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#bc. like. i mean. it's all well and good now. and i'm not bored. idk if i'll ever be bored.
svtskneecaps · 2 years
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hm. ah.
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officialdaydreamer00 · 9 months
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Dear Star Child, if this letter could see it's way to Idia Shroud, I would be most grateful. If you could get the gummy sharks to Idia I would be very happy, but the rest of the sweets are for you ^w^
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Dear Idia Shroud,
Wow, it has been a while since I've written a letter that's not for school. Nvm, I have never written a letter outside of school; guess I'm finally putting that knowledge to use… Oh where to to begin, I'm rlly bad at doing the whole social thing yet if you would let me I'd be yapping on for eternity but luckily this is a letter and I have to condense it.
Well, Happy New Year! How the sale going? From what I can see into your world it looks amazing especially Ortho's gear. I'm always so impressed that someone was able to make a robotic body that ranged in movement-- here it feels like we just barely started to touch on robotics here, yet you are designing outfits for Ortho like it's nothing. Honest question, did you bless me with luck for the gacha or something did you know I fell like right when the clock hit midnight or someth, but srsly getting three SSRs without even indenting on getting them is something? I had to get a blessing from you or something. My irl would say that is a blessing from you… they have said "At this point I'm scared your obsession with Idia will transport you into the game" well I do wi Imagine if that happened? I don't even know what I would do? I think I would miss my friends but idk if they would miss me.
ANYWAYS, thats sad, moving on. I could have actually missed all of this I could have been boring and sad and still stuck on my utdr phase. Though it wouldn't be too bad Undertale and Deltarune still have th- WAIT YOU ARE A PURE SOUL-- FREE FROM UNDERTALE SPOILERS. Well I know whats happening if I ever get isekai'd. Gosh I would love to actually sit beside you and watch you play games. It's almost fascinating watching someone who is good at games play… Ehe.. I rlly don't know how to end this? Thx for existing please continue to do that.
P.S. Rlly srry for an typos, I wrote this at like 3 am cause I woke up n couldn't go back to sleep.
~ Your moonlight
(HELP ITS 4:30)
oh I LOVE THE BLUE THEME!! had a bit of oopsie delivering this letter but it's all good!! ( ^-^)/ *
Hey Moonlight.
Ugh nvm that sounds cringe please ignore that-- You know I'm not good with this thing either, so I'm gonna ramble if you don't mind. (I hope you don't or it'd be so embarrasing hhhhhhh)
I guess because of our worlds' differences that you'd find Ortho's gears impressive. I mean, I still do, and he's my brother now, he's gotta have the best tech to accomodate his needs. Your world sounds lowkey slow if they haven't even scratched the basics of robotics yet. Still I gotta hand it to them for making a kinda gateway connecting our worlds together.
YOU GOT? THREE?? SSR CARDS OF ME??? IS THAT WHY I KEPT FAILING GACHA EVENTS?? BC MY LUCK WENT TO YOU???? /j but congrats ig. Hope my cards been helping you through the game(?) By the Sevens, that is so weird knowing that I'm just a game character in your world.
But anywho, ignoring that blatant spoiler of fandoms I've never heard of before, for some reasons, I don't exactly mind having someone like you playing games with me beside Ortho. Maybe it'd be easier to breathe than going out and socialise with normies ugh.
Help how do I end a letter Happy New Year, may you be blessed with luck through the gacha system ig.
Idia Shroud
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tags: @identity-theft-101 @twistwonderlanddevotee @ameleii @vioisgoinginsane @cave-of-jade
remember to reblog if you enjoy my works!! ^-^
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catiuskaa · 7 months
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new task: valentine’s day.
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PAIRING! seungmin x reader ; enemies/rivals2lovers!
SUMMARY: boring classes, boring classmates, boring assignments…to seungmin, everyone is boring even if he’s used to pretend otherwise, but you seem to get on his nerves. you, your stupid poem, and his stupid letter.
WC: 10.6k (OH MY FUCKING GOD)
CW: it’s like fluffy comfort because I say so, kim seungmin supremacy (YES), use of spanglish (just on the text messages bc yes, it’s not relevant to the plot, dw), use of text format for plot convenience (and a whole bunch of emojis and colors), the reader is stupidly short (which i know all about), use of cliché valentine and enemies2lovers tropes (BECAUSE THEY ARE FUN AND THEY WORK), academic rivals (we love to see it), bad student reader x good student seungmin (like bad/mean girl x good boy ish), mentions of the unability to deal with complicated feelings, mentions of masking feelings, slight hint of bullying?, mentions of being followed, use of (pet)names because I don’t like using ‘y/n’: little one, shortie, shortcake, smallable, pretty, (yes i’m just petty like that, sue me), hyunjin as a walking therapist, and the ending is almost a reference to a show i'm obsessed with (not gonna say it so i don't spoil it for you guys hehehe)
SPECIAL THANKS! To my lovely pookies @lyramundana and @tonks-21 for ideas and support, plus also, most of the classmate’s names are thanks to gorgeous gourgeous @stayconnecteed and her spanishverse series bc i’m so invested! Go check all of their blogs out! 100% recommend. son mis chicas españolitas, hehe<3
A/N: alone on valentine’s day? same for me, pookie! but dontchu worry, mister kim seungmin is here to help us out<3 (and if not, we can always help each other😚🫶)
[☆★🌷★☆]
{PROLOGUE: THE GROUPCHAT}
At first, you didn’t really know him.
To think for a second that there was a time where you didn’t know who he was made you sigh. Oh, how you wish you had never, ever encountered him.
…Kim Seungmin.
Some may say that ‘rivals’ or ‘enemies’ is a term that could seem too intense regarding a simple statement: that you two didn’t get along.
But no. Because those kind of words were exactly how you’d define your relationship.
And it had all started the first day of your last year before graduating. When you made the class groupchat.
> you created ‘Year 13-A 😼😼’
> you added ‘lucas🤺’ ‘atenea🛐’ ‘noa🫶’ and 16 more.
> you: guys help, am I missing people?
> you: @ atenea🛐 told me to create this group for homework n stuff but idk if I have everyone’s numbers 😵‍💫😵‍💫
< noa🫶: tía you’re missing two people no?
< lara💋: hala, new people?? 👀
< noa🫶: pero- they’re literally from the other group, girl
< abril🌻: you even know them lara
< abril🌻: se te va la pinza JAJSJA
< miguel📚: sí, there should be 22 people (creo)
> you: oh right, Lix told me!
> you: yeah i’ll add them now, brb 🏃‍♀️
Well.
Rookie mistake.
> you added ‘kim seungmin™️’, ‘hyunjin🎨’
> you: omg i even added everyone
< lucas🤺: omg omg
< kim seungmin™️: omg omg so crazyy
You rolled your eyes, smiling slightly as you texted. But that was just because you hadn’t talked to him before.
Now was a different story, of course. You wouldn’t smile, not for Kim Seungmin.
> you: @ kim seungmin™️ what was crazy is how difficult it was finding someone who had your phone number, lol
< han(gry)🐿️🎙️: fr fr omg
< lucas🤺: que es omg
< lucas🤺: ‘oh me gustas’ ? omg?
< lara💋: you’re such an idiot, asshole
< lucas🤺: ohhh you love me so bad 😌😌😌
< isabel🌸: she knows better lol
< lucas🤺: dude, you’re my sister
< lucas🤺: shouldn’t you be backing me?
< isabel🌸: there’s a fee for that, dude.
You giggled at the stupid teasing, used to your mates’ shenanigans that never ceased to make you laugh.
But then, he replied.
< kim seungmin™️: @ you the only difficult thing here is you reaching graduation
Your smile faded.
You read that once more. Then again. And another time.
You chuckled dryly.
What was this guy on about?
> you: ah? wdym?
You remember thinking that maybe he was joking. That maybe he was someone who talked to people with a lot of harsh remarks without really meaning them. That maybe he was trying to be funny, or something.
Other texts showed up, but Kim Seungmin —named like so in the contact Felix had shared to you— wasn’t replying.
< minho🐈: guys wtf it’s 00:12
< lucas🤺: oh he uses the other clock
< lucas🤺: so its am-pm for us but not for you
< lucas🤺: think you’re special? wanna fight?
< noa🫶: lucas just shut up and go to bed
< han(gry)🐿️🎙️: damn right 🛌🛌🛌
< miguel📚: guys, stop texting 😓
> you: yeah guys lol
< minho🐈: no u started this
< minho🐈: u shush
You snickered softly, used to Minho’s humour, quickly playing along.
> you: ?! unfair ☝️🤓
< kim seungmin™️: no, minho’s right for once
< kim seungmin™️: you should shush
< kim seungmin™️: you’re less annoying when you’re quiet
You frowned at your phone, your face contorted in angry confussion.
Who did this guys think he was?
With a huff, you typed a rapid “gtg guys!”, ignoring Seungmin’s texts, and quickly settled your phone back on your pocket, getting off the bus and finally arriving home.
You groaned, the text that that Seungmin idiot had sent still rolling in your head even after you laid in bed. You passed your hands through your hair.
“Difficult to reach graduation?” You mumbled, eyes fixated ln the chatroom the sentence feeling like acid in your mouth.
Kim Seungmin wasn’t ready for how difficult his last year was going to be, solely for his stupid text message.
[☆★🌷★☆]
{ACT 1: NOT A LOVEFOOL… YET}
To be in the same class group than him was slightly tolerable.
Is what you’d like to say if you were in a good mood. But it wasn’t the case.
You were mad. As fuck.
“I just need you to give it a chance,” Miss Fernández stated once more, and you had to hold back to not roll your eyes at her.
“But Miss. I know that this subject is difficult and that he could, uh, help me out with the project,” you muttered reluctantly, because on normal circumstances, you wouldn’t go as far as to let Kim Seungmin help you with chemistry. Not ever.
You weren’t in need of help that desperatly.
And that was a fact, not a matter of ifs, buts, or maybes. That was an absolute. Something that lovely-yet-not-so-much teacher Lucía Fernández, spanish accent and all, was not getting.
“Listen. We both know that your grade is the best I can offer considering your behaviour in my class, despite of your average knowledge of the subject. And in this case, I am offering to set that aside if you work on these following assignments with your classmate Seungmin.”
Her harsh tone was also an absolute, and that made you clench your jaw. You blamed Lucas for her attitude towards you —after all, that one accident with a Bunsen Burner had been mostly his fault—, but you breathed in, trying to offer your most pity-inducing grin.
Judging by her glare, it wasn’t working.
“Miss, I—”
“I’m sorry.” She didn’t look like she was. “It’s my last word. And I think that after coming three days to my office on each of your free periods, this is getting a bit tiring.” She sighed, adjusting her glasses by a soft push of her finger.
Nope. She definetely wasn’t sorry.
Witholding a groan you left her office, and huffed as the door closed behind you, swiftly heading to meet your group of friends when they got out of their Biology lesson in other building within the school grounds.
It was a chilly evening, maybe not too much from what one could expect for the first week of February, still one that made you hide your face in your scarf and you hands in your jacket pockets.
You settled your headphones where they belonged, humming to the music to hold back the need to rant and rave against your chemistry teacher, when your phone dinged.
< henry li🫧: everything ok? saw you in lucifer’s office rn
< henry li🫧: did you do smth again? you cheekyyy 🙊
You gingerly laughed, and started typing out your answer, when, out of nowhere, you bumped against someone, making all of the books that they were carrying fall down of their grasp.
You pursed your lips, then pressed them in a thin line. Staring at their— his back, you saw that his backpack was almost empty. Why the fuck would he carry all of his books on his hands then?
The guy had quickly bent down to get his books back, and you followed too, taking your headphones off and quickly trying to prevent the papers from getting wet because of the floor, that was damp from the rain before, when your hands softly brushed against each other, still, you forced yourself to ignore it.
“I’m so…” the word dissapeared in your mouth.
“It’s ok, don’t… oh.” He blinked, his face showing nothing. For fuck’s sake.
Why did it always have to be him?
He swiftly took all of the things from you, as if your touch could be worse than the wet floor. You frowned, feeling a cold shiver trail up your spine, and you crossed your arms in front of you, struggling to seek some warmth.
“Watch it, little one.” He mocked with a light smirk. “I might accidentally step on you one day.”
You looked at him through your eyelashes. What. An. Idiot. You passed a hand through your hair, chuckling dryly.
“I-,” you sighed, shaking your head sideways. “Nah, you know what? I don’t have time for this crap.” You smiled at him widely, full of sarcasm.
