#and lets not even get into how few other queers will even consider a trans reading of anything louis is going through

[iwtvdramacd18]

I used to think that most people had more sense before I got into this fandom because the way people just completely disregard Louis' (and Claudia's) blackness in a show that is an adaptation of a book where the main character owned 2 plantations and hunted slaves for food while talking about his hatred and fear of those he enslaved is like incredible. And to not understand that the show is taking aspects of its source material to task. And to come in with such a superficial understanding of how gothic romance is depicted in Western media, to imply that Louis being put into a role that is almost always taken up by white women is something that's to just connect to a more common audience? Like do you hear yourself? And I KNOW many of yall don't engage with black gay art I KNOW you don't listen to us and often think us outside of queer experience but at some point you are going to need to contend with the fact that there might be something deliberate with the way Louis talks about his relationship with Lestat. The way Claudia interacts with him vs Lestat before and after ep 5. The words she uses to describe the two of them. The books and art put on screen. The costume design. At some point you need to realize you don't know what the fuck you talking about

[suzukiblu]

Some assorted Smallville headcanons from some of my assorted WIPs for Plot Bunny. They did not specify which WIP they preferred, so I just picked a bunch of different ones and went from there! 

Smallville does not approve of Clark Kent’s parenting style: Smallville is a tight-knit, proud little community where everyone looks out for each other that is full of people who want to continue living in a tight-knit, proud little community where everyone looks out for each other. The population at large still considers Clark one of their temporarily-displaced own and were therefore very willing to pretend to believe the “cousin” story when “Conner” showed up–right up until they found out it was NOT a story meant to help Clark’s displaced kid he’d just found out about settle into the Kent family in a low-pressure environment while he got over whatever obvious trauma had happened to him. Now? Now there are pitchforks being sharpened and torches being lit. CLARK JOSEPH KENT, YOUR HOMETOWN IS NOT MAD, JUST DISAPPOINTED. 

Kara gets to Earth on time and the Kents get a two-for-one special on free kids: Smallville is pretty sure Jonathan and Martha did NOT get this emotionally-fraught teen mom and her weird but adorable little baby from any actual adoption agency, Norwegian or not, but what’s a little illegal immigration and identity fraud between neighbors? None of THEIR business, no sir. Especially not if any strangers ever show up in town asking QUESTIONS. 

Jon and Martha, professional soulparents: Oh Jon and Martha absolutely will be clearing out the attic to make Conner a bedroom the absolute SECOND they get back to Smallville. And also being heartbroken about Clark, obviously. Everyone in Smallville is going to cry on them when they hear about Conner and be both very sad and very happy for them. And then they’re all gonna be Weird About Conner, who isn’t gonna know how to talk to ANY of them. He’s gonna get his cheek pinched by so, so many old ladies and SO many manly back-claps and it’s gonna be a pain controlling his TTK enough to actually let people do it. Meanwhile, everyone in Smallville, internally: oh he’s exactly as weird as Clark was when he first showed up, noted. Jfc, Jon and Martha, AGAIN?? WHERE DO YOU EVEN FIND THESE KIDS. 

Kon is too trans for this pregnancy shit: No one in Smallville knew a thing about Kon’s physical sex, so they’re all gonna be VERY surprised very soon, but also Smallville in general is gonna take that whole reveal like CHAMPS and just roll with it, even if it might require some people having some Talks With Their Kids And/Or Slightly Bigoted Relatives. Like, there will be a few assholes and a few over-inquisitive weirdos around, because nowhere is a monolith, but overall Smallville is gonna roll with it and be chill about it while ALSO being incredibly out of touch with the up-to-date terminology/language and having very little grasp of the minutiae of queerness in general ( aside from a couple of very quiet people who are gonna feel a WAY about finding out that Conner Kent is trans and went completely unclocked all this time, and seeing how most of the town’s taking finding out really well, and does that maybe mean . . . ). 

the one where Kon isn’t the father: Smallville has politely not asked any questions about Tim aside from if he wanted a baby shower or not, but also ALL of Smallville knows Tim was Conner’s “boyfriend” and Kyra is “his” daughter. That’s just gossip-by-osmosis that all of Smallville knows. A lot of casseroles and crocheted things and quilts have happened to the Kent household since Tim showed up pregnant and traumatized. And baby stuff donations. And babysitting offers. And general helpfulness in general. People weren’t necessarily close to Kon, but a lot of people felt very bad about what HAPPENED to Kon, especially after finding out about Kyra. Not that any of them actually KNOW what actually happened to Kon or the truth about Kyra, but that’s a clone of a different gene donor, okay?? OKAY.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for inviting my cousin to an LGBT meet up?

Cw: mentions of suicide and transphobia

I (18M) am a trans man and my cousin N (21F) is a lesbian who is very masc presenting. We're the only queer cousins in the family (at least in our generation) so weve always been good friends and shes been one of the biggest supporters of my transition, defended me from bigoted family members and always corrected family when they used my deadname/old pronouns. I lowkey hoped she would come out as a trans man or nonbinary as well. We dress in the same style which makes it so when were hanging out together one of us is gonna get misgendered since people asume both of us are trans men or masc girls. When N is the one being misgendered she doesnt bother fighting it since its more trouble than its worth but looking back i think it really annoyed her.

Earlier this year N was severely struggling with her mental health. I apologize for the wording i may have since i dont know the proper terminology for this stuff or any specific disorder diagnosis she may have (other than autism). She was having some sort of manic or depressive episode. She was dead set on pushing people away and making them hate her so she could take her own life without regrets.

I visited N once to give her my support during a struggling time but i stupidly told her there was nothing she could say that would push me away. She told me not to test her but i kept pushing it and i admit what happened next was my fault. She told me in a very cold voice that she was a terf, though that she didnt want me dead but that "we" (im guessing she meant trans ppl) made it so much harder for her to exist(???????). I didnt let her keep talking just and left her room, said my goodbyes to her family and just cried while driving home.

Im still not sure if she meant it or if it was part of her mental episode and just a way for her to hurt me and push me away. On one hand ig it explains some of her behavior? N sometimes complained when she got asked for her pronouns or being misgendered like I mentioned before. On the other hand, I gen do not believe she has been a terf all along esp with how supportive shes been of me. If she was a terf youd think she would try to subtly talk me out of it, but that has never happened. My friends have nicknamed her schrodinger's terf lol

Anyway, i went no contact with N for a few months for my own wellbeing. During this time i heard that she tried to kill herself a few times, which got her into a mental hospital. She was given higher doses of meds and seems to be doing way better.

We had a family reunion this week and i decided to approach her. N seemed a little hesitant to talk to me but stayed polite. I tried testing her and talked about the effects T has been having on me but she acted like she always had and congratulated me and even complimented me on how deep my voice has gotten. I wasnt satisfied cause i wanted an apology for what she had said to me so i pushed it more. She did end up apologzing but it was a very surface level apology. At this point i didnt want to keep pushing in case it set her off again so i just took her apology (plus i wanted my best cousin back) and spent the rest of the day hanging out with her.

On the way home my mom said she was happy me and N had made up and that i should invite her to the lgbt club meetings Ive been going to this year. It seemed like a good idea to me, she lost a few friends during her episode and she could make more queer friends here. If N is trans and just in denial it could help her get the resources she needs to feel comfortable coning out. If N IS a terf maybe having more positive interactions with trans ppl could change her mind on it. Overall i thought it would be a win for her.

