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#at least i can eat scrambled eggs
sadlazzle · 1 year
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the answer to ‘what can i eat after a tooth extraction’ is, essentially, fuck all apparently
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k20spock · 7 months
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i think it’s really funny that so many people have mentioned feeling inspired by senshi to cook something nice for themselves and it’s hit me too now. I’m hungry and I could eat shit but I’m going to make senshi proud I’m going to get adventurous and cook something tasty.
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lottie-loo · 9 months
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Getting surgery in January guys!!
Say goodbye to a part of my jawbone 🥰
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grymmdark · 9 months
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whenever my dad says he's gonna make nachos what he really means is he's gonna put some shredded cheese on tortilla chips and put them in the oven until the cheese is crispy. it's not even a lotta cheese.
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mars-ipan · 2 years
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i think if ur just learning how to cook the first thing you should learn to make is grilled cheese (overcome fear of stove) and the second thing you should learn to make is eggs
#pasta too but i wanna rave abt eggs#eggs are your BEST FRIEND with easy cooking#they are simple. they are versatile#they are relatively cheap to buy. they last a pretty long while#you can eat them like a week after the expiration date (just like. use ur common sense)#and you can learn to make ‘em in a million different ways infinitely#i made egg sandwiches with a sunny-side up egg ALL throughout quarantine#and i spiced it up. i used different cheeses. i added avocado when i could#if we had bagels i was Using Those Bagels (cheese bagels work best imo)#i once added this trader joe’s spread to a bagel and put an egg on it and Oh My God#when i couldn’t make a sandwich i scrambled my eggs#it felt easier#eventually i microwave scrambled them (bad for taste but i at least i was eating)#and omelettes!!! i’ve been getting into omelettes lately#you can put fuckin Anything in an omelette and there’s a 99% chance it’ll stull taste good#literal like perfect vessel for making something out of what you have left in the house#i made an omelette with TUNA SALAD yesterday. and that shit rules#and eggs are easy to spice too#you can go the classic ROB (rosemary oregano basil) if you want#i put cumin and paprika in my tuna omelette and it really tied it all together#salt and pepper ofc. although i usually skip the pepper#but like. i only named 3 egg styles and alreadh so much variety#you can scramble anything. you can make an egg sandwich with anything. you can put anything in an omelette#AND they’re good for you. good protein especially#and of course: egg yummy
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szczylpierdolony · 2 years
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also i havent had a legitimately free day (no school and no one but me home) for like a month and i thought maybe id get one tomorrow but my mom will be home so probably in two weeks. maybe. ill get to have one and its making me go crazy
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dear-ao3 · 5 months
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best brownies in the known universe (at least, according to my grandma)
some year and a half ago when i was getting ready to move out i combed through all the family recipes that lay lost to time and one of the ones that i found was my grandmas brownie recipe. idk where she got it from (nor can i ask cause she has dementia) and its a printed out email she sent to my mom in june 2000. but by george these the best brownies i have ever tasted. would she be pleased that i am sharing this recipe with my vast following? absolutely.
YOU WILL NEED:
5 tablespoons butter (unsalted) 1 ounce unsweetened baking chocolate (or as much as your heart desires) 2/3 cup unsweetened good cocoa powder 1 cup sugar (white) (superfine preferred, normal works fine) 1 cup sifted white flour (can use gluten free) 1/2 teaspoon baking powder as much cinnamon as your heart desires (your heart needs to desire at least some cinnamon. its essential to the recipe) 3 egg whites 1 egg splash of vanilla extract (again, non negotiable step!)
preheat your oven to 325 degrees. grease a square baking pan (9x9 preferably).
in a small saucepan over medium heat melt the butter and baking chocolate. while that is melting, sift together the flour, baking powder and cinnamon into a small bowl. once the butter and chocolate is done melting add the cocoa powder and cook it together for 1 minute. add in the sugar and stir. it will get very thick. this is correct.
set that aside to cool. while thats cooling take a large bowl and put in your egg whites, egg and vanilla. beat it up with preferably a whisk but you can use a fork if youre fresh out of whisks. once the chocolate is cool enough to not scramble your eggs dump it in the eggs and mix it together. add the flour in gradually and keep mixing until its smooth and happy.
spread into your greased baking pan. put it in the oven for EXACLTLY 18 MINUTES. very crucial step. they will come out slightly under done. that is what we want. as they cool they will continue to cook in the pan. we dont want them to get hard and sad. they are not good when they are hard and sad. do not overbake them. you will be sad.
slice them up and as the official last step on the original recipe says: EAT ENJOY AND MAKE MORE! (theyre very good with mint chocolate chip ice cream)
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gimmethatagustd · 8 months
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morals on sundays | myg
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You're still in love with your ex-boyfriend. Yoongi offers some help to get over him.
○ Pairing: BFF!Yoongi x f!Reader
○ Rating: Explicit/18+
○ Genre: Friends with benefits, angst, smut, fluff
○ 6 / 100 Drabble Challenge (FWB)
○ Word Count: 2,177
○ Warnings: MC's boyfriend cheated on her, post-breakup blues, questionable decision making, fingering so good you'll try to run away from it, pussy eating, too much tongue sucking probably, Yoongi is a boob guy, they have matching Spongebob and Patrick coffee mugs so why aren't they married?? Idiots
○ Notes: Shout out to @sailoryooons for also writing about a daegu boy eating pussy tonight 😌 And, as usual, I wrote this with scrambled eggs for brains and didn't proofread it, so if you see any errors, no you didn't
○ Post Date: January 22, 2024
○ Masterlist | Send me ur thots
○ What was Jai listening to? Imported - Jessie Reyez ft. 6LACK
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Lately, you’ve felt like disappearing – not into a crowded city street in another country or down an unlit dirt road into the unknown, but into the warm folds of Yoongi’s hoodie. You’re already halfway there, with your fingers interlaced with his, shoved into the large front pocket, and your face tucked into his shoulder. 
“Fuck, I hate taking the bus,” he curses, his words turning into a cloud that disappears into the cold air. 
“How much time do we have?” 
Yoongi turns his head, and his lips briefly touch the cold curve of your ear. 
“You’re mumbling. What’d you say?”
“How much time until it comes?” You squint up at him, cheek still pressed against his shoulder. It’s too warm here to want to move. 
“Can’t check the app on my phone unless you give me my hands.” 
“No.” 
Yoongi chuckles and jostles your head by bobbing his shoulders. 
“I thought our date would cheer you up.” His complaint is playful, eyes sparkling in the streetlights when he returns his gaze to the empty road. You should have gotten a taxi. 
“I’m gonna die alone. Doesn’t matter how much late-night pizza I eat or how many stupid action movies I watch,” you grumble into Yoongi’s shoulder. 
“Even when the action movie lead has a super hot sex scene that’s poorly timed and irrelevant to the plot?” 
“Nope.”
“Even when the coolest guy on the entire planet was the one who took you?” Yoongi smiles cheekily, his gaze back on you. He wiggles his shoulders again, hard enough to bounce your head. 
Annoyed, you straighten up, hands still shoved in his pockets. The movie wasn’t that bad. The pizza was actually great. You’re just depressed. 
“I didn’t think it would take this long…” You whisper into the little space between your body and Yoongi’s. He knows you aren’t talking about the bus. 
Yoongi squeezes your hands inside his hoodie. The rest of you might be freezing in the winter night air, but at least Yoongi keeps your hands warm. He keeps your heart warm, too, with his sincere gaze when he looks at you. 
“You were too good for him.” 
Yoongi’s right. He’s always right. 
You’re sufficiently frozen by the time the bus finally arrives. Yoongi pays for you both because he’s trying to make life easy. No bumps in the road, no unnecessary stress. He lets you sit in a window seat so you can stare out at the blurry night scenery and have your sad main character moment for as long as it takes to get to your apartment. 
Once you arrive, he follows you inside and heads straight to the kitchen while you slump down the hall to your bedroom. The cold seeps so deeply into your bones that the sweatpants and sweater you change into barely help increase your body temperature. 
Maybe it’s because the sweatpants and sweater are your ex-boyfriend’s, and the universe wants to keep your body as cold as his heart was. 
In the kitchen, Yoongi uses a wooden spoon to stir hot chocolate in a small pot, your favorite kind that comes in a block of chocolate that melts with milk. It’s likely been years since Yoongi has made you hot chocolate. Cozy winter nights indoors were once commonplace, the two of you alternating between apartments to make each other snacks and treat cuddles like currency. The appearance of your ex put an end to the comfort you shared with Yoongi. It put an end to most things that brought you comfort. 
As you expect, Yoongi has two mugs out on the counter. You reach for yours, twisting it in your hands as you wait for him to finish. 
