#and you'll learn and grow and get better and better about dealing with the hard stuff

[zarla-s]

Hi. Wanted to ask you about"you will never leave here not in the way that matters" thing. Is it purely in the physical sence (like that ink blob will find Gaster everywhere)?

It's primarily in an emotional sense! It works on several levels actually.

The goopmonster has been inflicting torture on Gaster that he feels like he deserves and thus doesn't try to escape for the most part - this is also why it says "and you thought I was what was keeping you here?" in a mocking way. Gaster willingly tries to go back to it, which the goopmonster also mocks him about by going "if you insist" to him. In essence, he'll never escape his self-loathing, or the feeling that he deserves to be tortured for everything that he's done (or didn't do), or the trauma of the entire experience of being erased and tortured eternally/instantly. He can't escape the damage he's endured and inflicted - in some way he will always carry it with him, much like how the black void drips out of his scars on the surface.

But, this and the monster are a reflection of Gaster's pessimistic worldview and his general lack of hope. Trauma, how people react to it and how people overcome and learn to live with it, is the major theme of Handplates. People can't "leave" their trauma entirely behind, so to speak, but they can grow, live, love, be happy, and hope, even while bearing its scars. It's not the be-all end-all of their lives, and it doesn't have to be all of Gaster's life. That was part of why Papyrus was so insistent that Gaster try to leave - try to move on - from what he'd done and what he'd been through to try and build a better life.

It comes up again later, when Gaster is on the surface, where he says that it's hard for him to believe that they're free and that it won't be taken away from him again, residual fear from what he went through during the War. Essentially, PTSD. It's then that he gets some perspective on what the goopmonster said to him - you'll never leave here, not in a way that matters. Even if he leaves the void, his damage will come with him. Even when he has everything he wanted, he can't feel safe. He can't feel peace. He can't escape it.

But of course, right after that, Asgore suggests ways he can deal with it, ways he can learn how to handle it and live with it, and he goes with him to do so. He gets books about how to live and deal with trauma and PTSD, he reads them and works on it. He tries, like he promised Papyrus he would. He can't erase what happened, he can't "leave" it, but he can still work to make a better life for himself and work to be a better person for the people around him. Those scars are part of him and his world, but they're only part of it.

It does also work on a more literal level - Gaster can never entirely leave there because he's not entirely put together. Pieces of him are still missing and still scattered across the void, parts of him he can't get back or understand or possibly even recognize as himself anymore (part of the makeup of the goopmonster itself? perhaps :3).

It also applies on a meta level with Gaster being the panel borders, which disappear when they're in the void. That blackness will always be there just by its nature, defining time and space by the panels and gutters (well... lack of gutters...). So Gaster can never leave the void because he is the void, to an extent, and he can never escape his fall into it or even his way out of it because his being encompasses the panels that define the entire function of time for the comic's reality. He's in a perpetual state of eternity and instantaneous, present for every moment of the comic from beginning to end but unable to change it or understand what it is he's doing or even is. Panels define time and space for a comic, but that time is an illusion, under the control and imagination of the reader.

He tries to describe this a few times to others but it's very difficult since he doesn't understand that what he's in is a comic, he can't comprehend that perspective or that that's what he's seeing. Being in a game seems like the more logical conclusion, even if that still has holes. But anyway.

[lightsofpandora]

Na'vi language

Summary: You were the new "acquisition" of the Omaticaya clan, the tribe had found you lost in the forest (you had been separated from your group on a mission to save your life) and they decided to take you with them since they did not want to take any risks: you were human and they had to decide what to do to see if you were intended to be a threat or not. Now, you had been with the clan for a while and the Sully children were doing their best to help you learn more about their culture and even more, their language. But, not everything went the best way for two of them.

Word Count: 1591

Warning: All of them have the same age

Pairings: sully children x female!reader

A/N: Sorry if there is more than one mistake, English isn’t my first language and I am still learning it. It’s my first time writing an Avatar fanfic! However, I hope you enjoy it and have a good time, thanks for reading! (:

Neteyam

You two had established a good relationship since he discovered that you were not a threat, from that moment Neteyam wanted to get closer and help you understand those lands, their traditions and the history of the people, because he could see in your eyes that you were a beginner in everything related to that world of which you knew nothing; he was more than happy to give you a hand and help you in whatever was possible. At the beginning, Neteyam and you communicated through gestures, signs and short words in English that his father and brothers had taught him, but, like you, he still needed practice to be able to dominate a whole sentence in English. Neteyam had become one of your best friends in the clan, so when he found out that you were to be given lessons of Na'vi he was very excited because he knew how fast you were learning and you were going to be able to communicate in a "more natural way" soon, no more English words and phrases that he battled with constantly and struggled to understand. He was very excited to teach you.

"Look, here's the deal: I'll teach you our language and if you say one correct word after another, you'll teach me that complicated and difficult language of yours, is that okay? It'll be an easier way for us to communicate! Tsun oe ngahu niNa'vi pivängkxo a fi'u oeru plite' lu!"

Lo’ak

Even when he knew you were not a threat to the clan, Lo'ak took much more time to trust and start a conversation with you because you were a human and he didn't know which side you were on, he barely knew you. The stories his parents had told him all his life about the RDA made him grow up with a feeling of constant alertness to any foreign movement, especially danger. He had learned to be distant and cold to those who were not part of his people or race, just as he was doing with you. However, as time went by, you showed him that you were friendly and had spent enough time in those lands to fall in love with every aspect and detail of Pandora, constantly trying to make him understand that not all humans were the same. Little by little, Lo'ak stopped being so defensive and began to approach you slowly, with "baby steps" (as his father would say) and the same way he got closer, it didn't take him long to fall in love with you almost instantly; a feeling that scared him at first and he tried to hide it as best he could, although, when he found out that you were to be taught to speak his language, he saw an opportunity to spend more time together even with his siblings around. He simply found it hard to take his eyes off you and even harder to accept that he was in love with a human. "You're doing great, y/n. Much better than us! Now, can you say tawtute?" he kept laughing with your pronunciation and the way you quickly managed to get frustrated, he found you really adorable.

Spider

Like Loak, Spider was hesitant to make friends with you and show you his ways because, like the others, he also thought that you were part of the RDA and that this was just part of a plan. However, time proved him wrong and besides becoming friends, Spider's heart developed something much deeper. At the arrival of these new feelings, he felt insecure and somewhat nervous, but, he thought that at least, he had a better chance than Lo'ak since the guy didn't have the least idea of how to dissimulate and didn't think he knew the meaning of the word either. When he was assigned the task of teaching you new words, Spider stayed leaning against a tree with his arms crossed watching how the others did all the work, not because he didn't want to teach you himself but because he knew that the others had more experience and knew what they were doing. Anyway, he would say phrases that always managed to make you laugh: "You said it wrong, Lo'ak! y/n, he's teaching you wrong. Don't listen to him, please!" "I'm sorry I can't teach you myself, y/n. My pronunciation is a hell of a lot better than Lo'ak's but my accent is awful." Those kind of comments always generated a friendly fight between the two brothers and some branch used to hit the head of the Na'vi.

Kiri

Unlike the two skxawng, Kiri was much more similar to Neteyam in many aspects; she was a very kind girl even when she was warned of your arrival, she was one of the first to defend you over the others by saying that she did not see you as a bad person. She was also very curious, so she went to meet you behind Jake and Neytiri's back to find out where you came from, who you were and what you were looking for in those lands. It didn't take long for the two of you to form a strong bond. But, at that moment, Kiri was worried because neither Lo'ak or Spider were teaching you useful words with which you could learn to communicate. All they were doing was laughing and being silly in front of you; on one hand, Spider wanted to teach you jokes and funny words so that you would "make good friends" while on the other hand, Lo'ak was determined to teach you how to say phrases like: "I love you", "Do you want to be my boyfriend?", "You are a cute boy" and some swear words; they were not teaching you anything at all. For this very reason and refusing to do nothing but watch, Kiri went looking for Jake.

"What's wrong, kiddo? is everything all okay?"

"They're not teaching her anything they should! Spider and Lo'ak are messing around and y/n is playing along with their joke simply because she doesn't understand what they're saying! She' s trying so hard to learn, but they're not helping!"

———————————————————————————

Hearing her words, Jake covered his face with his hands and let out a sigh, frustrated. He knew it wasn't a good idea to put two rowdy teenagers next to y/n, the way he saw it, they looked like two monkeys trying to get attention and it was a trait that always stood out to them.

"They're flirting with her, aren't they? little bastards!"

"Spider yes but Lo'ak... he's not doing very well, he doesn't know how to dissimulate, he's terrible, daddy." answered the youngest of the family, Tuktirey, who at saying those words frowned and played with a plant, not entirely sure of the meaning of her words.

Jake was guided by his two daughters to the place and observed the two young boys with a very negative look on his face. Then, he shouted something to them in his native language so that y/n would understand perfectly and, he hoped that it would have an effect on one of them:

"Hey, both of you! Stop acting like lovesick monkeys and do what I told you! You'll have the rest of the day to teach her romantic lines and anything you want. Damn it!"

And to his good luck, they did. Both, Lo'ak and Spider turned red as a tomato and shrugged their shoulders in embarrassment, unable to look at y/n or say a word. Neteyam let out a big laugh when he saw the expression of both and then thanked his father with a nod of his head, very different from Spider and Lo'ak, who didn't know whether to murder their father or their brother first.

Kiri and her little sister returned with the others, now ready to teach y/n the right way. However, the girl didn't want to return to her lessons without giving the two of them their revenge.

"So.... lovesick monkeys?"

The laughter that followed from the three girls and Neteyam was an embarrassing blow to the naughty ones, although deep down, perhaps, they deserved it. That would be a good story to tell later, but now they had to get on with their lessons, including Spider and Lo'ak who had already had their little secret found out.

"Can you say "Jake skxawng?" were the last words Lo'ak addressed to y/n with a fake smile before remaining silent for the rest of the lesson.

—lightsofpandora

[fangswbenefits]

getting this off my chest

I really, really love writing for this fandom.

I think I haven't felt like this in years.

Astarion is such an enticing vessel for my creativity and has rekindled my joy for writing and putting it out there.

Alas, imposter syndrome really gnaws at my nerves more often than I care to admit.

"But Ruby, you have so many people who like your work. Why do you doubt yourself?"

Because I grew up being told I was never enough. That I was the worst at what I did best, which back then was learning English and surrounding myself in the language, hence why I sought comfort in fanfiction.

My sister, whom I love dearly, is an English teacher. She would be so harsh on me, and I know she meant well. She really did. But it was so hard back then. I would come to her with creative writing in English and she would just roll her eyes and tell me I wasn't good enough.

Nowadays, she acknowledges that I am more proficient than her and more at ease with the language, and even tells my nephew to study English with me instead.

But back then, I needed someone to believe I could do better.

So, there is a part of me that is proud that I am able to deal with real-life fatigue by writing and finding enjoyment in this hobby. But a much darker part of me tells me I'm not worthy and that I simply got lucky.

The Arrangement means a lot to me. I tend to dive right into fandoms and start writing for the character that caught my eye.

But I couldn't do that for Astarion... I am still unsure why. For those of you who have been here from my Miguel O'Hara days or when I first started posting about Astarion, you'll know The Arrangement was the first thing I ever posted for him.

Took me 2 weeks to get the first chapter out because I kept thinking I couldn't find a voice for Astarion. One that felt like him. After all, I'm always a step behind because I am not a native speaker. There will always be that looming feeling that I can't convey this story properly.

Even if you now know me for my Astarion smut, that wasn't even the driving force of my love for him.

It took me 2 months to feel comfortable writing smut for him. Why? I don't even know.

But The Arrangement feels different.

I love writing it and I love taking my liberties with the plot.

It's my opportunity to fully showcase my love for him.

