#atypical emotional affect

[asteroidtroglodyte]

Me: hey babe wanna see something cool?

My Wife: sure!

Me: [holds out hand excitedly]

My Wife: …what am I looking at?

Me: a rock!

My Wife: When did you go outside?

Me: I didn’t! My body made this!

My Wife: what

Me: I passed a stone!

My Wife: [horrified silence]

Me: yea check it out there’s little crystals!

My Wife, horrified: um

Me: yea if you look here you can see the oxalic crystals and-

My Wife: babe!

Me: huh?

My Wife, freaking out: babe. are you ok. are you in pain? do you need to go to the hospital what-

Me: oh. OH. I’m fine! Really! Feeling much better actually!

My Wife: well. Good.

Me: sorry, got all caught up in how cool it was that I was holding a biogenic crystal that my body made that I forgot that this is kinda horrifying, huh?

My Wife: babe, I love your autistic ass but please drink more water. And maybe warn me next time.

[aalghul]

Thinking about Jason's outward expression of emotions. He tends to only get angry as a response to perceived injustice (the same way Bruce, Dick and most of the others do). But unlike some other characters, Jason rarely every gets wound up in it, nor does he get angry even when he sees injustice if the situation doesn't call for it. Some characters get angry first and then manage their response to whatever's more appropriate, but my interpretation has always been than Jason doesn't need to because he doesn't often begin with the rage. It's not a default, instinctual response for him in most situations. It seems to be that he becomes angry when there is a perpetrator (and specifically, of a crime that hurt people with less power than the perpetrator has, in some way) towards whom he can direct that righteous anger (righteous as in the cause is his drive for justice. I'm not discussing the rightfulness right now). Can he hurt the man who was about to hurt a woman enough that he doesn't dare to try imposing his power over another woman again? Can he do something, anything to stop a serial rapist who has already caused the suicide of at least one woman? But he doesn't possess the sort of blinding anger that could become a driving motivator for his actions outside of someone in front of him to punish. He doesn't need the anger (mostly because he will instead fixate on the crime without rage to fuel him).

The notable exception to this being his behaviour preceding his death (which is explicitly referred to as atypical for Jason by both Bruce and Alfred. The whole reason he's forced to take a break from Robin is because that anger is so unusual for Jason that Bruce and Alfred are worried about Jason's mental wellbeing).

We see in Lost Days that Jason’s default state has become (to the concern of Talia and Ra’s) seemingly unfeeling, and he shows signs of a persistent flat affect throughout Lost Days, with exceptions for when he sees injustice (which is responsive, as compared to the aloofness he uses as a constant state of defence -> see: his and Talia’s conversation after he killed for the first time, Talia being glad that his sense of empathy and justice were able to overcome his general coldness). Jason's aloofness was entirely a conscious defence, but at times he was consciously exercising it (his reaction to Tim in front of Talia vs alone).

We see him cry for himself a few times, which tends to be how Jason first reacts to what hurts him deeply. Then there's his cold hatred for Bruce, which can be taken as anger in the face of heartbreak and perceived betrayal. But that anger never goes very far: Jason couldn't even make himself blow up the batmobile. In the end, it's Jason's belief that he hates Bruce and must make demands of Bruce to force him to redeem himself in Jason's esteem that fuels him. Because Jason wants Bruce to redeem himself, even if it's unlikely that he will.

All throughout Lost Days and UTRH, Jason uses teasing/biting humour in a very Robin manner to direct attention to whatever he pleases, whether that be pulling attention away from vulnerabilities or drawing attention to distortions of the truth. This habit returns to Jason strongly around times when he breaks out of his apathetic state (when he’s killing people who hurt others, pretty much), but the undertones of coldness and derision even with that humour don’t leave. We can see in this habit especially how Jason's become a distortion of who he was as Robin. He's still witty and he still teases people and you can hear the humour in his voice. But now he's using that wit to say cruel things to Batman, deceiving him constantly, and his voice no longer has a youthful kindness to it.

One of the most Helena-esque character traits that Jason’s picked up (in fanon and reboot canon) is anger as an initial defence and reaction, actually. It’s nearly the opposite of Jason’s pre-flashpoint defensive state but is essential to Helena’s. It’s actually not surprising that this happened (even ignoring reboot kicking Jason’s character into a closet and superimposing much of Helena onto him) because of how DC pushed “angry” as Jason’s defining trait, and how fans have believed it for so long. It seems almost natural for a misconception this severe to happen, even in the face of evidence to the contrary, because every action of Jason’s is misconstrued as proof for an angry temperament.

[schizopositivity]

could you share any more under-talked about symptoms of schizophrenia, like executive dysfunction?

I've actually been meaning to make a post like this but keep forgetting (lol that's a symptom). As a disclaimer, not everyone with schizophrenia has every one of these symptoms, and people can have a lot of these symptoms and not have schizophrenia (if they don't have the psychotic symptoms). Not all of these symptoms are seen as diagnostic criteria, some have just been observed to be very common in people with schizophrenia. (I'm excluding hallucinations and delusions because they are more well known)

• Paranoia: a pattern of behavior where a person feels distrustful and suspicious of other people and acts accordingly. This can go hand in hand with hallucinations and delusions.

• Disorganized thoughts: this can mean a lot of things. It can be not having a linear train of thought, having incoherent thoughts, thought blocking, general disorganized thoughts. (It can be hard to define because it is often hard to describe for the person experiencing it).

• Disorganized speech: this is often a result of the disorganized thoughts. This can include loose associations like rapidly shifting between topics with no connections between the topics. Perseveration, which is repeating the same things over and over again. Made up words that only have meaning to the speaker. Use of rhyming words without meaning. Word salad, which is when cognitive disorganization is severe, it can be nearly impossible to understand what the person is saying, but the person speaking doesn't know they aren't making sense.

• Trouble concentrating: lack of concentration, switching from topic to topic, not being able to focus on one thing. (This is pretty self explanatory).

• Movement disorders: catatonia can be repetitive non goal directed movements. It can also be complete or partial immobility, mutism, vacant staring, and rigidity. Although not a symptom, tardive dyskinesia can occur in schizophrenia as a result of antipsychotics medication.

• Anhedonia: a loss of pleasure in activities that the person once enjoyed. Or the inability to feel pleasure at all.

• Atypical or non-existent emotional expression: Flat or blunted affect is an inability to show emotions characterized by a lack of facial expression, a monotone voice, and no hand gestures. On the other hand people can also have inappropriate affect, where the emotional expression doesn't align with typical reactions or even the person's own feelings.

• Alogia: when someone speaks less, says fewer words or only speaks in response to others. This can be a result of disorganized thoughts.

• Social withdrawal: avoiding people and activities that someone once enjoyed. Not actively being present during social situations. Can progress to total isolation.

• Avolition: a severe lack of initiative to accomplish purposeful tasks. This is a big reason some people with schizophrenia can't work/go to school, can't do chores, and can't keep up with their basic hygiene. Even if the person wants to do these tasks, it may be extremely difficult or impossible for them to get themselves to start or complete the task due to the lack of motivation.

• Executive dysfunction: a behavioral symptom that disrupts a person's ability to manage their own thoughts, emotions and actions. This can include focussing too much on one thing, being easily distracted, spacing out, struggling to switch between tasks, problems with impulse control and trouble starting difficult or boring tasks. Several schizophrenia symptoms fit into the umbrella of executive dysfunction, so when researching you will either see the specific ones listed out, or just simply described as executive dysfunction.

• Alexithymia: significant challenges in recognizing, expressing, and describing one's own emotions.

• Poor memory: this can include working memory deficits like trouble planning, organizing, and carrying out daily chores such as running errands, because it requires mentally formulating a “to do” list organized by time and location. Many people with schizophrenia also report trouble with their episodic memory, which means they have trouble recollecting things in the context of their place and time. (A lot of sources say "trouble with memory" is a symptom but they don't specify).

• Trouble with decision making: people with schizophrenia have been shown to have trouble with decision making due to a decline in the understanding and reasoning aspects of it.

• Sensory processing deficits: this has been widely reported in schizophrenia, and include impairments in visual processing, auditory processing, olfactory and sensorimotor systems. This can lead to having strong positive or negative reactions to sensory information.

• Sleep troubles: though disturbed sleep isn't included in the diagnostic criteria for schizophrenia, it is still a significant problem that up to 80% of people with the condition experience. People with schizophrenia may have various sleep problems, including insomnia, excessive daytime sleepiness, and trouble with consistent sleep routines.

• Anosognosia: also called "lack of insight," is a symptom that impairs a person's ability to understand and perceive their illness. This is a big reason people with schizophrenia may refuse to get, or stay with treatment.

[y-rhywbeth2]

D&D Vampire Lore Dump #5

Vampire Psychology Is extremely depressing! The changes vampirism inflicts on the psyche, plus vampire morality and the state of their souls; How they deal with conflict; Vampires' relationships with others (including other undead); vampire "mental health" and depression naps.

OBLIGATORY DISCLAIMER FOR FIRST TIME READERS: D&D is decades old, spans five editions, several settings and hundreds of writers. One guy establishes a piece of lore, and then the next picks it up goes "nah" and writes something else. I collected info from four different source books, all from different editions, which naturally don't entirely agree on how vampires work. Lore never stays consistent and may contradict itself. You may see information somewhere else from a source I don't have that contradicts what I wrote here. If you read this and like some of this stuff but not other bits, take the good and ditch the rest. Larian themselves have not written BG3 totally compliant with some established D&D lore or the original games. You do what you want.

Feeding | "Biology" | Hierarchy | Weaknesses and Cures | Psychology

Are vampires evil? As a rule, yes. Gleefully so. Vampirism, the condition, is inherently evil/harmful. Vampires as individuals may be more complicated, as they are still people with their own personalities, and vampirism can affect them atypically or with varying levels of severity. There are exceptions to norms and rules...

...except for the rule that vampirism is a curse and it does corrupt one's emotions and values, twisting them to be monstrous parodies, inversions or extremes of the original quality to at least some degree.

