#but I’m always happy to discuss ideas and take the odd one on here and there!

[covvend]

Hello! I tried to DM you and couldn't get through, I was wondering if I might view your commission prices? Your work is gorgeous.

Hey! Sorry about that, I disabled messages a while back because I got sick of bots messaging me :,) I’ve opened them back up so feel free to flick me a message if you’re still interested in discussing comms!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

the girl next door 23

Warnings: this fic will include elements, some dark, such as age gap, manipulation, chronic illness, noncon/dubcon, coercion, and other untagged triggers. Please take this into account before proceeding. It is up to curate your online consumption safely.

Summary: A new neighbour moves in and upends your already disarrayed life.

Author’s Note: Please feel free to leave some feedback, reblog, and jump into my asks. I’m always happy to discuss with you and riff on idea. As always, you are cherished and adored! Stay safe, be kind, and treat yourself.

This lewk but silverfox

You can barely eat. You’re strung up in shock and shame, your stomach mulching as your nerves curdle. You only really have the toast, unable to stomach the omelet or hash that came with it. No one else seems discouraged by the day’s events.

As you wait for the cue to leave, Bucky signals to the server; a different one than before. They return with a container that Bucky offers to you. You take it, at first confused, then scrape your leftovers into it. You thank him as you close up the lid and rest it in your lap.

Finally, Steve pays the bill and you’re free to stand up. The jacket hangs heavily from your shoulders as you follow behind them through the restaurant. You watch your feet, too afraid to face the other diners. Are they judging you? Was it one of them who said something to the server?

You emerge into the sunlight and Steve’s voice buzzes in your ears. Most of the conversation at the table was nothing more than garbling to you. You just can’t make sense of any of this. You don’t know how but you know everything is going to change and that’s scary. You’ve only ever been with your mom. Now, he’s attached to her. Maybe, it means you’ll have to go.

“Over there...” Steve points, “nice spot.”

You follow the length of his arm to the little patch of grass on the other side of the lot. There’s a tree and a large stone surrounded by colourful petals. It’s a cute little space with a picnic table on the green blades.

“Just a few pictures,” Steve takes out his phone and hands it to Bucky, “this is a day we don’t wanna forget, huh, honey?”

Your mom grabs onto Steve’s hand and he almost winces. He squeezes and brings her with him across the lined tarmac. You shuffle behind them as Bucky holds the phone awkwardly. You cross the expanse of the lot and Steve brings your mother beside him to pose for a picture. You suppose they would need wedding photos even if it’s all a bit odd.

Bucky aims the lens and you hear the shuttering noise of the frames. Your mom is smiling again. It’s such a strange sight. You hug your leftovers and watch silently.

“How about we get both my girls in here?” Steve beckons to you, “a family picture.”

You blanch and furrow your brow. You look one way then the other and shrug. Bucky offers to take the leftovers, balancing it in one hand as he keeps the phone in his other. You reluctantly trod across the grass.

As you near, another waft of Steve’s cologne tickles your nose. You look down and slowly slip off his jacket and offer it up. He takes it and swiftly pulls it back on.

“Thanks, kiddo,” he says and pulls you against his side, your mother against his other, his arms spread wide around you both. “Say cheese.”

You face the camera and you know the first picture is bad. You must look startled. Your vision comes into focus and you see Bucky and the phone. You make yourself smile as Steve’s hand slides down your arm and instead grips your side, just where it’s smallest.

You stand for a few more as his fingertips curl into your flesh. Finally, he’s happy with it and Bucky drops his arm. Steve drags his hand away, brushing over your skirt in a way that makes you quiver. His touch leaves a hot tingling along your side.

You take your food back from Bucky and he hands the phone to Steve. He gives you a long look after.

“You wanna ride back with me?” He asks.

You nod. You just want to go home.

“Stevie,” your mom’s hand shakes as she latches onto Steve’s arm, “how about we... drive around for a while?”

“Uh, sure,” he answers, “sounds good. You okay with getting her home?”

“Yep,” Bucky frowns, as if annoyed at the redundant question. “I think I can handle it.”

“Don’t give him a hard time,” your mom snips at you. “Just go home.”

“Come on,” Bucky’s already turning away, “let the newlyweds enjoy their marital bliss.”

You nod and quickly spin to follow him. You almost admire his indifference to it all. The way he dismisses them both. It does make you wonder though, if he’s friends with Steve, why does he seem so agitated? Maybe he’s just as confused as you.

You go to his car and he opens the door for you. You thank him as you get in. It’s a nice gesture.

You stare through the windshield as he gets in. He’s quiet as the music comes back on. He leaves it and backs out of the spot. He drives by your mom and her husband. Your parents? Your eyes meet Steve’s as he stares, his hand running down his lapel. He doesn’t look as happy any more.

You shrink back into the seat, keeping the container just off your bare legs. When you get home, you’re throwing this dress out. You doubt you’ll ever have a reason to wear it again.

🏠

Bucky drops you off at the house. Walking up, knowing it's empty, you feel eerie. Everything is out of sorts. The world has tilted on its axis overnight.

You put your leftovers in the fridge and change, stuffing the dress into the bottom of the bin. You wander through the small house. You don't know what to do with yourself. Without your mom to tell you what to do, or what you're doing wrong, you're listless.

Finally, you sit down with your table and notebook, trying to center your energy on a page. As you touch the pencil to the paper, the tip snaps. You sigh and place the pencil down in the middle crease. You stretch your fingers and close them.

You just can't be still. You sharpen the pencil and tuck it into the book, hugging it under your arm. You put your shoes in and head off without destination. You just can't be in that house alone. Not right now.

You're uneasy at first as you stroll through the streets. You watch over your shoulder for the HOA as you go around corners. You come to the little bridge behind the house with the archway wrapped in ivy.

You stop at the peak of the bridge and bend back the cover of your sketchbook. You take the pencil and eye the small pond beneath. You mimic the ripples in graphite, etching on the moss and the leaves floating, and a few tadpoles beneath the surface. You don't often do still lifes, you never much leave your room, but it's calming to be out in the world and have a focal point.

A pebble drops into the water with a plop, sending an echo of circles through it. You step back, barely saving your book from slipping over the edge. You turn to face the figure at the end of the bridge. It's a boy. Well, he's probably your age so... a man?

He's strangely familiar. Reddish brown hair, warm dark eyes, and a crooked grin. You nearly gasp as he says your name like a question.

"How..." you close up your book and back up.

"Hey, I didn't know you were still around."

"Who?"

"Peter," he smiles, "how's your grandma?"

"My..." you shake your head. "She's dead."

"I mowed her lawn?" He offers as your confusion remains sewn into your forehead.

"Oh."

"You always had your colouring books."

"Yeah," you sniff. "Am I in your way?" You flatten yourself against the railing.

"Nope," he comes up the bridge, "so... you draw?"

"Uh, yeah," you glance towards the water.

"Nice, I'm more into photography," he raises hisbhand and shows a camera in his hand, "was coming to try to catch the frog that hangs out. You seen him?"

"Mm, no," you murmur, "I should go."

"I don't mind," he says, "if you stick around."

You hesitate, the bridge creaking under your feet. You think of the empty house, of the morning wedding and the restaurant. You're in no hurry to go back to any of it. You nod and turn around, "okay." You ppen your sketch book as he comes up beside you, a foot away as he fiddles with his camera.

"Living with my Aunt May now so... maybe we'll see each other around," he says as he switches the lens, "it won't feel so lonely around here.”

[starwarsbean]

Love Against The Odds

Pairing: Tech x F! Reader.

Warnings: Fake Dating! Alternative Universe! Pretend Dating! Smut & Fluff! Sexual Tension! NSFW. 🫶

A/N: Hi everyone!!!! This is my first fanfiction! I decided I wanted to read more alternate universe of the bad batch. So, I took it into my own hands. This is a tech/reader series fanfic. If I make any mistakes please let me know. I hope you all enjoy reading. 18+! <3

Summary: Tech is a successful CEO of a technology company. His commitment to his work has given him success in his career. However, he is not interested in trying love. Tech neglecting the important parts of life. His brothers urge him to give it a shot, as they believe finding a romantic partner will make him happy. Tech comes up with a brilliant idea to fake date to trick his brothers.

Chapter 1

You were at your day job taking care of files you needed. You were a busy lawyer, handling multiple cases a day and juggling deadlines and meetings. You know how hardworking and organized, always striving to provide the best legal advice and representation for your clients. However, you were also valued having a good work-life balance, making time to make dinner every night and catch up on your favorite shows. Although you are focused on work, you also have a soft for romance. Reading different love novels and engaging in romance films. Your compassionate side, always making an effort to understand other people's perspectives and try to help them the best you could. You thought it’s been a while since you’ve been on a date. Remembering the last time you were out with your ex boyfriend Anakin Skywalker. He sure was a great boyfriend in the beginning. It just became to difficult when you both didn’t want to try. Both of you mutually breaking things off. The next time you go on a date it will definitely be a good time.

You decided to clear your mind back to work. You were working on a case, researching relevant laws and legal precedents, drafting briefs and petitions, and meeting with your client to discuss. You were making sure that deadlines were being met and that the case was progressing smoothly. Despite the intensity of your work, you felt fulfilled and satisfied with your role as a lawyer, enjoying the challenge of providing legal representation and helping people navigate tough situations. Realizing the time you see you have two messages from your two friends. Hera and Kanan texting you to meet them for dinner at a restaurant.

You were feeling tired but agreed to go anyway, wanting to make time for your friends and spend time socializing together. You text back saying you’ll meet them there. Before you leave the office you make sure your outfit looks decent. Your black office dress making your hips look amazing. Your breast cevlage revealing a bit. You take off your black flats and put on your black heels instead. You notice the time and hurry along. Thinking of how lucky Hera and Kanan are. They both have each other and are extremely in love. You watched them both fall in love in college. Reaching for the same textbook and their hands touching. Both of them locking eye contact with each other. It was like a scene from a romance movie. You hope one day you’re able to find a love like them.

You arrive at the restaurant. You squeal once you see them both. Hera pulling you into a hug and Kanan standing with his arms crossed. Pulling away from the hug, Kanan gives you a slight hug. Hera shakes her head at Kanan as you laugh.

“Guess somebody missed us?” Kanan said with a sly smile.

“Oh shut up! you know I always miss you both.” You say playfully rolling your eyes.

“Come on you two let’s eat. I’m starving.” Hera says walking into the restaurant.

You order your usual meal, enjoying the company of your friends. The conversation was catching up with work and spilling about the latest tv shows.

“So, Y/N has anyone caught your attention here at the restaurant?” Hera says with a smirk.

You look around the restaurant. The restaurant was filled with people your age but no one stood out to you. It was a crowd of people who just wanted a quick hook up. You turn your attention back to Hera and Kanan.

“Nope not a single person here. Nobody here is necessarily my type.” You say popping a piece of broccoli in your mouth.

“Oh Y/N you should go on a date soon! It’s been a while since you gone out. Have some fun.” Hera says looking at you.

Kanan looks at you both and laughs. Putting a piece of steak in his mouth.

“I do want to go out, but nobody here has caught my attention. If someone interesting comes to mind I’ll make a move.” You say with a smirk.

“There you go! Maybe next time you’ll get luckyyy.” Hera says laughing a bit.

“Mhmm maybe… I hope so.” You take a sip of your water while laughing a bit.

Kanan groans and shakes his head. Hera phone lights up and she rolls her eyes. Her smile drops as she texts back. Kanan looks at who Hera is messasging. He sighs and rolls his eyes. You notice the sense of annoyance.

“What happened? Is everything okay?” You ask worriedly.

“It’s just Heras boss. He’s always making her do last minute changes. Or if something isn’t perfect he makes her redo it. A pain in the ass I have to say.” Kanan says with annoyance in his voice.

“Yeah he’s a real pain the ass. He’s making my work harder, but I really want the promotion. He has high standards and high expectations of our work.” Hera says while typing a long email.

“That sounds pretty tough Hera. You can most definitely do it. Just try to keep a positive mindset on this.” You say taking a sip of your drink.

Kanan smiles at your kind response to his girlfriend and nods his head. He finishes his food and looks back at Hera who is still typing.

“Thank you Y/N. I appreciate you so much. In the email he’s asking so many questions about the dinner event I’m hosting at my place. He wants everything to be perfect.” Hera says.

“Is there a reason why” Kanan ask while raising an eyebrow.

“He just wants everything up to date. Which I understand but I have everything under control. He seriously needs to learn to trust his employees more.”

You remember how you had a boss like that. It was pretty difficult to do any work or have any sense of how to react to their control. Understandably a technology company must be hard to manage.

“Y/N are you free tomorrow night?” Hera puts her phone down and looks at you.

“Yeah, I am. Why?” You ask.

“Can you please come to my dinner event I’m hosting. I need your company and your support. I don’t know how I’ll manage being in the same room with so many people.” Hera says with pleading eyes.

“Hera, you can most definitely handle it. You’ll have me there.” Kanan says while grabbing her hand.

“I know but I really want Y/N to come. It’ll be fun. Please Y/N.” Hera says looking at you.

“Of course I’ll be there Hera.” You say.

Hera smiles at you agreeing to come to her dinner. Kanan smiles seeing Hera happy. You finish your dinner. Hera and Kanan paying the bill. You insist on paying the bill, but they beat you to it this time. You playfully roll your eyes.

“Have to be faster than that Y/N.” Kanan says with a sly smile

You laugh and shake your head. Hera grabs Kanan hand as you both walk outside the restaurant. Hera hugs you and thanks you for showing up for her tomorrow.

“I’ll be there Hera. I’ll make sure we’ll have some fun tomorrow.”

Hera tells you she will send you the details what time the dinner starts. You nod and wave bye to both of them. As you get home you pet one of your cats. Her name was Autumn. A pretty calico cat who most definitely spoiled. She purrs at your feet as you continue petting her. Making sure she has enough food and water. You eventually head to the shower and finish your routine. You lay in bed and get comfortable. Autumn comes in the room and sleeps at your feet. You smile falling asleep.

Thinking of how the dinner event was going to be like tomorrow.

[beezonia]

I’m in my ever after x twisted wonderland x monster high vibes again

I’m gonna spam and I’m not sorry!!!

Have some head cannons and I guess this is part one until I get time to write this fully and flesh the ideas out

———

Melody and Riddle do not get along at first, with melody’s music and riddles strictness they just don’t mesh well

Vill and Operetta both bond over their shared love off theatre, they tend to have jam sessions where they just sing their favourite songs

Jack, Leona, Cerise and Ramona become like siblings they are always fucking bickering especially Leona and Ramona

Maddie and ace are absolutely nuts together, they get up to all sorts of shit so beware of them

Malleus and Rochelle bond over their love for gargoyles and architecture they become quite close and Rochelle makes sure to invite Mal everywhere

Sebek and Duchess are a force to be reckoned with when they are together

Pls they will shout the house down and not care

Clawdeen gets put in Pomefiore and she gets so much inspiration from the students and their different styles

Draculara and sliver bond even if they have slightly opposing personalities.

Howleen and epel are force’s to be reckoned with especially with their teenage rebellion phases

Ginger and trey are absolutely best friends, they bake together, they visit cafes together. THEY ARE GLUED TO THE HIP

Frankie and MC bond over being accidental protagonists

Cleo and vill are like frenemies they love to compare jewellery though

iida and melody end up making like a mixtape together at some point

Crowley makes sure to get melody to DJ at any big party nrc has

Bunny and cater become fast friends, he helps bunny with her anxiety

Azul and meeshel slowly learn to trust each other and become good friends

Operetta plays music specifically on a Tuesday afternoon at the monstro lounge

Floyd becomes very interested in venus to him she’s like a very beautiful sea plant

Iida meets robecca and is extremely intrigued by how she functions so it ends up with him asking her a bunch of questions and one is if he could meet her father

Raven and jamil get along quite well and just end up ranting to each other sometimes

Kalim and Blondie are the ultimate party animals especially if briar is there as well

Lilia and faybelle have this sort of familial connection due to her being able to sense extremely strong fae

He takes her under his wing (her and sebek argue a hell of a lot but it’s okay)

Cupid is sort of a mix of happy and scared, her friends from both schools are seeing both her sides

She and cater start up a podcast thing (pretty much like the one in why do ghouls fall in love)

Cupid and rook are an especially odd pair, he flirts and she does not like how cheap he sounds

Briar finally gets the courage to tell apple exactly how she feels with the Diasomnia gang backing her up

She actually starts hanging around a lot more with cerise and lizzie

Lizzie and riddle get along like a house on fire

It’s a lot of “off with your head”

Alistair meets with bunny, elissabat and jade every now and again to discuss the literature of their worlds

Ashlynn and Hunter are a lot more open with their relationship in twisted wonderland

The light music club becomes extremely more chaotic when jackson, operetta and Raven join

They hold concerts every two weeks on the Thursday

Blondie vlogs her experience

Ginger gets inspiration for new recipes

Briar throws the coolest parties with MC’s and Divius’s help

Kitty and Chenya are long lost siblings?!