“Remember when Spongebob tried to become best friends with Squidward instead of Patrick?” Yoongi asks, turning off the stove. He uses a ladle to pour hot chocolate into his pink mug, then pours some into your yellow one. 
“Yes.” 
“He was Squidward. I’m just mad I didn’t get to blow up his house–” Yoongi laughs and nearly spills his drink when you smack him in the arm, “–with bubbles! With bubbles. I’m not homicidal.” 
Rolling your eyes, you set down your mug next to Yoongi’s, both drinks too hot to drink quickly. 
“Thank you,” you mumble, hooking your finger into his hoodie pocket and tugging lightly, the action absentminded. You keep your eyes cast downward because you don’t want him to see your tears if they run. “I’m sorry I’ve been in such a shitty mood. I know it’s been a while, but, it just… I don’t know. I can’t stop thinking about him, and everything fucking hurts…” 
Yoongi slips his fingers under your sleeve and circles your wrist, pulling your hand away from his pocket so he can lace your fingers together. They’re so much warmer now, defrosted by the heat blasting through your apartment and Yoongi’s hot chocolate. 
“Maybe you could start by not wearing his clothes?” Yoongi offers quietly. “Can’t imagine it’s easy to get over someone when you keep them on your body like that.” 
You sniffle and nod. Again, Yoongi is always right. 
“Easier said than done…” you mumble, giving him a weak smile when you finally meet his eyes. There’s something there in his expression, something that seems different. 
You don’t move away when Yoongi steps closer, even when he has you backed against the counter, even when you feel like you’re going to swallow your heart. 
“I could take them off for you,” Yoongi says softly. He lets go of your sleeve to pinch the hem of your sweater, tugging it lightly. “If you can’t do it, I can.” 
“Yeah?” You feel out of breath, maybe because you suck in your stomach when Yoongi’s fingers brush against it. 
“Yeah,” he echoes, fingers sliding along your ribs as he pushes your sweater up. “So you can get over him.” 
It’s a terrible idea, but your stomach flutters when he looks at you with sleepy eyes weighed down by the late hour and lust. He bites his bottom lip, and you feel your resolve slip as easily as Yoongi’s fingers do beneath your clothes. 
“I want to.” The declaration is desperate, and for a moment, you can’t do anything but stare into Yoongi’s eyes with an all-consuming sadness that eats at your insides, gnawing on bones and biting holes into your lungs. “God, Yoongi, I want to.” 
Yoongi touches his forehead to yours, making you close your eyes because he’s too close and you’re too much of a coward. 
“I’m sorry,” Yoongi whispers. His voice is as gentle as his hands on your bare waist, his thumbs caressing your sensitive skin. 
You raise your arms for Yoongi to pull off your sweater. He’s confident when he squeezes your tits, doesn’t even seem caught off guard when he realizes you’re not wearing anything under the sweater. He brushes his thumbs over your nipples as he leans in to kiss you, his tongue tasting sweet from the hot chocolate when he flicks it against yours. 
“Yoongi,” you call out with an airy sigh that harmonizes nicely with the sound of him sucking open-mouthed kisses down your neck. 
“Hmm?” Yoongi hums against the base of your throat, the vibration sending a tingling sensation straight to your clit. He keeps one hand on the counter beside your waist, caging you in, while his other hand cups your pussy over your sweatpants. 
“Oh,” you gasp, your hands immediately finding Yoongi’s firm shoulders when he starts rubbing your clit, occasionally dipping his fingers lower to press against your entrance, soaking the fabric. 
“These are his, too, right?” 
“Y-yes,” you moan as Yoongi pulls down your sweatpants, taking your underwear with them. 
You can’t say you never thought about how attractive Yoongi is; it’s hard to ignore. It’s just that Yoongi is your best friend. If anything were to happen between the two of you, you don’t know if you’d be able to survive losing him, too. You love him. 
But you also love your ex. 
It’s hard to think about that, though, with two of Yoongi’s fingers pumping in and out of your pussy. They’re long, reaching deeper than your own can when you finger yourself, always late at night when you’re lonely. It never feels good after. The clarity always seems to hit too quickly, like being dunked in a pool of ice water. 
Three months. That’s how long it’s been since another person touched you, since you found out your ex-boyfriend had been cheating on you. You didn’t realize how much you missed it until you’ve got your head thrown back and your thighs quivering as Yoongi fucks you with his fingers. You nearly climb up the counter, both wanting him to touch you more and trying to get away because it’s too good. 
Your ex never searched for the spot that would make your legs shake, but Yoongi does. He curls his fingers against your front wall and keeps up his rhythm, moving with your body when you can’t control where it goes. 
“Fuck, right there.” You’re burning up, veins turned to lava that’s rushing toward your core as Yoongi fucks you closer and closer to your orgasm until you’re on the verge of tears because you haven’t been touched in so long and you’re so lonely and you weren’t good enough. You weren’t enough. 
“Wanna make you cum,” Yoongi groans, deep and gravelly, between licking a stripe up your tits and sucking your nipples. 
“Please,” you moan, “Please, I’m so close.” 
Your arousal gushes around his fingers, slicking them up and making your pussy squelch when Yoongi flutters them inside you. He keeps his thumb pressed against your clit, almost too hard. It stops you from bucking your hips, but you can barely stand as it is. 
Yoongi’s lips are back on yours, red from sucking your nipples until it hurt. He whispers against your lips and opens his mouth to let you suck on his tongue with a pathetic whimper. 
“Not yet, though.” 
“Wha– Yoongi, no–” It’s embarrassing how loudly you cry out when Yoongi slips his fingers out of your pussy. You feel the fire in your core simmer until you’re left with a painfully throbbing clit and your juices smeared on your inner thighs. 
“Shhh, you know I always take care of you.” Yoongi shuts you up with a bite to your bottom lip. He leans down slightly to squeeze the backs of your thighs and hoist you up onto the counter. “Lean back.” 
The cold marble counter sends shivers across your body, but it can’t keep up with the heat of Yoongi’s mouth on your pussy. He kisses your lips so gently that you think you might actually cry before he pushes your thighs back, opening you up. 
“Oh fuck,” you moan as Yoongi goes straight for your clit, sucking on it as he swirls his tongue around it. You dig your hands into his hair and tug the strands hard enough to make him moan into your pussy. “Use your, use–” 
Yoongi laps at your clit in quick, consistent bursts that fall in line with the tempo he’s fucking you to with two fingers again. His free hand presses against your lower abdomen, keeping your body taunt so you don’t buck into his face or curl inward. It’s bad enough that you can’t stop your legs from shaking when one rests on his shoulder and the other drapes over the crook of his arm. 
It’s messy and loud, Yoongi licking and sucking your pussy like he really is trying to empty your mind of everything but the way the tip of his hot, wet tongue feels swirling your clit and the stretch of his fingers when he slips a third inside you and focuses on massaging the sensitive part of your walls. It’s working. He completely consumes your senses, down to how gorgeous he looks staring at you from between your thighs. 
Your Yoongi, fingerfucking you and sucking your clit like you’re his favorite meal. 
You try not to bang your head against the counter when you finally cum, instead focusing the overwhelming energy into pulling Yoongi’s hair to keep his face in your pussy.
He continues fucking you with his fingers through your orgasm, to the point that you can’t lie still any longer. 
“Yoongi, oh my god, Yoongi, it’s too much,” you whimper and gasp, thighs closing around his head until he finally eases his fingers out of you. 
Strings of your arousal connect his lips with your pussy until he swipes his tongue along his bottom lip, cutting them off. His bangs are pushed off his forehead and his hair sticks up from you pulling on it, but his eyes sparkle and his cheeks are just as rosy as his pink, slicked-up lips. 
“Shit,” Yoongi murmurs, leaning over you on the counter to kiss you. He shoves his tongue in your mouth and lets you suck your juices from it. 
You think you taste better on Yoongi’s tongue than on your ex’s. 
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Disclaimer: All my writing is fictional and for entertainment purposes only. None of these characters are meant to actually represent the real people mentioned in the stories. 
All rights reserved © @gimmethatagustd​ - Do not copy, repost, modify, or translate any of my writing. Do not use my writing for any AI purposes whatsoever. Do not use my fics for anything aside from reading and commenting on them. My fics will only be posted on this Tumblr and on AO3 (gimmethatagustd & daddytaehyungie). Request an AO3 account here. 
