#body dysmorphia is exactly fucking this

[sweetasteriaa]

Man, my sister told me about some Taylor Swift drama so I looked it up, and this isn't someone being fat phobic, this is what a fucking eating disorder or body dysmorphia looks like, get out of here with that bullshit.

[taikanyohou]

sometimes you'll just open your notes app and-

Macau gets it. Being in love and being loved looks wonderful on Vegas. Being trusted and honoured and appreciated for his dedication and diligence to his work looks befitting on Vegas.

But, Macau misses his big brother.

He shouldn't, because that's being selfish. That's asking Vegas to carve out some time and attention for him too, when Vegas already has his hands full. He's got more important things to focus on now.

So, Macau chooses to stay silent.

Or maybe it's a lesson to learn, that he isn't a child anymore. He can't keep on going to Vegas for every little thing. He can't keep on relying on Vegas.

But then, who else does he go to? Who else will love him? Who else will understand him and everything that he's gone through?

He remembers how, at school, when he was 9 years old, his class teacher gave them all a task to share with the class who their favourite superhero was. Macau said it was his big brother, Vegas. He remembers how some of the boys around him sniggered at his reply, whispering about either how lame or incorrect his answer was, but he didn't find it funny, and he wasn't ashamed, and he didn't care. Then, when he was 12, they were asked to write a parapgraph on their best friend and to read it out loud to the class. Macau wrote about his big brother, Vegas. The boys in his class still sniggered. He still didn't care. Then, at 15, they were told to improvise a speech lasting 3 minutes long only, on the most important person in their life. Macau talked about his big brother, Vegas. They still sniggered, and he still didn't care.

Now, at the brink of turning 18, if he were asked all those same questions once again, his answer to them would still remain the same.

Macau's whole life has been shaped by Vegas. He's been not just a big brother, but a parent and a best friend and a role model too. He idolises him. He owes his whole life to him.

And that means coming to terms with the fact that, just like how Vegas has devoted his whole life in raising Macau, its now time for Vegas to devote the rest of his life in him putting himself first. And for Macau, that means him needing to realise his place in it.

He's just not sure where he stands in all of this. He doesn't want to overstep and end up tainting and damaging the good Vegas has in his life now. He doesn't want Vegas to ever turn around and look at him, only to remember his past and have that weigh him down heavy. Not when Pete, Vegas' light and his future, is right there with him.

[ashesofacheron]

Happy “I’ve never felt more unwanted or alone” Friday!

Dysmorphia rearing it’s head today so bad and I feel so fucking ugly and gross. Literally wonder why nobody wants to be with me and I look like a misshapen fucking Bartlett pear. 😔

[gigglesx333]

i absolutely adore Welcome Home and even though this post might be niche I think it's worth it 🎉🎉

Wally is ABSOLUTELY an avatar of the eye. Look at that little fucker. He EATS with his EYES. He has SOME FORM of sentience or self awareness. He literally looks at you through the screen. Eye avatar that's also touched by the Spiral? Even though they counteract a bit I feel it makes sense.. False friendships, your mind is Lying to you, madness, et cetera,.

Frank is absolutely an avatar of the corruption. Look at this motherfucker and tell me he is not FASCINATED by bugs and mold and rot. He has fucking SHELVES of self written notebooks filled to the brim.

Poppy would probably be an avatar of the End or the Extinction- look at her. Stuck in her barn, afraid to even touch cooking materials. Paranoia driving her to the Lonely, maybe??

Julie. Julie is wholeheartedly, probably not an avatar. I cannot think of anything I'd classify her as. Same with Howdy, I don't think he'd be an avatar of anything except maybe Corruption? Because he's a bug.

Eddie. Eddie you are ABSOLUTELY a surviving victim of the Stranger. Never getting the name of the unknown place he came from right, not talking much about his mother despite clearly looking up to her or having an otherwise positive relationship due to his profession and disposition? TEEEXTBOOK I Left and Came Back Wrong.

Barnaby. I adore Barnaby.,,., I feel like he wouldn't be an avatar exactly but definitely affiliated with Something. Maybe the flesh? The animalistic dread that you are only electrified meat, manifesting as bones, meat, animals, slaughterhouses? Fear of body horror, dysmorphia, being eaten or killed for meat? There are things insinuating he was killed (a patch in Wally's chair with his pattern, etc) so maybe.,

Sally!! Sally is is very Likely an avatar of the Vast in my opinion. Look at her introduction; it speaks for itself. "Sally had once been the brightest star in the sky, even more than those that surrounded her. However, upon looking down at a nearby celestial body from her spot, she knew there were still places she had yet to truly shine and fell from above as a shooting star. She has seemingly accomplished her aspired stardom, as there are only nine visible neighbors in Home, all of whom know her." Though that may be too surface level? I'm writing this slightly inebriated. Oops.

House.. House is wholeheartedly an avatar of the Web or Slaughter.. maybe both? Lots of calculated violence and secrets hidden below it.. Not sure, thougg.

[mj3llyfish]

Fallen angel!Adam x Moth healer!Reader

Chapter 2: Consolation

(Ch.1) (Ch.2)

Warnings: Swearing, nightmares, more angst, mentions of genitalia, a bit of body dysmorphia

A/n: Tysm for the support on the first fic <33 again I’m new to this writing stuff so pls send feedback if you have any 🫶🏽 Also for this fic I added a bit more focus on Adam as a character because i absolutely HATED how 2 demential they made him in the show 😭

Adam’s dream pov:

Im back..

Back at the garden.

Lillith ran away a few days ago because of what I proposed to her.

When I found her she was with someone else.. the fucking clown

Why him?

Why not me?

Why not me?

What’s wrong with me-?!

3rd pov:

While Adam’s nightmare, about the fateful day he saw Lilith with Lucifer, he hears distant humming in the background. Beautiful humming, mixed with the sound of running water too.

He begins to open his eyes, however it was a challenge for him to do so, because of the hardened crust that formed due to his unwiped tears from last night. He turns his head towards the humming, causing him to groan.

You then stop humming, hearing his groans from afar. “Oh! You’re awake” you say in a happy tone, grabbing a bowl and filling it up with water, along with a cloth. You then walk towards him, sitting on an armchair that was next to the couch that he had been resting on.

Adam tries to get a better look at you by raising his head a bit towards you, but is barely able to do so because of the crust around his eyes blurring his vision. “Are you.. Am I..?” He asks in a low voice, interrupted by a cough.

That’s when it hit you, he’s a new soul. Your warm smile then fades into a worried frown. “Sigh, I’m sorry. But, you’ve passed, you’re in hell now.” You then grab the wash cloth, dipping it in the cold water and placing it on his head. “Just relax, please”

Adam sighs after them, then sitting up on the couch while holding the cloth against his head. “Whyd you take me?” He asks. “You want some dick or something..”

Your eyes slightly widen, out of all the assumptions he could’ve made you didn’t expect it to be that. “What? No I helped you because you looked like you needed help, and you didn’t seem to want to aggressively assault me. That can be difficult to find down here.”

He snarls at you, then standing up from the chair weakly. “Where’s the bathroom? I need to take a wicked hot piss right now” He yawns stretching.

“Down the hall to the left” You say pointing to the hallway. “I can show you if you’d like” You suggest standing from your chair.

“Fuck you, you think I can’t find the shit room by myself?” He snaps, getting defensive because of his fever.

“It’s possible” you admit, as well as intending to messing with him. “But go ahead, I’ll make you something to eat while you’re at it, you must be starving.”

As he stomps to the bathroom he mutters insults under his breath. “Hippie bitch, I can go piss by myself, you wanna hold my dick up for me too motherfucking whore-?”

As he enters the bathroom. He gasps quietly, noticing that big parts of his appearance have changed. He now has big horns, that look exactly like the ones that were on his extermination mask, except one was missing its pointy part entirely. His skin now a reddish grey, as well as his hair but much darker. He spreads his wings a bit, expecting to see his normally feathery wings, but they’ve now turned into dragon like wings.

He sneers at the sight of it, he’s now turned into the thing that he’s hated most. A sinner. An embodiment of the wicked and cruelest parts of humanity.

“Fuck..”

Y/n’s pov:

I continue to make the stranger something to eat, I don’t have much since I haven’t gotten groceries yet, so I’m just serving him some left overs. It always hurts seeing someone get hurt from the extermination, especially when I know I can do much, most people who I want to help after an extermination simply lash out on me, worst than what the stranger had just done now. So I’m getting a little hope.

Sure he’s being quite rude right now, but who wouldn’t be after what he’s been through. He’s probably a new soul, who just fell into an extermination. I can only imagine the relief he’s gonna feel when he finds out hell isn’t always like how he first saw it.

I hear the toilet flush, along with the door opening indicating that he finished his little trip. He goes to sit at the small dinner table next to the kitchen, and I notice that his hands are dry, too dry.

“You’re not gonna wash your hands?” I ask kinda weirded out.

“Umm, and why would I need to wash my hands? My dick is clean enough.” I roll my eyes at his response. “Anyways what’s your name babe?” He asks.

I then become surprised on how much pride he has, to call a stranger who had showed them great kindness and belittle them with such a name “Im sorry, but I am not your ‘babe’” I respond in air quotes. “Secondly my name is y/n, so there is no need for these immature nicknames.”

Adam takes notice of the name, “y/n? Oof, I dated a y/n before. She was so bitchy, maybe all y/ns are” he says in a cocky voice.

“Huh, well I’d love to hear about her sometime I guess.” I then place the plate of pasta to him. “It’s not much but it’s all I have, apologies” I say sitting on the dinner table with him. He then starts to absolutely devour it as if he hadn’t eaten for a month.

I laugh in slight amusement. “what happened? Did you die of hunger or something?” I ask jokingly, unaware of what my gesture of humor would to do him.

He pauses, looking down at the plate of food, his face seems saddened but not wanting to show it. I immediately begin to regret asking such a question.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have mentioned it. It’s okay if you don’t want to talk about it” I say in a worried tone. “I was born here so I wouldn’t know how bad it would feel, to die then enter a place like this. Please, forgive me.” I then place my hand on top of his free one, attempting to comfort him in a way. “So, what’s your name? I’ve been wondering what it is since I brought you here.” I ask trying to distract him from his sadness.

“My name? shit uhh,,, itss Adam.” He seemed a bit scared to ask me, not sure why. Adam seems like a pretty normal name for someone like him.

“It must’ve been scary huh? Falling into an extermination like that, angels come here every once a year to kill us,, it’s horrible.” I explain. “It’s okay, this place isn’t all bad, every now and then you find some nice people. Although they are hard to find.”

Adam stares as I explain a few aspects of hell, I’m glad he’s open to trying to find out how things work around here instead of immediately going on a killing spree like some sinners.

I really do wish that he’ll open up to me soon, and that I can open up to him. I’m not sure where this will go, I just hope that it’ll go well enough.

[euphoricfilter]

i would like to share this smut fic idea that’s been rotting my brain for days now

(cw: smut, dom! jimin, sub! reader, both wearing skirts while they fuck and a little bit of spanking, use of a dildo. mild talks of body image)🕺

likely to be titled: ‘the feminine pact’

this is half a product of a tiktok i saw and half part of the conversation that was brought up last week… maybe two weeks ago about how femininity and dominance can coexist within the same sphere

and a mildly self indulgent fic to heal my weird mindset when it comes to clothes and how undeserving i feel of actual nice things or ways i present myself

☆ jimin and you who have been in a long term relationship, both know you’re each other’s lasts and neither have any plans to break it off as you are both very much obsessed with one another and hold too much love for the other to even think of someone else in more than a platonic sense

☆ i’m thinking maybe you stumbles across a pretty little dress or skirt, something super feminine and so far out of what you would normally wear. and maybe jimin notices you’ve been looking at it for a little longer than you usually would and asks why you don’t buy it

☆ you’d shake your head and tell him it wasn’t really for you (and jimin would pick up on the double meaning). you’ve both talked about self image and self depreciation before so he knows it’s more than just not thinking it’ll fit your body— you feels undeserving.

☆ and so, as the best boyfriend he is, jimin would obviously order it for you. but he wouldn’t stop there; he’d buy one for himself too!!

☆ and maybe you would cry, a little overwhelmed, scared, worried even. but so very much in love with jimin and how much of a sweetheart he is that you don’t know what else to do but cry and cling onto him with a blubbery thank you tumbling off your lips between hiccups

☆ jimin wouldn’t have been oblivious to talk of his own frowned upon femininity. not exactly the perfect man, too lithe and too pretty. probably having grown up in a household that held ‘typical’ masculinity above everything. and so, his own personal growth would play a part in the story too!! as he discovers that it’s okay to be a mid-point. that being a ‘good stereotypical’ man isn’t the be-all-end-all and that actually accepting femininity as a part of himself makes him feel more comfortable in his own skin

☆ and hence forth the femininity pact!

☆ you’d probably both talk about it again because communication is important for the both of you! how when you wears skirts or dresses you feel strange in her own skin. and jimin talking about his own little fantasies of just, not being restrained to what has been expected of him and exploring a part of him he hadn’t felt comfortable to explore before

☆ and then comes the conversation of how you’d even approach this. starting off small. glittery pink eye shadow and hours spent watching make up tutorials from youtube, streamed on the tv so you can really take in what is being said

☆ learning how to do eyeliner, with you sat on the counter in the bathroom as jimin leans closer to the mirror. and maybe he learns how to do it a little faster, less chunky, maybe even learning how to do it with eye shadow. and then each morning, he does his own and then yours

☆ once the dysmorphia becomes somewhat more bearable with the make up, still a new feeling for the both of you. then would come the clothes. probably one of the biggest challenges

☆ both of them starting with cute tops, an easy start but still a little daunting. jimin would make sure you’re always matching, always changing before you do and then helping you into your clothes. kissing each insecurity he knows you have before helping with your buttons or zipping up a skirt

☆ and of course, jimin would find you utterly beautiful. it’s not that he hadn’t seen you as anything but before. but this, this was something new.

☆ and so, he’d fuck you with the both of you wearing skirts.

☆ glittery eye shadow clinging to the pads of his fingers that leave a shimmery path of pretty love down your body as he pulls your shirt over your tits

☆ his eyeliner a little smudged— print of your lipstick painting his cheeks, maybe dark red, or a blush pink.

☆ maybe he’d fuck you on the bathroom counter, make up and skincare clattering to the floor as he thrusts up into you. silk pyjamas pulled over your thighs and jimin’s pooling at his ankles, calling you pretty and perfect and so utterly his— he wants to stuff you full of his cum until it’s dripping down your thighs and you’re a total mess with zero thoughts except him.

☆ and maybe the days you needed that little push, swallowed by your own self deprecating thoughts and ugly emotions that made you feel shitty. jimin wouldn’t have it. tugging a skirt up your hips and then laying you over his thighs, deft fingers coming down to slap your ass until tears cling to your waterline and slick soaked the crotch of your frilly panties

☆ and maybe he gets a little carried away while the two of you are out. dragging you into the bathroom, kissing you until your lips are smudged and sticky with lipgloss that he re-applies after fingering you. your pretty glittery nails digging into his shoulders and raking down his back

☆ and being the little menace that he is. he’d buy you a glittery pink dildo. all cute and fun until he makes you bounce on it in front of him. his cock straining under the dress he’s wearing.

☆ and you’re not allowed his cock until you’ve made yourself all pretty and messy for him. pretty pussy a little puffy and used before he slides between your walls and claims you as his all over again. making sure you lick his cock clean of your juices and stuffing his fingers back into your cunt so his seed doesn’t spill out of you.

☆ just jimin fucking you in a skirt and the both of you being pretty people that learn to love yourselves and pretty things

[pricesbeltbuckle]

Help??? I’ve been brain rotting thinking about simon riley like if you feel insecure or something??? like i can’t explain but yes

Insecurities - Simon 'Ghost' Riley

Pairing: Simon 'Ghost' Riley x Gn! Insecure reader

Warnings: Mentions of weight, ED, Insecurities, Starvation, Body dysmorphia

I know for a fact if you god forbid felt insecure he’s loving up on every part of you. “I don’t like how this shirt looks-” “Really cause you look perfect you want me to prove it to you?”

Now if it's more of a facial issue he definitely caresses your cheeks and comforts you and reassures you you’re beautiful in his eyes and he doesn’t understand why he can’t see the beautiful and kind-hearted person he sees in you.

Eating issues he’s definitely concerned about. If he notices you trying to avoid meals he’ll try and talk to you.

If you avoid talking to him he’ll wait until you’re ready to talk about what exactly is trying to make you starve yourself.

If you do tell him he’ll make your favorite comfort food and help you eat it while he snuggles on your shared bed and watches a movie/show you picked out.

If you have body dysmorphia either seeming too skinny or you seem more bloated and stuff he’ll reassure you your body is perfect to him no matter what size you are because you are always and will forever be perfect in his eyes.

Oh my god if someone made a joke to you about it, he’d kill them. “Isn’t that why-” “Shut the fuck up or I will shut you up.” and usually whoever is about to make a comment backs down after a masked 6’4 man threatens them 😭.

