#and actually having a blast at the way he was writing Bruce's breakdown

[marsupialmenace]

Putting aside Bruce's horrific "you're the 'parents' that the family needs" dialogue (not a personal fan of that), I love that what he did to Jason was the final straw to the seeds that Zdarsky was sowing all the way back in the beginning of his run.

(There are also panels where Bruce is just wishing that his family could find the happiness he'll never have, which when put aside Gotham War where he realises he's the one causing the unrest :chefs_kiss: ugh, I'm unwell)

Panels from: Batman #129 and Batman/Catwoman: The Gotham War - Scorched Earth.

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Hiii!! I really love your tumblr posts and I'm pretty new to the Batfam (meaning I have only read fics and textposts about them, no comics) and I wanted to ask about the year Bruce/Batman gets "lost in time". I know general things of what the kids have been doing–Dick became batman and fired Tim from robin, giving it to Damian, everyone thinking Tim was crazy for believing Bruce was alive, (don't really know what Jason was up to though, was he still murderous towards Tim? Does the pit still affect him? Also I have no idea about Cass and Duke, were they introduced at this point??) Anyways, my real question was why was Bruce lost in time, what villain put him there? And how did he get out? And how long was he "dead"? Was Bruce in another reality or like just asleep the whole time? Oh! And how soon did this happen after Damian got introduced to the family–a couple months?

I'm so sorry this is so long, but I hope you answer and thank you!!

(I’m going to try and cover all my bases here by going into how exactly Bruce “died,” what went down during the Battle For the Cowl, what the Batkids did while Bruce was gone, and how Bruce came back. Hopefully it all makes sense?? We’ll see how it goes lmao.)

Part 1 - What Happened to Bruce:

So there was this event called Final Crisis (which I won’t go completely into since it would make this post a million times longer than it already is), but the bottom line is that Darkseid wants to overthrow reality and release his Anti-Life Equation, which would overthrow the whole planet and turn everyone into slaves. (If you’re interested in knowing more about the storyline, here’s a Reddit thread that explains it WAY better than I could.) 

What I CAN tell you is that during his final confrontation with Darkseid, Bruce is hit by an Omega Beam and turned into a burnt chicken nugget killed. Poor guy.

Final Crisis #6

Clark and Diana bring the body back to the Batcave and break the news to the Batfamily. Batman #687 covers a good portion of the aftermath such as Bruce’s funeral, the Batfamily grieving, and Dick coming to terms with his new responsibility of becoming Batman.

Batman #687

Part 2 - Battle For the Cowl: 

Musical chairs time, fellas! After word gets out that Batman is gone, Gotham erupts into chaos. Dick doesn’t want to take over the mantle, Tim needs Dick to take over the mantle, and Jason says “fuck it” and takes over the mantle himself because somebody around here has to. He becomes this murderous psychopathic Batman and starts taking out criminals with deadly force because someone’s gotta do the job, so it might as well be him.

Batman: Battle For the Cowl #1

(Okay honestly, this series had some pretty bad characterization overall, which sucks since it’s such an important storyline. Jason is portrayed as this violent psychopath, which...okay, he was kind of insane after the Pit and all, but not to this degree. Personally, I choose to owe the bad characterization to Bruce’s death because as much as Jason resents Bruce for all he’s done, he does still love him and losing him would be devastating, which would exacerbate his already fragile mental health. As for Damian, this happens roughly three years after his first appearance, so we can assume it’s been a few months since he first joined the family. He’s still relatively new at this point, so nobody knows how to write him yet. He ends up being depicted as if his main two personality traits are Bratty and Assassin-Child and that’s it. It’s all just a mess.)

Anyway, Tim tells Dick to become Batman and stop Jason’s reign of terror. Dick says no, so Tim follows Jason’s lead by saying “fuck it” and putting on the cowl himself. He goes to confront Jason, which ends in Jason beating the crap out of him (again) and leaving him for dead after Tim declines his offer to become Jason’s Robin. Dick goes to save Tim and ends up fighting Jason. 

Battle For the Cowl #3

Dick wins, Jason disappears, Tim is fine, and Dick finally gets his head out of his ass and becomes Batman. 

Part 3 - What Happens to Each Batkid While Bruce is “Dead”?:

Dick: 

As I said, Dick becomes the new Batman a month after Bruce’s death. He’s got big shoes to fill, and it takes some time for him to get used to his new role. He and Damian end up flipping around the classic Batman and Robin dynamic, with Batman now as the fun counterpart to Robin’s edginess. Dick, Damian, and Alfred relocate to the penthouse above the Wayne Foundation building, operating out of a secret Bat-Bunker in the basement.

Batman #688

Jason: 

After Battle For the Cowl, Jason is still batshit insane and determined to make Dick’s already stressful life even harder by becoming a supervillain with an ugly costume and an even uglier hairstyle. (I know it’s just because the artist sucked, but still. Jason is horrifying to look at during this time.) He mostly just gets on Dick’s nerves by running around Gotham with his new sidekick Scarlet and killing criminals as Batman and Robin wannabes. Eventually, Dick has Jason committed to Arkham Asylum and he hangs out there until Bruce returns.

Batman and Robin (2009) #5

Tim: 

Tim...doesn’t do great after Bruce’s death, mentally. Dick makes Damian Robin, his reasoning being that Robin is more of a sidekick and he sees Tim as his equal. By making Damian Robin, Dick hopes that it will give him the stability he needs to keep him from straying back toward the “bad” side. (It’s the right move ultimately, although his execution was pretty messed up since he didn’t discuss it with Tim beforehand, but he’s allowed to make mistakes. Dick’s father just died and now he’s in charge of picking up the pieces of their broken family. It’s a lot to handle.) 

Long story short, Tim has a breakdown, realizes that Bruce is alive, dons the Red Robin identity, and cuts ties with his family to travel the world in search of proof. It’s a rough time. 

Red Robin #1

Damian: 

Our little guy becomes Robin! So proud of him! As I explained earlier, Dick makes Damian his Robin with the assumption that it will keep him out of trouble, and he’s right on that account. He mentors Damian, teaching him how to channel his violent instincts into something productive, and it works! Slowly but surely, Damian makes the transition from bratty assassin to actual hero!

Batman and Robin (2009) #22

Cass:

Duke sadly was not introduced at this point in time, so he missed out on all the pandemonium. Cass, however, has been Batgirl for years by now, but she got kind of pushed aside by the writers after Bruce’s death. Bruce disappears shortly after adopting Cass, but once he was “dead,” the writers sort of moved Cass around for a while, not quite knowing what to do with her. First she was with the Outsiders. Then they got disbanded and Cass tried forming a new network of heroes to take over for Batman if needed. Then she helped out in said network during Battle for the Cowl, taking care of a newly ravaged Gotham. Then Cass gave the Batgirl mantle to Stephanie Brown after she became disillusioned with the role, thanks to the loss of her father and mentor. Then Cass picked up and moved to Hong Kong to “follow Bruce’s plans” by continuing whatever work he had set up for her there. It was all very vague and confusing, and Cass more or less got swept under the rug during this time. Thanks, writers.

Batgirl (2009) #1

Part 4 - How Bruce Came Back: 

When the Blackest Night storyline happens, the Justice League realizes that the corpse buried under Bruce’s grave is apparently not the real one and that he’s actually alive out there somewhere! How wild is that! This is further proven by Dick after he places Bruce’s body in a Lazarus Pit to revive, which has the same result because it’s very clearly Not Bruce and they should have listened to Tim from the start.

