#at that exact moment i was like oh it's over. we're not recovering from this one

[fearandhatred]

anyway what was The moment in good omens that gagged you because the first time i heard aziraphale say "you go too fast for me" i was flabbergasted. gobsmacked even. never in my wildest dreams did i expect to hear this kind of line from anywhere other than fanfiction website ao3 dot org

[notgonnaedit]

Healer's Heart

War-Mantle

Summary: When Order 66 ushers in a new era, Althea and the Batch must find their place

Pairing: Bad Batch x Teen!OFC (clones being good brothers/dads)

Chapter summary: A mission from Rex goes awry

Warnings: Canon-typical violence, TK-Troopers, falling from tall heights, prisoners, injury, Althea worrying (If I miss a tag LMK)

Master list

Hunter sat in one of the console chairs, flipping his blade between his fingers. It took him years to get as good as he was now. He was almost envious when Althea learned the ways of a blade in a matter of months. She had shrugged it off, saying in was probably because she used her hands for drawing and other delicate procedures.

Omega sat in the floor, helping Gonky with a repair. Hunter watched her out of the corner of his eye, taking note of the way she tried to twist her tool in her fingers like he did with his knife. 

It was a different approach than Althea had taken. The ebony haired girl had point blank asked Hunter to teach her, not that he minded, instead of observing as the young clone in front of him did.

Speaking of Althea, her voice carried through the ship, calling them to the cockpit. "We're being hailed. It's....Rex." Her tone held surprise.

Hunter flipped his knife into it's sheath on his forearm before standing and heading into the cockpit, Omega by his side.

Everyone in the cockpit turned to the center where a hologram of the cloaked Captain. "Hello, boys. Sorry to cut right to it, but I could use your help."

"What do you need, Captain?" Hunter asked.

"I received a distress signal from a clone trooper, but I'm a bit tied up at the moment to retrieve him."

"You want us to recover a reg?" The Sergeant asked, his voice carrying light skepticism.

Rex nodded. "He's an old friend, and he's in trouble. I need you to get him out."

Hunter paused, considering Rex's request. There was one piece of information that he wanted. "Out of what exactly?"

A rapid beeping sounded on Rex's side of the transmission. He looked panicked. "Can't talk right now. Sending you his signal. I'll be in touch." He ended the transmission, leaving almost everyone on board a different shade of confused.

"What was that about?" asked Wrecker.

Tech spun in his chair, tapping at the controls of one of the screens. "The distress signal sent by CC-5576 is originating from Daro, a terrestrial planet in the Outer Rim with no known settlements or installations."

"What's he doing all the way out there?" Althea asked, an Outer Rim native who knew how remote it was.

"Well, does it matter?" Echo asked. 

"We've gone on missions before without much intel." said Hunter. "But this would be stretching it."

"Yeah, and from the sound of it, there's probably gonna be Imperials there." Althea pointed out.

Wrecker nodded. "Hmm. Thea's got a point."

"Rex wouldn't ask for help if it wasn't urgent." Echo countered.

"Echo's got a point." Wrecker agreed.

Tech adjusted his goggles. "May I remind you that we are in the middle of a job for Cid. If we deviate, we will not be compensated. No money means no food."

Wrecker nodding in realization. "Oh, yeah. Tech's got a point."

"But Rex's friend is in trouble." Omega said, her soft brown eyes shining with concern. "That's more important than getting paid."

"Well, the kid's got a point." The demo man said.

"Who's side are you even on?" Althea asked him, reading Hunter's exact thoughts. The Sergeant looked at Echo, who leaned forward, daring him to say "no".

"Fine." Hunter conceded, no longer able to bear Echo's determined gaze. "We'll check things out. But–" he let out a sigh. "–I don't like it."

                   •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"We are approaching Daro's atmosphere." Tech informed them as they dropped out of hyperspace. "I'll bring us in low to avoid any possible tracking scanners."

"We're banking a lot on a clone we don't even know." Hunter said softly.

Echo folded his arm and a half over his chest. "Rex trusts him. And I trust Rex."

Tech landed the ship in a clearing in the dense forest. It seemed to cover the entire surface of Daro, save for the pillar-like mountains that jutted up from the ground.

"The signal is coming from that direction." Tech said as they exited the Marauder. "The beacon should be right ahead."

Omega ran forward, a few steps ahead of him. She ran to a fallen tree, squatting down low. When she stood, she held a small beacon. "Found it." she said with a small smile.

There was a beacon, but no clone. Hunter took off his helmet to get a better understanding of their surroundings.

"So," started Wrecker. "where's this reg?"

Hunter walked a few steps before kneeling to examine a broken twig. He picked it up, bringing it to his nose. It smelled of hounds. The foilage ahead of him was matted down and had ruts of dirt throughout. "We're already too late." He said as he stood. "The clone was being hunted. He was dragged." He slipped his helmet back on and pointed in the direction of the ruts. "That way."

Following Hunter's lead, the squad made their way through the dense forest. They ran up a steep hill, stopping not too far from the base of a mountain. Hunter knelt down, his hand running over the rough earth.

"Hang on." He said. He felt vibrations. Faint, but there nonetheless. "There's something here, inside that mountain."

"I believe you are right." Tech said as his datapad made an error noise. "My scans are being jammed."

"You said there was nothing on this planet." Althea said.

"That data appears to be inaccurate."

Hunter looked up at the mountain. If they were to get close they would have to use stealth. He knew that Echo, Tech, and Althea would do fine with that. But Wrecker had never excelled in being quiet, and Hunter wasn't going to risk Omega being around Imperials.

The Sergeant stood and turned to his squad. "Wrecker, you and Omega wait on the ship."

Omega looked up at him. "Wait, why can't–"

"Coming here was up for debate. This isn't." Hunter replied sternly.

Begrudgingly, Omega went with Wrecker back to the Marauder as the rest of them made their way to the base of the mountain. 

As the got closer, Hunter halted, kneeling to the ground once more.

"What is it?" Althea asked.

Hunter let the dirt slide through his fingers. "A shuttle landed here."

Echo looked up. "What exactly is in that mountain?"

Hunter let out a sigh. "Only one way to find out."

The climb up the mountain was rough, but it could've been worse. Could've been completely vertical.

Once they reached the summit, they found themselves looking at a deep, circular pit with metallic walls. A singular entrance could be seen, a docking bay.

"This looks like some sort of military base." Althea noted.

"Not one that I've ever heard of." Tech remarked.

A shuttle flew overhead, causing the small team to duck down. They watched as it landed in the bay. 

"Come on." Hunter said. "Let's get a closer look."

They slid down the ridge a ways, stopping on the metallic surface of the ring.

Echo raised a pair of binocs to his visor. "I'm clocking a couple of commandos and squads of clone troopers." He said.

Hunter nodded. From where they were, the troopers looked like a white blob, but with his enhanced senses, Hunter could make out the faint shape of the commandos' armor.

"And they've updated their armor." The ARC added.

"Let me see." Hunter requested. Echo handed the binocs to him, giving him a ear view of the squads waiting and the ones that arrived in the shuttle.

"The mountain's natural composition makes this base well-fortified and nearly impenetrable." Tech said.

Hunter pulled the binocs away from his visor. There were too many Imperials. Too many for them to handle if they got caught. They were capable, but the Sergeant wouldn't risk Althea.

"This is no longer just a simple extraction." Hunter said. "Let's get back to the Marauder and leave word for Rex." 

He stood to leave, Althea and Tech right behind him.

"But, what about the mission?" Echo asked.

"We do not know for certain if CC-5576 is even in there." Tech told him.

"Or if he's even still alive." Althea added.

"We'd be going in blind without any reinforcements." Hunter told him.

Echo looked at them for a moment, his helmet blocking his expression. "You did that on Skako Minor when you rescued me. I'd still be trapped in that place if you hadn't. If there's a chance that trooper's being held against his will, we have to try and get him out."

Deep down, Hunter knew he was right. He remembered when Echo joined and the days before, when they spent what seemed like forever tracking him. But this was different. Back then, they were soldiers of the Republic, now they were wanted men. Going in would mean entering a hornet's nest. Silence would be the maximum sound they could make.

He pressed the side of his helmet to contact Wrecker and Omega. "Wrecker, do you copy?"

"Yeah, we hear ya." Came the demo man's voice. "Did ya find the reg?"

"Not yet. But we did find an Imperial base built inside this mountain. We're going in."

"Wait for us!" Omega said eagerly. "We'll help."

"Negative." Hunter told her. "Stay on the ship. You're our backup. Comms will be jammed once we're inside, so keep alert."

"I'll need to tap into the central database to pinpoint CC-5576's location." Tech said.

Althea looked down. "There are entry points we can access in the lift shaft. That's our way in." 

As she spoke, a lift came up to their level. They jumped on to the roof, staying quiet as the doors opened inside to allow passengers to scale the facility.

"Get ready to jump." Hunter said as they neared their destination. They lept on to the building, clinging to the wall as a commando and his squad passed by. 

Once they were gone, they climbed on to the walkway. They had breached the facility. They slunk through the dark halls until they found a terminal. Echo scomped in, Tech by his side waiting to help, and Hunter and Althea standing guard.

"Anything?" The Sergeant asked.

"This encryption's new." The ARC told him. "This might take awhile."

Althea stood by a door, peeking her head out to see if anyone was coming.

"This doesn't make any sense." Echo grumbled. "The muster report lists 50 clones commandos and 1,000 TK troopers."

"TK troopers?" Tech asked. "I'm not familiar with that designation."

"How much longer?" Hunter asked.

"Almost got it." The ARC spun his scomp. "Found him. Cellblock 25, four levels down."

With their info gathered, the team of four made their way to CC-5576.

                    •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

A clone commando sat in a cell, his pauldrons and helmet lost when he tried to escape. He lay down on the bed, a metal sheet rather, his arms behind his bed.

One of the new troopers passed by, causing the commando to sit up. "Hey, newbie," he called. "How about you be useful? Get me some food."

"Quiet, traitor!" The trooper snapped before walking away.

"That's Captain Traitor." The commando mocked. "Insubordinate plebe."

Sounds of a scuffle reached his ears. He looked up beyond the ray shield curiously just as a man in grey and red armor ran up, one of his arms replaced by a scomp.

"Are you CC-5576?" He asked.

The commando narrowed his eyes. "That depends. Who's asking?"

Three more troops appeared, one of them a teenaged girl. The one in white unlocked the door.

"Rex sent us." Said one with half a skull painted on his helmet.

The commando chuckled and ran a hand through his hair. "In that case, the name's Gregor." He stood. "Now let's move out."

Hunter took point as they sneaked through the halls, but the way they came was blocked by several commandos.

"They're gathered for inspection." Gregor explained. "There's no way past 'em."

"If we can't reach the lifts, we can't get out of here." Echo worried aloud.

"I can redirect them." Tech said, moving to the terminal. 

As he worked, Gregor observed them. "Armor like that, I take it you're CCs like me?" He asked. "Well, I know you're not." He said to Althea.

The medic rolled her eyes. "You're right. I'm not part of their little CT-99 family. I'm adopted."

"Defective clones?" The commando chuckled. "If you ask me, it's the ones who want to stay here who are really defective."

"What was your assignment?" Asked Echo.

"I was an instructor–"

Alarms blared, cutting Gregor off. "What's going on, Tech?" Hunter asked the pilot.

"I keyed a Code-16 to redirect their forces." He said, his tone holding an unusual panic. "I don't know what happened."

"Clone codes don't work here." Gregor said. "You just triggered a security alert."

"Intruders on level six!" A new voice shouted. A clone commando appeared with a squad of regs in new armor, firing at them. Hunter threw a smoke grenade and he and Gregor took out some with hand-to-hand while the others used stun.

"Is there another way off this base?" Althea asked after the troops were taken care of.

"Only one way out. Up." Gregor told her.

"Look at this." Tech said. He had taken off one of the regs helmets, revealing a man that wasn't a reg at all. "These are not clone troopers."

Gregor scoffed. "That's what I've been trying to tell you. These are our replacements. If you can believe that."

Hunter grabbed something from the unconscious commando before they took off running. They stunned troopers as they went, not wanting to waste blaster bolts.

"Are you sure you know where you're going?" Tech asked Gregor as he led them through the winding halls.

"Hey, I'm the one who escaped her before." The commando retorted.

"And you were captured."

"After I got out."

Hunter blasted a few more troops with ease. "I thought you said you trained these guys?"

"I didn't teach them everything." Gregor said. "That wouldn't be very smart, would it?"

They ran down another hall, finally reaching a lift. Tech tapped at the controls. "We need an authorization code."

"Got it." Hunter tossed him the card he grabbed from the commando he took out. Tech used it, taking the lift up and giving them a break.

"These new troopers," Echo started. "What do you mean they're our replacements?"

Gregor leaned against the wall. "Well, we clones are soldiers of a Republic that doesn't exist. These recruits come from all over the galaxy. They swear loyalty to the Empire. They're not as skilled, but there's an endless supply of them."

"Numbers aren't everything." said Hunter.

Just then, the doors opened, revealing several TK troopers and a commando with yellow and grey armor.

Althea reached out past Tech, pressing the button to close the doors and drop the lift. "You were saying?"

Gregor rubbed the back of his neck. "We'll, uh, take a detour."

                •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Omega paced around the cockpit, her bow on her back and Lula clutched tightly in her arms. "How can you be so relaxed?" She asked Wrecker, who sat reclined in a chair.

"Oh, I'm preparing." The demo man said. "I'm chargin' up before I charge in."

That didn't help the girl's anxiety. "We should've heard something by now. What if something went wrong?"

"I'm sure they got everything under control." Wrecker assured her.

                    •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

"How did this all go so wrong?!" Althea yelled as she blasted at the troops chasing them. The yellow and grey commando was hot on their heels.

"Hunter!" Tech tossed a smoke grenade to the Sergeant, who then threw it at their pursuers.

Althea didn't know how long they ran for, only that the commando kept up with them. There was a reason they were better than the average trooper. Gregor groaned and Althea realized he had been hit.

Shoulder wound, missed his heart but he would need bacta ASAP.

Hunter took care of the commando, finally stopping him with three stun blasts.

They made it to a control room, where Althea examined Gregor, despite his protests.

"How bad?" Hunter asked.

Gregor laughed. "Ha! Don't worry about me. This is nothing. I got blown up once and survived." He chuckled. "I can survive this."

