#best video ever to exist ever in the world actually.

[sapnapsboyfriend]

me: :(

my brain: hey u.... wanna watch the episode of 3rd life where grian and scar get that triple kill?

me: ... >:)

[icewindandboringhorror]

Daily Log 4

Trying out (probably just temporarily) making short daily-ish notes about things, in an attempt to see if it helps me be more reflective or productive lol.

Activities: Woke up late because I went back to sleep with a headache briefly, then kind of struggled to focus all day ToT

Worked more on the aforementioned tapestry/painting type of thing. I've done the base layer of painting for the main image, now I'm lining in darker outlines. I wanted to finish the center art before getting into the intricate borders. Still haven't translated the text lol..

Made a small bowl and also a little box with a lid out of more avocado pits. Still just with random nail cuticle tool things and kitchen knives, as I don't have proper carving tools.

Finished editing and proofreading the new poll adventure post!! I don't have time to post it tonight because I need to get to sleep early but.. I have it Completely 100% Ready.. finally..

Also washed the clothes I got together yesterday. Called about the bloodwork. Sent an email to a doctor.

Reviewed some writing documents to get back into my game maybe?? (basically, I started working on a visual novel type game a few years ago, decided it was a huge project so kind of put it on the backburner for a while in favor of things that were more easily finishable/tangible. then later on a game website I play (similar to neopets or something, there are collectable little creatures, etc.) there was an opportunity for me to design a pet on site, so I made a smaller shorter visual novel centered around that, where people on the site have to play the game in order to earn the pet, and I have a google form for them to answer a few short questions about it. All of the feedback is quite positive (reached 200 responses a while ago! though still only like 4 comments on the itch.io page lol.. Mandatory Form vs. Optional Comments evil showdown), but sometimes I get commentary that's really enthusiastic and inspires me to start back working on the OTHER bigger game. The small game was kind of like, a proof of concept that was safe because I had a guaranteed audience, that has helped me gain more insight for the larger one.

Anyway, since I've abandoned the Main Large Game for so long, I have to re-read and review/probably rewrite A LOT of things just to pick it back up again as A Thing I'm Actively Working On, so it's another one of those tasks that I do maybe 45 minutes of and then realize it's going to take days and days and get discouraged lol..

Notable sights: Saw two cats in windows. No clovers. It rained a little today but I didn't get to go outside and see it. One of the pieces of asparagus in the fridge was like the size of a carrot, comically overgrown downright ridiculous looking asparagus. Maybe I'll get taller after eating it.

Goals moving forward: Consistent sleep schedule. Focus on social activities, finding new friends in the places I want to move, communicating with ones I have. Physical therapy exercises. Plant nasturtiums. Finish and upload videos, edit costume pictures & etc.

Notable foods: ASPARAGUS AGAIN BABEY.. yeaAAAAGHHH asparagus squad !!!!!!

[cal-x]

fixatingon your own ocs is so cringe

[jensettermandu]

six feet under - yu jimin

genre; smut, angst, hurt/comfort

pairing; karina x g!p reader

content; despite the title there's no character death (it's just for metaphors) , unhealthy relationship; lack of communication , difficulty dealing with acceptance/reality , unintentionally hurting e/o , smut; p in v :D , unprotected sex , top karina/service bottom reader , oral (reader giving) , slight breast play , some praising

synopsis; it had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. it helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. to hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be.

wc; 15.6k+

masterlist.

It had always been said that nothing stays the same, it had been said ever since they were little kids and that acceptance of it was important. It helped move forward because dwelling in a past that no longer existed did no one any good. To hang onto something that didn’t exist meant falling to the deepest parts of hell willingly because no matter how much it hurt it felt like it was worth it the second they looked back at what it used to be. 

The silence could almost be dreading, it was so loud that it vibrated through their ribcage. It was so loud with their thoughts that they had no clue what to do. Love could be so many things, couldn’t it? It also meant that love got mistaken a lot of times too. It could make a bed feel comfortable, one they would always want to be at the end of every night, but it would always feel cold with spaces bigger than the ocean even if they were just an inch away. 

At times it felt like acknowledging the damage would only damage the rest of the world too if it was brought up. It was for everyone’s best and they could silently try to fix the damage with minimum casualties around them.

They both fell blind and only realised that they forgot to do something about it when they were dragged out of the daydreams and brought back to reality. The daydream that was the past was what made Y/n look away from her monitor once her eyes fell on the time at the bottom corner. She slipped the headphones off of her head, loose bangs falling over her forehead as they no longer were held back by the gear and she turned the chair around. Her eyes fell on the bed that was empty despite it being 0:30 AM. 

Routines changed, but they stayed. 

It had become a game of avoiding the other to not bring up the actual problems. Y/n indulged in her video games the whole day so they could avoid even looking at each other. She hadn’t spared Jimin a single glance but was now looking at the empty bed with sentiment filling her veins heavily. She deeply inhaled, trying to fill her lungs with oxygen to air out the sadness and hang on to the hope of stitching the torn back together. 

It was harder than it looked though when she had no clue how to put together a world that had been caught in a landslide and pulled them apart. It was all drifting apart, burning bridges they couldn’t stop imagining still existed. All they did was stand and look at it happening because there was nothing that they could do about these new feelings. 

She placed the headset onto the desk and reached over to the power button on the PC, her index finger coming in contact with it. Y/n pressed it and still deep in lamentful thoughts she held it for a while longer than needed before letting go. 

Just as she stood up the door opened and her tired eyes landed on Jimin whose gaze immediately was drawn to Y/n despite how far away they were. It was time to let go, but all that heaviness caused by the thoughts of finally mending their worlds and leaving the one they had built together in the past was hard to get rid of. There were so many reasons that told them to let go, but so many that told them to stay because of what once was their everything. 

“I just have to take a quick shower.” Jimin nodded at that as she stepped inside the room, leaving the door ajar as she knew what it meant. It was too cold to fall asleep beside each other on the bed, it was too uncertain of what they should do in the familiar sheets. It was easier to fall asleep alone, but it was difficult to sleep fully through the night if they weren’t both in bed at the same time. 

It had become a routine of leaving to let the other fall asleep before getting in bed too. The shower felt agonising, unsure if she had been in there long enough or if she should stay and continue to ponder. Everything around them still felt the same, but on the inside everything was different. Was it because of how suddenly it had happened? Was it because it was scary to let go of something that used to be all their comfort, scared that it was their only comfort after being it for so long? Was it because of how much they still had for each other? 

What if they got lost and became wanderers once they would let go of each other and would end up walking life without a goal to reach?

The shower felt like the only place where she could ponder now since it felt like it was too much to cry in front of each other. That would mean that they would have to talk about what was wrong and what they had to do, to do the things they weren’t ready for. The past felt so worth holding onto despite the feelings of the future never looking like they imagined. 

It was like every other time when Y/n walked back to the room, she quietly opened it, stepping inside the warmth and the comforting scent of Jimin that lingered in the air. Was it because all these things still brought her warmth and comfort? Her eyes landed on the bed that wasn’t empty this time, but would still feel cold once she settled in it. Never did they do it intentionally, but it had started happening at some point and there was nothing they could do to stop it. 

She couldn’t just not care, she always did and always would as she threw her black hoodie onto the backrest of the swivel chair she had been sitting in earlier. It merely made a sound when it landed on the chair and she walked a few small steps over to the edge of the bed where Jimin was lying. 

It had become a new routine to just stare at Jimin from a distance while trying to figure out what exactly was wrong between them. She had always adored the girl whether with words or just by looking at her from across a room, but this was different despite the adoration. This always made her eyes look a certain way, a way that whenever Jimin caught Y/n looking at her she could tell what she was thinking and Jimin found herself leaving to wipe away her tears. 

So Y/n was crouched down right by Jimin who was asleep on the bed, her head tilting as a small frown adorned her features in thought. The longer she thought the more it all felt like a pipe dream as her eyes lingered on the girl's soft features Y/n adored. The white duvet pulled up to her chin and the younger reached over to Jimin, gently grazing her fingers over the tender skin. Nothing about it had changed, it still felt as good as it always had under her fingertips. 

She pushed back some of the loose strands away from the sleeping girl’s face before she pulled her hand away fully, scared that she would wake her up, that Jimin would pull away from her touch, that they would both freeze and then go back to pretending. 

Y/n sighed at the feelings she couldn’t decipher anymore and her forehead rested on the edge of the bed for a few seconds as she closed her eyes tightly. Her fists clenched and so did her jaw to shut out everything, the landslide wiped away from her mind, the future too, the past stayed as she fished for the answers from the burning bridge. She was utterly confused, she was so lost in that field where everything had burned to the ground. 

Where did it all go? When did it all disappear?

She deeply inhaled and raised her head, shakily letting out her breath, doing it slowly to not wake Jimin up. Her fingers peeled at the cover, the small bear coming into view that Jimin was hugging–it was Y/n’s childhood plushie, but the comfort that it had held once had been transferred to Jimin. She had no clue if Jimin had transferred it further or if she still held onto it. It felt too cold at times, but they were still hanging on to the daydream.

“Goodnight, angel.” Her fists gripped onto the sheets as she left a ghost-like peck against Jimin’s soft cheek while standing up before climbing carefully over the girl to lie down by the wall. Y/n got under the duvet and laid on her back, staring at the ceiling that was empty while her head raced with thoughts that would make falling asleep so much harder. The itch to hold each other, but the fear of it not feeling the same anymore kept them at a distance and so the ache grew, but the silence didn’t dissipate. It was loud enough to mask the sounds of the heartbreak. 

Jimin heaved a sigh, her eyes opening in the silent room, knowing that Y/n was lying just behind her, but she wasn’t able to feel her. The simple peck, the brush of fingers against her skin, the goodnight, the innocent pet name; all made her eyes burn hot in the freezing weather that the room was in. It made her stiffen up her lower lip to try and keep them at bay, clutching the little bear harder, burying her nose into its brown fuzzy fur. 

Each time she blinked her eyes its fur soaked up the tears, being the only witness of them, the only thing wiping them for her, holding her sorrows inside its small frame. She was afraid that it would overfill soon enough, that the bear would turn salty and bitter from her tears, and that it wouldn’t want to give her any more comfort because of that. She longed, but they flew apart and she couldn’t figure out what exactly she longed for as Jimin felt just as lost and confused about everything as Y/n was. 

Was it all broken or just bent? She had no clue, Jimin didn’t even know what exactly it was that was wrong. Or maybe she knew just what was wrong, but pretended that she didn’t?

It echoed in Y/n’s head after the alarm had gone off around 6 AM and she had turned it off–their last rehearsal before they were off to Tokyo, Japan. What their mornings used to look like kept replaying in her head, the sounds of them like an echo of silence now because they no longer happened. There was no room filled with giggles despite it being early at dawn or noon. No words that were sweet affection were exchanged between them. There was no holding each other, hugging, kissing, and just being there with each other, close and content.

Neither could remember the last time they had said an ‘I love you’ to each other. 

It used to be always in the mornings, before bed and throughout the day. 

It made Y/n exhale while turning to lay on her back as they slept with their backs turned to each other. She tiredly stared at the ceiling unable not to look over at Jimin whose back was still turned to her, it was like a big ice wall fell and blocked them off. ‘It’s fine’ kept repeating itself in Y/n’s head as she pursed her lips and grabbed her phone to see that the time still flew and didn’t wait for them. It did not wait and they were wasting time away from each other when they could be making it meaningful. 

The footsteps outside were heard now and Y/n knew that they didn’t have more time to sit and wallow in their sorrows of holding onto something that wasn’t there. 

“We have to start getting up.” The girl mumbled just to make sure that the first alarm had managed to wake up Jimin. It did for Y/n because she hadn’t been able to fall into a deep slumber because of all the thoughts.

It was harsh, it was like a strong tornado carrying all types of feelings in it came through the room and cut through Y/n’s skin. “I know, Y/n.” The softness was gone and Y/n bit her lower lip because despite it all they hadn’t been like two snakes around each other, ready to bite and leave venom any second. They hadn’t tried to make it sting more than it already did, but it seemed impossible to do for too long. 

The younger still caught the sweet scent of Jimin that made the moment slightly less bitter, reminding her of all the good times when she’d be drowned in the scent. The duvet was thrown off of Jimin who got up from the bed, grabbing the hoodie from the chair on her way and all she left behind was a whirlwind of unspoken emotions after leaving the door ajar when she walked out. 

Y/n grabbed the little bear that fell beside her and stared at it, looking for answers in the tears she knew that Jimin was shedding every night. She pretended that she didn’t hear it, that she was asleep, that she simply didn’t know that she was making the girl cry. It was easier that way and in the morning she would look at the bear and still get no answers. She couldn’t acknowledge her silent cries because they would have to do something about everything if she did. 

Practice went as usual, almost as usual for the two of them. They both wondered if the rest had noticed their lack of communication and how they occupied themselves with the others to not make eye contact by accident. If they did notice, it wasn’t like any of them would comment on it since Y/n and Jimin’s relationship wasn’t their business. 

It didn’t even seem to be Jimin and Y/n’s business anymore as neither of them spoke about it. 

Still half panting, Y/n sat on the couch with Minjeong as the two got engulfed in the Nintendo 3DS Y/n had brought with her. There was an emptiness that she hadn’t been able to grow used to, she had become so used to having someone always right next to her for the past three years. It wasn’t constant clinging to each other, but even the small things such as brushing their legs or glancing at each other. The loss of that made a void grow bigger each second and the only thing that would fill it was if things went back to how they used to be.

It made Y/n wonder if Jimin felt the same and so she glanced away from the game, her eyes landing on her girlfriend. She was so used to it so she wasn’t sure if it was Jimin specifically or just a habit that was hard to let go of now, all that affection. The girl was busy talking to Aeri and no matter what they were doing someone’s back was always turned to the other. Y/n’s hoodie-clad the girl’s upper body and Y/n tilted her head, thinking about how maybe that was what brought Jimin the comfort of having someone next to her, just the warmth and scent. 

Their confusion about the situation was what made it hard for them to get back to the intimacy they used to share.

The door opened and Ning walked in with their manager, catching everyone’s attention as it got noisier when they started to all converse while making it to the couch. However, Y/n looked back down at the 3DS to occupy her eyes with something for a few more seconds to not try to figure out where Jimin would sit this time. 

Aeri was about to sit on the wooden floor, her eyes seeing the lone spot left beside Y/n as Ning was already on the floor by Minjeong’s legs with her drink and one of the pastries. Jimin made sure to insist that she could take the spot, but it still left her in an awkward spot on the floor by Y/n’s legs. Her shoulder brushed against them, bumping into each other constantly and she couldn’t bring herself to sit still, especially not when all the emotions were bubbling inside her. 

She couldn’t remember being this emotional before. 

How else was she supposed to be when everything felt out of control and she had no clue what to do? There was nothing she could do no matter how hard she tried to catch everything only for it to slip right through her fingers. 

Jimin wanted to cry when she took a sip of her drink and something just had to top it all off when her order seemed nothing but wrong. Everything in her life was crumbling, she was in pure distress and despair. However, things only could get worse–they had yet to reach the bottom–and not better because among the cold there was always a warmth as she tried to stop the pout on her lips while staring at her drink. 

Jimin felt like a puddle of water in the middle of the road, no one appreciated them and walked around them and all they did was harbour filth; filth being these feelings that only grew bigger, the mess of a puddle becoming bigger too. 

She looked up at the hand that took her drink, her glossy eyes meeting Y/n’s for a split second. 

The younger felt a heat shoot through her body, it was as if she broke a limb at the pain that she felt seeing Jimin actually harbour these tears and not just cry at night when she thought that Y/n was asleep. It hurt her chest, she cared about Jimin, and she knew that she always would because before she became her lover she was her best friend and member. Maybe that's why it hurt even more. Y/n had no clue who she lost in this silent war they were stuck in. 

Was she losing a lover? A best friend? A member?

“You can have mine.” Y/n knew her, Jimin hated it because it made everything even harder and Y/n could see the way the tears grew as quickly as a high tide in the girl’s eyes. She looked hurt, she was hurting, they were hurting, but they continued to do so without saying anything. Why could Y/n tell from a certain pout that Jimin wasn’t satisfied with her food or drink? Why did they have to be so caring for each other? It made cold things warm and they had no clue why things were cold to begin with.

They didn’t want to lose it.

She took the iced green tea she knew that Y/n loved and the younger took her drink. All it took was a sip of it and it all got overwhelming once again because the thoughts didn’t stop crashing inside of her head, exploding and occupying every corner of her mind. It made her wonder if Y/n was busy thinking the same things throughout her whole day too and the thought of being the only one to do so hurt immensely. 

“I will be back–restroom.”

The girls hummed, going back to what they were doing as Jimin excused herself, leaving everything behind her and she wished she could do that with the reality that she didn’t want to live in. It was haunting her. 

She missed the days when her biggest worries in a relationship were that the promised forever wouldn’t be long enough and not that everything had possibly dropped dead like flies around them, that the forever would never happen. It was a painfully slow dance in a burning room that neither of them left just to see if they could still survive once everything had crumbled fully and the smoke had filled their lungs.

Y/n knew that letting time pass would be too painful to sit through. Nothing was waiting for them. Even if it meant a bigger gap, she gave her 3DS to Minjeong who continued on the game while Y/n had become a pawn in a game no one was controlling. It was a game of chaos no one could cultivate anything out of, no order, no logic, no helpful solutions. This was a game of walking a thin line of nothing and everything. 

It was too tiring, walking inside the bathroom felt like getting locked in the confines of a place where no one would ever find her, no one would see her. No one would see if Jimin broke down in the bathroom and it made relief wash over her and the tears spilled like a broken dam. That was all it took and she tried to calm down, but it wasn’t possible as she turned on the faucet, letting it run to drown out her snivels and deep breaths. 

It was exhausting to be crying almost every day, she didn’t know what sleep was anymore and all she lived for was sorrow, she lived to continue hurting. 

Why did they make something simple so complicated? Love was what made it complicated. 

She used the pads of her palms and wiped at her eyes while tilting her head back and letting out a shaky breath. It felt like there was no calming down from this and each second only made it worse. The silence despite the running water, the echoes in the tiled bathroom, and the stalls empty. 

Jimin could still remember all the other times she had been crying in the same bathroom when everything felt like it was all for nothing because she couldn’t feel fulfilment despite her achievements. She could remember the way her girlfriend would end up in the same bathroom, coaxing it all out of her, taking all her burdens and carrying them for her. Could Y/n do the same thing now when they both were in the same shoes?

Everything reminded her of Y/n except Y/n herself. They both felt distant and like different people. 

Even the light knock on the door was familiar and she took in a shuddering breath, turning to look at Y/n when she opened the door. It fell closed right after, her hands in the pockets of her sweatpants, restricting herself from all those instincts that always kicked in. Her eyes followed the hesitance that was clear in Jimin’s body that pulled to Y/n, but with so much trouble as she held the sleeve of the hoodie against her trembling lips. 

