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#and I am honestly feeling so attacked right now
stormz369 · 2 days
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☕💖 Can I Get Your Number? ☕💖 Ch 3
Jason Todd x Chubby! Reader (fem)
written with a female reader in mind, first person pov, no use of Y/N, fluffy, mild angst, will probably get NSFW later, let me know if there's anything else I should tag this with!
warnings: reader character dealing with anxiety from previous chapter (non-descriptive),hinted at trauma from fatphobia, hints of Jason's self esteem and body image issues, otherwise it's fluff central
word count: 2.2k (oops? 😅)
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
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Ding!
I looked over at my phone, briefly considering not picking it up. When I got through my front door I had ripped my jeans off, suddenly hating everything touching me. I showered, scrubbing the night off until my skin was raw and tingling, and now I was curled up on my bed sheets, having a good cry. I didn't really want to talk to anyone right now…
Ding! Ding! … Ding!
God, whoever it was was insistent though … I sighed softly and picked it up, checking the messages:
Jason: Good morning! I am so sorry for the sudden disappearance - my phone broke on my way to visit my brother!  3:15am Jason: Just got back into town, so I've finally got the sim card in an old one for now. 3:17am Jason: I feel bad, I owe you a week of good mornings! 😭 3:17am Jason: And sorry for spamming you - I just didn't want you to think the worst for a second longer than necessary… 3:18am
I stared at the screen for a long while. Jason was back … just like Red Hood said. Huh… 
Me: Don't worry about it, shit happens! 3:40am Jason: … What are you still doing up?  3:41am
I briefly considered telling him everything. Maybe it would feel good to tell someone … or maybe it would feel even worse. We didn't really know each other yet, who knew how he would react? Nausea gripped my stomach and I shook my head, taking a few deep breaths before replying.
Me: Just got home is all. Picked up a late shift tonight. 3:50am Jason: That's a hell of a late shift, that must have sucked! 3:52am Me: … Yeah, honestly it wasn't great… 😔 3:53am Jason: What are you doing tomorrow? 3:54am Me: Nothing in particular, y? 3:56am Jason: That settles it then! No more excuses, come hell or high water I will see you tomorrow! 3:56am
I stared at the screen, not sure how to feel about that idea. I did want to see him again, but I also really just wanted to sleep for 48 hours straight…
Jason: Seriously, name a time and place. We'll do anything you want! 😁 3:59am Me: You don't have to do that, Jason - you just got back! Don't you need to work? 4:00am Jason: Nope! We came back a day early, so I am all yours! 4:02am Me: … All mine, huh? 😏 4:05am Jason: 100%! Anything you want, name it! 4:06am Me: … Gotham City Mall, meet in front of the bookstore at … say 4? 4:08am Jason: Perfect, see you in 12 hours! Good night 4:08am Me: Good night Jason 4:09am
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I was exhausted, but couldn't seem to sleep. I was still coming down from the anxiety and adrenaline from being attacked, and now I was also nervous and tentatively excited about seeing Jason. This was the step that usually proved someone was playing games with me. I sighed softly, sliding a hand down my soft tummy. I didn't mind the way I was shaped, but other people sure had a way of making it seem like the end of the world… I silently begged the universe; let this one be good. No more games, let it be real this time…
When I finally did sleep, my dreams were filled with red. Blood all over the pavement, staining everything. Red chrome staring me down as I cried. Large hands, so gentle against my cheeks, pulling me against a warm, broad chest…
I woke with a start and peered over at my discarded clothes in a heap from the night before. Red Hood's flannel peaked out from under my ruined pants, taunting me; I was about to go on a date and I was dreaming about another man? A man I was surely never going to see again no less? That's real healthy, well done Brain.
I stepped over the clothes on the floor, not wanting to deal with the mess left over from last night, and selected a cute but comfortable outfit. I ate a quick breakfast, spent longer than I'd care to admit on my hair and makeup, and headed downstairs to catch the bus to the mall.
My anxiety grew as I approached the front doors. It’s a trick, it must be a trick. The cold air conditioning hit me in the face, a welcome respite from the summer heat, and I made my way toward the bookstore. He's a hottie, and really sweet. Or at least knows how to play sweet. He's definitely not actually interested. I could see the sign for the bookstore on the other side of the mall. And he's a Wayne too! What could a Wayne want with me?? … Oh god, I threatened them, didn't I? I told the little one I'd stab them if they came back to the table. Why did I say that???
I blinked a bit, pausing. That was him, leaned against the wall right next to the bookstore. He had actually shown up. I watched him scroll on his phone for a minute before looking up and scanning the crowd. When his eyes landed on me I continued walking toward him. He pocketed his phone, kicked off the wall, and walked over to meet me, a little grin lighting up his face.
