#and it’s actually scary to think about cause I’ve been drawing for 14 years now

[udon-udon]

Introspective post time  

One thing I seem to notice that I always come back to and makes me down is when I scroll through on Twitter and see someone I know get big numbers on their post, there’s a 50% chance (85% when I’m on my period PMS-ing) I would be like “Why can’t I have that/that happen to me”. 

But Udon, you don’t draw fan art/things that are popular, you don’t have super super pretty art, and you’ve come to the conclusion that you just want to draw art as a hobby and you’ll be drawing whatever you want, whenever you want. It’s hard to get big numbers unless a miracle happens. 

I’ve said I don’t care about numbers anymore. So why??? Do I, deep down, still care about clout? Does me wanting to be noticed/recognized = wanting clout? If so, there’s no way I can get clout with the way I go about with art. I’ve always and still am always fueled by Validation and Positive Reinforcement in more ways than just art (i’m like a DOG, dude, praise me and i’ll be the happiest bitch on earth). Is me wanting validation for my art = wanting clout? Is that in actuality what it actually is? Cause if it is, damn bitch fuhget about it. Like I said earlier, I don’t draw fan art/popular things. So Udon, you either draw popular things, or you shut up and entirely stop caring and actually stop caring about numbers/a dream that you never worked hard for/is not working hard towards. Stupid thing is I keep telling myself that, and I’ll always be like “OK!! YEAH I DON’T CARE ABOUT NUMBERS!!!” and then randomly one day it hits me again knowing that friends are doing really good!!! and I’m not hating on them don’t get me wrong, I’m just wondering why I can’t be apart of that.  Well, you can’t be apart of that because as mentioned earlier 1. You don’t draw fanart and/or 2. Your art isn’t super pretty or noteworthy. And it just becomes a vicious cycle, rinse and repeat. 

“OK!! YEAH!! I DRAW WHAT I WANT I DONT CARE ABOUT NUMBERS!!”

“-Sees people doing really good- -Gets sad and feels down-”

“Well, Udon, you don’t draw fanart and your art is not noteworthy enough so stop complaining and stop caring and stop being sad about it”

Repeat Steps 1-4

It makes me wonder if this cycle would stop if I stop drawing or even stop going on twitter (?) Would things be better and would i stop thinking this way if I stopped drawing altogether so I won’t have numbers/being noticed to worry about. 

Even back on deviantart/13 year old Udon days, I would daydream about woahhh having a lot of art friends and having a lot people like my art and always being like “ohoho that’d be so nice one day” but I still only kept drawing original art. LOOOL. Make it make sense, Udon. 

And it’s still carrying over now. I only draw original stuff or stuff no one cares about. I only draw what I want and things only I care about. I only want to draw things that really gets me riled up and excited, but nothing makes me feel that way easily anymore. For example, the new G Witch anime. Yuri!!! Yuri!! LESBIANS!! I love yuri. Definitely did pick the anime up even though I know nothing about gundam, but am I excited enough to draw the characters? No. I don’t feel the urge to draw them (er, well at least not now). Nothing gets me excited anymore. (Though I guess this is getting off topic) 

Anyway, bottom line is/TLDR: Udon has inner demons about wanting to draw stuff that she likes, but at the same time wanting clout/validation (which usually happens when you draw popular stuff instead of things that ppl don’t care about). Which doesn’t really work unless a miracle happens. It just seems like my mind is confused about what it truly wants and each side is contradicting the other hence making me go crazy about this topic all the time.

Perhaps I’m tunnel visioning. 

Maybe it all just stems from me wanting to be loved. 

[wildemaven]

Tagged by two lovelies @psychedelic-ink @something-tofightfor

1 - Are you named after anyone? I would say yes. But if you ask my mom she says no, she just liked the name. Here’s the thing though… My grandma’s name is Heidi (her mom)…. And I have a cousin on my dad’s side named Heidie (she’s older by like 3-4 years. So?? But here’s the kicker! My middle name is my mom’s high school sweetheart’s mom’s name, and then she married him when I was 8… 🤨

2 - When is the last time you cried? I honestly don’t remember and that is odd cause I usually cry a lot

3 - Do you have kids? Yes. I have 3

4 - Do you use sarcasm a lot? Probably more than I should.

5 - What is the first thing you notice about people? Probably whether or not they smile when I first meet them or their eyes

6 - What's your eye colour? They’re like a green blue

7 - Scary movies or happy endings? Happy Endings

8 - Any special talents? Uhhh I don’t think so

9 - Where were you born? San Luis Obispo

10 - What are your hobbies? Writing, Photography, baking, drawing, crafting in general

11 - Do you have any pets? 2 cats, 2 dogs and a leopard gecko

12 - What sports do you play/have you played? Played volleyball growing up, track in high school. Now I guess CrossFit. I was really deep into it in 2021 and was hoping to try and compete in local comps… but then I got preggers 🤪 I’ve been back at it again for the last 2 months so we’ll see what happens. I entered into the Open one year but definitely didn’t make it lol

13 - How tall are you? I'm 5'5”

14 - Favourite subject in school? English and History (Although I wish it wasn’t so whitewashed back then, definitely make a point to find actual examples of real history for my kids)

15 - Dream job? Hairstylist & Photographer (which I did), Designer (started going to school for fashion, but then went to beauty school), Interior Designer, Writer (this is still a goal of mine, so I’m gonna make it happen)

NPTs: @heythere-mel @kteague @mvtthewmurdvck @gnpwdrnwhiskey @words-are-fireproof @nothoughtsjustmeds and anyone else who wants to share

[aranarumei]

tagged by @hua-fei-hua! it’s been ages since I’ve done one of these it was kind of fun lol! sorry for the delayed answers...

1. are you named after anyone?

a couple of ppl assume my name is kiri because it’s like, referencing kirishima from bnha. i haven’t kept up with bnha properly since. honestly since the dabi reveal ch dropped so that’s… nov 5th 2020 lol. I’ve got residual feelings abt it but not much interest in actually reading it (sorry). nowadays I don’t get as much of that anymore—my name is just like. digimon dusk only lets your character have a 4 character name max so I hit various syllables together and keysmashed until it sounded good. im attached to it now.

2. when was the last time you cried?

…today lol. i cry easy when i'm frustrated.

3. do you have kids?

no. I have a Feeling this will be rather unrelatable to whoever I tag so. electing to present my own question:

3 (again). [FREE SPACE] recommend a song?

im gonna recommend Tsuru (en: Bowstring) by koyori / denbolP bc it’s great. I love this producer actually.

4. do you use sarcasm a lot?

mm I think im probably averagely sarcastic but like. I do have a habit of like. ex: someone will be like oh where’s [kiri]? when I’m literally right there and I have the immediate impulse to say, completely straightfaced, like “oh [kiri]? sorry they’ve been dead for seven years. they’ve never been in this room in your entire life.” so essentially I like doubling down on things when I think it’s funny.

5. what sports do you play/have played

i played basketball for six years!

6. what's the first thing you notice about people?

i think the first like, physical detail I pay proper Attention to is earrings. just cause I like em. apart from that it’s probably their voice and what they find funny.

7. eye color?

brown. comparatively I think it’s rather dark to the point of looking black.

8. scary movies or happy endings?

i mean I feel like this is a. false dichotomy but I really don’t have a good stomach for horror and stuff so. happy endings ig.

9. any special talents?

talents… I’ve memorized my squares up to 30-ish, so like if for example if someone says 28 I can rattle off 784. I’ve been told I have a talent for talking abt media I like but that’s also something said by my lovely friends lol.

10. where were you born?

on earth. im also electing to replace this with my own question:

10 (again). what made you make a tumblr account?

if ppl look at my blog they shall think I showed up in 2020 but I’ve actually been here since 2015. I just… deactivated my acct by accident when I meant to delete a sideblog. ok. so obviously I remade in that case. I made one back in 2015, though, because I was like, really into hxh and ran into some hxh blogs I was like. in love with. also some fairy tail fic authors I rly respected were on here. and I wanted to discuss hxh and post fic. so I joined.

11. what are your hobbies?

writing! and reading! and drawing! and playlist making. im basic. writing is probably #1 to me tho I rly enjoy it. like for all I complain about it I actually really enjoy the act of like putting down words and crafting stuff and editing. I’d actually love to beta fic more regularly. and get reallllly good at grammar (seriously if anyone has any resources on that chuck it at me) and action scenes. those r my big two dreams.

12. do you have any pets?

nope! i do have a depressing amount of wips I have not taken care of, tho…

13. how tall are you?

5’2” or about 158 cm, i haven't measured myself lately. I’ve been told my various sources that I have “tall person energy” tho. im not as good abt it nowadays but I tend to be a bit careful abt keeping my back straight. at the very least I’m pretty aware of it. I wanna say it was just cool of me to be that way bc I was into having good posture but I’m like 90% sure it was because I read skip beat and I really liked that kyoko stood that way.

14. favorite subject in school?

math by farrrr. literature is dependent on the teacher for quality imo and while I enjoyed it I was always a bit sad that we never did any creative writing. math is just very nicely methodical.

15. dream job?

honestly I don’t have one. like I’d love to publish a book some day but I don’t want it to be my Job. im pretty satisfied just doing smthing productive-feeling and where I have enough free time tbh.

no obligation to answer ofc to anyone tagged. also if you don’t want to answer any of the questions just reject them... I just provided alternates bc I felt like it. i think this is supposed to be 15 questions for 15 mutuals but i dont want to tag that many people... @icharchivist @sunnnfish @dirtbra1n @mxddyhero @heartsdash @watcher-ofthe-sky @estradasphere

[jess-the-vampire]

Sky And The Forces Of The Multiverse, Chapter 46

Previous / Next

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"There!"

Sunny wiped at her brow, happy with their final designs for their costumes, it had taken a lot of brainstorming and they weren't even close to being actually finished but they had made a lot of progress. Actually it was kinda nice to have both lexi and sunny here, they were both creative types like her and that made them perfect to bounce ideas off of when it came to stuff like this.

Sunny even helped her with adjustments for nora's hat.Sunny had made her own costumes back home, not that they were well made ones or anything, but she wasn't unfamiliar to the process even if it wasn't very good. Plus she liked sharing her own ideas, especially since she knew what she was going for, to be performers they needed an idea in mind and well...better sunny then anyone else, she liked to perform back home.

"Maybe this time you'll get to see me actually perform!", she said cheerfully.

"Yeah...can't wait to watch you run around with a mustache", sky joked, smirking, but she was a little bit serious after hearing how sunny's last performance went.

"Thank you!", she was all too cute, She was a light spot in a lot of this, always trying to make others feel good as best as she could. It didn't shock sky at all she and mason became friends, they had a lot in common. Though since their shared father was a demon with a fond love of soft small animals, sky had a feeling he was the main culprit for this similarity.

"So...how'd you get into acting and singing and whatever exactly?", sky cleaned up some of their mess as sunny hummed to herself, trying to clean sky's extremely messy room to the best of her ability, though with a little demon magic help on her side. "Oh? Well, When i was stuck in our castle all the time i was lacking in many things to do...so i wanted to find new ways to entertain my little brother...so...i started writing stories for him...then starting acting them out with puppets...then costumes...it just...sorta...became fun for me".

"Locked up like...how nora was?", she felt a bit of concern considering nora's situation beforehand.

"Well...not exactly...more freedom...but the only reason we stayed inside as often as we did is cause people tried to attack us all the time when we went out...so they felt it better we were protected a lot...not to say we never went out a bit regardless...but i have a bodyguard, trust me when i say it's weird walking around without a knight following me to protect me...i mean it's happening now but when i first arrived-", something about that seemed to surprised sky, maybe with how tough sunny was, but the mention of it all made sky remember something.

"So...the knife-?".

"Protection purposes...i learned self defense young".

"Huh".

Somehow that made sky even more terrified of sunny then before, but also safer as well, sunny seemed too innocent to be just as scary as she actually was but boy did it make you want to be on her good side all the more. Otherwise you might quickly meet a bad fate by underestimating her and her strength and power. Gee and all sky usually did was taze people and might occasionally get a blast at them if he wand was working properly that day.

A 14 year old prodigy with bodyguards, self defense skills, a knife, and who loves musicals and plays.

Behold princess Sunny, one strange young girl.

She still seemed a bit sheepish about the whole thing with her dagger, her shoulders tightning, "I never meant to hurt judas...it's just a part of my training, usually when a giant tentacle comes and grabs you like that you're not expecting it from a friend, I know he doesn't hold it against me but when you're so worried about being attacked that you end up hurting a friend, it does get to you...sometimes this stuff affects making friends...they think you're too scary".

"Eh...friends who hate you for that probably aren't worth being friends with anyway", sky simply grumbled, "We're all pretty bad socially...none of us had the best environments to grow up in and make friends in...i'm lucky just to have judas as my friend, otherwise i might've just been by myself for years without any friends...and...yeah, that'd be kinda depressing".

"A life without any friends is a sad life...", the small princess finished cleaning up, helping her sister Galexia get her drawings together. "We're only alive so long, better we enjoy that life as much as we can...when i get home i hope to make more friends then i ever could before...perform more, just get to enjoy myself a bit more instead of being stressed or scared".

"That...sounds nice".

"What about you sky?".

"Eh?".

She turned to face her directly.

"When we're back home and everything is back to normal...what will you do first?".

She blinked at her, waiting for an answer, but sky had to just respond with a shrug.

"Honestly? Not sure...i actually think i'll just...rest...i think there's no need to rush into anything and well...rest is something i need before i could do much of anything anyway.

Sometimes you gotta take the time to like...breathe right? Can't spend every moment busy or you might not like...get to enjoy everything, i might wanna slow down for a little after this...i think".

"Planning on getting some therapy?".

"Yeah, definitely.".

That got her to laugh, sharp teeth being exposed upon her laugh.

"Yeah...i think i might need rest when i get home too...", she seemed to be lost in thought, probably thinking about her family back home. It had honestly sounded overall like her parents were rather nice, maybe protective but overall rather great to be around. Maybe in truth the first thing sunny would do was hug them tightly and never let them go after this.

Sounded like something sunny would do.

"Thanks for being a big help sky, you're super talented! I'm really glad to have you as our kinda sorta leader...", Sky was being pessimistic but it was coming from sunny, so she probably most certainly meant it. And considering Sunny was considered such an important and brilliant person back home that probably meant a lot coming from her, even if sky didn't know the full weight of it.

"Y'know sunny?".

"Hmm?".

"Whether it's my fault you're here or not...i'm...happy you guys are here...i mean i'm not happy you're separated from your families and friends or anything of course, i just mean i'm happy i got to like...meet you all...even luna...it's just kinda been nice...having sisters. I've seen judas deal with his brothers for years and sometimes i wondered about if i had an older or younger sibling so...i guess this turned out to be a weird blessing for me...though i hate that it hurt you all".

"Well i never would've gotten to meet you and judas and angel, mason, landon...galexia...any of you without this happening either, it's going to make one heck of a play when i get back home i tell ya!", sky was just imagining sunny pretending to be all of them on a stage, acting out all the stuff they went through and found herself snorting with laughter.

Oh what a sight that would be.

She could just see sunny wearing fake spider legs for angel and stilts with a fake tentacle arm for jude.

"Wanna get some food...?", she perked up, her stomach growling and ready to head out for a break.

Sky was more then happy with that idea, maybe they could run into angel or nora on the way, though maybe they'd also run into Meteora if they weren't careful. Sky also wanted to check up on judas, after all he was getting his arm looked at more and sky wanted to hear what they found. Judas probably needed this check up, even if they didn't find anything.

Plus judas would probably like having company, even if sky and the others weren't there for very long.

Though they were being very closely watched on, reminding sky of the first time they had bodyguards, except this time they were so close sky could smell their breath. But this time, sky didn't mind them so much, in fact she liked having them there then she used to, it added just a bit more safety to their situation even if the guards probably wouldn't last long in a fight against Her.

The more meat shields the merrier at this point.

They hadn't even gotten far however when exactly what sky was worried about was standing nearby. Meteora writing something down in her little notebook, interviewing some other guards and knights in training that knew luna as well, she took her job pretty seriously it seemed. She was pretty good at getting people to talk, though it seemed the knights were MORE then eager to spill dirt on luna.

Geez, so much for nobility and loyalty.

Sunny was baffled at seeing her, and that's when sky remembered meteora knew sunny in her home, Sunny had been pretty open about that part. Sky wondered just how different the two meteora's were, guess if meteora was a spy for sunny she might've been able to figure that whole thing out way before though. Judging by her expression it seemed this meteora was quite a bit different.

If even in just appearance.

Though as much as sunny wanted to talk to her, she had to keep her mouth shut, she didn't want to draw attention to themselves and come off even more suspicious then they looked before. They were just going to have to walk past her and let her do whatever she was doing, sky taking the lead with the girls behind her, but even though sunny knew the drill.

Galexia clearly didn't.

She waved to meteora as they walked past, making sky and sunny both panic for a moment as meteroa glanced up and looked at them walking past her. She didn't react much however, though she did give lexi a smile and sunny a curious look before getting back to her interviewing. The girls heading past, trying to seem as normal as possible as they headed out of her sight.

"Meteora looks very pretty...", the demon noted, keeping her head forward to sky.

"Yeah...pretty...but also...intimidating...".

That's when sky thought of something, but the guards being there made it hard to really ask.

She waited till they headed to the kitchens, were the noises were as loud as ever to pull sunny aside, lexi looming over the freshly baked cupcakes. "Hey...question, meteora exists in your world so uh...why are you next in line for the throne? Why isn't she and eclipsa in charge?".

Sunny eyes for anyone who might be listening in and answered the curious girl, "Well, it wouldn't hurt to say but...she didn't like being in charge so she thought my parents outta do it instead since they were more interested...meteora and me just grew up kinda like sisters...it was something that just kinda worked out for everyone, plus eclipsa likes not having that pressure anymore.".

So it was almost like what eclipsa said happened in this universe, except with a lot more secrets and sadness attached that felt like it screwed some people in the process.

Gee if it weren't for the constantly being attacked and constantly put under pressure thing, sky would argue the world sunny comes from is next to perfect, having a happy family unit with no secrets between them. It really was no wonder sunny was the person she was, and it was no wonder sky had the problems she had. It was nearly like night and day, nearly.

She had a lot more in common with her siblings then she had actually thought, more then just being princesses and just sharing a single parent. No they had situations and issues that repeated between them, it was almost eerier in that regard, that sky ended up meeting girls who knew how she felt in several ways. She easily could've have gotten several sisters who were just...normal people.

Or killers.

If this wasn't somehow on purpose she had gotten seriously lucky with the girls who had shown up.

Hmm

Something about that got her thinking.

But she wasn't able to ponder on that too much longer as sunny helped lexi pick out some snacks for the three of them, grabbing something bonus for judas just in case he was hungry. The servants were staring at them as they grabbed stuff, to them these girls were just helping themselves to their treats without a care in the world, and the only reason they didn't tell them off was because sky was here.

Imagine living your life as a princess and then going into a world that just saw you as a peasant.

That had to be a weird shift.

Then again, not having that pressure must've been super relaxing for once. Sunny could honestly just chill if she wanted to, though if sky asked it was clear sunny would rather be with her family again and take the pressure then be away without it. If Sky had been transported to one of their dimensions without judas she knew she'd have a straight up heart attack.

She'd rather be queen with him around then not be queen without, that was for sure.

And that led her to pick out a treat for him as well, something she knew he liked the best.

Thanking the servers and staff before leading the girls out, munching on some fresh cookies and laughing together, she liked the vibes these two had, hey were just so...positive. They were the opposite of luna and celeste, positive, friendly, and easy to talk to and hang out with.

Hanging out with them as so nice, sky felt bad she had never really done it much before. She had been so stressed hanging out with her sisters felt like it would just waste time, but she really liked spending time with them, she didn't have that many friends who were female when she thought about it, nora not even counting much because they had only truly become friends recently.

Even though they were being followed by guards and barely allowed to properly talk it still invoked a nice feeling. Sunny and Galexia had clicked since day one and barely left the other's side since, hanging out more with each other then anyone else. Even now they were laughing among themselves, having a good ole time, and before sky could feel left out sunny was inviting her in to talk.

it was a nice break from the stress.

Judas was being checked up in the butterfly kingdom hospital wing, though thankfully in a room away from where they usually seemed to go when stuff happened, clearly his parents wanted to give him some more privacy and sky and judas both couldn't protest against that.

Last thing they needed was the press to get out about jude's arm acting funny when they already spread lies about his arm for years.

He was waiting on the bed when they were allowed in, his face lighting up at the guests coming to see him. He looked tired, but a long few hours of checkups will do that to ya, so much so he seemed happy when sky sheepishly handed him a snack. "You got me peanut butter chocolate chip cookies? Thanks so much sky! I've been hungry waiting in here", he beamed as he took a bite from her tray.

"They haven't brought you any snacks in here?", that sounded out of characters for either of his parents though judas finished swallowing as he made things a bit more clear. "No, i had a bit to eat, but i couldn't have much, they were worried it'd affect the tests...but thankfully i'm about finished so i can finally eat properly, i'm super happy you guys got me some stuff besides water and stale crackers...".

