#also it is very on brand for me for my first work in a fandom to be a fic where someone gets hurt

[alicenpai]

My assumption is that you may like Revolutionary Girl Utena, or maybe you never saw it but have thought about watching it

i actually watched a bit of utena & drew these pieces below! but this was way back in 2016 and i didn't finish the series (like almost everything i watch haha hence why i prefer reading)

it takes a lot of mental energy and effort for me to start a new series (i'm not a binger and i'm very selective of my media), and with how dreamy and abstract utena can be, i really gotta be in the right mood to watch a series like that. it seems the stars just haven't aligned for me to continue it. maybe one day i'll go back...

[xxswagcorexx]

thinking about that ashswag testrun ep......

[cavegirlpoems]

The Two D&Ds

I am going to make two statements:

I despise D&D, and consider it a parasitic drain on ttrpgs as an artform.

I love D&D and my fascination with it continually inspires me to create art using it.

These two statements might seem to be at odds, but in fact there is no conflict when one considers that the term 'D&D' is being used to refer to two completely different things. I hate one of those things and like the other. So let's unpack that. Firstly, there's D&D-as-a-lifestyle-brand. D&D as presented by critical role, by memes about horny bards and wholesome gay tiefling found families, and by the wider hasbro-sanctioned fandom. Where the actual design and mechanics of the game are a vague suggestion that exists homeopathically in the same vicinity as what you're doing. But really, you're inventing blorbos, collecting pretty dice, and speculating on events in an actual-play on twitch; the rules in that very pretty rulebook are an afterthought to the fandom.

Then there's D&D-as-a-family-of-ttrpg-mechanics. This covers the various editions of Dungeons & Dragons - from the white-box OD&D to 5th edition and everything in between - as well as various retroclones, hacks and spin-offs such as the OSR, Pathfinder, etc. This isn't defined as a cultural space; it's a set of game mechanics and design principles shared across the text of various games. And there's a lot of variation with the specifics, but like The Blues, if you know the basic structure it all makes sense.

The two D&Ds have very little to do with each other.

When indie people like myself criticise D&D, we are usually criticising the first one. We're generally outsiders to that fandom-space who are unhappy with the way that fandom encroches on, and ultimately stiffles, everything else in ttrpgs as an artistic medium. We tend also to dislike the very shallow interest in that fandom of the things we care about in ttrpgs - game design, gameplay, theory, criticism, etc.

Here's the thing. I am, personally, immensely critical of D&D-as-lifestyle-brand. I detest it, honestly. It strikes me as a corporate exploitation of the wider medium in pursuit of an easy profit, at the expense of catering to the lowest common denominator. Like invasive kudzu, it chokes out all ecological diversity in the art-form. Its a homogenising influence, and in my experience pretty anti-intillectual.

Because, at risk of sounding like a pseud, I consider ttrpg design to be an art-form that merits serious effort, discussion and appreciation.

However. D&D-as-a-set-of-games I actually quite like. I find myself fascinated by the way so many games take apart the starting framework of a given edition of D&D - like your 12-bar-blues structure - and adapt it and riff on it and fuse it with other genres. I find it interesting to track the way whole movements and genres mutate out from that starting position. Hell, I do that myself, a lot. A lot of my design work takes the very early editions of D&D as a starting point, gets into a groove, and riffs on it until it's seemingly unrecognisable.

To me, a work like Mork Borg is D&D (the second definition). It is, however, totally unrelated and unrecognisable to D&D (the first definition).

So I will talk about "D&D as the containment game for shit players" and I mean it, because I'm talking about type-1. And I'll do that while designing a paleolithic OSR game, because that's type-2. And by and large, all that happens when both those things intersect is people get upset.

[tenpintsof-sundrop]

Did you know that you can reblog fics with tags in order to bookmark them?

Okay the replies on this post are kind of sending me to space, so I figured I needed to make a new post.

I know a lot of people are new to tumblr and might not know how to use tumblr properly, and it does just make me go ??? whenever I look on someone's account and they have 0 reblogs and just have a giant wall of fanfiction in their likes. Because I cannot imagine scrolling through endless fanfiction posts in my likes looking for one fic when organizing things with tags is so much better.

First of all, for new people - reposting and reblogging are two very different things. If a writer has "do not repost" as a disclaimer, they are not talking about reblogging.

Reposting is when you copy and paste someone's entire work, make a brand new post, and then post their work under the implication that it is your own.

Reblogging is a function that is built into the website (and app) that comes up in a creator's notifications, showing that you appreciate their work because you interacted with it. Reblogs always have links back to the original poster so people can find them and follow them.

So - when you hit the reblog button (the one next to the like button that is shaped like a recycling symbol) - you are giving the author credit and encouraging them.

Also, you can use tags on your reblog to organize fanfiction for your own use later!

You can tag by genre -> #smut #angst #hurt and comfort

You can tag by a character's name -> #Spencer Reid #Emily Prentiss #Jennifer Jareau

You can tag by a pairing -> #Spencer Reid x Reader #Emily Prentiss x Reader

If you read fanfic from a lot of different fandoms, you can even structure your tags to include multiple elements -> #Spencer Reid x Reader Smut

A lot of people even reblog fanfics and tag them as #TBR or #to be read - in order to bookmark a fic that they are interested in and want to come back to later.

And you can edit the tags on posts you have reblogged at any time, so if you want to edit something that you have already read and update the tags, you can do that.

I think it's a shame that people aren't taking advantage of this websites very useful features (while supporting fanfic writers at the same time). You don't need to keep links to Tumblr fanfiction somewhere else in order to organize them - if you use Tumblr right, you can keep everything organized within Tumblr and it works perfectly.

[hgejfmw-hgejhsf]

Thoughts from just another fandom writer

I am not a popular writer in my fandom. You may see that sentence and think, wow, what's about to come next, but just stay with me for a bit. I promise there's a point.

I am not a popular writer in my fandom. You won't see my name splashed across Twitter when a new update posts with the expectation that people are going to flock to my page. People don't recognize my fics by just a name. And none of my fics are ever going to be considered one of THE fics within the fandom.

Do I get sad about that sometimes? Sure. I'm only human. Do I write a fic and think that the amount of pride I have in it and in myself might mean that this is the one that people will recommend to all of their friends because they just HAVE to read it? Also yes. I think we all want that when we put a piece of ourselves out into the world in our art. And that certainly holds true for me, as someone whose huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart is on the outside of her body.

But I also have an incredible group of humans who do loyally read my works, all of them (despite the ridiculous number I've published in just 7 months' time) and leave incredibly kind and thoughtful comments that bring me to tears every time. My writing, from just July until now, when I published a fic for the first time in 10 years because I couldn't fathom going another day without allowing these characters into my mind and heart through the typing of my fingers, has grown immensely, and I want more than anything for it to continue to improve as time goes on.

Which is why I scroll through the feed every day, searching for new works to read by new and old authors alike. Just today, I read a work by someone who was publishing their very first fic, who set it as a New Year's resolution for themselves. And I left a comment for them to see the next time they're online.

It cost me absolutely nothing to hit the kudos button and make a comment. And I hope that, like me, a kind word will go a long way towards encouraging that author to keep writing. To keep sharing their soul with us as a fandom. To keep loving it the way that I love it.

I'm writing this to encourage all of you, regardless of the number of subscribers, hits, kudos, or comments you have, or how many rec lists you've made, or where you are in your writing journey, to always remember that there was once a time when you were a brand new writer, too, and I urge you to remember how much something like a comment meant to you in your journey. I'll leave y'all with one of my favorite song lyrics to further emphasize my point:

When you get where you're goin Don't forget turn back around And help the next one in line Always stay humble and kind

[sgiandubh]

What happened with Barbour ?

Dear Barbour Anon,

My favorite kind of Anon, even if I know the question has recently been asked again and not in this corner. Never mind, I think it's time to talk about it, too.