I brought it up to my friends and some of them blew up at me. Their argument was that itd be exposing the other trans ppl in the group to a terf and putting them in danger. I truly hadnt considered this angle so im kinda conflicted now. She had never felt like an unsafe person before and now that her episode is over she feels normal again. Even if she is a terf i dont think she could actually cause harm? I want N to get better but i dont want to put my trans friends at risk.

So tumblr, WIBTA for inviting N to my lgbt meet up?

What are these acronyms?

[cebwrites]

hi hi Ceb! It’s me Nico! And I was wondering if you could write some zoro fluff with a ftm reader who’s having a tough time with back issues and improperly binding? If not that is absolutely a okay and I hope you have a great evening, night or day!

a/n: hell yeah i can do that!! trans guys are my bread and butter >:3 you asked for zoro but this kind of turned into a nakama piece from the SHs supporting their friend too oops

binding pains (Zoro x Reader)

pre-timeskip, t4t mlm zoro and reader, smut mention but no details word count: 1.2k

Zoro was the first to notice.

Well, maybe some of the others have too, but only few others out of the Strawhats are able to pinpoint the exact reason behind the discomfort you desperately try to hide; how you can never find a comfortable angle to lounge on the couch, the awkward ways you have to sit at the table to eat without irritating the dull throb that's become a near-constant in your day to day, and your perpetual slouch getting worse.

It was getting more difficult to hide that pain in the aftermath of simple sparring, too, let alone actual fights with the usual suspects you and your crew had to contend with.

You'd shut down any concern shown your way by older members of the crew; queer elders that knew precisely what the problem was, but you weren't ready to be vulnerable enough with them to hear out any potential solution yet. Everyone had only just gotten together, picking up a funny old skeleton on some fucked up Warlord's travelling island a week or so back and having only saved Robin from the clutches of the government a month or two before that.

You understood that Robin was only trying to be proactive in comforting her newfound family but you weren't ready yet—a fact she seemingly understood and kept from prying accordingly, but made sure you knew you'd always have a shoulder to lean on with her. This influenced Franky's support to be a little less high-flown too, somehow.

This sparked new, unrelated, but curious questions in your mind about the nature of their relationship these past few weeks but that - was none of your business. Just as you had your right to privacy, Franky and Robin deserved to come forward about if they were... complimentary to one another or not. Frankly the thought kind of did make you blush a bit, though, like a kid watching their parents share tender but casual affection in the comfort of domesticity.

Now, Roronoa, the beautiful light reflecting off your blade, Zoro - caught on to your act almost immediately. Because this was this was the exact kind of dumb shit he'd pull in the lawless, early days of his transition where he had no one to tell him not to, back when he didn't have nearly half the self-confidence in the man that he was today. Or rather, no one to tell him that he was doing it incorrectly.

The issue he runs into is more of, how, he'd approach this with you instead of if, since he knows he should. Zoro considered going to Chopper first since that little reindeer was the resident doctor, but he didn't know if that would fly into the territory of outing you, and that threw out the possibility of asking for advice from the others too. Not that Zoro could be particularly subtle even if he tried, everyone would know he was talking about his partner the moment he asked.

So he resigns to just approaching you about it himself.

Tucked away in one of the hammocks hung in the men's quarters one lazy evening, Luffy and Usopp's laughter rang loudly, but muffled above the floorboards. Zoro cradled you with one arm around your waist, the other rest comfortably behind his head. You smiled, moments like these were small but many, one of the joys of being on this crew you assumed.

As Zoro moved to rub his arm against your back, however, you can't quite suppress the way you instinctively tense, nor the growing anxiety deep in your chest every time his hand passed against the fabric of your bindings. Logically, you knew this was nothing to be worried about. Zoro was the same, another beautiful trans guy with the enviable confidence to walk around topless. So what if his boyfriend wasn't quite there yet?

"Hey, how's about we look into getting you a binder?" Zoro was cautious, eyes still closed but he listened intently for your response as his hand drifted further down to your lower back, taking a slight bit of pressure of your mind now that he wasn't actively touching the wrappings.

"You're hurting yourself." He'd roll over to face you properly now, both hands gently cradling your waist.

You'd hesitate to meet his gaze, one you knew to be intense ever since the day he first laid eyes on you, and now, in the tender silence you shared with him you knew that the look in his eyes would rival the sun - the intensity of his love for you, his devotion to you threatening to burn your spirit to a crisp.

Hesitantly, but safe in the sanctuary of his arms, you open up to him about your concerns, your fears. How you're afraid perceptions of you might change if a strange piece of new clothing suddenly shows up in the wash and the other crew members have to watch you claim it as yours. He'd assuage your unease with gentle kisses and small talks of affirmation.

How this crew of all people would never choose to treat someone differently for a silly (but understandable fear) reason like that.

That night he helped undo your wrappings and joked that he could hear your spine realign as you afforded yourself a well earned stretch, laughing at the bindings you threw at his face. He sounded even more pleased when you chose to wrap them around his eyes later on, and with permission granted, devoured your body that night in the crow's nest blind.

The next morning or maybe a few days after, he'd urge you to approach Nami about a little extra pocket money for this particular expense, and maybe some moral support when going shopping for it. For the latter, Robin tags along provided you want her to. Chopper doesn't do his usually overblown reaction of finding out someone on the crew is hurt when you go to him about the back problems that you developed after poor binding, but he does tear up and ask you to come to him immediately the next time something like this happens, and that he's sorry for not being someone you could feel comfortable doing that with a lot sooner.

And I mean—hell, if discomfort with your chest got really bad before the gang could find you the right binder, Nami and Sanji would be more than willing to make you a custom one right at home provided they could get their hands on the proper materials. You're surprised that Sanji knows how to sew so well but not so when Nami says she's taking all her hard time and labor for this out of your allowance.

Your pocket money doesn't change, and in fact gets a slight "bonus" the day you get it.

A little fun money, is all. But only ever just this once.

You're overjoyed, you cry when you see how flat you look in the mirror. You can finally play in the water topless like children, bask in the sun without a shirt and have him tease you about tan lines later, and overall don't have to worry about turning yourself into a shrimp just to feel a shred of personhood.

Zoro's there with you the whole process, holding your hand, sharing the same joys he felt with his gender affirmation with you.

There's a little more spring in your step after this and you think, as you look at him nap against your shoulder, that you've never been more in love in your life.

[smallgronk]