He was quick to chow down, taking some of the treats sunny got him as well with a pat to her head.

"So...what exactly did they do to you?".

She was making it sound like they experimented on judas like mad scientists or something but but clearly that wouldn't happen on the Lucitor's watch. Judas laughing and feeling his arm, "They uh well...may if gave me a few shots...and uh...my arm may of reacted a little...swatting at the needles and uh...everyone in the room for a bit". That's when sky noticed the floor looked like it had just been cleaned and the counters nearby weren't as neat as they usually were.

"Oh, ouch, i'm really sorry to hear...".

"No sky, it's ok, they eventually got it to hold still enough and turns out...it actually did seem to put it to sleep...though i'm kinda drowsy...but at least they were finally able to get more dna on it...i mean none of this is new to me, they did stuff like this since i was made but...maybe this time we can get somewhere with it since things have changed since then...".

"Don't you wanna control it rather then cure it? Like how are the these tests supposed to help with that?".

"Well, yeah, i've been considering that maybe the best thing i can do is stop trying to remove something i can't and learn to take it over but well...knowing more about how it works is not a bad thing...might be able to really help me deal with it and everything...though i have to admit...it does scare me a little, it's years of trauma I'm attempting to battle. The tests are just here to well...discover new things about my body, might help me with future choices i make...whether i cure it or not".

"Well, it's noble you even want to do it...no one would blame you for just wanting it gone, but i think it's cool that you wanna like...conquer it of all things".

"I guess to some extent it feels like i'm trying to fix something i can't really fix...if i can't remove it...the next best thing i can do...is not let it take me over...if that's really what's going on...sky i just don't want to keep being afraid of myself anymore...even if you trust me not everyone does and i don't want to be scared of myself...or...have you be scared of me...so...maybe...maybe this can work".

"You really think it's possible?"

"It's worth a shot...i've never really tried before...i mean maybe a little when i desperately tried to will it away as a child but i was too scared at the time...so i'm not sure what'll happen this time...it could work really well or really fail and i wouldn't be surprised either way...i just...it's something i've been thinking about, so..." he rubbed at his arm, sighing.

"Judas...you shouldn't pressure yourself into-".

"I'm not...sky i just...i'm going to be king and...i don't want to be king...with this lingering over me...", he nearly almost cried but pulled himself together last minute, "I'm running out of time before i'm coronated...the sooner i do this the better...i can't wait for a cure...i know nora did what she could...and she can still help...but i have to try something else right now".

"Then maybe you shouldn't be king...".

The two turned to see Sunny, who had been patiently watching and listening to the conversation, her words making judas pause. Sunny must've realized she came off a little harsh when she said it, quick to explain herself before judas and sky said anything else. "I don't mean it in that way judas, i promise...sorry if that came out the wrong way or anything-".

"I can't not be king sunny", he mumbled.

"I don't mean never or anything, i just mean...maybe your parents should push back your date to be king...until you're ready and aren't having all these breakdowns and everything...sometimes you just have to admit you're not ready and have to wait until you are...and if you're so worried...i...i just think your health should come first...before being the next king of the underworld...it's enough pressure without issues...".

Judas seemed to be actually considering what she said, though he shook his head, "This coronation plan has already been set up, i'm not backing out on it if it can really finish all of this...I care more about solving this right now...saving the kingdom, ". Though sunny and sky seemed to both share a concerned look, maybe sunny had a point, though sky rarely heard of many royals who didn't take the crown at least at 18.

Though granted, some had taken it younger, so maybe allowing for some to take it older wasn't a bad idea. Judas could have some time for himself to sort out his problems and come into the position more prepared, he had barely even gotten to focus on the responsibilities of being king, the situation had taken up all his attention, did he really want to put someone like him on the throne like this?

But that didn't only depend on judas, but also his parents, their family, and most of the other kingdoms who had been ready to adjust to his rule. It was no simple task and they needed more time to really work it out, but now that sunny said it and brought it out there, sky couldn't help but put it in the back of her mind for later. Judas was her best friend, and if she needed to, she'd help anyway she could.

She didn't like seeing her best friend dealing with so much pain throughout all of this, she just needed to be there for him.

But for now, her presence seemed to be just enough, judas looking delighted again, even if he was going through a lot in his own mind. Galexia already back to drawing before handing judas one of her drawings, which caught him off guard. He was scared at first knowing what he knew about lexi and her seemingly strange abilities, but he was quickly soothed seeing a drawing him himself.

Happy.

His brothers and parents at his side, with his grandparents as well.

He didn't even know for sure if this were a normal drawing or a premonition , but it was still something rather nice of lexi to give him. She might not have been his sister, but she was a welcoming presence here all things considered. He sent her a soft smile and nodded, "Thanks lexi, this is very sweet of you...you really know how to draw...that's for sure".

He folded the drawing up and put it in his pocket, "I'll hang it in my room...when the castle is finally back together".

"It's nearly done?".

"Yeah i think so...it wasn't nearly as bad as what your castle has been through after all, just a lot of damaged rooms and hallways...but i think we're nearly back and ready...with uh...a few changed just in case that happens again". He didn't seem so sure about the ideas they had in mind, but if it prevented THAT from happening again, it was better then nothing.

"Well maybe it'll be way better then our system...".

"I mean, i'm not too confident...at this point i just assume nothing works on her, she's just too smart for us...well...maybe they are...luna thinks otherwise and i guess it's a real thing to consider", sunny blinking at them both curiously, and sky remembered she never updated sunny on what they spoke about with luna yet, having been distracted with their work.

"Luna thinks what?".

"Ehhh...long story...but she had a few theories that maybe we're being bamboozled by someone whose making things up as they go along? Not that we're sure or anything like that it's only a theory...but we did have her say that to us when we were there, we're honestly on the fence mostly about the whole idea but she just wonders if maybe we think this person is smarter then they are".

The demon girl responding with a bite to her lip and a tap on her chin, clearly thinking more about this idea herself.

"Anways...we're close to getting everything fixed...of course not that i'm sure how much we'll be staying there...but at the very least we'll have a castle that doesn't have holes in it anymore...which is better then before. It's in part thanks to your moms and my grandmother, having a larger demon help with construction makes the progress go a lot faster then it would without".

"You helped too", she pointed out.

"Eh...not as much...", he looked off to the side, though sky clearly was telling him with her eyes not to ignore his own efforts he put into all of this. He smiled but went back to his point,

"But i guess we'll be bunking for a good while before i'm allowed to sleep alone again, so i guess we have a lot of sleepovers ahead of us, whether we like it or not".

"Is it really a sleepover if your parents, my parents, other kingdoms, and even your grandparents are also staying in the same room? At that point it's not so much of a party and more like a one room hotel...", she could hear sunny giggling at that nearby as judas shrugged, "I mean, we got no choice, but your safe room is rather cozy...even if there isn't as much to do in there".

"Don't brag, not my fault my granny was so picky about things".

But she knew judas meant no real harm,if her moms had been given their way the room would probably have a large pool in there, but having a grandmother like queen moon meant dealing with a grandma who lectured everyone on proper queen ways and the best use of their resources and time. Naturally, games and toys aren't really as important and others things in a safe house, at least according to her.

Though sky would argue boredom and preventing it was a major need that of course needed fixing in a place like a safe room.

"Not your fault sky, at least we have each other in there, how's the plan coming along by the way?", he glanced to his half sister nearby and sunny looked like she had just been WAITING to go on about their ideas for this mission. Though they'd have to cut it short, hearing noises nearby, and for now they couldn't tell whether the person speaking was even friend or foe.

Then quickly enough, the voices dropped and judas's ears twitched.

"It might be my parents, they'd around talking with the specialist who checked me over", he listened out to see if they were coming in, but it seems they had merely passed by the room instead, allowing everyone to relax. "Alright i think we're ok, sorry, sometimes i get caught up talking i forget there's still a ton of people around, we should really talk more quietly just in case", his voice getting a bit softer in response.

"It's ok, we can talk later...i'm just happy to see you", and sky felt judas tug her into a hug, making sure not to hold her too tightly, sky snuggling into his chest as she wrapped her arms around her best friend. They had only been separated for a short time and she still felt overdue for a hug right now, even judas felt pretty happy to have a hug to ease some tension, kissing his friends forehead affectionately as they parted.

"I needed that".

"I could tell", she crossed her arms, smirking.

"I really just...appreciate your support sky, i might not say that enough, but i'm really glad to have you by my side...throughout all of my issues these last few months and everything, i know i might be acting a little crazy sometimes and changing my mind all the time and not keeping myself focused and being tired...and you get it, but you still stuck around with me through it...and it means a lot", the princess patting his shoulder playfully.

"Dude, look at what you put up with by being MY friend?! I nearly blasted my mom in the face and got send to frozen prison, seems like you can't catch a break by being my best friend, of course i'm sticking with you throughout all of this...we said we'd be best friends no matter what went down in the future, we're ride or die for each other...and that ain't ending for any reason".

"What about if i killed someone?".

"I'd probably help you hide a body to be honest...hey at least we'd end up in prison together", she stuck her tongue out at him and sunny giggled nearby.

"You guys are cute".

They both stuck their tongues out at her.

Sunny only stuck her tongue out back, "The sweetest best friends i've ever met, don't try to hide it". Sky just rolled her eyes, hearing jude's parents coming back down the hall, but this time it seemed they were actually heading into the room itself, the doorknob turning and everyone getting into position, he king and queen of the underworld heading in so fast they nearly didn't notice the other guests.

They did, however, notice the food right away.

"You know a doctor's room is really not a good place to be leaving crumbs everywhere...right?".

"Oh um...sorry mom", judas quickly covered his mouth and tried to clean up the mess around him as the girls moved the treats aside for later, tom and marco greeting the girls with a wave, "guess that explains the additional guards outside...though maybe you girls could've given us a bit more of a heads up, you could've walked in on important shots or something".

"Sorry about that!", sunny was quick to apologize, lighting up at seeing the adults. They were quick to forgive though, honestly if one of them had been in a similar position the other probably would've done something very close. Both parents walking over to their oldest child to give him news of the tests, judas shaking a little in his seat as if expecting to be told something horrible.

Though their faces were trying to be more reassuring.

It had been a long while since they had really tested it to the extent they were doing, so what may come of it could go in many directions, it had time to grow and change with jude's body, it could be so many things at this point that his parents weren't sure how to tell him. Judas's mind had been running through every possibility they could give him, even ones where nothing had changed.

Whatever it was, he needed to trust them on it and keep himself together, it couldn't get really any worse...hopefully.

His parents seemed to be reassuring each other with looks as they looked for the best words they could say to explain whatever it was they needed to say to their eldest son.

"Alright jude...so we knew going in there was no guarantee these tests would change much, we've done this kinda thing before to get more info on a cure and it never worked...but with your arm acting more funny then before we felt better taking you in to get it more looked at then doing nothing just to be safe...and we'll break the news...we still haven't found much about a cure...", marco was trying to be ggentle, as if expecting this news to hurt the teenager but judas didn't react much at all, it wasn't that shocking to him.

"But what's the catch?".

The adults looks to each other, a little surprised at jude's reaction.

"Well..um...the catch is...there might be an answer as to why your arm reacted how it did...to the magic flowing through it so much...". Tom eyeing his partner as marco put their hands together, "So you see...the monster arm spell...is kinda a dark magic spell...i got infected with it when star somehow thought it would fix my broken arm...and as tom has told you...the spell that still lingered in my dna latched on to you...though it did transform".

The demon nodded.

"Point being, you may of... whether intentional or not...purged the dark magic cells in your arm...from the curse...and that clearly really hurt your arm...burning your arm and purging out the dark cells...even if it did take a bit of time to fully do so...even now, it's apparently still doing it", judas rotated his arm, of course he couldn't see what was happening but he had felt it for sure.

"Guessing it didn't take it well?".

"It?".

"My arm was supposed to be alive...remember? Everyone thought it would take over my body and kill us all? With how it kept swelling up i guess it really didn't like being purged from dark magic how it was ", but his parents had more to say, marco especially, rubbing their neck nervously. "Judas...so...with this test...we uh...about the arm situation...".

"hmm what's going on here that you guys are acting so funny about?".

"What your mom wants to say is...if that your arm was never alive...really".

Judas's face twisted to confusion, as if not understanding what his parents just said at all, looking between the two of them with all three of his bright red eyes.

"What are you talking about?".

"It's just been you".

Judas still seemed utterly confused, searching his parent's faces for answers as they both attempted to try and explain. "Judas...what we're trying to tell you...is we always thought this curse...was exactly like your mom's...but after these tests we were told there's actually no trace of another lifeform outside of yourself...yeah it was filled with dark magic...but no other lifeform was in your arm".

"Judas...", marco started, "It appears...through the years of having your arm the arm never showed up upon it's own will...but more that perhaps you triggered it through emotional response...whether intentional or not." Though it didn't seem like judas was fully taking it all in, at the very least he wasn't having a strong negative reaction either to this news.

He seemed...unsure what to respond with, which was expected.

He spent 17 years with this idea his arm was a bloodthirsty killed out to destroy him and everyone around him, how was he really supposed to process this information and take it like normal? Was he even supposed to believe this anymore? This wasn't a thing the last time he got tested! How could he trust this kinda word, for all he knew his parents were lying to him to make him relax.

Everyone in the room seemed to notice judas was struggling in his mind a little, all rushing to help him.

But instead he stood up, "I need a minute".

And he didn't even wait for a response before leaving the room, everyone standing dead silent as he shut the door behind him.

Sky quickly turning to the Lucitors with mixed emotions, "Wait...is that true? Is his arm really-?".

The two nodded, "We were so anxious for years because we never fully understood much about what happened when the curse was transferred but...if there's really no trace of another living being inside of his arm, then that means judas can be the only culprit as to it moving how it did...and well...we still don't fully understand how it all works but...it seems like the most likely candidate is judas was somehow doing it".

"He once reached out to grab me with it".

They all glanced to sunny.

"I ran away, he tried to stop me and it turned into that thing to grab me, it obeyed him completely...reacted to how he was acting. I never questioned it really beforehand in the moment considering i kinda maybe reacted by stabbing judas...but um...i guess when you really think about it...that was kinda a little strange. It seemed in the moment judas had control over it".

"But shouldn't it happen more often then?", sky mumbled, "i mean, if it reacts to stress and stuff if should happen often enough for us to tell...right?".

"Maybe, we need a little more information on it...but what we do know is there isn't any monster hiding in his dna, that's the best thing we can tell you from this whole thing".

Sky turned to where judas left, "We should follow him, before he...gets hurt...". Not to say judas would do anything stupid but the way he had stomped out like that had sky very worried for him, this clearly had really gotten to him, it was one of those things that had flipped over his entire life that he had known up to this point. There must have been a lot of thoughts swarming in his mind, he couldn't catch a break.

"Wait...maybe we outta give him space", marco held out their hand, preventing sky from following the young demon, gazing off at the door themsleves with a sigh. "You care a lot about our son and it means a lot to us he has you for a great best friend...but this is his own fight, he might need some time to really think about it...if he needs to talk...we should be the ones to do it...as well...we're more responsible for it".

Sky couldn't argue with that logic, even if she wanted to.

"You know a lot about curses?", sunny asked suddenly, getting their attention quickly with her innocent voice. The adults sadly only replying with a shrug and nervous expression, "I mean outside of the arm...well of course there's the blood moon curse...but those two curses are very different from each other and we don't know much outside of that".

"What about the blood moon curse?".

The adults looked to each other and back to sunny before sky butted in, "Uh...sunny? I'm sorry but that's kinda off topic...why do you want to know about any of that? That whole thing is long gone in the past...". Sunny bit at her lips, her fangs pricking out as she thought about what she wanted to ask a bit more, "Nothing important...just um...i had questions about it and magic and stuff...

Tom leaned down and got onto her eye level, putting a hand on her shoulder in reassurance.

"We'll talk later if you want about that, in private...sound good? After we get out of the hospital wing?".

Sunny nodded, thankful, even if sky was left in curiosity.

"Let's get cleaned up, save these treats for judas...we can put them in the safe room for him later when he's hungry", marco quickly started grabbed snacks, encouraging help from lexi, who was collecting her doodles, "Boy...you really do draw a lot don't you?". Lexi didn't respond much outside of a thumbs up, grabbing a plate of snacks to head out on, everyone heading out.

"Hey...uh...Mr Lucitor?".

Tom turned around to sky, who was right behind him as the others went forward, stopping in his tracks.

"If judas has really been in control this entire time, we're not actually in danger from his arm...are we?".

He seemed to pause a moment, his eyes turning to the side, "Well...theoretically no, judas would never want to hurt any of us...but on the other hand that's not to say the arm couldn't hurt any of us if judas either didn't know what he was doing or his body was under someone else's control...it's still something we should be very wary about...but the nice thing we can say is the demon that once lived inside marco's arm is gone".

"Yeah i guess that's good...though yeah i know as much as anyone about being not in control of your magic and nearly hurting someone...and with everything jude is going through...i mean i trust him but at the same time...i'm just...worried", the king patted her head gently and moved her forward to follow the others. "Yeah, i understand...maybe just in case keep that zapper for his arm...better safe then sorry.".

"I'd hate to zap jude if he's just...himself though, it was easier to imagine he was under control and i was zapping something possessing him...but if it's just him...then i'm hurting him...", she felt the zapper and it's button inside her pocket, she always somehow seemed to remember it, at least as much as she could. But what originally felt like judas trusting her to save him now felt much more uncomfortable.

Even tom seemed to understand her concerns, truthfully not sure what the best advice he could give her would be. Most teenagers didn't usually have to go through a dilemma like this, then again most teenagers didn't have to go through any of the wild stuff that they were dealing with in the first place. The best he could do was try and comfort her, "Hey...my advice? If judas were to ever almost hurt you...i'd think he'd be ok with you protecting yourself and us...much rather that then him actually landing a tentacle on you".

"Even if i feel bad about it?".

"You gotta make hard choices to protect your friends, i know that feeling...but i trust you'll make the best choice if it ever comes to that, and i trust judas to try and avoid it ever coming to that if possible...and if we have to, we'll make sure to come in and help ourselves...we won't let anything bad happen to all of you...we'll figure out all of this...it's just as freaky to us as well", he ran his fingers through his pink hair, "To think after all that...the arm...was just judas...".

"Does...it make you feel better or worse considering-", she hated to ask, but she had to know.

"Well...i...i think it makes me feel a little better...though it is still my fault this happened at all...i just wish i'd known sooner to avoid the years of fear we had". though it wasn't just that, had they known sooner, maybe judas wouldn't be how he was these days. They could've saved him before he had to deal with years of trauma and fear, and tom didn't even need to say it for sky to know he was thinking about it.

"Hey uh...sunny brought this up earlier...but...maybe judas needs more time...before he should be on the throne", she hadn't planned to bring this up right away but with his father next to her, worried about his son it just sorta came out. The demon king glancing at her and not saying much in return, "I know it's tradition and everything but...she has a point, i don't wanna watch judas suffer on the throne with this either...".

"I'll talk about it with my parents and marco...thanks for the suggestion, i'll thank sunny later...", it still depended on if judas wanted it, but at least his parents could consider the idea of it. They headed on their way to catch up with the others before tom and sunny branched off to talk, leaving sky with marco and galexia, who ushered them to come with.

"We'll drop these snacks off and since you girls are here i want your help, the more hands the merrier, plus i prefer at least one of us keeps an eye on you as much as possible.".

"Wait...with what?".

"Angel's father is arriving tonight...with everything happening i could use the help to welcome him in and make him feel comfortable, star would've been in charge but she's dealing with her mom instead and janna sure isn't doing it, in fact i think she's currently dealing with fae actually...even though fae was returned to her family she kinda keeps coming in for further questions and help and well uh...janna and mason were the only ones brave enough to deal with her right now...janna seems to find the fact she seems cursed to be rather cool, because of course she does.".

"Wait...mason? What's that about? I though mason already interrogated her? I'm not sure how much he could get out of her at this point, it's not like she spent a whole lot of time with the person or anything... ".

"Well it's not exactly that, it's more...fae is going to be the one actually doing the asking...long story, it's janna suggested having her there might actually be helpful...she has knowledge on rumors spread by the kingdoms and well...actually it might just be because the other stable servants just wanted her to do a job away from them".

"Hold up a minute...fae is going to interrogate someone? She's like...i dunno...twelve or something?".

"We were against it for the same reason, but apparently jackie is going with them too so it made me and tom feel a little better about mason handling it, they're actually not doing a regular interrogation, this time they're trying something new...basically going through the evidence we found and having fae there because apparently they think just her presence might scare the guy into talking...".

Who? Like you obviously didn't capture the real masked person so...", sky suddenly felt extremely clueless to what the queen was talking about, who got arrested recently?

"The guy who was letting masky keep a child and a evil lair under his bar...that's who, they took him into custody...he didn't really get very far, something about him running right into a giant plant who likes stuffed animals...", sky's expression was enough to tell him that no one had really been talking about that capture in comparison to the luna one. "Eclipsa wanted to go but she and globgor need to deal with angel's kingdom, so they decided if janna herself wasn't scary enough...well...fae seems to have an off knack for things falling off the ceiling when she's in a room".

