#beetle hat hell yeah

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Okay, okay s/o being part of Itto's gang and Sara is constantly annoyed by the shenningans.

(Genshin Impact) Sara's S/O being part of Itto's gang

Sara regrets many things in her life. The people she wronged during the Vision Hunt Decree. The arrests she made.

And the biggest regret of all, falling in love with a dumbass of immeasurable magnitude.

Whenever they were with her alone, S/O was the sweetest person she had ever met.

They didn't care about who she was supposed to be, they loved her for her. Not as a general, or a daughter of the Kujou family, just Sara.

S/O was always so polite and courteous with her, never failing to put a smile on her face.

But the moment they were with Itto?

====

Sara had received news of a disturbance from the Arataki Gang, specifically demanding for her presence.

She showed up, ready to throw a couple of morons into a holding cell until she saw S/O alongside Itto, and 2 other members wearing-

(Sara) "By the Shogun, what the hell are you wearing?"

They were all wearing matching red and white striped uniforms, with fake mustaches and straw hats.

(S/O) "Back me up boys!" ahem "I may not always love youuuuu-~"

(Everyone) "BUT LONG AS THERE ARE STAAARS ABOVE YOUUUUU!

YOU NEVER NEEEEED TO DOUBT IIIIT!

I'LL MAKE YOU SO SURE ABOUT IIIIT!-"

(S/O) "-God-

(Itto) "-God-!"

(Everyone) "-GOD ONLY KNOWS WHAT I'D BEEEE, WITHOUT YOOOUUUU!~"

Their voices were completely out of harmony, and grating to the ears.

Worst of all, it was drawing attention, and everyone was beginning to connect the dots.

S/O had gotten the gang to provide backup vocals for a love song, for her.

(Sara) "Cease this racket at once, or I will throw you into the cells myself! This is a public area, you can't just start bursting into song like this!"

(S/O) "Aw, do you not like the song?-"

Sara shut her eyes as she felt her cheeks intensify in heat.

(Sara) "Do not change the subject on me, S/O!"

She had half a mind to smite them where they stood. Honestly, she was pretty close to doing so.

(Itto) "Ah come on, no one sings better than the Arataki Quartet! Right guys?"

(Arataki Gang Member 1) "Yeah!"

(Arataki Gang Member 2) "Dang right, boss!"

(S/O) "No one's better than us!"

====

S/O was involved in Beetle fighting, specifically making sure to call theirs "Sara" too.

If it wasn't for Shinobu's help, S/O and Itto would have been smacked upside the head by Sara more times than she could count.

And Archons above, S/O argues so loudly about her wings!

(S/O) "No, I won't let Sara make you fly off! Stop asking, man!"

(Itto) "Whaat?! Come on bro, just ONE flight is all I'm asking!"

(S/O) "Those wings are MINE! Back off!"

(Sara) "I'm standing right here! And they're mine, S/O."

(S/O) "Aw come on, I've seen you smile when you let me nap on your wi-"

(Sara) "S-SHUT UP! Don't go announcing that to the entire world!"

(Itto) "Bleh! TMI, nevermind, don't want it!"

Honestly, Sara has no idea how she fell in love with this idiot.

...But she couldn't deny that it did make her feel happy at times.

(Itto) "Goood, S/O never shuts up about you!"

(Shinobu) "Boss, not exactly a good idea to insult S/O to her face."

(Itto) "Psh, it's not exactly false either!"

(Sara) "R-Really?"

(Itto) "GOD yeah! They keep goin' on and on about how sweet you are, it's like, DUDE! I KNOW! YOU SAID IT LIKE, FIVE TIMES NOW!"

Sara lets a small smile escape her lips before clearing her throat.

(Sara) "Hmph. I'll talk to them."

(Itto) "Please do, I'm gonna jump off a cliff the next time they start gushing about you!"

Itto walked off, leaving Shinobu and Sara alone.

(Shinobu) "...So you're going to kill them for gushing aloud how much they love you, right?"

(Sara) "Probably."

Shinobu chuckled, her mask muffling her voice.

(Sara) "I just wish they could express their love in ways that didn't make my veins burst in anger."

(Shinobu) "Psh, we both know you secretly love it."

(Sara) "I do not."

[lylathewise]

Episode 4 first thoughts

I love the songs they play in order to cram as much exposition as possible, it's a really great move storytelling wise

Maddie, seriously?!?

Caitlyn could not look less enthused

Ok, so I am seeing Cait wanting ambessa to take the place of her mother

I love how Jinx looks so delighted with Isha, like I've never seen her look more happy

I kinda see a parallel between the scene with Jinx and Isha's beetles and Vi and Jinx making up monsters, except this time Isha won't ever be scared by this

I think Jinx will be a better parent than Silco was, not a high bat but still

She's being so forthcoming with Isha, it's so sweet

"You kind of remind me of her." What if I cried?

The handshake?!?

I'm on your bridge, Goatman, only thing I could think of when I saw him

Oh, they want hextech so bad it makes them look stupid

"Keep their name out of your mouth."😶

"How could I not secure the scientists?" Oof, not a good look

"She hides while you all suffer." Aww man, really poor choice of words

Waterbear grenades

The mirroring of Jinxs eyes over Caitlyns

"Fearless child, you never shy." I think Ambessa is trying to manipulate Caitlyn into seeing her as a mother figure

"Why is peace always the justification for violence?" Man, I just want to sit with that line

Stoking the embers of a dying fire as she talks about what's been lost

Is it just me or did Salo get a little fuckable? No? Just me?

Salo? Meeting singed? Weird

Not her forgetting she didn't have a middle finger 🤣

Man, mentioning both her father figures that she killed in practically the same breath 😬

I fucking knew it! If Jinx had a single true friend, none of this would have happened

I held my breath the entire time she was in Silco's office

That's... a different look than I'm used to seeing from Sevika

Please tell me they won't kill Sevika

Warwick is summoned by Singe's blood being spilled? That's pretty cool

3rd time Sevika has crawled to her boss with her arm fucked up

Singed is creepy as hell, but he do got grandfather vibes which I appreciate

Man, how must Vander feel seeing his old self?

That guard is bored out of his mind

THE FUCKING JINX READ?!?!

That guard can't even see her face and he wants to get freaky? Loser behaviour

Stillwater prison break? Please?

Sorry, Rictus knew that some random guy had blue hair under his hat, but Ambessa can't tell that the really scrawny Enforcer is weird?

Buncha cops are about to die? Oh nooooo

Cool, Ambessa does realize something is off. Still though..

The fear in her eyes, she's never had someone welcome her

The relief in her as she realizes she doesn't have to fear them

The underlying theme of the song Powder sang in the beginning

The hug 😊

Wait, Singed is planning to die in the prison? Neat

Warwick is genuinely terrifying

Isha is giving off some 'Frodo screaming Gandalf' vibes

Wait, Jinx is Gandalf and Warwick is the Balrog. That's really funny

Aww yeah, Vander remembers her designs

And again, the underlying Powder song

I was not expecting him to talk

[the-fiction-witch]

Long Drive

Media - The Queens Gambit Character - Benny Watts Couple - Benny X Reader Reader - y/n Rating - 18 + (In car touching/ hj) Word Count - 1823

Benny sat in his little blue beetle, having removed his hat and his trench coat. it was a long drive after all. he had to drive all the way home from the tournament in New Mexico all the way home to Brooklyn New York. Luckily he wasn't doing the drive completely alone, as he had Y/n with him.

Y/n was a fellow chess competitor, nowhere near Benny's level but still good in her own right. She lived in Brooklyn too having recently bought a house there. so instead of a flight back, she was road-tripping home with Benny. Y/n sat on the passenger side of the bench seat in his beetle wearing her high-waisted jeans and a button-up blue blouse. Her hair in the classic sixties curls with a headband. Passing the time by painting her nails with a deep purple-coloured polish.

Benny glanced over at her, his eyes leaving the road to view her painting her nails. Not that she even really noticed that he loved it. hell, he doesn’t think she even noticed he was looking at her nails. Benny took his eyes off of her and back on the road. After a few more minutes of driving he spoke up, “Ya gotta tell me somethin’.”

"Mhm?" Y/n asked in the middle of a session of drying blowing softly on her nails,

Benny reached towards the glove box grabbing a pack of cigarettes with his free hand. he stuck one in his mouth before rolling down the window and igniting it with a single strike of a match. He took a few deep inhales before exhaling the smoke out the window and turning to look at her again. “What’s your type?”

"In what?" She asked, “Chess styles?”

Benny chuckled and shook his head. he took another inhale of the cigarette before throwing it out the window, “Not chess styles, I mean men. like what kind of guys do you look for?”

She laughed taking the cigarette from him to take a drag herself "I don't know… Always thought nerds were cute. Those adorable little chess club boys who call you miss. You show a nerd boy attention he'll love you forever."

Benny chuckled at the response and rolled his eyes, shaking his head at her. “Nerds? really? you do know all chess players are nerds right?”

"Exactly. Why do you think I got into it? Fun what to pick up cute boys in high school and just stick with it." She smiled handing the cigarette back, "I must have taken every virginity in that class club in high school…"

Benny laughed took the cigarette back and took another long puff. “Damn, and I was not invited?”

"I don't know, you were probably off doing all your chess tournaments." She laughed, "and I went to Rochester you went to Petersfield"

Benny nodded and took another puff from the cigarette. he blew the smoke and smiled as he looked back at her, “Yeah… you probably right. I was a cocky little bastard back then. hell I still am now but I was worse. I was too busy beating everybody instead of going to meet a cute girl like you.”

"I don't think you'd have liked me then."

Benny shrugged and took another puff from the smoke before putting it out. “Why not? a pretty girl like you. I'm sure I would’ve been all over ya.”

"I don't it. I wasn't this pretty then."

Benny raised an eyebrow

“What? What do you mean “not this pretty”? you ugly duckling back then or something?” he knew that wasn’t true but he teased her anyway

"Yep, chubby. Acne. Greasy hair. Proper little horror show. The one saving grace that got me all the chess boys was my enormous for my age tits."

Benny laughed at her response. she seemed like she was joking but you could also see in her eyes she meant it. “And what made you change? did some pretty little boy come along and change your heart or something?”

she shrugged "no, I matured. Found good shampoo, figured out make-up, stopped eating a whole pack of crackers before bed every day." She laughed "figured myself out and I think I'm pretty settled now." She nodded doing another coat on her nails,

“Yeah, you are pretty” Benny chuckled as he kept staring at her intently, “How come you still aren’t taken? a pretty little thing like you.”

"I think boys find me Intimidating"

Benny chuckled, clearly not believing that “Intimidating? you? bullshit. guys might be nervous around you but there’s no way they find you ‘intimidating’ they probably think you’re outta their league is what it is”

"maybe. I don't care. I have a vibrator what do I need men for."

Benny raised his eyebrow and chuckled in response. he reached and grabbed at the cigarette pack and opened it, sticking another cigarette while smirking at her “Oh do you now?”

"yep." She nodded

Benny took another long puff from the cigarette before speaking again, “And how often you use it?”

"…every other day I guess"

Benny nodded and smirked as he took another puff from the cigarette, and looking back at the road “So you’re saying you only use that thing once every two days”

"yeah? Why?"

“Nothing… just a little surprised is all” he took another puff from his cigarette and exhaled “I would’ve assumed you’d use it more than that”

"oh? Why? You got a little flashlight you use three times a day?"

“What if I told you I don’t use one?”

"oh? What then just your hand? Or you got a bunch of girlies in New York you call up to come jump on your cock?"

Benny chuckled and took the last puff of the cigarette before tossing it out the window. he looked at her and smirked again as he spoke “Nope. nothing like that either…” he laughed, “…I just go without…”

"Seriously?"

“Seriously… why are you surprised?”

"Kinda… When was the last time you fucked something?"

“It’s been six months since I had sex…”

"god damn!" She laughed, "awwwwww poor benny."

“Oh shut up” he said jokingly,

"and the last time you… You know?"

Benny glanced over at her again and smirked. he took a moment before giving an answer “Been over a year for that one…”

"a year!" She laughed "Come on you've got to be doing it in your sleep or something at this point"

“No I’m serious. it’s been a year since I’ve did that too”

"you must be so frustrated"

“Eh… I suppose so… but I’m a big boy, I can control my urges”

"Can you?" She laughed "What happens when you get hard? All men get randomly hard Benny"

“Yeah… I guess I do get hard… I just control it… it’s all about self-discipline. I have chess to worry about.”

she rolled her eyes and finished with her nails "Sounds boring"

Benny chuckled and glanced over at her again, a smirk on his face, “And using that toy every two days isn’t boring?”

"nope. It's amazing. And I mix it up I have other toys."

Benny chuckled, hearing that she had other toys definitely peaked his interest “Oh really now? How many toys do you have?”

"….Hu…. Lost track."

Benny chuckled at her response, he wasn’t expecting that answer but was intrigued… he glanced at her again, his smirk still on his face “Damn that many huh?”

she nodded

“I’d love to see that collection sometime”

"You're welcome to come over and see it. Feel free to borrow something if you want"

Benny chuckled and looked at her, his smirk growing as he glanced over at her and spoke again “Oh yeah? You going to let me play with your toys love?”

"Sure." She shrugged

“You know I’m gonna hold you to that right?”

"fine. So long as you let me watch."

“You wanna watch me play with your toys huh?” he smirked, “Is that your idea of a good time love?”

"Indeed it is." She smirked checking her nails were dry, and then getting a sly smile, she slid over moving across the bench seat so her leg was against Benny's. "hi Benjamin…" She cooed

Benny chuckled and looked down at her laying her head on his shoulder. he couldn’t say that he disliked the feeling… but hearing his full first name was annoying as hell, especially in that tone she had said it in, “You know I hate it when you call me that love”

"oh, I know." She nodded her hand slipping across his thigh

Benny felt a shiver run down his spine as her hand moved across his thigh, but still tried to keep his composure. he looked at her, raising an eyebrow as he spoke again, “And you’re doing it anyway”

"Indeed I am." She smirked squeezing his crotch,

Benny bit back a moan as he felt her hand on his crotch. it’d been so long since someone had touched him like that… but he couldn’t let her know that… he had to keep his composure “Yeah? And why is that love?”

"because it frustrates and annoys you." Y/n smirked purposely rubbing and stroking through his jeans,

Benny grunted, feeling her rubbing and stroking him through his jeans. it felt good… but he wasn’t gonna let her win so easily, “Yeah? And you get off on pissing me off?”

"no, but I think you do." She whispered kissing his cheek as she felt him harden into her hand so she began to get faster knowing it was working.

Benny bit his lip as she started to get faster. he was trying to concentrate on the road… but that was getting more difficult as she continued, “Yeah? And what makes you say that love?”

"the fact that I can feel how hard you are getting."

Benny grunted in response, “Yeah? You like that? Like feeling how hard you’re making me?”

"mhm" she nodded picking a spot on his neck to form a hickey

Benny bit back a moan again, feeling her hickey on his neck, he struggled to keep his composure, trying to keep focus on the road “You’re enjoying this way too much love…”

"Well it's a long drive back home. I have to find some toy to entertain myself." She whispered her fingers toying with his belt,

Benny grunted softly as her hand played with his belt, he was struggling to stay focused on the road. he looked over at her with a smirk, “So you going to entertain yourself by teasing me the whole drive love?”

"I might." She smirked

Benny chuckled in response, he thought about stopping her… but the feeling of her hand on him felt too damn good, “You’re going to make it very difficult to drive safely with you touching me like that love…”

"Hummm… Then pull over." She smirked undoing his belt and jeans slipping her hand in purposely not grabbing him stroking around teasingly "Now where's that nice hard cock then?"

Benny groaned “You’re going to be the death of me love…” Benny pulled the car off to the side of the road, in a secluded spot. he looked at her and smirked before speaking “You asked for this love…”

"did I?" She giggled,

Benny chuckled and leaned in closer to her, his smirk still on his face “Yeah… you did, you naughty little thing” he growled pulling her into a kiss,

[tsuki-sennin]

Now, for episodes 17-19 of the funny king bug sword people show!

Uhhhh... Racules is a big meanie, there's somebody behind the Fury of the Gods, Gira is living out my fantasies with Yanma, shit's goin' DOWN!

Yeah, that's where I'm at right now, Spoilers, I guess~!

-Yanma, I wouldn't say he sold himself out, I'd wager he's about to do the biggest rugpull of all time.

-"Goddammit, Gira! At least wait for me!"

-Ohhhh, somebody's comin'.

-Daigorg!

-That's like the most Sentai villain name ever, I love it.

-Why you gotta do it, huh?

-Jeremy's gonna have some very cross words with you, Racules.

-Gira's regicidal tendencies are getting a bit much for the prez.

-Yeah he definitely gets it... he just doesn't wanna.

-Put him in the back.

-"I'm doing great, Yanma-dono~! ...can't say the same about you though, huh?"

-Shifty, therefore reliable.

-Lord Kaguragi's about to have himself a naptime

-Rita, honey, you're always on top of things, huh?

-"Peace~! Yippeeeee~!"

-"I will defend our world..."

-Glory to King Racules!

-Oh hey buddy!

-Daigorg!

-Oh... must be one hell of a man.

-"Relax man, I'm here. What is it?"

-This is the guy. Daigorg, the... hoo, big beetle.

-Holy shit

-Racules, you have some serious balls to just

-Dismiss all that.

-The die is cast.

-"I see this as an absolute win~!"

-Morphonia arrives!

-...and Jeremy's in no mood to play along.

-"This is the worst plot twist I've ever read. Please put me in jail."

-RITA JLKHL>L

-I don't know why, but that got me

-Together, we'll be stronger.

-I too am a fan of Kamen Rider Dragon Knight.

-Chris my beloved

-Spiders Jeremy is back in the building!

-King Ohger!

-Oh!

-Here it all is!

-Going all the way out!

-"Now... stick to my perfect script~!"

-Um yeah, we have some notes. On page 2 she's eating peanuts, but later she's wearing a hat. Does that make sense?

-If you get that reference, I love you.

-"I am the protagonist! Me, me, me!"

-King Racules has arrived!

-"How dare you betray me?"

-Get him.

-Dawn comes with the shogun, his scarlet eye burning on his cruel, dark blue face. Amidst the rubble of N'Kosopa's concrete, Emperor Desnarak's Champion stood. Resplendent in silver armor that rings out with a dull clank every step he takes, he glares at the President and Storyteller. In his right hand, he held up a curious weapon. Not quite a scythe, not quite a pick-axe, but a freakish middleman, with what seemed to be orange fungus coating the metal just below the head. He did not move an inch when he was fired upon.

-There he is. Daigorg.

-A SONIC BOOM

-Okay!

-Oh, they're right fucked up.

-Holy shit

-Racules stopped him.

-He cursed Racules, he glared at Racules, he despised Racules with all his might. But that could never change the fact that Yanma was at the man's mercy.

-So they just left Gira there the whole time?

-Yanma...

-His ideals, unwavering even in the face of his own death.

-I see not even the people of Shugoddam are willing to turn a blind eye any longer.

-President Yanma Gast. The man Gira, King of Evil stands with.

-Get this man an IV.

-Oh hey, Racules~! That was a very good evil laugh you did there, quite impressive.

-"This kingdom is all mine! So you vanish!"

-Oh shit, upgrade time.

-"That's my boy, Gira! Masterful rigamarole! Perfect reveal!"

-Oh shit, Ohkuwagata time.

-"Back off. I'll deal with him."

-Holy shit, Racules is good.

-CROWN

-"Ohgai Busou. Glory of the founder."

-He's real shiny.

-Ohger! Crown Lance!

-That is a cool weapon.

-Is Racules seriously gonna mop the floor with this guy before he even does anything substantial.

-Oh, no, he's just gonna put Little Brother in his place.

-"The only needed for evil to triumph is for good men to do nothing. ...carrying the Bugnarok isn't something I should have to do, but..."

-Jeremist.

-They didn't show this, but there was a montage of Jeremy carrying him across the bridge with Eyes On Me from FFVIII playing in the background. Can't believe they cut that out, smh

-"I'm here to put Racules in jail."

-SELF-DEFENSE, OKAY SURE DOUGA

-"That was awesome! What's that crown thing, anyhow?"

-Kaguragi absolutely wants to wear that crown himself. ...can't blame him at all, tbh.

-"I'm outta here, see youuuuu~!"

-...Oh do you now~?

-Ahhh, left out a crucial detail. Smart.

-"Ugh... I'm gong to tell Desnarak."

-KURODA-SAN

-And their twin!

-Sneaky~!

-"This gives me absolutely horrendous hives in unspeakable areas to admit, but it is necessary for us to go outside the law for this one."

-Dyed your hair again, huh Himeno?

-Racules's cool new toy available on Premium Bandai looks nothing like the crown in the flashback. ...is this perhaps another one of his deceptions?

-If only Kaguragi were around to make things easier... well, as easier as it can get with him around.

-Nooooooo, Jeremyyyyy!

-He's having himself a Mondo Moment.

-"Oooooh~! A secret~?"

-Gira's a very guileless man at heart.

-Even Kaguragi can't help but admire.

-Instant fail sneak.

-Must be playing Extreme Mode.

-"Get his ass."

-Ah, Suzume-san.

-"I must see him driven before us."

-Playing a real Lady Macbeth.

-Kabutomushi~!

-Giiiiiiiii!

-Gii-chan has returned.

-Giiiiii~! Giiiiii~!

-Kagura-giiiiii!

-Suzume????

-Did she trick us into... helping us?

-HOW'D YOU GET IN THERE

-Kaguragi Dybowski. What japes he performs.

-He wanted to ride the cool robot.