Raven slowly heals with the help of trein who becomes like a parent to her

Robecca makes some cool new stuff for herself and ortho

Melody gets to make new tunes that don’t have to be a specific sound

Clawdeen and divius are the event stylists

He even asks her to collaborate with him for his next collection

Frankie learns even more new things

Whisp is here to cause trouble along with valentine

Gigi ends up becoming close friends with jamil and kalim

Jillian shows of her climbing skills and everyone is like we need her on the team

Cerise gets to join the track team without being scared of her heritage

Overall most of the kids get to heal and have a normal teenage life (except for the overblots and what not)

[true-blue-sonic]

❓️ :)

❓ any WIP snippet you want!

This is an odd one: I have a draft for a short Soulmate AU story in my folder, haha. The idea there is that people have heterochromatic eyes, with one colour being of their own and one being that of their soulmate. Except Espio's got two golden eyes... and thus he Has No Soulmate, very drama, much suck, he pretends it doesn't affect him so much. So I hope you enjoy this ^-^

~~~~

With a glower Espio stares at his reflection in the mirror, washing his face and studying his eyes. His two eyes, with no difference in colour between them; both a golden yellow, both honeyed and marvelled at by many interested in him and neither matched by any of those people.

“It might not mean anything, really,” Vector had assured him with a bright smile, his one orange and one brown eye kind and fond. “Some people never find their soulmates, but they do find someone else, and they are happy together. And some people do find their soulmate, and they find they don’t like the loss of freedom and break up, and they are happy too. Some people have the same as you, no soulmate at all, and they either never find anyone or do find someone and are also happy. And some people-“

“Yes, I get it,” Espio had interrupted, bristling more than he would have liked himself to.

“I’m just saying you don’t seem to be very open for the idea of falling in love in the first place, Es.”

“Indeed I am not.”

“Well, maybe you should be. It’s wonderful, to be in love.” And that had been the final end of the discussion, and it still makes Espio hiss when he thinks about it. He does not even want a dumb soulmate; it can only be stifling and irking and taking away his attention from his job and tasks he considers so much more important...

That had been his stance on things ever since learning about the prospect of soulmates in the first place, at least, and though the thought the universe does not even have a soulmate out there for him stings, during lonely nights and quiet days he is content.

Or so he always said.

“Thanks for coming too, Espio,” Sonic beams at him, before his half-emerald, half-jade gaze drops down to his chilidog-sauce-covered fingers the chameleon is staring at as well and he quickly licks it away with a giggle as Espio grimaces. “Sorry, heh. But I hadn’t even had time to ask you how you are doing so far! Having fun at the party?”

With a nod Espio hums. The Blue Blur’s birthday party had been quite a struggle to plan out; not because of any unwillingness on everyone’s parts, but because the speedy hedgehog is simply that adept at finding out what they are doing on any other day, plus being plenty fast and capable of showing up in unexpected places within seconds on top. “I am glad the planning went well,” the chameleon thus says. “And that you are having fun, as well. It is your party, after all.”

“I’m having a blast! And I had no idea you guys had anything in store!” Sonic beams back at him. “Heh, and even Eggman showed up to wish me a happy birthday- a good day, really.”

“Hm hm.” Surely Eggman did not show up only for that alone, and Espio suppresses a frown at the memories of being frozen in time, short as it had lasted- well, to be fair, it had not lasted any time at all within the timeless void Eggman had banished everyone to. But Sonic saved the day as usual, and thus he can only be happy.

Eyes already firmly trained on another unattended chilidog on the table Sonic shoots him a little smile from the corner of his mouth. “You’re sitting quite alone here.”

“Don’t I always,” Espio retorts back; sure, he is isolating himself quite a bit once Vector’s and Charmy’s shenanigans stopped being fun and started being irking, but he reasons the Blue Blur knows that about him by now.

“Why don’t you try mingling with some of the others guests who are less likely to drive you nuts?”

“Like whom.”

“Ah- hmm-“ Narrowed bi-coloured green eyes trail over the grassy field they had planned the surprise in, Espio’s normal golden gaze following it. Everyone is chatting and mingling, clearly having fun... “Hm! Do you know Silver?” Sonic speaks up, and the chameleon shrugs at the unfamiliarity of the name.

“I do not believe we have met, no.”

“He’s a buddy of mine too! Met him a while ago, fought each other, went on some adventures, sparred in that white void just now, he’s great.”

“That sounds lovely,” Espio deadpans back.

“Yup!! Heh, I think he is isolating himself as well, actually. Says he doesn’t really know what to do with so many people around.”

“That sounds like me, then.”

With a little grin Sonic bounces away. “He’s over in the little forest over there, if you want to look for him. And if you do see him, tell him I said hi!”

“Yes, of course. Have a good day, Sonic.”

“Will do bye!!” And with that the speedster dashes away, unassuming chilidog getting snatched and people laughing and singing Happy Birthday in the distance as Espio shakes his head. Sonic truly can be too enthusiastic for his own good at times... and he does not even want to meet with some new person. Probably also someone with heterochromic eyes, with the promise of a soulmate in one, someone who will pity him for the fact he has no such thing, he notes bitterly to himself before he can help it... before he shakes his head with a grunt. He is above all that, after all, and no matter what this Silver thinks of him and his two completely normal golden eyes it is not his problem. And besides, maybe this Silver is a calm, even-tempered, laid-back and pleasantly quiet person-

Actually, Espio interrupts himself in that train of thought, that seems to be almost impossible if this Silver is also friends with Sonic.

Sighing deeply the chameleon gets up, stretching himself out and rubbing one eye. It is nice, to sit here in the sun; but stretching his legs and going on a walk sounds nice as well. Not to mention Sonic will pester him about talking to Silver... If he just goes to that little forest for a walk he can say he at least tried to meet that person and missed him, and if he does come across him he can keep it at useless small talk and other such nonsense before making his escape. Yes, Espio nods, setting a brisk pace towards the swaying trees in the distance. No matter which scenario, it’ll be exactly the way he likes it.

Finding himself in the small forest before long – more a glorified collection of trees than a real forest – Espio permits a small smile to form on his face. With the foliage blocking most of the noises from the birthday party in the distance he can focus on the sounds of nature around him: the birdsong and the rustling of leaves in the wind and-

Something akin to a crash, and a loud one at that.

Freezing up Espio lets his fingers trail over the kunai always hidden in his glove cuffs, listening intently to the noises around him. An animal, most likely, or a robot, unfortunately not that unlikely, or-

“Ow! Owwwww.”

...A child?

“Silver, you've got to be more careful,” a voice rings out inbetween the trees a bit distantly, the chameleon’s tail flicking as he inches closer with something stirring in his chest he can’t exactly place. “You can’t keep getting yourself stuck in bushes, that’s just dumb. And they’ll laugh at you if they find out."

Brow furrowing at the hint of sadness intermixing the disappointed tone Espio scuffles to the place he can hear the voice from, peeking past a handful of bushes at the source... which is a small grey hedgehog hopelessly entangled in a bush, the two long quills flowing from his back and getting tugged at uselessly by... hands adorned with cyan circles? “Okay, so this is a bit of a situation,” the child - or rather teenager, because he's not that small - speaks again, grunting as he twists his head around; with the awkward way he is sitting Espio can’t even see what his face looks like. “So maybe-“

“Excuse me,” the chameleon interrupts, aiming to step up to the anthro- and stiffening as a growl resounds and the child begins fussing and squirming instead with the same odd cyan colour rising up all around him. “Wait- sorry! I do not mean you harm, I wish to help you-"

“Who are you!” the anthro snaps at him... rather clumsily, considering Espio can barely see a hint of his face staring up at him.

“My name is Espio, and I presume you are Silver, and now stop twisting like that before you get any brambles stuck in your face next,” Espio retorts, unexpectedly forceful; but he has plenty of experience with Charmy and his shenanigans, and thus he knows very well how to be firm with someone. “I wish to help you, but you need to sit still.”

A huff resounding the other fusses some more, but it pipes down soon enough, the realisation he is hopelessly stuck presumably having struck him. “...Okay. But if you hurt me-!"

“I have no intention to, what with you being a friend of Sonic and all.” Carefully sitting next to him Espio lets his fingers trail over the thick branches wrapped around grey quills, a little smile forming on his face at the way two tiny ears perk up.

“Oh, you know Sonic too?”

“Indeed I do,” Espio hums back, touching his lips with a deep frown replacing the little grin; he hardly smiles, so why... Shaking that thought away he quickly hums, grabbing his kunai after all and carefully moving to cut through the tinier twigs and twines first. “Indeed, he is a companion of the Chaotix Detective Agency which I am a part of as well. We helped plan his birthday party- though I do not recall inviting you.”

A laugh which makes the odd feeling in his chest stir up only more resounds, light and amused. “I mean, I wasn’t invited, actually! I don’t know what happened. One moment I’m just hanging out by myself, and the next I’m in some sort of white void in a ruined city-“ the other’s voice hitches just barely at that, but before Espio can question what it means it recovers- “and then Sonic comes up to me and asks for my Emerald. That was all really suspicious, so I fought him!! And then I lost.”

“Oh,” Espio hums back, his tail giving a twitch with something he cannot place.

“Which is too bad, but it was epic. And then he fought that purple monster thing, and then we were all back here, and t h e n he asked me to stay for his birthday and celebrate as well. So I guess I’m here now.”

“I... see.” Face having long assumed a rather amused frown at the slightly-hectic recalling of events Espio hums and smiles, untangling the other’s quills slowly from the bramble bush and checking one final time if the other truly is free. “Well met, Silver, and my condolences for losing your spar. You’re free now.”

“Thanks- oh, thank you!!” Scrambling up the child flies into the air, shaking out his pelt with a delighted little whoop as Espio stares up at him with quickly-growing confusion. Just what is that cyan around him?! “You’re awesome, Espio!” Silver beams, turning around with a bright smile sent his way- but before the chameleon can respond to ask about the odd colour his eyes fall on the hedgehog’s face, and his words die on his tongue as his body goes a ghostly cold.

Because Silver has the exact same eyes as he does.

[burnwater13]

Grogu looking up at Din Djarin (out of frame) in Peli Motto's buggy, in Mos Espa, Tatooine. Image from The Book of Boba Fett, Season 1, Episode 7, In the Name of Honor. Calendar from DataWorks.

Grogu had never been so happy to see the Mandalorian. They had been separated for far too long and Luke’s Jedi Sleep Away Camp had been really boring compared to what was happening in Mos Espa. It was clear that they needed a Jedi to show up and take things in hand. Lucky for them Grogu was available, ready, willing and able. You can’t always count on that happening. 

But first things first. He needed to greet Din Djarin properly. A moment later he jumped up to the surprised bounty hunter and gave him a big hug.

“Okay, little guy. I’m happy to see you too.”*

It was nice to hear that. After all, this was the same guy who said he should be brave and go to Jedi Sleep Away Camp as if that was just going to last a weekend and they’d be right back to getting into mischief and having fun taking care of other bounty hunters, Imp remnants and the odd pirate or syndicate as soon as he was back. Grogu had spent way more time there than he intended and he didn’t have any fun, unless you counted the time he and R2-D2 went to The Wheel for chicken nuggets*. That was fun, but hardly the point of traveling with Luke to Ossus in the first place. 

Luke thought that Grogu wanted to be his first student at his new school. Grogu had no idea who gave him that idea. He thought he was just going to spend some time with Luke so they could compare notes, talk about what the Empire had done and then discuss how the New Republic could better deal with all the bad actors within their ranks. 

Nope. As Grogu understood things after new student orientation, Luke had obtained a Jedi holocron and was using that to better understand how Force adept younglings were trained, so he could re-start the whole Jedi Order. Grogu had a few questions for the young man. 

First, why? Why restart the Order? The Jedi had messed up pretty significantly and their practices had, to quote someone, ‘lighted fools the way to dusty death’. Grogu didn’t think that anyone needed more of that kind of instruction.

Second, how? During his own time at the Jedi Temple on Coruscant, Grogu had no more than one or two dozen instructors. Sure Master Beq had been a primary instructor, but then each youngling took specialty instruction. For example, Grogu was at the tippy top of his class for healing, so he spent far more time with Battle Master Drallig than either one of them cared for, simply because Master Drallig was also great at healing. Ian, on the other hand, won at stealth every time. He would have taken instruction from Master Skywalker, but Anakin was very effective at disappearing when people wanted him for work like that. So different instructors for different needs. One person couldn’t do it all on their own, not even Luke.

But all of that was neither here, nor there. Grogu had never intended to stay on Ossus and he had no interest in starting up a new version of the old Jedi Order. When given the choice he left Ossus and whether it was the Force, or R2-D2 being really good at parsing data, he arrived at Mos Eisley, Tatooine, just in the nick of time. 

Peli fed him almost as soon as he and R2 touched down. The pit droids and Treadwell told him stories and made up a bed for him to sleep in, and then the next day, Peli agreed to take him to Mos Espa to find his dad. They had a good opportunity to catch up with each other and Grogu had learned that the Mandalorian had a new ship. Peli was pretty proud of it, but she insisted that his dad had to tell him all about it. It was only fair. Grogu had agreed with that.

Then they arrived at Mos Espa and Peli decided that learning that Grogu was back needed to be a surprise for the Mandalorian. Grogu thought he would be pretty surprised, no matter what, but Peli through that blanket over him any way. Uff. He would have had words with her, but the blanket made that pretty hard to do and he really had needed a bit of a rest after everything else he’d been up to. 

Good thing too. They barely crossed into Mos Espa proper when Grogu could sense that something was very wrong there. Of course someone like Master Yoda or Master Kenobi would have observed that the sound of blaster fire was a significant indication of problems on the horizon. 

Then, he heard Din Djarin yelling at Peli to turn around and when Peli finally agreed, her voice practically cracked, something it never did, because she actually sounded frightened. It was hard to image what could frighten Peli Motto when she was the one who told Din Djarin to ‘stop your cryin’. You’ll rust.’ It all added up to trouble. 

And as soon as he and his dad were finished greeting each other with hugs and sort of teary eyed comments about missing each other, the source, size, and depth of the trouble they were in was crystal clear. 

Grogu just laughed. Everything was perfect. His dad was being pursued by a huge battle droid, Peli was doing her best to not lose her cool completely, and the population of Mos Espa was depending on them to save the day. This was exactly what Jedi trained for and Grogu was finally grateful for taking the time to brush up on his skills with Luke. 

To borrow a phrase from the Mandalorian, this Is the Way.

This * quote is from Shakespear, MacBeth, Act 5, Scene 5, lines 25-26. This is a great section of the play. Read it here:

You can find * this story here:

[docholligay]

Ep 6: Nat

Hello! This is about up to Episode 6 of Yellowjackets, and ONLY episode 6 of Yellowjackets. I have not seen beyond the sixth episode, at all, and know NOTHING about this show. Please do not spoil it for me.  Things that are spoilery in nature, for me, include: saying things like  “Just wait!!” confirming or denying anything I put forward, outside information about the cast interviews or creator statements, leading questions like “Do you think “blank moment” means anything?” etc. Remember  that Y’ALL HAVE SEEN THE SHOW AND I HAVE NOT. This informs the way you  talk about things relating to the show. Just be really careful is all  I’m asking. Also: If there is LITERALLY any stance I  could take on this show or character that would make you upset, please  just fucking block the tag

If you WOULD like to discuss the show and my takes on it, the Discord is right here! I don’t go there, so it’s a great place to get every emotion out.

Please thank @sailorsunspot and @moonlight-frittata for backing this odd way of doing a liveblog, and remember my tip jar is always ope

I’m so fucking sick of Nat’s shit. Someone needs to cuff her across the motherfucking jaw. 

The GREAT news is, I think this is intentional. We’re sold early on a bill of goods, for people who have Experienced Narrative, that Nat might be the “cool, real girl” with the nice car and a gun, and I WAS pre-rolling my eyes about it. And now, it’s telling us, “No, Nat is a fucking asshole teenager who never grew up, thinks being wiltherly cruel to other people is still a way to appear like she doesn’t care, and is codependent with her fucking boyfriend, you are RIGHT not to like her.” 

And you know what? Thank FUCK. This was one of my serious concerns going into the show, and I’m so glad it seems like they’ve really socked into the idea that no, Nat sucks, actually. 