"Wait...why's mason there?".

"Fae asked for him, it seems they're actually friends, and she wouldn't help unless he was there.".

"You guys brought in a CHILD to interrogate a criminal?", marco snickering to themselves at the way she asked that, "Well, we were against it obviously...but having her there was better then not, she does have some additional knowledge after all...that and...i'm worried if i said no in her presence we might have an...unfortunate accident...after mason told me about her bad luck...i'll admit...she makes me nervous...and well...i also might not have wanted her left in a room alone...our castle is damaged enough as is".

"Well...actually if you put her in a room with anyone there tends to be the lingering worry the room might collapse so maybe you have a point.", the idea her mom would take a child to use as a threatening weapon actually sounded really in character for her somehow. At least then maybe they might get a reaction from the guy if janna wasn't enough, though she usually was.

"Me and Tom are not exactly happy about having you involved in this danger but at the same time we know we need your help if we're going to get anywhere...and thankfully with jackie there that guy won't be getting into any funny business, she tends to always be armed...it's actually rather scary when you think about it, but more for him then it is us".

"Well, thanks for trusting us...even if it's a little...it means a lot to us".

"Don't think this means we want you fighting anything dangerous directly, fae is only allowed to help because she has info that is helpful to us...we would neve have allowed her to help otherwise...but having a citizen give us info from a citizen point of view is just kinda helpful...can't get much as that as a ruler...not unless the servants gossip like crazy".

"Well for our sakes, let's hope the guy spills everything in a few minutes...any longer with fae and he might combust".

Marco laughed but somehow they didn't actually doubt that and it slowly became a more concerned and nervous chuckle.

"Anyways...they're taking care of that...we just have to focus on the king's arrival...angel's still in the safe room to my knowledge so we'll get him when we drop these off, though he seems to be a bit uneasy so be careful around him". Guess with his dad coming to visit he was going to be sick in the stomach for awhile, like how he had been when he was about to be on trial.

His father being forced to deal with the kingdom after him, their prince, started working with an enemy to mewni, made him scared...he was disappointed in him and he knew it.

He was going to be forced to talk to him about what had happened directly and everything going on and that was something hard to be fully prepared for, no matter how much he was expecting it. Sure, he could bring good news in terms of his mother but even he was worried about what his mom would say about everything he had done since she had been sick.

So yeah, he was in quite a mood when they arrived passed the guards, angel was by himself, not interacting with any of the others, in fact he seemed to be talking to himself. Judas or sky was usually there to reassure him or calm him down but with the both of them having been out for most of the day he had been left to his own person. Sky noticing nora was also out, otherwise she would've expected her to be here with him.

She didn't hesitate to approach him after the others sat down the snacks, angel actually startled as she approached, as if he hadn't seen her even enter the room because of how distracted he had been. Though he was relieved, probably expecting someone way worse to have come for him, the monster prince trying to pull himself together and make himself look less of a mess.

"Hey...how you doing?".

She probably knew the answer to that already but she still felt she should ask.

Angel sweating in his seat as he tried to pull his hair back into a ponytail, having a hard time making eye contact with sky, "My dad's coming...he can't see me like this, i'm a mess...i never used to look like a mess...what if he sees me like this and thinks i've gone off the deep end or i'm no longer much of a prince?! Sky i don't know if i can do this...things went so bad last time i saw him...".

"You didn't get much of a goodbye after the trial...did you?".

He shook his head.

"I didn't want to show my face to him and he left without a word to me...probably for similar reasons...i haven't seen him since then, he just...let me here...in the care of your families...i'm terrified of what he might think of what the other arachs have been telling him...they all already hated me and i can't think anything got better after you saved me...i...he'll probably tell me i'm dethroned...".

"You don't know that, your dad seems mostly nice...i mean he's never been THAT bad".

"Maybe not...but i'm not taking any chances...i probably deserve it though...he's had enough time to really consider it as an option, even after what happened at the trial...plus no one wants me as king back there anyway".

"Angel, c'mon, that's not true, we've talked about this...you want to be king and you can do it too! Who cares what your dad thinks!".

"I care!", he said that a little too aggressive then he had been intending, suddenly sheepish.

"Sorry sky...didn't mean to lash out at you...it's just...being king means nothing if the current king doesn't think i should...even if i really want it, he does have the power to transfer the crown if he wants to...even if it's to the farther out cousin i have somewhere...i wasn't a good prince...even if i want to do things right now...that doesn't change much if they say no".

Sky couldn't argue that no matter how much she wanted to, angel was the rightful heir but that didn't stop plenty of other kingdoms from giving the crown to more distant relatives before. Gee, now she was thinking about what meteora said before when she had trashed on the guy, she, judas, and him seemed to be favorites to hate in mewni for reasons...some much more fair then others but still.

"Well...maybe your dad will be happy to see you...a lot has changed since then after all right?

You can't be completely sure of how he feels, since you've been helping us out maybe he understands you have really learned and want to do better...i mean, you screwed me over a lot...but i'm a but better about it then i was at the time."

"I want to think that...but after what i did...i keep doubting myself sky...i don't know why i'm like this...i just can't be as positive as you and judas...even though i want to...I...", he thought back to the advice nora gave him, taking a breath and trying to remember what he did was all in the past, and there was nothing he could do about it now but work to do better.

"You really think my dad will forgive me? He's not like you, he's been away from me all this time...I'm scare to face him.".

"I mean if he doesn't forgive you i'm sure eclipsa will have no trouble signing adoption papers for you", she was joking to lighten the mood but in actuality that was a likely outcome if things were really to get worse. Angel standing up and streching his legs, "Hey...can you at least help me get ready to meet him?...i think i looks like a mess...i don't want to look like one when i see him...and your way better with clothes then i am".

"Well...how do you wanna dress? More princely? Or more like..."

She motioned to his borrowed clothes from judas, because judas was taller then them his clothes, while looking nice on the prince, were a bit more oversized. It wasn't the most ideal prince look.

"Why ask...you know what the better option is?".

"Just saying angel, maybe you outta see your dad as yourself...not trying to be something your not, better way to judge you then to pretend to be perfect after everything...i mean if formal is what you feel like wearing i ain't stopping you but i'm just saying you should dress as who you are now and not what your dad wants you to be". Angel shuffled in his place before taking out the hairband, his hair free again, "We can figure it out while you show me some options...if that's ok?", she nodded and followed him back to the group, marco happy to see him.

"Angel! Hey, i hope you're doing ok...if you need anything just ask us...we'll be happy to help you in any way we can...but just always stick with one of us, for your safety and ours...at this point we have a buddy system, as well as way too many guards...but it's better then you or any of us getting in any sort of danger...so just stick by and find help if you need it".

"Don't worry, i don't plan to leave anyone's side...not yours, sky's...anyone's...if i can help it...at this point i get anxious from being alone...", that was when sky awkwardly held out her hand, "Look, don't take this the wrong way, but if you need to hold me to feel comfortable...judas tends to do it with me when he really needs it so...just in case you might have some kinda panic attack about the masked guy or whatever".

Angel's small grin was very appreciative.

"Thank you, i'll keep that in mind...".

"You ready?", marco started waving to everyone still inside the room as they made their way towards the door, the kids following suit, lexi trotting along in the back. She looked happy to have angel with them as well, patting him on the back as if welcoming him. Galexia did have a way of making people feel rather welcome around her, whether she knew them or not.

"Were we headed first?".

"Marco looked back at the others, leading the way.

"The kitchens...we have a lot to do, he's going to be having dinner with us tonight...with former queen moon, the sooner we prepare for tonight, the better".-

Landon felt he was starting to get somewhere, if even it was just a little.

At the very least his marks were slightly more consistent then they were before, which was an improvement to an extent. He'd been training for hours, barely leaving the room. It was nice to get away from the others, for now this was mostly private and something he wanted to keep mostly private until he figured out his best course of action. Maybe after figuring out how to activate his marks he could then really work on magic with some help.

He'd considered looking at sky's spellbook but no way would he ever get permission to be in her room without asking her first, and she'd be suspicious of his actions for sure.

She had already been before, she'd probably assume he wanted to look into some of the darker magic.

But he also couldn't claim she wasn't completely wrong about that last bit, he did feel a bit curious about some more of the magic of the butterflies. It was forbidden for most people to see it unless a butterfly showed them so even getting a chance to see what was inside would be interesting, landon was a special case after all, he wasn't even a butterfly.

He should be allowed more permission then anyone out there, otherwise this was a missed opportunity.

Not many queens could ever claim to something like being able to train those who weren't apart of the butterfly family with their magic, though at the same time the queens ,were so picky with who got to use it maybe at the time it wasn't even considered an option.

Regardless that wasn't the point, the point was landon had powers, and if he wasn't trained to use them now he might never get to.

He was the forgotten brother after all.So forgive him if he had his doubts that anyone would train him in magic after things may of gotten slightly better. He hadn't exactly had a lot of attention like his own brothers had had, there was no reason to him this would make a huge difference. But if everyone was distracted, it only meant more time for him to learn more alone, not judged, not controlled.

So maybe there was benefit to being ignored.

He wasn't going to be a powerful magic user anytime soon, but this was bringing him some confidence he never had before without either bernard, or his mom cheering him on. He never thought his music was capable of magic before, it was like making his own spell, even if he hadn't been doing it on purpose. If he could figure it out just a little more maybe he could make something happen.

Hopefully a good something.

He was taking notes, testing what worked and what didn't, it was like a strange musical puzzle. Maybe if he knew more about magic he could figure this out a lot easier, but his wand was catered to him right? So it should paly by his rules, his music rules. On the other hand, he wasn't using his wand, he was using a normal violin, having a wand would make this process so much faster.

He might as well have been trying to dip down.

No queen had been able to do this without some practice, so yeah, no wonder he was making little progress.

He put down his instrument, sighing, maybe he really would have to approach celeste for help, cause boy he wasn't going to be using sky's wand in it's condition, and he doubted sunny would just hand it to him. Granted, maybe if he tried to convince lexi he might have better chances if she didn't think about it too hard, otherwise he might not finish any spell till sky was queen.

But that was enough progress for today, he outta take a break and eat something before everyone did start wondering where he was and found him trying to do magic, he didn't want to have to make up a fake excuse so he didn't look suspicious. Everyone was already on edge enough, they might assume he was mind-controlled or something if he started acting weird around here.

Violin strapped to his back, he started heading his way out of the guarded room.

Mason promised to meet him later, something about a hangout with fae he had to do first?

Either way if he was going to finally talk to his crush he was going to need help, he'd tried doing it by himself and he chickened out, so maybe it was about time he had a bit of help...even if it was from his younger brother of all people. It was a strange priority to have right now of course, but if he didn't do it now, he might not get to again.

He was being tailed of course, by guards who needed to watch him, which made him only more anxious, but he found them easier to ignore when his mind was more distracted with other thoughts. He was thankful he had been allowed to practice in private at all, he half expected them to sit and watch him, which would not have worked with his magic practice at all.

Until mason came to help he already knew what he wanted to do first.

Talk to celeste.

Celeste was still not in the greatest of moods, but when was she ever in a good mood in the first place? Seeing luna again seemed to have made her grumpier then she was before and that was saying something, she went right to bed and never spoke once in the morning, she clearly had wanted to be left alone to deal with her feelings towards luna after how rude she had been to everyone.

Yeah, celeste herself hadn't been the peak of niceness, but luna was...oof.

How she made everyone feel, how she hurt everyone, how she treated everyone who had been helping her. Something about her really seemed to annoy celeste, and in ways that didn't seem to suit to anyone else. It didn't start that way, luna came to her first for help when they wanted to go home more desperately, seeing her as an ally, but it seemed anyone who worked with luna for more then a few minutes were quick to get annoyed.

Landon could relate.

But he had to check on her, he'd feel like an awful technical brother if he didn't.

Once he had made it to the safe room he saw her on a nearby couch, she wasn't even doing anything, no reading, no music, nothing, instead she just seemed to be thinking to herself.

Everyone who really did talk to her wasn't here, leaving her all by her lonesome, and landon's shoulders sunk as he knew this feeling more then he wanted to remember.

He approached her, a small wave as he tried to her her attention.

"Hola".

She glanced up at him, speaking a small bit of spanish in return.

"Hola...".

Was it just him or did she seem to be...sad actually? Like she was in some sort of a slump? She was moody often but right now she seemed more...sad...less mad...and just odd for celeste overall. She seemed to mostly be huddled up on the couch, lost in thought as she looked landon over, noticing he had his violin on him, "Hey...i didn't say it before but...nice job on the spell".

A compliment?

"Thanks cele...i know me using your wand sorta felt...mixed for you...but thanks for letting me use it, really".

"Don't mention it, though don't assume i'm going to let you have it again right now...cause i'm not, i just...y'know...it's a hard spell for anyone to do...", she turned her head away, landon taking a seat next to her, "Hey uh...maybe this sounds like a bad idea, like a really bad idea, but maybe the two of us should see if we can head out and pay luna a visit or something...".His words quickly earned him a confused scowl from the girl, though he had been expecting it.

"What?".

She said it with a tone that felt rather nasty and that quickly got landon to change the way he talked about this idea, he didn't want to make a scene and get celeste more upset. She was clearly upset enough as is, and of course so was he, but he had at least kept himself distracted enough to not fall into a slump about it. Celeste in this state was someone to be cautious about.

"I'm thinking well...maybe we need some closure...with luna...you and me seem to be...torn up about her and mad with her and everyone can tell we both dislike her in particular...so i dunno...maybe we should talk to her...or something, maybe help us feel better...so we might work better with the others...so we can move on from all of this...y'know?", he didn't like the idea any better then she did but the idea might work.

Angel and Sky became friends despite not liking each other like this.

So did his own parents.

It had to have crossed his mind, and it was what his mom would suggest them doing if he had asked. If he was going to confront his crush, confronting luna was at least a good way to help landon progress with confronting his problems rather then letting them weltch up inside of him for long periods of time before bursting randomly in a fit of rage.

Granted, this was luna, so it might not even work, but maybe it would be better then them both being bitter as they were all the time about her. At the very least they might have an ending to all of this mess and be able to move on without falling into anger the moment the blonde was even so much as mentioned by anyone. "Hey...you don't have to if you don't want to...i was just making a suggestion if you were interested", he tapped his foot on the floor, shrugging.

She didn't respond.

"I just wanted to check on you ok? So sorry if i'm bothering you...i just wanted to make sure you were ok...i get it if you want me to leave".

"No.".

He paused, standing in place, worried if he had said something wrong as celeste seemed to cool down some more, though she wasn't looking at him. "Thanks for...checking up on me, i'd thought you were too busy to really care...but...it's nice, i've...i've been kinda alone all day...the others have been out mostly so...i haven't had anyone to talk to.".

"It's not a big deal, we're friends...kinda...right?".

Her brows furrowed, and landon could tell she wanted to say "Yes", but wanted to avoid the cheesyness of having to admit to it. Instead he rubbed his boots into the carpet, sighing, "Well, i'm glad we're friends...even if it's kinda complicated...and um...thanks for the compliment, it really does kinda mean a lot to me". She still didn't look at him, her eyes elsewhere as he took a step back, "Well, if you aren't coming i still want to go, it's important to me, if you want you can wait for me here and we can hang out for a bit after i'm done since i'm waiting for mason-".

"Wait.".

He turned to look at her, the girl getting up and off the couch, "Let's go talk to her...i have some things i actually would like to say to her...", she glared at nothing in particular, fists clenched. Landon suddenly wishing he hadn't said anything at all, as he might of just accidentally set up a fight between two sisters instead of actually making things better.

"What exactly do you want to tell her ? Not assuming anything celeste, it's just-".

She turned to look at him, still stern, and not looking to waste any more time, "Let's go, before someone else gets there before we do".

[crystal-moon-101]

My redesigns for this popular trio!

The Secret Generator 10 (Or Celebrity Trio but that doesn’t really work for me because of Zak...) I’ve been meaning to get around to doing this, since I am really fond of these three boys. With Zak and Rex both being part of my top two shows of all time. Sorry Ben....

-Zak Saturday-

He was the most fun working with. His warm colour palette isn’t something I work with often, but I think I did alright. He also as some small details you might notice, like the fangs, eyes and scales.

Notes:

14 Years Old

5′5 (Will only grow to be 5′8. Which confuses him since both sides of his family have very tall genes. Ulraj pokes fun at him, saying all that height is going towards his ‘Kur Form’)

Dead on the inside.

Aggressively Pansexual

His human side has been growing reptilian features. Noticeable fangs, scales growing around his lower neck, around his chest and upper back/shoulders, pure orange eyes with pupils that can become thin slits and a slight forked tongue. 

Even also displays some reptile behaviour. E.g, soaking up sunlight on a rock, alert nature, able to stand still as a statue. (He’s done these things since he was young. His parents just thought it was something he picked up from Komodo.)

The light that forms around his eyes when using his powers have darkened the skin around his eyes. (Suggested by my friend)

He is oddly thin and lanky, but it’s often hard to see because of the baggy clothes he wears.

That being said, he’s a lot stronger than you think he is. Can easily lift people twice his size.

Constantly has to get new hair ties. They keep breaking because 1. Every time his powers cause all of his hair to flow, the tie snaps. 2. Working out in the wild, it keeps getting snagged by tree branches or slipping off when he tumbles downhills.

While quiet and casual outside of battles, he will become a lot like his mother on the field.

Has freckles from his maternal side. His mother doesn’t have them, but Doyle does.

Will casually mention his ridiculously and scary adventures like they’re nothing, not because he’s bragging, but because he truly doesn’t understand what normal really is.

So use to being grabbed by the scruff of his shirt that he will always go limp when you grab him like that, much like a baby animal. 

While he can act very eerie and strange, he’s a very sweet and understanding guy. 

That being said, he can be hella scary when he wants to be.

Don’t mess with his family or he will send an army of Grootslangs to your house.

Still trying to figure out his placement in life and what Kur was really meant to be.

After being taught by his family and uncle, he went to Tsul 'Kalu to be his new mentor.

-Rex Salazar-

I think I changed him the least, but I added extra details and made his shirt, pants and shoes into a one-piece suit. It always baffles me how he can pull off this colour scheme so well.

And while I didn’t draw it here. I would definitely make his pure EVO form a lot smaller. Make him come across more like a monstrous zombie robot thing. The reason why is because those EVO forms he had just felt like they belonged to different shows, like transformers. A more creature design would fit better, I feel.

Notes:

16 Years Old

6′1 (Will grow to be 6′5. Yeeeeeee, he’s a big guy.)

Lady killer~

Best wingman and even offers pretend dates to help you.

Can always hear and feel the technology around him. Strange to everyone else, but he’s learnt to live with it. Even comes in handy when trying to find a good wifi connection.

Knows when to cut the bullcrap.

He does have a bit of a science brain, but he uses it differently than his family had.

Constantly jumping between worlds. Sometimes even tossed by someone.

Talks in his sleep, mostly reciting nanite binary coding.

Lonely lad and child solider, great mix, right?...

Goes all out with holidays. He once, somehow, got real snow in Providence. No one knows how to this day.

Hates lightening.

Has nearly called Holiday and Six mum and dad multiple times.

Has a lot more abilities he has yet to discover. (Including turning people EVO.)

Never asked for any of this, but, eh, what ya gonna do

Is always overexcited when doing normal things. (Werids out Noah a lottt.)

You’re endangered if he decided to use his full raw power. (Key signs to look out for is a large amount of circuit patterns covering him, glowing eyes, tips of his hair glowing too, sharp metal growths and technology around you flashing like crazy.)

Loves Imagine Dragon.

Sharp eyelashes.

Just wants hugs, give him hugs!

Always frustrated when someone from his past tries talking to him about the past. Sometimes he wonders if people forget.

Skilled drawer and smooth singer.

Has an EVO pet (Her name is Siri, Btw)

Some have compared him to being a living, breathing nanite. 

Eager to have family game nights! “Poker doesn’t count, Bobo...”

Once had a malfunction, his whole body was out of wack. (Noah laughs about it and even has some recordings, much to Rex’s dismay.)

Has a civilian outfit that Noah put together. (He refuses to take off his goggles, however.) 

-Ben Tennyson-

Now, I already made a redesign for him, along with Gwen, Julie and Kevin (Both for teen and kid versions). I used the same look, just adjusted some details and colours.

Notes:

15 Years Old

5′9 (And he stays that height. He peaked in height very young, but stop growing quickly. This does annoy him.)

Dumbass with bad impulse control.

Even he’s confused by how he keeps attracting women.

Had a rather lonely childhood with many bullies. (It’s why he often seeks attention, he’s afraid of being alone and forgotten again.)

It’s also what made him jealous of Gwen when they were young. Most treated her like the better of the two.

Pretty crap at sharing his feelings. He would rather play it off as a jerk, then go and drown himself in smoothies...

A secret momma’s boy. “Benny Bear” As his mother likes to call him.

