#and it could still be a very good thing for a pipeline

[pepperyduck]

west end girls - hiromi higuruma

synopsis: after you filed for divorce, hiromi's been acting strange. he's got a problem that only you can fix.

word count: 2.3k

warnings: potentially triggering content, nsfw, angst, guns, reckless actions, unhealthy marriage, unhealthy relationships/attachment/obsession, hiromi is cray, unprotected sex, finishing inside, riding, on a couch, hiromi is a bad husband, very much bojack horseman behaivor, ooc hiromi. (18+ mdni!)

notes: this is me rambling and i'm sorry. i'm floating rn. love u guys. pls read the warnings. mwah. inspired by the song west end girls by petshop boys.

masterlist

although the wind was chilly outside, you buried your nose in your scarf and kept walking down the street towards the firm. it was early morning, birds chirped lightly in the trees, and you found yourself feeling off that day. you didn’t know why.

you didn’t know why, until you passed a certain coffee shop you used to visit often.

inside, pure chaos had erupted, it seemed.

a familiar man to you, and a stranger – or maniac – to the others inside, held a gun. it wasn’t pointed anywhere but to the temple of his head. tables had been knocked down, chairs had been kicked, people had been pushed into the corners of the shop, too scared to move or run away. everyone was frozen in fear, except for him.

“hiromi.”

your voice was cold as ice as you called his name from the front doors. hiromi’s back was facing you, allowing for a perfect silhouette of a man gone mad, with a barrel of a gun kissing his head. but at the sound of your voice – oh, he could go on about how much he loved your voice – the gun was dropped, and he slowly turned around.

stunts like that weren’t out of the ordinary for hiromi since the two of you had split. not divorced yet, just separated – at least, that’s what he told everyone. in reality, the date to finalize the split was creeping up. the closer it got, the more manic hiromi had turned, going from soaking in his bathtub with his suit on, to buying a gun, to now threatening to use that gun on himself in the place you first met. it seems like a wild pipeline, but really, there’s too many incidents to be listed here.

there were a lot of things that made hiromi higuruma go crazy, and unfortunately, you were one of them.

bystanders in the coffee shop looked at you as if you were the insane one, as you walked over to hiromi and snatched him out of the building, muttering a very bitter apology to everyone in there. as you touched your ex-husband’s arm, the gun consequently fell to the floor, causing the clip to fall out with a clatter.

there were no bullets inside.

yet the police had showed up minutes later, after you and hiromi were far down the sidewalk.

hiromi walked with a slump, hands hidden in the pockets of his blazer, unprepared for the winter weather that was only growing colder. you stepped alongside him, voice muffled by the thick scarf of your favorite color as you berated him. weirdly enough, you had kept your job at hiromi’s firm, even after the initiation for divorce. you had a good standing in it, and hiromi loved you too much to fire you, even if you did want to escape him. maybe one day, you’d be able to move cities, but then, you felt as if you didn’t have many places to go.

the thing is, you always were hiromi’s saving grace. it wasn’t healthy for either of you. he was too attached, using you as his lifeline, always needing your attention rather than the attention of anyone else. you told him countless times to move on, and he still continued to show out, and force you to be his superwoman and come save him.

you still loved him, but he drained you, so, so badly. that’s why you filed for divorce in the first place. however, it always felt like…you’d never be able to fully get away from him. hiromi acted as a lost puppy, briefly following it’s mother whenever it found her.

the city you and hiromi stayed in – separately, by the way; you had an apartment on the opposite side of town from him – was big. you had moved there with him after college when he proposed to you a few days after graduation. you found the city to be enjoyable, there was never a quiet moment in the streets of the most populated portions. boredom was never a problem.

hiromi, however, easily found the city overwhelming. especially when he was by himself. without you.

big lights, unfamiliar faces on billboards, whispering voices. car horns were blared, and breaks squealed every other second. sounds, so many sounds, and visuals. it was all too much for hiromi. all too much.

too much.

too. much.

maybe it was you, or the liquor. possibly it was the case he had lost earlier that day, or the phone call he received from an unhappy client, or the front office clerk that threw her badge at him and quit. either way, hiromi was in the middle of the street, drunkenly walking in front of and in between the traffic-jammed cars, flipping random people off who yelled at him. a true, rebellious, and vulgar, display of how much he had gotten away from himself.

he no longer cared about anything else in the world in that moment.

nothing. not himself, or you.

at least, until he saw your frame storming towards him. like a switch in his mind, the instant he saw you, he remembered what life was about. with your pretty heels and pretty dress, a few of your friends he had met before – and that were in your wedding – trailed out of the bar, watching as you forcefully dragged him back to the sidewalk.

“what the hell is your problem, hiromi? what the fuck? you always do this when—are you drunk?” you shot questions left and right at him, and all hiromi could do was look at you with his stupid huge eyes.

he loved you.

on the ride back to his place, and when you told him to calm the fuck down, all he was able to think about was how much he loved you. even if you hated his guts or found him to be nothing but a pest. you truthfully didn’t feel that way, though.

you often pondered about whether you should force hiromi to get help. taking into consideration everything that was on his plate every day, he needed something to make him snap out of it. hiromi was no longer the man you fell in love with. he wasn’t the same hiromi who got flowers, or took you out on dates, or wrote you notes about his love.

hiromi had turned into nothing more than an unrecognizable maniac.

unrecognizable. that would be the only adjective to describe your ex-husband when you opened your apartment door and let him inside. he had kept an indescribable expression constantly for the past months, one of which had immediately faded upon being let into your space. you noticed how he had gotten a haircut, swooped it back into its normally kempt style, and his face was freshly shaved. he had cleaned up nicely at your call.

only a few minutes into the painful conversation you planned, the both of you were crying your eyes out, spewing to one another about concerns and how hiromi felt, the complexity of his emotions and why he acted so strangely.

“i-i just…want you to get better, hiromi. you aren’t…you anymore,” you cried, honesty the only thing leaving your lips. you tightly held onto hiromi’s hand, nearly cutting off the circulation to his thin fingers.

and again, the switch in his brain flipped. a look in his eye appeared, or more like the pain and suffering he had held on to finally disappeared from his gaze, leaving nothing but the pure eyes of the hiromi higuruma you had fallen in love with. he raised his free hand to your cheek, cupping it ever-so-slightly and ran his thumb over the warm, tear-stained flesh.

“i’m okay, my love, i’m here.”

said through teary eyes, hiromi tried his best to comfort you. he wasn’t sure what was up with him, or if he would ever get better any time soon, but all that mattered to him in those moments was you. he pet your hair when you fell over to hug him, crying into his chest at the possibly false assurance. while you cried into him, hiromi looked around your apartment, relishing in the ability to see how you lived again.

against your better judgement, one thing ended up leading to another, as if both of you had been waiting for this opportunity ever since you filed for divorce.

hiromi had his hands on your waist, helping to bounce you up and down slowly and sensually, burying his length into you ‘til you hit the hilt. intimate, passionate, it all felt comparable to your wedding night. one of your hands rested atop his own, swiping over the gold wedding band he still sported.

you looked so beautiful, only wearing an old t-shirt, biting your bottom lip as he always made you do. the thought of a condom or even pulling out was long gone, he was going to stay inside of you until he felt fixed. who knew the solution to all his problems was sex?

moving you just a bit faster, hiromi quickened the pace, bucking his hips up into you to meet your walls sliding back down around his cock. he filled you up so nicely, soft tip of his hitting that sweet spot you couldn’t get anyone else to. your legs burned and shivered, overcome with the feeling of being stretched out so well, so familiar again.

“’hiro, mm-, please,” you absentmindedly begged, asking for something you didn’t know.

“please what, pretty?” hiromi’s voice was as monotone as ever, perfectly controlled although he felt himself getting closer and closer to the line of bursting inside of you.

you slumped your body over hiromi’s, crashing into his chest again, legs going halfway limp as you used all your strength to try to move on your ex-husband’s raging hard cock. hiromi took this opportunity – a familiar one of his past – and snaked his hands to under your thighs that were spread on either side of him. he held you up at a perfect height, and began hammering into you from below, planting his feet in the ground.

your little ouuu’s and whimpers swirled into his ears, making hiromi feel proud as ever, and beckoning him closer to the edge. you didn’t care what happened after that point, you just never wanted the feeling of your ex-husband pounding into you to end.

each grueling stretch felt heavenly, forcing you open in just the right way, faster, faster and faster. even as much of a romantic as the both of you were, hiromi enjoyed setting a brutal pace much more than being slow. every fast, deep stroke your ‘hiro gave you, was felt with intensity you hadn’t felt in what seemed like forever. even as your body went limp against him for good, he kept you help up with whatever strength he could find.

“feels so good, ‘hiro—gonna cum,” you whined, cutely pecking his neck after. he found your little weak kisses so endearing, it was a small detail he looked forward to every time the two of you made love. the pace never faltered, hiromi kept pounding up into you, forcing the bubbles in your lower abdomen to begin to pop.

“it’s okay, pretty, cum for me,” he muttered, always a little embarrassed about dirty talking with you. but nevertheless, his words made you topple over the edge, gushing all around hiromi’s length. he fucked straight through your orgasm, still never slowing down, making you grasp reality at the feeling of being overstimulated.

immediately, you began to whine again, “too much, ‘hiro, ah—uugh.” pitiful tears rolled over your lower eyelids, staining your cheeks for the second time that night. those tears were fully pleasure-written, though.

“gonna cum, my wife,” hiromi grumbled, the last two words leaving his mouth as little less than a whisper. little mind was paid to the fact he had no intention of pulling out, the realization coming to you when you felt ropes of your ex-husband’s cum shoot straight into you.

hiromi relaxed after a few more thrusts, dropping your motionless body back onto him fully. you stayed gripped to him for a few moments, contemplating about the moments before when lust had taken over – but really, you figured it wouldn’t be so bad if all this would become a little accident.

he was – was – your husband, after all.

after a few long minutes, hiromi picked you up, just as he always did, and carried you to your bed. he carefully laid down with you, soaking in the feeling of being warm under the blankets with his wife. he watched your frame as you fell asleep, cuddled into his toned frame, his arm securely around you.

he failed to fall asleep for a while.

and when you rolled over away from him in your sleep, getting comfy in a different position, away from him – he felt off again. hiromi hated that feeling. it was uncomfortable, and just…odd.

hiromi higuruma couldn’t help it that night when he snuck out of your bed, and out of your apartment, to go back home. he left you.

he figured he would wake up later and feel guilty about it, and frantically beg you to accept him again. but then, once more, nothing mattered to hiromi.

he did think about how you’d be when you woke up. will you try to talk to him? will you cut him off for leaving like that? will you act as if it never happened? he saw you as a strong woman, it’d be easy for you to let go of him in an instant, right?

hiromi was probably wrong, but he still ended up by himself at the end of the night. he shivered alone in his bed, dressed in all the clothes he had on earlier that night, thinking. he always thought too much.

[samkerrworshipper]

beautiful, beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl

leah williamson x reader, jordan nobbs x reader (wobbs as coparents)

reconciliation … the final part in this series x

2 months later:

“My name is y/n Williamson-Nobbs, and I am an addict.”

There are things you appreciate nowadays, more then you did before. Fresh air, the flowers blooming in spring, a strong coffee, smiles from strangers, a warm bed, hugs, being told you are enough, a classic movie, the sun, fruit, water, being clean.

“I didn’t ever take drugs to hurt anybody, or hurt anybody knowingly. I didn’t take drugs to have fun, or party, I didn’t get addicted because I liked it.”

You like taking your dog on walks, going and getting your hair done, floating in the ocean, lying in grass, being sober.

“I took drugs because it made me feel whole. I’ve never felt whole in my entire life, everyday in my life I’ve used something to patch that hole up, during my childhood I tried to fix every single problem, I fixed myself by fixing everybody else in my life, my mom, my non existent dad. As I got older it changed, I seeked validation to patch the hole, it was healthy, but I think I’ve always been an addict and I always will be. I’ve been addicted to filling that hole, it was disguised as being healthy for most of my life until I switched the validation for drugs.”

You don’t avoid peoples eye contact as you walk along the street anymore, you don’t avoid your moms, you don’t lie to people anymore, you don’t put yourself in danger.

“It started with nicotine, because my mom enabled it. I think she was more scared for me then anything. I was spiralling, who wouldn’t be in this day and age? I mean any parent of a teen must be terrified in this day and age, I know I would be. The nicotine was good, but then I got introduced to weed, and it felt like every problem I’ve ever had was fixed.”

