#anyway I'm angry but I'll get over it I just needed to vent

[yusume-the-writer]

If you wouldn’t mind, can we get a bf!Orter Mádl x F reader.

Where Orter is being jealous and over protective bf, that whenever men come near or talk with reader that he just scares them off in a way. And when confronted about his jealousy he denies (as expected).

Sweet and happy ending! (take your time!)

It's not jealousy if it's just to protect your loved one

Orter Máld x Fem Reader

Request made by Anon, thank you very much for this idea

I'm sorry for the delay. I was kind of having a problem creating a scenario, but I hope you like it

We have to agree that Orter seems to be really overprotective, as he is a Divine Visionary who follows the rules to an extreme and has probably made a lot of enemies.

Gender: Fluff

Summary: During a meeting between Orter and his girlfriend, someone appears to interrupt the couple's moment

Today was a great morning

 Orter had missed a day off to spend with his lovely boyfriend (Name) as he was away because of work

So they spent half the morning in bed because of (Name)'s neediness (and also because Orter was hungry for her affection), and then they had breakfast and got ready to go out in the afternoon.

Now it was nighttime, and (Name) had mentioned a restaurant she wanted to try because of a friend's opinion.

And here they are both, in the restaurant while waiting for their orders to arrive

"A friend of mine said the sweets here are amazing! I can't wait to try them~" (Name) says in a childish tone similar to a child entering a candy store

"Okay, but be careful not to eat too much and get sick later" Orter says

"Okay dad, I'll be careful" She says while looking at him with a pout

"(Name) and you?!?" Suddenly an unknown male voice says

Then a guy appears that Orter has never seen in his entire life.

But it seems like (Name) does...

"Oh and you Kevin..." (Name) says while facing the stranger

 However... she didn't seem happy about this sudden encounter

"Yes! It seems like yesterday that we met" The man known as Kevin says, seeming ignorant about the presence of the Divine Visionary

 "Yes... because we work in the same office" (Name) says while looking at him as if he had asked a question that didn't even need to be asked because the answer was too obvious

Which was true, but Kevin thought he was a comedian

'There's the annoying colleague' Orter thinks as he remembers (Name) venting about how annoying and insufferable a colleague was and that he thought he was the guy for making uncle jokes

He wouldn't say it out loud, but he wants Kevin out of their sight now.

He just wouldn't say it out loud because (Name) would tease him about being jealous.

 "Yeah... anyway -" (Name) tries to tell Kevin to go away

"Me and the guys from work are gathered here, don't you want to come? It'll be fun." Kevin cuts (Name), and it seems like he doesn't want her to deny the invitation

"She's on a date at the moment," Suddenly Orter says, catching the attention of Kevin and (Name)

"... And who would you be, man?" Kevin says it in a confused and disgusted tone of voice.

And, of course, he would be disgusted. There is a man who seems to be a thousand times better than him in front of him

"Her boyfriend, now that you're on leave, could you get out of our sight" Orter says while facing Kevin

 Orter didn't look like it, but he was very angry

Kevin looked like he wanted to say something, but he couldn't say anything

He wouldn't admit how threatening Orter looked or how he stared at Kevin like he was nothing more than prey, not an insect.

No, it didn't even seem like that Orter considered him, but rather just unbearable dirt on a clean floor

And like any dirt, it could disappear and no one would care

... An awkward silence filled the room around Kevin

Then he left without saying anything and went towards a table with people who saw the situation.

As soon as they saw that Orter was also looking at them, they quickly turned around.

 "Heh~" A laugh echoes in front of Orter

As he faced the source of the sound, he found (Name) staring at him with a knowing smile.

"It looks like someone is jealous~"(Name) says while still staring at Orter

"...The food has arrived" Orter says as he changes the subject and faces the waiter who brought the orders

"Hey!!! Don't change the subject!"

"If you don't mention that, I'll buy all the desserts you want"

 ".....Closed"

𝑩𝒐𝒏𝒖𝒔

 Orter was in bed reading a book while waiting for (Name) to finish her skin treatment.

"Don't you think it's better not to read so much?" (Name) says while lying down next to Orter

Confused, Orter stares and raises an eyebrow for her to continue

"If you keep reading so much, your vision will get worse" (Name) begins. "And if you continue, every time you take off your glasses, instead of your eyes looking like 3 they will turn into 4" (Name) ends

Suddenly a pillow is thrown in her face

[gingerjolover]

Untitled Angst Fic - Part 1

Naomi Mcpherson (MUNA) x reader (soft!gf coded)

pls give me a title

read the preface here!

Synposis: Naomi is too busy working on the album to listen to thjeir gf and she's had enough :(

G's notes: come get y'alls juice!!! (also im sure naomi is a great partner this is RPF don't come for meeeee)

Wc: ????

Warnings: RPF, angst, fighting, mean!naomi, negligent!naomi, producer!naomi, leaving?, no fundamental physical descriptors, reader is soft!gf coded so she/her pronouns/afab?

It's been 6 hours since you left the house. LA traffic doing wonders for you, listening to angry music, twirling the engagement ring on your left hand anxiously followed by a quick vent sesh with the mom-to-be (and bless her since she's got so much more to worry about besides your relationship). Despite the time away, parking in the driveway puts a frown on your face, not sure what you'll face when you get inside.

As soon as you walk in, it's almost like you never left. Naomi sits on their laptop, albeit in a different place than when you left this morning, the doors to their office wide open. There's soft music playing from the speakers, their torso covered in a shirt and despite their comment about not needing to be dressed in their house to work, some dickies pants cover their legs.

"C'mere...hi, I missed you, hm?" you say sweetly to your dog and cat, both animals clearly starved for attention and affection.

Naomi perks up a little, watching you squat down to greet your fur-children, a small smile on their face gets wiped off when they remembered how pissy you were when you left, and how long were you gone anyway.

"Missed you too," Naomi mumbles sarcastically, as if greeting your pets meant negating them. Their fingers move quickly over the keys, eyes never leaving the screen as they begin to talk.

"...Sooo, are we gonna talk about it? Or are we just going to pretend that whatever happened this morning didn't happen?" Naomi asks, eyes fixated on the work in front of them.

There's something so deeply offensive the way that Naomi delivers the question, not even being able to see their eyes feels like they asked it because they should, not because they wanted to. All you can do is roll your eyes, sighing softly as you put your bag down on the dining room table, ignoring Naomi's question as you walk into the kitchen.

Naomi's eyes quickly flit to the edge of their laptop, seeing you walk away. They mimic you, rolling their eyes, sighing deeply as they look back to their screen. "Guess we're pretending it never happened, got it," they mumble sarcastically to themselves. "I can be petty too, I'm just gonna mind my own business then, it's immature to give me the silent treatment so I'll just let you do your thing," they mumble venomously, their words send a chill up your spine, tears welling in the corners of your eyes.

You sniffle softly, wondering if the flames moving up the walls are even present in Naomi's mind. The energy in the house has been off for weeks, your anxiety and Naomi's attitude taking turns twisting the muscles in your chest until the house feels like its on fire and you're inhaling straight smoke.

You wipe your eyes, slipping on walking shoes before grabbing the leash. Your sweet chunk of a dog sits politely in front of you, wagging his nubby tail as he sees the leash in your hands. "Let's get you outside, yeah? Hm? Wanna go on a walk with mama?" you whisper softly, rubbing his ears when he sits so good for you while you attach the leash.

Naomi hears the click of the leash to the collar and stops typing, looking up at you. "Where are you going?" they ask, emphasizing their annoyance, ignoring the redness in your eyes.

"On a walk? Since you couldn't be bothered to get off the computer," you mutter back in a snarky tone, grabbing the poop bags and your water bottle.

"He went out twice today, I'm not- whatever," Naomi scoffs, turning back to their laptop.

"Might as well take the cat too," Naomi mutters, like it was a stroke of genius.

It takes everything in you not to shut the laptop on their hands and yell "fuck off". But you bite your tongue, wiping your eyes again and open the door, getting the dog outside and slamming the door.

"Well that was dramatic," Naomi mumbles, their eyes flicking over to the front door after it slams, feeling a little bad that you slammed the door. They allow themselves to feel annoyed again when they remember that you implied that they didn't take care of your dog all day.

The time moves quickly, within half an hour, worry starts to creep up Naomi's neck. It's going to get dark soon and you don't live in a busy or unsafe neighborhood but you're taking longer than you normally would alone.

"Where are you?" Naomi texts, checking your location, finding it unable to load.

15 minutes later you walk into the house, having to sit on the curb half a mile away just to cry, wondering if this is a prolonged ending to your relationship.

Naomi can tell you've been crying, that same worry crawling back up their neck as they look at your glassy eyes, cheeks flushed.

"Sit Bruno...good boy," you say softly, taking the leash off of his collar, hanging it up in the hallway before moving to the kitchen to fill his water bowl.

Bruno's paws tap across the tile floor, Naomi smiling softly as they type on the computer. "Hey," they call out, position unchanged. "Did you get lost?" they ask, feigning ignorance.

"No, we went on a walk, I said that when we left," you huff, toeing off your shoes.

"Okay yeah but you took twice as long as you normally do," Naomi says, finally looking up at you with a slight frown, waiting for an explanation.

"Okay? Sue me Naomi, I don't know what you want me to say, we went on a longer walk," you explain exasperated, throwing your arms up.

"You know what, fine, don't tell me," they say, looking back towards the laptop, typing away again.

There's a beat of silence, your eyes widen at their quick dismissal.

"Is what you're doing really more important than me?" you ask suddenly, eyes staring wide at Naomi, flooding with hurt.

Naomi looks up, slightly annoyed at the question. "No?" they say, voice sounding resigned. They sigh loudly, "Fine, you can have my attention," they say looking up. "Now, where have you been?" they ask, eyes stern.

"God, you're... forget it Naomi," you say, tone going from livid to defeated in 5 words. You shake your head, walking up the stairs, heading to the shower.

Naomi just shakes their head, rolling their eyes at the dramatics of it all. But as they sit there, the clock ticking, Bruno's collar jingling as he scratches, the scratching the cat is doing on the cat tree, and the faint water running - Naomi sighs again, a shame creeping up their neck at their own stubbornness.

When Naomi saves their work and finally makes it upstairs, they linger near the ensuite door, heart cracking at the sounds of your sobs hidden between a stream of hot water.

"Baby," the say quietly, knocking on the door lightly.

The crying stops immediately, almost like you were trying to get your voice back to normal.

"What?" you ask, and it comes out harsh. Honestly, could've come down harsher if your voice wasn't thick with emotion.

"I'm- I'm sorry, I've been a total... dick today," Naomi says, tone slightly defeated and aware. "Can I come in?" they ask. And the question hangs, like a rancid herb, drying between the two of you. And Naomi is met with sternness.

"No."

"Can I at least talk to you?" Naomi asks, temple resting against the door. They feel ashamed for how they've acted, replaying the interactions with you over and over in their mind.

"You can't wait til I'm done?" you ask, because the absolute audacity of Naomi to interrupt a shower cry.

"I want to talk about it now, when it's still fresh," they speak through the door. "I'm not gonna wait in the hallway for you to finish showering," they say with annoyance and disdain. The rational part of Naomi that realizes you can't have a productive talk while you're in the shower and that cornering you like this was a mistake can't come to the phone right now because they don't even exist.

"Well considering I'm always waiting on you to have conversations, I think you can wait until i rinse the conditioner out of my hair," you spit out in a snarky tone.

"What? I'm not always making you wait on me," Naomi says, incredulously at such an implication.

"Oh my god, can you let me shower?" you practically exclaim, exasperated beyond belief.

"Fine, jeez," Naomi mutters, rolling their eyes and moving to the edge of the bed, taking out their phone. It's only a few minutes later that Katie, Jo, and some of the MUNA team get on a joint call, Naomi pacing back and forth in the bedroom while listening and giving updates on the production.

When you open the bathroom door wrapped in a towel, its disappointing but not at all surprising to hear Naomi on the phone, passionately giving updates about the production they've been working on. At this point you're done, what else can you do? People could say you're being difficult but what's so difficult about asking to be left alone in the shower and then expecting your partner to be ready to speak when you get out?

You move quickly towards the walk in closet, Naomi frowning when they see the lack of fire in your eyes, nervous about what it means that you're no longer angry. Their voice falters, trying to finish their thought concisely as they watch your shoulders sag, walking towards the dresser.

"So I should have it done- um..." Naomi's words trail off, watching you slide sweatpants up your legs, picking out one of your own oversized shirts and not theirs. "Look, can I... call you guys back? Or I'll send an email, it'll be easier.... yeah thanks, talk soon," Naomi speaks, hanging up the phone while their eyes bore into your back.

Naomi leans against the doorway of the closet, staring at your wet hair dripping on the carpet as they push their phone into a pocket.

"Are you going to talk to me?" Naomi asks, they ask, watching you towel dry your hair.

"Do you have the time to talk?" you respond, tone almost sassy, flickered with annoyance.

Naomi frowns, rolling their eyes softly. "I just got off my phone call so we could talk," they say like it was a huge sacrifice. "...are you implying I'm always busy?" they ask offended.

"Oh yeah, how noble of you," you scoff. "I'm not implying it, I'm saying it out loud. We barely talk since your eyes are glued to your computer or phone, locked away in your office all day and night."

There's that same shame, realizing that they haven't been as present lately, trying to downplay it in their mind. "Babe, I- you know I can't do everything at once... we have a deadline... there's work I have to get done..." they trail off, realizing the poor excuse for prioritization over your feelings but trying to justify it for fear of being in the wrong.

"Then go get you work done Naomi," you mumble, pushing past them to go into the bedroom.

Your dismissal drives Naomi crazy, shaking their head at your ability to walk away when a conversation is clearly needed.

"Since you don't want to talk it out, fine, be that way," Naomi mutters angrily, walking out of the bedroom and downstairs to their office. Grabbing their laptop and beckoning the dog inside, they slam the french doors to their office shut.

The slam of the doors is followed by your head dropping, hands on the nightstand as you try and breathe through your diaphragm, willing any air to get to your lungs, the tightness in your chest unbearable.

