#bleach is old fav

[kcciny]

Rereading bleach and the older art is so <333

[g4rchomp]

got bleach on my pants this is the worst fucking thing that ever happened to me

[sxnshxnxxnddxxsxxs]

Duke Thomas headcannons becuase please just write him as a black boy:

the first time there’s a summer rain at night after he moves into Wayne Manor Duke sets up the speakers and the floodlights and lives out his 00’s rnb music video dreams

after that Alfred will sometimes drive him around in the back of one of the cars when it rains at night because he doesn’t want his latest grandson to get hypothermia but understands that it is very important to live out 00’s rnb music video dreams

Duke teaches Cass the Usher watch this thing and originally they only use it to tell each other that they’re gonna do some dumb shit but then Cass decides she really likes it and uses it more than the actual sign

Duke and Cass have a theme song because they are besties and that theme song is black and yellow by Wiz Khalifa whenever it plays they drop everything to rap to each other and if anyone turns it off before it finishes they start it again even louder it becomes a great distraction technique for other batfamily members. they chose the song because of their uniforms but the first time a civilian sees how enthusiastic they are about the song they draw a different conclusion and they find it so funny that they definitely have to keep it as their theme song from now on

Duke lives a no shoes in the house life no matter who’s house it is or what everyone else is doing

He also keeps his Signal uniform exclusively in the batcave because no uniforms in the Manor seems like the natural extension for no outside clothes in bed

Duke sneaks scotch bonnets into the Manor kitchen generally timed with the occasions that Jason is around and in the mood to cook. Dinner those nights feature running eyes and noses from Bruce Tim and Steph along with all the milk in the Manor finishing. It’s great entertainment for Duke Cass Damian Jason and Dick

Duke has locs he lowkey thinks about bleaching the ends to match the aesthetic of his uniform but he’s unsure of if it will make him to conspicuous

When he first moved to the Manor he got pooled into the schedule to pick up hair shop (beauty supply store) supplies with the Fox’s because they’re all way too busy of people to be driving out of the way individually so it only made sense to add Duke to that. He and Tam also timetable his retwist appointments with her hair appointments for the same time

Duke is an instigator Jason and Tim will be having a petty squabble that is about to fizzle out but then Duke walks past them and just whispers a quick “if I were you I wouldn’t have that” and then an hour later a priceless vase is broken there’s holes in the wall and Tim and Jason have matching black eyes. Duke considers it a public service to provide Babs with entertainment for when Oracle hours a slow she agrees and doesn’t snitch on just how much shit Duke starts so he can get away with even more

Duke joins Jason and Alfred’s book club and the first book he picks is Beloved because like they’re in this big old gothic manor respect the aesthetic

One time Bruce walks passed Duke on ft to his friends and he’s performing “Wisdom” and Bruce thinks it’s something Duke came up with himself and is trying to be a supportive dad and is like “that’s great son” with a really strained smile and Duke just sticks to the bit like “you really think so?” bruce even more pained “yeah it’s amazing”

He also has exclusively satin pillowcases and gives everyone in the Manor a set because it’s good for the hair and therefore a good use of Bruce’s rich people money

Duke upon realising that he was gonna be adopted by a bunch of crime fighting pseudofurries and was going to join them in the crime fighting said this some white people shit and that’s why he chose Signal rather than some bioluminescent bird

[theidiotwhowritesthings]

The World Ended

Joel Miller x F!Reader

Warnings: Joel Miller is hella manipulative, power imbalance, non descriptive age gap, Dub Con, smut, oral fem receiving, fingering, rough sex, P in V, Dom!Joel Miller, breeding kink adjacent if you squint and read between the lines, mentions of death of child, mentions of suicidal ideation (no more so than the show discusses), mentions of trauma, inspired by '10 Cloverfield Lane'

Word Count: 5,852

Summary: You wake up in an entirely new world, but you find comfort and love in an ally. He saved your life after all. Why wouldn't you trust him? Haunted Hoedown prompt: Stranded AU/Cult AU + "every moment might be our last, let's make the most of it."

[a/n: my contribution for haunted hoedown b/c i was inspired and couldn't resist (def cheated and ignored the days tho i just picked my fav parts of different prompts lol). 10/10 would recommend surfing that tag b/c people are making WORKS OF ART. This is just my toss it together addition lol]

"manipulation and control can sometimes be disguised as love." -abegail turingan

It was odd to wake up with no memory of going to bed. Disorienting was probably the more accurate word. Enough so that for a brief moment all you could do was stare up at the concrete ceiling above you. There was a headache lingering behind your eyes that no amount of blinking would clear away. Where were the stars? The thought drifted through your foggy mind. Your bedroom had glow in the dark stars plastered to the ceiling. A design choice that a nine year old you chose at the store, and one that your parents were never able to peel away no matter how many years had passed⏤ they were nostalgic in that sense. You must have been just like them considering you admired those cheap, plastic stars while staying in your parents’ home during this visit.

But the stars were gone.

Everything was gone, and the sharp smell of antiseptic and bleach replaced the floral scent of your mother’s detergent. You turned your head into your pillow in hopes that the comfort of your bed would ease the headache that seemed to worsen the longer you were awake. You found no comfort though because the pillow you laid on was not your own. 

Slowly, you began to sit up and you weren’t sure what was more distracting: the unexplained aching pain of all your muscles or the unfamiliar strange room you found yourself sitting in. The walls were like the ceiling, undecorated concrete, and the only bit of furniture was the metal framed cot you were now lying on. A hospital gown covered your otherwise bare body. 

The clarity that settled in your mind was stark and startling. Any of the fog you initially woke with vanished in a snap, and your breaths came in quick, hyperventilated gasps. Oh, God. Oh, God. You threw your sore legs over the edge of the bed to rise. Your feet only brushed against the cold tile of the ground before you found yourself sprawled on the floor. 

“Help…” The word left your lips in a breathless whisper as you tried to move your weak legs. You could only manage to sit up. “Help.” With every attempt, your voice grew stronger until you were screaming. “Help me! Help!”

A heavy, metal door, one across the room that you hadn’t even noticed in your panicked state, began to creak open. You sucked in a sharp breath, fear palpable, as an unfamiliar man stood in the doorway. He was older than you. Gray littered his brown, messy hair and facial hair, but it suited him. The man wore a dark green flannel that accented his broad shoulders. Everything about his figure exuded strength and intimidation from his build to the large hands that held a box of some kind. However, the moment his dark brown eyes landed on yours they softened. His shoulders hunched marginally, as if he were trying to look smaller than he actually was, and a line of worry formed between his furrowed brow.

“Hey! I need someone in ‘ere!” He barked over his shoulder, never breaking eye contact, in a deeply southern drawl. The man rushed into the room toward you, but when you flinched at his approach he slowed his pace. He took one hand off the box to hold in your direction, palm stretched outward, “It’s alright. You’re safe. Promise.” Coming from a stranger, and in this scenario, his words did nothing to calm your racing heart. You crawled backwards until your back hit the cot. Your name suddenly left his lips. “I’m⏤ My name is Joel.”

“How⏤ How do you know my name?” You gasped.

“Your license. It was in your bag. Didn’ mean to pry but…” Joel said slowly. “Are you⏤”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as you blurted out, “Where the hell am I? Why am I here? What is going on? I⏤”

“Whoa, whoa.” Joel knelt down in front of you but kept his distance which you appreciated. “One thing at a time, darlin’.” He shook his head. “You were in a car accident… ‘bout two days ago now.”

“A car accident?” As the words left your own lips, there was a flicker of some forgotten memory playing in your head. The sound of a car horn, blinding headlights, the crunch of metal on metal, and the taste of blood. You flinched, “I… Oh, God.” You held your head with a trembling hand but winced as your hand brushed against a tender spot on the left side of your face. “Is this… Is this a hospital then?” The room resembled a prison more than it did a hospital room. Plus, it made no sense to you that your parents weren’t here. The man saw your license which meant they’d know who to contact. “Where is my family?”

Joel hesitated and you saw a look of what almost looked like regret in his eyes. You repeated your question more firmly this time. He sighed, “That’s… tougher to answer.”

“What the hell does that mean?”

A second later, a man and a woman dressed in bright orange HAZMAT suits came storming into the room. It was a blur of yelling and chaos and they descended upon you. Joel argued loudly with them and your head was spinning enough that it was difficult to follow what was happening. Gloved hands wrapped around your arm, ripping you up from the ground, but it was short lived. The man who had grabbed you was shoved away by Joel who gently sat you on the side of the cot before standing in front of you as a barrier.

“Don’ you fuckin’ grab her like that.” Joel snarled. The soft kindness that had been in his tone only moments ago was gone now. “You hear me??”

“Sir, you are not supposed to be in here.” The woman snapped. “Her wounds⏤”

“Her wounds are from the accident. I already told you.”

“We still need to test her⏤”

“Fine, but you don’ jus’ fuckin’ grab ‘er like that!”

There was nothing about this moment that could be called peaceful, but Joel’s defensive stance and his deep voice somehow managed to calm your racing heart. You didn’t know why the man was so protective over you, but you’d take any ally you could in this moment. The argument continued long enough for only a few more verbal jabs at one another. It settled on Joel sitting by your side glaring at the man in the HAZMAT suit as he used two separate swabs on you. One against the wound on your forehead and the other in your mouth.

“By entering without precautionary measures, you have bought yourself another 24 hours of quarantine, Mr. Miller.” The woman announced.

Joel didn’t respond but just glared at the woman instead. The second the two of them disappeared out of the room, Joel’s features softened again. You hugged yourself, trying to keep from shaking, and swallowed the lump that now sat in the middle of your throat. “Thank you. For that.”

“Least I can do.” Joel murmured as his eyes traced your face⏤ examining your wound, you assumed. You weren’t quite sure what he meant by that, but Joel didn’t elaborate. Sitting this close to him, there was something familiar about. You weren’t sure why because you were positive you had never spoken to him before. You’d remember a face this handsome. A voice that distinct and hypnotizing. “How do you feel?”

“Um. Sore. Confused.” You admitted. Recalling how the woman addressed him, you cleared your throat. “Mr. Miller⏤”

“Joel, darlin’. Jus’ Joel.”