@jooniesxbby @seokteoksworld @taegeum @dprmoon @chimmisbae
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sgt-tombstone · 2 months
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au where Johnny never joined the military (his knee got fucked up before he could and they wouldn’t let him enlist) but it’s okay because that means he got to go to college and study engineering, which is the closest he could get to being a civilian demolitions expert
Anyway, the city his college is in has an army base nearby, which means that every dating app he opens is flooded with army boys looking to marry the first person who so much as looks at them the right way. Johnny’s never been relationship-oriented; he likes hookups too much to settle down like that, but he loves scrolling through to drool over all of the gym pictures
And then one catches his eye. Simon. He doesn’t show his face on his profile, but his muscles more than make up for it. His appearance, though, isn’t what Johnny is most interested in, because his bio says…
Anyone interested in committing marriage fraud?
And that’s… something.
So of course Johnny swipes. He doesn’t expect to match, because Simon looks like a Greek God, and he almost throws his phone across the room when the little heart appears, telling him that he and Simon have both swiped on each other. Which means that Simon swiped on him first. It’s a heady feeling, but he’s not really sure why.
John: marriage fraud?
It’s not his strongest first message, but sue him, he’s curious.
Simon: I’m not interested in a relationship or even sex, but I have a very vested interest in being able to move off base
John: so, what? we get married and then…?
Simon: we don’t have to live together or even like each other. You can finish your studies, get the tax benefits, and live your life as you choose while I get to move off base and maintain my privacy
Honestly, it sounds like a win/win to Johnny. He’s not struggling financially per se, but being able to live exactly as he is while also gleaning tax benefits is… an attractive choice.
John: and if I meet someone else that I’m serious about?
Simon: I have no qualms about an uncontested divorce
John: let’s meet up for lunch and discuss the details
———
Lunch is a simple affair, just a local restaurant, frequented by students and soldiers alike, so they both fit in well. Simon is unfairly attractive, even if he only reveals the bottom half of his face to eat or drink. He’s massive and blond and his eyes do something to Johnny’s insides that he can’t bring himself to dissect further. They chat over their food, sharing details about themselves. Johnny shares more than Simon, and he has a hunch that that’s on purpose, but he doesn’t mind. They click instantly, and Johnny can tell that Simon is taken aback by that. It’s sweet, almost, the way that such a large military man is floundering in the face of genuine human connection. After they’ve finished, they turn to business.
With a quiet, deep voice, Simon lays out his entire plan, and Johnny is fully on board. He’s ready to sign the papers today, but they legally have to wait a month.
It’s the longest month of Johnny’s life.
They text constantly, or as constantly as they can. Sometimes Johnny feels inordinately young and sometimes very inferior; while he’s talking Simon’s ear off about some explosive compound used in building demolitions, Simon is off… doing god knows what, god knows where, serving the country. But Simon always listens, always sounds engaged over the phone when they call, always has follow-up questions that show he’s actually interested. And while Simon can’t talk much about his work, he can talk about details. Small stuff; the awful food, the hot dust where he’s stationed, the day-to-day activities that don’t give away too much. Johnny learns that he’s a lieutenant, a sniper (though that’s more through context clues than anything else), that he wears a mask all the time to protect himself, that he doesn’t like scrambled eggs (or at least, not military scrambled eggs), that he has a very complex skincare routine, that he respects the hell out of his captain. That he’s a good man, or tries to be. That he’s a sweetheart, deep down, despite trying to hide it.
They eventually get married, down at the courthouse, with Simon’s captain, Price, and Johnny’s best mate, Kyle, as witnesses.
And then life goes on. Johnny continues his studies, continues going to parties and hooking up with people every weekend, continues living his life. He assumes that Simon does the same. They keep in contact, for the most part, except when Simon’s in the field and he can’t have his phone, but he always brings back little inconsequential stories when he returns. It’s nice, in a way. They’d never exchanged rings, but sometimes Johnny wishes they had, just so he had something tangible to tie him to his husband.
I’m not sure how it would end, though…
Maybe it would be Sweet Home Alabama style, where Johnny finds someone that he thinks he loves and has to get Simon to sign the divorce papers, only to realize at the last minute that he really doesn’t want to, that he’s been in love with Simon all along
Maybe Simon gets medically discharged and ends up moving in with Johnny, where they both dance around their feelings for each other, despite already being married
Maybe they just… realize one day, that they’ve slowly but surely fallen in love with each other over the years and suddenly, nothing else matters because they’ve got a lot of lost time to make up for
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dcxdpdabbles · 9 months
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In the cave boy fic, I hope Danny has to end up fighting against reanimated hot dogs (I blame the Joker) and when asked why he can fight off reanimated meat. he comments that that's a normal Tuesday in his house as his mom and dad end up reanimating dinner at least once a week, and honestly being here is the longest time he spent without having to fight against reanimated food. He loves his parents but they really need to practice better lab safety or at least stop putting the ectoplasm samples in the same fridge with the food.
This is also adjusted to the cave boy storyline before he takes out the Joker.
One morning, Brucie wakes up and decides to cook everyone breakfast since the night previous was rough for the crime fighters. Almost everyone had gotten injured in one of Riddler's games, nothing life-threatening, but they would be sore and in some cases, in casts for some time. Alfred had been the one to patch the heroes up, so even the aged butler had a rough time.
Bruice had woken before anyone, quickly frying up some sausages, making various versions of eggs (boiled, scrambled, fried, over-easy, omelets) spread out on the table for them to pick which lond they wanted. He made some oatmeal and cut up various fruit in a pretty arrangement of swans.
When the family finally dragged their tired bodies down to the table, they were all greeted by the sight of Alfred being utterly flabbergasted by the spread Bruice proudly presented. Bruicie happily has them take a seat, gathering a plate for them- not before forcing Alfred to sit at the head of the table and make Bruce move to the seat usually reserved for the Lady of the house- and cheerfully place a plate before him.
Everyone was giving each other unsure looks or staring at the plates in wonder. Even Bruce.
Because if there was one thing that was another consent in all the multiverse it was that Bruce Wayne can not cook. The closest any variate has even gotten was burned beyond recognition ash.
Yet here was an entire spread that while not the meal of kings still looked rather taste and some may even say artsty.
"Don't just sit there. Dig in!" Brucie laughs. His hair bounces around his face in an adorable helo, and the family can only stare.
"How did you do this? Is it laced with something?" Tim's voice is heavy with suspicion, which would have been an overreaction if everyone wasn't feeling the same way.
"What? No, It's just eggs, sausage and fruit. With some presentation, I guess, but this isn't hard to make," Brucie says with a hint of defensiveness. "I worked really hard on it."
"We all appricate it Brucie." Dick speaks up leveling the table with a hard look "And we will eat it no matter the taste."
Ah, that must be it. It may look editable, but indeed it would taste terrible. In fact, they wouldn't put it past a version of Bruce Wayne to cause them all to cling to a toilet with his cooking.
Knowing it best to get it over with, the Bats pick up a utensil and carefully cut a bite of eggs or sausage. They hesitate for a moment- Brucie digs in, chewing loudly and quickly through his omelet-throwing. Each other looks to wish them luck, and in one symmetrical movement, everyone eats.
It's...heavenly. It tastes as good as Alfred's food, which they thought no one could match. Before they know it, they fill their plates and go for seconds, not long afterward.
Alfred is all but glowing with paternal pride by the end.
"Young Master Brucie, I had no idea you knew how to cook and so wonderfully as well!" Aldred compliments
Brucie looks up, one piece of sausage dangling from his mouth, reminding them he had no table manners. How in the world does Alfred of his world allow that? They would never know.
Brucie swallows before grinning widely. "Thanks. I love cooking when it's not attacking me."
What?
"Come again?" Bruce asks, blinking slowly as Brucie launches into tale after tale about his food reanimating and creating armies in the family fridge to fight for their freedoms. Or just eating as quickly as possible to prevent the food from coming to life.
He jokingly points at the plate with the sausage. "We better hurry before they develop eyes."
He then just goes back to eating like nothing and the rest of the table is left horrified. Eventually, Brucie excuses himself to go watch a mind-numbing movie- because he doesn't do anything- and they rush the food down to the cave for tests.
They all panic until the results come back like usual, and they realize that he is likely just joking. They all feel bad for doubting him, all but Tim and Cass, who knew Brucie had not lied or joked.
His food honestly did come to life in his old world. They just don't know what to do with that information.
Why did Bruce have to be weird in all universes?
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sunsetsimon · 2 months
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i love your stuff about big eater simon with a reader who doesn't eat a lot, but i was wondering if you could do something with a reader whose appetite is as big as his?
