#because whoever you THINK i am is wrong and it actually makes me sick to my stomach

[elytrafemme]

what do i have to do for it to matter. people get medication and people get treatments and people get sympathy and people get explanations and people get diagnoses and people get to check all the boxes. it feels like my brain is physically forcing itself not to be too close to an explanation because at the last moment all symptoms will suddenly go away (i’m going to fucking kill Dahlia actually, because I think she’s the reason this keeps happening to me and even if she isn’t I’m just going to keep going until i find the bastard who is responsible). i go to therapy for five fucking years and nothing ever changes. it took whoever i was before this to fucking die before i could be split into this system and that was the most change we ever went through positively was someone fucking disappearing. 

oh mare you could have bipolar ... if your hypomanic periods were more rhythmic :/ or if the manias were worse lol :/ you could have psychosis but its not that bad :/ schizophrenia but you’re too “functional” you talk too “articulately” you’re never getting “anywhere” :/ you could have BPD but your life would be sooooo much more miserable mare and aren’t you happy :/ you could have CPTSD but you can’t even remember what happened to you can you? :/ 

I don’t understand what I’m doing wrong. I’ve done EVERYTHING right I have been so much BETTER about recovery than anybody I have met in my entire fucking life and I get nothing for it. I go to every therapy session I do all the positive self talk I try not to be toxic to people I try EVERYTHING more than ANYBODY. and all I get? Nothing. I never get ANYTHING. 

[whyse7vn]

BREAK -

[ot7 x reader]

PEACE AND LOVE 😁💗

8 participants - 8 online

���——————————

jk: guys i’m lost ☹️

jimin: like emotionally??

tae: or sexually?

jk: woah um

idk anymore

jin: probably psychologically

yoongi: what’s new?

namjoon: jungkook you are in your kitchen

y/n: can confirm he is in the kitchen.

yoongi: loser

jin: what’s with the punctuation lmao

jk: woah i am in our kitchen

how did i get here

good morning guys ^0^

jin: it’s 7pm?

y/n: he’s hungover.

jk: yeah T-T

jimin: not surprised drank jin’s body weight in alcohol yesterday

jk: there was a lot going on :((

yoongi: so you result to alcoholism?

namjoon: it’s better than resulting to violence!!!

y/n: hoseok can’t relate.

hobi: i said i’m sorry 😓

jin: jimin i’ve thought about it and i really think you’re projecting when it comes to this weight thing

jimin: project a vegetable

jin: project a cure for the body issues you CEARLY have

namjoon: guys

jk: ants playing ddr in my head rn

i’m so upset

also how do i take about a loan?

i want a loan

namjoon: jungkook you do not need a loan

jk: ok

i’m sorry

namjoon: jungkook you better not be crying right now

jk: i’m not crying

y/n: he is crying

but that is not important rn.

can we talk about yesterday because what the fuck?

tae: YESSS i’ve been waiting for this

whoever wants the video of hobi punching the shit out of jaehyun you have to me pay at least 4k

namjoon: what is wrong with you

tae: if you want it with sound i have to charge extra

tae changed the gc name to “HOBI GOT HANDS”

y/n: not funny.

namjoon: taehyung please

jin: can’t believe hobi fr punched him

yoongi: i can

hobi: y/n you still mad??

jin: she’s using punctuation

she’s furious ☠️

jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼

who tf says that

jin: OHMYGOD GET OF MY DICK FOR ONE SECOND I’M BEGGING

jimin: sHe’S fUrIoUs 🤓☝🏼

tae: is she fast too lmao

y/n: shut the fuck up taehyung

tae: okay!

y/n: my boyfriend is fine btw

if any of you actually care

yoongi: don’t

hobi: i’m sorry

y/n: you laughed after you made him bleed

yoongi: didn’t you laugh too lol??

y/n: OKAY I DID A LITTLE

but that’s before i realised hoseok hit him for real

jin: you can hit someone for fake?

tae: you can watch her smile fall after the second punch in the video it’s really funny actually!!!!!!!

y/n: didnt i tell you to shut the fuck up?

tae: you did

i’m sorry

shutting up

like rn ong 🙏🏼

🤐

jin: ?

jimin: it means on god

jin: stop talking to me

jimin: sorry just making sure you got it

slang sure has changed since 1781!!!

jin: 1781????????

jk: omg that’s that one hamilton song

hobi: there is no hamilton song called 1781

jimin: are we talking about the 1975

tae: the what

hobi: aren’t they white?

tae: they????

jimin: HAMILTONS WHITE????

yoongi: the real one is

jimin: there’s a fake hamilton??

tae: hamilton a they/them?

namjoon: you can’t say that

y/n: why are we talking about hamilton?

tae: why can’t i say that?

am i pissing off the feminists? ☠️☠️☠️

namjoon: this has nothing to do with feminism

jin: i’m a feminist

tae: did my they/them hamilton question offend you??

jin: tf does that even mean

jimin: born in 1066 doesn’t even know what pronouns are

jin: fuck you and ur proverbs

y/n: he literally said pronouns

tae: i’m a prosexhaver

yoongi: you have stds

hobi: personally i would like to shoot taehyung

jk: sex haver????

jin: virgin

y/n: he makes me sick

jimin: oh i HATE him

namjoon: deep breaths

tae: ???

wtf

why did you all just turn on me like that?

guys are you jealous of my sex having abilities?

everyone be honest now

y/n: you clearly don’t know what shutting the fuck up includes

tae: ok i’m sorry

never speaking again starting in like

an hour

i promise

y/n: how about now

tae: 30 mins?

y/n: kys

tae: stop flirting omg 🤭

yoongi: idiot

jk: WAIT OMG?

HOBI FR PUNCHED JAEHYUN??/! ö

jin: you were literally there??

jk: I THOUGHT THAT WAS A DREAM

OHMYGOD

LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

HEHEHE

OMG HOBI THATS CRAZY

UR CRAZY

hobi: i’m not crazy

jimin: like crazy

y/n: you think it’s funny??

jk: NO

no

absolutely not wtf

????????

hoseok why would you do that?

that’s so messed up

shame on you really

shame on you

jimin: ur pathetic actually

namjoon: anyways hobi it was wrong of you to result to violence just because you were jealous

please apologise

y/n please accept his apology you know hobi wouldn’t never want to upset you on purpose he loves and cares for you deeply

kiss and make up guys

you don’t want to fuck up our group dynamic do you???

no?

didn’t think so!!

wow would you look at that we are all friends again

smooth like butter 🧈 💛

dynamite 🧨

borahae in this bangtan shit for life 💜💜

y/n: kys

jk: KISS???????????

jin: hobi was jealous?

hobi: NO?????????

yoongi: interesting

jimin: yeah that’s crazy

hobi: I WASN’T I SWEAR

namjoon: you weren’t???

oh

my fault

hobi: yeah your fault

maybe ur just projecting lol

jimin: yeah calling bullshit

if you didn’t punch him out of jealously

what did you punch him for???

tae: it’s cuz he was like feeling her up right in front of our faces right??

have he no respect?

jk: respect no he have?

tae: stop

jk: sorry

tae: actually nvm you were agreeing with me

agree some more

jk: i agree some more

tae: see?

jk: see??

tae: what a nasty pervert freak of a man

namjoon: look in a mirror

jimin: that’s crazy because i wasn’t talking you

tae: right joon shut the hell up

jk: zip it

jimin: you as in YOU taehyung and jungkook

i was talking to hobi not you guys

jk: oh

tae: we talk for hobi

hobi: no you don’t

tae: we ARE hobi

jk: i’m not hobi

or am i?????

ohmgod am i???

yoongi: ur all so annoying

y/n: ok hoseok wasn’t jealous are you stupid??

why would he be jealous?????

hobi: right!

i was drunk

jin: i swear you didn’t drink last night??

hobi: ur not helping?

jimin: i’m telling you it’s bullshit

tae: ok now let’s talk about how that was coolest thing hobi’s ever done in his life should of tagged me in fr fr

i would of gone crazy no joke 💯💯

we would of got him so bad hobi

#dreamteam 😍

namjoon: taehyung

tae: what?

i’m just saying

y/n: say one more thing

tae: i’m sorry

sorry

SORRY 😢

jimin: so the plot thickens!!

hobi: there is not plot

there is no jealousy

jin: ok why did you punch him then

hobi: i was drunk i said that already

jin: you DIDN’T drink

guys why is he lying to us

do you not trust us???

come on step into my office hoseok

open up to daddy jin

y/n: ew???

jin: ew?

y/n: that’s what i said

jin: but in spainnnnnn

y/n: stop

jin: 🫰🏻

yoongi: hobi do you want to fuck y/n?

hobi: what

yoongi: answer the question

y/n: yoongi wtf???

namjoon: yoongi please

jk: DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER DO NOT ANSWER

hobi: i’m not answering that wtf

jimin: i think we all know his answer anyways

yoongi: yeah

but i want him to say it

tae: waitttt kinky

say it hoseok 😋😋😋

namjoon: can we not rn…

jimin: tae you definitely need to add him to ur stupid little group chat

tae: ummmm

it’s not stupid it’s real actually

jk: real men only!!!

tae: hobi are you a real man?

hobi: what

tae: are you real??

hobi: yeah

jk: say it

hobi: say what?

tae: i’m real

hobi: i’m real?

tae: REAL UGLY

HAHAHA

jk: LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

hobi: u guys are so unfunny it hurts

tae: got you lolz

namjoon: taehyung stop talking

tae: forgive me? 🥺

hobi tried to come for what we stand for

hobi: i literally didn’t???

it was jimin

jin: hey wait what group chat??

let me in what the hell

yoongi: no

jin: ur in the gc too??

yoongi: am i?

jk: he is

tae me joon and yoongi 💓

namjoon: can you stfu.

jin: EVEN JOON??????

let me in or ur all going to hell

y/n: yeah me too wtf??

tae: jin

between me and you

your invite may arrive soon

i’ve seen your eyes wondering as of late

jin: ????

what

yeah ok nvm!

i think i’ll live not being in ur gc

and if this is about what i think it’s about

count me out

jk: aw man :/

tae: wow so many haters in this life

you’ll regret this

you’ll be begging on ur knees to join real soon

y/n: WHAT ABOUT ME HELLO????

jk: hiiiiiii ^_^

y/n: ykw nvm idc

yoongi: you do

y/n: not

yoongi: yeah ok :3

namjoon: there is no group chat

jk: ??? yes there is don’t be silly joon 😂😂

namjoon: OHMYGOD LEARN HOW TO TAKE A FUCKING HINT

can we move on

wtf why am i asking you guys

i’m the leader

we are moving on.

y/n: THIS IS SEGREGATION

jk: ohmygod is this a race thing???

namjoon not again

jimin: LMFAOOOSJDJJK

y/n: i mean i was talking about gender

but this could be a race thing

is this a race thing????

jk: OHMYGOD NAMJOON UR A SEXIST TOO????

i thought that was just jimin

jin: no ur right

jk: oh ok!

jimin: can you stop

i’m NOT a sexist ok

but hobi DID punch jaehyun

hobi: wtf is ur problem

jimin: sorry i needed to put everyone back on track xx

hobi: there is no track

jimin: no there is a track and i put everyone back on it

jk: train track

yoongi: lay on one?

tae: LAYOVER YES

i know that album

it’s really good

indigo flopped

namjoon: shut up shut up shut up shut up

tae: so like gf wyd rn? *kicks feet giggles*

yoongi kicked tae out of “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

yoongi: not sorry

jk: it’s ok i forgive you

yoongi: shut up

jk: ok

y/n: he told me we should go on a break…

jk: i had a break on my bike once

then it broke

so i had a breakless bike

and i couldn’t brake

so to stop i would just pedal into walls

my bike to this day has no breaks it makes me sad

namjoon: jungkook please just get a new bike

and y/n i’m sorry to hear about your break

jk: ok >.<

y/n: thanks ig

namjoon: wait

??????

break

ur on break

with jaehyun?

y/n: no i’m on a break with fucking usher

jin: A BREAK?????????????

jimin: WOAH WAIT HOLD ON

yoongi: is he fucking stupid???

jk: USHER???

hobi: no jungkook she’s talking about jaehyun

jk: oh

hobi: jaehyun

nct jaehyun your friend jaehyun.

jk: OHMYGOD WAIT WHAT WHATWHENDHDHDJDJD WHAT OHMYGOF OHMSYSH DKEJEJDJG SISHDJXMISSHENDODJDIDUSJEJFJDKDKFNDBDNDMDNDFNFNFNFMMF

jk added tae to “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

jk: LOOK

tae: hey guys u missed me 😁?

jk: LOOK

tae: looking

jk: LOOKSKKSKSKDKDKDDKK

tae: holy shit

y/n are you ok??