“Come on,” Y/n mumbled, knowing that it was all that was needed to get the girl to just break down fully. “It’s okay to not be okay,” she mumbled as she wrapped her arms around the girl’s shoulders who shook in her arms. The hot tears were burning against her pale skin, wetting her neck, trailing down and spilling like they never had before. Her cheek rested against the side of Jimin’s head, pulling her closer to her body, into her warmth because it was all still the same, but it felt different. 

What was it that exactly wasn’t okay? It wasn’t just them themselves, but them together and it ended up making both of them not feel okay. 

Jimin tightly wrapped her arms around Y/n’s waist, crying into her neck. She got pulled closer, her head being cradled by Y/n’s hand. All of it made it impossible to hold the walls up, the ones that were supposed to show that she wasn’t as bothered by it as she truly was. In reality, Jimin could barely breathe through it without falling into a panic attack. Hearing Y/n’s words, and hearing that it was okay made it so much easier to let it all out, especially when she was with the girl and held by her. 

The reassurance that it was okay to cry about the landslide made it easier. Y/n recognised the burdens and Jimin wasn’t alone.

“I’m sorry for how I took it out on you in the morning.” Y/n only hummed, holding her close as Jimin had been a rose with its thorns aimed at Y/n since they woke up. From the harsh words to the ways she blatantly shut her out even when it was a small question not to her girlfriend but to the leader of Aespa. Jimin was scared and it was affecting her role as a leader too, as a member of the group. The fear was consuming her life fully and was getting in the way of everything. 

“I’m just so tired and I can barely sleep at night.” Or maybe she could sleep just fine but chose to cry at night instead of closing her eyes. She woke up more tired each day, every little second got more exhausting than the other. 

“I know, I’m sorry for all of this.” The younger knew all about it, but what she didn’t know was what exactly she was apologising for. Y/n knew that Jimin was crying at night because of what was happening between them, but she knew that it wasn’t her fault or Jimin’s. It was natural, it would have happened at some point, right? Y/n inhaled, closing her eyes because it hurt her, but seeing how much it affected Jimin made it hurt so much more and it made everything more complicated. 

“We can’t keep going without knowing where it’s all heading. I’m confused and–” Y/n stopped her before they got too deep into the truth because neither of them was ready to let go just yet, neither wanted to end it just yet. They needed some more time, some more time to find more than just one option to end their pain. There always was more than one choice. 

She pulled away from Jimin, her upper body lingered with the warmth that the shorter girl left after her. Jimin gripped at Y/n’s sweater, knowing that once they let go they would be apart for what would feel like years again. The void between them would become even bigger than it already was and they would avoid it for much longer. 

“I care about you, nothing will change that and it’s all fine, Jimin.” She held her face cupped in her hands, tears hitting her skin as the girl looked up at her with quivering eyes. They knew that these false paintings of their relationship would make them feel better for now. Not in the long run, but they tried to live in the present–it didn’t matter if they reminisced and avoided the problems of the present. 

Jimin blinked her eyes, trying her best to run into the daydream, trying to escape reality. Her eyes closed, hoping that she would be thrown into her daydream as Y/n kissed her forehead. 

She missed the pretty sunset sky, the fireworks, the green grass, the clouds that came in different shapes and would be fluffy. It was like a childish dream and possibly some people had been right when they said that young love was complicated. It wasn’t like they cared, they had always felt like teenagers in love with each other. 

Why wasn’t it working though? Where did it all go? It no longer felt like a daydream. It no longer felt like it used to do. 

It was so difficult to grasp something that physically wasn’t there, neither of them could grasp it, at the feelings. Love was so beautifully painful the way it painted them with all these different colours. The canvas would always be filled with them and to the eye it would always be beautiful but to the souls that served as the canvas it would always be heaven and hell. Among white there was blue, among blue there was green, among green there was red and it went on. 

The daydream was constantly corrupted by the harsh reality. 

It was like walking a tightrope.

The smallest mistakes felt deadly.

The stupidest mistakes.

It would be laughable if it weren’t for the fact that there was so much on the line. 

It was part of the social culture and Y/n had happened to fall victim to it because a few cigarettes had turned into a pack or two a week. What were her reasons? Probably all that went on in her hectic life, but it hadn’t been easy to sneak around with an addiction. It got especially hard when the dorm arrangements changed because she and Jimin got together. 

Y/n had managed to sneak around for a whole two months. All it took was one week of sharing a room with Jimin who gave up on pretending that she didn’t notice the lingering smell of tobacco on Y/n and slowly herself. 

‘Fine, I will quit for you.’

‘Not for me. For yourself and your health.’

‘Doing it for you makes it easier.’

‘Only if you don’t start doing it again. It will hurt to think that doing it for me wasn’t enough.’

‘I promise.’

Even the simplest promises were being broken. It felt all the more hopeless.

It was hard, to say the least with starting to dose down on how much she smoked until it was nothing at all. Y/n had never thought of herself as someone who grew addicted easily, but nicotine turned out to be a bitch and even a year and a half after quitting the cravings came back. There were certain times when they were extra tempting, it made her irritated and restless. It was times like these that she always had her substitutes for them, from nicotine patches to nicotine gum or simply Jimin. 

This time it felt like Jimin was the cause of the cravings. 

The world around them no longer felt real because of how they had surrounded themselves in a fake reality. 

“Did you slam the door in my face?” Venom, that was what Jimin spat out, pure venom behind her words as she locked the door to the green room. The rest were out and talking to their label mates, but it was better to make sure they didn’t walk in if they came back earlier. The last thing Jimin or Y/n wanted was for the rest to notice that everything around them was crumbling, that it had all become a smoke screen. 

Y/n inhaled deeply, rummaging through her stuff, ignoring the clatter as she was on the brink of losing it. “I didn’t and if I did, it wasn’t intentionally. I had no fucking clue you were behind me.” It was a low mutter, but it was just as poisonous as Jimin’s tone which had been louder. At the back of her head, Y/n had been expecting Jimin to be right behind her, she was the whole reason why she was buzzing with cravings. 

“You slammed it in my face and an apology wouldn’t hurt you, Y/n.” Jimin had no clue why she was letting it drag on. She could have dropped it, she was aware that Y/n didn’t know and even if she did, Jimin knew she deserved ten more doors slammed closed in her face. 

“You want me to apologise?” Y/n snapped that easily and it had never happened between the two of them–the cravings only made it worse together with the tension of constantly being on their guard not to let anything slip past them. 

They never really fought to begin with. All those small fights that never meant anything, that never held any real frustrations, it was different now. Those pent-up emotions came out and spilled right over the head of the other. Y/n wanted to throw it at Jimin because her girlfriend had been doing it since they landed in Tokyo. They were being petty for the sake of being it and not for any good causes. Y/n tossed the stuff onto the table, ignoring the even louder clatter of the things and continued to look through her stuff. 

“Called manners.” She commented. It was like she knew that something so simple would irk Y/n more than she already was, especially in this state.

“Oh, so Karina wants to talk manners.” Y/n huffed and turned around, leaning back against the table. Her arms crossed as she gripped onto her arms, hiding the tremor in her fingers as the anger and everything else was overwhelming. She hated fighting with the girl, but it felt inevitable when they were alone in the room with so much tension already lingering between them. 

The past couple of fights they’ve had been nothing but hurtful with no apologies after, pretending it never happened to begin with. 

Jimin’s eyes squinted at the words, Y/n barely called her by her stage name even when they were on stage. Hearing her bring it up was enough to let her know what Y/n was pointing at.

Jimin was falling under the pressure of juggling work and a relationship she could no longer figure out. It had never been a problem for them, but she felt like she had failed her role in the group by letting personal conflicts get in the way. 

Nonetheless, it would be impossible to admit to now when they were in an argument that grew by the second. 

“Don’t comment on my work ethic when you barely have yours under control. You’re being sensitive.” She argued, knowing very well that she had been letting her complex emotions and confusion about where she and Y/n were heading get in the way of her professionalism. 

“You’re the one crying over a door.” Y/n scoffed in disbelief, pointing at the door in question that was behind Jimin. The girl pulled on the strings of her hoodie in frustration at Y/n’s words. It only fueled her on, she couldn’t remember being able to get this angry with Y/n before, she had never thought that she could get angry with her. Or maybe it wasn’t anger that she felt towards Y/n, but just frustration because of how confusing their relationship had turned. How dead it was. 

Maybe she was angry at herself, at the world, or at how confusing love could be. She was angry at the fact that they let it die to begin with. 

“Because you slammed it in my face!” This time she let her voice fly way above what she imagined she would, her foot stomping down in frustration. The tears welled up in her eyes so easily, that constant haunting fragile mentality as everything was hurting and it didn’t let her breathe. 

“Because you are doing a shit job at being a leader!” Y/n watched Jimin pace around, watching how desperately she tried to get rid of her tears. Those tears of frustration, not knowing how else to take it out she yelled at Y/n and cried, but there was only so much that could cover her tears now. 

“Don’t comment on my work ethic, Y/n.” She repeated and found herself in front of Y/n, it almost felt dangerous to be so close to each other at a moment like this. It was scary because they had never had these fights and being so close to what used to be just comfort felt wrong, it felt wrong to bring these feelings into their safety net.

It ruined their purpose, the place they went to when they wanted to escape these feelings, the pressure, the world. It was all truly gone, wasn’t it?

She could feel it all spiral, leaving them with no control over what happened between them in the room.

“Someone has to when you forget how to separate relationships from work. Be a fucking leader and answer a fucking question instead of shutting me out because of our personal life.”

“It’s not easy when this is what it looks like!” She threw her arms, motioning to the mess they were together, the one they both had been avoiding because of how complicated it was. It was hard not to notice, but impossible to truly acknowledge and so it all mixed into everything else.  

“Nothing is ever easy for you, is it? That’s why I always become your punching bag when things go wrong.” The words left Y/n bitterly, her hands gripping onto the table behind her as she exhaled these deep breaths that helped with nothing. Watching Jimin with tears in her eyes wasn’t helping, but Y/n felt like the girl had been trampling all over her. She was using her title as a leader and girlfriend in a nonchalant way, she was neglecting Y/n as a member and not a lover. 

“That’s not true and you know it.” Jimin knew that it was all true, her tone faltering as she would feel even more guilty if she raised her voice to spit out lies. It hurt too much to say the truth of the situation. 

“It has been even more true lately,” Y/n muttered, her eyes leaving Jimin’s. 

It felt like the woman in front of her was trying to coax her into forgiving her without Jimin having to apologise. Y/n was done doing those things. She couldn’t put it all aside like all the other times when she accepted Jimin’s apologies she never even said. The ones where Y/n blatantly admitted to being wrong even when she wasn’t because she didn’t want to fight or see Jimin cry.

“Because–because—” Now came the difficult part for Jimin who had no good excuse for this and she knew that she was wrong. The problem bigger than this one was her pride and ego, they got in the way, especially now after how tense everything has been.  

“It doesn’t matter. Nothing is changing.” It made Jimin’s heart drop, Y/n’s stomach twisting at her own words that she never wanted to say. It was what it felt like though. 

She gently grabbed Jimin’s shoulder to have her step aside as she stood up to walk out the door. 

“Don’t say that.” A quiver fell from between her lips, a lump in Jimin’s throat that cut deep and made it all bleed much worse than it already was. Her hand grabbed Y/n’s to have her stay because, in the end, she didn’t want her lover to leave, not just yet and she quickly stopped in front of Y/n. She would never accept those words, not now at least because hearing them made her lightheaded, it made her chest clench and she wanted to collapse onto the floor to be swallowed before she could feel more pain.

“Where’s our manager? I need her to buy cig–”

“You’re not smoking just because things go wrong for us!” It wasn’t possible to speak with a quivering voice, it was too soft so she raised her voice again. She still cared about Y/n as a member, friend, lover and person, it didn’t matter what was going on between them. Jimin would always care about Y/n. Her hand bunched up the material of Y/n’s shirt in her hand as to keep the girl from leaving her. She refused to let go, in the end, she wasn’t supposed to want anything else but Y/n and even if her feelings were different she clung to that idea. 

That there was only one person for the both of them.

“Is this something else you want to cry about!? You didn’t bring my shit with you because you’re being petty and expect me to break habits.” It had become a habit, Jimin had become someone Y/n relied on with most of her things. If Jimin had been packing certain things for her it had become a habit that she would do it every time and it never crossed Y/n’s mind to do it herself anymore. 

It had never bothered Jimin either and now it was doing nothing but pissing both of them off. Those flaws they had accepted and learned to love before were nothing but a hassle to deal with now and they wanted the other to erase them and change. To change so they could learn to love these new people they would become.

“If you said that you quit for me then fucking keep the promise or will you break them all just because it isn’t working out for us at the moment? And I’m not your mother, Y/n, why do you rely on me packing your fucking things!” She shoved Y/n by the shoulder, wanting to get her away from her even for a split second because she was boiling over with emotions. It would never end well no matter who they were fighting with when there were too many emotions.

Jimin felt conflicted at her own pushing and pulling as she one second wanted no one but Y/n and the other second she couldn’t stand the girl.

“Everything I did for you feels like a waste at the moment when all you give me is headaches, Jimin.” Y/n’s voice was rough and loud, ignoring that they had more performances tomorrow. Jimin could feel the vibrations in her ribcage and she harshly wiped away the tears. It felt like Y/n didn’t deserve her tears at this exact moment, not after those words. She snivelled, still unable to stop them though because how couldn’t she cry when this was what they were now?

They continuously watched what they used to be washed away with each wave that clashed with their shore and dragged away the good to leave filth behind instead.

“I fucking regret even giving you an ounce of my time and life because you’re nothing but a pain to look after. You don’t get to be angry at me because I had to worry about not forgetting my stuff and yours on top of everything!” She couldn’t help but feel like all the blame was now coming her way and maybe she had let Y/n get too comfortable. Jimin couldn’t help it then, but the longer it went on the more she realised that it wouldn’t work that way. 

“You’re like a manchild for fuck’s sake.” Jimin groaned out as it continued to dawn upon her how much of an immature child Y/n could be. Had she been blind all this time? Why did she suddenly mind it? Why were these words even leaving her mouth when she had always loved and accepted Y/n for the person that she was? Were they just looking for reasons to make it all stop? 

“You made it a habit and I stuck to it. Suck it up the same way I have to suck up when I’m your punching bag whenever things don’t go your way.” Y/n couldn’t help but truly realise how much she always let Jimin get away with. The things she would say, the things she would do that hurt, Y/n always forgave her for every little thing because Jimin could do no wrong in her eyes. Jimin was spiralling right now because Y/n hadn’t forgiven her yet for how she had been pushing the younger girl around for the past few days as a member of the same group.

Here she was, still letting the woman in front of her shove her around and blame her for her own mistakes. The way she always forgave Jimin within seconds when she saw tears in her eyes even if Jimin was in the wrong. Y/n felt played by the older now as she realised how their dynamic had worked. 

Y/n would always be the one to take the blame even when it wasn’t hers to take. 

Jimin would always be the one to suffer from how much she took on herself willingly because Y/n couldn’t do it.

“You were playing video games instead of packing even after you saw how stressed I was with my stuff. You got upset over your motion sickness patches, your headphones, fucking lenses and now your gum. I’m fucking surprised you packed your clothes!” 

“I’m sorry that I couldn’t even enter the room without you getting pissed off because I would breathe. I’m not the one being immature but you, Jimin. You are the one who mixed our relationship into work, you’re the one who isn’t professional–” The older girl could feel herself boil over with anger with each point that Y/n made, each word pushing her closer to the edge. She felt like the points Y/n made were being invalidated, Y/n had yet to accept it for what it was and Jimin hated having the truth about herself being pointed out this way. 

“–the one to force habits and then thinking you can just switch them up within a second because you suddenly don’t like what you wanted. Not the whole world revolves around you, but you’ve been too fucking selfish lately to realise it.” Despite all the coldness between them and all that seemed gone, they hung on because every day small things happened that gave them hope–small gestures were enough and they were brought back to the past. It felt as if Jimin hadn’t been trying to work towards each other, but away from each other. “I’m always looking out for you and caring for you.”

Jimin was simply too scared to move anywhere at all because it felt like the smallest mistake would make what was left fall apart fully. She felt paralysed by how scared she was of the truth. It was like having bricks constantly pile on her chest, it was difficult to breathe with them there, and it was difficult to move with them there. The girl felt like she was chained to the pits of hell while staring up at heaven in hopes of it coming down to her. 

What it ended with was it looked like she was selfish for being too scared to move, as if she wanted the world to revolve around her. And maybe if it did it would make everything easier for her. 

“Go fuck yourself Y/n and stop trying to make yourself look like a hero when you make as many mistakes as I do.” Jimin scoffed and wiped at her eyes as she pushed past Y/n, they both felt completely neglected and invalidated by the other. The reality of what it always has been wasn’t easy to swallow because it had never bothered them until now. She was aware that she made mistakes, but Y/n made them too and couldn’t claim the title of a hero when they did as much caring as they did hurting.

Y/n turned on her heels as Jimin pushed past her, she could see the anger, despair and distress clouding her. It was like a grey cloud over their heads, constantly being there for them when they didn’t want it. “It doesn’t excuse your mistakes either and considering my girlfriend won’t do it, yeah, I will ‘cause she’s too busy being stuck up.” Y/n could tell that the last of her words were too much, that they were too disrespectful and insensitive, and that she shouldn’t even be thinking about it right now. Maybe Jimin was right about being nothing but a ‘manchild’. 

Y/n truly felt the consequences of her words when Jimin felt them dig deep into her heart and it was enough to throw everything else out. It was just for a second and she knew she could regret it and feel guilty about it later. The stinging on her palm would subside, but feeling disrespected by Y/n for the first time in her life would linger far longer as she turned back around and landed it across the younger’s cheek. 

“You’re an immature fucking child, Y/n. I’m not just for your pleasure and needs, so fucking respect me.” She spat out, holding onto the girl’s shirt with her stinging hand as it all shut Y/n up. The two were able to very clearly see through each other like glass, it wasn’t even like glass, but air from how clear it was and all they could see was pain and hurt. They caused each other pain and hurt and everything else they used to make each other feel was gone—but then came those moments where it wasn’t gone even if it was for a second and so they held on.

They both felt horrible as Jimin grabbed her things while wiping her tears, not sparing Y/n more glances. All she knew was that she needed to cry to let it all subside for even a bit. Y/n slumped down on the couch, the nicotine cravings slapped out of her. She held her cold palm against her cheek trying to ease the pulsating pain she knew she deserved and Jimin did too as they both were suffering for keeping each other chained down. 

Maybe they had never been perfect, to begin with.

Were all these things stuff they had always wanted to say and they now took the opportunity to do so since everything was already falling apart? Did they hold back on saying these things before because they were scared that they would ruin everything? Or were these things something that should have been brought up a long time ago to make it work out? 

They couldn’t answer that. No one could because it was too late.

Jimin had known that she would feel bad after, that the guilt would eat at her. She was terrified that their relationship had taken a new step forward, towards a goal they didn’t want to reach when Y/n slept in Minjeong’s hotel room. The two peers–in age–were close in the end and so Jimin spent the night tossing and turning wondering if the truth would come out now. That their love was under ruins, crushed and bleeding to death, setting the truth in stone and burying what they used to have six feet under to start a new life. 

