#and it does hurt not being able to share things with my mom but she also did this to me. like that's a fact she didn't trust ME first

[la0hu]

love my housemates for unanimously being "yay go to japan!!!!! :)))" and also being like "don't tell your family until you are literally there because they don't deserve to know. power to emma"

[rosie-rosem]

HIII CAN YOU DO MAYBE A DAD HER FIC WHERE HIS DAUGHTER LOOSES HER FIRST TOOTH OR HIM AND READER ARE PREGNANT AND THE BABY IS A BOY AMD MAYBE THEIR DAUGHTER GEYS JEALOUS

sharing is caring

❥ pairing: husband!dad!heeseung x pregnant!wife!mom!reader

❥ genre: married!au, parents!au, silly & fluff

❥ summary: your daughter, who was excited to have a sibling until the gender was found out. a baby boy, a new member of the family. although she was excited, would her parents forget about her once her brother is born?

❥ warnings: mentions of petnames (love, sweetheart, lovebug & baby), crying, jealousy, grammatical errors, not proofread, lowercase, lmk if i missed something!!

———————————————————————-

WC: 1.2k

A/N: I hope this is what you were expecting, i love doing dad hee fics, so i was excited to come up with this one! maybe i’ll do the tooth one in the future, but this idea sounded so cute so tysm anon <3 (note: daughter is around age 4-5)

“daddy, when will my brother be here?” your daughter asked heeseung. “not for a while love, but it’ll go by super quick, don’t worry” he pinched her cheek “does the bump hurt mommy?” she questions, heeseung chuckles in return “no, mommy isn’t in any pain right now” he reassures her, rubbing her head. “it’s time to got to bed now, okay?” heeseung pulls her blanket up. “okay..” she pouts. “night lovebug” he kisses her head. “night daddy.”

“she’s really curious about him” heeseung walks over to you after leaving ji-su’s room. “Do you think she’s happy with it?” you ask, biting your inner lip. “with what?” he questions, sitting next to you. “with having a sibling, being a sister.” you turn your head to him, waiting for an answer anxiously. he runs his hand through your hair, “it’ll take a while, but she will be” he smiles. “i’m just scared” you laugh, embarrassed “of?” heeseung asks. “of having a boy” you chuckle, heeseung chuckles in return. “your an amazing mom, love, no matter the gender.” he says, making you smile. “thank you. and you’re a pretty great dad.” you say. “i learned from the best” he answers, mentioning his dad. you smile.

“mommy?” ji-su calls out, rubbing her tired eyes. “in here ji!” you call back from another room, ji-su quickly follows the sound into the nursery. “mom.” you hum in return “hi baby” you pick up ji-su, giving her a hug. “did you sleep okay?” you ask, she nods. “morning” heeseung walks in, joining the hug before giving you both a kiss on the forehead. “the rest of the furniture came this morning, so we can set it up if you’d like.” heeseung says. “oh yeah, let’s do that.” you smile. “what’s all this stuff?” ji-su asks about the box filled room. “it’s the things for your brothers room.” heeseung replies. “oh ok” she says.

“go eat your breakfast in the kitchen ji” you say, setting her back on the ground. “okay mommy” she runs to go eat her food. you chuckle at how she speeds out of the room.

later that day, you and heeseung were talking about the baby when ji-su comes in. “i’m bored” she pouts, you both laugh at the girl. “how? you have every toy know to man” heeseung puts her on his lap. “i love my toys, but i’m still bored.” she says. “do you want to help daddy and i come up with possibly names for your brother?” you ask, her eyes light up. “yes!” she bounces in excitement. “any suggestions?” heeseung asks the girl. “hmm…ji-su!” she says. you laugh “that’s your name, silly.” you reply. “i know, but i’m okay with sharing.” she smiles, you look at heeseung. “speaking of sharing…” heesung starts, “ji-su, when your brother is born, you will have to start sharing a lot with him.” he says, facing her towards him. “like what” she asks “like your toys, food, me and mommy.” he says. “you and mommy?” she questions.

“mommy and I will be very busy with your brother when he’s born because he needs extra attention, so it means we might not always be able to play or give you all our time once he’s here.” he explains. “why does he need all your time?” she asks, pouting. “he’s a baby, he’s gonna need a lot of our time in the beginning because he won’t be able to do much that young.” you try to explain more, she frowns. “so you won’t play with me?” she asks. “no that’s not it sweetheart, we just might not be able to as often when that time comes.” heeseung says, reassuring her, she continues to frown.

“i don’t want to share you and mommy” she says, you sigh, looking up to heeseung. “baby, i know it’s gonna be hard, but your gonna have to, because your baby brother will also need us.” heeseung says, patting her back.

“no!” she says, hopping off heeseungs’ lap, “you’re going to forget about me once he’s here.” her eyes get teary. “ji-su, we won’t forget you, love.” you say. “yes you will!” she says before running off to her room. you sigh, watching her leave. you look to heeseung, who was also sighing at the interaction. “i knew this would happen” you say, getting emotional. heeseung pulls you into a hug, “she just needs time, babe.” heeseung says, comforting you. “i just don’t want her to resent him” you say, putting your hand on your bump, while tearing up.

“hey, look at me” heeseung cups your cheeks, turning your head towards him, once you face him, he says, “she won’t, once he’s here she’ll forget all about this because she will be an older sister, and she’ll be helping us out with him, because she will love him.” he says, wiping your tears. you calm down a bit after hearing that, “okay? everything will be fine.” he says, hugging you, you let out a relaxed sigh. “you’re right.” you says, looking at him, “you always are.” you giggle, he smiles back, “we will learn these things together, okay?” he says, “yeah.” you nod. “now let’s go talk to her.” he helps you up.

“ji-su?” you open her door, calling out. “go away” she sniffles. you both walk in quietly before going to sit on her bed. “ji-su, listen, when your brother is born, we are gonna give him a lot of our attention, but that doesn’t mean we’ll forget about you, you are just as important to us as he will be.” you say, rubbing her head. “and you will get to help us with him once he’s a bit older, you won’t be forgotten baby.” heeseung says, she faces you both. “i just want some of your time too.” she’s sniffles again. “you have all of our time right now, and when the time comes and your brother is born, yes, it’ll be different but mom and i aren’t always gonna be with him at the same time which means one of us will give you time.” heeseung tells the girl.

“really?” shes asks, wiping her nose on her sleeve, you both nod in return. “we don’t want you to worry about this right now, we just wanted to let you know that you’ll have to share your time with us with your baby brother.” you say, giving her a soft smile. “okay, i believe you.” she pouts, making heeseung chuckle

“good, now let’s go” you say, “go where?” she asks. “to the couch, dad and i are going to watch movies with you today.” you smile at her, she jumps out of bed. “yay!!” she screams. “you better go fast before i beat you there” heeseung says to the girl, making her bolt out of the room, you both laugh in return, following slowly behind her.

while in the middle of the movie she wanted to watch say says “jaeyun” you both look at her in confusion “hm?” you hum. “his name” she says, pointing at the t.v. “jaeyun” heeseung repeated the name before looking at you, “jaeyun..” you smile, looking at the little girl then back at your husband.

———————————————————————-

© rosie-rosem

[maefansblog]

The main point of this specific entry is to make sense of this gif from the trailer.

Most of the time I write these blogs, I do stream of consciousness. I have opinions, I may be wrong, and I'm also learning more about the story/characters by writing them out. It is ok for you to draw your own conclusions and have your own opinions. I just want to share this. 💕

Long Post

Eloise is watching her mom dancing with Marcus. I wonder how hurt, confused, and lonely she must be.

I loved the close friendship that Eloise and Penelope shared in Season 1. I love how innocent, but free spirited she was. She understands that she doesn't have a lot of rights in this society and wants to push back on it. I love that.

I know how narrow-minded Eloise can be. She has disdain when the other debutantes talk about weddings. She was sickened when Daphne was trying to secure a match with Simon.

I have to remind myself that Eloise is growing and she doesn't fully how hurtful the things she says can be.

However, she said it best in Season 3 Episode 2 that she has a habit of saying wrong things at the wrong time.

Even the crush that she had on Theo could be attributing to her hurt. Ultimately, I do not fault her for her not wanting to kiss him. Yet she said no, he stopped himself. She wanted to protect him and make sure he still had his job. To Theo, he thought she would never lower herself in society and would play with his feelings. Theo showed his hurt by lashing out from her rejection.

Eloise pulls away. She is still a lady.

This brings us to Penelope and Eloise's friendship. (I know hot topic. It's no surprise that I don't like how Eloise has treated Penelope since she found out about Lady Whistledown. This is my opinion, you can have your own. Let's be respectful to everyone.) I understand Eloise is coming from a place of hurt not only from Theo, but that her friend would keep such a big portion of her life from her. It's like they took some of the anger from book Colin and gave it to Eloise in Season 2 Episode 8. Only Eloise isn't concerned for Penelope at ALL. She hurt that Pen would keep it from HER. She is hurt that she won't be able to talk to the Queen. She is hurt that Theo wants nothing to do with her (even though she rejected him).

She is hurt at the possibility that she could be "ruined." Which Eloise never was, as you see her gaining even more friends and being welcomed into society. Eloise calls Penelope a Wallflower, befriends her rival (which book Eloise would NEVER), and never wants to speak to her. Then Eloise has the gall to say that Penelope never visited her at Aubrey Hall??? Excuse you?!?!

Penelope does bring scandals to light- even scandals for the Bridgertons. Daphne's lack of suitors because of Anthony, Anthony's wedding, even Eloise's political radical rallies. Yes Eloise would be hurt for her family.

Penelope has not made up ANY of these scandals. It wasn't as if she befriended the Bridgertons solely for Whistledown. It was more like no one was listening to her. She was bullied by society/family, and she created the column. She was trying to protect Theo's job and protect Eloise. Imagine if the printers were raided by the Queen’s guards. All of the people would be out of work. Pen only wrote what Society was already saying. The only instance that she did not was for Eloise and Colin to protect them, and she only did it as a last resort.

If I think objectively about this, Eloise still keeps Penelope’s secret, tells Colin he can still be her friend because she knows that Penelope would be lonely, and she checks in after the scandal (that she caused 🙄).

Now that we're caught up, let's talk about what this post is about. The repercussions of the first gif. Violet dancing.

Part 2 Trailer

When said that Colin and Penelope are engaged, Eloise is being unfair -> Of course, to the audience, we are frustrated because our main couple is finally together, and she can't let them be happy for ONE NIGHT?!

Eloise is being truthful, though. Penelope should tell Colin about Lady Whistledown. Pen has accomplished something amazing and it is a part of her. Colin wants to love all of Pen, and it is unfair of her to keep it from him.

Back to Eloise. I think Cressida and Eloise will have a falling out because of Lady Whistledown. Even if Pen and Eloise resolve things, their relationship won't be the same since Penelope is marrying Colin. Eloise is starting to see everyone around her pairing off. Anthony and Kate, John and Francesca, and Penelope and Colin.

It's going to be a harder gut when she sees her MOTHER dancing with Marcus. The loss of her father has deeply impacted Eloise. Even when Violet was giving birth to Hyacinth, it was traumatic for her.

That is why Eloise, in her young adult mind, is scared of having children and getting married. Above this, Eloise loved her father. Eloise also feels that Violet is disappointed in her sometimes because she just doesn't want to be married. To see Violet with a man other than her father is going to be possibly nuclear.

We know that in the books, Eloise runs away, but I don't think we have the key plot points to have this happen quickly.

Spoilers in emojis: iykyk 💌🌊⚰️🧍‍♂️

I am looking forward to seeing Eloise's character development. My guess is Benedict is next, unless Eloise has been writing secret letters in episodes 5-8.

Whether the reaction from Eloise is understanding, shock, sadness, loneliness, or anger, it's going to be good for the story and good for Eloise. She's a complex character who loves her family. She's strong, stubborn, motivated, inquisitive, and wants more from life than what is handed to her.

After this stream of consciousness, I feel like I know Eloise a little better. Waiting anxiously for the next part to come out!! Ahhhhh!

[duskier]

I am a big family Soap truther but I feel like Gaz would have one too - SoapGaz fluff I just barfed out - 1.8k words!!!

One of the first things that bonds the two together- beyond being brothers in arms of the same rank, and living through actual hell on earth together saving each other's lives again and again- is that they are the only ones who will listen to each other yap about their families.

…

When Soap tries to boast about his twin nieces winning double horse riding awards to Ghost, Ghost politely stands still like he's listening. Soap knows Ghost well enough to see that he's mentally checked out, can see that his eyes are fixed somewhere far off. Soap knows how touchy of a subject family is for Ghost, so he learns quickly to give up any mention of it.

…

When Gaz tries to show Price a video of his oldest sister finding out she's gotten a full ride to her choice of grad school, his captain is a bit more blunt but still evasive. Just tells Gaz that he's busy, that he should show him later. But Soap hears delighted squeals and joyful yelling coming from Gaz's phone and suddenly he's beelining over.

"She graduated super high in her class, did a bunch of extra curricula, applied everywhere like mad but this- this one has been her dream since we were little."

Soap looms over Gaz's shoulder, a smile blooming on his face as Gaz restarts the video. It feels amazing to be listened to, but it makes Gaz's heart soar seeing Soap near in tears, misty eyed while he’s sharing in the joy. His eyes are... really pretty. Weird that Gaz was only noticing it then.

"She deserves it, I bet yer so proud... we ought to celebrate!"

And they do. Soap buys Gaz and himself a few rounds at their usual bar just off base that very night, and over the next few hours they detail everything about their families to each other. Soap pulled out his sketchbook and drew a little family tree then passed it over so Gaz could do the same thing, too. 

“Your sister sounds just like my uncle-”

“She looks just like my cousin’s ex girlfriend-”

“D’you think your mom would be able to stand my mom?”

“My sister is taller than your brother.”

“How many kids does that one have? …Five!?”

Pouring over instagram pages, pulling up texts, Gaz even messaged his mom to send him a specific photo of him and his siblings at his 6th birthday party. He can hardly get through telling Soap the story behind the photo without laughing so hard his ribs hurt, and Soap is suddenly feeling breathless when he realizes how lovely a sound it is to hear Gaz laugh. 