Batman and Robin (2009) #9

Anyway, what actually happened is that the Omega Beams that Darkseid shot at Bruce didn’t kill him, but rather blasted him back through time to the prehistoric era with his memories wiped. The Omega Energy inside of Bruce ends up catapulting him through various time periods, which is all part of Darkseid’s plan. With each time-hop, Bruce builds up more Omega Energy in his body which, when he gets back to his original time period, will be unleashed and destroy everything.

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #5

It’s been a little under two years since Final Crisis, though in-universe it’s uncertain exactly how long Bruce has been “dead.” We can assume it’s been a year, give or take. The way he comes back is too scientific and complicated for me to understand, so uhhhh the bottom line is that Tim and a few Leaguers save Bruce at the Vanishing Point and the day is saved! Hooray! 

Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne #6

(If you want to read about how it actually goes down, then I seriously recommend reading Batman: The Return of Bruce Wayne. It’s only six issues, so it’s a quick read and it explains the situation far better than I ever could.)

Bruce eventually reunites with his family after spying on them for a period of time as Insider to see what has changed in his absence:

Bruce Wayne: The Road Home

After that, things quickly settle back into their new normal. Dick and Damian stay on as Batman and Robin. Bruce goes back to being Batman as well, with him handling Batman Incorporated business and Dick continuing as Gotham’s defender. Tim keeps the Red Robin outfit, Steph stays on as Batgirl, and Cass becomes Black Bat. Jason stays in Arkham for a while before filing an appeal to be moved to a regular prison. He kills 82 inmates in less than a week and gets transferred back to Arkham, which he promptly escapes from. It’s a ride, I tell ya.

Aaaaand that’s about it! I hope this answered all of your questions!

[worstloki]

Loki is 14 au maker here, Loki actually looks 14. Like he's an actual kid here. My idea is during Thor 1 Loki still gets put in charge, and the warriors 4 are trying to get Thor back bc Loki said he didn't know how and he doesn't want the throne at all. Loki finds it easier to tell the warriors 4 about it bc they aren't family and they trust Thor.

My hc is that the destroyer sometimes acts of its own will, in response to the current kings emotions. So loki is terrified bc he just found out he's a jotunn and thinks thor is gonna kill him. The destroyer comes out automatically to destroy the threat.

Loki doesn't bring laufey in to asgard but the jotunns use the path they were originally showed to get in. Loki had gone to try diplomacy but laufey attacked him, heimdall brought Loki back and Loki had a breakdown.

Loki got back to the palace just in time to kill laufey and the jotunns that got in. Frigga gives him a hug but Thor is back. Thor thinks Loki planned all this and Loki sees him so angry that he runs. He tells heimdall to go and he sets the bifrist on jotunnheim, bc hes 14 and running on fear and adrenaline.

The birds is still broken and Loki still falls but instead of odin saying No Loki, Thor says "you didn't have to prove yourself loki" Loki gets teary and still lets go.

Thanos still finds him and tortures him, but he tries to make loki on of the black order. It doesn't work, but loki still is sent to earth. Loki puts on an illusion to make himself look older, and that works until he passes out in the back off the truck Clint and Selvig are driving away from the pegasus facility.

Loki doesnt even kill anyone, he just uses a spell to knock people unconscious.

Things go similarly, with Loki in Germany. Except Loki looks like a kid bc he can't keep the illusion up. Cap calls him kiddo and Tony does flip. "Youre a kid?" "Im over 1000 years old" "still a kid"

The avengers grab him and take him on the ship, but Thor barges in and grabs Loki. Thor immediately asks if he's ok, bc Thor does care abt Loki. Loki doesn't answer. Thor asks about the tesseract and what he's doing. Loki says he can't say. Thor tells him to come home. Loki says he doesn't have one. The great "im listening " line still happens bc its a crime to not have that.

Oh boy this is getting long, but things go the same up until Tony talks to him. Tony offers him a drink then is like Wait ur a kid nvm. Loki rolls his eyes and asks what Tony wants. Tony just wants to talk and asks him if he's doing this by himself, in a way that's very vague. Loki says he's not doing this bc he wants to, in a very extremely vague way.

Tony nods, and loki uses the sceptre to mind control him, but it doesn't work. Loki is confused and Tony makes a dirty joke, Loki grabs him and goes to throw him out the window, but Tony is. Taller than him and its hard to throw someone taller than you. He pushes him away and he falls through the window.

Loki gets thrown around by the hulk still, but instead of being imprisoned, Tony explains what he found out. Thor understands and leaves Loki in the avengers care while he talks with odin abt it. The avengers are a bit on edge for a lil but loki gets therapy.

Loki is brought back to asgard where he is held in the dungeons for a while until they can get his head checked out. Frigga does some magics and slowly gets Thanos' hooks out, Loki gets even more therapy, yay.

Thor TDW happens similarly, but loki isn't in jail. He's in his room, but his room is being guarded and he isn't allowed anywhere without an escort. Loki is v grumpy abt it. Loki sneaks out and is the one who finds frigga dead. Loki is allowed to go to the funeral and then he trashes his room in anguish. Thor talks to him and tells him to help.

Loki doesnt get slapped by Jane, but the warriors 4 still threaten him. Loki still gets impaled on svartalfheim, but like for real. His magic heals him enough for no death. He decides to leave entirely, and he goes to earth. He visits Bruce, who freaks out bc Loki is Bleeding, and loki stays with the avengers for a while. Thor comes back for age of ultron, Loki is there. A sappy Reunion. Happy ending? I need to work on this more fhbcvnnv

Sorry for the absolute word dump vhgvbnb

anon i insist you write this out as an actual fic because this would make a very nice AU and I can see Cap landing 1 solid hit to the face and the illusion just collapses and he’s like “????? wtf?????” and then Tony comes in and blasts the kid while Steve freaks out 

[mollyamory-again]

And then I wrote a really long reaction post for Endgame...

Here’s the short form:  <3 <3 <3... ??  @#(*$A)(@#*!?! <3.....<3 ....?<3? <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 !!!

The super long form is below the cut...

So, I went into this movie with a lot of feelings, and I came out with a lot of feelings, and it's taking me some time to process them.

The first, and maybe the most important thing I want to say, is that regardless of my personal fannish/emotional reaction to some of the events -- the film itself was an absolute triumph.  I mean - it was amazing.  There were a great many things to love - and that is a list that includes some things I hated.  Love/hated.  Both!  The fact that they could bring a series of films that spans over a decade together in a way that had people laughing and crying in the theatres, often both at the same time - it's just truly, truly awesome.  It says something that they were able to build these real and true characters who feel important enough that their fates can actually break our hearts.  

So I applaud that, and I hope the film industry takes a good long look at these films and learns from them.  Audiences are willing to wait for the pay-off, we're willing to tackle difficult things, we're willing to fall in love with what we see on the screen if the writers and producers and directors put the effort into allowing it.

That said...

I really liked this movie overall, but I went into it really wanting two specific things for myself, and I didn't get them.  In fact I kind of got the opposite of them, and a lot of my coming to terms with the movie has been coming to terms with just... not getting what I wanted.  And finding a way to be okay with that.  