“Joel…” You tested the name out. “Please⏤ Please tell me what’s going on. Where am I? Where is my family? Why⏤ Why were they in HAZMAT suits?”

The stranger you were finding comfort in let out a slow sigh. He rose from the bed to pick up the box he had brought with him. You had forgotten about that entirely. Joel sat back down after opening it and offered it to you. There was a simple set of men’s clothes in the box along with a water bottle and bag of chips. He shook his head. 

“All I had were a few of my spare things.” Joel said. “Figured you might be thirsty or⏤ or hungry.”

You appreciated the gesture, but it wasn’t what you wanted right now, “Joel. What happened?”

He let out another long sigh before meeting your gaze with a look of mourning, “The world ended, darlin’.”

The bunker was large enough to fit thirty or so people. It was an underground, concrete community made by a survivalist who went by the name of Ezra. You had yet to meet this mysterious man which felt odd since the community wasn’t that large, but it wasn’t too shocking since you didn’t do much exploring since your arrival. 

The world had ended. That’s what Joel told you. Hell, that’s what everyone kept telling you, but none of them could tell you concretely how. Every time the discussion came up, there was a new story involved. Aliens had invaded. Zombies had overtaken. A virus wiped out humanity. The theories were endless and since you couldn’t remember your last moments above ground you had no opinion on the matter. The last thing you could recall was leaving the house to meet some old friends who stayed local to your hometown for drinks. You got into the car, and the next thing you remembered was waking up in a concrete room.

You hoped your memory would come back gradually, but two weeks had passed and nothing was any more clear. You mourned a muddled memory. Families and friends ripped away from you in uncertain measures, and it left you reeling. The only pillar you had right now was Joel Miller. He had saved you in more ways than one. When the world went to shit, Joel was on his way to the bunker. All the people here were either friends or they knew this Ezra character in some way and that’s how they bought themselves a ticket into this sanctuary. Joel had been the survivalist’s contractor. Helped build this place and even mocked the man when first given the job. 

But, when the world did end, Joel was offered safety and on his way there he came across your wreck on the side of the road. He scooped you up and fought for your place here with him.

You owed him your life.

The sound of a door opening snapped you out of the daze you had fallen into. Joel stepped into the shared bunk space looking worn out. While your simple duty in this community was currently food prep, Joel’s was more labored. He helped with any repairs and upkeep to ensure everything was working as it should. He dropped his tool belt by the door with a groan.

“Long day?” You asked with a small smile. Joel grunted an affirmative. He crossed the small room to drop down onto the couch. Since you were technically an add on rather than one of the invited, you were forced to share the room with Joel. Though ‘forced’ wasn’t quite the right word. You honestly didn’t mind it at all. Having a familiar face, even if it were one you only just met, brought you comfort. Though you kind of felt bad he was now stuck with you. There was no way he could’ve known saving your life off the side of the street was going to chain your existence to him.

The room was decent though. There was a simple bed in one corner, a couch pushed up against the wall, a table with two chairs, and a mostly empty drawer. Over the last two weeks, you and Joel had collected or traded objects to make the room your own. You traded a set of spare socks that had come with the room for a small, blue vase that you set in the middle of the table. Joel had even managed to find a few books and magazines that he gifted you.

You pushed up from the bed to sit on the couch beside him. You pulled your legs in to tuck under yourself. The shirt you wore was one of his flannels, you still had limited clothing options, but you had managed to scourge up a pair of yoga pants that fit you well enough. 

“You?” Joel asked as he rested his head on the back of the couch.

“Food prep was exciting as always.” You joked. Joel breathed out a small, tired chuckle. You nodded toward the bed. “Lay down. Sleep.” Joel shot you a light glare. From the beginning, Joel was adamant about sleeping on the couch so you could have the bed. Even when you told him it made more sense for him to have the bed since you were smaller. Joel wouldn’t even listen to the suggestion of swapping turns. “Joel.”

“Couch is fine.” Joel replied gruffly and closed his eyes.

“If it’s fine then I should have no issues sleeping on it, right?”

“Ain’t gonna happen.”

You set your hand on his arm and felt him slightly stiffen at your touch. Joel cracked open his eyes to peek at you. “Please take the bed tonight. Please.” He furrowed his brow and you gave his arm a squeeze. “Nothing would make me happier right now. I’m serious.”

Joel didn’t say anything to begin with. He just held your gaze and under the weight of his stare you felt the back of your neck warm. The man was painfully attractive, it couldn’t be argued, but that wasn’t what made your heart skip a beat or your core secretly ache. It was the way Joel looked at you and spoke to you. The way he treated you. If his gaze were to be believed, you must have been a work of art. Joel stared at you like a dying man watching his last sunset. His voice was always deep and honeyed when he spoke to you. The words he chose put the respect and care he had for you on clear display. 

The world ended and everything in your life felt cold, but not Joel. Joel was warmth.

Joel’s other hand settled on top of your smaller one. His thumb traced your knuckles and your throat felt tight at the contact. He gave your hand a quick squeeze and then stood up with a groan. You heard his knees crack, but he made no comment on it. Joel just leaned over and pressed a kiss to the top of your head, “Thank you, baby.”

You watched him kick off his boots and drop into bed. A soft groan left his lips and he fell asleep before the lights were even off.

 The sky was blue. Your head rested on Joel’s shoulder as the two of you sat on the ground leaning back against the wall. A total of a month had passed now, and you confided in Joel that you missed the sky. In response, he brought you here. It was a restricted space that he only had access to because he would come up here to do repairs on the electrical system. In the entire bunker, it was the closest to above ground that you could be. Only one staircase and a thick, metal door separated you from the world outside. On the door was a small window and from where you sat you could see a patch of sky.

“Do you think the world really ended?” You asked softly.

Joel glanced at you without jostling your position too much, “What’dya mean?”

“The sky is too pretty for the world to have ended, don’t you think?” You mumbled. It wasn’t just the sky that created your doubt. There was a woman who worked with the mysterious Ezra. She said she would type out anything he dictated to her. She didn’t think the world had ended. She thought it was all some conspiracy or ploy. You weren’t sure how much weight you put into her words, but it left the question in your mind. “What if the world is completely normal up there and we’re just rotting away in a tomb?”

Joel shook his head. “You hear the sirens an’ gunfire. The SOS broadcasts on the radio.”

“Couldn’t that be faked?” You asked. Joel hummed in a noncommittal fashion. You shrugged, “You never told me how the world ended. Everyone else has given me their two cents, but you never talk about it.”

“Cause it doesn’ matter.”

“Why wouldn’t it matter?”

Joel was silent for a few moments, but you waited patiently for him to speak. He shifted and with your head still on his shoulder, his hand found yours. “It doesn’ matter ‘cause… my world ended two years ago.” You lifted your head so you could face him, but Joel kept his eyes on the patch of blue sky. “I… I lost my daughter. Sarah.” You squeezed his hand as your heart ached for him. “Wasn’t fair. Should’ve been me. But… But nothin’ has made much sense since.”

“Joel, I am… I am so sorry.” You whispered.

“I lied.” Joel said and your eyebrows furrowed. He swallowed nervously and finally turned to look at you. “When I found ya, I wasn’ headin’ to the bunker.”

“Where… Where were you going then?”

“Home.” Joel shrugged. “The sirens were goin’ off, people were in a frenzy, Ezra texted me some freakish invite, but… I planned on headin’ home to jus’ wait for the end.” It was devastating to hear someone you had come to care so much for admit that truth. Your heart broke for him. Not a single shred of you could ever imagine the pain or horror of losing a child. “On my way, I ran into you. Saw your car flipped on the side of the road. Once I got ya out, it’s not like I could take ya to the hospital with the way all of it was so…”

Joel motioned to the bunker around the both of you. The rest was history. In the silence, you could hear the whirring noise of the motors working the fans and the pounding of your heart in your ears. You let the hand not in his lift to rake your fingertips through the scruff on his jaw as your thumb rubbed back and forth over his cheek. Joel’s eyes fluttered closed at your touch and a soft breath left his lips. He leaned into your hand.

“I… Joel, I don’t know what to say…”

“This is ‘nough.” Joel murmured. There was a tension that had formed the second you caressed Joel’s face and it only built the longer you were in contact with him. It was a long time coming and was only coming to a head just now. You could control yourself, you were sure of it, but when Joel’s sad eyes opened once more the breath was knocked out of your lungs. His lips twitched into a small smile. “You’re the first thing I’ve cared ‘bout in a very long time, baby.”

The world had ended, supposedly. What was the use of wasted time?

You leaned in and pressed your lips against his. The kiss was soft and hesitant. A brush of you against him as Joel breathed in a strangled gasp. He pulled back and your heart dropped. Embarrassment filled your very soul as you let your hand fall away from him.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn't have. I just thought, every moment might be our last, we should make the most of it. Or⏤”

“It’s not that, baby girl.” Joel immediately cupped your face and you felt yourself melt between his warm, coarse hands. “You don’ owe me this. You know that, right? I don’ expect…”

You gave a small shake of your head, your eyes glued to his lips, “I know, Joel. I know. I… This is my choice. I want you.”

Joel took in a slow breath through his nose as his jaw locked. His hands tightened around your face, caressing the skin along your face and neck, and one hand slipped to cup the back of your head as his forehead leaned against yours. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse, “Say it again.”

“I want you, Joel.”

Joel initiated the kiss this time, and it was far from hesitant. At your consent, it was like he dropped all semblance of his self control. His lips were bruising against yours and Joel was desperate in getting you closer. He dragged you over so you were straddling his lap. His hands roamed down your body until they found your hips. Joel’s tongue slipped past your parted lips just as he dragged your aching core against his half hard cock⏤ thrusting up against you while swallowing the moan that left your throat.

He wrapped an arm around your middle and suddenly you found yourself on your back. The cool concrete floor was jarring to how hot you felt. Hands sunk into the waistband and with one firm pull both your tights and underwear were down to your ankles. You gasped in surprise, but Joel didn’t pause. 