…

…Then when Gaz needs a date to his cousin’s wedding- he can’t just not go, he’s part of the groomsmen- he asks Soap to come. 

“Don’t make me go alone mate, besides there will be plenty of dancing and-and drinking and that pretty cousin of mine you liked! You already know all their names, so it makes sense I’d bring you over anyone else.” He’s serving the biggest, shiniest brown-eyed-puppy dog look of the century, and it works immediately. 

That’s how they end up on a flight together to a gorgeous beach resort. Soap doesn’t have a chance with that pretty cousin Gaz mentioned (unbeknownst to either of them it's because just about everyone in Gaz’s family is convinced the two Sergeants are dating.)

Gaz’s four sisters nearly knocking him on his ass as they all tackle him when he’s spotted in the hotel lobby, fighting to be the one to hug Gaz first. It is clear how much they all love each other, warm embraces and laughter ringing out in the lobby without a care. 

Them all welcoming Soap immediately with open arms, now fighting to be the first one to share the most embarrassing story about Gaz. (“Did he tell you about the time when he--” “I HAVE A LICENSE TO KILL, ZIP IT!!”) He’s immediately treated like a bonus-sibling, the youngest one (only 7 years old) wrinkling her nose at Soap’s mohawk from her spot in Gaz’s arms. His other two sisters grilling Soap on their brother’s job, hoping Soap had embarrassing stories about Gaz to tell them in turn. 

(Later the sisters gather together in their own hotel room to debrief- it was painfully obvious the two guys were crushing on each other- they knew what Gaz looked like when he was like that. They made a deal with one another to be nice to Gaz about it. Despite how easy it’d be. They then praised themselves for being such kind sisters to their brother, and shared sparkling apple cider over a Barbie movie.)

Soap watching Gaz walk down the sandy beach aisle as a groomsman, looking handsome as ever in the tux and silk pink bowtie the bride had chosen for the party. Gaz with a bridesmaid on his arm, pretty in pink, but the second they part his eyes find Soap sitting in the crowd. In a pretty deep blue suit that compliments his eyes, top two buttons of his white shirt undone. Gold chain to his cross glittering in the sunlight. 

The two admiring each other, and Gaz watches his grandmother sit down next to Soap. The Scot says something charming, undoubtedly a direct flirt, knowing that was the way to her heart. Her wrinkled hand clutching at her pearls jokingly, admonishing him as they fall naturally into conversation. 

Gaz passively wonders why it suddenly meant so much to him for his family to like Soap, how it sent a bolt through his heart to see him get on so easy with his grandmother especially. (He was always a grandma’s boy, even if he’d never admit it. He was her favorite grandson, though she’d never admit that, either.)

During the reception, when Gaz and Soap are smiling big dopey smiles at each other in the multicolored lights, dancing with their arms slung around each other in messy, drunken circles, Gaz’s parents watch on with satisfied smiles. 

“Our son has never looked happier, love. Just look at him, he’s glowing!” Gaz’s mother offers her champagne glass as a toast.

His father’s face wrinkles handsomely when he smiles back at his gorgeous wife. He clinks his glass with hers.

“Looks like he’s found himself a nice young man, darling. You did a good job.” 

“We did, love. We did.”

(Gaz and Soap end up going back to their hotel room and making out a little bit, but they don’t discuss it for a long while. They write it off as them being drunk and stumbling back to their room together, that they got confused or wires got crossed somehow.) 

…

Soap and Gaz realize their mistake of introducing their mothers to one another much too late. They become fast friends, video calling each other once a week over drinks to gossip about their families, talk about books they are reading, and boast about new recipes cooked. As much as the two men complain about it, they know the friendship is much deeper- the two women comfort each other when their kids are on mission. Finally, they each had another mom who could understand what they were going through.

…

When Soap’s grandpa gets sick and it's all hands on deck, every sibling and cousin and family friend coming home, Soap doesn’t even have to ask Gaz. He’s already got his bag packed and both of their paperwork filed for the time off. A warm supporting hand giving his shoulder a squeeze, offering the first bit of relief Soap has felt in weeks. 

By this point, Gaz was already known by half of Soap’s family online. They were able to just arrive at the MacTavish family home, roll up their sleeves, and get to work. No one knew that Grandpa Mactavish had been on such a rapid decline, the family home and property in general disrepair. 

Soap’s eldest sister was a carpenter. His middle sister was a homemaker. His youngest sister was a moody teenager. Together the three women pulled the most weight, directing the family into teams. Within a day, the house had been cleaned, the overgrown grass mowed, the dry rot on the outside of the home repaired, each dead lightbulb on the property replaced. 

Soap and Gaz filled the family home with the scent of spices and herbs as they cooked tirelessly. Enough to feed every hand that leant help, and then some so Grandpa Mactavish had plenty leftover. While they chopped and simmered and seasoned, Gaz listened to Soap reminisce about his memories in this home. Every Christmas when the family of nearly 30 all packed in together, every birthday or life milestone that was celebrated there. The wall of carved height trackers- from his great-grandfather to his littlest cousin. When Soap eventually breaks down crying, Gaz doesn’t think twice to pull him into a hug. 

He doesn’t move when Soap’s mother comes in and hugs Soap from behind- Gaz and Soap’s mother worked as a team to hold Soap together. 

…

Years later, when Soap finally blurts out the big question, eyes wide with fear as if Gaz would ever dream of saying no to his proposal, Gaz tackles his boyfriend- now fiancé- with such vigor they both get bruises from the tumble. They are laughing, blushing, ragging on each other for being so sappy even as they have happy tears forming in their eyes. 

The Garrick-Mactavish wedding is no small event. It's damn near the wedding of the century. 

Laswell and the rest of their 141 family runs the event like it's a military op. The Vaqueros join in too, friends from KorTac throwing in their hand as well. (Nicolai's main job is just keeping Price's blood pressure down.)

The reception itself was gorgeous, Gaz dressed in a warm white suit, looking like a dream with gold accents. Soap opposite him in a formal wear kilt fashion, his usually messy mohawk tamed back. The 141 made up the wedding party, plus each groom's own assortment of childhood friends or siblings. (The joint bachelor party the month prior was legendary, but the aftermath gave Laswell a headache. Something about a building getting blown up and/or burnt down. If asked, she wouldn't talk about it but excuse herself to get another drink.) When they kiss, confirming their lifetime bond now confirmed and witnessed by all of their loved ones, Soap dips Gaz, making the beautiful man laugh and hold onto his shoulders as cheers erupt around them. 

The reception and party and after party in total lasted three days. The two families now and forever intertwined‐ once separately large on their own- made a tree so huge they couldn't fit it on one page of Soap’s sketchbook anymore. (They just make a huge painting of it in their home- the home that houses the entire extended Garrick-Mactavish family every holiday until the happy, long-lived end of their days.)

[omnipresentlemon]

Avatar Modern AU Headcanons: The Early Years

Spider was adopted into the family after Neytiri found him wandering around the neighborhood as a toddler in just a t-shirt and underwear on one of the coldest days of the year. She immediately went to the police station and within a week Spider was removed from the McCoskers and was taken in by the Sullys as his foster family.

Jake and Neytiri have it ROUGH for a couple years - four kids under four? Eywa have mercy.

Listen. It is inevitable that little kids have a favorite parent, but the Sully kids are a little extreme with their hardcore Mom Favoritism™️. Neteyam can only fall asleep if Neytiri sings to him. Kiri doesn’t like Jake reading their bedtime stories because “mama does the voices better.” If Spider gets hurt he is inconsolable until Neytiri kisses it better. Lo’ak throws a tantrum for at least an hour every time Neytiri leaves them with Jake. My dude is being bullied mercilessly by kids who can’t even spell their names yet.

I fully support @be-the-glenn-to-my-maggie’s headcanon that Jake and Lo’ak are mortal enemies until Lo’ak hits about 5. But like, in a Megamind kinda way.

Whenever Lo’ak is acting up Jake pretends to call Santa and tell him to put Lo’ak on the naughty list.

Lo’ak will tell other adults the most embarrassing shit about Jake in the worst circumstances.

When Lo’ak is two and realizes his parents have names other than mama and daddy, he calls Jake by his first name only for three months. Imagine trying to discipline your two-year old and he whips out the first name.

In retaliation, Jake refers to Lo’ak as “the brat attack” until Neytiri reminds him that he’s the adult in this situation. He still does it sometimes when Neytiri isn’t around.

Neytiri has the mom reflexes of a god. No ER trips on her watch.

In fact, the first ER visit for the Sullys was when Neytiri left the kids with Jake to go shopping with Mo’at for some baby stuff while she was pregnant with Tuk. They don’t even make it down the street before Jake is frantically calling about Spider splitting his head open on the edge of the coffee table.

Spider is the most accident prone of the kids not due to clumsiness but a serious lack of survival skills and critical thinking. He used to throw himself off the top of the bunk bed he shared with Lo’ak just for fun.

Spider is technically the oldest, but due to the McCosker’s neglect he has some developmental delays and regressive behavior. Neteyam loves being able to act like a big brother for Spider even though he’s a year younger. They have a rough patch when they’re a bit older and Spider starts to assert himself more, but at the end of the day they’re Team Eldest and lean on each other a lot.

Kiri was a leash kid. Jake thought it was embarrassing but Neytiri could no take another incident of Kiri disappearing in public because she saw something interesting and wandered off to investigate.

Bluey is a staple in the Sully household. Jake and Neytiri are just happy that the chokehold Paw Patrol had on their kids seems to have gone away. Plus, now whenever they’re mean to each other, they just have to ask, “would Bluey and Bingo treat each other like this?” It results in an instant apology 99% of the time.

They talk back to their kids babble like it’s the most interesting thing in the world. Neytiri has full-on soap opera plots. The kids find it hilarious.

Jake, at the end of the day, is a military dad. And that means it’s MMA every day in the Sully household, starting young. He’ll suplex them into the couch, throw them onto the bed from across the room, toss them so high in the air he sees the bottom of their feet. Neytiri at first hates it, but she sees how gentle Jake is and tries to let it go. Even if it gives her heart palpitations.

Neteyam’s first word was “dada”, Kiri’s “mama”, and Lo’ak’s “no”. Spider’s speech was severely delayed and it took half a year of speech therapy to get him where he needed to be developmentally, so there’s was hot competition between Jake and Neytiri over who would get his first word.

It’s neither of them. Spider’s first word was “Teyam”. Even when they’re older Neteyam lords it over Spider’s head (but if he thinks too much about it it’ll make him cry, he just loves his brother so much).

I def have more of these percolating in my brain, but for now, enjoy!

[buckyseddie]

always hold you

pairings — tasm!peter parker x bff/gf!fem!reader

summary — in which, she needs her boyfriend's support more than anything else, after another particularly bad fight with her father.

word count — 2.6k.

warnings — a little bit of angst, use of pet-names [dove, sweetheart, darling, love, bug], reader calls peter pete, lots of fluff and this is basically just a hurt/comfort fic, protective/soft!peter, this is also sort of similar to my other peter fic (take as a part two that one), peter comforting reader, mentions of the reader's low self-esteem issues and it being explained a bit more, both physical and emotional abuse (manipulation and gaslighting, but not from peter), hugs and cuddles, forehead kisses, peter just taking care of the reader and showing her the love that her family refuses to do, gwen is in here for a second and being the comforting platonic best friend that she is to reader, peter comes off as a little harsh and scares reader a little bit but he makes up for it in the end.

notes — hi! so, this is really more of a vent fic. i know i've written in the past about dealing w/ a toxic family member and how i really enjoyed writing fics similar to my experiences with my favorite comfort characters to comfort the reader because that would usually help me deal with everything. but recently, the abuse that me, my mom, and my brother have been experiencing has become a lot more complicated and traumatizing for me to deal with. and things have only gotten worse. so, i figured i'd do another comforting fic like the other peter fic i wrote about going through that said abuse. i really just feel that it's important to not hide my true feelings and act like everything's fine behind a screen and i just want to be able to talk about this topic a lot more (especially in my writing), because it's so serious and not nearly talked about enough. but, nonetheless, if there's anyone out there that sees this and is a victim of abuse (whether it's emotional/mental or physical abuse, or both) please don't feel obligated to read this. i really don't want to trigger or upset anyone who's dealing with this situation in a very heavy and overwhelming way. just remember though, no matter what anyone says or does to you, you ARE strong and deserve the entire world. i love you all <3. anyways, i hope this makes up for the lack of posting anything (i've been really struggling with a lot, but i'm trying!). gif and divider creds to owner!

p.s., feedback is very much encouraged and appreciated <3.

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IT'S OBVIOUS NOW THAT SHE was stupid to think that he could change. it was even more stupid of her to go back to that apartment.

but, she's always been one to see the best in people — in her case, it's come to bite her in the ass.

even now, as she awaits her boyfriend to return home from his nightly patrol around the city, [y/n] knows that she should've known better.

she trembles as she sits on their shared bed, one of her legs bouncing anxiously — the thought of how peter will react to her foolish decision and the outcome from it is stressing her out, beyond words.

after how he responded the first time he found out about the truth about her father's cruelty and what she'd had to go through, she's worried of how he will react this time — it took almost everything in him to not confront her father, when he first found out.

she abruptly jumps when she hears the front door of the apartment shut softly.

a shaky breath leaves her lips, wondering if it's too late to try to hide the marks on her face and body.

but, when she hears him call out her name from the living room, she knows that it's too late — there's nothing she can do now to hide this.

and even if she wanted to for a split second, she promised peter she'd never lie to him again — after the last time, they promised each other that they'd never hide anything from the other again.

so, with another shaky breath, [y/n] sighs and hesitantly pulls the bedroom door open.

she keeps her head down, her hair falling around her face and covering the marks as she walks out and into the living room.

"sweetheart..." peter's voice trails off, eyes wide with shock and worry.

her breath catches in her throat as soon as she finally looks up at her boyfriend and sees the intense, protective look in his eyes.

"i—i'm sorry, peter." she whispers, voice too raspy to get any louder.

a flash of anger fills his eyes. "please... tell me that you didn't go back to him!" he exclaims in a quieter tone of voice as he pinches the corner of his eyes.

[y/n] flinches at the amount of frustration in his voice.