It's like functioning on autopilot. A quick text to Kelli, the pull of your duffle from the closet, a moment of contemplation over your ring dish if the rock on you finger is worth dragging out, and the shoving of clothes and toiletries into the bag, the final zip like a punch in the mouth.

The silence is deafening, staring at the bag at your feet. Texts from Kelli pull you out of the haze, slipping on socks before quietly padding down the stairs.

It almost feels normal. Hair still wet from the shower, opening the pantry to fill the animal's bowls, refreshing their water. Except you don't start cooking, Naomi doesn't pinch your ass and wrap their arms around your shoulders, cold fingers don't rub the warm skin of your hips, chapped lips don't cover the skin behind your ear in kisses.

Instead you grab the bag, slipping on shoes, taking your keys off the hook and look to the french doors of Naomi's office. Their shoulders are tense, hunched over in their chair. To the bottom left, your cat and dog sit, almost like statues. You wonder if they know what's happening... if they can sense the end before you can.

Slamming the door feels final, but you know its a signal. Its the begging for attention you're too prideful to do yourself. Your ring weighs you down as you walk to the car, eyes unfocused.

G's notes: there will be a part 2 and 3 pls do not fear

[pro-memoriia]

Re- Imperatour Ghouls

Comfort HCs.

I'll probably make a ghoulette version later but theirs often takes more brain power for me which I don't really have right now.

CW: NSFW in Swiss' and Rain's sections (last one for each), ghouls have elemental powers.

Phantom:

He's kinda like a dog whenever you're upset. He's crying if you are, yelling if you are, etc. He'll approach you with his head hung low. Quiet, careful, and empathetic. Will nudge you a little and try to get closer but will get extra sad if you push him away. He just wants to help.

He definitely feels what you feel. Quint ghouls are naturally empathetic, but just him being himself makes that even more intense. He's happy when you are, sad, angry, anxious. He's with you through all of it.

Cries when he comforts. He'll be offering hesitant smiles and words of comfort while taking shallow breaths and forcing back tears. His voice cracks every time he tells you he loves you, and he's glad because he wants you to know he's sincere.

He loves comfort cuddling. If you'll let him, he'll hug you and rub up against you and just kiss you all over your beautiful face. If you don't, he has to force him to keep his hands to himself.

He's an excellent listener, but a quiet one. Whenever you're venting, he doesn't really know when to say things or when not to. But he'll look at you with those beautiful violet eyes and you can see clearly how well he's listening. He's soaking in every word and processing it carefully because he knows you need it.

Swiss:

Swiss is giving constant little comments and affirmations. Every few minutes, he'll just look at you sweetly and tell you "you're doing perfect, baby" or "I'm so proud of you, hon". He does it to try and offer some comfort. Almost always throws a sweet pet name in there, but he'll stop if you want him to. He just wants you to know that he cares and he really is proud of you.

He tries to keep you happy even when you're still happy. He doesn't ever want you to be sad. He's there to offer constant support and try and keep your mental health from deteriorating. Even when you're having the time of your life, he's telling you how perfect and adorable you are because he doesn't want you to get to the point of being sad.

Swiss will never — and I truly mean never — let go first in a hug. His arms are always open if you ever need to be held and they will stay closed around you until you choose to leave them. Especially if he knows you need it. He's never gonna let you go if he knows you need him.

He just wants you to be happy. He knows sometimes you need a good cry, but all he wants to do in his mind is just kiss your face or tickle you and make you giggle til it hurts. If you need to let it out, he's there. He just wants to see that beautiful smile. No more tears (unless they're tears of joy or pleasure).

Swiss is the best at comfort sex. He'll give to you anyway you need it. Whether you wanna be babied while calling him daddy or fucked face first into a mattress while crying, he'll do it for you. He probably won't degrade you at all though because he doesn't wanna feed any negative thoughts or make things worse. So he'll save degradation for another time and praise you. He's so sweet, he'll rot your teeth.

Mountain:

While Mount is empathetic, he tends to be more sympathetic. He has this constant, pitying "oh, honey" look on his face whenever he sees you're upset. He apologizes on behalf of pretty much everything — if someone upset you, he'll say sorry for them, if the world is just being shit, he'll say sorry for that, if your mind is eating you alive, he'll say sorry for that. He doesn't mean it in any negative or condescending way, he just feels bad.

He'll bring you gifts when you're sad. He doesn't know if it'll cheer you up all the time, but he does it anyway. He'll bake cookies, pick flowers from the garden, paint little pictures, etc. Sometimes, he'll even use his powers to make a gift from rock or roots or something. After a week of depression, you might have a collection of deer on your shelf made out of pieces of nature. Courtesy of Mountain.

He's definitely more of a talker than a hugger. He's so good at comforting with some reassuring and sweet words, but he's a little more awkward about hugging or something. He'll probably hold your hand and cradle your cheek without hesitation, but he's careful about his touches. Mostly, he'll just talk softly and tell you you're alright. He'll tell you in detail everything he loved about you and why and just ramble to you about how wonderful you are to him. He doesn't even realize he's getting talkative sometimes. He'll just say he loves you and accidentally starts spewing out words of admiration.

If you ever can't do something, expect him to do it for you. If you're in a state of depression that's keeping you from being active, don't be surprised if you wake up to him standing awkwardly over your bed in your freshly cleaned bedroom. If you can't cook or order anything to eat, don't be surprised when he walks in with a platter of delicious things. If you ever can't go to work, don't be surprised when he tells you he already called in sick for you. He's on it before you even have the idea because he understands.

He's a happy cuddler, so if you wanna snuggle when you're sad, he'll probably help. He purrs really loudly and his tail doesn't move too harshly. He's got long limbs and a warm body. Like a very long cat. He's basically one of those heated stuffed animals and one of those weighted stuffed animals combined.

Rain:

He's such a sweet boy. He cares for you, he really does. He'll take care of you like you're sick whenever you're upset. Making sure you're comfortable, well fed, well rested, etc. He knows that you sometimes struggle to take care of yourself, so he does it for you.

He's pretty broad when it comes to conversational comfort. He can be sweet and reassuring, calling you nice things and telling you everything will be alright... Or he can be a little silly about it, giving quips about stupid people or insults to awful ones... Or he can be very logical and give you great life advice. Pretty much anything.

Another gifter, and kind of a magician. He won't give you the same kind of things Mountain does though. Rain mostly gives flowers and letters and little snacks. And to cheer you up, he might use his elemental magic to put on a show with his water.

If you wanna cuddle, he will drag you to his bed. Specifically his. Not just because of his element and scent and stuff, but also because of his bedding. His sensory pickiness has led to Copia spoiling him with certain blankets and pillows. Not to mention he has a shot load of plushies. His bed is cozy and nice and he wants to hold you there the most. He'll go to your bed or somewhere else if you want to or if it it's forced, but he'd rather comfort you how he comforts himself.

Another comfort sex ghoul. He doesn't go too rough or anything though because he'll get anxious about hurting you (emotionally or physically). So, he sticks it to soft sex. He'll keep you close and make sure you're okay with absolutely everything he does. His thrusts will be soft and gentle and he'll praise you a lot. He tells you how well you're taking him and everything and how you're such a good boy/girl (or whatever name you want). Very sweet but very gentle as he fucks you.

Dewdrop / Sodo:

Dew is a little awkward at first when he realizes you're upset. He just kinda stands there all stiff and confused for a moment before it clicks. After that though, he feels a little bad and you can see him get a bit upset.

He's definitely the type to ask what's wrong and call you out on any obvious bullshit you spew at him. He wants you to be honest and not bottle things up, so if he needs to be a tad rough in order to do that, he will.

Like Swiss, he wants to make you happy. He doesn't wanna see those sad tears because they hurt his heart. Every time he sees you like that, he can just feel his guts churning. He makes a fool of himself trying to make you happy. Guitar licks and riffs, fire tricks with his magic, dumb jokes, embarrassing moments with his band mates, pretty much anything.

He kinda lets you use him like a stress toy, if that makes sense. If you wanna hit or scream at him, he'll kinda just stand there and take it, maybe even encourage your rage. But also if you wanna cling to him and squeeze him and stuff, he'll let you.

Like I said before, he doesn't want you to bottle it up. He supports your screaming and crying and hitting and throwing and whatever you do to release your emotions (as long as you're not hurting yourself / anybody else). If you're super mad, he'll probably take you to a rage room and just smirk in the corner as you wreck everything in there. Or maybe he'll take you to the lake and let you dunk your head and scream to your hearts desire. Or maybe he'll just be there to rub your back and cuddle whenever you wanna sob. He just doesn't want you to bottle it up because he knows how bad those consequences can be. And he's proud of you for being open with him.

[buddiebeginz]

Just to be clear since I ranted a lot after last nights ep. I love Eddie I'll always love him he's one of my fav characters. But loving a character doesn't mean you have to excuse everything they do.

Kim showing up at the house dressed as Shannon was in large part on Kim. She didn't tell Eddie she was going to do that nor even ask to come over. I also get that in the state of mind Edde's been in lately and the fact that he wasn't expecting to see what was ostensibly Shannon on his doorstep he really didn't know what to do let alone kick her out or something.

Still Kim wouldn't have even known where Eddie lived had he not been cheating with her and not taken her to his house in the first place. I've seen a lot of people say Chris seeing Kim was all on Kim and it's not Eddie's fault but for me some of the blame does fall onto Eddie for the actions he took that led up to that.

I'm not saying that Eddie is a bad person or that I don't see he's in a bad place mentally. I just haven't liked some of the choices he's made this season. I also don't think Eddie ever intentionally wanted to hurt Chris. I know he'd never want to do that and it's going to hurt him greatly knowing he has.

Also I talked in my post about how I thought Buck should have been angry during the kitchen scene. This was just my first reaction after watching the ep. When I rewatched that scene I was glad Buck was as loving and gentle with Eddie as he was. It was clearly what Eddie needed in that moment because it was what motivated him to come clean to Kim about Shannon.

I guess I also get tired of the show never allowing the characters to deal with the consequences of their actions. We just saw this in 704 after Buck hurt Eddie (and I don't think he truly meant to) but I still think we needed to see them talk about what happened on the court. We've seen similar things like when Chim and Buck fought they never talked about it. Or when Buck cheated on Taylor, she just forgave him and stayed. I think sometimes it's harder to see the growth of a character if you don't get to see them dealing with their mistakes.

I'm also angry about this on Chris' behalf especially since we just saw Chris talking about his mom in 701. So part of me does want to see Buck getting angry at Eddie for the role he played in what happened. And for as much as the fandom talks about how Buck is like Chris' other dad it would make sense for Buck to be upset that his son was hurt.

At the end of the day though I love my Buddie family and I do want to see Buck being there for Eddie and Chris like I know he will be eventually after whatever craziness happens in the finale.

Also me talking about Eddie facing consequences for his part in this does not mean I was trying to insinuate that he's an unfit father or that Chris should be removed or anything like that. Like I said I don't think Eddie would ever want to do anything to intentionally hurt Chris. The best case scenario would actually be for Buck to come and stay with Eddie and Chris but given that Ryan said Eddie is going to be isolated I don't think we're going to see that. I'm not sure what's going to happen with Eddie's parent's coming to visit but Chris is way better off with Eddie than he'd ever be with his grandparents.

Anyway I just wanted to put this out there because I feel like my rant from last night came off the wrong way because I was venting about the ep. Even if I disagree with some of Eddie's choices I will still always defend Eddie and Buck and Buddie and I'm never closing on any of them.

[nightmarexdove]

SA victim! Reader × RE8 Chris redfield

Note: Made this honestly for myself, been struggling allot emotionally and mentally and I really just needed to write something to give me comfort. I decided to share this in hopes of giving others struggling with similar situations a comfort as well! :') I do want to apologize if this writing comes off as rude or ignorant in any kind of way, I've mainly used my own experiences to tailor this together but I've tried to use universal language to make it feel more personal to the reader. I hope you guys enjoy 💞

The day you opened up to him about your assault or rape was when you were having a particularly bad day in your head, you were having flashbacks of that very moment that ruined you for the rest of your life. Your depression, anger and confusion hit you like a train. You didn't want to be around anyone, not even the man who was trying so hard that day to get you to open up about what was getting you so down. But for whatever the reason maybe, you just couldn't. He worked during what felt like, every damn day of the week, he had enough on his plate. Plus, fear and apprehension was keeping you radio silent the longest. What if he just rolled his eyes, laughed and didn't believe you? Then what? Your relationship wouldn't be the same or just wouldnt exist anymore at all so you thought anyways. Chris would leave you in a heartbeat, no questions asked.

"Baby no- I'm sorry, I can for a fact guarantee you are talking out your ass right now. It's written all over your face."

You could imagine him, you could imagine him saying those very words and right there and then everything you've built with him over the years would fall apart in mere seconds.

I could imagine that in reality, he'd be always ready to talk no matter what or how he's feeling. Because right now, he could matter less. trying to offer you comfort in the forms of snacks, blankets hugs and kisses.

What alarmed him was when you'd force yourself out of his embrace, when you'd stay away from the comforts that you may have typically enjoyed.

He'd be worried sick alright, calling Claire for advice on how he could better help you and maybe get a idea of what your silent struggles where about lately.

You'd sit with him after a few days, and he'd listen face to face with you ears eyes and thoughts all devoted to you, his angel.

"Oh hun...I'm so so sorry, I should have been less pushy. I'm so sorry."

He'd whisper in a quiet, softer voice. Letting you throw yourself at him for a tight hug, all he could feel was- hurt. He felt hurt seeing you hurt, especially THIS hurt. He may not be able to fully understand your pain, but he empathizes and wants nothing more than to take care of you in any way he could.

You want a bubble bath? Say less, your his number one priority.

Takeout from your favorite place, he's getting something from there too.

Or if you just want to vent about it, if you just need his undying attention then so be it.

He'd listen to you all day, keeping you wrapped in his enormous arms safe against his chest and safe in the four walls of your shared space.

"You are so so strong sweetheart, so brave and stronger than you think. I'd say, your stronger than me and my men, your safe here and I'll make sure it stays like that. If you ever need to talk, you know you'll have me, whatever you need."