jimin: THIS IS INSANE

y/n: yeah fuck him and fuck his break

yoongi: i’ll break his neck

jin: jungkook get ur friend

jk: JSNDNDNNDJJDJDFJNDJDJDJDJD ahshshxhdnxndnxnd JAJSHDBSBDBXBXNXNXJXJXJZHHXHXBSHSHSHXHZJZJXJXJXJJXJXJJDD SHSNDNDNDNDNXNDJJDXJXJXJX DHXJDJDNDNDNXXNZN

tae: woah

hobi: but are you like actually ok???

y/n: never been better

namjoon: no fr it’s ok if you’re upset

y/n: i’m not upset

jimin: wow

so like

wow

idk how to comfort people namjoon say something

namjoon: there there?

jin: chin up!!!!!

jk: I AM ALSO SINGLE THIS IS SUCH A COINCIDENCE LIKE WE ARE BOTH SINGLE AT THE SAME TIME WOW LIKE YEAH UR ON A HREAK BUT UR BASICALLY SINGLE THATS REALLY CRAZY LIKE HAHA LOL WE ARE SINGLE LOOK AT US TWO SINGLE PEOPLE WHO HAPPEN TO LIVE TOGETHER MAYBE WE SHOULD IDK LIKE HEHEH JSJSJJSJDJ

yoongi: when are we jumping him??

i can leave now

y/n: shut up

yoongi: you coming over?

y/n: no?

yoongi: boo

y/n: i’m going to hobi’s

hobi: you are??

jimin: to fight or fuck??

y/n: shut up

jin: that’s crazy

hobi broke up a happy home

hobi: i’m genuinely so sorry

i didn’t mean to

y/n: wasn’t even ur fault don’t apologise

he was a acting weird for a while

wanted to live in denial but it’s whatever idc!!!!!!!

tae: you clearly do care and that’s ok

y/n: i DON’T

tae: y/n

y/n: taehyung

jimin: ew like why is taehyung being all serious i hate it

tae: cuz this is serious

y/n: it’s not

tae: it’s ok to be upset

y/n: i know and i’m NOT

tae: y/n

y/n: i’m not upset omg????

stop being weird i’m like so ok it’s crazy

jimin: like crazy lolz

jin: that is the second time you’ve made that joke and it was just as unfunny as it was the first time you said it

jimin: why are you keeping tabs on me and what i say get a LIFE

jin: you make me want to kms

jimin: do it

jin: namjoon get him before i get violent

namjoon: guys can you see we have bigger issues going on rn

be serious for once

y/n: i’m fine

there is no serious issue

i’m ok

no tears

no noting

i’m fine ok? ok

tae: y/n

y/n: tae stop

ykw ur pissing me off

ur all pissing me off

y/n left “HOBI GOT HANDS!!”

hobi: oh wow

jin: i didn’t even do anything fr

jimin: i blame tae

yoongi: jaehyun is a bitch

jk: do you think she’ll let me kiss her now?

namjoon: jungkook shut up

tae do NOT message her

and yoongi do not even THINK about leaving your house rn

i think we need to have a group meeting or something

—

sorry this sucks i just needed a reason to get rid of jaehyun so we could move forward LMAO i’m sorry better things coming soon 😁🙏🏽

tags: @piw6n @92jinnies @birdie-vhs @kooksmilitarywife @hob3loveofmylife @jujubiism @bloopkook @ratchetpizza1 @myntalks @arloo00 @watamotee33 @y2kcy3brz @taiwan0618 @freyadanvers @gguksbeloved @raetf @bbsantc @winuvs @medicinemybish @bxnnyhime @leleluvsbts @baetukki @zyaaaszn @thelilbutifulthings @jazminethecreator @k4ngelz @jmnscutie @sopebubbles-replies @cynicalyoongs @lightningpussy54 @eunthv @gigiiiiislife @lowkeykin

[xjulixred45x]

If you don't mind me can I request male reader who like Akaza from Demon slayer with the Hazbin Hotel.

Bonus: respect woman.

Hello! Normally i would Say no bc My Requests are Closed but you're lucky that i'm in a good mood to write and also i am a fan of this Man✨ 😭

Thanks for the Request ❤️

(to the other Readers, don't take this as something usual, the Requests are still Closed, i'm just in the mood to write THIS for now)

Akaza! Reader in Hazbin Hotel

Genre: headcanons

Reader: male

Warnings: Reader is a fighter, violence(?), hell, slight change in Akaza story so its not a Copy-paste and make "more sense",idk, I MAKE THIS IN A RUSH OF ✨INSPIRATION✨SO ITS NOT PROFFHEAD!!

You were born and raised in the Edo era, in Japan. and it was a nightmare.

You lived in poverty all your life, practically alone with your sick father who could barely take care of himself, but he always tried to take care of you above all else.

You spent a lot of your life trying to take care of him back, but it was difficult because of money, you couldn't afford it. so you did the only thing you could think of: steal medicine.

Obviously many times this didn't turn out well, and they ended up catching you and taking you to be beaten and tattooed like a criminal, but it was the kind of life you led until your father died.

That was when you hit rock bottom, but you met certain people who helped you move forward. a martial arts master and his sick daughter (who reminded you a lot of your father).

And it was the time when you lived better, you took care of your teacher's daughter and you learned from him, you had a good life.

you and his daughter even fell in love!

everything had fallen into place in your life...

until conflicts broke out again.

You don't remember much about your last days of life, it was a cycle of going, killing whoever got in your way, returning with whatever you wanted from your group, and whatever followed...

You just wanted to go home.

but you died before that.

and just as you expected, after everything you had done wrong in your life, you ended up in hell.

It wasn't exactly like the hell you had imagined growing up, but it was definitely difficult to adjust, knowing that you were dead, in this hole of misery, far from them...

but you didn't waste your time. You discovered quite quickly that several of your physical abilities had stayed with you, so you took advantage of them and became a quite formidable demon.

You wouldn't say you were an Overlord, but you were definitely an anomaly to Hell's QUO status, a demon who had become powerful without the need for owning souls.

something very strange.

so many Overlords, feeling threatened, tried to go after you, only to never be seen again...

As for the Hotel issue, I think that Akaza! reader would be skeptical, I don't think he would have a problem offering himself as a test subject for the hotel because 1- there is Alastor, someone very strong, and 2- he has a small hope that the hotel will work and maybe, just maybe he can redeem himself and go. to heaven with his love and his teacher, what he loves most. although he wouldn't say the last thing out loud.

Speaking of relationships, Alastor and him can actually get along in a very ambiguous way, Alastor is not happy with someone who is so strong without even having souls of their own, so he is cautious, but not in a threatening way.

Although there is something these two have in common, THEY RESPECT WOMEN.

Alastor can definitely introduce him to Akaza! read several of his female friends to be more "social" and get possible blackmail material.

Alastor secretly knows of the possible motives behind why Akaza! Reader would like the hotel to work, he thinks he is naive, but he doesn't make fun, Alastor partly understands why he feels that way. leaves him alone in that sense.

...but it bothers him in every other way! using it as an armrest, innocuous phrases, crushing it with things out of nowhere, etc. He always has something up his sleeve to piss him off.

but they can ally if women get involved ;)

Charlie is so so so so so happy to have Akaza! reader as another participant alongside Angel and Sir Pentious! She constantly thanks him for his collaboration and tells him how much it means to her.

Lots of encouragement during the trust exercises! she realizes that Akaza! Reader is not very talkative, and although she does not force him to change, she "subtly" encourages him to be more open with the exercises.

Although that does not mean that she admits the fights, she tries to encourage Akaza! reader to find another way to get out his anger and energy in less destructive ways.

I think she would be the only one who knows through Akaza! reader why he wants the hotel to work, and she is SO MOVED by him because Reader wants to redeem himself and that gives him a lot of motivation to do more exercises.

Even if is sometimes a double-edged sword because she feels pressured not only by wanting to help her friends, but also by Akaza's cute motive! reader.

Akaza! reader is very protective of Charlie even if she is the princess of hell, he is like a bodyguard! or a very loyal pitbull. Charlie finds it endearing (but please don't rip that demon's head off please---)

Vaggie is scared of Akaza at first! reader for his aggressive nature.

She is afraid that he will end up directing that destructive energy towards them if he is very angry, so she is very cautious at first.

but eventually she can relax more and more with him as she realizes that (at least with women) he's not going to explode on anyone who doesn't deserve it. and that in fact he is a good man.

sparring together! Vaggie feels kind of bad that he doesn't have a gun, but is surprised at how tough he is.

If she finds out his reason behind going to the hotel, she supports him a lot in his journey of redemption, more than before, she empathizes with him.

They both have similar motives.

Vaggie really appreciates when Akaza! reader defends the female staff against Angel's out-of-place comments. she may even allow him to hit him.

You two are the main people in charge of protecting the hotel.

Let's be honest, Angel dust at first was just "flirting"/sexually harassing Akaza! reader until he beat him up and never did it again.

He thought he was simply bitter about life until he remembered that on one occasion he told him that "he was taken" and he didn't take it so personally.

After the duet with Husk, he went directly to apologize to him and they were on bad terms.

Angel occasionally likes to prank him like everyone else in the hotel, but he's considerably less annoying with Akaza! reader because he knows what he is capable of.

When he eventually finds out why he is "taken" and why someone like him is in the hotel, he can't help but empathize with him a lot (from his sister in heaven), and tries to be his "Husk" at his lowest moment. .

Even if technically Akaza!reader is stronger than him in every way, he takes care of him in his own way, watching his drink, not being robbed, etc.

Angel is definitely not used to so much respect when it comes to his gender identity, which is why he respects Akaza a lot! reader.

They generally start off on the wrong foot but manage to be friends.

Husk likes Akaza! reader, simply because it gets on Alastor's nerves and because he knows that he won't kick the ass of someone who doesn't deserve it. He knows everyone is safe with him.

He definitely knows about his reason for being in the hotel and pities him, respects his privacy a lot after that and doesn't let him talk drunk.

Husk may get to have his "loser baby" moment with Akaza! reader but in a platonic way, helping him when it is especially difficult to stay away from violence.

They can even have a father-son relationship, Husk is very similar to Akaza's teacher! reader in many ways EMOTIONALLY SPEAKING so Akaza! reader feels comfortable with him.

she definitely tells him things about her past as Overlord to entertain him.

Sir Pentious at first was TERRIFIED of Akaza!reader, his reputation was as a tough guy who went after evil people and Pentious (having his poor self-image) thought he would kill him as soon as he saw him.

but fortunately it was not like that!

but he was definitely avoiding it for DAYS before he heard from the others that Akaza!reader wasn't that bad and was actually quite nice. to give him a chance.

and Pentious did just that. and he was VERY surprised.

Akaza! reader has had to dismantle several of Sir Pentious's evil machines using his enormous strength, and although Pentious was heartbroken to see his machines destroyed, he was also VERY surprised by Akaza!reader's capabilities, even giving me more things to do. break and test their strength (imagine this pair getting to know the Rage Rooms).

Pentious Minnions occasionally go to Akaza! reader when P. is not there, which is fun to see because Akaza!reader would try to get away from the Minions that come after him like ducks.

Akaza! reader clearly notices Pentious's crush on Cherri, and encourages him to do something now that he has time.

(Can you imagine Akaza! reader's Koyuki becoming friends with Pentious in heaven? It would be Epico).

Mononeuronal pair.

Niffty is strange.

but I can definitely see Akaza! reader protecting it constantly. so Niffty likes him. But I wouldn't really say they are friends.

In general, everyone has some kind of respect for Akaza! reader. They hope you can reach your goal.

Shares, reblogs and comments are very welcome!

Again, this DOES NOT MEAN that orders are open again! I'm just taking a break and deciding what things to write and what not to. thanks for the request ✨❤️

[jupiter-va]

Omg I also never thought of Abby with a gun play thing but now it has me thinking thoughts as well…I need to hear yours!!

Okay I've had a nap and I'm a bit more energized so here we go. These are SFW and NSFW btw (This got long I'm sorry, also, I'm better at dirty talking than I am at writing about sex lol)

✧˖° ‧Abby and her Guns ✧˖°

CW: talks of guns/consensual gunplay, mean!abby, degradation (kinda)

||MDNI

❥I completely agree with the ask I got earlier saying that Abby has sort of a fixation on them. Not in a weird way, she just kinda likes knowing how they work, how each part connects to the other, etc.

