#and the never ending guilt that tony will never be enough for him because he cant give steve back everything he lost??

[peteypiessuperfamily]

"You were never meant to be alone, Steve."

[fotibrit]

Thank you @charming-mug for this screenshot from the video game "Marvel's Midnight Suns".

I'm losing my mind. This quote, from an official source, has made my week. Because thats exactly it! Thats the point! It's not that Tony looks as Peter and wants to adopt him because hes just so cute or anything. Tony looks at Peter and sees himself!

He sees himself in miniature. He sees a kid with all the potential that Tony wasted, all the potential that Tony mourned throwing away. Tony wants to make sure that Peter gets all the parts of Tony that Tony is proud of, and that Peter avoids the parts that still haunt Tony.

Tony gives Peter tech. He gives him access to the lab, new suits, and academic validation. He tries to make sure that Peter gets the chance to grow up as surrounded by tech as Tony did.

But! Tony is there! He actually helps, he makes sure Peter knows that the tech is a gift, and its there because Tony thinks Peter is worthy of it. And Tony is somewhat strict (ferry scene, yelling in infinity war, ect.) because I'm sure a part of him wishes that Howard had stopped Tony from partying and throwing his life away.

Irondad works so well, in my opinion, because its not that Tony thinks that he would be a good dad and so he finds some kid to take in. Its good because Tony finds a piece of himself in the way Peter behaves, and he starts feeling responsible for it. He is PUSHED into parenthood by his sense of responsibility and guilt over his past.

Tony looks at peter and sees who he could have been. He wants to make sure that Peter ends up better than him. Tony wants to right the wrongs done to him, to make sure Peter doesn’t experience the hurt that followed Tony into adulthood.

(And then Peter lost a mother-figure and a father-figure, and both were killed in a way that Peter doesn’t feel right to blame the murderer for their deaths. And Peter got put into the public eye, every movement criticized. And the Peter was so famous that his "bad publicity" held him back from his dream school.

Tony wanted Peter never to experience the things that hurt Tony. But Toy didn't live long enough to watch as all his efforts were proven to be in vain.

Because history repeats. The son becomes the father. Theres only one way this story ends.)

[you-have-a-metal-arm]

'Til The End of The Line pt. 2

Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k

Warnings: Mentions of hospitals

Summary: You get injured in a mission, and Bucky cannot bear to see you in such state.

Author's Note: Please do not copy or translate my work. English is not my first language, so please understand grammar or spelling mistakes.

Thank you for those who enjoyed the first part, and thank you again for waiting.

Part 2 is now yours.

The world around Bucky seemed to blur as he followed the medical team through the corridor. His heart pounded in his chest, each beat echoing in his ears like a drum. The sight of you lying so still, bloodied and broken, was something he never thought he’d see—not like this, not when he hadn’t even told you how much he loved you that morning.

As Dr. Cho and her team wheeled you into the surgical room, Bucky’s steps faltered. He felt like he was wading through quicksand, every movement heavy and slow. He wanted to be with you, to hold your hand, to tell you that everything would be okay. But he was kept out of the room, forced to watch through the glass as the doors closed behind you.

Tony, standing beside him, placed a firm hand on his shoulder. “She’s strong, Bucky. She’ll pull through.”

But Tony’s words felt hollow to Bucky. He had seen too much death, too much loss. The fear of losing you was like a knife twisting in his gut. He couldn’t lose you—not when you were his reason to keep fighting, his anchor in the storm.

His mind raced back to the last few months—the mornings spent in quiet domesticity, the late-night talks about the future, the way you laughed at his terrible jokes. How could it all be ripped away in a single moment?

Bucky pressed his hand against the glass, his breath fogging up the cold surface. His other hand clenched into a fist, the tension coiled tight in his chest. The image of you, fragile and bleeding, burned into his mind.

Minutes passed, or maybe it was hours—he couldn’t tell. Time had no meaning as he stood there, waiting, praying, hoping for a miracle.

Tony stayed by his side, silent. Steve joined them, his face drawn and pale. The guilt weighed heavily on Steve’s shoulders, and Bucky could see it. But Bucky had no room for blame—only a desperate need for you to come back to him.

Finally, after what felt like an eternity, Dr. Cho emerged from the operating room. Her face was tired, but there was a glimmer of hope in her eyes. “She’s stable, but it was touch and go for a while.”

Bucky’s knees almost buckled with relief, but he held himself upright by sheer will. “Can I see her?”

Dr. Cho nodded. “She’s still unconscious, but you can sit with her. It’s important she has someone she loves nearby when she wakes up.”

Bucky didn’t wait for further permission. He pushed past the others and entered the room where you lay. The sight of you hooked up to monitors, IVs, and machines tore at his heart, but at least you were alive. Your chest rose and fell steadily, and the color was slowly returning to your cheeks.

He pulled up a chair beside your bed, taking your hand in his. The warmth of your skin, even faint, was enough to give him hope. He brushed a stray lock of hair from your forehead, his thumb tracing the lines of your face as if memorizing every detail.

“I’m here, doll,” he whispered, his voice breaking with emotion. “I’m right here. Please, come back to me.”

The room was quiet, save for the beeping of the machines that tracked your vital signs. Bucky stayed by your side, his grip on your hand firm but gentle. He didn’t sleep, didn’t eat—he just watched you, waiting for any sign that you were waking up.

Hours passed, and the rest of the team came and went, offering support, but Bucky barely registered them. His world had narrowed down to just you, lying so still in that hospital bed.

At some point, he must have dozed off because he was startled awake by a faint pressure on his hand. His eyes flew open, and he looked down to see your fingers twitching slightly in his grasp.

“Y/N?” His voice was barely a whisper as he leaned closer, his heart pounding in his chest.

You stirred, your eyelids fluttering weakly. It took you a moment to orient yourself, but when your eyes finally opened, they were full of confusion and pain. “B-Buck?” Your voice was hoarse, barely audible.

“I’m here, doll, I’m right here.” Bucky’s relief was palpable as he squeezed your hand gently, his eyes misting over. “You’re okay. You made it.”

A weak smile tugged at your lips, though the effort seemed to exhaust you. “I… I thought… I wasn’t going to make it.”

“You did, though,” Bucky whispered, his voice thick with emotion. “You’re safe now. We’re together.”

Tears welled up in your eyes as you looked at him, your hand trembling slightly in his grasp. “I… I heard you… on the comms. I was so scared… that I’d never see you again.”

“It’s quite a miracle that she woke up. But we still must keep an eye out for any damage to her brain,” the doctor said.

“I’ll call Dr. Cho for further checkups. My job’s done for now.” The doctor left, and Bucky’s gaze returned to you.

Bucky sat back down beside you, his eyes brimming with unshed tears as he clutched your hand like it was the only thing anchoring him to reality. He couldn't believe you were awake, breathing, speaking to him. The terror of almost losing you hadn’t yet faded from his mind.

You looked at him, your voice barely a whisper but full of the love you had for him. “Hey, I told you I’m not going anywhere, didn’t I?”

Bucky let out a shaky laugh, a mix of relief and disbelief. He leaned forward, pressing his forehead to yours, feeling the warmth of your skin that he thought he’d never feel again. “You scared the hell out of me, doll. I thought—”

His voice cracked, and he couldn’t finish the sentence.

“I know, I know,” you whispered, your free hand weakly brushing the tears from his cheeks. “But I’m here. I’m not going anywhere, Buck.”

He pulled back to look at you, his blue eyes swimming with emotion. “I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he admitted, his voice barely holding together.

“I can’t lose you. I won’t.”

“You won’t,” you reassured him, squeezing his hand with as much strength as you could muster. “We’re going to get through this. Together.”

For a long moment, Bucky just stared at you, memorizing every line of your face as if afraid it might vanish if he looked away. The weight of everything he had almost lost hung heavily in the air between you, but so did the promise of the future you still had together.

“I love you,” he whispered, his voice trembling with the intensity of the words.

“More than anything in this world.”

“I love you too, Buck,” you replied softly, your eyes shining with the same intensity. “And I’m sorry for putting you through this. For making you worry so much.”

“Don’t,” he said, shaking his head. “Don’t apologize. None of this is your fault. You’re the strongest person I know, and you’re going to get better. We’re going to get through this, and then we’ll live that life we talked about.”

A small, hopeful smile tugged at your lips. “Yeah, with the house, the backyard, and maybe… maybe even those babies.”

Bucky’s heart swelled with emotion at the thought. The future seemed so far away, but with you here, with your hand in his, it felt possible again. “Yeah,” he agreed, his voice choked with emotion. “We’ll have that. I promise you, we’ll have that.”

You closed your eyes for a moment, exhaustion weighing heavily on you, but you fought to stay awake, to stay with him. “I’m going to hold you to that, Barnes.”

He chuckled softly, brushing a strand of hair from your face. “You better. I’m not going anywhere either, doll. You’re stuck with me.”

“Good,” you whispered, finally allowing yourself to drift off to sleep, knowing that Bucky would be right there when you woke up again.

As you slept, Bucky stayed by your side, his hand still holding yours tightly. He didn’t move, didn’t even blink, afraid that if he did, this fragile moment of peace would shatter. But as he watched the steady rise and fall of your chest, he let himself believe that everything was going to be okay. That the darkness had passed, and the light of a new day would bring the life you both deserved.

And for the first time in what felt like forever, Bucky allowed himself to hope.

---------------------------------

Tag list @baw1066 @hzdhrtss @mrsnikstan

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Thank you for reading and enjoy your weekend :)

[angelbaby-fics]

Hi!!! Could I please have one where the cg is bucky and they get into a minor car accident because of ice or something. and little!reader is just so shaken up that bucky just has to calm them down.

Thank you!!!!

Icy Road

Word Count: 1k

Warning: A small car accident! Nobody gets hurt but I know it can still be scary 💕

A/N: Thank you for requesting this!! Car accidents are actually one of my biggest fears, and I was actually involved in a little bump a couple weeks ago 😰 everyone was okay & unharmed but I was quite shaken up after the fact & writing this was actually very therapeutic for me 💕

You were full, you were happy, but you were exhausted. Tony’s annual Christmas party was everything he’d promised it would be and more, and you’d been kept up long past your bedtime for the special occasion. Bucky was never one for parties, but your excitement made him a willing participant in the holiday festivities. It only took a batting of your pretty little eyelashes to make him emerge from his designated brooding spot in the corner to color with you, and soon coloring became decorating ornaments, and by the end of the night he was laughing with glitter in his hair. It was the first time since he’d joined the Avengers that he’d ever stayed until the end of a party, and he could get used to it. 

As he drove home through the dark winter night, Bucky couldn’t help but smile at himself. What a perfect night it had been. Your head lolled to the side and rested against your shoulder, and the movement caught Bucky’s eye in the rearview mirror. You were so peaceful in your slumber, the slightest hint of a smile peeking from behind your paci. He couldn’t take his eyes off you, even though he knew he should. Especially on an icy night like this. 

When he finally tore his eyes away from you, the car was drifting to the middle of the road. There were no other cars, not out here, but Bucky still corrected the car a little too hard, a little too quickly. The tires skidded on the slick ice and sent the car into a spin, picking up speed until eventually you landed in a snowbank beside the road. The collision wasn’t enough to put more than a dent in the car, but the sudden shift in motion startled you awake, and your cries began to pierce the silence of the snowy night. 

Bucky’s first and only reaction was to unbuckle his seatbelt and immediately run to join you in the back seat. He slid in beside you and scanned his eyes over your entire body, checking for injuries. 

“Are you okay, baby? Are you hurt?” He panted, afraid to touch you in case you were injured. Once he confirmed you were fine, save for an accelerated heart rate, he unfastened your seatbelt and pulled you into his lap. It broke Bucky’s heart how desperately you clung to him, grasping at his sweater with frantic fingers. He massaged your back in soothing circles, shushing rhythmically and softly in your ear, but to no avail. 

“I’m so sorry baby, I’m so sorry. It’s okay now, I promise.” Bucky chanted to you over and over. “I’m so, so sorry my baby.”