I know not everyone likes it. I know some of you have dropped it. Some of you will drop it. But some will walk along this path with me, and I can't stress enough how your feedback and love help keep these negative thoughts at bay.

It's an internal work, though. It is not your job to validate my writing skills. This is not what puts food on my table. I am not looking to be published. I am looking for an escape. And it's so frustrating when my mind tries to rob me of joy even when it comes to a hobby.

"If this is a hobby why does it matter what others think or if they like what you write? Just have fun. Write for yourself."

And I do write for myself, but I share my work because I am hopeful my words can make someone's day. I seek that connection I never had growing up. Perhaps it sounds silly, but it's what makes the most sense in my head.

The Arrangement should be my pride and joy even if not perfect (nothing ever is, I suppose). And I'm exhausted of not feeling proud of it. I'm tired of this vicious cycle of self-doubt.

Don't get me wrong. I love writing smut. I think that's what I'm best at (well, in my opinion). I love exploring Astarion this way, too, but...

I don't know where I'm going with this... if anyone has made it this far, thank you, and sorry for the word vomit...

[hermetiqa]

What's your message today?

Daily Message: 02.08.24

Close your eyes and take a deep breath before picking a pile. If you feel drawn to more than one pile, it's alright, you may take the piles that you're drawn to. What's important is to take it how it resonates and leave what doesn't.

PAID READINGS

TIP JAR

FEEDBACK

NOTE: Please feel free to give me a feedback on my ask box about the reading! As well as tips on my Ko-fi. I would highly appreciate it and it'll be a huge help for me to save money for my tuition fee this year.

Pile 1

Hello, Pile 1! This is such a lovely day for a reminder. I'm getting that you're in a confused state right now. Perhaps you're confused about your environment, especially the people surrounding you. Some of your connections are not working anymore. Some people don't serve you anymore. This is because you're growing as a person and you're outgrowing them. Most of the time, you lose people along the way because the version of them doesn't go along with your new version, and that's okay. You outgrow not only yourself, but other people as well. This is your reminder to leave connections that no longer serve you. Cut off people who aren't happy for your growth and achievements in life. You don't deserve them in your life and you know this in your mind, but in your heart, you're still denying it. But one way or another, you'll realize that some people are just not meant to be in your life on the long-run, or perhaps forever. Some people don't appreciate you and you don't need these people. It's okay to let go of people who only love your miserable and unhealthy version, and never happy for your growth.

Pile 2

Hello, Pile 2! I'm seeing a lot of in denial here. I'm hearing that you're not seeing things clearly. You refuse to view things logically and you're having a hard time looking for new possibilities to have a better future. You're more of a living-in-the-present person and you're just going with the flow. But I'm getting that you're like this because you're too scared of the future. You have a lot of what ifs going on in your head. What if it doesn't work out this way? What if I regret this decision? What if I need to do this and that? What if I fail? What if I disappoint people in my life? This is your reminder that failing is a part of life, that's how you'll learn. Whenever you fail, you get up, then let yourself take the risk and fail again. If you're not going to take the risk, what's going to happen? Nothing. This is your sign to take the risk and grab the opportunity that was presented to you. You don't know whether a good future is waiting for you at the end of it. And you'll never know unless you take it. You're an adventurous person, so go and start your adventures.

Pile 3

Hello, Pile 3! I'm having a lot of emotions coming from your end. Your reading leans more towards relationships, specifically romantic relationships. I'm getting that you're in a relationship right now, whether this is a situationship or you're still dating or it's official. In any case, you might feel like the person you're dealing with is not giving you what you want or need. This person is not reciprocating your energy, efforts, and even love. You're scared of ending this connection with the person because they made you feel loved, but that's simply because no one did the bare minimum for you. But this person can't even do the bare minimum, they just do more than other people, even your friends and family. You have an emotional connection with this person, which is why it's quite difficult for you to end it. You're emotionally attached to them and you do love them. But you have to make a choice. I'm getting betrayal here. This person might be betraying you right now and they're taking the risk of losing you because for them, the grass is always greener somewhere else. I'm hearing a message that says take a break. Take a break from them and from your connection so you can actually reassess it. It's time to reassess this. You already went through a lot and this person won't be any different. Your heart might be sinking as you read this, and I know it feels heavy, but we all have to go through that so we can learn. This time is just for you to learn. Let go.

[thecherrytarot]

𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐨𝐟 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧.

what do you need to let go of?

pile 1 → pile 2 → pile 3

Pick the photo you feel the most drawn to and please remember that this is a general reading so take what resonates!!

listen to: chamber of reflection by Mac DeMarco.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏:

"No use looking out, it's within that brings that lonely feeling. understand that when you leave here, you'll be clear among the better men"

You need to let go of your fear of failure and accept the fact that mistakes are meant to teach you lessons the hard way. You need to let go of your limiting beliefs that were actually set by others for you. I'm getting the message that some of you want to move out of your house because you want to explore and learn more about this world but feel like your potential is being wasted by being stuck in your known surroundings. For some of you, this could be an overly protective parent figure who refuses to let you grow up (I hope this makes sense and doesn't sound too weird) and because of this you are stuck in a dilemma where you feel suffocated by the lack of freedom but at the same time, you doubt if you could achieve your dreams. Going back to the "being stuck in your surroundings" part, some of you might have even pretended to someone else to fit in just so you don't feel lonely and left out but I feel like the majority of you stopped this cause you realized that you were losing your true self to fit in with people who don't really care that much about you, just the person you pretended to be.

You need to let go of your habit of procrastination because you are afraid of the result. You are not only afraid of failing but also afraid of succeding and dealing with new, unknown experiences. You may feel like you are trapped in a situation which is beyond your control but deep down within you, you do know that you have the freedom to do what you want to do you just don't want to take the effort for it. You are holding yourself back from being the best version of yourself. Set boundaries and stand up for yourself assertively instead of stalling confrontations against the 'higher authority" who tells you that you can't do it.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐:

"Spend some time away, getting ready for the day you're born again. spend some time alone, understand that soon you'll run with better men"

You need to let go of your habit of neglecting yourself for the sake of helping others, to please them so that they do not feel disappointed in you. You need to protect yourself and take care of yourself first and then think about others. Many of you might be the eldest (or have to act like the eldest) children who have a lot of responsibilities and do not have enough time to focus on yourself. I heard someone defending themselves by saying "But I do skin care" this is more than that. many of you could also put all your focus on how you look but neglect other areas such as your diet, mental and physical health etc. Regardless of what it is, the message is to prioritise yourself and give others the space and the freedom to grow on their own.

You need to let go of your habit of building up walls that separate you from the actual reality. You may have felt like you were born and raised in hell and now your feelings and emotions have altered your viewpoint of the world that you see. You may feel like numbing your emotions and desires you are keeping yourself safe. Many of you could use this as a defence mechanism because you were hurt in your past and are now afraid of the present uncertainties. You may feel like "if I don't bring in any change, I'll be safe" but the universe is telling you to bring in the change that a tiny part of you wants. It is asking you to stop denying and avoid changes because you are afraid that it might break the facade of your strength. Let go of the things that no longer benefit you.

𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑:

"alone again"

(it was so difficult for me to get the messages cause the energy felt all over the place but the first message came out strong even though I feel like it is only for a certain number. i know the song is something else but I kept hearing Swing Lynn by Harmless so take however that resonates.)

You need to let go of your obsession with love/ future spouse readings. Sometimes you do not need to know every single detail about your future to feel a sense of control over the situation, confirmation of the future that you obsessively desire or whatever the reason is. There is no harm in reading them but there should be a limit, there are times when we are not meant to know something until it has happened and the best way to manifest something is the law of detachment.

You need to let go of your habit of struggling to say "no" even in situations you do not feel comfortable (like there are two cards indicating this) You need to assert your boundaries, needs and wants with confidence. You need to be honest with yourself and focus on prioritising your actual needs. Bringing discipline and action into your life will help you achieve your manifestation a lot faster than just simply waiting for it to arrive at your doorstep. This will help you bring the balance that you have always wanted. The other side of this is, that you need to let go of your fear of consequences, you may (sometimes unintentionally) give the 'decision-making' responsibilities to someone else so that if and when things go wrong you can blame someone else instead of yourself. It is important for you to take responsibility for your own actions and use them as opportunities to grow instead of feeling stuck in your self doubt.

You need to let go of numbing yourself from the discomfort and confront it. The wisdom, freedom and power that you search in others is already in you, just have to trust yourself and listen to it and give yourself an opportunity to grow. Reflect on your shadow self and learn to face your fears.

Please give feedback <3

[vulpixisananimal]

Pains and Patience

TW for self harm/dagger under the cut.

(You are sitting in a chair in the main room of the place you and your family were staying. Bonnie and Nille are around. You asked them to leave you alone for a bit. You can hear them talking in the distance. Your eyes are closed.)

(What does it look like?)

(One breath, two, three, and you're there. This blurry place that feels like a dream yet to be fully formed. Stretching above you so impossibly high was the favor tree. Around you it was pitch black, with stars dotting the skies.)

(It came to your mind naturally. It was... Strange, not a daydream, it was just... There. A place in your own mind that felt so... Real.)

(It's still growing.)

(It is. You turn around and that other part of you is there. Mal Du Pays. It fit here better than you did, it seems.)

(You still can't see the rest of it, can you.)

(No, I can't. You say. It's still the favor tree, just the tree. Where's loop?)

(Hiding, I expect.)

(You're very helpful.)

(I'm trying to keep you alive.)

(You shake your head, that's what it always said. Keep you alive. It was hard to believe when you'd come back to front to find you did something bad that you don't remember.)

(You look out to the stars. This place still felt off, like it was missing pieces. Every time you tried stepping beyond the tree you'd freeze up. Gripped by a fear you had never felt before, was fear even the right word?)

(You'll figure it out.)

(Right. We'll figure it out. We're getting a rest now after all. We'll figure out what's going on with Ramos, figure out why we're still Looping, THEN we'll deal with this disassociating, thing, whatever Odile called it.)

(Odile is not exactly a psychiatrist.)

(She's better than guessing.)

(I will not talk to her. You will not make me talk to her.)

(... Fine, for now, but eventually-)

"'Heyfrin!"

(Your snap to attention, back in reality, Bonnie was leaning in from the doorway. They looked a bit worried.)

"Hey Bonbon."

"Ramos showed up, Nille's distracting them right now."

(Huh?? You stood up.) "Here? Did they do anything?"

(Bonnie shook their head.) "Nuh uh, said they were looking for 'Beau and thought to stop by."

(You breath a sigh of relief.) "Alright, just act like you don't know anything, alright?"

"Duh, I know how to keep a secret."

(Walking to the front room area, Ramos was there talking to Nille. Casual conversation. They looked just as relaxed and cheery as the other loop. They didn't look like a kidnapper or anything, seeing you approach, they waved.)

(Do not get fooled by good acting.)

"Hello! You're Siffrin, right?"

(You waved back, smiling.) "That's me, Nille giving away my secrets again?"

"Your name's not exactly a secret, Siffy." (Nille said sarcasticly. Seemingly, she got the memo to act cool.) "Sorry Isabeau isn't in right now."

"That's fine." (Ramos said cheerily.) "Mind if I stick around untill he does?"

"Sure!" (Nille cut you off before you could say no. Great. Fantastic.)

(Maybe you could learn something.)

(You all headed back to the common area, walking and talking. Ramos making a bad joke and ruffling Bonnies hair, much to their annoyance.)

"So how'd y'all meet Isa?" (Ramos asked.)

"Met 'em a few weeks ago after getting de-frozen from time. Showed up to my place saying lil Bonnie helped save the country."

"YEAH!!! We kicked the Kings CRABBING BUTT!!"

"Language."

(You all chuckle.)