☼ quality time is simon’s main love language, and eating is one of his favorite things to do, so being able to have you keep up with him in terms of appetite? he’s even more in love than he already was before.
it’s no surprise that a man his size with his lifestyle has to eat a lot to maintain himself, but i think people underestimate how much simon can really eat.
he’s not big on eating out, so most meals he’s making himself unless you offer to cook instead. a normal breakfast for him would consist of 5 or 6 eggs scrambled (or over-easy depending on his mood), at least 4 links of sausage, a side of potatoes, and some mixed veggies. sometimes he’ll even have baked beans and toast as well before topping it off with a homemade protein shake.
your grocery bill is hundreds because of how much the two of you eat, which he pays for of course, but he tries to be really good about using all the ingredients you already have at home to not be wasteful.
☼ so when big si is scarfing down his breakfast, his heart just swells seeing you keeping up with him. it’s a bonding experience for him to sit next to you while eating meals, talking about your day or watching a show in between each bite. your plate isn’t as big as his of course, but watching you eat a bigger amount of food makes him feel whole. simon just wants you to be happy and healthy, and knowing you’re eating well just marks those things off of his list.
plus he has so much fun cooking with you! he isn’t the best chef and only has a few things he knows how to make, but being led in the kitchen by you is so hot to him. he's a man who can take orders, but fuck they're so much better when they come from you.
☼ he eats pretty healthily for the most part, but he loves snacking. you can't be sitting on the couch for more than 10 minutes before he's standing up, "do you want some donuts, love?"
"simon we just ate dinner 20 minutes ago."
"okay... so is that a no?"
"hmm.. no, give me a few."
he chuckles as he already knew your answer, grabbing his favorite snack of white powdered donuts and cold milk to share with you. the entire bag ends up gone in that one sitting, and he just complains about how it's not his fault because they're so small! even though he purposely grabs the mini's every time, saying it'll make him eat less - yeah right.
☼ it's a breath of fresh air for him to be with someone who doesn't judge him on his consumption, he's just a big hungry man. although he has normal confidence and understands he has to eat a lot to maintain his shape, it can make anyone feel a bit insecure hearing comments of "wow you're eating all of that?!" si loves to indulge on anything food related, so the second you mention wanting something he's ready to go get it!
☼ also, he totally studies the menu before he goes anywhere new. opening the safari app on his phone, there's at least 1 menu to a restaurant in his tabs at all times. while trying to choose where to go for your dinner date, he's searching every restaurant, naming dishes off the menu he thinks you'd like. the choice is always yours though! he just wants to eat with you :)
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girlboylintjrwi · 1 month
Text
Band-aids
Troy comes back home from his father after losing another game. Lint helps him patch him up, again.
HELLO LINTROLLER NATION. I AM BACK AT IT AGAIN. I think I could have done better but this will never get done if I keep messing around with it..... ALSO! i guess inspired by. another fic that i wrote. if you wanna read that one too
Troy enters the house. As he closes the door behind him, he already feels his eyes begin to water.
Lint hears him walk through the door, and he puts his pen and paper down to go greet him. He isn’t surprised to see Troy crying, he lost another game and it’s safe to assume that his father didn’t take it well. He usually doesn’t. “Happened again?” Lint says, just above a whisper. Troy nods his head.
There is silence in the room now.
Lint speaks up again, “Do you wanna just hang out for a little bit? We could watch TV. You don’t have to say anything.”
Lint doesn’t see any marks, but that doesn’t mean they aren’t there or that nothing happened. Judging by the way Troy holds onto his arm, though, he has an idea of what may have occurred. The two of them walk over to the couch and take their seats. Neither of them really care what’s on the TV, they just care about being by each other’s sides.
Lint wraps an arm around Troy. This has happened enough times for Troy to know that Lint is safe, that he won’t hurt him, and now it is a comforting feeling for him. He likes being close to Lint. It’s nice to know what it feels like to be this close to someone and still feel safe.
“Hey, Lint, I’m not- I’m not, like, a disappointment, am I? My dad’s just lying, right broski?” Troy always asks this, and Lint always tells him that his dad is wrong. “No, Troy, you aren’t a disappointment. Not to me.”
Troy takes a deep breath. Tears still stream down his face, but it has slowed a bit since they sat down. “He hurt me. My arm.” “Do you want me to help?” “Not now. I like how we are now.” “Okay, man. I’ll patch you up later, then. We can stay here as long as you like.”
Lint wants to help more, but if Troy is okay for now, that’s all that matters. If Troy is happy, that’s enough for them.
Lint hates that he expects this kind of thing to happen after Troy loses games, and they wish that one day he won’t have to deal with this. What Lint didn’t expect, though, was for Troy to wrap his own arms around him and hug him. Lint’s not complaining, though. Troy lays his head against Lint’s shoulder. He looks tired. He can’t really blame him, it’s been a long day for both of them. It’s about time they got some rest.
Lint wakes up the next morning on the couch, and he immediately notices the absence of Troy in his arms and the sound of eggs scrambling in the kitchen.
Lint got up from the couch and moved slowly to the kitchen. They probably would’ve slept better if he’d gone to his own bed, but they don't mind waking up on the couch because he knows Troy was happy. Lint starts brewing a pot of coffee, and he barely even notices Troy in the corner of his eye cooking scrambled eggs. Surely the eggs are burnt by now, they should've been done a minute or two ago. But they notice something else, too. Troy is wearing a short-sleeve shirt, and now Lint sees exactly what Troy was talking about last night. He saw what was hurting and he wishes they could’ve helped him earlier.
“Does your arm hurt? I could help you make it feel better.” Lint asks. His voice is still groggy and crackly, since they’ve just woken up. “Nah broski, it hurts a little but I’m cookin’ up some freaking scrambled eggs, man!”
Lint glances into the pan. That is not edible. At least not anymore.  “Hey, man, I think the eggs are burnt. Like, I don’t think that’s edible.” “Oh.”
Lint turns the stove off and takes the pan full of extremely burnt scrambled eggs outside. The 2 of them did try to eat the scrambled eggs, but like Lint thought, they weren’t very appetizing.
Well, that’s three perfectly good eggs down the drain. Or should they say, into the yard for stray animals to get after. They place the now empty pan in the sink when they return, and he grabs an ice pack from the freezer. He always has ice packs ready now, just in case Troy gets hurt. And he gets hurt more often than not. Even though they’ve played this game a hundred times before, Troy still just looks back at Lint as if he’s a deer in headlights.
“Dude, I’m fine. It’s not even that bad, man, it’ll just go away soon…” Troy murmured. “But it does hurt, doesn’t it? And it could hurt a little less. Just hold that ice pack up to your arm, wherever it hurts most, man! I’ll be back in a second!” Lint replies before running off to grab a box of band-aids, which in this situation are completely useless, but it’ll make Troy feel a bit better and they know that.
Lint rushes back to where Troy stands in the kitchen holding a box of regular old band-aids. They would’ve grabbed the fun ones with cartoon characters on them, but they ran out of those from last time and this is all they’ve got now. Lint grabs a couple of band-aids and applies them to the bruises. This act isn’t going to help anything, really, but it’s the thought that counts. This says ‘I love you’ better than any words could, at least for Lint and Troy.
For them, they don’t need to say ‘I love you’ to each other, it’s already present in the way that they speak, in the way they look at each other, it’s present in every little thing that they do. Even if Troy is still unlearning, even if Lint is stuck waiting to hear those words for the rest of his life, that’s fine by them. Because everything is okay now. Troy is safe, Troy is smiling. Troy is happy, and so is Lint.
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mama2bears · 26 days
Text
Starting Over Again - Chapter 4
Pairings: Tyler Owens/Female Reader
Warning: Injury, Tornado, a few swear words, near death of character
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A/N: The words to the songs used in this story is “River and Highway” by Pam Tillis and “Starting Over” by Chris Stapleton. I don't own any of the lyrics or songs.
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3
Chapter 4
The sound of a door closing startles you awake.
“Morning!” Tyler smiles at you, holding a bag of something that smelled amazing.
“What is that I smell?” you ask, sitting up.
Tyler sits next to you on the bed as he pulls out the to go boxes, “We have a good 'ol Oklahoma breakfast here! Chicken Fried Steak with scrambled eggs and biscuits and gravy .There's donuts, cookies, sticky buns, and chips in the truck along with plenty of water for snacks.”
He gives you your box and hurries over to the dresser in the room, “I also got us coffee and orange juice. Cream or sugar for the coffee?” he asked.
“Oh...um...both.” you answer looking over the food, “Do you always eat this big for breakfast?”
“Only on days that we are planning to be out chasing most of the day. Might not be enough time to stop for lunch, so we fill up with a big breakfast and bring plenty of snacks.”
“Thank you. This all smells amazing.” you start to eat as the room grows silent.
“I am sorry about last night.” you broke the silence, you're eyes meeting Tyler's.