He sat there like that with you for as long as you cried; he would have stayed there until the sun came up if he needed to. Even after you’d stopped crying, he held you there a little longer. He couldn’t bring himself to let go. Even though neither of you were injured and the car was an easy fix, Bucky couldn’t help the guilt gnawing at him. He’d gotten distracted, he’d been reckless, but worst of all, he’d scared you. If he’d been alone in the car he wouldn’t care, but seeing your fear as a result of his thoughtless actions made his heart ache. It made him question if he even deserved to be a caregiver after this. 

“It's okay, daddy.” You said, so softly he almost didn’t hear it. 

“What’s that doll?” Bucky looked down at you. 

“It’s okay,” you lifted your head from his chest and looked up at him, dried tears streaked across your cheeks. “Was an accident, right?”

“It was, but I’m still sorry.” Bucky hugged you tightly to him. The snow had stopped falling by the time he’d pulled over, so there was no risk of being snowed into the spot. Bucky leaned over towards your backpack in the front seat as delicately as he could, not wanting to disturb you as he felt you falling back asleep. The pacifier you’d been using earlier had fallen to the floor of the car, so he found a new one in your backpack and gently maneuvered your head to give it to you. He then found one of your blankies he’d packed and covered you with it. He stayed there with you until he felt your breathing fully steady and slow down. He could tell when you fell asleep, the subtle little things only he could pick up like your muscles relaxing and your eyes flicking behind your eyelids as your dreams began to unfold. Bucky held you a little while longer to make sure your dreams stayed pleasant, hoping the events of the night wouldn’t manifest into a nightmare. Once he was confident you were dreaming of nothing but sugarplums, he kissed your forehead and placed you back into your car seat. 

It took every bone in Bucky’s body not to keep watch on you sleeping in the backseat. You were only a few minutes from home, he knew he could get you home safely. As soon as he pulled the car into the garage and turned it off, he couldn’t get out and to your door quickly enough. He managed to keep you asleep as he lifted you into his arms, carrying you into the house and disabling the alarm system without so much as a stir. 

Bucky decided that after the events of the night, he couldn’t stand to be even a room away from you. Instead of setting you down in your crib as he got himself ready for bed, he placed you right down on his own bed. It was like you could sense the safety of your new setting, you stretched out your limbs before curling up into the comfort of your daddy’s pillows. 

Bucky finally let out the breath he’d been holding since the accident. He was used to being hard on himself, but taking care of you was slowly teaching him grace. The sight of you safely slumbering in his bed despite what you’d been through was proof enough to him that he could change for the better.

[sasheneskywalker]

dc/marvel crossover fic recs

Dark Matter by mysterycyclone The last thing Peter sees is Tony's horrified, heartbroken expression leaning over him. The guilt in his eyes is almost worse than the burning pain that's taking Peter apart piece by piece. The world starts to go dark.

There's a flash of gold and green. For one moment, he finds himself standing amongst the Guardians and others. And then darkness again. It feels like blinking; an extended period of nothingness that ends as abruptly as it begins. One moment there’s nothing, the next there’s light.

“Easy,” a woman says. Her words are gentle, and carry a slight accent that he can’t place. "I'm called Wonder Woman. What's your name?"

Not Rated | Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Peter Parker & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Avengers Team, Clark Kent & Peter Parker, Diana (Wonder Woman) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Bruce Wayne, Dick Grayson & Peter Parker, Gotham City & Peter Parker, Tim Drake & Peter Parker, Batman & Spiderman

Revenge is a Word I Haven't Yet Defined (I’m not sure I’m worthy of such theatrics) by OliOcelot After the Lazarus Pits and a year of training with the League, Talia sends Jason to Gotham for revenge. Except Jason isn’t as deep as she thinks. The thing is, he expected to see Bruce - Batman - and be livid. He let him die, replaced him. He should be mad.

He isn’t.

In the end, it’s hard to think of yourself as being replaced when you died. So yeah, he’s angry, but he’s not angry enough for revenge. Not like Talia wants him to be.

So he focuses on Red Hood and cleaning up Crime Alley, and scraps any ideas of revenge he had left. They’re unnecessary. Counterproductive, in fact, because now that he’s actually seen Bruce, all he really wants is to go home. Maybe have a conversation or two about how bad Bruce and Dick messed up, but at home.

Instead, he gets caught up in world altering magic from some criminal in over his head, and Jason finds himself tumbling through universes into a New York filled with heroes that he’s never even heard of and a lack of Gotham and Metropolis that can only mean one thing. This isn’t the world he knows.

All he wants is to get home, to make amends, to try again. Too bad none of them know he’s gone. Not that anyone would think to look for a dead boy.

T | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Batfamily Members & Jason Todd, Peter Parker & Jason Todd, Ned Leeds & Peter Parker, May Parker (Spider-Man) & Peter Parker, Peter Parker & Tony Stark

To Dig a Grave in Winter by OliOcelot The Winter Soldier isn’t the only Asset that Hydra has. This will be their downfall.

Or, Jason Todd rose from his grave only to be taken by Hydra and turned into a living weapon, known as the Gravewalker. Meeting the Winter Soldier might just make it worth it.

T | Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply | James Bucky Barnes (Marvel) & Jason Todd (DCU), James Bucky Barnes (Marvel)/Jason Todd (DCU)

in labyrinths of reflections by blackkat With the incursions imminent, Khonshu steals his avatar away to another dimension, where there's little risk of the universes colliding.

Marc is unprepared for Gotham, but it's probably safe to say that Gotham is equally unprepared for Marc.

M | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Bruce Wayne/Marc Spector, Marc Spector & Jason Todd, Roy Harper/Jason Todd, Marc Spector & Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne/Steven Grant

no map to my own treasure by blackkat “I think this is yours.”

Bruce doesn’t even have to look up. He already knows precisely what this is about. Containing a sigh, he rubs the bridge of his nose, and says, “If he bit you, I can pay for the emergency room visit—”

“I did not bite him,” Damian says, outraged.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Marc Spector/Bruce Wayne

Knaves All Three by Ginevra_Benci After Ultron, Avengers Tower hosts a good-will gala to fundraise for post-Incident NYC.

Local lawyers Nelson & Murdock, fresh from saving Hell's Kitchen from the ravages of Wilson Fisk, get an invite.

And.

Bruce Wayne’s in town.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Tony Stark & Bruce Wayne, Tony Stark & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Bruce Wayne, Steve Rogers/Bruce Wayne, Matt Murdock & Foggy Nelson

The Spider and the Samovar by Ginevra_Benci There's a new player in Eastern Europe: the Spider has been making a name for himself and has caught the attention of the Outlaws.

Jason Todd makes contact.

Well. He tries to.

G | No Archive Warnings Apply | Roy Harper & Koriand'r & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne, Jason Todd & Natasha Romanoff

Bats Out of Hell by Jedi_Olympian Dick and Tim find themselves in a bit of trouble. Multiversal trouble. Needless to say, their boyfriends are not happy about it, and the universe they find themselves in is unlike any they've found themselves in before.

Or Dick and Tim get thrown into the MCU and meet the Avengers.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Dick Grayson/Jason Todd, Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Jason Todd & Bruce Wayne

If It's A Highway by there_must_be_a_lock Bucky’s been running for a week when the supposedly-untraceable burner phone he stole from a HYDRA warehouse starts ringing. He’s in a gas station bathroom off a remote highway close to the Croatian border, getting ready to bleach his hair; the ringtone bounces shrilly off the bare tiles and makes his jaw clench tight.

[Or: the one where Bucky is hired to train Jason, and he ends up learning a thing or two himself.]

E | No Archive Warnings Apply | James "Bucky" Barnes/Jason Todd

There but for Grace go I by AutumnHobbit Frank Castle comes to Gotham on the trail of some human traffickers who picked the wrong city. Imagine his surprise to find he isn’t the only one out for their blood. When things turn sour he decides to get involved, which leads to a lot of unexpected drama.

And he thought New York’s costumed paraders were bad.

Not Rated | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Bruce Wayne & Jason Todd, Bruce Wayne & Frank Castle, Dick Grayson & Frank Castle, Dick Grayson & Jason Todd, Jason Todd & Frank Castle

The Five Stages of Neighborly Affection by AlannaLioness, phonecallfromgod, youshallnotfinditso Between Matt being back from the dead, Nelson & Murdock 2.0 and a fancy Manhattan apartment from his (former) sharky boss, Foggy feels like he's doing pretty well keeping the vigilante nonsense in his life to a minimum.

Or he was until he moved next door to Tim Drake.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Matt Murdock/Franklin "Foggy" Nelson, Stephanie Brown/Tim Drake (Minor), Bruce Wayne/Clark Kent (Minor), Minor or Background Relationship(s)

running in the shadows by dukeaubergine Jack Drake dies during one of Tony Stark's "taking responsibility" phases. The Bats aren't happy about this.

Tim is pushing to come home, and in the meantime be an NYC vigilante right under Stark's nose, when the Sokovia Accords knock over the whole board.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Batfamily Members & Tim Drake, Avengers Team & Tim Drake, Tim Drake & Tony Stark, Tim Drake & Wanda Maximoff

Shake the Devil Out of Me by thepartyresponsible The first time Jason sees Phil Coulson, he sees him in the soft, flickering light of a warehouse fire. It’s romantic, he thinks, later. Like candlelight.

E | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Phil Coulson/Jason Todd

The Dawn Will Break Before You by thepartyresponsible “Okay, heartbreaker,” he says, “how much to put the tires back on the car?”

Jason rolls his eyes and gestures at him with the lug wrench. “Why don’t I just beat you up and steal your money? Is this the first time you’ve been to a bad part of town? Don’t show me your wallet, asshole. Come on.”

The man heaves a heavy, aggrieved sigh and starts pulling out bills. “Five hundred?” He tries. “Six? We can go to an ATM.”

“You are mugging yourself,” Jason says, oddly impressed. “Holy shit.”

M | No Archive Warnings Apply | Tony Stark/Jason Todd

Give Thanks to Broken Bones by thepartyresponsible The bodyguard is incredibly well-respected in the superhero single parent community. He is also, Tony’s realizing, something of an asshole.

M | Graphic Depictions Of Violence | Tony Stark/Jason Todd

birds fly (why can't I?) by SafelyCapricious The apartment in Gotham that Natasha gets — all cash and no ID required — is a shithole.

But it’s her shithole.

Well, hers and the cockroaches’, she supposes, as she turns on the flickering light in the bathroom and at least a hundred of them scurry out of view.

M | No Archive Warnings Apply | Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Jason Todd, Natasha Romanov (Marvel)/Jason Todd

Five Supersoldiers Walk Into a Bar by bittercape He spots him through the binoculars, far away and disappearing fast. Logan is, more than anything, a hunter. He knows how to watch, and he watches the sniper moving away, after a single well-placed shot. He moves just like Barnes did. Everyone has a particular way of moving, if you know how to watch. And Logan, as mentioned, knows how to watch.

Logan knows it cannot be him, knows he died, falling from a train. No normal human could survive that. And yet …

He drops down from the watchtower. He’ll catch hell for this, sure. But he has to know.

T | No Archive Warnings Apply | Logan (X-men) & James "Bucky" Barnes, Logan (X-Men) & Natasha Romanov, Logan (X-Men) & Slade Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Slade Wilson, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Slade Wilson, James "Bucky" Barnes & Natasha Romanov, Steve Rogers & Slade Wilson

five, six, just for kicks by bittercape “Good evening,” Jason says, because he does have manners when he wants to use them. “Talia al Ghul sent me for training.”

“Right,” the man says. “You’re here for training with Deathstroke.”

“Yeees,” Jason says. This seems more than a little eccentric. “And you are Deathstroke?”

“Yes indeed!” the man says. “It is I, Deathstroke!”

M | No Archive Warnings Apply | DCU (Comics), Red Hood: Lost Days, Deadpool - All Media Types, Deathstroke the Terminator (Comics) | Jason Todd & Wade Wilson, Jason Todd & Slade Wilson, Jason Todd/Slade Wilson

[artiststarme]

Based on this post by @anzelsilver. Thanks for letting me write this prompt and I hope I did it justice!