“Jesus Christ, what a pretty fuckin’ pussy, baby.” Joel groaned and tugged a foot out from your clothes so both articles wrapped around only one of your legs. He roughly grabbed your thighs and dragged you closer so when he dropped to the ground his mouth was immediately buried into your warmth. You yelped at the contact but it was followed by a wanton groan as his tongue ravished you. It was messy and rushed. Joel ate you out like you were his last meal, and the groans and slurping sounds he made were downright sinful.

“Joel! I⏤ Oh, God.” You gasped and your hands buried in his hair. Your hips lifted to chase after his mouth, but Joel dropped his arm across your waist and pinned you to the floor with a chuckle. 

Joel lifted his face and turned to bite down on your thigh. You cried out at the sting of his teeth against your skin, but the drag of his hot tongue against the spot left you whimpering. “C’mon, baby.” You tugged on his hair to try and get his lips back where you wanted them, but he stayed firm. “Tell me you want this. Tell me you want me.”

“Want you, Joel. Need you.”

Thick fingers dragged up and down through the mess he’d already made and one began to prod at your entrance without actually sinking in. “Again.”

“Please. Please!” You tried to grind down against him, but his grip on your waist kept you in place. “I want you, Joel. Want you so badly. Please.” Joel had one fingertip circling your hole, but at your desperate pleas he sunk three of his large fingers right in. You screamed, both in alarm and at the sharp sting, “Shit! Joel, too much!”

“Shhh, baby girl. You’re okay.” His lips found your clit and the suction he applied there slowly took away the sting of his rapidly moving fingers. Just as he reassured you, you were okay. More than okay. Pleasure was clouding your mind and you were a squirming, sopping mess under him. Joel’s fingers curled up into you, dragging against your walls, and he made quick work in finding the spot that punched stars into your vision. “There we go, baby. Jus’ like that.” He kept his lips against your clit as he spoke and your wet flesh muffled his praise. “Lemme feel you squeeze ‘round my fingers so I can feel you squeeze ‘round my fat cock. C’mon.”

Teeth nipped at your clit, followed by the smoothing of his tongue, and combined with the pounding of his fingers you came with a shuddering cry. Joel didn’t stop his onslaught and he lowered his lips from your clit so he could drink up every bit of the soaking wet mess he made.

“Joel. Fuck.” You gasped for the air he had somehow managed to punch out of your lungs with his hand alone. “That was…”

“Not done, baby girl.” Joel sat up on his knees but kept his place between your legs. You weakly pushed yourself up onto your elbows and it only dawned on you then that this entire time he had been fully clothed. It was an almost uncomfortable balance between the two of you. “Get up ‘ere.” You began to push up from your elbows and the moment you were close enough his hand wrapped around the back of your neck so he could help you up the rest of the way into the seated position you now sat in. He gazed down at you, pupils blown in lust, and his dark stare soaked in the sight of you. “Say it.”

Knowing exactly what he wanted, you mumbled, “I want you, Joel.”

“Good girl. Open.” Joel grunted. The hand at the back of your neck grabbed you by the hair and he tugged down so your chin was tilted up. Joel shoved the three fingers he had deep in your cunt into your mouth. You closed your lips around him and moaned at the taste of yourself. “Belt, baby. Get my belt.”

You tried to glance down, but Joel kept his grip on you tight so you could only stare up at him as he pushed his fingers deeper into your mouth. Blindly, your hands groped for his belt and you struggled to get it undone as you gagged around his fingers.

“Shh. You can multitask, baby, I believe in ya.” Joel cooed and didn’t relent. “Work at it. Be good.” You traced his thick fingers with your tongue and your hands finally managed to get his belt undone. You got your hands into his pants, tugging down his boxers, and Joel groaned loudly as your hands wrapped around his hard, girthy cock. The size of him alone had you tense in surprise. “Hey, it’s alright, baby girl.” Joel’s fingers slipped out of your mouth and you couldn’t help but cough to try and clear the tickle at the back of your throat. He carefully pushed you down, onto your back again, but he followed with you so he was hovering over your body. One hand at the back of your neck, cupping it softly, while his other rested by your head to hold himself up. “You can handle this. I swear, this perfect pussy is made for me, baby.”

Joel lowered himself to capture your lips with his. The kiss was soft and tender. It was a sweet moment as his cock dragged slowly against you. His tongue licked against the curve of your lower lip just as the tip of him notched at your hole. You opened your mouth to ask him to start slow, but Joel shoved his tongue into your mouth, deepening the kiss, as his painfully large cock shoved into you. You screamed, muffled by his own mouth, as he bottomed out in one single thrust. Tears involuntarily sprung to your eyes at the intrusion and you pulled your lips away from Joel by turned you head. Your fingernails dug into his back.

“Joel, that⏤ that kind of hurt.”

“I know, I’m sorry, baby girl.” Joel buried his face into the crook of your neck. He left open mouth kisses there between reassurances. “Jus’ give it a minute. You’re doin’ so good. So good.” Joel was thankfully staying still inside of you and with the work he put in along the length of your neck you began to feel the sting start to fade. Joel shifted, just a bit, and you shuddered at the slight drag of him. His cock twitched and he moaned against your skin. “Fuck, you feel so good. So perfect. Knew you would.” Joel gave a short, experimental thrust and you gasped at the wave of pleasure you were pulled under. “Gotta move, baby girl.”

Joel pulled back until just the tip remained then rocked his hips forward hard enough to push you across the concrete floor. He roughly grabbed you by the thigh and pulled your leg up. You followed his lead and hooked your ankles around his back as Joel’s grip on the back of your neck tightened and he quickly fell into an unrelenting pace. 

“Told you, baby girl.” Joel grunted, the only other sound being your breathless moans and the wet sounds of your pussy sucking his cock in with every powerful thrust. “Made for me.” Joel sung praises as that band of want and desire tightened in your core by the second. His hand slipped between your bodies to find your clit once more and your eyes squeezed shut with a gasp. As soon as they shut though, his touch was gone and with that hand he grabbed you by the face. Your eyes snapped back open in surprise. “Nuh uh. Eyes on me. You hear me?” You nodded and he tightened his grip⏤ his fingers digging almost painfully into your cheeks. “Words, baby. Lemme hear you say it.”

“Keep⏤” You gasped. “Keep my eyes on you.”

“Good girl.” Joel’s hand slipped back down and when his fingers reached their goal it took every bit of strength to keep your eyes open. Your orgasm slammed into you like a freight train and a cry of pleasure slipped past your lips. Joel groaned loudly. “Fuck, fuck, fuck. Takin’ me so well, baby girl, just like I knew you would.” 

His pace ramped up but he lost his rhythm and in a brief moment of clarity you gasped, “Joel! Joel, you gotta⏤ fuck! Oh God. You gotta pull out, Joel.” He didn’t slow and for a brief moment sharp fear mingled with the overwhelming pleasure. “Joel!”

At last second, Joel ripped himself off you with a guttural groan and you felt the warmth of his release spurt on your hips. Your entire body went lax as he continued to milk the last bit of him onto your body and you felt the warm, sticky cum drip down the sides of your hip and down into your pussy as well. 

Joel tucked himself back into his pants, without clasping his jeans, and he rubbed a hand up and down your thigh soothingly. You were trying to catch your breath as Joel separated your underwear from where it was tangled with your yoga pants around your ankle. You lifted your head and watched as he used your underwear to wipe away the cum now drying on your skin. 

“C’mon, baby girl.” He tucked your panties, now a damp mess of your spend and his, into his flannel pocket and helped you slide your legs back into the yoga pants. When they were back in place, he pulled you to stand and grinned when your knees nearly buckled. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” You chuckled and clung to his shoulders. “That was… a lot.”

That had felt incredible, and the fact that it was Joel made it even better. But, it had been rougher than you thought it’d be. Not that you really minded. It just… caught you off guard. Your mind was still too drunk on pleasure to fully understand your feelings on it.

Joel leaned in to settle his lips against your temple. He hummed, “From the second I saw you, baby girl, I just knew you’d be my world.”

“The first second?” You teased. “Me bleeding in an upside down car?”

His lips were curled up into a smile you could only describe as boyish. Joel leaned in again to lock his lips with yours and you wrapped your arms around his neck to help hold yourself up.

The world had ended, but you had a new world now and everything would be just fine.

Right?

BEFORE

Joel stood at the gas pump staring at his phone as his truck was filled. His strange client, the survivalist who asked him to help build a bunker, had shot him a message that made little to no sense. He rambled about the “end of the world”, and invited Joel to join him in the bunker for the “start of something new”. Joel tossed his phone back into his truck with full plans to ignore it. He’d drive to the bar and spend the night drinking. It’d be nothing new. He was a regular at this point.

As he climbed into the driver’s seat his gaze lifted and he spotted you exiting a store across the street.

You from three days ago. You who he met at his usual drinking hole. You who had left him breathless. Joel had been drinking alone, the usual, when you and your friends drifted into the bar as an already half drunk mob. One of your guy friends had gotten rowdy near him, joking with another, and he bumped into Joel and spilled his entire whiskey.

Before he could even begin to lose his temper, you had swept in to save the day. It was obvious you were drunk yourself, but you cleaned him up, apologized for your friends, bought him a new drink, and just sat there and talked. You rambled about being in town to visit your family and catching up with old friends, and Joel found he could listen to you all day.

There was something magnetic about you.

Enough so, that he found himself following you down the road. You were driving toward the edge of town. Maybe to meet with friends at that new bar and drink some more. The roads grew less crowded as you got further out, and Joel thought about following you into the bar. Just to talk. It had been so long since he craved conversation of any kind. He realized though that you probably wouldn’t want anything to do with him. You were young and beautiful and clever. A ray of sunshine. Your options for company were endless and Joel couldn’t imagine being anywhere but at the bottom of that list. Drunk you had put up with him, but sober you probably wouldn’t spare him a glance.

Joel’s eyes darted to the passenger seat where his phone sat. A second passed, and a decision was made. He flashed his lights and laid on his horn. Your car slowed cautiously and he began to speed past you. He looked out his passenger window and the last thing he saw was your wide, confused and fearful eyes before he swerved into you.