You talk about your feelings now, you identify every single thing that you feel and you talk about it with as much detail as your moms and therapist want to hear. You don’t study the different chemicals entering your body every time you shoot up anymore, you study the intricacy and meaning of what you are going through. You take medicine for your depression and anxiety, not drugs for your hopelessness.

“They say weed is the pipeline drug, it’s true. After weed, I felt on top of the world and there was no stopping me. Molly, LSD, coke, heroin, benzos, fentanyl, ketamine, oxy, speed, and eventually meth, which I now know to be the worst of all of them. I didn’t know it at the time, there wasn’t anybody in my life, or in the life I’d created forn myself that was willing to tell me how dangerous what I was doing was.”

Jordan moved back in, whilst you were in rehab. It had been two weeks, that’s what you agreed to. It was the worst two weeks of your life without any doubt. But when you were picked up, both your moms were there, both of them were there for you. They both took time off, time off to take you away, across to France for a week.

“Meth will always be the thing that destroyed my life. My parents don’t trust me anymore, I get why. I lashed out, I became devoid of everything, I was convinced that everybody hated me, and that I was the cause of everybody’s pain, including my own. I convinced myself that the people who loved me the very most didn’t, and that I was the bomb that had torn all of my relationships in my life apart. I was a kid though, I still am, and I’m trying to be better.”

The trust was a hard thing. Your therapist saw Leah and Jordan twice a week, and that was when they would discuss the things that they could start reintroducing you to. School was a no, for now. You were yet to be permitted to stay at the house, alone, for longer then an hour, so every training session, gym session, appointment, media duty, catch up with friends, you were dragged to. It had been tough in the beginning, but you understood, trust had to be earnt. Every week there was something to look forward to, Jordan had been teaching you to drive after you’d gotten out of rehab, and as of a week ago you were permitted to drive yourself to and from your NA meetings.

“Meth made me feel like I was on top of the world, even though i was at my rock bottom. I had bad friends, I fell into a bad group of people, people who took advantage of the fact that I was so vulnerable and hurt. I’ll never forgive them for that, I’ll never be able to forgive them for taking advantage of a girl nearly ten years younger then them. They were hurting too, but that doesn’t excuse manipulating another person. They hurt me, they enabled me, they assaulted me, they took things from me that I’ll never get back.”

The first thing your mothers had wanted when after you’d come clean to them about everything was for you to get a rape kit. You’d outright refused, you were protecting the people, you didn’t want to relive what had happened to you but also a part of you didn’t want Matt and Maya to go down, even if you could now recognise that they’d done unforgivable things to you. Eventually, you agreed to it. You were glad you did, Matt had passed on chlamydia to you, which you thought was some kind of sick joke, that even after he’d deserted you there was still parts of him that were hurting you from the insides. Karma came in the form of a sexual assault report, one which had the policemen heading to his home to arresst him, only to finds thousands of dollars worth of illicit substances.

“I’m not proud of what I did to get a fix, I don’t think any recovering addict is. A couple of months ago I would have ruined every single relationship I had with all of the people I loved just to get a hit of what I was craving, and nowadays I would probably do the same, but I don’t need to. Meth was the love of my life, I think it always will be, or maybe the craving for something to fill me up is what I crave, I don’t really know, I’m still working everyday to try and figure that out.”

Sometimes, as you drove home at night, around every corner towards the house, you considered taking a stop at a side street, one that you knew a dealer would be sitting on. Somedays, you considered driving the car off of the highway and into a tree. Somedays, you considered taking a blade to your throat so you didn’t have to do rehab. Somedays though, you felt so incredibly blessed to be alive. Sometimes, you would sit outside, in the sun and just feel, allow yourself to feel everything that you’d always pushed down out of fear that you’d be deserted if you let any true emotion show.

“We’re all human, we all have the same dignity, no matter who we are. I made some stupid choices, choices that I won’t ever be able to reckon with, choices that for the rest of my life will haunt me. Don’t we all though? Don’t we all lie awake at night worrying about the things that we’ve done, that are out of our control now?”

You’d come to not fear desertion, the people who you’d hated most in the world but also loved most in the world had deserted you. Your parents had deserted you, you closest friends, people you would have considered your found family, deserted you. It was something you had no control over, something that you would never have control over and focusing all of your energy on trying to fix that had become something that you’d give up on.

“I’m not perfect, I never have been, I never will be. I can guarantee though that nobody in this room feels like they are perfect. We’re all hurt people, everybody has something that they keep hidden from people because they are scared that somehow it is going to make people see them differently. I’m guilty of it, my whole life i’ve been hiding, I still am. I’m not ashamed to admit that coming here every night terrifies me, that somebody I’ve known at some stage of my life will walk through the same doors I do and I’ll be put face to face with that, but it’s life. We all make our own mistakes, we all pave our own ways.”

Leah and Jordan still fought, you were secretly glad. It was clear that everything between them was done, which you hated to be happy about, You weren’t ready for that to be back to normal, you weren’t ready to feel like you were able to go back to the way life was when they were together. Lia mediated them, she balanced everything out and the two of you had managed to build a relationship. She was like the older sister you’d never had and you were happier to have her around knowing that she was happy to support you in the same way your moms would, even if she wasn’t living in the same house as you all anymore.

“I will never be able to properly apologise for how I acted, I’ll never be able to repay the people that found me at my lowest and still showed uo for me. I owe my life to those people, and I will spend every single day of my life being so thankful for the opportunity they have given me to have a second chance.”

Life was better, everything was better, you were recovering, you were learning. You felt more connected and loved by the people around you in your whole life. You didn’t feel like you had to seek out love anymore, you didn’t feel like you had to do something to earn it. Leah spent every minute of everyday doing small things to make you feel loved, dragging you out of the house to get coffee with her, reading with you every night before bed, sitting through you when the cravings were making your day harder, driving you to the beach when you felt like you needed fresh air, dragging you to physio appointments so you could hang out with your aunties, buying you fresh flowers to put in your room to make the dark memories of it a little bit nicer, helping you redecorate the space, letting you sleep in her bed when the tendencies started to burn all over your skin.

“I have a disease, I have a terminal illness that will forever impair my ability to live life normally. I will forever be attached to my past, and that’s really tough, I won’t ever be cured of my past, I won’t ever be able to say that I am free of my addiction, I will forever be tied to my decisions.”

Your therapist was helping you weed out all the bad, helping you to identify the different patterns of self destructive behaviour that you chose, helping you to make better decisions for yourself, decisions that didn’t end in you destroying everything you’d worked for.

“I’m an addict, we all are, we all know what it feels like to be plagued with our past. We all get up here every week and speak about our demons, because we all get it. We get what it feels like to lose everything, we all understand the terror that crosses over a persons face when you overdose, or tell them that you’re using, or when they wake up across from your hospital bed. We’re all going through our own shit, we’re all struggling everyday. I struggle everyday, because I’m an addict, for the rest of my life I will struggle because I’m an addict, but there isn’t anybody who understands me better than all of you. I’ve been sober for two months, there have been relapses, there have been struggles, there has been pain and so much for me to be ashamed of. There has been so many positives though, there has been so much good, so much happiness, so many good moments. I don’t believe that everything happens for a reason, there is too much bad in this world for me to believe in that, but I do believe that this experience has made me a better person, it’s made me stronger, its made me more resilient. The past two months have been some of the best parts of my life, and i intend for the rest of my life to be the same. This chip means a lot to me, but it’s the progress that makes all of this better, knowing that I’ve left parts of me behind that will now stay behind me forever.”

You looked down at the chip in your hands, the little bronzey coin that was so small but felt like it was bigger then the world to you. You smiled at the group of people around you, nodding your head once again before walking towards you sponsor and giving them a hug. It felt good, like a big weight had been lifted from your shoulders. You’d never spoken much in meetings, you were more than happy to hear other peoples stories, but tonight had been special to you. You’d thought about what you were going to say, much of it being what you’d talked about with your moms earlier in the week during family therapy. It had been hard, talking to your moms so openly about how you felt, but it was something you were becoming better at as the days passed.

You stayed around for the coffee and biscuits, talking with the people that you’d grown close to over the past month and a half in the mildewy church which smelt a little bit too similar to your great grandmothers living room.

You stuck around until the first few people started to trail out, before you made the decision it was time to get home. You said your goodbyes, farewelling your friends before dismissing yourself and making the walk out to the carpark, towards Leah’s car.

Driving had become your one piece of real freedom, it was the only time where you got to think to yourself. A couple of months ago, you would have found solace in continuous loneliness, you would have sat in the car for hours and been happy. Now though, you found yourself navigating your way back home as fast as possible, whilst still abiding by road rules.

The gravel driveway underneath the wheels of a car used to make you nervous, if anything it now made you feel anticipation.

You jumped from the car with a hop in your step, the bronze chip still clutched in your palm, the metal now warm against your skin after the acclimation of the metal to your body temperature.

You used your key to enter the door, smiling at the warmth and scent that you were met with as you untied your shoes and left them by the front door.

Leah was waiting for you in the kitchen, she always was, every night you decided to go to a meeting. You knew that she still worried, that she spent nights awake worrying about you. You’d lost count of how many times on the nights you spent in your own bed how often she’d come to check to make sure you were still lying there. She probably always would worry, you wouldn’t blame her if she did, you’d put her through a lot.

She brought you into a hug, the same hug as every night, it always lasted for a little bit too long, but you never brought it up.

She would hug you tighter every single time, it was clockwork.

“Lia’s come over for dinner, she’s cooked spaghetti for everybody, but she made bangers and mash for you special, no pasta.”

You smiled at your mom, letting her press a chaste kiss to your forehead before you followed her into the dining room, where dinner was already plated up and Jordan and Lia were already seated at the table.

Jordan sent a smile your way as you sat down, things were still rocky between the two of you, it was never going to be perfect, it was never going to be as good as before, but you were both doing the work to heal bits of it and that was what mattered.

“Hey bubba, how was your meeting?”

Most nights you answered the same, with something simple.

“Good, I got this today.”

You pushed the chip onto the table, pulling your phone out of your pocket so you didn’t have to witness their raw reactions.

“Bubba, we’ve talked about this, no phones at the table.”

You frowned, pushing your phone back into your trackpant pocket, and looking up at your moms.

“This is awesome bubba, we’re both so proud of you.”

Jordan had picked up the coin, looking at it with glazed eyes.

There had been a lot of that since you’d come out of rehab, a lot of crying, a lot more than you were comfortable with.

“I want you to keep it.”

Jordan looked up at you, mildly confused.

“Bubba, it’s your token, your progress, your hardwork, you should keep it.”

You shook your head.

“Mom has my one month one, I want you to keep this one. I’m doing it for you two, I’m trying to be better for you two, and I want you to know that I’m committed to it and that without you guys I wouldn’t be able to do this.”

You could see tears pooling in Leah’s eyes from the other side of the table, jordan’s own ones beginning to drip down her face.

“Anyways, it’s not big deal, let’s have dinner, I’m sure whatever Lia cooked up is better than anything you and mom could have managed.”

You tried to pass it off with some lighthearted humour, but based off of the tears on your parents face, it wasn’t doing much.

Jordan and Leah both reached over, taking a hand in each of yours.

“You know that no matter what happens, no matter where you go, who you become, what you do, how you live your life, you will always be our beautiful girl.”