Echo tapped at the console. "They have all access points to the central ring blocked off."

Tech looked at his datapad before pointing to a vent above them. "There. Those pipes are reactor conduits."

"And?" Althea implored him to continue.

"Well, they should lead to the main reactor's externl exhaust port. That is out path to the outside."

"The exhaust vent's halfway up the mountain." Gregor said. "We can't survive that jump."

"No, but we would be able to signal our ship." Without another word, Tech activated a detonator and tossed it up on to the grate, blasting it off in a small explosion.

Hunter jumped up there, with the help of Tech, and took point.

As the slunk through the vents, Gregor leaned on Echo, Althea nearby.

"How did you even end up in this place?" The ARC asked.

Gregor let out a sigh. "I was sent here with other commandos–" He coughed shakily. "–and quickly realized I wanted out." He chuckled breathily. "It turns out the Empire doesn't take to kindly to desertion."

"Yeah, no kidding." Althea murmured.

"Wrecker, Omega, come in." Hunter said into his comm. 

"We read you, Hunter." Came Omega's cheery voice.

"We have the target, but we can into some trouble. We need a pickup."

"On our way!"

                   •°•°•°•°•°•°•

They finally reached the exit. It was a steep drop all the way down the mountain with little room to move.

"Ohh," Gregor chuckled. "Glad we're not going that way."

"We are on approach!" Omega said.

In the distance, the Marauder flew to them.

"We see you." Tech told her. 

Fighter ships flew up from inside the cylinder, threatening to attack their ship.

Just then, more troopers and a commando appeared, blasting at them. They hid on the walls, stunning them when they could. Luckily, Wrecker came to their rescue, blasting at their attackers from the lowered ramp.

It seemed Omega was piloting the ship, or are least doing her best. Tech jumped on to the ship, followed by Gregor, quickly releiving Omega.

He had to fly away, with Wrecker on the tail gun.

Althea blasted at the troopers. "We're coming back around. Be ready!" Tech said over the comms.

The ship zoomed back over, Omega in the doorway. "Jump!" She cried.

Echo did as she said. Althea and Hunter blasted more troopers. "Thea, go!" The Sergeant ordered, him on her heels.

The medic made a mad dash for the ship, but something yanked her back. She let out a yelp as the commando gripped her back, just before he was shot by friendly fire.

Hunter was almost to the ramp when he hear her yell. He turned just as he was about to jump. He lost his footing and slipped down the mountain.

"Hunter!!" Omega screamed.

Hunter wasn't sure how he was alive. He remembered grabbing on to whatever he could, trees, rocks, maybe a bird?

He saw the Marauder in the distance, smoke coming from the thruster. Where was Thea? She was taken, he remembered. He stood and Tech's voice clicked through the comms.

"Multiple system failures! We cannot take many more hits!"

"Get the ship out of here." Hunter ordered. "I'll find Thea and we'll make it back."

"Negative. The odds of escape are not in your favor."

"Go, Tech! That's an order!"

In the background, Hunter could hear Omega demanding to go back. His heart broke at the sound of her desperation.

"No! Turn around! We have to go back for them! Hunter, tell them to come back! Order then to come back!"

A shuttle landed full of troops. Hunter took his knife, ready to fight. "Sorry, kid. I can't do that." He sheathed is blade, realizing he was outmanned.

                  •°•°•°•°•°•°•°•

Althea paced the floor of her cell. She was sure she would wear a hole in the floor, but she didn't care. Did the make it out okay? Was Hunter still ali–?

A trooper in walked past, Hunter at gunpoint. He shoved the Sergeant into the cell, tossing his helmet in with them.

"Hunter!" Althea said, her voice breaking with relief. She went to him, scanning over him. "I saw you fall. I-I wasn't sure if–"

"I'm okay, kiddo." Hunter said, offering her a soft smile.

Althea swallowed thickly, averting her gaze so he wouldn't see how watery her eyes were. "A-and the others?"

"They made it out. Althea," Hunter brought his hands to her face, gently bringing her gaze to his. "We'll get outta here."

"Yeah," the medics voice came out as a raspy whisper. "Yeah, I know."

                        •°•°•°•

Hunter sat on the bed, his helmet on his left. Althea sat next to him, leaning her back against his arm.

"Day 32 in the vault." The medic joked, having overcome her initial shock. "We haven't been given food for days, I fear we may have to–"

"Thea," Hunter sighed. "Stop reading those books on Tech's datapad."

"So you want me to stop my pursuit of knowledge and culture."

"Yes."

Footsteps sounding down the hall stopped Althea's snarky reply. A trooper in black armor and a green visor stood in from of their.

The medic and Sergeant sat up a little straighter at the sight of Crosshair, their guard up.

"I figured you'd show up." Hunter said.

Crosshair took off his helmet, revealing a large burn scar on the side of his head. Althea's eyes widened slightly, but she said nothing.

"I was hoping for the whole squad," the sniper said. "But you'll do."

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[kaydeefalls]

would love some director's commentary on basically any part of Carthaginians you'd like to talk about, but my favourite part was the second last chapter/the siege itself and I'd love to know how you worked out what trajectory to take the characters on through all the historical records. would also love to know more of your thoughts on Yusuf and Nico's backstory and families, if you have thoughts!

Thanks! <3 All right, Carthaginians, let's go.

The siege - or, more specifically, the final Fall of Carthage - was definitely what came first in terms of planning out this fic. When I first had the idea of writing Joe & Nicky's backstory further back in history, the Punic Wars were a logical setting to start with due to simple geography - Carthage being in modern day Tunisia, and Rome being, well, Rome.

So as with any vague idea, I started with a wikipedia deep dive, kind of assuming that I'd stick to the general canon template of them killing each other for the first time in battle and then becoming lovers afterward. But I immediately stumbled across the fact that Carthage's final stand, after the city had surrendered, consisted of about 900 Roman defectors in the Temple of Eshmoun setting the temple on fire around them rather than allowing Rome to execute them. Which. So that was obviously going to Nicky's arc. Which meant he would have to defect to Carthage much earlier on. Which meant I could give him and Joe a much richer relationship build over the course of the war itself. At that point, there was no question that their first deaths would be more of a suicide pact due to having no other options. I thought about having them, IDK, leap off the temple roof together or something, but nah, it felt much stronger to have them kill each other directly, as per canon, but with a complete subversion of what got them to that point.

I wrote chronologically and posted as I went, but it definitely helped going in to know exactly where they had to end up. For example, I deliberately seeded their exact dialogue together in the temple at the end of the siege as lines in their very first idle political debate in Rome in chapter one, so that Nicky could do a complete 180 on his initial stance in the debate by the end.

Embarrassingly, while that was all planned out from the beginning, I was WELL into the middle of the fic before realizing that, uh, Eshmoun is literally the god of healing. I mean, I knew that from the start, but I literally had my own personal OH DUH moment that they would be dying and resurrecting for the first time in the temple of the god of healing, and would OF COURSE think that Eshmoun himself had literally healed them due to their sacrifice on his own figurative altar. So that was an incredibly lucky piece of historical fact to tie into the immortality narrative.

In terms of their family backstories there - I think Yusuf's is about as fleshed out in the fic as it's going to be, it's all his POV and I included all the family info/dynamics I'd thought about. Nicky's didn't get as much detail in the fic, since we're never in his head and he didn't talk about it as much, but his family was the rough equivalent of landed gentry back in Genua - relatively high status for his own tribe, but doesn't mean much to the Roman Republic as a whole. They were granted Roman citizenship when the Genuates allied with Rome, and Nicky received a formal education, but their family wealth took a huge hit during the second Punic War (when Carthage sacked the city) and never really recovered, which is why Nicky left to join the Roman army and make his own fortune. I think he's not the oldest of his siblings - not the one expected to inherit and carry on the family legacy - but probably the second son, with several younger siblings in the mix as well. He has a strained relationship with his father and a better one with his mother, who I imagine died before he left home. He misses his younger sibs, who he helped raise, but never returns to Genua in their lifetimes.

So...yeah! I spent all year with the world of this fic in my head, it's been hard to let go of it. Thank you for asking!

[shiinavanhellsing]

Aight so boom, I'm doing a part two of the fan casting for the EBKs who are my OCS for Bleach TYBW from a fanfic called PSA. I already did the fan casting for the men and now onto the women!

First off we're gonna start with EBK Azure aka Little Miss “Oh that was your nigga in my DMS?! Lemme go hit him up real quick” aka Little Miss “Bad Bitch I Can Be Your Fantasy” aka Little Miss “Was that your nigga, oh he ate my ass what a bummer” herself aka Little Miss “she a baddie she know she a ten”:

For some reason I was torn between having Ashley Burgos and Kaylar Will as Azure's face claim but what made me choose Ashley was because of the fact that she fits the whole persona of I may look gorgeous but I'll still fuck you up.

Fun fact: Azure is part of the deities and is also a alchemist who's training amongst Uryu Ishida.

•She's reincarnated from the Egyptian air god Shu but yet despite him being a very peaceful deity, she's very well known for being a very violent air warrior.

•Literally had Shuhei feenin for her ass soon as he saw her dancing onstage from the nosebleeds.

•Azure is known for being the calm crazy out of the core four, she's the least temperamental of the EBKs but she's the exact definition of fuck around and find out.

Next up is EBK Nuria aka Little Miss “I shake a luh ass but I still get jiggy” aka Little Miss “I'm too sexy for your bro” aka Little Miss “all the boys want my honey from me” aka Little Miss “pussy put a spell on him he in a trance”:

I was scrolling on my Pinterest feed and I randomly saw Karin Jinsui with red hair that looked fiery and I thought “hmm, maybe she'll fit right in my vision”. Especially since Nuria is known for being girly but she still has that hardcore gritty attitude of hers that's not to be fucked with.

Fun facts: Nuria is literally a shinigami, espada and reincarnated deity

•She's reincarnated from the Japanese fire and volcanic goddess Fuji.

•Grimmjow was obsessed with her when he first saw her presence, he literally damn near killed Loly and Menloly over her.

• Aizen literally wanted her as her queen but she rejected him with the quickness.

•made Kensei weak in the knees as soon as he approached her

Next up is EBK Lotus aka Little Miss “If she keep on muggin imma steal her man” aka Little Miss “big boobs and the butt stay plump” aka Little Miss “that nigga a munch and he gon eat me like a mango” aka Little Miss “my pussy glitters it's gold.....LITERALLY” herself:

Obviously I knew that there was some way that I had to incorporate one of my faves into this story and honestly Jada Kingdom was perfect for this role. But the IG photo of her in the two piece fleece green top and skirt was what sealed the deal for casting her as Lotus.

Fun fact: Lotus is a part of the deities and is a reincarnation of the Vodoun goddess Erzulie aka the goddess of crystals, flowers, plants and sex.

•She has not one, not two but three captains on her rotation at the moment.

→literally turned Byakuya (yes y'all y'all heard me) into a munch and is the sole reason why he has no problems walking in public with his face all shimmery.

→ Kenpachi is obsessed with her so much that he immediately had her stay in his bedroom so that she could “train” and “control her powers” with him better.

→ Shunsui had her recovering in his house from the injuries she had and he folded as soon as he saw her with his kimono on dancing to the music on her phone.

The next one up is EBK Olori aka Little Miss “I'll hijack your nigga and send him home broke” aka Little Miss “dicks up when I step in the party” aka Little Miss “wonder what I do tomorrow that these hoes will get mad at” aka Little Miss “where the fuck is your waistline?” herself:

In all seriousness, I was debating between using Rubi Rose, India Love or Shenseea but then I narrowed it down to Rubi Rose because I saw her more as the kick ass, turn up bitch that barely takes shit seriously.

Fun fact: Olori is reincarnated from the Hawaiian water god deity Maui.

•She damn near got into a fight with Soi Fon when she arrived at the sereiti

•Hichigo aka Zangestu is insanely obsessed with her, likeeeeeee he deadass possessed Ichigo one time so that he could rump

•Immediately clicked with Rangiku as soon as they met each other

•Had a secret fling with Shinji one time and now he's overly obsessed with her well being

•Also got into it with Hyori because of her presence being a “distraction” to the vizords

Last but not least we have not one but two representatives for the youngest EBK members: Dotty and Riina aka Little Misses “we make it rain and we clear it out” aka Little Misses “we at the function let's get jiggy” aka Little Misses “feeling divine and will smack a bitch if she gets outta line” aka Little Misses “got a fetish for lettuce and a need to always get to the bread” themselves:

I'm gonna be real here, my first top choices was either Kenzo B and Shani Boni or Lola Brooke and Princess Sanyy.

But after seeing Girll Codee performing their freestyle on On The Radar, I just knew that they were definitely more fitting for the laid-back goofy, hype and energetic for Dotty (fc is Sha Bigga) and Riina ( fc is Hi Siddityy) who can still keep that big Brooklyn energy.

Fun facts:

Dotty is 15 minutes older than Riina

Both of them are the only fullbringers in EBK

Dotty has thunder powers and Riina has lightning powers

Riina's lightning bolt is very powerful and the only people who are able to use it to enhance their powers or weapons is Renji, Nuria and Ohagi

Dotty's thunder blade can be infused with other weaponry as a way to amplify attacks or to control reaitsu when using spiritual pressure on the offensive side.

Another reason why I chose Girll Codee as a fc for EBK Dotty and EBK Riina was because of the fact that Riina told Kenpachi at first glance to stop being siddity and just say hello to everybody as soon as they enter Paradise Island.

→And before you ask, Oetsu was the one who explained what she meant to everybody else in the soul society.

• they accidentally taught Ichigo, Renji and Shuhei how to get sturdy and Byakuya never let them hear the end of it every time they see him.

•“So, does this mean that Riina and I can't teach them how to lite feet or.....?”

They were paired up with Jushiro until his untimely death.

Both of them loved being around Yachiru and even took her out of Kenny's hands so that he can “train” with Lotus

Walking definition of instigators especially Riina...not to mention that they'll snitch on you if you end up doing some fuck shit you not even supposed to be doing.

