#and now i suffer the emotional consequences of both experiences

[samkuchingdraws]

Working on a little sum' sum'n...

[asvterias]

𝘮𝘺 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦, 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘪𝘯𝘦

part 1 || clarisse masterlist

clarisse la rue ✘ black!fem!demigod!reader (daughter of nyx)

summary: overwhelmed with her girlfriend's having a near-death experience, clarisse breakdowns in front of y/n.

word count: 1.9k+

author's note: also tysm for 1,680 followers, i appreciate every single one of you! i kinda thought this song related to this fic, lmk what you guys think in the comments! the song lyrics are bold and italics!

song playing — my love mine all mine by mitski

requested by an anonymous! (pairing ONLY!!)

TAGS BELOW:

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moon, a hole of light

through the big top tent high up

here before and after me

“you know what happens if you extort your powers too much.” she hastily reminded you. from her tone, you knew that she hesitated to remind you of that incident, and it was shaky leaving from her mouth.

“that was one time.” you sighed heavily.

by now, your existing abilities become stronger as you grow older. you managed to control your current powers, and clarisse encouraged you to discover your hidden powers.

shining down on me

moon, tell me if i could

however it’s not encouraged to extort your powers to full extent, liable enough to render you unconscious for weeks, not even days. as a result of your persistent stubbornness, unfortunately, it happened to you and clarisse was an emotional wreck without your comforting presence beside her.

she became more easily irritated and annoyed by anyone who even dared to look her way, almost threatening to kick their ass, surprisingly she’d just rough them up a bit, and stormed off afterward. spending hours at the sparring center, clarisse released all of her anger onto the sparring dummies, using her trust-worthy spear and being completely ruthless with it, rage consuming both her stability and mentality. everyone stayed out of clarisse’s way for their own safety.

all those times you kept her grounded felt like a big waste to her right now. she felt loved, and truly loved by someone blessed to cherish her until your last breath gave out. all of a sudden, you were harshly ripped away from her, without any type of warning, permanently leaving an invisible scar on her heart.

despite being stuck in a temporarily induced coma, clarisse still had a guilty conscience of unawareness, possibly having a chance to rescue you and prevent this from occurring. in other words, she wished that you didn’t intentionally overwork your powers to the core, but you did, and now you’re currently suffering the consequences of it.

send up my heart to you?

so, when i die, which i must do

for the two weeks, you were unconscious, clarisse visited you, kept quiet most of the time, muttered small incoherent words, barely even sentences. she held your hands tightly, they were lukewarm, temporarily not providing the warmth they usually do. she missed everything about you, your presence, your touch, and your love.

and when she’s staring at your face, a small smile litters her face, reminiscing on your wholesome shared memories. sadly, all of the radiation that your face once held was drained and a firm line took its place.

despite the large pit of despair in her stomach, clarisse felt you slipping away from reality with every passing day. your girlfriend was persistent, knowing that you can handle yourself, and often proud of your capability in those sorts of skills.

she couldn’t fathom what it was even like for you to endure the 2-week coma, forced into a dream-like state, hearing and sensing everything going on around you but unable to respond. it must have been torture for you, stuck with your thoughts endlessly on repeat, with no interruption at all. just you and your thoughts there all alone. nothing but you and your thoughts.

she prayed that you would somehow non-verbally assure her, confirming your well-being, not like that would have made a difference regardless, but still, your reassuring words would’ve lessened her worries, even if it was for such a short amount of time.

but the ares girl remained strong, at least for the both of you. clarisse mentally promised for her own sake, desperately clutching onto the small yet meaningful words of encouragement.

could it shine down here with you?

‘cause my love is mine, all mine

i love mine, mine, mine

with a devastated sigh, she’d depart with a forehead kiss before heading to her cabin for some rest, sometimes she’d forget to eat and one of her siblings had to remind her. at this point, it was a common routine for clarisse; wake up, teleport to visit you, complete her daily tasks, and train. and when she’s finished her task of the day, best believe that she’s with you, nursing you back to consciousness.

“yeah, and we both know how that ended!”

“clarisse…”

“no, please let me finish.” she shushed you with a shake of her head, “and i hope it doesn’t happen again, it doesn’t need to happen again!” clarisse whisper-yelled at you, “i almost lost you, and i refused to experience that wretched feeling again. you were unconscious for almost two weeks and we weren’t even in the same place. your mom teleported me to you almost every day since you were in that coma. i refuse to experience that again because i love you and seeing you there made me feel useless for once in my life.” her tone became shaky yet she proceeded on, wanting you to understand, needing you to understand what it was like for her, witnessing you in that comatose state. “i couldn’t stand the thought of you dying, of you leaving me here all alone. you only truly understand me, you love me despite all of my flaws, rather accepting them than ignoring them…nobody else but you…i didn’t think i could love anyone as much as i love you. and that terrified me before but now it doesn’t anymore, knowing you wouldn’t do anything to hurt me. sometimes i wonder if i’m ever worth loving…” a sob escapes her, continued by many heartbreaking sobs. that gut-wrenching feeling in your heart returned, growing larger when clarisse attempted to restrict any more sobs, terribly failing, allowing her emotions to run wild for once.

it’ll probably be the only time she can freely express her emotions without feeling judged within your presence. this was one of the many reasons why clarisse fell in love with you, your compassionate soul, a trait she strongly lacked but adored from you.

she loved that you made her feel comfortable, enough to express her emotions without having to look over her shoulder.

nothing in the world belongs to me

but my love mine, all mine, all mine

your girlfriend didn’t realize the tears freely falling down her face until you wiped the tears away from her eyes. clarisse seems betrayed by her own emotions once she realizes that she’s crying, expressing her vulnerability towards you. the curly-haired girl began to stammer out some words, attempting to defend herself but you kissed her temple and pulled her in for a hug. going off on instinct, she buried her head into your neck, harboring her labored breaths as she tightened her grip on you as if she was too scared to let go and lose you all over again.

“never again…never again…” clarisse mutters, repeating it like a mantra. “i don’t wanna lose you ever again…”

catching on to her rapid muttering, you cupped her face, steadying to your face level.

“i won’t leave you again, i promise babe,” you reassure her. your eyes connect easily, gazing into her glossy eyes.

clarisse looks up at you, a swirl of emotions flowing across her eyes. you pout at your girlfriend, reaching out a hand to gently touch her face, watching her melt by the simple touch.

her glistening eyes made you swoon at her gentleness and vulnerability, “you promise?” her voice was low, similar to a whimper of pain.

my baby, here on earth

showed me what my heart was worth

“i promise,” you clarify, tucking a loose curl behind her ear. “do you wanna stay here for a while, with just me?”

hiding her face back into your shirt, she nodded against the fabric, tightening her grip on you whenever you slightly shuffled in her embrace. your touch was required for her peace, and clarisse made sure that you weren’t escaping from her grasp. too much time was wasted, and clarisse needed to make up for lost time.

at times, clarisse felt extremely weak, exhausted, and defenseless which according to her father, any sign of vulnerability is also perceived as useless in his eyes. ares engraved that motto within his daughter, and you hated that it stuck with her that much! wanting to please her dad, her personality changed over time, and the lingering thought of displaying an ounce of vulnerability vanished. no surprise that you rekindled that thought during your relationship when she started opening up to you.

every time clarisse received surprise visits from her dad, you were always there, listening about him degrading her great abilities because of her gender. all those nights of her crying on your shoulder, wondering why she couldn’t be good enough for her father. from that moment, your hatred for your girlfriend’s father fueled with each passing day.

you taught her that being vulnerable wasn’t weak and that it was actually strong. to be honest, clarisse was skeptical because her girlfriend said the opposite of what she learned from her father. eventually, she got used to the idea, accepting only being vulnerable around you. that was good enough for her so it was good enough for you.

so, when it comes to be my turn

could you shine it down here for her?

clarisse laid on top of you, her head snuggled softly against your breasts with her arms around your waist. one of your hands held onto her head, scratching on her head softly as the other drew imaginary stars on her lower back.

“my beautiful beautiful, brave girl…” you cooed as you heard tiny sniffles from her, “you certainly are worth loving and you’re my entire world.

‘cause my love is mine, all mine

i love mine, mine, mine

“am i?” her lower lip trembles as she innocently stares up at you.

“you are my entire world,” you gently kiss her forehead as she places her head down onto your chest.

“you’re my whole world too,” she murmurs against your chest, either it was her sweet tone or that you were naturally ticklish which made you laugh wholeheartedly. clarisse’s face lights up, feeling the rumble from your chest as a smile erupts on her lips.

“nothing in the world belongs to me...” you sing softly into her ears, massaging her head, soothing her into a peaceful sleep alongside your peaceful embrace. “but my love mine, all mine...”

you lullabied her to sleep with your gentle singing, finally feeling at ease when you heard the light snores, smiling fondly at her. gods, clarisse was adorable. too adorable to disrupt her out of her sleep, resting comfortably on you, partially skin-to-skin.

“good night, my love.” you kissed her forehead, glimpsing at her small smile from the loving touch. turning off the lamp before refocusing onto clarisse, wrapping your arms around her waist and her head gently nuzzling into your neck, requiring very much close contact. soon enough, you drifted into sleep just as your beloved girlfriend did a few minutes ago, both content in each other’s arms, wishing to remain like that forever.

nothing in the world is mine for free

but my love mine, all mine, all mine…

likes, comments, and reblogs are highly appreciated!

© asvterias, 2024. please do not copy, repost or translate onto any other platforms without my permission.

[brekkie-e]

I need more people talking about how the ideal thematic party is Wyll, Karlach, and Astarion. All three bound in the shackles of servitude in some capacity, all three in some stage of being sold to hell.

Karlach and Astarion being two sides of the same coin. Years of servitude, physical and emotional torment, and rage under their belt. Nothing but the burning desire for revenge and the desperate ache to live flowing through their veins. They're both drunk on freedom and life. They get the other person, despite responding to their new found freedom in completely opposite ways. You can see it in their banter though. They get it. There is not a lot of judgement between them. If Karlach needs to laugh hysterically because she's here on the material plane, walking in the sun, and just can't believe it? Astarion can't even bring himself to judge.