But just when you were about to leave, you felt a tug at your sleeve, the fabric of your shirt not thick enough to hide the warmth of Seungmin’s grasp on your forearm. You frowned, confused at the lack of any uncomfortable feelings because of it. There was none, but rather a need to cover yourself with it and wear it like a jacket.
“Did you fix it?”
You blinked, trying to get your brain to focus on his words.
“Huh?”
He rolled his eyes, but his hand didn’t move an inch. “You said you were going to talk to Miss Fernández so we wouldn’t be partners, which is, well, so mature, congratulations,” he tsked, but then continued. “But did it work?”
You licked your lips and swallowed, your throat feeling dry. What was going on? You needed to focus.
In a harsh motion, you moved your arm away from his grasp. You forced yourself to ignore how your skin missed it.
“I… no. She settled. You- I mean… we…” the word felt awkward when it rolled off your tongue.
We? There was no such thing in between Seungmin and you. No we, no us, no nothing. And it was like that for a reason. One that you had almost forgotten with how softly his slender and warm hand had been holding your forearm. Ugh.
As you struggled to say those infamous words, your phone dinged again, and you mumbled a short “oh, wait,” and unlocked it.
< henry li🫧: leaving me on read, shortcake?
Seungmin stared at your phone, shoving his hands on his pockets when he saw you smile at the bright screen. He bit his lower lip. He hadn't taken all of his stuff out of his backpack just for this.
“So,” he licked his lips, and it almost shocked you the sudden roughness on his tone and demeanour. “Chemistry is easy. We can meet up on Friday in the public library. An hour or two should be enough, even for someone with a fun-sized brain like yours.” He chuckled meanly, the motherfucker.
Ever since that stupid text from him, you had made it your mission to surpass him, or at least reach his level, and to be honest, you were even succeding in some cases, like philosophy, art history, spanish, technical drawing and business studies. But Chemistry?
Chemistry would always kick you in the ass.
Before you were able to come up with a comeback for his stupid snicker, the bell rang, and you felt an arm laying its weight on your shoulders.
“Smallable!” Lucas laughed, then realized that you were talking to a certain someone and ful Ty ly gasped. “Oh my god. Are you two finally dating and I interrupted— AH!” He was interrupted by your elbow hitting his side. Noa and Atenea chuckled behind him.
“No. Seungmin was just leaving.” You huffed with a frown, but then you smiled, almost excessively, like a small maniac. “Right?”
But before he was able to reply or mock you, Atenea spoke, ruining your chances of kicking him away.
“But we all have English now,” she said, and if it had been someone else, like Lucas, you would’ve stepped on his shoe or something. “We’re going to the same place, we can go together.”
Seungmin felt you stare intensively at him. He smiled at Atenea, finding that he enjoyed having you look at him, reason why he loved annoying the shit out of you.
“Sure!” He smiled politely, almost sheepishly, and you bit your lip to hold back the need to scoff at his 'obviously fake' kindness.
Because except for you, the rest of your class —heck, probably the rest of the school— were smitten with Kim Seungmin.
Top of the class, funny, kind, and cutely introverted Kim Seungmin was just a dorky student who tried to get along with everyone.
But that was wrong. And you may not have any proof aside from his mean attitude towards you and only you, but you knew it.
Seungmin had to be more than just a pretty boy with high grades, and it was only with you that he proved you right.
You stayed next to Lucas, hoping that Seungmin would at least stay with your friends and ignore you.
But to your horror, he smiled at you, a pink dust on his cheeks. “If you don’t mind?”
Oh, son of a bitch.
“No… it’s whatever.” You huffed.
Because against his dorky self, to the rest of your class —heck, to the rest of the school— you were the quote on quote “bad student.”
Troublesome, mean, class clown? Check. You laughed at teachers in class with Lucas far more than what could be ignored, the dresscode had always been more of a guide in what to wear, unlike what most students usually followed, and you may have been expelled a bunch of times.
Even if you were somewhat kind to the people in school, and even if they all knew your rivalry with Seungmin, God forbid you were mean to him.
You wouldn’t see the end of it.
And he knew it.
Bitch.
So there you were, walking to English class with your friends plus innocent Seungmin —who no one had called, not even the ghostbusters—, who was snickering and giggling with Atenea about who-gives-a-shit. Something class-related. You couldn’t be bothered to listen.
Lucas chuckled next to you.
“Careful, Spongebob.” He laughed. “Some could say you seem jealous.”
…WHAT?!
“Of… of Kim Seungmin?” You snorted. “Are you on drugs?”
He ruffled your hair. “Sure, sure, keep lying to yourself, shortie.”
Finally, you arrived to class, but before you stepped inside, Seungmin stopped you, whispering in your ear.
“Yeah, shortie.” He teased, his lips almost grazing the shell of your ear. “Don’t be too jealous. We wouldn’t want everyone to know you love me.”
His whisper would’ve been almost enticing if it weren’t for the fact that it was Kim Seungmin the man in question, and he snickered, pushing his glasses back.
But then someone cleared his throat behind you two.
“Care to sit down? I don’t have all day.” Mister Holmes grunted, carrying a monster drink and a coffe at the same time.
That mas was slightly terryifing.
You squinted at Seungmin and then walked to your place at the back of the class, hoping that your cheeks felt warm because of how the teacher had startled you and definetely not your classmate’s honey-like voice.
“Pssst. Heeey,” Noa smiled teasingly, whispering with a smirk. “Pssst. You’re blushing…!”
“Shut up!” You frowned at her, but you were unable to hold back a smile. But it was because of your friend Noa. Not Kim Seungmin.
Mr Holmes cleared his throat, and finished off his monster, throwing it to the bin.
“So. I’ve been hearing from some students in the hallways that you’re all excited for saint valentines’ day.” He stated in a strong voice, one that filled the class with little to no effort. “And sadly so, I was thinking of putting an exam that Wednesday…” he faked a sigh, and you had to hold back a laugh, contrary to the frowns and groans that appeared in your classmates faces. Pfft, what a character. “Unless… you guys want to do something in true valentines fashion.”
Mr Holmes crossed his arms, laying back on his chair, his stare cold and face lacking any kind of emotions.
“Say… any ideas, Mr… Kim?”
Seungmin sat up straight at his name being mentioned, and you rolled your eyes, holding back a mocking smirk.
“I ugh… I wouldn’t want to bother my classmates with a lot of work, sir… but maybe… maybe a writing assingment related to the topic would be… enough?” Seungmin stated, his tone soft and shy, and there was even a blush that trailed up from his neck, but he stayed staight and firm as he spoke.
“A valentine-themed task.” Mr Holmes enunciated as he pondered. “It’s a… decent idea. Any complaints?”
You felt some of your classmates’ eyes on you, and you sighed, crossing your arms in front of you, remaining silent. As long as it wasn’t an exam, you’d accept whatever.
“With that settled, I’ll upload the task online this afternoon, but it’ll have to be written by hand. Be sure to hand in a picture of your assignment on time, or your final grade will be affected.” The teacher turned on his laptop, and started taking assistance.
[☆★🌷★☆]
Time had passed dreadfully slowly, until the bell rang and Mr Holmes dissmissed all of you so everyone could leave for the day.
“A valentine-themed task.” You huffed in annoyance as you stuffed your locker with books you weren’t going to take home.
“I thought it was original.” A voice snickered lowly behind you, and you slapped your locker close, smiling at him.
“Well, Henry. It’s no surprise your taste sucks.”
You chuckled when he rolled his eyes.
“I was waiting for your reply,” he mentioned with a soft tone.
You closed your locker, and you two started walking together. “Oh, sorry, I totally forgot,” you apologized with a smile, but he brushed it off. “Yeah, I was with Lucifer earlier. She’s making me work with Seungmin for this term’s assignments.”
Henry frowned. “And we hate that guy… right…” you chuckled.
“Exactly. We don’t like him.”
“So then, don’t do it. You were going to meet him to study, right?” You nodded, smirking slightly at him.
“We agreeded to meet on Friday to start, in the library.” You added, watching his smirk widen. “What are you thinking?”
He stopped walking, smiling at you. “There’s this club that opened recently. Been wanting to go have a look. Apparently, it’s like exclusive and shit. And it’s Friday.” His light-coloured eyes shined as he looked at you. “Meet me there?”
You grinned cheekily.
“Sure. Can’t wait.”
[☆★🌷★☆]
You hadn’t noticed Seungmin on the school bus until this year.
Because he had made himself noticeable, sitting at the back of the bus, a couple seats away from you, but oh, dorky Seungmin was always friend of everyone, sheepishly starting conversation with any kinds of people in the bus, no matter the year they were in.
Before his text, you had even thought he was cute as he gingerly chatted with a group of kids who were probably starting high school.
“Is it too difficult?” A little girl asked.
And it surprised you how he turned to her and smiled, almost tugging at your heart strings, eyes like crescent moons.
“It’s only difficult if you stop trying. And we don’t give up, right?” He stated cheerfuly, and all the kids shined at his sheepish and bashful brightness, high-fiving the girl that talked to him.
You forced yourself to shove those memories to the back of your mind. That Seungmin wasn’t real. And you didn’t like him. The real him. Right?
“Oi, Kim Seungmin.” You called, as it was only you two left on the bus.
He was surprised at your call, but only side-eyed at you, lazily raising his brows, signalling that he was listening. You frowned.
See? You thought to yourself. He’s mean. He isn’t sweet, nor cute. Focus.
“What kind of lame ass idea was that?” You huffed with a mean smile. “A valentine-themed assignment.” You snorted.
His bus stop was close, so he ignored you as he picked up his coat and backpack, but you kept on talking. “You know? Hallmark office called, they want their boring clichés back,” you mocked, laughing.
Backpack on and coat hanging on his arm, he stared at you, and waited for a red light to walk to your seat.
He settled next to you, still staring at you as you chimed mean remarks about his originality and such and such.
“Anything else to mumble? I couldn’t hear you from down there.” He snorted meanly, and you were too focused on annoying him that you didn’t notice his stare at your lips as he licked his own.
You rolled your eyes. “You’re such a lame guy. He gave you the chance to choose, and you chose that piece of—?!”
His lips tasted as sweet as his voice that day with those little kids.
You felt his hand slowly creep up and cradle your face, his eyes closed as he kissed you, and slowly, your eyes closed too.
It was sweet. So sweet. But what was it? It was a flavour that you knew. Its sweetness was so familiar, but you couldn’t seem to figure out what was it.
You kissed him back, and he let out a surprised whine as you sighed, your hands, which had been frozen on his shoulders, waiting for your order to push him away, slowly followed up and remained on his face, your thumbs almost stroking his cheeks.
You wanted needed to know what he tasted like.
But it was when your hands went into his hair that he sighed too, melting under your touch, that your brain clicked.
what were you doing?
WHAT WERE YOU DOING?!
You pushed him away, and your breath hitched.
He didn’t look like fake Seungmin.
In front of you was not the innocent boy who had straight A’s and was shy enough to not be able to say no to a lot of things, who sheepishly spoke up in class, or who treated everyone with a bashful kindness that was so endearing.
This Seungmin was different. His glasses had a bit of a fog in them, his hair was all messed up, and his lips were plush, pink from your tinted gloss and slightly swollen from your kiss.
This Seungmin was a wreck, all flustered and kissable, and he looked like a mess.
But it felt real.
And for a second, you wanted to kiss him again, yearning to figure what that kiss tasted like, the word for it almost in the tip of your tongue.
He panted, struggling to catch his breath.
“Finally,” he huffed with a smile, but his dark eyes didn’t match the mocking in his tone. A small part of your mind thought that they looked prettier than any light eyes you had ever seen. “So you were able to shut up, after all.” He gulped, still panting.
He moved away from you slowly, as you remained there, frozen, like a piece of art in front of him, cheeks blushed, lips flushed and parted as your eyes stared at him, an emotion much different from this evening.
He found himself enjoying this one even more.
“Eh… T-this is my bus stop.” He muttered when the bus stopped. Maybe it wasn’t, but he didn’t care. He felt like he would have the energy to run home if needed. “I-I’ll… see you tomorrow.”
You blinked as he stood up and walked away.
What…
What had just happened?
[☆★🌷★☆]
{ACT 2: UNDER THE STREETLIGHT}
After avoiding Seungmin like the plague all Thursday, only looking at his back when you zoned off in class, Friday arrived earlier than expected.
You hadn’t been able to concentrate at all, the thought of his sweet taste lingering in your mouth, almost letting you feel the ghost of his lips pressed against yours.
“Hello? Earth to… oh, you’re awake, Jesus.” Abril looked at you with a smile, but she was unable to hide her worried look.
“Of course I am,” you mumbled, shaking your head sideways. “What’s going on?”
