#because the thing is; i have this curse on me where romance simply does not happen to me. so it would’ve been a complete waste of time

[mylove-iv]

❝i once saw forever in your eyes.❞

ʚ aged up, botw! link x fem! reader ɞ

synopsis: an alternative beginning to fearless child, broken boy; tell me what it's like to burn (part ii) that is more cut throat with the angst but this fic can also be read independently.

genres: angst, romance. | set pre-calamity.

content warnings: arguing, mentions of war and injuries.

reader specifications: none, no pronouns are used but was written with a female reader in mind.

word count: 832 words.

―originally posted on @mydarling-iv, jan. 2, 2024

ʚ part i ɞ | ʚ part ii ɞ | ʚ masterlist ɞ

Two weeks, two cursed weeks that you lover was away in Gerudo, wasting the time away with the princess beside him and only when he does get home—to you—he is ripped away once more.

“A ball?” You inquire softly, having no energy of meeting Link’s eyes, exhaustion apparent with the ache embedded deeply in your bones.

“Come with me?” He blinks softly, his sky blue eyes reminding you of the times where he and you would nap beneath the shade a tree has to offer under a stunning cloudless sky.

But such times are a thing of the past. The thought is scalding.

Link sees the fire your eyes hold, they’re practically smoldering as you glare at the sealed letter in his hands. “You want me to attend? The ball your princess is holding?” You sneer angrily.

He’s never noticed your anger and it takes him off guard. “It is just a ball, my love-“

“I refuse.” Your words are stern, leaving no room for argument.

Link feels an itch of annoyance claw at him. “I am required to attend, so please, come with me?”

“Go with your princess, Link, I have no interest in catering to the wants of the nobles.”

He’s quick to catch a flicker of hurt in your eyes and he feels his heart break. “Talk to me please?” Link’s voice is soft—vulnerable—and it reminds you of your Link.

Your guard lowers but you feel as if a cold bucket of water was just dunked over you. “You’ve been so angry recently, it isn’t like you—“

“It really isn’t like me Link, yet who can blame me when my spouse is always leaving me alone?”

His eyes narrow, blues darkening in warning. “Forgive me for I am at the very forefront of this war. Battered and wrecked, I come to you first.”

“Yet why do I not feel like I am first? To me, my love,” the pet name is sickly sweet and Link holds back the urge of wincing. “Your precious Zelda is always first.”

Time slows and Link momentarily pauses, he catches himself, “I’m sorry for not noticing until now-” It’s too late, all your hurt—inflicted by him—has turned into anger. 

Anger rips through your very being as you meet his eyes, “You’ve only now noticed, Link? Or is it simply because you’re never here to see me hurt and angered by you and what you do to me?” Your words shock him, the anger masking your hurt irritating Link even further.

“Never here? I’m working to make sure you’re comfortable, that you’re safe, and yet this is what I get in return for giving you a better home than the old cabin we lived in?” Your heart aches as he yells and you’re able to see anger and betrayal simmering in his blue orbs that used to be so serene and calm.

A small laugh tumbles from your lips, your eyes aching with the weight of unshed tears—of having the weight of your relationship on your shoulders. “Do you not understand?”

The words die on Link’s tongue, guilt and hurt leeching into his soul at the sight of your tears. “I care not for the riches they bestow upon you, I care not for the land or titles you may hold, I care not of such things.” You furiously wipe away at your tears, hiccups becoming louder as the seconds pass.

“You are my home, do you not understand?” You look at him in the eye and Link sees defeat dim your eyes and it tears at the very being of his soul.

"I may be a fool for wanting that old cabin back, but at least then I was loved- I felt loved, Link. Yet, you trade that—our happiness—for the artificially that upper society has to offer?"

Guilt and sorrow claws at Link's insides as he feels defeat settle in his bones, a strong melancholy winding itself so tightly around his heart that it is even hard for him to breathe. He sees your eyes, puffy with unshed tears and he's enveloped in an unwanted hug of shame and guilt.

I was a fool. He thinks bitterly as he pays the price of seeing you so hurt, so bruised, but it all pales in comparison to the hurt you've felt, the pain he's forced you to endure.

"I go to sleep in a cold bed, I awake to one, yet does it ever cross your mind that your absence hurts me? And whenever you are home, in my arms, I mourn for myself—for us—and what our relationship could have been.

"Can you believe that? I mourn my lover who is sleeping next to me, I mourn the man who once showed me how much he loves me, I mourn us.” A dry laugh tumbles from your lips as you cry, feeling so alone despite your lover standing before you.

You’re breathless, "Do you not cry my name in the dark like I do yours?"

© 2024 𝐌𝐘𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄-𝐈𝐕. do not copy, repost, share, or translate any of my works to tumblr, social media, and any other websites/platforms.

[kandyzee]

Fiona gallagher and pretty privilege

I think fiona is a great example of how being an attractive white woman can really help shape the way people interpret or misinterpret people's actions, and I've never seen someone talk in depth about it before.

I think one of the main things that stand out to me regarding the way fiona looks is how she is so often boxed into the character type of "sad girl victim." What I mean by that is that people view her as this young woman corrupted by sadness. She's cursed by her environment, and everything she does is okay because of that. Fionas story is undeniably sad, but she isn't always the victim, and despite everything she's gone through, she can mess up. I don't think shameless allows for these kinda characters cause their faults are always portrayed so strongly. Typically, u see teen girls grouped in together, like cassie and effy from skins, Tracy from thirteen. Even a younger character like Debbie isn't as frequently put into this box. Debbie has a devastating story, too. They both have scenes crying and breaking down. Vees heartbreaking storylines of believing she was infertile or having to help her brother her whole childhood are never touched on. People don't see Vee as a 'sad girl victim.' And too me this is because, put simply, fionas pale skin and big puppy dog eyes look better next to lana del rey lyrics then the others do. Fionas sadness and struggle is romanced into something desirable. We see fiona be 'desired' sexually/romanticly many times throughout the show. I think there's something to be said about the way people's admiration for fionas physical body leads them to admire her mental state, even if it's inherently negative at times.

I'm not saying fiona is undeserving of sympathy or in any way trying to downplay her struggles just because she's white and more conventionally attractive. However, I do think it's these traits that make people disregard her wrongdoings where they wouldn't with other characters.

Again, using v and Debbie as examples, their parenting is scrutinised to a much higher degree than fionas, even though fiona is the one who makes the most mistakes. People will in the same breath crisis Debbie for leaving franny with Frank and defend fiona for leaving coke out for liam to find. Realistically, people should be firm on the belief that Debbie's action here isn't as bad. Franny has a fun day out with her grandad, and Liam almost dies. From what I've seen tho a large number of people don't have this opinion. Why does fiona get more grace ? Because she's more conventionally attractive than Debbie!! (Not saying Debbie isn't attractive) Fiona with her slim body, full lips, sharp jaw line are much easier to forgive than Debbie's rounder face, red hair and freckles. V gets called a 'bad mother' most when she is going through postpartum depression. She has an extremely valid reason to be distant with her children. Still, when fiona acts unkindly towards Debbie when she's pregnant, it's fi who gets more leeway. Both v and fiona are extremely attractive, so why does fiona get away with more ?? Because people sympathise more with the white women. Fionas pretty privilege is only intensified by the fact she has white privilege also.

I might make a part two on this cause I think I have more to say, but this is it for now. I had never really thought about this before a couple of weeks ago, so my opinion isn't as defined and solid as it normally is. Can u tell ??

[eerna]

How is the hate watching going? Love your rants 😭

Dhshshsh thank youuu~~

I finished the show, but I was so weak from how dumb the ending was that I forgot to blog about it. God. God what is this show. I will sum up my opinions here.

This isn't an adaptation, it's a totally different alt history with a fantasy twist story. There isn't a single plot point that happens the same way in both the book and the show, including the actual historical guidelines. I don't even think I noticed any book quotes (aside from a few remixed ones, like Jane inventing the "you come here often?" line). Idk why they didn't just call it something else, it's not like MLJ has a big fandom they could mooch off of.

I already whined about this but I need to re-establish it. All the changes made were to make the story into tiktok romantasy brainrot. The book was already super sweet and silly with the horniness appropriate for a YA romance, but these guys went full "booktok authors advertising their romantasy works" with it. It has tropes just for the sake of tropes a la Bridgerton, where it doesn't take its time to relish in any bc it has to sprint to the next one to check the box. How you mess up an arranged marriage plotline is beyond me, I think that Jane and Guildford called each other "wife" and "husband" like??? Twice???? Bc they were too busy holding each other at knife point or looking at each other's showering butts or whatever. They didn't even TRY to include the shared curse, apparently that was too boring and vanilla for them once they wrote in that Ethians keep their clothes on when transforming.

The plot is simply wack. The pacing is off because they stretched the first half of the story across 8 eps 50 minutes each, so a lot of the time everyone is pointlessly meandering waiting for the next plot point/reveal so everyone can move on. And this usually happens in the form of sex scenes. It is actually hilarious how many plot relevant sex scenes there are, at LEAST one per ep, where characters are discussing the plot and/or convincing each other to reveal their secrets. Do the writers know there are other situations that allow characters to talk to each other??? Even Jane and Guildford have sex and she goes "So about your dead mother"

The writers keep forgetring previously established stuff. Edward and Henry can imprison/execute anyone without trial, but Jane has to "find evidence" that these guys are trying to kill her. It is established Ethians absorb their clothes and any items they are holding into their animal form, but then Guildford is running around with a shackle around his neck claiming it will break his spine if he turns into a horse while it is on him, BUT THEN later he gets out of thick ropes that couldn't be cut by turning into a horse??????? Did they forget their own rules of magic??????

The dialogue isn't as bad as something you'd see on CW, but it still isn't good. I hate it when you can tell a show is trying to be edgy by constantly swearing and saying and doing shocking things, it feels unnatural and dumb. Mary in particular is the worst case of this, I don't think she has a single character trait there that isn't there for humor edgyness. She keeps licking and chewing random things, doesn't bathe, keeps getting turned on when her father and brother are mentioned, and has meltdowns like a spoiled child (at one point this is a plot point, as in "Jane gets her to get upset in public so she loses her political credibility", but there are 0 consequences and Mary keeps acting like a child in front of the entire court and NO ONE does anything and she is STILL QUEEN when credits roll on ep 8). This is the MAIN VILLAIN why is ANYONE afraid of her is beyond me. Also the cursing, murderous, racist, genocidal 10-year-old was so annoying and I kept imaging her parents and all of the writers getting sent to the salt mines for putting that little actress through that.

The lead actors are stuck in this mess. Jane and Guildford had good chemistry, in a "these actors clearly know what they are doing even if no one else in the production does" way. It went a step further and Jane had strange charged chemistry with others too, to the point where I was like "... Did she ever smash Susannah???" and "Are we adding Archer into the mix????". Lady Frances and Lord Dudley also made me think "I wish you were in a better show".