He'd reassure you in that warm voice of his, like honey his words fell from his lips if you needed to cry or already crying, He'd keep you held close against him, letting you get everything out.

If you needed sometime in therapy, Chris would search for the best place money could buy. He wanted you to feel well, to feel cared and loved and thought about.

I could imagine him to be a VERY patient man, if you were having a flashback that day or just very upset and angry he'd understand and let you express your needs. Weather through writing them down gesturing, or just out right telling him. He'll let you decide and be right with you to support your health and mind.

If there were certain things that especially reminded you of the time, Chris would ask you to either tell him or write it down so that way he'll know to not bring it up or bring a said object near you just to give an example.

If you liked to draw, paint or bake or just chill and watch movies. He'd definetly do these activities with you whenever he's available, he'd definitely check in with you more than previously either texting calling or just asking in person. He knows this is a very delicate moment and time for you, so he'll keep tabs on you 24/7.

When he's away and on duty for work, I can imagine him going to Leon and asking if he could find for him any Intel on your abuser. And during his time away from home, he'd make it his personal mission to find and take care of the waste of air who hurt his precious sunshine.

[venturelovebot]

Bully!J*no because I'm madge she's still exists. Anyway it's vent writing, don't read if you're a J*no enjoyer. In which case idek how you're still following me at this point but we ball–

• "Aww, what's the matter, baby?"

• You walk up to them with a sad/angry face.

• You lean in and whisper what's upsetting you and they give you a kiss on the cheek.

• "It's okay. I promise. Just sharpen the broken end and you'll have two crayons!" They tell you.

• Teo looks over with a grimace on her face. Why in the world were you scribbling on a coloring page for children?

• She watches as you sit down at a table by yourself and continue violently scribbling while you kick your feet underneath the table.

• "Uhhh, anyway." She catches herself and continues her conversation with your caregiver, sneaking occasional glances in your direction in confusion.

• You grab the blue crayon next and began pressing it hard against the coloring page before it, too, snaps directly in half.

• Tears start forming in your eyes before you sniffle and wipe them away with your sleeves.

• "Ah– one second." They tell her.

• They approach you and sharpen both crayons in your sharpener before patting your back.

• Then they swoop in and give you a big hug, nuzzling your face, peppering it with kisses until you're giggling and happy.

• "You're doing such a good job!"

• Teo glances at the page again.

• It really did look like a child had done it– everything is colored outside the lines, even to the point that there was crayon wax on the table.

• What. The. Fuck.

• "I'll come check on you in a few minutes, okay?" They hold you tight and look at you with sparkling eyes.

• You nod enthusiastically and continue minding your own business.

• When Sloan approaches her again, she brings it up out of concern.

• "Are they not an adult? Why in the world are they acting like that?" She questions.

• Sloan explains everything to the best of their ability.

• "They're just trying to cope." They finish. "It's a lot healthier than what they used to do. Plus, it's pretty endearing."

• "That's... not healthy." She retorts.

• The two of them sit in silence for a moment, glancing back at you.

• "What's wrong with it? They're not hurting anyone." They start getting a little defensive over you.

• "I'm sorry but they need to grow up and face reality. Pretending to be a child doesn't help anyone. Especially not you. Why put up with it?" She replies.

• "I don't 'put up with it'. I love taking care of them." They remain calm for the time being. "They've already faced reality. This is an escape from it for a while– it's not a big deal, really."

• She's quiet again as she watches you from afar.

• How in the world did they choose you over her?

• The idea is infuriating.

• The competition she has is a sniffling, childish little crybaby?

• How? How?

• Sloan takes off in your direction again just as they had promised.

• The frustration grows into pure unbridled rage.

• She grabs her laser gun and– just out of sight– aims it towards your coloring page and the crayon your holding.

• She pulls the trigger.

• The laser instantly lights the paper on fire and burns your skin– causing you to yelp in surprise.

• "Oops." She whispers under her breath, smirking at her tiny victory.

• "What happened?" Angela speaks up from across the room. She rushes in with a cup of water she was drinking before pouring it on the small fire that had started.

• "Let me see..." She takes your hand and looks it over. Her glove glows a warm yellow for a moment before your wounds are healed near miraculously.

• "What do we say, pollito?" Sloan nudges you gently.

• "Thank you, Miss Doctor Ziegler!" You smile.

• She lightly laughs at your comment. "You're welcome, [Y/N]."

• They pat your head to comfort you further.

• "Hm. Brigitte was over here earlier, I wonder what she was using to polish her armor?" Angela wonders aloud. "Maybe that's what started a fire. I'll have to ask her later..."

• And in the corner, all alone, Teo seethes.

[dumb-zombie-girl]

Jake peralta x reader requests? Girl I have SO MANY ideas for this, like I daydream about that man basically 24/7 (it’s a problem 😅) anyways if it’s cool with you I’ll just list out a few thoughts and if anything gives you inspiration to write then please do! If not then no worries just lemme vent out all my silly romantic frustrations 😅 sorry this is long and btw anytime I say reader this goes for plus size reader or however you wanna write the reader, I’m a plus size girl myself but I don’t mind it’s up to you!

1, Jake & reader have a series of bets (sorry Amy, I’m taking your man & his games!) like reader bets Jake can’t go a week without sugar/coffee, Jake bets reader she can’t take something out of holts office without him noticing etc ect.

2, elevator make outs!! (This could build on the bets like in relationship Jake & reader have bets on how long they can kiss in the elevator without getting caught, or they have a no kissing rule at work that one of them breaks in the elevator!)

3, reader is a barista in a little cafe/bakery place and Jake comes in, she thinks he’s cute so she gives him a free pastry and flirting happens! This occurs over several weeks until reader gets in trouble with her boss and Jake overhears then offers to take reader on an actual dinner date to pay back all his freebie’s (and because he likes her obviously 😂)

4, reader teaches Jake how to cook, lots of mess & failed attempts happen but also it’s flirty & fun! Kitchen kisses 😘 (I am yearning!!)

5, reader is a prosecutor working a case with Jake, as they go over evidence they develop a mutual respect & attraction that ends up flirty & either Jake kisses reader for luck before she goes to court or after winning the case reader kisses Jake to celebrate!

6, reader is coming over to Jakes appartement for the first time and the squad makes him paranoid about her hating his messy place so he tries desperately to tidy up but struggles & gets stressed but when reader comes over early and sees him spiralling she settles him down and says she’s not bothered by his mess, she knows him and loves him regardless! Maybe also offers to help sort out a few things with him (*cough cough* mail tub)

7, reader is harassed/bullied on the street (or in another precinct as a new detective) and Jake sees & goes hard defending her! (I love it when jakes gets angry and protective)

8, insecure reader and/or insecure Jake. Both have a hard day and don’t feel great about themselves but when the other sees them upset they immediately go to cheer them up, showering them in love & compliments and they end up cuddling 🥰 ik this is vague but just comforting vibes are needed!

9, Mafia Jake.. does anything! I’m obsessed with him in this era and there is barely anything about him 😭 reader could be his fbi contact who helps him with his new role, or in adjusting back to normal life after the case is done (also in getting over Amy, sorry again girl but how tf could you let this man go?!) OR reader is in the Ianucci (idk how to spell 😅) family but wants out/isn’t a criminal and so Jake helps her, or is assigned by the family to protect her, or she’s a rival and Jake has to intimidate her but they end up flirting! Sorry that one has so many alternatives but my god the world needs more of mafia Jake!!

So sorry this is super long & weird 😅 I have more but didn’t wanna be extra annoying 😂 again feel free to do whatever you want with these prompts! Hope you have fun writing and much love to you 😊❤️

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE ASK. I think I'll work on one for right now but I'll also work on the others soon because all of these are so amazing

Also if you ever wanna talk about Jake I'm here I could always use a Jake/Brooklyn nine-nine friend

[darkdevasofdestruction]

Chapter 11 - Shatter Me

As Katrina simply nodded and discarded the heavier garments holding her down, it took a lot of whining from Elizabeth to annoy Ciel to the point that he ripped apart her dress. "IF YOU DIE, YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO WEAR ANY OF THE CLOTHES YOU LOVE AGAIN! IT'S ALL OVER WHEN YOU DIE! ALL OF IT!" the poor girl cried, trembling softly as she apologised for being so stubborn. The Young Earl put his coat over her shoulders so she won't freeze.

Katrina went ahead through the vent as the vanguard, followed by Lizzy helped up by Ciel, and the boy as the read. They walked through the cramped vents, feeling a little claustrophobic, until the lady finally found another such little door. "Hold up, I'm trying to get this thing open." she grumbled, only for the little trap door to suddenly cave in, and she unceremoniously fell through it --

Right in Sebastian's strong arms. "Ah, I see a beautiful Angel fell right into my arms, what a gift from God." the butler's comment only made Kat grin and laugh merrily. "Thank you for saving me, my knight in shining armour." that cute kitten like smile satisfied the demon as he gently set her down, helping the other two down.

As Sebastian was telling Lizzy that her family was fine and together, battling the undead to rescue the passengers towards the lifeboats, suggesting that they also should hurry to the deck, the roaring of a revved up chainsaw and a lawn mower attracted their attention - From above. The demon pulled the three humans safely behind them, watching with disgust as not only Ronald Knox, but now his greatest nightmare also joined. Grell Sutcliff. "Found you, Hottie~! Long time no see, Sebas-chan! It must be fate for us to meet again, here!"

"Just a coincidence." Sebastian glared at him.

"Ahhh, so cooooold~💖! That side of you is lovely as always!" as Grell was fangirling like a swooning maiden, Ronald was exhausted by his antics, even ending up bickering him him. With the two Reapers being distracted, the four tried to run away. "You wait up there...!" Sebastian had to gather the two children into his arms and jump away as Grell attacked them. Katrina could take care of herself, for the most part. She had a Shinigami weapon, after all. "Setting my body on fire and then neglecting me... How mean~💖!"

"Please refrain from catching on fire by yourself." Sebastian cringed at how openly lecherous Grell was. "We need to hurry on, so could you please open the way?"

"And if I say no~?" Grell, of course, had to challenge him.

"Then I'll just have to beat you halfway to death again." Kat stepped in front of Sebastian, her sword at the ready. "We both know Grell hates me, so I'll take him on. I think I can take his chainsaw better than that lawn mower." she informed the demon. "Take care of Ciel and Lizzy!"

"You... You.... YOU WENCH! Can't you see you're stepping in between our eternal love romance?! We're supposed to have a death-match and die in each other's arms like Romeo and Juliet!" the red haired reaper threw quite the angry tantrum.

"Didn't I tell you to go drown yourself in the Thames, you stupid Ophelia wannabe?!" Kat scoffed at him, uncaring of that ugly glare given her way.

"You're so rude! Can't I just be honest about my feelings?!" Grell growled, rushing forward to slash at the woman, only to get easily parried. "I will kill any love rival standing in my way to reach Sebas-chan!"

"I'm not your love rival, Grell." Kat used every bit of strength she had in her body to keep her sword steady, one hand flat against the blade, keeping it as a shield. "Because Sebastian's only love is the one with the namesake of his most beloved animal!" she smirked, challenging the Reaper.

"What the hell are you on, anyway?!" Grell was, of course, confused - He had no idea what her name was, after all, and even if he had been previously told, she was still just that bitch who stole his man.

"Ah, forgive me, I should introduce myself officially, then!" as Grell was fighting with Kat, Ronald Knox had thrusted the blades of the lawn mower towards the demon's face. "I am Duchess Katrina Raymond!" with obvious struggle, she threw the Reaper off of her. Grell's revved chainsaw ended up cutting away at the wall of the ship, making it gush rapidly with water at such high pressure that it sent the two children away from each other, slammed onto the ground. "And I am going to kill you for good this time, you red freak."

As Katrina kept battling with the other red head, and Sebastian was struggling with all of his might to keep the mower away, Lizzy was endangered, the closest to a huge crowd of incoming undead. Their attention was caught by Ciel, who called out his fiancee's name and started using his remaining few bullets to headshot the monsters, but it wasn't enough. "I.. I..." the freaks were close to engulfing the poor girl. "I wanted you to think of me as cute... Until the very end." she smiled, bittersweet, before she took out her double sabers and massacred with extreme ease all of the undead threatening her and her friends with such beauty and grace that it looked as though she was dancing, waltzing, not killing the undead.

"It was Lizzy who taught me how to fence." Katrina grinned, proud at the beautiful young lady who protected not only herself, but those dear to her. "And it was Lizzy who taught me how to dance."

"This uncute appearance... I didn't want you of all people to see me in such a state... But... This time, I will protect you." she easily cut away the heads of the monsters threatening Ciel. "I am the daughter of the Leader of the British Knights, Marquis Alexis Leon Midford - I am Elizabeth! The wife of the Queen's Watchdog!" she declared, loud and clear, with such confidence that it incurred the other woman's morale.

It was Katrina who understood Lizzy the best, after all, for they were both women. Weak, in order to love. Strong, in order to protect. Both, in order to stay by his side. Just as Lizzy loved Ciel, Katrina, also, cherished Edgar.

What were girls made of, after all? Sugar and spice and everything nice - Right? 

A lady should be super weak and cute in front of her Lord. It's the most important thing to be an innocent, naive girl. It's your job to smile and be surrounded by nice things, just like in the nursery rhymes... Or at least, that's what Angelina would tell her, as she longingly watched the love of her life being happily married and very much in love with her daughter.

Poetry over philosophy; Embroidery rather than cooking and dance instead of chess. Be an unknowing angel, she said. Every girl born in the country of Roses is raised by these words, and they simply had to obey happily. 

But just like Lizzy, Katrina was also different from the other girls.

Lizzy had a strong mother, a fencing genius, and her mastery passed over to her daughter - It was time for Lizzy to hone that genius into a most precious diamond. Katrina, on the other hand, was strictly forbidden from even approaching a sword - She could only watch Joseph, her brother, fencing with Edgar, her fiance, or with Edward. Her impulses often made her want to get there and pick up a sword, to fight with them, but she was always ostracised and strictly disciplined for such unruly behaviours.