But Wyll? Wyll is careening towards joining them in their suffering. He's got one foot in the door. He already knows a little of the pain that comes with being on the end of a leash, but he has only just begun to fully feel the consequences he is destined to face. The thing about Wyll though is he's desperate to save everyone but himself. He's quick to back Karlach and Astarion in their fights against their tormentors. But when it comes down to it he's fairly passive in his quest to free himself of Mizzora. Atleast in my experience, it fell to Tav to capitalize on oppurtunities to out think her. It fell to Tav to push him to TRY. That's not a critique on Wyll, but when you put that thematically next to Karlach and Astarion who are near feral in their desperation for freedom- it is really interesting. And it's easy to imagine the two of them becoming determined to ensure he doesn't fall victim to the same fates they did. He's trying to save them, while they're trying to save him.

Or, countering my own point, imagine how frustrating that would be for Karlach and Astarion. Knowing that this great guy, this larger than life hero who always has a silly pun and a dashing smile on hand- doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of his situation. He’s still smiling. He’s still soldiering on as though nothing is wrong. He’s not taking the initiative to escape it, and he’s not coming up with any possible solution. He’s content to keep spending his time helping people and putting them before his own needs. Now, Wyll isn’t necessarily as fine as he seems. He’s by no means ignorant of or unafraid of the fate that awaits him. But he puts on a good front, with that big old Charisma modifier of his. And I imagine that could easily drive Astarion and Karlach mad.

That’s without going in to the fact that Astarion has an infernal pact carved on his back, and will be sold to hell as well if he doesn’t find a solution. And he hits the ground running the moment he finds out. He is not about to let that happen, and goes to great lengths to find out how to fix the situation. So there is a contrast with Astarion and Wyll not only in their reaction to their own tormenter’s, but with their goal of evading hell.

Because of how each of these guys’ situation is so closely related to their own, I think many moments would arise of stepping on each other’s toes while processing their trauma. Karlach and Astarion know better than most what Wyll is going to go through if he doesn’t take this seriously, and he makes PUNS? If they could go back to the day before their lives changed forever, they would do everything possible to make sure it never happened. They didn’t get a warning. He has his written on paper. In glowing ink. There could be so many incredible arguments between these three because personality wise- more often than not it would be Karlach and Wyll agreeing. Which would make the moments Karlach ends up siding with Astarion because Wyll made light of something at the wrong time all the more poignant. Karlach and Astarion agreeing on something and being a united front trying to drag Wyll to action would be such a powerful scene.

It becomes even more fun when you consider their personalities. Wyll and Karlach being the indisputably kindest characters of the group, but being so narratively tied to the one who is morally bankrupt. When someone is altruistically good and helps people for no reason Astarion usually gets frustrated with the fact they don’t understand how cruel the world is. He doesn’t do that with Karlach. He can’t do that with Karlach. Because she’s him. She’s the part of him who rages and screams and let’s every swear word fly and embraces how much hurt she is carrying and how entirely unfair it is. He sees that in her and I think some part of him is validated by it. So when she is unbearably kind and refuses to believe that there’s no good left in the world, who is he to tell her she doesn’t know what she’s talking about. She has just as much baggage to back her up as he does. He just walks off and let’s her have it in most of the banter I’ve heard. The flip side, he validates her own need for vengeance and doesn’t let her feel like a bad person for enjoying taking her anger out. She deserves it after everything that’s been taken from her.

Wyll is a similar situation. He is a constant example of the goodness of humanity. A reminder that it is more important to remain true to oneself even at the expense of power or comfort. He stays true to himself, and is forced to abandon his home. He stays true to himself, and is forced to endure a form that is foreign to him. He stays true to himself, and forsakes the safety of the material plane. In the process, he sacrifices the powers of his pact. He willingly gives up the position of Grand Duke so that he can be the tool for good that he thinks the world needs. Of course, a million points can also be made about all that he’s willing to sacrifice if you go the route of maintaining his pact- but I’m working off of what I personally saw play out, which was destroy the pact but save the Grand Duke.

Wyll’s personality playing off Astarion’s selfishness is so interesting. The first things Astarion reaches for in every situation are power and comfort. Silk sheets, a good wine, unholy ascension- whatever the whim of the day is. Being forced into the company of someone who constantly reminds him there is a vastly different approach to life would both be frustrating and eye opening. Especially when that example is backed up by Karlach whom Astarion can’t help but respect and find oddly comforting. Vice versa, as Wyll is an example of selflessness to Astarion, he is an example of selfishness to Wyll. Where Wyll and Karlach drag Astarion kicking and screaming towards recovery, he might have his own soft moments of begging Wyll to put himself first. Just once. Being selfish about your needs does not make you a bad person. A dynamic made even better by Karlach being the background example that being unapologetic about your needs is okay. All of these little elements play off each other so well.

Now how do these guys come through for Karlach? Stability. Which is a word I NEVER thought to use in reference to Astarion before. But I’m serious. Day one of freedom for him? Where is his mind? Completely focused on how to make sure it lasts. How does he secure the situation. How does he make himself safe permanently? He is a self proclaimed ideas man, not much of a planner. And yet, he IS coming up with ideas. He is thinking ahead about the future, and planning to take every chance he can to secure his freedom. Karlach is living in the moment, taking each day as a blessing and not letting fears of the future hold her back. And she deserves that. But it’s good for her to have someone pulling her back to earth and reminding her to do more than live in the moment when it comes to the big things. I’m serious, if they all three put their heads together and worked as a team not only would they be able to accomplish anything- the found family potential is absolutely limitless.

So- long story short. I personally find them to be the most satisfying and interesting party dynamic you can play with. It’s rewarding on a lot of levels, and also has some of the best friendship dialogues in the game. Which I’ve noticed there just isn’t a lot of friend-centric commentary or scenes in the base game, but this party does seem to get more than other’s I’ve worked with. I think that’s a larger issue than just which party build you run with, but I do enjoy that you can get a satisfying found family feel with this crew. Of course, romancing them as eachother also works pretty well too- the dynamics are just as good for that. Personally, I enjoy romancing Astarion and then keeping Karlach and Wyll as besties, but there’s a lot of ways you can run with it.

[theaceace]

I know that canonically (show-wise, at least) St Hilarion's worked to cover up Charles' death, and nothing was ever really done about the disappearance of Edwin and the other boys, but even so, do you think the school has a reputation for being haunted??

I'm imagining Niko following various ghost-hunter groups online, especially when the agency doesn't have many cases going on, and occasionally the boys will mirror hop over to an interesting-sounding location, and they'll even get a real case as a result

So when she tells them that one of the teams is planning to investigate St Hilarion's (either it's been closed for a while or they have special permission to go during the summer holidays), Edwin and Charles steel themselves and decide to go, in case there are other ghosts there that need help ('can't imagine a worse place to be trapped for the rest of my afterlife' says Charles, who has been to literal hell. Edwin, who spent 70 years in literal hell, agrees)

So they go, with Niko and Crystal as moral/emotional support, except when they get there they realise they've fucked up and are there on the same day/night as the ghost hunters. They could come back some other time, but what if there really are ghosts here that are suffering? No one wants to take that chance, so Crystal uses her powers to convince them that she and Niko are there for work experience, or are friends of a friend, or are here to replace one of the tech guys who called in sick

Both Charles and Edwin are tense and uncomfortable returning to the place they died - Edwin had gone there after he escaped Hell because he didn't know where else to go, but they've built themselves a home now with the agency. This isn't like before, when it was the closest place to familiar he could find. Charles, meanwhile, feels colder and colder the longer they're there - his hair is wet, there are bruises flaring and spreading, and a faint rattle in his chest that would have become pneumonia if he'd lived long enough

But they need to be sure there aren't any other lost ghosts stuck here that need their help crossing over, so they keep going

(maybe, as a consequence of a door to hell being opened in the school, there are unusual happenings, maybe there's still a place where the line between earth and hell is very thin, maybe there's some fragment of a demon left behind, and they can do something about it)

Anyway, the most important thing is that Charles, either accidentally or in a fit of pique at the whole situation, knocks something over just as one of the paranormal investigators is asking for spirits to make their presence known. In fact, this happens repeatedly - the boys move things, change things around, their presence is detected somehow with the equipment. Crystal and Niko are doing their best to distract the team and ruin as much of the footage as possible, and at least once the boys do something on purpose, maybe because someone is being a creep to the girls (and yes, they both know that Crystal and Niko are more than capable of taking care of themselves, but this way scares the asshole more and is also funnier), and then also to fuck with their readings

Anyway, it's coming to the end of the night, the problem has been identified, and whaddaya knows, of course it's in the attic where they both died. This is fine, why wouldn't it be fine. They get started, draw some (invisible, ghostly) runes and start working their magic when, of course, the paranormal investigators turn up, because this is thought to be the most 'active' area of the school, and the body of a schoolboy was found here in the 80s

Yeah, they try to contact 'any of the boys who disappeared in 1916' and Charles. It would be fine if they weren't so irritatingly loud, Edwin's trying to concentrate, and Charles is now shivering and dripping wet, but they managed to ignore the team right up until they start speculating that Charles was killed by one of the angry spirits from 1916

At which point, Charles - half visible, clearly enraged, looking very much like the half-drowned and frozen kid he was, like a proper ghost - tells them to fuck off already before they get hurt, they don't understand anything, and how dare they give a shit now when it's too late

Which is, of course, the exact moment Edwin finishes the spell, and causes some sort of a magical rebound that fritzes the cameras for a second, throws furniture around, and knocks them all flying. When the cameras start up again, they catch Edwin kneeling by Charles, holding his hand, and softly telling him that it's ok, it's over, they can go now. Charles sniffs and smiles and knocks their foreheads together and says yeah, let's get out of here, and together they fade from view

The investigators think this means gay love can pierce the veil of death and save the day that now that the truth of their story is known the ghosts have moved on, and it's all thanks to them! How beautiful, how wonderful, how affirming! Perhaps one of the boys from 1916 tried to help Charles, and when that didn't work, they both stayed to try and protect other people from these violent spirits, and now their unfinished business is finished! It's so tragic and touching story

Charles and Edwin, who are putting their tools back in the backpack, roll their eyes and smile at each other

On the way out, Charles swipes the memory cards from the cameras, Edwin inscribes a couple of sneaky runes on various pieces of equipment to fuck with it, and Crystal uses her powers to make sure they all remember a couple of details differently, so later they won't be able to agree on a bunch of stuff

The episode they were trying to make can't be released, their social media posts about the experience are full of details that don't match up, and fans are bitterly disappointed

Crystal and Niko watch the footage Charles stole with Jenny and the Night Nurse back at the agency. Jenny turns it into a drinking game. Charles does a dramatic reading of the posts with added commentary while Edwin pretends he's not laughing. They buy t-shirts of the paranormal investigators and wear them ironically. They leave anonymous comments

Just. The dead boy detectives having to work around ghost hunters, in a world where ghosts definitely, tangibly exist

[allaboutthemoonlight]

Understanding the Difference Between Hard Work and Workaholism, and Self-Care Strategies for Avoiding Burnout

Hi friends,

In today’s post, I want to talk about the idea of hard-work vs workaholism and the resulting consequence of burnout. It’s a longer post today because I believe this is something that many people are dealing with, especially in this space.