“You're actually here…” the words left my mouth before I could reconsider, my disbelief apparent in my tone. Jason looked a bit confused at that, awkwardly rubbing the back of his head.
“Well, yeah? … You said 4, right?”
“Sorry! Yes, I said 4. I just … I honestly wasn't sure this was … real…”
“Why wouldn't it be real?”
I blushed a bit, clearing my throat slightly; “n- never mind! Sorry, I had a weird week; my brain hasn't fully caught up.”
He nodded a little, smiling gently. “Well, I hope it's getting better at least.”
I nodded. “Yeah, it is. Thanks. … So, what should we do?”
“Like I said last night; anything you want.”
“Well, … we're right here, do you want to start at the bookstore?”
He nodded and fell into step beside me, smiling gently. I could feel his eyes on me as I walked into the store, browsing the aisles. It was odd how comfortable this was; he was a good half foot taller than me, and at least 200 pounds of pure muscle. If his arms and cheek were any gauge he was absolutely covered in old scars, and he had a bandage on one forearm so whatever gave him the scars probably wasn't confined to the past.
I should be terrified - everything about my upbringing told me this was a dangerous situation to be in. But when I saw the look in his eyes, like I was the most interesting thing in the world, all of my self-defense training fell out of my head. The voices urging me to get to safety quieted, all my instincts stilled, and there was peace. His eyes were so beautiful… 
“... Is there something on my face?” He blushed a bit, chuckling awkwardly.
I blinked, looking away. “Sorry! I wasn't staring, I just …”
“... Did you want to ask about this?” he pointed to the scar on his cheek.
“Huh? No! I have a policy of not asking people about stuff like that; you'll tell me or not on your own time. No, I just … I like your eyes is all …’’ I blushed brightly, staring at but not reading the back cover of a book.
“... My eyes?” I nodded, still pretending to read the back cover. “... You're really not going to ask about my scars?”
“Unless you want to talk about them, it's not any of my business.”
“... You're a very unusual girl.”
“Because I'm not going to pry about something you may or may not want to talk about, particularly on a first date?”
“Well, they're usually the first thing anyone wants to talk to me about. If they don't avoid me in the first place…”
I frowned a bit at that. If we met under any other circumstances, I would have taken one look at him and ducked my head to avoid an interaction. “... People suck…”
“It's not their fault; I'm intimidating…” I cautiously looked over at him. He was also staring at a book cover, a pensive little frown on his face.
“... I don't think you're intimidating.”
His eyes darted over and back to the book, and the corner of his mouth curled up ever so slightly. “... Thanks.”
I nodded, setting the book down. “.... So …”
“So? …”
“... Play a game?”
He chuckled, looking over at me. “A game?”
I nodded. “You tell me some of your favorite things in books, I'll tell you some of mine. We separate, select a few of our favorites that the other might like, and reconvene.”
“Alright. Is there a way to win this game?”
“Well I assume we'll each pick at least one book the other hasn't read, so we'll get to make each other read at least one of our favorites. That sounds like a win to me.”
He chuckled. “Alright. Meet back up at those comfy chairs in the back?”
I nodded, telling him some of my favorite tropes, genres, and settings. He did the same, and we darted in opposite directions. He beat me back there, but I eventually approached with a small stack, falling into the seat next to him.
He gestured toward my books; “ladies first.”
I tucked my feet under me, passing him each book in turn and making a case for it. He took each one, read the back cover, and listened intently. He had read one of them, and I figured he'd pick one of the others, if that, but he insisted he was going to get them all. When it was his turn, I wasn't entirely sure what to expect, but Pride and Prejudice wasn't the first thing that came to mind. 
“I've seen a few movie adaptations, but I haven't gotten around to reading it.” I smiled softly, taking the book. It was a beautiful blue cover with swirling calligraphy font in gold.
“An unparalleled tragedy - I insist this is the one you're taking home!” I giggled at his determined tone and nodded.
“Yes, sir!” I made a little mock salute, trying not to smirk at the sudden wave of pink overtaking his face. “... Well, what else do you have for me?”
He cleared his throat awkwardly, looking at the books in his hands. “Ah, um …”
One by one he passed me, Hamlet, the Three Musketeers, a book of Greek myths, and … a trashy romance?
“... Not gonna lie, this is an unexpected choice.” I read the back. It looked like your typical bodice ripper.
He chuckled, blushing a bit. “Look, it was the only book I had access to one day and I was losing my mind with boredom. But if you give it a chance, it's actually really well written, and the love interest isn't one of those creepy possessive guys the genre is known for, so …”
I nodded, taking a picture of the book covers. “I will give it a chance then!”
“... Why are you taking a picture of them?”
