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lou-struck · 24 days

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Missed Messages

Lucifer x reader

~ You have always tried to be self sufficient and fight your own battles. But when you reach your breaking point, you find yourself alone.

Warnings: Angst with a happy ending, physical and emotional feelings of stress, reader getting treated poorly for being a human, group projects.

~2.9k

You feel like there is a little stress demon bouncing around your chest. In the human world, group projects were annoying, and unfortunately, they still exist in hell.

For one of your classes, you were paired up with Olivier, a Greater demon from one of the Devildom's wealthy families, and his companions. Right from the get-go, he made it very clear that he had no intention of working on a project with a filthy human and that if you were to say anything about his refusal, it would make Diavolo's exchange program look bad if it appeared that the demons at RAD were not being accepting of humans.

At first, you thought his threat was silly. That he was simply a slacker who wanted to get out of work. But after a while, you realized that Olivir has a strong distaste for humans and could have the influence to cause problems for the exchange program if you were to speak out against his behaviors.

So, you put on your best face and ignored his prejudiced behavior. The subtle comments he would make under his breath when you asked questions in class, the way he would cleanse his hand with fire magic after coming into contact with something you had touched, and the way conversations would die out whenever you entered a room without one of the brothers, the Angels, or Diavolo himself by your side.

You have been tirelessly working on this massive project all by yourself; it has stolen all of your free time, and feelings of sardonic frustration are just welling up inside of you. Now, just like the too-heavy book bag that clings to your shoulder, You are nearing your breaking point.

The House of Lamination is a safe haven for you after your tiring days at RAD, but right as you enter through its massive double doors, you come face to face with Lucifer. The Avatar of Pride greets you with a loving expression, but he looks just as exhausted as you feel.

"Mc? Is something troubling you?" he asks, taking in your downcast features with a frown. You want to tell him of your little problem, but he is ridiculously busy and probably has more important things to do than dealing with your inability to play nice with others.

After all, a classmate not liking you is no excuse for you to receive a poor grade on your project…

"Not at all," you reply, flashing him a sweet, convincing smile. "I'm just getting a bit hangry, I can't wait for dinner tonight."

"I see," he says doubtfully.

"How are you doing?" you ask, changing the subject. 'You look a bit stressed."

"Is it that obvious?" he chuckles, raking his hand through his raven-colored hair. "Apparently, those rubber duck toys from the human world have become quite popular in the Devildom, and Lord Diavolo thought it would be fun to give them out at RAD. So now I am going through the student council finances to determine how many ducks and varieties we need."

"Sounds complicated, but why you?"

"No clue," he sighs, "But he seems to think that I have a hidden fondness for these toys."

"Well, I'm sure this Rubber Duck event will go off without a hitch," you say earnestly. "You are so organized and capable you can make anything successful."

"Do you really mean that?" he asks, a smile gracing his fine features. You nod as he gives you a soft peck on the forehead as thanks for your kind words. "I have to work through this paperwork now, but I feel more inclined to do it after your encouragement, Mc."

"Wait," you call after him. "You better make it down for dinner tonight then; if you don't, I will personally invite Solomon to come and prepare the next meal."

His eyes widen as a shudder courses through his strong back. "There's no need for that. I promise to be down for dinner."

Hours later, everyone is gathered around the dinner, eating some kind of Devildom variation of lasagna that Satan made.

Beel has a whole sheet pan to himself and is chowing down as he and Belphie seem to be having a telepathic conversation that no one at the table is able to decipher. Lucifer is at the head of the table, keeping true to his promise of joining you, but he is eating quickly, clearly in a rush.

Asmodeus sits to your right, talking animatedly about something that happened today when he was at the mall, you're sure it's an entertaining story based on the reactions of the others, but you are too lost in thought, poking at your dinner plate with a silver fork.

Although you have been working on your project for days, there is no way you are going to finish the damn thing on time. This workload was meant for a large group, not just one simple human.

"Mc? What are ya thinkin' about?" Mammon asks, stirring you from your thoughts. "Ya haven't touched yer dinner."

"Satan looks up at you from across the table. "Do you not care for this dish?" he asks. "I could make you something else if you would prefer it?" his dejection breaks your heart.

You shake your head quickly. "No, not at all," you say. "I love it; the sauce is really creamy, I just got distracted."

"Oh, I see." he nods as you take a bite of his dish. "I'm relieved."

"Gahhhh," Levi cries from his seat as he sets his game console down on the table. His screen flashing red tells you that he has just failed the level he was on. "I can't believe it, I was so close."

"Leviathan, what did I say about playing video games at the dinner table?" Lucifer asks the purple-haired demon sternly.

"N-not to." he sulks, slipping the little handheld off the table and into his deep jacket pocket.

"Thank you," the eldest responds. He clears his throat to get the attention of everyone. "Now, if I could just have a second of your time."

"One," Belphie deadpans, looking at his older brother. They hold eye contact, and it is clear the youngest is struggling to keep a straight face at his joke.

"Anyways," the taller demon continues, "I have a very important task to finish tonight, and I will need absolutely-"

"That's two seconds now." Satan interrupts with a snicker.

Lucifer, with the wisdom and patience of the oldest sibling, chooses to ignore the teasing and continue with what he is saying. "As I was saying, I require peace and quiet to complete these documents, so I will now be returning to my study and enchanting the door with a noise-canceling spell. I do not wish to be disturbed, so please only contact me if it is an emergency."

"Wait? So we jus can do whatever we wanna do tonight?" Mammon asks, his eyes sparkle with mischievous greed as he imagines the possibilities before him.

"Within reason, Mammon," Lucifer's crimson glare shoots to all his brothers. "But if I find out that any of you decided to waste your free time running about the devildom causing problems, rest assured, I will punish you using everything at my disposal." The room falls silent as the Avatar of Pride rises from his seat and turns to leave. His massive cape swishes dramatically as he walks out the dining room doors.

Unsurprisingly, Asmo is the first to spring from his seat. His arms wrap around you as you inhale his sweet peach-scented cologne. "Mc, come to my room. I have the cutest top you can wear tonight when you go to the club with me." he purrs into the shell of your ear.

"No way," Mammon objects. "The human is gonna come to the Casino with the Great Mammon tonight."

Before the two demons try to drag you across the Devildom to party, you object. "Actually, I have a project to work on," you say, standing. "But you guys have fun."

"Wait, Mc," Beel asks softly, his big eyes full of hope. "Belphie and I were gonna go get some shaved ice for dessert. Would you like to join us?"

Your heart flutters tenderly at the Avatar of Gluttony's request, but the stress you are feeling is hitting you ten-fold. "I wish I could, Beel. But I really have to get my assignment done."

"May I join you two?" Satan asks. "I find myself in the mood for dessert."

"Me too," Levi quips.

"Sounds like a plan," Belphie says, looking at you with a pout. "Are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

"I'm positive," you reply, giving them your most convincing smile. "Now, you guys should go before the shop closes for the night." Beel's eyes go wide with worry, and he hastily leaves the room. As the others follow him out.

Now alone, your body begins to tremble under the stress of the deadline looming over your head. The walk back to your desk is a long one, and tears begin to wheel in your eyes as you stare down at your assignment rubric and wonder how, in the three realms, you are going to be able to finish this project on time.

It's been hours of working. Stressing, erasing, and overthinking and you feel like you are nearing your wits end.

Your screen lights up with a message from Asmodeus. When you open it is a video attachment. Clicking on it you see that the 6 brothers are sharing a lush VIP booth at the Fall. "I wish you were hereeeee," Asmo yells into the speaker just above the thrumming base that belphie manages to sleep through peacefully. Their cheeks are ruddy from demonus, and they have the happiest smiles on their faces.

It brings a smile to your face as you rewatch the video. Just behind Mammon, you see a figure that has you seeing red.

He is double-fisting some kind of green demonus and wearing a ridiculous hat, but you see your classmates, the demon Olivier and the rest of your 'group' out partying without a care in the world.

While you are at home, working tirelessly on their project.

Something inside of you just shatters, and you turn away from your desk and throw yourself onto your bed. The soft pillows muffle your cries of frustration. Your DDD feels like a brick in your hand as you raise it to your eye level.

Your tired face stares back at you on the black screen, and you feel so alone.

You need to talk to someone…

But it's the middle of the night, Simeon and Solomon have gone to bed hours ago and Diavolo and Barbatos are off at a diplomatic conference. You know in your heart that Lucifer is still awake, hunched over his desk as he works through his mountain of paperwork.

Although he said he did not want to be disturbed, your feelings are too severe.

This feels like an emergency.

You call him, wanting to at least hear the soothing sound of his voice. The Dial Tone rings once, twice, thrice… but he doesn't pick up.

You sit there, listening to the dull sound of his answering machine. "I guess even in Hell, I have to leave voicemails," you murmur, waiting for the beep.

"Hey… It's me," you say into the speaker. It's a struggle to keep your voice steady. "I know it's late, and you have lots to do, but if you get this, could you ple-please come here. I just really need someone to talk to right now."

Just voicing your struggle is enough to send tears trickling down your face, and you quickly hang up the phone before you let out one of those raspy, croaked sounds loose from your throat.

Exhaustion courses through your body as you give up on completing the group project for the night. Perhaps when you wake tomorrow, you will have the energy to pretend your problems don't exist.

Lucifer wakes up with his head against the polished mahogany of his desk. A bit of drool wetting the surface as he runs his hands through his hair. "What time is it?" he mutters groggily, reaching out blindly for his DDD.

He pats the empty surface and sits up straighter. Finding that his device is not in its usual place on his desk. His brow furrows as he begins to look through the mountain of papers, trying not to ruffle the organized stacks that he completed earlier before dozing off.

Minutes later of flipping and straightening, he finds it under the center stack and sees that it is flooded with pictures from his brothers, who look like they had a great, but expensive, night out together.

It brings a warm smile to his lips when he sees their cheesing faces. But then he notices another notification he hadn't seen before. "Mc sent me a voicemail?" He clicks play.

"Hey… It's me. I know it's late and you have lots to do, but if you get this could you ple- please come here. I just really need someone to talk to right now." your voice sounds so weak and shaky it fills him with dread.

How could he have missed this?

He stands abruptly, papers flying everywhere from the movement, but he really couldn't care less.

You need him.

You needed him last night and he wasn't there for you.

He has to find you, hold you, and do whatever he can to make you feel better.

Apparently, falling asleep after hitting an emotional low does not constitute the most restful sleep. Your neck feels stiff as you pull your head up from your pillows. The fabric is still slightly damp from your tears the night before. There's this icky feeling in your chest, but it doesn't seem to go away. It only intensifies when you look over at your desk, your unfinished project littering the once pristine space.

Your door flies open suddenly as a gust of air reaches your skin. Lucifer stands in the doorway tensely. He looks ragged, tired, and his deep crimson eyes are muddled with heartbreaking concern. You immediately remember the voicemail that you sent him the night before

You stressed him out; you have to fix this.

"Good morning, Lucifer," you smile. But it doesn't reach your eyes. He can see through your little act. "I didn't mean to worry you with that voicemail; it was really nothing."

"What's wrong?" he says, coming forward, closing that painful distance with determination. His hand cupping your cheek, forcing you to meet his eyes.

It's funny how one simple touch has your self-assured act crumbling to the ground like a poorly constructed house of cards.

You find yourself spilling every detail to him, your exhaustion, the group project, the ostracization from your groupmates, and how you saw that they were out at the club last night."

All the while, Lucifer nods along with your story, his thumb gently running along your cheek in a soothing motion. His actions are caring and tender toward you, but there is a fire blazing in his eyes reserved for someone else. You may not know it yet, but Olivir's days of comfort are numbered.

"Why didn't you tell me of this before," he asks softly once you finish your explanation. "Why did you take this burden upon yourself?"

"I was worried, "you admit. "I heard that Olivir comes from an influential family. If I said anything, he could cause problems for the exchange program that you and Diavolo have worked so hard for."

"Mc, I promise you, that little rat was greatly exaggerating his self-importance." Lucifer's hand rubs gentle circles into your back. "If anything, you have far more influence in Devildom politics than he does," he adds with an amused chuckle. "

"He's still a jerk, though." you sniffle, wiping your eyes. "Thank you for coming here to cheer me up."

"I'm sorry I wasn't here sooner," he murmurs. "You needed me, and I let you down; please let me make it up to you today."

"You have nothing to make up for," you start, glancing back at your table. "Besides, I have to finish that project before tomorrow."

"Absolutely not," he says abruptly. "You will not lay a finger on that project since clearly you have done more than your share. I will make sure Lord Diavolo hears of this situation and you receive full marks on the work you have already done. I need you to know that you can rely on me. No matter how busy I am, I should never be too busy to come to your aid."

"I love you," you sigh, feeling the burdens lifting off your chest and disappearing into nothingness. "But I should've told you sooner. What do you think will happen to the rest of my group?"

He smiles and kisses the top of your head; as you lean into his touch, you don't see the dark look on his features. "Don't worry about them, Mc, I'll make sure they never cause you pain ever again. Now, let's get changed; I'll take you to that new cafe that opened up to Majolish and enjoy the rest of the day.

Tagging: @enchantedforest-network

#obey me nightbringer #obey me shall we date #obey me x reader #obey me #obey me x mc #obey me lucifer #lucifer x mc #lucifer x reader #lucifer fluff #x reader

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forever--darling · 1 year

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iknimaya | neteyam x avatar!reader

summary: half a year later and it was finally time for you to make the trip to the hallelujah mountains and claim your ikran. one step closer to completing your training, you can't help but think about the future - specifically your future with neteyam. it's hard to get anywhere though with lo'ak trying to make plans of his own.

pairings: neteyam x avatar!reader

word count: 10.9k

warnings/notes: swearing, less enemies but not quite lovers, still very slow burn, a lot more angst to come -- fair warning, lo'ak x avatar!reader (one-sided), mutual secret pining, ikran flying, fluff

series masterlist | one of us: part four | requests are currently open for now

When a person becomes one of the people, or in other words, when they are born twice, the clan puts on a ceremony for them. It consists of dancing, feasting, and telling stories to one another — it’s all about connection. A connection between the people, their culture, and the new person who has become one of them. Kiri had been telling you about it nonstop, trying to install some confidence in you.

You would be covered in paint and stand before the clan asking them for their acceptance. The Olo’eyktan would approach you and in his eyes from Eywa, you would either be accepted or denied. If he accepts you, he will place his hands upon your shoulders, above your heart, and in turn, the rest of the clan would follow until they form a large circle around you. Interconnected as one, before Ewya. It’s there where you’d earn your place among the people, forever.

That isn’t the final test that decides your place among the Omatikaya, but only the ceremony. The final test is the hardest thing asked of a person; a journey, filled with an act fueled by the need to prove oneself. A journey into the Hallelujah Mountains where the individual would walk among the floating island of banshees. The most dangerous creature to fly within the sky, aside from the great leonopteryx, the last shadow. You must look one in the eye and if it tries to kill you, it means you have been chosen as a rider.

After that, it's up to you. Live or die. Walk among the people forever or become an outsider. Stay or be exiled. It all comes down to that final test. After spending six months training, learning, and integrating your entire life onto the planet you had once only seen from a glass window, you were about to face the final test. It all came down to that moment after perfecting the language, understanding the orders of energy transfers under Eywa, practicing Tsaheylu, and consummating the skill of hunting. It all came down to sealing the bond with the second deadliest creature of the sky.

It was the morning before you were set to make the trek toward the mountains with Neteyam, Jake, and a few other young Na’vi prospects looking to prove that they should be accepted among the clan as adults. Before the village, they were hoping to be seen and accepted by their parents and other adults alike that they were no longer incompetent children, but well-working individuals of society. You had more to prove than them and everyone knew it.

For you it was everything and that thought alone had you retreating into the forest just before sunrise, the foliage illuminating under your feet, as you found yourself among the only spot you could find peace to think. The river and the waterfall that Neteyam had shown you five months ago — the night you had called a truce to the immature behavior and sharp tension.

From that night on, that place had become his spot and yours. Most of the time, the two of you went together at night. It was a place where you could talk, swim, and whisper to one another about the inevitable future that was approaching the both of you far too quickly. Where yours hung in the balance, unknown about what was to come, his was certain.

When you finished your training, he would be close to completing his own. If you did this, completed this, he would no longer be the Olo’eyktan in training but the future Olo’eyktan of the Omatikaya. He would work alongside Jake until one day the title would be bestowed on him when needed. He would no longer be seen as a boy but a man, and with that came making his bow from what was left of the wood of Home Tree, finishing a song bead for his songchord, and having a woman chosen for him.

Neteyam would be old enough and prove himself to have the ability to choose a woman within the village. However, where it would be any other man’s choice, you quickly realized for the future Olo’eyktan the privilege would not be the same. He would need a Tsahik to lead alongside him and his choice couldn’t withstand being wrong. The clan could suffer and Mo’at and Neytiri would work in their power to prevent that from happening.

As soon as his training was over, they would look to Eywa and choose his mate. From that moment on, they would be engaged, and as soon as he turned eighteen he was expected to consummate their marriage and their courtship. But then eighteen came and went and he had pushed it off. He had just turned nineteen and there was chatter going around, that they were already praying and looking to Eywa to guide them to an answer, and suddenly you couldn’t bear it.

It bothered you to no end, on top of the fear of not passing your final test. The thought of Neteyam being mated with another clan woman left the worst feeling in your stomach and made you so sick, but you shoved it down deep. So deep that no one else could possibly know about how you felt.

The very feelings that started to develop the first evening you met were later masked as dislike during that first month when you refused to listen to one another. It was seen as anger and hatred but after the night when he brought you here, to the river, that feeling still remained. The rage and the resentment were gone but the feelings deep within your stomach were still there, their grip tightly wrapped around your very being.

You knew though that once, or rather if accepted, traditionally one day you would have been able to be matched with someone. Asked by Eywa to be someone’s mate for the rest of your life but even if accepted, not all wishes and traditions are granted to dream walkers. Neytiri had expressed to you multiple times that you would still be a dream walker, a soul belonging to two bodies after the ceremony. It wouldn’t be fair to be mated with someone during the day but separate from them at night. She had lived that life once and she wouldn’t wish that upon any of the young men of their village, let alone one of her sons, who both seemed to have a strong connection with you. Mo’at agreed and therefore forbade you from being promised or even mated to a man of the village unless you became fully Na’vi.

That wouldn’t be happening anytime soon either because the more you wished to become full Na’vi, the more you began to separate from your former life. But Mo’at forbade that too. The transfer consisted of a ritual where the consciousness of a single being was transferred from one body to another. It had only been done twice and before that, no one knew for sure. After thousands of years, some things became more and more like folk tales. Out of those two rituals, only one survived. The one was Toruk Makto, Jake Sully.

With that case in point, Mo’at didn’t believe in your odds and she hadn’t asked Eywa enough about it to grant your request. It had been days ago when you had appeared in her hut, in a state of distress. After the whispers became louder about Neteyam’s future mate and the talk about your Iknimaya seemed to circulate the village.

It all was getting to you, not to mention the more connected you felt to this body, your avatar the body, the less you connected to your own. The original body you had spent almost ninteen prior years in, seemed to be failing you the longer you stayed in the link pod and with the Omatikaya.

The truth was your immune system was shot and somehow months ago you had contracted a virus and from there, things began to spiral. You were taking care of yourself less; by this time, you had become far too weak. Norm and Max had been trying to treat you with everything they had but with their resources limited they could only do so much. It had become worse just a few days prior when you for the first time ever delivered a successful clean kill. The testament of whether you were ready to complete the final test.

That night you had barely made it back to your own room by yourself as you had lost probably close to twenty pounds and had no strength left in your legs. Max had advised you or rather ordered you to take a few days off away from the link pod and lay in bed. You needed to rest and both he and Norm agreed that the strain on your body from the link process wasn’t helping you in the slightest, but you refused. You were too close, after so many long months, you were so close.

Not to mention that in this body, in this form, you couldn’t feel it — the weakness, the limitations, the way you felt yourself losing all hope of a normal life. In this body, you weren’t that and you refused to give it all up to become that version of yourself when you were this close. You suspected that Jake knew, that Norm had gotten in contact with him and told him about your human state but he hadn’t brought it up to you yet. Instead, he communicated it through lingering stares and the sudden extra attention you seemed to be getting from both his wife and his daughters.

On this day of all days though, that couldn’t have your attention, not when you were about to partake in the most important moment of your life. Sat at the edge of the river, you stared forward at the water, your arms wrapped tightly around your legs. Your chin leaned against your knees, deep in thought about all of the worst possible scenarios that occurred if you couldn’t do this.

You heard him before you saw him, he approached you from behind, his footsteps quiet as he stepped past low-hanging foliage like so many times before. How did you know it was him? Because it always was.

“Y/N?” The sound of your name fell from his lips like woodsprites on skin, softly, gently as if he didn’t want to scare you away. He stood behind you for a moment, staring forward matching where you were looking almost in uncertainty at your quietness. “Hey, what are you doing? You do realize we have to start making our way towards the mountains in about an hour.”

Silence was all he got in response as you continued to look forward at the water and the ripples that formed from a fish kissing the surface. His voice broke through your fears and worries with ease but it wasn’t enough to overpower them completely. You felt him sit next to you, close enough that his leg pressed against yours. He stared at the side of your face, those gold irises of his taking in every part of it and analyzing every one of your emotions. You felt his fingers brush against your skin as his hand delicately clasped around your forearm.