She wondered if Y/n spent the whole night awake. Jimin could barely fall asleep knowing they were in the same bed, but with their backs turned to each other, let alone after what happened. She could barely sleep because of how her insides twisted in hopes of escaping to get away from the excruciating pain. The part of them being away after what went down only made her even more anxious. 

The girl got her answers the next day when Y/n was tired and Minjeong went on about her day without a single knowing glance or word. 

They had avoided each other unless they were on stage, but the second they came off it was back to normal. The new normal, they both missed the old normal but they seemingly couldn’t go back to it. 

Or so they thought because once again all that they had been missing poured over them like a rainstorm. 

The simple idea for all of them to go out and eat after the days of performing. There had been an undoubtful tension between the two and not for the same reason they would like to think. It felt horrible to sit beside each other without having apologised for what had happened. However, the longer they sat at the table the closer they seemed to get, but it could have been the alcohol in their veins. 

“I swear, it’s the first time these two aren’t all over each other.” 

Y/n felt a slight heat shoot through her, one of anxiety at Ning’s drunken words because now everyone seemed aware of the situation. It could have been the fact that they dared to speak up about it when they were drunk. Y/n didn’t know what it was, but she toyed with one of the side dishes, knowing that she and Jimin always got more affectionate when they were drunk.

“Tired, that’s all…” Y/n mumbled, trailing off as she looked over at Jimin who sat right beside her–the rest continuing the chatter. The two had been coming closer and closer with each shot of soju and every beer they finished. They could feel the other's heat on them, craving each other in this state no matter what had happened between them for the past months. They craved the affection of the other so much that it hurt, it was boiling from the inside and they were waiting for the other to cave in so they could be close. 

She watched for a second more as Jimin struggled with the marinated perilla leaf, lip between her teeth as she gently swayed, going over her limit this time. Y/n would always be the one to cave in for the older girl. Jimin rarely drank more than she could handle and even that was a lot, but Y/n could tell she was trying to drown herself further. The older woman was already drowning in all her emotions and trying to drown them in alcohol only intensified it all and Jimin felt like she would burst any second and start begging in front of everyone else. 

Y/n turned in her seat the slightest, her attention on the woman who was still the most beautiful one she had ever seen. The one she desired, but it was all so different no matter how beautiful they both were to each other. Her right hand reached over to Jimin, brushing the hair behind her ear and reaching with her left for the leaf. 

Eyes were glossed over, like polished glass from alcohol when Jimin finally looked up and Y/n picked up the leaf, her hand still holding back the hair so it wouldn’t get in the way. 

It was crushing both of them. Jimin felt her world brighten up with hope that had no space in their world anymore, but she wasn’t letting go yet. Y/n fed her with eyes gazing over Jimin’s features, feeling excruciating pain at the fact that she had made her cry, at the fact that they kept hurting each other unintentionally by holding on. It was worth it when these moments still managed to slip through the cracks and let in some light. 

Y/n let go of the latter's hair and wrapped her arm around Jimin’s waist when she leaned into her, resting her weight on Y/n’s side. Her hands found Y/n’s warmth as they pushed under the girl's loose sweater, doing all the holding on that she could. 

“I miss you.” They were sentimental words as Jimin gently whispered, her breath brushing over Y/n’s neck and the younger girl pulled her closer. Y/n took in a deep breath at how homesick she felt for a home she no longer had. They missed each other, they missed what they used to have, but no longer did and it dug into their hearts with no care, tearing them into pieces at how messy it felt. 

“I miss you–miss us,” Y/n mumbled, their world shutting the rest out, inhaling the smog-filled air of everything that had burned down to ashes. Jimin hummed as her eyes closed, hoping that the drunk sentiment would be able to suffice for now even if it was for just one night. All they needed was one night to figure it out, to get to feel what they missed and see if they could bring it all back to life. She felt Y/n’s soft lips press against her head and she nuzzled her face further into the scent that used to be a home and now was only what was left of one.

Her lips gently pressed over Y/n’s skin, her nails gently scratching over Y/n’s back as she moved her other hand up. She cupped the younger’s face, thumb caressing the porcelain-like skin she deeply regretted putting her hand on but she couldn’t regret it when she thought back on what they said to each other. Jimin deserved to suffer for her actions and Y/n deserved to suffer just as much. They would continue until they did the necessary.

Y/n got her head tilted down and looked at Jimin who rested her head against the younger’s shoulder. Her eyes pleaded for a remedy for all the heartbreak even if it was for just one night. To just get away from reality for a few hours. Her fingers brushed over Y/n’s cheek. Y/n gave a small nod and reached over for the beer she had left, finishing it and hoping it would all last long enough and not end the way it did a few days ago. 

“Will you guys mind if we leave early?” The girl asked, but it was already set in stone as she grabbed her jacket and helped Jimin up. They looked over at the two who were closer to each other than they had been for the past few months as Y/n put her jacket over Jimin. 

“Not at all,” Aeri replied, the rest humming in agreement.

It was a short walk to the hotel, wrapped up in each other the whole way and not letting go for a second as they walked in silence, scared to let go or say something that would make it difficult to be this way again. 

They at last did let go as they walked inside the hotel room, but it all shifted for a second as Y/n kicked off her shoes and sat down at the foot of the bed. There was no escaping this landslide, the clash that destroyed so much as she missed what she used to have with Jimin, but had no clue if they could get that back. It tied knots around her heart and tugged on it constantly. 

The latter managed to get her shoes off, the jacket falling after her as she walked over to Y/n. Despite the slight blur, she could see clearly through everything else and now was the only time she knew she could apologise. 

It used to be easier. 

“Y/n…” 

The girl took a deep breath and looked away from her hands and at Jimin who kneeled beside her. Her chin rested against Y/n’s thigh as she stared up at her girlfriend, her lower lip slightly jutted out. The younger one hummed, her hand running through Jimin’s hair as she caressed her scalp gently, missing the touch of someone else. The back of her fingers trailed over Jimin’s cold cheek who grabbed hold of Y/n’s hand, intertwining their fingers.

The silence braced them as they stared at each other, heads tilting, ears filling with the heavy yet soft breaths from alcohol-filled veins, the buzz of the outside world only faint. That silence of acceptance of what their love was, what it used to be and how it no longer was. 

Jimin heaved a sigh and rested her cheek against Y/n’s thigh, staring off into the dimly lit hotel room. The sentiment of sorrow, sadness and nostalgia as everything had become too farro reach now and it would be hard to save anything. If they could continue to pretend then everything would go back to being fine. If they lived a lie long enough, it would become their reality. 

“I’m sorry about the other day—” She mumbled, slumped on the floor and her gaze moved as she tilted her head to look Y/n in the eye. Their eyes connected, filled with the buzz of alcohol, and the perception of the fake reality they had created in their head washed over them. Those small gestures that made hope wash over them wouldn’t change anything, would they? They didn’t want to think about it. “I shouldn’t have raised my hand,” her lips momentarily formed into a pout at the disdain she felt for her actions.

Jimin knew there was no excuse for it even if she felt like an emotional wreck. They were losing control and it was starting to deeply affect them. They were going full speed through crossings with no hands on the wheels, covering their eyes to not look at the truth and soon enough they would crash right into a wall. 

“It’s okay, it’s fine,” Y/n always let Jimin get away with everything and nothing would probably ever change that.

Jimin shook her head, lifting it from Y/n’s thigh as she got up to stand on her two feet. Y/n’s fingers tangled into the sweatshirt the girl had on as she stood between her legs. Despite the slight tremors in Jimin’s fingers, buzzing with more than just alcohol, but also a surge of feelings, the uncertainty, longing, feelings of loss and hope; she cupped Y/n’s face in her hands. Her touch was soft as Y/n’s glimmering eyes met her.

“I shouldn’t have acted the way I did either.” Y/n mumbled, closing her eyes and resting in Jmin’s hands who caressed her features with her thumbs. They still would always melt at the affection because it was normal to crave, but it didn’t feel like it used to. Aside from it feeling good, those other things didn’t spread across them. “I’m sorry.” 

That sorry felt like it was for more than what happened in that room and Jimin knew it. She knew that the apology was because they both genuinely felt bad for letting a promise of forever die. 

‘I love you.’

‘Never stop loving me, Y/n.’

‘I will love you forever, I promise.’

‘I will love you forever, Y/n, I will always care about you.’

‘Don’t cry, Jimin, I’m always here for you.’

Jimin deeply exhaled and closed her eyes before she could let the tears even form and with a lump in her throat she closed the gap between them. Their lips met in a kiss to suckle on the hope left in them. It was eagerness, it was to forget and not to remember. Y/n’s hands grabbed hold of Jimin’s hips, pulling her closer.

They tilted their heads to meet tongues that tasted as bitter as the beer they had and the longing for what they had lost, as sweet as the sake they downed and the reverie they lived in. It was with desperation because it felt like it was the last of them that was left and they would do everything to latch onto it and stick forever. The forever they had promised. 

Jimin ran her fingers through Y/n’s hair, pushing deeper, wanting to feel more, she needed more. She needed Y/n, she missed the touch against her body and that was all that it felt like for them now. The fulfilment of each other’s needs and nothing else as Jimin discarded Y/n’s sweater, letting it fall to the floor. Her cool hands ran over the warm skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps, emotions swirling under their skin as they pulled away to remove Jimin’s top. 

Their eyes locked, looking for something, searching, but they had no clue what they were trying to find anymore. It ended quicker than expected and their lips met once again, meeting tongues and letting out desperate sounds. Y/n’s fingertips grazed over Jimin’s skin as if the girl was made of gold, the gentle and careful touch making the latter bubble with more need. She ran them over her sides, tracing every ridge, coming to her spine with one hand as the other slid over her ribs until she reached the hem of Jimin’s jeans. 

With ease she undid them and as they fell to the floor the older girl straddled Y/n who huffed at the weight that pressed down against her growing cock. As Jimin looked Y/n in the eye, the girl reached over to her face, brushing away the black strands of hair. She could still see a sparkle in Y/n’s eyes, but it was flickering. It wasn’t there for the same reasons that it used to sparkle. This was for the lust that would always linger inside their veins.

“Make me feel good, you owe me this,” Jimin mumbled, knowing that they both owed each other this for the things they had been putting the other through for the past months. This was finally their chance to make the other feel good in a way that was more than just sentimental. There was no sentiment in lust because it had never been part of it, but now it ruled them. 

She grabbed Y/n’s hand which was still by her face and captured those sweet lips while guiding the hand to the back of her bra. Jimin trailed her kisses away from Y/n’s lips and along her jawline, slowly going further and nuzzling her nose into her neck. The scent was still one of her favourites. She took it in and ran her tongue over the skin before wrapping her lips around it. 

It made Y/n stall with the bra, a faint whimper falling from between her lips as Jimin slowly started to gyrate her hips, rolling her heat against Y/n’s that was straining against her jeans. “I want your lips on me Y/n.” She breathed out against the red mark, wanting to feel the pleasure, they both wanted to be brought out of this hell they had painted as heaven. This was their chance. 

Y/n bit her lower lip, her neck being plated with kisses by Jimin all while the girl continued to press against her cock, grinding slowly while releasing shaky breaths between kisses. The girl managed to undo the bra and only then did her girlfriend pull away, letting Y/n remove it fully whose eyes focused on her chest right away. Jimin’s words hadn’t fallen deaf to her ears and all she wanted was to give the girl exactly what she wanted. This was the only thing that they could make work. 

“I love every inch of you.” Any other time the words would burn within Jimin’s soul and leave their mark and they had done so permanently, but they no longer reached as deep. They were all for the outside as they had changed from the inside towards each other. 

Her fingers tangled at the back of Y/n’s head, gently making her look her in the eye as she tilted her head. “Show me instead.” It was like a whisper, her lips ghosting Y/n’s, knowing that she would be able to feel more from actions rather than words now. 

Y/n manoeuvred them, laying Jimin down on the bed, legs wrapped around her waist as she stood by the edge of the bed. The girl bunched up the duvet beside Jimin’s head, taking one last look at her chest before she leaned down to show how much she appreciated her body. With fingers tangled in her hair and nails scratching her scalp Y/n started to leave scorching kisses along Jimin’s skin.

Her tongue soothed over the pulse, tenderly kissing down, her kisses tickling as she trailed down, taking in the soft hums and breaths that the girl let out. She came down to her collarbones, grazing her teeth over them, leaving her marks after her as those were the only good ones they managed to leave on each other now. Everything that went deeper hurt. 

A faint gasp left Jimin’s mouth when lips fervently latched onto her chest, all the heat running through her body and shooting straight to her aching clit. “Fuck,” was all that she could mutter at the warm tongue playing with her nipple, sucking on the tender flesh. Y/n’s devotion to what was left of them was shown through the way she consumed her flesh, leaving her bites to linger.

Y/n moved her mouth to the other nipple, her hand coming down to fondle the older’s chest. It was enough for more sounds to start coming from Jimin at the way her nipples were being played with and her chest littered with kisses. It made her thighs tense around Y/n’s waist, pulling her closer and when the rough material pressed against her cunt a moan fell from her lips. The younger girl hummed, pressing more against Jimin while toying with the hard nipples with her mouth and fingers, twisting and pulling, touching her in a way only she knew. 

It was yet another thing that was hard to let go of. The fact that they knew each other’s bodies so well and knew exactly what to do. It was all working against what should be done and driving them towards pipe dreams.

Her chest heaved, losing her words as they all came out breathless, being greedy for more to fill all the emptiness that had been growing for the past months. “You’re so good, baby.” She hummed, her eyes closing as her mind finally went empty, it went silent with everything else and all they could focus on was the moment and not what was and what would be. It was enough to make Y/n’s hips press more into Jimin, slowly moving them for friction while leaving the older’s chest glistening. 

She slowly started to move down further, kissing along the heaving slim stomach until she was on her knees in front of Jimin. The lacy black underwear seeped through with her arousal and Y/n’s fingers hooked at their hem, looking up at Jimin who was sitting up and looking down at her with lust-clouded eyes. She leaned back against her palms, raising her hips and letting Y/n peel off the last piece of her body.

Her hands ran over Jimin’s thighs, spreading her legs further apart while biting onto her lower lip at the view of her glistening pussy that was leaking with juices. She lifted the girl’s leg and rested it over her shoulder before she started to kiss along her inner thighs, gently biting and sucking on the soft flesh as her hands needily kneaded them. It made Jimin heave a sigh, her hand coming to grab hold of Y/n’s head, dwelling in the feeling of the butterfly kisses left along her inner thighs. 

Through her hooded eyes, she watched Y/n, making eye contact every time the younger looked up through her lashes for approval of what she was doing despite knowing Jimin’s body better than most things. Her fingers pressed into the flesh as her arm was wrapped around one of her thighs, inching closer until she reached the girl’s heat. It was enough to make the older girl squirm the slightest when she got pulled closer to the edge before feeling the wet muscle drag between her folds.

Y/n grabbed hold of her waist with her free hand, holding Jimin in place to not have her squirm too much. Her tongue ran between her folds, spreading the wetness as she dipped her head and circled the grasping hole. The grip on her hair tightened, ears being filled with soft moans and whimpers as she continued to work her tongue and lips around the puffy cunt. She sucked on her lips, enjoying the mess that was spreading on her chin, lapping every little bit up to get more on her tongue. 

Jimin slowly felt herself lose her mind at the teasing tongue, Y/n taking her time to continue working her up. The need continued to bubble inside her, her clit throbbing for attention and her hole clenching as she wanted to be filled until she would feel numb in the brain for at least a few minutes. This was finally something they could grasp at, the escape from everything even the daydream they had created, getting to a real one even if it wouldn’t last too long.

The light moans filled the hotel room when Y/n’s lips at last wrapped around her swollen clit, her tongue coming out to flick at the bud. The pace between slow and fast, sucking and flicking was making Jimin’s thighs tremble around the girl’s head. Her fingers were tangled in Y/n’s hair, pulling her closer to her pussy as her hips faintly bucked at the pleasure. 

Y/n drowned, getting as much pleasure from drowning between Jimin’s soft thighs as the girl above her was feeling from the tongue that was toying with her needy cunt. She caressed her heaving stomach with her other hand, kneading the plush flesh of her thigh as she felt Jimin pull her further into her with her leg that was on her shoulder. 

“Fuck, Y/n–” She whined, her breathing picking up and growing heavier the longer her clit was played with. She could feel it all slowly approaching her and soon enough she would reach the edge and fall off of it. 

The girl dipped her head, her nose rubbing against the swollen clit and her tongue lapped at the juices. The room filled with the sopping sounds of Jimin’s pussy and moans and Y/n’s mouth messily eating her out, moaning at the taste and tugs on her hair, her cock throbbing at how good it felt. With the sticky mess collected on her tongue, she circled her clit and went back to flicking at it and tugging with her lips. 

“So close, ‘m so close, baby.” 

Her body started to tense up, Y/n’s ears muffled at how the thighs locked around her head with her head being held in place. It made her sore tongue work harder to be able to hear Jimin’s voice go up higher. 

That was enough for the older girl to lose her control and the sounds started to spill from her mouth, moaning Y/n’s name in a high pitch. Her body got consumed by heat as her vision blacked out and her ears started to buzz when the orgasm hit its peak as Y/n continued to flick at her clit. It was making her whine and buck her hips for more until she felt herself crash back down to reality. She heaved for air, loosening her grip on Y/n’s hair and the girl slowed down, only leaving small kisses along her skin that was scorching. 

When she got back up on her feet their lips met in a vivid kiss, Jimin’s hands working on Y/n’s jeans to undo the loose material. She tugged them down together with Y/n’s boxers, her hand wrapping around the thick cock that was scalding in her hold as she pumped it, smearing the precum as she reached the swollen tip. The whimpers that fell from Y/n’s lips were swallowed by Jimin, moaning into the intense kiss. 

She pulled Y/n down, making her lay down on the bed, the younger girl moved back until she was in the middle of the bed, leaning against her elbows. Her eyes were on Jimin who got on the bed before crawling over to her. They got engulfed in each other's heat as she straddled Y/n who slumped back, running her hands over the girl’s thighs and to the back of her ass to caress it. 

“No one knows me like you do.” She whispered, leaning down and letting her lips brush over Y/n’s with her fingers tracing along her jawline. No one knew Jimin like Y/n did and no one knew Y/n like Jimin did and even if it looked the way it did, they carried that fact with pride. She pecked the girl's lips, pulling away and letting Y/n chase after her as she tried to grab hold of Jimin’s face, but got her hands pinned down to the bed. 

“Jimin–” She tried although was cut off as she let her head fall back against the mattress, fingers twisting the duvet as her wrists were held down by the girl on top of her. 

“I hate that now.” She admitted, hating that no one knew her as well as Y/n and that no one would ever get to know her as well again. They had learned from their mistakes and now no one would ever be able to compare. There was no one she would open up to like this again, not when it hurt so much when it all died. They didn’t want to go through this pain twice when they never wanted to experience it to begin with.