I bought my first Barbour (entry-level, so olive) Bedale wax jacket 25 years ago, from their (long gone, now) shop on Boulevard Raspail, in Paris. It was a mandatory clothing item to own if you wanted to properly mingle with the law school crowd (it still is) and it ended up being one of my most prized possessions, possibly a part of me. I still have it somewhere, back home. Two more followed, along with a fetishist array of shirts, scarves, beanies and even one of those sturdy crossbody bags you can fit half a house in. So you can imagine my absolute thrill when I found out, very very late, that S had had a rather substantial collaboration with them, from 2016 and until 2019.

I am very bad with timelines, as you probably know and possibly even cackle about, but still: S was appointed as the company's first ever Global Brand Ambassador on July 16, 2016. His mission statement was very precisely defined by the brand and for some reason we'll analyze a bit later, this is important:

(Source, heh: https://www.astonbourne.co.uk/is-barbour-a-luxury-brand-unraveling-the-mystique-of-classic-outerwear/).

A shirt and vest signature collection followed in 2017 and 2018, with the contract being renewed. Advertisement was absolutely gorgeous and designed to shape a very positive image, both for S and the brand. Last autumn's SS Gin promo retained some of that irresistible aesthetic DNA and I discussed it at length.

See for yourself, Anon. The fandom endlessly discussed the first long clip (with the chocolate labrador), but I have no idea if these two have been seen, let alone debated. If they did, let that be my nostalgic mistake.

Spring/Summer 2018:

Fall 2018:

And then disaster stroke, with S's trip to Ha-wa-wee 1.0, in the spring of 2019. A short reel, featuring a rather agglomerated boat trip, was posted on socials. Unfortunately for S, it also featured an allegedly horrifying scene involving the 'traditional' bludgeoning to death of a tuna fish. Emotions ensued and as it often happens here, they spun out of control. Many people, including some of the most vocal S haters, tagged Barbour in their diatribes, filled with environmentalist indignation. They suggested this guy (who did not participate to the savagery and I would be even unsure he realized what was going on) was, by no reasonable means, a proper 'embodiment of the brand's identity, values and aspirations' (remember that mission statement?).

Tone deaf as ever in the midst of a serious PR crisis, S put friendship above anything else, and publicly praised the boat's owner, calling him 'the heart and soul of the island', if I remember well. I still would like to think he has no idea what the hell exactly happened. And then, when somebody finally (August 2019) asked Barbour on Insta about their collaboration with S, they got this politely dry, but clear answer:

"We don't have any plans for a collaboration with SH in the near future" means, in my book and to my understanding, "we are never going to work with this guy again". Truly, some people in here who dare to give morality lessons to others, should be proud of themselves: they did it knowingly and in a very organized way, using multiple sock accounts, to give the impression of a collective retching reflex. To cut the story short, the dread of any ad campaign on this planet.

The effort was genuine. The result of that collaboration was very good. Take, for example, this somewhat heartbreaking customer review by an American guy who has no idea who SRH is and who bought one of those jackets from a Barbour factory warehouse, in 2021, with a hefty rebate (70% off). Clearly something Barbour wanted to get rid of at all costs - what a pity and really what a SHAME on all those hypocrites who will never admit to a public assassination by the book:

This time, I am absolutely not sorry for the length, Anon. This is something that still makes me boil. Unfairness and cheap nastiness simply disgust me.

(Thank you, sweetheart, for the screenshot, always. You know who you are 😘😘😘).

[wayfayrr]

YOOOOOOOO HAPPY ANNIVERSARY TO YOUR FIRST LU X READER FIC 🎉🎉🎉🎉🎉

Also, if you want a song for a fic, how about 'not another song about love' By Hollywood Ending?

I found this song through Pinky's Legend playlist and have since latched on and not let go :)

THANK YOUUUUUU - being here this long and just everything that happened in the last year and a bit now?? insane, this fandom is just incredible and I'm so glad for it <33

BUT THIS SONG???? screams legend beyond belief, and it's written like a wholeass internal dialog - so it was easy to work the lines into this <3 [@h4wari come and get your husband]

“I hate your voice.”

“I know.”

“I hate your lips.”

“Sure.”

“I hate how bad I want to steal your kiss.”

THAT is new. This whole song and dance happens nearly every single night now, always a twisted song about love because he simply doesn’t want to be vulnerable with anyone. But this? This is brand new, he’s not gotten quite this close to a true confession ever before. If I wasn’t so worried about him retreating into himself I’d question it more, but I know better to do that. Not that that stops the words slipping from my lips, afterall he’s all that I’ve been dreaming of. 

“Well what if I handed it over freely?”

This is not another one of our songs about love. 

With me asphyxiated just to say the least, his eyes staring into my very soul suffocating me. But he couldn’t care less, even as it’s getting hard for me to breathe. 

“Nothing ever comes for free darling. I live with ravio, I’ve learnt that well.”

“You think I’d charge you for a kiss?”

“I think your empty lungs are a much greater cost than some measly rupees.”

But everything you do makes my heart race, I can't even think straight. Is this all just a game to you? My feelings, my heart is it nothing but your plaything? This is not our clockwork fight. 

“So you’ll… let my breathlessness go to waste?”

“I never said that darlin.”

[bakuhatsufallinlove]

Hello, I hope I can ask you this. I was exploring the Jp side of YouTube and watching review and discussion videos on MHA. I found a couple of popular videos on the potential future relationships of all the characters, and as expected, they were all the default m/f pairs. But the comments took me by surprise. Most of them were about “greentea,” obviously, but I could also see comments on very odd pairs like Eri and Deku, Mahoro and Bakugo, and even Eri and Mirio quite frequently! (Even typing it out is making me cringe)😭😭😭 However, I also saw a couple of comments on Bakugo and Deku, but very few, probably 1 out of 100. I’m really curious about how bkdk is perceived by the general Japanese audience, is it even taken seriously? Maybe I just couldn’t find any review videos that even considered them as a pair, but the ones I saw were kinda popular too; they had plenty of views. So yeah, I’d love to know your thoughts on this, again I hope this is ok to ask🥹

Also I just discovered you and I love all your content!😭 I’ve exhausted them haha, thank you so much for your work! Lots of love! 🩷🩷🩷

First off, I want to mention that I have a hitherto unspoken rule to not comment on ships other than bkdk. I know you are asking about bkdk specifically, but the framework of the question brings other things into the discussion, so I want to say this clearly to discourage follow-up questions from others which may be angled toward different ships or ship discourse in general. Bkdk is what I’m here for, so bkdk is what I’m going to talk about.

In regards to your actual question, I’m gonna answer by giving you some information about how fandom works in Japan.

Bkdk is the most popular mha ship in Japan in terms of fanworks, by a wide margin.

Japanese fandom is, compared to English-speaking fandom, heavily centered on fanart. Japan has frequent doujinshi (independently published comic) events where dozens or even hundreds of artists come to distribute their work, and many of these have been going on for decades. It is not hyperbole to say that some kind of doujinshi event, showcasing brand new work, is going on in at least one major city in Japan every single month, and these events are attended by hundreds and sometimes thousands of people. Sometimes there are two or more events in a single month.

To be clear, doujinshi are not only fanworks, which is why I specified “independently published comic.” Lots of doujin are original works, and many now well-known mangaka got their start, gained connections, and built their early fanbase through participating in doujin circles (collaborative groups of artists who create work under the same independent label). My point is that visual art and comics are so huge in Japan it is hard to overstate their prominence in the culture as a whole, let alone fandom culture.

So, fanart and doujin are huge, and among fans who make fanart/doujin, bkdk is wildly popular.

The thing you have to ask yourself is, does fanwork represent general readership? Drawing fanart is the most common way to show your love for a series in Japan, but that definitely doesn’t mean every reader is drawing fanart. In my opinion, fanfic is prominent in USA-centered fandom, but obviously only a fraction of the people who enjoy a series are going to write fanfic for it.