❥I'm not much of a gun girly, but I am southern and a lot of people I know have guns so based on my limited knowledge, I think her gun of choice is like a hybrid of a Glock and another pistol, can't recall the name (canonically, it's just called the "Military Pistol" in the game, correct me if I'm wrong but that's what it looks like). But I'm thinking she like's compact pistols for everyday use in general cus they're smaller than a full sized handgun, but they pack a punch and are easy to conceal which is useful for obvious reasons

❥I imagine she keeps them in the best condition she possibly can, of course she does, she needs them almost daily

❥It's one day when she's taking guns apart and cleaning them that you notice just how good she looks doing it. She looks good doing everything, but with this, the look of concentration on her face, combined with how swiftly she takes them apart and puts them back together without fumbling or breaking a sweat. The confidence and precision in her movements is enough to make you squirm and she notices

❥She's quick to break her concentration for the sole purpose of teasing you, asking you to come closer as she rattles off her knowledge about each separate gun to you.

❥She innocently "shows" you the best places to aim for when shooting someone. Slowly dragging an (unloaded) pistol from the waistband of your pants to your midsection, and applying a slight pressure to your stomach with the barrel of the gun

❥She'd notice you squirming/whining and honestly, I think she'd be a little mean about it

"You're sick, you know that baby? Making those pretty sounds for me, all because I've got a gun to your tummy?"

"You do realize how fucked up it is that you're into this, right?"

❥You're more than aware of how fucked up it is, but as she drags the gun from your midsection to your chest up to your neck, until she finally stops, resting the pistol up under your chin, you honestly can't bring yourself to care

❥Someone brought up the idea of Abby fucking you while holding a gun up to your stomach and honestly, whoever it was ate with that, I agree wholeheartedly, however, for the past 20 minutes I've been thinking about her having you get on all fours while having the gun to your back. You can't see it, but you can feel it and you hear the click each time she pulls the trigger and it just ups the sensation you feel by 100

❥Of course, the gun isn't loaded, but that doesn't stop Abby from taking you from behind and dragging the pistol down your back, stopping every so often to pull the trigger. It can't hurt you, but each click of the gun sends chills down your spine in the best way

❥Despite how fucked out and overstimulated you get, it's almost like Abby can't help but to fuck you harder, making sure she drags this out for as long as she can. She loves watching as each click of the gun jolts you back into reality and listening as your now incoherent murmurs grow louder and more desperate with each thrust.

Yeah, this is gonna have to be an audio lol, I have more things I wanna say but I'm much better at articulating them when I'm speaking as if I'm actually in the scenario rather than writing it down.

[casual-socks]

HI IVE BEEN MASSIVELY HYPERFIXATED ON TMA FOR ABOUT A YEAR AND IVE SEEN MAYBE ONE (1) SINGULAR PERSON TALK ABOUT THIS and i am not even kidding when i say its been a passionate topic of conversation for that entire year. people know me for this. it comes up and my entire friend group SIGHS AUDIBLY because they know the 20 minute tangent i Will be taking

WHATTTTT IS GOING ON WITH GERARD KEAYS NAME. what. what???? okay i

youre telling me jonathan sims went to oxford college (relatively prestigious if my memory serves me correctly) for RESEARCH. for, to put it simply, READING. and he looks at the name gerard and goes Yeah looks like jared to me lets go with that!!! HELLO?? NO?? not even mentioning the fact that he is being what could easily be called possesed when reading these statements which leaves us with two options

1. the ENTIRETY OF ENGLAND CANNOT PRONOUNCE THE NAME GERARD.

2. jonathan sims is so monumentally stupid that he is somehow breaking this possesion for the 2 seconds it takes to say the name gerard (i love him i swear i will sound so so hateful for this entire post but its out of love)

and like??? its not even that EVERYONE is calling him jared? elias and gertrude have both called him gerard and thats just off the top of my head. i also think jon said it correctly ONEEEE SINGULAR TIME. Just the once.

now i feel it necessary to mention jared hopworth here as well. because why, why on gods green earth, would you name a character gerard. pronounce it jared. TURN AROUND AND GO. lets make another jared but this ones made out of meat and is sort of implied to not be too fond of gay people. Yeah he steals peoples bones. Yeah.

SO LIKE GERARD KEAY IS THE OBJECTIVELY SUPERIOR JARED EXCEPT HES NOT JARED HIS NAME IS LITERALLY GERARD?? FUCK YOU SO MUCH

so okay. sure whatever this podcast is sooo british that a bunch of people are just completely failing to pronounce gerard. sure. whatever you say.

GERRY?????? HIS FUCKING NICKNAME IS GERRY???????????? NO!!!!

NO. no. LOOK ME IN MY EYES. LOOK AT THE NAME GERARD. GER-ARD. AND YOURE TELLING ME YOURE GONNA CALL HIM JARED. SND THEN YOURE GONNA CALL HIM GERRY WITH A G???? gerry with a g. that is utterly ridiculous i cannot even believe this that is monumentally frustrating i cannot even begin to describe to you all the anger i have experienced over this particular bit because why on earth would you take that particular extra step??? gerard -> gerry. sure. thin ice, but sure. jared -> jerry. sure! yeah! makes sense! GERARD -> JARED -> GERRY? you must be playing some sick joke jonny sims. seriously. you are a cruel and usual man

now this is when i start to wind down, but far from where i finish. lets take a moment to really pause and soak in his actual name here.

gerard.

that is so unfortunate already i mean really, gerard is such a…. a name…. i mean his mom skins people and puts them in books and the cruelest thing i think she ever couldve done is honest to god name her son gerard.

keay.

now dont get me wrong. theres nothing seriously wrong with spelling it keay on principle. but god, really? youre gonna shove all this gerard gerry jared business in front of me and tell me his last name is just key but gone the extra mile. really feels like the cherry on top of a shit cake.

now if you consider gerards character i truly feel as though thats the deepest disservice here. gerard keay is an incredible character whos short appearance is so memorable and charming, and despite his VERY little screen time he still has an intriguing and well fleshed out character. really, gerard keay is so excellent character wise. But, every time i think about him for any more than 5 minutes, almost this exact rant is being told to whoever is unfortunate enough to be near me at the time.

another thing i think also really adds to this is just the nature of gerard keay. everything you can say about that guy could be ended with “and everone calls him jared for some reason”. hes emo and everyone calls him jared for some reason. his hair dye job is so miserable that EVERYONE mentions it and everyone calls him jared for some reason. he has mommy issues and everyone calls him jared for some reason.

okay i need to wrap this up before i start just repeating WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY for thousands of words but heres a graph i made for my friends in october 2022 when i was going on about this in the middle of my spanish class 👍👍

[sardonic-the-writer]

𝐀𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫𝐠𝐢𝐞𝐬

↳ summary: in which crowley has a cold

↳ warnings: none!

↳ song: like real people do—hozier

masterlist!

Spring was a wonderful time of year all over the world. It was when the sun peaked its head out from behind fluffy clouds and let the flowers bloom, washing away any gloom winter might have left behind.

Walkways suddenly became full of pedestrians meandering about in city's and small towns alike. Large puffy parkas were shed in favor of light jackets and shorts.

Shops were suddenly bustling with all sorts of people out and about, taking advantage of the beautiful weather to buy a coffee or new pair of pants.

But in Soho, London, one shop seemed to be an outlier.

If any of the passing foot traffic had taken a moment to peak into the glassy windows of said shop, an elegant sign reading Fell & Co hanging over their heads, they would have had the pleasure of seeing three very different people all talking to each other idly.

Even if the conversation was anything but.

"Really Aziraphale, you think he'd be a bit less chatty when sick. Peace and quite for once an all that."

A light gasp sounded from your left, prompting you to look at the angel next to you.

"That is not nice!" Aziraphale said your name full of disappointment, prompting an apologetic smile to spread across your lips.

"Sorry, mate. But I'm not wrong, am I?" You said while continuing to help him shelf books.

"Bite me." A lump of blankets behind you growled in response, a head of red hair poking out of one end.

"No, thank you, Crowley. I'll catch your cold."

It was supposed to have been a normal day. You had called and asked Aziraphale if this afternoon was a good day to pop in for a visit, only to be met with the sort of panic that could only be described as fretting.

Apparently, Crowley has never taken too well to the springtime. Who knew a demon could have allergies?

Each time he or Aziraphale attempted to miracle away the cold, it would just pop back up a few seconds later. It was as if someone had cursed him with a mild inconvenience. You wouldn't be too surprised if that was the case, actually. I mean, this is Crowley you're talking about. He's not exactly the best at making friends—even if he did manage to snag you somehow.

By the time you had arrived at the bookstore, swinging open the door as the closed signed clattered against it loudly, they had given up on any thought of magical remedies.

So here you were. Hovering over the sick demon with a concerned look. Er, well, Aziraphale was. You had opted for more of a quirked eyebrow, not willing to show how worried you were just yet. Lord, er Satan, or whoever the fuck knows Crowley wouldn't let you live that down.

"If anything Crowley—" You paused for a moment to flip the book you had been holding upside down into its rightful place before handing it off to Aziraphale, "—I'd say this is karma from all those times you yell at your plants."

"To hell with my damn plants!" He sniffled, sun glasses no longer on his face as he glared at your back.

Before you could get a word in edgewise, a sneeze sounded out from the couch. Without even looking, your knee-jerk reaction kicked in.

"God bless you."

You got two very different reactions out of that.

Aziraphale practically beamed at your words, and Crowley hissed as if physically hit, curling in on himself. It wasn't until you stopped to consider what you had just said that you realized your blunder.

"Sorry." You cringed. "Forgot about the demon stuff."

"Forgot? Remind me, angel, why do we even keep them around." Crowley spat, pulling yet another blanket onto his ever growing pile. You risked a glance back at him only to be met with slitted eyes. You simply let out a nervous laugh before scooting to a different bookshelf farther away from him. Better safe than sorry when it came to your demon friend.

"Because we like them, remember? They complimented my vest and your Bently, and then you asked if we could keep them." The angel responded. If he noticed how you choked on air at that last bit, he didn't choose to say anything.

"He said what now?" You coughed harshly at the same time Crowley groaned.

"Yeah yeah. A mistake in the heat of the moment." Was all he said before retreating further into the blanket burrito he had concocted. Somewhere in there was a quilt you were sure Aziraphale had knitted for him centuries ago, but you chose not to point out the tiny detail, instead filing that information away for later as a hidden smile played at your lips.

"As much fun socializing with you two is, I must admit you need to get some rest, Crowley. If we are to fix this problem without a miracle, the human way will have to do." Aziraphale turned to face his companion after you helped file the last pile of books away. You were quick to follow his actions.

Crowley opened his mouth as if to retort, but his eyes flickered from your face and Aziraphales for just a moment. With that he muttered something under his breath and turned over grumpily.

"Just—bugger off." His words were muffled by a dense pillow currently being smooshed to his face. You couldn't tell if it was that or something else, but his voice didn't sound as venomous as it normally did when talking to you.

"Alrighty then!" Aziraphale clapped his hands with a smile, none the wiser. "Ring if you need us, won't you?"

With that, he began to politely exit in the direction of the back of the store. Probably to go read a new series he just got in or re-read another.

You shuffled off behind the angel—only pausing at the entrance to the backroom after taking one more look back at Crowley.

Without saying a word, you took your phone out and set the volume just high enough to be heard. Setting it down on a nearby surface, you pressed play before quickly tip toeing out the room. As if that would stop the fallen angel from figuring out who left it there.

You slipped away just in time to miss Freddy Mercury's voice start-up. As well as the way Crowley smiled in spite of himself, starting to feel a little better already.

[goopyedgay]

I feel sentimental I'm sorry but–

You don't know how happy these stupid guys make me, I don't know why, simply seeing them causes me immense joy in any circumstance, in any medium, they make me smile at my worst moment.

It's funny because when I read Hell Park for the first time I completely ignored them, and my favorite character was Tweek (which is why he is the protagonist of my AU Coven Park), but for some reason when I read Hell Park again, their dynamic caught my attention and I loved them.

Gregory and Estella inspired me immensely, even daring to make my own AU just because of them, what for me was a way to avoid problems and harassment became something ambitious that I am currently working on and trying to give my all.

and not only that, they also inspired me to create my ocs and an equally ambitious story that I have in mind, in case anyone was wondering, these are the ocs that I mainly based on Gregory and Estella to create them lol

And all that thanks to two stupid characters from a canceled South Park AU, honestly, I don't know how I would be if I hadn't met them, it's impossible for me to imagine knowing that they have influenced my life from the end of 2021 until today, this was one of my first drawings 🥲

I know that the issue of the Gregstella ship is somewhat dense, although I don't classify it as "problematic" because I consider that it doesn't even reach that sick level that they want to label it so much. And I know that I am perhaps the most directly responsible for having popularized the ship, and I apologize for that, it was not my intention to attract weird people, because yes, I have seen that quite questionable people have come to like the ship, or at least less so on this side of the pond, but I refrain from interacting with them because I simply don't want to and I have seen very unpleasant things coming from those people.