-"How long have you tricked me...? How long have you been cheating on me!?"

-Literal chicanery.

-Gira-donoooo~!

-"King Gira! It is time for your grand coronation!"

-King! King! King! King! King!

-Rejoice, rejoice to the heavens above! Gira Husty, forgotten younger Prince of Shugoddam, ascended as the King of Evil hellbent to end the wicked justice. He has come into his own once more. He is now the great King Kuwagata Ohger!

-...which means that Racules's version was called King Ohkuwagata Ohger.

-That's like three kings in one.

-Extreme King-Ohger!

-Well, Jeremy had the right idea! Can't exactly force it, you know?

-God has descended.

-"I didn't do a damn thing! He just... did that!"

-Let's goooo!

-Oh...

-Big Brother Racules... you've truly lost your way.

-"The rules of this world mean nothing... not compared to the people in it!"

-Long Live the King.

-Racules has truly lost it all.

-Here's Jimmy.

-The Sanagim roam the streets.

-Ohhhhh

-Makin' it all official, eh?

-Kaguragi played the game far harder than anyone else.

-"The Bugnarok are your neighbors now. Deal with it."

-"Ow, my every place."

-All for the people, Yanma~! Don't take it personally, yo.

-Treaty Time.

-...incidentally, that's what Rita (allegedly reluctantly) allows Morphonia to call her taking them to McDonald's.

-Still absolutely in love with Zenryoku King, it's just so infectious.

-It's all right, you're King~!

-Awww, Kuwagon :)

-Jeremy has completely checked out.

-"I hate Racules :("

-Becoming friends?

-Suzume's gotten in over her head, it seems.

-Do something, Douga!

-It's almost pitiful seeing Racules's vassals all driven before Desnarak.

-He can hardly be considered a king, anymore. Just a beetle captured to fight for somebody else's amusement.

-Guess Racules's confidence took a hit. He effortlessly dodged Daigorg in his base form, and now he gets clocked by a single guard.

-I see the people's lives have gotten a little worse.

-Gira's home!

-Koga-neesan...

-Headpat.

-Please help us, Prince Gira!

-He's here for us...

-Peak

-Despair! Always with the prolonged suffering.

-Stand up on that green screen, beetle man!

-Throw that sword!

-Lucky~!

-THE AUDACITY OF THIS BITCH-

-"C-c'mon, man, I was just kidding~! You wouldn't hurt a little guy, would you? :3"

-Bang~!

-"Et tu, Jeremy?!"

-A taste of his own medicine.

-"Yanma!"

-Dude

-Seriously?

-Okay, that was hella worth it.

-Didn't take Mama Nephila for a prankster.

-DOVE

-Racules has well and truly lost.

-They gather~!

-International cooperation~!

-A new power forms.

-The Ohsama Sentai... King-Ohger!

-Ohgai Busou!

-King of Kings~!

-Right, no more delay~! Let's see these arthropods swarm~!

-Hehehehehhe

-"Death Penalty."

-This is the good shit right here. Just pure vibes.

-Diamond Dan has no swag.

-Immortal, invincible tyrant king!

-You are! I am! We are the we are the King Ohger~!

-A man of the people, that King Gira.

-"Okaaaaay~! Well, Desnarak-sama, I can see that we're clearly losing, how about we just ditch Diamond Dan and head-"

-Complete Combination, once more!

-Extreme King-Ohger!

-"Jeremy's got this one, don't worry."

-Six kings all at once!

-Hooray~!

-So... I suppose all that's left is to meet with Racules.

-I see Gokkan does things Hammurabi style.

-Oh!

-One final duel. It seems fitting to end things this way.

-Two Kings Enter, One King Leaves.

-That'll have to wait until next time though, hmm~? I have a lot of overdue art to reblog!

[booksrbetterthanpeople]

For the Actor AU, how did they feel abt the canon heroes' outfits? If they could, how would they have modified them?

Marinette: Basic as fuck! It looks like I’m wearing footie pajamas! If I were in charge of my costume, I’d give myself a full-on punk look because Ladybug’s are some badass motherfuckers. Oh, and boots that have soles equipped with a shock-absorbing cushion, and a heel that contains a reinforced spring to soften the shock whenever I land. And… Maybe a backpack shaped like ladybug wings to hold my Lucky Charms and anything I need to collect for my plan.

Adrien: Less leather! That stuff shrinks, and a full leather bodysuit is not comfortable. Also, because of the cat holders’ powers, it would be cool if heroes had some sort of medical supplies on them just in case, like stored in a utility belt. And I’m with Mari, those boots sound badass. What else?… Oh, definitely add some more color instead of just basic black.

Alya: Well, the Fox doesn’t seem like a combative hero due to the powers. I see Rena Rouge as a distraction, really, so her outfit wouldn’t be one of those “ready for battle” types. Here’s what I’m thinking, one of those noir-film type outfits. The hat covers my face a bit to give me an air of mystery, and the outfit would look almost casual that no villain would suspect me.

Nino: I mean… Carapace’s look is cool. It’s alright. I’m liking the goggles, but… I’d prefer if he had armor. He’s the fucking turtle hero! He should be ready to take any blow that a villain sends his way!

Rose: Where to begin? Look, you all know me; I love pink more than the next guy, but… Sometimes too much is too much. The Pig Miraculous strikes me as… More farmhand than ballerina. Yee, I know, the heroes come with a tambourine, but come on! While I do love the skirt, I’d trade it in for overalls, either shorts or a skirt. Oh, and add some black in there, too. Daizzi has a black circle around his eye, let him be represented!

Juleka: Studded jacket. That is all.

Luka: Oh, honey, either give me a hood so I can look like a cobra or get the fuck away from me with that outfit.

Myléne: The mouse strikes me as more of the elegant type, I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s the pastel pink mixed with the grey, but I see Polymouse wearing skirts over Pigella. But, that’s just my opinion.

Ivan: Honestly, I’m fine with the canon design for Minotaurox. Yeah, he’s got pockets and padding, I-I like it. And if you show me a better design, I’ll happily take a look at it.

Marc: … I think all of the effort went into making Rooster Bold’s costume. He’s got rooster hair, the little tallons on the back of his boots, and a fucking tailcoat! He and Mayura are the only ones to have tailcoats! I’m not complaining, though. I… I actually like it, but it is a nightmare putting on and taking off that wig.

Nathaniel: Well, I can say I sort of know how some of the girls feel, because that suit was tight as hell! You could see my hip dip! Also, I would’ve liked to have a different hairstyle and maybe some color, because I am the only male redhead around for miles. Oh, and climbing boots becuase, I’m a goat, duh.

Alix: … Do I need to say it? Okay, give me some active wear! I’m traveling through a shit ton of different timelines! I need someone sporty and active when I’m on the go. Also, I’ll need a backpack like Marinette.

Kim: Not hearing any complaints from me! I liked Roi Singe, but being Scarlet Beetle is way cooler!

Max: The glasses can easily come off. What I need is a high collar or a bandana that can cover the lower half of my face in case my glasses become askew or someone is able to place my identity because all I have on my face are some stupid glasses! God, I’m so glad I’m doing this new show now.

Chloé: Oh, I just want wings.

Zoé: Same.

Sabrina: Can mine just not look like my clothes, please?! I’ll take whatever, just not that!

Kagami: I would prefer if I had some form of armor and not a spandex bodysuit. It would need to be lightweight but also durable to allow me to travel faster, of course.

[real-jaune-isms]

It’s Robin’s Birthday! How Does the Swordsman Celebrate It?

Nami: So, what are you going to get her?~

Zoro: What? Get who? Why?

Nami: Robin! It’s her birthday on Monday!

Zoro: Oh. I dunno, guess I’ll find a book at a store or something?

Nami: It can’t just be that boring, birthday gifts should have meaning, show how much you care in a way that’s special to you!

Zoro: Have you been talking to Luffy? You’re way more worked up over this than I expected… What are you getting her, then?

Nami: I found her a dress with a nice floral pattern, AND I bought her a new cowboy hat!

Zoro: She hasn’t worn hats like that since Sabaody…

Nami: Yeah, but she looks nice in them and clearly she likes them a lot. Now get to work on a gift that only you can give, don’t just steal my idea! *walks away*

Zoro: Hmmm…

*That Monday, Chopper’s kept Robin busy in the library while the others put their gifts on the kitchen table. Sanji of course baked the cake, with a pattern in the frosting like her favorite flower. Luffy found a fossil of a beetle, and since it’s really old he’s sure she’ll like it. The other gifts are similarly thoughtful, most wrapped as best as the crew can manage, but lying across the table there also sits the Wado Ichimonji. As Sanji’s finishing setting the table, he sees it and grimaces before tossing it in the corner of the room*

Sanji: Damn mosshead leaving his stupid swords on the table like this, he knows full well what we’re trying to do here… ALRIGHT IT’S READY!!

*At the sound of his yell the rest of the crew gathers in the kitchen, Chopper sitting on Robin’s shoulder and covering her eyes once they safely get to the doorway so she won’t see the gifts yet.*

Nami: Alright, you can look… NOW!

Robin: *casually lifts Chopper off of her and blinks a couple times to let her eyes adjust to the light* Oh my!~

Everyone(at varying volumes): Happy Birthday, Robin!!

Robin: You all did this… for me?

Luffy: Shishishi!!! Of course we did! We wanna celebrate our nakama! So let’s have a party! Oh, and we all gotcha gifts!

Nami: *looking over the pile* Except Zoro, apparently. I’m ashamed of you, Zoro!! I told you to get her something so long ago!!

Sanji: You’re seriously disrespecting Robin-chan this much, you asshole?!?! I should kill you!

Zoro: What the… I did have a gift for her! Where the hell is it, it was right here on the table with the other stuff?!

Sanji: the only thing you left on the table was your stupid sword, marimo!

Zoro: THAT WAS THE GIFT, DIPSHIT!!

*everyone is stunned*

Sanji: You what?… What did you say?…

Zoro: I said I’m giving her my sword. *finds it in the corner, then turns and presents it to a speechless Robin* Happy Birthday.

Robin: Z-Zoro-kun… this is your oldest sword, the one that belonged to your deceased friend, I thought you treasured it?

Zoro: I do. So I’m showing how much you mean to me… by trusting you with it.

Robin: Zoro…~ I can’t accept that, you need it to achieve your dream. But I’m so honored that you’d want to do this, so I’ll take a different present instead.

Zoro: And that would b- MMMMMPH!!!~

Robin: *pulls him into a kiss, much to Sanji’s fury and Luffy’s confusion*

[cozy-possum]

Love Death and Robots ‘Season’ 3

Overall thoughts (spoiler free) and per episode (spoilers) below the cut

Overall:

Much preferred the varied visuals to the second season, it felt like there was so much obvious cgi/3d stuff in the second one many blended together. Each of the stories were interesting and captivating in their own way. I enjoyed bringing back the robots from series one. The soundtrack for all the shorts was really good

Trigger warnings: 

Three robots (dead bodies, dried blood, doomsday prepers)

Bad Travelling: Blood, gore, dead bodies, mutilation, murder, vomit

The Very pulse of the machine: Gore, dead body, blood, hallucinations, unreality, space

Night of the mini dead: sex, blood, zombies, death, war, nuclear threat

Kill team Kill: nuditiy, war, guns/weapons, blood, dead bodies

Swarm: Aliens, bugs (bug like aliens mostly beetle-esque) trypophobia, sex, body horror, blood, gore, vomit

Mason’s rats: Rats, guns, war, blood, dead bodies (rats) flashing lights (lasers) alcohol

In Vaulted Halls Entombed: war, guns/weapons, fighting, spider/bugs, gore, blood, body horror

Jibaro: Unreality, blood, violence, drowning, screaming/distorted sounds, reching/gagging, death, assault, gore

Three Robots: Exit Strategies: I enjoyed the tour around the various survival attempts of humans in the post-apocalyptic world. The humor and little digs at humans was cute and clever, a few of them could have been left off. Love how that one robot kept switching his hat. I also enjoyed how Elena clearly wasn’t as aware enough to know they were other robots. ‘Democratic cannibalism’ that’s an interesting concept, did they have reports on who was doing the best/worst? would it have gone farther than the secretary of Agriculture? Why is this US based, would love to see them going to other parts of the world at some point

Bad Travelling: Very visibly dark, made it hard to focus on the short. Enjoyed that the ‘monster’ was a big crab, it makes sense for it being in the ocean, can all of them speak like the one on the ship? I really liked the animation for this one. While very obvious cgi/3d it felt similar to the Secret wars from season one. Okay the little baby thanopods were cute. Did enjoy the twists of everyone voting x and Torrin blowing up the ship at the end really interesting.

The Very pulse of the machine: Not a huge fan of the people animation it looked like someone was trying to go for the ‘comic book’ angle but the lines felt too thin combined with the 3d made it look bulbous, the backgrounds and the elctromagnetic/hallucinations are beautiful. So they’re on Io one of Jupiter’s moons, it looks pretty cool. I do enjoy Martha casually arguing with Burton to start the ‘hallucination’ part. Relly enjoyed the ending and the surreal visuals they added.

Night of the mini dead: okay hands down fav episode, I have a weakness for minatures IS THIS A MODEL RAILWAY/TOWN IM GONNA DIE HAPPY NOW, the hockey scene made me cry laughing, in fact this whole short did, the little high pitched helium voices got me THE POPEMOBILE!!!!! the garbage truck zombie killer, ahh toxic waste zombies niceeeee; not the penguins 😭

Kill team Kill: Like the animation style, enjoyed the idea of the terminator grizzly bear, maars-bot is great it’s like stabby on steroids, it was an okay action short, the animation style is what saved it for me, not very interesting otherwise

Swarm:  Ooo centuar aliens they look soft, like a peach. The animation is that hyper realiztic 3d/cgi which I’m not a fan of for humans. I do love a good swarm/hivemind concept, and i’m digging the various alien species seen so far, also hell yeah space fungi!! Not surprised that the swarm took over a human, similar to the thanopod from Bad Travelling, fun horror concept; “intelligence is not a winning survival trait” thats a raw ass quote my dude

Mason’s rats: If Chicken Run and the Rats of NIMH were squashed together but Scottish and with a slightly ‘happier’ ending than i was expecting (well i saw the twist but nice to know it happened) really enjoyable and cute premise and ending

In Vaulted Halls Entombed: more hyper realistic cgi/3d, still not my fav for humans; feeling very generic war/action scene with like ‘spooky elder god’ to mix things up; digging the little spider things, the little faces they had was a cool touch, didn’t really care for the whole “elder god brings vision of end of world thing”

Jibaro: Visually chaotic, there’s a lot going on, cgi and sharp movements and shaky cam all gave me a headache, the cgi of the people got a little too distorted (although I suppose thats the point) the fashion was cool though, although I felt it could have been far shorter, i liked the twist of him gaining his hearing back as a punishment of sorts for what he’d done

[bunny9girl]

The monster trio Destroying their s/o Nest !

{The idea of the trio destroying their omega's nest was really funny to begin with}

Warning: None, well there is slightly little bit if bad language

Monkey D.Luffy 🍖🍖🍖

🍖Luffy didn't know what happened

🍖One minute he was care freely running around than the next he tripped landing on a pile of clothes blankets and stuff animals .ect

🍖In all honesty he didn't think much of it, I mean it just clothes...

🍖But No!

🍖This dumb meat brain picks it up stuffing the items into whatever drawer or closet he could find, thinking he did a good "clean up" duty.

🍖And just runs off to continue playing with Usopp and Chopper.

🍖Later on when you return with Sanji from the local market that the Sunny is currently dock at.

🍖"Thanks for the help, (Y/n)." Sanji said as he and placed down the groceries in the kitchen.

🍖"No prop." You smiled leaving the cook to his work, the blond gleefully started cooking for dinner knowing he has a lot to do.

🍖With Luffy on the crew he won't just be feeding one person more like an army in fact.

🍖(Y/n) left as they walked back on deck feeling the warm air and relaxing atmosphere around them it was all quite but all good things must come to an end.

🍖"Hey, (Y/n) check out this beetle it's as big as my hand look look!" (Y/n) turned seeing their captain, (Y/n)'s alpha their bonded mate.

🍖Luffy happily ran to his omega wanting to show them the bug which they flinch at, (Y/n) despised insects just as much as Nami and Sanji does so naturally they back up a little away from their lovingly childish alpha

🍖"No thanks Luffy but I'm going to take a nap."

🍖"Yeah! Than I'll take one with you." Luffy jumped around excited to spend time with his s/o.

🍖Placing the bug down rush after his omega following them down to a specific room below deck.

🍖When (Y/n) open the door they seemed a little confused thinking they must have walked into the wrong room.

🍖No this is the right room

🍖What happened ? It's all gone!!!

🍖An omega's Nest usually a place where an omega can be comfortable, whether if they are in heat or just having a bad day.

🍖But where's (Y/n) nest?

🍖"Luffy where i-is my n-nest?" (Y/n) questioned pointing at the empty room infront of them tears building up into their eyes body trembling as they point to the "missing nest" looking over their shoulder at Luffy who seemed confused.

🍖The alpha could scent that their omega is in distress and anger.

🍖"Nest? Huh?... All that was in there was a blankets and pillows what nest?"

🍖"Luffy what happened to my nest?" At this point Luffy's s/o was in full blown tears sobbing and whimpering.

🍖"(Y/n) I don't know what you're saying? All I did was clean up you know being grown up like you said." Luffy laughed being clueless like always.

🍖"Luffy you idiot!" (Y/n) yelled slamming the door in Luffy's face.

🍖Don't worry he didn't stay clueless forever, Nami saw the he thing go down.

🍖Gave him a hell of a beating.

🍖Afterwards explains to him what he did wrong in the most simplest way possible to screw it through his thick head.

🍖(Y/n) with a tears stain face and a sad look quietly took out blankets and pillows where every they could find some scenting a few stuff animals, working on repairing thier nest little whimpers leaving thier lips everytime the fortress flops apart.

🍖Soft knocks traveled from the door catching (Y/n) attention.

🍖"hey~" Luffy's head peaks through a purr leaving his mouth as he tries to lighten the situation and calming his omega.

🍖"What?" (Y/n) says wanting to sound mean but it came off more of a sob.

🍖"Sorry. My omega." Luffy placed his strawhat onto (Y/n) head it was filled with his scent calming down the sad omega, the hat (Y/n) wore many times before Luffy wouldn't easily let others wear it, other than those who he trusts with all his heart.

🍖"I'll help you." Luffy sat down on his knees next to (Y/n) taking up a few pillows into his arrms

🍖"Thank, you Alpha." (Y/n) wrapped their arms around Luffy's neck taking in a long breath of his scent.

🍖"Can, can you also scent a few things, please."

🍖"Yeah!"😃

🍖"And I'll start with you!"😚

🍖"W-what?!"😳

Roronoa Zoro ⚔⚔⚔

⚔Yes Zoro knows what nesting is

⚔The only way he knew was when his s/o direactly came up to him and told him.

⚔He didn't mind he secretly thought it was cute, rare to see such a adorable omega, his omega crawled into their nest looking all comfy and happy.

⚔But over time he started missing clothes, he just shrugged it off, not really caring cause he knows you have been sneaking some of his stuff into your nest.

⚔Like every omega they want their alpha's scent near them for comfort emotional times or during heat.

⚔He couldn't care less

⚔but he'd still scent anything you ask, he would even do it when you don't ask.

⚔But there's one thing (Y/n) wanted more than any piece of Zoro's clothes in their nest

⚔Zoro's haramaki.

⚔It was hard for them too just go up and ask him for it, he'd say no cause he usually carrying his swords with it.

⚔So all they could do was steal it when the marimo was in the shower.

⚔It was successful!

⚔The green haired swordsman, Alpha didn't noticed it was missing till he tried placing his swords in thier place but instead dropped to the ground though to the missing Haramaki that was not around his hips.

⚔At first he thought he must have misplaced it.

⚔He even ended up looking in the laundry room but no luck.

⚔Until his omega that means the whole world to him came to his mind, you must have seen it right?

⚔At first you denied it, "No. I haven't? Last I saw it you were wearing it." (Y/n) try their best to keep Zoro's off their tail and laying to your alpha feels like your betraying them.

⚔Somehow he ended up looking in your nest, he felt bad about invading your privacy but he has to have his Haramaki back he just gotta.

⚔But it was also weird that (Y/n) stop asking for stuff to be scent or being scented themselves.

⚔Zoro dig through the tent like nest pulling out blankets and throwing pillows out.

⚔Found It! His precious Haramaki.

⚔"Why would (Y/n) lay?" Zoro mumble to himself putting the Piece of clothes back on.

⚔"No! Stop destroying my nest!" A voice yelled at the alpha from behind as he was tackled to the ground.

⚔"Why did you had to find it this soon, I was going to give it back later." (Y/n) pouted giving Zoro puppy eyes tugging at the material around his hips.

⚔"So you took it, you know it's not good lay to you alpha, little omega~" Zoro smirked in quick movement pinning his omega down beneath him sitting in between their legs.

⚔"Bad Boy/Girl~ but why my Haramaki?" Zoro purred sending shivers down your spine the omega in you turned on by your dominant alpha, just hovering over you.

⚔"I wanted something... you use everyday."

⚔"mmmh~"

⚔"Well I'm going to have to punish you, I skipped too many training and napping sessions looking for this."

⚔"Wait, alpha-" (Y/n) was shut up before they could finish as the alpha above took them right there and then...

⚔Next thing you took was his bandana😏

Sanji Vinsmoke 🚬🚬🚬

🚬Sanji loves your nest, his in there everytime when you allowed it made him feel so special. Because he is. He is your alpha mate duh. especially when you have your heat😏

🚬Butttttttt now his currently in a huge crisis.