I don’t think we can really quantify the opinions of general readership this way. I mean, when you scroll through the comment section of the same kind of clickbaity, hot-topic videos about anime/manga that English-speaking audiences watch, do you feel like those comments accurately reflects what most people think? I know I don’t. There is always going to be a selection bias, because “people who comment on youtube videos” also only represent a fraction of “people who read mha.”

Japanese fandom is significantly more segmented and considerate of differing tastes than English-speaking fandom.

Japanese fandom is pretty strict with its rules of engagement. Personal privacy and respect for others are very important factors. Artists don’t want to be recognized at their day-job for their R18 doujin. Shippers don’t want their comments or cutesy fanart to be algorithmically-fed to users who have no interest in it. This is seen as polite and correct; it is respectful of the fact that people have different tastes, and not everyone will share yours.

See, Japanese fandom recognizes that the internet constitutes public view.

So fan language is coded: words are spelled slightly differently; characters, events, or ships get unique euphemistic nicknames; words or names are replaced with emojis. All of this is to prevent their stuff from being seen by someone just casually searching “Bakugou.”

You have to be in the know to know how to find stuff. You have to actively search for like-minded fans and curate your space, expanding your circle typically through word of mouth. And you have to abide by the rules, or else everyone is going to think you’re an overbearing jerk and not wanna be around you.

If you are just using google translate on social media posts or videos visibly labeled under the series title, you aren’t going to find much in regards to active shipping. Frankly, you aren’t going to see the whole scope of Japanese bkdk fan activity in any one place using any one method. This is how Japanese fandom is designed, and people work pretty hard to keep it that way.

Japanese fandom does not generally engage from the perspective that their desires will be validated by canon.

This is one of the biggest differences. In English-speaking fandom, you see people argue left and right about what’s going to be canon, who’s the endgame ship, and so on. People are very preoccupied by the idea that their ship has to be “validated,” and this validation comes from the notion that canon will reflect their personal preferences and fulfill their hopes for how the story will go.

This is just not the atmosphere in the vast majority of Japanese fan spaces. Remember how I said that jpn fandom recognizes that people have different tastes? This means people also tend to think that it is rather arrogant and demanding to think that your wishes are the only ones that should come true. It is also disrespectful of the mangaka’s artistic vision and hard-work to expect them to disregard their own desires to satisfy you personally.

So, when you ask, “are bkdk even taken seriously?” the question is built upon the idea that people who enjoy the series expect an outcome catered to their tastes.

As you said, most of the comments were for heterosexual pairings, which are the most obvious to predict considering the endings of other popular series published in Weekly Shonen Jump. Furthermore, Yashahime—sequel anime to shounen manga Inuyasha—confirmed that a character roughly ten years of age later grew up and had children with a (slowly-aging but adult) supernatural being who served as her caretaker and protector.

Maybe the video commenters were reflecting personal interest in those ships, or maybe they were just spit-balling off stuff they'd seen before. I can tell you I haven't really seen fanart for any of that, but I don't go looking for it, and m/f ship spaces will be separate from m/m ship spaces.

Still, it is important to remember that audience expectation is not directly correlated to outcome. When the online Shonen Jump+ manga Blue Flag was first published, the vast majority of readers did not expect that one of the characters in the love triangle would be gay. Hell, they expected it so little that the reveal went viral!

Audience expectation may be interesting to think about, but it is not a prediction method.

To sum it up:

Bkdk is extremely popular, but jpn fandom is very private and structured differently than English-speaking fandom.

Any metric of measurement for reader opinion will have its flaws, and audience expectation is not a foolproof way to gauge real outcome.

Personally, I think we should all take a cue from jpn fandom and just have fun.

I hope that answers your question and gives you some context, anon. Thank you for the kind comments on my work, I really appreciate it. <3

[sugaredrhubarb]

Reading with Ru: Aug/Sept Fic Recs

I know I'm certainly in need of some positivity and escapism lately, so I'm gonna try to do semi-regular fic and book recs! Starting with a retroactive what I've been reading from the past couple of months with this account! (I might go back in time and make an all-time rec list later)

COD

starting with cod because i know most of you go here

Sergeant Squeaks by @charliemwrites - (series of one-shots ghost x reader and price x reader separately) both one of my favourite reader characters and my favourite canon setting depictions of Ghost and Price. their own weird brands of showing love are wonderful; the tension leading to getting together is fantastic, and the sex is super enjoyable.

Ghost Stories by @kneelingshadowsalome - (ghost x medic!reader) I'm repeating myself, but I love Salome's writing. This is where I was first introduced to it, and I think it's really special. Ghost POV as he struggles with developing and then accepting love. felt so real and grounded. angsty and then fluffy, and you can't help but adore the reader as well.

saltwater by @ceilidho - (ghost x reader) It's pretty unlikely any of you don't know Ceil, but on the off chance you haven't given this one a read yet, it really is a must. I lump praise on her pretty regularly, but I don't know anyone who is able to portray their character's emotions as intimately as Ceil. her ghost feels really grounded in all his complexity. there is a common theme in these recs of really enjoyable reader characters, and this is not an exception; the reader feels like a full but still ambiguous character who is vulnerable and strong and really great.

don't leave me locked in your heart by @ohbo-ohno - (ghoap x reader dark!) we all know bo, we all love bo. I always love the way she depicts ghost and soap's dynamic changing and evolving to include the reader. the descent into dark territory in this is really really fun. It's also just hot and well-written! if you haven't read it before, go read it, and then go read all of bo's drabbles and asks on here. genuinely one of my favourite dark but still fun writers. I think she balances it really well.

body electric by @yeyinde and Afterburn by @sprout-fics - (141 + Los Vaqueros x reader) a classic. I've returned to these so many times. sometimes you just want to read dirty, filthy, well done, smut and then warm cozy aftercare. not to wax poetic about pure sex (except that's exactly what one should do), but I think it can be really hard to write group sex like this and still have such insightful and individual glimpses into each character and dynamic, and Lev does it wonderfully. and then it's also hard to find good aftercare fic, and Sprout's feels like literal aftercare for both the reader character and the reader.

other fandoms

tried to curate to themes i think overlap in some of the cod works! and I think most of these can be read fandom blind.

i revisited @winterrose527's fic in August, and even though she already knows how much I love her work, I won't skip a chance to repeat it. Anna writes for asoiaf and is pretty much the queen of Robb Stark/Myrcella Baratheon, but I would say the modern AUs (my favs) can be read almost completely fandom blind. Any contemporary romance enjoyer would love her work. I'm really partial to her kid/single-parent fics. I think it's so hard to get right, and I always adore reading her kid characters and how she approaches love stories when kids are involved. anna's works are always brimming with love and incredible platonic, familiar, parent-child, and romantic relationships (if kid fic isn't your thing she also has a ton of other great fics). personal favs: We Could Be a Little Something, And There They Are, All the Same

Lawless by @goldcranes - (arthur morgan x ofc) age difference, cowboy love story, essentially a romance novel. if goldcranes has no fans, I'm dead. I encourage you to explore her work; very few people write as strongly across multiple fandoms as she does, and each of her works feels like a really strong love story with special characters.

The Odyssey by @sunlightmurdock - (bradley bradshaw x reader) 1980's roman literature prof x virgin student - no need to know top gun. katie's work is another entry in the 'feels like it stands really strongly separately from the source material' category. she has multiple ongoing AU's that I really love, but this one is a favourite. i think she does complex characters really well - their actions always feel intentional, and as flawed as they are, I always love them.

Wouldn't it be Nice by allyoops - (m/f captive A/B/O) if you aren't reading original works smut on ao3 you are missing out and allyoops is a great place to start for noncon, dubcon, age gap, taboo etc. enjoyers. they have a ton of works; usually one shots with lots of really delicious dynamics and different settings and tropes.