I wanted Tony to live - and if you're back here behind my spoiler cut, you know I didn't get that one.  It was really hard to lose him.  He was my favorite character in this whole crazy cast. I loved that he could be so wrong sometimes, and with so much utter conviction.  I loved that he could be terrified out of his mind and then just do the terrifying things anyway, because somebody had to, and he could.  I loved how smart he was, and how vulnerable he was, and how he built walls of words to defend himself and define himself.  I loved how hard he loved the people that HE loved, and how much he was willing to do for them.  I loved how great he was with kids (and I love that he got one of his own!) and I love how that seemed at least in part because he never finished growing up himself.

So while I am wrecked that this is the end of Tony in this particular strand of the comics universe, I can't deny that it is 100% true to who he was. He was always going to be the guy who would do this, if it needed to be done.  And it did, so he did it, and it broke my heart - but in the end I have to be okay with it, because yeah.  That was Tony Stark, distilled down to his purest self.  I hated it, but I also loved it, and more importantly I think, I bought it.

I also really would have loved to have a kind of on-screen farewell to my pairing, and I didn't get that, either.  I'm a Science Boyfriends kinda gal, and there was almost zero interaction between Bruce and Tony - there was zero relevant interaction.  But it is what it is - this was never going to be everything to all people, and that's one of the relationships that didn't get priority.  I'm okay with that, too - mainly because its absence means they didn't do anything TERRIBLE to it, either!  When it comes to my pairings, I'd far rather TPTB leave them alone than do something I don't like.  That said - it would have been nice if they'd you know, exchanged a couple of lines?  And it would have been SUPER nice if Bruce had been around to react to Tony's death. Getting past it, getting past it.... ;)

My biggest fear going into this movie was that it would kill my fannishness about the Avengers.  I just recently rediscovered it, and I've been writing like a MAD thing.  I've stayed up too late writing, I've gotten up way to early to write... I've written through nights when I was supposed to be raiding with my online pals, or watching stuff with my housemates.  I've definitely done quite a lot of writing when I was supposed to be working! And it's been fun, and it's felt really good, and I just didn't want to lose it.  I missed fandom and other fans, and I missed caring so much about characters and pairings.  Having it all back again these past couple of months has been a blast -- so I went into Endgame a) pretty sure they were going to kill Tony and b) pretty sure that killing Tony would kill my fannish joy.

I am happy to report it did not.  I'm still in love, and I'm still writing like crazy.  I gave myself some pretty stern talking-tos in the lead-up to the movie, along the lines of "Are you really going to let a couple of rich white geekboys decide what happens to YOUR Tony Stark?" and in short form, "CANON IS NOT THE BOSS OF ME!"  I think it helped.  I'm still here, anyway!

There are a few other things I really didn't like.  One - the CGI for Bruce was a horror show for me.  It landed right in the Uncanny Valley, and I could barely stand to look at him on screen.  Every time he showed up, it was like a cartoon character appearing in my live action show.  I think that actually may have helped me with the Tony thing, though -- because it yanked me out of the movie when Bruce was onscreen, and that gave me the distance I needed to not become a puddle of shivering misery on the floor when Tony died saving the world.

Don't get me wrong - I really do like that he's able to integrate now.  I like that he has control.  Still, I'm not sure this is a road I ever really want to go down in my writing.  I like Hulk too much to want to see him essentially killed by Bruce (which is kind of how I'm reading this.)  I get that Hulk IS Bruce IS Hulk and if I were his therapist I'd be all over it.  But I'm not his therapist - I'm one of his slashfic writers.  And as such, I prefer him splintered and angsting over it.  :)

I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Natasha, and I'm not sure they're particularly coherent.  I think if Endgame had happened exactly the way it did, WITHOUT the disgusting Ultron lines about how she's a monster because she can't have kids, I'd be fine.  As it is, Ultron happened and then Natasha gave herself up for a guy with a family, and from a purely Doyle-ist perspective I find that sequence of events suspect, and deeply gross.  

On the other hand, from a purely Watsonian perspective, I fully agree with what  <a href="https://cesperanza.tumblr.com/post/184622436895/i-cant-believe-that-as-a-prominent-woman-in">cesperanza had to say about Nat</a>, so I'm just going to let that stand for me, too.

Probably the final thing I didn't like was fat!Thor.  I do get the arguments on the other side of this, that it's cool to show even a super hero can get depressed and live off cheez whiz and get fat and disaffected. But I also think that's not all there is to this; I think you don't make Chris Hemsworth run around in a fat suit without on some level doing it for the point-and-laugh. And I find that kind of "joke" toxic and disgusting.  I'm not going to go on and on about it here, but in short just - a world of no from me on that.  

So what's my score so far?  2 things I wanted but didn't get, 3 things I didn't like?  But on the bright side...it's now time to move along to the bright side! And the bright side is pretty damn bright.

I was incredibly happy that Tony and Steve were able to repair their relationship.  Civil War was such a tough movie to watch, and while there was at least a thread of hope for them at the end of it, this resolution was a long time coming.  They're so very different in their worldviews and methods, but so very alike in their absolute dedication to protecting people and doing the right thing - the friction has always made perfect sense, but getting to see them come to terms with each other ... that's something I have really wanted for a long time.  I was extremely sad watching Tony just chew into Steve at the beginning of Endgame, but not at all surprised - Tony was completely done in, physically, mentally and emotionally.  Just seeing Tony that physically wasted and weak was hard.  Steve's reactions to it were perfect, though, just perfect.  I don't think I could have asked for any more than I was given for the two of them.  

I loved Tony's relationship with his daughter - in fact, I love Tony's relationship with every character below the age of majority that he's ever been on screen with.  Tony may be my OTP (One True Parent) in fact - he's just so deeply interested in these kids (Harley, Peter, Morgan) as human beings.  And he treats them oddly as equals, while still somehow managing to parent well for each of them.  He's hilarious and snarky and caring and he connects.  I don't know, I just adore it.  We didn't get to spend a lot of time with Morgan, but it was obvious she adored Tony and was well on her way to growing up to be just like him, and I wholly approve.  

And before I leave the topic of kids - Tony mourning Peter broke my heart, and his love for Peter when he came back knitted it back together again (that hug omg, </3 -> <3) and then Peter's breakdown when Tony was dying, finally calling him "Tony" instead of Mr. Stark or sir...there it goes, heart broken again.  BROKEN.

I and the rest of the universe loved Steve wielding Mjolnir (and Thor KNEW it!). We all saw this coming from way back at the party in Ultron, and a part of what this series of movies has managed to do that I love is take moments like that, a billion movies ago at this point, and pay them off one by one.  Sure, it's fan service, but because they were patient, it feels earned.  I adore it.