🚬how did it happen... well...

🚬A while ago he finished making some delicious tropical drinks for the ladies and yours is made the best of the best.

🚬He made it exactly to your liking with every thought of you in mind, it made his alpha very pleasing to serve you.

🚬Despite what genders his omega is or how they met, he'd be on his hands and knees giving you all he has.

🚬He happily bouncing into the room where his omega's nest was built.

🚬"Look what daddy brought you my pup~" Sanji sang kneeling down to the nest opening the cover looking in the nest like tent.

🚬His smile dropped when his s/o was nowhere to be seen, thinking you must have left for the bathroom or something?

🚬"Oh well."

🚬Suddenly the ship rocked, a wave or one of Luffy's stupid doings.

🚬.... That was the least of his worries...

🚬The drink slipped from the tray spilling into (Y/n) nest!!!!

🚬😱!!!!!!!!!!!😱

🚬This was the end of him.

🚬That bring us to how he ended up in this situation to begin with.

🚬"No no no no no no !!!" Sanji panic pulling out the wet blankets and pillows with some of his shirts or pants.

🚬You just recently gave him free access at anytime to be in your nest, after this your not going to near your nest in his life time again

🚬He broke your trusts

🚬He shattered his nesting fantasies

🚬Its all down the drain

🚬is what he currently felt like while pulling all the wet stuff out.

🚬At some point the blanket he was pulling got stuck so he pulled harder bringing down the hole nest came crashing down.

🚬Now his fucked.

🚬Sinking to his weak knees as he tears drip from his eyes he got to an ugly sobbing, and his scent change to a gloomy disgusting scent one that he doubt you would want to be scented in.

🚬And worst of all fear of you declining a bond between the two of you.

🚬...

🚬(Y/n) opened the door immediately catching the sight of their alpha on the floor kneeling infront of the door his forehead though the floor boards.

🚬"Daddy, what happened?" You looked at your destroyed nest behind him and his scent made you hold you nose shutting it tightly for the first time, glance back down at the blonde, worried and confused.

🚬"Icameintogiveyoudrinkthanshipmovelostbalancedroppeddrinkonnesttridetockeanbutmadeitworstpleasedontleavemeilldoanything!!!!!!"

🚬"Huh?" (Y/n) titled their head to the side not getting anything he said, kneeling down on front of him, "Its okay, I can just fix the nest stop crying, is okay alpha." (Y/n) purred letting off a relaxing soft and sweet scent as he cooled him down his nerves stopped sky rocketing.

🚬Rubbing his back helped and your soft caring loving words lighten his atmosphere and his hopes.

🚬"Pup~"

🚬"Yes, daddy?~"

🚬"Sorry."

🚬"it's okay I'd never hate you for something that wasn't your fault, is fine your honest with me and tried to make it all better."

🚬"My pup~" Sanji yelled his mood completely turned squeezing the daylights out of his s/o

🚬"But you not allow in my nest for the next 2 weeks."

🚬*Sanji Instantly cried again*😭😭😭

[allisondraste]

Cockroaches and Other Things That Just Keep On Living

Fandom: Mass Effect

Ship: Female Shepard/Garrus Vakarian

Word Count: 4019

Summary: It's only been two weeks since the Reaper War ended, and the Alliance is already trying to bury Shepard.

[Click Here for A03]

Two weeks.  It had only been two weeks since the war ended, since that devastating flash of red light burst from the Citadel and bounced off every active relay in the galaxy, since the Reapers fell dead in space and the Normandy crash landed on some tropical little human colony world just on the edge of the Terminus Systems.  It had just been two weeks, but the Alliance and the rest of the whole damn galaxy were already willing to declare Shepard dead.  And to add insult to injury, they’d  given Garrus the great honor and privilege of hanging her name up on a memorial wall in some trite ceremony to make the crew feel better.

“There isn’t anyone who could’ve been at the epicenter of that blast and survived,” Hackett had explained, far too matter-of-factly. “It’s time for us to move forward.”

“Shepard isn’t just anyone,” Garrus had replied, and then promptly told the admiral where to shove his plaque. It was not his finest moment.

Now, he sat in the mess hall, alone and staring down at the dextro-amino rations he’d barely touched. The bastardized version of some overly seasoned human dish would have been unappetizing even if he had an appetite. But he didn’t.  Something about the person he loved being declared dead left a sour taste in his mouth.  He’d only even tried to eat because Liara insisted, and he wasn’t in the mood for another well meant lecture about taking care of himself.

No longer willing to bother, he shoved the plate away from him with the back of his hand, and looked up in just enough time to catch Williams walk past him.  She stopped, performed a proper about-face and marched up to his table.

“Hey,” Ash greeted him like she’d never spoken to him before in her life.

“Hey,” Garrus replied and watched as she shifted uncomfortably and darted her eyes around the entire room before meeting his gaze.

She motioned to an empty seat across the table from him. “Can I— I mean, do you want some company? You just look—”

“Like I’m one news vid about the ‘late’ Commander Shepard away from going postal?” He let out a derisive snort. “Yeah.”

Williams smirked and  eased herself down onto the bench without waiting for him to agree to her company. “I was going to say ‘like shit,’ but that works too.”

He answered her dryly. “Gee. Thanks.”

There was a pause in conversation, then Ash tilted her head in that sympathetic way every human who knew him seemed to do since Earth. “Seriously though… how are you holding up?”

I’m not , Garrus thought, but the words didn’t make it to his mouth, just sarcasm.. “Didn’t realize you cared… or is this just one of those human things where you pretend to care for my benefit?”

She leaned back and raised an eyebrow. “Do I seem like the kind of person who pretends to do anything for anyone’s benefit, especially yours?”

He laughed. “Fair.”

“Listen, this is off the record but… Hackett had that mouthful coming.” She laughed and shook her head. “I’m just glad it was you that said it and not me because, well, I like my job.”

If anyone had told Garrus that one day, he’d have a heart-to-heart with the human woman who’d spent their entire first mission together shooting daggers at him from across Normandy’s shuttle bay, he’d have said they were crazy.  But there they were, raw from the absence of someone who meant so much to the both of them.

“It’s been two weeks,” he muttered, looking down at his hands. “ Two. They haven’t even found her bod—“ he tried and failed to choke back the lump in his throat,  but continued talking anyway, glancing up at her— “It’s too damn soon, Ash.”

“I know,” came her firm reply as she reached across the table.  She hesitated for a split second, but then let her hand fall on top of his.  Deep brown eyes welled up with tears that she tried to blink away.  She let out a frustrated huff as one rolled down her cheek anyway, then cleared her throat.  “ Damn. Pretend this isn’t happening.” “Pretend what isn’t happening, Williams?”

“Perfect,” she remarked, wiping her face with the heel of her free hand and laughing. “Kind of hard to believe it’s only been three years since we tracked down Saren.  Feels like a lifetime ago.”

“And look at us now, being mostly civil,” he said with a sigh, staring down at Ash’s hand.  Alien as it was, it reminded him of Shepard’s, strong to be as small as it was, with too many fingers.  He recalled the many times those fingers had traced the hard edges of his face, how that hand had fit so comfortably into his (after a few clumsy attempts, of course).  He’d take another missile to the face to hold it again.

“You know, Shepard worked her ass off to convince me it’d be fine having aliens on board an Alliance vessel,” Ash observed playfully, pulling him from his thoughts.

“You? Paranoid over a handful of non-humans? I’m shocked .”

“Nothing personal,” she explained,“Just didn’t feel comfortable sharing a station with a guy whose grandpa probably shot at mine during the War.”

“Hate to break it to you but—” he leaned back in his seat— “My grandfather was just a run of the mill C-Sec officer.  All he would have done was write your grandfather a nasty citation. ‘Being human in Citadel space,’ used to be a finable offense.”

“God,” she said with another laugh, “Back then, I rolled my eyes and told Shepard I’d do whatever she wanted me to do. ‘You tell me to jump, I ask how high.  You tell me to kiss a turian, I’ll ask which cheek.’”

“We don’t really have cheeks,” Garrus corrected, laughing when Ash shot him a pointed look, “But that’s beside the point.  I’m guessing Shepard never followed through with that order.”

“No, she told me, and I quote, ‘Nobody’s going to be kissing any turians on this mission, Ash,’” she said in her best Shepard impression, then muttered, “Fucking liar.”

“Well, to her credit, I don’t think she planned on me being so… irresistable.”

Ash snorted and rolled her eyes. “Okay, ladykiller .”

There was another pause in conversation, and her expression fell.  She looked down to where her hand still lay on his. “Back then, I just assumed you’d jump ship as soon as things got rocky, as soon as we— as Shepard — really needed you, but…” She trailed off, grip tightening around his hand.  “You never let her down, not once.  Not even when I—”

“You didn’t let her down, Ash,” he argued, sensing where she was headed, “She never thought that.”

“Yeah, well I do,” she snapped, words clipped, “I should have seen the signs that Cerberus had her pinned down, but I let my ego get in the way.  I’m surprised she wanted anything to do with me after that.”

“You’re not the only one who has ever screwed up trying to do the right thing,” he reassured her, “Shepard, of all people, understood that.”

“That’s… you’re probably right,” she nodded and looked up at him, “Thanks. And for whatever it’s worth, I’m sorry.”

“Uh, sorry for what?”

“For ever believing you weren’t an important part of the crew,” she stated seriously, then smiled, “And for calling you birdbrain  behind your back.”

Garrus’ mandibles flared in amusement, and he gave her hand a few friendly pats. “No harm done,” he said, then paused for a beat, “Besides, you didn’t hear what I said behind your back.”

One of her eyebrows shot up. “You talked shit about me?”

“So much.”

“Whoa, whoa, wait a minute,” shouted a familiar voice from across the mess, causing them both to snap their heads toward the sound. “Somebody get this heartwarming moment on camera.”

Ash stiffened, retracting her hand quickly and stuffing it under the table. “Joker.”

“Hey, Joker.” Garrus waved. “How are you doing?”

“Fine,” he answered, words pointed. “You know, aside from the soul-crushing agony of my girlfriend dying. ”

Garrus had spent enough time around humans to know that the Flight Lieutenant looked rough, even for someone who’d never cared about keeping up appearances.  His eyes were red, the skin underneath dark enough that even the shadow cast from his hat couldn’t disguise the lack of sleep. He made his way unsteadily to the table and sat down next to Williams.

Garrus opened his mouth, preparing to speak, to express sympathy, but Joker cut him off. “And before you start with any of that ‘I understand how you feel’ crap— no you don’t.  Everyone knows you can’t say Shepard’s dead until we’ve ID’d the body.  Maybe not even then. She just keeps living… like a cockroach. ”

“You know you could just say, ‘I’m not doing so hot,” right?” Ash scolded him,  but there was still a softness to her voice. “You don’t have to be an ass about it.”

“Yeah, but see… being an ass is way more my style.”

The table went completely quiet as Joker crossed his arms over his chest and scowled, tension palpable enough it might as well have had mass.  Not one for tolerating awkward silences, Garrus ventured a question. “What the hell is a cockroach?”

Ash smiled, clearly thankful for the change in subject, and began to explain. “They’re these—“

“ Beetles ,” Joker cut her off, “Big, disgusting ones that are supposed to be able to survive extreme conditions other organics can’t.”

“Sounds about right,” Garrus admitted with a shrug.

The pilot flinched and glared at him. “Wait. I called Shepard a disgusting beetle and you’re just okay with that?”

“Are you kidding? Why wouldn’t I be,” he asked sarcastically, “It actually explains why she kept molting. ”

“You’re having fun. Stop it,” Joker whined, scowl deepening, “Stop having fun!”

Garrus laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “This isn’t exactly my idea of fun. My cockroach is missing.”

Joking though he was, his words were honest, something Joker must have detected.  His expression softened even as he puffed his chest out. He deflated immediately as another familiar voice called out, likely interrupting whatever barrage of barbs he’d prepared to hurl at Garrus. This time, it was Vega who strutted over to the table carrying an entire fifth of some sort of human liquor.  Cortez trailed solemnly behind him, examining the rectangular objects in his hands.

“Yo, don’t tell me the party started without us,” shouted Vega, setting the alcohol down on the table with a loud clank , pointing a thumb back at Cortez, “Esteban here took forever polishing the name plaques.”

Garrus stiffened at the mention of the plaques, knowing full and well there had been one commissioned with Shepard’s name on it despite all his protests. Turned out, the Alliance brass didn’t give a damn about some loud mouth former C-Sec officer or his feelings after all. He just hoped none of the humans were able to read the pain in his expression— a hope that was in vain if the sympathetic glance Cortez gave him was any indication.

“What’s that for?” Ashley pointed to the bottle of amber liquid Vega sat on the table.

“What do you think,” Vega asked, as if his intentions should have been completely clear, “I’m going to pour one out for the commander.”

“All over the Normandy's floor?” She raised her brows at him.

“Nah.” He gave her a dismissive wave. “Just down the sink or somethin’.”

She picked the bottle up and examined the label more closely. “But…this is expensive stuff, James.”

“Don’t care,” came Vega’s indignant response, “It’s for Lola.”

Ashley gave him a solemn nod, seeming to understand whatever peculiar human tradition he was planning to perform. Satisfied, Vega turned his attention to Joker, snagging his cap, flipping it around, and placing it down on his head backwards. Joker cursed and grumbled, calling Vega a bully among other things, but Vega just smiled and walked over to Garrus, giving him a supportive clap on the shoulder.

Slowly, the rest of the crew began to filter in, each with their own expressions of concern.  Traynor and Tali arrived together, deep in conversation if the emphatic hand gestures were any indication.  They both quieted as they arrived at the table, Traynor frowning and bowing her head, whileTali approached and slid comfortably  into the seat next to Garrus.

She looked down at the uneaten food and back up at him, giving him a nudge with her elbow and complaining. “You are wasting all of the good dextro rations.”

“Good? Oh, come on,  we both know it’s garbage.”

“Well… yes, but it’s digestible garbage,” she said, holding a finger up to make her point.  Her voice softened when she continued. “And you’ve hardly eaten anything the past few days.”

He sighed and looked down at the rations. “Yeah.”

Tali observed him for a second, eyes glowing behind her helmet. She then grabbed his plate and slid it toward him. “Eat up, Vakarian. Or else I will have to feed you myself… with a spoon I am pretending is the Normandy.”

Garrus let out a laugh despite himself. “I don’t think that’ll work, Tali.”

“You don’t know that.  You haven’t heard my engine noises.”  She laughed along with him for a few seconds, then grew quiet once again and gave him a gentle pat on the back. “The Alliance is going to feel very silly when Shepard gets back and they have to explain why they hung her name up on the wall and sold her hamster.”

“ If she makes it back this time.”

“She will,” Tali asserted, voice cracking, “She has to.”

It was Javik who entered next, voice booming in a debate with Liara, who had taken it upon herself to explain human customs for memorializing the dead. He shook his head and ignored her entirely, stating that if he wished for a history lesson, he would ask for one.  He then snapped his many-eyed gaze to Garrus.

“You should not be saddened about Shepard’s fate, Garrus.  She died with great honor.”

Liara let out an exasperated sigh, and sat down in one of the empty seats at the next table over, bringing her hand to her face.

“What is it, asari?” Javik snapped, “Honor in death is something turians hold in high regard, is it not? This should be a great comfort to him.”

“Perhaps with time,” Liara explained,”But right now it is… insensitive.”

“It’s nothing my dad hasn’t already told me a dozen times,” Garrus stated flatly, “I appreciate the sentiment.”

Weird that a fifty-thousand year-old Prothean reminded him of his dad.  Then again, Castis Vakarian was as about as traditional as turians came, and they butted heads on almost every subject, including but not limited to: Garrus’ disregard for rules, his decision to leave C-Sec—twice, his “risk- and attention-seeking” behavior, and his “absurd infatuation with a human woman”. Their relationship had always been strained, to say the least. Still, he had always been there when Garrus needed him, and listened when it mattered. He was the first call Garrus made from the medbay after the Reapers were destroyed, when he realized Shepard might not be coming back.

He’d been sympathetic, but not even remotely comforting, not unlike Javik was at present. Garrus just didn’t have it in him to explain to either how little he cared about the honorable nature of her sacrifice, the high esteem the galaxy now held her in, or the way history would remember her. None of that mattered when she wasn’t at his side.  How could he be proud, when all he felt was empty?

Once all parties arrived and settled in, the group spent time talking and sharing memories. The Alliance crew members all told stories about encounters with Admiral Anderson, how he more often felt like a parent than a commanding officer, and how his reputation was so much larger than his ego. Traynor did most of the talking about EDI, their friendship, and how seamlessly she’d fit into the crew, how easy it had been to forget she was an AI. Joker just pulled the bill of his cap down to cover his eyes.  Then, the reminiscence moved to the commander.

Every single person present had a story about Shepard, about how she went above and beyond the call of duty to help them, and to make sure they were taken care of while aboard the Normandy.  Shepard had always taken time to check in with the people who worked for her, even when the galaxy was falling apart and herself along with it.  She was a good leader, arguably the best, and an even better friend.  It was clear that everyone in the room admired her, and that she was missed.

Garrus knew he should say something, tell one of the many stories of the trouble he and Shepard had gotten into together. The others all watched him expectantly as he scrambled for words.

“I—“ he began, but was interrupted by the buzzing of his omni-tool, followed by several bright flashes of light. He cursed and pulled up the interface to silence the damn thing.  An urgent message alert flashed on his screen, and he tapped the icon to open it.

From: Dr. Chloe Michel

Subject: Jane Doe

Dear Garrus,

I hope this email reaches you, and that you are still alive to read it.  I am on the Citadel working with an emergency medical unit out of what is left of  Huerta Memorial. The blast from the Crucible caused some severe structural damage near the epicenter, and we have been searching the area to find and identify survivors and remains.

There is a Jane Doe here, who I believe you might know. Please contact me on a private channel whenever you are able.

Take Care,

Chloe

His heart sank like lead into his gut as he read what could only be a request to come in and identify a corpse.  The space around him was suddenly too full, too loud, and the curious eyes of his companions lingered on him for far longer than comfortable. He tapped the display on his omni-tool once again to close it, glancing around the room from one set of eyes to another.

“It’s nothing,” he lied. The truth would only cause unnecessary alarm he wasn’t equipped to handle at the moment.  He stood abruptly, a jolt of pain coursing through his leg that was still recovering from a fracture, and excused himself. “Just need to make a quick call.”

“Now,” Liara asked, frowning, “But the memorial ceremony was just about to begin.”

“So start without me,” he snapped and made his way to the main battery.  He’d apologize later, when his world wasn’t caving in.

The battery doors shut behind him with a familiar hiss and he sank down into his seat next to the workbench where his favorite rifle lay surrounded by tools and unused thermal clips. It had taken a beating in the battle on Earth, and Garrus had poured over repairing it in the days following its end.  He hadn’t touched it since.  There were no more enemies to fight, and the gun just reminded him of Shepard.

Bringing up his omni-tool once again, Garrus established a link using the information Michel provided him.  He only waited a second or two before a voice on the other end picked up.

“Garrus,” exclaimed the woman, “I am so glad you received my message.”

“About that Jane Doe,” he began, cutting straight to the chase, “I— do you need me to identify the b— her ?”

“No… it is Commander Shepard,” she explained, “I am absolutely certain.”

“ Oh, ” Garrus said with the breath he’d been holding.  He was glad he was already sitting down, as the last shreds of hope he’d been clinging to slipped from his grasp leaving him dizzy and sick.  It was Shepard.  She was dead. There was nothing to be done about it.

He took a minute to collect himself and his thoughts, cleared his throat and told the doctor, “I, uh…I’m not really sure how to— I mean, I guess I should make funeral arrangements. That’d be better than letting the Alliance—“

“Garrus,” Michel interjected firmly, “She’s alive.”

“ What,” he asked, more loudly than he’d intended.  Hoping nobody had overheard outside, he lowered his voice and continued, “I mean, how is she? What’s her condition? Is she going to—”

“I won’t lie to you,” the doctor interrupted again, “Her injuries are serious, and she has been comatose since we found her.  Still, her vitals are strong and stable at present. She is a fighter.”

“She is.”

The line was silent for a beat then Michel spoke up again.  “I had a wonder… Shepard’s body has, ehm… extensive cybernetic modification. More extensive than I have seen. We are not certain how, or if it is even possible to repair all of the damage.”

One name came immediately to mind. “Miranda Lawson.”

“Pardon?”

“You need to contact Miranda Lawson,” Garrus clarified,  “She is an ex-Cerberus operative, the scientist responsible for Shepard’s upgrades. And a friend. She will be able to help. I can send you her contact information.”

“Good, yes. I will contact her immediately,” Michel replied, relief noticeable in her voice. She then sighed and said, “I apologize for sending such a vague email.  I am realizing now that it was likely… anxiety provoking. I simply did not wish for the wrong people to find out about Shepard’s survival.”

Garrus huffed, “Yeah, if the media caught wind of this, it’d be a circus.”

“That is what I feared,” she agreed with a sigh, “Besides, I thought you should be the first to see her. I know she is important to you.”

“Thank you, doc. For everything.”

“It is the very least I can do.  I owe my life to the both of you. Twice over, now it would seem:”

“I’ll get to the Citadel as soon as I can.”

“Talk to you then.”

The call ended with a beep and Garrus shut off his omni-tool display, staring blankly at the wall on the opposite side of the room for several minutes, attempting to recover from the emotional whiplash the last half hour had given him.  He took a deep breath, rose to his feet, and headed back out to the mess hall.