Around the midpoint of the show when I realized Jane is not yet gonna be deposed I was like "Oh no, are they splitting it into two seasons???" But then Edward finished up his portion of the story to join the finale and Archer joined Jane so I was like "Oh, they are just changing the culmination to happen during the execution". But THEN the show ends with a cliffhanger and a promise to dethrone Mary. S2 will look even less like the book, but maybe that's a blessing.

The soundtrack sounded so cheap and digital. Amazon do not lie to me and say you couldn't get an orchestra to record it. The tracks were on loop you literally needed like a few days tops to record it.

All in all. This show sucks man I am so annoyed at it

[cooki3face]

about me ♡

This is what I look like, obviously lol ^^

- my name is Bayyinah (by-ee-nuh) , it means the clear evidence that god does exist. From sura 98, of the Quran

- California native, born and raised 🐻❤️

- I was raised muslim, but chose a different life path for myself and fell in love with spirituality and found my purpose.

- I prioritize self expression and being intentional about everything I say and do. What you see is what you get with me, and I never say anything I don’t mean, I never do anything I don’t feel called to do.

- I love the arts, I’m a writer and love to create.

-I’m a big fan of aesthetics and visual stimuli, and I love Pinterest and organizing all the little pictures.

- my big three are: Sagittarius sun, cancer moon, and Virgo rising.

- both my venus and mars are in scorpio. I’m in love with love. A great deal of my life lessons are learned through my interpersonal relationships.

- I’m very passionate about children, motherhood and the home. My moon is in cancer and I have heavy influences in my life surrounding motherhood, my relationship with my mother, and the dynamics and things I’ve experienced growing up. A large quantity of my work, and my lives purpose has to do with breaking generational curses/trauma, spinning gold out of my experiences, and creating room and creating change for youth.

- I’m on my journey to become a certified and licensed midwife, and outside of that I work mainly with children with autism in helping reduce and substitute certain behaviors.

-I love makeup and fashion and the process of putting myself together.

-I’m known for my compassion and empathy and my ability to connect with others.

-my dream is to create and have a better world and I do my part in helping the collective by using my gifts for good, using my heart and my empathy to help heal and create space for others where there wasn’t space for them before.

- I have dyscalculia and struggled with it all my life until I eventually aged out of school and before I moved onto receiving higher education. My mind simply does not process numerical information or processes well. I was either always told that I needed to practice more or that I was simply stupid, neither were the case, but I struggled with a lot insecurity growing up and I always felt like I didn’t really belong in educational settings because of this set back.

-I can draw, and I’m quite good at it but I don’t draw regularly because there are times when my inner perfectionism really gets to me, and I feel the same way about singing, I can sing as well but I don’t because they’re untapped talents that I have and my natural ability does not reach my idea in my head of what true talent is in those areas.

- I struggled with having an anxious attachment style for a really long time. It took me a long time to understand my worth, understand that I was worth keeping, having, loving, paying attention to. And that my worth wasn’t what I could do for others or how much I could tolerate or how much I could stand beside someone through thick and thin and hell and back.

likes:

- I love writing. Journaling, writing stories,etc. my goal is to write and release a novel of my own soon.

- I love smooth jazz, classical music and frequency music, probably a whole lot more than regular music and non instrumentals. I tend to be a little sensitive to stimuli or can feel very easily overwhelmed. So instrumentals and softer music and sounds are really wonderful to me and I love them.

- I love cooking and baking (but only when I feel like it) I like good food, and I’m sort of a foodie. I would travel all over the place just to taste the world if I could. And I love spicy food and Mexican Candy and dumping loads of chili flakes on my food for no reason.

-I love history, and have stored random historical facts in my brain because I just think it’s so interesting.

- I love period pieces and period romances. Romance films, and horror movies. I consume mostly romantic content on purpose.

- I love the sims

-I love animals, and my favorite animal is a cow. If you look up the spiritual significance of a cow as well I think it’s really beautiful. I also really love my cat. She’s my favorite person.

Dislikes:

- I hate being or feeling misunderstood, it took me a lot of time to learn that I didn’t have to bend over backwards to make people see me for who I was or for my intentions or for my gifts or what I can do. The best I can do is be honest and remain intentional about what I do and hope that those who are meant to hear me, will.

- I hate people who have such deeply rooted hatred or disdain for other people who’ve done nothing but do what makes them happy or live in their truth. I hate homophobic people, racists, bigots, red pill men and misogynist, etc.

- I hate it when people can’t take accountability for their actions, are dishonest or lack self awareness on such a deep level that they make everyone else miserable or have a hard time because they refuse to see themselves or grow. I hate it when people don’t grow. I’ve lost a lot of friends and had to let go of a lot of people who couldn’t do what I could do for them, be in alignment with me, or prioritize their healing, alignment, or growth.

- i hate it when there’s too many sounds playing at once, there are certain sounds and stimuli i just can’t tolerate and won’t.

- I hate it when I have to buy new jeans or pants because finding good pants is hard and I never know if the size I think I am is accurate because some pants brands make their pants differently. And I’ll never know if I’ll have that stupid gap in the back of my pants bc of my waist.

- I hate being super cold. I have anemia and the cold really whoops my ass every time. That’s one fight I just won’t win.

- people not valuing my needs or continuing to do something I said I didn’t like or invalidating me because they can’t fathom the fact that other people have different needs, or that just because you feel some way doesn’t mean someone else shares the same sentiment.

- I hate it when things don’t match or aren’t aesthetically coordinated in some way shape or form. I have a spam account on my Instagram and it drives me insane because it’s all these different colors and it’s disorganized. So I just don’t look at it anymore.

-I hate it when I can’t find the pen I’ve been obsessed with and I hate mechanical pencils with thick lead.

***

Ok, that’s all lol. ❤️‼️

[marciabrady]

What do you think of the Love at First Sight trope, especially when it comes to the early Disney Princess movies? Some people may find love at first sight to be hackneyed or outdated these days, but I am very interested in what you have to say about it. I don't think you ever talked about it at length.

I think it's beautiful. A lot of people bash on it for not being realistic, but there's something to be said for things that are either aspirational or simply escapist. And, honestly, I don't think it's that bad of a thing to glorify or like? It's a fantasy- Cinderella has a pumpkin coach, not an uber lol it's totally feasible that she'd meet the love of her life while going to a ball that her Fairy Godmother sent to and it is to distinguish that, in these universes, these are the loves of their life (otherwise Snow White and Aurora still would've been under sleeping curses). And I think, in the age where most people can't even get someone to commit or a text back after a first date, being able to see the example of someone as steadfast as Snow White's Prince, who continues to look for her for seasons even when she seems lost to him, is something that is refreshing and healthy.

They each go about showcasing this notion in different ways. Snow White is an orphan with no one in the world that loves her, and her wish in the well is very clear. "I'm dreaming of the nice things he'll say." Before it can echo back to her, she finds him- the literal answer to her hopes and dreams. That's so empowering to me? That she believed she was enough and wanted better for herself, and knew what she wanted, and that his existence was contingent upon her wish in the well. It's a young, sweet romance- that's so pure. When he sings of his love being "constant and true," we see it in the film, as he continues to search for her until the very end and which lends credence to Snow White singing "Someday My Prince Will Come." She doesn't stress over whether they will ever see one another, because despite the time or distance that might separate them, they're never lost to one another. That's why she tells the hag, "Well, there is someone" when she's asked if that's someone she loves.

Cinderella and Charming's love is also different- neither of them were looking for it or expected it. Cinderella never mentions wanting love, nor does Charming; to the contrary, Charming is placed in front of an endless bevy of beautiful women, decked out in the finest clothing they have, and he's unimpressed (I dare anyone to tell me that his interest in Cinderella was based on looks). Appearances mean little to nothing to him. While we listen to the Grand Duke's metatextual speech though, we see Charming spot Cinderella out from the crowd and approach her. "There she stands, the girl of his dreams. Who she is or whence she came, he knows not. Nor does he care. But his heart tells him that here, here is the maid predestined to be his bride." It's a pure vibes thing, and when you are in contact with that person you were meant for, many consider this to be a twin flame, it changes everything. That's why Charming knew he could never go back to life the way it was before the ball after Cinderella left; he couldn't live a life without her. I also think it's so fitting for them and cute that they vibed out for hours at the ball, considering Cinderella fighting so hard to go to a party so that she could enjoy herself.

Aurora and Phillip also have their unique connection. They're both extremely romantic and fantasy oriented- Phillip literally slays a dragon for Aurora's honor and promises to renounce the throne after meeting her for a single afternoon. Aurora, while she returns to the castle to fulfill her royal obligation, feels that life without him is empty and can't contemplate a life without love- it'd be like a bird without a song. While they have different temperaments and characters, I think they compliment one another beautifully and have such great chemistry that it truly does feel as though they'd met once upon a dream.

In any of these cases, if the connections were shallow or something where one forgot about the other the next day, that'd be another matter entirely. But they were all willing to fight for their love, show commitment under extreme circumstances, a unyielding devotion, and both a chemistry and a connection that was special unto each pairing and underlined a natural affinity toward one another so I don't see what's wrong with it and I lean more toward these types of relationships over the Disney ones where they just yell at one another repeatedly or resort to physical violence for comedy.

[undiscovered-horizon]

Hi could I request kissing in the rain with Morpheus after a fight?; thank you

[MASTERLIST] | [Sandman-inspired playlist]

“Is my love not good enough for you?”

In all of his passions, Morpheus can quickly come on a little too strong. Although, ‘little’ should be treated as a diplomatic euphemism. There’s an element of mindless obsession in him, an endless chasm that deepens the stronger his affection is. It scares you. Not because he’s changing into a violent beast of rotten flesh and unrequited love but because you don’t know how to handle it - for every nugget of gold you might think about, Morpheus shoves entire pounds of red diamonds into your hands. While such devotion sounds wonderful on yellowing pages of vintage romances, the reality is quite underwhelming: you feel burdened, pressured, as though there is a debt you have to repay him. And this imagined debenture is slowly but surely killing your love for him.

“I never said that and I never meant anything like that. I said that it feels like you’re smothering me and that’s exactly what I meant by it - you’re going a bit too fast and too strong for me.”

“All that I have given you is a token of my own affection. Human language is not quite sufficient in expressing it.”

“Do you ever consider how your actions make me feel? What am I saying, of course you don’t! You go around guessing what I want or need but never bother actually to ask. This,” you frantically point between him and you, “will not work like that. I don’t want it to.”

And without exchanging any more words, you shut the door behind you and left into the night. Wandering the empty, dark streets of the city, you have not headed anywhere in particular except forwards. Tears are streaming down your face. You couldn’t stop them even if you tried. Shortly after, the rain started pouring as though the night wasn’t cold enough already. A string of curse words leaves your mouth as you hug yourself tightly.