One of the most notable traits vampirism is that it will twist and inflate is the individual's pride, and arrogance is a universal trait. It definitely doesn't help when the vampire in question was already a self-absorbed idiot in life. Many vampires are completely consumed by delusions of grandeur.

Even when they want to be good people, vampires are flat out described as typically being "innately selfish" which "makes a good alignment difficult to uphold."

Vampirism also instils sadism and violent tendencies - vampires enjoy violence and hurting people and when they experience rage the sensation is made more powerful.

That vampirism corrupts its victims isn't that surprising, considering the origins of vampirism all seem to lead back to evil Powers who exist to corrupt people the exact way vampirism does. Demons, infernal pacts, Archdevils, and evil deities like the Dead Three…

However, a vampire can resist this corruption. There is at least of a fragment of the mortal they were in a vampire, the "part of it that is still mortal [and] yearns tenaciously for the things it had in life," even as the parts of them consumed by vampirism scorns those impulses.

If their will to do so or their attachment to a specific part of their identity is strong enough then individual vampires can retain/maintain some part/s of their mortal self intact and untainted by the curse. Vampires do not necessarily begin their unlives evil-aligned and have the option to struggle against their condition and be more than their curse tries to make them, if they chose.

It doesn't help that their nature is enforced by their "upbringing." The combination of vampiric nature with the trauma that they're "born" into leaves an incredibly strong inclination towards evil alignments eventually.

Maintaining a good alignment is beyond the "typical" vampire, but neutral alignments have been seen in those who don't want to be the monsters their master made them into. They can choose to help others and resist their worst impulses. Notably while the 3.5e description of vampire spawn as pcs says that they are traditionally evil and typically find good difficult to uphold due to their nature, that exact wording means that being good-aligned or leaning towards it is not impossible. It is unfortunately far easier for vampires to backslide than to move forward, and there is no escape from the constant instinctual drive to become evil for as long as a person remains a vampire, but it can be done.

"The arts of creating and controlling undead are Evil […] but undead themselves [vampires included] are not always evil." - Lords of Darkness (1e)

And on the bright side of innate vampire inclinations, vampires don't have the inherent hatred for the living possessed by other undead! (They just tend to think mortals are inferior and usually only bother to look at them if they're in need of slaves and/or food…)

Vampires without souls are a special exception to morality here, they are fully evil and have nothing within them to counter the vampiric instincts, but first we need to talk about the state of a vampire's soul - a topic of much bickering.

-

The soul in D&D canon is basically the essence of life and personhood - without it, while the brain may continue to fire neurons and circulate hormones, the individual feels "empty" and grows increasingly disassociated from those emotions and the world around them. They lose their personality, emotions and ability to form genuine relationships as everything they were starts to fade away into nothing.

Here's a quote from a soulless dude talking to the woman he loved up til the moment he lost his soul and couldn't love her any more that I think sums it up quite nicely: "I… I do not remember your love […] I have tried to. I have tried to recreate it, to spark it anew in my memory. But it is gone… a hollow, dead thing. For years, I clung to the memory of it. Then the memory of the memory. And then nothing. […] I look upon you and I feel nothing."

So, in 1e undeath destroyed the soul. In 2e I'm not sure if they had one - no, I think? 3.5e and 4e I don't know ever answered the question. 5e says they do have a soul, but it's corrupted in the manner already discussed.

In the Baldur's Gate series? Yes, they do. Aside from the whole 7000 souls thing, back in BG2 there's a vampire you kill whose soul is in agony and lingers to beg you to kill him and thanks you when you do for freeing him from undeath. In BG3 you may read Cazador's subconscious thoughts- as he mourns his mortal life, "the monster that will not end" and wishes to die. The soul is still there in the background, but it really wishes it wasn't.

In the case of vampires that don't have a soul all that's left behind is a flesh puppet piloted by a curse, echoing emotions they can't feel based on memories of a mortal life they can't really understand because all they are is a void filled by the violent, selfish, power-hungry monster that is pure vampire while the person they were is gone forever.

And even they're having a bad time! In BG2 we have another vampire: an elf whose spirit/soul is long gone, and she's still subconsciously screaming in horror at what she's become (which says a lot considering how evil she was to begin with. Like, "drain the life from the population a whole city, killing them to empower myself" unrepentant Evil).

-

Revisiting that "innately selfish" thing; The one thing vampires prize above all else is their own skin, and they will usually avoid risking it at all costs. A vampire might be willing and able to put aside the urge to be a selfish asshole, if it's for the sake of something they care about enough, but that's rare.

Vampires often rely on strategy and avoid straight-up fights. A "fair fight" is a foreign concept. They don't face an unknown enemy face-on until they know what they're dealing with, and will generally keep their distance trying to manoeuvre themselves into an advantage. They'll pretend to be more affected by their weaknesses than they are, to trick an opponent into letting their guard down. For example, pretending to be turned by a cleric, only to sneak back when the party's asleep and kill them then. Fleeing to either draw enemies into a trap or to sneak back for a backstabbing is a very popular tactic amongst vampires.

They also like to try and weaponise whatever social skills they have. Seduction, intimidation, coercion, bribery… whatever they think they can use to try manipulate others. They infiltrate the echelons of power, turning the rich and influential into their puppets. Build spy networks. They'll try to divide groups of potential enemies by exploiting their weaknesses, trying to weaken the group by turning the group against each other and enticing others to betray their allies in exchange for allying with the vampire. Vampires do so like to collect minions. Whether it's an innate desire for domination or a side effect of beginning unlife without autonomy, it's hard to find a vampire that doesn't (want to) have an army of servants and a desire to control people.

-

Speaking of minions, Vampires have a knack for necromancy and commanding their fellow undead considering them obviously inferior and so obviously existing to serve them. You'll often find other kinds of undead in the service of vampires.

Other sapient undead in turn think that vampires are obnoxious morons! Mummies think vampires are disgusting because they drink blood and they have little patience for vampires' tendencies towards peacocking and melodrama. Ghouls prefer to avoid interacting with vampires because they're arrogant pricks. Wights think vampires are "embarrassing poseurs trying too hard to pass themselves off as living beings." Mohrgs respect the vampiric drive to seek power, but look down on them for depending on the living to survive.

Vampires make the absolute worst company for other vampires; they're solitary predators, competitive and highly territorial and two free willed vampires will fight if they occupy an area together. It won't necessarily be combat; it might be fighting through their minions; or sabotaging each other's political machinations or something - but one needs to feel it has defeated or driven away the other. When it does come to a fight, it can often dissolve into animalistic violence. An example given of vampires in combat is of two vampires trying to kill each other with their bare hands, "hissing and spitting like cats". As vampires get older they learn to control their instincts and temper, and they can ally with their peers temporarily, but this too will inevitably collapse under the stress this cooperation puts them under. The only vampires another vampire can (barely) tolerate are the ones it controls or the ones it's magically brainwashed into "loving". If a vampire must deal with another on less unequal terms, they do it at a distance and they engage in a careful exchange to ensure the deal does not benefit the other party more than it benefits them and does not place one in control of the other in any way.

Young vampires often turn their loved ones in order to avoid losing them to age, disease and death. This obviously backfires, as the loved ones can only stay with them as slaves or enemies.

Despite the instinctual side of being a vampire ensuring that they can't be around each other, as individual people, vampires can have compatible personalities and feel affection for each other without being chained to one another (by doing it from a distance) - Mortals, of course, do not pose this issue. They pose other ones related to power dynamics and being a potential food source.

As vampires always seem to be utterly selfish fucks who treat everyone else as garbage that exists only to be ordered around, nobody expects them to care about anything or anyone else. And that's why people get caught off guard when a grieving vampire - against all expectations of vampire behaviour, arrives - sometimes out of nowhere, to exact vengeance on behalf of whoever was killed. Typically vampirism will try to warp affection into obsession and a desire to possess, but vampires can care about others.

Also when vampires feel strongly about another person, they definitely don't respond very healthily to losing them. Vampires seem to largely respond to the initial hit of grief by going into a blind, animalistic frenzy where they massacre everything within arms reach. After that they become utterly consumed by vengeance, which can spiral horribly out of control.

One day, inevitably, the stress and misery of eternal unlife gets too much. Depression is a given. Paranoia is also incredibly common. Whatever coping mechanisms the vampire has steadily spiral out of control. If the vampire's choice happens to be violence and hedonism, then they rapidly devolve into an utter monstrosity. Often the vampire's struggles become increasingly obvious until they're killed either by hunters or another vampire. Suicides also occur.

When vampires feel the weight of their unlives pressing down on them they usually go into hibernation in the hope that the rest will refresh them a bit and alleviate the stress. Or at least shut out the world. In a state of hibernation the vampire's thoughts are slow and sluggish; a single thought can take months or years to process. They have no sense of the passage of time or hunger as they experience strange dreams mixed with memories and the occasional vague impressions of their surroundings. The vampire has no way to know or control how long they will be in hibernation for. It will last at least 40 years, and has been known to last for centuries. In this state a vampire is significantly weakened, physically and mentally. Being forced to wake before their time may kill them, and if they wake "naturally" it will take 3-10 days for their minds to fully shake off the hibernation state. The vampire must feed within 12 hours prior to laying down in a safe space, underground and surrounded by several feet of rock/earth on either side (including above and below) in order to enter hibernation.

[auschizm]

what are some examples of autism+schizospec behaviors? im new here

Traits that are generally found in both schizophrenic people and autistic people are, among others:

Stimming

Flat affect/lack of appropriate emotional reactions and/or "inappropriate" emotional reactions

Executive dysfunction + various other cognitive challenges

Various struggles with verbal communication

Feelings of alienation and isolation

Often being labeled "weird" and "offputting" in social settings

Having a unique and atypical approach to/view of the world

Having less energy/"spoons" avaliable than most people do

Tendency to experience shutdowns and meltdowns if pushed/overwhelmed

Tendency to "live in our own world"/get stuck in our heads

[freesia-writes]

Ch 22: Departure

~ Master List ~ Previous Chapter ~ WC: 2.2k

Song: Where Is My Mind? by Pixies

.