“You haven’t even touched your delicious and totally-not-overcooked pasta.” Lara mentioned the cafeteria lunch as she poked it whith her fork, full of humour. “It leads to believe that you’re dealing with something far more interesting that the technical drawing homework, that’s for sure.”
You bit your lip, hesitating.
“Is it because Henry Li has been ignoring you?” Noa mentioned softly.
You blinked, puzzled. “Huh?”
He’d been ignoring you? Now that she had mentioned, maybe that could’ve happened. Maybe you would’ve realized if you hadn’t been so focused on Seungmin and whatever-happened-that-cannot-and-should-not-be-remembered-every-five-minutes…
…or maybe you should look for an easier name for it.
“Uh, no, he invited me to this new place today, actually,” you brushed your hair with your hand mindlessly. “But I’m fine. Really. Just tired.” You smiled at the girls, and joined in at their conversation.
After lunch, you separated from Lara and Noa, who had literature, and Abril, who had been hanging out with a guy called Jeongin from her photography club recently, and so you headed to the study room.
It was a quiet place, quieter that what you had initially expected for a high school study room. Matter of fact, you thought it was a pity that the school closed it after class, considering that in that case you wouldn’t have to walk to the public library.
You opened the door silently, finding that there were barely any students, only three or four people studying silently. You were heading towards a lonely corner so you could listen to music in a high volume without having to pay attention if it could be heard through your headphones. Or maybe, considering that it hadn’t been a lie and that you had slept like four hours maximum, you could probably rest there until the bell rang.
You snickered when you looked to your right, finding someone struggling with the technical drawing homework that had been assigned that morning, the one that Lara and Noa had been talking about.
You gently tapped the guy’s shoulder, but spoke before he even turned.
“You’re missing this incline here,” you whispered on his ear, your arms coming above his shoulders, placing your hands above his, placing the square and bevel on the right angle. “It should be seen, but with dotted lines, get it? That way the side-view makes sense.” You added with a soft giggle.
“Oh, right. T-thank you…” he mumbled, not facing you.
You brushed it off as weird, but your sleepy self wasn’t bothered enough to notice or pry, and instead smiled, ruffled his hair and settled in your cozy little corner, placing your scarf in between your arms and rested your head on it, merely “resting your eyes”, but only if a teacher happened to come and check on the students.
Seungmin stared at your sleeping figure, eyes almost wide. He felt like his heart was going to explode underneath the layers of flesh. His hands tingled, his usually warm and sweaty palms missing the comfortable coldness of yours, so soothing and relaxing.
Either you had completely gone crazy, or he had fallen asleep trying to complete the stupid assignment. He knew you were good at technical drawing, it was one of the subjects were he wasn’t. It wasn’t a surprise when several students started asking you for help on their papers and assignments, considering that you were one of the few who was able to receive praise from the teacher, a middle-aged man with no kind of vocation with kids or teaching, by any means.
But it had never happened when he was the one in need of help, had you ever considered the idea of helping him.
He watched you, puzzled, as he had never done before, and maybe it would be the first time of many because Seungmin found himself liking what he was seeing, dare I say mesmerized by the image before him.
By you.
Your sleepy figure was as calm as he had ever seen from you, sleeping with little to no care in the world. Your hair remained stuck in a ponytail, which allowed Seungmin to notice that it left the skin of your neck visible, and despite the voice on his head saying that it was a behaviour quite like a man from the Modern Ages, just being so fixated at that small bit of skin, he couldn’t help but feel bashfully amazed.
Suddenly, he noticed you licked your lips, your eyes still closed and your small smile never faltering, but that made something start to flutter in his stomach, as if a whole lot of butterflies had been awaken at the sight of you, tranquil, and sweet, and cute, and he forced himself to stop looking at you abruptly, wondering why he had done that in the first place.
Licking your lips only made Seungmin aware of how dry his were, and action plus the thought of your lips immediately brought back what had happened on Wednesday.
Crazy. He’d gone completely crazy.
He felt his hand slowly approach his lips and he grazed them with his fingers, almost able to taste your chapstick back on his lips. Because he had been able. All Wednesday night. And a small part of him wanted more of it.
He blushed, scratching his eyes. He hadn’t slept shit, his mind betraying him every time he attempted to close his eyes instantly going back to the memory of how you stared at him after your kiss, dark pupils, and red lips, and so ridiculously gorgeous that it made Seungmin wonder why whenever he saw you he resorted to his first line in code: being mean.
He never used that side with anyone. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t tried, because small, teasing and slightly unhinged Kim Seungmin had tried to be himself in middle school, and… well.
Let’s just say that it didn’t work like expected.
But everyone loved dorky, funny and sweet Seungmin. Even with the difference with grades, that had definetely not been appreciated in his early years, nowadays people would see that as a part of him, and he recieved praise for it, not only from teachers, but also nice classmates, who sometimes went to seek help from him.
He just needed to pretend for a bit. Smile here and there, and put on a sheepish act of bashfulness that despite it not being natural, it wasn’t totally bad. It wasn’t like middle school.
But then you came in the picture.
Something about you made Seungmin want to tease you. To see you finally look at him after battling in your head if you even should, and then, sometimes when you were mad enough, you’d glare at him, and he couldn’t help but grin. Your cheeks flushed in anger that creeped up your body, how you looked at him through your lashes or how you’d tease him back. The first time you had done that, his brain’s chemistry had changed, he was sure of that.
He didn’t care about the mean remarks, and that now seemed almost obvious, considering what had happened almost two days ago in the school bus.
But it got impossible to miss when Seungmin noticed your sleepy self shivering in your slumber. With a mental groan, careful of not making any kind of loud noise in the study room, he slowly got closer to your corner, and tried to close the windows near it. And failed, because the stupid windows were old and rusty, only able to move them a bit.
He bit his lip, arguing in his head. Would that be enough? No, it probably wasn’t, right? Yeah, it couldn’t be. Considering that you always wore thin clothing, always borrowing your mates’ jackets…
…it couldn’t possibly hurt to do a bit more, right?
Seungmin approached you further, and shook a hand close to your face, but you were dead, as still as a fallen tree, despite the sunlight that enetered throught the windows glowing on your face, the Sun in winter, that brought little to no warmth, made you shine in his eyes.
He’d see you in the public library a couple of hours later. It didn’t mean anything. He could probably tease you for sleeping in school later. Yeah. And then he’d ask for his jacket back.
Seungmin was lost in his thoughts as he carefully settled his jacket over your shoulders, and he froze when you sighed deeply, surrounded by a familiar warmth and a cozy scent that you didn’t know you had missed or needed until then, but you didn’t wake up.
He blinked when he noticed your phone in your hand, the screen suddenly turning on. He giggled at your wallpaper, which had a silly joke on it and a funny doodle of a banana.
But then his eyes trailed down to the notification that had made the phone turn on.
[3 new messages from: henry li🫧]
> sorry i didn’t get to see u yesterday, had to sort smth out!
> guys.its.totally.a.real.address.wdym.lol
> it’s the address for later, shortcake 😉❤️
…huh?
Seungmin blinked once. Twice. Nah, his glasses had to be deceiving him. Then, another notification popped up.
> can’t wait to see you ❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥
He winced silently.
Ugh. What a cringy choice of emojis.
Did you really like this guy?
He frowned, going back to his place in the study room.
Ugh.
He didn’t care, obviously. Why would he care? That wasn’t his business. Never was, never would be. Not like he was interested. Pffft, no. Not at all. Yeah, nah. That kiss had been a one time thing. Totally. 100%. He wasn’t thinking about it again. Nope. Nor did he want to kiss you again. Not in a chance.
Just… ugh.
It was just that… no. Scratch that. No further comments.
He sighed as he went back to his work, feeling a sudden inspiration hit him as he took out a blank paper for the English class valentine’s assignment, but not before he looked at you again, then shook his head, turning the music back on in his headphones. He started writing, drafting, and throwing papers away, getting slightly desperate at his perfectionism.
He sighed. His eyes trailed off towards you.
Slowly, words started to flow in his head. Pretty sentences, things that he had kept hidden in the back of his mind. Maybe it could be good to let it all out. It couldn’t hurt. Yeah.
So he stared writing. Vomiting word after word. And he finished earlier than expected, with two papers.
One was perfect for the english assignment. It was boring and dull enough to be handed in for a school work, but good enough for his perfectionism.
And the other… was something different.
Something that had only happened because you were there, in front of him.
He stood up, letter on his hand. He leaned against the table you were sleeping in, and settled the jacket further on your shoulders. He sighed, grabbing a pen from his pencil case, folding the letter and signed it.
Maybe it was a bad idea, he thought as he picked up his stuff from the table and adjusted his glasses on the bridge of his nose.
He looked at your figure once more before heading out.
It had been to check if you were still asleep, of course.
Just to check.
Yeah.
[☆★🌷★☆]
Your phone vibrated in your hand again.
And again.
And again.
With a groan, you silently accepted that there was no way you could fool an inanimate object into believing that you were still asleep.
But when you yawned and looked around and didn’t find the posters in your room, but rather a whole bunch of tables and chairs, your eyes widened.
It hadn’t been your alarm but a phone call that had awoken you.
“Y-yeah?” You mumbled, picking up the call and quickly taking your backpack and scarf and rushing out of the study room, taking a quick scan and making sure you weren’t leaving anything behind.
“I’m heading to the club now, shortcake.” A low voice greeted. “Are you getting ready?”
Who…?
“H-henry?” You frowned slightly.
You heard him snicker through the other side. “Yeah?”
Fuck, shit, fuck.
“N-nothing! Nothing, I, uh, I was just doing my make up. Y-you know.”
What? You frowned, even more this time. No, that didn’t make any sense. You always blabbered about how you never did your make up for clubbing because the one you owned was cheap and never stayed on anyways.
“Sure, yeah.”
It didn’t seem like he had noticed.
“You can head there before me. I’ll go there eventually, yeah?”
You heard him snicker on the other side of the phone call. “Ok, baby.” He cleared his throat, stuttering a bit. “Y-yeah, I mean, I’ll uh… get there in a bit. Don’t rush.”
Only then you felt that the wind from outside wasn’t freezing your bones like usual. You squinted at the jacket you were wearing.
“Henry, did you…?” But he hung up.
It probably was him. Yeah. That’s why he had called you. To make sure you’d wake up.
Besides, there were little to no people who’d do such a kind gesture towards you, and even if the jacket was pretty much your style and it smelled like heaven, it didn’t feel like something any of the girls would keep around.
So, why didn’t it made you feel giddy that Henry had given you his jacket?
You kept on running through the hallways and catched the bus that was usually there for students who had extracurricular classes, unlucky people who had to stay in school late in Fridays. You never had, using Fridays to be a bit lazy or to start homework sooner just to hand it in earlier than Seungmin.
Oh.
Friday.
Seungmin.
The library.
You bit your nails, staring through the window.
Would he wait there for long?
What was he going to do once he figured you weren’t going to show up?
Were you… feeling guilty?
No… that… that couldn’t be, you chuckled dryly. Mean decisions against Kim Seungmin didn’t spend too much time on the judgmental side of your brain. You just… teased him back. And he’d take it. And double it. And so on.
So why did this feel too mean?
Could it be because of whatever-happened-that-cannot-and-should-not-be-remembered-every-five-minutes?
Could the fact that it had been the best thing that had happened in a long while?
Well, fine.
Not just ‘thing’.
A kiss.
And for fuck’s sake, what kiss.
You groaned and grunted, sprinting home as soon as the bus stopped.
Why did it always have to be him?
You entered your room and burst open your closet. The jacket was cool, you thought. And if you were going to see Henry, you could just wear it and hand it back to him in the club.
It was vintage, but its warmth engulfed you as if it had been handmade. Its funky designs and patterns looked cute, and its grey color contrasted well with it. You chose the first dress you saw, a tight black dress with no sleeves that you would’ve discarded as too short if you had more time, but it wasn’t exactly something you could’ve bragged about.
Jacket, dress, high socks, boots, wallet, phone, keys, headphones… yeah. You nodded, checking all of the boxes in your mental list, and started hurriedly walking to the address he had sent.
You hoped you weren’t going to be too late.
[☆★🌷★☆]
“Pick up, pick up, pick up…”
“The number you are trying to call is turned off or out of coverage. Please, leave your message after the—”
You hang up, tired of hearing that mechanic voice over and over again.
You looked around you, and there was nothing that looked like a club. You had tried to enter the building that the address lead to, but it hadn’t got well.
A strange figure opened a small window and gave you a look, almost disgusted. It took you a second to understand that they were wearing a mask, with dark lace and other colours. But just when you were about to speak, the window slammed close.