Has an interesting dynamic with Azmuth. Despite their arguments, they balance each other well. Others have even seen them taking care of each other (Almost like father and son), but the pair will always deny this and say it’s ‘strictly’ professional.

 Surprisingly great with kids. (This was truly noticed when seen around his 14 baby chills.)

In the future, he will have a nasty wound on the battlefield, which will result in the Omnitrix becoming his new arm and merging with him.

When he takes thing seriously, you know shits going down!

Has a german shepherd name Boston.

 Likes to call Vilgax ‘Calamari’.

Has grown to be close to most Tennyson members. (E.G Camille, who was actually his babysitter after she joined the family.)

He doesn’t like peacocks after...an incident at the zoo. His mother still apologizes to this day.

Decent singer and very skilled at the guitar. 

Has picked up combat moves from Tetrax.

Has always felt like he’s nothing without the watch. Others have said otherwise.

He knows how to speak certain alien languages, Galvan being one of them.

His schedule is a nightmare, because something is always popping up that involves him. This means he sometimes forgets to eat, sleep or even wash. It’s why he’s often caught napping.

Sometimes wonders if he’s human or alien at this point, maybe something else entirely. 

Very soft poofy hair.

Is hated by almost all his villains. He just loves pissing them off.

[emachinescat]

Murdoc + Ithika + Mac

A MacGyver Fan-Fiction

by @emachinescat

@febuwhump day 14 - “I didn’t mean it”

Summary: As an artist, Murdoc prides himself in taking his time with his work - he never loses control.  Except one time, with his favorite boy genius.  He always imagined that when he finally made MacGyver cry, it would be his finest moment.  Now, he’s not so sure.

Characters: Murdoc, Mac, Jack

Words: 3,454

TW: torture, broken bones, Murdoc being his creepy little self

Note: Happy Valentine's Day – the store was all out of chocolate, so I got you Mac whump! ;) The allusions to Ithika are from Homer's epic by the same name, but even more so from the incredible poem by C.P. Cavafy. The muse mentioned, Melpomene, is the Muse of Tragedy.

Keep reading here, or on AO3!

If you enjoy, please consider liking, commenting, or re-blogging, and you can follow me for more content like this!

Ithika gave you the marvelous journey.

Without her you wouldn't have set out.

She has nothing left to give you now.

- From “Ithika” by C. P. Cavafy

Murdoc enjoyed taking his time.

He was an artist, after all, and artists didn’t slap together a masterpiece in an afternoon – not the ones worth anything, at least.  Most spent days studying their subjects, becoming intimately familiar with every line and curve and element – the shading, the lighting, the vibrancy of the colors.  The very best didn’t even consider touching brush to canvas until they had developed a personal relationship with their subject – for how can a true artist paint that which he does not know deeply?  Why bother recreating that landscape or tea kettle or sad-eyed little girl or bowl of fruit if it could be any landscape, tea kettle, little girl, or bowl of fruit?  Why would someone paint something that wasn’t theirs?

Murdoc knew his subject very well.  He, like a true artist, had studied it in a variety of settings.  He’d watched and learned, dug deep into the core of its being, drawn out every secret and motivation and loss and love.  He understood what made his subject tick.  He’d even done some brief sketches, practicing each brushstroke with care, waiting patiently for the day he could at last, intricately, evoke that muse sought by the Romantics, that evasive Melpomene, and breathe his masterpiece to life.  Or, more accurately, to death.

And now, after years of watching, interacting, teasing, sketching, his time had finally come.  Months of planning had been sunk into this particular endeavor.  And now, unlike the first time he’d been introduced to his subject, he hadn’t been commissioned by anyone.  This portrait was personal, deeply personal.  He finally had his subject right where he wanted it.  The canvas was bare and waiting for the artist’s touch.  Murdoc had chosen his palette, mixed the colors – it might be cliche, but he was a sucker for red, black, and blue.

Now that his moment had finally arrived, however, it didn’t mean that he could rush through the actual creation process.  The act of studying one’s subject matter was slow and deliberate.  So must be the painting.  

***

Murdoc studied his canvas slowly, methodically, unsurprised that it wasn’t exactly blank.  MacGyver stood, hands chained above his head, attached to a grate above.  His bare toes just reached the cold concrete below.  His jacket and Henley had been removed – he shivered slightly from the chill of the basement.  Murdoc liked to think it was from fear.  

“Oooh, this one’s fun, MacGyver!” Murdoc crooned as the blonde boy wonder eyed him scornfully.  It was quite entertaining how expressive his prey’s pretty blue eyes could be.  Murdoc briefly brushed the tip of his little finger against the scar of a bullet wound on MacGyver’s chest.  MacGyver jerked back from the touch, though his expression remained stoic.

“Jealous that you weren’t the one who did it, Murdoc?”  He sounded confident enough, but Murdoc knew his subject quite well by now.  MacGyver was shaken.  For once, he had no control, nothing to work with, no way to escape.  He was at his captor’s mercy – Murdoc could do whatever he wanted, and MacGyver knew that.

“Oh, it’s nothing compared with what I’ve got planned for you, Angus,” Murdoc simpered sweetly, circling his catch of the day, dark eyes darting across more scars and recent cuts and bruises.  He pressed directly into the dark center of a boot-tip bruise on MacGyver’s side, relishing the sharp intake of breath it elicited.  “Someone on your last mission in Volgograd left their mark, I see.”

He circled back around to face his victim, who did a subpar job of hiding his surprise at the observation.  “That was highly classified.  How did you–”

“I’ve been watching you for a very long time, MacGyver.  But you had to have known I would.  After all, you’re my closest friend, and I know where you live.  It’s kind of silly that you never moved, but maybe you just figured I’d find you even if you did.  I wonder – have you always tossed and turned in your sleep or is that a more recent development?”

True horror flashed momentarily in blue eyes, tugging Murdoc’s lips up into a satisfied smile.  “Oh, yes, your nightmares are very entertaining.  I do hope the majority of them are about me.  Oh, oh, oh!  And I especially love it when they’re so bad you have to call your watch dog to calm you down.  I wonder how Dalton’s taking your disappearance, by the way?  I’m sure he’s in for some nightmares of his own.”

“He’ll find me, if I don’t escape first.”  MacGyver’s bravado was both highly endearing and incredibly tiresome.  Same old, same old.

“Doubtful,” Murdoc purred.  “I mean, I know you well enough not to make stupid mistakes, my friend.”

“I escaped from the sewers, and you’d drugged me.”

“I intended for you to escape that day.  I needed to draw your friends in, to focus their attention on finding you while I attended to other business.  But this time – you’re mine.”  At the fervor in his words, a shudder entirely unrelated to cold clinked the chains restraining his victim.  Murdoc smiled, then continued.

“But now, there is no ulterior motive.  I grabbed you for no other reason than because I wanted to.  You are hidden away quite well, even more securely than last time, I’m afraid.  And you will not be left alone, not even for a second.  There may be things in this room you could use to escape, but they’re useless to you in your position.  And I am not going to take my eyes off of you.  You won’t have a chance to wriggle your way out of this one, MacGyver.  Ooooh, is that fear I see on your face?  No?  We really must change that.”  He tutted.  “Defiance and bravado really are your bread and butter, aren’t they, Angus?  What are you, an action hero from a cheesy 1980s TV show?”  Silence, though the fiery glare spoke more loudly than words.  

Murdoc clapped his hands together.  “Well, there’s no time like the present.  What do you say, MacGyver?  Let’s get started.”

***

Three hours later, Murdoc admired his work.  It was a slow process.  He painted with precision and care, layering the colors just so, balancing the strokes, the lights and darks and brights.  His brushes were many – laid out on the table before him were knives and pliers and blow torches and hammers and whips and cattle prods and other more specialized tools that he liked to work up to.  He also had an oversized meat tenderizer, made of steel.  He rarely used it – too garish for his refined tastes – but it did look nice and scary looming over the other instruments.

So far, he’d only used his knives and the cattle prod.  The masterpiece was starting to come together, but it was hardly complete.  He prowled around his artwork.  MacGyver’s trembling had increased.  He gasped for breath as Murdoc appraised his work – burns and cuts, some deeper than others – made a nice foundation.  The drip of blood across bare flesh outshone any Pollock painting.  He’d practiced his blending techniques, jabbing the cattle prod directly into the center of the lovely bruise he’d noticed earlier.  MacGyver hadn’t been able to hold in his yell of pain.  

Music.

“Are you enjoying our time together?” Murdoc asked.

MacGyver uttered a creative string of curse words that made Murdoc proud.  He whistled appreciatively.  “Who knew the boy scout had that in him?  I’m almost impressed.”

“Yeah, well,” MacGyver said, hissing as he shifted and pulled at his many wounds.  “Almost is about all you’ll ever be, Murdoc.”

Murdoc had been reaching for his trusty pair of pliers (those toenails could sure use a trim!).  He paused, his back partially to his captive, fingers hovering over the tool.  He was used to MacGyver’s sass, but what he’d just said hit a sour note that the hit man couldn’t shake.  He didn’t know if it was the tone or the words themselves.  “Excuse me?”  He tried to sound amused, but his voice was tight, as if it had been squeezed out of him.

A clink of the chains, a grunt of pain that didn’t lighten Murdoc’s mood as it should have.  Then, MacGyver elaborated.  His voice was clipped in pain, breathless, but conviction lined every syllable.  “You are doomed to live a life of almost, Murdoc.  Nothing is ever going to be enough for you.  Why do you think you take so long to get anything done?  Why do you spend so much time talking and taunting and watching and waiting?”

Murdoc didn’t move, his hand still inches away from his delicate instrument that caused pain but did no lasting damage.  “I’m an artist.”

“You’re afraid.” 

“I fear nothing.”

“You fear winning.”

Murdoc laughed, a forced, uncomfortable sound that he’d never heard come from his own mouth.  “That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard, Angus.  Are you sure the pain isn’t getting to your head?”

MacGyver pressed on relentlessly.  “You crave attention.  You need a challenge.  That’s why you picked me.  And you’re afraid of what happens if you beat me.  If I die, there’s always that possibility that you won’t find another playmate.”

Still, Murdoc didn’t move.  His words, despite their teasing jaunt, had a forced quality to them.  “Awfully full of ourselves, aren’t we, MacGyver?”

He could hear the triumphant smile in his adversary’s voice.  “I’m just stating the truth, Murdoc.  You might torture me, you might have your fun.  But at the end of the day, you’re going to slip up somehow.  It’s your way of making sure the game goes on.  Without that challenge, what are you?  Just an angry voice screaming at the sky, no purpose, no point.  You say you’ve studied me, Murdoc.  You’ve watched me and know me.  Well, in doing so, you’ve shown me yourself, too.  You’re not going to kill me today.  You’re never going to kill me.  

“I don’t know what exactly I’ve done to deserve this… honor,” he continued, placing particular derision on the last word, “but you’ve become obsessed with me, Murdoc.  Believe me, I don’t like saying this any more than you like hearing it.  But it’s how I know I’m going to walk away from this.  If I’m gone, so is your fun.”

Murdoc prided himself on maintaining control over his emotions.  An artist, though he might express the inner workings of his soul on canvas, could not let his feelings control the brush, control him.  Look what had happened to Van Gogh – sure, beautiful work, but his emotions controlled him, destroyed him in the end.  Murdoc didn’t make mistakes like that.  He waited.  He didn’t lash out in anger.  It wasn’t because he wanted MacGyver to live, oh no.  His fondest dream was to see the blonde boy cry, to watch him squirm and beg for mercy, and then, finally, only when he’d really begged for it, to send him to his death.  MacGyver had no idea what he was talking about.  

It wasn’t even MacGyver’s words, his cocky belief that he was important enough to his torturer to keep alive, that sent Murdoc over the edge.  It was the tiny little voice, way back in the darkest, most depraved corner of his already dark and depraved mind, the one that spoke not in the voice of Murdoc, but one that sounded more like Dennis, the first casualty of Murdoc’s career – himself.  The voice said, plainly, without emotion, You know he’s right.

And that was the catalyst for the tsunami of rage that crashed into Murdoc, pummeling his well-practiced and unshakable resolve to take his time.  That was what spurred his frozen body into movement, curled his fingers around the handle of the meat tenderizer, that brash, archaic tool, rather than the pliers.  That was what spit his next words out of his mouth as if they were poison, words that finally – beautifully – caused Angus MacGyver’s eyes to widen in real fear: “You are going to walk out of here?”  A sadistic, mad giggle.  “My dear Angus, it will be a miracle if you ever walk again.”  

He hefted the heavy steel implement in his hand, pulled back, and lunged.  MacGyver tried to back away, the chains around his wrists cackling and clicking against one another in his desperation.  They held firm, and the meat tenderizer slammed full force into MacGyver’s left kneecap.  Murdoc felt the crunch of bones.  He heard the bestial howl, the scream of anguish, the body-jerking, breath stealing cry of a man in so much pain he lost himself.  He watched MacGyver’s face drain of color, recognized the moment when the pain became too much, and saw the tear-streaked face go slack, the chin thud against the battered chest and stay there. 

For a moment, Murdoc experienced the euphoria one could only find in hurting that special someone in such a catastrophic way.  He relished in that moment the scream, the agony, the writhing and loss of control.

Then the moment ended – and far too soon.

Immediately after, the weapon dropped out of Murdoc’s limp fingers.  It smashed into the floor below, with the jarring clang that only metal on concrete can produce.  He looked at the limp, hanging form before him, and something twisted inside of him – a feeling he’d never known.  It wasn’t guilt, nor revulsion.

It was, however, regret.

He didn’t understand it.  He should be overjoyed.  MacGyver was completely at his mercy.  Murdoc could kill him now.  Carve that bleeding heart out like a villain in a fairy tale would.  But then, he realized, MacGyver would be gone.  Forever.  Even now, his kneecap had been crushed, shattered into tiny fragments of bone and cartilage, and unless he got treatment of the highest quality, and soon, he’d almost certainly be crippled.  Even if he had extensive reconstructive surgery, his career as a Phoenix agent could still be over.

Wasn’t that what Murdoc had wanted?  To end MacGyver’s pesky existence, to win at this game of cat and mouse?  To create his most spectacular masterpiece with his greatest enemy?  That’s what he had dreamed of for years now, what he’d studied and practiced and yearned for.  And yet – 

What was it that hoity toity Greek poet had written?  Murdoc had read “Ithika” long ago, a random page in a poetry book of a man he’d killed.  For some reason, the poem had attached itself to his mind and never let go.  He could remember it even now:  

Keep Ithika always in your mind. Arriving there is what you’re destined for.  But don’t hurry the journey at all.  Better if it lasts for years, so you’re old by the time you reach the island, wealthy with all you’ve gained on the way, not expecting Ithika to make you rich.  Ithika gave you the marvelous journey.  Without her you wouldn’t have set out.  She has nothing to give you now.

And he understood.  The poem was supposed to be inspirational, for fools so focused on their goals that they missed the journey of life along the way – a mundane, silly sentiment.  But now Murdoc could see – MacGyver’s destruction was his Ithika.  Perhaps Cavafy had a point – maybe he had been a bit of an artist himself.  And MacGyver had been right about some things, wrong about others.

He was right in that Murdoc wasn’t ready to end the game just yet.  But it wasn't fear that held him back, that urged him to take his time.  It was joy.  Joy of the journey.  The little pleasures of life that are so often passed by in the grand scheme of things – the poet had been speaking of knowledge, of friendship, of love, of experiences.  Murdoc’s little pleasures were things like fear, drawn-out suffering, playing with his food and watching it squirm.  He relished that joy.  He wanted more of it, and if MacGyver died, or was out of commission as a spy, that joy would diminish.  Even if MacGyver lived, it wouldn’t be the same if he couldn’t fight back, couldn’t play along.

Murdoc made his decision.

He reached into his pocket, pulled out a burner phone.  He dialed a number he’d memorized long ago, put the phone to his ear.

A fierce Texas twang answered before the first ring had run its course.  “Murdoc, you son of a bitch–”

“Temper, Jack,” Murdoc drawled.  He shivered in excitement at the mental picture of the inferno in Dalton’s eyes.  “You just assumed it was me – imagine if it were your mother on the other line.”

“I can scent the devil from a mile away.”  Murdoc heard muffled voices in the background, knew the call was being traced.  

“Don’t waste your time running a trace, you grumpy old hound dog.”  His words were light, yet he allowed the slightest hint of urgency to infect them.  “I’ve had my fun for today.  I’ll text you the address.”  He paused.  “Oh, and bring one of those fancy whirly-birds you like to use for medical emergencies.  I might have been a little… over zealous this time.”

He closed his eyes, gorging on the incalculable levels of hatred in Jack Dalton’s next words.  “If you hurt him–”

Appreciation turned to irritation.  Murdoc rolled his coal eyes to the ceiling.  “Weren’t you listening, you brute?  Obviously, I hurt him.  Quite a bit actually.  You should have heard him scream.”

A short silence.  Then – “You didn’t let me finish, you overgrown sewer rat.  If you hurt him, I am going to tear you limb from limb.  I don’t need any of your fancy tools.”

“Hmm, that was almost intimidating,” Murdoc teased in his most good-natured tone.  “But you’ll have to find me first.”  He let the words linger for just a moment, then continued: “Anyway, ta-ta for now.  I’ll text you the address.  I’ll be long gone by the time you get here, but feel free to bring all your little friends for a game of hide and seek.  Though I have a feeling that you’re going to be more focused on sweet Angus.”

He hung up, texted the address, then turned to a feebly stirring MacGyver.  Pity he was waking up right as Murdoc had to leave.  Whimpers that would have torn the very soul out of Jack Dalton erupted unbidden from MacGyver’s lips.  Glazed blue eyes cracked open, regarding Murdoc with a mixture of terror and acceptance.  Though he had regained consciousness, MacGyver still hung limply from the chains, too weak and in pain to move.

Murdoc stepped forward, eliciting the tiniest of flinches  Even that motion made MacGyver cry out.  But Murdoc didn’t hurt him again.  Instead, he said, “Your friends are on their way.”

MacGyver’s voice rasped in the aftermath of his screams.  “You’re letting … me go… Why?”  

“Got bored, I suppose.”  No way was Murdoc going to let MacGyver know he’d been right, even if only a little bit.

MacGyver didn’t respond – maybe he didn’t know how to respond; more likely, he could barely form coherent thoughts, let alone words, amidst the torrent of pain.

Murdoc started to step away, then turned back, studying his latest draft of the elusive masterpiece that he would continue to dream about and that would fuel his passion and creativity for years to come.  He pulled off one black glove, placed his hand on a pale, cold cheek.  MacGyver jerked back feebly from the touch, grunting at the pain it produced.  Slowly, Murdoc wiped one of the fresher tears away with his thumb.  It might have been a power play.  It might have been a show of comfort.  Even the hit man didn’t know.  He glanced down at the shattered knee, swollen and misshapen, a grotesque monster straining to break free from the unrelenting fabric of the khakis.

“For what it’s worth,” he said quietly, moving his gaze up from the deformed knee to lock his black eyes with fearful, anguished blue ones, “I didn’t mean it.”

He walked away, casting one final look over his shoulder before he left his art behind for the coming Phoenix agents to admire.  “Until next time, MacGyver.”

And despite the extensive search conducted by Phoenix once MacGyver had been loaded onto the chopper, on his way to the best orthopaedic surgeons in the country, Murdoc had once more disappeared, like a ghost.

That night he dreamed about his Ithika, and this time, it was enough. 

[usermaha]

Red ask game (Taylor’s Version)

from @catefrankie​

1. favorite song off of red?

this album’s especially difficult for me to choose a favorite from, but right now i’ll go with state of grace, for the way it absolutely blows me out and pulls me in this world of whirlwind romance and heartbreak.

2. favorite simile in red?

fighting with him is like trying to solve a crossword and realize there’s just no right answer

3. which songs are you most looking forward to seeing rerecorded?

4. favorite red-era music video?

ikywt. the drama. the grunge rock visuals. the pink highlights in the ruffled hair. the intro spoken lines. waking up stranded in the festival. the scene in the motel the next morning, the guy is shirtless. (12-year old-me: can’t unsee the implications) taylor in the bathroom wistfully touching the light bulb. borrowing his hat. he gets a tattoo. the camera shots at the concerts as he’s dancing with the other girls. obsessed since 2013. 

5. favorite lyric from “all too well”?

the delivery of ‘im a crumpled up piece of paper lying here’ she’s clearly screaming crying. it like dashes my skin open every time. 

6. are you feeling 22?

no :(( i feel 19 and on fire its too hot here

7. what did red mean to you when you first listened to it?

it really intrigued me. i looked up the lyric videos on youtube in a random order, but i loved the variety of one song from another, that between the pop anthems there  were mellower tracks with depth and nuance and storytelling. this (along with speak now) were the first albums i heard from taylor, and she obviously won me over to be a stan.