Whilst Lizzy had to learn how to protect her fiance, living in constant fear that, should her secret be one day revealed, he wouldn't want to marry her anymore... She had a friend, a little older than her, in whom she could confide. The few times when Katrina was allowed to sleep over at Lizzy's house, the two girls could have genuine conversations, with her mother also. Frances was, after all, Katrina's greatest supporter in learning the art of swordsmanship, and it showed, as both Lizzy and Kat had almost identical elegance in both fencing and dancing.

It was during these fencing spars that she first met the two Charles boys, and defeated Grey with relative ease, which only earned a few salty insults. Kat asked him if his ego was so frail that he needed a woman to go easy on him, in order to win. The boy laughed at her comment, and declared they would be eternal frenemies. 

At that time, Edgar was the person she was looking up to, and she was always happy in his proximity, for he allowed her to engage in anything her heart desired - Which, most of the time, was to join in on anything he was studying at the time. Whether it be fencing together, or learning new embroidery techniques, they would do it together. Edgar never put a gender label on activities, as he considered every skill being useful, no matter the person. He wasn't upset that she bested him in fencing, nor was she upset that he was far superior in embroidery. While she could never even hold a candle to his poem-writing and reciting, he also couldn't beat her in science or calculus.

And the best part of all this - Was that it was their little secret. Her parents didn't have to know what they were doing. She was going to marry Edgar Redmond, and after that, she was going to be his 'property' as the noble society would call it - And from there, she could be truly free, without being shackled by the eternal strictness of her parents.

She wanted to be cute and pretty, to be a wife that he could protect - Whilst also having the means of protecting him, if needed. She wanted to become a wife capable of protecting the boy she cherished so much, and that feeling only enforced with the death of her brother - If she couldn't protect him, at least she could protect Edgar. 

He was tall and lean, very gracious just like his uncle, but with none of that overexaggerating drama... At least around her. And though she was a little taller than Lizzy, when she was her age, she never felt the need to resort to flat shoes around him. She was happy with cute heels when going to a ball with him, and just as happy wearing flats through the awful cobbled stone streets of London. Comfort above all - Wouldn't want the heel to break and fall, right? 

"I'm fine with not being cute, as long as it means that I can protect you!" Lizzy declared boldly as she turned the tip of her sword towards Grell, who was looking at her with more confusion than anything. However, the butler pinched the blade between his fingers, and Kat quickly hugged her from behind, stopping her from advancing further. Her blades would never be able to kill him, unfortunately.

"My Lady, no further." he went on his knee, bowing deeply. "To have forced a lady to go through so much trouble... I have failed as a butler. I am deeply sorry." he said, before getting up and glaring at the two Reapers. "I'll take it from here."

"When are you going to do that for me also?" Katrina's comment earned a nasty look from the demon, who only sighed, watching her playful grin. 

"Keep the curtains safe from your cute claws for now, little Kitten. I will have you cared for when we're done with work." the butler reassured her, fixing his gloves.

"Well, whatever, let's continue!" Grell declared, only for the fight to be stopped by the Earl.

"Wait, Sebastian!" the demon froze. "We have no time to worry about those guys! Ryan holds the key to everything in this case - Follow him!"

"Wait a sec, you - You mean that if we put the screws on that guy, we can learn about these walking corpses?" Ronald came over with his book, and at once, the two departed. "I'll wrap you in the red of roses next time for sure~💖! Bye~💖!"

"We should hurry as... Urgh.." Ciel's ankle seems to have been twisted in the commotion, poor boy.

"It's quite swollen." Sebastian noted.

"Oh no! I'll carry you on my back!" Lizzy declared boldly, urging the boy to hop on.

"WHAT?!" Ciel gasped in blind shock.

"Lazy Elizabeth, I'll take care of that." Sebastian reassured her quickly.

"A-Ah! Th-That's right, yes, Oh... Oh no, I... I..." she started sobbing loudly, poor soul. "I'M THE KIND OF SCARY GIRL CIEL HATES!" she cried so pitifully that Kat immediately fell next to her, holding her in her arms. 

"Hey now, don't say that. Edgar always said a Lady is more beautiful, the more skills she possessed." the red head tried to comfort her friend. 

"B-But before, Ciel said he didn't want a strong and scary wife!" she looked completely inconsolable.

"Th-That was in the past... A-And, anyways, I should be the one apologising right now." Ciel sweat-dropped, confused as hell at the whole situation.

"Then, you will take me as your wife? You won't hate me?" she asked, her eyes sparkling with hope.

"I could never...." Ciel's face became so red and flustered, and although the demon barely had the strength to slap a hand over his mouth and stop his laughter, Katrina was unable to resist, and her chuckles mirthfully resounded through the large chamber. "We don't have time for this! Let's go upstairs already!"

"Even the Young Master can't help himself in front of a Lady, huh? Ahhh, so amusing..." Sebastian grinned, satisfied with the situation, as he carried Ciel in his arms. "Well then, let's go."

"You both - Stop laughing already!" the poor boy was redder than Kat's hair.

Out of nowhere, Snake managed to find them, and together, they rushed to the First Class Deck, where Edward was yelling at the shameless men who were trying to take the seats in the lifeboats from the women and children. His anger dissipated immediately as soon as Lizzy hugged him tightly. "Oh, Lizzy, I'm glad you're okay! It must have been so hard on you..." the girl left his embrace, and instead of Ciel, Edward saw the disheveled and soaked image of Katrina. He blushed awkwardly, and though he wanted to look away, he found himself bringing her into an embrace. "I am glad you are safe, Kat."

The girl smiled softly, wrapping her arms around the blond gentleman, who worried over her, in spite of not being engaged as it was first proposed. He still cared so much for her, and their time spent at Weston together only brought them closer - At least for Lizzy's sake - Though he continued being highly awkward around her. "I am happy to see you and your family alright."

"I'm sorry, I've been completely useless." it was hilarious hearing the young Earl say such a thing about himself.

"I'll say... Well, whatever. We'll save the lecture for later. Kat, take Lizzy to the boat. You two, hurry up also." Edward sternly ordered them to hurry up.

"Edward, I have a favour to ask. Instead of me, let this guy on." Ciel pointed towards snake. "

"The three of us still have some stuff to do around the boat. We can't leave yet." Kat offered a small smile.

"I see. I'll take him." though Edward wanted to protest, afraid for Kat's safety, he knew, by that serene look she gave him, that he couldn't change her mind. 

Before Lizzy could protest, saying she was going to stay behind also, Sebastian gently hit her, making her faint. It was going to be impossible to do anything without Lizzy butting in due to her excessive worry and stubbornness. "The ship has already tilted heavily. It's just a matter of time before it sinks. Please escape quickly and get as far away from the ship as possible. I'll leave Snake and Lizzy in your hands!"

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO COME BACK! BUT YOU DEFINITELY MUST MAKE SURE KAT RETURNS!" Ed yelled at the Phantomhive Lord. "I'll be fine not having to give you my cute little sister as a bride, but I can't have her best friends dying on her."

"I'll be sure to make it back, then." Ciel smiled at his brother-in-law before the three departed.

Running through the halls, they found Viscount Druitt, who was casually drinking some wine. "Aleister? What are you doing here? I thought you'd have escaped by now?" Kat stepped forward to speak. 

"Well, my dear niece-in-law, you see this thing? I absolutely must protect this thing, even if it means risking my life on this sinking ship." he smirked conspicuously. 

"Aleister, we are all part of the Aurora society. We know that device is suppose to bring an end to the walking corpses." the Viscount eyed her carefully, before putting his arm around her shoulder and bringing her closer. "You should have left the ship by now. My nephew would be very upset if something were to happen to his pretty Lady wife."

"Don't worry, I plan on returning and having my wedding." this comment from her seemed to earn a chuckle from someone. Someone so familiar, in fact.

"Undertaker?!" Kat gasped, rushing in front of him. "You're alive! I've been looking all over for you! I was so worried, you silly old man!" though he was carrying the device, she couldn't help but hug him tightly in her arms.

"Aww, my cute little girl, worrying so much over nothing." he grinned at her enigmatically.

"What are you doing here?" Ciel gasped.

"While I was escaping, I was asked to help carry this." he was lying so shamelessly.

"By the way, do you happen to know how to activate this?" the Earl asked.

"Who knoooows~? How will this thing be on any help, I wonder." he hummed mysteriously.

"It won't. It's useless." Kat eyed him carefully. His grin only widened, though he said nothing.

As the men placed the device where the Viscount instructed, he mentioned having the cast incomplete. What was missing, then? "BASTARD! WHY DID YOU TAKE THE DEVICE?!" from the balcony, Ryan shouted angrily at the blond man.

"Welcome, Ryan. I was waiting for you. Tonight, the Empire you built will collapse like Pompeii, and its place, my new realm, will be born!" he declared, like a Caesar at the Colosseum. "With the power of this device, I will create a new Empire!" he posed like the Phoenix. "The one who conquered eternity shall rule over everyone else with corruption and decadence! It will be called - The Aurora Empire!"

"How are you and Edgar related...?" Kat stared in horror and her uncle-in-law, cringing to death.

From each side, the glass walls got shattered by the countless undead that were coming over to their side. "There's too many!" Ronald gasped.

"Please activate it, Viscount!" Ciel yelled at the man.

"I'm not a Viscount anymore! Caesar... ! I will activate it if you call me that way - With that lovely little mouth of yours, cock robin."

"I'm not related to him. I don't know him." Katrina declared blandly, clinging onto Undertaker's large sleeve.

"Yeah, let's kill him right now." Ciel's glare was murderous.

"Please wait, although I understand your feelings." Sebastian agreed.

"Ohh! Ohhhhhh! How many paladins putting their fleeting lives at stake... This place is like a Colosseum of corruption, and I'm watching them from above, slowly enjoying my wine, just like the Emperor Nero!" everyone was fed up with him - Except the Undertaker, who was constantly giggling.

"ARGHHHHHHHH OKKKK DO WE KILL HIM?!" Ronald was losing his mind.

"YOU JUST STOPPED ME EARLIER!" Grell yelled back at him. "HEY, YOU, MAKE THAT THING WORK ALREADY!"

"Heh... Fine. It's time to found my New Empire. Come on, everybody, show me the dance of the Phoenix to pledge your loyalty to the Emperor!" 

"Let's kill him." the four agreed on one thing.

"Oh, no, are you sure you don't want to know how the device works?" of course, with how he was behaving, he knew. He knew it was a hoax.

As those fools all did the Phoenix pose, in hopes of having the Viscount activate the machinery, Katrina stomped in front of that thing. "ARE YOU ALL SO STUPID AS TO BELIEVE THIS STUPID THING IS ACTUALLY GOING TO INACTIVATE THE UNDEAD?! ARE YOU ALL SCREWED IN THE HEAD?! ARE YOU? HUH?!" Kat was at her limit. She looked over at the machinery, and pressed the single button of the thing. "Look around you! Do you see them falling over? Do you see them stopping? No, of course not! Because this was a hoax from the very beginning - And you fell for it!" she dragged her hand down her tired face.

"Huh? No, it can't be --" Aleister rushed to her side, continuously pushing the same button. "Ryan! The device you built isn't working!" 

"OF COURSE IT'S NOT WORKING - IT NEVER DID!" Kat pushed him out of the way, looking over at the machine. "How is this thing supposed to work without even being connected to a powersource?! Supersonic waves - What a joke! As if such a small, mobile little thing could do such a feat! Let alone stop the electric impulses - Stop the synapses of the brain! It can't! And do you know why?!" Katrina started angrily kicking at the machine. "BECAUSE THERE IS NO FORCE IN THIS ENTIRE WORLD THAT CAN KEEP A DEAD BRAIN ACTIVE! NOT EVEN ELECTRICITY CAN DO THAT - NOT LIKE THIS!" she yelled from frustration, as though she was blaming God for all this. "Because... The only thing that can..." she turned to look at the people watching her, different reactions for all. Some were in despair, others were shocked at the truth revealed, and some couldn't believe what was happening. "You guys said it yourselves, didn't you? A body cannot move without a soul? I never believed in souls, until I was shown that Shinigami exist. That Shinigami are the ones who take souls. I saw William do that, right in front of me, with my brother."

"What the hell are you trying to say? These things don't have a soul, are you dumb?" Grell growled, revving up his chainsaw.

"No... They don't have a soul... But they do have something that only a Reaper can give them." Kat looked at the Undertaker, looking at him with an undetectable expression on her face. "A Shinigami is responsible for all of this."

"And how was this accomplished then, dearie? By the face you made, surely, you found out the mystery, hmm~?" the Undertaker giggled, completely unhinged.Kat's bottom lip trembled, her eyebrows furrowing. Undertaker did all this. Why? Why did he want to accomplish? Was this truly his plan, should she die on him, as was foretold? "No. I'm done. I'm not... I'm done! I'm not saying anything! This is-- To hell with all this! To hell with all of you!" she freaked out, looking with hatred at the undead. "I'M NEVER GOING TO BECOME SOMETHING LIKE THIS, DO YOU HEAR ME?! I'M GOING TO LIVE! I'M GOING TO SURVIVE AND WALK ALL OVER THAT STUPID BOOK THAT SAID I'M GOING TO DIE SOON!" she yelled loudly. "SCREW THE REAPERS! SCREW GOD! SCREW DESTINY! SCREW EVERYTHING THAT ISN'T MY OWN CHOICE!"

"Stupid little bitch, you speak too much, as always!" when she wasn't paying attention, Grell jumped over the balcony and sprung to slash Katrina into pieces. "I'm the only one who's allowed to look good in red!"

"WAIT, SENPAI, WE MUSN'T KILL PEOPLE!" Ronald's warning was in vain, for Katrina reacted too late, and she didn't have enough time to reach for her trusted sword and defend herself against his powerful attack. 

"KATRINA!" she heard Ciel's and Sebastian's voices calling out her name, but the attack never came.

"Adrian...?" Kat's eyes widened, green eyes looking straight into his own green eyes. She could see, he was wearing the contact lenses she made for him. With one arm, he kept her safe, at his chest, shielding her with his body, while the other hand off-handedly used a wooden grave marker to stop the chainsaw with ease. 