An Intoxicating Presence by FormerlyIR - (mob a/b/o haladriel) MOB. A/B/O. HALADRIEL. picks up with Halbrand in prison thanks to undercover FBI agent (and his mate!) Galadriel. does that sound crazy and awesome? well it is. mix it with Gal's internal struggle, the added complication of omegaverse, and overall great writing. really fun and really damn good.

civitas terrena by banalityofweevil - (darklina) angel Alina on an exploration of love in immortality with fallen angel Aleks. honestly, it's just a must-read for enjoyers of writing. incredibly creative with divine (literally and figuratively) imagery. i think one of my comments was on the precision of lulu's diction and I really stand by that.

tinsel into gold by ribbonedhare - (darklina) ddlg and cnc friends, this changed me. it is so warm and soft and my god, is it good. just scrumptious.

Be My Babydoll by KittyDruthers - (darklina) ddlg dollification need I say more

check the reading with ru tag for more!

[violetmuses]

Opposites Attract - A. Aretas (Part II) ❤️‍🩹

Title: Opposites Attract - A. Aretas (Part II) ❤️‍🩹

Fandom: “Bad Boys” Film Universe

Character: Armando Aretas

Pairing: Armando Aretas + Detective!Reader

Main Storyline: Working with the Miami Police Department, you meet criminal Armando Aretas for the very first time. @adoresmiles @nobodygetsza 🏷

Part I ❤️‍🩹

======

2024

“Where did she come from?” Armando Aretas revealed this question about you while facing Mike and standing in his brand-new portable cell.

This federal transport would send everyone back to Miami, Florida.

“Joined our department and she's been pretty quiet until this point.” Mike defended your work here. “Almost fought me before we visited you last time.”

“She swung?” Armando wouldn't laugh despite the joke.

“No, but she'll definitely kick some ass when provoked.” Despite noting Aretas, Mike turns your way regardless. “Just like you.”

Across this space, you closed your eyes while trying to sleep. Even Mike's longtime partner and best friend Marcus Burnett trailed the operation.

______

Once everyone returned to Miami safe and sound, you watched surveillance cameras as precinct staff observed Armando.

“What happens now?” You looked toward Mike and Marcus. “We can't keep Armando in the building all night.”

“Her place…” Marcus pointed near you without thinking twice.

“I'll smack right upside your peasy-ass head, Marcus!” Mike then scrunched up his face. “No.”

“If anyone's harboring a fugitive, it might as well be her.” Marcus brought you up once more.

“That's crazy.” Mike couldn't believe what's going on.

“I can't bring Armando near the house with my family and you don't want to scare Christine, either.” Marcus continued speaking.

Burnett even referred to Mike's wife Christine, a physical therapist. She also helped Mike heal throughout the shooting recovery years back.

“I'll do it. Just tell him.” You say, gathering your belongings to leave with Armando.

Here we go. You thought.

_____

No more restraints, but Armando still joined the backseat of this car that night and small luggage occupied your trunk.

“If she calls from any bullshit, you're dealing with me.” Mike handles the warning for Aretas and still protected you.

“Same rule applies.” Marcus also stepped up. “I made the suggestion, but don't make me knock you out. She's like family.”

“Back off.” Armando grumbled from his spot while sitting in your car. “I'm not stupid.”

“Open the back door right now and whoop his ass, Mike!” Marcus nearly erupted over Armando talking back.

“Stop arguing. Can I leave?!” You finally roll down the driver's seat window, pissed.

“Go.” Mike then lifted both hands to absolutely surrender, watching your car exit.

_____

Organizing essentials at home, you straightened up the guest room while Armando waited.

“Everything's set up whenever you're ready.” You find Aretas looking downstairs, mainly focused on pictures.

You loved ones gathered different snapshots around the living room. Even Mike and Marcus invited special moments through photographs.

“Oh, hey. Thanks.” Armando realizes your presence.

“Of course, but I have a question.” You look near Aretas.

“Sure.” He waited again.

“Before Mike cut us off, what did you plan to say at the prison?” You seemed curious.

“I wanted your phone number.” Aretas flirted right back.

“No chance.” You scoffed. “By tomorrow, Mike should come back here and you'll be gone.”

“Fair enough. Good night.” Armando dropped this conversation and headed upstairs, leaving you.

_______

The next day, you're kind enough to make breakfast and share that kitchen table with Armando.

“Mike just texted me. Everything's packed?” You cleaned up this space.

“Yeah. Thank you.” Armando clipped the response once more and didn't talk much otherwise.

“You're welcome. See you around.” You at least bid farewell. Aretas would still join AMMO sooner than later.

Heading outside, you watch Mike's classic Porsche roll up.

“Good. Armando didn't burn your shit down last night.” Mike jokes with you when leaving the car.

“Don't kill each other.” You kept squinting through the Florida heat.

“Sin promesas, cariño.” Armando pulled his native language of Spanish.

“Hey!” Mike gasped upon realization. Even you cracked up watching both men bicker when the Porsche left your home.

Father and son indeed.

[ayyyez]

"Extra fandom options" she says, as if she means anything other than haikyuu 😂 Heheh of course you may do whatever you want always but you know what I'm here for, gotta be on brand.

SO if you have any thoughts of Tanaka and Ennoshita in a romantic relationship headcannons, either solo or in a poly relationship, I'd love to read them! Fluff and/or spicy, you know I'll happily read and gush over what you write. Thanks and you look good today!

Also first.

a/n: not these sitting in my inbox forever. But hey look I’ve finally gotten around to them bc I wanna think about hq while my sinuses hate me 😂 but im doing these first for you 🫡

Tags: relationship headcanons, fluff, kissing, spooning, confessing, poly (at the end)

Characters: Tanaka Ryuunosuke, Ennoshita Chikara (with x reader and poly [seperated])

Tanaka

God this guy is the most in love sap you would ever encounter but he’s so endearing.

After the whole ‘marry me’ Kiyoko situation he decides to hold back a little when he has a crush. But this is by Tanakas standards. His holding back is he very obviously has a crush on you but isn’t asking you out (or to marry you) right away.

Being near you and gestures are his go to. It’s canon. And how he reacts depends on how you are.

If you’re the type to go out of your way to talk to him then he’s like doki doki BEST DAY EVER! but also isn’t 10/10 intense every time you talk to him. He chills a little. BUT STILL DEDICATED TO YOU.

If you’re more naive or the shy type then just a small smile from you is enough to get him through the day. Very much oh boy they looked at me I’m the best wing spiker in the world.

To get into a relationship with him one of two things need to happen.

One: you gotta give him a sign that you are into him. Flirt-Tease him about his antics (particularly the taking shirt of woo) or just give him a compliment saying you’re into him. Give him smiles more than anyone else. Then he’s just ‘go out with me PLEASE.’

Two: ask him out. He will combust and Tanaka.exe will stop working for a moment. But then he’s like OKAY. (Doesn’t wanna fuck it up and over do it. It’s steered him wrong before)

Dating this guy means waking up the luckiest person ever. You are SPOILED with attention, gestures and affection.

Man is a personal heater. Big spoon, little spoon, doesn’t matter longs you be spooning.

A bit of a restless sleeper and sleep talker. It’s kinda funny the silly things he says. One time yelled ‘LEFFFFT’ in his sleep.

The only way to stop the wriggling is spooning him harder than you’ve spooned before. Still has a stray leg flicking every now and again but it’s better.

His first kiss has him sweating the details. Wants to make it perfect like in those manga he reads but overthinks it. He takes ages to do it if you want him to initiate.

Just kiss him honestly. The reaction is worth it. The reddest blush. Once again stops working.

Once he’s done it though his smooches are so good. Passionate boy starts soft then HES HUNGRY FOR MORE. Very intense. Kinda awkward with his tongue at first but he gets it.

He’s big on physical touch but it doesn’t have to be big. A hand held is gold to him. Cuddling is just something he lives for.

Cannot handle alcohol so you’re carrying (or organising others to) carry his ass home. Super sappy and happy drunk. ‘I love… youuuuuu’. A crier too. He just feels extra hard.

Get a couple into him though and he dances like no one’s watching. Actually not half bad until he starts stripping. Only you can stop him. He’s too obsessed with you to care about anything else he was doing.

