#being disabled is bullshit

[dogbunni]

being Unwell™ really fucking sucks bc what do you MEAN I can't get top surgery bc my blood pressure is that of dropping a mentos into a 2l bottle of coke and then screwing the lid on real tight??????? my titties though???

[monachopsis-11]

People always talk about how childhood autistic traits can be troubling and problematic for people (especially allistic parents) but how about ways childhood autistic traits can be helpful and convenient for parents? I’m putting some examples below from my childhood.

- my need for routines was helpful to my mom and made her life easier

- my ability to hyperfocus on interests and solitary activities allowed my parents to attend to my sister

- my preference for being with adults who were more predictable made me easier to handle

- I had a very strong internal sense of right and wrong that made me easy to reason with as long as I was given a reasonable explanation

- my difficulty expressing my emotions and internalizing them instead made me seem low maintenance

- compared to my sister who is very reactive my atypical responses weren’t noticeable

- because I was so independent I was easy to leave alone and overlook

- because my traits weren’t disruptive to my parents I was just seen as ‘mature,’ ‘smart,’ and ‘an old soul.’

- even though I was only social when people interacted on my terms I didn’t avoid people so I wasn’t seen as antisocial

- I talked so much that if I had a day I was struggling no one noticed because they were just used to me being chatty

- I had a decent early childhood before things got really challenging so my meltdowns weren’t bad or often at that age

- by the time I was at an age where those things would stand out I was more prone to disassociation and then having a meltdown when I was alone so they didn’t know

If anyone has any childhood autistic traits that were convenient to their parents and overlooked because of it please let me know in the comments! ⬇️

[themathomhouse]

this disability pride month, stop making jokes about people in wheelchairs standing up or walking.

can I stand and walk? sure, for a short while and with pain. the consequences for trying to be out all day without a wheelchair are that I'll be in bed for the rest of the week, too tired and in too much pain to move.

but the government won't give me my own wheelchair because they have the same attitude as these jokes - I can stand up, so I don't need one. exercise is good for you, you should walk!

it keeps me trapped in the house, unable to do anything more than short stints anywhere without borrowing or hiring a wheelchair - one that causes me pain to sit in and relies on someone to push me (usually with difficulty), because they're not going to have a high-end chair for that sort of thing.

it's not a miracle that a wheelchair user can stand or walk. it's something we should aspire to see more often.

[ocpder]

Non-traumagenics stop acting oppressed for being a system/disabled when you are not disabled because you're not a system challenge

[deusluxuria]

( content notes: big ableism, violence against autistic people )

rewatching SDC again right now. and somehow back when i wrote some posts about jotaro being autistic and therefore having to physically defend himself at school a fair amount (i.e. keeping a lead pipe hidden up one of his sleeves, for one), i missed the fact that SDC literally opens up with holly hearing about jotaro getting in a fight. like it's already canon that it's a common occurrence for people to try and knock his teeth out.

[batwynn]

Sending this out with special emphasis for folks who may not feel and/or express emotions the same way as neurotypicals expect, who often get told this. You deserve to be loved.

[brucewaynehater101]

There needs to be an Oracle movie

Barbara Gordon and her time as Batgirl. The subtle implications of misogyny (from criminals, emergency services, social media, etc.) and her struggles of being slightly outcast from the Bats (maybe not intentionally, but it's still felt). Despite that (and how hard the role is), she admits to feeling alive and powerful as Batgirl. She loves her ability to help Gotham, the city her dad tries so hard to shape up to be better.

Then the Joker shoots Barbara. He doesn't shoot Batgirl, doesn't even know it's Batgirl that's being injured, but he shoots Barbara because she's the commissioner's daughter. Her life changing injury isn't even about her.

There's the hopelessness, the grief, the sense of loss, and then Jason dies.

The Bats, try as they might to be there for her, are drowning in their own grief. They can't be there for her even if they wanted to.

She's wasting away with the realization that she's lost everything and her father is bending under the weight of supporting her and his job as commissioner.

Slowly, an idea comes to her. Slowly, when she starts looking out at Gotham's skyline and sees the clock tower, she begins to pull herself back together.

It's not an easy process, and she does return to depressive spirals and bed rotting, but she starts to have more decent days than bad. She's puts away her first criminal as Oracle. She becomes a feared force the Bats can turn to for help.