"Hehe... It's been a while since I've laughed so much... How could I possibly lose my cute little apprentice, when I promised I would keep her safe from the claws of death - Right... Shinigami?" with a twirl, Undertaker easily pushed Grell away, as he revealed all the other grave markers he kept in his coat, which he threw at the red head - They all hit the glass ceiling which shattered into multiple dangerous shards. Sebastian had to shield the boy, as Katrina was sheltered by the Undertaker. "How sad... How sad would it be..."

"...Should laughter disappear." Katrina found herself unconsciously continuing the quote he always told her. "Adrian... You didn't have to do all this. They know about you now. I'm sorry." 

"Shinigami?!" the others gasped.

"You've been hiding yourself well. Since you kept your eyes hidden, I never noticed it either." Sebastian eyed the man suspiciously.

"Me too, I've been had. There's no mistaking that yellowish-green glimmer. He is a Shinigami!" Grell spoke definitely.

"Hehe... How nostalgic. It's been half a century since someone last called me that." he smiled softly.

"WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS, UNDERTAKER?!" Ryan ran up to them. "Didn't you tell me that we could control the corpses as long as we have this device?! Did you fool me?! Was it all a lie?! All that about going to America to spread Complete Salvation?!"

"And you were dumb enough to believe that?!" Kat looked at him with shock, before looking at her master. "He actually believed you? Really?"

The silver haired man grinned emptily, shrugging his shoulders. "But you see, I thought it was funny, since you were trying to bring the dead back to life in all seriousness. You were the perfect person for my purpose." and here is where Katrina's knowledge of his plans completely ends.

"So our goal of making the entire world healthy was...?!" Ryan gasped, betrayed by his associate.

"That's YOUR goal, isn't it?" Kat never heard him speak so harshly. "You couldn't perform the resurrection of human beings with the kind of medicina that you possess. In my book, from the moment you relief on OUR skills, that can't be called medicine anymore. The kind of guy who would use a treatment he doesn't even understand on his patients is no longer a doctor, you see." Undertaker pat the head of Ryan, who fell on his knees. "To think that a knowledgeable man with a formal education like you couldn't even hold a candle to a mortician's apprentice who never went to school... Haha... My little songbird's thrill was most exciting, wasn't it? You were just a good boy who honestly believed in my story. How precious."

"So, in other words, you're the mastermind behind the Aurora Society's human resurrection experiments?" Ciel asked from the top of the stairs.

"That's a secret~💖... Is what I'd like to say, but by doing that Phoenix Pose you've paid me for an awful amount of information - So, I'll tell you, hehe." the man chuckled, his long fingernails gently trailing through Kat's damp carmine locks. "I allowed my curiosity get the best of me. My intelligent little fox, with curiosity to match my own, was happy enough to play with all these dead bodies. You see, although I am the one who taught her everything, she does some incisions differently - And all these corpses have her signature style. Should have seen how happy she was!" he hummed without a care in the world. "And I was the one who made them move. "That was my curiosity of human life and death." the man explained. "Tell them, dearie. Enlighten them."

"You tempered with the Cinematic Records, didn't you?" unlike before, Katrina's voice was whispery, as if ashamed to speak.

"Exactly so! I had lived the Shinigami life for a long time, when one day I thought - What would happen if the end had a continuation? What would happen to the flesh body if you were to connect a continuation to the memories that had come to an end, without the soul? Shinigami only hunt souls, after all. The body AND the brain that holds the memories are left in this world." he explained his idea.

"No way... You edited the records...?" Grell asked in a serious voice, no longer theatrical as before. Undertaker grinned, pointing towards some corpses. "Well then, how about you take a look at their records with your own abilities?"

Just as he said, the memories after death were continued - Ridiculous images of the Undertaker playing around, scene with him and Katrina working on corpses or cooking, drinking tea or waltzing around the parlor... With the end of the memories never coming, the body mistakenly thinks that life is still continuing, and it starts moving again without a soul. That's what living beings do best - Try to fill up whatever they lack - So, the corpses were seeking their Souls.

"I can temper with the records, but I can't create a soul. I experimented a lot, but most of them never became anything more than flesh dolls without a self. That's why I call them, not living, and not dead. The Bizarre Dolls." he grinned, reaching out for a corpse and pulling it in his embrace. 

"How perverse can you be..." Ciel glared at the man.

"That you can't understand this beauty just means you're still too young, Earl. This beautifully stitched skin, as white as wax, just like when they were alive. Their mouth that cannot clamour noisily or tell lies any longer. Aren't they all far more beautiful than when they were alive?"

Watching the adoration in his eyes as he stroked the hair of one of the Dolls, before throwing her away, made Katrina shed a single tear, smiling in shock at what she was seeing. "Adrian." she breathed out. "Is this what you wanted to make out of me? When I would have inevitably died, would you have done this very same thing to me also?"

"But of course. Aren't you my precious little thing, little Kat?" Katrina felt like a child being scolded, her mind not working anymore, and her heart deceiving her. She wanted to slump to the ground and cry just like Lizzy would when she was sad. She never was allowed to cry as a child, as she'd get it beaten out of her - But now, she truly, truly wished to weep like a little girl. "Didn't I tell you? I am an old man, I lost a lot - And I cannot afford to lose more. I was going to preserve you forever, like the beautiful flower that you are. This way, you can speak as much as you want without being scolded by society, and you won't need to worry about hair, clothes or make up. I would take care of you."

There was nothing that she could say. She was lost, and drowning, in her own thoughts. So distraught, so confused, that she had to lean back on the railing of the stairs and try to keep herself above the water, and not succumb to the depths of the ocean that her dark thoughts were.  Not only was Undertaker creeping her the hell out with the idea of having her body in such a state after death, but the fact that this whole trip was premeditated to be destroying - The same amount of humans and bizarre dolls. Let them kill each other and see how many survive on each end.

"Quite deranged." if even a demon could say such a thing...

The ship was never headed to America. It was supposed to sink anyway - And Katrina would have been there, with him. The only two survivors of this experiment - Were it not for Ciel and Sebastian to hinder this mess. 

"The more he says, the more I know I can't let this pass." Grell sigh, looking in disdain at the silver haired man. He knew it was going to be tough. 

"I know, right. Shinigami distorting the way of Death is totally impossible... Though he doesn't have glasses. Is he one of those deserters you see sometimes?" Ronald asked, fixing his own glasses.

"Shinigami are weak." Katrina's voice boomed suddenly. "You rely on glasses, but if they're taken away, your sight is shit." her head leaned to the side. "I have wonderful services, you see. I make a business out of creating the perfect contact lenses for unfortunate Reapers like yourself." she smiled, comically. "If Undertaker used me all this time, well - I might as well make good money out of the things I experimented of him, huh? Look at him - He's doing perfectly well for himself without glasses - You wouldn't think he even needs them."

"You're... You're a little sick yourself." the blond Shinigami made her glare at him.

"Maybe I am sick in the head, who knows?! That's what death does to people!" she declared, taking out her sword and pointing it at him. "But I'm really angry, you see? I really want to cry right now, but I never cried in my life, so the only way I know how to release my anger is... By destroying things." she offered a poisonous grin, filled with faux innocence. "Won't you drop dead already?"

But the two Reapers wanted to quickly take down Undertaker, and so did Sebastian. Three supernatural beings, trying their hardest to get rid of a single rabbit - Only for that rabbit to maul them apart with ease. Silly them, they should have known better. Kat truly doubted there was anyone who could defeat Undertaker, even if they added their forces together. With Undertaker revealing his gorgeously modified Death-Scythe, Kat could only stare in awe at the design of the half skeleton with the thorny crown, just like Jesus on the cross.

"It can cut anything - That catchphrase is false, when multiple death scythes are involved. So you were the one who gave Katrina the death-scythe after all, weren't you." Sebastian recalled the outstanding sword that saved her life on multiple occasions.

"They should've collected it when you retired..." Knox gasped in shock at the wonderous scythe.

"I couldn't just part with it, you know? I went through quite the trouble to take it with me, you know. Both of them." he smiled, raising his blade up above his head. "Now then... How about I hunt you guys now, like the pitiful rabbit in a hunting game."

Katrina and Ciel could only stare at the murderous game they played, until Undertaker, amused by Sebastian's shrewdness, leapt behind them, dragging Ciel away. Of course, the demon, bound by his contract, was forced to act accordingly. "Ciel!" as the young boy was thrown away, Katrina quickly ran to catch him in her arms.  The butler turned in an instant, instinctively reaching out to his young master, only to get the full blow of the scythe impaling him through his torso. "They may be weak and fragile, but a human life is quite hard to drag out, butler." without realising, the red head let the boy to the ground and rushed to the raven haired demon, helpless - What could she, as a human, do in such a situation? Not only was she powerless, but she knew of no way to heal a supernatural being, especially from such a wound. "I always wondered - Why a vicious beast like  you would dress up and play the butler? Show me your record."

Everyone had to watch how the contract between Ciel and Sebastian was formed - Ciel's ritual, how he almost died, how he summoned the demon to massacre everyone who hurt him. How they ended up getting along, in the weird sense - How Sebastian got his name after Ciel's dog, how the boy was taken to Tanaka at the hospital, then at Angelina, how they ended up at the burnt Manor, the graveyard of his parents, how Sebastian, with the flick of his fingers, made the Manor brand new.

They were shown how Sebastian and Ciel learnt together everything there was to be learnt - The demon would learn about the appropriate temperature for a human's bath, the amount of pressure and strength to apply when touching the frail human body - And Ciel had to learn to stop being fussy and stubborn.  Sebastian had to be taught that he had to act like a human, as to not arouse suspicion of his supernatural being, and especially, he had to go through trial and error multiple times to understand, at least relatively, the taste of human food... Which tastes like ash to him. 

That little brat.

Without a Governess, Sebastian became his teacher - A very strict teacher that would slap his hands with a ruler with every mistake he made during his foreign language lessons, especially latin. Likewise, Ciel would pour the scalding hot tea that had no taste all over Sebastian's gloves. Ciel was thought how to shoot a gun, and the butler learnt how to polish silver-wear and care for pristine etiquettes. 

Katrina watched the poor boy waking up from the nightmares, each and every time - Though he didn't want to be touched, he required his simple presence in the room with him, the comfort of another. She was the same, and she did the same with him also.  

With him having learnt properly how to become an Earl, he was requested to present himself in front of the Queen. Katrina remembers that moment, she was there also, as the Queen's Fox, of course. Her father was also there, the High Court Judge.

He turns his back towards the light without hesitation. That figure that charges into the abyss at a dignified pace. Beautiful and foolish. Ciel's soul surely will be delicious...

If Sebastian survives that blow.

"Ciel is fine, don't worry." Kat cupped his bloodied face, looking worriedly at him. "Sebastian?" Kat gently slapped his face - His eyes were closed. "H-Hey, wake up, Sebastian!"

"Your meowing is too loud, kitten. I can hear you just fine." Kat could only sigh in relief, seeing him struggle to sit. 

"Meow." trembling softly, Katrina's arms engulfed the demon into a protective embrace. "I was so worried. So, so worried." her heaving chest made the demon realise that her words were true. Silly human, worrying for a demon.

"Your record was pretty interesting, but... It seems like you only make the Earl miserable, after all... So maybe I'll just make you disappear." the serenity in his voice only served as fuel for his apprentice, who leapt up and parried the large of his scythe with the sword she was gifted by the man himself.

"Like hell will I let you kill him." but the struggle of power was interrupted by the ship beginning to sink, leaning more vertically than the tower of Pisa. Though Ryan Stoker fell to his death, Katrina herself was being held by the Undertaker. It was a nasty deal, trying to keep your balance on a wet ship with heels on. 

With Grell going after the Undertaker, Ronald affirmed he would be going after Sebastian, who was seemingly weakened - What a way to insult one's pride. "It's like I'm picking on the weak here..." Ronald sighed loudly, only to get roughly punched in the face, sending him flying and rolling around, by the majestic butler who outclassed him in any way 

"You - I thought I'd seen you somewhere. You were the Shinigami who acted as Madame Red's butler. You also tamper with people's lives, don't you?" with the ship continuing to rock in the vertical position and the way Undertaker kept dragging her around to escape Grell's chainsaw, the sword was knocked away from her. 

"Damn it all." without that damn sword, she was screwed. She hurried around the abrupt stair-ladder, reaching to the edge of the balcony to grasp at the blade of the sword;

"Watch out!" whatever it was that Undertaker did when pushing away the stupid red Reaper, it was bad, for Grell was slammed to Katrina's level, and with the chainsaw still revved up, in the commotion, he ended up slashing away at her body, scarlet blood splurting like a fountain of wine, in sync with her cry of agony.

"CAN'T YOU JUST FUCKING DIE ALREADY?!" Kat yelled at her red head counterpart, one hand cradling her aching wounds, while the other was holding the sword pitifully. "Screw you! Screw all of you, stupid Reapers! I hope you all fucking rot in hell!" she hissed, carefully packing her sword in her possession and grabbing at the railing - The Ship was going down, and fast. She needed to find a way to escape this mess.

With the two Reapers being her enemies, and the demon already holding onto his master, Undertaker looked at the pitiful and shattered body of his little apprentice and held onto her, jumping to a safer place. "You pitiful child." he muttered, only for her to hear. "Well then, it's finally time to say goodbye. It was pretty interesting." the three supernatural beings went into one last attack - And though it was parried, Undertaker's locket chain was cut, and it fell. In the commotion, Katrina reached out for the locket, only to slip and fall as the ship was cut in two. "ADRIAN!"

They watched as her form disappeared into the dark waters without a single sound.  But this wasn't how she was supposed to die - That's not what was written in that damn Shinigami book. It can't be. She has to remain confident and fight for her life. She has to survive. Her body was in deep agony and the water was freezing her numb - But she held to locket string. She managed to get it.