This Community: A Love Letter <3

When I originally joined Tumblr, it was because reddit was being fucking dumb and I didn't want to support it. I had been a user for almost a decade and it really was frustrating to leave a platform I enjoyed so much. It turns out to have been one of the best things to ever happen to me. I went from a lurker to being active in a wonderful community here on Tumblr. I originally joined because I wanted to see the same memes I got from reddit, and I loved the horny vibe mixed in. It was right when I was beginning to explore myself for the first time in my life, rather than just floating along. When I got here, it took me a bit to find my feet, and holy shit was the effort worth it. I struggled with feeling like I was invading, but so many people took my hand and let me know I was welcome all the same. Whether I knew what I was or not, and because of that I was able to truly immerse myself fully in a vibrant queer community for the first time. I had plenty of interactions with many in the queer community before, but not from the inside like it happened here. I finally was able to figure out something that made me feel comfortable with myself. I realize in hindsight, I had never truly felt at peace. I suspected I might be trans before I came here, but I learned some of what being trans means to me in this place. I was content to leave the story at that! To have been grateful for the small kindnesses afforded to me by those around me. To start to try and help others see the same things I had my eyes opened to, and just move forward. And then this week happened, and it feels like my life is going to have a before and after. In a mere five days I have had so many things occur it takes me paragraphs to even glimpse the surface. Death, fear, bravery, exploration, romance, joy, and hope. I have experienced these things more deeply in a matter of days than I have in the last decades of my life as a guy. I have spent mere weeks as a girl on tumblr, a week in my house as a girl, have yet to try and be a girl in public, and I don't even think I consider myself a woman yet, but my life as a girl has felt like its almost just as long as the life I spent as a man. Its incredible. In the middle of this incredible, horrible, beautiful, and terrifyingly stressful week I didn't know how I was going to make it through each minute let alone get through each day. And then this silly little horny community reached out to me. Everywhere I turned I had people not just offer support when I complained, I had people reach out just to let me know they were there if I needed them. I'm so used to just shoving things down and dealing with it alone that I didn't even know how to accept this much help. Every time I had gotten everything shoved down again I had someone else reassure me that I was allowed to lean on them if I needed. It was incredible. It felt almost coordinated with how many people helped me. And I just don't think it's possible for me to express my love for everyone in this community who has helped me both this week, and in the time leading up to it. Those who have given me tips. Those who have helped me find myself. Those who have made me feel beautiful. Those who have let me lean on them when I needed to cry. Those who just let me know they would worry for me. @xenasaur @justaflatbitch @userwordandpassname @rosieeyes @crocadilly @latenitegirlluv @evergreen-femme @v10l3nt-gl1tch3s @tymera @godincarsnate-blog Thank you. I have already said words to some of you, but there is no chance it accurately gets across how much so many people here have meant for me in the little time I've spent. I have surely missed people here, so please don't think you don't matter if you haven't made the list. It's not just these few people. It's the entire community that gathers together and makes this kind of thing happen. Everyone has played a role in making such a lovely space what it is. Big hugs, much love- Jay

[transtalesofdoom]

The Egg Years and being Cis-Adjacent

I originally made this blog to talk about my new and exciting trans experience, so let's go do that. Long post, obviously and I just figured out how to do the Keep Reading thing

I didn't have any inherent dysphoria growing up, I was just a bit of a not-like-other-girls tomboy. Jeans were comfier than dresses, boobs and bras were sooo inconvenient, make up just meant more effort. Books and video games were more fun than going out to party. I wasn't good at dancing anyway. And don't even get me started on shaving your legs.

It became obvious to me that I wasn't strictly cis pretty much as soon as I learned that gender wasn't binary. It was common sense, really. If gender is a spectrum, very few people would actually find themselves on the very end of either side. So most people were just close enough to either end of the spectrum to consider themselves cis. Including myself.

As my understanding of gender grew, it became more and more ridiculous to assume anyone was 100% cis. There's always some criterion you don't fully meet. Of course, people could still use and identify with the label of cis, clearly there was some sort of leeway. But calling myself cis started to feel wrong. It felt like I was ignoring the very nature of gender as a vast spectrum by picking a label rooted in the binary. I was cis, but in a queer way. I started calling myself cis-adjacent when talking to other queer people.

I never had a "problem" with my assigned gender at birth, outside of the patriarchy and sexism and periods, but those weren't trans reasons to resent being a woman. Being a woman suited me well enough. I wouldn't have cared if I wasn't, if I woke up one day without boobs, I'd just go on and fit into shirts much more easily. I considered "gender-apathetic" as a label, but ultimately it felt like too much hassle for something I was indifferent about.

Really, that was what it came down to. I was close enough to being cis, I didn't have any internal problems with calling myself a woman or living as one. Sure, there probably was something more accurate for me out there, but I knew about the struggles trans people faced. A good friend of mine had come out as trans and started his transition. I was happy for him, but I also got to see the difficulties it brought to update paperwork and book appointments and constantly emailing professors about your new name and pronouns. Not to mention the whole coming out to family thing. Or transphobia. There wasn't enough suffering in me to submit myself to this much effort and misery. Or force everyone in my life to learn a new set of pronouns and name for me, irrevocably changing every single relationship I had in the process. I didn't even want to be a man anyway. Just look a little more like one.

And I could easily present pretty masculine without transitioning. I only wore pants anyway. And hoodies were super comfy. I cut my hair short more than once. I considered buying a binder, just to see what that would do for me, but every time I tried looking into it, I just got overwhelmed and, like I said, there wasn't enough suffering to justify spending 50 bucks and at least one extensive research session on it. Ironically enough, during my last year as cis-adjacent, I finally reconnected with a part of my femininity and wore dresses to special occasions again.

However, a new problem had found my body: The unstoppable passage of time. I wasn't a perky teenager anymore. My body gained weight, my boobs succumbed to gravity, and I had very little in common with what was considered a beautiful woman. Even a beautiful butch woman didn't look like me. No one beautiful looked like me, really. I told myself that I had a lot of internalized misogyny and fatphobia to unlearn. That the reason I started disliking my reflection was social conditioning. I was right about that, of course. But there was more to it that I, in my self-righteous blaming of society, didn't acknowledge.

Until the last full moon night of 2023, when my mirror reflected a ghost back at me.

[gatheringbones]

[“I never felt like I was born in the wrong body,” he says, referring to the dominant medical discourse, though he hated looking in the mirror and says he “felt extreme discomfort” with the body he had. Lucas has been binding his chest for two years using a compression sports bra, always a little too tight, usually followed by a T-shirt and a man’s shirt. He does so for safety, because he sometimes goes to rural Putnam County: “very small, really Southern places,” doing HIV education. “If they knew I was queer, let alone trans, I would probably be killed, so I kind of have to keep all of that very much on the ‘down low’ when I’m doing work out in the community.” But to his co-workers he is “very, very out.” For Lucas, undergoing top surgery is an assertion of what some feminists call bodily autonomy. Pro-choice activists argue that the government has no right to tell women what to do with their body; transgender activists say that they have the right to change their body if they please.

Lucas is at the surgeon’s office with Oliver, a former boyfriend who is also a bearded trans man; and Rachel, a bisexual Latina, his “soul mate and sister.” Lucas says he has “always known” he wanted top surgery,” even before he began injecting testosterone. A few friends in Gainesville who had undergone surgery with Dr. Garramone became mentors to younger trans people in town like Lucas, directing them to friendly therapists and doctors, and helping them get letters for testosterone. Having crowdfunded the $7,000 he needed for top surgery, Lucas is giving away $500 to charity.

And then there is Nadia, a twenty-eight-year-old from St. Louis who works as an employment coach at a nonprofit agency. The odd girl out, she is having her chest masculinized, but not as part of a gender transition. As a how-to book suggests, top surgery is “not just for those transitioning from female to male” but also for others on the gender spectrum, including “gender non-conforming, gender fluid, bi-gender, butch, and so on.” Nadia feels some camaraderie with trans men undergoing top surgery and considers herself “near the trans community, but not in it.” She has short brown hair, bushy eyebrows, and olive skin, and she is wearing large horn-rimmed glasses, a men’s shirt, and hip-hugging straight-leg jeans that look baggy on her slender frame.

When Nadia was twenty-one, her breasts suddenly grew to about a 32C. “They just went boom,” she says, and she told me they felt outsized for her small frame. At certain points in her monthly cycle, when they bloomed even more, she couldn’t even bring herself to get dressed. She felt more comfortable in an androgynous style, wore men’s clothing, and hated the way her buxom bosom made her clothes fit. And she loathes having them touched. She identifies as female and has no interest in taking testosterone, but she sees her breasts as an impediment, a part of her body that does not reflect how she sees herself. Nadia’s queer circle includes trans friends with whom she shares a deep sense of alienation from standard-issue notions of femaleness. She is here with her girlfriend, Flora, an art student whom she met on OkCupid four years ago; the two were drawn together by their mutual interest in art, politics, and graphic novels.