The end of the movie will hint at her starting Birds of Prey.

[ettadear]

i love myself as i am, but sometimes i really just wish i wasn’t disabled. i hate that i’d do anything not to be. my dad said that he knows it’s “uncomfortable.” but uncomfortable is tying your shoes a bit too tight. wearing pants 1 size too small. taking a test when the classroom is too hot or too cold. uncomfortable doesn’t make you suicidal. uncomfortable doesn’t make you give up once in a lifetime opportunities you’ve been working towards for years. my pain is not “uncomfortable.” it’s hell.

[seveneyesoup]

ngl i’m still worried. like i Do have complete faith in ncuti gatwa but what i Don’t have is much faith at all in rtd’s writing about race

[snzluv3r]

hey!!!! since pretty much everybody who’s made shitty, bad faith takes on this whole situation (that was never drama or some witch-hunt of the ‘puritans of tumblr persecuting thought crime’ as people like @fluziska wanted to refer to it) has ended up retracting or trying to reword their original (shitty) statements, because they realized they didn’t actually know what they were commenting on in the first place, let’s all just agree to one thing. let’s shut the fuck up and think before we talk for five seconds, especially when it comes to a marginalized group of people having a conversation that centers their literal distress and lack of safety

[thescrappyraccoon]

A few months ago, I had a run-in with an online chronic illness content creator (say that 10x fast! 😂). Their video was entirely inaccessible to anyone with visual or some neurological issues (especially those of us with migraines or seizures), and I very politely let them know.

In the past, I’ve been on the receiving end of that, and I appreciated the feedback, edited my post, and changed how I posted moving forward. In fact, since learning how online content can be inaccessible to many, I have intentionally followed creators who share helpful tips about increasing accessibility across platforms. Because **everyone deserves equitable access.** Sadly, this person’s response was extremely ableist.

Ableism is “a set of beliefs or practices that devalue and discriminate against people with physical, intellectual, or psychiatric disabilities, and often rests on the assumption that disabled people need to be ‘fixed’ in one form or the other” (Definition source: Center for Disability Rights).

Ableism reinforces messages like:

•Your needs are too much, or you’re just being difficult, lazy, etc.

•You aren’t welcome here. This space isn’t for you.

•If you’re still disabled or can’t access this resource, something is wrong with you that you aren’t working hard enough to fix.

But in addition to harming disabled folx, ableism harms *everyone.* If content is inaccessible to some people, guess who’s voice isn’t being heard in the commentary? It is a way of systematically silencing and exiling members of our community. That doesn’t mean it is always *intentionally silencing, but the impact is the same.

When people don’t have the opportunity to hear the voices of people groups who differ from them (for example, if neurotypicals never hear about the lived experiences of neurodivergent folx, if able-bodied people never see folx in wheelchairs, using assistive devices, etc, if white ppl never hear the experiences of people of color, etc) it’s easy to forget that those people groups exist, or take into account their differing experiences and needs, and especially their suffering. Content that is accessible to those with the most hurdles benefits *everyone.*

Disabled folx may be stuck at home for a variety of reasons. Often, online access may be the only access a person has. So let’s make it accessible to everyone. (And if my content or comments are ever inaccessible to you, please message me and I will make every effort to rectify the situation!)

If you see content online, ask yourself:

1. Who can and cannot access this content?

2. If someone can’t access the content, what does that mean for them? For the community as a whole?

3. Whose voices aren’t being heard bc of this inaccessibility?

Image descriptions:

All images have a cream colored square on top of a blue background. The bottom left of the slides have a watercolor paint splash and the blog name “the scrappy raccoon.”

Image 1: title slide with the words “Ableism in Accessibility”

Image 2: slide title is “Ableism”; below is the definition of the word of ableism (written in the caption above)

Image 3: screenshot of my original comment on the post in question which says “idk if anyone has mentioned this but it’s rally [sic] difficult for some of us with visual issues to read captions set over a short, quickly moving video. I would love to read the caption but it’s not accessible to me” followed my a sad emoji face.

Image 4: A screenshot of two of the creator’s responses which read “In fact, I’ve been disabled myself. Much worse than you currently” And “I don’t make content for people to stay sick. This is not a ‘chronic illness warrior’ page. I make content for people who want to heal and are doing so.”