Somehow, Katrina managed to swim up to the surface, and keep her head above to gasp for some air - The wooden grave marker with her name on it was there, floating, and she used it as her life-line. "Katrina, over here!" she heard Ciel's voice calling out to her - Goodness, she truly was exhausted. Where did they even manage to find a boat, anyway? No matter. She might be walking a lonely path - Yet now, at least, she had where to go. Who to go to. A boat to embark towards the land.

"Ah!" with a gasp of pain, the two on the boat watched in shock was Katrina was pulled back in the water, and in her stead, a large spot of crimson - Blood was disseminating through the place.

"Sebastian, do something!"

The woman's anger was infinite, watching those stupid corpse swim around her, and even sinking their teeth in her flesh - Who knew what the hell kind of diseases they carry? The human bite already was hella dangerous, because all that nasty bacteria - An undead-human bite could only be a hundredfold worse. "I'm never going on a cruise again." she finally managed to kill the Dolls and cling onto the grave marker, swimming to the boat, where the demon helped her up. "There's still a ton of those freaks in the water. Don't get too cosy." Kat said, grabbing the butler by the back of his shirt and urging him in the boat as those freaks revealed their heads above the water sheen. They were surrounding the whole boat, and more. They looked at the boats, farther away - If they don't kill the freaks now, they will endanger the others, Lizzy included.

"We'll stop them here. You can take them, can't you, Sebastian?" Ciel asked, getting towards the middle of the boat.

"There is no need to ask a servant anything. Please, give me an order." but Katrina shushed them both, pushing the demon down to sit.

"Just sit down and protect Ciel. I'm sad, I'm hurt, I'm in pain and I need to vent out my anger somehow... And these freaks are just what I need." Katrina shushed the demonic butler in a low voice, void of any emotion as she looked at the grave marker with her name on it, and growled. "I'm not dying today, Undertaker. I won't let you turn me into a freak." she steadied her feet, smashing the wooden marker into the head of the nearest Doll so hard that it broke, sinking into the depths of the ocean. "I don't sing eulogies." the only thing heard throughout the vast nothingness of the ocean was the roaring wrath of the woman unleashing her feelings with her swords, the only way she knew - Destroying. Rage. Betrayal. Sorrow. Loneliness. Hopelessness.

Each of them crying a different tune, until there were no more bizarre dolls left to smash into the depths of the water.

Soft droplet of ice cold rain were falling mercilessly on the clammy skin of the three survivors sharing the same boat. One, shaken to the core by the events of the night, Ciel was the single member completely unharmed - Physically, at least. On the opposite spectrum, however, the demon was in rather the pitiful state, bleeding like that and starving, unable to properly heal from the atrocious wounds inflicted by the divine weapon of the Shinigami; If only his aesthetics hadn't been his priority, his long life having taught him well that quality over quantity is far more satisfying a meal, for waiting so long only makes the soul even more delicious.

In spite of his perilous state and the blood drenching his otherwise pristine outfit, shredded and torn so mercilessly - He looked at the woman in front of him and he felt... Pity. Not in the negative sense, but in a way that it made him wish to engulf her into his embrace and shield her away from all the dangers that keep coming her way, as though she was a powerful magnet for trouble. Just like with an orphan kitten, the demon wish to wipe away her tears and desperately force that distressed expression, that empty look in her face, that broken heart - Force it into that sweet, tender smile that only she was capable of doing. He has lived long, and experienced plenty of beautiful women of all kinds, innocent, pure and tragic - So, so very tragic - Yet whatever it was that made him so affected by her emotional and mental state... It affected him strongly.

"My Lady --" he tried calling out to her, but it was no use.

"Please... Give me a few moments to think." her voice was so soft, so broken, that it was barely audible through the gentle waves rocking the boat.

Sebastian said nothing, only watching the girl's tears blended with rain droplets, silently fall down her precious face, tinted blue from the freezing cold, as she kept looking up at the starless sky. The oar from her grasp, bloody from all the bizarre dolls she smashed, falling onto the boat. Her trembling hand reached up to hide her face, wiping away the tears, only to for her frown to turn into a smile, growing wider, and soft giggles became louder and louder laughs of madness, her fingers raking through the fringe of hair hair. "Nothing truly matters, does it, Adrian?" truly, her mad cackles did resemble that of the Undertaker. "How upset you were, seeing me leave the cage, only to return more broken each time, having to mend me. How adamant you were that you would keep me alive, that you wish a long and happy life for me - Is the life you wanted from me, that of the freaks you created?" she asked, out loud, into the skies.

She was holding tightly onto the golden chain with numerous lockets - Her name was also there, as one of the cherished people his heart treasures, and inside, a lock of her scarlet hair was gently laying. Unconsciously, she reached into her hair, seeking the cut lock - Even when brushing her hair, she hadn't noticed. "You fool. You damn fool. Why did you have to leave me all alone? How many times must I be orphaned? Why must I walk a lonely world, even with so little time left?" her fist clenched around her locket. "We truly are the most incorrigible hypocrites, you and I... Aren't we... Undertaker?"

Drained of her strength, her wounds still bleeding, her body trembled softly from agony and cold, her sheer underdress, white and sticking to her body, ripped and bloodied. The crinoline was long since discarded, the drawers' leg were bitten off, and the frilly corset's laces were loose, exposing more of the cleavage than comfortable, her chainsaw wound visible through the large blots of blood; and the under-petticoat was more ribbons than a skirt. Katrina slumped unceremoniously to the boat seat, her scarred shoulders covered by the wet velvet of her carmine hair - She looked like a hilarious wet cat. 

In spite of her weakness, Katrina rose her head and looked at the butler kneeling in from of her. She smiled. It was such a sad, bittersweet smile, drenched in tears, rain and sea water, but still so, so beautiful, that Sebastian's maroon eyes widened in surprise, his heart clenching a little due to foreign impulses. "Even when suffering, you're so beautiful." her tender comment surprised him even further. "Why is it that the most ethereal beauty is only reveal through the darkest times of suffering and tragedy?" the man was slumped to the ground, gripping at his bloodied injuries, unable to heal. The blow from the death scythe had been devastating to his body, and he continued spitting blood even now. His whole outfit was shredded and bloodied even - Not that she was any better.

The demon smiled softly, gazing tenderly at the lady before him. "You tell me, My Lady. You are no different." he could feel the loneliness of her soul, the trembling of sadness, the perfume of death. She truly was a piece of art.

"Lau told me once that the more beautiful a lady, the more she suffers and dies young. What is your stance on that claim?" she asked him, reminiscing of such philosophical discussion, Though Sebastian wasn't happy hearing other men mentioned, he could see - he could feel how connected she felt to him only, so much more than anyone else. "It is not unheard of." he replied. "In fact, I would have to agree."

Katrina hummed lightly, leaning closer to him. "It must really hurt, doesn't it? Being wounded like that... Even someone like you must be in agony. You don't like the pain either, do you?"

"Some say pain and pleasure are two sides of the same coin." he scoffed lightly. "Demons are no different - Though I would rather not end up as the practice target of some filthy reapers. I, like most others of my kind, have our own demon standards to live up to."

Katrina giggled at his offended comment. "You truly are beautiful." she breathed out. "Can you not heal? Is it because of the weapon, or the starving?" the man admitted to being both. "You told me once that there are ways of tasting a soul, without entirely devouring it - Is that right?" he nodded his head. "I see." her smile widened. She looked exhausted. "Ciel, can you close your eyes for a minute?"

The young Earl, hugging his butler's coat tightly around his petit body, eyed the shattered red head and sighed. He hardly had any idea of her intentions, but with nothing left to fear, there was no reason why he shouldn't allow his friend and butler a little intimacy, no matter how awkward it may be. "Sure." he grumbled in a low tone, closing his eyes.

"Forgive me, Sebastian." Kat muttered, her hand reaching out to his own ungloved one, intertwining their fingers together and squeezing gently as comfort. "I did not wish to appear so unsightly and unlady-like for you, nor did want to stink of death and decay, and taste of salty water. It must be disgusting for a demon with heightened senses and the taste of ash on his tongue."  Sebastian's lips parted in shock, unable to speak as he felt his face so gently caressed his wounded cheek with such care. "Take as much as you need, and heal properly. Don't mind me. Just get better." before he could protest, the demon felt two soft flower petals capturing his lips into a deep kiss. He could tell it was her first kiss, she was clumsy and inexperienced, yet in spite of all that, it felt so good kissing her. Even her damaged soul made him feel euphoric - He was greedy, lusting over her delicious soul. "I thought my first kiss would be like in those romance stories. All pretty and romantic. Not half-dead, in the middle of the ocean, surrounded by the undead." she grinned weakly as the demon chuckled against her lips from her comment.

"You have got me addicted, Kitten. I pray I might be able to stop before I take your soul all to myself." his sultry whisper send a shiver down her spine. Though her power was lessening, she kept smiling through the passionate kiss, her body feeling warm and at ease as the demon's other hand touched the back of her head, his finger tangled within the wet ribbon-like locks of her beautiful hair, deepening the kiss, their chest pressed flushed against one another. The deeper the kiss, the more Katrina's mind went blank with comfort and love, squeezing his hand so tenderly.

Once the butler leaned away, he looked into her sparkling eyes, so tired yet so full of vitality. With a single kiss, she seemed to have regained some lightness of the soul. "I hope that was good enough." she smiled, leaning her head on his shoulder. "I'll just... Rest a little now."

The butler was on his alert, bringing the lady into his arms, making her nap comfortable, yet constantly checking her pulse through her neck artery. The faint bruises in the form of a hand print weren't lost on him - How many times was she going to get in mortal danger while he is away and unable of rescuing her? Though, granted, now she is the worst he's ever seen her - Excluding almost getting sacrificed in that ritual - And he could only watch her shatter in front of his very eyes. Not exactly a fulfilled promise from an English gentleman. "Rest well, My Lady. You have done well." soon, a rescue ship would come to save them all.

When next she woke up, Katrina thought she was dead. Her whole body was in perfect agony, and everything surrounding her was white. She could hear nothing of interest, though the familiar smell of hospital, disinfectant and drugs made her realise that she was alive and close to well as humanly possible. Damn. That's bad news.

"Finally, you are awake." that wretched voice made her body tense up, causing a wave of pain wash over her. "Don't bother. Just shut up and rest. I don't want to hear your voice." her mother's crone voice made her shudder. For a woman who's not even in 40 years old, her voice sure sounds stereotypically evil. "You should be thankful that someone actually bothered coming all the way to this place and pay for the medical bills. You owe me." she continued, though Kat closed her eyes, pretending she can't speak yet due to drowsiness. "They found your father's body. He's dead." she kept speaking, before getting up once the door opened. "... I see you continue mingling with troublesome folk." she hissed at the newcomers. "No matter. They'll discharge you in three days. The butler will come get you." she snapped her fan open. "The Queen is going to perform an official investigation into your father's death. The criminal is going to be severely punished. Until then, Her Majesty gracefully agreed to let go of your duties to her, and allowed you a mourning period. She also agreed to attend your marriage to Redmond, once he finishes college in a few months."

"This is the most you have spoken to me in eighteen whole years, yet none was close to showing any kind of motherly concern." Katrina could help but snap her her, though her voice was groggy and pained.

"A haughty and unfilial failure of a child like yourself does not deserve the attention of the parents." her mother's heels clicked towards the door. "It should have been you, not Joseph." In an access of intense rage, Katrina got in a sitting position and threw the flower vase towards her mother - Due to her lack of strength and unfortunate electrifying agony, it broke to the ground.

"THEN WHY DID YOU KILL HIM?!"

"I will call the nurses. My daughter has an intense case of hysteria. Enjoy being strapped to the bed, you little menace."

Cringing from the intense pain, Katrina hat to lean down against the bed side. She looked at the two new-comers, evidently pissed. "You gave my real name to the hospital, didn't you?" she hissed at the boy.

"They don't allow just anyone the medical care that you got." Ciel defended his actions.

"What's the point in living through the surgery, if that bitch is going to drag me back home and sacrifice me to Satan. No offense, Sebastian." she waved her hand dismissively.

"None taken." he bowed his head. 

"I ran away from home, Ciel. For a good reason. I don't want to return there just to end up as a sacrifice. AGAIN." she protested strongly. "Now even the Queen is on my back. Relieving me of my duties? Looking into father's death? If I knew this was going to happen, I would have just let Sebastian take my soul and have my body as fish food."

"Are you done?" Ciel sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose.

"No, I am not done. I have to find a way to leave this cursed place and find a new home. I doubt Undertaker's parlor will ever be open again, after what he did." she sighed loudly, clutching her side. Ciel pointed his thumb towards his demon butler, who smiled passively. "As long as you continue helping me with work, you have a bedroom in my manor."

"I cannot." she spoke sternly. "I helped you with information gathering and death-related things thanks to being affiliated to the Undertaker. I helped you with legwork missions whenever I had the time, but I have my own work to do also, and without the Undertaker sending me letters informing me of your missions and with the Queen making me step back from my duties, I'll have no way of knowing when you want me to return." she shrugged vaguely.

The two looked at each other, but spoke nothing. What were her secrets, Ciel wondered. Completely unaffected and unphazed by her father's death. Refusing a helping hand due to forced inconveniences. What was she hiding? What was that business she was attending to? Was Katrina actually a threat to him? Should he have Sebastian investigate her? With how close they are, she wouldn't suspect a thing. Katrina, also, despite how much she wanted to complain to someone, she could - After all, how could she admit to anyone that she killed her father? It might also incriminate Lau and screw his business. The Queen would also stop trusting her, and she would be deemed a traitor and get an awful punishment? She's lose everything and everyone. She already lost Angelina and Undertaker... She didn't want to lose Edgar, Lau and Lizzy... She didn't want to lose her privilege of studying at Weston - Though, without the mortician, she wasn't sure where her position stood at the moment. Moreover, if Ciel begins to suspect her, he will keep his distance, and consequently, Sebastian also - And that... That would be just cruel. Might as well keel over and die.

"My Lady, in the state that you are in, I would suggest you accept the Young Master's proposal. As stated, you are not bound to the manor - You may leave whenever you wish." the butler tried to convince her. He noticed the woman looking towards the window, and he chuckled lightly. "You are on the third floor."