I would be lying if I said that I no longer like hp gregstella, I think it is something inevitable, even knowing that it is wrong, it is something that I cannot help, but nevertheless, I no longer urge people to ship them, but I also do not harass those who they do it. I think people can do whatever they want as long as it doesn't cross the boundaries of what is considered healthy. So yeah, I still kinda like hp gregstella, but I doubt I'll make content of them in the future, maybe I never will (and I never actually did, other than edits), maybe I'll start drawing them again more frequently since the annoying comments stopped, but I will never make hp gregstella content, but if I do one day, at least you will see it coming i guess 🤧

To the point I no longer care what people think of me, nor do I care to be in the Hell Park fandom, but I am aware that a large part of the fandom likes my art and inevitably I am part of it, so it also makes me happy that people appreciate my drawings despite everything, I love you, especially to the gregstella shippers who follow me and who I talk to (who are mostly lesbians just like me, a little ironic lol) 😭💕

I just want to do what makes me happy, and if people are bothered by what makes me happy, you can just block me, no hard feelings. I will continue drawing my silly couple, because it is the closest thing I will experience to love, being aromantic, I like to write couples with interesting dynamics, but being part of one? No thank you 😦

I finish with this little animation I made of Gregory and Estella from Coven park, for whoever took the time to read this, thank u and gn

[differentsublimephantom]

@zombinafonfrankenstein @seriously-nobody @abiscuit @griffinappreciator @mistressofthemacabresworld

@dreamelies @hostess-of-horror @caspertheconfused

Here is my (probably very bad) Universal Monsters chatfic!! (There’s a bunch of context for my au under the cut, so if you wanna skip it you’ll have to scroll a bit :/ )

Here’s a crapton of context for my AU:

All the characters have access to modern technology for completely unknown reasons (probably due to time travel caused by one of the scientists or something?) (and it makes for funny scenarios). Dracula and Renfield have a healthy (if a bit crazy) romantic relationship (inspired by Gomez and Morticia Addams) because I can’t bring myself to write abuse/conflict. Franky (Frankenstein’s monster) and Bea (bride of Frankenstein) are very cute kind couple (and they are ace) they also both have the intelligence of 18-20 year olds (for the sake of the plot). Jekyll and Hyde are here even though I’m pretty sure universal never made a movie with them. Both Larry Talbot and Jack Griffin’s families think they are dead. Kharis (the mummy) and Gil (creature from the black lagoon) also have average intelligence (because plot) and Kharis speaks English and whatever ancient Egyptian language he spoke when he was alive. Gil speaks English, and gets sick when in saltwater because he is (as far as I know) lagoons are (mostly) freshwater. They are all roommates living and “living” in the same house, the mansion from Abbot and Costello Meet Frankenstein. Griffin is a menace, frequently pranks everyone, and brags about crashing a train. I’m 95.9% sure none of these characters are actually “in character”, this is as “ooc” as you could get lmao

(Btw I wrote this as if it was gonna be posted on ao3 ((it’s not)) so that’s why it has chapters and chapter descriptions)

Chapter 1: documentary

(Griffin pranks Larry Talbot)

Griffin: social experiment: I play a wolf documentary in a room in the same house as a werewolf. Hypotheses: all the howling will bother him. Expected outcome: either I prank him and he’s too tired to do anything about it, or I get my ass kicked.

Jekyll: ..I- what? Don’t do that Jack. It’s mean.

Griffin: do you forget that I crashed a train?

Jekyll: oh yeah, I purposefully ignore that fact.

Griffin: rude. your ignoring one of my greatest achievements >:(

Jekyll: It’s *You’re and yes. Yes I am.

Dracula: why would a documentary bother Lawrence? It’s on a screen? Fake?

Griffin: I have that answer in the hypothesis >:) also, wdym fake?

Franky: Dracula… do you think documentaries are staged??

Dracula: yes..??? Aren’t they?

Jekyll: No!

Larry: whoever is watching that documentary about wolfs- PLEASE WATCH LITERALLY ANYTHING ELSE.

Griffin: OMFG HYPOTHESIS = CORRECT XD

Griffin: I mean…. wow, whoever’s watching that is definitely not funny.. turn it off guys.

Larry: griffin I can hear your deranged cackling from across the house. It’s not funny, my werewolf senses are going crazy, TURN IT OFF

Griffin : why?? I’ve done no wrong 🥺

Jekyll: that’s historically inaccurate.

Larry: don’t “🥺” me! And you’ve done MUCH WRONG!

Griffin: that’s fair. But no. :)

Larry: why not?! You’re just doing it to bother me!!

Griffin: you can’t prove that! And it’s for educational purposes.

Larry: you admitted it in your previous texts idiot. I can scroll up and see them? “EdUcAtIoNaL PuRpOsEs” bs 🙄

Franky: hey griffin how about you try to bother Gil with a ocean life documentary?

Griffin: oooooooo good idea Franky!

Jekyll: Don’t encourage him Franky!!

Larry:….

In a different group chat…:

Larry: Gil is from the Brazilian Rainforest not the ocean?

Franky: it got the wolf documentary to stop didn’t it??

Larry: ooooohhhhh gotcha ;) thanks

Franky: ;) your welcome. Griffin is sometimes like a toddler, if you want to distract him just give him a shiny new toy to play with.

Larry : ah. Makes sense.

Chapter 2: when a mummy catches you…

(Gil asks an interesting question)

Gil: soooooooo…….what do mummies….. actually….. do?

Kharis: rude!!

Gil: No, I mean, if you were human, being chased by different monsters, what are the consequences?

Gil: a vampire drinks your blood, a werewolf bites you, a zombie eats you, what do mummies do to you?

Kharis: keep asking that question and you’ll find out.

Gil: I’m just wondering!!

Kharis: we beat the living hell outta you when you ask us dumb questions.

Gil: message received!! Chill!

Kharis: thanks 🙄😑

Chapter 3: jello and insomnia

(Bea is eating jello at three am and gets “inspired”)

3:17AM

Bea: could you make jello out of ranch?

Franky: honey, wtf???? Its 3am come back to bed!!

Bea: I’m in the kitchen eating. Can’t sleep. Answer the question.

Franky: no????? It’s too thick of a substance.

Bea: sad. If I could I’d eat ranch cubes with carrot jello.

Franky: ew???

Renfield: what about ketchup jello?? Or pure mayonnaise jello? Or BLOOD jello??

Dracula: that last one sounds yummy ;)

Franky: please stop :/

Bea: babe it’s for science! What about sparkling water jello?? Like- the jello is FIZZY ya know?

Dracula: carbonated jello you mean

Bea: yeah!

Franky: I hate everything about this conversation.

Renfield: relish jello.

Franky: 🤢

Dracula: I know for a fact that some of these exist. Meat jello exists.

Franky: ew, what?

Dracula: blame the Great Depression. Look it up.

Renfield: master!! What about bug jello?!

Dracula: probably not, but there are bug lollipops I think.

Renfield: oh my god I want one

Bea: cheese jello.

Franky: ALL OF YOU GO TO BED PLEASE

Dracula: I’m nocturnal and Renfield stays up late with me, tell Bea to go to bed not me

Franky: BEA PLEASE

Bea: I’ll be in bed in 5 minutes

Franky: thank you… 😮‍💨🥹

9:33AM

Hyde: what the HELL HAPPENED LAST NIGHT?? (And why wasn’t I a part of it?)

Chapter 4: diary

(Griffins steals a diary to try to get secrets)

Griffin: HAHAHAHHAHAHAH OMFGGG

Dracula: oh no…

Bea: what did you do.??

Griffin: I found Kharis’ diary!! >:)

Bea: if you picked it up and took it, then you STOLE Kharis’ diary

Griffin: …shush… anyways!!! Anyone know good ideas on how to blackmail him?

Dracula: griffin that’s not a good idea.

Gil: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH

Griffin: whats so funny Gil?  🤔

Kharis: open the diary idiot.

Bea: oh shit Griffin you’ve been caught

Griffin: GIL DID YOU SNITCH??

Gil: no?? you haven’t opened the book yet have you??

Griffin: ……..

Griffin: …I just did.

Kharis: ;)

Griffin: f you.

Dracula: what happened? What’s in the diary?

Griffin:….. its in hieroglyphics.

Dracula: OMG

Gil: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA KARMA LMAO

Griffin: :’(

Kharis: oh “boo hoo”, you were gonna blackmail me!!

Griffin: thats fair.

chapter 5: the munsters

(Hyde asks a question)

Hyde: you guys know The Munsters right?

Larry: yeah.?

Hyde: well if the dad is a “Frankenstein’s monster” character, and the mom is a vampire, why is their son a werewolf?

Larry: ….

Larry: that’s actually a good question.

Griffin: simple. Lily cheated.

Kharis: or he’s adopted? 😑

Griffin: the cheating storyline is more interesting.

Kharis: sure.

Hyde: plot twist: their milkman is a werewolf ;)

Griffin: HYDE YOU SEE MY VISION YES

Hyde: oh no what did I just start?

Kharis: please don’t encourage him.

Larry: griffin and Hyde trying to prove Lily Munster cheated:

Kharis: XD

Griffin: oh, shut up. >:(

~Fin~

[icarustypicalfall]

ALRIGHT LISTEN

this is just an opinion no need to get in my inbox and hate :)

i GENUINELY wonder if my fics are not good enough, or it's just because i am writing about the "side charachters" and not ghost or könig..

i mean ofc everyone have tastes but the way pepole act on socials and keep out charachters like Rudy and Alejandro makes me wonder if this is a preference or r*cism.

(before you say it, i am not making drama and we can't keep turning around the pot forever)

(also Horangi and Gaz are extremely underrated, fortunately ppl started to include them back after the chaos of September. i understand some people may not like a character or not write for him because they don't want to mess it up. but leaving him out like MANY did isn't okay.)

I am not blaming anyone but genuinely wondering why some charachters get all the attention while we can berly find content for any other character, who are really interesting as well and deserve appreciation.

**

I am not against any headcanon, sticking with the canon events is fine.

y'all need to let people do what they love, even if you don't like it, someone enjoys it. And the purpose of a fandom is to recreate and make new stuff out of the actual product.

Although, what is extremely wrong is oversexualizing the charachters, making from them some mentally ill monsters and manicas. You should educate yourself on disorders and similar stuff before writing it, you may think it's ok, but in reality love, you are making a huge mistake.

(I've seen some stuff that was extremely messed up and the people who wrote that really need to touch some grass and urgent therapy. Some stuff shouldn't be posted at all..)

Also, the face models are actual people.. and the comment section under their posts makes me sick.. some of y'all took the digital footprint for granted..

remember they can read, or see anything you'll say. they have family, friends seeing what y'all say about them..

imagine seeing someone say that stuff about your friend or parent..

Also Samuel Roukin and every other actor are beautiful, they are humans and don't have to be a flawless super model.(he is in fact very handsome 🤭)

Look in the mirror darling and remember that the person you are hating on is a human just like you and have feelings.

AS A CONCLUSION

- you can like whoever you want i am not judging anyone and i am not forcing you to like any character 🤦🏻‍♀️

can't believe i had to add this ppl seriously need to touch grass

-give other characters attention

-dont hate on others for having different opinions

-the face models are humans

-there is some point where you should ask yourself if what you wrote is okay

-its könig not konig

-graves is an antogonist and was supposed to be evil

- all of the charachters did something wrong at some point, this is war and not roses and flowers

this is my opinion and idc i wanted to rant cuz i had enough

masterlist

[tabithatwo]

jackie is a mean girl and i don’t get why people defend her nasty ass. girls like her who think they’re pretty so they can do anything piss me off then they all jump in to defend each other for shitty behavior. watching you do that tells me exactly who you are.

WOW! What a thing to say to a stranger!!

The bigger person in me would probably say clearly you’re hurting and that’s making you decide to be just awful and I hope you heal BUT I had a killer month so she’s actually not home today and instead you get my honest reaction, which is probably fine since you sure gave me your unfiltered opinion!!

Jackie isn’t a mean girl. It’s not even a matter of opinion, it’s a matter of who can pay attention to a fucking show and who cannot pay attention to a show and dives into their own stereotypes and throws them around and covers the text with their own bullshit.

You can have a LOT of different views on Jackie (and any other character!) and they can fall into the purview of differing interpretation (I have a lot of specific reads on her character that I know are not popular opinion and I don’t think people are wrong for disagreeing with!), but I’m sick of pretending like this black and white, jackie is an uncaring cruel mean bitch line of thinking is a valid opinion. It’s just fucking not, like you’re just making shit up at this point. And that’s okay! View media however you want! If you want to imagine that Jackie is a mean girl then that’s your right!