“I know.” Jimin huffed, her lips brushing over Y/n’s neck because obviously, the younger girl would know that Jimin hated it now. “Do you regret it?” Y/n mumbled, doing her best to not squirm under the girl who was leaving light kisses along her neck. The words from the other day still lingering, but Jimin knew that she never meant what she said about regretting it.

“No matter how much it hurts–” Jimin pulled away and looked Y/n in the eye, the younger’s head tilting to the side as she stared up at her with hopeful eyes. Y/n’s eyes alone were enough for Jimin to know the answer, she knew it right away as she reached her hand down to Y/n’s face, one still holding her wrists down. Her thumb tenderly caressed along Y/n’s cheek and over her lips. “I could never regret everything I’ve given you.” And everything she gave was all that she had after she placed herself in Y/n’s hands and she would always be there even if what made her give herself in the first place had withered. 

Her thumb tugged down on Y/n’s lip before she leaned down and attached their lips once again. Sighs fell from between their lips, Jimin’s hand running between their bodies to grab hold of Y/n’s cock. 

Y/n pulled away from the kiss, panting for air as her eyes fell between their bodies, watching Jimin drag the swollen tip through her folds, the slickness and warmth were enough to make Y/n bite back a whine at how good it felt. The grip on her wrists tightened when her tip made contact with Jimin’s clenching hole, slowly pushing into the tightness that sucked her in. 

“So tight.” The younger mumbled, her chest heaving at the anticipation as she watched herself slowly disappear inside of the girl on top of her, splitting her folds with her cock. The tight walls engulfed her length, grasping it and sucking her inside with greed as they continuously clenched at the stretch. 

“You make me feel so full.” Jimin sighed with a whine at the slight pain. 

Y/n’s eyes stayed glued on how her cock got engulfed by Jimin’s tight pussy, splitting her lips around the thick shaft and she slowly moved. The older girl hummed, letting go of Y/n’s wrists. Both her palms rested on top of the girl’s stomach with her nails slightly digging in at the painful stretch. Hands caressed her thighs while she lowered herself until she felt Y/n deep inside her, filling her to the hilt. 

Y/n dropped her head, shutting her eyes tightly when she was fully inside Jimin who let out a light moan at the feeling. Her cock was throbbing, twitching at how good it felt, the warm and wet walls were pulsating around her and her stomach flexed with every little move. 

She slowly started moving her hips back and forth, her clit still sensitive from her first orgasm as it dragged along Y/n’s pelvis. Her walls fluttered, and being filled up was making her crave more at how good it felt. The feeling of Y/n’s veiny cock raw inside her tight cunt was overwhelmingly good, making out each vein that dragged along her walls.

She gyrated them as they whined back and forth on Y/n’s dick whose lips were parted at the way it dragged along the clenching walls. Her ears were graced by Jimin’s soft gasps and sighs, nails digging into her stomach. The older’s thighs flexed, her walls pulsating and clit throbbing as she slowly increased her speed, chasing her pleasure by using Y/n. 

“I love using your cock to make myself feel good,” Jimin whined, her head getting thrown back and Y/n groaned at the words that made her dick ache inside the hot and wet cunt of the girl. Their bodies moved and fit together perfectly like waves that collided against waves, their bodies buzzing with that feeling from the inside as their head splashed with desires. 

Her chest heaved at the sight of her girlfriend grinding along her cock, watching how she chased her high once again. The sounds were starting to get more lewd with each moan falling from the girl’s lips, Jimin’s wetness coating Y/n’s base and the mess only got bigger.

“You look so good doing it.” Y/n could feel the way the walls clasped around her at the words, the girl taking all the pleasure in using Y/n for her benefit as Y/n enjoyed it just as much. The way the girl would go on and have her orgasms before Y/n even got to think of hers.

Jimin was on top of her with a vice grip on her cock with her sopping cunt. Y/n’s hands were on her the thighs flexed with each movement and her tip was hitting all the right spots deep inside her. She watched the way the older gasped and threw her head back, dragging her swollen clit along Y/n’s pelvis. Jimin reached behind her and held onto Y/n’s tense thighs instead, rolling her hips in a way that was making her stomach tighten and warm up as she fucked herself on top of the girl.

“I’m so close, baby–fuck, so good.” Her voice cut into a higher pitch as the orgasm started to wash over her with her hips bucking for more and Y/n’s thumb found its way to her swollen clit. She circled the bud as Jimin kept bucking her hips against her, watching the way her chest bounced with each movement.

The throbbing walls clasped around her cock, squeezing it tightly enough for the movement to slow down. Her thighs quivered and she let out cries of pleasure, her voice light and bringing Y/n closer to the edge at how good she looked on top of her. Nails dug into Y/n’s thighs, heat pouring over Jimin’s whole body at her second orgasm.

She heaved for breath, stopping her movement and shivering at the shocks going through her warm body. Her body got engulfed in Y/n’s arms when the girl sat up, her cock still buried deep within the confines of Jimin’s pulsating pussy. She wrapped her arms around Y/n’s shoulders, palms running over her back which was covered in a sheen of sweat. 

As Jimin looked at Y/n, she didn’t want to be done yet, she wished she could drag this out for the rest of her life. To make this serene moment last forever as their bodies became one and all that had been on her mind disappeared. Those worries were gone, it was just now, the present forgotten and the future didn’t exist until it was tomorrow and by then it was present again. 

She tangled her fingers at the back of Y/n’s hair, slowly moving up and down while pulling Y/n more into her. Their breaths mingled, parted lips grazing until she caught Y/n’s lower lip between hers and gently tugged. It was all that they needed, to be back in each other’s arms, to be close and it started to ignite the spark of hope although it didn’t seem to glow strong enough as it continued to flicker back to life before disappearing. 

“I miss you–so much,” Jimin mumbled as she pulled away, moving her hips back and forth as Y/n’s breaths grew heavier. The younger buried her face in the crook of her neck, planting tender kisses. Jimin could feel it all coming back, maybe she hadn’t been drunk enough, or maybe no matter how drunk she was on lust and alcohol she would never be able to drown out the pain of a breaking heart. 

The alcohol and lust weren’t able to mend their hearts. 

Y/n looked up when Jimin pulled her away from her sweltering neck, their eyes met, Jimin’s were glimmering and the entry to her soul had always been open for Y/n. The longer she stared into the window of her soul, the more she realised how crushed Jimin was and it was enough to clarify that they were both suffering. Her hand smoothed over Y/n’s jaw, running along it as she tilted the girl’s head back, her movement not stopping as she watched Y/n slowly crumble under her.

It was shattering her insides to see Y/n this way, the same way it was shattering Y/n to see Jimin like that. They had never thought that the person they loved the most would be the one to destroy them the most too. 

Love was lethal no matter how much two people loved each other.

“Fuck–” Y/n breathed out, being cut off by Jimin’s soft lips, the girl could feel the length inside her grow harder and twitch as it was clasped inside her heat. They swallowed each other’s moans until they no longer could and the older’s pace picked up, her ass colliding with Y/n’s thighs each time she went down while letting out quick and sharp breaths. Y/n’s hands gripped onto her ass, fingers digging into the soft yet firm flesh as she helped Jimin move, feeling the movement slack off at times. 

A soft and light moan escaped Jimin’s lips, grounding herself down on Y/n’s cock, arms wrapped around her shoulders as she panted against her neck. Teeth dug into her shoulder, the whimper suppressed from the younger as she could feel the ropes of cum shoot one after another into her, painting her walls white. Y/n pulled away from her shoulder, slipping out of Jimin’s warmth as they eased down to reality.

Everything stilled as the younger girl still held Jimin in her arms, caressing her warm back while taking deep breaths. It felt like neither of them planned to move any second as the girl snuggled closer into Y/n’s neck, burying her face in the crook of it, her eyes shutting tightly.

It was making Jimin’s chest heave at the panic she felt because she could only watch it all slip through her fingers, unable to do anything to save it.

The attempt to suppress her sobs was feeble as the first one slipped through and then a second followed and her tears were staining Y/n’s skin once again. “Jimin–” 

“I’m scared, Y/n.” She cried into her neck, sobbing and snivelling as it overwhelmed her once again, this time she wasn’t able to hold back on releasing what was heavily on her chest. It didn’t matter how scared they were to bring up the obvious because the thought of how it would end was terrifying. Neither wanted it to end. However, the realisation dawned upon them and it would all end much sooner than intended if they did nothing about it. 

“I’m right here.” Y/n slowly pulled her away, manoeuvring Jimin’s body like fragile butterfly wings that could crumble with a little too much pressure. The girl continued to cry, pulling her knees to her chest, crying into them as Y/n draped the duvet over her, covering her naked body. 

She couldn’t grasp at it, at how all the promises died the second their love did, that they made promises they couldn’t keep and it never should have been this way. They promised to love each other forever and they did, but it no longer was the love that was beyond care and compassion. It was adoration and not love, the love; was gone. 

Jimin refused to accept it, no, she couldn’t accept that and would dig through every little corner until she found something that would help the withered flower bloom back to life. She’d shed all her tears until her eyes would be bleeding just to have enough to water their flower of love that had died. There had to be some way to save it even if it hurt, even if it hurt more than it already did.

Y/n got back onto the bed after she pulled on her boxers, Jimin was still crying into her knees until the younger girl sat behind her, the duvet resting over the both of them. She held back on her tears as she cradled the weeping girl’s head, lending her shoulder to cry on once again and she would continue doing so until her last breath. It would never matter what type of love they held for each other, she would always care even if everything else they used to have that was deeper had died. 

It was a death neither of them knew how to cope with.

“I’m here for you.” She reassured her, kissing the top of her head.

“I hate this, Y/n—” Her sobs cut through her words, her hands gripping the duvet before they let go, feeling hopeless; what was there to hold on to in reality? There was nothing to hold onto as they both freely fell through hell for each other. It made them weak in so many ways. “Nothing is the same anymore and I don’t know what to do.” Acceptance was hard for anyone, it had always been hard, but it was even harder when it came to something they made their whole lives revolve around. How could they just accept that their worlds no longer circled the other? 

It stung, it hurt deeply to think that this was possible, something they had never thought about had become their reality. The flower that bloomed with their love was dead. Yet these tears and the pain they felt at the thought of needing to let go made them want to try again. One last try to revive something that had been dead and cold for months. If some miracle happened, they would be able to bring it back to life. Their love would bloom from a dead flower at some point, they would continue watering it with their tears, crying over the dead flower that was their love in hopes of it coming back to life.

“We can make it work again.” Y/n wasn’t brave enough to say the words, she wasn’t strong enough to say them for Jimin and herself. To admit for the both of them that what was lost was lost and that it was time to say goodbye and bury their love because there was nothing to save once it was already gone.It was too difficult to bury it when they had yet to accept its death. They had no clue how to cope with everything.

It was eating at them, tearing them apart and glueing them back together into an even bigger mess.

“We can fix everything,” Y/n reassured, knowing that these could as well be empty words and new promises to break, but she couldn’t give up. She couldn’t give up on Jimin even if they were mistaking care and compassion for a small ember of love that they could turn into a fire. That fire had gone out a while ago and what was left were ashes.

“Do you think that’s possible?” She whimpered, wanting to do anything to try and grasp at that false little ember of hope.

“I don’t know,” Y/n whispered, just as uncertain, but she would do anything for Jimin even if it meant ruining herself. 

They couldn’t know, but at least it was reassurance that they didn’t have to let go yet and could continue no matter how much it hurt because it would hurt even more if they were apart. It was too difficult to let go of someone they had built their lives around. They would hurt for each other and they would choose that over happiness with someone else because no one would ever be able to give them what they used to have.

They longed for each other’s love. They missed it and just wanted to feel it again but it was all gone. It no longer felt like it used to and they missed those feelings they used to have. Where did they go wrong for it to happen in the first place? What were they supposed to do to fix it? Let go and move on. Stay and continue to drag through the impossible to try and fix it?

They weren’t in love anymore, they just loved each other.

[watchmegetobsessed]

ON REPEAT

A/N: we all saw the vid of him tongueing his guitar... yeah... the devil works hard but i work harder

WORD COUNT: 2.4k

WARNING: sexual content

SUMMARY: As his personal assistant, you definitely shouldn't be havin dirty thoughts of Harry, especially not about the way his tongue on his guitar. But it's hard to resist and you need relief, but you never thought your boss would be more than willing to help you out.

MASTERLIST | SUPPORT ME!

You watch it happen and in a third of a second you are no different than the screaming girls out there in the pit and the stands, only that you can’t scream from the top of your lungs when Harry mimics to be playing his guitar with his tongue.

It’s vile. It’s maddening and it should definitely not turn you on the way it does, because he is your boss. He is not just a rock star for you, a person far out of your reach, he is your job, you manage his everyday life for a living so you surely should not be having dirty thoughts at the sight of his tongue on a guitar’s neck.

But you do. You very much do and the fantasies are so bad you can actually feel your panties getting wet in an instant as you stand by the stage and watch him carry his performance on as if he didn’t just destroy all ovaries in the arena and because there’s probably hundreds of videos now of his little stunt, you know it will continue to sweep through the whole world by the morning.

The after show period is the same as always. Harry runs off stage, he changes faster than lightning and before the first people could step out of the arena the two of you are in the backseat of a car, heading out to avoid the traffic his own show usually creates.

“You’re quiet tonight,” he comments.

You don’t dare to look at him, especially not because you can smell him from this close, locked up together in the car. The smell of his shower gel from before the show is still lingering on his skin but it is not mixed with his sweat, the smell of his own body that you spent two hours to stare at and have the most ravenous and lustful thoughts you’ve ever had since you’ve realized you have a crush on your boss.

This is what hell must be like.

“I’m good, just tired,” you shrug and continue staring out the window. You can feel his excruciating gaze on you, it’s burning your skin, but you keep your eyes on the outside world, hoping to survive this five minute car ride without moaning or whimpering in front of him.

You practically run to your room once you’ve parted ways in the hallway and when you throw yourself onto the perfectly made bed you scream into the pillow, letting out the pent up frustration you battled with all evening.

Out of all men in the world why did you have to fall for your boss? Why do you find him the best looking man to ever exist? Your body and mind has betrayed you and now you have to bear the consequences of it.

Your teeth sink into your bottom lip when you pull your phone out and go online, looking for a video of the guitar stunt. It takes about five seconds to stumble upon it and because it was taken by a fan, it was recorded from a lower point and it just adds to the weight of it.

You watch it over and over and over… and over again.

And before you could even realize what you’re doing, your hand is between your legs, applying pressure at the right spot over your shorts, your heart beat is picking up and an occasional swear word leaves your parted lips every once in a while.

What you don’t notice is that you did not close your room’s door fully when you rushed inside, so when Harry comes over to ask if he could grab your phone charger, because his just died, he can easily push the door open and step inside without making a sound when he hears your whimpers and the video playing over and over again.

He knows which part it is, he remembers it clearly, because he knew it would make his fans go crazy, but he did not expect to catch you watching it back… and enjoy it this much.

He stays hidden for a bit and selfishly listens to your sounds. Adrenaline boosts through his veins as he realizes that you’re playing with yourself while watching the video of him and well… it is definitely doing things to him.

Just like the shorts you were wearing tonight, all those silky skin you were showing, the curve of your ass peeking out from underneath, Harry had to take a second shower when he saw you bend down for something. And now he caught you playing with yourself while thinking about him.

He knows he has to make a decision. Walk out, close the door and pretend he never heard anything or walk in and do what he’s been fantasizing about probably since he hired you to be his assistant.

His legs move before the decision is processed in his mind.

He walks out from his hiding spot and it takes a moment for you to register his presence and realize that it’s not just a hallucination, he did in fact just walk into your room while you were masturbating to a video of him.

“Oh my God!” you scream and the phone goes flying out of your hands, dropping to the floor, but the video is still playing. Your heart is threatening to burst right out of your chest and jump to Harry’s feet and you’re trying to grab the sheets to cover yourself even though you’re not naked, but Harry is quick to climb onto the bed and stop you from doing it. To put some more distance between the two of you, you push up against the headboard and shut your legs closed tight, horror etched onto your face as your mind is racing, trying to find a way to explain yourself, but you know there’s nothing you could say that would get you out of this mess.

Harry, on the other hand, is enjoying this more than he should, probably. The shame on your face, the way your body is still in a state of lust but also in shock, this is thrilling, knowing he did this to you, the woman who is usually so laid back he can’t ever read your body language.

His eyes are glued to your face as he reaches out and places his hands on your trembling knees. Part of him is disappointed you’re not rambling, trying to talk yourself out of it, but it’s also hot that you are not denying what you’ve been just caught doing.

“Open your legs, Y/N,” he speaks up in a husky, gut wrenching voice and if you weren’t scared for your life (and job), you might have come just from that.

When you don’t move, just stare back at him, he applies the tiniest bit of pressure on your knees to push them apart and your body gives up resistance instantly.

The hunger that flashes through his eyes when he sees that you’ve drenched your panties and shorts good enough to have a visible spot on them, right in front of him now sends a shiver down your spine. And then when he reaches out and runs just one single finger, his middle finger down the seam, you fear your soul has left your body.

“I can leave you and finish on your own, Y/N. Or I can do it for you. Your choice.”

Fuck, your mind feels so heavy and fogged up, you are not in the state to make a decision, let alone one that could have an effect on your life, but it’s like there’s an emergency window has been broken and something else has taken over you, you find yourself speaking up.

“I want you to do it.”

The smirk that spreads across his face twists your inside and you don’t even have time to process it when he climbs over you like a hungry lion and claims your mouth in a deep, demanding kiss that has you seeing stars.

With his mouth still devouring your lips, one of his hands move to grab yours and brings it over to his head.

“If you want to grab onto something, it can only be my hair, understood?” he talks against your mouth and all you can do is nod and let out a whimper. He smirks, so pleased with himself before moving back down and sitting down between your now open legs. He hooks his fingers into your shorts and underwear at the same time and then tugs them down with a swift motion, baring you in front of him, revealing just how much he has turned you on.

“Fuck, baby. Look at you! So wet and ready for me. It’s not the first time I’ve turned you on, right?” His eyes snap up to meet you as he reaches out and runs two of his fingers down your cunt. The touch feels like electricity, your whole body reacts and your knees start shaking.

“No,” you breathe out.

“That’s what I thought,” he chuckles lowly. “Next time, Y/N, you’re coming straight to me. No toying, no touching yourself, I want to be the only one to make you come. Understood?”

You just nod again, but this time he doesn’t take it as an answer.

“I need you to use your pretty voice.”

“Understood,” you manage to speak out, but the word melts into a moan when his fingers start circling on your clit.

“Good girl.”

Fast and graciously, he gets onto his stomach and before you could even appreciate the sight of him between your legs, his mouth latches onto your pussy and it’s game over for you.

You vaguely remember his request to only hold onto his hair and that’s what you do, you grab his chocolate curls with so much force it stings his scalp, but it also sends waves of pleasure down is groin as well while.