All eyes turned to him as he made his way toward the memorial wall just outside the elevator.  EDI’s and Anderson’s names had already been placed, tears already shed. Now they looked to Garrus, Cortez approaching with the name plaque meant to commemorate Shepard’s death. He took the polished silver plate and examined it, light glinting off its corners as he stepped up to the wall.  For a long moment he traced the letters of a name that had come to mean so much to him, to those crowded in the narrow hallway around him, to the hundreds of thousands who’d cheered from ships in the massive fleet she’d rallied and led to victory, and to the billions of lives she’d saved across the galaxy.  Shepard deserved so much more than a name on a wall.

And now, just maybe, she could have it.

Garrus would have preferred to keep  Shepard’s survival to himself, to snag her from the hospital and elope to some secluded tropical paradise where nobody could ask anything of either of them again, except “Would you like a refill on that incredibly alcoholic beverage?” But he knew he couldn’t do that.  After all, he was not the only one who loved her.

Lowering the plaque, he turned to face the others, all of whom looked at him with a mix of confusion and concern.  He glanced down at Shepard’s name again, mandibles flaring out reflexively as relief and excitement swelled in his chest.

“They found her.  They found Shepard,” he told them, bringing his eyes to meet their gazes as he spoke. “She’s alive.”

[astringofmadhousefloozies]

Hobbies and Holidays, Or The Halloween Fic

Yes, I know it’s June. I just like Halloween, man. Yuu’s quiet dedication to the finest of holidays sours when confronted with assholes who fuck around for clout.

Contains coarse language, attempted violence, sexuality and nerds being nerds. As always, if you enjoyed it or have any questions, let me know! I like talking with people.

~*~*~*~

"What's cooking?" Ace, cheery as could be, walked his way up towards your set up on the Ramshackle front lawn. "Is it curry? I hope it's curry."

"You might not want to stand downwind." You poked at the bubbling mess on the propane stove, sweat rolling down your back. A beautiful August day, perfect for your project. This sure as hell wasn't something you wanted to do indoors.

"Whaddya mean by that?" The breeze shifted towards him, and he turned an impressive shade of green, stumbling back with his nose covered. "What's in there?"

"Mice. I told you to keep upwind." You went in with a hand strainer, and scooped a pile of tiny bones onto a ratty towel.

"Why are you boiling mice?" 

You mirrored his are-you-goddamned-stupid-or-something face back at him. "I wanted the bones. I went to Sam, but he said he's not allowed to order in dermestid beetles after last time, so I gotta do it the old-fashioned way."

"That's absolutely disgusting,” her said, the disgust and disbelief plain on his face.

"Don't we all know. Grimm fucked right off when the ghosts showed me the mouse graveyard."

"And your first thought at a pile of rotten mice was 'ooo, free bones' like some kinda crazy necromancer?"

"Yup." You scooped out another pile of bones. If you left them in there too long, they'd simply dissolve like in a cooked fish. As it was, you'd have to find a way to strengthen them. Maybe dip them in resin?

"Why am I your friend, again?"

"Because you feel responsible for me."

"Yeah. And you're fun when you aren't being weird and doing shit like taking cemetery pictures."

"I'll stop taking the pictures when I stop finding good grave iconography."

"Yeah, weird. I'm going to leave you to be a gross little maggot by yourself today."

"I'm not eating them."

"They're stewing in a pot."

"To get the meat off!"

"Yeah, whatever. See you at supper. I hope you don't stink."

"We'll find out, won't we?" you muttered, sotto voce, but he was already gone.

~*~*~*~

It was a beautiful day in September, and you heard him far before he knew you had. When you turned to look at Idia, floss wound around your fingers, he started. "Is my stealth that bad?"

You gave him the ghost of a smile. "You're not as quiet as you think you are." He hasn't cottoned on that you can hear what's in his headphones, if they aren't set just right on his head, and you aren't about to tell him. The face he makes when you pick him out so easily was too good to lose.

He nodded, fidgeted, looked at the spread on the table. "What are you doing?"

"Well, she's got to dry. So I'm working on this pattern until the top coat goes on."

'She' was a currently eyeless, disembodied head, that you'd picked up along with her body in a second hand store for a pittance. You'd unstrung her, scrubbed her clean, and now were putting on a face to match her sweet if imperious expression, a bratty princess of a girl in miniature. You hadn't realized you'd liked dolls until you'd seen her. But, when you had, your breath fled your throat in the same way it had only once since coming here.

He looked, but knew better than to touch. He did a little bit of craft work himself, mostly model painting, and wasn't about to muss your hard work. "She's... nice?" He didn't quite get the appeal, despite having two vinyl dolls you knew of stowed carefully in their packages under his bed. When you'd asked, he just muttered that they were anime characters and didn't come out except for photos because something something collectibles something resale value. Boys.

"I could do better. But it's enough. Thank you for letting me borrow the painting set up."

"Y... welcome." He squinted at the embroidery, finally noticing something. "Are those bones?"

In the center of each withered, poisonous blossom in your embroidery hoop, you'd stitched a tiny vertebra to serve as the center. "Yeah?"

"Why?"

"Why not?"

He wasn't ready to push it any further. "If you want..." He hesitated, and stumbled, and you waited until he just brought out his tablet to tap it out on a screen instead. "You can come do that in Board Game Club, if you want. There's a window. Azul shouldn't mind."

"I'll join you after I gear up and put the sealant on her. Thank you for inviting me." You gave him your best, most dazzling smile. "You know how much I like when you include me in your stuff. I know it's not always easy for you; how shy you are and all."

He squeaked and looked away, and you continued. "I should be there in about an hour. Make sure Azul doesn't keep up trying to wager me in chess. I can't fucking play worth a damn and he knows it."

He smirked. "He likes easy marks. Maybe try and get goo-"

You flicked a bone at him, and it hit him square on the nose as he yelped.

~*~*~*~

Welcome, October. Coolness and colour, a certain something on the breeze that felt like a home you'd never let go. Even if it hadn't quite hit the dorms the same way as they main area of the school. (Those little fairies that ran the weather machine didn't seem to believe in seasons for the dorms, or perhaps Crowley gave them a chewing out after the spring?) In amongst the Heartslabyul roses, you'd think it was still summer, and you weren't one to let a day of warmth go.

"Oh, in this chapel of ritual, smells of dead human sacrifices from the altar..."

"Stop that."

You looked up at Riddle, who'd found you in your secluded corner. "Why?"

"You can't sing and the lyrics are awful."

"Is there a rule against that?"

He nodded. "The queen gets to approve all music."

"Ah, of course, mine rosen liege. My petaled monarch. Emperor Rosa." A collar appeared on your neck, and you did not slow down. "Cardiac Sovereign. Dauphine De la Coeur. I can do this all day, Riddle; that collar don't do shit cause I ain't magic."

The colour was high on his cheeks. "Is it your job to annoy me?"

"Oh, you got me. I wake up and spend every moment thinking 'How do I best piss off Riddle Roseheart? How about I stand outside his door and blast nightcore from a boombox?' "

He narrowed his eyes at you. "Stop joking."

You laughed. "Yeah. I only do that with Shoenheit."

That managed to get a bit of a smile out of him. "Why are you being a pest over here, and not at your own dorm?"

"I'm just doing crafts, man."

"While sitting on the grass."

"Yeah, man. Won't be any grass to sit on soon enough. Made sure to not be on the croquet grounds or anything."

He looked at the mess of foam and ribbon around you. "What are you even doing?"

You looked down, and back up at him. "Crafts?"

"More specifically, before I kick you out for being awful."

You held up a padded frame, that you were carefully wrapping a satin ribbon around the many bars of it. "What does that look like?"

He just glared instead of admitting he didn't know, so you got to your feet and held the frame over your chest, the shape clarifying by being pressed over what it mimicked. "It's ribs. It'll tie on with more ribbon. Might put beads and stuff on it too."

He looked for a beat before nodding. "For later this month?"

"Indeed."

"... Continue, then. But be quiet!" 

He was nice enough to remove the collar before he left, but not nice enough to leave it off as soon as you resumed singing to yourself once you'd assumed he was out of earshot.

~*~*~*~

"Hey, Lil?”

"Yeah?"

You looked over the riot of cheery pumpkins and Far East aesthetics that had sprung from your lawn. "You should've asked me, first."

Lil smiled at you. "But then you would have said no."

"I wouldn't have. But," you guestured to the papier mache dragon, "Really, my dude? This isn't what I would have picked at all. I'm not going to match."

"You're working on a costume? Already?" He lit up. "What's it going to be?"

"You'll see."

"Do I get a costume?"

You looked down at your not-cat. "Grimm, I didn't think you'd want one."

"I do now!" He scrambled to your shoulder and tugged at your hair, wailing. "Costume! Costume!"

You rolled your eyes. "Stop that, before I sell you to Lil to practice recipes on."

~*~*~*~

Grimm was no help. He changed his mind every few minutes on what he wanted. At least your incorporeal roommates were a sweet help, finally gearing him up with a hat by the beginning of the week.

"Do you still need one, Yuu?" The middling ghost, the one neither plump nor skeletal, seemed concerned.

"No, babe. I've been working on this since..." August, you think. "I'm good. I hope I can get a week out of it. I could at least do a different face each day."

Realization dawned across his face. "That's what that was for? I see. I guess you won't need..."

Oh, he made you a costume. Layers and layers of rotten gauze from the curtains, a spindrift take on the bedsheet ghost. 

"Hey, I can use this, don't worry. Can you stoke the fire? I've got to dye this to match, I'll need some water boiled."

~*~*~*~

There's too many fucking people. You don't know any of them, they're loud, and they cram in wherever you need to go. But their fussing over you, their asking for pictures is nice. If only...

"Hey, are you lost, kid?" You lean down and reach a hand out to a fearful-looking six-year-old. "I can help you find someone who can help?"

He promptly burst into tears and collided into Floyd as he ran away.

"Hey there itty bitty. You need an adult? Hold on." Even with Floyd... being Floyd, he was a hell of a more welcome sight to the kid, and soon had him balanced on a shoulder to yell for his parents. "Who's under all that?"

"Your favourite shrimp, you overgrown string bean."

Floyd make an o of surprise and flicked the veil up. "It is you under all that! See, kid, She's not scary. She's pretty."

The kid simply eyed him dubiously before going back to trying to wave his parents down to get away from these lunatics.

All your hard work paid off beautifully. A mass of bones, beads and decay, a beautifully jeweled skeleton crowned with a fine halo of gold-and-bone spines and dried flowers. You rattled gently with every step, eyes staring out from a painted skull. They only thing you regretted was Riddle catching you earlier. Even if he hadn't intentionally steered it that way himself, everyone would assume you'd intentionally went to match Heartslabyul. Even more, now that you'd turned those curtains into a veil, even if you'd stuck all the bone and garnet drops you could onto the edges.

"Thank you, Floyd." You leaned up towards the kid. "Didn't mean to scare you, little darling."

The kid just stared at you in fear, and fortunately his parents came along to claim him, leaving you and Floyd by yourself.

"Shrimpie~" He'd scooped you up to replace the kid in his arms before you could protest. "You're so cute like this! Let's go to the alchemy room."

"What's in the alchemy room, Floyd." At this point you were used to him just... hauling you wherever. And you’d found that if you went along with the lighter end of it, he took you seriously when you said no. Weirdo he was, he'd at least gathered that you'd hang out willingly if he didn't push it.

"Oh, well you look so nice! You'll look much nicer in the water tube than the dummy we have in there."

"There are several reasons that can't work, Floyd. Least of it is I only breathe air."

"You're a ghost right now, you don't breathe at all."

"This outfit would not survive a dunking. I'm not sure it'll last the week if I don't repair it every night."

He kept smiling at you. "Even better! Wearing nothing at all on Halloween! Everyone would take even more pictures."

"Yeah yeah, and you have nothing at all in your room if I want to speed that up." You flicked his nose. "Put me down and we can walk over and check how it's going."

"Excuse me?" A stranger. "Can I take a picture of you and your boyfriend like that."

"I'm not her boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend. Go ahead though."

~*~*~*~

"What are you working on?"

Idia's voice was slightly muffled under the pumpkin head. "People kept calling my projection 'cute'. Idiots! They don't know the true fear of Pumpkin Hollow. So I'm adjusting the projection mapping so it's less cute, and more accurate."

"Hm. It seems fine to me as it is."

"You would think that. You don't care if there is a cuteness to things that are scary."

"There's beauty and sweetness in even death." You thought for a moment. "This is for that series you sat me down for? You got mad when I played with the toys?"

"Those. Are. Collecta-" he stopped when he whirled on you, faltering into silence. You really wished you could see the face he was making, he made such sweet faces, especially when he looked at you. You craved them, wanted him to look only at you with those expressions.

You smiled at him. "There's no use in leaving a toy in a box! I don't buy anything I don't intend to play with."

"Ah. Errrrrrrrrghhhmmm." He turned back to his work, took a deep breath, and turned back around. "You watched them, would you give me feedback?"

"Sure. Could you lean down a little?"

He did, and you carefully pulled off the pumpkin, revealing - nothing. No head at all.

You laughed. "Turn that off."

"Why?"

"I just opened your box. Time to play."

He made a strangled noise and started back, looking this way and that. "Right now? Anyone could come in!"

"Just for a moment! How can I give you a kiss if I can't see where I'm aiming?"

His head flickered into view, with a face full of mischief. "... Just one?"

~*~*~*~

"What happened to your makeup?"

"Wouldn't you like to know, model boy." You looked Vil up and down. "You're actually pretty hot like that. It's a miracle."

"Of course you would only find me attractive when I look like a corpse." He rolled his eyes hard enough to sprain. "Do I need to go lie down in a glass coffin too? Stay very still while you actually work up the courage to touch me?"

You snorted. "You wish I would touch you, you overblown jackass."

"With you looking like that? I'd die."

"Bite me, asshole."

"You'd like it if I did."

Your tone grew playful. "Is that a promise for later?"

"Ugh." His shudder was too exaggerated to be anything but an act. "Go ask your ugly little playmate for a bite, we all know what gross shit you get up to."

"You're just mad it's not you."

He pointed a perfectly manicured nail at your painted nose. "You're just mad I want nothing to do with you."

"Then why are you even talking to me?"

"I- why am I talking to you. Go away."

You did, but not before pulling on his cape to wrinkle it.

~*~*~*~

You had a dreadful feeling things were about to get worse. Call it intuition, or paranoia. But with any luck, that would change after a good night's sleep.

(It did not.)

~*~*~*~ These fuckers were getting exhausting. What a grand idea, picking unknown flowers to stick in your hair for selfies! That wasn't an excellent way to come down with a hideous case of contact poisoning at all. You had to swat one girl's hand away from a bed of monkshood, reciting symptoms of aconite poisoning at her until she stalked off in a huff. 

And futzing around with the decorations! The only reason you didn't outwardly congratulate Leona on trying to rip apart a bunch of tourists was that murder is supposed to be bad, no matter how irritating and disrespectful the murder victims were. Even you knew better than to go around fondling random ears and tails! 

(That's why you'd made the anatomy books in the library your friends. Far more polite than going up to a fellow student and saying, "May I feel around your skull for a few hours to satisfy my scientific curiosity? No one at home has ears like that and I'm very curious about the underlying muscle structures." )

Better see what's going on everywhere else.

~*~*~*~

You got up in tiptoe and lightly touched his arm. "Hey, Floyd?"

"??? Yes, Shrimpie?" His face instantly brightening, he dropped the absolutely delighted Magicammer he'd had pressed to the shelf and turned to you, leaning in as you crooked your finger.

You whispered in his ear, "Why waste magic on them when you can do so much more with your fists?"

He shone like the sun as he pressed his cheek to yours in lieu of something more intimate. "You always know just what to do."

~*~*~*~

"GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HOUSE."

The crowd of idiots instead turned on you with flash photography. "Another ghost! This'll get so many likes!"

"I MEAN IT!" Blinking away the spots from your eyes and casting all good sense to the wind, you grabbed a fire poker from inside your bedroom door and started swinging. They laughed and clapped - and only stepped back when you got the damned thing stuck in the wall while taking a swing.

"What an excellent show!" And more. Fucking. Pictures. How in the fuck Vil deals with this shit without murdering everyone in a hundred-foot radius, you'd love to know.

"I SAID-" yank "GET THE FUCK-" yank "OUT OF MY HOUSE!" The force of finally pulling the poker from the wall sent you careening onto your ass, and Grimm only stopped long enough to laugh at you before resuming his own ineffective charge. You stumbled to your feet, muttering. "Stupid little mother fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking fucking..."

"Oh, it's a chase game! Let's go!" And they all fucking scattered into different rooms as you watched them in disbelief.

"I am going to kill everyone in this building and then myself for good measure."

~*~*~*~

"Leave."

"Aren't you going to scare me, Miss Ghost?" This last idiot was joyfully skipping around a bedroom that you'd had the ghosts empty out, nattering into her phone. A livestream, you think.

You're in you goddamned pajamas. "Sure. We don't use this room because the floor's not sound. Get the fuck out and leave before you fall through to the next floor."

The girl instead started to hop in place. "Oooooo, so scary! You'll have to try better than that!"

You rushed her. You probably would have throttled her (and wound up with a new ghostly roommate in the process) but as she backed up, your leg went through the floor where she'd weakened it, which left her cackling. 

"You weren't kidding! Bye now!" And she just fucking left you there like the wretched asshole she was.

~*~*~*~

"I'm so sorry, Yuu."

"Nothing to be sorry about, Mal."

He rested his head on your bare knee and looked up at you. "If I hadn't picked your home as a stamp location, people wouldn't be invading this dorm, and you wouldn't have been injured."

"You fixed me up, didn't you?" He was the one who had pulled you rightways, and shut the scratches on your leg. Of course, he could have left your socks on to do that, but hey, those had been fixed too. You reached down and put your hand on his cheek, rubbing circles by his eye while he stared up at you like an adoring dog.

"This was supposed to be fun for you, so you could have a perfect Halloween."

"That's still a few days away yet. There's still time. And hey."

He blinked up at you as you leaned your face in close, flushing faintly as you did. "Any luck, we'll all make it to November without assault charges."

~*~*~*~

"Yuu?"

You subconsciously growled like a rabid animal as you turned to Lilia with your eye twitching.

"By all the queen's powers." He shrank back. "You alright?"

"Magimons broke the lock on our bedroom and shook her awake last night." Grimm was, by some miracle, in a better mood than you; content to be a comforting weight in your arms and be your anger translator.

"They took," you added, "my groceries."

Lil looked at you in blank shock. "What about the wards on your doors?"

"That's for magic, not fucking morons with no sense of personal space." If you made it through 'til November without actually biting someone's throat out and getting put down like a mad dog, you'd be sincerely surprised. "You of all people should know that."

"Hey, I put them back up after I drop in. You want to go sit with Malleus today? I think you need it."

"Nope. If I snap at him he'll take it to heart. Or just kill everyone who's not staff or student because they upset me."

"No he wouldn't."

"We both know he would."

"He would not because that would be bad press for the kingdom."

"... well, damned if I ever though I'd say this, but thank god for politics."

~*~*~*~

You stare at the empty plinths as everyone started yelling and scrambling. You look to the rubble of the statues, the bases, to Cater, and back to the rubble, nudging what may have once been a staff with you toe.

"And it's not even for a fucking political movement."

~*~*~*~

"Yuu, if we can get rid of the magicam monsters, we can have the party!" Grimm smiled up at you, all sharp teeth and blue eyes. "Aren't you happy?"

You didn't have the heart to tell him that at this point, you'd rather they'd just cancel everything and simply sleep through till All Saint's. Fuck your costume work. Fuck the party. Fuck everything. If you see another jack o lantern you will smash it. Fuck this holiday. You're so tired.

"Yuu, do you have ideas on how to drive the magicam monsters away?"

You stared past Cater's ear because you didn't feel like looking anyone in the face. "Tried to brain a few with a fire poker. Th'just thought it was funny."

This was met with the sound of air sucked through teeth, and a warm hand on your shoulder. "Come with me please!" And Ortho pulled you away with the force of a vaudeville hook.

"You're having a very bad time!" So sweet, so earnest. Right now he was the only person here who could be that chipper and you not want to put their nose out the back of their skull.

You gave him a weary smile. "What was your first clue, honey."

"She keeps kicking in her sleep. When she sleeps. And she's all snappy and horrible!"

You gave Grimm a single light warning shake. "Shut up, Grimm."

"Would you like to stay over so that you can rest properly?" He was hovering directly in front of your face. "Maybe if you're somewhere you won't be woken up, you'll feel better."

You raised an eyebrow and stared over at Idia, who was trying very hard to pay attention to both your conversation and his. "Shouldn't you clear that with someone first?"

Ortho rolled his eyes, the effect on his little boy face frankly hilarious. "Oh, he'd be so upset you have you over. Deeply so. He wouldn't get a wink of sleep with you there." He leaned in. "Except he would, because you wouldn't do anything to keep him up with me there, would you?"

You wheezed. "You think so little of me, Ortho."

"I like you very much even if what you both get up to is gross."

"Of every boy in this school, Yuu. You picked that one."

Ortho glared down at Grimm. "That is my brother you're talking about."

"Stop it. Can we check back in?"

~*~*~*~

"So we're going to run round and scare the piss out of them?"

Jade nodded. "That is the idea, yes."

"... Can I help?"

"Of course, Yuu." Jade smiled his smile that didn't reach more than a millimetre beneath his eyes. "But we've agreed you can't have any blunt objects. For everyone's safety. And the school's reputation, of course.."

"... Yeah, that's for the best."

~*~*~*~

"Can you guys watch Grimm for the evening?"

"Of course." Mal beamed at you from his seat on the Ramshackle steps. "Where will you be that he doesn't want to be?"

