#bc that one is really something. and this one only involves two ppl. way easier

[10hourshift]

wow look! A picture of a totally normal family :D!

(NOT for the week event xd. This is kind of a cut content situation)

Ya these are owynn's parents lel. They are Zoe and Harry Cooper.

Uhh they had been together for a long while before owynn was even born for convenience (Harry gets better payment if he's married, Zoe gets her family off her back if she's married)

Though they aren't really ~happy~ in their marriage, they also aren't exactly doing ~bad~ so they never saw the need to divorce or anything. Until they were in their thirties and thought "hey, maybe having a baby could bring us together as a couple". Spoiler alert: it didn't.

Neither of them was really into taking care of some baby that now lives with them (it is their bio kid btw). So they literally gave baby Owynn the most bare bones attention and care that a baby/kid could ever need*, and this totally doesn't mess up Owynn's perception of love or anything.

*barely enough to not be child abuse

They are still 'together' btw. They say they are in an open relationship but neither of them ever gets another partner or anything, so ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠⊙⁠_⊙⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I interpreted the "adaptation from the manga" thing to imply that they'll animate the 3 Yuus (like you said) but my partner proposed smth to me that raised my concerns... what if they only animate Yuuka? or like- default to a female Yuu? I could see that bc it would be probably easier for them to have only one protagonist.

don't get me wrong I like Yuuka and I know a lot of TWST fans are women but since the studio involved is apparently known for shojos I'm scared they'll make it seem like the story is romantic/the game is an otome... Which I mean- we do have SOME fanservice stuff but it's definitely not a romance story. That's why I'm scared 😭 if they do go that path... I much rather prefer the disconnection (?) of having 3 different Yuus than the possibility of this...

Also I'm just 🥲 I'm scared ppl will see that and say ahhh So Yuu has always been a woman!! Because as a trans guy, one thing that rlly made me feel valid in a way was seeing that in the game Yuu has no gender at all... I don't go by they/them but I'd much rather be referred as that than to be misgendered. It's a small thing but it's such an important detail for me (the fact that Yuu is gender neutral/can be whatever u want them to be) that it being erased in the anime would make me pretty sad... even more if ppl take the anime as "confirmation" of Yuu's gender, which it wouldn't be regardless if they end up giving us a girl OR guy Yuu- it would just be another Yuu interpretation different from the game.

But yeah, personal stuff aside, I'm more scared by the possibility of them making it seem like it's a romance story 😭 or ppl calling TWST an otome... which I mean... some people already have that misconception, even some fans...

[Referencing this post and this news!]

I definitely think they're probably leaning towards a new Yuu every season; otherwise, there would be a very uneven distribution of screen time for one Yuu over the others, and that leads into the problem of one Yuu being "more" canon than the rest. Yes, it will probably be easier logistically speaking to keep the same Yuu for the entire anime--but I also said the same thing when we only had the Episode of Heartslabyul manga, and look what happened with that. We ended up getting Yuuka and Yuuta following Yuuken, regardless of the logistical inconvenience of it all. I think if the anime intended to have a singular Yuu to follow for the main story, they would have chosen to adapt the light novel (which has Yuuya across multiple volumes) instead of the manga. The conscious decision to adapt the manga (with changing Yuus) says something to me. So really, I don't think we have to worry about one "kind" of Yuu dominating the anime. I took a look at the portfolios of the two studios collaborating for the Twst anime and didn't see a ton of shoujo myself. There was definitely a handful of them, but overall there was a spread of genres. I think Yumeta Company (one of the studios) has Tokyo Mew Mew New under its belt, which is probably one of its better-known works and maybe that's where the "they're known for doing shoujo" allegations are coming from? Don't quote me on that, though. I'm not someone who closely follows anime studios.

I would, however, like to point out that we shouldn't put all our stock into the studios behind the anime. Yes, they are obviously animating the project and thus have an influence on how the final product is. However, there are tons of other people involved (like the script writer) that will dictate how the anime looks and feels. (In fact, the script writer for the Twst anime, Kato Yoichi, is not known for writing shoujo.) I highly doubt all the staff involved at every possible level of production are conspiring to make Twst a genre it's not. (Related: I blame socialization for this, but it's a little sad that most of us by default think one woman + a bunch of men in a cast must be romantic.)

Now, to your main point. I understand the initial fear of people misunderstanding Twst as a dating sim/otome from how it is presented. Really, I do. I also understand the frustration that comes with people claiming Yuu's identity or gender or what have you is "confirmed". But to that, I ask you: so what? And I don't mean that in a "your feelings aren't valid" way (because your feelings are very valid!) I mean in like... Do these misconceptions others have truly impact your own enjoyment? Do the people believing in these falsehoods erase what you know is the truth? I would wager it doesn't. There has been and always will be those who see Twst or interpret Yuu as something they are not. Lots of us (myself included) thought Twst was an otome game when they first heard of its concept. People claimed Yuuken was the definitive Yuu when the first chapter of the manga dropped. That's fandom, especially the larger they get. If we fixate on those sore spots, it will ultimately make us unhappy because there will never be an end to misunderstandings. I would advise that you try and detach from those worries and just focus on having your own fun in the fandom rather than worrying about how others are consuming or reacting to Twst. Yes, we want Twst, a franchise we've seriously been invested in and love, to be seen a certain way--but I don't think that should come at the cost of your enjoyment. Fandom is meant to be fun, and we don't want to make ourselves miserable by stressing over the "what ifs", you know? Please focus on yourself!!

[buttercupsbitch]

this is as close as i can get to screaming into the void bc i like having proof of my thoughts and feelings so i can go back later and dissect them but don’t like posting on insta bc ppl actually know me there so here goes

my bf told me last night that i’m “his only goal” and like. i need drop some lore real quick.

i have always felt like the second choice. not on purpose. no one has ever Made me feel like that on purpose, i’ve got amazing friends and family but i’ve got younger and older siblings, my two best friends knew each other for years before they met me, i’ve always felt like Too Much. like people wouldn’t really care if i was there or not. and, sometimes when the mental health does its thing, like peoples lives would be easier if i wasn’t as involved. again this is strictly my sick brain and not peoples actions that make me feel this way.

but i’ve never mentioned this to him bc i haven’t felt like that in a while honestly. i still have bad days but the good have far outweighed them recently so it’s easier to keep myself from spiraling. he doesn’t know what those words mean to me. sure he tells me he wants to marry me, that he’d love to have kids with me, he wants to spend the rest of our lives together but i don’t think anything has ever hit me like this did.

so to lay it all out, this man somehow managed to soothe an insecurity i never told him about. what he means by “his only goal” he means that us and our life is the only thing he feels the need to work towards. making our life together in the way we want with a house and maybe a kid and whatever animal i can convince him of is the only thing he’s working towards. not a new job or car or more money. just me and our life. he’s saying i’m his number one priority and i don’t know if i’ll ever get over this. he’s always been incredibly sweet and caring, but this is just a different level for me.

i’m gonna marry this man. i don’t think anyone’s ever seen me so clearly and just understood me so deeply as to speak on something i’ve never voiced to anyone and reassure me.

anyway that’s my essay for the void today.

[bestworstcase]

Both gods created humans together but the god of Darkness is the one who gave them magic.

Even if BOTH brothers made the cat, maybe they don’t know it was two ppl?

The god of Darkness Creating CC after what he says in the lost fable, something about how the god of light might rule over creation but he’s not the only one who CAN create, makes a lot of sense. If he and he only made CC without any of his brothers input to prove he could make something besides the Grimm.

This isn’t disbarring with your earlier posts or about Salem I’m spouting out ideas under the guidelines of the brother gods are involved

see this is the kind of engagement with ‘word of god’ that i appreciate, because it’s thoughtful. i do think it’s a lot more likely that a statement that also included the phrase “humans and stuff” (ghdhsk) is meant to be vague, and i don’t think there’s much narrative punch in an “actually, two!” reveal (like why bother, most everyone is going to assume that anyway), so my inclination right now is to assume that the cat is correct on the number.

i’ve not talked about it as much, but my second-place theory has always been that the god of darkness made the ever after parting ways with his brother post-extinction. i think focusing narrowly on dark’s gift of magic is kind of missing the forest for the trees, because dark’s half of humanity comprised destruction and knowledge. all the way back in V1, the fundamental struggle between grimm and humans is explained as an existential conflict between anonymity and knowledge—which is fascinating because it posits that the god of light really doesn’t have anything to do with it at all, it’s a struggle between the two facets of dark’s nature. there’s also some obvious congruence between the cat’s envy of humanity and the mythical portrayal of grimm; in the two brothers, grimm are said to hate humans in part because the god of darkness favors humans over grimm.

and then like, the cat is the storybook chill—the grimm from ‘the grimm child’—which might tie them to the god of darkness just as easily as it might tie them to salem. the narrative set up generally works just as well if the cat is a creation of the god of darkness, albeit in a somewhat looser way—it doesn’t integrate them into the wider narrative quite as intricately, but that’s fine bc they don’t need to be intricately connected necessarily.

there’s some stuff that has to happen in the next two episodes if one of the brothers did create the ever after or the cat or both, though, and this is the main reason i’ve gotten less convinced of their involvement with every episode. which came first, the ever after or remnant? (humanity was created twice, millions of years apart—which iteration was the cat left behind for?) if it came first, why does it only seem to be a creation of dark’s? if it came after, where is the god of darkness now, and why did he leave? did he leave?? (<- is he dead.) how might the resolution of these questions evolve into the resolution of the looming threat of the brother(s) ultimatum? (if salem made them, it’s much easier to connect the dots between resolving the cat and resolving salem, bc in that case the cat is the key to understanding who salem really is.)

the cat’s origins don’t exist in a narrative vacuum; the conflict with the cat is predicated on their abandonment and resolving that conflict is the climactic arc of the most important volume in the show. we’re on the cusp of the keystone holding the entire narrative together. (and also, just as a matter of practicality, with two episodes left every important thread remaining needs to be tightly woven together or else there won’t be enough time to deal with it all.)

so it matters a lot. i think any theory about the cat or the ever after’s origins at this point is incomplete without a solid sense of how it sets the momentum for the rest of the story and how it completes the key change from the tune of the last eight volumes—the gimme here is that the characters realize the brother gods are awful, but we’ve known that since volume six. it’s not exactly a paradigm shift.

this is why i keep saying—i’ve been saying since the minute i finished v8—they have to realize something about salem in this volume. what that might be is flexible, as long as it’s important enough to change the trajectory of the conflict with salem, but they cannot go back to remnant without changing their perspective of salem. narratively, this is mandatory. that’s the whole point of this volume. so the conflict with the cat and ruby’s experience in the tree both have to facilitate that, ideally in a manner that twines these two threads together.

the biggest unknown rn is what’s going to happen in the tree, i think. we’re probably going to learn about alyx (<-little?) through the process of ruby putting herself back together; we know she’ll meet the blacksmith again, and there’s “you never were the hero” still on the docket. a face-to-face encounter with summer feels like a gimme, with the only question being whether it’ll be the real summer or a figment of ruby’s imagination. loosely all of this fits together in a pretty straightforward way, it’s about ruby finding herself. and of course if summer is 1. alive and 2. with salem, that handles ruby’s side of the salem paradigm shift as a matter of course; if summer is dead (she isn’t) then it’s more of a diffuse rejection of pedestals (which runs into the same problem of the characters merely realizing that the gods are awful).

so how does the cat get involved, exactly? they’re most likely headed for the tree—they believe it’s their way out—which puts them on a collision course with ruby (maybe) and leaves wbyj stranded. with how fucking brutal the last episode was, i dooooon’t think it’s likely that the narrative is going to throw ruby into another violent confrontation, at least not until her ascension is complete (and even then—V9 has made it clear that ruby doesn’t want to be a warrior anymore, and i am… deeply… skeptical of the widespread assumption that of course ruby ascending is about ruby coming back as a more badass warrior than ever before.)

if the cat’s creator is the god of darkness, i would anticipate the resolution hinging upon what the girls know about why the brothers left remnant. the cat needs to know why their maker abandoned them, and if their maker was one of the brothers then team rwby can answer that question. the brothers are cruel and arrogant and see their creations as inferior little playthings to be discarded at whim; if one of them made the cat, they left the cat because they didn’t care. in this scenario i think the resolution is about getting the cat to understand this, and then handling the aftershocks. that facilitates the salem paradigm shift via the symmetry between the cat’s predicament and salem’s, and the kids return to remnant with that model for dealing with salem in mind.

this feels… kind of off to me, though, because the cat already learned this. the cat interviewed them quite thoroughly about the origins of remnant and it allayed their obsession not at all, which makes sense if neither brother is their maker but makes the resolution thornier otherwise—which isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if the general thrust is that the cat’s true desire is for their maker to come back to them and needing to accept that it’s not going to happen.

bu-ut if that were going to be the case… well. ruby’s mom left for unknown reasons and never came back, and ruby has spent her whole life living in the shadow of an absent mother honored for her presumed heroic sacrifice, always remembering that summer promised to come back. yang’s mom left, too, and yang became obsessed for years with the question of why and spent most of her life actively searching for answers, only to get them and realize that the answers sucked and didn’t make her feel better and she couldn’t just make raven be the mom she wanted.

if the cat’s arc is headed for realization that their maker doesn’t care and isn’t coming back, that the answer they want isn’t the answer they’ll get, the cat really ought to be anchored to YANG, not ruby, because that’s where the narrative symmetry naturally lies. at the very least, i would expect yang’s estrangement from raven to have had more of a presence—any presence at all—in her character arc for this volume. this kind of emotional and thematic set up is something rwby excels at, so the fact that it *isn’t there* says to me that the natural symmetry is between the cat and ruby.

and the thing about summer is, she’s clearly not dead and the story has been rolling out the proverbial red carpet in preparation for her to return. whatever summer’s reason for leaving, and whatever develops with ruby and her mom once summer returns—the cat and their maker are going to mirror that in some way, which doesn’t mean that it will necessarily resolve in exactly the same way, but it’s certainly going to dovetail. summer’s reasons for leaving are likely a lot more complex than anyone who knew her ever guessed, and either she’s going to need saving or (more likely) she’ll turn out to be on “the enemy’s” side and precipitate a lot of rethinking. that is, very loosely, the sort of trajectory the cat is on too.

the cat might, maybe, turn out to be the mediator between humanity and the god of darkness, if the end-game is humans+dark vs light? but there’s a lot of fiddly bits involved in that and obviously the cat can’t reach their maker right now, otherwise they would have already done so, so there’s a decent amount of mechanical work necessary to make this happen—& probably requires bringing the cat back to remnant and incorporating them as a major character for at least the next volume.

dunno. this is where all the brothers-did-it theories tend to unravel for me—carrying that momentum forward out of the ever after in a way that achieves the salem paradigm shift is tricky, and a lot of the obvious ways to do it have been cut off as the arc narrative develops toward the climax. (e.g. the brothers aren’t here, so no confrontation with them is possible; the mains have fretted about the truthfulness of the novel quite a bit, but they haven’t been curious about what the ever after is, the only part of its nature that has been a point of focus is ascension; they’ve not stumbled across any evidence of ozma or salem ever having been here before; there’s no sign of any relics being hidden in the ever after; etc. we’re basically down to “discover a compelling reason to summon the brothers” by now. or “finally realize that the brothers are the Real Problem, transferring the ‘we have no plan!!!’ futility from salem to the brothers,” which seems to be where most brother-origin theories land but is imo hilariously inadequate.)