“What are you sorry about?” he asked.
“I am sorry I woke you up. Sorry I cried all over you.” you gave a small smile, “Sorry I unloaded my ugly past on you.”
“Don't be sorry.” he smiled softly, “I didn't mind.” he paused as he thought about his next words. Should he tell her the truth, that he believed he was falling in love with her, that he wanted to get to know her better, that he wanted more nights of her falling asleep safely in his arms? Or, should he play it safe, not knowing how she feels, wanting to give her time to move at her own pace, what felt comfortable for her..finally, he gave a small smile, “What are friends for, right?”
“Right,” you smile at him. You're both relieved and a bit saddened.. At least you knew how he felt about you now. You were friends, and that's how it should be, at least for now. You only met him yesterday. Sure, he was easy on the eyes and you felt at home wrapped in his arms...but he was a friend. You were still married to an abusive husband that may or may not be tracking you down right now. You honestly couldn't pin point exactly how you felt about Tyler. Your heart was screaming you loved him, but your mind was saying take it slow, you don't even know him. This was how you got into trouble with Lee. You were lonely and looking for love and fell for the wrong guy. You did not want to make THAT mistake again.
“Anyway, I think I got the room situation straightened out.” he stated after a moment of silence. “They gave us the wrong room yesterday. There is a couple here on vacation and they only needed one bed. They accidentally got our double room and we got the king one. We're going to pack our stuff up this morning and by the time we come back tonight they will have the rooms switched for us,” he paused, “That is if you are still okay sharing a room...”
“Yeah, that's fine,” you give him a smile.
“Great, I'll start loading up the truck and we can hit the road.”
“What's the plan for today?” You try not to notice how tight his black shirt was fitted over his chest, try not think about how he looked dripping wet or how warm and safe he felt as he held you close to him.
“You and me are going to ride together. I've got a laptop with weather radar set up in the truck. Help us track the storms, take video and photos. Boone and Lily are going to be in the other truck filming as well. Dexter and Dani will bring up the rear in the RV. Dexter is going to be helping track the storms with the systems in the RV.”
“Sounds exciting.” you nodded, eager to get started on your first day being a storm chaser.
“What's the biggest tornado you ever been in?” he asked.
“Not many big tornadoes in Tennessee.” you said, “Probably would have been an F3 that hit downtown Nashville. My mom and I were there on a weekend trip to see the Grand Ol Opry when it came though. There was an F5 during that weekend as well, but it was farther away from where we were staying. It was known as the Forgotten F5 because of the lack of news coverage. Everyone covered the tornado that hit downtown Nashville because it was so unusual for a large tornado to strike a downtown area, actually, it was the first F3 tornado to hit a downtown area in twenty years.”
“Were you scared?” he asked softly.
“Terrified! I was only a kid and I was already scared of storms...that only enhanced my fear. We had to run and take shelter in a building. Windows were breaking, glass littered the downtown streets, the sky was so dark it was like night.”
“Yet, here you are...a storm chaser chasing tornadoes...riding your fears!” he grinned.
“Riding your fears...what exactly does that mean?”
“It means you don't just face your fears, you jump in and conquer them. You can't just run and hide from it. You learn from your fears. In the case of tornadoes, we face them head on to try to learn about them, and prevent more people from getting hurt.”
“Makes sense.” you nodded, “are you scared of the storms?”
He was silent for a moment before answering, “Yes...and no. I am not scared of anything happening to me. I know the risks and I take them. I make it fun. I am scared for my team though, for those I care about...” he looks you in the eye, “I am scared for all the people in the path of the storm. We can't always stop a tornado, we can't always predict when and where it's going to hit. Sometimes, we miss it. Sometimes we are too late. That is what I fear.”
You nodded as you finished your breakfast, “That's why I wanted to get into weather. I was terrified of storms as a child, but as I got older I learned to love them. I loved the beauty and power of storms, but I hated the devastation they caused. I wanted to help find a way to warn people and to help people.”
“Well, you're in the right place then.” He grinned, “ready to ride your fears?”
“Defiantly.” you give him a smile back, feeling confident about the day and your decision to come to Oklahoma.
* * * * *
Lee sat staring at his computer, “I will find you, Y/N. I swear, you can't hide from me forever.”
He typed in your name again and was about to give up, not finding any results until...
“Who's the new mystery girl with the Wranglers?”
Lee clicked the link and found varies videos and photos from fans for a group called The Tornado Wranglers, who currently appeared to be in Oklahoma.
There, he found a picture of a woman standing next to a red Dodge Ram with a bunch of equipment attached to it. To Lee it looked like one of them tornado trucks.
“Who's the new mystery girl with the Wranglers?” the poster asked.
“She just showed up yesterday, I saw her and Tyler at a restaurant. They haven't introduced her yet. Maybe she's a girlfriend?” another poster stated.
Lee zoomed in on the photo and grinned, “So...Oklahoma.” he muttered, “not far enough. Not far enough at all.” he clicked on the link that lead him to the Tornado Wranglers YouTube channel.
After a few videos, he figured out that the team was currently in El Reno Oklahoma and the photos from the fans proved it was differently his Y/N hanging out with them.
* * * * *
“Any leads yet?” Tyler asked you as the team drove though a lonely country road. So far, the day had not seen much action.
“Here, just west of here.” you point on the radar, “it looks to be getting high and that hook is forming.”
Tyler glances at the radar and nods in agreement, “Dexter, what about that cell just to the west?”
“I am watching that one, Ty. Looks promising. What does Y/N think?” he called back.
Tyler flashed you a grin, “Ah, she agrees! That's where we're heading!”
You smiled to yourself as you looked out the window at the building storm. You were happy to have made a good decision, a step in the right direction, proving that you did know a little something about storms.
“THERE!”you shout, We got a funnel!” You pull out your camera and start filming the development of the twister.
“Hang on...we're going in!” Tyler grinned, jerking the truck to the right and though an open field.
You let out a scream of surprise and grab for the dash, “What the hell do you mean we're GOING IN!”
“Ride your fears baby, ride your fears!” Tyler yelled out, parking a mere feet from the now fully developed tornado, “Look at her! She's beauty!” he screamed over the roaring winds, but he was looking more at you then the tornado as he mashed the button, anchoring the truck to the ground. “Hang on!” he yelled.
You hold the video camera with one hand, keeping a death grip on the dashboard with the other. You couldn't believe what was happening. The tornado was going to go right over you.
“Tyler, is this SAFE?” you yell.
“Sure it is! This looks to be a EF2, maybe EF3. Depends on the damage it does. This truck is good up to EF4.”
And then the truck was surrounded by a whirling black cloud, debris bouncing off the metal with big thuds, pops, and bangs. The roaring of the wind and the shaking of the truck felt and sounded like a freight train running right over you.”
And just like that, as quickly as it started...it was over.
You looked at Tyler with a huge grin, “Oh my GOD! That was a freaking tornado! We were INSIDE of a TORNADO!” you shouted.
“Nothing like it, now is there?” he flashed you a grin.
“Thank you...” you smile at him.
“For what?” he asked, “putting you in the path of a tornado?”
“For giving me a chance...for giving me this experience..for being there.” You shrugged. You didn't know how to put into words everything you were feeling. This man gave you a job without even knowing if you were telling the truth. He was willing to give up his hotel room so you could be comfortable. He held you in his arms last night when you woke up screaming from a nightmare. He has done everything he could since you met him to make sure you were safe and taken care of. Then, he gives you the experience of a lifetime by driving directly into a tornado.
“Anytime, Darling.” Tyler smiled at you, “This tornado seemed to be a little short lived, but lets drive though town and make sure everyone is okay. If the radar still looks quiet we could grabs some dinner.”
“Sounds good.” you agreed.
“We're taking a ride though town, make sure everyone is okay. If all is good and radar is quiet we'll grab something to eat.” Tyler called over the radio as the trio of vehicles made a turn into town.
As you rode though the town, gazing out the window, you were thankful that it appeared that the only damage was to some trees and power lines, maybe some roof shingles and windows. Everyone looked to be okay.
“What you see on radar?” he asked you.
“Not much of anything. All the storms seemed to have died out for the day.”
“Let's call it a day, guys.” Tyler radioed, then looked at you, “Can I take you somewhere?” he asked.
“Sure.” you shrugged.
“I am going to take Y/N for a little tour and lunch. How about we meet up back at the hotel later tonight and we'll make our plan for tomorrow?”
“Sounds good Ty.” Lily confirmed.
“See you tonight.” Dani agreed.
“Hey, don't do anything I wouldn't do!” Boone yelled into the radio, making you blush a little.
