#and pushing everyone out of my life so they dont have to deal with me but then being miserable that i pushed them away

[landofgay]

me at 15: I think I have ADHD and autism and ocd and bpd and and and

me at 17: nah I was being silly I don't really have most of those things. maybe ADHD.

me now at 22: yeah no I have ADHD and autism and ocd and bpd and

[caffeinatedopossum]

I just realized something really sad

I have two best friends outside of tumblr (my only irls that aren't roommates basically) and one of them I try to talk to constantly but she doesn't always respond, in fact she kind of barely does. I want to talk to her all the time but I always feel like I'm boring her or like she doesn't understand why I can't do some of the things I can't do.

The other one is always trying to talk to me, usually trying to call me. But I rarely ever pick up or respond or text first. My relationship with her is really complicated because some of my alters are very hurt from some things she did a while ago, others just don't trust her, and then the ones that front when we talk love her.

I have so many mixed feelings and the switches triggered by that mean I always don't answer or forget because I have dissociative amnesia about her trying to contact me in the first place... I don't know, I don't want to make excuses for myself but I genuinely don't know if this is a valid reason for treating her the way I do or if I'm an awful friend. Of course, it could also be both. I just don't know what to do. I don't want her to feel neglected by me like I sometimes do with my other friend.

[chaoticace2005]

The list of regrets I totally have and am not just writing because Charlie is making me, Vagina Vaggie is glaring at me, and I want the free rent:

By Angel Dust, 3 time X-X-X award winner.

(Warning, there is some victim blaming in this. The abuse Angel faces from Val is not his fault, but given that I’m writing this from his perspective I figured it would be something he’d add.)

1. Writing this list

2. Verbally complaining about writing this list cause now Vagina wants to stab me.

3. Only taking half my usual hit before starting today.

4. Complaining about not being high enough.

5. Not hiding my drugs better

6. Not having more stashes of drugs

7. Calling TV superior to radio.

8. Not killing that snake before he had a chance to go to the hotel.

9. Not “trying hard enough” at this shitty hotel.

10. Being too close to roof so the CRAZY BITCH COULD THROW ME OFF OF IT.

11. Walking up the stairs with Pentious only to have to go IMMEDIATELY BACK DOWN.

12. Signing my deal with fucking Valentino. Seriously I’m a fucking idiot.

13. Even suggesting the idea that Charlie should come to the studio. She’s just going to get hurt.

14. Mouthing off to Val.

15. Not getting Charlie out of the hotel sooner

16. Being such a pathetic, dick sucking ho who isn’t good at anything beyond sex.

17. Not being able to take all of this.

18. Not acting well enough cause some this bitchass cat is seeing through me.

19. Ever offering that bitchass cat my services.

20. Pushing Husk’s boundaries

21. Not being my true self.

22. Acting for so long I don’t even really know who my true self is

23. Being a dick to Charlie

24. Being a dick to Husk

25. Being a dick to everyone

26. Putting my dick in a vacuum cleaner.

27. Calling Smiles a creepy dommy daddy.

28. Letting Niffty know about some of my more kinky films. She’s getting ideas…

29. Trying to play poker with Husk (and not even strip poker!)

30. Testing if my venom works on myself (it doesn’t and now I have pink bite marks)

31. Leaving what I used to clean my bites out because somehow Alastor found them and is now TEMPORARILY PARALYZED AND I DONT WANT HIM TO KILL ME WHEN HE CAN MOVE AGAIN.

32. Not answering Val’s texts.

33. Wearing boots. Seriously these things hurt sometimes.

34. Having ugly feet so I can’t NOT wear boots.

35. Tracking mud into the hotel

36. Mentioning sex around the Egg Bois because now I have to explain what it is.

37. Describing sex as something their boss “has never had,” it got back to Pentious and I’m scared.

38. Mentioning “Vox” anywhere in Alastor’s vicinity.

39. Agreeing to play Monopoly with Niffty. In general Monopoly sucks but Niffty likes to get knives involved?!?!

40. Getting addicted to drugs.

41. Getting caught in that alleyway by my BITCHASS brother.

42. Not trying harder for Molly.

43. Not saying goodbye.

44. Fucking overdosing.

45. Doing literally fucking nothing with my life and nothing with my death.

46. Taking the easy was out and doing whatever pops told me to

47. Yelling “FUCK” loudly in church that one time

48. Not teaching these people at the hotel how to FUCKING MAKE SPAGHETTI RIGHT?!

49. Getting high with Cherri.

50. Telling Val to “fuck off”

51. Flirting with that one cannibal guy because now they all seem to want to EAT ME (and not in the sexy way)

52. Leaving those pot brownies out. High cannibals, Egg Boiz, and Nifftys are terrifying.

53. Letting myself be named “Angel” because this makes shit too damn confusing plus I think Niffty wants to KILL ME?!

54. Not spending more time with these losers

55. Not opening myself up to Husk sooner.

56. Being too much of a coward to tell him how I feel.

57. Mentioning Pent has two dicks to Cherri cause she won’t stop asking about it.

58. Not doing enough to save Pentious.

59. Not telling him how much he means to me.

60. Trying to lift way more than I should have. Apparently six arms doesn’t mean I’m super strong.

61. Calling Niss a short motherfucker who nobody likes. I’m sorry, I’ll be better (and call him something even worse next time.)

62. Still being too much of a coward to tell Husk how I feel.

63. Flirting with Husk in Italian when he UNDERSTOOD ME THIS WHOLE DAMN TIME?!

64. Getting a room on the same side of the building as Alastor’s because he keeps laughing at 3 in the morning???

65. Kissing Husk in public. Val is mad.

66. Trying to even have a boyfriend with Val around. It’s stupid.

67. Calling yourself stupid for wanting to have a boyfriend.

68. Giving my boyfriend access to this list.

69. No regrets. Only 69. :D (Jesus Christ you’re a child.)

[alwritey-aphrodite]

SHDNDJ IVE BEEN CALLED FOR YPU DONT KNOW HOW SPECIAL THAT MAKES ME FEEL OMG🤭 LOVE YOUU!!

ok so these are kind of just half-ideas that I’ve thought of that aren’t fully formed but I’m sure you’ll be able to think of something with your giant amazing brain😍 feel free to disregard these tho they’re kinda trash

- sejanus being really flirty with reader at the club place while he’s in district 12 (idk if that really fits his character but I feel like he could get bold at times🙏) and she’s just not really connecting the dots. her friend Lucy gray has to flat out tell her and reader has a giant revelation

- reader catches snow recording sejanus’ conversation about the rebellion and calls him out for it, stands up for her mans

-ok so this is kind of a song prompt— “Dear Arkansas Daughter” by Lady Lamb specifically the line “you with the dark curls, you with the water color eyes” not really sure what you could do with that, but maybe something with capital!sejanus w/ his curly hair

hope these give you some inspo pookie!!

love,

pooksters 💖

Your ideas are not trash!! Please feel free to send more or just to hop into my ask box to chat <3 I went with the first idea because it’s adorable but I might come back and write the other ones at some point

If the day that Lucy Gray was reaped was the worst day of your life, then the day that she miraculously returned to District Twelve as victor of the Hunger Games was the best. Ever since then, you spend most of your nights at the Hob with the rest of the Covey, sometimes taking the stage yourself but most of the time dancing and clapping from the audience.

Peacekeepers off duty are a normal sight in the Hob, but there are two in particular that seem to have a connection with Lucy Gray, two Capital boys that she knew during her time in the Games. You’re not sure how they came to be peacekeepers stuck in District 12, but you know better than to ask. They’re nice boys, and the blond one, Coriolanus, is absolutely smitten with Lucy Gray, you’re sure he’d do anything she asked. The other one, Sejanus, seems to have less of a connection to Lucy Gray but he’s kind all the same, and most nights he spends at the Hob are spent talking with you at a back table, away from the stage and the dance floor.

Tonight, Lucy Gray is taking a night off from performing and has joined you and Sejanus as you watch the rest of the Covey, Coriolanus never far from her side.

“I like your dress,” Sejanus says over the music, leaning over to speak into your ear so you can hear him clearer.

“Thank you, I made the one Maude Ivory’s wearing too,” you gesture towards the stage where the younger girl is busy singing.

“You’re very talented,” Sejanus turns to face you, giving you his undivided attention despite everything that goes on in the Hob.

“Oh, it’s not as hard as it looks,” you respond with a smile before pushing off the wall and heading to the bar, leaving a giggling Lucy Gray to deal with a despondent Sejanus.

“You’d think a girl as pretty as her is used to all the compliments and the flirting, but you’ve gotta be more obvious than that,” Lucy Gray tells him with a mischievous smile, as if you’d rather have the floor swallow you whole than have her share this information. Before Sejanus can respond, you’re returning with a tray of drinks for everyone in your little group, and he just about melts with the smile you give him as you slide the glass into his hand.

“Maybe, if you’re not busy, you could show me around some time? I’d really like to learn more about twelve,” he asks, and you’re quick to nod in agreement.

“Oh sure, I can show you all the best spots,” you reply kindly, but Lucy Gray knows you’re still not getting the message.

“He means you’re the prettiest girl he’s ever seen,” she whispers into your ear, loud enough for Sejanus to hear, “and the sweetest and the funniest and the most talented.” You look to Sejanus with wide eyes, as if Lucy Gray would be lying, but he’s nodding at you, despite the blush that’s taken over most of his face.

“Well, I’d still love to go,” you tell him, rewarding with the most beautiful smile you’ve ever seen. The two of you spend the rest of the night talking, the chaos of the Hob fading into nothing while Lucy Gray silently watches with a smile.

[stainedstardom]

okay chad x fem reader request

chad and the reader are childhood frenemies and after the ghostface attacks and the move to nyc the group just wants them to get along. chad and y/n are also both trying to make people jealous so they decide it’s best to fake date to make everyone happy. when the guy y/n is trying to make jealous hits on her one night and kind of takes it too far chad goes all macho and overprotective and y/n gets kind of mad at chad for it and an angry love confession comes out of both of them 🙏

angry love confessions make me giggle

MY GIRL

chad meeks martin x fem!reader

growing up you had known chad your whole life, younger him was shy but older him was different. there was something about him that you hate him in a good way. it set you two apart and made you frenemies in some sort of way.

after everything in woodsboro, you and the group moved to new york. you ended up sharing an apartment with anika as mindy roomed with tara, sam roomed with a new girl named quinn and chad roomed with the new boy named ethan.