As if broken from your spell, you turned towards him, eyes swimming with every doubt in your body, “What if I can’t do this, Neteyam?”

“What?” his brows furrowed “How could you ask that?”

“What if I can’t claim an Ikran? Is that it? I just don’t become one of the people and then your parents exile me? I once again am nothing but an outsider? I don’t think I can do that. A life where I am not here every day in the village, or running through the forest. I don’t think I could stand it.”

He pulled you closer to him, a light chuckle falling from his lips, “Y/N. Woah, slow down.”

“And not being able to see everyone; your sisters, or Lo’ak, or Jake. I mean I don’t think I could ever live with never seeing any of them again. Not seeing you again…”

His hand tightened as if your words registered in his ears, the possibility of that flashing through his mind. He shook his head and focused instead on your widened eyes and how they refused to look away from him. “That won’t happen. You have this. We have trained for months and I know that—”

“But what if—”

“No, but anything, because you have this,” he said, tone solid, not bothering to let you finish your previous thought. A smile broke out across his lips then, “I thought you were tougher than this, Y/L/N.”

Usually, you would defy him, and argue with him but not like the two of you once did. Now those disagreements seemed to always be interlaced with teasing tones and sly smiles. You usually gave him a look filled with smugness just asking for him to try and regain control over you. This look on your face though didn’t appear anything like that though. Instead, you were deflated and falling apart at the seams.

“Me too,” you agreed.

“Y/N—” he started but his voice died quickly as you spoke again.

“If I do this, do you think the people will accept me?”

There was no hesitation on his part, “Of course, they will. Why would you ask me that?”

You looked away from him, pulling your arm away and scooting closer toward the edge of the river, disconnecting from him completely. He felt the warmth from his side disappear altogether as he watched you dip your legs into the water, your head hung low staring at your reflection.

“Pivlltxe’u (speak up)!” his voice was commanding of you then while he watched as you lifted your hands to look down at them.

“I can hear them, you know. After all this time the whispers still follow me around. My alien blood. That I am in a false body. That I am nothing like you but still in every way like them — the enemies, the sky people,” you admitted with a furrow in your brows.

Neteyam wasn’t quite sure what to say as even after the countless amount of nights the two of you had spent in that exact spot, you had never talked about something so serious. Something that was your past life, who you were, or what would be expected of you after this. Most of the time, you talked about him, and his future rather than your own.

“My father was like you.”

You laughed dryly, your hands dropping in your lap as your head lulled back slightly, “Jake Sully was not like me.”

“Except that he was,” Neteyam argued, glancing down at his own hands. His four-fingered hands didn’t resemble his father’s or his two siblings but something that still was deeply a part of his family.

“No,” you said, the harshness evident in your voice as your ears flattened back and your gaze fell back to your ten fingers, “Jake Sully was Toruk Makto. He led the clan to victory against the sky people. The very people who killed hundreds of innocent Omatikaya and refuse to leave this place in peace. He is not one of them.”

“And neither are you.”

He slid closer to you so that you could feel his warmth across your back and side. His chest pressed against your shoulder as he reached forward, his hand ghosting under yours. He took it and held it within his, the back of your hand pressed against his palm.

“You know what I see when I look at these hands?” he asked, voice soft, eyes locked on the side of your face, “It’s not the sky people or aliens in false bodies as everyone else calls them. No, I see my dad coming here and falling in love with my mom. I see him becoming one of the people, leading them to victory, and being appointed Olo’eyktan. I see my sister being born and then my brother.”

His breath slid across the side of your face, and you turned to look at him. The warmth of it then spread to your lips as he sat so close, stare already locked onto your own. Those gold eyes filled with specs of yellow and green haunted you at night every time you fell asleep; this was the first time you witnessed them so up close and personal in months. His gaze flickered down to your parted lips before darting back up to your eyes. You then felt his fingers curl around the back of your hand, slotting in between yours and intertwining them together.

You looked down at them and that warm feeling inside of you began to spread, like wildfire all throughout your entire body. He smiled as he continued, “When I look at these hands, I see you.”

Your own breath hitched in your throat and your eyes snapped back up to his, unsure if he really said those three words to you. Words you had been trying to earn from him for months. Though often used as a greeting, to some it meant so much more. It was said out of respect and in rare cases out of love.

“You can do this,” he said and you swore your heart stopped then and there.

You felt as if any words got stripped from your tongue and yanked back into your throat. You could only stare at him in disbelief taking note of the kindness in his eyes and how gentle his voice was. Five months ago things were so different, the way he looked at you was so different. Even if he still lectured you once in a while or hated how you sometimes did run off with Lo’ak, he was different. Ever since that night in the very same spot where he apologized and opened up himself to you, he wasn’t the same Neteyam Te Suli Tsyeyk’itan. From then on it was like he promised himself and his people that he wouldn’t be that person again. It started with you.

His hand tightened around yours, but before you could say anything else, the sound of footsteps and brush being pulled aside was heard. Your eyes broke away from Neteyam’s and he followed where your attention had drifted to.

Lo’ak stood just a few feet away, frozen at the sight of his brother’s hand tightly clasped around yours. When he noticed how close the two of you were sitting his hands tightened at his sides and his eyebrows raised almost in shock. You noticed the way a lump formed in his throat as his gold eyes, appearing so much like Neteyam’s, locked onto his older brother.

It was almost as if they were having a silent conversation through their matched stares and rigid statues. Lo’ak shifted uncomfortably on his feet as he hadn’t seen the two of you like this. He thought he had known how the two of you felt about one another. His brother hated you and you couldn’t stand the attitude you got from the oldest Sully. You two never acted like this, let alone felt any certain way to justify why you sat so close, holding hands.

Suddenly, it felt like so much more than two people casually comforting one another. Because you and Neteyam were at each other’s throats for months, even if things weren’t entirely the same, the two of you never publicly acknowledged one another outside of lessons. Lo’ak wondered if it had all gone over his head. Were their stolen glances? Light touches anytime you walked by one another in the village? At night would Neteyam sneak out of their tent just to come to find you?

He was overthinking it, evident in how his eyes flickered from you to his older brother and then down to your joined hands. But how could he not when he felt like he was getting slapped across the face?

Neteyam able to read his brother’s expression sighed and released your hand from his — almost as if it was the easiest thing in the world, almost like he needed to. You scooted back from him, putting more distance between the two of you as Lo’ak’s eyes zoned in on you, lips still parted in shock.

“Uh what is going on? You two are friends now?” his voice was spiteful and you couldn’t help but let your mouth part in shock.

Neteyam’s eyebrows knitted together and he suddenly became annoyed with his brother’s attitude, “Lo’ak, don’t!”

“What, I was just asking,” he rolled his eyes as he rubbed the back of his neck, “Dad says they’re ready. We should get going.”

You felt yourself inhale, your breath hitching as Lo’ak nodded his head in the direction of the village, refusing to make eye contact with his older brother. You looked over at Neteyam despite Lo’ak’s glare on your back, needing his reassurance one last time. He nodded at you approvingly, another reminder that you had this. His words ring in your ears and it was like suddenly his opinion was the only one that mattered. That whatever happened, what he thought about you was all that mattered.

Standing up, you approached Lo’ak as every moment of training seemed to flash before your eyes from beginning to end. It all led to this moment. Win or lose? That was up to you. He watched his brother stand too to follow the two of you as he wrapped his hand gently around your elbow.

You didn’t even question the touch from Lo’ak as over the course of the last six months he usually found some way to be touching you. Whether it was his palm on your lower back, legs brushing against one another during dinner, or his fingers trailing across the back of your hand while standing next to one another.

His physical touch had increased since you had gotten your avatar, but his flirting still remained the same. He was still the same Lo’ak you had met when you were a child and though Kiri had a lot to say about it, you constantly reminded her that things had not changed for either of you — especially for you.

The two of you walked alongside one another with Neteyam trailing back just enough to hear your conversation but not enough to be right on your heels. Something else that had lessened too, his need to hover over you and Lo’ak. With you spending so much more time with Neteyam, there was less time to be with his siblings so when Lo’ak did manage to swoop you away or convince you to sneak off somewhere, Neteyam turned a blind eye to it.

A part of you ignored the way your stomach dropped every time he let you go even when Lo’ak was asking you to leave early during a lesson. Neteyam would stare over at his brother and simply shrug and then just like that, you were being swept away in the opposite direction.

“You ready?” Lo’ak asked, his hand slipping down from your elbow to his side, but still close enough where you could feel his pinky bumping into yours.

It was something that had surely caught Neteyam’s eye. The way Lo’ak’s hand so clearly matched yours and even with the two of you walking side by side, he knew that your hand fit perfectly into his younger brother’s — five fingers and all. Just as he had noticed the certain way his younger brother had been looking at you lately as well as constantly trying to get your attention.

It plagued Neteyam with the worst feeling he had yet to encounter, one that stuck to him worse than the rage he had once pushed down so far. The frustration he once held for you didn’t match the way he felt now watching the two of you interact. A green monster their father had called it when he told his sons about it a few years ago — jealousy. It was a feeling that masked all others and slowly drove you mad if you let it.

“Yeah, I think so,” you replied softly, unable to look away from the forest before you as if you were taking it all in, in case it would be the last time.

“You think?” Lo’ak raised a single brow, “Please tell me you are more sure than that.”

Neteyam had heard the accusatory tone in his younger brother’s voice and he felt like scolding him for it as he noticed the way your ears twitched uneasily. What you needed right now was someone to reassure you not question you.

“I am…” your voice trailed off, your hand pulling away from where it hung by your side next to Lo’ak’s.

“Hey,” Lo’ak stopped, his hand grabbing your shoulder This made Neteyam pause too, a couple of feet behind the two of you. You glanced up at Lo’ak, hesitantly, gaze glancing from him and where the village sat just behind the tree line.

Lo’ak squeezed your shoulder in his, a smile forming across his lips, “You’re going to be fine.”

You nodded, but you seemed even less convinced now than you had been moments ago near the river, hand locked within Neteyam’s grasp. The older Sully boy cursed under his breath at his brother’s obliviousness, not able to read your feelings as easily as he could. He felt his whole body stiffen worse as he watched Lo’ak’s hand drift to your lower back and continue to guide you towards the village where their father was waiting with the other initiates.

“My dad and Neteyam will be with you the whole time and lead you up the mountain, okay? Then I’ll meet you up there as soon as I can,” Lo’ak explained even though you hadn’t asked, already aware of how the process would go from Neteyam explaining it thoroughly the night before.

“You’re not going with?” you asked, cautiously.

Lo’ak smiled at the question as the three of you broke through the brush and back into the village, “I have to do some things for my mom but I’ll fly to you when I am done. I’ll be there by the time you guys reach the top.”

You barely made a sound at his words, just continuing to walk through the village as a clear spectacle for everyone to look at. A show for them to whisper about and place bets on if you would manage to pass the final test or not. Their whispers were low and you folded into yourself as you observed the children pointing and the mumbling of the adults.

Lo’ak hadn’t spared a glance in your direction, but your frame relaxed briefly at the feeling of another person on your other side. It was Neteyam. He noticed the shift in your body language faster than anyone else. The way he walked overshadowed your figure slightly from others as if part of him wanted to protect you from everyone else and their loud mouths.

He as well as anyone else couldn’t deny how this day had proven to be a huge deal not just for every other Na’vi attempting it but because there was a dream walker among them attempting it too. It had been nearly nineteen years since the last dream walker climbed the Hallelujah Mountains and claimed his Ikran. The legend of Jake Sully was still talked about fondly by adults to their children as he was the first sky person to ever attempt it. As he went on to become Toruk Makto, those who had been too young to witness any of it at the time found their eyes forever focused on you — the next dream walker. The next sky person to try and live among them.

Neteyam could see it on all of their faces; the excitement, the curiosity that came when they saw you. Sure there were other young Omatikaya hoping to claim their Iknimaya but all eyes were on you. Especially considering it wasn’t just a test for you, but a test for the man who had taught you everything you knew. It was a testament to the future Olo’eyktan and if he had the capability to lead his people. Evident in the way all of the gold eyes would drift from you to him and how close he was walking next to you.

Now add in the fact that you were walking in between both of Toruk Makto’s sons, that sure also had an effect on people, noticeable in the way they would lower their hands to whisper to one another. He heard his name float in around his ears, accompanied by his younger brother’s. It was like adding that into consideration, you were shrinking further into his side.

As you approached the small group of young hunters just at the edge of the forest, you all found Jake standing proudly, speaking to all of them. Suddenly then as you stood just a few feet away, Lo’ak turned to you, his hand drifting down to yours. He squeezed it and wished you luck before he slipped away in the opposite direction towards his family’s tent.

Jake turned on his heels to see you standing there with his oldest son and he had to withhold the smile that was threatening to form on his face; one of pride almost even though you hadn’t done anything to have earned it. His eyes flickered to Neteyam and then back to you as the other four hunters, all many years younger than you, stared at you in wonder.

“You ready?” he asked, the same exact words Lo’ak had said only moments before and it brought on another wave of anxiety into your stomach.

You opened your mouth, lips parted slightly as if you were going to respond but no words emerged as you could feel all of their eyes burning holes into you. Neteyam’s gold eyes looked from his father to you but noticing your expression, he leaned closer to you, his hand ghosting over your back as he caught Jake’s gaze.

“She’s ready,” he said, without a question as his hand dropped from where it had hung in the air just over your shoulder blades. The warmth of it still ghosted across your skin though he hadn’t actually touched you.

Your fingers were digging into the ground above you, upper arms aching as you hung over the side of the mountain, feet barely hanging onto the side. Short of breath, you attempted to pull yourself up but grunted out of distress as your arms seemed to pop and ache at the attempt. You had felt weaker lately and you had a horrible suspicion why. Cursing under your breath, you glanced to your side, watching as each young hunter easily pulled themselves up. The nerves in your stomach increased again though Neteyam had spent the whole ride over on his direhorse, at your side sneaking you reassuring looks. It was like every few moments, his gold irises would drift back to you almost as if something about you guided him back.

You had thought no one would have noticed the small interaction but it was clear Jake Sully, and Toruk Makto had. He had been stealing his own glances in your direction having once been in your position and he was not surprised to find you riding in silence, chewing a hole into the bottom of your lip. His look was just as protective as his son’s and the pressure of their lingering gazes felt heavy on your chest.

Not to mention, every time the Olo’eyktan looked over his shoulder, he found his son already looking at you. The corner of Jake’s mouth lifted curiously as he watched the interaction between the two of you. The stolen glances how you would nod over to the older boy to assure him that you were alright. It had completely shifted, almost like a 180 from how the two of you interacted five months prior.

Just as you were about to try and swing your body up for the third time, a hand extended out to you. Neteyam stood on the edge, leaning forward, his arm out as any strong protector would. Jake watched closely as you shook your head at his son, eyes threatening him to back up and let you do this on your own. Neteyam sighed but took two steps back giving you a little more space.

The ache at this point was barely tolerable as you felt the rock scratching into your knees and your side. Sucking in a deep breath, you tightened your core and pulled yourself up. Arms bent at a ninety-degree angle, you swung one leg up and stood up with ease, slightly out of breath. Jake nodded approvingly and Neteyam held his hands up in defeat. You had this.

You followed the group across the floating mountain until you came across a waterfall, a small path hidden behind it that would lead to the other side. To the other side where all the Ikrans were, evident by the sounds of their flapping wings, and screeches. It made your ears twitch hesitantly as beads of sweat formed along your hairline.

You walked closely behind Jake, his tail flicking your leg as Neteyam stood behind you, his hand wrapping around your side to press along your hip as if to keep you from getting too close to the edge. You felt your breath hitch at the action but didn’t react to him, too nervous at the sight of the waterfall opening. Jake stopped right near the edge, looking over his shoulder to where you stood behind him

“Y/N, you okay going first?” he asked, cautiously, lowering his voice as he reached out to take your shoulder in his hand.

You nodded, but that didn’t feel like enough as you glanced past him to the crowd of creatures stalking around. All creatures with razor-sharp teeth and large claws. As your eyes met his again, there was a different look about you, “Yes.”

He smiled, squeezing your shoulder. You felt Neteyam lean closer from behind you, his chest meeting your back as his hand shifted upwards from your hip to your chest, his fingers pressed along your collarbone. His mouth opened softly to speak but they closed at the sound of a screech from behind you all on the other side of the waterfall. All heads turned and within seconds, another person emerged. Lo’ak appeared, his riding headpiece pulled down across his forehead, eyes finding yours immediately.

A grin occupied his face, “Hey, I told you I’d make it.”

As he looked past you though, he found his father giving him an unimpressed look, eyes settled into a blank look. He clicked his tongue back as if telling his younger son not to interfere as nine out of the ten times he would probably do something to cost this for you.

Lo’ak held his hands up defensively as he wedged his way between the other hunters and his brother, “Got it. I’ll be good.”

Sighing, you shifted your gaze back to Neteyam as his breath fanned across your face, “You can do this, okay? This you must feel inside. If it chooses you, move quickly just like we’ve practiced. You will have one chance.”

His words absorbed into you, your attention shifting from him back to the mountain ledge before you. You scanned the area, the banshees' colors reverberating off your eyes, like a reflection upon glass. You took one last deep breath, puffing your chest out as you stepped by Jake out from behind the waterfall. Confidence filled your statue as the Toruk Makto called your name.

Jake’s stare matched yours, flooded with determination interlaced with assurance, “Trust your instincts and trust your reflexes. Let your mind go blank and listen to your strong heart.”

You smiled for a moment before it fell away, a tight line taking its place. With your rope in hand, you unraveled it, able to hear the shuffling of the group of people stepping out from behind the waterfall. All were eager to watch the prospect, the dream walker, the sky person take on their Iknimaya. With the rope interlaced between your fingers, you swung it around as you stalked forward, slowly, the edges of the rocks digging into the bottoms of your feet.

Jake and Neteyam followed slowly as you stepped forward, eyes meeting each banshee you passed. A few flew off the large rock and with each one that disappeared from view, you felt the base of your stomach form into knots. The groups began to lessen as you moved forward near the edge of the mountain, saliva settling into the back of your throat.

None had shown an interest in killing you. None had shown an interest in your gold stare and sharp fangs. Not a single one could look you in the eye and bare its teeth. It was as if they could smell your alien blood, and see you as an unworthy rider, nothing like one of the Omatikaya. Your heart clenched as you slowly approached a third group of Ikrans. A bead of sweat slipped down from your forehead as you met all of their eyes, a small noise erupting from your throat resembling a yell.

Three of them flew off, their tails practically stuck in between their legs. Your anxiety spiked again until you found one Ikran still standing in front of you, its head turning towards you as it noticed you out of the corner of its eye. Its large yellow eyes zoned in on your predatory stance. You felt your ears flatten for a moment as you took in the creature. The large creature seemed to have the widest wingspan you had yet to have seen on an Ikran. Its skin was dark blue, so dark, it was almost black, resembling the night sky with bright purple and neon green markings.

“Shit,” you could hear Lo’ak from a few feet behind you as everyone else took in the Ikran’s large fangs and sharp talons.

You stood there, eyes widening in shock, tail flicking wildly behind you as the sound filtered over to you of someone smacking Lo’ak across the head. It was Neteyam no doubt. Shuffling awkwardly on your heels, you swung the rope around in your hand as the creature’s claws scratched at the ground beneath it. Its jaws were razor sharp and you felt something spark in you as it leaned its head back and opened its mouth wide revealing them. The hiss that erupted in your ears snapped you out of your daze and you watched as it stood up on its hind legs, snarling nonstop.

Tilting your head to the side, you felt all doubt, all fear be ripped free from your body. All that was left in its place was confidence in the form of adrenaline coursing through your veins. A small smirk formed across your face and Neteyam watched swelling with both pride and admiration, his eyes flicking back and forth from you to the beast before you. As the Ikran let out another loud screech, your ears flattened across your head, nose wrinkling as you revealed your fangs and hissed — a challenge you were displaying to the Ikran.

“You gotta move, Y/N,” Jake said, lowly under his breath, but you heard it, as your entire body broke free from the hold the Ikran’s gaze had on it.

“Let’s do this,” you mumbled, swinging the rope around in your hand as you stepped forward toward the Ikran.

Just as you took another step forward, the creature jumped forward, its mouth opening revealing its teeth again. It chomped trying to get a hold of you but your reflexes were too fast. You dodged it by leaping to the side and swinging the rope over the Ikran’s snout. It yelled, the scream high pitched, as the rope wrapped completely around its jaw locking it shut. You swung a leg over the creature, wrapping yourself around its neck. Arms locked around its head you struggled as the Ikran began to panic.

It stood upon its hind legs, wings flapping rapidly as its head thrashed back against you. Your grip kept slipping from around the Ikran, leaving strings of noises to slip from your mouth as it flapped around obnoxiously. Neteyam moved closer but still kept a reasonable distance between you and the beast. He hissed under his breath as he felt your window closing.

“Make the bond!” he yelled.

With one arm banded across the Ikran’s snout, you groaned as you reached for its queue, all strength leaving your body slowly as you continued to battle the large animal. As you felt the smooth skin of the queue within your fingers, the Ikran growled and threw its head back. Connecting with your body, you felt your grip loosen from the animal and disappear completely.