"I met 'Beau running from the curse. Nille told me to run when showed up at Bambouche and I did untill I passed out."

"You must be one tough kid then." (Ramos was smiling.)

"And don't you forget it!!!"

"What about you, Siffrin?"

"Oh, well." (How did it go again...) "I bumped into Mirabelle, Isa, and Odile by chance, off to save Vaugarde and all. They were fighting a sadness and I helped out. Asked me to join after that."

"Woah." (Ramos looked pretty engrosed in the story.) "It must have been real strong, Isa isn't a pushover."

"Oh, well, it was kinda strong." (You shrug.) "Not strong enough though, since I took it out in one hit."

(Ramos beamed, they leaned over and grabbed your hand.) "No way!! That's awesome!! I wish I coulda seen it!"

(You wince, and Ramos releases your hand.) "O-oh, sorry."

"'Frin doesn't like being touched." (Said Bonnie.)

"Ha, it's alright Bonnie." (You replied.) "It just took me by surprise."

(Why was Ramos so.... Relaxed? It didn't make any sense. If it was Ramos who tried grabbing Bonnie, why'd they come to visit? Where you wrong about them?)

(It's acting. Siffrin.)

"How's Isa been anyways?"

"Stupid." (Says Bonnie.)

"A good stupid." (Nille continues.) "Real bumble of emotions from what I've seen."

"Mmhm!" (You nod along.) "He's great, sure saving the country was stresful, but, Isabeau's been there with us the whole way."

"I'm glad!" (Ramos leaned back in their chair.) "Did he mention me at all?"

(You smile, of course he did.) "All the time!"

"Really?"

"Yeah! We went through a lot together, aparently you helped him a bunch? I've honestly been itching to meet you!"

(Wrong.)

(What?)

(That is wrong. What are you doing.)

(Bonnie was giving you a look, what do you mean? Don't you remember?)

"That's, wow!" (Ramos rubbed their neck.) "I didn't, think he'd mention me at all."

"Haha, you left quite the impression."

(Stop talking. You aren't acting.)

"Well, I gotta ask, what was it like? Saving the world."

"It, well, to be honest it didn't go great, not at the end." (Stop.)

"'Frin?" (Bonnie was looking between you and Ramos. Confused.)

(You continue.) "It should have been impossible getting to the King, really."

"Oh?"

(Stop, Siffrin.)

"Well, I shouldn't really talk about this, but if Isa trusts you, then I'll trust you."

(Siffrin, that's enough, stop talking.)

"But, the truth is--"

(. . .)

(. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .)

(It feels like a migrane with no pain. A force of will. A wave of intense, snapping bones. It feels like your brain gets dunked in ice. It feels like a lot of things, all of them hard to explain.)

(But you had to stop Siffrin from talking.)

(You stare at the stranger who's name is Ramos. Whatever Ramos could do, that was it. Siffrin was about to talk about the loops, the wish, everything. All that to an enemy.)

"Siffrin?" (Ramos was staring at you.) "Are you alright?"

(What did you do, Ramos. What did you do to Siffrins little head. You had a cold anger in your soul. Ramos had hurt you. Who are you, Ramos. What are you. You stand up.)

"'Feeling alright, Siffy?" (Nille asks.)

(You open your mouth. You ask a quesion.)

(You see all three of them wince. Nille is conused, Bonnie is gripping their head, Ramos is looking at you, afraid.)

"S-siffrin?? I, uh, didn't quite catch that." (You could see Nille trying to comprehend what you asked.)

(You look at Ramos, they looked confused, and pained. Did they not understand? You say something else.)

"H-hey cut it out, it's giving me a headache."

(Ramos is looking back at you. You can see a fear in their eyes. What do you look like to them right now. Like a monster? Good. You speak again.)

"I, I-I can't understand, please!"

"'F-frin..."

(You open your mouth. You want to hurt them. You want to know what they did. You need to. If they don't understand you, fine then. You'll just keep asking them. As long as it-)

"'Hurts..."

"Siffrin?" (Ramos was staring at you.) "Are you alright?"

(. . .)

(You stand up wordlessly. They didn't know the language. They didn't recognize it. So they weren't from home. So how could they make a wish. Was it dumb luck? Not likely.)

(But, Bonnie...)

(. . . You leave to your room. You ignore them calling after you. It didn't matter anyway.)

(You're tired. You looped again. Yes, it was only a few moments back, though. You could feel the nausea starting to catch up to you, but you forced yourself to continue. You're in your room. You grab your hat. As much as you told Siffrin your skin was sensitive, they ignored you. Thats why you wear a hat, stupid.)

(You Move fast. You go to the window. The jump out isn't that bad. You get up on the windowsil, and jump out. You land solidly, and run for the library.)

(The sprint gave you a chance to think. Ramos did something to Siffrin, and now Siffrin thought Ramos was some friend. It made you sick. What did Ramos do? Touch you? They did touch your hand. Was that it?)

(Why was Bonnie bleeding. Why were they bleeding that shade?)

(You ignore that question, for now.)

(You're at the library. You run inside. There you see Odile, Isabeau, and Mirabelle all about to leave with a couple books. You sprint over.)

"Siffrin?!?" (Mirabelle spots you first.) "What are you doing here? Did something happen???"

(You don't, can't, respond. Instead you go to Odile, who was holding the books, and tapped one.)

". . . What?" (Odile looked confused.)

"Uhh... Are you wondering if we found something?" (Isabeau spoke up. You nod.)

"Ah, well yes we found something. But is everything alright, Siffrin?"

(That didn't matter right now. You shake your head, and tap the book impatiently.)

"Alright alright." (Odile puts the books down on a nearby table and opens one, you follow.)

"Should, shouldn't we be worried??? If something bad happened??" (Mirabelle asked. She was scared.)

"Well, if Siffrin ran all the way here then I bet they're about to loop back anyways." (Isa said confidently. He was also scared.)

"Quite.. Ah here." (Odile got to a page in the book. Looking at it now, it was craftonomy. The page was on different crafts and what kind of tactile response they had with a body.) "This one, a strong scent of mint is often assosiated with potent Mind Craft."

(Mind craft.)

(Odile continued.) "An advanced craft type that's distantly related to body craft; its use is... contreversal. In Ka Bue it is explicitly banned."

"I was taught a little about mind craft at the House, about how it can be used to help with someones memory, or to forget a traumatic experience." (Mirabelle added.) "We weren't ever taught it, though."

"I mostly see it in fiction. Mind crontroll, brainwashing, spooky stuff like that." (Isabeau comments.)

(You keep looking over the page. Strong sense of mint. Confusion. Hard to master. That must be it. Ramos' touch gripped Siffrins mind. You nod.)

"Compared to time craft it shouldn't be hard to undo. Unless it's powered by a wish." (Odile muses.) "Tell the next me about it then, if we don't have time here."

(You nod. It was about time for that then. Your hand slips into your cloak and to your dagger.)

(. . . Isabeau is looking at you.)

(There's an awkward silence. Odile breaks it.) "Er, actually, Mirabelle, Isabeau, there's some complicated intricacies I'll need to explain. Could you go make sure Ramos doesn't disturb us?"

"Huh?? I-I mean-"

"Leave it to us, M'dame!" (With that, Isabeau rushes to the library entrance, Mirabelle hesitated, but followed. You look up at Odile.)

". . ."

(. . .)

(There is a painful silence.)

"I, wanted to ask you something. I did not feel comfortable asking with those two around." (she eventually said. Looking at her face, it was stressed, worried.)

(she continued.) "Siffrin, or, if you want to be called that. Please be honest with me. Do you... Use your dagger in order to loop back."

(Oh Odile, still she surprises you. You tilt your head slightly as if to say "go on.")

"You've had... Moments ever since we defeated the King, and, forgive me if I'm being insensitive, you always seemed to not Care too much about your own wounds." (She paused, clearly uncomfortable.) "That, combined with... With everything, really. It would make sense."

(. . . You nod.)

". . . Is it the only way?"

(You put up a wavy hand. Not sure.)

"Is it the only consistent way? That you know of at least."

(You nod.)

". . . It, does it hurt?"

(You nod. Odile is looking at you, brow creased. She pinches the bridge of her nose. After a moment, and taking a breath, she continues.)

". . . In a next loop. We can, figure out something better than that. If you tell me I promised to keep it secret from the others, I probably will, too."

(You nod, and file that away with Odile's other offer. She was reaching out to you. Why. You don't trust her.)

". . . Thank you, Siffrin." (She takes a breath, and turns her back to you, waiting. Ah, she doesn't want to see.)

(Whatever. It's time. You take out your dagger and. . .)

(. . .)

(It still hurts.)

[simplyreveries]

Hey, if the request are open and that you're okay with angst, can I ask the Diasomnia dorm loving a male or gn!reader that doesn't love them back ? The Reader is aromantic and just can't love.

Ignore it if you don't want to write ! And don't forget to have a good day.

malleus draconia

he is slightly taken aback when you don't reciprocate his feelings. he tends to understand and interpret things wrongly- i mean, especially coming from humans. he wasn't expecting this, it also is understandably new to him as well. there just may have been a surprise like mentioned, he was a little saddened because when he feels, he feels strongly. but he doesn't actually find himself to really be all that upset about it soon after and understanding you better.

if anything, malleus would be quite content and satisfied if you didn't let his initial feelings get in the way of that. he would find himself just wanting you okay and you to be happy- even if that doesn't mean it's with him in a romantic sense. you've genuinely showed him and treated him with such kindness he thinks you deserve nothing but that as well. he will continue to be with you, even if its platonically.

lilia vanrouge

he never really confessed to you, because he already had some sense of understanding that you'll never reciprocate those feelings. lilia is observant-- so even if you don't mention it to him, he easily picks up on your feelings and generally who you are. never seemed to bring it up though, he only keeps note. now, lilia has lived for several hundred years, he's experienced many kinds of feelings, heartbreaks, and such- so though he does love hard at times he has learned to not take it completely to heart.

lilia would still continue to watch over you and cherish you as a friend and that only. though yes, his feelings may linger in him for a while, he is well aware that the emotions will pass... eventually. it doesn't stop him from hanging out with you, popping up randomly and surprising you at school to talk with you, inviting you to diasomnia for tea. he'll never erase the current relationship the two of you have over his own feelings, you're too dear to him.

silver

he is conflicted, when he first realizes that he is starting to fall for you, it hits him like a brick. he doesn't know how to handle these emotions since he's never had much of the opportunity to experience them. you're his friend, who he can't help but feel enamored by. silver always seem to have this troubled look on his face more and more as time goes on. he notices that you probably wouldn't feel the same way, it wasn't until you offhandedly mention something about it him in conversation. you two are close, so it felt natural to.

it was then he fully understood, so he never confessed to you. he would silently nod and listen as you talked. he keeps it to himself- even if he can't be with you like that, he wants to be by your side still. you're a good soul and he'll seem to never shake off the feelings of protectiveness over someone like you. he's more than willing to stay by you, even as a friend.

sebek zigvolt

when it comes to sebek dealing with his growing feelings for you, you either can tell it from a mile away or think he hates you from his mixed signals. when he confesses to you, its abrupt and loud out of his own nervousness, that eventually turns into uncharacteristically quiet and quieter. when you deny his feelings, he doesn't understand, only because at first, he interpreted it as you genuinely not liking who he is. that is until you begin to carefully explain why not.

sebek just like the rest of diasomnia, will still want some sort of friendship with you. though, it does take him a while to go through the feelings of rejection and handling these things- he doesn't want to let you go. he is a knight; he always has a sense of dedication.

[yesimwriting]

Okay?

--

A/n guess who watched the five nights at freddy's movie for matthew lillard and josh hutcherson and actually really liked it, so i wrote this :)

Summary: The one good thing about working the nightshift? You're always there when Mike gets back.