In the self-improvement and personal development bubble, there’s a constant culture of ambition and striving for improvement. While the intention behind this can be rewarding, it can sometimes fall into toxic territory with constant encouragement of and sentiments such as “just work harder” or “you‘re not disciplined enough”, often leading people to exhaust and overwork themselves.

Due to this, I'd like to discuss the significance of distinguishing between hard work and workaholism — both for productivity and well-being. While hard work can indeed lead to success and fulfillment, workaholism can result in burnout and physical and mental health issues. Recognizing the distinction between these two and equipping oneself with self-care strategies is essential for leading a balanced, healthy life.

What is hard work?

Hard work can vary from person to person, and it’s the same for everyone. Generally, hard work can be described as dedicated and focused effort towards achieving a specific goal. This can mean anything from daily runs to train for a marathon to watching numerous youtube tutorials to learn how to code.

The point here is that, although hard work involves a certain level of persistence, discipline, and strong work ethic, there’s often rewarding outcomes as you know you’re making progress towards something you want to achieve.

Understanding if you’re a hard worker or someone suffering from workaholism dictates a high level of self-reflection and introspection. In my experience, hard workers are those who:

Have a clear understanding of what they want to achieve

Are action oriented and know the purpose behind their efforts

Have the ability to achieve a work/life balance

Are either intrinsically motivated and have a high level of identified motivation

Maintain an internal locus of control

Know when to take breaks

Being a hard worker is a significant skill, one that can lead to personal development, growth, and multiple career opportunities, these are facts that can’t be denied. However, in our current environment where an individuals worth is often determined by their accomplishments and successes, the line between working hard and being a workaholic has been blurred.

Understanding workaholism

Now that we’ve talked about what exactly makes a hard-worker, I want to uncover the other reality: workaholism.

Workaholism is an uncontrollable and compulsive need to work constantly. It comes from feelings of from anxiety, perfectionism, or a desire to escape personal issues. This includes:

Obsessively thinking about work

Struggling to relax or unwind outside of work

Ignoring personal relationships and self-care

Feeling physically drained with fatigue and insomnia

Multiple studies have explored the mental and physical impacts of workaholism, revealing impacts such as high levels of chronic stress, anxiety, depression, fatigue, cardiovascular issues, among others. It’s truly an exhaustive list of consequences, all of which can lead to burnout and emotional exhaustion. Beyond mental and physical health risks, the effects of workaholism can include professional issues. It’s ironic that overworking oneself can have a negative impact on your career, yet there’s a higher likelihood of decreased job performance and strained professional relationships as a result.

I think Jordan Peterson said it best: “You don’t want to do so much work that the amount of you do interferes with the amount of work you could still do”.

Here are some of the key differences between hard work and workaholism to keep in mind:

Purpose and Motivation: Hard work is driven by intentional goals and motivation, while workaholism tends to be more compulsive.

Work-Life Balance: Hard workers manage to balance their professional and personal lives, while workaholics often neglect their personal life and self-care.

Sustainability: Hard work is sustainable over time with breaks for rest and recovery, whereas workaholism leads to burnout due to its unsustainable nature.

Control Over Work: Hard workers can regulate their work habits and take breaks when needed, while workaholics often feel out of control and struggle to stop working.

Stress Levels: Hard work can be stressful but usually within healthy limits, while workaholism leads to chronic stress and health problems.

What is burnout and how can we prevent it

With all that being said, I want to move on to clearly defining burnout and how we can avoid it. Burnout is a work-related state of exhaustion where you feel extreme fatigue, have a hard time concentrating, suffer from emotional dysregulation and poor cognitive function, and mentally distance yourself from the people around you.

Burnout doesn't happen all at once; it's a gradual process that builds up over time, often linked to workaholism. When you’re constantly in a mental state of go-go-go or feel the need to work excessively, you’ll start feeling stressed out from trying to meet all these demands. Over time, if you don’t find ways to take breaks and rest to recharge, you’ll lose energy and find yourself in a state of burnout.

This all happens because burnout leads to emotional exhaustion, detachment from work and others in your life, and a decreased sense of personal accomplishment and motivation.

So how can we prevent this?

There are 5 domains in our lives that we can pay more attention to for preventing burnout: physical, mental/emotional, social, work, and personal/leisure.

Physical Well-being:

Find a form of physical activity you enjoy and do it regularly

Take short breaks during work sessions to stretch and move around

Maintain a balanced diet to sustain energy levels

Get enough each night to support brain function during the day

Mental and Emotional Well-being:

Practice mindfulness techniques and meditation to reduce stress

Practice gratitude daily to adopt a positive mindset

Use deep breathing exercises to calm your mind and body.

Social Support and Relationships:

Seek help when needed through therapy, counseling, or support groups

Make time to connect with family and friends outside of work

Set boundaries for maintaining balance by defining working hours and learn to say no

Workplace Strategies:

Try to opt for projects or tasks in your work that align with personal goals and preferences

Try to schedule meetings to obtain feedback from your higher ups so that you have clear measures on your performance can identity areas for improvement

Find ways to make your work fun to sustain motivation and satisfaction in your work

Leisure and Relaxation:

Schedule leisure activities throughout your day to recharge

Dedicate time to hobbies and interests outside of work

Spend time in nature to connect with the environment and reduce mental fatigue

Thank’s for tuning in.

As always,

L <3

[stellocchia]

I had a dream where Blue and Killer got bodyswapped and, when they first found out, they were both happy about it.

Killer because he thought he could have an easy and relaxed time until he figured out how to switch them back (because he still wanted to go back to Dust, Horror, and Cross so he immediately knew he had to actively look into how).

And Blue because at least now he got to let off some steam without caring about the consequences (because they still retained the other person's soul somehow? Only their conscience got switched).

Only then, both get confronted with how shit the other person's life is.

Killer isn't used to experiencing emotions constantly anymore, so that's already tiring for him. And I like to think that Blue has hyper-empathy syndrome on top of that. And that one comes with a not-so-fun set of symptoms like:

Heightened sense of empathy to the point where you full-on experience other people's emotions when they do, physical pain response when seeing others getting hurt (also heightened pain sensitivity), feeling inadequate, unworthy, or guilty when you're unable to help others (as that tends to become a big part of the person's identity), emotional dysregulation, harder time recognizing other people as autonomous, social anxiety, struggle maintaining personal boundaries, being more prone to self-isolation due to the frequent onslaught of negativity, a tendency toward developing codependent relationships.

Now, Killer struggles with some of this stuff as well (see a tendency to end up in codependent relationships, emotional dysregulation, struggles recognizing others as autonomous beings, and struggles maintaining personal boundaries) but most of them are new sensations and they're not easy to handle.

Pair that with the fact that Blue is constantly on the move helping AUs and getting barely any breaks because both of his teammates are old immortals who don't realize that he's struggling to keep up and that working with them is literally a form of self-harm and, yeah. Buddy's not having a great time.

He also recognizes that Blue's relationship with Dream is basically the flip side of his relationship with Nightmare. He is dependent on Nightmare to keep him empty because emotions on Stage 1 are Hell, and Blue is dependent on Dream to drown out the constant onslaught of negativity and his heightened pain responses. Neither of them can leave without suffering for it and it sucks. It sucks especially because, in Blue's body, he can't help but care about it.

On the other side, Blue found himself suddenly dealing with the Stage switches, determination-induced hallucinations (which, for him, take on the shape of his brother, as that's the one he's left behind and that keeps haunting him), chronic pain that he cannot simply beg Dream to numb for him, and the awful conditions he and the others are kept in at the castle.

Not to consider that, while he thought he could vent his frustrations without care, it's made very obvious from the start that Killer has three whole people relying on him. So he cannot actually afford not to care despite his emotions regarding them feeling so muted. And they have a LOT of issues. Dust and Horror have hair-trigger tempers and they often try to goade him into fighting to release pressure (because that's something Killer does for them), and Cross needs to be reminded who he is and where he is often. And so does XChara who Blue didn't even know existed until this switch.

And that's all while Blue is struggling to even remember who he is half the time and has to also deal with Nightmare's quite frankly abysmal understanding of personal space and boundaries regarding touch. Blue soon starts to think that these bitches need a union because damn. Like, he ain't getting paid either for his work with the Star Sanses, but this is worse.

Also, this experience helps both Killer and Blue to contextualize that time Blue tried to help Killer but went about it the wrong way. Because Killer now understands how Blue thinks. He understand that it is a genuine struggle for him to let others make their own choices when he's directly affected by the consequences. And Blue understands how little personal agency Killer is afforded in his day-to-day life. And how shitty it was to try to push him into getting helped how he thought was best, disregarding his opinions.

Basically, after they return in their own bodies, these two befriend each other.

And the dream ended with both of them helping the other to leave their toxic workplace environment and reconnecting with the healthy relationships in their life (Blue helps MTT+Cross getting to the Epic Sanses and Killer helping Blue get back to his universe and getting back to his brother)

[marimayscarlett]

Priest RZK? Priest RZK. That's some gourmet shit right there. Discuss.