If you jokingly asked him to “Kiss the ground you walk on” He actually would just to prove how much he adores you

He likes taking showers with you, not for sex but for the intimacy of him washing your hair and him rubbing soap on you so he can praise you.

“God you’re so gorgeous.” “My perfect baby.” “I love you so much.” “You’re so beautiful right now I wish you could see yourself.” 

I enjoyed writing this a lot. Actually, this was cute :(!!

[canonicallyanxious]

[Spoilers for Fire Island (2022)]

Some of my favorite pride and prejudice adaptation choices from the movie Fire Island:

I mean the Bennets as queer found family is everything to me. it’s absolutely everything to me i think every iconic family from the literary classics should be adapted to the modern era as queer found family actually

Mrs. Bennet as an ostentatious and over-the-top but ultimately well-meaning and loving lesbian mother figure is so fucking inspired and Margaret Cho as this version of Mrs. Bennet??? they had their third eye wide fucking open with that casting choice [E: OH also how the Bennets’ struggle with wealth/social standing turned into Margaret Cho’s character having to sell their house on Fire Island! I thought that was such a fun and smart decision especially in the evolution of that storyline and how it impacted the character arcs in particular!]

The choice to adapt the Bennets publically embarrassing themselves at various dances as getting overly drunk and puking on everything was hilarious and tonally on point (and also as someone who had to act as the sober and sane one at a party of too-drunk people just last week way too timely lol)

i think when doing a modern-day adaptation of a jane austen novel it’s really easy to flatten or oversimplify the nuances of the social and class commentary built into those stories but mapping the complexity of p&p’s social hierarchy onto the gay subculture of the Fire Island’s Pines party and exploring the intersection of gayness with class, race, and body dysmorphia ended up fitting the spirit of the book so well, it was such a brilliant choice your MIND mr. joel kim booster!!!

Moreover those already existing themes of social/class commentary being integrated so seamlessly into Noah and Howie’s (Lizzie and Jane’s) experiences as queer Asian Americans, how that strengthens their relationship with each other and how that experience has impacted the way they interact with the world and protect themselves from societal pressures in such different ways (Noah being more outspoken to mask his own set of insecurities, Howie being more withdrawn but still having his own brand of quiet strength, etc.) and how that is deconstructed through their parallel character arcs - and the layers of Will (Darcy) being a queer Asian American (specifically of mixed heritage amidst a social circle of mostly white affluent men - the way in which Noah assumes he fits into that world but the subtle ways the movie challenges and breaks down that assumption to show that Will feels out of place in that world too) as well!!! If I had the braincells to scream about this for another ten thousand words i absolutely would

The way they kept Will writing Noah the letter for plot reasons that made sense - he remembered that Noah’s phone wasn’t working from one throwaway comment about how he’s the only one in the group who doesn’t have a phone! Will is exactly the kind of socially awkward but thoughtful nerd who feels more comfortable expressing himself through the written word! - made me SWOON i cannot believe they kept that in a way that worked SO WELL in such a ROMANTIC WAY!!!

Also just. Everything about Conrad Ricamora as Will/Mr. Darcy. can i say that’s a favorite adaptation choice of mine bc it absolutely is. Matthew Mcfayden and Colin Firth whomst i only know Will “saw his crush and immediately threw his ice cream cone into a bush and bolted away” lastname

[rottenpumpkin13]

Your body dysmorphia post has me Thinking.

Sephiroth and Genesis bodies are ultimately, very much for show.

Sephiroth is built for precision and agility, his blade and skillset meant for quick efficient culling of large groups of enemies or getting to weak spots on monsters. Like a scalpel. His muscles are mostly for his image, rather then from actual training. The mako makes sure he doesn't need as much physical mass for strength.

Genesis is similar. He's naturally slender, and his image is VERY much appearance focused. I mean hes a magic caster above all, so he's built for speed and dodging.

But Angeal? Angeal is all brute fucking force. That man is STRONG and built for it. You see wrestlers and professional strongman with his build, people meant to hit hard and move weight around. He's like an ox. He puts weight on differently then the other two, and he's a foodie! (Also there's probably something with growing up in relative poverty and then not being there anymore.)

And it is honestly inevitable that they're going to be compared. Their the three Firsts, they're seen together a LOT in pr events and such. And its even more inevitable Angeal is going to compare himself as well.

Angeal's phisyque is impressive and I don't doubt Genesis envies him for it sometimes. He's strong and puts on muscle easily, which I imagine is extremely valued in SOLDIER. I agree, the comparisons are inevitable and I could see it affecting all three of them (even Sephiroth, who could favor Gen and Angeal's more "human" looks over his own).

I beg you to forgive my mini rant under the cut. I fell down a rabbit hole, got keyboard-happy, and want to share my thoughts with you lol.

Assuming the east-Asian male beauty standards are the same in the FF7 world, Angeal is essentially friends with two of the most⏤if not the most⏤attractive men on the planet. He would have grown up seeing Sephiroth and Genesis receive praise and admiration for their looks and constantly being compared to them.

I’m not sure what influenced Angeal’s character design exactly, though we can say that Sephiroth and Genesis’ designs are in contrast to the Western ideals, Genesis more so because he was based off of Gackt (specifically Gackt in the 2000s), which means his design adheres to the east-asian male beauty standard. The two are so contrasting because the east-Asian male standards promote more androgynous and softer looks as opposed to the West’s fixation on hyper-masculinity.

I would say Sephiroth is a mix of both. While his design is inspired by Japanese historical figures and features that give him that “bishonen” appeal, his overall design is pretty masculine. He’s tall and muscular. His body, overall fits into the West’s standards while his face is ethereal enough for us to fit it into the east-Asian standards. Aspects that the West would consider effeminate such as the long hair actually used to indicate a warrior’s class. Funnily enough, long hair as a symbol of masculinity used to be a thing across many cultures, not just in Japan.

The thing about Angeal is, he is attractive. He fits the Western male beauty standard down to a T with traits such as being tall, having a muscular build, square jaw, and facial hair. But if indeed the FF7 world’s equivalent of male beauty is the same as Japan’s… Well, maybe getting compared to Sephiroth and Genesis gets to him.

Don’t get it wrong, the comments about his appearance are usually positive, but they’re always about how “strong and ripped and big” he is. Not to mention he constantly gets told how much older he looks than Sephiroth and Genesis despite being the same age as them.

He doesn’t feel attractive, he feels useful. He sees his body as a tool to get his job done. He has the body of a warrior, a Soldier. It’s built for fighting. The problem is, he’s constantly compared to his friends—the same friends who get compared to angels. They stand out, they’re pleasing to look at. He may be at an advantage with his brute force and ideal masculine physique, but—and I cannot stress this enough—men are not immune to body image issues and eating disorders.

I’ll admit that this headcanon partially stemmed from comments I’ve seen about Angeal’s appearance within the fandom. Some people think he’s ugly, which is fine, no one is forced to find anyone attractive. But I imagine the hurtful comments and the constant comparisons to his “more attractive” friends could hurt Angeal if he were to see them in his day to day life. He may be an enhanced super-soldier, but he's still human.

Again, please forgive the word vomit. I just have so many thoughts on this lol

[avatar-anna]

prof buying lingerie to impress h and being super shy?

sure! i imagine this being towards the beginning of their relationship (after they've made up and everything)

The Professor series

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"That's Harry Styles' girlfriend?"

You wished the girl hadn't said it so incredulously.

You weren't sure if she thought you couldn't hear her, or if she knew you could and didn't care. Either way, it stung.

The urge to sprint out of the clothing store was great, but you tried to ignore it, not wanting to bring more attention to yourself. You could picture the girl and her friends giggling as you walked away with your head hung with embarrassment. So you kept rifling through stacks of clothes, not really wanting to shop anymore.

"She dresses like a grandma. Or a librarian."

"She dresses like her mom still picks out her clothes!"

"I thought Harry only dated models? Why the hell is he with her?"

"I don't know, she seems nice."

"You need to be more than nice to date someone like Harry, don't you think? I don't know she just seems so...plain."

"She must be a great fuck. She has to be looking like that and keeping his attention that long."

The last comment had your ears burning. You knew you weren't exactly Harry's type, that statistically, he did go for a certain body type and look in the past. That didn't diminish how he felt about you, though, and you didn't know why being an outlier in your boyfriend's dating history made people think that way, or how your sex life was anyone's business but your own.

You'd always had a blunt way of speaking, but these teenagers were absolutely brutal. As calmly as you could, you moved to the opposite end of the store and out of earshot.

Only when you were good and ready and decided there was nothing in the store that you liked did you leave. You walked through the mall, passing by a storefront that displayed posters of models in bras and panties, each more revealing than the last. Looking down at your patterned sweater, corduroy pants, and mismatched socks, you frowned, even moreso when you remembered the plain nude bra you were wearing underneath. Did you really dress like a grandma? You never spent much time with your own grandparents growing up, but from the little you did see of your grandmother, she didn't dress the way you did. And the comment about librarians was simply misinformation, you decided.

In a split-second decision, you went inside the lingerie store. Just to check it out, you told yourself. Besides, there was no such thing as too much underwear, you thought.

The first thing that you noticed was lace. Lace in all different colors and floral patterns, lace covering the top of a bra or fanning out over the waistline of a pair of underwear, lace that seemed dainty, and lace that seemed...domineering? You took in everything, trying to determine which sets seemed the most like you, but nothing really stood out in that regard, which was probably the goal of the store. The models wearing the store's garments sent a message of unattainability to its consumers. Try all you like, they all seemed to say. You'll never look like us.

You never understood the plight of body image issues and body dysmorphia more than you did staring in the middle of the store right then. You'd never struggled with your appearance much. Physical attraction could actually be traced back to math and science, proportions and angles and all that. You didn't fall into that small percentage of people who fit into the equation, and you were perfectly okay with that. You had many more interesting things to offer than what big corporations such as the store you were in deemed attractive or desirable. Or "tolerable" as Mr. Darcy would say.

Still, it was hard to remind yourself of that as models with toned bodies and perfect, perky breasts smiled down at you condescendingly.

"Can I help you find anything?"

Startled out of your thoughts, you turned to see a woman around your age smiling at you.

"Um...No, I'm just looking, thank you," you said.

"Any occasion in particular?" the woman pressed, a smile that said, please let me help you I need the commission, written on her face.

You found yourself saying, "I guess I'm looking to...branch out a little?"

"Well, you've come to the right place," the woman said. "Do you need to be sized today?"

From there, the woman piled up different colors, and cups, and cuts into your arms. You owned maybe three or four thongs and one push-up bra, and had no opinion on any kind of style, so you let her grab whatever she wanted for you, though the more she plucked from drawers, the more overwhelmed you became.

"That should be a good place to start," she finally said, setting a lacy one-piece complete with a garter belt on top of your small mountain of lingerie. "Let me open a fitting room for ya."

You followed dutifully, thanking the woman as she shut the door. Finally alone, you set the pile down, unsure of where to start. "Just work your way down," you mumbled, picking up the one-piece.

You tried on bra after corset after g-string after cheeky fit, but nothing really stood out to you. You looked fine in them, you supposed, but none of them seemed special enough or worth buying. As you were trying on a black number that was mostly see-through, there was a soft knock on the door.

"How are you doing in there?"

Looking in the mirror, you shrugged. "Fine. I'm not really sure if I like any of them, though."

"Need a second opinion?"

Thinking it couldn't hurt, you put on a set that was less revealing and opened the fitting room door. The woman gave you a onceover, then told you to turn around so you could see yourself in the mirror.

"I mean, you look great. What don't you like about this one?"

While you appreciated the compliment, you just didn't like the set, a deep red one with little bows on the hips and the middle of the bra. "I don't know," you said with a shrug.

"Well, is there anything you do like about it?" she offered, going for a different angle.

You tilted your head to the side. "I guess...I like that it isn't so harsh. It's...sweet...I guess? Does that make sense?"

"It does," she said. "I can work with that. Anything about the others that stick out to you?"

"I think I like it better when my ass isn't completely out," you said.

"Okay. Noted," she said, clearly amused, but not in a way that you found antagonizing. "I'll be back."

You went back into the fitting room while the woman traversed the store to find something for you. Grabbing your phone, you snapped a picture and sent it to Harry.

You: What do you think?

You slipped into a couple more and sent a few more pictures, trying to see if Harry could give you some insight. He had an eye for fashion. He would be able to guide you.

Before you could send a fifth, he called you.

"Are you trying to kill me?"

"Uh...no? Are you driving? Sorry, I'll stop texting you."

Harry choked on a laugh. "It's not that I'm driving, which I'm not, by the way. You're sending me pictures of yourself half naked."

"Oh. Right. Well, I was just walking past this store and I thought I would try a couple things on, but I haven't liked anything, so I thought I would ask for your opinion, but if you're busy—"

"I'm not busy," he said in a rush. "Well, I kind of am, but now I have to wait."

"Wait for what?"

"Y/n. You sent me four pictures of you in very revealing lingerie, and now I'm hiding in the studio's bathroom. What do you think I'm waiting for?"

"I don't—Oh," you said, his predicament finally dawning on you.

"Yeah 'Oh.'" he said, but you could tell he wasn't really mad. "So you'll be happy to know that I think you look to die for in all of them, but they don't really feel like you, you know?"

"That's exactly what I thought! Here, what do you think of this one?"

You sent another picture, and you could tell Harry had seen it by the harsh exhale that escaped through his nose. "Now you're just teasing me because I told you I was hiding in a bathroom."

"But what did you think?" you pressed on, ignoring his comment.

"You look great, love, I always think so. But...you know you don't have to wear all that to impress me or anything like that right? I love the stuff you already have."

"I know. This isn't for you explicitly, I just wanted your opinion."

Harry laughed. "And here I thought I was going to be a reassuring boyfriend."

"I mean, I've always found it kind of odd that women have to go out of their way to dress up for their partners. I understand it to some extent, but you don't see men going out of their way to get all dressed up, do you? Why do we have to wear the uncomfortable underwear and itchy lace to impress you? And by you I mean the male population, of course."

"Of course," Harry replied. "You make a good point, love. Buy whatever the hell you want."

"Thank you."

There was a moment of silence, and then, "Did you still want my opinion or are you all good?"

"Mm...Yes, but objectively. And since we are dating and I do like doing nice things for you, I will take into consideration color preference and perhaps a part of my body that you might want to see accentuated."

"I greatly appreciate it," he said, his voice mock-serious. "Well, I'm not sure I can be objective, but I suppose like when you wear pink, and...Oh! You have two little freckles just above your right hip bone. As long as I can see 'em I'm good."

His answer had you blushing from the crown of your head all the way down to your neck. How did that make you blush more than any comment about your breasts would? "You're a charmer."

"One of my best qualities according to my mum," Harry said. "I'd love to stay and chat, but I have a situation that this conversation is in no way helping and a song to record, so I will see you at home."

"Okay, sorry about the situation. Love you!"

Harry responded in kind and hung up the phone. Once the call ended, you opened the fitting room door again, surprised when the woman was there. You could tell she'd just been standing there for a while, listening to your phone call.

"Sorry," she said blushing. "I had your things, and then I was curious. My grandmother always called me a chismosa growing up."

"It's fine," you said, trying to focus on the matter at hand.

"I think I found something you might like," she said, then handed two garments. "It's sweet, like you said you liked, and it covers up more than some of the other ones, if that's more the route you want to take."

The material was gauzy and pink, with ruffles cinching the top and bottom of the bra. And instead of underwear, the bottoms were ruffled shorts made of the same material. The woman was right, you decided. It was sweet with its pink satin bows and over-the-shoulder design.

"It comes with a matching garter, but you don't have to wear it if you don't want to," she said.

Your eyes lifted to hers appreciatively. "Thank you."

Once again inside the fitting room, you tried on the final set. You knew that it was either going to be this one or nothing, so you shimmied into the shorts, straightened out the neckline of the top, and considered yourself in the mirror.

It was perfect. You didn't feel so exposed or like you were way outside your comfort zone, but you felt good too. Sexy, even, something you never went out of your way to feel. And just as Harry hoped, the two freckles on your hip were visible, so he would get something out of this after all.

"I think I like this one," you said through the door.

"Oh good! I'll be at the register when you're ready to check out."

Looking at yourself in the mirror one last time, you debated sending Harry another picture. He'd joined you on this journey so far, but you didn't want to pull him away from his work again. And you had to begrudgingly admit, there was a part of you that wanted to see his eyes light up in person when he saw it on you for the first time.

Once you were back in your clothes, which you determined were not what a grandma would wear, you went to the register to check out.

"Thank you for helping me," you said. "I...find it hard to dress in a way that's conventionally sexy and still feel like myself."

"Happy to help," she said with a grin. "And I know I'm outing myself as an eavesdropper again, but I liked what you said about not having to dress up for anyone. My boyfriend always likes to see me in all this stuff, but he's not going out of his way to impress me, so why should I?"

You smiled. "Exactly. And I don't mind dressing up for my boyfriend, but he's not the only one, you know? I'm dressing up for me. Him liking what I wear is just a bonus."

"And he's fine with that?" she asked, almost like she couldn't help it. It made you realize that you had very different boyfriends.