~*~*~*~

Eddie had no idea what was happening. Don’t get him wrong, the last several months have been great following his horrific encounter with the Upside Down, nearly dying, and then having to clear his name from a series of murders he didn’t commit. But other than his absolute shitshow of a Spring Break, ‘86 truly was his year. He had graduated and become friends with an entire group of outcasts ranging from D&D nerds, a band kid, and a jock. He had never imagined that he would become friends with Steve “the Hair'' Harrington but here he was. But that’s what led to his inordinate confusion. 

Being friends with Steve Harrington was confusing and unlike any other friendship he’d had before. They’d gone from hating each other from afar before their experience with Vecna to hanging out everyday afterwards. Steve would show up to the new Munson trailer with carry-out food from the diner and a blinding smile on his face. At movie nights, Steve would sit closely to Eddie with an arm around his shoulder and would hide his face in his neck at scary parts. He kept suggesting new plans or restaurants to try and would discretely hold Eddie’s hands out of view of everyone else. And when he got particularly excited about something, Steve would even kiss the corner of Eddie’s mouth! 

Now, Eddie had never been friends with a jock before. So he assumes that Steve’s touchiness is due to trauma bonding and jock culture and he doesn’t question it. He continues to hang out with Steve without limitation but all of the touching and everything with a straight guy is confusing for Eddie. Then, a nice guy approaches him at the Hideout after a set and Eddie really has no reason not to agree to go on a date. The fleeting touches from Steve and all around “good guy-ness” has been leaving Eddie feeling unfulfilled and frankly pathetic. He vowed not to crush on another straight guy after what happened last time yet here he was. So, what better way to get over his unrequited crush on Steve than to go out with another guy?

It’s at another Party movie night at Steve’s house that Eddie tells the group. “Look guys, I’m sorry but I’m going to have to postpone Hellfire this week.”

There was a moment of calmness before the kids erupted. 

“Postpone? POSTPONE?!” Mike screams, being the indignant little shit that he is. 

“Eddie, you can’t postpone! You didn’t even postpone for Lucas when he had his basketball game!” Dustin tries, aiming a well-aimed punch at Eddie’s guilt for that particular past decision. Lesson learned, Henderson. 

“Yeah, you said you never postponed! What’s so important that you’re going to postpone the best part of the campaign?” Lucas asked, offended at the mere idea. 

“Well my little sheep, if you must know, I have been courted by a fine bard to be taken on a date. It’s non negotiable, Hellfire will be postponed to next Friday,” Eddie said theatrically. He was laser focused on the reactions of the kids and thus missed the questioning glance Robin threw to a rapidly paling Steve. 

“There’s no way. Steve said he’d sit in on the session on Friday. You’re not going on a date. You almost got us there,” Dustin chuckled. 

“What does that have to do with anything, Henderson? I am going on the date! Tony asked me after my set and I didn’t have any reason to say no! And because you can’t have a campaign without the DM, Hellfire is postponed. End of discussion!”

The room went absolutely silent, enough to hear a pin drop. Eddie didn’t know what he said wrong, everyone here already knew he was gay so they wouldn’t have an issue with that. But as he looked around and saw everyone staring- no glaring, at him, he knew he fucked something up. He whipped around to stare at Steve when he heard him mutter, “oh… fuck, I’m so stupid.”

Eddie’s eyes widened when he saw Steve roughly wipe at his eyes in an attempt to obscure the falling tears. “What the- Stevie?”

Steve just made his way to the back door leading to the patio and muttered, “I hope you have a good date, Eddie.”

Robin shook her head in disbelief. “What the hell, Eddie? I trusted you with him.” 

She looks worriedly in the direction Steve ran but looks back at Eddie with murderous intent in her eyes. She seems torn between wanting to stay and tear Eddie a new one or run after her platonic soulmate. 

“Go Robin, I’ve got this handled,” Nancy says like that’s not the scariest sentence he’s ever heard. She says it in a voice that makes Eddie want to run home and hide under his covers. With one more scathing glare to Eddie in parting, Robin takes off after Steve. 

Eddie was left standing confused in the middle of the Harrington living room, staring at where Steve once stood. The rest of the Party immediately started berating him once the sliding door closed behind Steve and Robin. 

“What are you doing, Eddie?” Lucas, ever the diplomat, asked in bewilderment. 

“You’re a coward, what the fuck is the matter with you?” Max spit at him, her eyes glaring into his very soul. 

“Eddie, you just really hurt Steve. Why would you do that?” Will asked, his eyes open wide in shock. 

“You’re literally the scum of the earth, Eddie. What in the literal hell gives you the right?” Dustin said, really going for his throat. 

“Eddie,” Nancy starts and immediately the rest of the room falls silent. “I cannot believe that you would do something like this. After everything we’ve done for you, everything Steve has done for you, you’re going to mess it all up for what? A date with some stranger? I thought you were better than that but I guess you were right. You really are just a coward that runs away from anything important. I hope you’re happy with yourself, Munson.”

Eddie’s heart dropped at her words. He thought they were all cool with him and Robin being gay but maybe they weren’t. But going after all of his insecurities so viscerally? It made him wonder if they had ever been his friends at all. 

“I thought you guys would be happy for me. I don’t know what I did but I’m really sorry. I didn’t know that you would react like this.” He whispered, his arms coming up to hug himself self-soothingly. 

Whether it was the tears in his eyes or the sincerity of his words, Nancy’s intimidating posture becomes contemplative. Then, realization hits her. “Eddie, you do know that you and Steve are dating… right? And you just stomped all over his feelings in front of all of his friends?”

Eddie feels ice pour through his veins. That would explain the cuddling on the couch during movies, the sleepovers in the same bed, and the chaste kisses on the edge of his lips. Oh fuck. They were dating. And he just fucked it all up by agreeing to go out on a date with another guy… some, some schmuck!

Oh no, Eddie’s eyes widened even further. Steve thinks he just broke up with him and left his own house! Oh no! 

“Jesus H. Christ! Why didn’t anyone fucking tell me that we were dating? You expect me to just know these things? Fuck! I have to go after him, right? Goddamn it, you all fucking suck. No one thought to fucking tell me the cuddling and goddamn kisses were him wooing me? Fucking shit!” Eddie screamed at the group before turning and sprinting after Steve, his apparent boyfriend. What the literal fuck was he supposed to do about that?

He caught up to them quickly, Steve and Robin were sitting on the edge of the pool with their feet in the water. They both turned around at the sound of the sliding door slamming open against the jam. Eddie burst through panting and keeling over. Jesus Christ, he had to cut down on the smoking. Poor Steve had tear tracks running down his cheeks and Robin had a wet stain on the shoulder of her shirt. She glared at him menacingly from her perch. 

“Steve, I’m sorry! I didn’t know we were dating, I’m so sorry.” Eddie pled through his pants.

Steve’s eyebrows crinkled in confusion. “How the hell did you not know we were dating? I literally just took you to Indy on a date last weekend and was holding your hand. We’ve kissed!”

Eddie let out a manic laugh. “I know! I know we’ve kissed and I know it sounds stupid. I thought it was you being really touchy with your friends or like jock behavior or something. Steve, I swear to you, I had no idea that we were dating.”

Robin’s eyes were squinted and she asked incredulously, “how many guys are you kissing that you think kissing people on the lips is ‘jock behavior’? Do you know how stupid that sounds?”

“Yes, I know how stupid that sounds! And guess what, I’m stupid! You think you can be a senior in high school for three fucking years without being stupid?! No! But I swear, I didn’t know.”

Steve shook his head, “no, you’re not stupid. This is my fault. I know you wouldn’t want to date me and I misunderstood-”

“Steve, of course I want to date you! You’re perfect and I love you, why wouldn’t I want to be your boyfriend? I’m just really fucking dumb and didn’t realize. I am so sorry.”

Robin was watching the two of them talk like a tennis match. She had no idea what was happening but holy shit, it felt like she was in a sitcom. Steve stood from his position at the pool and took a step towards Eddie. “You would date me?”

Eddie nodded vigorously, “of fucking course, Steve! The only reason I agreed to go on a date with Tony in the first place is because I wanted to get over you. All of the touching and flirting had me out of my mind because I thought I couldn’t have you, man. I was going crazy.”

Steve moved closer so they were nose to nose and glanced down at his lips. “Don’t call me ‘man’.” 

Eddie licked his lips and watched Steve’s eyes track the movement. “What’re you going to do about it, big boy?”

Steve’s lips surged forward to meet his own, fully this time in a way the chaste kisses in the past hadn’t before. Eddie felt butterflies in his stomach and electricity down to his toes. He was flying on cloud nine and he had never felt such happiness, such contentment and-

“Eh em, excuse me. Hey, be respectful of the lesbian eyes over here! I don’t need to see any of this. Eddie, stop with the tongue!” Robin shrieked, breaking his haze of Steve Harrington-induced bliss. 

Steve pulled back enough to murmur against his lips, “Eddie, would you go on a date with me?”

Eddie smirked and with his eyes still closed, he whispered, “I thought you’d never ask, Stevie.”

[hollandsfavbabe]

Where Do We Go Now

pairing: peter parker x stark!reader

synopsis: in which the death of y/n's father leaves her determined to bring him back and her boyfriend peter determined to save her

warnings: endgame aftermath, death, parental loss, isolation, suicide attempt (but magical?), it gets better - I promise

word count: 7.1k

masterlist

a/n: Hey guys. This is going to be a bit longer than my usual notes, but I feel like I should explain why I've been gone for so long and why this story is a lot sadder than my usual ones. My community has been riddled with tragedy recently as we've lost a lot of people to suicide this past year, some of which have been as young as middle school age. One of my friends died by suicide a couple months ago. I can't express to you guys how hard it's been trying to deal with the pain and the guilt his death has caused me and my loved ones. So many days have passed where I wish I could've been a better friend for him while he was here. It hurts more knowing that other people are hurting too. Writing this was the best way for me to cope for many reasons. I wanted to write about how I'm feeling and honor my friend in some way even if it's through a silly little fanfiction. I know I'm late, but I also wanted to honor one of my favorite characters, Tony Stark as he canonically died this past October. That being said, if you are struggling please, I implore you, talk to someone. There are so many people on this planet who would be so torn without you. My dms are always a safe space if you need anything at all <3

Also I'd like to thank Gracie Abrams for her music that I had on repeat the entire time I was writing this. I hope you like it!

“I am Iron Man.”

The words replayed in your head, over and over like a broken record with no one to turn it to a new tune. That’s exactly how you felt. So alone in your grief that even if miraculously every wish you'd ever made in the whole of your existence had been granted, it still wouldn’t be enough to make you happy again. To make you feel anything besides the constant regret and incessant grief that anchored you down as you wasted away in your bed.

It had been exactly a week since the passing of the great Tony Stark. Everyone else in the compound had mourned their coworker, riddled by a somewhat lesser version of your sadness for only a few days after his death. It’s not as if their grief had been washed away as if it never stained their cheeks with tears or weighed down their hearts with sorrow, but it eased much quicker than yours and before long they could continue their duties. Everything was so much harder for you because Tony hadn’t just been a coworker. He was your father.

You relieved every memory you had of him like bittersweet torture. You remembered when he held you as a little girl, wiping up a bloodied knee. When he discovered you had powers and helped you control them. Later on when he banned you from joining in on the Avenger’s Civil War and afterwards when he thanked you for sneaking in to help anyway. You could almost feel his comforting embrace as if it was only yesterday that he was assuring you before a failed battle against the mad Titan Thanos, the same one that left you dusted and missing your father’s last five years on Earth. And finally, of course, you remember his last moments all too well. It played out before you like the tragic ending of a stage play. 

“Let me do it,” you shouted over the sound of war cries and carnage that surrounded you on the packed battlefield. “I can take it!”

You were almost certain that your power, your immeasurable magic, could handle the debilitating strength of the Infinity Stones making you the most reasonable choice for snapping Thanos and his army out of existence, but your father refused to risk losing his eldest.