He slammed on the breaks and watched your car flip a few times before coming to a stop at the edge of a ditch. Smoke billowed from the broken remains of your vehicle and Joel stared wide eyed at what he had just done. Guilt gnawed at him and he scrambled out of his truck to race to the driver’s side of the wreckage. You were hanging upside down from your seatbelt and blood dripped from a gash along your temple. A bruise was already forming at your hairline. But you were alive. Thank God. He hadn't even considered how wrong that could've gone. It seemed the universe was on his side for this.

Joel knew what he had done was wrong, but it was too late to go back.

He had made the decision⏤ your world ended and he’d be the one to build you something new.

[if you're curious the Ezra I mention is the Pedro Pascal character from Prospect (he just screams cult leader, doesn't he?) and i lowkey maybe have plans for a follow up on this but from the POV of a different reader and Ezra]

[milla-frenchy]

Fav Joel Miller fics

HUGE thank you, again, to all the authors who offer us fics

All of them are 18+ and nsfw

Several of them have dom! or dark!Joel, dirty talk, jealousy, possessiveness, choking, spanking, spitting... warnings

Some of them have SA, dubcon or noncon... warnings

A few of them have threesome, sharing... warnings

If any of this makes you unconfortable, do not pursue

Please check for each fic all the warnings indicated by the author

Possessive/Jealous/Brat tam!Joel/Dom!Joel/Dark!Joel

Control @pascalisbaby

Bad mood @javiscigarette

Fixed on your hand of gold @javiscigarette

Well, are you mine ? @psychedelic-ink

Perfectly wrong @psychedelic-ink

Taking mine @swiftispunk

Carnal @pascalsbby

Push and pull @javiscigarette

I'm going to ruin you @thetriumphantpanda

Cinnamon girl @girlboybug

Tis’ But a Scratch @strang3lov3

A day in the filfh @toxicanonymity

Bad fun @javiscigarette

Pathetic @chloeangelic

Look at me @pascalisbaby | Part 2 : Give me some

Gimme what i want @atticrissfinch | Part 2 : Ruined

Who do you belong to, Mr Miller ? @tightjeansjavi

Dbf

Dbf!Joel series @jrrmint

Feels so right @fake-bleach

I can be your pretty girl @walkintotheriveranddisappear | Part 2 : Good girls take every inch

Sex worker/Phone sex/Sex chat

Ravish @psychedelic-ink

Hot single dilfs in your area want to chat! @walkintotheriveranddisappear | Part 2 : Need to get off? call this number now! | Part 3 : Meet up with local singles desperate to fuck! | Bonus : (jealous) girls, girls, girls

Desire @toxic-seduction | Part 2 : Crave

I know it when i see it @bageldaddy

Honey don't feed it, it will come back @morning-star-joy

Threesome/Sharing/Anal

Tommy's hard day @toxicanonymity (and Tommy)

Beyond infatuation @joelscruff (and Tommy)

Catalyst @ezrasbirdie (and Frankie)

Flesh without blood @thewordypeach (and Tommy) | Part 2 : Forbidden fruit

Craving @velvetmud

Light @slow-motionlovepotion (and Tess)

Sharing is caring @inlovewithquestionablecharacters (and Tommy)

Trial & error @thetriumphantpanda (and Tommy)

Mine @the-scandalorian

Good girl @mrsnegan (and Negan)

Noncon/Dubcon/Violence/SA/Knife play/Drug use

Raider @toxicanonymity

Mad love @swiftispunk

What i need @swiftispunk

Lost in the darkness @softlyspector

I've got you @atinylittlepain

Choke on it @djarin-dreams

Strangers @toxic-seduction

Just a game @palioom

A hungry dog with a very short leash @iamasaddie

Lesson @mannaima

Night walks @toxicanonymity

The way we fight @cupofjoel

Picnic table @toxicanonymity

Dark mode @toxicanonymity

Clicking @toxicanonymity

Midnight tow @toxicanonymity | Part 2 : Midnight blow

The special one @toxicanonymity (Vampire!Joel)

Somnophilia

Sleeping beauty @toxicanonymity (noncon)

Waking up to oral @morning-star-joy

Starving @jrrmint

What you're missing @toxicanonymity (noncon)

Bail @toxicanonymity

Just smut

Whole new can of worms @hier--soir

Come clean @cupofjoel

Heatwave @gracieispunk

This one thing you did @joelscruff

Take what you need, darling, i'm just here for you @iamasaddie

Only angel @jksprincess10 (virgin!reader)

Heaven @pascalisbaby (sub!Joel)

No smut

Ghost of you @thetriumphantpanda (grief)

Gold rush @trulybetty (angst, old lovers reunited)

Fav Javi fics

Fav writers

[f1letters]

maroon | cs55

"how the hell did we lose sight of us again? sobbing with your head in your hands, ain't that the way shit always ends?"

summary: they both knew their relationship would ruin them both, but they couldn't stop themselves from running back to each other every goddamn time

warning: angst, toxic relationship, mentions of a vicious cycle of breaking up and making up, right person wrong time, suggestive language, swearing, a bunch of references to older classic rock bands and albums (and CAS because they are my fav band of all time haha), open ending

pairing: carlos sainz x reader

word count: 4.3k

note: everything in bold are song references and in italic are thoughts, which includes memories from the past.

spanish words used: hermosa = beautiful; corazón = heart

hey everybody! honestly, this song is the one I've been looking forward to writing the most since the beginning... I worked so hard and I gave everything I had in me to this story (hence the story being the longest so far, something about writing for Carlos just makes me write so much more every time, haha), I couldn't be more proud of what I did! haha, hopefully, you guys love it as much as I do! happy holidays to everyone! 💜

masterlist

When the morning came

We were cleaning incense off your vinyl shelf

'Cause we lost track of time again

Laughing with my feet in your lap

Like you were my closest friend

Dozens of voices echoed through the crowded room, engaged in different conversations and dialogues.

The crowd seemed to have a life of its own. Old friends catching up on the latest news in their lives. New friends being made unexpectedly. The sharing of the latest gossip and rumours among the most curious souls. The sound of endless, genuine laughter through the halls.

In the middle of the glowing lights, the shiny clothes and the loud music, hidden in the shadows, there she was.

Y/N had escaped the huddled bodies until she found refuge in an empty room. With the door closed, the noise of the party was now muffled, leaving the girl alone with her thoughts as she searched through a vinyl shelf she found there.

Led Zeppelin. Pink Floyd. Radiohead. The Clash. Their owner had taste, she thought, fascinated by their timeless records. The young woman also appreciated these older classic albums, although she couldn't find many people like her.

With her hands roaming over the vinyl without much care for the party happening, Y/N nearly dropped a Nirvana album on the floor when the bedroom door burst open.

"Oh." The unknown man said, stopping in his track when he came face to face with her. "Sorry, but do I know you?"

"Hmm, I don't think so." The girl frowned in doubt. Her eyes widened as she realized she was clearly breaking into someone's room. "Oh my god, is this your room? It is, isn't it? What was I thinking going in like that-"

"Hey, don't worry! It's okay! I just wasn't expecting to see anyone in here." He chuckled softly, extending his hand to the girl. "I'm Carlos, and you are...?"

"Y/N, nice to meet you!" She shook his hand back. The girl could have sworn she felt a spark run through her veins as soon as she felt his touch.

"Hmm, sorry for going through your stuff. I- I'm a huge music lover and I- Just couldn't help myself." The girl continued, half choking up, half laughing at herself, lifting the album in her hand to show Carlos what she was doing.

"I don't mind." The driver responded, approaching her and taking the vinyl from her hold. The warm skin of his hand contrasted with her cool one, letting his touch linger. "So, are you a Nevermind fan?"

"More of a Bleach girl myself." Y/N said smugly, her eyes glazing over the boy's charming figure before returning to the shelf. "You have an incredible collection. I wish I had this many records."

"How'd we end up on the floor, anyway?" you say

"Your roommate's cheap-ass screw-top rosé, that's how"

I see you every day now

Hours passed, and both lost track of time as they talked about everything and anything. 

Y/N and Carlos were instantly attracted to each other, bonded not just by their shared love of music but by a soul connection neither could explain.

It was profound in ways that were beyond physical attraction, it had to be experienced to be truly understood.

Almost like their souls knew each other from the past.

The couple stood there, only a few hours after they met, sitting on the floor of his bedroom. They laughed with her feet in his lap, with a cheap-ass screw-top bottle of rosé beside them.

It was like an enchanting enigma how much they felt like each other's closest friends, like they had been part of each other's lives forever.

A Fleetwood Mac song was playing from Carlos's red vinyl record player when the woman spoke. "Isn't it crazy that I ended up at your house party and didn't even know who you were until you walked into this room?"

The two chuckled softly as their eyes locked and the driver's hand ran along the top of her thigh. "A bit maybe." He bit his bottom lip, a little unsure and nervous. Deciding to take risks that night, he continued. "But it was totally worth sneaking in here and skipping the party just to meet you."

Y/N could feel her cheeks heat up as they flushed. The girl tucked a strand of her hair behind her ear and looked away from him to the floor.

"I don't know about you," Carlos again captured the attention of the girl beside him, approaching her little by little. "But I don't think I've ever felt this chemistry with anyone in my entire life, hermosa."

Driven by her impulsiveness and by the tension that hung in the air, the young woman made the first move and closed the space between them, letting her lips rest on his in a much-desired kiss. 

It started out soft and slow, their hearts beating faster and faster as the adrenaline grew. Y/N let her mouth open a little, and the driver took that as a sign to let his tongue swirl in her mouth. Her hands found their place among the brown locks of his wild hair, as he pulled her body towards him until she was on top of him.

Y/N was never one for one-night stands or sex on the first date, but that moment felt different for her. None of it felt sudden, ill-considered, or a mistake.

In fact, Y/N had never felt like anything was so right as pulling the Spaniard onto his bed mattress that night.

And I chose you

The one I was dancing with

In New York, no shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was

For the next six months, Y/N and Carlos were inseparable.

Their feelings for each other continued to grow stronger and stronger with every passing day. However, the two kept them secret from each other, hidden in the privacy of their own minds.