[tibbycaps]

Do you know have any tips on how to draw a comic? As in simple style and easy to draw and consistent in redraw? I love your style and I can't help but wonder how you got here and if you could help. Thank you

okay sorry i left this in the inbox for a bit because. where to start lol! there's a lot of thought that can go into making comics i think. but i believe you're specifically asking about having a consistent art style and being able to draw the same character a lot over and over again, so i'll try to focus on that

i think a lot of consistency is just playing around with character designs and getting something you feel comfortable with. ill use grian as a good example because it took me a while to come up with a grian design that i liked. once i liked it, i was able to draw my grian a lot & very consistently. every time you draw a character, even if it's a little doodle, you gain that muscle memory for ur lines a little better, so you should doodle always as much as you can and never be afraid to try something new and experiment with your style

the pipeline

i think a good way to establish a character design that you really like to draw & can familiarize yourself with is by defining some key features about them. like in this image for example, my older grian designs don't really have anything about them that stands out to me. he wasn't rlly that fun to draw. but nowadays i think i have a distinct hairstyle & expression & glasses shape i give him, which are fun to draw. even if it's a tiny doodle with like, 15 strokes, you can still identify it as my grian design i think

something that i noticed (i didn't consciously do this but it just sort of happened as i was trying to make them all look different from one another) is that i assign different shapes to grian, cub and scar. these guys are good examples because 1. they're the three characters in my hotguy comics part and 2. they're the three guys i draw the most often

grian i tend to go for more rounded shapes, cub more squares/rectangles, and scar is more pointy and triangular. little things like this can help them stand out from one another and makes them fun to draw in my opinion. when i draw grian's hair i always have the hair come to a rounded point and is more neat/tidy. when i draw scar the hair is more spiky and wild. cub is sort of in the middle where his hair is more pointy, but is kept neat, which gives it those straight lines and right angles

TL;DR how i draw characters easily and consistently is make key features & shapes that make them fun to both draw & look at. and then draw them a lot

i hope that makes any sense, i like yapping about character design so hope you don't mind the long response lol ^_^

[flyingwargle]

july fanfic recommendations!

i read an obscene amount of fanfic last month with some that i must share with others, hence this post. i still over >100 fics to read so maybe this will be a monthly series? we'll see.

some fics are rated e!

sakuatsu

rotten work & other things worth doing t. 3k. atsumu and sakusa clean atsumu's bathroom together. that's it, that's the fic. lots of hurt/comfort and love and affection <3

The Sakusa Complaint Jar t. 3.6k. hilarious take on the swear jar, especially as atsumu learns he's more down bad for sakusa than he thought.

Appease and Assuage t. 5.1k. sakusa has a bad day and atsumu is there for him. very soft and raw with sakusa feeling off-kilter, and atsumu knows exactly how to help him.

come, morning light g. 5.2k. sakusa gets sick and tries to push atsumu away but eventually lets him in. very soft and domestic.

Here Is Your Verse m. 15.52. 2/2. atsumu ends his fwb relationship with sakusa because he caught feelings. they end up reconciling in the end.

when you hear hoofbeats t. 42.4k. 14/14. university au slowburn where sakusa has eds and he gets into a relationship with atsumu. be aware of the chapter warnings because it gets heavy but has a happy ending!

Stockholm Syndrome Isn't Real e. 50.2k 8/8. side sunaosa(komo). au where atsumu is a pro athlete but osamu is secretly a hacker and atsumu is kidnapped in his place. love the action, tension, and everything about this.

sunaosa

slip of the pen t. 6k. suna channels all his pining into award-winning books and osamu has never read any of them. the pining is top-tier in this.

moonsick m. 7.8k. fwb to lovers in suna's pov. is it really a sunaosa fic without one of them being emotionally constipated?

in the mood for love m. 8.3k. friends to exes to friends to lovers pipeline. i love the prose and osamu's thoughtful narration.

Litany in Which Certain Words Are Said t. 10.9k. 5 times osamu says "i love you" and 1 time suna says it back. oohh the yearning in this is top-tier!

a type of hunger m. 9.1k. i love the exploration of suna's hunger in this as an athlete and feeling like he's falling behind. good thing osamu is there for him <3

An Inconvenient Espionage e. 26.6k. 5/5. side sakuatsu. spy au, assholes to lovers. good action, good spy work, good tension 👀

somewhere to lay the flowers t. 25.6k. i've read a healthy amount of bastigod's works and trans suna has me in a chokehold. i also love magical realism and the mythology in this was woven wonderfully. suna's daughter is also a delight!

iwaoi

stumble into the sun e. 3.6k words of iwaizumi discovering that oikawa has a praise kink. it's also very soft and lovely.

Press '1' to Get a Call From Your Drunk Best Friend t. 5.4k. a drunk iwaizumi spills about his love and appreciation for oikawa. it's hilarious and fluffy and one of my favorites <3

HIPS DON'T LIE e. 8.1k. iwaizumi overhears girls talk about how good oikawa is in bed and is given a live demonstration from the man, himself.

i wanna ruin our friendship t. 18/18. oikawa comes to terms that he's in love with his best friend. features heavy themes, read the chapter warnings before proceeding. there's a happy ending!

bokuaka

Tell Me, Eurydice (How Could I Not?) t. 6.3k. lovely prose from akaashi's perspective about bokuto becoming captain and the idea of akaashi being his vice captain.

hoot if you've heard this one before t. 5.2k. bokuto and akaashi lose contact and find each other in university at a cafe that akaashi owns. lovely reconciliation fic and relationship recovery.

papers (the special, laminated ones) t. 5.3k. bokuto's parents have a tradition of laminating all his special papers and he isn't allowed to get them until "he's ready." i loved how sweet and fluffy this was, especially with his relationship with akaashi <3

Spaces aren’t Voids 7.2k. bokuto had every intention to propose until he lost the ring. a very fun and fluffy fic of a marriage proposal that doesn't quite go through but things go well in the end.

To Have and to Rail e. 12.4k. this is more humor than smut about akaashi's scientific exploration to match bokuto's stamina in bed. it doesn't go as well as he hopes (of course. good luck, akaashi)

onigiri miya: brand ambassadors (applications closed) g. 4k. bokuto is kinda slightly jealous of how close akaashi is to osamu because he's obsessed with onigiri miya. hinata feels the same way with kageyama. so what do they do? become brand ambassadors for osamu. absolutely hilarious and fluffy!

Kiss Me (Like You Wanna Be Loved) e. 56.6k. 27/27. oh the pipeline of strangers to roommates to fwb to lovers, i love it so. equal parts hurt/comfort, fluff, with the perfect amount of nsfw.

kagehina

soft serve t. 9.6k. hinata and kageyama drive an ice cream truck to fundraise money for karasuno's volleyball club. that's it, that's the fic.

Meme of the Day g. 4k. kageyama accidentally turns hinata into a meme. very fluffy and cute!

miscellaneous

yachi hitoka stop being so relatable challenge t. 4.1k. i loved this exploration of yachi being known and getting closer with the karasuno boys. she's such a precious cinnamon roll <3

north is everywhere. t. 12.1k. an exploration of kiyoko's development through high school, from being a manager out of obligation to continuing out of choice. also ace rep!

summer rolling down a cheek gen. 13.2k. a beautiful character study of kenma after the spring tournament as he thinks about the future and what comes next. beautiful prose and introspection.

[genericpuff]

Rachel's art regression actually makes me so sad because yeah she always had problems with anatomy but at least her style used to have personality back then

It's actually so fascinating to look at her older art because on the one hand, to her credit, she was INCREDIBLY prolific, she made SO MUCH STUFF to the point that we're STILL finding new stuff all the time, it's actually really impressive; but on the other hand, she also clearly didn't really have a focused direction, she was kind of just trying different things waiting to see what would stick, and eventually LO was what won the lotto. But unlike previous works where she could pick them up and drop them at her own time, she was contractually obligated to LO and it forced her to meet crazy strict deadlines, so I think in a way (at least in my opinion from what I've been able to glean looking at her work from the past several years) she almost lost a lot of what she was capable of doing back then because she proceeded to spend all of her time for YEARS working on LO.

I do think she'd be fully capable of returning to that older art style, but the reality is that that style also, like LO, existed through inconsistency. She was always trying and doing different things and you can tell a lot of it was rooted in both trial and error + indecisiveness. As much as she's talked about "streamlining" the production process of LO in previous interviews, it's also very clear in its inconsistencies - as well as her older work which was also inconsistent, for better and for worse - that she never actually learned how to streamline. Unlike artists who you can at least look at and understand they have a "process" that they follow every single time, she just does not seem to have that.

And that's not necessarily a bad thing, I think it worked well for her when she was doing freelance and standalone illustrations / conceptual art. The "personality" in her work back then was her just messing around with things and doing whatever looked good, and it often paid off through beautiful illustrations and concept designs.

But that sort of approach doesn't work so well when you're trying to do a long-form comic with unique characters and a distinctive art style which is being worked on by multiple different people. Something like LO demands workflow consistency and a production pipeline with steps to follow and standards to practice, and that's not something that Rachel has ever really been good at, even before she started LO.

[blughxreader]

Ok but I just wanna know how Bruce would feel about knowing that your two new brothers broke some boundaries in the a/b/o fic, like he’s over here trying to make you comfortable in your new family while Dick and Jason are are activating their step sis kink

Haven’t touched much on Brucie in my abo fics, but he’s complacent!

Before “reconnection session,” where Dick and Jason forcibly pack bonded w Batsis, he was growing increasingly worried.

The man’s so kind to the people he saves, but he CANNOT, for the life of him, figure out how to emotionally navigate around you.

He knows he’s the villain in your eyes, so his attempts at kindling a bond with you are immediately hindered. He's tried being gentle, he's tried giving your life comfortable structure and clear expectations, but there's still been no progress.

Bruce is very slow on forcing emotionally binding things on you.

So upon finding out what Dick and Jason did over the weekend, he was... apprehensive.

What made his acceptance easier was because it was DICK who did it. Dick, the universally-accepted heart of the Bats. If anyone knew how to ease you into the family, it was him.

Bruce wasn't happy, but he'd be lying if he said he wasn't a little relieved. (Especially when the pull of the pack bond started making you welcome their intimacy.)

Furthermore, when your body began resisting heat suppressants, Bruce knew he had to find a heat mate for you quickly.

As BEGRUDGINGLY as he accepted this new reality, he admits that having his sons, who he knows inside and out, be your heat mate is the best solution.

Jason has been working hard to curb his Pit Rage and bloodlust (and although he operates differently than Bruce, there aren’t any more duffle bags of heads). But he still has the core values and kindness he did as Robin.

Dick is a non-starter, honestly. Batman says that Nightwing is the cleaner, better version of Batman.

YET Dick also has a nasty habit of bottling up his emotions and being manipulative. Jason, who empathy and emotional perception for days (& who doesnt take shit from anyone), is a good counter.

Overall they’re a good combo that balance each other out. Bruce isn’t happy with the brother to heat-mate to potential husband pipeline, but its not the very worst thing that could happen.

As long as they put your needs before their own, he approves.

[anonimusunnoaniswriting]

𝑴𝑫𝑵𝑰 🎀Age in bio or blocked🎀

Clumsy Office Intern

ReaderxGetoxNanamixGojoxShoko.

Follow up to this with dubcon Sukuna x reader, find it here.

This is disgusting filthy smut but also a full fantasy. I do not endorse such behaviour. Colleagues should help each other but not like this. It is wholly imaginary and such occurences should remain in fanfiction and porn and these biomes only.

Thank you for your consideration. Also Sukuna has blue balls here.

A big thank you to @ominous-meme for proof reading and beta reading. Love you, you evil bastard.

Silly little new intern at the office… Somehow things just always went awry when you were involved. Those papers that went missing; the printer jamming; that time you tripped and dropped coffee all over the break room floor. Forgetting to submit your paperwork and delaying the production pipeline… 

So very clumsy, yet so eager to please. A cute little thing running around the office, your tight blue skirt hugging the curves of your ass. The billowy cream blouse you kept loosely tucked so it could hang and cover your pudgy belly. Your hair falling down your back in a pretty curtain. Trying so very hard to make up for all the teeny mistakes and accidents only to cause more as you go. So why weren't you fired yet? 

Well, simply because your seniors covered for you. After all, letting such a cute little thing slip out of their hands wasn't what they wanted at all. 

So Satoru helped you look for the missing papers, Suguru brought the mop out to clean the spill, Shoko showed you just where you could tap the printer to encourage it to move along and Kento – he was the worst of the lot – took the blame for you, not submitting your paperwork saying the task he gave you must have taken precedence in your mind and so he should have been clearer with you.  

So when your boss yelled at you two it was Kento who took most of it, much to your embarrassment. But he did so happily – after all, he knew you would be making it up to them. 

So now there you were in Shoko’s house, supposedly for karaoke, songs long forgotten and all of you with enough alcohol in you to guarantee a wicked hangover in the morning. And you were convinced that the best way to repay your kind senpais was with your sweet plush body.

Somehow you had been pulled onto Kento’s lap, back to him – “You were unsteady and I didn't want you to hurt yourself.” His hands that had started out resting on either side of your waist had slowly inched their way up to knead your breasts over the thin fabric of your blouse. Satoru – having long forgotten any sense of personal space – had his lips on the curve of your neck gently biting and sucking at the skin. Below, Shoko and Suguru worked together. While Shoko lifted your skirt and spread your legs, Suguru left a trail of soft kisses down the length of your inner thigh, creeping towards your panties, where you could feel yourself getting wetter. 

A hand reached into your panties and you heard Kento’s deep voice rumbling in your ear. “Feeling good, beautiful? Would you like it if Geto-senpai was doing a little more?” 

You nodded blushing like a tomato. Satoru, feeling left out, started tugging at your tucked blouse, still nuzzling into your neck. 

