#and I think his name is Zorro?

[cerealforkart]

look hes not technically headless all the time but buggy from one piece definitely has been beheaded before, and generally chopped up and severed in many ways. plus much like our boy Taylor once you pop his head or whatever back on hes totally chill. Also all his outfits are downright criminal and would be a treat to see recreated

This one was next in the queue when he got his body back but it's April Fool's day, so I decided to at least sketch it anyways. He can be a clown for a day! As a treat! (Hermie will be suing him for gimmick infringement)

In Taylor's opinion, this is the correct number of knives he should have at all times

[cuculine-nelipot]

I cannot believe that people are still saying things like "Izzy had internalised homophobia" or "Izzy wasn't queer coded in season one because he was the hypermasculine foil to everyone's queerness", because it's just so superficial it's shocking. Queerness does not equate to femininity, even if you're a man. You can be a gay man and still traditionally masculine. It does not mean you have internalised homophobia. It just means that you're a man who just so happens to present as traditionally masculine while also being attracted to other men. No, Izzy may not have been queer "coded" in that he's not campy, but that doesn't detract from the fact that his intense devotion to Edward (Edward - need I remind you that he says his name more than anyone else in this show) - to Edward's life, happiness, and every wish, that his sense of betrayal when Edward started shutting him out, did stem from a love he clearly knew he had, even if he didn't say it out loud.

"But he was the foil to the other characters' overt queerness!" Maybe! But that does not mean that he wasn't comfortable with his sexuality. Not everyone gay and over 50 is closeted and ashamed. The only thing "homophobic" he did was yell at Lucius and Pete for not working. I hate to break this to you, but telling people to do their jobs isn't actually homophobic. What he really was a foil to was the comedic genre. The tension between him and the other characters lies in his extreme rationality and doom's day mentality, and their whimsical certainty that everything's fine.

Also, please show me where this hypermasculity actually is. He's good at sword fighting? Okay? Watching him flick a sword around and twirling on his little fleet smacks of Manliness to you? Do you also think Zorro is the straightest man to every straight? He keeps telling people to do shit? Okay? It's his job? Only men are frustrated middle-managers? He's shouty? You're right, I've never met a shouty woman in my life! They simply must not exist, and the ones that do are butch. He wears all black? I mean ??? He's aggressive? Edward is shown, on screen, to be far more aggressive than he is and y'all will swear up and down that he's effeminate because we saw him in another man's dressing gown.

Please. For the love of God. Stop trying to understand everything as a checklist of tropes. Nothing actually works that way.

[thetarttfuldickhead]

It’s a little unclear, in the end, how the conversation gets there, because all in all the Richmond dressing room isn’t the site of that many sex jokes, not since Colin came out and no longer feels the need to make them. But they’re still lads, yeah, and young, mostly, so the jokes still happen, even if it’s just gentle ribbing, and silliness.

So: somehow, one morning halfway into Roy’s first year as head coach, the topic turns to sex, of the rougher variety. Roy’s only listening with half an ear, he’s busy sketching out the new trick plays Nate’s dreamed up on the whiteboard, and he doesn’t really catch the build-up, but when Jamie’s name is mentioned his ears perk up without him even really noticing. It’s become instinct at that point, keeping track of Jamie (even as Roy does his best to give all his players at least some semblance of equal attention).

“We know that Jamie likes it rough, though,” Zorro says, and the rest of the group oh:s and ah:s either knowingly or in surprised glee.

“Eh?” Jamie sounds startled by the assertion, but not particularly put off. (He never really is, as long as he gets attention, Roy thinks with an internal scoff that’s far fonder than he’d ever admit to.) “What makes you say that?”

“You told us!”

Out of the corner of his eye, Roy can see Jamie shake his head. “I don’t know what you’re on about, mate.” Still not bothered, but clearly not understanding what Zorro is getting at either.

Isaac throws him a disbelieving glance. “You don’t remember, bruv? It was when you first came here, before you started going out with Keeley.”

“Yeah,” Colin interjects, “You’d only been here for about two weeks, I think, but you came into training with these marks and bruises, and it turned out you’d hooked up with a girl the night before, but you hadn’t known she was a professional dominatrix before you got to her place.”

Hoots and titters at that, delighted and amused but not unkind.

“Exactly,” Zorro says. “And you told us you’d just gone with it because you have to try everything at least once, and it hadn’t been bad.”

Ah. Roy remembers now. He’d already been absolutely fed-up with Jamie’s attitude, the arrogance and selfishness and incessant need to put others down, and the striker’s total lack of shame and casual smugness about the marks had rubbed Roy entirely the wrong way. Not because people should be ashamed for liking that sort of stuff, of course (Roy wasn’t), but there was such a thing as common decency and unspoken rules about not parading around the dressing room like you were in a fucking porno or some shit and—

If Roy was honest about it, he’d mostly been pissed because it was Jamie, and everything Jaime did pissed him off back then (though, to be fair, most of what Jamie did back then was fucking shitty, so it’s not like Roy was wrong to be pissed. Most of the time).

“Oh.” Jamie’s voice is soft, suddenly. Small, in a way that has alarm bells going off like air raid sirens in Roy’s head. “Yeah. Um.”

The realisation hits Roy a second before it does the rest of the team, and his ears are already filling with a terrible ringing as the room falls silent behind him. He can feel himself grow rigid with rage, and with cold, curdling shame.

“Shit, man,” Isaac says eventually.

“Jamie, I’m so sorry.” It’s odd, the way Colin’s earnest, unhappy voice seems to be coming from so very far away.

“What?” Zorro, still not getting it, and then he does, and Roy, at a great distance, can hear his face crumpling. “Oh shit, Jamie, I didn’t mean—“

“No, don’t worry about it, man. It was a long time ago, yeah? It’s fine.” It’s a heroic attempt at sounding casual. Might have succeeded, too, back before they all knew Jamie as well as the do now.

Roy doesn’t stick around to hear the team offer their comfort and Jamie try to wave their concern away. He walks into the coaches’ office, and the only reason he doesn’t slam the door as hard as he can is because he doesn’t want to draw attention to himself. 

“You all right there, Coach?” Beard looks up at him from behind his book, brow creased in quiet assessment.

“Oh my God, what happened?” Nate jumps down from the desk he’s been perched on. “Did someone die?”

And Roy wants to tell them to fuck off. Wants to punch the wall so hard it stops his mind from spinning. But he’s been talking with Dr. Fieldstone about that, hasn’t he, how his maladaptive coping strategies are tripping him up, and fucking over the people he cares about in the process.

So he takes a deep breath. And he doesn’t look at them when he starts talking. “Back before Ted came here Jamie came in with these bruises all over his chest and back one day, and he told us he’d had sex with a fucking dominatrix. And I believed him, okay? I just… I fucking believed him, even though it was weird fucking bruises for— That’s not the fucking point. But because I thought he was an arrogant fucking prick and I fucking hated his guts, I told him— “ He trails off, looking up at the ceiling. Uselessly, his cheeks are burning. Maybe his eyes are, too, if he’d let himself feel it. “I told him I’d be happy to pay to see someone give him a trashing. Give ‘em extra if they knocked a couple of his teeth out so he’d shut up for once.”

Beard doesn’t say anything, but he leans back in his chair with a look on his face that lets Roy know that, yeah, he’d fucked that one up good and proper.  

“Oh,” Nate says. “So it was his dad who— That’s— But— I mean, that’s not good, obviously, that’s awful, but it’s… It wasn’t you who hurt him, Roy. And I mean, you and Jamie have said all sorts of thing to each other. Done all sorts of things.”

And that’s true, isn’t it. And mostly Roy is happy enough to write it off as tit-for-tat, old foolishness and bygones, Jamie a prick and Roy sometimes an idiot, and they’re both better now. And he doesn’t know how to explain to Nate and Beard how knowing that Jamie looked up to him ever since he was a kid, knowing that he never took that poster down, even after that, after everything, makes his casual cruelty and failure to protect Jamie all the harder to bear, even if he hadn’t known at the time that there was anything to protect Jamie from.

“Coach—“ Beard begins, but is interrupted by a knock on the door, and before Roy can tell whoever it is to fuck off, Jamie sticks his head into the office. Must have made his escape from the rest of the team, then. “Sorry, Coach, are we getting started or what? The lads— “ He catches sight of Roy’s face and his eyes widen. “Jesus, Roy, what happened? Are you all right, man?”

Under other circumstances, Roy might have found it remarkable how quickly and effortlessly Jamie makes the switch from Roy’s respectful star player to Roy’s friend, his entire demeanour changing as he moves into the room. As it is, Roy doesn’t say anything, but he must have made some sort of noise or moved some sort of way, because Jamie’s face twists in alarm, and then he’s across the floor and gently but firmly pulling Roy into a hug. “There, it’s all right, man, I’ve got you, lad, it’s all right.”

Roy blames all the fucking therapy he’d been doing for the past eight months for not pushing Jamie away but instead allowing the other to hold him, and allowing himself to hesitantly wrap his arms around him in turn. Fuck Nate. Fuck Beard. Fuck the team. Fuck anyone who thinks they get to have opinions on that.

He’s got an inch on Jamie, but Jamie’s broader, solid and strong. Steady, as he puts a hand on the back of Roy’s neck, murmuring nonsense that Roy knows is supposed to be soothing, and which maybe is. Mostly, it’s reassuring to have Jamie there, whole and hale and safe.

“What’s going on? Is Phoebe all right? Did something happen to your sister? Keeley?” Jamie is starting to sound a little freaked out, and Roy realises that he can’t just stand there mutely forever and let the fears grow in Jamie’s mind, he needs to fucking say something, explain.

He’d rather never say another word.

Tough fucking luck, Kent. “Do you remember what I told you when you said you’d had sex with a dominatrix?”

The way Jamie stiffens tells him that, yeah, Jamie does. “Roy—“

Roy tightens his grip, not wanting Jamie to pull away. “Don’t fucking tell me it was fine, because you were a nightmare for the rest of that day, you were absolutely fucking horrible to everyone.” Worse than usual, lashing out—not that Roy had known it at the time, or had thought it anything more than Jamie being a fucking prick for no other reason than to be a prick.  