A yell erupted from your throat as you bounced off the back of the Ikran and collided with the hard ground. Your side hit the harsh material with a thud and you hissed out in pain as you felt it scratch against your skin. Legs limply on the ground and chest heaving up and down, you peered up at the Ikran as it slowly turned around to face you.

The rope was still tightly bound around its mouth but it was clear that your attempts had only pissed it off. It tried to break free from the constriction around its jaw but stopped for a moment when the cable didn’t snap. Its eyes found your frame on the ground, laying on your back, leaning upon your elbows. Body shaking, you were trying to catch your breath as the Ikran stalked forward, claws ripping holes into the ground. Remaining completely still, you peered up at it, eyes narrowed and a glare reflected across your face. This was the moment, the challenge at hand, the turning point of your entire life.

Win or lose?

Live or die?

Lo’ak bounded forward, trying to get to you, but he was stopped by his brother throwing an arm across his chest. Neteyam’s eyes had never left you and though his heart was clenching within his chest, a greater feeling had appeared within him. One that felt as if it had been sent from Eywa. A reminder of your strength, your fierceness, and the warrior that had formed deep within your bones. A smirk formed on his face as he watched the intensity in your eyes increase.

Your gold eyes hadn’t moved from the Ikran and as you looked deep into its black pupils, you saw your whole life flash across your eyes like a movie. Your father’s death. The great war, that convinced your mother to flee back to Earth. A newborn baby unable to travel within Cryo. A childhood stolen in replace of living in the confines of a lab. Spider’s resentment towards you. A human body you refused to accept as a reflection of who you were as a person. Arriving at the village, the constant judgments and fear sent your way from the villagers. The word alien being branded across your forehead.

It all had led to that moment and it all reflected back at you as you were able to see your reflection within the Ikran’s eyes. Smooth blue skin, gold eyes, white freckles, and a challenging curl to your lips. You, this was the real you.

One of the people or an outsider?

Ears twitching, your stare became deadly as you pushed out another hiss from your throat, the sound igniting your whole body with all of the energy and trust you had left. Just as the Ikran bounded forward, lifting its body, claws glistening in the sunlight. You tucked and rolled to the side out of the way just as the beast slammed its feet down into the spot you initially had been.

Moving quickly, you jumped up upon a rock and leaped for the Ikran. With a huff, you grabbed onto the animal, hand locking around its queue. Your legs folded across the Ikran’s head, tucking it in closer to its body as the creature flopped down onto its side. With your shoulder digging into the ground, you yelled out in pain as you reached behind for your own queue. Tilting the Ikran’s queue upwards, you moved yours towards it and felt your whole body relax as the pink nerve endings finally connected.

Chest still heaving up and down, your body collapsed for a moment as the Ikran’s pupils widened dilating. It convulsed again, as your hands wrapped tightly around the rope, “Stop!”

The Ikran’s body fell limp, relaxing at your words, and within a matter of seconds, its breathing leveled out. Staring down at the creature, a smile appeared across your lips, as it stared back at you and you were able to feel the way your heartbeats moved in sync with one another. Its breath you could feel within your lungs and it relaxed under your touch.

Kneeling over the Ikran’s neck, you felt the dirt sticking to your legs as you reached for the rope locked around its jaw. It loosened and slowly the Ikran rose from the ground, stretching out its mouth. It purred underneath your palms as the Ikran slowly stood up, taking you with it. Your feet were lifted off the ground, and you settled back against the base of the creature’s back, readjusting your grip.

Cheers were heard and as you looked up, you found the young hunters pumping their fists in the air and yelling your name. Jake was grinning from ear to ear, a look of pride swelling on his face. The same look both of his sons got when they completed their Iknimaya. Neteyam stood, shoulders pulled back, chest puffed out with the same look that his father displayed but somehow his tugged at your heart more.

He stepped forward as if he was going to approach you, but he stopped as Lo’ak blew past him. A large smile occupied his face, but you couldn’t stop yourself from glancing over his shoulder to his brother instead.

“First flight seals the bond," Lo’ak let out a yell and in an instant, there was a flash of blue and green and his Ikran was landing right beside yours. He hopped on, connecting his queue to the animal, before flying off into the sky, “Y/N, come on.”

You waited for a moment, stuck in a place where you weren’t sure where to go — almost as if your heart was split in half. Neteyam stood in the same spot, his eyes having never left yours and from where he stood he could practically feel the anticipation buzzing through your skin.

He wanted more than anything for it to be him — to be the one you would fly through the sky with on your first flight. After so many months of teaching you and spending endless nights under the trees by the river, he hoped it could be him. But at that moment it wasn’t; even though it was Lo’ak he couldn’t steal this experience from you. He wouldn’t, especially since he knew what it was like to be in your position.

Even when a part of you wanted him to give you a reason to stay and wait for him and his Ikran, you also couldn’t deny how restless you felt there on that rock. He could see it on your face, clear as day, like how he had seemed to learn every other one of your mannerisms in the last half of the year. Biting onto your lower lip, you couldn’t stop the way your eyes had softened over time as you had gotten to know this young man, who somehow had snuck up behind you and stole your heart.

It was something you hadn’t fully realized until that moment when he smiled over at you, his fangs poking out just past his lips. It wasn’t until he looked up after his brother and nodded his head in the direction, clicking his tongue softly in the air as if he was giving you permission.

Curling your fingers, you brought your hand up near your forehead and extended it out towards him. I see you.

With that you called out to your Ikran, the word fly falling from the tip of your tongue. It took off into the sky, wings extended out to their full length, as it dove straight down off of the mountain. Neteyam ran forwards towards the edge and peered down into the clouds where you and your Ikran had disappeared. But then in a matter of seconds, the clouds broke apart and you appeared again. Soaring through the sky, he watched as the Ikran leveled out, the image of your last action leaving an imprint in his mind and a permanent smile on his face.

Jake had been right once, in his video log. A direhorse was one thing but flying an Ikran, a person was made for this. You were made for this. With your feet perched along the Ikran’s sides, your hands clutched around its queues, giving quiet commands — it was as if you were at peace, completely free from the cage that your human body had turned into, free from the past that had plagued your memories, and the expectations that a dream walker held.

Feeling the wind on your face and the sun soaking into your skin, you were brought back to that first day with the avatar, when you first walked out of the lab. It felt just like this, able to take a deep breath without the need for an oxygen mask. It was a freedom and a privilege, just as this was.

As you looked around at the floating mountains, and the other banshees floating around you, you knew it then at that moment that you belonged there. You were a warrior, a rider, an Omatikaya, and in one way or another you were going to convince Mo’at of that and every other Na’vi. She was going to approve your request for the transfer ritual if it was the last thing you would ever do.

You had heard him before you saw him. A yell and then an echo across the sky followed by a shadow above you. Looking up, you found Lo’ak smiling down at you, the same look in his eye that you knew filled yours. The look of an Omatikaya rider. He veered left and then swooped down, his Ikran bumping into yours lightly. You gasped, hands instinctively tightening around your Ikran’s queues as your balance shifted.

Looking back over to Lo’ak, you found him laughing, a devious expression the only way you could describe it on his face. Withholding your own smile, silently you advised your Ikran to lean to the right, straight into Lo’ak’s lane. Your Ikran’s wings bumped into his lightly causing him to bank off to avoid the two of you colliding. When he looked over at you, you couldn’t help but let your head lean back as your sweet laugh escaped your throat.

You flew like that for a while, him casually bumping into you just to either get on your nerves or hear your laugh again. And somehow even though you wished Neteyam was still there to share that moment with you, you couldn’t help but indulge in the happiness you felt to be with Lo’ak — your long-time friend, the boy who had been flirting with you senselessly, but someone who would never once give up on you. He was loyal and even with your heart wishing for something else entirely, you knew it was a special moment to share with him.

Hours had gone by and finally, as the sun began to fall from the sky, Lo’ak had gotten your attention. You thought maybe he would lead you home, back to the village, but instead, he nodded his head in another direction, back into the floating mountains. Even with your lack of direction, you knew it wasn’t the right way, but you followed him anyway. He landed on one that had seemed so random to you, but you followed, commanding your Ikran to land.

Listening, it came to a stop near his, and for a moment before you got down from the creature, you looked over to Lo’ak still sitting upon his, and the largest smile formed across your face. Giggling, you shook your head in utter disbelief at the events that had happened the last few hours that were real and now engraved within your memory and soul forever. A look of his own formed across his face as both of your laughter faded.

He tilted his head to the side, something in his eyes completely different than anything you had seen before, a fondness of sorts, “Look at you, girl! You’re a natural already.”

His gaze was soft, too soft, you knew that. You looked away suddenly dismounting from the Ikran, letting your queue disconnect for the first time in hours. Letting out a soft breath, Lo’ak followed suit and he approached you to find you already staring over the edge at the fast-setting sun.

He chuckled, “This was where Neteyam and I both went when we each completed our Iknimaya. We flew for hours unable to convince one another to return home to the village. Even when he had completed his a few years before I did, he always flew like it was his first time — like we both could stay up here forever.”

You slowly turned your head to face him, his words drawing you in. He smiled at the memory, “Then even after we had been flying for hours unend we would come here, to this spot, and watch the sunset, the evening eclipse. Shit, you should have seen how mad our mom used to get at us when we would return home after dark. It was scary, honestly.”

“You still do that?” you asked suddenly, your own voice surprising you, “Fly together long after dark.”

Lo’ak shook his head, his smile slipping from his face just as quickly as it had appeared, “No, at least not with Neteyam. For the last year or so, he's been too busy with training. His focus is entirely put on our father and the role of being the future Olo’eyktan. Dad has him on a tight schedule.”

“But what about now? He is done training me. Shouldn't he have some extra time now?”

“No, because even if he won't be spending all day every day with you, he'll have other things to worry about. Olo'eyktan things with my father; raids, runs, lookouts, spotting.”

You nodded, his words making you once again realize, that this was it. Neteyam had done his job and no longer would you be spending days with him in the forest learning the language, hunting, or about the energies of the world. No more nights sneaking off into the forest just to breathe, away from the pressures the adults presented. He had done what was asked of him — teach you the ways of the Omatikaya.

“Yeah, I guess that would make sense,” you replied, unable to stop the ache that appeared in your chest or the need to pull on the tips of your fingers.

He examined the expression on your face and the disappointment that seemed to flood your system. He couldn’t help his next statement from slipping out of his mouth. “Yeah, so it's a good thing my mom and grandmother are choosing his mate for him? Because I don't know if he would ever have the time to do it himself."

“Hm, the next Tsahik, right? It’s an important role and an important choice. That will be happening soon then?”

“Yes, I think so, at least announced soon anyway. Mo'at has been looking for quite a while,” Lo’ak agreed, suddenly leaning closer to you as the thought once again plagued his mind of what he had overheard days ago. “Have you thought about it at all?”

Your brows knitted together as his question filtered through your ears. Looking away from the eclipse, you matched his stare, a questioning look filling your eyes as an unsure chuckle rumbled within your throat, “Thought about what?”

He was quiet then, eyes narrowing as they suddenly scanned your face, unsure if he should clarify what he had asked. Lo’ak turned to you fully, reaching out as if he was going to take your hands in his but then after a moment, they dropped back to his sides, a defeated sigh falling from his lips.

“Are you asking me about—”

“A mate?” he cut you off, “Yes.”

“What?” You sputtered out, eyes widening suddenly as your stomach tightened at the sudden shift in conversation. “Lo’ak—”

“I am asking you about whether or not you’ve thought about it,” he clarified, voice once again silencing yours as his bright eyes never seemed to leave yours, “You’re already eighteen and—”

“Lo’ak, stop,” you said, lifting a hand and sure enough his voice fell silent with the rest of his thought driting away to the back of his mind. “You and I both know that I can’t be mated with anyone. It is wrong.”

“But not impossible. You can. It’s just frowned upon.”

Your mouth fell open agape, afraid of where he was going with the words he had so clearly admitted to you. The way he was looking at you as he said it left a feeling in your stomach, almost as if it was dread, twisting away at your insides.

Yes, it wasn’t impossible, but Neytiri had explicitly warned you how wrong it was and what kinds of problems it would cause. Especially, considering Mo’at had denied your request, it would be even worse if you mated with someone without any of their blessings, defying their direct set rules.

It also wasn't Lo’ak that came to mind when you put in the request. Sure a large part of you could always say you went to Mo'at for yourself, for the health you were currently lacking when you left the village at night and returned to the lab, but there was another reason — another person. It had never been and would never be Lo’ak.

“I mean it clearly has crossed your mind if you went and saw Mo’at. You asked her about the transfer ritual, right?”

Eyes narrowing in his direction, you held your ground, body tensing as he revealed that he somehow had known. Known that you had gone to see the Tsahik and asked her about the consciousness transfer. He knew and suddenly a panic filled your body. What else could he have known? The reality is there's so much he doesn't know, so that plagued you with the question.

You shook your head, annoyance evident in your tone, “Lo’ak, how did you…”

“I heard you,” he admitted without a moment of hesitation, “I wasn’t trying to eavesdrop but when I heard your voice with Mo’at I was curious. Then you mentioned the transfer ritual, and I couldn’t help myself but listen.”

You exhaled, somewhat frustrated, a sudden notion to get back on your Ikran and escape back into the forest and to the village. Your body had already used up its stored energy for the day and you knew the night would be hell when you returned to your human body. But as annoyed as you were that he had heard the request you had put in with Mo’at, you were interested in why he had brought this up. Why he had chosen to mention it to you — let alone the part about mates?

“What are you trying to say?”

He smirked then as if he had come up with the most brilliant plan but it only left your body feeling cold and slightly worried, “All I am trying to say is that you will become full Na’vi and that means you will be able to be chosen as someone’s mate.”

“Lo’ak,” you warned suddenly, able to follow his thinking after having known him for so many years, “Please.”

He ignored your quiet plea for him to be careful with his words as your eyes fluttered to a close. His hands taking a hold of your arms bought your gaze back to his. A small smile appeared on his lips, “What if we became mates? What if we chose each other?”

A pin dropped as well as your stomach, as if you were back on your Ikran diving down within the sky, waiting for the air to shift. This didn’t feel like it was going to level out like the air or register in your ears anytime soon. You stared forward at him, scared to look away, scared to break the hope that filled his eyes.

“Are you serious?”

“Yeah, I mean the idea is kind of all over the place, but think of it this way. My parents can’t choose my mate for me and you don’t have to deal with all of the assholes in the village that obviously aren’t good enough for you,” he explained, his hand drifting up to cup your face, “Plus, you want to stay, don’t you? No matter what happens you want to stay here with us, right? Like this, in this form?”

“Lo’ak.”

He was quiet for a moment, thumb softly bruising along your temple, gaze staring deep into yours. “We could be happy, Y/N. Just you and me.”

You found yourself studying the ground, suddenly feeling sick and like a complete mess as your mind somehow wandered to the one person that seemed to never leave it. Neteyam, the future Olo’eyktan. The very man who would have his Tsahik chosen for him by Mo’at and Eywa herself. The very man who would have the perfect match — a woman who was strong, incredibly smart, and a gifted healer. A Tsahik that was selfless and would provide for her people. That wasn’t you. You knew it. Lo’ak knew it. He hadn’t brought up Neteyam again but the hesitancy in your eyes, the anxious thoughts that had slipped from your tongue, he knew was because of his older brother. His older brother who was already spoken for.

“Lo’ak, where is this coming from?” you asked, hand reaching up to hold his wrist in your hand, a confused look on your face.

He was hesitant to answer, seen in the way, his eyes shifted to the sky behind you. You made a displeased noise and his eyes found yours again, a smile forming because you knew him all too well after so many years.

“We have been friends for a long time now. For seven years I've always been used to it being us and Kiri and Spider. But somehow even with everyone, we found time just for us. I don’t know, I guess I just feel like I don’t see you as much as I used to.”

“Yeah, well a couple of things are different now. Huge things,” You chuckled, hand reaching up to take his hand from your face, interlacing it in yours.

His eyes followed your movement and stared down at your large blue hand that fit suddenly so perfectly in his compared to your human one that had always felt so awkward. He had never been great at communicating the hard stuff or admitting when something was bothering him, so you knew this was his way of saying that he missed you. With all of the sudden changes, he was struggling with accepting them.

“I’m also not locked away in a lab anymore, I am here with you. Things are going to be different, Lo’ak but it doesn’t mean our friendship is going to change.”

“I guess I just am not used to sharing you,” he admitted, a flush appearing on his face and it made you realize exactly who he was referring to. Neteyam. “What, outsider and outcast together, you don't want that?"

You sighed, his joke not pulling enough strings in your heart to change your initial apparent feelings. You knew what Lo'ak thought and you knew that he wasn’t going to willingly drop this without you taking the time to fully contemplate it even if his intentions weren’t romantic. You inhaled, the depth enough to reach your core, as his warmly coated stare seemed to engulf you whole.

His attempts were not poorly identified, casted by his loyalty to you but his execution was suffocating you. Where he could be a consolation prize, you be only an entrapment for him. He deserved more than you. “Lo'ak wouldn’t you want to be mates with someone that you love though? I mean do you even feel that way about me?”

He ignored your question and somehow that was an answer in itself.

“Look, I am not worried about spending the rest of my life with someone I may not feel for as my parents do with each other. Because I know this, us — we could make it work. Do you know why I am so sure about that? Because we have been friends for so long and it wouldn’t be so bad. We could take care of each other, be just as we are now, and build a future for ourselves. And if that's what settling for a life with you, looks like, then I’ll take it,” he paused, voice lowering as a smile fell across his lips, “I would rather settle for that than go along with whoever my parents choose for me. Plus I want you to stay, Y/N.”

His words hit you like a ton of bricks and suddenly just as you thought everything had become so clear, so free from the downfalls of life, reality hit you again. It shifted and all of your problems returned led by an entirety of new ones. Because there's always a choice that has to be made; choose other people, choose to make them happy, or choose yourself even if there is no assurance that it'll all work out for you. Do you decide to take that risk?

Staring in the face of that question, it felt as if thousands of arrows were coming straight for you, its toxicity was inevitable and it would pierce into you, refusing to ever be pulled free from your skin. Yet, everything he said was so true, so undeniably true, but it all left you feeling uneasy for one reason only, one person only.

It was supposed to be a moment of relief, a moment where you were swelling with pride as you had completed Iknimaya. You were hours away from your ceremony with the people. The most important day of your entire life and one you had been thinking about for years. An accomplishment that would be encased in the back of your mind, as you were only the second dream walker to have ever done it.

It was supposed to be your moment but now because of this eclipse, this mountain, this ride — your moment would remain bittersweet, overclouded by Lo’ak’s proposal.

#avatar #avatarimagine #avatar way of water #neteyam x reader #writing #fanfiction #neteyam imagine #avatar imagine #avatar fanfiction #lo'ak imagine #lo'ak x reader #lo'ak fanfiction #neteyam fanfiction

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wolfythewitch · 17 days

Note

You have piqued my interest

How did cain become an avatar in the first place?

it's not really anything too remarkable. Riptides are very dangerous for young children and kids are always silent when they drown. Cain's home life wasn't that good anyway. lots of screaming. it was quiet underwater, once he realized he was going to die. the water was nice, deep, like he could sink forever. he wanted to stay there forever. and then he woke up on the beach, water in his throat and muffled ears

#they tend to scare mostly adults though #never the kids #starry-teacup #wolfy tedtalks #tma sona #drowning cw

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awakenedsalamander · 7 months

Text

Thinking about how vampirism in the World of Darkness isn’t just dehumanizing in the sense that it makes you a literal monster but also how the Embrace quite directly rips away some of the most meaningful parts of someone’s identity to make room for the Beast.

Like, the obvious examples here are Garou and mages, given that the former, when Embraced, become the aptly-named Abominations, who lose their connection to Gaia and the Umbra and find themselves forcibly aligned with the Wyrm, the force that they view as the most horrific and destructive thing in the world; and the latter have their Avatar, their connection to magic and possibility and understanding, utterly annihilated— their one guiding light extinguished and replace with an entity that is (except for probably in the case of widderslainte) more vicious and cruel than even the most harrowing Avatar.

It’s telling that the Embrace is thus reflective of something each group considers to be one of the worst fates imaginable: dancing the Black Spiral and undergoing Gilgul, respectively.

But that’s a lot of jargon and doesn’t really hit if you don’t know the details of those game lines— the haunting part is that the basic idea remains the same even for mortals.

I mean, it’s true that everyone, mortal or otherwise, has some degree of intrusive urges toward malicious behavior, but the Beast is just so much worse than that. To be Embraced is to straightforwardly die, to lose the essence that keeps you alive, and have it brought back in this twisted form— from now on, to live is to kill and the Beast will never let you forget it.

Sure, vampires still retain their old interests and passions. I’m personally not keen on the interpretation of Kindred as inherently not having things like empathy, creativity, or grief. I think they still feel compassion and curiosity and tranquility and love and all that… but always, lurking behind them, is the Beast.

And maybe I’m just being a self-serious edge-boi but that’s such an unnerving thought. To still care about the people around you, but never without something whispering about how much you need— deserve— their loyalty, their service, their deaths.