8. what does it mean to you to have red coming out again now?

over the years this have been the OG 4 (cause there were 4 when i joined) im the most in love with so im mad hyped. fall and winter are my favorite seasons, and while i would love to jam to a summer bop lately i’ve been feeling very melancholic (more than usual hahaha im a sad bitch always) with the grief of 2020 and graduating school and starting college. so i can’t wait to slip on a cardigan, order some coffee and get gutted at the feels

9. favorite vocal moment in the album?

i almost do, the part after the chorus she changes everytime, it sounds so sweet and heartwrenching

10. what item/outfit in your closet reminds you the most of taylor’s fashion during this era?

i have a grey hat similar to taylor’s that i bought on a whim but never wear anywhere cos you cant just wear a hat in public. i thought i’ll wear it when i see her on tour :(( delusional girl she’s never coming here :(

i just remembered, one of my pandemic impulse purchases was a gorgeous red flower crown. will be sure to bust that out for release day

11. who do you want to see taylor collaborate with in the vault songs?

considering the vibe of the era, lorde for a melodrama pop anthem, and lana for a more wistful track

12. the hat in the original album cover or the hat in the taylor’s version album cover?

i have some qualms with the new cover :)) so old hat for sure, absolute icon. i know i probably had that hat as a pfp in evermore era, but now i only thing i can think is it must be so warm

13. favorite thing about autumn?

temperatures getting lower :) it always seems like i have to wait too long for an actual significant temperature drop, and in halloween i dont have candles i have the fan on. 😡 so when it finally happens its like magic, the mood is wonderous, even when exams are drawing closer. i get really hyped around halloween for a few years, not for anything legitimately scary but to pull out the Dark Academia color pallete, and i watch a not-super-scary movie with my bff so wholesome times :)

14. which of taylor’s other albums do you most consider to be red’s sister album?

folklore. the sad times are back, but it’s not cute anymore, it’s darker and more existential. also, theory, the relationship referred in ‘the 1′ and further explored and romanticized throughout is the one from red.

15. favorite bridge from the album?

the last time, the drama reaches the cresendo in intensity, and it ends with the harmonizing ‘oh-oh-oh-oh’.

16. do you have a lot going on at the moment?

there’s the college thing, but it sure feels like not a lot when you’ve spent the entire summer in your bedroom. the release of red TV is that cool thing im anticipating, *prepares* i have to prepare 

[missmonsters2]

Leave Me Lonely

@eseqsays: Hiyo! May I request 12 and 17 with Natasha Romanoff x Reader please? I am in the mood to hurt. @marvelouschloe: Natasha x reader. 13 and 20 (angst)

Pairing: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader 

Prompt Request: @yourmainlove, @eseqsays, @marvelouschloe​ 💗

- 12: I don’t even care that you’re breaking me. I am an absolute fucking moron because I’m always going to love you. - 13: We’re falling apart, and you don’t even care! - 14: I can’t keep pretending like I’m okay with being just your friend when I want you in my bed. - 17: I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care. - 20: If you walk out that door, we’re done.

Notes: Thank you for sending these in! I hope you don’t mind that I’ve combined some of them as they’re similar and just fit perfectly in this story!

Warnings: Angsty angst sadness :(

Count: 3469

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

“If you walk out that door, we’re done.”

You stood before the door, hand on the knob, throat burning but refusing to let any more tears fall.

Because you’ve had enough.

A part of you isn’t sure exactly what caused everything to lead up to this moment because you had believed in forever beforehand. 

Because you love Natasha. 

And now, everything was gone, and you can’t tell whose fault it was. 

Maybe it was Natasha’s fault for being a coward.

Maybe it was yours for believing forever could exist between the two of you. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

A month earlier...

“Oh my god, shut up!” You playfully said as you slapped Natasha on the shoulder, the redhead laughing so hard you thought you could see tears in her eyes. 

“I can’t believe you jumped so hard,” Natasha said between her laughter. You rolled your eyes, shifted your legs, so it rested better against Natasha’s lap.

It was movie night, and the two of you always got together alone to watch whatever movie one of you picked.

Natasha picked a horror movie knowing full well you were terrible with them. The number of times you jumped into her arms or hid under the blanket, eyes just peeing over the edge amused her to no ends.

“It’s scary!” You defended yourself.

“We’ve fought literal aliens over the years and other freaky stuff, and you’re scared of this horror movie?” Natasha snorted.

“Yeah,” you said. “And you know what we’ve never fought? Ghosts. This shit is freaky.”

Natasha only snorted softly again but didn’t say anything as the two of you resumed watching the movie. 

It was silent, only the movie playing as you two focused on the screen. Natasha had her hands on your legs, stroking softly at your shin idly. 

It made you warm. 

Eventually, you had shifted, so the two of you were lying on the couch with Natasha on the inside. Her hand rested against your hips, drawing light circles over your exposed skin.

It was bringing goosebumps.

But it wasn’t anything new.

Even with the movie playing, your mind wandered to Natasha.

It’s been like this for two years. You were new to the team when you first came, difficult for you to adjust as you never had anybody to rely on before. 

Working in the team dynamic was new for you too. 

It took time, but Natasha was someone you trained a lot with, and she took her time, never rushing you to open up. 

The friendship was initially slow, but before the two of you knew it, it grew into something more.

But at the same time, not enough.

The two of you were friends, there was no doubt about it. You would die for her without a second thought, and you knew she would do the same for you.

But it was like there was this invisible barrier that kept the two of you from being more.

Sure, you could touch her. You could hold her hand, stroke her skin, or lean your head on her. But you couldn’t sleep with her or kiss her. 

You could tell her you love her, but never that you were in love with her.

These were boundaries that were set up by Natasha, so maybe the barrier wasn’t that invisible. 

But she never slept with anyone else, never dated anyone else.

So, this was enough for you for now. 

Forever doesn’t need to be rushed. 

Plus, you were pretty sure things would go south if you confessed or cornered Natasha anytime soon.

“That was an awful movie.”

Natasha’s voice broke you out of your thought, her breath on your exposed ear made you shiver lightly. 

You noticed the movie ended.

“You picked it,” you teased her and Natasha rolled her eyes with a smile.

She fully wrapped her arm around your waist and pulled you close. 

“Right,” she drawled. “Your turn to pick something, then, and no TV shows.”

“Why not!” You whined, earning a chuckle from the redhead.

“You pick TV shows that are entirely too interesting, and I cannot afford to binge-watch something this late, not when Steve wants us at the training room by 6AM tomorrow.”

You groaned, letting your head fall back slightly. 

“Maybe we should head to bed then,” you sullenly say, thinking about how tired you were going to be in the morning. 

Natasha sighed but nodded, but neither of you made a move to get up. 

“Are you staying the night again?” Natasha asked, tapping her finger lightly on your stomach.

“Mhm,” you hummed, eyes closed. “Unless you’re kicking me out tonight.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” Natasha tells you softly, and you grin. She shifts a little, and it’s a sign for you to get up.

You stretch as you do, shirt riding up and you see from the corner of your eye that it catches Natasha’s attention.

You smirk a little before heading off to the washroom. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The next week is busy as you’re busy training the new agents with Steve and Natasha was sent on a mission with Clint. 

“Alright! That’s enough for the day, go hit the showers,” Steve yells, and the agents sigh in relief before shuffling out the door one by one. 

Once everyone is gone, you chuckle a little bit as you take a chug of water.

“What?” Steve asks you with a slight quirk in his lips and raised brow.

“Nothing, just Amber giving you the bedroom eyes while training is hilarious.”

“What?” Steve exclaims while the tip of his ears flushes slightly as he drinks water himself.

“C’mon, you’re telling me you don’t notice her giving off the feral pheromones every day this week?”

Steve starts coughing, which makes you laugh even more.

“Like you’re one to talk,” he grumbles.

“What do you mean?” You ask as your laugh dies down.

Steve rolls his eyes, shifting his weight onto one leg.

“Like you’re not eyeing Natasha like she’s a drop of water and you’ve been stranded in the Sahara desert.”

You slapped Steve, who jumped out the way with a laugh.

“Oh my god, I do not!” You blushed.

Steven just laughed even more before the two of you settled down.

“But seriously, why don’t you just move your relationship with her to the next level. It’s obvious the two of you are crazy about each other. I haven’t seen Natasha like that...well, since ever.”

You merely shrug.

“I just...I don’t know. I don’t think we’re there yet.”

“But you want to be there,” Steve points out.

The conversation is almost making you uncomfortable because you’ve never gotten the chance to speak about how you felt about Natasha.

“I...I like where we are now,” you tell Steve who just gives you a crooked grin.

“Why are you holding back?”

You merely smile.

“There’s no need to rush forever.”

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Later that day, you see Natasha talking to Clint and Bruce, and you smile as you walk up to them.

“Hey!” You greet happily. “You made it back!”

Natasha just merely smiles.

“Well,” you drag. “It’s movie night. I’ll catch you at your place later?”

“No, I’m actually busy tonight,” Natasha diverts. Before you can say anything, someone calls her name, and she turns and leaves.

You stand there staring at Clint and Bruce, confusion written all over your face.

“Okay, that was weird, right?” You say to them, and they looked confused too. 

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

Natasha is avoiding you. 

You’re not sure why.

But she is.

And everyone knows it too.

You’re wondering if you did something to make her mad, but in the past, Natasha had no problem calling you out if you did something to upset her. 

Every time you try to talk to her, she manages to escape. If she sees you down the hall, suddenly she has to go the other way. 

There were no more movie nights.

She wasn’t in her room at night.

It was frustrating the hell out of you.

And one day, you just had enough.

So, after a training session with Steve and everyone left, you cornered Natasha.

“Okay, what gives?”

Natasha seems shocked that you’ve trapped and confronted her.

“What do you mean?” She asks as if nothing is wrong.

“Why are you avoiding me?” You frown.

“I’m not avoiding you,” Natasha denies, trying to walk around you but you block her again.

“See! Like that, you’re avoiding me.”

Natasha doesn’t say anything, but you can tell she is getting frustrated herself the way her forehead crinkles. 

“Just...did I do something? Just tell me if I did something and I’ll fix it.”

“It’s nothing you did,” Natasha tries to tell you but you cut her off again.

“Well, why are you avoiding me like I have the bubonic plague? Every time I try to talk to you, you leave. When you see me coming in your direction, you turn somewhere else. You’ve canceled movie nights two nights in a row now.”

“Are you done?” Natasha asked, rather callously.

You tilt your head back in a surprised manner from her tone.

“No, I’m not done actually,” you tell her, feeling the anger rise up in you a little bit. “I don’t know what your problem is, but if you have something to say, just say it because I don’t deserve how you’re treating me.”

“I don’t have anything to say!” Natasha says, frustratedly at you. 

“Then why are you treating me like this!” 

“I’m not treating you like anything! If I don’t want to talk to you or don’t want to hang out with you all the time, there’s nothing wrong with that. You’re the one who’s making a big deal out of it.”

The callous words hit you in the gut, and Natasha can tell. 

It leaves you breathless.

She starts to call your name, but you cut her off.

“You’re right,” you say, clearing your throat because it feels like it’s closing up. 

“My bad. Do whatever you want, Nat.”

You try your best to sound normal as your turn and leave. 

Natasha stands alone in the room, more frustrated than before and groans.

She was really fucking this up.

⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷⋆⊶⊷⊶⊷⊶⊷

The next week, it’s you who avoids Natasha.

Though, you’re trying to be less obvious about it. You’ll stay and chat in a big group, even if Natasha is there. You don’t run the opposite direction if you see her coming. You merely give her a tight smile and keep walking. 

The only painful thing about it is that Natasha doesn’t seem to be making an effort to corner you as you did to her. 

It sucks.

It hurts.

“You should just talk to her again,” Steve encourages you. It’s already late at night, and you look pathetic drinking at the bar alone, but you feel as sad as you look.

But you sigh and stand up because Steve is right.

“Wish me luck,” you mumble. 

You make your way to Natasha’s room, your nerves out of whack as you try to pep talk yourself that everything is fine.

You’re going to talk to Natasha, it’ll be heartfelt, and you’ll get down to the bottom of whatever it is, apologize, and makeup.

Everything will be fine is what you tell yourself as you stand in front of her door.

You take a deep breath and release heavily before knocking. 

There’s giggling on the other side of the room that makes you cock your brow. 

You knock more loudly and incessantly.

Then the door swings open and you see Natasha standing there, looking slightly disheveled and breathless. 

“What is it?” She asks you like she doesn’t have time for you.

It stings, but you need to push on.

“I just want to talk,” you try to say disarmingly as not to make her defensive.

“It’s not a good time,” Natasha tells you, the door blocking your view from anything else.

“Then make time,” you say non-negotiably.

Natasha is about to say something else, but then there’s another voice in the back.

“Natasha? Who’s there? Hurry and come back! It’s getting pretty cold without your body.”

The annoying giggle in there again.

For a moment, you’re incensed, and you push the door open anyway even though it’s clear Natasha doesn’t want you inside.

You see one of the new agents sitting there, top off but bra still on with wine and cheese on the table.

You turn back to Natasha.

“What the hell is this?” 

You may not be dating, but you both know you’re not just friends.

And this feels like a swift betrayal in your stomach. It drops when you see a dark red mark on the new agent’s neck. 

Natasha doesn’t say anything, so you turn back to the new agent.

“Leave,” you scowl. 

The new agent picks up her shirt, scurrying away while Natasha sighs.

“That was unnecessary,” she says as she straightens out her clothing.

“What you’re doing is unnecessary!” You shoot back at her. 

“I don’t understand,” you say softly. “Three weeks ago, everything was fine, and now we’re falling apart, and you don’t even care. What’s changed?”

Natasha shifts uncomfortably.

“We’re friends,” she tells you, and you look confused.

“Yes,” you agree, not sure what Natasha is leading with.

“That’s it,” she tells you, and the realization hits you like a truck.

“Oh my god,” you groan. “You heard Steve and me talking that one time, didn’t you?”

“I came back early,” she tells you, but you know she means that she was eavesdropping. 

“Well, we are friends. I told him I like what we have now.” You’re trying to peddle back because it’s obvious this has set Natasha off like you knew it would.

“For now it is,” Natasha agrees, “but you want more. I can’t give you that.”

You sigh.

“Nat, I’m not asking you to give me more. You give me plenty as it is right now.”

“No,” Natasha injects. “I can’t give you anything more. Ever.”

The words make you furrow your brows because yes, you believed that Natasha just needed more time to adjust to being more, to come to terms that she loved you.

“You can’t seriously be telling me you think we’re just friends,” you say to her. 

“I don’t know what you want me to say to that.”

“I want you to say anything! Scream! Yell at me! Just something to show you fucking care!” You tell her, putting your hand to your forehead.

“Friends don’t touch like we do, don’t stare at each other like we do, don’t get jealous the way we do.”

“I’ve never been jealous,” Natasha denies, and you scoff with a roll of your eyes.

“Right, so four weeks ago when you beat the shit out of the new agent Darren during training for flirting with me, that was just a coincidence?”

Natasha doesn’t say anything.

It’s so frustrating, her standing there like none of it matters.

Like you don’t matter.

“I’m not asking that we change anything right away, but don’t stand there and lie to yourself that you don’t have feelings for me,” you tell her softly and Natasha bristles.

“You’re being delusional if you think we’re more than friends,” Natasha stands her ground firmly.

You’re not sure why, but it pisses you off.

Because if she thinks you’re just friends, why does she treat you the way she does?

Why does she hold you during movie night, seek you out in the crowds, hold your hand softly, let you in her bed?

Why would she go and show you all the different sides of her?

“You’re delusional if you think we aren’t,” you fire back at her, taking a step towards her. 

Natasha stands in one place, but you can tell she’s nervous.

“I love you,” you confess to her. “I’m in love with you, Nat. I have been, for a while now.”

The words make Natasha shut her eyes painfully. 

“Don’t,” she warns you, but you press on.

“And I know you’re in love with me too. I’m not saying we have to date, but all I’m asking is that you acknowledge we’re different.”

“Why is this not good enough for you!” Natasha finally blows up. “What we have is so good, can’t you see that? No one has it as good as we do.”

“What we have can be better.”

“There is no better!” Natasha yells at you. “In our line of work, this is as good as it gets. Being in a relationship makes you vulnerable. Enemies knowing our vulnerabilities makes us an easy target. It’s not the same as Clint, where I can just hide you from the rest of the world. We both belong to our responsibilities.”

“Nothing hasn’t even happened yet!” 

“And nothing will, because what we have stays as it is, or we have nothing at all.”

Natasha has a finality to her tone, but you don’t accept it.

“You say that as if in this very moment, or even if we try to go back to nothing, that if I die, it won't affect you. It’s too late, Nat, you’re already in love with me! We deserve happiness too.”

“I was happy, why weren’t you?” Natasha asks, almost tiredly.

“I was,” you tell her softly, “but eventually, I can’t keep pretending like I’m okay with being just your friend when I want you in my bed.”

“And what?” Natasha asks you harshly. “Because I can’t give you what you want, you’re going to leave me?”

You shake your head. “I am fine with being just your friend if that’s what you truly felt about me. But you don’t.”

“But that’s what I’m choosing.”

Tears well up in your eyes, a gnawing in your stomach that tells you you’re being foolish.

“You’re a coward,” you tell her, voice raw as it stings in the back of your throat.

“You’re so scared of being happy for once, to get what you truly want because you think you don’t deserve it. Well, newsflash, Nat, you deserve the world and more, and I wish you’d let yourself feel that.”

“I’m not worth it, this far in and I’m already breaking you,” Natasha says with a shake of her head. 

She just wants you to concede, so everything can go back to the way it was.

She doesn’t know how to tell you, yes, she is in love with you too. But she can live with only being your friend.

Because she won’t survive if she knows what your lips feel like, how soft your body feels, the way you’d tremble underneath her as she takes you, the way you’d taste, and the way you’d look as she brings you over the edge and it all went away.

Whether you die on a mission, her enemies got to you, or somehow you’d fall out of love with her and leave her.

It was so selfish of her, but she scared of more.

You’re right, she is a coward.

You merely shake your head, tears falling from your eyes and it’s terrible for Natasha to see and be the cause of it. 

“This was incredibly stupid,” you say, voice trembling. “I don’t even care that you’re breaking me. I am an absolute fucking moron because I’m always going to love you. But that isn’t enough for you to want more, is it?”

You don’t even wait for Natasha to answer as you walk past her. 

“Wait--”

“You’re right, I’m an asshole because I’m not fine with just being your friend. I can’t stand here and pretend with you that everything is alright, that’s I’m not in love with you, and you’re not in love with me, that you’re not deliberately just choosing to ignore everything.” You tell her as you put your hand on the knob.

Natasha panics.

Sirens are going off in her head because she just knows that if you walk out that door, she’s going to lose you forever. 

That the two of you will really be nothing, and Natasha realizes that maybe she can’t live with that either. 

“If you walk out that door, we’re done.”

Those are the wrong words, and Natasha doesn’t know why it slipped out of her mouth. 

But she feels her heart breaking too, and she doesn’t know how to get you to stay.

She can only see your back, but Natasha hears a humorless chuckle as you turn the knob.

“We were already done.”

You leave the room, the door shutting with a soft click. 

Perhaps that was as good as it could get, but neither of you realized that it could get worse too. 

You pressed your lips together, walking down the empty hallway.

Forever did exist, you think, just not the way you thought it would.           

[lunanight2012]

A Whole New World Chapter 1 Part 1

Key:

{Y/N} = Your Name

{E/C} = Eye Color

{H/L} = Hair Length

{H/C} = Hair Color

{S/C} = Skin Color

{N/N} = Nickname

{L/N} = Last Name

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1 year later

(1st person pov)

A whole year has passed since I came to this world and you know what. I love it!

Harry and I have been paired together, and well. We kinda have a thing. I have long since gotten rid of my old clothes and became a full fledged pirate. Oh and Harry and I live together in his apartment.

He's become my best friend, I've never had a best friend so this was nice.

"{Y/N}! Hello? Ya coming?" Harry exclaimed from the hall.

"I'm comin!" I exclaimed, getting my bandana and tying it around my head, keeping my {H/C} {H/L} out of my face.

I headed out of the bedroom and over to where Harry was waiting for me at the door. I smirked, a very mischievous idea coming to mind. I grabbed his hook from him and bolted out the door, giggling like crazy.

"Get back 'ere!" Harry shouted, chasing after me, though I could hear the laughter in his voice.

I laughed as I dodged residents in the market, making my way towards Ursula's Chip Shop. 

Making it inside I placed his hook on the sword check barrel, placing my sword inside before I scampered off towards Uma.

"Bout time Ya showed up… where's Harry?" Uma questioned as I got on my apron to help out at the shop. 

I didn't even answer, just gestured at the door as Harry ran through, grabbing his hook off the barrel and placing his sword in the barrel.

"Ye little brat!" Harry exclaimed, though it was easy to see he wasn't angry, with that goofy smile on his face.

Yea I may or may not do this to him regularly, i perked up as Uma started to swear at the tv.

I walked over to the tiny television and watched with Harry, Uma, and Gil.

"WHAT? THOSE BASTARDS GET TO GET OFF THE ISLE AND WE DON'T???" Uma screamed.