Image 5: A screenshot of one of the creator’s responses to me which reads “As you don’t *have* to watch this one (if it’s a ‘hassle’ to click on it to read the caption- which I don’t see how it is). At the end of the day, this is my page too and I make decisions as to what type of content to make. Which (as it is now) will benefit the most people in fact and more will see it, as explained. But if I wanted to make content for the whole world and not want insta to promote it, I would make it so that it’s suitable precisely for that funding and only those people. Which would be fine too.

Image 6: A screenshot of the rest of the creators content which reads “because it’s my page. Clicking on a video to read is hardly not accessible. And again, even if it was…then that’s the kind of content *I* chose to have on my page. Have a great day!”

Image 7: Quote slide says “Inaccessibility isn’t a “hassle.” It is discrimination. And to refer to it as such is demeaning to those with accessibility needs.

Image 8: Slide title says “Questions to ask about online content:” The numbered list reads:

1. Who can and cannot access this content?

2. If someone can’t access the content, what does that mean for them? For the community as a whole?

3. Whose voices aren’t being heard bc of this inaccessibility?

Image 9: Quote on slide reads, “Making content and spaces accessible for those with the most hurdles to accessibility benefits everyone.”

[monachopsis-11]

Honestly being autistic is like I haven’t done anything in a week and I’m too tired to get out of bed.

[here-there-were-dragons]

just read the new hatchling skin rules and am having Some Type Of Initial Emotional Reaction and am now writing down said Initial Emotional Reaction uncensored as i currently Strongly Feel A Type Of Way and Require Venting. i cannot word this more politely. i do not have the capability to render this rage into polite borderline corporate-speak for the sake of the damn rules that act like anything short of apologizing for being alive to make up for having even the most constructive understanding friendly criticism or even personal mild non-critical dislike of something like a color or a breed is tantamount to personal targeted hatemail. i cannot wait until i cool into calm bitterness later because if i think about this enough to write about it again i will just go right back to being furious and the fact that everyone ielse who's complaining is focusing entirely on the lolita fashion thing and not on in my opinion the far more significant and offensive part is pissing me off even more. extremely angry unedited ranting ahead

fr having it's own "female presenting nipples" moment right now, not that i'm particularly surprised, they've been a prime example of "conservative protestantism in a lefty-language veneer" for a long while now.

"don't adultify" is such a fucking vague and easily selectively interpreted rule, not to mention insulting for a number of reasons,

but putting that part aside the whole idea of "nothing that suggests that the dragon is an adult in a young body" is. look, i'm not exactly fond of the "adult who looks like an anime schoolgirl" trope myself, but i fail to see how in the absolute FUCK having it be canon in-universe that it is both possible and legal for someone to be forced to stay as a child permanently, is somehow LESS creepy than just saying eternal youth dragons have dwarfism. also, fuck you to anyone with dwarfism apparently i guess?

and "no zombie baby dragons" is just stupid. even fucking minecraft has baby zombies, and microsoft has steadily butchered that game into one of the most t for toddler babymode things on earth this side of cocomelon.

and "no scars on hatchlings" so fuck you to any kids with scars too apparently, even though that's way more common than anyone seems to realize. you hear that, kids? if you're under 18 and have scars your very existence is too obscene for public view. 13+ year olds will be irreparably traumatized if they have to know you exist at all! fuck you disabled kids and fuck you amputee kids and fuck you any kids that have suffered anything ever at all for not appearing as a perfect unspoiled image of conservative christian child-doll innocent purity. flight rising staff says your body and existence is inherently too nsfw to even be acknowledged as existing much less visually seen. everyone knows REAL children don't get damaged at all, and if they do then they're too horrifying and defective at their job of Being A Child Properly to exist in public spaces! how dare ugly things that might make us uncomfortable with their existence by contradicting out ideals about aesthetic moral purity be allowed where good respectable normal people can see them!