“No,” he breathed, the metal plate shielding his chest rising and falling from the heat of the action. There was only one way to succeed, only one way to put a stop to the destruction of the universe. It had to be him. “I won’t risk losing you, not while you’re still so young. You have so much life ahead of you.”

“Not without you!” you cried, a tear streaming from your eye.

There wasn’t much time for your conversation as the world was moments away from being wiped of its human history, but despite the odds your father pulled you into a tight hug, as if he knew it would be the last. You both did.

“You are the strongest person I’ve ever known and I’m so proud of what you’ve become already.” he smiled when you finally pulled apart.

“I need you dad,” you sobbed, still reluctant to let him leave you. With the threat of his death, suddenly Thanos’ defeat didn’t matter anymore. Not nearly as much as having your father by your side. “I’m not ready.”

Your dad looked down on you with the saddest of smiles, but if any part of him was upset about his decision, he made no other hint toward it. He just held you close for as long as possible and comforted you in the way that you could always count on him for. In the way, it hit you, that you could never count on him for again. But yet, in the face of death, he cradled you close and spoke in his signature fatherly tone: assertive yet on the edge of softness.

“No one’s ever ready -,” he answered truthfully. “- but I know you can handle it. You always do.”

You looked up at him as he finally pulled away and headed towards the purple giant, but not before turning to you for one final declaration.

“I love you, junior, to the edge and back again.”

And then he was gone. You never got the chance to say it back.

Yours was the last name he uttered before his heart stopped beating and the light on his suit went out. By then Pepper had already said her goodbyes and you both were huddled close to his body, weeping as the other Avengers knelt around you in honor of your father. Peter was hunched behind you, one hand on your shoulder while the other worked to wipe away his own tears. Oh Peter, you had your father to thank for him.

It was Tony who was credited with setting you up with your long term boyfriend, Peter Parker, even if it was a complete accident. You two had gotten acquainted on a fateful plane ride to Germany and eventually ended up together after many failed attempts at confessing your feelings. There was something about him that had you smitten with him from your first encounter, your liking only strengthened when you learned that your father approved. He’d been with you through thick and thin and even now, Peter was the only person who could even remotely share your pain besides Pepper. Tony was like his father too.

He’d taken care of you ever since the incident. Brought you food and water, helped you dress in your black attire for the funeral, laid with you in your bed each night to calm you whenever you awoke in a nightmarish terror. He showed his love for you prevailing over his grief in the most selfless of ways and yet all you had managed to do since you father’s funeral was stand to use the restroom every once in a while. It piled on more weight that your poor soul could already take. You were nothing, but a miserable burden now.

The door to your room opened with squealing hinges as Peter stepped in, returning from school where he had spent the morning reuniting with your shared friends and finding out when the official return date was. You were supposed to join him, but instead you hadn’t moved an inch since he left. It wasn’t as if you wanted to waste the entire day in your lonely sheets again. You yearned for everything to go back to how it was; when Peter was happy and you could share it with him. When your father used to smile upon the two teens he didn’t mean to bring together. When your father was alive.

“Hey,” he said, softly as if not to startle you from your endless torturous pondering. He set something down on your dresser, a small stack of papers he must have gathered from the school, and removed his fall coat before sauntering over to you. The bed creaked and shifted under his weight as he took a seat next to you. “Good news, we don’t have to go back until the next semester so we get a break until January. Ned was asking about you. He wants to know how you’re doing.”

You turned your head to look at him, your eyes red-rimmed from all of your crying and your lips cracked and dry.

“What did you tell him?” you croaked, your voice hoarse from under use. There was little to talk about and no one else to talk to whenever Peter wasn’t around. Pepper had visited you once, but with Morgan to look after, she couldn’t spare much time for her late husband’s grieving daughter. You’d seen Happy a couple times as well, but he needed his own time to recover and reflect on his past time with his best friend.

Peter was gentle as he tucked some of the hair strands snot cemented to your jaw behind your ear and cupped your cheek in his palm. He was cold from the autumn chill outside, but his hand ignited the same soothing heat that his touch always brought forth.

“I said you were recovering,” he answered truthfully. “And that it’s different for everyone. And no matter how long it takes, I’m here for you every step of the way.”

The ghost of a smile graced your lips and had it not felt like it stopped beating after losing your father, your heart may have fluttered in its cavity in your chest.

“Thanks Peter,” you curled closer to him in the most sincere of ways. “But I’m afraid it’s going to be a while before I can get up to see Ned again. Give him my best.”

“Take your time. I’m sure he understands.” Peter assured before pulling off his flannel and laying down beside you to wrap you in his arms, allowing you to tuck your face in his chest. As unhappy as you were, all the swirling emotions of suffering were always suppressed by the sound of Peter’s heart and the feel of his body around yours. You stayed like that for a while, holding each other before Peter broke the silence as it neared time for your midday meal.

“I think you should come with me today,” Peter suggested, rising to run his daily lunch retrieval before running a loving hand through your hair. You couldn’t understand how he hadn’t gotten sick of you yet. You hadn’t been able to wash in over a week. “It’s not good for you to stay here all day long. You need to start moving.”

His voice was full of worry, though he wasn’t overbearing. He wanted the best for you, it’s all he ever wanted really.

“I don’t know Peter, I don’t think I can.” you sighed as tears started to fill your eyes again. How could anyone stand to be around you when you were being so pathetic. You wished there was a way to erase your pain, anything to bring you to your normal self again.

“It's okay baby,” Peter hugged you into a tight embrace, kissing your tears as they fell in slow salty streams. “I know it hurts, I feel it too. But I read somewhere that the best thing to do is keep a consistent routine. Maybe you should start today. Come get lunch with me.”

You wanted to agree, but there was no part of you that could move from the weight of your grief. It pressed you down, gravity multiplied by the mass of your sadness as it consumed you. It felt as if only a miracle could save you now.

“I’m so sorry.” you stated with remorse, but Peter made no move to share his disappointment if he had any at all. Instead he leaned down from his seated position and placed his lips on your forehead, a gesture as if to say that all was alright.

“Please don’t cry, y/n. It’s okay.” he assured you before standing to leave and get you something that you figured you probably wouldn’t even eat very much of.

“I’ll be right back,” he promised, turning the handle of your door to leave before looking back at you sprawled on your bed. Suddenly, as if he had recalled the cure to the rainiest of days, he expression shifted to one of great excitement as he stopped back into your room.

“I almost forgot,” he began. “Doctor Strange was here earlier. He wanted me to tell you he’s offering some meditation sessions for you if you’re interested. He said they’d be good for your powers and that they might help you feel better if you want to think about it. He’s free at 8 tomorrow.”

You nearly perked up at the sound of the man’s name, picking up your head to cast a last longing glance at Peter as he waited for a parting word.

“Thanks,” you managed. “I’ll let you know.”

And off Peter went to get you both something to eat.

You weren’t sure if he knew how dangerous it was for you to be left with your thoughts, how the mention of the magic doctor sprouted a myriad of mystical ideas all aimed at the same goal that would erase your eternal lonesome aching. How to bring your father back. By the time Peter returned with his hands full of two homemade sandwiches and more sweets than the two of you could ever finish in one sitting, your mind had been made up and you were ready to set the plan in motion.

The following evening was your first time out of the confines of your rooms for days. Peter had helped you greatly with all the tasks you did not have the mental power to do all on your own. He had brushed your hair and made your bed and before you left in one of the less expensive cars held on Avenger’s campus, he sent you off adorned with one of his favorite sweatshirts, a peck on the forehead and enough I love you’s to last more than a lifetime.

You pulled the sleeve of Peter’s sweatshirt over your palm as you drove off, using the cloth to wipe away fresh tears that had fallen after you left your boyfriend’s loving gaze. You’d always been an overthinker, but your bad habits crept up on you worse in your unbreakable stage of sadness. Especially in your father’s favorite car.

You didn’t understand why he hadn’t left you already. Maybe he would. Peter had offered to join you at Strange’s, but after you insisted you had to go alone, he made plans to go help his Aunt May figure out their apartment situation as the pair had been inadvertently kicked out after being gone for so many years. You’d almost forgotten he used to split his nights between the compound and his own bedroom. Recently he’d only stay with you.

He promised to be back before dinner so that the two of you could keep up your progress, but an unsolicited voice within you convinced you that he wouldn’t want to return. You weren’t good enough for him anymore, not like you used to be. Your plan was better for the both of you and as you pulled up to the familiar building on Bleecker Street, all the pieces started to fall into place.

You stepped up to the door, raising your fist to knock only for the door to crack open by itself as if to invite you in. You waited for the familiar sternness of Doctor Strange’s voice to greet you once you were past the stone floored foyer, but only wisps of the autumn breeze caught your ear. 

“Strange?” you called, your voice still not stable enough to be louder than a whispery dialogue. You were met with no response. It was just like you had planned. The wizard wasn’t home.

You felt a strong tug towards the room of your desires, the forbidden library. It was as if fate was leading you or some other force from above, another sign that you were meant to do it.

Your steps were more sure than they had been in days as you made your way to the self, passing any magical fire walls with the sheer unfiltered strength of your powers. Strange once told you that they were guided by your emotion, the quintessential essence of every magic holder even to people like you and Wanda Maximoff who were outside of his world protecting wizard cult. It was easier than it should have been, like slicing paper with a katana, you broke each enchantment until all that was left was the cool leather cover of the book you were looking for. The book with every answer you needed inside its ancient yellowing pages, but you only needed the spell that would revive your father. Locating it near the middle of the book, your tore out the page and turned back to your car, leaving the Sanctum with the same unhurried pace you had entered it with. There was no stopping you now.

Peter was only an half an hour late for your agreed meet up time when he arrived at the campus. He expected you’d be in your room as per usual and as he made his way to your door, the excitement of getting to hold you and talk about your first day out of the campus since the funeral built up in his chest. He wasn’t sure if any accomplishment in the world could make him as proud as he was of you. With two brown paper bags of groceries in his hand, he couldn’t wait to shower you in the affection that you deserved with all of your favorite snacks, enough to share of course.

“Y/n,” he smiled, using his webbing to open your door handle only to find, much to his disappointment, that you were nowhere to be found.

He checked all over campus, leaving the bags by your bed. No one had seen you since you’d left and the spot where the car you’d taken was still empty, the normally pristine concrete covered in fallen crisp maroon leaves. It didn’t make any sense. Where could you possibly have gone?

“Y/n!” he called, circling the perimeter of the campus looking for you. There was still no sign of your reappearance. “Y/n- oh. Hi Ms. Maximoff.” Peter forced a strained smile as he nearly bumped into the woman.

“Peter, we’ve been over this,” Wanda answered, her voice calm. “You can call me Wanda.”

Like you, the witch hadn’t been doing the best in recent days as she had lost something just as valuable as a father: her partner. While she occasionally had days where the ground would’ve been lucky to feel the grace of her step, her superhero duties had kept her from spending each day hidden from society. She had a different way of coping, but like others, she seemed to start getting back into routine again.

“Right, sorry Wanda.” Peter apologized.

“What are you doing out here?” inquired the witch in her native Sokovian accent, always intuitive. “Is something wrong?”

“It’s y/n. I can’t find her anywhere and we agreed to meet back here nearly - an hour ago!” Peter pulled up his coat sleeve to check the time on his watch, the face of which bore a picture of him and your father from only a few months before the snap. It had been a birthday gift, one of his favorites in fact, though it couldn't top what you had given him the same year: a lego set and your first kiss.

“I didn’t know that she got out of bed. That’s a big step!” 

“Yes it is and we were going to celebrate tonight, but she hasn’t come back yet which is really not like her.” worried Peter.

“Where did she go?”

“Strange’s. He was going to give her a meditation lesson for her powers.”

Confused, Wanda's eyebrow furrowed and she crossed her arms over her chest. “Doesn’t she know how to use them already?”

“Yes, but he thought it would help her manage her grief. Working out is a pretty common method, but she hates going to the gym so he figured some meditation would be better for her and -“

“Wait, hold on. Did she go to him this morning?”