"peter, i—i'm sorry... " her voice trembles, guilt and regret quickly filling her — she just feels so stupid.

peter sighs, regretting taking his anger out on her.

his eyes immediately soften. "sweetheart, i'm sorry." he murmurs, before starting to walk over to her.

but, before he can reach her, she flinches and winces.

he stops short, freezing in place. more guilt fills him as he realizes that in this moment, she's scared of him.

"look... i—i know that i shouldn't have gone back," she whispers, tears clouding her eyes as she remembers the anger and hatred in her father's eyes.

peter's silent for a moment, waiting and giving her time to explain more — if she's able to.

"i'm... i'm so stupid, peter." she whispers, too ashamed to talk any louder.

peter's eyes widen in shock, not expecting that statement to come out of her mouth. "w—what? darling, that's not true."

this time, a tear falls down her cheek. "yes, i am. peter, who's stupid enough to choose to believe that their abusive, monster-of-a-father can change? me — it's me!"

the rambling and the self-loathing words coming out of his girlfriend's mouth becomes incredibly clear to peter as he walks over to her.

this time now, he doesn't hesitate to pull her into his chest as her voice becomes more trembling and wavering, "this is on me — it's my fault."

"it's okay now, love. don't blame yourself." he murmurs as she stops holding herself back and breaks into breathless sobs into his chest.

after a while, her crying slows and quiets down with her tears now dried on her cheeks.

she faces him and takes in a deep, calming breath as he wipes away the remaining tears away and looks over her bruises more intensely.

"i wanna kill him for doing this to you — again." the venom in his tone sends shivers through her spine — knowing what he would do to protect her comforts her.

but, on the other hand, she also knows that hurting her father isn't going to do anything for them or fix anything.

"no, peter. i know you don't mean that." she murmurs seriously.

an angry frown places itself over his lips. "no, i do."

she sighs. "okay, maybe you do. but, it won't fix anything and we both know that," she says, moving one of her fingers up to smooth out the crease in between his very furrowed eyebrows.

"it's okay now — i'm okay." she whispers seriously, grabbing his hand and rubbing soothing circles over his thumb.

you'd think from how she's comforting him that peter was the one that got hurt, not her — that's just how she is; she always finds herself taking care of everyone else, when she really should be taking care of herself.

maybe that's why they're such a good pair — while they're taking care of everyone else and their loved ones, they can trust the other to take care of the other.

"that's the thing, love. it's not okay! you shouldn't have to go out of your way to avoid him, just to protect yourself." he exclaims, ripping his hand out of hers and this time pacing around the living room with his hand now gripping his hair in frustration.

she sighs, frowning — this is exactly why she didn't want to tell him because she hates worrying him like this.

"it may not be fair, but if it's what i have to do to protect myself, then that's what i'll do — i should've kept doing that, instead of being an idiot to believe he'd change." she admits, shrugging, trying to play this all off, as if it's not that big of a deal.

"don't say that — don't do that!" he abruptly yells, turning around to face her defensively.

she flinches — once again — at the volume of his voice. "don't do what?" she asks meekly, her voice too soft.

he sighs in regret. "i'm sorry. i'm not trying to scare you." his eyes are downcast at the floor, before he looks up again, the guilt clear in his irises this time.

"it's okay, peter." she gulps, berating herself for some part of her being afraid of him — after all, she has no reason to fear him because he'd never intentionally hurt her.

"it's not. i shouldn't have gotten so angry — i'm not mad at you, i promise," he says in a much more quiet voice, sighing as he sees that look in her eyes — the one that she always has when she feels like a burden and feels like she should be apologizing.

"sweetheart, don't even think about apologizing. none of this is your fault."

[y/n] sighs in exasperation. "maybe it is. i'm the one that is always making a fool out of myself by believing in the best of everyone."

she sighs when a flash of irritation shows in his eyes. "what?" he whispers, his eyebrows furrowing together.

she takes in another breath when he walks over to her and hesitantly places his hands over her cheeks.

[y/n] sighs again.

"this isn't your fault, love. know that," he murmurs, his eyes searching hers for some kind of understanding. "please, tell me that you know that."

she sighs again, noticing the tears filling his eyes — it becomes incredibly clear to her how much the man in front of her cares about her.

"peter... " her own eyes fill with tears, even spilling to her cheeks.

without another thought, he gently wipes away her tears. "promise me that you understand me."

she sighs again. "y—yes, i understand," she murmurs, hating the hope that fills his eyes. "but, i just don't believe it."

he opens his mouth to object, but she interrupts him before he has the chance to say something, "i want to. but, i can't just shut off the way i feel — i was raised the way i was and with the trauma i have gotten along the way, i can't just forget it."

more tears fills his eyes, before he moves incredibly closer to her and brings her close to kiss her forehead. "knowing you want to believe it is good enough for me."

when he pulls away from her he smiles warmly at her. "let's go cuddle now, yeah?"

the softness in his voice makes her smile. "sounds like a plan, pete." she murmurs with a nod and leads him to their shared room.

once they're inside of their bedroom, [y/n] walks over to their shared bathroom, to change into her set of pajamas she set aside earlier in the day, after she had just gotten back from her father's home — she used to call it her home, but that all changed once her once-very-close relationship with her father changed.

after she changes and brushes her hair and teeth, she takes in a deep breath and tries to mentally prepare herself for the rest of the night.

but, when she shuts off the light and opens the door, she comes to realize that the bedroom is empty.

she walks out of the bathroom and looks around, her eyebrows quickly knitting together in confusion.

and just as she's about to call out her boyfriend's name, she hears hushed voices outside of the room.

with much more confusion filling her body, she slowly walks out of their room and into the living room, only to see peter standing at the door, talking at the door in a hushed voice.

"pete? is everything okay?" she asks as she walks up from behind him.

he jumps a little in surprise, before motioning towards the door.

the blond hair of their current guest surprises her.

"oh, gwen. hi." she greets her best friend and then her boyfriend, wrapping her arms around his waist and leaning into him with her chin resting on his shoulder.

"what are you doing here?"

gwen shrugs. "i just wanted to check up on you — your dad called me, yelling at me because he thought that you'd left to go hide at my apartment."

the words that come out of one of her best friends' mouth shakes [y/n] to her very core — anytime she hears anything about her father, she gets easily nervous and scared.

in a matter of seconds, [y/n] slowly pulls away from her boyfriend's body.

she knows that she should try to pretend everything's fine and as if her friend's words don't affect her, but she can't help it.

if she had a few more seconds, she'd probably fall into a state of mind where she'd completely shut down.

but, when a light touch to her shoulder by peter shakes her out of her daze, she sighs and nervously finds her boyfriend's eyes on her.

"what's going on, guys? did something happen?" gwen asks worriedly after seeing the tense look on [y/n]'s face.

peter doesn't speak. he doesn't even look away from his girlfriend — his eyes simply say that the decision is all hers.

despite the fact that him and gwen are pretty close friends, he's always respected [y/n]'s choices.

with a sigh, [y/n] turns to gwen. "i kind of had a run in with my dad earlier."

as she hears that statement, gwen begins to notice the bruises on her best friend's face.

she frowns. "are you okay?" she asks, but after a moment, she groans and rolls her eyes at herself.

"i'm sorry. that was insensitive — of course you're not okay."

[y/n] laughs, despite the seriousness of the situation. "it's okay."

gwen gives her a pointed look, not believing for one moment that what she asked was okay.

"really, gwen," she says, finding some courage inside of her. "i'm probably not okay. but... " she trails off, suddenly feeling like everything is going to be okay with the ones that truly love her by her side.

"for the first time, i think i'm going to be okay — that everything will be okay." she says confidently, moving even closer to peter and practically burying herself into his arms.

gwen smiles. "good. i'm glad."

—————

AFTER A LITTLE BIT MORE of talking, they all finally say their goodbyes and peter shuts the door gently.

they move over to the couch, peter covering them — mostly [y/n] — with one of the fuzzy throw blankets that was lying over the front of the couch.

"you doing okay?" he asks softly as she lays her face into his neck.

she smiles, feeling reassured for the first time.

she lifts her head back up to look at him.

"i know going back was stupid. i do—" before she can continue, he interrupts her with guilt evident in his brown eyes. —"i'm sorry, bug. for how angry i got earlier."

she tilts her head in confusion. "what do you mean?"

"i shouldn't have gotten upset with you. and i'm sorry for startling you. i was just worried." he murmurs seriously, frowning at her confusion.

"i just... every time i think about your dad being near you or hurting you, well, it drives me crazy, sweetheart." he says, trying to ignore the anger in his voice every time he thinks about the type of person his girlfriend's father is.

"pete... it's okay. i'm not going to go back — i learned my lesson." she says, cupping his jaw with one hand, in order to try to calm him down.

he sighs, leaning into her hand and covering it with one of his own.

"that's the point, sweetheart. you shouldn't have to be cautious and scared to avoid him, so that he doesn't act like that. it's not okay."

she frowns, wishing that she could stop him from worrying.

but, she also knows that he needs to get these feelings out and off of his chest.

"tell me, peter. what is it?" she asks, being the understanding girlfriend that he loves — no matter how cliche that actually sounds.

"i love how good-hearted you are, sweetheart. the way you always see the good in everyone, despite what they've done to you — it's amazing," he starts, pulling her hand away from his jaw to hold over one of his legs.

"and i never want you to stop being that person. but, i also hate that you have to avoid him. you shouldn't have to give up your happiness and peace."

she nods in clear understanding.

he groans again, leaning his forehead over hers.

"it's okay, peter."

he pulls away and opens his mouth to say something in defense, but she stops him by speaking before him, "peter, i know it upsets you that he doesn't get to be punished for his actions and i get that."

he stops short, giving her a chance to finish talking.

"i know you hate that. but, i know that you love me more than any urge that you have to give him what he deserves — and that's what i need you to do, okay? love me more than you hate him." he frowns at her words.

as if noticing his hesitation, she says, "for me. please?"

he sighs in defeat and nods. "fine. for you." he murmurs as he pulls her closer into his embrace and body.

she smiles in victory as she lies her head on his shoulder. "i love you, peter parker. you know that?" she murmurs, cuddling up close to him.

"i know i can always count on you." she says, once more, smiling as he chuckles and stretches over to kiss her on the forehead.

"good. because i love you more and i'll always hold you when you need it, dove." he murmurs, smiling at her calm and at peaceful face.

and like that, they cuddle until they fall asleep with peaceful expressions on their faces.

[roeyliteratiforever]

So if your looking at things from Jess' pov his mom just kicked him out to live with his uncle he barely knows, he has a lady he's just meeting for the first time talking to him about how she knows what he's going through and to him it feels condescending even if it wasn't meant that way by Lorelai. He doesn't want to be in Stars Hollow initially so he starts acting out to test how quickly he could get sent back such as stealing garden noms...etc, then he meets a girl who shares the same interests as him and the only person in town so far that doesn't automatically treat him like a preconceived opinion about him and she makes him feel comfortable so he proceed to impress his crush with writing notes in her book margins (that says I want you to know me) and pulls pranks that would make her laugh to then learn she has a boyfriend and learn that he is beloved by her mother that loathes him.

Dean does all the "perfect boyfriend things" while being a possessive, explosive, and an emotionally abusive control freak. Jess only wants to then spend more time with her, but the whole town already thinks he is trouble because of the reputation he set for himself.

He gets into a car accident with Rory and people then act like he's the spawn of Satan. He becomes so anxious and feels so bad after the accident that he leaves town because he doesn't want to cause Rory any harm or get harm from the weirdo townies. When she comes for him in New York he gets this burst of hope in him which is why he decides to move back for the possibility of being with Rory.

After Rory kissed him the first time he was so gone for her and in that moment that was all he wanted. He genuinely thought she was going to break up with Dean and choose to be with him, but when she didn't and left instead (my boy who already has deep abandonment wounds) is hurt because she didn't outright choose him and left. He then was alone without the one person in that town that he wanted to be around and so he met Shane who didn't want anything serious so it was a perfect way to try to mask his pain with her. He mysteriously gets a car, and people are going nuts thinking he stole it, and he's thinking I can't even get a second job without people thinking I'm a criminal, and I can't get a second job without people accusing me of being a drug dealer or a stripper.

Once him and Rory get together he is so happy he doesn't want to mess it up with her and he gets nervous because he wants everything to go right. She's the one he's been waiting for and now he has her. Then her ex boyfriend starts stalking and harassing him in secret and he feels like he can't do anything about it, and can't even tell his girlfriend about it because he thinks she won't believe her if he told her, so he bottles it up. When he gets attacked by the swan and she thought he got in a fight with Dean and didn't believe him it really hurt him. (I don't blame Rory for this she had no way of knowing and Dean was being manipulative with his "nice guy" and shitty behaviors but it still hurt Jess none the less.) After that he begins to put up his walls again.

When he realizes he's been messing up after not calling he then starts trying to do better and set dates and plans to be with her. All he wants to do is make her happy at this point. Then he gets the news that he's not graduating and in that moment it feels like everything everyone had always said about him came true, he felt like a failure and knowing that he wasn't going to be able to keep his promise to Rory that he would take her to prom crushed him. He wanted so badly to be there for her and do all the boyfriend things and he was so afraid of telling her he wasn't graduating and so upset he couldn't keep his promise to her. His smart girlfriend was getting into an ivy league school and he wasn't even going to graduate highschool and the thought of telling her that was horrible to him.

He could feel he was losing her and he thought once he told her that it would be over, and ended up messing things up with her anyways. He felt like he was doing her a favor by leaving because he figured she would want him gone. He didn't think she would want him to stay, even though that's all she wanted. He was battling his demons alone and was used to everyone shipping him off when he messed up that he thought he was doing her a favor by leaving after he messed up so bad.

His father that left him as a baby showed up in his life for the first time and he didn't know how to handle that. Once Luke kicked him out he ran to his dad that left him because crashing on his couch or floor was better than staying with his neglectful deadbeat mother.