i don't say any of these words lightly, and i'm very much not the type to go around calling people whatever-ists and in fact find that kind of thing extremely annoying, useless, reductive, and more or less only ever see it used as a blunt cudgel to shame people into line so they don't question you, and have historically found it especially annoying when people pull out the accusations-of-ism card on fr staff over things that are far more likely just completely understandable (if dubiously competent) issues of certain things simply not occurring to someone on code and design level due to lack of sufficient exposure to the idea, and have always been of the belief of giving them the benefit of doubt (even if often that just means i think they either most likely made an understandable mistake that i would likely also make, or, when i'm feeling less kind, that they're simply not particularly competent rather than actively hostile) so understand how much it means coming from me when i say- flight rising staff, sincerely, from the bottom of my heart, fuck you, you ableist batch of pricks, so far up your own asses with your performative veneer of vaguely lefty-flavored language that you don't realize how fundamentally extremely conservative all of your actual beliefs underlying them are. for every update you make that i approve of there's another that does twice as much damage as the good update fixed (and i'm starting to wonder if you maybe know what you're doing with that too-always batching the fucked up shit on the tail end of some big thing you know people will be excited about, always hiding these controversial moderation changes under something shiny and new, to the point that now i dread any new good update that genuinely seems a step in the right direction and/or is something we've been wanting for awhile because i'm just constantly expecting the knife hidden behind the footnotes afterwards, the fucking "ban tiktok/gay marriage/strip rights from this population/end net neutrality/whatever/ect" clause stapled onto the end of a bill about something entirely unrelated functionally holding a change people want hostage until they allow the fucked up part through. i've been here most of the site's 10+ years and i've seen this sort of thing happen far, far too often.) and every year the shit that gets pulled on the management and moderation end of things makes me more and more almost glad i've never had an income to spend on this, and the fact that apparently the moderation behind every single other petsite in existence is somehow significantly worse fucking astounds me. the only reason i stay around here is because It's Free Dragon Pictures, because it's literally the only actually good petsite game i've ever played and not gotten sick of within a week or so (and really the only good low-energy game i've ever played in general, which i'm increasingly convinced is in spite of it's management), and because somehow, despite all of this shit, i still genuinely love the game itself, because unfortunately by some accident of creation it seems they apparently stumbled purely by coincidence into making an actually good game idea no one else quite has. and after all the fuckery that gets constantly pulled, i refuse to believe the game being good is anything other than, much like many of the of the incidents i think they're unfairly accused of malice and -ism over, an accident.

Disabled children too obscene to fucking exist. fuck you. good to know half the child population's existence requires a trigger warning to even be allowed to be acknowledged as existing to you. good to know if the heart surgery i had when i was 11 had left any visible external scars i would be considered inherently too obscene to exist to you. good to know if the overhealed and benignly potentially cancerous scar on my back from whatever actually happened when i was a toddler (i don't trust either of my parents to ever be accurate about something like that) was in a more visible spot you would demand i have a trigger warning to post selfies online. good to know if any of the shit that's broken me emotionally left visible physical marks you would think it was good and right for me to be forcibly hidden from good normal people's view and considered too taboo for even the slightest discussion without hiding it with makeup and lies, just so i don't make good, lucky, undamaged, normal people uncomfortable, god fucking forbid. should we hide the gays too, since they also make so many people uncomfy? i imagine it won't be long before disabled adults are too obscene for your polite societytm sensibilities too. i've had the feeling for a long time that amputee and disabled skins were living on borrowed time with your rules, kept technically not explicitly dissalowed where all other forms of injury and ""body horror"" are banned simply out of fear of the backlash it would cause to include them, and well. the doomsday clock on that one just got a little bit closer to midnight, huh?

the only reason i wasn't a (physically, visibly, externally) scarred kid was pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you weren't a physically scarred kid too is pure sheer fucking luck. the only reason you're not some type of disfigured or ugly or amputated or visibly injured or whatnot is pure sheer fucking luck. you're lucky. nothing more. if having to contend with that fact-the fact of how easily it could have gone a different way and there is nothing they would be able to do about it- makes good normal tm people uncomfortable, then well, get the fuck used to it, other people children very much fucking included don't exist to cater to the aesthetic sensibilities of a lucky perfect few. the only thing that separates you from the damaged ones you find too obscene is a bad day and an unlucky hand. and one day, even if you were lucky enough to escape being damaged when you were young, you and i will both be just like them too.

more festival skin winners slots is good. elemental swords sound fun.

[consider-your-potatoes-mashed]

Why do abled people always fucking suggest the most basic things to “fix” disabled people’s problems/disabilities and act like they know better than we do???