Rid of strength, both physical and emotional, you sit on the curb of some unnamed street you’ve never been to before. All of it is wrong. So very wrong… You have stumbled upon a man who was more than glad to treat you like a queen in a castle and the most rational thing to do, judging by your behaviour, was to tell him off for being too much.

You put your face in your hands. The cold rain was drenching you and you could no longer tell whether your palms were wet with rainwater or your own tears. A shudder shakes your body but you don’t care at the moment. Tomorrow you’re going to wake up with a cold but, again, it doesn’t matter at the moment. Nothing really does.

“I know you can hear me, Morpheus,” you whisper under your breath. “You always do, somehow. I want to make things right. I have to. Please, just… give me a chance.”

You feel heavy material around your shoulders. It smells somewhat sweet and musty like fruits and parchment. The warmth of the garment is a pleasant change from the cold rain. Surprised, you look up only to see Morpheus standing right in front of you. The small area surrounding you is suddenly dry, the rainstorm miraculously avoiding the feuding couple.

“It is unsafe for you to be out at this time,” he states in a voice strangely devoid of emotions. Morpheus appears indifferent as he helps you up from the curb. Is he not as upset as you had expected? “This is me giving you chance.”

You look away for a moment, gathering your thoughts. There is so much you want to say, it’s hard to decide where to start. You already messed up once and although you know Morpheus is lovestruck enough to let you break his heart numerous times, it was simply wrong to rub salt further into the wounds you have inflicted, even if it was not intentional. “It’s just… you don’t love like humans do, you know?”

“Why would I? I’m not human.”

Silence. Part of Morpheus expects this disagreement in the way he’s too familiar with - his heart being shattered, reality-bending love rejected as if it could never be good enough. Like he is not good enough to have a happy ending.

“Look, Morpheus, you’ve got all of eternity to fall in love and get your heart broken only to love again. I’ve only my life, not even a century. I want to be certain before I commit.”

“What would make you certain?” he asks immediately.

Truthfully, it’s a very expected reaction from him. Something about his predictability makes you scoff quietly. “You can’t just make me certain that I want this life. It’s consistency, reliability, trust… Time, Morpheus. I need time. With you; just the two of us being together, no grand gestures involved. I want to know you, not what you can give me.” Staring at Morpheus’s face, you think he looks a little lost as though it was beyond him to disjoin those two elements. A troubled sigh leaves your lips. In the cold night air, the expression of distraught turns into a barely visible cloud of fog. “What I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry, Morpheus. I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that. I know you mean well and that you only show just how much I mean to you but I need you to be patient with me. I’m still learning what it’s like to be loved by one of the Endless.”

“As much as I do not like idly waiting, I do have all of eternity to wait until you’re ready.”

His thin hands cradle your face. Morpheus leans in, your noses brushing against each other, but he lingers as though he was waiting. His shaky breath feels hot against your lips. Then, ever so gently, Morpheus tilts your head upwards only to lock you in a desperate, longing kiss. 

You just know he isn’t going to have to wait long.

[anneapocalypse]

1, 2, 4, 8, 19 for the dav meme!

Veilguard Hype Ask Meme!

What was the first Dragon Age game you played?

Origins! I've been here since the beginning. Alongside Fallout 3, it was one of the first RPG video games that absolutely ate my brain. I have fond memories of sitting on my futon playing DAO for like 16 hours straight, forgetting to eat and destroying my back.

2. Which Dragon Age game is your favorite so far?

This is always such a hard question for me to answer, because the three games are all so different, and I have deeply fond memories of all three of them, and I can also look at all three pretty frankly and see their flaws even as I still enjoy them. I think if I have to name a favorite though, it's still Dragon Age 2. Something about its structure and scale, the creative and unusual use of place and time, and its themes, really appeals to me. I've also come to really like the personality lock-in feature even though it does place some limitations on role-playing, and I love the friendship-rivalry system. I love it so much. I think it makes for much more interesting character relationships than simply "Does this character approve or disapprove of my actions?" Are there things about the other games that I prefer, of course. I want to be able to play as an elf or a dwarf or a qunari, for one. But even after all this time, DA2 still hits me a certain way. I love the other two games as well. There's just something about Kirkwall.

4. What does your worldstate look like going into DAV?

So I have like five or six world states and I don't consider any one of them more canon than the others, but I will be going into Veilguard for the first time with Rogues Gallery, which is exactly what it sounds like (and which means the one thing I know about my Rook is they'll be a rogue), featuring Jolene Cousland, Mallory Hawke, and Calla Cadash.

Basic rundown:

The Circle was saved, Connor and Isolde both lived, Zathrian broke the curse, and Harrowmont is King of Orzammar.

Jo romanced Alistair and convinced him to do the Dark Ritual.

They stayed Grey Wardens and rode off into the sunset together.

Anora is Queen of Ferelden.

Nathaniel is alive.

The Architect was spared.

Vigil's Keep and Amaranthine were protected.

Jo went off alone to find a cure for the Calling, and Alistair was left in the Fade.

Carver is dead, Bethany is alive and a Grey Warden.

Mal romanced Isabela. (In my headcanon, they later become a polycule with Merrill but of course that's not in the game.)

She rivaled everyone except the rogues and Merrill.

Bartrand is dead. Varric kept a piece of the idol.

Aveline did not marry Donnic.

Feynriel went to the Dalish, and then to Tevinter.

Clan Sabrae was killed.

Merrill did not destroy the Eluvian.

Mal refused to take any kind of a stand until the very end of Act III where she heaved a big sigh and sided with the mages.

She disapproved of Anders' actions but spared his life.

Mal is still alive and kicking.

Calla romanced Josephine.

She conscripted the rebel mages and the Grey Wardens.

Alistair was left in the Fade.

I left off with her right before Wicked Eyes and Wicked Hearts, so I am not sure of her decisions from her onward! But I do plan to finish this playthrough before Veilguard comes out. :)

8. What faction are you most excited to learn more about?

I'm pretty hype about all of them, but I'd say the Lords of Fortune and the Veil Jumpers the most since we know the least about them!

19. Are you planning to replay any of the previous games, watch Dragon Age: Absolution, or read any of the books/comics/short stories, or are there other games you want to play in the meantime?

I do plan to finish my current playthrough of Inquisition (Calla's playthrough) which is still incomplete. Beyond that, maybe I'll re-read some of my favorite Tevinter Nights stories. I spent about three years (2020-2023) playing the whole series on repeat like 5-6 times and reading and watching all the side content I could get my hands on, so... I'm probably good on that front. ;)

Final Fantasy XIV is getting a new expansion, Dawntrail, in just a couple weeks, so that should occupy a good chunk of my summer, and I expect I'll be ready to play some more Dragon Age in the fall in preparation for Veilguard! (Would love to get an actual release date, though.)

[alrightbuckaroo]

Thanks to @jesuisici33, @lemonlyman-dotcom, @orchidscript for the tags and double thanks to @welcometololaland for the tag and thinking up this lovely little game <3

Rules: List your WIPs below (if you only write one fic at a time, feel free to include future WIPs/ideas!) then answer the following questions. Then, tag as many people as you have WIPs (or more)

1. WIP List:

Alright, so to save you from endless scrolling, I'm just going to list those that have a semblance of a plot and some words written (because surprisingly, yes there are more):

you can't catch a sinner with a saint (old west au)

yesterday's love was a warm summer breeze (sequel to the parisian summer romance au)

lone star lately (workplace mid 2000s rom-com au)

beauty lingers out of reach (artist!carlos nude model!tk au)

everybody is somebody's fool (1940s au)

the rolling thunder of your finger tips (reporter!tk weatherman!carlos dom/sub au)

the sunshine is in your smile (alternate first meeting)

these eyes don't cry (5 + 1)

love in a hurricane (bodyguard au)

love by any other name (witness protection au [but make it funny] )

shoot a man and watch him die (on the lam au)

29 going on 30 (tk turns thirty event fic)

come and take a walk on the wild side (partly published, partly driving me bonkers)

We'll be here forever if I tell you the summary of each one, but if you want to know more, don't be afraid to ask!

2. Which of your WIPs is currently the longest?:

come and take a walk on the wild side is currently 60k and does not show ANY sign of stopping right now.

3. Which WIP do you expect will end up the longest?

I'm thinking either the Old West AU or the 1940s AU simply because I plan to do such vast world building.

4. Which WIP is your favourite to write/the most enjoyable to write? Why?

Old West AU for sure, but that's also where most of my mind has been on my upcoming WIPs. I'm going to love revisiting the "We'll Always Have Paris" verse though.

5. Which WIP do you find the most intimidating to write? Why?

Either the 1940s AU because it's a case fic and I'll have to put a lot of thought into that b-plot or the On the Lam AU because it's not going to be the most sanitized storytelling.

Neither Carlos nor Tk is the villain, but the world won't see it that way.

6. Which WIP do you experience the most self-doubt about. Why?

I think it's yesterday's love was a warm summer breeze, the sequel to summer slipped us underneath her tongue.

I didn't expect so many people to be excited for the sequel, let alone love the story so much, so I'm just hoping I continue doing justice to that little world.

7. Which of your WIPs will you seek out a beta/sensitivity reader for? Why?

I'm not sure, I think I might need a sensitivity reader for these eyes don't cry simply because I've never written a therapist before.

8. Have any of your WIPs been struck by the curse of writer's block?

come and take a walk on the wild side was on the mend for a second there, but right now the inspiration is back. TK's interlude is being written, ya'll!

9. Which WIP has your favourite OC? Tell us about them?

If you've read any of my AUs you know I LOVE a good OC so this is like asking me to pick a favorite child.

Ruth Baker is an office clerk in the Old West AU who I simply just adore. I get to write things like this:

Roy chuckles and it’s both sinister and mocking. “Oh Reyes, what I actually want to say wouldn’t be polite to do so in such,” Roy’s eyes glance over at Ruth, they land on her chest for a little too long. “Feminine company.” “Eat shit, Roy.” Ruth’s cigarette doesn’t move as she says it, not once looking up from her typewriter. 

10. Which WIP is the sexiest?

come and take a walk is sexy but it's not the couple you necessarily want to root for so that might be subjective. Though, I do get write fun moments like this:

“God,” Hartlock emphasizes the word, putting a mix of exasperation and desperate, wanton longing. TK’s aware of where this is going and decides to lean into it. He lowers himself on his lap, straddling him. Hartlock welcomes him, as if his lap is a spot made for TK. “You are such a handful.” He places his hands on TK’s hips, reaches under his shirt and touches his bare skin. his fingertips feeling like a sunburn. TK leans in and whispers, “I know, but that’s what you’ve got two hands for.” He presses his lips against Sam’s neck, kissing it with intent. Hartlock gives in to the moment, his hands looking to grab purchase on TK’s skin.