I held Harry's left hand, we just stood there watching a limo pull up to the Auradon school and there they were. A bunch of scary idiots, Mal, Evie, Carlos, and Jay. Harry knew how much I wanted to get all the kids off the Isle, but we were Uma's crew so to Uma we wanted to get off the Isle ourselves.

Harry squeezed my hand, knowing what we were seeing was really bugging me.

"Uma! Imma take {Y/N} to the beach. She's not doin good." Harry explained untying my apron and dragging me out of the shop and down to the small littered beach.

"Come on {N/N} what's wrong? I know ye don't like that they got chosen to go to Auradon but what's really botherin ya?" Harry asked me, crossing his arms over his chest. 

I stared at the ground, not saying anything. I just wanted to tell him I like as more than a friend but I'm scared.

"I just feel horrible that those jerks get to go to Auradon and you guys don't. Why can't you guys have a nice life with those goody two shoes. I mean heck there's a lot of gorgeous girls in Auradon. I mean have you seen Prince Ben's girlfriend? What was her name???" I rambled on, trying to remember Aurora's daughter's name.

Harry lifted an eyebrow but went along with it. "Audrey? Yea she's alright. I ain't really the princess type if ye haven't noticed {N/N}." Harry stated, showing off his hook.

I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck. Suddenly a clinking bottle drew us away. Of course Captain Hook would find us here on this spot of the beach.

"Boy! Where the hell have ye been!! And who is this pretty thing?" Hook held out his hook, brushing some of my hair back. 

I cringed and backed away, only for him to grab my wrist with his non-hook hand, rather tightly might I add.

"Where do ye think yer goin? Yer coming with me!" Hook exclaime, a VERY creepy grin on his face.

Harry grabbed his fathers hand and ripped it off my wrist, pulling me behind him and glaring at his dad.

"She's mine pops. Fuck off and be pissed somewhere else!" And as soon as those words left Harry's mouth a loud smack could be heard, followed by me gasping.

Yeah, Captain Hook bitch slapped his son across the face. "How dare you talk to me like that you lowly punk! You sir are coming with me." Hook grabbed Harry's left wrist and dragged him away. 

Harry turned back to me, mouthing ‘get back to Umas now’

I whimpered, watching helplessly as harry was dragged away by Hook ‘im sorry’

~back at Ursula's Chip Shop~

I walked back into the shop, head hung low, trying to not cry.

"Where the hell have you bee- where's Harry?" Uma asked looking around.

"His father tried to take me away, so Harry stepped in and his father slapped him and took him away, it's all my fault…" I explained, a sadness to my tone.

Uma dropped whatever she was holding. "Dammit! That bastard is an abusive fuck! {Y/N} go find some bandages, and some needle and thread. Gil, go boil some water! It is gonna be a long day." Uma ordered.

I nodded and ran towards the stalls. Stealing everything Uma asked of me. Running back towards the Chip Shop all I could think of was what was gonna happen to Harry. Is he gonna be ok? This is all my fault. If we had just stayed at the shop-

"{Y/N}! Did you find everything?" Uma exclaimed, drawing me out of my mental breakdown.

I nodded and handed her everything. She nodded in approval and placed them behind the counter in a safe place.

And so while we waited for Harry to return, I helped out Uma at the Shop. It was a rough time helping out without Harry. Mostly because grown men were hitting on me and ugh!! I just want Harry to come back safe and sound.

2 hours later~~~~

I groaned as I held my head, tired of the drunken whistles and catcalls coming from the older male customers. And yes I've been grabbed a couple of times already. My butt, my wrists, my waist… need I go on?

I slumped against the bar as Uma pushed a plate towards me, with fish and eggs and oh!

Harry came in right then, his hook on his belt, hugging his right arm. I ran to him, tears in my eyes.

"Harry!!! I'm so glad you're back!! Wait what's wrong with your arm?" I asked, about to hug him but stopped as I noticed blood dripping down to the floor from his right arm.

"Dad fucked up my arm" Harry explained, wincing as he walked over to the bar.

Uma saw Harry and ran over to him. "I swear to Poseidon, I will kill that fucker dad of yours once and for all for what he's done to you! The bastard doesn't deserve to live!" Uma raged, her shell necklace glowing from beneath her shirt, trying to unleash umas anger, but to no avail.

Uma took Harry over behind the bar counter and got out the medical supplies and, Gil and I’s help, stitched the slice on his arm back up and created a sling for his arm. Uma ordered me to take harry home and make sure the cut didn’t get infected.

I sniffed as I eyed Harry’s arm, seeing blood splotches blooming beneath the white of the sling.

“Harry?” I whispered, he hummed, wincing as he turned to look at me “why did you do that for me? Protect me from your dad? It only caused you harm” he stopped walking, stared at me for a moment, that’s when I finally noticed his face, littered with bruises and cuts, his lip busted and scabbed, a blackening eye.

“I” he started, closing his eyes, taking a deep breath, “I care about yeh lassie, I couldn’t let him do tha’ ta yeh, not on my watch”

I felt my eyes tear up. "N-no- no one has ever cared about me that much." I whispered, rubbing the tears from my {E/C} eyes.

Harry was surprised by that. "Really? Now tha' is surprisin'. Yer very special, don' ever let anyone tell ya differently." Harry stated, pulling me to his chest, I began to cry.

We stood like this for only a moment longer before people started noticing us. Harry grabbed my hand with his good one and we ran to the apartment. Ducking, jumping, squeezing past all the people in the marketplace was a task but we were both laughing by the time we got to the apartment.

I placed my palm on the door to open it, slightly wincing. But hey what can you expect from permanent scars on both of my palms, that still hurt even after a year.

Harry frowned. "Scars hurtin?" He asked me once we were inside.

"Yea. But it's alright." I smiled as I closed the door behind Harry.

"Let meh see 'em." He stated, holding out his good hand. 

I sighed and placed both of my hands in his hand. He pulled my hands up to his face and kissed them. My face turning bright red.

He smirked. "Ok lass. Now I've waited a year but I've got two questions for ye." Harry stated, sitting down on our rundown couch.

"Ok." I remarked, raising an eyebrow.

"First off. You mentioned you had an affinity for water. What do ye mean by that?" Harry asked me.

I sighed, sitting on the stool across from him. 

"Alright, guess I should expect this. When I was very young, really my entire life, my mom didn't really like me. And now that I think about it, no one in my family liked me. I never got what I wanted for my birthday. My mom kept me inside as much as possible. But when I was young, on rainy days I would sneak out to the backyard and sit on a big log that laid in the back of our backyard and would just giggle as the rain wouldn't touch me but would lightly swirl around me. Of course when my mom saw me she'd scream bloody murder and drag me back inside. Granted the minute she would grab me the rain would hit me. As I got older I learned that being "special" was not something people should know. I needed to keep it locked away. But that didn't make my relationship with my family any better. Actually 6 months before I arrived here I was kicked out of my parents house. I was only 14. I have my own small apartment. Actually, your apartment here is bigger than the one I had back on my world. And I had to lie about my age to get a job, AND I'm still in High School. So yea. Maybe coming here was the world's way of saying I needed a fresh start." I rambled on.

Harry chuckled. "Outside of this barrier is magic. And now I understand why you and Uma get along like sisters." Harry stated, leaning back.

"Har. You said you had two questions. What is the second question?" I asked, becoming curious.

"O-oh… *swallows* Well lass. Ye know I really like ye. And I was wonderin' would ye want to be meh gurl?" Harry asked, his face heating up.

I blushed but smiled, getting up and sitting next to Harry's good side. 

"I like you too harry, and yes i'll be yer gurl" I mocked his accent with a big smile on my face.

Harry smiled and leaned closer to my face. I smirked and grabbed his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. Harry hummed into the kiss, pushing his passion into it. I felt his good hand cup my cheek. After a moment we broke apart, our breaths ragged.

I brushed his cheek with my thumb. "Well, you just had the honor of being my first kiss!" I giggled with a blush.

Harry smirkes. "Well I'm very much honored lassie~!" Harry winked at me. My face turned bright red in embarrassment.

I looked over at the cracked clock. 12:30pm.

Good thing it's saturday… wait it's thursday!

"Harry we've missed half of school. But with how hurt you are we'll skip today." I stated, standing up. Harry shrugged “eh, missing school is a good thing ‘ere remember? If every vk went to school everyday we would lose all our rep”

"I'm going to grab us some food from the mart. I'll be right back." I said smiling down at him. 

Before Harry could say anything I nicked his hook and left the apartment. Tying my bandana around my head I headed out to the market. Holding Harry's hook in my {dominant} hand.

I got to the market, scouring the stalls, I spotted a stall with semi-fresh fruit. Waiting till the owner wasn't looking, I snuck over and stole two apples, and two peaches. 

"Hey! What do you think your doing missy?" 

Shit.

I smirked, hiding the fruit in my bag and holding up the hook. 

"What did ye say?" I asked, mimicking Harry's voice.

The stall owner held up their hands. "I-I'm sorry! I didn't realize you were one of Uma's crew! Please t-take this." The owner handed me a bag of money.

I smirked. "Thank ye very much. Uma will be very happy." I thanked and left. Of course I hit a few stands too, getting eggs, fabrics, and even some potatoes that didn't look too bad.

As I walked back into the apartment I began to sing a song from my world. 

"I need another story. Something to get off my chest. My life is kind of boring. Need something that I can confess." I sing as I set the fruit in a basket that was on the cracked kitchen counter.

"'Til all my sleeves are stained red. From all the truth that I've said. Come by it honestly I swear. Thought you saw me wink, no. I've been on the brink, so." I twirled, putting the eggs in the fridge.

Harry watched me with his brow raised, clearly confused by me.

"Tell me what you want to hear! Something that will light those ears! Sick of all the insincere! So I'm gunna give all my secrets away!" I sang smiling like an idiot.

"Lass. Whatcha singin? Never hear'd that song before." Harry questioned, taking his hook back.

"Its a song from my world." I explained, something I hadn't noticed was that the gold ring around my pupils was getting bigger, slowly covering up my {E/C} eyes.

"Hmm sounds interestin'. Although I much prefer yer voice over everythin'." Harry stated, pulling me close.

I giggled. "Come on Harry. If your feeling well enough to cuddle then you can come with me while I take the money I got to Uma." I stated, holding up the bag of money.

"How'd ya get that?" 

"The stall owners saw yer hook and got scared shitless." I admitted, smiling.

Harry smirked and pulled me close, kissing my head. "I love ye so much lass!" He said into my hair.

I giggled. "Come on my pirate. Let's go see Uma." I smiled.

We left the apartment and headed for Uma's place. The Chip Shop to be exact.

As we get closer I hear singing. 

"What's my name? What's my name?" 

"Not again." I groan.

"Hmm? What's up lass?" Harry asked, curious.

"Uma's singing her what's my name song again." I explained standing outside of the shop. Harry's eyes dilated and he almost seemed like a different person.

He walked right into the shop and started singing. Great. I walked in after him. Not paying any attention to Uma, Harry, or the crew. I sat with my back facing them and ordered a plate of fish. Gil was sitting next to me, clearly too busy eating his eggs to participate in the singing. 

"Gil. Why do you eat so much eggs? Don't you get sick of them?" I asked him as my food arrived.

"No! I gotta eat lots to be like my dad!" He said with his mouth full.

I rolled my eyes, then I noticed that Gil's blonde hair was getting in his eyes. I stole a brown bandana off of a patron and handed it to him. 

"Here Gil. Use this. It'll help you match with the rest of the crew, and you'll be able to eat, walk, fight, talk, etc without having your hair in your eyes." I smiled.

Gil smiled and proceeded to tie the bandana around his head. As he did this I smiled, eating my fish.

"So how is Harry? I heard his dad did that to him. Glad my dad isn't that abusive." Gil stated. His hair looking more "piratey".

I nodded, glancing over my shoulder for a second to see Uma giving the crew commands on how to do the moves properly to her song.

"It's my fault he got hurt tho. His dad saw me and Harry protected me." I explained, sighing a bit.

I pulled on my necklace. This was something I had from my world. The only family member that cared about me was my grandma. But she died when I was 6. The necklace was from her. I never understood why the charm was important,  I can't read the engraving on it, but it was a large coin shaped charm that was smaller than the size of my palm on a sturdy string necklace.. But I don't take it off. The engraving on it was something I gave up on decoding when I was 12.

"{Y/N}?" Gil asked, getting me out of my thoughts.

"Yes Gil?" I asked.

"Why are you playing with your necklace?" He asked me with a slight tilt to his head.

"Oh. This was a gift from my grandma, she was the last person to ever actually care about me in my world. I can't understand the engraving though." I admitted, feeling the text again.

"Oh? Maybe Harry can help. He's really good at deciphering stuff." Gil stated eating another egg.

 "Oh? He never told me that." I said as I looked over at Harry and Uma who were chatting about work and stuff. "I'm not going to bother him with it though." I muttered, before looking back at Gil.

"How have you been today Gil? I haven't seen you all day." I asked, tucking my necklace back under my shirt.

"Been fine. My brothers were jerks today. I got a couple of bruises on my back from them. But I managed to get this bandanna from a stall today! Thank you for helping me!" Gil exclaimed with an innocent smile.

This child doesn't deserve to be on this wretched island.

"Your brothers' are horrible. They are just AHHHHHH--!" I screamed, gripping my head as my eyes turned golden, such a bad headache.

"{Y/N}!!" Harry exclaimed, rushing over to me. 

I groaned. "I-I'm fine. Bad headache." I groaned out, looking up at Harry.

"Yer eyes, ther' golden." Harry exclaimed, amazed.

I frowned and rubbed at my eyes. Why are they fully golden? That never happens. I groaned again and squinted up at Harry, Gil, and Uma. When did I get on the ground.

"How'd I get down here?" I asked, the headache finally disappearing.

Gil's face got closer to mine. "Her eyes are back to normal!" Gil exclaimed.

Of course more crew members started gathering around. And I became flustered.

"I-I'm f-fine." I stuttered, my face turning red from embarrassment.

"Alright everyone back to work!" Uma commanded.

[eerie-qwq]

1. What is you middle name?

2. How old are you?

3. When is your birthday?

4. What is your zodiac sign?

5. What is your favorite color?

6. What’s your lucky number?

7. Do you have any pets?

8. Where are you from?

9. How tall are you?

10. What shoe size are you?

11. How many pairs of shoes do you own?

12. What was your last dream about?

13. What talents do you have?

14. Are you psychic in any way?

15. Favorite song?

16. Favorite movie?

17. Who would be your ideal partner?

18. Do you want children?

19. Do you want a church wedding?

20. Are you religious?

21. Have you ever been to the hospital?

22. Have you ever got in trouble with the law?

23. Have you ever met any celebrities?

24. Baths or showers?

25. What color socks are you wearing?

26. Have you ever been famous?

27. Would you like to be a big celebrity?

28. What type of music do you like?

29. Have you ever been skinny dipping?

30. How many pillows do you sleep with?

31. What position do you usually sleep in?

32. How big is your house?

33. What do you typically have for breakfast?

34. Have you ever fired a gun?

35. Have you ever tried archery?

36. Favorite clean word?

37. Favorite swear word?

38. What’s the longest you’ve ever gone without sleep?

39. Do you have any scars?

40. Have you ever had a secret admirer?

41. Are you a good liar?

42. Are you a good judge of character?

43. Can you do any other accents other than your own?

44. Do you have a strong accent?

45. What is your favorite accent?

46. What is your personality type?

47. What is your most expensive piece of clothing?

48. Can you curl your tongue?

49. Are you an innie or an outie?

50. Left or right handed?

51. Are you scared of spiders?

52. Favorite food?

53. Favorite foreign food?

54. Are you a clean or messy person?

55. Most used phrased?

56. Most used word?

57. How long does it take for you to get ready?

58. Do you have much of an ego?

59. Do you suck or bite lollipops?

60. Do you talk to yourself?

61. Do you sing to yourself?

62. Are you a good singer?

63. Biggest Fear?

64. Are you a gossip?

65. Best dramatic movie you’ve seen?

66. Do you like long or short hair?

67. Can you name all 50 states of America?

68. Favorite school subject?

69. Extrovert or Introvert?

70. Have you ever been scuba diving?

71. What makes you nervous?

72. Are you scared of the dark?

73. Do you correct people when they make mistakes?

74. Are you ticklish?

75. Have you ever started a rumor?

76. Have you ever been in a position of authority?

77. Have you ever drank underage?

78. Have you ever done drugs?

79. Who was your first real crush?

80. How many piercings do you have?

81. Can you roll your Rs?“

82. How fast can you type?

83. How fast can you run?

84. What color is your hair?

85. What color is your eyes?

86. What are you allergic to?

87. Do you keep a journal?

88. What do your parents do?

89. Do you like your age?

90. What makes you angry?

91. Do you like your own name?

92. Have you already thought of baby names, and if so what are they?

93. Do you want a boy a girl for a child?

94. What are you strengths?

95. What are your weaknesses?

96. How did you get your name?

97. Were your ancestors royalty?

98. Do you have any scars?

99. Color of your bedspread?

100. Color of your room?

Oh- sorry, didn't see this til now.. Hoh boy here goes

Jess

17

January 3rd

Capricorn

Indigo

12

3 turtle doves, a fantail pigeon and 2 cats

Ohio

5'7

9

Good question, let's go with 4

Death and Skyrim

Hm.. I can draw and write sometimes

I can see auras and am an empath, so there's that

I have like 600 of those but I can go with Welcome Home by Radical Face

Spirit: Stallion of the Cimarron and Coraline

A couple of sweethearts (@theconfusedleo)

Sure

Eh not big on churches but I wouldn't really mind

Kind of? I can pull things from various faiths, but looking more into spiritual things

A few times

Nope

Kind of

Hm baths

Grey and blue

Nope

Not really

All kinds. From folk to heavy metal

Nope

On one, 3 others, and some stuffed animals

On my side, usually curled up

Pretty small

I don't usually have breakfast, but my go-to would be cereal

I have

No, and I really want to

Defenestration

FUCK

Don't remember, but I've gone at least 3 days

Yep

I don't think so

Depends on why I'm lying and what I'm lying about, but I can be

For the most part, yes

Kind of, I'm decent at French and German, and stereotyped British

Nope

German

If you mean the MBTI thing, I'm an INFP-T

A Legend of Zelda Hoodie and an Adidas one, don't remember actual price

Yep

Innie

Right

Only a bit

Crab legs

Schnitzel

An odd mix of both

Does "I'm having a stroke" count?

Babey

10-15 minutes, normally

Not really

Cronch

Sometimes

Yes

Nnnope, I've been told I'm good though

Being left alone with it not being my choice

Within reason

Not really sure, Hidden Figures was pretty good, if that counts

I, myself like having short hair. For other people I kinda like long, but either way is fine

Nope

Art

Introvert

No

Everything, but mostly conflict between people

It depends, but lately, yeah

Yeah, but if they don't want me to, I won't

Yeahhh very

Nope

Not really

I've had like one sip of wine, wasn't bad but drinking seems kinda scary

No that scary

Someone I went to school with freshman year

Just my ears

No

Pretty fast

Bold of you to assume I run

Brown, kinda red in the sun

Brown

Pine, maybe bees

Kinda, I forget to write in it

Parents? Pfffffft

I have mixed feelings but it's alright

It takes a lot for me to get angry, so I'll go with 10 years of lying and being generally terrible

My given name isn't too bad, and I like the name I use irl too, which is actually Alex

I haven't, but I like older European names

I don't really have a preference, maybe boy though

I'm a natural leader and very patient

I am stubborn and sensitive

Not really sure about my birth name, but the name Alex, I gave myself cause it's neutral, sounds close to my given name and is just nice

I don't think so

Yep again

Don't use a bedspread currently, but I have a blanked with a grey and brown wolf on it and a pink one with feathers

Basic off-white, couple of tapestries on the walls and several dream catchers.

I did it yeyy, here you go

[jehannanmage]

get to know the blogger !

can be used for RP  and  non-RP blogs to get to know a bit about the person behind the screen.

1. name: Vicky 2. strange fact about yourself: I like to think of myself as p chill, but... I definitely used to be a really vindictive demon child. My way or the highway. My mum recalls a day where she made me mad and she woke up to me standing beside her bed, hands behind my back -- after coaxing my hands forth, she discovered I was holding scissors...