You blinked, puzzled. Where the fuck was Henry sending you? What kind of club was this?
You had started to roam around the building, trying to call him —and failing misserably, because the damn guy couldn’t pick up the fucking phone for the life of him—, but now you were starting to run out of ideas.
It was past 12pm, your legs shivered with every slight wind that swooshed your way, and there was no one that was going to pick up the phone. Not Henry, that ridiculous imbecile, not Lucas, who always bragged about having his phone in night mode, so nothing would get to him until morning, and not the girls, because Noa had her phone turned off, Atenea was most likely sleeping, Abril and Lara hadn’t picked up either, and your list of close friends who could possibly pick up was… that.
And no one was picking up the fucking phone.
You were about to keep on ranting about how disgustingly bad this was turning out to be, but you heard footsteps coming your way. You looked around, but didn’t find the source. With a frown, you walked to the building again
Placing your hand on one of the windows, who were dark and almost impossible to see through, you could notice that in the dim light from what could be seen outside, Henry was well entertained with a certain kind of company, so much that he couldn’t even pick up your phone.
You closed your eyes and leaned your forehead against the tinted glass. Of course. Yeah. That made total sense. It was Henry, after all. He had always been known to be kind of an asshole anyways. It couldn’t possibly come out as a surprise the fact that he actually was.
You shook your head and mentally mocked him and the blond girl he was kissing.
Henry Li could go to Hell.
Guess there was nothing left to do now. You had dumped Seungmin, and Henry had dumped you. It was an ass move over an ass move. Maybe you kinda deserved it.
But then your thoughts ended in a halt, because you swore you could feel a shadow starting to follow you from a distance.
They were behind you, but not too close, and due to their hoodie it was imposible to distinguish their face.
So you started walking. Turning left. Right. Left again. Right. Just kept on walking. Don’t look behind you. They’d probably just leave. This had to be your imagination, 100%.
But when you took a peak, the silhouette was not only still behind you, slowly walking towards you, but a slight bit closer this time.
You swallowed dry, gulped, even. Your heart tightened in your chest. What kind of joke was this? Your eyes were tearing up. You were tired, and this was mental. Adrenaline rumped through your body, and even if you were already lost, you kept on walking.
You took your phone from your pocket. Think, think, think. Who could you call? Who could pick up at one am? You scrolled down your list of contacts, until for a reason you don’t fully get, your eyes stopped at a certain name.
—> seungmeannie
It couldn’t possibly hurt to try… right?
You sniffed almost silently, and pressed call.
One beep.
Two beeps.
Three beeps.
You started crying a bit louder, unable to hold it back.
“Eh, hi…?”
“S-seungmin!” You sobbed, smiling. It was the first time in your life you had been that happy just from being able to hear his voice, raspy and low.
“W-what?” He stopped talking, and you guessed that it was because he hadn’t figured out who was calling him so late at night. “Do you know what time it is, you fun-sized dingus?” He groaned sleepily at the phone.
You bit your lip and sniffed.
“Wait. Are you… crying?” His tone had changed.
“I-i’m sorry about t-this eve-ening.” You sobbed, failing to hold back the tears, hugging the jacket that was still on your shoulders.
“Are you drunk, little one?” You never thought your shoulders could relax as fast as they had when his soft tone of voice called you that stupid nickname.
“N-no, I… I went to this stupid club, with-“
“With Henry, yeah.” The way he said his name, as if he wanted to put that stupid bitch in a box and send him to the end of the world took you by surprise.
“B-but um, he’s not picking up my phone and I…” you gulped. Taking a peek behind you, you shivered. “I think someone’s following me.”
“Wait, what?” Seungmin had never stood up from bed as fast as he had done that night. “Where are you?” He asked to the phone as he randomly picked a sweater and his glasses, biting his lip as he struggled to put on his shoes.
“I… I don’t know.” You sobbed. “I started walking away so he’d go, but it didn’t work.” You mumbled, sniffing. You felt so stupid.
“Everything’s going to be fine, yeah?” It was the first time in the whole afternoon that you felt like that statement could be true. Because Seungmin was going to help you. “Don’t hang up. Tell me what buildings can you see. Try heading away from small alleys. I’ll find you.”
Seungmin rushed out of his appartment, not before scribbling down what was happening in a post it note and left it on his mother’s bedside table.
“T-there are some restaurants, but they’re all closed.” You started, dubious as how was this going to work. “There’s a road to my left.”
“Can you name any of the restaurants, little one?” Seungmin had a hunch, and he huffed, sprinting to the plaza closest to his appartment.
“I just passed by a Mexican, I think.” You sniffed, Seungmin’s soothing voice working like a charm and calming you down slowly. “In front of me, I think this is a Japanese… it’s called Ginza.”
Seungmin chuckled, feeling relief flooding his body. “Y-yeah, ok! I- god, yes, I know where you are. Keep walking straight ahead. There should be a park, right?” He started running, hiding the fact that he’d have to rush and make the usual fifteen minutes it could take him to arrive where you were and make them five.
He needed to see you and make sure you were safe.
“I… shit, yeah! I can see it!” You went back to crying, a smile planted in your features.
“I’m almost there. You’re doing so well, little one.”
You felt your cheeks getting warmer at that. Walking a bit faster, you looked behind you, finding that the silhouette was still there.
But Seungmin was close. Seungmin said everything would be fine.
“S-seungmin?” You mumbled at the phone, wanting to hear his voice, so soothing and warm.
“Under the streetlight, silly.”
You heard the beep that sounded when Seungmin ended the call, but he was there, tangible, a couple of meters away from you.
You chuckled, happy to see him for the first time ever, and crying away the pent up stress and worry, you ran off to him, and clung your arms around his neck tightly, unbothered at the need to stand on the tips of your toes to do so.
Seungmin stuttered, still panting from the marathon he had ran to get there, 100% baffled at this. But it was ok. You were there. You were safe.
“T-they’re still behind me.” You whispered against his chest.
He could feel your nervousness on your tone, how scared you were judging by how strongly your arms closed behind his neck, and hesitated for a second before hugging you back, his arms pulling you closer by your lower back, keeping you grounded and so weirdly safe in his grasp, and it felt so strangely comforting coming from him that your eyes swelled with more tears.
You couldn’t see or feel the person behind you anymore, but Seungmin did, somewhat clearly.
The only thing that his mind made up that moment is that for the person to leave, they’d have to believe you two did know each other.
And Seungmin’s heart beated loudly in his chest when your grasp loosened and you stood back on your feet, allowing him to see how your lip trembled, how you were holding back tears and how you looked at him with a million emotions hidden in the colour of your eyes. He had never seen you cry before.
His hands itched to touch you again, a sudden need to comfort you that overwhelmed him.
So he did.
His hands cradled your cheeks, his thumbs brushing away your tears, and he pecked your lips softly, smiling at your baffled face. His arms engulfed you in a comforting hug that smelled so much like the jacket you were wearing.
He looked behind you, and the silhouette was nowhere to be found. As if it had never been there before.
“It’s ok.” Seungmin whispered in your ear. “I’m here now. You’re safe. They’re gone, yeah?” His arms rested on your shoulders as his slender hands stroked your hair. “No one’s gonna hurt you now, pretty.”
And you started to cry on his shoulder, because not only then you realized how bad you had needed a hug, and not even the fact that it had been a hug from him that you had secretly yearned for, but because none of your excuses made sense now.
There was no ‘fake’ or ‘real’ Seungmin.
Whatever he was, fake or not, stood in front of you as he hugged you under the streetlight.
And you sighed as he cooed at you softly, because deep down you had known for a while.
It was time you came to terms with it.
[☆★🌷★☆]
{ACT 3: WINDOWS, LETTERS AND POEMS}
Wednesday. 9:56 am. 14th February.
Most of your classmates were still arriving from their next class as you stared at two papers in your hands slightly from afar, pencil in your lips.
You had discarded most of your creations all Monday and Tuesday when you finally ended with a draft you liked for the stupid english homework. It was nothing out of the ordinary.
But the letter in your other hand, however, was something you had never done before.
“What’s that you got there?”
Any kind of bubbly and nervous emption you had vanished at the sound of that low voice.
“Fuck off, Li.” You grunted in a husky tone, frowning at him and grabbing back the letter from his hands.
“Is it a love letter for me?” He chuckled, ignoring your behaviour.
“Why the fuck would I write that, huh?” You laughed, a chuckle full of acid, one that had much more hatred that you had ever said before.
Henry brushed a hand through his hair, and you couldn’t help but think he looked stupid. You had liked this guy? Ugh.
“Because today is valentine’s day, shortcake.”
You squinted and frowned at him.
“Swishing those dyed and damaged locks like a Loreal advert won’t make anyone fall in love with you.” You snorted, and realized the people in the hallway had fallen into silence, listening to your conversation. “Or maybe it worked with that blond girl in the club?” You pretended to ponder out loud, leaning against the locker behind you, facing him with confidence.
“Wait, what?” He mumbled.
You snickered, taking him by surprise. “Oh, silly. I was never going to date you. I kept hearing that you were an ass and figured that was right, because aside from me, little to no people talked to you. I guess I just felt pityful.” You faked a pout.
He clenched his fists, his shoulders tense.
“You’re lying.” He grunted.
You chuckled. “You wish I was. That blond girl didn’t steal my man. She stole my problem.” You heard some gasps from the people in the corridor, as they had formed some kind of circle around you two.
But then, Henry snorted, and cleared his throat, talking with a much louder voice. “So you’re not going to let everyone know about you and Seungmin?” He smirked. “I feel like that’s a bit unfair. Making it seem like I’m the bad guy and all.”
You tried hard to make it seem like that hadn’t surprised you. You were so surprised by it that you didn’t have time to react when he yanked your letter from your hand.
“Such sweet words, all dedicated to him,” he mocked. “I think these people want to know.”
“Give it back!” You clenched your jaw, your eyes dull with embarassment.
Even if he wasn’t as tall as Seungmin, there was still a decent difference between you and him. And with a sly grin, he raised the paper above your head.
You licked your lips, anger filling your body.
“Give. It. Back.”
But then he started reading.
“I looked at him as if he were the Sun, in that I never looked at him except in frustration.” He read out loud, moving the paper from your reach everytime you tried to reach. “I seeked his warmth, I complained when he was gone, but I never looked, not until I noticed he was leaving, and in the beauty of the sunset, I wondered how I had never seen him before.”
You stared at the floor, a blush spreading through your cheeks, coming from your neck.
“And that’s basically what happened.” You mumbled to Abril and Lucas over at a bench in the school grounds, hours after that whole thing had happened.
“What?!” You flinched at Abril’s loud voice. “I’m going to kill him. I am so going to murder that nasty ass bitch.” She threatened to stand up, but Lucas grabbed her forearm.
“And what about Seungmin?” He questioned softly, a lot more gentle that what you usually would expect.
You felt heat rush to your cheeks.
“I haven’t spoken to him since Friday” You stared at him with a weakness you had never felt before. “It’s like he doesn’t want to talk to me, I…” you sighed. “I don’t know what to think anymore.” You sniffed.
You had to stay in the study room for the afternoon, waiting for Atenea to get out of the club she was in so you could head to the library together like you had promised, but as you studied in silence, someone sat in the chair in front of you, frowning at you.
You took your headphones off and scratched your eyes. “Eh… Hyunjin?”
“Abril told Lara and she told me,” he mentioned in a huff. “And I’ve known Seungmin for many years. He’s not an impulsive guy. He hasn’t treated anyone like how he treats you.”
You blinked, puzzled, but frowned at him. “Are you going to scold me?”
“You better believe I am!” He scoffed. “Would you like me to politely tell you that you’ve behaved like a total idiot around him?”
“What are you—?!”
“You simply never bothered to talk to Seungmin about any of what Lara told me!” He stated with force, and you didn’t think to tell him to shut up, considering that the study room was empty that time.
“Do you really expect me to understand whatever was happening and tell him right away?” You blurted out with anger, a bit shocked at his rough approach. “Had I had the opportunity I would have!
He rolled his eyes, passing a hand over his face in a sign of desperation.
“You had every opportunity! For months!” He left his hand on the table, and started tapping at it with force, trying to make a point. “Admit it. Seungmin has been in your head ever since we both changed from the other class and you two started bickering.” Hyunjin’s eyes stared at you with a fierce glare that almost threatened to pierce holes through your skull.
“That’s bullshit!” You spitted out defensively.