I'm going to wrap this up for now because if I don't, it's never getting posted - I have a ton of thoughts and even MORE feelings about this movie, and I'll be posting more of them because how can I NOT.  But I do want to talk a little about one of the major things that literally filled me with joy: 

The return to Avengers 2012!!! <3 <3 <3

I just want to go back and live there - like, I want to build a tinyhouse with a telescope in the window and just stare at it all from the shadows forever.  I could literally sit for days upon days of "what happened in Avengers 2012 around what we saw on the screen in Avengers 2012" - that could be an entire TV series and I would tune in for every freaking episode.  It was SO. MUCH. FUN!  From "feel free to clean up..." to "take the stairs" and "SO MANY STAIRS" to Loki pretending to be Steve and Loki stealing the tesseract and poofing out to Thor saving Tony with his hammer and both of them so jazzed about it... OMG.  I just love it all, and I'm so happy they did it.  I loved everything around it - I loved Bruce trying half-heartedly to smash, I loved the Sorceress Supreme up on the rooftop fighting the Chitauri, I loved Bruce getting smacked out of Hulk and Hulk on a lounge chair with a sunhat over his face.  EVERYTHING.  I just.  <3

I went into Endgame expecting the worst for my favorite character, and I got the worst for him.  But the more I think about this movie, the more I find that it's a happy place for me. It gave me what I didn't want and it made me like it.  Like - a LOT.  I went into it expecting/fearing that it would kill my fannishness about Avengers, and it's done the exact opposite - it's brought me back into fandom, back into contact with fans, back into thinking all the thoughts and feeling all the feelings and wanting to share them with other people who are thinking and feeling about the same thing.  

I feel like this entire series of movies, this slate of characters, this universe they've built - it's a gigantic wonderful amazing heartbreaking heartmending accomplishment, and I'm just super glad it's all here, and that I got to experience it all.  

(And I can't wait to write a metric fuckton of stories that ignore it! Tony may be gone in this timeline, but he's never going to die in mine, damn it!)

[lurafita]

Kitten Peter! ch. 2

Go here for the plot bunny that started it all: clickbait

Go here for the actual first chapter I wrote for the plot bunny: more clickbait

Go here for the Ao3 link: how can there be even more clickbait

Okay, let’s start this. As with all the other stories, EVERYONE that comments on any of the parts, get’s automatically put down in the tags. If you don’t want to be tagged for this or future parts, (but still want to comment, in which case: bless you), just write “no tag, please.” Or contact me via messaging here. I completely understand if you want to keep your notifications as clear as possible.

Despite the many, many promises that he was not about to have a mental breakdown because his ex was coming back, Pepper had herded Tony (and Peter) out of the lab and into his living room. Then the fiery redhead had made him something to eat. A very poor attempt at fried vegetables with rice, that the billionaire had forced down his throat through pure will power. The woman was a great friend, a fantastic assistant and a marvelous CEO, but she could barely boil water.

Not that Tony would ever tell her that.

As he chewed his way through the mushy rice and cotton like broccoli (how did you even get vegetables to take on this kind of texture?), he couldn't help but envy Peter. The little kitten was happily munching on his chef cooked, kitty appropriate, fish dinner.

It had taken another hour after that to make the woman believe that he really was okay, before Pepper had finally left for the night. With the sudden absence of someone inquiring if he really was alright, Tony found himself asking the very same question.

Was he okay?

The feeling of tiny claws digging into his pant leg diverted his attention momentarily to the tiny brown kitten scrambling up into his lap.

"You realize these pants cost 900$, right? And here you are, poking them full of tiny holes and spreading your hair all over my general wardrobe."

Contrary to his words, he immediately scratched Peter's head once the kitten had made his way up and into his favorite spot.

"We are going to get some visitors tomorrow, Petey. This tower was actually not always this empty, you know? I mean besides the business departments and all the other S.I. staff."

Peter was apparently not finished with climbing his human, and proceeded to scale up the inventor's shirt. Tony kept a careful hand underneath his kitten, content to let Peter climb up on his own, but ready to catch him should he slip.

"They used to live here, you know? The Avengers. Earth's mightiest heroes. I was one of them. AM one of them, but you know this. You have seen my suit. I'm Iron Man, and therefore the best, right?"

Peter had made it up to Tony's chin and was rubbing his little body affectionately along his beard and cheek. Tony smiled.

"Right. Anyway, the rest of the team has been away for some time... I think they left about two weeks before I found you, and they are coming back tomorrow and I... I don't know how I feel about that."

He sighed deeply, as if finally admitting that part to himself, after having spent the last few hours denying any negative thoughts to Pepper.

Peter settled himself on his right shoulder and rubbed his head against the skin on his neck, letting out a tiny mewl that sounded almost prompting.

"It's not that I don't want them to come back. They are my friends, and I actually like having them around. Even Barton, and that guy is a menace, I tell you. If he tries kidnapping you into the vents, you go ahead and scratch up his stupid face, got it?"

He ran his fingers over Peter's small back, and the kitten started purring. Tony relaxed.

"You will like them. There is Rhodey, who is my best friend, actually. I met him in college and he... well, he has been looking out for me ever since. He is also an Air Force Colonel and probably the most level headed of all of us. He has a suit that is almost as cool as mine, but he buckled under the peer pressure and gave himself the moniker of Iron Patriot, which isn't even a fraction as cool as his previous 'War Machine'. Then there is Bruce, my science bro. He is the strongest Avenger and he might even be smarter than me, but we are not gonna tell him that. He also turns into a tall, green rage monster on occasion, but he is really just a big ol' marshmallow on the inside. Clint is our modern day version of Robin Hood, just without the stealing from the rich and giving to the poor thing. ... On second thought, scratch that. He always stole my fucking coffee and then drank it himself. As if he wasn't perfectly capable of brewing his own. So, yeah. Modern day Robin Hood with less altruistic intentions and only marginally better fashion sense. I'm not sure if Thor is on earth right now, so he might not make an appearance tomorrow. If he does, try not to climb him, okay? I know he is easily confused with a tree, and his stupid cape is probably a very big temptation for your little claws. But you just never know when that big lug decides to twirl his glorified hammer and light up like it's the fourth of July. And if Thor electrocutes my little Petey-Pie, I'm gonna blast his head off, Asgardian royalty or not. So we better avoid that and don't go climbing up any aliens, okay? Trust me, it's not worth it. His beard doesn't hold a candle to mine."

On cue, Peter rubbed his head against the billionaire's bearded chin, letting out a contented mewl.

"Natasha is a bit more difficult to describe. I'm pretty sure if Fury ever manages to clone her, he will jsut retire every other superhero and agent on the planet and fill all his mission teams with Black Widow clones and take over the world. ... Come to think of it, that's a very scary thought. Friday, remind me to hack into Shield later and see if they have any kind of cloning research in the works."

"Of course, boss."

Peter didn't startle anymore when Friday's disembodied voice sounded throughout the tower, but he had started batting his paw in the air whenever she spoke. Like he was waving hello. Tony thought it was precious.

"Anyway, Natasha is pretty badass, but I don't think you have anything to worry about. Just hit her with the eyes and she is gonna be a goner for sure."

He could actually picture Natasha stopping in the middle of kicking Clint's ass, just to give Peter a tummy rub. He would have to be vigilant from now on. He wouldn't put it past Barton and Romanoff to try and kidnap (catnap?) his little Petey. He was going to write an anti-kitty-napping code into Friday's mainframe.

"And that brings us to... to Steve."

His mood took a nose dive. There was the crux of the matter. Steve.

Peter, clever little kitty that he was, noticed the change in his human immediately, and bumped his head against Tony's cheek with a questioning meow.