#wod #world of darkness #mage the ascension #werewolf the apocalypse #vampire the masquerade #vtm #cw existential horror #I guess existential horror anyway #I don’t know what else you call it #a really bad time

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azaleaniath · 1 year

Text

~ AO'NUNG X FEM!HUMAN!READER ~

human tsakarem

summary: after the battle, Parker Selfridge leaves his daughter with the humans that formed an alliance with the Na'vi. She grows up to become a scientist herself and moves to Awa'atlu to keep an eye on Kiri's health. There she meets Ao'nung who can't keep himself from being curious about her.

includes: guns, foul language, falling in love, insults, lil' dash of angst, arguments, mentions of death, rejection, courting, fluff, reader being a little brat, avatars

word count: 9.9k | SFW

A/N: OMG I've had this idea for a while now. I know some things don't make sense like being able to have a call from earth to pandora but just imagine it ok? Leave your thoughts below! Also if you see typos, blink. U didn't see anything, nuh-uh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The airship stood ready. Only a few humans were allowed to stay on Pandora and Parker Selfridge wasn't one of them. Neytiri's and Jake's eyes followed him as he stood in line, walking up to the airship with slow steps, his head hung low in shame and guilt. As he passed the couple, Jake had to hold his mate back from scratching his eyes out. It didn't stop Parker from walking up to them, barely finding the confidence to look them in the eyes.

"You know this isn't over?" he mumbled, but Jake didn't say anything. He only gestured him to board the ship. Parker swallowed heavily, turned to leave but ended up facing the tall couple again.

"Sully, I know I cannot ask this of you but... earth is no place for a child to grow up..." his voice was not much more than a whimper. Jake could see his wet eyes through his oxygen mask as he began to shake.

"She's all I have left, she's not responsible for my mistakes. I can't take her back with me, she's still too young for the cryo capsules. She will die, Jake."

For a second, the ex-marine's mask fell. He pursed his lips, closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"And you want me to take care of her?" Jake asked while Norm and Max approached as well.

Parker hesitantly nodded with his teeth clenched.

"I beg you..." he whimpered as shameful tears blurred his vision and his shaking intensified.

Neytiri didn't understand much of their conversation, yet she had figured out what he wanted. A man like him had only few to none weaknesses, but his daughter was one of them, probably the only one.

"I can't take her with me..." Parker whispered as more tears filled his eyes. Jake gave his two colleagues a questioning look and they shrugged.

"We're already looking after Miles, a playmate in his age can't hurt his evolution" Norm shrugged and Max copied his expression.

Jake only sighed and even Neytiri calmed down. Even if his daughter was a human, she was innocent. She couldn't hate a baby that had done no harm.

Parker's eyes switched to Norm, his shameful frown turned into a slight smile.

"You would take care of my little girl?" he asked for clarification, and the scientists agreed. What could one more human do after all?

~~~

It's been many years since that day where your father departed. He continued to live on earth, the planet that fell apart while you grew up on pandora. The scientists took good care of you even if they sometimes had the urge to simply throw you out into the wilds without your exopack. As you got older, Norm always shook it off as going through puberty while Max insisted on it being the genes of your father. An annoying teenager with a big mouth. A brat. An absolute pain in the ass, as the doctor liked to call it.

"Hey princess~" Miles, better known as Spider, sang from across the room, mocking you with one of the many nicknames your father gave you whenever he called from earth.

You looked up from the table you sat on, dropping the papers you held in one hand.

"Look, it's the monkey boy." you mumbled back unimpressed.

After all these years you had grown up like siblings, living together for all your life, but you wouldn't call him a friend. You two were way too different. Sometimes you even fought because of all the differences between the two of you.

He approached you with a grin, hiding something behind his back.

"I got you something!" Spider exclaimed as he took a seat on the table before you.

"How about you get yourself a detangling brush first?" you lifted one of his dreads with two fingers, dropping them to hit his face while your expression twisted in disgust.

Now it was Spider's turn to roll his eyes. "Good, then I'll keep it."

You crossed your legs and leant back against your chair, holding one hand out to him.

Spider crossed his legs too and dropped something into your hand. As you retrieved your hand you took a close look at the object he had placed in the palm of your hand.

"You gifted me... a piece of wood?"

"That's an arm ring! I've spent weeks carving it, you better be thankful."

With a confused look you tried it on but it slipped up to your elbow right away.

"Bit large, is it?" you scoffed, watching the wooden accessories dangle around your arm, checking how far it went up.

"You made me a collar, dude."

He only huffed and shook his head.

"I know what I made. Just wait, you'll see. Happy birthday you ungrateful brat." While Spider got up and left, probably to see the Sullys, you took a close look at the arm ring until Norm and Max walked in with a tablet.

They were currently on a call, so you didn't bother. Only when you heard your father's voice you sprung up and sprinted over to the two scientists, snatching the device from Norms grip, much to his dislike.

"Daddy?" an excited smile spread over your entire face, "can you hear me?"

You saw his visage on the monitor, he was dressed in one of his button shirts, as usual. Had you ever even seen him in other clothes anyways?

He had a little delay, but as soon as he saw your face in the camera his expression matched yours perfectly.

"Hey, my little princess, I'm sorry I couldn't call you earlier. Happy birthday sweetheart, how is my pretty girl doing?" he asked you as you sat down on your desk, leaning the tablet against a microscope.

You ignored the discussion about your audacious behavior between Max and Norm in the background and focused on the call with your father.

"Well, it would've been better if I would've gotten the cake that I specifically asked for!" The two scientists rolled their eyes as you raised your voice towards the end of your sentence, sending death glares to the two men who still argued how long it would take for Parker to come back to Pandora to kill them if they actually locked you out of the labs without your exopack.

"I'm sorry my dear darling, there must have been a misunderstanding. You'll get your cake, I- wait, what are you wearing, princess? What is that?"

Your father's look was struck with concern as he noticed your cropped tight shirt.

"Oh yeah, I cut it off. It's cool, right?"

You got up and spun around, but Parker only sunk his face into his hands.

"They let you run around like this? And your pants, what's this?"

"These are cargo shorts, dad. Calm down."

"Yeah shorts! They're too short! My princess, please put on some more clothing, will you?"

With a frown you looked down on yourself, not seeing an issue with your outfit.

"Good thing you're gonna have to change soon anyways."

You didn't understand why, until Norm and Max finally walked up to you after calming themselves.

"You know that you haven't been allowed to go to the med station, right? And now I can finally tell you why, my dear. Daddy organized for you to get your own avatar, isn't that cool? You get to connect with it and then you can go out and play!"

"Selfridge, we talked about that. It's dangerous out there, this is no playground." Max interfered, but Parker just shrugged while you squealed and cheered in excitement, clapping your hands while hopping on your chair.

"When do I get to try it out?! Can we go now? I can't wait to get outside without this annoying mask!" you asked Norm and he led the way.

"It's all ready and waiting for you."

~~~

You quickly got used to your avatar. The scientists weren't fine with the fact that you went outside in it alone, so you mostly snuck out without their knowledge getting scolded as soon as you returned, also by your father. He wanted you to live a happy and safe life on pandora. Sometimes you went out with Spider or the Sully kids, learning how to hunt and survive, but the Na'vi half breeds didn't take you in like they did with Spider. In the lab, you learned a lot about science. The older scientists taught you everything about all kinds of biological and medical knowledge. Even if you had a big mouth, they could at least work with you, and that made it a lot more bearable for them.

As the Sully's had to flee from their home and Spider was also missing, things changed for everyone. You still stayed in the lab until one day, your godfathers stormed in, telling you to pack up and get everything into the helicopter as soon as possible. He explained on the way to Awa'atlu what had happened and that Kiri needed medical help.

You were in your human body as you landed, jumped out of the helicopter and grabbed your med bag.

Many metkayina had gathered at the shore as the Samson landed. They were visibly terrified of the helicopter and, even more than that, afraid of Max and you since you both were humans.

Jake told his oldest son to keep everyone away while Lo'ak hurried over to you as well.

"Where is she?" you called out loudly, your voice fighting against the noises of the rotors. Lo'ak quickly lead the way, passing through the villagers which gave you all terrified or angry looks. They had been told that you were here to help but that didn't keep them from being frightened and yet curious.

You followed Lo'ak, making your way through the teal skinned giants as quickly as possible. Close to the marui that Kiri layed in someone blocked your path, gazing at you in curiosity. You looked up to the young metkayina man and clicked your tongue.

"Get your blue ass out of my way!" you snarled in perfect Na'vi, much to the boy's surprise. His blue eyes widened as he stared at you completely dumbfounded, jaw dropping as you pushed him away fiercly, leading him to stumble backwards.

His breath hitched at your touch. It was the first time in his life he had ever been in physical contact with a demon. There was something boiling up deep inside of him. No matter how much he wanted to murder those sky people, he was curious about your fierceness. He wanted to know more about you somehow. You were only a tiny little creature from another star and you still didn't seem to be scared of him the slightest. He blinked a few times, being completely perplexed by the fact that you just pushed him off and walked past him, the future olo'eyktan without the slightest bit of respect.

While Neytiri freaked out about her daughter you listened to Lo'ak who explained what had exactly happened to Kiri, so you got everything ready to run a few checks on the unconscious girl.

Soon, Norm in his avatar and Max rushed over too.

"Why did you bring this little missy anyways?! As if she's of any help!"

You heard Jake hiss, his fangs flashing.

"She has learned a lot, Jake. We taught y/n and believe it or not, she knows what she's doing." Norm answered, getting the equipment ready with you and the other scientist.

"Call me missy again and I'll sedate you, Sully." you growled while getting out more utensils from your back.

Jake watched you closely as you measured Kiri's blood pressure.

"Don't forget who I am. Without my father you'd still sit in that silly wheelchair. He payed your blue legs, remember that." you added, your eyes meeting his ones for a moment and he internally swore he'd kill you if you wouldn't be helping his daughter right now.

"Your father might be rich but that's not gonna help you here, so drop that attitude and do your thing!"

You simply rolled your eyes before refocusing on the unconscious Na'vi.

The three of you tried your best until Neytiri finally took matters into her own hands and Ronal, the metkayina tsahik worked her magic.

During that time, you decided to have a talk with Jake and your godfathers.

The problem was that they wanted someone to run test on Kiri regularly now, but they were both needed in the Hallelujah mountains. All eyes landed on you.

"Oh, and how exactly do you plan on doing this, smart heads?" you scoffed, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Max brought up the idea of bringing one of the link shacks over here, together with your avatar so you could take care of Kiri. The decision was made quickly and Jake went to ask Tonowari for green light, dragging you with him.

He led you through the village, the metkayina still stared at you in curiosity and angst. As you stood before the olo'eyktan you greeted him traditionally and in fluent Na'vi.

The tall man eyed you with curiosity as well, but spoke to you soon.

"You're a human tsakarem?" he asked, supporting himself on his staff.

"More or less. I'm a-" you thought about a way to translate it to him in Na'vi, "an explorer, a student. I learned about plants and animals, Na'vi too. I can heal people to a certain point too, yes."

He understood and nodded in silence while he mustered you closely. Next to him, two younger Na'vi appeared, also glancing at you, up and down.

One of them you had seen before, it was the guy that stood in your way earlier. His eyes especially drilled into your body.

The two of you tried to explain to the metkayina why they needed you here and how you had imagined it to work.

After careful consideration he allowed it and granted you to do as planned. It was the first time that their clan collaborated with a human, but if it was needed to ensure Kiri's safety he saw no other option.

During the entire negotiation, Ao'nung had circled you like a predator his prey but you weren't surprised. Bothered? Maybe.

~~~

Norm, Max and you went back home only to pack your things, prepare a link shack and bring it over within 24 hours. The three of you set everything up as quickly as you could.

Tonowari and Ronal watched the entire scene. Their daughter Tsireya had helped you carrying a few things into an empty marui where your avatar could rest properly.

Meanwhile their son Ao'nung was rather spooked by you which didn't keep him from annoying you. He stood next to his father but came closer to touch the link share for not much more than a second.

You watched him in confusion. 'As if my link shack is gonna kill him..' you thought and shook your head.

Lo'ak and Neteyam came to help you as well. As the younger brother passed you held him by his arm.

"Don't tell me that's the future olo'eyktan?"

Lo'ak huffed and nodded.

"Already beat him up with Neteyam some weeks ago. He's really a pain in the ass. Almost like you~" he teased.

"Like me?" you repeated in disbelief, raising your eyebrows at his words.

"You're both some offspring of men with influence, have a big mouth and you both have a problem with your attitude."

"One brat is already too much. Please don't befriend him, I can't even take one of you at a time." Neteyam chimed in before Tonowari called you, gesturing you to come closer and you did.

He had chosen his two children to help you get to know these lands better and shared that information with you, much to Ao'nungs disliking while Tsireya hoped to learn from you.

You turned on your heel, an unamused frown showing on your face before you called out to the brothers in english.

"You really had to jinx it, huh?!"

As your eyes wandered over to Tonowari's son, his gaze met yours. He was not happy about his father's decision but the knew that there was no point in arguing to he swallowed his protest and simply clicked his tongue.

Tsireya made her way over to you and kneeled so she was on eye level with you.

"How does this... thing work?" she asked, "what does it do?"

You mustered Tsireya from top to bottom. Even if she was still careful, Lo'ak seemed to be cool with you, and she trusted him.

"Come, come." With one hand you gestured her to follow you in, walking up the bright yellow metal stairs. The noise they made left Tsireyas ears twitching, but that didn't keep her from getting up, touching the iron stairs with her hand first before she followed with feather light steps. You held the door out for her and closed it as soon as she was in the airlock.

She didn't understand what you were doing as she crouched and observed how you pressed a few buttons.

"Don't get scared." you warned her with a monotonous voice. Before she could ask, a weird sound, too loud for her taste, filled the airlock and she could feel a windy breeze all around her body as she covered her ears.

You however took off your mask in relief and shook your hair a few times, taking in a very deep breath.

"Ahhh, this is so much better!" you cheered, running a hand through your hair.

The metkayina girl watched how you dropped yourself in your office chair, legs crossed.

"Look around, but don't touch anything."

The Na'vi did as you told and scanned the entire shack link. It was indeed rather small in here, but that explained why you were in your human body.

As you watched the ocean in the distance you took another deep breath. This was your new working place now. Far away from Max and Norm. From the forest, from everything you had known.

~~~

Tsireya was eager to learn from you to share her knowledge with her mother while Ao'nung circled you in silence. He often watched you through the window while you were working and he eventually grew more and more curious about all these devices. And about you too.

You got yourself a petri dish and marked it with a sharpie. Tsireya had brought you some local plants as samples so you could examine them closer. With one hand you adjusted your headphones that you wore during work. The cap of the sharpie was held by your teeth until you put it back onto the marker so it wouldn't dry out.

Once you placed the petri dish onto the table you turned to get yourself another petri dish as you looked up to a teal wall. Ao'nung towered you, blocking your way as he leaned over your shoulder to see what you where doing.

In panic you dropped the sharpie and raised your hands to rip off your headphones, shrieking loudly.

"How the fuck did you get in, idiot?! What are you doing here?!"

Ao'nungs eyes narrowed before he gestured towards the door. Sitting in your chair you were absolutely tiny next to his tall figure. You gulped as he came even closer but only to look past you and onto the table.

"I watched how you always get in. I'm supposed to be looking after you, remember?" he mumbled coldly before he straightened his back, hitting his head on the ceiling, causing the lamps to dangle around.

He hissed before he held his head and his empty gaze turned into a frown.

You clicked your tongue and facepalmed at his clumsiness, but it didn't stop there. As Ao'nung turned around he wiped half of your table with his thick tail, including the petri dish. The sound of glass shattering had you both flinching.

"Hey, careful!" you shouted at the man before he continued to check out the link shack. Your scent filled his airways and his pupils dilated. The sweet smell was everywhere, but apart from your desk it was strongest on your bunk bed and the link unit. With two fingers he poked into the silicone-like bedding of the link unit, slightly disgusted by the feeling. He got closer to the monitor next to it and accidentally turned the machine on with a few touches and presses as he tried to get a feeling for the material.

As soon as you were done cleaning the glass shards off of the floor and sorted the papers, books and other stuff from the desk back to where they belonged you charged after him.

"Stop fucking touching everything, god damn!" you hurried over to the link unit, squeezed yourself past Ao'nung and slammed the big red button to stop the machine from loading.

The boy only grunted and looked around some more, fumbling some objects in curiosity. You took a deep breath before exhaling with a loud frustrated yell, yet you silenced yourself as you heard your tablet ringing.

Too bad that Ao'nung stood closer to the device and grabbed it at the wierd noises it made. The screen showed something he couldn't read and two big circles.

"No, Ao'nung, you give me that right now! I swear if you press the green button-"

Before you could end the sentence he had done exactly what you told him not to do, just to see what would happen. There must have been a reason for your pale face as soon as the tablet made these alarming noises.

"Hey my pretty- y/n? Y/n?! Who is this, where is my daughter?!"

Ao'nung watched the tiny human that showed up on the display closely, baring his teeth at his foreign language and his aggressive tone.

"Dad, don't worry, I can hear you, I'm all good."

"Who is this savage!? What is he doing in your link shack, princess!?" Ao'nungs tail whipped angrily as your father got louder.

"He's a mess, daddy, that's what he is. Can you hang up and I call you back later?" you groaned as the metkayina boy growled, his fangs peeking out from between his lips more. Parker was completely confused what this indigenous boy did in your link shack and why he could only hear you but not see you.

"Are you alright? My sweetheart, please don't tell me you found yourself one of these indigenous monkeys!?"

Instantly you felt your face heating up at his words.

"Dad, no- what? No, he's supposed to be teaching me but right now he's just turning my shack upside down- I'll call you later, it's a long story. Can you please hang up? I can't reach my tablet cause this dumbass took it!"

The metkayina only growled louder and puffed his chest, tapping around on the screen wildly and ended the call accidentally. It probably was better anyway.

"Who is this demon?!He's not one of your people, is he?" he barked and dropped the device, you caught it in the last second before it could fall onto the ground.

As soon as you put the tablet away you grabbed the end of Ao'nungs queue and dragged him towards the airlock with all your force. He hissed in pain but gave in. Once you had gotten him into the airlock you sprinted back in and barricaded the metal door as quickly as you could. With one arm you supported yourself against your desk, panting quietly.

"Get out right now! You've messed up enough, idiot!" Ao'nung sent a deadly gaze through the window, still growling in fury. His ears tilted flat against his head and he turned on his heel and left in frustration. You held your forehead with one hand and sunk your face into your palm.

'Great... How do I explain this to my dad.."

~~~

Ao'nung wasn't allowed to get into your shack ever since. Tsireya on the other hand came around often, sometimes even for hours. You learned from each other, about the local plants and animals. Both of you were fascinated with the knowledge of each other and you took notes about everything, sometimes with Norm on the line to exchange some informations directly. You checked on Kiri every now and then, taking her blood tests and scans as Max had taught you.

Sometimes your father called too, to see how you were doing.

"You're telling me that Spellman and Dr. Patel took your link shack and avatar to an island far away to study there and take care of Augustine's daughter?!" Everytime you remembered his words, you pursed your lips and facepalmed yourself mentally. At least all of this left you with more freedom since you could come and go home whenever you wanted and work until the early morning without the scientists scolding you.

You walked through the village with a few leafs you had collected for research, passing your avatar's marui in the village. For a second you froze as you heard a familiar voice from inside.

"What is this?" you heard Ao'nung mumble, so you decided to take a peek in. He crouched next to your avatar and examined it closely. He held your arm up to check your hand closely. "Four fingers and a thumb, like the Sullys..."he mumbled to himself and compared your hand to his own. With crossed arms you watched him mustering your body curiously, fumbling with your tail.

"Baby tail..." he huffed, shaking his head with a grin that was hidden to you since you faced his back.

This was your chance.

Silently stepping backwards until you were out of range you turned around and sprinted to your link shack.

He lifted one of your avatar's lids. Yellow irises, like he had expected. As he let go, he noticed that your eye stayed open. "Oh, shit!" he whispered in panic, carefully trying to lower your lid. Both of his hands were held up and he prayed that he didn't break anything. A cold shower ran down his back, hoping that your eye stayed close.

He was about to run off quickly but you were quicker and ripped both eyes open, grabbing his wrists tight.

Ao'nung screamed, eyes wide open himself. As he tried to pull his arms away he lost his balance and fell onto his back. Once you let go of him he crawled as far away as possible until his back met the wall of your marui.

He felt a drop of sweat rolling down his forehead while his chest was heaving, jaw to the floor.

You sat up, unable to hold your laugh at his ridiculous look.

"You-" some more laughs escaped yoir lips, "you should see yourself!"

Ao'nung wasn't amused at all. He tried to calm and collect himself, returning to his usual cold gaze before he simply got up and left. Still laughing out loudly until your belly ached you followed him to the shore.

"Very funny, y/n." his eyes rolled at his own words.

"Why didn't you just tell me you wanted to see me in my avatar?" you giggled, holding one hand on your belly, but Ao'nung didn't even look at you.

"How could I? You locked me out of your demon box."

"Demon box?" you repeated in amusement, "more like 'your rage room'"

He had never heard that before but it was pretty self explanatory, even to him. With a loud call he had an ilu coming his way and he signalled you to get closer.

"My turn to have fun. Get on."

You huffed as the ilu rose it's head out of water, greeting you with a few fin slaps on the surface.

The look on his face told you that he wasn't joking around.

"I've never done this-"

"I know. But you are here to learn, so get on."

As the lesson ended, Ao'nung was indeed the one to laugh, much to your dislike. Yet it had fascinated you to learn about Awa'atlu. The animals, the ocean, the metkayina culture and also about Ao'nung. There was something about him that worked like a magnet on you.