So that's it for the people of the EBK members! Who is your favorite male member? Female member? I'm glad that I'm finally finished with this tho. Hopefully I gave y'all a great insight with all of the characters without spoiling too much 🫶🏽

[impyssadobsessions]

*AuthorNote: If you haven't plz read the changes made to the end of chapter 23.* Jason protectively wrapped his arms around the teen, as they were thrown through a couple floors, slamming their backs into a stack of empty cages. They both coughed out in pain, trying to get back up. “Insufferable brats!” A pink blast fired towards them, causing Danny and Jason to roll out the way. The leftover cages were flung around the room and melted with the impact. “Everything was going PERFECT!” Plasmius sent another blast, Danny and Jason barely on their feet before having to dive out the way again. Quickly they scrambled back up. Jason yanked Danny up with him by his shirt once he was up on his feet. He shoved Danny to run ahead of him as they moved to dodge a few more blasts. Hands over their heads as cages broke and flung around the room some more. They ran out the door, skidding into the hall while making a sharp turn to run down it. Plasmius hot on their heels, as burnt marks trailed their way.

“20 plus years! And I was FINALLY about to get my REVENGE!” Danny was thankful for how short he was in this exact moment, as he barely was able to duck in time as a blast flew overhead. He could feel the heat radiate as it flew past. “And if you weren't so stubborn I would have been able to kill them sooner!” Another blast barely missed Danny, passing by his side. “Hey, not my.. fault.. you can't.. take.. a.. hint-eep!” Danny huffed jumping out of the way of another blast. Target practice was so much fun when he wasn't the target. Jason took notice Plasmius was more focused on shooting Danny, allowing him time to whip out one of the blasters he had clipped on his belt. He didn't have time to aim, turning back to fire rapidly back at the older Halfa. Plasmius let out a howl after being hit and hung back to recover, hand over his face. Jason took hold of Danny and yanked him down a different hall, hoping to gain some time before Plasmius was on their tail again. ----uwu--- Dick and Cass didn't notice Jason and Danny were gone until the commotion played on their comms. Inwardly they cursed as they saw the hallway empty behind them. The real Plasmius was more than likely down there with Danny and Jason. But to locate them without any quick way of traveling through the floors would be near impossible. “Red Robin, Danny and Jason were snatched. How's your situation?” Dick asked as he tried to assess best course of action. “Uh.. Not good. We're not just fighting duplicates this time.” “The ghost animals?” “Uh.... I guess? They're.. more like silhouettes of the animals.” -->3<-- “Actually they're shades, though normally they're not this strong- oh thanks hun!” Maddie explained as Jack blasted at some of the ghosts before they could attack his wife. “I won't let any vile evil ghost scum get their icky hands on my wife! BONZAI!” He turned to fight some more. Tim had noted from his short experience with the Fenton couple, that was Mrs. Fenton was skilled at martial arts. She had dodged Plasmius's blasts with a series of back flips similar to what he had seen Cass and Dick do. Then blasted the duplicate with a wrist ray. That was when these shades filled the room, along with a few duplicates. Some faded before they could even hit them while others left a trail of goo. These must have been the rejects. Tim dodged a pounce from a misshapen cougar, shooting it from behind. It screamed then fizzled out, not leaving a trace. Then a green blast shot above Tim's head hitting the wall. Ah, right. The other thing he noticed. Mr. Fenton... had terrible aim at anything that wasn't point blank. Tim and Damian were starting to think he was more dangerous than the ghosts. “Dad! Keep to the right, we got the left!” Jazz huffed, the Fenton Peeler had formed a full body armor over Jazz, that resembled much like a mech suit. It was even equipped with a powerful laser that allowed her to vaporize the shades easily. “Sorry Jazzy pants, I see a ghost and I blast it! AH-HAH! Take that! Fake Wisconsin Ghost!” Jack was very enthusiastic about his.. profession. Danny really was in a predicament. If Damian hadn't decided before, he definitely had now. He hated Jack. Once or twice Damian almost was hit by Jack's blast, if it wasn't for his skillful maneuvering. Even worse was when the Fentons' would purposely blast at the ghosts that he was in mid swing of his sword to hit. Even Maddie would with a, “Be careful sweetie!” Smiling at him with a wave before fiercely going after another ghost. His eye twitched with irritation. If it wasn't for Jazz directing her parents to focus on one side of the room, he would be very tempted to fling his sword their way. At least Damian could still take out his frustrations on the duplicates. He barely swung at the animal shades, focusing on Plasmius duplicates. The animals suffered enough and weren't worth his time fighting, especially when Jazz could blast more than one at a time. Jazz on the other hand, felt like ripping her hair out. Her parents had gotten it into their heads that they needed

to protect all of them. Like, HELLO! She had been around ghost tech her whole life, well she just recently gained an interest in it, but still! They were just making it more difficult for her to hit her targets, as if she needed anything else to distract her aim. She failed two shots already. She was determined not to make anymore mistakes. She worked with Red Robin, corralling the shades and then she blasted them in one go. She couldn't get the ones that were airborne or risk hitting Robin, who was constantly leaping back into the air to strike down at Plasmius's duplicates. So she focused on those that stacked on ground level. Another blast barely missed her. “DAAAD!” “Sorry Princess!” Jazz groaned as she blasted at another silhouette of a deer-creature. ---ewe--- Danny and Jason found themselves in a dark room, the power having been cut from earlier, catching their breath for the moment. It seems they had lost Plasmius for the time being, though they weren't sure for how long. “Danny? How's your end?” Dick's voice distorted over the comm, making Danny flinch. “Well, we lost Plasmius for now. I think the comm got damaged though.” Danny taking it off to pull it away from his ear.

Jason walked over to take the comm from Danny, putting it back on. Though he rather Danny have it, it was better he took it than for Danny to keep it in his hand instead. “I think we're on floor five where Replacement ran into him. How's the ambush?” keeping voice low, as he kept his blaster in his hand. Danny rubbed his ear, glancing up at Jason as he talked. “Fine!-” Tim yelped. A loud voice in the background could be heard. “...Could be better.” “I don't think anyone could have worse aim than their father if they tried.” Damian huffed.

Danny chuckled silently as he glanced around the room. His eyes tinted green, to see if he could make out anything. Honestly, he was grateful that his Dad was terrible at shooting, it made his job easier.. some of the time. “Mrs. Fenton is more skilled in combat, but.. her aim can still stray at times.” There were some open crates, Danny could see. Carefully he walked towards them, curious to what they had. If he was lucky maybe a full or semi-full battery. Or a weapon... or the Plasmius Maximus 5.0 to hit Vlad with. He smirked just thinking of each of them getting a turn in kicking Vlad while he's down. “Besides that, I... just had a terrible thought.” Tim stated. “Terrible could mean a lot of things, Timbers.” Danny could vaguely make out strange shape of what filled the box. His vision was still weak from having almost become a dead slug. So he reached out to touch it instead. It was soft. Fur? It was cold, so it couldn't be alive. Pelts then? “No-terrible as in I think I know what Plasmius is planning... we need to find an exit soon or-” “Danny?” Jason called realizing the teen was no longer in arms reach. The teen jolted as if he was in trouble, spinning around quickly. Arms crossed behind his back. His dimly glowing eyes, made it easier to spot where the boy stood. Jason raised a brow under his mask, but moved so the teen was in arms reach again. If he had learned anything from this mission, was that Danny needed a toddler's leash... and that Plasmius liked pulling shit through the walls.. or the floors. Or the ceiling. Jason glanced up as he felt the static in the air again. A pink charge lit the room. Jason quickly caught sight of the pelts that Danny had been looking at. Reaching out to toss one up to block their view and to hopefully minimize the blast. Jason and Danny ducked to dodge, as the blast made contact with the pelt. The pelt burst into flames filling the room with smoke and fire. Danny and Jason skidded out into the hall, about to run again-when Danny face planted head first into a figure. Oh no... Danny stumbled back as duplicates surrounded them. Jason pulling Danny close to him as he held out his ecto-gun. “No where to run, little badger.” “Clipped left side. Hurry.” Danny fumbled a bit at Jason's order, but quickly reached for the other blaster Jason had on him. Plasmius sprung after Danny as soon as he turned, while his duplicates pounced on Jason. Jason fired at Plasmius, making him stutter in his attack, while using his arm to block the duplicates. Danny manage to grab the blaster, before Jason was roughly pulled away for a split moment. Leaving just enough gap for Plasmius to shove himself and Danny through the floor. “Danny! Dammit!” Jason kicked and yanked at the duplicates' grip. Focusing his weapon on them, eyes glowing with anger. He had to get these horror tropes off of him. Sneaky fucker was in for it. Jason felt an agonizing blast to his back, as it shocked through his system for a moment. -->O<-- “You might want to finish sharing to the class Tim!” Dick gritted his teeth. “Remember the attack Plasmius tried to do earlier? Danny didn't deny he could do it one more time..” “We got to-” “Actually I don't think that be a good idea, now that Hood and Danny went offline.” Tim noticed how there hadn't been anymore duplicates since. The last of the shades were fading fast. Cass had joined the fray, just moments ago. She barely had time to kill a few before most were gone. Now she was checking up on Damian and Jazz. Jazz had let the Fenton Peeler power down, removing her armor. Damian stood with his sword ready, for another ambush as the Fentons focused on the last few remaining shades. Damian keeping as far from them as possible. “If we go into the hall now.” “You be ambushed on both sides with zero chance to dodge.” Dick on the other hand had went back to find Jason and Danny. “Ghost shield?” Cass asked, though she was looking directly at Jazz. Jazz blinked, taking in only a split second to register. “Oh, I don't know. Let me ask.” Jazz ran towards her

parents, “Mom, Dad! Did you guys bring a ghost shield?” “We left it in the GAV, Jazzirincess!” Jack and Maddie blasted the last of the ghosts. He turned around, with a giant grin on his face. “Why? Can't exactly hurt ghosts with a shield. After all, all of them are gone thanks to the Fenton Might!” Jack flexing his arm, and wiggling his brows at Maddie. Maddie chuckled behind her hand, giving Jack a pat on the arm. Jazz frowned at her parents antics, then explained. “They think Plas- the Wisconsin Ghost, is planning a big attack.” Jazz glancing back at the others to make sure, she had inferred the information right. Red Robin and Orphan giving a nod back. “Hmm, suppose we might be able to make one in time. But it'll need a lot of energy to block an attack. We could lower the range to create a stronger force field.. maybe use some of the parts here. Reverse the.. Jack go get the-” “Already on it, Mads!” Jack running to retrieve whatever weapons were still left in the box they hadn't bothered picking back up. “And what if they don't?” Damian asked. “We'll still have a better chance. Orphan still has the bazooka, Jazz has the peeler, and their parents have wide range weapons of their own. Hopefully we can lure out the real Plasmius instead, since Jazz is still here. Even if not, we could blast a way towards the hall and escape.” Tim explained, as he was trying to think of different scenarios in his head. “...I feel like the chances of dying is higher with the inclusion of their father's aim. Especially if we need to rely on it.” “Their weapons won't kill a human. Still not a good idea to be blasted by them.” Jazz stated. “But I thought ectoplasm is harmful? That's what they're using.. isn't it?” “Uh.. kind of? You'll have to ask them how they did it, but basically they gave the role to pure ectoplasm to attack ectoplasm.” Jazz keeping her voice low so her parents don't hear. She did not need them to try to explain ectoplasm now. Tim just had a train of thought. Their parents couldn't have had an easy access to ectoplasm until after the portal.. so pure ectoplasm had be rare. Theoretically if they could change the role of impure ectoplasm instead as that might be more valuable then filtering it when limited ectoplasm is around.. then. The shades. Was he trying to alter the ghosts' role? Not the time. Definitely not the time. They needed to prepare of an all out attack- Jason and Dick were flung into the room, crashing straight into them. --owo-- Dick had made it to the stairway, letting his siblings handle planning for the fight situation. He leapt down the flight of stairs, kicking off the railings to control his momentum down. He flipped to land onto floor 5. If he could find Plasmius first, then maybe he could prevent the attack from happening. He hoped Jaybird and Danny was ok. Dick just opened the door to the floor, when a body flew out towards him. Jason?! Dick prepared for the impact, wrapping his arms around his brother once he was in range. The force threw both of them back, Dick hitting his back against the rails of stairs. Dick recoiled in pain as he protectively tightened his arms around his brother's body. Jason slowly coming back to, giving a puzzled look at Dick for a moment, then shot to sit back up, shoving Dick out the way. He immediately bent forward in pain again. “Ow. It hurts when you push me away, Jay.” Dick said dramatically, as he rubbed his shoulder. “Shut up, Dickie.” Jason growled, as he tried to get back up on his feet. He stumbled, leaning on the rail. Dick frowned seeing the damage to Jason's back. There was a large area that was burnt badly that it melted through the suit. Dick coughed and grunted as he hurried back on his feet. “Bastard trapped us. Fuck I'm an idiot.” Jason kicked the rail, only for the stairs to shake under them for a short moment. “We'll get Danny and end this. Don't worry-” Dick reached out once the stairs stabilized again. A pink blast shot between them. Dick reached for his escrima sticks, as Jason turned towards the threat with his fists

raised. “That's the second time you failed keeping track of Daniel? Isn't it?” Plasmius laughed. Jason lunged to punch the halfa only for him to be pulled by his ankle through the floor. Jason let his body fall forward, using his body's weight and momentum to take the duplicate by surprise. He flipped the duplicate to be under his foot. The duplicate let go of Jason just as it went through another floor, causing Jason's boot to smack hard onto the staircase. He knelt down in pain, but quickly stood back up as the metal stairway shook again. Dick swung his escrima sticks at Plasmius as Jason fell through the floor. Plasmius shielded the block, flinging Dick back. Dick used the momentum of the fling to backflip off the railing. To see if he can spot Jason. He could see the duplicate about to take a sneak shot at Jason. Dick used his grappling hook to swing down, only to be blasted out of the air by Plasmius. Dick flew back into the opposite wall letting out a yell of pain. Jason whipped his head back to see what had happened, and noticed the duplicate about to attack him. He jump rolled out the way, then launched himself off the staircase after dodging the blast. His boot landing on the duplicates face, then kicked off the face to reach the floor above him. Jason swung himself over the rail, glancing back up to locate where Dick was. He growled seeing Plasmius floating smugly over to where Dick landed. Jason leapt off the rail again, grabbing onto Plasmius's cape to yank him down below him. Jason's hand grabbed onto the ghost's neck, as he reeled back a fist. Green glowing through the white of the mask. He swung his fist at Plasmius barely making contact when he felt another blast as his back. Plasmius used the opportunity to fling Jason into the stairway making it bend and bow. The stairs collapsed and as the dust settled Plasmius held a limp Dick and Jason, each by the arm. He raised up Jason a bit, in debate. He couldn't tell what Jason was. Was he a halfa? Didn't matter now, as he was nothing but competition. If there was anything left, he'll have to make note to experiment. Plasmius flew through the building, flinging two unconscious heroes at the group of vigilantes. He didn't have time to ponder. He was going to get what he deserved! No matter the cost.