“Yes and she was supposed to be back around noon, but it’s nearly six and she’s still gone.” Peter explained.

“Peter!” Wanda chided. She couldn't believe he could make such a grave mistake.

“What?”

“Strange hasn’t been at the Sanctum all day!”

“What?! Where is he?”

“Do I look like a wizard to you?" the witch gestured to her casual leggings and cardigan pairing that drastically differed from Strange's usual eccentric costumes. "How should I know?”

As if summoned by the topic of conversation, a figure appeared in the distant grass, hovering over the blades until he was close enough to be able to walk. His cape that flowed in the breeze like a blood red stream with a mind of its own was a dead give away. Doctor Strange had indeed arrived in the flesh.

“Parker,” he greeted, though he did not smile. “Is Ms. Stark ready for our lesson?”

Peter’s eyes went wide as he realized his mistake.

“Oh no.” he muttered, shaking his head in defeat. He was met with confusion from the wizard.

“No?” Strange repeated. “We agreed upon 8 didn't we? I know I'm a little early, but I assumed she wouldn't be busy. Didn’t you let her know I was coming?”

“Yes,” Peter confirmed. “I told her to be ready and then I sent her off to your place at 8… am.”

“What?!” Strange exclaimed as he summoned a portal to appear leading directly to his found home on Bleecker Street. He stepped through the fiery ring, a silent invitation for the others to follow as he hurried passed your car, up the steps, and into the door which did not part of him the same way it had earlier. Inside he was met with the most frightful of discovers accompanied by the looming feeling of doom as the situation became clear.

The Sanctum, unguarded with his absence, lay littered with books that had fallen from their homes on his shelf’s yet one stood out from all the others. It laid on the floor open with its pages to the ground while every other book was shut. Levitating it with the simple flick of his wrist, a horrifying sight awaited Strange as he turned it over. One of the pages in the sacred book was missing.

“Do you know how serious this is?!” Strange exclaimed and although Peter at first took it as a barbed criticism aimed directly at him, he was able to distinguish Strange’s tone from when he was reprimanding. This was a separate kind of worry, the sort of tone that he had used heavily on the fated spaceship you three had been stuck in until you landed on Titan, Thanos’ home world, nearly five years ago. Treachery was afoot and if your powers were involved, the whole fabric of your current reality could change.

“Which one did she take?” Wanda pointed to the book, clearly noticing the giant tear in its center.

Strange’s voice answered, heavy with concern. “The revival spell.”

“You don’t think she knows, do you? She can’t possibly know how to conjure it.” asked Wanda, the same concern for their future written all over her face.

“That’s exactly what I think.” Strange confirmed.

“What?” Peter asked. “What are you guys talking about?”

“There are many types of magic, Parker, and the Sanctum, the building where you sent your girlfriend, is full of all of them, good and bad alike. Every spell comes with a price, the bigger the spell, the bigger the price and the spell she took comes with one of the biggest prices there is to pay.”

“Think about it, Peter,” Wanda paled. “What does y/n want most in the world right now?”

It hit Peter harder than fresh fallen hail. You were going to try to bring your father back.

“We have to find her. Now.”

Strange tried to use his sling ring to appear wherever you were, but in your grief, the extent of your powers had grown massively. Intentionally or not, you managed to prevent even the most powerful of wizards from using his Sling Ring to access your location.

“She's blocked me out.” Strange frowned. “We’re going to have to track her on foot.”

“She can’t be far,” Peter agreed. “She always takes the shortest path whenever she wants something.” It was one of the many things he loved about you: your ability to turn any taxing task into something much simpler. You were one of the cleverest people he knew. He just hoped it didn’t work in your favor this time.

It was Wanda who had the idea of tracking your magic. She led them to the nearest withering woodland area, where trees with bare branches and dying leaves sprawled endlessly. It was the perfect place to perform dark magic, away from the unyielding eyes of society. The trio didn’t hesitate to run in.

The further they got, the closer you felt especially to Peter despite the fact that he was the only one without his own source of magic. If he lost you tonight, he feared he’d never feel any sort of magic ever again.

They were only half an acre in when Wanda and Strange called out in anguish, the witch falling to her knees while Strange stayed standing, pounding the air with his fist as his trying to break through an invisible barrier though it was to no avail. Whatever was holding him back, it wasn’t fading anytime soon.

“Keep going, Parker!” he shouted, urging Peter forward. “You’re the only one who can stop her. The spell will only allow that which she loves.”

“How do I do it?” Peter shouted. “How do I stop the spell?”

“The page,” Wanda replied, quicker than Strange could as his reply was easy for her to access. “You have to tear it apart.”

Without wasting a second more, Peter sprung back towards where he could feel you, running without fatigue as his superhuman endurance supplied him with plenty of energy.

It was only a minute later that he caught his first sign of you. There was a break in the tree line out of which a bright amber glow poured like an incandescent warning. It was a dramatic contrast from the normal comforting emerald greens of your magic, but it was you nonetheless and Peter didn’t stop until he was so close he had to shade his eyes from the light.

If it weren’t for the dark nature of what you were doing, Peter would’ve considered it one of the most beautiful events he’d ever seen take place. He wasn’t sure if the circle of trees that surrounded you had been a natural formation or one you made for the sake of the spell, but he was sure the way they seemed to bend to your will, despite the hard wood of their birch trunks, had to be because of your power. In the center of it all was you and the page you had stolen atop a pile of purple and golden leaves. You stood before it, eyes closed as you whispered some sort of incantation. Your powers spread above you in orange flickering flames as you outstretched your arms and summoned what looked like the beginnings of a portal, though it was hard to peer through like a bride covered in a veil of night black.

Peter shouted your name, screaming for you to stop, but you didn’t so much as flinch as the portal grew. You couldn’t hear him over the force of your will. He could start to feel what Wanda and Strange were trapped behind. There was some sort of invisible wall that threatened to push him back from you, but he couldn’t be defeated. He had to stop you. Step by step, he got closer and closer to you, watching in horror as your body was lifted from the ground and floated in midair. A new energy started weeping through the fabric that covered your chest, soft and white like a sheer glittering fabric. It drifted towards the portal and as Peter neared you he could make out the outline of a face forming from it in the black center of it. It started to take shape, growing a neck and a body and becoming more concrete than a fragmented part of your energy. He became more unmistakable as the color grew back into his face. Tony Stark, in the flesh. Peter hurried towards the page.

You opened your eyes to gaze into the face of your father, tears flowing down your face partially from the exhaustion of bringing him back and from being able to see him again.

You tried to say something, tell him how much you had missed him, but you were left rendered without a voice. Your words came out as mouthed nonsense, though it seemed he had regained his voice.

“Y/n,” he uttered, though it seemed more like a warning than a greeting after being torn from you for so long.

You mouthed something you knew he’d understand. I love you too, dad.

Some other force called your name, but you ignored it. You couldn’t focus on anything else, but the father you had lost regaining life right in front of you. With every part that he gained, you felt a part of your fade. It wasn’t painful, more numbing than anything like the final dose to end all your sadness. You couldn’t help but relish in it. You were bringing back one of the greatest men to ever live.

You were so distracted, you missed the web that landed on the page below you and pulled it away.

“Y/n,” your dad said again, nearly having enough of one of his legs to step out of the portal when suddenly, the inky blackness swallowed him whole again and dissolved in the forest light, taking back the only thing you ever wanted.

“NO!” you cried as your voice returned to you and you fell back down to the dry grass and dead leaves, crumpled on the forest floor as all of the magic you had summoned faded away save for the glittering cloud that returned to your chest with such force it made you cough. You had failed.

“Y/n!” someone called and you shuddered away from their hand on your shoulder as loud sobs erupted from you. 

“Leave me!” you begged. “Just leave!” Peter refused to leave your side, tossing behind him the page he had shredded into tiny scraps of paper as he knelt beside you, careful not to touch you again. “Why did you have to do that? Why did you take him from me?”

“You were going to die! I couldn’t let you di-“

“I WANTED TO DIE!”

Peter froze as you whimpered, the truth spreading above the both of you in the cold air like storm clouds as you cried to him.

“I want him back. Everyone wants him back. No one cares about his depressed daughter and I don’t want to hurt anymore, Peter.” you paused to take a deep breath. “It- it hurts so much.” you could barely get the words out as you were choked by your sobs. “It hurts knowing I could’ve saved him. It hurts knowing it should’ve been me that snapped those stupid stones. And I don’t want to live with that anymore. I had to try to bring him back for the world. It needs him more than it needs me.”

You brought a hand to your face, wiping away some of your tears, though it was no use as more came pouring out.

“I need you.” uttered Peter, looking into your glossy eyes. The sight of your tears and the echo of your screams couldn’t deter him from you. You can’t be repelled from the ones that you love.

“But you miss him, don’t you,” you argued as hot tears coated your face. “You want him back too.”

Peter nodded in agreement.

“I think about him everyday. Our moments together. Like this one time he saved me from drowning in a lake. Or-“ Peter grinned. “- remember when he caught us making out that one time before we told him we were together. He was so mad.” Peter smiled to himself, looking fondly on the memory until he began again.

“I miss him so much and it makes me so sad that I'll never see him again. But I wouldn’t trade you for him. I wouldn't trade you for anyone. You’re worth more to me than anyone else in the universe.”

Your sobs slowed yet the tears did not cease as they still cascaded down your face.

“It hurts me so much.” you restated.

Peter opened his arms. “May I?” he asked. You nodded and before you knew it, you were engulfed by a warmth unlike any other as Peter hugged you tight enough to make sure you wouldn’t try to leave him again.

“I know you do,” he related. "And I wish I could take it away. I wish I could just bag all your pain and throw it all away. But it doesn't work like that. It's going to hurt. It's going to be painful, so much so that you won't move from bed for days and days. You haven't." 

"But I feel like everyone else has already moved on. Why can't I?" you shivered.

"No one else was as close to him as you. Everyone else lost a friend. You lost a father. There's a big difference. You can't expect yourself to move on from it. That's not healthy. It's just like I said, I'm here for you no matter how long it takes. You have to take your time with it, don’t rush the process." Peter pressed the lightest of kisses to one of your dampened cheeks.

"I just don't know what to do."

"Breathe."

As silly as it sounded in its simplicity you did as he instructed and inhaled deeply, allowing the air to coat your lungs that hadn’t been exposed to so much fresh air in a week. As you exhaled, you let out another sob in his arms, but somehow it felt better than all the others. You were not rid of your pain by any means and sadness still corroded your core, but for the first time in so long, you didn’t feel so hopeless. Peter placed another gentle kiss on your cheek, encouraging you as you took several more slow breaths and quiet cries until you found the strength to speak again.

“Was it like this for you when your parents died?” you wondered aloud as you pulled away from Peter to look into his chocolate brown eyes that you almost forgot you loved so much, yet not so far that he couldn't keep his arms around your frame that was still bearing his sweatshirt. You hadn’t spoken much about them before and while you weren’t sure where the question had arisen from, it felt like the right thing to ask.

“I was so young when they passed, sometimes I feel like they were never mine to begin with,” he admitted. “I took a couple days off school when it happened, but I don’t remember crying all that much. It’s tragic and sometimes it makes me sad that they’re gone, but I’m glad that it does. It’s a reminder that they were there for me in the first place, that I knew them enough to miss them. The grief is proof that I loved them while they were here.”

You were both silent for a moment as you thought about his words in relation to your situation. All your pain was put into perspective. Everything you had been through since he died, all the days you wasted away in bed, it was all the proof that you had loved him so much when he was alive and that you were still carrying the love you had left for him. You missed your father so much you were willing to die to get him back and for a moment, you almost did.

You parted from Peter’s arms to stand though you still grasped onto his hands as you weren’t strong enough to be upright on your own. You closed your eyes again and listened to the sound of the forest, the swaying of the leaves that still clung to their branches, the faint twittering of birds, and the calm of the sky that was oddly cloudless for autumn. The sound of your name falling from your father’s reformed lips was still faint in the air and for a moment you felt as though you were with him again.