“... To get later? I'll start with this one, since you were so determined that I read it.” I held up Pride and Prejudice. Jason gathered up the others, putting them on his stack, then gently took Pride and Prejudice from me as well.
“Or I could just get them for you.” 
“What? Jason, no. I mean, that’s really sweet of you, but that's way too much!” Between the books he'd picked out for me and the ones I'd selected for him, he was holding at least $200 in his hands. And he'd picked the pretty hardcovers too! 
He shook his head. “I've had to cancel on you at least 5 times, and then I disappeared with no warning. You have been incredibly patient and understanding, and I will make today worth it.”
I blushed brightly, a bit surprised. “Jason, … you're worth waiting for. I enjoy talking to you, you don't have to spend money on me for today to be worth my time.”
He looked away uncomfortably, bright red, holding the stack of books to his chest. “... I … I like talking to you too … just let me do this, yeah? Call it a first date splurge.”
“... Alright, if you're sure. But I don't want you making a habit of this.”
He nodded, smiling softly. “Don't worry; I know you're a strong, independent woman.”
I nodded once, chuckling. “Damn right.”
Jason grinned, god he had an infectious grin, and led me to stand in line together. He held the stack of books in one hand, and we chatted a bit more while we waited for our turn. I was looking at a selection of little plushies in the impulse items when I felt something brush ever so slightly against my finger. I looked down; his trembling hand was next to mine, his pinky slightly extended toward me. I chuckled softly, extending mine toward him, and gently linked our fingers together. He stiffened ever so slightly before relaxing into it, gently squeezing back.
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Divider by @saradika (and my thanks for making them free to use!)
Taglist (let me know in the comments if you want to be added or dropped!)
@jawdropforkpop @krys0210 @snowy-violet @superthoughts @wordsfromshona
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yellowpamonha · 10 months
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oh my FUCKING GOD WHAT THE HELL CAMERON WHY DO YOU WANT TO GO ON A DATE WITH HIM HES YOUR DAD
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void-chara · 2 years
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first finished piece of lifesteal fanart yaayyy!! I. I started this during the second round of the mcytblr sexyman contest. Why does art take me so long. I finished most of it a while ago but the scythe just took forever because I couldn’t figure it out and kept redoing it. I think it turned out good though!
#clownpierce#mcyt#lifesteal smp#lifesteal#btw I am Ssoooo normal about lives being represented with red hearts and white stars. <- is not normal and is constantly thinking about#undertale and deltarune. I am the opposite of normal I see my little video games everywhere.#also I actually finished this a day or two ago I just couldn’t figure out what to caption it. Me when the Issues#Oh wait. Uhhh. Should I tag for blood. Probably#cw blood#That’s probably good. I’m sure it’s fine#actually technically I drew this for someone bc they voted clown in the polls. But I said Id draw anyone and they said to just draw whoever#I wanted and so I just picked a sketch id doodled a while ago. And now it’s been a while since the event. And they didn’t really even#request this piece so I’d feel weird tagging them. I’ll still send it to them tho but like I’d feel weird mentioning it in the body of the#post Since while this was technically a request it was really mostly a thing for me that someone else gave me an excuse to draw#also no ID this time I’m having a certified Written Language Learning Disorder-Austin crossover event combo attack#so I am doing these sentences ok but description sentances will Not go well probably. If someone else writes an ID I’ll credit you and add#it to the original post. Honestly even if someone writes like the script for an ID o the start of one I’d be able to elaborate on it I just#can’t start one and do it entirely myself right now#chara makes things
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i--am-ironman · 1 year
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you know you're "not doing well" when you can't manage anything more than a weak smile upon seeing sewis together again
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bitch why is youtube showing me ads for an anti-trans "documentary"
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When you show up to a masquerade with the express purpose of setting your best friend up with your nemesis's cousin, and said nemesis calls your ass out while pretending not to recognize you and then you try to play the wounded party:
"She told me, not thinking I had been myself, that  I was the prince's jester, that I was duller than a great thaw; huddling jest upon jest with such impossible conveyance upon me that I stood like a man at a mark, with a whole army shooting at me. She speaks poniards, and every word stabs" (Much Ado, 2.1.242-248).