You could feel his thick cock pressing against your thigh and he whined, “You smell so fuckin’ good my lil’ intern…Delectable…You should taste her Shoko…”

The woman’s wet tongue licked a stripe up the other side of your neck, landing at your ear where she gently bit your earlobe and began to suck.  

All the attention was making a warmth bloom in your abdomen that slowly creeped down to your panties, where Suguru had found a home, laying his head on your thighs and nibbling and sucking at the skin. 

Shoko pushed your skirt high, bunching it around your waist. Her fingers gently circled your clit, taking care not to touch it directly. And Satoru had given up on untucking your blouse and simply got Kento to unbutton it for him instead. Your once saviour now attacked your neck with fervour, grinding his hard cock against your ass, and Satoru’s brilliant blue eyes locked onto yours as he kissed his way up your stomach and pulled down a bra cup to take your pebbled nipple between his lips. 

A hiss escaped your teeth as you felt him lightly bite down on it and simultaneously, Shoko pushed your panties aside for a long wet tongue to prod at your core. “Aahh- Geto-senpai!” You couldn't help but squeal, as his tongue explored the sensitive flesh around your pussy. 

You felt the other cup of your bra being pulled down too as Shoko began to kiss and lick at the erect nipple. You wanted to move. To touch them. To feel them the way they were feeling you. But both Satoru and Shoko had effectively pinned your arms against the couch. 

Satoru’s eyes reflected the ever changing light from the autoplaying karaoke videos, glinting mischievously. You had never felt so many hands on you. Despite experimenting in college, you'd been limited to one threesome at best. Every touch lit a fire under your skin.

Below you Kento’s breathing was getting heavier; it was almost like grunting now. He was the only one who was trapped, unable to work you, save for softly thrusting up into your ass, and the teasing was getting to be unbearable. 

A single look at Shoko had her pull away the duo from you for a second and she lifted you from Kento’s lap and placed her lips on yours,  soft and tasting of cigarettes. You lapped at her tongue gingerly, placing your hands on her breasts. Kento took the chance to unbutton his shirt and unzip his work slacks to pull out his cock from its restraint. Then he called to you, “Do you want to sit on it?” 

Your wide eyes and enthusiastic response made them all chuckle. Such a sweet little intern; of course they wanted to help you out. No other office should have a perfect little girl like you. And the mistakes – those could be easily handled with time. 

You went over to Kento who undid your skirt and tugged down your panties. You were going to straddle him face-to-face but the man stopped you. “Your senpais would like to see every little expression you make while I fuck you on my cock, baby girl. Is that okay?”  You nodded. 

Careful not to hurt either of you, you sank onto the thick girthy member standing at attention. Satoru and Suguru watched you with bated breath as you took all of Kento’s length, palming their own cocks over their pants. Kento allowed you to take the lead. His large hands splayed out over your thighs offered the support you would need. You were already so wet but he was large; filling you up well.

You began to move, testing the waters; all the grinding had left Kento sensitive, and he growled spurring you on even more. “Fuck- just like that baby girl!” Shoko kneeled in front of the two of you, splaying her tongue out onto your clit and letting you rock yourself on her tongue. 

You felt so stretched, about to snap at any moment. Kento pulled your blouse off your shoulders and unhooked your bra, now thrusting up into you himself. Shoko reached up to knead your soft breast once again, rubbing down the bites previously left by Satoru; whom your moans proved to be too much for. Ridding himself of his trousers he took your hand that had found its way to Shoko’s head tugging on her hair and made you wrap it around his length; long and slowly getting harder. 

From the other side Suguru took the opportunity to squeeze your cheeks to open your mouth and you hungrily swallowed his cock. Small twitches let you on to how much he was enjoying it. “So fukin’ good baby,” he moaned, carding his fingers through your hair. 

The coil in your stomach began to tighten, every feeling blurring into one. Kento’s voice cut through the heady moans and gasps; he seemed to be having trouble forming words too. “I’m close. You feel so good around me baby girl. Keep fucking bouncing like that.” There were hands on you – you didn’t know whose – feeling up and down rubbing you. Shoko’s tongue working over your clit. A mouth on your tit sucking and nibbling as your hand stroked Satoru hard and fast now. He was the first to spill, sticky white ropes painting your hand as he twitched and emptied his release, making a mess around you.  Your release chased right after, and you threw your head back in a cry, vision going white as you came sloppily onto Shoko’s tongue, creaming around Kento’s cock. 

Kento and Suguru pulled out of you, still intact, and Shoko smirked at the men from between your legs. “I say we take this to the bedroom, don’t you think so, gentlemen?” 

Your eyes widened, and Shoko laughed, “Surely you didn’t think we’d be done so quickly…” 

On Monday, when Sukuna Ryomen entered the office, sighing at another week of work, his eyes fell on your lovely form. As your boss, he knew there were certain boundaries he shouldn’t cross but looking wouldn’t be any harm…or so he told himself.  He noticed, however, that your eyes never left your four coworkers. If only he had known just how his team had spent their weekend …

AN: hi. Just wanted to say this was inspired by this uquiz result I got. I have no recollection of what the quiz was about nor how to get back there so oops. But I had this screenshot saved and thought up this ridiculous scenario.

[babygirlbites]

Okay thank you and I won't! Now... Imagine being Leah's Imprint and feeling that draw before she changed, leading you to be her very best friend rather than a lover for when she was with Sam... And perhaps to you legitimately threatening Sam once he broke her heart.

It could be kinda funny if that is the one thing non of the Pack knows - that you legitimately scared Sam when he had just imprinted on Emily? Bonus points if he has to act like nothing happened around you because you are always with Leah now, and aren't shy about that fact.

(I know this is weird, I just want to kinda punch him in the face or scare him.)

Best Friends to Lovers Pipeline Headcannon (Leah Clearwater)

Normally not a BF2L kind of girl but this ask was just too good to miss

• the boys on the Rez used to pull your hair when you were a kid and call you names, typical childish tourment we all go through

• that is until the day another girl lands a surprisingly strong punch to a juvenile Paul Lahotes face to defend your honour

• Ever since that day you and Leah had been by each others side, inseparable

• sue would often joke that you were the second daughter she never had - and for a long while it did feel that way

• you shared everything; toys, secrets, clothes

• as the two of you grew up, your friendship often dwindled and reconciled

• you had different classes, made new friendships seperate too eachother

• as the dreaded teens and hormones hit the two of you would sometimes argue, both storming home to your respective mothers and crying to them

• but these arguments never lasted; being away from Leah felt as abnormal to you as trying to swim against a current

• Sue would ring your mom and they would laugh at how silly you both could be; their life experience meaning they could see things the two of you could not

• your parents never fretted or worried, they knew you two were never far from making up and returning to being thick as theives

• unlike the other girls in class, you two weren’t boy crazy, neither you or Leah had any interest in sharing your prescious time with boyfriends

• and why would you? You both had everything the other needed

• this all changed of course when Leah caught Sam’s eye

• She hurried home one day, forcing her younger brother from the family landline to ring you, to tell you all about her new obsession

• and you didn’t get it; the twist in your gut or the sick feeling in the bottom of your stomach at your friends new happiness

• you didn’t quite understand yet why you had such an issue with the boy; he had done nothing wrong to you

• you saw them together multiple times but still something was just so wrong with it all too you; everything was about Sam now

•”me and Sam did this…” , “did you know Sam…”, “Sam says he thinks…”, “me and Sam are going to …”

• at first you thought it was just a fear of being replaced; sure, Leah was spending less time with you now that she had a boyfriend, but she still made a furious effort to see you and was dedicated to keeping up your weekly sleepovers

• this confusion was cleared the first time you saw them kiss

•it was like being punched in the gut, a feeling of jealously so intense you had nothing to compare it too

• and it terrified you

• you pulled away from Leah, sleepovers turning to bi weekly, then monthly and then none at all

• you started going out with your other friends, taking your fake id to the closest town and partying with them

• for maybe the first time in your life you were being a “normal” teenager, acting out and mixing with boys

• you kissed boys, girls - anyone who would distract you from your best friend

• trying to be a promiscuous party girl felt like trying to fit a circle into a square shaped hole, but it at least gave you something else to use your time on instead of pining for your lost connection with Leah

• that was until you woke up to rocks at your window, Leah at your door, with tear stained cheeks and red rimmed eyes

• she told you how Sam had left her, the ins and outs and the gory details, every new tear down her cheek made you wince

• “I don’t even know why I came here, I just had to see you” she admits, and you want to get on your knees and beg for her forgiveness, to take back every second you spent pulling away from her

• instead you pull her into your arms and hold her there while she sobs

• days later you turn up to Sam’s house, unsure as to why you’re there or what you plan on doing, but as soon as you see his face behind the door screen your words just tumble out

• you lay it all on him; how vile you think he is, how wrong he is for leaving Leah for her own cousin

• he just takes it, staring down at you with wide eyes

• when he finally speaks you expect him to give some kind of pathetic apology, but instead he tries to tell you he didn’t have any control over his situation

• you’ve struck him before either of you even realise what you’ve done

• admittadly it’s a fairly shabby throw, but your nails catch his skin and break it

• you turn on your heels and storm away before Sam can even gather his thoughts enough to realise he’s just been slapped

• it’s a bitter sweet senario; Leah is more broken than you’ve ever seen her, but in some form you have your best friend back

• you never explain yourself for why you put the distance in place, and if Leah wonders she never bothers to ask

• Sue starts seeing you again, the sleep overs restart

• a strange sense of equilibrium sets in

• that is, of course until Harry dies

• and then she’s just gone

• you don’t even see Leah at the funeral; you hold Sue extra tight that day, hugging her for herself and her daughter

• and oh god do you miss her

• but every text you send is left unanswered, every time you visit the house there’s a new excuse for why you can’t see her

• it’s a month and three days before you see her again, and yes, you had counted

• it’s your turn to storm up too her;demanding an explanation right there in the fresh fruit aisle of the supermarket

• you have no clue what you expected her to say or do; but she just stares at you, openly gawking

• ironic really; you haven’t changed at all since the last time she saw you and she had grown about a foot and toned up massively - you can’t help but subconsciously search for steroids in her basket

• you find out much later that this was the moment Leah imprinted on you, right there and then as you sounded off about how lonely you had been and how much of a bitch she was for leaving you like that

• the dynamic shifted again between the two of you; it was like she couldn’t quite stay away now

• everywhere you went Leah was nearby, never really there but just hovering in the vacinity

• a walk on the beach? Leah’s in her car is at the car park

• youre out with friends? Leah is on the other side of the bar trying to not get caught watching you

• in the end she turns up to your house again, stones at the window and all

• it’s different this time, you’ve always been able to tell if Leah is nervous - you know the twitch and the lack of eye contact, traits she has carried from a very young age

• she shows you what she is and she’s scared

• she knows this is a huge thing, but she can’t stay away from you anymore

• and now YOURE scared, your best friend is a massive wolf and you’re just supposed to be cool with that?

• you run, still in your slippers from the house, and lock the door behind you

• you know the could catch up if she wanted too but Leah has always loved you too much to do that to you

• she knows you need time, and although she’s scared to death that you’ll never come back, she has to let you go

• and you do come back

• this time you’re at her window

• she’s rough, bags under her eyes and her hair is lank like it been washed since she last saw you

• (it hasn’t, she’s been so physically unwell by being rejected by you that she couldn’t eat, sleep or take care of herself)

• Seth had tried to get his mom to call the doctor but Sue just pushed him off; she knew her daughter and the truth behind her intense need for your company

• she knew the imprint bond, even if Leah hadn’t told her in so many words

• and most importantly, she knew you

• Sue had always known that no matter what, you and her daughter were fated to come back together every time you fell apart

• and as always, she was right

• Leah explained the imprint too you, selling it as a friendship bond as to not scare you too much

• you weren’t stupid, you knew the tribes tales, told around bonfires since you were young

• but you let her have you in her life how she needed you, you’d be there for her in whatever form she needed you

• you and Leah definitely have “ you fell first but she fell harder” vibe

• falling in love romantically is inevitable for both of you, but it does give Sue some giggles to watch you both fight it at every turn

• Sue has always had a soft spot for you, knowing you were destined to be part of her family somehow

• Harry used to bet that you would fall for Seth and always be around that way, but she was all too happy to admit that he was wrong

• you brought her daughter back to her, Leah could truly be herself in your company

• when you are around the pack there’s the added level of awkwardness by being around both Emily and therefore Sam

• your history is unspoken, not even Leah knows what happened that night you turned up on his doorstep

• the rest of the pack are left to theorise why Sam seems so uncomfortable when you’re in a room with just him, why he jumps slightly everytime you move too fast

• they find it hilarious, it is hilarious - someone as small as you in comparison to the literal leader of the pack

• Leah tries to ask you about it numerous times but you just bat her off and say you don’t know what she’s talking about

• and she lets it go, because she doesn’t feel any sort of way towards Sam anymore, her heart healed by you

[healinghyunjin]

Ice

Pairing: Hwang Hyunjin x Reader (fem)

Genre: romance, angst, fluff, smut; mafia!AU, strangers-to-lovers, 18+

Word Count: 4.5k

Warnings: swearing, mentions of violence, mentions of blood; explicit sexual content, unprotected sex (seriously guys - don’t do what they do here, in terms of protection or consent), loss of virginity (graphic)

Author’s Note: Hello everyone! I’ve been gone for a really long time, I know - but I’m finally making my way back to this blog and to writing again. I have a few fics in the pipeline, but here’s my first new release! It’s a very different style/genre/length from what I’ve posted here before; it’s a bit darker in tone and less fluffy (all’s well that ends well though lol) - so feedback and thoughts are extra extra appreciated!