But to come into peoples asks and onto their pages and just spew shit like this is suuuuuch bullshit. And I’ve hesitated to straight up tell people they’re wrong before because that really isn’t my style, but you know what? This was fucking mean and WEIRDLY personal and I’m tired, so you come to me with this shit from now on and I will simply tell you that you are fucking wrong and you have really fucking bad media literacy <3

(If you have these opinions on your OWN BLOG AND NOT IN MY ASKS WHILE YOU COME FOR ME PERSONALLY IN THE SAME BREATH I will see it and think damn I couldn’t disagree more, but I won’t comment on it like that because it’s YOUR SHIT, does this make sense to everyone, do we see the distinction?)

Anyway, you don’t know shit about me. And I don’t know shit about you but since we’re making assumptions here, maybe you were treated poorly by someone and you can’t stop labeling other girls and women unfairly based on that experience, but tbh the way that you are so locked onto hating this teenage girl character and so willing to tell me that you know “exactly who I am” and imply that I’m a “nasty ass mean girl with shitty behavior” really leads me to believe that whoever you are projecting onto Jackie might not have even been mean to you! because you seem to be pretty damn comfortable being the mean one yourself!

Anyway to anyone who is reading this, please don’t do this to people! I know it’s just the internet, I know people can turn off anon asks, I know I know. But also? Sometimes people are having really bad days and something like this would really fuck with them and we are all capable of NOT doing this shit! It’s actually sooo easy to not be an asshole in someone’s messages <3 and if someone has sent you shit like this, just know that it says literally nothing about you and everything about the person saying it, so try your best to just brush it off and carry on! <3 <3 <3

[lemony-and-zesty]

Wasn’t gonna post anything about it, but I’m thinking about it again,,

Mostly cause one of my friends got hate for being friends with me.

But basically, I got banned from an all age-inclusive discord server for honestly insane reasons.

But in the end, they’ve essentially accused me of being a child predator and “posting nsfw in a server with minors.”

In reality I posted art with blood in it. Which the rules of the server said was allowed as long as it was spoilered and there were content warnings. I did this the handful of times I drew blood. Hell, I even said every time, “If I need to delete this please let me know.” They never did, so I assumed it was ok.

Anyways, here are my “crimes”

All of these things are things blown wildly out of proportion.

The “non-con” I drew was the two posts I made about Hitman’s boss.

The inappropriate conversations and interactions with minors from the server was actually just me being friends with one of the minors and letting them talk to me about their aus and talking to them about my aus.

And also being there for them when an actual fucking creep was in the server and the mods just let them be.

There was a person in the server who was talking about characters having sex *to a minor.*

And I helped bring this to the mods attention because I noticed just how uncomfortable this minor was in a voice call with this other person and switched to a private call to check on them.

I ended up telling a mod, who then told the other mods, who then decided to ban this person.

The real shocker?

This person was removed from the server with so much more respect than I was.

I wanna stress just how blindsided I was by this ban.

I got no warnings. I had no idea. No one had expressed discomfort with me whatsoever.

The only warning I ever got was for sending a link to the tumblr that has the Twitter drama Trolls AU where Floyd and Creek are super toxic and all that jazz. I sent it in the voice chat while on call with two people who are over 18. The link was deleted and I was asked to be more mindful. Which I agreed to.

Anyways, the point is, had I not been on call with two people from the server, I would have gone to sleep thinking everything was fine, and woken up to being banned without warning.

This is the only information I got.

The only reason I even know *why* I was banned was because I still had friends in the server who saw the aftermath.

I am not ashamed of any of my actions. I always did my best to make sure people were comfortable and I believed - mistakenly - that someone would let me know if they weren’t. If anyone had communicated with me *at all* this could have all been avoided.

At the end of the day though, I am sick of being treated like a child predator by these people when in reality I am just someone who wanted to post silly stuff about Trolls with people who enjoy Trolls.

If anyone has any issue with any claims the people from that server have made, I am willing to talk about and explain my actions - or hell, even apologize if it turns out I was in the wrong.

I’m not perfect by any means, and if I made anyone uncomfortable I truly am sorry.

But, I never did anything worth this level of contempt and disrespect.

Thank you for listening and sorry for the long ass post.

I just needed to at least give some insight into some of the stuff I’ve experienced lately.

Especially since this server was genuinely so important to me. It was helping me through some of my worst experiences and I’ve made some amazing friends from it. And for that I am grateful.

And finally, to whoever sent hate to my friend, don’t be a coward. Go off anon and talk to me. I have nothing to hide and I’m not afraid of you. Because in the end I know I’m not a child predator and I know I never intended to hurt anyone.

And if I still had access to the server I would have screenshots to prove it.

Goodnight everyone <3

[beetlesau]

SoulBox

CHAPTER 5, THIS IS IT THE LAST CHAPTER

I'm wrapping this up because I just don't have the steam to make a cohesive story anymore lol. I thought I'd have one more chapter but then I crammed it all into this one, oops.

I'm sorry if you wanted to be tagged still it's just been so long since an update I feel anxious about it.

It's time we meet.

You unwrapped a crisp little note that rattled your Soulbox,

Actually this time. No distractions, nothing getting in the way. I'm starting to feel way in over my head about this lately and I've never felt that way about shit before. You deserve the truth. I don't even know if you'll like me for who I am. It doesn't feel right to not tell you everything. 

You read the note a few times over to yourself. It was so... perplexing. Up until this point, you'd thought he had just been busy, but now you realized he was avoiding you for a reason. The anxiety you felt was enough to call in a personal day at work. You lay on your couch, wads of crinkled papers thrown around the room. You had no idea how to respond. You wanted to meet, but after obsessing over these cryptic words, what did he mean he's not who you think? Who is he? Is he a villain? Is he even in the hero profession at all? 

Why, oh why, did none of those options.... matter, to you?

Your anxiety was centered around why none of this seemed like a big deal to you. But, it was a big deal? And you should be anxious that your soulmate has a deal-breaking secret to tell you, but you aren't. Which is just making you anxious for all the wrong reasons. 

... you felt bad for... not .. feeling bad. 

You were pacing yourself sick when the buzzer to your apartment rang. It startled you enough you nervously approached the speaker by your door. What if it was him? What if he had found you somehow? What if now was the time? What if-- The buzzer rang again, more feverish and unending now. 

"Hello!?" you all but screamed to whoever was ringing your apartment's number. 

"What the hell are you doing? Why the hell aren't you at work dumbass?" a familiar voice growled through to you.

"Oh! Bakugo... I... I'm uh, I'm just not feeling well. I think... I have a cold!"

"... Bullshit. You've never been sick a day in your life, your quirk won't allow it."

How did he... never mind, there were probably plenty of people who could figure that fun fact out about you, not just Midoriya the hero-obsessed wonder.

"Ah, uh, that's not, true. Um, see I think it must be a new strand. Yeah, I can't seem to even use my quirk to get rid of it I'm so sick. *Cough Cough* ah, yeah see? So you'd better just leave, I can't have you coming up and getting si--"

You nearly jumped out of your skin as there was a pounding at your door. You checked the peek hole and saw it was none other than Bakugo, scowling into the lens.

"Son of a. WHO let you in the building!?" you screeched, turning to the mess that was your apartment. You scrambled to pick up loose notes, wadded papers, and an occasional tissue when your thoughts went to the worst possible meaning behind the sudden soul-sent message. 

"Turns out the doorman is a huge fan of Dynamite. What the FUCK are you doing and why have you not opened this door yet, huh?" he grumbled. "I'll break it down, you know I will." You could hear the agitation in his voice.

"NO! ugh, just give me a second would you!? I told the office I was taking a personal day, I didn't know I also had to tell you too!"

You march back to the door and yank it open, "Remind me to look for apartments with better security--what? What are these?" Your eyes caught the tufts of color lowered by his side.

"What the hell do they look like, Smokey, they're flowers." he pushed them to your chest before inviting himself in. 

"I...? Thank you. Why?"

He didn't answer, he just looked at you like you were the crazy one for even asking. 

"Okay. Anyway, I'm sorry, is there something I can help you with? I took the day off for a reason you know?"

"What reason?" he quipped.

"It's just one day, Bakugo. I'm just having a personal crisis I guess. My soulmate wants to try and meet up again."

"So? Isn't that what you wanted?" his face unreadable, he made his way uninvited to your couch. 

"Make yourself at home, I guess?" Shifting into host mode you pulled bottled water from your fridge and offered it up to your new houseguest. "Well yeah, but the way the note was-- wait how do you know where I live?"

"Wow, distracted much? Your dumbass friend from work, Karen or whatever the fuck told Kirishima and I heard so here I am."

"Kirishima asked where I lived. Why? Wait who? Who's Karen? I'm totally lost."

"Jesus, the secretary lady, I don't know her name I thought it was Karen. WHO CARES. You focus on the dumbest shit, I swear."

"It's not dumb, it's completely valid! But, FINE. WHY DID KIRISHIMA, need to get my address from Sahrin, the secretary!?!" you raise your voice to the absolute bafoon sitting in front of you.

"He heard you were sick and wanted to have a card signed by the office and sent over to you, shitty woman!"

"I'M NOT SICK, HOW DID HE EVEN GET THAT IDEA??"

"OBVIOUSLY FROM ME, IDIOT? I JUST KNEW SHE WASN'T GOING TO GIVE ME THE ADDRESS BECAUSE SHE'S AN ASSHOLE!"

"So you're telling me, you got Kiri to think I was sick, planted the idea that I needed a get well card sent over to me, so you hid within earshot while he probably flirted to get my address out of the secretary, "tHe AsSHolE" Sahrin NOT Karen, and then took it upon yourself to come to my apartment and harass me on my day off, right?"

"I didn't fuckin' hide. I could have got it myself if I wanted, I just didn't wanna flirt with some extra." he huffed. 

"Okay, Bakugo. Well?"

"Well what, hag!?"

"... where's my get well soon card!?" You held out your hand, only for it to get harshly swatted away by the blonde. 

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME? GET SERIOUS."

"Oh wait, so that's what the flowers were for! Everyone thinks I'm sick?"

Bakugo's face blanked a moment, his mouth moving without speaking before his words finally caught up.

"Sure. Anyway, how is your dumbass soulmate causing you to take a personal day off work?" his face was heavy with stress, even with him trying to hide it you could see.

"Right. I dunno. I know it's so stupid--"

"I didn't say it was stupid. I just want a real answer."

"I'll get there! I just, he wants to meet again and the things he said in his note just... didn't sit right with me." You slouched into the couch trying to collect all your various free-floating thoughts.

"First he tells me he's been busy lately. So we haven't messaged a lot, which is fine. But, he's been ... acting differently whenever we do."

"Different? How?" Bakugo leaned in close, his expression told you this conversation had his full attention. It made you feel... wrong. This was the kind of thing you should tell a close friend, not some coworker you started having a crush on. It felt like cheating. 

A what-- you turned your eyes away from his burning red one. A bit of a slap to the face that something very obvious had only just now been realized by you. 

"I- I-" you stammered, Your thought process seemed to have come to a halt on the outside but on the inside, you couldn't stop the flow of information that was coming from this new discovery. 

You hesitated to meet your soulmate now, after minimal contact these past weeks. Why? Because you had someone else to occupy your thoughts now? Was that fair? Was that even right?

Did you stay home out of fear?

Fear that your soulmate wanted to reject you, no it would seem not.

Fear that you would go to work and see someone that didn't make you feel all that bad about that possibility, maybe.

And then what? Bakugo has a soulmate, and from what little he's told you about them, the way he's told you, they might as well be the Sun compared to you. 

"I'm sorry. I don't know." You glared hard at nothing in particular. "No, that's not true. It's been me. I've been different." You wrung your hands from the anxiety. Your thoughts and feelings were unfolding before you in real time, not exactly in the way you were used to. 

"You?" Bakugo inched closer to your face, something anyone else wouldn't think twice about being that it was a minuscule distance, but at this moment you were hyperaware of every little thing about him. The way his eyes searched your face for more answers. Answers you didn't want to give. 

"Yeah. What if I don't... what if it turns out I don't want him to... I've spent my life, believing in him as my one true Soulmate. I know that the world has so many possibilities for us, that there's never just One option. One outcome. But he was my first. And as a child, I banked so hard on fairytales and true love. I was so stubborn I didn't think about ever moving on just because he wouldn't speak to me. And that obsession with him being the one grew because of all the hard work I put into loving him and making him love me."

"But now you don't feel the same?"

