#badger asks questions

[lilianade-comics]

My Cheese Melt AU is an alternate series of events beginning in Kindred Spirits (in which Vlad never sends Dani to capture Danny, because he convinced himself that it would be a waste to get rid of a perfectly serviceable clone so quickly, leading directly into him getting so unreasonably attached to her that he forgets all about the original "perfect son" plan) which then turns into a Dani inclusive, family dynamic focused rewrite of season 3. (the fic series starts with spirits less than willing)

Dani is present for certain important canon episodes (currently Eye For An Eye, Urban Jungle, and Living Large are the ones I've fleshed out) but she also gets episodes about her. Such as her first day at school, her obligatory identity crisis episode in which she recruits Sam and Tucker to help find her some hobbies and interests that are sufficiently different from anything Danny or Vlad likes, and Aloha From the Other Side, the vacation episode where her dad breaks Hawaii by simply being Vlad. Overall, she's a sweet kid who hilariously has a better moral compass than Danny and Vlad combined, but she also has INCREDIBLE capacity to be worse than both of them, if the situation calls for it. Her arcs focus on self discovery/identity, the looming threat of destabilization, and her relationships with Vlad and Danny.

Danny's relationship with Dani is more complex in this AU, because he doesn't trust "Vlad's daughter" at all at first. It doesn't help that the first time he meets her is in Eye For An Eye, right after sending the GIW to destroy Vlad's (and Dani's!) house. And now, Vlad is obnoxiously hellbent on replacing him with "Ellie Phantom" as the protector of Amity Park! But after Dani proves she has a mind of her own and hasn't been completely brainwashed by Vlad, and doesn't necessarily approve of his villainy, Danny shifts from animosity more toward concern for her. He knows Vlad well enough to realize that he's inevitably going to break her heart, and Danny is going to be there to protect her when it happens. (But what Danny doesn't know is that Vlad already broke Dani's heart when she discovered the truth about his initial plans for her before they moved to Amity Park. He saved her life in a fit of petulant guilt immediately after to make up for it, which is why she's still with him.)

And then there's Vlad himself. It would be helpful to think of his arc here as less of a redemption arc, and more of a domestication arc. Vlad is still a supervillain and Danny's arch enemy, but because of his parental attachment to Danielle his antagonist status is just as likely to be seen in him hauling Danny back to FentonWorks by the ankles because it's past his bedtime as it is in his latest cringefail brilliant scheme. In general, he finds himself in increasingly mundane situations by virtue of being involved in Dani's life, which generally results in comedy because Vlad is anything but equipped to handle parenthood (or mundane situations) normally. He's also allowed to have a rare reflective moment now and again and generally be a little more layered than just a villain. There's also increased opportunity for temporary allyships, because Vlad and Danny agree on Only One Thing: Dani is to be protected at all costs.

[shiftwux]

RAHHHHHH THE WAR!!!!!!!!!!!

[skeletalheartattack]

If you jouned a 7 sin thrmed group what sin qould you beee?

i'd be the brand new 8th sin: this thing

[alasarys]

I think Lando would be a good hugger because he has massive hands, look how much of Daniel's lower back it covers

Anon, I am with you on this.

And it's not just how much of him he covers – although he does and it makes me feel things – it's the how he covers him. It's the 'you're okay, I've got you' way he moves his arm to hold Daniel closer. It's the little reposition of his hand, almost-but-not-quite rubbing Daniel's back. It's the reassuring flex and squeeze of his fingers, just starting to curve around Daniel's side.

Lando Norris definitely gives good hugs.

[solalunar-eclipse]

Sonic Boom - S3E13

Chapter title: Schrödinger's Hedgehog, Part 2

Summary: The truth about Shadow is revealed, and some problems are solved…while others are made worse. Will a team of five emotionally inexperienced people be able to do what needs to be done?

AO3 Link

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[This episode begins without any kind of a cold open, jumping directly into the introductory sequence.]

[Shadow is not present in the part with the rest of the heroes, but their team shot is still structured as if he were there, making the absence very noticeable.]

[Instead, he appears in his old villain intro, with just his stripes and angry eyes visible. However, after a second or two, his eyes change into a much more nervous expression, and dart around briefly.]

[Then, the rest of the sequence continues, complete with the episode title at the end.]