“Oh, spare me!” He brushed it off. “There have been countless clues! Your stupid need to make everything a competition when it comes to him is infuriating. He talks to me about these things, you know?” He swallowed, and you leaned back in surprise, but he kept on going. “How you look at him when you’re angry, or how you mock and tease him back. It’s stupid!” He cursed out loud. “And these last two weeks have only made it so much worse.”
“What do you mean, worse?” You pondered softly, slowly taking in Hyunjin’s dramatic act.
“I mean, you were totally smitten by how he ridiculously kissed you at the back of the bus last week, considering that you kissed him back.” He stated clearly. “And he wouldn’t shut up about it and how you were ignoring him after, which, great fucking work, by the way, the dude wouldn’t shut up about you.” Hyunjin blinked slowly, trying to recall and voice what he was thinking. “And then he lends you his jacket when a mystery debutant shows up.”
“A—a what?”
“Motherfucker, eh, that Henry asshole.” Hyunjin rubbed his eyes. “I had to endure him talking shit about him for an hour because he saw him texting you some weird shit with cringe emojis.” The exasperation on his tone rendered you almost speechless. “And even then he struggled to admit how fucking jealous he was about that guy. He had your attention. He had your smile. You looked at Henry, not at Seungmin, and ah, for fuck’s sake.” Hyunjin covered his face with his hands. “He felt so ridiculously powerless that he talked to me about it. He’s never done that before!”
You were only able to blink, struggling to grasp everything he was saying.
“And then, with no word of warning, you called him, at, what, like, one in the morning?” Hyunjin said in a huff, the thought of that bringing back his anger, making him stare at you with a frown again. “He, jesus, he talked for AGES about how you hugged him, and the fact that you were wearing his jacket, like— like you’re doing now, what the fuck.” He stopped mid-scolding, staring at you with confusion.
“It’s… it’s his?”
Hyunjin’s eyes widened slightly as he nodded. “What, you didn’t know? You helped him with tecnical drawing, he gave you his jacket, bla bla bla. That whole thing?”
You blushed, shaking your head sideways. You had done what?
“Nevermind. You can talk to him about that later.”
It was your turn to scoff now. “Judging by the fact that he sent you, I don’t think he would like to see me anytime soon.”
Hyunjin chuckled dryly.
“Don’t you even dare keep ignoring him. This stupid game has lasted for too long. Besides, he doesn’t know I’m here. He thinks I’m in dance practice, but whatever. You needed to know, because he’s a mess.” Hyunjin stated, passing a hand through his hair. “He can’t sleep well, he can’t concentrate, he can’t do anything.”
It looked like the scolding was over, but there was a remaining anger that came back to him as a memory struck.
“And, moreover, you callously ignored the letter Seungmin wrote you, even though he told you he loved you!”
You were looking at your notebook on the table, halfly staring at your nails and fidgeting with them, but your head almost snapped when you stared at him.
“What letter?” You muttered, your eyes locked on his. He frowned, his eyes slightly widening.
Your heart started beating faster, almost so loud you could hear it in your head.
“Hyunjin, what letter?!”
[☆★🌷★☆]
Seungmin felt his lungs on fire.
Run, run, run.
His feet were hurting, because his old ass shoes were busted enough that their insides were almost destroyed from everyday use.
But he needed to find you.
Maybe it was because it was Valentine’s day, despite the obvious influence that a certain friend of yours had done.
“Wait, you— you missed school this morning?” Lucas had muttered with a puzzled look, eyes wide.
“I had to go to the dentist to take my braces off. Yeah.” Seungmin stated again. “So whatever you meant by ‘being an ignoring bitch this morning’, I know nothing about it.”
And then someone next to them had chimed in. “You’re talking about Henry and what happened this morning with—“
“Yeah. Why?” Seungmin had interrupted, frowning slightly.
“There’s a video of it.”
Run, run, run.
The look in your eyes when you spoke with Henry. Your smug smile when you caught him by surprise.
Your poem.
His eyes had widened when Henry started reading it in the video.
Was it…?
Could it…?
Could it really be for him?
He wanted needed to find out.
He needed to find you.
“Watch where you’re going!” A man grunted at him, and Seungmin quickly apologized, running off.
Run, run, run.
He knew where you lived just because of Friday, when you had asked him if he could head towards your house with you, still a bit scared from what had happened. He accepted in a heartbeat, reassuring you that it was fine with a million smiles.
His hand had never left yours. Your touch, colder than his, had something so adicting to it that he didn’t want to let go.
Time seemed to pass slowlier when he recognized your neighbourhood. He was about to ring on your floor, but then, your silhouette got out of the elevators, and you both blinked at each other, staring through the glass door.
You opened it slowly, approaching him.
The look in your eyes was different than what Seungmin was used to.
It wasn’t similar to how you had looked at him ever since the school year started, with a shimmer of anger that turned your cheeks pink. Or how you had looked at him that afternoon in the back of the school bus, pupils dark and lips red and slightly swollen from kissing. Or how your eyes glowed in hope and comfort that Friday night.
It was different. He wanted to savour it. He wanted to see every detail of it.
He walked towards you and cradled your face in his hands.
“Wait.” He muttered in a whisper, taking off his glasses in a movement that to you felt almost enticing.
“What is it?” You whispered back.
He blinked at you as he cleaned his glasses with the hem of his shirt.
“You’re fucking blurry.” He snickered softly, with a sheepish smile that tinted his cheeks pink.
You giggled.
He settled his glasses back in place, and smiled when your image made sense before him.
“Better.” He muttered.
“Seungmin, I—“
But you stopped speaking when his lips crashed against yours.
There it was. He tasted sweet like how hot chocolate tastes in a rainy day. You smiled at your discovery, wanting to taste it for hours.
He wanted to kiss you for days to come, even if there was a million things left for both of you to say.
“I’m sorry.” Kiss. “I wasn’t in school this morning.” Kiss. “But I saw a video of it.” Kiss. “And I needed to—“
You giggled, taking his glasses and settling them on the top of his head.
“We can do the talking later.” You smiled, your cheeks red as your hands grabbed him by the collar of his shirt.
“Are you sure?” He gulped, blushing too as he mumbled.
“Yeah.” You smiled even more. “I’d rather do the kissing now.”
You'd never know what happened with his letter. But considering where that had lead you, maybe it wasn't totally bad that the wind had carried it out the window.
[☆★🌷★☆]
~Kats, who, believe it or not, took the text argument in the beginning from an old school groupchat (yes i was the target akbdksbdks idk why lol, but no, i did not have an enemies2lovers :( lmao)
HAPPY FUCKING VALENTINES DAY!
TAGGING! (oh wow) @that-crazy-five-foot-two-chick @deadcrow-donteat @obyyyy @euphoric-univers @aslou @19marka @daisyjihannie @im-loco66 @coolbabydumplings @amarecerasus @sharonxdevi @han-to-my-minho @abbiespooks @moon0fthenight @koala-wonderland @hecrtful @hheesungsung @vampcharxter @kpopandblunts @daisy-dont-play @skz-lover21 @skyl1nninie @lunathewonyoungstan @5starlee @pchyyhoe @4ln-stay8 @michelle4eve (bolded and/or purple means it won’t let me tag you, pookies! please check your blog’s privacy settings <3)
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kaemixx0 · 3 months
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I'm bored so why not some tips that have helped me (:
☆ The motivation is strong, but the discipline is more; You have to resist even if you don't want to. Search thinsp0, look in the mirror, think about the progress you've made!
☆ At first it may sound difficult, but once you fall in love with the feeling of being hungry, of being tired, of feeling like you haven't eaten enough, everything gets better, as I said, it's about discipline more than motivation.
☆ Drink a lot of water; that helps me a lot with the craving, feel full and just for distraction. Although I don't know how healthy I am in this regard, I usually drink more than two liters a day :)
☆ Don't forget your goals. Every time you feel hungry, think about all the previous times you have felt it and that didn't mean you ate, you have to be in control, it is your decision.
☆ I don't know how good this is, but I know it's horrible that you like sweets so much and can't eat them because you're ⭐️ving. Resist as long as you can, but if you really crave it, you should eat a small amount, enjoy it, and forget about it. Once in a long time of effort will not be bad, is much better than the frustration make u binge.
Personally, there is always one day a week when I usually eat more than my limit because family gatherings, I have to eat enough so they don't worry, so you too and could take it as a meta day –I have read that it helps maintain in control of your metabolism– and most importantly don't immerse yourself in guilt and frustration about this!
When you eat more than your limit bc you went out with friends, or your family, or maybe you had a good time with someone you love, forget it, our little happiness matters; tomorrow you will do it better.
Adding more:
☆ Download games that keep you focused; I usually play cod mobile, sometimes also while I walk around my house to increase my steps taken haha.
If your parents / family worry about u / u are afraid that they will notice:
☆Of course, if you can, try to eat before or after ur family so they don't notice how little you eat.
☆ Distribute your meals well according to your calorie restriction and how many times or how little your family allows you to eat, for example; I eat two meals a day, my limit is 500 kcal, so I try to make my breakfast very low in kcal because lunch is prepared by my mom and it usually has a lot of calories —you will realize that to achieve this you have to start observing and planning more, hun.
☆ Personally; I usually tell them that I want to take care of myself, being healthy and that I will not eat ultra-processed foods, junk food, etc., they understand that; I don't tell them that I want to lose weight, just want to eat healthy.
☆ Fix your attitude; Idk about you, but after the first week I radically start ⭐️ving myself, they noticed it by my mood; I was constantly irritated, upset and looked very tired, now I try to pretend normality.
☆ It helps me a lot to be active at home, at least now that I'm on vacation; I mean, there are some chores that I do every day —it helps me stay active and my parents think I'm fine :)
☆ In my case, I lost weight in a very short time, it wasn't much but it was noticeable, my parents noticed it, so I decided not to wear tight clothes anymore, normally only oversized t-shirts and loose shorts, that way, they won't notice so easily when I lose weight quickly and they won't worry.
♡ I hope this helps you even a little, stay safe
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scary-monsters · 3 months
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Rules: answer + tag 9 people you want to get to know better and/or catch up with
Tagged by @crown-of-winterthorne 🧡 thank you friend!!
Favorite Color: burnt orange is everything to me.. pair that with a deep avocado green and my eyes are very very very happy. special shoutout to mustard yellow and maroon as well.
Last Song: so cold by balu brigada, it's their newest song and i'm a big fan 🕺🏻 highly recommend these guys
Currently Reading: i'm such a fake reader.. i have a stack of books on my nightstand that i keep promising i'll dig into but i end up passing out every night before i get there 😭 i'm like mid-way through a little life by hanya yanagihara (had to stop because it was soul-crushing). i keep red, white & royal blue by casey mcquiston there because it's a comfort read for me, it's just very cute. and the two that i've been meaning to start are jurassic park by michael crichton and tin man by sarah winman. there's also a few fics i've been meaning to catch up on/start reading but tbh i've had a very difficult time reading in general lately so i'm not sure when i'll get to them.
Currently Watching: nothingggg... i rarely watch anything, omg this post makes me sound so BORING... the last thing i watched was challengers (which i really enjoyed) but that was a couple weeks ago, i think. when they finally animate SBR i'll watch that LOL
Currently Craving: diego brando... a vacation... a concert (/j /j /j) UHH IDK, i tried those new goldfish crisps a couple days ago and they were GOOD, i'd love more of those rn. that or these calamari chips my sister had me try the other day, those were delicious too
Coffee or Tea? tea, my stomach can't take coffee LOL. i don't drink tea much at all but good GOD i would die for boba right now
No Pressure Tagging: @phidont @luxario @unintent @reclusiveunicorn @homicidal-lingonberry @jojo-lane @his-body-and-blood @spacejasontodd @verystrongblimp UHH IDK normally i don't tag bc i don't wanna be annoying LOL, living without fear today i guess 💀 anyone else who reads this: consider yourself tagged too
edit: PLEASE STOP REBLOGGING THIS 😭😭😭
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alexxness · 9 days
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A thread on how I'd portray Gravity Falls x The Last of Us (Part 1) [I was bored last night]
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This post is based on @eerizon recent Gravity Falls x TLOU drawing :P
First of all, the artist above totally saw my (and everyone else's) vision, bc I also thought about this idea, but I wanted to wait for someone else to draw it
So now, I'm just gonna write down who would be who in this universe just for fun (feel free to drop your own ideas too)
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─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
Starting off with: Stan as Joel
It's logical and makes total sense!!
Two father figures who lost someone in their lives get attached to some who didn't have good impressions at first, and protects them with their lives
I'm still trying to figure who'd be Sarah though..