You remembered when he taught you how to ride a bike one evening when you were only four. You remembered the day he pulled you from public school and started teaching you at home. You remembered the look of shock on his face when you showed him your powers for the first time and even more, you remember his pride when you completed your first mission with the Avengers (that he'd approved ahead of time to avoid any more Germany -like surprises). He wasn’t there, but at the same time he was everywhere. And you missed him, but at the same time the absence he left in your life felt less empty.

The tears came out in slow smooth streams, flowing down in slow trickles as you finally sat back down. You didn’t say anything and neither did Peter, but you knew he could feel what you felt. He could feel your father too and minutes slipped by as you sat and cried together.

There was a sudden rustling in the distance and soon enough, Doctor Strange and Wanda had arrived at the scene, no longer held back by invisible barriers. They rushed to you bringing flooding guilt through your system as you began to apologize.

“I’m sorry,” you cried. “I’m so sorry.”

Strange opened his mouth to speak, but he had nothing to say. You could tell by his expression that he was disappointed, but there was more to it. He had empathy.

It was Wanda that leaned down to place a friendly hand on your shoulder.

“Let’s get you home.”

The months following were some of the hardest of your life. Every battle you faced was uphill, but you no longer felt like you were fighting alone. You started going out again, first to visit Pepper and your half sister Morgan who lived in their cabin home. Peter joined you of course, but he played with Morgan for the most part while you and Pepper talked. You cried with her, but you laughed a lot too. She shared with you so many of her own memories, times when your father didn't know what to get you for your birthday, when he had managed to mess up cooking dinner in the strangest of ways, and when he’d accidentally burned your favorite stuffed animal in the drying machine all of which Pepper had to remedy. Though she hadn’t raised you, she was the mother you never had and through her stories you learned that your father had been just as good raising Morgan with her as he had been with you.

You hung out with Ned and MJ again shortly after that. While Peter had suggested a brief check-in at a cafe so you could go home quickly to rest, you surprised him with a much more time consuming idea: laser tag. The four of you had the best time targeting each other, you winning more rounds than any of the others. You ended the day with smoothies, talking as you drank and making plans for the next time you would all see each other. MJ made you promise you would text her if you ever needed anything and Ned gave you a whole plate of his Lola’s ensaymadas, your favorite dish of hers.

Finally, though he was locked up in his house and avoiding humanity, you visited Happy. Peter offered to join you like all the other times, but you assured him it would be best if he stayed home, promising you would return later. Happy was in a similar state of dismay to you when you saw him and while he was able to care for himself and continue with his personal routine, you could tell he was hurting.

You didn't say much when you first entered his apartment, but there was comfort within the silence. You sat with him on his sofa and watched whatever mind numbing program he had turned on to distract his thoughts until you had both worked up an appetite for lunch. It was there, in the middle of a random Burger King in Queens over a plate of cheeseburgers that you both broke down. You told him what you had nearly done, trusting him with the sensitive information as he was almost a second father to you. You took your time telling him the story of how you had nearly died to bring back your father.

Happy cried as you did and when you were finished, he told you how much you meant to him. He traded your story for one from your father after he returned from Afghanistan where he had famously been kidnapped.

"You could tell he was shaken," Happy began. "He told me he wasn't scared to die, but he was scared of losing time with you and leaving you alone. Pepper and I had been so busy trying to get him back, he was worried you had been neglected while he was gone. But when he came home and he saw your room clean, your toys put away, and a fridge full of leftovers from meals you prepared yourself, he was so proud. You inspired him to turn his life around. It was after that he told me that he knew you'd be okay if he was taken from us one day."

You both cried after that.

Long after you had finished your food, Happy drove you to the Parker's new apartment with the promise that he would be okay too, eventually. He also admitted that he was starting to develop quite the liking for your faithful boyfriend after hearing all that he had done for you, though he’d skin you alive if you ever told Peter.

It was that night in Peter's new bedroom that you knew you’d be okay. It still hurt to think of your father and you knew you’d never entirely recover and that the pain would never fully leave you, but there was a certain comfort in it now. You knew Peter felt it too as he snuggled half asleep into your side, his arm slung around your body in a protective manner, but also to keep from falling of the twin bed you shared as he let you sleep on the side with the wall. There were still days when you didn’t want to leave your bed, but there were also days when you felt more elated than ever. You could feel your father in those moments the most, like the shine of his smile took form in the light from the sun. You couldn’t see him nor could you speak with him, but you knew he wasn’t really gone. It was love that kept him around. And it was the love you carried for him that would suspend you for lifetimes, through light and dark until the end of time.

“I hope this grief stays with me because its all the unexpressed love” - Andrew Garfield 💙

[ohanny]

more of anny's pit babe season 2 plans that'll never come true

so before i go full delulu let's set up a basic premise of belief i have for season 2:

tony is dead-dead. we will see him but only in flashbacks or as a hallucination because lord knows he has fucked with our boys enough to do some ptsd ghost fuckery.

way is fake dead. he has the perfect power to make it believable and come on, what's one more fake death in this show? like he totally thought he would die but when he didn't, he was disappointed and thought a clean break would still be better for everyone and then, with nothing to lose, started a bit of a rampage but more on that later.

anyway. this would mean the second season needs a villain and while way will definitely be in that mix… we still need actual evil. now, if i was in charge, i would pick the prosecutor. even better if the prosecutor was a woman. because someone had to be in charge of handling the mess of tony’s deeds and the prison trio and oooh, a state prosecutor would be so tasty, because hear me out:

tony had his greedy, criminal fingers everywhere. he had to. he bribed and he did business - both regular crime and selling kids crime - with all kinds of people, including high up government officials. see our boy way would go on a shadowy mission to destroy and expose tony’s network, using his powers left and right to make people admit to their part in the atrocities. this would quickly become a huge problem to all those politicians, law enforcers and justice department members who were very happy to just sweep the entire mess under the carpet.

which is why the prosecutor, a bit corrupt herself, would use her power to get kenta, winner and dean out of prison on the condition they would hunt down way. they worked with him, right? considered him family? they know how he operates and not only are they expendable, but they're very willing to do her bidding for the price of freedom and clean records. (having their prosecutor show up in the prison yard would also explain those looks dundunduu.)

and this is where it would get spicy.

pete would have also been suspicious of way’s death from the start and after certain people connected to tony start ruining their own lives seemingly out of nowhere, he becomes convinced way is out there and starts looking.

the prosecutor tells the trio this is all about locating way and then the police would handle the rest but it becomes obvious - at least to kenta - not all of them got the same memo.

pete and the prosecutor having a tense, overly polite meeting where a handshake immediately sets pete on edge. he seeks out kenta afterwards, only to find out he doesn't need to convince his brother of anything because kenta looks at pete and says “she's plans to have winner kill way before he can talk.”

the prosecutor absolutely playing into babe’s trauma, creating a rift between some of the x-hunter members. imagine her holding his hands and looking him in the eye while softly confessing she believes way is doing all of this for babe, to win babe back, fueling his paranoia and ptsd and taking advantage of that vulnerability to manipulate him.

both charlie and kim smell a rat when they look at the prosecutor - charlie hates the way she speaks to babe and kim has a nose for this kind of thing. but since charlie is busy taking care of babe and keeping the hag away from him, kim volunteers to do the actual sniffing which would relate to my earlier season 2 hc about how kim ends up somewhat reluctantly teaming up with the prison trio and reporting to pete.

so the entire season two would be like a cat and mouse game between self-destructive, unhinged way, team lover boys and the corrupt claw of the law featuring babe’s fractured mental health, charlie’s guilt about causing it and if we want some added conflict between alan and jeff, well... i could see alan, busy trying to keep his family and the garage together, blindly trusting the law and jeff thinking he's being naive and feeling his concerns are being dismissed. and boom, you have all the drama and action you could hope for!

additional things i wouldn't mind seeing:

i know everyone raves about the northsonickim trifecta BUT jeff and north unexpectedly bonding as the two omegas. like jeff saving / stopping north from doing something stupid because north is shit wasted and heartbroken and all alone because sonic left and now kim’s ditched him as well. or have one of them go into a heat with the other being the only one present because everyone else is too busy playing detective or pretending there is no problem.

kim and pete sharing screen time. kim being cagey about pete’s powers and pete being curious about kim’s motives. the sexual tension of these two circling each other while discussing kenta!

winner and dean hate fucking and, once they're done, laying side by side, smoking and talking about their future. dean talks about getting ordained to pay for his sins. winner having a moment of guilt because dean still thinks he's doing the right thing here and this will help way.

jeff trying to seduce alan but alan falling asleep on him for the sheer comedic audacity.

that grave reunion being episode 10 aka the one before shit truly goes down. sonics back, it's a good day, but pete knows way is close by, winner is stalking the grave site with a gun, way is in the bushes...

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 16 – DARK FIC

AUTHOR SPOTLIGHT: Kiyaar

It's incredible just how much suffering Kiyaar can pack into a single fic. Their writing is so raw and visceral that it almost evokes a physical reaction in me, it pulls me in every time. Whenever I need my fix of whump and heartbreak, I head straight to their AO3, because their fics are amazing.

Here's some of their work that I think you should check out:

Take My Body Home

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 11,444 Tags: Rape, Bad BDSM Etiquette, Superior Iron Man

Summary: After the events of Superior Iron Man, Tony sells Extremis to the highest bidder and finds himself living as an expatriate in Russia. Steve's never been good at letting go.

Reasons why I love it: Oh my fucking god, that ending?? My heart is crushed, holy shit. So many lines get crossed, there's so much agony, not just physical but emotional, and it kept my eyes glued to my screen the entire time. This fic HURTS, and if you can handle it, I highly recommend it!

5, 4, 3, 2, 1

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 2,410 Tags: Major Character Death, Survivor's Guilt, Body Horror

Summary: In another world, on another Earth, the Superhuman Civil War has a darker, bloodier end.

Reasons why I love it: I've always been fascinated by the Civil Warrior, and this take on his story just breaks my heart. That scene after he first uses the reality gem - chills. I love those last few paragraphs more than I can say. This fic is amazing, and I hope you check it out for yourself!

Rusted Wheel, or How the Civil War Might Have Ended

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 3,183 Tags: Major Character Death, Canon Divergence, Civil War

Summary: Tony was on the steps of the Courthouse and took the bullets for Steve.

Reasons why I love it: Urgh, I cry. As if the Courthouse Steps weren't already angsty enough, this just wrecked me all over again. I always love role reversal what ifs, and this one is really good. Grab some tissues and give this one a go, it's amazing!

Our Love Is a Ghost That the Others Can't See

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: M Words: 11,726 Tags: Extremis, Depression, Hallucinations

Summary: Post-Civil War, canon-divergent from Director of SHIELD. In Tony’s dreams, he is back in the street, in a crater, the city on fire around him. Steve kneels over him and beats him to within an inch of his life. It’s his favorite place to be, these days.

Reasons why I love it: Jesus Christ, this fic is P-A-I-N-F-U-L. If you like to suffer, this is definitely the one for you. I loved every second of it - the Tony whump, his hallucinations, that ending - it's all brilliant. If you can handle some graphic violence and heart-shattering angst, then definitely give this one a shot!

Accretion

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: E Words: 8,840 Tags: Rape, Torture, Captivity

Summary: No one is coming, he thinks. Tony is busy, and even if he wasn't - Steve has been discarded. He never ranked first, did he. He doesn't know what he was to Tony beyond convenient. Tony is out there dealing with this, somewhere, on the edge of his own mountain, using one of his wondrous and terrible inventions, shaving off another piece of his soul. He wonders how many incursions this is. If Tony lies to himself to get through the day. If he loses sleep at night about it. No, he decides.

Reasons why I love it: Pain. I am in pain. This fic perfectly encapsulates all the complexities of Steve and Tony's relationship, all the betrayal and hurt hanging over their heads. Everything about this fic just breaks my heart in the best possible way. Definitely give this one a read, it's amazing!

[aurumacadicus]

God damn it *kicks a rock across the street angrily* More warnings for self-harm and suicidal ideation.