You made a note to let Harry know how much you appreciated him forever never telling you what to wear or how to dress. Those girls in the other store had their opinions, but what they didn't know was Harry loved the way you dressed, and even if he didn't he loved you for you, not necessarily the clothes you wore. Why they thought he was so shallow was beyond you. Harry never came across that way, you didn't think.

"I mean, I'm no model and I dress like this and he loves me anyway," you said with a shrug.

"I don't think there's anything wrong with the way you dress," she said. "It's cute in a quirky kind of way. And being a model is overrated."

You'd never had much in terms of friends. You were much younger than all of your classmates growing up, and before Harry, you mostly kept to yourself. But you thought if you did have a friend, this was how conversations would go. It felt nice to speak so openly with someone. Besides Harry, obviously.

What the woman said was true, you knew that. Though no matter how much you knew that, or how many books on feminism you read, sometimes being insecure was inevitable. Especially when comments about your appearance came from judgy teenage girls.

"Thank you. I'm Y/n, by the way."

"I know. I watch your videos a lot," she said. "I'm Samantha."

As you left, you hoped to bump into Samantha again. She was nice and someone you could see yourself getting along with. Another friend you made all on your own.

:::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

"Okay, you can open your eyes in three...two...one!"

"Wow."

"What do you think?"

"I think the fishnets make your legs look great," you said, taking in Harry's "surprise."

You'd come home shortly after leaving the lingerie store, eager to show Harry what you finally decided on, but before you could even set your bags down, your boyfriend was tugging you by the hand and into your bedroom. He'd been in a robe, which wasn't totally out of place. He lounged around in them a lot when he was at home. What wasn't typical was when he sat you down on the edge of the bed and told you to close your eyes.

He was in fishnet tights and a pair of leather shorts, the rest of his body free of clothing. Your eyes took in the sight, from the top of his head right down to the ruffled socks that covered his feet.

"I thought about what you said," Harry told you by way of explanation. "About men not having to dress up in the bedroom."

With a small smile, you said, "Is that what this is about? You didn't have to—"

"I know, but I wanted to. I don't think I'm comfortable wearing lace underwear, not yet anyway, only time will tell, but I still had this from a photoshoot I did a few years ago, and I thought, well, I thought—"

"You look really handsome," you said.

"Really?"

You raised an eyebrow at him. "You know you do."

Harry grinned down at the floor, though you weren't sure if he felt as bashful as he looked or if he was playing it up a little. "Yeah, but I like hearing you say it."

"I'd be happy to tell you all the things I find physically attractive about you," you said honestly. Patting the spot next to you on the bed, you said, "Come sit."

Harry did exactly that, and you had every intention of making good on your promise, but seeing him up close made you falter. He'd smudged eyeliner in the corners of his eyes, a little messily, as if he wasn't really sure how to put it on. There was something glittery on his cheeks and collarbones, and he smelled absolutely divine.

"You..."

"Yeah?"

In a move that surprised even you, you pushed Harry back onto the bed, one hand in his hair and the other on his torso as you kissed him hard. Harry made a surprised noise in the back of his throat, but he was quick to recover.

"You look really pretty," you said, kissing the shell of his ear all the way down to his jaw. "And I like the tights, but I would like to take them off now."

Harry grinned, his eyes closed as he enjoyed your lips traveling down his neck. "Okay. Give me a moment, and I'll—"

"No. I'll do it," you said, bringing your head up toward his for one last kiss before moving to rid him of the shorts and tights.

Harry leaned on his elbows, lifting his hips up so you could take his shorts off. They were still suspended in the air, but you had yet to take the tights off. "Love?"

"I—I think I want to keep kissing you with them on for a little bit," you said.

"Fine by me. Kiss away."

"But first." You stood up and grabbed the little shopping bag you brought to your room. "Let me change."

Harry raised his brows at you but didn't say anything as you disappeared into your bathroom. You quickly shed your day clothes and put on the set you bought. You felt just as good as you did in the store, which you marked as a good sign. But when your hand reached for the doorknob, you hesitated.

"H?"

"Yes, my love?"

"Can you close your eyes? Please?"

"Of course."

You knew you looked good, and you knew Harry liked the way you looked, fancy lingerie or not. But there was something so vulnerable about showing yourself off in this way. The anticipation of it all made your stomach flip. You weren't the type to draw attention to yourself with clothing, you just wore what you liked. It kind of felt like you were performing for him, and the longer you waited, the more the excitement converted into nerves. But Harry went out of his comfort zone for you, and while you knew you didn't have to, you wanted to. Just because.

So, stepping out of the bathroom, you quietly padded over to where Harry was still waiting on the bed, one hand covering his eyes, you returned to him, legs draping over both of his hips.

When you told him to open his eyes, they didn't go wide the way you had anticipated, the way yours had. They were quite hooded as he took everything in. He didn't say anything for a full minute, like he was processing each stitch and bow. His thumb absentmindedly brushed over the two freckles on your hip, sending shivers down your spine.

"So...can we kiss now?"

Harry chuckled, but his eyes raised to yours anyway, and you found only fondness there. Okay, maybe a little lust, but it was mostly fondness.

"Yes, I would very much like to kiss you," he said. "I just wanted to tell you that you look—"

You couldn't wait any longer. You kissed him, perhaps even more aggressively than before. Harry had no problem with that, though. His hands held onto your waist, pushing you closer to each other until there wasn't a sliver of space between you.

Later that night, you were laying on your sides so you could face each other. His hand was on your hip and playing with one of the satin bows while yours was in his hair and combing through his curls idly. The Emperor dozed between you while Faye Winter was curled up by the window, enjoying the midafternoon sun.

"What brought all of this on, anyway?" he asked.

"What do you mean?"

"It's not every day that I get texts from you in different kinds of lingerie or that you buy stuff like this. I'm just curious to know what led you to...do all of this."

"I..." You wished you could say you bought it because you just felt like it, that it had nothing to do with what you'd overheard in a different store. "I'd overheard some girls talking..."

You explained how your day played out. From going to a store to browse at clothes to what those girls said about you, to your adventure into the world of intimates.

"I know you like the way I look, and I know that I don't need any sort of validation, or that I have anything to prove to anyone about my body, but..."

"People get insecure, Y/n. It happens," Harry said gently. "Just know that I love you for you, inside and out, body and mind and soul and all that, okay?"

"I know."

Harry laughed at your blunt delivery, and you laughed too. "Of course you do, but I was kind of hoping you would reciprocate the sentiment."

Eyes widening, you said, "Right, right, right. I love you too. Top to bottom, inside and out."

Harry grinned, his eyes crinkled in a way that told you he couldn't be more content than he was in that moment. Reaching for the Emperor, he set him down on top of his stomach to make room for you at his side. You shuffled closer immediately, your leg slotting between his as your cheek rested on the spot between his shoulder and chest.

"So, you were right. Sarah loved Persuasion," Harry said.

Leaning up a little, you smiled wide. "Oh, she did?"

"Yep. I'm beginning to think you have a knack for finding the right book for the right person. We might have to start a book club when we start touring."

"Very rockstar of you," you said.

"I'd like to think so," Harry agreed. "Anyway, she said she's ready for the next recommendation whenever you are."

Your face lit up like Harry knew it would. "I have so many. She can obviously keep going with Austen, or if she wants something more contemporary, she can read..."

Harry kissed the top of your head, but that didn't stop you from rattling off titles of books, even if they weren't for him and you could tell Sarah your book recommendations yourself. Once you got on a roll about books, it was hard to stop you. But he didn't mind. He was just happy to hold you against his side, his fingers tracing patterns on your hip while he continued to listen.

[weak4skz]

Han Jisung x Reader

Genre: friends to lovers, angst, fluff, eventual smut

Word Count: 1.3k

Summary: Han and y/n have been friends since before they could remember. But what happens if their friendship is severed by an unfortunate situation and Han goes off to be an idol while y/n is in college. When they connect through a mutual friend, what happens then?

WARNINGS: insecurities, weight issues, body dysmorphia, bullying, toxic beauty standards, name-calling, self-harm (tell me if I should add anything else!)

A/N: first fic up. idk if I should make it into a series though. I hope you enjoy and I would love some feedback :)

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“Come on y/n” Han whined out from on the couch beside me. “We both graduated. I am not watching your dumb romcoms all night as ‘celebration’ let’s go and actually have fun.”

“First of all, they are not dumb Jisung” I started. Second of all, where would we even go to have fun? One of those dumb house parties?” I finished my response. We both sat on my living room couch, me in one of the t-shirts I stole from him some time last week. Han had been trying to convince me to go to one of his friend’s house parties for the past hour. Parties were never really my thing. I would much prefer to stay home and watch one of my ‘dumb romcoms’ instead. Han, on the other hand, was much more of an extrovert than me. My job was to pick him up from parties on the weekend when he had a little too much fun.

“We are most definitely going to a party. And we are gonna be the hottest people in the room and we’re gonna dance until we drop.” Han replied, already pulling me off the couch. “Now go put on something nice so we can go.” He had already somehow pushed me to my room and shut the door. Something nice. I thought to myself, silently walking over to my closet. 

That leads to the second reason I don’t like going to parties. I am not exactly the right shape to wear something one defines as ‘something nice.’ Sure I wear a sundress here and there and even a fitting top every once in a while; I am not fit for the house party definition of something pretty. I am not pretty enough to wear the tight black dress that rests permanently in the back of my closet, I have too many curves for that. So, as always, I picked a pair of wide leg jeans and an oversized graphic tee. Not because they’re comfortable, not because I don’t want to wear dresses. I simply wear them to hide the things I don't want others to see, things I don’t want myself to see. I hide thick thighs behind the dark blue denim and rolls of all shapes and sizes under the black t-shirt. Not because I love the clothes, I don’t even enjoy wearing jeans. Simply, because they shield me from the truth: I am not pretty. Not pretty enough for Han, not pretty enough for my parents, not pretty enough for society, hell I’m not even pretty to myself. Well shit, now I’m crying. Great fucking job y/n. I silently wipe the tears, at this point it’s part of my everyday routine. I walk over to my vanity and reapply my mascara, wiping off the bits that are now falling down my cheeks. 

“ARE YOU ALMOST DONE” Han shouted from outside my door, bringing me out of my own little world. “Yea, almost” I replied, trying to hide the fact I was just crying. I finished touching up my makeup, and walked towards my bedroom door.

 I took an extremely long time getting to the door; dreading Han’s reaction to my outfit for the party.

“Let’s go,” I walked past him and towards the door, not looking at his reaction. I pick up the keys, silently signaling to Jisung I’m driving and walk out the door towards the car.

______________________________________________________________

After the longest fifteen minutes of my life, we arrived at the party. I immediately feel uncomfortable as I get out of the car. The flashing lights and loud music I can hear coming from inside informs me of the headache that’s about to arrive.

 Han pushes me inside and all I see is people. There are probably 100 dancing teenagers shoved inside this two story house. Han immediately leaves me to my own devices after spotting someone he knows. I think I heard him say ‘he’ll be right back’ but i couldn’t really tell over the music. So, as the introvert I am, I look around the room for a corner to hang out in until I go home. I make my way over to the first empty corner I see and pull out my phone so I don’t look like a loner.

I have been sitting in this corner for about twenty minutes until I feel someone approaching me. I internally cringe because they reek of alcohol and sweat. I look up when the said person taps my shoulder. 

“Hey baby. Are you here alone? I could keep you company” he slurs out, clearly drunk.

Ew “No thank you” I say trying my best to muster a polite smile.

“Come on baby, I know you want some company. Just come wi—”

I didn’t even let him finish before I slapped his hands off of me and pushed him away.

“I said no, so back the fuck off and go away.” I said through gritted teeth. I swear this was the last thing I needed tonight. 

“ Listen here you little bitch. I was just trying to help you out but here you are acting all high and mighty. Well guess what, you are not even half of any person in this room. You're not hiding anything by wearing baggy clothes, you fat bitch.” The guy, whose name I don’t even know, started yelling out of nowhere.

Great. And I thought my night couldn’t get worse

Before I could make my emotional response; I reminded myself that this was bound to happen at some point. I remind myself that some people hate me like I hate myself. So I numb myself, blocking out the outside world. Reminding myself that I say the same things about me everyday. 

I brushed past the drunk guy and the crowd of people that decided to watch to look for Jisung so I could ask him to leave. I scan the room and my eyes land on him. He was already looking at me with sympathy? Or worry? 

Shit he knows.

 My best friend, and crush, just saw me get utterly humiliated by having my biggest insecurity revealed to more than half of our graduating class. And even better, he didn’t do anything. Well, I couldn’t really blame him. He was standing next to some girl, a really pretty girl. She was cute: on the shorter side and she was really skinny. She had perfectly clear, pale skin and big doe eyes. She was everything I’m not; and at the same time, she was everything I wanted to be. Judging by the rumpled clothes, smeared lipstick, and puffy lips; I could only guess what they were doing.

Trying to escape the limelight suddenly sprouted on me; I give Han a quick thumbs up to signal I’m okay and wave my keys signaling I’m leaving before walking towards the door.

I turn back, hoping to see Han behind me, but instead; I see him tonguing the pretty girl’s throat.

Hope is for suckers, I remind myself. I remind myself that a guy like him could never like someone like me. That he just sees me as a friend, or even a sister. 

With that, I leave; dragging my heavy thoughts with me. 

[kaybreezy3000]

The Devil Within

A Five Hargreeve / Reader insert

Five Hargreeves has not lived an easy life and no matter where he ends up, things never seem to get much better for him.

Stuck inside a body that's his but not, Five is having a hard time moving on, but sometimes all it takes to totally flip a person's view of things is one very special dark and mysterious night.

-note: female OC will remain unnamed and mostly non-descript to give this one a sort of reader insert-ish vibe.

Warnings and extra tags: sexually explicit content, mind games, a little bit of Klaus and Dolores in this one, dubious consent, violent behavior, rough sexual behavior, Dominance and Submission, dirty talking Five, daddy kink, biting, blood, mild body dysmorphia, public sex, Five has many lovey issues but he's still our sweet boy so hang tight-he's going to pull you through all sorts of emotions with this smutty story😏

(23,127 words 4 chapters total)

(Chapter 1 and 2 post)

Chapter One: Bad Boy; Good Man

It was October thirty-first. Just twenty-nine days after Five Hargreeves had the pleasure of turning what he’d estimated was the equivalent of the age of eighteen. He was stomping down a dark alleyway, hands jammed in his pockets, shoulders hunched, with his eyes staring blankly at the wet cement in front of him.

Like normal, Five wasn’t in a good mood, though there was no denying that he was doing much better than during the first October when he’d turned eighteen. 

That time, he’d been thin as a rail and freezing his ass off in an early apocalyptic winter. Huddling in his improvised shelter, he had tried to get as much comfort as he could by way of cuddling up to Dolores, but her painted plastic skin was as cold and unyielding as the air around him.  

All Five had wanted was to feel something good to help him through his pain, but he couldn’t even have that when faced with the grim reality around him, so he did the next best thing. 

He let go and lost his mind, so he didn’t have to be alone. 

Almost right away when he’d found he couldn’t get back to his family, Five had found Dolores and he’d made her his companion. He started having two-sided conversations with her to keep himself from going insane, but it wasn’t until that sad night of his eighteenth birthday that Five started to feel Dolores’s warmth for the first time, and he did after that for the next fifty-three years.   

He did what he had to. He survived so he could get back.

He was sure that if he did, he could fix everything.

Turned out, he did make it home to his family but not until almost a lifetime later, and fixing things isn’t exactly what Five would call what he did. Fucking it up royal was a better way of summing up what he and his siblings did, both in their own original timeline, then again in the past when they were in Dallas, and then when they were trapped in a hell of their own making in the Sparrow’s timeline.

Now, in a new world made by Reginald, dumped with almost nothing and with no powers to help them, Five was feeling just about as desperate as he was when he was that lost little thirteen-year-old boy, alone in a burning world of death and ashes. Here he was stripped of all scars and even the tattoo he’d had since he was a child. Everything was normal; it was fixed.

But mentally he was far from fixed.

Having to move in with Klaus since he wasn’t old enough to rent on his own was Five’s best option considering he had no others, but it was a huge slap in the face for the fifty-eight-year-old, once infamous temporal assassin.

As much as Five was happy that they were alive and the world didn’t seem to be on the verge of falling apart, sometimes this new existence felt like just another punishment for all his many wrongs and this night was just another bad one that he'd rather not be having.

It was lightly misting out. As he walked along in the dark, Five’s chocolate-colored strands of hair were beading up with tiny drops of moisture. 

It was damp and cold and well past ten on Halloween night, so of course that’s the night Five was forced out of his own apartment unless he wanted to continue to listen to his brother’s latest boy toy loudly moaning and groaning to the rhythm of Klaus’s headboard banging into the wall that divided their bedrooms.  

As Five trudged along, dead set on finding the closest bar to drown his sorrows in, he unexpectedly heard what he thought was someone crying for help.

He looked down the alley to his right just in time to see a huge man dressed like a gorilla raising his hand at a cowering female that he’d backed up against the wall of the building.