────୨ৎ────
Dipper and Mabel as Ellie
I'd like to highlight Mabel the most, bc it also makes sense that Stan gets more attached to her, and later saves her from her death at the hospital (which means she'd be the one immune to the infection)
As for Dipper, he'd be most important for Part 2
Dipper could be the one figuring out that Stan broke the siblings' trust/promise, when he discovers that he lied about Mabel being useless to the cure of the infection
He'd also get revenge for Stan's death as well
────୨ৎ────
For obvious reasons, Ford would be Tommy
Their relationship with their brothers is very similar, and I'm pretty darn sure that Ford would do the exact same thing that Tommy did when Joel died
They're extremely good shots, and ✨ survivors ✨
────୨ৎ────
Eda (from The Owl House) as Tess is an interesting idea, and I love it
The fact that Eda gets infected, is a pretty good replacement for her curse, and I just love that concept rahhhh
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I ain't 100% sure, but I think Wendy as Bill could be an interesting idea
She's a survivalist, and she would absolutely rule making traps like Bill's
Frank could be one of her exes or something, idk haven't thought enough about it yet 😭
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This is another one I haven't thought through at 100%, but once again, Fiddleford as Maria could also be a cool concept
Sure, who wouldn't want a partner telling all the probabilities of things that could happen if this and that occurred, right?
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Took me a while to figure this one out... This wouldn't be a sibling situation, but a partner one--
I think Blubs as Henry and Durland as Sam is sad, but also an interesting idea
It's a dark turn to take for these two sillies, and I'm sorry for this :(
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[Human]Bill would be David for sure (but he wouldn't be a PDFFile omgoshh)
The simple logic is bc he tricks both Dipper and Mabel, and tries to kill them to feed his gang
(which he technically does this during Weirdmageddon [he offers Dipper as a snack to 8-Ball and Teeth])
────୨ৎ────
Blind Ivan would be the perfect fit for Marlene
This basically makes the Society of the Blind Eye, the new Fireflies, which is actually pretty cool
────୨ৎ────
Pacifica would probably take Riley's role
She's besties with the twins, and wants to be free from her parents (as usual)
Who's gonna kiss her later at the abandoned mall?? Dipper or Mabel? You decide!!
Unfortunately yeah, she gets infected-- And she's never seen again :'D
────୨ৎ────
And for last but not least... Bud as Jerry
Seems like a logical reason, right?? Kinda makes sense...
Hmm... I wonder who's going after Stan after this...
─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──
And that's it for my Part 1 ideas!!
I can drop your opinions/ideas, I'll be happy to read them and discuss with all of you!!
I might make a post about Part 2 eventually, so stay tuned if you're interested
Have a good day/night, everyone!!
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kosmicdream · 4 months
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im confident enough to post FFAK, which has anal prolapse, but i dont post the true drama....... my opinions about manga. *dramatic music* sometimes i kinda want to do some reviews.. its mostly me complaining.. it makes me sound so bitter like "do you like anything kosmic!" and..yes ! i do!!! okay!! i like a lot of things. once in a while, i dip my toes into a popular series to try to see if we are a good fit. Series like: Beastars, Dorohedoro, Dungeon meshi,ect.. and i kind. well. I dont like any of them LMAO. I mean, Ok, i actually really was into Beastars for a time, but after the fight with the bear guy (its been a few years sorry) and that story arc concluded.. it just spiraled to laughable levels and did not recover. I was genuinely laughing at it at times bc it kind of felt like a desperate scramble with the like. loopholes and power upgrades.. But I was invested for a time, it had a charm to me! I also loved the art and im curious about the authors next series about santa (partly because i too, am writing a story about santa). Dorohedoro has a great visual style, fun characters, i enjoyed reading but it also kinda didnt ...land for me beyond that, which is a shame. I feel like it is a series that "should" have clicked with me. And its like, not offensive to me but.. I'll forget that ive read the whole thing. I like STUFF in it. but thats not enough for me anymore. If i had read it when i was younger tho, it might have been a diff story. idk. My most unpopular opinion of all is that... I hated Dungeon Meshi.. Sure its ..pretty! cute designs. but i found it SO painfully boring and it actually was a struggle to finish. in the end, it felt like a waste of time.. SHOCKING take i know. That is the darling of everyones heart and i like, understand WHY its popular. .. but for me, i was not fed by anything. i am unfed and starved and going to eat elsewhere oh, and i.. as a person who has read a lot of fighting mangas.. I have tried to read chainsaw man, but i dont know if I can. I did finish Fire Punch. I'm surprised to say: i kinda liked it but it took a long time to force myself to read thru it. I honestly hated many aspects of Fujimoto's storytelling/character acting that i didn't think my opinion on it would change, but I'm a little more open to it now. I dont think i could ever super be into it or whatever, but i did find genuine enjoyment in aspects of fire punch. I did not really like look back. I haven't read his other one shot(s)? Where am i going with all this..I guess im giving some unrequested reviews after all...oops... a lot of this is spurred by how houseki no kuni is one of my most fav series, not only visually/characters/story/ect.. but i cant lie.... the ending... was kind of a flop for me... gorgeous and poetic ig sure but.. AUGH! it isnt what i wanted. maybe it'll be one of those "it'll grow on me" endings but thats mostly me having to go thru the 5 stages of personal grief and gaslight myself into it, but as the like actual honest first-reaction feeling it kinda lost me. I think it did not work when i felt the confrontation btwn phos/cinnabar wasn't the one i wanted to see. i will say tho, while im dissapointed, its not like a DEEP one or anything. I know its a miracle to even get to an ending.. i guess my take away feeling from it was like "everything fit together too well, too planned" but didnt feel planned, emotionally. I wasn't sold on it. Anyway, im here to speak my truth and my hot takes which, i honestly dont even want to have that one about HnK but its the real feeling i have for it.. Once again Utena's ending just has made all these other issues i have with various stories more obvious LOL
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fanatical4creation · 8 months
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INVERTED! Insanity and Killer
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Hey i'll tell ya a secret, i give duo names to my characters, this is the Insaneduo (this is what qsmp has done to me). Anyway, now "FANATICAL WHY ARE THEY-" shhh sh sh i'll explain, that's what this post is for. Btw this drawing is OLD but yet useful, the only change i'd do is Insanity's eye, it's in the wrong side.
Let's start with Killer or Kiki (do you love me?) for the most intimate, he's from an alternative timeline called Something changed, based on the comic/au Something New originally created by @/rahafwabas. Something Changed is an AU where the human get bored from Sans' face and change the sprites Underswap's, i mean he surely wanted something new eh? (ba dum tss)
That's all. Pfft-there's nothing new that's why the name is Something Changed, would it be to fit the swap theme or the story itself
Now let's talk about Insanity shall we? He's originally created by Zero danteero, he's... uuuuh he's something new.... ok i'll stop- anyway he still have his classic story it's just his visuals that changed, i guess... BUT here's the thing y'know Nifty from Hazbin? That's him, but he rarely talks, he's more like an animal but still an insane maniac, he walks all curved and everything he's a insane beast.
Btw i'll probably re-do Insanity, bc he's too complicated to draw and i want to animate him, so expect a new design on him.
Story:
Nightmare found both of them in their own universes there's not much to talk about Insanity's bc it's like-... It's like how a kennel takes in a dog, lmao 😭. But both Kiki and Sane causes a lot of trouble when they first came in to Nightmares place... th-the omega timeline.
Nightmare wanted to make a prision in the OmegaTimeline to contain them "oh but Fanatical that's so dumb" everyone knows, he tried to convince everyone it wasn't and he failed bc "the evil only prevails if the good fails" as he says, but it's mainly bc "against facts there are no arguments." as i say.
The Insaneduo come together in every mission, it's the assassin and the damage dealer (🤓), they're almost perfect but they need another one to complete the trio, who would it be?...
"FANATICAL WHY ARE THEY USING ELETRONIC ANKLES???" Well, remember the prision i mentioned Nightmare wanted to do? Yup. Nightmare did it anyways but hidden from everybody else, i still don't know if Core is omniscient or not so i'm working on it.
The ankles are to make sure they don't scape or get close to the the OmegaTimeline city thing or the doors, since the prision is way way way far away from the city bc-.. y'know, it's an empty void, and it's underground, y'know i've seen an livestream from FmsDraws that he says if you dig to the ground of the void of the OT it'll be all black and with inverted gravity, so i'm still working on how it looks, but i got some concepts...
That's all u need to know for now, maybe everything changes bc i'm still learning about OmegaTimeline, so be patient for fucks sake.
Killer sans (c) @/rahafwabas
Insanity sans (c) Zero danteero (idk which social media he/she/they are)
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narzissenkreuz-ordo · 30 days
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i guess i need some. advice? encouragement? about some stuff thats been happening recently so suicide/violence cw under the cut
i won't go into detail but i had. a very huge emotional/physical/mental breakdown today. where i was just. basically screaming and howling about how suicidal ive been lately. I haven't said anything out loud/via text on the internet abt it because i know saying i want to kms so often is bad for my own well being and ultimately makes other uncomfortable as well
so yeah i've just been. holding all that in. i knew the thoughts were coming in and out the past few months but was just shrugging it off as just being stressed abt the nightmare year i had. but i really was just. lying to myself and others because i didnt want to worry anyone/didn't want to admit how horrible i was doing after a couple years of good progress. but as it stands things are heading into a really bad direction for me rn. its not normal to go to sleep suicidal and immediately be suicidal upon waking up.
I don't really know what i can really do harm reduction wise. i'm unable to have regular visits with a psychiatrist/therapist bc of availability issues + i tend to just. lie. because its easier to say im fine than it is to advocate for myself and get actual help. and even then medication will not save me and coping skills can only go so far if im so deep in it im unable to take care of myself/feed myself/clean myself/eat/etc so none of it is effective enough in the moment. i know it CAN be effective and some of the skills ive learned can help during situational issues but this is really deep rooted improperly treated mental illness and i need a stronger foundation to be able to use any of the skills
i use a means of self isolation to punish myself, because i'm so upset with myself for not being able to pick myself up on my own. people can say im not a burden over and over but theres always gonna be a catch in the end. i freak out because what if this is one of my last meltdowns before they decide enoughs enough and i just get abandoned. again.
I feel like maybe being so Online is making things worse?? but i don't know??? my concentration is completely gone even when trying to use dnd/closing discord completely and im just constantly refreshing social media every 10 seconds and just stew in the bad feelings.
I don't know if just. leaving the internet cold turkey for a bit would do more harm than good.....i dont want to be alone and caught up in my thoughts. but i have a hard time doing things in 'moderation' and don't know how to even begin to roll back my internet/screen time usage
fandom is fun and great. but i dont think i should be using video games as pure escapism or playing them 24/7. im already getting bored and unenthusiastic about the things i like because its ALL i do.... I want to have at least SOME time away from screens. i hate having the impulse the check social media or refresh even 30 seconds (im even doing it NOW) but i just dont know where to begin in cultivating non-screentime hobbies and have the ability to focus on things more long term without having than doing 1000 things all at once to keep myself busy. i play video games muted most of the time, have a yt video playing, sometimes i'll stop mid video game and pull out my ipad while still having the games open, and im always on discord
there's books i still want to read, i eventually want to pick up sewing again. im considering getting a craft set for making those beaded bracelets (my brother gets them from concerts all the time and thinks it would be fun to make them too) but that all requires money
and i just. idk where im going with this rn but. any advice or suggestions or just. words of encouragement would be. really nice rn
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Hi! I have some questions for you. First, Rank the Hawthorne brothers:
1st:
2nd:
3rd:
4th:
Now, your most favourite character from the whole series :
Your least favourite character from the whole series:
I really want to know whether or not we think on the same wavelength about these characters or if I'm the odd one out. Last question, who are the characters that you wish had been mentioned more in the series, as in, their relation with Avery?
hello!! sorry it took me so long to reply but I have been heavily debating my answers. these were such good questions and it was so hard to decide!! but I feel like my answers are gonna bug you…
Hawthorne brother ranking: I CANT DO ITTT, I ACTUALLY PHYSICALLY CANTTT IM SOOOO SORRY
like genuinely love them all the same and I cannot choose, I had tried (hence why it took me so long to reply) but it was impossible 😔😔
I mean if you’re talking boyfriend wise: Grayson would be my first choice but I would not mind any of them, literally if they existed I’d be lucky to get a side glance
favourite character: you know what this is so difficult for me because it literally changes daily 😭😭 and it is so dependant on my mood but I’ll give you a top five
Gigi is my babyyyy, I love her to pieces!! she’s so bubbly and cute and sweet and I literally just want to hug her to death, but at the same time her character is so much deeper than that and she hides all of her pain. (and I’m a sucker for an emotionally traumatised character that’s trying to bottle everything up until they have to break).