"It's... complicated. Steve and I, we used to be in a relationship. Shoot, I haven't given you that particular talk yet, have I? So, when one mature cat really likes another mature cat, and they decide to have a bunch of little kittens together... wait, that's called a litter, right? Okay, so if these two cats really like each other, and are both of a consenting age, they might decide to have a litter of adorable little kittens together, you know, if one was in heat and it's like mating season... do cats have mating seasons? Actually, this comparison doesn't really work, because neither Steve nor I were trying to get each other pregnant... You know what? You are way too young for this kinda talk, mister."

He carefully took Peter into his hand and held the kitten in front of his face, so he could look directly into the big, round eyes.

"I do not want you getting any ideas of running off with any mangy, ruffian tom cat, or some little pussy hussy, that tries to lay their dirty, perverted paws on you, got it?"

Peter leaned over the rim of Tony's hand and licked him on the nose. Tony grinned.

"Okay. But we will be having a 'stranger, danger' talk later."

He then cradled the kitten in both hands and cuddled him into his chest.

"So, back to the Steve issue. We were together. As, in a relationship. All official like, with going on dates and pet names and everything. The media even had a ship name for us: Stony; which, not very original, but no one has ever accused mass media of originality, so what can you do. Anyway, Steve and I were a 'thing', and I thought we were a 'good thing', you know? I mean, we hadn't dropped the L-word yet, but we had been going steady for a pretty long time, and that was kinda a first for me, and... I liked it. Him. Us. Being an 'us' with Steve. And it was good. Comfortable. And then Barnes came back."

His hand stopped petting Peter at the memory, and the kitten softly tapped his paw against Tony's thumb. When Tony looked down, he once again couldn't stop the thought that Peter must somehow understand him, because right then, the little kitten was looking up at him with an almost too human expression of worry and sympathy. He smiled at him and resumed his petting.

"Long story short, Steve slept with Barnes and broke up with me. And, look, it's not like I don't have sympathy for the guy. The things Hydra did to him and made him do... Suddenly being free of all that and having your best friend there with you...  And I understand Steve's side of things as well. Kinda. Those feelings he has for Barnes, they probably weren't anything new. But back in his time, same sex relationships weren't simply frowned upon, but downright illegal. Then there was the war and the serum and everything else... They probably never really had the time or opportunity to realize exactly what they felt for each other. And then suddenly Steve wakes up decades in the future; and everything is different and he gets put on this team of super idiots and there is fighting and aliens and more fighting and in the midst of all of this, there is the cultural shock of having just skipped like two whole generations..."

Tony had been thinking a lot about it, actually. He wasn't always honest with himself, and he wasn't always good with his emotions. It was something Rhodey had said to him a long time ago. That sometimes, in order to understand our own feelings, we had to understand the feelings of those around us.

And with Peter's calming influence, he had been thinking a lot about Barnes and Steve and himself and their relationships.

At first, fresh after the break up, Tony had just been angry. Hurt, too, but that was so much harder to face than the anger had been, and so he had settled on that instead.

After the team had left for the compound (and Tony understood that his personal relationship drama could not stand in the way of the Avengers availability for missions and their need to keep up their training regimen.), he had locked himself in his lab for three days, trying to tinker his anger and hurt away. Then Pepper had lost her patience with him and hauled the genius out of there and made him see a therapist and sleep and eat (not in that order, though).

Any protestations that he didn't need to see a shrink just because his boyfriend broke up with him, were waved away by the woman ("Someone taking care of your mental health has been long overdue.")

It hadn't helped. The therapist and the food and the sleep, non of it had helped and Tony just got angrier and angrier at his own inability to let it all fucking go. (He had missed his Iron Man suit, and being an active Avengers, but even Tony, as much as he hated to admit it, knew that he hadn't been in the right frame of mind for it)

But then had come that fateful night, where Tony had taken his therapists advice to take a peaceful, relaxing stroll around some neighborhood. It hadn't been peaceful, and it hadn't been relaxing, and Tony had been pissed all the more for it. And then he almost got shot by some two bit thug. But he didn't regret it one bit, because those were the circumstances that brought Peter into his life.

Ever since the little kitten had launched himself at Tony's almost murderer and saved the billionaire's life, things had started getting better. Having a tiny, fluffy creature to take care of and adore, had left Tony no time to dwell on his anger. Watching as the kitten explored his new home with too much enthusiasm and too little coordination, had made the man smile and laugh more in those first few days, than he had in weeks (months?).

Cuddling up with Peter anywhere and having the little fluffball purr up a storm, never failed to relax Tony and often lulled him into a deep, and thankfully dreamless, sleep. He quit going to his therapist and started taking Peter with him wherever he went. Pepper wasn't impressed the first time he showed up to a board meeting, with the kitten neatly tucked into his shirt's breast pocket. But she had quickly given in when she saw that Tony actually paid attention during the meeting, and was much more open to listening to the boards suggestions, while he was playing with Peter.

He talked to Peter all the time, about everything. S.I. business, new projects, what he thought about any particular book or movie, his robots, his suit, absolutely anything that came to mind. Aside from the Avengers. Until now.

"So, really, I get it. Those two are probably some kind of star-crossed, destined to be, once in a lifetime, lovers. And I don't even begrudge them finally being together. I just... I hate how it happened. I hate that Steve all but ignored me when Barnes came back from the dead. I hate that he slept with him while we were still an item. I hate that it made me feel like I had been a stand-in for Barnes all along. I hate that I have hardly talked to any of the team since they relocated to the compound. I hate-" He sighed. "I hate that I don't hate him. I kind of want to. I feel like that would be easier, you know?"

Peter just looked at him with his big, adorable eyes and laid his little paw on Tony's chest, right where the genius' heart was beating. Really, sometimes it felt like the kitten understood every word.

"I miss him, but not in the way one misses a significant other. I miss arguing about reading the newspaper on my tablet versus reading it on paper. I miss confusing him with pop culture references he doesn't know about. And I miss him getting on my case about spending too much time in the lab. But I'm not too hung up about all the couples' stuff. Not saying I didn't enjoy the se-  wait, this isn't appropriate for young kitty ears. It's not like I didn't like our 'intimacy', but looking back on it now, I think Steve and I, we were always more of a 'friends with benefits' type of relationship, with more weight placed on the 'friends' part of the deal. Don't get me wrong, I'm still angry about Steve cheating on me like that, and how it all went down, but I think I can forgive him. I mean, obviously we will need to have it out, first. We didn't really get to the 'break up talk' before I pretty much kicked everyone out, and I guess that's partly on me. But, I want to forgive him. So, if Steve and I manage to clear the air between us, and all that sentimental stuff, ... yeah."

Peter had climbed back up to Tony's shoulder and lovingly rubbed his head against every part of his human's face he could reach. Tony laughed.

"Love you, too, Petey. You are the best kitten in the world, you know that? I will tell Vincent to make you something extra special for breakfast tomorrow."

Tony brought his hand up to massage his fingers into the soft fur, while Peter burrowed himself into the man's neck and purred until they both fell asleep.