Hi 👀

Ah yes. The age old brainrot of Priest RZK which is still going strong, caused by the infamous music video which also brought us, apart from a very fabulous Richard, a suave Monk-Olli and yet another Schneider with a puppy-moment, which still causes people to lose it every other day:

Now, to examine this fascination with Priest RZK properly, it's somewhat important to look at some general and at some more specific points regarding the attraction to priests and men of the church:

First and foremost, they're meant to be celibate (at least in the catholic church, which is my point of view here). They're actually unattainable and off limits as a romantic and/or sexual partner since they vowed loyalty and love to the church and are definitely not meant to stray from this path in any way. Which kind of, if we use theological terms here, makes them some kind of 'forbidden fruit' so to speak.

-> If a priest, who vowed to be celibate, desires someone, it can become a test of his vocation, which can have life-altering consequences, emotional turmoil, unrequired longing and love and maybe ultimately even a secret affair - a whole lot of potential drama, which can be quite a thrill for some people.

They are (or should be in the best case) there for people in need. Listening to concerns, giving out advice, keeping secrets to themselves and overall representing some form of (fatherly) confidant and advisor, most of the time in one-on-one conversations - roles which can become quite loaded with emotion and emotional intimacy, so to speak.

-> Priests can be (for some religious women, like here) an embodiment for care and security, like a safe dream vision to project inner longings on without running the risk of being disappointed (since acting on these feelings is out of question).

In the linked articled above, a survey among catholic women gathered the following typical traits for a priest in women's eyes: 'different to other men’, he ‘pays attention to me’, ‘listens to me’, is ‘sensitive’ and ‘intelligent’; thus oftentimes traits these women miss in their own lives/relationships. Attraction to priests can point in the direction of "a search for both alternative models of masculinity and alternative experiences of male authority" (especially for women who suffered under these social structures, but not only) - a man which moves outside of the common norms and male behaviour patterns.

Regarding Richard, I can imagine that the following thoughts might come into play when it comes to the insane attraction of the concept of him as a priest:

Richard in priest robes looks so good, so modest and serious, and so wrong. Since we kind of know he's not the most steady person regarding relationships and definitely does not live anywhere near the realms of celibacy, this contrast between his way of life and that of a priest can be quite alluring and in my mind creates the picture of a somehow corrupt and opportunistic priest, which absolutely does not help. (Not thinking about him piously celebrating mass and then making you drop to your knees in the confessional 5 minutes later, nope)

Richard is a great listener and very interesting and interested conversation partner, so he would make a great priest regarding giving out advice and listening to problems and sorrows. To confide in him in a private setting, only for the situation to turn out like this is a brainrot which accompanies me for quite some time now 👍🏼

The terminology of adressing him. Quoting 'Fleabag' here:

This (or to be the reason the poor priest has to turn to drastic measures to keep his desires in check, what a dream):

Conclusion: Every day, we stray further away from God on here and do so in lightning speed 👌🏼

[fl3shm4id3n]

Can you do a scarlet witch reader that’s been experimented on by the rda and is saved by jake and becomes attached to him because he reminds her of her brother?

ₐ Bᵣₒₜₕₑᵣ Fₒᵣ ₐ Bᵣₒₜₕₑᵣ

𝐒𝐮𝐦𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐲: 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐛𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐰𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐛𝐣𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐑𝐃𝐀, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐫𝐲𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐛𝐨𝐭𝐡 𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐨 𝐰𝐞𝐚𝐩𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐨 𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚'𝐯𝐢. 𝐁𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐬𝐨𝐫𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐧𝐧𝐨𝐜𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐞𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐫. 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐤𝐞𝐩𝐭 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐟𝐞𝐞𝐭, 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐡𝐚𝐝 𝐠𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧.

ᴊᴀᴋᴇ ꜱᴜʟʟʏ x ᴀᴅᴏᴘᴛᴇᴅ ꜱɪꜱᴛᴇʀ! ᴍᴜᴛᴀɴᴛ! ʀᴇᴀᴅᴇʀ(ᴘʟᴀᴛᴏɴɪᴄ)

Tw: death of relatives, experimenting on a child, RDA scientists are assholes, physical and emotional abuse, isolation, reader becomes mute at some point.

A/N: I know nothing about Wanda, but I tried my best, I hope you like this and have a good day/night and are staying healthy.

Masterlist

You and your brother were orphans living with RDA in Pandora. Your parents had died while out in the field, leaving you and your brother. This kind of info was perfect for the RDA, they have been meaning to try out some kind of experiments on a duo. You and your brother were the perfect duo to do it on, you no guardian and it'd be easier for them to manipulate you both.

Your brother was the one to go first, since he wanted to keep you safe from the scientists. You remember hearing the screaming of your brother and begging for them to stop, but they didn't. Then it was your turn, your brother tried to get them to leave you alone, but they didn't. Just like your brother, you had suffered the same consequences.

Then came the punishments, if you didn't do what you were told, then you'd be placed in isolation for a long time. Away from your brother, it was torture not being close to your brother. When you'd be out of Isolation, you' go straight to your brother and hug him tightly, fearing that he'd vanish. When your powers began to kick in, was when things got worse.

You'd be kept in isolation more and you wouldn't see your brother as much. It was torture, your powers would act out by your emotions due to your age. You had telekinesis, and due to your strong emotion you'd cause things to go flying and breaking things. It got worse and stronger everytime.

One time that you got a chance to see you brother, he had to leave with some people in the field. You didn't want him to go, but he did. He had promised you that he'd return and you'd spend time together. When he left out that door, he never came up. You just knew that he was dead. Now you were truly alone.

When you were placed in your room, you broke everything. Your toys were shredded to pieces, your books had been turn apart along with your sheets, pillows. Everything you destroyed in your room. Since then you just stopped talking. You wouldn't talk to no one, you'd just be silent, no one word did you say after that.

Years had passed, you were now fifteen, still you had not said a word. You saw on purpose in talking. You were allowed to roam around the lab since you were now older. You'd often just sit around in the lab, staying out of people's way.

The only person you'd interact with with Doctor Grace Augustine, she new what happened to you and your brother, she felt horrible for you having to live without any of your family. She had become some kind of mother figure. She knew that you didn't talk, so you'd communicate though writing on a small notepad you began to carry around, or sticky notes. You'd leave sticky notes around her desk for her to read and she'd do the same.

Until you met Jake Sully, you were sitting on your own in a table, playing chess by yourself. Moving the pieces with your powers, he'd approached you and said hi, but all you did just stare at him, then went back to your game. He still tried to make small talk but you just ignored him, believing he was just like everyone else. But he wasn't going to give up easily.

As the time passed, he continued to try and talk with you, but you never said a word to him. When he saw how you and Grace would communicate, he began to do the same. He began to leave you sticky notes, leaving them on the places you'd normally hang out. At first you didn't reply to them, but you did eventually.

You leave Jake sticky notes for him to read, due to him and Grace leaving for the Avatar Program, Grace had given you one of those Pads so that you can send her messages. So you did, you sent her, Jake and Norm messages everyday. You also began to hang around Max and Trudy more, you only hanged around with the people Jake and Grace would talk to since not everyone in the RDA is a good person.

Things got bad after three months of Jake's mission, but he wasn't going fully like he was ordered to. Him along with Grace and Norm had fallen for Pandora and were willing to not cause the Omaticaya harm. Even though you haven't met the Omaticaya like they did, you agreed with them. The RDA had already done enough harm to them and other, they needed to be stopped.

When Max and Trudy planned to break out Jake, Grace and Norm, you went with them. You used your powers to break them out, you had wanted to go with them, but Jake had told you to stay with Max, he needed people to help from the inside and to keep you safe since you have never been outside the compound, you didn't want to at first, then Jake had promised you that he'll return. Those words brought back memories, when your brother had told you the same thing and never returned. You listened anyway and warned him that he better come back in one piece.

You and Max were keeping them inform on what was happening. When you found out about Grace's death, you wanted to break everything that you came across, just like when your brother had died, but you kept yourself strong and continued with the mission.

Just like how Jake asked, you, Max and other scientists in the Avatar program helped. While they got linked into their avatar's, you had stayed with them incase guard tried to break in and stop them, but thankfully they didn't. Max had destroyed the communication room and the avatars invaded, threatening to shoot them if they tried any funny business.

The war was over, the Na'vi had won, thanks to Jake, or Toruk Makto for that matter. Some had died, but they died heroes, protecting the na'vi from the RDA. Some of the scientists had stayed, the rest of the RDA was sent back. Those who had stayed were the ones that helped the na'vi from the inside like promised. You had stayed as well, you didn't want to go where those parasites went, Pandora is and will forever be your home.

Jake had become your care taker, he didn't have to but he did. Even after he had become a full na'vi, he still took care of you. You began to call him your brother, you saw so much of your brother in him. It was almost as if, due to your brother's absence, he sent Jake to you. Jake had a brother too, but he was also gone, he never had a little sister, but he began to see you as such.

You both began to refer to on another as brother and sister. You began to go outside more, thanks to the experiments done on you, you were able to breath the toxic air of Pandora. You had also met the Omaticaya people through Jake. When you'd get introduced to other, you'd be introduced as Jake Sully's sister. Neytiri wasn't very fond of Humans, but she was good with you. She liked you the moment you both met, she had instantly began calling you Tsmuke, her sister as well.

Since then on you had been their with them, in the good and in the bad times. You had become very attached to Jake, it would be considered annoying to others, but it was understandable. You had lost your whole family and had found a new one, in both Jake and Neytiri. You had better control of your powers thanks to your brother's help.

Then the Neteyam was born, at first you were scared you'd hurt him but Neytiri insisted in you holding him, so you did. He was a huge baby compared to a human infant. Even though you had lost your brother, you had gained another, as well as a family.

[beatmyfeet]

Are Women the New Dominant Sex?