okay this might get me hated on but I’m allowed to have my own opinion… I personally love love love Savannah… WAIT NO ONE KILL ME YET… I just think she’s such a girl boss, I love a strong independent woman who fights her own battles. also I love her pure confidence and how she also bottles her emotions in a more cutthroat way than Gigi, I love her coldness (I probably sound like a mentalist), idk I just love her and her intensity, it’s just so alluring!!
oh also tell me why nan Hawthorne is my literal idol?? idk I just love her. her energy is everything, she’s so cool 😭😭 idk I have an emotional attachment
I know I said five but we’re counting the Hawthorne brothers as a whole here (one whole split into quarters so it’s like 0.25 each). Grayson, Jameson, Xander and Nash are all spectacular in all different ways and I could sit here and book on why but I won’t bore you…
I know I literally just named half the characters in the book but overall if I had to give one answer I would have to say that Avery is my favourite character, call me predictable or clichè but I worship that woman and she’s such an amazing character
Least favourite character: this is the one I feel like I can give a straight answer on. I mean it’s the obvious E*e, Em*ly and Tob*as, like ew hate them.
oooo okay hottakes now (yay)
I feel like we don’t get enough of Libby and Avery just being sisters, like I need more. me and my sister are super close and I want to see that in those two. they have so much potential, I know we get snippets but after the first two books it kind of fades a bit…
obviously I want to see Lyra and Avery become besties because I feel like they’d bounce off of each other, like they’re both super smart, both (practically) dating a Hawthorne brother and I think they’d have such a cool friendship
idkkk but I loved the Avery/Xander dynamic from the hawthorne legacy (I think that’s when those two bonded more, but I might be wrong) so more of that would be amazinggg
and I know this isn’t about Avery but honourable mentions bc I want to see more Gigi and Xander being plutonic besties and also more Gigi and Savannah moments. I would also LOVEEE more scenes of just the four Hawthorne brothers bc those are always hilarious and they just gel so well together.
but now I’m practically naming everyone in the series, sorry for my waffle and not-straight answers 😭😭 but thanks for asking <33
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Note
Your responses to the Stolas/Blitzo debate are… odd. I agree that Stolas is being hypocritical, overly judgmental, unfair, and ignorant of his own behavior- but isn’t that the point of the show? Blitzo’s also messing up in a lot of ways, he takes jokes/insults too far, he has problems respecting boundaries, he’s acting unfairly aggressive and apathetic. But that’s the whole point of the show, isn’t it?
We are only halfway through season 2 of a 3-4 season show, which means we still have sooo much further to go in the story. Therefore, of course the characters are still flawed. If Stolas and Blitzo were perfect and weren’t being flawed the story would be flat and boring- or if Blitzo was the only one making mistakes. Then there would be no show to watch, no?
Also, I feel like, if Blitzo’s allowed to be ignorant, narcissistic, and intentionally hurting others due to his insecurities, trauma (like being overly rude bc he’s defensive, disrespectful of boundaries) AND he’s allowed to make mistakes on his path to healing and redemption-
then so isn’t Stolas? Stolas also had a hard upbringing and an abusive marriage, so there’s many things he flawed in (like expressing proper intimacy, or properly self-reflecting). He’s not as far as Blitzo right now in his journey to be better but he will get there- as Vivzie has said herself. There’s still AT LEAST one and a half more seasons, in which will contain Stolas’s self reflection.
This is also why I think you might have the perspective that the SHOW itself sets Blitzo up as the bad guy. Because 1. Anyone with proper media literacy can also see Stolas’ flaws but more importantly 2. The show is about Blitzo, and at the moment is focused on Blitzo. Therefore we are seeing every side of him, the good the bad and the ugly. We haven’t entirely begun Stolas’ arc (we’ve like… dipped our toes) and thus the show isn’t putting a main focus on anything about him- his mistakes OR his healing. But those things will start to unravel as this season goes on and into the next season.
If you have the opinion that the FANDOM hates on Blitz? Well I can’t really help that, besides saying idk what side of the fandom you’re on. My side very much stays in the middle and admits they are both wrong.
I just feel you’re being too harsh on Stolas and aren’t really seeing the show for what it really is: HALF of a story about two equally flawed individuals.
Thoughts?
You think I'm too harsh. I will be even harsher. The reason why I am harsh on Stolas is because the crew doesn't realize how much Stolas is fucked up as a person and how realistically in life Blitzo would get the heck out of their with that crystal and leave. Yep, no being gaslighted into a relationship based on a facetious grand gesture but just leave that unapologetic bird. The guy said he was trying to make things right but he never properly apologized nor showed he truly understood the gravity of power he had on Blitzo. Also most of all he doesn't understand how condescending and bigoted he was and even when Blitzo spells it out the doubles down and claims Blitzo is the bigoted one. It's projection on his part and shows he still hasn't learned anything while pretending he is. The problem is he doesn't have he narrative harshly hold him accountable. It doesn't try to correct his behavior but gives him new excuses to feel sorry for him as we groan at the narrative's favoritism towards him and how supposedly he's actually this great guy despite that erasing all of season one. Sorry, but Stolas is worse and the show refuses to admit it because they have fallen so in love with him. Also the guy should expect to instantly be forgiven and be sympathetic for it. That is what shows Bojack called out for which is feeling entitled to forgiveness after you didn't do anything to try to properly heal those around him while Blitzo gets wrecked for the same thing. The show is hypocritical on who it wants to punish and who it wants to reward. And it's rewarding a abuser who thinks he's the victim.
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duckiemimi · 1 year
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trying to wrap my head around WHY gojo had to die but all i can think of is how the story literally came to a standstill when he was in the prison realm. how they all fought to get him out of the box bc he's the strongest, he's gojo satoru, he's their savior.
and then gege just threw in a 2 month time skip, a bland shonen fight scene (i stand by it being bland! throwing in fancy techniques =/= a strong fight scene. this fight was poor executed in that it lacked meaning on both sides. maybe if we saw megumi tear up or gojo react in some way to his students and megumi...) just to kill him off at the end.
what i don't get is why he had to come out of the box for that? the main characters developed really well when he was in the box, to the point where i thought we were going to get an all out fight with yuji, yuuta, maki, AND gojo against sukuna; this would've been a cool full circle moment with gojo's goal being accomplished before he died. then, he would've died knowing that he isn't the sole strongest.
(that's the kind of meaning geto was looking for too, i think)
but the way it's being done now, it feels like we're just gearing up for another gojo level up? (also who is kashimo i'm all for jjk's power system but WHEN will we get to see nobara's tomonari and yuuji's new cursed technique and even yuuta and his absolutely op copycat technique again???)
idk it feels like we're erasing the entire culling games arc and all the progress we made during it just to get to where we are now... gege please explain what are we thinking...
like? they spent multiple arcs trying to save him, thinking he’d be their savior, and it didn’t pay off at all 😭 there are effective ways to build up a tragic character storyline and a “you’re best is never enough” theme! this isn’t it! had the wait been shorter, and had we been given a couple panels of gojo and his thoughts in the prison realm, then maybe it would’ve worked, probably loosely. but even then, this is an event-based plot driven story that keeps moving forward and the trajectory gege set in the beginning doesn’t line up with where we’re at now. sure, the existential nature vs. nurture theme is still there (gege really wedged in that “are u strong, or strong are u?” question to salvage some consistency), but the development of everything we’ve watched bloom is thrown away for…what? a quintessential shounen fight to live up to other shounens? a “PEAK” battle that’s rushed?? gege used to be so good at drawing circles closed, but it’s been confusing loops these days.
(oh, and i viscerally feel you. many people praise the technicalities and powerscaling of this arc, but just like the recent writing, gege’s power system isn’t consistent. and even if it was completely consistent per character and per CT and understandable as a whole, fight scenes without “meat” to them lack story! i wanted see more characterization! i wanted to see that the battle went deeper than surface-level! fifteen chapters of cyclical back-and-forths with barely anything else to pay attention to is boring…if gege wanted to keep every reader engaged, he should’ve added sukuna’s characterization during his fight with gojo. and if he really wanted to land that tragic character storyline for gojo, he should’ve added more scenes of gojo’s introspection and inner-conflict, or at least a thought process we could follow. as it is now, ending him like that betrays the trajectory for growth gege set for him in the beginning.)
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scoonsalicious · 5 months
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helo helo mother pookie, again u did not dissappoint🩷🩷🩷
Buckybaby and Major are horndogs. Six — i bet it was more than that — times? DAYYUMMM!! I like it 👉🏻👈🏻 It’s cute to see Buckybaby POV, while Major’s was so dirty 😏😂 Idk why but that’s the vibe.
bucky junior and his approval for Major.
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Now let’s speak of luluwhatsoever. She’s taking advantage of Bucky’s friendship here. Bucky is a great friend, maybe Lenovo is too, however she has her own agenda, which is loving/liking him. Here’s the thing, now that Major is in her life (and soon might be permanent), Leah’s gonna try her best to seduce him (if she can) OR spouting nonsense so that Bucky is guilty (he is now) OR making sure that Major looks bad in his view by framing her (again — if she can). You know how wild/crazy woman could be for a man! (flashback cunthage)
But I have faith in this Bucky. He’s certain with his needs. Major too.
As said by our lovely Pookie, Leah is Bucky #1 only ‘girl’bestfriend, and she takes pride of that but for Bucky he might clueless and just rolls with it because well, she is his bestfriend. Lenovo is toxic, possessive, manipulative (kinda bcs she’s taking advantage), and ofc a bad friend. I feel like from the beginning it wasn’t a conquest to be’friend’ him but to be—in—a—relationship with him, but Lenovo couldn’t just force herself in his life as a ‘girlfriend’, so the only way to break Buckybaby shell was to be his ‘actual’ friend and then leeches her way in bit by bit but then Bucky will always saw her as a sister figure (which is sad but oh well Lucinta, you are not reader)
About Leah’s misogyny not liking girly girly thing, that shit is there bcs well, as a pick me girl you have to be a girl the likes baddie baddie thing ONLY (speaking like a true pick me girl connoisseur). Bucky is the wintah soldiah! He a baddie, ofc Lenovo is going to act baddie baddie too (well she’s bad at it). Plus, it’s an attack mechanism. Major is a queen, she's threatened!! Plus to make it worse, Bucky is attracted to the queen! She has to activate her pick me baddie system and show off her #1 badge. Again a pride for her but normalcy for Bucky.
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NEXT, let's go to Steve. Idk if this Steve is fishy but I had a feeling this Steve is just normal. He's a good friend, AND it is normal to remind your friend 'don't rush into the stuffs'. He's not against it, he just giving advice to 'take it slow' as what Bucky said before he has all the time in the world (y'know abt Major wanna lick his lollipop junior but he wanna stick it into the tight donut first).
The reason why Steve said it is bcs Bucky starts saying the stuffs he and Major had a thing there. If Bucky didn't say it, I think Steve wouldn't say anything too except 'Im great for ya pall for having sex that is actually 6 times but yeah I'm boring so i wouldn't say that shit'.
….
I hope
….
Don't disappoint me WFLT Steve
(this is why i like dark!Steve👉🏻👈🏻)
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Lastly, abt Zade and Rand, again being the good friend. It’s also normal. I mean, imagine having a real Bucky Barnes in real life sans the appearance and change Avenger to cops/military. IMAGINE. OKAY? IM MAKING THIS REALISTIC. A guy that murdered thousands of man/woman where we had zero knowledge of his history and nicknamed The Ripper/Butcher (for example😂). We didn’t know anything except in the trial he’s a friend of said famous cop/military, and now serve the country. If it were me, it sounds fishy as hell. So do not blame me to be dramatic initially because I’m not the one was getting railed by his dick.
(But ofc in fanfiction I would react differently, I mean… ITS BUCKY BARNES!!)
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Anyways, that is all for today. Mother Pookie, I wuv you so much and all of your pets!! THEY R SO FLUFFY!!!🩷🩷🩷
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My precious! <3
Your posts make me so happy. I can't even!
I really, really love Bucky and Major just being completely and totally head over heels for each other from the go, you know? Like, they both know they are kind of rushing into this, but they're both coming from places where they felt like they wasted enough time being unhappy (Major with her loveless marriage and Bucky being, you know, a brainwashed assassin, lol) that they just want to go for it.