______________________________________________________________

______________________________________________________________

tbc

Okay, let me first say, I understand if people might be a bit confused over Tony's seemingly easy forgiveness here, but I hope I managed to portray that in this story, Tony and Steve's previous relationship isn't meant to be the main plot point. It's actually not even meant to be a particularly important plot point. The story's main plot is the relationship between Tony and Peter, and Peter being an adorable little ball of fluff. :-)

Also, I didn't want Tony to be completely broken up because things with Steve went south. Matter of fact is, romantic relationships sometimes don't last. They sometimes don't work out. And sometimes someone messes up. Steve cheated on Tony. That was a douche move, no question. But I didn't want to just bash his character. Steve didn't cheat on Tony because he didn't value him, or because he is just is a super asshole. These are very special circumstances, and things didn't go great, and Steve isn't perfect, and he messed up. But he didn't do it with malicious intent, and he is still a good guy, and he will try his best to repair the trust between him and Tony.

Tony is gonna get a bit of funny, petty revenge on Steve, though. With Peter's help, of course. ;-)

Sidenote: I would really like to know your opinion about Tony's aborted efforts to have 'The Talk', with kitty Peter. :-) :-) :-) I hope it was as funny to read, as it was to write!

Please tell me if tagging didn’t work, or if I forgot anyone!

TAGGING: @ theonemetorulethemalll  @ sapphire-of-shield  @ plueschpop  @ deliciousflapbanditfarm  @alanaaw88

[chestnutbrumby]

Okay you guys. This is, as best I recall it, a breakdown and some speculating and yes there's some ranting about the Scarlet Vision interactions during Infinity War.

I'm not claiming to have the world's best memory for this. I certainly didn't take any recordings or anything, this is all from my head which is probably why it's missing some details. Anyone feel free to jump in with additions, I'm cool with it as long as you're less of a dick than Tony would be about it.

There are spoilers.

SPOILERS.

FOR INFINITY WAR.

MAJOR ONES. ESSENTIALLY THE ENTIRE PLOT OF THE MOVIE gets mentioned here.

SPOILERS. SPOILERS. SPOILERS. SPOILERS.

Got it? Okay. Read on with forewarning.

We're in Edinborough, near the beginning of the movie. Vision opens the curtains of a hotel window and winces, touching his forehead and instantly catching Wanda's attention. From the bed, she looks up and calls him by his nickname Vis, already concerned. It's clear this isn't the first such episode.  

Vision tells her the stone is trying to tell him something but he doesn't know what. She comes to him and places her hands on his face, and he turns his head and kisses her palm with every single bit of tenderness in the entire dimension. He asks her what she feels, and she summons a little hex as the mind stone glows beyond his human disguise.  

"All I feel is you." They kiss, noting here since I've been asked this more than once that yes, Vision is in human form.

Walking down the street, Wanda suggests a later train so they have more time together, I think it's the 10:30 to Scotland. Vision asks what happens if he misses that train and Wanda tells him then there's an 11:30. Vision asks "What if I missed all the trains" and melts my heart and Wanda reminds him he gave his word to Tony, and she has people waiting on her too. They talk about how they've been doing this for two years, trying to see if it [their relationship] would work, and Vision goes all adorable nervous and stuttering trying to get it out. "Okay I'm just going to speak my mind, I think-" Wanda finishes that sentence. "I think that it works." Vision looks relieved. "It works." He agrees, this sequence may not be right but I feel like it's then Vision asks Wanda "Stay. Stay with me." Right before he notices her expression change and asks if he's overstepped, but Wanda notices the attack on New York playing on a TV set behind them and Vision says he has to go back. Wanda says going back might not be a good idea, and yes, and Corvus stabs Vis with that effing spear and I think he hit my soul while he was at it as well.

During that fight there's little dialogue but there is this memorable line: "I'm beginning to think we should have stayed in bed” -- WOAH Vision just made a joke from the Tony synapses anyone else pick this one? In Bed. BED. YOU GUYS, THEY WERE IN BED. I don't feel like I can emphasize it enough. BEEEED. Okay we need to move on before my head explodes.

Though right at the start of the battle, Vision gasps to Wanda something about the wound not allowing him to phase. She asks "Is that possible" and Vis replies "It isn't supposed to be." It's around this stage I believe Wanda uses her powers trying to heal the gaping wound where the spear pierced him.

They start getting thrown around a lot and I'm sorry already, because my memory for action is not as good as dialogue, but near the start Wanda sends Vision flying with her powers, trying to get them both to safety, they get hit midair, and she hits the ground first and ‘catches’ him with her powers and it's so amazing and super sweet.

While Wanda is off fighting Proxima, Corvus is stupid enough to threaten Wanda while he's trying to throttle Vision. Saying something like "She'll die first?" I have this thought that isn't right BUT it's something along the 'let's threatening this guy's woman' line. Vision gets pissed and fights back with a bit more spirit and blasts Corvus with a mind stone laser which... if I recall is the only time you see this during the movie?

I also couldn't quite tell after Proxima derailed their escape attempt who grabbed onto whom as they arced down towards the rooftops. I think it may have been a little of both, each trying to protect one another. After they crash at the train station (Memory is getting a little more fogged by this stage guys) Vision, realizing the lie of the land, begs Wanda to go. She places her hand on his cheek - she is clearly like any sensible woman not entertaining this idea even for a single second - and tells him that he asked her to stay and she's staying. Aka, no arguments, Toaster, you got her for life.

All right my memory is a lot more dodgy for their arrival at the Avengers Compound. There is an amusing bit when Bruce and Nat see each other for the first time and Sam, who is supporting Vision with Wanda on Vis's other side, murmurs "Well this is awkward" and you see Vision tilting his head a little, trying to figure out why. It's a nice little moment of our boy a bit more Civil War era when he was still figuring these weirdo humans out.

So, jump to when everybody is discussing what the hell to do about the giant genocidal purple manic headed their way. Wanda points out Thanos clearly knows where to find them and I'm thinking the mind stone is essentially a homing beacon by this stage.

Vision, leaning up against a column looking outside, turns back to the group. He says he's been giving a great deal of thought to the mind stone in his head and he believes that it could be destroyed with a power similar enough to it, and he and everybody looks significantly at Wanda.

She says - there may be a touch more dialogue before this part: "That's too high a price"

This may not the exact line but Vision replies "It isn't fair you should be the one to pay it." But he's asking her to anyway and she's clearly refusing. I recall a lot of face touching as they're talking, and at one stage when she's especially upset, Wanda turns away from Vision and leaves his hands still up where he was cupping her face. It's also noteworthy to me that Steve looks very deeply affected by the obvious tenderness between Wanda and Vision during this exchange. I don't know if he's remembering Peggy, or thinking about Sharon, or just LIKE THE REST OF US marveling (yeah I did that) at the obvious, transparent love between a mutant hex-wielding witch and a red and silver infinity-stone and Mjolnir-worthy android. But it might be all three.

Bruce points out that Vision is complex, that he's a mix of him, Tony, Ultron, Jarvis and the mind stone but essentially that if you took the last of them away there is a lot of Vision left, "maybe the best parts".  

Side derailing note: THANK YOU BRUCE I'VE BEEN SAYING THIS FOR YEARS. Not that Tony is one of the best parts of Vision, just that it is entirely possible that he can survive WITHOUT the mind stone. Bruce, I could kiss you for making this possibility canon, but I am way too scared Natasha would find me and end me.

Okay so they head to Wakanda and there's no Scarlet Vision dialogue I recall until they get there, just a shot of Vision slumped on his seat with Wanda at his side on the quinjet.