"why do you hate my brother?" mindy asked you one night and you turned your head to her

"i dont hate him" you stated and everyone scoffed. truth be told you didn't hate him , you liked him more then you should but you wouldn't admit that in fear of rejection or embarrassment

"thats such a lie, i dare you to try and be in a room with chad for 10 minutes without cussing him out or leaving" tara challenged

"no way chad would never agree to that" you claimed and then you heard someone clear their throat making you turn to see chad

"oh but i already did, lets go princess" he said and he grabbed your hand as he led you to a room and you heard him lock the door

"chad what the fuck?" you said

"look i have a plan, you like mattheo and I like tara so i say we fake date to make them jealous and bam we both get what we want and we make everyone else happy" he said and you thought it through

"alright fine deal" you said and you heard footsteps

"good now kiss me" he said

"what?" you asked and he pushed his lips to yours as the door opened and you turned to see everyone.

"well this is a surprise" mindy said and they all laughed. after that you and chad pretended to be a couple for a week, the guy you like began to flirt with you and you could tell that tara was getting jealous.

tonight was the night of the halloween party, you and chad decided to dress up as a couple and go as a cowboy and cowgirl together.

"hey dont stray too far" he said as he kissed you and you smiled at him. none of your friends were around but you still kept up the act

"i wont" you told him and he nodded as he went to grab you both drinks

"hey there cow girl" mattheo said and you turned to look at him

"mattheo right? youre in my social psych class" you stated and he laughed as he nodded

"yeah yeah, you look really good" he said and you smiled

"oh thanks" you said

"yeah do you want to go upstairs?" he asked and you could smell the alcohol on his breathe not wanting to do this anymore

"i um no, i should stay down here" you stated

"oh come on, dont be a prude" he said as he leaned in to kiss your neck but then he got shoved

"back off my girl bro" chad said as the man stood up and laughed

"oh come on your girl is dressed like a whore she was practically begging for it" mattheo retorted and chads arm swung forward as he punched him in the face and he kept going even when mattheo was down

"DAMN IT CHAD , STOP" you yelled and he turned to you. you scoffed and shook your head as you walked away from him. he got up and ran after you, you were outside of the house when he got caught up with you

"y/n stop, whats wrong?" he asked

"you never know when to stop do you?" you asked

"the guy was about to hurt you, he called you a whore, I couldn't let him call my girl that" he said and you laughed

"im not your girl chad, this whole thing was to make him jealous and to make tara jealous so we could get what we want" you stated and he scoffed

"and my feelings changed"

"what?"

"i fell in love with you, your smile, the way you walk and talk. the way you care for people, I fell in love with you. i don't want to be just friends, I don't want this to be fake, I want this to be real"

"chad"

"dont , dont tell me you dont want me"

"chad" you said

"tell me you dont feel anything for me when I do this" he said and he surged forward as he grabbed your face and kissed you. your hands shot to his wrists as you kissed him back

"I love you too" you stated

"Please be my girl for real" he said and you nodded

"of course i will" you told him and he smiled as he kissed you and you kissed him back. you were finally his

A/N: so i know its not totally an angry love confession but its the best I got

[yikessmicah]

bloodweave

heres some bloodweave brainrot copy pasted directly from my priv twitter bc i was going insane at like 3am last night

// tw mention/brief discussion of astarion and gale's trauma, including sexual trauma. ill highlight it red so you can read the rest if youd like while avoiding the triggering part.

also obvious spoilers for part of astarion and gale's personal stories/quests.

AND DISCLAIMER this is my opinion and straight up brainrot u can ship whoever u want in bg3 idc <3

-----

sorry im having bloodweave brainrot because out of everyone in the camp i think gale Would be the objectively best match for astarion to be in a successful relationship with.

he wouldn't push him to do anything (tho i dont think any of the companions would, but ykwim) and since gale has his own form of relationship and sexual trauma (the fact mytsra groomed him since he was Literally a child and was only ever intimate with him on the astral plane therefore he's never had real physical human touch and intimacy) it would be overwhelming for him too!!

hed WANT to take it slow, he'd WANT to be as accomodating and like. he also has something on his body that represents his trauma the same way astarion does!! astarion has his scars and gale has the orb tattoo on his chest. i also think just. astarion's whole life as a spawn was only surrounded by people he Hated talking to. people who would spit insults and berate him, treat him like he was pathetic and disgusting - but gale? gale of waterdeep who never fucking shuts up?

gale of waterdeep who would gladly wake up and immediately shower him with compliments using words astarion had never even heard before? gale who would would describe astarion's features for him re: him not being able to see his reflection in such words and with such ease that eventually astarion starts to *like* the fact he doesnt have a reflection?

gale of waterdeep who would spend every waking moment of his day - that he wasnt spending talking to or being with astarion - working on a way to cure astarion of his vampirism or at Least a way for him to walk in the sun?

GALE OF WATERDEEP . who would gladly and without fucking question give up touching astarion ever again if he told him to?

gale of waterdeep who would answer every question astarion had? who would comfort his every dark thought?

gale of fucking waterdeep who would CARE for astarion so fucking well that he would genuinely start believing and KNOWING !!! he was worthy of love.

gale of FUCKING !! WATEDEEP !! who would vow to never shut up again if thats what helped astarion deal with the memories of sitting alone in a dungeon for months or YEARS at a time at the hands of cazador (not that that would be particularly hard with how me he talks already /pos).

gale who would gladly give up ever seeing the sun again and completely flipping his sleep schedule if it meant being able to walk the streets with astarion safely.

gale who would truly and wholly give nothing but his honest and real self. bare and beaten but NOT broken. show that astarion was the same. not broken. not something to be "fixed". simply something - SOMEONE - that needed to be guided a little. simply someone that needed safety.

gale of waterdeep who would do anything for his blood to taste sweet for astarion again. so he wouldnt have to fear where his next meal was going to come from. so astarion would never have to sink his teeth into a beast - let alone a sewer rat - ever again. never again would he let him have to hunt criminals in the night through the streets Alone. EVER AGAIN!!!

gale of waterdeep who would give up sleep to be by astarion's side as much as he could (since hes human and astarion is an elf). i just. he would do anything for him. Truly Anything.

gale of waterdeep who would wait weeks, months, YEARS - CENTURIES. if that's how much time it took for astarion to say i love you back. gale would say it 300 times a day and not once would it ring with the exigency of needing him to say it back.

gale....

[adventuringblind]

I remember you

Max Verstappen x driver!reader

Genre: sad with a happy ending

Request: yes! I hope you like it as much as I do! I’m open for Max, Charles, Lando, Oscar, Daniel, George, Pierre, and poly relationships. Don’t be shy I don’t judge. I promise.

Summary: Max and reader have been pining after each other for awhile now but haven’t confessed. When an accident changes everything, Max fears he may have missed his change.

Warnings: major accident, description of injuries, pining,

Notes: written in third person

Also, I've sent up my account to let tips be enabled. I was debating whether or not to say this because i dont want to sound like im begging, but frankly, people opinions do not matter me me. If you like my writing and want to support me, please consider tipping my posts or my blog. I put a lot of effort into my writing, and it would mean the world to me. Obviously, I won't have my feeling hurt if you ignor this but I wanted to put it out there.

Masterlist

She’d managed to get the second seat at Redbull. She gets along well with her teammate and she’s managing to keep up with him. Her team is first in the constructors championship. Life couldn’t have been better for her. Until the smoke filled her nostrils and the orange tried to lick at every part of her.

Her road was filled with hard work and she was so proud of herself for making it this far. Starting with alphatauri and finally getting the second Redbull seat.

Her and Max had been friends since she started in formula 1. Though it was obvious there was more to their friendship then they would confess to themselves or each other. Everyone teased them about it. But neither had been able to confront those feelings.

Her having to deal with the already male dominated sport and being asked ridiculous questions. Him defending his title and struggling with how to communicate emotions.

The way the two drove together in sync. Trusting each other to make the right calls. It was a testament to the connection between them.

Outside the track the talked often. Pushing each other, encouraging one another, it was a sight to see for every party involved.

“Are you ever going to confess to her?” Daniel asked Max one afternoon.

Max looked longingly across the garage where you were talking to your engineers. “But things are already so good. I don’t want to ruin it and I’m not sure she feels the same.”

“I just hope you don’t regret it one day, mate.”

It wasn’t even a day later that Max realized Daniel had been right.

~

She was set to place second, the race closer then you would’ve liked with a few laps to go. She’d been aggressively defending from the Mercedes behind her.

The Mercedes switched to trying an overtake on the outside. The proximity to her far too close for her liking. She thought she’d be given the space. She overestimated.

The confusion quickly over took her senses. One minute she was driving on the track and the next she was spinning. It was so fast she hadn’t even realized her car was in the air. The force of the impact was so great at one point she lost consciousness.

She woke up to her ears ringing and heat dancing around her skin. People screaming her name. She needed to move but couldn’t. The halo of the car had been bent in odd directions, preventing a her from an easy escape.

She tried to keep her panic away but But it was getting harder to breath and the heat was getting more intense. She tried pushing herself a little further out. Grasping at anything that could help her.

She could vaguely hear a familiar voice screaming her name. The copper taste in her mouth getting stronger. Then a hand. Trying to pull her out of the intensifying heat.

Hazy sky started to come into view. Her body trying to succumb to the darkness once again. But his blue eyes wouldn’t let her. Her body limp as he dragged her away from the danger. Why was he so sad? Hadn’t he won the race?

His mouth was saying words she couldn’t hear. Moving her. Trying his best to keep her awake.

Then he was being pulled away. Fighting whoever it was trining to take him away from her. She didn’t want him to leave. Screaming at him not to let her go. It felt that the farther away he got the more her body hurt. The heat pulling her back in again. Hands lifting her back to the sky. She wanted Max back. The cloudiness of her mind clearly picturing him.

It didn’t take long for the darkness to come back.

~

“How’s she doing” asked Max. It was near the end of the race and he knew she was fighting to keep second.

“She’s fine, just focus on bringing it home.” Came GP’s voice through the radio.

He couldn’t help but check his mirrors every few seconds. Concerned at how close the Mercedes was getting to her car. But he knew she was a fighter and wouldn’t give up easily. He smiled while thinking about her. Maybe Daniel was right. He always talked about living with no regrets.

He’d decided. He would tell you after the race. After she won her fight.

Then it all changed to fast. He saw it happen. Her tire being hit at the perfect angle to send her flying. Tumbling through the gravel. The fire already seen and she hadn’t stopped spinning yet.

He held his breath as he waited. The red flags already out.

“Is she okay GP?” His voice came out panicked. He couldn’t lose her yet. Not before he got to tell her how he feels.

“We don’t know yet.”

His car was pulled over before he could get any farther. Getting out at an inhuman speed and sprinting to where to crash had been.

