Can’t explain in simple words how much I love Shuri’s character.
The way she was so consumed by grief but kept on insisting she’s fine and buried herself in her work. The way she hated herself for not seeing her brother’s illness and the hunting guilt of not being able to help him. The way she was so angry at the world and yet still so full of love and compassion towards this unknown girl who she was willing to go to war for because the thought of sacrificing her was too much. The way she stepped up and led her people and freaking resurrected the black panther after everyone gave up on it. The way she showed mercy at the end and was willing to end that cycle of vengeance and death even when facing the man who killed her mom. Like how? Where can one find this tremendous strength? Im just in awe 🥺
She has the biggest heart ever, only maybe matched by her brilliant unstoppable mind and im just so in love with her!!!!!! She’s been through so much and she deserves nothing but the best from now on. I just left the movie theater a full fledged stan even more so than before and I will fight every single one of you for her!
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because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.
you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.
you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.
don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.
if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.
you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:
how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!
aren't you happy yet?
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my shimamatsu artbook came in so i finally got to see the rest of the unreleased teacher set...
scans of gym teacher oso from this set can be found here!
choro's a math teacher, which i feel like is pretty fitting for her. they drew her very cute, peak froggy expression.
ichi's a science teacher, like in teacher matsu merch by movic. he's also setting a bad example for his students by wearing open-toed shoes which is against standard lab safety rules, for shame smh.
jyushi is an art teacher! very cute, he's definitely fitting the bill of the zany art teacher stereotype.
totty's an english teacher. he's really meant it when he said he doesn't want to work bc he's giving us NOTHING in that awakened art. his outfits are very cute, though.
" gee, mj. where's kara? wasn't he the one you were the most curious about? " wELL. i waited to share him last bc...
when i tell you that i opened to this page in art book to find this set, saw kara, and then immediately closed the book...
he's a japanese / literature teacher, which i do think fits. ( still such a missed opportunity to have him as a music teacher... ) * puts my face in my hands * he's such a dork.
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
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Ghost : Ok, why do you baby Gaz so much, you do know he's a grown man, right?
Price : Oh come on, first off I don't baby him, second, jealousy doesn't suit you, third, he's the youngest of us, it's only normal that I watch over him a bit more, he's basically a baby, he just turned 27 last week!
Gaz : Damn, don't remind me, I feel old. But also like, maybe it's because he's the youngest sibling, but I do feel older than Soap most days, to be honest.
Price : Well yeah, you two are very close in age, but Soap's actually gonna turn 29 later this year, right Soap?
Soap :
Price : ... Soap?
Soap : Yep, sorry, yeah, wasn't paying attention, sure, I'm gonna be uh... 28? Wait no, that was last year, 29 right, ahah...
Ghost :
Gaz :
Price :
Soap : *avoids eye contact*
Price : How old are you son?
Soap : 29?
Gaz : Aren't you supposed to be 28...?
Soap : Ahah, yeah, that's what I meant, I'm 28, I'm gonna be 29... right?
Ghost : You're lying aren't you. You look like you're lying. Price, he's lying.
Price : What's your birth year?
Soap :
Price : ....
Soap, visibly counting on his fingers : 1994 !
Ghost, staring at Price with his look(tm) :
Gaz : Wait, you don't know your birth year by heart?
Ghost : No, he just doesn't remember the lie he said.
Soap : Come on, LT, what do you mean, a lie, I'm just your average 29 years old man, born in 1994, what do you want me to say?
Ghost : Johnny, you'd be born in 1993 if you were 29, I mean, if you didn't also lie about your birthday.
Soap :
Price, having had enough of today already : Okay, how old are you really. What's your real birth year.
Soap : ..... 1996 ?
Gaz : I'M NOT THE FUCKING BABY ANYMORE THIS IS THE GREATEST DAY OF MY LIFE !!!
Ghost, concerned : You're 26 ?? But your file said you've been in active duty for 10 years !
Soap : Yep 😁👍
Ghost :
Soap : Funny story, I was actually 15 when i enrolled, cause it was before my birthday, but yeah.
Ghost :
Soap : Don't look at Price like that, he knew all about me ~allegedly~ kidnapping a military officer and still wanted me, he's not gonna push me out because my joints are gonna hurt two years later than he originally thought.
Gaz : Wait, no, back up, you did what to a military officer?
Soap : Oh, I never told you? Yeah, he was really pissing me off, you know how it is-
Price : I'm going back to bed.
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