[cherry-bomb-ships]

1, 6, + 8 for 'all about your f/o' with jamie!!

[@red-velvet-ships]

Thank you for the ask!!

1 was already answered, sorry about that!

6. When was the exact moment you knew you were in love with them?

Ooooh so I'm gonna answer this in two parts; that being when I knew I loved him both irl and in my ship! So first of all, I knew he was something special to me when I got invested in Overwatch again in January 2019, and after a while I found myself rewatching the Junkertown short over, and over, and over again, and taking screenshots and looking at little details and just enjoying Junkrat's dialogue so SO much. That's when I knew he was really something special to me; I just couldn't take my eyes off of him.

As for when it happened in my self-ship, I have a fic about this in the works that'll probably never get posted pffff bUT, there was one day where Jamie showed up at my apartment, as he usually did, but this time he had a pretty serious injury. Luckily, I was able to patch him up so that he'd recover alright, but I found myself doting on him so much and just so scared that something could possibly happen to him... There really was no denying exactly why I felt so worried about him, and it all snowballed from there.

8. What were they like when you started seeing each-other?

Uh-oh, so erm warning for possesiveness I guess? But there were definitely some growing pains when me and Jamie first became a couple. He'd never been in a relationship, and of course growing up in the irradiated Outback meant that he didn't understand a lot about healthy interactions with other or anything like that, so at first he kind of saw me in the same way he would treat something he stole? Like, of course he respected me as my own person but he would also get very antsy if I had to leave my apartment and he couldn't come with, since he was worried about something happening to me while I was out there without him to protect me, so when I would finally come back, he would act like I was gone FOREVER and wouldn't want me to leave again. It seemed cute or sweet at first, but after a while it did start to be a bit too much, but hey! We're both adults, even if we can be immature at times, and we just had to have a few talks and he needed to learn that I'll be okay without him constantly at my side.

But HEY, let's put aside all this heavy stuff, because besides that junk, Jamie was the MOST affectionate, clingy, cuddly, emotional and loving bf when we first got together. He just constantly wanted to be with me and holding me and kissing me and talking to me about all his adventures to impress me, and just looking at me was enough to make him blush and laugh maniacally and flap his hands before TACKLING me and cuddling me super tight, because oh my gosh there's someone who actually loves him and wants him around to listen to all his ramblings and not call him annoying or stupid because I love him!!!! Yeah the early days were pretty emotional and sweet :3

💜 ask game here! 💜

[driversmutbucket]

I wanted to ask you if you plan to do a sequel on the fic where Phillip finds his childhood love? It’s one of my favorites. And if yes, it would be possible to include "There’s not enough makeup in the world to cover up this hickey, what did you do to me?" "Look at us, we're basically a couple already" please, but if it’s no, it’s ok.

Hey bb,

Sorry it took me literal weeks to get to this, Kitten has taken over my brain!

Glad you liked the Altman fic! I can totally do a sequel for those two horny humans ;)

Phillip Altman x Reader

Warning: NSFW, vague sub/dom, oral

You let out an exasperated groan as you examined the hickey on your neck in the bathroom mirror.

“Fuck sake Phillip.” You grumbled.

“What!?” He asked innocently from where he lay in the bathtub.

“There’s not enough makeup in the world to cover up this hickey! What the fuck did you do to me Altman?” You glared at him in the mirror.

“It’s just a little love bite Babe, don’t stress.”

“Little?!” You said in a high pitched voice. “Only teenagers walk around with hickeys all over them. Jesus, Im going to have to do some creative accessory placement.”

It had been two weeks since you had reconnected at the party, and ever since you were joined at the hip, or would pelvis be more accurate?

Phillips mom had found out about your - whatever this was, and had insisted your come over for Sunday lunch. Mrs Altman was so well put together, from what you couldn’t remember, you hardly wanted to be showing up with a gigantic hickey on full display.

“My mom won’t care.” He scoffed.

“Well I care, Phillip, you could walk in there looking like you rolled out of a dumpster and she would still think the sun shone out your ass.”

“True that.” He grinned.

You rolled your eyes, dabbing concealer on your neck aggressively.

“Look at us, we are basically a couple already, going to Sunday lunch at my moms and squabbling” Phillip mused with a lazy smile as he watched you.

You couldn’t help but mirror his smile, meeting his gaze in the mirror, he winked.

—

“Y/n has a giant hickey on her neck and she doesn’t want you to see it.” Phillip announced, near moments after you arrived at his mom’s house.

“Thanks for that.” You deadpanned, heat rising in your cheeks.

“Oh Phillip, leave the poor girl alone!” Mrs Altman swatted at him, before pulling you in for a tight hug.

“I’m so glad you kids have come together, It’s a wonder nothing happened when you were teenagers, gosh Phillip used to follow you around like a puppy, y/n.” She mused, smiling at the memory.

“Alright mom that’s enough.” He groaned steering his mother into the kitchen.

You smirked triumphantly.

—

After lunch Mrs Altman went to rest, having just got over a nasty bout of pneumonia she still needed regular naps. She apologized profusely but insisted you both stay for a while.

Phillip was eyeing you in a way you knew meant he was scheming as you dried the remaining dishes.

“My bed from when I was a teenager is upstairs.” He said casually.

“Is it just?” You said airily, drying a plate.

“Yeah, I always fantasized about fucking you on that bed.”

You knew the exact bed. You had sat or laid on it many times, years ago, hell- a decade ago?!

You used to love it because it smelled like him. You would try and memorize the scent.

“Hope you mom burned the bedding, the amount of cum stains there would have been on that....” you teased.

“Mostly from thinking about you in that tiny bikini you used to strut around in.” He murmured, coming up behind you and running his hands over your tummy.

“I did not strut!” You spluttered.

“I distinctly remember the way your ass jiggled in those tiny bottoms.”

“Pervert.”

“I used to imagine you would come upstairs dripping wet from the pool in that bikini. That you would bend over my bed, begging to be fucked. I would think about just pushing those little bottoms aside and sinking my cock into you while you moaned my name.” He murmured as his lips grazed the shell of your ear.

You breath hitched at his words, heat surging to your nether regions.

“I wish you would have.” You breathed, as his hand l crept under your tee.

“You gonna let me now?” He asked slyly fingertips toying with the waistband of your shorts.

“Your mom will hear.” You groaned.

“The old lady sleeps like a rock, trust me I’ve tested it many times.” He chuckled.

“Ok, but be quick about it, i will honestly not recover if your mom catches us.” you urged. 

You hardly finished your sentence and he was dragging you upstairs, pushing you in a guest room and shutting the door.  There is was, the bed. The pine frame and slightly dipped mattress that you had hung out on as teens. “This old things creaky as fuck.” he grinned, throwing himself on mattress, it groaned with his weight.  “No fucking way, Altman, nah uh, people will hear that down the street.”

“Babe, chill, bend over and hold the frame like a good girl would you?”

You shot him a dirty look, before bending down and planting your hands on the solid frame at the foot of the bed. “You’re sexy when you’re stroppy.” he smirked. 

You could only huff in response as he ran his hands up the back of your shorts and squeezed your butt cheeks. You wiggled impatiently, as he reached around and unbuttoned your shorts and pulled them down. Underneath you had a simple black thong, he grunted and spanked your ass, drawing a soft moan from your lips. 

“You’re keeping this on.” he murmured, pulling the fabric out from between your cheeks then letting it snap back.

He stroked your pussy through the fabric of your thong with one hand as he pushed down his own shorts with the other. 

You pushed your pulsing cunt against his hand with a whine, wanting more.

“Desperate are we?” he teased, eliciting a growl from you. 

He pulled aside the thong and teased your entrance with the head of his cock.

‘Phi-! Oh god!” He pushed in with a sharp thrust, knocking you forward so you had to truly brace yourself on the bed frame.

“Oh fuck yes!” He hissed, “you look so good bent over my bed babe.”

“Just missing the- mmmmph!...virginity and bikini.” You panted, trying to push back into his thrusts so the bed frame didn’t shake too much.

You reached back and rubbed your clit, gasping as you quickly began to cum, clenching his cock.

“Jesusshitfuck!” Phillip gasped.

“Stop!”

He froze mid thrust, “you ok?” Voice tinged with concern.

You pulled away and got down on your knees.

“Yeah, yeah, just want you to cum in my mouth.” You grinned up at him.

He bent down with a growl and grabbed your face, kissing you hungrily.

Some people didn’t like giving oral, but goddamn, you loved it. Having that much power over someone’s pleasure with your mouth was exhilarating.

He groaned as you took him in your mouth greedily, sucking and licking, spit dribbling down your chin.

“You’re a fucking dream.” He moaned, fucking your mouth gently.

You hummed, your vocalisation vibrating around his cock, he gripped a handful of your hair.

“Gonna cum.” He breathed a few seconds before shooting cum into the back of your throat.

You pulled off his cock with slow, sucking pop!

He collapsed onto the bed, laying on his stomach with a happy sigh.

You got up of the floor and smacked his bare ass, “don’t stay there too long, I doubt your mom wants to find her precious boy with his cock out.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time.” He mumbled into the pillow.

You laughed, as you headed out the door.

[aros001]

Going in blind: Watching season 1 for the first time. Random thoughts.

This show is kind of nice because I have no memories of the original She-Ra show, or even any of He-Man, honestly. I'm not sure if I ever watched the original, so I have no frame of reference for how the series is "supposed" to be. I can just take it and judge it as is.

Of the bat, all I know is that supposedly She-Ra and Catra get together as a romantic couple later, but I'm also a huge My Hero Academia fan and the fandom around me ships every character with every other character, so for all I know that might just be shipper wishful thinking I've been seeing and hearing. Given fandoms for Gravity Falls, Thor, and Supernatural ship even siblings together, I've learned not to trust anything except for what I see in the series for myself.

By the way, this isn't a review, just random thoughts and comments I'm having as I'm going through season 1 for the first time.

Episodes 1 and 2: Right off, I really like Catra's "No duh" response to Adora about the truth of the horde. She knows they've been lying to them and have been doing terrible things, she just doesn't care. If she and Adora play their cards right they could end up being the ones in charge and then they'd have all that power. Not necessarily to make things better but enough to where they could do whatever and live however they want. That's a good build for an antagonist. Not ignorant to the fact what they're doing is wrong, just simply so selfish that they don't care.

Episode 3: It really feels like there was no good reason why Glimmer didn't just outright introduce Adora to her mother and every reason she should have known it was a bad idea to try and hide her for a surprise. Being a former horde soldier she'd probably get treated with hostility if Glimmer brought her to the front gate but you'd almost guarantee Adora would get arrested or outright killed if she got caught while no one else knew she was there.

On the other side, we have Hordak being pretty intelligent in promoting Catra. He probably knows Shadow Weaver already doesn't like him, so it's not like he's losing anything making her upset with him, and it's clear she favors Adora way more than Catra, so that little bit of advancement towards Catra probably goes a long way in earning her loyalty to him and a person on the inside with Shadow Weaver.

Also, I'm not the only one who saw Madam Razz and immediately thought Adora had found her Yoda, right?

Episode 4: I don't know how it was in the original She-Ra and He-Man series but I kind of like She-Ra being this title from legend. Adora is not the first She-Ra, given what Razz was talking about with a Mara, so instead of being something new, impressing everyone with abilities they've never seen before, and creating the legend, Adora is placed in a position WAY over her head where she's having to live up to what came before her.

Episode 5: Calling it now, as long as her personality is genuine I think Scorpia is going to be one of my favorite characters in this show. She's...endearing, I think is the best word. She's like a mix of Kronk and a nicer Shego.

For a little bit I thought Mermista was voiced by the same actress who played Poison Ivy in the Harley Quinn animated series. She's not but they do have the same kind of Daria-ish inflections, thus by confusion. Given the prom episode, Sea Hawk feels kind of like her Kite Man.

Episode 6: Okay, now it's between Scorpia and Entrapta who are likely to be my favorites by the end of this. She's fun and quirky.

Episode 7: Quite the lore drop. Shadow Weaver was once a Mystacor sorceress known as Light Spinner. I like to imagine we'll get more on that later. Her haunting Adora reminded me of the Teen Titans' episode where Robin was similarly haunted by Slade. This didn't go as far as that but that's probably for the best, since TT had two and a half seasons to build that dynamic up with Robin and Slade while we're only now halfway through the first season.

Episode 8: Well dang. Again, I don't know for sure if Adora and Catra do end up together but boy do I buy why they're shipped together after that dance. Also, good on Bow for standing up for himself. It's clear that he'll always be Glimmer's friend and this won't change that but that doesn't mean he has to just accommodate her. I understand where her issues stem from but I am still glad he gave her a reality check. It helps him feel a little more like his own character.

Also, another nice little bit of lore and worldbuilding. Scorpia's a princess, the horde landed where her people lived, and they seemed to join them willingly.

Episode 9: Surprisingly don't have a lot to say about this other than I don't buy for a second that Entrapta is dead (EDIT: She's not). This was mostly action.

Episode 10: Not going to lie, this one kind of annoyed me a little, at least the first half. The conversation between Glimmer and her mother saved it a bit. It was a bit of a trifecta. You have the alliance breaking apart, saying that the loss of Entrapta only happened because they were all together...even though Entrapta only "died" because of her own machine obsession that caused her to deliberately walk back into the purging chamber. You have Entrapta who might be turning to the horde's side because she feels abandoned by the other princesses...even though they thought she was dead, and again it was her fault they got separated. And you have Glimmer refusing to tell her mother that Shadow Weaver's dark magic has caused her powers to go on the fritz and is causing her great pain. It just feels like none of this would be an issue if most of these people would stop being self-absorbed for three seconds and talk like any normal person would. It feels very CW drama, like something I'd see in a bad season of Arrow or The Flash. The only person whose issues I buy is Adora, who is basically a soldier who was never properly raised to deal with emotion or loss and is already struggling with the burden of being She-Ra, the legendary savior. I get why she's beating down on herself for not being able to do more even if nothing that happened was her fault.