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fandomsnfluff · 1 year
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feeling really fucking shitty, send hcs please 😭
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raeofgayshine · 1 year
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I hate it here (here is my body)
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revoltinglesbians · 2 years
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tumblr loves reusing a joke from well over a year ago and revamping it into a meme that takes over your entire dash
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pleaseshootthejester · 2 months
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I don't eat all day and then my partner takes me out for dinner and we eat fish and chips and they're greasy and now it's 3am and I've not slept and my tummy hurty and I have lots of regret
#i couldn't finish it either!#usually we get takeout and we share a mini cod and chips but he insisted we ate in cus his house has no electricity and mine has 2 cats that#will try and eat the fish#and the place we ate has a strict “NO SHARING” policy for food you eat in??#so i ate half my fish and a quarter of the chips and i was embarrassed the whole time cus when i eat out it becomes very clear to everyone#around me i have *issues*#and i was utterly mortified the whole time and it was awful and now i feel unwell#not to mention cus hes not actually moved into his new place yet cus its having work done the bathroom was FILTHY#like sticky toilet seat with god knows what dried onto it??? and filth everywhere#and another one of his friends has been staying a few nights a week whilst they work locally and HOW ARE THEY USING THAT BATHROOM???#i couldn't sit on the loo and i had a panic attack looking at the state of the bathroom like its absolutely gag worthy its so fucking gross#how can someone be showering and shitting in there and??? be okay with that??????#anyway the bathroom may have influenced how much i was able to eat i am still thinking about it now it was absolutely so fucking gross#i feel physically sick#like#i have real bad ocd mostly about contamination and getting sick#and my flat gets into some right states sometimes cus depression but the one thing i can say with pride is that my bathroom is so clean#you could eat out of my toilet it is so clean#its the one room that HAS to be clean#my kitchen is a tip (a clean tip but still a tip) but my bathroom????#its sparkling! shiny and clean and delightful and not triggering as fuck!!#and i use other peoples bathrooms and they make me feel so unwell#like SO UNWELL#the place hes living atm is another ocd household so their bathroom is very clean for similar reasons to mine#but honestly the new place??? rancid!!! awful!!!!!! i may go over with cleaning supplies at some point soon and scrub it so its not so bad#its a genuine health hazard and someone is USING IT LIKE THAT!!!!!!!!!!#sosososososooooooo gross#it needs cleaning properly#ro rambles#ocd
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gardenvarietywizard · 4 months
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"There's an essential difference between being a poet and writing poetry. There are, in a sense, two poets, the one alone writing a poem and the one in a black turtleneck and beret, trying to look sexy." -Ted Kooser
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rosemusic · 1 year
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*poking head out from under my blankets*
Hi.
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ducklover52 · 1 year
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thirty and flirty and straight up not having a good time
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delilahsturniolo · 2 months
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i miss you, i’m sorry.
written by: @delilahsturniolo
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in which: matt and his girlfriend get into a heated argument, resulting in y/n having a panic attack.
this story contains: panic attack, crying, arguing, yelling, angst, fluff.
“nothing happened in the way i wanted.”
“every corner of this house is haunted.”
____________________________________________
12:05 AM…
I was sprawled out on the living room couch, staring up at the ceiling. Matt had been gone for a while, I haven’t seen him for the day yet. I assumed he had been filming and hanging out with his brothers, but something about it bothered me. Matt had been so busy lately, everyday I would only see him when he comes back home, then he’s gone again in the morning.
The thunder outside rumbled loudly, rain clattering harshly against the roof. I sighed deeply and pulled out my phone, deciding to call Matt and see where he was.
I opened my phone and clicked call on Matt’s contact. It rang for a few seconds before he picked up. “Hello?” Matt voice came through the phone. I felt relief wash over me, knowing he was safe during the storm.
“Matt? Where are you?” I asked, concern taking over my voice. I heard Matt heavily sigh.
“Y/n, I’m at work right now baby. Me, Chris and Nick are pre-filming videos. We might also hang out with Nathan too. Everything okay?” Matt asked.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just wanted to make sure you’re okay, it’s raining pretty hard out.” I shrugged, flinching as the thunder grumbled louder.
Matt cleared his throat awkwardly. “Yep. Uh, actually..I think I’m gonna be home a little later than expected. So you’ll probably be asleep by the time I come home. Don’t wait up for me.”
I frowned upon hearing this. “Oh..okay.” I simply said in a neutral tone, feeling a little disappointed, but I didn’t show it. Matt could tell though, he always could, no matter how I tried to sugar coat my feelings, he always saw through it.
“Y/n? What’s wrong?” He questioned, I sat up on the couch, adjusting my position.
“Nothing’s wrong…it’s just that you said you were gonna come home early and we’d spend time together..it’s already midnight.” I spoke, the sadness clear in my voice.
“Fuck, I’m sorry sweetheart. I totally forgot, how about tomorrow night?” Matt suggested, a slight tone of guilt in his voice.
“Yeah, sure. We can do that.” I replied, feeling my heart sink. This was the 3rd time he’s done this.
“Thanks baby. Bye, I love you.” Matt exclaimed, his voice happier. I bit my lip, holding back all my pent up emotion. “I love you too.” I responded before hanging up, feeling sorrow in my heart. I decided to ignore it for now. I was probably being dramatic, he has a job. He has fans, people who love him.