Nadia upends conventional notions of what women should look like and how they should be. She’ll remain female, but she shares with the others here today the belief that their breasts don’t fit and that by changing their bodies they can become more comfortable in their skin and more successful in their lives.”]

arlene stein, from unbound: transgender men and the remaking of identity, 2018

[indigo-anonymous]

I may be a little too deep in the brainrot but hear me out about this Hazbin Hotel AU idea-

It kinda spawned from a few other sinner!Adam AUs I've seen, but because I'm me I had to make it ✨trans✨. It started with my brain imagining Adam with gender euphoria bc of facial hair, and spiralled into, well, this...

--

Consider: Adam respawns as a sinner, and on top of all the other changes (goat ears and small goat horns, raven wings the colour of an oil spill, hooves instead of feet) he finds himself in a female body. The dysphoria is intense, even his voice sounds wrong to his own ears. He doesn't know where to go (all the people he knows would only want to kill him again), and ends up wandering, seeing the worst of hell as someone homeless. He dies more than once, but regenerating doesn't change his body. The worst of the dysphoria comes from other people, the way they talk to him and about him, the way they act towards him. He starts to talk less and less, hating the sound of his voice.

Eventually he stumbles upon Valentino. The deal he makes is one for protection, but knowing more than the average fresh sinner, he is very specific about details. Demons are not to be trusted, after all. He works for Valentino for protection and a place to stay, but maintains his soul and ability to back out of the contract.

He never introduces himself as Adam, no one knows him as such, and no matter what he says about being a man, Valentino never sees him as such. The overlord sees Adam and assumes he is a butch lesbian (given the masculine clothing choice (perpetual dysphoria hoodies and sweatpants) and short hair, haphazardly cut with any available knife whenever it got too long for comfort). Adam of course doesn't help that assumption by being adamant (pun intended) that he's only attracted to women.

Regardless, he works for Valentino, and it doesn't take long for him to run into Angel Dust. Adam is almost always quiet, even around Angel, but they eventually start warming up to each other. Angel immediately believes Adam when he says he's not a woman, and that relief is enough for Adam to start trusting Angel. It helps, of course, that Adam's power is related to names. He sees the true name of every sinner floating by their head, the handwriting symbolic of their personalities. Above Angel's head, in elegant, swoopy letters, is the name Anthony.

"You're Anthony, right?" "What- How did you know that?" "I- uhh... it says. Above your head." Angel is quiet for a moment, and then carefully asks, "Does it say anything above your head?"

Adam admits, truthfully, that there is no name above his own head. Still scared to admit his identity, he picks "Dee" as a temporary name (and definitely a reference to his title as Dickmaster).

And so Anthony and Dee become friends. Angel tells his friends at the hotel about his new coworker and friend, and they get progressively closer, bonding over queer experience and working under Val. With Anthony's help, Dee slowly starts to properly deconstruct his beliefs about... well, practically everything.

Anthony gets him his first binder to help with dysphoria (though he can only wear it when they're chilling with just the two of them, to be sure Val doesn't catch on) and they hang out together watching movies and talking. Adam is still quiet, but comes out of the shell he'd stuffed himself in over the past months, slowly but surely.

Angel can see that Dee isn't happy working for Val, doing it out of necessity far more so than enjoyment. So he suggests an alternative: the hotel. Escaping Val would mean Dee could actually attempt to transition, without having the dysphoria of being constantly misgendered by almost everyone around him. The hotel would keep him safe, even from Val, who would not be happy to have one of his new toys quit after gaining a following.

After some consideration, Adam accepts. He lets his hair grow out a little, hoping to not be recognised by anyone staying at the hotel. This, of course, wouldn't last. Though I'm not sure exactly how it would go down, Lucifer would be the one to first recognise him. Maybe once he's been on T for a short while, and his voice starts to drop. He slowly starts sounding and looking more like himself.

I'd love for this to end with Adamsapple because I love them sm, but I didn't think quite that far ahead, this really was just the brainrot of a few hours on the train with nothing but my thoughts and some music lmao.

Feel free to like, ask me more about this if you're interested? I don't rlly have a name for it, like, trans sinner Adam au?? idk

I apologise for my overuse of parentheses, and the probably somewhat incoherent rambling of... whatever this is. Just wanted to type out my thoughts :P

Indigo (going a little insane)

[monorayjak]

I... it's getting hard to live like this. Hiding who I am to so many people. It hurts. I wrote a thing earlier today and I felt I summed up the feeling pretty well I think, reworded a bit to sound better:

"It feels like torturous self harm to be fully aware of who I am and yet imprison myself in a fortress of a false identity that's slowly caving in around me."

What I'm getting at here... I think... I think it might be time for me to come out to some people...and I really need some advice.

As of now, only four people IRL know about me, that's my therapist, my cousin (who was genuinely more like a sister to me), a friend at college (I knew they were extremely supportive and they had no connection to other people I know, so it seemed like a safe bet to tell her (I was right)), a friend I interacted with occasionally in high school who has since come out as trans herself (actually what got me to message her, saw her online and wanted to ask so I didn't misgender her or anything, and we got talking and I quickly realized she'd understand.)

At the moment, I'm still living with my mom, which is fine, I know she'll support me in her own way (she's queer herself, she has internalized issues, but she tries). I know my university I go to, despite having once been a "christian college," have opened up and been supportive of most of the students who do come out in one way or another. I know at least a few of the professors there who are absolutely trying to be supportive to everyone to the best of their abilities. My therapist knows, as mentioned before, but he is also... well, he ain't exactly a pro with gender and sexuality stuff (still a good guy, he just messes up what he's talking about here and there, like using masculine pronouns when he talks about a transwoman (largely I think its because he usually talks about them when they first started transitioning, and I don't think he thinks about gendering them correctly in reference to them coming out... if that makes any sense).

The issues... well, for one, I live in the bible belt. My extended family (who we are finally trying to cut ourselves off from now that the only think holding us together (my grandmother) is gone) lives all around me and the majority of them are.........well lets just say they really don't like my mom being gay, and one of them bullied a kid he was fostering because, in his words, "the kid's a fucking sissy!" Yeah... not a fan of that uncle. (In related news I am genuinely afraid of that man because he is very fucking clearly not mentally stable and has talked about killing himself and others before (while preaching at church!) and he is... really aggressive and has access to guns) I'm too poor to even consider leaving the state, and with... well frankly I'm a bit of a fuckup who really can't live on their own... yeah... fun times. Insurance may cover parts of things, but... honestly I don't even fucking know. Like I said, I know my mom will try to support me, but she is also... well, how do I say this? She tends to not know how to react to stuff. A large reason I don't talk about stuff with her is that she has a habit of turning it around into something about herself (not in a manipulative way, mind you. I just think she doesn't realize why it feels bad to tell her something like this and then have her break down a bit because I didn't tell her sooner or because she didn't work it out herself or anything like that). Basically, if I tell her, its either going to go one of two ways.

She reacts negatively and turns it around about herself and takes the moment to be hurt she didn't work things out or that I didn't tell her. (Literally once opened up to her when I was little (like 11?) about how much I hated myself... she said the next day she spent the entire night crying because she thought she failed... I understand what she was going for, but, honestly not something you should tell your kid who just opened up. Practically had it ingrained internally "If I feel bad, hide it. Because my mom will be devastated by it.")

She goes too supportive and expects me to be willing to open up immediately. Basically just forgetting she can't push me into being out and honest because it takes time to work up the courage.