“Idiot.” Tyler laughed.
“There's a sandwich shop on up the road here, do you mind if we take it to go?”
“No, not at all.”
Tyler pulled into the parking lot and hurried around the truck, opening the door for you before you had the chance. He started to reach for your hand as you walked towards the little shop, but decided against it. You hadn't lend him to believe you wanted anything more then friends, but he was determined to be there if and when you changed your mind. He stepped a bit ahead of you instead and opened the door to the shop.
“What will it be?” he asked as you two looked over the menu above the counter.
“All American sub with mayo.” you answer
Tyler placed the order for the two sandwiches, drinks and chips and you two walk back to the truck.
“So, where are you taking me?” You asked when he opened the truck door for you again.
“To a little slice of heaven on Earth.” he grinned, giving you a wink, “It's only a few miles up the road.”
Within minutes, Tyler turned next to a sign that read 'Lake El Reno Park'
“There's a creek that runs into this lake, called Fourmile Creek” he told you.
“Let me guess...it's four miles long.” you grin.
“Yep!” Tyler smiled, “It feeds into the lake and there's a bridge that goes over the river...” he paused, “It's just a nice place for a picnic I thought.”
“Sounds beautiful.” you smile as he parks and collects the food bag and a blanket. You open the door and get out this time before he gets around to open it for you.
“Hey...that's my job,” he pretended to pout.
“I am a big girl and I know how to open my own doors.” you stated.
“But I like to open them for you.”
“Alright, next time.” you agree.
Tyler spreads the blanket down and you set out the sandwiches, chips and drinks and take a seat next to him.
“Oh...one more thing I forgot.” he grabbed his keys and sprinted back to the truck. A moment later he returned with a guitar.
“You sing?” she asked.
“I try.” he laughed. “There's a old country song that this place reminds me of.” he said, strumming a few cords. “Um, here, let me just sing a few verses for you.” he starts playing the music and softly sings
And he rolls, he's a highway. Where he goes, time will tell. Heaven knows, she can't go with him. And he rolls, all by himself. All by himself.
But every now and then, He offers her a shoulder. And every now and then She overflows. And every now and then A bridge crosses over. It's a moment, every lover knows.
And she rolls She's a river Where she goes Time will tell.
Tyler trailed off seeing a tear roll down your cheek.
“Hey, what's wrong?” he asked, setting the guitar to the side, “I am sorry, I didn't mean to upset you.”
“No...no you didn't. It's a beautiful song, one I have loved for a long time.” you whisper then smile at him. “I never figured you for the romantic type.”
He shrugs it off picking up his sandwich, “Aw, it's just that I can kinda relate to the song is all.”
“Is there a special someone in your life? Or was there?” you ask, almost afraid of the answer.
He locks his eyes on yours, “There hasn't been. I dated...a lot...but there hasn't been that special someone..” he wanted to say, 'until now.' but he decided to hold it in, for now.
You both finish your lunch and make small talk about the chase of that day and team. Tyler cleans up the trash and sits back down next to you.
“It's so peaceful and quiet out here.” he said softly, watching the sun go lower on the horizon.
“Yeah, it is.” you agree, “I miss this. Before Lee, I used to love hiking though the mountains, or taking a quiet boat ride on the lake. Some days I would go into the woods, climb up in a tree and just read a book.”
“I'd like to do that sometime.” Tyler turned and locked his eyes on yours, “with you. Maybe you can take me to Tennessee and show me the mountains you loved, or we can spend the day cruising a lake. Maybe I could take you up to the Ozark Mountains around my home town.”
“I'd like that.” you smiled.
“One more song before we head back?” he asked picking up the old guitar. “There's another one that seems to be running though my head. Sometimes...I can say what I want in a song better then I can words.”
“Really? I am the same way. The song speaks to what I am feeling and can't say.”
Tyler strums a few cords and smiles softly at you, “You are the only person I have met that understands that. OK, so here it goes.."
And it don't matter to me Wherever we are is where I wanna be And honey, for once in our life Let's take our chances and roll the dice I can be your lucky penny You can be my four-leaf clover Starting over
This might not be an easy time There's rivers to cross and hills to climb Some days we might fall apart And some nights might feel cold and dark
But nobody wins, afraid of losing And the hard roads are the ones worth choosing Someday we'll look back and smile And know it was worth every mile
He lays the guitar down and reaches for your hand, “Y/N. I am sorry about this morning.”
You frown, “What about this morning?”
“I referred to us as friends.” he sighed, “We are friends, always will be. I'd like to be something more with you though. That's what I am trying to say in these songs because Lord knows I am not good with words and I am not good at showing my feelings. I know we only met yesterday, but I believe in love at first sight. I knew I was going to love you the moment you stepped off that bus. There was a connection there and I can't explain it. We'll take this as slow as you want, I am not going anywhere.” his eyes glistened with tears, “I hate that you've been hurt in the past. I wish I was there to save you then, but I am here now. I swear I will never do anything intentionally to hurt you. I'd like for us to date, hang out, whatever you want to call it. I want to be with you as much as you will have me. I want us to be a team, to be friends, and to be more...when you are ready.”
“I want that too.” you whisper, “I never felt this way about anyone. Not even Lee. I was lonely and scared and looking for love and I thought I was in love with him...but now that I've met you...I can't explain what this feeling is. It's so much more then I have ever felt before for anyone. I feel safe with you. I feel comfortable with you. You feel like home, and when I say that, I mean the home I grew up in. A home that was my safe place. A home where I was loved and felt like I belonged. I haven't known a home in a very long time, but I believe I have found it with you.”
Tyler leaned in slowly and paused, waiting for your permission. Waiting to see if you would lean in or pull away. His eyes gazed into yours and you felt butterflies in your stomach as you leaned forward and brushed your lips against his. He wrapped his arms around you and deepened the kiss.
A clap of thunder made you jump as lighting streaked across the sky.
“Well, I knew there sparks between us, but that was amazing.” Tyler grinned, standing up and helping you up. “Let's get to the truck before the skies open up.”
Tyler holds the blanket and guitar with one hand and your hand with the other as you both run for the truck.
“Where's the keys?” he asked checking his pocket where they were suppose to be.
You look around the ground and inside the truck and spot the keys and cell phone on the backseat.
“Tyler...those keys?” you grin.
“Oh no. no. no. no.” he pulls on the doors but they were locked.
“Okay,” he sighed, “You got your phone? We'll call someone out here to unlock the truck. I must have left them there on the seat when I got the guitar.”
“My phone is in the truck. I didn't think there was a reason to bring it just for a picnic. I am sorry.” you muttered as the rain began to pour down.
“It's okay.” he wrapped you in a hug, but looked at the sky with concern.
The air pressure was changing and you picked up on it too. Wind swirled around you and suddenly from inside the truck you heard the alerts go off on your phones.
Tyler quickly scanned the area for a safe place to go. “There!” he pointed to a ditch next to the river, “Go!”
He runs behind you pushing you towards the ditch as debris fly around. “Down!” he yelled over the roaring winds as he pushes you into the ditch, throwing his body over yours and pushing you as close to the ground as he could. He covered your head with one arm and kept the other arm wrapped around you. “Just hang on, it's going to be okay!” he promised.
You hear trees snapping in half, feel the pounding of the rain, you feel the wind trying to suck you up...and suddenly, Tyler screams out in pain and you feel his body get shoved against yours.
“TYLER!” You scream grabbing his arm that was still tightly holding you. “TYLER! YOU OK?”
“I am okay.” he promised as he gasped for air, “I think it was a tree that fell on top of us. You okay?” he asked. He felt what he assumed to be sharp broken off branches cutting deep into his leg, the weight of the tree pinned against his back.
“Yeah, I am okay.” you told him as the winds finally calmed down. The rain continued to beat down in sheets. Tyler was laying against you gasping for air.
“Tyler?” you were worried when he didn't move. Were you trapped? How badly was he injured?
Tyler laid there, feeling the blood running down his leg. He knew he couldn't get himself out, but he was damn sure going to do whatever he could to get you out.
“I am stuck here pretty good.” He finally answered, not wanting to concern you, “I am going to try to left up a little. I want you to get out from under me and go get help.”
“Tyler, no...I can't leave you.”
“Y/N...I don't know if there's more twisters out here or not. This rain pouring down could lead to flooding. The river is literally right next to us. I will be okay, we just need some help lifting this.”His body collapsed against yours as he worked to catch his breath again and you knew there was something more serious wrong.
“OK.” you agree, knowing that you weren't going to leave him, but also not wanting to waste his energy arguing about it.
“Ready?” he gasped, fighting against the pain. He had to remain conscious, at least until he knew you were free.