He finds out his uncle was hiding his car from him and felt double betrayed he was already feeling abandoned yet again after Luke kicked him out to then find out he took something he worked so hard to get from him he was more betrayed. He comes back to Stars Hollow to get his car and everyone still wants him gone. Luke tells Jess to stay away from Rory so he proceeds trying to avoid her while he is there and he knows how badly he messed up with her and he wants to talk to her but when he sees her at the firelight festival he wants to explain to her but she is still so mad and all he could get out was that he loves her. He just wanted her to know he then leaves because he doesn't expect her to say anything he just wanted her to know. Jess is deeply hurting at this point inside and his pain is at it's peak. He just keeps digging a deeper whole and doesn't know how to fix it at this point.

Luke convinces Jess to go to his neglectful mother's wedding and goes to a bachelor party where he is assaulted by his stepdad to be at a bar and he naturally goes into defense mode. He was so used to his other abusive step dad's that he was constantly in defense mode and fought back. He goes to his mother's wedding anyways and walks her down the isle despite everything his mom put him through. Luke gives him the self help book that he had been reading, and Jess reads it and tries to better himself as well, meanwhile Lorelai scoffs to Luke about it. (I love Lorelai but that was extremely uncalled for by her and it just makes me think no matter what he does or how better he becomes he will always resent him, and it just makes no sense that she has this one sided grudge with a kid that was deeply in pain.) He makes up with Luke and thanks him for everything he did for him, and then he goes to try to apologize and tell Rory how he feels, but then he sees Dean there and he is thrown off and he just wants to make things right so in the spur of the moment he asks her to leave with him because he just wants to fix what they had. (He wasn't thinking rationally, but he meant it when he said she could count on him now and so he went out and turned his life around and made something for himself and came back to show her how much she could count him now even if it meant as a friend. He would still be there for her and he showed her that he could be the person she always knew he was. He still didn't expect anything from her he just wanted to show her his book, and let her know he couldn't have done it without her.)

He was so badly traumatized while him and Rory were together and it couldn't have possibly worked out at that time. He was battling so much pain internally, and everyone in that town was against him and actively hating him 😭 and I just feel for what he was going through, and I'm just so proud of who he turned out to be. I'm not sure what this rant was anymore but I'm just thinking about Jess' perspective and his pain right now. He was in so much pain while him and Rory were together and he didn't know how to properly express that or tell her that, and I just want to hug him and I'm so proud of him for how far he came and how much he overcame his pain and trauma and ugh I just feel so much right now. (Also I had a lot of coffee today and my autistic/ADHD brain is just going with thoughts right now.)

[cerastes]

I was wondering, are there any characters in Arknights that on the surface are jokesters, but anre actually immensely deep and powerful? I know about characters like Jaye and Nothing, but they aren’t particularly funny and casual. What I’m looking for is someone like Sans, basically.

"Nothing isn't particularly funny" oh we're just fundamentally different people then because I smile like a babe listening to jingling keys every time he's in the scene.

In the exact same regard as Sans, 1:1? Not really. Similar enough in some regards or in essence that they warrant mention? Yeah, I'd say so.

Aak is a good case, I'd say. Aak is a very casual guy, perhaps excessively so, referring to Doctor as "my dude" and in general having a very whimsical whistle to his steps, not to mention his seemingly jovial soul. Then you dig a bit deeper and you realize, well, despite the way he behaves, he takes what he does extremely seriously and is one of the most ruthless characters in the cast as a whole, in addition to being a medical sciences prodigy the likes of which Terra has seldom seen, and being infamous in the criminal underworld as a vigilante and executioner that has no qualms disposing of a mother fucker, if said fornicator of moms is a criminal and adversely affects others. See, the thing with Aak is that he, for the longest time, hated being so good at the medical sciences, because as he saw with his own twisted father, a brutal underworld doctor and criminal, curing illnesses doesn't begin to truly rid the common man of their suffering: There are always oppressors, abusers, those who selfishly make lives difficult for others for their own gain. Aak believes that to be a truly good "doctor", he needs to eliminate the root cause of the people's suffering: Criminals that will hurt them. Since his cooperation with Rhodes Island, his views have shifted a bit for the better (understanding people better, finding a good friend that shares his latent curiosity and love for the medical sciences and research in Warfarin), but it's still evident that Aak remains an unstable vat of fluoroantimonic acid waiting to bubble over, if the right trigger is present. He's not particularly powerful, with all his evaluations being "Normal" and "Standard", but his ruthlessness, his knowledge of the underworld, and his deep knowledge of medical sciences do make him quite dangerous despite "my dude"ing you.

Ceobe is the other one that comes to mind. Ceobe basically replicates the experience of having a big dumb loving dog, not just with Doctor, but with others as well, such as her canonical friends Vulcan and Sesa (Sesa being someone that also qualifies imo), and is in general a fun goober that livens up every scene she's in on virtue of, well, being a big dumb loving dog with all that entails: She WILL break into the kitchen even though she knows it's forbidden for her to do this, she WILL steal food, she WILL whimper and apologize, she WILL grow immensely defensive over her loved ones over things like "a loud vacuum cleaner" and WILL act over any perceived threat with maximum power; the entirety of Integrated Strategies 1, Ceobe's Fungimist, comes about because Ceobe gets high on hallucinogenic mushrooms she found in the jungle, and goes apeshit because she imagines this whole scenario where Villains have kidnapped Doctor and only she and whatever friends she can recruit on the way can save them, resulting in her beating the absolute shit out of numerous warrior tribes Dynasty Warriors style. Let's talk about that last part! She beat the absolute shit out of numerous warrior tribes Dynasty Warriors style while high as fuck on shrooms. She can do that! Because Ceobe is actually fucking shredded. Despite being a Funny Dog, Ceobe is a legitimately Arts genius, having no formal training and yet being able to use Arts with no problem, almost instinctively, as well as simply being able to harness pretty much any weapon she touches and empower them further with her Arts. Part of this is definitely because she's VERY Infected, but not even that explains just the sheer magnitude and expertise with which Ceobe seems to use her Arts. And speaking of? She dragged herself, across much of Terra, while incredibly Infected and with no care at all.

Ceobe, by all rights, should be dead. Not even the Medic Operator that wrote her medical file has a lot of faith, and her Oripathy is explicitly very grave and only getting worse. And even in this state, she dragged herself and the small arsenal strapped to her back across the world.

Her Physiological Endurance rank of Outstanding is no joke. Keep in mind, this is a rank equivalent to the toughest and most resilient characters we know of, such as Specter and Hoshiguma.

This is all stuff you'll only ever realize about Ceobe if you pay attention, because she's almost exclusively used for comedic relief, but the funny dog is actually a natural archmage and weaponmaster that just won't fucking die, if we were to use more fantasy adjacent terms for her.

There's more (like Sesa) but those two are the ones that jumped to mind.

[randomfoggytiger]

Gethsemane, Bill Scully Apologia, and Maggie the Emergency Contact

Dialogue and Play-By-Play Analysis:

Bill: "I picked up the phone when they called Mom. I thought you could use a change of clothes."

Scully: "Thank you... where's Mom?"

Believing her cancer is still a secret, Scully automatically places Bill's importance below her mother, wanting to talk freely with Maggie (without Bill.) Bill sees and understands this; and is hurt that she still won't open up to him despite being here, now, for her. As of yet, he doesn't act on that hurt.

Bill: "I didn't tell Mom what happened...."

Scully: "...But I'm okay. Luckily."

Bill: "You're not okay, Dana."

Scully: "I told Mom not to tell you."

Bill: "Why?"

Scully: "Because it's very personal. Because I don't want sympathy."

For all of the just criticism against Bill later in this arc, here he is holding back his anger (an expression of his hurt) and listening, really listening to his sister. He keeps quiet, giving Scully room to fully explain herself; and even sympathetically locks eyes, giving her his full attention.

Another thing of note: he is staring at Scully with the exact look of sympathy she wanted to avoid. Mulder and Maggie know her enough to acquiesce to her "I'm fine"s; but Bill is her life-long peer, and siblings can't hide truths from each other as effectively as they can their parents or partners.

"You think you can cure yourself."

Bill realizes that his sister never told her own family-- him-- about her cancer because she does, even now, believe she can cure herself. He's stunned, shocked, even appalled; and that leaks into his voice, coming across as judgmental.

Scully doesn't deny it, caught; and sighs, frustrated, that he divined and overly-simplified something she hadn't expressed to anyone and probably would not have been able to without a beautiful speech prepared ahead of time.

"Mom tells me that you've gotten worse. That your cancer's gone into your bloodstream."

This explains why Maggie told Bill in the first place: she cracked under the strain Dana's edict of secrecy put her under, watching her daughter slowly die without any apparent attempts to circumvent that death or even to bond over their shared tragedy. Bill became her only recourse... and Bill spilled the beans (as he does, again, in A Christmas Carol.)

Scully is shaken by his bluntness, unable to shy away from the truth spoken so baldly to her face.

"What are you doing at work getting knocked down? Beaten up? What are you trying to prove-- that you're going to go down fighting?"

Scully: "Now, c'mon Bill--"

Scully is deferring back to an old sibling dynamic: Bill misunderstanding, or only understanding enough to feel she's acting out of turn; and her attempting to draw him away from his preconceived notions. In this case, however, he's right; and she's avoiding the truth of that (subconsciously.)

Bill stops her by slapping down the clothes, getting her full attention.

"Y'know what Mom is going through? Why do you think I didn't tell her when they called?"

"What should be doing?"

Bill: "We have a responsibility-- not just to ourselves, but to the people in our lives."

And he's absolutely correct here: Scully has been so focused on work and its promise of a cure that she's forgotten to give space to those suffering alongside her.

"Just, just because I haven't bared my soul to you or to Father McCue or to God, it doesn't mean I'm not responsible to those important to me."

Here Scully reveals she thought emotional distance and soldiering on was her way of protecting her loved ones from her burdens, providing them strength in the face of her worsening health. In reality, it worsened their fears and burdens; and furthered their isolation... except for, ironically, Mulder, who wasn't ready to face the implications of her impending death, anyway.

"To who? This guy Mulder? But where is he, Dana? Where is he through all this?"

Bill is less right here: from his perspective, Dana has (once again) wrapped herself up with a man whose authority and work ethic supersedes Bill's love and concern for his sister-- another in the pattern of their late father and Daniel Waterston and Jack Willis. Bill isn't stupid: his above reproach also reveals he knows Mulder knows about Scully's cancer; and the fact that her partner did and still left her alone to deal with it to "pursue his career" while Bill hasn't been able to be there to support her at all eats away at him, makes him hate the man. (And still he's civil when he meets Mulder, even talks with him in terms he believes a workaholic will understand-- "Let's keep the work away from here"-- only getting rough when he misinterprets Mulder's blank face in response-- "Let her die with dignity.")

Despite being wrong here, Bill still hits the mark; because Mulder did wander off on a quest. But Scully can't argue for Mulder without betraying her own reticence, her own need to keep Mulder in the dark for Mulder's sake-- because that would betray her feelings in a way that she doesn't want to discuss with Bill, especially after Mulder has consistently dodged that serious conversation for years now. So, she picks up her clothes and ends the conversation.

In-Depth Analysis

Maggie Was Scully's Emergency Contact

The hospital called Maggie when Scully was rushed in, unconscious; and while this doesn't outright disprove the theory Mulder might also be an emergency contact, it certainly fits in with the pattern of him being called to the hospital and let into Scully's room by Maggie and not the other way around (i.e. One Breath and Wetwired.) Furthermore, Mulder isn't alerted (that I know of) to a missed call from the hospital after his return to civilization, meaning the hospital didn't notify him at all.

Bill the Bully?

Is Bill a despicable figure? Most definitely... in a deleted Memento Mori scene-- which is why I think they cut it. Though his words are brusque, even cruel in their blunt honesty, Bill, apart from that scene, doesn't seem to willfully inflict or weaponize guilt against his sister, wielding it only as a reminder of how much her family is left out of her life, how much they want to be there for her and don't understand why she won't let them in. It's a fundamental difference in how they approach life; and both are forceful about their insistence on doing things their own way.

Scully is used to being everyone's source of strength (Maggie places her on a pedestal even above her brothers in Memento Mori), which hinders her from opening up or betraying her weakness. Being "the strong one" for so long turned into a fear of failing others; but this reticence has the opposite effect, ostracizing and distancing her family (and Mulder) in her struggles to keep them unaffected. Their divide grows as the years go on (though it seems an equilibrium of sorts has been reached after Emily, since she mentions them fondly in How the Ghosts Stole Christmas and indirectly in Millennium.)

Bill Is Right (in This Instance)

On its face, Bill's speech is unrelenting and out of left field... but is it, really?

Bill is told about his sister's cancer only when it has become irredeemably terminal. He arrives on land, either before or after Maggie's revelation, and finds the rest of the family ignorant and his mother having to shoulder that burden, alone, because his sister refused to let her tell anyone else the news-- meaning, Maggie has been suffering in silence the entire cancer arc, trying to abide by her daughter's terms for space and silence on the topic. However, Scully's definitive terminal diagnosis broke her; and Maggie, having no one to turn to support because Dana still refused to talk about it, finally confessed to her priest and reached out to her son for strength. Bill sees how hard this has been on her and tries to alleviate that burden by adopting his sister's methods: keeping Maggie in the dark as much as possible. It honors what he knows to be his sister's wishes and his mother's fears.

In this scene Bill is absolutely in the right. He and his sister, while not incredibly close, have no ill will between them; and he finds out that not only has she been slowly dying for months and sworn their mother to secrecy but she also still refused to tell him, even when he dropped everything to bail her and Maggie out with this act of kindness. This is wrong-- it is-- and his speech rebuking his sister is as deserved as Scully's are to Mulder whenever he acts only in stubborn self-interest.

Bill is hurt, Bill is grieved; and Bill drives that home, peeling back his sister's denial by exposing her true intent: "You think you can cure yourself." The ludicrous nature of her expectations-- cure incurable cancer and never tell a soul so she won't have to 'suffer' the shame or embarrassment of their sympathy or pity-- galls him; and he's right. It's Scully's struggle and her burden; but it's not just her struggle or burden: her family and loved ones are losing her, too, and that pain is just as powerfully frightening. Bill wants more from her than an immovable pillar of strength-- and that's a good thing. Maggie needed her to be "the strong one", and Mulder needed her to keep fighting; but Bill just wanted his sister to tell him the truth and let him in.