~~~

As the weeks and months went by in no time, you found yourself spending a lot of time with him as well. He thought that, in your human form at least, he was always five steps ahead of you, but your big mouth and attitude easily kept up with his despite being half his size.

Like every day you sat on your desk, examining more plants. Ao'nung had gathered them at the bottom of the reef for you since he could hold his breath longer than you.

It was a pretty wholesome gesture. It felt like getting a bouquet of flowers. Many times you had woken up to some new samples in the airlock of your shack, but he was too proud to tell you that he had brought them. His sister on the other hand had shared this information with you.

A loud knock made you straighten your back and look to the door. Ao'nungs face was showing through the window next to the airlock, so you raised your hands and shoulders as to ask what he wanted. He pointed at a fish he held, so you decided to roll your chair back and grabbed your exopack to meet him outside.

Being the impatient brat he was, he opened the outer door and stepped into the airlock.

"You're not getting in here ever again!" you called out and gestured him to get back out, but he didn't listen. He pressed a button to his right which filled the small cabin with oxygen and opened the inner door.

"What did I tell you about my shack?!" you barked and blocked his way with the door and your petite body.

"Let me in."

You leaned against the door as he tried to push it open, but it didn't help much, you had no chance against him.

"I'm not touching anything."

"You better not, moron."

With that you closed the door behind him and walked over to your medical equipment, loading a tranquilizer gun, just in case. You quickly wrapped the belt with the gun holster around your waist, closing the buckle on the side.

Ao'nung placed the fish on a metal table on a corner as you turned back to him.

"My sister, uhm... she told me to bring you this." he muttered, scratching his neck with one hand, looking around to ensure he wasn't touching anything again.

"Your sister?" your brows furrowed with a sceptical look on your visage. "I didn't know she goes hunting too?"

"She doesn't but... i think she said she got it from one of the hunters."

Lying wasn't his stronghold.

You leaned against your desk and looked back to the bright colored fish before the corners of your lips curled up and your eyes softened.

"Then tell this random hunter that I am forever thankful for this rare, exquisite sample."

Ao'nungs eyes were gleaming in happiness, no matter how hard he tried to play it cool. His wagging tail betrayed him.

"Noted."

"This is the first time i get to see this species with my own eyes. Whoever caught it must me a mighty hunter. Well, too bad it wasn't you." you grinned, then crossed your arms.

Ao'nungs ears turned to you with his mouth agape before his eyes narrowed again.

"As if I care that much about you."

Awkward silence fell upon the two of you as you observed each other closely. In order to change the subject the young man cleared his throat, looking around your shack.

"What were you doing there?"

He pointed at the microscope and leaned in a bit, supporting himself on his knees. As you looked down to the desk you decided to take a seat, then waved him over to you. Ao'nung came closer and looked at the microscope as you leaned against the lenses, correcting the settings so the blurry image became clear.

You retreated and leant back into the chair, pulling the tranquilizer gun from it's holster.

"Look through here. But don't touch anything or I'll shoot a dart into your blue ass that will put you to sleep within seconds, you get that into your smooth brain?"

Ao'nungs eyes widened as you held the gun up to him, so he lifted his hands to his shoulders as if he would surrender.

He did as you told him to, examined the piece of tissue with an open mouth.

"What is that?" he mumbled, observing the structure of the cells he could see for the first time in his life.

"We call it microscope. Anything looks thousands of times bigger under there. I'm sure I could almost see your brain with that thing." you huffed, lowering the gun a bit as you noticed Ao'nung holding still and completely losing himself in the complex cell pattern.

He stared for quite a while before you got another sample from the fridge and switched the glass slides.

"These are the corals that someone got me two days ago."

He carefully supported his hands on the desk and you could see him smile at your words. Over the next thirty minutes you showed him some of the rarest and most unique samples you had collected over the last months. Neither of you would've thought that this actually interested him. Or was he just interested in what you were doing? Ao'nung himself couldn't tell.

"These look incredible..." he mumbled as you showed him the tissue he had gathered from an akula. How had he even done this? Nobody but him knew.

"The rich and wealthy demon brat actually has something interesting to show, huh?" he mocked and moved away from the microscope to which you only smirked and held the gun up to his neck for a second before lowering it again with a quiet laugh.

Your mind wandered off for a moment, forehead creasing at your thoughts.

"Why did you feel the need to disobey my orders and come in here?"

You asked, to which his expression softened for a second.

"I can't take you seriously with that weird mask. Looks stupid on you."

You couldn't help but frown, before he added something that actually caught you offguard.

"I prefer to see your full face like this."

A lump was stuck in your throat. It was the first time the na'vi actually made you an honest compliment.

"Ao'nung..." you mumbled in mental absence, your eyes fell on his lips for a second and he noticed, his ears tilted and his tail whipped around once. Luckily it only hit the underside of the table, which ripped you out of your trance for a moment.

"Wow, who could've guessed you can actually be nice, Ao'nung."

He didn't know what to say or do in this situation since his words surprised himself. Never had he thought he would grow fond of a human, not to talk about a human that aimed a tranquilizer gun at him.

You noticed how his chest was already starting to heave. All this time in here he had only breathed oxygen. Of course his lungs were well trained but he still started to struggle due to the adrenaline rushing through him. You too felt your heart pounding in your chest, up to your throat.

"Actually, no. You still look ridiculous, even without the mask." With that his usual expression returned. He'd rather tease you than to be in this weird situation and admit that you were on his mind constantly.

You stood up from the chair and tried to make yourself as tall as possible before him, gun in hand.

"pretty brave words for a fish face, now get out of my lab before I send you to earth."

~~~

Ao'nung held his promise and came by the next day, and the next, and it repeated itself every day for months. He had gotten you more fishes, grasses, shells, crustaceans and flowers. You didn't even know where to put them, but it had turned in some kind of ritual. Anything he found he brought to you, and now that he was even allowed in your shack again you often found a bunch of collected goods from all around, also his mother's ointments at your desk.

Sometimes you even woke up to him kneeling in front of the microscope, inspecting your samples or watching and listening to your video logs, even if he didn't understand your mother language. Who could've thought he'd get so obsessed with your work?

By now he had gotten familiar with your devices ans spent so much time around that he had to wear a mask as well for a few deep breaths here and there, that was all he needed.

As you got out of your bed and walked over to the young man he was already crouching in front of the desk, looking through the microscope.

"Don't you have to complete your iknimaya, smooth brain?" you asked mockingly while fixing your hair.

Aonung looked over to you with a cocky grin.

"Right, other than you I don't inherit my wealth, I work for it."

"Says the clan leader's son." you huffed with rolling eyes.

Ao'nung copied your expression before looking back to through the lenses.

"Ao'nung, can we talk?"

He didn't like the sound of your voice. His stomach turned at what you had just said, ears flat against his head.

As he looked up to you with narrowed eyes he could feel his heart rate quicken.

With one hand you flipped a switch on the microscope and turned it off before you took a deep breath.

"See, I'm happy you're helping me. Without you I would've never gotten all these informations, but it's getting... out of hand. It's too much. I have no storage space for all the samples you're bringing me. I appreciate it but please, tone that down."

Something about him visibly changed. His look turned all serious, a hint of disappointment reflected in his blue eyes.

"I understand..." he mumbled in a cracking voice once the big lump was gulped down, after which he got up and left your lab without another word. His head hung low as he dragged himself out and away, not looking back once.

You had expected it to be an unpleasant conversation, but Ao'nung acted as if you had just filed for divorce.

You quickly got into your avatar and went out to look for him, but he was nowhere to be found. As Tsireya and Lo'ak saw you searching for her brother they walked up to you, asking if you needed help and you quickly explained the situation.

Lo'ak earned a smack against his stomach as he huffed while you didn't understand what was happening.

She lead you into the marui she shared with her family as they where all gone. Lo'ak followed you and sat down with the two of you.

Tsireya didn't know how to say it or even where to start to Lo'ak took it into his own hands.

"You said you told him that you didn't want his gifts?"

You sighed and shook your head.

"I told him it's... too much. I don't know where to put all these things."

The girl took a deep breath and took your nervous hands into her own ones.

"You're not really that much acquainted with... courting rituals, are you?"

Her question had you blush slightly, cheeks tinted in a violet veil. A few blinks later you stammered a needlessly long version of a no, so she shifted her position a bit, trying to find the right words.

"So, if a male Na'vi is interested in a female, he goes hunting for her and brings her food. Now, since you're mostly in your human body and most things are inedible for your kind, i think he brought you some other rare things you value."

Speechless as you where you only continued to blink in silence, nervously biting onto your lower lip.

"He's trying to court you and rejecting his gifts, it's pretty bad. Ao'nung got himself into a lot of trouble for all the things he brought you, even father has argued with him already. But he took your words as a rejection, which in our culture translates to 'I don't value your life'. It's almost as bad as mating with someone else."

Now it all made sense.

You couldn't say anything for what felt like an eternity.

The inner corners of your eyes began to burn and soon, your vision blurred.

"Hey, you couldn't know, it's alright." Loak mumbled, placing a hand on your shoulder. Neither you nor him knew that you could be so weak and it was the first time that you felt this stinging pain in your chest. It hurt, but you were sure that Ao'nung was feeling much worse.

"We need to find him." Tsireya mumbled and got up, gathering a few friends to look for her brother before anything could happen to him.

~~~

It was already past eclipse and Ao'nung still wasn't back. Slowly but surely you got seriously worried about him. His friends had lead the party of you all to a few spots he liked to hang out at, but he was nowhere to be found.

Even his father helped searching eventually. As you paired up with him you apologized to the olo'eyktan for causing this trouble, but he wasn't mad at you the slightest. He knew that his son had never shown interest in anyone. He had rejected many pretty young women in the clan before, but you where the first one to -accidentally- reject him. In fact, he was happy to see him spending time with you after all. Ao'nung seemed to warm up a bit since he visited you on a daily basis and he eargerly talked about the things that he had learned from a human tsakarem. That was what they referred to you, as the clan leader had told you.

As you came back to the village empty handed you apologized to Tonowari once again for causing all this trouble. Your heart still ached in regret. Why hadn't you thought about these cultural differences before?

Your attention quickly got drawn to a few calls and cheers from the villagers and you quickly sprinted over to the gathered people. Making your way through them, your eyes landed on Ao'nung. His head was hanging low, his eyes were puffy and reddened.

You called out for him in relief, but he didn't look at you. He couldn't. His heart was still aching terribly. He was utterly disappointed and devastated.

Instead of looking at you he quickly turned away and walked home.

"I'll talk to him." Tonowari offered with a hopeful smile that settled the storm inside of you at least to a certain point.

~~~

The following day you did not wake up to any samples. No gifts and no Ao'nung.

It felt like something was missing.

You couldn't help but feel empty. All the money and the power you had always relied on had lost all it's worth. You remembered the day Spider had gifted you the carved arm ring he had made for your avatar.

"Happy birthday you ungrateful brat." you remembered his words exactly. He was right. You had been ungrateful, until you met Ao'nung. He had literally gifted you grass, rocks, leaves and it always made you smile from ear to ear.

Without him, work wasn't half as much fun.

He wasn't even watching you through the window anymore but instead tried to distract himself with hunting and preparing for his iknimaya.

You had told Max and Norm about it as well and they could tell that something about you, no, a lot about you had changed. You trained to become a real scientist and on top of that, you slowly became an adult. It was the right decision they had sent you here, even though these lonely days turned into weeks and by now, you couldn't even tell how long it was, but a long time passed in which you and Ao'nung did not speak one word.

Your head rose quickly as you heard heavy footsteps coming up the metal stairs. You couldn't believe your eyes as you saw Ao'nung coming through the airlock without a word. The look on his face concerned you, no matter how happy you were that he had returned to you.

"I knew you'd come back, all men do." you grinned in order to get him to tease you back like he always did, but he only grunted and sat down in a corner, in silence.

He just came back here after all this time and acted so weird all of a sudden. First he was spooked by you, then he liked you, tried to court you, ignored you and now he just came here without saying a word?

Confurion grew inside of you as he didn't respond to your teasing but only dropped himself into a corner, back hitting against the wall with his head back.

The your face relaxed a bit as you mustered him. He only closed his eyes and supported his hands on his shaking knees.

"Ao'nung? Are you okay?"

Still, he didn't respond.

His expression twisted at your voice as if his head was aching, and it did.

You swallowed before you walked over to him.

"Want me to sit with you?" This time your voice was a bit more quiet. The metkayina exhaled heavily and patted the floor next to him so you decided you sit next to him, legs crossed.

A good while passed like this. Just sitting next to each other in silence.

As you turned your head up to him he didn't react either.

"Ao'nung, what I did, I didn't mean-"

"Don't." he interrupted, raising a hand to signal you to stop talking.

"I don't want to hear a word about this stupid topic."

His voice was not much more than a breath and it seemed that these words weren't rolling off his tongue that easily.

"Your father..." he started after a long time, "he is... some kind of leader, right?"

As an answer you nodded slowly, so he asked another question.

"Does he have high expectations from you?"

A hard question.

"Well, in some kind. He doesn't like that I live amongst your race. He'd rather see me working for RDA. Wear fancy clothes and sit neatly at my desk, filling out confusing papers with overpriced pens, being the face of a huge company, ordering people around."

Ao'nung huffed, a slight smile crawled up on his face.

"Maybe we have more in common than you think..." he murmured under his breath, but in this silence his voice was still pretty audible.

"Did you have a fight with your father again?"

"Why do you think im here, the only place he never visits?"

You couldn't help but fake a mad expression.

"So my lab is only some hiding place for you, huh?"

As soon as your sentence had ended, he carefully poked his elbow into your arm and the smile on his face widened.

Again, silence fell upon you two.

After some deep breaths, the young man's voice disturbed this silence once more.

"I like being here. It's...calm."

"Yeah, if you don't run around like a wild thanator."

His ears turned at you remark and soon you felt his hand smacking your knee, causing a synched huff from both of you.

"You're not attempting to walk the path your father wants you to take, do you?" Ao'nung asked.

"Of course not. I think everybody should do whatever makes them happy. Fuck the 'rules', there are none. Only one self can decide what they want to do. That counts you in, smooth brain."

A warm smile appeared on his face, his eyes glistened with something you had never seen before. In your words he had found new hope. He was more motivated than ever to follow his heart, no matter what his parents said. He allowed himself to dream for a moment, to imagine what gteat things the future could hold for him and you.

~~~

Instead of spending most time in the shack you went to the village more often, adapting to the other na'vi and also the sea creatures. By now, Ao'nung had properly taught you how to ride an ilu and even introduced you to his spirit brother tulkun. You learned more about the sign language, about swimming and hunting, about their sacred rituals and everything these people had to offer.

During the day the young man rarely left your side. While hunting he always looked out for you. You enjoyed your life, and you wouldn't trade it against anything. Yet you had to return to your cabin every night. It was exhausting to switch between the two bodies, so you made a decision.

"I want you to transfer my soul into my avatar."

Ronal couldn't believe her ears. Ao'nung dropped his bowl of food instantly and stared at you with huge eyes. Tsireya was looking for words, and even Tonowari was completely speechless.

"Say that again." the tsahik whispered in disbelief, so you repeated "I want you to transfer my soul into my avatar. My conciousness, my spirit, however you might call it."

The tsahik looked towards her husband, shaking her head slowly.

"You can't be serious?!" Ao'nung blurted out while Tsireya still tried to process what you had just exclaimed while having dinner with them.

"Sully managed so I can do it too." Your voice was all calm since you had pondered this idea for some time already. Then you wouldn't have to run around with your exopack anymore and you could live amongst the metkayina. Become one of them. Finally have a place where you belonged to and the freedom to find a man.

The son stormed over to you and shook your shoulders as if he was trying to wake you up from a fever dream.

"This is dangerous! You might die!"

"Guess what smooth brain, i'm a scientist, I know."

Tonowari tapped the tips of his fingers together slowly, repeating your words in your head.

"Why would you want this?!" Ao'nungs face was on the thin line between angst and fury.

"What about your work, your lab, your father?!"

"It is what I want. I alone have the right to make this choice. It's stressful to switch and my human body is just not suited for this world. And since i don't intend to return to earth, I might as well become one of you."

Ao'nung pulled you up to your feet and dragged your avatar out of his family's marui in order to talk to you alone.

As soon as there was enough distance he faced you, grabbing your head with both hands. You whined at his unpleasant touch, but he couldn't help himself. His blue eyes darted straight into your golden ones, lips trembling, his entire body shaking in frustration.

"Why the hell do you want to do this?! What if you die?!" He spat with wild eyes.

"Then you better make sure to bring the prettiest flowers to my grave or I might haunt you. And visit me at the spirit tree-"

"You think this is funny?!"

You had never seen him in this state of fury but you had expected such reaction.

"Ao'nung, it's my life and my choice. You can't stop me."

He couldn't believe how by eywa you could stay so calm. His chest was heaving, blood ferociously rushing through his veins.

"This is madness, y/n!"

"I am a human in an incubated na'vi halfbreed body on a planet somewhere far away from earth where people and animals can literally connect their nerves to each other and you're telling me this is madness?"

He didn't know it was even possible but he got even more frustrated and enraged.

"For what reason y/n, what's it worth to put yourself through this?!"

Your face softened, lips forming a sweet smile as you stared into his bitter eyes.

"You."

Ao'nung swallowed hardly and his tilted ears stood up for a second. All his anger had dissolved, but only for a brief moment before he turned bitter again.

"Y/N... you can't be serious."

"Of course I am. Tsireya told be that you had some arguments with your parents about me. That you can't choose me as a woman. Don't you want to be with me? You must've thought about it as w-"

"Shut up." He growled.

His hands let go of you abruptly. He couldn't look you in the eyes for much longer, it pained him to see you as his thoughts formed into words.

"Of course I did. I dreamed about this for so long, but that's all it will ever be. A dream."

His words tore your heart into pieces, shattering all the pictures you had already painted out. Your breath hitched and you pulled both hands up to your chest.

"You know that this is not true. We can find a way-" you whispered into the air before he interrupted.

"Your 'way' is not an option. Which means there is no way."

Ao'nung took a deep breath and walked a few steps, only to come back to you.

"I'm not discussing my choice with you. I will talk about this with the tsahik." You mumbled quietly.

"If the great mother would've wanted you to be one of us she would have made you one of us!" his words were so loud that the distance between you and his family's marui didn't matter anymore. The entire village had probably hears him screaming into the night.

You slowly shook your head as he was done yelling.

"If the great mother doesn't want me to be one of you, she will let me feel that. You are not tsahik."

"Right, I'm the future oloeyktan! You should obey to what I say!"

He tried to calm himself but failed miserably. His fangs were bared, ears flicking angrily and his tail whipped around in fury.

"I thought you wanted to be more than a status..."

Here you ended the conversation and parted ways with him for today.

~~~

History repeated itself. Some days of not talking to each other at all followed, as well as him showing up to your shack.

He didn't apologize for his words, he simply walked in and sat down the same spot as always. Nothing in this village happened without his knowledge so he was already aware that you had talked to his mother and after a long consideration and deep talks with her husband she had agreed to your request. The ceremony was supposed to happen tonight so you had cleaned out your lab as you wouldn't be using it as much anymore.

You had called your father so he could see you one last time. He did everything but approve.

"Don't you dare! I will not allow this, are you mad?! What weird stuff did you smoke out there? These freaks clouded you brain! Don't tell me you're doing this for this boy?"

His words meant nothing to you. Either he accepted or not, but it didn't change your mind one bit.

"You really want to do this?" Ao'nung mumbled while you leaned against your desk, arms crossed.

"I will do this."

"You're pretty dumb for being such a smart girl, you know that?"

You only huffed and relaxed your arms before Ao'nung got up onto his feet again and made his way over to you. Both of his hands gripped around your waist and lifted you up to sit on the desk.

Your breath hitched at his actions and you couldn't help but blush madly. Not just your face but your entire body heated up as the metkayina came dangerously close to you, cupping your face with gentle hands unlike last time.

His blue eyes stared right into your soul before they fell onto your soft lips.

"Once the ritual starts, there is no return. Either your soul will transfer or..."

"Ao'nung, I will make it. Then I am one of your people." you flashed a wide smile at him.

"You are not just going to be one of us, y/n. You will also be mine."

He decided to waste no more time talking and let his actions speak, crashing his lips on top of yours. Instantly melting into the kiss you threw your arms around his neck, feeling your stomach toss and turn while he closed the gap between himself and your petite body completely, holding you close to his bare torso.

Both of you had longed for this for what felt like an eternity. In you he had found someone so different and yet so similar. No matter what you did, you fascinated him in every way. You actually managed to handle his ego and his rough personality, but he could also be vulnerable around you.