And I have, well. Nothing. I wasn’t as successful, and lovable as he was.
“He doesn’t have time for you, get over it.”
I told myself.
2 hours later…
2:13 AM
I sat down at the kitchen table, mindlessly scrolling on my phone. I was honestly a little annoyed at Matt. Here he was, blowing off our plans once again.
I know he told me not to wait up for him, but I couldn’t help myself. I couldn’t sleep without Matt next to me, the harsh storm blowing around wasn’t helping either.
I was disheartened by the fact that I barely ever saw him anymore. He was busy 24/7. Matt was always caught up in filming, meetings, brand deals, or hanging out with his friends. All while I was alone in the house.
I was snapped out of my thoughts when I heard the front door open. Nick and Chris walked through, they hugged me and said hi before walking up to their rooms.
Matt walked through the door his keys attached to his belt loop and a cap on his head. He shut the front door, locking it. His cap was a little wet from the rain outside. I looked up, immediately meeting his gaze. He looked a little surprised to see me.
“What are you doing awake? Didn’t I say not to wait up for me?” Matt asked in confusion, he placed down his stuff on the counter.
I got up from my seat at the table and stretched my arms, yawning as I walked over to where he was. “Couldn’t sleep, the storm was keeping me awake.” I shrugged, peeking in one of the bags he placed down, it was mainly stuff for the next video.
“When you come back home tomorrow do you think we could watch a movie or something?” I suggested. Matt sighed and leaned against the counter.
“I don’t know, Y/n. I’m have some stuff to do when I come home tomorrow.” Matt grumbled. I frowned.
“What? But you said we’d spend time together?” I tucked a piece of my hair behind my ear, looking at Matt intently as I waited for an answer.
“I know, but we’re busy with the new merch drop coming soon and everything else. I can’t spend time with you 24/7, you know that right? I have other priorities.” Matt crossed his arms.
I scoffed in disbelief. “I get that, but it’s just the fact that you never spend time with me anyways! I barely even see you anymore, Matt.” I whispered the last part. Matt pushed himself off of the counter and furrowed his eyebrows at me.
“I never spend time with you? Do you hear yourself right now Y/n? I’m sorry I have a career, a life! You act so fucking clingy all the time!” Matt raised his voice slightly at me. I backed up a little.
I flinched as the thunder from outside began rumbling loudly once more, the rain pouring harder every second. I rubbed my eyes and responded to Matt.
“Clingy? You think I’m clingy? That’s bold.” I rolled my eyes. Matt ran a hand through his hair in frustration and grunted.
“Yeah. You are clingy! I can’t even do anything without you nagging me!” Matt suddenly shouted, not even letting me talk as he continued.
“You’re just so annoying. You’re being over dramatic.” He narrowed his eyes at me. I let out a shaky breath as I shouted back at him.
“I’m not being overdramatic!”
“Yeah? Really? Cause you’re acting like a fucking baby, all because I’m not giving you attention.” Matt spoke in frustration, it was clear his annoyance with me was only growing.
Tears began brimming my eyes as I stood there and let Matt go off on me, there was nothing more I could do. It felt like my airways were closing in, my hands were shaking.
Matt huffed. “I don’t understand why you’re making such a big deal out of…” I completely blocked him out. I looked down to the ground, going quiet as so many thoughts ran through my head at once.
Tears blurred my vision as my breathing picked up, my chest rising and falling rapidly. The rain only fell harder outside in the dark and gloomy sky, that wasn’t helping my anxieties at all.
Matt stopped talking, cutting himself off as he froze in a panic. His eyes searched mine frantically, hoping it was just a false alarm. Nope.
“Baby? You with me?” Matt questioned, but no answer. I breathed in and out heavily and quickly, my vision hazy and sweat coming out of my forehead. I gripped onto the kitchen counter for stability
Matt didn’t hesitate to rush over to me in 2 big strides, immediately pulling me into his arms. I sobbed into him, gasping for air.
“Shh, breathe for me sweetheart. In and out okay?” Matt reassured, he sucked in a deep breath for me to copy, I shakily let out a few deep breaths.
His hand went into my hair as he held me against his chest, Matt gently ran his fingers through my hair.
Matt soothingly whispered into my ear. “A couple more deep breaths..you’re doing so good for me y/n.”
My tears soaked Matt’s shirt but he didn’t care the slightest bit. I followed Matt’s breathing pattern, eventually stabilizing my breathing.
“It’s okay, you’re okay. I’m here…” Matt softly spoke to me, his tone completely shifting from earlier.
He ran his hands up and down my back. I let out a few more choked sobs before going completely silent.
“Are you okay now..?” Matt asked, not daring to let go of me, but he pulled away slightly to look at my face. He wiped my remaining tears with his thumb.