Five watched as he dropped his furry black mask on the ground and pressed himself against the girl, crushing her with his body as he violently groped her. She closed her eyes, her mouth opening wide in a silent scream as she waited for the blow from the hand he'd raised, but luckily for her, the crack of knuckle to bone wasn’t attached to any sort of pain involving her.

When she opened her eyes, it was to a young stranger in a dark suit, standing between her and the man, his head turned to one side, forced there by the creep’s large fist.

“Get out of here!” Five yelled at her, his face turned downwards as he held a hand to it.

Then like a scene from a movie, he slowly righted his head, his green eyes flashing with anger.

“Is that all you got? Used to hitting little girls?” he seethed.

The man looked totally pissed that Five had just gotten in his way. He puffed up and retaliated by tackling him. With a good seventy pounds on the teen, he hit him like a freight train. The girl scrambled out of the way as they barreled toward her.

Five grunted as his back slammed into the building.

The guy’s fist came flying at Five’s face at about one hundred miles per hour. At the last second, he ducked, and the dipshit’s fist crashed into the brick. “Fuck!” Spit erupted from his mouth just as blood erupted from his knuckles.

While he shook his hand out, Five spun from his grasp, grabbing the man’s free arm, hitching it high behind his back. The man launched his head backward, hitting Five on the top of the head but not as hard as he would have liked being Five was shorter than him.

Releasing the girl’s attacker, Five staggered back, his eyes unfocused but still managing to see a blunt object laying a few yards away.

Sprinting for it, Five picked up the pipe, swinging it upwards just as the guy was about to throttle him from behind.

The ring of metal to skull stopped the girl’s assailant dead in his tracks. 

The big creep crumbled to the wet pavement.

With his blood boiling and his body filled with adrenaline fueled rage, Five turned and started to stalk away, moving right past her, still clutching the pipe in his shaking hand.

He didn’t say a word, and the girl just stood there as if in shock wth her glittery halo crooked in her hair and the white feathers of her angel costume fluttering in the slight breeze that was moving between the buildings.

She reached out and grabbed Five’s arm, but he kept going and because of that her hand slipped down the sleeve of his suit jacket until her fingers brushed across his palm.

Five was not at all expecting her to touch him, and he was not ready for it when she latched on to him, not letting go.

Wound up like he could explode, Five spun around, verbally lashing out on her. “I’d think you’d have run off by now." The girl said nothing, so he yelled at her. "Go. Home!”

Still, she said nothing.

Her eyes seared into him.

She had the strangest look on her face; one Five couldn’t interpret and didn’t get the chance to because suddenly he was filled with extreme disorientation.

All at once, it was as if he was looking back at himself in a mirror but doing so while standing just as he was in that dimly lit alleyway.

As if that wasn’t weird enough, the man looking back at him was the real him.

Five was old again.

His face was dull looking and tired, with soft wrinkles at the corners of his eyes, and his hair was short and white, only peppered with dark shadows of what remained of his traumatic youth.

Five could even see his usual gray suit of choice and his favorite hat perched on top of his head, all paired perfectly with his neatly trimmed mustache bending with confusion as he tried to form the right words to express what he was feeling, but there was nothing that could explain it.

His mouth opened and closed a few times, looking like he was AJ Carmichael in his plastic baggie, gasping for air that was quickly running out.

"I... I-"

His stammering wasn't going to cut it, and he needed to get out of there, so Five yanked his hand back, the feel of his skin as cold as ice.

A few seconds later, stepping back onto the sidewalk on to the much brighter street, Five’s hand came up, rubbing his face, his trembling fingers lingering on his smooth upper lip.

He looked back the other way and saw the young girl dressed as an angel had disappeared. It was as if she took flight on her silly nylon coated wings, and poof, she was gone.

Weirder yet, the guy he’d just nailed on the head with the pipe was gone too.

A dizzying sensation ran through him. The damage caused by the gorilla man had left Five’s left eye starting to swell.

He needed ice and he needed to get out of there, but Five was stuck like he’d stepped in glue. He touched his fingers to the side of his face, grimacing when they brushed across the swollen socket.

Looking at the smudge of blood on his fingers that had gotten there from his split lip, Five’s mind spun. He couldn’t figure out what had just happened. Then, a rush of chilly air blowing out of the ominously dark alley swirled a tornado of leaves across the fresh spray of blood on his new dress shoes and the sight of that reminded him this wasn’t the best place to linger.

He’d just bashed a man’s skull in. That man was nowhere in sight, meaning Five hadn’t killed him, but still, he needed to go.

A couple dressed as ghosts passed by, the woman looking at Five worriedly and that helped snap him out of his bizarre state of confusion. Chalking up his moment of insanity back there to his concussed brain, Five took off again, grumbling to himself. “God, I fucking hate Halloween.”

A few blocks away and several minutes later, Five walked into a bar. Fortunately for him, since he was already sporting a nasty bruise around his left eye, most of the areas inside of the establishment were darker than it was outside. It was so dark that if not for the flicker of medieval-looking lanterns hanging about and all the strobing lights pulsing to the beat of the music, it would be nearly impossible to navigate his way through the crowd.

The place was packed with people in costumes, all crammed on the dance floor and areas around it. A couple of girls with hardly anything on were grinding on each other in raised cages, looking like some kind of goth version of beach barbies. Five gave them a dismissive glance as he made his way to the back.

This was not his idea of a good time, and it was not his preferred method of getting drunk but going home meant he’d have to deal with Klaus, so this was the next best option.

Away from the more aggressive chaos, Five sat down on a barstool that had just been vacated. Here he could see the action but not necessarily be an active part in it, and better yet, this is where the drinks were. 

Even before intervening to help the girl in the alley, Five needed something hard and strong to take the edge off, but since getting hit in the face by that girl's attacker, the urge to purge his woes had increased ten-fold.

“What the fuck was I thinking,” he said under his breath.

He asked it but the reality was, Five knew very well what he’d been thinking.

He had questionable ethics. Sure… But he also had a long history of being used and abused by others. When it came to defending people that were at a disadvantage and being taken down a bad road because of it, when Five saw that happening to that young girl, it reminded him of himself, and he had to step in to stop it.

It’s not like he hadn’t hurt people before, but not like that guy looked like he was going to hurt that girl. Five had killed plenty of women for no reason other than he was ordered to by his superiors at The Commission, but he had no choice. To Five, what it looked like that guy was trying to do once he knocked that girl out was truly sick. 

Five knew he was one of the bad guys, but he was better than that. At least that’s what he always tried to tell himself when it came to his propensity to overlook his many transgressions.

Just as Five’s mind was wandering back to his weird outer body experience in the alley, another young girl who shouldn’t be out on a night like this, sauntered past him, dressed as a naughty nurse.

The idea of asking her to bandage him up had Five pulling a smirk but instead of calling her over and trying to hit on her, he pulled his eyes off the tight uniform that was hardly covering her ass, he heavily sighed, then he stuffed a hand in his pant pocket and turned back to the bar.

On Halloween night, all women, young and old, got to play their slutty card with zero judgment and the men that were out got to enjoy the free show. The problem with that for Five was, he hardly felt he could do more than take advantage of the look but don't touch policy.

Even though they’d been in Reginald’s new world for over a year and upon arrival Five had been so thoughtfully given a slightly older looking body, he still looked at best the age of sixteen, hence his fuzzy math on figuring his current physical age somewhere around eighteen. When it came to pursuing relationships of the sexual kind that weren’t with inanimate objects, he was mentally closer to sixty, so add all that together and that made him the youngest old dirty perv out there, and even for him, that was a hard pill to swallow.

It’s not like he hadn’t tried to hit on women before while looking younger than this, but that never resulted in anything, and Five knew it wouldn’t. He was only doing it because he enjoyed getting a rise out of them. 

Hooking up was obviously one benefit of these kinds of places and nights like this when the tramps and vamps were abundant. If Five could get past his troublesome age hangups, he was physically legal now and he would definitely not be opposed to some meaningless sex that a one-night stand would provide him, but tonight, all he wanted to do was escape Klaus and escape life by way of good old-fashioned intoxication.

Eyes on the lit-up shelves of liquor behind the bar, Five called out his order to the man in front of him who had been giving him the side eye since he’d sat down. “Give me a shot of Jack and keep them coming.”

The bartender gave him a look. “Seriously?”

“I’m not joking," he curtly responded, then added, "You can really do me a favor and put it on ice if you really want to make it special. Then make the next one poured straight."

The tall man with black eyeliner and a mesh shirt that was draped in chains eyed Five up and down a few times, but despite his lack of ID and his beaten-up appearance, clearly the hundred-dollar bill he'd just laid down and his pricy looking tailored suit were enough to satisfy him that he was close enough to legal drinking age to be there.

“Don’t bleed all over my bar or puke on my floor, little man,” he warned before pouring Five his drink and his next shot, then setting them down in front of him.

Just as Five had drained his ice filled cup and placed the cool glass against his aching eye socket, he felt something skate across the top of his head and then a pair of hands travel up his back.

Reactively jerking his shoulders as his hand moved up to inspect his hair, Five turned to see a very pretty blonde smiling at him as she stood next to Klaus.

Five’s grumpy looking pout turned downright sour. 

“Great,” he groaned. “And here I thought you were staying home tonight.”

Holding what looked like their kitchen broom topped with tin foil to make it look like a shepherd’s hook, Klaus’s glittery blue painted lips spread from ear to ear. “Yeah, well… I changed my mind. It's Halloween and staying home on Halloween is for losers.” 

Klaus’s smile faltered the longer he looked at his younger-looking brother. 

“Did you get in a fight?”

Five’s fingers continued to feel around on his head, finally poking at the pointed horns Klaus had slipped into his ruffled mane. “Yes, I got in a fight and to answer your next question, I won. And to end this lovely conversation, you can take these back,” he said, starting to pull the devil headband off.

Klaus sprung forward, pushing the shimmering black horns back into place. “I can’t let you be the only one here who is not in costume,” he argued.

Swatting Klaus’s hand away, Five knocked back his next shot then dryly retorted, “I am in costume. I am a retired homicidal maniac.”

“I know you are, Fivey, and that is why you make the perfect little devil boy.”

That comment about his age and small stature only made Five feel even less friendly. Putting on an overly sweet smile, making himself look even more the part of the fiend who was dressed to kill in his fancy new psycho suit, he sniggered then said. “I left tonight to get away from you and your boyfriend, so do me a favor and please leave me alone. I am trying to get shit faced in this fine establishment just like the responsible adult I am, and I don’t give two shits about Halloween, and I never have.”

Klaus frowned. “Hey, man. Jake is not my boyfriend, he’s my fuck friend and he had to go to work, so I got bored,” he corrected.

“Whatever.”

“Not whatever…” Klaus defended. “Maybe I wouldn’t need to have people over all the time if you hung out with me more. It gets lonely there with you hiding out in your room, reading your nerdy stuff or playing hanky-panky, hide your wanky with Dolores.”

Five lowered his chin, glowering at his brother. “I only moved in with you because I had too. Since I am legally an adult now, I think our cohabitation arrangement has ceased to serve any valid purpose other than giving you someone to annoy.” 

Five perked up, his eyes widening as his head dropped to the side.

“Oh, and what I do in my bedroom is my business,” he hissed, “-and furthermore, by the sounds I heard coming from your bedroom, you are hardly lonely, so don’t give me that let’s go find the next big ball of string shit.” 

After chewing Klaus out, Five finally took in the full glory of what his brother was wearing. Totally blown away by the sight of it, his head cocked to the side even more, and he scrunched his face at him. 

“Klaus, what the hell are you supposed to be?”

Loving that Five seemed to forget that he was still wearing the devil’s horns he’d adorned him with, Klaus further distracted him by playfully bonking his shoulder with his shepherd’s hook.

Again, Five swatted him off, which was entirely Klaus’s intention to begin with, then totally disregarding Five’s increasing state of twitchy itchiness, he proudly twirled around in his frilly blue dress and even added little curtsy to top it off.

“I am Little Bo Peep. Isn’t it obvious?” he explained, his tone clear that his pretty ensemble should require no explanation.

Five’s bewildered expression melted back into his customary dry smirk. “Uh-huh…” he muttered just before he threw back his next round of Jack.

Even though Five had hardly bat an eye at Klaus’s friend, as he tried to turn back around to dismiss them, she proceeded to snake up to him, sliding a finger through one of his belt loops.

Five took one look down at her hand at his hip, then he narrowed his eyes at her. “Excuse me, Miss? Not sure you are aware, but you are invading my personal space.”

Not seeing the problem, the woman, dressed in a skintight catsuit, erupted in a bubble of laughter as she gave Five’s dress pants a little tug. 

“You are right, he is cute,” she said to Klaus before leaning closer to Five with the sting of alcohol on her breath hitting him so strongly it made his eyes burn enough that he had to blink the fumes away.

Despite how drunk she was and how aggravated he was getting, Five couldn’t help that his eyes flicked down to the mounds of her huge breasts spilling out of her velvety top. Momentarily unable to think of anything other than burying his face in her dirty pillows, his tongue slowly ran over his teeth and his mind went all sorts of naughty places.

With the hand he still had in his pocket nudging his dick into a position that would be less embarrassing for him if he inadvertently let his eyes linger any longer, Five looked back up again, his disinterest still evident in the hard line of his mouth as he posed the question, “Am I supposed to be happy that you think I am cute?”

Only after hearing that did Klaus’s friend look a little hurt, but that didn’t mean she removed her fingers from his pants or that she moved her body away from Five’s backside. 

“Klaus told me you might like a little company…” she dangled.  

“Did he?” Five mumbled, flagging the bartender for another.

As he set down Five's next shot, Five turned and requested a bottle of water as well.

About this time, seeing as Klaus was misinterpreting his slick plan to get Five laid as a done deal, the older looking Hargreeves started back peddling himself out into the crowd, easily disappearing in the lights and bodies moving to the electronic music thrumming through the bar.

Cat lady wiggled her butt, swishing her tail behind her provocatively. “What do you say, want to have some fun? I am really good company…”

“I am going to have to say no. I am all good on company, thank you,” Five returned, then picked up his next shot, flipping it back down the hatch as he shifted his weight forward on the bar stool to try to dislodge her hand from his waist.

Undeterred and obviously too drunk to read her own name let alone pick up on what Five was laying down, she squeezed in next to him, her thighs rubbing up on the side of his leg as her other hand fell in his lap, tickling down between his legs.

“I want you,” she purred.

“I am flattered but I am not interested, but lucky you, that guy over there probably is,” Five noted, tipping the shot glass dangling from his finger at the guy behind her that her cat tail endowed butt was ramming into.

“Awwww, but Klaus said you don’t get out much.” She tried to bat her eyes, but it came off more like she was having a stroke rather than sexy. “He told me this kind of thing is exactly what you need to work through all your demons.”

She rolled her body against Five.

Five straightened his back as he cleared his throat. “Darling, no amount of sex is going to exercise my demons and as much as I’d like to fuck you so hard that you won't be able to see straight for weeks, I have a meeting in the morning,” he effortlessly lied, trying to give her a gentler brush off.

To that, her face lit up excitedly. “It doesn’t have to take long. Klaus told me you are a virgin, so I am sure it won’t. If you want, I can suck you off in the ladies’ room, and later back at your place I can help relieve you of that other little virgin problem,” she dangled, her fingers getting even more frisky.

“As tempting as that sounds…” Five gently peeled her fingers from his pants. “Here,” he said, putting the bottle of water in her hands. “Drink this and go dance. I’ll catch up with you another night.”

“Are you sure?”

As warm and buzzed as Five was starting to feel thanks to the whiskey burning him from the inside out, his old voice of reason wouldn’t be deterred. 

This girl did not know who he really was or what he was capable of, and even considering her offer the tiny amount he was, was making him think it was time to go about ten minutes ago.

She was pretty. Young. Probably twenty-five or maybe a little older, she was lost perhaps, and insecure and very drunk. Five might be a fucked-up prick, but he wasn’t such an asshole that he going to shit on the kid’s feelings because he wasn’t into this. After all, maybe if it wasn’t Halloween, and maybe if she wasn’t doing this because of Klaus putting her up to it, and if she was someone older but not too old that it made it even weirder, Five would have said yes. Looking so young and lacking when it came to social graces, Five knew that he should be grateful for someone willing to look past all that. But…

“I am sure,” he calmly repeated, again ordering her to drink the water as he authoritatively pointed a finger towards the dance floor.

The girl looked smitten by his bossy behavior, but finally getting that Five meant business and not the business she was hoping for, she said, “Thank you. And...just so you know, I still think you are cute.” 

Then the kitty danced away on unsteady legs that Five was having a twinge of regret not having wrapped around him as he tried his best to fuck her pussy through the metal wall of one the bar's bathroom stalls.

Even though she was very inebriated and probably only did what she did because of his brother, the girl’s minority opinion of him had a small smile pulling at the corner of his mouth.

“Holy shit did that girl have daddy issues,” he breathily mused.

Shaking his head and thinking about how much fun it would have been to be her ‘daddy’ for the night, Five paid his tab, then slipped past the dance floor, looking for signs of Klaus, but not seeing him.

He wondered where he’d ended up; whose bed he’d be landing in tonight, but really it didn’t matter so long as he didn’t bring back his conquest to their place because that would mean Five would have to sleep with ear plugs in and a pillow over his head all night.