Her car was melded to the barriers. Halo shifted in odd directions. Fire consuming most of the area at this point. The Marshalls doing their best to put it out.

He knew he was being reckless but he didn’t car. She needed to get out. He could vaguely see her body dangling through the flames.

Max ran over and immediately was trying to grab for her. The Marshalls making to attempt at stopping him. Only spraying where his arms were to help him get her out of the car.

He felt her move. Shoving herself forward. Trying to connect her hand to his. Until finally, they managed.

The heat was becoming unbearable even for him. He quickly tried to pull her body from the car. Weaving her away body through the dented halo. Dragging her farther away from the smoke when he managed to get her out.

He snapped his helmet off, getting breath back into his lungs. Then he snapped off hers. He was yelling her name. Hopefully giving her senses something to hold on to.

Her eyes found his and he immediately was crying in relief. Holding her in his hands. Assessing the damage to her body.

It didn’t take long for the Marshalls to pull him away. Trying to get her into the medical vehicle so they could help her.

He fought them. Every rational part of his brain gone. Needing to stay with her his only priority. Even more so as she reached for him. Softly saying his name. Coughing violently as she did so. Tear staining her cheeks.

Daniel had run to him in the track. Gripping his shoulders and checking over him. Max’s mind was spinning though. Daniels words falling in deaf ears as he led Max away.

Even as they got back to the garage, Daniel didn’t leave. Concern for his friend keeping him posted at his side.

Max did end up winning the race. Only to stand on the podium missing you.

He barely remembers anything about it. Spacing out when Christian drove him to the medical center. The two waiting for any word on the female drivers condition.

Max saw the way blood had pulled into her mouth as she tried to speak to him. The image burned into his brain.

He wanted- no- needed to see her.

So when the doctor finally called her name, he nearly fell over from standing up so fast. The doctor listed every injury she sustained. Including that of major head trauma. Possibly hindering her ability to race ever again.

Max’s hand flew to his mouth. A nausea inducing feeling settling into his stomach. Christian sighed heaving as the doctor walked away. Leaving the two of them be.

“I know it’s hard, but I’ve had to watch you to pine after each other for years. I need you to be strong for her right now. She needs you now more then ever.”

Max could only nod his head. Steeling himself for whatever she needed from him.

As the two walked down to where she was staying, a room in the ICU, he almost cried at the sight. Both in relief and pain for her.

White bandages cover places around her jaw, arms, hands, and chest. Mostly for the burns, a little for her bones. There was a cast around her knee where they had to pop it back into place.

Machines let out a steady beeping sound and wires ran around her bed. A nurse talked her vitals motioned for them to enter.

“She called for someone every time she was awake.” The nurse stated. “It was mumbled but they think the name was Max.”

Christian glanced at Max briefly before turning to look back at the nurse. “Thank you.” Then the nurse turned and left. Leaving them with the sound of their breathing and beeping machines.

Christian patted Max on the shoulder. “I’m going to see how everyone at the garage is doing and report the news.”

Only Max remained at her side. Gently kissing her bandaged hand. Exhaustion taking over his body at some point and falling asleep. His head placed softly next to her.

He woke up an hour to the sound of beeping, only it wasn’t as steady this time. He looked at the woman beside him trying to asses if she was ok. He calmed when he saw her soft smile. Her eyes lighting up at seeing him.

He smiled back. The joy at seeing her awake setting in.

“I don’t remember much, but I remember you.” She rasped. “And I remember loving you for a long time.”

The realization hit him when the doctor meant by head trauma. However, in this moment the girl he loves is alive and just claimed to be in love with him.

“This is actually the first time you’ve said it, but I have also loved you for a long time. And I’ll continue to love you even if you want nothing to do with me.”

He’d help her through this. Even as both of them sat their crying. Then talking about life. He watched her smile through the pain and determined that he never wanted to see you without it again.

[iravinirattu]

ik im late but im playing through kaveh's hangout event and. the haikaveh brainrot is real

since these losers can't do it themselves i am here to offer my translation services ‼️

al haitham you liar. we are in a library using our indoor voices you did NOT hear us.

and even if you did mr. "i hate small talk" why'd u walk over hmm?? hmm??

"dont mind if i ignore you, i've got my earphones in" <- applies to everyone except kaveh

"okay now that i've gotten him distracted tell me what's wrong so i can discreetly fix it"

mans literally sent kaveh away to boost his confidence a bit + find out if he was okay.

"you annoted those books with such long and beautiful notes that eveyone hated lolol anyways check out those shelfs where there's a book with someone appreciating ur notes"

i can't get over how many exceptions al haitham makes for kaveh. he's not heartless and cruel in the way i often see him portrayed... but at the same time his entire demeanor is "i respect you as a person but won't go out of my way to do things for you unless it benefits me"

like he's one of the only characters who isn't super super close with the traveler, at least that's how i see it in the voicelines! he respects them as a friend, would consider doing things for them if they asked, but that's about it really!

but KAVEH. for someone who enjoys a peaceful life and has such a rational and efficient way of working it theoretically makes no sense for him to do all the things he does for kaveh.

like sure "maybe the cheering up kaveh is just to avoid having to deal with him drunk later", but that's too roundabout of a demeanor to be al haitham's style. plus, if he really didn't want to deal with a drunk kaveh, he could just kick him out.

but he doesn't because he cares, and kaveh does not understand that because he has created a vision of what he thinks al haitham is in his head, and in that vision he, kaveh, has no value so why would haitham have him around?? clearly he's got ulterior motives.

and they won't move further until kaveh lets go of that vision, and he can only do that if he truly realises his own worth, and until then haitham's gonna have to keep pushing him towards that from the shadows.

"he overworks himself, it's not healthy. he forgets the practicality of his ideals when he starts something, thinking he can pull through it, but reality hits him halfway. he can keep his ideals, that's fine, but i wish he was a bit more realistic about them."

"and despite all of the above, despite wanting to uphold his artistic integrity, he still puts everyone's needs before his own."

"his approach is too contradictory, and hence people don't see his talent. there are those who's resolve is so brash they are seen as confident and unshakable; and yet he who is more talented than them all falls behind because he's so easy to take advantage of."

al haitham taught me two new words today lol

irascible - someone with a quick temper

paragon - something viewed as a standard

"if he wants things to change he needs to find a balance between compromise and resolve. there is no way to please everyone, but instead of accepting this, he thinks he can nullify it if he takes all the burden instead."

kaveh's altruism stems from his own self-hatred, moreso than his desire to help others. and while doing a good deed puts a smile on his face, the melancholy guilt that trips him when he doesn't is far greater.

"if they are his ideals then i have no right to say anything about them. but he hurts himself so much as a result of that and i wish he would love himself a bit more."

al haitham has a great deal of respect for kaveh, not just as a scholar but as a person. and it's hard watching someone like that dig their own grave, and there's nothing you can do but wait in the sidelines, because they won't believe anything you say.

al haitham is constantly bickering with kaveh to get him to feel a little, challenge his ideals, find a way to make them work without sacrificing himself in return.

"at this poing talking to him is no use, he's convinced himself that his life only has purpose if it's in the hands of others. all people face hardships in life, but he seems to believe he deserves all he gets and more"

and then after kaveh is back he gives him space to talk about things that make him happy, and more importantly, appreciate himself.

how to tell kaveh i want to listen to his silly lil rants without sounding like a sap - al haitham's brain, probably

al haitham knowing all of kaveh's little buttons, and pressing the right ones after determining his mood, so he can show kaveh he loves him but still sound like a bitch.

"you did so well. i am so proud, and i hope you are proud of yourself too."

and sometimes he does click the wrong one, but then immediately goes back on it, becomes soft(er than usual), offers reassurance, changes the topic, and so on

we saw this in the parade of providence event, when kaveh got legitimately upset at one of haitham's remarks and he immediately went into I HAVE UPSET MY BF recovery mode.

and what i love the most in all this is KAVEH'S DUMBASS IS SO OBLIVIOUS TO THIS LMAOOO

but also it's sad because the reason he's oblivious is because he doesn't think he's worth being cared for like that.

haikaveh's whole vibe is "i love you, but i'd much rather you love yourself first" and "i'm your one and only, your only exception, the one you'd break all your rules for" and i love it.

[tannieastrology]

Astrology Observations #2

After a long hiatus i'm back with a few observations I've made in the time I was gone. Hope you like it:)

🥀 Neptune in the 5th house may frequently get into a unhealthy one sided love if they don't learn to stop ignoring the red flags in the person their interested in. The presence of Neptune in this house makes you delusional towards your interest and blurs the line between love and obsession. It's the fact that yall chase after people who are obviously not good for you in the first place. Remember guys, reciprocation is very important in love and if you're not their number 1 then they shouldnt be yours either. My advice would be to stop making scenarios in your head and to take them for what they show you NOT what they could be. Learn to assert your boundries and stop romanticizing people who do the bare minimum you deserve better.

🥀 Pisces Venus and getting scammed by their own love interests smh. People who have this placement need to be careful with who they get involved with. My cousin had this placement and she was dating this guy from Australia who was trying to come to America. They were in a relationship for 5 years and when they got a court marriage he got the green card and ran away. So basically he used her for her own benefit and when he got what he wanted he left. Most men she got with ended up treating her so bad but they seemed pretty nice at first. That's what Neptune does. Wherever it's in your chart could be where you are taken advantage of and easily decieved so be extra cautious.

🥀 Mars in the 12th house have terrible sleeping schedules. They're the type to stay up during night and sleep during the day and then take their anger out on everyone because they're sleep deprived. This is me telling you right now to fix your sleeping schedule and even though you might find more peace at night humans are not nocturnal. Who knows y'all not getting the right amount of sleep could be the reason why you feel so depressed.

🥀 Capricorn moons when are you gonna stop running away from your emotions. Life would be so much easier if you just learned to deal with your trauma and forget about the expectations that your loved ones have for you. I know life is unfair to you and your parents dont give you the love you deserve, but that doesnt mean you dont deserve to be happy. It's hard for people to love you if you push them away. Having a crush on someone with this placement, if underdeveloped, is not fun especially if he's a guy because they dont understand their emotions and dont put effort to understand them either. However, these are some of the most loyal, hardworking, mature people I have ever known when developed. They'll make you feel safe and loved in their arms if the truly love and care for you. They're good people but just have a wounded innerchild, that's it. Deep down I know y'all are softies so stop hiding it. Not everyone is out to get you I promise . Also please consider therapy.

🥀 Lilith in Scorpio women give maneater energy for some reason. Its hard to explain but they have this allure to them that people cant resist. Ex- Beyonce, Anne Hathaway, Taylor Swift, Briggete Bardot, Vanessa Paradis.