[cognitosclowns]

so, we've talked about Reagan's reaction to Brett dying, but can I get some HC's for how the rest of the crew would react? also, how do you think Brett would react if any of the Team died?

</3 a a a a a a </3

tw death and dying, mortality and similar topics. also substance abuse! also food mentions!!

When Gigi hears the news her hands just,, immediately go to her heart.

There’s this massive ache like someone punched her in the chest. She doesn’t have the words or energy to react - she just takes a long, deep breath and leaves to sit in her office for a while.

She’ll recover - this is not the first person she’s lost, it isn’t going to be the last, but it’s gonna take a while. This job never gets easier.

She takes care of his affairs - his family isn’t involved in his life, and she doesn’t want them fucking with his estate. She manages finances, gets his will sorted, etc. All the Big, Frustrating Stuff that you shouldn’t have to be thinking of when someone you love is dead

She doesn’t want (or,, trust) anyone to take care of those sorts of things when they’re grieving.

Glenn probably handles it the best

He was an army man, active service for years. He knows how to deal with death, with grief, how to comfort others and what ppl need when they’re grieving.

Brings food to the war room bc,, he knows they’re gonna be forgetting to take care of themselves. 

Sits with Gigi and just,, holds her hand. They don’t really speak? Theres kind of a quiet understanding between them.

He’s genuinely the biggest help to everyone. Nobody really has the words to thank him properly but,, they appreciate it.

Myc is used to humans dying? mostly,,

This is why he doesn’t get attached - and fuck did he get attached to that stupid, brainless hunk. He regrets it now, obviously, but there’s no going back now.

It’s probably the only time they’ll see him quiet? he just,, doesn’t engage. No jokes, no ribbing, for at least a month or two. He probably tries to cut himself off from the gang at least a few times

He just,, doesn’t wanna have to deal with that again. He really doesn’t want to have to attend 4 more funerals.

This is a feeling he hasn’t had to deal with in a very long time, so it sucks absolute ass. He gets through it, but it’s gonna leave a lingering worrying about,, when the Next One Is Gonna Be.

Andre absolutely cracks a joke when he finds out. It’s badly timed and completely tactless, and the team doesn’t get upset bc,,, they get it. He’s just trying to cope.

Something about,, being reminded of how fragile he is?? is Way Too Much??  

He goes on a week-long (maybe a few weeks?) bender, drinking and partying. The thought of dealing with that sober is,, something he does not want to deal with.

He phases in between remembering Brett is dead and not even knowing his own name. He can’t grieve the loss of a friend he can barely remember existing!

He’s piss-drunk at the funeral, Gigi and Myc make sure he doesn’t make too much of a scene. Myc has a few tentacles around him, maybe just trying to mellow him out and make the event pass Quickly for him.

It definitely hits him hard - the team knows not to mention Brett anymore around him.

Brett would genuinely do everything in his power to keep a happy face if one of The Gang died. 

He feels the pressure to pretend everything is fine, and be the Beacon of Hope he always is bc,, if HE can't even be positive, how's everybody else going to?

Eventually he's going to break, because nobody can deal with grief by just tamping it down, but he's sure as hell gonna try smd. 

Someone’s gonna ask how he’s dealing with everything so well and,, he’s just gonna burst into tears.

Expect a group hug or two <3 

AAAAA THIS ASK <3 FUCK THIS WAS SO FUN (??? AGONIZING???) TO WRITE TYSM!!!

[ringmyheart]

Hey was wondering if I could get something for lookism characters with an older s/o, like they're 3-4 older. Please do goo, Jake kim and Scott kwon.

Good luck with the blog🤩🤩🤩

Goo Kim

When you get into the relationship, of course he knows ur age and that you’re a few years older than him, and at first he doesn’t mention it but once ur like just a little bit closer he’s probably gonna poke fun at the fact

Because there’s nothing wrong w u being older it’s just that in all the stereotypical or general movies or shows or books it’s like the older person in the relationship is usually the like stronger or more providing person ends up being the oldest in the relationship and ur not useless in the relationship at all but he’s out there like killing ppl and raking in thousands a day at like 19 😭

If ur walking around in public and someone stares at u for a little longer or one of the ten geniuses is looking at u just casually he’ll get up in their face and b like “whaaat?! Do you know who you’re staring at? That’s your elder over there!! Show some respect!!”

He definitely sends u cringy texts like “how’s my favorite 21 year old 😍😍😍😍” and it’s clearly somewhat condescending but he means it endearingly simultaneously

If u don’t know something that he asks u he’ll raise a brow and go “really? A four year head start and u can’t tell me that 🤨” and it’s all good fun but he’s always gonna say stuff like that

And this is all unprompted, if he knows ur actually kinda like insecure for whatever reason that ur older than him, maybe bc he’s already getting cash like crazy at his age, he’ll either start making fun of u relentlessly OR if ur serious about it he’ll cut it out of course and never mention it again. He might try to make u feel better by being like “don’t worry!! Physically and mentally im probably years older than you 😘” and it doesn’t really make u feel better probably but he kind of tries

It’s honestly no big deal to him what ur age is, but if he knows u don’t like him mentioning it so much he will bc he likes to be annoying LMAO and whenever u accomplish something he’ll be like “did u see what my s/o did?! My 21/22yr old s/o?! At their old age they’re still kicking it!!” And ur in NO means old but he just wants to strike a nerve in u and fight in public for fun

But when u put him joking about it aside, it really doesn’t mean anything in the relationship honestly. He doesn’t feel like there’s a certain way for things to go nd just goes about things normally, and he doesn’t really see people older than him as wiser or anytning so he’s not gonna like go to you for advice or ask you to figure things out for him just bc ur older

And honestly u don’t even need a job anymore bc ur gonna b together for a long time and he makes SOOO much money so if u hate ur job or college u have the opportunity to do what u want in life without worrying ab the pay bc he makes it all for u

And yeah he’s pretty stingy w money besides being filthy rich but when or if u need it he’ll give it to u ofc and he wants u to pursue what u like too so he’ll even go to ur job or college and just inform them “btw (y/n) isn’t gonna work here anymore” for u and gets u a job as whatever u want. He beats up ur boss so u can get promoted or something but if u ask about it he’ll deny it anyways and it’s like who else would beat tf out of my boss and he shrugs

Or if u like ur current job or college he’ll threaten the school or ur boss LMAO and have them give u more money or make u pay less or promote u

Even tho ur older than him he sees himself as the like leader of u two ?? Like he’s a really joke-y guy on the exterior but behind the scenes he is doing all the like hard stuff so u don’t have to. Like he sees it as he helps u and if u never offer much help or advice he doesn’t gaf, it’s like he helps u and in return he gets u LMAO

If u like ur job or college, don’t wanna quit and don’t want him threatening ur superiors he is like the number one customer of u guys

Like if u r working retail or as a cashier he is always going to that store nd buying stuff nd funding ur business and he gets chairman choi to do so too

Or he’ll just buy ur company or college LMFAO and suddenly sales r booming and u don’t know why r ur classes r so much easier

Yeah ur older than him and the twelve geniuses but he doesn’t let u near them 😐 he doesn’t want u to be a part of that type of business and honestly keeps u away from it besides maybe gun bc he’s always around him but that’s it

Like he doesn’t want u anywhere near his business or that type of stuff and if ur curios about it he says “u will understand when ur my age” or something LMAO so u will stop asking. It’s like the 1 time he’s suddenly rlly serious

If anyone else mentions how ur older than him in a demeaning way he’ll def be mad it’s like HE can make fun of u but no one else can, like ever. He will fight them nd win even if it’s just on the street or something

He’s threatened like two of ur friends behind ur back bc they made fun of u once and u mentioned it LMAO

He makes u do taxes (does he even do taxes ????? LMFAO) but if he does he makes u do them bc suddenly he thinks ur so much smarter and wiser

If he’s in a rut and needs ur help and it’s something dumb like he lost something he’ll b like “cmooon ur so much smarter than me 😣😩 ur like 21 u would know this for sure” to make u do it and he uses flattery

None of the ten geniuses know ur name bc he’s tryna keep u safe lol

If ur ever in a situation somehow vaguely similar to one he’s in and he needs help on it he’ll ask u what u did, and if u say something surprisingly smart or wise he’ll be kinda surprised bc I feel like he’s cocky and doesn’t think others can help him that much but u do

But overall, it means nothing to him and it doesn’t matter how much older u r he’s still gonna feel like the protector

Jake Kim

It REALLY means nothing to him. Like he honestly never mentions it and ur like does he even know??? Bc a guy like him who’s like a leader of a whole enterprise type thing gang usually seems like he’d wanna be the elder in a relationship so ur like “... u know I’m like 4yrs older than u right?”

And he’s like “...yeah? Was that important or something?” And just blinks at u so ur like ... never mind

Honestly he probably makes u a bank account and puts money in it to surprise u on ur birthday or something like a little fund thing and he has a bank account on the side for u that has like thousands of dollars

If u ever feel bad or weird that ur older than him bc he is so successful and younger than u, he wonders why it even matters??? Who gaf??? And he’ll just hug u or something and is like pls don’t even worry about that... wth

If u ever feel petty bc he’s so much more successful than u bc it’s like when u have a hobby that u love and then a kid ends up being so much better at it than u but SO much worse bc he has like millions at like 19 💀 then he’s like okay but it’s OUR little enterprise now since we r together to assure u. He’s not cocky about it at all

But he won’t offer for u to join or try and help him out in making money even if he’s got to or it’s vital bc he also doesn’t want u involved w Big Deal at ALLLLLLL either, u could literally b like the smartest person in the world but once ur his s/o he probably doesn’t want u involved in his business at all

He does assume ur kind of wiser than him bc of ur age, so he’ll ask u for help or advice more often

Tbh regardless in a relationship he probably doesn’t leave any work for u to do like he does everything the financial stuff the living stuff everything so it doesn’t matter if ur older than him or if u see it as ur responsibility bc of that he’s still gonna bring in the money for y’all

Like he’s gonna take care of everything even if ur older so there’s no pressure for u to “act ur age”

Never brings up the fact that ur older than him, but maybe once in a fight it got bad and he yelled “ffs ur 21 u should know better than this!!” And that hurt ur feelings or something so from then on he just never ever mentioned it

And when others mention it he makes a cut throat motion like “stfu😡” bc he took it as u not liking ur age being brought up rather than u not liking it being held against u but it’s still kinda sweet how he tries to preserve ur feelings sm

If ur in college or something, he tries to help u w hw and stuff and he’s rlly educationally smart I think like he might’ve gotten bad grades but he understands quickly

And eventually he’s just doing ur hw for u LMAO

One time he probably accidentally wrote “Jake Kim” on the top of ur hw and u had to explain to ur professor why that happened

If u work, he probably also bribes ur boss or something to give u a raise and promotion or if u wanna move jobs but r scared of the low pay he feels like it’s a dumb fear bc he is clearly rich af, like u probably don’t even need a job 😭😭

Ur allowed to since ur in ur 20s legally but he doesn’t like or doesn’t let u go around casinos bc he’s seen firsthand how bad gambling is and he has the money to compensate if u ever get into gambling and lose a lot but he just doesn’t want u to feel guilty or get addicted

Like if u pass a casino and wanna go in and r like hey wanna check it out he just grabs ur hand and keeps walking and is like “let’s not” and probably asks u at one point to pls not get into gambling

If ur kinda petty bc he’s so much better at fighting than u despite being younger he’s like u don’t even need to fight I can literally do that for u???? Bc he feels like the only reason U would ever need to fight is to protect urself so if u wanna do it for fun he’ll teach u but doesn’t take it that srsly

He maybe made like one joke ab ur age or sent u a meme he saw ab relationships but u left him on read and it was just a bad joke or something but yeah overall he really refrains from bringing up ur age like ever 😭😭

He thinks ur insecure bc ur getting older or something and that’s y so he might start going like “looking youthful today 😀👍” every morning to u and ur like oh hehe thanks ????????

If someone else ever voices that they think it’s weird ur older than him he’ll fight them too like first he’ll go “(y/n), is this ur friend ?” Like he did w jiho and if ur like no he’s like oh :)) and then punches them or something

Doesn’t tell u stuff ab his business and ur like I’m 20-23 I can handle it and he just refuses anyways and will leave u in the dark bc yk won’t even risk it

Someone in Big Deal might be like “use ur s/o to help us work nd get money since they’re old they seem professional” he kicked them out immediately ur not touching that shit

But generally, he doesn’t care about it at all, and honestly just cares ab u and not ur age

Scott Kwon

He definitely uses u to get into places only ppl 20+ can enter LMAOO

He’ll have u walk in first and then slip in past u and if he gets caught he grabs u and goes “THIS is my s/o!!! They’re clearly of age, and I’m their s/o so clearly I am of age too 😤😤”

Ur banned from like 50 bars because of this like there’s a little “if these two come and ask u to enter their bar DO NOT LET THEM ENTER!!” Wall for y’all

He might try and hide in ur coat or something to get in but it never works

He definitely makes fun of ur age in a cocky way like haha... an older person wanted to get with ME. Little old me. And he feels like hot stuff bc of it for sure

Brags about it a lot like will take out ur photo and goes “u see this?? My s/o?? Yeah they’re in love w me and THREE YRS OLDER... hold ur applause guys” and it boosts his ego sm

He sends u scarily recent memes or jokes on the internet ab older s/o’s if there r any, and eventually when u go on his Instagram at least 1/3rd of his feed is just ageist jokes

If it really hurts ur feelings, he won’t tell any jokes ab it and won’t mention it ever again but will continue to utilize ur age to do things he can’t at age 18-19

He feels proud that he’s making sm money and is such a good fighter despite being younger than u bc he feels like it makes u look up to him so he’ll boast about it like he’ll punch something and go see that babe????? I can do that and I’m only 19!!! And ur like omg that’s so cooollll!!!!! <3 and his heart just swells

Pays for anything u want like buys u everything u ask for or just look at tbh, and also feels like u have no responsibility just bc ur older and seees himself as like the “leader” if the relationship and has a sense of duty to helping u and everything

Steers u away from trouble ASAP too it doesn’t matter if u can hold off on ur own, if he sees guys that just look mean he and u r walking the other way and ur like bro what?? And he just lies and is like I liked the sunset this direction or smmn and he doesn’t confide in u ab scary things

Bc yeah u can probably handle scary or threatening news but he’s not gna risk it regardless

If he’s rlly stressed ab something that can’t endanger u he won’t tell u that much ab it but might vaguely describe his predicament and looks to u for help and comfort and u just listen and he feels so much better afterwards and he’s telling u all this and ur just like mhm uh-huh :) and so he starts confiding in u more

But ruins it by going like “damn old ppl r good listeners 😆” and ur like STOPPPPPPP

Everyone in God Dog knows ur name age face and occupation bc he’s always talking ab u LMAO

When he was younger and didn’t have that much leniency with the law he made u his legal guardian so he can do what he wants and he tries to use u to get him to do stuf by pointing to u and going “they’re my legal guardian and they say I can drink all this!!” And ur like “no I absolutely do not???!!!!!” And he thought by doing that he’d get anytning but u prioritize his health 🙄 and he’s annoyed but secretly loves it and loves u doting on him nd worrying ab him and his well-being lol

In general, he rlly doesn’t care that ur older than him. His only big concern I. A relationship ever is how he can keep u safe bc he’s in pretty like tough stuff, and he’ll make fun of u but in all good fun and loves u sm

Thank you for the request, and thanks for the wish of luck <3 I’ll the my best w this blog!! I’m not that good at writing for Jake Kim, btw, because his character can kinda confuse me sometimes but he seems to be popular so I hope I get more requests of him so I can get his character down and write him properly. 💘I hope this was what u wanted 😭

[rainbowsky]

More on the Fan Fic issue

I have a few more asks about the issue raised the other day, some of which are long and go into detail on the 'wars' that have been happening on Twitter and AO3.