Episode 11: JEEEEEEEEEZZZZ, that was such a good episode! Focused entirely on Adora and Catra and their past together. Like, just showing someone this episode alone could probably get them to want to watch the series. That was everything you needed to know about their dynamic and history together.

Also, that moment when Catra and her past self are looking at each other, while obviously Catra takes the opposite lesson, it reminded me of this fanart I'd once seen of Jason Todd, the Red Hood, looking at his past self as Robin. The past says to the future "You ruined everything". Catra could be happy but, ironically for someone who hates Shadow Weaver, she's probably going to be a lot like her, sacrificing everything for power and ambition.

Given the way she looked, I'm guessing Shadow Weaver is either addicted to the power of the Black Garnet or she suffered some kind of past injury and its power is the only thing keeping her going. Or both.

Episode 12: I'll be honest, Swiftwind being able to talk kind of gobsmacked and I needed a moment to recover. What a great voice they chose for that character.

So She-Ra is kind of like the legendary heroes from Rising of the Shield Hero, coming from a long line of people chosen to wield the sword. I tend to dislike chosen one types of stories because I think prophecy takes a lot of weight out of the character's actions, so this and Avatar are more what I like. The MC is special but not the only one who's ever been special and they can still easily fail. Their destiny was only to be able to use the weapon, not that they would succeed in any specific purpose.

And dang, Catra's turn against Shadow Weaver happened faster than I thought it would but I'm not complaining. That great "This is what you've really been preparing me for" speech and Hordak, again, being an intelligent villain. "Oh, this experiment could net me a MASSIVE gain and all it could potentially cost me is this rock I already gave away to someone who lately hasn't been producing any results and has been consistently disobeying me. Yeah, I'm going to let this play out."

Episode 13: That was kind of a brutal fight between Adora and Catra. Not the worst I've ever seen even in other shows for this age range (Samurai Jack, for example) but those punches are connecting and those claws are leaving marks.

Also, maybe I'm just misunderstanding the exact situation but shouldn't the good guys' side be called the Resistance instead of the Rebellion? Being a rebellion would imply they are rebelling against an established power or rule over them, but the actual conflict we are shown is the established power and rule that is the kingdoms of Eternia resisting an outside force that wishes to establish a new order over them.

Season 1 verdict: I'm into it. I'm definitely more invested in the villains' side of things but that's not a fault of the series, that stuff is just way more geared towards me than the current princess stuff. I actively am at attention whenever the horde main characters are on screen. For the good guys it's mostly Adora and the She-Ra stuff I'm invested it. That isn't to say I have any real dislikes for that side. Bow especially I'm liking much more than I thought I might. He has kind of this gravitational pull around him. You will be his friend regardless of how much you might want to resist. He's definitely the rock for everyone else to hold onto.

Minor side note, kind of like Korra in Legend of Korra, I love how even when her powers aren't active Adora is shown to still be pretty strong physically with how easily she was lifting people up at the prom.

And I was right, Scorpia is my favorite side character.

On to season 2!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/PrincessesOfPower/comments/nyll2e/going_in_blind_watching_season_1_for_the_first/

[ma-gic-gay]

This is bad.

Boss and second best friend is presumed dead and I just had sex with his wife who happens to be my best friend bad. In his bed. In his house. Pretty sure I need to go and repent at a church when I'm not even religious bad.

Oh right, that's what happened. Minus the going to a church and confessing his sins to a priest part. That's probably what he should do, but he doubts he'll actually go through with that. A priest would probably somehow get to Sam or worse, end up knowing where Sonny is and been harboring him all this time. As far as he knows, you can't really have a priest not tell your secrets.

He's fucked. Scratch that, they're fucked.

Wrong choice of expression there. Very wrong. Ironic, but severely wrong expression.

What the hell is he supposed to do from here? What are they supposed to do from here? Go and confess their sins to a pastor? Too long and they'd probably end up in jail if that happened. Pretend it never happened? He knows that's not going to happen. There's going to be a long, drawn out conversation about it. Move to different continents and never speak to each other again? Too extreme, not to mention unlikely. Something would happen and they'd both be pulled back to town or to whatever continent they were on to post bail or something. Besides, they'd been friends forever. They could never not be in each other's lives. It was impossible.

Oh god. They're friends. No benefits. The last time there had been benefits attached, they had hated each other. Not in a typical "I hate you bitch" way, but in a "it doesn't matter if I never see you again. In fact, my life would be better if I didn't" way.

Needless to say they were not going back to those days. It would be impossible now; both had intertwined lives. Their kids were close and both were close to each other's kids. Extra parents, if you will. Not to mention, they both knew way too much about each other.

Irony is a cruel mistress, he thinks, thinking back to when they didn't even know each other's names. Those were the days of Robin and picking up random girls in bars before he learned his lesson about the girls he picked for his hookups carefully because if he didn't, there was a chance he'd end up with his entire life turned into a tornado of blonde hair and getting her out of trouble.

The quiet snoring at his side suddenly came to a stop, a telltale sign she's woken up or close to it.

Suddenly, he's all too aware of what happened last night between the two and what's going on now. They'd had sex (protected, at least they were stable enough to remember that) in the house Sonny bought, in his bed. The kids were at their friends houses, or in the case of Avery at her mother's. So at least the kids hadn't heard them.

Flashforward what he imagines can't be more than twelve hours and now they're in Sonny's bed, naked and both awake or waking up. The kids wouldn't suspect anything, provided none of his clothes besides his jacket were downstairs. He'd spent the night in general plenty of times and that had increased in this year.

Granted, their impulse control last night was to be questioned given that this had happened.

"Jason? What are you doing here?" Carly asks tiredly, still wiping the sleep out of her eyes. "And where the hell is your shirt? Or mine, for that matter- oh god."

She remembers. Dammit. This is both a good and a bad thing.

Good in the thing that he's now confirmed that they were sober, bad that now they've got decisions to make and neither of them make the best decisions when it's early in the morning and they're uncaffeinated.

"We need to talk about this, but first, coffee. Where the hell are our clothes? Please tell me we didn't leave them downstairs," she groans.

They find their clothes quickly enough and get dressed slightly awkwardly before heading downstairs to brew coffee.

The moss bowl that seems to continually grow, to the point that Jason was gifted some moss to go in his apartment as a housewarming gift from Carly, seems extra interesting this morning as he studies it intensely. That is one big moss plant. Over the course of a year, it got much larger than expected.

"Alright, we are not going to stand here in this awkward silence. We are going to discuss what happened last night and then figure out what the hell is means," she decides, handing him a mug of coffee.

"What is there to discuss? We had sex," he answers her simply after taking a sip of coffee.

"That's the exact thing we have to discuss."

"We're both very aware of how that works, Carly. Would you like me to pull up a diagram online and explain it?" Jason teases her.

"No smartass, I want to discuss the sex."

"Oh god," he groans into his coffee. "It's not even ten am and you've already decided that this is the big fight of the day for you. Couldn't this wait until, I don't know, Scout graduates college?"

"Jason," she warns, "humor me and discuss last night. I promise that this conversation will end sooner if you just agree to actually have it sooner."

"It'll end ten minutes before my funeral as opposed to at my funeral, then," he jokes.

"Do you want me to think about your death?"

"Alright fine I give in, we'll talk about it."

"See? That wasn't so hard, was it?" She asks triumphantly.

"You are lucky I don't have anything else to do today besides paperwork I can have someone else do," he answers.

There's not enough coffee in the world to stop the headache he can feel she's going to bring to him today. It's a sixth sense by now, that she'll be giving him a headache that won't be fixed until the problem is solved.

In a weird way, it's a relief know that she does that. It's comforting in the strangest way.

Neither of them claimed to ever understand why it's calming.

"I know," she says, a smirk on her face. "Now, to the discussion about last night. We did it."

"We have already confirmed that information, yes," he agrees.

"It was good."

"Yeah."

"We're friends."

"Correct."

"I need more than one word answers!"

"We're reviewing information we both already agreed on and these aren't questions."

Sighing, Carly dramatically sips her coffee, getting a quiet chuckle out of her friend. "I still would appreciate an answer that wasn't a synonym of yes. Maybe one that's, I don't know, five or more words."

"Then ask me a question."

"Fine. Where do you want to go from here? Do we stay friends or be more or be friends with benefits or something else I haven't thought of yet?" The blonde rambles, caffeine kicking in.

"You're rambling."

"I'm aware."

"Just checking."

"Answer the question!"

"Calm down," he urges. "I don't know where to go from here."

"You're always the one who knows what to do in situations like these, not me!"

"Yes, I always come up with a plan of what to do when you and I hook up a day after Christmas. Because we've been in this situation loads of times before," he chuckle sarcastically.

"I meant when I do something impulsive, or you do something impulsive smartass," Carly glares at him playfully.

"Ah yes, my life's sole purpose: Stopping you from doing stupid things. And when that fails, getting you out of trouble," he jokes again. "I don't know what to do, for once. We may have a major problem on our hands."

"May have? Jason, if you can't figure out what to do from here, I think we're in major trouble! I haven't made a major life decision without a severe amount of your input in a very long time," the blonde exclaims, downing the last of her coffee like it'll help her make a decision of what to do here.

"That probably says something about you being codependent on me."

"You love me running into your apartment with your problems."

"Sometimes. Other times, your problems and plans are so stupid I don't understand them but somehow they hinge on me going along with them."

"Well of course they hinge on you going along with them? You're my best friend, if they didn't I'm convinced that our friendship would simply never recover from it. We'd live our lives without a single hope of ever getting back to this because you didn't go along with my plan," she says dramatically, smiling. "And that would be the worst thing to ever happen to either of us."

"Mhm," he says, rolling his eyes but a small smile pulls at his lips. "I believe you decided that we needed to figure this out."

"Well we do!"

"So far you've only stated the facts of what happened and some of the options of what to do. You're the one who decided we have to figure out exactly what this means before I'm even fully coherent."

"Drink your coffee faster."

"Solid advice coming from a woman who's already formed three plans before her first cup of coffee."

"You're right, there are about seventeen different possibilities in my mind at the moment based off of what decision we come to," she smiles at him. "Would you like to hear them?"

"Do I have a choice?"

"No."

"Then let's get it over with," he sighs, sipping his coffee in an attempt to not deal with a massive headache.

"First scenario is that we pretend this never happened and stay exactly the same. No awkwardness, last night is essentially wiped from our memories. Solid option, but it's impossible. Second is friends with benefits but we don't catch feelings. Again, solid option with no to minimal awkwardness, but I have a feeling we both know it won't end up happening, especially with me. Third is friends with benefits but we do catch feelings. Could end in repressing feelings or could end with us dating. Either way, ends up being fairly complicated. Fourth is that we begin dating. This one has equal pros and cons, primarily that if that ends up going south we won't have our friendship being the same and that would be the worst but that if it goes well, marriage. No more kids though, I think we've got enough of those.

"Fifth is we both move away and never see each other again. Not happening. We both would end up arrested. Or killed," Carly shudders at the thought, "Sixth option is that you go back to Sam and I begin the rather depressing at this age journey of dating. Seventh is that we acknowledge last night but continue as friends. Can't decide the pros and cons of that one."

"I haven't even finished my coffee yet and you're already planning seven different ideas for your future?" Jason asks, impressed and terrified at the same time. "Good god."

"Well now you have seven options to choose from. No pressure but if you choose five, I will never forgive you."

"Five is automatically out of the story, don't worry about that."

"In that case, you have six options to choose from."

"Why can't you choose?"

"Because I'm incapable of making a decision of this caliber on my own."

"But I'm not?"

"Fine, we'll make this decision together. After all, it affects us both." Carly agrees against her better judgement. "We should make a list."

"A list?" He groans. "This sounds dangerously close to a plan."

"It's not a plan, though. That's the beauty of it, we make a pros and cons list. From there, we make our decision."

"Most people would flip a coin."

"That's a terrible way to make a decision."

"Not really but fine, we'll make a list."

"I knew you'd give in."

To be continued when I'm not half asleep

oh dear-

[r3b3lgrrrrrrrl]

A LunaTic and her Gunn (Part 89Xs1) "Dangerous But Sweet"

@lovemythsworld

@creatureofthen1ght-v3

@crystalbaby12

Don can't find any of them anywhere for Check Out. No one is answering their doors or phones. Not even the responsible ones, like Ashleigh, Bullet or Benny.

Annoyed, he heads to Colson and Luna's suite. He HATES dealing with them, ever since they first met. Especially her.

The door is slightly ajar, concerning Don for a moment. Entering the room cautiously, he finds The Ten of Them sleeping on the floor. Curled up and splayed all over each other like little kids on the mattresses.

Rolling his eyes, he mutters "Fucking idiots." Before speaking loudly. "What the HELL is this shit? You better put these fucking beds back. I'm not explaining your fucking slumber party when the hotel charges the lable for damages."

The rude tone and words coming out of his mouth stirs them. Groggy, with monkeys beating drums inside their heads, they all wish he would just GOOO AWAAY.

Luna opens her eyes. Giving him a death stare.

"Will you EVER be cool, Don?" She asks him with a sigh.

"Will you ever NOT be a fucking bitch?" He fires back at her.

"YEOO." The bass in Colson's voice vibrates Luna's body as his head flies up from behind her. "Watch your FUCKING mouth, Motherfucker when talking to my girl." His tone is fierce in defense of Luna. "Matter of fact, get the FUCK out before you make me get the FUCK up." He warns before laying back into their warmth.

"Bye, Don." Luna states in a monotone voice.

"I don't know how either of you have a fucking career." He spits out.

The Ten of Them are irritable from their Trip last night. With NONE of them liking this DickHead at the moment. Brains still linked, his comment hits them all.

"BYE DON!!" The Ten shout in unison, none moving.

"Indigent Fucks." Is thrown over his shoulder as he storms out, slamming the door behind him.

Getting comfortable again, those that awoke go back to sleep. Fuck Don.

--------------------------------------------------

Colson is performing tonight at MidLand. Finally up and dressed, they're all there. Moving slowly, but they're there. Even before 2P at that. Hanging out back. Burning as they recount the night before. No one skates. They sit, stand or lean. The struggle is REAL.

Luna's starving. She needs cheeseburgers, pineapples and coffee in her life.

"Hook it up?" She asks The Boys.

Offering to Take Care of Them All to their Oh My God, Yes Please's.