“Will I see you at the Fish Dance? I know those hips do more than I’ve seen,” Luciana said, swaying her own with a little snicker as she stood across the bar from Hunter. It was a balmy day, the warm rays of sun tempered by a gentle sea breeze, yet the slump of his shoulders remained.

“Fish Dance?” he echoed, brows lowering at the name.

“I know… Who came up with that?” she giggled with a shrug, polishing a glass as she gave Hunter a wink.

“Since it takes place immediately following the annual Fishing Derby, I suppose it would be the simplest and most natural option,” Tech observed, not taking his eyes from his datapad where it lay on the counter beside his brother. He paused, tilting his head thoughtfully. “Although it does conjure imagery of the fish being the ones dancing, which is as humorous as it is physically impossible. Perhaps that adds to the tongue-in-cheek element…”

“Not really my scene,” Hunter interrupted, shaking his head at Luciana as Tech drifted off. 

“Aw, come on. You’ve been moping for months, Xyrgio. We all get our hearts broken sometimes. It gives us a chance to build up our love for ourselves instead of relying on receiving it from others, and we move on with more confidence and fortitude. Live and learn, baby. But don’t let it keep you down.” She put the glass down and placed a warm palm over his fist, which clenched slightly beneath her grasp. He hated how it made him feel, but was distracted when she leaned a bit closer, soft green eyes intent on his as she patted his hand. “You’re too delicious for that. So have a little fun. Find yourself again, you know? It’ll be like a breath of fresh air.”

He didn’t know what to do with that. Her life had clearly been so different from his own that it felt entirely alien. Self-love? Heartbreak? All this relational stuff wasn’t part of his engineering, and the whole ordeal with Lyra had shown him why. But still, he was expected to continue living this civilian life, to continue trying to act normal in a world that wasn’t made for him. He leaned back and rubbed his forehead. He’d thought he was doing better, losing himself in extra hunting time. He and Wrecker had completed an entire project on his cabin that expanded Omega’s room to provide her a space to work in a cozy room made of windows where she could enjoy the view. He’d cleaned the butcher shop from corner to corner and had experimented with new ways of cutting the meat. But the last few days had felt increasingly restless, and the repeated sleepless nights spent tossing and turning had given him enough brain fog that he didn’t feel like he cared much about anything anymore. 

“Alright,” he said with a sigh of surrender.

“Really?” Luciana asked, brightening considerably after a moment of utter shock.

“Why not,” he grumbled with a shrug, running a hand through his hair and ignoring Tech’s blatant stare at the side of his face. 

“Well alright!” she said, beaming at him. “It’s a date!” she exclaimed before rushing off to answer a rowdy customer at the other end.

“A curious choice in rebound options,” Tech observed, and now it was Hunter who was staring at him. 

“Rebound?” he said in disbelief.

“Most commonly used as a literal term where an item bounces back after hitting another object, usually in a sports context, ‘rebound’ is also frequently applied to relationships where an individual is still affected by the emotional distress caused by the termination of a romantic or sexual engagement. It is often characterized by unusual choices or atypical behavior.”

“That’s not–”

“It is an entirely human response, I assure you. In fact, it’s fascinatingly nuanced in the psychological sense because it reveals the various layers of one’s concept of self–”

“No, I… Nevermind.”

He felt truly lost.

* * * 

The Fishing Derby was a hit, drawing people from multiple islands to enjoy a spirited day on the beaches and seas nearby. Wrecker had joined enthusiastically, bringing Omega and Crosshair along, and as the sun set on the horizon, everyone was reclined together in one of the large seating areas on the beach outside the bar. The tables and chairs had been moved out onto the sand to clear an area for dancing beneath the string lights on the tiki patio, and additional cushions and pillows were thrown together under gazebos made of wooden frames and a light, gauzy material that fluttered gently in the breeze. 

“You nailed that big one!” Wrecker declared jubilantly, clapping Crosshair on the back so hard that his toothpick shot out of his mouth. “That was a great shot!”

“A fortunate twist of fate,” the sniper muttered, staring at his forlorn little piece of wood now nestled in the sand.

“That was pretty fun,” Omega admitted, a content smile on her face as she nursed a fruity little drink.

“We should have figured out a way to promote the Academy here,” Echo said, noting the large crowds milling all around. 

“You’ve got enough on your hands, no?” Hunter muttered, staring at the sky from his messily flopped position across a corner seat, his own liquor bottle dangling from a hand thrown over the back of the cushions. It was an uncharacteristically careless position for him, and Phee squinted slightly from her seat beside Tech.

“Enough on his hand, you mean,” came Crosshair’s little jab, quickly answered by a wadded-up paper wrapper hitting him in the face from Echo’s finished ronto wrap. 

“Only need one to kick your ass, egghead,” Echo began, suddenly cut off by a new arrival.

“Sounds like he knows my move,” Luciana announced, winking at Crosshair as she appeared from the buildings with a large pitcher and a stack of cups in her hands. She was wearing a dusty blue dress with dainty white dots that hugged her curves from her chest to her thighs, and its ruched top was framed by frilly sleeves that hung off her shoulders. Her hair was down for once, rippling in rich red waves to her collarbone where a few small gold chains dangled above her cleavage. “Now who needs a refill?”

“I thought you weren’t working today!” Wrecker said as she sat the goods down on the low table in the middle of their space and invited others to help themselves.

“I’m not! For once!” she said triumphantly, pushing her way toward Hunter’s corner and perching herself neatly right on top of one of his spread thighs. His head jerked up, surprised, and he scooted to sit upright, nudging her off his leg onto the seat beside him. Nonplussed, she poured herself a glass of the brightly-colored cocktail, then pulled her legs up onto the cushion beside her, leaning onto the backrest. 

“Make yourself at home,” Crosshair muttered, smirking as he caught sight of Tech and Phee both staring at her with unfettered curiosity.

“Thanks babe,” she returned, pursing her lips at the sniper and lifting her glass toward him. “So. How’s the week been for everyone?”

It was silent for a beat, then Echo offered something. “Got a batch graduating from the Academy tomorrow. We’ll see how many are hung over after tonight…”

Luciana laughed, casting a glance back toward the patio where the music was growing louder and the dancers were in full swing. “Yeah, any excuse to cut loose these days, eh?” 

“Hey, fishing is an important part of island life!” Wrecker exclaimed with a grin.

“No argument there!” she answered, flashing him a bright smile of her own. “Tell me all about your catches!”

He needed no encouragement, immediately launching into a blow-by-blow recollection of the day’s escapade. Luciana sipped her drink, punctuating her active listening with occasional small glances to Hunter that were filled with a warmth and subtlety that seemed reserved only for him. The conversation wore on, the group settling around her presence as she navigated effortlessly between each of them, asking thoughtful questions and genuinely delighting in their answers. 

Some eventually broke off into their own little conversations, dissolving into a contented hubbub, and Hunter was struck by the general sense of peace. Luciana was enraptured by Omega’s recount of her most recent internship, and he’d been surprised at some of the insightful suggestions the bartender offered as Omega shared her ongoing insecurities about her friend group. The music from the patio quieted to give way to the DJ’s announcement of the party “officially” starting, inviting everyone to come dance and be merry, then the persistent beat resumed, louder now as the shouts of the enthusiastic attendees accompanied it. 

��Care to dance?” Luciana asked Hunter, once Omega had turned back to Wrecker. He regarded her impassively as though trying to discern her motive, then he shook his head, leaning forward to drop his empty bottle on the table. 

“Don’t know how.” 

She caught the tiniest slur in his speech, smirking at the slight detour from his typically stoic and borderline uptight behavior. “There isn’t a ‘right’ way,” she nudged, leaning into him a bit more with a satisfied smile as he allowed it. “You deserve some fun.” Her voice was softer now, as was her fond gaze. “Consider it exercise,” she offered with a laugh, pinching his muffin top that had grown slightly after the previous months of Lyra’s savory cooking. “Then it’s a good and responsible and disciplined thing to do. Right?”

His brows dropped into a bit of a glare, then he surprised her with a laugh of his own, shaking his head. The motion combined with the pleasant buzz of the liquor sent a flurry of dizziness through him. Some of his plight was starting to make sense, if he were honest with himself. His entire life had been a heavy, burdensome plod through struggle after struggle. Now that he was free, what was keeping him from throwing caution to the wind and seeing what he’d missed? His family was thriving, happy, and safe. Things had settled into a predictable, reassuring rhythm. Perhaps he was holding too tightly to the past instead of accepting life as it was now. And he’d seen, repeatedly, where his frantic need to ensure safety and responsibility had gotten him. 

A gentle tug on his shirt brought him back to the present, as Luciana’s small fingers toyed with his hem where it was buttoned together. Her doe eyes activated a little burst of tingles in his gut and he relented, rising to his feet as she pulled him by the hand. As he stood, stretching for a moment before following her toward the patio, it felt as though he were shedding the weight of a million regrets that had haunted him for far too long, and he felt a bubbly lightness, watching her slender form weave through the crowd in front of him as he left the curious and confused glances of his family behind.

“It’s about time,” she purred, turning to face him as they reached the corner of the dance floor. She took both his hands, inviting him to join her, and he did, leaning closer. 

“What?”

“It’s about time!” she yelled, still nearly drowned out by the music. 

“For what?” Hunter said, clearly a bit foggy as she stepped in close, staggering her legs between his and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. A wave of heat rushed from his head to his toes.