~~~

Ao'nung himself had carried your human body towards the cove of ancestors on his ilu where the ritual was taking place. He was praying to eywa that you would return from the eye of the great mother. Max and Norm had also shown up to the ritual, the Sully's too as well as the metkayina. Ronal and Tonowari stood next to each other, their daughter Tsireya right by their side as the ceremony was prepared.

The young man placed a last kiss onto your head before he had to let go of you and leave to the depths of the water as the spirit tree grasped out to you with it's strings, pulling you below the water surface until they were wrapped all around your body and your entire vision went black. All sounds were silenced.

No words were able to describe what you went through. What felt like an eternity probably went by in the shortest time before you were able to open your eyes again. A familiar face was right in front of you, holding your cheeks carefully. As soon as you detached from the spirit tree, you felt a pair of strong arms help you back up to the surface where you coughed out some swallowed water.

Before looking down on your own body your golden eyes searched for your human form which was completely covered from all these watchful eyes, deep below the surface. People cheered as your arms fell around the metkayina boy in front of you who pressed your dripping body against his shaking self. Some hysterical laughs escaped from both of you as you realized that the ritual had worked. Your chest was heaving in the tight embrace with the boy. His hands wrapped around your body as if he never wanted to let go of you again.

He pressed his relieved smile into your shoulder, still breathing out a few huffs in disbelief. As he felt your strong heartbeat, his own heart was pounding in excitement. Both your hands reached around his head only to pull him away from your shoulder gently to take a look at his visage. You got lost in each other's eyes, surrounded by luminous freckles all over your faces.

His thumbs traced over your blushed violet cheeks before you pressed your forehead to his.

"I see you, ma y/n." he whispered quietly and full of love.

"I see you, mao'nung."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

taglist: @luvlykrispy @zatarias-pandora @vviolaswrld @yeosxxx @lilgurlbeoncrack @philiasoul @itszzmoon @simp4ff @itsnotme02 @et-j-art @lovekeeho

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makoodles · 1 year

Note

Soooo I dunno if ur up for it but can we get a continuation of the baby fever thing where tsu'tey and s/o adopt spider but now it's in the future kinda like pre avatar 2 where spider is a teenager. Nothing angsty I just wanna read how Tsu'tey teaches spider things and spider calls him dad and spider finally getting that family love (I would literally die for this little boy I- *explodes*)

this is called having no self control btw! this was meant to be a 500 word drabble lol, but since you all love dad!tsu'tey so much, here we go!

continuation of baby fever

part one

pairing: tsu'tey x human fem reader

word count: 1.8k

warnings: none!

tags: fluff, dad!tsu'tey, adopted spider, pregnancy mention

"Dad, you're drawing them on crooked!" Spider complains, leaning away from his hands.

Tsu'tey frowns, looking down at his work. "They are not crooked."

"They are! Look!"

The stripes that Tsu'tey has painted onto Spider's fragile human skin upon his insistence do not looked crooked to Tsu'tey's eye, but he squints closer at them anyway.

"They look fine to me, maitan." He says with a sigh, dipping his fingers back into the paint dye and finishing up on the last stripe he had been working on. "Look at my stripes - they are not perfectly even."

Spider grumbles, but goes quiet as he darts a look at Tsu'tey's stripes. Seeing proof that Tsu'tey's stripes are not perfectly symmetrical seems to be enough to soothe him, at least for the moment.

When the kelku entrance rustles, Tsu'tey does not need to turn around to know that it's you. He knows you by the sound of your footsteps and the way your hands coast so softly over the broad expanse of his shoulders.

"Hello, boys," You murmur, leaning in to press a kiss to Tsu'tey's cheek. His ears twitch happily, and you move back to avoid getting hit with one, "Oh, Spider. The stripes again? That stuff is so hard to wash off-"

"That's the point, ma." He says, craning his head around to look at you. "I want it to last. I'm faster when I've got the stripes."

"Finished." Tsu'tey murmurs, clasping his son's shoulder before pushing himself to his feet.

Spider stands too, and Tsu'tey looks down at him thoughtfully. The stripes are a little jagged, though there's no way that Tsu'tey will ever admit that. More than anything, his attention catches on how grown Spider has become. He is still small, only reaching Tsu'tey's navel, but he has grown taller than you. His shoulders have broadened, growing thick with muscle from his long days running and playing with Na'vi children. It has always been more difficult for him to keep up, but the result of his tenacity is the impressively defined musculature at such a young age.

"We are going fishing, yawntutsyìp." Tsu'tey says to you, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "We will be back soon."

"I'll catch you a big one, ma." Spider adds, pushing masked face into your neck in a hug before bouncing away.

"Did you see!" Spider is still enthusing about his catch the whole walk back to the village.

"I saw." Tsu'tey confirms. The woven basket with their catch is slung over his shoulder, and a content sort of smirk is playing around his mouth as he watches Spider bounce over the tree roots.

"It was huge, and I nearly missed it but then I managed to hit it right as it darted out from behind those big rocks-"

"It was very impressive." Tsu'tey intones, reaching out to ruffle at Spider's hair.

Spider is still grinning, flying high on the success of his mini hunt. "I told you that the stripes made me faster!"

Tsu'tey lets out a rumbly sort of laugh, letting his hand drop from the top of Spider's head to the back of his neck and letting it rest there. His son is growing older, becoming a man, and yet he is still so small under Tsu'tey's hands. He feels a flare of vicious protectiveness deep in his chest, but that's nothing new.

"It was a very good catch, maitan." He murmurs, squeezing lightly at Spider's shoulders.

Spider looks down at his feet as he skips over another exposed tree root. "Do you think I'll be a good hunter?"

Tsu'tey tilts his head, and catches at Spider's bicep as he slips on moss. Once he is sure that he's stable on his feet, he releases his arm and pats him on the back.

"Yes. You have a good teacher." He bares his teeth at Spider in a grin, and gets a little smile in return. "But even if your talents do not lie in hunting, that will be okay. No matter what your skills are, I will be proud of you, my boy."

Spider's cheeks redden, but he smiles back all the same. The corners of his eyes crinkle just like yours do, and Tsu'tey's heart swells at the similarity between the two of you. His precious little family.

When they enter the village, you're waiting by one of the cookfires. You're fiddling with a couple of beads, and Tsu'tey recognises that you're weaving together a hair decoration.

"Yawntu," Tsu'tey calls as he approaches with Spider at his hip. "Look at what our son caught."

Spider takes the basket from him and bounds forward, grinning wide behind his mask as he proffers it at you. You make a big show of oohing and ahhing as you look into the basket, looking very impressed indeed.

"What big fish," You say. "These could feed the whole village for days!"

It had taken Tsu'tey quite some time to learn how to read the body language of Sky People, but even he can see how pleased Spider is. If he had a tail, it would be swishing wildly.

"I'm gonna go show Lo'ak." Spider says with a grin. "He couldn't catch anything yesterday! Jake isn't as good a teacher, I guess."

"Spider." You scold, giving him a look.

"Go, show Lo'ak." Tsu'tey encourages. "Make sure that Jakesully sees too. Show him that my son is a fine hunter."

"Tsu'tey!" You chide, delivering a smack to his thigh.

Spider just laughs, before taking the woven basket and running with it deeper into the village towards the Sully's kelku. Tsu'tey watches him go, before turning to you with a smug little grin.

"Ma'yawntutsyìp," He murmurs, leaning forward and pressing his forehead into yours. "He did well. He is growing skilled."

You cup the back of his head with one hand, scratch at his head with your little fingers. He lets his eyes slide shut lazily as he enjoys the feeling of your warm body so close to his after a hunt. He drops his head further into the cradle between your shoulder and neck and nuzzles there.

"I do not like him hanging around with Jakesully's children," He murmurs, his voice muffled in your throat. "There are many other children in the village."

"Oh stop," You mumble, your fingers massaging at his scalp, "They’re good kids."

"Neteyam is like Neytiri. Sensible." He grunts into your skin. "But Lo’ak is like Jakesully. He will get Spider into trouble."

"Oh, Tsu'tey." You sigh in that way you usually do when you think he's being dense. "They're both good kids. Besides, he's not really going to show Lo'ak anyway. He's going to show Kiri."

His brow furrows. "Kiri? She has no interest in fishing."

You sigh again, although this time you seem a little more amused. "I seem to remember you showing off your fishing skills to me when we were younger, hm?"

"That was different," He says dismissively. "I was courting you. That was my way of expressing interest, of showing you that I am strong."

"Mhm." You say, as though you're waiting for something.

Slowly, Tsu'tey raises his head from where it's buried in your shoulder and squints at you. He's not sure if he's following what you're suggesting.

"You do not think this is the same?" He asks, frowning. "Spider is- he is too young. He cannot be thinking of mating yet-"

"Oh, he isn't." You interrupt with a quick shake of your head. "It's a little crush, love. It's sweet."

But Tsu'tey is frowning, his mind overactive. "Does she- how does Kiri feel? If she does not share his feelings, he will be so disappointed-"

"He isn't going to be proposing anytime soon, relax."

"He needs someone who will value him-"

"Tsu'tey."

He falls quiet, looking into your eyes with a thoughtful little frown. You're looking right back at him, mouth quirked.

"He's a teenager with a crush. Let him be." You murmur, stroking a thumb over one of his pointed ears and making him shiver.

Tsu'tey just grumbles. "He has not told me about a crush."

"Well, I'm sure he will," You say simply. "He's a teenage boy. He's going to be shy about it."

Tsu'tey huffs, and looks down at his hands with a scowl. The thought of his small human boy developing feelings for someone who may not return them makes him feel shifty and aggravated – how is he supposed to protect him from such a thing? It will hurt him so much, and there is nothing that Tsu'tey can do to stop it.

"Stop overthinking." You mutter, nudging against his bicep with your shoulder as you finish tying the hair decoration together. "For all you know, Kiri likes him too and is just shy about it."

Tsu'tey grunts. The thought of Spider, such a small and weak little thing, having his feelings at the mercy of Jakesully's daughter makes him feel a little as though he's losing his mind.

"Hey."

When you nudge him again, he turns to you fully. The beaded hair decoration in your hands is finished, all red beads and golden yellow feathers. You hold it up, eyes bright.

"I made this for you." You say, holding it out for him.

Tsu'tey's stern expression softens, and he ducks his head closer to you. "For me? Will you put it on, yawntu?"

Your sweet little face is so bright as you shuffle forward and reach up for his face. Tsu'tey watches you carefully, reaching out to lay his hands against your waist as you wind the beaded decoration around a small section of braids just behind his ear.

"So handsome." You coo at him when it's tucked neatly behind his ear.

Tsu'tey smiles, satisfied. "Thank you."

You sit back and then nestle into him. He opens his arms and accepts you into his side easily, resting his chin over the top of your head contently.

"Our son will be a good hunter." He says, pressing a kiss to the curve of your shoulder. "And a good brother."

His hand lands on the curve of your belly, his thumb smoothing over the swell of it beneath your woven top. You lean into his touch, sighing happily as his other hand massages at the base of your spine.

"I know," You say simply, making a soft noise when he leans down to cup below your belly with his hands, lifting some of the weight up. "You've taught him well."

Pride swells in his chest, and he purrs softly as he presses his face into your neck again. You smell so sweet and comforting, and he inhales contently against your skin.

His small son has grown so strong, and his little mate fits so perfectly into his arms, no matter how large your belly has swollen. His family is so small and weak; he holds you close as his chest rumbles, pleased that he's large and strong enough to protect you all.

#this is so fuckin self-indulgent lmaoooo #tsu'tey x reader #fluff #avatar headcanons #tsu'tey fic #avatar x reader #avatar 2 #avatar wotw #tsu'tey #fics

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suuuupernovaaa · 1 year

Text

muntxa si

MUNTXA SI: (english) to mate with, marry

(Adult) Neteyam vehemently opposes his human mate becoming Na’vi, for fear of losing her.

This story makes many assumptions - just go with them to enjoy the ride.

2,247 words.

The strength with which Neteyam opposed the idea, right from the very start, was a shock to everyone who knew him. When his mother first mentioned it, she saw a familiar fury in his eyes, one she knew she’d worn many times.

His brother nearly lost his head when he brought it up, and his father hadn’t even tried to broach the subject.

What he didn’t know was that they weren’t bringing it up of their own accord, though it was something they’d thought about before. They were bringing it up because I had brought it up to them first.

I was the only one who wasn’t shocked by his reaction. I knew that all Neteyam would see was the danger and risk involved, and there was nothing more detestable to Neteyam than putting me in harm’s way. This was a sometimes annoying but mostly reassuring trait of his, especially given that, as a human living on Pandora, danger was lurking around nearly every corner for me. Ewya had blessed me with a strong and capable - but slightly overbearing - protector.

After weeks of his family telling me it was me who would have to convince him, I finally plucked up the courage.

We sat in our Mauri pod, late at night, and the words spilled out of my mouth before I could fully control them.

“I want to become Na’vi. Norm has an Avatar for me, he’s been hiding it since I was little, and he told me on my 20th birthday. It’s fully mature now.”

Neteyam sat at the edge of our pod, his legs dangling over the edge and into the water, and he spun around so fast that his braids smacked the wall of the Mauri.

His eyes narrowed and he lowered his chin. “No.”

Taking a deep breath beneath my mask, I stood up. “You don’t get to decide for me, Teyam. I have decided, and I know the clan will support me.”

“No!” He was standing too now, towering over me at nearly twice my height, but he could never scare or intimate me, even if he truly tried.

“Listen to me, Neteyam. You are only thinking of the risk involved, and not the reward. I can’t survive here forever, as one of the last humans. What if the air tanks run out? How will we live our lives together, with me in this human body? Have you considered the fact that your lifespan is twice mine? What will you do when I am too old, even, to run and swim? I won’t live like that, Neteyam!”

I felt hot tears in my eyes, and tried to blink them away in frustration. “You can’t force me to live a half-life with you when a full life is within my grasp! I know Ewya will give this to me. She wouldn’t have brought me to you if she didn’t want us to be together.”

Neteyam’s hands rested on my shoulders, enveloping me, stressing to the both of us our impractical size difference.

“Y/N... you don’t know that she will give this to us. She may take you home to her.”

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath, trying to ignore the panic I could see in his face.

“I have to do this, Neteyam. We won’t have a future together if I don’t. Norm and the others... they talk about having to leave, without a permanent colony here. Their supplies won’t last forever. They would either take me, or leave me here to die with no oxygen.”

Neteyam pulled me down, so we were sitting face to face, our legs crossed.

“I cannot lose you, Y/N.”

“This is our best chance, Neteyam. Please. Please let me do this.”

As much as I had been pretending it was only my choice, and I didn’t need his permission, I knew I couldn’t do it without his blessing. That just wasn’t something I could do to Ma Teyam.

I watched his chest rise and fall with deep breaths as he contemplated.

“We will do this, Y/N, and if Ewya takes you, I will follow you to her myself and bring you back.”

It took time to plan - time that was exciting for all of us. We decided to fly back to the Tree of Souls to give my human body the best chance, since with the Metkayina, the ceremony would have to take place under water.

The Omatikaya welcomed the Sullys, and one sky person, back with open arms. After all, it wasn’t as if I was a stranger to them - I had many friends to greet, as well.

The ceremony was set for the night after our return. Neteyam was quiet at dinner, and his mother watched him cautiously.

“Son,” she said, handing him a plate, “I see the spirit within Y/N. It reminds me of your father - strong, stubborn, a little frustrating.” She smiled, but Neteyam couldn’t bring himself to follow suit. “She will be okay.”

She gripped her son’s arm and he nodded, but the sinking feeling in his chest was there to stay, until the ceremony was complete.

Neteyam walked with me, hand and hand, through the large crowd there to witness my birth - or my funeral.

I could feel the tension radiating through his body, but no matter what I said, I wasn’t able to ease it for him. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous, myself.

There she lay - me, but not me. Tall, with long, thick black hair and eyes that would surely be a piercing gold when opened. She was beautiful; it was the first I was seeing her.

“Oh, Neteyam...” I said, a lump in my throat, and gripped his arm tightly as we approached the tree.

He placed his hand over mine. “You can still change your mind,” he said, but with a sly smile, the first I’d seen him wear in a while - he knew there was little chance of that.

He lifted me up and placed me next to my new body, where the spiritual leader of the Omatikaya waited, a serene and focused look on her face.

She gestured for me to lay down, and I turned to Neteyam. Maybe it was the proximity to the Tree of Souls, but I felt a calm - and tried to convey it to Neteyam with a smile. His family stood behind him, taking their seats to join the ceremony. Neteyam would stay with me until it was done.

He nodded, and I could practically see his heart beating through his chest as he helped me to lay down, my head inches from my avatar’s.

“You will sleep now. Be calm,” a voice above me said, and I had only time to tell Neteyam I loved him before I sank away.

Watching her eyes close, a panic gripped Neteyam’s heart and he felt as if he could vomit in front of the entire clan.

He turned and sought his mother, and would have been embarrassed to do so in any other situation. She was seated between his brother and father, all holding hands with eyes closed, chanting to Ewya.

He watched as Ewya reached up, covering his mate in feather light touches, and he put his hands on her, praying to Ewya, reminding Ewya how much this human woman meant to him.

Silently, he told Ewya of the first time they’d met, at only six years old, and of their first kiss at 12, how she fought with him through the Great War despite her size, how long it took him to work up the courage to ask her to be his mate, and how they cried together when she said yes.

This woman is my life, Great Mother, he prayed, I ask that you return her to me in either body here, and we will make the most of this life we have together.

Every minute felt like an hour, and then the Tsahik reached over and pulled the mask off of his love’s face.

She was gone, at least from this form.

“She is passing through Ewya now, Neteyam, and you must guide her back,” the Tsahik said.

He leapt carefully over to her avatar body, taking it in for the first time. Those were her lips, the shape of her eyes, the sharp dip between her nose and mouth - all his favorite things about her, right here.

“Yawne,” he said, reaching out to touch her soft face, “can you hear me? Follow my voice. Come back to me so that we may return home together, and live the life you promised me.”

He looked to the Tsahik, who nodded in encouragement and resumed chanting. The cries of the clan rose around him, his father and mother’s the loudest, and he steadied his shaking body with a deep breath.

“Y/N, Yawne, hear my voice and follow it. I will wait for you forever - remember the promise I made. Do not deliver two souls to Ewya this day.”

He nearly shot back when the woman before him took a gasping breath, and amber eyes shot open.

It’s impossible to describe how it happens. It’s not a wordly experience, and there are no words to properly convey it.

Ewya is real, and she gave me a second chance at life.

Neteyam’s face hovered inches above mine as I gasped for air. He slipped his hand around the back of my neck and pulled me up, and even in this new body, in my disoriented state, I was acutely aware that I was naked.

“Yawne,” Neteyam whispered, and I saw the tears spilling from his eyes. He only called me Yawne - beloved - once before, when he asked me to be his mate.

“Tiyawn,” I replied, my voice breathy and almost foreign to my ears. My ears! I reached up, trailing my hand over my thick hair and reaching up to feel the pointy, blue ears atop my head. A giggle escaped before I could stop it.

“Can you stand?” he asked, gripping my arms.

I leaned into him. “I am naked.”

“You are Na’vi now,” he replied with almost a shrug, “but I will carry you if it concerns you.”

“I think you should, my legs feel weak.”

They felt strong. My entire body felt strong, and I couldn’t wait to learn how to use it.

I glanced over my shoulder to see myself. My former self. As Neteyam lifted me into his arms and stood up, I thought I should cry for her... but she didn’t feel like me, not anymore.

The clan cheered and whooped, hollered and threw their arms triumphant in the air, as Neteyam stood with me and let out what sounded like a war cry, shaking me in his arms.

The joy in his face was like nothing I had ever seen before. It was beautiful, especially seen through these new eyes.

He rushed through the crowd, to his Ikran, and mounted in one fell swoop with me in his arms.

The Ikran felt so much smaller than she had when we’d arrived less than an hour ago, but of course, I was the one who had grown over three feet.

He took off, holding the saddle with one arm and me tightly in the other, to a place we could be alone.

Back at our temporary home, I was finally able to take a breath and try my new body out. For my first few steps, I had to hold Neteyam’s hands, until I got the hang of it.

I felt weak, but I knew that would wear off. This body was strong, and I was going to make it even stronger, so I could finally keep up with Neteyam.

The thought made me burst into tears as he searched through his mother’s things for something I could wear.

“What is it, Y/N? Do you hurt?” he asked, rushing to my side with only a necklace in his hands.

Embarrassed, I tried to wave him off, but he was too on edge. “Tell me, Yawne. Tell me what you need.”

I threw my arms around his neck and pulled him tightly to me. My face rested perfectly on his chest, where before, it was just over his waist - making hugging an awkward feat. We fit perfectly together now, and it made me cry even harder.

“I’m just so happy and grateful, Neteyam.” I pulled back, wiping at my tears. “Tell me what you think.”

“What I think?” he asked, turning his head to the side.

“Of... me. Of my body. Do you still, I mean, do you like it?”

His gaze softened and he reached up to cup my cheek. “I have loved you for 15 years, Y/N. I loved you human form. Your small body, your beautiful soft hair, and your light eyes. I loved every moment of our life together.”

The tears threatened to return.