If we're talking strictly Tarlos sexy; toss up between the Old West AU and the Bodyguard AU (for now 🤭)

11. Which WIP is the angstiest?

Definitely these eyes don't cry. That said, it's almost been one of the most fun to write; so what does that really say about me 🥴

12. Which WIP has the best characterisation (in your humble opinion)?

I write so many AUs so it's hard to say who's extremely true to the show, but maybe these eyes don't cry since it's exploring what the show has given us as Carlos?

13. Which WIP has the best scene setting (in your humble opinion)?

Old West AU most likely. That's one I'm really take my time with the world building on. By the end of you're going to be so sick of hearing about dim bar lightning, crooked streams and blood crusted eyebrows.

14. Which WIP have you worked the hardest on?

Right now, it's probably yesterday's summer love was a warm summer breeze since I made both TK and Carlos' journey in the Parisian Summer AU so detailed. Now I have to keep it going LMAO

Here's what the research folder looks like right now (and I haven't even fully started writing it yet):

15. Which WIP do you have the highest expectations for? Why?

Old West AU because I'm finally writing things I've always wanted to give myself the chance to write. Cowboys, religious imagery, a fully fleshed arc and hey, the smut is kind of just icing on the cake at this point.

16. Do you dream about any of your WIPs?

I actually just had one (as in TODAY) and I dreamed I wrote half a chapter of two of them and just POSTED THEM??

17. Do any of your WIPs have particular complexities that your other fics don't?

I'm hesitant to say other stories won't have these things going forward, come and take a walk on the wild side really does utilize the non-linear storytelling tag and the unreliable narrator tag.

You're not supposed to agree with TK often, but that's the point.

That said, I love an unreliable narrator so I can't say it won't show up again. It just doesn't show up in the other works I'm working on, right now.

18. Which WIP is the funniest or has the most humour?

Either Lone Star Lately or Beauty Lingers Out of Reach. Lone Star Lately is literally a workplace rom-com au that teeters the line of enemies to lovers it's gotta be FILLED with humor.

19. Do any of your WIPs contain outside POVs or a deep dive on a character other than the main ship? How are you finding that process?

Owen's arc is actually the B Plot of the Witness Protection AU! I love a good b-plot (and sometimes even a c-plot) and this one is no different.

Due to being in the Witness Protection program and not being able to be out in the public eye as often as he used to, he can't be a firefighter for the time being. So, now he has to figure out who he is when he's not his job.

20. Tell us one thing we don't know about one or more of your WIPs.

Four of these AUs already have sequels outlined - some are multi-chapter, some are just really long one-shots

I'm actually working on one that's a giant secret and I can't wait to share it with all of you (it's been a blast to write so far)

no pressure tagging: @heartstringsduet, @carlos-in-glasses, @strandnreyes, @reyesstrand, @bonheur-cafe, @freneticfloetry, @rosedavid, @ambiguouspenny, @wandering-night19, @thisbuildinghasfeelings, @lightningboltreader, @paperstorm, @three-drink-amy, @chaotictarlos, @carlos-tk, @sanjuwrites, @birdclowns, @basilsunrise, @cold-blooded-jelly-doughnut, @catanisspicy, @rmd-writes, @kiloskywalker, @whatsintheboxmh, @guardian-angle22 and of course anyone who wants to join in :)

if you're an artist, gifmaker or cross-stitcher, these questions might be better suited for you :)

[a-shakespearean-in-paris]

about that guy I met on my European vacation--

OK, don’t get too excited, nothing that crazy or illegal happened. But I learned a few things about myself in the process that I thought I’d share. GET READY BECAUSE SHE A LONG ONE

So here I am on my 35 day European tour of a lifetime, starting in Barcelona and ending in Greece. When I get to Barcelona I have to meet my tour director after driving from the airport because he has the keys to our rooms. I knew he was Greek beforehand in the group chat--I’ve seen My Big Fat Greek Wedding about a million times and also I’ve played Assassin’s Creed Odyssey, and his accent confirms it. “I like your name,” he says when I introduce myself, and it’s from this point onward that I have two missions for this trip. Number one: have an amazing time. Two: avoid this man at all costs, except when necessary for the tour. 

Avoiding him is simply about survival, even if he seems personable and truly wants to get to know all of us on the tour. I know I’m not that interesting a person and he is quite good looking and also really charming. If I’m not careful, I’ll catch feelings. I know me. He’ll just be doing his job and I’ll mistake it for attraction. I’ve lived through this song and dance before. It’s the curse you wear when you’ve grown up in a body that society doesn’t deem as good enough. Even if time has made me what society would call “prettier,” old thoughts of you’re not pretty enough for him are going to linger, lines forged by the likes of my grandmothers and casting directors. I am the funny side character, not the romantic lead. Hell, in college I wasn’t even on the stage. I remained in the backstage area as the helper. The funny side character stays on the sidelines. She provides funny banter, not the romance arc. She has to protect herself. 

Yet there’s a moment after Barcelona before we head to Paris where he ends up having dinner with me and my friend, myself terrified when he plops down at the same restaurant we’ve chosen. I don’t do much of the talking, my friend does, asking him all sorts of questions about his life I wish I could have asked, and some brazen ones in my mind anyway like are you married or attached? he’s not, come to find out. I glean he’s sort of a wayward traveler and content with that, but he admits he’s getting a bit too old for this tour directing thing. He also lets me try his food. It’s a small kindness I wouldn’t have expected from an American man. I feel brave. I tell him I like the way he says my name. 

“That’s what I said,” he says, twinkle in his eye. (No, it’s not. I let it be. I like the way he says it. To Europeans I even begin introducing myself via his pronunciation.)

Time passes without incident. I follow my promises in Paris, London, and Amsterdam. I know my other friend L likes him a lot and says she danced with him in Paris where they connected. It’s probably true, but I don’t know--I also can’t help but feel there’s something in the way he looks at me. A glimmer of something or other that some part of me recognizes, but doesn’t think can be the case. Not for me. I know my place. Then Prague happens. 

A lot of things happen in Prague. The morning of our tour through the city I get an email asking if I’m still interested in joining the company I applied to before my trip. I can’t believe it. I’m in Europe, and when I come back there is now the possibility I won’t have to go back to teaching. The day goes on, a terrible heat wave in the city. He takes the group out to a medieval dinner--sort of an interactive renaissance fair. We’re all as a unit, very drunk and ready for more drinking and dancing. It may be one of the best days of my life. Here I am in Europe, a world away from last year in the deepest pits of my depression and anxiety, drinking beer with an amazing group of travelers who I get to call my friends. We hit one bar, and then another, an Irish pub where he is, of course--he loves his Irish pubs and makes no secret of it. He flits around and some of my friends chit chat with him, but I of course don’t say anything. Of course we want to keep the party going--so we head out to this eighties dance club where he follows. I admit my eye is on him during the night--he helps out one of my friends who gets so drunk she can’t walk. (And he avoids her attempts to hit on him as well) but mostly I dance and I dance and I dance and I drink and I let loose in a way I don’t think I ever have. I feel beautiful. I feel free. And hell, when I see myself in the mirror--I am beautiful. Later, my friend tells me how cute I was drunk. I let loose. She’s right. Everything is perfect, except for the nagging realization I have to pee.

Upon what I call the pee test, wherein you get to see how drunk you are in the bathroom, I am moderate. I can stand but things are a little wobbly. Not the drunkest I’ve been, but pretty drunk. I emerge from the bathroom. There he is. 

He grabs my hand. He doesn’t let go. He stares into my goddamn soul. One of my friends is prattling on about going to another bar, I think, but it’s so loud because “Here Comes the Rain Again” or something is playing. He is insistent I come along too to this other bar with them all, still looking into the depths of my soul and holding my hand. In my drunken, yet still somewhat lucid state, I ask him why on earth he’s standing outside the girl’s bathroom. No answer, but my hand is still in his, and his eyes are still looking into the depths of my goodman soul. I feel really fucking pretty. So pretty, part of me realizes a good looking man is holding my hand. I hold on tighter.

We don’t end up going to another bar, we end up staying, but still holding my hand he takes me away from the girl’s restroom, finally, and eventually a tentative arm is places around me, something I reciprocate until more people crowd around. Shots are bought. We take a shot together before back to the dance floor we go. He dances with me, our backs turned in this shoulder-to-shoulder sort of shimmy, and I am vaguely aware of my ass grinding against his. When it’s over I am horror-stricken. People definitely saw me grind with our hot as hell Grecian tour director. But I’m in it too deep. I want to dance with him again, and I throw out some joke as I shake my hips about how they are going to hurt tomorrow--to which he laughs. It’s at this point another girl notices and literally throws herself on him. I watch with my mouth agape as he fights off her advances, and watch as he eventually untangles himself and leaves. 

I can’t sleep that night. Number one there’s a heat wave and I’m on the top bunk, and two, I’m swimming with thoughts of what the hell just happened. He started it, but why? The funny side character shouldn’t be treated like the romantic lead. The morning comes and the girls in my room mention his behavior from previous cities after noting how the other girl danced on top of him. They mention behavior I haven’t seen, and are concerned about his professionalism and if tour guides should go out dancing with tour groups. “I think I danced with him,” I say. “You did,” my friend replies. I  can’t help but feel judged. 

We move on from Prague in our trip. In Switzerland I decide to accept the new job. I see more glances from him here and there. He watches me get hit on in Venice. Then there’s this one particular look he gives me before we drive to Florence that I can’t shake away. I tell him good morning and the way he replies, you’d think I made his morning. 

Once in Rome I end up crying. We are deep into the trip and I want to talk to my Mom about my new job and also what happened. It’s confusing and I don’t get it and is this lack of professionalism true or something that should bother me? My friend L tells me a rumor he kissed a girl in Barcelona in our group and confessed his life story to her--and she says she doesn’t like him anymore, albeit for different reasons. I never ask. But there’s something ingrained within me that senses shenanigans will happen, even that night after I kiss an Italian boy. 

I’m right. It’s the second night in Rome. I go to a bar with two other friends. Apparently this is his favorite Irish bar in the whole of Europe, and of course he’s there. He plops beside me, deriding my choice in drinking Heineken when I should get an Italian beer. He asks me what I’m going to do when I come back to the states. I joke about ice water. He teases me. I tell him the truth, that I want to talk to my mom about a few things. I think about Prague, but leave that out and tell him about my new job, and how it’s everything I wanted but I’m nervous to leave teaching and also take a decrease in pay, but it’s also exciting because my head will be clearer to write more during the day, and I get a foothold in a career that’s interesting to me. He’s happy for me. 

From there, we talk, and we talk, and we talk and do occasional shots with the others I came with. The night is a blur, I can’t say everything we talked about--movies for one where he’s impressed I know who Laurence Olivier is. (”Of course I do! I’m a Shakespearean!”) and places he’s been to. he loves architecture, and tells me I could pass as Italian, and even Greek. (He’s right, I get mistaken for Greek a lot a little later) I show him a picture of my grandparents, and when my friend next to me starts showing pictures of the various colors she’s dyed her hair, I casually mentioned I stopped dyeing my hair. “Why would you?” he asks, “it’s a pretty color.” Once, he offhandedly mentions he’s self-conscious about his accent. I tell him I like it. Rather bashfully, he thanks me.