For a few moments, Jamie doesn’t say anything. Then he lets out a long sigh, relaxing into the embrace and pressing his face against Roy’s neck. “Yeah, okay,” he mutters, “it was all shit, mate. I mean, all of it was, it wasn’t just you— But, Roy, listen… “ And now Jamie does pull back, just enough so that he can look at Roy. His eyes are tired, but the set of his jaw determined. “You fucking hated me, right? Back then, I mean. You hated me, ‘cause I was a prick, and I hated you, ‘cause you were a bitter old cunt.”

There’s no fucking denying it, is there. Roy gives a sharp nod. “Yeah, but—“

“No, let me just— I’m not saying that makes it all right, yeah, I just— You hated me, okay. But, would you have said what you said if you’d known what really happened?”

Roy’s lips twist into snarl. “What? No! Of course I wouldn’t fucking have— “ He might have ached to put Jamie’s head through a wall several times a day, but he wouldn’t have stood by for Jamie’s piece of shit father—

“See?” The little twat has the audacity to look triumphant at that, as if he’d scored a particularly neat goal. “That’s what I’m saying, yeah? Even when you hated my guts, you wouldn’t have said that, if you’d known what was going on. But you didn’t know, ‘cause I didn’t want you to, or anyone to, and I’m an amazing actor, yeah? So, like, it’s not fine, but it’s… Don’t beat yourself up over it, man. You didn’t know.”

It’s absolution, the kind Roy doesn’t think he deserves and the Jamie is far too quick to offer. But Jamie is also right: Roy hadn’t known. Wallowing in guilt won’t do anything to change the past, or help Jamie now.

“All right,” Roy says. “But that was still a shit thing to say and I wish hadn’t done it. You never deserved any of what that arsehole did to you, and if… fuck it, when I made you feel like I thought otherwise, that was my fucking bad, and I’m sorry.”

Jamie nods. “Yeah, okay. Thanks, man.” And there’s a tremulousness to his faint smile that makes Roy think that for all his claims to the contrary, it had still been something Jamie needed to hear.  

It does Roy’s fucking head in that Jamie’s been up to see his dad several times since he got word that James Tartt is in rehab. But they’ve argued about that already, bitterly, and Roy has very reluctantly admitted that it’s not his call. All he can do is offer Jamie whatever support he needs, whenever he wants it.

Clearing his throat, Roy gives Jaime an awkward pat on the shoulder before carefully extricating himself fully from the hug. “We’re still on for dinner with Keeley tonight?” He’ll make Jamie’s favourite dish, he decides. Throw in some dessert.

“Yeah, of course, yeah.”

“Good.” He jerks his head to the door. “Go on then, tell the lads to get on the pitch, and we’ll be there in a minute.”

“Yes, Coach.”

As the door shuts behind him, Roy turns on Beard and Nate who – wisely – don’t say anything.

“I don’t want to fucking talk about this,” he tells them sharply. “I don’t want you mentioning a fucking word of it ever again.” Because maybe he’s gotten to a point where having a fucking breakdown and hugging it out with Jamie in front of them isn’t the end of the world (even if it’s a near fucking thing), but if someone tries to make him discuss it, he’ll need to start head-butting people, and he’s been trying to stay off that since he became manager, because it just isn’t a good look, is it, and he’s trying to be better about that sort of thing.

Nate and Beard glance at each other. Roy doesn’t really care for the knowing look in their eyes, but they merely offer a nod and a yeah, yeah, of course, sure in reply, and that will have to do.

In this messed up world, a lot of things would have to fucking do.

“Right,” Roy says, already moving to follow Jamie. “I’ll see you on the fucking pitch.”

---

A/N: This was supposed to be the fourth of the stand alone ficlets I call The Locker Room Conversations, but it got quite a bit darker (and less team focused) than I usually do for those, so I’m not sure. I’ll sit on it for a bit, maybe fiddle a little, and see where I put it when it goes up on AO3 eventually.

If you like the idea of the team uncovering sad truths about Jamie’s past and are into heavier angst (and more of the team taking care of Jamie), I highly recommend checking out i should be the poster kid for this shit by anotherlongstoryshort / babytarttdoodoo

[stinkysam]

Buggy the Clown - You're NOT that interesting anyway.

Warning : none

Genre : fluff

Synopsis : "I was thinking a Buggy x reader where the reader in question is a bold pirate. Kinda Zorro/Robin hood type of charm. Fun to hang out with, sassy, flashy and makes everybody laugh so the moment these two met it’s Boom, here goes the dynamite. Instant crush for Buggy that is scared of those feelings while reader plays the cat and mouse game but in reality his heart his soft for that clown and his drama queen’s ass. And the more they spend time together the more Buggy knows him and realize that his past is very dark and traumatic but despite that he’s still a genuine and caring dude that just wanna have fun. Meanwhile reader gets to know a softer side of Buggy, his insecurities and to tame his temper. So the complete each other like a puzzle." - @ughsadking

Reader : gender neutral (you/yours)

He always thought crushes weren't for him, swearing it was a stupid thing and only idiots fell into it.

Yet here he was, facing you, his heart beating loudly in his chest at your smirk. Gah ! Why did it do that !?

He refuses to acknowledge it. Preferring to deny his feelings rather than to accept them.

Despite this, it doesn't stop him from feeling jealous when you make others laugh. He'll lie and say it's because he should be the one to make people laugh, not you.

He keeps chasing you away. He hates that you always come back. Always playing with his heart, making it beat so fast and loudly. Making him feel like a little girl experiencing stomach butterflies for the first time, each time. He hates it.

Yet a part of him yearns for you to not leave.

You're just so… gah ! He groans just from thinking of you. Annoying, unpleasant, not funny, not pretty, not interesting, not charming, overall not flashy at all. Here !

He's grumbling and groaning.

"...fucking [Name]... with his stupid smile… and his stupid-"

"Who ?" You lean against the table as you walk in with a smile and he screams, his limbs flying around before reattaching themselves.

"Since when do you spy on your captain !?" He yells, hands flying to point at you, poking your nose repeatedly.

"I have to listen at any time to my captain to hear all his orders." You simply say, raising your hands up in surrender and grabbing his index to push it away, a small smile on your face.

He dusts himself, trying to regain his composure and clearing his throat.

"Who were you talking about ?" You ask.

"No one. Go fetch me a beer." He said, looking away with a grimace, watching you leave to retrieve the drink. God, you made his heart jump out of his body. What the fuck. Why are you always stealthy at the worst times ?

When he finally accepts his feelings, he's very shy about them. But since you're always onto him like a fucking… a fucking… whatever, something annoying, he's scared you might find out about them, that's why he's always tense around you.

He learns most things about you through others and that's what makes him decide to know you more by himself. Though he's a bit awkward at first, he doesn't even know how happy you are to see that he's stopping to chase you away so much.

Upon hearing you have a troubled past, he tries to be nicer, not out of pity but because "You're not a fucker, actually.". Make out of that what you want.

It also breaks his heart a bit to hear what you went through but he refuses to say it or acknowledge it.

He's still very wary and cautious around you. Not wanting you to know about his feelings and laugh at him or reject him. He's very afraid of that. He doesn't know how he'll handle it. So he prefers to stare from afar, yearning silently, unaware you feel the same for him. Maybe one day his feelings will pass ?

He's quite calmer once you get to know him, he's still a drama queen and reacts quickly and easily though. But if nothing happens and things are fine then he's really chill. He's just going to whine that he's bored.

"[Name], entertain me." He says, resting lazily on his throne.

"Shouldn't it be the opposite ?" You cock an eyebrow.

"I'm the captain, I decide what makes sense and what doesn't. Entertain me."

"Okay."

He slowly learns to relax around you, but still refuses to be vulnerable. He doesn't want to be soft like some pirates he knew. But he's already soft, he just doesn't know it. Blissfully unaware.

You already have a lot of power on him though and he hates it. You could briefly mention you want to sail away and he's already preparing the Big Top for departure because he, oh, so conveniently got bored of that island.

You have all his attention and he's not a fan of it. He used to care only for treasures now it's you and treasures. He doesn't know which one to put first. Some days it's treasures and as soon as he sees you, boom, you're on top. Why do you do that ?

He thinks he's slick at hiding his feelings, but he's not. Everyone has noticed that you have his attention, and they often ask you to deliver him the bad news.

Here how it goes with someone else :

"What !?" He yells and grabs them by the collar, raising them in the air a bit. "Full of toys you say !?"

"Y- yes captain."

"You're the one that brought me that map and you couldn't tell it was a children's map !?" He begins to shake them still yelling in their face.

"I'm sorry, captain !" They yell in distress. Clearly they should've asked you to deliver the news.

Here how it goes with you :

"What !?" He yells, hands flying to grab your collar and you shrug. "The chest was full of toys !? Not even gold !?"

"Nope. Not even one Berry."

What follows is his inaudible grumbling as he stomps around angrily almost like a child throwing a tantrum. He might kick something, hurting his foot in the process.

"Here, here." You grab his hands, still on your collar, gently patting them.

At some point it's only you who's bringing the bad news and he wonders why. You're always smiling when you tell him the worst things and he thinks it's because you enjoy it. You do but it's mainly because you find it funny how the others have clocked him.

You're the captain's favorite and they know it.

Don't expect him to make the first step. He could spend his whole life yearning for you and doing nothing about it. Only drunk he might do something but as soon as he's sober he's running away. What he says when drunk is quite unintelligible anyway. Half mumbled nonsense then yelling something totally unrelated.

So when you made the first step his mind was blank.

God. God. God. God. God. God. God. Go- what the fuuuuuck. Huh ? Huh ? Huh ? Huh ?

You must mistake him with someone else. Because who could have romantic feelings for him ? Ahah.

Oh, you really mean him ?

He's blushing. Heart pounding, trying to escape. He can't move. In his mind he's doing things.

He finally reacts when you caress his cheek. He's leaning in quickly to steal a kiss from your lips. His heart is still jumping around, and for a moment, he wonders if he did the right thing because he just kissed you, and that's a big thing. But he sees your smile and calms down just a bit.