During those magical months since the night they'd met, they'd given themselves to each other, body and soul. But they both knew there was something more between them: something impossible to ignore, something special.

So special that the two feared they would ruin it by putting a title on their relationship.

They were… Friends with benefits, lovers, soulmates? All options were honest and sincere, but they were only attempts to escape the term "boyfriend and girlfriend".

Painting New York City white, snowflakes fell from the skies while shimmering under the lights like jewels bestowed by winter.

The couple could already see their destination, such was the way the girl's maroon apartment building stood out among the snow-covered sidewalks.

Carlos hugged her waist from behind, squeezing the girl's body and picking her up off the ground.

"Carlos, stop! You're going to drop me, you idiot!" Y/N squealed playfully, being immediately put down again in front of her door.

The driver placed a tender kiss on her forehead and then adjusted the black beanie that covered the top of her head. "I would never let you fall, corazón."

Except I already fell for you, she thought to herself, making her heart ache.

The two hurriedly climbed the building's stairs, eager to return to the warmth of her home. They had barely passed the front door when the two started taking off their cold and damp shoes in search of some relief from the discomfort in their feet.

The Cigarettes After Sex album that they were listening to before leaving her living room continued to echo through the walls of the apartment. Immediately, Carlos grabbed her hand and pulled her towards him, wrapping her shoulders with his arms as he started to sway their connected bodies gently to the music.

"What are you doing?" Y/N asked, caught off guard by the driver's movements.

"What do you think I'm doing?" Carlos asked playfully, running his hand through the young woman's long hair. "I'm dancing with you to your favourite band."

Just when she thought it wasn't possible for her feelings to grow any further, Carlos seemed to challenge her, proving her wrong all over again. Her heart could explode at any second with how much love for the Spaniard she kept in it.

"Carlos?" She asked in a whisper.

"Yes, hermosa?" He replied in the same tone.

"I'm so glad I chose you."

In the end, what mattered to them was seizing the moment before it was over, being happy with each other before the inevitable end came.

Both Y/N and Carlos couldn't help sensing that they were doomed to end sooner or later.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was

Eventually, the first signs of the end of their honeymoon phase began to appear.

Their flaws seemed more noticeable, their patience thinner, and their problems more difficult to solve.

All of a sudden, the illusion that their relationship was perfect started to fade with time.

The two began to see themselves as opponents with their backs turned to each other instead of the hopelessly in love souls they were in the beginning.

On a random spring night, the two were getting ready for another one of their dates, in the privacy of his house, like they did so many times before.

The two naturally assumed their tasks without much dialogue at this point: Y/N was leaning over the stove as she finished cooking dinner for them, while Carlos was in the dining room setting the table.

After completing what he had to do, the driver went to the kitchen in search of a wine to serve with the pasta that his lover was preparing. He opened the pantry and took out his favourite red wine from one of the bottom shelves.

Carlos walked to one of the drawers, removing his corkscrew from it, and opened the bottle without knowing that Y/N was moving dangerously close to him. 

By accident, his sudden movement caused the bottle to splash onto the once-white t-shirt the young woman wore, now leaving a huge burgundy mark on it.

"Are you fucking serious?" Y/N complained, disgusted with the state of her outfit. "This t-shirt is new, Carlos. For fuck's sake, this stain is never coming off."

"Calm down, it's not like someone died. It's just a fucking t-shirt, Y/N." Carlos replied, in the same aggressive tone. "I'll buy you a new one. Don't let this night be ruined for something so small."

"You'll buy it?! You always think that your money solves everything, don't you?" The girl spat, starting her way to her room to change her clothes. "I just wish you would be careful for once in your life and not be so fucking clumsy."

"It's a piece of fabric, oh my God." Carlos followed her, not ready to give up. "Get over it!"

"You know what? Enjoy your dinner alone. I'm out of here."

And so their new routine began: they argued, they fucked, they made up, they repeated.

The rooms they'd once set on fire with their burning, sizzling passion were now left in ashes, burned by the flame that brought them back to each other's arms, time after time.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

Fight after fight, the two kept finding their way to each other every single time, like two individuals relapsing on their favourite addiction.

The young woman had been dragged by the Spaniard to another one of his races, though as a very discreet and unknown guest.

Nobody knew her in that world, not even his closest colleagues, and Y/N couldn't help but feel hurt by all of Carlos' secrecy.

Okay, they weren't together-together, but the fact that she wasn't even mentioned to his best friends still seemed like a red flag to her.

Y/N had managed to escape to his room without anyone noticing, coming face to face with the shirtless figure with his back to her.

"Hey, handsome." The girl approached him, placing her hands on his chest as she leaned against his naked back.

"Corazón, you are here." The driver turned towards her, placing a kiss on her lips and down along the side of her neck. "I missed you so much. These weeks without you have driven me crazy."

"Hmm... Were you missing me or having me?" Y/N questioned, trying to pretend to be unaffected by the way his mouth sucked on her collarbone so sensually.

The boy turned his eyes to her gaze and cupped her face gently in his hands. "You, hermosa. You."

Their moment was interrupted by a member of Ferrari knocking on the door, warning Carlos that he would have to prepare for the driver's parade. Both of them slipped from his room and the motorhome, coming across two other drivers she recognized from watching other races.

"Well, well, well," Lando announced, messing with Carlos and his mystery companion. "What do we have here? Sainz, you don't even introduce your 'friend' here to your boys"

"Pfff, friend." The Spaniard's teammate, Charles, replied, also joking. "At least her fresh hickey tells me otherwise."

The girl immediately looked down at the neckline of her shirt, where she noticed the love bite near her neck.

And when her gaze rested on her lover's annoyed face, she realized how unhappy he was that they got caught.

When the silence came

We were shaking, blind and hazy

How the hell did we lose sight of us again?

Sobbing with your head in your hands

Ain't that the way shit always ends?

"Since this muppet here doesn't want to introduce us, I'll do the honours. I'm Lando, this is Charles." The McLaren driver said, pointing to his Ferrari friend, followed by his outstretched hand towards the girl.

"Nice to meet you both, I'm Y/N." She greeted the British, and then the Monegasque.

"So why are you hiding your beautiful girlfriend from us, Sainz?" Charles asked curiously.

"She's not my girlfriend, I have to go." Carlos replied, turning away and leaving behind two shocked friends, a hurt girl and her heart broken into little pieces.

After hearing a thousand apologies from the two nice guys for meddling in matters that weren't theirs, Y/N decided to walk to the exit of the circuit and skip the race altogether.

Hours passed and only silence came to her hotel room, with no sign of Carlos.

The girl sat on the floor, back against the bed covered with a maroon duvet, shaking, blind and hazy, until he eventually appeared.

How the hell did we lose sight of us again, she thought to herself over and over again.

The driver entered the room, shoulders slumped in regret, expecting to find an upset Y/N he had to apologize to.

Never did he expect to find the girl he loved sobbing with her head in her hands.

Carlos knelt down in front of the young woman, placing his hands on her knees, which provoked her to look at him with eyes smudged with mascara.

"Sorry, hermosa." The boy apologized, letting his forehead rest against her knee.

"Sorry for what, Carlos?" Y/N asked, determined to get the truth out of him.

"I shouldn't have turned away and left you alone with Lando and Charles." The Spaniard confessed. "I understand that you didn't see the race, but it's done now, you don't need to be like that..."

"The discussion is over, yes." The girl spoke, getting up from the floor and looking at the image of him still kneeling. "But us, this, whatever it is, that is over too."

"Stop, Y/N!" The driver also got to his feet, trying to stop her from leaving. "This is just another argument. We always come back to each other, that's the way shit always ends."

The woman released her wrist from his hold, opened the door and glanced at him over her shoulder before walking away.

"Not this time."

You were standing hollow-eyed in the hallway

Carnations you had thought were roses, that's us

I feel you, no matter what

The rubies that I gave up

A day passed. Then two days. Three days.

On the fourth day, the doorbell to her New York apartment rang and her heart just knew that he was going to be the person behind the door.

Y/N opened the entrance to her house and there he was as expected: Carlos, standing there, hollow-eyed in the hallway, flowers in hand.

"Before you interrupt me, I beg you: please, listen to what I have to say. Then you can send me away if you want and I'll go." Carlos begged her, his hands gripping the red flowers more tightly. "I love you. I'm sorry I came to that conclusion so late but I do, I love you. So much my chest hurts whenever I'm not with you. And I know I've been an asshole to you, especially on this last race, and I know I don't deserve you but I'm not ready to give up on you, on us."

The young woman remained silent, listening to the words she'd been waiting to hear all these months.

But they were too late.

"These roses are for you, corazón. I know they are your favourite flowers." The driver held the flowers out to her.

"Carnations," Y/N replied, leaving the Spaniard more confused than ever. "These are carnations, not roses."

The two kept their eyes together until a tear ran down the girl's eyes. And both of them knew.

"I'm sorry, Carlos, but you should leave." Y/N sobbed. "I loved you all this time but I had enough."

And I lost you

The one I was dancing with

In New York, no shoes

Looked up at the sky and it was

Maroon

It took six months for them to end their perfect, magical honeymoon phase. 

Followed by another six months of endless fighting and pain inflicted on each other.

Perhaps in some poetic way, six months passed from Y/N losing him until they saw each other again.

Nothing hurt more than being away from the one person she loved more than anyone. Especially when she knew the passion and the love between them were still there.

She couldn't help feeling that they were two cursed souls destined to suffer for their love.

Without Carlos, even music seemed to sound different. 

Since the day she saw the boy walk out the door, her vinyl had remained exactly in the same place, gathering dust, as she didn't have the courage to listen to them again without being consumed by memories of them.

Trapped in her thoughts on yet another sleepless night, Y/N looked up at the sky and thought to herself: I can't die from a broken heart, but I can't help but feel like a part of me did that day.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was

Maroon

Tired of brooding over the excruciating time away from the driver, Y/N relented and agreed to leave the comfort of her home to go to a party for the first time in a long time.

Dressed to the nines, the girl found herself in a crowd in the middle of an unfamiliar house.

It was the same as always: old friends, new friends, gossip, rumours, laughter, shining lights, loud music.