He takes a picture of us in the bar and posts it to the group chat. More people arrive. We kind of remain by each other’s side. He buys me a beer separate from the rest of the group. At some point I have to pee. On my way back from peeing I end up smooching another Italian man. He uses too much tongue too quickly for my taste. On my way back, he follows me. You know who sees this whole exchange and is very amused I got hit on, apparently. I think I mention something or other about my therapist telling me to kiss boys in Europe. Then he’s gone--gone without saying goodbye, and I’m a little upset but mostly I’m elated. I talked virtually all night with a man I find attractive, and not once did I run away. My good mood is only spoiled by the fact that I learn when I call home that my grandma was placed in the hospital.

The next day after the Vatican I’m eating with my friend L and a few others, and she casually mentions how he tried to get her to party with him yesterday. Driven by tiredness and also my news from the previous night, I go to my hotel room and cry. I don’t feel like he played me, but more so that I played myself. I’m just the funny side character after all. Why would I think I’m special? We’re going to Greece in the morning, and my body is just so tired I have no desire to go. 

But go we do, and once in Athens I just feel very, very happy. I can’t even really describe why the city makes me so happy. but I feel safe there. I feel like maybe the past life reader I emailed back in April was right, Greece was once my home in a time before. One thing is sure, I am not wasting my time on my tour director anymore. I’m just going to enjoy the rest of the trip. 

Except he’s eating lunch the same place me and my friends decide to eat at. We leave him be but he’s as amiable as ever. And then later that night when me and another group of girls decide to go for drinks at a rooftop bar---he tags along. I don’t really speak to him much, other girls in the group dominate the conversation, but I try my best to look wistful and unbothered. He lets me sip from his beer, and when I ask my smoker friend for a cigarette puff  he beats her and gives me a puff of his. He mentions the Irish bar in Rome and how I was there with him. I feel a sort of electricity when he plops by me to smoke and he’s pointed toward me. 

The next day at the Acropolis he gives me this sort of playful, dreamy look I don’t see him give anyone else, and I ask if he thinks I look silly in my hat. “Yes,” he says, and I laugh. Another dreamy look in Paros when we’re by ourselves by the sea for the briefest moment. He looks at me like I’m a revelation. It makes me laugh. It makes me feel like the romantic lead. One last wistful look the next morning before we return to Athens when he tells me “good morning.” Again, I feel a sort of revelation. My friend tells me later there’s a rumor he slept with a girl in our group. I kind of don’t care.

At our last dinner in Athens before we all must leave, I give him his tip. We embrace, we take a photo. He wants me to send it to him. I do, and he gives it a little heart. He comes out dancing with the group, one last time. I don’t see him for a bit, but when he bumps into me in the club he asks me where my drink is. I ask him if he’s going to buy me one to replace it. He teases me before agreeing, and then more people crowd around and suddenly we’re taking shots. It’s at this point I see the rumored girl he slept with in our group cuddle up near him, to which he doesn’t reciprocate. I give a certain look of disgust, one he mirrors. “What happened to the Irish bar?” he asks me. I am possessed. I put my hand on his cheek and I tell him I’ll always remember it. He will too, he says. That’s his favorite in all of Europe. 

I remember that souvenir I bought in Athens a few days ago, my name on a necklace in Greek. He’s supposed to give it me at some point, and when I ask he says he’ll just keep it if he forgets. YOU’RE GOING TO KEEP A NECKLACE WITH MY NAME? I ask, and he just looks sheepishly at me. I know I have to leave soon, so I say my goodbyes. “If I don’t see you, when I leave in the taxi to the airport,” I tell him, “I will kill you.” And then I embrace him again. I kiss his cheek. 

Such a simple thing, a kiss. I always thought I would have to be deliberate about it, because I imagined kissing his cheek in parting before. I wasn’t so. I was possessed, automatic. When he kisses me back on my cheek, an immediate response, it feels like an I see you, you were beautiful, I enjoyed my time with you. It feels romantic. 

So we part a few hours later with an embrace--nothing too crazy. But when I’m home, I message him because he asked us to let him know when we’re home safe. I thank him in Greek, and thank him for everything. I tell him I’m glad I stopped waiting around for someone and did what I always wanted to do. He thanks me. Am I going to leave it there? He lives in Greece, I live here. He told me he wouldn’t live in the US. Fuck, I’d move to Europe for true love, though the chance of him being it for me are very, very slim. I do know he said he’d mention if he was in the US, and asked me to mention if I was in Europe. Of course I’ll go back to Europe. I’ll always return. And I may need to message him. Some of my stories take place partly in Greece. I need research help.

In my therapist’s chair upon my return, she tells me who cares if the rumor about him sleeping with someone is true or not, I know what happened between him and I. He’s a tour director and he probably lied when he said he would never do something like that in Athens. At the end of the day, he’s European, and Europeans have different sensibilities. Good for me for kissing him, and after all, it’s not really about him. It’s about how I felt confident, I felt beautiful, and I held a man’s attention. She’s right of course. She’s always right. This story isn’t about a romance, it’s about the funny side character coming into her own, and knowing she can be the lead. It’s about how I got to know this amazing, incredible woman, and now I know I can’t be without her. And, my therapist says, it’s time for me to write my book. 

I used to be sad I didn’t have a partner, how I would look at pictures of my cousin’s family and be jealous. But I see them now, and I see how beautiful it is, but I also see how that’s not what I want. Not quite yet, I still want to travel. I must, for me. For my soul. For the art that I will make. 

And as for my tour director, I waffle back and forth now that I’m home. I know I can live without him. I’m ready for the man I will marry, but I also don’t want him yet, weirdly enough. There are things I have to do. I learned that in Europe. I learned that with my tour director, talking with him, exchanging heated looks with him he didn’t give anyone else. I was careful to observe that. I admit, there are parts of me that have this knowing that there’s more and I haven’t seen or heard the last of Nikos.  

I guess time will tell. I’m happy either way. I’m still the lead.

[moonlitinks]

Writer Q&A Tag Game

Thank you to bestie @writingbyricochet for tagging me! CAN WE JUST START OFF WITH THAT LITTLE WRITING SNIPPET (AND THE KISS SCENE) THAT HAD ME SQUEALING??? I AM SO, SO EXCITED FOR PARADISE LIVED AND DIED. for anyone interested in this amazing writer, her answers are linked here!

1) What motivates you to write?

Whenever I sit there and read a good book in one sitting for hours. The magic. The characters. The romance. The ACTION. It just makes me realize that I want to ignite this same feeling to others, and I want to make my book feel like a second home for them to escape to <3

2) A line/short snippet of your writing that you are most proud/happy of. If not maybe share a line of someone else's work you love (just please credit them)

This is my most recent writing snippet that I'm just SO HAPPY TO WRITE I DON'T KNOW WHY

“Well, I think you’re a selfish—” Rip. The sound of her skirt tearing caused her to pause, and the magpie picked and picked at the edges of her dress. What was it doing? Bari grabbed at the remaining pieces before she exposed herself and got kicked out due to indecency. He stared at her with indifference, scowling like he could not take her at all. “There,” he said. “Now you have no reason to cling to me.” He snatched the magpie from the air and Bari cried out in alarm. Even the bird seemed to sense the dangerous aura that the he emitted, pecking at the space in between them. Altair paused at where the magpie pecked, and his gaze slipped for a second, enough to Bari to snatch her bird back, and the lantern in the other.  She really did need to get rid of the lantern, but it wouldn’t move because, apparently, even an enchanted object believed that she didn’t know what she wanted. “Tell me to take a voice.”

3) Which OC makes you smile every time you think/talk about them and what are they like?

Altair, because he's so complex. I always love a character that is more mysterious and has a lot of history to unpack behind them because of all the awful things they've done, but a lot of guilt and regret following them, too. Seeing their transformation arc is BEAUTIFUL.

4) What process of writing do you enjoy the most?

Drafting and creating plot twists! And brainstorming / daydreaming about ideas. If you can't tell, I'm not much of a plotter haha.

5) What part of writing do you think you are the best at? (Yes stroke your own ego it's okay)

Inner dialogue! And I think I really like getting in depth with characters, so you really know them.

6) What is something in the writeblr community is most enjoyable?

I think I love it because we're all honest about the writing process. Writing is really lonely and it actually can really drain you mentally without the right mindset. Personally, I have a lot of anxiety, so seeing people that understand me really makes me feel like I can write and simply enjoy it. It also makes me feel less alone.

7) A writing tool/device you use that helps you with writing? (It could be speech to text, a writing program etc)

Scrivener, my love. I also love watching author interviews like Chloe Gong and Stephanie Garber and just seeing what their drafting and publishing journey has been like, and it inspires me to write! Pinterest is also great for aesthetics, and Spotify is the best for playlists <3

8) A piece of worldbuilding that you like in your own story? (It could be the magic system, a particular place in the story, a law etc)

I love the Enchanted Kingdom (soon to be named...) I've built so far. It's filled with curses that have been unresolved in the first lives that these gods have lived, and now have reappeared to kinda ruin the Kingdom. My world is very fairytale slash studio ghibli esque, so I'm having so fun with the tidbits now!

9) What piece of advice would you say to encourage others to write if they are having a rough patch?

Oh, God. DO I KNOW THIS PERSONALLY. I swear my rough patch hasn't ended... writing after nearly not writing for a good two years really does something to you.

Writing is all about mindset. It doesn't matter how much of an oddball idea you have. If you don't believe in it, it'll never get finished. Every time I doubted myself, my anxiety got so bad I shut down immediately. And I was so worried about what other people would think when reading my books, that I stopped myself from writing the books I want to write in the first place. Whether you have people around you discouraging to write, or can't believe in yourself, at the end of the day, it's just you and your book. And what's the point of writing if you're just following a trend? Or slugging yourself to finish a book you can't even connect with? Each book is a piece of yourself, and I think the greatest realization I had is to write the story you want to read. And it doesn't matter if it's about some girl who makes a deal with a god to save her sister, or about some alien on a spaceship, or about carnivals! Writing is so amazing because you can connect with readers who enjoy the same things you do, but it all starts with believing in yourself first.

When you get stuck, don't panic. If you haven't read an article about how Boredom Leads to Creativity, maybe take a quick break about writing that first! Writing isn't about who finishes the book first, but it's about quality and a game of luck. Maybe you need a break away from writing. Maybe you need to reconnect with your characters. Maybe you're just tired of toiling over and over again on this plot line.