🥀 Venus square ascendant people I swear your beautiful stop thinking you're ugly. Sometimes you guys dont see your own beauty and the effect you have on people. You have the ability to turn heads when you walk into a room, but you dont see that because of the unbelievably high standards you've set for yourself. You're beautiful but the way you percieve what beauty is, doesnt align with your appearance or reality. Maybe it couldve been because people always commented on your appearence growing up or you feel pressured by society. Remember that beauty is the eye of the beholder. Just because you think your ugly doesnt mean that you actually are, youre just not your own type.

🥀 Mars square Uranus combined with Venus/Moon to Pluto is the epitome of enemies to lovers in synastry. Its like you hate them so much but have this unbelievable urge to slam them against the wall and kiss them. That person will annoy the shit out of you but the attraction is always underlying there and it gets hard to ignore. If you wanna a healthy relationship though, I would steer clear from this synastry because its toxic.

🥀 Lilith in the 2nd house/Taurus are what I would imagine a material girl to be. They love luxury things and will find a way to get what they want if they set their eye on something. Also they might get a certain job or enter a career just because it pays well. They're pretty hedonistic in general and love sex or anything Taurus/Venus related. Alot of the women here have nicely shaped bodies and lips even if theyre on the skinnier side. However, they could have eating disorders and body dysmorphia.

🥀 Leo Venus are so cute you guys remind me of a little puppy begging for attention:/ The thing is, yall are too flighty for my liking. A guy I know liked 2 girls at the same time and one of them even like him back and she asked him out, but he said no because he like the other one more like dude??? The other girl even had boyfriend but still he said no. Then he had the audacity to complain about the fact that he's never been in a relationship before. These people are more in love with the idea and attention of love then actually being in a relationship. As a Capricorn Venus this placement is a red flag sorry.

🥀 Saturn square Venus in synastry is so sad to watch its literally right person wrong time as a placement. The couple I was talking about above had this placement and they didnt end up together because they liked each other at different times and everyone ships them too but it just never happened. The girl was the Venus and the guy was Saturn.

🥀 Virgo Mars are secretly little freaks and if they have aspects from Saturn it could be someone who's into bdsm. I met a guy with this placement and he used to call me master and ma'am. For some reason i could sense the sexual undertone in his voice but idk. Virgos in general are the definition of gentlemen/lady in the streets freaky in the sheets, so keep your eye on them.

🥀 Taurus and Cancer together in the big six gives major milf energy.

🥀 Capricorn and Virgo together in the big six gives dilf energy.

🥀 I hate stereotyping placements in astrology but damn Gemini Venus men are fuckboys sorry. My bestfriend has this placement and he told me he like 4 girls at once. Also he dated all of his best friends and while one of them was in a relationship he asked her out while she was dating the other guy. He got rejected but still. I think this applies to guy with a Gemini Sun though because I've observed that Cancer Sun Gemini Venus guys behave differently.

🥀 Leo risings are not as confident as youd think. People I know with this placement are super insecure and have a love hate relationship with their hair.

🥀 10th and 11th house synastry is seriously so slept on. If you want a ride or die lover go find someone you have this synastry with. Major power couple vibes.

That's all for today don't hesitate to give feedback:)

[julilovesyou444]

hey baee that last fic u did was so good i literally loved it tysm it was so cute!! i have another request - could you write smth where the reader is the 5th member of the band and tom has lit been in love w her since they were kids, and it’s only when they’re like 16/17 that he finally accepts it and confesses to the reader?? like it’s so unlike him to be all soppy and stuff so he didn’t wanna accept his feelings and he’s like super nervous bc he doesn’t wanna like ruin the friendship or anything but ofc the reader likes him back 😋😋 THAT WAS SO LONG LMAO and super specific again but anyways tysm 💗💗💗

i know you ~ tom kaulitz

ty for requesting bb! I’m so happy you liked the last one!! hopefully this one is okay too! enjoy💗💗 if anyone wants, feel free to request

warnings: swearing, yelling, drinking, partying, kissing, thats it i think ??

a/n~ thank you for 100 followers!! I sound stupid saying that but seriously the support means so much to me, gustav req coming soon!! stay tuned and enjoy this little piece for now💟 also thank you for all the comments and messages, I LOVE YOU GUYS🫶

(okay but angry love confessions >>>)

sorry for any grammar or spelling mistakes !!

~

“are we doing anything tonight?”, i asked, laying down on the tour bus’ couch. My legs were draped across bills, he had insisted. We had been on the schrei tour for about a month now. the change from regular life to tour life was insane. we were on the schrei tour, about a couple months or so in. We had a little trouble adjusting at first, we were all getting into a lot of arguments, but now we were fine. Bill and Tom still get into arguments a lot, though. Tom has been acting weirder than usual, and i kinda felt like most of this behavior was aimed at me. It felt like he was distant, and I couldn’t figure out why. I have had a crush on Tom for just about as long as I can remember, but I always pushed away those feelings because I loved our friendship too much, and I didn’t want to confess to him and for there to be a rift in between us. I knew for a fact he didn’t like me back. He had so many absolutely gorgeous fan girls who liked him, so there was no way he liked me. He was also kind of a player. That hurt a little at first, but just like the whole situation, I learned to live with it.

“Uhh, i dont think so. We could do something, though. I wouldn’t mind.”, Bill replied, typing something on his phone. The door to the bus opened, and Tom walked in. The smell of cigarettes followed him. We were waiting on Georg and Gustav to finish up the grocery shopping. I thought he was going to go sit down on his bed, but I was wrong. He was staring down at me.

“What?”, i asked.

“Sit up. I wanna sit on the couch too.”, he said flatly. I groaned and sat up for a second, my legs still over Bills. I looked back and saw that Tom was sat behind me, both of his arms resting on the top of the couch. I fell back onto his lap, my head resting on top of his legs. I felt him tense up under me. He raised his eyebrows at me in a judgy way and I rolled my eyes.

“Who said I’m allowing you to do that?”, he said in a bratty tone.

“Deal with it.”

“I guess I will because it doesn’t really seem like I have a choice.”, he huffed.

“Okay, I’m tired of your guys’ bickering, I’m going to go check on Gustav and Georg and see what is taking them so long. Hans is in the store too, I guess he got tired of sitting and driving all day. I’ll be back soon.”, Bill said, lifting my legs up and letting himself get up. Before either Tom or I could protest, he left.

The silence engulfed us. It felt awkward, and I hated it. I had known Tom since we were seven. He had always been a bit of an asshole, but he was nice too. Lately I had just been getting asshole Tom. He seemed somewhat normal with everyone else, except for me. I started to overthink. Did he find out I liked him? Was he uncomfortable around me now? Did he think I was weird?

“sorry for laying on you, I’ll get up.”, i quickly said as I began to sit up. Tom grabbed my shoulder and pushed me back down into his lap.

“No. You can stay. If you want.”, he said flatly.

“Oh… okay, yea.”

I looked up at him as he gazed back down at me. I couldn’t figure out what was going on with him. What had changed between us? When he was a kid, he would treat me just like he treated everyone else in the band.

“Is everything okay?”, i asked softly.

“What do you mean?”

I could tell he knew exactly what I meant.

“Oh, I don’t know, it’s stupid, nevermind.”, I looked away.

“No, tell me.”, he used his finger to direct my chin back toward him. His eyes were slightly narrowed.

“I don’t know, Tom, you just seem different, that’s all. I feel like you haven’t been yourself lately, but I’m probably just dumb and it’s all in my head.”

He didn’t say anything.

“I’m sorry.”, i immediately apologized in fear of making him angry.

“Why? You have no reason to be.”

Everything he did confused me.

“Okay, well, I just feel like you’ve been a little distant.”

“I haven’t been.”, he said. He sounded a little bit annoyed.

“Okay, sorry.”

“Will you stop saying sorry?”, he lashed out.

I froze. He usually never yelled at me. He knew I hated when people yelled at me. No matter what the situation was, if someone yelled at me, I would cry. He knew that. I sat up and he tried to get me to stay. I shrugged him off and stood up.

“Um, I think I’m gonna go take a nap in my bunk, I’m pretty tired.”, I mumbled.

“Just wait-“

“Leave it, Tom.”, i said quietly before walking away and over to my bunk. I heard Tom curse underneath his breath. I laid down, and about a minute after doing so, I heard everyone load back onto the bus.

“Okay, we have about two hours left in our drive to Dresden and then you guys can get checked into your hotel and do whatever you want for the rest of the day.”, Hans, our driver, announced. Everyone agreed.

“Where’s did she go?”, i heard Bill ask. He sounded confused.

“Her bed, she’s taking a nap.”, Tom replied.

“What did you do now?”, Bill teased.

“Fuck off.”, Tom said back.

“Calm down.”, Georg said.

“Can we just go?”, Tom yelled up to the front of the bus at Hans.

I felt the bus start to move. I got under the covers. I was still very in love with Tom, and the way he was acting towards me hurt me so much. I didn’t know what I did wrong. I missed the way things were. I silently cried for a minute, I felt so stupid. He shouldn’t have this kind of effect on me. I hated crying. I felt like a baby. I fell asleep within a few minutes, trying to forget about what was happening.

~

I felt the bus come to a sharp stop. I blinked my eyes open. I could hear Tom and Bill arguing. I couldn’t see them because I was in the back of the bus, but whatever they were talking about, sounded serious. I stood up and walked over to the cracked door. They couldn’t see me, and I could only see a sliver of them.

Bill was standing up, lecturing Tom about something.

“If you like her, why don’t you just tell her??? I don’t get it.”

“I don’t fucking like her, just fuck off.”, Tom spat back at him.

“Yes you do! It’s obvious! You have since, forever! We can all see that you do. We also all see you treat her like she’s nothing, don’t you think that hurts her?”

“It is kind of obvious.”, Gustav trailed off. They were probably talking about one of the many girls Tom was leading on. He always did this. It didn’t surprise me.

“Shut up, Gustav. And so what if I do like her? How is that any of your business? I’m not going to jeopardize the band or anything else for that matter for some silly crush.”

“It’s not a silly crush, Tom. You’re in love with her.”, Bill said. It was silent.

My stomach dropped. So that’s why he’s been acting all weird. He’s in love with another girl. I couldn’t listen anymore. I stepped out the door and stretched, acting like I heard nothing.

Everyone’s eyes darted to me.

“Good morning, everyone! We are here?”, i said as cheerfully as possible. I wanted to play it off like I was completely fine and like the boy I’ve been in love with since I was seven wasnt in love with some other girl I didn’t even know.