Both of these options are... iffy. To say the least.

[the-delta-quadrant]

some anon in one of my culture blogs inboxes is really angry that i use -misia rather than -phobia to discuss bigotry against queer people (and fat people). every few days they slide in my inbox asking in definitely good faith (/s) why i use -misia instead of the more common -phobia because it "should be obvious from context" what i mean, and today they said "don't let the [queerantagonists] destroy our language"

and since this is bullshit and tumblr won't let me block anons for some reason, here's a little history lesson for you

it is not "our language". even if it was, it's abled queers' language because language that is ableist, saneist and harms mentally ill people is not "our language". you just don't consider disabled people part of your people, apparently. using the word phobia to describe hate and aversion is part of a bigger problem of people using mental illness to describe bad behaviour or behaviour that is unwanted ("narcissistic abuse", "trans people are being histrionic over their pronouns", "schizo", "crazy", "insane" as insults, "only someone who is mentally ill would do [very horrible thing]". these attitudes have real affects on mentally ill people, they get us attacked, institutionalised and killed because we're deemed to be inherently dangerous. the -phobia for bigotry thing is no different. this attitude has lead to so much trauma and i have personal history of specifically being bullied because people thought that me having phobias made me a bad person, and they specifically brought up the word homophobia. that's as deep as i'll go in because i've done enough talking about my trauma publicly recently lol.

aside from the harm done to mentally ill people, it also really, really downplays bigotry. if it's a mental illness, the poor bigots just can't help it. and here's where we get into the etymology of the term homophobia.

the term homophobia was coined by george weinberg, a straight psychologist who doesn't get a say on our language. he DID coin it as a mental illness, so any counter argument of how it wasn't meant that way immediately falls apart. in his coining of the word, he described phobias as "always leading to brutality", once again playing into the idea that mentally ill people are inherently dangerous. weinberg coined the "mental illness" homophobia as a defense for hate crimes - he LITERALLY created the gay panic defense. that is the origin of the term "homophobia", and thus all other bigotry terms that people slap the -phobia ending onto.

the very etymology of the word homophobia is so violently anti-queer. it is not "our language". it was nonqueer people's language to justify why we were murdered and attacked.

the word "homophobia" is literally the origin to "gay panic". it's literally the "clinical term" for gay panic.

how can you say that gay panic isn't real because it's hate and not panic but then insist on using the term homophobia?

and i don't really care if you want to "reclaim" the word because it's still fucking ableist.

and if anyone comes here to tell me "but oil is hydrophobic and it's not scared or mentally ill!" you'll get blocked because..

newsflash: mentally ill people are HUMAN, not a fucking lab experiment. don't talk about context if you don't understand how calling oil hydrophobic does fuck all harm but calling PEOPLE phobic to mean "something horrible" does.

i also don't care if it's "common" or more understood. it's not an excuse for ableism.

it's very ironic how many people will reblog like 100 gender terms a day but get crappy with me because they might have to learn a new word to avoid being ableist.

like, on my culture accounts i never even specifically talked about the -phobia suffix being ableist because i'm tired of being attacked. but even if i just use non-ableist language without saying anything about other language, i still get fucking harassed.

disabled people can't fucking win and it's so obvious you don't want us in the queer community if you consider ableist and anti queer language to be "our language" and part of our history or whatever the fuck.

if you get personally offended by disabled people pointing out ableism you're a piece of shit, but if you get personally offended by disabled people simply using non ableist language and not even saying anything about ableism, you're 10x the biggest piece of shit.

even if -phobia wasn't harmful in numerous ways, just imagine how pathetic you have to be to get angry at someone over how they talk about bigotry.

[purlturtle]

Why "You're not HSP, you're autistic!" isn't helpful but actually counterproductive

So first, let me explain my background on this:

I'm a social worker. Communication is my daily tool, especially with people in crisis

I identify as HSP but not as autistic. I have reasons for that.

I'm also a lesbian, and have been active in the queer community for literal decades. This includes discussion about labels, self-identification, labels based in discriminatory thinking, etc.

lastly, I'm acutely aware of intersectionality, internalized biases, and where they can lead us

Next, let me outline who this post is for:

anyone who is convinced of the above sentence (and wants to convince others too)

anyone who is uncertain which label applies to them, but feels like it might be one of the two

anyone who knows they are one or both of the above labels and wants to communicate with others.

I'll put my arguments under the Readmore, so as not to clutter up people's dashes; this is gonna get long. In essence, they boil down to:

You-messages like the above very rarely work.

telling someone their own identity typically doesn't work.

a researcher's ableism doesn't necessarily mean their whole entire body of work needs to be thrown out.

HSP and autism have several overlapping criteria, however that does not mean that HSP equals autism.

Lastly, let me tell you why it's important:

we all, no matter how we label ourselves, seek for tools (self help, therapy, apps, etc.) that will improve our lives. Some of the tools from the Autism Toolbox will work for me, some from the ADHD Toolbox too - but not all of them.

currently, there is another toolbox labeled HSP, and the tools in there are perfect for me. I only found them because I found the label HSP; I did not find them in the Autism or ADHD Toolbox. Maybe one day these toolboxes will be integrated into one, maybe under the autism label, who knows. But RIGHT NOW they are not. Right now, they are labeled HSP or SPS, and those are the terms I needed to search for to find them - no matter that the terms might be badly chose

"you're not HSP, you're autistic" denies that this HSP Toolbox even exists, and so people will not find all the tools that can make their life better.

Okay, here's the long form of my arguments.

You-messages like the above very rarely work.

Most people's gut reaction to being told "You are not X, you're actually Y!" is "who are you to tell me what I am?" or "who are you to tell me that my conclusion is wrong?" Such a reaction is, as stated, not helpful, and usually counterproductive. It puts the person being told "You're Y" on the defensive, and people don't change their mind when they feel defensive.

If you are truly convinced that this person is autistic, it is far more helpful to put this in an I-message, and temper it with a potentiality: "I think/it seems to me, from what you describe, that you could be autistic." And then to follow this up with, for example, a question like "have you ever considered that?" so that they can explain if, perhaps, they have already looked into that, or tell you that no, they haven't, what's your reasoning?

They might still react defensively due to their own ableism against being potentially autistic. But they can tell themselves "okay, that was just this person's opinion, I don't have to listen to them," which is actually a much less conflict-ridden outcome.

telling someone their own identity typically doesn't work.

Let's look at another way of telling someone their own identity: "You're not a gender non-conforming cis woman, you're actually trans!" - how do you, an internet stranger, know? All you have is a few sentences that someone posted somewhere; they, meanwhile, know their own lived reality 24/7 of however many years they've lived with it. Again, this kind of communication leads to defensiveness.

Even if it's true - and that's an important thing to keep in mind.

This person might be trans. That person might be autistic. But unless and until they are ready to hear that, to think about that as a possibility, to test apply that label to themselves and see if it fits? You telling them will do jack shit. Especially in a confrontative You-message. It might even lead to them taking longer to embrace that part of their own identity; out of spite ("just because some random internet stranger said I was doesn't mean I am"), out of fear ("I don't want people to know this about me; am I that easy to clock?"), of out internalized bias against the identity ("I can't possibly be this!").

a researcher's ableism doesn't necessarily mean their whole entire body of work needs to be thrown out.

I see the ableism in Aron's work. And in that of other researchers. Bias against autism is unfortunately still rampant, even in psychology, even in neurosciences. And I understand the pain of seeing that, of being belittled, dismissed, being made invisible. And I further understand the gut reaction to not want to have anything to do with a person who is like that, who does that.