It shouldn’t be a surprise to you that he is fucking amazing in it, that Harry Styles can eat pussy like he does it for a living, that his mouth and tongue know exactly what to do to have your eyes roll to the back of your head from the pleasure. It’s scandalous that he is so good at everything and deep down you already know you’ll never find a man who could eat you out like this ever again.

“Harry, of my God!” you groan out, your back arching when you feel his tongue pushing inside you before it’s replaced by his fingers again.

Harry has heard you say his name a million times in every possible way. Or so he thought. Because this lustful, begging, whiny way is a new way and it is easily his favorite now.

He would want nothing more than to have you some on his mouth, but he also want to selfishly eat up your moans as you orgasm, so right before you could reach your peak he pulls back. You’re just about to complain when he moves up your body and his mouth occupies yours, his hand remaining between your legs, two fingers curling inside you just as he kisses you again. You shake and squirm and his fingers are working their magic on you and you realize you should be giving back as well.

With your lips attached to his you manage to reach down and into his pants, Harry tries to protest, only wanting this to be about you but he is too late and when he feels your hand wrap around his cock, giving him a delicious squeeze, the words die down in his throat.

You both are one big mess. Hands between each other’s legs, mouths hungrily colliding, it’s a state that’s almost too much but you also don’t want this to ever end. When you can feel your orgasm threatening to tip over the edge you start to stroke him faster and harder which earns the most beautiful, torturous moan to bubble from his throat.

You come hard and long, gasping for air, his name rolling off your tongue and into his mouth and he swallows it already wanting more. Your hands fall out of rhythm for a bit, but as soon as you’re coming off your high you return to pleasuring him and when you hook a leg over his waist the position ending up with his tip pressing against your pussy he gives you a look that says he is just about to chase after you.

A few more strokes and he is coming over your stomach, spilling his pleasure onto your shirt and the bedsheet as well, but you couldn’t care less. You keep your hands moving until you know he has given you his all and then you both roll to your back and stare up at the ceiling in your post orgasm haze.

You have absolutely no idea how much time passes before Harry pushes himself up from the bed and disappears in the bathroom only to return with a damp towel. Climbing back next to you he gently cleans you up between your legs and also wipes your stomach before leaning down and pressing a soft kiss above your belly button. Throwing the towel beside the bed he moves closer and curls an arm around your waist as he holds himself up on his other arm, looking down at you with bright, gleaming eyes.

“What?” you ask when he just keeps staring at you.

“I know I shouldn’t be talking about work right now, but I need you to do something.”

For a moment you fear that the aftermath of it all will be a disaster and he is bringing up work because he wants this to be just a one time thing and might be already regretting it.

“Okay,” you breathe out with wide eyes, which makes Harry laugh.

“I need you to cancel your rooms for the rest of the tour.”

“What?” Terror flashes through your body for a moment, thinking that he is about to fire you.

“You’re gonna sleep in my room, because I want to do this every night. On repeat. And even more.”

This fucker.

Smacking his chest you groan in relief as he just keeps laughing at your reaction.

“You couldn’t have possibly thought I would kick you out after this. Y/N, what kind of man do you think I am?” he pretends to be hurt.

“An asshole! That’s what you are!”

“But you want this asshole, right? In your bed.” He leans down and kisses you. “Between your legs.” Another kiss. “All the time. Right?”

“Fuck off,” you mumble, but pull his face down anyway, kissing away your frustration with how much you truly want and how cocky he will be about this for probably the longest time ever.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed and buy me a coffee if you want to support me!

[bbytamaki]

more random obey me headcanons >:)

content: sfw headcanons, scars mentioned (from piercings), belphie has depression, all family love <3, not proofread >:((

note: i haven’t done any dateable hcs yet :(( might do some soon

— lucifer can’t stand bananas. it’s just a thing. even the smell will have him pressing his handkerchief over his mouth like a sick victorian man. does satan use this to his advantage? possibly.

— has very feminine hands. he covers them with gloves so he doesn’t have to hear asmo’s jealous whining. if anyone brings it up he’s not above strangling them with his dainty, girlish fingers.

— flexible. like shockingly. it doesn’t really come to light that often but every once in a while lucifer follows single mom yoga videos on the weekends.

— mammon has the prettiest facial features ever. like his eyes and lips look so good in candid photos. his magazine covers are the bane of asmo’s existence.

— bird tendencies. like i mean squawking and jumping like 3 feet in the air when startled. in his demon form he’s just a big parrot. he does the head tilt thing when he’s confused.

— if anyone stands in front of him for longer than a minute he’s picking lint out of their hair and fixing their clothes. his brothers have gotten more than used to his “preening” and either avoid standing around him for too long or just take it. lucifer does this too and sometimes they’ll just stand and fix each other’s clothes for like 5 minutes straight while everyone else is like “???”

— levi is tall. very tall. he’s just so scrawny and lanky and his posture is awful so you wouldn’t even notice until he actually straightens up to his full height. this rarely ever happens unless he’s in his demon form. when it does he is scary.

— cosplays online. his cosplay friends are some of his favorite people. he already sews his own costumes (as we’ve seen), and he’s really good at makeup. one of his future plans is to meet up in the human world to go to a con with his friends.

— screams like a little girl. one time mammon accidentally walked into the bathroom when levi was showering and he shrieked. lucifer ran to see what the commotion was because “how did a human child find their way into the devildom??” levi has never felt more embarrassed.

— satan watches trashy reality tv in his private time. bad girls club, keeping up with the kardashians, you name it.

— can sing the whole periodic table song by tom lehrer forward and backward. i think satan is actual really good at science and it would be his best and favorite subject.

— he just likes animals in general. he has a thing for bunnies after visiting a human world petting zoo.

— asmo has an abnormally long tongue, like surpassing attractive and approaching freakish. he usually keeps it in his mouth but once every so often decides to creep solomon out just for fun.

— has soooo many stripper friends. if you’re wondering how his hair and makeup stay in place the whole day, he learned from the best.

— he definitely designed an entire line of lingerie but only made one of each design. they’re ultra rare collectibles in the devildom and worth more than you could imagine.

— beel can french braid and make friendship bracelets like he’s going to a girl scout camp. nobody can tell me he didn’t hand make the necklaces he wears.

— speaking of martha stewart beel, he can crochet and makes blankets and cute plushies for belphie all the time.

— luke is actually his little brother and no one can convince him otherwise lol they go back and forth over nothing all the time and stop talking to each other until one of them says “what do you want for dinner”

— belphie is the king of doing his own piercings at home because why pay $50 for something he already knows how to do? he ends up taking some of them out before they heal because he gets tired of them and ends up with a bunch of scars on his face and body.

— you and beel are his dream journal. he texts the attic club gc after every nap to tell you guys what his latest dream was about. (you’re the two people that show up in his dreams the most.)

— goes absolutely dormant during depressive episodes. the complete opposite of his twin brother (beel has to keep busy at all times to stay distracted). asmo carries him to his private bathroom and lets belphie pick his favorite soaps and lotions (he likes the ones that smell like sandalwood, they remind him of taking naps in his brothers’ rooms).

[pastelalleycat]

About the Single Pea- after watching the commercial video, I think this section on the cookbook page relates to the video itself, especially the ending:

When Eddie is handed his pea on a plate, he's surrendered his role as mailman to the other neighbors for the day. He's at Wally's homewarming party, but he's the only one without something to do. And when he consequently dissociates and gets a fourth-wall break, he's the only one seeing beyond the curtain of the puppet world. This is a set, with felt and fabric and props. Drawn out with pencils and pens. His world is real, but it's also just a story.

Eddie's being ignored prior to Homewarming was not a freak accident- whoever orchestrated everyone to forget him (Home, possibly?) was trying to make him feel like nobody needed him so they could erase him from the neighborhood and pull him into our reality.

Why would this happen? What could be so egregious with Eddie's character that his existence would be declared unnecessary?

Well, who's always seen alongside Frank, portrayed as his best friend, their shared love for nature playing off each other like a harmony that may be just friendship but may be something even deeper?

How are mailmen and entemologists related, actually? How could they ever be as compatible as flora and fauna? They simply clash too much, it's not natural, it's not right.

(though Julie is often too exuberant for the more mellow Frank, and his seriousness and logic and Eddie's earnestness and love of literature blend together perfectly; also Frank is nonbinary and Julie is genderfluid and they're gay and pan respectfully so no combination of the three is really "straight"; people aren't confined to narrow strands of fate but puppets are subject to their masters)

And yet, someone pulled Eddie back to his side, called him by his first name when they'd only been on last name terms before.

Two peas were placed close together.

(edited to fix a grammatical typo and add extra clarification at the end)

[leog4u]

Game Design and Porn Pt. 1

or, How To Fuck Up The Best Intrinsic Reward Ever

Hi, I'm Leo G, veteran pervert. One time while chatting in a server exclusively made of porn artists, I brought up the game design of a porn game I enjoyed. One of them laughed, saying "Who cares, it's just a porn game?" Being unwell, I never let this go. Since then, I have played many adult games and took each one as serious products made by professionals. Fast forward to today, and the demo for my porn game, Joker's Trip, is nearing completion. I also have some sci-fi erotica you should check out.

So you wanna make a porn game. You heard they make money, and hey what’s more fun than making a video game AND porn? But you don’t know where to begin! Well don’t worry, Leo’s got you covered. We’re gonna walk through the line of thinking you should have when designing your porn game. There's gonna be at least three parts to this, with part 1 focusing on how to reward your player.

Define "porn game" for me, Leo.

There are porn games, and then games with porn in them. A porn game is a game where you won’t last 5 minutes, where everything exists solely to meet and, subsequently, fuck. A game with porn in it is a game where everything exists for the purpose of the game, and also, you fuck. Fate Stay Night, for example, is a VN with a story that just so happens to have some CGs where the protagonist rails Saber, but is mainly about Shirou and the Holy Grail War. Much like how I would call Castlevania a game with horror in it, but not a horror game.

Porn games are a lot like horror games. They both get a bad rap for being cheap to make, appealing to base instincts, and generally being low quality. They're also both not actual genres of games, but genres of content. Think about it, if I asked you what a horror game is, you'd say a game that's scary. But what's the actual game part? The unfortunate answer would most likely be "walking sim," but there are a lot of examples that are FPSes, puzzles, driving sims, platformers, deck builders, the list goes on.

The most common genres of game I see for porn games these days are by far RPG Maker RPGs and VNs. I won’t be talking about VNs because they’re closer to writing than game design, which isn’t a flaw but a feature. What used to be everywhere, in days of old, were breakout games, where the more bricks and levels were cleared, the more of the sexy image would be revealed in the background. Other arcadey type deals like shoot ‘em ups and mahjong were also around, and had a similar “strip ‘em down until you have sex” gameplay loop.

Okay, so what’s an intrinsic reward?

There’s intrinsic rewards, and there're extrinsic rewards. Extrinsic rewards, generally, are the number go up rewards. Things that make your character stronger, or give you more resources to buy new gear or whatever. Intrinsic rewards in games can cover a large swathe of things. It can be the feeling of satisfaction of completing a puzzle, a piece of lore or world building, or a new dialogue option with a character you want to fuck.

I like fucking characters, are we talking about porn now?

Yes! I’m of the opinion that you literally can’t make a better intrinsic reward than pornography. On top of setting the tone for the entirety of the game., at its best it can add to a story, add to someone’s character development, or be a beautiful piece of art to look at. AND you can jack off to it! Unfortunately, that’s at its best. Let’s talk about how porn is delivered in a theoretical RPG porn game. (As a head’s up, there will be talk of “bad end” scenes, but this is under the assumption that the player is the one consenting.)

So you’re playing an RPG and get into a fight. Maybe you were underleveled or too cumbrained to remember to buy healing potions. Then your HP goes to zero, and instead of going back to the title screen, you’re getting fucked by orcs. That’s right, let’s talk about Game Over CGs.

You get to watch porn when you lose?

To someone making a porn game with a battle system, this delivery method makes sense. The characters in this world are driven primarily by lust, this is just the obvious conclusion. And it doesn’t even have to be non-consensual! Games like Future Fragments show that it can be presented as a sexy inconvenience rather than anything uncomfortable for the player or our hero. Game Over CGs even have the benefit of softening the blow of defeat, by giving the player a chance to reflect on their defeat and jerk off. Even better if losing a fight isn’t lost progress, but rather a bump in the road. However, there’s a problem here. The player is a dog, and we’re rewarding bad behavior.

The porn is an intrinsic reward, so why are we giving it to the player for losing? Incentivizing losing on purpose isn’t just bad game design, but a waste of time. And to that end, a lot of porn games try to give solutions to this. One being a kill button on the keyboard or a skill that instantly KOs our hero to get to the lose screen faster. What might seem like a convenience is really just expediting failure.

What it says is that the gameplay doesn’t actually matter. You’re just here for the porn, right? In that case there’s plenty of places I can go to see a chick with huge knockers get railed by an orc, with the added bonus of not having to play forgettable and mid turn based combat!

Another solution I’ve seen is the game outright telling you, “hey don’t bother killing yourself to see the porn. Once you beat the game all of the scenes you missed will be unlocked!” At first this seems like a reasonable way to go about it, but it comes with another problem: your game better be fucking good to make me play through the entire thing before getting to see cock. Like I said earlier, porn at its best can reveal things about the world and drive character development. I uh. Just beat the game. I don’t care anymore. Showing me a scene that’s taken out of context by a factor of 5 hours or more isn’t what I’d call great game design or story telling. It’s also too little, too late.

What if we made the porn actual rewards?

Now we’re getting somewhere! Let’s make the reward…a reward! What if, every time the player beats a level, we get some porn? If we tie the CG to beating the boss, we’ll be tying the reward to game progression. That’s good right? So now, on top of the extrinsic rewards you’d normally get for beating a boss (a lot of EXP, better gear, opened areas) we also get that sweet dopamine rush of pornography! So we’re good, right?

There’s 1142 words left in this post, so I’m assuming no.

Well. It’s a start. It has the problem of predictability. If not handled properly, it comes off as lazy. As a game designer, one of your goals is to not constantly remind your player that they’re playing a video game. Get through the level, get porn. It feels a little too “mouse in a maze looking for cheese” for my taste. And much like the game over method, if the actual game itself is mid, the player will start to question if the reward is worth it, and might be afflicted with the worst condition a player could receive: boredom.

Of course there are exceptions. In puzzle or arcade type games where you don’t get extrinsic rewards, giving the player porn as another form of reward per level or whatever is perfectly reasonable (though it does have the issue of being predictable.) This is a perfectly good way of doing it if your game is short, or if the game is, y’know, good and fun to play. Bad Color’s game, Heroine Conquest, is a level based puzzle game with porn as the reward, but only when you do good. Combining the actual challenge of mastering the game, with a genuinely unique game loop makes for a feeling of accomplishment when beating a level. Pair that up with a sex cutscene, and the dopamine rush will hit.

So! Let’s combine giving the player a power trip, with a less rigid structure for giving the player porn. Instead of tying the porn to purely progression gates, let’s tie it to the progression.

Plot milestones

In Third Crisis, sex scenes are peppered throughout the regular game’s plot, starting with some lesbian bondage before introducing the protagonist, who goes through a tutorial before having their own horny encounters. It’s not just given when you win or lose, but is a natural part of the game. Beating bosses, losing to enemies, and exploring dialogue options in sidequests all lead to unlocking new CGs.

Now what’s nice about that, is that the sex isn’t placed somewhere extremely predictable. It isn’t just a reward for beating The Boss Of Forest Zone, Now Go To Ice Zone And Beat The Ice Boss For More Cock. Because that’s the biggest issue of predictable rewards, you know you’re not getting anything until that checkpoint, which will make the player weigh whether or not it’s even worth continuing. This is fine, again, for an arcade type game, not an RPG or adventure game. By sprinkling sex throughout the plot itself, the player will not only want to progress, but their curiosity will have them wondering “what else is out there?”

Rewarding exploration

By putting sex scenes behind optional side quests or encounters, the dog that is the player will scour every single corner of the map, and leave no pixel unturned. Personally, that’s more exciting to me than what you’ll get in the main progression route. In Future Fragments the player can find their rival Faye in sexual situations if they explore the map enough. These are completely optional, and don’t give any direct rewards like more HP or an item, but they’re by far what motivates me to explore the maps as thoroughly as possible, more so than the plot macguffins the game is named after!

So now the player is excited. Sex can happen anywhere. Maybe that daunting off road path with stronger monsters isn’t just hiding a secret, but a sexy secret! They’ll be more likely to venture down those optional paths you painstakingly made.

If we’re using sex in game overs, boss fights, and just randos, why not put it everywhere?

So now I want to talk about the concept of a “sex stat”. It’s not a bad idea! Say, the higher the player’s sex stat is, the more opportunities you unlock for fucking. It could even be tied to the player character’s personality, and affect the story! Instead of using a sword and shield, they’ll end any conflict with sass and sex. They open their eyes to the horny world around them and stop being a hero, and instead become a succubus, and the ending is a massive cum filled orgy.

That sounds excessive

Yeah, it does, doesn’t it.

I’m not a fan of “corruption” systems in porn games. Corruption as a kink is totally fine, and having it be a part of the story lets you incorporate more sexuality into the plot. But as I alluded to, it snowballs pretty fast (and I’m not talking about spitting in someone’s mouth). It ends up being like a cheat code, where you’re bypassing parts of the game for no cost. It stops being a reward, it stops being unexpected, and it stops it from being sexy.

Wait, what? Stops being sexy? What’s not sexy about a succubus orgy?

Alright, listen, we gotta rein it in for a minute. This isn’t so much about game design as it is about writing erotica, but if you have a world where everyone’s fucking and sucking 24/7, there’s no contrast to make what would normally be a hot taboo a hot taboo. If everybody’s naked, nobody’s naked. The aforementioned snowball effect of a corruption system can be seen if you play literally any game that has one. It won’t take long to not have to engage with any combat or adventuring system if you can just press the “Submit to the big dick warlock” button and watch porn to progress.

Which, now that I said that, is exactly the problem. Imagine any other rpg you’ve ever played. Now imagine if every encounter and dialogue option had an option to just watch a short cutscene to skip the encounter. That would suck ass, right? Literally no difference here.

It would. Hey, I’m sort of lost now.

Don’t worry, we’re wrapping this up.

So what did we learn? We learned game over CGs have a critical design flaw that shouldn’t be relied on. We learned that predictable rewards can lead to boredom. We learned to keep sex as a reward and not devalue it.

To summarize, here’s a neat trick to know where to put your porn scenes.

”Would I put an Xbox Live achievement here?”

It’s that easy. “Lose to Goblins for the first time,” that’s an achievement. “Beat orc commander,” that’s an achievement. “Find Hubert the Magical Dickhead,” that’s an achievement. Using that as a guideline is foolproof. Almost.

This sounds like it’d take a lot of resources

It sure does! But don’t worry. I’ll cover that in the next post talking all about how to deal with the resource management of a porn game.

(Shoutout to Taylor, my guy for editing!)

[ellana-ravenwood]

“Hey Mrs Wayne !” - Fem!Reader x Batfam x Young Justice x JLA

Synopsis : Your children invited their friends over a few times. You met every single kid in the team they call “Young Justice”...but you never ever met their parents/ guardians/mentors. It comes as quite a shock to all the Justice League members when they realize their kids know you well, while they didn’t even know you existed. 