Bucky Junior's approval for Major is highly appreciated, lol. He has definitely given her a standing ovation, lol.
deLulu has been a good friend to Bucky in the past, just as long as it's not involving any of the girls he previously dated, lol. She's got this idea in her head that their relationship's gonna play out like a typical best friends to lovers fan fiction or something, and that she just has to let it progress naturally. She's in love with the very idea of it, more than she's actually in love with Bucky. She wants to live that story. Honestly, the male main character in it wasn't really that important to her. She's tried it before, and it's always failed.
Lenovo (love calling her this, btw) is SO threatened by our queen, and I think it has something to do with the fact that Major is just unabashedly herself, whereas Lenovo is constantly putting up a front to try to make herself what she thinks Bucky wants. I want to try to explore this later on. So, of course Lenovo will take these elements she sees in Major and dump on them, because she thinks that it will make her look better. She is wrong. So wrong. And dumb.
I promise WFLT Steve is a Steve and not a Steeb! He's just... there, lol. No shady business on his part. Just being old fashioned and warning his bestie to be careful with his heart because he doesn't want to see him fall fast and hard and not have the girl feel the same way (he doesn't need to worry, Major is just as in as Bucky is!)
And Zadie and Rand are also coming from a place of love, for the most part. In Rand's case, it might be a little bit of "I think I know better than you," but it's mostly love. They don't know Bucky, they don't know his dick. They're just going by what they watched on Court TV or something, lol.
I love you, Pookie! Thank you so much for writing; you make my day!
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smalltimidbean · 1 year
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So I am gonna write the thoughts I have about Cheeseshop AU bc writing things down helps me, and you guys are welcome to chip in your opinions/ask questions on it too!
Okay enjoy my ramblings bc this is going to be barely organised
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So idk what the 'story' is of this AU, or even if there needs to be one, all I have so far is that Brick is a human who owns a cheese shop, and Gus, Peppino and Pep are her larger-that-average rat friends, whom she found outside (regardless if there is a tower or not, she'd meet them beforehand, (except for Pep in some cases, but we'll get to him))
So idea one, no tower at all! Brick just happily runs her little shop and everything is hunky-dory
Pros:
Do love a good 'slice of life' with some wacky antics thrown in
Opportunity for a different conflict or antagonist? I suppose this can be said for any of the ideas, but I am putting it here bc the other ideas have a Pizzaface/Pizzahead and they'd still be hanging around
Cons:
Maybe a little boring, and removes perhaps the main part of Pizza Tower - the Tower!!! And without her, probably wouldn't have a reason most of the other characters
Idea two; there is a tower, but it is all cheese - maybe even dairy themed? - and Brick must climb it to save her shop from an alternative Pizzaface (Cheeseface???)
Pro:
Easy to understand, since it would be mostly beat-for-beat as the OG
We'd get all the characters, albeit alternate versions of them
Cons:
Perhaps redundant (for lack of a better term)? Considering PT is mostly cheese, some things would be exactly the same, like Vigi and all the cheeseslimes
I think there is only so much one can do with cheese... Well, I'm sure you can do a lot with cheese, but I, personally, am perhaps limited on my cheese knowledge
Idea three!: Now this one's a little geared towards my own version of the game, but Cat Tower
I headcanon that Brick hates, and I mean hates, cats, so Pizzaface/Pizzahead would be a giant cat of sorts, and the tower would be cat themed. Story kinda the same with the shop being threatened with destruction, some of the reasons are changed (I cannot tell you original reasons bc spoilers for Pep's blog kdfkj)
Pros:
Who doesn't love cats!!! Well, besides Brick jfdlsdk
Get to draw furry things yippee!!
Cons:
Mostly stems from a single headcanon? Idk if that's a con, but it feels like it lgjdg
Idea four is kind of an 'add-on' to one of the other ideas, so there is a tower, but instead of the shop being threatened, Pizzaface (or whatever his alternative name would be) kidnaps Gustavo and Peppino, and Brick has to scale the tower to get them back
Brick would not have Pep in this version, as Pizzahead would still have a personal vendetta against Peppino (for some reason), and did the cloning thing with him anyway, so Pep would still be a boss
This is probably more game idea, than story, but basically Brick would go through each level of the tower with a different companion - so on her own for the first level, but as she rescues Gus and Peppino, and befriends Pep (and maybe some of the other bosses), they can help her progress!
Pros:
Interesting spin on the game
Cute reuniting moments
Extremely funny for this twink to have a vendetta against a single rat
Cons:
Again, probably more suited as game mechanics rather than a story?
Would still have to choose a theme for the tower and other characters
This is all I have for now, and it is probably even less coherent that I expected, but it is okay, I am just putting thoughts down
But now I am going to bed, so goodnight!!!!
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cringelordofchaos · 1 year
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Flicker Eduardo headcanons!!
I know almost no one cares except maybe that one flicker fan scrolling through the flicker tag, but idc
(some of these are weird and stupid)
(also when I say "into ___" I don't mean it in a romantic or s##ual context btw)
pansexual demiboy, he/they, name means "Wealthy Guardian" (only thing canon in this post)
Into rock and heavy metal
Introverted
Into cryptozoology
Into 80's horror movies
Teenager, bout 16-18 y/o
Into werewolves
obsessed with stranger things
Deadname is Valentina (based on the fact that he was initially supposed to be called Valentina and have a different design)
Engages with risky (??) and rebellious behaviour
Divorced parents, father had abandoned both them and their mom and his infant sister
Hispanic
Used to be best friends with Alex, drifted apart and now Ed feels bitter Abt him
Not satanic but they are into studying satanism and people devoted to it
Atheist
Into murder mysteries
Quiet in groups at first until he gets to know others in the group better
Plays the guitar (both acoustic and electric)
Horrible at singing, still likes singing
Used to be in a band with Alex, Amethyst and Prasiddhi
Gets absolutely horrible grades in school besides in literature and Spanish
Theater kid
Dumb#ss nerd
Has sooo many earrings and necklaces
Obsessed with many bands (I can't specify which ones bc i don't know sh#t about music,)(actually screw it I'll name a few that my mom likes
Into Metallica, Radiohead, Queen The Door, and other crap like that (I only listen to Radiohead out of these)
Has one of his eyebrows pierced
Has wolf as their fave animal
Kinda insane (don't ask)
Into paranormal stuff
Brave
Determined and stubborn
Street smart
Skateboards
All about self expression
Known as the quiet kid or the weirdo in school
Likes to go outside at night
Halloween is their fave holiday
Quiet in relation to his negative opinions regarding others
Secretly a MLP + STH fan
Can get bored and distracted easily
Into parkour and tree + rock climbing
Spiritually in the 80's
A really good older sib figure
Attachment issues, fears being abandoned so sometimes they push other people away first, other times he is a bit clingy and desperate
Uses the peace ✌️ and rock 🤘sign quite often
Embraces weirdness
Will always protect and defend people he cares about
Can be kinda rude but also really kind?
Often does the chores in the house, kinda tired from that + schoolwork
Now that Alex isn't their friend anymore, they're just kind of the loner in their class (before he gets sent to the Flicker game)
When the flicker game first starts, he like most people just think it's a run, fake murder mystery game, but one night (a bitttt early on) when they were supposed to get killed they managed to flee and escape into the woods, everyone thinking he's dead
Always puts up a fight when needed
Used to crush on alex and still cares about him as much as he refuses to admit it
Swears a moderate amount
Winks often (ok these HCs sre getting very mundane... um)
Ends up getting along well with most of the flicker players
He constantly feels like HE has to work for everyone (like their mom, having to do chores and upkeep his grades), and although they're very loyal they're also reasonably tired
The start of the flicker game has actually been one of the happiest periods in his life in some time
Can be impulsive
Fidgets often
In classes they barely do anything
Master at solving Rubik's cube
Pretty chill most of the time actually
Into video games too, primarily indie horror and visual novel
Him and Rosalie bicker often
Really wants to be independent, competent and responsible to prove they don't need anyone
They give me Lucas Sinclair and Drew from TMF vibes for sum reason??
Is neurodivergent (bpd, adhd, maybe sumth else idk)
...
Wtf even is this... I'm literally the worst flicker fan to ever exist I'm so sorry
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shooks-stupid-stuff · 14 days
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it's time to be annoying about masumii and takoshi again :]]]]]]]]
only this time, it's au versions (the base concept is what if they swapped places, but in like a masumii was born to takoshi's parents and takoshi was born to masumii's parents so they had the other's lives and genetics and yada yada you get the point way-)
so here, shitty pen doodles (which are inaccurate actually bc i decided to make masumii's turtleneck sleeveless like she usually has)
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more art (from aggies)/inane ramblings under the cut, bc there is A Good Amount and i don't want this post to take up too much space xjdhdjdk-
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ok so takoshi first (ft a knife pika drew hurtling towards him which inspired the 2nd doodle fjcnck) and like. this is just takoshi if he had enough time to cope with his trauma and stop relying on his masking tendencies constantly, and therefore he is just A Little Guy. A Little Goober, if you will. silly and goofy and kinda pathetic but very well meaning and kind. i like him :]
...he is still very depressed though don't be fooled, the trauma is Not As Bad Anymore but it still affects him deeply.
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and now masumii (ft. a bunch of Little Guys drawn by pika) (i didn't feel like drawing her suit jacket also) who is Significantly More Depressed. unlike takoshi she doesn't even try to pretend she has any light left in her eyes, girl is dead inside and dead serious about everything. also unlike takoshi, she's incredibly competent at running a business, you love to see a girlboss win
the interesting part about this au is that, since takoshi and masumii have what i have begun to refer to in my head as "genderlocked trauma", by switching places they kinda avoid the worst of it (and while i definitely could have just changed stuff slightly to make it still work like in the boy masumii/girl takoshi au that i ALSO have solely bc they would have a very comedic height difference, that kinda feels like it would be cheating in this au and also is boring bc i've already done it-)
emphasis on kinda.
because that doesn't mean they can't have DIFFERENT trauma-
overall though, in broad strokes bc i don't wanna get into the trigger-warning hell that is their backstories, takoshi still has his masking tendencies and struggles with doing things that aren't in line with other's perception of him, even if it's not what he wants to do or how he wants to act (this is where the whole flirty fuckboy act comes from) and masumii still has her general disdain for, well. flirty fuckboys, as well as her general abrasiveness towards people she has a bad impression of (and people in general, though normally she does conceal that one (albeit normal masumii does a better job of this)) and she is still incredibly sensitive about people touching or even seeing her neck, which do still have horrible scars(?) on it in this iteration (i'm not 100% sure scars are the right term but idk what is so)
the most interesting part to me though is how this au changes the way their deep rooted self hatred manifests. for takoshi, he really does hate himself, but he knows that all he does by punishing himself is hurt the people who he cares about, and who care about him in turn. and so even though that is something that just makes him more miserable, which he feels he deserves, he's the kind of person who is willing to do ANYTHING to ensure his loved ones are happy, so... he tries to treat himself kindly, and to let himself be happy even if he feels he doesn't deserve it, for their sake. this contrasts regular takoshi, who has absolutely no one to lean on for support, and has a self hatred so deep that he's on the brink of quite literally losing himself since he is pretending to be someone he isn't literally anytime he's around another person. which is like 95% of the time since he almost always has a girlfriend. he doesn't think he deserves anything, and that since people don't want the real him from him, he should just disappear. it's bleak, he's in a really bad place .
masumii, on the other hand, also really hates herself, but she actively takes it out on herself because she thinks she's a good for nothing disgusting hypocrite who deserves everything she gets. she hardly lets others get close enough to help, both because she feels she doesn't deserve it and also because she's incredibly wary about opening up or being vulnerable. and when she does start to enjoy being around someone, she does all she can to deny and suppress those feelings, because in her mind she doesn't deserve to be happy, and no one would want to be near her if they knew the truth (this is something that takoshi also feels, though to a lesser degree than masumii). this is actually pretty similar to regular masumii, with the main difference being WHAT trauma has brought on those specific feelings and responses. regular masumii has also had a lot more time to process said trauma, but (unlike this au's takoshi) has been unable to raise her opinion of herself at all, simply getting better at hiding it rather than actually healing and slowly starting to get over it (that said, regular masumii is at the very least a bit better about her self hatred than this au's masumii; it's still there and strong, but she can force it down and ignore it atleast partially if need be).
yeah i just. i love these guys so much, they're both such horribly broken people but they're able to find love and joy in each other and help each other heal and man that's just so fucking beautiful. it's not like things get better immediately, it still takes time (hell, corporate hell masumii and takoshi who have been together like 60+ years are STILL struggling with their trauma, and they're comedic relief characters-) but they're able to help each other make it through each day, one at a time, and learning to love themselves in the process.
i fucking love these two terrible straight people, thank you for coming to my ted talk
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