[ghouljams]

I wish to hear more about Murphy the feed store guy who is apparently getting freaked out by König paying full price

Murphy is like 70 years old and owns the feed store. The store has a name but nobody uses it because the sign is so old and the paint is so worn that everyone just calls it by the owner's name. "Murphy's" easy. The only thing that's really of note about Murphy or the store is that Murphy loves to haggle.

See every item in the store is slapped with a hilariously high price tag, so high that any farmer with half a brain would look at it and go, "Now hold on, that don't look right to me." But this is Murphy's design. Everyone in town knows that if you go to the feed store you gotta be prepared to haggle, gotta be prepared to stick to your guns and not wilt under Murphy's overgrown catapillar brows and eager grin. It's Goose's favorite part of shopping, and the rest of the 141 find out on their first trip to Murphy's what is expected and why.

One man in town has not gotten the memo. One man is trying to be polite and just pay Murphy for his wares. One man is 7 feet tall and stares Murphy down in a way that makes his stomach churn when he tells him he is happy to pay full price.

"You're sure I can't interest you in a discount?" Murphy asks hesitantly. König tips his head forward looking at the neatly notated order list and the prices. He looks back at Murphy, eyes boring holes into him, expression unreadable behind the bandana mask.

"Nein, I am sure you are asking what is fair." Murphy feels his stomach drop, is this guy trying to intimidate him? Is he trying to say something about his pricing practices? Murphy dabs his forehead with a handkerchief.

"You're a loyal customer, a discount would be-" König holds up a hand to stop him.

"You are very kind, but I am sure you need the money more than I do." Jesus christ. Murphy is starting to sweat. Is this guy trying to say the store is in disrepair? That he thinks business is bad?

"Hey buddy, you a fuckin' moron or what?" Moon asks behind König. Murphy sweats more watching König turn to face her. His eyes sweeping high and then tipping his head down to look at her. König's eyes narrow.

"Ah, hello sister." König says pleasantly, Moon stares up at him with all the patience of a woman parked next to a fire hydrant, "I did not know nuns were allowed to swear."

Murphy tries to motion for Moon to absolutely not respond to that. She blows a bubble with her gum and snaps it at König. "I'll say a Hail Mary later," she tells him, "Who are you supposed to be? Zorro?"

Murphy says a quick prayer: please dear God do not let your disciple start another fight in his store, not with this giant man.

"König, and you are?" The giant asks, tipping his head to the side, his fingers twitching too close to his holster for Murphy's liking.

"You like moonshine König?" Moon pulls a flip phone from her pocket, ignoring König's question.

"I do not know what that is."

"Fantastic." Murphy motions again, desperately, for Moon to maybe stop with the sales pitch. Just for his own health. König turns to look at him mid gesture.

"This is very rude," he tells him, mimicking the gestures Murphy had made, "we are trying to have a conversation."

"Of course," Murphy tells him, holding his hands up placatingly, "don't mind me." König nods, Moon raises a brow at Murphy. It's weird seeing him like this, he's usually so commanding. She looks up at König who is waiting patiently for her to continue their conversation.

Oh she is going to upcharge the hell out of this dumbass.

[goth-pod]

Episode 1 Repost!

Welcome to Goth-Pod! Join host Juda Boone discuss all things Gotham City. Today we dive head first into one of Gotham City's more relevant mysteries: Who is The Batman?

[goth-pod is a fictional in-universe podcast based on the DC comics universe. Juda Boone is an original fictional character, not based on any real person or known comic book character.]

Transcript under the cut

Hello everyone! Welcome to our first episode of the season. If you're new here, hi! Thank you so much for joining us here at Goth-Pod. Unfortunately we are not a gothic-lifestyle podcast, though I do understand the confusion. 

Goth-Pod is a Gotham City based podcast for all discussions of Gotham. The weird and the wild, the rogues and the rakes, the heroes and the heretics. 

You are listening today to your favorite non-binary holy heretic, Juda Boone. Yes that is my real name and yes I did pick it myself, thank you. 

For the first episode of the season I wanted to start us off with something that has been a heavily discussed topic, and therefore something comfortable for our Gotham residents. The age old question, the thing that gets people more up in arms than the moon landing- Who is The Batman?

There's this idea that almost all people have, that heroes have to have a secret identity. Which is fair. We watched things like Cinderella, or the Mask of Zorro all our lives. The idea of changing the outward appearance in order to do something one normally couldn’t.

 If you’re fighting for your life every night against some of the most dangerous people in the world, you don’t want those people to know your home address. So you don a mask, and a new persona and you do what one normally couldn't. 

But the Bat, as most Gothamites know, does not follow the normal rules we see with other heroes. Less of a mask, and more of a.. casing. Not so much a persona, but instead a state of being. 

The Bat is. Weird. That's why we love him. That's why he’s ours. 

But what if that went further? What if Batman wasn’t much of a man at all? Batman, or, The Bat, as I like to call him, is more of a.. Manifestation of Gotham. Or of the justice Gotham needs? An earth-bound spirit that haunts just as strongly as it interferes. 

You know I used to have a belief as a kid, that Monsters would just disappear when light touched them. 

Strangely, I’m not alone in this weird meta-physical belief. I actually adopted it from a good friend here at Goth-Pod. Of course, I don’t speak for everyone at the podcast and definitely not for everyone in Gotham. My uncle still texts me blog posts that try to explain the crack-pot theory that Batman is in fact, world-renowned reporter, Vikki Vale. 

But what do you think? Does the Bat have a face behind the ghostly white eyes and inhuman abilities to cling to the shadows? 

Unrelated, but did you know that Gotham is one of the only cities that has an urban bat population? Something to think about tonight. 

Thank you for joining! If you enjoy this podcast, let us know! We love to hear from our neighbors in Gotham, or if you're listening in from outside our home city. I’m Juda and you’re listening to Goth-Pod. Until next time, stay safe, Gotham.

[soleminisanction]

If Tim does have an alternate personality programmed into him, we know its trigger phrase can't be Zur-En-Arrh because he's heard or said that phrase like half-a-dozen times since Zdarsky's run started and hasn't been activated yet.

Zur-En-Arrh is Bruce's trigger phrase because it's drawn from his 8-year-old self mishearing or misremembering his father's last words, "...the sad thing is, they'd probably throw someone like Zorro in Arkham." (This is an obvious stretch -- the real reason is because he's named for and based on a one-off alien character from the Silver Age, "Tlano, the Batman of Zur-En-Arrh," but it does play interestingly with the way Zdarsky's been portraying ZEA as a unstable, entirely masked personality that Bruce 'locks away' inside of him because his 'purity' is too extreme -- his very own metaphorical "Zorro in Arkham.")

So it's possible that Tim's trigger is drawn from something similar, particularly because we know he's the only Robin who for sure heard his own father's last words -- Dick's parents were a distance away from him when they fell, and Jason's dad died well out of his sight, but Tim hearing Jack's last moments over the phone and not being able to do anything to stop it is a pretty big part of his trauma.

So maybe Tim's trigger phrase is similar mix of sounds drawn from Jack's last words to him -- "What you do is worth it. Tell Bruce to take care of you." (Ka-Uf-Oo?)

Or maybe, since Zur-En-Arrh presumably did the conditioning, they drew the trigger phrase from his mythos instead and it's something like "Tlano" or "Bat-Radia."

And that also raises the question of, what would a "Zur-En-Arrh" Robin even be? Zur-En-Arrh is repeatedly described as "Batman without Bruce," which would presumably make his equivalent "Robin without Tim." But like... what does that mean?

I don't have any answers to that question, just a whole bunch of pieces that might be clues but I have no idea what they're adding up to. It's just very interesting to think about and I want to see where they're going with this.

[dracaelus]

Hello!

Got any headcanons about Bruce and Khoa's training years that hasn't been shown in the sacred texts (a.k.a. comics when they're good)?

Feel free to ramble, I look forward to reading everything you write <3

You’re gonna make me blush, seriously. Accept this humble offering 😳🌹:

They used to exchange clothes a lot (half homoeroticism, half they just didn't care that much), so usually, when they were on good terms and traveling together, none of them bothered to pay attention to whose clothes belonged to whom, they just took whatever they liked, bitched about any piece that wasn’t to their tastes and made sure everything was packed when they left.

That made their separations a lot more embarrassing ‘cause they could either just take the first bag they saw and leave dramatically (running the risk of ending up with no underwear and no pants ‘cause they were all in the other bag) or have to stop to rearrange and separate the clothes, and THEN leave dramatically.

Can’t decide which one of them would get angry enough to just leave all the clothes, take only the equipment (the only thing they maintained separately) and go away. Probably both. And probably at the same time, leaving the clothes to be taken by their landlord/last mentor

I think they were constantly working on some project to improve the technology and equipment they had. Most often than not they would be making a competition out of it, but when they wanted to, they could work really well together, and since they didn’t have anyone else, they were the only ones they could go to when they needed help or a second opinion on something

I like to think bruce helped khoa to develop the fabric he uses on his mask to see through it even when it covers both his eyes, just bc of the angst of khoa carrying this proof of what they could accomplish together everywhere he goes

They probably stopped at all those technology fairs and stumbled upon each other accidentally more than once even when they were actively avoiding each other just because they couldn’t help being such huge nerds

Once they were in Australia and encountered one of these fellas:

and this is how khoa knows bruce is afraid of bats. <- also probably one of his fondest memories, ‘cause bruce was having the worst time of his life and he was laughing his ass off

The first time they went out to test their abilities fighting crime, khoa was already using his signature mask, but bruce (who refused the spare one khoa so magnanimously offered him) just made them stop at a random store and bought a zorro halloween mask ‘cause a) he couldn’t be bothered, b) he has a morbid sense of humor and c) he knew khoa would get pissed (on top of making fun of his name, I bet bruce also made fun of him insisting on covering his eyes with the mask for no good reason other than to look cooler).