That is not, however, how science works. Science needs to take an objective look at what is presented, check it for biases (among other things), and if found, check whether those biases truly invalidate the entire body of work, or parts of it, and then throw those out and also check if sense can be made of the data/findings without those biases.

That is what further research and peer review is all about, and that is being done right now. This has been the case throughout medical history, as well as all other sciences. Heck, for the longest time (including even today), one form of autism was named after a fucking Nazi ramp doctor.

Again, I know the pain that bias in science can cause. I've been at the receiving end, I know plenty of people who have been on the receiving end, I see your pain. I understand wanting to be seen, not dismissed. I understand wanting to lash out.

However, when you do so by telling people "you're not HSP, you're actually autistic", the only people that you hurt are the ones who are seeking help, who are vulnerable and in pain themselves. It wasn't all that long ago that especially girls and women (or people perceived as such by parents, teachers, doctors) were told "You're not autistic; girls can't be autistic." It hurt them. It denied them access to help that they sorely needed. Don't perpetuate that, please - even if you are truly convinced that this person is, in fact, autistic: please refer to the above two bullet points to understand why telling them in that way won't help.

HSP and autism have several overlapping criteria

and it is possible to be both, it is possible to identify first as one, then the other, and it is possibly to mistakingly think you're one when you're actually the other. However that does not mean that HSP equals autism in every single case - not according to current psychological and neurological knowledge.

I score well below the threshold for every single autism test. Like, it's not even close. Even the ones that test for typically-overlooked autism criteria, even the ones that test for how autism presents in women, all of them. The experiences that autistic people describe, of studying social interactions until they can mimic them perfectly, know what to say and how to react because they've seen other people do so and can replicate that - none of that is me. By all criteria known to current science, I am not autistic.

I have, however, undeniably a high sensitivity to external input, sensory processing sensitivity, funnel not filter, high-wired brain, however you want to name it. I don't care what it's called; all I care about is that I understand how I work, how my brain works, so that I can finally get the bottom back under my feet. That is why I was trying to see if I'm autistic: because that would have helped me make sense of what is going on, of how I feel wrong all the time; and it would have enabled me to seek out therapy that was actually helpful. I would not have minded an autism diagnosis; I would have welcomed it, precisely because of that.

And it was never the right fit. And god, how that frustrated me. And I know you know that feeling, of looking at this box and that label and this study and that doctor, and they all tell you "no, this isn't you, not precisely." And you know that you don't fit in with society, that you're different than other people, who seem to fit in so easily, who go through life so blithely when you simply can't, and you just wanna know why that is and how to change it, how to make things so that you can go through life blithely too.

The overlap between HSP and autism is large.

And maybe, further down the line and the years, science will come up with a concept that combines autism and HSP or SPS or whatever they call it currently. And when that time comes, I'll embrace that concept just like I'm embracing HSP as a concept right now, just like I would have embraced an autism diagnosis. But until that happens, we need to keep both of these labels, diagnoses, whatever you want to call them, open and available for people.

Because while the overlap is large (just like autism and ADHD have some overlap), it isn't a circle; it's a Venn diagram with some communal and some separate aspects. And I fall into the pool that isn't overlapping with autism. Others don't. Squares and rhombuses can coexist, and so can autistic people and highly sensitive people; I'm 100% convinced that plenty of accommodations, tools, helpful tricks work for us both.

But some of them are not fully the right fit, and that is important. In the end, that is what this is about, and why we need both terms, both concepts, and why conflating them isn't helpful: the people who fall under any of these diagnoses need to find the correct help, the correct tools for living their lives in the best way possible. The way I need to arrange my life, the strategies I need to develop and the accommodations I need to implement, have lots in common with what an autistic person might need - lots, but not everything. Just like different autistic people will need different things. And people with ADHD need different things (and also some of the same things). But when you point me only to the Autism Toolbox, I will not find everything I need, just like an ADHD person won't. And that makes my life harder than it needs to be.

Currently, I find the tools that I need in a box labeled HSP. I don't care if they stay in there, if the box gets relabeled, if it gets integrated into the autism toolbox. All I care about is that I have access to them, that other people who need the same tools have access to them. I have started to work with an HSP coach, who I found because I found the label HSP, and when I tell you that my life has massively improved since then, I want you to hear that.

When you say "you're not HSP, you're actually autistic," one of the things you're doing is you deny people access to the tools they need.

And I won't stand for that.

[masonscig]

can i ask why people in the fandom seem to really dislike mishka? (censoring her name and such) this is not meant in an offensive way to you or to anyone else, i’m just new here and kind of confused. like did she do something legitimately wrong or are people just irked by the writing of the new book? hope you have a great day <3

OH yeah sorry i can definitely see how that's confusing to new people LMAO

so, it's a bit of both imo – i've been here since 2020, shortly after book 2 dropped, so my perspective is a lot different than newer fans

so, one of the reasons i censor her name, is because tumblr changed the search functions – used to be, when you looked up something, it was only things that were in that exact word order in a tag – so if you spelled t/w/c wrong in some way, it'd only show up results that were misspelled, if that makes sense

but now, it's like if you look up any word, random posts that mention it anywhere in the post will show up too – and i would rather not open myself up to the m*shka bootlickers bc i just do not have time for that LMFAO

i rarely maintag things these days because i just don't want to be perceived by so much of this fandom, but that's just a me thing

also, in terms of what she did "wrong"... on top of problematic stuff in text, there's a few things i can think of off the top of my head:

encouraging white/washed art by reblogging on to her dev blog while knowingly having the official skintone palette locked behind a paywall (patreon)

when called out for the above, they did vet their pieces i guess – by only reblogging black and white pieces, and art of detectives. then they stopped reblogging art completely

posting a white hand for a morgan instagram edit – and taking hours to delete the harassment in the replies, some of which being actually racist comments with slurs pointed at black people

in a q&a video, referred to m as an "attack dog", which was super insensitive, considering the consistent comparison of m to an animal across all platforms (text, tumblr posts, patreon content)

her treatment of f over the years, both in text and outside of it. her asks were a huge reason that the fandom has an infantilized view of f and they don't even consider them to be a love interest (much less one that gets physically intimate). they see them as a child. this bullet point is a massive one that would take too long to explain. i could probably write an essay on how problematic it is to immediately "other" your singular black character by literally making them an otherworldly alien, but i do not have the time

how she writes nb/trans characters. from what my friends have said who code dive, they get the same dialogue and variants that women do. obviously if you don't code dive or play with nb characters you probably wouldn't notice, but there are a good chunk of people in the fandom who play with nb oc's so... this is something that should be better, but it's not

to add to the above, she said she was getting sensitivity readers but... did they do anything? look at book 3 and tell me if they actually did anything (i have a feeling maybe those sensitivity readers were white queer people)

overall, it's very hard to explain and condense the fuckery my mutuals and i have seen both m*shka do over the years, and what her fans have let slide/incidents they've coddled her up during.

sadly, she doesn't take hard stances on things. she just lets things happen and that just. doesn't bode well if your argument for all these mistakes is "ignorance". if she's getting 10k a month on patreon plus sales (not to mention the fact she's a grown ass woman), then... it's the bare minimum to ask for her to be mindful of her audience and to do better.

and also book 3 sucks xoxo

[kitausuret]

Harry Osborn/Flash Thompson Fic Recs

(Harry and Flash at Flash's birthday, Amazing Spider-Man #789; Slott & Immonen)

After writing my own HarryFlash fic, and also at the request of a friend, I realized it might be a good idea to recommend a few of my favorites I've come across! It's a small ship but one I've become very fond of. Full disclosure, I haven't read everything out there, and if anyone has any recommendations, feel free to add them on! But here's what I've found on Ao3 and am happy to pass on.