Makeouts on the couch are BIG with him. Won’t take it further until you ask. Gotta be a gentleman. Yes even when his hands are squeezing your ass.

Ennoshita Chikara

The type to silently indulge in his crush every now and again while FIGHTING and PUSHING those feelings down.

At least, that’s how it is at first. He will be your friend first so he doesn’t want to compromise that. Just let’s pretend we don’t feel that for now shall we?

As if he could hold that back. It takes a while but it’s not long before something pushes him (he’s afraid of losing you) and he’s spilling his feelings.

He may be spilling but he’s seems like he’s confident with the monologue that comes out of his mouth. When he finishes his eyes are just wide and staring at your shoes. Evidently he was not so confident.

Grab one of this clenched fists. Pull his chin up to face you. Tell him you feel (maybe not in as many words as he did) the same way.

‘Are you sure!?’ ENNOSHITA PLEASE.

Honestly takes a while to accept it but once he does he is noticeably on top of the world.

Doesn’t announce it to the world but once people asks he’s smuggly like YEP WE ARE INDEED DATING peasants. Like damn Ennoshita.

A very caring and protective guy. Lets you do your thing while watching your back from the sidelines. Will punch people for you but won’t let that slip.

Very much a words of affirmation, tease and quality time dude.

Will go with the flow but will absolutely take charge.

His first kisses are those cute gesture ones. A kiss on the cheek, a peck on the lips or a smooch planted on the forehead.

You gotta grab this man by the cheeks and just plant one passionate kiss on him. That leaves him frozen for a second and then oop self control gone. MAKE OUT TIME.

More of an alone time physical touch guy but will break that when he’s particularly ehem into you. Or if some jerk thinks they can pick you up.

Plants one on you while maintaining eye contact with said jerk. Or places a very in your face arm around your shoulders.

Very much a big spoon guy. It just makes him feel protective. Also kind of like he’s leeching your hair warmth.

Pretty chill sleeper. Once he’s out he doesn’t move much. Sometimes you wake up facing him and he’s blowing air in your face (sleep breathing).

Kiss his nose and he’ll scrunch it in his sleep and let out a soft ‘mmm?’ But doesn’t wake up.

Tanaka and Ennoshita poly

You’re all in a relationship. Tanaka and Ennoshita included. Their crush on each other goes back a while they just never wanted to admit it.

You coming into their lives kind of makes it easier. Well eventually.

Once they realise they both have a crush on you both of them want to be the better man and let them have you. (Even if a small part inside them is screaming for the opposite).

It’s up to you to set them down and be like ‘nah uh I’ll have both’ and then also set them onto the path of realising they also like each other. It’s a very eventful week.

Ennoshita is still the big spoon. You’re the middle. Tanaka is either little or wrapped around you like a Koala. Depends on the day.

Ennoshita is the wrangler and kind of takes charge when he needs to. Tanaka is the passionate but also softy. It’s up to you whether you want to continuously go with the flow or take charge every now and again.

Just imagine sitting on the couch between them and taking turns making out. Start with Tanaka then come up for air and turn to Ennoshita. He’s a bit more intense when he’s second, handsy too. Then sit back and watch them kiss each other.

Every now and again you get home late and find them either cuddling or asleep in each others arms on the couch with some movie playing in the background.

Ennoshita brings his (grand) movie collection to the relationship. Tanaka brings his home gym. You tie it all together by hyping up both.

[wynought]

since i haven't seen it being pointed out before

all of the first stoats' names essentially mean "light"

kiran is of sanskrit origin meaning "ray of light" (and, according to wikipedia, an explicitly unisex name), uri is a hebrew name meaning "my light", hester is a variant of the name esther (of biblical/jewish origin) which comes from the same old persian root as the word "star", and, while i didn't find any particularly reliable source, various babyname websites at least seem to agree that jomei is a japanese name meaning "spread light"

additionally, their names seem to correlate with their purpose/position in last bast:

jomei is the speaker, they are in charge of propaganda - quite literally spreading the belief system and worldview of the first stoats aka the Light. it feels like this name is extremely straightforward in its meaning, but i was also unable to find much else on it, so there may be some additional hidden truth that i'm missing so far.

hester is the silence (the one with the gas mask missing their lower jaw and tongue) and their sphere of influence is secrets. now, i'm no religious scholar, and i have all of my information from quite literally the introductory paragraphs of the wikipedia article on the name esther. however, it seems that queen esther only took this name after ascending to the throne of persia to hide her true identity. this is reflected in the hebrew root of the name esther translating into "hide"/"conceal". (i am unable to provide more info on this, but anybody with a working understanding of how hebrew works and/or with more insight on the book of esther, feel free to interject/correct/add on to this)

uri is our beloved stoat pope. apparently, the name uri comes from the verb for "to shine" (to either be or to give light) and the mark of possession, resulting in the first connotation i mentioned earlier - "my light". this possessive marker, however, can also be interpreted as the name Yah which would be an abbreviation of YHWH - a marker of the divine, if you will. Therefore, Uri can also mean "Yah is my light", a very fitting name for the stoat whose department we only see called "faith".

i was unable to find a deeper meaning behind kiran's name, although to me "beam of light" feels very much like a name befitting the first stoats' leader. considering the way they commanded the wolf of theseus, it also seems to reflect the way their magic/their brand of control worked (their line of sight was part of how they controlled the wolf, indicating that was a key part of either their magic or the conditioning inflicted on the wolf - i'm partial towards the latter, considering how the wolf reacted to tula after she healed it). if anybody has anything more concrete to offer, though, i am all ears!

anyways, the first stoats' names are really cool, and we as a fandom don't talk enough about them because they died so fast. huge props to aabria for this fun bit of world building!

(disclaimer: as mentioned above, i have no background in theology or judaism, nor do i have any deeper knowledge of sanskrit, hindi, and indian mythology/folklore, nor japanese, and japanese mythology which would give me a deeper understanding of these names. my information comes from google and while i did try my best to verify the claims, i am fallible and happen to currently be very tired, so please correct me, if i made any mistakes!)

[demonslayedher]

A messy ramble about sword decor

Kimetsu no Yaiba was sleeping on menuki, man.

That came back to mind today while visiting a museum exhibit of very fancy sword mountings (like so), because I am me and admiring very realistic metal insects and tiny metal carvings of Tale of Heike battle scenes will always come back to my fandom brain rot. The menuki specifically were on my mind because they are decorative pieces on the handles that hide the mekugi, which are key structural elements--pegs where the handle is attached to the blade, and where some might say a soul is put into a sword.

And, a few years ago while KnY hype was at its height, I heard some people who seemed to try to talk down the hype, saying, "the swords don't even have mekugi! Those aren't real Japanese swords!" Which means a lot to most non-nerds, I'm sure.

True, a lot of the Nichirin-to don't include visible pegs in their design, which you could argue is just because they are covered up with other wrappings on the handles. But realism really isn't a concern since Sanemi and Shinobu would probably constantly stabbing themselves with those tsuba.

So anyway!! The tsuba! The handguards and what they say about the characters is a very, very nice touch, and I love wondering if the swordsmiths designed those fully based on their own imaginations and perhaps what crows told them about the kids (like "he was a charcoal farmer" or "he's a Rengoku") or if the swordsmen got any chance to put in their own requests on the regular ("I was a charcoal farmer, I don't know what to ask for" or "Sabito had one like this"). It's also fun to see the creativity involved in creating the scabbards for unique swords like Shinobu's and Iguro's.

But we can do so much mooooore!

I love the simplicity of the Nichirin-to. They are elegant and purposeful, with engravings being earned and standardized. But they are also beautiful, and the general idea must be "if those swordsmen are putting their lives on the line, we will give them powerful tools, but they might as well get to enjoy something decorative for the rest of their likely short life." The menuki would have been such an opportunity for this, though the details would be hard to spot in both anime and manga format. So instead I just want to ponder the possibilities.