Sorry for grouping these but I wanted to put it all under a cut because these are long, and also in case people don't want to dig into these issues (which would be understandable).

Anonymous 1 asked:

"I am very strongly of the opinion that the BJYX term is still a fandom umbrella term" I agree. Mainly because Bjyx is the most popular. Many antis always say bjyx, and have no idea the others. So sometimes it's easier just to say bjyx instead of explaining all three. I myself more like "who cares as long as they happy." So I enjoy Yizhan in all contexts. Many bxgs I know also like that, mostly ibxgs. I think deep down all bxgs (no matter which position they prefer) just want Yizhan to be happy

Not sure we can be so certain about that last part, Anon (I think for a lot of people GG and DD are just characters in a smutty story they have in their heads), but I agree about the term being popular regardless of the type of fans people are.

From what I can see the BJYX term seems to be used 80-90% umbrella, 10-20% dynamic in both international and c-social media (for every 10 times you see the term used, only one or two of those usages - probably less - are referring to a dynamic). This is my totally unscientific estimation, but I think even 10-20% dynamic is being generous. The number of people who are fixated on a sexual dynamic aren't nearly as large as they'd like to believe.

Anonymous 2 asked:

about the promptfests - i’ve been on twitter since early 2020 and what i’ve noticed is that this influx bjyx-only promptfests started gaining speed once lots of rational voices started leaving the fandom recently either because a) new interests have caught their attention or b) the toxicity of the popular bxg circles on twitter have become too much to handle.

gdgdbaby was usually the organizer of dynamic-inclusive events, and she’s received lots, and lots, and lots of backlash by bxg, sometimes even by accounts with thousands followers, for using bjyx as a catch-all term. and as her interest in yizhan has since waned—hopefully for reasons unrelated to fandom toxicity—many of the people who were attracted to the welcoming environment she created distanced themselves as well.

zsww/lsfy fans have become an outnumbered circle who try their best to create exclusive events to avoid the “is bjyx a catch-all term” discourse, but never seem to gain as much traction as gdgdbaby (who has a sizeable following) or those who host bjyx-only events (who also have sizeable followings).

meanwhile the dynamic war has only become more and more hostile and bjyx is clearly the more populated group… ao3 is simply a battlegrounds, if i may dramatize the situation a little for the sake of humor, and the promptfests are a reaction to this irritating t/b discourse that has made bxg twitter completely inhospitable for me…and lots of other fans too.

(i’ve also noticed a huge reinforcement as of recently where ppl will call gg laopo, a milf, an omega, etc even outside of rpf (i.e. posting pictures of him at events and saying he looks pregnant or he’s going into heat) and it’s just… uncomfortable.)

(also please note i have a biased account of all of this drama bc many of my friends were harassed over it, and anyone who disagrees with my take may feel free to interject.)

I took the liberty of adding paragraph breaks because they are pretty important for some readers, particularly ND readers like me.

It's sad to hear how fucked up everything has become, but I'm not even remotely surprised. Toxicity leads to toxicity, and the whole idea of dividing up a RP fandom by sex position was misguided from the outset - no matter why it was done or how good the intentions might have been.

And yes, like I said, these people aren't just framing things this way for fan fic. This is how they talk about IRL GGDD.

I had written a lengthy essay here about homophobia in the fandom but deleted it all. Perhaps I'll post it separately at some later point. Suffice it to say that this stuff creates a climate that's often hostile for queer people. So much of it is deeply homophobic, whether people are aware of it or not.

It's really sad to hear about gdgdbaby being mistreated in any way. Anyone who steps up and sticks their neck out to help organize and coordinate activities that benefit a broader group of people should be celebrated and supported, not run out of town by an angry mob.

I've read some of her stories and even have one or two on my rec list. And here's someone who is not only writing good works, but also supporting others to write more good works. Such a shame.

Anonymous 3 asked:

Hello Mr. RBS! I think I can chime in a bit about the fanfic topic as I’ve watched this all unravel on twitter (where a majority of authors/readers are). I apologize if this gets long but it’s been something that’s also been on my mind.

I want to preface this by saying that I’m not a fan of the distinctions of dynamics as, like you said, the supposed line between real life and fanfic is long gone, so I’m not trying to be biased against one group over another.

Short answer to the question of, “is this retaliation?” : I do believe it is. (From here onwards I’ll be using bjyx as the dynamic term just for the ease of simplicity.) To understand why, I’ll have to explain with a bit of background info. On twitter, I’d say that there’s a quite large divide between bjyx and zsww/lsfy. That itself isn’t really a problem because people are free to like what they like and associate with whoever.

However there is a big problem where bjyx people are not just bjyx but also anti-zsww/lsfy. To the point where I’ve seen people say that they feel physically ill when they accidentally read zsww. I don’t think this type of behavior should exist in any dynamic bc in the end GGDD are real people with a real relationship behind this content and it’s just a gross fetishization at that point.

With all this happening, zsww/lsfy people have gotten more outspoken on how GG is often portrayed in those types of scenarios, mainly the over-feminization of him, bc it’s not just done in the context of fanfic but regular discussion of GGDD at this point. This tension between the dynamics kind of boiled over when the pregnant xz fest was announced, as you can take a guess at how that went over with zsww/lsfy people. lol.

But around that same time, another zsww/lsfy event was announced (I’m not sure if it’s the one anon was talking about) but the creator of the event suddenly got a ton of backlash for excluding bjyx, with the reasoning that bjyx is technically a part of lsfy. But the event was done to highlight zsww/lsfy (as all specific events are) bc the community and content for these dynamics are much less than bjyx.

Which is how we come back to the starting point of, is all this recent bjyx stuff retaliatory. I believe so bc the events (preg fest, dark event) are very specific prompts that target exactly what zsww/lsfy people have been outspoken against.

As to the point anon made about trying to drown out the tags, keep in mind that zsww/lsfy content is very minimal compared to bjyx and has only just recently started to gain more traction. I think most people would love to just peacefully exist in their own circles but I don’t see this problem between dynamics disappearing anytime soon.

Like I said with the above Anon, I've added paragraph breaks for ND readers.

What a mess.

I have absolutely nothing useful to say here about the fandom on AO3 and how it's managed by community members, but I do think it's unfortunate that people choose to be war-like rather than make space for diverse voices, and I think it's a real shame that some people have been essentially run out of the fandom because of this garbage.

Thanks for giving some context for how/why the major shift in tone of fan fic lately. I had no idea any of this was going on.

I urge people to work hard to give space for all voices and perspectives, and not just the ones they favor. I'd also urge people to reflect on how their thoughts, behavior and actions in the fandom might affect queer people in the fandom.

As always, we have no control over what other people do, say or think. All we have any control over is how we respond to what other people do, say or think. Hopefully we'll chose the path of peace and try to avoid fan wars or fights that only ruin the experience for everyone.

I guess one thing I'd ask any of the Anons who have written me about this issue - or anyone who has thoughts about it - is, what can we as readers/fans who care about diversity of voices and perspectives do to support that here and on AO3, without getting involved in any kind of war?

[tonyglowheart]

Hi, if it's alright with you there's a translation bit I want to ask about. From what I'm seeing on social media and on various translations of MDZS, 氏 always seems to be translated either to "clan" or "sect", and there are the rare instances where two parties get into a disagreement over it. What would you say is the more accurate meaning? And can both clan and sect can be used as translations of "氏" without any conflict of meaning?

Hi! Okay so. Let’s unpack this lmao.

氏 more technically translates to “clan,” “family,” or like as a term used to refer to “kinship” relations. It doesn’t.. really translate to “sect”? if you looked it up in a dictionary that’s not what it would say at all. *however.* It’s also not without precedent for there to be cultivation sects within what I’d say is, like, “wuxia classical canon” in which the sect name IS the [location][family name]氏, like what you see in MDZS. Look at the sects listed until “Demi-Gods and Semi-Devils” in this EN Wikipedia lists page.

But 氏 itself does not mean sect, I wouldn’t say, and the usages I’ve encountered before in, like, harem dramas or such, use the term to indicate family, clan, kinship relationships, etc. In harem dramas for example (I’m specifically referencing harem dramas bc that’s the specific examples I have off the top of my head lol,,), you’ll see female characters referred to by [Family name]氏 if they’re not being referred to by their titles or whatnot, and it means something like... clanswoman of [Family name] in this usage. like.. referring to her by her maiden name. (which has its own complicated politics involved and I’m not getting into that here, just as a like... related aside to this example)

I haven’t read much as far as the “classics” of the genre to say what’s typical or not, which also means I don’t know if the cited precedents in earlier wuxia novels treat their 氏 as more of a sect or a clan, or a mix the way mdzs does. But I do think that MDZS, at least, does somewhat conflate clan & sect in how the sects are treated compared to the handful of other danmei cultivation novels I’ve read. MDZS’s “sect” situation is a bit more feudal in the sense of having a founding families who are in charge of certain city-states/regions, and have followers who are part of their city-state and so are members of the “clan” but who aren’t actually a part of the clan in the sense of bloodline or familial kinship goes. Non-blood members of the “clan” are not literally adopted into the family in order to be part of the respective cohort, which is what makes it more like your typical cultivation sect within a wuxia or xianxia setting go. At the same time, you still have your differentiation of the ruling/founding family within the “sect” (which goes by the clan name). If it were just translated as Clan, I can see this becoming more and more confusing for an Anglophone, especially if they don’t have experience with the genre, genre conventions, or cultural conventions. But again I can’t speak for if this is “typical” in the genre or even how the specific texts that might be considered a sort of “wuxia classical canon” treat the 氏 there, and how that’s “typically” been treated in translation (like whether the English translations of these other novels tl as clan or sect, for example). I could look into that more, and like as far as due diligence goes I probably should, but I feel like I can answer your questions without reaaallly delving into all of that at this moment, so I’m gonna  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ If someone does know better and wants to correct me, please feel free.

Regarding MDZS specifically: I believe the choice to translate 氏 in MDZS as Sect was a specific choice that ExR made (who like. c’mon we all know they did in fact set a lot of translation precedent with their tl). If I remember correctly, I believe that ExR actually translated 氏 to Clan or sth like that at first, but then decided to change it to Sect to go along more with “typical” cultivation novels terms (isn’t there an A/N somewhere to this effect?). I actually don’t have an issue with this translation choice, lmao, I think it helps clarify some of the issues an Anglophone unfamiliar with the genre might have, or like help combat some of the connotations of using “clan” that might confuse an Anglophone. I think in English, “clan” tends to have strong kinship meanings, and like a cursory look at the look-up for clan mentions something about “common ancestor” and how in some societies clans would be exogamous, which means their members cannot marry each other. That is not the case with cultivation sects more generally, and not even the case with MDZS sects even tho it acts as a sort of deconstruction of the genre or as a sort of “proto-xianxia” society evolving out of more feudal structures. Anyway, cultivation sects don’t really follow this kind of organizational idea, and MDZS also does have discussions of the significance of bloodline within each respective Sect, which imo would warrant the distinction in translation choice. It also makes it easier to indicate who you’re talking about when you’re talking about, like.. “inner disciples” or “outer disciples” like Gusu Lan has, slash is extra helpful when the other Sects don’t already have this kind of in-built distinction in terminology.

I also kind of like this particular translation choice ExR made because I think the “Gusu Lan Sect” or “Yunmeng Jiang Sect” format lends it a formality to the naming that something like “Lan Clan/family of Gusu” or “Jiang Family of Yunmeng” kind of lacks.

(Rando note: some more “common” terms that “translate” to sect are 派, and 寨 and you’ll see some others like 帮, 教, or 门 and so forth. Each of these don’t... exactly translate to “sect” on their own but Chinese characters don’t always act as individual “words” with one-for-one translations; they sometimes are morphemes which need to be put together with other characters for form words, but can still lend the meaning of common word-constructions even when used individually, depending on context. If you looked up “sect” in an EN>CN dictionary you’d get results like 教派, 宗派, 门派, and more, which take on the meaning of “sect” depending on context and usage)

tl;dr: no 氏 does not translate to sect, per se; if you just asked me out of the blue I’d say it’s “clan” or “family” and/or referring to other kinship relations, including like a “maiden name” for women, as with the harem drama example above. *however*: there’s precedent for the MDZS-style “sect” naming structure within wuxia classical canon as far as referring to established organizations in a given novel go (caveat of I don’t know that much about those or how it’s treated in the text or in translation), and within MDZS usage I can also see why ExR made the decision to translate it to “Sect” when referring to the overall collectives, bc the members of the “sects” include not just the bloodline family members but also non-bloodline disciples who are followers of the sects, and I actually don’t think it’s a bad translation decision. It helps formalize the English translations of the “sect” names, and makes it clear(er) to an EN audience we’re talking about cultivation sects, and also helps to create a distinction for when we need to discuss the main “clan” (i.e. ppl of the bloodline of the founding families of each respective sect) within each respective “sect,” especially where other sects don’t make the distinction between “inner” disciples and “outer” disciples the way Gusu Lan does (a distinction which imo also is helped by calling the greater organization a “sect” and not a “clan,” bc otherwise we’d. probably get even more wank from anglophones arguing that “oh disciples are literally adopted into the family!!!!!!!!” and honestly there’s only so much bs I can take lmao. we already get enough “wwx is LITERALLY adopted” wank as is).

Kind of a last note and also a more context-dependent on the target-language-side approach to translation: I think the treatment of translating 氏 to “sect” as far as MDZS usage goes is, like, considering more certain “canonized” translations of certain terms & concepts from Chinese to English; with here the idea of using “sect” is because that’s the more “canonized” translation for a collective of ppl following a certain school of learning/thought in a cultivation setting.