----

Your nails press into the fabric bundled on your lap. It's simple, the way you pinch and fold the corner of the blanket before straightening it again. The gesture is clearly subconscious, just something for your hands to do while your eyes remain focused on the TV screen. Mike should be doing the exact same thing.

He should be staring at the television, taking in the end of the movie you were watching when he got home from work. A classic, you had called it, expressing your shock when Mike had innocently mentioned that he'd never seen it.

Normally, a reaction like that would have left some small part of him tangled in on itself. But from you, it felt gentle. That's part of the appeal of having you around. You're warm and everything about you is so easy it circles around back to difficult.

Stop it. Mike's getting used to scolding himself on late nights and early mornings that blur together like this. He's always begging himself not to notice the way your presence manages to tug at him.

Mike swallows once, forcing his head to snap back to the screen. The credits are rolling and the only thing he's gathered is maybe the name of one character and the way you part your lips slightly to exhale when something intense happens. Great.

"See?" You turn your head, tugging at the blanket, pulling more of it onto your legs. "It's good." You shift so that you can face him, your knee briefly brushing against his leg. "Right?"

There's so much optimism in the way you're looking at him, wide eyes and an expecting, almost smile, that a part of him feels a little guilty for not having retained anything.

"It was...good," he starts slowly, his pace a beat too slow to feel natural, "But I don't know about classic."

Your mouth falls open in a dramatized display of shock before your lips pull together into an offended pout. "You know it was that good." Not your most profound argument, but it's late and your everything's starting to feel heavier. It's taking enough energy to keep the weight of your eyelids from overpowering the desire to talk to him. "You're just being difficult."

Mike's eyebrows draw together, equal parts surprised and amused. You're not exactly closed off when you're fully coherent, but his schedule and your position as an ever growing babysitter for Abby has let him learn that a drowsy you doesn't shy away from bluntness. You'll call him out more openly in a way that you'd just keep in your head if you were better rested.

"Difficult?" You nod, solidifying your stance. He lets out a partial sigh that's meant to hold the place of a laugh. "I only saw the last fifteen minutes."

You frown dismissively, like Mike should know better than to see that fact as relevant. "Then I'll have to show you--" Your sentence is broken by a small yawn that you cover with your hand. "The rest some time."

The potential for intentional plans hits him hard enough to briefly chase away his drowsiness. "Yeah." He blinks hard, trying not to think about it too much. You say a lot of things when you're tired. "Some time."

You nod, the motion distinct, like you guys really have just settled something important. A cruel sort of warmth begins to crawl up his chest and settles against his neck. He needs to let it go, to get back to only seeing you as an outgoing, friendly face that's always willing to help him out with Abby. Nothing good can come from him developing feelings for you that are more than friendly. He'd mess it up in one way or another and you'd walk away and he...

Mike can't deal with the thought of you walking away. And more importantly, Abby shouldn't have to.

"Good." You push yourself so that your back's off the couch. The blanket shifts, nearly sliding over your knee before you catch it. "I should--I should get going...it's late."

Right. This part of the night. The awareness of what comes next constricts his airways. It must, there's no other explanation for the way he struggles to take a full breath. "You didn't drive today."

For the first time since the movie ended, you drop your attention to your lap. "Uh...no." You squeeze your hands together. "The engine's still a little..."

Mike sighs. Sometimes it feels like your car is more of a topic of conversation than actual guaranteed mode of transportation. Maybe if you let him pay you for babysitting, you wouldn't constantly be fighting with an engine that's likely significantly older than Abby.

The thought of you being forced to brave the cold whenever your car's having what you usually refer to as an "episode" digs at him strangely. Mike also doesn't love the thought of you walking here alone so late.

"Maybe if you let me pay you for watching Abby." The sentence is more of a huff than Mike wanted it to be, a pinch of real annoyance leaking into his voice.

You frown. "It's too late for this." The TV's low lighting doesn't let Mike read your expression fully. "And I already told you, it feels weird to charge friends for favors."

The word friend sticks out in a way Mike doesn't get. It's meaning is suddenly too abstract and concrete all at once. "Weirder than guessing whether or not your truck's going to work every morning?"

You roll your eyes, pulling more of the blanket onto your lap. "It's not every morning." He raises his eyebrows at that. "Seriously. Rebecca is fine." The name nearly forces him to abandon his point. Abby had picked it out early on into knowing you. "She's just occasionally temperamental."

"Occasionally." He ignores your heavy glare. "You could..." Mike's throat goes dry. He knows what the next part in your usual exchange is. "Stay over..." The words feel much too slow, too careful, to come off as casually as Mike wanted them to. "If you want."

Staying over used to be as casual as an extra throw blanket on the couch. Then, overly cold weather paired with difficulty sleeping and the kind of thoughtless decisions people only ever make while half asleep morphed it into something else. When it feels like more work than it's worth to get you back home, the two of you usually end up in Mike's room.

It's all perfectly innocent and carefully unspoken. The two of you barely let your hands touch and even when you're genuinely half asleep, you don't say anything you wouldn't say anywhere else, and yet it's still different. Sometimes it's different enough to help Mike sleep better than the pills.

You nod, eyes now focused on the the throw blanket. Something about your expression makes Mike wonder if you're debating something. "See? If I let you pay me, I'd have to worry about things like overstaying my welcome."

Mike nods, not quite meeting your gaze. "Like that'd stop you."

Playing into the bit, you pretend to gasp before sitting up a little straighter. You raise a fist, gently bumping your knuckles against his arm. The gesture leaves that uneasy warmth clawing its way up Mike's neck.

----

You can't remember the ceiling of Mike's room becoming familiar. The soft grooves that you have to squint to make out in the dark, invisible shapes that you pretend to trace when you need a distraction.

Usually, what you need to be distracted from is Mike's proximity. Tonight, though, Mike's so curled in on himself in a way that has to--at best--border on uncomfortable. That paired with his stiffer than usual demeanor has to mean something.

You don't get why Mike's positioning reads as concerning to you until it clicks. He's pulled into himself like he wants to disappear.

The thought cracks at your heart. You and Mike are a lot more comfortable than you were when you first met. But it hasn't been that long, and you get the sense that Mike and Abby move as a family unit that keep outsiders at a safe distance. Not cold or unwelcoming, just cautious. There's so much you appreciate about their friendship, about Mike, and you know that it'd be easy to blow up.

Maybe you can pretend to be too close to sleep to notice and cautiously bring up your concern in the morning. A passive comment, an opening that Mike can take if he wants to.

But then your body betrays the rational thoughts of your mind and you turn your head enough to see the slope of Mike's back. It hurts enough to force you to break your silence. "Mike?"

A beat of silence that has you contemplating the possibility that he already fell asleep like that. That could be a sign, the universe's way of intervening so that you don't ruin a relationship that has yet been given the opportunity to cement itself.

"Yeah," he mumbles, voice low and uncharacteristically raspy. Mike doesn't turn over, which might not mean anything, but still makes you frown. "You okay?"

The question snaps you out of your train of thought. Of course Mike's wondering if you're okay. It's not that the two of you never talk before falling asleep, but the two of you have been quiet for so long, and now you're bothering him because of--what? A gut feeling?

"Yeah," you whisper back, a little too quickly, "Yeah, I'm--" You cut yourself off, not sure where you're going with this. You're not even sure what you're worried about, or what you want to ask. "Are you?" Echoing the question makes you feel much smaller than you did a second ago. "Okay?"

Another stretch of silence. "Yeah."

It'd be easy to leave it at that. You should leave it at that. "Okay." You swallow, trying to figure out what you're even looking for. "Because if--if you--" You sigh, eyes focusing on his back. "I don't know what it is, and it might be in my head, but you seem kind of..." You trail off, incapable of explaining it any better.

Mike sighs. You don't know what to make of the sound until the mattress shifts beneath the adjustment of his weight. Mike moves so that he's lying flat on his back. It's instinct to push yourself back to give him the space he needs to adjust. Despite your exhaustion, you lift your head, propping yourself up on one elbow.

His eyes are open. You're surprised by how coherent he seems. "I'm okay."

You study him much more openly than you've ever let yourself. His tone is sure enough and even though it's dark, you can feel that his eyes are on you. It's convincing...a little too convincing when he could have just pointed out that you're acting kind of crazy.

"Abby's right," you mumble, "You're a bad liar."

"I'm not--" Mike stops himself, finding it a little harder to hold your gaze and keep his voice steady. There's so much patience in the way you're watching him. "I'm fine, just tired."

You don't fully believe him, but a part of you wants to and there's no way you're getting anywhere tonight. You'll keep trying, and when Mike's ready to talk, he'll talk. Rationally, you know that letting him think you believe him isn't the end of the world. It's not like you're giving up on him. But the word tired had come out so fragilely.

Without your permission, the hand that's not tucked against your cheek reaches forward. Your fingers brush against the back of his wrist. The contact leaves air tangled in your lungs. When the world doesn't end and Mike doesn't pull away or give any indication that there's something wrong, you start to intertwine your fingers. Mike lets you, so stiff you'd consider him passive if it wasn't for the way he squeezed your hand back.

Another wave of silence takes over, this one lasting so long you're not sure what's supposed to come next. Maybe you should have laid back down and fallen asleep already. "You guys talk about me?"

The question's almost enough to make you laugh. "Yeah," it's broken up through a partial giggle as you move to lay down again, "The other day, right after you left Abby started th--" His head is turned towards you, eyebrows pulled together skeptically. Maybe some things are left better said just between you and Abby. "Never mind, I--I forgot that when you leave Abby and I just sit in respectful silence until you get back."

"Mhm," he breathes, his hold on your hand briefly tightening in a comforting squeeze. "Are you going to sleep now?"

The question reminds you of the heaviness pulling at your eyelids. "Yeah." You're satisfied with ending it here. For now. "Goodnight."

He lets out a huff of air that you can't interpret. His thumb drags over your knuckles slowly. "Goodnight."

[burplewrites]

saudade | tamarack & qiu

𓆉 | fandom: our life: now & forever

𓆉 | characters: tamarack, qiu, reader

𓆉 | word count: 1,075 words 5,946 characters

𓆉 | a/n: this story is sort of in qiu's pov, and about grief and stuff!! i don't think its too sad, just an experience but you have been warned!

𓆉 | quick summary: y/n passed. the world just needs to learn how to deal.

saudade is an emotional state of melancholic or profoundly nostalgic longing for a beloved yet absent something or someone.

“and you two are gonna grow up someday and i’m gonna grow up too, but that’s never gonna stop us from being the same age. cool.” that’s what they said, eight years ago, when they first met y/n and tamarack for the first time after the duo waltzed their way into their life.

ever since that fateful day, the three were friends, best friends. even with the little break of their friendship from ‘personal problems and moody feelings’ as y/n used to say, y/n brought them together again and reminded them why they were friends in the first place.

their friendship only got better from then on, and they committed to bettering themselves and each other, talking about problems, and about random thoughts that entered their minds. at least, that’s what qiu thought. he thought that they all told each other everything, all their stupid secrets, random thoughts in the middle of the night, things that would be considered too much information for other people. so why didn’t y/n tell them, not tamarack or him, anything about what they were going through? why didn’t they say anything at all?

they never expressed pain, or acted like they were suffering at all. they were always smiling, expressing their positive emotions with not a care in the world. qiu loved them for that. they had been crushing on each other for a while, qiu knew that, y/n knew that, and even tamarack, who had to watch the whole thing unfold in front of her, knew that. they just never got together, and now they would never get the chance to.

it was only a year ago when their life changed. when tamarack yelled in the middle of the night, alarming everyone out of their drowsy state, y/n was having trouble breathing, and was trying to get upstairs to their mother's room without disturbing their best friends on the couch. their limbs started giving out, making them fall to the floor. that whole night was a blur for qiu and tamarack alike. watching their best friend’s mom trying to help y/n take some breaths as they all cried, seeing the tiredness in y/n’s eyes, like they’ve been fighting this for years and was finally starting to give up, and opal’s sobs as she begged her only child to keep trying, to keep breathing. tamarack clutched hard onto qiu that day, the shock causing her to freeze up.

hearing their best friend's last words, being so weak, so quiet, yet so genuine. it was like y/n trying to fully get everything out like they knew this would be the end.