As Five was midway to the door, he felt someone watching him. He stopped, cautiously surveying his surroundings.

He didn't see any threats but one of the dancers caught his eye. She was a hot little number. Slightly shorter than him, with soft looking hair and a white feathery skirt that covered her ass and not much more. 

Despite her attire, she was dancing alone and appeared perfectly content that way. Five couldn't see her face but her body language said it all. She was dancing for herself and no one else, and that made it damn sexy.

When she finally turned to face him, Five stopped breathing, his fists clenching at his sides as the flashing lights lit up her sparkly halo.

She was the angel girl from the alley, and she was dancing with her eyes closed and a blissful smile on her angelic looking face.

It made no sense after what had almost happened to her that she’d be there. 

In his periphery Five could see that two sleazy looking coyotes were circling her, trying to figure out how to slip in for the kill. As pissed as he was that she clearly hadn’t listened to him and gone home, he still wasn’t about to let them get to her before he took another bite out of her first.

He bolted through the crowd and slipped into the tiny empty space between her and one of the approaching stalkers, placing one hand on her shoulder. 

Her eyes flashed open and for a second and they seemed to glimmer with unnatural light, but Five quickly waved it off, assuming it was the glare from one of the laser lights flipping around.

“You’d think with what happened to you earlier, you’d prefer hanging out somewhere a little less dangerous? Like at home since it’s past your bedtime.”

“I could say the same to you,” she said, her smile as sassy as his words.

Five bit down his ire and gave her an overly sweet smile of his own. “You know that you have a couple of new predators stalking you,” he told her, indicating the two men sulking at the edge of the dance floor.

She turned to look at them. “And you thought you’d rush to protect me, again?”

She rolled her body with the music, their proximity so close that she was forcing Five to mimic the movement of her hips to keep from stumbling like an uncoordinated idiot.

“Something like that," he quickly shot back, "or maybe I thought the look of my beat-up face might remind you that you are luring in all the sickos again."

One of her eyebrows lifted just a little. “I am sorry about your face but are you trying to imply that you’re less of a predator?” Her hand brushed across Five’s chest as her eyes slowly ran over him. “Because… You look like the devil to me.”

Five’s hand moved from her shoulder to the small of her back, pulling her close. “Angel," he deeply growled, "I am one hundred percent a predator, but trust me, unlike with them, you’ll like it when I eat you.”

She laughed, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at him.

The gesture might have been dismissive, but her body language was anything but. She closed the minuscule distance between them, keeping her body pressed against Five’s as she took control of the dance they were doing, guiding him with a suggestive sway of her hips and her hands gliding across his shoulder blades.

Five did not like to dance and only did so when he was shit faced wasted, but he was buzzed and she moved like liquid silk, luring his body to forget it had bones.

As strange as it was, Five would have been content to stay there with her, just dancing and flirt fighting the rest of the night, but then the song shifted to a more bass laden sounding tune, and noting Five’s discomfort, the girl took his hand and led him from the dance floor. 

Her cool hand felt so good wrapping around his hot fingers, that alone was enough to make him follow but then she said, “Come on, handsome. You saved me, so I think that means I should at least buy you a drink.”

Five had known many compelling women but this little seductress leading him along had a very different kind allure about her and only part of that was in how she was so boldly handling him. Sure, Five had swagger, and probably a dictionary full of as many slights as he did pick up lines if he chose to deploy them, but there was something about the way this girl looked at him that made him feel sexier than he’d ever felt.

In a matter of minutes, Five had forgotten why he’d felt the need to confront her or protect her from the other men in the bar. Her face spoke of youthful innocence but everything else about her said differently and Five wanted to take care of her as much as he wanted to do very bad things to her.

Five knew something wasn’t right about that, but he couldn’t wrap his head around it.

Just like in the alley, he felt outside himself, only this time not necessarily in a bad way.

Chapter Two: The Devil's Advocate

After receiving their drinks, the girl took a sip, then gave Five a kittenish look that made his heart beat a little faster than it already was.

Though the girl was getting to him, Five did his best to feign indifference as he smiled back. “What happened to your wings,” he questioned as he looked at her shimmery white outfit while trying not to linger too inappropriately long on the tempting curves of her body.

“I parted ways with them because they were itchy,” she said with a pretty but sad sounding laugh. “Like you, I am more of a fallen angel type, so I fear the illusion I was trying to play off wasn't working that well anyway.”

Silence filled the space between them and Five looked down at the pink drink in his hand, his dark eyelashes fanning over his alcohol flushed cheeks.

“That bruising you’ve got going on really brings out your eyes,” she teased, reaching up to adjust Five's hair so everyone would be able to better see his two pointy devil horns.

Again, he'd totally forgotten that he was wearing the horns and since the girl seemed to be enjoying them, Five decided to leave them on as he huffed a little self-depreciating laugh of his own, then he sipped his matching fruity cocktail and said, “That's great. Just what I was hoping for when I threw my face in front of that gorilla's fat fist.” 

Being the perfect flirt she'd been since Five spotted her on the dance floor, the girl giggled at his grouchy response.

Not sure what to think of this young stranger’s forward behavior with him, Five gave her a sidelong glance.

She sat on her barstool, swirling the ice around in her glass with the glowing straw. Since it was even more crowded than when he had been over there before, Five didn’t sit, but leaned on the bar as he cautiously watched her. Thanks to the booze flowing through him, he felt at ease, but yet not at all, and that contradiction was making it hard for him to let his guard down enough to fully enjoy the girl's surprisingly not horrible company.

“If that hurts too much, I might be able to help,” she offered, clearly referring to his busted eye socket and swollen lip.

Five gave her a hard look. “And how would you help?”

“I’d take you somewhere private and I’d find a way to make you feel better. I owe you and I always pay my debts.”

Five frowned. “Am I missing something or are you looking to get yourself into trouble again?”

“You aren’t missing anything.” She flashed her teeth, her smile so innocent looking that again it was impossible to ignore that she was way too young for him to be checking out in the way he was.

Forcing his eyes off the barely legal eye candy next to him, Five pulled up his cuff to check his watch, noting it was after midnight.

“Like I said before. I would have thought you’d have gone home or called the police to report that guy, not continued with your evening like nothing happened," he challenged as he hesitantly glanced back up then even more firmly added, "Please don't take this the wrong way, but coming into places like this where losers lurk around every corner isn't a very bright idea."  

“What if I said that those kinds of losers were exactly what I was looking for before I found myself and even better catch?”

“I’d say you are fucked up,” Five replied, trying to laugh off her weird rebuttal, but as her hand came up and lingered near the knot of his tie, he stopped laughing and apprehensively asked, “What are you doing?”

“I am helping you.”

“I don’t need help,” Five sharply retorted, his smile beginning to melt away as a hard line drew between his eyes. He set his drink down, readying himself to scold her like an angry parent does a teenager. “I don’t understand why you are at a bar. There is no way you are twenty-one."

As he should have guessed, based on his own appearance, the girl looked very amused by him trying to put her in her place and that only irritated him even more.

“We have quite a bit in common and one of those things is me being older than I look," she said, simpering back at him. "Also like you, if I want something, I have my ways of getting it." She began to softly run her fingers up the back of Five’s suit coat, then to the back of his neck with tender strokes, teasing the ends of his hair. 

The sensation felt so foreign yet so comforting that Five reactively shut his eyes for a moment before quickly opening them again, only now they were filled with alerted suspicion, not the droopy look of contentment he had just so easily given himself over to.

“I don’t think you should be touching me like that,” he cautioned.

The girl looked unconvinced as she leaned into his ear, her cool breath adding to the tickling feel of her fingers splaying through the back of his hair as her nails delicately scratched his scalp in a way that made him want to drool it felt so damn wrong but good. Both feelings mixed, overwhelming Five as wonderful shivers shot up and down his spine.

Unable to fight it, he shut his eyes again. He wanted nothing more than to lose himself to this.

“Oh, I think touching you like this is exactly what you need,” she shushed as she watched him helplessly falling apart. “On top of that, I am not used to such interesting gentlemen like yourself stepping in to right the wrongs of this world for me. Meeting you was a refreshing encounter, and you make me wonder if this thing we have could be more than..."

As she pushed back away from him, Five opened his heavy eyes. The girl's smile was borderline silly as she rolled her eyes around as if thinking really hard about what she was about to say but then she baffled him even more when didn't say a word. Further messing with him, she looked at him again, then plucked the cherry from her glass and began twirling it between her luscious looking red lips.

It was more than clear to Five that she was toying with him but that didn’t mean that he wasn’t eagerly eating it up as he hungrily watched her every move and melted more and more with every sweet touch, she so willingly gave him.

“Wondering if we could what?” he anxiously asked when he lifted his gaze from her mouth to meet her mesmerizing eyes again. 

She said nothing, and his own eyes glazed over with raw desire and something much darker and harder to quench. 

Five’s hand suddenly clamped down onto her leg, midway between her knee and her hip.

Holding his breath, he looked down. He couldn’t believe he’d put his hand on her like that, but it was there, and it was in a very intimate spot.

“It’s okay. I want you to touch me,” she soothed.

Five’s mind filled with all sorts of other things he’d like to be doing to her and touching her only there was just the tip of that iceberg of things he craved.

Heart racing, his gaze rose to her mouth again, lingering on her teeth that were studding into her lower lip.

Five moved in closer, his hand slowly inching higher.

As the girl parted her legs for him, for the third time that night, Five felt as if he was having an outer body experience.

As if her doing that wasn’t temptation enough, a voice in his mind was telling him not to stop, and it was doing it so loudly it was all he could hear.

His hand slid upwards, reaching the top of the girl’s thigh, high up under her skirt where her hip joint met her leg.

Five brought his body closer still, clearing any space left between them as her knees pressed to the insides of his legs, but remained pointed towards the bar, hiding what he was doing to her.

“Number Five, I know what you want to do,” she sweetly sang, almost so quietly and hypnotically that he thought he might have imagined it.

Five hardly thought it was possible that this little vixen next to him had any clue of the things he wanted to do to her but then she proved him wrong.

“You want to make me come, right here while I am sitting on this bar stool,” she said, calling him out without an ounce of doubt.

“Fuck,” Five coarsely muttered.

His fingers as if having a mind of their own brushed across the cool wetness that was soiling her panties. Five's body ached with yearning that was only worse from the feel of that, but his mind suddenly and very painfully kicked back in as if he was just hit upside the head. 

As the lights from the dance floor scattered a rainbow across his face, he felt lightheaded and that had him frantically starting to question what was happening to him.

Five jerked back, but he didn't remove his hand and that was because he felt he couldn't; almost like something was mentally blocking his nervous system from doing what his brain was ordering it to do.

He was trapped.

Unfazed by his state of confusing, the girl reached down as her hand gently explored the smooth cotton that was covering his taut torso. She kept smiling as her fingers walked downward and then below the waistband of his dress pants. Five fought to think clearly, and pull away again, but her grip tightened around the top of the black wool fabric and she said, “Come on, lady killer. I am ready for you…”

“You said my name... But I didn’t tell you my name,” Five whispered as he started to panic. 

The girl’s eyes were locked on Five’s slightly parted lips, and they flickered with that same eerie light he’d seen in them on the dance floor, only this time, he was sure it wasn’t the pulsing lights making them look so otherworldly.

Running her fingers along the sharp angle of Five’s jaw, she only enchanted him further with what she said next.

“Five, I know who you are, and I think you are beautiful. Because of that, I am going to give you something you can’t seem to find on your own, and just so you know, I’d want to give it to you even if you were still outwardly that sad but sweet looking old man you have living inside your head. You are special, and your real age has nothing to do with it.”

“What are you?” Five asked, now sure that the woman next to him wasn’t at all the angel she appeared to be.

Again, she flashed him her pretty smile but this time Five noticed her somewhat elongated incisors looked very sharp.  

Five was stunned; his mind felt foggy, but the fear building in him kept trying to push through the haze.

“You don’t have to be scared of me,” she hushed him with her index finger softly tracing the line of his mouth, stopping before it graced the painful looking split on his lower lip.

Five was frozen in place as the girl’s icy looking eyes darkened and she said, “Like you, I may be a predator, but I assure that you’ll like how I bite.”

The girls’ legs nudged his, wordlessly inviting Five to proceed where he’d left off.

As if drawn to her like they were surrounded by opposite magnetic fields, Five reactively positioned his body even more so in such a way that casual observers would never know what he was doing.

With his hand still up the girl’s skirt, Five’s thumb hesitantly rubbed over her sex.

Five said nothing as he softly touched her, his fingers gliding under the silky fabric as his eyes remained locked to hers.

If the bartender came by them, he’d know exactly what was happening but Five couldn't bring himself to care about that or anything other than her.

The way she was touching him and the things she kept saying to him were all making the crotch of his pants so sinfully tight. That alone was making it hard to think straight but Five knew something was wrong, only he couldn’t bring himself to stop, not when wrong felt so fucking right and his brain kept shorting out.

Driven by unimaginable longing, Five came closer, his lips a mere inch from tasting her. “You may think you know me, but I assure you, you are meddling in things you don't understand,” he darkly warned, then he started to rub harder alongside the small nub of flesh between her legs.

The more his thumb circled her clit, the harder it seemed it was for her to resist rolling her hips against his touch and that empowered Five even more.

He felt like he was coming back to himself, but it was too late. He wasn't going anywhere.

“Beg me to fuck you,” he hotly whispered in her ear, giving her exactly what she wanted but denying himself nothing. 

“Please. Plea-”

Not satisfied, Five upped his pace.

“Fff-uck- Fff-” 

To his delight, she couldn’t finish her breathy hum of 'f' words. The girl dropped her head to Five’s shoulder, her lips brushing past the side of his cheek on the way there. 

He tucked his chin against her temple as if in a lover's embrace.

The feeling of her body being so chilly compared to his enflamed skin instantly reminded Five of how it felt when he was fucking Dolores. That thought and the girl’s immediate obedience that matched that of his beloved, were making his dick so hard it felt like it might rip out of his pants.

Aware of his growing problem, the girl started slowly palming the bulging fabric between his legs.

Five’s head rolled back on his shoulders and a low groan came crawling out of his throat that fortunately was drowned out by the heavy rumble of the bass pulsating through the bar.

“What if someone comes by?” he hissed through his teeth as he tried to focus more on what his fingers were doing than on how good his dick felt in her hand.

“If they know, that just makes this all the hotter,” she breathed against his neck.

Hell yes, it did. 

The thought of some stranger catching him fingering her and her not caring was driving Five’s mind crazy and that made waves of heat surge straight to his loins. 

She wanted him to fuck her and Five wanted to do that more than ever. A deep tightening in his stomach was filling him with visions of dumping his load all over her, just like he liked to do with Dolores when he was in the mood to really shock her.

That wasn’t happening but he was still fucking this girl and just as Five was wishing his hand had more room to move, the girl’s legs drifted further apart.

To that, Five swiftly slid another finger under her panties and straight into her with no warning, causing them both to moan from the venereal tightness of the sensation. Reveling in the feeling of being inside of a real woman’s body for the first time ever, Five’s thumb continued to rub the girl’s clit, and her wet skin directly against his own was making him want to rip the rest of her clothes off and spread her wide as he could so he could bury his face where his fingers were.

Five’s body was blocking his finger pumping in and out of the girl, but when he caught sight of the bartender, who had a slightly different view than the rest of the bar, he returned Five's look of dismayed lechery with a curious looking smile, making it look like he knew exactly what was going on but didn’t seem inclined to interrupt the young devil angel combo that were actively getting off in front of his bar.

“You are such a bad boy, Five,” she whispered as her cool breath tickled his ear and her compliments continued. “You so fucking hot, I wanted you the moment I saw you.” She nipped at his ear, her teeth grazing the shell. “Fuck, I want to taste you,” she prettily growled, and to that, she did taste him, letting her tongue move up his neck before she softly kissed the slight protrusion of his Adam's apple.

As she continued to rub her hand over the fabric covering Five’s confined cock, he wanted to return her compliments but the only thing that would come out of his mouth if he opened it was going to be a moan, so he bit the side of his cheek instead and kept at it, fucking the girl with his fingers thrusting in and out of her slicked hole.

“Oh yes, Ah-Ffff !” she cried.

Her agitated sounds of delight continued as she pulled at the top of Five’s pants, dragging his hips in so his erection came up against the side of her knee. 

Not even questioning it, Five automatically started moving himself against her, humping her with an unforgiving pace. To him, it felt almost exactly like he'd done it some many times with Dolores, and because of that, Five couldn’t help but let his tortured mind slip back to that comforting place of unconditional love that he always had with her.

Now he was safe. That quiet voice in the back of his mind screaming at him that something was wrong went silent.

In his mind, as he pressed himself against the girl, he created the image of Dolores. He could even feel the sensation of his hand holding the familiar shape of Dolores’s rigid fingers. It felt so real that Five could even hear her telling him that she loved him, and not thinking, he whispered it right back.

Dolores’s hand tightened around his, her lips softly kissing his neck again.

Five gasped. The world felt like it was slanting on its axis and he was about to fall off, and that startled him right out of his fantasy.