Summary: Sheer good looks aside though…you’d seen his face on the news. What was his name? You remembered that it was something elegant, soft on the lips - a name that didn’t seem to fit the cruel, hardened mafioso it belonged to. 

It was only when those cold icy eyes locked with yours, gaze chilling even from all the way across the bar, that it finally came to mind. 

Hwang Hyunjin. 

You looked pathetic, you supposed. 

Sitting painfully alone, ignored in the midst of this packed club, idly stirring a drink you hadn’t taken a sip of, hadn’t even wanted in the first place. Your so-called date had foisted it on you…before he realized that plying you with alcohol wasn’t going to affect his chances of getting any either way, and quickly left to try his luck elsewhere. 

And it was just as well. You really weren’t cut out for this type of stuff. You’d never been, honestly - you’d gone to a few parties in college, gone on even fewer dates, and done nothing that ended up with you going home with someone. Your roommate had finally had enough though, and that’s how you’d ended up here. 

“Go have some fun for once,” she’d said. “You need to lose that V-card before your tits start sagging, love.” And before you could even think of an adequately snippy response, she’d thrown a phone number at you - a friend of a friend of a friend, supposedly - and sashayed out of your room, hollering behind her that she’d be out all night, so you could bring anyone you wanted home with impunity. 

You’d snorted, shaking your head. You? Bringing someone home? With your dating skills and general luck, you were probably gonna bring home a serial killer - if you even managed to hit it off with anyone in the first place. 

Still, you’d let her squeeze you into a pretty pink bandage dress and ridiculously high heels and send you on your way...just for it to go exactly as you’d thought it would. 

With a sigh, you pushed yourself off your seat, attempting to wade your way back to the bar. You could do with a tall glass of water - and maybe something a little stronger, something that you actually liked - before retreating back to the sanctuary of your own four walls and soft bed. 

Even in the hazy lighting of the club, punctuated only by disorienting strobes, it was obvious that there was something strange going at the bar. The sweaty, suffocating cluster of humans on the dance floor came to an abrupt end, with no one occupying the empty space right next to them. This section of the bar was jarringly, eerily empty, seats and counter all open - except for four men, lounging about like they owned the place. 

You knew better - you really did. But still - you found yourself pushing closer and closer, straight to the outskirts of the crowd, until you could get a clear view. Three of them were turned away from you, leaving you nothing to see other than broad shoulders and backs, straining against tight leather jackets. As for the fourth, however…

The first thing to catch your eye, unique and beautiful, even in the dim lighting, was a gorgeous black and blue tattoo, winding its way around the neck of its equally striking owner. Sheer good looks aside though…you’d seen his face on the news. What was his name? You remembered that it was something elegant, soft on the lips - a name that didn’t seem to fit the cruel, hardened mafioso it belonged to. 

It was only when those cold, icy eyes locked with yours, gaze chilling even from all the way across the bar, that it finally came to mind. 

Hwang Hyunjin. 

You knew you should probably stop. Men like that hurt people for just glancing at them the wrong way - and here you were, having a staring match with the most ruthless of them all. 

And that’s how you found yourself in the alley behind the club, pinned against the rough brick wall - with Hyunjin pressed between your legs. He was everywhere - his lips ravishing yours with hot, predatory kisses; one hand hungrily palming your breasts, the other hiking up your dress, trailing along your sodden panties. He moaned a curse against your lips as he felt just how wet you were for him. 

“You’re ruining me,” he groaned, hand hastily dragging away from your chest to wind around your waist, pulling your lower half against his firmly. “Tell me what you want, angel,” he murmured before breaking off into a hiss, clutching at you as your hips bucked against his. 

“More,” you moaned. Your untouched, unexperienced self was overwhelmed by this man. You were stone-cold sober, your drink abandoned untouched back at the bar, but you were positively high off him, addicted to the way he was making you feel. “Whatever you want to do to me - just more.”

He laughed, pressing a surprisingly tender kiss to the side of your head. “You’re gonna regret that.” And he immediately made to deliver on his promise. You gasped as he flicked the embarrassingly large wet spot marring your panties, nail dragging tortuously against your clit, before drawing aside the gusset, running his fingers through your wet folds. 

You couldn’t help but whimper. “Please.”

“Begging now, huh?” He barked out a laugh, but seemed ready to comply. As he dove in for a messy, passionate, soul-consuming kiss, long fingers of one hand still working your clit, you faintly heard the metallic clink of his belt buckle, the rustle of his clothing, the small sigh of relief he let out against your lips as he freed his cock from its confines. 

“Last chance, angel,” he groaned out, head falling back in pleasure as his hard, hot length slid against your folds. “I’m not gonna hold back after this.”

“I still want it - want you,” you whispered back. “I can take it.”

Those plush lips curved into a wicked, almost malicious smirk. “Good.” And with no further ado, he slammed himself home deep in your cunt.

A soft cry of pain escaped your lips. It stung - but within a second, past the initial resistance, the pain had ebbed away, replaced by a curious pressure, a blossoming sensation of fullness unlike anything you’d felt before.

Hyunjin, however, froze. 

You knew he’d probably felt that thin tissue - your so-called “innocence” - give way. With ominous slowness, he slid his fingers to the place where you were connected and lifted them up to the light. In the harsh gleam of the streetlights above, the faint traces of blood - your blood - marring his pale skin was obvious. 

And when he looked at you again, those ice blue eyes were mask-like, unreadable once again. 

“You know who I am, don’t you, sweetheart?” The endearment sounded like a curse in his mouth; his tone - stiff, chillingly empty - sending a small shiver down your spine. All you could do was nod, silently. 

“Then you must be out of your fucking mind,” he hissed, fingers biting painfully into the meat of your hip, body still pressed heavily into yours. “The hell are you doing giving someone like me something this precious?”

“It’s…it’s not though?” 

Hyunjin raised a challenging eyebrow at you.

“I mean…yes, I’ve never been with anyone before, but why does it matter?” Your words came out in a gasp, almost jumbled - mind and body craving what had been so abruptly interrupted, the pull strong enough for you to blurt out your true feelings…all of them. “I want you, Hyunjin - I want you, and I’ve never wanted anyone as much as I want you right now.” 

The iciness of Hyunjin’s gaze wavered, melted just a smidge. His death grip on your hip morphed into a heavy, possessive pressure; his thumb started rubbing circles into that sensitive crease separating your thigh from your waist. “Why?”

You could barely string the words together at this point - but you knew they had to be said. “I…I was alone, you were surrounded by your boys b-but - something made me feel like you were the only person in this club who felt the same…the same loneliness that I did.”

At that, his fingers stilled. Hyunjin’s eyes searched yours carefully - looking for what? You didn’t know. But whatever he found…it seemed to be satisfactory. For those long arms wound tightly around you once again, hiking you higher against the rough wall.  

“Fine. You can have it your way, angel.” And as his head dipped to your neck, lips bruising the signs of his lust onto your skin, a choked moan spilled forth from your lips as those slender hips snapped into yours - pushing his cock further into you, balls deep, stretching your sensitive walls beyond belief.

“So fucking tight,” he murmured hoarsely, now driving himself into you in a steady, punishing pace. “How much would it take to fuck you loose for the first time, hmm? Maybe I should take you home and test it out,” he mused, a chuckle just this side of unhinged bubbling forth from his lips. “Tie you down and fuck this sweet little pussy until it’s swollen and red and aching.” Even just the thought made you involuntarily clench down on him, drawing what was almost a growl out of his throat. “Such a good girl.”

And you? You were lost. With just a small shift in angle, Hyunjin’s cock was now sliding right against that sweet spot, deep inside you, his pubic bone grinding deliciously against your clit. The feeling of his lithe body caged in between your thighs, crushing you in against the wall; the sinful trail of fire his mouth was leaving along the delicate skin of your neck, your throat…if you’d known that this, this is what sex was like - you would’ve had it long, long ago.

…But a little voice told you that - this might just be sex with Hyunjin that felt like this. 

And with that, it wasn’t long before you shattered in his arms, heels digging into his back as the peaks of your pleasure rolled over you - only to scream as Hyunjin’s large hands slammed you down against him, impaling you fully on his cock as, with a throaty groan, he filled you full, hot cum splattering against your sore, sensitive walls. 

There was a beat of silence, with only the sounds of heavy breathing to break the still. As you leaned your head back against the wall, struggling to come back down from your high, you could feel Hyunjin’s gaze burning through you. 

“Beautiful,” he whispered, as if just to himself. You blinked your eyes open to see him watching you - but something about the way he was looking at you had changed. Where before they’d been fiery, filled with unambiguous lust, desire, cockiness - that frenzy had given way to something more…profound. Like he was trying to see you, see through you - see you for who you really were. 

You hated to break the moment - but now that you weren’t burning up with lust, the very physical ramifications of being fucked up against a wall were making themselves known to you. You danced your fingers over Hyunjin’s collarbone. “Can you…”

He snapped out of whatever trance he was in, hands surprisingly gentle as they cupped your thighs, supporting your weight as he let you down from the wall. When you stumbled on landing, the strength in your legs failing you, he steadied you against him. 

“Does it hurt?” His voice was gruff, clearly masking some emotion he didn’t want you to see.

“Pretty sore, yeah,” you admitted with a wry smile. “But hey - makes it more memorable, right?”

It seemed like he wasn’t expecting that flippant of a response from you, for the next thing he blurted out was - “Romantic fool.”

You could tell he hadn’t meant to be so abrasive, a cloud of regret immediately passing over his face, but you knew what he meant. 

“It’s okay,” you told him, shrugging it off. “I know I am and that I shouldn’t-”

You stopped when you felt soft fingers under your chin, lifting your head back up. Hyunjin looked deep into your eyes, the corner of his plush mouth upturned in a crooked smile. “It takes one to know one, angel.”

He bit his lip, hesitating. It looked he wanted to, was about to say something more - but then…

“Well, well…and what do we have here? A stray dog rutting in an alleyway, tsk tsk...” An arrogant, menacing voice called out from the darkness, accompanied by the sound of slow, deliberate footsteps - of more than one person. 

“Fuck,” Hyunjin spat out, blue eyes narrowed in icy fury. “These assholes don’t know what’s good for them.” You watched as he transformed in front of you, back into that cold, dangerous - honestly sexy - mafioso. 

“You need to get out of here, angel - I don’t want those fuckers to get even a glimpse of you.” Hyunjin passed his hands over you, quickly, efficiently straightening out your clothes and his. “Can you do one thing for me? Run back to the boys and tell them that the fucking pirates are sailing in. I’m gonna need backup here.” You nodded quickly, knowing you - and he - didn’t have much time. 

Just as you turned to run away though, Hyunjin caught your hand in his, stopping you. “I…I’ll come find you, okay?” His voice was pitched low, serious in tone. You could tell he meant what he said…at least, for now. You murmured a soft agreement before making your escape. 

Luckily, Hyunjin’s boys were still where you left them. You decided to go up to the one in the middle, the one with muscles straight out of a GQ magazine, who was watching you waddle back into the bar with a knowing smirk plastered across his face. 

Bicep Boy - you might as well call him that - spoke first. “Boss still recovering?” 

You felt yourself flush with embarrassment. For a brief second, you wondered what they thought of you - wondered how many times they’d seen Hyunjin do this exact thing. The thought sent a sudden shudder of jealousy through you - but that wasn’t important right now.  