Investigating the Impact of Feminism on Masculine Roles and Identity

Lauren Boothby part 3/4

Political Correctness

The flourishing of women’s study departments at prestigious universities, and the legitimacy of feminist theory exemplifies women’s privileged minority status. It is ideologically reputable to advocate for women’s issues, women’s rights, and women’s opinions. Once more, I hold to the conviction that feminist theory is largely beneficial. I would not be able to critique feminism had I not been allowed to receive a higher education. I also accede that women’s issues are separate from men’s, and subsequently, I value these practices and theories. However, I find it necessary to expose the ideological prominence and acceptance of feminism. It is unacceptable for men to speak of “men’s issues” or pursue “men’s studies.” If men challenge the prevailing dogma and insist on male-specific material and programs, women retort that the whole of history is written by men, and other disciplines are products of patriarchy. I do not dispute this fact; however, I do believe that contemporary men are in a markedly different position than those preceding them. Western men are now ideologically disadvantaged, and ergo men’s issues should be respected, as they are also valuable human beings whose life experiences are different than that of women.

An example of feminist dominance is Nancy Chodorow’s psychoanalysis. She was at first influenced by Sigmund Freud’s misogynistic theories where women suffer from “penis envy” and identity is connected to the relationship with the father. Chodorow provides an alternative analysis, suggesting that it is, in fact, the relationship with the mother that is essential to identity formation (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). Men define identity by detaching from the mother, but as a result, they lose their ability to connect emotionally (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). This is another example of men being defined by what they are not, and in relation to women. According to her theory, men are unable to provide the emotional intimacy needed by women because of learned detachment from their mothers (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). Women consequently turn to mothering to satisfy their desires for intimacy (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). Again, men are herein defined by negatives, or by lack. Had this theory been reversed, Chodorow would today be labeled misogynistic and sexist. Her theory is, however, academically legitimate, although blatantly sexist. This is the result of the ideological authority of feminism, and suggests a progression toward matriarchy. Both Freud’s and Chodorow’s theories are useful to a degree, but both are limited and sexist. It is also necessary to discuss the disadvantaged position of men in light of the ideas of the Marxist feminist theorist Dorothy Smith. Standpoint theory argues one’s standpoint and reality differs according to one’s life experiences and gender (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). Her theory is invaluable for understanding the different experiences of women. At this point, I wish to rework her theories in order to examine the position of Western men. Smith’s theory suggests that “in modern, Western societies, social domination operates through texts...that facilitate social control” (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). Her relations of ruling add that media, organizations, and bureaucracies are connected to cultural, technical, and scientific discourses that coordinate them (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). She argues that sociological knowledge lacks the inclusion of lived experiences, and issues important to women have been overlooked (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). In a sense, I agree with her theory, but only insofar as to ironically point out how relations of ruling surrounding dominant feminist ideology legitimate the domination of men. Are women’s lived experienced more real than those of men? Smith’s theory indicates a feminine bias. Lived experiences certainly contribute to practical applications of sociology, but both men and women have “lived experiences.” I argue Smith’s theory is useful inasmuch as it is applied equally to both men and women. Her theory appears to suggest that relations of ruling are connected to patriarchy. This theory becomes problematic unless the perpetrators of domination continue to be investigated, whether they are male or, as it now often stands, female.

The Silent Man

It is politically, socially, and academically acceptable to criticize men, and so men are now engaging in self-sanctioning behavior. Michel Foucault’s understanding of Jeremy Bentham’s Panopticon, suggests that the threat of surveillance provokes internal controls (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). As the dominant ideology, feminism silences men who oppose it. Men are members of Foucault’s disciplinary society and self-regulate their behavior to that which is politically correct. Feminists are not known for inflicting penal punishment on male deviants. For Foucault, the stage of punishment from the nineteenth century forward is concerned less with physical punishment than with surveillance and punishment through social systems (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). The threat of surveillance by decentralized power coerces behavior and creates “self-induced complicity with the rules” (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). This type of coercion is far more insidious than physical punishment (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). Feminist ideology asserts its domination through this decentralized power system. Examples of the multiple arenas of domination can be found in Canadian law. Affirmative action policies act as party whips, ensuring that men do not deviate from their subservient position to women.

The prevalence of stupid men on television legitimates the negative sanctions by the intelligent woman, and justifies the radical feminist belief in the idiot man stereotype. Men that engage in sexism or antifeminist behavior receive punishment for deviating from norms. Ergo, men that do not self-sanction are seen as buffoons, sexist pigs, and are not respected.

The Irrationality of Rationality

My final point regarding dominant feminist ideology is that – especially as it is connected to postmodernism, and based on rationality and ideals of fairness and equality – these ideologies have built immunity to criticism. As these ideologies are connected to ‘reason,’ they become dogmatic. It is not the state of economics, as Marxists would believe, or patriarchy, as feminists argue, but the corrupted rationality of reason that is responsible for social evils. Theorists of the Frankfurt school, as influenced by Hegelian idealism, challenged what they referred to as “the totalitarianism of reason and rationality” (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). Georg W. F. Hegel argued that reality was produced by individual understanding of ideas, how information is categorized, and that utopia can only be found when understanding of reason approaches reality as decreed by God (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011). I argue that both Marxist feminism and postmodern or poststructural theorists such as those of Jean Baudrillard result in the inability of men to negate or critique what becomes established as absolute truth. It should be noted that the disillusion of “absolute truth” – although feminism in fact relies on a specific understanding of a “True” morality – defies criticism and creates an inability to negate its assertions. The existential crisis now characteristic of contemporary men is directly related to this. Postmodern theory declares “there is no truth;” while feminism declares “there is only my truth.” The destruction of previous gender norms must be seen as directly connected to postmodernism and the rejection of the idea of “Truth.” The combination seems illogical, nevertheless both ideologies ironically demand totality of belief as there is no view but their own. This leads me to suggest that the rationality inherent in radical feminist ideology is in fact, irrational, and the built resistance to criticism, as influenced by postmodernism and poststructuralism, leads to dangerous totalitarianism. This is related to Herbert Marcuse’s concept of technological rationality which demands unquestioned conformity to the “correct way” of understanding the world (Appelrouth & Edles, 2011).

Conclusion

The domination of men by women is facilitated by ideology. The most clever and efficient way to win a battle is to conquer the enemy’s mind. From a subservient mind follows a subordinate body, and so men have been brainwashed by drinking too much sexy pink Kool-Aid. But who is to blame for this toppling of power? Unfortunately, men have no one to blame but themselves. Karl Marx, a man, may be seen as an early contributor. Marx’s theory of the oppressed masses is appealing; it not surprising that feminism recycles his theory for their purposes. Simply replace “men” with “bourgeois” and, voila!; you have successfully legitimated women in supplanting men. Additionally, male-created ideologies of postmodernism such as those of Baudrillard, legitimate the destruction of normative gender roles which previously benefitted male power. Women, although previously the oppressed under patriarchy, have become the oppressors as a matriarchal society evolves in Western countries like Canada. As a woman, I am quick to acknowledge that I have received numerous benefits from feminism and progressive, liberal political advances. Conversely, I propose that men have not only been removed from positions of privilege, but have been replaced by women to the extent that they are rendered useless. Women no longer need husbands, and so heterosexual masculinity has been challenged in a manner that has not provided alternatives to the social roles removed. Feminism ought to be used to promote equality of the sexes, and as women are now dominating men in several arenas, it is time to re-evaluate positions of advantage and disadvantage, and make necessary changes to both laws and common understandings of average lower and middle class men who are most painfully impacted.

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hi MBTI-notes. INFJ here. Many thanks for your tremendous insights. Your analysis of unhealthy INFJ’s has been absolutely spot on for me. I can see that I can be incredibly, sometimes laughably, unrealistic, have great difficulty being present, and alternate between too cynical and too trusting.

However, despite knowing about the INFJ weaknesses for several years now thanks to your blog, I keep making these mistakes. Some feel harder to change than others - like the difficulty focusing that, in my case, seems similar to ADHD.

I am trying a variety of things including finding the right mentors to bring me back to reality and hold me accountable, DBT, and improvements to basic physical self-care like sleep. I might also consider getting on medications for bipolar I (a diagnosis I have received due to two manic episodes, although they’re not sure if I need to be on meds) or ADHD.

In your experience, what is necessary to successfully close the gap between simply knowing about my problematic patterns and actually changing them? I am really hoping that improvements in emotional intelligence via DBT will close the gap, and also am trying to be more systematic about maintaining and improving my interpersonal relationships. Maybe it will be a combination of many small things like mastering physical health and routines, realistic goals, the right mentors, discipline, etc.

(From the INFJ who mentioned bipolar I). As an addendum, I just wanted to mention that the two episodes definitely involved some psychotic thoughts and behavior, but it's unclear if they fit a traditional manic episode, as I've not experienced periods of little sleep but high energy. It’s quite possible that BPD is a better explanation due to a connection in both cases with a romantic interest. I just wanted to mention this in case it impacted your response at all.

----------------------

"Knowing" about problems means being in possession of the facts, so it comes mainly through observation and gathering information. A lot of people go through life not knowing how problematic their thinking/behavior really is until they get critical feedback or generate very negative consequences. Even then, perhaps they still can't admit to having a problem and they use defense mechanisms such as denial to avoid confronting the truth. Getting through these defenses can be an arduous process. Even though knowing is really only the first step, it can already be quite a difficult step.

If knowing is only the first step, it means it's not enough. More is required. Knowing is not the same as "understanding". Understanding comes mainly through developing self-awareness, which involves the capacity to perceive and evaluate oneself accurately and objectively. Self-awareness can be described as low/high or shallow/deep. To improve self-awareness usually involves going inward, through reflection and introspection, to discover the roots and mechanisms behind psychological issues.

If knowing is about grasping the facts, understanding is about being able to provide a proper explanation of the facts. For example, a lot of people feel low self-confidence very acutely but they have no idea about how it came to pass or why they suffer. When you don't understand your thinking/behavior, it means you don't know the causes of it, the motivations behind it, or the factors that contributed to its manifestation.

That said, when people know but don't understand their problem, they are still capable of some small self-improvement. Generally speaking, they'll seek out advice from those in the know and try to discover some common rules, methods, or procedures for dealing with the problem, which allows them to become more functional in daily life. However, while they can improve a bit, their growth tends to be limited because it remains unclear whether the solution they've found is the correct one. Perhaps they feel some relief or progress, but it doesn't really seem long-lasting. Why? Knowing without understanding means every "fix" you try is basically blind and random experimentation. If something works for awhile, you don't understand why. If something doesn't work, you don't understand what went wrong. This is one reason why self-help methods have a high rate of failure; they simply don't get deep enough into the problem, so self-awareness remains too low.