Shinobu:

I was very inspired by all the metal inlay bugs and the butterfly motifs I saw today. I love the elegant engraving on the scabbard, and that her tsuba takes part of the traditional Shippou (Seven Treasures) pattern to make a vague butterfly shape. But I also saw one today that have a wisteria shaped menuki (and other bug motifs!!). But also, knowing her, she might be pleased to have a decorative little fish tucked behind the cords.

Sanemi:

I LOVE THE VIOLENT PINWHEEL. What a whimsical way to express wind! Speaking of bugs, why not give him a rhinoceros beetle, symbolic of fighting spirit? After all, I even saw realistic little snail ones today, anything goes. And while we're thinking wind--

Rengoku:

Wind chime??? Even the balloon flower pattern like was on the wind chime in that scene makes a lovely metal engraving pattern on other mountings on the scabbard. Totally unrelated, but today I say a brand of tangerines called "Shiranui" (the same name as the First Form of Flame Breath) for sale at the store, so heck, why not an apricot theme somewhere too? Orrrrrr you can also work with a "heart" theme to compliment all the flames. Oh, speaking of hearts--

Mitsuri:

Mitsuri's tsuba might look like four hearts, but this is actually an uncommon but traditional spin on a cherry blossom motif. Aside from all the possible ways you play with a cherry blossom motif, the traditional "inome" protective pattern is nowadays considered romantic because it looks like an upside-down heart. There's a lot of nice ways of using that shape, like a window in the a tsuba, or in her case, maybe to frame some other pattern used as part of an engraved piece. Speaking of "inome" though--

Inosuke:

"Inome" means "boar's eye," though it looks more like a boar snout. Kanamori could have done all kinds of things with this motif, or even used little boar-shaped menuki! Not that any of those efforts would have mattered.

Iguro:

Clearly the snake theme could be used a lot, but why not be more creative? He's actually a pretty sensitive dude, and my read on him is that he seems to like scenes that imply "purity," partly because he ses himself as so tainted and doesn't dare taint anything pure. Nature motifs like snow, or the elegant snow-moon-flowers triple motif suit his poetic soul nicely, and snakes are considered a water element (makes sense that his Breath stems from Water Breathing), so some water related theme could work too. In this same vein, snakes are generally considered as much as water element as dragons, so giving him a dragon item would also fit just fine with a snake theme.

Himejima:

Hard to think of this one in the same way as the others, but I'm sure there are methods for decorating it. Like, what does he even use as a scabbard? Maybe he has a nice strong brocade or woven cord for wrapping up the chains? There are so many ways you could work in Buddhist themes for him, especially the six characters used to write "Namu Amida Butsu" (but that's already all over his haori). There's gotta be good themes out there (both of Buddhist origin or general Japanese folk and/or poetic culture) to play on the idea of "strength." Oh heck, just give him a little Benkei-related motif, or a motif related to a famous demon slayer of the past.

--ON THAT NOTE--

Wouldn't it be cool if, like there are "Tale of Heike" themed menuki, there were menuki celebrating famous moments in Corp history? Maybe it was suddenly very popular to make menuki of Uzui vs Gyutaro once that momentous battle occurred? Uzui would love that. You could also have more subtle history, like motifs shaped like The Marks, which the swordsmiths have maintained in their traditions without knowing why certain symbols became associated with certain Breaths. If Yoriichi hadn't been disgraced, he probably would have been a common theme too.

Uzui:

ALL THE DECOR, but what about fireworks all over the shiny lacquer? Or the scene in Tale of Genji in which Genji stands in a storm at the beach (a hidden reference to the names of each of Uzui's wives)?

Muichiro:

GINKGO LEAVES, MAN. And the moon because it would be ironic.

Tanjiro:

What if he had a little SUNSHINE on a simple menuki?? Something nice and understated! Or even his fox mask!!! Or--oh, oh, oh---

Giyuu:

WHAT IF THEY HAD MATCHING FOXES

Also, it would be very nice if there was some useful of the waves and clouds pattern on the metal pieces of his scabbard.

Zenitsu:

There's already a lot of lightning and triangle on this sword, and I like how his matches Kaigaku's. I could see this being a situation of Zenitsu getting his sword polished and using the opportunity to ask for any number of cute and auspicious decorations and being flat out told, "no, this is what Thunder Breath swords look like."

Kanao:

Freaking flowers everywhere, but I also saw a crest today that had three butterflies in a circle around a flower, and it was repeated all over the sword, especially the lacquer of the scabbard. Wouldn't that be a cute reference to the sorts of people who inspired her to learn Breath technique and then sneak off to the Final Selection?

Genya:

He has such a very typical straightforward tsuba you'd actually see in real life. You one of the menuki themes I saw today? One one side, it is a "speedy demon" running off with a stolen stupa (which has the relics of Buddha inside), and on the other side, a Buddhist protective deity running after the demon with a sword. WHAT A FUN PAIR. Something like this would be such a cool way to reference his reliance on the Nenbutsu for Repetitive Action, too. But give that deity a glock.

I realize that a lot of this is very casually referencing motifs and hidden cultural details I've referenced elsewhere in various posts throughout this blog. I am far, far too lazy to go link those. Hopefully they're all properly tagged as "KnY Nerdery." Anyway, since you've come this far, here is an obligatory "SWORD BABY" photo because I always like photos when I get to hold tamahagane.

LOOK, A BABY SWORD, ISN'T IT BEAUTIFUL???

[you-remind-me-of-the-babe]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers (except me because obvs I have done it). Spread the self-love ❤

Aw, thank you for thinking of me. I loved reading your picks! You’re right, Ashton, self love can be challenging but I am going to give it a go.

1) Depth of Reason (71k, M)

Probably no surprise here, I’ve called it my favorite before. I put a lot into this fic. It handles a lot of complex issues and takes a different and unique look at the World of Mages while also feeling entirely plausible within that world. I also really, really love this version of Simon. I put a lot into him and at the start it may look like a story about Baz’s journey but it’s really about Simon’s journey of questioning the beliefs he has and questioning the things he’s taken for granted.

It’s also probably no surprise that this fic is a little bit of a love letter to one of my fave fics Restoration Ecology by the lovely @captain-aralias. It’s obvious how that story inspired mine (Simon POV, older Snowbaz get together, Simon works for the Coven, he goes through this journey of looking within himself, etc.)

2) How to Avoid a Scandal (43k, T)

This fic has a lot going for it and was for to write for several reasons: 1) This was a CO Reverse Bang fic, so it was inspired by art made by @xi-vz and thus got me to write something I may not have come up with in my own. 2) @xi-vz kept making art for it, and in true reverse bang fashion, it kept challenging me to write the plot in a way that incorporated what the art portrayed. Truly such a fun way to find inspiration. 3) since this was a Hollywood AU, I wrote script excerpts for the tv show the boys were acting in to bookend each chapter and to tie into/nod to what was going on in the greater story while also playing with the idea of a WoM television show I’d made up. This was kind of a nod to the Snowbaz excerpts in Fangirl and these were just generally so fun to write. 4) friends to lovers, my beloved.

Also!!! The incredible @shrekgogurt told me she was inspired by the script bookends in this fic, which led her to adding the flashback bookends to I Knew A Boy, I Knew A Man and like (!!!) can we all agree those fucking flashbacks are AMAZING and totally add so much to that fic?! I’m so happy this was able to inspire such genius.