The young woman simply couldn't enjoy that life as she did before. All she wanted was to go home, lay under the covers, with the fire burning on her fireplace... But the memories that place held of him began to feel like they were too much for her to bear.

Alcohol in her hand, as usual, Y/N escaped the noise to a random room in the house, much like the night she met Carlos. 

This time, the girl found herself in the middle of a guest room, with nothing more than a bed and some basic furniture, where she sat enjoying a sweet drink.

Mirroring that night even further, Y/N was stunned when the white bedroom door opened to let in the tanned, handsome boy who was consuming her head.

"Oh," Carlos said, unable to contain his feelings when he saw the woman again after so long. "Hey, I- I was just looking for the bathroom. I- I'm going to go."

"No, wait!" Unconsciously, Y/N stood up, grabbing the driver's wrist without giving it much thought until she felt the blood rush into her cheeks. "Sorry, I don't know what I'm doing. I just- I don't know... I miss you."

The Spaniard let her words sink in, all emotions on the surface. "Y/N... Please, don't do this. I don't know if I can survive another heartbreak."

"You're right, I'm sorry. Forget this ever happened." Y/N got ready to walk out the door until it was the boy's turn to grab her arm.

Carlos pulled her towards him, grabbing her face with both hands and pulling her into a so-desired kiss filled with longing, pain, and lust.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

His lips brushed hers, allowing him to inhale her breath and feel the warmth of her mouth, until he let his lips mash against hers in a rough, heated kiss.

She opened her mouth quickly, pushing her tongue past his teeth and meeting him in an electric and passionate battle. 

Both lay on the bed, her straddling his body like she did a million other times, her lips still glued to the ones she used to call home.

They both pull away, panting with their gazes focused on each other almost as if they were afraid the moment would suddenly be over.

"I still love you, hermosa." Carlos confessed, letting the words slip out. "There wasn't a day that I didn't think of you, or that I didn't want your body next to mine just like this."

For one more night, Y/N gave in to her most intimate desires and allowed herself to enjoy the feeling of belonging in the arms of the man she loved again, as she removed her dress and her lips returned to where they belonged - his.

And I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fucking legacy, legacy

And I wake with your memory over me

That's a real fucking legacy to leave

Such was the girl's amazement when hours later she woke up in the same bed, alone with only his memory over her.

The wrinkled sheets on the right side of the mattress were the only sign that the driver had been in that room the night before. 

Not a note, a discarded piece of clothing, a stray hair.

Just crumpled linens and the marks of his love smeared across her soft skin.

Once again, Y/N was left with only her regrets and her sorrows for being so weak and so naive to think this time would be different.

That was the legacy he left every time: his touch on her remained, as did his absence.

The burgundy on my t-shirt

When you splashed your wine into me

And how the blood rushed into my cheeks

So scarlet, it was maroon

Back at home, the girl went straight to her room, wanting nothing more than to get out of her dirty clothes from the night before. 

Her hands started their work of removing the dress, until she stopped in her tracks, naked in front of her bathroom mirror, when she saw the marks left by Carlos all over her for the first time.

She swallowed hard, trying to hold back the tears that threatened to fall, as she stepped into the shower.

The hot water ran through her hair, over her shoulders, and down her back, until loneliness overcame her and her eyes wept and wept away all the hurt she felt.

How could I have been stupid enough to fall again, she wondered.

After a few minutes of crying and showering, Y/N left the bathroom, towel wrapped around her body, and went to her dresser in search of an old t-shirt to wear.

Among the dozens of her neutral shirts, one stood out. It was scarlet, and it was his.

Without thinking twice, she grabbed the t-shirt and draped it over her body, ready to give in to the sadness. Her arms hugged her own torso, seeking physical comfort in a place where she was the only person left.

Or so she thought until she heard the familiar doorbell ring later that night.

The mark they saw on my collarbone

The rust that grew between telephones

The lips I used to call home

So scarlet, it was maroon

The only light on the dark street that night was the street light that lit up the star-crossed lovers ever so slightly.

There he was, standing outside of the door of her maroon building, red roses in hand this time, face pleading for forgiveness. 

Although their lives might not have fit together, they were just two broken souls who had found solace in each other's hearts, unwilling to give up on the greatest love they had ever known.

And just like that, pulled back into their vicious cycle, all she had consuming her mind was him all over again.

"Hey, corazón."

It was maroon

It was maroon

taglist: @dan3avocado @starxqt @roseinnej @spiidergirlsworld @ccloaned @hotpigeon22 @dr3lover @lovelytsunoda @primadonnasdream @luxebeautystyle @wallfloweriism @ilivefortheleague @gwynethhberdara @satellitelh @adavenus @audreyscodes @wifeoflucyboynton @th6ccnsp6cyy @classifiedsblog @flyingmushroomss @motylekrozi @claramllera @gabrielamaex @handsupforamiracle @pierre-gasssllyy @lorenaloveslewis

@idkiwantchocolatee @simpforsunwoo @kissatelier @xweirdxsceletton @micksmidnights @miniminescapist @inchidentwithmax @hopelesslyromantics-world @alwaysclassyeagle @indieclarke @capela-miranda @okokoksblog @pulpfixion @sins-only33 @sainzclerc @allisonxf1 @honethatty12

@amsofftrack @scuderiamh @junkiespromise @loudoperahumanoidpanda @honeyric3 @holy-macncheese-balls @ricciardosheart @pierreverstapkin @ravenqueen27 @majkaftorek @home-of-disaster @buendiabebeta @itgirlofnowhere @roses-of-eden @thewintersunset @rubychocolatechips

(taglist continues in the comments)

thank you to everyone that asked to be tagged! please let me know if you want to be added to the next stories! 💌

[shiroxichigo]

Hi there! I am new to the ShiroIchigo fandom and I desperately want to read some good fanfiction. There doesn’t seem to be a lot though and searching through ao3 and ffnet is PAINFUL when you don’t know where to start. Do you have any all time best recommendations for me to chew on or could you point me to someone that might know? Pretty please?

I'm definitely gonna have to make a more comprehensive list once I'm at my computer for you, anon! I also have another ask similar to this one that I've been working on, but I haven't had time to comb through all my old favourites as well as the new ones I've been reading on AO3.

I'll link some of the fics that originally got me hooked on the ship! And I'll also expose my favourites list so you can scroll through there on ffnet. Just keep in mind I haven't been on ffnet in like 6 years maybe?

Angeli Sanguis I - Primordium by YueShirosaki (There are multiple more parts to this one.)

HollowIchigo-Ichigo is an author with a variety of fics you can give a try! I don't think they write for Bleach anymore, though, so beware some fics may not be finished...

Unknown Dangerous Desires by murder-ink (a story that really got me to think differently about their dynamic, also unfinished though I believe, so sorry!)

Cat Burglars by Caridwen Angetueur (20k, short n sweet, but it is complete if I recall correctly!)

Feeling Hollow by Daricio (gonna be honest, I can't remember if this one was romantic or platonic, but either way, it really got me inspired to actually write ShiroIchi)

The Sinister Pride Of Perfection by ChocolateCarnival (one of my all time favourites!!)

So there's just a few. Please read the summaries and view the ratings before deciding if you're going to read any of them or not!

ALSO: I plan to make a master list of fic recommendations someday (when I have time). I'm sorry it's been taking me so long to get it, life has been absolute chaos for me.

Hopefully these can help get you started!

And, as promised, here's my favs list on ffnet: https://m.fanfiction.net/u/2986615/MidnightEden234

I am exposing myself for y'all to see 😭

Hope this helps!!

[nessieartss]

i am new to your au sukuna so i got two questions!

what anime does your au sukuna like?!

i can see him absolutely enjoying one piece or devil man bonus: he tricked yuji into believing berserk is a shoujo anime and cosplayed as shanks with yuji as luffy claiming yuji was begging to do this cosplay but actually it was sukuna who just plopped down two bags on bed and told his brother to dress up as luffy

also does sukuna like the character grimmjow?

because in canon sukuna and grimmjow are pretty familiar characters and share same VA

so i can see yuji and his friends saying how much he behaves like grimmjow

Hi! I hc that sukuna doesn't really watch anime because "oh it's for kids" but i think he watched those old japanese animations (like perfect blue)

Sukuna liked berserk tho. I guess yuuji was the one that introduced him to berserk (he hasnt watched it himself but he heard that it was good so why not tell his bro about that)

Ooh okay but now im imagining what would happen if sukuna and grimmjow met, because they almost have the same personality (not to mention they're both my fav). Sadly sukuna doesnt watch bleach tho :(( yuuji is the one that points out, "you see that blue haired guy? Reminds me so much of you."

"You're saying that i am a furry?"

"What? No."

[beanghostprincess]

Usopp and Nami being synced up. Nami is more irritated and quick(er) to anger. while usopp is more emotional and low mood his negative personality really shines through during his time of the month.

Nami would usually spend time with Robin she's the only one on the ship she can tolerate at that time. She would steal one of the guys shirts to wear she's not in the mood to put an outfit together or wear something revealing. She took Franky's old Hawaiian shirt. it has drinks and cocktails all over it everyone calls it the bloody Mary shirt because when she wears it, everyone knows she's on her period and she shouldn't be messed with.

Usopp is in bed mostly when his monthly nightmare starts. He's fatigued, bloated and doesn't feel like doing anything unless he has to. wearing an oversized shirt that Used to belong to jinbe but out of kindness it's now his (usopp accidentally bleached it during wash day and he let him keep it) He usually self isolates staying in the cabin. If he's not up by 11am they know why. He usually ignores everyone except for sanji, she (t4t of course) climbs in bed with him and holds him. Lightly rubbing circles on his abdomen humming softly. She puts on a kettle of hot tea and refills it regularly for them. She also yells at Brooke if he tries to take some. She didn't make it for him! She made it for her darling Nami and precious usopp!