“For us to have some fun!” She pressed her body against his, shifting side to side in time with the music, and he tentatively placed his own hands on her waist, still unable to shake the suspicion from his face despite the waves of pleasant buzz. “Hunter,” she said, giving him a serious look from a few inches away. Her use of his actual name, instead of the litany of pet names she typically employed, struck him to the core, and he pulled back a little to see her whole face, which was both earnest and profound. “I’m not playing games. In case it hasn’t been obvious, I think you’re amazing.” She smiled, brushing a few stray hairs out of his face before resting her hand on the back of his neck, emanating an adoration that was simultaneously confident and sheepish. “I’ve had a fat crush on you for ages. Not hiding anything, no sneaky motives, just… you’re frickin hot and I think we’d have a blast if you’d let your hair down a bit and stop holding back out of fear or duty or whatever it is. If you’re not into it, that’s alright, but if it’s just your own martyr tendencies stopping you, I think you should let go of that for just a little bit and see what life could be like.” 

He stared at her, reeling from the sheer overload of her admission, the pounding music, the cacophony of voices, the faint tipsiness, the myriad of smells punctuated by her sweet perfume, and the evocative sensation of her lithe body against his own. Closing his eyes for a moment, he sought any kind of guidance, anything that could ground him… but found none. 

“Alright Salentino,” he murmured, feeling his body loosening up at his acceptance. “Show me what I’ve been missing.” 

She beamed at him, tapped the tip of his nose, then leaned into him, losing herself in the rhythm and the pure joy of the festivities as she danced freely against him. Hunter felt fragmented for a moment, confused and frustrated, then closed his eyes too, departing from himself in an inexplicable way.

.

Author's Note: The story takes a turn, as you've seen, and I think there may be elements that seem out of character for Hunter. But I was operating under the perspective that he's just been through so much, that past failures rest so heavily on his shoulders, and that he was so betrayed/shocked/hurt when he was just thinking he could do this whole civilian life thing... That it kind of drives him to just say "F it all" in a way. Is it not a super smart or responsible response? Yes. Is he being more emotionally reactive than strategic? Yes. We've all been there, let's be honest. ;)

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[the5thcellar]

Hi, I recently stumbled upon your blog and I am so glad I did! While I’m very sorry for all the troll hate you’ve received, I like the sassy way you’re handling them. I’m trying to find the humor in why so many people are pressed and feel like they need to defend something that you haven’t even denied is real. And just because you have a different opinion, they cannot handle it. Reading your responses, and reading the responses of other people with whom I share similar sentiments, has made me laugh and feel better over the last week. I’ve been desperately trying to find other posts/people that have similar vibes because this whole… situation-ship has been a bit much. I also appreciate your reminder that “no matter how good a man seems, trying to justify anything they do is still a sure path to disappointment!” 

I was wondering if you had any thoughts about Luke’s social media lately? I’ve read some points about how messy his social media presence has been handled (or mishandled) over the past year+ and how it did not help with the way everything played out. Also, I feel like he’s either turned on notifs for Nic because he’s been very diligent about liking all her posts, or maybe, he’s finally gotten a team to handle it. I just feel like everyone is in crisis comms mode, trying to wrangle back control. Just genuinely curious because it’s what I’ve been pondering over for the last day or two. Thank you in advance for your time if you answer my ask!

I'm so sorry this took me awhile - I started replying it in the morning on the way to work but decided I needed to gather my thoughts more.

To the first part: I completely empathise with how the entire situation has just been so "much" - it really has. It seems so silly, but somehow, whether or not two people I DON'T KNOW are in love or not in love, are best friends or are not best friends - can affect so much of my mental and emotional wellbeing.

I know I'm being parasocial (it seems to be the internet buzzword of the moment). But let's be clear: almost EVERYONE online - everyone who has written in to my ask box, who has commented, who has liked - everyone on twitter and tiktok who has talked about this - they're all just as parasocial. Because we're all assuming and casting aspersions on people we do not personally know. No one online who engages in discourse has the moral or ethical high ground. We are ALL in the gutter together (that said - I believe the gutter has many levels 😂).

IN ANY CASE - I just want to assure you that what you're feeling is not some atypical affliction. It is normal to feel awful that something you believed in and something you felt happy about is untrue. It is normal to look for other people who feel the same because misery is always better with company. It is normal to feel disappointed even as you remind yourself that men have been useless since the dawn of time.

The best counter to all these sad, awful feelings is to remember that life is a cycle. That life is complex. And although I'm saying this for the millionth time - that life has many, many grey areas.

As a kid I thought Zanessa was everything. Then they broke up, and she got together with Austin whom I hated. For years I seethed at the very mention of them. And after almost a decade... they also broke up. And not even 2 years after that, she's married and with child.

For a long time I also thought Brangelina was everything - you can't imagine my devastation when they divorced and I found out Brad is a complete dirtbag. But at the same time that I felt this horrible upset - I'm sure TONS of other people were feeling vindicated because they were fans of Jen A.

There are just SO MANY other stories like that. I mean come on - JLo and Ben Affleck. On again, off again, finally made it to the altar ... and now they're headed for divorce.

Chris and Mariska - both married to other people for 27 bloody years (or maybe longer) - and still making it very clear they are each others soulmates - and NOT platonic ones btw.

Tony and Kerry - WHAT EVEN ARE THEY? Perhaps the only pair on the internet that has people rooting for cheating and affairs 😂

Lessons: don't let a long term boyfriend stop you from finding a husband. Don't let a husband stop you from finding your soulmate. Don't let your soulmate stop you from engaging in a late, great love affair.

All crazy, contradicting statements distilled from all the above real life stories.

It makes one thing very clear to me: I can believe what I want to believe about Luke and Nicola. Because no one fucking knows what is in the future. They could get together next month. Next year. When they're in their 70s. No one can tell me SHIT about what I believe - not when life is clearly full of incredible twists and turns.

So fuck it. Fuck the haters and the antis and the naysayers. I can ship them till the day I die and no one can tell me any different. Because how could they? They literally canNOT !

To the second part: this is an easy answer and there's no need to think too much into it. Luke's social media has simply undergone an extensive renovation by his agents and team in anticipation of him becoming a big star (whether or not that will actually happen remains to be seen). All highly personal, "non-aesthetic" posts of his have been archived - his posts are all related to work and his coworkers. He has many posts with Nicola because he / his team knows those get the most engagement - and the more engagement he gets, the better the IG algorithm works in his favour to push his OTHER, non-Nicola or Bridgerton related posts to people's feeds. I don't think anyone is in crisis comms mode tbh. Maybe Nicola panicked a bit after she posted that tiktok that everyone took wildly out of context. But beyond that I don't think the wider audience gives af who he's dating - it seems like his personal life is very big news only because we keep searching about it and talking about it and so it feels like EVERYONE is. But if you step outside the online bridgerton fandom bubble ..... no one cares. There is a HEFTY portion of netflix viewers who watch bridgerton without EVER going online to read about the actors.

Long story short I think Nicola and Luke will become even MORE conscious about what they post - but I don't believe there was a crisis in the true sense of the word. And although Luke's team clearly handles his socials he obviously has access to it as well. Btw - all celebs have someone who handles their socials I'm sure Nic does too, just that she's also on her own account a lot. I don't know if Luke has his notifs on for Nicola's posts but even if he does I don't believe his consistent likes mean anything much. I mean...he also diligently likes all of Antonia's posts 😂

Social media isn't much of an indicator of honesty to me ... as someone whose work heavily involves it, everything is curated to a disgusting degree.

What I put more stock in is what we can see - and what we can see of them when they DON'T think about being seen - which is to say, all the unconscious, natural moments between Nicola and Luke - the vibe around them both, and the easy way they breathe and exist together.

That's what makes me such a big believer in their bond.

[surplus-of-sarcasm]

#32

TW: Knives, references to violence, restraints, bruises/wounds, flirty? 

I am literally sauurrr sorry for being so inactive but college is destroying me. It's been so long since I've written too, so I do hope the quality of this piece isn't affected. Missed u guys 💙

"Do I scare you?" the hero asked, her voice devoid of any emotion, all while her eyes stared straight through the villain like he was transparent, searching for something in his expression. 

Except his face remained defiantly blank, looking up at her, fire in his honey brown eyes, surprisingly not sparing any effort to attempt escaping his restraints. 

When the hero stuck one of her nails into a small, open cut on his neck, the villain bit back a wince, an irritated frown tugging at the corner of his lip. "Yes," he supplied, his tone even and calm, not even hostile, trying to render himself as passive as possible. 

Except he'd licked his lip in that quick, almost imperceptible manner, something he only ever did when he lied, something the hero wasn't supposed to know. 

But she did. 

"Stop lying," she snarled, sticking her nail again in the cut.

"The hell do you want, Hero?" he snapped, hissing as her finger left his cut. 

The breaking point. The point where the villain was done placating and playing along and already back to his normal, wild state, where he could care less about whatever earned the hero's ire. 

She'd spent the last three hours mostly in silence, only ever talking to ask the villain a question she knew would irritate him. He held up surprisingly well, even though his self-preservation instincts were usually nowhere to be found. So she wondered why he'd act so placidly in the beginning.

The villain liked to talk. He did most of the talking during their fights. The quiet drove him insane, and now he had his teeth bared like an animal, murder in his eyes and tension in his jaw.

This was the part where the hero should've laughed or slapped him across the face, or done anything just as cruel.

The truth was that they'd both been nothing but cruel to each other, enemies by virtue. The villain had beat the hero black and blue, had called her a myriad of flithy names, had screamed at her because of how much he hated that she was quiet. In turn, the hero made sure that every nick with a knife and every punch against skin had left a mark on the villain. She fought to scar, not just to incapacitate. She knew the scars were more a wound to his ego than his body, proof she'd hurt him.

And yet, the villain had pulled her out of a ditch and bandaged up her nearly destroyed leg, effectively saving her life when he had no business being there. In turn, she'd pulled him up when he almost slipped off a roof during one of their fights. 

And situations like that would only keep happening more and more often, almost a staple of their atypical relationship. The villain would laugh, would crack a joke, would be so careful with her wounds, would be anything but his usual abrasive self. 

And the very next fight, they would be even more horrible to each other, as though whatever had happened the day before had never been, as though cruelty was the only language they could speak. 