Even when they were feeling an achillean rage towards each other, standing side by side or back to back in a room full of other people brought a sense of calmness and security to both of them, ‘cause they knew that if anything went bad in whatever situation they were in, they would be dealing with it together <3

[tossawary]

I've been thinking a lot about DCU stuff and Ace Attorney thoughts got mixed in by accident, because it's got a lot of the same themed, colorful character designs and silly pun names. So, of course, I started immediately daydreaming about a DCU-style Superhero AU for Ace Attorney. (I often do not fully control what I think about.)

And then I was like, "I think I just finally have to play Ace Attorney at this point, before I get stuck in a weird daydream loop because I don't know enough about the plot to worldbuild properly. I will let this be the final push to just start these games."

Based on my extremely limited knowledge (I have only actually played 2 episodes of the first game), here are my Superhero AU thoughts so far. I don't like 1-1 character role match-ups in general when I fuse worlds, so none of these AA characters are fully aligned with any particular DCU character.

Phoenix Wright would make a good speedster, I think. This is partially because of the spiky hair, but also because there's a terrible irony to being the fastest man in the world who keeps being too late to stop certain tragedies. It also suits the way he's apparently never properly prepared for anything but also quickly manages to pull through. He's probably still a defense attorney in his civilian identity. (In accordance with later games, he has to stop being a superhero for several years when he's framed for a crime.)

Besides Phoenix's mentor Mia, who is also both a superhero and a lawyer, ordinary civilian Larry Butz is the only person who initially knows that Phoenix has superpowers. He honestly hasn't told anyone Phoenix's secret identity! But Larry also somehow gets into more scrapes and "damsel in distress" situations than Lois Lane and he's not even an investigative reporter.

Mia Fey, Maya Fey, and Pearl Fey have a Shazam situation, I think, in which they transform into a "Mystic Champion" magically empowered by the ghosts of their ancestors. Like a Shazam & Danny Phantom fusion. Mia Fey was the first in her family to become a publicly known superhero. A lot of people don't know that it's not the original Mystic Champion (same face and same superpowered form as Mia, which breaks Phoenix's heart a little every time) until Maya or Pearl transforms back into a regular girl after the fight is over.

I think Miles Edgeworth is a Batman type hero, but one still partially ensnared by Manfred von Karma, who is his Ra's al Ghul. (This makes Franziska into Talia, but there is definitely nothing romantic there.) Maybe he does have superpowers of some kind, maybe not, and he could still potentially be a prosecutor. He doesn't have a Brucie persona, though. Phoenix is not impressed by Edgeworth's harsh and even cruel approach to vigilante work. (Steel Samurai was Miles' Gray Ghost or Zorro hero inspiration, I'm guessing.)

Gumshoe is Miles' Commissioner Gordon figure and doesn't know his secret identity yet. He's either going to learn in the middle of a really bad situation or he's just going to straight-up figure it out himself one day and scare the hell out of Miles.

I'm still thinking about characters like Kristoph and Klavier Gavin, Apollo Justice, and Trucy Wright, but I don't know enough about them to fully flesh these thoughts out yet. I think the Gavins would make good Kryptonian equivalents (a cold and calculating Superman and a rockstar Supergirl), Apollo might make a good Wonder Girl equivalent (his bracelet becomes a Lasso of Truth) as the lost son of an Amazon, and Trucy would obviously be fun as a Zatanna type of hero.

[zahri-melitor]

Look out, it's time for the Potted Fanon History of the one, the only...BRUCE WAYNE!

Bruce, 8: His parents were shot dead by [Someone/Joe Chill/the Mafia] outside the theatre in Park Row where they just saw Zorro. Kneeling in blood, pearls, etc etc.

Bruce, 8: Jim Gordon was the cop who responded to the scene and took care of Bruce.

Bruce, 8: Alfred takes custody of Bruce and they live in the Manor together.

Bruce, 12-16 (optional): Bruce attends school with people like Oliver Queen and Lex Luthor (at a boarding school), or Zatanna and Harvey Dent (at a regular Gotham school). Bruce is known as the cryptid who hides in the library reading forensic pathology textbooks in his free time.

Bruce, 16-18: Bruce finishes school and embarks on a Secret World Training Tour. Highlights of the Tour definitely involve the League of Assassins and probably several nameless monks. Bruce may have an intense homoerotic relationship with Minhkhoa Khan. The following individuals may be namechecked but are unlikely: [Shiva, David Cain, Henri Ducard, Richard Dragon]

Bruce, World Training Tour Edition: Bruce will first meet Talia at this time, and they may get married/conceive Damian. Do not look at the timeline too closely.

Bruce, early-mid 20s: returns to Gotham, is reminded that he is scared of bats. "Yes father, I will become...a Bat!"

Bruce, early-mid 20s: has encounter with An Individual (name varies, solidifying to 'Red Hood' these days as everyone's hung up on Jason) in the ACME Chemical company vats, the other person falls into the chemicals. The Joker is born hahahahahahahHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Bruce, mid 20s: meets Superman and Clark Kent, they simultaneously figure each other's identities out. Shortly after they form the Justice League with Wonder Woman.

Bruce, mid 20s: Bruce goes out for the night to see Haly's Circus when it visits town. Graysons fall, Bruce sees crying kneeling Dick Grayson and immediately imprints on him and takes him home.

Bruce, mid 20s: Dick Grayson becomes Bruce's Ward (TM). Dick also becomes Robin. They swear an Oath (TM) by candlelight to "fight together against crime and corruption and never to swerve from the path of righteousness!" (Actually I don't think the words of the oath are that well known but I couldn't help myself)

Bruce, mid 20s: has many undetailed adventures with Dick. I cannot reinforce how big a blank hole this period is.

Bruce, early 30s ish: Bruce runs into Talia and sleeps with her again (as written by people who CAN count to 10)

Bruce, 30s: Dick gets injured during a fight. Maybe with Joker, maybe with Two-Face, quite possibly with no details. Bruce tries to ground Dick for his own good. Bruce and Dick have a big fight over Dick being an adult now and you can’t tell me what to do. End result: Dick is no longer Robin and moves out (to Blüdhaven). Bruce immediately sulks.

Bruce, 30s: Batman parks his Batmobile in the middle of Crime Alley and comes back to find the tyres being jacked. The teenager attempting this then hits Batman with a tyre iron. Bruce, missing Dick yelling at him, is immediately charmed and takes Jason home and proceeds to instantly adopt him and make him Robin.

Bruce, 30s: Bruce learns about classism from Jason. Bruce Wayne, a man with the biggest charities running in Gotham, years of criminology experience and who travelled the poorest parts of the world in his quest for training, had never contemplated that poor people commit crime because they’re poor and the laws are against them. This rocks his world.

Bruce, 30s: Bruce fails to call Dick to tell him about his new adopted Jason!Robin. Dick comes over to have a screaming match with Bruce in the Manor/Cave about this. These will be a regular feature of Jason’s entire time as Robin.

Bruce, late 30s: Felipe Garzonas occurs. Bruce accuses Jason of killing Garzonas. Bruce will shortly feel intense guilt for this.

Bruce, late 30s: Jason runs away to Ethiopia and is blown by the Joker in a warehouse. Bruce arrives just out of time, to find Jason's body. He is devastated and blames both himself and Jason. He takes Jason's body back to Gotham where there is an autopsy. Joker just disappears with no trace.

Bruce, late 30s: gets more and more violent in his despair over Jason's death. Tim comes to him to explain why Batman is going off the rails and offers to be Robin.

Bruce, middle aged (don't look too closely): Bruce accepts Tim as his new Robin, however insists they are Just Coworkers. He may still be suicidal at times. He probably calls Tim 'Jason' by accident. He insists he never wants to be close to another child again.

Bruce, middle aged: Bruce comes face to face with Bane, who Breaks His Back (TM). Bruce then recovers. This is a very important moment, however any details of the recovery or who was Batman in the interim are unknown. Good job, Gotham healthcare services set up by Thomas Wayne!

Bruce, middle aged: Bruce becomes worried about Tim's parents (as he's reluctantly become attached to Tim). They are never around, which is how Tim manages to be Robin. They are definitely neglecting him. They might be abusing him! Bruce either fosters Tim because of his terrible neglectful parents OR Janet dies and Jack ends up in a coma and Bruce fosters Tim. Either way, Bruce becomes Tim's guardian.

Bruce, middle aged: there's a new crime lord in Gotham called the Red Hood. Batman must track him down. Bruce discovers that this is Jason. Jason begs for Bruce to kill the Joker to avenge his death and Bruce refuses because He Has A Code. Bruce throws a batarang at Jason's neck and slits his throat.

Bruce, JLA edition: at some point Bruce made some Protocols, or possibly some Killer Robots, just in case someone else on the Justice League goes evil. The rest of the Justice League find this out, due to this situation going wrong and the plans being activated by something. Everyone on the Justice League gets very upset with Bruce.

Bruce, middle aged: at some point Bruce adopts Dick and Tim and Cass. Details of when or where are scanty. They're his kids now. Everyone moves into the Manor (except Dick, who visits from Bludhaven every weekend to see his siblings).

Bruce, middle aged: Talia drops Damian off on the doorstep. Bruce now has a (biological) son! Unfortunately Ra's Al Ghul wants to steal his body. Damian must be protected.

Bruce, middle aged: dies. How does this happen? What are you, a cop? Fortunately Bruce being ultraprepared for anything including incipient death, he has left extensive notes about who deals with what when he's dead. Dick gets custody of Damian (but only Damian). Tim gets Wayne Enterprises.

Bruce, middle aged: returns from being lost in time (not dead). Thanks, Tim. No I will not return to being the main Batman in Gotham or take back Wayne Enterprises, it's time for me to travel the world and create Batman Incorporated in every nation on Earth!

Bruce, middle aged: eventually returns home and moves back into the Manor. Damian is now his Robin. Everyone else may still be living in the Manor, may have moved out because of Sad Conflict Drama because Tim feels like he's Just A Coworker or Cass is In Hong Kong. Dick may or may not return to Bludhaven now.

Bruce, middle aged: begins to reconcile with Jason, because he finds out about Jason's Pit Rage and trauma. Jason promises to use Rubber Bullets or to just shoot people in the knee, and says he will patrol Crime Alley because nobody else understands it and the people inside it like him. Bruce is just fine with this.