The only time she shows the slightest modicum of kindness is with Kevyn’s son, and she is happy in that moment, and the very idea of her being happy in that moment seems to make her so sick that she has to go sit down, and yes this sums Nat up perfectly, but also, what. In the fuck. I need Kevyn to stop being nice to her.

[mrsarnasdelicious]

Finding Oneself in Happiness - I

Sam Winchester x Reader fic.

Ch 1: Horny

You have your work cut out for you. You know that as soon as you arrive on the scene. Everything is cordoned off and the police are crawling all over, like ants on a hill. You know you need to pull out all the stops to gain access to the scene.

You can’t just drop the trail. Especially not now that there is a victim. You need to catch this beast before it takes another life.

You flash your credentials at a cop and are let into the stable building. It is a mess. The horses are restless and the stablehands are all being interviewed by a separate cop. The victim has not been taken away yet. You recognise the white sheet. And you recognise the growing red circle around the chest area. You begin to scan the area for hoofprints. Luckily the cops let you do your thing. Answering questions that amount to you looking for an illegally imported murder unicorn would be more than just awkward.

Behind you, you hear a gentleman identify himself as FBI. Shit, now you’re going to be on your guard. FBI always watches scenes like this like hawks. They always make your work harder. You look over your shoulder. There’s two of them, jolly good! Now you have to be twice as careful. Pretend to be a horse specialist even more now. You swear under your breath. This is going to be one hell of a job.

The shorter of the two comes over. He flashes his badge really quickly and introduces himself as agent Hendrix. “Let me guess, your first name is James, but your friends call you Jimmy.” You can’t control your snark. His cheeks fluster a little. “Good one.” He chuckles awkwardly. “You work here?” He asks. You shake your head. “No, I work for the local SPCA, to deal with the horses, make sure they are not traumatised and such.” The lie comes easy. You have had to sell fibs like it a thousand times. Luckily you have a talent for it, everyone always seems to buy your BS. Or is that because of your patron god being a Trickster…? Agent Hendrix does not seem in the least impressed, though. It is as though the lie is not working on him. How odd…

“Have you seen anything out of the ordinary?” He asks. “Besides the guy who looks like he’s been run through by a power drill?” You ask. “So you have seen the body?” He furrows his brow. “No.” You reply. The honesty is quicker than your brain. Somehow you feel like this man is ‘in the know’ and lying to him would be useless in solving this murder. Henrix’ eyebrows travel further up his forehead, his skin wrinkling. “Then how would you know he looks like he’s been run through with a power drill?” He asks. “He is not the first.” You reply. “Any idea what coulda done it?” He fires the next question like he’s aiming a shotgun. You snortle dryly. “I do, but you would call me nuts and have me shipped off.” You answer. Agent Hendix’ sniggers. “Try me.” He says.

He gestures for his partner to come listen, too. His partner is tall and built like a brick outhouse. And the sideburns on him make you feel some sort of way. He introduces himself as Agent Bonamassa. You begin to grow suspicious. Two FBI Agents with Rockstar names. That sounds stupidly familiar. “Pleasure to meet you, Agents. I’m Y/N Y/L/N.” You say. They shake your hand. And they both flash you a smile.

“Y/N here says she knows what killed Mr Kebab over there.” Hendrix points his thumb at where the body is being hoisted on a stretcher. “I do, but I am a little reluctant to discuss that here.” You reply. “We can meet you somewhere else later.” Agent Bonamassa suggests. “Sounds good.” You turn your body to him fully. He sends you a boyish smile and wets his lips with the tip of his tongue. You smile back at him. “You know the Pontica Bar, just outside town?” Agent Hendrix asks. He sounds slightly annoyed. You trail your gaze to him. “I should be able to find my way there.” You reply. “How about we meet there at six?” Bonamassa supplies. “Great idea, I might even be able to tell you more than I know now.” You answer. “Good.” Bonamassa smiles at you again.

They leave you to it.

You manage to find a few hoofprints, but no blood trail. A bit disappointing, but nothing you can change.

You meet the two gentlemen at six, at the Pontica Bar. They don’t look remotely like FBI agents anymore. More like lumberjacks, really.

“Agents.” You greet them, only slightly sarcastic. “Yeah … about that.” Agent Bonamassa awkwardly rubs his neck. You sit opposite him at their high table. “Let me guess, you are not really FBI agents?” You ask softly. He nods, not seeming very ashamed of impersonating a government official. “We’re Hunters.” Says Hendrix, which is of course not his name. “I’m Sam Winchester and this is my brother Dean.” The man previously known as Agent Bonamassa adds. That gives you pause. “Wait, you two are the Winchester brothers?” You ask. These guys have a rep! “Does that change things?” Sam asks. You need a moment to think on that. But then you shake your head. “No, we have to see this one through either way.” You reply.

Dean orders himself and Sam a beer and you ask for an iced tea.

“So, what do you got?” Dean asks. “Ever heard of a Karkadann?” You ask. Both brothers shake their head. “Think unicorn, but more Freddy Krueger.” You explain. “So we are dealing with a murder pony here?” Dean asks in disbelief. “Eh, more like an antelope with one horn, so I’m told.” You reply. Sam furrows his brows. The waitress brings your drinks and Dean gives her a smirk. “Can you not, we are working.” Sam chides him. “Excuse me, it is you who is making googoo eyes at Y/N.” Dean grumbles. “Googoo eyes?” Sam snortles. Dean huffs in response. You can’t help but fluster a little.

You tell the brothers everything you know about Karkadann, including the fact that someone likely illegally imported him. “How do you know it is a boy murder unicorn?” Dean asks. “Because the mares pierce the throat rather than the heart.” You reply. Sam gives you a slightly impressed look. You like that, a lot. “Do you know how to gank it?” Dean asks. “I do, but they are very rare. I have strict orders to bring him in alive.” You reply. Both brothers look at you in surprise. “Orders, from whom?” Sam asks. You shake your head. “That does not matter.” You reply. Dean glowers at you, but neither brother asks any more questions.

A different waitress comes with the meal cards. Dean does not even bother looking at his. “I would like a cheeseburger, with extra onions.” He says. The waitress giggles at the way he is grinning at her and scribbles down his order. Then she turns to Sam. “What would you like, handsome?” She asks. Sam smiles awkwardly. “I’ll study the menu first.” He says. “Of course.” She cooes and she flounces off. “Floozy.” You huff. “You say floozy?” Sam chuckles. “Yeah, because calling her a slut or a whore isn’t very women-friendly.” You reply. Dean snorts dryly. “You’re jealous because she flirted with us, aren’t you?” He smirks. “People say you are full of yourself, but I never imagined it to be this bad.” You reply. Dean flips you the bird. “Oh come on, she is just fishing for a tip.” You tell him. Sam slaps his hand over his mouth and tries not to laugh too hard. Dean sticks a finger up to him as well. “I hate you.” He tells his brother. He is obviously sour that the waitress did not mean her flirtations.

You and Sam quietly browse the meal card for a few minutes.

“How did you know she was faking it?” Dean breaks the silence. Sam can’t help renewed laughter. You smirk smugly. “Non Americans just know when Americans are faking.” You reply. “Bullshit.” Dean harrumphs. “Then why did she not even look at me?” You retort. Dean has nothing to say to that. “Shall we get back to the subject at hand?” Sam asks. You put down your meal card, having made your choice. “Sure, but no killing.” You reply. “That’s boring.” Dean groans. “Karkadann are very rare. My employer will reward you for bringing him in alive.” You tell him. That info brings a sparkle in Dean’s eyes. “How much is he paying?” He asks. “We’ll cross that bridge later.” You answer.

The waitress returns for your and Sam’s orders. You have chosen the burrito and Sam takes the caesar salad with extra chicken. It is quickly jolted down before the waitress makes a swift exit stage left. Sam raises his eyebrows at you. “I guess she heard you call her a floozy. Like some grandma.” Dean says. “Eh, hard cheese.” You shrug. “Hard cheese?” Dean frowns. “Tough luck, you Americans would say.” You tell him. “Hard Cheese..” Dean mutters. He shakes his head and takes a sip of his beer. “Not all of us feel the need to swear every other sentence.” Sam tells him. “She talks like a grandma, Sam.” Dean replies. “She can hear you.” You remark dryly.

Soon enough your dinner is served. For a while you eat in silence.

“How do we catch this son of a bitch?” Dean then asks. Ah yes, the matter at hand, again. “We trap him.” You reply. “Yeah, no shit.” Dean does not wait for further explanation. “You are not going to like how we’ll do that.” You say. Dean groans and looks down on the remains of his burger and chips. “How are we going to do that?” Sam asks. “We’re going to pretend to be a lady Karkadann.” You reply. “And how do you suggest we do that?” Dean asks. “Simple, smell like one.” You reply. “That does not sound simple at all.” Sam replies. “It does if you have a vial of Karkadann musk.” You tell him. Sam frowns curiously at you. “And you have that?” He inquires. You nod and smirk smugly. “How do you even get that?” Dean asks. “Either you tap it from a female or you make it artificially.” You wink at him. “Yeah no shit. Neither seems like an easy job to me.” Dean rolls his eyes. “My employer has a female he can tap it from.” You reply.

“Wait, since when is there someone who employs hunters?” Dean asks. “I am not a hunter.” You tell him firmly. “Then what are you?” He retorts. “I am a magizoologist.” You reply. “Isn’t the term cryptozoologist?” Sam interjects. “To those ignorant of what is out there, maybe. But to those in the know, a zoologist specialised in magical beasts is a magizoologist.” You inform him. Sam nods in understanding. “So you hunt magical animals?” Dean continues to question. “No Dean, I don’t hunt them, I study them. And when I find one where they don’t belong, I’ll bring them either home or where they are safest.” You say. “But what about your employer?” Sam asks. “He likes to know everything there is to know. He pays me to find out. Aaand he keeps a menagerie.” You reply. The answer seems to satisfy Sam. He finished his salad. “A zoo of mythical creatures, the guy must be loaded.” Dean is not as easily placated. “Everything about him is strictly confidential until I am instructed otherwise.” You rebuff him. Dean opens his mouth to speak again, but Sam shakes his head.

Once you have finished dinner, Dean orders another round of drinks.

“So, tell me something about your job.” Sam looks you in the eye. You feel slightly tingly when he smiles at you. “Only if you tell me some about yours.” You murr. You scoot a little closer to Sam. He flushes a little. He looks down on you and grins boyishly. Dean clears his throat. “I am still here, you two.” He says loudly. Sam steals a sidelong glance at Dean, before turning back to you. “We could go to my motel room.” He suggests. You reach over and put your hand on his arm. “I stay in an actual hotel, how about that?” You cooe. Sam smirks widely. “I’d like that.” He murmurs.

Sam gets up from his stool. “Don’t wait up.” He tells Dean. “Wasn’t planning on doing so.” The older brother replies.

The two of you leave, taking the bus into town to your hotel. On your way there, you tell Sam everything you know about the Karkadann. He is hanging on your lips.

Sam holds the hotel entrance- and room door for you. He is slightly flustered. But you are too. You don’t usually take people to bed before you well and thoroughly know them. But for Sam you gladly make an exception.

You lock the door and turn to him.

“I … I don’t usually do this.” You mumble. Sam smiles awkwardly. “Neither do I, to be honest.” He replies. “Well, then it will be extra special.” You murmur warmly. Sam nods gently. “Wana start right away?” He asks. You both laugh.

You close the distance between him and you. Sam looks down on you. You lift a hand to cup his cheek. He closes the distance. No need to speak, he understands how this goes. His lips crash into yours. You stand on your tippy toes, so Sam does not have to bend down too much. You can’t help a little moan. Sam’s lips are firm, strong and warm. He kisses you like he means it. And it is very good.

He starts backing you up to the bed.

You break the kiss. “Take off your shoes.” You say. Sam gives you a confused look, but obliges, toeing out of his shoes. You do, too. “That all?” He asks. “Oh yeah, I am going to take my time on the rest of you.” You reply. Sam smirks and resumes the kiss.

You stumble backwards, falling onto the bed. Sam follows eagerly, his lips barely leaving yours. He is so vast that his body fully eclipses yours. You feel shielded from the world. A warm flutter tangles your innards into unfamiliar knots. You do your best to ignore it. Feelings would needlessly complicate everything. And you know the Winchesters are already complicated enough to deal with.

You tangle your fingers into his beautiful brown locks. Sam groans softly against your lips. It is an amazing noise. You grow wet in response. Sam sucks on your bottom lip and licks into your mouth. You moan and buck your pelvis against his. Sam grinds back down. He does so quite firmly and presses you deeper into the mattress. You arch back up at him. Sam moans into your mouth.

Slowly you venture your fingers from his scalp to the buttons of his flannel. Sam shudders at your touches and groans softly. You begin to unbutton his shirt. Sam keeps still, tensing up a little. You wonder, quietly and to yourself, if he is shy. Though you don’t have much time for that, considering every inch of Sam’s skin you unveil to yourself is absolutely marvelous. He is made like a Greek God. You run your fingers over the tattoo on his chest. “Gods.” You whisper. “You like what you see?” Sam asks, voice a bit insecure. “Are you kidding?” You chuckle. “Wha-what? Sam stammers, a bit confused. “Do I like what I see? Samuel, you are built like a Greek God, of course I like what I see.” You murmur. Gently you run your fingertips down his chest, to his glorious abs. Another shudder runs through him.

“Oh fuck.” You hiss.

Carefully you thumb his nipples. Sam groans softly.

You draw him back down for a kiss. Sam groans again and shrugs out of his shirt. You move your hands to his shoulders and his back, to explore his muscles there. His tongue invades your mouth. You moan warmly at him and he groans back. He grinds down on you, as well. You hook one leg around his hip, tilting your pelvis for a better angle. “Oh God.” Sam grunts. His mouth leaves your and he noses at your neck. You moan loudly and tug at his brown locks. A loud groan spills from his lips. An amazing sound that makes your insides quake. “Gods, I want you.” You hiss. “You said we’d take this slow.” Sam whispers against your skin. “Oh I will.” You purr. Sam humms and kisses at your throat. You moan warmly, rubbing the tips of your fingers on his scalp. “I can want you and still take it slow.” You cooe.

Sam kisses down to the edge of your shirt. “Can I take it off?” He asks gently. You sit upright, crowding Sam backwards a little. “Go ahead.” You reply. A goofy smile slips onto Sam’s lips. He pulls your shirt over your head. His eyes venture to your bra right away. “C-can I?” He murmurs. You chuckle and undo the clasp of your bra. “How do you women do that?” Sam asks, amusedly. “Lady magic, Sammy baby.” You purr.

Sam leans in to kiss and nose at your breasts. His mouth swiftly finds your nipples. First right, then left. He sucks and nips the sensitive buds. And he lavishes kisses and licks all over your breasts. All the while he is groaning ever so softly. “Oh Gods, Sam.” You whisper. He smirks against your skin. “You taste so good.” He hisses. “More, Sam, please.” You whisper. He obliges, taking your left nipple in his mouth again.

His hand slips down your belly, to the button of your jeans.

He fiddles with your buttons and soon your hands join his to help him out. “Thanks.” He murmurs against your breast. You shimmy out of your trousers and Sam peels down your panties. He gazes down at you and licks his lips. “I am not going to be able to take it really really slow.” He rasps. “Try at least a little.” You murmur. “I will, don’t worry.” Sam whispers. He leans down to press a kiss between your breasts and then lets his lips trail lower. You close your eyes and heave a happy little sigh. “Your skin is so soft.” Sam whispers. He dips his tongue in your belly button, making you giggle.

Then he carefully attaches his mouth to your thigh. You moan sweetly. “I can smell you.” Sam growls. He groans warmly. He lowers his mouth to you folds. You can’t help a little squeal. “Fuck.” Sam whispers. His tongue carefully parts your folds and seeks out your clit. He is not pulling punches. “Oooh. Oooh Gods.” You whimper. Carefully Sam begins to caress your clit with the tip of his tongue. It is so fucking good. You pull gently at his hair and slowly rock yourself into his touch. Sam groans, sucking down on your clit ever so carefully. “Oh, Samuel!” You cry out, pressing him down against you a bit firmer. He has already got you so close to orgasm you can barely believe it. “So close.” You whisper.

Rather than carrying you into your climax, Sam moves off and instead plunged his tongue inside you. You whine at the loss, but quickly thereafter you cry out at the feeling of Sam fucking you with his tongue. It is a wonderful smooth feeling, but it takes you away from the edge. “Please, please make me cum.” You whine. Sam groans softly against your core. He continues fucking you with his tongue as he brings his thumb to your clit. He rubs you carefully and steadily. You arch into him, beyond your own control. “Oh Gods.” You moan. Your orgasm approaches once again, in full force. So close, you can almost taste it. “Oh… Sam. Please.” You whimper.

Very suddenly Sam switches, his mouth to your clit and his fingers, two digits, buried deep inside you. It is your undoing. You cum, your inner walls clamping down on his fingers and your mind spins. “Oh fuck.” Sam whispers with shuddering voice.

He backs up slowly.

Sam swiftly sheds the rest of his clothes. His cock springs free and you are impressed with how shapely he is. “Sh-shall I?” He whispers. You nod in reply. Sam smiles a lopsided smile and slowly lines himself up. You open your thighs wider to accommodate his wide frame. Slowly, he pushes into you. You moan at how he spears you open. It feels amazing, better than any other man you’ve had inside you. It’s like you and Sam fit together perfectly. Like you were made for each other.