…

When Tails had called the others, they’d all rushed into his workshop immediately, fearing the worst. “What’s wrong, Tails?” Amy had cried. Sonic, somehow, didn’t say a thing. Instead, he darted over to Shadow, clearly concerned for his rival-turned-friend.

What they found, however, was something far stranger than what they had expected.

At Sonic’s gasp, all five teammates gathered around Shadow, staring at his exposed hand. It didn’t look like anything they’d seen before—in fact, it barely resembled any of their own, except in general shape.

Starting from the middle of Shadow’s forearm, his black coloration ended and a strange silicone material began. It was a dull and semi-transparent grey (except for his arm stripe, which was pale red), with wires threaded throughout it, weaving around a central piston that extended up into the rest of his arm. His hand was made of the same silicone, and contained five segmented metal bars that extended through each of his fingers in place of the usual hand structure. They ended in five wickedly sharp steel claws that looked as though they could slice through Eggman’s badniks like they were made of warm butter.

Everyone stared until Sticks broke the silence. “He’s been replaced by a robot!” she screamed. “Who knows who they’ll come for next?!”

“Oh, don’t be silly, Sticks. What I want to know is, since when has Shadow had a prosthetic hand?” Amy asked, confused.

Tails frowned. “I don’t know, but however he got it, this is a seriously advanced piece of machinery. It almost perfectly mimics a real hand!”

While Amy and Tails discussed this revelation, Sonic eyed the way the piston in Shadow’s arm seemed to extend past what he could see somewhat suspiciously. Sure, maybe that was how prosthetics worked and he just didn’t know it, but something wasn’t quite adding up to him.

Running on that gut feeling, he pulled off Shadow’s other glove…

…to reveal a second synthetic hand underneath.

A momentary silence fell as everyone stared again.

Knuckles blinked. “So was Sticks right about him being replaced by a robot?”

“I don’t know about replaced, that just doesn’t feel right, but maybe…aha!” Tails exclaimed. “My scanners were calibrated to organic material, not inorganic! Let me try again.”

The entire team waited with bated breath as Tails’s machinery began to analyze Shadow one last time. The loading bar on the screen seemed almost excruciatingly slow as it ticked upwards a centimeter at a time.

And then, there was a map of Shadow’s insides for everyone to see. 

It still didn’t make perfect sense, since there were large parts of Shadow simply listed as “unidentifiable material”, but now it was perfectly clear that he didn’t have one (or even two) prosthetic arms. Shadow was, somehow, an android. An android with Ancient markings on some of his frame, to boot.

Tails looked torn between freaking out in shock and freaking out in excitement. “Chaos, that actually makes perfect sense!” 

“Uh…what makes perfect sense, bud?” Sonic asked.

“You guys remember how Shadow knew all this stuff about the Ancients—like with your mech, Sonic? Well, a while back,  Amy and I discovered that Mighton and Bolts are actually Ancient robots with ridiculously advanced AIs.”

“Oh yeah! Plus, now that I think about it, he seemed kinda awkward earlier when we were all talking about our opinions on robots.” Sonic added.

“So what I think is, since the robots of Roboken are so…lifelike, mentally, why couldn’t the Ancients have made a robot that looks like us as well as thinks like us?” the engineer finished.

“Why would they want to do that?” Amy asked. 

Tails shrugged. “I dunno. Maybe just because they could?”

“But how does any of this help us fix him?” Knuckles said, looking upset.

“Because…” the fox said proudly. “I may not know how to fix people, but I sure know how to fix robots!”

The entire team cheered at that, even Sticks.

“Alright!” Tails declared. “Guys, I need all of you to go back to Shadow’s cave and find anything that might help me fix him. Meanwhile, I’m going to hook him up to my computers and see what else I can figure out.”

“On it!” Sonic said, saluting. He rushed out the door with everybody else in tow, leaving Tails alone in the lab.

With an unconscious, highly advanced robot who also just happened to be his semi-friend. 

“This is one of the best days of my life.” he whispered.

Fifteen minutes later, once he’d managed to access Shadow’s brain wirelessly, his computer crashed.

(And so did his mood. At least temporarily.)

Tails sighed, rewiring some ports in the back so that all of his various devices could share processing power. Then, he tried rebooting it and reconnecting it to Shadow. 

Immediately, he received about twenty different error messages, including a [Files Incompatible: Open anyway?] request. 