"hey its okay, you're okay… you're okay. i love you guys so much, more than you'll ever know."

that's what they whispered, as the paramedics took them away. a smile never left their face, even with the ventilator on their face and the paramedics checking their vitals on the way out the door. they died on the way to the hospital. even to the end, they were caring for others.

opal changed as a person after that. having to bury your only child, someone who you watched grow up, someone who you experienced their good days and bad days, and was just expected to keep moving. but that was impossible, how could she? her world stopped that day but everyone kept moving, the world kept spinning at the same speed it always did, no faster, no slower.

but y/n was gone.

tamarack put her whole being into her cello practice since y/n always seemed to like it when she played for them. she even played a song she wrote at the funeral; a song that was supposed to be for her best friend. one that they were somewhat writing together. she still tried being normal, helping opal with whatever she needed, but never trying to pressure her. it was tamarack's form of escape. if she could be in the house that y/n was in, surrounded by all the things that made them, them… that would be enough. it had to be enough. qiu simply regressed into themself. it was like they were back to when they were fourteen. they stayed outside sitting by their ‘hideout’; hiding away from the world. tamarack tried to stay with him some days, when qiu wanted the company and couldn’t deal with being alone without someone to talk to, someone who understood, but other times it was too overwhelming and they preferred to be alone.

life changed. golden grove moved on, and people found other things to talk about, but sometimes things brought them back to that day one year ago.

especially today, the one-year anniversary of y/n’s death. three hundred and sixty-five days without them. it was early morning, around five am, and qiu biked to the cemetery to just be with them alone. they knew tamarack would be coming in the morning after she woke up, and opal would be coming in the afternoon, so this was the best option. plus they couldn’t sleep.

qiu never knew they could cry that much. every time they came to visit, to talk about something exciting that happened, or something weird, or anything really, they would end up breaking into sobs each time, gasping for air by the time their tears ran out.

‘why did you even have to come into my life if you were going to leave it partway?’

that was a question that they asked themselves multiple times and always felt bad for thinking about it after. they knew tamarack felt the same. tamarack was the first of the two to mention that thought out loud.

but it was true, wasn’t it? they never regretted having y/n in their life. everyone's life shone so much brighter with them there, like the sun on a summer day, but with the sun gone it gets darker. the sun always comes back, but y/n wouldn't. y/n was dead. they were gone, and they were going to stay gone.

no matter how much opal begged, how much they all hoped and dreamt, y/n was not coming back. they were never coming back. they had been gone for the last three hundred sixty-five days, they would be gone for the next year, and the years after that. and nothing could change that.

so as qiu sat there, laying by their grave while talking about everything and anything, all they could really do was hope y/n was there and listening.

[fimmiest]

I would - huh yunjin x fem!reader

sypnosy: "i’m sorry" why was that so hard to say back then? Now, no matter how much I yell, you can’t hear me.

TW: major character death, suicide, swearing

tags: angst, bandmates au, kinda inspired by the anime 'given'

"jen im not so sure-"

"wait listen to me" you feel her grabbing your hand, yunjin knowing very well the act will grab your attention as she repeats her words again.

"it's not a big deal, you know two of the band members already. we are just needing a temporary singer, and you know you sing really well y/n. it'll be fun, i promise" her thumb was moving softly against your hand.

the premise was you being the singer for yunjin's band. you knew it wasn't something big she always said the band is a hobby, but growing up with yunjin you know how serious and passionate she is about music. how she dedicates her time writing songs and learning how to play new instruments, that side of hers always fascinated you.

as for you, you didn't had the talent like yunjin have with instruments but between karaoke dates you two had, your 'signing in the shower ability' managed to impress yunjin and since then she always compliment you for it.

even if yunjin says it isn't something big, you couldn't help it but to feel hesitant, what if you let her down? if you don't match the energy of the others what will happen?

"babe, hey look at me" your nervous habit of you chewing your lips didn't go unnoticed by yunjin, she gets closer, her warm hands touching your cheeks. "im not saying you have to, i-"

"i accept" you interrupt her "i.. i can be the singer. yeah, i will" your words make the expression of yunjin go to worry to excitement.

"really??" she hugs you tightly after you nod your head "oh my god, woah, im so glad, i swear I'm going to compensate you after" yunjin says and starts to shower your face with kisses "you're the best, thank you" the happiness of her actions makes you believe that you won't regret accepting that offer.

—

"remind me again why are we at the beach in this godly weather" you huff in frustration, hugging yunjin's warm jacket against your body more closely.

yunjin laughs at you and twirls around before answering "you said you never came here before!! it's pretty look at the scenery, like 'woah' right? and it isn't that cold too.." she continues, a shiver of cold running through her body soon after her words.

"jen summer is literally in two month, could've we waited?? you're a menace i swear" you complain again. of course the horizon was pretty, the ocean was calm and the day was near it ending, making the sky get a pretty orange color, but a cold breeze after another makes the beautiful moment ruined to you.

yunjin sudden sneeze makes you frown worried "yeah it is freezing, 'woah' my ass, can we go home now?" she grumbles, rubbing her arms to warm her own self. you roll your eyes at her antics and push her away lightly "dumbass, it was your idea"

"uh-huh, and i'm proud of it. now you won't forget i was the first one who brought you here, even if it was freezing cold." yunjin announces, pointing at herself proudly.

"uhm, i would remember it even better without this cold"

"yeah, you'll definitely forget this"

—

the first practice didn't go as bad as you imagined, the easy going vibe of the girls made you relaxed enough to sing confidently.

yunjin was waiting for your exit and talking to the girls of the band, getting to her side you intertwining your hands with yunjin, the taller girl smiles and press a sweet kiss on your forehead.

"hey we are going to hang out at chaewon house, do you want to go? we usually try to write lyrics but mainly is just because aunt kim cooks really well so we just eat good dinner for free" she explains happily and you see chaewon shaking her head at yunjin's words.

you stare a moment at yunjin who stares back at you confusedly. you take a few steps back pulling yunjing by the hand, just enough to make sure the others wouldn't listen

"yun..didn't we agree in making dinner together at my house today? you who suggested it, as a date"

"oh.." yunjin blinks, thrown off guard by not remembering that. "i mean, we can make it another day, no? like, we will eat for free. effortlessly. can't be better than that right?"

you stay quiet for a moment, a ache in your heart burning. what yunjin didn't knew was that you already had the dinner ready since the morning, excited to try the new recipe you made it ahead of time. but at that moment, you couldn't bring yourself to tell yunjin that.

her name being called by the bandmates pressured you to answer her question, her expectant gaze always making way to convince you of everything.

you sigh internally in defeat, putting a smile that didn't reach your eyes, you agree to yunjin. who didn't press any further and started to make her way towards chaewon's house with you.

—

as a kid yunjin was always full of energy, jumping and running around on the residential playground was her favorite thing to do. even if she was the only kid there, the neighborhood didn't had too many kids, and the ones it had yunjin didn't meet as much since her school had a different schedule.

so when she saw the little you, quietly sitting under a tree, she was surprised. and she was so happy when you agreed to be her friend, her 'pretty friend' she said to you. yunjin still thinks you agreed because of the candy she gave you that day.

growing up, yunjin liked even more to spend time with you. she was older by two years but yunjn admired how you didn't back down with her playful nature, there was a unspoken understanding between you two that by being in each other company was enough to have fun.

when yunjin realized she had fallen in love with you, wanting to be more then just friends. she surpressed it over months, afraid to take the risk and change the dynamic between you two.

when yunjin confessed, you never had seen her looking so different.

she was mixing her words and shifting her feet anxiously, waiting for your answer, she still looked hopeful as ever.

and even if you wanted to deny her and say you didn't felt the same, it was impossible, you didn't want to see her disappointed in you.

you didn't want to see yunjin looking at you the same way your mother looked when you denied something.

you didn't want the treatment you mother gave you that time when you refused something.

you learned from your mother to not deny the older ones, so you couldn't deny yunjin, right?

so as always, you accept yunjin words, and the pretty smile and warm hug yunjin gave you back told you you choose it right.

—

waiting for yunjin to pick you up after class was a common thing for you. it was the perfect time for you two to spend time together and talk about how was the day.

you were specially excited for today because yunjin said she was going to compensate for not being able to spend much time with you recently, you admired how she was focusing between her work and writing new songs to the band since you guys had a performance coming at the end of the month. you understood it all, but why she was so late?

thirty minutes had pass since you texted her to pick you up, two missed calls. when you called again at the third time, after ten seconds and at the last moment, yunjin picked up.

"jen -"

"y/nnie!! babe, heyy." a bunch of loud noises coming from the call made you wince and move the phone away from your ear, distincted loud music and muffled voices could be heard coming from the line.

"where are you yun?.. are you coming to pick me up" the noises coming from yunjin line told you the situation probably wasn't going to happen, but you asked anyway, already chewing on your lips nervously.

"what? i'm.." sudden words could be heard and the audio got muffled for a moment "babygirl hey, sorry for the noises. hm, I.. can we talk later? I'll pass by your apartment, how about that? I'm really sorry to not picking you up today, just called a cab to you by the way. but the boss invited everyone to drink and you know how it goes.. " despite the muffled noises in the background, yunjin sounded more clear this time, a tone in her voice you couldn't catch, but it was enough to reassure you. sighing in defeat you knew you didn't had too much choices, so you agreed in meeting her later.

but when you heard the soft knocks on your door few hours later, a discomfortable feeling took hold in you.

"you could've told me you weren't going to pick me up." you grumble after yunjin move back from the hug, which you barely returned.

"what?"

"you.. didn't answered me and I was there. waiting. for a second I thought something had happen but" you scoff in disbelief "when you picked up you sounded like having fun and.. i just.. can't believe it. was it hard to just text me back for a second?" you finish. sounding bitter and clearly upset, even if your intention wasn't blaming on yunjin, you couldn't help at the bite and accusation in your voice.

for a moment, the apartment became silent. yunjin stared back at you blankly. her expression shifted from confusion to anger as she processed your words.

"you know how I hate to wait for these things yunjin, we've barely seen each other this week. why didn't you just said n-"

"ooh ho, yeah, because just from one minute the princess can't wait, and wants everything by her rules." yunjin bites back, obviously annoyed.

"what?? my rules? i do everything you say yunjin, haven't you noticed? and when I ask for it you-"

"yeah yeah, if you knew how stressed i have been through the week. you have done nothing. if I say to you die for me you certainly wouldn't y/n." you scoff in amusent at yunjin's words, not believing what she just had said.

"go to your house yunjin. I don't want to fight over this" you tried your best to say it confidently but it came out so fragile that you hated yourself because of it. yunjin was about to speak again but instead let out an exasperated sigh and walks away, leaving your apartment. and leaving you with a deafening silence and a emptiness inside.