Using the example of low self-confidence to illustrate, different people suffer for different reasons. For Person A, perhaps it's because of fear of failure that creates too much anxiety to feel confident. For Person B, perhaps it's because they lack knowledge and skill, so they feel too incompetent to approach tasks confidently. Person B needs to improve their knowledge and skill through learning and practice in order to feel more confident. But this remedy isn't going to work for Person A. Regardless of how knowledgeable or skilled Person A is, they will continue to fear failure, because it is an entirely separate issue that remains unaddressed by Person B's remedy. If you were looking to the above two cases for inspiration, you wouldn't get very far without knowing YOUR individual reasons for suffering low self-confidence.

It sounds like you are still in the stage of knowing - gathering the facts about your issues in order to name/label them correctly. It's good you've gotten some practical advice for managing your issues. Using the INFJ functional stack to frame the issues also seems to have been helpful for improving your self-awareness. However, what I'm still not seeing is true understanding. You haven't yet discovered the underlying causes/mechanisms and aren't able to provide an accurate and objective explanation of why you suffer from these issues. In short, it's just harder to solve a problem when you don't know the cause or how it arose.

This is probably one reason why you're running into difficulty with getting clear official diagnoses. People often view an official diagnosis as "the answer", but oftentimes the label is just a way to describe a particular set of symptoms. It doesn't reveal enough about what's really going on underneath the surface. The process of talk therapy ought to be aimed at making better sense of the symptoms, so it's important to pair any pharmaceutical interventions with talk therapy.

I never want to discourage people from self-improvement. I appreciate your willingness to seek out answers. You asked me what might be lacking in your approach and I've given you my best guess. You've focused a lot on "doing" and "following", implementing some commonsense strategies like physical self-care and learning from good mentors. This is certainly a step in the right direction. But from the perspective of analytical psychology, you haven't done enough to go within to understand your own individual psyche. It is likely that working on your emotional intelligence through DBT will deepen your self-awareness. But, at this early stage, there is no way for me to predict if it will "close the gap". If you care about understanding yourself better, be willing to take your therapist's reflections and inquiries as deep as you can go with them.

[kingofangst]

Seven Ten Sentence Sunday Wednesday

I saw this now and I must make amends. Thank you for the tag @arewordsenough

This part of The Wings Of An Enigmatic is currently still in the drafts because I am going to post chapter 5 Sunday. This draft takes place in chapter 7 and a certain heroine decides to bring Seraph into her circle as a friend and confidant after the events of Night School.

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

"Seraph," her soft voice, filled with uncertainty and apprehensiveness, trails off in Seraph's ears, as he awaits her next words, "Do you think I made the right decision?" And this is where Seraph knew he must word his response properly to Allison.

On one hand, the unforeseen circumstances and situation of that horrendous night was no one's fault but the Alpha. The strategic and ruthlessly designed plan to psychologically torment Scott, Allison, Stiles, Lydia and Jackson that night, as well as trap them and hypnotize Scott by utilizing the werewolf hierarchy and Alpha-Beta connection in order to kill his lover and friends was unexpected to Scott and had no option to tell them the truth.

Yet, in comparison to this, the moment of truth between them having a break isn't also bad. Because Scott is suffering trauma and having trouble maneuvering this evil Alpha, as well as the Argents, but Allison is also in free will of her emotions, and needs time to think things for herself. This also applies to Scott, whom Seraph doesn't criticize him for because of the consequences and circumstances thrust onto him against his will.

Seraph gathers his thoughts rationally, inhales through his nose and glances at Allison. "To be honest, as much as I prefer to not be involved in one's domestic affairs, especially affairs that regard romantic and intimate elements, I will share you my perspective from a neutral and pragmatic standpoint." Seraph's intriguing words gives a light glimpse in Allison's eyes. She nods her head in interest, proceeding for him to continue.

"In light of the traumatic events of that night, both you and Scott, as well as the others were frightened and petrified. More for each-other due to the unknown murderer involved within our geopolitical structure of Beacon Hills. McCall made the decision to protect you from harm's way by not disclosing information with you, and only telling you in vague detail, which is flawed, but there is a reason behind his decision and that is something to be taken into account. You, after facing the aftermath of the event and discordance, coupled with the fact that you felt betrayed by his sense of dishonesty and inability to confide in you, stemmed the decision to break up with McCall by choosing self-preservation and a need for a sense of self-control in the wake of chaos." Seraph explains, earning a weak nod from Allison who has a frown on her face.

"But, neither you or McCall is solely at fault here for the decisions you both made that night, which led to the dissolution of your relationship. The two of you acted on your own perceptions, fears, and cognitive thoughts in this time, exercising free will and thinking on your feet in the terrifying scenery of chaos. Plus, McCall isn't a selfish person. There is a reason regarding his protective measures to go out the chemistry classroom to enact his plan to distract the killer in order for you to escape, even as far as locking the classroom door to prevent the murderer from murdering you and the others. It is important to recognize that assigning blame to either party in this scenario would be counterproductive and unfair. Instead of focusing on fault, it may be more constructive to view this as a learning experience for you and him." Seraph continues thoroughly, and he can see Allison's face shift from confusion, to sadness, to realization, and then understanding in a span of 10 seconds.

"At the end of the day Allison, you and McCall are teenagers, and while it maybe painful and unbearble to feel due to heartbreak, the two of you need to take time to recollect your thoughts to be able to converse again to rebuild your relationship. Neither you nor McCall deserved this heartbreak, so when the two of you are ready to talk, the two of you can speak of your current issues, and then McCall maybe ready to tell you the reason of his secrets."

He honestly didn't think his pragamtic approach would be cordial for the Argent heiress, but judging by her expression of understanding and adherence, she nodded, giving Seraph a small smile for his neutral viewpoint. It was much better than Whittemore's disconcerting response to Allison's dilemma. "Thank you, Seraph. You're right, I should give it time and gather my thoughts between me and Scott."

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Preview for Chapter 7. Yes you are seeing some previews of Seraph's and Allison's acquaintances, growing into a friendship. And you will all see why very soon. Chapter 5 WILL be posted this Sunday!

May The Odds Be In Your Favour

No Pressure Tags: @hemlocksandfoxgloves , @thiamsxbitch, @ksbbb, @rhyslahey, @arewordsenough (once again, thank you), @wolfboy88, @chasing-chimeras, @mmoosen, @isaac-not-isaac, @unsanedes, @scisac, @thrillhoues, @moonraeken, @phantomraeken, @outcastpack, @princeescaluswords

[korranguyen]

Let's talk about Azula & Ozai’s psychological abuse for a second. (Part 1)

Quick recap: I recently had the opportunity to visit the Writer's Guild of America (WGA). It was so fascinating to see how scripts are written, better understand the explicit motivations of certain characters and scenes, and the way the quality of an episode translates from pre-production to air time. I already have a lot of thoughts on the scripts I got my hands on (mostly Avatar) that I'll be unrolling, and I'm hoping to return to gather some thoughts on BoJack Horseman (I ran out of time within the opening times of the library because apparently 7 hours is not enough).

There was a lot of work on the ATLA writing team’s part that I found admirable and a lot that I found... less so. I will address both in time (as this post will)—but I want to start with the worst thing I found.

(S3E20, Sozin’s Comet: Avatar Aang, written by Mike DiMartino & Bryan Konietzko)

The ensnared Azula thrashes like a feral animal, breathing fire in desperation. Katara helps Zuko stand and they walk over to where Azula is tethered.

As Katara and Zuko watch with pained faces, Azula finally snaps, going from feral animal to bumbling crazy person.

AZULA: (WILD SCREAMS INTO PATHETIC BUMBLING AND CRYING)

(Emphasis is mine)

There’s a lot to unpack here—the way Bryke never sympathize with Azula’s pain and trauma here or even attempt to POV her internal dialogue for a sentence, the way their comparisons dehumanize her tragically human emotions, how the descriptions “feral animal” and “bumbling crazy person” are misogynistic, ableist, and horrific as fuck. But keep this all on hold as we take a step back and talk about Ozai.

One of the effects of reading Avatar scripts vs. watching the show was getting to read Zuko's confrontation with Ozai in DOBS line-by-line and recognize the psychological abuse patterns Ozai exhibits. For the most part, the audience sees Ozai’s physical abuse through the lens of Zuko's most traumatic experience—getting dueled, burned, and banished at thirteen for speaking out of turn—but we seldom get to see the ways Ozai works at Zuko psychologically  because of how little the two directly interact during the runtime of the show.

We get a hint of it here:

And can fill in the blanks based on how abysmal Zuko's self-image is. But, with the help of the direct script, Zuko’s confrontation with his father alone can tell us a lot about Ozai’s psychology—and the psychology of the environment Zuko and Azula were raised in.

Because of how it applies to The Abuse Event™, we already know that Ozai tends to threaten Zuko into submission. Ozai’s actions assert that “respect” is “do exactly what I say, no questions asked”, that Ozai (as their father) must be given “respect” or dangerous consequences lie on the horizon, and that any semblance of approval or positive affirmation can only be earned by being “respectful” and being “good enough” to live up to his exceeding expectations (more on this later):

“You will learn respect, and suffering will be your teacher.”

We see him employ the same style of direct intimidation at the start of Zuko’s confrontation:

ZUKO: In fact, he’s probably leading this very invasion — he could be on his way here right now.

FIRELORD OZAI: (ENRAGED SCREAM) Get out! Get out of my sight right now if you know what’s good for you.

Zuko doesn’t flinch.

ZUKO: That’s another thing — I’m not taking orders from you anymore.

Ozai gets up and moves toward Zuko aggressively.

OZAI: You will obey me, or this defiant breath will be your last…

Quick tangent; can I mention how gratifying that three-word stage direction is? Zuko doesn’t flinch. After his father’s enraged scream. And it’s equally gratifying to see Ozai’s temper rise for the first time as he realizes his threats have lost their grip.

After all, what abusers hate most is losing their control.