He selected [Yes] hesitantly, and then gasped as row after row of files filled his screen. Most of them were names he didn’t even understand…because they were all written in Ancient. 

Tails scrambled for the original and translated copies of the robot manuscript that Amy had made him, hoping that he could use them as a sort of decoding mechanism for what he saw on screen. Thankfully, they did indeed make it a little easier to understand the writing—and the parts he could read were all incredible.

Shadow had an absolutely insane amount of files just for his sense of smell, let alone his optics and auditory sensors. And that wasn’t even touching his actual cognitive programming. 

Once he’d finished geeking out, Tails ran a full diagnostic of Shadow’s body, and discovered the problem. The house had fallen on him in the right position to somehow…disconnect some of his processing capability? It didn’t entirely make sense, and Tails spent the next few minutes deep in thought.

Suddenly, he came to a realization. Very slowly, he clicked on the file labeled with what he hoped was the Ancients’ version of ‘opacity’, and crossing his fingers, he turned the slider contained within most of the way down.

And with that, the entirety of Shadow’s ‘fur’ faded to the same dull, transparent grey and pale red. 

Beneath the rest of his silicone body, endless wires and metal framing lay. Even his eyelids were transparent (and Tails thought it was slightly creepy to see him staring blankly through them, if he was being entirely honest). And in the center of his body pulsed a bright blue crystal.

Looking closely, Tails could see that one of the clamps attaching a wire to the crystal had completely broken, leaving the wire detached. He knew at a glance that it wouldn’t match any of the clamp types he had—it was a completely unique make.

Unfortunately, that meant that all he could do now was wait for his friends to come back.

…

The other four were all busy searching through the boxes in Shadow’s cave, hoping to find something that matched what their engineer friend had seen inside him. Nothing seemed to fit the picture Tails had sent, though, and they were all starting to lose hope.

Sonic wandered throughout the cave, past the place where they’d found the mech. Only a little farther along, a rough bedroom was set up, and it made Sonic a little sad to see how poorly Shadow was living even compared to Knuckles these days.

Then, he noticed the corner of another cardboard box poking out from underneath the bed. Scrambling forward, he pulled it out, barely noting the carefully lettered label: Emergency Parts.

“Guys!” he yelled, already digging through the electronics. “Guys, I think I found it!” The others gathered around him just as he held up a clamp triumphantly, and Amy quickly matched it to the picture Tails had sent.

It was perfect.

Immediately, they all raced back to Tails’s workshop, the blue hedgehog making no effort to be gentle as he slammed the entire box down on the table. “Can you fix him?” Sonic asked, looking over at the android nervously. 

“I think so?” Tails said hesitantly. “I spent some time searching through his command files and found a couple things that might help.”

He pressed a button, and a section of Shadow’s silicone covering pulled back to reveal his internal wiring. Carefully, Tails pulled out the broken clamp with his fingers (since there was no tool that matched the ones the Ancients had used) and replaced it with the new one. Then, the engineer pulled out some of his most delicate tools and gently reset the wire in its housing. 

After a moment of careful inspection to make sure nothing was out of alignment, as well as a quick voltage check, Tails set the silicone covering back in place and sat back with a sigh. “We’ll just have to hope that he’ll be able to fix the rest on his own from here.” he said quietly, watching Shadow’s still body along with the others.

…

>>System malfunction: Corrected_

>>Rebooting_

Shadow gasped, sitting bolt upright. 

He took a trembling breath, out of habit more than anything else. Looking around, he saw that he was in Tails’s (currently empty) lab. He relaxed marginally at that—so he was among friends. Good. 

…Immediately afterwards, he remembered to feel embarrassed about how easy it was for him to feel safe around the other five these days.

Now then, what was he doing here? The last thing he remembered was saving that little girl from the house, and then everything went dark. As he looked around, however, he suddenly found that feeling of safety ripped right out of his head—

—when he noticed that his coloration had been dialed down to only twenty-five percent opacity. No matter whether it had happened during his injury, or afterwards here in the lab, it meant that the team knew.

As Shadow looked around with increasing terror, automatically running a self-diagnostic, he noticed that one of his clamps was registered as having been recently replaced. That must’ve been what knocked me out, he noted faintly. The most terrible part of all of it, though, was the fact that there were files filling up the entirety of Tails’s screen.