A last note: Bill grew up with Dana-- he knows her propensity to get lost in father figures and demanding authorities. He probably sees Mulder as another Daniel Waterston or Jack Willis, an extension of her undisguised adoration for their late father. He's naturally protective (as we see in Redux II, though grossly misplaced) and thinks Scully is losing that stability in herself the more engrossed she becomes in her work (ex. Gethsemane-Redux II and A Christmas Carol.) These fears and concerns are expressed in overbearing finger-wagging and anger rather than communication, a (sadly) common affliction in a family growing a more distant with time and lives necessarily apart.

Scully Believed She Could Cure Herself

Since Memento Mori, Scully's modus operandi has been to avoid, avoid, avoid the topic of her cancer (and the death of her father, her abduction, etc.) The following cases rarely touched on her illness unless she had a concerning diagnosis or needed further treatment, i.e. Zero Sum and Elegy. Radiation was likely ruled out as ineffective since the skirmish with Dr. Scanlon (and was a drain of her valuable energy and health without any chance of helping, regardless); so, Scully probably opted for more obscure treatments, buying time while she and Mulder chipped away at their work.

In the back of her mind, she believed, truly, that she wouldn't die: that her cancer could be tucked away from her family and cured before Bill or the others ever found out. As we know, Maggie bore the brunt of her daughter's edict of silence alone, finally caving when the cancer reached Scully's bloodstream. When Bill waits for an explanation-- staring at his sister's defiance and stubbornness and pure conviction that she's fine and that the family shouldn't be worried about her at all-- he figures out her blind expectation and avoidance-bordering-on-denial and says, appalled: "You think you can cure yourself." Scully dips her head, exposed and embarrassed.

The beginning of Gethsemane proves Scully was still denial: "my dying wish" she professes on the one hand only to reject the priest and shake her head at Bill with the other. No, Scully did not expect to die alone without her family there. When Bill demands, "We have a responsibility-- not just to ourselves, but to the people in our lives", she parries, "Just because I don't bare my soul to you or to Father McCue or to God." Scully thought she was doing her duty by keeping her loved ones in her thoughts while carrying out her solitary battle. When Bill strips her of her further excuses-- "Who? To this guy Mulder?"-- it peels back her hyper-focused perspective, reminding Scully that it's not just her and Mulder fighting the world.

She did her family and Mulder and herself a disservice by pushing them all away to "protect them", as she realizes in Redux II: being "strong" stripped them of the ability to support each other and was damaging in the long run. In this, Bill is undeniably correct. However, where Bill is wrong is that he doesn't see that Scully believes in Mulder's ability to save her, that by following him she is doing what is best for herself.

Her partner's fervor and hope give her strength; and his inability to break under defeat keeps her fighting even in her darkest hours (and does end up saving her life.) Scully put such faith in Mulder and his abilities and his theories that she kept council only with herself (as much as possible) to keep him going, to keep the weight off his shoulders (and her mother's and her family's) so that they could move forward as a well-oiled machine, ready to snatch the cure whenever they got their hands on it. And Mulder did get his hands on it... and then it failed.

She's dying; but it's not until the cure fails that the dam breaks: everything Scully had been fearing comes rushing out of her. She gives in, crying to her mother about her crumbling lack of faith-- because the miracle cure didn't work, because her months of waiting and hoping in private were all for naught, because she's going to die and there's no possible way to escape. But it's also freeing: she can own her fear, hold onto her mother, clutch Mulder's hand, cry with the priest, finally lean into and start to heal from the weights she's been holding on her back, alone.

And she prays: death is near.

Scully Wanted to Please Bill, Too

As she told Ed Jerse in Never Again, "There are other fathers."

The ouroboros twirls on and on in her personal life, goading her to both make a stand for herself and to placate Bill's expected reactions. In this situation, she did deserve his anger; however, this dynamic continues to play out in Redux II and A Christmas Carol, separate circumstances that are outside Bill's scope of understanding or perspective. After each confrontation, her brother always backs off and begrudgingly acquiesces his sister's boundaries; but it's easy to see why he clings to his late father's behaviors-- viewing them as the only way his sister will confide in him-- and why Scully automatically responds to-- albeit with more guilt than openness-- and rejects his methods.

It's an aspect of their relationship that fell to the wayside as the series barreled onward; but there are hints of resignation on his part after the events of Emily unfolded the way they did (silent support in the courthouse and true remorse in the church.) Scully, however, is locked in grief and unwilling to open back up, yet. We're never shown on-screen what happens next; but he seems to have caused her no further problems in spite of her professional and personal scares in the future (including almost being burned alive, an unexpected trip to Antarctica, job demotion, and getting gut shot all within the span of a few months.) Perhaps he gave her up for loss, perhaps he stayed close but distant, perhaps he withdrew from the drama all together. We'll never know; and, ultimately, it's up to individual interpretation.

Conclusion

This scene sets up the hinge upon which the cancer arc (and any future Scully family drama) twists and turns.

I don't believe Bill is bad, or even malevolent: he, like any other person in a family strained with distance and death, doesn't seem to blame Scully entirely or for long; and only wishes to get through to her somehow. We saw him bully her as a child but we also saw him gift and teach her how to use a bb gun. Scully, meanwhile, balks at and softens over Bill's bluster and overstepping, always effectively putting him in his place after courteously listening to his opinion. We saw her yell and shove him as a child but we also saw her gleefully play alongside he and Charlie.

In conclusion: like all sibling relationships, there are headbutts and there are fights; but it seems, at least by their conversation here and succeeding ones in the future, that any hitch or bump in the road is smoothed over, ironed out, or fixed before it becomes permanent. Bill makes excellent points that Scully takes into consideration, changing her future dealings with Maggie and Bill and even Mulder (namely, her willingness to open up in Detour); and Bill, having said his peace, supports his sister in her decisions the rest of this arc and later in S5.

That we know about.

Thank you for reading~

Enjoy!

[onskepa]

Hey! How about neteyam x human reader? Back on earth, she had been working at a circus and knows lots of tricks. May she show him some?

Ngl it reminded me of the Amazing Digital Circus. BUT! I will stray from that! So I used black butler for reference and other circus stuff to get the idea. So I hope you enjoy this one~!!

-------------

Ko'on

Na’vi are flexible by nature. Running, swinging, swimming, doing so many activities that make their bodies lean and very strong. Broken bones or an injured body part is bound to happen. Neteyam knows this, he has fair share of getting hurt, being scrapped and on close calls breaking bones. 

However, what neteyam can't wrap his mind around is how boneless the humans can be. How flexible they looks, as if their skin is made of rubber or some material that can move freely. 

Best example he can put is his good friend ko’on. She can move in such strange ways that neteyam would believe she has no bones. Bending completely backwards, forwards, or walking around with just her hands. Better yet, do archery with her feet! Ko’on would give brief explanations of how she was able to do such things. But never a full blown explanation or proper reason for how she can be so…movable.

“Hm, this is pretty good actually,” Ko'on comments as she happily eats some dried meat. Neteyam was sitting across from her, staring down in worry and being slightly weirded out. Ko’on notices his stare and looks up at him, “what? Do I have something on my face?” she asks. 

“Does it hurt?” he asks. 

Ko’on looks to her left and right, shrugging, “what hurts?” 

“Ko’on, you have both of your feet beside your head while bending backwards completely. How does that not hurt?” he wonders. 

“Ooohh, well it is the same as you hanging upside down, it's normal. Nothing hurts” ko’on answers simply as she takes another bite of her little snack. “Wow, looks like i'm going to ask your mom to make more of these tasty treats-”

“Forget the meat for one second and tell me how that works. Do you even have bones??” neteyams interrupts ko’on. She rolls her eyes and sits up normally. “I do have bones. I am just flexible from all my years of being a performer back on Earth”. 

“A performer?” he repeats. The girl nods, her mind swinging into nostalgic mode. 

“Yuppers, I used to be in a circus” 

“What is a circus?” Neteyam asks after a couple minutes of silence. He and ko’on were taking their time walking around in the forest, him walking calmly as his friend jumps and makes some neat tricks on the branches and vines.

“A circus is a wonderful and even magical place. With a big massive tent that can hold hundreds of people! There is a ringleader, the host and team player. Then you got the stuntmans, the silly clowns and dare devils! There was a whole team of amazing performers”

Neteyam listens happily as ko’on goes on of her time at the circus. And from how she describes, it seemed to be a fun place where everyone was able to enjoy themselves. Perhaps that would be something his family would enjoyed.

And seeing ko’on go on, smile as she explains what roles and shows they had, neteyam wouldn't mind hearing her all day.

“So, what was your role in the circus?” he asks. Ko’on smiles widely, spreading out her arms almost like in a T-pose. “My role was the acrobatic performer. I could jump, lift, swing in tight ropes, walk in thin ones, and almost fly high! And my flexibility made me light as a feather” ko’on said with such enthusiasm.

Neteyam couldn't help but chuckle a bit, “well, if you are as amazing as you say. Perhaps you can show me a few tricks?”. His friend looks down at him, tilting her head a bit, “you want to learn to be flexible?” she asks. Neteyam nods, “as much as I can be”

 “You make it look so easy…….!!” neteyam stumbles on himself, falling down from trying to copy ko’on. The girl in question giggles as she sits with her legs over her shoulder and walking around with her hands. “I think its your tail, might be in the way of not properly balancing yourself”. 

Both straight up from the failed position practice. Dusting himself off, neteyam wasn't ready to give up. “Is there anything that doesn't have my tail in the way?” he asks, and immediately ko’on nods. “Yuppers! Balancing on a thin rope, or since we are outside, the vines. Your tail might help you alot in this”. 

Ko’on takes the lead in demonstrating him as she easily stands still on one of the nearby vines. “The key is mental control. Try not to think you will fall over cause then you will. Be calm, be in the moment, be in the zen mode and it will be easy”. 

‘Well easy for her to say’ neteyam thought. Seeing ko’on walking around on the vines was amazing truly, but neteyam felt like he might die if he takes one wrong move. 

“Also dont sway-DONT SWAY!!” 

Too late, neteyam swayed too much on the right that he fell. Luckily the fall wasnt that high. He grunted as he landed on the groun, hissing a bit at the pain from landing on his side. Ko’on jumps down with grace and goes over to him. Bending down to examine him, she suggests “how about a break?” 

He nods to that. 

Eclipse was reaching soon so the two take their sweet time making it back home. 

“Hey, maybe with some stretches and other stuff, you might be able to pull it off. I was going a bit hard on you "Ko'on says, breaking their silence. Neteyam nods to that, but remembers something. 

“The circus…is it still a thing on Earth. When you talk about it, you say it with a bit of sadness” he points out. Ko’on nods, a sad smile matching the mood of her eyes. 

“Unfortunately, circuses is not the same. Heck, when I was in it, it was nothing like how it was 100 or 200 hundred years ago. The circus had different kinds of animals. Wild and exotic animals. But as years go by, those animals would stop being shown…and they would be extinct..” 

“So what happened? No more animals..? 

“In a way, yes. But holographic animals. Its not the same, and before I left, they wanted to change the circus forever. More than usually and I hated it” ko’on says with anger growing in her voice. Neteyam blinks a bit, wondering. 

“Changed it? How?” 

“Getting rid of actual performers and stunts, all what makes a circus, gone! And to replace it with the oh so “The amazing digital circus!” ko’on says in a rather mocking tone. Neteyam contained his inner laughter. Not wanting ko’on to see it. 

“And the ring leader isn't even a real ring leader! Just a talking gummy jaw with floating eyes and a weird ass bubble assistant!” 

Im sorry, I had to put it in. But that was a goody! Hope you like it! I might come back to fix it cause im writing it while being half asleep. So, until next time! See ya!

-----------

ko'on = Ring, oval shape, closed ring

[peaches2217]

My first therapy appointment in several months went really well! I’m returning to the councilor I’ve had for a couple years now. I updated her on my transition journey because the last time I saw her was a couple weeks before I started on T; I told her about coming out to my dad last night, and how disappointing it was.

The ensuing conversation was both productive, and so fucking validating.

My recent depressive episode? Complicated by an event with a former friend, but set into motion, and dragged out for so long, because of the stress of what was to come. My voice has gotten too low to even PRETEND it’s just a holdover from being sick or part of allergies or what have you. I’ve known for the past month that the time to tell my dad was coming. The fear of his reaction and the consequences it could bring since I’m currently in a financially vulnerable place was killing me.

And as we talked, I figured out that the unpredictability is still my only real, big fear: my dad promised me he wouldn’t kick me out, but there’s that lingering fear that he could change his mind, and even if he doesn’t, he could start draining my paychecks — I told him my GAC, insurance copays and all, has been coming exclusively out of my pocket, so I get the sneaking suspicion he’s gonna take advantage of us sharing a bank account and deepen that financial dependency. And above all, I’m afraid of losing our relationship. I’m okay with him not accepting my identity so long as he doesn’t treat me any differently in spite of it. But if he starts pulling away or pushing me away or withholding love as punishment for following down a path he disapproves of, what then?

My counselor told me that, sad as it is, I can’t control how he chooses to react. But I have my mom and brother’s support, my girlfriend’s support, and an online community of friends; if I lose my relationship with him, that’s ultimately his decision and his loss, and no matter what he does, I won’t face it alone.

I had hoped that assuring him I felt God’s peace in my choices and that I’d spent years praying over the situation would at least sorta put him at ease, but all he did was infantilize and illegitimize my entire experience as guided by evil and selfishness. I can’t reason with him or come to a happy medium with him like I did with my mom. The faith he’s praised me for sticking close to he’s now decided is all lies and self-delusion simply because he doesn’t like the conclusions I’ve come to. Nothing I do will satisfy or convince him… so why waste energy trying?

I just have to live with his disappointment, and as much as it hurts, it’s also freeing. I’ve done all I can do. I don’t have to hide anymore. I don’t have to live with the stress of what will happen once he knows, because for better or worse, he knows now. If he doesn’t like it, so be it. I’ve laid my cards down, and how things progress between us is entirely up to him. When I put aside my stress over our relationship, I feel nothing but confidence and happiness and certainty. If he thinks this is a mistake… well, he’s gotta let me make my mistakes. I spent 20+ years not doing anything for fear of what bad might happen, and that left me a suicidal wreck by age 18. I won’t sit by and let ominous warnings and premonitions hold me back any longer. It COULD be a mistake, or it COULD be the best decision I’ve ever made. How will I know if I freeze up in fear?