They both prefer to eat by themselves Nami in her office and Usopp in his work shop. When they are together it's in the garden (sanji makes him go outside for some sunlight and fresh air can't stay in bed all day) and they usually don't talk to each other they just sit together stuffing in solidarity. You'd think they share products but they don't Nami wears cups it's the most convenient while usopp sticks to pads only. Nami tried to convince him to use tampons at least but he just doesn't like them. When they have to fight they're always checking each other for leaks and will give each other pain killers if they run out. Nami is very open about her period she never had a problem discussing and all the guys on the boat are comfortable with the topic. ( "Ain't no shame when it comes to mother nature"-Franky) usopp on the other hand with a mixture of dysphoria and his fist experience being bad he doesn't bring it up. He refuses to talk about it, mentions it, or acknowledges it when it's happening. He doesn't call it a disease anymore like he used to when he was little (you will still die in 7 days if it is brought up tho that still stands ) but a stomach ache.

Robin and Zoro are synced up but they're just fine. You wouldn't even know they were on their period unless you ask. While Nami and Usopp go through hell zoro and Robin are just chilling. fuck them honestly

This is extremely real and I relate to this on a personal level because I'm the worst when I go through my period. It's a mix of being extremely irritated, sad, or horny, and these two idiots are a menace when they're on that time of the month. I love the whole thing about Sanji staying with Usopp and holding him,, It's just so soft. Sanji would be the most caring lover,, This reminds me I have to finish that fic about Usopp on his period I fucking hate having to work-

And Nami is pretty much like me when I'm on my period except that my cramps are probably a lot worse, but I absolutely love her rage being multiplied because it makes so much sense. And her wearing cups is just so in character and accurate-

Btw I agree the whole crew is extremely open-minded about these things and they don't give a single fuck about them talking about this freely. It's my fav thing ever because that's just how it should always be. Everywhere. And I'm sure they'd all support each other a lot <3

The thing I don't agree on, though, is Robin. Because I'm 100% sure Zoro doesn't even know when he's on his period but I headcanon Robin as somebody with the worst period cramps ever but trying to go through it silently to not worry anybody. It'll pass eventually. But Franky is just the most caring boyfriend when it comes to this and she lets herself be more vulnerable around him. I guess I just find it sweet that she needs a bit of comfort too <3

[wri0thesley]

oughhhh natttt,,, crocodile and aizen,,, yeah. you’re so right,,, now i need to yap about aizen bc while he’s not my main bleach fav,,, he just tickles something so Right.

if we’re talking yandere, aizen is such a good candidate. because he pulls the whole “i was secretly the one orchestrating the downfall of our society” and an extensive betrayal no one (and i mean no one) saw coming. he’s introduced as this kind, gentle, and wisened guy everyone looks up to, but turns out that was all a facade because he’s actually this cold, (mostly) unfeeling dude who makes most famously manipulative characters look tame (aka the whole “everything was a part of my plan” bit). and the whole reason he does what he does (try to become a god) is because, ego aside, he thought that the old regime was rotten to its core and needed to be eradicated and reset. but then, boom boom, when he’s beaten, turns out that because of how powerful he was, he always harbored a deep-rooted lonliness and desperation for an equal, be it by making them as powerful as him or by sacrificing his own power.

but back to yandere bc i got distracted - i think aizen having a darling who is someone normal and lives among the masses (as opposed to the many flashy powerhouses) is probably the most appealling - especially since theyd likely meet while he was undercover. and i think him luring them in (whether intentionally or unintentionall) with such a kind demeanor; as someone they could admire for always knowing what to say and to believe that he’d have their best interests at heart. they virtually hand their heart to him on a silver platter and he ultimately devours it. i honestly can’t see him choosing his darling over his goals - so i see him either continuing to string them along while he plays god, even when they know who he truly is until it ultimately destroys them, but they may be able survive with a shattered heart; or, he decides to cut any potential losses early and grants them what he considers a mercy by not allowing anyone else to ever have a chance at their heart or body ever again.(if it remains canon-compliant, he and darling will inevitably be torn apart whether willingly or not - but i’ll never say no to aus,,, :3). but later, while it’s no redemption, once he’s defeated and has millenia to reflect on his actions, he begins to maybe realize his own lonliness and recognize the gaping hole in his own heart he attempted to fill with darling. but ultimately it’s too late, and whether darling survived or not, he’s left clinging to the memories of the closest thing that came to love for him like a madman as he lives out the rest of his days in perpetual darkness.

aldnsndldmsks that turned into a whole aizen character analysis through yandere, my bad. i’m so sorry if none of that made sense but he’s just so so interesting i couldnt help it fskjdnd :””

no anon i deeply appreciate the ask!!! i do not think i have the moral fibre to watch bleach because 366 episodes is a LOT for my tiny brain (see also my lack of moral fibre to watch hunter x hunter or one piece, also!) but it is ALWAYS nice to hear people talk about things they love or are passionate about or they have thoughts about! (and i will not lie that i have been persuaded to watch and read things on the strength of fellow bloggers and writing i've really enjoyed!).

"as he lives out the rest of his days in perpetual darkness" what the heck happens to this poor man fgbnkjbgfkjn

[cadaverousconsumer]

helloooo here are my beta kid headcanons! @icarusshomestuckfan do u remember that one convoersation we had about how i had no headcanons? well i do now!!!!

also im only doing the beta kids rn cause i dont wanna spoil anything for @giggleshitter0

ok chat starting with my main dude

Dave Strider hc!! dave is definitely, at the start at least, very thin but relatively lanky bc of general malnourishment from bro. however i like 2 think that he would become healthier throughout the comic and eventually become a healthy weight for his height. dave i think, if he went 2 school i think people would like him and think he was cool and wanna hang out buttt i think that he wowuld only have a couple good friends like the other beta kids buttt like his irl friends. i think dave definetly learned many domestic chores at a very young age. however i think bro would care about how dave looks, like his style and whatnot, but it would be strictly mandated by bro, with lil room for dave to express himself differently from bro. i think that dave is biracial bc i think roxy is black n dirk is pale asf in a white way.

kk now for our unoffical main character the nicest sigmaest guy john!

John Egbert hc: just clariying i think june egbert iis totally cool and probably canon buttt i personally never rly thought about it b4 getting into the fandom so i have no headcanons for her so here r my headcanons for john. john definitely is on the chubbier smaller side imo. his dad does bake a lot! i think john had a pretty good upbringing and was pretty happy with his bad movies and prank obssession. at school he probably had a couple nerdy friends and tehy were all very close! i dont think he would play dnd buttt if he did i bet thats where he would meet his friends, stranger things style. john is a classic nerd and people like him bc hes so nice and very considerate. john likes basketball n has fun playing it but isnt very good. i think john is half brazilian bc i think jake is brazilian but alpha kids are for another day haha. john has definetly broken his glasses a few times tripping over things. i think hes a bit clumbsy lol.

now onto our goth queennnn rose

Rose Lalonde hc: rose definitely had a rough childhood 2 but i think her mom took more care of her then bro did even if it was only 2 play the role of motherhood for her passive aggressive tendencies. she definitely stopped doing anything (other than vacuuming lol) once rose was old enough to do it herself. i think roses hair is bleached and straightened to oblivion and when she gets older shes defintely gonna wish she hadnt done it so much when she was younger. i think at school many people would have wanted to be her friend but she prefered more solitude, for wizard fanfics and eldritch god study. i think rose is shorter and curvier, (i def like the idea of her being shorter than kan) and a bit darker than dave. she started her intensive makeup routine in the hopes of attracting her mothers attention negatively, but with no luck. however she kept up with it because she found she liked the repetitivness of putting it on each morning, as well as the fact that it fit her overall aesthetic.

now for everyones fav doggie girl, jade!

Jade Harley hc: i love jade i think she is sooo cute. jade had an interesting childhood, being raised by a god level dog. i dont think it was necessarily bad just... very different from the other kids. i imagine she was left unattended a lot, but bec would always be aware of when to teleport in 2 save her. her hair is very long and has never really been cut officially due 2 living in the woods. jade is completely homeschooled and has nevre left the island. i think jade is rather petite and pretty thin overall... i imagine dogs probably arent the best at nutrition for humans haha. even tho jade doesnt know any kids her age in person i think she probably had many online friends and spent a lot of time online, playing games, watching videos, and just messing around. i think she learned bass from a youtube video. jade is also half brazilian cause jake

well those r my shitty headcanons

[digimonloving]

What are the mods favorite non Digimon anime?

GabuMod: Mine will ALWAYS bee Inuyasha,,,, lov it, Recently tho certainly got into Demon Slayer quite hard lol

DracMod: MAN IDK I’ve watched so many anime’s in my lifetime I’m not sure I can choose a number one fav. Not to mention all the ones I still need to catch up on or start reading rewatch or— [gets bonked]…..:: ANYWAYS…. Naruto and Bleach hold special places in my heart. Some of the first anime’s I started getting in to on purpose back when I was REAL young

LopMod: I really liked Sailor Moon when I was younger, I was big dragonball fan too. I really liked the old Pokemon anime too, before they retired Ash. That and I really like slice of life stuff too, anything that's cute. Right now I'm trying to finish watching Ojamajo Doremi, I'm on the last season.

[dejwrldarchived]

big three:

one piece worst character designs but best story/character development n world building

bleach kinda under developed, the characters are fleshed out in a diff way like best designs n powers but thats bc of kubo illness i suppose they dont get utilised in a good way like look at the arrancars 😭😭 just tossed to the side. also ichigo just nerfing everybody is annoying like ur telling me the soul society who are these ancient powerful beings get their ass whooped by a 15 year old who has some of rukia’s power? aurkay

naruto, ik u never really were into it but i like kishimoto’s illustrations honestly, i feel like the characters are interesting too but same issue as bleach, a lot of ppl just sorta got tossed to the side n a large focus on sasuke n naruto. and kishimoto defo the worst misogynist on this list. while oda can d!e at least his female characters have depth, naruto female characters r just cheerleaders for cawk minus tsunade but imma defend sakura from naruto fan boys every time

i have heard people say the same but i am a bleach bias and do note that kube sickness possibly got in the way of him building something great so he always will be my fav within the big three i fear 😭. i dropped one piece as soon as i found out ace got killed, then the body anatomy of the female characters (and don’t get me started on usopp) give me an ick, and then oda capping for that one mangaka that had child porn….realize one piece is not my cup of tea and that is okay 😭. it’s apart of the big three for a reason and you can’t take that title away from the big three no matter your opinions on it. i haven’t gotten into naruto though, don’t think it’s my cup of tea either tbh. but once again, its apart of the big three for a reason

[blchrsworld]

liliana’s introduction

BIO

hi! my name is liliana and i’m 17 years old. i was born and raised in texas. i’m new to tumblr and writing fanfics so bare with me. my first language is spanish but i also speak english, just not as good. sorry if my writing doesn’t meet your standards, but constructive criticism on my writing would be appreciated.