[amazingphilza]

DSMP!OC HEADCANNONS

i dunno if ppl on here make dsmp!ocs for themselves outside art but here’s my long list of headcannons?? idk what to call this, but assume all names have c! before it ofc :]

,, this is kinda messy & probably has a lot of plot holes but i just needed a space to write out all my thoughts LOL

also cw / ment of manipulation & ib: dsmp wiki <3

character origin :

previous life was the l’mantree :D

allegedly planted by schlatt, we will never know who’s my canonical parent(s)

reborn as a dryad after niki burns the l’mantree

i think being a dryad would fit especially since they’re typically nymphs of oak trees :]

appearance :

my character’s mc skin has long light brown hair & is seen wearing a flower crown with petals that are around the color of a pale violet and navy blue

clothing would consist of black shoes & a long light grey sweater that falls down to the legs and covers most of the hands which adorned with 2 black stripes on the upper arms

lore / history :

since my past life was the l’mantree, i would’ve known the ins and outs of the history when l’manburg was still standing, up until niki burned the tree

after witnessing everything, i’d hold a grudge on niki (+ allies?) and loyal to wilbur since he’s the whole person that made a meaning of the land of l’manburg

however i’d still be on edge w any side because i could sympathize with everyone to some extent after seeing some sort of distress from everyone at some point

i think seeing both sides of the spectrum when l’manburg/manburg still stood could change my perspective of some other characters

but at the same time, not everything was completely centered in l’manburg so i wouldn’t know the whole story of everyone’s character

i’m currently writing this just after tommy has left the prison & mostly everyone is treating him differently, so i’d try to befriend him by not showing that i dont care about his past & trauma but also not being fully faithful about our friendship ahaha,,,

he seems like the type that needs someone to see through his past history but tommy would definitely disapprove of my character visiting dream at the prison (i would do it anyway :))

vowing my current life to wilbur, i would help dream escape to revive wilbur & follow along with their plans of chaos

i don’t fully support dream but he is the only way to wilbur, making me comply with dream’s decisions

“growing up” in my past life and witnessing endless conflict, it is the only thing i know and understand; chaos

but i think during the process of helping dream & wilbur i’d keep my connection with them secret, being the person to obtain all the inside information they need

i could see myself as a type of equilibrium like ranboo but in a bad way, i don’t know how to explain it

but i would try befriending ranboo since he seems like he is involved in many things and would know a lot, despite his short term memory

unfortunately i’m not sure how much his character actually knows since i haven’t been able to watch his pov that much but i’m sure there’s a lot in his memory book...

to blend in as a normal person within the rest of the characters, i’d surround myself with connor a lot

not only because he needs more lore, connor is one of the “normal” citizens of the smp so i believe being with him doesn’t bring as much attention to myself, unlike people that’s related to the egg and their noticeable features after associating themselves with the egg

he is currently only on bad terms with techno which is rly good when comparing that to other characters and their relationships with other people

connor could probably sense my real intentions eventually & tell everyone else that i’m not who i say i am but if that’s my flaw & my downfall is caused by connor, so be it! sorry dream & wilbur

i feel like for being a young dryad, i’d still fool around with dream/wilbur & help give tommy an small “advantage” to defeating the two ?

like yes i’m supposed to be on your side but where’s the fun if tommy can’t do anything to begin with?

i honestly don’t know if wilbur was revived he’d actually be his vassal but let’s assume that happens, but either way i’m with wilbur on his decisions

but ya dream seems like the type to punish me for helping tommy and send me to the afterlife to learn & become smarter like wilbur had done or smth

in the end, i just want to give tommy bits and pieces that tease him from ending all the wars and problems he has been faced with

like here’s some info about dream and wilbur but it won’t be no where close to enough

but who knows, ghostbur said ‘villains are just heroes that aren’t convinced yet’ & maybe tommy could eventually grow on me & change my ways,,

maybe me fooling around & teasing tommy with answers he’s been searching for is a way to mask that i want to be a good person

ok but imagine after knowing so much about dream/wilbur, the revive book, & the afterlife & then i switch sides,,,

surely if tommy can’t put and end to them, dream would make sure i’m gone for good instead

but also if me & connor are in good terms & he’s canonically a necromancer & can bring ppl back to life,,,,

personality :

to all besides dream & wilbur, i’d try to act passive and friendly on the outside to get on everyone’s good side

however under the mask i am more mischievous & strive to cause more problems for everyone on the server from the inside out

in a way, i’ve taken up some of dream’s manipulative personality but still very understanding

i’d like to think of my character as a good listener,, trying to do less talking than others so i do not open up about my true self and intentions

i’ve seen rumors about schlatt & mexican dream also being revived along with wilbur & i feel like i’d have some soft spot for schlatt & pick up a few things from his own character, not sure what though

schlatt planted l’mantree theory, dad!schlatt au part 2 !! /j

because of my character’s closed off and quiet personality, i feel like i’d be pretty analytical

i would know how to slip between the cracks with some characters & notice the smallest things to make them question themselves

maybe my character is good at holding their composure, and not that susceptible to being “emotional” in a way so it’s easier to face people

like i understand when a situation is sad, etc but i can’t show emotion towards how i feel about it (i don’t know if that makes sense but ya!)

i wanna try to elaborate more,, like imagine my character before tommy visits the prison, i would be unfazed from when i found out he died to the point he’s released and we find out he’s been revived

everything is a constant blur hehe

i just can’t fully process everything i guess? i dunno if that’s helpful but yeah!

in the end though, my moral compass has been very tainted; despite wanting to show my loyalty, it can be slightly easy to sway me, making me internally feel guilty to other people

but me trying to get on everyone’s good side to impress wilbur/dream to seem useful to them would ruin me before i would even realize that i’m another “pawn”

we know damn well dream is faking it till he “makes it” but yk,,

but i’d be stuck in this kind of dilemma of not knowing what thoughts are my own or just something trickled down from wilbur or dream

there’s like maybe something that clicks in my head like “maybe i wanna think for myself for once” or smth

like who am i really?

powers , bonuses , etc :

since dryads can technically manipulate plants in some ways, theoretically i could control the blood vines to some extent ???

i’m pretty sure dryads can communicate with plants so i could understand what the blood vines are saying as well

maybe i could get a good sense of what the egg is all about and stuff

assuming that i understood anything that was happening with the egg in the first place but anyway—

i guess similar to ranboo like how he can’t really be around water without some type of amour or something, it would make sense for me to primarily reside in a type a forest or be near one ?? who knows

seems a bit morbid in a way because of the whole history but if i can somehow easily get rid of the blood vines without it affecting me (if there is still some there) i think it would be kinda pretty to build a tree base in the middle of the l’manburg crator (iskall tease)

like it can show a sign of some rebirth, not the same government repeated once again but a new era in general

you know how you see like destruction years after it the disaster or smth happened and it gets all overgrown with plants and stuff? ya that’s what i’m going for in my head (mumbo jumbo s7 tease)

i know it’s covered in glass already but i dunno, some broken glass and a giant tree emerging from the whole thing and all the rubble seems cool

i’m not a good builder but i have the vision LMAO

omg puffy is like a sheep human hybrid im pretty sure & like there’s a specific type of dryad that are a protector of sheep & other animals?? i’m not exactly sure but that seems like an interesting element to incorporate somehow

also glatt randomly planting a oak sapling in quackity’s lore stream yes pls feed my nonexistent dsmp character lore /j

i honestly dunno how to incorporate the fact dryads can turn shapeshift into trees when trying to escape something but i read something that if a dryad stays in a tree form for too long they’ll forget who they are and stay stuck as a tree?? which like woah that’s cool & some material but at the same time what—

since everyone’s backstory is kinda a mess, mr beast parent tease bc he planted a bunch of trees /hj

i have realized wilbur saying like “the whole reason i built this nation is gone” & blowing up everything or whatever is kinda a plot hole in like ‘why would i follow wilbur if/when he’s revived when he said this?’ but i’d like to think he was the one that made some meaning of the area lmanburg was on, which includes the lmantree

like he was the one that started everything and created that sentiment of that land, and however he views it now is how i would see it now

he gave meaning to my past life and now in my current life, i feel this obligation to repay him for it

not really lore bc i think it was cc!tommy talking to cc!ranboo about his height & age when he first joined but yk it would funny to make my dsmp character than his just to slightly spite him anyway

canonically 6’4 dryad yes . /hj

also i have no idea anything about hannah and her lore but we do be flower buddies :D

also omg like this isn’t at all important but the way ranboo can pick up grass blocks will just have me at awe, i dunno seems in theme with the forest/plant stuff

and i remember reading like there was something about dryads and apples but i can’t remember but i’d give tommy a bunch of apples /hj

apples am i right chat,,,,,

i’ll just have infinite apples in my inventory, like kill me in game, not like losing lives kinda deal but just in general and boom stacks of apples

“bee i get you’re half tree but do you just poop apples out like they’re nothing??” “girls don’t poop” /j

ok but like no matter how many streams i watch i cant grasp where everything is but omg but no if i was new to the server & stuff, canonically & not, i would feel my character to be the curious kind to explore everywhere

like besides a mini tour from some other person in the server, since my character only knows things in the bounds of lmanburg, i’d go off exploring different places like pogtopia, the sewers, showchester, etc

i feel like my character would be really into history, like they would have questions about what happened to lmanburg after the last war? what was life like before wilbur? what was the whole history about the antarctic empire? i dunno but reading a bunch of books from a library seems really interesting

oh but in theory, me and tubbo are loosely related if you wanna count schlatt as my “dad” because he supposedly planted the lmantree ???

i mean could make sense but it seems like a stretch

also if my character ever got close to schlatt, i’m not sure if this is canon, but i swear one time he mentioned how the whole dsmp sever is just a game/server in a game & he’s the only one that knows that ??? but like imagine if i found that out canonically,,,,,

big existential crisis pls

and i’m not 100% sure how dryad shifting works with like going from female to tree form and stuff but if i’m able to morph into different girls on the server & act as them,,,, the about of problems that can cause in the lore omg

lemme frame niki real quick and get inside information /j

oh ya and like hey bee do you support the government then? yes but no. whatever my “fav” person is canonically (assuming this is based in the beginning of this whole hc) whatever wilbur thinks, i think. head empty. but subject to change as the dsmp storyline progresses and stuff :]

ngl i wanna throw in some like random lore that doesn’t make sense to throw people off but i can’t think of anything

not actually really lore related but my choice of stream music like how ranboo has his undertale stuff that makes everyone cry, i will have in love with a ghost

yup i like in love with a ghost sm & i’m pretty sure their music is like not dmca too which yay but yk theoretically never gonna stream on the dsmp but still a fun aspect to think of bc i love listening to music & it’s very impactful to a story & associating something to it makes it more meaningful :D

like i could imagine the chill pop lofi piano stuff fits witha few lore streams of like exploring the whole smp before my character would really go out with being this lost villain in a way?

tubbo’s gangnam style who?

like i feel like i made my character bad/evil so they could have potential to get better in the future

on one hand, i’ll end up w dream and/or wilbur for the rest of my life, which is okay but i could also switch to be with tommy or even disregard all of them and be with techno/phil or quackity & potentially schlatt even who knows

also i cant wait for more connor lore tho, like as much as i tried to make my character give him more content i wanna see how everything goes with him having connections to schlatt & stuff

anyway i would’ve made concept art for my character but i honestly don’t rly like my art currently but who knows LMAO

and lastly if u read all of this ily /p

i might update this later when there’s more lore but ya

[dottie-wan-kenobi]

DOTTIE’S BATFAM FIC RECS

hi!! so, no one asked for this but,,, I wanted to make one anyway! I really love the batfam a lot and I see a lot of ppl in the fandom wishing it was easier to find good fics. this is by no means all of them but they are some of my faves, generally not too fanon-y! all fics are gen/family fluff with little to no ships (which are not bat/cest). 

feel free to message/ask me about triggers if you’re unsure!! and lmk if I forgot to tag anyone ❤️

---

Homecoming by Ionaperidot / @iowriteswords on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/10966704/chapters/24414906

Summary: “Your son’s grave. It’s been disturbed.” In which people actually notice when Jason breaks out of his grave, and Bruce finds him before Talia does.

My thoughts: Bruce’s voice in this is seriously perfect, plus Dick, Jason, and Tim are great as well!! This fic honestly helps inform me of my Tim characterization!

---

The Wound Begins To Bleed by audreycritter / @audreycritter on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/13295661

Summary: Now that Tim’s moved back to the manor, he just wants a few afternoons a week without Damian around. Funny how getting that was the catalyst for him becoming a better big brother.

My Thoughts: it makes me emotional okay it GETS me right in my HEART!!! both Dami and Tim are so so so good I can’t rec this enough

---

just hold a smile by RecklessWriter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22777705

Summary: That's the thing about smiles, Dick thinks. If you flash the right one, no one knows there's something more going on inside. Five times Dick faked a smile and one time someone saw through it.

My Thoughts: Dick & others, including Tim and Cass. Dick is really good at hiding his feelings from others, and I love how in this fic, a lot of times, he’s hiding them to “protect” whoever it is

(more under the cut!)

life, if well lived by CaptainOzone

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18378512

Summary: Jason wakes up from a time-travel mishap to find Thomas and Martha Wayne hovering over him. Just another day in the life, right? ...Not quite.

My Thoughts: this one had me crying like a baby!!! the characterization is great and I love CO’s Thomas and Martha

---

one shot, two shots in the night by discowing / @dykewing on tumblr, @/wlwdiscowing on twitter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18871864/chapters/44792710

Summary: The New York Times ✓ @nytimes · 4h

“A Shot in the Dark” remains on our bestseller list for the fourth week in a row! Read our review of @brucewayne’s tell-all memoir here: nyti.ms/3Fs9k2E

My Thoughts: TALK ABT MAKING ME CRY. this gets me every time, and it’s absolutely worth ALL of the rereads. such a great Bruce.

---

The View From Jade by lowflyingfruit

https://archiveofourown.org/works/11329791/chapters/25359972

Summary: Being transported to the past is not the sort of thing one normally expects. But this having happened, and with no easy way back, Jason's determined to make the most of it. Though the Bat still stalks Gotham's streets, the city's crime is run by the mobs instead of the rogues. There's no Joker yet. There's no Robin. Maybe there shouldn't be.

My Thoughts: Jason & Dick, and also Bruce somewhere in there too. this is SO! GOOD! I absolutely love Jason’s voice, and Dick is so in character. plus Bruce and Alfred are awesome as well!!!

---

The Birds Who Smile by Raberba girl / @raberbagirl on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12972324/chapters/29656290

Summary: "Dark Nights: Metal" AU where Bruce adopts three of the Robins who once belonged to the Batman Who Laughs.

My Thoughts: I think this was the first fic that introduced me to Duke, actually! and while there are a LOT of characters involved, they’re all pretty great and realistic. they have their moments to shine and it’s,,, *chef’s kiss*

---

The Thing about Apples and Trees by Cdelphiki / @cdelphiki on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22192747

Summary: When Jason agreed to let Bruce adopt him, he thought that meant Jason felt happy and safe in Bruce's home. But when Jason's nightmares only increased, and his panic attacks and meltdowns started happening more often, Bruce was at a complete loss for what to do. But then, Jason finally opened up to him, and he was able to quell some of Jason's worse fears. Perhaps a midnight chat and a few hugs wouldn't fix everything, but it was a step in the right direction.

My Thoughts: this is part of a series but might be okay to read on it’s own? tho really I suggest the entire series, it’s amazing. but this fic specifically has great kid Jason characterization (and also made me cry, I think!)

---

Kitten by lurkinglurkerwholurks / @lurkinglurkerwholurks on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18194294

Summary: Bruce opened his mouth, prepared to give the unemotional, no-nonsense explanation he had cobbled together between his walk to the car and now. Instead, his mouth went dry and nothing came out.

“Bruce?”

Bruce was saved from answering by the thin cry that cut through the silence. He winced, then reached back with one hand to shush the dimpled, kicking legs.

“Bruce, tell me I did not just hear what I thought I heard.”

My Thoughts: so so so cute! plus the gangs all here!!!

---

Yes Ma’am by lurkinglurkerwholurks

https://archiveofourown.org/works/22004695

Summary: Jason had shuffled into the bedroom and had just finished pulling his shirt over his head when he paused, arms still trapped in the fabric. A pair of eyes glowed at him from the bed, reflecting the dim light from the hall.

My Thoughts: I also have to include this one bc it was a gift to me, and it’s so cute & angsty & just dkjsfsdjkhfksjah I love it so much

---

The D-Word by AutumnHobbit / @autumnhobbit on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/9597686

Summary: "See, Tim?" Jason called over his shoulder sardonically. "Dad agrees with me."