The seductress held him tight, not letting him move away. “It’s okay, Five. You can pretend I am her. I don’t mind."

Five’s eyes went wider and then even wider when her fingers abandoned his, then brushed through a gap between his shirt buttons, searching through the slits until she found his navel. 

She tickled her fingers around under his clothes, pushing them down the very fine line of hair trailing downwards. He all out spasmed when she found the tip of his cock where he'd tucked it to keep it hidden but was now overhanging his belt because he'd gotten so hard.

The little angel’s finger swirled around the surge of wetness that had formed at his tip, while her other hand squeezed his where he had it digging into her thigh.

All at once, Five's mind was filled with more reassurances and words of love, only now they were not in the voice of Dolores.

With those sharp white teeth pinning her plump lower lip, the girl collected the fluid, then brought it back up to her mouth, licking it as she gazed back at Five in the most sinful way.

To add to Five’s shock, the girl reached back down and started rubbing her thumb up and down the underside of his cockhead, causing him to go weak in the knees.

Five’s mouth burst open, and his words flew out of him. “Oh my god! I know you are inside my head, but I don’t fucking care. I want to be inside you so fucking bad. I want to destroy you. I could fuck you through that wall right fucking now!”

“Ah-hah… That again,” she giggled. “Twice in a matter of an hour you've had that fun idea. You seem to love the idea of fucking people through walls, don't you, Five." This time her taunting was followed by a provocative nip at Five’s lower lip, her teeth scraping over the tender tear in his pink flesh.

Five felt like he was dying. His heart felt like it might leap right out of his chest.

When the wicked cherub seducing him pulled back, letting his lip go, Five let out a small, whimpered plea. “Please kiss me.”

Five watched the girl’s red lips happily spread as she leaned back in, slowly letting her mouth mold to his. 

Five didn’t know what he was doing, but he’d kissed Dolores millions of times, so he thought about that, but let the girl take the lead for him because this was so much more than that.  

The girl was being so soft with him, not at all mimicking the pace of his fingers viciously pumping inside her. Her skin on his was pure ecstasy but when she prodded his lips to part, it was all new territory. The gentle lashes of her tongue teasing his had Five feeling desperate and he immediately pushed for more.

Hand on the back of her neck, Five drove his mouth harder into hers, letting out a soft sound like his soul was breaking.

He felt consumed by the taste of her, and the rhythm of his hand slowed almost to a stop, but only for a second before he picked it back up again and then everything picked up speed.

If the music wasn’t so loud, Five was sure that the sound of the girl’s wanton moans and the sound of his fingers squelching inside her would be heard by everyone around them. As it was, there was no hiding the small thrust of his hips as he fucked her leg like the horny devil he was.

Their kiss had turned deep and wild, and the fresh cut on his lip was throbbing but it felt almost as good as her finger that was still playing with the bloom of his cock. 

When she broke their kiss, feverishly panting, her lips traveled across Five’s neck, softly kissing below his ear with icy hot breaths.

He couldn’t take it anymore. She felt like Dolores, or better yet, like he wanted to believe Dolores felt.

He yanked the girl’s head back, forcing her mouth to drop open. 

Now he saw that her teeth weren’t just sharper than normal, now her canines were dangerously elongated.

He hadn’t imagined it the first time he'd seen it. Five wanted to say so many things, but he didn’t and couldn't. He eyed her blood red lips for only a second before he crushed them with his own again.

Five had never kissed anyone before this. He had never had the nerve to. He had never trusted anyone enough to let himself go in this way. He had no reason to trust this girl and she was clearly not all she appeared, but after a lifetime alone, he was finally getting the chance to have this and for some reason all his worries felt like they didn’t matter anymore.

Five had believed himself damaged beyond repair and that no one would want him if they knew who he really was, and if they did, it would be for all the wrong reasons, but when this girl saw him from the inside, she still had said he was beautiful… 

She started to gasp for air again, her lips moving against the side of Five's mouth. Knowing he had her right where he wanted, and not wanting to let up, Five covered the skin under her ear with wet kisses and daring little bites.

“Oh, Fi-vvve,” she keened, her hips pushing against his hand each time he pumped his fingers into her.

Wanting to make her cry out his name again, Five curved his fingers up, dragging them in and out.

A flood of unintelligible words spilled from the girl’s mouth as her fingernails scratched the skin on the back of his neck.

“OH! FFFfff-uuuck!” she cried.

Not wanting to draw even more attention than they already had even though he was loving this, Five immediately covered the girl’s mouth again with his, smothering her cries as he slid his tongue in, tasting her like he was starving.

The girl’s body started to tremble around Five’s fingers, the feel of it impossible for him not to notice.

She was trying to return Five’s ferocious kiss but was failing and he was in heaven just listening to the beautiful sound of her fighting him.

When Five felt that the pulsing flutter of her body around his fingers had eased to almost nothing again, it was as if the lights got turned back on and the music turned way down. 

Suddenly feeling like a spotlight had been thrown on him and like he’d been drugged and was coming down from the high, Five slowed his hips to a stop.

Despite his bizarrely uncharacteristic level of blind trust unraveling by the second, Five was still careful to keep a steadying hand on the girl and keep her covered as he withdrew his hand.

She met his confused gaze, looking totally blown away as her fingers that had been clinging onto his tie instead came to the nap of his neck, softly stroking his hair again.

“What did you do to me?” The question came out of Five sounding both scared and so full of anger that the girl looked taken aback by it.

“Only what you had wanted,” she defended.

“I didn’t ask to be fucked with. Get out of my head!” he shakily snarled back. 

Her voice came out so unwavering entrancing that it hit him physically. "I am not going to hurt you, Five. It’s okay. Come back to me. I promise it’s going to be okay if you do.”  

Blinking slowly, Five shook his head, trying to wake himself up. In less than a few seconds, even though he intended to, he couldn't let the girl go.

“That’s it, Five,” she soothed as he started to look back at her in awe, rather than filled with venomous hostility. 

She smiled with relief as Five hand started to lovingly stroke the inside of her thigh.

“You are so gorgeous unreal and I just... I have been wanting to do that for a very long time,” he quietly admitted while forming the most boyishly charming grin that it made the girl trapping him in her arms look at a loss for a moment.

“You’ve been wanting to finger me...for a very long time? But we just met?” she teased, followed by a laugh, that made the dimple in Five’s cheek grow even deeper.

“I wanted to know what it felt like to kiss someone who could kiss me back,” he coolly corrected.

“So, I was wrong," she dangled as she smoothed out the length of his shiny tie, her eyes purposefully getting wider the second her hand fleetingly passed over Five's cock again. "You weren’t thinking about getting your hands up my skirt so we could have a moment of shared public debauchery?”

Five lifted his hand to his mouth and nonchalantly tasted his fingers. “Mmm…” he hummed as he tilted his head to the side and his other hand naughtily grazed over the wet fabric between her legs. “I wanted to do that too,” he admitted with an air of playful confidence coming back to him.

Totally taken by the angel's spell again and feeling like he didn't have a care in the world, Five subtly rolled his hard length against her leg to the beat of the music.

“I think there’s more you want to do,” she said, giggling at him.

“What is your name?” Five suddenly asked, his hopeful eyes filled with emotion much deeper than his lust.

“It won’t matter after this,” she whispered just before her lips were on his.

Before he could even consider why it wouldn't matter, like before, her kiss tasted like a fruity paradise and Five wanted to drown in it. It was all teeth and tongue and madness, but then all at once, a metallic taste filled his mouth. He tried to pull back, but he couldn’t. The unpleasant flavor grew stronger, and the girl kissed him harder, her teeth locking down on his bottom lip as he moaned out of the sheer intensity of blinding pleasure hitting him and in pure terror and for what he didn’t even know any more.

Her kiss was consuming him, it was too much, but then the bloody iron like flavor abated and Five was suddenly swallowing something much colder and almost bittersweet tasting.

It tasted like nothing he'd ever known but he hungrily tried to get more. He kissed the girl back even harder than he already was. Five’s heart hammered in his chest and his body sizzled with heat so strong that he thought he might spontaneously combust.

Then it stopped.

He was standing there at the bar; the music so loud it was deafening. The girl was holding both his hands in hers as a curious smile graced her stained lips.

Five blinked a few times.

What the hell was going on?

He felt…

Actually, he wasn’t actually sure what he was feeling, other than he felt better than he ever had, and all he wanted was to kiss her like that again.

~~~~~~

A few moments later, Five had stripped off his suit jacket and was tossing it on a purple lounge couch in a private room that the girl was able to acquire with a mere nod of her head towards the bartender.

After scanning the small room, he turned to the girl, his eyes running up and down as she approached him.

Coming at him hard, her hands landed on Five’s chest, pushing him backwards until he was cornered with the back of his legs against the couch.

“What are you waiting for?" she taunted. "I thought you wanted to fuck me through a wall, and I am pretty sure that I see one right here that should do the trick." She slowly moved her gaze to the busy looking wallpaper to their right as if he didn't know what wall she was talking about.

With a devious smile spreading, Five goaded the girl right back. “Angel, before the night is over, I will be killing that tight little pussy of yours by nailing it through a wall or just railing the fuck out of it any damn place I see fit.” Five shamelessly palmed the crotch of his pants as he added, “But first, this devil wants to use his demon dick to have a different kind of fun with you.”

The girl looked honestly shocked for the first time by something Five had said to her and that made him very happy.

He quickly undid the metal fastening of his belt, and then undid his pants.

She was speechless.

As she already had felt, Five was not small, but now his tight black boxer briefs were leaving very little to imagination. He looked utterly adorable standing there with his pants down and his slim fit dress shirt untucked but doing nothing to cover how much he wanted her.

With a steady hand pressing down on the girl’s shoulder, Five encouraged the girl to sink to her knees.

He confidently stood above her, the only tell that he wasn’t as sure of himself as he looked was the slight tremble of anticipation running through his body as he took her halo, throwing it back behind her.

Sliding a hand down, Five pushed his underwear down, freeing his stiff cock.

The girl let out a little whimper.

Feeling pretty damn proud, Five grabbed a wad of her hair, then sharply pulled her head, pushing the girl closer to his body.

“My turn, angel,” he tauntingly sang with misleadingly boyish play in his voice.

She licked her lips then opened her mouth around him, her tongue leisurely tracing up the veins covering his engorged shaft.

After only one pass, the girl stopped to gauge Five’s reaction. 

The moment he locked eyes with the girl, she wrapped her lips around him again and Five was quick to push her down without warning, forcing her to gag around him as she struggled and gasped for air. 

Smirking, Five let her sit that way, letting her adjust as he let out an unavoidable low groan over that sinful act of cruelty. His fingers played with the girl’s silky hair, petting her even if it was a degrading form of encouragement. Doing as he pleased, Five refused to adjust the pressure he was putting on the back of her throat, but for some reason, it felt okay to being doing this, just like she said it would.

With a small nod of approval from him for her quick submission, Five reached down, requesting the girl give him her hands. She did, then he proceeded to place them palm down on his thighs. Taking her hair again, Five allowed the girl to move freely, bobbing her head up and down, mostly working his tip with her tongue.

Her eyes fluttered and her nails gently dug into Five’s slouched pants as he started to rock her head back and forth over him again, making his dick disappear in her wet mouth. Holding her the way he was, with her head titled back, her throat open and lined up perfectly, it allowed Five deep penetration and a view he'd only ever seen in porn and the sight and the feel of it was making his already heavy cock feel like it might truly choke her if he got anymore turned on.

“If it’s too much let me know,” he said, clearly indicating that she should push back if he was too rough or if he made her take him too deep.

He wasn't expecting it, but she immediately pushed back, then started circling her tongue around his tip as she moaned. Since this was not what he wanted, Five's mind whirled with punishments he could deliver but his stomach filled with butterflies the more he listened to her. As she teased the underside of his shaft, his breathing grew heavy, and he couldn’t help but grind against her marvelous tongue.

Reaching up, the girl’s hand dragged down over Five’s abdomen. She was taking her time with him, and it was evident she was enjoying it and the feeling of each ridge between his muscles as he held his body tight, trying not to sway. Five had to admit, he was enjoying it too, but then she wrapped her hand around him, covering the base of his shaft but not moving. His hands clenched; his knuckles white as he let out a rough sounding sigh of exasperation.

Letting his eyes settle on her, Five was just about to start thrusting down her throat again when the girl’s cold hand began to move, and her head shallowly bobbed over his cockhead as she softly sucked.

Five’s body shuddered and she responded by moving her hand up his length, jerking him a few times before pressing her thumb gently but firmly against the underside of his tip where her mouth was just popping on and off.

Sudden waves of pleasure hit Five, followed by shaky breaths as his fingers tightened their grip on her. Taking complete control of her movements again, he quickly forced her head down, pushing her lips sliding all the way to his pubic bone and only pulling her head up again so he could fuck into her throat all over again.

It’s not like he hadn’t warned her or given her an out. That much was clear in Five’s fuzzy mind. There was no denying he wasn't getting a sick sort of pleasure from her tears and her wet gags and each and every spasm of her throat, and there was no way he wasn’t enjoying the sound of the girl’s desperate whines and moans.

She wasn’t tapping out, but her fingers were digging into his thighs almost painfully as her eyes rolling back so far Five was sure her brain must be turning off because he'd skewered it.

Loving every second of dominating her and roughly fucking her face so hard he was making it impossible for her to think, Five paid her back by not holding in his deep moans and low grunts of euphoria, but all too quickly he had to stop, or it would be over, and he didn't want that at all.

As his hips slowed and pulled away, the girl’s swollen lips gently popped off him. 

Her brows furrowed upwards as she watched Five with a needy expression. Feeling like he could get away with it, he tapped her chin with the tip of his cock, spreading the drips of drool that the girl couldn’t help but have on her after taking him that long and hard. 

Five smiled down at the girl, a cruel sort of look spreading across his face as he watched the little angel wordlessly begging. He tightened his grip on the back of her head.

“God, you are fucking beautiful,” he breathed, then suddenly yanked her hair back, forcing her to crane her neck back. “I can’t wait to paint that pretty fucking angel face of yours.”

After a few more taps to the girl's waiting tongue, Five swiftly brought her down on him again, immediately causing her to gag. The sound of her body fighting him and the feel of her moans buzzing against him as she twitched and repeatedly tried to swallow, all had Five feeling so damn close to the edge again, but he couldn’t stop now even if he wanted to.

Soon, his rhythm became even more aggressive as he took her head in both hands, sadistically slamming his cock into her mouth while griding the back of her throat before pulling off only to repeat the process.

“You really wanted my dick, didn’t you?” Five breathlessly sputtered as he threw his head back and his eyes fell shut.

Inevitably his brutal pattern became more erratic. Eventually, Five pulled back, fully pulling out. His hand that was tangled in the strands of the girl’s hair moved to the girl’s pouty lips instead.

Jerking her chin up he urgently asked, “You think you can swallow all of it?”

She eagerly nodded.

With an air of desperation coming out of him, Five stroked himself needily, bringing himself closer and closer as the girl watched in anticipation, her mouth open and tongue out.

With a few sharp inhales, Five’s body began to shudder, and his legs began to feel like they could give out on him. His heel squeaked on the floor as he drove forward, intent on delivering. 

A long string of rough groans fell from Five's gapped lips as the girl flinched and shut her eyes in response to the pearls of white falling over her awaiting tongue.

Having had plenty of pent-up sexual tension from just the last few hours, not to mention a lifetime of being deprived of anything to this level of sexual eroticism, Five’s load repeatedly spurt out of him in heavy ropes.

The girl swallowed and swallowed, trying to keep up but even though she was, Five deliberately pulled back, letting the last of his cum land across the girl’s flushed cheeks and drip down between the mounds of her milky white breasts.

"Oh fuck," he gasped. His hand remained clasped around his shaft. His angry grip kept moving but slowly as it passed over his hot length and he road that the last incredible waves of his release.

Even though Five was on another planet as the heavy sound of his panting started to abate, he noticed that the girl was suddenly sitting there still as a statue. She was totally quiet, and her hands were in her lap as if waiting for further instruction or perhaps it was because she was too scared to move. The fact that Five couldn’t tell was quickly overshadowing his feeling of frenzied contentment.

His chest was still moving up and down faster than normal as he looked in shock down at the mess that he’d made of her. Appalled at what he'd done, he quickly pulled up his clothes and swiftly tucked his softening dick back in his tight black underwear.

Starting to panic, he stopped at zipping himself up, worriedly staring at her again with his belt still dangling open and his mind falling apart. 

Five threw his hand back over his hair, brushing the dark strands out of eyes as he looked around the small room, trying to find something to clean the girl up with. He saw a convenient box of tissues, sitting on a small side table so he lunged for them, then gently as possible, he wiped his seed from the girl’s face. 

As Five was about to draw another disposable wipe across the tops of her glistening breasts, he stopped short, realizing that maybe doing that wasn’t a great idea. 

He tossed the soiled tissue on the floor, rubbing his shaking hand over his face.

As his fingers brushed over his eye, Five noticed it didn’t hurt at all. It felt totally normal, which made sense because he could also tell that it wasn’t swollen at all anymore.

All of a sudden, it dawned on him that it wasn’t swollen when they came into the private room. His lip felt normal too and being extremely horny couldn't be the only reason he'd ignored it.

Eyes still closed; the girl let out a small sound that Five wasn't sure how to interpret. Her hand floated up, a finger hesitantly poking at her sticky flesh where her white top dipped the lowest.

“I am sorry,” Five sputtered. “I don’t know what came over me. That was so-"

So ashamed of how he’d just treated her and confused about his face and that just let himself do that, Five couldn’t begin to formulate what he was thinking.

“I am going insane,” he breathed, his eyes falling away from the girl as he started to step back, but then her other hand found his, her cool fingers trapping him even more than the couch behind him.

She started to smile. Still her eyes were closed, and it was making her look so blissfully happy it only further confused Five. She was the hottest girl he'd ever seen but she was way too young for him, and from the time he'd seen her on the dance floor, he never intended to do more than have a friendly drink with her. But clearly something changed his way of thinking, but what that was, he couldn't remember and before he could get too upset about that and what he'd just done, the girl finally started to talk.

“You don’t need to apologize," she said, rubbing at her closed eye lids. "I loved every second of that, and I know that nobody has ever been lucky enough to say this to you, and you are more than worthy of the compliment, so here it is. Five Hargreeves, you have a very nice cock, and you taste amazing."

As much as it seemed she meant it, it also seemed she couldn't say such a dirty and brazen thing with out laughing about it and that made Five feel a lightness that made no senses with the rest of his heavy emotions.

This was not normal. Something wasn't right but he wanted so badly to pretend it was.

As nice as she was being about everything, Five couldn’t help but feel like a total asshole despite all his other terrify reservations, so playing along, he ineloquently countered that with the only thing he could come up with. “I do what I can do with what I’ve got, and unfortunately, I have nothing to compare that unforgettable experience to, but I can confidently say that was the most amazing blow job I have ever received, so thank you.”

“Your very welcome. I do what I can with what I’ve got,” she repeated, copying his words and tone so well that Five couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

Feeling some better, though he didn't understand why the sudden switch, his hand came down on her head again and he started to lace his fingers through her tousled hair, trying to fix it. He wanted to help her up and was reaching down to do it but that all stopped when her eyes started opening.

Five’s eyes blew wide as he stared at the unnatural light emanating back at him where before had only been the paleness of her bottomless eyes. Suddenly, he remembered begging the girl to kiss him while they were out in the bar. 

He remembered the taste of blood.

Her smile grew wider, exposing her fangs.

In an instant, Five swooped low, wrenching her head back at the same time he pulled out the knife that had been hidden in the strap attached to his ankle.

Eyes ablaze; he brought the shining blade to the girl's neck.