Bruce, middle aged (Damian edition): Damian dies. Bruce is extremely distraught about this due to his trauma over Jason and immediately works to hunt down a way to resurrect Damian.

Bruce, middle aged: meets Duke and seeing another teenager who is trying to fight crime, immediately brings him home to foster/adopt.

Bruce, Good Dad edition: at some point Bruce has Seen A Therapist and gotten Therapy. He is now completely au fait with the latest things you read online about complex PTSD and is sorry for the hurt he has ever caused any of his children. He goes around talking his children down from disassociation and panic attacks and nightmares. He wraps them up in weighted blankets and watches TV shows You Like with them. He has a new Ace, who is a Therapy Dog for Trauma. When someone has a bad night the entire family sleeps in his giant bed as a sleepover. He is completely focused on the mental health of his children.

Bruce, Bad Dad edition: Bruce has punched Dick/Jason/Tim/Damian (choose whichever set you want) in the face and accused them of not following orders. He has rages and demanding expectations on everyone. Multiple of his children can no longer put up with it any more. He does bad things to them and says it's for their own good.

Bruce, currently: Bruce is a Good Dad! Everyone is either living at the Manor or stays over after patrol regularly. They have regular movie nights. Bruce is actively running Wayne Enterprises. If he sees an unattached teenage vigilante anywhere he might adopt them and bring them home too! He looks after all the associated Gotham vigilantes and does not know what money is worth. This is hilarious as he tips 3000% or whatever on every purchase.

Bruce, currently (alternatively): Bruce is a Bad Dad! After failing his children nobody wants to be near him and he needs to apologise to all his children so they forgive him. Bruce has left Damian for Dick to raise all by himself (that's ok, Dick is really Damian's adoptive dad) and Tim to struggle with the pressure of being a high school dropout CEO of Wayne Enterprises. He is fighting with Jason over the One Killing Rule and won't compromise, even to kill the Joker, despite Jason desperately wanting that proof that Bruce loves him more than he loves the killing rule.

Bruce, currently: Bruce is dating one of Selina, Talia, Clark or Minhkhoa. Whichever on this list he is dating, he would never ever consider getting with Selina and/or Talia again (delete whoever necessary).

[flammingnachos]

𝑶𝒃𝒔𝒆𝒔𝒔𝒆𝒅(Zoro x fem!reader)

𝘚𝘺𝘯𝘰𝘱𝘴𝘪𝘴; Zoro can’t seem to get his fixation off a certain crew member that recently joined the pirates so what else can he do rather than confront her about the damage she’s doing to his heart.

𝘞𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨; clueless!reader

During my days of being apart of the straw hat pirates it was pretty hectic and exhausting but entirely fun

Their Captain Monkey D. Luffy had recruited me off another one of the islands that they had rescued initially, I wasn't planning on becoming a pirate but after Luffy had begged and pleaded so had some of the crew members pleaded for me to join since they needed a strategist and after seeing me give them a brilliant idea to take down the larger group of pirates that were trying to take over the island.

The captain himself had pleaded and pleaded and begged up I at least until I took up on that offer, I couldn’t say no to those big wide eyes of his they were just too irresistible

So here I am now, leaning over the railing of the ‘going merry’ as they called it and watched as the sun set and the salty sea air blow in my face pushing back my hair a bit out of my face

“My beautiful Vicky, would you care for one of my homemade drinks for someone as beautiful as you”Sanji I think that’s his name, fluttered out practically flying with his toes toward me with his hands extending with the drink he made

Aw how sweet

“Thanks, Sanji” I complimented flashing him one of my signature smiles, after that he basically fainted on the floor. Evaporating right in front of my face

“Anything for my beautiful Vicky..” he just kept muttering incoherent words to himself, the lit cigarette that was in his mouth dropped to the ground right next to him. His eyes turning into hearts

“Sanji..”I called out unsure of what to do at this moment

No response

He continued mumbling out words while pooling on the floor that was until I heard luffys voice yelling in the distance of the ship

“Sanji, I'm hungry!” he called out making his way over to where we both were at, at this Sanji angrily got up picking up his cigarette in the process and walked away muttering curse words to himself

“You’ll have to wait!” he responded in a much harsher tone

Luffy shrugged this off and continued his way towards me

“Hey Vicky” he greeted with that big ole gummy smile of his stuck on his face

“Hi Luffy” I greeted back taking a tiny sip from the drink Sanji got me, Luffy saw this and intensely eyed my drink with that stupid smile of his still on his face

“Something wrong Captain” I asked out confused

He shaked his head in response

“Nope” he popped out the ‘P’

then silence came back as he continued eyeing the drink in my hands

he wants the drink

I pushed out the drink towards Luffy’s face as he greedily snatched it and poured it down his mouth in one go

“Thank you Vicky!” He jumped up happily right then we heard some more yelling in the distance Once again

“Luffy’s you jackass, where's my juice” Nami ran out of her office with an empty glass container in her hand and speed walked toward us

“Gotta go” he giggled out speed walking the opposite direction

Nami saw this and ran towards him as she chased him down the other side of the ship

Strange Crew indeed

I shrugged this off and turned my attention back to the sunset that was now gone and nightfall had fallen upon the ship now

The breeze continued to blow in my face as I focused more on how my life has been going so far, the adventures I've been having and the new friends I've made

“Have anyone seen zoro” chopper asked roaming around the ship high and low looking for Zoro

Zorro..

This man was the finest thing on the grand line itself, it's a shame he's so ignorant and anti-social I would have tried to make a move on the guy but he was just so closed off I didn't know how he would react if I just go up to him and started a conversation

I've always had my eyes on the swordsman since the beginning from when I joined the ship, he was the only one who wasn't begging and pleading for me to join and just shrugged it off when Luffy informed him of a new crewmate

From the start, til now we haven't had a decent conversation with each other but just glances here and there, I'm too shy to just walk up to him and start talking and he's…I guess too closed off. I would occasionally pass by him here and there Working out and stuff but that's it, even during dinner we wouldn't speak to each other

Nami noticed this and always pestered me about why out of all the crew mates I hadn't spoken to Zoro yet at all, I would simply tell her to have patience and that I was waiting for him to feel comfortable enough to have an conversation with me

“Don’t let that cold facade fool you Vicky, he's nice..”

“When he wants to be” Robin chimed in one time when Nami was on her daily rants again about my relationship with Zoro

Naomi snickered at this in which I just blushed and walked off before she started all over again

𝒁𝑶𝑹𝑶

there she goes again..

Making my adrenaline rush to my ass and my heart beat ten times my normal heart rate, I don't know how to explain the way I feel about Vicky

The first time I laid eyes on her was when that Captain of ours fluffy announced that she had officially agreed to join the crew as the ships strategist

Personally, I didn't think we needed someone to make great plans for us we could have just go in and fight and go right back out and were done but boy seeing her in action really changed my mind, The Way how she just gave orders while still softly speaking it out just gave me weird things inside my stomach

Ever since she joined I've never personally spoken to her before rather than glimpses I would give to her here and there

I haven't mustered the courage to ever personally walk up to her and start a conversation but all I could do was watch that stupid cook flirt with her everyday practically drooling and having another one of his perverted seizures whenever she'd thank him or even just started a conversation with him

‘how does he do it’ I wondered

I wouldn't ever admit but Sanji had a way with the ladies that I was always secretly envious off, even when I wouldn't show it I hated the way he could just effortlessly flirt with her without getting a heartache and stammering halfway in the conversation, he would just simply let it flow through

I hated that

No matter how hard I tried and avoided her, frequently working out more than usual just to get this chick out of my mind but it simply wouldn't work and that's what pissed me off, my life was going so good before her and now that's she's here I can't seem to eat, sleep, breath, move, or even think straight without this chick crossing my mind and making me frozen

This had gone far long enough

Tonight I'm gonna confront her about this spell she's cast upon me to make me so weak in the knees, I would seriously need to tell Luffy that we might have invited a witch on board

𝑽𝑰𝑪𝑲𝒀

I yawned a bit, looking around and seeing that everyone must have gone to bed already while I was the only one up, I looked back at the ocean some more before pushing myself off the railings and heading downstairs

While doing so someone bumped into me when they were turning the corner form the gym room and basically toppled me down on the floor,

“My apologies” I looked up and it was Zoro sweating still carrying those dam three swords that nearly killed me just now

I nodded taking his hands that he had extended to help me to my feet and thanked him, turning my heel to walk back to the room when he halted my movement by holding onto my shoulders

“Can I ask you a question” he paused out

I turned my head slightly to look at him

“Yeah..”

He sucked in a deep breath of air before speaking

“Are you a witch”

This time I fully turned around and look at him in bewilderment

“You serious right now”

“You prance around here innocent and vulnerable but you think I haven't uncovered your secret yet. I have” he said

I just stared at him up and down in shock

An I dreaming now

“Zoro..” I whispered out

“You think I don’t know about your witch act!”

“you’ve put me under one of yours spells and I can’t get out, GET it the hell off me woman” He shouted

I looked over at him flabbergasted

“what spell” I mumbled out

He sighed at this

“you think I don’t know..that you put a love spell on me to force me to be in love with you!” He screamed moving up and down

“I’m not ready to be In love and it feels shitty because of all these damn insects in my stomach that won’t stop moving” He confessed in one breath

I started laughing at this cause ‘what the hell’, he quirked up his eyebrows

“What’s so funny”

“Zoro I think you like me”

The atmosphere froze

“I think your attracted to me to the point where you think I’m a witch because you’ve never felt this way about anyone before..” I explained

“by the way not a witch”

The atmosphere went quiet

“right..”He only mumbled

We didn’t say anything to each other as he scratched the back of his head while I nearly suffocated myself to not laugh my ass off in his face

“how about we go out to the deck and just talk” I breathed out walking past him as he followed behind

“ye.”

[stargazing15]

It's in his eyes

Jake Seresin x Y/N Trace

Summary: you met Jake at a masked party and got lost in his eyes, falling for him, hard. And Jake, well he was a lovesick puppy too after the party.