I nodded, brushing a piece of hair out of my face. I slowly looked up at him, it was silent for a few moments before he decided to speak up.
“God, Y/n. I’m so fucking sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, and I definitely shouldn’t have made you cry. You don’t deserve that.” Matt apologized, my gaze softened.
“It’s okay..I’m sorry for being so clingy. I understand that can be annoying, I should just lay off.” I mumbled, Matt shook his head and gently took my face in his hands.
“Baby, no. Don’t apologize for that, alright? I love when you’re clingy. I don’t think in the slightest bit it’s annoying. I was frustrated, and I said some things I’m not proud of. I’m really sorry, I love you so much pretty girl. I promise I’ll make more time for you.” Matt smiled, I smiled back at him.
“Do you want a shower? We can watch a movie after like you wanted to.” Matt suggested, caressing my cheek with his thumb.
“Actually, can we watch the movie tomorrow? I just wanna sleep after I shower.” I asked instead, Matt nodded his head.
“That’s sounds like a plan.” He agreed, suddenly picking me up bridal style and carrying me upstairs into the bathroom.
Matt helped me take off my clothes, he started the shower, making sure the water was nice and warm before I got in.
I stood in the shower, shutting my eyes and relaxing in the hot water while Matt went into our room to get me a set of clothes.
Matt knocked on the door. “Almost done in there love?” Matt asked, I mumbled a “Mhm” and shut off the water.
I wrapped a towel around myself before exiting the bathroom. I went back in our room only to see Matt cleaning it up, my side of the closet was completely tidy, the whole room actually.
“Matt..you didn’t have to do this.” I looked around the neat room, Matt shrugged.
“I wanted to. You deserve a break.”
Matt helped me change into my pajamas, after I flopped onto the bed in exhaustion, shutting my eyes.
Matt chuckled lightly before laying next to me on the bed, I laid on my side as he hugged me from behind. I relaxed at his touch, placing my hands on his.
Matt gently kissed my cheek before it went quiet, we both fell asleep and stayed in each other’s comfort for the rest of the night.
© delilahsturniolo
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AUTHORS NOTE 💌
YAYY ITS FINALLY FINISHED 🥳 let me know what u guys think! <3
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zombienarc · 2 years
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#‘b’ and I got in a pretty big fight last night. he wouldn’t consider me over and over again so I snapped and started beating on him.#He tried getting me back so I just started get more pissed and starting biting him; punching him in the face-#- I even took my phone and started smashing him in the skull with my phone because he came up behind me. He started gushing blood.#I had to pretend to care so he didn’t freak out more. Gave him advice on how to take care of it. I’ve had my hair share of hurting someone-#- enough that they bleed so I genuinely didn’t feel anything and was prepared to assist.#Idk why these people think that I’m not a good fighter. I think fast under pressure; I’m a quick draw; I’m strong.#He’s getting kicked out of the place he was staying out and it serves him right to try to attack me and talk to me the way he did.#Again.. I have to pretend to care but really I’m laughing. The universe always works in my favor. I don’t want to be angered into that-#- again. I have things to accomplish. So tonight when he started trying to blame the whole thing on me I just don’t him I’m leaving him.#He responds with ‘okay. be done.’ and I just open and don’t respond. Infact I start doing my workout routine. I’ll turn my power into-#- something that’ll benefit me.#I most certainly got my last lick in. He’s currently having symptoms of a concussion#Lines in his vision. Almost fell down from dizziness. Headache. Now he has to rehome his dogs because he’s getting kicked out.#What a shame he had to try me ‘just to see if I’ve changed.’#After he noticed I wasn’t going to try to fix things he texted me back saying ‘I hate this. I hate this.’ I replied with-#- ‘Then don’t disrespect me. If you manage that we’ll be just fine.’ Then he said okay and I have to do the same.#I agreed but honestly.. I’ll do whatever the fuck I want especially if you bring nothing to my life and shit on me. Do better. Do more.#Like I told him ‘I don’t care what others think I should do with myself.’ So he can jump off a bridge with how wrong everyone would-#- think I am. I truly do not care. That is my power. Me first. Always.#grey god#b#Don’t mind the typos.
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sordidmusings · 11 months
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Cuddling Headcanons - Straw Hats and the Three Unwise Men
A/N: Just mulling over something sweet and something to reference back to for my own use in future writings. I just wanna give all of them some love tbh I am a slut for affection
Includes! Zoro, Sanji, Nami, Luffy, Usopp, Mihawk, Buggy, and Shanks
Warnings: gn!reader, all fluff, opla leaning for the most part but I think it can fit both pretty well, an innuendo or two
Part 2 (drabbles for each character) here!