~~~~Chapters 3 and 4 coming very soon....(mid-next week)

Thank you for reading and if you like, check out my other stories at the links below.

Master List Post to my Five Centric Stories and Art

Link to my other posts on Tumblr

Link to visit me on AO3

[chattemagique]

yan!Tendou has his own way of curing your low self-esteem

summary: yan! Tendou fucks you in front of the broken mirror, after hearing you talking bad about your appearance, to show how pretty you are.

author's note: was going thru my notes and damn, I can actually write, so posting this for you guys, a bit (lot) personal self-insert, hope y'all can enjoy too, but it would be much better if you couldn't relate. anyways, peace and love 🫶🏻🕊️💞

pic from ブリテッリ @BRTRmilk_ on Twitter

tw: mentions of self-harm, body dysmorphia, low self-esteem, rejection trauma, self-hatred, non-con, skin carving.

all characters are 18+

minors dni

Life with Tendou Satori was bombastic(side eye, m sorry guys😭), you never knew when he's going to "explode" and affect you. He was as unpredictable as he was on the playground. As it usually happens when people are living together, they start to unintentionally pick up each other's behavioral patterns. You became as explosive and as unpredictable as him. Of course, it can't be denied that three months here, with him, after kidnapping weren't also great for your mental health, which led to the weakening of your psyche.

It's not like you've ever loved or liked yourself. You couldn't even understand why this whole thing happened to you, since you weren't even that pretty, not really wise too. You'd probably consider yourself as one of the last choice. So there were many other more beautiful girls around, why out of all people YOU???Dysmorphia returned to you even during the worst moments, making the whole situation much more horrible.

You were standing in front of a bedroom mirror and couldn't stand the way you looked, you hated yourself not only for your appearance, but also for your past mistakes, your weak personality and character traits that let other people exploit and mock you, and he was another evidence.

"I HATE IT, I HATE IT, I HATE IT"  

Mirror flying down, glass hitting the floor and the pieces scattered in all directions. You wanted to hurt yourself so bad, you wanted to end these sufferings, you didn't understand why you deserve this, but at the same time this was exactly what a bitch like you deserves.

"(Y/N)!" 

Your red haired kidnapper barged into the room only to find yourself sitting in the corner and crying.

"What happened?" 

"I, -I.." your breathing was deep and fast. 

"I hate the way I look, I wish I was born a pretty girl, I wish I had other mindset, I wish I wasn't different, I wish I could fit in, but I'm not! And everytime I feel good about myself, she's always coming back!" you shouted it loud, while grabbing onto your head.

I wish I wasn't different, I wish I could fit in  

Oh, that hit home to Tendou.

So you think he'd fall for you if you were like everyone else? You think he'd find other girls attractive when you were around? You think if you'd fit in he'd consider yourself as his soulmate?

Well, I guess you had to learn this lesson as he once learned.

"Get up."

"N-no.."

"GET UP."

Quiet cry.

"(y/n), don't make me do things that I don't want to do."

You slowly got up, keeping your hands around your stomach, facing the ground.

"I-I just don't understand... why me..?" you said with soft, tearful voice.

Why are you still asking him this question? 

As if he didn't tell you enough.

He unhurriedly came closer to hug you. Usually it would take longer if not forever for you to hug him back, but this time you just needed that support from no matter who, even if it’s from a man who ruined your life. If you can't give it to yourself, maybe he could.

Abruptly he lifted you up and brought to bed. You could tell where it was going, you just didn't care anymore, because it has already happened many times. And hey, at least he likes you..

He removed soft fabrics from your body and unbelted his pants. Having you in a missionary position, he pulled you by your thighs and harshly entered you. Loud gasp escaped from your mouth.

For foreplay his thrusts were quite rushed and hard, you didn't even get wet enough for his dick.

"S-satori.. ple-ease.."  you whimpered his last name in a bit pesky manner.

"Say that you're beautiful (y/n)," you were just whimpering.

"SAY IT" he repeats it louder than before, suddenly squeezing your nipple as you moan out loud.

"Tendou-u, p-please, stop... it hurts"

He continues to twist your nipple even harder. 

"I AM, I am beautiful" you yell out. 

"That's right," Satori releases your nipple and starts gently massaging the sore area with his palm, without slowing down the pace and strength of thrusting. 

"What else?" looking into your eyes, long, slender fingers tenderly caressing your breast area, periodically making a circle movement around your areola. 

"I am smart"

"Good girl"

"I am sexy" 

"You're right, princess" he increases his pace, grabbing your hips and slightly lifting up your pelvis to hit the spot. You let out a loud moan, trying to stabilize your breath. You feel your orgasm coming and your vaginal muscles slightly pulsating as you finally come on his cock, his pace being as fast as before. 

"I am loved"

Tendou leans down to kiss you. You do not resist. If at least somebody can love you, then it's better than nothing. Your tongues weawe together like snakes during mating season. You can't believe that you don't want to pull away from your kidnapper, all you want is this moment to last forever as your bodies unite in one.

You can feel him gradually increasing his pace, as it becomes harder for you to breathe. He gets it as he pulls away from you and finishes inside you. Picking up from the floor the broken mirror glass to carve into your skin "beautiful" and "mine".

[uchihaharlot]

I have a question, what do you think of Obito/Tobi?

Hello nonny 😌🥹

You are my first ask on this blog 🥳🎉 And it’s of my beloved Obito/Tobi. 😍 Obito forever will be a gentle giant in my eyes with a side of fucking you stupid. Save that for another day. I will distinguish between the two personalities best I can. I feel like, aside from the mask hiding his identity, it was easier for him to be who he wanted to be in Tobi without the pressure.

Some sfw with mild suggestive themes Obito/Tobi headcanons:

Obito:

• Despite his role in bringing near world domination, he’s a lover not a fighter. After all the whole reason he went awol was because of Rin and Madara’s influence.

• Very easily manipulated. ☺️😅 Sorry Obito, he just is so gullible half majority the time. He doesn’t know any better, Madara completely lobotomized him from a young age to be his pawn after he died. A patsy for his own gain for Madara’s return from death.

• Definitely died virginal. Unless he fucked a white Zetsu, and as a teen he wasn’t very explorative given the seclusion and watchful eye of old man Madara. Plus he was focused on healing and growing half his damn body back. Plus, he didn’t look like himself anymore which probably gave him a bit of body dysmorphia and fed his insecurities.

• Genuinely believed he was being led the correct path in life. That he didn’t need anyone or the village — just Madara (especially didn’t need that Bakashi!!).

• Like majority of the men who are traumatized in this series, Obito can’t sleep at night. Late at night the inner confines of his mind play psychological warfare and close in on himself. ‘Am I doing the right thing?’ ‘Will this really make me feel better?’ ‘Will peace come once the dust settles?’

• Holds in his emotions until they crush him, figuratively and literally. Then he really carries the mantra of ‘burdened with glorious purpose.’ It replaces the heart on his sleeve and that’s when he hardens — or he thinks.

• Seeing Rin die definitely was that final straw and at the hands of Kakashi without any preemptive warning on the situation at hand. This is where Obito does a 180 and harnesses that resolve to carryon Madara’s will. Which is where Tobi comes out.

Tobi:

• Let’s see. I think when Obito designed became prisoner to this persona, it was a coping mechanism. Tobi was one way to get around his turmoil and needing a disguise was the perfect way to avoid dealing with deep seated issues. Win/win/???.

• It makes keeping a distance from the other Akatsuki members easier. Tobi doesn’t want to talk about his trauma or about his family’s history. When Itachi joins it’s imperative that the rest don’t know his secret. What trauma? He’s a new man in this new little world he’s made.

• Which is why in the beginning he’s such a butterball of feigned ignorant bliss. Obito never had the chance at a real childhood so what better way than to live that vicariously through his second ego?

• It also boosted his confidence, tremendously. Being an authoritative figure hiding within the ranks of a hand basket of deplorables made him deliciously confident. He can’t pinpoint why exactly, but having the Akatsuki on the string of his tennis shoe like puppets is an ego boost. It’s an added bonus that most are unsuspecting.

• I think Tobi sleeps most nights peacefully, not always though. Still has these moments of uncertainty, like that meme of your brain before going to bed and it spouts off some shit you’d rather not spend the night debating with yourself about. That still happens to Tobi but not as frequently as when it was Obito in the cockpit of his psyche.

• At the end of the day; we all have a face that we would hide. The face of a stranger, and when it comes to Tobi, Obito is his dead name — he doesn’t recognize much beyond the hurt that got him to where he was today. Letting it fester and further infect his brain. What did they call it? The curse of hatred: Obito is the poster child for this. Sure Sasuke would be a runner up but Sasuke literally chose the path of vengeance, Obito was molded by it. Tobi is the darkness and Obito became a prior life.

[frenziedslashers]

Hear me out on this one, negan with a transmasc s/o and he grinds his bat against them

My Two Favorite's

A/N: PLEAASE, I HAVE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SINCE YOU SENT IT LMAOO (Also, I LOVE your pfp. I love Dewey sm 🫶)

Warnings: Negan(he is a warning let's be fr), Object grinding(?), Fingering, brief spanking, Punishing, uhh body dysmorphia, if I missed anything lmk, it's like 3am here. Negan also may be ooc idk. Enjoyy:))

Pairing: Negan Smith x Transmasc!Reader

REQUEST INFO || TWD MASTERLIST

God he could be such an ass.

Negan was a lot to work with and everyone knew it. Even the people within the compound, who dropped to their knees out of "respect" knew that he was a pain. You knew the respect was mostly fear, though. Everyone knew that much.

He had picked you up towards the beginning of all of this. Offering you a safe haven. Sanctuary. You were on your own, fighting and running daily, so of course. You trusted him, and truthfully, you still did.

Even though he did some mighty questionable, and some would even say cruel things. You trusted him with your life. He never gave you a reason to doubt him or believe that he would harm you. He would put himself between you and the line of fire any day, and you knew it. You were his weakness. His rock.

"You wanna talk back now?" He quipped, following you into your room. Though he offered to share his room with you, you requested to keep your own. You still carried this fear of getting too attached to the man. That one day he might not betray you, but he might leave. Not by his choice, but the choice of the cruel world that you both lived in. He wasn't exactly liked by many.

You huffed as he continued to follow you into the bedroom. Throwing your hands up in exasperation. "I just don't understand why you keep me trapped in here!" You snapped, and he tutted. You couldn't bring yourself to look at him. You just knew that stupid smirk was on his face. "And what exactly are you even trying to leave for, Mister? You got everything you could ever need here, where it's safe." You hated how much he cared about you sometimes. Other times, it'd make you smile and your stomach would tingle with that feeling you swore you'd never feel again after the apocalypse hit.

The sigh that left your nostrils made him raise his brows. The angrier you got, the thinner the ice you treaded on became. Negan wasn't exactly a guy you wanted to piss off and you knew that. "I just want to leave," He opened his mouth, but your eyes that met his were quick to ridden his fear of you leaving for good. "Not forever, I can't leave here, and you know it." That he did, you had nowhere else to go. Unless you decided to live in one of the communities that they 'owned'. "I'm just tired of being locked up. I feel like I'm in a prison and you're forcing me to be here because for some fucking reason you care about me." You snapped, and he nodded, his eyes darting over your face with the look in his eyes that you despised.

"Will you stop looking at me like that?" You asked, and he furrowed his brow, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. "Like what?" "Like you actually care." His smile was quick to fade at your words. Expression looking a little offended at what you said. "The hell is that supposed to mean? Why in God's name would I not care about you?" He asked, and you felt a tinge of guilt shoot through you. In the years that you had been with him, you still hadn't accepted the fact that he does care about you. Stepping backward as he approached you with heavy steps.

"You know what? No, you can't leave. Not when you think I don't give two damns about you." He snarled, one hand reaching out to point and poke at the center of your chest right below your collarbone. His other hand gripping Lucille with a force that turned his knuckles white. "You act like we haven't been fighting together for years. Like I don't pass up women and men who offer me a hell of a night because I fucking care about you. I don't know how many goddamn times I have to tell you that too!" He exclaimed, his nostrils flaring. You wanted to feel bad, but your eyes only narrowed on him with a huff of your own.

"Oh! Sorry, I'm your biggest cock block of the century!" He narrowed his eyes at your statement. "That's not what I was sayin' and you know it," "Go fuck yourself, Negan." You spat, and that was the man's final straw. "You watch your tone with me, boy." He barked, and you flinched. He'd never raised his voice like that with you. You should have known it'd be coming one of these days.

In the beginning, Negan was so gentle and careful with you. He'd give you space when you needed it, all while keeping his eyes on you at all times. Making sure his men and women were treating you well. He'd talk with you, make you smile, and laugh. He'd treat you kindly and respect you. Even in these dark times, he was a beacon of light. A man that actually respected your chosen pronouns - despite what you were "supposed to be". Any of the Saviors that would misgender you, or call you slurs, he'd take care of them personally.

Negan was always so kind to you. If his sarcasm was too much he'd do his best to tone it down with you, or at least let you know when he was joking with a simple "that was a joke, by the way." He wanted nothing more than for you to let him in, but you were so stubborn. He could tell that even before the apocalypse you weren't an easy-trusting person, yet he respected that. You shouldn't trust people, even though he wished you would trust him.

Recently, though. It was getting harder and harder for you both. Negan was fighting with keeping his two current communities together - The Kingdom and Hilltop. He was too busy leading and you were too busy pulling away from him, which pissed him off to no extent. He wanted you to understand that he loved you, he really did.

Negan was staring down at you, and you coward - just the slightest. Watching as his chest heaved and his eyes burnt holes into you. "You ever speak to me like that again, I'll make you wish you never did." He snarled, and you felt your chest tighten with panic and anxiety. Like maybe you stepped on his toes too many times over the years and your attempts at keeping yourself safe from his inevitable fall only pushed him away from you. It wasn't until this that you finally realized how much you missed that stupidly obnoxious smile of his.

"Negan," you frowned, and he shook his head. "You've tried me too much over the past few months. I am done being nice to you," he stated, but he didn't move, and that almost scared you more than what he was saying to you. "I'm sorry," you muttered, and he nodded. "You better fucking be." He snarled, and you nodded back. Your head dipping down. Noticing how white his knuckles were around his bat, still.

What you were doing now was risky as hell. One wrong move and that bat could very well cave in your skull, but you still, through thick, trusted him. You reached for his hand, fingers brushing over his knuckles and it made him flinch. The man inhaled sharply before his eyes flicked down to your hand. He wanted to reach out and grab you. Pull you against him and show you just how much he cared for you while also reminding you who ran the show here, but he didn't move. Not yet, anyway.