As always, heed the tags and summaries, and have fun! Remember to kudos and comment!

Got to Believe It's Worth It - by turnofthesentry (1k, T+) - 616

Short, sweet, a little sad, a little smutty (mostly vague/suggestive). Set right before Flash ships off for active duty. I love this one even though it hurts my heart a lot. Bonus, there's a comic adaptation by @oliveroctavius which you can find right here!

Not a Math but a Science - by turnofthesentry (1k, Gen) - 616

So this one isn't solely HarryFlash, it's more like Harry pining for everyone, but it's a beautiful 4+1 fic (4 kisses Harry wanted, and 1 he got) and the bit for Flash is very sweet. I'm feelings.

phone calls - by kingdavidbowie (~2k, T+) - TASM

I think this might be a sequel to hallway by the same author, but I liked this one in particular because of its blending with some things from comics canon, especially for Flash. It's a little sad but they are sweet boys...

had they not been interrupted - by softgrungeprophet (1k, Explicit) - 616-esque-ish

trans!Flash? trans!Flash! Nadia wrote this wonderful little fic as part of their series..es..? where Flash is a trans girl. This one is a personal favorite, Harry is very good and very sweet to her.

better there than perfect - by blue_bees (2.5k, Gen) - 616

I really like this one because it's from the roommates era!! (oh my god, they were roommates) It's sweet and a little bit sad in parts but what good Coffee Bean ship isn't.

"The ladies dig a man in uniform." - by blue_bees (4k, T+) - 616

My favorite thing about this fic is how definitively it is set in the silver age of comics - Oli talks a lot on his blog about the importance of historical context with comics, and I love the way he uses that in this fic. It also makes it a little sad, of course (queer men in the sixties, and all) but god, it's so good. Also, getting frisky in a car is fun.

I hear the soft sigh of his inhale - by softgrungeprophet (9k, T+) - 616

This one's just plain fun. And look at that word count! It's inspired by the Spidey newspaper strip, which had a little B plot (or maybe more like a C plot) about Harry and Flash running a roller disco. This tick-marks a lot of my favorite things to see in fics, like the whole supporting cast. There are so many characters in this one!! It's fun! There's a scene that takes place during Halloween! It's got DAD!HARRY! There's also a lovely drawing by Oli at the bottom.

Cover Me In Bruises - by BlueCrowAnxiety (12k, Explicit, Incomplete [currently at ch. 10]) - Raimiverse

Let me preface this by saying I am not that into Raimi!Spider-Man, but I know there are a lot of Raimi fans out there and this is from what I've seen the only fic that falls into that category. I know from their other fics that Blue has a good knowledge of comics canon and that shines through here and there in this fic. I'd never considered HarryFlash in that universe before this one! It's neat!

Learn to Let it Show - by Kitausuret (2k, Gen) - 616

Not to toot my own horn, but I did just publish my very own HarryFlash fic last night. It's set after Venom: Space Knight because I like Flash as Venom and dad!Harry.

I hope you have fun with these suggestions! If anyone knows of any outside ao3 or that I missed, for sure feel free to add them.

[much-ado-about-whumping]

Commission opportunity for QTPOC nsfwhump writers

Are you a queer/trans writer of color who's open to taking commission? Are you over 18 and an erotica writer? Would you consider yourself trauma-informed? I'm trying to match-make a writer with a commission client, and I might have a lead for you! (Even if you've never written a commissioned work before, if this interests you, please read on.)

This is a slightly unusual post for my whump blog, but I sometimes write paid BDSM erotica commissions on the side, and I have an opportunity to share! A reader recently contacted me asking if I knew any queer, trans writers of color (QTPOC) who could write a trauma-informed commission for them. The client is QTPOC themself and wants a writer who shares those identities. I'm white, so I said I'd ask around my networks!

Here are the parameters they gave me:

I'm interested in a one-time commission involving a cis fem + nby pairing involving a dubcon dom/sub SM dynamic, cold/shivering kink, ~2k words

While this client didn't ask for nsfwhump by name, I can tell you that that's what I would call the things I write as commissions, with some variation based on clients' requests. What I think this client is responding to in my work that made them reach out to me is the way that I can see sexual trauma as simultaneously titillating in fantasy and also really grounded in emotional and physical ramifications for the survivor. I think most people who write nsfwhump can do that, which is why I framed this post this way.

We connected via r/eroticasells on reddit, where the price floor is $0.05/word, so I would say there's a baseline expectation that this commission would net you at least $100*, but of course you and the client could negotiate that yourselves.

(*Note: I currently have COVID and am a little brain-fogged and trying to do the math mentally without navigating away from the tumblr app, so if I got that wrong, please forgive me. 😅)

I haven't thoroughly vetted this client, but they've been kind and respectful in their conversations with me, and I get a good vibe. Likewise, they know I'm circulating this to people I don't necessarily know well personally - I'm just trying to help connect folks to the opportunity. <3 I know we have lots of talented QTPOC writers in this community, but I'm such a lurker lately that I'm having trouble thinking of specific individuals who I know write nsfwhump off-hand. If that's you, please please reply or DM me so I can connect you!

A final note - if you've never taken a commission before, but this idea sounds up your alley, I'd be super happy to share what I know with you about how to do it and stay safe. I'm far from an expert, but I've been doing this as a side-hustle for about four months and gave learned a few helpful tips, both from other writers and through trial and error. Let me know if you're into the idea but need help getting started!

Happy writing, my dears. Hope to hear from some of you soon!

P.S. - Please consider signal-boosting this even if it doesn't apply to you, provided you're a blog that's comfortable talking about nsfwhump. I know there's a select group of us, and I appreciate help getting eyes on this post! <3

[anfeycare]

hello! welcome to my blog!

i'm Anfey Care, a queer non-binary artist and writer! i go by gender neutral words ("they/them" — "elu/ê/-e" in portuguese)

i enjoy art and science. i love specially Undertale, Adventure Time, The Picture of Dorian Gray, Omori, The Owl House and Utena. i'm brazilian, too. by the way, if you're brazilian, you're welcome to follow me if you enjoy:

art, pixel art, animation;

books, comics, mangas;

cuteness, horror, comedy;

games, music;

indie, alternative things;

queer, LGBT+, gay stuff;

shows, cartoons, animes;

thought-provoking stuff;

nerdy things in general.

if you're not brazilian, but you enjoy these, you can follow me, too. that's why i'm speaking english — it's to let you understand me

( ˙ ꒳ ˙ ) [cute face*]

(*texts in brackets like this describe text emojis for screen readers; similarly, i can use texts in brackets preceded by a slash as tone indicators, such as: [/silly] )

💙 PLEASE, READ MY MOST IMPORTANT RAMBLINGS BEFORE INTERACTING!