“Do it, fuck me.” You whisper, before reeling him in for a kiss. Sam groans against your lips. Slowly he begins to undulate his pelvis. He works his cock in and out of you in the most sensuous pace. You scratch at his shoulders, lulling your pelvis back at his. You moan in unison, the pleasure coursing through united bodies. “Harder.” You hiss. “Are you sure?” Sam asks. “Yes, absolutely. I can take it.” You reply. “Oh… okay.” Sam nods. He picks up speed and intensity very quickly. He is slamming into you with something akin to desperation rather soon. And you take his every thrust with ease. Your body accepts his, even though he is so much bigger than you.

“Oh … oh god.” Sam gasps. “You take me so well, we fit so well.” He whispers. You nod slowly. “Yes, we fit… we fit perfectly.” You manage to reply between moans. “It feels so good.” Sam groans. “Yes, yes it does.” You agree. He kisses you fiercely. He claims you. You are all his. His tongue searches every detail of your mouth and you moan sweetly for him. He groans against your lips and tries to deepen the kiss even more. “Shit, I’m gona cum.” He rasps into the kiss. “Do it.” You all but order. It is all you need to say. Sam’s thrusts become unsteady and a bit more fierce. You feel the head of his cock against your cervix. “Oh gods.” You moan.

“F-fuck.” Sam groans, as he spends himself inside you. You whine against his throat.

He pulls out slowly and you whimper at the loss. Thick threads of his cum and precum connect his cock with your core. “We still sorta rushed.” You whisper. “But it was amazing.” Sam replies. You nod in affirmation. “It was.” You cooe.

You lay beside each other, talking about everything and nothing. You cuddle up to Sam and he puts his arms around you. Slowly you nod off, as Sam holds your close.

You wake up in the morning because Sam’s cellphone starts ringing.

Sam groans and reaches for the nightstand. “What?” He asks gruffly, upon picking up. You huff softly and curl into his side more tightly. “Yes Dean, we are awake now, thanks to you.” Sam grouches to his phone. You reach out and take the phone from Sam’s hand. “Is there an emergency?” You ask. Dean scoff loudly on the other end of the line. “No, but we have a case.” He replies. Sam makes a feeble attempt to get his phone back. You tisk and climb onto him, straddling his pelvis. His morning wood feels like it is made of warm steel. Sam’s breath catches in his throat. You grind down, gritting your teeth in order not to moan. Strangled, desperate sounds rise to Sam’s throat. “Gods.” You hiss. “What?” Dean sputters. You can’t help a wicked little grin. “How about we meet you for breakfast, in town?” You cooe. Dean makes a strangled little sound, the bare beginning of a reply. “Perfect, we’ll meet you there.” You say cheerfully, before hanging up.

You toss Sam’s phone onto the bed and he tightens his grip on your hips. “I would have loved to see his face.” He growls. “He might still be wearing the expression when we find him in town.” You reply. Sam bucks up at you. A moan spills from your lips. “I want you. I want you so bad. Oh god, oh fuck. Let me fuck you, please.” Sam groans. There is already so much desperation in his voice. You are swift to line him up and sink down on him. “Oooh! Fuck!” Sam gasps. “Good morning.” You purr. “Good morning indeed.” Sam smiles feebly up at you.

You ride him, firm yet slow. Sam’s fingers dig into your hips and he looks up at you, almost breathless with amazement. He groans and gasps, loving the way you take his cock. “It is so good, fuck it is so good.” He chants. He thrusts up into you. You moan loudly. “Oh yes, Samuel, fuck me.” You moan. “I will baby, I will.” Sam’s fingers leave bruises on your hips and pounds up into you. You moan, bracing yourself over his chest. “Oh fuck, you feel so fucking good on my cock.” Sam groans. “Fuck me harder, please.” You reply. Sam plants his heels on the bed and rams into you. You cry out as he ploughs against your cervix.

“Make me cum Sam.” You order. His fingers slide from your hip to your clit. He rubs you urgently, yet carefully. “Cum on my cock, cum on my cock baby.” He growls. “Almost… I am so close Sam, so close.” You moan. He rubs you between thumb and forefinger and you feel your climax come to you as though you owe it money. “F-fuck.” You cry out. Your inner walls tighten on Sam’s cock. He groans lustily. “You’re going to fucking milk me dry.” He hisses. “You think we can cum together?” You ask. Sam eagerly nods. “Yeah, fuck yeah.” He replies. “Count us down?” You cooe. Sam nods, almost breathless. “From ten?” He rasps. You nod in turn. “A-alright.” Sam replies.

“Ten… Nine .. eight.” He thrusts up with every count, all the while still rubbing your clit. You moan out loudly, teetering on the edge. “Se-seven.” Sam stutters. He is having a hard time holding back, but he knows he has to be careful. “So you good.” You moan. “Six, five, fo-ooooh God.. Four.” Sam grunts. You can practically feel his cock twitch inside you. “So close.” He growls. “Me too.” You encourage him. Sam swears under his breath. “Th-th-three, ah fuck.” He is beginning to falter, his climax too close. “A little more, just a little.” You whisper. Sam nods, trying to concentrate of rubbing your clit the way that you like.

Your thighs begin to quiver. “Two Sam, two. Ah!” You cry out. Your inner walls clasp down on him. You are on the absolute edge. “One.” Sam thrusts up sharply. It is what you need. You surrender to the amazing heat in your extremities and the lightning in your spine. Sam spends himself inside you, groaning loudly. “Oh gods, Sam, this is amazing.” You moan as your inner walls contract on his cock, milking him dry.

You shower, dress and head out into town.

Dean is waiting, leaned on the hood of his Chevy Impala. “Took you so long?” He asks. “Something a bit more urgent … came up.” Sam rubs his neck. “I just had to take care of it.” You say unabashedly. “Was it good, at least?’ Dean snarks. Sam flusters a little. “Yeah … like really good.” Sam nods. Dean heaves another sigh. “Well, I am glad you had a good time, but we have a murder unicorn on the loose.” He says. “You are right.” Sam nods.

“How do we trap this thing again?” Dean turns to you. “We set a sexy lady unicorn trap.” You reply. “Sounds easy enough.” Sam replies. You shake your head. “We gotta find ourselves a horse, and then make her smell like a lady Karkadann. The last part is infinitely easier than the first.” You say. ‘So, what you are saying it that we are going to have to steal a horse?” Dean asks. “Yeah.” You tell him. “Alright, let’s do this.” He says. “Breakfast first.” You reply. “I am starving.” Sam adds.

[tofueggnoodles]

Extreme Bath Log Disk 1 – Track 6: Tanabata

Happy Tanabata, everyone!

Click to play the track from youtube

Click here for translations of previous tracks.

Summary: During another heart-to-heart talk, this time with Goku, Hakkai came up with an idea for the Tanabata event. With Goku, Tokito and Saito’s help, the newly repaired bathhouse was transformed into an amazing scene.

--------

(Sounds of chirping insects.)

Gojyo: What’s these ‘durian chips’?

Tenpou: They complement the beer quite well**. Would you like to try them?

Nobuto: As usual, he’s assembled some weird foodstuff.

Sanzo: Hey, bring me more sake.

Gojyo: Why should I be the one to do that? Do it yourself!

Goku (walks out of the living/dining room and sits down beside Hakkai): Are you enjoying the cool air, Hakkai?

[They are probably sitting on a veranda like this: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Engawa#/media/File:Japanese_House_-_Engawa.jpg]

Hakkai: Yes. I might’ve had a bit too much to drink.

Goku: It's going to be Tanabata soon, isn’t it? I wonder if we’ll be able to see the Milky Way.

Hakkai: This area is close to the city, so the night sky’s probably too bright for the Milky Way to be fairly visible.

Goku: Sorry, but it’s been weighing heavily on my mind: We’ve not been able to come up with a good idea for the Tanabata event.

Hakkai (smiles): Please don’t worry about that. We’ll be busy with the memorial service on the day immediately following the Tanabata Festival anyway. As things stand, it might be preferable to go with a simple plan for the event.

Goku: Say, Hakkai–

Hakkai: What is it?

Goku: Have you ever regretted marrying Kanan-nee?

Hakkai: Why do you ask?

Goku: Ah, don’t me wrong! I don’t mean anything weird by it. I was wondering how it might’ve felt for you.... To suddenly become a member of a family like ours and on top of that, having to run the bathhouse and do the housework – you do everything around here, right? We’re a spoiled bunch thanks to you. You work so awfully hard too.

Hakkai: Nevertheless, I seem to be quite fond of you all.

Goku: Eh... er, what do you like about us?

Hakkai: I just feel more at ease busying myself with work than brooding over things. More than anything, I don’t dislike doing the housework and running the bathhouse business and socializing with the neighbors. I’ve never thought of these things as a burden. Moreover....

Goku: Yeah?

Hakkai: Kanan’s always here, in this house.

Goku: Kanan-nee’s here?

Hakkai: The furniture and the ambiance, the way everyone who lives here speak and act, their facial expressions, the casual moments of the odds and ends of their daily lives – I can feel Kanan’s presence in all of these.

(He pauses to take a deep breath.)

Hakkai: The Weaver Girl and the Cowherd can only meet once a year, but as long as I’m here, I can be with Kanan every day. To me, this house is the Milky Way.

[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tanabata#Story]

Goku: Ah, I see.

Hakkai: The Milky Way, huh? Indeed....

Goku: Hakkai?

Hakkai: On the other hand, we might be able to make use of the incident. Goku, would you help me out?

Goku: Sure!

--------

(Chopsticks clink against bowl as Goku gobbles down his meal.)

Gojyo: Hey, hey, why are you shoveling the food into your mouth in such a hurry, little monkey?

Goku (washes down the last bite with a gulp of something, most likely the miso soup): Thank you for the meal!

(He starts to leave the table.)

Hakkai: Ah, Goku! I’ll clear the table later, so just leave your bowls and eating utensils there.

Goku: Thanks, Hakkai. See you later.

Gojyo: Hah?

Hakkai: Please do your best. I’ll bring over some refreshments later.

Goku: Alright! I’ll let everyone know. (runs out)

Sanzo: What’s that about? He’s sure in a hurry.

Hakkai: We’re making progress with our plan for the Tanabata event we discussed the other day. Tokito-kun and Saito-kun are helping out too.

Gojyo: Hah? So what did you guys come up with in the end?

Hakkai: It seems that the preparations will be finished soon, so let’s all go and have a look later.

--------

(Sounds of a door sliding open and running water.)

Nobuto: So that summer festival’s going to be held tomorrow?

Hakkai: Yes. Just now, our bathhouse’s offering for the Tanabata event has been completed.

Goku: Everyone, come inside and have a look.

Gojyo: Eh.... nothing’s different from usual, isn’t it?

Kubota: Even though you’re currently closed for business, the bathtubs are still filled with hot water.

Sanzo: It looks like the usual bathhouse.

Saito: Well, please watch.

Tokito: Then, I’m turning off the lights!

Kubota: The lights?

(Tokito switches off the light. A glistening sound effect ensues.)

Gojyo: Wow! (whistles)

Sanzo: A starry night sky on the walls and the ceiling of the bathhouse....

Kubota: I see.... now that we’re in total darkness.

Hakkai: That’s right. Goku and the others recreated the constellations related to Tanabata using a luminescent paint.

Goku: It’s a paint that’s only visible in the dark, so we’ll spare ourselves the trouble of repainting the walls afterward.

Hakkai: There’s the danger of slipping in the total darkness, so we’ve installed lights on the ground to illuminate the paths.

Nobuto: A dream of a bath illuminated by lights on the floor**.... There’s definitely a special ambiance.

Kubota: Amazing. It’s like an open-air bath under a night sky filled with stars.

Tokito: I thought I’d wring my own neck and go crazy while I was painting the swirling spiral of the Milky Way!

Saito: Tokito-san! Didn’t you delegate the painting of all of the stars in the Summer Triangle to me?

Gojyo (laughs): That’s not half bad for a trio of high-schoolers!

Goku: We three did the painting, but the originator of the idea is Hakkai.

Hakkai: It’s the fruit of everyone's efforts. Besides, we just happened to have three full days during which the bathhouse was temporarily closed for business, which made it possible for us to complete this task.

Nobuto: A blessing in disguise, I guess.

Gojyo: You're one to talk!

Kubota: This will become the showpiece of the Tanabata Festival, won’t it?

Sanzo: Hmmph. As expected, it was no mistake to leave the matter to my capable successor and my grandson.

Hakkai (sounding pleased): Father!

Goku (likewise): Grandpa!

Hakkai: All right! In preparation for the start of tomorrow’s [Tanabata] event, let’s divide the tasks of decorating the interior and the exterior of the bathhouse and do our best at them before the night is over! First of all, Gojyo and Brother-in-law, I’ll have you two cut up the bamboo sprigs. Father, please come up with the decorations using these origami.

Gojyo. Eh? We’re supposed to do all those things now?

Goku: Isn’t that obvious?

Hakkai: After all, when push comes to shove, I can completely rely on you all. [referring to what Gojyo and Sanzo told him in Track 01-05]

Sanzo (grunts as he starts to go through the origami): Would it be fine if I connect these into loops?

Nobuto: I’m good at this sort of thing. Leave it to me to create beautiful decorations out of those.

Kubota: We’ll have to decorate our shop as well, Tokito.

Tokito: Let’s prepare lots of pieces of paper** for the customers to write their wishes on. [https://www.japansociety.org.uk/tanzaku]

Saito: Excuse me! My shop’s truck has arrived with a load of bamboos. Please help me unload them.

Gojyo: Does Saito Liquor Store do house-to-house delivery of bamboos too? Ha, that’s awesome!

Goku: I’ll go help with the unloading.

Tokito: Ah, I’ll go with you.

Gojyo: Don’t carelessly break them before we can use them for the decorations.

Kubota: What sort of ridiculous strength would it take to ‘carelessly’ break a bamboo?

--------

(Round brackets): actions and sound effects. [Square brackets]: translator’s notes or clarifications. Double asterisks **: Stuff I am not sure with. Suggestions for improvements and corrections are more than welcome.

[pridepages]

First Comes Love: Husband Material

I just finished Husband Material by Alexis Hall. I have thoughts...

Here there be spoilers!

Leave it to Alexis Hall to write a sequel to his romcom that blatantly rips off the conceit of Four Weddings and a Funeral, but at the same time forces us to confront some complex concepts about identity and queer relationships.

Husband Material brings us back into the world of party boy chaos gremlin Luc O’Donnell and his straight-laced golden boy boyfriend Oliver Blackwood. Two years since the end of Boyfriend Material finds the pair going strong and getting domestic. They’re happy and in synch. But things can’t stay as they are. After all, the saying goes: ‘First comes love...then comes Marriage.’

As in everything, each man in this odd couple has a very different take on what it means to get married. After being told repeatedly that marriage is for ‘normal people,’ i.e. The Straights, marriage for Luc represents “my hard-won legal right.” To be clear, Luc despises the idea that a gay person could want “a ceremony that celebrates a God you don’t believe in, gender roles that went out of fashion in the 1950s, and a version of marriage you literally can’t be part of.” But while attending a gay wedding, Luc finds himself swept up in a ceremony that was “irreverent, joyful, occasionally vulgar, but it was also...touching.” It’s clear that in Luc’s eyes marriage is an institution that ought to be loudly and proudly reclaimed and redefined by queer people. 

But for Oliver, marriage is something quite different. He admits: “I know that, technically speaking, marriage is not an inherently straight institution. The thing is, it feels that way to me. It always has. And I’m not sure how to make it...not. And I don’t think I want to.” Throughout the book, Oliver struggles with what it means to be ‘doing your identity right.’ And it’s clear that he wishes he could get on board with an out and proud queering of ‘the norm.’ But that’s not who he is. Rather than adapting what exists, Oliver’s version of queerness is to strike his own path: one that takes some of the conservative, Straight-core elements that he grew up with but then rejects the ones that don’t feel right. Similarly, his way involves taking the queer parts that feel right while rejecting the ones that don’t...even if that means that his experience doesn’t look ‘rainbow capitalism mainstream gay.’

Each of their takes on marriage invites serious discussion about how queer relationships are perceived by ourselves and others. While Straight Girl Best Friend Bridget is able to reduce getting married to “just a party and a piece of paper,” Luc can’t agree: “It’s everything marriage means to everybody who’s ever been married ever, or everyone who’s ever been told they can’t get married ever.”

Marriage is in very real ways a social contract. Weddings traditionally have been performed in public: before a community of people that live in proximity, are bound by family, or are otherwise connected by relational ties. I have seen weddings where the bride and groom were the most miserable people present because the party became all about what everyone else wanted instead of what they wanted...and it was their day! I have had conversations with my parents where I was told if I ever decided to elope, just get married quietly in a courthouse with a couple witnesses present, that I would be committing a grave sin against my family and breaking my parents’ hearts. I was also indirectly told that weddings that don’t take place in a church are less real or valid in the eyes of some of my family members. Which is...quite a thing to hear when you are the gay person who has, historically, not been able to have a valid marriage in either religious or civic eyes.

What on earth do we make of all this? What, as a gay person, is the right way to look at an institution like marriage? I think Luc and Oliver hit on an answer pretty well:

“Marriage will always feel straight to me,” says Oliver. “Because it presumes that a relationship is only valid if it follows a pattern that for most of our lives we were totally excluded from.”

“Except now we can be included,” Luc points out. “So shouldn’t we be, y’know, trying to be?”

To which Oliver replies: “For some people, absolutely. But for me, it feels like a framework I didn’t create and can’t control that I’m expected to impose on my own life.”

As queer people, we inherit the social legacy of what a valid relationship looks like: one partner of the opposite gender, bound together til death do us part. And, like every other inheritance, we get to decide what to do with it. Maybe we accept it, but we do so on our own terms. Maybe we reject it, because it cannot and will not make us happy. The real Gay Agenda here should be for us to live our truth, to fight for the kinds of relationships that make us our most authentic selves, whatever way that looks and whatever that means to us.