She just kinda went like. ok. weird. then later went to do laundry and found that her pillowcases had been cut up 8)

3. top 3 physical things you find attractive on a person: eyes, for sure. the way a person smiles. the back/shoulders maybe? Honestly never really thought about it ._. 4. a food you could eat forever and not get bored of: stirfry probably. Gimme that rice and veggies!! Veggiessss <3 OR PIZZA. PIZZZZAAAAAAAAAA 5. a food you hate: do iced cappuccinos count? yuck. failing that, i guess... peanut butter. 6. guilty pleasure: honestly anything??? I’m trying to learn to let go but I still can’t help feeling guilty whenever I’m not doing something productive. Which is so draining. Which doesn’t tend to lead toward future productivity, really. A nasty cycle, that. So. Like. Drawing. Writing. Comicking. Gaming. Cartoons. hhhhhhhhh 7. what do you sleep in: tee and PJ pants. My fave is probably my yellow tee with Trafalgar Law’s Heart Pirates jolly roger on it :3c I need to get some new stuff, all of mine has holes in it oTL haven’t found anything i like 8. serious relationships or flings: ehhh probably serious? Again, not something I’ve considered much of late either way. 9. if you could go back in the past and change one thing about your life, what would it be: egh... probably seeking solutions to both mental and physical health issues sooner rather than later. oops. (probably a lot easier to fix injuries n such Not 10 years after the fact.. aha..) 10. are you an affectionate person: hmm... probably just an average amount of affectionate? don’t mind it but don’t necessarily go out of my way, either. 11. a movie you could watch over and over again: i don’t watch movies much buuut... probably the first half of How To Train Your Dragon. It’s magical qwq 12. favourite book: god it’s been so long uh. I don’t think I have a favourite, you know, but the Elfstones of Shannara by Terry Brooks is probably close. 13. you have the opportunity to keep any animal as a pet, what would you choose: any animal, you say... snow leopards are hands down my fave < 3 but if we’re going more like, normal critters, I’ve always loved cats. I’d love to adopt another but not until I know I’m settled/able to provide. (In the meantime... I am fostering kitties/trying to help them along to their furever homes qvqb!!) 14. top 5 fictional ships: ehhhh. i don’t really. ship much. I dunno. /shrug I kinda like lukanette tho it’s just. warm. lessee. what else. matthew x leila I guess? I’m not ride or die for any ships, really. (Like!! I will gladly listen to friends talk about the merits of their OTPs and don’t get me wrong, I love romance stuff-- but I've never really gone out of my way to hc pairings /shrug) 15. pie or cake: both. gimmme. (unless it’s sugar pie, then, That.) 16. favourite scent: freshly cut wood, or a nice fire burning in the pit in the backyard... the ocean breeze... my neighbours barbecuing delicious foodstuffs... vanilla... ;v; bliss 17. celebrity crush: don’t care much ‘bout celebrities :v younger me used to think matt dallas from kyle xy was p dang attractive tho. (why did they cancel it aaaaaa) 18. if you could travel anywhere, where would you go: anywhere and everywhere!! I’ think I’d like to go to Europe next, maybe backpack across it or smth. I’d love to do a Visit Friends tour of the US at some point. And I really really wanna go back to Japan, too. The world is so vast though... cool stuff to see everywhere. 19. introvert or extrovert: introverted? far less than I used to be but still nowhere near extroverted. 20. do you scare easily: eh. so-so.  21. iphone or android: iphone for now. probably trying android next phone I get though. . . 22. do you play any video games: yes. gimme them JRPGs. and smash bros. aaaaaaaa fight me 23. dream job: hahahahahhah dream job would be Not Having to Work 8) Nah but, definitely something in the creative field. That’s what all the career quizzes say i would need to feel happy and fulfilled, anyway <w< If I ever got off my butt and got good enough to make a living off my stories, comics or otherwise, that’d be the dream. Honestly, I don’t know what the future holds for me and at this point I’m almost scared to ask/find out! 24. what would you do with a million dollars: pay off my student loans, help my fam a bit, invest the vast majority!! (and later, I’d love to donate to causes I support), travel a bit!!! or a lot!! go back to school???? buy So Many damn commissions of my OCs, and... welllll... if I need to pay to get someone who will actually Help me with my injuries n mental health, then, that!!! Being pain free would be amazing. 25. fictional characters you hate: i don’t think i hate any characters? I tend to like a lot of the snarkier ones, aheh; 26. fandom that you were once apart of but aren’t any longer: fandoms are Scary 8) why can’t peeps just be nice to each other jkkhjakk;aasfd (that is to say, I don’t usually partake -- ferp stuffs is probably the most i’ve done so)

tagged by: :v tagging: anyone!

[lovetvshowsposts]

A Variro Story CH 1

Description: Varian (Tangled the Series) is a transfer from Germany and new to San Fransokyo and the Institute of Technology and the second 14-year-old to be inducted in the school.  He tries to keep things under control, so people won’t find out his secret.  Hiro can handle being a student and hero but now with these unknown feelings and them being toward the new guy he doesn’t quite know what to do. (I swear the story is better than the description) AU (Hiro X Varian=Variro)

This story is based off of Tumblr user @sinningcookie ship of Hiro and Varian (Variro).  Be sure to check out the art that has been done of these two it’s amazing.  If I was good at drawing, I would have made a Variro comic but here is the story of how the two meet, become boyfriends and each other’s heroes.  Complete AU from both of the series but they are represented in ways throughout this story.  

<> 

Beep beep! Beep beep!

Eyes open slowly at the sound of an annoying noise as it continues to sound.  Until they land upon the source.  The clock says 7:45AM making the eyes shoot right open.  “Ah no, I’m going to be late!!”  shouts Hiro as he jumps out of bed grabbing papers and cloths as he looks for his backpack.  He finds it hanging on his chair and starts to stuff everything into it, which makes the chair roll right onto his foot. “Ow!” He hops backwards to his bed holding his foot.

The beeping from the other side of the room drew his attention.  Baymax opens his eyes to see all of Hiro’s room and the state he was in. He steps out of his charging port and goes to Hiro.  “Hiro on a scale of one to ten how would you rate your pain?”  he proceeds to show the chart on his chest.

“I don’t have time Baymax, I’m late!!  Hiro quickly gets up and starts to get dressed.  “Why didn’t you wake me up, anyway? The emergency alarm had to wake me.”

“The average amount of sleep the human body needs is eight hours.  You went to bed at two AM by my calculations you need another two hours to function properly.”

“I know Baymax, but I have papers, projects and classes that need to be done.” Hiro argues as he finishes tying his shoe, he gets up and sprints for the stairs.  As he was about to leave, Hiro remembers to grab his bag and Baymax in tow.

<> 

The Lucky Cat Café was as busy as usual for a Monday morning.  All the tables were packed as Aunt Cass tries to cut time by loading up a tray full of coffees and pastries.  She walks past the doorway that leads to their upstairs living quarters.

Hiro comes out of nowhere, yelling “Bye Aunt Cass.  Sorry no hugs, I’m late.”  Running right by his aunt who is able to dodge him, but once Baymax bumps into her she begins to fall, just taking the tray with her, until a helpful hand saves the both of them.

“Woah that would have been a disaster.  Are you ok?” a feminine voiced stranger says as she helps pick up the tray and Aunt Cass.

“Yeah I’m fine but when you have a nephew; somethings can go crazy.  Ah thank you…”  Aunt Cass looks to the young lady that was in front of her as she is helped up.  She wore black boots that led to grey skinny jeans.  They were held with a brown belt with the most peculiar belt buckle; a circle with three lines on it.  As she is still being lifted Cass see a maroon shirt that was tucked in and a black leather jacket covering the rest of the stranger.  Cass’s finally helped all the way up get the reveal of the stranger’s face seeing pale skin, dark pink lips, hazel eyes and raven hair that is in a bob-cut of layers with grey highlights.  Which Aunt Cass thought had to be the girl’s choice of dying it because the stranger seems to be the age of 23.  And that much grey hair on her did not seem natural.  

The stranger finally offers her name.  “Cassandra, and I kind of am going to be going through the same thing as I watch my friends’ kid.”  Cassandra fully gives control to the tray back to Aunt Cass, as she walks to drop off coffee and pastries at tables.  

“Ah, are you new here?  I haven’t seen you around.”  Cass asks as Cassandra follows her.

“No, I’ve lived here for a while and have heard about your place.  But I’m just not really a coffee person.”

Cass asks bewildered “Then what brings you in?” as she sets the last pastry down.

“You evidently have a tea other places don’t carry that helps my friend’s kid calm down. With it being his first day at a new school, he’s a bit nerves so…” Cassandra was cut off by a long car honk that came from outside.

“Speak of the devil.  That’s him now, can I get a large?”

“Say no more; I’m on it.”  Aunt Cass proceeds to make the tea as quickly as she could.

<> 

“Alright, Baymax, I’ll be back after classes.  The others might drop by throughout the day.  See ya!! Hiro says as he closes the door to Tadashi’s lab and runs to Professor Granville’s class.  He makes it through the door before he could be marked late.

“You; barley made it, Mr. Hamada.  Note; being punctual will help you be able to keep a job in the future, even if you are working for yourself.”  Professor Granville states as she pulls her lecture up on to the screen.

Hiro lets out a relived breath as he walks to his seat.  He pulls out his notebook and pencil for the lecture.  The class was going normally until almost the end of class.  There was a knock at the classroom door.  Everyone looks to Professor Granville.  She looks to the door window.

“Ah yes, come on in Mr. Müller.”  The whole class had their eyes on the door as it slowly opens.  A young boy walks to Professor Granville.  Hiro too, stares as the guy walks by.  Noting of what he could see, the student wore many layers of baggy clothes all consisting of teal and black.

A teal beanie sat on his shaggy black hair.  His bangs covered a majority of his face.  But one strand stood out because it was blue.  He held a few notebooks in one hand against his chest and a plastic cup in the other.  Hiro took a closer look to see the logo.  It was from the Lucky Cat Café.  Hiro’s scrutinizing gaze was broken when Granville spoke; “Now class, I don’t normally introduce new students, but this is Varian Müller a 14-year-old transfer from Germany.  As you can see, he doesn’t quite know campus so if one of you could show him around?” She looks around the room to see if anyone will volunteer.  Instead of volunteering everyone starts whispering.

Hiro looks around making out some of the whispering conversations that were: “He’s young.” “Is his look a fashion statement?” “Why did he transfer?”  “What’s his major.”  He then looks back to Varian to sees the guy was shrinking in on himself and the cups contents he was holdings was swishing around a bit.  Hiro noted probably from being nervous.

Just as Professor Granville was about to speak a happy go lucky “I’ll do it!” came from Hiro’s right. He looked over to see Karmi the 18-year-old bio-tech prodigy.  She was all to giddy to be the guide this new kid. No doubt to find out what he studies, or he must be new competition for her.  Hiro thought as he watches her head to the front of the room.

“Thank you Karmi. Alright class that is all for today’s lesson don’t forget to do pages nine though thirteen of your textbooks.” Granville states as class is dismissed.

<> 

“Argh; finally; the hard part of my day is over!!”  Hiro reports as he enters the lab hands full of his textbooks and new project parts.  He sets them down on the closest table knocking some other papers and blueprints over to the already messy floor.  He wipes his forehead with his jacket sleeve as he looks around the room seeing Fred laying upside down on a chair reading a comic as Baymaxs watches.  

All of a sudden Fred pops up saying “Hey!  What about this; could a person survive a blast of magma from there hands?” asks Fred excitedly.  

“The probability of magma emanating from a person’s hands is nonexistent they would suffer from third degree burns from the surrounding tissue and…”

Baymax was cut off when Wasabi, Honey Lemon and Gogo all barged into the lab. “Did you hear about the new guy!” Squeals Honey Lemon. “I heard he was too smart for his old school so that why he’s here.”

“Yeah this kid’s got a so many awards he’s probably going to win all the ones here.” Wasabi chimes in.”

“I heard he is an alien from the planet Malgo an here to suck out our brains!”  Fred says enthusiastically as he walks over to Gogo trying to scary her.

“No.” Voices Gogo as she stops him from getting closer by putting her hand on his chest.

“Freddy were you feeling left out because you don’t know what we’re talking about?” implies Honey Lemon.

“Yes; No; Maybe?” Fred shrinks down after each word knowing his guess were way off.  Which made everyone silent until Gogo announces “I just heard he was from Germany.”

“Wait you guys are talking about the transfer uh Varian…uh…Varian Miller.”  

“It’s pronounced Mueller since he’s from Germany Hiro.”  Politely corrects Honey Lemon.

“Whatever he’s Karmi’s new competition so I don’t care what his name is.” Hiro starts to dig through a box of parts to get started on a project.

“Oh, so you didn’t hear?” States Gogo as she crosses her arms.

“Hear what?” Hiro looks to his friends in confusion while he was still digging.  Fred shrugs because he is just as much in the dark as he is.

“Karmi released a whole report about this kid.  Its on the schools blog.”  Wasabi pulls out his phone and shows Hiro.  The screen shows a quick snapshot of the kid trying to block the camera with his fingerless gloved hands.  With the title New Prodigy Hits Campus!  Before he could read anymore Wasabi took it away saying.  “It says the kid went to Berlin’s Institute of Technology our number one competitor.  He’s won all sorts of awards.  Until a mysteries accident caused half the school to be decommissioned.  He’s now here to continue his studies.”

“Did he actually tell Karmi this?”  Hiro asks as he pulls out the tool he was looking for.

“I don’t think so. I saw Karmi in the library on the computer.” Gogo says as she blows a bubble from her gum.  Hiro walks over to some parts that he has on a table and starts his project.

“What I’m shocked is he’s majoring in Chemical Engineering and Robotics.  Two majors is suicide at this school!”

As soon as the word Robotics left Honey Lemons mouth, he froze.  “What is he majoring?”

She repeats herself “Chemical Engineering and Robotics.”

“Ha looks like you finally have some competition man.”  Fred blurts out.  They all start to continue to talk about the new guy which seems to just fade to a hum to Hiro as things were swimming around his mind.  He puts his tools down and walks to the door.  “I’m going to go get some gummy bears I’ll be right back.”  If his face gave away sign of irritation his friends didn’t see it as they said see ya and went back to their conversation.  But Baymax knew and he follows Hiro.

“Hiro my scans indicate that you are slightly irritated.  What is irritating you?”  Baymax asks.

“Nothing buddy just got a lot on my mind.”  He says subdued until he states, “But not as much as that new guy I bet he won’t be able to last a week handling such difficult classes.”  Brightening his spirits as he walks to the vending machine.

Two Weeks Later…

“Man did you hear Varian made a…”

“That kid is smarter than anyone here.”

“Varian just combined a …”

“Varian”

“Varian”

“Varian”

“Aaaaaa” Shouts Hiro as he slams his head on the table. “Make it stop!” he muffles.

“Hey, did you hear…” Fred asks till he is cut off by Hiro.

“YES, I heard he made a unstoppable robot, he is smarter than anyone else here, I even heard that he is the cutest one here.  And I’m here to say; I have had enough.  I’m going to challenge him to show this nerd school who is the true prodigy of SFIT!”  Hiro stomps out of the lab Baymax following behind him.

“I was just going to say they had free tacos at the cafeteria.”  Fred announces to an empty lab as he takes a bite out of one of his tacos.

[theparanormalperiodical]

Scary Halloween Costumes: Your Guide To Realistic and Really Spooky Costumes (On A Budget)

“In the real world, Halloween is when kids dress up in costumes and beg for candy. 

In Girl World, Halloween is the one day a year when a girl can dress up like a total slut and no other girls can say anything else about it”

Set your stop watches people - we’ve got 11 days to prepare for the most wonderful time of the year: Halloween. 

And despite the cultural traditions echoing across the world, there is one phenomenon that dominates the rest.

Halloween costumes. 

It’s the personalised touch Christmas loses out on, and it's the one day of the year we can awaken our inner child.

And no, I don’t mean the therapeutic kind where you get in touch with your real, raw self. I mean the inner child that wants to pull on a Pennywise cosplay and eat an unrealistic amount of processed crap.

Working out your halloween costume requires thought and consideration. And then giving up on creating a latex prosthetic and slapping on a pair of cat ears. 

But at the Paranormal Periodical, we like to do things a bit different.

If you like things spooky and you’re a bit skint, pull up a chair - welcome to your complete guide to realistic halloween costume ideas!

Every year we see the classic costumes: a witch in a black hat; a vampire sporting a single drop of fake blood on the lip; and a zombie with a scrape of blood down one arm. 

I’ve decided to shake shit up. 

I’ve taken the most common costumes, and gone back to the roots of the creatures. Yep, I’m rewriting halloween, and putting scary back on the menu!

So, if you’re considering being a witch, vampire, zombie, or mermaid, here is your guide to the realistic costumes.

Let’s get spooky!

The Witch

It’s a classic.

It’s the go-to option for women, merely requiring a pointy hat you can grab from Claire’s, and the clothes from your goth phase when you were 14.

Add a smudge of black eyeshadow, practice a cackle, and boom.

You just got halloweened. 

But actual witches from way-back-when weren’t so Instagram.

In fact, they were considered the worst kind of women: hag-like, old, ugly, disgusting women. If you can think up a trope for a stereotypically ugly woman - which isn’t necessarily true, I mean, people rock unibrows every damn day - then put it in your costume.

Back in the 1640s, witches were considered poor, crone-like women. That’s a moustache, wrinkles, hairy brows, squinted eyes, and crooked teeth.

Also, they had teats! No, that’s nothing to do with their actual nipples, you won’t have to do anything to your own.

Basically, a point of ID for a witch was a devil’s mark - that’s scars, pimples, birthmarks - anything which symbolised their pact with the devil. Or, they had extra nipples which their animal sidekicks would suckle from.

Speaking of scars, if a witch pricked her finger, and it didn't bleed, the subject was a witch fo sho. And if they placed their hands on a dead body that they had killed, the body would start to bleed.

The final trademark fashion statement comes from one of the witch tests: dunking.

Aside from being stripped to her scanties, the witch’s thumb was tied to her big toe and a rope was cinched around her waist. She was chucked into a body of water - if she floated, she was a witch! If she sunk, she would die!

Yeah, it’s not a good test.

So, how does all that shizz translate to a costume?

Here’s how:

For the signature makeup, go with a heavy brow, and dark, eyelined eyes to perfect the squint.

Then, fake scar it up. I’m talking dots of red on your hands, maybe draw a pink circle on your face for a nipple, and slash a lipstick scratch up your arm.

Or, ditch the red dots on your hands for literal red hands - just like the blood pouring out of your victim’s body. It could be fake blood, it could be red nails, it could even be patches of dark reddy-brown!

Whatever it is, finish the look with the iconic style of a witch:

Follow up with the fashion twist on a black pointy hat, tie a rope around your waist to give shape to the look, and tie some wool or string around your fingers.

That’s right; accessorise your way to authenticity.

The Vampire

This is the unisex approach to halloween.

Couple of drips of fake blood, maybe an Edward Cullen inspired quiff - anything can be a costume if its teamed up with the im-100-years-old-but-look-17-so-its-not-creepy smoulder.

But there’s a lot more to the vampire phenomenon that didn’t make it into Nosferatu, nor Twilight.

Vampires were popularised in the 19th century, so most of their style inspo was based on Victorian vibes. But in terms of their bodies and faces, there are some striking features you need to know about:

Vampires were often regarded as have bloated faces and bodies, and ruddy looking skin; these are the supposed effects of blood drinking.

And this blood was also believed to seep out of the mouth - and the nose. But fangs? They were rarely reported.

These features from past vampire sightings have been typically debunked via two explanations: the disease, Poryphoria, a group of diseases which cause blistering and itching in sunlight, and the past’s lack of knowledge regarding decomposition.

So, fancy reworking your Edward Cullen into something a little less up-to-date?

Here’s what you need to do:

Take your fangs and fake blood stash from last year, and do the classic drip from the lip look.

But this time, smear a little under your nose, too. 

Speaking of facial features, it’s time to get ruddy - that means giving yourself a flushed look. So, grab some blush - reddy, pink tones, only - and go to town. I’d suggest a patchy look for the deathy vibes.

And make sure you leave your contouring kit in your make-up bag - aim for a bloated, round-faced look. Or, opt for loose clothes or something baby bump-esque to bloat out your half-dead body.

To finish the look, dab on some liquid latex and pull apart to give wrinkly, blistery skin in patches. You can even check out my tips for being a zombie to ensure you achieve the death you aim for!

The Zombie

In more recent years, this has become to go-to for quick costumes, thanks to show like The Walking Dead.

But it’s not the easy part of the look that I love, it’s this: a zombie is an inclusive halloween costume. 

Anyone can do it. 

You can pull out your FX make-up stash to show your skull’s skin peeling off and limb rotting, or simply pull a face and make a groaning noise.

You don’t even have to buy new clothes! Put on your usual get up, and stick your arms out like a Mummy.

#nailedit

But - if you’re asking me - achieving the realistic death look isn’t an expensive or difficult feat.

Zombies are supposed to be the undead; they’re infected and they’re decaying. 

So, let’s go through some of the features of slowly rotting corpses:

A few minutes into death - aside from going cold, and going pale - cells begin to die and leak as they breakdown. Couple hours after the beginning of that process, things start to get shitty...

Yep, piss and poop just start leaking out ya body.

Then, your skin starts to sag, leaving it pale with red patches. Then, that skin shrinks, making your hair and nails appear as if they are growing.

Following this, your skin turns green as you begin to digest your organs. Then bugs, like maggots, take part in consuming your body.

It’s not long before you turn purple, lose hair, and slowly become a skeleton.

And there you have it.

#decayed

Question is, how can achieve this look?

Settle in folks, and let’s get dead.

(Oh, and I can assume you don’t want to be a skeleton with purple skin draping on your bones; so let’s cut to the early effects!)