The hero didn't have friends. They were another luxury she couldn't afford. Her teammates weren't actively cruel or anything of the like, but the agency left no room for any semblance of friendship or love or all the things the hero wanted but could never really have. And the villain wasn't her friend. He wasn't supposed to be anyone. But he was genuine, almost the only person in her life who didn't sound and act like a robot. He'd had actual conversations with the hero. And maybe she was not stupid enough to think that made him any good, but maybe she was stupid enough to think that made him mean something to her.

"Answer me, Hero," he snarled coldly, tearing her chain of thought in half. 

The hero didn't consider spending any time on thinking of an intelligible response. People weren't logical when they were desperate.  Desperate was the hero's hand cupping the villain's jaw so gently that the shiver up his spine was still awfully intense, even with his numb body. Desperate was staring into the villain's eyes, watching the way his lashes fluttered, as his eyes told a completely different story from the harsh frown on his lips. Desperate was the hero's lips on his cheekbone, warm against his skin, shy, terrified, staying there for a fleeting moment that still felt like too long and retracting away with shame written all over her features. 

"I'm sorry."

Villain's eyes had widened, even though it seemed impossible they could grow any bigger. "I- come closer again," he half-whispered, all the roughness from his voice gone. "Lean down a little." 

And the hero obliged, even though it went against every single thing she'd been taught, and in turn the villain's lips were pressed to her jaw, careful but in no way timid. They weren't supposed to be velvet-soft, and hints of the villain's spicy cologne shouldn't have still managed to be distinguishable through the blood and the sweat. But of course the seemingly impossible was happening. 

"Yes," he answered, "you do scare me, but not in the way that you asked, so I was lying," he continued against the hero's jaw.

And she hated how palpable the relief was when he hadn't licked his lips. 

"This is how you actually kiss someone." The smirk on the villain's face may have been merciless as he pulled away, but it was clear he was trying to break the tension that they could have sliced through with a blade. 

God, the hero could barely breathe. She never knew something that felt almost forbidden could feel so right. She was scared the villain's response had been a trick and more scared that it hadn't. She wanted to scream at him and slam her fists into his body, to split his rose-petal-like lips with a jagged streak of crimson. But more than anything, she wanted him close enough to her that they were breathing each other's air, she wanted to kiss his face again, properly this time, so that it truly felt like something, something that set the hero's nerves on fire.

The hero had pulled out her twin knives, cutting through his ropes with one, while the other remained pressed against his carotid artery, as he still remained sitting on the chair. 

Except the villain had pulled the knife out of her hand, slightly scratching himself, and he got up, twirling the knife with his hand and pressing its cold, flat edge to the hero's jaw, his breath warm on her face. "Don't fight it. That's all you've done, all I've done, and I'm sick of it." 

And in all honesty, so was she. Sick of having no one, sick of wanting someone who was right there and yet so far away, sick of pushing a knife into the skin of the same boy who had bandaged her bleeding knuckles and made fun of the stupid kids' designs etched on them, the only thing he had, the next day after it happened.

The hero nodded, slowly putting her knives away when the villain handed her the other blade back, slinging an arm around the villain's waist, surprisingly small for someone so athletically built, but not any less attractive. 

"Let's go home. I mean, my place," the villain suggested, utterly exhausted, but a hint of a smile was still there in his words as he wrapped his arm around the hero's shoulder, his fingers gripping onto the fabric of her suit a little playfully. 

And the hero simply nodded, mirroring the villain's own soft smile.

Emotions are hard to understand, no rules or logic existent that could ever explain the power they hold over a person; the power that the heart exercises so ruthlessly over the mind. And yet nearly nothing could ever leave one feeling so certain, so absolutely euphoric to the point that not even the entire world would seem to matter compared to the one person love tethers you to. 

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[bewitchedleague]

Kratos, Thor and Odin realizing their feelings for you.

a/n; we start with the first time they, oh so sadly, realized they loved you. sometimes... a God loving someone is nothing but a curse for them.

Kratos

    Kratos would first have no idea of his own emotions. Brushing it off simply because you were traveling with him and Atreus cared for you, which led to him also caring for you. The moment he saw you become hurt for the first time, when he realized you had to rest, and when he felt his heart constrict at the prospect of losing you, he realized what was happening. No, this is not possible. He would be bewildered by his emotions. There was no time in Kratos' life for romance or temptations because he had left that life behind and he would not give in to any desires. He also had to take care of his kid. However, watching you faintly grin at him and advise him to part ways so you wouldn't slow them down on their exploration let him forget all of his fears. It was just... an act of compassion to thank you for everything you'd done for him and his son. He couldn't, wouldn't, leave you to take care of yourself if you were hurt and alone. While out hunting, Atreus would casually touch the matter with his father, shyly expressing his admiration for you as a mother and as a person. Kratos would nod slowly, being careful not to say how he really felt for you, much to Atreus' displeasure. How could he learn to open his heart to love once more when all he allowed himself to indulge in was a gentle touch on your cheek while you were asleep?

Thor

    There must be a joke here. Thor noted that he could feel his own body betray him when you complimented him, sending blood racing to his cheeks and his heart skipping a beat. In order for you to not notice any changes in his attitude, he made sure to maintain his composure and turned his face away from you. However, his atypical thank you, which he murmured very softly and almost in a whisper, revealed his entire play. He would overanalyze the scenario and conclude that you couldn't possibly be able to love someone as similar to him. He would even deceive himself into believing that you were merely being friendly if you ever flirted with him. If he told you "good job on your mission," wouldn't it appear like he was attempting to persuade you into a relationship? He is continuously on edge whenever he sees you and is wary of saying or doing anything that might put you on edge because of his new, developing affections. Wouldn't it appear as though he was attempting to seduce you if he complemented your appearance? To name a few of his thoughts in those circumstances. Little does he realize how much you genuinely adore him; he gives you a yearning glance from a distance and apologizes right away if you ever catch him gazing.

Odin

     Odin experienced fear for the first time in a very long time when he first understood he was in love with you. He despised the unexpected, thus he didn't want this emotion to start developing within of him. He avoided you for a long time, sending you on pointless missions to keep you away from him in the hopes that whatever feelings he had for you would eventually fade away. Persistent feeling, he cursed at himself. Although he could blame you, he didn't want you to face any consequences for what was clearly his responsibility. He wished he had someone to blame other than himself. Odin just couldn't help himself, your personality shined for him, you were like a oasis he had been waiting for all his deserted life - a breath of fresh air. He'd be damned if anyone found out about this, even so when he had so many enemies that were way more powerful than you. The thought would make him uneasy leading to a lack of sleep, making him even more frustrated with himself - how could he fall in love with you? He'd be living a torment inside his head, a conflicting fight between wanting to make you his and protect you from all or letting you go so you had no ties with a God like him. Would you grow apart if you knew he'd choose to be selfish and pursue you?

Do not copy or translate my works.

[hello-nichya-here]

I have a question that might be offensive, and I'm sorry in advance for any hurt it may cause. I've been trying to search for an answer online for a while but I'm not able to find a proper one, and hoped you could help me.

From what I have gathered, autistic people do not wish for there to be a cure for autism, which I understand because well, it would change your brain and the way you view the world. Some even insist it cannot exist (which I'm not so sure about but whatever). My main question is, there are thousands of people out there who are affected by some kinds of ASD so severe that they can never lead a proper life, will never mentally develop beyond a child, and often have to live through agonizing pain and overstimulation. When it comes to these cases, would they not prefer a cure? So wouldn't it be more ethical for a cure to exist, but taking the cure not be compulsory? Those people are obviously not on social media, so their voices go unheard. But wouldn't they and their loved ones not want them to be in pain?

Thanks in advance.

First off, here's why a "cure" is indeed impossible: autism is a neurotype, not a disease. It's not the brain or any organ/system doing something it shouldn't or being damaged by some internal and/or external factor. An autistic brain functions DIFFERENTLY, not DEFECTIVELY, though obviously there is a variety of ways in which it manifests, and it is very rare for an autistic person to be ONLY autistic, there's often one, or more, conditions affecting them at the same time (anxiety, ADHD, schizophrenia, depression, OCD, etc). It is also likely a result of multiple cromossomes working in atypical ways (unlike with Down Syndrome, which is a result of cromossome 21 and ONLY 21 working differently) - and we still don't know which ones, or even how many said cromossomes are.

What does all of that mean for a cure? It means that:

1 - To make an autistic person non-autistic it'd need to be possible to discover it when they're still a fetus and somehow force their brain and entire nervous system to form differently - both things modern science can't do and that we're not sure will EVER be possible.

2 - It is very likely that even if a cure is possible, it will NOT be a one-size-fits-all kind of deal, and it will work on some cases and be useless in others.

So it is already a far, far, FAR more complicated deal than just "If we put enough money, time and effort into it, we can find a cure." Part of the reason why many autistic people are sick of nearly every fucking charity about autism being focused on a cure is because, instead of that money going directly to us or to our caretakers (be it family or any form of hospice/home) and having a very real positive effective, that money goes into searching for a something that might genuinely not be biologically possible.

This is sadly the common history for nearly every group under the large umbrella of Disabled People. Sign Language was discouraged and even made ILLEGAL in some countries long before there were was a reliable, safe way to allow deaf people to hear. There are THOUSANDS of horror stories about people with any form of paralysis or mobility issues being just let root and die in their beds, even after all kinds of mobility aids were invented because "it's a burden to the caretakers" and a "miserable life to live anyway." A disabled athlete in Canada has recently complained about lack of accessibility and was offered EUTHANASIA as a solution because God forbid someone has to build a ramp.

The sad reality is that many non-disabled people are only interested in helping us if the help is guaranteed to make us 100% "normal." If it will gives us a decent, and sometimes fully/mostly independent life, but not make us able-bodied/neurotypical it is NEVER considerd "good enough", and is often talked about as a "set-back for the cure." Giving us ways to communicate our needs, find emotional support, employment, or at the very least multiple sources of aid that will allow our families to not be on "caretaker mode" 24/7 and to not fear what might happen to us once they pass away is considered A SET BACK. Because we're not "cured", but are also not dead.