Enjoy some guided daydreams!
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Zoro
Partial touches during naps were how he started interacting with your personal space but your lap no longer belongs to you it is now his pillow 
Honestly, basically any of you is a pillow whenever he decides - I don't care if you are significantly shorter than him he will find a way to fall asleep on your shoulder 
For more contact, you need to be the one to cling to him but he does absolutely need to be touching you at least a bit 
Once he gets used to it he’ll give you a look any time you’re depriving him of his daily intake of physical affection (the sass king will always get his tribute)
He absolutely melts like a cat in the sun if you massage at any of his muscles, could be anything as much as an evening dedicated to working out every knot he has or as simple as putting intentional pressure behind your thumb as it circles and drags along his skin
He can get nervous about kissing you when it’s not on the lips - something about it feels more vulnerable to him somehow - so if he does venture to kiss your cheek or head or shoulder or hand please reassure him with a smile or your own kisses or a firm squeeze
He gets better about being seen hugging/holding you eventually, but will never get comfortable with giving more than pecks on the cheek or forehead around the others. Maaaaaaybe the corner of your lips if he’s feeling ~spicy~
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Sanji
Back hugs, back hugs, back hugs-
He’s always making sure that the two of you brush hands or arms when near each other, even after you two establish a relationship it will always give him tingles 
Likes to be very intertwined when you cuddle - if he can somehow wrap around you more then he absolutely will
He is The Best at tracing shapes gently on your skin, just like with brushing hands he never tires of it because, wow, he gets to touch you! He still can’t believe it sometimes
Very good at making you feel cherished when he holds you because of the way he always seems to take his time and ease into it and constantly caress you not to say that there’s never a time he’s hurried and ravenous 
It also helps that he’s always whispering sweet nothings to you about how wonderful you are, how beautiful and precious and lovely and kind and capable and special
When he wants to trap you while cuddling, he wraps his legs around you and uses their absurd strength for evil
He will melt if you ever do the same to him and he will happily be at your whims to cuddle until you've decided it's enough, all of you could be under attack but he is staying right where you want until you decide that he needs to move
Loooooves showering you with sweet little kisses anytime you're cuddling
He can sometimes get carried away with pda because he forgets that there’s anyone else around whoops
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Nami
She has her legs on your lap always - sometimes while she's laying/leaning back, sometimes with one leg hooked over one of yours, sometimes basically sitting on your lap
She likes to be the one that is held and feels most comfortable with her face snuggled into something (please nurture her and that scared, lonely inner child)
Enjoys brushing the tip of her nose across you, especially across your cheek or neck or the tip of your own nose
She likes to hook your arms together whether you’re standing next to each other during a convo or you’re walking or she’s sitting next to you, she just loves the casual contact and how she can use it to be playful and pull you around or use it to stay close and let others know that both of you are taken do not even think about it keep moving along dude
She’s very weak to hugs where you pick her up a few inches off the ground for a second, they send her heart racing (bonus points if you’re noticeably taller or shorter than her and do this)
She’s also weak for words of affirmation, especially when you speak them to her while you hold each other in the quiet hours of night 
For some reason literally being on your lap around others is fine but if you give her a kiss to the temple while that's happening? Suddenly it's Too Much, both in how sweet it is and also because she’s being perceived while it's happening
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Luffy
Any/all contact is being had whenever he’s with you
If he’s on the floor next to you then your calf is now his teddy bear, if you’re on the floor near him he’ll snatched your torso with his legs, if you’re sat near him he’s wrapping both arms around one of yours to snuggle it
One of his favorites is leaning your backs against each other, he feels really supported and the way you occasionally lean and twist your head back to nuzzle his or give him a quick kiss makes him smile with the utmost joy
He will carry and move you around in the strangest ways - fireman carry, one arm around your waist while you’re upside down, your knees hooked over his shoulders while the rest of you hangs down, you trying to koala to his side, one time you were curled completely around his waist like a pool floaty - no one understands why you two can’t be normal
Likes to be the one to hold you so he can fidget when he needs without feeling like he has to unlatch you first, this is especially when you two are laid down and/or going to be cuddling together for awhile
PDA doesn’t bother him at all, he doesn’t give a fuck if anyone sees you snuggled up together, doesn’t even occur to him that he should care 
His playfulness will come out often with dramatic “mwah!” kisses, nipping at you, blowing raspberries on your skin, and the occasional tickling
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Usopp
It’s necessary for him to have his arms wrapped around you some way 
Likes to be the big spoon to feel like he’s acting as armor and protecting you, it just hits the right place in his brain that has him feeling Big and Strong in the best way