"I don't like the horse."

"You ride horses?" Idia was sitting between Mal's legs as Malleus carefully arranged the bright hair into a high ponytail.

"Epel taught me." You paused for a minute. "Do you?"

"Mother made me learn. I haven't in years."

"Makes sense." He didn't like the outdoors, after all. "Mal, how'd you convince him to let you touch his hair? He only lets me do that in private."

"It will look nicer coming out of his pumpkin helmet if arranged higher." Mal crooked his mouth and dragged his lacquered nails along Idia's scalp, making a soft noise when Idia gasped, shivered and abruptly stood up.

"Nope nope nope nope no more of that-"

"May I at least put the elastic in?" Mal held up a black band. "It's fireproof."

He instead snatched it and ran for the library as fast as he could without cracking the armour. You and Mal watched him leave.

"Hm."

"Mal?"

He was still watching the blue light vanish into the distance. "I think I can see the appeal." His dreamy smile gained a sharp edge. "What a delicious sound."

You snickered. "God, I know, right? You should hear some of the other ones I've got out of him."

"You're both disgusting."

~*~*~*~

You hadn't worked out an actual story for this one, just your ghostly roommates and Grimm telling everyone to leave the statues alone. But some asshole, wearing aviator shades and the ugliest piecemeal hoodie you'd ever seen, mounted a plinth to start taking selfies. And once that started, more got the idea, and joined him, trying to nudge the statue away to make room.

So, that's where you came in, pulling into sight at the end of the drive, in tarnished gilt and rotten splendor, jeweled Death on a pale horse.

Sunglasses looked at you and froze, before snapping another picture.

Fucking pictures. You're so sick of pictures.

You snapped the reins and nudged your heels, and who knew anyone on two legs could move that fast? Though potentially being run down by a warhorse was great motivation to move thine arse, as it were. And, thank god, everyone else booked it out the gate after him. 

It only took a little maneuvering to lock the gate while still up on a pale horse named Beans, and now? Time to take him to his stable and go the fuck to sleep. Maybe through past tomorrow. Fuck Halloween.

~*~*~*~

You were riding your merry way when a familiar voice called out to you. "You dropped some loot!"

"What did I lose, Idia?" His little speakers mimicking the clang of armour were working overtime as he jogged up beside you. Once he reached you, he held up... a shoe.

"Huh." You looked down, and you had indeed lost a shoe while charging down a bunch of Magicam-obsessed assholes on a warhorse. "Thank you." That's when you gave Idia a level gaze, and stuck you leg out at him.

He swallowed back his noise of shock, and shaking, took your stockinged foot and slid the shoe back into place. 

"Good boy."

He was turning from shell pink to a deep red that rivaled the roses in Heartslabyul. But that didn't mean he didn't know how to keep playing when emotions were high. Before letting go, he leaned down and kissed the top of your foot.

Now it was your turn to go red; a wonder the painted skull didn't simply melt off of your face.

~*~*~*~

"Shrimpie~"

You took a breath and prepared yourself. Scoopsies was inevitable.

True to form, Floyd had his whole conversation with you in a bridal carry. "We're gonna have the party!~ We chased them all away!~"

"That's..." Honestly, despite all the rage and pain this week had caused, you were rather happy about the news. "Nice."

"Ah - where'd your face go?" He leaned in, and you stopped him from getting too close with a finger pressed to his lips.

"I didn't feel up to wearing everything." Your embroidered gown and painted skull was replaced with a simple back veil and black dress. "I kind of hate this whole holiday right now and I'm ready to kick the next pumpkin I see."

He nodded, kissing your fingertip as he did. "I can help you after. But we need this all for the parade." He brightened. "You should paint up and get on the horse again for it!" He smiled, full of dreamy fondness and not a small amount of hunger. "I heard what you did to the magicam monsters... I wish I could have seen."

"Hey, I heard you didn't do too badly yourself." You leaned in conspiratorially. "Anyone pee themselves?"

He smiled like the sun post-eclipse. "Yup!"

~*~*~*~

Epel had been nice enough to help you kit out Beans in a fancy black harness, so in amongst the crowd of costumed students, you were both equally eye-catching. And hell, pictures weren't so bad right now. People were keeping a distance, murmuring to each other as they aimed their cameras. You thought you were getting a dirty look or two from Vil for stealing his thunder, but he had himself on the prow of a ship! It wasn't comparable.

"So," you said, leaning down a little, "How are you handling this?"

Idia looked up at you, you thought. "The mask makes it easy. They're looking at the costume, not me."

"I'm glad it helps. I wish you'd take it off, but you being comfortable is more important."

"What? You want me to ruin the effect by taking the mask off? Clearly you have no respect for the holiday." His voice had the sweet, bubbling quality that came when he was excited and happy, and it warmed you to hear it.

"Oh, no, of course not. But why would I want to taste a plastic kiss,” you said, reaching a hand down to run the trailing ribbon of his hair through your fingers, “when I could taste you instead?"

You had to give him credit, he only faltered for a moment before continuing. "Right now? In front of everyone?"

"I would if you'd let me, right now." You lowered your voice. "And worse."

He stifled a groan and only walked funny for another ten minutes.

~*~*~*~

"I thought you didn't like horses." The stables were in sight, but Idia had turned up, surprising you.

He rolled his eyes, and held his arms out. "Dismount, fair maiden."

What.

"I mean it. Your Pumpkin Knight awaits."

You shook your head, voice soft. "Baby, no."

"I'm trying to be romantic. Like your novels."

"Idia."

He stared back at you, sour-faced. "What."

"I outweigh you by at least sixty pounds."

"I can do this. I carry Ortho around all the time."

"Ortho's chassis is mostly fibreglass and aluminum. I can carry Ortho. I think Grim could carry Ortho."

He took a step forward. "Do you want me to leave you on the horse or not."

"His name is Beans." But, you managed to dismount into Idia's arms, where he stood stock-still and trembling.

"Kkc."

"Babe? Put me down before your back goes out."

His knees gave out first, and he crumpled beneath you as you both yelped.

"You alright?"

"hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"

You crawled off his chest and he could actually breathe again.

"Better?"

After a few breaths, he managed a weak smile. "Maybe kiss it better."

Beans beat you to it, snuffling at Idia's face to make sure he wasn't dead.

~*~*~*~

You are not much of a party person. You like them, but the ideal party is a few friends hanging around in the same room, chatting at a reasonable volume and then going home to go the fuck to sleep. This was a little much.

But you know what this party had that you hadn't seen in what felt like years? Cute girls. In cute costumes! You've been flirting your ass off, with decent success; it turns out that the Magicam Live you did with Vil weeks ago had paid off in the form of smiles and fluttered eyelashes as girls crowded around you to hear tales of how fucking obnoxious you could be in this school and get away with it because you had friends in high places.

At least, until you caught something out of the corner of your eye, and you stopped. "Hey, I gotta check on someone - raise your hand if you like boys. Okay, you see -" You stopped and pointed at your poor, unsuspecting target. "With the blue-black hair and the painted spade? That's Deuce, he doesn't know how to talk to girls worth a damn, so give him some slack. But he's a sweetheart, you won't regret it."

"What about the redhead?"

"Ace is a prick but he's delightful. Chat him up too." With that, you went to check on Idia, huddled into a corner after an attempted force-feeding.

"You alright, babe?"

He nodded. "They're too much. But I'm alright now."

You leaned back against a nearby chair, looking him up and down. "You sure you aren't going to eat anything? I don't think anyone's going to care too much if you have your face out."

He remained completely still, and you realized you could hear a faint whirring.  "Idia. Have you been using the robot double all evening."

"... I swapped out ten minutes ago."

You made a noise and he flinched. "I was going to swap back in after it calmed down!"

"... No you weren't."

"Okay, no I wasn't. But I was there for a while. I have proof, I brought plates back with me."

"You could have just told me. It's been a hell of a lot for you, I know what you're like."

Idia - well, his robotic avatar - shrugged. "If you're going to lecture me... come by and do it here."

You stopped. "You really want me to yell at you in person?"

"I want you to come by. If you want. You can stay as long as you want... if you want. I have snacks, and movies, and games that even you could play."

You snorted. "Oh, the siren call of a fucking nerd trying so hard to woo his chosen..."

"I changed my mind actually, you can't come."

"Aww."

"... That's a lie." He paused. "You can even take the Yume Twins out."

Those vinyl dolls he never let you touch. You throw your veil back and kissed the stupid plastic pumpkin head. "It's a date."

~*~*~*~

"Yuu?"

You peered at Malleus from around a stack of Tupperware. "Mal?"

"You.. enjoyed it all, despite everything?"

"Despite everything." You hefted the stack towards him. "Would you like to help? I want to grab stuff from the party that'll keep at room temperature."

He absently flicked a finger, sending the dishes swirling around to settle in a stack in midair, before placing a hand on your shoulder. "I have a... request."

"Anything," you said, and you regretted saying it as his breath hitched.

"Would you..." His voice faltered, and instead he simply wrapped you in a tight embrace, leaning down to bury his nose in your hair. You could feel him, chest heaving, scenting your greased hair through tulle, murmuring something against your scalp.

"Malleus."

He stopped, but did not move.

"No spells."

"You would not forgive me if I tried." You could feel his smile against your hair.

"I would not." You pulled back enough to look at him, and nearly froze at his besotted gaze before he schooled it into his more usual face. "Mal, you know you only feel this strong because I'm your first friend, right?"

"Does it matter? It is sincere."

And that makes it so much worse. "You know I don't feel about you like that."

"..." The grief that flickered across his face was enough to shatter a stone heart. "To stand with you and hold you is enough."

And they said fairies can't lie. They could, they were just terrible at it.

"You said you were going to ask for something?"

"... Not anymore. I doubt you would give it."

He vanished into thin air in a swirl of wind, and the Tupperware clattered to the steps, the spell holding them gone.

~*~*~*~

The nice thing about Idia's room is that, being a prefect, he had an attached bathroom to scrub the paint off of your face. It was a monochrome murder in the sink, splatters of grey with the occasional pinprick of red where you'd disturbed the new bumper crop of pimples from painting up as a skull for a week. Thank fuck that was over with. Even if the day proper had been lovely, the events of the week had thoroughly soured you on Halloween.

"You alright?" Idia poked his head in, long since divested of armour.

"Yup. How'd you get that shit off so fast? You got a suiting-up machine hidden somewhere?"

"It's less complicated than you'd think. Cosplay magic."

"That's nice. Unbutton me."

"... wha."

You looked at him via the mirror, meeting his wide eyes and shimmying in place. "Unbutton me. I can't reach them all myself."

"How'd you get that on every day?" He hesitantly walked behind, eyeing the row down your back as though it would burn him at the touch.

"I have roommates, remember?"

"Mmh." He finally undid the first three, before flicking his gaze back to yours in the mirror. "A... Are you sure?"

"I wouldn't ask, otherwise." You kept looking, as he took a breath and resumed. "Idia."

He paused.

"Keep going, I'm just going to chat at you for a bit." Two more. "You know I..." How to phrase this. "I don't intend to stay mint on card forever, you know. You can take me out and play."

He twitched, but kept going. "Maybe I don't want to damage you. There's only one of you, after all."

"I'm not so breakable." You had one side of you face completely clear, the other still smeared grey in the creases. "Would you rather stay mint condition, yourself?"

"..." He took a moment to gather himself, staring at the exposed skin of your back. "Maybe I want to... admire a bit. Get to know my- your- Uh."

You waited with a soft smile, until he found the words. "No one said you have to play straight away when you take something out of the package. Right?" He placed an experimental hand on the expanse of flesh between bra band and waistband, and did not draw away.

"Right."

"... Maybe I just want to hold you a bit before we play."

What a sweet boy you had. "Take all the time you need to. Even if we never play like that, I like you. Spending time with you is what I want."

You could see the motes of pink flickering through his hair. "Can I hold you now?"

"Of course."

He slid his hands under your dress, around your waist - then grabbed your soft, flabby tummy in both hands and squeezed. "Soft~"

You squealed with laughter. "What are you doing?"

"It's bare skin that's neutral territory," he huffed, before hugging your back to him and resting his chin on your shoulder. "And it's warm, too."

"Not so much as you. Keep me warm, will you? It's getting so damned cold at night."

He buried his face in your hair. "I can do that."

~*~*~*~

You woke to someone banging at the door.

"Son of a bitch." You managed to free yourself from Idia's sleeping grasp and make it to the door as a familiar voice started up. "Shroud, your tin can brother's already helping with clean-up, if you skip out because of a stupid game I will-"

You opened the door and looked levelly into Vil's face, which twisted in surprise. He gave you a once over (unshaved legs, mussed hair, boxer briefs from the men's section and a blue-black striped shirt that was clearly not yours) and then peeked over your shoulder at Idia (dead asleep, smiling faintly, possibly naked under the blankets). He kept looking between the two of you with increasing disbelief and horror, until he stepped back, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Good for you."

"Thanks." Your face still hadn't changed.

"It's twelve thirty. If you're not both out helping clean up by three, I'm telling everyone."

"That's not much of a threat."

"Maybe to you. Shroud!"

Idia shuddered awake, bleariness washed away by terror as he saw Vil in the door and covered himself in the blankets.

"Be out helping cleanup by three or I'm telling everyone exactly why you're late." With that, he stalked off and you shut the door, mirroring his nose pinch.

"Dramatic bastard, ain't he? Even when he's being nice."

"How is that nice?" He only stopped shivering when you sat back down on the bed.

"Two and a half hours, Idia."

He blinked at you.

"How much can we do in two and a half hours?"

Realization dawned, and he started snickering as he dragged you in close.

[sometimes-love-is-enough]

meat!

well that seems like a fairly conclusive response (only one person voted for just candy). you did this to yourselves

Title: soma

Summary: What’s that thing people say about ignorance?

Notes:

This takes into account and is somewhat of a followon to the stuff established in these three remixes of melliferous, so if you’re confused, i am SO sorry. it’s not that much better from this end of things, trust me.

less of an epilogue, more of an addition or maybe a series of vignettes in the melliferous multiverse. because apparently that’s a thing now. this is dubiously canon. take it as you will.

Warnings: for the usual melliferous content – bugs and drugs, death, unreality, body horror, cannibalism. And also corpse desecration, and dismemberment! If any of these even vaguely seem like they might upset you, please turn back now.

For I was hungry, and I ate you. I was thirsty, and I drank you. [sic] – Matthew 25:35

*

i.

“You know what’s bugging me?” Thomas says, millions of cycles into all of this, and two swiftly-downed shot glasses into the last of Lady Seph’s newest round of stock.

“Haha, bugs.” Patton lowers his glass of starfire briefly to give a weak fingergun in Thomas’s direction. “Because – you know, everything’s bugs down here for some reason?”

Logan is halfway to drunk and halfway to dead already. It’s just one of those lifetimes. The fact that’s he’s mostly dust and barely able to hold up his glass does not, however, stop him from theorizing, “You know, it really is entirely possible that they aren’t actually insects, and their carapacian forms are a result of some form of convergent evolution.”

“Stop trying to apply logic to them,” Roman moans. He makes a face and raises a sleeve to his mouth to try to scrub the taste of honey off of his tongue. It lingers strangely, sweetly. “Haven’t you ever heard of willing suspension of disbelief? We’re not meant to understand this.”

Remus is dissolving. But cheerfully. “Yeah, it’s more fun this way!”

“For a certain definition of fun, sure,” is Virgil’s muttered take.

“Or maybe the evolution path was divergent in form. A potential split somewhere along the line, dividing from beings of a celestial persuasion into what we find ourselves as today into insectoid and humanoid, both created in their image...”

“It does appear that God has an inordinate fondness for beetles,” says Janus. “Holistically, that is.”

Thomas frowns. “...Guys, are we having oblique yet resonant Socratic dialogue again?”

“When are we not? Someone check for cameras, I’d hate for this one to go up online, unedited,” Janus replies, somewhat sardonically, and raises his own glass. “Refill, if you would.”

A flurry of flowers, a fluttering of wings, and good old Auntie Seph is back again with another bottle of gods-knows-what. “Y’all ain’t sticking around for long this time, huh?”

“A few more minutes, maybe,” Virgil confirms as she passes by and swishes back into the darkness of the bar to continue her evening rounds. “I think I’m really going off steak at this point, honestly.”

“What were you saying, Thomas?” Roman asks, trying to sit up straighter. “Something bugging you? Something you can’t quite, um – ”

“Bee-lieve?” Patton supplies.

“Sure. Uh. The steak,” Thomas says. “I had some this time, you know? It was...” He struggles for words.

“Delicious,” Virgil says with a grimace.

“Remarkably well-seasoned for something drenched in honey and not much else,” Roman comments, who had also partaken in the steak this time around for some unknown, unknowable reason.

“Human!” Remus crows, teeth flashing white in the dimness of the lowly-lit bar. “Soylent Green is people! Or did I make that joke already...?”

“We all knew it was human flesh, Remus,” Logan sighs, listing even further sideways. “It’s not as if there are any cows down here to harvest the steak from, let alone any other animals. And if you examine the entomology and feeding habits of the American vulture bee – ”

“The humans around here don’t look very, um. Meaty,” Thomas says. “Just saying. It’s – they’re – ”

“Hollow? They would be,” Janus points out. “In case you haven’t noticed, the bees are sucking them dry. They’re all essentially husks.”

“So where does she get the steak from?” Thomas asks again, and nobody has an answer for them, most likely because they’re all far too busy shrivelling away into the darkness.

“Oh, never mind,” Patton yawns. “We’re dead anyway. What does it matter?”

“...Good point. I’ll work it out next time.” Thomas studies the bar with bleary eyes. The faded photographs and portraits on the walls, the legions of shades drinking in their usual solemn silence. “So where do you go when you die if you’re already in hell?”

“Hell 2,” Remus suggests, slumping against the bar, “This Time With More Capitalism.”

“Not too loud, you’ll give my wife ideas,” Seph tells them from across the bar, and raises her glass to them. A farewell toast. “And don’t you think too hard about the steak thing. You’ll only end up hurting yourself.”

And then it’s dust to dust, and the wheel begins to turn again.  

*

ii.

The party’s in full swing when Virgil says to Thomas, quite frankly, “I hate parties.”

The lights are bright above them. The air is fresh with the birth of spring, and the music is loud and ringing through the air like a hailing chorus fit for the arrival of a queen.

Thomas clears his throat after a moment. “Okay, not that I don’t appreciate the commentary... but, uh, Virge-?”

“I’m here because you’re anxious,” Virgil supplies, folding his arms and resting his head on top of them. “Parties, man. Just stay home and browse Netflix for the millionth time, why don’t you?”

“It’s good for me to get out, and also, I’m pretty sure you don’t need to be here for me to be anxious. It happens anyway. That wasn’t what I was going to ask.” He rests his hand on a nearby tree and watches Logan and Patton attempting to reconcile their two extremely different ideas of ‘dancing’, on the fly, on the dance floor. “...Why are you sitting on my shoulders?”

“I like being tall,” replies Virgil.

“Hm,” says Thomas. “Okay, fair enough.”

Janus is over in the far corner chatting with the grinning man; the one with the hat and the constantly-in-motion wings and the laugh like the rattling of a lock clicking open. They’re talking about car chases and unlikely escapes and flights into the night, they’re comparing false identities and secrets they’ve never told anyone else; they’re lying wildly to each other.

On top of a table of cakes and sweetmeats piled high to the heavens, Remus perches and engages in deep, fascinated conversation with a lady whose crystal-cut eyes shine in the bright sunlight. They speak of rot, of rebirth, of blazing heat and screaming cold.  Her wings are familiar. Nothing else about her is. That’s another story, though, one to be told later.

“Well, this is new,” says Seph, sauntering over. A crooked flower crown rests in her hair with all the colors of spring, and the wine glass her long spindly fingers are curled securely around seems to be filled with actual proper honest-to-god wine. Her eyes are bright, her coat is long, her wings are radiant. “Now, what brings a scattered disaster of a man like you to a party like this?”

Thomas blinks. Virgil’s arms, looped loosely around the top of his head, tighten. “I’m... sorry, do I know you?”

“In a roundabout sort of way, maybe,” she replies, and swirls the wine before slurping it up with that long, long tongue of hers. “Lady of the spring, at your service. You here by invite, or-?”

“Hey, I can’t actually remember how we got here,” Virgil mutters into Thomas’s hair.

Thomas hovers, suddenly extremely worried. “Should I. Like. Leave?”

“Not a worry. The blooming of spring is a party for everyone,” she says wisely, and then grins wide and sharp and tosses her empty glass to one side, where it shatters into crystal shards and light. “‘Specially me. Even if I’m late. ‘Specially if I’m late. Have you tried the food? It’s to die for, and for once ya don’t even have to die to eat it!”

“...Is this a fairy ring?” Virgil says suspiciously, peering down at her from his perch on Thomas’shoulders. “You legally have to tell us if it’s a fairy ring, otherwise it’s entrapment.”

Seph laughs. “Naw. Different story, that. Don’t worry too much about the details, just have fun – it ain’t gonna last for very long.” She adjusts the flowers adorning her head, tucking chrysanthemum blooms back to stop them falling over her eyes, and extends a hand in Thomas’s direction. Her long fingers wiggle; an invitation. “Here, come on and dance, kiddo, while we’ve still got the time.”

Virgil sighs and complains but gets down from Thomas’s shoulders with a catlike tumble that leaves him crouched on the ground, and he claps Thomas on the shoulder before going to join Remus.

Seph isn’t any threat. Not here, not to them. She’s a friend, in a roundabout sort of way.

“All right,” says Thomas. “So, let’s dance.”