--

Anyway the background for serial killer Bucky/depressed Tony is Tony’s younger in this (think late twenties/maybe thirty) and after he kills Howard and Maria, Bucky is sent to kill Tony. “No loose ends,” he’s told. So Bucky breaks into Tony’s apartment ready to kill him and instead finds this kid passed out in his own vomit, pulse faint and rabbit-fast, and it would have been so easy to let him die. Hydra wouldn’t even have to cover it up--just a hand over his mouth and nose and he’d be gone.

He’s got marks on his arms. Bucky stares, uncomprehending. He’s never seen anything like them. He’s seen track marks, or bruises from other people’s hands, but nothing as methodical as this, neat rows of short lines, shallow enough that they wouldn’t require medical care but deep enough that they’re visible. There are no other signs of torture, though. No bruises, no ragged edges where he would have struggled. They look... self-inflicted. It unsettles him. He’s not entirely sure why.

Bucky calls an ambulance, walks back to Hydra’s safe house, and murders his handlers.

“Bucky,” Steve says in surprise, white as a ghost, as when he opens the door. “You were--how did you--”

“Heard you’re still Captain America somehow,” Bucky cuts in, brushing past him into the house, and then has him sit down so they can hash out what’s  happened to them. (Steve cries when he hears that Bucky’s been a pawn of Hydra for seventy years. Bucky feels hollowed out when he hears that Steve was frozen in the ocean and was thrown into twenty-twelve with no notice to fight aliens. They both wish they could have reacted differently, but that’s neither here nor there.)

“There’s a boy,” Bucky says. “I need you to watch out for him.”

Steve stares at him for a long time, as if sensing there was more to it. Finally, he asks, “Why can’t you?”

“I think it’s better if you don’t know,” Bucky answers, but then Steve crosses his arms and gives him that frown that somehow still makes him squirm with guilt, so instead he says, “I’m going to kill every Hydra agent I can find. Obviously.” He thinks Steve will scold him. How they should do it right, publicize everything, make it known that Hydra is still around and still insidious. How they should warn people not to fall for their traps.

“Clean up after yourself,” is all Steve says, and then, “If you can’t, tell me, and I’ll fudge the reports.”

Seventy years in the ice changed Steve, Bucky realizes, because he never would have stood for that before the--Before. “His name is Tony. Howard Stark’s son.”

Steve breathes in slowly. Lets the breath out through the side of his mouth. “I’ll do my best.”

“You know him,” Bucky surmises. “He hurt himself, Steve.”

“He doesn’t know how not to,” Steve tells him, and Bucky frowns. He doesn’t know what that means.

Bucky leaves. He has work to do. Steve does too.

[plaidpyjamas]

fuck it, Avengers Dead Dove Do Not Eat fic idea/outline

This is mainly an AU for my Avengers OC Desmond - he grew up in a lab and has a regenerative mutation because of it. In his main story/universe, Tony and Pepper unofficially adopt him and his life is able to finally turn around. The set up is the same here, except that Tony Stark is a Monster with Too Much Power I can try and write it as an "x reader" fic if people want, but portions of it do hinge on Desmond and his own origin story, plus I'd need a beta reader to go through and swap pronouns over. Anyway here's some quick thoughts on the fic, laying down a little bit of groundwork as far as Desmond's situation goes. I can't guarantee I'll actually write it though hhhhh TW: NON-CON (the focus is Desmond's sexual assault at the hands of Tony & Bruce), transphobia, and probably a whole load of other stuff if I do write it

DARKFIC – Tony x Desmond x Bruce Non-con, DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT

Desmond is taken in by Tony around the same time [somewhere around Avengers2012?]

Because of all the tech and money Tony has provided SHIELD he’s gained too much freedom and power – no one is really able to stop him from doing what he wants, because he could rip away nearly all of SHIELD’s resources at this point

What Tony wants, in “adopting” Desmond, is a plaything (he also brings Bruce into it- he's in this weird limbo where he still joins Tony in assaulting Desmond, but he apologizes nearly the entire time, which makes Desmond feel worse)

 Fury feels partly responsible for what Tony (and by extension Bruce) is doing to Desmond – he’s unable to do anything and the guilt eats at him - Fury's constant apologizing and trying to “make it up to him” just makes Desmond feel worse (are you noticing a trend)

Pepper is also trapped – first in her job and now in her marriage w/ Tony – she and Desmond, while living together and going through the same things, aren’t able to do anything to help each other, aside from sympathetic glances now and then (Tony doesn’t allow them together unsupervised maybe?)

Pepper tries to comfort Desmond when she can - by making him food or other small things. She genuinely cares about Desmond, but is really doing these small things for him so she doesn't have to think about her own suffering

Tony won't let Desmond get any of the gender affirming surgeries he wants - claims it's simply not possible with his healing abilities and won't let him talk about it past that - Tony really just wants more control over him (potential forced pregnancy?)

Tony does not allow Desmond to see Loki at all, so sadly that relationship never has a chance

Luckily though he does still meet Bucky - they keep their friendship a secret and Bucky really wants to do something about Desmond's situation but he can't without risking Desmond losing his one single solitary genuinely safe place (Bucky's room) so he's stuck just trying to comfort Desmond and be there to put him back together whenever he needs

Steve either does not notice all of this or he is in denial, so Desmond can't go to him (there has been at least one incident where Desmond felt safe enough to vent a bit to Steve - Tony knew everything by dinner that night, rip)

Steve's unwillingness or inability to see how awful Tony is towards Desmond and Pepper causes a rift between him and Bucky

Potential happy/bittersweet ending - Bucky somehow manages to help Desmond escape and they flee to.....idk somewhere. Maybe they're just on the run from then on. Maybe they go to Wakanda? Maybe Shuri and T'challa take them in and hide them?

I really want to try and find a way to work Loki into this, since he's such an important character in Desmond's canon universe, but idk how I'd go about doing that - unless!!!!! Thor finally catches wind of what's happening and offers to take Desmond to Asgard (Bucky too cause he's not leaving this poor guy all by himself). I guess that could still happen, but it could be like a failed escape attempt? And after that, Loki gets involved in trying to help Desmond or something? I'm hesitant to give Desmond more people who want to help - I feel like that makes it less dark? And if I write this thing I'm going whole-hog like it's gonna make me sick to write it I bet lmao someone help me

idk I haven't really thought about a coherent plot line, just this absolute nightmare scenario lmao

anyway if this sounds like something you'd wanna read please tell me!!! I have so many ideas for this but I don't wanna write and post it if nobody wants it, yknow?

[fawnofanxiety]

Cursed fic idea

Okay look, Ezio Auditore is literally everything. There are times I've asked myself #whatwouldeziodo and then do the exact opposite because it'd probably involve murder.

James fucking Buchanan Barnes and The Winter Soldier have taken up residence in my brain and heart and are 100% there to stay.

Please tell me you see where this is going and have begun crying like I have been for the past 2 god damned months.

My brain decided that my favorite murder baby needed competent help in the form of the best assassin to ever exist. #fightme

SO! So *cries* I started sketching out a fic where Ezio gets yeeted into the MCU a la Isu Bullshit at some point during WW2. There's developing friend/mentorship when my favorite murder birb stumbles on Azzano bc you best believe he'd help the Italian Resistance and dismantle any and every scrap of Nazi supply line he can get his hands on. Like I can see Ezio rolling his eyes at Steve because ho boy does this blonde-haired blue-eyed innocent and idealistic child remind him of himself before- well before he became an assassin. Bucky? Well, Bucky is the man he became after taking his first leap of faith in Venice and his skills as a sniper are breathtaking. Can't really find fault in passing on intelligence to the SSR when he learns of Hydra and pointing the Howlies at this repulsive entity(they are absolutely adorable but he doesn't have the time to focus on giving them more than the bare minimum of time to pass on some of his skills and good lord do the ridiculous duo pick up skills fast. Though Steve frowns on the sneaky sneaky, whatever, they've saved his life more than once). Now, Ezio is the one to give them the info on the train and the soul-crushing guilt he feels when his favorite doesn't come back? When they don't even send a single person to try and recover his body?! That's not gonna fly. Unfortunately, he learns of this too late and well. We all know what happened to Bucky.

I can see Ezio getting to know Howard, understanding but ultimately disapproving of his obsession with finding Steve. After all, Ezio knows just how isolating that obsession can be. But, a sort of friendship? develops? Because Ezio is 100% a hypocrite. He spends every second of his free time trying to track down Bucky. There was no body but he found where he should have been.

Ezio being Ezio cultivates a... hm comfortable amount of wealth over the years and valiantly ducks questions about why tf he isn't aging. Isu Bullshit is my favorite excuse in the AC 'verse. I can see him talking about this to Howard and Peggy when he trusts them enough. Maybe. Maybe, he talks Howard down from building weapons, just a little, but can't completely stop his fall into alcoholism and being a shit father. Maybe, he falls completely under Tiny Tony's spell and becomes Uncle Ezio. Who 100% teaches Tony how to fight back and escape after his first kidnapping. Swapping out with Peggy when he's off searching for Bucky (who he's figured out is the WS but can't fucking track him down) but always always shows up for holidays, birthdays, graduations, science fairs, and silent support at the stuffy galas. Listens to this little boy, who reminds him of Petriccio, trip over himself talking about what he's learned and learning, his never-ending ideas and frustrations. (Jarvis fucking loves this wonderful Italian who also occasionally scares the shit out of him but ignorance is bliss and it's no skin off his back to wash the occasional blood stain out of Ezio's clothing and administer first aid.)

Maybe, he stops the WS from assassinating the Starks. Maybe, he helps Bucky find himself even if he can't do anything about the trigger words. Maybe he becomes a little more blood-thirsty, a little more ruthless when going after any and every Hydra outpost he can. Maybe he sits there and holds Bucky as he cries when Ezio finds the book. Stands behind him, in pride and grief with a hand on his shoulder as Bucky and Tony burn the damn thing. Maybe he whole-heartedly approves of Rhodes, even as Bucky gives the poor child the stink-eye. Is the one to give Tony the shovel talk when he notices the beginnings of attraction between these two idiots. The fact that Bucky proceeded to leave a whole host of bruises when he found out just makes Ezio laugh with pride.

Maybe, just maybe, Ezio finds himself sitting on the balcony of his villa on the outskirts of Florence watching the sunset over his sprawling vineyard with a glass of wine in his hand, his heartache over the family he left behind so very long ago on that bench in the middle of the summer market no longer suffocating. The faint sounds of his bright-eyed and brilliant nephew bickering with the haunted but hopeful man he proudly considers to be his son bring him a sense of peace he never thought he would have again.

[matchbookarmy]

The War is Over and We Are... by Hecate

Rating: Teen

Summary: After they beat Thanos, Steve and Tony muddle through what is left of their relationship.

Ending: Open/Ambiguous but hopeful with a hint of Happy for Now.

Why I'm Reccing: So, I'm not sure why this one comes up at the beginning of the alphabet. Maybe there's a space in the title or something, I don't know. But I am so so so pleased that this was the first fic I read upon returning to Stony fic.

I actually almost didn't click on it, and I waffled back and forth for a bit, because while this takes place after Endgame (edit: this was actually published *before* Endgame came out, but after Infinity War, but for me, it still works just fine with canon if we just ignore the last 15-ish minutes of the movie -- which I do!) , it is ultimately a Civil War fix-it. And I'm always so nervous with those, because a lot of them tend to paint Steve as being completely in the wrong and that's just very far from my own take.

But this fic doesn't do that! Steve feels guilt for the role that he played in Civil War, and everything that came after it, feels guilt about not trusting Tony more at the time -- but he also still has his own feelings about the things that Tony did (including in Age of Ultron). Not a lot of CW fix-its focus on the fact that it happened in the wake of AoU, and I'm glad that this one did, because I think it provides another necessary layer and nuance. Not that this dwells on Ultron, but it does come up as Steve is contemplating how they started to fall apart, and what he wants his relationship with Tony to look like in the future.