They're focused on trying to "solve the mystery that will totally lead us to the cure IN THE FUTURE", but never on hearing our VERY basic requests for stuff that would greately improve our lives NOW - Autism Speaks, the largest autism "charity" (hate-group that literally uses "therapy" created by nazis to "help" us) literally popularized the myths that we don't know ANYTHING about autism, how it happens or how to help people with it, and making the "official autism symbol" be a fucking puzzle piece.

The "finding a cure is more important than anything" narrative talks over the needs of EVERY autistic person in existence, including the ones that cannot express their opinion or understand their own condition enough to HAVE an opinon, and yes, including the ones that actively WANT to be "cured."

And speaking of people who do genuinely want to be "cured" of their autism: it is extremely naive of you to think there's any change a cure wouldn't be made mandatory if it existed, and that the choice would be left to the individual, or even to a parent/caretaker on the more "extreme" cases.

Like I said before, things like Sign Language were made ILLEGAL in many countries for the crime of helping disabled have a better life without curing them. We still have cases of doctors operating deaf babies/toddlers without the parents consent. Wheelchair users constantly complain that people just randomly decide to "help" them by pushing their chair towards where they assume the person wants to go, without saying a word to them, without letting them change direction and sometimes even being careless enough to fuck up the chair.

Disabled people CONSTANTLY get called stupid or selfish for not opting for long, expensive treatments that will often only TEMPORARELY make them abled-bodied because being "normal/not a burden" should be more important than anything, including the completely unnecessary and often brutal emotional turmoil of getting used to a "normal" life just go then have to get used to being disabled again. And yes, autistic peoplel, from the completely indepent ones to the ones that need constant care, who have said they would NEVER take a cure for it if one existed, ALREADY get condescending, and sometimes openly hateful, comments about it all day, every day, everywhere. For saying we don't want to take the IMAGINARY pill that can "fix" us.

Our lives are already considered lesser, our opinions are already disregarded, and our bodily autonomy is already denied constantly (see the more "harmless" things like people that think it's funny to force hugs and kisses on those of us who hate most physical contact, to doctors that have injured or KILLED us through unnecessary, often violent means of restraining us during meltdowns). If a cure existed, we'd be straight up forced, or at least constantly pressured, to take it. There's a reason WE are the only ones discussing how unethical it'd be to force us to be "cured", while most neurptypicals have not even heard of that objection, and half would get mad at us for being "ungrateful" - after all, they spent so much time, money and effort on this thing (that we've been rejecting from day one), we can't just refuse it like that!

I know you probably mean well, anon, but the sad reality is that nearly every talk of "curing" autism (and almost anything that is considered a disability) is often rooted on nothing but society's very open disgust and disdain towards our very existence, not a genuine desire to make sure we're safe and happy - and as you can imagine, we're mad that we constantly have to justify our right to be alive and actually listened to, not spoken over by people who are "trying to help" by telling us to shut up and be glad that they're trying to make us "normal."

[ohdeerradiodemon]

(Inspired by this post, I 100% had to add my own thoughts as I adopt this headcanon as well, because it's such an incredible idea! You're a genius @shootinwebs!)

Alastor has (undiagnosed) temporal lobe epilepsy that developed when he was alive (and still has now in his afterlife)

details about the disease and comorbidities that are likely under the cut

Temporal lobe epilepsy developed in Alastor’s early 20s

Was a result of a traumatic brain injury at some point in his late teens

Somewhere between a medial and lateral origin site within the brain, resulting in combined side effects

During a temporal lobe seizure, a person may experience a seizure aura; an aura is an autonomic, cognitive, emotional or sensory experience that commonly occurs during the beginning part of a seizure.

Alastor’s auras may include:

rising epigastric feeling

abdominal discomfort

gustatory and olfactory hallucinations

tingling (somatosensory)

déjà vu and jamais vu

flushing

vertigo

humming/ringing/buzzing sounds in ears

hearing song(s) (particularly ones he tended to play on his show)

A person may then stare blankly, appear motionless (behavioral arrest) and lose awareness. Repeated stereotyped motor behaviors (automatisms) may occur. Alastor’s automatisms include: repeated swallowing, picking, and/or vocalizations. Visual hallucinations can also occur. Loss of awareness may occur (he might not realize he even had a seizure until he comes out of it.) Although, he’s never had convulsive seizures.

Temporal lobe migraines have resulted over time as well

It was never properly diagnosed, as it was something he heavily ignored and didn’t draw attention to at all (therefore it was left untreated)

Psychiatric co-morbidities:

Psychosis/Alice in Wonderland Syndrome

AIWS – episodic, which means it’s not a consistent thing. It can happen randomly, and the instances are few and far between

Type C – including symptoms from both Type A and B (visual/perceptual distortions)

Partial or total macrosomatognosia/paraschematia (a disorder of the body image in which the patient perceives a part of or the entire body as disproportionately larger than it actually is)

Micropsia (viewing objects and the environment around them as much smaller than they actually are) and/or tele- and pelopsia (viewing things as much farther or closer than they actually are)

Lilliputianism (people appearing smaller)

Depersonalization/derealization (a feeling of disconnection from one's own body, feelings, thoughts, and environment. Depersonalization is a term specifically used to express a true detachment from their personal self's and identity)                                                                 

Hearing and time distortions (sound perception - amplification of soft sounds or the misinterpretation of common sounds. Other auditory changes include distortion in pitch and tone and hearing indistinguishable and strange voices, noises, or music. A person affected by AIWS may also lose a sense of time, a problem similar to the lack of spatial perspective brought on by visual distortion. This condition is known as tachysensia. For those with tachysensia, time may seem to pass very slowly)

Personality co-morbidities:

Geschwind syndrome

Hypergraphia is the tendency for extensive and compulsive writing or drawing. Those with hypergraphia display extreme attention to detail in their writing. Some such patients keep diaries recording meticulous details about their everyday lives. In certain cases, these writings demonstrate extreme interest in religious topics. These individuals also tend to have poor penmanship.

Hyperreligiosity - characterized by increased, usually intense, religious feelings and philosophical interests. Some auras include ecstatic experiences. These religious feelings can motivate beliefs within any religion, including voodoun

Atypical or altered sexuality - in approximately half of affected individuals hyposexuality is reported.

Circumstantiality - tend to continue conversations for a long time and talk repetitively.

Intensified mental life - including deepened cognitive and emotional responses. This tendency may pair with hypergraphia, leading to prolific creative output and a tendency toward intense, solitary pursuits

Many of these symptoms manifested in his demon form in his afterlife

He never complained about hearing music during an episode and now everyone gets to hear it too

The other auditory hallucinations manifested as Alastor being something of a living radio in his afterlife, using radio static and music as a way to express himself

He still suffers from seizures in the afterlife and still continues to never draw attention to it unless someone actually catches him having one in which case he plays it off as not being a big deal and being unbothered by it (this is a bold-faced lie)

[gallifreyinstituteforlearning]

Would it be possible for a regeneration to go so horribly wrong that it would leave the person regenerating essentially human? Say, if your gallifreyan were in an extremely psychologically traumatic stiuation and then died an extremely physically and psychologically traumatic death and were already suffering from a deficiency in lindos and artron? (My gallifreyan has a very bad habit of getting themself into horrendously dangerous situations and just barely escaping, and I want to make sure they're safe and don't experience something neither of us are prepared for being a possibility.)

Could a Gallifreyan regenerate into a human?

🌀 The Mechanics of Regeneration

Regeneration is a fundamental part of Gallifreyan biology, allowing a Time Lord to completely transform upon death. However, this process isn't exactly foolproof.

Lindos and Artron Energy: These energies are crucial for a successful regeneration. Lindos energy, in particular, is tied to the lindal gland, which secretes hormones essential for the regeneration process. A deficiency in these energies could theoretically lead to incomplete or faulty regenerations.

Lack of Skill: A lack of skill in handling regeneration could lead to the Gallifreyan regenerating very badly.

Biodata Corruption: In extreme cases, such as significant biodata corruption either before or during regeneration, a Gallifreyan might experience unpredictable changes. This could lead to transformations into non-Gallifreyan forms, including becoming your family dog.

🧠 Psychological and Physical Trauma

Extreme psychological and physical trauma can significantly impact the regeneration process, potentially leading to:

Atypical Physical Forms: While transforming into a completely different species, such as a human, would be unusual, huge trauma could cause significant deviations from typical Gallifreyan forms. However, they would probably still retain some Gallifreyan biological markers.

Mental and Emotional Effects: Severe trauma might also affect the psychological outcome of the regeneration, potentially resulting in personality or cognitive functions that may appear more 'human-like.'

👤 The Human Question

Becoming human would mean losing key Gallifreyan traits such as enhanced senses, inherent telepathic abilities, and crucially, the capacity for further regeneration. While theoretically possible, such a drastic change would be extraordinarily rare and would likely require unique, specific conditions affecting the fundamental aspects of the Gallifreyan's biodata.

🛡️ Safeguards and Precautions

To mitigate the risks associated with the regeneration process and to avoid unintended drastic transformations, the following precautions could be taken for your Gallifreyan:

Energy Reserves: It is vital to ensure that Gallifreyans maintain adequate levels of Lindos and Artron energy as these are critical for a successful regeneration. Regular monitoring and replenishment through controlled exposure to energy sources can help maintain these levels.

Psychological Readiness: Mental conditioning and psychological training can prepare Gallifreyans for the immense changes that come with regeneration.

Genetic Integrity Checks: Regular assessments of a Gallifreyan’s biodata and genetic integrity can pre-empt potential issues. Advanced diagnostic tools could detect and repair biodata corruption before it becomes a problem during regeneration.

Technical Proficiency in Regeneration Techniques: Training Gallifreyans in the art and science of regeneration could significantly reduce the occurrence of faulty regenerations.

Safe Environment: Ensuring that the environment in which regeneration takes place is stable and safe can aid in a successful transformation. This could mean designated regeneration chambers that provide optimal conditions for change.

🏫 So...