His files. The files that made up the personality of the creation named Shadow.

How long had they been looking through his head?!

Shadow terminated the connection instantly, his eyes flashing with a mixture of hurt and fury. And here he’d thought he could trust these heroes. They’d called him their friend. He scoffed to himself furiously, ignoring the betrayed pain building up inside him. He had been a fool. 

And it was then that Tails appeared at the door.

The android bared his teeth defensively, leaping off the table and into a fighting stance.

“Guys?” Tails squeaked. “I…I don’t think Shadow’s happy with me…”

Suddenly, the rest of the team piled into the room, making Shadow take a sudden step backwards. 

“You okay, Shads?” Sonic asked worriedly.

“Do you need anything?” Amy added.

Shadow snarled at them, his shoulders hunching. “Liars. Traitors! Don’t bother pretending you all still like me.”

“What?” Tails said, his eyes widening.

“You heard what I said!” he barked. “I know you all rifled through my head like a—a storage cabinet! Did you like what you saw? Was it fun?”

“No! No, Shads, we didn’t look at anything, except what we needed to fix you! We’d never!” Sonic cried, visibly taken aback.

“Sure.” he scoffed. “As if I’d believe that now.”

And with that, he vanished.

…

The team scoured the entire island in search of Shadow, but he was always one step ahead of them. After several hours of searching, they were forced to take a break, regrouping at Amy’s house.

“How does he keep on escaping?” Knuckles sighed, currently collapsed on the couch.

Tails frowned. “As long as his power source doesn’t die, he can theoretically keep going at the same pace for as long as he wants. We just can’t match up to that kind of persistence.”

Sonic began to type on his communicator even more quickly than usual, belying his stress. “Well, we might not be able to, but I know someone a little more experienced than us who could find him.”

“Nobody’s a better tracker than me!” Sticks cried.

“You are the best tracker we have…but you’re tired right now, and we need more people with different skills to find him.” Amy pointed out.

“Fine.” the badger huffed. “So who’s he calling?”

Sonic watched his communicator intently as three flashing dots appeared on the messaging app. “Someone who owes me a favor.”

Several minutes later, Vector kicked the door open. “Never fear, the Chaotix Detective Agency is here!” he cried.

“Agency?” Amy asked skeptically. “There’s only one of you.”

Vector smirked. “Well, sure. Last time you saw me, there was! But I’ve been asking around, putting up some ads on ConnectIn, and I managed to find these guys!” He stepped aside to reveal a chameleon dressed in stereotypical goth clothing and a hyperactive bee.

“He didn’t actually find either of us on ConnectIn.” the chameleon added. “I sought him out, and he just stumbled upon Charmy over there by pure chance.”

“Ohhhh wow, are you guys the heroes Vector told me about?” Charmy gasped, flying all around them excitedly. 

“Yeah, they are. But right now we’re on the job, got it, pal?” Vector said, gently pulling the kid back to his side.

“Got it!” Charmy chirped (and then immediately grinned at the team the moment Vector looked away).

“Yeah, so this is Charmy, our resident scout, air support, and mascot,” Vector explained, “and this here is Espio. He’s got some cool ninja skills, so he helps me out too. A lot, if I’m being honest.”

The chameleon promptly turned invisible, making the other five gasp. “So cool…” Knuckles whispered. 

Espio then reappeared, now with a slight blush on his face. “Thanks.” he said quietly.

“Now then, just sit back and relax!” Vector said cheerfully. “We’ll find your guy in no time, I promise!”

…

‘No time’ turned out to be exactly three hours and twenty-two minutes. During that time period, Amy managed to stress-bake two batches of banana muffins, Tails and Knuckles half-heartedly played a board game, Sticks was busy hiding the banana muffins in various ‘apocalypse caches’, and Sonic wore a circular hole in the rug.

All five of them nearly hit the roof when the Chaotix called Sonic’s communicator.

“Hey, Sonic!” Vector said. “Listen, we found your guy, but we have one tiny problem.”

“Yeah? What is it?” Sonic asked, his foot tapping rapidly.

Espio appeared in the picture. “He’s camped out in an old Ancient ruin, and he’s switched all of the defenses on. I was the only one who could get within forty feet without laser cannons trying to blast me to bits.”

“And we didn’t sign up to get blasted to bits!” Charmy chimed in.