“But this... this is my dream, Y/N. I see it now, what you’ve always seen. You were meant to be one of The People, to be with me, to be the mother of my children and my mate for life.”

A smile spread across my new face so wide, I thought it might crack. “I love you, Neteyam.”

He pulled me into his strong arms, and we took a deep breath together.

“Forever,” he whispered in my ear.

I squeezed him tight. “Forever.”

#avatar #avatar 2 #neteyam #avatar way of the water #neteyam x reader

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nateconnolly · 2 months

Text

What Does the Lion Turtle Chant Mean?

A podcast episode about the spirituality of Avatar: The Last Airbender.

Transcript Preview:

Many people have told me they struggle to take Sozin’s Comet seriously because they would have killed the Fire Lord without hesitation. And, look, as far as I’m concerned — if you’re willing to kill a genocidal colonizer, good for you! Many blessings upon your journey! And the show isn’t trying to dissuade you.

Aang is not the only voice of wisdom in Avatar. He’s not a puppet through which the text articulates its meaning. Avatar is about cultural exchange. When one character says what they think is true, that isn’t necessarily the moral of a story. That’s one voice, and the story is a conversation. So, I don’t think that Sozin’s Comet is using Aang to say “Hey, you, you, looking at the TV, you personally should never support violent revolution!” Water Tribe culture doesn’t seem to have any problem with killing on the battlefield.

When Sokka lops off the Melon Lord’s head, there’s some very clear indications that we’re supposed to be troubled. The musical cue, Momo eating the melon, he lingering focus on Aang’s reaction … But I don’t think this scene is meant to communicate that Sokka is a bad guy. Or that soldiers are inherently bad people. I assume that Hakoda, Bato, and Tyro killed people. These figures are portrayed as admirable, and even as mentors.

The scene in which Sokka kills the Melon Lord is there to illustrate the difference between Southern Water Tribe culture and Air Nomad culture. Sokka’s journey is about embracing and reclaiming all the parts of his culture that the Fire Nation tried to destroy. He wasn’t able to go ice dodging or to train as a wolf warrior, but he has found a way to become a strong, protective man anyways. And that does mean that he’s willing to kill or die for a cause he believes in. This scene doesn’t communicate that Sokka is a bad person. It communicates that Sokka is walking his own path, and that Aang is walking a different path. But the show doesn’t try to tell you one of them is wrong and the other is right.

At the same time, I think we need to remember that Aang is saying something he believes. It’s not just an emotional problem for him.

Aang gives multiple related, but different reasons not to kill the Fire Lord.

“I didn’t feel like myself.”

The Fire Lord “is still a human being.”

Killing goes against “everything the monks taught me.”

“All life is sacred.”

In Southern Raiders, he also makes a more general claim that “violence is never the answer,” but I think that the writers had to use the word “violence” as a euphemism. In our normal usage of the word, punching somebody would be a “violent” act. Aang clearly has no problem whacking people over the head or shooting wind at them. I think this is a way of making the show more kid friendly, and that what Aang actually means is

“[Killing] is never the answer.”

Some of these claims are about Aang as an individual. He’s saying he doesn’t feel like he, specifically, can kill someone. That it goes against the values of his culture. And some of these are universal claims. He’s saying no one should kill, not ever.

But he also believes in a separate ethical mandate. As the Avatar, he has to protect the world. In this lifetime, that means preventing the Fire Lord from burning the Earth Kingdom.

This is a story about moral standards, and they seem impossible to live up to. There’s no easy answer. If you believe that murder is wrong, and you believe in the duties of the Avatar, then you have a conflict of values, not just emotions. In order to understand the Buddhist themes of Sozin’s Comet, we have to understand Buddhist ideas of morality.

This podcast episode

Bluesky

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Nate's short story about Buddhism

Transcript with Citations

#sorry but i will promo this a lot #worked really really hard on it #avatar #atla #aang #original post

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shall-we-die · 1 month

Text

╔‌‌‌‌•°⛓༄•°══════════•⊰•°༄༚

{Accident}

Would they blame themselves if you died in an accident?

More headcanons

╞•⊰❖⊱•═══•༻🌊༺•═══•⊰❖⊱•╡

↬[Fandom]•⊰ {Obey me!}࿐

↬[Warnings]•⊰ {Mention of death | a little angst}࿐

☰[Main list]•⊰ ────┈┈{0050}┈─╮

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╰┈➤Likes/Reblogs are appreciated࿐

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↬|Lucifer|

Lucifer would be distraught and devastated upon hearing the news, and he would undoubtedly blame himself. He would question himself and wonder if he could have done something to prevent it and if he could have protected MC. And he would be wracked with guilt, thinking that if only he had been there with them, then maybe he could have saved them.

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↬|Mammon|

For Mammon, he'd most definitely blame himself if MC died in an accident. He'd blame himself for not being there and protecting MC. For Mammon, he'd feel as though MC would still be alive if he had only been around. The guilt and self-blame for the death of MC would likely lead to depression for Mammon. He would start isolating himself from the others and be more prone to temper flares. He'd likely try to avoid his brothers and take more responsibilities for the death of MC. He'd likely think of himself as a failure and blame himself for what happened.

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↬|Leviathan|

If MC died in an accident, Leviathan would most likely blame himself, feeling that he should have done more to protect them. He'd constantly ask himself what he could have done differently, whether he could have prevented the accident somehow. He would feel deep guilt and regret, believing that he was the reason MC died.

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↬|Satan|

Yes, Satan would blame himself if MC died in an accident. He would feel guilty and responsible for not protecting them. He would replay the accident over and over in his head and he would question all the things he could've done differently in order to prevent the accident. He would blame himself and he would carry that weight of guilt with him for the rest of his life.

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↬|Asmodeus|

Asmodeus would definitely experience extreme guilt and remorse if MC was to die in an accident. He would not only blame himself but also believe himself to be responsible for their demise. He would most likely retreat into himself and become very withdrawn, feeling as if he has failed to protect the person he cares for most.

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↬|Beelzebub|

Beel would absolutely blame himself if that happened. Beel would think that he should have been there to save MC, and no matter how it happened, he would hold himself responsible. He would feel guilty for not doing more to protect them. However, since he is the Avatar of Gluttony, he would probably try to cope by eating more to distract himself from the pain.

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↬|Belphegor|

This dude killed MC once... I have nothing to say. But ok, he'll feel guilty and will sleep all day to cope with the sadness, dreaming about MC.

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↬|Diavolo|

Diavolo would definitely blame himself if MC died in an accident. He would feel a tremendous sense of guilt and responsibility for the tragedy. He would question himself constantly, wondering if he could have done more to prevent it from happening. Diavolo is selfless and would consider himself responsible because he was unable to protect MC. He would feel guilty and remorseful, and would have a hard time forgiving himself.

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↬|Barbatos|

Barbatos is a very gentle and caring soul (just towards MC and Dia), so he would definitely blame himself. He would never forgive himself for letting someone he cares about die on his watch. He'd probably even blame himself just for failing to stop the accident, even if the accident had nothing to do with him or wasn't his fault. He would be devastated and deeply depressed. He'd spiral into guilt and self-blame, and his grief would be immense. His sense of failure and guilt would be overwhelming, and it would consume him. He would probably even lose his will to live, feeling that he has no right to live after failing to protect someone so special to him.

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↬|Simeon|

He would feel as if he had failed to protect MC and keep them safe, as an angel is meant to do. He would wonder if he could have done more to prevent this from happening. Simeon is a very compassionate and nurturing person, who truly cares for those around him, including MC. He would feel tremendous guilt and remorse if their death had been preventable in any way.

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↬|Solomon|

Solomon would feel that he had failed to protect the one he loved. He would feel that he had not done enough to keep them safe and that it was all his fault. He would be filled with guilt and shame, and he would feel utterly devastated. He would blame himself for not being a better guardian and protector. He would never forgive himself.

||[🄰ccident]||

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⇆ㅤ ㅤ☰ㅤㅤ ❚❚ㅤㅤ🄱▷ㅤㅤ↻

#𝙰𝚗𝚐𝚜𝚝𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎–[❣]#obey me x reader #obey me x mc #obey me hcs #obey me angst #obey me lucifer x reader #obey me mammon x reader #obey me leviathan x reader #obey me satan x reader #obey me asmodeus x reader #obey me beelzebub x reader #obey me belphegor x reader #obey me diavolo x reader #obey me barbatos x reader #obey me simeon x reader #obey me solomon x reader

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torukmaktoskxawng · 4 months

Text

run away with me

Pairing: Nor/Sarentu!Reader

Warnings: Spoilers for Avatar Frontiers of Pandora, fluff, angst, mentions of brainwashing and residential school trauma

Taglist: @mooniequeen

A/N: No one has requested me to write for AFoP so I decided to take matters into my own hands *cracks knuckles* Let's get to work.

This is basically my rendition of the cutscene you see when playing the game, after the title card. I made it lean more toward the angsty, romance play that we were robbed of when the game finally came out XD Enjoy!

Part 2

When So'lek told you that Nor had left Resistance HQ to have some time to think, you knew you needed to seek him out.

Using your new abilities and talents to track him down, it didn't shock you when you found Nor on one of the highest cliffs near the base of their new home. You remember he made a comment earlier about how there were more colors on Pandora than he remembered and how he had no names for them. You suspected he'd be all the way out here, admiring those colors and maybe trying to invent new names for them.

He didn't react when you approached the small fire he made, likely expecting you to come find him. He turned to face you with lowered ears and a forlorn look in his eyes, "What must our ancestors think of us? Do you think they pity us? Sad to see what we've become?"

"We're still Sarentu."

"Teylan barely speaks our tongue, but then... he always preferred human words."

"Alma says we all need time to adjust."

"Alma is not Na'vi." He growled lowly, turning away to kneel down in front of the fire.

You weren't deterred by his attitude, knowing Nor better than you sometimes knew yourself. He felt things stronger than most. He was passionate about what or how he felt and he wasn't afraid to admit it, hence why he didn't shy away when he proudly proclaimed his feelings toward you. It was years ago now, just the night before Alma snuck you and your friends into cryosleep to wait out the war. All that time you could've been with Nor... lost to cryosleep.

Nor felt the same loss as well, and that is why he wasn't wasting any more time. When neither of you are out on missions, you're with each other, safe at HQ, making up for lost time. Your relationship is technically still new and can easily be chalked up to young love, but Nor didn't see it that way. He claimed that was the way only Sky People saw it, but not the Na'vi. He wanted to do this right, and in his mind, the only right way was the Na'vi way.

So he asked So'lek for advice, on standard Na'vi customs and what the older man might know about the Sarentu ways to court someone. Nor was determined and straightforward about what he wanted to make sure you only got the best treatment. The Na'vi treatment, something that you deserved to have when you were younger but it was taken from you.

That's what you loved about him, growing up beside him. He reminded you so much of your sister at times with their shared determination as kids, though you refused to continue making that comparison after she died... afraid that if Nor acted too much like Aha'ri, then he would die just like her. You couldn't bear to lose him, too, not after everything Mercer and TAP have done to you.

Even now, as you two stood on top of that cliff, you were afraid of losing him, either to death or to life, should life and fate decide to tear you two apart. You wished you could vocalize your fear to him, but you were never as brave or as straightforward as Nor. You were grateful he had approached you about his feelings first, or else neither of you would've ever known.

Although you were not one with words, you were one with actions, and even Nor knew that you communicated with deeds.

Walking up to him, you slide your hand over his shoulder, and while he doesn't say a word, trapped with the demons in his head, he places his own hand on top of yours, a gesture of gratitude. He was thankful for your comfort, knowing that your way of communicating stems from being touch-starved and you would rather voice your thoughts through your actions instead of just saying them because, to you, that means so much more.

You keep your hand on his shoulder, the warmth of his palm bleeding into your skin while you look up and over the cliffside, admiring the scenery with a sad tone in your voice, "Why did the RDA come back?"

"They wanted more of Pandora," he responds with defeat, "They always do."

"Then we'll need to fight," you express with determination, squeezing his shoulder, "Aha'ri would have wanted us to fight."

You try to pull away, but Nor is suddenly too fast. He grasps your hand, gently, and you pause in your movement. He stands to his full height to gaze into your eyes, trying to relay what he's thinking without saying a word. But he wasn't like you. He wasn't good at sharing his thoughts through actions. He was better at it by talking, so that is what he did.

"Or we could run," he suggests and is quick to continue when the expression on your face falls, "Leave this place. Find somewhere else to call home."

"We've talked about this, Nor," you sigh tiredly, recalling not long ago when you, him, Ri'nela and Teylan were all sitting around a fire as Nor suggested they could all run away together. You express the same thing you said back then, too, "Alma brought us here for a reason. She believes in us."

He snarls, though there isn't much heat behind it, "Alma just wants to control us."

Not even you believed what he was saying, lowering your voice to a comforting whisper, "Alma is not Mercer. She actually cares about us as People."

"She left us."

"She thought we were gone."

He steps closer until he's nearly pressed against your chest, his hands sliding up to gently grasp both sides of your face, entwined in your hair. His voice wavered, desperate eyes staring back into yours, "If it were me instead of her, I would've clawed through the rubble of TAP, and I would've looked forever. Un... until I knew for sure if I lost you or not."

You wanted to be touched by the statement, your heart fluttering in your chest while Nor could no doubt feel your heartbeat, pumping through his hands as they rested near both sides of your neck. You shake your head slightly, "That is different. What Alma feels for us is not the same as... as what you feel for me. For all of us."

He shivered, almost proud that you managed to admit your confidence in his feelings toward you. He leans his forehead against yours, breathing in the same air as you while he matches the intimate moment with a whisper, "Exactly. I can't trust Alma with my family. I can only trust myself or you to take care of the four of us, to ensure we stick together."

You wet your lips when they felt dry, deciding to play into his dream for a little bit, "Suppose we did run away... where would we go?"

'Wherever we want! All of us,' he wanted to say the same thing he told Teylan down by the campfire, but he says it differently with you, "Anywhere, far away from here."

"Just the four of us?"

"The four of us," he confirms with a nod, thinking that he had you convinced, "We'll start our own clan. We'll renew the Sarentu."

"And what will happen when the war eventually finds us?"

Your question drives Nor to freeze, and so you continue, "Either Mercer, RDA, or TAP, it won't matter. They'll find us. You know they will."

He unfroze finally, huffing with determination, "Then we will fight."

"But if we fight now, and we win, then we can leave and we will never have to worry about the Sky People again," your hands moved until they were wrapped around Nor's waist, a bold move to match his own, his fingers still wrapped up in the hair on the back of your neck,

"We would never have to keep running or look over our shoulders ever again," you continue, "If we can end this sooner than later, I will go with you. I'll go wherever you want. But... But I can't leave now knowing what the Sky People are capable of. I can't leave knowing that there would be another child out there whose clan was wiped out and I wasn't brave enough to stop it from happening. I would never forgive myself."

Your words stun him into silence, and the intensity of his gaze causes you to feel shy and embarrassed, lowering your head to avoid him until his hands pause your movement. He gently uses his thumbs to push your chin to tilt back up, and when your eyes meet, he pauses for a moment, his intense eyes scanning your expression before his lips twitch up into a small, fond smile, "Heh."

"What?" You tilt your head, hesitant but smiling as well.

"Nothing. It's just... Aha'ri would be proud of you."

He says it so confidently that you know you believe him, and his words make your heart swell with pride and grief, missing your sister. Nor leans back and digs in the pocket of his pants, "I have something for you."

"What is it?"

He provides a carved stone, bearing the mark you both have on your face to signify your long-lost clan, "It's something to remind you of me, whenever you leave HQ and I cannot follow you. It's also a promise."

"What promise?"

"That if I ever leave, it will only be when you are ready to come with me," he leans back into your space, pressing your foreheads together once more as he closes his eyes, taking in your scent, "This time, my love, I go wherever you go."

You clutch the stone in your hand, wanting the carved mark to brand into your skin as you close your eyes as well. You already plan to tie Nor's stone into the songcord So'lek had given you, and you hope that in time, the songcord will grow, and there will be many more milestones to signify. Milestones that you hope that Nor and your friends will share with you, as Sarentu and as your family.

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petit-etoile · 5 months

Note

Astarion/Tav prompt (or Reformed Durge): "I would have you smile again. You will live to see these days renewed. No more despair." I know it's a Lord of the Rings quote but gosh if it doesn't remind me of them ;-;

this is the end of the world ( a time for something biblical )

pairing: astarion/tav wordcount: 5,219 content warnings: canonical mentions of death, spoilers for the dark urge storyline & astarion's act iii romance, graphic mentions of injuries, references to cann.ibalism as a metaphor for love, mental health issues & physical ramifications from the tadpole + rejecting bhaal, i highly recommend listening to the exogenesis symphony by muse other tags: canon compliant, canon-typical violence, character study, introspection, hurt/comfort, whump, canon temporary character death, the dark urge as player character, codependency, religious imagery & symbolism, p.orn with plot archiveofourown: here.

tag list: @azrielshadows1nger, @pandimoostuff, @faevi, @microskies, @foreverthemaraudersera, @queenofthespacesquids, @claryvoyantfray, @6doodlaang14, @anne-isnotokay, @itshimbotime, @yeeteth-the-raven, @sessils,@8-opossums, @worryknotdear, @abirdaboxandachippedcup, @ghosts-and-ink, @b4um3pfl4um3, @gunslingerorchid, @hypopxia, @m0ssytrees, @erysione, @odette-attackattack, @catching-fire-in-the-wind, @ashrio20, @wills-mental-illness, @queenofcarrotflowers-s, @kirahlene be added to the taglist here

summary: ‘Stay,’ Astarion says weakly. ‘I don’t want to be alone.’

‘Your life is mine,’ he says, cruel eyes gazing at you. ‘Accept your inheritance, or I will reclaim it.’

‘I would rather die,’ you say.

His hateful eyes narrow dangerously. It was never a good idea to betray a god, nonetheless one who had created you so lovingly. His voice is a low growl when he dismisses you — and suddenly, white-hot pain shoots through your veins and threatens to swallow you whole. Bhaal raises his hand and your blood obeys.

‘You were made to conquer,’ he snarls. ‘To devour!’

‘I don’t need any of this,’ you spit out. ‘I don’t need you. The only family — I know are those who fight by my side! I will not be what you made me!’

The sickness in your belly surges until you think it will overcome you. You stagger forward until your knees hit the stone floor. Bhaal is forcing you to submit, to become what he had made Orin. This thing won’t have you, Astarion whispers against the curve of your ear. It won’t win. You’ve got this, darling. And I’ve got you. You want to believe him, but your blood-kin has done damage beyond repair. What were children beyond the sins of their father?

‘You reject my blood?’ Bhaal asks.

‘Yes,’ you whisper.

‘Then I shall reclaim it,’ he says, his promise a growl in his throat.

You were your father’s seed cultivated to perfection by determination and bravery. Now, you were nothing more than a disappointment to be snuffed out root and stem. You choke on the warmth in your throat. Your veins seem to have exploded beneath your skin. You sneeze, red oozing from every orifice.

‘I will make another who is worthy,’ says Bhaal, lifting his hand.

As he raises his hand, you are forced to kneel. Every single one of your muscles contracts in agony. The others might be shouting but you can hardly hear them over the roaring in your ears. Your blood is rejecting you. Festering inside your flesh like a disease. Like the skeleton carved into the wall, you weep blood down your neck. No matter how hard you try to close your eyes to prevent it, your rich ichor abandons you.

No, you want to tell him. The rot of his blood will end with you as it had with Orin. The abomination of murder will never set forth and harm another. You reach for the dagger at your hip and raise it, but the Avatar of Bhaal dissipates before you can strike. The weight of your body collapses forward.

Like a wounded beast, you keen loudly, shaking your head as if that will free your ears from the blood inside of them. You were born from this blood. You were created by this blood to be who you are today. Rejecting it should be like a sin — but if sin is a seed, you have eaten it willingly from the hand of mortality. If Bhaal is to reject you, then you will reject his godhood.

You close your eyes as blood overtakes your sight. You press your forehead into the stone to fight your fever. You shiver and gasp. You gargle on the proof of vitriol and lean into the chilled floor, resigned to your fate. At least you wouldn’t become a mindflayer…

“No!” Astarion wails. Your heart shatters. ‘No, please — Not you!’

I’m sorry, you say. You close your eyes and remember the color of the sun in his hair. I didn’t mean for this to happen. This isn’t what I wanted. Your fingers curl against the stone, and then — There’s nothing. Astarion touches the sleepless bruises beneath your eyes with such tenderness you forget his strength. You lean your cheek into his palm and sigh sleepily, but even as exhaustion overtakes your body, you shudder. You’re afraid to sleep, to dream. You don’t want to hurt anyone else ever again.

‘You have to rest, my love,’ he murmurs. He allows you to lay on his hand as though it were a pillow. ‘When was the last time you slept through the night?’

‘I’m not sure,’ you confess.

‘I might be a sleepless creature of the night,’ Astarion says, ‘but you… You needn’t fear your dreams when I am here. I’ll protect you no matter the cost.’

‘And who will protect you if I sleep?’ you ask.

You must be frowning, because Astarion uses his other hand to soothe the crease between your eyebrows. He sounds so outrageously heartbroken that you want to cry. You don’t want him to think he isn’t a comfort… You haven’t slept beside someone in so long, and the warmth of his body has always lulled you to your dreams peacefully until recently.