The music blares, rising with brass and percussion and strings struck with purpose and energy both. Out onto the dance floor with them, and into the fray. Seph dances like she drinks – careless and wild; sloppy but purposeful. She whirls them around, cackling in time with the music-from-nowhere, kicking up her heels in the dirt. She’s a different person entirely, up here, full of light and laughter and a kind of rusted-and-rough love for everything around her.

Thomas lets her lead and lets her swing and swirl him around in mad spirals, wild and free as a honeybee in a summertime frame of mind. They laugh and yell and stomp and he thinks he might have started to sing along at some point, although there’s no earthly way he should know the words.

“But what about the steak?” Thomas asks as she pulls away and he stumbles back, dizzy and high on the thrill of life.

“What about the steak?” she replies, and there’s another glass of wine in her hand already. “Don’t you know what they say about ignorance? See you when winter comes around, sugar. Let’s hope we get it right this time, hey?”

*

iii.

Virgil sits and goes at it with a fork-and-knife, breaking the steak up into bite-sized chunks. It’s tough and he has to saw a bit to cut through. Juices bubble and spill across his plate, honey pooling in concentric little patterns. The centre of it is red-rare; just like he likes. He spears a chunk with his fork, and holds it to his lips.

He doesn’t take a bite.

He says, “I don’t get why we have to do this.”

Remus says, “Sure you do, it’s what we do every time. I say ‘funny how it doesn’t feel like much of a choice at all’, and you say – ”

“This is some sort of cycle, isn’t it? Some kind of loop.”

“Uh, no?” Remus puts down his steak. (He doesn’t bother using the knife. His hands are sticky with honey and meat-juice. Although the honey is a kind of meat-juice too, if you think about it.) “You’ve never said that before. Usually it’s something sardonic to hide the fact that’s you’re extremely freaked out.”

“Remus,” says Virgil thoughtfully, still staring at his fork.

“Mm?”

“How often are you aware of the fact that we’re stuck in some kind of horrible time loop cycle?”

“Oh, only when it’s funny,” says Remus, and tears off a long, thick strip of meat from his meal with his back teeth.

“Right,” says Virgil. “Right, okay.” He pauses. “So, have we figured out where the steak comes from yet, or..?”

“Shh,” says Remus, sloppily raising a filthy-sweet finger to Virgil’s lips. “Don’t spoil the moment, Great Skittish Bake-Off. I never get invited over for family dinner, this is a novelty.”

“Gosh, I wonder why,” Virgil mutters, but shuts up and eats his damned steak like a good little cog in the machine.

*

iv.

“Okay, here’s another question,” Thomas says, tossing a stone into the Styx. It doesn’t make a sound, mainly because an infinite number maggots don’t tend to have much surface tension to break. “When you all went and decided ‘right, time to go get Thomas back from being extremely dead’...”

“Mm?” says Janus, sorting through their makeshift tacklebox with an absent look on his face.

“...Do you want to explain why your first thought was let's go to hell?”

Patton acquires an extremely shifty look on his face, and doesn’t reply. Instead, he casts his fishing line high and wide, and nods approvingly as the hook and lure and end of the line disappear into the seething mass of maggots.

“What are you even fishing for,” Virgil complains, trying to smudge excess honey off his clothes. “More maggots? It’s not like there’s any fish in that whole mess.”

“You don’t know that,” insists Patton, stubbornly optimistic. “There might be fish.”

“Dead fish, maybe,” Logan says dryly.

“Guys, no, seriously. What specifically did I do to make you think I was in hell. I mean, you weren’t wrong, but I – I really desperately need to know your reasoning, come on, don’t just – ”

Remus lies on his stomach several distance away. He’s also fishing, but he’s doing it with his bare hands. Which doesn’t seem very safe or sanitary, but stopping him would probably be more trouble than it’s worth. “Maybe he’s fishing for the steak,” he suggests.

“That’s even more unlikely than the fish,” Roman replies, snorting.

“Eh. ‘Bout as likely as anything that goes on down here.” Remus makes a wild swipe into the river and comes up with a bloody fistful of maggots. “Just saying. Maybe that’s how she gets her hands on the meat. She dredges through the river and pulls out the people that fell in and fries them all up for dinner, sweet and hot.”

“If the maggots don’t get to them first,” Virgil points out.

Remus holds up his hand obligingly, letting everyone see that his fistful of maggots are currently going absolutely to town on the meat of his hand. Bone is gleaming through the raw-hamburger mess of red and more red.

“I thought maggots only went for dead flesh,” Patton hums, and jolts as his fishing rod jerks and bends, straining against some pressure on the other end of the rod.

“Patton,” says Thomas glumly, having resigned himself to the fact that nobody at all is planning to answer his extremely pertinent and important question, “I have to break this to you, I really do, but we are all extremely dead.”

“Oh, yeah,” Patton says, reeling in his catch. “Ha! I keep forgetting about that, would you believe it? Now, I wonder what I caught...”

The catch is maggots. It’s all maggots, down there. Some are much livelier than others, but still maggots. Not that any of that’s going to stop Patton, though. What’s that thing people tend to say about hope?

*

v.

Back straight, hands clasped, chair pulled up tight as it can go to the lip of the kitchen table. His leg jitters on the underside of the table, his nervousness invisible in the darkness.

“I just want to see,” Thomas says.

Missus Hades hums lowly to herself, before raising her cigarette up and away, letting the smoke peel off towards the dark ceiling tiles. The lights buzz, or maybe that’s the bees. “You really won’t like what you find, you know.”

“Let me guess,” says Virgil, pressed up tight in the corner like he’s trying to melt into Thomas’s side. “We never do.”

“Don’t know about that,” she says. “Far as I’m aware, you’ve never asked. I just know you’re really not going to like it.”

The smoke doesn’t smell scratchy and musty in the way that Thomas expects cigarette-smoke to smell. It’s like a bonfire. Maybe a bit floral. A hint of nostalgia to it.

“We’ve been doing this for so long,” Logan says. The lighting in here does weird things to his glasses, makes them all honey-red-shiny and alien. He doesn’t come in here often, never has. “If it doesn’t impact us, surely there’s no harm in telling us. And if it does, we really would like to know.”

Missus Hades leans sideways, bends down to skritch-scratch one of her larger-than-average pets behind its ears, or where its ears would be. They seem to enjoy it, at the very least. Her smile is sideways and strange and barely genuine. “Now what’s that they say about curiosity, again?”

“There’s no cats down here,” Roman points out. “Just bees.”

“An unholy amount of bees,” Janus mutters, shifting back into the shadows. He never seems to like Hades’s house. Not that any of them do, but – well.

“Fine,” says Hades, and stubs out her cigarette, crushing it under the heel of one shining chitinous hand. “Now, follow me, and don’t you go and say I didn’t warn you.”

You’d think that the layout of Missus Hades’s house would be simple, looking at it from the outside. But two hallways down and two stairways up and three right turns (and not necessarily in that order, either) and none of them could even begin to recall how to get to where they’re going.

It’s in the middle of a hallway like any other, in fact. Just another room in a house far too vast for one person to live in alone. Looks like she and her wife haven’t quite fixed things up properly, not this time around, but oh well. There’s always time and there’s always next time.

The door is locked and the door is solid metal. Not a lot of metal down here, come to think of it, not in the buildings. It’s just for the garden gates and the deadbolts, and anything made to keep people out.

Hades fishes for keys in the deep thick pockets of her long skirts. Thomas watches, and so do everyone else. They’re all here, which is nice – it doesn’t happen all the time, but it’s better when they’re all together.

“All right,” says Hades, and the door unlocks with a click. She pushes it open, flicks on the lights, and steps back.

It’s clean; almost obsessively tidy. The knives are sharp and shiny, the equipment not new but definitely well-maintained. The butcher knows what she’s doing. It would almost be pristine if it weren’t for the bloodied countertop and the source of the meat, which is –

Thomas takes an instinctive step back.

There is a pile of him on the ground, in various states of decay and dismemberment.

He recognizes the shirts, even. Lots of flowers. He’s always liked the flower shirts. His gaze travels sideways, to the countertop where a new steak is being prepared.

Oh. All right.

Okay.

“I really don’t know what I expected,” Thomas says.

Hades shrugs; the shifting of a mountain. Her face is impassive, although she seems to be watching him closely. “Neither do I, if I’m completely honest.”

Virgil says, “I’m going to go throw up now,” and does. He at least goes to do it outside, which is kind of him. The smells’ awful enough in here as it is.  

“I’ve heard of eating your heart out, but...” Patton trails off, and winces, going pale. “...Nevermind. I’m going to go join Virgil.”

“Well, hey,” says Remus. “It kind of makes sense. You are what you eat, you know?”

“Remus,” says Logan flatly. “Please shut up.”

“You don’t like me much, do you?” Thomas asks.

Hades tilts her head; her version of a startled blink. She sounds genuinely confused when she asks, “What makes you say that?”

“You are repeatedly carving up Thomas’s lifeless remains to serve to variations on his personality as a last meal,” Logan summarizes, rather succinctly – his steady voice a neat counterpoint to the whiteness of his knuckles and the faint trembling of his lips. “Are you telling me that is how you treat people you hold any sort of affection for?”

“You were hungry,” comes the reply. “I never forced you to eat, only served you the meal. Why for the love of all things above and below would that mean I hold any sort of animosity towards you? I don’t not like you, Thomas Sanders. And trust me, if I disliked you, you’d know about it.”

Logan stares at her for a long, long moment, and then turns on his heel and walks out of the room as fast as he can.

After a moment, Roman follows, not even saying a word.

Janus takes Thomas’s arm, and steers him out of the butchery. “Next time, let’s pick something other than the steak to fixate on, hm?” he says, voice entirely too calm.

“Hm, I’ll drink to that,” Thomas agrees, letting himself be steered. “And drink. And drink. And keep on drinking. Hey, let’s go to Seph’s right now; I feel like developing a major alcohol dependency for the sake of my own mental health. Who’s with me?”

They pretty much all are, not that it matters. This time around is going to be over soon enough, just like the others, and it really is completely up to chance whether any of them will remember this, or will remember it in time, or will even care.

Hades, alone in the butcher’s room, picks up a clean knife. She weighs it from side to side, thoughtful. She doesn’t exactly understand all the fuss – meat is meat, after all, no matter where it comes from. She doesn’t regret sharing the information, only that her wife may be upset by the fallout.

She’s wearing her nice clothes, and she never likes staining the gold and white – it’s absolute hell to get out, and she of all people knows that’s not an exaggeration – so she replaces the knife and casts one last glance around the room before turning and stepping out with the shift shift shift of moving fabric and the gentle clik-clak of boots on marble floor.

The light clicks off.

The smell of meat lingers.

*

[writing-the-end]

LoL Chapter 28- In Shadow

Masterpost

A Wizard Hermits tale (AU, designs, ideas belongs to @theguardiansofredland)

Returning to his hometown, Etho hs to balance his past with his present, as well as keep Keralis and Grian from embarrassing him in from of his old teacher and town. 

_______________________________

Etho always thought he was a handful- he may act mature, but his mind is full of mischief that would make even a criminal stumble. But dragging Keralis and Grian through the misty swamps of his home, he realizes there are more ways than one to cause trouble. 

Keralis goes sloshing away, swallowed up by the fog. The only way Etho knows he still exists is by the loud splash of the bug wizard, followed by a string of curses in his thick accent. Keralis returns to Etho’s side, wrestling a stag beetle and cooing at how lovely it looks. 

Grian on the other hand, Etho couldn’t get to shut up. “I think I have half the swamp in my boots.” 

“You could just fly.” Etho points out. 

“But I can’t see anything!” Grian’s whine echoes through the thick copse of trees, bouncing off submerged ferns and aged wood. “How do you even know where you’re going?” 

“Secret ninja techniques.” Etho muses, following the trail at his feet. Beneath the water, he can feel ridges carved into the stone, under the silt. Guiding him to his hometown. 

Keralis’s eyes get wider than usual at the sound of a branch snapping in the distance. He whips his head around, pulling on his hat and brushing closer to Etho. “Are you sure we’re alone?”

“We’re not.” Etho grins. Both Grian and Keralis whimper, searching the fog like they’re trying to see a ghost. They might as well be. “The town knows we’re coming. They’ve already seen us, even if we haven’t seen them.” 

“Ninjas.” Grian whispers. The trio continues in silence, or at least as silent as Grian and Keralis can be, sludging through the swamp. Grian chatters with himself and the bug wizard, his voice bouncing up cypress trees as tall as towers, clambering over the roots. He gets a foot tangled in the submerged vines, and goes headfirst into the slow moving brown water with a yelp. “Etho, when the hell are we going to get to this town? I haven’t seen any signs that we’re even close.” 

“Ah, yeah. I haven’t seen a spot of dry ground this whole time.” Keralis adds. “Are they on stilts? How does a town like that stay out of the swamp?” 

Etho feels the carved markings beneath his feet turn into a radiating circle, like a ripple across the surface. He stops, grabbing Keralis and Grian, a grin appearing on his unmasked face. “We’re here.” 

Grian turns around in a full circle, looking at the copse of trees. “Uhhh, are you okay Etho? This looks the same as every other part of the swamp.”

“Maybe it’s hidden in the fog? Fog magic?” Keralis waves his arms around as if he’s attempting to feel around in the dark. 

Etho leans against a root, grinning. “Try looking up.” 

Grian does so, and gasps. 

Above their head, a town hovers over them. Lantern lights split through the fog, unveiling themselves like a stage curtain, warm yellow glows dancing off the wood and paper. Beneath the strung lantern lights, dancing will-o-the-wisps above their heads, bridges of plank and rope connect tree to tree and guide the townsfolk across the swamp without making a sound. 

The fog continues to disappear, and the town of Shellor unmasks in ripples. Homes and businesses nestled in the massive trunks of the trees or perched on the expansive branches, the open air filtering the earth and water tone of the swamp air through bars, abodes, shops, and shrines. For a second, Grian wishes Mumbo was here to rant about the engineering marvel above his head. How much time it must’ve taken to build a town in the sky, where they even get the fire from, and hidden out of sight, out of sound. He never even realized they were walking beneath it. 

“How...how do we get up there?” Keralis tips his head, holding onto his hat so it doesn’t slip off. 

“Normally, adults can just climb up ourselves.” Etho launches from the root, grabbing hold of a branch and swinging himself up, higher and higher. “And Grian can fly, obviously. But- I’ll grab the basket.” 

“Basket?” Keralis watches the two disappear among the intertwining bridges. A second later, something is dropping back to the ground. It’s not a basket he thought it would be. It’s a lift of sorts. The wood floats like driftwood on the murky swamp water, the walls opening to invite Keralis in. He clambers on the wood panel, surprised to find that the weight hardly even shifts. Even when the walls pull back up around him and the basket starts to rise, he feels like he’s on solid ground. It’s the smoothest lift he’s even been on, something that would put Darlon to shame. 

Etho and Grian have their heads poking over the railing as Keralis rises up. “A pretty neat invention, huh?” Etho laughs, running a finger along the rope, watching the pulley system release the weight a distance away. “It’s not used often anymore, really just for when kids need to get down, supplies, the like.” 

Keralis stumbles onto the bridge. The warm glow of lantern light invites him deeper into Shellor, and the scent of food makes his stomach growl. Spices that dance with the mist, a warm rumble of quiet laughter from the nearby restaurant. But everyone’s movements are lithe and silent, even if their talking isn’t. Everyone in the town walks without a sound, like cats stalking their prey. Exactly how Etho walks, constantly spooking Keralis when he’s in the middle of reading or baking. 

It quiets down, and even Etho pauses. Grian and Keralis turn around, surprised to find Etho prostrating before a shrine. They never took him to be the god-worshipping kind. But they sit down next to him, looking at the shrine. It’s made of stone- how that got up here, neither of them can guess. Lanterns are kept aglow and the crescent shaped bowl protected with a carved wooden gazebo. After a few moments, Etho speaks. “Manys, god of the moon. Patron to Shellor, teacher to the art of stealth. I remember my first lesson to harness my power was to watch the full moonlight travel across the swampwater. Silent, but present.” 

“Is that how you learned to be a shadow ninja?” Keralis whispers while Grian lights a dying candle. 

“Nope.” Etho chuckles. “I definitely took a more...physical approach.” 

“Etho!” All three hermits stiffen at the shrill shriek of the shop owner a few bridges down. “I knew you’d come back! Don’t think I haven’t forgotten about all that candy you stole!” 

“Ah, that’s what you mean.” Grian muses, watching as Etho is given an earful by the man. It’s the first time Keralis and Grian have ever seen Etho embarrassed, the pale skin under his white hair blushing red, his hand rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Mr. Toku, I think Etho has heard well enough.” A warm voice, quiet but persistent, cuts through the berating tirade. Before her first syllable was uttered, Keralis and Grian knew this was someone of importance. An unusual sense of raging peace, like sitting next to a swollen waterfall in the middle of a forest, exudes from the woman like an aura. She turns, and immediately sweeps Etho into a hug. “It is good to have you home, my pupil.” 

“Hello Reverent Nama.” Etho squeaks, hardly able to breathe against such a tight hug. A weak smile appears on his face, the one person he missed most when he left being his teacher, the head monk of Shellor. Nama. He doesn’t even remember her real name, he’s always called her Nama. 

“Look at you, so tall! You grew like a shoot, Etho.” She grabs his cheek, looking at the scars on his face. “I still remember the day your magic first showed itself. Have you been using my teachings, anak ko?” 

“Nama, I remember it all. But you know me.” He offers a sly grin, but nods silently. “I still like to watch the moon, though.” 

“The best teacher, and the mother always with you.” Nama’s voice dips into a lower octave at her sagely advice, before rising back up as a smile creases her warm, deep toned skin. “But you must be starving, walking through the swamp. Come, bring your friends.” 

She waves her hands, blue and white robes beckoning the weary travelers deeper into the town. A glint of lantern light catches Grian’s attention, and his eyes go as wide as saucers at the sight before him. The biggest gong he’s ever seen in his life. Taller than Grian, even with his wings stretched high above his head, the silver metal glimmering like the moon at the center of the town. Archways decorate and dance around the massive instrument. Grian’s drawn to the gong like a moth to the flame. 

Only to be thwarted by Etho. He grabs Grian by the collar, dragging him back in line with Reverent Nama and the other monks. Keralis giggles and teases Grian even as they enter the raised, thatched house. Bowed roofs similar to the arches and pagodas they saw before protect angular, woven walls and open windows. The swamp breeze filters through the mat-strewn floor as Nama opens the sliding door. Nama disappears into an upper level, before returning with a steaming teapot and five different plates of food. The boys sit at the low table, suddenly alone with the leader of Shellor. Silent as shadows, her peers had disappeared. Like ninjas. “I assume this is not just a family visit.” 

“How did you know?” Keralis croons, sipping on the warm tea poured before him. His eyes light up at the fried, wrapped treat set on his plate. His massive bug eyes only unnerve Nama, repositioning in her seat at the sight of such strange friends Etho brought. 

“Etho isn’t exactly the visiting kind. A practical pupil, even to the day he left.” 

“Nama, you of all people know how to gather information. You see what the moon sees.” She nods at Etho’s words. It’s not hyperbole- it’s her magic. “Surely you have information about husk monsters attacking all over Lairyon.” 

“Why does that interest you, Etho?” Nama gazes over the rim of her teacup.

“We intend to stop it.” Grian states, flat and plain. Etho seethes, sending imaginary daggers at the blond angel before him. He needs to be more subtle than that! 

“Finally, someone to take up the mantle.” She responds. “I have heard worrisome things, are you three sure you can handle such a task?” When all of them nod, she continues. “Then you need to start here- husks have been attempting to enter Shellor for the past few days. They have broken through our mist barrier, but have been unable to reach the town. I do not think they will stop trying until they reach the bridges.”

“They want to steal your magic, your power. They’ll kill you all.” Etho growls. 

“Exactly as what my informants told me. Do you boys think you could defeat an army of mindless creatures?” She pauses, looking at their faces. Seeing the glint in their eyes and knowing. “Excuse me, I have underestimated you. It seems you have already done so before.” 

“We’ll need more than just your information, Reverent Nama. We need supplies, tools of stealth that only Shellor can create. We need to use every advantage we can find to stop these husks. To stop-”

“To stop Magistrate Dolios, yes.” Nama nods, a growl breaking through her neutral expression. “Whatever you and your friends need, I will be happy to give. But for now, eat! Tell me, anak ko, who are your friends here.” She leans over to Etho. “Is the one with the large eyes okay? Is he some sort of hybrid?” 

Etho chuckles, and welcomes the warm food of home into his body. He missed the taste of good palabok, wishing at least one other hermit could cook his hometown’s food like Nama could. He introduces Keralis, quickly explaining his magic, then moving onto Grian. Even Nama, in all her wise counselling, was shocked to learn he was an angel mage. She knew they existed, beneath the watchful eyes of the moon, but to see one in front of her? And in a guild as wayward as Etho describes? 

Their plates are filled as fast as they’re emptied, food appearing out of what felt like nowhere. Etho smiles as he hears laughter rise from his friends and teacher. He left Shellor because he felt restrained. But to be home? It felt freeing, now that he’s an adult. Now that he has his guild, he feels more connected to here than ever before. They continue talking well into the night, until the fog fades and the moon observes the quiet swamp. 

Nama closes her eyes, falling into a quiet meditation at the dinner table. But when her eyes open, it’s anything but calm. She rises so fast her knees almost spill the table over, robes fluttering like leaves in the wind. “They’re here. Oh gods, they’re already at the barrier.