“No - he, um, he sent me to get you guys. There’s a few guys outside…and he wanted me to tell you that, uh, the pirates are sailing in?”

You startled back as their relaxed, nonchalant attitude disappeared in a flash, the three of them jumping to their feet immediately. “Fucking hell,” the man in front of you hissed, looking pissed as he fished around for a tip to throw on the bar. “Those motherfuckers just can’t stay in line, can they?”

“Wait…” the man next to him, almost drowning in a fancy mink coat, piped up abruptly. “If hyung sent her back to us…does someone need to walk her back?” The three men paused for a second, the weight of their gaze prickling as they turned to look at you again, size you up. 

“No no,” you protested. “I’ll take care of myself - they couldn’t have gotten a good look at me anyways. I’d rather you go back Hyunjin up...make sure nothing happens to him.”

From their approving looks, you’d clearly passed some sort of test. “Take this then,” the third man, silent until now, shoved a ball of fabric into your hands - Hyunjin’s abandoned coat. “That dress stands out too much - and I’m sure the boss’ll be getting it back from you soon.”

And with a surprisingly warm, friendly smile - he and the others were off. 

You were left standing at the bar, with an expensive, bulky coat in your arms and the eyes of most of the club on you. With nothing else to do, you slunk your way out of the club, just as you had looked forward to doing just a short while ago…

But why did it now feel so disheartening?

And…here you were. Alone, at home, on a weekend night - again.

You’d just curled up on your couch, idly watching TV - not because you particularly wanted to, but more because sleep had deserted you. Every time you closed your eyes, all you could feel was the ghost of Hyunjin’s touch - his body against yours, his lips, his fingers on your body. 

You shook yourself off. Maybe some ice cream would help, you mused, shoving off the blankets you’d just tucked yourself into to get up. 

But then - the doorbell rang. 

For a second, you froze. You and your roommate never really had visitors…and the fear that maybe someone had followed you home from that alleyway flitted through you. 

On the other hand though…what if it was him?

Taking a deep breath, you made your way to the door. Keeping the chain hooked, you slowly pulled it open, just a crack - and were immediately rewarded with the sight of those already familiar, icy blue eyes. 

Hyunjin. 

“I’ll…I’ll leave this second if you want me to,” he started, fingers fidgeting with his bracelets. “But I just felt that we left some things…unfinished back there.”

You agreed, but even if you didn’t - you weren’t going to miss out on this. 

Quietly, you let him in. Even though you were positive shit went down after you left, Hyunjin looked perfectly fine - statuesque, just as before. When you gestured to an armchair, he shook his head. “I think I want to stay standing for now.”

Your heart sunk. Maybe seeking you out, coming all the way to your apartment…wasn’t to make the gesture that you thought. Maybe this was just an apology, an attempt to tie things off between you, neatly, permanently, with a bow on top. Maybe…

Shuffling slowly back to your couch, you sat down and waited for him to speak. 

“I…I don’t do this often. I know what it might look like, but…I don’t really sleep around, chase after women just looking for a quick fuck. That’s not who I am…and that’s not what I want you…or this to be.”

At your sharp inhale, he took half a step away from you - his eyes solemn, searching yours to see what he could find. He bit his lip. “This is so selfish of me, I know…but I’d-I’d like to see you again. Take you out somewhere, more formally…as you deserve.”

“Why is that selfish?” A little bud of hope had flowered in your heart…but you were still confused by his hesitance.

He took a second to respond. “You’ll be a target, you know,” he murmured quietly, gazing down at his clasped hands. “I know a lot of dark people - and they wouldn’t give a shit about…using you to get at me. Being seen with me, being with me…you’ll never feel safe again.”

Slowly, you stood up and walked over to him. Standing right in front of him without your heels, without the wall hiking you up against him, you had to tilt your head back to actually look at his face full on - though his eyes still wouldn’t meet yours. And so, you did, running your hands carefully up his arms to rest on his shoulders. 

“Then why do I feel the safest I’ve ever been, Hyunjin, standing here in front of you?”

At that, his head snapped up, finally looking at you directly. 

“I want to try this,” you told him, your voice calm and steady. “I would love to…do something more formal with you too. And…” your voice wavered, as you gathered your confidence in turn, “maybe you could stay with me for a bit tonight too?”

You wished you had a camera to capture how Hyunjin’s face lit up - how those plush lips curved, eyes crinkled up in a genuine, warm smile. “I would love to.” You felt your heart stutter, your own lips curving in response. 

“Well then,” you dusted your hands off, putting on a business-like air for him. “Let’s get you settled first. Want me to make you something? Or is there anything you want to make?”

“I’m useless in a kitchen,” he told you, cracking a sheepish grin. “But I can whip up a mean ice cream sundae.”

So, that’s what he did. You let him make you that sundae - which really was good. You sat side-by-side and watched three episodes of drama, sharing your ice cream in increasingly comfortable, companionable silence. Hyunjin didn’t need to know how much of that time you spent watching him, your lips quirking at just how caught up he got in the show.

You let him take you back to your bed, let him thoroughly, passionately destroy any innocence you had left with every weapon he had at his disposal - his fingers, his lips, his tongue, his cock. Once you’d gotten your fill of each other - once you let him take you and take you again until your cunt was sore and swollen, your thighs quivering from exhaustion - you laid there together in your bed - naked, your head on his chest, his arm tentatively, carefully wrapped around your waist. 

And then…he talked. About how he’d dreamed of being a painter, an artist one day…before his world as he knew it went up in literal flames. About how he would gladly kill - and die - for his boys, his strays, who’d banded around him, put their trust in him when he was nothing. About how being the boss, being the top was lonely - was stressful, painful and exhilarating, all at once. 

By the end, you could tell he was exhausted; his body had drifted down against yours, his head now cocooned against your breasts, and you both were doing your best to pretend the droplets of moisture on your chest were sweat. But still, he listened to you too, never making you feel like your problems - your purposelessness, your friendlessness, your inability to make your own dreams reality - were too mundane or unworthy, even compared to his. 

Finally, you let him pull your weary body against his, curl his lanky torso around yours. “I’ve never slept the night in someone else’s bed before,” Hyunjin offered up, voice soft and vulnerable in your ear. “That makes two of us,” you whisper back, running your fingers up and down the arm wrapped around your waist. He tugged you a little closer in response - and closer still as he fell asleep, taking you underneath with him. 

Part of you had been nervous about going to sleep - in case you woke up just to find that…this had all been a dream. That you were alone, as always, in your cold bed - that you had no lover to wake up to. 

Those fears were dashed the second you woke up and felt Hyunjin’s warm presence still behind you. You rolled over slowly - only to find him already awake, watching you with a small smile. He was a study of contrasts in the pale morning light: soft, pouty lips; mussed hair - bruised knuckles; dark, swirling tattoos. He was beautiful, and - at least, for this morning, for now - he was yours. 

You shoved him headfirst in to the shower, and while he cleaned up and squeezed himself back into those delectably tight clothes from last night, you worked your ass off to make a feast for breakfast. It was worth it though - at least, the shy eye smile, the soft “thank you” that he gave you in response...it was worth it. 

And that’s how your roommate found you when she came back: the two of you perched on your rickety kitchen stools, Hyunjin’s arm now wrapped comfortably around you as the two of you giggled over a drunk video - a music video? - Bicep Boy (Hyunjin had laughed at you, telling you his name was Changbin) and the other two had fucked around shooting last night. 

“Oh!” She gasped. You whipped your head around to watch her do a literal double take at the sight of you and Hyunjin. 

Hyunjin stood up with a yawn, deliberately stretching himself to his full height. “I was just leaving.” You bit back a grin - sure, he might be shy, introverted at his core…but when he wanted to, Hyunjin definitely knew how to put on a show. So you just smiled fondly as, with a lascivious little wink, he leaned down to give you a whopping goodbye smooch, with tongue for good measure. He’d clearly listened to your retelling of your roommate’s role in this whole ordeal. 

“Bye, angel. I’ll text you.” And with a poignant look and a final squeeze of your hands, Hyunjin was off. You almost wanted to pinch yourself as another test, again. But before that - you had something - or someone - to deal with first. 

“Is that…”

“Yes,” you nodded. “The date you set me up with…didn’t pan out, but I ran into Hyunjin at the same club.”

“Looks like you did a little more than run into him alright,” a small, teasing smirk on her face as she looked you up and down. “That’s funny though. I used to…see one of the other guys from SKZ, a long while back…” she trailed off, lost in thought for a second. “It’s a long story,” she sighed, “but anyways…” She shook her head, turning her attention back squarely to you. “You and Hwang Hyunjin, eh? How’d it happen?”

“It’s a long story,” you smiled back up at her, before taking a deep breath. If you’d gained any perspective from what you’d spilled to Hyunjin last night, it would be that the only person who could lift you out of your loneliness…was you. “Wanna talk about it over breakfast?”

She stilled for a second, but you watched happily as a slow smile crept across her face.

“Let’s do it.”

As you got up to make her a plate, you heard a relatively unfamiliar sound - your phone buzzing from not just one, but multiple texts.  

> Hyunjinnie: Same time, same place this Friday?

> Hyunjinnie: If I can make it that long without you…

> Hyunjinnie: ❤️

You didn’t think your heart still had flutters left to give after everything that had happened…but here it was, flittering away. You responded in kind, telling Hyunjin you’d be counting down the days on your end too - and that was the honest truth. 

You’d just sat down again, about to pick up your fork, when your phone let out one final buzz. 

> Hyunjinnie: (Oh, and bring that roommate of yours too. I’m sure your ~Bicep Boy~ would be happy to see her 😉)

It took everything you had in you to keep a delighted giggle from spilling out past your lips. You eyed your roommate, who had a faraway look in her eyes as she methodically buttered her slices of banana. 

Things sure were gonna be interesting around here - and you were so looking forward to keeping it that way. 

[eluxcastar]

For the whole dottore basically adopting the reader, what would he do if reader got sick? And would reader call him dad, dottore or zandik?

Dadtore with his sick child

── ୨୧：il dottore & reader

୨୧﹑synopsis :: more dadtore but with germs this time (the first germs)

୨୧﹑genre :: fluff

୨୧﹑content :: gn reader, child reader, not proofread, also written at one am I'll edit in the morning 😭

୨୧﹑words :: 700

originally this was gonna be another ramble but I was like this could be cute let's write it. as for the name I actually have no idea largely because when I wrote child reader last time I wrote them intentionally without dialogue so I actually didn't even consider it but Dad feels like a very down the road choice

Zandik feels more familiar than Dottore but whether he'd want a kid running around calling him that to everyone is a different question. I think there's a definite Dottore to Dad pipeline

Perhaps you managed, no thanks to your infinite curiosity, to get into the things he'd tried to keep you from. Dottore thought he'd done everything he could possibly do, but children find a way. When you wake up in the middle of the night to him still up and about, he's surprised to find you look barely awake, unsurprising on its own, but you are unsteady and warm to the touch.

That's not good. You've never been sick before. Dottore pauses, hand practically glued to you as he tries to think of what to do. Should he run you a cold bath? Maybe he should leave you or warm you up more so that you can sweat it out easily. He's not even sure what's wrong with you yet.

You're sleepy, it seems, as you're passed out in Dottore's arms before he can even carry you back to your makeshift bed, breath softening against his skin as your head rests on his shoulder. It's such a natural way for you to settle by now, even after only a few months, that Dottore waits to let go. You feel too warm, too fragile. It is the polar opposite of how cold you were when he found you.

He sets you back in your spot on the couch and wraps your blankets tightly around you. Your face is flushed, and you still look far too addled.

Rest and a lot to drink are enough, but they certainly don't feel like enough as Dottore stares down at you, all curled up amongst your blankets. More than ever, you look like a pathetic newborn kitten stumbling about and too small to do anything but sleep and blink with great effort. It's all in an endearing way. Dottore can't have you dying on him, especially not to a fever, but there's little he can actually do to help you and little that says he should be. Fevers are the kind of thing you have to sweat out, often because they're fighting something else. Dottore knows that well.

"Did you touch anything you weren't supposed to?" he asks. Dottore doesn't recall a time at which you went poking around with a dedication to finding anything or that you didn't cut it out the moment he scolded you.

You slowly shake your head as you register his question. It reassures him, seeing as he can't find a reason to doubt that. You've had very few problems with honesty before today. You're trustworthy enough not to interrogate you.

"Then you got it from someone else," he concludes. "You're not uncomfortable?"