I used to think that I wanted to get married. I used to feel heartbroken and cry at Big Straight White Weddings because, before I came out to myself, some aching part of me longed to be a part of all that and knew that I could never. After I came out, part of me still wanted a ceremony, rings, and a promise between me and a woman who would be my wife. But lately, I’ve been second guessing myself, interrogating my reasons for wanting that. It’s like this moment Luc reflects on his relationship:

“I wanted to keep this. This almost fragile feeling of everything being what it was and being for its own sake and not needing to go anywhere or become anything else. But that was how relationships began. It wasn’t how they lasted...At some point you had to think, really think, about where you were going and what that meant. You had to ask if you were in this forever, and if you were, what were you going to do about it, and if you weren’t what were you even doing. You were either in or you were out. You got married or you moved on. And I never wanted to move on...It had to be worth it. Because otherwise, what were we?”

Do I really want a wedding? Or have I really just been buying into the idea that there is one path, one expression of love and devotion, that can legitimize finding the love of your life? What about the fact that there may be many loves in your life, either sequentially or at once? What about the fact that having a contract may make some things easier (yay tax breaks and spousal legal rights) but may make other things much, much harder?

Maybe it’s better not to force yourself or a relationship into following a particular model or road just to believe it’s real. Maybe it’s better just to live every day letting happiness in other people be for its own sake. After all, before marriage...

First comes love.

[hannaswritingblog]

meet me at the crossroads [a short story]

Disclaimer: the events depicted in this story are fictional and the places, as well as some mentioned people, are meant to be vague, but the girls who have inspired the main characters are very much real and I guarantee they'd have a lot of fun together.

Tags: original fiction, real person fiction, no reader insert, self insert, friend insert, political au [inside joke]

Word count: 1.6k

Birthday gift for @winterxisxcomingx 🎁 Happy birthday, bestie! I hope you're having a good one. :D This is a much more personal and personalised thing than what I usually do, starting with the use of our proper names instead of Y/N, through not being a regular fanfiction and ending with the idea taken from the private chat, but I believe you deserve it! 💜 And now - for the story! Enjoy it!

You can now read part 2 here and part 3 here. :D

The two girls have always known they’d eventually meet, but if anyone told them it was going to be the way, they would probably laugh.

It all started with mysterious letters they both received. Just a few days ago they were only discussing them on the chat.

“Have you opened it yet?”

“No, not yet.” 

“Me neither. Can we open them together?”

“Sure. I’m getting to it now.”

After a few minutes of silence, the chat became active again.

“What does your card say?”

“It says: Meet me at the crossroads in our capital city, by the place I work at. I know you’ll recognise it. Be there at 11 PM on November 23rd. Signed by: Krzysztof.”

“Mine is the same. Do you think it’s our Krzysztof? You know, the politician we talked about?”

“I’m not sure, but who else could it be?”

“Do you think we should meet him then?”

“Well, I feel like we have nothing to lose.”

That’s how their plan to meet was born. The city where they would meet was chosen for them, they only had to pick their trains to get there, book a hotel – just in case they needed some rest, although they expected to stay up all night – and find places where they would spend their free time or eat something when necessary.

And here they are now – seeing each other for the first time at the busy train station in the capital city of their country. It took them a moment to find each other at this train station, arriving at different times and navigating from different platforms. But eventually they succeed, agreeing to meet near the ticket office. That’s where Hanna and Winter fall into each other’s arms, smiling and laughing.

“You look different than what I imagined,” Winter admits when they finally go apart.

“I could say the same,” Hanna responds, “but I’m not disappointed.”

She notices Winter blushing, but rather than comment on it, she ignores it, not to embarrass her friend further. When the excitement from finally seeing each other starts to fade away, the girls decide to check into the hotel they booked and leave their luggage there. After that, they head towards a restaurant they found in the area, so that they can finally eat dinner and peacefully talk about what awaits them.

“I’m having second thoughts, you know,” Winter says.

“Do you want to quit? We still have time.”

“No, I don’t think I want to quit, I just… I’m a little stressed. I don’t know what to expect.”

“Don’t worry, I’m stressed too,” Hanna tries to comfort her. “But I’m trying my best to see this as an adventure we’ll go through together which doesn’t have to end badly. And hey, at least we got to meet in person!”

The smile on her friend’s face makes Hanna sure she said the right thing. Winter surely feels a bit better now, and she knows Hanna’s right – meeting the online friend in person is something she’d been looking forward to for a while and she’s glad it finally became a reality, even if in odd circumstances.

After spending an hour or two at the restaurant the girls go to the hotel to get some rest before the meeting that awaits them. Neither of them is able to take a nap but they take a chance to shower and lay in beds for a little while.

Soon they decide to head towards their destination. They make one stop at the nearby Starbucks to grab some coffee which will give them energy for the night and head towards Krzysztof’s workplace. He’s already waiting for them when they get to the crossroads. Winter instinctively grabs Hanna’s hand as they approach the man.

“You made it,” Krzysztof says as he notices the girls. “I’m glad to see you.”

“Yeah, sure,” Winter responds. “Why did you want to meet us?”

“Straight to the point. That’s good. Well, I wanted to meet you because I have a mission for you. I urgently need to collect a package, but it’s on the other side of the city and I can’t leave work for more than fifteen minutes, so somebody has to do that for me.”

“And it has to be us?” Hanna asks. “Why?”

“Yes. I wanted this to be you two because I’ve been following you. I recognise you from your online work and I know I can trust you.”

The girls exchange looks, frightened and amused at the same time. It’s definitely weird to see their seemingly strangest ideas come true, but they already know it’s something they can simply laugh about (and definitely will in the future), no matter how serious it could eventually become.

Krzysztof gives them the address and a secret code needed to get the package. He gets ready to leave for work, but before he can do that, the girls stop him.

“Hey! What about giving us something in exchange?” Hanna exclaims.

“You want something in exchange?” he asks, a bit surprised.

“Well, yeah,” Winter says. “Isn’t it obvious we need something back? Of course we’re glad to be here and see each other, but we’ll be walking around the city in the middle of the night and getting your package when you’re doing your job in comfort and warmth…”

“Not to mention that we had to skip classes to get here,” Hanna adds, “and we’re behind with the work for our next classes because of that. We could as well be at home reading books or writing essays.”

“Exactly!”

He sighs, considering his options.

“Okay, let’s make a deal then. If you don’t fail to bring me the package, each of you can ask me for help with one of your classes. I’ll write you the final essay or read a book you don’t want to read and tell you all about it. Is it okay with you?”

The girls agree to his terms. After saying he’ll meet them in two hours in the same place, Krzysztof goes back to work while they start a walk to the nearest bus stop where they can catch a night bus.

“Do you really think he’ll do that for us?” Winter asks Hanna as they reach the bus stop. “You know, write us an essay or something.”

Hanna shrugs her shoulders as she checks the timetable.

“We have a bus in five minutes. I don’t know if he’d write an essay for us, but I’m thinking we could ask him to just, like, take care of our grades. Call our tutors and explain the situation or simply ask them to give us a passing mark. Nobody would have to do the work while we’d be sure we’d pass a class we don’t like.”

“And you think any of your tutors would agree?”

“Hm… probably not.”

“Right? Mine wouldn’t even believe I know him.”

They both start laughing, causing the few other people waiting for the bus with them to turn their heads and stare a little. They can’t stop even after they enter the bus. But they don’t really care, as long as they’re having fun.

The pickup place for the package turns out to be a small store right by their final bus stop. A bored cashier takes the code from Winter and gives her a package. No questions asked, no additional confirmations, as if it’s something that happens there every night.

“Well, that was easy,” Hanna sighs once they leave the store. “Now we only have to get back.”

“I hope we can catch a bus…”

Luckily for the girls, the bus arrives right when they reach the bus stop.

The quick journey means they have to wait a bit for Krzysztof to leave his work again and take the package, but they easily find ways to entertain themselves, like listening to music together, telling each other jokes or petting a stray cat that passed them by. They don’t even notice when all the remaining time passes and the man approaches them.

“Thank you for your service, girls,” he says. “You really helped me, I mean it. If I can do something for you…”

“Oh, don’t worry about it. We’ll manage,” Winter responds.

“Yeah, we probably wouldn’t do much today anyway, and at least we had some fun together,” Hanna explains.

“If you say so… But if you ever need anything, just call me,” Krzysztof proposes, giving them his business cards.

“Sure. Thank you.”

They all smile at each other and part their ways.

Even though it’s a long way, the girls decide to take a walk back to their hotel. Deep in the conversation, they don’t even realise when they reached their destination and how tired they became on the way.

One after the other, they quickly take a shower and lay down in their beds. It’s only in that moment that Hanna realises one more thing.

“Winter, I completely forgot!” she exclaims, sitting up. “We were meeting him on your birthday!”

“Really?” Winter responds sleepily. “Oh, right… To be honest, I forgot myself.”

“Happy birthday, bestie!” Hanna says as she leaves her bed and goes to her friend to hug her.

“Thank you so much! It was the best birthday of my life.”

“Oh, I’m sure it could’ve been better. It was so chaotic, you didn’t get any gifts, and you’re far from home…”

“Yeah, maybe, but at least I got to spend this day with you.”

They smile at each other and hug for the last time before actually going to bed. They both are right – the long day that’s just coming to an end was definitely chaotic, but it was good, since it was the first day of many that they could spend together.

[twistedtummies2]

Top 6 Easter Bunnies from Movies & TV

Happy Easter, everybody! In honor of this special day, here’s a list that I’ve been sitting on for a good long time. It’s time to talk about Easter’s favorite mascot, the Easter Bunny. The Easter Bunny is sort of an odd duck when it comes to the mythical icons of various holidays. On the one hand, I think you could argue he’s the most popular after Santa; unless you count Jack Skellington or the Great Pumpkin (and I don’t), Halloween doesn’t have any one wrote mascot to speak of, and I’m not sure if Leprechauns count when it comes to Saint Patrick’s Day. And there are dozens of other holidays that don’t really have mascots, either: essentially, it’s always been Santa and the Easter Bunny, at least in American culture. The weird part of this is that, between the two, you’ll find the Easter Bunny tends to get the short end of the stick. There are dozens of books featuring the character or about him, but none are as popular as the Christmas books, and when it comes to movies and television, the Easter Bunny has precious few cinematic outings, and most of his TV specials are less successful than the ones released at Christmastime featuring Jolly Old Saint Nick. Why this has occurred is likely a discussion better suited for smarter folks than I, but with that in mind, I think it’s high time everyone’s favorite rabbit got at least a little time in the spotlight. Finding good Easter specials and great takes on the Bunny was more difficult than I thought, but I think I’ve managed to narrow down my personal favorites nicely. So with that in mind, sit back and enjoy some chocolate eggs, whilst I present My Top 6 Favorite Easter Bunnies from Movies and Television!

6. Rabbit, from Winnie-the-Pooh.

Confused? Then you probably haven’t seen the special “Springtime With Roo.” I don’t know the special is called that, incidentally, since the main character of the film is actually Rabbit; Roo is really just a supporting player. But I guess Roo was just more marketable. (shrugs) Anyway, “Springtime With Roo” is, weirdly enough, an adaptation of “A Christmas Carol,” but with an Easter theme and featuring the characters from Winnie-the-Pooh. The story features Rabbit as our Scrooge surrogate, as it’s revealed Rabbit is actually THE Easter Bunny…but because of past events, he’s decided to call the holiday off. In Dickensian fashion, adventures through the past, present, and the future all give him a chance to change his ways and bring Easter back to the 100 Acre Wood. This is a surprisingly clever, sweet reimagining of the Carol story, and the idea of Rabbit BEING the Easter Bunny is kind of cute to me. I felt it would have been cheating, though, to place Rabbit in the Top 5, hence why this only gets an Honorable Mention.

5. Todd Tolces, from Claymation Easter.

“Claymation Easter” is a somewhat forgotten special nowadays, created by the mighty Will Vinton: a legendary animator most famous for his work with stop-motion, and the creator of various animated mascots for advertising products, including the California Raisins, the Noid for Domino’s Pizza, and the M&Ms (no, I’m serious, he made the M&Ms, too, look it up). In 1992, Vinton directed and co-produced an Easter Special made in his signature style, which featured Todd Tolces as the Easter Bunny. The plot tells the story of a villainous pig, Wilshire, who plans to take over Easter as part of an elaborate money-making scheme. Simple enough, but what makes the special so…well…special is its style of comedy and its animation credit. The special has a very absurd, bonkers sense of humor, riding a fine line between playfully whimsical and satirically mean-spirited, which gives it a unique identity among specials for this holiday. There’s also an underlying current of a theme of tradition vs. expansion: the Easter Bunny in the story is an upholder of old standards and ideals, while Wilshire is a villainous cad who uses massive machines to get what he desires, and speaks with a lot of modernized lingo and subtle innuendos and jokes. In the middle of all this Spike Rabbit, a psychologist who becomes the true hero of the story, and essentially plays the role of the middle ground: he’s got more modern sensibilities than the Easter Bunny, but he’s nowhere near as diabolical as Wilshire. Whether you see it as just a silly romp or something more, “Claymation Easter” is a hidden gem, and it’s Easter Bunny one of the more interesting and integral parts of its story.

4. Bob McFadden, from The Berenstain Bears’ Easter Surprise.

This is one of three Easter specials I used to watch all the time as a kid (the other two will come later), and it’s still got a special place in my heart. Featuring the classic Berenstain Bear Family, the story of this special focuses on Boss Bunny - the Easter Bunny himself, voiced by Bob McFadden - deciding to retire, and calling off Easter for good. This is a problem, because in this universe, Easter is also the beginning of Spring: if Boss Bunny doesn’t do his job, winter will go on forever. When Papa Bear’s plans to replace the Bunny and save the holiday fail most spectacularly, Brother Bear takes it upon himself to try and convince Boss Bunny to go out once more. What’s interesting about Boss Bunny’s role in the story is that he’s the only Easter Bunny I’ve encountered who’s outright an antagonistic presence: he’s grown tired and bitter, and wants to call off Easter not so much because of any philosophical issues, but simply because he feels overworked. He feels he’s doing a thankless job, being taken for granted, and he’s so old and worn out he’s not sure he has it in him to continue doing the job. Of course, in the end, good sense prevails for the old timer, and he gets back to his regular duties…and it turns out chocolates and colored eggs aren’t the only surprises Brother Bear has to look forward to on Easter Morning…but I mustn’t say more, or I shall spoil the rest of the story.

3. Hugh Jackman, from Rise of the Guardians.

I don’t know what crazy person came up with the idea of the Easter Bunny as a fluffy boomerang-toting Crocodile Dundee action hero voiced by freaking Wolverine…but whoever decided that was an awesome idea deserves ALL of the candies this year. (pauses) That’s it. I’ve…I’ve got nothing else. This one speaks for itself. Moving on.

2. Skip Hinnant, from The Easter Bunny is Comin’ to Town! Both of my top two choices are the creation of Rankin/Bass; they’re the other two specials I used to watch every year as a kid, and these two I actually make a point of STILL watching every year. Easter just wouldn’t feel complete without them. The first up is the sequel to the popular Christmas Special “Santa Claus is Comin’ to Town,” and in many ways, this Easter-themed follow-up is sort of the same basic story. It chronicles the origins of the Easter Bunny - voiced by Skip Hinnant, and named Sunny - from his birth to his role as the icon of the holiday, explaining how many of the Easter traditions were born in the process. While it follows a lot of the same beats from the previous special, it changes things up enough to still have its own identity, and Sunny is a wonderfully fun, sweet, smart character. It’s just as good as its Yuletide predecessor, in my opinion; if you haven’t seen it before, take a peek.

As much as I love sweet little Sunny, however, there’s one Easter Special - one Easter Bunny - I like even more…

1. Casey Kasem, from Here Comes Peter Cottontail!