He turned back to his food for a moment before the thought suddenly occurred to him that the Cave had gone near silent. He cautiously glanced back at the others. Alfred was still working away at stitching Tim up. Tim looked a little pale and sweaty, but he was glancing over at Jason with a look that was a mixture of concern and confusion. Bruce was standing stock-still, seemingly staring off into space.

My Thoughts: I constantly reread this when I want funny and then heart breaking Jason & Bruce feels. I always know what’s coming and it STILL GETS ME

---

baby wonder by drakefeathers / @drakefeathers on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/1887807

Summary: (baby!damian AU) Bruce dies, Dick becomes Batman. But the Damian that Talia leaves in his care isn’t a ten-year-old warrior, he’s a ten-month-old baby.

My Thoughts: oh my goddd this is so good, it hurts but it’s SO CUTE at the same time??? ugh dskjfhkjsadhf

---

a hat fashioned from tin foil by discowing

https://archiveofourown.org/works/14356020

Summary: nightwang @karakurachou – 8 hours ago

jason todd is alive and faked his death so he could become robin: a conspiracy theory thread

Batfam conspiracy theories meet social media.

My Thoughts: !!!!!!! so good!!!! seriously one of the best social media fics I’ve ever read.

---

Bet Your Bottom Dollar by jerseydevious / @jerseydevious on tumblr and twitter

https://archiveofourown.org/works/17971160/chapters/42447017

Summary: Dick's been having kind of a hard time, recently. When it boils over, Bruce is there for him.

My Thoughts: I reread this one a LOT when I need Dick & Bruce feels

---

Metanoia by AlannaOfRoses / @alannaofroses on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21943249

Summary: Jason's bleeding out, Dick's overtired, and a half-serious offer turns into their new normal. Sometimes you just need somebody else around.

My Thoughts: this one was also a gift to me!! it’s got amazing brotherly bonding and it made me laugh a LOT

---

a hundred miles through the desert by acrobats

https://archiveofourown.org/works/18197330/chapters/43045388

Summary: Finding himself nearly three decades into the past hadn't been part of Jason's plans for the day, but he could manage. Having no idea how he got there, no clear path home and a recently orphaned Bruce Wayne determined to drag Jason into his search for his parents' killer - that might be a little more complicated.

My Thoughts: ughhh this is such good Jason content (and such amazing Jason voice, too) I adore it

---

oh, where do I begin? by LazuliQuetzal / @lazuliquetzal on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21988693

Summary: “No, no, nothing’s wrong,” Jason says. “We’re a-okay. Just peachy. Good times.”

“Oh,” Duke says, lamely, working himself out of crisis mode. There’s an awkward silence for a moment before he speaks up again. “Why did you call?”

“Right, right," Jason mumbles, which seemed a little out of character to Duke. His sort-of wayward brother was generally intimidating, even when he wasn't trying to be. "Uh, Dick said that you had a guinea pig when you were younger. How do you take care of a guinea pig?”

_____

AKA, not-exactly accidental guinea pig acquisition

My Thoughts: this was ALSO a gift to me but it’s so funny and sweet and there’s amazing Duke & Jason bonding so I absolutely must rec it

---

Latchkey by goldkirk / @goldkirk on tumblr

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21672928/chapters/51685639

Summary: or, How Tim Drake Found A Family, Became A Photojournalist, Learned To Love Coffee, and Grew Up, not necessarily in that order.

Tim Drake is thirteen, runs the famous BatWatch blog that has spiraled hilariously out of control, has absentee parents that suit his purposes just fine, is training himself to run the streets at night, and is doing absolutely peachy, thank you.

Alfred and Jason disagree, and get Dick and Bruce involved in figuring out their weird nextdoor neighbor kid’s life. Everything goes uphill from there.

My Thoughts: this is SO GOOOOD the Tim feels are amazing!!! the family interactions!!! everything! sdkjfhsjdfhksdhfajh

---

Blood in the Water by MishaBerry

https://archiveofourown.org/works/12734052/chapters/29037474

Summary: We all do stupid things when we are lonely, and in faraway lands, we hardly expect the consequences to follow us. Bruce certainly never thought twice about an American woman in Jaipur after one night with her. He hardly expected to see her ever again.

The universe, on the other hand, had different ideas, and the tides of time and chance brought Tim Drake to Bruce's life over and over again.

My Thoughts: this one is more AU than a lot of the others on here but it’s a lot of fun!! it has Tim & Damian & Jason feels, plus the rest of the family on a smaller scale

---

so these are just SOME, and honestly you should go and check out other works done by all of these authors!! also would like to suggest reading the fics of @renecdote , @caramelmachete , @redtruthed , @rredarrow , and @schweeeppess !!!

[lordxgrinnyxboy]

rewatching tgm, wifi being useless edition 2/?

every time i hear puppet!Dea say “when a story is raw and real” i see Mr. Gordon Ramsey memes, they just scroll across my vision and there’s nothing i can do to stop it u-u

ngl im kinda in love with Mojo Puppeteer

the foot shimmy during this scene, like right as Ursus gets up off the floor Gwyn/Mr. Maskell does this little ankle squirm. u-u

foreaaaaaaaaaarmmmmssssss

love how mr maskell doesn't emote w/his face while puppeteering but ms. brisson's just facially so into this performance and honestly so's ms. onitiri

also love all the different bits of ribbon and such puppet!Dea’s hair is made of. several different textures in there

kay but the way he makes the prince puppet kinda bounce in place as he sings “only those three words could ever free me from the curse” it just makes it look like the prince is kindof adorably excited about this

im just now realizing that one part of the puppet is supposed to be the prince’s mouth and not his chin or something.

Dea’s soft “oh” when their hands touch

foreaaaaaarmsssss

Gwynlit always looks so shook as they step back from each other after the aging up sequence like he’s full dear-in-headlights (i know it’s ‘deer’ in headlights but he is Dear to Me so)

and really so is Dea for a second there

oh god her look of alarm  changes to a smile the second Gwyn starts singing. i need a minute.

i love these two so much

the harmony will never not end my life why is it so powerful

idk what they put in this song but every single time my aroace self is like “shfjshfsj play this at my wedding” and then i have to be like “wait.”

Dea��s adorable and i hope she knows how adorable she is

im cry they’re so cute they’re so cute i love these two

Quake is on it about letting ppl know entertainment’s cancelled due to the king dying Quake is ready Quake loves her job so much

oh so  the barrels are just there for Dirry-Moir and Osric to have somewhere to sit while Ursus tells the story okay

wait how quick did dude just throw on his Clarence costume and climb in the coffin that was. super duper fast

he’s literally offscreen for 24 seconds and managed to

holy cats how does he do it

wait also mojo tho. mojo had to put on his priest costume

wait also Osric and Dirry-Moir had to put on their Lord attire

and they say movies are supposed to be magic

just continuing to absolutely love every character played by ms. obianyo

love how they just. have trombones. 10/10

i mean i guess the costume changes aren’t super complicated like throw on a robe and a wig but STILL within 24 seconds? i think it’s impressive

oh hey jojo-as-a-random-lord is also here

ohhhhh is that why Jojo’s costume is Like That then? to make it easier to switch characters real fast? but no actually???

the hats on the lords tho. we’ve got Fish Lord, Bunny Lord,,, maybe some kind of Bird or Chicken Lord...

so it’s a Pig’s Foot that killed Clarence and the name of the holy relic translates to like, “pig’s flower” ...thematic....dots.......

oop there’s Only a Clown

ngl i kinda love Archbishop Kupsak. a weird dude.

would love to know why Angelica thought she needed to ‘make a law’ regarding traitors being brought to justice. just curious about her thought-process. heck she could probably have her own musical.

WAIT MS OBIANYO PLAYS THE TROMBONE. SICK.

wait hey, hey. hey. petition for ms. obianyo to play a FATE.

oh god it’s my least favorite scene

skip? no...but? no u-u

jojo apologize to the trash clown

scene too stressful

genuinely have no thoughts, head completely empty

CART SCENE CART SCENE CART SCENE

is that a bowl and spoon on th-

separate post separate post gentlefolks of the jury i

jaw twitch

okay but Dea gets this Look when Gwyn asks Ursus “who did this to me” she looks a little Surprised

does not react however to “who carved me into this freak”

the hand flex as Gwyn walks away from Ursus after Ursus Won’t Let Him Talk

oh Osric you absolute delight

beauty and the beast ii destroys me every time gwyn’s just steadily wilting but trying to hold on but he can’t and Dea’s so supportive

would love to know what Ursus’ take on all this would’ve been if he hadn’t been involved. like would he still be hell-bent on not letting Gwyn remember or would he have been more chill about letting Gwyn make that decision for himself

like on the one hand i can see why Ursus would think that maybe Gwyn would be better off not remembering, but also making him forget clearly didn’t actually help him suffer any less, it just gave him a different kind of suffering. He’s wrung-out tormented and Ursus can’t/won’t help him because of the potential repercussions of Gwyn learning the truth. which do include some Worst Timeline options for how that could go but. also include a few Gwyn’s Able To Move On And Live Well, With Or Without Ursus options so.

idk i just feel like after a certain point of seeing how Gwyn’s basically falling apart over all this Ursus really should’ve considered having that difficult Discussion bc that boy was Not getting better on Ursus’ Plan A

also the whole dismissively invalidating ur kid’s struggle is not a good look Ursus

i love him and absolutely believe he is definitely Trying His Best but he’s #Problematic_Dad for sure

that bit where Ursus notices Josiana as if for the first time and does that little bow to her oh my goodness XD

also him just trying so hard to keep it together in the lead-up to Born Broken. debating whether Ursus sticking his head through the curtain is the funniest part of this show. probably not but it’s real close

Dea’s so pretty and i love her outfit u-u

and her blue makeup

and her lovely lovely eyes like wow she’s Perfect

this girl is in her element and im fully convinced that in the version of events where Gwyn and Dea stay on as Lord and Lady Dea does some addressing of parliament or whatever, has speaking engagements, she’s all kinds of involved.

there’s tears in Ursus’ eyes during this bit and i don’t agree w/him but i do feel bad for him. he does want to do right by these kids but he’s just...it’s not working out for him because he can’t have it both ways.

i mean genuinely tho Ursus is so desperate to forget/bury/escape/move on from the past but in adopting Gwyn and trying to be a family and a fresh start for him...that shut down any chance of that actually happening.

no but fr Ursus’ face when Dea says “it doesn’t keep us safe, Father, it turns us against you” which is like. probably the exact thing he’s afraid of happening if they ever learn the truth.

*strums lyre* it’s a sad tale, it’s a tragedy!

Musical Ursus is fully a good dude who did one Stupid Thing and spent the rest of his life trying to control the damage only to make it Worse and then he died and i’m so! 😭

at the end of the second 30minutes but im keep going

Dea and Gwyn are holding hands so intently im feeling feelings about

harmonyyyyyyyy

ngl though i wonder if given Ursus’ “dear god, you pick your moments” and “who did what to you” if maybe this is something that’s just been festering and hasn’t been verbally brought up until the show’s events

“What do you want?! BLOOD?!” i mean u did script him as saying he wants to kill a man

“I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know” i mean technically that’s true bc technically Gwyn does know, he just doesn’t remember, which is pretty much the same as not knowing but ayyyyyyyyyy

would love to know what Ursus thought was coming when Gwyn said “I can only tell them what I know I am” like

wait no but “I can’t tell you anything you don’t already know” being followed by “I can only tell them what I know I am” idk how to say but oh heck oh heck oh heck heck oh no.

but yeah Ursus’ little glances at Gwyn and then the Turn as Gwyn starts to sing. i just wonder what Ursus is thinking just then

ohhhhhhhhh wait a minute now. stars stripped from the sky. the play on the lyrics from within Ursus’ show. the conversation they just had. is Freak Show (partially?) a vaguepost at Ursus 👀

no but the Wiggle before that next to last “watch me smile” tho

needs the backbend 🍹

hello Puppet Helmet Thing. i’ve developed a fondness for you, you unexplained and kind of weird yet near-infinitely interpretable element of the show.

and cutting here for length uwu

[daz4i]

💜 smth that makes u super happy!!

🥺 thank you!

send me a 💜 and i’ll ramble about something

i’m! gonna ramble abt haikyuu (and specifically its good writing choices) bc special interest really does give me that sweet sweet serotonin

i think most of the main and secondary cast’s timeskip job choices were super on point, but one i wanna highlight is kuroo’s

ik some people don’t like it, some ppl think it came out of nowhere, but idk imo it’s the one that makes more sense considering his role in the story

he doesn’t have an arc or really changes in any way. but he changes others. his role is p much 100% mentor (along with generally being fun and contributing to comic relief moments here and there, usually with bokuto involved)

he helps multiple characters - kenma, tsukishima, lev, even hinata - change and grow and go through their own arcs, teaching them to love volleyball or how to work in a team or how to be better in a way that helps build their joy with the game 

i’ve seen one person say that this moment was probably the one that made kuroo want to work towards getting more people into volleyball and tbh i agree. seeing kenma, who never really took much interest in vball, saying he’s having fun and thanking him for getting him into it... that must’ve been huge. no wonder he starts crying the very next page lmao

and this is after an arc that showed him also go head to head with tsukki, and the chapters highlighting that were called “teacher and student” for a reason! this both helps establish kuroo’s role in the story as a whole - teacher, mentor - and showed another step in tsukki’s arc - surpassing his teacher, being highly skilled on his own and working better in a team, which are all things kuroo contributed to

combining that with how kuroo’s story started - nekomata lowering the net to make volleyball easier for kids to play, thus making it easier to kuroo to get back into it and grow out of his anxiety and insecurities through something he loved - it only makes sense for him to want to do the same for other kids who are just like he used to be, or just like his best friend was, or like any of his disciples along the way were!

so. yeah this is why i think this job is perfect for his role hehe

(i generally love his role in the story a lot, bc it’s really interesting tbh! especially considering how different he is from other mentor characters, both in other franchises or haikyuu as well! part of it comes from him just being younger, only one or two years older than his mentees, but also because of his more carefree vibes and the comic relief contribution i mentioned earlier, along with him also fulfilling another role in addition to being a mentor and that is a rival - tho mostly for daichi, bokuto, and daishou heh. it’s a super interesting combination but hq is really good at playing with tropes and roles so it’s no surprise kuroo is such a loved character when he’s enjoyable AND contributes a lot to the story despite being a side character) 

[thejudgingtrash]

I wanna hear the Dom/sub discourse!!! Also love ur blog :) (I personally am a proponent of dom percy just bc I like that idea but I’d love to hear yours!!! I didnt even know there was discourse!) love to hear your thoughts and again super cool blog!!!! :’)

* ALSO WOULD LIKE TO CLARIFY IF IT WASNT ALREADY ESTABLISHED BUT ONLLLLLLY IF THEY ARE LIKE IN THEIR OLDER 20S!!!! ppl doing that in the context of teens is *gross* (previous anon who sent in the ask before) :)

Oh! Thank you for the compliments. I’m still not used at being so visible now to people 🥺😥😅

Good that you’ve added your points because that essentially brings down my issues with this whole spiel. I guess I’m going to play the other card. My main issues with this whole thing are:

A) the fandom sexualizing kids

B) people not understanding that looks/behavior in or outside of a (romantic) relationship don’t necessarily have to correlate with sexual behavior, especially when powerplay is involved

Of course Percy is easier to grasp for us. We have five whole books where we hear his every thought, follow his every move and think we get to know him (that automatically makes Percy not a reliable narrator, just saying).