Again, you shake your head once the question sets in. That's the best you'll get as you are. Whatever this fever is trying to fight off is not something you found in a petri dish and probably came from your disagreeable habit of being far too welcoming to strangers in the lab. If nothing else, he can find comfort in the fact he won't spend the next few hours worrying if you've contracted a deadly disease or greatly repel properties of the abyss. You're still very safe right here where he's able to watch over you.

Dottore takes a moment to lay you down, a vaguely tender show of practically pushing you over as you've dozed off to sleep again in the time it takes him to act. Dottore collects the mess of blankets around you and pulls them over you, opting to keep you from getting cold unless you get worse or throw them off in your sleep. He finds his overcoat bunched at your feet and drapes that on top of the blankets too, your favourite item of comfort and what keeps you most warm.

Dottore sits beside you in the tiny space between your feet and the edge of the couch. There is just enough room for him. His hand rests against your leg as he waits, watching your chest rise and fall in a steady rhythm. He is pleased to see you sleep well despite the circumstances.

That coat had once been wrapped around you, cold and shivering, and it engulfed you with fabric to spare. Dottore doesn't mind sharing it with you now.

[echofromtheabyss]

So, if you want to understand the history of ND stuff in any useful kind of way you have to know that we talked about these things differently. Gen Xrs have a different generational experience and Boomers' is different still.

Prior to the 80s, NDs were really not a thing. The optic was almost entirely in terms of learning disability and intellectual impairment in the 70s.

ADHD - not autism - is really the first we see of anything resembling the modern ND consciousness, as "autistic" was a label reserved for children presenting with severe disability or at minimum, delay.

Autism in the 70s and 80s and before was not culturally adjacent to ADHD or giftedness, it was adjacent to conditions of severe intellectual impairment.

It's possible to be an 80s ADHD labeled autistic who gets good interventions *because lots of how ADHD was understood at the time, got absorbed by autism later.*

This is basically my story as a matter of fact, a lot of helpful support I got early was via the ADHD pipeline, and so ADHD *is* my "recognized early enough to get meaningful self understanding and meaningful support* narrative, which is a big reason I was ABLE to shrug off autism as a label for about 15 years, until the changing autism stereotypes caught up with me.

ADHD and early issues with visible LD etc are WHY I didn't end up in the "normal until hospitalized" optic that some autistics I knew ended up in, if they had *only* been seen as gifted. I was very aware of my stuff very early even if it was called something else and even if it will be called something else in the future, and it shaped my social choices, my career choices, etc.

Also there was the optic to Boomers and older that you really could just be a "normal" person or even a high performing "genius" who was just "a little slow as a kid." (There are many historical figures this actually applies to. "A little slow as a kid" may just be within a *normal* range of child development.) This is actually part of where many Boomers are coming from when they think a certain degree of autism is just normal.

Early labels in adults (whom we would now understand as high masking ASD-1) were more personal history than identity.

To Boomers and older, you were "mentally well" until you presented "mentally ill." There really wasn't anything like being ND as we presently understand. Also, the *very same optics* that got boys seen as gifted, invested lots of time and support into, etc, got girls into the clinical pipeline early. The real dx discrepancy between girls and boys in my generation and older is the degree to which cis het white rich boys were just allowed to not be anything at all while girls were immediately tagged as mentally ill or developmentally disabled with the very same presentation, even within the same family. My grandmother who was a victim of this, and heavily and deeply abused from early childhood, is the sister of my physicist uncle who was on the Manhattan Project and was odd but successful, had a wife and family, never labeled anything at all.

Lots of people we now see as autistic were just considered normal gifted people who then had a "nervous breakdown" after high school/entering the adult world.

It was possible to be totally ego-syntonic as an odd person until diagnosis, if you were in the 80s gifted pipeline, because if you were in a social set that was actually ALLOWED to be intelligent let alone gifted in the first place (i.e., an upper middle class person, with more weirdness optic allowed for boys) you likely weren't going to be diagnosed with ANYTHING unless you were Weird with a Capital W.

That I had any kind of optic besides just being Gifted is *because* despite high IQ, I was a poor academic performer, and *couldn't* mask well inside a school setting.

These are people without even that optic.

They literally were just seen as gifted, and it was assumed that - of course - highly gifted people were a little weird. Gifted optic in school meant access to a whole different social and academic pipeline consisting hugely of other people we would now understand as ND, so it's actually possible to come out of that being totally ego-syntonic, and never ever even seek diagnosis until something breaks.

If you're like my ex husband who ended up just going away to sea for years, and then becoming a programmer in a basement at a university, you might never get diagnosed with anything, especially if you never see yourself as the problem in any of your interpersonal interactions, and that was a FAR more common optic with gifted white Gen X and Jones ASD-1 boys than early dx was.

The thing for my generation isnt the degree to which boys were diagnosed over girls... quite the opposite, it's the degree to which smart white rich boys were just *allowed* to be odd and given tons of concessions *without* being labeled ANYTHING, because of the degree to which the culture saw that boy was probably a future curer of cancer or a future astronaut.

A chunk of the "NT [more likely, high masking autist] woman miserably married to ASD man" narrative on those websites like FAAAS is actually referring to men who don't have any diagnostic label whatsoever and don't understand themselves as the problem, if you actually read the stories.

Those guys don't get diagnosed until something actually breaks - like, their wife hauls them into couples counseling, or they have finally exhausted their supply of good will (many social compensations of gifted children stop working past one's 20s and that's actually when my dx happened too).

Interpersonal problems weren't enough for dx unless they actually bothered a person enough to seek help. Something has to break. You don't end up with a diagnosis because you're happy and adjusted, no matter how odd you are.

Please ask Boomers about nervous breakdowns because half the time this is referring to what we now understand as autistic burnout.

[hisaribi]

Reverse robins brainrot but not to the side even I expected

So Tim aged eighteen goes to circus with his father, because that was one of the last happy memories they had with Janet. Bruce also comes with sixteen years old Jason, who weren't in the field, just adopted by Bruce, because he uncovered student of his orphanage to criminal pipeline and was mostly training under Bruce and Damian to follow them, Damian is a part of covert operations team under the Justice League, he couldn't come because Arkham had an escape this day and he needed to come here to deal with it.

Apparently Mary Grayson remembered Drakes and specifically Janet, and seemed really sad that she died. Drakes and Graysons made a photo about ten years ago, and well, somehow they decided to make another photo together. Back than it was Mary, her brother Rick, his wife Karla and their son John, who at that time was six and didn't act on trapeze. Now they expanded with Mary's husband John and their child Dick. The kid was very enthusiastic, telling Tim he was allowed to family's routine for the first time (which was a lie, he just tells it to everyone who aren't really deep into the following circus circles on media or whatever, because people get worried if they hear he's been doing it for a couple of years already). But this time he was mostly to do some tricks in the begining with cousin John and at the end with his parents, because he was still getting better from a bad cold he had, and he was only allowed to act out the less risky parts of their show. Tim told him he would watch for his performance, even though this whole thing still left a bittersweet taste in his mouth, but the kid didn't need to know that. Dick was a very tactile kid and hugged Tim closely. What neither Drakes noted was how Dick stole Tim's wallet, and how cousin John got it back to exactly the same pocket. He promised not to tell parents, but for that Dick would have to bring him an ice cream after the show.

Tim and Jason were sort of friendly in a way that our father's get all over each other but not in the romantic sense and we have to awkwardly stand next to them while they talk to each other and catch up for literal hours. Jason also shared that Damian couldn't come, but was somewhat indifferent to that, because Damian had always called Jason a charity case, so their relationship were strained, he didn't know about the current Arkham escape, while Bruce did. They politely talked about school, circus and some tv show that was big lately.

From time to time they made jokes or comment about the act on stage, sometimes framing everything as a reference to some meme or show just because they could.

And then the Flying Graysons came, a closing act, and Tim told Jason about what he knew about the family and their youngest member, Jason sort of frowned about the kid this young being allowed to risk so much, but both just decided that circus people were crazy just like that.

And then they saw the family fall during the difficult trick Dick didn't participate in.

His only alive Grayson relative from the group was Rick, all the news were about it, and well, Mr Wayne was somewhat invested, and well, Tim followed news, all movements and threads, he almost ready to reason with his father to adopt Dick, because... there was some other player that didn't let the kid stay in circus' care, and it surely wasn't out of his best interests, because he ended up in juvenile.

And then somehow an alive relative resurfaces, a sister of Karla living in the Gotham, Harleen Quinzel. Mind you that she isn't Harley Quinn yet, even though she already works with Joker and other mentally unstable villains as an Arkham therapist, and while she's single, she can afford take a good care of a child. She didn't have a chance to meet him in person yet before all of that happened, but they were both aware of each other, and even talked like once over video call, mostly because Harleen's nephew John was showing her some moves and Dick also wanted to show off with his cousin who he loved dearly, so yes, they were practically strangers. She was to come to their performance, but got caught up in an Arkham escape attempt.

And yet she was his relative, even though they didn't share any blood, so she took him in. Aunt-in-law and all that.

And then the Joker and Harley era came, and while Harleen really tried to make sure Dick stays out of it, he was searching for ways to avenge his parents. So it all turned into a big mess. Tim followed what was going on, he learned that the kid everyone called Pierrot, after he got caught on camera doing a trick no even much of adult athletes could do, was Dick Grayson, and well, he didn't kill, but he acted as a decoy more than once, he taunted police, other goons, Batman and Wraith, while at the same time leading children away from the craziness and harm's way. Also he was as likely to help bad guys as he (though everybody thought Pierrot was a girl, and more than that, Harley and Joker's daughter) was likely to help good guys.

Was as likely to take victims to safety as to danger. Show vigilante and police a way to ruin Joker's plans as to lead them into traps. Do what he was told to do by Harley and Joker as to do exactly opposite.

He covered his face with two-sided black and white mask, one part was smiling. Some said that it could be understood what he was going to do by the way he tilted his head, but so far it wasn't ever accurate.

And then Harley and Joker got caught and put to Arkham. At that point Tim tipped Batman on who the kid possibly was, and he told that to Jim, because having a tiny child running errands for super-vilains wasn't really sitting with any of them well.

So Batman was let to talk to Harley.

"Where is your nephew-in-law, Richard Grayson?" Batman said. Harley looked a bit out of it, but then smiled.

"He's in the walls." But then Harley surprised everyone when she grabbed Batman, he was expecting her to steal something from him, but he still let her do so. "There is a Talon after him, Bats, don't let him take little guy away."

First thought they got was that they killed a child and put him literally inside some wall, but then some records showed Pierrot from time to time coming to Harley, and that was how they caught him. And the phrase about Talon sort of made sense, as there was a figure in black following the kid.

Tim was the one to actually follow and find Dick. Mostly because Dick remembered him from circus and became curious why Tim was jumping on roofs without funny costume.

So ye, here we have this brainrot

[splitster]

answering ASKSSSSS

featuring: headcanons, mspaint yonny, and more

check it out! ↓↓

UHH the timeline is already hard enough to follow for 4 it's a little messy... I imagine for the pom wraith AU, it's mostly the events of pikmin 4 with some extra bits tacked onto it (like Olimar encountering the plasm at some point on his lonesome).