"I love him. I do. Or I know I'm supposed to. I know that I will. Because he's my soulmate. I just thought..... I thought he would be the only one I loved." you confessed. Suddenly overwhelmed you stood. "I think you should leave." Your heart tremored at what you needed to do. There was no way you could keep going down this path, you could see no light at the end of it. Even if your soulmate had something horrid to tell you there was no use leaning on Bakugo for any of it. You wouldn't dream of chasing something forbidden as another person's soulmate

He stood without argument or snark as he normally would and silently headed towards the door. He seemed to understand what you were going through, having gone through the same quite recently himself. 

"I'm sorry. That I did this. This isn't how I wanted things to go, and I never meant to confuse you. I want you to know that all of this has been very real for me. I'm sorry for not being who I should have been from the start, instead of being an asshole. But I promise you, things can be fixed now." he left quietly, and the air was thick with unspoken words. 

You took your Soulbox and moved to the counter. You couldn't wait or hesitate any longer. There was no reason to stall, no reason to overthink it. You quickly jotted down your reply to your waiting soulmate. 

Then let's meet, Soulmate.

Let's meet at this park outside of this cafe, here.

The letter came shortly after you'd sent yours. It couldn't have been more than thirty minutes after Bakugo had left. It was a park not far from where you'd had lunch with him so many days ago. 

Alright, when?

Now.

Your heart skipped a beat. Now? But you were... well... you weren't busy. But they didn't know that. Maybe you could come up with an excuse... Why were you so nervous? This was what you'd wanted your entire life but the butterflies in your stomach were overwhelming you. 

I know you're free today, don't bother trying to get out of it. 

You read the message that followed, your heart vibrated so hard you were sure it could activate your quirk and leave you. How? How did they know? Oh god. You felt yourself so desperate now. You needed to know. 

I'm on my way. 

Know that I love you. 

You stared at the message, unsure of your feelings. You mindlessly held on to this note as you gathered your purse and locked your apartment door behind you. 

You decided to walk, it wasn't far. You needed time to gather your thoughts and your courage for the meeting. When you arrived, however, you were met with a familiar face unexpectedly. 

"Hey! Kirishima, what are you doing here?" you paused on the idea that he was your soulmate, but it was quickly cast from your mind when he jumped straight to the point. 

"Did you know that Katsuki never had a Soulbox? He still doesn't." he smiled at you like you'd been in the middle of a perfectly normal conversation. 

"What?"

"Yeah, he used to just stuff letters into the front pouch of his backpack in UA." Kirishima's sharp teeth grinned in fondness at his memories. "One day me and some of our friends were curious so we took it when he wasn't looking, and we found a letter form his Soulmate, that was how we found out."

"Oh. That's... funny. Why are you- Why tell me this?"

He ignored you in favor of telling another story. 

"So a few years before you came to UA, you remember on the news that he'd been kidnapped and all that? Then we started staying in dorms on campus. Everyone wanted to know what his room looked like because he wouldn't let us in. Anyway, we told him we wanted to study and we all agreed we should do it in his room. He let us, thinking we were actually going to study. The jokes on him cause we all barely passed our classes either way. But yeah, so Mina saw a keychain hanging on the bed's headrest. It was some AllMight holiday edition I think? I don't remember. But, not the point. So we grilled him and he told us it was the first thing his soulmate ever sent to him, funny right?"

"Funny." Your heart was in your throat now. You could feel tears threatening at the corner of your eyes. You needed to hear more but needed silence all at once. It was so much to take in. There was no reason for him to be telling any of this to you. This strangely similar parallel story that you feel like you lived in some way. 

"And do you know what the first thing he ever sent to his soulmate was?" Kirishima asked you gently.

You instinctually reached for the locket that lay around your neck, realizing you were still holding the note you'd carried with you to the park. 

"What was it?" you whispered so softly you didn't think he'd heard your question. But he didn't need to, it wasn't for him. 

"It was a shitty gum wrapper." a familiar gruff voice spoke behind you. 

You spun so fast on your heels that you'd lost balance enough to fall into this voice. 

"Please." your tears fell freely now. "Please say it's you." you whimpered. 

"I tortured someone for years because I had fallen in love with them. I did everything I could to keep myself from getting close to them because I was scared it would mean I didn't really love my Soulmate." Bakugo steaded you, his grip on you was firm and desperate as if you would try to run away. "Then I found out the truth. That I was pushing away the one person I wanted by my side forever."

"I wanted it to be you." was all you could manage, You held out your hand and the last Soulmate letter rolled in your palm, crinkled and wadded up. He took it from you, fixing it, folding it neatly this time before taking the wrapper from your locket and replacing it. 

"I don't want you to hate me. I pushed you away because I thought you belonged to someone else. That I belonged to someone else. I should have known it was you all along. I could never be with anyone but you." Katsuki wiped the tears from your face, now holding your cheeks in his calloused hands. 

"I wanted it to be you. I'm so happy that it's you, Katsuki."

It was all he'd needed to hear before pressing his lips to yours. 

[canirove]

The Princess & the Football Player | Chapter 28

Previous chapter | Next chapter

Masterlist

"Good morning, sweetheart."

"Hi."

"I've brought you some breakfast" my mum says, leaving a tray with food on the bedside table and sitting on the bed.

"I'm not hungry."

"You must eat something."

"I'm not hungry" I repeat.

"Eleanor, please. I'm sure he wouldn't like to see you getting sick."

"Why did you have to mention him?" I say, covering my head with the duvet and starting to cry.

"I'm sorry. I just... Drink the juice at least. You will dihydrate if you keep crying like that."

"I don't care!"

"Eleanor..."

"Leave me alone!"

"I'm your mother, I'm not going anywhere." 

And so far, she hasn't. Since the moment she found me crying on the floor after Declan left, she has been by my side. She has spent the whole night with me, taking care of me, comforting me. When she left to pick up my breakfast, it probably is the longest she has been gone for.

"Eleanor... Ellie..." she says after taking a deep breath. "Do you know why at first I opposed to you dating Declan?"

"Because you are a snob with a stick up your ass."

"No, Eleanor" she sighs. "I opposed to it because I knew this would happen. Because I knew he'll end up breaking your heart, and I didn't want to see you suffer like this."

"Because he isn't like us."

"Exactly."

"See? You are a snob!"

"I am not a snob. But I better than anyone know how it feels to fall in love with a royal when you aren't part of that world. What it entails, all the sacrifices you must make, how much you must fight. And it isn't easy, Eleanor. You don't know how many times I had my phone on my hand ready to call your dad and tell him it was over, that I couldn't deal with the press, with everything I had to learn if I wanted to be queen one day. It was so tough. Not just for me, but for everyone around me."

"But you never did it. You never gave up like he has done."

"Because unlike Declan, I had nothing to lose. If things between Philip and I hadn't worked out, if we had broken up... Yes, we both would be heartbroken. Especially me. But that was it. I had my studies and I could start again. Maybe not in England, but definitely somewhere else. Declan doesn't have that luxury."

"What do you mean?" I ask, uncovering my head.

"He has his career. His dream. Everything he and his family have worked for since he was a kid. They've sacrificed many things for it, and he couldn't lose that."

"So instead, he chose to lose me."

"Yes. But not because you weren't worth it, because he doesn't love you, or because it was the easier choice. He did it because he knows it is something that can be fixed."

"What?"

"When I found out you were seeing someone who wasn't Charles, I thought it was just something fleeting. Then I noticed how happy you were, that you actually had feelings for whoever that boy was. And despite suspecting that he probably was one of Mason's friends and that you had met him through Roberta, I said to myself… well, maybe it will work out. Just look at her, at how she is glowing. Then you told us who he was and I knew it was a mistake, that you would end up hurting each other. But you both still kept fighting. And then, again, I thought… maybe I'm wrong. Maybe they'll work through this, maybe the fact that he has had to deal with huge pressure before at such a young age will help them."

"But you were wrong."

"Yes and no. I was wrong because he clearly hasn't been able to deal with everything that has happened since the press found out about you two and with everything else going on on the pitch. But Eleanor... The way you and Declan love each other... You don't get to see that every day. It is true love. Right now you probably feel like the world is ending, like it is over. But it isn't. This just wasn't your moment to be together. You'll have a second chance, I'm sure of it."

"What... What do you mean?"

"I..." she says, taking a deep breath. "I think that one day, both of you will be strong enough to fight against anything and everything, and you will be ready to get back together. I don't know when that will happen, but..."

"It isn't a goodbye, it's a see you soon" I say, remembering what Declan said before he left.

"That's it, yes."

"If one day that happens... If we get back together… Will you support us? Will you be by our side?"

"I will. I promise you I will" she says, caressing my cheek.

"It would have been easier if you had told me all this before, you know? Everyone kept telling me that you were just trying to protect me, but if you had explained it to me..."

"I know. I just… I didn't know how to do it, so I took the harsh way. But I love you, Eleanor. You know I do, don't you?"

"I do" I say, sitting up.

"I'm sorry I didn't do things right. That I hurt you so much. Both you and Declan."

"It's ok" I whisper.

"I know things are gonna be very difficult. That right now you are heartbroken and feel like nothing makes sense anymore. But I'm here for you, and I will help you with everything. Now and always" she says, taking my hand on hers. 

"Thank you, mum" I cry.

"Oh, come here" she says, hugging me.

"I love you."

"I love you too, Eleanor."

[eff-plays]

Obviously I can't prove it, but I'm not the same anon from the BG3 Fandom Critical blog!

Alrighty! In that case, here's my response to your second message!

And also the BG3 fandom critical anon, you're welcome to read this too, I have a small bit specifically for you at the end, since I assume you read my blog.

I mean there are definitely freakos and weirdos who will use any reason to morally justify their irrational (or sometimes somewhat rational) hatred for a character, in any fandom. And there are definitely crusaders who will try to use social justice in order to justify being an absolute shithead online. Personally I'm not really interested in arguing with those people or their stances or offering them more nuance than I already have, mainly because to them it doesn't really matter.

Like this blog isn't for people who send death threats over fictional character takes. Full stop. Doesn't matter if I agree with the cause itself. Like your brain is so fried at that point that I do not see any reason to engage with you. And tbh anon I suggest you do the same! Not in a condescending way, I just genuinely think that throwing those sorts of people out of your thoughts will actually improve your brain space. Don't waste precious mental effort on trying to understand or reason with people who aren't interested in a conversation.

Sure there are people who will use Wyll's treatment to moralize about their own hatred for Astarion. I'm sure those people exist. And I think it's hella cringe to make the mistreatment and neglect of a Black character entirely about a white character, who is only a symptom of a larger issue. But I think if they're at the point where they're sending death threats, then writing out essays about how Astarion is totally a soft boy, trust me, isn't gonna help change their mind. So I won't do that. Le shrug etc.

This all being said, I also think that a lot of the people who are sick of Astarion and do feel that a lot of fans might step into Wyll's "territory" with their portrayal of him feel this way for a reason. Like, especially for Black fans, I'm sure these opinions come from a very real place of hurt, and it's not my place to tell them they're wrong to feel that way or express their frustration. If they're sick of what they perceive is fandom portraying Astarion as a white Wyll stand-in, I'm not in any position to tell them otherwise because I do not have the same perspective as they do. Like yeah maybe they are incorrect in their perception or interpretation of Astarion as a character, but me imposing my own view of him onto them is less important to me than respecting their pain and experiences, ya know? I'm not here to convince them to like a guy who's lowkey a magnet for the cringiest motherfuckers a fandom could ask for. It's not my struggle and I will not make it my struggle.

Obviously anyone who sends death threats is a freako and weirdo and I want nothing to do with them. But I don't think the overlap between those two groups is quite as large as it seems, and it would be disengenuous to claim that (not that I'm saying you're doing it, only that we shouldn't be doing it).

I'm also not here to absolve every Astarion fan of accusations of racism. Obviously don't send death threats over a headcanon, but I can't make a blanket statement that all Soft!Astarion fans are coming up with headcanons that aren't racist or that don't accidentally or intentionally portray him closer to Wyll than to himself. I have no way of knowing that, and I'm in no position to make that judgment even if I did know.

All I can say is: Don't debate or offer nuance to people who send death threats. They're beyond that. They're brain-broken. That's it. That's my one hard stance.

Anyway I also don't think Astarion would offer Tav flowers. Don't care enough to send death threats to whoever does though. Because I am. Normal.

Adding in a small comment for the anon on BG3 fandom critical:

Obviously, once again, don't take the words of death-threat-sending freaks into any sort of consideration, but pretending that anyone who makes these criticisms is a death-threat-sending freak would also be dishonest. Try to understand where these criticisms come from, even if you don't agree, and try to make a judgment on whether defending your fave is worth the same as people expressing real hurt over their real-world oppression being reflected in art they enjoy for escapism. It's just a bit silly to go "And now I'm going to commit the greatest sin of them all" over a pretty popular headcanon and then inviting people to send you death threats like you're Jesus dying on the cross. C'mon man.