While it’s known for regeneration to significantly alter a Gallifreyan, a complete transformation into a human would stretch the bounds of Gallifreyan biology as understood. Such an event would be an anomaly, but it's certainly not impossible.

Related:

What are the four factors of regeneration?: How a regenerating Gallifreyan body might determine its next appearance.

What counts as a safety hazard for regeneration?: Risk factors in regeneration.

Factoid: Can a Gallifreyan regeneration result in an animal body?

Hope that helped! 😃

More content ... →📫Got a question? | 📚Complete list of Q+A and factoids →😆Jokes |🩻Biology |🗨️Language |🕰️Throwbacks |🤓Facts →🫀Gallifreyan Anatomy and Physiology Guide (pending) →⚕️Gallifreyan Emergency Medicine Guides →📝Source list (WIP) →📜Masterpost If you're finding your happy place in this part of the internet, feel free to buy a coffee to help keep our exhausted human conscious. She works full-time in medicine and is so very tired 😴

[leonsobsession]

Leon Kennedy headcannons.

I have done a few of them in the past but I guess we could dive a bit deeper into how I see Leon, taken from his behavior.

~ Trust easily: And oh have he been burned because of that. Leon always want to see the best in people and often tend to trust people too quick.

~ Autistic: Leon has a milder type, atypical autism. He has trouble to catch up on jokes, trouble opening up about his emotions, tend to shut people out when they show too much affection. Note: I have atypical autism and I can see myself in many of his traits and I’m aware it’s trauma but it’s my head cannon.

~ Likes being outside: Leon loves outdoor activities wether it’s biking, walking or even camping. He will ask you occasionally if you want to go camping somewhere.

~ Not very gun-type of guy privately: despite him working with guns, he is a strong believer in anti-violence and would rather see the world be at peace.

~ Loves music: Leon focus best when he’s listening to music and depending on mood, he likes both jazz and industrial music.

~ Baths over showers: Nothings like sinking his body in the bath tub after a long day. Even with some scents and candles lit.

~ Hates mornings: but loves waking up with you. As long as he can snuggle up in the mornings with you, he’s happy.

~ Hard time showing emotions: especially when it’s the negative ones. He don’t often talk about his problems or feelings unless you ask a few times. He knows you do it because you love him.

A few headcannons I had in my head! Idk, let me know if there’s anything in particular you want to see <3

[roses-bah-garden]

hi !! if its not too much of a hassle coukd we have a kawaii esc transjiraikei / trisjiraikei girl ? level 4 or lvl 5 wuld be nice, i dont mind bot getting a playlist or kin list (altho wuld be appreciated if u feel up for it) i just want a moodboard and mayb bonus info . cuteness comes first really. also she has 2 be lesbian cx we're incapable if firming other sexualities. srry for rambling, i love ur accs vibe ଘ꒰づ ﹏ < ꒱ଓ

hi! ty for the kind words about my blog! didn't know anything about jirai kei until doing this ask so hopefully this is up to snuff!

a new flower has blossomed! 🌹

transjiraikei lesbian ... [LVL 5 PACK]

══════════════════

name(s) ;; sonia, misa, kira, leigh, mei, falyn

pronouns ;; she/her, cute/cutes, land/mine, snap/snaps, blood/bloods, shx/hxr, sh3/h3r

age ;; 16

species ;; human

gender(s) ;; demigirl

orientation(s) ;; lesbian

role(s) ;; [a few options...] online protector, depression holder, atypical dysphoria holder

source ;; brainmade / alter pack

sign-off(s) ;; 💊💞, 💣💞

══════════════════

appearance ;; 5'6" and frail. pale skin. freckles across nose and cheeks. shoulder length black hair with bangs. dark brown eyes with thick dark lashes. dresses primarily in oversized hoodies & tights. see below for picrew.

personality ;; soft and shy. shx's quiet and likes physical affection from other girls & women. easily overtaken by emotion and weepy. she used to hide the fact that she struggles with her mental health, but blood is starting to learn how to be open about blood's struggles.

══════════════════

likes ;; hello kitty & my melody, naps, sushi, "sad girl music", doing her makeup

dislikes ;; men, the "clean girl" aesthetic

possible front triggers ;; doing the body's makeup, taking antidepressants [if applicable to sys/body]

══════════════════

cisid(s) ;; cisdepression, cisBPD, cisjapanese, permashy

transid(s) ;; transseverity (depression -> worse), transHPD, transNPD, vanillascentian, transSHscars, permablush, transheartpupils, transyandere

trisid(s) ;; trisjiraikei

kink/fetish/para(s) ;; AAM

══════════════════

moodboard ;; found here

playlist ;; "townie" - mitski / "sweet suicide" - candye syrup / "desire for approval" - needy girl overdose / "your best american girl" - mitski / "wishful thinking" - emilee moore

kinlist ;; misa amane (death note) / toga himiko (my hero academia) / ayano aishi (yandere simulator)

bonus info ;; small cursive handwriting

[attorneys-against-court-violence]

('▽') Happy Autism Awareness Month!

I'm honestly floored I managed to keep this shtick going long enough to celebrate the occasion... even if it is in a fairly odd and obscure way. Nevertheless, good tidings to all, be you autistic or just supportive!

Since this page has a gimmick that I am more than happy to fulfil (and we happen to be in an all too befitting time to do so), allow me the chance to gush about something that has kept the Ace Attorney series and Athena Cykes specifically so thoroughly lodged in my brain.

So, the idea that Athena Cykes is an autistic-coded character is nothing new - it's a popular-enough sentiment in the fandom from what I can gather - but it's one that produced enough interest in me to start an entire page dedicated to collecting thoughts and ideas around this character and any adjacent content. Naturally I have to stop and talk about it for a while, and why it's important enough to me to warrant such a reaction.

Let's start off by setting the groundwork, shall we? Why exactly do I think this? "Evidence is everything" after all!

Buckle your knuckles, there's PLENTY of it to go around!

('◡') Disclaimer: I am about to compare traits of a real-world disability to a fictional character that may or may not have been written as such with any intent or comprehension. In fact...

(°o°) I'm not entirely sure if it WAS intentional or just a consequence of Ace Attorney being a larger-than-life series!

(≻⁓≺) I am liable to make mistakes here!

('◡') So give me a nudge if you think something's off or if I missed an important detail!

Exhibit A - Sensory Processing Issues

Athena Cykes' main "gimmick" in Ace Attorney is a heightened sense of hearing. She is highly sensitive to tone of voice and has better than average hearing overall. It also means loud or grating noises are amplified to the point of being painful to hear(as with opening the door to Tenma Taro's Chamber below).

This trait is often a blessing and a curse for her; it enables her to do things that most of the cast can't, but also proves distressing in cases where noise becomes too much to bear. See Sahdmadhi turning her hearing against her in Turnabout Storyteller.

(⳻_⳺) Dick move by the way!

Abnormal sensory processing - especially hyper-sensitivity - is a symptom of autism likely caused by altered/excessive connections in the brain, effectively over-tuning your ability to process stimuli. A good example of this in reality is being sensitive to the texture of clothes or food, or being more strongly affected by loud noises (similar to Athena here). As with Athena, it can be advantageous, but is more often than not an impairment to our ability to function in everyday life.

Which handily leads us to why this is problem for both the character and anyone with sensory processing issues...

Exhibit B - Overstimulation

Athena was often overwhelmed by her hearing as a child (and even occasionally as an adult, though with a less severe reaction), usually resulting in her breaking down and crying from the abundance of auditory stimulation. She couldn't be in crowds or even attend school for too long without it affecting her. That point especially I'm sure is relatable to most of us with ASD!

She doesn't have the same loud meltdowns in adulthood, and the trauma of UR-1 makes her breakdowns just as understandable without being autistic (though any emotional processing issues wouldn't help!). Regardless, it was a significant enough problem in her childhood to stifle her social development and attendance in education, resulting in a fairly sheltered lifestyle in Metis Cykes' care.

Speaking of Metis, two of her inventions were made with the intent of helping Athena cope with her atypical traits. The first being a set of noise-cancelling headphones that helped dampen the emotional noise her abnormal hearing picked up involuntarily. Granted, it wasn't perfect, but an honest effort was made to help! The other we'll get to in:

Exhibit C - Social Impairment (Withdrawn Behaviour, Emotional Processing etc)

Athena was incredibly quiet and withdrawn as a child, and wasn't good at talking to others when she did speak. She isn't incapable of affection, but it's largely non-verbal. Her mother created and gave her Widget as a way of broadcasting her thoughts & simplifying "emotional noise" to better explain herself to others. As it reflects her thoughts, with most things Widget says being somewhat childish (calling Gaspen Payne an "arrogant jerk" and being generally immature), it can be assumed Athena's thoughts are roughly as mature. Not that her actions are any less so - she often behaves that way as well! We can give her some leverage, being 18-19 in the games she's appeared in, but autistic people tend to have a reputation for acting childish or having childish interests.

This also means we tend to be infantilised by others.

Athena's not much different: see the cop that badgered her over looking like a highschooler and not letting that initial impression go, despite being shown her badge.

Her being 18 and reactionary responses to this obviously weren't helping her image, though it's fair to say we're supposed to be on her side on this.

(The subsequent tossing of said cop I've already discussed, albeit in an older post, and it's not terribly relevant to this one. Onwards and upwards then!)

When she became more extroverted, she shows herself as incredibly transparent in terms of her emotions, often having trouble masking her feelings. Body language is large and loud (this IS Ace Attorney though, everyone's a little obnoxious!) with the closest match in intensity being Bobby Fulbright. Who is perhaps the loudest and most emotional character in the series.

ASD is defined as a developmental and social impairment. People with it are often known for being quiet or otherwise not particularly sociable. It also means we have problems communicating ourselves to others - either due to missing social cues, not picking up on things that aren't explicitly stated, or simply not being able to word ideas in a way that makes sense to others. This also creates problems with emotional processing. It isn't the same for everyone, but in my experience it can be summed up as "your emotions are too big for your body". ie stifled emotional development results in less subtle and more physical displays of one's feelings.