There is no set method to returning to your project. But what has helped me is learning why I want to write. It doesn't matter how much I return to my world, or try to force my characters into more trauma if there's no reason why I'm writing this. Like, is it to enjoy it? Is it to have people experience these feelings I've felt months ago, and hold importance to me? Even the simplest reasons are the deepest ones. <3

And finally (sorry this advice is literally a hundred pages long, can you tell I'm procrastinating right now?), writing is meant to be serious, but it's also meant to be fun. The draft is simply just that: a draft. You can get ideas from random lines you wrote, or even take out characters to write a different book about! Don't ruin the one thing you've learned to love. Personally, writing in fun / ugly fonts: Arial, Comic Sans, etc., has really helped me focus on what I want to say instead of whether this book will ever get queried or not. Set a routine. Write everyday, or don't if you're more of a mood writer. The instant you feel the itch to write, JUST FUCKING DO IT, OKAY. THIS IS A SIGN. It doesn't matter if it's a scene in the third act and you're only on chapter 1. It's a sign that the story wants you, and only you to write it.

FINALLY FINALLY, I swear this is my last piece of advice, and the shortest: Believe in yourself, even when no one else does. Writing is hard, but rewarding. I believe in you. <3

wowooww that was long, tagging @orphicpoieses @macabremoons @halfbit @leisoree @sleepysuiteheart @the-chaotic-writer @heymacareyna @hallwriteblr @sculpture-in-a-period-drama @pixelw0rds @thetruearchmagos + other mutuals and anyone who wants to participate! i would love to hear your responses, PLEASE.

[noildoof]

Hello Ive seen that ur into a lot of like "obscure" media and was wondering what anime, cartoons and comics u were into or what u'd recommend , Im very curious , love your art!!!!!

There's a lot, tbh I'm not even sure where to start, but let's see...

Angel's Egg isn't really that obscure anymore, but at the time I first watched it and got obsessed, it was. I still consider it to be a masterpiece and my favorite movie of all time, tied with Alien.

If you're over 18, I highly recommend Malice@Doll. It's a surreal, disturbing 3D anime that moves a lot like stop-motion. It has a lot of parallels to the Biblical story of the garden of Eden, with humans in the role of an absent God and machines doing the same things they've always done because... well, that's what they were made to do. They don't have free will. There's a lot of really interesting stuff to think about - the tradeoff of innocence for knowledge, trading an immortal mechanical body that can't feel for a flesh one that can feel pleasure but also pain. Again though, this anime gets pretty disturbing, and although it's not meant to be arousing it does have sexual content. It's not appropriate for minors.

My favorite bad anime is The Humanoid. It's very campy and one of the most 80's anime I've ever seen. The characters (mostly Alan) talk a lot about coffee, for some reason. Enough that you can make a drinking game out of it. The soundtrack is actually really good, I have it on vinyl.

Go watch Chargeman Ken right now. I mean it. Each episode is only 5 minutes long, so you have no excuse not to. You'll understand why I'm recommending this anime once you've watched it, it simply has to be seen to be believed. My favorite episodes are Dynamite in the Brain and When the Cuckoo Clock Strikes 3.

A lot of people seem to hate Bounty Dog, but I will unironically defend this anime to the death. I think it's good, or at least perfectly serviceable for a 90's direct-to-video anime. It has a weird piss-yellow color palette though, and it's not a filter - those are the actual colors used in the paint, I would know having cels from this.

This is very particular to my tastes (people who know me will understand why), but I binged Brigadoon not long ago and loved it. It's a very strange series in a way that's kind of hard to describe. Fundamentally, it's about a relationship between a girl and a mecha that develops into a romance, so I guess it's shoujo. But it's also an action series. And a comedy series. And a drama series. And a horror series at times. It defies genre categorization in a way I don't see very often. The closest thing I can compare it to is The Ancient Magus's Bride, as the relationship between Marin and Melan is pretty similar. With Dr. Seuss and Evangelion thrown into a blender.

Cool World is... not a good movie. At all. But damn, are those backgrounds nice. It has a particular "look" to it that is awesome as fuck, I just wish the actual story wasn't so stupid. I implore the people who say dumb shit like "Hazbin Hotel is just "SEX! LAUGH NOW!"" to watch Cool World, because that is literally what Cool World is. It's pretty to look at, but the entire plot and all the jokes are just "Don't have sex with cartoon characters---- OHHHH he just had sex with the cartoon character." But if you can get past the painfully unfunny "comedy" and stupid nonsensical plot, it's very nice to look at and has a great soundtrack.

... that got really long-winded, damn. Here's some other recommendations:

Anime:

Weathering Continent (also an untranslated light novel series) Laughing Target (also a manga) Mermaid Forest (also a manga) Mermaid's Scar (also a manga) Curse of Kazuo Umezu (also a manga, untranslated) California Crisis Twinkle Nora Rock Me (so bad it's amazing, also an untranslated manga) Nayuta (also a manga, untranslated) King of Thorn (also a manga) Umi no Yami, Tsuki no Kage (also a manga, but not fully translated) Dragon's Heaven (also a manga, untranslated) Lily-C.A.T. Magnetic Rose (not really that obscure but it's a masterpiece) They Were 11 (also a manga, dunno if it was translated) E.Y.E.S. of Mars Iblard Time Venus Wars (also a manga)

Manga:

Eko Eko Azarak (haven't seen much of it but I like what I've seen) Any of Rumiko Takahashi's short stories Black Jack (definitely not obscure if you're an oldtaku like me) Anything by Kazuo Umezu, especially Drifting Classroom

Movies:

The Banshee Chapter Space Mutiny (watch the Mystery Science Theater version) Yellow Brick Road

Misc:

Mary (Scissor Sisters music video) Daicon IV (anime Electric Light Orchestra music video) Apollo 20 hoax videos Cybersix (Argentine animated series) Skydoll (Italian comic, adult-only) Yoko Tsuno (Belgian comic)

[sh00kspeared]

ooohh tell me more about Orien!! I just started BG3 recently also so welcome to the club lol

Ahhh thank you so much for being interested in him, and glad to see another new BG3 fan!! ♥️♥️

He’s not fully fleshed out yet, but rn I’ve got a few things— he’s a tiefling named Orienes who changed his name to Orien after setting sail with a band of pirates when he got into a financial bind in his late teens.

Funny story, I was recently in a play production of treasure island, where I played both Billy Bones and then later a generic pirate after Billy’s death scene. To help develop my character, I decided my pirate would be named Orien and was the son of Billy Bones who defected from his family and joined Long John’s crew. Since closing night was recently and I was sad to have to give up my character, I decided to immortalize him and turn him into my BG3 character, so a lot of his backstory is inspired by treasure island.

That being said, he spent his time burgling on the high seas. He lost all sight in his left eye after being given a magical artefact by a man he’d made enemies with years ago, which cursed him with blindness. (Inspired somewhat by the black spot from treasure island). He was able to destroy the item before his right eye was affected but began wearing an eye patch after his left eye grew pitch black and started spreading a magical ‘infection’ to the rest of his face and to the side of his neck. Luckily it didn’t continue growing and hasn’t seemed to have done much besides destroying his vision and causing the occasional dull throb in his head. Here’s a picture of the curse:

He later lost partial sight in his right eye after being slashed during a swordfight and now has trouble with his peripheral vision as well as being somewhat nearsighted. This is why he tends to favor stealth, ranged attacks, and magic— especially magic— he calls upon magical forces which help him tune into his non-visual senses, which allow him to still fight well despite his disability.

Orien’s crew broke up after the whole lot were captured by a rival band of human pirates who wholeheartedly believed that tieflings were devil spawns. They tortured him for three days; broke both of his horns and cut off the tip of his tail— before they could continue their torture, though, he managed to break free and decided to give up piracy once and for all, unable to deal with the trauma any longer. (Blind eye and broken horn visible here; still trying to get mods figured out which is why his eye curse isn’t visible in the pic and why only one of his horns is broken).

Flash forward to the events of the game. His past has greatly influenced his current beliefs and behavior. While he does harbor some internal bitterness toward humans due to many humans’ hatred of his kind, he’s also vowed to himself to never wreak violence on someone solely for who they are (though he does have a tendency to be defensive of tieflings in particular). He has no problem with stealing and killing, but does have a soft spot for children and animals.

Now, this man is so touch starved that he starts crushing on Astarion simply because he secretly loved how intimate the experience of having his blood get drunk for the first time felt, but eventually he started to actually fall in love and became enthralled by Astarion’s charm and flamboyancy.

I’m not far enough along to know much more, but I’m really loving Orien so far and am super excited to start Astarion’s romance lmao.

(More pics. And again, mods are wonky which is why both of his horns are intact in the last pic).

[a-small-batch-of-dragons]

Frozen

*screeches in delight* Ok so I just finished the TSS masterlist (also please add me to the taglist) and at least in the past, you did literal interpretations of sayings. My question is, does this apply to fight/flight/freeze or brain freeze, and if so, do you have the spoons to write a fic? - diamond-blade

So I just saw this post (do links work in asks? It’s by orbmanson7), and now I want a Logan angst fic where the other sides literally silenced him. Or just any Logan angst, I’m not picky! - anon

Read on Ao3

Warnings: paralysis

Pairings: gen

Word Count: 2284

    Out of all of the ways he envisioned the argument ending, this wasn't one of them.

"Look, if we could all just get on the same page—"

"Same page? You're on a different chapter, Pocket Protector!" Roman throws his hands up. "Matter of fact, a different book! A different library!"

"There really is no need to be so dramatic."

"No—no need?" Roman splutters. "What do you think my job is?"

"It's not to be a constant nuisance!"

"I dunno," Virgil mutters, "could've fooled me."

"Oh, like you can talk!"

"Now, now, everyone—" Patton raises his hands in what is supposed to be a placating manner— "let's stop with all the name-calling and just settle down."

"Oh, I haven't even started name-calling."

"I think the point was to pre-empt any name-calling you may have done," Logan points out, pinching the bridge of his nose.

There really was no reason for this argument to spiral out of control so much. It was simply to decide whether Thomas would spend the day writing—as he had planned for the week and had already declined other weekend activities for, he had expressed multiple times that he wanted to write and in fact, missed it—or whether he would accept the invitation for coffee from someone he'd met a few days earlier.

Logan, of course, had maintained that they decline. They had plans, they had projects, ones that Roman himself had been advocating they work on.

Roman, however, being as fickle as he always is, had the prospect of romance figuratively waved under his nose and he'd been derailed faster than—well, a train derailing.

"Logan's got a point, Princey, you're the one who's been pushing for us to do the projects for like, a month." Virgil leans back against the stair rail. "You realize that this is likely the only time Logan's gonna be agreeing with you on…anything for the next year, right?"

"Logan, on average, how long does 'getting coffee' normally take?"

"Well, based on most estimates the actual act of procuring the coffee takes about five to ten minutes depending on the density of the other customers, extending to forty minutes if during peak rush hours—"

"You know what I meant."

"���but the act of 'getting coffee' in a romantic setting normally lasts at least an hour."