Just a short and silly story. A sort of AU in which the younger superheroes met Batman’s family before their older counterpart hehe. I hope you’ll like it :) :

Please, do not repost my stories ANYWHERE else, under any other form, do not translate and then repost them either. Thank you. 

My masterlist(s) : @ella-ravenwood-archives

__________________________________________________

Bruce was a secretive man. And for a very long time, none of the Justice League members knew about his family. None of them knew he was actually married, and the “Robins” were his kids (although they had suspicions about the latter).

But there came a day when the “secret was out”. 

The main reason Bruce told them who he really was, was as a show of trust. He wanted to prove he trusted them, and he wanted them to trust him. 

It was vital, for the team to work properly. Once they discovered he had contingency plans for each and everyone of them, it was the only solution to gain back their trust. 

Of course, Bruce would never admit openly that he considered many of them his friends, and that it was actually a great relief to finally tell them the truth (after all, he knew since a long time THEIR secret identity...he wasn’t the best detective in the world for nothing). But it was a necessary step. 

Once they knew who he was, it was as if they were finally truly a team. They all trusted each others enough to divulge their real self. 

Funny, when you think about it. Bruce’s paranoia and constant need for “plans” (you did convince him to go see a therapist about that), his great mistrust in others, ended up being what cemented everyone’s relationship.   

Bruce’s distrust lead to everyone trusting one another with their lives. They revealed who they were, as civilians. And Batman did it first. He told them first. 

“Bruce Wayne.” He said, removing his cowl. Revealing one’s real identity was dangerous, for people in their line of work...yet he trusted them. He showed them that his initial wariness had vanished. 

Batman showed them who he really was. And in more than one way, as they all came to realize that, if he was THE Bruce Wayne...Then he had quite a big family ! 

What a shock ! 

And what a greater shock, when they realized their kids knew all about it long before they did. When they realized they knew you well, when they didn't even know you existed !  

Superman

Clark was the first person from Bruce’s “work” who met you. 

Of course, he was. Who else, but Batman’s BEST friend would meet his family first ? Who would the Dark Knight trust more amongst the JLA members, but the one who he first called “friend” ? 

Who else but Clark, could meet you first ? 

It’s not like anyone else had Bruce’s trust or anything. Not like he would let anyone else get close to his family. Come to his home. Meet his wife and kids, unmasked. 

Right ? 

...Right ?

...

RIGHT ?!

Wrong. 

Clark was not the first person to ever meet Batman’s family. Hell. He wasn’t even the second person to do so...or the third...or the fourth...

When he first arrived at Wayne Manor, he had almost a sense of pride. Because he was so sure that he was the first person that Bruce ever allowed in his home. In his personal life (the first superfriend, at least). 

Imagine his surprise, when Bruce introduced him to you, and you were playing video games with your children and...CONNER ?! What the-

Kon was a good friend of Dick, and one of Tim’s best friend.  

And at first, Clark rejected him. 

And it didn’t take more. 

Of course, you’d welcome with open arms a lost “little” kid who didn’t know who he truly was, and who was shunned by someone who could help him out. Of course, Bruce would say “yes” when Dick asked if Conner could sleep over one night the boy felt particularly alone. 

Taking care of lost ducklings was kind of your jam. 

Conner was like a nephew, to you. He would often crash at Wayne Manor. Bruce knew he needed someone there in his life, and he knew that being as powerful as Superman meant he could be dangerous if he didn’t learn how to process his emotions. 

Of course, OF COURSE Conner would be welcomed in your home. Not only was he one of your son’s closest friend, but he was also just a child. You’d never leave him all alone. 

Everyone in the Young Justice league had someone to go see if they needed, except for Conner. 

You became “his confident”, when Clark was still rejecting him. Nowadays of course, their relationship softened. Over the years, they developed a filial relationship, because let’s be honest, the first time Clark met Conner, there wasn’t really much even a chance of a relation. Ah, but the man of steel came around, of course. In part thanks to Bruce. In part because Kon was actually a good kid. 

But before that, who was there to guide Conner ? 

You and Bruce. 

You especially, gave him the motherly care he obviously never knew. Martha and Lois would gladly accept this role later on, but at the beginning, you were there. 

He wasn’t always home of course, and you never adopted him because you and Bruce both knew he belonged with the Kents. But it didn’t mean that Conner didn’t hung a LOT in your home. 

And so when Clark first came, thinking he was the first to get in the intimacy of Batman’s house, and he saw him playing video game with Bruce’s wife (whom he didn’t even know existed)...it was a shock, to say the least. 

Even more so when he realized Kon seemed very close to you. 

He clearly knew you, called you by your first name and everything ! What ?! But Batman was HIS best friend, so he should know his wife first ! 

You and Clark became friends quickly, it was so easy, to become friend with him. He was most definitely the “golden retriever” type of the group, and easy to approach (unlike a certain husband). 

And although Superman would never admit it, he had been particularly friendly to you (risking Bruce’s infamous bout of jealousy) and such, because he wanted to “catch on” on Conner’s “advance”. There was no way the boy could know his best friend’s family more than him. No way, nuh-hu. Clark didn’t make so many efforts for Batman to finally accept him, only to realize that someone else got to know him better ! 

Do you know how long it took the mighty Superman to finally break down Bruce’s defenses ? To finally reach him, and become friends ? How many times he got rejected, before he finally managed to come to Wayne Manor ? 

And what, Conner had been here the entire time ? Oh, and the boy looked at him that day, as if to say : “Yeah. Hurts to feel left out, right ?!”, which fueled Clark’s need to be loved by everyone even more (and put a lot of things into perspective..;after all, it’s seeing Conner so well integrated in your family that made him realize he had to be there for the boy). 

It wasn’t fair. Clark didn’t even know you existed ! Aaaaaah. 

Yes. It was honestly quite upsetting. To this day, Clark was still a little vexed. 

Kon always saw it as a great sort of “revenge” on the man who, at first, rejected him so adamantly. On the man who wanted nothing to do with him. 

Over the years though, this little fact became a source of “competition” between the Kent boys. Later on, Clark’s youngest son, Jon, would be over at your house WAY too often. It’s funny, because you’d say yourself that Damian was spending too much time at the Kent’s house. 

Your boys were best friends, of course. Ah, but it was a bit of a competition, between Clark and his kids, to know who knew the Waynes the best...

It never ceased to amuse you. 

WONDER WOMAN

Diana often made a distinction, in her head, between the Batman she met at the beginning of the Justice League, and the Batman he slowly became. 

When she first met him, when he first approached her about that JLA idea, it was clear the man had been alone for a long time. That he wasn’t used to work as a team. Or rather, that he was used to people listening to him. To people doing what he said. That he was used to work alone, and to not rely on anyone else. To not trust anyone else. To not let anyone else into his heart. 

That Batman was cold, sad, distant, and honestly kind of an ass. 

Over those first few years though, Diana noticed a difference. He became a little more open. A little easier to deal with. 

Years later, Diana would learn that you met him a little while after the league was created. That you met him at his worst, and somehow still decided to stick with him, and even marry him. That when you appeared in his life, it been a very long time since he last truly trusted someone (someone who wasn’t Alfred). 

Of course, it took him time to open up a bit more. But she did notice a difference. In her opinion, there was definitely two different Batman. 

The one before you, and the one after you. 

Let’s not be too optimistic, she still thought that Bruce could be an ass, and he was often arrogant and inconsiderate. But she still saw a slight switch in him. An improvement. 

Haha. Of course the source of his improvement was a woman. As a proud amazon, Diana wasn’t surprised. 

What surprised her, however, was that her little proteges, Donna and Cassie...knew all about you. 

How come did they never tell her anything ? 

“Mrs. Wayne asked us not to.” 

Was their answer. And when Diana met you, she understood. Yes. Yes there was something about you. Something that made her believe that you were the one who helped Bruce get away from his dark path, and onto a brighter future. Something that made her trust, that you took good care of Donna and Cassie. Something that made her like you instantly. 

What was it ? 

She wasn’t sure. Maybe it was how you so easily got along with her proteges ? How they seemed to fully trust you ? Maybe it was something in your voice, that she found soothing. Maybe it was the fact that you managed to tame the bat ? 

Diana would never quite know for sure. But she always suspected the fact that both Wonder Girls seemed to adore you played a part in how fast you two became friends. 

She was the only one who was not bothered in the least to meet you after the kids did. On the contrary, it felt right, to meet you and befriend you AFTER those two accepted you. Yes. Yes. 

It felt right. 

FLASH

What the fuck. What the fuck. WHAT THE FUCK ?!

Those words kept repeating in Barry’s head as he saw his “little” nephew, Wally, run around Batman’s kitchen as if he owned the place.  

Indeed, Wally just casually trudged to the fridge, got a soda out of it, and then took a piece of the cake that was on the table, without even asking. He got a plate from a cabinet...He knew were the plates were ! 

And no one batted an eye ! Not even scary old Batman, who certainly couldn’t approve of such behavior, right ?! 

What the hell was going ooooon ??  

“Hey Mrs. Wayne !” 

Wally exclaimed happily when he saw you. And then he-

He-

He hugged you ????  

WHAAAAAT ?! 

“Hi there Wally, it’s been a while. You’ve been behaving, I hope.”

“Always, you know me Mrs W.”

You knew him ?? Yeah ok. That was it. Barry was completely lost. 

Only a few weeks earlier, did he learn that Batman’s true identity was Bruce Wayne. Of course, he knew the man. Everyone in the USA knew him. And his wife and kids. So when he was invited to Wayne Manor, he knew what to expect. 

He knew you’d be there, as well as the kids he already knew (although masked). He never met you before, but he knew about you. And recognized you. 

He thought he’d make his favorite nephew happy by bringing him with him. He thought he had such a scoop, that Wally wouldn’t believe his eyes when he’d realize who Bruce Wayne really was. 

And here they were. 

Barry, completely lost, and Wally, apparently knowing you and all ?? 

Ah. Ah, now it made more sense. 

This is why Batman almost cracked a smile when he asked him if he could bring his nephew, because Wally was good friends with Robin number 1 and 2 (Barry couldn’t believe they all grew up so fast, he refused to call Dick “Nightwing”, or Jason “Red Hood”, and kept acting as if they were still 13). 

He thought he was going to make “Kid Flash” happy. He thought he would blow his mind. 

AH ! And here they were. Barry was faced with all of you, and you clearly found the situation funny as you all smiled. Even Bruce, wasn’t far from a smile, and had a crooked smirk on his face, clearly amused (it was a little sadistic of him, really). 

It didn’t take long to Barry to make 2 and 2 together. He realized that, quite a long time ago now, the kids told each other’s secrets identity. That they trusted each other, and bonded faster than their adult “counterpart”. 

A surprising thing that Barry realized too, and that he kept somewhere in his mind just in case he needed some leverage : Batman couldn’t say “no” to his kids. That’s how the entire superkids army ended up at Wayne Manor before the “adults”. Because Dick asked if his friends could come over, and Bruce didn’t have the heart to say “no”. 

That’s how all of them knew you. That’s how- aaah. 

Wally looked at his uncle, and smiled widely, saying : 

“Haha. For once, I was faster than you !”

MARTIAN MANHUNTER

M’gann has never been good at hiding things from her uncle. 

It’s not that he would willingly read her mind, it’s just that sometimes, her thoughts just...spilled out of her. She couldn’t help it. When there was something preoccupying her, she thought about it so much that J’onn would just always know about it. 

That’s one of the reasons her friends never really told her secrets they wanted to keep from the adults, when they knew J’onn would be around. 

Yes. M’gann's “poker brain” was horrible. And yet-

Yet she managed to keep for herself the fact that she was invited to multiple sleepover at Wayne Manor, and that her friends Tim and Dick, who happened the be Robins at one point, were Bruce Wayne’s sons (THE Batman). 

It hadn’t always been easy, but she made it. And one of the reason, was because she really, really, REALLY liked Batman’s wife.

You. 

You were so nice, and motherly. You treated all of those kids as if they were yours, when they came to visit. 

If you knew M’gann was going to come around, there would be freshly baked cupcakes in the kitchen. Her favorites, of course. 

M’gann felt a deep need to protect you. 

All of the kids, felt that. Actually, unbeknownst to you and every other adults, the children made a pact when they all first met you : They were to make sure no harm would happen to you. 

Their reasoning was : first, you were the mom of some of their best friends, so, duh. But second, without you, clearly, Batman would crumble. And Batman was one of the backbone of the JLA. If he fell, they could all fall. Yes, a secret pact was made. “Protect Mrs. Wayne.” 

Plus, you always welcomed them into your home with opened arms, you were warm and nice, and your cupcakes were the best. All the more reasons, right ? 

J’onn knew you held a special place in those children’s heart, when he first met you, realized that M’gann knew you all this time, and yet she never once let shown. She never once let her thoughts about you show, while she’s never been good at hiding things. 

Martian Manhunter knew, that you were special, thank to those kids. Thanks to them knowing you before he, or any JLA members, did.

Besides, you had to be special to bear to live with someone like Batman, right ?

AQUAMAN

“Hey Kaldy !” 

You say happily, seeing the young man coming up the stairs of your home. 

“Hello, Mrs. Wayne. How goes it ?”

“Pretty well, and yourself, young man ?”

“Good, as well.” 

There’s a short silence. During which Arthur Curry, aka Aquaman, king of Atlantis, looks at his protege, and then at the woman next to Bruce (whom he knew now was Batman), and then back at his protege, and then-

“...Kaldy ??” 

He exclaims suddenly, in utter disbelief. How ? How could Kaldur know who you were when he himself didn’t even know you existed just a few weeks earlier ? How, and why ?? 

And did you call him Kaldy ? Kaldur disliked nicknames, how come you were allowed to call him Kaldy ?? 

You saw the confusion on Arthur’s face, but you misunderstood it. You thought he was surprised to hear you call him a nickname (because you knew the boy and his distastes for such thing well), but it wasn’t just because of this. Aquaman was especially surprised that his loyal subject and protege knew Batman’s wife, while he didn’t !! You said : 

“Oh yes, Kaldy, because Kal was taken. It’s Clark’s birth name, and honestly it gets too confusing when two people are called the same. Although it was funny to just say “Kal”, watch both of them turn around, and wonder to whom I was talking haha...MMmmm. I guess I have a bad sense of humor.” 

You laugh to yourself, and he cannot believe that your his wife. Yes he sees how softly Bruce looks at you (even if once he noticed Arthur was looking at him himself, he started to were a stoic expression, schooling his face properly once again). 

He cannot believe Kaldur knows you, when he didn’t even know you existed, yet clearly the boy is well familiarized with you. 

“You- You came here before, Kaldur’ahm ?” 

Aqualad is clearly a bit embarrassed, as he says : 

“I am sorry, my king. But I promised Mrs. Wayne I wouldn’t say anything, she said if I did, Batman would get...cranky.”

Bruce turns his head towards you, his eyes narrowing as if to say : “I can’t believe you said that”, your smile which meant : “please, you know it’s true” only made him narrow his eyes further...

And on that note- 

Arthur starts to burst out laughing. 

The situation was so absurd. What. He didn’t know his friend of many years was married, but Kaldur did ? And the reason why the boy never mentioned her was because Batman would “get cranky” ?? 

Hilarious. Absolutely hilarious. 

Soon, you all laughed together, and the rest was history. 

Yes, Kaldur had been coming to Wayne Manor for a long time now, and so what ? He was close friends with Batman’s kids. That was enough of an explanation. 

After all, it was the “adults” fault that they didn’t trust each other as fast as the kids did, right ? 

GREEN ARROW (with guest appearance from Black Canary)

Roy had been a long time friend of Jason. And you held the boy dearly inside your heart, because you knew he helped your son tremendously. 

Both Roy and Jay knew the pain of feeling abandoned, and left for dead. 

It was only natural, for Roy to be an “extended member of the family”. He was genuinely like a nephew, to you. You were never surprised to see him in your kitchen, unannounced, devouring a cake or something. 

“Sup Mrs. Wayne”, he’d say, giving you a high five, your son Jason never being too far. 

Roy was always welcomed. In fact, he was much more welcomed than Oliver will ever be. One thing your husband LOVED doing : annoy the crap out of other billionaires. Especially when they were arrogant like Oliver Queen (the irony of that statement never fully reaching your husband’s brain...)

Too bad for Green arrow, eh ? 

It was one of Bruce’s favorite past time, oops. And so when Oliver first came to Wayne Manor, accompanied by Dinah, and he realized that Roy was there while the boy was currently filtering his calls...the archer was shook. 

No but for real. Here was Roy, sitting at the kitchen table, eating a home cooked meal, relaxed in his chair, clearly alive and well...all the while Oliver had been worried sick ! He would never admit it of course, but he was ! 

But clearly, “Speedy” (now Arsenal) was all good.  

You had invited Green Arrow for dinner (Bruce didn’t want to invite him, mainly just to piss him off because he had invited everyone else already), and oh, Roy and your husband had way too much fun taunting him. 

And what the hell, although Roy had eaten two full plates already, he asked for a third one when he saw that Oliver was going to ask if there was any food left. You served the boy, of course, and Bruce insisted for him to finish the dish (just so Oliver couldn’t have more). 

You dotted over Roy so much, that Oliver felt almost hurt. Beyond the fact Bruce and the boy obviously were trying to annoy him, Oliver realized how many years he lost. How far from Roy he was, now. 

Seeing how close you all were, He realized...

This needed to change. And it would. 

************

“I trained a lot here.” Artemis said matter of factly, when Oliver asked her how come she knew about Wayne Manor before he did. 

“...I beg you pardon ?” He said, a little offended. Why wouldn’t she train at his place ?? 

“They have an insane gym, and in the cave they have one of them “danger room”. Like in the X-Men. So we often met here to train together. Sometimes because it’s honestly closer to come to Gotham than the YJ headquarter’s. But mainly because Dick is a BIG Mama’s boy.” 

Artemis snickered, looking at your oldest son. And, it was true. The reason the Young Justice sometimes came to train in the Batcave rather than at their headquarters, was because Dick was easily homesick (those short years during which he didn’t talk to Bruce anymore, and was away with the Titans, were tough for him). 

And so what ? He lost his family once, could anyone blame him that he was so traumatized he easily missed his mom ? Nope. No one. 

Doesn’t mean they never teased him though. 

“As my little brother Damian would say : it’s hardly something I’m ashamed of, good ol’ Artemis.” 

They laugh together, and you shake your head. You turn to Oliver to tell him that-

Wait, was he pouting ? Oh. Oh he definitely was ! And why, exactly ? 

Because Artemis, whom he took care of, whom he took under his wing...KNew you before he did, and liked Bruce’s gym better than his. 

Fair enough. 

DICK 

It was Dick, who first convinced his dad to let his friends come over. 

“Absolutely not” he said, at first. But then Dick did his infamous puppy eyes. The little fucker always managed to get some unshed tears in them, always managed to look utterly sad even when it wasn’t really the case. 