My counselor noted several times that I look, sound, and act more confident than she’s ever seen from me. Without the pressure of keeping secrets, I’m able to more easily sort between what thoughts are mind and what thoughts my dad, my trauma, or both have planted in my head. I can say with my whole chest that I feel I’m going in the right direction. I can even say “Fuck it, my dad’s approval or disapproval is on him, not me” with greater conviction. I’m acting on things I’ve wanted from the moment we first spoke, and she says the positive change it’s made radiates off of me. She said she’s extremely proud of the progress I’ve made.

I’ll be seeing her again next week, then dropping down to seeing her every other week. In spite of how relatively poorly last night went, I feel empowered. God I’m so glad to be back.

[gaycrunch]

I couldn’t stop thinking about the ask I sent last night about Daniel and Max wearing half heart shaped necklaces with each other’s faces on them, so I wrote this. Set during their time as teammates in RedBull, right before Daniel leaves (also there’s a moment in this fic that happened in an interview a few months ago, so that obviously didn’t happen during their time as teammates at Red Bull, but I really wanted to include it lmao).

“Will you put it on me?” Max asks, and his face looks so fucking hopeful it does something to Daniel’s chest he doesn’t want to think about.

He’s glad that he can’t see Max’s face as he puts it on, fearful of what Max’s face could do if he saw how Daniel’s hands were shaking as he closed the ends together. He couldn’t have another repeat of months ago when he had called Max’s buddy during their interview. It was subtle and probably wouldn’t have been noticed by those casually watching it, but Daniel had watched that one part over and over again to try and get the gears in his brain to stop turning. Had Max wanted him to call him something different, perhaps another word that starts with a b that would have made the interview a source for probably hundreds of headlines.

“I’ve got it,” Daniel says quickly, the words flying out of his mouth when he sees Max raise his hands. He’s done it again, but this time much worse as Max’s flinches away. His face this time is much worse and a lot less subtle in hiding his hurt, so worse that Daniel has to look away as he struggles to put the necklace on. ”Sorry. Can you-”

”You have to practice,” Max says quietly behind him, his breath tickling the back of Daniel’s neck. “I would have to help my mom after she put on lotion when she was getting ready for work,” he gets back in front of Daniel, but won’t meet his eye, instead he looks at the half heart with his smiling face on it, “luckily we did not get matching bracelets, those can be more difficult,” he finishes, finally meeting Daniel’s eyes.

“The website I bought them from had a discount if I ordered matching bracelets to go with each half,” Daniel says with a soft laugh, his eyes flicking down to watch as Max’s thumb runs across his face on Max’s necklace.

“What would yours have said?” Max asks, tilting his head slightly.

Daniel couldn’t think of an answer and still can’t, even when he’s in bed later that night. Max’s voice echoes through his mind before he finally falls asleep.

-

Surprisingly enough, Daniel isn’t that scared when he’s finally asked about the necklace. He’s made a plan and written out a script in his head for what he would say and do. He was prepared, or he surely thought he was.

“What is this necklace that you’re wearing? We’ve seen you holding it before races in your garage and have all been wondering what it is,” the interview asks.

He knows it’s a part of his job, but he would rather be relaxing after qualifying, not being asked questions related to the man he hasn’t been able to get out of his head.

Though he spent what felt like hours in his head going over every question a person could potentially ask and how he would respond, the question startled Daniel. It makes him feel like when he was a kid and his parents caught him doing something he shouldn’t have been doing.

If he visibly looks that way, he puts on a smile to try and hide it and ignore how he feels his face heating up.

“It’s uh,” he pulls it free from where it was tucked against his chest. Time feels like it slows down as he turns his half of the necklace around. He’ll never be able to take this back and that terrifies him. He gets to control the response, of course, and if he wanted to, he could deflect and say that it’s something personally that he’ad rather not share, but he knows that’s the number one way to draw attention to it.

He’s never felt this possessive that over something wasn’t his seat in his Formula 1 car. This is his and Max’s thing, no one else’s.

“It’s just a little joke between friends,” he says, showing the face on the charm to the reporter, “it was a parting gift for Max. He has a matching one with my face on. it,” he says over the sound of laughter from the resporter and others in the room that were watching.

”Is it a good luck charm?” The reporter asks. That was one way to put it. he wasn’t going to explain to them though how he just didn’t feel right not wearing it. He wasn’t really even sure why he felt the need to wear it himself.

Maybe it just made him feel closer to Max, especially now that he’s made the decision to leave him. It wasn’t like he was leaving him, just that he was leaving Red Bull for a better opportunity. He didn’t even know if Max still wore his. It could be in a drawer somewhere already collecting dust. Daniel could just do the simple thing and just ask, but he was too afraid of what the answer could be.

“Something like that,” he says, keeping it simple. He wasn’t going to tell them about how before each race he would run his fingers along the jagged side. Sometimes when he pressed his finger too hard, it would hurt, but it would always make him feel more calm.

“Okay?” Max had asked one of the times Daniel had pressed too hard. He found him sucking on the tip of his finger trying to sooth the little pinprick of pain.

“Yeah, mate. I’m all good,” Daniel responded, pulling his finger free.

Max watched him for a moment before a smile lit up his face and his eyes brightened like he thought of something.

Daniel’s eyes tracked Max’s long fingers on his racing suit as he pulled the zipper down to show off his matching necklace. His fingers moved from the zipper to his half as he stepped closer.

Daniel’s breath caught in his throat when Max’s other hand brushed his chest on the way up to his half of the necklace. Daniel smiled down at the heart when Max brought them together, and his smile grew larger when he heard Max’s giggle.

“Together again,” Max whispered.

Daniel thanked the Formula 1 gods that the race was about to begin to save him from doing something stupid like kissing Max right there in the garage. He couldn’t help himself afterwards as he watched Max pull on his helmet, the blush in his cheeks hidden away from the rest of the world. Like it was another secret, another special thing that only he and Max knew.

-

In reality it doesn’t take long for the story of their necklace to be flushed from the everchanging news cycle, but it still feels long enough for Daniel. He should feel happy, and he is, but ever since the story came out, Max has felt more distant and cold than ever.

It wasn’t unusual for Max to give closed off answers to questions, but Daniel expected that to be to the media, not to himself. And when he didn’t need to answer anymore questions or talk to anyone, Max was getting as far away from Daniel as he could.

“Max!” Daniel called at Max’s retrieting figure, “Max!” He called again, this time louder. He shakes his head, trying to shake off the anger he can feel swelling inside him, but ends up using it anyway to push through the door into Max’s driver room.

”What do you want, Daniel?” Max questions, his back towards Daniel.

“Can you at least look at me?” Daniel questions back. He doesn’t wait for his reply and instead turns him around by his shoulder, “Max,” Daniel says, not liking the way Max still won’t look at him.

“What?” Max whispers, and Daniel doesn’t like that either. Doesn’t like how small his voice sounds, or how sad his eyes look.

“What’s wrong, Max?”

Too over Max’s sudden dislike of him, Daniel unzips the top of Max’s racing suit, just enough to see-

“I know what you do with yours before races,” Max says, finally answering his question. He brings his hand up to keep Daniel from touching his half, like he’s guarding it, “but you have not asked what I do with mine.”

”What do you do with yours, Max?” Daniel asks, his voice soft like he’s afraid Max will run away. He places his hand that was reaching for the necklace onto Max’s neck, his fingers finding Max’s pulse. It hammers under the pad of his index finger, making Daniel feel all the more nervous.

Max raises the half up to his lips and kisses it softly, right on top of the image of Daniel’s smiling face. “A kiss for good luck,” he whispers.

“Max,” Daniel says, just as soft, feeling like a broken record. His hand moves from Max’s neck to cup his cheek and his heart melts when Max leans into the touch. “Can I?”

Their necklaces clink together soon after Max nods and Daniel presses his lips to his. They both laugh when they pull away and aren't able to get too far after the half of Max’s heart has wrapped around the chain leading to Daniel’s.

[lucyfrostblade]

Hi! Just saw your reblog and I'm so interested in your thoughts on Fig and Kipperlilly being similar, and was wondering if you'd share?

Yes! i am always down to talk about my two favorite fantasy high characters but before we get into it, some assumptions I have made about FHJY that aren't explicit in the text but I won't necessarily be justifying here:

(under the cut)

Kipperlilly was in some form or another manipulated by porter

Kipperlilly truly cared about Lucy, and to a lesser extent the rest of her party

The biggest and most obvious similarity between the two is the anger they feel. When we first see Fig she's a deeply angry kid. She hates her mom for hiding the truth of her parentage and for wrecking their family the way she did. And while she forgives Gilear much faster than Sandra Lynn, she also starts off incredibly angry at him.

Her anger is very justified, and it's centered around the ways the adults in her life mistreated her. Sandra Lynn by hiding the fundamental truth of who she is from her for so long, and Gilear by, before the start of the series, saying that she isn't a Faeth anymore.

Our introduction to Fig is her taking that anger out on both Sandra Lynn and Gilear, and she does almost immediately see the error of her treating at least Gilear the way she does.

Brennan: You see a little tear forms in his eye and you see he says, Gilear: I know that I said some hurtful things when I first found out. Fig: Yeah, you said, “You're no longer a Faeth,” and guess what, I'm not. I'm just Fig now. Gilear: Fig, I'm sitting here with beans on my shirt. Fig: I know, I saw you ate one on the ride here. Gilear: I was hungry, all right? I've put on some weight. You ever heard of a fat elf? You ever heard of it? I've never seen a fat elf in my life and I'm here with a bad comb over and beans on my shirt. Fig: Okay, fine. Gilear: And I'm reaching out to you. Fig: I'm sorry, Gilear, I'm sorry that I got angry at you. You're just some random man, I shouldn't be mean to you.

But for almost the entire season, Fig does not forgive Sandra Lynn. She's still so angry with her that she struggles to see Sandra Lynn as a complex person right up until episode 15 "Family Fires", is unsure as to whether or not Sandra Lynn is a good person worthy of saving:

Emily: Because I am undecided on my mom. Because at first, I felt like I, oh maybe she's a good person, but now I maybe feel like she's part of this ruby plot. Brennan: Go ahead and give me an insight check. Emily: (rolls) 14. (emotional acoustic guitar music) Brennan: (sighs) Your mom has never lived up to the standard you put on her of making your life good and perfect. She never was able to protect you from all harm and suffering in the world. And maybe that's not fair. And she's probably just a person, and those photos make it look like-- Emily: She's a complex person. She's allowed to be. Brennan: Yup.

So anger, and in particular the ways it can make someone lash out, is something that Fig is intimately aware of, something that she has had to fight to control herself. The difference is that the adults in her life helped her, they supported her. Gilear, Sandra Lynn, and Gorthalax all gave her the space she needed to be angry but also helped her move past that.

Kipperlilly didn't have that. To our knowledge she only had Jawbone, someone who only knew her through Aguefort and evidently did not know how to help her in the ways she needed.

There's also the matter of Porter who, in the third episode "After the Afterlife" singles Fig out when she audits barbarian class:

Porter: Let's see what everyone else in the class, [players laugh] what do other people, what do other people kind of think? Like young lady, what do you think about rage? Fig: What do I think about rage? Porter: What do you think about it? Fig: [sighs] Well, I kind of think it's inevitable, 'cause, I mean, like, people really let you down left and right. Porter: Yeah! Fig: So you're always gonna feel rage. It's just a matter of whether or not you use it productively or just whether or not you control it or it controls you. Brennan: A small tear forms in the corner of his eye. Porter: That's exactly right. That is exactly right. That is amazing.

He sees something in her. Porter sees the rage within her, and he encourages it. But more than that, Fig's perspective that "you control [rage] or it controls you" highlights another contrast between Fig and Kipperlilly. Fig learns to control her rage, while Kipperlilly literally gives control up to the shatterstar. But they still have that same rage, just on the opposite ends of expressing it.

We also know that Fig cares deeply about her friends, and that prior to the start of the series, her former friends abandoned her when she started to grow horns. She was alone when she came to Aguefort. She was isolated from her peers and from her family. She found the Bad Kids, and she is utterly devoted to her friends. She'll do anything for them.

But Kipperlilly? Brennan said in an interview with Caitlin Tyrrell that the Rat Grinders didn't know each other before forming the party. We don't know how the party formed really, but we know that she picked out the name the High 5 Heroes.

I think the High-Five Heroes part of it is sweet, but there's actually something even a little bit sinister to it to me, of being like, "We're the High-Five Heroes." And you're like, "You've pitched a name; we all just met. We don't have anything going yet." ( source )

He calls it sinister that she insisted on the name, but I can't see it as anything other than said. It speaks to me of a kid so desperate for friendship that she's willing to force inside jokes for just a hint of that. She doesn't want to be alone, and Fig might've put up a better act, but she didn't want to be alone at the start of Freshman Year either.

The difference is who they found. Fig got the Bad Kids, people who love and care about her. She had support from her friends and from her family. Kipperlilly was emotionally in a very similar state as Fig but with none of that support, and even had people who either couldn't support her (Jawbone) or wanted to encourage this isolation and rage (Porter).

Kipperlilly is Fig if the first day of school went different, if she ended up with people who didn't understand her like the Bad Kids did and if she couldn't get the support she needed from the adults in her life.

[thiccpersonality]

What Is A Father?

What is a father? 

This is a question Bruce has been pondering on for awhile now, especially now that Father's Day is coming so quickly. A part of him still feels the stinging pain of loss from all those years ago, yet also Bruce finds his heart warming at the memories he shared with Thomas Wayne...somewhere in his mind echoes the deep rumbling laugh of the doctor. It has been so long since Bruce has felt those strong arms wrap around him, his body trying desperately to recall the smell of medicine and antiseptics that always seemed to cover his father.

Bruce sighs loudly while turning to lie on his back, his nostrils flaring at the sudden scent of Thomas Wayne suddenly in the room. Icy blue eyes shut tightly at the tears that start to form in his eyes, it's been so long...yet that smell is undeniably his late father. There is the smell of the medicine Bruce hated so much mixed with antiseptics and yet something...warm, like a campfire, something very earthy and natural that was so undeniably Thomas.