WHO I WRITE FOR

• billie eilish

• jacob elordi

• jenna ortega

• felix catton

• clarisse la rue

I’LL WRITE ABOUT

fem reader, gxg, gxb, angst, fluff, and tv/movie characters

I WON’T WRITE ABOUT…

major age gaps, inc3st, smut, and masc reader

REQUESTS INFO

if you aren’t sure about requesting a imagine, blurb, or series idea, just ask! i’ll let you know if i can make it happen! request anon or message directly!

MASTERLIST

CURRENTLY PLAYING (fav songs atm)

alma matter - bleachers

naked in manhattan- chappell roan

hublots- frank ocean

uncle ace - blood orange

sideways - frank ocean

shades of cool - lana del rey

sun bleached flies - ethel cain

your girl - lana del rey

hard times - ethel cain

xtal - aphex twin

l’oeuf - challngers soundtrack

REQUESTS ARE CLOSED FOR NOW!!!

[umber-cinders]

°´❤•.¸♥ 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓥𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓐𝓭𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮 ♥¸.•❤

🐻 fav vs. least fav trope?

🐶 your fav character to read / write about, or create for?

🐕 a sentence you read/wrote that stuck with you?

🥔fav fanfic oat?

🐿️fav fanart oat?

🐐a character you’d like to write more for, read about, or create more for?

🐌 a trope you’re embarrassed to like? (guilty pleasure)

📦 choose one genre of fanfiction, the rest have to go!

🍄‍🟫do you prefer canon or au?

🐂a trope you refuse to write abt / read abt / create for?

🥧 do you prefer one shots or multi-chaptered fics?

💼 summarize the last fic you read / wrote in one sentence.

🤎describe your perfect conditions for writing/ drawing, ect.

👜 Have you ever deleted one of your published fics / art?

🐡who / what inspired you to read / write / create?

📔how do you deal with art block / writers block?

👞do you prefer collabs or working independently?

🥠one thing you’d like to improve on in your writing / art?

🥮fav vs. least fav of your works?

🥥 wild card! ask anything. Not mine but OP can found but I wanted to ask you these! -Goblin- 🥧🐌🥔🐕📦

°´❤•.¸♥ 𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓥𝓸𝓲𝓬𝓮 𝓐𝓭𝓿𝓲𝓬𝓮 ♥¸.•❤

Hello magical goblin anon 👀💌 Since this a lot of questions I'll stick under the ✂️

🐻 fav vs. least fav trope?

♡ I don't think I have much of a favorite trope, but I do have to say my least favorite is honestly fluff. Like, I don't hate it but it is usually boring to me when the entire story is ooey gooey lovey shit. I feel like its unrealistic.

🐶 your fav character to read / write about, or create for?

♡ Currently my fave characters are M'Baku (Black Panther) and Gravik (Secret Invasion). I just think they're neat ✨

🐕 a sentence you read/wrote that stuck with you?

♡ 😭I honestly cannot think of one for this lmao I will forget entire scenes until my brain is like "hey remember that time when–"

🥔fav fanfic oat?

♡ This one is also hard because I do not have an all time favorite because so many are fun to reread for me. A lot of them are old fics too. The longer multi chapter kind that keep me hooked in

🐿️fav fanart oat?

♡ 😬Another thing I don't have a favorite of because Indecisive ✨

🐐a character you’d like to write more for, read about, or create more for?

♡ Gravik 👽 Because almost no one wrote anything (rightfully so with how disney handled Secret Invasion) but I find him fascinating. I usually write things myself when that happens

🐌 a trope you’re embarrassed to like? (guilty pleasure)

♡ Honestly cannot think of one. I'll read anything if it sounds interesting 😂No shame in my game

📦 choose one genre of fanfiction, the rest have to go!

♡ Dead Dove Do Not Eat 🕊 🪦

🍄‍🟫do you prefer canon or au?

♡ I like both but sometimes AU is better for exploring a character in different situation.

🐂a trope you refuse to write abt / read abt / create for?

♡ Considering I never really focus on tropes in a story, I can't think of one for this either.

🥧 do you prefer one shots or multi-chaptered fics?

♡ Multi Chapter Please! Oneshots are nice but I love a story to really sit down and read

💼 summarize the last fic you read / wrote in one sentence.

♡ A woman finds out her abrupt one night stand with her alien ex boyfriend gets her pregnant

🤎describe your perfect conditions for writing/ drawing, ect.

♡ Warm cup of green tea with honey and a lil bit of oatmilk, my favorite candle lit and it's nice and cool with my oversized snuggy on. Usually got some Afro-Lofi going in the background too lol (lmao this sounds kinda romantic)

👜 Have you ever deleted one of your published fics / art?

♡ Art—yes, Fics—no. I only deleted some art cause it was for someone who turned out not to be an actual friend

🐡who / what inspired you to read / write / create?

♡ I started both writing and drawing because of anime. When I was a kid, anime like Inuyasha, Naruto and Bleach were shows I loved to write and draw for/about. I need to get back into Bleach...

📔how do you deal with art block / writers block?

♡ I stop and work on a different story all together. OR I just stop trying to force myself to continue until my brain has had time to recover. Writing is fun for me and I only wanna write something I'd actually read.

👞do you prefer collabs or working independently?

♡ I've never done a collab with anyone before. I don't know how that works tbh but I'm not opposed to it.

🥠one thing you’d like to improve on in your writing / art?

♡ For art, lmao EVERYTHING On writing 🤔I'm not sure.

🥮fav vs. least fav of your works?

♡ My favorite work so far has been Winter Moon and I think my least favorite is Incubus. Not because its not good but because I always have trouble writing a story centered around two canon characters.

Thank you for asking anon. Gave my brain a workout😄💖✨

[aria-ashryver]

[excerpt] CH 17 - In Bloom; A Respite

sharing an excerpt from Starlight's CH17 for 🌸Self Love Day! 🌸 (I was going to share an excerpt from CH21 (Gabe's bday fluff) bc that's my comfort chapter, but I just wanted to share the whole thing and then it wouldn't be an excerpt any more aklasjsdk).

The moment it finally dawns on Cas that he is in love with Luca includes what might be one of my top 10 fav lines from this fic:

"Cas's destruction was absolute and beautiful."

I'm really proud of this story. Seeing Cas and Gabriel and Luca grow in their love for each other fills me with a truly precious kind of joy, and it deeply humbles me any time someone reads my writing. I hope it might bring you guys some joy too 💕

(Warnings for language!)

Luca yelled something in grumpy Scottish Gaelic from where he lay on the bed.

Cas smirked. He didn’t know what the words were, exactly, but he’d spent enough time with New Kid to know when he was swearing a blue streak.

‘You’re such a tease!’

‘I said I was doing my hair!’ Cas laughed, wanting to roll around in their banter like a cat in warm sunlight.

How long had it been since he’d thought about living with someone? About sharing his life with someone? The casual, easy intimacy of it all? Cas found himself wondering about the way you could talk to each other about nothing, incidental things, unimportant things, and somehow those conversations were the ones that would change your life.

Somewhere between “don’t forget to pick up some milk” and “have you seen my phone charger?” was I miss you when you’re gone and the sound of your voice is the first thing I want to hear when I wake up in the morning.

What would it be like to wake up every day knowing Luca was there by his side?

Cas dumped lightening powder into his mixing bowl, his movements jerky with a sudden, quiet panic, because what the actual fuck? He was meant to be teasing New Kid, not… experiencing feelings.

More feelings!

Enough with the feelings!

Fucking shit balls what the hell fucking motherfuck.

Cas scowled at himself in the mirror. He uncapped a bottle of developer from the medicine cabinet —he’d done this often enough that he could eyeball the measurements by now— and began to mix up the bleach.

Fortunately, by way of some furious mixing, Cas had succeeded in wrangling his… feelings, ew… by the time Luca kicked off their shoes and padded into the bathroom again.

You’re a fucking Venandi, Cas thought. You don’t take any shit and you’re a badass, powerful vampire. You don’t need to rely on anyone besides yourself, and you sure as shit don’t have any weaknesses!

Luca wound his arms around Cas’s waist and pressed a kiss between his shoulder blades and Cas knew he was lying to himself. That little fucker unravelled all his defences with the lightest of touches. With caressing dancer’s hands and lips made of love. Luca slipped right in and, without even trying, shattered every wall that Cas had ever built around his heart.

Cas turned in the circle of Luca’s arms. For a moment, he just looked at them. Then, dipping his head, he gently brought their mouths together. Luca’s kiss tasted of home. Cas’s destruction was absolute and beautiful.

Pulling back, this wondrous, new thing a hopeful, flickering light in his chest, he peered down at Luca, still clutching the mixing bowl in one hand, the brush in the other. He cleared his throat with a brusque cough.

‘Sit the fuck down and stop being a pain in the ass!’

Luca laughed, and the sound was starlight. They hopped up on the bathroom counter beside the sink, finding a space between the jumble of toothpaste tubes, eyeliner, and old bottles of cologne.

‘Go ahead,’ they said with a carefree wave. ‘I’ll be good. I’ll just sit here and keep you company. I like spending time with you, Cas.’

Cas wondered if it was possible to experience feelings to the point where your heart actually fucking exploded.

He was starting to think it might be.

you can find the full fic on AO3! Please note, the longfic overall has an Explicit rating and a number of tags for content and trigger warnings. It is a poly fic featuring m!Cas x m!Gabe x non-binary MC Luca 💖

Happy Self Love Day, and thank you again to @choicesfandomappreciation for your ongoing hard work in hosting (and being all-round excellent) 😊

Tagging @choicesficwriterscreations too bc why not!