Roman gestures emphatically. "One hour! One hour! We can spare one hour from our busy day of writing to go and get coffee with someone."

"Interrupting your creative process has rarely shown such productivity. Additionally, it is unlikely that it will remain one hour when you account for travel time."

"Aren't you the one who's always advocating for healthy scheduling and taking breaks? I seem to recall a lengthy conversation with both you and Janus about pacing myself." Roman gestures at the door. "This is a way for me to take a break! For all of us to take a break!"

Virgil snorts. "Speak for yourself, Princey. Both you and I are gonna be on the clock."

"Plus—" Roman points at Patton— "the other day you and I were talking about how I need more inspiration! Because we decided that going on quests in the Imagination wasn't good enough, so I need new material! This is how I get new material!"

Patton falters and inwardly, Logan curses. If Roman can get Patton on his side…then the argument is as good as over.

"You also have a tendency to get distracted very easily by new things," he points out, "and it is likely that you will become so preoccupied with fantasies about this new potential suitor that you will lose all motivation or inspiration to work on these projects."

Virgil hums, pointing at him. "He's got a point."

"…he does, kiddo."

Roman makes an affronted noise, all but wilting. "Come on, this'll be good for Thomas!"

"Good for Thomas," Logan asks, "or good for you?"

"What's the difference?"

"Well," he continues, adjusting his glasses, "what's good for Thomas can also be working on these projects he's been letting sit and stagnate for almost a month now to help appease his Anxiety and maintain a consistent level of productivity."

He raises an eyebrow.

"And it allows more than one of us to take 'center stage,' if you will."

"I appreciate the theater reference, but come on, I'm asking you for an hour! Two, tops!"

"We've kinda already set this day aside for you, Roman," Patton says warily, "you—don't you think you're getting a little greedy?"

There are points, Logan has realized, where, in hindsight, he can label them as the moments where the nosedives begin. And while he will grant both Roman and himself the respect to admit they'd been somewhat antagonistic towards each other, Patton's remark had…well.

"Greedy?" Roman draws himself up. "Excuse me, what exactly am I being greedy about?"

"We have already decided this day shall be for writing. That means that you will be the one who is 'in charge,' so to speak, or at the very least your connection to Thomas will be prioritized." Logan gestures around at the others. "However, as Thomas's creative process revolves around us as well, as characters he has created and such, that means we shall also have a part to play, even if yours is disproportionate to ours."

"Okay—"

"However," Logan continues as Roman tries to interrupt him, "if you choose instead to go on this…coffee date—"

"I didn't say it was a date!" Roman holds up a proclamatory finger. "Let the record show I never said it was a date."

"That's kinda what you implied, though," Virgil muttered.

"—if you choose to go," Logan says, speaking over them, "then it will very much be a 'one-man show,' if you will, save for the occasional inputs you deign to allow the rest of us."

"Except me," Virgil adds, "you get no say in that matter."

"So, yes, Roman." Logan crosses his arms. "Trying to force an activity where you have more of a say could be considered greedy."

Roman splutters, looking back and forth as if expecting someone to deny it. When no one does, he puffs himself up and clears his throat. "I am trying to ensure Thomas gets adequate socialization and continues to meet new people! I-if anything, it's Logan who's being greedy for insisting we stick to his strict schedule!"

"Oh, god."

"Roman…"

Logan draws himself up too. "I have at least taken the time and care to make sure that everyone is content with the schedule, whereas you—"

"I"m not content with it! In case that is very much unclear—"

"—insist on blundering through things as you always do and expecting everyone else to cater to your needs—"

"—no, I am not happy with it. And you're the one who insists I have only 0.5% of any given day, were you just looking for an excuse to—"

"—without realizing that we have to work together. I understand that might be a difficult concept for you to grasp—"

"—shut me out? Oh, and here we go again, el principe es estupido, is that the only insult you have?"

"—but I assure you it is a worthwhile endeavor. Perhaps if you were capable of seeing beyond yourself—"

"I don't know how to put other people first? Why do you think I've let this project be pushed off so much, because none of you—"

"—then you might realize that the world does not, in fact, revolve around you and whatever you think is important—"

"—seem to think it's worth doing even though it's Thomas's source of income! You don't understand how hard it is to—"

"—and since you clearly cannot afford even the basic respect of listening to me and letting me speak uninterrupted, then clearly you are not capable of considering the fact that you are not—"

"Shut up!"

—worth having this argument with, is what Logan would say, or perhaps even don't tell me to shut up!

What he ends up saying is nothing.

Nothing at all.

Which is, of course, because he has been frozen.

His arms go rigid at his sides. His lungs refuse to inflate. His eyes begin to water from their inability to blink. His mouth dries up and he stands there, hangs there, freezes there as something horribly cold and deadly seeps into him.

I can't move. I can't move. I can't move.

An interesting thing about pain; pain requires functioning nerves. If you can't feel anything, then you can't feel pain. But if you can't feel pain, then you can't tell when something is wrong. And if you can't tell when something is wrong, you can't tell when it's getting worse.

Mouth open, one hand slightly raised, his weight imperfectly balanced on one leg because he'd been in the middle of shifting, Logan freezes in place. He looks at his hand and for a moment, he doesn't quite recognize that it's his hand because he can't feel it. He can't move it. He can only stare at this thing a few inches in front of him that looks like a hand that used to belong to him.

Then he remembers he can't scream.

"What the fuck did you do?"

"Logan? Logan, are you okay?"

"What the fuck did you do, Roman?"

"I don't know! I didn't—I don't know, I've never done this before!"

"Well, fucking undo it then!"

"I don't know how! I don't—don't shut up! Talk, Logan, say something! Move!"

"It's not working!"

"I can see that it's not working!"

"L, L, you gotta move, you gotta—come on, bud, you gotta."

"Un-shut up! Anti-shut up! Move again! Undo whatever I just did! I take it back!"

"That's not working either!"

"Fuck—I'm sorry, Logan! I didn't mean it, I just got angry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!"

"Roman, I swear to god, if you can't fix this—"

"Unfreeze!"

Logan gasps, sensation flooding back into his body so quickly it's almost painful. He collapses into a heap as blood rushes through him, pounding so heavily in his ears that it's almost deafening. His hands—his hands, he can move them now—scream with pain as he clenches and unclenches them, his muscles trying slowly to reacclimate to moving, to feeling, to being unfrozen.

"Easy, bud," comes Virgil's low voice, "in for five, okay? One…two…three…four…five. Good, good job. Hold now…"

He lets Virgil walk him through a breathing exercise until he can breathe normally. He looks up and nods when Virgil gives him a quiet you okay?

"Logan, kiddo? You okay, sweetheart?"

"Yes…yes, I think so."

"Go slow, okay," Virgil warns as he starts to stand up again, "you just gotta go slow."

Standing is…challenging, but he manages. The whole ordeal had lasted barely a minute and now that he's able to move again, the panic fades and he can start to function once more. He takes a few more deep breaths to steady himself before he looks around.

Patton is hovering, concern written plainly all over his face. Virgil is next to him, there if he needs to grab onto his shoulder or sink out. Roman is—

Roman is standing on the other side of the room, his hands held over his mouth in horror. There are tears on his face.

"I'm sorry, Logan," he whispers, "I'm so sorry, I didn't mean it, I didn't even know I could do that, I—are you okay?"

"Yes," and surprisingly, he is, "I'm alright now. I would…appreciate if that didn't happen again."

"No, no, of course, I won't—I won't do it again. I promise."

"Thank you."

Roman nods, his hands finally moving away from his face. He swallows and draws himself up, although this time it's far more similar to a child trying to save face than an arrogant prince. "I, um…we can…I'll be ready to write on Saturday."

"That would be great, thank you."

"Do you…need or want anything else right now?"

He pauses, considering, before slowly reaching out for him. Roman balks, confusion and fear warring on his features before he slowly crosses the room to let Logan grab onto him.

"You're the warmest," Logan mumbles, lurching forward to hug him—only it ends up being more like leaning his entire weight on Roman while Roman holds him up— "I'm still cold."

"Oh, of—of course." Roman wraps his arms carefully around him and Logan hums. "Would—do you want to sit on the couch?"

"Mm."

"…was that a 'yes?'"

"Yes."

Roman helps him carefully over to the couch as Virgil and Patton pull out the coffee table to make room for everyone's limbs. Logan turns his face against Roman's shoulder and closes his eyes.

"I'm going to sleep here now."

"Okay." Roman adjusts his grip so he won't get a strain in his neck. "I really am sorry, Logan."

"I know." He blinks up at him. "We can't do Saturday, but maybe…we may be able to do Sunday?"

Roman smiles. "We can talk about it later. You should sleep now."

And so he does.

General Taglist: @frxgprince@potereregina@gattonero17@iamhereforthegayshit@thefingergunsgirl@awkwardandanxiousfander@creative-lampd-liberties@djpurple3@winterswrandomness@sanders-sides-uncorrect-quotes@iminyourfandom@bullet-tothefeels@full-of-roman-angst-trash  @ask-elsalvador @ramdomthingsfrommymind@demoniccheese83@pattonsandershugs @el-does-photography @princeanxious@firefinch-ember@fandomssaremysoul@im-an-anxious-wreck@crazy-multifandomfangirl @punk-academian-witch@enby-ralsei@unicornssunflowersandstuff@wildhorsewolf @thetruthaboutthesun @stubbornness-and-spite @princedarkandstormv  @your-local-fookin-deadmeme @angels-and-dreams@averykedavra @a-ghostlight-for-roman @treasurechestininterweb @cricketanne @queerly-fluid-fan @compactdiscdraws@cecil-but-gayer@i-am-overly-complicated@annytheseal@alias290@tranquil-space-ninja @arxticandy @mychemically-imbalanced-romance@whyiask@crows-ace @emilythezeldafan@frida0043 @ieatspinalcords @snowyfires@cyanide-violence@oonagh2@xxpanic-at-the-everywherexx@rabbitsartcorner @percy-07734@triflingassailantofmyemotions @virgil-sanders-the-gay-emo@cerulean-watermelon@puffed-up-bees@meltheromanstan@joyrose-fandomer@insanitori@mavenmush@justablah65@10paradox10@uhhh-hi-there-i-am-nervous@cutebisexualmess@bella-bugatti-frogetti-baguetti@ultrageekygirl

[mdhwrites]

Having discussed at length about angst and how it can easily negatively impact a story (i.e. The Owl House), why do you think angst has so much of an appeal among people? Because I personally haven't seen much of an argument from others besides "it makes the character(s) more relatable" or "it's more realistic that way."

And neither arguments are inherently wrong, I'd say. But it's naïve to assume angst can by default improve a story's quality, especially if it results in tonal dissonance or making a work too miserable to sit/read through. So again, why the widespread appeal?

Realism and relatability is a bullshit excuse for a lot of angst. A loooooot of angst is actually just too over the top to be seen as realistic, or dealt with so poorly that it isn't relatable at all. The people making these claims are just saying "Angst" instead of "Dark and edgy" for what they think 'mature' storytelling i.