Dressed simply in dark shades, her Yankees hat, ripped jeans and a black crop top, Luna pulls off Colson's jean jacket. She was cold earlier but is starting to warm up in the sun.

Slipping in between Colson's legs, she wraps her arms around his shoulders. They lean cheek to cheek for a minute. Breathing each other in. Last night being so intense, they can still feel the raw emotions.

"I'll be back. Text me what you guys want from McDonald's. Love you." She kisses his cheek lightly.

"Love you.... Don't forget we gotta pick Emma and Case up at 430P..." He reminds her to her nod of agreement.

Grabbing Sam and Ashleigh, they take a walk. Burning and sipping on water along the way.

-------------------------------------------------

The Boys take The Girls being gone as an opportunity to run a light rehearsal. Focusing on practicing the Sublime song Colson wants to cover tonight.

-------------------------------------------------

Luna's a bitch. Luna's a bitch who doesn't like to be ogled. Luna is a bitch who can't STAND creeps. Luna's an even BIGGER bitch when she's recovering from a drug binge and CATCHES someone acting creepy.

And thaaats's exactly what leads to what happens in the grocery store.

In the produce section, Luna's wandering around with Ashleigh looking for fresh cut pineapples. Sam's towards her left, in a cross aisle on her phone facing the wall.

Rounding the corner into another aisle, Sam now comes directly into Luna's eyesight. So is a man moving around weirdly in the same aisle as Luna and Ashleigh. He's facing towards Sam. Watching him as her and Ashleigh begin to walk passed, something makes Luna look down.

This pig, is standing in the aisle, behind his cart. He has his hand down his pants and is jerking off to an unknowing Sam.

It feels like slow motion as Luna sees what he's doing, life hitting fast forward once she fully realizes it.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!" Luna screams.

Grabbing the back of the cart and shoving it into the man with all her might. Knocking him down backwards on to the ground, she then moves the cart. Stomping his hand in place on his dick with her right foot.

"What the fuck, Loons!?!" Sam comes rushing over.

"Bro. You see this shit." Luna points to his hand trapped in his pants. "He was fucking jerking off to YOU. RIGHT FUCKING HERE."

Sam's reaction is the EXACT same as Luna's. Word. For. Word.

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!!"

She screams also. Bringing her knee up high, Sam starts to stomp down on the dude.

"You like jerking off to girls who don't know it? You fucking freak!" She continues to shout.

Luna joins in. Ashleigh standing back like the night in Chicago. Watching Sam and Luna stomp and kick the fuck out of A Jack Off Johnny of Kansas City.

"Let's see how much you like yanking it in the grocery store after that, Motherfucker." Sam spits on him before they leave him bloody and whimpering on the ground.

The two employees watching don't bother to aid the man or stop The Girls. His actions being unacceptable, they decide to leave him there.

Walking towards the door, Luna spies the fresh fruit she wants. Making their purchase, they leave the grocery store and head to McDonald's.

"Was he really whacken' off to her?" Ashleigh asks in uncomfortable disbelief.

"Yeah, dude." Luna says, disgusted.

She hates the world on a regular day. Today it's extra.

"I seen his fucking hand stuck down his pants, Ash." Sam says with a shudder.

"Why are men so gross..." Ashleigh complains.

Her low serotonin makes her sensitive to sadness. While Luna and Sam are both prone to anger and violence.

"Because there ain't enough women who ain't afraid to beat the fuck out of them when they act gross." Sam states angrily.

She's not wrong. 

"How do you guys know how to do that?" Ashleigh asks quietly.

"What?" Luna cocks her head towards her.

"Not be afraid of men and beat them up the way you do? I would never know how to do that." She says honestly.

"It's a NY thing." Luna blows her off.

Looking at Sam. Some words shouldn't be said. Just as some reasons never need to be relived.

------------------------------------------------- 

Sitting on the back loading dock of the venue, The Ten of Them are reunited eating their fast food and fresh fruit. Having so many bags of burgers, fries, nuggets and pineapples. Ten different sodas and iced coffees, The Girls had to snag a shopping cart to get it all back in one piece.

The Ten of Them are all still pretty miserable. Luna offering up a Xanax to whomever needs. That would be 8 out of 10.

Sitting next to Colson as she munches on a double cheeseburger, Luna's legs are swinging wildly. She loves beef and cheese. Almost as much as she loves Colson.

"Is that blood on your shoe?" Colson asks her, confused and slightly concerned.

"Damn it. That Motherfucker." Luna growls as she lifts her leg to see the tiny splatters.

"WHAT Motherfucker?" Colson now demands.

His possessiveness amuses to Luna. Sucking her teeth and preparing for his reaction, Luna tells the Tale of A Jack Off Johnny of Kansas City.

"Why the fuck didn't you call me?" He insists once she's finished.

"Imagine that...." She says dryly.

Putting her pinky and thumb to her ear, like a phone. She bobbles her head and wiggles her straightened shoulders. Voice and body mimicking a 1950s housewife.

"Hiii Honey, would you mind coming down to the local grocer. I've got a sexual predator trapped here under my foot but still need you to come defend my honor for me. Please?"

She changes her tone as she shoots him a Look with a "Yeah. No."

"I fucking hate when she acts like this... Like she's fucking invincible... She better never...." He doesn't even want to finish the thought. Knowing that his brain is mush and his girlfriend is a psychotic bitch with no fear.

"You're fucking insane." Is all he says, shaking his head as he bites into his burger.

"And you're beautiful and I love you." Luna tells him, nipping any argument in the bud.

Once they've finished eating, Luna and Sam borrow Baze, their instruments and stage to rehearse. Luna doesn't have a name for the Ellen song, she just keeps calling it, IT.

--------------------------------------------------

Watching Luna from SideStage, Colson's phone rings. It's a number he doesn't know.

"Hello?" He answers.

"Hi. Colson? It's Francis, Luna's friend. We met at your house in LA for her Tea Party..." Frannie introduces herself.

"Oh! Hey! Yeah, what's up?" He asks, moving away from the stage.

"I hope you don't mind but I got your number off Sam to that maybe we could touch base about Luna's birthday?" Frannie asks, striking fear into Colson's heart.

"Oh FUCK... I forgot her birthdays coming up." He knows her birthday, he just sometimes doesn't know the actual date of the day he's living in. Many occasions sneak up on him. Ashleigh usually catching them first. Plus, his brain is more wonked out than usual.

"Uhhh... Yeah... What were you thinking?" He opens his apps to check the day of the week it falls on.

"Well, Paris and I always throw her a party out here... Or we used too. We didn't the last two years... So we wanna do that.... Is there a date? Because we were thinking the 19th, not knowing what you guys have planned with this and the wedding and all...." Frannie trails off.

"Fuuuuckkk... The wedding. We don't even know when we're doing that...." Frannie hitting Colson with layers of reality he can't deal with.

"Uhmmm... Shit man. We're on tour right now and haven't really talked about any dates or even her birthday. Fuck, I feel like an Asshole." Colson winces when he instinctively rubs the back of his head, forgetting his new ink.

"Okayyyy... How about we throw her the party on the 19th. You have my number now... If you think of anything just hit me up. Sound good?" She asks.

"Yeah. Thank you. I'm sorry I'm such an Asshole with all of this.... I've never had a serious girlfriend like this before...." He says sheepishly.

"Soooo... You think you should just jump right to wife in three months?" Frannie's trying not to sound sarcastic but she can't help it.

"YEAH. I do. And so does Luna, since she did say Yes." Colson begins to feel slightly defensive.

"I'm sorry." Frannie backs down. "Luna and I are really old friends and I just think it's quick. When do you guys get back to LA? We'll hang out. Before the party." She suggests an olive branch.

"Yeah, deff. And me too. We're done at the end up this month. Call Luna and set something up and I'll keep us and whoever free on the 19th." Colson agrees with an irritated sigh.

"You have people?" She asks.

"Yeah, is that a problem." He doesn't like having to deal with Luna's friend right now.

"No... Not at all. I just need a head count for the space size." She replies to his Oh.

Asking him to text her a list, he agrees. Apologizing again for being rude before they get off the phone. It's false. Not caring who's daughter she is, Colson decides he doesn't like Frances.

---------------------------------------------------

"If they don't have a date... Maybe it just won't happen." Frannie thinks after she hangs up. It's not that she doesn't like Colson, she doesn't know him. Just like she didn't know the guy she married six months after meeting him. Now she can't get her dad's guitar back or rid of him.

-------------------------------------------------

Once off the phone Colson immediately calls Ashley.

"Yellow!!!" She answers, cheerfully like her words.

"Hey Ash..." Colson sighs, relieved to hear a friendly voice.

"Sup Kells?" She asks, concerned.

"Francis just called me about Luna's birthday party?" He tells her in a confused tone.

"Her and P are doing that this year? Oooh!! That's gonna be so fun!! We haven't done it for the last couple... I wonder why she hasn't called me yet..." Ashley babbles as Colson listens emotionlessly. "What day is it? Kells! What day is it on?" Ashley snaps him back.

"Uhh... Friday the 19th....?" He answers, still lost in his conversation with Francis

"Ewww... I'm pretty sure I'm already.."

"ASH!" Colson cuts her off. "I'm freakin' out Dawg. I don't think Francis likes me. I know I don't like her. Luna's birthday is in less then a month. I have nothing planned. We're supposed to get married next month and we don't even have a date. FUCK, I don't even think Luna has one dress, let alone two!!" He spouts off.

"Whoa man, chillax.... It's gonna be alright." Ashley laughs at him. "First. Fran'll be fine, she's projecting her own shit right now. Second. Have you talked to Loons about any of this or are you just freaking out because of Frannie?" Ashley digs for the root.

"I'm just kinda freakin' out." He admits.

"Talk to Loons, Kells. She may already have something in mind. You don't know. Just make sure you keep the 19th open if you really don't wanna get on Frannie's bad side." Ashley teases him.

Colson sighs and thanks her. Really glad to have her as a friend.

--------------------------------------------------

"DAADDDYYY!!!!" Casie comes running up to Colson.

Emma trailing behind her, the two women greet each other warmly. Hugs and How Are Yous before Casie squeezes Luna's guts out.

"I can't breath, Dilla!!" Luna pretends like she's choking to Casie's laughter.

Colson giving her a piggyback ride out of the airport. Luna helping Emma with Casie's luggage as they chat with each other.

--------------------------------------------------

Sat together for a late lunch at Border's Cafe, Casie colors as the adults order food and drinks.

"How's the wedding planning going?" Is the first thing Emma asks Luna and Colson.

"What the fuuuuuuckkkk...." His brain groans.

"Ahhh... You might be able to help if you wouldn't mind. I need a planner for Cleveland. Nothing big. Just a little get together at the house after." Luna says to Emma.

"Yeah, I have a friend who owns a catering business." She suggests.

"That'd be perfect." Luna says graciously.

"When are you guys gonna do it?" Is the dreaded question.

"Monday, the 29th." Luna says nonchalantly.

Colson whips his head over to look at Luna.

"We have a date?" He asks with a mixture of shock, relief and a little bit of jealousy.

Luna's face lights up with excitement. Grinning, she leans over to kiss his cheek. "We doooo!!! And it's really freaking awesome!" She shines as she pulls out her phone. "Look... TownHall only marries on Mondays and Fridays. So.... Ash cleared your schedule from the 29th till here." Luna points to the Sunday of EstFest. Looking up into Colson's oceanic eyes, she gives him THAT One Look that made him fall so deeply in love with her. "Meaning.... We are having a seven day wedding celebration with the possibility of two of them being somewhere...." Lost in her enthusiasm, Luna suddenly remembers where they are. Changing her last word. "Awwwwwesome...." Followed by another Look.

"SEVEN DAYS?!" He exclaims. Looking at her like she just cured cancer. Forgetting the jealousy of not being included in picking the date. "Seriously?? Seven days? That's fucking SICK, Kitten. Where you wanna go?" He asks, pulling her in for a kiss on the cheek.

"We'll figure that out later..." She shrugs.

The server coming to set their food down. Refilling their drinks.

"Do you have a dress?" Emma asks.

She likes to watch the interaction between Colson and Luna. It gives her some insight to what kind of environment her daughter is exposed to when with them.

"I do..." Luna begins to speak.

Colson cuts her off.

"Yo. I legit was just freaking out on the phone with Ash over all of this. The date, your dresses, your birthday...." Colson rambles on in relief.

"My Ash...? About my birthday?" Luna questions him as they eat.

"Yeah... We haven't talked about that one either. Got any secret plans there too?" Colson has a little sass to his tone, last night still lingering.

"I haven't really thought about it... Come on, C... This month has been insane. I only figured out the dates with Ash yesterday when we were getting The Bus cleaned. I'm gotta head out Monday night for NY. I need to rehearse with this new bassist before Ellen. Which ironically worked out because, I can stop at a friend of mine's so she can fit me. I also gotta look at a brownstone in Brooklyn Heights while I'm there too. I tried to work our schedules together because I wanted you to check it out with me but you'll be in Idaho. So, I'm gonna meet back up with you in Anaheim probably. Shit is non-stop. You know this, Sugar." Luna explaining one day of her life next week. Emma tired just thinking about it.

"You need to see the Dr too." He reminds her.

"Motherfucker!!" Luna's mind bursts just as Emma opens her mouth.

"You okay, Luna? You sick?" She asks.

Casie's head pops up. Proving kids are always listening.

"Did the blueberries get you!??" She asks with wide eyes.

Luna can't help but laugh with Colson at Casie. Explaining to Emma her allergy and side stepping her with the explanation of an Annual Exam for work. It's not a full lie.

They enjoy the rest of their lunch. Emma choosing to catch a flight right black to Clevland. With hugs and kisses, she promises she'll see Casie in a week. Pecking Colson and Luna GoodBye with tight hugs. Reminding Luna that she'll send her the contact information for her friend as she gets into her uber.

--------------------------------------------------

"Wait!! Look what I got!!" Casie pulls off her school bag with excitement.

They're still standing on the sidewalk outside of Border's. Waiting for their own uber as Casie digs through her bag. Popping up once she's found what she was looking for. Proudly displaying two homemade, beaded bracelets.

"I made these for you. They're Love Bracelets. Because you're in loooove and I love YOU." She grins as she snakes her head at the two of them.

Casie makes both of their irritated souls lift with happiness. Cold hearts melt with adoration. Slipping hers on, Luna squats down to hug Casie.