Rankin/Bass actually made three Easter specials, and of the three, this one is the most popular, and my personal favorite. In this story, we don’t just focus on ONE Easter Bunny, however…we essentially have a story of SEVERAL. The tale takes place in April Valley, which is basically to Easter what the North Pole is to Santa Claus. Here there lives an entire species of talking rabbits, who all work to make Easter run smoothly; the Chief Easter Bunny is the leader of them all, and the one responsible for delivering all the goodies on the big day. One year, the old Chief - Colonel Bunny - decides it’s time to retire, and chooses a young upstart, Peter Cottontail (voiced by Shaggy himself, of all people, Casey Kasem) to be his successor. Peter is a boastful, rash, and occasionally prone-to-fib bunny, so others doubt he’s suitable for the job, but the Colonel sees himself in Peter, and it becomes clear that, for all his faults, Peter does have his heart in the right place. Unfortunately, his main rival does not: the villainous Irontail (voiced by Our Lord and Savior of Villainy, Vincent Price) decides to challenge Peter to a contest…which Peter, thanks to his laziness and Irontail’s scheming, loses. With help from a time machine (yes, a time machine, just run with it) Peter decides to go back and try to find a way to fix things, and in the process, learns to shape up his act and become a responsible Rabbit. All three of the main bunnies in the story are wonderful (especially Irontail, mostly because this is Vincent Price at his absolute hammiest; he is to Price what Dr. Mystico is to Tim Curry, in my opinion), but Peter is the main character and obviously our Easter Bunny Prime for the purposes of the tale. It’s a very fun special, one of Rankin/Bass’ best productions, in my opinion, with great music, charming characters, and glorious voice acting. While I’d be lying if I said Peter is my ideal Easter Bunny (that honor actually belongs to a book, and that’s rather a different story), this is, without a doubt, my favorite Easter Special, and Peter, by extension, my favorite take on the Bunny from onscreen outings. He is more than deserving of my number one spot.

[birdie123au]

fruits and family (dis)functions

masterlist pairing: diluc x reader genre: angst w/ happy ending

With the arrival of various 'friendly' faces from Snezhnaya, you try to balance enjoying teaching your newfound family about your culture while simultaneously attempting to uncover new information about your target and a potential location to speak with various witnesses.

The gloomy atmosphere acted as a sort of cloud of sorrow that fogged up the living room. The sound of the tea kettle screeching aided the claustrophobia. The three of you sat in complete silence, processing what had just occurred. Not only were you sure that your family had been rejected, but you had also learned many things about your faux husband during the interview, things that he had conveniently not told you about. For example, he was a member of the Knights of Favonius? This had never once been mentioned to you, in fact, the only talk of the knights that had ever occurred in the house was by that of little Klee. You had always assumed she had been exaggerating her title as a knight, but you had no idea the Ragnvidr family had any real connections to the knights at all. Despite being your husband on paper, you understood you knew little about Diluc and his personal life, but still, what exactly happened between him and the knights? Did it have anything to do with his late father?

“Papa, Klee is very sorry.” the young girl interrupted your thoughts with a solemn tone in her voice, “Klee didn't mean to mess up, she is very sorry…”

You glanced at Klee, she seemed so small and defeated, it was truly a pitiful sight. 

“Don’t apologize Klee,” Diluc sighed, “I know how much you wanted to pass for my sake. Although our odds of getting accepted are impossible at best, I want to take the time to thank the both of you for trying your best”.

Diluc looked up to you, cracking a small smile; “I wouldn't be too worried! The man on the right clearly overstepped some sort of boundary when he took to insulting his potential clients!” you chimed in.

Klee’s eyes lit up as she nodded in agreement. The young girl ran over to you and set her head on your lap. Even during an interview with the fatui, back in Snezhnaya it is seen as unforgivable to openly insult someone's family, let alone a child. 

“You're correct,” Diluc stood up from his seat, “besides, we did aid the institution after the stunt that Dimitri pulled with the slime”.

Yes, the stunt with Dimitri , you thought to yourself. Oh shit, Dimitri!

You quickly rose from your chair, resulting in Klee almost falling backwards; “Dimitri! I’m terribly sorry. I have to go and check on him.”

Before Diluc even had the chance to respond, you raced up the staircase and practically kicked down one of the guest bedroom doors. There sat Dimitri, letters in hand, clearly reading over the latest article about the Darknight Hero you had given to him days prior. 

“There you are!” he says, smiling before he stands to salute you, “Here is the letter from the lady!”

You snatched the letter from him, your hands feeling sweaty from the sheer amount of nervousness within you. Well, here you were, about to get the verbal beating of a lifetime from your superior. Yet, at the same time you still had some hope that there would be valuable information written in regards to your target:

Y/n,

I am beside myself with how you have chosen to handle your assignment so far.

Why? Why would you find it within you to partner with the Persona non Grata? Although I applaud your ability to infiltrate the target nation and make contact with people of political interest, it is incredibly dangerous to house yourself with a man known to kill any fatui he comes in contact with. Utterly ludicrous behavior! 

This is something I would expect of a lowly fatui footsoldier, not a high ranking mage such as yourself. Albeit I would enjoy discussing this issue with you further, I write with news the Adventurers Guild has gathered about your target.

Here in this envelope along with my letter lays several first hand accounts of sighting of your target, as well as complaints that have been filed directly to the Knights of Favonius. From what I seem to make of it, your target enjoys working in the dead of night, and although he was once a target of the Knights, it seems that his persecution has been put on the back burner. I trust you will find the reason for this and use it toward your advantage. 

Finally, after a recent meeting with my fellow harbingers, your uncle asked of me to relay some valuable information to you, so I left a note that should be stuck to my letter. 

I expect of you to put an end to your comical antics, and instead focus on the true task at hand. Know that the consequences of your inability to put a stop to your targets foolish theatrics will result in the further exposition of fatui information. 

Do not disappoint me,

Sandrone

You could practically feel the anger seething from the letter, it sort of made you want to cry. The lady was not someone to mess around with, and by the way her penmanship angrily jumped off the page, it was very clear her patience with you was becoming limited. You examine the other contents of the envelope, just as she said, it was mainly comprised of civilian testimony that had been reported to the Knights. At least you now know exactly what kind of people you should ask in regards to the Darknight Hero. This made your newfound revelation about Diluc’s past even more useful to yourself.

Before examining the testimonies any further, you find great interest in a sticky note attached to the lady’s letter. Oh dear. Just as she had mentioned, your eccentric uncle had written you a message, though you weren't quite sure what it was about. Seeing as family is of utmost importance in the motherland, receiving a letter from the man who had given you a great amount of fatherly affection when your own dad was cold and distant wouldn't be too strange. But you knew he had far more important business to attend to, so why waste his time by writing you such a small note? 

“Is something wrong?” Dimitri asked, still standing awkwardly as you dissected the various pieces of information you were sent.

“Uh…no, nothing is wrong,” you say, clearly distracted, “but could you do me a favor?”

“Of course!” he smiled cheerfully.

“I need you to find me a location where the Knights typically mingle after work hours. A ballroom, restaurant, bar, brothel, whatever. I need that information as soon as possible.” you say.

“Yes ma'am!” He salutes you before taking his leave.

You turn your attention once more to the sticky note, you wonder what your lavish uncle could possibly want from you:

My dearest Y/n,

How proud I am of you for taking up such a sophisticated mission, I wish you the best of luck my dear! I’m writing to you with some very exciting news! As you know, Krsnik Noc is right around the corner, and I can't help but feel saddened by the fact that you will be alone in Mondstadt with no one to celebrate. So I took the liberty of inviting myself, along with some guests from our hometown, mostly my coworkers from the city council, to come to you for the festival! Don’t worry, I will be equipped with a wonderful disguise, and you may refer to me as Uncle Alexander rather than my true name. See you in a few days time.

All my love,

Your dear uncle

What. The. Fuck. Was the only thing you could think of at the moment. Your uncle, the mayor of the capital of Snezhnaya, a man so powerful that he was the fifth of the fatui harbingers was coming to you, in Mondstadt. You were yet to tell him of your marriage, or the fact that you were now a mother to a six year old child! Well actually, perhaps this would be a good thing, afterall if your uncle was able to see that you were now married, he could inform the rest of your family so that you would no longer have to stand their snarky comments about your marital status.

Yes , you tell yourself, this is simply a blessing from the Tsarista in disguise . Now all you had to do was go downstairs and break the news to your unsuspecting husband…

————

You lost count of the amount of hands you had already shaken, and it was merely eleven o'clock in the morning. You had never seen so many Snezhnayans all in one place in a foreign land all at once. Many of the people there you recognized as politicians or members of the city council, along with them were their children and teenagers. The guest list was so vast that the area of celebration had to be held a five minute walk from the Dawn Winery, at the very top of the hill near the Statue of the Seven. It was a good thing that the only hotel in Mond had been rented out by the fatui, or else all of these people would have nowhere to stay. 

Diluc had been suspicious when you suddenly came to him with news that your crazy uncle would be arriving in Mondstadt in just a few days time with an army of civilians from your homeland. But seeing the vast amount of people and families that were really there left him utterly dumbfounded by the sight before him. He stood stiff and alert next to you as the two of you shook hands and greeted the many guests. Many of them recognized you instantly, seeing as your uncle had photos of you and your cousins all around his office, something that you were unaware of.

Majority of the families were shocked by the fact you had a husband, considering Pulcinella never mentioned that detail when he talked about you. The thing you most enjoyed, however, was the way their gaws practically hit the floor when you informed them you were now a mother to a young girl. You won’t lie, their congratulations and praises boosted your ego greatly, something you were much appreciative for. Every so often you would turn your head to the big bonfire that was being set up, and how little Klee was running around the stacks of wood, playing tag with the young Snezhayan children.

Seeing her wearing an all white dress with blue embroidered flowers down the front and the back, along with a mini flower crown designed for the children to wear made you feel a sense of pride and nostalgia, remembering all of the fond memories from when you were a child and would celebrate Krsnik Noc. You too were dressed in traditional Snezhnayan clothing, though this was the first year you wouldn't be wearing a large flower crown, but instead a very small one, considering you were now married and therefore couldn't take part in some of the traditions designed strictly for unmarried women. 

It had taken much convincing, but Diluc finally had agreed to wear traditional clothing along with yourself. You assumed he didn't want to considering the fact that he had literally made an enemy out of your entire home country. Regardless, you hoped that he could at least partially enjoy the festivities tonight, it wasn't everyday someone from Mond got to experience a Snezhanayan celebration firsthand. In fact, you noticed that although the celebration hadn't truly begun yet that citizens of Mondstadt were stopping by to see what was going on, and that the people from your homeland were offering them clothing to wear, flower crowns, and food. 

This would be a great distraction for Dimitri to easily slip into Mondstadt and gather the intel that you had asked of him, this was a win for everyone involved! Well, almost everyone…

“Well isn't this a wonderful sight!” the sound of a jovial old man’s voice appeared in front of you, “My dearest Y/n, nightfall hasn't even struck and the decorations are already coming together so beautifully!”

There stood your small uncle, dressed in a traditional Snezhnayan style pantsuit with a tall blue tophat that matched the embroidery on his outfit. Your uncle, in the flesh, and although you were excited to see him again you couldn't help but be confused. Pulcinella had promised he would inform his coworkers and their families about the importance of concealing his identity while in Mondstadt, but the only thing different about him that you noticed was that his mustache was now far longer and bushier than he had always had it. Was this mustache his disguise… ?

You shook your head, attempting to regain your focus, “Oh! Hi um, uncle Alexander, s prazdnikom!”

You leaned down so he could kiss you on the cheek; “Thank you my dear! Now who may this fine young gentleman be.”

“Diluc Ragnvindr, head of the Ragnvindr Clan.” you husband replied, crossing his arms in suspicion. Your uncle seemed to immediately recognize him, for all the wrong reasons, you assumed as he narrowed his eyes and his face scowled slightly. 

“Ragnvindr you say–”

“My husband!” you interrupt. Your uncle's eyes are as wide as saucers. 

“Husband?” he replies, his voice full of perplexion.

“Yes, m-my husband. And I assure you that I understand the sort of shock this may bring but that I have it all under control! B-by that I mean…uh, the two of us are very happy together!” you link hands with your husband, a sickly large smile on your face. Diluc nods before taking the time to turn to you and smile.

“Well isn't that some wonderful news,” your uncle clears his throat, still clearly stunned by your outburst. 

“And the two of us have a daughter together.” you add, squeezing Diluc’s arm harder. 

“Pardon me?!” your uncle once again cries out. 

“Yes, my daughter from my previous marriage. Her name is Klee.” Diluc reassures him, his arms signaling to the location of the young girl, now stationed at one of the food stations, eating some Blini along with her group of newfound friends. 

All your uncle can do is look at you. He clearly had many questions to ask you; “Why don't you follow the two of us and we can go and introduce the two of you.” you say before he can speak up again. 

Pulcinella sighs as he walks closer towards you with his cane; “I would be delighted, my dear.”

————

The rest of the morning ran smoothly as the number of citizens from Mond increased. By midafternoon there were just enough Snezhnayans and Mondstadtians to begin some of the traditional activities that would typically take place during Krsnik Noc. Though that being said, there were some creative liberties that needed to be taken in order to accommodate for the lack of snow. You had spent most of the day socializing with old acquaintances, answering some of your uncle's most urgent questions, and explaining to Klee the various ceremonies that would take place along with which ones she would and couldnt take part in. Diluc also spent his time interacting with the people from Snezhnaya, but there was an element of seriousness in the way he socialized. 

By the time the sun had set the festival attendees all gathered by the now lit bonfire, eating borsh, bread, drinking, and sharing mythological stories about old Snezhnaya. You and the little Klee were busy eating and painting your lantern that the two of you would be releasing tonight. You sipped casually on your Fire Water, something that you hadn't had the pleasure of drinking in ages. Everything felt so wonderful . Krsnik Noc used to be a festival you dreaded, considering its emphasis on marriage and love, though now you found you could finally appreciate it for what it was: community . An entire group of people, both from Mond and Snezhnaya, all in one place, sharing drinks and memories together. You were truly appreciative of your uncle, and how greatly he cared for you and your wellbeing in a foreign country. 

“Attention festival goers!” a deep voice interrupted, the crowd quieted down, and you recognized the man to be one of your uncles' assistants, a hydro fatui skirmisher named Benedikt. It was odd to see him without his mask and disguises, though you were curious what he had to say nonetheless; “I wanna take a moment to thank the great Uncle Alexander for taking the time to plan such a wonderful event!”

The crowd erupted with cheers and clapping as Benedikt went in for another sip of his drink; “To the citizens of Mond who we are fortunate enough to share our culture with!”

The skirmisher took a moment to turn to where you and your little family sat, a drunken smile on his face; “And to the Mrs. and Mr. Ragnvindr! Who were kind enough to allow us to throw our festival in their very large backyard!” 

The crowd clapped once more as Benedikt saluted the two of you.

“Now that the night is upon us, let's start the fire jumping festivities! Sage Snezhevna, Mast Diluc, I think the two of you should start us off!” he says as he motions to the firepit.

You cringe at the name he uses to address you, way to keep it subtle man . 

“Fire…jumping?” Diluc questions, his arms folded as he looks to you in confusion.

“Oh, right!” you start, “Fire jumping in one of the traditions that couples partake in during the festival! The two of us hold hands and try to see if we can jump the fire without falling in a getting burnt”

You smile at him, clearly excited. This was the first year you would be able to compete in this tradition, how exciting! Diluc looked concerned.