"... I suppose I don't have sheets to knot together and climb down safely, huh?" the corner of her mouth turned upwards a little awkwardly. 

"Let's meet at the carriage, then." without another word, Ciel left the room, leaving the two all alone. "You have been overexerting yourself, Kitten." Sebastian removed one of his gloved, picking up her chin gently. "My secretive little lady has been getting into a lot of trouble recently."

"I wouldn't call this - Recent. She has been my mother for eighteen years. Unfortunately, you can't exactly choose the family are born in." she sighed, and though she tried to look away, she was stopped, as Sebastian leaned in to plant a soft kiss on her forehead.

"She couldn't reach you for months now, and she won't be finding you any further either." the low tone of his velvety voice was enough to comfort her mind a little, before she found herself being picked up in his arms. "No need to worry about the rest of your treatment either - There is little I cannot do for my pretty little kitten after she so selflessly offered me a precious part of her delicious soul."

"You are overexaggerating what I did, really." she sighed, getting comfortable in his arms.

With a graceful leap, Sebastian jumped off from the third floor window, without as much as arousing any bit of suspicion from anyone.  The ride home was perfectly silent, and once they returned to the Phantomhive manor, the servants made a fuss over them, but mostly, over the state of the lady being held like that. Mey Rin made sure that her bedroom had every comfort needed, along with a sleeping gown for the night, and a dress for the next day, until she can go shopping properly.

Though Katrina insisted to be treating her own wound, she didn't mind it when the butler came into her room; In fact, she requested to be cuddled to sleep, and he had no right to refuse, of course. She thought she would be comfortable in his presence, she thought she would feel safe in his arms - But he had to ruin everything. Was it a demon thing? Was he getting off on her terror? On the vagueness of his actions and the way they were affecting her?

Look at how fate plays and toys with humanity, As even the truest of sentiments end up broken and cast away like the scattered crimson leaves. We prayed for the Moon, the Sun, and warm breezes of the Spring But the wind never softened, and instead grew harsher with rain and snow, Which snapped the branches and destroyed the plum blossoms that grew on them. Those moments we spend as lovers and soulmates have now fluttered far away without a trace Now all there's left to listen to are the memories shaken from the leaves of the parasol trees.

How did he know this song? Why was he singing it? Though he recited the poem in such a beautiful voice, the implication wasn't lost on her. It was the Chinese song that she sang that night in the pleasure house, when she killed her father. It was translated in English by the demon, yes - But Katrina's heart felt like stopping, and her mind was racing like crazy. She felt unsafe. She felt exposed. She felt as though her mother was going to come out of nowhere and drag her back home. She felt as though the Queen was going to cast her away into a dirty and cold jail room - Or worse, the Asylum.

"A most romantic poem, I would say. I have always been attracted to the romantic literature of cultures over the ages." the man hummed devilishly in her ear. "I was always under the impression that you liked pink flowers, but after you so ruthlessly broke the vase full of magnolia that I brought the day prior, I should research more."

"Why are you doing this?" she asked, snatching herself away from his arms. Though she could barely see him in the darkness, those magenta-glowing eyes sent a shiver down her spine. "You could have easily let mother take me back. Why did you convince me to come here? To have Ciel hand me over to the Queen?"

"The Young Master does not know yet." he hummed impishly. "After all, he did not ask; And my investigation had nothing to do with you or your father."

"Then, what is it? You want to blackmail me? Or do you just want to get a raise out of me?" she snapped at him angrily, only to have her wrists held, his face so close to her own.

"Now, what would I get out of that? Those are just silly things that humans do." his sultry voice made her feel a myriad of weird emotions. "I was wondering what your next conquest will be. For an injured little kitty, your claws and fangs are still as sharp, if not, much sharper than anticipated."

"My next conquest...?" she let out a huff. "As if I'd actually tell anyone!" she laughed in his face arrogantly. "One day, I will leave, and you won't find me, unless I wish to be found. And for good reason."

"Independent little kitten, hm~? How adorable."  she could see those elongated fangs sticking out through that charming grin of his. "I wish to see you unleashing all those emotions holding you captive. Keeping you shackled. I want to see you being yourself, not the product of the discipline inflicted upon you. I want to see you being human." he rose his hand to her face, gently brushing her cheek with the back of his fingers. "I want to see you let go of your inhibitions and fears, and fall into my arms. I want to see everything you have to offer - And more."

"How greedy of you." she huffed softly. "You say that, though I have never cried before. I wished to cry that night though. I really did, more than anything, to have the chance to cry my heart out and curse everything around me. Well, that didn't happen, did it? How sad."

"I would say that I would provide you with the much needed comfort that would help you discharge your overwhelming surplus of emotions - However, I can sense your unrest. You wish to leave soon, don't you?" she nodded her head. "Might as well wait until the morrow and -"

"Sebastian, what day is it?" Katrina suddenly had an epiphany.

"Sunday, around 10 o'clock in the night." her body laxed, and she slapped a hand over her forehead. 

"Have I been in the hospital that long?!" she gasped, stumbling out of the bed. "I have to go." she struggled putting on the dress over her chemise, only to see some luggage on the ground. "What's with these?"

"They were sent here, in your name, though they had no expeditor. I imagined they belong to you, so I brought them here." Sebastian watched as the woman fumbled through all the boxes. He daren't look through the bags of a woman, it was improper, and without the young master asking, he didn't need to bother.

"Undertaker..." she sighed, hanging her head for a few seconds, before rummaging around the luggage and revealing a nice light blue manly suit. "Is there any way I can hire a carriage at this late hour of the night?"

"You seem to be in quite the rush, My Dear Lady." he watched with confusion at the lady dressed in the suit, her wound tightly dressed so it wouldn't bleed again.

"I need to be somewhere Monday morning." her cruise was supposed to be three weeks longs, though it was barely reduced to a single one. Without the mortician to back her up, she was afraid that if she were to continue losing school days, she might actually get expelled. "Urgent business to take care of."

"To think that a man's clothing could suit you so well." the man hummed, prowling over her way. "It must be Nina's work, isn't it?" he asked, feeling the fine wool of her blazer.

"Only someone like Nina would make women's clothes for men, and men's clothes for women." she chuckled lightly, before struggling with back up her two luggage bags. "I gave you a part of my soul. Surely, you can find a carriage for me, can't you?"

"I would have indulged your little whim even without that favour." he smirked down at her.

"How magnanimous of you." she huffed in amusement. "Fulfilling the wish of a dying woman." she continued. "Next time... I might have a favour to ask... Though I imagine it would be much more fun than finding a carriage for me." she smiled mischievously at her.

"Then, my dear kitten, I wish you a safe business trip. Let us meet again soon, under better circumstances."

As the butler helped Katrina get up on the carriage, he stole a quick kiss from her sweet lips, yet this time, without taking a part of her soul again - It was addicting, and he was a slave to that drug. He wanted to feel more, to taste more, to see more. He watched the soft blush on her face and that satisfied kitty smile of hers, before she shut the door close and the carriage took off to a place only she knew of.

To Weston College.

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[merge-conflict]

Since you asked twice: 4, 61, & 66 for the fic writer asks :>

Heheh :3 (questions here)

4. Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

I ask myself questions. The scope and number of questions depends on the idea. Am I looking to complete a next scene? Why don't I know what the character will do next? Do they need to make a decision, or does something need to motivation to move past an obstacle? Is their struggle internal or external at this moment? Are they at full capacity or are they tired or hurt and more likely to mess up or do something impulsive?

For fic ideas it's just that but broader. Usually I get a snippet of a scene or inspiration from some outside source- either my own life or some other story. Maybe I just think that two characters should meet, or be put in a situation where they have to fight. Maybe Johnny should punch Valentine in the face. Then I just work backwards from there- what kind of pressure would cause them to be angry at each other? If they have an argument can it be exacerbated by some vulnerability or just because they're having a bad day? Because something else happened and now they're on a hair trigger? What would cause them to fight instead of just walk away? And then just sort of reverse engineering the situation from there. It fails a fair amount of the time, but asking the questions themselves helps flesh things out to make it easier to work out ideas for those characters or any characters, so there's never anything lost through brainstorming.

Also honestly sometimes when I can't think of anything or I'm frustrated and want to vent or cry about it... I'll give myself a weird objective. Try a new POV. Keep it a certain length. Change tense. Write about someone without ever saying their name. It also doesn't always work, but concentrating on some new kind of goal often gets me out of the pit I've been languishing in even when it fails.

61. Why do you continue writing fics?

I love doing it, and also I can't really control my brain when it comes up with stories. So they're going to be in my head anyway, and writing them down helps me develop them and enjoy them even more. Obviously I do love and enjoy the community part of writing fanfiction, and getting feedback and engagement. (Love it. Crave it. Don't we all?) But ultimately I just love doing character studies, and constructing scenes and making things. Sometimes I "write" for hours and get very little done but I really enjoy that time, and if that ever changed I wouldn't do it.

66. How do you deal with writing pressure (ie. pressure to update, negative comments, deadlines, etc.)?

I don't think any of those things worry me too much. I do feel bad for not updating regularly sometimes but I hardly do anything regularly. I could keep a habit for 3 months and drop it in 2 days for something new. If I don't like something I'm hitting the bricks. Honestly the biggest struggle I have is that period of time just before and just after sharing a story- it's like as soon as I hit post my self-confidence dives, and by that time I've usually reviewed my own writing so many times that it just looks like garbage. Similar to saying a word over and over until it becomes meaningless and annoying? It's kind of the worst. So far the only solution I've found is to leverage my adhd and distract myself until I'm out of the danger zone. I've also found the more I do it the easier it gets, like exposure therapy. The anxiety poison damage from posting gets a little less now that I know "How It Works (tm)".

I do often get stuck on something (a scene, etc.) but my writing process is really messy and so I will leverage having multiple projects and just sort of tool around through them until I find something I can make progress on. If I have motivation I have to follow it or I'll never do anything so just going with the flow and not getting too hung up on doing things In Order or finishing my writing veggies before my writing dessert. Having little to no executive function means that there are some things that I can't do without spending extra spoons and I'm alright with some comfortable chaos.

[caffeinated-bibliophile]

This is probably going to be a long rambling rant because I'm angry, can't stop crying and I'm alone and I need to vent

I am furious and devastated and idk what to do. It looks like Brooklyn public library is going to force me into either not really reading much anymore, or using something like KU or maybe LibroFM, because they've stopped offering out of state cards (which were $50/year), there are no used bookshops near me (the closest is a couple hours away in another state), and I can't afford to buy most of the books I read anyway, even if I could get them all used.

Am I overreacting by crying all over my cat? Probably. First world problems and all that.

I live in rural appalachia. My library is part of a regional group on overdrive/Libby, which means all material is shared amongst about 20 counties. (Brooklyn's collection on overdrive is more than 6 times what my region's collection is.)

They can rarely add new items, there's no way to request items online (you have to go into a library and then it's up to them if they get a physical or digital copy), and the selection of material that conservatives would deem objectionable is tiny and not likely to grow much in the near future. (Honestly, I'll be surprised if they manage to keep what they currently have.) Wait lists are often 6+ weeks long at best for older titles, they rarely have more than one copy of anything, and I've been on the wait list for over a year before for a newer release. (Like Michelle Obama's Becoming, which I ended up getting within a few weeks after I signed up for the out of state Brooklyn card.)

I don't blame our libraries. They do their best. I wish they had more resources, and I wish that I could do more. This whole thing is just the fucking worst timing. I have things checked out, and I had holds on books that no library within 100 miles of me has in any form. My depression is also in full swing, and one of the only things that's ever kept me going is books/reading. I also can't go renew my local library card right now because I'm injured and having car trouble. (I mean. I'm also disabled and really don't want to drive an hour one way without my partner in case I can't drive back, but whatever.)

If I'd had any warning, before I logged in to start the card renewal process, I wouldn't be such a mess. But I ended up having to use a search engine to find a page where they have a notice about no longer offering OOS cards because I couldn't find it, and I never got an e-mail, notification on my account, or anything else giving me a heads up that last year was the end of being able to get/renew one of those cards.

I'm so frustrated, and this has thrown a wrench into my reading plans for the rest of the year, at least. I guess I'm going to go find out if any of the other libraries that used to offer something similar still do so.

[kip-has-fleas]

kind of a vent/rant idk i just wanted to get sum stuff on my mind out onto paper the internet for literally everyone to see

this is a little random but yesterday my mom asked me what type of guy i'm looking for. (i'm not looking for a guy really, i'm more so looking for a girl, but a guy would also be ok) so i told her i want a soft guy, not your normal tuff stuff guy. because yes. soft boys are my lifeblood and i need one. anyways she immediately gave me this Look and told me i DID NOT want a soft guy, soft guys are insecure and stupid and will not protect me if something bad happens and the moment shit goes down i'll end up blaming him and since he's soft he'll cry and that's the end of the relationship- SHUT UP. boys are allowed to be soft wtf? no i don't want a rough guy, my dad's a rough guy and he's always super sarcastic and mean???? i want someone that will treat me like a real person that i can relate to and feel safe with????? i just want to feel like i have a place to go with out feeling like i'm bothering my friends- i literally cannot go two fucking days without having a breakdown and i Have To Tell People About It because i am Such AN ATTENTION SEEKER for some stupid reason. i will literally do anything for attention idk what's wrong with me. like JESUS i need to get over it- i seriously thought i was over it and then i just haaaad to go get angry at my mom and that's the one thing that pushed me over the edge apparently. idk. im so tired. i want to be the friend people can come to, not the one that's always crying on the floor

[spacecatdet]

Heres the thing, my take might not be right. But its my take and at the end of the day you don't have to agree with it. I've seen what has happened to cc's over the years, been through a lot of the tumblr stuff around it I might change my stance but prob not. But I'm allowed to vent on this blog just like my main, what I was venting about was related to this blog. I'm not sorry that it makes me feel weird that someone can't go outside and have a fun time without being seen through the lens of attraction The rabid shipping I've seen some people do, including being weird to ccs over said shipping has drained a lot of my fun away. Thus why I'm venting, and I'm going the extra step to remove those from my dash. And if you feel the need to defend yourself by me saying this or get angry, you need to take a look at yourself. I'm not talking about those I follow or in a semi-tightknit group. I'm talking about those I've seen about and yah, it happens more on twitter. But tumblr isn't immune to this either There are creators on here who have said they will stop making content. Because how bad people will sexual thier versions of the hermits. Its not just a me thing, its a bigger problem. People taking their charactarazation and just striping it away again for the ohhh sexy aspect its not fun If I feel anymore ask need to be answered on this, I'll answer them. But for now this is were I'm leaving off my stuff. I'm not saying nsfw and stuff is BAD, I'd be a right hypocrite about that if I did. I'm just saying maybe don't sexual everything and one so much Anyways, its up to you now if you want to follow, leave, block, ignore, or agree. I'm a person too who has thoughts and feelings. And we can either coexist, you can vent and rant on your blog and so can I. Or I can be blocked and not seen again easy

[marshmallowprotection]

So I don't usually vent to strangers on the internet, never have before at all actually. But your page is just radiating with amazing vibes and you're such a safe space. I always read your work and it makes me so happy.