"I love it, Dilla. I'll wear it everyday." She promises.

"Me too, Peanut!!" Colson scoops her up, attacking her with kisses.

"Daaaaad!!!! Stooop!!!" She laughs uncontrollably.

"Okay, okay..." He laughs, setting her down. "Here.."

He reaches for Luna's hand. Taking a picture of their gifts. He posts it to his Insta.

"Peanut made us Love Bracelets. My kid is deff the coolest 😭🙏🏽💖 #estfest can't come fast enough. 😈🔐🐈"

---------------------------------------------------

Back at MidLand, everyone's BackStage. Alcohol still flows but they've moved smoking outback. Away from Casie.

Coming down the stairs, Luna catches Casie drumming on the wall. Snagging a quick picture of her favorite little human with her favorite tall human in the background.

"That's gonna be my family..." Luna's eyes well up as she thinks of them lovingly.

"Looney!!!" Casie calls for her once she sees her. "I'm goin on stage with Dad tonight!" She grins excitedly.

"Yeah?" Luna beams at her. "What are you gonna play?"

"What I Got." Casie responds proudly.

"THE GOODNIGHT SONG!!" Luna shakes a giggling Casie. "Make sure you don't fall asleep on stage!!" She teases the little girl.

"Looney... It's too loud to fall asleep on stage." She states as a matter of fact.

"You're right, Dilla. Silly me." Luna laughs as she shakes her head at herself.

-------------------------------------------------

The show is wild as always. The Boys making about a 90% recovery by time they hit the stage. Running through the same setlist as most of this leg of the tour. Casie sings all of her dad's songs SideStage with Luna, Ashleigh and Sam. The Girls still passing a bottle but skipping the joints.

Luna dips off to change before heading OnStage. Dressing in black leather pants and a sheer open back black long sleeved top. Her ass looks phenomenal. Colson can't keep his hands off her while they're OnStage together.

Holding her from behind by the waist as he sings the last line with her, he nuzzles into her neck. Sending electricity through her body as she brings her hand down his face delicately.

"Y'all know we're getten' married, right?" He grins at the crowd's explosion. "We're doin' it at EstFest... Three day fucking RAGER!!" He shouts to the room's wild screams.

"That's right..." Luna chimes in. "This year we're extending it until Sunday with two special surprise performances for you guys. It's gonna be FUCKING WILD!!!" Luna laughs.

"WHO'S COMEN' TO CELEBRATE WITH US!??" He shouts as his fans roar.

He turns to Luna. "You think they'll come?" He asks

"I think they'll come." She answers him before turning back to the audience. "You gonna miss a helluva party if you don't...." She teases before kissing Colson.

"See ya there!!" Luna shouts as she glides OffStage. Right into a tiny Casie.

"Looney, I'm hungry." She pouts.

"We better fix that before you have to perform, hunh? I think we've got Pizza Bites on The Bus, wanna check it out with me?" Luna asks to Casie's nod.

Checking their time with Ashleigh, they have 45mins. Luna takes the little girl's hand in hers as they head off on their mission.

--------------------------------------------------

"You're the best, Looney." Casie states as she munches on pizza rolls.

"Thanks Dill. You're pretty rad yourself, kiddo." Luna smiles at her.

"So, you and dad getting married means you'll be my Looney forever?" She asks.

"Yup. Forever and ever." Luna answers as her heart swells.

"I want a sister NOT a brother." Casie stresses her request.

"WHAT?" Luna asks her with a scrunched face.

"When people get married, they have a baby. I want a girl baby." She explains.

Casie is freaking Luna the fuck out. "Where the HELL is Colson when I fucking need him..." She thinks. Not knowing how to answer.

"Well...." Luna sighs. "I'm preeeetty sure you don't get to pick whether it's a boy or girl. And, how about we get married first and have fun with you. Then maybe a baby might come.... But they don't always."

"FUCK... You should've shut up 10secs ago, you fucking idiot." Luna mentally scolds herself.

"Why?" Casie asking the question Luna knew was coming.

Luna has no idea what to fucking say. How do you tell your 10yr old, soon-to-be step daughter, that she's the only kid you like. That idea of birth and pregnancy makes you want to jump off of a bridge.

"Uhhhhmmm...." Luna chooses science. "You know how my body gets mad at me with blueberries?"

Casie nods.

"Sometimes babies are like blueberries and they just don't agree with some people's bodies..." Luna is struggling hard.

"So you'll die?" Casie asks with terror.

"Oh FUCK my life...." Is all Luna can think.

"No... No... Case, no.... It's just, sometimes blueberries aren't for everyone and sometimes babies aren't for everyone too... Does that make sense?" Luna asks her, confusing her own self.

"I guess." Casie pops up.

Dropping her dish in the sink. She washes her hands.

"Ready?" She asks.

"Yes." Luna has never been more ready in her life.

--------------------------------------------------

With the venue dark, Colson's voice quiets the crowd.

"I brought my Queen out here tonight... Now, I'm gonna bring out my Princess. Come on, Case." He calls her out.

He starts on his acoustic.

🎼Early on the morning, Rising to the street,

Light me up that cigarette, As I strap shoes on my feet🎶

Grinning at Casie, nods at her. She comes in with him. Changing certain lyrics.

🎶I got a Dalmatian, I can still get by, I can play the guitar, Like a motherchucken riot🎶

They sing before Colson hits the guitar solo. Having sang this song together all her life, they hit the notes and lyrics flawlessly. Not missing one beat.

🎶Never start no static, I just get it off my chest, Never had to battle With no bulletproof vest, Take a small example, Take a tip from me, Take all of your money, Give it all to charity, Love is what I got, It's within my reach, And the Sublime style's still straight from Long Beach, It all comes back to you, You'll finally get what you deserve, Try and test that you're bound to get served, Love's what I got, Don't start a riot, You'll feel it, When the dance gets hot🎶

Luna goes wild from SideStage. Cheering them on. Colson looking over Casie's head to grin at her. Loving her more each moment that she doesn't drive him crazy.

"THANK YOU KANSAS CITY!!! YOU WERE FUCKING SICK!!!! GOODNIGHT!!! Colson shouts, ending the show.

Holding hands with Casie, he kisses her on the cheek before passing her to Ashleigh. Colson hasn't fucked Luna all day and is dying to climb inside of her.

"We'll be back." He calls over his shoulder as he takes Luna's hand.

--------------------------------------------------

"I'm gonna rip these fucking pants off you." Colson says in frustration with Luna's zipper in between kisses. Out comes the blade again.

"No! I love these pants!!" She stops him, peeling them off herself. "Can you handle the fucking shirt?" She asks turning around for him to unzip it.

Zippers down, they're both naked in less then 30secs. Colson gripping Luna up by the ass and setting her on the edge of a table. He pushes his large dick inside of her warm pussy as she wraps herself around him.

"How come ever time I fuck you it feels like the first time?" He moans out.

"Cuz this pussy was made for you, Lover." Luna purrs into his ear.

Thrusting her hips into him as he bounces her body off his dick. They fuck each fast with a fierce hunger.

"My dirty girl likes it rough, hunh." Colson pants as he pulls Luna's hair back.

Sinking his teeth into her neck, making her buck harder. Clawing his back as she begs Yes Please.

"Mhmm... Take this fucking dick." He demands.

Making her body quiver, Luna losses all control. Gripping him harder, Luna fucks another two orgasms out of herself before Colson drops his load inside of her.

"FUCK." They both breathe out, sweaty and sex stained. Like usual, they hold each other as Colson rests in his favorite place. Both beyond content in each other's arms.

"We gotta get Case..." Luna reminds him.

As they clean up and change, they burn a joint together. Colson jumping on her so fast in the dressing room they didn't even light an After Show Sex Joint.

Just as they're about to walk out, Colson puts his large hand against the door. Stopping her.

"Wait. We get married on Monday and don't have anything to do till EST on Friday?" He asks.

"Yeah..." Luna smiles out the answer.

"You figure out where you wanna go. We gonna have ourselves a proper mini honeymoon, baaaaaby." He says in a weird country accent.

"I fucking love you." Luna cheeses as she reaches up for another kiss. ---------------------------------------------------

Word Limit (1 of 2) To be continued.......

[hoopdiddies]

I'm Not Over You // Ben Hardy x Reader (Part 5)

A/N: Oh gosh, my stomach hurts. Question: Was it unlawful of me to pour the milk in before the cereal?

Anyway, enjoy part 5, I'll get to writing 6 by the time the bacteria in my digestive tract stop roughhousing uwu

Summary: You had always loved Ben ever since you two met in university and became the best of friends. That feeling went out like a candle flame when the two of you parted ways until he re-entered your life...but this time with someone who has already occupied his heart.

Warnings: Mentions of drinking and alcohol, angst, fluff and (jealousy?)

Word count: 3177 (oops?)

Tags: @mickmoon @ziggyspurplehaze I honestly need more people to permanently tag in this series, please let me know 😁

Part 4

Part 3

Part 2

Part 1

"What the hell, Y/N? Did you lose your way into the place?" One of your colleagues snigger at your delay in finding them. Eager to get this night done, you brush off his comment and pull out a seat next to him, finding yourself looking over where Ben is seated. Not a text or a call from him that would have 'warned' you that he'd be out for a drink in the exact same place you thought would help you eradicate 'that' problem. In hopes he wouldn't catch you or take heed of your presence, you turn away and participate in ordering your drinks, suppressing the urge to glance over your shoulder and blow your cover.

The waiter arrives with your orders and the rest holler in satisfaction as he distributes your drinks. You've ordered a martini but just because you decided to start with something light doesn't mean you'll stick with it in the following hours. It's just one night anyway, what have you got to lose?

Later on, Joe arrives at the pub alone, scrutinizing the place from top to bottom before marching in, straightening the collar of his button up shirt as his eyes rove every occupied table just to find you. To your demise, a large hand rests upon Joe's shoulder and spins him around, the hand belonging to an astonished Ben with a glass of whiskey in hand. "Mate! You're here!"

Joe's nonchalant expression flits into a surprised one at that, a little concerned on the inside since he knows you're here as well and he hasn't found you yet. "Ben, buddy! Great to see you again. " He throws an arm around Ben and pats his chest.

"You're back in London, what brings you here?" Ben asks, raising a thick, disheveled brow at him. Joe trails his bottom lip subtly with his finger as he debates on telling the truth or not, taking in account that you're here with your colleagues and nowhere did you mention anything about being with Ben.

But he just doesn't feel like lying to him, and so with a sincere apology reserved for you, he replies, "Y/N invited me over."

The crinkles under Ben's eyes fade out and he allows a stiffened sigh to slip past his lips with almost nothing more to add. "She's here?"

Joe nods as a matter of fact

"You two on a date?" The question sounds forced coming from Ben and Joe did not see that coming. He had forgotten that you had projected a fake relationship with him during Ben's birthday and now it came back hitting him like a mallet. He scratches the bridge of his nose awkwardly, avoiding Ben's scouring gaze. "Y-yeah, I gotta go find her, bud. We'll catch you later." In utter haste, Joe firmly pats Ben's shoulder before whisking past him to continue his search for you, leaving Ben standing a feet away from his own table, chewing over his thoughts. He snaps out and returns to his own circle, prompted to turn his head around the place to find you.

"Yes, I need another one of this!" You demand bluntly, slamming the seventh shot glass you've drunk from on the table but not hard enough to shatter it. You really stuck to your thoughts about intending to subject yourself to intoxication. Although it's not the best way to let go of everything that's bugging you, it was tempting. And besides, a little fun wouldn't harm you entirely, right?

Three out of six of you have indeed succumb to the influence of alcohol, and the sober half is trying to get you momentary drunkards upright, one of which is you who is getting real squirmy. "Y/N, I think you've had enough." Debbie, one of your sober colleagues, stop you from getting another shot.

"I think nooot." Your speech is becoming slurred as you prop your elbows on the table, grinning mindlessly.

"Please, this isn't becoming-"

"Let me handle her." A certain redhead volunteers from behind you, making Debbie's brows perk up as she suddenly recognizes Joe.

"Hey. Um, sure. She's had too much already and it's concerning."

Joe nods with a crooked smile and peeks at you over your shoulder with his hands positioned on either side of your arms. "Y/N, hey. You alright? "

You whip your head at Joe too quickly and end up headbutting him by accident. The both of you yelp at the impact but you recover easily, your droopy eyes widening a little as you recognize Joe, who's rubbing and squinching from the bump. "Heyyy, you're late." You giggle and pinch his pale cheek, leaving a faint mark.

Joe chuckles softly yet briefly and he sweeps your ends of your hair off your shoulder. "I'm sorry, got stuck in traffic."

"That's not nice."

"Look, Y/N, you're drunk. I think I may have to skip joining your 'party' and take you out of here." He says, worry filling his eyes but you whine childishly and slump on your seat, a pout on your lips. "I just want one more shot, just one more, no more no less."

"Y/N, come on," he looks down at you in all seriousness and is not taking any of that drunken stubbornness tonight. You angle your head to one side, eyes heavy and skin flushed from the heat produced by all the drinking, staring plainly at Joe whose expression could serve as a plea to you.

You sigh inwardly. "Nope."

To your inconvenience, your adamancy would now lead to something unwanted, something Joe reluctantly just thought of. "Okay, I might not get you to budge. Your boyfriend can't make you, right?" Joe presses his lips together and his brows arch teasingly. You shoot a rather lazy yet baffled smirk at him and he shrugs apologetically. "But your best friend might." He turns around and marches to get Ben but of course, being drunk, it takes a good minute for Joe's plan to sink in to your brain.

Not a minute later, he returns true to his word with Ben looking uneasy from worrying. He had to willingly excuse himself from Rosy and his friends to come to Joe's 'rescue'. Ben asks politely if the chair next to you is taken and Debbie shakes her head, gesturing for Ben to sit down. He does yet despite with him and Joe flanking you, you remain hard-headed, snapping your squint at Ben who's got his arm positioned on your shoulder. "Oh. What are you doing here?" You put a mean emphasis on your words.

"I didn't know you were here as well, but regardless, you're sozzled."

"So? That's my problem." The drunk sass could never be any clearer.

Ben sighs and glances shortly at Joe who responds with a clueless shrug.