Hm? With these thoughts, Bruce thinks he'll never get to sleep now.

The man grunts softly as he sits up against the headboard, his back cushioned by his pillows as he looks to the ceiling in thought. Because what is a father to Bruce? A father to him is many things, one of them being something to lose and mourn, but Bruce knows that is his negative side talking...everything in life is something you can lose, so he knows that people aren't too different.

As Bruce is thinking about the question, his eyes fall closed, his body still upright on the bed as an unconscious smile tugs at his lips from the memories playing in his mind...

-A Father Is: Structure-

Bruce was only three, small and innocent to the ways of the world and all the mess it can cause. Oblivious to the lies and gossip of the media and what they say about his family, more specifically, his father and mother. Though he is oblivious and naive, Bruce isn't a stupid kid, he knows that something is bothering his mother by the way her hands reach up to play with the pearls that adorn her neck, can see it in the slight furrow of her brows and the way she keeps tapping her armrest with her manicured nails.

And when his mama is distressed, Bruce is distressed as well. 

The toddler pouts at the hushed conversation that's going on across the room, his toys long forgotten as he watches his mother carefully as she whispers something aggressively to Thomas. Bruce's head tilts in confusion at the calm smile placed on his papa's face, is nothing actually wrong? Why is his mom so upset and his dad so relaxed?

Bruce scoots forward, being able to do so easily as his parents are distracted with their conversation, leaning in closer when he gets close enough to hear what they are whispering to each other about.

"How can you be so calm about this, Thomas!? They have been doing anything to try and ruin your name and reputation, and quite frankly, I don't know why you would invite the same people who talk about you behind your back into your home. I'm just-" Bruce's frown deepens at the anxiousness and exhaustion in Martha's tone-"I'm just so tired of people talking about you and I. I'm afraid that they will one day pull our baby into all this mess and Lord knows I don't want that for him, Tommy."

Bruce doesn't know exactly what his parents mean...but he feels himself getting upset at whoever is hurting his mom and dad. His daddy is good and kind and helps people, does no one else see it?

A gentle hum from Thomas catches Bruce's attention, the small tot freezing in place when he looks up and sees that warm gaze directed towards him. Thomas Wayne smiles gently at his son and holds his hands out for the child, "It seems we have a little guest, Martha. Looks like it's bothering Bruce as well." Martha gnaws at her lip in worry at seeing her little Bruce toddle his way to Thomas, the boy's face looking uncharacteristically worried for him and someone his age. "I'm sorry, my little Brucie. Mommy didn't mean to worry you-no? What do you mean no?"

Thomas and Martha watch as Bruce shakes his little head, "Not mommy. Bad people lie about daddy and mommy...that's not true. You're good, why can't they see it?"

Martha melts in her chair, her fingers stopping their constant tapping as she turns questioning gaze towards Thomas. "I don't know, Bruce. Why can't they see it?" Thomas sighs fondly at the slight aggravation that's still in his wife's tone, his arm tightening around Bruce while he leans over to hold Martha's hand in his own. "Sometimes people are complicated, this is something we know. I cannot say exactly why they can or cannot see what we see, Martha and Bruce, but one thing I do know is that I am happy where I am with you two and no lie or rumor can change that." Martha softens further at the gentle kiss placed on her hand and the kiss her husband plants on Bruce's cheek.

"I also know that I am in charge of how I choose to act. It can be hard to face lies...but I know the truth and that's all that matters to me, now, why don't we go smile and laugh and enjoy our night?"

Bruce relaxes in his father's hold, amazed at how calm Thomas can be despite everything feeling so scary, holding firmly onto the relaxed smile his dad is giving and doing his best to imitate one of his own.

XXX

Bruce sighs softly at the memory, his lips stretching into an imitation of his father's smile as he remembers how assuredly his father was in a moment where himself and his own mother weren't sure. Bruce always remembers Thomas being firm and unwavering in moments where anyone would shake and tremble, there was always a kindness and an understanding to him that Bruce always wondered about...

-A Father Is: Understanding-

Thomas and a four-year-old Bruce walk down the street hand-in-hand, the doctor has a rare day off and miraculously has not been called in for work at all, and because of such a rare thing, the older Wayne decided it would be a great time to go out into the city to bond with his son. Bruce does his best to keep up with his father as they turn the corner to head to their car, the child grunting as he bumps into Thomas's leg from the man abruptly stopping.

"Daddy?" Bruce questions while looking up to the older man for an answer, huffing and stomping his foot lightly at the lack of an answer from him, what could he be looking at?

Bruce looks to where Thomas is looking, the boy's eyes widening at the child standing in front of their car attempting to pull the tires off. Bruce hides behind his dad, his small hands gripping the man's pants leg tightly in fear as to what will happen next, his shoulders relaxing somewhat at the hand that rests gently on his head comfortingly. "Don't be afraid, son. What do you say we go talk to the young man?" 

Thomas chuckles at the look Bruce is giving him, the man choosing to smile kindly and walk forward quietly, trying not to laugh louder at his son attempting to pull him back from the other boy.

When they get close enough, Thomas places his hand on the kid's shoulder and clears his throat, effectively startling the young teen out of his concentration. "May I ask why you are trying to take my tires, young man?" Bruce hides behind Thomas's leg more when the older boy looks down at him for a moment and scoffs suddenly, "I don't hafta explain shit to you...old man. You wouldn't understand." Bruce feels his brows furrow in irritation at the boy's behavior, feeling indignant on his father's behalf at the tone the boy is taking with him.

Before Bruce can say anything in defense of his dad, Thomas just gently squeezes the teens shoulder again with a hum.

"Maybe I wouldn't or maybe I would. You never know unless you tell me everything over a meal, is that alright with you?" Bruce looks up at his dad in confusion, this person was just trying to steal their stuff and he wants to feed the boy? But he is always told that stealing is bad and you face the consequences of stealing, Bruce knows it to be true as when he attempts to steal snacks, he's scolded, put in timeout or popped on his backside depending on it.

Bruce isn't the only one baffled by the question, the teen looks around before staring back up at Thomas cautiously. "This your idea of a joke? I don't need pity or your sympathy, okay? I'm doing just fine on my own."

Thomas listens to the boy complain before nodding softly, "It isn't a joke. Nothing about this situation is funny...and I don't doubt that you are incapable of taking care of yourself, you seem to have some kind of experience on how to. But, you must be stealing my tires for a reason, yes? There is absolutely no shame in needing or asking for help, no one should be alone and struggling, especially a fine young man such as yourself. Now, how about that offer if you'd indulge this old man?" Bruce watches as something in the teen softens, no doubt there is some sort of caution still put up, but the boy looks more confused and in shock that Thomas is being genuine in his request.

"Uh...sure?"

------

"That's pretty much it. Guess your gonna call the police on me now?" The teenager, now known as Caleb, leans back in his seat while pushing his empty plate away. He looks content with the food, but something in his eyes is tired and lost as he asks the question, Bruce hears him asking: "you gonna toss me away too?" And that makes him sad for Caleb and how he thinks he's unwanted or unlikeable.

Thomas shakes his head, "No. I'm not calling the police on you, obviously you know stealing is wrong as you were trying to do it in secret-" he raises his hand to stop the boy from saying anything-"though I understand now where you were coming from. But, I would prefer if you could actually work and make money for yourself and your little sister instead of resorting to stealing." Caleb crosses his arms defensively and looks out the diner window, "Yeah...well, no one wants to hire a street rat like me. Your kind don't like people like us, guess we are too savage and dirty for the likes of them." Thomas looks troubled at hearing that, his tone kind yet firm as he speaks, "Don't say that. I like you very much, and it isn't any fault of yours that you are in the position you're in, so leave that train of thought behind you."

Caleb turns to look at Thomas and physically squirms at the look the older man is giving him...it has been so long since anyone looked at him with love and concern, usually people are too busy looking at him with contempt, as if he's nothing but trash. "You are old enough to work decent hours for your age. Caleb, would you do me the honor of working at one of my wife's orphanages or homeless shelters? I don't want you to be on these streets anymore...and you can work hard for me in payback for attempting to steal my tires."

Caleb feels as if he's in a dream, "I tried to steal from you...and you want me to work for your wife? Y-You are offering me a job, why? What's in it for you, huh?"

Thomas writes down the address and his number on a napkin and slides it over to the teen, "For one: you would be off of the streets and two: you would have a stable enough life, job and living conditions for yourself and your sister. That is exactly what is in it for me...I know this must seem like a lot, and I know you don't trust me right now, but just think about it. There is a door open to you anytime you want to come to one of those addresses and that number will always pick up when you call." Thomas slides out of the booth with Bruce in tow, smiling at Caleb one last time before leaving the restaurant.

Bruce looks back one more time when they are outside to look at the teen, his lips lifting up into a happy smile at how the boy is aggressively wiping his eyes and hugging onto the napkin like it's a lifeline.

A soft ruffle to his hair causes Bruce to look up at his dad, "You never have to be afraid, Bruce. Sometimes...people behave in scary ways or in a way that makes us mad, but you never know what got them to that point." The four-year-old nods and then tilts his head curiously. "He stole though, papa. You always say that is a no-no." Thomas chuckles and picks Bruce up, kissing the boy's nose: "Yes, and stealing is a bad thing. But, I would rather give Caleb an actual chance to get better when he's never gotten one before. I know he'll do well at his job and then he'll learn better things and grow so much. That is how he can pay me back for the attempt at stealing." 

Bruce gasps like he's gotten an epiphany as he's lowered and buckled into his car seat, "Is he serving out his time like in jail?"

Thomas stares for a second before laughing loudly and nodding his head. "Sure thing, kiddo. Sure thing."

XXX

Bruce feels the phantom touches of a strong hand ruffling his hair and lips gently pressing to his nose. He always was amazed at how his father seemed to be able to talk to anyone, all he had to do was speak kindly and offer one of his soft smiles and it seemed no one knew what to do with it. 

Bruce recalls moments when he was a-in his own eyes-a little monster, brat, or just annoying. Yet Thomas always remained patient with him despite any inconveniences...

-A Father Is: Patient and Fun-

Thomas Wayne sighs tiredly as his five-year-old son keeps squirming in his lap, the boy won't settle down no matter what he tries to do. If he lowers the boy to the floor, he screams, and if he holds onto the child, squirming is all that happens. "Bruce, why don't you sit on the floor or go play while I work? Daddy has some things he needs to review and sign." There is a bit of hope in Thomas's voice as he suggests this, maybe Bruce will magically feel like going to find Alfred or pester his mother instead.

Alas, that is not meant to be the case as Bruce whines loudly at the suggestion of being "separated" from his dear father.

"No, play with me." 

Thomas closes his eyes and inhales deeply before exhaling, he loves his son, he really does, but if only the boy could leave him be for just a couple minutes to let him get his work done. "I can't play a game right now, bud. I have work to do that is time-sensitive, and if I don't do it, it will be very bad." Thomas hopes Bruce will quit by mentioning things being bad for him if he doesn't finish work, his son is usually so kind and understanding about those things whenever him or Martha put things that way, but when Bruce decides to be a gremlin about things...he sticks to the roll well and doesn't care.

Bruce pouts and squirms more, " No. It's not more m'portant than me. Play with me?" 

Thomas sighs loudly once again before perking up, "Oh! How about we play hide and seek? I bet you that you can't find me if you're the seeker."

Thomas smiles triumphantly as Bruce's competitive side comes out (he gets it from Martha) and he narrows his eyes challengingly before climbing down his father's lap and turning away while counting. While Bruce is distracted with counting, Thomas quickly snatches his pen and papers into his arms and runs out of the office and into Alfred's bedroom, hiding in the man's closet and slumping in relief at the silence while reading and reviewing what the papers say.

Back with Bruce, the child shouts loudly how "ready or not, here he comes." The boy checking around the office first before exiting the room and standing in the hallway, he's a bright kid so he avoids any places that he can fit into, he can be oblivious and naive, but he knows some of the secret places are too big for Thomas. Let's see...if Bruce didn't want to be found, where would he go? There are a lot of places in his home where he could potentially not be found, but there is only one place no one ever goes: Alfred's room.

Bruce giggles and makes his way to his best friend's room, sniffing the air and feeling happy as the scent of his father gets stronger the closer he gets to Alfred's room.

Thomas holds his breath as the door creaks open, what is with children being able to find their parents no matter what? The older man listens quietly and grows confused as he hears Bruce sniffling, did he make his child mad? Does he think he doesn't care about him anymore because he is trying to work? Before Thomas can reveal his hiding spot, he is interrupted by Bruce knocking on the closet rapidly with a few giggles. "I know you're in here, daddy! I can smell you!"

Thomas opens the closet door to stare at Bruce, smiling softly at the proud look the other wears on his face.

"It looks like you've got me. How about we make a deal? You let me finish my work and then I play with you to your hearts content." Bruce frowns and crosses his arms with a pout, trying to remain stubborn as Thomas pulls him into his arms, "Why don't you wanna play with me? I just want to be with you, papa." Thomas chuckles at the slight dramatics in Bruce's tone, but his heart warms at the soft admittance of his son, hugging the boy close and pressing a kiss to the child's crown. "I want to be with you too, in fact, I love to be with you. But, I also have big people work to do to help provide for this family and that makes me not able to play all the time, but it doesn't mean I don't ever want to."

Thomas tugs Bruce closer to himself until the boy is curled up on his lap, "Do you know how you get tired after playing with Alfred, your mother and I?" Bruce slowly nods. "Well, that happens with my work and when playing with you too, it's very fun, but there is a point and time where you stop to just rest. However, my most important job is making sure you're taken care of, just how your most important things are making your mother and I beautiful paintings to make us happy."

"And Alfred."

Thomas chuckles and nods, "Yes. And Alfred, he adores every picture you make for him, as do we. And do you like being disturbed when making us your art?"

Bruce slumps at the explanation, "I'm sorry. I just wanna play." Thomas quickly peppers the pudgy face in kisses at hearing the sad tone in the boy's voice, "You don't need to apologize to me. I understand what you are going through, I was a kid once too, Bruce. And I'm pretty sure I was worse when I was your age...I went out of my way to sabotage my parents work so they'd pay attention to me."