Today was...yikes. and it's only really begun. For about two weeks now I've been going back and forth with a girl about working for her, she interviewed me and seemed to like me, and hired me. Well then I gave her my number and she took a while to text me even though she was supposed to the next day. Finally she says hi, I reply back and then I hear nothing when I needed to know what time I was supposed to come in on the day she set up for me to start ! Heard nothing. 6 days go by and she says sorry I have to reschedule you. I'm like no big deal! I understand and I look forward to working with you on the new day which was meant to be today.

Fast forward to this morning I'm running on 4 hours of sleep because I was so nervous last night to go to bed early, and I spend an hour getting ready. No texts, no calls from this girl, so I'm assuming we are still on. I drive all the way over there and get in 10 minutes early.

Immediately she sees me and ignores me, talking with her other worker and a customer who I could tell must have been a good friend of hers. I stand there for a bit waiting patiently when she turns to me and says I'll get you situated in a moment I have to use the bathroom. So I start chatting with the other worker, we talk about her necklace that I thought was cute.

And this is where is goes downhill.

The girl comes out of the bathroom and immediately starts in with "I'm so sorry to do this to you" and goes on to tell me that financially she can't afford me and that she has to send me home. In front of everyone, in the middle of the shop. First of all, if you can't afford me WHY LEAD ME ON?? WHY LET ME DRIVE THERE, WHY NOT AT LEAST CALL OR TEXT ME THIS MORNING??? Then she has the nerve to say in April she may contact me back if I'm still interested. Absolutely not.

I'm a disabled college student. Finding work is so hard and I finally thought I had the courage and ability to get a job and this was how I was treated? I'm embarrassed, angry and upset. She should have called, or maybe never hired me at all. And she certainly shouldn't have told me to go home in front of everyone there. I could actually cry rn.

Thinking so hard about how my amazing fictional bf Saeran would comfort me and how my bestie and future brother in law Saeyoung would crack stupid jokes to cheer me up and also help me find this lady's bosses number so I could be petty, call and tell them just how unprofessional she handles this business.

Anyways that's my little vent. You're such a light on this app and I really truly adore your work and how you treat others. You deserve a lot of good in your life and I hope it comes to you. I'll call myself 🧼 soap anon if that's not already a thing on your page, that way if I ever come back to chat with you (prob no more vents ??? I just wanna shower you in appreciation and Choi Twin brainrot) or even come off anon I can be identified. :)) have a wonderful day, please.

I'm sorry to hear that someone led you on, Soap Anon! It's hard enough to get by in our society when someone tells you that you didn't get a job. It's even harder when someone leads you on and makes you waste your gas money on nothing.

That stuff isn't cheap! If she knew there would be no way to pay you, she should've said it the very second she realized it for a fact and told you over the phone. It saves not only her time and embarrassment but your time as well.

That's no way to treat another person. I'm angry for you!

Being disabled is hard enough because society is designed to force you into poverty here in America by giving you things below the bare minimum. They nickel and dime you because they think they can and I hate that shit. Saeran wouldn't let that slide, you're right. Nobody is allowed to lead someone on for no reason. It's one thing if you think you can take on work, and it's another to realize you can't by the time you do the books.

Just be upfront with people and say, "I'm sorry, but I can give you this job right now. The business is tight. I might be able to help you later on if the money changes, thank you for your interest," over the phone! Literally. There was a way to handle this and this woman ain't shit. I can't suspect her motives or choices, but that was a horrible way to do somebody over.

Saeran would comfort you. He would wrap you in a blanket and bring you something warm to drink so you can cry and work through your emotions with him. He'd coax you into taking a day off so you can do what you need to. Cry and rest. Whereas, Saeyoung would waste not a second in getting payback for you. If you consent. He can make the world know not to work for this woman because she treats workers like that.

No excuse to lead someone on because they made some kind of mistake and don't want to own up to their mistake! Just be upfront! Don't make Saeyoung dismantle you to ribbons for treating his family like garbage. Because he can and will do that. You can always count on Saeran and Saeyoung to make you feel respected. If nothing else.

[conkreetmonkey]

Vent post because why not, don't read if you don't want your mood killed

Ok so basically I need a degree to get a job that pays me a living wage. Getting a degree is already a task equivalent to climbing Mount Everest with ankle weights on since I have ADHD, but I need to do it to get the job so I can live on my own. However, to afford the degree, I need at least a part-time job, making an already difficult task way harder.

Ok, cool.

Now I think I'm probably trans, but to transition I think I need to feel stable and somewhat independent, which I need a good job for, which I need a degree for, which I need to maintain a part-time job while getting. This will take a minimum of 3 years, more likely 4-5 during which I must either continue to live with my parents or go into debt. Every year I don't is a year in which I will not feel comfortable transitioning, since my body will constantly be being perceived by others. Every class failed is time and money tacked on to the already steep total.

Ok, cool.

Now, getting a degree will not guarantee me a job. The economy is already shit, and will likely continue to get worse due to corrupt politicians. I may need to leave the country if this happens to have a chance at living on my own and transitioning, which I will need a degree for anyway. The number of countries without failing economies due to corrupt leadership is dwindling fast, and my travelability will be severely harmed if I transition, since my white male ass will suddenly become a hated minority that's hunted for sport in a good third of the world. This is largely due to, again, corrupt politicians.

Ok, cool.

I actually have it really good compared to most others in my generation and economic class, many of which have abusive parents or no free place to stay at all. I at least have a CHANCE of "making it" without divine intervention.

Ok, cool.

My loftiest goal in life is to have a non-physical job that doesn't severely stress me out, a home, and enough money left over to maybe get a burger every few weeks. I don't really want a car, but I'll have to get one out of neccesity if I stay in this country. Ideally, I'll get to explore my identity and maybe be trans.

This is an incredibly difficult, almost impossible goal to achieve. "Living somewhere where my parents don't and having a job that both pays the bills and doesn't ruin my joints" is my generation's version of becoming a rock star. Like, do you SEE the PROBLEM. Because my parents don't. They think I'm just a lazy, whiny shitheel emotionslly manipulating them into letting me leech. I tell them this stuff and they're like "well I heard from a friend of a friend that someone else's kid got a 6 figure job with just a high school degree and all he had to do to get in was a simple math test" and "your grandma pays $1,100 for her two-bedroom apartment and that's about average" and when I try to tell them that's not the norm they get angry.

[faith-nerd]

Feel free to ignore/delete this. I need to make a quick little vent and didn't know where else to put it

It bothers me when something branded "a critique of religion" boils down to "I can't do whatever I want without someone telling me it's wrong why do people want other people to have standards?"

Because there are rules in place bigger then what any of us can see and some people can't think of anything outside of themselves.

Hypocrisy is a thing in the church, I'm fully aware. But these "critiques" tend to boil down to "make up your own rules because someone was mean to you" Maybe I'm over simplifying but I feel like there too much disrespect for something that matters a lot to me personally. There's also the underlying issue of "respect other's believes but be hypercritical of Christian ones"

Yes people have been hurt, yes they have the right to express that, but this is an anonymous vent post because I couldn't say this on main without possibly starting a fight. I can't just ask people to respect me because the internet doesn't work that way.

Anyway you can delete this if you don't want to respond. It's just a vent since I woke up still thinking about a really bad take I saw last night that only holds up if you literally did not read the bible

I think a lot of it is there's no clear answers to anything involving religion.

I'll be honest, I was once super defensive against anyone who critiqued Christianity because that was the world I grew up in. Kinda an "How dare you insult something I care so deeply about?" I still get like that sometimes.

What really made me rethink things was back in high school. I was the traditional white Christian kid, and my best friends were two women of color and two gay guys. We were part of an honor group that was expected to do volunteer hours, and so whenever my church youth group was doing a volunteer something, I'd invite them.

After one of these events, I was driving one of these friends home, and she said she was surprised that I was a Christian because I was so nice. She didn't think of me as a church person Because my friends were poc and queer.

I was glad she felt safe enough to tell me, but also, I didn't know what to feel. Offended that her perception of Christians was so mean? Flattered that she considered me one of "the good ones"? Angry with other Christians who made her feel unwelcome because of the color of her skin?

In the decade since, I've gone through a lot of waves with my faith. Sometimes I wear my belief proudly, glad for the good works in the world. Other times, I see how Christianity has been used to hurt people, both on an individual basis and systematically in society, and I don't want to be associated with them.

The only thing that's been consistent is my faith in Jesus, and the belief He was someone who would sacrifice Himself for others, meet and become friends with everyone, and encouraged his followers to live everyone.

I read and study, and instead of answers, I get more questions, but maybe that's what God wants. God wants us to have differences and individuality, to think for ourselves and be unsure. Otherwise, God could just give us all the answers, or take away our free will and have little faith robots.

I don't know how much this relates to the post you were venting about, but I hope you get something from it. Just, there's a lot of translations, a lot of different versions, a lot of analysises, a lot of writings from the time that didn't make it into the Bible, just... a lot.

And I try to do research and learn, I try to listen to those who have been hurt so I can avoid hurting people in the future, but to me, faith comes down to two things, what Jesus said was the two greatest Commandments:

Love God

Love Others

Beyond that, it's up for debate. Most rules that matter fall under one of those two, usually the second (don't murder, don't steal, etc.). The others, dig a little deeper. Is it something that it's just always been this way and it may be time to reconsider? Or is there an actual legitimate reason it is done that way?

And yeah, we might not all agree on if something is worth following or not, but it's part of the whole "Love Others" thing to not judge unless it involves hurt to themselves or someone else (and even then, that can get debateable).

I don't know. I'm honestly terrified that I've not covered some base and what I'm saying may get taken out of context (especially on the 'how dare you say we piss on the poor' site). But you know what, if this resonates with someone, go in peace and love your neighbors.

[bearpillowmonster]

I'm gonna vent again because I just keep falling into it.

Every day is the same day, but I go to work and resort to making home my blueprint, trying to find a way out. Once I get my current writings done then I'll feel at some sort of peace with having tried. But every day I come home and I go straight for the shower and my dad goes "Who's there?" or something stupid and I get tired of it because it's every damn day and you still don't get the routine? Yeah, it's me, get over it, I'm half naked already by the time it takes you to notice.

I don't say hi because it's like I never left, I live here for gosh sake, it's not like they're gonna throw me a party, it's not like I have any news or conversation, we don't eat with each other or have those pass the salt moments, you saw me 3 hours ago for lunch. But because I didn't fake anything and just said "yeah" my dad thinks he's looking into it and says "well that was a sad yeah." or something along those lines. "Yeah, it's nothing. I don't know what you want." and he digs deeper and he asks if I'm mad. Of course, I wasn't mad before this but pointing it out does indeed make me mad because it reminds me that "oh yeah, there is something going on and I can't do anything to stop it." He pries and has the balls to ask for money all in the same breadth and I just say to leave me alone for a while so I can get over it.

I shower, eat, play a game to get it out, my dad seemed to drop it and show me his plane jpg that he saved on his computer that he was excited about and all isn't so bad...then he comes back and he does that ear grating knock, I don't know how to describe it but you know exactly what it is, it's a classic tune of pop goes the weasel or something I don't know. But I turn because I already know who does that knock and I already know this situation is about to be brought up again. It was.

The thing about someone talking about being angry is that it's not just me having a conversation with you, it's me having a conversation with myself and you at the same time which turns into an internal fight that goes beyond our conversation and I try to decide how to mediate it. "Fighting myself, I always lose" but he says that he has a suggestion and it's a kicker. Whether I considered online dating. And I was like- "yeah". I didn't clarify that I tried very nearly every site without paying and ended up deleting them all because they sucked. Here's just one of them. It wasn't really the way I wanted to go about it anyway, it was more to experience what it was but he ticked that "since I don't go out and do anything." uh, yeah, I just said that and complained that that's part of what's wrong with me and said I don't have enough money to do anything like that to which you responded to give you money. So he says that I'm getting in my own way.

What do you want from me? Now I'm all unsettled again. I flicked it off and said that I didn't want to talk about it. I didn't want to explain my love struggles or what I really think. I've considered getting a therapist but insurance is a fraud anyway, I don't even know why I have it if I still need-

So I guess premiums don't count? I get all my pills at a discounted price ($60 a bottle which isn't great but better than list 325) so it was either 11+ bottles of pills to finally hit the mark or use the coupon, I couldn't do both apparently to make it count. You see why I get so worked up? That 125 is actually the therapy charge that was supposed to be free for the first visit...I reported it as fraudulent on my card so it might not even stay there. Shouldn't I get rewarded for not getting hurt? Like wtf. Next you're gonna tell me that people in my area are getting hurt more often so my rates have gone up. The therapist wasn't very helpful either, I might've talked about it already, I don't know. Therapy would be a perfect excuse to build up that deductible but-3700 could be used towards so much, I just can't submit to subscribe to anything.

I saw Scrooge McDuck saying that money shouldn't be dormant, it needs to circulate and that's true if everyone does it and I like that theory but where can I put it to work? Where can I spend to make? I don't like gambling and that's basically stocks so...I'm not sure what specifics he had in mind.