“You just woke up?”, Georg asked. Everyone looked a little worried.

“Yea! Your guys’ fucking yelling woke me up so I figured you were probably arguing over the set list, of course you were dicks are deciding without me so I wanted to come and help choose.”, I laughed. Acting skills, on point. The band looked relieved.

“Well, if that’s over then let’s go get settled into the hotel.”. I suggested. Everyone nodded.

Hans went into the hotel lobby and got us checked in while we unpacked all of our stuff onto caddys. He came back, handed us our keys and told us our floor and room numbers. Georg and Gustav shared a room, as well as Bill and Tom. I had a room to myself, it had always been that way.

We took our stuff inside and went up the elevators into our hotel rooms. I unpacked my stuff pretty quickly before going over to Bill’s room to try and make plans for tonight.

I knocked on their door. Tom cracked it open and squinted his eyes at me before opening it all the way. I pushed past him but he grabbed me and pulled me back.

I furrowed my brows at him and tried to continue walking, but he wouldn’t let me.

“Can you not be so stubborn and just hear me out?”, he said. I stopped trying to get out of his grasp and crossed my arms over my body. I widened my eyes and shook my head a little, giving him a cue to start talking.

“I didn’t mean to yell at you earlier. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s with me lately, but you’re right, i havent really been myself.”

I sighed. I didn’t want him to feel bad, especially for loving another girl. It was rare that Tom genuinely liked someone, and I didn’t want to get in the way of that.

“I know why, Tom. Its okay, I understand now. I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or something. I wont get so close to you anymore.”

He looked so confused.

“Wait what? What do you mean ‘uncomfortable’? And I never said I didn’t want you close to me? What are you talking about?”

“Tom, I know you. You’re like my bestfriend, its okay. You don’t have to keep secrets from me. And im not gonna be upset if you don’t want me to be as touchy and stuff with you. I wouldn’t want to do anything to affect your relationship or whatever you are deciding to call it.”

“What are you talking about?”, he asked. He was acting so shocked. Then Bill walked out of the bathroom. Since he clearly wasn’t comfortable with telling me about the girl he was in love with, I wasn’t going to push, so I changed the subject.

“Bill!”

“Oh, hi!”, he smiled, noticing me.

“I was thinking, what if we went to a club tonight?”

“OH MY GOSH, YES!!! please! I need to party, I’ve been so drained from always doing shows, that would be just what I need. you’d come too, right, Tom?”, Bill asked.

“Yea, I guess.”, Tom nonchalantly replied. He acted as if he was too good for that stuff.

“Go tell Georg and Gustav.”, Bill instructed.

“Why do I have to? Why can’t you?”, Tom complained.

“Because you know I take the longest to get ready! It’s getting late already so I’d like to leave sooner than later.”

“Ugh, fine.”, Tom said, rolling his eyes before leaving the room.

“What’s his deal?”, i asked.

Bill hesistated.

“Uhh, i dont know, he’s been weird. Tom will get over it soon though, don’t worry.”

“Oh, okay… it doesn’t have anything to do with me, right?”, i asked, trying to slyly investigate.

I saw Bill physically get taken aback.

“Uhhhhh no! No, I don’t think so. Why do you ask?”

“Uh i just feel like he’s been acting weird towards me I guess. We used to like jokingly flirt and be pretty close but we don’t ever really do that anymore and it feels kind of weird, but I think I know why.”

“Oh… and why is that?”

“He’s in love with somebody. I don’t know who, but it’s probably one of the girls he’s slept with. I think Tom just feels weird with me being how I used to be like with him because he is in love with her, y’know what I mean?”

“Wait-wait, where did you get this from?”, Bills mouth was agape.

“Don’t be mad but I heard you guys arguing on the bus. I heard only part of it. I don’t know why I didn’t say anything, but obviously the rest of the guys know and Tom is refusing to tell me too. He doesn’t know I already know, but I don’t really understand what is stopping him from telling me.”

“Oh… I see.”, Bill said, contemplating his next words.

“I think he will tell you when he’s ready, I think he just wants you to approve of him and he thinks highly of you. I also think you make him a little nervous.”, he finally added.

“Me? Make Tom nervous? Funny, but no way.”, I laughed. Bill made a face and shrugged.

“Okay, I’m gonna go get ready, I’ll see you in like 45.”, I said, turning for the door.

“Wait!”

“Hm?”

“I have a question, answer honestly, please.”

“What is it Bill?”

“Do you have feelings for Tom?”

I could feel myself immediately get flustered and my cheeks start to get red. Fuck fuck fuck.

“What?”, i laughed awkwardly.

“Please, I’m your bestfriend, you can tell me if you do.”

“Why do you even think that? Tom is my best friend just like you are.”

“You aren’t denying it.”

“Bill, please.”

“Do you?”, he asked again.

I gave him pleading eyes, asking him to leave it alone.

“Bill…”

“You can tell me anything. I wouldn’t judge you at all.”, he placed his hands on my shoulders.

I sighed again. Even if I said I didn’t, I knew Bill wouldn’t believe me.

“Maybe?”, i scrunched my face up a bit.

Bill smiled.

“Why are you so happy?”, i asked, unclear on whatever was going on in his head.

“No reason…”

“Please, Bill. Don’t say anything to Tom. I don’t want to ruin our friendship, he means too much to me. And I don’t want to get in the way of his relationship with this girl.”

Bill smiled at me again. He shook his head.

“I promise I won’t. And if I were you, I wouldn’t worry about another girl.”

“I thought he loves her though?”

“Just dont worry about it, go get ready!! And look hot! Not that you don’t already, but go get more hot!”, he said pushing me to the door, a smile permanently engraved on his face.

“Bill- wait Bill-“I stuttered as he pushed me out the door.

“Hm?”

“Please, I’m serious. Don’t say anything.”

“I won’t. Boyscouts honor.”, he held two fingers in the air before slamming the door in my face. I was greeted by Tom leaning against the wall. I flinched, I hadn’t seen him because he was standing behind the open door. His arms were crossed over his chest.

“Jesus, fuck! You scared me.”, i yelled.

“Don’t say anything about what? What were you guys talking about?”

“Nothing.”

“I hate when you keep secrets from me.”

“You’re one to talk.”, i replied, defensively.

“What? Was it about me? Are you embarrassed or something?”, he took a step closer to me, his face now adorned with a smug grin. I scoffed.

“Get over yourself, Tom. The world doesn’t revolve around you.”

“Maybe not, but sometimes I begin to think you do.”, he teased.

I rolled my eyes and turned around to go to my hotel.

“Be ready soon!”, he called after me as i slammed the door.

~

Bill banged on my door, for the third time in the last five minutes.

“HURRY UPPPPP”, he groaned. I finished zipping up my shoe before opening the door. Bill looked annoyed but as soon as he saw me, his face lit up.

“Oh. My. God.”, he said, looking me up and down.

“You like?”, i asked, already knowing the answer. I was wearing a denim mini skirt that was way too short, a black lacy top that had long belle sleeves with a pretty cleavagey v-neck. It was cropped perfectly to display my belly button ring. I of course had a ton of jewellry on too, with a bit of makeup as well. I wore platform black boots that went up part of my calf. They were leather and I had been gifted them, but I rarely got the chance to wear them.

“Obviously!”, bill exclaimed.

I walked out to see the rest of the band waiting in the hallway. They all looked a little shocked when they saw my outfit. I usually didn’t dress-up too much, mainly because I didn’t have the confidence to do so. I decided to just let go and have fun tonight.

I walked past them and they just stood there. I clicked the button for the elevator and looked back at them down the hallway.

“Are you guys coming or…?”

They scurried down the hallway and got into the lift with me. We decided to go to a club that was only two blocks away. It was a pretty popular club, and we usually got into most clubs that we tried to because of our status in Germany. The bouncer recognized us and let us skip the line. Perks of being semi-famous I guess.

The music was so loud I could barely hear my own thoughts. Bill grabbed my hand to pull me away and get drinks. I turned away and grabbed Tom’s hand, dragging him along with us. At first he just let me hold his hand, but then he held it back, letting Bill and I lead him through the crowd of drunk people.

Bill ordered us all shots. Tom watched as i downed mine, and drank his not long after. Bill snaked his arm around my waist and pulled me away to the dance floor. We danced for a little before some random girl took it upon herself to steal him away. I couldn’t really blame her though. I danced by myself for a little but got bored and decided I wanted another drink. I made my way over to the bar and ordered a drink I saw another girl have. I began to drink it slowly, looking around. I made eye contact with a guy. He was by himself, looking me up and down. He smiled and i smiled back. He had to be at least 22. He approached me and asked if he could buy me a drink, despite me not even being close to the one i just got myself. I told him that if he wanted to, he had to dance with me first. He agreed, and we went over to crowd of dancing bodies.

At first, it started pretty innocent. Just giggling, drinking, and dancing. He started to get touchy, putting his hands on my waist. He had them slowly go from my waist, downwards. I would pull away whenever he got to close to the one thing he wanted, but no matter how many times I pulled away, he would always try to do it again. I looked over and was met with Tom’s eyes. They were staring at me, a sort of gross look on his face. Was he really that disgusted by me?

“can I get you that drink now?”, he winked. I internally cringed but said yes. Free drinks? Fine by me. He ordered me something, but nothing for himself. As soon as the drink was in my hand, he was urging and pressuring me to drink if. I did. Another drink, same deal. I downed the drink, wanting him to just leave me alone about it. Even though I told him not to, he ordered another drink. I tried to push it away, but he kept pushing it towards me. Finally, he put the drink down. I tried to back up, but he pulled me into a sloppy kiss that I wanted no part of. I tried to push him off but he was too strong, or maybe I was just to tipsy.

“get off of me.”

“please, stop”

but he wouldn’t.

“I don’t want this-“, i started, yet another plea for him to stop. a pair of hands yanked me back. before i could even see who it was, I saw Tom step in front of me and push that guy into the bar counter.

“She told you to get off her you fucking pervert. Is getting girls drunk enough so they hook up with you your only hobby. Pathetic.”, he spat. The guy looked like he wanted to say something back, or fight Tom, but he just cursed under his breath and stumbled away. I felt embarrassed. I shouldn’t have let myself get in that situation.

“Thank you.”, i mumbled to Tom. He shook his head.

“Just stop. You’re really fucking stupid sometimes y’know? Putting yourself in dumb situations like that.”, he rolled his eyes as he walked away. I wasn’t going to let him be that rude and just walk away, so I followed him. I watched as he weaved through people. I followed hom, but not to closely. I saw him open a door and go in before practically slamming it. It was too loud for anyone to even notice. I waited a minute before going into the door as well. There were a few flight of stairs. I climbed up them. I had finally made it to the top. I opened the door. The roof.