Astarion swallows thickly. ‘I’m not afraid of you. I’m not afraid of this. I’m with you forever and always.’

But what if there isn’t an always?

‘There is always a future for you and I,’ Astarion vows. ‘Now sleep. He can’t control you as long as I’m around.’ When you open your eyes again, you’re greeted by the most beautiful man you’ve ever seen. His eyes are a soft cerise, and his cheeks are high and sleek, his lips plump and his hair soft and curled. An angel. You’re unable to control the way you reach your hand to touch his cheek, smearing a crystalline tear across his wan skin.

‘Who are you?’ you whisper, voice caught painfully in your throat.

‘Hush now, my love,’ he whispers. He presses a sweet kiss to your mouth, and when he pulls away, his lips are ruddy and wet. ‘Thank the gods… I thought I had lost you.’

Oh, you think. You remember now. This is the man from your dream… You try to recall the details of how you know him, but it’s hard to follow a train of thought. You turn from side to side. It’s so hard to move, to focus. Your limbs feel as though they are made of lead and marble. Everything aches. The tips of your fingers and your nails down to the little bones in your toes. Your head, though, is the only part of you free from intense pain. It’s as though a weight has been lifted from the veil of your memories. You rest your arm across your waist, too tired to keep it lifted.

‘Who…’ Your brows furrow in confusion. ‘Who am I?’

‘I know you were once a child full of life and love,’ the angel says to you, gently cradling your face in his hands. ‘I know one day you were afraid and unsure and half-mad. I know you stained the streets red with cruelty and devised a plan larger than all of Faerûn. But I know you are strong and that your heart is good. You saved the tieflings, and you saved the refugees, and now you will save the world that threatens to be plunged into darkness.’

You smile. ‘That doesn’t sound like me at all,’ you confess.

The angel shakes his hand, fingers pressing hard into your skin. His voice breaks. ‘But I know it to be true, so you must believe my every word. You are brave. You are kind. You are good. You are my love, and I know that I am loved by you in return. You are a protector,’ he tells you. ‘You have protected everyone, and now it is time to protect yourself. You have survived two gods and now you must survive a third.’

The knot in your throat grows larger with every word. You think you remember now. Yes, you can remember it all very clearly. You know the weight of his hands like baptism. You turn your cheek and kiss his palm, smudging his skin pink.

‘Astarion,’ you whisper.

Your love smiles down at you, your blood dribbling down his chin.

‘What happened?’

‘Let’s not worry about that,’ he shushes you, massaging the bruises beneath your eyes. ‘Come, let us get you cleaned up.’

‘I don’t think I can walk yet,’ you say. Admitting it makes you feel weak.

‘Don’t worry,’ Astarion says softly. ‘I can carry you.’

‘I will bloody your clothes,’ you say.

‘Bloody them,’ Astarion says. ‘I don’t care.’

Astarion does carry you. He carries you all the way back to the inn, to a private room just the two of you share. He orders a tub to bathe you in and then takes an hour to scrub your skin clean, carefully cleaning your gore from your hair and scalp.

You watch as Astarion passes a bar of soap against the skin of the top of your arm over and over again until it is red then pink then flesh. Then, he gently twists your wrist. He cleans the underside of your arm next, and your palm. He washes your fingers until they do nothing but shake in the cold air. You curl your fingers around his.

‘Was it hard?’ you ask him.

‘I will never forget the smell of your scent,’ Astarion replies.

He moves to wash the hollow between your collarbones, encouraging you to recline in the water. He washes your chest and your stomach until his grief washes over him in waves. His chin shakes until a sob escapes. He presses his face into your hair and wails softly into your crown. When he’s done weeping, Astarion returns to his cleansing. He speaks not of it again. There is so little of you left.

You often wonder how much of your brain is left between the parasite and the hole your father has left you. Sometimes Jaheira still looks at you as though the rot of your father isn’t entirely gone. You don’t blame her. You’re waiting for your control to snap. You were good once. You could be good again. You want to be good again.

Shadowheart smiles at you now. Lae’zel no longer frowns. Even Wyll has taken up eating beside you again when it’s nighttime and the adventure can go no more. Gale pours you an extra serving of wine. He says you need it. Karlach lets you hold Clive at night when Astarion goes hunting, and he goes hunting often now. It makes you wonder if your blood is vile.

Part of you wants to ask him if you’ve done something wrong. You’ve committed no crime, but you feel like you have. Your memories of before are slipping away. Your memories of now seem to do the same.

You wait in your tent that night for Astarion to return, your blanket pulled around your head and shoulders. You rehearse what you’re going to say. You want to reassure him you’re not angry. You just…feel loss. Empty. The loneliness nips at your bones like crows at carrion.

When Astarion slips inside, he looks guilty. It almost makes you want to change your mind, but you have to know. You feel as though you’re going mad. A flightless bird trapped in a cage. Like Dame Aylin trapped in Shadowfell. He refuses to meet your gaze.

‘Have I done something — ’

‘You,’ Astarion says through gritted teeth, ‘are perfect. Every time.’

You want to cry. ‘Then why do you avoid me?’

‘Avoid you?’ Astarion repeats incredulously. He looks at you now despairingly. ‘No, that isn’t what this is at all. I would never avoid you.’

‘You’re hunting more often,’ you say in a low tone, a whisper. Accusatory.

‘Can you blame me?’ he asks plainly.

It’s your turn to look away in shame. ‘If it’s too much, you should sleep somewhere else.’

‘I don’t want to be apart from you,’ Astarion says.

‘Then how do we fix this?’

‘You cannot fix what is not broken.’

‘Astarion,’ you plead. ‘Hold me or — I don’t know who I am anymore.’

Astarion wraps his arms around you before you can say another word. His lips are like a halo against your head. Each kiss he presses against your scalp is a prayer from a sinner. You turn your cheek, and he kisses you so passionately it makes your empty head spin.

You relearn who are you in his arms that night. And as he regales you with tales of your history, you think you can imagine them in your mind’s eye. He kisses your wrist. He tells you a happy memory when he kisses the curve of your belly, and when he kisses your ankle, he promises you that everything will be worth it.

It wasn’t you that was the problem. There wasn’t a problem, not really. Only an impiety he wanted to atone for. He struggles with telling you, but when he whispers it against your thigh, you understand.

‘Your blood,’ he says, voice strained. ‘I cannot escape the smell.’

‘I’m sorry,’ you say, but he shakes his head and his hair tickles your sensitive skin.

‘No, I — It is my shame,’ he confesses. ‘I’ll admit I’m a lech.’

Astarion struggles to put his words in a coherent structure. When you died, he was horrified and distraught. Only the gods know how hard he wept seeing you lifeless. Yet it was his vampiric nature that had betrayed him almost as much as your life’s blood had betrayed you. He felt hunger.

How could he be sad when he was so ravenous? Was he not an evil man, or is this what made him evil? That, in all of his beautiful tears and lamentation, the urge to devour you, bones and all, nearly consumed him? Your death was horrible, ugly, wretched. Your death was beautiful and coveted.

Astarion devours you again that night, mouthing and licking and sucking at your swollen core. He makes you a martyr in his grief. His tongue teases you over and over again. When you’ve climaxed once, Astarion seeks out to make you do it again until your legs are shaking violently and your voice has gone hoarse. He doesn’t take you that night, not in the traditional way, but he swallows you up regardless.

It isn’t until afterwards when he’s laying with his head on your chest that you understand his tragedy. It’s a misfortunate impossibility trying to grieve when you can’t stop salivating. Astarion thinks you’re horrified by the admission, but after knowing your past, it was hard to feel scandalized by anything.

You pet his curls away from his face, watching as he listens to the hum of your heartbeat. He might have it memorized by now, but each time it beats, Astarion’s eyelashes flutter with admiration. It is a hymn, a doxology, a liturgy that only he knows the words to. After all, he wrote them on your skin and immortalized them forevermore. He is so beautiful, you think, when there is no trouble to be seen.

You were once both trapped by your dark god’s design. You had set yourself free. You had sprouted the wings of a swan guided by the empathy you had planted in a garden as a child. It would be Astarion’s soon, and you would carry him in compassion until the thorn crown was placed upon his brow.

Astarion’s eyes are closed. In your perpetually confused state, you mistake him for having fallen asleep and resort to doing the same. The city becomes chilly at night and your skin is decorated with gooseflesh. He rises almost immediately and you try to chase after him, fingers piercing through a ghost.

‘I wasn’t going anywhere,’ Astarion says immediately. He drags his cape from the corner of the tent and lays it across your shins. ‘You were shivering.’

‘I’m not used to this — ’ Will my mind ever be the same? ‘ — chill.’

‘I will be here,’ he promises. ‘Here, let me hold you for the night.’

You clumsily trade places with him, and he tucks your blanket and his cape around your body as tightly as he can. He kisses you passionately and you taste your familiarity in his mouth. It’s so sweet that you sigh. ‘I know what you did,’ Orin says hatefully, spitefully, cruelly. Her voice is like honey.

‘What have I done?’

‘Did you think I wouldn’t know?’ she asks. ‘Filthy rotten blood-kin undeserving of our father’s gift!’

You repeat yourself. ‘What have I done?’

‘You,’ Orin spits, ‘think your grey matter deserves to be loved! I should carve it out! I should make it disgusting and sticky again! Split it’s skull open! You foul traitor!’

Slowly, you pull Orin into your chest. You hug her and smooth her hair down her back. Her arms wrap around you begrudgingly until the lovingkindness causes her to rupture. She sobs into your neck hideously, clinging to you. She wails and she wails until you are both children again staring up at your grandsire for approval.

‘It isn’t fair,’ Orin tells you, hiccuping. She wipes her nose with her fingers. ‘It isn’t fair.’

‘I love you, blood-kin,’ you say. You kiss the top of her head.

‘Slaughter kin,’ she says sadly. She holds your hand with her snotty palm.

‘Sister,’ you say. In the coming weeks, your mind hardly gets better. Memories are still missing. You catch yourself gazing at the mirror longer than you expect to. You used to be so beautiful. It’s hard to recognize the face staring back at you. You touch one cheek and then the other. You turn your head and watch your jawline.

No, it still isn’t you.

You take the knife in your belt to your hair and begin cutting away pieces you don’t remember. You lean forward and smudge your eyes before sitting up straight and trying again. You recognize a part of yourself. You chase that feeling. You press your hand against your heart. You smile faintly. Astarion sobs so hard you think you might lose yourself. You’re at a loss of what to do. He’s alive but he keens like a dying deer. It’s supposed to be healing, you think. Cazador is dead. His reign of terror should end. Astarion is saved and he saved himself. You couldn’t be prouder of him.

Slowly, you step forward one foot after another. You collapse to your knees at his side. It’s easy to pull Rhapsody from his fingers. You drop it by his side. Slowly, as if in a dream, you hold him like you held Orin. Astarion sobs harshly into your collarbone and clings to you so tightly you might break.

‘I thought — I thought — ’ he cries brokenly.

I thought it would make me feel better, he says without saying. You shush him and pet his hair. Cazador’s blood smears against your cheek when Astarion burrows his face into your neck. You let him linger. You aren’t sure how long you sit on the hard marbled floors, but when you stand up, your knees creak so loud you’re almost insecure about it.

This time, it’s your turn to carry Astarion. He won’t let you pick him up, but you hold him by his waist. You carry him past your allies, past the onlookers who once saw you in opposition. You order the maids to bring you a bath, and as Astarion hiccups in the water, you bathe him.

You wash the taint of Cazador from his body. The soap cleans the dirt and the blood and the memory. You wash his chest and his belly and Astarion thanks you hoarsely. He looks at you, and his eyes are so wide and beautiful that you cry too.

Dying isn’t easy. It isn’t beautiful or romantic or a sweeping gesture. Dying is painful and hideous and ugly, and you have saved Astarion from a lifetime of torment. Rather, he did it by himself with your help. You swipe the soap against his cheeks and use a rag to clear it away. Astarion’s hair is somehow curlier when it’s wet, and you part the curls so they’ll dry without tangling.

Astarion watches you miserably as you towel his hair. You wipe droplets of water off his skin and slowly slide him into his smallclothes. He accepts your blanket and wraps it around his shoulders, staring at the wooden floor, at his feet.

‘Stay,’ Astarion says weakly. ‘I don’t want to be alone.’

‘I would never let you be alone,’ you say.

It isn’t what you bought the room for. Really, you only wanted to wipe the blood from his face but now, you climb into the sheets next to Astarion and hold him tightly. He doesn’t seem to want to talk about the future. He doesn’t want to talk about his siblings either or the thousands of spawn waiting to hang on his every word.

And you can’t even blame him. The gods know how long it took for your tongue to become free from the weight that held it still after you betrayed your father. Karlach said you talked a lot before, but now it’s hard to say anything without wondering if your words are in the right order. Astarion cries softly as if to not awaken you from your slumber, but you can’t fall asleep. You can’t toss or turn either, but dreams evade you.

Dawn peeks through the window. Dawn-bringer, Jergal had called you. You slide out of bed carefully then and cross the room. You draw the curtains shut. Astarion watches you curiously from where he burrows in the sheets. His brow furrows adorably when you climb back into bed and plaster yourself to his spine.

‘Ah,’ you say monotonously. ‘The sun is gone. I suppose we'll stay in until it returns.’

After a day of lounging, Astarion still isn’t ready to talk about what’s on his mind but he watches you do your favorite mundane mortal things with explicit interest. He has you read the book you’re reading aloud, and if it takes you a few hours to struggle through one chapter, he says nothing about it.

Every once in a while, another one of your companions comes to sit in.

Lae’zel tries to commend Astarion for his warrior’s heart without sounding stilted, but eventually she gives up on complimenting him to sympathetically let him know she understands. They had all seen Vlaakith. Karlach brings Clive by and carefully arranges him in the bed next to Astarion. She tells him that he’s fucking awesome and asks permission to hug him.

The touch nearly sends him spiraling.

Gale approaches in his usual manner. He brings Astarion a bottle of wine spiked with blood and lets him know he’s available to chat whenever Astarion feels up to it. Wyll spends thirty minutes apologizing for the bad blood between them, which is funny considering their bickering was hardly vitriolic. Shadowheart visits and gifts him a perfume that makes his lip wobble dangerously.

Jaheira, Minsc, Boo and Halsin come together solemnly. They might be the least offensive of the bunch. Boo gives Astarion a thousand kisses on his cheeks, and Jaheira finally tells them a story of her youth. Halsin has Astarion drink a potion, not because he’s injured physically, but because it should help with his pain. Minsc tries teaching you a Rashemen dance, but Astarion laughs for the first time that day and you do too.

‘It is good,’ Jaheira says, ‘to see you both smile again.’

You touch your mouth shyly. Your cheeks are sore. Astarion’s smile fades slightly but returns in full, timid confidence lighting his features once more. Halsin crosses the room and opens the curtains you’ve closed. The light douses the room in holiness, and you turn your face to watch the sunset, unafraid of what the future will bring.

‘That which troubles you will soon be over,’ she promises. She pats Astarion’s hand, and although she doesn’t say it, you know he’s her son. ‘You will live to see these days renewed. There will be no more despair.’

You’re both left alone again together. Astarion beckons you to the bed instead of your chair and you join him, carefully sitting atop the covers, a respectable distance between your thighs. You inhale carefully.

‘You did the right thing,’ you say. ‘Not completing the Black Mass.’

‘Perhaps I had inspiration,’ Astarion replies. ‘You had a chance to become the Slayer, a being more powerful than you could have known. But you didn’t.’

‘I betrayed my father,’ you whisper, staring at your hands. ‘And he killed me for it.’

‘And if I had completed Cazador’s ritual,’ Astarion says, ‘I would have become Mephistopheles’s whore. I refuse to bow to the whims of others. Being an Ascendent…was blinding me to the truth.’

You look at him curiously then. He confesses to you his sins. He has thought of ascending, and thought of it often but it was never to protect himself. After a certain point, he wanted to protect you too. Your Urges had been mistaken for something else then. A possession, an invasion. Astarion sought to exorcise you of your demons.

But when you had died and the diseased lifeblood fled from your veins, Astarion realized the truth. The ascension would not have helped him protect you. It would have tainted him. It would have contorted him. Rising above all other vampires, Astarion would have become cruel like those before him. He does not want to be cruel to you. He wants to learn kindness as you have. He reaches for it like he chases the sun.

Astarion takes you by the hand, smoothing your skin with his thumb over and over. His skin is cold beneath yours. You curl your fingers into his. He did not want to make you a slave, not again. Not to him.

‘You are the dawn-bringer,’ Astarion says. ‘Even if I never see the sun again, I am free.’

‘I love you,’ you say, voice shaking. ‘I’ll be with you. In the darkness.’

‘You fool,’ Astarion laughs affectionately. He leans across the distance and kisses your temple. ‘There is no darkness. You are daylight incarnate.’

You look at him sharply.

‘I’ve been thinking about something,’ he says. ‘It’s…been on my mind all day, but I think it’s time. Say you’ll come away with me.’

You and Astarion dress slowly. You would follow him almost anywhere, but this is different. There’s something to be done. You don’t dress in armor, and for that you’re almost grateful. You’re tired of fighting. You’re tired of seeing blood.

But it isn’t blood or anything blood related that Astarion takes you to see. One minute, you are wandering Baldur’s Gate at night, and the next, you’ve come to the hollow of a tree where a gravestone is coated in vines.

‘This…is where my old life began,’ Astarion tells you softly. ‘Beneath there, I was turned into a monster. But Cazador is dead now and I get to decide my own fate.’

Astarion tells you in painful detail about his transformation. How his wounds fused themselves shut but the pain never went away. He tells you about breaking through the wood of his demise and the fear that flooded his veins and how, just when he thought he had found his savior, Cazador had laughed wickedly with his cruel glowing eyes.

‘I was his,’ Astarion murmurs, ‘but not anymore.’

He kneels before you on the dirt before his tombstone and bows his head. The prodigal son returned home. The sight of it causes your heart to squeeze. You want to step away but you can’t. You’re afraid.

‘There is nothing left of the person I was before,’ he tells you. ‘I am free to become who I want to be, free to start a new journey. I have all the time in the world to figure out who I am and what I want, but I think I know.’

‘I love you,’ you say again. ‘You’re what I want.’

‘You were by my side through all of this,’ Astarion says, eyes glimmering in the moonlight. ‘And now I want you to christen me. Inaugurate me here on the site of my rebirth.’

This is another dream. You hold your hands over Astarion’s head and sprinkle imaginary water over his head. His eyes close instinctively. Love washes over him, something golden. You kneel down and pluck a flower from the earth and it does not bleed. Relief floods your veins. For once, you touch something and it does not rot. Carefully, like a ghost, you slide the flower into Astarion’s hair and watch as his crimson eyes spill open with tears and devotion.

Astarion kisses you, and for the first time in a long time, he presses his body against yours. He takes you that night in the dirt. His leg is tucked under yours, his cock against your core, his lips never leaving yours. Astarion recites verses in your ears until you burst with ecstasy, tightening around him so much that he can hardly move. He cradles the back of your head to comfort you as he drinks your blood. He cradles your head tonight because he loves you.

‘I am yours,’ he whispers against your skin, ‘and you are mine.’ You aren’t sure when or how Astarion has the time, but he presents you with a gift the night before the world ends. He wears a matching flower from his grave pinned to his armor at all times now. And on his hand, a ring with a silver band. He slides one over your finger as well and kisses your palm as you slowly realize what it means.

The family you’ve chosen throws you a celebration. The next day, Dammon arrives and shows you your repaired armor now dyed white.

You cry for hours out of happiness. ‘This could be the last chance we have for this,’ you whisper to Astarion.

Everyone keeps telling you that a light has returned to your eye, but you don’t see it. It isn’t until you’re laying naked with Astarion again, his skin pressed against yours, that you think you can see it too.

Astarion fucks you tenderly until you’re sore, and you cry and plead sweet things against his shoulder while he holds you safe in his arms. When the pleasure becomes too much and your spine arches from the mattress, he pulls you into his lap and holds you safe against his chest. You kiss him until your lips are sore.

‘Your life is mine,’ Astarion murmurs. ‘You belong with me, my love.’

‘I’ve never been happier,’ you moan weakly.

He has taken you again and again this evening. He doesn’t say it, but Astarion is afraid of what tomorrow might bring. You have outsmarted gods and men. You have found goodness where there was nothing but darkness. You refuse to be afraid now.

‘We were made to conquer,’ Astarion says. His mouth is like a fire across your cheekbone. You shudder around his cock.

‘Take my love,’ Astarion commands you, so you do.

You kiss a ruby bruise into his neck, and Astarion fills you with a grunt. He doesn’t part from you. He guides you back down into the sheets and burrows against your body as if determined to climb between your ribs. You smile. Astarion has already made a home in your bones and flesh. He has eaten the rot from your core and recreated you anew. You were not his sin but his salvation. Perhaps he was yours too.

#astarion #astarion ancunin #astarion bg3 #astarion x tav #astarion x reader #astarion x you #astarion x oc #extremely #aeristarion #coded #from ，carcosa .#anonymous #my fic #this might be my favorite thing i've written in a really long time #i think it vaguely fits the prompt i tried my best #sometimes...................sometimes.

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