A/N: just look at the man's eyes, got distracted by the gif everytime I was trying to write. And that cute face

"Y/N, can you please stop talking about your zorro, I'm actually glad I was sick during the Halloween party, can we please enjoy the beach? I actually want to enjoy quality time with my little sister."

"Sorry Nat, it's just, he was so perfect, his eyes..." and you got lost again in the memory of a couple of nights ago.

You had just arrived in San Diego, following the footsteps of your bigger sister Natasha. You both had the dream to become a Naval aviator, but she was the only one achieving the dream, with your 4'11 you didn't pass the requirements. Still not wanting to bury your dream to work with planes, you became flight technician, the best one existing. So this you got transferred too to San Diego, getting reunited with your sister.

After getting settled in in your shared appartement with your sister she had a week off, starting your quality time with the annual Halloween party at the Hard Deck. Of course Nat being Nat, she got sick on her first day off, something she always had, like her body knew when it didn't need to perform.

Since it was a masked party, she still insisted you to go and have fun. Which you definitely had. Being a part of the Trace family meant the best costumes, or in this case you went as a pumpkin, a cute one. It had a little puffy orange body and the eye mask as the top of the pumpkin.

During the party you had met this Zorro by remarking he was very fake for not wearing the moustache and like that you two got talking throughout the whole night. But your breath got taking away by his piercing beautiful green eyes with this slight darker green shade on the edge. He had also had a good physique, but it were his eyes you got distracted by. Both liking the mystery, talking about everything except your names and occupation.

When you got outside and sat under the light, there was this comfortable silence between the two of you staring in each other's eyes, getting lost in them.

"I can get lost in your eyes" you had blurted out loud.

Jake's POV

"Jake can you please stop talking about your pumpkin, you should've asked her number, idiot. You know there's a big chance you're never going to see her again." Coyote complained to his friend who was whining over and over again about this girl he met a couple of days ago on the Halloween party. Hangman was normally not the type for relationships, but he has never been this head over heels for a girl.

He couldn't get her out of his head, every second was dedicated to her. She was so small compared to him, looking adorable in that cute pumpkin costume, remarking him on his incomplete costume with that sweet voice. And oh those beautiful big brown orbs. She had something said about his eyes, but he couldn't give a compliment back, he felt too lost looking at her, adoring the sight in front of him. So he let his body speak as he cupped her small face in his hands and kissed her softly. He kissed her over and over again in between talking and staring in each other's eyes until she had to leave.

"Jake? Bagman? Hello, earth speaking!" Jake snapped out of his thoughts, "man, you've got it bad." Rooster said while patting him on his back. "But did you see her complete face? Tell me you at least got her name?"

"No" Jake whispered softly "but I can recognise her eyes out of a thousand."

"Do I really have to go with you?" You nagged at your sister.

"Never thought I would say this, but I think you're in love man. Phoenix is lucky she has to miss your whining."

"Yes, stop being such a baby. You're coming with me, meet my coworkers, maybe you will work on one of their planes in the near future. Stop whining and woman up."

"Okay" you give up, Nat won this battle.

"Jake, shut up, will you!" You hear a male voice say while entering the Hard Deck.

"Didn't miss that while catching up with you," Nat whispered. "Everyone, this is my little sister, Y/N, she just transferred here, she's the best technician existing."

"Wait, there are two Traces? And there is a cute one?" Coyote remarked.

"Coyote! She's off-" before she could finish, Jake had woken up from his pity party he was throwing for himself.

"Pumpkin?" Jake had looked up at the word 'cute' and not believing his eyes that his adorable pumpkin had landed in front of him, like an angel descending from heaven.

"Zorro without the moustache?" You had recognized those beautiful green anywhere, your heartbeat rised with seeing him, felling a little bit dizzy. Within the second Jake had wrapped you in a tight hug, never wanting to let go of you. You wiggled yourself out of the needing embrace to start kissing him. You had missed him like crazy.

"Bagman? What? My sister? Y/N, no!" Both your and Jake's action leaving your sister shocked. She never guessed the sweet man you described was Hangman.

"So your sister is the love of Hangman's life, didn't see that one coming." Rooster said with a small laugh.

Jake had snapped out of the world where only you and him existed and stopped kissing, so he could tug you to your sister. "I'm going to do this the right way. Phoenix, can I take your sister out on a date?"

"What no, stay away from her! You're not gonna corrupt her!"

"Come on Phoenix, Bagman here has been sulking ever since the party. Believe us when we say that he's in love with your sister." Rooster was surprisingly defending Hangman for once.

"Phoenix, look at the bright side, your sister can learn him some manners." Bob added in Hangman's defense.

"No! Go date him yourself, I expected better from you Bob."

"Have you looked at him? Hangman has never been like this for someone, look at the lovesick puppy and look at your sister." Coyote was right, no one had seen Hangman swoon for a girl. The softness appearing in his eyes when he was talking about her, the way he was genuinely regretting letting you go that night. He would have laughed in your face when someone would've said two weeks ago he would be thinking now about buying a house with someone, going on the cheesiest dates, wanting to marry her and having kids with her. And right now he didn't want to think about anything else. If it was possible he would do it all at the same time.

"You have my permission, but don't make me regret this Hangman, she's my little sister."

"Y/N, would you like to go on an official date with me, like right now?"

"Yes, yes!" You were smiling from ear to ear.

"Nat, you said I might work on one if their planes, I guess you were right." You smirked at your sister and running off quickly with Jake to the beach.

Taglist: @mrsjaderogers , @bradleybeachbabe

"Oh my god, Y/N!"

[aragarna]

Zorro Vive

And vive bien!

So, I've finished Season 1 of the new Zorro show (available through Amazon in the US and most Spanish and Portuguese-speaking countries), and I really enjoyed it!

Without spoilers, I'd say that its main qualities are that it's fun and earnest and more cosmopolite in its retailing of the old story. It doesn't take itself too seriously, there's plenty of little homages to previous adaptations. There's many interesting and well-developed characters - of all genders and ethnicities.

It's (literally) colorful, with a comic/pulp feel that suits it well. There's been a true care brought to the action scenes, and OMG the night scenes are damn well lit. It's rare enough nowadays so points for that. Generally, the show is quite beautiful.

More spoilery thoughts under the cut.

I honestly wasn't sure what to expect from a new show. It's always hard to bring new canon to something so established and so iconic. And even though the Disney show is *not* the original canon, for a lot of people, it is.

But as a principle, same as for book adaptations or remakes, I'm not opposed to variations or changes. As long as they're good changes.

And I have to say, the vast majority of the changes in the new Zorro show, to me, were actually good changes, or necessary improvements for today's audience.

The most obvious is giving back a real voice to the Natives and not sugarcoating the colonization aspect. There's tension there. Natives are angry. But as years passed, people born there consider themselves "true Californians". Natives aren't just background characters or peons anymore. They're a driving plot force. They're shown in their own environment, with their own rites (I don't know enough about Natives of this area to know how accurate it is, but it felt a lot more authentic and respectful to me than other versions).

I do like the idea that the Zorro character comes from the Native culture, and that it's been passed on from one person to the next. Though it also brings my one big issue with the show: Diego becoming Zorro reads a lot like "a white dude steals a Native heritage." And yes, it's symbolic, and yes the fox spirit chose him, Diego didn't pick him, but still. Given that the audience is meant to support Diego (who really is a sweet guy!), that the narrative keeps showing us that Nah-Lin is wrong and should accept it, given the colonization context of that story, it's sitting a bit wrong with me.

This aside, I do like the exploration of revenge vs. justice, violence vs. a more measured response, in the face of adversity. When a few months back, the tagline "revenge is personal, justice is for all" appeared on the first poster, I wasn't sure what to think. I don't like revenge-driven characters. It's cliché and wrong. But the fact that the show precisely explored that, both with Diego and Nah-Lin, was actually quite interesting.

Diego, as I said, is a decent guy. A sweet boy really, vaguely immature originally but having to mature really fast, as the death of his father, the business of the rancho, the Zorro thing and Lolita's wedding are all dropping on him at once. Miguel Bernardeau is a clear departure from most of the previous Zorros, who were played by older actors, giving a more "adult" vibe to the character, but given he's supposed to be fresh out of college and out of his element, Bernardeau's more juvenile features fit the character well.

Nah-Lin is a lot angrier, and while in the context of the story, she's shown to be going at it the wrong way, all that anger *is* justified, and not something that can just be brushed off. Peace can't come easy when you anger people that way.

And you know who else I really liked? That damn Capitan Monasterio! Who would have thought LOL No, but seriously. Not sure why they named him that way. He was actually more of a Sergeant Garcia (or Mendoza from the 1990 show) than a Monastario. Obviously without the comic relief and cutely incompetent side of the character, but as the character who is a decent guy stuck between a rock and a hard place, serving a tyrannic boss and chasing a heroic outlaw that he may not hate that much.

I also really liked what they did with Lolita. An opinionated young lady that throws away all the corseting conventions of her time is always very relatable to me. Also, I just love her fashion sense. I wasn't sure what they were going to do with that impossible love triangle (I thought for a long time the wedding wouldn't actually happen). I wouldn't have thought they'd have Lolita figure it out, but I'm glad she did.

I'm glad they kept Bernardo, the mute confident. And I love Mei, too. The dynamic between the three of them (with Diego) is great!

Also, it's great to finally have a Spanish-speaking production, and have the characters speaking in Spanish, instead of having American actors put on fake accents.

I may have a couple of minor complains: namely that I didn't care about Samael nor Alejandro's first love. Not sure planting so early something that they're keeping for S2 is a right move. Feels like a waste of screentime. Also, I'm not particularly found of secret societies trying to rule the world, but it seems to be mandatory to any Zorro story... And the finale episode didn't actually wrap up that many plotlines - every major villain escaped! So that kinda made it look like Zorro didn't accomplish much, apart from breaking Lolita's heart, and his. But none of this prevented me from having a good time watching the show. I just really hope there'll be a S2 cause it'd be a shame to leave things there!

How about you guys? What did you think of it?