“Ready.” you answered.
Tyler screamed in pain as he pushed up against the tree and collapsed back against you. “Too heavy.” he gasped his body seemed to go limp.
“Tyler...stay with me.” you pleaded, trying to wiggle enough room to at least turn around and look at him and see how badly he was injured.
“I'm here.” he muttered, “just...need...to rest.”
You both lay in silence for a moment, the unrelenting rain washing over you. The rain was so intense that at first you didn't notice the water filling the ditch. It wasn't much, but you could tell it was raising.
“Tyler...water. We got to get out of here.”
Panic raced though his body. Water was filling the ditch, it was flooding...and he had you pinned face down. He was trying to protect you...now he was your death trap. He had to move, even if it killed him. He had to ignore the pain and move so you could be free.
“Y/N..listen to me.” he gasped. “I am going to move this thing.” he paused catching his breath.”You don't worry about me. You fight, you get out of here. You will drown if you stay pinned under me, and that in itself will kill me. I will NOT be a cause of pain for you. You get out of here and get help. Please Y/N...I need to know you will be alright.”
“Okay, I will.” you promise though the tears, “Tyler...I love you. I love you like I have never loved before.”
He laid his face against yours and kissed your cheek softly, “I love you too baby girl. Hang on, we will get through this. We will get through this and I will show you the love you deserve.” he choked back his own tears, trying to hide the pain in his voice. He didn't think he was going to get out of this one, but he dame sure was going to try.
Tyler took a deep breath, “Okay, on the count of three. I lift and you get out of here..one...two..THREE!” he lifted with all his might, ignoring the pain raging though his body.
If anything good was coming from the rising water, it was making the ground softer. You pulled and felt yourself sliding free. “I am out!” You yelled, scrambling to your feet as quickly as possible.
Tyler collapsed back to the ground, now having to raise his head to keep it above water as he gasped for air. “Go...go get help.” he pleaded as his eyes drifted close and he slumped face first into the ever rising water.
“NO! TYLER!” You hold his head above water, “please, you gotta stay with me. Help me...I need you to help me.”
He moaned hearing your voice calling to him. You needed him. He had to fight to stay awake. “I am here.” he muttered.
“I am going to try to move this tree and free you. Stay with me..hold your head up for me so I can try to free you.”
“Hmm hmm.” he muttered.
“TYLER!” you screamed.
He jolted awake.”I am here. I am here.”
“We gotta hurry, the water is rushing in now, but it might help me to move this off of you.” you looked at the mangled tree that was pinning his waist to the ground.
Tyler nodded, holding his head as far up as he could. You push against the tree, going with the flow of the water. Tyler screams out in pain but you keep pushing, you can't stop. If you stop, he drowns.
Slowly the tree shifts, and Tyler is able to roll over on his back and start to pull himself out, but suddenly the tree rolls back, crashing into his chest and completely pinning him under the rushing water.
“Oh God no! TYLER!” You scream, trying to lift his head up, but the water is just too deep and the tree was pined against his chest.
He was glad for one thing, the water was washing the tears in his eyes away. This was it..this was how he was going to die. He was going to drown. He always figured it would be a tornado that took him out, but he never thought about a flood. His heart broke for you. All the pain that your husband had put you though, he thought maybe he could be a chance at happiness for you...now, he would just be the cause of more pain. His lungs screamed for air and his final thought was at least he protected you from the tornado. He could only pray that you would find safety from this flood...he wished he could be there with you, holding you in his arms and comforting you. He wished he could still protect you...and then nothing but blackness.
“NO!!!!” you scream, feeling him go limp in your arms. You struggle to hold on to him, struggle to free him. Suddenly the tree shifted in the current and and you pulled with everything that was within. You felt him come free and you struggle to pull him out of the water and away from the ditch.
“Tyler...” you cried, feeling for a pulse and not finding none...”You can't leave me...” you yell, placing your palms over his heart and doing 30 compressions. You pinched his nose closed, tilting his head back and covered his lips with yours, blowing in two breaths before going back to compressions ....one...two..three you counted until reaching 30 again.
You check again for a pulse. There was none.
Giving him two more breaths you continue the compressions with tears streaming down your face, mixing with the pounding rain.
Suddenly Tyler gasped and started coughing. Quickly you turn him over to his side and hold him as he coughs up water.
“Tyler..” you cry, rubbing your hand along his arm...he continues coughing and gasping, spitting up more water and then lets his body collapse back against you. “Ty...” you hold him close to you, running your hand though his hair.
“You okay?” he asked, opening his green eyes to gaze up at you.
“You DIE on me, and you asking if I AM okay?” you laugh though the tears.
“Well...” Tyler was gasping for air still, pain etched into his face, “are you?”
“I'll be okay when you're okay.” you tell him, checking him over for injures. You spot the blood soaking though his jeans from a large gash in his leg. “I gotta go to the truck and get that blanket. You need something to slow the bleeding on your leg.” you tell him, but he doesn't answer.
“No...Ty.” fear grips you as you quickly check for a pulse, breathing with relief when you find one. Quickly you run to the truck and back to Tyler, wrapping the blanket around his leg as tightly as you could, keeping your hand pressed against it. “Hang in there,” you whisper, watching the slow rise and fall of his chest.
“You all okay?” You hear someone yell. It was a police officer out checking the streets after the storm.
“NO! We need help! We need an ambulance. He has a bad cut on his leg.” you yell, not willing to leave Tyler's side.
“Ambulance is on it's way ma'am.” the officer told her.
“Sir, one more thing...could you tell the Tornado Wranglers at El Reno Inn that Tyler Owens is hurt and heading to the hospital? That's our storm chaser team. They will be looking for us. The names are Lily, Dani, Dexter, and Boone.”
The officer wrote down the names, “Will do.” he nodded.
* * * * *
Chapter 5
******
Tag List
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Text
Kate is the only one who can do this to him
Bruce Wayne is sitting at the kitchen table, eating breakfast. The morning sun filters through the windows, casting a warm glow over the room. The kitchen is quiet until Kate Kane enters, talking on her phone.
KATE
(into phone)
Yes, I’ll be there. Yes… Kelly, stop panicking. Hold on a sec.
Kate walks over to Bruce, casually reaching over and grabbing a few pieces of scrambled eggs from his plate. She pops them into her mouth, then eyes a strip of bacon and takes it.
BRUCE
(half-hearted protest)
That… That was mine.
Kate holds up a finger, still ignoring him as she continues her call.
KATE
(into phone)
Is Mike going to be there for the meeting? … You’re sure? I can’t have him just not show up again.
Kate leans in, whispering to Bruce.
KATE
(whispering)
I’m just gonna take the other strip.
She takes the second piece of bacon. Bruce looks at her, exasperated.
BRUCE
(sighs)
Hey, hey, stop doing that.
Kate pulls away from her phone for a moment, dismissing his complaint.
KATE
You’re fine, I’m in a hurry.
She returns to her call.
KATE
(into phone)
Sorry, my cousin is pestering me. Now, he’ll be there? … Good. I’ll be a little late, it’s—
Kate lifts Bruce’s arm to check his watch.
KATE
Shit, 10:10 already? So I’ll be there in another ten minutes… Yes, I’m aware I’ll be late, but Mike has been late fifteen times— Hold on.
Kate grabs Bruce’s glass of orange juice from his hand and drinks it down in one go. Bruce taps his fingers on the table, clearly aggravated. Kate finishes the juice, her face contorting at the taste.
KATE
Tangy. Is there pulp in this?
BRUCE
(trying to process)
Yes.
KATE
You’re weird. Here.
She hands the empty glass back to Bruce, who takes it, unamused.
BRUCE
(sarcastically)
Oh, thank you, I needed the glass back. Want my coffee too?
KATE
Nah, there’s no cream in there.
Kate returns to her call, as Bruce stares at his now nearly empty plate.
KATE
(into phone)
Kelly, we’re going to get into this expo. Just keep him busy… Thank you. See you in 10 minutes.
Kate ends the call and turns to Bruce, who’s left with only a piece of toast on his plate.
KATE
(smirking)
Business meetings, am I right, cuzzo?
BRUCE
(frustrated)
Hn, yup. At least you filled up on my food and drank my juice before heading in. Don’t want an empty stomach!
Kate ruffles Bruce’s hair playfully.
KATE
I know, thanks for that. I’m gonna head out. Thanks for letting me crash here while my place is being fumigated. I’ll be back in a few hours. What’s Alfred making for dinner, by the way?
BRUCE
(raising an eyebrow)
Oh, do you want me to make you a plate, or will you just eat off mine again?