Your little buddy even went as far as saying : “I just- I just wanted to feel normal” in a broken voice, lowering his head as he left the room (pure acting, of course).

Bruce stood no chance. Alfred and you gave him that look that meant : “Don’t be so heartless !”, and Dick pulled at his heartstring by acting as if he was truly hurt by his refusal. 

No chance at all, all Batman that he was. 

He couldn’t resist his son already, so when even his wife was pleading with him...”Fine. But we need to set up some rules !” 

1. None of them could say who he really was to anyone.  2. No Sleepover  Fine, no sleepover exceeding 3 nights ! 3. The Batcave is strictly forbidden (added later : except for training sessions) 4. No mess.  5. Keep. The. Whole. Thing. SECRET. 

And that’s how your house welcomed a bunch of little superkids (and how lots of shenanigans ensued...but that, is another story). 

JASON 

Bruce never regretted saying “yes” to Dick all those years before, about bringing friends over. 

Not only did it also made Jason feel like a normal kid inviting his buddies at his place, but after his death and resurrection...his friends truly saved him. 

It’s them, who managed to convince him to speak to his parents again. Who brought him home again. Yes. Yes this was something Bruce knew he would never regret. 

Saying “yes” to his son’s request, all those years ago, and welcoming into his private home a bunch of kids with famous parents/guardians/mentors, had been one of his best idea. Because there was no doubt in his mind, that the fact those children knew you and him since so long, saved his son. 

TIM

Tim, at first, had difficulty to connect with others. 

It’s thanks to being part of a team, and them being allowed in his home, that he developed his social skills more. 

After all, the boy had been left alone for so long. Had the attention of no one for so long. Of course, it took him a bit of time to get acclimated to having a real family, and even friends ! 

Tim organized the best movie marathons, and once a month, your living room would be invaded by a bunch of teens who would steal every single snack in your house. 

Ah, but it was worst it. It was worst it, if only to see your son so happy, and not alone anymore. 

DUKE

Duke was never part of any Young Justice or Teen Titans team...It was before his time. All those “kids” and “teens” were adults now, for the most part. Or his age, but already playing in the big league. 

Sometimes, he felt inadequate. And behind. But then you’d reassure him. Of course he couldn’t quite be on the same level they were yet, he just started his “career” as a vigilante ! 

You encouraged him to mingle with his siblings’ friends, and he did. Duke was a pretty social lad. It didn’t take him much time, to bond with everyone. Especially since they had one subject they were sure to agree on : how great you were. 

Ah yes. Of course. You were often the subject of many conversation, because honestly, how many people would let that many lost kids in their home like that ? 

CASS

Cass, just like Duke, had never been in a team. 

Which made her feel left out, at first...

But oh, this was without counting on her brothers. Those boys would NEVER make their sister feel alone. Feel like she wasn’t a part of their lives, in every way. 

Dick introduced his friends to her very quickly. Jason and Tim did too. And of course Damian. 

They all bragged so much about her (especially Damian), they all put her on such a high pedestal, that it made all her insecurities and sadness about not fitting in go away. 

So what if she wasn’t part of any team (yet) ? She was part of a family, and that was enough. Plus, even though all her brothers’ friends got along really well with you, she knew you’d always choose them over anyone else if you had to make a choice. And honestly for now, she’d settle with “just” a family. 

It had already been so hard, to manage to open up and accept your love. She didn’t think she was quite ready for “friends” yet. But she will be. She knew she’d be, one day. 

For now, family was enough. 

DAMIAN

Your little one would never admit it, but he was sometimes so jealous. 

Some of those Young Justice kids...Were not kids anymore. And had been coming around your house for nearly decades. 

When the first Young Justice team was made, Dick was 13. Barely older than Damian was now. His friends met you before he did...

That’s what upset Damian, sometimes. Knowing that they grew up with you more than he did. Knowing that they knew you before everyone else, even before the JLA !! 

It wasn’t fair. How come they got to spend so many years with you, so much time with you, when he didn’t ?  

Yes. Damian was often jealous of how well the Young Justice, and Teen Titans kids knew you. 

Clark and him actually bonded greatly over that, to your husband’s exasperation. You thought it was funny. And cute. And definitely reminded your husband that “jealousy was probably a hereditary trait”, which always vexed him. 

Oh. And you made sure that your son knew you loved him so much, that there really were no reason to feel jealous.. 

EVERYONE 

Little by little, everyone came to Wayne Manor at one point. 

They all slowly met Batman’s family. Secret identities didn’t exist for them anymore. Annual barbecue was a thing (which mainly happened at Wayne Manor, because Bruce was the only one who had a backyard big enough, and remote enough, to invite all the most powerful superhero on the planet, without anyone even noticing).

They realized Bruce was just a man (and not a vampire, thank you very much mister Jordan). 

A family man. 

A few years back, it would’ve never crossed any of their mind to think that. What ? Batman ? With a family ? Right...

And yet. Yet it was the truth. 

Yes. They slowly got accustomed to that fact. But there was one thing they’d never get used to : it was how their kids, their wards, nephews or nieces, their sidekicks, the children they decided to mentor...Knew all along. 

Long before they did. 

It was quite an adjustment, to realize Batman had a wife, and to see their kids know everything about her already. 

You admit that, if the roles were reversed, you’d probably be very surprised. Especially since you knew all about them, thanks to their children. 

But in a way, it made sense, didn’t it ? It made sense, that those kids knew you before the adults did. That they hung out at Wayne Manor a lot, given the fact it was the biggest house at disposal, and they were great friends with your children. 

Yes. It just made sense, that you got to meet the kid first. Because of your own kids. Of course. 

And it made you so happy, to see all of them grow to be such fine and decent people. 

When you thought about that time, all those years ago, when they first started to know you, you often felt a bit nostalgic. 

Ah, but years passed, but the friendships and love you all shared never faded. 

__________________________________________________

Hahahaha so here we are, in an “AU” in which the superkids met Batmom before anyone else :). I hope you enjoyed this story. Trying really hard not to be too self-deprecating right now so not adding more haha. As per usual, comments and reblog are highly appreciated and encouraging/motivating :) ! Thank you for reading !

[kaisfruit]

Hi! how's your day going?

I'd like to request the ninja from Ninjago and an older sibling reader if that alright? You know just cute fluffy days with siblings.

Ninjago Older Sibling!Reader Headcanons <3

A/N; Ahhh hi!!! my day is good ty <3 tysm for this ask this is so cute 🥺🥺 i hope u dont mind hcs, but if u do feel free to ask again and i'll gladly make smthn longer :] jus thought hcs fit the vibe

warnings; none! just fluff <3

Kai and Nya

Absolutely the most chaotic sibling trio

Nya constantly getting upset with you and Kai for playing the "i'm the older sibling" card

Nya: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU GUYS DIDN'T SAVE A PIECE FOR ME?

You and Kai: older siblings get cake first that's just the rule. sorry <33

But Kai gets just as upset as she does when you do it to him

You guys all love each other though so it's okay

Just the vibes of being their older sibling would be the most competitive basic sibling rivalry type stuff yk

Lloyd

Constantly doting over him

You might as well be his parental figure since MISAKO AND GARMADON WERE THE WORSTTTTT

You and Kai take turns mother henning him

You and Kai are bffs btw like. I don't make the rules. Kai is just his adoptive older brother in my head, so you two bond over caring for Lloyd

Definitely his comfort person after a long day <3

You're the one Lloyd trusts the most in his life and he isn't scared to tell you his fears because, despite any assumed sibling teasing, he knows you'll take him seriously on that regard

Jay

You guys make annoying each other a full time job

Constantly fighting over who the favorite is

Y/N: At least I help out at the junkyard!!

Jay: I'm literally out saving the world everyday!!!

*aggressive slap fight ensues*

OMG no. he's definitely the younger sibling to pull the rapid fire kick tactic

His elemental abilities go out the window when y'all fight. Just straight up, falls on his back and starts kicking up at you

All fun n games until you're able to catch one of his legs

You totally embarrass him as much as you can in front of Nya too

As Jay's older sibling, you're legally obligated to be Cole's bestie since Cole is Jay's bestie. you guys lovingly torment the lightning user together <33

Cole

The most chill sibling duo to ever exist

you both didn't appreciate Lou's insistence of the singing and dancing shit so y'all just decided to be ride or dies for life

much like cole, you get along so well with the rest of the ninja

idrk what to say here

nvm i do

You guys play video games with each other and you are infinitely salty at the fact that your younger brother is better than you at most video games

like wtf? isn't it supposed to be a god given right for all older siblings to be better at video games???? the FSM screwed you!!!

but you've never let him live down the one time he lost to you at super smash bros

you have refused to play with him since

Zane

See, idk if you'd be his ACTUAL sibling yk since he's a robot? maybe more like you were supposed to be a protege to dr. julien, but decided to just be a 4 lyfer with zane after his passing

you've helped zane understand human culture so much and he's real appreciative of your existence

the ninja absolutely fucking ADORE when you're around because what's better than one zane? TWO ZANES !!!

well, obviously you're your own person but! i could see zane adopting a lot of your mannerisms so you two end up being very similar

quality time is y'alls bread and butter

working around each other perfectly as y'all both cook in the kitchen

words never need to be shared between the two of you. just hanging around the other is enough yk? like y'all are bonding just by existing near each other and it is magical

ANOTHER A/N; i tried my best to highlight reader being the older sibling but </3 idk if i did it that well. i saw "sibling fluff" and RAN!! im willing to do a pt 2 or like a one shot or anything with a prompt similar to this !! im the youngest sibling myself tho so idk if i can properly portray being an older sibling (only in a mean light. yk like greg heffley and rodrick. do NOT recommend having older siblings y'all /j)

[stylespresleyhearted]

CCG - LUCI’S 3RD BIRTHDAY

In honor of the great @blainesebastian ‘s birthday here’s a little instagram compilation I’ve conjured up for our adored CCG nation <3 Austin, CCG, and Luci we miss and love ya’ll forever and Mccall you are a brilliant mind whom I will adore until the end of time! Have the bestest birthday ever, you deserve nothing less!

—————-

liked by coffee.girl, salmahayek, and 20,342 others

enews And the Best Dad Award goes to ….! In honor Austin Butler and Y/N’s little girl turning three today let’s take a look back at our favorite moments of Austin Butler being the best dad ❤️ link in bio for full video of second slide.

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austinfan18 video of luci running into austin’s arm after two weeks apart you will always be famous!

butlerishh him throwing her in the air LMAO LUCI WAS NOT HAVING FUN

ccgfan HA fr luci was looking at her mom to save her

iloveaustin Can we talk about how proud his mom would be about what a great parent he is?

sharonbleu Austin even has Salma Hayek up in the likes 😉

liked by austinbutler, priscillapresley, and 872, 196 others

coffee.girl Celebrating Luci day should be every day tbh. 🦖💕👁️🐠🪷🌸☃️🥞 @austinbutler and I can’t believe we created this wonderful being, she had to have come from a lab of perfection.

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ashleytisdale Luci told me she’s from Pluto and I believe her. It’s the only logical explanation.

austinbutler Nice use of all of Luci’s favorite emoji’s, she’s going to be so proud. ❤️

jillian.mua The best thing you and Austin ever did and will ever do is have sex three years ago to give the world the best human to walk the Earth

coffee.girl JILLIAN!

ashleybee I’m disgusted but I get what she means

austinbutler Babe close your comment section please

chrisevans Happy bday to the one who is gonna prove aliens exist!

liked by austinbutler, bazluhrmann, and 20,807 others

people Luci Butler turns three today so we must not forget to credit her mother (and best friend) in a world where it seems moms get no recognition for being superhuman.

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user12 imagine using a 3 year olds bday to make some political womens movement statement. mom’s get plenty of recognition.

butlerfamupdates I actually applaud People Magazine for this. All day magazine’s have posted Austin’s cutest moments with Luci and talked about what a wonderful Dad he is - which no one would ever doubt to think he is - but Luci’s mom is very much present as well and deserves love too. Luci loves both her parents. It’s normal for a kid to have favorites, it doesn’t make the other parent ‘bad.’

ccgfan Y/N and Luci sharing their love for open water together and creating sea shell necklaces i cry

ccgfan1 You just know she’s the most supportive and loving mother! Austin and Luci are so lucky to have her!

liked by coffee.girl, austinbutler, and 341, 289 others

ashleytisdale happy birthday to Jupiter’s bestest friend in the whole wide world! We are so lucky to have you in our life Luci ❤️🦖✨

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coffee.girl the cutest besties 👯 🤣

fan23 ashley and aus are bffs now their daughters are too 😭

austinluv STOP my heart can’t take it

liked by ashleybee, ccgfan, and 34, 567 others

butlerfamupdates a cute little insight into Luci’s “THREE-REX” bday party! Posts and reposts from @austinbutler and @coffee.girl IG stories

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sugartreats Thank you for choosing us for her cakes and treats! The sweetest, most beautiful family 🙌🏼 #happybirthdayluci

fan34 so luc is like obsessed w dinos huh 🤔

fan33 austin literally calls her lil dino

fan45 u just know it was luci’s idea to put a tutu on the scary t rex LMAO

sugarcakes Oh it was! Her parents brought her in and Miss Luci was very specific with what she wanted haha

liked by ashleytisdale, oliviadejonge, and others

jillian.mua Happy birthday cool girl 🥳 I love you

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austinbutler vibin’

ashleybee oh gosh i wanna kiss those cheeks

oliviadejonge i wanna be her when i grow up ✨🥳

coffee.girl @austinbutler trendsetter 😂❤️

liked by austin12 and others

austinbnews via Austin’s IG story for Luci’s birthday! Happy birthday sweet Luci 🎂 ♥️

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austinfan23 she’s taking after her parents with her love of books 🥹

ccgfan yes Y/N and Austin built Luci her personal little library 😭

butlerupdates Austin taking a picture of Luci taking a picture of Y/N — ICONIC

liked by ashleebee, coffee.girl, and 1,235,096 others

austinbutler happy birthday lil dino ♥️

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coffee.girl … and she’s out for the count

jillian.mua @coffee.girl she had a busy day bossing everyone around

ashleytisdale @austinbutler please tell me you at least wiped the cake frosting off her face

austinbutler @ashleytisdale I’m not dealing with that tantrum when she wakes up

coffee.girl @austinbutler neither am I smart move

ashleybee I LOVE HERRRR

LMAOOOO MCCALL WHAT WOULD YOU DO IF I TOLD YOU I WAS ALREADY WORKING ON THIS BEFORE YOU TEXTED ME TODAY ASKING ABOUT LUCI ?!???? OUR BRAINSSS INTERCONNECTED 🙌🏼❤️❤️❤️❤️ happy birthday mccall love you and your little universe and luci and ccg so much you’re awesome

[azumasoroshi]

happy 12/24-25! i think too often about the “gege hates gojo” jokes because holy shit it is PERSONAL with gege

like yeah he sealed him and killed him but like. every aspect of gojo’s character is just so. gege really said “i’m going to make you the strongest character in the history of ever and you’re going to be cool and attractive and funny and your fans will love you, BUT:

The entire point of your character is that no matter how much power you have, you are helpless to save the people you truly care about

You’re so powerful that the only way you can narratively exist without destroying every enemy in jjk other than Sukuna is to get snatched away, sealed, get your powers taken away, or die (even in the fucking video game you only get a certain number of turns to act before you get yoinked)

You can never escape the system you were born into because your power has become your character

You’ll think you’re changing the system for the better but end up perpetuating the system anyway in allowing children to go on dangerous missions

You cannot supervise said children on dangerous missions because you’re running around Japan like a headless chicken at the whims of the higher ups

You never got the chance to fully grow up because a part of you died when Toji killed you and a part of you died when Suguru left you and what else is there left

Your own desire for power blinded you to your best friend’s depression and it’s one of your greatest regrets yet a part of you still thinks Suguru wasn’t strong enough to keep up which is why you keep saying you want strong allies who can keep up with you and you are just terribly equipped to handle your students’ emotional challenges and insecurities even though you try your best

You will never make any emotional connections as lovely as the one from your youth which you still cry about on the rare occasions you actually sleep

You will only be able to tell Suguru you love him right before you KILL HIM

No matter whether Suguru was your best friend, ex-boyfriend, crush that you never confessed to, or boy you only realized you were in love with after he left you, you will NEVER be able to get over him and an evil brain will use this against you and several people you care about will get fucked over because you cared too much

Even though your students/coworkers sometimes like you the first thing 99% of them think of when they think of you is “The Strongest�� and even in your breakup arc Suguru, the one person you wanted to stand by your side and share the title, began to think of you in that way as well and distanced himself from you because of it.

The narrative requires that you be lonely at the top as a direct consequence of your power - even metaphorically, infinity separates you from the rest of the world and your wide range of destruction makes it so allies are a hindrance in battle and you could destroy the people you dare about in seconds (see: thank fuck todo stopped yuuji from stepping into range of purple)

You are going to fight the boy you may or may not have raised from childhood because of the other boy with Sukuna inside him that he asked you to save and you can’t hesitate because the last time you hesitated about someone you cared about you got sealed and people died

You may or may not have died to the strongest curse of all time and are left forever unsatisfied even in death because not only was your culty/cunty best friend not there to cheer you on, but you think Sukuna couldn’t even go all out against you, the strongest sorcerer of your time, despite strength being your whole thing

and as a bonus, you also “died” after cockily saying “Nah I’d win” which will get extensively memed on the internet at your expense”

like not to woobify gojo or anything but oh my god jesus fucking christ gege

he was like “ill make you hot as a treat mostly for myself because i like drawing hot men but you’re going to be so incredibly fucking doomed by the narrative in every possible way”

like he loves drawing shirtless men but he never drew gojo shirtless like gege!! GEGE!!!! what did he DO to deserve this level of narrative ire omfg

[eightyonekilograms]

I went to the Apple Store yesterday to try the scripted demo of their VR headset. My overall impression is that it's the best possible execution of what might be a fundamentally flawed idea.

The passthrough video is pretty incredible. It's somewhat dimmer than reality, and the color accuracy is just OK, but it's more than good enough to feel like you're looking through clear displays at the real world. I'm told the passthrough on the Quest 3 is even better, but haven't tried that and can't comment. One thing is that there is a weird motion blur effect when you turn your head, I'm not sure if that's a display tech limitation or introduced deliberately by the software as a workaround for a different display tech limitation.

The resolution is 4K per eye, which, as mentioned, is more than enough for a powerful sense of presence in the real world. One of the nifty bits of the demo was when you turn the dial to tune out the world and suddenly you're sitting by a mountain lake, and the feeling of actually being there is overwhelming. The dystopian implications of needing a VR headset to sit at a mountain lake aside, it would be cool to have one just to have your office be anywhere you can imagine. Not $3500-before-tax cool, but cool.

Wow sports leagues are going to love this thing. I don't give a shit about sports and even I was thinking, "If the NBA put a stereoscopic camera courtside and sold you games for $50 a pop, I'd absolutely buy that"

But 4K per eye is not enough to do work, not even close. The experience of using normal computer-y applications on this was not unlike plugging your laptop in to a TV that's at the normal TV distance. You can do it, it works, but it's not anyone's preferred way of working. Text is amazingly legible, but only at sizes that are equivalent to having a single webpage take up your entire 4K monitor at normal monitor distance.