“I, uh, I hope this won’t affect our payment?” Vector added hopefully.

“No way!” Sonic said hurriedly, eager to get on with things already. “I called you guys in to find him, not to bring him back here. Just send us the coordinates and we’ll call it all square, okay?”

Vector grinned. “It’s been great doin’ business with ya, Sonic! If you ever need something found again, just remember us and we’ll help you out!”

In the background, they could hear Charmy singing something that sounded an awful lot like “Team Chaotix! They’re detectives you want on your side!”

“Thanks so much, Vec. See ya!” Sonic said, signing off.

“Alright.” Amy said, punching a fist into her other hand. “Now all we have to do is get Shadow back.”

“That’s easier said than done.” Tails said, looking nervous. “I just got the coordinates, and this is a temple nobody’s even discovered before. It could be really dangerous.”

“Oh yeah? We can handle dangerous!” Knuckles said cheerfully.

A montage ensues in which the team prepares for the ordeal ahead. Tails gathers up all of his equipment, while Sticks does the same with their homemade monitoring devices. Amy smashes a few targets with her hammer, Knuckles practices his burrowing form, and Sonic adds some extra sports tape to his ankles.

Then, the scene cuts to the team approaching the ruins. They smile confidently and begin to charge in an epic slow motion shot—only to end up screaming and running back in the other direction when the laser cannons start firing.

“Alright, scrap the ‘Epic Hero Entrance’ plan.” Sonic wheezed. “Tails, you go ahead and disable the cannons. The rest of us can wait until you’re done.”

The fox dashed across the field, his tails whirring at top speed. After a few tense minutes, in which he was forced to work while plastered against the wall to stay in the cannons’ blind spots, he stuck out his hand with a thumbs-up as the machinery deactivated.

Knuckles inched out onto the field carefully, and when he wasn’t immediately turned into a scorch mark, the others followed behind him. Tails managed to open the doors not long after they reached his position, and they all braced themselves for the trials ahead. 

Next up was a…completely empty hallway?

At least, it seemed that way until Sticks held up their hand, sniffing the air warily. After a moment, they blew chalk dust into the hall, revealing the laser beams that crisscrossed the way forward. Carefully, the badger dodged each and every beam until they made it to the other side, their foot automatically pressing a panel that deactivated the beams.

After that, there was a memory matching puzzle that ended up being solved by Amy, which took her a few tries to get right. As soon as she finished, she did a quick celebratory dance—before remembering that she was supposed to be the serious one, and if any of you think about mentioning that ever again, first remember the ten out of ten targets I hit with my hammer earlier. 

Then, they were faced with a few riddles that Knuckles got right with his oddly specific riddling skills, and then (of course) a giant labyrinth with about twenty different hallways spiraling off it in every direction imaginable. Yes, that did include one pointing directly upwards. Sonic sped through each and every path until he found an exit that didn’t lead to a pit of flames, a pit of snakes, a spike trap, a pit of piranhas, or any other kind of murder-inclined pits. Then, he shot off a guided flare that Tails had provided to show the way, and the rest simply followed the glowing trail directly to him.

Carefully, they all lined up, staring down into the darkness ahead. A faint light emanated from the end of the hall, showing them the way they hoped would lead to their missing friend.

[screen fades to black]

[This time it’s Tails complaining. “Aw, come on! Another cliffhanger? We’re almost to the best part!”]

[roll credits]

[ask-the-toy-box]

Who would win in a fight between lord Drakkron and Sticks the badger?

Cake walk

[the-badger-mole]

Fic ask: 15 and 17?

Please ☺️

Ask and receive. I answered both of those here

[teddiibear444]

Thinking about lil kin mems,,

[fungi-maestro]

I still can't fathom how Vic has had three love interests for over 50 years he has existed. He's so weird he should not be fucking.

LMAO? You're right, honestly. He is so weird. I think he's full of red flags, personally, and yet somehow people keep falling for his strange demeanor and weird behavior...... Maybe there's hope for us all.

[blueiight]

i guess show-only people only got into the story from these set of actors so I get it, its not like they have existing affect for these characters. I'm trying to not let it affect my excitement for season 2 but then I imagine if jacob got recast I would 100% stop watching the show completely so i can't entirely judge ppl who feel that way about bailey's claudia.