3) Rose-Colored Glasses (7k, T)

I don’t always get the chance to reread fics once they are published but I reread this one recently and while part of me latched on to things I’d try to write better if I were writing this years later and with more experience under my belt, I still nonetheless think this fic pretty good. For one, while it wasn’t my first published fic, it was my first most widely read fic. That helped me make a lot of connections in the fandom and probably established an audience that wanted to read more of my writing. Additionally, I think this sort of established my brand. I’ve written a lot of friends to lovers and this is the touchstone of me writing that trope. It’s got a sweetness to it that permeates a lot of my writing. Also, my pfp is still the beautiful, tender, fun art from that fic that @mostlymaudlin made and so y’all get to be reminded of it all the time 😂 Also have to give a shout out to @ivelovedhimthroughworse who made a lovely Podfic of this. ♥️

4) The Rule of Three (Doesn’t Apply to You) (9k, T)

This fic was a gift fic to the lovely @facewithoutheart whose prompt requested a funny Snowbaz get together with low/no angst. It was also part of a holiday exchange and I wanted it to have at least some Christmas-y vibes without being other the top, since that’s not quite Christina’s thing. I remember feeling very intimidated by the task of trying to be funny for one of the funniest writers in this fandom. Gulp. But also, while I’ve written some fun/funny things, I appreciated the impetus to really go for it in this fic. I think it’s a fun, sweet story and quite memorable, at least to me.

5) A Prickly Disposition (1.9k, T)

This is a short fic but I’m really proud of it. I’ve really had to work at brevity and I am still surprised I could write a get together fic in under 2k. (And I wrote it in one sitting, which still feels crazy because it came out so good without a ton of hair pulling.) This fic feels longer than it is, which feels like a special kind of magic. Plus my dear friend @fatalfangirl made a Podfic of this which just is such a great listen I cannot recommend it enough.

[ilgaksu]

i will now be referring to this situation as weimargate, because i must laugh or i will dissolve into the void.

aka i have had a VERY weird experience of it in fandom lately, and it has escalated to memes in lieu of interpretative dance*, but also i want to talk about it because i think, in more general terms, it's relevant for discussion about how fandom is evolving.

(*as illustrated by @difeisheng because i am personally intimidated by photoshop. interpretative dance would've only had me to blame.)

so. hi! if you don't know me, i am an ao3 writer who goes by the pen name ilgaksu. i have 179 fics on my ao3 account, and of those, 46 of these are for DMBJ or grave robber's chronicles. i've been writing in this fandom for roughly three years, which means according to the laws of mathematics and my own inability to stop posting about my favourite blorbos, that's a new fic every 3.39 weeks. i have not counted chapter updates in this count, but given several have multiple chapters, i think we can see there's....a lot. one ongoing series is currently sitting at about 200k, word-count wise. i like to write, overall, about disability, reclamation, legacy and memory. i also overuse semi-colons.

i am also a very private person at this point in my fandom career. this will be the first post i've made in a while talking about myself where i have allowed there to be reblogs on it. this isn't intended as an affront to anyone else in fandom. my ask box is open, sans anon, and in the last few years, i chose to reply to every comment i could to make sure i still get to engage about the characters i love without compromising my own desire for privacy about my personal life. i choose to work under an explicit persona - because we all do on the internet but i have made mine obvious and enunciated and almost a brand - because i think there is something freeing about allowing myself that experience. it's allowed me to write work that i relate to deeply without having to divulge my life to be analysed by strangers on the internet. generally, i like to post my silly little stories, talk to people about them, and then go about my day offline.

anyway, so this week, i seriously considered walking away wholesale from my current fandom, and i'd actually like to talk about why, and talk about me as a person as opposed to the narrative of persona that i've crafted.

because the reality of a persona is that a real, living person is required to animate it. if i am the person who is small and human and anxious to even speak about this, then i am also the reason the operation is running. it's a one-man show. as much as i want my work to speak for itself without my need to justify its meaning or worth, without my experiences, research and choices about my time, the work would not exist. that's just fact. it's fact for every writer and artist and podficcer and person who labours out of love you see. i also deliberately consider myself a writer as opposed to a content creator, because i believe that label mimics a wider culture i have no interest in - that of someone creating a consumable, ownable object. my fanfiction is a hobby. it cannot be owned by other people. unlike my original work, where it can be bought, there is no formal, explicit contract between me and the reader. there is, however, in fandom, an implicit social contract of equality and collaboration, where we are all equals. i am fundamentally no better than someone who never writes fic and never wants to and never will. i reject the idea of superiority among fans because i do not engage in subculture to mimic the dominant culture, the one that tells me stories are something only certain people are allowed to see themselves in, or even tell to others; that production is the only means of social capital and intrinsic worth.

i am aware, also, that by being private the way i am, i end up sacrificing some experiences that i could have by being more accessible, but i want to reiterate that i have never gone out of my way to conceal my tumblr, nor ignored people who contacted me directly to talk about my fic. in fact, if you show up to talk about my fic, i will probably be so thrilled i'll never let you leave - especially since, when it comes to a majority of it - i spend a lot of time on research, something i enjoy, and deliberately cite my research in the notes because i want to share it as part of the experience of my writing. clearly, i want ideas i have come up with to be enjoyed and loved and shared, because otherwise why would i take the risk of putting them out online, where i then cannot control how they're received or transformed?

however, since about a year ago, i've maintained a policy of works based on my own that i've had outlined clearly in my profile on ao3 here:

as someone who is playing in someone else's sandbox for free myself, my only request is if when you use an idea, usually a headcanon, which is one i created, which you can as much and in whatever way you want because that is the nature of collaborative fandom and the reason i love it so much, you cite that i was the originator of the idea. and secondly, that you let me know. this is a personal request based on how writing can be a very lonely project, even in fandom. you put your work out into the world, with no sense of who it will reach and if it will mean anything to them, and you have to work on the faith that even if it doesn't, the work itself was worthwhile. but you hope it will, because everyone hopes it will.

all of this is outlining so it's understandable to people that read this how i was completely off my face bewildered when i found out a headcanon of mine had reached the level of fanon popularity where it's been mistaken for canon, and has been for over a year at the very least, and i had literally no idea this had happened.

which, frankly, was both hilarious, in a very bizarre way, and completely, deeply sucked.

i know this is my idea because of how distinctive it is, and how much it contravenes canon - namely, that a character, hei xiazi, was a medical student in berlin during the weimar republic. i know it's mine because the timeline with the canon we're told by the actual writer of the source material doesn't match up, which i was aware of and chose to retcon. it was designed and fitted to a personal interpretation of canon material i had been working on for years, and involved a lot of time and research and intense love for the era, the character, and the ways a story about being alone in a foreign country had intertwined with my own personal life. ever since i wrote it, i assumed that the one or two people who had used it with credit were the only ones who had, and because they had honoured my request i was honestly completely thrilled. i still am that those fics exist. that's because it was collaborative.

i want to be clear: nothing about the situation as it stands has been collaborative. a writer being the last to know about the commonality of their own idea in a small fandom is not collaborative. and while it might not bother everyone, it's bothered me to the point i've had serious consideration for several days about whether i should walk away from the fandom.

but ilgaksu, surely you should be flattered that people liked the idea so much?

yes. this was never about the use of the idea. it's about the way this idea has been isolated and used with an assumption that i would have no interest in knowing, or that i would even need to know. i'm not sure what has caused this - whether the persona element of my work has led people to believe i would not have any emotions about finding this out, but i am not, actually, a persona. i am the person who uses it. and as the person who uses it, this is how it felt to find this out. it felt, and still feels uncomfortable, hurtful and isolating to find out your idea has been so beloved but that nobody considered whether you would like to know. it feels like the collaborative element of fandom has been severed from you, specifically, and that your fanwork has been treated as entirely other from you as a fan. i hope nobody else making work feels like this, and i've been told this situation is so strange as to ensure that's hopefully not the case, but i think this is an ongoing issue more widely - the idea that writers are separate from fan culture, and their works are products as opposed to the shared results of a hobby.

do i think this was deliberate? not at all. do i think this was intended to be hurtful? not even in the slightest. but i want to be clear how personal this feels.

i don't have an answer for this situation. the cat is out of the bag, ilgaksu knows about the fanon, and hei xiazi is, despite all canon, going to medical school in 1920s germany. expressing my discomfort with how this has gone down feels important to me anyway, and it's also important to me that i do it in this very detailed way so that people who were unaware do not feel personally at fault, or feel like by me expressing this i am taking this idea back from them. i always wanted this idea to be loved and to be shared.