—

what yunjin didn't know, and unfortunately discovered later. is that you always did what she asked, whatever it was.

she spent the next day feeling incredibly guilty by her action and words, she took out her frustrations all on you and she wanted nothing more than to go back to you, apologize for what she did. trying to call you wasn't working, and the sinking feeling in yunjin's heart grew with each unanswered call.

deciding to take matters into her own hands, she drove to your house, with shaky hands, yunjin opened the front door and stepped into the strangely silent house.

she called out your name, her voice filled with a mixture of fear and hope. here was no response, just a haunting silence that surrounded her.

there didn't seem to have anything out of place, the shoes you always used when going out was untouched by the entrance. scanning around the living room yunjin found nothing but a pair of beer cans scattered around, that she found strange, you didn't usually drink.

as yunjin reached your bedroom door, a sense of dread washed over her. If only she had known that her impulsive behavior would lead to this, she would have chosen her words and actions more carefully.

her eyes scanned the room, seen even more empty alcoholic drinks on the ground, and then yunjin saw you.

hanging lifelessly from the ceiling, your body swaying slightly, as if caught in the final moments of a tragic dance.

the sight struck yunjin like a lightning bolt, freezing her in place. time seemed to stand still as she took in the devastating scene before her.

and yunjin swore, that if she could go back, just for a moment. she would give her all, just to have you again. for a moment, she would have given you everything.

note: music in the sypnosy is "i would by day6". (woah angst so hard to write tbh, lmk if I missed any important tag please) remember to drink water and stay safe guys <3

[jacevelaryonswife]

ㅤㅤNSFW ALPHABET | KLMNOPRSTUVWXYZ

This a request by anon and was really challenging. Also, reader is Fem!Targ, but, there are no mentions of her appearance, it’s quite neutral actually.

⌲warnings: mentions of sex (course), explicit sexual content, don’t read if you’re a underage. English is not my first language.

jacaerys velaryon masterlist

K - Kink

I don't see him having any kind of kink other than enjoying mild domination from both sides. You see, he's not necessarily a sub — he spends a good deal of sex on top or in some position of power — and he doesn't even practice domination the way we know it today. Is different. He likes it when you ride him and don't let him touch your body, likes it when you pull his hair harder, likes it when you tease him in all the ways only you know how and rides him hard to the limit. But he also likes to “dominate”. He loves to know that you are enjoying it and that he is responsible for your moans and sounds and only he can make you feel that way.

L - Location

Mostly chambers, specifically bed, but it can take place outside the castle with the sky witnessing the love between you. It's good to define that Jace will never make any sexual passes around other people, he values discretion and privacy. Which doesn't mean he won't make love in a public place. It can happen at night outside the palace, in or out of the sea with only the gods watching such obscenity, but usually he prefers to have you in the comfort of his bed.

M - Mastubation

Before marriage it wasn't something he took pride in doing. Imagine the following scene: after long High Valyrian lessons, Jacaerys hurries to his chambers feeling the growing erection that leaves him mortified. He quickly removes his pants and pumps his cock eagerly. A vision, isn't it? After marriage he longs for your hands, it's fucking heaven and yours is so much better than his. He almost gags when you move his warm, soft member while holding your hair tightly. After marriage he loves to be touched by you.

And doesn't think you'll be neglected. When he discovers the effect of the mound between your legs and that he can use his fingers to satisfy you, mmm, the horizon really opens up for him.

N - Nicknames

Jace likes to use nicknames and pet names to communicate with you, just as he likes you to use them with him. My love, my darling, honey… all those and more for his beautiful wife. In sex he repeats all those mentioned above, but he can be a little more daring in calling you his queen close to your ear, as if it were a secret that only you can hear. After all, you are his queen. He likes it when you call him "my dragon", but trust me, there's nothing that makes him harder to hear you revere him as your king. Forget the other nicknames, even "my dragon" doesn't do half the effect that "my king" does. His thrusts will increase as the two of you make love intensely until you are fully satisfied.

O - Oral sex

The discovery of mouth’s function in sexual activities was overwhelming. Jace had read (with wide eyes) and heard from some men about how to satisfy a woman with his lips, but it was very different to hear/read about than to do. He was nervous as he settled between your legs and held your thighs awkwardly, what was he supposed to do? Kiss? lick? He tried both, first openly kissing your sweet femininity and then tentatively licking a long strip. It takes a while for him to learn to eat you properly, but unlike a dinner table, Jace isn't as well mannered when he's between your legs, he really tastes everything you have to offer and delights in your cunt. He loves to see you sensitive and excited when he makes you cum.

Speaking of cumming, I've already mentioned that his favorite way to cum is in your mouth. When you get down on him the first time he is shocked and anxious, truly shocked, he breaks down fast with parted lip and sweaty forehead. He loves when you takes him in your mouth, it's so sexy and almost obscene as he moans and tangles you hair with his hand. He doesn't dare look anywhere other than closing his eyes in pure pleasure.

P - Positions

Missionary is a recurring position, especially the first few times. Jace likes to feel intimate with you and have his eyes on you, he loves when you ride him lying down or sitting up in bed. These three positions are the most recurring, but he's not opposed to new adventures when you suggest it. Eventually he can get behind you when things get hotter and fuck you with his hands firmly on your waist and ass. He still prefers to see your face, but you are also a beautiful sight from the back.

Q - Quickie

Imagine teasing him all day, palming under the table briefly, stealing indecent kisses and touching in the halls of Dragonstone, kneeling in front of him to pretend to pick up the flower that fell (purposefully dropped) from your hand to encourage his imagination. He doesn't resist. When you arrive in the shared chambers he throws you on the bed and climbs on top of you like a predator. You have a fast and hard sex, with no foreplay or touching, just mind-blowing penetration that makes you come hard.

R - Risk

He will never do anything that could hurt you. It takes a while for Jace to do bold things in four walls, at first he's a little embarrassed, it feels wrong, but it feels so good. Still nothing that puts the two of you at risk of getting hurt or getting caught by anyone. It almost happened once that his mother saw the two of you inappropriately kissing before you entered the room, since then he makes sure no one is around.

S - Speed

Depends on the moment. Jace usually progresses from slow movements to fast ones, but if things start spicy his thrusts will be faster and stronger right from the start, robbing you of all the air in your body. If the situation is romantic he will be slow and sexy, crawling in and out of you with love and care. He loves making love to you romantically and whispering sweet/turn-on things in his ear.

T - Tease

Believe it or not, Jace enjoys a little teasing. Out of his chambers, when no one is around, he teases you with sweet kisses on your neck and squeezes around your waist, in sex he does the same only with extras. He licks behind your ear when he finds it makes you squeeze, he circles your pearl with his thumb and then stops on purpose (you really hate when he does this and you know it's on purpose because he doesn't hide the smirk).

U - Unusual (humor)

Unusual things to happen during sex: Jace doesn't care about your pleasure and well-being, he doesn't moan louder than he should and gets embarrassed if anyone hears, he doesn't understand the position you want and almost falls off the bed when trying to perform.

V - Volume

He's quite vocal, especially the first few times, but he's not thunderous. He groans with every thrust of your hips against his, especially when you squeeze him. Jace usually rests his head on your neck to moan close to your ear while leaving marks on your sensitive skin. You may not be very discreet at times, again, it's not a blatantly pornographic sound, but it's noticeable to anyone approaching the chambers when you're making love. If both of you hadn't been so wrapped up in each other you would have heard Luke whisper a disgusted "Ugh" from the other side of the door.

W-Wet

Mmm, he is mesmerized to see your wet and glowing intimacy, casting an obscene look as he watches his manhood come in and out of you.

X - Xiaomi (????)

I had no idea what to put so I thought of a modern headcanon where you are Jace's girlfriend and you haven't seen each other for a long time, so things evolve from a casual dick pick to a videocall. He would be shy at first, but soon he would be masturbating in front of the camera for your pleasure as you moan his name with your hand between your legs. It's sexy and he hates to admit it, yet he relents when he wipes away the seed that has soiled his hand and stomach.

Y - Yeah

Yeah! (Sorry)

Z - Zzz?

Jace doesn't sleep so fast, he can still handle a good conversation (if you want it) or petting and teasing. It's quite rare actually when he just cums and sleeps, he likes to be held or close to you until he falls asleep, whether it's talking about anything or just maintaining a comfortable silence.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "How do you heal each other?"

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read about how you and your partner or person (can be a friend too) can work together and heal each other. romantic partner includes: current partner, future spouse/partner, destined person. the reading won't be strictly for romantic partners cause it may involve friends or any other type of healing as well. i will try to keep the reading for everyone. next reading will involve specifically how you work through fears together.

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life.

(photos found on unsplash)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

1 2 3 4

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 1

Healing with this person is gonna shed a light on your fears and insecurities. This person will bring a new way to see things, which in the beginning may cut you deep, both for the good and the bad: I mean, it could even be triggering but at the same time... feel okay or make you curious about seeing more of it (despite the trigger, you may realize they're right in what they say. I feel perfectionism/high self defence mechanism/prickly behavior -you don't like criticism or when people point out to you when something you do/think may be uncorrect. You want to be always perfect/right cause to you it means you are appreciated, but that's only how you learned to survive and got acknowledge by others/family and praised while growing up. You cannot be always right in life and not cause it's you but simply cause nobody can: we are just imperfect human beings. This person will hit the right spot aka your issue, but at the same time will help you heal it, if you'll trust them). I think you have brought with you this deep wound for a long time now and despite you may be start being aware of it, you still have problems dealing with it. Being criticized still gets to you, receive a negative feedback or even someone not agreeing with you may cause you a small breakdown (or even a bigger one, according on the day/period). Just try to take your time and be patient. It's hard to change the way we're used to think and let others in so that they can help us, but you can do that. Not everyone is willing to hurt you with their words (despite some words do cut deep. But you can always realize the real intention of others: to help you or crash you). Angel number 444, this person will bring tranquillity in your life, despite the shock they'll bring in at the beginning. They will for sure help you dealing with this old trauma and self worth issues, help you change the way you see things from the inside and close this long time hurting chapter. Ofc, it'll take you a while still to close it all, but you will, they'll help you by guiding you through it, holding your hand. You will need to understand and let them in, despite what they say may hurt you sometimes. They only want the best for you and that you believe in yourself, cause you are perfect in your imperfection to them, but you should be seeing this for yourself too. They want you to succeed and reach all the dreams/goals you have in mind, and they'll help you get there by helping you creating the correct mindset for yourself. Healing with them will make you more in control of your mind and wiser. You may end up working together too, they will trust your ideas and you a lot. You will help this person in learning how to communicate better, by standing your ground and letting them know their words may cut deep. You will help them see that people have feelings (they know, it's just that sometimes they don't take them too much into consideration when speaking, they seem impulsive and not pay attention to how they phrase their thoughts: this person may even have similar wounds to yours but deals with them differently; they don't care if others don't appreciate them, but they will care about you)

song: it takes two | fiji blue

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 2

Healing with this person will feel deep. It may be that you need to meet this person so that you both can heal something, probably from past lives as well (but not necessarily). I think it may involve some abandonment issues or other traumas related to relationships in general (remember that relationships' traumas originates not just from romantic connections but all of our connections, especially family ones: we bring those traumas in our romantic relationships too. As humans, we have different types of connections but how we act is not strictly related to each of them -except for specific things ofc as being physically intimate). This person seem to have their own problems too ofc, but theirs kinda fit yours. Let me explain. It seems that your traumas/issues are somewhat completing each other's: like you have healed something that they still have to heal and vice versa, and so you can come together to complete this healing by helping the other. This relationship will help you grow a lot, be more steady, grounded, confident and sure about yourself, and the same will be for them. This person seem kinda precise, wise, has a good way of communicating (maybe even their emotions) and isn't scared of going deep down within to understand things and themselves. They probabably have done a lot of work on themselves (and so have you -possible mirror energy) before meeting you. I think the healing will involve also 18+ stuff. You will heal inner parts of yourself also through being intimate and sharing touches, being vulnerable on different levels (ofc not just 18+, simply being touched/touching the other will help you a lot, as feeling their warmth. You may have felt lonely and left out for a while in your life and it may have happened to them too -or just to them, as resonates). Healing will be delicate (lot of respect for each other) even if probably you will feel it all is happening quite suddenly cause you aren't used to having such a person in your life (e.g. they will meet your needs and it may be something you aren't used to). In the beginning of this connection you may even feel scared of your feelings and of this person, and try to block yourself and the connection (kinda self sabotaging). But you will get used to them the moment you'll realize they are exactly what you've always needed in your life. You need time to get accostumed to this sudden change inside/out in your life, and trust it is for real and it is good. (Maybe you have never been in a romantic relationship or your feelings have never been returned by others, and they being so deeply involved in you will feel scary/uncomfortable). They feel more confident than you when you meet them or they may even have lot of friends/be known or under the spotlight for some reason/be older than you.