It is not particularly comfortable. Part of this might be that the store demo makes you use the "catcher's mitt" strap, which only goes around the back of your head and so gravity has to be countered only by the pressure of the thing against your face. Reviewers have said that if you use the other band that goes over your head the situation is better, but still.

A lot of early comments were making fun of Apple for having the battery be an external thing you put in your pocket and attach with a wire, but I think that's just fine: we all walk around with giant batteries in our pockets anyway, and anything you can do to have less weight on your head is a Good Thing. But then Apple took all those weight savings and spent them on making the stupid thing out of metal and glass instead of polycarbonate. It's nuts! It's like if you made a car that was 500kg lighter because you invented magical tech for keeping the engine somewhere else, and then went "great! with all the weight savings now we can build the body out of lead". Apple, you don't need to fear plastic. Plastic is good! Plastic built modern civilization.

You control it with a combination of eye tracking and pinch gestures. This is the main piece of evidence of my "best version of a bad idea" thesis: it works really, really well; so well that I can tell this is probably an evolutionary dead end. It's just fine— miraculous, even— for dragging windows around and doing the basic stuff the in-store demo has you do. It's amazing that you can more or less have your hands anywhere, including on your lap, and the recognition works perfectly (by contrast with the HoloLens I tried 5 or so years ago where the gesture recognition was total crap). But it's immediately obvious that you can never do serious manipulation of your computing environment with this.

The takeaway is that it's incredible for passive consumption of specifically-made media, assuming that ever exists at scale. But it will be a long time before we're gogged in like Hiro Protagonist to do our office jobs this way.

[coolestzed]

Alright, I’ve been holding this inside for years but I’m finally gonna say it.

Misako haters are actually fucking annoying at this point.

They always were to me, but now, they’re just OBJECTIVELY an annoyance. And they need to STOP.

They take literally ANY chance to slander her, even when it’s completely unwarranted. Like, I’d just look at a picture of her on Pinterest, and there’d be multiple comments going "the world’s worst mother". Or I’d see content about Koko and there’d always be comments comparing her and Misako and going like "Koko way better fuck Misako".

I’d even see a fucking meme and people would slander Misako. Like they couldn’t resist.

And that’s not even mentioning his people constantly make her seem way worse than she actually is. Im not gonna quote everything, but basically they act like she never does good things for Lloyd. That she doesn’t care about him at all! And it’s just- so WILDY out of character!! And it’s the same vice versa! I saw a funny Ninjago video the other day with a "your mom" joke and someone in the comments was like "jokes on you, Lloyd would never call Misako mom". I’m just?????? Yes he DOES????? ALL THE TIME???

People just act like their relationship is nonexistent! Like they don’t care about each other, or that Misako doesn’t care about Lloyd! Which is OBVIOUSLY not true!

People claim that she disappears every other season but the only seasons she was absent in are 12 and 13. Also, she has a job. She goes on expeditions. Obviously she’s not there 100% of the time. And she and Lloyd clearly spend time together off screen.

People don’t even acknowledge the reason why she left in the first place. They act like she dropped him off at a boarding school and dipped to take a vaycay. She was literally trying to stop her husband and son from having to fight to the death. You ever think about that? You ever think about how SHE felt in the situation? With her husband being consumed by evil and later being banished, and learning that he and their son would have to fight each other? She was HORRIFIED and GRIEVING! Ultimately she did it to save her family. It doesn’t make leaving Lloyd right but it’s understandable.

But apparently not to almost all of the fandom.

Most of y’all, completely ignore that, and everything else that came after season 2.

Misako constantly being worried about Lloyd in Tournament of Elements and Possession.

Both of them spending Day of the Departed together.

Her getting/building the Destiny’s Shadow as a birthday gift for Lloyd.

How she supported, fought beside, and risked her life for Lloyd in Hunted.

How she wanted to stay and fight with him during MoTO but only went inside because Lloyd urged her to protect the civilians.

Not to mention just their general interactions. THEY’RE ALWAYS HAPPY TO SEE EACH OTHER!!! Do you know how many times they hug?!

And this dialogue here:

"Aren’t you going to kiss your mother goodbye?"

"Mooom, we've-we've talked about this-"

WHAT MORE PROOF DO YOU NEED?!

Lloyd and Misako have a good, healthy and loving relationship. Misako has long since made up for her mistake and they’ve moved on.

Yet THE FANDOM REFUSES TO!!!

EVERYONE, TO THIS DAY, STILL TREATS HER LIKE THE FUCKING DEVIL!!!

I CAN’T EVEN COUNT THE NUMBER OF TIMES PEOPLE HAVE HAD OVERDRAMATIC TANTRUMS FROM HER JUST EXISTING.

IT MAKES ME SO UNREASONABLY ANGRY.

AND THE FACT THAT I’VE SOMEHOW BEEN SEEING EVEN MORE MISAKO HATE DURING AND AFTER MOTHERS DAY IS ACTUALLY APPALLING.

NOT EVEN FUCKING ENDEAVOR FROM MHA GETS THIS MUCH HATE AND HE’S DONE MUCH WORSE TO HIS FAMILY.

IT. HAS. BEEN. OVER. 16. SEASONS. AND. A. MOVIE.

GET. OVER. IT.

*deep breath*

Look, she’s not perfect. Obviously. She fucked up. But who in this series hasn’t? She came back, and she’s made sure to be a better mother to Lloyd. He forgave her, and they have a good relationship now. They’re close.

She wouldn’t be as hated if the writers didn’t do her dirty. Her introduction wasn’t handled the best, and having her and Lloyd have a more in depth discussion would’ve made the reunion and forgiveness feel less rushed and forced. That love triangle with Wu and Garmadon certainly didn’t do her any favors either. 😑

Regardless, her character’s gotten better over the seasons. Again, she and Lloyd and close and have a good relationship.

But hardly anyone acknowledges that, almost everyone in the fandom hyper fixates on that one mistake from years ago. They don’t pay attention to anything else. Like how she’s a better mother, or how she’s just a generally good person.

You aren’t supposed to judge characters or irl people solely on their past mistakes. Especially when they’ve already made up for them. Thats why the "Misako’s a horrible mother" statement is always bullshit to me.

Seriously, Misako’s been a part of Lloyd’s life longer than she’s been absent from it at this point.

The amount of passionate, unforgiving hate she gets is so undeserved and over the top. Too many people are projecting their own issues onto her. Or just being plain hateful. It’s not fair to define her entire character on a single mistake that she’s long made up for.

And it’s definitely not fair to people that actually like Misako. Often times on the few positive posts about her, there’d be Misako haters in the notes or reblogs complaining about her or insulting her, or just stating they hate her but love the content. And that is completely uncool and rude. It’s so unnecessary. You don’t do that, that’s so shitty. The again Misako haters have a habit of spouting unnecessary hate. Like it’s a terminal condition they have.

So, please, for the love of god, COOL IT. Stop and think, try to ACTUALLY look at her character without the veil of blind hatred.

If you still dislike or hate her, fine! But if you’re gonna detest her, at least hate her as she is and don’t make her worse than she actually is to justify hating her more.

And PLEASE stop bashing her at every turn, it’s annoying, upsetting, unwarranted, unnecessary, and just not good.

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

[everybodyhatesmiddleschool]

It has been six excruciating days since I was plunged into the Bridgerton fandom against my will.

I was minding my own business, watching YouTube compilations of the best kisses in TV history, when I unwittingly clicked on a video about Colin and Penelope, and I was immediately down so bad for them.

Let me be clear: Bridgerton was not part of my life before I clicked on that video. I wanted nothing to do with it; I had no intention of ever watching or reading that smut. And then, without warning, it swept in and took me in the night, much like Colin Bridgerton in the back of a carriage.

To say I have been lost in the sauce these past six days would be a gross understatement. The carriage scene is literally ruining my life. I haven’t gone to sleep before 1 a.m. since Sunday, and I have been over an hour late to work every day. Why? Because I cannot stop consuming that godforsaken scene — watching gifs of it over and over, reading y’all’s hilarious takes and memes about it, watching it with the audio descriptions turned on (🥵), watching it with the music removed (🥵🥵), watching Luke and Nicola on their press tour, watching, watching, watching.

Have I started actually watching season 1 of the show? Of course. Did I check out the large-print version of the first book from the library since it was the only copy available? You bet. But I do not care about these other characters and storylines. I want it to be Colin and Penelope on the screen and the page in every sentence and every scene.

And either fortunately or unfortunately, I don’t even have to be looking at a screen to be distracted by them — my daydreaming has never been as maladaptive in my life as it has been this week. I can hardly think of one ten-minute stretch in the past six days in which some imaginary scenario has not been taking over my brain. I want to be part of their world so bad — not just Bridgerton, but Shondaland. As is the case for 90% of all of my daydreams, I want these actors to know I exist. I want them to look at me with just as much awe and love as I look at them. So I might be staring at my computer screen in my cubicle, but in my mind, I’m on a press tour of my own that intersects with theirs. (I’m never the desperate fan with no life in my dreams; my idols always see me as their equal). I might be driving my commute in my car, but in my mind, they’re congratulating me about my own novel being optioned by Netflix. I might be brushing my teeth in my bathroom, but in my mind, we’re laughing together on Graham Norton’s couch.

But Lord, here comes that freaking carriage scene once again, inserting itself into my mind (pun unavoidable). I cannot get over it. I’m so stuck there that I’ve found myself wearing shoes I don’t remember putting on, carrying coffee mugs I don’t remember putting in my bag, driving a speed limit I don’t remember agreeing to as acceptable. There is laundry that needs to be folded. Bills need to be paid. Emails need to be deleted en masse without reading. But I can’t find the door that will let me out of this damn carriage.

I had a conversation with myself two days ago about how we might be able to adapt to this new living situation. After a few temper tantrums, I finally said, “Girl, if you’re going to watch this scene 1,000 times, you have got to find a way to make it a constructive part of your life.” So I did what any rational adult would do: I started writing a scholarly paper about why it’s so powerful — not just for me but, according to the internet, for a lot of women. And I have every intention of writing an entire paper about this … if I can find the time. I’m just so busy right now with consuming this damn scene.

Was starting to write that article enough to satiate my obsession with this scene, with this show and these actors? Of course not. So this morning, I started writing a spicy scene of my own, featuring not Colin and Penelope but two other vaguely outlined characters who I’m sure I’ll give names and personalities to later. I was literally sitting in my cubicle, hunched over my planner, writing down snippets of sexiness in as small a print as possible in case someone walked up on me and looked over my shoulder without me noticing. And I’m not gonna lie: this shit’s good. I’ve never written smut before, because I’ve never had enough spice in my own life to feel like I’d be able to do it justice on paper. But that imagination of mine — she’s a freak. And my mind? My mind has moved way past the gutter. It is now in the outhouse. It’s in the slop with the pigs.

It should have come as no surprise, but as usual, the act of actually writing down the jumble of mess in my brain has had the effect of breaking some of the spell. I was also forced to focus on work because of looming deadlines, and I currently feel calmer than I have since Sunday. But I am truly living in fear of June 13. I cannot go through this again, and I know that I’m bound to, because I know that what’s been shown so far won’t hold a candle to what’s coming. And if I get down bad any further, I will be deep enough in the ground for this to become my final resting place. I’m not ready to be buried, but it feels inevitable.

But somehow, despite my own wants and fears, and despite the fact that we haven’t even been introduced yet to the bedroom where Colin and Penelope are sure to end up, I am somehow already lurking from behind the window curtains in the corner, peeking out at them doing the deed. I know what I hope I’ll see: based on the excerpt I’ve seen from the book, they will be in front of a mirror — expressly because Colin wants Penelope to see herself in full for the glorious goddess she is, and she will look at her sexy, bare self with just as much pride and love as we viewers behind the screen will (but probably with slightly less lust than Colin, who I pray will be very loud about how hot she is).

I am dreaming about this scene, but I dread it. Because if it’s as good as the carriage scene, I will immediately be re-enscripted and sent right back to the trenches where I spent the last six days. I’m excited, but I’m scared. And I’m afraid of getting lost in the woods again, because I know that if I do, I won’t want to be found.

[augustjustice]

I see your “Eddie fell first, Steve fell harder” and raise you:

Steve Harrington falls in love fast.

It happened with Nancy. Nancy Wheeler, junior year. Make outs in dimly lit high school bathrooms and study sessions where all they had done was study and impromptu pool parties that quickly led to the revelation that this thing with Nancy was more. More than what he’d felt with the other girls before, even the ones he had really, really liked. And with his sudden, intense fall from infatuation to something more with Nancy Wheeler came the uglier parts--Steve’s jealousy and the awful choices that Steve could never really make up for. But even from the worst parts bloomed some of the better ones: Steve learning to own up to his mistakes, to apologize without expectation. 

And that’s when he had stumbled into the monster fighting, and the entire situation had delivered a healthy helping of the wallop to the head Steve needed to start to really turn his shit around. 

He had loved Nancy Wheeler, quickly, passionately, fiercely. He loved her, and she had made him want to be better. She had made him want to be more. 

It happened again with Robin. Long days slinging ice cream for minimum wage while Robin mocked Steve’s every attempt to flirt turned to top secret code cracking missions. After the luck Steve had had, he isn’t even sure why he had been surprised when their play at being heroes had led to Robin and him being kidnapped, tortured, and drugged out of their minds in a secret Russian facility underneath the Starcourt Mall, strapped together and giggling madly as they reminisced about Click’s class. 

In the span of a few hours, Steve could feel it, that tell-tale clench in his chest, like he was dropping on a roller coaster. Falling, fast and swift, like he always did, even when he was certain they were going to die. 

And he’d owned up to it, coming down from the high, huddled on that dirty mall bathroom floor. Only for Robin, overachiever that she was, to one up his confession with her one of her own, fear in her eyes as she admitted to longing stares at Tammy Thompson, upending everything Steve thought he knew and turning his world on it’s axis. Robin Buckley--his Scoops Ahoy co-worker, his brother in arms, the girl he was quickly coming to realize was his best friend--liked girls. 

Steve thinks, even now, the most shocking part about it had been how it changed everything, and nothing at all. 

He loves Robin Buckley fiercely, still, with everything that he is and wishes he could be. If platonic soulmates exist, she’s his. He would die for her without even batting an eye. 

It isn’t the love he thought he was looking for, but, in so many ways, Steve thinks it might be better.

So, when it comes around again, it isn’t as surprising as Steve guesses it should be. 

Steve has been avoiding Eddie Munson for months now, since not long after the start of fall semester, when Dustin had come whizzing into Family Video to tell Steve all about the school’s club around the kids’ nerdy little fantasy game and the amazingly cool DM--dungeon master, Dustin explains later, and, seriously, how that is not a sex thing is still beyond Steve--who runs it: none other than “the Freak” Munson himself. 

Steve remembers Munson, from school. It’s sort of hard not to, what with his flair for the dramatics, the way he was always putting himself out there and painting a target on his back. 

King Steve had been a tiny bit jealous of the fearless way Eddie was so willing to be openly, unapologetically himself. 

Babysitter Steve is a lot jealous when Dustin and the other shrimps, stars in their eyes, go on and on about how cool Eddie is now.

So, no matter how many times Dustin insists he thinks that Steve and Eddie would actually get along, if they ever got to know each other, Steve avoids him.

The Upside Down, as it so often does, seems to have other plans. 

Turns out, Henderson, little shit that he his, had been right. Again. 

A few days of helping Eddie hide from the cops and Upside Down misadventures is all it takes to realize: he and Eddie do get along. 

Eddie, who looks to Steve for explanations, big brown eyes curious and anxious, and then actually listens to Steve when he provides them. Eddie, who catches Dustin by the shoulders when he looks like he’s about to charge into Lover’s Lake himself and play wrestles with him in the grass as they prepare themselves for battle, falling into the roll of de facto big brother as easily as Steve always has. Eddie, who grins wide and teasing as he calls Steve big boy and presses his should right up against Steve’s chest as he lays down a plan of attack, always invading his space in a way that should be too close for comfort but Steve finds he doesn’t mind. Eddie, who confesses that he considers himself a coward despite all evidence to the contrary; who backs up Steve’s protests when the others are ready to charge full speed ahead into danger; who calls Steve a bad ass with a delighted twinkle in his eye after he bites into that gnarly demo-bat; who admits, open and easy, that he was jealous of Steve too. 

Eddie, who along with everyone around Steve, has somehow gotten it into his head that Steve and Nancy are on round two of their second chance romance, fated to fall back into each other’s arms here at the end of times. 

He tells Steve so, in no uncertain terms, while Steve’s eyes drift downwards, the moment feeling surreal as he watches Eddie’s mouth form the words. 

He buys into it, a little, though, he guesses. Enough to admit his cross-country dreams had included Nancy, as they trek to take care of Vecna once and for all. 

Even as he says the words out loud, they don’t quite sound right to him anymore. 

A silence falls after his admission, Nancy looking at him like she knows she needs to say something. And then Robin, his own personal guardian angel, interrupts them, and the moment passes. 

Their moment passes. For good this time. 

After they’ve done all they could to put a stop to Vecna, they head back to Eddie’s trailer, their agreed upon rendezvous point. 

As soon as he sees the two figures huddled on the ground, a cloud of demo-bats dissipating in the air above them, Steve breaks into a run.

Dustin is clutching Eddie in his arms. Steve falls to his knees beside them, reaching out to shoulder Eddie’s weight himself. 

Steve is certain that he’s dead. 

The thought seems, for just a moment, to make his own heart freeze in his chest.

Beneath him, Eddie suddenly sucks in a wet, rattling breath.

“Shit,” Steve exhales, realizing only then that he had been holding his own, “shit, Eddie. Hey, man. You’re okay. You’re gonna be okay.”

Beside him, Dustin lets out a wrecked sob. He looks at Steve like he believes it. 

“I thought I told you not to be a hero,” Steve says, later, voice quiet but stern.

They made it to the relative safety of the mobile home and are now tucked together in the back, Eddie’s head sprawled against his knees. Steve keeps an arm clutched around him to keep him as still as he can, Nancy taking the curves back to the Creel House way too fast.

Steve had seen the severed rope as they trundled, just barely, out of the portal in the roof of the trailer and back into the real world. Dustin has been limping ever since they found him.

Eddie had gone back. To distract the bats. To protect them. He’d even done his best to save Dustin from playing hero in the process. 

It was brave, and heroic, and stupid, and Steve aches a little at the thought of it. 

“Couldn’t let you show me up this time, big boy,” Eddie slurs, the laugh in his voice almost choked as he blinks blearily up at Steve, brown eyes dazed but bright. 

Then he passes out in Steve’s lap.

Oh, Steve thinks, hand gripped around Eddie’s wrist, his steady pulse beneath Steve’s fingertips a comfort as a new kind of panic starts to rise. 

He feels it. The thickness in the air as something clenches in his chest, dizzying, like a rollercoaster drop. 

Falling.

Oh, holy shit.