KATE
(teasing)
You can make me one. It’s the least you can do as a rich man. Aww, you’re so sweet. I’m off.
Kate grabs the piece of toast from Bruce’s hand just before he can take a bite and heads for the door. Bruce groans.
BRUCE
(sarcastic)
Oh thanks, I didn’t want the toast anyway. I’ll be fine with coffee!
KATE
(calling out as she leaves)
Kay, I’m taking one of your cars! Bye!
The front door closes with a thud. Bruce sighs, rubbing his forehead.
BRUCE
(muttering)
I wanted… some of that. This is what happens when I’m a good person.
The Wayne kids, who have been silently watching the whole scene from the table, exchange glances.
DICK
(trying to process)
How did she manage to do all that?!
BRUCE
(grumbling)
Shut up… Welp, I’m not getting back up to get more. I’ll eat yours.
Bruce casually reaches over and takes Jason’s plate, starting to eat off it. Jason glares, grumbling.
JASON
(complaining)
Come to breakfast, you said. I’ll enjoy it, you said. Jesus!
Jason tries to grab Dick’s plate, but Dick slides it away, shaking his head.
DICK
(firmly)
I’m not the one right now.
Jason, not to be deterred, swipes Tim’s bagel instead and takes a big bite. Tim just shrugs.
TIM
(seriously)
I’m cool. I can actually be good with the coffee.
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gainerbf · 11 months
Text
•How I’ve gained weight•
I’ve wanted to make a post like this for a while now because I get the question ‘how do I gain weight’ often. Here is an outline of what I’ve been doing
-In the morning, I try to have eggs. 4 eggs scrambled with a slice of cheese is my go to. That’s 24 grams of protein right away. Add a tall glass of milk (for me chocolate milk) and boom, 30 grams of protein immediately.
-I work on the road during the year so around lunch time I would try to snack on cashews and peanut butter crackers. Once I’m off work around 2-3pm, I would try to have a burger. Literally just a plain ass burger or 2 with ketchup. Alternate that with grilled chicken or a deli sandwich with some kind of red meat. Or even full fat greek yogurt is good.
-Dinner is…dinner. Eat whatever. Pasta. Pizza. Chicken. Steak. Burgers. Tacos. Hell pb n js will do. Go nuts
-IMPORTANT-
•Weight Training
I weight train. Almost every day. I can tell I am ruining some of your ‘ooo fat boy is out of shape. He probably can’t do a push up’ fantasies. Very sorry but I can. I can do a lot actually. I lift weights. I do lunges. I do squats. I have a fat fucking milkshake made up simply of ice cream and milk. Not even trying with the milk either, it’s low fat. Imagine if I did whole milk? In due time 😉 but this is important. I’m not saying ‘hit the gym blimpie!’. Get some dumbbells. Work your lower body. You need to do this anyways to carry your growing body. Plus you’ll feel A LOT better…and your ass and thighs look good, win win 😃
-Midnight snack/second dinner. My go to second dinner/before bed snack is a steak and cheese grinder. I don’t have it every night but probably 3-4 times a week. Again, it doesn’t have to be red meat but protein is key.
In conclusion
I started doing this for a few reason
My job causes me to move around a good bit and I lost weight because of it. I had no muscle. I was just pure fat. I wanted to change that and have
I figured it would help fill me out a bit more. Uhhhh mission accomplished 🥵
It’s healthy. Pretty simple
Final reason. I am always trying to find the most effective weight gain regimen. This is it. At least for me it is.
I’ve gained 23 pounds since June 25th. I have to make adjustments do to my upcoming work schedule but I plan on keeping this routine for the foreseeable future and even tweaking it a bit.
-I can add protein powder, whole milk and heavy cream to my milkshakes
-I can have 2 milkshakes a day (or 3 or 4 or just a constant stream 😅)
-I will go up in weight with my weight training. Increasing weight is key, don’t do a ton of reps because that is how you cut/tone. You want to build. Only way to build is to increase the weight you lift. Don’t hurt yourself. Start low, then grow
I’m not saying this is a guarantee plan for you. Everybody is different. But this worked for me. It DESTROYED a plateau I was hitting and then some.
Side note: this was influenced by a post that I have a screenshot of but I didn’t screenshot the name of the blog and I can’t find the post. When I see it resurface, will rb
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Note
Furina, Ei and few more characters of your choice with a S/o who is comically bad at cooking. As in they make a bowl or cereal and it catches on fire
(Genshin Impact/H:SR) Furina, Ei, Clorinde, Arlecchino, Chiori, Firefly, Stelle, March 7th, Himeko, Seele, and Natasha's S/O being terrible at cooking
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(Furina) "BLECH! This is repulsive, S/O! How on earth did you mess up a simple sandwich!?"
Furina thought it was fine to let S/O cook for the both of them, but clearly she was mistaken!
They couldn't even toast a grilled cheese without something going awry!
...Granted she didn't really know how to cook either, but that was beside the point!
(Furina) "Worry not, we have prepared for this contingency. Let us eat the macaroni we have in the fridge!"
In which she promptly burned them.
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(Ei) "Hm...I see you too cannot cook."
This was a problem, for both her and S/O.
This meant that S/O was unable to cook sweets.
...Oh well, that's what the help is for.
(Ei) "I will simply ask the servants to bring us dinner, it is of no concern to us."
Ei will unsubtly hint that S/O should get better at cooking and train, solely for the purpose of her not having to buy her dango.
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(Clorinde) "...I admit, this is my first time seeing a cereal bowl on fire."
Clorinde doesn't know, and quite frankly she doesn't want to know how this happened.
She knew S/O wasn't great at cooking, and just let them pour a bowl of milk.
Clearly, that was the heavens punishing her for such a thought.
(Clorinde) "I know some quiet restaurants we can have breakfast in, S/O."
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(Arlecchino) "I am impressed, S/O. I did not know it was physically possible to mess up this badly on scrambled eggs."
She knew one thing, and one thing clear.
For the love of the Archons, do not let S/O near the stove during the barbecues.
Arlecchino knew this was beyond help or training at this point.
(Arlecchino) "Make sure to clean the pan well. And do throw away the bag once the eggs are disposed of."
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(Chiori) "I think this steak is still mooing at me."
By the Shogun's left tit, the steak S/O """"cooked"""" was raw.
She knew she had to be blunt, lest someone get killed trying to be polite and eat S/O's impersonation of food.
(Chiori) sigh "Here, let me do it. If you need me to cook next time, just ask."
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(Firefly) ACK! "A-Ahem, sorry...I can order us something if you'd like, S/O!"
Firefly has a sympathetic look that she gives S/O.
Cooking was hard, and she could tell S/O tried their best to make something for her, and the thought at least counts!
However, she's pretty sure her systems would register whatever S/O tried to whip up as a life-threatening object.
(Firefly) "Here, let me know what you want and I'll go grab it! My thrusters will make grabbing the pizza no problem!"
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(Stelle) "...I think I'll pass on dinner."
It broke her heart to reject something S/O made with love.
But if she ate the fruits of S/O's love, she was pretty sure she'd jut die on the spot.
Yeah, no thanks, she prefers to LIVE.
(Stelle) ...At least it's not Himeko's coffee.
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(March 7th) "PUWAH! EYUCK!...U-Uh, I mean...-"
March struggles to find a way to describe S/O's cooking without resorting to spitting on the ground.
She has had some bad food throughout her travels, but holy cow did S/O's food take the cake, then throw it into a garbage disposal.
(March 7th) "...How about we try some local cuisine outside the Astral Express! Yeah, let's do that!"
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(Himeko) "Hm...I think you could have a bit more seasoning."
Honestly, it could have a lot more than that, but it wasn't the worst thing she's tasted.
With a little bit of help, Himeko would get S/O to cook like a pro in no time!
Besides, S/O enjoyed her coffee, so she should have the same courtesy, even if the rest of the Express crew wanted neither of their courtesy cooking.
(Himeko) "How about we do a few taste tests? I bet that can help!"
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(Seele) hurk! "Holy hell, what did you put in this?!"
Seele isn't exactly picky about her food, but this wasn't food.
This was poison, one that she almost ingested.
(Seele) "We gotta do something about that cooking of yours, S/O. We could use it as a lethal weapon the way it is..."
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(Natasha) "E-Er...I don't think this is my preferred palette, S/O. No offense, of course."
Natasha's usual food of choice was edible.
She had no idea where S/O learned to cook, but wherever it was, they clearly had never tasted anything remotely like actual food.
But, it also made sense, considering they were underground for a very long time.
(Natasha) "Would you like to join me the next time I cook something, S/O? It'd just be something more akin to my taste, is all." Like something a stomach can actually digest...
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