He loves when you plant a kiss on his chest, especially if you aim one directly over his heart (that is totally at a normal rate plz don’t check)
He likes to play with your hair and/or massage your neck and scalp
Big into making sure wherever the two of you are cuddling is comfy, has many extra blankets and a selection of pillows by size and firmness
Always down to cuddle but feels more comfortable if you initiate first, especially when it’s a new thing between the two of you 
He simultaneously loves pda and is nervous about pda but that nervousness is absolutely gone when he’s drunk or even pretty buzzed
Good at incorporating his head into hugs - hooking his jaw on your shoulder or on top of your head, leaning his temple gently into the side of your head, bumping you softly with his forehead 
Need background noise while you go to sleep? He’s more than happy to hold you and turn on storyteller mode. Honestly, it’s one of his favorite things to do and he cherishes that time together
When it’s bedtime stories he’s telling, his voice is so low and soothing
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Mihawk
This man needs to have his hands holding something on you (your hand, your shoulder, your waist, your thigh, your back, your ass lol), 
He likes to feel wrapped around you like hes hoarding you to himself, this leads to him enjoying you laying on his chest, having all of your weight on him has him feel like he’s fully possessing you
Will definitely kiss the top of your head/your temple/your forehead/basically whatever his lips are near, not a consistent bout of them, more one deliberate peck when the need strikes him (it’s also his customary goodnight to you)
Like the other swordsman, he will give you a look if you miss a habitual touch (especially if it’s the way you usually ran a hand through his hair with a kiss to the forehead before you left the castle, that was non-negotiable it had to happen), his stare however is more the 1000 yard variety and those bright yellow eyes will bore a hole through you until you understand what you did wrong
Something about this man makes me feel his temp runs hot but not in a way that bothers him, like he doesn’t feel hot or overheated but when you touch him the difference between you two is noticeable
It’s a damn good thing that he reciprocates your physical affection, even if 70% it’s just an arm coming around you, because his stony expression makes it easy to assume that your touches are unwanted 
This type of limited response is mostly for more casual cuddling like hugs or sitting next to each other because when you’re laying together his face is always soft and he’s much greedier to be pressing into you
Okay with some pda like quick and passing touches including kisses, but not a fan of anything more intimate when others can see
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Buggy
The Chairrrrrr, as you’ve told him it’s circUS so both of you need to be on the throne (If he’s wanting to look extra powerful or intimidating you have no problem sitting at his feet and holding him like a heroine on a 70s fantasy novel)
He’s a big fan of any possessive gestures - arm around shoulders, back hugs, pulling you to wrap your arms around him, having you sit in his lap
He’s a cuddle switch for sure because sometimes he needs to hold you to remind himself that you’re his and sometimes he needs to feel held
Very fragile for gentle affection - please draw shapes on this man’s back, play with his hair and massage his scalp, give him head kisses, hand kisses, wrist kisses 
Feels like his heart will explode if you nuzzle your face into him whether its into his chest or the side of his head or good lord his pALM (He may have literally fallen apart the first time you did that and if you’re ever in the mood for some Entertainment bring it up) 
He is actually made for cuddling because if his arm is uncomfortable to lay on or starting to fall asleep? He can detach it and now it’s your stuffed animal. This can extend to literally any part of him that either of you feels is getting in the way of the perfect cuddle 
Need to feel needed? The way he’ll pull you into him and hold you like you’re going to disappear will let you know he needs you
Absolutely LIVES for pda, he gets to show you off to everyone and have your gorgeous self make him shine brighter in the spotlight? Nothing could be better
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Shanks
Sharing his space often means one of you sitting between the others legs, whether one is on the floor in front of the other’s seat or y’all are laying down together with one settled further down the bed, this often leads to you laying your head on the hip or stomach or upper thigh of the other 
He mostly likes to be on his back or stomach and pretty splayed out, so you’ve adjusted yourself to gripping to him after he’s taken over the bed
It always makes him soft to think about you always choosing to cling to him without him having to hold you there, it really drives home that he’s something you actively want
Will grope you, sometimes sexually, but he also just likes the feeling of grabbing you, it’s somewhat of a manifestation of cute aggression 
He’s a sucker for getting his neck/shoulders/upper back rubbed while cuddling (which is a pain if he’s decided to be on his back) and he is not above bargaining for it or prodding you like an indignant pet each time you stop (very good puppy eyes), this is one of his favorite perks of having you in his lap
He’s another one to not care about being seen by others but not because it hasn’t occurred to him (like Luffy) but because anyone judging him is WAY less important than getting more affection from you 
His heart gets really tender when you lay with him and massage the stump of his arm and the shoulder above it because it helps with the phantom pains when he has them, it also help with the tension from using the muscles on that side to compensate, and it reminds him how the only thing about his arm that bothers you is that it hurts him
Part 2 (drabbles) here!
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