song: paper rings | taylor swift

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

Healing with this person will feel cozy, comfortable. Like being hugged after having been for a while under the rain, like staying under the sun and its warm rays with a smile on your face, like a gentle breeze caressing your hair, like taking a nap or watching a movie while drinking a cup of tea under your favorite blanket. So very nice "maternal" energy. Talks about "home" so even coming back home after a long time could be another metaphor. Not sure why I am talking like this, maybe this person is somewhat of a poet or has a gentle soul. It could be that they are very in touch with their feminine side (or that they are a female, take as resonates). They like to ponder, to be sure about the way they do or say something: the way they communicate their messages is very important to them, they want them to be clear and complete (I'm so trying to pay attention to words atm). But also comforting for others. They are very calm and grounded, or it feels so. Yeah, this person is home for many. For sure they feel a lot and know how to deal with emotions: maybe had to go through a lot and now they have reached a point that lets them be more in control and understanding of what is going on inside and outside of them. This knowledge, this confidence, helps them go through life with a little more ease and they want you (and maybe others too) to experience the same. To make it clear, this doesn't have to be a romantic connection for all; and even if it was, this part of their character (helping others) may be related to their job as well. This person will help you get in touch with the inner parts of yourself and start appreciating them, even those you don't like at all: you're (we're) made of darkness and light, and how they move inside of you is what makes you, you. It's what makes you special. They'll help you be more in control of your mind, more balanced between how you see and perceive things (you may tend to overthink or stress a lot). They will help you talk with your fears, with your weaknesses and realize that there's nothing bad in them. They'll help you appreciate your whole self. Angel number 505: they'll indeed bring a huge change in your life but it won't feel scary at all. it'll feel okay, a normal transition, as from day to night. You may even not realize how much you are changing by being with them, until you will suddenly realize later on. For some it may be a person not destined to stay forever in your life.

song: midnight atrophy | mr. larkowis (sorry no lyrics for you but a total mood)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 4

Healing with this person will help you be more in tune with yourself and your intuition (and your Guides, if you need it). This person will bring lot of enlightment and clarity to your life, they'll help you see things with more attention, and understand them better. They may even help your third eye open. You will see better, have many realizations... even things that you may felt had been hidden from you for any reason: everything will be so clear (like, can you see the weird red structure and the "letters" in your pic? With a little focus, you'll see them). You won't care if there's too much light or darkness around you, you just will see everything. You both may be pretty spiritual, or you just need to be together to do something (may even be just help each other finding your purpose, which is standing out strongly). You will balance each other. You will be in your power (both of you). Angel number 525, they will help you stay positive and on your path (or help you realize your path/true call), whatever that is. Feels like a soulmate connection, yin/yang, two people that have to come together (maybe you were called by pile 2 as well, despite the energy feels different). You may have some psychic power or develop it when you'll be in this connection. You will come together to deal with some insecurities and learn to guide others through their lives, through their fears, through their insecurities. It feels like something that needs to be (and I cannot tell too much about). Healing and being with your person will feel like a wish come true, it will bring you all your desires, will help you deal with your emotions and be more focused on what you really want and who you wanna be: you won't be scared anymore about your deeper calling or doubting it. You won't doubt too much anymore, you'll feel more confident about your decisions. You'll trust yourself more. You will realize you'll be in charge of all your life's decisions and you will take them with no fear. You may heal this person by balancing their more masculine energy with your more feminine (but it doesn't have to be), so to create a mentality that is more stable and more fair. This totally will bring you new beginnings, new possibilities, new life experiences, new ideas. This connection will probably give you more ability to speak your truth, communicate better and stand your ground. You both may even work to help others/those in need or who cannot stand up for themselves for any reason. Huge service-vibes from you two (but ofc it doesn't have to be to others, it could be among you two: you will try to be of help/service to the other).

song: nothing is lost (you give me strenght) | the weeknd

[banduckoot]

Headcanons of how the N. Team deal with/act while having a crush on someone?

Cortex isn't good with feelings. This unfortunately includes love. If he has a crush on you, he will be in fervent denial about it, and at first he'll probably be harsh towards you as a defense mechanism. He doesn't want to get hurt for the umpteenth time in his life. The universe is a video game, and he's the bad guy. He knows this. He is destined to be punished by the universe over and over again. It's best he convinces you he hates you so that he doesn't have to love you from afar and feel heartache. But... if he's feeling a little more emotional than usual, especially if you're alone with him... he may say or do something to show he cares. Other than that, the only way he can open up to his crush if they assure him he's not going to be punished by the universe again. That he actually gets to be happy for once. Cortex claims he doesn't need love, but he's aching for it deep down.

N. Brio hates having crushes on people. HATES IT. He hates how vulnerable it makes him feel. How his mind turns to mush because of it. Love is a distraction from his goal to get revenge on Cortex! He doesn't need anyone! He's just fine on his own! He doesn't need affection, either... it could turn into abuse any second! He keeps telling himself this, growing prickly and defensive whenever his crush is around. Despite this, however, he is surprisingly much better at showing he cares than Cortex is. N. Brio always plays it off like it's nothing, whenever he chooses to do something nice for his crush. Don't think anything about it, he's just being a decent evil person. What? Stop smiling at him, it's making him feel weird!

N. Gin is very eager whenever he has a crush on someone. He wants to learn everything about that person. He wants to know their likes, their dislikes, EVERYTHING. I hate to say it, but he may stalk you. Not out of malice or wanting to be harmful, but because he wants to know exactly how to make you happy so you don't end up rejecting him when he confesses. The missile lodged in his cranium makes him feel extremely insecure. It's the reason so many people looked down on him, even though he needs it to live and can't remove it. If you're N. Gin's crush, you'll need to be patient and set clear boundaries with him. He'll respect them, I promise. He just needs gentle correction.

N. Tropy is a major flirt with anyone he's interested in. Make no mistake, this man knows he's attractive and won't hesitate to use his charisma and good looks to reel you in. Unfortunately, don't expect Tropy to be interested in just anyone. The person he loves most is himself; he sees most other people as beneath him and not worthy of him. If he happens to develop an interest in someone else, it's someone he sees as an equal, and such people are rare and hard to come by. And god forbid that person proves to be beneath him after all... he'll drop them faster than a hot plate from a microwave and not even think twice about it.

[feralboo-the-weirdo]

I think we should normalize active parenting. Like we have plenty of examples of neglectful parents, we should get some of active parents. Also, to all the parents already doing the stuff below, great work.

I don't have kids, but I was a kid, and I think these are things parents should know.

If your child comes to you with a concern, no matter how insignificant or stupid you personally find it, take them seriously. It is important to them, even if it isn't important to you. Also, they wouldn't bring it up to you unless they thought it was important. Taking your children's "smaller" concerns seriously will make it far more likely they will come to you with the biger ones. Also, if it's a problem you can't solve, there is no shame in getting outside help, even if it means "exposing" the fact things aren't perfect. You cannot solve every single one of your child's problems alone. And you should help them solve problems, so you aren't solving everything for them. They do need to learn how to solve things on their own, like fights with siblings, or schoolwork. WITHIN REASON. If your child brings up to you that one of their siblings is depressed, or is struggling with something else like that (I.e. an eating disorder or self harm, or other mental illnesses), or otherwise heavy concerns, IT SHOULD NOT BE THE CHILDS RESPONSIBILITY TO FIX IT AND HELP THE SIBLING. YOU ARE THE ADULT. NOT THEM.

No child should EVER have to be the one dealing with these things because you don't think they're important, and you want to ignore them. Just because it's common that most siblings have to be a third parent doesn't mean it should be. Sweeping it under the rug is easy, but you SHOULD NOT make your child deal with it because they knew you didn't care.

Children and teens will match your energy. If you don't care about what they say the chances of them talking to you, and/listening to you decrease dramaticlly.

Also. The same goes for when they're excited about something. Positive reinforcment will make them far more likely to succeed becasue they know you'll care. They figured out how to tie their shoes? AMAZING. They drew a really really crappy stickfigure drawing of a person petting a cat? Tell them what you like about it, (colors, bold lines, etc) and maybe sandwich in a suggestion for how they could make it better.

Further, If your child is upset about something, don't belittle them because you don't think they should be upset about it. at that point you're past they shouldn't be upset about it, they ARE upset about it. Also, this moment, right now, for them is the hardest they have ever lived. Just because they're not an adult and they're not struggling with the same things as you, doesn't make their struggles any less valid. It might not seem like it because you know that not getting an A in math is not the same level as not being able to pay rent, but it's on that level for them. Just because it's "kid" struggles, doesn't mean it's not a struggle. They deserve to have their feelings validated just as much as you do, even though it's not an adult problem. Stuff is really really really hard as a kid because you don't have the skills to cope with things and you're experiencing a lot of things for the first time in high dosages, and it's hard.

Do with this what you will, but I wish my parents had done ANY of this when I was growing up.

[disillusioneddanny]

This Love is Ours

You never know what people have up their sleeves Ghosts from your past gonna jump out at me Lurking in the shadows with their lip gloss smiles But I don't care, 'cause right now, you're mine And you'll say Don't you worry your pretty little mind People throw rocks at things that shine And life makes love look hard The stakes are high, the water's rough But this love is ours - Ours by Taylor Swift

Jazz Fenton stared down at her girlfriend, her arms crossed over her chest. This was the third time tonight that Steph had tried to sneak out of the house and Jazz was just about to strangle the woman. 

“For god’s sake, Stephenie! You’re a nurse! You should know better than anyone that you need to be on bed rest right now!” Jazz shouted, walking towards where her girlfriend was carefully and struggling to put on her Spoiler suit. 

“It’s just a gunshot wound,” Steph mumbled, nearly falling over as she tried to put on her pants only for her Amazon of a girlfriend to haul her up in her arms bridal style. 

“It was three gunshot wounds, and you’re lucky that none of them hit anything serious, now you’re going to lay down like a good girl,” Jazz told her, walking back to her girlfriend’s bed and carefully setting her down. Jazz and Steph had been dating for about a year now. It had been a year of ups and downs as Jazz learned about life outside of Gotham City and what cursed herself with getting involved with vigilantes yet again. She had thought she left that behind when her brother had moved to Metropolis for school and Team Phantom broke up. 

But apparently, Jazz just had the best luck in the world and found herself involved yet again. Slightly, not really. It definitely wasn’t the same this time around. Now she was just dating a vigilante and dealing with the fallout. She had told Steph she wanted nothing to do with the vigilante aspect and thankfully her girlfriend had been okay with it—after she finished reeling over the fact that Jazz had figured her out so fast.

It had been their first actual date that Jazz had told Steph that she knew, and Steph had taken about ten minutes to reboot before demanding that Jazz tell her how she figured it out. But how could she not? The first time they met had been when Jazz had started her internship at the Gotham Hospital. She had been torn for so long between being a professor, a therapist, a lawyer, and a surgeon and surprising everyone. Apparently, everyone had made bets on either her being a therapist or a professor.

Which, understandable, as she had a tendency of being a know it all. But it had ultimately been Frostbite who had inspired her to become a surgeon, to be able to heal others, to help those who had been hurt. Plus all the years helping Danny definitely went into play. So there she was in her first surgery, ready to throw up when she looked over at Nurse Brown who was giving her a wary look. Jazz had been nervous as hell the entire operation and as soon as the operation had ended, Jazz had run out of the doors as fast as she could and heaved. 