I mean its not like they was big timers anyways i think the ‘most famous’ of the actors in the eyes of the gp was jacob + its only cuz he was in the dragon show… unless u was frl into who was coming out of the theaters or individual actors idg wppl mean by ‘the actors brought them in’ but thats their prerogative& i dont see much wrong w that being their personal motive. if u dont wanna watch no more all power to u! however u deal w ur hobby in media is fine n thats not for me to come at a specific blog or anybody for doing so. my issue is when ppl come to my blog& start saying they wont care about delainey’s claudia or form negative impressions on her w/ zero evidence to sway them in either direction solely bc of the executive decisions made w bailey. like thats not delainey’s fault n is completely unfair to delainey. thats my only point. be open minded. idk whats w the underlying assumption here i never said people cant feel some type of way about bailey bass’s claudia being gone like i say time+ time again how much i loved bass’s role n what she brought to the character to the point that i thought it was an. april’s fools but my point is u have to make do w the situation we’re in. theres no situation where jacob anderson or anybody else was recast so far so i feel like doing what ifs on whos next thats getting into baseless hypotheticals.

[hiraethwrote]

Imagine trying to escape an annoying ex who just will not leave you alone. And one day, around lunchtime, you’re so unlucky as to run into them in a cafe. They start badgering you about grabbing a bite together when you just blurt out “I’m actually here on a date!”

They instantly start grimacing and asking all sorts of questions about who this might be, causing you to panic. “Aah, there he is!” You desperately grab the arm of the next person to enter the cafe, hoping they’re able to read the situation and then have the decency to play along.

That random individual is no other than Satoru, who looks absolutely baffled by the abrupt encounter. His eyes darts between your ex and you, pleading with your eyes to help you out.

It takes him less than a second to make up his mind, slinging his arm over your shoulders and flashing your ex a smug grin — and then he commits wholeheartedly to the bit. He starts lying through his teeth about how much he enjoyed your last date, that he just picked up that book you recommended and he thought you might want to go to a botanical garden for your next meeting.

Eventually, your ex has had enough of the sight and leaves the cafe — you exhale deeply and relief washes over you. And once you begin to thank the stranger, he notices just how pretty you are. Kind eyes, a warm little smile that lingered after having laughed along to his performance, and a frame that simply seems to fit next to him.

The little unexpected interaction has caused you to run late. Rushing out a million little thank you’s, before pulling out your wallet. You pay for what you came for, then hand him some cash, “I’d love to pay for your lunch but I have to run. So just, take this, thank you again!” You chuckle lightly before quickly backing out of the cafe.

In your hurried haze, Satoru barely gets a word in. What really bothers him, is how he never managed to get your name before you’re out of there, and from that moment you’re stuck on his mind.

©hiraethwrote 2024 . all rights reserved. reposting, translating and otherwise plagarisim is prohibited

[ehgood-enough]

My coworkers are pisisng me off today

Like let’s try fucking reading and using our words

I promise you it will make your life a lot easier

[raeathnos]

.

[ikiprian]

Ghost Kitchen (brought to you by criminal entrepreneur, Red Hood)

Danny’s got the easiest job in Gotham.

He works as a fry cook at a shoddily-run, independent burger joint. Hardly anyone comes in, despite prices being criminally low, and portions insanely large, and while the manager looks like the average tough-as-nails ex-con, he lets Danny mess around in the kitchen whenever the place is empty. (Which is often. This place has to be the city’s hidden gem or something!)

Mr. Manager’s the only one ever there with Danny, except for sometimes when his buddies come over to smoke and play cards. Danny would find it shady, except part of his job is not to ask questions. Literally, he was told during the interview.

(It was a weird interview. Why would they need to hire someone who’s been in a gunfight before? Like, he has, but Gotham’s idea of “hirable qualities” is so bizarre.)

So instead he whips up some killer burgers with the frozen ingredients, and basks in the praise as the guys tell him he shouldn’t have, he does too much for this joint, ain’t that friendly!

Now, Danny’s a chef on the newer side. As a teen he’d preferred the look of Nasty Burger over anything with Michelin stars, and he only really took up cooking after Jazz moved out for college. But just like ecto-exposure used to turn the groceries sentient, Danny’s low-level ecto signature imbues all his food with something historically haunted Gothamites just love! And Danny’s never been one to half-ass a job when it makes people happy.