i also always hoped this idea would find people who wanted and needed a story about someone a long way from home following an ambition, and how much fear and hope and desire goes into the decision to do something like that, and what it means to be a disabled person in a foreign country, and what it means to be queer in a foreign country, and overall what it means to be a stranger in a strange land. i want to be clear that while i wrote this for me, i also wrote it for everyone who has also lived that. i want my work to feel like someone is holding your hand, not that they're at a distance and disregarding you, the reader, and the relationship we have together during the time you read my work.

i hope in future that if you use my headcanons and are aware of that being the case, you let me know. i don't have to read the work itself if you find that intimidating. i will not go out of my way to find it. whatever you've done with the idea, i will fundamentally see it as a compliment and evidence of an exchange between us as a fandom. but i want to know because otherwise, all i see is you taking something i loved and wanted to share and enjoying it with a door firmly shut between us. i am too old to care if i'm not invited to a party, but if the party is themed around a concept i put so much thought and love - for the source material, the people who were going to read it and myself - i can't help but care. it's hard to feel like a vending machine, even if the process of making the fic is so joyful for me that i won't stop until the joy is gone. it hasn't gone yet, but this week it's been dented a bit.

anyway - if you got to the end of this, thank you. please be considerate of how much this has taken for me to express, regardless of your own feelings on it, and how unusual it is for me to make a post that is able to be shared. if you use the idea in future, you do so with my blessing, which was always there. if you want primary sources, places to start, or anything like that - fashion, language, visuals - i want to be clear you can ask me and i will be beyond thrilled to help. i always have been and i'm concerned that because of this that hasn't been clear. but i also feel like if i don't state this experience in this way at this time, and how it was experienced by me, odds are i will now forever look over my shoulder and wonder if this will happen again, and i love writing for this fandom so much that i will not allow something like that to dim that love. i know you love these characters so much too - it's why you're here. i actually used to make a lot more meta posts like this, about fan culture, and i've been considering if i will again - just less personal and less anxiety-inducing to post next time. until and beyond then, i just hope we can all consider things like this in future - that i can treat you with the same grace - and understand the pressures and anxieties of writers in fandom at this point in time especially. a lot of us have hearts far more made of glass about the things we love, like our work, than can be immediately apparent.

anyway, i'm going back into hiding now.

your friendly local cryptid fanwriter,

ao3 user ilgaksu <3

[nerdy-the-artist]

Nerdy the Artist’s Metroid fanfic Spotlight!

I have read a fair few excellently written Metroid fanfics in my short time in this fandom, a lot of which gave me many ideas, as well as possible biases, that I have taken into my own fanfic. Still, with the obscene amount of nsfw fics related to Samus (no shame), finding those engrossing stories with plenty of character development, intrigue, and action is a bit of an annoying task. People have different standards of tagging things, and less tags does not necessarily mean less quality. Use to this, for your convenience, I’m going to be sharing a list of some of my favorite Metroid fanfiction stories, in no particular order.

1. Whispers from Beyond the Veil

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/56266696/chapters/142947040

Whispers from Beyond the Veil, by AlexRussoStuff, is still in its early stages, and brand new at the time of writing it. Currently, there’s only 1 chapter, but it’s a really promising one. If this fic maintains the tone and quality in this chapter, I’m all for it. It is mainly a retelling of Metroid Prime, interspersed with flashbacks from Samus’s childhood. The tone is far more brutal and gruesome than the original game, with more in the way of gore as Samus steps over the ripped apart remains of Space Pirates aboard the Orpheon. I am excited to watch this fic develop.

2. The Downfall of Ashkar Behek

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42231552/chapters/106034202

I was pointed in the direction of this fic by @molagboop due to some amazing artwork by the Chozo specialist himself. The Downfall of Ashkar Behek, by Acayl, is quite long, following much of the past of Raven Beak, known in Chozo as the titular Ashkar Behek. The story is long, detailing his past as a soldier of the Mawkin, including his maiming by Ridley, known to the Chozo as Balan dosh Nabular, translated to English: Bring to Dread. The story covers many bases in the tragedy of his downfall, and you never feel he is truly evil until he is utterly consumed by madness, and his belief in the innate responsibility of the Chozo to shepard the Galaxy. He goes from a relatively basic villain in Dread to a well fleshed out antagonist whose world view we can understand, and perhaps sympathize with. While it is very lengthy, it is a wonderful read if you have the time and patience for it.

3. Metroid S

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4156530/chapters/9378699

This fic is also incomplete (Metroid works slow, I guess), but the story is oozing with mystery and intrigue. Metroid S, written by Suribot, sees Samus Aran arrive on an icy world following a contract for a scientist’s rescue, and a separate, cryptic message telling of a Metroid’s presence in the derelict laboratories within. The plot is hard to sus out, and the mysteries hiding within are captivating. There is also a fair bit of monologues from Samus Aran about her past (did I mention this is in first person?) where we get to here about many past exploits and relationships. I still am itching to get questions answered with the next chapter. I think you’ll find yourself in the same boat.

4. Inheritance

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11560101/chapters/25965126

Remember when I said less tags doesn’t mean less quality? This is what I mean. Inheritance, by Cuofeng, was written before Dread came out, but there are many coincidental story elements that are interesting to compare and contrast between the two. The story itself is absolutely amazing, especially in the first act, but does have some problems in the third. The sense of mistrust and paranoia that the first act gives off is unrivaled, even by S. The story follows a mission set after Fusion where Samus is tasked with helping in the fight against a reinvigorated Space Pirate faction, with eyes on some advanced Chozo technology. This might be my favorite Metroid story, due to its amazing atmosphere, great personality, and shear rule of cool excellence.

I do have one major issue though: Where Morph Ball?

5. This Time

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/34383862/chapters/85563343

For those of you looking for something more lowkey and feels-y, This Time, by CuratorOfFluff, is a wonderful short fic centered around Samus’s relationship with Old Bird, who is now living on Earth by himself with Samus’s pet rabbit-squirrel, Pyonchi. The care the two have for each other is just adorable, and you can tell the author had a lot of fun with this little slice of life.

6: A Swift and Howling Darkness

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/42723552

A Swift and Howling Darkness, by Noxshade, is a very different kind of story to most, feeling right at home with Metroid Prime’s method of storytelling. This fic is in an epistolary format, meaning it is told by logs and reports, rather than outright narration. The story centers around Samus Aran, fresh off of her horrifying adventure aboard BSL, encountering a distress beacon sent from deep into the undocumented regions of space, codified as being pre-Federation in make. Driven by her innate curiosity. She decides to investigate this unusual call for help into the dark, unknown regions of the galaxy.

7: We Will Evolve

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54081529/chapters/136920130

We Will Evolve, by Thundamoo, comes hot off the heaps of Metroid Dread, using the loose plot thread of the missing Chozo ships during the escape sequence to tell a story of the X outbreak spreading beyond ZDR’s untamed wilds, and into sentient space. The horrifying idea is compounded on by the realization that what we saw of Samus’s Metroid mutations in Dread were the tip of the iceberg. Furthermore, we get to witness the arrival and spread of the X, known by the Chozo and itself as Eres, from the perspective of a civilian, caught up in the galaxy’s nightmares. The secondary protagonist is a joy to follow along, and Samus’s rage is palpable. Once again, this fic is not yet complete, but it is well worth a read thus far.

Honorable Mention: Confronting Adam (animatic)

Link: https://youtu.be/_hrU1tPZ7R8?si=bkvehOrjTVJsfOfr

This is a wonderful project by a YouTuber known as Galactic Gaming, making an animatic out of the fateful interaction between Samus and Adam where Samus brings out the goodness within the AI recreation of her former CO. The voice acting here is great, and the artwork is nice.

Well, these are some of my favs. I might make a new post with some other good ones, but I think these should be at the top of your reading list. If you have any suggestions for me, let me know in reposts or in the comments. Happy reading!