When they get to Wakanda, there's the scene we've all likely seen in the TV spot where Shuri scans Vision to start the process of getting the stone out of his head. Yes, the one where Shuri asks about... reprogramming synapses?? (Clearly I don't speak science this is why I leave that to Shuri, Bruce and Helen Cho). And Vision looks at her with his little head tilt like 'oh yeah, that does make sense, Bruce why didn't you do that?'

Annnnd before anything meaningful can happen, the attack crashlands - literally - on their doorstep and Steve orders Wanda to destroy the mind stone the instant it's out of Vision's head. I am horrified there was no more SV dialogue during the fight until it hits the forest, even though yes, it's a kind of critical point in the battle and you might not want to slow it down for romantic scenes but. BUT. Scarlet Vision.

So the trap is set and and Proxima waited to spot Wanda on the battlefield saving everybody from giant earth-ripping machines and told Corvus to go get the stone form Vision. Fuck my life, seriously. Vision winds up joining the group outside WHILE WASTING ALL THAT TIME EVERYONE WAS FIGHTING TO BUY SHURI TIME I'm not actually blaming anyone specific for this, I'm just ranting because we all know what's coming next.

Wanda joins Okoye and Natasha for a fight against Proxima and finally kill that bitch, blue blood and all. Vision saves Steve from Corvus and tells him "We don't trade lives, Captain". Vis learned form the best, the very best Steve. I hope you're proud Vis hasn't forgotten the time you spent leading and training this team.

Okay guys here it is, the part we all don't want to read. You can skip it, I won't mind. I certainly don't want to write it but I've started and I may as well commit.

Thanos arrives on earth. There's a slow-motion sequence of all our Avengers throwing themselves at him (HAVE YOU GUYS LEARNED NOTHING? A TEAM, YOU'RE A TEAM, WORK TOGETHER AND STOP TAKING TURNS) and none of them are able to stop him. Vision and Wanda both know what's happening. He begs her to do it. He says that half the universe will die when she says can't do it. Vision implores Wanda to destroy the stone. They both know there's no chance to get it out of his head by now. It needs to go bye-bye and it needs to happen now. Wanda starts to cry. "We are out of time."

Time. Yeah.

 Vis tells Wanda some very, very Big Feelz as she begins. "You could never hurt me." "All I feel is you."

He says something quieter to her while she is working on destroying the mind stone, before he utters his last line which is of course "I love you" which I think... my hearing hasn't been good enough to quite catch this either time I saw the movie - I think Vis says 'it's all right' twice.

NO VISION. IT IS NOT ALL RIGHT. NONE OF THIS IS ALL RIGHT.

Okay, I'm still with you guys.

Wanda explodes the mind stone and Vision is just vaporized with it. Nothing left. Breathe with me, guys. Thanos tries to have a tender moment with Wanda, touching her head (get that purple meathook off of her before I break it off) and saying that he understands.

She looks at him, all venom. (Okay that one wasn't actually intentional). "You could never."

And then Thanos uses the time stone, reverses the moment, grabs Vision around the neck in a hauntingly familiar pose from the movie's beginning and rips the stone along with a chunk of Vision's forehead out. He falls to the ground while Thanos has a moment with the stones -  I cannot help but feel there's some significance to the way he turns so colourless after Thanos drops him (yes, the second Vision death we've endured in a matter of as many minutes). He almost looks, dare I say this - white.

He's the short of it guys for me. Vision died. Twice. It was horrible both times. And I'm just in that mindset now of no matter WHAT happens in Infinity War part 2 - whoops I mean Avengers 4 - I don't want the MCU to exist without Vision. Or for that matter, Wanda. I don't want them to go back, and never make him, and Wanda never to meet him.

Because she'll always know. It doesn't matter if any new version of Wanda that gets saved from turning to ash (Can we all stop for a moment to observe how she didn't fight that, she let it happen. And she could have. She COULD HAVE FOUGHT IT.) has never known Vision.

Something in her powers, something in her heart and soul, will know that she's one half of a whole, that even though that half can live a life that seems normal on the surface - it isn't. She's missing something. She's missing someone. She's missing, in fact, the mot vital thing any of us are ever likely to experience, her soulmate, her true love.

And there's no fixing that. Trust me. 

I am scared Vision was killed off twice and is going to stay dead, essentially, and for all that EVERY SINGLE PERSON TALKED ABOUT VISION DYING dammit seriously, I was not, NOT emotionally ready for it and probably never could be.  

If this is what happens I'm pretty sure I'll be feeling these feels for life. Somebody fix me?

Anyway. I hope this was... well that it meant something to anyone who's read this far. Offer me any corrections and I can edit them in, let me know if you want credit for doing so.

Because we're in this together you guys. Until next May.

[paceprompting]

Okay, you know what, I’m just gonna write this because it’s been in my brain nonstop for two weeks and it’s not going away any time soon.

Imagine if, during a mission, after Bucky is back and he’s well enough to at least sniper on some missions, blah blah, details, details...he sees Steve go down after taking a blast to the head. Not lethal, but enough to knock him out.

As fast as he can, Bucky is racing down to get to Steve, but doesn’t manage to get there before some goon is injecting Steve’s arm with a strange substance. Bucky throws the goon in the trees and tried to go to Steve, but he’s forced to take cover when a Hydra sniper starts firing at him, only hoping that he doesn’t target Steve. 

After a moment, the shooting stops and Bucky hears over the comms that Barton managed to take the sniper out, and he rushes to get Steve. As soon as he steps out into the open, something sharp clips the side of his neck and he hears Barton cursing, “What the fuck, I got him.” But it doesn’t matter because Bucky’s vision is already fuzzy and he can’t stand. 

He crumbles beside Steve. 

They both wake up an indeterminable amount of time later, to the frightened gazes of their friends, but something isn’t right. Neither of them recognize any of their friends, even threatening to call the police if they wouldn't leave the alone. Steve, strangely not Bucky, starts to get violent, until JARVIS chimes in and Steve proceeds to freak out, because “what the hell was that”, and when JARVIS talks again to try and calm Steve down, Steve falls to floor, clutching his head. When the team goes to check on Bucky, he’s in a similar state and Tony decides to sedate the both of them. 

Some through testing later, Tony’s determined that both Steve and Bucky think it’s 1939, that Steve isn’t Captain America, Bucky isn’t the Winter Soldier, and they both have painful breakdowns every time they encounter something modern or their brains try to process that Steve isn’t small and sickly anymore or that Bucky doesn’t just work at the docks. 

For their own safety, the Avengers decide not to try and force Steve and Bucky to remember anything past 1939. Tony keeps them sedated for a few days while he builds a replica of their apartment in Brooklyn, fit with cameras to observe them, and chips to implant in their necks that tap into their memories and allow Tony to only let them see up to the point they can currently remember.

Basically, Bucky won’t see Captain America, he'll see the small, pre-serum Steve and Steve will see pre-serum Bucky without a metal arm. Both men get haircuts, especially Bucky, and Natasha rounds up some clothes that match the time period. 

Once everything is set up, everyone crosses their fingers as Tony lets Steve and Bucky sleep off the last of the sedation and wake up in 1939. Thankfully, Steve and Bucky’s minds seem to accept their surroundings and they go about their day as if it were 1939. Tony or someone keeps careful watch, just in case things take a turn for the worse. 