[alannybunnue]

bae i think i finally got the lore and legend down for reader's bethroed, all im missing is his name but i am infamously shit at naming things 💀

the guy is 2/3rds divine; born in the early stages of the Age of Heroes. he's like a nephew-many-times-removed of the drowned god from his Mother's side and his father is one of the Old Gods. The god of the earth, forests and livestock to be precise. He lived an unremarkable existence for a godling, because while everyone else was collecting heroic feats left and right, he was staying in forests playing his flute and composing poetry. Yeah, he was a bit of a soft boi. Big emphasis on was. His favourite spot for doing his thing was a nice glade— it's usually peaceful but unfortunately a little something happened.

see; his dad and the Storm God aren't really fond of each other and would insult each other on the regular. subtly, of course. But one day, his dad took their usual banter a bit too far and the Storm God got really pissed. And because the Bitch himself got pissed, he told the gatekeeper of the underworld (whoever that is) that Forest Daddy was spreading some humiliating rumours about him. So Gatekeepers lets a few hellhounds out and tells them to specifically target forests and livestock and it doesn't take long for the demon dogs to reach Our Guy's favourite hang-out spot.

he doesn't know any of this happened btw, he's just pissed st the hell hounds. So he pulls a Pied Piper and leads the hellhounds away with his trusty flute and a cheery little song. The rest of his day goes on without a hitch but the hellhounds show up again the next day, and the next, and the next. He does the same thing everyday too, the Pied Piper thing but he gets sick of it pretty quickly so he just switches hang-out spots. The new hang-out spot is Reader's favourite beach at the time and that's how they meet actually. Unlike everyone else though, he doesn't turn Yandere instantly because he just wants a peaceful place to hang out.

[ALSO— We don't really know WHEN Demigod!Reader was born, but the Age of Heroes was when Westeros was at it's peak of magic so let's say she was born a few years after her bethroed.]

Reader and her not-yet Bethroed try to coexist for a while but c'mon. They're both spoiled Godlings who are young and impulsive and definitely haven't been properly socialised by their parents. doesn't take long until they're at each other's throats yelling and insulting each other.

[her Bethroed: GO FUCK YOUSELF SEAWEED BRAIN, THIS BEACH IS MINE!

Demigod!Reader: NO, YOU FUCK OFF MUSIC MAN YOU'RE PLAYING ISN'T EVEN THAT GOOD!!]

it's like watching two nerds fight each other (because it is) and Our Guy leaves after like, a week because he got so sick of Reader. So now he's more pissed than before and he's coming back to his glade with a sword and a dream. A dream to fucking kill these hellhounds and have him his spot back. He kills them pretty easily but what he didn't know was that these hell hounds were the Gatekeeper's precious pets. So Storm God — seeking to piss off Forest Daddy some more — tells the Gatekeeper to just, throw our boy in the underworld. The Gatekeeper might be a god but he's still a dog parent at heart so he does and let me tell you. Our Boy is a soft boy no longer after that. Him getting thrown in the underworld is actually when the people stop recording him in the Age of heroes. It's one of those "but one day he'll return to seek vengeance and bring about the apocalypse" endings. Also his several centuries in the underworld like changes him, when he returns it's like he's a completely different person.

*devilish narrator voice* having gone through dangers and traumas unspoken, our poor music man is a good boi no longer. what was once just a soft boi looking for peace and a place to play his flute is now a certified asshole who wants to make life as hard and miserable for those who have wronged him. *devilish narrator voice stops* also now he's just a dick to everyone, he picked up a few habits from the demons in hell. Everyone in Hell is a thief and he got like all his shit stolen once including his favourite flute — he beat the shit out of a lot of people to get it back but hell/the underworld gave him a lot of trust issues (brought to you by demons) and possessiveness over his belongings (brought to you by demons). I like to think Our Guy returns during Game of Thrones era, but he could return at any era you want. Also he wasn't really Papa Drowned God's first choice as reader's husband but uh let's see:

- wants to fuck up the Storm God's shit

- is strong enough to literally walk out of hell

- will go through great lengths to get back what's his and doesn't like anything being stolen from him

- good looking enough to maybe look good in a wedding picture with reader

yeah, he fits. His time in hell didn't just turn him into an asshole barbarian btw, he's still his old self except more matrue, with more trauma, and more bitchiness. Reader also matured since the Age of Heroes. She's not so antagonistic towards people trespassing on her beaches anymore (miracle how that is) and is way more compassionate. They still banter though. Also Forest Daddy approves of this match because he and the Drowned God are besties now. They're both enemies of the Storm Bitch and have had their children wronged by him in the past so "YEAAHHHH FUCK HIM LET'S JOIN OUR BLOODLINES!!"

[additionally Reader and her Bethroed banter:

Reader: boo! go to hell you tone-deaf bitch!

her Bethroed: where do you think i came from you fucking squid]

if you wanna make some edits to him or his lore go ahead, but all we're really missing is his name. Also he's definitely a reluctant yandere; like he loathes you but god, if someone does anything you he's putting them in the grave. his obsession develops over time. This is longer than it should've been for someone who's just "Yandere Demigod Westerosi Pied Piper from Hell" 😭 i feel like it's not good enough somehow 😭😭

I am in love (You fucking squid 🤣)

But let me make some details clear first before i make a scenario based on this:

For now, i am calling this boy Rhyeyr, why? Because yes

Also, i only have an idea for his appearance for after he came back for the Underworld. It's something like the Curupira, a deity from Brazilian Folklore,

Secondly, the Demigoddess personality and how it will affect their relationship: She was indeed born in the Age of Heroes and was raised by the Ironborn way before Aegon conquered Westeros, so they still dealt with things in the Old ways, which made her into a proud and willful girl. But her years in the sea made her a bit spoiled, not enough to become entitled though. She may loves her beach, but also adores company, so the idea she would want Rhyeyr to leave doesn't seem too right.

So to me, they wouldn't have much of a rocky relationship in the beginning, only when Rhyeyr returned from the Underworld and turned into a dick, because then the Reader would already be wary of others, and the change of demeanor on Rhyeyr would scare her a bit, resulting in her acting on self defense.

So for this scenario, he will return in the Era of Robert's rebellion, cuz that could be the reason why my girl went to the Land in the first place, cuz she refused to marry this rascal.

But once she was taken by Aerys and having to deal with this war between Robert and Rhaegar, she was in despair wanting to go back.

->

She saw him as a friend

Once a long time ago

But this friend was dragged underground as she was taken away by everyone she knew. Years of warfare in her name deteriorated her mental state and killed her trust in others.

She only felt peace at home, the Iron Islands and the seas. But that wasn't the case for father, to him, she would never be safe, she needed someone to protect her other than himself.

He heard from his old friend that his son returned from his incarceration and proposed for them to marry their children. The Drowned God immediately accepted.

The little princess was finally meeting her old friend once again, but as soon as they arrived to meet the boy, she immediately knew that he changed.

His demeanor wasn't the sweet soft and proud one from before, he was unnecessarily rude and she could feel his annoyance towards her. She couldn't stay there.

She left disappointed and refusing to marry that man.

But her actions have consequences, and now she is trapped in that same castle from many centuries that terrorized her.

She, in her despair to leave, started pleading to the other gods, in her prayer, she thought of him, Rhyeyr, her betrothed and old friend.

And she called him.

Feeling the wind wash over her, as some sort of comfort, she looked. Behind her, there he was.

"You came"

"...You called"

[bigskyandthecoldgun]

killer frequency

1 2 3

ao3

words: 3.3k

“911 is calling me to report a body?” Steve asks, and this has to be a joke. Albeit one he doesn’t really get the appeal of yet, but maybe it’s got something to do with the Guess That Scream segment. Maybe Owens had arranged it, had hired some actress to do an elaborate bit for the show. “Interesting set-up. Alright, I’ll bite. What’s the punchline, then?”

“Steve, I recognize her voice—and her name. I’m pretty sure that actually is our 911 operator. I think this is real,” Eddie says uncertainly, his voice going a little tinny over the headphones, and Steve frowns.

If it is real—and that’s a big if—Steve will apologize later. “Eddie, I’m not gonna be happy if this is a prank,” he warns. “I don’t do prank segments on my shows. It’s in my contract.”

It’s pretty ironclad. He’d been pranked one too many times by one of his asshole coworkers back in Chicago for the guy’s failing prank radio show to agree to them anymore. “Steve, I really don’t think this is a prank,” Eddie says, a little more firmly this time. “If it is, Owens didn’t warn me about it. But that’s Joyce for sure, and she’s not big on pranks either.”

Steve sighs. “Joyce, if you’re telling the truth, you should report this to the Chief, not a radio show. What was his name? Chief…Hopper? Am I remembering that right?”

“I’m at the police station right now,” Joyce says.

“Wait, what?” Steve asks, because it makes even less sense for her to be calling now.

“Deputy Powell is dead,” Joyce tells them, her voice a little shaky.

“What?!” Eddie shrieks, and Steve winces. “Deputy Powell is dead?!”

Joyce sighs—or at least, he’s assuming it’s her, it’s hard to distinguish whether wordless noises are coming from callers or Eddie. “I couldn’t get any response from the department. That’s never happened before, so I came to the station, and…I found him,” she explains, and she sounds like she might be sick.

Jesus. Steve doesn’t know what the hell he’s supposed to say to that. “Oh, shit, poor Powell. Do you know what happened to him?” Eddie asks, half-uncertain, like he doesn’t know whether or not he should be asking that question. Steve is staunchly on the side of the two of them not asking that question.

“Someone got him. Someone got up very close and—I really don’t want to say what they did to him,” she says, and Steve shudders.

“Did he…fight back?” he asks.

“I don’t know! I think he tried. He’s surrounded by bullet casings—I think he tried to shoot at whoever it was, but…” Joyce trails off.

Holy hell, this is insane. “Well, is—is anyone else at the station? Anyone who can help you or…who might be responsible?” Steve asks, fearing the answer to the latter.

Joyce sighs. “No, I-I checked everywhere. Chief Hopper is here, but he’s knocked out. tied up, and locked in a holding cell,” she says. “I called you right after I found him.”

Steve scrubs a hand over his face and leans over the desk, brows furrowed. “God…wait, please don’t tell me that this hick town only has two cops,” he says, bracing himself for a yes.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Joyce scoffs, “we have three. But Officer Callahan is on leave in the Everglades.”

“Joyce, do you have any idea who could have done this?” Eddie asks. “Is there anything around, any cars you might’ve passed?”

“Not a clue,” Joyce says. “I didn’t see anything on my way over. No cars, no people, nothing.”

Well, that’s a non-starter. “Joyce, you should call over to Seymour or Madison. They could send someone over from their department,” Eddie suggests.

“I tried, but I can’t call anything but local numbers! Something’s wrong,” she says. “I’ll have to go there myself, let them know what’s going on, and bring help back with me.”

The 911 operator is going to skip town after a police deputy got killed? “But if you leave while there’s a murderer on the loose, who’s going to man the emergency line?” Eddie asks nervously, and Steve’s glad that they’re at least on the same page here.

Joyce sighs. “That’s…why I called. Steve, I’ve routed all 911 calls to come in to you,” she says, shaky but somehow determined.

Steve feels panic start to set in. “I’m a radio talk show host, Joyce,” he says, running a hand through his hair. “I talk to idiot people about their idiot ideas, I’m not a 911 operator! I’m not trained to handle a crisis! Why me?!”

“You might not be trained to handle a crisis, but you’re the only person with experience manning a phone line around here,” Joyce tells him. This town sucks. It’s empty. “You’re the only person even somewhat equipped for the job. Besides, there are lots of…transferable skills between the two! It’s, um—it’s like an interview, right? You ask questions to get information you can use, keep people talking, y’know? Guide the conversation, know when to jump in…”

It’s definitely optimistic of her, he’ll grant her that. “You do know that I’m so good at interviews they sent me from Chicago to Hawkins, right?” he asks her, sarcasm jumping out as a result of his ever-building panic.

Joyce sighs again. “So I’ve heard. But that doesn’t matter. And besides! There are two of you boys! You can talk to each other, discuss ideas, work together,” she tries. Steve supposes she has a point, but still. Unaware of the mental battle happening in Steve’s head at the moment, Joyce barrels on. “Hell, let’s have some on-the-job training right now. I have an emergency! I need to get an unconscious Chief Hopper out of that holding cell! It looks like whoever attacked him threw the keys into the cell after they locked the door.”

Steve massages his temples. “Uh, is there any way you can reach the keys?” he asks, and he realizes that it’s stupid to ask, because Joyce probably would have tried that by now.

“No. There aren’t any bars to the cell, and the door itself only has a food tray slot,” she says, and there’s a brief pause with a little sound of struggle intercutting it. “And that’s too narrow for me to reach through!”