To get your undead chic on, here’s what’s on your to-do list:

For ya face, make things red and patchy with a dab of red lipstick smudged around your visage. Oh, and don’t forget to moisturise and highlight - think less leaking cells, more dewy finish.

A few patches of grotesque green will further the final look. You could even put gel on the ends of your hair to make it seem wet, or longer, and define your fingernails with brown eyeshadows.

Yep, start contouring your nails - let’s start a #trend. 

Ready to take things to the next level? Cut some gummy worms up, and latex ‘em to your face.

Et voila, ya ded. 

The Mermaid

Our final option is the current Insta-fave.

Joining the ranks of the pastel-aesthetic is the glittery, highlighted-on-fleek mermaid.

But why be pretty, when you can be pretty damn realistic?

Fact is, nothing is more realistic - and scary - than climate change. So, it follows that any mermaid will probably be struggling in the plastic-filled hot tub that is the ocean.

It’s time to swap the dewy, contoured fish finish for an actual mermaid. Or, well, a dead one.

Typically, a dead human who had been left in the ocean would have several zombie-like characteristics that would be exacerbated by the sea water.

Your body breaks down much more slowly in water, and salt water - like sea water - would slow the decaying process even more so. A body left in the ocean for 2 weeks will look the same as one left in open air for a week!

So, that’s the red, patchy, dewy finish we already discussed with zombies.

And instead of the pruning you get in a bubble bath, imagine blistering, black skin. Plus, that skin also becomes swollen, and bleached, giving you the bloated, patchy glow that you don’t see in The Little Mermaid.

Oh, and don’t forget your body!

Thanks to accumulating gases, the abdomen swells from bloating. 

Fun fact: this is what makes corpses turn upside down and rise with the torso and head at the water’s surface!

So, are you ready to get your mermaid on?

Swap your Ariel wig and beachy waves for patchy, red and green skin, and use latex to create blistered, wrinkled skin in patches.

Simply follow my tips for a go-to zombie look, and like, make it wetter.

Don’t forget to stuff a jumper down your shirt to puff out your abdomen - bonus points for farting out those gases filling out your torso.

Now, go get your fish on!

So: which supernatural being are you vibing with this All Hallows’ Eve?

And which of your past halloween costumes have you been most proud of?

(Mine was my Man-Spider costume from last year...)

[phantomphangphucker]

Wes Plays Match Maker - Phic Phight

Prompt Creator: @deredereart Prompt: After meeting Dani and finding out Vlad is a ghost, Wes’ theories about Phantom seem less absurd to Valerie than before. Summary: Valerie steals Wes's binder and has some questions

Warning: mentions of the violence Dan did

Danny Fenton is minding his own business when someone slams an overfilled stripped black and white binder with notes, pictures and papers sticking out of it at odd ends; onto the table. Danny blinks at it a bit before putting down his milkshake and lifting his head up. “Uh, hey Val? What’s with the binder? That’s a little disorganised for you”, Danny can’t help but smile at her. Valerie gives him a soft but silly smile as she sits down. She jabs a finger on the cover of the binder and says, “Phantom, you damn moron”.

Danny coughs a little bit before composing himself, “um what? Either somehow Phantom turned himself into a kind of sad looking binder or I’m really confused”. Valerie laughs while shaking her head, putting a hand over her face “you are scary good at making up shit in the spot, you know that?”. Then after lowering her hand as Danny chuckles a little, “so I was sitting in class today and that Wes kid is going off with his conspiracy again. But you know what, Danny?”. Danny can’t help but groan and shuffle his feet nervously, “that kid is quite the loony handful isn’t he? And what?”. Valerie smirks, “yeah his theories were pretty crazy and him screaming like a madman doesn’t help. He had a giant bell today to draw attention to himself”. By the time Valerie’s done speaking Danny’s head is on the table and he’s laughing his ass off. Functionally killing his nerves. “I could live with that if he stopped trying to dump white paint and flour on me, he’s wrecked almost half my shirts at this point”, Danny is muffled by the table top.

Valerie nods, “yeah that’s pretty extreme, plus it’s kind of a dick move to be trying to out you like that anyways”. Danny chuckles, “yeah tell me about- wait, what?”. Danny lifts his head up off the table and gives her a puzzled look, just barely concealing his worry. Valerie taps on the binder, “I lifted this off Wes, with all this shit I think the only reason no ones realised is because no one thinks it’s possible”.

“Uh”, is all Danny can think of saying at the moment, he really has no clue what in all Wes has on him. Valerie chuckles lightly and leans her face down to Danny’s, which is only a little bit off the table, facing her. “After meeting Dani I saw Vlad do his whole transformation bit. And you know what?”

“Uh, what?”, Danny makes a point to sound completely confused. Valerie rolls her eyes at his fake confusion, “well half ghosts are real, Dani looks like and is the cousin of Phantom. So...”. Danny tried to look even more confused and is completely panicked at this point, “pretty sure Phantom doesn’t have a cousin”. Is all he gives as a response hoping that by not lying he’ll seem more believable. Valerie leans back and shakes her head at him while smiling, “pretty sure you both said you’re cousins and you know you could have just told me you moron. You were right, there’s no way I could fight or kill something that’s even part human. You included”.

Danny sits up right and rubs his neck, “well alright then...”. Valerie laughs loudly, “seriously? How was I supposed to not put it together. Danny, the minute I found out half ghost were a thing it was pretty hard not to wonder about Phantom. And then with Vlad? Who doesn’t bother changing his first name? Come on Danny?”. Danny throws his hands up dramatically but whispers, “I was 14, never claimed to be creative”. Valerie rolls her eyes, “so...”.

Danny smack his head as he clues in that she’s trying to get him to admit to it, “I’m not much of one for secret telling, Val. But yeah, ok, I’m Phantom”. Valerie smiles softly as Danny rubs his neck looking away from her, “finally, and Danny? Fenton, Phantom? Those sound so similar, at least Masters and Plasmius sound wildly different”. Danny shrugs, “I’m a punny man, I couldn’t resist. But you’re not mad?”.

Valerie rolls her eyes, “I’m not happy but no I’m not mad. I wish you had told me on your own, in the beginning I get you lying cause we weren’t friends in any way. But then we dated and the whole truce with Phantom happened, so why?”. Danny shrugs, sipping his drink a bit before responding, “like I said I’m not much of a secret teller, hell I’ve never actually told anyone. All the people who know either knew from the start or stumbled on it on their own”. Valerie looks a little shocked at this but she understands it, “well I would have trusted you once I knew but I do need to know why you attacked my suit. Did you know I wasn’t in there?”. Danny nods at her, “yeah, Technus was.  I knew it wasn’t you Val. I would never fight you full force like that”. Valerie smirks, “good and honestly, I could tell you were never fully trying. I used to take that as an insult”. Danny blinks a couple times before looking sheepish.

Valerie thinks for a second and furrows her brows, “you said from the beginning, earlier, there’s no way you’ve always been half ghost so, like, what the hell Danny?”. Danny raises an eyebrow and laughs, “you’re asking for my superhero origin story?”. Valerie sighs and facepalms, “you can be so awful but yes, yes I am. And I guess you really are, aren’t you?”. Danny shrugs, “well powers, I fight crime, save the city, even the world once or twice. So yeah I’d say superhero fits. Jazz even likes to say I have a hero complex”. Danny shakes his head and chuckles before continuing, “but to put it really simply my parents built a ghost portal, it didn’t work. I went inside it, accidentally turned it on, got half killed. Sam and Tuck where there, lots of screaming”. Valerie looks shocked and a bit disturbed, “that, that was incredibly dumb of you. Also, that sounds horribly painful”. Danny nods frowning, “well the entirety of the ghost zone basically electrocuted me, so yeah. It hurt. I was Phantom when I fell out of the portal, we all thought I was flat out dead till I changed back. And at least I thought the thing didn’t and couldn’t work. Vlad thought the college mini portal would work and yet he still shoved his head in it just as it was turned on”. Valerie facepalms again while grimacing, “ok yeah that’s even more stupid. But that must have been terrifying Danny”.

Danny nods, “once we figured out I wasn’t actually dead, it was sorta ok. More worried about my parents at that point. Now them trying to kill me or dissect me all the time has just become the butt of a joke!” Danny laughs pretty loudly while Valerie looks horrified.

“Danny what! That is so very stupid. I’d say you should tell them but unlike me, I don’t think they’ve ever cooperated with any ghost or half ghost”, Valerie shakes her head as Danny laughs a bit more. Danny sighing, “they’ve cooperated with Phantom once or twice. But even though I know they’ll accept me, I’d rather not deal with them going all scientist on me or trying to “fix me” either”. Valerie nods, totally getting it, “yeah I wouldn’t want my dad trying to change me so I guess I get it. That’s why I was so mad when you revealed me that time, not cool by the way”.

Danny rubs his neck, “yeah, I didn’t really have time to waste and I couldn’t let you take the battle suit. I’m pretty much the only person who could use that thing without dying. Well fully dying”. Valerie responds with an eyebrow raised, “was it really that bad?”.

“Yes, it nearly fully killed me as it was. Any normal human would have died and failed to seal Pairah away again”. Valerie slugs him in the shoulder, “so you almost killed yourself? Christ Danny you dumbass. But I guess there really wasn’t any other way”. Shaking her head, “you’re not all powerful, so maybe ask for help next time?”. Valerie is kind of surprised when Danny starts laughing so hard that he tears up a little, “Val, um you’re kind of wrong on that. If I had wanted to 14 year old me could have destroyed the entire world in the span of 10 years. Hell, that actually happened until I fucked around with the time stream. And that timelines me is actually weaker than I am now, he didn’t even have ice powers”. Valerie is gapping like a fish, “what? You were supposed to destroy the world? What the fuck?”. Danny rubs his neck, “yeah if you want the rundown, because I’m pretty much over the trauma of it at this point. All my family and friends died in an explosion, Vlad adopted me, ripped out my humanity and the ghost me ripped out Vlad’s humanity, the ghost me fused with Vlad’s ghost, murdered human me and then spent the next 10 years mass killing every human and ghost. As well as destroying all the buildings, he threw tanks at people while laughing”. Valerie looks completely freaked out, “what the fuck Danny, that-that is completely awful”. Danny nods looking a little uncomfortable, “yeah and it was a pretty big mind fuck going to that future just as he was trying to destroy Amity. You were there and called young me or me from the past, cute after I saved you from being killed by the evil me. Who’s called Dan by the way”. Valerie shakes her head, “well you are still cute Danny but how the hell did you even stop this future from happening?”. Danny laughs a little, “well Dan came to my, at the time, present and pretended to be me so he could basically murder my friends and family to make sure I became him. But I went and fist fought him, I totally lost but this time ghost saved them and reversed time. He basically pushed restart and thus made it so that I could avoid everyone dying. Dan still exists though, just outside of time having a time out in a thermos”. Valerie shakes her head, “that is ridiculous, well don’t ever go evil”. Danny laughs, “I don’t intend to”.

Valerie shakes herself off, “on a lighter note, you really should look”. Valerie shoves the binder at Danny. While Danny flips through the pages he can’t help but shake his head, “I think Sam and Tuck need costumes or something. At least he’s never caught me mid-transformation”. Valerie chuckles as Danny closes the book, “I know most of it is easy to dismiss but you really should be more careful, you dumbass. Also yeah, costumes is a good idea”. While Valerie’s been talking Danny has gotten an idea, “hey Val? Does he know you have this?”. As Valerie shakes her head Danny grins, sticking his hand in the binder he ectoblasts the contents to smithereens. Valerie jumps a little and glares at him before laughing, “I’m not sure whether that’s smart or just petty Danny”.

After Danny finishes his shake the two go for a walk, “so Danny, now that I know my lifestyle isn’t a danger to you and that you’re being honest. Want to try the whole us thing again?”. Danny grins widely, “absolutely”. Then smirking to himself, “Paulina would totally be jealous”. Valerie shakes her head, “I’m not telling her I’m dating Phantom you moron”. Danny smacks her playfully, “Val think. Valerie and Danny date, Red and Phantom date”. Valerie starts laughing and Danny joins in, Valerie says through her laughter, “Wes is going to have a heart attack”.

“Good!”

End.

[diss-track]

15 questions, 15 mutuals (I sure ain't have that)

Tagged by @casketlocks

(Ain't do this in forever)

I'll tag random people I have interacted with or have interacted with me and I want to know better soooooo...

I tag: @jen-is-himbo (it still won't let me tag you), @ain-elohim , @pureeviilandhate , @daruncic , @spooksthedead , @wiitchez-x (I'm not sure if I got the URL right but won't pop up at all), @juuling-and-schooling , @joranenagaaran , @tomoyo-h .... IDK who else so yea

1. Are you named after anyone?

Nope my mom got my name from a baby book in the year 2000 (ain't a common name tho)

2. When was the last time you cried?

Um uhh I don't cry too much unless I'm angry and that was IDK maybe a few weeks ago? IDK

3. Do you have kids?

N o n e-------unless you can count my cat as one

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

No I'm too straight forward with shit I can't even joke. Got told a joke today and I took it seriously (back to day zero on that)

5. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their height usually. I can identify a lot of heights accurately (safety and fighting reasons-what if I gotta fight that person idk but don't worry I don't cause trouble)

6. What's your eye color?

Really dark brown, almost near black in some angles (to me that's cool and sexy as fuck brown eyed folks where ya at)

7. Scary movie or happy ending?

Scary movie. Always, I can't get enough of it.

8. Any special talents?

I'm a fast learner when it comes to most things (if it will benefit me for sure or helps someone else). I can lick my elbow due to my long neck. I can come up with random lyrics or poetry always after I shower. I can think of random things but there is always a reason behind it.

9. Where were you born?

Right here in the Midwest, I ain't gon say the state, too personal.

10. What are your hobbies?

Shiiii writing poetry, lyrics, sometimes stories, photo shopping, video editing, day dreaming, going outside for a simple walk, and sometimes I play various video games on my Nintendo DS/3DS or Xbox 360. I used to do sewing, crocheting, making friendship bracelets, and drawing in my free time but... eh

11. Do you have any pets?

Yea just my bebby Sharif... right now she is on my bed as I blast music in my ears. She is curled up in a tight ball partially covering her face... yall don't know how much I love her she is the best cat we have ever had.

12. What sports do you play/have you played?

I could play anything growing up (except kickball and slowly sports that involved balls cause I'd get hit with them). I have done two years of track and field doing sprinting and I got on varsity my 3rd year of high school. I also liked playing this "kid friendly" version of dodge ball that was called "oskee"?? I'd avoid the game the whole time giving people balls to hit with, I'd yell "WHO WANTS A MEAT BALL" with a goofy Italian accent then boom I'd be the last one on my team and I'd have to try to get everyone back in the game (as boys tried to throw balls at me hard as FUCK and I dodged that shit like I was in the Matrix). Call me a demon but I did not mind the national fitness pacer test (American standardised physical testing for non Americans) or any of those tests and I did better than all the girls every single time (except that stretch shit my ham strings were tight as fuck but not anymore). I'd at least do 30-50 laps before I just died. I also enjoyed doing 2 years of weight lifting in high school. I've also done a year of martial arts (still practice it when I'm angry). So I'm a pretty fit person but hard to tell when I can just sleep all day.

13. How tall are you?

Actually like 5'3 and something but it's so close to 5'4 I just round it to that.

14. Dream job?

Being a pathologist because I've always been fascinated with bodies and how people have died either from being killed, diseases, illnesses, the process of what a dead body goes through, etc. Yall prolly can not tell in the midst of my goofy shit posts that I really got a passion for some intricate things- I hate to brag on how well I did academically and shit.

15. Favorite subject at school?

About any extracurricular class I had was my favorite. My most favorite was my science classes (chemistry and human anatomy & physiology) and of course English.

[i-rove-rock-n-roll]

28 questions tag

Sweet! I’m feeling pretty crappy (thanks to a stupid virus going around) and all I’m getting from my brain is like that really annoying screechy sound when you boot up a dial up computer. Anyway, since I apparently won’t be getting anything done today (writing/drawing/etc) Answering stuff is the way I’m going! 

@thecadmiuminkwell Thanks for the tag! ☮💙

1. How tall are you?

5′2 (I’m shorter than you, caddie. Actually, no caddie sounds dumb @thecadmiuminkwell)

2. What color and style is your hair?

brown and bleh. Like some days it likes to do a soft curl and then other times it likes to play dead. I need to get a trim. 

3. What color are your eyes?

hazel/ green/gray. idk man. I can’t see em. 

4. Do you wear glasses?

yup. and contacts with them cause I make bats look like they got 20/20 vision. 

5. Do you wear braces?

Nope. Did once. It sucked.

6. What is your fashion style?

like the past 4-5 decades threw up. I have clothes from 70′s-today. I am not hip, or fashionable, or up with the times though. 

7. Full name?

Ain’t getting me that easily internet (sorry, curious peeps) but if you want a name, you can call me A. (thinking about that being my pen name initial). 

8. When were you born?

Does anyone actually still chart their birth down to the dot? No, but I actually love the weather in the summer, which is when I was born. marginally less cool that I share a birthday with Napoleon Bonaparte, the less cool of two dorky Napoleons (the other one’s last name is Dynamite in case you missed the reference)

9. Where are you from and where do you live now?

Illinois and Illinois. I’ve moved towns a lot, but Never states. 

10. What school do you go to?

Also starts with an A. mascot is a dude dressed as a viking. a bit less cool than it sounds. (I’m a tired third year college student, i can nitpick on little things. Really, how hard is it to dress someone like an actual viking, and not in a stuffy costume that scares no one? Sports should be like the old days, striking fear into people’s hearts when the enter the court...ahem...er..nevermind)

11. What kind of student are you?

Usually start off bright eyed and bushy tailed, then loose any desire to work halfway through the term. I still do the homework, but it’s clear to everyone I’m dead inside. 

12. Do you like school?

Yeah. For the most part. Keeps me busy, and I hate being inactive, brainwise. 

13. What are your favorite school subjects?

Religion and Spanish. Because that’s pretty much all I’ve lived the past idk how any months I can’t think of anything else *sobs*

14. Favorite tv shows?

I don’t watch a load of tv. I have Netflix, and though I don’t even watch that a lot, the last few things I’ve watched and enjoyed was Nailed It, Nailed it Mexico, and the Curious Creations of Christine McConnell. I do have some tv shows on dvd that I like, like Golden Girls ( i grew up on their sass), the Good Guys (goofy cop show with tom hank’s son) and one I bought a while ago but havent sat down to watch (though I saw them all in middle school, waiting for it to come on so I could watch it) was Avatar the Last Airbender (the movie that doesn’t exist broke 12 yr old me’s heart). Though lately I’ve been on a nostalgia kick with Scooby-Doo 

15. Favorite Movies?

UHHHHHHH...... Clue is pretty dang funny (Tim Curry dude), I’m blanking... I saw Bohemian Rhapsody in theaters and my mind was slightly blown. I really like Dracula from 1921? 22? Bela Lugosi at  any rate. Old monster movies just have that aesthetic. 

16. Favorite books?

There’s no click all option, is there? No, but idk. I mean, I have a lot of books I like, but I don’t really know if I have a favorite.

17. Favorite pastime?

Eating. I like cooking and baking, but I tend to get banned from the kitchen because I’m messy (my food isn’t bad, I just get flour and sugar and sauce everywhere)

18. Do you have any regrets?

Currently, not spring cleaning when I should have. Five years ago. I’ve got too much stuff lol. 

19. Dream job?

I answered hermit in my last answer thing. I stand by that. 

20. Would you like to get married someday?

Meh. Like @thecadmiuminkwell said, for cake. Can I just skip to the cake? Actually, I’ll just buy myself a cake. Weddings are too much work.

21. Would you like to have kids someday?

I’m not averse, but I can’t see myself having kids myself, so I’d probably adopt when I’m a lot older than I am now (though I’d probably adopt teens). Some of my friends are already planning on having kids and I’m like, !!! I need to make sure I can survive irl, never mind a kid. 

22. How many?

Not something I can quantify when I don’t plan on doing it within the next ten years.

23. Do you like shopping?

I like to, but every time I do I feel bad for buying stuff I don’t need, even if its stuff I like, cause responsibility be like that. 

24. What countries have you visited?

I’ve only visited the one I’ve lived in. And not much of it.

25. What’s the scariest nightmare you’ve ever had?

I can’t remember the scariest one I’ve ever had, but I did have one where a Marilyn Monroe look alike shot me as a kid. Wasn’t scary, just stuck with me. 

26. Do you have any enemies?

Probably. Good on them if they put in the effort into actively disliking me (except my 7th grade english teacher. Picking on kids is unwarranted)

27. Do you have an s/o?

Nope. 

28. Do you believe in miracles?

I like the idea, but no. Not to my own knowledge anyway. Maybe my brain’s hiding stuff from me. 

Ok, so hopefully this didn’t get too weird/rambly. I’m all foggy from cold meds

If anyone wants to feel free. If not *shrugs*

@pheita @quoth-the-ravens @alwolfesblog @writingwordsanddrawingpictures @marewriteblr