The cold air hit my face as I stepped out, the smell of cigarette smoke filling my senses. I saw Tom, standing towards the edge of the building, smoking as he looked out at the city. I began to walk over to him. The gravel crunched underneath my boots, making him turn around.

“What the fuck is your problem to me? You’ve been such a dick and I haven’t even done anything. I just want for things to be normal.”, i said, angered.

“They aren’t normal.”, he said, taking a puff of his cig.

“And how is that in any way my fault? I haven’t done anything to you, yet you are treating me like shit. You loving some girl doesn’t mean you can act like that, it doesn’t have anything to do with me.”

“It has EVERYTHING to do with you!”, he shouted.

“What the fuck did I do?! I don’t understand what I did to make you despise me so much! Why do you hate me so much?!”, I yelled back.

“I don’t hate you, I’m in love with you, you fucking idiot!”, he yelled. His eyes widened at his own words.

I was so confused. It didn’t feel real. I could barely comprehend what he had just said.

“What?”, was all I could manage to say. He looked so nervous, his hands shaking.

“I’m fucking in love with you, okay?? I have been ever since I’ve known you. I’ve tried to push it away, I’ve always denied it, but i cant anymore. I’ve tried everything and I can’t! I’ve slept with countless girls but the only thing I’ve ever been able to think about is you. You’re always on my mind and no matter what I do, I can’t seem to get you out of my head. I’ve been being mean to try and distance you from me and make myself stop loving you but it’s fucking torture and it’s stupid and it hasn’t even worked in the slightest. Bill told me you heard us on the bus, it wasn’t some girl, we were talking about you. Its you, and it always has been. I feel sick when I see you with other guys, I get so jealous I can barely handle it. All I’ve ever wanted is you, and not having you is killing me. I’m sick and tired of pretending like I don’t love you because I do! Hate is the last thing on this earth that I feel about you. I love you so fucking much, and I’m sorry for treating you the way I have been.”, he yelled.

I could hardly believe anything I was hearing. Tom Kaulitz? In love with me? This is a prank, right? It felt like a dream.

“Are you serious?”, i asked.

“Really? After that long ass rant or about loving you, you don’t believe me?”, he dryly laughed.

“Tom, im serious, please…”

“Yes, I’ve never been more sure on something in my entire life.”

“Why now? Why haven’t you said anything?”, I asked, still unsure.

“I wanted to, but I didn’t know how to. We would flirt, but you always took it as a joke. I wasn’t joking. I loved you so much as a friend too, I was scared that if I told you, I would lose you. i also hate talking about my feelings and shit, i feel so stupid whenever I do.”

Part of me was still processing everything. Boy I had been in love with forever, loved me back. In the exact same way I loved him, he loved me. I couldn’t hold back anymore.

“fuck it, i love you too. I’ve been in love with you since we were like eight, and I never said anything because I thought I had no chance with you and I didn’t want to make things weird. The only thing I wanted was for you to stay my friend and for you to like me. When you started acting like you didn’t, I felt horrible and I felt like there was no hope for anything for us. I acted like I didn’t feel anything for you because all I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy. Even if it meant you being with someone else. I love you, Tom.”, I rambled.

He closed the distance between us. He placed his hands on each side of my jaw, his thumbs slowly caressing my cheeks. I could feel myself get goosebumps, staring up into his dark eyes.

“you were going to let me be with someone else so I could be happy? even if it meant you weren’t?”, he softly asked. I nodded.

“what did I ever do to deserve someone so sweet liek you?”, he murmured. His eyes glanced down at my lips. He took one of his thumbs and pulled it across my bottom lip, tugging down at it gently.

“God, you don’t even know how long I’ve wanted to kiss you.”

“How long?”

He laughed.

“Forever. I want to kiss you now more than ever.”

“Prove it.”

He chuckled at my boldness. Tom leaned in, our noses brushing against each other. I couldn’t stand the teasing anymore, I had waited too long. I dipped his face and pulled him down. Tom, smiling into the kiss at my neediness. It was so passionate, I could kiss his mmm forever. Our lips fit together like puzzle pieces. I pulled him in more, unsure if he was even able to get any closer than he already was. he tasted like Marlboro Reds and liquor. I loved it, I couldn’t get enough of him. One of his hands found its way down to my waist, while the other one tangled itself in my hair. He tugged ever so slightly, earning a soft groan from me. Tom smiled at this, getting the exact reaction he wanted. He pulled away, our foreheads resting against each other.

“fuck, you look so pretty. I wanted to tell you how good you looked earlier tonight but i was too scared.”, he mumbled. I smiled, the sweetness that I had missed was returning to Tom. I pulled him back into another kiss, the first one being incredibly addicting. Our tongues fought for dominance, of course he won.

The door to the roof swung open, startling both Tom and I. We attempted to pull away, but I before I could even see who it was, I heard Bill’s voice.

“I was looking for you guy- OH MY GOD.”, he said, a little shocked. his face quickly turned into a smile.

“What took you guys so long?”, he teased.

“Oh shut up.”, Tom laughed, his hand now around my waist.

“Well, I ordered us some more shots, so… c’mon. you guys can finish whatever this is later.”, he smiled, waking back into the building.

“let’s go inside.”, i said.

Tom kissed me again, this time with the full intent of being sweet and gentle.

“it feels weird to say out loud now, but I love you.”, he said into my ear. I couldn’t stop myself from smiling. I looked back up to him, seeing the very boy that i fell in love with all those years ago.

“I love you, too.”

~

a/n #2 ~ THIS WAS SO LONG IM SORRY. also sorry for this taking so long the first one I wrote DELETED😕 I’m on vacation right now but I hope you guys enjoyed this long ass story.

[meieis]

My note: Actually, it's a scenario that comes to everyone's mind, and here I was normally writing another Fic, but I abandoned it and started this one. Lute and more Lute♡ I use translate, so I may miss mistakes from time to time, I don't know exorcists angels have souls... But let's say they have

Synopsis: Lute have Vaggie's fate and is found by Charlie Morningstar's twin

Warning(?): Swear (words 'bitch' and 'fucking' were used) nothing

fallen angel (Lute x reader)

She had everything. she was the lieutenant of the exorcist army and also Adam’s right hand, but she lost it all with just a fucking 'mistake'

Actually, everything was fine for Lute at first. Lute was doing a normal 'exorcist' job, killing sinners or hellborns. And she had her sights set on killing a mother and a child, so she caught them in an alley, she killed the mother, but... The child escape, and seeing this, Vaggie appeared with a threatening facade and accused her of pardoning the child’s life. Vaggie attacked her from the back, like a disgusting bitch, and ripped out her exorcist wings and blah blah blah. Eventually Lute passed out and when she woke up she tried to pull herself to a 'safe' place, although where in the hell is safe? It's a mystery.

She heard someone approaching her, and felt that person looking at her from the shadows with a 'sinister' smile. you approached her "Don't come closer, sinner!" She said, looking angry, unable to defend herself but not going to die without a fight, she heard the sinister person in the shadows further start from him laughing, "Sinner?..." And laughed even more, finally approaching Lute, she knew this person. Charlie Morningstar's twin, the 'loved' or 'feared' heir of hell.

You put your hand on Lute's chin, "Hm... I can help you." You probably didn't recognize her, or you didn't care who she was, even if she knew you, it's normal for you not to recognize her, after all, she was always wearing her mask, she had wings and a halo... But there was none of them right now. "Does it look like I need help?" Lute said angrily and pushed your hand away "You need, don't try to look strong, if I leave you here right now... They might rape you, cannibals might think you're dead and try eat you, kill you, everyone will try to use you, things like that" you kept your smile and looked at Lute.

"If you give me your soul, I will protect you." You say but Lute chose not to trust you, after all, you were a hellborn, whom she at first thought was You are a sinner. You are Daughter/Son of Lucifer Morningstar. You didn't even give her reason to trust. "Why should I trust you? 'everyone will try to use you' what's different about you?" Lute heard you laughing at her words "What's the difference? I'm offering a contract and deal, I'll provide you with a home, I'll protect you, but your soul will be mine" Lute frowned and was about to say something when she was silenced by you. "Shh, shh, baby... You're a flower that doesn't know anything about this place, a little stupid, a little clueless, you try to look strong but-" (Remember Hazbin Hotel is a musical, so you start singing) "Please dont start sing, just say" Lute said looking fed up and you laughed "ok well, my little clueless flower... we have a deal?" Lute didn't trust you, but the deal is simple, neither person can break the deal. "Protect me and provide me with a home... In return, my soul is yours."

[mythicalmyles]

A dream i had has been haunting me so here i am.

A jock any sport my dream wasnt specific just a popular jock is the reader and he is just so popular and everyone loves him and of course everyone assumes since his this big jock his the dom in the relationship between him and his boyfriend when in fact his the complete opposite.

The boyfriend can be in the band or a part of the cheer team again it depends on the sport and my dreams never clarify, He hears one of these conversations and has a brilliant idea that he was gonna put the reader in his place and everyone is gonna know that place.

I have no idea what kinks would be used, Just kinky and maybe some praise but ropes are involved or something, just use your imagination

Honestly just nerds putting jocks in their place 🤭🤭

U have in turn haunted me with this request 😤 i hope u enjoy since u didnt say who so i used toby bc hhhh i hope das oke <3 yall need to tell me more dreams ong (football is soccer) also sorry for so much toby but hes my cc and i need hims content

/tobys back story for today, put up w bullying met you, go to college together he kills his parents a couple weeks before instead leaving them in the basement and hiding their deaths, tobys already snapped but still has comprehension of who he was as a kid/

college au/jealousy kinda fic/comfort at start kind

/violence(toby gets violent too a character who doesn’t matter)blood/minor gore(?)/

You let out a gasping huff, bending over hands on your knees as your body scraped for oxygen. Sweat caused your football strip to stick to you, you dragged the wet clothing off of your sticky body, fanning it hoping to cool yourself down. “Thats it for today ladies!” The coach shouted, finally dismissing you all from practise.

You wiped the sweat off of your brow using your shirt as you jogged to the locker rooms. Mentally preparing yourself for the stink of many sweaty men crammed into one room, you pushed the door open immediately hit with the odour and cringing. You ignored it and made your way to your locker, you were convinced of the fact the cleaners had never stepped foot in here.

You all but threw yourself down into a bench after collecting your things, leaning against the wall and taking deep breaths. Your soaking hair clung to you and you brushed it away, the wetness helping it stay out of your face. A towel was thrown next to you and you cocked an eyebrow up at the intruder, trying to keep the scowl off of your face when the team captain came into view.