“You wanted lessons in stealth? Well, lesson number one- don’t let your enemy see you.” Nama motions for another monk, and he casts his magic circle. In one deep breath, he inhales the magic. And a gust of wind from his lips blows out every single candle. Only the full moonlight bears illumination upon the town. 

And the distant crack of lightning, an ashen storm visible through the spindly cypress trees.

Townsfolk shuffle in the dark, accustomed but alarmed. Night is when Shellor is most alive, lanterns lit and moon in full view. Nama sends her monks to scout ahead, to be the first line of defense, before marching towards the center of town. 

Towards the gong. It reflects the moonlight, blue luminescence titillating across the silver instrument. A mallet the length of Nama’s arm is plucked from the arch, but she pauses. Looking over her shoulder, she sees Etho practically holding Grian back, the angle bouncing in his boots. Like so many of her other pupils, and who is she to deny him something so exciting? She hands the mallet into Grian’s hand. He wastes no time putting it to work. With wings unfurling and hovering at the center of the circle. One mighty reel backwards, he swings. The mallet strikes the metal, and both Grian and the gong reverberate in response. A low, loud ringing warns the entire town they’re under attack. Grian still feels the sensation of the strike in his arms even after he lands. 

“The husks aren’t after anything in particular- they just want as much magic as possible.” Etho warns, pulling free his kusarigama, watching the darkness. In the distance, a blood curdling howl of a banshee turns even his blood cold. He doesn’t want to face that beast on good terms, much less a creepy husk version. 

“How can you stop them?” Nama questions, dipping her arms into her robes. She doesn’t need a weapon to be dangerous. 

“There’s no crystal.” Keralis warns. “But there is a darkness storm.” He points to the distant canopy, black clouds roiling across the sky. 

“We just have to defeat them. One by one, it will weaken the storm and purge the land of their presence.” Grian flutters over the side of the bridge, looking down. Below, among the swamp water and cypress roots, monsters and mages scrabble up the aged cypress wood. Throwing themselves higher and higher, unlike Etho’s smooth agility to the town. “No matter what, don’t let your fighters get caught by the husks. They’ll turn into one.” 

“Stealth is our trade, angel.” Nama hums, arm reappearing and offering up supplies to the trio. Smoke bombs, firecrackers, magical climbing gear for Keralis, an enchanted mirror to Grian. “We shall do our best, but you three are clearly the masters in this battle.” 

Nama steps back, and bows. Pride swells in Etho’s chest, almost causing him to tear up. If he didn’t hear the snarls of darkness consumed being of pure anger, hatred, and power, he probably would’ve. He’s never seen Reverent Nama bow to anyone else before. 

And then she’s gone. Disappearing among her robes, the hermits next see her down at the roots. Battling with a cold rage, like sunlight reflecting off the moon. Etho hands a few smoke bombs to his friends, grinning. “Let’s raise hell, shall we?”

[incoherentbabblings]

Hi sent a question earlier but kinda messed it up sozs. What I meant to ask was that do you think that Tim and Steph being both robins at the exact same time would’ve worked. (Basically 2 robins working at the same time)

Honestly, I spend a good day every week mourning all the lovebird puns I could have made if they had the title at the same time. It could have been so cute and so cheesy. But then my grumpy hat falls on and... I dunno is the short answer. ‘Cause here’s my disjointed thought process:

There was apparently (according to a two decades old internet rumour mill) a proposal at one point that you can kind of see coming in the latter third of Dixon’s Robin run. Tim would drop Robin and potentially work with Ted Kord aka Blue Beetle for a bit. Ted pops up here and there in other bat books from time to time, and it was a thing that he had a health condition that would be life threatening if he continued to superhero it up, ergo, hey let Tim have a wack at it with Ted as a mentor? It was established that Tim was a pretty big fan of Ted, enough to make Dick go >:( in big brother mode (but I thought I was the cool one...) in which case, I think Steph was supposed to take on Robin. 

You can kind of see it in those later issues where Batman is actually taking the time to train and work with Steph, discussing what would become of Gotham when he inevitably couldn’t be Batman anymore (this is when Tim was supposed to be the best option which lol that went downhill fast), and Steph got the feeling that he’d never spoken of these things with anyone else. So I dunno, more evidence that Bruce’s yoyo-ing dickishness to her is utterly incomprehensible and driven by editorial. You don’t speak that (for lack of a better term) intimately about something if you hate the person or don’t want their company or...well, whatever Batman’s initial intentions were for Spoiler as a hero.

Tim would supposedly eventually return to the mantle, but having had a different (better) mentor and would have probably come out of it much more well rounded, encouraging his more hands on techie side of combat ‘cause that’s what Ted excelled at. Regardless, Steph certainly wouldn’t be forced out of it via firing/torture/death. Maybe they would have even had been Robin together for a while. 

This plan got shot down, Ted was murdered, Steph became Robin in an infinitely worse way, and Tim remained Robin probably beyond what was actually healthy for him... but at least we got Jaime out of it? Which perhaps we wouldn’t have if Tim moved to being Blue Beetle instead so... pluses and negatives all round to that plan. I really don’t know if it would have worked in practice. I don’t know what late 90s feelings were towards Tim as Robin and Steph as a character. I know she was well liked, but I don’t know if by that point Tim had become the Robin that 20 years later people still cling tightly too at the point of rejecting Steph, Damian and Duke as potential holders of the name.

I’m also of the opinion that Dick should yay or nay the wearer, so it would require him to look at Steph and go ‘yeah sure why the hell not two sounds cool’. So not just have it in Bruce’s hands. Which would have meant actually building up a relationship between Steph and Dick too. 

I dunno, I guess I get frustrated because there were a dozen and fifteen ways to have Steph be Robin, either at the same time as, or after Tim, and not have it be the sack of shit we got. 

Can two characters have the same title and exist concurrently? Realistically? Sadly, I don’t think so. Not in the long run. One always overshadows the other. Thinking of the Flashes, Dick and Bruce as Batman and currently (I may be proven wrong here) with the three ‘Batgirls’. Tim would have been the Robin, and Steph would have always been the derivative girl Robin. She wouldn’t have been the Robin like Dick, Jason, Tim and Damian all got to be.  

It could have worked? Maybe for an arc? An event? But something with a definite beginning, middle and end, where one of them would have stepped down by the conclusion. I don’t think the both of them being Robin concurrently in an ongoing would have worked. I think then, it would have not done Steph any favours in the long run. Which... neither really did what actually happened to her, so it’s all a bit of a moot point and all that...

But then... I want the lovebird puns. And I’m not a (good) writer. Perhaps they could have existed concurrently. Perhaps. Perhaps...

[the-fiction-witch]

I Hate You P2

TV SHOW: THE QUEENS GAMBIT COUPLE: BENNY X READER RATING: FUNNY

I laid my head on the door frame of the battered old Blue beetle listening to the engine hurry along the empty roads, the darkness interrupted by the waves of the streetlamps light that rushed over the head of the car. I tried to sleep but the trip had been taking so long that I had slept so much it was getting hard to stay asleep even if I was tried. I could hear occasionally tapping as Benny tabbed his rings against the wheel when he drove down the road.

"Y/n? are you sleeping?" He asks

"I was." I sighed

"Sorry"

"what do you want?"

"We're almost there" "You could have woke me when we where there"

"... I said I was sorry wifey" He says pulling me to rest my head on his shoulder, I smiled a little getting cosy on his shoulder with his nice soft shirt

"You're boney"

"thank you? I... I really don't know how to respond to that. Yes I am"

"You're a dumb husband" "I know" He smiled giving my head a kiss

"How much further to your house?"

"Apartment" he corrects

"apartment?" I asked and he nods ".... what floor?" I asked carefully

"..... a basement"

I took  a breath sitting up straight, "We are going... to a basement apartment?"

"Yes"

"We are not living in your apartment"

"why not? it's great"

"We are married"

"We're newlyweds. little basement apartment it's perfect for us"

"Fine" I sighed "Until we have the money for a house"

"We are not going to get a house in new York y/n"

"Yeah we will" "No we won't, it's ridiculously expensive. Rentals are insane why do you think I live where I do?"

"I'm not renting." I pout "What about when we are not newlyweds anymore? when we are a married couple, with a baby? You think I'm slumming it in some little cracker box with a baby?"

"No of course not if you get pregnant then we will get a house"

"If?"

"...When"

"Yeah I will" I smirked

"What about your place? I haven't actually ever heard you talk about it?"

"I live downtown with my friend Lisa. it's a first floor apartment with parking and a gardren"

"we could live there... that would be good actually I don't have parking"

"Lisa's not moving out any time soon"

"Fuck" "Yeah" "we could trade?"

"How so?"

"We move into yours Lisa has my old place?"

"we don't wanna live at my place, there's a lady with rat's next-door"

"So?"

"Like a lot of rats. like she has an open sewer and just feets what turns up in her garden"

"Ooohhhh.... yeah no"

"Why don't we move out of new york?"

Ooohhh that hit a nerve, he glared at me like I just fucking bitch slapped his mother "No"

"Why not? It's expensive, parking is a joke, it's either rainy or cold ninety percent of the time, and it's full of rats"

"and go where?"

"anywhere? you're a chess player, I am a poker player. Practically speaking we can live anywhere"

"I guess so"

"Didn't Beth just buy that big two bedroom house?"

"I am not moving to bum fucking Kentucky?" He argues

"Why not? all your friends live there?"

"I am not moving to Kentucky"

"Even if we could afford like a two, three bedroom house for our children?"

"No. I am not going"

"Fine" I sighed "But somewhere" I sighed

"somewhere... I'll think about it" he sighed "but we are staying here for a while" he says

"Yeah, for a while" I smiled "This place better be clean benny"

"....uhhhhhhhh"

"Well then we know what your doing when we get home"

"Okay" he sighs "To be fair when i left the apartment the situation was... considerably different,"

"Yeah it was" "when I left I was single, and lived on my own, and didn't really intend on bringing a lady back so"

"So it's a tip"

"Well you'll see"

"And now your coming home with a wife" "It's been a weird week"

When we parked up I gathered my stuff carrying my suitcase and my coat, I glared at benny a little as he picked up throwing his one bag over his shoulder he slightly rolled his eyes and picked up my other suitcases for me

"Thank you husband" I giggled

"Yeah, yeah" he sighed locking his car so I smiled and took his arm

"Lead the way husband"

"Are you going to keep calling me that?" He sighed and I nod "Fine, Come along then wifey" he smirked slapping my butt as he headed down the stairs I followed down into the darkness seeing a few doors

"WHich-" I began

"Down here" He calls from the other stairway down

"Really?"

"Yeah?"

"I am not going up and down these lugging groceries, Hell no" I sighed as I wondered down trying not to touch the foul smelling wall and less said about the handrail the better. the one light outside a dark metal door shining so brightly with that artificial sting, he unlocked the door pushing it open and flicking on a light switch, I followed him down as he put out stuff down on the floor slipping his jacket and hat onto a rack by the door, I peaked in seeing nothing but darkness. He wondered though clicking more lights on revealing the apartment and My now home.

it was fairly large I couldn't deny, the large door to my right, a small metal pole protecting me from the small drop down of about two steps, the rack of jackets and such on the wall with the light switch. I could see the little kitchen even if there wasn't much of it, a small four person dining table, books and book shelves on every surface, a old tattered leather chair and ottoman in what I would guess as the living space, with various black and white cushions. a few lamps stern around, as there was only maybe three beaten up celling lights, But the thing that drew my attention was the clutter around the place, clothes, chess books and various just... stuff.

"so?" He says rubbing the back of his neck a little "Welcome home wifey"

".... you expect me to live here!"

"Yeah"

"Why! is the shower! in the living room!"

"I'll be honest. I don't know"

"the sink and shower is in the living room, ohh god no what is the toilet in our bedroom?"

"no, the toliet is in there" he says point to a door to my left

"Oh thank god," I sighed "Bedroom? or do we sleep on the floor like hamsters?"

"There is a bedroom" He sighs showing me to the bedroom "Hang your clothes up in the closet. here's the bed and my tiny tv" he explained

"why is there a window in the bedroom?"

"I don't know" He shrugs "watching people have sex?"

"Benny!" I argued

"what! other then pervy reasons can you think of any reason for putting a window in a bedroom?"

"I guess if you had kids, so you can watch them without getting out of bed"

"But then they can also see you... making there siblings"

"true" I sighed "we are not going to be living here long"

"If you say so wifey" He shrugs "You wanna divorce me?"

"I'm not gonna lie.... I'm thinking about it" I sighed "I need to powder my nose"

"Alright, I'll get dinner going" he says so I headed over to the bathroom seeing the little toilet and sink, having a look

"AHHHHHH! BENNY!" I screamed

"what's wrong?"

"YOU ARE CLEANING THIS BATHROOM THIS ISTANT! OR YOU ARE GETTING THE MOST CUT THROAT! TAKE ALL DIVORCE!" I scream running from the bathroom

"Ooooh? giving me a divorce so early darling?" he smirked

"Clean.. or I will make your life a living hell"

"Yeah how?"

"I will fill this apartment with femanine nick nacks and scented candles faster then you can beat luke at speed chess now clean this bathroom!"

"No" He smirked

"Clean it... or I am never sucking your dick again"

"You've never sucked my dick"

"I haven't?"

"Not that I recall"

"Then I won't ever suck your dick"

"Nope"

"Benny... clean the bathroom"

"No"

"Husband!" "wife!"

"Clean it" I sighed "and you can have sex with me"

"what kind" He said clearly thinking about it

"Missionary, mild forplay, and I'll let you go without a condom"

"... Deal" He shrugs going to get the cleaning stuff out from under the sink

"Umm all good marriage is compromise"

"Or bribery"

"and you just lost your without condom privileges"

"Oww!"

"should leave leant to keep your mouth shut benny" I giggled taking my stuff to his bedroom and starting to make myself at home putting my stuff everywhere making space for all my stuff once the bathroom was clean I actually powdered my nose had some food and headed to bed with my book

"so... this is life now?" He asks leaning on the door frame

"Yep"

"... we are really married and living together"

"Yep" I giggled "Feel free to divorce me at any time Benny"

"Ohh no, you got so close to divorcing me already no way I'll break before you" he laughs coming in and starting to get undressed

"Ohh just you wait till I get pregnant"

"You think I'm getting you pregnant?"

"You will," I giggled

"will I now" He smirked climbing into bed with me "Hi"

"Hi"

"sooo... I believe there was? wifely promises of sexual favours if I cleaned the bathroom?" he smirked trying to kiss me

"There was" I smiled shutting my book giving his lips a kiss "But I have a headache" I smirked putting my book on the side laying down and stealing as much cover as possible "welcome to having a wife Benny"

"I hate you" He sighed pulling the cover away so he could spoon me

"I hate you too" I smiled giving him a kiss before getting as cosy as I could in his bed.

[ithehellisbucky]

Butterfly

Bucky Barnes x Reader

Requested: None

Word Count: 3k

Warnings: Fighting, angst, fluff, implied PTSD, trust issues, cussing 

Summary: It’s you and Bucky’s one year anniversary, and Bucky has some doubts about your feelings. Based on the song Happiness is a Butterfly by Lana Del Rey.

Author’s Note: I didn’t have time to edit this because I wanted to get it out to you guys, so sorry if there are any errors.

~

Do you want me, or do you not?

I heard one thing, now I'm hearing another

Today was the day. You and Bucky had officially been dating for a year. One year of happiness, despite many setbacks. You're not going to lie, Bucky's line of work scared the hell out of you. You were afraid of the Winter Soldier, but then you realized he wasn't the Winter Soldier. He was Bucky Barnes. 

Bucky was afraid of this relationship. Afraid of the weight it held in his life. He never said it out loud, only in his eyes. When he said he loved you there was fear written across his features. Not because he didn't mean it, but for fear that you wouldn't say it back.

At one point you thought that Bucky didn't want to be in a relationship with you, that he just wanted to love you. But then you came back to your senses and realized one very important thing: that just because something was hard for a person it didn't mean they didn't want it. 

Happiness is a butterfly

Try to catch it like every night

You were in your Volkswagen beetle, singing loudly to a song from the 30s with Bucky next to you. One hand on the steering wheel, the other outside the window. You belted out another verse as you look across to see Bucky singing his heart out, which causes you to burst out into a fit of giggles.

"What?" He asks, hearing the noise and turning around to face you. 

"Nothing, you were just singing loudly." You say through another chuckle. Bucky leans and presses a kiss to your temple, and you wondered why you had ever doubted that he wanted to be in this relationship.

You were driving to a field, in the middle of nowhere. It was pretty funny, you were driving past hundreds of fields, all to get to one field. Trespassing laws are messing with your head. 

It took another 15 minutes to reach your destination, and once you did... Well, it was less than you imagined. There was trash all over the ground, and it smelled of urine and alcohol. Your best guess was that some teenagers threw a party, as there was a long since abandoned grey truck with a keg shoved behind the steering wheel.

"Fuck." You mutter under your breath, kicking an empty beer bottle with your footing. After you kicked it, your realize you stubbed your toe, and let out another "fuck."

"You okay doll?" Bucky asks, walking over to you.

"This place is literal garbage." Bucky walks over to you, setting down the picnic basket and engulfing you in his large frame. 

"It might not be all garbage. It's probably not all garbage..." He looks over his shoulder, squinting to see something. "Half a mile."

Bucky entwines his hand in yours and begins to walk towards the direction he pointed. The sun was beating down, so you pulled out a sun-hat from the bag you were carrying that was full of blankets.

"Do you have one of those for me?" Bucky asks with a chuckle. You take off the hat and plop it onto Bucky's head.

I just wanna dance with you

Another ten or so minutes of walking left you in the middle of a field, no garbage in sight, sitting by a tree. Bucky set down the basket and reached his hands above his head, letting his back crack. You set down your bag and pull out the blankets, laying them down under the shade of the tree. 

"This is a nice spot, don't you think?" Bucky asks as he looks up into the sun.

"Yeah, not as good as the keg truck, but still pretty nice."

Bucky laughs and sets the basket down on the ground. He gently tackles, carefully making sure you land softly on the blanket, and that he doesn't put his full weight on your body. "You're amazing." He says as he presses a kiss to your nose.

"And your okay." You exclaim as you kiss his forehead. Bucky has a confused and hurt look on his face when he sits up. "I'm just kidding." You sit up to face Bucky. "You are the best person I've ever met." You through your arms around his neck and press a sloppy kiss onto Bucky's lips.

Bucky leans towards you, putting a hand on the ground behind you to stabilize the two of you. He deepens the kiss and slips his tongue into your mouth. You giggle and return the favor. You make out for another minute or two before pulling away uttering the words: "I'm hungry."

You sit up and Bucky opens the basket, handing you a sandwich. You take it out of the plastic bag and sink your teeth into it, wondering how a simple grilled cheese could be this delicious. "Mm, this is good." 

"Is it?" He asks, biting into the sandwich. "It is!" 

"Now aren't you happy I made them with brie?" You respond through a mouthful. 

"Definitely." You shift your weight onto your left hand as you lean back. You look back over to Bucky, seeing him with his legs in front of him hunched over his lunch.

Rays of sun were filtering their way through the branches of the trees, casting a glowing light onto Bucky. When you thought that everything was perfect, Bucky starts staring into the distance, a detached gaze in his eyes.

Looking into his eyes, I think he's already hurt

He's already hurt

"You okay baby?" You ask, placing your hand on his jawbone.

Bucky's head quickly snapped up to face you, and a smile promptly returned to his face. "Yeah, I'm fine."

You put on a fake smile and try to pretend that you're not concerned. Even though you are. You always are.

The sun dipped lower into the sky, the time went from twelve to one, to two, and then eventually to four. You were laying on you back, one hand in Buckys and the other on attempting to block your eyes from the sun's rays, which were carefully weaving themselves through the branches of the trees to hit your face.

"It's a really pretty day." Bucky rolls over to face you and you do the same.

"Not as pretty as you." He says as he leans in and kisses your nose. You giggle and put your hand on Bucky's cheek, as he grins.

"You kind of checked out a bit earlier is everything okay." Your tone sounds nonchalant, but Bucky can see the worry in your eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it." Bucky pulls away from your grasp and sits up, staring dead straight in front of him and avoiding your gaze.

"Well, I do." You say, sitting up as well to be eye-level with him. "And I think we should."

Bucky's body language shows that he doesn't want to talk. His back hunches and he hangs his head down, something he always does when he's uncomfortable. It almost makes you cry every time you see it because it conveys that Bucky is ashamed of something, even though he's done nothing wrong.

"You didn't do anything bad, I'm just concerned about you." You move your hand to Bucky's back, rubbing it gently. Your breath catches in your throat when he flinches upon your touch. "You don't have to talk about it, but I think it would help."

You pause, hoping to hear some kind of sign that he's okay, but none come. "I just want to help." Bucky turns towards you, and you see a look of turmoil on his face. "Because I love you." 

Bucky's eyes look down, trying to avoid your gaze. "You do know I love you..." You pause your brow furrowing from the fear of an answer to the question you are about to ask. "Right?"

I just wanna hold you tight down the avenue

I just wanna dance with you

Bucky doesn't say anything and just continues to avoid your gaze. "I love you so much. I don't help you when you have a nightmare, or stick with you even when you go on missions that last weeks because I feel obligated. I do that because I love you."

Bucky looks like he's holding back tears, he purses his lips and has a wild and anxious look in his eyes. "I want to believe you. I do I- I just can't trust anyone, I wish I could doll. God, you have no idea how much I wish I could." 

You lean in and press a kiss to his head, trying to do anything to make him believe you. A tear trickles down your face, hitting Bucky's hair and making him flinch when it reached his skin. "I don't know what I could do to convince you. Please tell me, honey, please."