If you, a person who does not live with the disability you’re trying to “fix”, can think of a solution off the top of your head without any research, experience, or even trying to actually understand what we have tried and what we’re actually dealing with don’t you think that we might’ve already or are already trying that???

For me this comes most from my mother saying that I need to change my diet (even though I have so many sensory issues surrounding food and have tried and failed so many times), that I need to lose weight (ma’am I am trying), that I should try stretching (you know what I’ve tried that for years and guess what it just stretches my ligaments because I’m fucking hypermobile and it ends up causes me more pain), that I need to exercise more (I’m trying but I’m also limited by pain. Pain that keeps me from being able to exercise most of the time. Pain that usually gets worse when I try to exercise), that I should try to not use my mobility aids because I’ll become reliant on them (ma’am they help me. They are not hurting me. They are what keeps me able to do stuff you want me to be able to do. Why should I try to not use them???), and so much fucking more

Like seriously abled people stop pretending you know our bodies better than we do I promise you you don’t. Even doctors (as shit as they might be) are supposed to listen to us before they even start to make recommendations (yeah many don’t but they’re supposed to)

[giantkillerjack]

Uh-oh! You are like, SOOO awkward!!

You're so awkward that it is occasionally mildly uncomfortable for people!

You're so awkward that sometimes people are confused by you and then there are awkward silences!

You're so awkward ...... that ultimately no one is harmed!!

Oh damn!!! What a vile crime you have committed! What an unforgivable thing it is to make a fellow human briefly confused!

Why, if *I* were ever briefly confused and kind of uncomfortable as a result, I'd be devastated.... by the absolute net zero change in my happiness and health! - From which I might never recover!! Yes indeed! No punishment can ever be enough for you!!

So you better absolutely hate yourself for it.

Better be SO MEAN to yourself about every single missed social cue so you don't forget your horrible crime! Meaner than you'd ever dream of being to someone else for the same thing! This is YOUR responsibility!

You need to show the world that you KNOW you are bad by punishing yourself constantly! After all, think of all the people who BENEFIT from you punishing yourself! - No, really! Think about it! Think about who benefits from your pain.

Think of alllllll the definitely-good people that your definitely-necessary self-torment definitely helps! I mean, you can't just cut off their definitely-life-sustaining supply of your suffering, right?? Sure, everyone else has a breaking point, but you're probably the only person in human history who doesn't, right? Best not to question it probably. Sure, it's a symptom that billions of people with trauma have had, but who knows? You could be a one-in-seven-billion exception. Anything's possible!

Instead, better just accept that idea that bullies carry like guns in holsters - the idea that people who have trouble with social cues deserve to suffer. Better carry on the burden they placed on you until you drop. Aid the cause of the callous by enforcing shame and suffering upon yourself extra hard; try your best to do their work for them. They're very busy.

Better not recognize that you need patience and kindness to heal from your trauma. Better not find out that it was trauma rather than personal weakness filling your head with self-hating thoughts. Better not find out it wasn't your fault.

Better not find out that awkwardness is not inherently harmful or unkind, and, in fact, the people who act like it is *are the ones enacting harm and being cruel.*

Better not get righteously angry when you realize just how much unnecessary damage this has done to you. After all, if you get mad, you might realize you deserve better. You might even feel brave enough to DEMAND better! You might build boundaries that keep you safe! You might make other people think they deserve to feel safe too! And we obviously can't be having that, so...

Better not show yourself even a little kindness a little bit at a time.

Better not make a habit out of it after all that practice.

Better not get confident.

Especially if you can't first wipe out every trace of awkward. (And you probably never will. Because people who experience absolute social certainty at all times tend to be insufferable assholes that enforce the status quo. And you just don't have the stock portfolio for that.)

Better not be confident and awkward because then you might confuse and delight people

- you might accidentally end up making other people feel less shame for their social difficulties

- you might make isolated, traumatized, and shy people feel like they deserve to be included in social situations

- you might even make them feel they can be themselves around you

- you might start loving the effect you have on a room

- you might enjoy conversations more

- you might forgive yourself and bounce back from shame more easily and frequently

- you might come to enjoy some of those moments of harmless confusion you cause because NOBODY expects the Confident Awkward, and that can genuinely be an advantage in social situations

- you might stop apologizing so much.

- you might find that socializing is like a video game: it requires practice but also a safe space for it to be fun and positive.