His cocky smirk drove you to the brink of insanity, the urge to knock it off of his arrogant face overwhelming. “Whats the deal with you and twitchy?” You glowered at him. “Dont call him that.” He had the audacity to laugh as he began stripping, the locker room falling silent as your voices bounced around the room. “Well?” He laughed armed raised and looking around as if he was confused. “You fucking him or something?” You tried not to flush, doing your best to cover any affect he might see with a glare. “If we were? So what?” You challenged, keeping eye contact with the prick.

He laughed and shook his head. “Calm down princess no need to get so angry, was just askin’.” Before you could respond your boyfriends voice had your attention to him, shock covering your face as you thought he still had band practise. “Speak of rats and they come crawlin’.” Your captain was incredibly lucky your entire life was banking on a sports scholarship.

“Fuck you want?” Toby’s deep voice always sent shivers running up your spine, the anger in his tone not helping. He sounded even hotter when he was spitting fire at someone. You took a deep breath, ready to tell Toby to forget it and to go home. “Yeah he was telling us alll about how he fucks you.” Paul chucked, arms crossed as he smirked at you both.

You could feel how angry Toby was getting at this point, dealing with his shit for way longer then you had at this point. What you didn’t expect was for Toby to lunge forward slamming straight into paul and slamming his head off of the ground, you froze completely as your teammates rushed to pull the scraping two apart, well, Toby was currently punching Paul and Paul was currently taking it while wailing for him to stop.

Toby had changed a lot recently, he seemed a lot quicker to react with anger then he use to be. Eyes holding something dark that scared you, you wanted to run and pull him off. You really did. But Toby barely looked human in that moment, blood covering his face as he continually wailed into Paul. Your team mates finally pulled them apart and when Paul stood you couldn’t deny the relief that flooded you as you quickly ran to Toby.

You ran through the corridors, your footsteps slamming against the ground and echoing off of the walls. Toby suddenly took over, dragging you instead. Surprise took over you and you tried your best not to trip as you both ran towards your home.

Luckily you didn’t live far away, having a small house your parents had left you. You both practically broke the door down and you paused to stare at the back of Toby’s head. “Yo-you could’ve killed him.” You choked out after a few minutes of silence.

“And so what?” He suddenly growled out, bloody face staring you down as his eyes bugged out. Rage was still burning through his veins, you could see his twitching worsen as his breathing got more laboured. He marched towards you backing you into a wall. His hands slamming either side of your head. “So wh-what, huh? Whu-what if i di-d-d-id!.” He slammed his palms against the wall as his stutter worsened. “What then?” His voice was normal, almost sounding hallow as he spoke. His dull brown eyes gazed into yours, you could see the unshed tears gathering in his lashes. You felt a warm heat flood inside of your chest, making a promise in that moment.

Your shaking hand came to rest on his cheek, causing him to flinch. Shock was written across Toby’s face. “I’ll always love you.” You took a second to clear your throat. “No matter what. No matter what wrong you do. I. Love. You.” You kept looking into his eyes, hoping with each word it’d work its way into his head.

Toby’s mind had went blank, his heart twisting almost painfully as he say the earnest look in your eyes. Shining, full of love for him. Toby pushed his lips against yours, tongue quick to push its way into your mouth. He gripped your ass tight and pulled you close together, grinding your hips together. His mood swings always threw you through a loop, this one happened to be the most unsettling. “You know who yo-you belong to r-r-ri-right.” He stuttered out, eyes glued to your face. You bit your lip. “I belong to Toby Rogers.”

That was all it took for him to yank your jeans down, scooping you up into his arms and press you against the wall as his tongue made its way down your throat. Moans poured out of you as he ground against you, your back scraping against the wall with the force. “Th-tha-ts right. Good boy.” He made quick work of his fly, his cock flopping out and hitting against you. All you could do was moan in excitement as Toby lined himself up, he found his way to your neck his breath tickling your skin. He licked his lips, tongue flicking against your skin and sending your body shivering.

“T-Toby.” You whined you, grinding down against his cock and moaning as he pressed against your hole. “Sti-still we-wett from this morn-morni-.” He cut himself off with a growl, slamming into you and relishing in your scream and the way your nails dug into his shoulders. Toby easily fucked you against the wall, almost acting as if you weighed nothing. You wondered whether it had to do with his disorder or not. Toby was quick to fuck any thought out of your brain, in love with the dumb mess you turned into when you had sex.

“Who ma-makes you feel thi-is good?” You kept eye contact as he used you like a flesh light. “F-fuck, Toby, only Toby. You!” You screamed out as toby railed into your prostate, eyes crossing as he fucked you stupid. Toby growled and bit into your shoulder, you let out a yelp. Pain flooded your neck and Toby pulled back to give you a bloody smile, the idea of being marked by Toby forever going straight to your heart and cock. “Do it! Ma-mark me up. Want every-on-one to know who i bel-belong to.” You moaned out, Toby’s thick cock wreaking you from the inside out.

You choked as your orgasm came quick, sending you screaming Toby’s name as you came on his cock. The tight heat of your ass was enough to make him cum, the feeling of you actually cuming on his cock is what sent him over the edge, desperately fucking into you. Part of him hoped he left a hole no one else could ever fill.

His knuckles went white as he clung to to you, deep breathing as he rode his high out inside of you. He fell into you, pushing you into the wall as you held him. Hand making its way into his fluffy brown hair, you tugged it lightly to get those beautiful brown eyes you loved so much to look at you. Everytime you looked into his eyes you felt breathless, despite the tired, cold, hardened look to them that had developed, they still made your knees weak. “I love you.” You whispered against his lips, slotting them together after he repeated his words to you.

[fiapartridge]

Will choking blurb pls and THXXX

GIRLLLLLL OMGGJRJE ALSO IMAGINE THIS IS LIKE IN COLLEGE OKAY AND I WENT SO OVERBOARD BUT (didn’t even know i switched povs during this but i’m too tired to correct it sooo just deal w it LOL)

they would be having the most amazing ass post game sex like i’m literally dying just thinking about it

like imagine he wins and ur waiting outside the locker room and he’s all showered and clean and in his suit and he’s around his friends and u whisper in his ear “got a prize for you tonight”

and hes smirking bc his ass knows hes gonna get fucked tn “yeah? what’s that?”

and she shrugs “guess you’ll just have to find out”

but the guys want to go out and celebrate the win and will is protesting that shit because mans wants to see his prize, but ryan’s got his arm slung around him like “c’mon man don’t be a debby downer. come with us”

and he’s like “rather be coming on something else”

AND RYANS TOTALY OBLIVIOUS “what was that?”

and wills like “nothing let’s go”

so the guys and their gfs go to a bar and all will can think about is u and just going home and fucking u into oblivion and every single time he sees you get up or feel u staring at him, his pants tighten until he’s had enough and is like “y/n and i are gonna go”

and all the boys know what’s up because will has been staring at u the entire night like he’s ready to fuck u on that bar counter in front of everyone so everyone’s like see ya will

AND WILL LITERALLY DRAGS U OUT OF THAT BAR AND IS MAKING OUT WITH U ON THE WALK BACK TO HIS APARTMENT LIKE U GUYS WILL LITERALLY TAKE BREAKS ON THE WALK BACK JUST SO HE COULD PUSH U UP AGAINST A WALL AND MAKE OUT WITH YOU

but girl once u get one foot in that apartment, shit goes down

ur slamming him against the door, biting his bottom lip and he’s smirking and sweaty and it’s literally the hottest thing ever

and he’s like “gonna give me my prize now?”

AND GIRLLLL HES SO CAUGHT OFF GUARD WHEN U START KNEELING DOWN IN FRONT OF HIM AND UNZIPPING HIS PANTS AND TAKING HIM IN UR MOUTH

LIKE HIS HANDS LITERALLY FLY TO UR HAIR AND HIS ORHER HAND IS GRIPPIF THE DOOR KNOB FOR DEAR LIFE SO HIS LEGS DONT GIVE OUT

he is a moaning mess.

and that’s his first orgasm

and he’s literally still breathing so hard when you take his hand and drag him to his bedroom

u push him onto the mattress and he’s lazily trying to like take off ur clothes but u push him farther into the mattress sayinf shit like “tonight’s your night, baby. just wanna make you feel good” WHILE U BITE HIS EAR LOBE AND HES LITERALLY SO HARDDDHSHSH

and he’s watching you slowly take off ur clothes in front of him like it’s some type of show and u climb on top of him, ur hands resting on his chest

and your mouth is so close to his and he’s trying to get u on his cock but u whisper into his mouth “tell me what you want, baby”

and he’s breathing so hard and he’s like “you baby i want you. fuck, i want you so bad”

and ur like “gotta be more specific”

“fuck, i want to be inside you. i wanna feel you so bad.”

and she starts smirking, moving herself on top of his cock and sinking down and he releases the most guttural groan ever LIKE HE WAS SAVING THAT SHIT THE ENTIRE NIGHT

and at first it starts out all slow and shit but he’s literally so fucking impatient and starts to throw his arms on her hips and fucking up into her so she grabs his throat and bounces equally as hard and fast AND GIRL HE IS MOANING LIKE CRAZY

his hand lands on hers on his throat and HES GRIPPINF TIGHTER?’cmcncmdmdndn

and he’s praising her likeeeee “so good, baby. so fucking tight” AND UGJ WHEN SHE SPITS IN HIS MOUTH ITS OVER ITS SO OVER FOR HIM

HES MOANING HES LIKE “fuck, im gonna cum” AND SHE CLIMBS OFF HIM AND SUCKS HIM DRYYEUJWJEJENN

it’s the hottest thing ever.