Negans eyes watched as you grabbed his fist. His muscles relaxed under your touch, but it didn't stop the anger that coursed his veins. It wasn't until you looked up at him that he felt those emotions slowly dissipate. Maybe he was being too harsh on you, maybe he needed to give you space. "I care about you too, you know." He raised his brows a little at the confession. A nearly unnoticeable reaction that told so many emotions in the man's eyes. He just never assumed that he would hear you admit such a thing. Especially not after he yelled at you.

"I'm sorry I was pushing you away. I just get scared. I was getting so close with you and," You chewed on your bottom lip, and he nodded. "I get it," he told you, and your eyes bounced between his. "I pushed you, I wasn't here, you probably think I'm dead anytime we show up late to the compound," he told you, reaching up to brush his knuckles over your jaw, and you nodded with a soft chuckle. "Yeah, unfortunately, I do." He smiled, "Well, I'm not dead, and even if the apocalypse wasn't amongst us, I could be killed by anything. A car, a rabid dog, lightning," he chuckled, and you let yourself smile. Just a little, but it was enough for him.

He was silent again for a moment before he leaned forward a little more. "I want you to trust me," He spoke, his voice low. It was just for you to hear. His eyes scanned yours for any sign of discomfort. "Do you trust me?" He asked, and you nodded. "I have since you found me," he smiled at that confession. His obnoxious grin graced his lips that showed off his stupidly perfect teeth. "Now, that's what I wanna hear." And you knew everything you said went straight to his head.

He leaned in a little more, but you didn't move. Only watched as his smile faded just a little, and he set Lucille on the table beside you. One hand held your waist while the other cupped the side of your face. Can I kiss you? is the look you read in his eyes, and you nodded. Even if he didn't ask the question out loud, you practically knew what he was thinking. That small nod was all the taller man needed before he was leaning forward to press a kiss to your lips.

You had expected the kiss to be rough at first, but it wasn't. He was slow, making sure not to scare you off. It wasn't until you grabbed his waist with one of your own hands and the other snaked through the hair on the back of his head that he deepened it and got more hungry with it. Lips pressed firmly against yours until you were each practically kissing with your teeth. He's wanted this for so long and he wasn't about to stop with just a kiss. As long as you were okay with it all.

He pushed you forward towards the bed in your room with a groan. The backs of your legs came in contact with the piece of furniture, buckling from the contact and he was quick to push you down onto the mattress. Giving you a few longing kisses before pulling away from you. "Gonna go shut the door, no need having anyone see us," he told you with a cheesy grin. Dipping back down to kiss your stomach before turning back for the door.

His steps were quick, and you could tell how excited he was that this was finally happening. It made you smile a little knowing he's waited for you for so long. If anything, it had you more excited about the situation at hand. You wanted to take your shirt off, but that familiar feeling of insecurity rose up the back of your neck when you remembered the world fell to shit before you could exactly get top surgery. Or bottom. You were in a body that you hated, and you didn't tell Negan, but it was partially the reason why you didn't want to exactly pursue a relationship with him.

He was quick to distract you with his voice, though. Eyes drifted up to meet his when he stood in front of you. "You still trust me, handsome?" He asked, and that simple word had some of those insecurities dwindling. "Of course I do," you hummed with a smile, scooting further up the bed and he smiled back. "Good, I'll go easy on you," He bellowed, "But you got some learning to do after yelling at me like that earlier." He told you, and you felt your stomach churn at his loose threat. Swallowing thickly when you noticed the bat that he carried everywhere with him was in his right hand. Covered in barbed wire that you knew would sting if you so much as pricked your finger on it.

"Lay down," he ordered and you did as told. Even if your eyes watched that bat with a fearful gaze. He noticed it and only smiled. "Don't you worry, baby. I won't hurt ya, I promise." He told you, leaning down to press another kiss to your lips that eased your worries away. "Have I ever hurt ya?" He asked, and you shook your head just as quickly as he asked the question. A soft 'no' fell from your lips which only made him smile back. "Exactly, ain't starting now either," He hummed, leaning down to kiss the shell of your ear, a hand resting on your stomach. "Unless you want me to," he growled into your ear and you felt yourself shudder.

Before you could answer him he was positioning himself to the side of you. One hand parted your thighs while the other brought Lucille between your legs. He watched what he was doing carefully, but his smug smile didn't fade from his face once. "God, you both are so beautiful, so handsome, you know that?" He asked, and you opened your mouth to ask what he was doing, but your lips fell shut. Worried he might punish you further for asking questions.

You gasped when he brought the base of Lucille to your clothed mound. Gasping through parted lips while gripping the sheets. Sighing when his lips kissed your throat. "You gonna tell me to go fuck myself again?" He asked, and you had half a mind to say you might, but he pressed the bat against you in a way that had you hissing. Your brows furrowed as the man ground the object against you in a steady motion. "Answer when spoken to," he said against your throat, feeling his facial hair burn at your skin and you couldn't help but wonder what it would feel like between your thighs.

"No, no I won't," you muttered with a shaky breath as he rubbed you just right. "Good boy," he cooed, and you felt your skin prick at his words. "You wanna thank Lucille? She's making you feel good too," he purred, and when you didn't answer he bit at your shoulder. "Thank you, Lu-Lucille," you blurted, and he let out another breathy chuckle against your throat. "Good," he purred, nudging your jaw with his nose. "Now, my gorgeous, gorgeous boy. Tell me what you want."

It felt like he was slowly stripping you from your dignity. Pursing your lips when you thought about protesting, but the way he was pressing that stupid bat against you had your body aching for something more. "I want your hands to touch me, that stupid-" you let out a hiss when he pressed the base of the bat against you rather roughly. "Instead of Lucille. I want to feel your hands against my skin, Negan," you breathed out, and you'd never seen him look so smug.

The man gently reached over to lean Lucille against the wall and he was hovering over you in an instant. "You're doing so good," he praised, and you felt your body ache at his words. You haven't heard praise in what felt like forever. Sure, he's praised you as you worked, but this felt oh so different. More intimate and meaningful.

His hands went to the bottom of your shirt, but when your own came to stop his, he looked up at you with a look that you'd never seen before. "I told you, I won't hurt you. Physically or emotionally, you can trust me on that."He told you, and you nodded, pulling your hands back in order for him to pull your shirt over your head. Looking at the bandages that bound your chest. Frowning at how tightly wound they looked on your body. "Honey," his voice was sweet, "We're gonna have to find you something safer than these bandages." He told you, leaning down to kiss your sternum and you felt your eyes prick with tears. You've never had anyone offer to help you feel comfortable in your own skin, and it had your heart yearning.

You grabbed his head and pulled him up for a kiss. The man smiling when you did so. He loved how needy you seemed right now. He'd never seen you like this. Your walls were still up, but a door was unlocked just for Negan. The leader was able to open it and enter into the fortress that you built yourself to hide away in for God only knows how long.

He didn't dare touch the bandages. His fingers ran over the top and bottom of them gently, in order to show that he cared. Plus, to look at the angry marks that dug into your skin and made his heartache. He knows this is how you've been binding your chest since the beginning, and maybe even longer. He wanted to ask if you sleep like that, if you ever give yourself a break from the tightly wound bandages, but he didn't. That was a conversation for another time.

His lips came to meet your own in a tender and passionate kiss. As if to tell you with his lips that he was there to show you a good time. He wanted you to enjoy this just as much as he did. Even if he was going to tease the hell out of you for that mini outburst earlier. He simply can't let that slide. Though, in a way, he was. He would do so much worse to anyone that wasn't you. He wouldn't be kissing and fucking them good. He'd probably be picking out a spot for them on that chain-linked fence that wrapped around the compound.

He grumbled while your hands reached up to move his leather jacket over his shoulders. Negan shrugged them so the jacket would slide off easier. Before tossing it to the side with a hum. His own hands were dancing along your skin. Calloused fingertips brushing against the soft skin of your stomach, hips, the skin of your arms, and your collar bone. One hand finally wrapping around your throat. His thumb felt your pulse, and how it sped up when he pressed a little harder. "Neg'," you moaned into his mouth, and he ate that noise up like candy. Pulling back in order to look at you with that wolfish smirk.

That's what he was. A wolf. He was always thirsty for blood and violence. The leader of his pack of other vicious and mangey wolves. You were simply a little lost lamb that he brought in. He liked to think that he had you wrapped around his finger, but everyone, even deep down himself. They all knew you were the one who had the big bad wolf wrapped around your little finger. He'd kneel for you out of respect if you truly asked him to. He'd do a lot for you if you asked. He trusted you more than anyone in this compound, and he hoped one day you would realize that.

"Can I take your pants off?" He asked, and you knew he was just trying to be sweet and not scare you after the whole shirt situation, but you couldn't help and roll your eyes at the way he said it. He asked so bluntly, so Negan.

"Only if you take your shirt off."

He smiled fondly at your words and did as told. Reaching behind himself to grab the thin and worn fabric before pulling it over his head. Noticing how quick your eyes were to lock on the muscles of his shoulders, then to his chest, and down to the hairs that littered down his stomach into his pants. He was so gorgeous, really. His body told stories without words. Tattoos that you wondered if they all had meaning behind them; or none at all. The scars that were scattered along his chest, arms, and stomach were new and old. They told his character. How strong he really was and the struggles he's seemed to go through his whole life.

You watched closely as his muscles flinched when you reached out to touch a bigger scar on his side. Your eyes darted up to meet his, and he had a warning look in his eyes. Watching your next moves cautiously and carefully. He trusted you though, and you could tell.

The pads of your fingers brushed over it, feathery light. The man smiled faintly when you leaned forward to press a soft kiss over it. Allowing his eyes to flutter shut with a small hum. "Don't get too sappy on me," he grumbled, and you chuckled, licking up his left pectoral to his collar bone and the groan he released was heavenly. "Who said I was a sap?" You asked, biting down on his shoulder just like he did yours early. Both of you marked one another with your teeth and it had him ecstatic.

He pushed you back down on the bed, flipping your body over so you were now on your stomach. His hands reached down for your pants, hooking his fingers under the hem of the clothing while kissing your shoulders. One on the left, then one on the right. "May I?" He asked, and you nodded, raising your ass a little which had his chest vibrating with a laugh.

He pulled your pants down, quickly. Your underwear coming with them which made you gasp at the feeling of cool air on you. "God, you're such a pretty boy, you know that? So handsome, all for me." He snickered, kissing the back of your thigh before sucking. Leaving a violet mark behind. The sight making him grumble as he left a few more marks on your thighs. A large palm resting on your ass.

You weren't sure what to expect, but it definitely wasn't your body sliding over the mattress. Your lower half now on his lap. "Now, for that tone of voice you used with me earlier," he spoke, a smile curling at his lips when you looked over your shoulder. "Negan," you tried to plead and he shook his head. His large hand kneaded at the flesh. His other hand reached to undo his belt while unbuttoning and unzipping his pants. "Another peep out of you, and I walk out that door. Got it?" He asked, and you nodded. You knew he would, too. He wasn't one to throw around loose threats.

He raised his hand up and brought it down with a loud 'slap' against your skin. A hiss leaves your throat at the sensation. Burying your face in the bed with a wince. "What do you have to say?" He asked, and you didn't answer. "Answer when spoken to," he growled out, reaching over to grab the front of your throat, squeezing lightly. "Thought you said not to talk?" He slapped your ass again. Harder than before, and you lurched forward with a groan. "I'm sorry!" You shouted, and he grinned. "That's what I thought." He hummed with a light chuckle.

He kneaded at the flesh of your ass again. Humming while thinking. "Now," he stared, parting your thighs. "If you behave well, be a good boy for me, I'll fuck you no strings attached."He told you, reaching between your legs to press two thick fingers between your folds. "If you don't," He pressed a finger inside you, the other rubbing over your clit. Watching how you writhed beneath his touch. "I draw this out and well, you don't get anything out of it and I simply leave. Understand?" He asked, and you nodded, "I understand," he smiled, curling his finger inside you before pulling his hand away. Shifting in order to put you back on your back on bed.

Negan stood in front of the bed, pulling his jeans and boxers off before climbing back between your legs. "Now, repeat after me," he hummed. "Negan, I will not talk to you like that ever again. I will do as I am told, and if I leave the compound I will be sure to tell you and have either you or someone else go along." You muttered the words back to him, and he shook his head with a tut, grabbing your jaw with strong fingers. His dark eyes scanning yours with a grin. "A little louder, my prince," he toyed, and you glared a little at the nickname. If it weren't how you ached for him you would have cursed him out. "Negan," you spoke, and he tilted his head, listening as you said the rest of the spiel. "That's better," he told you, leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. "Now how about we reward you for that."

Negan pushed your legs apart with a hum. Two of his fingers pressing inside of you which had you tensing. "Fuck, Negan," you moaned, and he chuckled, kissing your jaw with a sigh. "God, you're gonna feel absolutely delicious." He told you with a snicker.

He said a few more words for you to repeat back to him. Finally, rewarding you by removing his fingers and positioning himself with your entrance. He stared at you for a moment. A look in his eyes that had you a little worried. Wondering if maybe he was regretting this. A wave of insecurities rushing over yourself. What if he didn't want you? He just wanted the idea of you. You were already so exposed, you'd have to leave if he just stopped. Join one of the other communities and never look at Negan again.

"You do trust me, right?" The concern that dripped from his voice caught you off guard. Your eyes racing to his as he stared back at you. He looked almost scared, and that scared you. You've never seen him lower his own walls. It was like you were seeing inside him and all you could do was offer him a smile. Reaching out to wrap your arms around his neck to pull him close. "Negan," he waited for you to continue. His eyes begging you to carry on. "If I didn't trust you I wouldn't be here right now. I would have left the night you brought me here. I trust you more than I would like to admit," He told you, leaning forward to brush your lips against his. Negan leaning forward to lock his lips with yours. Pushing you back into the bed before finally pushing himself within you.

He was right, too. You did feel absolutely Devine. He held you like this for a while. Feeling as your body tensed from the intrusion. Your hand tugged at his hair while the other clawed at his back. He didn't break from the kiss, though. He needed to kiss you. To eat you up. He could if you would only let him.

Once you rolled your hips he was sure to be steady as his hips rolled against you. Working his way up to a slower pace until he was confident enough to start snapping his hips against your own. Each snap of his hips had you grabbing harder, and harder at him. His hands were grabbing at your hips with a force that you were sure would leave two hand shaped bruises.

He truly screwed you like he meant it. He's wanted this since the moment he laid eyes on you, and the fact that he waited for this long drove him crazy. His hips moved faster the faster your breathing got. Listening to every noise that indicated he was doing something right. his hands pleasuring you just as much as your body pleasured him.

He never truly thought he would ever get to have sex with you. With how reserved and closed off you always were. Anytime you flirted back with him that was enough to settle his wandering mind, but it was never enough. He wanted you to be his, and now he had you. Or at least he hoped this wasn't just a one-time thing. Honestly, if you never wanted to have sex again he wouldn't care. So long as he could call you his. If you didn't want that, he'd try his best to push the hurt feelings aside and accept it, though. He hoped you wanted something between the two of you to grow. The way you looked at him gave him at least an ounce of hope for a future with you.

"Negan," you cried, and he nodded his head. "Let go for me, baby," he panted into your ear, and you nodded. Kissing and then burying your face into his shoulder. Letting out a cry of his name while your orgasm took the reins. Your hips rolling to meet his thrusts.

Once you fell limp, Negan was quick to thrust faster within you. Chasing his own high while he panted and muttered sweet nothings into your ear. It wasn't until his hips started staggering that he pulled out of you. His hand taking over the action of stimulation before he came onto your stomach. Stroking out his orgasm with a loud grumble that erupted from his chest. His eyebrows knitted tightly together.

He fell onto the bed beside you. His chest heaving with yours. The both of you lying there in silence. His eyes were shut, but his smile was still there. "I could hit that smile off your face," you muttered without even realizing it, and he raised his brows. Eyes still shut. "Getting mouthy again already?" you cursed yourself in your head. "No, it's just how I admire, you cocky bastard," you sighed out, leaning over to press a kiss to his shoulder. Watching the way his smile grew toothy at the small action and the banter. "God, that mouth of yours," he sighed with a throaty chuckle. "If I didn't know any better, you want me to go harder on you next time." He spoke, opening one eye to peak over with a smirk.

Next time. You smiled softly at the thought of doing this again with him. "Well," you leaned up, looking at the mess on your stomach with a sigh which he looked at as well. "Only if you ain't as goddamn messy." He snickered lightly, sitting up to kiss your cheek with a dramatic 'Mwah' sound. "Anything for you, baby boy."

[lauraisakilljoy]

I know most of the käärijä-related things I’ve posted/reblogged are literally memes but on a serious note all those posts about our silly little finnish man make me so happy. for years I've been struggling with body dysmorphia and disordered eating (especially around this time of year) and it's fucking terrible but everyone hyping up käärijä and his normal-looking body is just so nice to see. he's really out there saying everyone should just wear whatever they want no matter their body type + his fans love him exactly the way he looks and are being so body positive. hugging all of you rn