WAHHH THANK YOU... heres some secret mod lore, yonny is the HARDEST motherfucker to draw for me. he was ever since i started drawing the rescue corps and he still is!!!!!!!!!!!! his stupid face is so HARD GRRUUAUUGGHH

THANK YOU!!! i have a few bernard drawings/doodles in the pipeline to post eventually

(ive done a few ask masterposts at this point so forgive me if i already answered this one) AHHHHH i mean pom DOES really like Olimar. he challenges her skills out on the field when she's trying to track him down as a leafling which she finds engaging, and she finds him quite charming from the logs she reads. after he's cured, he's nothing but kind and supportive.

i don't think she'd try to take off with him like the plasm, but she'd feel protective over him if something were to threaten him

WAUUGGHH THANK YOU!!!! putting my favorite fictional characters into an enclosure and watching them

THANK YOU!!! you get it, he's so wet and pathetic

YEAH i have more bernard incoming!!! he's so genuinely supportive and it kinda freaks pom out because she can't tell if he has ulterior motivations or not (he doesn't. he's just a really cool dude. they'll become besties💖)

i'll perform the summoning ritual for you anon

there he is. what a jolly fellow

THIS IS A REALLY GOOD QUESTION... i had to consult with my friends for a lengthy food discussion (big hearts to @cosmicocoffee who helped me with like literally all of them)

for Pom, she's a wraith, so she just likes interesting and strong tastes. she's very partial to sweet things, and she LOVES chocolate (because that's one of the first sweets she ever tasted). although, she also like really spicy things because it's a neat feeling. as for least favorite, uh... i mean, the girl will literally eat soap for fun. it's very rare for her to have a food item she despises. they DO exist though, she fucking hates raisins

Dingo likes MANLY food, like MEAT and RIBS. well, he mostly likes being seen eating it. he does have a fondness for sweet things and smoothies. the town he grew up in could get pretty cold, so he grew up eating quite a lot of hot meals like caldo de res (he's especially fond of soups made the way his mama used to make them). he also picks up a fondness for hot tea from growing up with yonny, but he always puts extra honey in his cups. dingo HATES some foods though, especially sushi. the last time he tried to impress people by eating sushi, Dingo was hunched over outside the restaurant with Yonny rubbing his back...

shepherd! likes coffee. @soupvnova said she'd go to starbucks (spacebucks?) often to get the pup cup for oatchi which is very good. she has the healthiest diet out of all of them with routine exercise, protein shakes, lots of fruits and shit. she does have a weakness and a bit of a sweet tooth though, especially for cake. it hardly puts a dent in her diet though given her metabolism, she's a very built captain. she's not a fan of steamed vegetables... too squishy for her.

while talking about shepherd it is imperative to share that Oatchi will eat ANYTHING. if something hits the ground it is in his mouth immediately, shepherd has had to wrestle him to get space dog-unsafe food outta there before. although she will also constantly sneak him stuff from the dinner table

collin's fun because he enjoys eating healthy, he's a fan of fresh spring salads and stuff like pineapples and watermelon, but he also has to live off of a lot of processed/vending machine food because the man pulls all nighters frequently. he's also prone to stress eating... you can find him demolishing a watermelon and he's just. covered with seeds. he likes crunchy foods and seeds-- he's very hamstercore. he comes to Despise instant noodles because of how often he has to rely on them for food in the dead of night

fucking uhhh yonny, he likes foods that pair well with reading, he has pretty "mature" tastes and enjoys tea, maybe a glass of wine if he's feeling it. he often gets tunnel vision with his work and will neglect to eat, and as their doctor he'll have to set reminders on his phone to go have a meal so he doesn't fall ill. i can imagine he's not too into sugary things...

we already know bernard has some very expensive tastes, but he might just struggle with some textures or tastes in food. like, he enjoys pizza, this man is just a very picky eater... i can see him having tastes all over the board though. also he's protective over his stuff, he cared more about dingo eating his pizza than abandoning him

russ. uh... russ. yeah

olimar and louie are not part of the rescue corps, but i could see olimar joining (and louie following) sometime after the events of 4! he'd get a much better benefits package... he'd be good at providing logistical support for rangers out on the field, although his achy back would probably keep him off the field himself

AHH THANK YOU!! i have written some things but i don't have anything published -- to be honest, i'm not much of a fic writer. most of my writing is mostly just me talking through ideas/stories/cool character moments with friends, which is not a very shareable format unfortunately💔

i will say, talking about ideas with buddies gives me a shit load of ideas/motivation for drawing, and a lot of the stuff i've posted probably had that as an origin

THANK YOU!! and yeah of course that's fine! every artist is a collection of inspirations, and i'm no exception. my style comes from studying what i like in art and media (made by other people). i'm honored you find me as an inspiration💖

AUGH AUGH THANK YOU!!! i appreciate the anatomically correct hearts 💖💖

YEAHH i have designs that i've been meaning to flesh out but i'm lazy... i've been sitting on a dingo and yonny wraith design for like a month now, i should just bite the bullet and post them as-is if i ever want to share them... oh well! it's all for fun, i'm not gonna stress about it looking good

---

thank you for reading this far!! and thank you all for the asks, i will continue to slowly get through them...

[oh-no-its-bird]

Tobiizu as Lawlight (except both died at the same time bc spicy rivalry death)

Im actually incredibly mad at you for sending me this ask bc it has to be THE best premise literally ever but I dont know how to work with it bc Death Note is such a messy, overcomplicated, truly deranged everything, that I dont even know where to START with it

Both of them would make for pretty good Kira's honestly, but also just as good in L's position. I cant choose!!

Izuna L and Tobirama Light plays into the Uchiha -> police pipeline, plus Tobirama's pretty canon accurate characterization of believing he knows best when it comes to the safety of konoha the world

Izuna as Light and Tobirama as L plays into Tobirama getting to be a smart boy detective and Izuna's own "trust me I know whats best (indiscriminate murder)" Plus it still gets the Uchiha -> police bit bc Madara can take the place of Light's cop dad.

Also I personally see Izuna as a very charming guy and Tobirama more socially awkward, so that could match up well too

but also also it's that social unawarness that could make Tobirama such a good Light, seeming normal and charming on the surface but then just clueless ab what the fuck is normal the second you spend more than a minute eyeing him

Mmmmm. Im gonna have to say Izuna for Light and Tobirama for L just bc theres no universe where Izuna doesnt have a carefully kept hair routine and that makes him a better Light than an L

Light Izuna as that one scene tho

Who tf is Misa in this I honestly cant think of anyone

Im ngl, Lawlight Tobiizu is compelling as hell, but the thought of Light Tobirama and Misa Izuna is the funniest thing ever actually. They still dont really get along tho to be clear, but like, death note power frenemies/haters with benifits/"at this point if one of us goes down the other probably will too so were in it together now ig"

They still pretend theyre dating as like an alibi but the detectives look away and they're at eachothers throats again

Also their shinagami are actually just their brothers

PLUS MISA HAS THE SHINIGAMI EYES OOO IM ACTUALLY SO SMART ONE SEC I NEED TO DRAW THIS

[grif-hawaiian-rolls]

Anyways the “essay” about the energy sword to character development pipeline below the cut

Ok so like yea tucker-crunchbite-junior is, obviously, the first instance of the sword-quest-companion theme/trio that im like, rattling in my head rn

Tucker finds the sword, crunchbite shows up and theres the “quest” that challenges tucker both in the false intent (you need to be the hero) and the true intent (SA leading to Junior which is not handled well but it IS important) which is a push against tucker’s character thus far in that he’s the comic relief, make everything a sex joke archetype— he doesnt take it seriously, he doesnt see himself as important beyond getting just enough recognition to be “hot” and now he’s made to be the so called “hero” and the true plot puts him in the one position that he probably never thought could be him. Bc he wants to get laid so… yeah. Pushes his character if you give it like three seconds of critical thinking and not just the standard “haha alien baby bullshit” (that said, i do enjoy fics that explore crunchbite more and play with the potential of the “joke” shitty character into someone less sinister, but im doin my best to stick to canon rn)

And JUNIOR, oh man, because theres the thing that really solidifies this for me like

The dude who doesnt care doesnt bother is all jokes and ‘man whatever’ energy is a dad, and it starts with him trying to avoid it but he really fucking quickly steps the FUCK up for Junior and its the start of his development that people are like “oh he learns to be a leader on chorus” which i mean kinda yeah but he never struck me as a Leader even on Chorus even tho he does decidedly lead, its not the same as when kimball leads or when wash leads or carolina

He’s leads as a dad bc he is a dad

Not always a good one, but he’s trying and yea sometimes that means being the asshole, sometimes that means screwing up but it also means you fucking care and you take responsibility and you put yourself in danger first (the rescue mission, leaving the lieutenants behind)

And that doesnt start on chorus! Its the most evident there sure but

it starts with junior

It starts with him going after tex to protect his son, it starts with him trying to be a diplomat so they stay together, in sending junior away so he is safe while tucker buys time protecting the temple, it STARTS with him looking at church and going “leave my kid out of this” and yeah the way rvb was written and approached does Not take that seriously bc it wouldnt and if it did it would be a very different show but the implications are there and its acknowledged with tucker’s photograph of junior with his 5th grade basketball team (“i know right? Who carries actual pictures anymore” -tucker) which i could go on about THAT too but suffice to say its very clear that tucker cares so gd much about his kid and yeah his character development isnt super linear but you can basically pinpoint when it starts with the sword and junior

The second run of this trio of things is actually grif which is admittedly, a stretch, a big ol reaching for straws (okay, TECHNICALLY grif is the third run, but i’ll address that in a minute) largely a stretch bc grif… does the pattern backwards

This IS S16 stuff so if ur a shisno paradox hater i respect that, i however am gnawing on it with everything i have and will be going feral so this is your warning thank u for reading the tucker side of it mwah appreciate ya

Anyways

Grif does his plot backwards during timetravel shenanigans

He gets the alien companion/friend who contrasts his character first in Huggins

Grif is a loyal friend, but he is lazy, even after s15’s breakdown and apparent change of tune, he’s still looking to take the path of least resistance, avoiding the call, trying to keep things from moving

Enter Huggins: zippy, full of energy, excitable and just so different in that she is not only so proactive she puts herself in danger (which helps everyone in the long run/plot but its the principle) but shes so fucking lonely

As far as she knows, her family is dead, except for muggins who is so dettached from her, he might as well be a coworker and not her brother

Compared to grif, who has a family even when he tries to push them away (the reds, the blues, KAIKAINA) but hates taking action

Huggins is the start for grif’s arc of “it sucks but someones gotta do it” which in their case is best shown as the trudge across the bottom of the english channel which is so fucking funny to me but it really pushes both of them and puts them firmly in the friends category

Huggins cant zip ahead without grif, grif cant stop moving because huggins wont let him, so they find their little balance of gas vs brakes and together they cruise along p well

The actual push of the “quest” is grif having to be the one who steps up (kinda like tucker but its to the left) he’s the one who starts getting everyone together again across the timeline, even if he is very,,,

Well he’s very Grif about it, but it is still fundamentally, the change in character

Tucker isn’t a always good dad, Grif isn’t always a good instigator of action

But theyre trying and theyre working on it and grif’s arc suffers a Little from being so late in the show and thus not having much of a parallel to pull on but you could argue he gets the parallel from s15 anyways with the refusal of the call (from fake church/loco) and rescue mission but i hesitate to call that a parallel bc its literally back to back but an argument could be made for it which i love

Enter part two: the alien quest giver

“Wait wasnt that huggins”

NOPE huggins was alien companion! The Bestie in grif’s case,

The alien fetch quest comes from atlas, in that stupid wishing sequence but cmon it wouldnt be rvb if the character development wasnt sandwiched inbetween obnoxious gags and stupidity

The quest is less important here admittedly bc again, with grif doing this in reverse its not the challenge to his principle character that it was for tucker, his connection to huggins was the challenge, and this becomes the final push into the development, the “you have a role, now play it” that gives grif the final shove into Doing Things literal!! And his prize? For this character development arc? An alien sword

And thus the inverse version reaches an end, sort of (im pissed that technically he loses his sword, im also ignoring that he loses it in canon bc he fucking earned it okay this is a bit of canon i will ignore and loophole my way around it)

And now we track back to Chorus and to the second iteration of the sword-quest-companion plot

Locus

Now okay i will admit this is conjecture and pepe-silvia-on-corkboard-with-red-string fuckery at this point but hear me out okay!

He gets the sword with Felix’s death. We know this. What we dont know is how the fucking hell he gets off Chorus! We just see him show up later with A’rynasea. The vaguely alien (maybe sentient?? AI? Its implied with the way he addresses her but we literally have her for like two episodes) ship that seems to be the driving force (literal) (bc shes his ship) behind his chosen redemption arc where he pushes himself to help others at no apparent benefit to himself, but because it is, and i quote “the right thing to do”

Arguably, Santa could be Locus’ quest giver, seeing as how he is the one who triggers the whole shift in view for Locus in the first place and that is, technically, what crunchbite does and what atlas finalizes for grif! But the problem is we simply dont have enough of A’rynasea to draw the parallel between her and Locus as personalities, as companions for it to work for me??? But that might just be me overthinking? But it does make Locus’ version is a bit messier depending on who you consider his quest-giver but as far as I’m concerned, he’s still on his quest snd its just up to interpretation if A’rynasea is his companion?? or if theres a secret third alien for Locus that we never wouldve seen even if they planned for that bc its red vs blue and im just delusional about locus and his role in plot and this is just me firing concepts blindly into the sky at this point like - yeah i could still theorize what kind of companion characterization i think locus would work well with bc its more about the wielder than the companion in this sense (sorry junior and huggins i love yall i promise) but thats a completely separate rant at this point and not nearly coherent enough at this exact moment to add it PLUS its ridiculously self indulgent and only marginally canon compliant/adjacent but i will never not be amused by this very specific plot beat happening enough to draw these parallels, as tenuous and vague as the parallels are