While she has overcome a lot of her shyness and anxiety as an adult, there are plenty of times where she stammers and struggles to get her words out or needs more time to think something over. She often struggles explaining her reasoning for her objections in court even if she's on the right track, that age-old nightmare of having to verbalise your thought-process is a consistent challenge.

Exhibit D - Hyper-fixation/Special Interest

Athena is strongly fixated on analytical psychology, bringing it up at frequency when the opportunity arises. The topic is constantly on her mind and one she's beyond capable of discussing in great detail with little prompting required. It forms the way she views others and the world around her, is her main tool in court, and a framework she often tries to put most things she encounters into.

People with autism get deeply invested in a topic or topics that interest them. More often than not, these topics are something that we can (and will!) gush about for hours on end if allowed to. Unfortunately - due to the next point I'm about to go over - we also tend to get stuck on the subject for long periods of time. Talking about, researching or just thinking about fixations is an enjoyable experience for those on the spectrum. Look at any time Athena Cykes gets to talk psychology and you tell me she isn't enthused every time!

('▽') It's kind of infectious!

But potentially exhausting for anyone who doesn't share the same interests or have enough patience for it. This is why we worry about being annoying about a fixation at times!

Exhibit E - Routine & Repetitive Behaviours

My main evidence here is the Swashbucklers Spectacular - watching it on repeat to the exhaustion of Apollo and staying up late to do so again later that same day. It's an activity she describes as "therapeutic" (which leads to her explaining that animal therapy is a proven type of therapy. When Athena can, Athena will!).

Repetitive or familiar routines/actions are a fairly well-known trait of those with ASD. While it can make them appear monotonous, there's a good chance it's tied to stimulation; since the brain is "over-tuned" to process sensory information, repetitious actions provide controlled & familiar stimuli that isn't likely to bother you. It also means we tend fixate on things that make us happy as mentioned before.

('◡') If anyone relates to listening to just 1 song ad-nauseum, you get what I mean!

(Slight stretch, but her enthusiasm for physical exercise could also fall under this category, as it often involves repetitive motions - think stimming but more rigorous! Running around the courthouse may also be a way of venting excitement/anxiety. Take this with a grain though!)

Exhibit F - Empathy

Had trouble empathising/relating to her mother (though she never made it easy either). Often treated machines like people and thought people could be fixed like machines. A sheltered life on top of a social development impairment handily explains this.

Later, once she became more extroverted, her empathy turns out to have been over-tuned rather than muted. Likely a good reason why she got overstimulated so often, being flooded with people's emotions that, as a child, she did not fully understand.

That said... she does still have trouble telling what's human or not from time-to-time, albeit much less so (despite falling from a box of props, she still mistakes this prop for a human child).

In short, she struggles to relate to other people and humanises non-human objects/machines to an unusual degree. The latter could also be tied to high-empathy; that is, a person with ASD would experience empathy so strongly that it applies to non-human things or animals.

(Admittedly, some of that comes from personal experience; I prefer escorting insects out to killing purely because I don't enjoy the prospect of potentially inflicting great pain trying to kill them quickly and failing. Over-tuned empathetic responses will do that.)

Exhibit G - Masking

An excellent point was raised by @wyrmswears in response to this post. So, in-brief! Athena's perky personality could be a result of masking. It's a term generally used for actions or behaviours taken to "mask" one's personality traits - in this case, to hide behaviours that arise from autism. This is typically done in response to social pressures, as a coping mechanism, or in response to trauma.

Athena feels a great deal of pressure to appear a certain way. We've already covered her conversation with the cop in The Monstrous Turnabout and subsequent events demonstrate that she's very concerned with how she's perceived (heh) by others.

Particularly, she's worried about looking capable and in a way that fits her job as an attorney. This aspect of her character is made apparent and reinforced multiple times early in the game. It also serves to deflect from those anxious thoughts and emotions (though not too well, given her earnestness).

It's worth noting that a focal point of Athena's trauma is not being listened to when she testified to Simon's innocence. As stated earlier, masking isn't just used to hide neurodivergent traits - it can be done for any reason to better fit societal expectations of ones' self. This in mind, I'm happy to concede this as a response to trauma rather than any explicit sign of ASD, even if it fits the interpretation.

Thank you again for calling this to my attention, @wyrmswears!

Exhibit H - Honest to a Fault

We've covered that Athena's emotions are too large for her to hide (on top of Widget's colourful commentary), but characters have noted that she's... very earnest about her thoughts.

On top of the countless examples of Athena speaking her mind, when it isn't exactly the most appropriate time or place, we can safely say she's very likely to just say things as they are.

People with autism tend to have a reputation for being very blunt or literal when speaking with them. Often, this leads to us saying things that are true, but not taken too well by others (though in this case, Dr Crab is a fairly jaded character as it is). Being explicit with your thoughts is something of a mixed bag; bungling a conversation by being too honest isn't a fantastic experience, but it does mean the people who know you know what's on your mind in uncertain terms. With the right people, it can help heaps (and in Athena's case, it can be endearing to the point of going red in the face!).

Being honest to a fault isn't a unique trait by any stretch, though an impairment such as ASD can lead to people not picking up enough social experience to know when to reel it back and approach conversations more tactfully. As with Exhibit G, this is a point that stands with or without this interpretation, though worth bringing up regardless.

Is It Good Representation?

Whew, there's a tricky question if there ever was one. Just keep in mind going forward that what I'm about to say are my own thoughts - you're welcome to disagree or provide evidence of the contrary. It wouldn't be fair if it was just me monologuing at you all day, so let your heart be heard!

Now then, whether I think this is good or not...

Athena is a lot of things in Dual Destinies. She's enthusiastic, but impulsive. She's talented, but fumbles often. She's loud and proud, but is often shut down by her impairment or trauma.

She's put in 7 years of hard work to overcome her shortcomings, but continues to by stifled by them in little (and not so little) ways. More often than not, Apollo and later Phoenix need to be there to support her and spear-head a majority of trials in the game.

I've done my fair share of grumbling about Athena's lack of exposure in what is essentially her story. Case 5-1 helped set the groundwork for her, but didn't set high-hopes for how the character would be utilised and explored going forward. She tends to come across more as the new assistant character rather than a new protagonist or defence-lawyer, and that largely comes down to the fact that she needs so much support to keep afloat. This doesn't change too much in Spirit of Justice, where she's allowed her own solo trial but still had Blackquill step into the assistant role for her (I don't plan to talk much about SoJ here... it doesn't do a lot with her that wasn't covered in DD, save for the confidence boost).

Oddly enough, I'm fine with all that for the most part.

Really, I am!

Let's be fair, she had a lot of developmental issues as a child and had gone through the horror-show that is UR-1 at just 11 years-old. She was emotionally unstable from the start and losing her mother, brother-figure and home in essentially the same day left a gaping wound on an already vulnerable child.

And in 7 years, right at the threshold for adulthood, she has come a LONG way from where she was. Her outgoing personality and empathetic nature have flourished from her continued attempts to break out of her shell. She's picked up on 4 European languages during her time on the continent. Her rigorous study in analytical psychology and law had landed her a career as an attorney at 18! And it all happened because she makes an active effort to overcome her barriers: be it her communication problems or her fear of courtrooms.

But she isn't completely free of it all. She will always be a little confused or will fumble talking to people, and until the end of Dual Destinies, UR-1 continues to have a profound effect on her ability to perform as an attorney.

Let me make this point as clear as I can. Athena Cykes doesn't have constant support from others because she's untalented or stupid. She has support because she needs it.

And that's fine.

That's Cool, but Why Does This Matter?

The reason all this matters to me is that, as an autistic person myself, it's important to recognise that you're going to need help. It's not something you just "grow out of" or "get better from" - it's just part of who you are, both the ups and the downs. Accepting it as a facet of yourself, rather than some demon to be conquered, is important if you want to live comfortably with it.

It's going to sound bloody baffling of me to say, but this character and how they could exist as a representation of an autistic person has helped a little with that. Having a character that is talented and intelligent who is enabled to be so under their own power and with the help of others around them... well, it got to me, as I muddled through what has been a troubling few years in adulthood.

Not one to air my dirty laundry out on the world though, so I'll spare you the details!

For now, I'll leave you with my ultimate summation.

('▽') I just think she's neat. &lt;3

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Petition to change the question from “Are you neurotypical or neurodivergent?” to “What’s your neurotype?” Because if literally any condition you suffer from affects your brain’s ability to function properly, congrats! You are neurodivergent. This includes physical disabilities.

Furthermore, assuming someone is neurotypical just because they don’t have a developmental disability or suffer from a disorder which only affects the brain is wrong.

Maybe they don’t have ADHD, but they do have Multiple Sclerosis, which causes mood swings, fatigue, and difficulty with auditory processing because of a tumor pressing on the emotional center of their brain. The condition affects their mind.

Maybe they don’t have any diagnosable mental health conditions; but they have severe diabetes, which sometimes causes them to be in such a state of mind that they flip tables and chase their loved ones around with belts when their sugar goes low. The condition affects their mind.

Also: Petition to change “neurotypical” to “neuro-asymptomatic,” since the word “typical” means “normal.” I personally object to the term because:

1.) It bears the literal meaning of “having no mental or emotional symptoms is typical or the norm,” which makes having any mental or emotional disabilities sound “atypical” or “weird,” which is harmful to those who are disabled.

2.) The term is a blanket statement often used to make baseless assumptions about people’s mental states just because they have been observed behaving in a specific way. Just because someone is rude to and doesn’t understand autistic people’s body language doesn’t mean they are neurotypical; they could be allistic but still neurodivergent in a different way. Disabled people can be ableist; and a change in the language we use to describe disability may get more people to realize this fact and be more compassionate to others with disabilities other than their own.

3.) Too many people are neurodivergent to call people who aren’t “typical.” Having a condition which affects the mind is honestly less of an anomaly than having no symptoms at all… especially in this day and age which is perfectly designed to cause anxiety and depression at the very LEAST.