"I don't want to comment on that but please, you need to rest. You've had too much. " Squeezing the side of your arm gently, Ben tries to reason out with you. You roll your eyes at him deliberately, sniffling as you flick a finger at him. "This is just one night. Don't act like you-" you trail off for split second, feeling your stomach boil as nauseatic feeling hits you like an omen. Joe takes notice of the abrupt discomfort on your face and asks. "Y/N, is everything alright-" Restricting him from finishing his question, you push Joe and Ben aside and sprint to the lavatory, miraculously pinpointing it in spite of your current incapability to make a beeline. Fortunately, the stalls are flat-out empty and you shove one open, flipping the toilet seat up and vomiting into it.

Joe and Ben excuse themselves from your table and scurry to the women's room, considering to look away in advance in case the room is jam packed with girls which is not the case as of now.

"Anyone here?" With his head turned away, Joe asks indecisively to which he doesn't get a reply, affirming the bathroom's lack of users, except for you. He and Ben saunter in and call out for you. You've slumped up against the door after regurgitating, overcome with fatigue and sweat. You hear their murmurs but you don't bother to fish for their attention, however your heavy breathing would give you away, which it has.

Ben knocks on the door you're against, cooing your name before falling quiet and hearing your uncontrolled breathing pattern. He nods at Joe and slowly swings it open, your tired body following the movement of the door as it creaks ajar to reveal you. Joe scoops you up on your feet as Ben drapes your other arm around his neck, allowing your weight to be equally distributed. "That's it, we're really taking you home." Peering down at you, Ben softly reprimands. In his eyes, you were never one to have this kind of excess overwhelm you. He always knew you for occasionally turning down invitations to drinks and now you've got him wondering what goaded you to drink heavily.

"I think I should take it from here, buddy." Joe suggests, shifting your body closer to his.

"Mate, she's really limp. I need to-"

"Temporarily. You need to get back to your table and your girl. She must be wondering why you've taken so long."

Ben mulls over it and the redemption he would have had for not finding the time to hang out with you. He's conflicted between leaving to accompany his fiancee and staying to take care of you. But Joe's the 'boyfriend' and to him it would be unfair. And so with a sad sigh, he removes your arm from his shoulder and tips your head back to clear your flushed face of hair, nearly planting a kiss on your mouth by mistake– however agonizingly tempting for a moment– and wincing as he draws back to kiss your forehead, hoping Joe didn't notice which of course he did, and he's trying his best to prevent a smile from twitching on his lips.

"Take care of her, mate. I just wish she'd tell me what's wrong." He frowns, smoothing his hair back with his fingers.

"She'll tell you on her own terms."

"I suppose."

Joe displaces you from your weak stance and you let out an incoherent mumble as he lifts you up bridal style in his arms. He hands Ben a small smile before exiting the bathroom and briefly approaching your colleagues to tell them he's going to be taking you home. Debbie nods and wishes him luck, allowing Joe to leave.

He sets you down in the passenger seat of his car and buckles you in, at the same time making sure you're comfortable. Meanwhile, Ben makes it out just in time for Rosy to interrogate him. "Where have you been? And whatever you did, what took you so long?"

He closes his eyes for a mere fraction of a second and shakes his head, the jerking motion loosening the strands of hair he had combed back. He tugs his seat out, wishing to not feel obligated to answer for once. "I was just helping Joe with Y/N."

"She's here?" Rosy asks snappishly.

"For a supposed date with Joe." He exhales disappointingly, nodding at one of his mates as he takes his glass up to his lips to drink away.

Rosy rolls her eyes at Ben's sudden change of demeanor, oblivious to the reason he's discouraged.

With you curled up in his arms, Joe struggles to grab a hold onto the knob of your door. He teeters aimlessly in a desperate attempt to clip onto his balance, you being quite fidgety in his arms making it uneasy for him. "Okay Y/N, we're here. Let me just get the d-door." He finally lays his hands on the knob and twists the door open, nudging it wider with his shoulder and stumbling in with you. You're pretty much still conscious albeit it's not your own, self-controlled state of mind. You're just getting there.

Joe pauses in his tracks as he feels you yank on his collar. "What?" He asks, voiceless.

"Where's...Ben?"

"Probably still at the pub. Let's get you on the couch. I'm gonna get you a cup of...something." Between each suppressed grunt, Joe lays you down carefully on the fabric, adjusting his waistband and excusing himself to get you something to drink. You drop dead on your side and curl into a fetal position, your eyes bleary and fluttering shut at the beckon of sleep. Shortly after whipping up a glass of lukewarm water and some Aspirin to relieve you of a headache to come, Joe comes back with the items on a tray, finding you on your side, dozing off.

A mildly satisfied smile lingers upon his lips and he lays the tray on the coffee table before you, going back to the kitchen to prepare a towel to dry your face of sweat. He returns once again with a basin and just in time for a knock on the door to catch his ear. Placing the basin next to the tray, he dusts his hands together and slides them downwards his shirt in the act of drying them, answering the door and finding Ben with arms crossed impatiently behind it.

"What are you doing here?" Joe leans against the frame, making out his visit to be utterly unexpected.

"I just...is she okay?"

"Yeah, she's fallen asleep."

Ben hangs his head low for a brief pause before shifting on his footing. "Mind if I get in?" Half expecting Joe to decline, he does otherwise, stepping aside for Ben to enter. He thanks Joe quietly and proceeds to find you knocked out real good on the couch. Softened by how angelic you look in your drunken slumber, Ben gets down on his knees before you, laying the back of his hand on your forehead to check whether you've caught the flu or something. Joe approaches his side with arms crossed. "She's alright, Ben. Might get a hangover tomorrow but really, she's okay."

Ben falls silent for a while as he continues to observe you, your delicate features causing a smile to pull on his plump lips. "It's crazy. I had to leave ahead of Rosy and the guys just to check on her."

"You're making it sound like a bad thing, bud."

"No," Ben heaves out an audible exhale, taking the free space at the end of the couch, "well, maybe. But my point is that I've been too busy for a week that I haven't been completely in touch with Y/N. I want to make it up to her. You wouldn't mind that, would you?"

Joe descends on the chair opposite of Ben, throwing his right leg over his left. "What do you mean?"

"You wouldn't mind me hanging out with her, for possibly a whole day, right? "

And with that, Joe gets the point. Once again, for the second time tonight, he forgets about the charade you both are still up to and it just really dawns on him oftentimes that you're in this pretend relationship with him to compensate for what you mistakenly said to Ben the other night. "Yeah, no. I wouldn't mind. But let me ask you a question. It may be personal but don't take it as an offense from me," Joe shifts on his seat, resting his hands firm on the armrest, "was there ever a time you felt something different towards her?"

As if looking back on something lost, Ben sighs and chuckles to himself, a chuckle enigmatic in feeling. "Mate, chill, okay? I'm just her friend."

"I'm not jealous. Just curious. In the time you've known each other, have you ever felt something for her at one point?"

Uncertain but obliged to answer, Ben interlaces his fingers together and talks just loud enough for Joe to make out. "Homecoming."

"Homecoming?"

"Yeah," he breathes out, stealing a quick glimpse of you and remembering how similar you look during that night, "I had another a girl with me that night but when Y/N entered the room...something just snapped in me. She looked...divine." Chuckling to himself, he blinks rapidly and continues. "I easily wondered why I didn't ask her in the first place."

"Well you should've, you clueless bastard." Joe grumbles inaudibly enough to go unheard and he's got a hand for that skill. Ben shifts on his end and presses his lips together, doing his very best not to stare at you long enough to anger Joe.

"By the way, mate. You're invited to my wedding." With the words coming unanticipated from Ben himself, Joe coughs harshly as a reaction, his eyes growing wider by the minute at the news. "Wedding- you've proposed?" He's trying his hardest not to shriek and wake you up.

"Yeah? I thought you- I thought Y/N had already told you."

"No she did nothing of the sort!" To make it more effective, Joe yells voiclessly, gesticulating at the same time. It stuns Ben for a second that you didn't tell him– Joe being your 'new confidant' and all– but recovers soon enough to make it more clearer. "Well now you know."

In Joe's mind, that's probably the reason why you've gone heavy tonight at the pub, and he's correct. It affected you the most, second being your departure for medical school. He was right for gaining the prospect that Ben was going to go for it the night you two had left his birthday early. Joe regains his composure and rises from his seat, ruffling Ben's golden locks which have been at their floppiest tonight, also finding it hard to utter the words in his head. "That's great, buddy. That's just...amazing." He couldn't even articulate 'amazing' without thinking of your reaction when you had known first.

Ben nods, his mouth twitching a tad, his voice cutting deeper and hoarser. "Thanks, mate."

Remembering that you haven't had dinner yet, Joe decides to have Ben look after you as he goes out to buy you something to eat by the time you wake up. Ben inclines to it, even if it takes Joe the entire night to get you food. Trusting you in his temporary care, Joe rubs Ben's shoulder and leaves him to it for half an hour at max.

By the second Joe closes the door, Ben gets up with the incentive and takes the damp cloth from the basin on the coffee table, tenderly sweeping strands of hair away from your face, his refined touch making you sensitive and shudder lightly on the couch.

He wipes your forehead and the warm contact of the cloth elicits a quick groan from your throat, the pout forming on your lips prompting Ben to grin ridiculously. He swallows and dares to lower his forehead onto yours with the cloth still in his clutch, the warm touch of his skin on yours sending a sensation through your unconscious body, bringing a lone tear to trickle down your cheek. He whispers to you in the frailest tone he hasn't spoken in in a while, squeezing his eyes shut in the process.

"Please, tell me what's hurting you..."

[leighlim]

#162 - Well Told Anecdotes

Even if the discussion isn't that compelling (particularly if the chemistry isn't there), I don't find myself pressing 'delete' on the DVR entry but instead going to the last few minutes to find out if there are interesting stories.

There is actually an episode that outlines strategies to lift up the stories we would like to tell:

At which point in your life did it happen? (Childhood? While you were working at Wall Street? As a Teacher? Would mentioning the decade or year be more relevant?)

Set The scene (Where you going somewhere? What could have contributed to the malarkey we're going to hear about in the story?)

Tell the story! (Focus on where the main action is --- if there are multiple punchlines just go for the moment with the highest density then sprinkle them during 'pander time')

Go for the punchline (Best effect if you erupt in giggles or laughter only after your listeners. I know this is quite difficult...because...even stand-up comics struggle with this sometimes. But if you slip...that's okay. Keep going! If there are multiple moments that you think your listeners would giggle at...pace yourself. Either build up from weakest to strongest or build it up for a middle crescendo then follow-up with additional punchlines after your listeners have recovered. If your punchline has really sold...this is your chance to pander while your listeners recover.)

Pander only when asked (because only your audience can let you know what they're interested about)

I think it also applies when 'sofa guests' attempt to share a snippet from their own life. Of course...I'm going to go with one of Greg Davies' stories:

(I actually thought there would be captions by now! I guess I can submit and see if mine would be accepted!)

Graham: The washing...You were very hung-over...

[Recognition in Greg's eyes]

Greg: Oh! Yeah...

[Greg's face falls because he knows how embarrassing this is going to be for him]

Graham: Tell Jodi Foster THAT story!

Greg: When I was teaching...this is what the show was based on...I went home one weekend. I was in my 30's...

[Greg considers the exact number]

Greg: I was probably 33 years of age. I went home to see my mother. Then I went back. While I was at home, my mother did my washing. Because I was only 33.

[Jodi smiles as the audience laughs]

Greg: I went back...on the Sunday night...I got really drunk...and then I went for a curry. Then the next day I went to school.

[Greg suppresses a laugh]

Greg: I went to school...and it was a school in Slough...and it was quite a rough school...and they had a really brilliant hearing-impared department. So they were hearing impared kids who you know struggled. They were really looked after in the school. Anyway...

[Graham listens intently and nods.]

Greg: ...I was really hung over...and that break I felt really uncomfortable. I thought: Something's not right. You know?

[Jodi looks like she has an inkling of what's coming next and smiles wider.]

Greg: So I went to the toilet and I pulled my trousers down and some of my mother's knickers...

[Graham tries to stop laughing...but the audience doesn't hold back...]

Greg: ...got mixed up in the washing. And I was wearing my mother's underwear.

[Jodie laughs freely.]

Greg: And I'm like: "Oh, God! No!". I remember going: "Oh you loser!"

[Ryan bows his head, cracking up. Shaking with suppressed laughter.]

Greg: This is such a low point: "You ------- loser." And then...

[Jodie is loving the story. Still laughing.]

Greg: ...the curry and the booze kicked in...

[Ryan still hasn't recovered...he's trying to...but...the laughter has taken over...]

Greg: ...from the night before...

[Ryan stars massaging his temples and manages to sit up straight]

Greg: I did a fecal Jackson Pollock.

[Ryan loses it again. Throwing his head back and leaning against the sofa.]

Greg: I was saying: "Oh, God, Not This!"

[Nope...still losing. Now Ryan has his hand up..covering his mouth...]

Greg: "Oh, Jesus!" So I clean myself up and I pulled my mothers pants back up...

[And Ryan thought he was safe. Once again he's laughing. Now getting redder and redder...]

Greg: ...and I went back to the um...classroom...

[Ryan is back. tears wiped off. Still guarded]

Greg: ...and I saw onr of the hearing impared kids...

[Ryan starts giggling]

Greg: Starts looking at me like this.

[Greg demonstrates the look: just wide eyed shock.]

Greg: That's when I remembered that I had a microphone directly...

[Jodie claps while Russel and Ryan double over...laughing...]

PS: For longer form stories...you can check out podcasts 'The Moth' or 'Best Story I've Never Told' (discovered thanks to the 'Saving Face' rabbit hole.)

PPS: You're welcome!

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Note 1: If I had a chance to stick a sticky note, that had ‘awesome’ written on it, on something or someone  (There’s an ad that had people walking around with sticky notes one them that said ‘like’ —- was it from Canon?).

I do know that because this would be a long list (10,000 WHAT!?), there is a chance that I may double up (or triple? I hope not!)…so I give you my blessing to give me a ‘stern talking to’ if you do spot duplicates.

To get all the other entries: just click here.

Note 2: At times I get asked about all sorts of connection about the project — I’m going to say that the biggest connection would have been me listening to Neil Pasricha’s TED talk. Since I was doing the 10,000 Notes (the goal is now 50,000) of Encouragement at that time — I thought I’d mirror that same number

PS: Somehow #58 & #93 doesn’t show up even with the tag. :(