Bruce makes a weird face at those words and shakes his head, "You are daddy. You can't be my age."

Thomas laughs loudly and stands up with Bruce in his arms, blowing raspberries into the child's neck as he tosses him on Alfred's bed.

XXX

If he focuses hard enough, Bruce can feel the bed shake as if he is bouncing up and down on it, can feel the tingle of raspberries being blown into his neck and can hear Alfred's exasperated sigh at seeing his Masters messing up his bed. He really wants to stop imagining things of the past...but whenever his mind slips and allows those memories to push to the front of his mind, Bruce finds himself desperately grabbing onto those once happy memories like a lifeline.

Bruce knows there are many other things his father was: gentle, forgiving, firm, silly, brave, peaceful and many more things. But the one thing Bruce seems to remember most is the version of him that is lifeless in an alleyway...

-A Father Is: Someone To Mourn-

Bruce is eight-years-old and cold. He doesn't care that the sun is shining down to share its heat, nor does he care for the beautiful blue of the sky...if anything, he hates the colors and the happy chirps of the birds in the trees, despises the fact that nature is so happy when he feels so blue.

Bruce hates looking out the window and seeing his mom's garden in full bloom, the red of her roses mocking him as each petal dances to the sound of the breeze. They're red like two things Bruce can think of firsthand: blood and his mother's favorite lipstick...lipstick she'll never be able to wear ever again. Why do Martha's flowers get to bloom and live another day when the woman herself is gone now? How is it fair to his mother that her garden continues to flourish when she is no longer here to tend to it?

Bruce feels anger and looks away from the too lively garden, his eyes turning to the trees and the birds living in them. His father loved listening to the birds every morning, Bruce recalls watching the sunrise on the balcony with his dad as the man cradled him in his arms and listened to the birds. Bruce remembers his father telling him once that the birds are singing every morning because they are happy. That they are trying to extend their own happiness out to the world with their joyful songs, and Bruce remembers feeling happy when hearing the birds sing...but now it makes him sad.

He desires to tell the birds to shut up, there is nothing to be happy about when his whole world was taken from him a couple days ago, he hates how alive everything is and wishes the sky was grey with clouds. He wishes that the sun would hide and rain would fall in mourning of the people lost to him, he wishes that thunder would rumble and lightning would strike in grief and he wishes that nature would still itself and be quiet, that the birds wouldn't sing a happy tune as there is nothing to be happy about. The once colorful memories of Martha's garden and Thomas's trees are now tinted blue with sadness at memories Bruce can never share with his parents ever again.

Bruce looks up into the bright blue of the sky as a tear falls down his cheek, his chest tightens at the overwhelming feeling of grief in his heart, his knees shakily lowering himself to the ground as the scent of his mother's flowers in the air are now tainted by the smell of gunpowder. 

A sob escapes the child as he wraps his arms around himself in imitation of how his father used to, he doesn't want to feel cold anymore. His body trembles as the sound of the birds chirping is tainted by his father's pained shouts as he collapses to the ground, why is he alone? All alone. Where is-

A firm hand rests on Bruce's shoulder, tugging him into a warm body that smells like lavender and something slightly smokey.

Bruce hadn't even realized he was panicking until hearing the sound of Alfred's sturdy heartbeat, now that he has something to focus on, he focuses on the life beating in the other's chest. His body slowly starts to warm up as Alfred also presses his shaky hand to his chest, the other just simply being a solid presence when Bruce is scared and unsure. "D-Don't leave me...please don't leave me." Bruce whispers into Alfred's suit jacket, something oddly warm spreading through his heart at the bleak looking clothes Alfred is wearing, usually the man has at least a splash of white to add some color...but the man is wearing all black. It's like he's letting Bruce know that he misses them too, that he isn't alone in how mundane he feels and that despite how bright things are, maybe there is still room to mourn and miss someone who is lost.

"I'm here, Bruce. I'm right here."

XXX

Bruce comes to at a firm hand on his shoulder, his hand automatically reaching up to feel the now aged hand of Alfred, breathing in deeply at the man's voice. "Bruce, are you alright?"

Bruce opens his eyes and is shocked to see the sun light coloring the room in its beautiful rays of red and orange. Blinking twice at the wetness he feels on his eyelashes, Bruce finds he doesn't mind the splashes of color as much this time around, he knows he has so many things to grieve and feel saddened over...but he also knows he has plenty to celebrate for. The man standing before him looking down worriedly, that grounding touch gently placed upon his shoulder-

"Father."

Bruce's breath hitches as he looks towards his open bedroom door, his eyes watering at the slightly sleepy look his youngest child still has on his face, he has never seen something or someone so beautiful. Is this how his own father felt long ago when Bruce came to him during mornings or for Father's Day? Bruce opens up his arms and smiles as Damian doesn't complain and climbs into the bed, holding in his laughter at the sound of the boy's other siblings making a ruckus as they flood into his room. Bruce takes a moment to look back at Alfred and finds his heart swelling with love at the man he now calls father...he knows that Alfred will never be Thomas, but the man never expected to be, all he knows is that they both are what is and was needed in his life.

Thomas Wayne taught him many valuable life lessons while he was alive, but Alfred showed him the other aspects of what a father does: step up.

Alfred didn't have to take Bruce on as his own...and yet he took care of him, fed him, clothed him, comforted him, was patient with him, was firm and a solid structure when Bruce himself felt he was about to crumble. But most importantly, he showed him to love unconditionally and without any expectations from the person you care for, the man truly has only wished the best for Bruce in times where he would scream, shout and cry at or to Alfred...and yet the man only ever opened up his arms or offered his hand for the grieving child to take whenever he was ready to.

A small hand on his cheek breaks Bruce out of his thoughts, looking down he sees Damian staring at him worriedly. And when looking up...Bruce sees so many beautiful colors from the people he loves. Finding himself thankful for the proof of life from every single one of them. "I'm...happy?" Someone in the sea of children snorts at how it sounds like a question, but Richard shushes them and tackles Bruce into a hug, the one body slowly turning into a dog pile of giggling children (plus one cousin) as they all shout. "Happy Father's Day, dad!"

Bruce feels more tears fall down his face as he closes his eyes and holds his family close to his heart, finding himself thankful for the memories of his parents as the smell of Martha's roses blows through the room and the sound of Thomas's favorite birds sing loudly for Bruce to hear. And when opening his eyes to see Alfred standing at the side of his bed simply content to watch over them, it is Bruce who offers his hand for the other to take if he wants.

A genuine smile graces Bruce's face at the warm hand wrapping around his own. The man only finding one thing to say to the man who stepped up as a man and a father-

"Happy Father's Day, Alfie."

(I just wanted a fic about Bruce actually thinking about how much he misses his parents, but because it's Father's Day I focused on Thomas a bit more. I hope I wasn't sleepy enough to not have this make some sort of sense? But again, I apologize for the writing this time around. 😭😭😭

I am sorry for the lack of Bruce's children being involved here, but as stated before, I wanted to focus on Bruce actually pondering on how much he does miss his biological father while also being happy at the father he also found in Alfred. I wanted to show a Bruce who is realizing that it's okay to still miss his late father and it's also perfectly fine for him to love Alfred like that as well.

Near the end there is a slight parallel (that probably wasn't noticeable as I didn't exactly write it that way lol) between Alfred and Bruce as father's near the end, because Bruce stepped up and in for all of his children when they were scared, alone and unstable. I also got that idea because I feel I recall one time in a Batman comic that Richard mentioned Bruce stepping in for all of them and all that cute family stuff!

DC can try to rip good dad Bruce and happy BatFam out of my hands, but I won't allow it. That version of the family is all that should exist UwU, they deserve it all! You darlings are much appreciated for stopping by to read if you did. Don't be afraid to leave a comment if you want, I promise I don't bite! 😂

You darlings please stay safe, happy, healthy and of course lovely as always. And if you can...let your father's (whether bio or not) know how much you appreciate them or love them and know that everything will be alright, you just gotta believe. 💛💛💛💛)

[krishna-sangini]

After seeing @stardustkrishnaverse 's post about how our Kanha shares our grief and helps us to overcome them, I just wanna share this incident where this EXACT thing happened with me.

So, many of you may be aware that I've gotten into the Western dance society of my college. Soooo yeah. It was time to contribute to the funds. After doing so, you become official members of the society.

Now, here's a thing about my family: Dancing is not seen as something deserving of respect. Especially Western dance forms.

Sooo yeah, naturally my mom revolted. Like, how I'd spoil my academics for something insignificant, how I'd side-line my academics for my passion and stuff. I don't blame her. But then again, the fact that she just assumed I wouldn't be able to juggle the two things together hurt me.

In my childhood, I was barred from learning to dance at the age of eight because my father hated dancing (He still does). Since then till now, I have never asked them to let me dance professionally. And now when I had this golden opportunity, I was being asked to just let it go.

It may not seem like a big deal, but it WAS a VERY big deal for me.

I tried making my mom understand, but then she threw the final weapon, "Talk to your father".

And I knew it was impossible to make him understand. So, I just considered all my paths leading me to dead ends. I felt so freaking lost, I just cried my heart out. Then I legit called for Keshav. I requested him, more like begged him, from all my heart to help me through this mess. Like, I just simply surrendered.

And help he did. I texted my father about the situation. He called me the next day and talked to me about how I would handle both academics and dance and then he agreed for me to join the society officially.

A man who is simply repulsed at the idea of dancing agrees for his daughter to join a Western dance society.

Now tell me my Keshav isn't right beside me 24/7, listening to all my problems and waiting for me to ask for his help. From that day on, I feel more than reassured and loved knowing that my sakha is there for me every single moment <3

[footballfanficwriter]

Questions pt 2

Summary:where the reader is on an interview and she gets asked questions about Jude

"Welcome y/n Bellingham, how are you today?"

"I'm good, how are you?

I'm great, thank you ,so a lot has been going on in your life recently"

"Yeah, it's been a lot"

"With your husband being transferd to Real Madrid, the hate comments he's been getting from liverpool fans , just recently celebrating his birthday, your new movie that's just dropped and the new magazine cover that's got everyone talking ,aswell as your kids adapting to the new situation, how has it all been for you?"

"Uhhmm, it's been a lot I'm not gonna lie, when Jude came to me and told me that Madrid had made him an offer I lost it ofcourse, because it's Madrid you know he sat on it long and hard and made the decision and we knew it was going to be tough and we prepared ourselves,

as for the hate comments Liverpool fans have been throwing at him

I just feel like they should honestly mind their own business cause, it doesn't concern then nor does it affect their way of living , Jude made a decision that he thinks is going to benefit him and make him stronger as a football player and I'll support it, the fans or other people weren't considered when this decision was made

"And how did you celebrate his Birthday?"

"We couldn't really feed him junk food and cake and all that because he'd already been to Greece and France, but we had a mini family get together with the kids and his parents, brother and best friends and I think he enjoyed it, he looked grateful"

"That sounds nice and what about the 2 new projects that you've recently dropped, tell us about those"

"Well firstly, time was tight, we needed to work fast, because with the move that was happening, the kids and Jude not being able to play in the Euro Qualifications, I was living according to a schedule for three months, everything was scheduled, from family time, bath time ,dinner, I hardly got to see my husband through the three months but in the magazine it's something I menton aswell like being a working football wife with kids does take a strain on you and your family, but if things are done in a certain way everything works out"

"So in the magazine you talk about you life as a working football wife with children"

"Yes because most football wives just become stay at home moms, and I'm not saying that's a bad thing just that it's a very brave thing to do"

"Why don't you want to become a stay at home mom, I mean I know if I had that opportunity I would take it"

"Firstly it's because I would become bored out of my mind if I did, I've got ADHD, so I can't focus on the same thing over and over again and also because I'm plan B"

"What do you mean you're plan B?"

"I mean that a lot of the times you see football players getting hurt and having serious injuries that nearly ended their careers, I obviously don't want that for Jude but, I lie awake at night thinking what if he got really hurt and he had to quit, it would kill me ofcourse, but we'd lose everything that's in our name and the Bills for whatever the injury would be would be very high, I don't want to be taking out loans on my house just to pay for medical Bill's, so that's why I'm plan B"

"That is a very smart way of thinking, And did you have a say in the Transfer to Madrid"

"Yes, I did we sat down together, talked it out, for a long time it was a very had decision to make considering all the other clubs that were interested in Him especially because Liverpool made their offer first and when we got the offer we wanted to see how it would impact us as a family and the impact it would have on our children"

"Speaking of your children, how are they adapting to the new change?"

" they are excited, already they are definitely taking it better than I thought they would, they can't wait to learn how to speak Spanish"

"So in another interview, your husband shared a fatherhood story about Lelani can you give us a Motherhood story that you remember"

"Uhmm Jabilo,one of my sons loves helping out wherever he can, whether it's in the Garden, the kitchen, the living room, just anywhere he can help he wants to help, but he also loves to climb things, so on one of my day offs he got sick, so sick he couldn't go to school and he stayed in bed, it wasn't until I fed him and gave him some medicine, he started running around the house for no reason at all, then I had and idea to make cookies hoping it would calm him down, so I placed out all the ingredients on the counter to make it easier for me and all, then all of a sudden I get a call from Jude checking up on him and the mistake I made is that I left the kitchen, when I come back after the call my bowl was on the floor, with butter, sugar and an egg and an egg shell, with Jabilo just sitting on the floor, bowl in between his legs and him attempting to mix everything with his hands, while at the same time he's covered in flour , when I asked him, what he was doing he said "helping you momma" I know I should've been mad but my heart wouldn't let me"

"And your other son?"

"Jordan, is a very quiet kid, he keeps to himself if he doesn't know you, but he's one of the those people to be comfortable with people close to him like family and friends

But when he is comfortable around you he's the comedian of the family, he'd tell ridiculously funny jokes and make impressions of famous people it scares me sometimes, but I see Jordan as the creative one out of all three of my children and not because he draws on my walls, but because, for his birthday we got him this thick notepad with colors and crayons to draw on and he protects those with his life, everyone in the house knows not to touch them, only he can touch them and if you do, he throws tantrums, but he's stopped with it now so"

"Well Y/N thank you so much for your time and telling us a little about your life

"Yeah no problem, thank you so much