For every book quote that puts Percy into the „Dom“ slot, there’s also a book quote that would be fitting for Annabeth (the dance from TTC comes to my mind). I can see both going either way. Despite them having mostly different personalities (Percy internalizing his thoughts and motives, whereas Annabeth is doing rather the opposite), they are very similar when it comes to leadership and end goals. Annabeth can range from emotional to bossy in a similar way Percy does. They just express themselves on different levels and get seen by outsiders in different ways.

Did you catch that? Did you see the hypocrisy that I just committed? We are using book quotes to justify placing characters that are in that context and in overall canon minors/teens/essentially fucking children in sexualized categories. Tbh, as much flag as you can give Riordan, I can’t blame him for blocking people who do this. Not every author is a fan of fanfiction and fan theory and what not.

People throwing these BSDM terms around without a second thought makes me cringe (tbh, I’m too lazy to explain the psychology of power play and kinks in that regard, just know that the instigator is not automatically the top/dom and there are many, many, many layers in a pp relationship). You cannot base sexual behavior from the canon itself. We know nothing about Percy and Annabeth in that regard to even justify the slightest. Ripping actions out of context to give them a label doesn’t work like that so easily unfortunately.

The only way to settle this question for once and all would be by simply doing this:

The whole debate that happened months/weeks ago (quarantine makes everything blurry in my memory) was just fucking stupid?

Imagine being a 15 year old, anxious, frightened girl. You’ve been deeply traumatized since you’ve been seven years old, you’re scared to death because you have a crush on your best friend and think he might perish (newsflash: of course you as the reader can foreshadow that in that context the series goes on. The characters can’t as they lack that specific insight. Percy didn’t have to wind up dead in the books, but he could have been severely mutilated, gone missing (guess he did later), bruised, etc. apart from his mental struggles. The super power part is essentially the only thing that’s keeping him alive), you give him a kiss because you’re too shy to admit your feelings for him and he’s being an awkward cheeky bastard before looking for a fight and then some adult asshole has the caucasity of calling you a bratty sub. Literally what.

Some anon (or a group of anons, don’t know which) contacted a bunch of people with that Dom!Percy and Sub!Annabeth stuff. Anon, Liebste, homegirl, my love, mija, if you see this please slide into the DMs because whaddefuck? Your thought process hotdamn. Where did you pick this up? Let’s be open about this discussion. You didn’t go from A to B, you went from A to Z and robbed Jeff Bezos on the way out. I mean what???

People using canon to justify their headcanons is simply something I can’t get behind in this matter. The main issues is that they are children/teens/minors in canon. There is no way around it. Trying to justify/back up some of your thoughts in that regard with actual quotes only makes it worse because you aren’t only sexualizing them in your fanon, but you are also automatically transferring these thoughts to the actual books and thus fore sexualizing them in canon. You’re changing the basis and narrative.

I honestly don’t get the obsession that some have with their teenage sex life? This isn’t a personal attack on people but I’ve seen this throughout several group chats and social media platforms like Twitter, Reddit, Pinterest even and of course Tumblr. And popular stuff like Riverdale, Euphoria, 13 Reasons Why and New Adult Twilight rip-offs á la Shades of Grey and that Harry Styles fanfic honestly don’t help with the portrayal of „curious“ teens.

This also isn’t a strict PJO phenomenon, it happens across all fandoms. The odd trend with sexualizing kids/teens or things intended for kids has been going on for ages. I get it, you grow out of the related audience but that doesn’t justify the means? Canon won’t change simply because you do.

Percy and Annabeth are awkward teens that have never dated anyone else and had barely half a year between pjo and hoo before getting caught up in another mess. I’m not saying that teens aren’t curious and don’t experiment, some do drugs and/or have sex (let’s be real the probability of something happening in the stable scene in MOA is very high) but still? Putting dom/sub labels on them is sketchyyy. Also throw your fucking sex god headcanons out of the motherfucking window. They are 17-ish, if you need the mental image of some weird kids flopping on top of each other for two whole minutes for some odd reason, good for you but I’m side eying the fuck outta you.

You can’t really blame Riordan for not being more explicit. A) the series is for middle schoolers (aka kids), so it’s not strictly Young Adult and there’s only so much you can do B) publishers/editors interfering is a thing (especially with society’s views of sex = bad and violence = just fine) and c) the probability of sexualizing the characters of his own creation in that sense might have made him uncomfortable. Better to play safe, than end up with a bigger mess, just saying. I’m all for the sex talk in a non-berating, (slightly) educational approach when it comes to that in non-adult literature. Or even just stating a sex scene in a mere sentence. (Karen M. McManus did an amazing job with portraying struggling teens with a right approach in One of Us is Lying. Stating it or making it very, very, very clear between the lines. Then again, not everyone can pull that off or wants to go in that direction).

In addition to that, seeing stuff like the infamous ”the sea doesn’t like to be restrained“ or ”Percy has handsome features which shifted from humor to anger“ quotes getting constantly shredded is so… Meh. One simple question: what does Percy having a mean resting bitch face to do with his sexuality/sexual behavior? What does him being annoyed and on the moodier side have to do with it? For me absolutely nothing. The correlation isn’t really clear and out there. Pissed Percy doesn’t translate into Percy automatically being the dominant (in Percabeth’s sex life)?

I mean I get it. We all grow up. Erotica is a wonderful genre and art form (if you waddle through the trash). You will never be able to get that out of fiction and fanfiction. That’s also neither my goal nor my place to decide. As cheap and stupid as it is, I’d rather have people intentionally aging the characters up and stating their headcanons in that regard rather than people attempting to abuse canon where the characters are minors in order for sexualizing them. There’s no good way to prevent this from happening unfortunately (unless you really want to abolish all explicit fanon stuff).

Whenever you post a sexy headcanon just hold on for a second. If you have abstract future headcanons sure, go ahead, personally don’t see a problem with that. But if you use source material to fixate your thoughts on minors in canon to give them sexual labels… I urge you to seriously rethink that.

Stop sexualizing minors. Please. Pretty please.

Peace

[shkspr]

100% feel free to disregard but as i respect your opinion on a lot of things... i was wondering how you rectify your sexuality (i feel like i remember u being wlw/attracted to women? if not sorry please correct me) with being attracted to fictional men. im currently struggling w figuring out my sexuality / whats comphet and whats not and me being into so many fictional men sows so much doubt :/ thx martin

omg absolutely i am always willing to answer questions abt this bc i know it is a source of anxiety for a lot of ppl & it has been for me as well & i am happy to help!! so right off the bat just to be clear: i’m fully 100% a lesbian as in i am only attracted to women & i only want to be romantically & sexually involved w women, including nb women (which i am) & trans women ofc. i am not an expert nor an authority on...anything at all, but i will tell you what i think & feel re: comphet & fictional men crushes.

as far as physical attraction or aesthetic appreciation, it’s as simple as the fact that there is no line btwn men & women in that sense? i can look at a man & know that he’s attractive bc ostensibly a woman could look the exact same, & there’s no reason for me to. pretend that a man isn’t attractive just bc he’s a man. 

now for like, Crushes, with an emotional aspect to them? for me it’s all about two things: 1. they’re nonthreatening & 2. they’re unattainable. & both of those things feed into the most important thing, which is that it’s not real. comphet crushes are not real crushes! they’re the product of my brain working around its own doubts & societal expectations to convince me that i could maybe possibly be attracted to a man.

the thing is, celebrity & fictional character crushes are halfway there, being unattainable by nature. & it’s much, much easier to see men as nonthreatening when you know very little abt them personally & you know for a fact you will never be in a position to be hurt by them in any way. & if, like me, you fixate on celebrities whose public persona is Perfect, then you’re good to go. you don’t know who they are, & you have a crush on an idea.

fictional crushes are similar, like. they’re not real & that’s exactly why they have the traits necessary for a comphet crush. i can confidently say that if real men existed who could live up to my image of my fictional/celebrity crushes, then i would probably be bi. but those men literally do not exist. 

so like, at the end of the day the questions for me are: 1. if this person were a woman, would it change anything abt the way i see them? & 2. if this person were pursuing me irl, would it change the way i feel abt them? 

when it comes to these crushes, the answer to question 1 is almost always no, bc they don’t possess the incommunicable “man-ness” that makes me not want to get involved w men. there’s really no better way to put it. & the answer to question 2 is almost always yes, bc “pursuing me irl” is one of the specific things that my comphet crushes lack which makes them nonthreatening.  

the bottom line is that i never want to engage in romantic or sexual interactions with any man in real life, in theory or in practice. it’s not the same thing as “political lesbianism” bc i’m not having those feelings & desires but choosing not to act on them. my having those thoughts is contingent upon the “acting on it” being a nonissue. not an option.

there’s also something to be said for exaggeration/joking esp when it comes to online posts. like in the sense that even if i’m talking abt a woman i don’t always mean exactly what i say. but at the end of the day, it’s just that... if you’re “attracted” to “men” under these very specific circumstances every other tuesday if you squint, then you’re not attracted to men.

[babybirdgyeom]

got7 as friends with benefits

– basically friends with benefits becoming real lovers – this is longer than i intented it to be oops – just a lil something to overcome my writers block

𝑀𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝒯𝓊𝒶𝓃 

– literally more friends than benefits – y’all always lowkey had a thing for each other – took you two years to finally make out though – but from then on y’all never stopped again – mark was like ‘oh only until we find smth serious’ – but you just both stopped looking for smth serious at all – oops – you saw absolutely no downside to this – good sex with someone you’re totally attracted to and can talk to about everyhing? amazing – so now it’s been like 12 months since this thing started – all different kinds of sex – sometimes it would be giggly as fuck, laughter and fun included – sometimes y’all would have sex while casually talking about everything – sometimes you just had sex to cheer the other one up on a bad day – basically always looking for any reason to have sex – you both are very confused how good this works out? – you’re pretty much like a couple but both of you are lowkey too dense to admit it – all of got7 knew about y’all, you didn’t even try to make a secret out of it – other fwbs only meet to fuck but not you and mark – he constantly comes over and stays forever, would never just leave after sex – right beside you when you wake up with no intention to leave until he absolutely has to – “mark??? do you think we act too much like a couple??” – he thought about your question for a second before lying down beside you – “naaaahhh” he said laughing before giving you a kiss “we fine” – you had no idea how y’all should continue because you definitely weren’t breaking this up – but you also knew this couldn’t go on like this forever even though you’d love that – so one morning you decided to adress this situation – he was so cute besides you with his morning hair you saw an angel – when you started to talk about “how to continue” he immediately started to panic – “do you want to end this?????” – you chuckled a bit – so he also didn’t want it to end – you assured him that ending this thing between you was the last thing you wanted – but also told him that you might start to look around again and meet other ppl – not bc u grew tired of him but bc u had to look out for the future – y’all were getting old and shit – mark didn’t like this thought at all – lowkey too shy to admit that though – “but we’re having fun, why should we stop” – softest baby you could swear he was pouting – for the first time ever he stopped and was like – hmmmm why aren’t we dating in the first place – never before thought about the idea of actually dating you – because what difference would it make y’all act like a couple – but suddenly he realized that it definitely would make a difference – 100% has no idea how to deal with this sudden change of things – after some time he tries to confess – highkey fails tho – “you know i love to have sex with you” – “i think we should have more than sex” – “what i’m trying to say is------------uuuuuuhm....” – stops and just starts kissing you – but more passionately and full of love – he smiled into the kiss which made ur heart beat 10x faster – you decided to help him out a bit – “i like you too mark”

𝐼𝓂 𝒥𝒶𝑒𝒷𝓊𝓂

– when the thing between the two of you started jaebum was sooo sure he’d be fine with it – you’ve been close to him since high school, always in the same group of people – somehow though you always were friends but nothing more – maybe bc y’all were too busy with other people mostly – but you definitely became good friends in the last few years – when he was suggesting this whole idea to you you were like – jb why u tryna ruin our friendship like that – but he assured you that sex couldn’t ruin your friendship – it would just be the cherry on top – now he’s not too sure about it anymore – he loves the sex for sure and wouldn’t want to miss it for anything – but this boy started to get a bit frustrated and insecure about the blurred lines between you and him – highkey has a crush on you and hates it – tries to hide it as good as possible – you were 100% sure jaebum was the best lover you could have – but also... damn he’s cute? and lovely? and so funny? – when he smiles your heart goes whoosh – but you always tried to ignore those thoughts – because how cliche would it be to fall in love with your fwb – you told yourself on a daily that it’s just his dick game that makes you think stuff like this – y’all said that you wouldn’t just sleep with other ppl unless you met someone you actually could see a future with it – “if we horny we can just call each other” – one time you were drunk on a night out with got7 – and jaebum may have slipped a lil drunk i love you – and you knew he was drunk and didn’t mean it – so you both laughed it off but since that moment everything changed – feelings were involved and you both knew you had to face them sooner or later – but tbh he tried to do it as late as possible – so ofc jaebum was going home with you in secret like always – and your usually rough sex was different all of a sudden – jaebum could be sensual???? that was new to you – he apologized for being so soft afterwards hshshs – both of you were laughing and talking the whole night – you were almost certain that jaebum also thought this could be more than being friends – until he ghosted you for a week after this night – and you wanted to kill him, fucking idiot – but ofc as soon as he wrote you again you were like – yea no prob dude :) – bc sadly you had no reason to be mad at him – bc he wasn’t your boyfriend – and slowly you started to hate that he wasn’t – definitely made up for ghosting you for a week – “let me take you out to dinner i’m sorry” – tells you he had a few rough days – in reality he didn’t write you bc he thought it’s the easiest way to get over it – jokes on him he’s a fool in love and he realized it by now – has the hardest time with it – bc im jaebum???? in love??? that wasn’t normal – but you made him soft – also best ‘i’m sorry i missed you too’ sex ever – gets frustrated afterwards – bc he loves not only your boobs but also ur lil soft heart – goes down on you while confessing hshssh