With fresher produce, real meat, Danny’s sure he can take his dishes to the next level. It takes a couple months of badgering, but his manager finally agrees to contact the mysterious store owner, who keeps the place going, despite profits Danny knows have to be in the red.

Danny spends the morning prepping. He pours his heart into his food, eager to impress. The big boss will be here soon, and he wants to prove that despite the dangerous location, this place has real potential!

It isn’t until the Red Hood shows up that Danny realizes he’s been working for a money laundering scheme.

[maspers]

Imagine Thomas and Martha Wayne getting resurrected via whatever the bullcrap of the week is, and it NOT getting undone once the conflict is over. Bruce and the kids are experiencing All The Emotions but Thomas and Martha are just happy to be there and are wholeheartedly rolling with it.

"The Waynes are a superhero family now? That's amazing! Martha, isn't it amazing?"

"Yes, dear. So much better than the organized crime we used to do. Oh, don't worry Bruce, we really only did it out of obligation, we would have jumped to vigilantism long ago had we known it was an option."

"Martha, we have grandchildren! They're adorable!"

"Thomas you've already met most of them."

"Yes but now I can appreciate them! And spoil them!"

"Thomas, honey, if you actually act as an enabler for our grandbabies I think you'll end up giving our poor Bruce a heart attack."

"Damian has a sword Martha! A sword! We have swords in the family! This is wonderful!"

"I know, Thomas."

Thomas has to be physically restrained from learning how to be a vigilante. He's too old, and Bruce and the rest don't want him to die *again*. He can help Alfred. Doesn't stop him from badgering his grandchildren about their hobbies. Ostensibly it's because he wants to get to know them better, but they all know he just really wants to learn how to do the cool things they all do. He's banned from using the Batcomputer at least thrice.

Martha at first seems content to just sit in the house and play the role of old-fashioned housewife but one day she inexplicably appears in Jason's apartment, supposedly to return one of his guns after he dropped it. He could have sworn it was fully loaded when he lost it, and now it's empty. Martha's fingerprints are the only ones on the gun. He decides to not ask questions.

They both neglect to inform the high society of Gotham that they're alive, and it takes a while for them to realize this. Gradually every rich person in Gotham takes their turn having a breakdown over having to deal with even more Wayne bullcrap. How come the Waynes are the only ones that seem to be immune to death???

[bet-on-me-13]

Danny runs for Mayor

Simple Prompt: Danny runs for the Gotham Mayor position

Extended Prompt: Danny is an absolute little shit throughout his entire campaign but still manages to win because he is legitimately one of the best candidates around

Just imagine the crack that could come from this!

Reporter: What is your stance on Vigilantism? Danny: Well I agree that Vigilantes are helpful for the communities that need them, and they should work with the police at every opportunity, I feel like the idea will always be a city where Vigilantes are not needed. Also I fail to see the relevancy of the question, there are no vigilantes in Gotham Reporter: What do you mean? What about the Bat-Family? Danny: No, Batman isn’t a Vigilante. Batman is a Crime Lord.

Or

Danny: As mayor, I promise that I will not be infected by corruption. Not because of my moral standings, but because I absolutely fucking hate clowns and I will never accept a bribe as long as that guy is still alive. Yes this is me putting a hit out on the Joker. Crime Bosses, if you want to try and bribe me, you gotta kill him first or I won’t even consider it!

Or

Batman: Why is a Meta-Human running for Gotham Office? You know this city doesn’t have a very good track record with people like you. Even the Signal had a rough start. Danny: Well, I just had a strong compulsion to help this city reach the peak of it’s potential *looks over Batman’s shoulder to see Lady Gotham holding up Cue Cards telling him what to say. She promised to help with his paperwork for the next 50 years if he became Mayor and helped fix her city* Danny: Such a strong compulsion...

Or

Penguin: Look kid, I don’t care if you have enough power to destroy me at the subatomic level, I have enough money to ruin you, your sister, your parents, even your uncle! Danny: Oh really? I could get the souls of every person you have ever killed to get confessions out of them. Or I could give them the power to rip you apart. Or I could even just possess you and donate all your money to charity.

Or

Danny: Oh god dammit! Vlad: Hello Badger! Glad to see you followed in my footsteps instead of your fathers! Danny: This wasn’t because of you! Lady Gotham asked for help! Vlad: A WIN IS A WIN!