Or if you can't become assertive and confident, better not remain awkward and shy and quiet, and then love and forgive yourself anyway!

Why, it would be carnage!!

In either scenario, you run the risk of finding out that it's not your fault that safe spaces full of kind people can be really hard to find, create, and nurture. You could end up building a skillset that helps you do those things if you're not careful!

If you start giving yourself even the tiniest amount of grace at a time, you will find that you've accessed a gateway drug with extreme long-term side effects:

- You might realize that it was never your fault that it took so long to like yourself.

- You might realize that you were always worth talking to, even when you didn't like yourself and communication felt impossibly difficult.

- You might realize that you'll still be worth talking to even if communication becomes harder as you age and/or experience disability.

- You might come to know that you deserve to be heard even on bad days when words come slow and blurry.

You might discover that you were always deserving of kindness, first and foremost from yourself.

So. As you can see, it's FAR too much of a risk to start granting your awkward self free pardons for your many heinous and harmless crimes. Better to just leave it there.

[sak-supernatural]

Just a quick poll because I feel like shit:

My rambling story if you care;

I work in a caffe/coffee shop and have been there for 2 years now. Things were pretty great to start with and they seemed to accept the fact that I'm autistic. But recently the tone has shifted and I am constantly being ordered around (things that I know to do and am usually in the active process of going to do). This is all coming from the bosses wife. I have been uncomfortable and annoyed with the tone she takes with me for a long time now, and things all came to a head this past week when she was running the shop more often than usual (she typically only does an hour here and there, and covers breaks). There were two incidents and if it had been handled with an ounce of professionalism I would not even have brought it up. The exact words that were spoken were; "just make the drinks, I don't want to hear any more about this" (in the tone one might speak to a disrespectful child). "This" being an order she had taken that was wrong. The customer came up to the till (I was running the till) to amend his order (he was wrong initially and offered to pay the difference, nice guy) and instead of letting me ask which drink he wanted to change she butted in and said; "oh that's OK we’ll get that for you", while having no idea what exactly needed to be changed. She then poured away the drink she thought was wrong (it was in fact one they wanted) and made us make two new drinks, one of which was completely the wrong thing! We (me and the other girl) had questioned this, and that's there she bit our heads off about it.

The other incident (the one that made me speak up) was about my timing on my lunch break. Apparently I was late (she has said this so many times). We have 30 minutes for lunch and when I got back from mine (I set 30 mins on my watch, every day) she whisper called me over, away from where I was working on clearing the backlog of dishes that were strewn all along the worktop in a mess that she had created. AND ACCUSED ME OF BEING NEARLY 10 MINUTES LATE! I was sick and tired of being spoken to with the disrespectful tone she was using so I stood my ground that I wasn't late (and she didn't like that). She is egotistical and can't accept that she can makes mistakes.

I want to quit so badly 😫. I tried to have a conversation with my boss about what was bothering me (you know, like he has insisted I come to him with any problems) and he just dismissed me completely. The ONLY thing he focused on was the lunch break and he pulled up the cameras, as it turns out I was apparently 3 WHOLE FUCKING GOD DAMN MINUTES LATE! 3 minutes! What the actual fuck is wrong with you if you think 3 minutes is rounded to 10?! And being told; "your break starts when I tell you to go, not when you sit down" and; "you need to be back, apron on, ready to work before the end of the 30 minutes". OK I think I've got it, so my break is not in fact 30 minutes it's more like 25 at a stretch. /pa Thanks for misinforming me, I greatly appreciate not being told the specifics. /s This also goes for when he said my performance had been "slipping" in the last few weeks, and when I asked exactly how and what I had been "slipping" in, HE WOULDN'T TELL ME! Because there wasn't really anything and he was just grasping at straws for something to throw in my face.

At least now I know where I stand (not valued) and can move forward from there, and as he directly said to me; "this is how things are going to be, and if you don't like it maybe this is not the place for you". No sir, an ableist, excuse making arse is not someone I want to work for.

The best part is my brother was sitting right near us in the caffe and heard the things that were being said to me. My family are all angry on by behalf and I'm trying to let that make me feel better. It's hard to keep being strong, and not fall into the belief that I'm the problem. I did nothing wrong in asking to talk through some problems, I'm just so done. 😔