Nurse Brown had been right behind her, rubbing her back and giving her soothing words to comfort her. Afterward, she had taken Jazz down to the cafeteria and gotten her crackers and a Sprite that she slowly munched and sipped on while she asked her about her life. 

It was then that Jazz had her clocked. Steph was definitely more than just a nurse. She had watched the way she sat, ensuring that she saw all exits in the lunch hall. She saw the way she kept her shoulders tense, her eyes narrowed, and how she followed each of Jazz’s movements. It all reminded her of herself, of Valerie, Danny, Sam, and Tucker, and how they had all been the exact same way. 

Jazz had managed to learn how to ignore it, how to be more subtle about keeping an eye on everything. Besides, nowadays she relied more on her extra abilities due to her liminality. It turned out that having a mother working around ectoplasm while pregnant and then growing up around ectoplasm and going to the infinite realms as often as she did, meant the radiation would turn you a little less human and a little more ghostly. 

Not that Jazz minded, the super strength, the enhanced senses, the speed, they were a major plus, especially living in a place like Gotham where there was danger at every corner. She wasn’t as fast as say, the Flash, or as fast as even Danny but she was definitely faster than the average human. Her strength was nothing to laugh at either, while it wasn’t ghost-level strength, she could bench press a thousand pounds with no problem. Which was beyond enough in Jazz’s opinion. 

Relying on her liminal gifts, though, kept her at a constant advantage, she had Steph figured out way too quickly and easily. Once she had pegged her as a vigilante, she had realized she was Spoiler as the blond hair matched. This wasn’t her first rodeo, unfortunately. 

“Three gunshot wounds, one in the right shoulder, one in the thigh, and one in the abdomen, I know, I was there, I got them,” Steph said and let out a huff as she slammed her hands against the mattress and glared at the ceiling. “I’m bored."

“And going and fighting crime in spandex and Kevlar sounds like a fun time to you?” Jazz asked, arching a brow as she sat down beside her girlfriend and pushed the hair out of her face. “Rest, please. I don’t want to have to redo your stitches again,” she said softly. 

Steph sighed and held Jazz’s hand to her face. “I’m sorry, I’m making you worry again, aren’t I?” She asked and Jazz just gave her a sad smile and nodded. 

“I thought I lost you, you know. When Alfred called me and said you had been shot, I don’t think I’ve ever run that fast in my life,” she said with a laugh. She moved her hand from cupping Steph’s cheek and ran her hands through her hair. 

“I know,” Steph said with a chuckle and then winced. “I believe one of the first things you told me after saying you knew I was Spoiler was that you wouldn’t do house calls and I’d have to find someone else to stitch me up. But there you were, shoving both Alfred and Dr. Thompkins out of the way to fix me up yourself.”

Jazz let out a sniff. “I can’t have you dying on me, now can I?” Steph caught her hand and threaded their fingers together and pressed a kiss to Jazz’s knuckles. 

“No I suppose not. But that explanation to Bruce was not a fun one, you know. I still don’t know how you even got in the Batcave,” she said, furrowing her brow. Jazz just gave her girlfriend a secretive smile. Steph had been so unbelievably excited when Jazz had finally trusted her with her closely guarded secret. She knew that Jazz was meta but for the longest time, the redhead had been unable to bring herself to share more than that. With the anti-ecto acts still solidly in place, her existence was still illegal. It had taken her a lot to finally tell Steph the truth. 

But when she had, Steph had just given her a deep kiss and promised she would overturn the acts herself if she had to. She’d do anything to make Jazz safe. And she had kept her word. Stephenie Brown, the Spoiler had marched right through the zeta tube to the Watchtower and demanded that the Justice League help overturn the laws. 

It had been an ongoing legal battle for the last three months now but things were looking up. Danny and his totally not-a-sugar-daddy boyfriend had been excitedly keeping up with the news and updating Jazz constantly. 

Steph laughed and shook her head. “This is why you and Cass aren’t allowed to be in the same room together anymore. You’re both so damn sneaky I can’t trust either of you,” she said with a huff. 

The liminal just laughed and pressed a kiss to the corner of Stephenie’s mouth. “I have to keep you on your toes somehow, don’t I?”

“I suppose so,” the blond said and carefully scooted over on the bed and yanked Jazz onto the bed with her. Jazz smiled and adjusted herself on the bed until her girlfriend was resting her hand on the surgeon’s chest, their fingers interlocked as Jazz carefully maneuvered around her girlfriend until their legs were intertwined with one another and she held her close. 

“How’s the pain? Scale of one to ten, and don’t try to act all high and mighty on me Stephenie Brown, you know better,” Jazz murmured, running her fingers up and down the vigilante’s side. 

“Right now? Probably a six or a low seven if that makes sense?” She said, crinkling her nose. “I was a bad patient and waited until the pain was kicking in to take my medicine.”

Jazz laughed and shook her head in dismay. “Steph! You know better than anyone to not do that!”

The blond pouted, pushing her bottom lip out in a way that made her oh so kissable that Jazz couldn’t help herself and captured her lips with her own.  How could she not? Her girlfriend was right there, pushing her lips out in a pout, taunting her! It left her no choice. 

“I love you,” she murmured, nipping at Steph’s bottom lip softly. 

“I love you too Doctor Nightingale,” the vigilante whispered as Jazz started to pull away from her. Jazz smiled and brushed her own hair out of her face as she looked down at her girlfriend, she couldn’t get over the fact that this was her life, that she had somehow gotten so lucky to have Stephenie plop right in her lap that day at Gotham General just two years before. That they spent a year skirting around one another, with soft touches and flirty comments until Jazz had finally gotten the nerve to ask Steph out. 

She had been terrified to do so! To date a coworker? One of the nurses in the very OR that Jazz was now a resident in? It felt taboo, forbidden, she had read the handbook at least thirty times to be absolutely certain that she wouldn’t get fired for dating Nurse Brown. 

Once she had been sure, had covered all of her bases, she had fumbled through asking the vigilante on a date until Stephenie had finally taken pity on her and said yes. Of course, after that she had marched a laughing and blushing Steph all the way to HR just to let them know of their romantic relationship, just to be extra, extra sure that they wouldn’t get in trouble.  Steph had given her so much grief for it, but thankfully she thought that it was adorable as well.

“Thanks for taking care of your poor, pathetic patient,” Steph said, giving Jazz sad eyes. 

“You mean my terrible patient who doesn’t listen to doctor’s orders and keeps getting out of bed to sneak out and patrol?” Jazz asked, arching an eyebrow. “It’s like you completely forget that I have super hearing.”

“They need me! And I’m bored, babe! I’m so, so, so bored in this bed! I wanna get out of this damn bed! I wanna spar, I wanna run around, I wanna do something!”

Jazz smiled and moved back to lie on her back, holding Steph close. “If you behave for me for two more days and stay in bed, I’ll go down on you,” she murmured and Steph blushed and started mumbling. 

“Well, I definitely wouldn’t be opposed to something like that, and you know, they say that’s a good way to get some pent-up energy out,” she said, looking away from her girlfriend. Jazz just laughed and kissed her temple. 

“In the meantime, my brother dropped off some video games and his video game console. We can play that new Zelda game if you want? He also left us his switch thingy so we can play that island game you’ve been talking about too,” Jazz said and Steph let out a laugh. 

“Jazz, you’re my lifesaver. Please tell Danny thank you for me,” Steph said, hugging her girlfriend tight. 

“Why don’t you just get your own video game stuff?” Jazz asked, glancing down at the woman. 

“Because video games rot your brain and I refuse to have that in my house. Besides, I usually just go to Wayne Manor and mooch off of them anyway,” Steph said. “When will Danny want this back?”

Jazz snorted. “Don’t worry, his sugar daddy can get him another one,” she said with a shrug. 

“Are you seriously calling Conner Kent his sugar daddy?” Steph asked with a cackle. 

“He gets money from Lex Luthor like every month! Like a lot! Neither of them even has to work because of how big his allowance is. How is he not a sugar daddy?” Jazz exclaimed. 

Steph just chuckled and shook her head. “Go get the switch,” she said between laughs. 

Jazz climbed off the bed and saluted her girlfriend. “Anything for you, my love,” she said and skipped out of the room. Smiling to herself that she finally figured out a way to distract her girlfriend enough to keep her in bed and not sneak out to fight crime. She grabbed the bag of video games and consoles that Danny had dropped off through a portal and headed back to the room just as she found Steph struggling to put her pants to her Spoiler costume on.

“Stephenie Brown!”

[alistairs-4th-wife]

so I'm gonna start with some Alistair Crump headcanons. What being his partner would be like post-death and becoming a ghost. With some uh... saucy NSFW under the cut. 👀

Alistair will very much put up a front for you when you first meet. Treating you with the utmost respect, being gentleman-like, almost being... scared of scaring you off?

Something about you intrigues him. He doesn't view you in the same way he's viewed everyone else who's entered the mansion

This both interests and infuriates him

You better believe you have been haunted by being unable to leave the mansion long-term. But he can't convince himself to sacrifice you just yet

You also get not a whole lot of privacy at first. Even if you can't see him, he sees you

He can't always be slick about it though. Sometimes you'll hear little chuckles or other little noises

Though after getting a little surprising bonding time, you grow to not totally hate his company

In fact, you'd even say you like it

Alistair's undecided feelings for you worsen, though. Eventually he ends up spilling how he feels to you in the form of a long ramble

He's not good with these things, but if you had to say, that was probably the moment your relationship started

He is very... old-fashioned. Being from a different era and all. You have to remind him a lot at first to respect your boundaries, and just you in general

He does get better slowly but surely though. Doing little gestures to show how much he truly loves you as well

And you'll never have to worry about anyone else giving you trouble. Alistair will... deal with them. In his own way.

Seriously, even if he just thinks something happened he's ready to do some crazy things for you. You're his and no one hurts you.

...That being said, he does still struggle with treating you more like property than a person.

But you're content with it. And you're secure and you know that he does truly treasure you.

Now for some of the more NSFW headcannons. Please skip or stop reading at this point if you're uncomfy or not interested.

In bed you'd say Alistair is comparable to a wild animal

Loves kissing, licking, biting your neck. Bonus points if he leaves marks. He also loves if you have any visible marks after

He also sometimes likes for you to have makeup on basically just so he can ruin it

He is always a top and very dominant. Maybe if you really want it, he'll let you top him once

He is mostly very vanilla. Favorite position is missionary. Wasn't even really into foreplay until you asked him to try it one night

Though a surprising result of this is that he loves giving you oral. He's found himself smitten with you being so pleasured all because of him

And for someone with no experience in that before you, he's pretty damn good at it.

Of course, you never get it without the expectation of you returning the favor, though, which you do

And when you do he's pushing your head onto him and keeping you there until he explodes

He's above average. Huge even. Girthy too. So anything is a bit of a struggle for you

On top of that, he's also... kind of dead. So he's cold. That was hard to adjust to during your first few intimate moments

When penetrating you, he is rough. Fucks like its the last time he'll ever see you. Grunts, moans, and growls escape his mouth with every thrust

Like I said, a literal wild animal

Treating you like property translates into the bedroom too. If you were a virgin beforehand, he was obsessed with the idea of "taking you" during your first night. Otherwise he never lets you forget that he's taking what's his.

He also drools sometimes

He's learned to stop or be gentle with you when he's asked, though. After all, he truly doesn't wanna hurt you. But you can put up with a lot for him

He was confused when you mentioned aftercare one night but after that was a total angel towards you. Sometimes you got a bath. Otherwise you were cleaned up and cuddled until the morning when he'd be gone.