“There’s gotta be another way in,” Eddie says.

Surely there isn’t just one set of keys, right? Yeah, granted, there’s only three—now two—police officers in Hawkins, and one of them is out of town, but… “There’s another set somewhere, right? I…you could check to see if Deputy Powell might’ve, uh, had a set,” Steve says, wincing, because he’s essentially just told this lady to search a dead body, but he’s not really sure she has another option.

“I didn’t see any at a glance, but…I didn’t really look up close. Hang on a second,” Joyce says, and there’s some shuffling. “Oh, God, I think I might be sick…sorry, Calvin. Just gonna turn you over, and—augh—please don’t stare at me, I…wait! That might be them! I think—I got the cell keys! Oh, thank God!”

Steve breathes out a sigh of relief. “Looks like Deputy Powell might’ve saved his Chief. Do the keys work, Joyce?” he asks.

There’s some footsteps, followed by metallic clanging, and then a delighted, slightly delirious laugh. “They do! They work! Give me a minute to figure this out. Hopper’s a big guy, I’m gonna see if I can’t get him on a chair to roll him out of here,” Joyce says. “I think I’m gonna need both hands for this, so I’ll be right back.”

Joyce goes silent. “So far so good, I guess. How are you, uh…handling this, Steve?” Eddie asks, all performativity long since dropped from his voice.

To be perfectly honest, Steve has no idea. He doesn’t know how he’s supposed to handle this, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to react, and, above all, he doesn’t know how he’s supposed to be feeling about all this. But, hey, apparently he’d done something right, given that Joyce had been able to open up the cell, and there probably won’t be too many calls this late at night with most people at home and in bed, so maybe it’ll be alright.

Steve takes a deep breath. “Well, y’know, that…seemed to go okay. Maybe Joyce was right, maybe we can handle the 911 calls tonight,” he says, cautiously optimistic.

“Yeah,” Eddie says, sounding encouraged, “yeah, maybe we can. I think you’re right. Though, I gotta say, I—well, I really hope this is the only call like this we get tonight.”

There’s not enough coffee in the world for this. “Same,” Steve says. “I can—”

“C’mon, Hop,” Joyce’s voice cuts in, and Steve’s immediately on high alert again, “work with me here, almost on your office chair—! There! Whew…we’ll head to my car in a minute. Uh, boys?”

“Hey, Joyce,” Steve greets.

“I’m back. Hopper’s still out cold. I’m gonna try and take him in the car with me to get help in Seymour. If the killer came back now, Hop would be a sitting duck,” Joyce says, a little on the shaky side.

As much as Steve hates the fact that there will be zero cops around, she has a point. For all they know, the only reason Powell’s killer had left Hopper alive had been to come back for him later on. “That’s a good idea,” Steve says. “We shouldn’t take any risks right now.”

“Thanks, Steve,” Joyce says. “You and Eddie just work together like you did earlier, alright? I believe in you, boys. Now, I’ll be back as soon as—”

She’s cut off by what sounds like a goddamn explosion, thankfully far-off. “Joyce, are you okay?!” Steve asks, because an explosion’s an explosion.

“My car’s on fire! Oh, shit!”

“What do you mean it’s on fire?!” Steve near-shouts, because holy hell.

“How the hell—did it just go up in smoke?! What happened?!” Eddie asks.

There’s a whistling noise, loud enough to be heard through the phone, and both Eddie and Joyce go silent. Steve blinks. It sounds like a person whistling, sure, but Joyce had said there’d been nobody else at the station, hadn’t she? And what’s that melody? It’s so familiar.

Steve hears a shaky breath, unsure of who it belongs to. “Wait…what? No—no way, this can’t…Steve, we have big trouble,” Joyce tells him.

“What’s happening? What’s that noise? It sounds like whistling,” Steve says.

“Whistling,” Eddie repeats, aghast. “It can’t be…”

As much as he understands the situation is dire, Steve really wishes someone would elaborate here. “Oh my God…I can see him, but…he’s dead, right? Right?!” Joyce demands, almost pleading. “But that mask—! How the hell is he…?”

“Who, Joyce? Who?!” Steve asks, feeling like a goddamn owl.

“The Whistling Man,” Joyce says.

What the hell? “The Whistling Man? Who’s that?” Steve asks, utterly lost. Eddie looks like he’s got his head in his hands in the silhouette in the window.

“He was a serial killer back in the fifties—wore that mask. But he’s dead!” Joyce explains.

“Oh, God,” Eddie mutters, “d’you think—do you think he attacked Powell and Hopper?”

An undead serial killer and a nonexistent police force do not sound like a combination that Steve wants any part of. “He’s coming this way,” Joyce whispers.

“Joyce, stay inside and lock the doors,” Steve tells her, and he can barely make out the jingling of keys and the sound of footsteps.

“Shit, we need a new plan! My car’s torched, we need to think!” Joyce pants.

Steve should just go with his gut, shouldn’t he? His gut’s not often wrong; he’s actually been told he’s better at acting before he thinks, rather than the other way around. “There should be police cruisers at the station, right? Take one of those!”

“Yes—yeah, that could work! Let me see if Hop has—lemme just reach into his pocket—yes! Got ’em! Keys for squad car three! I saw it parked out front when I got here!”

“Nice one, Steve,” Eddie says, sounding nervous but relieved. “Good thinking!”

This is the most stressful thing Steve’s ever done in his entire life.

“But—wait. How am I supposed to get us to the car? The Whistling Man’s right there!” Joyce says, and—shit, that’s true. It’s also not good.

Steve’s certain that one of the cops has to have a gun. But Joyce had said there were casings all around Powell. “Uh, Chief Hopper probably carries a gun, right? Could you use that?” he asks, because if Powell’s out of ammo, Hopper’s gun is their best bet.

“Hop’s gun is missing,” Joyce tells him, which Steve honestly should’ve seen coming. What kind of psycho masked murderer wouldn’t take away someone’s most lethal weapon before tossing them in a cell? There’s still some pounding in the background; the creep hasn’t let up on the knocking. “The Whistling Man must’ve done something with it. The gun next to Powell’s empty, too, I-I don’t…what do I do?”

Steve runs a hand through his hair. “Is—do you see any other weapons?”

“I didn’t see anything earlier, but let me check…oh! I’ll check Hop’s belt!” Joyce says, and there’s some rustling coming from the other end of the line. “Okay, it looks like he’s still got his baton, his pepper spray, and his taser. I can only hold one if I’m gonna drag him outside with me on that stupid wheelie chair. Which one should I take?”

The answer’s obvious, right? Baton’s not gonna incapacitate this guy if he’d knocked the chief of police unconscious, and he’s wearing a mask, so pepper spray isn’t gonna do shit, either. “Take the taser, Joyce,” Steve says, and his hands are shaking, because if this is the wrong thing to tell her, she might actually die, and it would be his fault. Shit.

“Okay, I’ve got it! Just gonna grab Hop and..wait. Do you hear that?” Joyce asks.

There’s nothing on the other end of the line except for Joyce’s breathing. “No…? I can’t hear anything,” Steve tells her.

“Exactly. It’s gone quiet. No more knocking.”

Steve leans away from the mic to swear under his breath, though it’s kind of a fruitless endeavor now. “Be careful. I don’t like that it’s gone so quiet,” he says. It reminds him of that stupid horror movie cliché, the whole it’s quiet, too quiet thing.

Joyce sighs. “Me neither. But it’s an opening, and I gotta take it,” she says. “Okay, Hop, c’mon, time to—whew—get moving—yep, okay, you gotta lay off the Eggos.”

“Are you sure about this, Joyce?” Eddie asks.

“No time like the present,” Joyce tells them, and she’s braver than Steve thinks he ever would be in her place. “Here we go. Again, you’re—Jesus, Hop, it’s like pushing a pile of bricks—you’re hooked into dispatch now, so I should be able to radio you when I get to the car. If I reach it…ugh. Speak to you soon!”

Steve swallows. “Good luck, Joyce.”

The dial tone is piercing.

“That is one brave woman,” Eddie says with a shaky laugh. Steve nods. For once in his life, in his career in radio, he kind of finds himself speechless. “God, I hope she makes it through this.”

“Me, too. Y’know, I’ve gotta say…this really wasn’t what I expected when I came into work today,” Steve says.

Eddie must sense the tension in his voice, because he opts for a joke. “Well, you know what they say, Stevie. Gotta be ready for anything and everything in live radio,” he says.

Steve quirks a smile. “Oh, yeah? Who’s ‘they?’” he teases.

“Um, you know…just…the people that say that,” Eddie says, faux-fumbling it, and it makes Steve laugh a little. The mood sours, though, because the blinking light above line one has returned. “Oh, I think we’ve got Joyce back on the line, I’m putting the call through!”

That was fast.

“Hello?! Steve? Eddie? This is Joyce, are you there?! Over!”

Uh…right. “We’re here, Joyce. So, I-I guess you made it to the car, then?” Steve asks. Then, he blinks. “Oh, um, over…?”

Joyce actually lets out a little laugh at that. “Sorry about the walkie-talkie chat—old habit, but—um, yeah, we made it to the car! Hop’s in the passenger seat, still out cold. I don’t see the Whistling Man anywhere, and I don’t plan to wait for him, so I’m gonna get us moving,” she says. Then, there’s a bang, and a gasp. “Jesus! Goddammit! Get back—get away from him!”

“Joyce! What’s happening?!” Steve asks, though he’s got a sneaking suspicion it’s the most obvious answer. Occam’s Razor and all that shit.

“It’s the—no! Get off him, you son of a bitch!” Joyce shouts, and the telltale sound of electricity crackles through Steve’s headphone speakers, followed by a heavy thud. “Yeah! Take that!”

Holy shit. “Joyce, drive!” Steve says, voice raised with panic and secondhand adrenaline.

“Don’t worry, Hop, we’re getting out of here,” Joyce says quietly.

The squeal of tires pierces Steve’s ears, and he winces. “Are you guys okay?” he asks, feeling more genuine concern for a lady he’s literally never met before than he has for anyone else in a long time.

Joyce laughs, breathy and disbelieving. “Steve, that taser…definitely the right call. Oh my God, I can’t believe we escaped,” she says, and she laughs again.

“Well done, Joyce,” Eddie says, more earnest than Steve’s ever heard him. “You saved Hop’s life. But, uh, I guess that’s just another day for you, right?”

“I guess so,” Joyce says softly, pretty humble for someone who just kicked a presumably undead serial killer’s ass, “but lemme tell you, I really prefer doing it from your side of the phone.”

Well, Steve can’t help but agree with her there. “Joyce, how long do you think it’s going to take to get help?” he asks, because if this happens again, he might just lose his damn mind. This is too much pressure for him. He’s an interview guy.

“Hawkins isn’t Nowheresville, but it’s pretty damn close. It’s gonna take a while—maybe two, three hours each way…?” Joyce guesses, and Steve rubs at his temples. “Slightly less if I really put the pedal to the metal.”

The promise of four to six hours of this sounds like it’s going to make tonight easily the worst night of Steve’s entire life. “We’ll…do our best to keep everyone safe until then,” he tells her.

“Thank you, Steve. Just…keep doing what you did just now, and Hawkins is gonna be okay,” she says, and it’s surprisingly comforting. “Anyway, once I’m in—oh! I think Hop’s starting to stir! Steve, Eddie, I gotta go. I’ll be out of range soon, but I’ll radio back as soon as I can.”

“Good luck out there,” Steve tells her. “Come back to us in one piece.”

“Good luck, Joyce! Feel better soon, Chief,” Eddie says, and the dial tone sounds once more.

That had been…insane. Easily the craziest thing to happen to Steve since he’d gotten to meet Madonna herself in the studio for a radio interview. “Well, you, uh—you heard it here first, folks,” Steve says, and there’s no point in keeping up his radio voice, really, but it’s just a habit now. “There’s a killer on the streets of Hawkins tonight. Please make sure to stay safe. And, Joyce, we’re counting on you.”

“No more dead air,” Eddie whispers, probably having muted his mic, and Steve nods.

“We’re gonna get back to the show in the meanwhile. If you have anything on your mind, or if you’ve got any information on this ‘Whistling Man’ guy, then give us a call at 555-239-KFAM, and we’ll talk here, on 189.16–The Scream.”

“For now,” Eddie says, performative voice right back on, “our lovely host will spin another hit record for you all to enjoy. Take it away, Steve.”

Steve swaps out SOS for a different record. “This is Gloria Gaynor’s I Will Survive,” he announces as he sets it to play.

“Pretty fitting, if I do say so myself,” Eddie says.

The ‘on air’ sign switches off as the music plays, and Steve breathes a sigh of relief.