Y'all, this fic.... I haven't even finished reading it yet, but I had to start typing this up because I knew it was going to be my first rec. It is just an amazing character portrait of Steve (and also Tony, in a way, through Steve's thoughts about Tony) that feels incredibly in character for Steve in a way that stays true to who he is in canon, while also adding more depth to his character.

Since this is ultimately a reconciliation(ish) fic, it kinda gives those early 2012 post-Avengers getting to know one another vibes in parts of the fic (though everything is tinged with heartache and grief -- even the "happy" moments). Which I actually think is sort of a nice bookend to their relationship. And while this fic is short (only 4.5k) and so never actually gives us a complete reconciliation, we are left with hope that they will find their way back into one another's hearts, that they will work through their guilt, and their trust issues, and find a way to make it work this time.

I don't know. It just feels like a very realistic portrayal of where they would be post-Thanos. And the thing that I really like about this fic is that, in staying true to Steve's canonical characterization, we can feel him holding himself back from Tony, keeping his emotions close to his chest, and just how much it's hurting him to do that. In fact, we see a lot of Steve's recklessness in this fic, the way he's almost careless with himself. Steve is not a perfect character, he is flawed, and I wouldn't want him any other way, and this fic hits his flaws perfectly.

And look, I just need to add something. This fic is, in my opinion, extremely underrated. It only has 146 kudos, but whatever. I've read some truly atrocious fics with thousands of kudos, so kudos aren't everything. But when I went into the comments, the very first comments were from people complaining about the fic, about how Steve didn't do enough for Tony in the fic, and frankly being outright argumentative with the author (this argument made up the bulk of the fic's 18 comments), and that.... that really sucks. Cause this was a truly beautiful fic, and the author didn't deserve that. No author does, but it was especially shitty to see it on such a brilliant character study of Steve.

Anyway, if you give the fic a chance, and I really hope you do, especially if you are a Steve fan, please show the author some love.

~.~.~

Follow me on my journey as I make my way alphabetically through every Stony fic on AO3.

[no-gorms]

Tony ends up thinking this is just another way for Steve to avoid moving on with a RATIONAL and ACHIEVABLE happy life, by “”“deciding””” he’s in love with Tony, Steve won’t actually look for alternatives clearly

And Steve’s like, 👉😖👈 lalala can’t hear you over the sound of how much I love you it’s fine tho you don’t have to love me back!!!! guess what I’ve loved you for years take that!!!

and everyone else is like, wat

https://www.tumblr.com/no-gorms/715909741651673088/post-eg-stony-be-like-stop-being-in-love-with

(following up from this)

Legit! For Tony it's so obvious that Steve is just projecting on him based on their contentious history and perhaps unresolved issues that they've mutually decided not to bring up again in order to make peace, because in the past Steve never cared enough before to want to get to know Tony better, so it's ludicrous for any supposed "feelings" to be genuine let alone for them to have existed for "years". It's Steve's guilt manifesting, that's all!

Meanwhile Steve is like, ok if it makes you feel better to think that way, that's fine by me😌 Anyway you're amazing and everything you do is amazing, and if you're doing a "mission" to get me to stop loving you I will happily participate since it means I can spend more time with you.

All other Avengers are just like Huh, they are on some brand new bullshit, at least this is different.🎖️

[kenisle]

rewatched civil war (twice) and damn team iron man was really doomed from the start

tony: driven by rising guilt. goes against previous values and patterns of behavior so he has very little sway with the govt he’s trying to work with. thinks he can convince steve to compromise his beliefs (have you met steve??) just to get what tony wants while unwilling to do the same. also he’s chosen ross as his ally? and doesn’t even think bruce would take his side on the accords/bucky situation? girl if you’re gonna go this hard at least be sure of yourself.

rhodey: already in the government’s pocket. more power with them but less credibility w everyone else.

vision: 2 years old. v little experience with emotions, which are shown to be brought out most strongly by wanda.

peter: 15 years old. how much did tony even tell him? or did he just wave a shiny new suit in front of him?once he sees past the starstruck-ness i highly doubt he’d side w tony. like steve tells him there’s a lot happening that he doesn’t understand and peter’s all “funny mr stark said you’d say that” like yeah girl but uh that doesn’t make it not true lol.

natasha: demonstrably close with steve and others on his team (clint, sam, wanda). defects p much first chance she gets.

tchalla: also defects as soon as he realizes what was really going on. even before then, he clearly only wanted to get bucky, didn’t care abt tony’s mission. realistically prob wouldn’t have submitted to the accords as bp anyway if it wasn’t in wakanda’s best interest. as he should.

meanwhile team cap was SOLID

steve: once bucky’s in danger, it’s over. man’s locked in and will not be stopped by anything short of a bullet to the head. you don’t trust someone without a dark side, tony? this is steve’s “dark” side: his devotion to bucky.

sam: loyal to cap. they may not always agree 100%, but they’ve got each other’s backs. where steve goes, sam goes.

bucky: spends most of the movie running and defending himself bc he’s the main target, but once tony knocks steve down? bucky’s there to stop him and they’re the dream team once more. gets his arm blown off and keeps fighting. to the end of the line.

clint: helping his friends, plain and simple. he believes in the fight, even if he doesn’t seem to take it as seriously as the others (joking around, pulling punches w nat). he gets the job done.

wanda: loyalty most shaky bc of her connection to vision, but she’s also the only one who can overpower him, and she has bonds w clint and steve as well as beef w tony, so she commits when it matters.

scott: happy to be there, backing cap. kinda like sam in catws. “dude captain america needs my help.” total wild card bringing a new power set to the table, which really came in clutch several times in the airport fight. familiar with the flaws of the us justice system and breaking the law to do what’s right. also he made watching the movie way more enjoyable bc he’s comic relief but not in the “smartass sarcastic” way that i’ve gotten tired of. he’s just a goofy dad fighting the good fight with his weird ass contraptions and gizmos. he risked tearing himself in half with a highly experimental maneuver for a distraction. i cannot stress this enough he went full titan mode instead of, say, supersizing a colony of ants, because these guys he just met needed a diversion to avoid being arrested by these other guys he just met (which is what ends up happening to him because he passes the fuck out immediately after)

and while team iron man was backstabbing each other left and right? everyone on team cap was prepared to stay behind and get arrested — insisted on it — so cap and bucky could escape in the quinjet. tony stark you can never again underestimate the power of friendship because it just blew up in your face and demolished your ass.

[themculibrary]

Hiding Injury/Sickness Masterlist

All Hands On Deck (ao3) - inkinmyheartandonthepage G, 1k

Summary: Tony cursed, cutting FRIDAY off. He had forgotten. How could he have forgotten that Peter had been injured yesterday. He should have benched his kid as soon as he saw him. Peter never should have been fighting.

Or

Peter is injured and the Avengers forget as they are called out for another mission not even 24 hours after the first.

Anywhere but Here (ao3) - occasionalspiderfiction (SemiRetiredAuthor), sickficlurker (SemiRetiredAuthor) T, 2k

Summary: Peter gets hurt in a mission and can't bring himself to duck out of the debriefing afterward.

A Prank Too Far (ao3) - courtinator M, 156k

Summary: A team member's pranking goes too far, causing one member's mental health to take a blow he may not be able to come back from.

Can't start a fire without a spark (ao3) - gottalovev steve/tony E, 36k

Summary: The Avengers might be reunited, but they are holding together with a Band-Aid and a severe case of Tony pretending nothing happened. The superficial truce is shattered the day Steve takes control of Tony's suit and forces him to go to medical in a tense situation. When Tony is ordered to take a vacation, Steve volunteers to go with him.

I kinda sorta got stabbed. (ao3) - peter_parkr T, 3k

Summary: This left Peter alone in a dark alley of Queens past midnight on a school night with a severe stab wound bleeding freely into his cupped hand. He stumbled backward and landed on his ass, leaning against a dumpster.

"Fucking idiot" Peter mumbled. Guy could’ve walked away with spider-man’s identity but instead he got $12 and an empty Dunkin’ Donuts gift card.

---

Or: Peter gets stabbed in a fight and refuses to call Tony but ends up bleeding on his doorstep anyways.

it's hard to be here when I feel like an open wound (ao3) - canon irondad (tomlinsoul) T, 3k

Summary: When Peter falls down the stairs one morning he decides not to tell anyone, his insecurities about not being enough winning out. Too bad insecurities don't matter when they end up trekking through miles of barren land on a takedown mission, and his injuries finally become too much.

Tony knows exactly what to say.

Last Man Standing (ao3) - MusicalLuna T, 1k

Summary: Steve gets hit a little harder than he initially thought, but he's going to handle it on his own because that's what his team needs from him. Right?

Let the wind take me (ao3) - Marnky steve/tony T, 48k

Summary: “Once the heart gets too heavy with pain, people don’t cry. They just turn silent. Completely silent.”

---

Peter struggles as he tries to understand his place in the world. He turns to some unhealthy coping mechanisms, hoping to get some closure but all he finds are worried glances from his parents and neverending guilt.

or

Snippets of Peter's life battling mental illness and trying to learn how to accept the unconditional love from the people who care about him the most.

Self preservation is for boomers (ao3) - Robin_Kid G, 11k

Summary: Peter being Peter sees broken ribs as a slight inconvenience but when Tony finds out, he's under close watch whilst he recovers. A villain he put away is seen prowling the streets once more and Sam is the only other person who knows. Of course, Peter is Peter. Will Sam tell the others? Will he get there in time to stop Peter getting over his head?

sick day (ao3) - aloneintherain T, 2k

Summary: Mr. Stark places the back of his hand against Peter’s forehead, realises again he’s wearing gauntlets and Peter is wearing a mask, and retracts it. “Friday, does he have a fever?”

“Oh my god,” Falcon says. “What kind of hellscape did knock-off Harry Potter throw us into? Are you parenting him right now?”

Sleep Over Jitters (ao3) - inkinmyheartandonthepage G, 2k

Summary: In his nervousness and excitement of having his first movie night with the Avengers, Peter forgets to take his epilepsy medication.

Slipping Through The Cracks (ao3) - dentalfloss pre clint/phil T, 10k

Summary: Phil looked at Clint, lowering his weapon, devastation clear on his face for a fraction of a second. Devastation for what Clint had done or devastation for what he’d suffered, Clint wasn’t sure. He squared his shoulders regardless.

“People like to say that blood smells like iron, but it doesn’t. Blood smells like blood, and sometimes there’s no way around it and no room to regret it.”

The Damages We Keep (ao3) - dentalfloss clint/phil T, 13k

Summary: Clint wasn’t stupid, but sometimes he did stupid things. Hiding the fact that he was injured seemed to make the top of that list as far as Coulson and his team was concerned.

The Five Times Peter Denies an Illness or Injury + the One Time He Doesn't (ao3) - whumphoarder G, 6k

Summary: In which Peter is a little shit who can't admit when he's hurt or sick.

The Sick Little Archer (ao3) - AlyKat G, 1k

Summary: Clint hadn’t ever had the option in life to admit to being sick. Sickness was what happened to other people. Not Clint Barton.

this crown of thorns (upon my liar’s chair) (ao3) - canon irondad (tomlinsoul) T, 4k

Summary: Peter doesn't tell Mr Stark about the terrible pain he experiences after the ferry incident, too caught up in the guilt and shame and depression he feels as a result of Mr Stark's reaction.

Tony still finds out. Two weeks later. After Peter collapses. Apparently, it's time for a talk.

Used to the Pain (ao3) - hemingwaysgirl T, 3k

Summary: Tony usually kept to himself when he was sick, never seeking comfort from anyone. He powered through in true Stark fashion, hiding the paleness and dark shadows with foundation and concealer. Sunglasses and fake smiles completed the look and no one ever suspected a thing. Well, no one except Pepper and a certain annoying spider kid.

We are the reckless (we are the wild youth) (ao3) - occasionalspiderfiction (SemiRetiredAuthor), sickficlurker (SemiRetiredAuthor) T, 7k

Summary: Peter is sometimes just your average teenager who makes bad decisions such as, say, overestimating his tolerance for caffeine.