𝒫𝒶𝓇𝓀 𝒥𝒾𝓃𝓎𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔

– no one knew that you two were kind of a thing – jinyoung never really labeled it as “friends with benefits” to you – one thing just lead to another one day and suddenly you all were making out in his bed – which was fine to you, no complaints – but in the beginning you were completely confused, not knowing where y’all stand – was this a one time thing? – were you becoming fuck buddies?   – he actually likes you a lot you were a hundred percent sure – but damn you knew him long enough to know how complicated jinyoung is when it comes to feelings – constantly has to talk to you about this whole situation – “(y/n) i’m bad for you we shouldn’t do this anymore” – “i don’t want you to miss the opportunity to meet someone you could like (y/n)” –  you just rolled your eyes whenever he started this nonsense –  not because you were annoyed –  you just wish he wouldn’t think that much and just let things happen – “we’re fine”, you always tell him – it was cute that he wanted the best for you but... you wanted park jinyoung – you knew this since a long time – you also knew one day he’d man up and ask you out properly – he just needs his time and you were willing to give it to him – and secretly jinyoung was very aware of this too – he wouldn’t just start screwing someone who’s as close to him as you – he cherished you and was more than thankful that you two didn’t need words to communicate – both of you hated to be so careful whenever you went out with the boys – “we should just tell them” your drunk self thought this was a good idea – as you were in a small room, pinned against a wall, jy’s lips all over your chest – “and then what?”, he asked placing another kiss on top of your breasts before continuing, “yugyeom and bambam would never shut up.” –  you knew he was right – but it would make things so much easier – “jinyoung” you said softly finally making him look up from your breasts – “you know you love me”, your drunk self said teasing him – he laughed before giving you a soft and sensual kiss – still chuckling he went down your neck again – “i’m sorry, i’m busy here”, he said avoiding the topic – but his laughter was enough for you – it just made you sure one more time that you were right about him – if he wouldn’t like you he would’ve said it – so you had to be patient with jinyoung – which was fine considering the fact that you’d still get to sleep with him all the time – he never left in the morning before you were awake – that would be disrepectful towards you in his opinion – it kind of was his way to show you he cares – because you knew he’d usually always sneak out immediately after one night stands – if he couldn’t sleep in with you he’d wake you up shortly to say goodbye – there was always a goodbye kiss involved even though he hated how cheesy that is – he couldn’t help it with you – he was constantly afraid that someone else might snatch you away from him – it didn’t matter that he knew you liked him too – it sometimes killed him that he couldn’t just man up and finally ask you out properly – he loved this friends with benefit thing you two had going on – sex whenever someone of you felt like it – but no room for fights or stuff like that bc you weren’t dating – months after this little thing between the two of you started he decided that it was finally time – you put up with his bullshit for long enough he thought – even though he still was afraid of commitment he wanted to try for you – also he knew that this one colleague of yours was trying to take you out – he couldn’t let that happen – another thing was that he was afraid you’d lose your patience – so finally after all he took the next step one night after sex – he was still inside you, his breath still heavy as both of you tried to calm down – his lips were finding your neck as his arm was around your waist – “i think i’m ready”, he whispered in your ear – “anal?”, you joked, making him laugh out loud – “i actually thought about making you my girlfriend.” he said, still chuckling a bit – “jinyoung”, you said surprised, not thinking it would happen anytime soon – he gave you a kiss, smiling into it – “i love you (y/n)”

𝒥𝒶𝒸𝓀𝓈𝑜𝓃 𝒲𝒶𝓃𝑔

– jackson wang was making you go completely crazy – you swear you were going insane soon – it started out simple – you and jackson met up every now and then to frickle frackle – you remember thinking you won the lottery – like look at jackson he’s a whole meal – eternal beauty mixed with a body that knew how to move – and wow, he knew what he’s doing – but that was the problem: jackson was literally perfect – you both said that you were friends with benefits and nothing more – well apparently to jackson wang that meant coming to you with your favorite chocolates – sometimes he’d pick you up and you’d drive around the whole night talking and listening to music – he’d never leave without saying goodbye – always texts you after sex even if it’s just smth small – “last night was amazing” – “hope you have a good day, don’t let your boss annoy you” – “write me if you need anything” – that perfect motherfucker straight up made you fall for him – sounds perfect doesn’t it? – but jackson just wouldn’t ask you out properly – it was all fun in the beginning – like damn y’all even had the same kinks – “this is all i need” jackson once said before falling asleep beside you – those mixed signals left you wanting more and more – within weeks you knew you were in love with jackson – what you didn’‘t know is that he felt the exact same way – at first he thought the amazing sex was just messing with his mind – but the way you looked at him and him only made him realize that this was maybe more than friends who had sex every now and then – he told mark about the whole thing and mark immediately was like – a giggly child which made jackson feel all giggly too – and as they were sitting on the sofa all happy you walked into the room – mark immediately stood up and out of nowhere hugged you – “you’re so cute (y/n)” – “wtf mark” – before you could ask anything he was already gone – “what was that about?” you asked jackson while sitting down next to him – suddenly he did something he never did before – his hand was in your hair and he gave you a soft and slow kiss – of course he did that before but not with the other guys in the same house – “jackson what if the others come in?”, you asked in shock wondering what was going on – he shrugged and looked you in the eyes, a satisfied smile on his lip – “they going to find out sooner or later” – “find out about what exactly”, you asked him confused – was he planning to tell the guys about your fuck dates – not that you’d care but it didn’t seem like smth he’d do – he usually never talked about his feelings – he was someone who showed how he felt instead of talking about it – “about my feelings for you” – you choked on literal air – suddenly you were talking feelings – so you weren’t delusional the whole time – he actually liked you – good for you tbh since dating jackson literally is like hitting the jackpot

𝒞𝒽𝑜𝒾 𝒴𝑜𝓊𝓃𝑔𝒿𝒶𝑒

– tbh being fwb with youngjae the most unexpected thing ever – you two been friends since ages – he knows your whole family and you know his – both of you were like it’s probs not a good idea – but you did it anyway – you never were interested in him back then – until one day you looked at him and realized   – wow youngjae rlly isn’t a boy anymore – he is a man now – suddenly you caught yourself staring at him at every party – blushing whenever he looked at you for a bit too long – he used to be so shy and cute – well at least that’s what u thought until he was kissing you roughly, pinning you against the wall outside of your friend’s home – but youngjae had many different sides to him – sides you never knew about before getting involved with him sexually – a cutie that always takes care of you and your needs – just wants you to enjoy and relax during sex – but 10/10 still knows how to get what he wants from you – sometimes he wonders how tf he managed to become your fwb – not bc he doubted himself just bc – he lowkey always had a thing for you – he also knew it probably was a stupid idea to go into a friendship with benefits with feelings from the start – didn’t care though at least he could finally have you – you both agreed that you were in it for the fun – no jealousy, no drama, just good sex in addition to your friendship – he was in heaven bc he loved how easy going it was – definitely wasn’t making a big secret out of his feelings tho – your lil deal never said smth about no feelings involved – the cheekiest of them all – sends you a good morning text every single day – always surprises you – you know no one would believe you but king of sexting – one time he wrote you that he needs one of those long hugs that turns into sex – and u were like HUH? choi youngjae? – basically this turned into your first of many sexting sessions – at the beginning you were 100% sure you wouldn’t develop feelings – uhh well by now you definitely had to admit you fooled yourself – one time while having very good sex you may or may not have called him babe – which maybe didn’t sound like a big thing but you usually never used nicknames – so midsex he just stopped being confused hshsh – he smirked a bit though, not able to hide   – “i like that”, he said giving you a small kiss – so suddenly you and youngjae were calling each other honey and babe – not much later you were resting your head on his shoulder in front of the boys – secret handholding at movie nights, sneakily under the blanket – until someday you just started casually talking about future plans together – the lines were getting more and more blurry – “are we friends?”, you asked him one night before falling asleep – your head resting on his naked chest, his hand playing with your hair – “yes, forever and ever” – his voice was soft like honey, he didn’t even had to think of an answer – “but are we just that? just friends?” – he let out a sigh, his thumb slowly stroking your cheek – “i don’t think you can be ‘just friends’ with someone you’re in love with”

𝐵𝒶𝓂𝒷𝒶𝓂

– you and bambam were messy as fuck it was almost amusing – everyone knew about the two of you – you even joked about it in front of others – “yoooo (y/n) rdy to suck this dicc tonite?” – starts laughing and apologizing right after – when it all started you remember telling bambam ‘just this once’ – until you found him in your bed again the next day – oh and the day after that – and by now you and bambam were constantly over each other – things were going really chill most of the time – y’all had fun, spent loads of time together – sometimes naked, sometimes dressed – y’all acted like it was no big deal and you were just friends – but every now and then you find yourself staring at him – wondering if he always was this beautiful – sometimes he laughed and you had to force yourself to think about something else – the members all kind of just saw you as a couple which was also pretty dangerous – one time you were texting with a guy from home – and jackson saw and was like – “bambam!!!!! who’s he why is (y/n) writing with him” – and bambam was like trying to ignore but you could swear he disliked it – but you never knew what he really thought – like whenever y’all were drunk he’d just be like the biggest flirt – you remember one time when you were at a party and making out outside – and he kissed down your neck and just telling you he loves you – ‘you’re drunk, we’re friends’ – at least that’s what you tried to tell yourself – ‘oh are we? i don’t kiss yugyeom like that you know’ – but then y’all never talked about it again – texts you at the most random times – sometimes all horny like – ‘i am in front of your house and coming upstairs get undressed’ – other times just in the middle of the night like – ‘did you know that cats sleep 16hrs a day?? i’m jealous’ – ohh talking about jealousy – bambam’s biggest flaw – he hated how jealous he was like he knew it was a problem – especially considering the fact that...y’all are not a couple – you talked to him several times about it – mostly bc u liked to tease him – and he was so shy and cute about it you never saw him like that – “listen i know!!! it’s stupid” – basically he’s just so jealous because you are not his – and if you meet someone else he’ll lose this fwb relationship – hates to admit it but he actually likes the thing you two have going on – “it’s chill” – you hit him “chill? what a nice way to describe having sex with me” – he laughed and tried to change the topic – but you wouldn’t let him – “bambam, do you like me?” – he just rolls his eyes – “ofc i do why would i sleep with you” – “but do you like like me?”, you asked teasing, looking at him with big eyes – “i changed my mind i fucking hate you” – breaking news: he didn’t hate you – he liked you so much it was k i l l i n g him – one time he dreamed of you – nonsexual – it was just you and him looking at the stars and you confessed – ever since then it was all he could think of when he saw you – but ofc he always played it cool in front of you – remember that one time he told you he loved you when he was drunk – truth is he barely drank that night – he knew exactly what he was saying but he knew how drunk you were – secretely hoped you don’t remember – until one time you and him were watching a movie where a dude confessed to a girl all drunk – and you were like remember WHEN YOU DID THIS – and he was like “uuuhm nnnnO?” – so you told him every detail of that night bc u truly thought he forgot – as you were halfway through he stopped you – “(y/n) i know exactly what happened” – leaving u confused af – “why did you lie???” – “bc u didn’t say it back” you could swear he was pouting – suddenly you froze... did he mean it? like actually mean it? – you never even considered that he was serious – long story short that’s how your fuck buddy became your boyfriend

𝒦𝒾𝓂 𝒴𝓊𝑔𝓎𝑒𝑜𝓂

– both of you have absolutely no idea how this could have happened – you never planned to even have sex in the first place – but the way he danced got you and the way you smiled got him – you decided to get rid off the sexual tension before it became unbearable – jokes on you bc it just made you want to have more – so you two found yourselves in the same situation over and over again – enjoying a night together and having endless fun – once the two of you started you wouldn’t stop – like there were times when you were just up all night having sex – with cute breaks in between where your head was resting on his bare chest – his hand tangled in your hair – it always feels so right even though it seemed so wrong – you and yugyeom definitely were trapped in this situation – of course the easy solution would’ve been to just date each other – but neither one of you dared to say it out loud – you hated when he left the next morning – yugyeom also hated that he had to leave – both of you were always afraid that this could be the last time before everything ends – dramatic headasses tbh – but once his lips touched yours you couldn’t get enough – no one knew about your secret little thing – which turned out to become pretty hard – you always had to sneak away in private – bambam and jackson were constantly on the mission to get you a boyfriend which didn’t make it easier – yugyeom wouldn’t admit it but he hated it when they tried to set you up – not even bc he wanted you just bc they were being so noisy about it – at least that’s what he told himself over and over again – long story short you two were obviously into each other – and the amazing chemistry you had in bed made it even harder to act like you didn’t – two weeks after your first kiss with yugyeom you already feared that it’s gonna be over soon – one time in the middle of the night u just had to wake him up to talk – “yugi i rlly don’t want this to ruin our friendship” – he immediately took your face in his hands, giving you a big smooch on your forehead – “i’d never let anything or anyone ruin us...especially not myself” – you often wondered how one night you could just have sex for 6 hrs – and the next night you wouldn’t even kiss, just both in bed, talking, laughing, making memories – he was always so sweet to you – making you feel more loved than any of the guys you actually dated – waking up next to him in the morning could end in two ways – dick sucking or cuddle sessions – you were both with fine – kingggg of eating you out tbh he could do it for days – and as much as you enjoyed the sex – and also the affection – and just being with him – you slowly gave up on the thought that he’d actually like you or ask you out – it was hurting you a bit if you were honest – so one day you decided for the sake of your friendship and your heart you needed to end this – “no why would we end this?” – the horror on his face was real – “(y/n), don’t you like me anymore?” – it broke your heart – “i think i like you a bit too much” – he took your hand, making your heart flutter – “then why would you end this rather than take the next step?”

[sheonvinyl]

the snl standby line ~experience~

um. wow.....

so i’m making this post mostly for myself and to have a documentation of these memories while its all still pretty fresh in my brain, but i figured i would share it on here too just in case anyone wanted to read it or chat about it all w me. (side note: if u were in the line too PLS hit me up we MUST discuss)

basically, long story short is my friend and i slept on the streets of nyc for three nights in below freezing degree weather, got standby tickets for the live show and were able to get in......like i was THERE. for the snl LIVE taping. 

feel free to keep reading below the break if you want an extremely detailed description of the whole ordeal and my personal experience that no one asked for dsjkhfksdjh

to be frank our journey did not start out as we had originally planned lmao. when harry announced that he was doing double duty my friend and i immediately were like. let’s start planning bc we’re 100% going. that resulted in a lot of amazon prime orders and reading up on blogs about tips and tricks in order to plan. we were trying to gauge how far in advance we were going to have to get in line in order to have a good chance. we got a lot of our info from a twitter account/blog run by these three women who have been to every show this season and been in the standby line every week so we trusted their advice. they have been so many times that they apparently have a relationship with the security ppl and are in contact with them. and obviously since it was harry this week, there was a lot more buzz about it and higher stakes of actually getting a ticket. people had been tweeting about lining up on MONDAY in order to be in the front of the line. this account reached out to people and nbc and said that security didn’t want anyone lining up before thursday and if people did, they would be asked to leave and not allowed to get back in line again. finding this out made us panic a bit bc we didn’t want to get thrown out for breaking the rules or anything like that. we originally decided to finish up our days at our internships on wednesday, head back to our apartment, gather up all our supplies and head to 30 roc around 10 so that we could be ready to get in line at midnight aka when it would officially be thursday. 

however, when i woke up wedensday morning amidst all the news about harry’s tour dates etc. there was an update that there were ~20ish people in line already. and that set us into a panic. we were confused if they were going to be thrown out or not bc they lined up before thursday, but periodically as we checked throughout the day security didn’t seem to be doing anything about it. so we made the decision to get to the line as quickly as possible after work. not sure i’ve ever moved faster in my life than i did when i got home and immediately threw anything i thought would be remotely useful into my duffle bag. the state of my room right now? despicable.

we make it to the line a little bit after 8 pm and after an initial assessment, we were around #70-80 in line. and based on that, we decided to stay and set up camp bc we thought our chances were pretty good. (for reference: when the standby tickets were handed out on saturday morning, we were 86th and 87th in line so the number definitely fluctuated based on when people counted us and people maybe being in the bathroom during the count etc.)

everyone around us in line was super super super nice and the ppl we met thru it will def be homies for life. we went through too much together not to be bonded for life ksjdhfksdh. shout out to aisha @teafull​ specifically !!!! we really did that luv......miss u and kristina already babes xoxoxox

wednesday night was definitely the worst sleeping-wise. our set up originally was a waterproof tarp on the ground and then a yoga mat that my friend used as a bed and then our two camping chairs next to the yoga mat. for the first night, i slept in the camping chairs using one to sit in and having my legs propped up on the other one. we each had two blankets and were wearing more layers than i could ever count. we bought a shitton of feet warmers, toe warmers and hand warmers in preparation, but we didn’t really get the hang of using them until the second and third night lol. i woke up probably every hour and a half on wednesday night bc i was either uncomfortable or just so unbearably cold. every time i woke up i made sure to move my toes around bc i was so paranoid i was going to get frostbite lmao. 