"I don't know," Bucky says, a single tear trickling down his face as he does so. "I wish I knew."

You pull away and start walking in the opposite direction. "Wh- where are you going?" Bucky asks, bolting to his feet as he walks towards you.

You quicken your pace and quickly wipe away some tears using the back of your hand. You can't deal with it. How could the love of your life not know you love him? How could he do that to you?

"Doll, wait!" Bucky exclaims as he starts to catch up to you.

You start running, it's not the direction you came from, and you have no idea where it leads. Bucky runs after you, and you keep on going faster until your full-on sprinting. 

Bucky catches up to you (damn that super-soldier endurance) and catches your wrist, trying to pull you back towards him. "Don't you fucking touch me!"

Bucky pulls away, shock and fear spread across his face. Your mouth moves to form an apology, and then you realize that you shouldn't give him one. "I love you. How do you not know that? How can you not trust me?" You exclaim through your wretched sobs.

"It's not my fault doll," Bucky says, trying to place the blame on anyone besides himself- and he was right.

"I know, it's just-" You pause and take in a deep breath. "It just hurts to know that the person who you love more than anything doesn't think you do.

"This past year has been the best of my entire life. And hearing you say that you don't think it's real hurts me Bucky. I said I love your first. If you said it first I would understand you being skeptical, but I said it. I love you, James Buchanan Barnes. And dear god I hope you know that.

"And if you don't then I'll of wasted a year of my life on nothing." You pause, letting more tears slide past your cheeks. Bucky is standing in silence, a look of shame on his face. "If you asked me to marry you I would, if broke up with me I'd protest. I'm not with you for any other reason other than I love you."

Baby, I just wanna dance 

With you 

Bucky looks like he's about to speak, but you cut him off. "And I know you can't control who you trust, but can you at least try?" You pause, a daunting realization floating to the surface of your brain. "Do- do you not love me? Is that what this is about?"

Bucky takes your hands in his and then begins to speak. "I love you, I love you so much. I'm just afraid that you'll leave me, like- like Steve did."

"I'm never going to leave you." You're breathing heavily. "Can I tell you something I didn't tell you before?"

A look of fear dawns in Bucky's eyes. "When I first saw you, you were tearing a man out of a car, and you shot him between the eyes." Bucky pulls his hands away, whispering no to himself a thousand times.

"When I met you again I had no idea who you were," You pause, pursing your lips as you cried. "And when you told me I was terrified. I was terrified of the Winter Soldier." You take a deep breath and shakily look up to face Bucky. 

"But you aren't the Winter Soldier. I didn't fall in love with the man I saw killing someone, I fell in love with you." You step towards Bucky and you grabbed one of his hands in both of yours. "Even then I still was apprehensive. I couldn't get the image of- of the Winter Soldier shooting someone in the head."

You pause to take a long and shaky breath, looking up to see Bucky's panic-filled eyes filled to the brim with tears. "I couldn't walk away though. I loved you too much, and there is no one I'd rather spend time with. If that's not reason enough to make you believe I love you, then nothing is."

If he's as bad as they say, then I guess I'm cursed

Looking into his eyes, I think he's already hurt

Bucky wraps his arms around you and lets tears spill out onto your shoulder. "I'm sorry doll, I'm so sorry." You lean your head against the side of his and let your tears overwhelm you. "I believe you. I believe you."

You smile and laugh slightly, so happy that Bucky can open his heart and trust you. 

"I'm looking forward to spending forever with you, my love." Bucky leans towards you and kisses your lips passionately.

You smile against the kiss, and Bucky does the same. His tongue sneaks inside your mouth, and your tongues battle for dominance- a fight that Bucky quickly wins.

You feel his arms wrap around your hips, and suddenly he's picking you up. You wrap your legs around his torso, trusting him completely. One hand is wrapped around your waist, and the other at the top at the section where your back meets your neck.

You put both hands behind his head and lean in closer to deepen the kiss. You stand with Bucky for at least five minutes, the only thing on each of your minds in loving each other.

Every day is a lullaby

Try to catch it like lightning

"Baby." You breathlessly exclaim as you pull away from Bucky.

"What is it doll?" He says as he moves onto kissing your neck.

"I think we should head back." You say, realizing how late it's getting and how you definitely shouldn't stay out here much longer. 

Bucky glances down at his watch and promptly says: "Oh fuck, we should definitely head back."

You and Bucky walk hand in hand for the first half of the trip back, then Bucky eventually picks you up and starts to carry you on his back. You were kind of shocked by how far you'd gone in you're desperate attempt to flee from Bucky. At least three-quarters of a mile, if not more.

As Bucky shifts from one foot to the other as he walks (even though it's not as much as you'd think, years of training had left him with a very even walk), you have a conversation. You're hands rest in Bucky's long hair, twisting and curling every strand. 

"I'm sorry I didn't believe you. But I do know. I hope you know that."

You twist one of your fingers around another one of Bucky's locks. "It's okay, we're all good now baby. I'm glad that we have all of those secrets behind us now."

"So... We're going to have a very lengthy conversation about it when we get home?" Bucky asks, chuckling lightly as he does so.

"Oh yeah, definitely." You exclaim in a similar tone. 

The two of you continue in silence, comfortable with each other's companionship. 

While you're looking ahead of you, you see a tree in the distance. "Babe, I think I see our picnic spot."

Buck squints to see where you're looking. "Yeah, I see it; you sure did run a long way." He exclaims, chuckling slightly at how far you ran.

"I'm pretty fast." He shimmies you off of his back, much to your shock. "Bucky!"

"Let's see who's faster!" Bucky exclaims as he starts sprinting.

You giggle as you take off after him, and it becomes vividly clear that he is much, much faster than you.

Bucky keeps on running until he is almost to your picnic spot and then comes to a screeching halt. He's more than 10 yards ahead of you, and you can't see what he's looking at.

I just wanna hold you tight down the avenue

I just wanna dance with you

You look in front of Bucky when you catch up to him, and see the glorious sight to behold. 

There were butterflies. Everywhere. At least three hundred butterflies were flying everywhere you could see. They were in the tree, on the ground, in your basket, everywhere.

"Oh my god, Bucky. Are you seeing this?" You say as you walk up to him and take your hand in his. 

He squeezes your hand and responds with: "Yeah, yeah I'm seeing this."

You turn to face him and watch as several tears leak out of his eyes. At first, you're concerned, but your face quickly softens when you realize that they're happy tears.

Bucky turns to you and wraps his arm around your waist and you put yours over his shoulder. "I love you." He whispers, pressing a kiss to your head.

"I love you too." 

You put out your hand in hopes that a butterfly will land on it. One does. You slowly move your hand towards Bucky's face, putting the finger with the butterfly on it on his nose. Just as you expected, the butterfly moves from your finger onto Bucky.

Bucky smiles as the butterfly rests on his nose, and you can tell that Bucky is going to be alright. Because Bucky can finally be happy.

Baby, I just wanna dance

With you

With you

My Masterlist

Requests are open!

~Taglists are open~

Permanent Tags: @natasha-danvers​

Marvel:

Young Justice:

[alovevigilante]

Me: Ok. I’ve made an executive decision on behalf of all of us...

Me also: are you an executive?

Me: yes.

Me also: at what company?

Me: ours. Yours and mine.

Me 3: and mine too!

Me: yes, at threes company, ok? Will you just listen to me? (The other me’s sit, silent) thank you. Now, we have all come to terms with the fact that we’re 46 and still not sure where the hell we fit in in society, let alone a career to help aid it, right?

Other me’s: yes, Agreed, (hub hub etc...)

Me: ok, good. Well, not good, but yes, we all concur. Now, we, collectively, are a fucking mess, so I propose this: we start from scratch. At zero point, ok? Ok! Great!

Me also: um, question?

Me: yes?

Me also: I don’t mean to be a contrarian or anything, but we’ve been here on earth now for 46 years, and we’ve experienced a butt ton. So, how do you just scrap it all, and have that be something that’s widely accepted by society as a whole?

Me 3: yeah! Cause I saw this one “I love Lucy” where she couldn’t even audition for a tv show without having some experience.

Me: yeah, but we’re completely walking away from the entertainment industry...

Me also: yeah, but what are we going to do? Walk into a different profession, let’s say, being an astrophysicist, and they say, “hey lady, where are your degrees and your on the job training, & oh, I see here on your non resume that you have never even taken a physics class. Were you in a coma for 50 years or something?” And then we’ll look like an asshole.

Me: good point. So, since we can’t start at a zero point, how do we make life ok from where we’re at if we’re feeling lost and confused about what to do next?

Me 3: I dunno.

Me also: well, maybe we can mediate.

Me: eh. You feel like that?

Me 3: not particularly. Me also?

Me also: I was hoping one of you would do it for me...

Me: no.

Me 3: no.

Me also: fine. Any other ideas?

Me: well... how about thinking about shit.

Me also: that’s what got us in this mess to begin with!

George Carlin: hello ladies! May I be of some assistance here?

Me 3: why not? We’re plum out of ideas...

George: ok, well, let’s simplify a bit, Kari, singular, let’s chat.

Kari: hey George.

George: love the pic you choose to rep me.

Kari: yeah. You’re being a lil Italian when you talk with the garlic clove shaped hand you got going there. 🤌 🧄 🇮🇹

George: Yeah. I’m diggin it. But you know, in your mind, I’m one of the reasons you’re here in this ass place.

Kari: you are? how do you figure?

George: people don’t like the fact that you write on behalf of the deceased.

Kari: well, Tim burton did it in beetle juice and a lot of folks love him..

George: ok Kari, can I be Frank... Sinatra-like with you?

Kari: I dunno, can you?

George: yeah. Just pretend I’m sporting a fedora, a cigarette in one hand, and throwing my jacket back over my shoulder with the other looking at you coyly.

Kari: ok... if you want to... but is the cigarette in his pocket? Cause if it’s lit, that shits gonna hurt his Netherlands eventually....

George: (like Sinatra) no. Now listen up, baby, it’s not normal to write on behalf of a dead person that was not a character, and that whom was once alive. People get touchy about it. We have friends still alive that knew us and probably don’t dig it.

Kari: I see.

George: so it seems like we’re at a crossroads here. What do you want to do about it?

Kari: do about what?

George: your writing! It’s freakin everyone out! Kari, look, you know how normal Hollywood is, ok? They are all normal, non creative, in the box gladly thinker kinda people...

Kari: they are?

George: yes!!! Come on, keillor, get with the program! You are too far fetched for these folks! They want normalcy, and sameness, and only all the shit that’s ever been shat!

Kari: George, are we talking about Hollywood California, here? Or Hollywood podunk nah? Because Hollywood California is where all the creatives go to create!

George: right! And guess what, Kari Keillor! You are not welcomed in Hollywood, California! They have a sign up with your picture on it at the airport that says, “beware! No to this woman! Too much with the weirdness! She writes dead people!”

Kari: I write live people too... hey, do I have a cowboy hat and a mustache on for my mugshot on that sign?

George: nice one Cookie Monster! Well, Keillor why not?! You may as well, because this story has as much validity as any other story you make up and make worse in your head cause you’re sensitive about of your writing...

Kari: you’re the one that said all that shit! You planted it in my head!!!

George: so I did, but remember, I’m a facet of you. So, decide. Is there any validity to what I/you said?

Kari: how the hell should I know?! I haven’t been in lax recently...

George: right! So you never know until you try talking to some people.

Kari: I’ll call the airport... Listen, George, I’ll be perfectly Frank Sinatra with you now, ok.?

Don rickles: no mere woman can be like ole blue eyes...

Kari: Shut your misogynistic, ass-kissing pie hole, Pickles.

Pickles rickles: oh fuck... she does it to me every time...

Frank Sinatra:, you tell him, baby!

Kari: I’m 46. (Back to George Carlin) Anyway, look George, I have had a few successful people from my entertainment past either shun or block me for no apparent reason, so I’m pretty sure that I’m not well received again, for whatever reason... probably because I wrote the truth about a second city class I took when I was 16, about the current state of snl which I am completely unfamiliar with because I do not watch it, and the way comedy has changed or not over the last many years. Come to think of it, maybe it was because I love frank oz, and frank was mad cause I wrote that belushi John was teasing him and calling him an asshole, another ironic statement because clearly frank oz, NOT an asshole, was many of the muppets for years, and Frank is one of my idols! (Not a true central religious figure to me, but someone I admire a lot...)

Frank Sinatra: who loves ya, baby??

Kari: (to Frank) kojak. (Back to herself) Or it could be because i called bill murray, the beloved patron saint of comedy, an asshole like me, yes, I said like ME, out of jest and irony, because yes, he cared about the kid in meatballs making friends, ok?! That’s probably it. & yes, i was kinda stoned when I wrote it, and also yes, I still can’t figure out why the movie was ducking named “meatballs”, cause there wasn’t an Italian to be seen in it! Ok?! And come to think of it bill as Peter venkman in ghostbusters 2, written in part, by him I think but let’s just say yes cause it supports my point, called all of New York City and it’s tri state area, all 3 million people, miserable assholes, and they took a head count, & they still (probably mostly) all love him! & that shit was good (I love that movie so much) and it was made in 1989, and that was a long ass time ago, ok? And some of those people, have procreated since then, and again, they all love bill Murray and now those “miserable asshole’s” kids, ALSO love Bill now! Double the miserable assholes! Why?! Because he’s funny, and much like me when I’m being tongue and cheek, he didn’t mean for people to take the shit he says seriously! See for yourself! https://youtu.be/t1gkRAWvxOs (1:15 on)

So yes!!! I just think people are not into that kind of talk from me and me alone, even though it wasn’t coming from a mean or spiteful place. It was coming from a place of love for my craft, and of both frank oz, and bill Murray. The rest, as I say once again... I dunno....

George: Kari, frank just told you he loves you, and you blatantly ignored him...

Kari: no, he asked who loved me. He didn’t say he loved me.

George: Keillor, stop being so mean to the dead crooners, ok?

Kari: pickles isn’t a crooner! He’s a ye olde well paid curmudgeon who made fun of everyone like a jerk fach.

George: um, Kari...

Kari: no, ok? No! The difference between me and pickles, besides everything under the sun other than the fact we’re both human, is the fact that I am pointing out the obvious hypocrisy of the way we are set up as society, and wanting to heal it within myself to make it a more palatable world for me and my family and friends and acquaintances to live in. And pickles thought making fun of people was ok. What royal lineage did pickles come from that he’s able to rip on everyone the way he did? And even if he was of a royal bloodline so fucking what?! And dude got paid to be mean! And normal people made him rich and famous! And how did that become prevalent, let alone celebrated in this world?! Roast em! Yes! Hilarious.

Dean Martin: oh noooo... hey, listen pally...

Kari: dean, don’t get me started, ok? Cause I like you, I really do, but you know how I feel about that shit... Listen, Dean, you left a legacy here that was mostly great, but in my opinion needs a lil tweaking. Instead of “roasts” which people do to this day, and I can’t see how it can make the honoree feel anything other than like major ass, we should have “toasts” (copyright Kari keillor 3/19/21 actually before this date but I never published publicly...)

Pickles rickles: toasts?!? What is THAT supposed to mean?!

Kari: it means, my curious lil ornery pickles, that instead of roasting someone and being a mean rotter egg to them, you can “toast” them. Cheers to you, honoree, we salute you, in a hilarious way, by being honest about you but not vicious, viper like, and cruel. It’s where everyone laughs together cause it’s not a character assassination, instead of ripping on someone. It’s being funny, and yes, in a KIND and uplifting way. Where you actually celebrate the person being honored. Now, will that take a lil more brain power then the go-to usual jerk fach? Yes. But, it’s a challenge I hope everyone will accept for the good of all of us. Cause I guarantee that no one walks out of a roast feeling great. And if they do, cause they thought they killed or whatever, they probably did. And not in a good way. And that, again, is ass. No one wins. It’s a short lived feeling, the feeling of “one upping” a person. It never makes you feel better about you in the long run.

Dean: I see. I think I’ll go work on my volare now...

Kari: see?!? Now THAT I like! It’s not at anyone’s expense!

George: oh shit.... kari.... Why do you give a fuck about all this?

Kari: you know why George? Cause this has become our accepted collective energy! The haves and the have nots! Take away your money and what have you got?! Who are you, without the people who have made you who you are?! People, make other people in the 3D reality we live in. So take away everyone’s cash money, homes, clothes, and all the cars, and all the shit, and what do ya got? A bunch of naked humans starring at our different body bits, ok?! We’re All the f’n same. So think about it. What are we each individually contributing energetically to the whole of us? What message are we sending the next generations In our every day lives? I’ll tell you what message. Whatever we feel about ourselves individually both good and bad. THAT’S what energy we all give, and receive from one another. That’s what we’re teaching the kids. They model themselves after how we feel, and how we choose to think, and how we decide to act toward others. So let’s all collectively recognize that, and how we treat other human beings and wake up first inside ourselves then beyond ourselves so we can all make the whole, better.

I am not an asshole or a human joke or any other kind of joke. I’m not going to cry over the fact that I’m not accepted by people who’s energies don’t match mine. And by the by, no one is a joke, no matter who they are, or what their socioeconomic standing is. So I don’t wear an ascot and a smoking jacket, and a neck full of gold chains and chest hair, holding a whiskey on the rocks with an umbrella in it saying “see that?! be somebody!” ok?! I’m not Steve Martin in the jerk, ok? https://youtu.be/tBfXTyzaUfQ

I’m not even close to Hollywood! I live in the Midwest! I’m Kariwood, ok? And I’m not even kari wood, I’m no woods, ok? cause I’m pretty much never in the woods or the outdoors for that matter, so much so that I just purchased a sweatshirt that says, “indoorsy” on it, ok? True story! So yeah. Cause one time I was in Wisconsin in the woods, and I was thinking, “look at me! I’m in the woods! Weird, no?!” (Cause never in the woods, but I thought, I’ll give it a shot! What’s the worst that can happen?) And guess what? Despite my shower the night before, I felt something on the base of my skull the next morning, and I picked out a really nasty, creepy and scary tick. And it was alive, and disgusting, and wiggly. And I started screaming. And I am still freaked out to this day about it. And that happened at least 17 years ago. And I didn’t like it. So that’s how “non woods-y” I am... I’m not even a fan of woodsy the owl, ok?

So I don’t know how I feel about all that. All this to say that I am definitely not Hollywood, but yes, I am included, as a “somebody”. I may not be an award winning, keillor, but I am still somebody, and I may not be rich and famous, but yes, I am somebody, and I may have been on one trajectory and now I do t know what the heck I am now, ok? It’s true, and yes, I’ve posted this before and I’ll keep posting it until everyone in me gets on board with it, yes! I am still somebody because yes, dear me, we are all this: somebody! : https://youtu.be/tu0lNcrZjG8

George: hard to argue with that.

Kari: eh. You know what I am, George?

George: yes, Kari. I know what you are. But do you?

Kari: well, I feel, like I’m one of those kids on Sesame Street sometimes, looking up at and intently listening to Jesse Jackson, wondering how to get from small to big, and from where I am, to the success that he reps, you know? The importance of being admired by many. Having a big platform to play on. A huge soapbox to stand on, you know?

George: yes. I get it, Kari, I really do. And we’ve all been there. But everyone’s story about themselves, is different. How we all got to where we are, was our own personal trajectory that we designed with our beliefs. And our thoughts. There’s no set pattern or manual to follow. The only energy you must follow, is your passion and your joy, aka the love. That’s it. So, if you want to be, and decide to be, you ARE Hollywood,. Because Hollywood isn’t a specific person or group of people, it’s a place, and an energy. Hollywood is what you make it to be with how you view it. You don’t have to “be” Hollywood to be in Hollywood...

Kari: you said I wasn’t allowed in Hollywood..

George: you may not be. All I’m saying, is that you are whatever you decide you are. The end.

Kari: well, am I or not? Cause I don’t want to go and be turned away. Besides, I love visiting olvera st.

George: Its a fine street, it is. Great margaritas... listen Kari, you cannot achieve anything in this life that you don’t truly believe is in the realm of your possibility. So yes! You can be, and pretty much are are Hollywood keillor, even if it’s in the Midwest in your own home.. You are creative, and love the arts, and are nutsy, and ballsy, and you may hold the title as being the first person to ever separate the two, and bring them back together in a scote sack, ok? So keep writing, and be yourself.

Kari: I dunno. But what I do know is this: I did it again...

George: did what?

Kari: reactivated all the shit memories and feelings from the past that I’ve felt about my career, allowing myself to relive all those fun feels of inadequacy and upset alllll over again.

George: aww, it’s happened to the best of us. Listen Kari, you are, in my humble not so humble opinion, since I’m still you, a loving person. So you reflect that way; with humor, and yes, absurdist, surreal comedy.

Kari: well, I’ll try.

George: You already do. Your credentials are superfluous. Your love and support of you no matter what you do moving forward is what you’ll feel when you choose to, and it’s available anytime you want to feel it. And when you feel that, it really doesn’t matter what you do.

Kari: ok, well, thanks George. It’s nice to know I have you around.

George: Kari, you were once told that you are golden, no?

Kari: well, I was told that I’ll be golden at some point moving forward doing whatever it is I choose to do.

George: right. So, when are you going to decide to experience that?

Kari: hopefully soon.

George: Kari, why do you chop to talk to and write about us “passed over folk”?

Kari: I dunno. I guess it’s cause I love and miss you guys in theory, even though I didn’t know you personally. And I like to re-experience your energy, as I appreciated and admired it. It helps me feel better.

George: you’re now golden.

Scene.

Appendices: if you choose to perform this scene, good luck. I’d like you to do it all in one breath, if you are a more advanced, and professional actor. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣💕💕💕💕