🐾 ooo, look! you found a boop post! 🐾

💙 my schedule, and ✨ custom art slots open ✨

🖤 i don't believe in concepts like "ugly" and "dumb"

💙 you can support my art on patreon and ko-fi

🖤 i find generative A.I.s and N.F.T.s useless

💙 my art tag here is "#anfey care"

🖤 i don't allow reposts, just reblogs of my posts

💙 main social medias and links: ✨ here ✨

💙✨ about me: ✨

i'm an introverted, shy, and usually asocial person. somewhat antisocial too, sometimes can be completely silent and spend weeks alone when too overwhelmed from socialization. (INFP and pisces, but i don't take these seriously, although i can relate)

completely atheist. i don't mind religion, even if i might take it as stories and thoughts, but i just don't mind as long as it isn't fanatic christian stuff — i was raised around these people and it got me very tired of those things.

i'm in psychology college (i got a full scholarship), but i made a game development technical course along with high school (public education, got in through an entrance exam, was in first place on the classified candidates list), and am often studying things on my own, like languages. i draw, illustrate, research, write, can animate, design and code, and also make pixel art — sometimes i try making music, photographing and cosplaying. i'm on my way to be an indie game dev (plus a psychologist), but i'm mainly an artist and writer

as for how i identify as LGBT+, i'm queer as in all pan aspec atraction-wise. gender-wise, i identify as pangender, which in my case includes agender, genderqueer, and cassgender; this means i'm trans and non-binary. i usually put it all in short by just saying i'm queer and non-binary, but i don't shy away from saying i'm just gay (as in i'm definitely not straight)

i could be considered legally blind, as i can't see anything a few inches away from my face without glasses (8 degrees in each lens, but i've been needing a new prescription for some years... couldn't afford it yet). i suspect i might be neurodivergent (ADHD and autistic, mainly), and have lots of symptoms of depression, anxiety, some of ASPD and C-PTSD, but also can't afford to look into those. (yep, really ironic how i'm studying psychology before being able to go see a psychologist-)

i know spanish and french, besides portuguese and english. i don't have a lot of practice with those other two languages, but I can understand them well (speaking portuguese helps, heh). i still want to learn more languages — for now, i'm also studying japanese, LIBRAS and ASL from time to time

i aim for diversity, inclusivity and equity, specially for my games. that's a reason why i study a lot, and that's also why i want to make most of my creations available for free. and that's why i encourage you to give me support if you want, as it helps it all to be free of charge, and can give you a custom art or some cool extra content for a low tip (i can also think of opening a shop with prints and stickers to help it all, if you ever get the interest)

i'm a fan of:

Undertale;

The Owl House;

Good Omens;

Omori;

Revolutionary Girl Utena;

The Picture of Dorian Gray;

Deltarune;

Dracula;

Adventure Time;

She-ra and the Princesses of Power;

My Little Pony;

Sonic;

Don't Hug Me I'm Scared;

Welcome Home;

Puella Magi Madoka Magica;

and Dead Plate.

i also play RPG, like D&D, besides liking the RPG video games genre itself. as you see, i'm all over the place — i'm not completely organized and i allow myself to let some things be messy (like tags)

i like lots of things! and, though i enjoy horror, i don't make much art of this kind. plus, i create original stories, art, and characters of my own, like Safey — they're my mascot persona, and they're the fox creature on the pixel art by the start of this blog post. i have a bunch of projects i develop on my own, including ideas of comics and games! and sometimes i write poems, generally in portuguese, but i mix languages and write in english at times

i usually make cute things! whenever i happen to make something scary or with sensitive topics, i let it with the warnings i think it needs. rarely allude to NSFW — it can be there as subtext if i ever include anything like that at all, but i do enjoy artistic nude art, i do like philosophically/sociologically/literarily analytical thoughts and texts that could be about/related to sexual topics, and i also do like (well, you know) horror. i take a different approach on my own art that's around these, but you can avoid it if i ever make it due to the warnings, and i hope you will use the opportunity to avoid it if you're sensitive or don't want to see it. overall, specially for other people like me, i want my space to be a safe space

Undertale is my most favorite piece of media, so i'm drawn towards it most of the time. Sans is my favorite in it (sorry, heh). Flowey is also a favorite of mine

nice to meet you, and i hope you will like what i create!

thanks for reading! see ya! ^꒳^ [cute face smiling]

[olderthannetfic]

Sorry in advance for treating this like ‘Dear Abby’ but I am in need of some advice from a Queer Adult TM…

So, I have this friend who I’ve known for about ten years now. We’re seventeen right now, so let’s just say we went through allllll the phases together. We realized we were queer together, we had our first fandom experiences together (they were actually the person who introduced me to fanfic, which I’m really grateful for, because ever since it has been an integral part of my life), we were DeviantArt furry artists together circa 2016, it was a lot of embarrassing but also fun times. We are also both… and quite mentally ill and it was nice to have someone to help me through the worst bits (when I didn’t have access to therapy or meds) and how I could help them in return.

Lately (maybe over the past 2 years?) we’ve been drifting apart. I think it has a lot to do with the fact we don’t have many common interests anymore (they stopped caring about mine, and stopped sharing theirs with me), but we still do a lot together. They’re my coworker, a member of my ttrpg group, etc. etc.. Due to social anxiety they were my only friend for many years but now I have a few more, so I don’t mind not being as close to them (and I dislike putting the burden of me being reliant/clingy on them). However, they’ve recently been making it harder and harder for me to keep that friendship.

They smoke weed, get shitty stick and pokes, binge energy drinks and shoplift. I don’t have any moral issue with any of those things, but it’s concerning to me because I know they are not in the the right headspace to make those decisions about substances (and the rest). We have both struggled with mental illness, self-harm, and eating disorders. Part of the reason I drifted away from them is because they have no filter and “vent” about their problems to the point where it is very triggering to me (especially in terms of sh and ed). I don’t mind lending an ear but I also have boundaries that I put in place for myself… But yeah, even though they have access to treatment it seems not to be working, or there’s something hindering it. It really hurts to see them in such a bad place because we started out in similar places in regards to our mental health and now that I’m in a better place, they’re not.

I genuinely love and care about this person, but it’s so hard to help them when they shut down every form of help I + the rest of our mutual friends can offer. They’re very manipulative, I would like to think without meaning to, to the point where they twist my words around (for example, recently they did something extremely inappropriate and when I told them I was concerned for their well-being, they said they were sorry for making me “uncomfortable”). They’re also one of those people that plays oppression Olympics, and insists their parents are homophobic and tried to send them to conversion therapy— I know their parents very well, they are literal leftists who have pride flags in their front yard, campaign for politicians that support queer and trans rights, and attend one of the only completely gay-friendly and supporting churches in the area. But the way they talk about them causes other people to dislike them and think they’re homophobic, which they have noticed. I think it’s cruel to them, and also symptomatic of a larger problem that my friend has— they don’t seem to understand that their actions and words have consequences for other people.

I guess what I wanted to ask was: is it worth cutting this person off? I have a feeling that we were naturally grow even farther apart as we go to university, because our values are very different… They’re an anti, I’m not, they have a very surface-level views of politics and believe everything they read in Instagram infographics, I don’t. I don’t consider myself very mature, but they look very immature next to me. Besides, being around them often ends up negatively impacting me as well. However, I worry that cutting them off will makes things worse for them. I don’t want to see them get even more hurt. My confrontations haven’t been doing anything, but maybe they’ll come to their senses eventually.

I really don’t know what to do in this situation, but I’d appreciate any advice from anyone willing to offer it.

--

Since you're about to go off to college, I'd let the friendship naturally fade.

It's not your job to save this person, and I do think you need to get away from them since they don't seem to be making an effort. But since you're naturally drifting away anyway, I don't think having a big, dramatic friend breakup will help anything.

On another note, everyone should have a moral objection to shoplifting. Not only is it dishonest and a sign that something is fucking wrong with you to shoplift, but shoplifters directly hurt retail peons who will get their pay cut as a result of store losses.

People who do this aren't sticking it to the man. They're parasites who hurt other nobodies.

The fact that a lot of teens (American teens?) think this disgraceful behavior is normal enrages me.