Now, why is angst popular? Because drama as a genre exists? I will get into it more but I really do think terminally online people, who mostly consume Youtube and fanfic, just forgot that there already was a term for stuff going wrong in people's lives and causing emotionally intense stories and asking how people deal with that and we call that Drama. Drama is also seen as a more mature genre, hence why the Oscars like it so much, but also a lot of dramas suck ass for the same reason angst sucks ass.

Which brings me to the appeal and danger of Drama: Conflict, and especially interpersonal conflict. That is what angst and drama is usually there for. A twist in things that causes resolutions to be harder to happen because there are deeper, personal problems that need to be addressed in order to make headway on the overall problem. It's not like an adventure story where the conflict is a more potentially far off or less personal thing, a grand goal that doesn't really make the heroes themselves fight until some angst and drama is added to make the heroes butt heads with each other.

When done well, these elements allow for deeper characters, a better understanding of them and a wider exploration of dynamics and problems between people than would be normally possible in genres that are less focused on the characters. Romance shares a lot of similar strengths in this regard but that's also why a lot of romances include a good bit of drama. The term hot/cold romance exists because of the drama of figuring out if you even want to potentially be with someone after all and what it takes to finalize that choice. These do allow for genuinely very human expressions of who one is.

To use a work of mine as an example (Spoilers for The Blight's Ruff Secret/Their Ruff Secrets):

In the middle of the book, not quite the moment of adhesion, Amity loses it at Luz about how her curse isn't something that's fun. How everytime she steps out the door to go to things like church, she has to constantly fear being found out for the beast that she is since she is a werewolf. She accuses Luz of not being able to understand having to deny who you are at all times because if someone caught you even once, your life would be over.

Luz, who has a big crush on Amity while being at church because her mother is catholic, who just got bullied simply for being gender non-conforming, forces herself not to say anything. She instead just apologizes, despite knowing the pain too well. Despite wanting to share her sexuality but believing she knows what the consequences are if she ever does.

That is drama. That is personal problems causing friction and causing people to hurt each other because they are people and they are in pain. It is exploring that which separates and stresses us out. And that's within what is mostly a romantic comedy because if there was none of that friction, the romance wouldn't be as compelling. It's part of why opposites attract is so popular because the drama of the situation writes itself.

And part of why the angst explored in TOH about Lumity is such a fucking waste. -_-

But I had a point including all of this drama. I had things to say with it. There are payoffs to that pain. When you include things that will be painful to the audience simply to hurt them, that can easily become exhausting and miserable. I honestly don't seek out dramatic works very often, not ones that are primarily dramas at least, because I've been burned enough times and honestly, I don't need to be reminded of how life sucks just because it sucks. That's miserable and the last thing I want from my media. I want to see these things explored and reminded that we CAN work past them. That we can do better.

And I think that aspirational element is part of why people will always want to see their character suffer because the deeper the Belly of the Whale in a story, the more you celebrate when they escape. With how much redemption and the ability to be better than who you were is a running theme in my works, I know it's what I personally want and I like to believe it's part of what people like in my stories because it's something we all want to believe in. Something we angst about and would like to be assured isn't impossible.

See you next tale.

======+++++======

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[je-suis-problematique]

You CANNOT tell me that the conversation Sengo had with Kar'niss about wanting to pursue a relationship with Halsin went well. NOTHING you'll tell me will convince me that it went smoothly, NOTHING. Because like we've already established before, Kar'niss has mashed potatoes for brains and his emotional regulation skills are worse than a toddler's. I wouldn't call him possessive but he grew to accept Sengo as the one, single reliable constant in his otherwise extremely chaotic life. If EVERYTHING ELSE went wrong Kar'niss could ALWAYS rely on Sengo to be there for him, with him, through EVERY step of the way, good and bad, thick and thin. Sengo is like a beacon of clarity and reassurance in a turbulent sea of confusion and blackness for Kar'niss. So Kar'niss suddenly learning – and UNDERSTANDING – that there is another man Sengo likes who might take Sengo away from him? Even if Sengo reassures Kar'niss that it's only an infatuation that he wants to carefully explore and that he'd never ever think of leaving Kar'niss behind for anyone, there IS a chance, no matter how slim, that Sengo WILL be whisked away from him by this other man Sengo now likes in the same way he likes Kar'niss. And Kar'niss CAN'T have that. He goes BATSHIT.

Because for Kar'niss, losing Sengo would mean more than just losing his best and only friend, his partner, his mate, or even his prey if Kar'niss is in A Mood. For Kar'niss, losing Sengo would mean losing that beacon of clarity and reassurance Kar'niss sees in him and being left alone in the dark. It would mean suddenly being in a freefall into everything Kar'niss can no longer understand or make sense of after he lost his mind. It would mean remaining alone in a hostile world where the only thing he knows how to do WELL is kill. And that's scary. Terrifying, actually, and the first time Kar'niss hears about Halsin he PANICS, and his panic turns into unbridled rage. He's not mad at Sengo, most of his rage is directed at Halsin for daring to threaten his sense of security by making Sengo want to leave him, but then his unstable little brain starts working overtime and suddenly he feels.... like he might be inadequate? That Sengo might want to leave him because he's simply not good enough for him? Is it the fact they can't properly mate like a real couple? Is it the fact that Kar'niss is inattentive and forgetful on the best of days and that it takes a lot of effort just to relay a simple sentence to him? Is Sengo tired of how damaged he is? Does Sengo want someone who isn't completely and utterly broken? And that's when the tears come, and Kar'niss promises he'll do better, he'll BE better, he's sorry he's like this, he'll learn how to be normal just please, please don't leave me. He begs and pleads and it absolutely TEARS Sengo's heart APART and now his main objective is to calm Kar'niss the fuck down before this already dreadful conversation can progress anywhere else.

Once Kar'niss is relatively calm again Sengo decides to put this particular topic on the back burner and let Kar'niss recover. In the meantime he goes and relays EVERYTHING that went down to Halsin and the two of them are kinda at a loss because they don't want to proceed behind Kar'niss' back but also there is virtually no way for them to help Kar'niss think about this shit rationally. So, they go to Mikhail, who literally specializes in treating insane people as the Faerûn version of a licensed psychotherapist (who is also permitted to medicate).

Mikhail is a bit busy with the whole uh illithid-parasite-shadow-curse-Ketheric-Thorm-Moonrise situation but he makes time to handle this bullshit, mostly because he was lowkey treating Kar'niss anyway and helping deprogram the Absolute from his brain (also I know the Halsin romance happens LATER in the game but in Sengo's canon it happened earlier because it just happened earlier, I don't make the rules). Mikhail has several LONG talks with both Halsin and Sengo about the subject where they discuss all the sticky feelings involved but also Kar'niss' condition, and what would be the best way to approach Kar'niss about this issue to make sure he feels like he has the right AND ability to refuse if he feels uncomfortable WITHOUT flying off the handle and getting angry. Mikhail also noted that they should try telling Kar'niss that Halsin is an ADDITION to Sengo's love life and not a replacement for Kar'niss. That Halsin and Kar'niss CAN learn to co-exist and work together. That Halsin isn't a THREAT, not to Kar'niss' relationship with Sengo and not to Kar'niss' sense of security in the world. And now, armed with all of Mikhail's therapy talk, Sengo and Halsin go on to try talking to Kar'niss AGAIN.

NGL, Kar'niss nearly beheads Halsin when he sees him but Sengo manages to calm him down enough to at least let Halsin talk and explain himself. The second talk goes.... better than the first one. They say everything that Mikhail told them to say and they speak slowly and carefully using simple wording. Sengo had to admit it was the first time in a while he saw Kar'niss so FOCUSED and ALERT, but it worked in their favor because Kar'niss understood what they ACTUALLY meant this time. It takes Kar'niss a few moments to spit out a proper reply but he basically says that he would like to think about it. That's already so much more progress than him breaking down completely at the mere mention of Halsin.

[princesscolumbia]

would you ever write transmasc sunset :o?

Probably not as a main character, no. This is entirely down to having some rather traumatic stuff happening in my personal history that causes my first reactions to considering the process of transitioning to a masculine presentation falling solidly into the, "...no-no-no-no-no-don'twannabeaguyagain-no-no-no..." It's entirely possible I may, at some point, do transmasc Sunset as a side character (say, a romance fic where SciTwi, cute lil' categorizing nerd that she is, is a lesbian and her experience of transmascs is any attraction she has to them stops when they start transitioning, but her poor lil' sapphic heart can't stop falling harder and harder for a progressively more masculine Sunset and has to sort her own feelings and anxieties), but as a MC, probably not.

That said, I think it's be phenomenally easy to write for an author who doesn't have my particular hang-ups, even as a continuation fic (in other words, canon doesn't need to be modified, story can pick up after the end of the most recent canon works and continue from there). It would go something as follows:

Sunset's delve into the Restricted Section is done with a specific purpose; gender changing spells. She knows this is forbidden magic (more on this in a minute) and so keeps her reasons close to the proverbial vest. This is also the reason she's such a nasty piece of work by the time of the Fall Formal, she's dealing with catastrophic dysphoria over the course of two lifetimes, her post-pubescent life where she's a grown adult mare in Equestria followed by female puberty hitting her like a ton of bricks after she enters the human world. Being the antisocial little depressed bundle of neurosis and undiagnosed gender trauma, she doesn't reach out to anyone regarding her gender...stuff.

Until Human RariJack become an official 'thing' and they join a support group for LGBTQIA+ youth and do as the Elements of Harmony do; make friends. One of those friends happens to be transmasc and it takes a bit for it to come out (you don't out your friends, after all) but as soon as she's exposed to the idea of transmasculinity, Sunset deep dives to get more information.

Now knowing what HE does, he visits Equestria and talks to Celestia about those forbidden spells. Turns out that, since Equestria is abysmally behind the times compared to the human world in a LOT of ways (see this post on FiMFiction.net for a brief on why I say that, not the subject of this particular post so I'll leave that for another ask, should one come in), the idea of 'transgender' as a concept is simply not understood by most ponies, even in the upper echelons of the health and magical specialist communities. The gender changing spells were forbidden because of gender dysphoria. For the 80-90% of the population that is not in any way, shape, or form trans or NB, being suddenly in a body of the incorrect gender would be traumatizing and so the spells necessary to do so are considered curses nearly as bad as mental manipulation magic.

From here the story could potentially go two ways, depending on the scope and premise of the fic: Either the fic becomes about the changes to Equestria and the human world as documentation and study of all things gender and sexuality are explored by mages and scientists in both worlds or the fic becomes about Sunset finally finding true closure with Celestia about the whole thing (you know me, Best Celestia is Momlestia and would be happy to accept her son for who he is) and his personal journey of becoming is true self. (and with magic involved, it could potentially have some real clop potential, too)