Anyway—let’s see what else we pick apart about Ozai’s behavior from this conversation. He cuts down on Zuko’s character in an effort to diminish him into doing exactly he wants:

FIRELORD OZAI: Coward! You think you’re brave enough to face me, but you’ll only do it during the eclipse. If you have any real courage you’ll stick around until the Sun comes out.”

And he sneers at Zuko’s sentiment about “peace and kindness” by deriding his brother:

FIRELORD OZAI: (LAUGHS DERISIVELY) Your uncle has gotten to you, hasn’t he?

ZUKO: Yes.

Zuko smiles.

ZUKO (cont’d): He has.

FIRELORD OZAI: (SCOWLS)

FIRELORD OZAI: Oh, that’s just beautiful, maybe he can pass down to you the ways of tea and failure.

So, Ozai does a couple of significant things in this last bit. For one, we see that he freely throws negative shade at other people and generally looks down upon others; these are tendencies we have seen both his children parrot at different times in the show. But he’s employing another narcissistic abuse tactic here—by speaking ill of Iroh and cutting down on his character, Ozai is trying to degrade Zuko’s trust in his uncle and thereby isolate Zuko from his support system. We can presume he’s done this countless times before because we have already seen his tactic work its magic. Earlier in the series, Zuko has little respect for Iroh despite being highly esteemed, and calls his uncle shallow, mistrustful, fat, and lazy countless times. He especially denigrates Iroh when he is trying to justify upholding his father’s demands over Iroh’s genuine advice. However, Zuko knows better now than to listen to his father’s persuasion, and we see Ozai’s true intentions when he scowls wordlessly at Zuko.

I don’t doubt that he has ridiculed others in his childrens’ lives in the exact same way—particularly Ursa. Perhaps this is why Azula’s relationship with her mother was as complicated as it was, or why she gravitated towards Ozai’s parenting and adopted her father’s views of their family well before her mother’s disappearance. And we know he speaks of Zuko in this way, because we have direct evidence of Ozai telling his other child that Zuko is a failure (and also commanding her on a task in the same breath—there is no mistaking the underlying threat behind this introductory scene).

And then finally, when all of these tactics cease to work—when he feels his control slipping—he jabs at Zuko’s deepest attachments to regain control over him via emotional blackmail. And relishes in getting to do so.

Zuko doesn’t turn around, he starts WALKING AWAY. The Firelord EASES back into his chair — he is confident in his next tactic.

FIRELORD OZAI: Don’t you want to know what happened to your mother?

I don’t doubt that Ozai has used these same tactics on his other child, Azula, to get her exactly where he wants her to be. Even if he was more prone to flattering Azula or she was more capable of living to his demands, she still lives under the exact same danger of conditional love that her brother had earlier in the season, and is likely terrified of the consequences of losing that approval (which is why she throws her “Avatar-slayer” title onto Zuko). And even if Azula never “had it as bad”, kids pick up on things and even if it isn’t you, there is always the fear that it could be.

Now, about Azula. (Click here)

[shouldiusemyname]

I have resisted writing my thoughts on La Pluie this week because I have too much on my plate. But the urge is strong and I am weak.

First Lomfon

Anyway... I want to say something about Lomfon. I love him and I've been intrigued by him since day one. He is a lost puppy that has made ALL the mistakes. I read @heretherebedork 's worries about Tien and Lomfon and I think we can trust that they will be fine. Lomfon is now starting to go back and fix the mess he's made, and he starts with Tai. we can thank @syrena-del-mar for putting it wonderfully here - Tai is self-obsessed and self-absorbed, so his conversation with Lomfon in ep 11 is really lighthearted. He is the one not taking things too seriously because it's not about himself. It is about Tien so Tai is all he will be fine, he always ends up fine, it's fine, trust me, I know him, I know what he likes, just talk to me, I'll help you out. This is not about me, and I told you I'm good so relax man. It's gonna be fine.

On the other hand, Lomfon is about to die of seriousness and pain. You can see on his face how much he needs to make things right with Tai before he allows himself to fix things with Tien. Lomfon knows Tien, and he knows that his main concern is Tai's emotional wellbeing (seriously, you put it so well @syrena-del-mar ), and there is no way he will be fine moving ahead with Lomfon unless Tai is good.

Then Communication

This all leads me to something that I've been wanting to say for a few weeks now. I find it most interesting how this show comments about communication in relationships. It came together for me this ep when they paralleled Tai's soulmate connection with his parents' soulmate connection. What keeps their love for each other, be it romantic or not, is the fact that they were and still are communicating through it all. They have real conversations both when it rains and when it doesn't rain. And they keep communicating even after the divorce. They are using their soulmate connection the way they should.

I really get Tai here. He is a kid who only gets part of the picture (as all kids do) of his parents' relationship, and he makes assumptions on which he bases his own actions in his own relationships.

What I mean is that because he also suffers from hearing loss, he is the only brother who can't witness his parents communicating as soulmates. When it rains, he turns inwards and also turns sort of blind. He doesn't really learn anything from his parents' experience because he can't see it. He knows how to communicate with his environment, and the show establishes it in the opening when Tai reviews all the different ways people with hearing loss can communicate with people who hear. The thing that he's missing is the ability to communicate with people like him - mainly the one person he needs to communicate with, which is his soulmate and potential romantic partner. From his POV there is no need to put in the effort with your soulmate because you can hear each other when it rains. AND THAT IS ENOUGH.

Well Tai, I hate to be the bearer of bad news BUT you will need to learn that relationships need communication. Hearing is not listening. Having a soulmate connection doesn't mean being able to read each other's minds. It is a basic connection that needs to be built upon, but will not last without communication. When Patts is screaming at him communicate with me! Tai can only respond with read my mind and find out because he hasn't figured it out yet.

I liked how Tai had to lose the hearing loss, and consequently the soulmate connection, in order to understand what communication should look like between partners. When he'll get back together with Patts, it's not going to be rebuilding, it's going to be learning and building from the ground, because Patts and him were not communicating on the same frequency. Patts was communicating, while Tai was only hearing.

So, to sum up, I love this show.

[devisrina]

has anyone done a deep dive on the closeup of sydney's "three of swords" tattoo that showed up in the scenes of her interspersed with carmy's gf? idk much about tarot cards but a quick search said it represents "pain inflicted by words, actions and intent on the emotional and physical self" which is v interesting

I don't believe someone has done a thorough deep dive into the intricacies of Syd's tattoo, but here is what I have gathered, so I might try to decipher this for you.

If anyone else wants to create a deep dive for this, please do so!

Here is what I have gathered from an internet search.

"Three Of Swords Keywords

UPRIGHT: Heartbreak, emotional pain, sorrow, grief, hurt

REVERSED: Negative self-talk, releasing pain, optimism, forgiveness

Three Of Swords Description

The Three of Swords shows a heart pierced by three swords, representing the pain inflicted by words, actions and intent on the emotional and physical self. The dark clouds gathering in the background mirror this pain but offer the hope that, just as the storm clouds will disappear, so too will the pain and hurt you are experiencing."

And here is an extract from another website.

The Three of Swords depicts the message of rejection, betrayal, hurt and discouragement. In moments like these, we are well served by the mind. If you can think logically about it and prepare for the experience, the impact of this pain may be minimized.

The three daggers represent three meanings. Sydney's tattoo is upright, so that means hers reflects heartbreak, emotional pain, sorrow, grief, and hurt. So now that we know that, we can find the definitions of the upright three of swords

Love meaning- The imagery of this card is plain and simple; heartbreak is to come with the 3 of Swords tarot love meaning. This is likely to be a time in your life of tears, sadness and heartbreak. If you’re in a relationship, this can sometimes point to a breakup, a conflict, or some kind of separation. In the worst-case scenario, since this card is a three, it can also point to a third party creating trouble in your relationship. You and your partner may have to face difficult problems in order to remain together. Without clear and respectful discussions and a willingness to work together, the relationship can reach its end. If you’re single, it may be that past grief and suffering are affecting your ability to date. Past wounds have not yet healed, and it’s important to give yourself time before you attempt to find love again.

Career meaning

Work can be a great source of stress, frustration and sadness for you right now. At worst, it can point to a sudden job loss or collapse of a company. More commonly, it can signal some kind of conflict at work amongst clients and colleagues. If you’re dealing with this, make sure that you have honest and open conversations with your coworkers, while keeping things respectful. There’s likely a lot that you all can learn from one another. If you’re looking for work, or you have just lost your job, the search right now can leave you hopeless. Don’t be disheartened; if you can afford it, take the time now to recover from this period of anguish. It may provide you a more positive mindset for your job search.

Finances meaning

You may be dealing with a material loss right now, or at least something in your financial life causing you a lot of stress. A breakup has both emotional and financial consequences; you may no longer be able to afford your apartment alone, or you may have to split your assets in a divorce. All these things can be overwhelming now. Make sure to be gentle with yourself, but also remember not to avoid taking care of these things. Find support; you can make it through.

So, now we can connect this to Sydney's life.

Love - Considering we don't know what Carmy and Sydney's dynamic is, let's just assume that this is connective to their business partnership. In the worst-case scenario, since this card is a three, it can also point to a third party creating trouble in your relationship. The third party is Claire. Claire distracts Carmy which further hinders his relationship with Sydney. It hurts Sydney because Carmy isn't investing himself in their relationship since at this point in time, he is giving her his split focus and she needs his full focus. Without clear and respectful discussions and a willingness to work together - They avoid communicating about their feelings and she feels worried about if they would be able to work together/ if she can trust him as her partner.

I think it is also purposeful that her tattoo gets revealed in between takes of Carmy getting with Claire. So maybe this could foreshadow her hurt towards Carmy being with another girl? I don't think she is aware of this yet though. She might think she has some kind of feelings towards Carmy, but she doesn't know what kind they are yet.

Career- This involves her failed business track record with Sheridan Road and her fear of The Bear potentially being unsuccessful. More commonly, it can signal some kind of conflict at work amongst clients and colleagues.- This equals her conflict with Carmy. He has not been there as much as he needed to. When he made changes to chaos menu and asked Claire for help without talking to Syd first. Also in episode 3 when Carmy didn't inform her about the walls needing to be knocked down. She is afraid that Carmy is leaving her out of the loop or main decision-making because they don't have a payment structure/co-owner ship of the restaurant.