Despite his hesitancy, you with the help of some of the Snezhnayan women dragged him over to the bonfire as Klee cheered and clapped. It was clear he didn't appreciate the way he was being touched by the strangers. The two of you now stood at the foot of the fire, your head buzzed in a combination of excitement and most likely tipsiness. Diluc carefully studied the fire pit, clearly not as interested in the ordeal as the people around you. 

“Alright, lets...let's do this!” you cry out, shaking his arm you hung onto for dear life. The people who were in immediate earshot cheered around you.

Diluc sighed before stubbornly gripping your arm harder than before. The two of you took a couple of steps back before you were suddenly pulled forward. Because of the alcohol hindering your mobility and reaction time, your husband had to do most of the work when it came to physically launching yourself over the fire. You shrieked as the two of you launched into the air, though Diluc remained relatively quiet, focused on timing your landing correctly.

As the two of you flew over the fire you imagined being back home in Snezhnaya, enjoying this festival with the rest of your family and friends. You imagined the light snow and how cold you always were. You thought of Diluc. The two of you arm and arm launching yourselves over the firepit back at home, how you wished you could spend your first Krsnik Noc as a married woman in the motherland. For the first time since you had been here you felt a pain in your heart thinking about your marriage, your fake marriage, about the fact that it wasn't real…

Your mind is drawn back into the present by the sound of people cheering, but more importantly the sound of laughter. Diluc’s laughter. It's clear he wasn't quite anticipating how fun of a time fire jumping could be. You pushed back the painful thoughts about the two of yous relationship, instead opting to laugh along with him. You looked into the crowd to see your little daughter on the shoulders of one of your uncle's subordinates, cheering and clapping with a wide smile on her face. In a moment of impulse, you plant a kiss on the unsuspecting young master’s cheek. The cheering grew louder.

The rest of the fire jumping activities came and went with very little trouble. Only one or two couples were put in any real danger, then again thanks to the disguised hydro skirmishers standing by the bonfire it was easy to put out in the case of any emergency, only to be relit moments later. Now that it was time for the final festivities, the lantern sending and the reef ceremony, the crowd of people made their way down the side of the winery in order to make it to where the small lake lay at the bottom of the hill.

You walked beside Diluc with Klee in your arms. The little girl was hanging onto her Dodoco themed lantern for dear life, fearful that the paperweight would fly away if she didn't grab it tight enough. As the three of you approached the side of the river, you saw it was time to start letting go of the lit lanterns. Klee seemed unwilling to part with her creation, but after a reminder of what it was for, she eventually obliged. 

“Alright Mr. Dodoco Lantern! Be free!” the young girl said as she went to release her creation. The three of you watched in silence as the sky was illuminated with at least fifty lanterns. Little Klee wrapped her arms loosely around your neck as she watched on in awe. 

Next to the three of you, you noticed groups of Snezhnayan girls gathering at the bed of the lake, taking off their large flower crowns and setting them on lit wooden rafts. You watched as the flower reefs drifted further and further from the shore, as the women from Mondstadt began to follow suit at the example. 

“Mama? Klee wants to know why you aren't doing the same thing as those girls over there!” Klee said as she pointed to the reef ceremony.

“Ha…ha,” you laughed, “well Miss Kleeeee. The r-reef ceremony is for unmarried women! And do you…see all of those young men jumping into the water? They are trying to c-catch the girlies' crowns!”

“Oh, okay! Is that why mama's crown is so small?” Klee replies, her little hands grab the crown on your head before fiddling with it in her hands. Suddenly, a large gust of wind snatches the reef away from the little girl's arms, caring it out into the lake.

“Oops!” Klee cries, horrified at the sight, “Klee is so sorry mama!”

Before you even have time to reply, Diluc leaves your side and begins wandering into the lake in search of your crown. It takes him a few minutes to find it, and by the time he does he is practically waist deep in the water. He emerges victoriously nonetheless, and hands you back your crown. Heat rises to your face, so much so you need to turn away. Although Diluc may not understand the true weight of his actions, you as a Snezhnayan do. And Diluc Ragnvindr retrieved your reef during the reef ceremony !

“My dear Y/n! May I speak to you alone for a moment?” Pulcinella says, standing right beside you. Had he been there the whole time ? You nod as you hand Klee to Diluc, still not able to look him in the eyes. You follow your uncle to a remote location at the edge of the crowd of festival attendees. You quickly noticed Dimitri standing where your uncle was taking you, a smug smile on his face.

“My lady!” your subordinate says, “I have some great news I needed to tell you! About the locations, I mean. So it turns out, many of the Knights spend their evenings drinking together!”

Dimitri then launches his hand into his pocket, trying to fish out a paper; “And the best part about it is that they most of often drink in the bar your husband owns! The Angel's Share!” 

He hands you a paper with the address and contact info for the bar, stuff you already knew about after the tour Diluc and Klee gave you days ago.

Pulcinella scoffed at the mentioning of the name; “Yes, Y/n that husband of yours…”

“Do you not find it suspicious that he was so willing to marry a Snezhnayan woman? One he just met at that?”

“What do y-you mean by that?” your voice slurs. 

“I’m just saying, what sort of motives do you think a man hated by the fatui would have with a woman such as yourself?”

All you can do is stand and blink, your brain is far too tired to process what is happening.

“Uncle Alexander! Can we get some help over here?” A random voice from the crowd interrupts. Your uncle sighs as he looks in your eyes one last time.

“Make good decisions Y/n, you're far too precious in my eyes to go to waste.”

And just like that, he was gone. Disappeared into the crowd. The very same crowd that held your daughter and husband, most likely confused about your whereabouts. After the conversation with your uncle, your mood had been practically destroyed. Just when you started to think, no hope , Diluc’s intentions were genuine, you were hit with another cruel reality of your situation. You turn your heels and get ready to make your way back into the crowd.

“Oh, Y/n, before I forget!” Dimitri suddenly pipes up, “Adelinde wanted me to tell you or the young master this as soon as possible. A letter was sent today from Zapolyarny Immersion School!

…Klee got in!”

prev // next

[popculturebuffet]

Gay as  A Fox: The Simpsons (Homer’s Phobia, There’s Something About Marrying, The Burns Cage, Portrait of a Flunky on Fire) (Comissoin for WeirdKev27)

Happy pride all you happy people! I”m Jake, I do reviews and analysis and today we finally kick off pride on this blog in style! While I did celebrate pride in my last owl house review for the season, pride on this blog has always been special to me. See the first pride I did here was the first I did while out of the closet as a bisexual, and i’ve stayed out and proud since. So while this year is slimmed down since i’m doing less reviews, i’m still giving it my all and kicking us off, we have a special event cooked up by WeirdKev27, aka the guy what pays for most of my paid reviews that I absolutely love: Welcome folks to Gay as a Fox, my look at 4 different fox shows and how they handle pride, three episodes a piece barring simpsons which got an extra one because it’ll outlive us all. We’ll be looking at simpsons, family guy, american dad and The great north. King of the HIll sadly didn’t make the cut as it didn’t, as far as I know, have a third episode dealing with queer issues to go with the stellar “My Own Private Rodeo” and “The Peggy Horror Picture Show”. And no the one where bill pretends to be gay to get a hairdressing job does not count. I will be saving them for future prides though because they are awesome and I wanted to at least mentoin why they wren’t being included before the flood of asks came in. 

As for why look at these shows, it’s honestly because when kev brought up the idea it fascnated me: to see how the idea of queer characters and gay rights evolved as various shows creators and writers tried tackling it. For the most part these are genuine attempts at helping people empathize with the Gay community while also poking some fun at just how DUMB and nonsensical the other sides hateful arguments really are when you get down to it. Granted we’re also going to have to deal with Quagmire’s Dad, aka an episode that’s anything but any of that and i’m going to enjoy metaphorically punching in the scrotum next week, but for the most part these eps are a bunch of people trying to be an ally. Great North is the odd show out both being newer and having an actual gay character in the main cast, but we’ll get to that. For now it’s just fun, again barring that thing that happened we’ll uppercut next week, to look back as well as give my opinons on shows I normally don’t cover on this blog. 

Starting us off is The Simpsons: and as the sheer NUMBER of simpsons refrences on this blog, almost one a review honestly and at least once a week can attest I love this show and my attitude towards the first 10 seasons is 

It’s some of the best comedy ever and I could go on all day about my faviorite bits...

I could go on but that could take days we don’t have so the point is I love the show but i’ve mostly tuned out of the later seasons. I catch an ep once in a while and their not terrible, but they just feel like their going through the motions, staying on because it’s so long lived and record busting and not because they want to make a great new take on an old faviorite, or that fox won’t let whoevers running it now. It’s not BAD but it just dosen’t intrest me. 

That said this trip was very intresting: there’s an episode from every decade the simpsons has been around here and thus it spread the gamut of the show from it’s golden age, to it’s decent broonze one to the current “it’s still on” era of the now now. Do the old aesops hold up? do the new eps relight the spark? Let’s take alook. 

                                      Homer’s Phobia (Season 8)

Homer’s Phobia is a true classic that’s aged remarkably well. Despite turning 25 this year, a milestone I wasn’t aware of till doing that math but am pleased as punch I’m getting to the episode on, a LOT of what it discusses and how it satrazies homophobia holds up amazingly and as is standard for golden age simpsons, the jokes are mostly still funny as hell and come in quick. It’s simpsons at it’s best. 

It’s only real age spot is bringing in a guest character, John voiced by everyone’s weird uncle John Waters, to do the aseop. Had John stuck around, then I wouldn’t really have an issue with this but having such a high profile actor, he instead falls into the trap of one off character designed to teach a lesson then vanish into the either. 

You can still have a good episode WITH that trope in play, A Diffrent World’s episode on AIDS springs to mind, but it always feels cheap to not just go the whole 9 yards and use a character fans actually know, something later writers would mostly correct. 

There’s also an ehhh spot here or there: Marge outs John to homer simply because he comes off gay to her which is all kinds of 

For one that’s making a LOT of assumptions. For another i’ts not her place to out him and does nothing but harm. While John shrugs off Homer’s Homophobia, likely all too used to it, it could’ve gone a LOT worse. It fits the time but it still feels like she ONLY outed him to homer to make the plot move along. There’s also the fact they wanted to name the episode Bart the Homo 

And wanted to use a certain F word, which is the only time John Waters really stepped his foot in, telling the writers it was WAY too loaded to have homer use, which was the right call. So clearly the writers had good intentions.. but had no idea what the hell the were doing in other aspects, but with that it’s remakrable that’s about all I can find that really stands out as “Yikes”. 

While John is a one shot character, only getting some cameos later since John Waters is likely busy, he’s a good character: he loves kitzch and camp, explaning it perfectly and making me and @jess-the-vampire​ who watched these with me as I was running behind this week working on the review that will be out after this, both realize Miraculous Ladybug qualifies. What homer thinks is camp is just.. fantastic

He’s not the deepest character, but he’s charming enough you get why the simpsons love him and his talk about kitch, while a bit overdone early on, does throughly fit the king of it voicing him. John Waters is just clearly having a blast. We also get smithers snuck in there as John’s partner.. who he snuck away from brunch with. It’s a nice little nod to their only other gay character at the time... who was so deep in the closet it wasn’t till two decades itno the show he finally left it. But we’ll get to that

What really sells the episode though his Homer and how the episode uses him as the perfect tool to tear apart homophobia and peel back any nonsense pretense to show it at it’s core: stupid, petty, nonsensical and potetially harmful.  Once Marge outs John, again nice going there midge, homer procedes to handle things with all the grace and tact you’d expect and it is glorious as it is clearly in the wrong. 

Homer’s homophobia is shown as potetially harmful and stupid.. but also well played for laughs, showing that beneath every argument about “family values” and “what real america means’ we STILL hear today.. is just a bunch of idiots making up excuses to hate someone that are flimsy and nonsesical as homers.  The fear of queer people “turning” others is STILL an issue that persisits today and is part of why this one sadly holds up. Marge dosen’t remotely see this as a crisis and even Bart is clueless that THAT’S what his dad is trying to do all episode till the hlarious ending, and both he and lisa are aware and tolerant of gay people. John being gay is only a problem because Homer can’t accept him for who he is and the episode makes homer nothing but an outdated butt of the joke who needs to accept that gay people exist, if his son turns out ot be gay or bi or pan or anythign in between it’s okay, and that he was the one who was wrong. 

Homer’s actions are terrible here, trying to make bart more “straight” and outright telling John to leave.. but the episode wisely leaves him impotent to actually do anything against gay people. Marge outright refuses to humor his bs, with him only taking bart hunting because he happened to grab him while the kids were only with john, John simply snarks at him and points out the hohles in his hate asking why he feels this way, and again Bart is oblivious. 

His attempts to turn bart straight only want to make the kid smoke after starring at a “sexy” billboard, and lead to one of the funniest scenes in the series

Is it campy? yes. Is it hilarious as a queer man myself? Yes, from Homer’s “I don’t know” to the oh be nice to “we work hard we play hard”. It’s just such a hliariously over the top scene.

Homer’s last attempt.. is even worse attempting to get hunting which Bart, in a bhit of irony descrbies as really gay, and which fails entirely, forcing them to try shooting reindeer.. which bart still refuses because he dosen’t want to shoot santa’s reindeer. It shows how trying to narrow masculinity to one sexuality or way of thinking is toxic, and holds up well as all homer’s idiocy does is nearly get him killed, though he does shield himself.

in the end John saves homer with a robotic santa from earlier, and the show does lampshade how this is a one off situation that really can’t solve the larger neverending issue of homophobia

All in all a true standout in a period of simpsons that stood out that shockingly, and sadly holds up amazingly. It also has this oddly relevant line that sounds like it’s coming straight from the mouths of the simpsons new corprate overlords

Can this please be the new content warning? Pretty please disney? Also just as a note NONE of these episodes, only one of which is not on disney+ as season 33 hasn’t been added yet, were in Disney’s pride collection. As you let that one marinate, let’s move on

           There’s Something About Marrying ( Season 16)

So yeah an 8 YEAR GAP between episodes, though there was “three gays of condo” between these. That said this episode is almost as good as the previous one and stuck in my brain for good reason. Seriously this episode is as good as any season 1-8 episode, keeping the satire from Homer’s Phobia well and alive while also throwing in plenty of other great jokes. 

Here after a prank by bart gets a travel tv guy to hate them, Springfield badly needs ideas and shockingly they easily accept Lisa’s propsal to legalize gay marraige... if for very .. mouse shaped reasons

The episode glefully points out that a lot of people only want to cash IN on gay people and are only in favor of LBTQ+ causes because i’ts profitable. The episode dosen’t delve too deep into it but when THIS happened just a year ago

And again Disney’s pride section on plus still has tons of omissions simpsons eps included, it’s not hard to see why even if gay marriage is now legal this episode is still relevant. This shit still happens and probably always will. Even Lisa, whose clearly doing this for the right reasons, knows that it’s the only way this would probably happen or she woudln’t of suggested it at a budget meeting. 

It also once again paints homophobes with the brush of being assholes with no real defense: despite money coming in hand over fist Reverend Lovejoy outright refuses with his wife and nature’s perfect karen Helen standing by him, and gives no real reason, with Marge outright owning his ass. When told gay relatoinships aren’t allowed by the bible she simply asks “what book” and TREIS to give an actual argument against it that he simply drowns out iwth the chruch bell, showing how the chruches that endorse this crap often just ignore the moral implications of what their doing and any resonable argument in favor of “it’s in the bible so shut up”