[alyssaforevermore]

Unearthed ↦ Daryl Dixon season two, part three

Synopsis: Based on the events of The Walking Dead television series, Y/N Grimes, younger sister of Rick Grimes, attempts to survive in a world now inhabited by walkers. Family has always meant everything to her, but in this new world, can she keep her family safe and together?

Show: The Walking Dead (S1-S11)

Pairing: Daryl Dixon x fem!Reader

Warnings: coarse language, violence, character deaths, drug and alcohol references, series spoilers and general The Walking Dead content warnings!

Tags: @1ivinqdeadqir1 @callmeyn @thegeorgiahuntsman @mellxander1993 @bigbaldheadname @cjmonsterwolf @abbi23323 @actuallyklee @lanxsee @livingdeadblondequeen @sweetz1919 @moonmark98 @sarahbaker2010 @ririi-3 @ryoujoking @hayley1998 @crazyunsexycool @gabriella-aesthetic @dixons-sunshine

Masterlist

You stood there, your heart pounding in your chest as the woman’s words echoed in your head; Carl’s been shot. A million questions began to flood your mind, but you couldn’t bring yourself to voice them. It felt almost as if the air had been sucked out of your lungs.

“He's still alive but you've gotta come now.” The woman continued, but Lori didn’t budge. “Rick needs you, just come!”

Lori looked back at you for a moment and without thinking, you nodded for her to go. She turned back to the woman, nodding as she climbed on the back of her horse.

“Woah!” Daryl called out. “We don’t know this girl. You can’t go with her.”

“Rick said you had others on the highway, that big traffic snarl?” The woman asked, ignoring Daryl.

Glenn nodded. “Y-Yeah.”

“Backtrack to Fairburn road. Two miles down is our farm.” The woman clutched the reins of the horse tight in her hands. “You'll see the mailbox- Name's Greene.”

With that, the woman sped off the way she’d come. You watched as her and Lori slowly disappeared through the trees and bushes. If there had been room for another on that horse, you would’ve gone with them. It had been seconds and not knowing what was going on was already killing you.

The walker that had attacked Andrea began to groan, slowly sitting up. The woman hadn’t killed it.

Daryl shook his head, shooting the walker in the head with his bow. “Shut up.”

You took a deep breath, running your hands through your hair. “Let’s keep going, it’s going to start getting dark any minute now.”

…

“Shot?” Dale asked. “What do you mean shot?”

Your group had finally made it back to the highway, reconnecting with Dale and T-Dog. Glenn was filling Dale in on what happened.

“I don’t know, Dale. I wasn’t there. All I know is this chick rode out of nowhere like Zorro on a horse and took Lori.” Glenn shook his head.

“You let her?”

“The hell was I supposed to do?” Daryl scoffed. “Rick sent her. She knew Lori and Carl’s names.”

You nodded, shifting your feet. “She told us where to find them. They have a farm not too far from here.”

“We should head there then.” Dale spoke.

“Absolutely not. We can't just leave!” Carol argued. “I won’t do it.”

“Carol, the group is split.” Dale explained. “We’re scattered and weak.”

“What if she comes back and we’re not here?”

Andrea nodded. “If Sophia found her way back and we were gone, that would be awful.”

Daryl’s eyes fell on you, your silence catching his attention. At this point, you were too tired to argue and you couldn’t see a situation where anyone won. You didn’t want to pull people away from looking for Sophia, but all you really wanted was to be with your family.

After a few moments, Daryl let out a harsh sigh. “I say tomorrow morning is soon enough to pull up stakes. Gives us a chance to rig a big sign and leave her some supplies. I’ll hold here tonight, stay with the RV.”

“If the RV is staying, I am too.” Dale spoke.

Carol smiled, her eyes swelling with tears. “Thank you. Thank you both.”

“I’m in.” Andrea spoke up.

You looked at Carol, your eyes softening. “I’m sorry, Carol. I want to help you find her, but I need to go find the farm. I need to make sure my family is okay.”

Carol nodded. “I understand.”

“I’ll stay here with the rest of you.” Glenn spoke up.

Dale shook his head. “You should go with Y/N. Take Carol’s Cherokee.”

“Why do I have to go too?” 

“Two of you is safer than one. You need to reconnect with our people and see what’s going on but most importantly, you need to get T-Dog there. His cut has gone from bad to worse.”

“What exactly does worse mean?” You asked.

“He has a very serious blood infection. Get him to the farm and see if they have any antibiotics.” Dale spoke. “If not, T-Dog will die, no joke.”

Daryl raised an eyebrow, turning to his motorcycle that was just a few steps away. “Why’d you wait until now to say anything?”

“What, do you have a secret pharmacy that we don’t know about?” You asked.

“Basically. I’ve got my brother’s stash.” Daryl began to rummage through the motorcycle, pulling out a bag. “Crystal, X— don’t need that. Got some kick ass painkillers.” Next, Daryl pulled out a prescription bottle. “Doxycycline. Not the generic stuff neither. Its first class. Merle got the clap on occasion.”

Daryl tossed the bottle to Dale, who eyed it with excitement before rushing off to give some to T-Dog.

“Mind if I take that with us?” You asked.

Daryl shook his head. “It’s not like Merle needs it anymore.”

You frowned, thinking about all the loss your group had faced in just a few short days. So many people you’d come to know, even if you didn’t like them all. Most of all, family. Merle, Amy, Sophia and now Carl had been shot. You couldn’t bear the thought of losing him.

T-Dog exited the RV with Dale’s help, who led him towards Carol’s Cherokee. Carol handed Glenn the keys, and he climbed in the driver’s seat.

“You remember what direction the farm is in? For tomorrow.” You asked.

Daryl nodded. “You still got your gun?”

“Of course.”

“Good. Be safe.”

You nodded, a partial smile creeping across your lips. “You too.”

…

“So, do we ring the doorbell?” Glenn asked as you slowly approached the farmhouse on foot. “I mean, it looks like people live here.”

“We’re past this kind of stuff, aren’t we?” T-Dog asked. “Having to be considerate.”

You shrugged in response when you heard a familiar voice.

“Did you close the gate up the road when you drove in?” Sitting on the porch in the dark was the woman you’d met earlier. 

“Uh, Hi.” Glenn choked. “Yeah, we closed it. Did the latch and everything.”

The woman nodded, leaning forward in her seat. “I never introduced myself. I’m Maggie.”

“Nice to see you again.” Glenn smiled. “We came to help. Is there anything we can do?”

Maggie’s eyes drifted to T-Dog’s arm, her smiling quickly fading.

“It’s not a bite. I cut myself pretty bad though.” T-Dog spoke.

“We’ll get it looked at and I’ll tell them you’re here.” Maggie responded, standing up.

“We have some painkillers and antibiotics. I already gave him some.” Glenn spoke. “In case Carl needs some.”

“How is Carl?” You asked. “Is he-”

“He’s alive.” Maggie assured you. “It's touch and go, but he’s hanging in.”

You smiled, nodding to yourself.

“Come on inside, I’ll get you guys something to eat.”

Maggie led you into the house and it didn’t take long for you to spot Rick and Lori. Maggie headed into the kitchen while you approached your brother.

“I’m so sorry.” You blurted out.

Rick shook his head, pulling you into a hug. “It’s okay. It's going to be okay.”

“We’re here, okay?” Glenn spoke.

T-Dog nodded. “Whatever you need.”

“Thank you.” Lori tried her best to muster a smile.

You pulled away from your brother and immediately pulled Lori into a hug. It took a few seconds for it to register for her, but Lori hugged you back just as tight.

Glenn and T-Dog headed to the kitchen while Rick and Lori led you into another room. Carl laid on the bed, motionless. The sight of blood on the sheets caught you off guard. You never could’ve imagined seeing Carl in such a position.

“If they don’t get back soon, we’re gonna have a decision to make.” An older man spoke.

“Who?”

“Shane and their man, Otis.” Lori explained. “They left to get a respirator.”

“What decision would that be?” Rick asked.

The man hesitated for a second. “Whether to operate on your boy without it.”

“You said that wouldn’t work.”

“I know.” The man nodded. “It’s extremely unlikely, but we can’t wait much longer.”

“Where did they go?” You asked. “I can go there, help them if they’re trapped.”

“We don’t need more people getting separated.” Rick responded. “Shane will be back, I know he will.”

You sat down next to Carl, grabbing his hand in yours as a tear fell down your cheek. His life was in Shane’s hands, and you weren’t sure how to feel about that after everything.

…

You’d just finished your sandwich when panicked screams began coming from the other room. You jumped from your seat, racing in to find Carl having a seizure.

“What’s happening?” Lori asked.

“It’s a seizure.” You responded as Rick reached out to hold him. “Stop! If you hold him down, you could hurt him.”

“We can’t stop it?”

The older man, who you had learned is named Hershel, shook his head. “He has to just go through it. His brain isn’t getting enough blood. His pressure is bottoming out. He needs another transfusion.”

Rick nodded. “Okay, I’m ready.”

“If I take any more out of you your body could shut down. You could go into a coma or cardiac arrest.” 

“What about me?” You asked. “We have the same blood type. I’ll do it.”

Hershel looked at Rick, who quickly nodded. You held out your arm and Hershel started the process. In no time, you were watching as blood flowed out of your arm and into the tube connecting to Carl.

“Thank you.” Rick spoke, smiling slightly.

You smiled back at him, nodding. “It’s what we do.”

“Y/N was a nurse, before the world fell.” Rick looked at Hershel.

“Do you think you can assist when the time comes?” Hershel asked. “It’ll be good to have someone else here who knows a thing or two.”

“Of course,” You responded. “Anything I can do to help.”

“I’ll get you some orange juice, keep your sugar up.” Hershel smiled, exiting the room.

“How much longer do you think we can wait for Shane?” Lori asked, her voice in a whisper.

You shook your head. “I don’t know, maybe another hour?” 

Lori placed her head in her hands. “This can’t be happening again.”

Rick looked at his wife, then at you. You could still remember sitting in the waiting room with Lori, waiting to hear news about Rick. You couldn’t believe that was just over a month ago.