Strangely, the only weird thing that happens is Steve and Bucky’s relationship. Or lack thereof. The Avengers are so used to the in-love couple, that watching Steve and Bucky awkwardly dance around each other is bizarre. Bucky still blatantly stares at Steve, but he’ s careful to look busy when Steve starts to pay attention to him, and Steve keeps side-glancing at Bucky when he thinks he can get away with it. 

The Avengers can’t get enough, and as much as Sam torments them about, he can’t stop watching the strangeness either, especially not after they start bringing in snacks and popcorn during shifts. 

They also see the Steve and Bucky from before Captain America and the Winter Soldier. 

Steve draws almost every day, and listens to radio shows (recordings Tony had bought online) every morning, and Bucky talks almost nonstop, teasing Steve to no end and drawling with his sweet words and charm that the team had only heard about. Bucky cooks breakfast for Steve, leaving it for him because most often, Steve slept in late. They learned the difference between Steve’s stern Bucky, and his angry James Buchanan Barnes when Bucky would actually piss him off.  

They saw Steve at his worst. With both of them still thinking Steve had his old health problems, Tony thought it was too risky to keep those memories stuffed down. Even though in real life, Steve’s body was in perfect health, his mind still made him endure asthma attacks and near heart stoppages. 

Before Tony finally figured out the ins and outs of whatever the two of them were injected with, Steve had technically nearly died about four times. 

When Tony also created an antidote, more dilemmas occurred. With Steve and Bucky no longer stuck in the past, how exactly was the team supposed to pull them back into the future without breaking them. 

And could they erase Bucky’s Winter Soldier conditioning?

Sadly, Tony, Bruce and Vision deducted that the safest thing was to have Steve and Bucky relive everything exactly the way it had happened. 

So, a month in a day’s time frame. 1939 quickly became 1940. About July of that year, July 4th to be exact, Steve’s birthday, Bucky kissed Steve, what the team realized to be, for the first time. They also realized how much of a romantic Bucky truly was, because in Steve and Bucky’s memories, fireworks were going off in the distance just as they kissed.

The team nearly experience Steve and Bucky‘s first time, but ducked out of the room as Bucky went to suck Steve off in the kitchen. They did catch the only other instance in which Steve would call Bucky “James” but they would rather forget that one. 

1940 turns into 1941, then ‘42, and ‘43, then ‘44 and ‘45. 

Steve and Bucky have the biggest fight of their relationship when Steve learns Bucky is shipping out and hadn’t even told Steve he’d joined up. It becomes a matter of pride for both of them, and it doesn’t end on good terms. 

Bucky leaves, his and Steve’s relationship hanging by a thread. He still kisses Steve on the forehead goodbye, but Steve is still asleep in bed when he does it and Steve is so angry when he wakes up to find Bucky gone. 

Steve becomes Captain America and relives the shame of being a glorified showgirl before he learns about Bucky being taken prisoner. 

As things start to heat up with Steve and Bucky’s memories, Tony has them half-conscious for memories like Steve fighting his way through a Hydra base camp to find Bucky, so that they’re experiencing the memories, but not reenacting them.

Steve and Bucky are fully conscious for their reunion in the military camp tent, where part of Tony’s chip for Bucky can be deactivated and Bucky can see Steve as Captain America. Steve and Bucky are awkward again, like before in 1939, but neither of them wants things to stay as they were when Bucky had been so close to dying. 

They create a makeshift bed on the floor of the tent, because they can’t both fit on the little cots, and sleep by each other’s side for the night, just holding each other.

Then Bucky dies. 

The night on the train passes and Tony and others remove Bucky to another room to begin reliving the horror of the Winter Soldier in a safe environment.

Steve is also taken to a safe room, where he breaks down. He collapses to the floor, tearing pouring down his face and sobs racking his body. For once as Captain America, Steve can’t catch his breath. 

Steve frantically tries to pull it together by himself for an hour and a half before the chip takes him to the airplane and he’s become Captain America again, taking the plane down into the Artic.

Tony takes down a note to have someone, maybe even Bucky, talk with Steve about Bucky’s death in 1945. 

From that point on, everyone thinks it best to let Steve and Bucky relive the rest of their memories to present day alone, if not fully asleep as well. Tony sets JARVIS on sentry mode to watch both men, and the team leaves them alone. 

For a week, there’s incessant banging and screaming from Bucky’s room, but unless JARVIS were to tell them otherwise, the team doesn’t investigate. Steve’s room is almost too quiet, and Natasha has JARVIS send her daily, even hourly, updates on his state.

Steve comes out of his room first, a little dazed still, but fully caught up to the present. He has no memory of reliving everything from 1939 to when he reemerged, but does know something went wrong on their last mission.

Wanda gives Steve a great big hug when she sees him, and then Steve really wants to know what had happened. The team lets Natasha slowly explain, and when she’s finished, Steve is speechless. His only question is whether Bucky is at least okay as he is, and Natasha tells him that Bucky is still working through his memories. 

Steve starts to go off to rest some more in his bedroom, but Tony stops him and hands him a disc. On it is written 1939 - 1945 and Tony assures Steve it’s the only copy and that any other video had been thoroughly deleted from any other database in the universe.

A few days later, Bucky comes out from his safe room and keeps his distance from everyone else. He seems to have a better idea that he’d relived something traumatic and the job falls to Natasha again to carefully explain what had happened. 

Bucky eventually makes his way to his and Steve’s bedroom, and finds Steve sleeping on top of the covers in sweatpants and the sweater Bucky had given him for Christmas. Bucky sits beside him and brushes his finger softly along the side of Steve’s face until he wakes. 

When Steve sees him, they embrace and it’s quiet. Neither of them say a word until Bucky sees that their TV is on and paused on something that looks like the two of them. 

Steve rushes to try and turn it off, but Bucky catches him and gets an explanation. Steve tells him it’s their memories, and that he’s watched the whole thing and was trying to again, but it’s a lot.

He offers to put it away somewhere where it will never see the light of day, but Bucky wants to see it. He’s still missing a lot of their life from before the Winter Soldier, even after reliving it all, and he wants to try.

So, they settle down and Steve restarts the disc.

At first, Bucky has a permanent smile etched onto his face and the two of them laugh over how awkward they look. The disc shows them a mixture of feed from the implanted chips and video from the cameras in the replica apartment. 

Eventually, they end up with Bucky holding Steve from behind, arms around his chest, and his head on Steve’s shoulder with Steve sitting crisscross between Bucky’s legs. 

They stop the video when Bucky goes off to war, partly because it’s midnight and mostly because Bucky won’t stop apologizing for it. 

The next day, they wake up and immediately start the video again, taking the same position they were in the day before. 

Bucky watches eagerly as he witnesses Steve’s memory of becoming the body of Captain America, and makes fun of him throughout the showgirl phase. 

He steels himself through the memory of his torture before Steve rescued him, hand tight in Steve’s and nose buried in Steve’s neck, keeping his breath steady and slow.

They stop the video one last time when Steve starts crying as Bucky witnesses the memory of Steve breaking down after he’d lost Bucky on the train. Bucky doesn’t try to tell Steve that none of it was his fault. Instead, he wraps the both of them in their comforter and they quietly make plans to have Steve join Bucky in his therapy sessions, and maybe even have ones of just Steve. 

They finish the last part of the video, both a bit emotionally worn out. They spend the rest of the day in bed, sleeping and cuddling and actually just staring at each other because they can.