Finances- She feels insecure about having to move in with her dad after her failed business. Her credit score is in the negative category. She is afraid that if the restaurant doesn't work out, she would be financially unstable. She can't afford to buy an apartment and live on her own anymore, which in turn, stresses her out.

Since it also connects to grief, hurt, heartbreak and emotional pain, it also has a lot to do with her mother. This can connect to the love meaning. She faced a lot of heartbreak and sadness from growing up without a mother figure in her life, so it can be reflective of that as well.

So yeah, I don't really know if I'm right about this. Someone can correct me if I'm wrong.

[sketch-guardian]

Time for some self indulgence... how would the classmates deal with a MC who's on their period and has really bad cramps? I absolutely can't get off my bed rn 😭😭

I'm very sorry to hear that Isa😥but don't worry,I'm sure it will be just fine😌also I apologize for the delay in replying to your ask (unfortunately I was busy studying-) and for the pain you are feeling🙈so I will do my best to answer in a satisfying way,keeping MC as gender neutral as possible as usual. In the meantime I hope you feel better by now☺anyway let's start:

"HOW WOULD THE RAD CLASSMATES DEAL WITH A MC WHO'S ON THEIR PERIOD AND HAS REALLY BAD CRAMPS?"

DEMYA

With her highly developed sense of smell, it's very likely that Demya will immediately notice MC's situation,perhaps even before it actually begins, since she would perceive an intense smell of hormones coming from her human, even if at first she would not understand the reason. Once their period starts, Demya's reaction might be a bit exaggerated at first, because the first thing that would come to her mind would be that MC is injured and not on their period. Once they explain the situation to her,she would do her best to take care of them, to demonstrate that despite her demon nature,she's able to provide for their needs, humans are fragile and sensitive creatures after all... however...the smell of blood would distract her a little (nothing to fear though-). Demya vaguely knows what a menstrual cycle consists of, but she doesn't know why it happens and why it's so painful, her ignorance on the subject though would not prevent her from acting as a heated pillow for MC's belly, to try to relieve the cramps, on a comfortable bed surrounded by all the salty and sweet snacks they could ever want: unfortunately Demya's not a expert with medicines,so she would limit herself to massaging MC's sore spots to make them feel better. If the situation worsened (migraine, nausea,ecc...) then she would turn to someone clever enough to be trustworthy, like Satan

DOMNRA (MOBIM)

He doesn't know very well how the human body works, having never felt any particular interest in it or its biological functions, but considering that his partner is human, he saw fit to do some research throughout their relationship, not very deep though, in fact Domnra would not be very prepared for the arrival of the MC's menstrual cycle. At first he would underestimate the situation, not understanding how painful a period can be, having suffered in the past much worse blows (just look at his scars-) and consequently he would seem a bit distant, but once he understands the intensity of MC's pain,he would immediately intervene to comfort them while quietly apologizing, with the assistance of Mobim, who would act as emotional support, being the size of a stuffed animal. The sight or smell of blood does not bother Domnra and in case MC has mood swings, he would be able to handle them, having anger management issues himself and a bipolar friend. Also both he and Mobim have quite high body temperatures,so they would try to sooth MC's cramps by being close to them during cuddles

AZUL

Among the RAD classmates, Azul is definitely the one with the most experience in interacting with humans, having spent several times on Earth and having made various pacts which, although short-lived, were sufficient for him to learn something more about human customs and biology, including what a menstrual cycle is.Azul would take relatively little time to notice MC's situation, having a kind of innate and highly developed empathy due to his powers, and once he ascertains their symptoms, he would use his magic to relieve their cramps and to entertain them, after all he loves the smile of his lovely star and it breaks his heart to see them stressed. However, again due to his empathy and instability, whenever MC has a mood swing, it's likely that such thing would happen to Azul too, being very in tune with their emotions (it's known though that he's still a lovable idiot,therefore, even if MC is gender neutral, he would occasionally make stupid puns like "if my babe is on their period, then I'm on my period too, it's uterUS-")

ZURI

Despite her intelligence,the topic of human biology has never particularly interested Zuri,so although she vaguely knows what a menstrual cycle is by hearsay during her long existence,she is unaware of what it entails exactly. As soon as MC shows signs to be on their period, Zuri would do some research on the subject on her own, rather than ask questions directly to MC,a bit due to her pride and also out of concern,not wanting to embarrass her beloved,it seems quite a delicate topic and she doesn't want to appear too insensitive. Zuri would approach MC with caution and do what she sees fit to take care of them, making sure they eat healthy food that doesn't make the cramps worse and that they don't overexert themselves (if medication is needed,she would almost assume the professionalism of a medic,measuring the right doses of medicine while letting MC rest,despite being a busy demon)

ODON

They know when MC's period is about to arrive,not due to a matter of hormones,blood or anything else,but rather thanks to their eye-like creatures,which seem to predict many phenomena, from the most important to the most trivial,like this one in this case.Odon is ancient and has a lot of knowledge to themselves,however even if they know the basics of human biology, including the menstrual cycle, this doesn't mean that they know how to treat it, having never taken care of another living being in their life, especially a human (other creatures rarely approach them, but it happened in the past that some animals did). In any case, Odon would not be discouraged by their inexperience and would be happy and honored to be able to take care of their dear friend MC, making the environment around them very quiet and relaxing, accompanied by warm drinks and soft sheets, immersed in a darkness illuminated only by a few dim lights. In Odon's presence, probably due to some strange eldritch horror ability, the cramps would seem to ease, as if they transferred the pain from MC to themselves, which however would hardly affect them, having a pain threshold beyond normal (literally, stabbing or cutting off a limb wouldn't bother Odon,but the eye-like creatures might be affected a little,given their bond-). Furthermore,Odon has a quite soothing voice when they don't giggle or smile like the cheshire cat, so MC could ask them to hum something like a lullaby

[booksinmythorax]

Some fiction books with sad endings to consider reading, and why

Raise your hand if you've ever been personally victimized by a book where the dog dies at the end. Raise your other hand if you literally flinch when you hear the words "Bridge to Terabithia".

So much of what we read for school in America, at least when I was growing up, was so sad, wasn't it? It was worse when the sadness wasn't earned, when the book was 100 pages of playing with puppies and then 20 pages of sobbing (looking at you, Where the Red Fern Grows).

Why all the bummers? There's a little bit of snobbishness at play there - speaking as someone who got an English degree in undergrad, there are a lot of people who don't believe a book has literary value if it has a happy ending. But there's something more, too: emotional education.

Globally, we're dealing with a lot of sadness in real life right now and have been for many years. There is a very real global mental health crisis happening, especially among young people. Sometimes it is good to use media as a fluffy escape from a grim reality, and as a species we do love a happy ending. I firmly believe in hope and love the hopepunk genre - but I also believe that everything doesn't work out the way we want it to all the time.

Sadness in fiction can function as practice or companionship for experiencing sadness in real life. If you're in the right mindset, it's important to read sad books.

It's not a spoiler to say that the endings of the following books are sad. These books deal with sad material or characters who struggle throughout. Also, a sad ending doesn't necessarily mean the hero doesn't win, that there is no hope for the characters or their world, or that everything is meaningless. It just means acknowledging that suffering is real, sacrifices are sometimes necessary, and at some point, we all have to grieve.

I've listed some titles you might want to peruse below the cut. The "sadness" in them varies book to book, from the personal to the global. I'm linking to The Storygraph for each title, in case you'd like to check the content warnings there. Please comment or send me an ask if you'd like to suggest a title to add to this list! I'd be especially grateful for titles written by Black authors, indigenous authors, and authors of color; titles by Jewish and Muslim authors; and/or titles that were not originally published in English.

-The His Dark Materials trilogy, ending with The Amber Spyglass, by Phillip Pullman (middle grade fantasy about a world where everyone's soul is external, expressed by an animal called a daemon, and a young girl who uncovers a scientific mystery with multiversal consequences)

-A Monster Calls by Patrick Ness (young adult fabulism about a boy whose mother has a terminal illness and who suddenly begins receiving visits from a large treelike monster late at night)

-The Elegance of the Hedgehog, written in French by Muriel Barbery and translated into English by Alison Anderson (adult contemporary fiction about a friendship between a middle-aged concierge and a teenage girl with depression, both of whom are secretly brilliant but pretend not to be)

-The Poppy War by R.F. Kuang (adult fantasy about a young woman who gains unimaginable power, paralleling the brutal occupation of China by Japan during World War II)

-The Book Thief by Markus Zusak (young adult historical fiction, narrated by a personified Death, about a girl who begins to steal books in Nazi Germany)

-Dear Martin by Nic Stone (young adult contemporary fiction about a Black American boy named Justyce who begins to write letters to Martin Luther King Jr. after he experiences police violence)

-House Arrest by K.A. Holt (middle grade contemporary fiction in verse about a boy who is put on house arrest for stealing money for his baby brother's medical bills)

-Anger Is a Gift by Mark Oshiro (young adult contemporary fiction about a Black American boy who gets panic attacks after his father is murdered by police, whose life is changed irreversibly again after police violence at his school)

-We Are Okay by Nina Lacour (young adult contemporary fiction about a young lesbian who finds herself reflecting on her grief alone in her dorm over winter break)

-The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas (young adult contemporary fiction about a girl who witnesses the violent death of a friend at the hands of police, whose murder then starts a wave of national protests and personal turmoil)

-Code Name Verity by Elizabeth Wein (young adult historical fiction about two young women, one a spy, the other a pilot, during WWII)

-And the Mountains Echoed by Khaled Hosseini (adult historical fiction about a poor family in Afghanistan who experiences far-reaching consequences after a father decides to sell his three-year-old daughter to a wealthy, childless couple)

-A Thousand Splendid Suns by Khaled Hosseini (adult historical fiction about two Afghani women who marry the same man decades apart after each experiences a family tragedy, as well as what comes after)

-Beloved by Toni Morrison (adult historical fiction about a formerly enslaved woman haunted by the living ghost of her daughter, who died violently as a baby)

-The Virgin Suicides by Jeffrey Eugenides (adult contemporary fiction about a family of sheltered girls who begin to commit suicide one by one)