[roughentumble]

anyway the royal woman "explains" everything to geralt, and suddenly he feels like an outsider all over again. he doesnt understand anything on land, all he's doing is holding jaskier back from his future. he feels stupid, for ever dreaming of a cottage by the sea with a prince. he decides to leave. jaskier sees him go, but isnt fast enough to stop him, is only fast enough to see a flash of scales as geralt regains his tail and hides away at the bottom of the sea.

jaskier visits the beach every day, hoping for geralt to come back, now that he knows geralt isnt just his friend, but also his handsome rescuer. and geralt knows because he hides by the dock, hoping to see jaskier finally moving on. but he doesnt.

geralt hides. he stays hidden. it's what's best for everyone, he reasons. he cries, merfolk tears turning to jewels on his cheeks. he feels foolish. he feels like he'll cry himself a whole new ocean.

he collects them all, takes them to yen to trade. they're very powerful and very rare, after all, a sea witch could do a lot with them. he manages to communicate to her-- his legs are gone but the deal still holds, he traded his voice-- that jaskier stays on the shore, that he cant live his life there. he wants yen to use her magic to make him leave, so he can move on and be happy with his fiancee. she considers his deal, then tells him to visit the beach in three days, when the sun is high overhead. she takes the gems.

she finds jaskier there. on the beach. and she makes him a deal, too. come to the beach in three day's time, when the sun is high and only when it's high, wearing two shirts and two pants. and he'll get the answer he seeks. he asks why she's doing this for him, and she says she's simply an interested party. and who is he to look a gift horse in the mouth?

when geralt arrives, the beach is empty. blessedly empty. his heart aches, because belonging and joy and a future has fled him, but at least jaskier can move on. he lays his head on the sand and rests.

a hand grabs his arm, tight. tight enough he cant slip away. his head jerks up and he sees jaskier, standing there, clinging to him like a lifeline. "geralt! it's you, it's really you! why did you leave me?" he begs

geralt twists and squirms, but he doesnt want to hurt jaskier, and he's at a disadvantage on his belly in the sand. it comes out, eventually. he signs that jaskier has a life. a future. "you cant stay on this beach forever. you have a fiancee. you'll be king." his face is screwed up in agony.

"oh geralt," he says, pets geralt's hair, pushes it out of his face. "that's not true at all." geralt's head whips around to stare at him. "im not engaged to anyone. and im too far down the line to gain the throne. what made you think that?"

geralt feels dumbfounded. betrayed. unthinkably foolish. "i dont understand." he signs, because he doesnt. he doesnt understand kings and princes and being the 8th son, he doesnt understand jaskier's eldest brother has a brood of children of his own, all of them more ready for the throne than jaskier will ever be. jaskier tries to explain, but mostly what it makes geralt get is that he was lied to, and he bought it. he wants to bury himself in the sand.

"geralt, darling, who told you all this? why did you think i was leaving you?" and geralt tells him, tells him about the royal who misled him, who wanted jaskier's hand and his position. and jaskier's face grows dark. "no. no, i wasnt promised to her. and i certainly never will be, now."

geralt's head is spinning. "it doesnt matter," he signs, "it's too late. you cant live your life stuck on this beach. i gave up my legs."

jaskier shakes his head. "of course i can. who cares about that?" jaskier says, breathless, "i always wanted a cottage by the sea."

and geralt cant help himself. he surges forward, lips meeting jaskier's. jaskier holds him tight, cradling his face so sweetly. its everything they wanted but have been denying themselves for so long

geralt doesnt know how, but when he pulls away he /knows/. he can feel it in his throat. merfolk sing to communicate, and he thinks back, remembers the tune they'd been singing on the ship before it capsized all that time ago. twists the words to make it his own he sings soft and sweet, a low murmur; "my heart is pierced by cupid / i disdain all glittering gold / there is nothing can console me / but my jolly sailor bold"

jaskier gapes at him. "his eyes are ocean waters / and his hair is like a foal's / i will follow where he leads me / wherever he may go"

"you-- your voice-- geralt, how" he starts, heart beating out of his chest, and geralt just shakes his head

"i have no idea. i just knew it was back."

"took you long enough to figure it out." yen says, and they both whip around to stare. she lounges back against the dock like she hasnt a care in the world. "honesty was all you needed to get back your voice."

"you set me up." geralt says, because she did.

"and it worked out for you." yen says, because it did.

"you know the sea witch?" jaskier asks, and they both snort.

"we're on again off again." yen replies dryly, "though it seems off again for the forseeable future." just to make them both turn red.

she removes a bottle from the bag she has slung around her hips. she holds it out to him. her eyes are softer then before. "merfolk tears. a powerful ingredient. since i did no magic here, i figure you could take back half the payment." geralt looks shocked. "plus a few other ingredients."

he takes it from her carefully. "you wont be a merfolk with legs if you drink this." she warns him. "you'll be human. your tail, your gills, the depths of the sea, will be lost to you forever. no going back."

he thinks about it for all of a few seconds before tilting his head back and swallowing it all. "that's what i figured." yen says quietly, a soft smile playing on her lips.

it hurts worse than the last time. scales slough off in so much bloody viscera, and jaskier's eyes well with tears as he holds geralt through it. yen stays for it all.

when it ends, finally, with geralt whole and human in jaskier's lap. there are scars on his legs, starting at his feet and running in a straight line all the way up to his crotch, as if his fin had been ripped in half. but he's whole, and he's human, and he kisses jaskier again. and again, and again, and again.

when they part for air, jaskier panting and geralt naked as the day he was born, jaskier's face lights up and he says "oh! that's why you told me to wear two!" he peels off one of two shirts to give to geralt, who looks at him quizzically. "i thought it was a magic thing, you sneak."

"it's a sort of magic." yen says, smiling slyly. "just remember, geralt-- you owe me for this." he nods in agreement, and she slinks back to the depths, the air too dry for her to stand much longer.

jaskier lends geralt a pair of pants as well, too tight but better than nothing. they walk back to the castle together, hand in hand. and in a few years' time, they get that cottage by the sea

[rosedark88]

My Opinion On Why Sam gets more hate & his mistakes gets highlighted more than Dean..

The quick answer is that the audience react based on the characters reactions, and the Show is told from Dean’s POV.

The long answer: During 15 seasons, How many times did Sam actually say hurtful things to Dean? Aside from season 9 i cant think of any. Even when Dean has done questionable things like killing Amy and lying about- all Sam did is ask for space, and even when he was pushed for a confrontation by Dean.. all he said was u lied to me.

Sam is always very careful using his words around his big brother, he almost never lashes out at him, if he did it means things have gone dark. Sam never ever reminds Dean of his past mistakes—and i hope no one says that Dean never made mistakes—Even when Dean says hurtful things to Sam, he mostly just skip it, and when Dean tries to apologise to Sam, he tells him he doesn’t need to.

And if u need a reminder on Dean greatest hits:

S4 Dean: “ If I didn't know you, I would want to hunt you”

S5 Dean: “I don’t know whether it’s gonna be demon blood or some other demon chick or what, but…I do know they're gonna find a way to turn you”

Dean after getting the gentle sweet treatment 99% of the times from his baby brother, the 1% he doesn’t get it, he acts like a kicked dog, and he cant and wont ever move on.. i am glad we had Bobby in the earlier seasons calling Dean out on that by saying “ i am sorry ur feelings are hurt princess “

Dean actually always goes out of his way to take whatever Sam says in the worst way possible. Like clearly in S9 the point of conflict that Sam didn’t want to be possessed, and he wont do it to Dean if the situation reversed. But Dean took as, oh “ you are not going to save me…” actually its Dean own insecurities, and his own self hatred that wanted him to believe that Sam doesn’t love as much, as he loves him.

And even when Sam back tracked what he said in the final and worked an entire season trying to save Dean even intimidating a human into making a deal. Still Dean had to remind him again of what he said, a sign that he didn’t move on. So of course the audience didn’t.

Didn’t Dean tell Sam he should have died instead of Charlie! Did he backtrack that? Even apologised ? No to both, and almost everyone forgot about that because Sam did——and plz no one says it was the mark of cain talking, because i dont see Sam getting a free pass with demon blood—-

I don’t judge the guys for this dynamic. I think Sam is willing to forgive his brother because he owes him so much, because Dean has been taking care of him his whole life. Dean choose to be a good older brother and NOT mirror his father awfulness, so he earned his place in Sam’s life.

However i wish the show fans see the two sides, not only Dean POV.

[misfithive]

Thank you for the way you handled that ask about Wille's and Simon's drama. Because that sentence 'On the other hand, Simon needs to have a bit of more drama thrown at him' made me so furious. It was so insensitive! The fact that he suffers in silence and alone in his room not to bother other people doesn't mean he doesn't suffer enough and needs some more! The fact that he didn't jump on the table or say he feels like dying doesn't make his experience any less traumatic than Wille's. What he needs is to process his trauma rather than brushing it aside, not to get some more.

Once again thank you, you put it all beautifully.

Yes 😭 this is a very common hope for Simon to get pushed to the point of a breakdown but it’s like .. at what cost?😩 He has been thru enough trauma for a lifetime and a half. And the thing is, most people cannot actually stop and process the trauma if they are constantly being hit with more. I think we are more likely to get simon opening up if he is able to find safety which he did not really have. he is expected to be the strong one by everyone in his life. His friends try their best but still, telling him to rebound is the same message him mother gives him of “you are strong”. Bc they dont want him to sit with his feelings and cry (it’s uncomfortable and not the norm for them), they want him to forget about the Prince and move on. Up until s3 he has not had someone to cry to- thats why he writes his songs and holds wille’s sweater. Even when he is talking to Rosh and Ayub in the kitchen if he was actually crying to them i feel they would show it- it appears he probably cried on the way home before they came (this is my hc if yall think he cried to them u can believe that if u want)

i think Simon’s character is very accurate to what a lot of men, people socialized as men, and also people of color experience and how we deal with our emotions. I get that for a lot of people it is cathartic to sob but for many of us, crying like that especially in front of someone else is terrifying. we are conditioned that letting other people see u in that vulnerable state is a weakness (puts you in danger or will be used against you & that anger is safer). I know some men who have not cried since they were children and told me they dont even remember what it feels like to cry or how to actually let the tears fall from their eyes. It is messed up. Is that fair? No. Is it true that it is a weakness? No. But not everyone learns that. The patriarchy sucks and harms us all lol i wish people would understand that and have empathy for the deep sadness that simon is carrying and hiding whether he lets it out or not.

Not to mention everyone deals with their trauma differently and i think it is cool that the show is realistic and shows people dealing with things in different ways. Simons character is relatable bc of this and instead of people saying “it’s not fair that Wille gets to express himself in this way and Simon doesn’t” i want people to think about WHY Simon is not be able to. I know wanting simon to cry comes from a good place but it does upset me a little bit bc even if he doesnt have a breakdown s3, that doesnt mean that the writers hate him and arent doing his story justice which is what people say abt s2. At the same time, if he does have a break down, that would be totally warranted. i'm just saying that if it doesn't happen that's valid too.

THAT BEING SAID. I think s3 is a great opportunity for Simon to hear from Wille that he doesnt always have to be strong and that Wille can be a reliable safe space. I think Wille’s tenderness is something that Simon sees and now that they are on good terms and Wille has worked to rebuild the trust, I hope Simon will turn to Wille for emotional support however that looks.

Ermmmn I’m very sorry that this turned into a dump but i had to get it off my chest.(made a few edits for clarity and spelling mistakes bc i posted this in the middle of the night)