The room remained silent, allowing you to get a few moments of sleep at a time. You kept waking up each time you heard any movement.

Hershel entered the room again, looking over Carl. “He’s still losing blood faster than we can replace it. With the swelling in the abdomen we can’t wait any longer or he’s just going to slip away. I need to know right now if you want me to do this, because I think your boy is out of time. You need to make a choice.”

“A choice?” Lori asked.

“A choice.” Rick responded, his eyes fixed on his wife. “You have to tell me what it is. You have to.”

Lori thought for a moment. “We do it.”

Hershel sprung into action, giving orders to anyone in the room. Carl was lifted onto a table and you stuck close by, still giving him your blood. Patricia, one of the farm hands and Otis’ wife, held Carl’s IV bag.

“You two might want to leave the room.” Hershel spoke, looking between Rick and Lori.

As the words left his mouth, the sound of a car approaching filled the room. You could see the headlights shining through the windows, bouncing off the wall behind you.

“Oh God.” Rick gasped.

Hershel looked at you and Patricia. “You two stay with him, I’ll be right back.”

Shane had arrived just in time, allowing Hershel to perform the surgery with the respirator. By the time the surgery was over, Carl’s condition had stabilized. You’d learned that Otis had died out there, Rick and Hershel breaking the news to Patricia after the surgery was over.

Carl no longer needed a transfusion, so you found yourself outside on the porch just staring up at the stars. You’d never felt so exhausted in your life, both mentally and physically. 

In that moment everything you’d been through in the last month finally began to sink in. Once the tears began to fall, they wouldn’t stop. You could barely catch your breath, clutching your chest with your hand. Sitting there in the dark, you couldn’t help but wonder if you’d made the wrong choice leaving the CDC that day.

-----

AN: Here we are with the next chapter! I hope you enjoyed this more family centric chapter and the bits of Reader x Daryl. If you did, please remember to like and reblog! Thank you <3

[allwaswell16]

A fic rec of Halloween themed One Direction fics as requested in this ask. If you enjoy the fics please leave kudos and comments for the writers! You can find my other fic recs here. Happy reading!

—Louis/Harry—

😈 knock knock, i love you by beautlouis / @thelovejandles

(E, 86k, uni) Harry and Louis get kicked out of a statistics exam for passing a knock knock joke note, and subsequently fall in love. Harry's a virgin, there's a cat, a hot cocoa date, a lot of sex, even more knock knock jokes, and everything is lovely and happy.

😈 A Twist of Fate by @perfectdagger

(T, 59k, Just My Luck Au) Louis, who apparently is the luckiest man in the world according to his friends, might have his fate and luck twisted when he crosses path with a handsome and mysterious bloke dressed up as Zorro at Syco Entertainment Press Corp’s Halloween party.

😈 love is divine by stylinsoncity / @aliensingucci

(M, 25k, witch Harry) Being a witch doesn't help when it comes to unrequited love.

😈 got me feelin' like by @levelofcharm

(E, 12k, party) Strangers, Harry and Louis, accidentally wore matching costumes, leading everyone to think they're a couple when they definitely are not.

😈 Happy HalLouWeen by SunTomato / @sun-tomato

(G, 11k, cat Louis) Harry ends up with a cat. It's wildly stubborn and has bright blue eyes. It's maybe also cute.

😈 Wasn't Looking by @berzerkshires

(M, 10k, soulmates) AU It is well known that the first time soulmates touch they leave a vivid mark on their partner’s skin. Well one morning Louis wakes up with a bright stripe across his cheekbone and no idea what happened.

😈 Rainy Days and Leaves by amomentoflove / @daggerandrose

(E, 9k, coffee shop) Louis works at a coffee shop and spells Harry's name wrong on his cups.

😈 Just Like You by Rearviewdreamer / @all-these-larrythings

(G, 7k, party) Harry had been planning his perfect costume and looking forward to wearing it all month.

😈 Fallen treats by @sweariwouldnt

(NR, 6k, trick or treating) Harry hates both Halloween and Louis Tomlinson.

😈 My Arms Are Hungry For You by @afirethatcannotdie

(T, 6k, party) the one where Harry and Louis meet at Nick Grimshaw's Halloween party and things go better than anyone could have expected.

😈 All's Well That Ends Better by graceling_in_a_suit / @graceling-in-a-suit

(G, 5k, party) Louis goes to a Halloween party as a Hobbit and finds himself a Gandalf. 

😈 Let You Lick the Lollipop by @allwaswell16

(E, 4k, party) Louis may be throwing a Halloween costume party for a lot of drunk college students, but that doesn’t mean he can’t also hand out candy to trick-or-treaters.

😈 our gentle sin by @phdmama

(E, 4k, uni) A priest and a nun walk into a bedroom.What will happen next?

😈 Cookbooks and Toothpicks and One Lizard by LadyLondonderry / @londonfoginacup

(G, 3k, witch Harry) It’s as if for 364 days they forget what his profession is entirely, and then all remember at the same moment on the morning of October 31st. Oh yeah! I have a friend who is a witch! 

😈 Messtival by @kingsofeverything

(T, 3k, teacher) Harry just wants some good candy for the school's annual fall festival, but someone buys it all before he can get any.

😈 Cat & Mouse by @jaerie

(E, 2k, secret identity) It's the one day out of the year that Harry doesn't have to hide and can be himself — at least he thought so. Louis is just a little more observant than he anticipated.

😈 Exposed by jacaranda_bloom / @jacaranda-bloom

(M, 666 words, art) Louis should really stop agreeing to do favours for his friends while drunk, especially when they result in him becoming a live-art model…

😈 A Halloween M(ass)hap by @lululawrence

(NR, 666 words, costume) He’d been so distracted by his roommate’s cleaning and fussing while he had been looking for the perfect trousers for Liam’s annual Halloween fancy dress party that he’d not realised the black leather trousers he’d chosen to complete his vampire look were arseless.

😈 Vintage Suit by @juliusschmidt

(M, 666 words, masturbation) Louis takes off his Halloween costume.

—Rare Pairs—

😈 leave my life outside (or let me in) by we_are_the_same / @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed

(M, 52k, Zayn/Liam) Halloween is the one night a year where people won’t look at them and immediately recognize them for who they are. It’s the one night a year where their horns or talons are considered to be part of a costume.

😈 wonder what it's like by eynap / @panye

(E, 4k, Niall/Shawn Mendes) Niall uses his Halloween magic to make photos of the male model he's obsessed with come to life. Instead, he accidentally summons the real-life model, Shawn, to his workroom.

[thesharktanksdriver]

Hey! Its me again! :D

I love the fact that Reader plays a ukulele to distract themselves away from their thoughts, it's wholesome oml.

*THE TOXIC GOSSIP TRAIN FLASH BLACK*

(ALSO Your post abt Zoro and reader is so funny and gives me the giggles- I love platonic one piece ITS SO UNDERRATED)

Anyways, I have a few random memes and incorrect quotes for your reader and the Determination! Series! Hope you'll like it! :)

———————

*this takes place after Zoro just joined Luffy's pirate crew and Reader is tagging along*

Luffy : Hey Zoro! I just have one question for you

Zoro : What is it Luffy? *His arms behind his head trying to nap*

Luffy : What color is an orange?

Zoro : Luffy you bonehead, the color is just the same as its name. Just like a lemon *he is proud of himself*

Reader : *questioning their decisions*

———————

Crewmate : You're smiling. What happened?

Young!Buggy : What? Can't I smile just because I feel like it?

Reader : Shanks tripped and fell down the stairs today. *Treating shanks broken nose*

Young!Shanks : *with a broken nose* >:( jerk (to Buggy)

: You lying, cheating, piece of shit!

————————

* they're eating dinner*

Reader : Can you pass the salt?

Shanks : *throws Buggy across the table*

— 🛎️ Anon!

Hi!!!!!!

Never thought I’d be getting the honour incorrect quotes for my series from someone else : D

I shall also post some as well

Nami: Every time I hear someone talking about updog, I’m torn between not wanting to fall for it and wanting to help them complete their joke.

Luffy: Okay, but what is updog?

Sanji: Updog is a long sausage in a bun, often served with ketchup, mustard, onions, and/or relish.

Ussop: No, that’s a hot dog. An updog is when a new version or patch of an application is released.

Y/n: No, that's an update. You’re thinking of the fourth largest city in Sweden.

Zoro : Surely, that’s Uppsala, where’s updog is the giant spider in Harry Potter.

Nami: That’s Aragog. Updog is a symbol conventionally used for an arbitrarily small number in analysis proofs.

Ussop: You’re thinking of epsilon. Updog is an upward-moving air current.

Zoro: No, that’s an updraft. An updog is the modern version of a henway.

Luffy: What’s a henway??

Nami: Oh, about five pounds

===

*Squad reactions to being told ‘I love you’*

Y/n and Luffy: Thanks fam!

Ussop: Oh no.

Zoro: Sounds fake, but okay.

Sanji: *A flustered mess*

Nami : Can I get a refund?

===

Ussop: Imagine if someone handed you a box full of all the things you lost throughout your life.

Zoro: It would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Y/n: Oh wow, my childhood innocence and My will to live! I haven't seen these in years.

Sanji : I knew I lost that potential somewhere.

Nami: Mental stability, my old friend!

Ussop: Jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

===

Y/n: *dies*

Luffy: Timer starts now! When are they coming back? I say two months!

Zoro: Bullshit. One month.

Ussop: Nah, half a month.

Sanji , sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Y/N JUST DIED!

Nami, scratching chin in thought: One week.

(This one is wayyy to real lol)

===

*after the Squad has been separated for a few years*

Luffy: So what have you been up to recently?

Zoro: Leading a revolution with Sanji.

Luffy: Good for you two! Me, I've joined the mob.

Zorro: *nods* Oh, how cool! That's awesome!

Luffy: I know! Anyway, have you heard from the others? Y/n ?

Zoro: Happily living as a hermit in the woods. Ussop?

Luffy: Wrongfully locked up in an asylum, which reminds me, we need to break them out later. Nami?

Zoro: Cult leader.

Luffy: Yeah, that sounds about right.