thursday was better. we actually got the hang of the hand and feet warmers!! we figured out that if we were wearing shoes they didn’t really work because they were being suffocated and they needed to be in open air to work properly. they worked exponentially better if we didn't wear shoes bc they were exposed to the cold air and heated up really well so that’s a useful piece of information out of this i guess?? sdjhkds. at this point i think there were about 150 people in line. the line wrapped from the back of the nbc building on 6th ave/avenue of the americas around to w 48th street as far as the nintendo store which ends right at the today show plaza (and it got even longer over the next two days). 

one of the worst things about the whole experience would probably have to be the incessant comments from passerbys on the street. they would look at us and speak about us as if we weren’t there. they would also film or take photos of us in the LEAST discreet ways possible which was very irritating. and made me feel like a literal zoo animal on display. i heard comments like “they know the show is on SATURDAY right?”, “they’re doing all of this for that one guy from one direction?”, “do your parents know you’re doing this?”, “you’ve got to be kidding me”, “they’re going to freeze to death for not even a guaranteed ticket to see this guy” and by far the absolute worst one and most offensive thing i heard, “they’re like the modern day homeless”. i could go on a whole separate tangent about this because it makes me so FUCKING angry, but i was very close to confronting some people because of the impeccably inconsiderate, insensitive and blatantly classist comments people were making straight to our faces. additionally some people in line were being harassed by people from radio stations (or people posing as employees of radio stations) that clearly had the agenda of making it seem like fans of harry are dumb and unaware of world issues etc. you can read a more well-written and detailed account about it all on aj’s blog here. but i’ll reiterate that they definitely chose the wrong group to mess with!! the issue was dealt with in record time and i’m proud of and thankful for all the people who stood up to that asshole and put him in his place. he deserved it.

i slept the best on thursday night into friday. probably because i finally had the common sense to buy GLOVES (someone lmk why i thought it was okay to come without them ??? ) as well as buy an extra blanket at a barnes and noble nearby. one of my roommates was also kind enough to bring me her yoga mat and two extra pairs of pants to add to my layers. those two extra layers 100% made a difference. not much happened in the line on friday besides a little bit of drama between a couple of girls at the front of the line who apparently left for 10+ hours that day and (to my knowledge) weren’t kicked out of the line. i don’t want to speak too much on it because i wasn’t directly involved in any of it and only heard it by word of mouth. however, i will say i think there was definitely some suspicious activity from some people that were in line who were for example, using lawn chairs (which are specifically prohibited on the snl webpage) and abusing their break times. 

at 7 pm on friday, the line was shifted so that the beginning of it started at the doors to the nbc studio. i think they do this mainly so that the pages who hand out the standby tickets have easier access to the line? but i’m not positive. our new area was now on 6th ave, smack dab in front of the rear end of 30 roc, basically where the line had originally started. with the amount of people in line (probably around 200 or so at this point on friday) it STILL wrapped around to west 48th even after the shift. and then not even 20 minutes after they moved us was when snl interns came down with CARTS of slices of WATERMELON and CHERRIES !!!!!!! when i tell you i lost it.....

i didn’t get a good picture of the cherries but you get the idea. one of the interns giving us info about what was going on said that harry “was very specific about giving you guys cherries and watermelon” sjkdfhksdjh. and because of his previous behavior w the kiwis i was like....well he’s not playing watermelon sugar then we’re just going to have to prepare for something else. and let me tell you, i have never been more happy to be wrong in my entire LIFE. 

additionally, a couple of men, who i believe worked for snl or nbc, came around with carts of soup for all of us. they didn't confirm or deny that harry sent them (which makes me think he probably didn’t), but the two options were either chicken and sausage or split pea. yes, that’s correct. SPLIT. PEA. when they told me that, i shrieked in their faces, “YOU’VE GOT TO BE JOKING” and they just looked at me so weirdly and go, “......no? like which one do you want......” skdjhfkjsdh. they definitely thought i was absolutely off my rocker (which i certainly was, but that’s besides the point). i’m pescatarian so i chose split pea, and if there’s one thing to know about me it’s that i absolutely ABHOR peas, but i ate it anyway. i had to use all of the oyster crackers as well as some pretzel crisps that i brought with me as a snack in order to make it bearable LMAO. however, regardless of if harry sent it himself, it was a really nice gesture and i’m thankful that they were kind enough to provide us with some food. the snl staff also sent down hot chocolate and coffee and pizza over the course of the three days which was very much appreciated as well!

we were a lot less separated in our new spot on 6th ave so everyone in line was able to hang out with each other a lot more which as really fun!! a girl near us had brought cards against humanity and a group of 7 of us played for what felt like over an hour or so which was really good time. aisha won and no, i am not salty about it at all !!!!!1!1!11!11!!!! 

it was really difficult to sleep that night as well because we were on a much busier road with a lot more lights. it also felt colder and windier despite windscreens that staff put up around our barricades (see the poor quality pic of my friend and i with one of them below LOL). i think everyone was really on edge for the next morning so i’m sure that didn’t help with sleeping either. we settled down to go to bed a little past midnight and i woke up at least three times throughout the night to readjust my blankets and sleeping position or check the time.

finally saturday morning came. my friend had to shake me awake at 6:30 am bc i was finally able to doze off again, but the panic in me immediately activated and i was UP and ready to go. we still hadn't come to a full decision on if we were going to choose dress rehearsal or live yet so we were definitely on edge. we basically wanted to wait until the pages came to us and ask them how many people chose live vs. dress so that we could choose the show we were more likely to get into. however, deep inside i know that we both desperately wanted tickets to the live show. we had been keeping track of other people who were farther up in the line via their socials and seeing what they were choosing too. surprisingly (at least to me), a lot of people ahead of us decided to choose dress rehearsal rather than live. in theory, it makes sense because you’d hopefully get to see more sketches that might get cut for time as well as “spend more time” w harry. my friend and i (who is probably the biggest snl fan on the planet, no lie) would’ve been happy with either, but we both definitely wanted to witness the show that everyone else was going to watch on tv. 

when the pages got to us we found out that it was basically split 50/50. an equal amount of people decided to do live vs. dress. for either show we chose, we would’ve been in the 40s for our standby ticket number. and because of that, we decided to SEND IT and sign up for tickets for the live show (and partly because all our friends in line were also sending it w the live show too!!!). we were tickets #41 and #42 and we honestly felt really really good about it, but we didn’t want to discuss it too much or get our hopes up in the event that it didn’t end up working out. 

after that, the actual standby line experience was basically over. we IMMEDIATELY grabbed all our stuff and ubered back to our apartment. our roommates were already up and they greeted us with lights up blasting through our alexa akjhfkdfh. saturday was also conveniently my university’s homecoming weekend, and as seniors in college, my friend and i felt that it was important for us to go. i won’t go into too much detail about it bc that’s not really the point of this whole post, but my friend and i REALLY had ourselves a DAY on saturday. i actually don’t know how we pulled this off. we ended up showering for probably 40 minutes each to scrub the grime off our body and then day drank from 11:30 to maybe 5 pm........like??? whomst???? luckily, i was able to squeeze in a nap before we had to start getting ready for check in at 10 pm back at 30 roc, but i was 110% hungover when i woke up. 

we got to 30 roc at around 9:30 and were told to go to the nbc store to check in. from there they cross-checked the name on your ID and name on your ticket and then lined you up in order based on your ticket number. i don’t think i realized how many people actually ended up lining up for the standby line until we were there....people had ticket numbers all the way up #267 or something. that’s CRAZY!! after a bit of waiting (maybe half an hour?) a security guy came out and told us that they were going to starting bringing the group up into the corridor and get the process moving. he made it clear that this wasn’t a guarantee to get in. the first 40 were taken and then after about 5 minutes they sent probably the next 40 or so (including us in the front of that second group). from there, we did a security check and waited in the hallway outside the peacock lounge (anyone who’s been to a taping of snl, jimmy fallon or seth meyers might know what i’m talking about). while waiting there we saw a few people trickle in and go through a security check as well. those people included zoey deutch (!!!!!!) - who was rocking this INSANE red plaid suit combo as well as the cutest bob i’ve ever seen - as well as GLENNE aka jeff’s wife who was also serving looks™️ with her outfit. 

security then moved us farther down the hallway closer to the elevators and this is where we all started getting really nervous. i had no concept of time bc my phone was running out of battery and i turned it off bc i was paranoid if they saw it they would ask me to leave skdjhfs. it was only a matter of minutes before we knew if we were going to make it in or not. the staff had us line up two by two and kept counting and recounting us. then one of them grabbed a stack of wristbands and counted us one last time before he stopped at ticket #30 and said “congratulations all of you have a seat in the show”. the energy in the room was SO CHARGED. he was handing out their tickets and was urging them to put them on as quickly as possible and then they were ushered into the elevators. side note: there’s rumors that lorne michaels (creator and head of snl) reserves 30 seats specifically for the standby line. so that might be why he originally stopped at ticket #30.

my friend and i were holding each others hands as if our lives depended on it bc it was really make it or break it at this point. a couple minutes later he goes down the line again while counting us and stops after maybe 15-20 people behind us and again goes “congratulations, you have a seat in the show”. my legs literally almost gave out. my friend couldn’t speak to me bc she was trying so hard to hold in her sobs. i had to put on her wristband for her bc her hands were shaking so much LMAO. they quickly usher us into the elevator and as soon as the doors close all of us in the elevator start screaming and cheering bc WE MADE IT!!! but we quickly quiet down because we had been told beforehand that if we were excessively screaming during the show that we would be removed. i’m pretty sure that during dress rehearsal the staff said someone was shouting distracting comments at harry during the pauses and they were kicked out. someone else was also kicked out for drinking which......blows my mind. but anyway.

when they elevator doors open we are ushered SO FAST into the studio and into seats. i almost got split up from my friend bc the page tried to sit me in a single seat and i was like “no no no, i’m with her”. luckily they were able to sit us together on the back wall of the section that was facing front. they weren’t actual seats, but rather a large cushioned bench. most of our standby line peeps were sat in the right-most section of the studio which was sad that we couldn’t sit next to everyone, but also glad that my friend and i were sat together. 

the taping started no more than 10 minutes after we got there. it all happened so quick and i don’t think i’ve really fully processed everything that happened. i won’t talk too much about the sketches because you can all just watch them yourself but i’ll talk a little bit about some of the behind the scenes things that we witnessed. 

1. the way in which harry RAN between scenes and sketches was INSANE sdkfjhsdkjfh. right after the monologue he basically LUNGED off stage. a staff member (i think its a woman who does wigs for the snl cast) was moving so fast past the main stage after the cameras cut that from what i saw, the way harry had moved so quickly made her TRIP and harry IMMEDIATELY scooped her up basically DRAGGED her backstage skjdfhksjdhfdjkshk. it all happened so fast i still can’t tell if i imagined it happening or not but it was crazy. either way, harry was on the MOVE. 

2. one of my fav sketches by far was the lamaze class one. harry did SUCH A GOOD JOB SFKHSKJDHFSD especially w the accent????? (he actually did so many accents throughout the show i’m so proud of him). he broke a little bit during the lamaze one but as far as i remember that’s the only time he broke?? which??? that’s honestly impressive, especially for the sketches/jokes they were doing (don’t even get me started on the Sara Lee sketch....). also i wasn’t openly jealous of heidi gardiner because of how harry was holding her and caressing her but i was jealous. i will not speak more on this topic.

3. the slow/ballad version of lights up.............BREATHTAKING. there was not a sound in that studio literally everyone was so mesmerized by it. it was honestly gorgeously performed and the back up vocalists did SUCH and amazing job!! the music stage wasn’t really near us but we still had a good view of harry himself and THAT OUTFIT. it was......chefs kiss.

4. when the ballerina photos came up on the screen there was an audible GASP that ran through the audience. i shrieked. i almost grabbed the woman’s hand whom was sitting next to me and i did not know. that is all. 

5. WATERMELON SUGAR !!!!!!?!?!?!??!?!!!!!!!! y’all. have i got a story for you. when the drums hit right before the first “high” my friend and i went FERAL. we were on the edges of our seat the WHOLE song. i had such the urge to stand up and dance but we couldn’t out of fear of getting kicked out ksjhdfkjhs. the entire song we had our hands in the air grooving to it, i was flailing my limbs as MUCH AS I POSSIBLY COULD to jam out to it. additionally, if you watch the performance back you can actually see that harry’s hands are shaking and he’s fiddling with his soundbox on his back during the beginning of the song. we’re pretty sure that his earpiece wasn’t working so he was freaking out a bit. he started to dance a little, but you can kind of tell that he was a bit stiff, maybe because of nerves. then at one point, he looks to someone off stage to his right and he smiles at them and laughs a bit to himself. after that, he starts looking around at the audience up above and there are times that harry looks over to his left EXACTLY in the direction of where my friend and i were sitting/dancing. my friend who has literally ANALYZED this performance from watching it so many times claims that 2:15 is the exact moment that he looks over sees us flailing our entire bodies. and right after he looks over is when he really starts moving and grooving himself and appearing to look a bit more comfortable. while we don’t know FOR SURE if he really did see us or started dancing bc he saw us jamming out, i do want to mention that we were literally the ONLY people in the studio moving like that. we were in the back corner by the sound guy and one of the exits and sitting next to a middle aged married couple who were looking at us like we were certifiably crazy. we had a view of almost everyone in the audience because we were in the last row and as far as we could tell, we were the only ones that were jamming out as hard as we were. so take with that what you will. but from this time forward, i will go on with my life believing that my uncontrollable bodily reactions to hearing watermelon sugar LIVE perhaps made dear harold feel a little less nervous and more comfortable to do his thang :-)))))

i don’t think i’ve clapped harder for anything in my life than i did when he finished performing watermelon sugar and when he signed off the show. i teared up watching him go around to his band and all the cast members giving them the BIGGEST hugs. you can clearly tell that every single person on that cast had the best time with him this week. heidi and cecily both mentioned in their instagram posts about how agreeable he was to everything and how he has to come back to host again. it was clear that he had SUCH a fun experience and he did SO WELL!!!!! i have no doubt in my mind that he is going to host (or do double duty) again at some point in the future. so to those who were in the standby line and didn’t make it in to the taping for live or dress, don’t lose faith. there will for SURE be another opportunity to do this whole thing again. i am so so proud of everyone who was brave enough to face the elements for even a chance to get a standby ticket over these past couple days. you’re all so strong and such warriors. this is certainly not the last time he’ll be doing this. 

as grueling and testing as the whole camping out on the streets and standby ticket experience was, i would do it all over again in a heartbeat. i’m a senior in college and was privileged enough to be able to skip some classes and call out of work in order to do this. i figured that this time in my life is probably one of the only chances where i’ll be able to actually drop everything and sleep on the streets for three days to see one of my favorite people in the world. and in the end, it was all worth it. i couldn’t be prouder of harry and what an amazing job he did last night. this journey is something that i will cherish forever (and will definitely be telling my kids about in the future).

feel free to message me or drop in my inbox if you have questions or want to come chat about it all ! thanks to anyone who actually had the patience to read this whole thing. i’m so sorry for how unbearably long this was dkjfhsdkjhsdk. much love to you all. treat people with kindness :-)