Homer however has changed, having dropped his predjudices, and in a show where nothing really sticks it is nice his treatment of gay people has. Like any decent human being he just sees them as people. Granted he sees them as people he can get large sums off money off but still. The show even spoofs the stupid idea that “same sex marraige leads to me marrying anything”.. which my dad used all the fucking time. Seriously if he coudl’ve gotten monogramed towels saying “Gay Marriage will lead to me marrying my cat” he would’ve.  The fact he kept using Bob like that just makes me wonder more about dad than about the vaidity of gay marriage. Homer DOES marry anyone to anything.. but it’s clearly because he wants money and not because there’s any causality between the two. Homer just wants more money and ran out of gay people in town to marry and Marge won’t let him push lenny and carl.. which given they still aren’t together in 2022 may of been a mistake. Granted I do question putting it in the episode as it confuses the issue slightly.. but I get what they were going for enough I can let it pass. 

The plot then  pivots: the rest of the episode is still about gay marraige and Homer’s new job for the week as a minister is still VITALLY important.. but it becomes more personal. And I feel that was intettional. See in the first half Marge is NOTHING but supportive of gay marriage, going to bat against lovejoy, praising homer for what he’s doing (even if his motives are well.. entirely Homer), and in general being for this. 

And thennnn... Patty shows up, wanting Homer to do a marriage cermony for her. And it’s obvious where this is going: even without the implication of going to someone who does gay weddings as his main buisness model, this week, the fact is Patty HATES homer. More than anyone. Watching any episode of simpsons with patty and selma will tell you they want nothing less than to dance on their in law’s grave. They brought a date for marge to homer’s bipass on the high chance he didn’t make it. It’s clear if Patty had ANY other option she woudln’t be going here... and it works so well. It shows just how willfully ignorant Marge is being, that the signs her sister is gay and is goign to marry a woman are there.. but she just can’t see it till it hits her in the face. 

And it teaches a valuable aseop: it’s easy for some people to be super liberal and progressive... but they can still turn on her family. It’s why so many gay people fear coming out. Hell I knew my mom and brother would be alright, they were and weren’t even shocked, and I was still scared, never mind my dad who need I remind you thought gay marriage = I can finally marry my cat. He WAS accepting.. but I honestly didn’t think it’d turn out that way and it’s a pleasant suprise it did. So exploring the idea that even someone as open and accepting as marge would have issues and actively be in denial... it was incredibly well done. Like with Homer, the show, while showing he has a heart often has him as an asshole for laughs

So it’s not a stretch that he’d be homophobic and need to learn something.  But with marge it hits harder because while she’s not PERFECT, she’s a kind empathetic person so for her to have trouble accepting it, esepcailly when the idea bart was gay didn’t phase her, especailly in her own sister hits harder and thus feels that much more realistic. And it’s likely that Marge simply never saw her sister as gay and thus would rather live in denial than accept the reality and thus her marriage, a constant reminder of it and is a passive agressive shrew all night till Patty rightfully calls her out. Selma for her part is clear she’ll be deeply lonely, but supports her sister in this, with Selma herself having rushed into multiple marraiges including a third to disco stu. God loves you disco stu. Also she’d go on to marry grandpa which I want to tackle some day for some reason.  

It’s also bold they went with Patty for this. Unlike Jon this isn’t a character they can easily just have walk into the rainbow colored sunset. Patty and Selma are some of the simspons only family and great foils to both their sister and their brother in lard. Doing this means comitting to it and facing the backlash for making a supporting character who won’t be going away gay. But they did it and it made the episode better: this isn’t just a friend of the simspons this is marge’s sister and if she can’t accept this she likely looses both of them as family. 

And Marge sinks to some very lows as we get a plot twist and.. not a great one.  Now there are BAD implications here.. but I don’t think any of them were in mind. it was just a cheap way to keep Patty from marrying because

So ... turns out her bride to be is a man, a pro golfer.. is a man in disguise. Which let’s be clear here: Veronica is not trans: They crossdress purely to play golf with the wga and fully idenfity as a man when Marge reveals the truth to poor patty. But... having a man prtend to be a woman.. is loaded as all fuck with anti trans rethoric. I dont’ think they INTENDED it but it’s easily the worst part of the episode because of it. They shoudl’ve thought this through more and there are a million other ways they coudl’ve had the two break up or you know.. just let patty be happy and have her new bride live with them. Seriously let them be happy for once. I know their assholes to homer, to a ludcrious degree, but come on. 

Anyways, the rest of the episode goes how you’d expect: Marge has a change of heart when Patty gives her vows, a well done way to turn her with Marge fully accepting her sister and stopping said marriage depsite again, sinking low enough she was about to let it go on just to get what she wanted. And they also lampshade the fact homer won’t have this job next week

A truly great gag. Overall apart from one element which is solid yikes, but at least unteitonal, it’s a pretty great episode and I didn’t , like the last ep get itno all the great adds form homer making a bride of the monster refrence to offering to sand patty’s face (I wasn’t joking) to taking Bart’s idea to have someone marry someone in a box of snakes to fox (”Please stay on the line your halfbaked ideas are all we have)” It’s a fairly good episode that holds up decent. While Gay Marriage is legal now, it’s satire still does.. even if the veronica thing is stilll

But we’ll get much worse next week.. “Shudders” but for now

                                 The Burns Cage (Season 27) 

This was LONG overdue. I mean my god look at that season number. Twenty Seven. By this point Patty had been out for over a DECADE. Yet despite...

ALL within the first batch of seasons.. and it still took you THIS LONG to let him out of the closet. But the episodes where people with dwarfisim are treated as magical beings, bart was driven to suicide, two seperate clipshows, and Selma marrying grandpa were ALL put over giving smithers an episode to come out

So naturally with this long a lead time I was curious how they did it and enjoyed the results. After a skydiving experince where Smithers narrowly saves his boss, Smithers finally decides to confess.. only for Burns to largely ignore it, admitting smithers means almost nothign to him and due to a lot of smithers work going unoticed, not apprciating him. It’s utterly crushing.. but also exactly what we all figured would happen and leaves the poor guy a mess.. and taking it out on homer, lenny and carly which i’d feel worse about if they wen’t bowling with nuclear rods when he found them. 

Still Homer needs to get smithers laid so he can get back to half assing his job. So he enlists Marge and Moe to help.. and given moe just not so subtly hits on marge then goes behind a peephole to watch it’s mostly on marge. To homer’s credit he’s an excellent wing man and while he has trouble picking one, including a cameo by George Freaking Takei, a small feat at this poitn for the simpsons but still hilarous, he decides to throw a party.

This dosen’t work as Smithers is still bitterly unreceiptive to anyone but the shirvled old man he’s obessed over, until Julio come by. Julio is a flamboyant hairdresser played by Hank Azaria who debuted in another gay simpsons episode I may take a look at some time, Three Gays of Condo where .. Homer moves in with a bunch of gay men in a condo. Also it has Weird Al in it so I automatically am intrested. 

Julio manages to get Waylon to loosen up and does what Burns coudn’t.. treat him like a human beings while it turns out burns really can’t function without smithers

Yeah this runs into HOmer the Smithers a bit, with Burns once again realizing he’s helpless without smithers though here it’s more him realizing he NEEDS his assitant more than becoming so self reliant he dosen’t. Still feels a bit samey though even with the changes. 

So as you can expect to uphold the status quo, Smithers misses burns, finding Julio TOO self assured and not needing him and not being over Monty yet.. which is fair he got rejected like.. a week at most before dating Julio. Tha’ts way too fast. Burns likewise can’t get a good replacement, with Lindsay Nagle being the only one we see but also hilaroius as she refuses to “release the hounds” as she’d be liable, explaning how the hell burns gets away with that besids his army of lawyers, and finding the whole operation illegal. The hound releasing guy dosen’t even get health care and he’s head of HR.

In the end the two reunite, and it’s geninely sweet: While smithers excepts on some level Burns dosen’t love him Burns gives him his performance review instead of a bribe: Excellent. It still feels a bit abrubt and dosen’t really resolve anything but it’s simpsons. If a change would dramatically alter one of the key dymanics of the sohw and you know, force them to really vary things up.. they ain’t doing it. Still it’s not a bad episode but I feel like i’m.. forgetting something. 

This is the only one of the episodes with a subplot... and said subplot is completely disconnected from the main one. And Subpltos aren’t inehrently bad.. but this one has zero connection to the main plot with even the flimsy button connecting them at the end feeling entirely out of left field. It’s also just.. bad.  The plot is that Springfield Elementary is doing a production of casablanca, which I would be on board with given their track record with these

But it’s  plot is pure sigh: Lisa gets the lead roll as Illsa, so Milhouse wants to be rick to get closer to her but gets upstaged by a.. humphrey bogart impersonating elemntary schooler?

I.. I have no idea why they decided this was funny or why anyone wanted this. He ends up searching for gold with Moe in the epilogue so.. yeah? 

But the episode just.. paints milhouse in a bad line as he wines about this even though lisa has made it clear like.. 80 dozen times at this point she’s not intrested, and even in alternate futures where they DO end up together for a bit she never seems that enthused to be with him. So as much as I love a good romance plot... move on man. Just move on. I’m not invested in him sabotaging some other if intensely weird and entirely one shot kid> Their not going to get them together and LIsa is no more intrested when they do act together as Milhouse is terrible. This is just a time sink of a subplot and only is redeemed by it’s batshit ending homaging one of bogart’s movies which features.. moe getting hung? wha? and this

I’m not giving you any context, moving on

                                  Portrait of A Lackey on Fire (Season 33) 

So we’re to the latest season and this ep got a lot of buzz as smithers finallyg ot a proper love intrest... again for one episode. That being said it wasn’t bad and it still has a leg up over the burns cage as while it treads some of the same ground it’s more creative with HOW it does it. Both why the relationship dosen’t work out and what gets this started feels a bit more organic. There’s also no stupid Milhouse subplot that makes me hate a boy that does this on a nightly basis

You monsters. Anyways this one also has a great idea for a start: One of Burns hounds gives birth and he plans to give the various puppies off to his rich friends for perks. Apparently he’s given up the vest thing. Smithers wants to at least try to raise one and let it be a dog instead of a killing machine but is turned down and once again Burns lack of opinon of him breaks the poor guy. This time though HOmer helps out not to get out of actually doing work but for better reasons: He’s been helping out training the puppies (with them hanging off him at all times on work as they bite into him), and finds Smithers in one of the cages whimpering at his state and decides to wing man. 

He can’t really find anyone, which leads to two cameos; We breifly see john which is good.. and see Disco Stu who is shrugged off as being “hetero curious”... which comes off as biphobic and panphobic as heck. I don’t think it was intetnional much like the issues with the first two eps.. but unlike those eps they have less reason to make these blunders and more reason to fire someone for them. It’s been 25 years since homers phobia and around 17 since There’s Something About Marrying. Back then I could get some clueless white writers fumbling over a thing or two , even if it was less than great. Here you can google this shit or at least show an actual bi character to ballance it out. I do get there are some people who questoin and ultimate decide their straight.. but putting it in a dating app setting makes it come off as if liking both genders is just a stop on the way to one or the other, which it isn’t. I sohudln’t have to say this but this episode from LAST FUCKING YEAR thinks so and dind’t bother to think this through. It’s why i’m harder on it: We’ve HAD bi characters in animation. We just had THIS happen with one not a few weeks ago and just a few months after this episode

And in the same year of this Tuca and Bertie portrayed her as bi beautifully and also had a heartbreakingly toxic lesbian romance. We’ve evolved past this shit. You CAN do better. You can hire or consult an actual gay or bi person. You have the technology

The rest of the ep isn’t bad though as the last of the millionares, picking up a softer kinder hound, is Micheal DeGaaf, a fashoin deisgner and tim gun style reality star played by Victor Garber. He seems to be everything Monty isn’t, kind, empathetic and into hima nd the two quickly bond and then make out, and smithers even goes off to the riveira. 

We also get great marge and homer stuff: Homer is in full happy shipper on deck mode, while Marge is not only on board, and has to keep chasing homer for details because his attention span is not the best, but a huge fan of MIcheal.. though she has to go to the smithers himself to get an actual meeting which goes well with DeGaaf even planning to open up shop in springfield. We also get a shockingly good fidget spinners joke as the facotry he’s using used to be for them.. which would be just “meh” if it weren’t for Chalmers saying “Spinners?!” right after. is it stupid? yes. Is it not the cleverest joke. Yup. Did I still laugh more than I should’ve with no shame? absolutley. 

Naturally though so the status quo can be stuck to, turns out DeGraaf isn’t a great guy and his factory produces tons of polution ont he workers.. aka barney, kirk and old gil, who naturally gets the worst of it. Smithers can’t accept it till he goes to burns fo radvice. And it is hilarious that Burns can’t get it in his head waylon is gay but is fully on board with the relationship anyway and in awe of how much the man polutes. Waylon ends up giving it up but keeps the puppy so he’s at least not alone and said pic blows up his dating profile

This ep is fine, it also features a chernobyl homage that while I didn’t get the refrence fully having not watched it, it was still  fucking funny applying to a clothing factory and there are some clever jokes. And also “Spinners?” which somehow works, don’t ask me how. 

So yeah two classics, a shockingly forgetable ep and a pretty okay one. Not a bad spread and it at least to me shows off simpsons as a whole , spanning a few diffrent eras.. and okay two of th esame but Kev was curious about Waylon’s actual coming out, as wasf I hence it being the only four pack

Next Time: Unluckliy, it’s a family guy as we get two well inetntiond attempts.. and Quagmire’s Dad

Until then join my patreon to help support this blog, consider kicking in for a comissoin and i’ll see you next time

[csial]

CSIAL: a single muse, mutuals only rp blog featuring Osial, Overlord of the Vortex from Mhy's G.enshin Impact. Run by Charlie, 31, they/them, GMT.

If I'm not here, I can be found at the following: @resolutepath | @ncrthlandbank | @bardictales | @loiyaltie

I play g.enshin on the eu server, uid available for mutuals at request. I also play HSR & F.GO on EU servers and those uids are also available at request.

A STUDY IN: the burning embers of an ancient grudge, the ties that bind, the consequences of actions, that which lurks beneath the surface, living in the lion's den, coming to terms with a world you no longer belong to, jealousy and loyalty, biding one's time & the divine who did not rise.

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INTERACTION; Mutuals only for the most part. Inbox calls / memes / yelling at me on ims / discord about muse bonds are the easiest way to interact. Filling in the interest checker is also highly encouraged! If I see an inbox call I’ll like it, and  anyone I’m mutuals with is welcome to do the same whether we’ve  discussed or not. Same goes for memes. 100% support the idea of building pre-established bonds, I really enjoy having some idea of the vibe we’re going for, but absolutely happy to wing it too. I am slow. Things take me time and I write half my interactions out in notebooks on lunchbreak / while travelling so bear with me. This isn't my only blog.

DUPLICATES;  Great taste in your muse choice! Just for this muse I'm going to say I'm not particularly keen on engaging unless we are friends already. I've put a lot of work into building my Osial and I'd prefer not to interact with duplicates. Know I am cheering you on though, it's great to see others caring about him!

REPLIES/THREADS; Hobby not job. We go at our own pace here, replies happen when they  happen. I use queue/scheduling liberally. In terms of continuing asks, I  don’t mind continuing asks, but also will drop if I can’t see where  something is going. Please do the same!

SHIPPING; I’m invested in building relationships of all kinds, so please, if you'd like to ship (enemies, friends, allies, romantic etc.) reach out and let me know. I am open to exclusives for romantic ships only if the dynamic we build is strong and it makes my writing partner more comfortable and am unlikely to ship with more than 2/3 of any muse anyway. Osial is polyam and bisexual, and considers himself demiromantic. Beisht is always a part of his dynamics. See this hc for a full explanation. My Beisht is written by the incredible daybreakrising and we are exclusive. In his rehabiltation verse, Osial / Qianfan is ship exclusive with zhongshen.

SHIPPING PT II. While I have been hesitant in the past to discuss not s.fw content, I am open to currently providing we have an establised dynamic either ic and/or ooc (e.g. we're friends but you're not interacting with osial yet). Please bear in mind that it is something i will only discuss with people I am comfortable with. Suggestive content is still fine. We'll see where we get with threads etc., it'll likely depend person to person.

SPOILERS; Osial is in prison so he is never up to date in terms of content. That being said I will occasionally mention newer nations or characters and if these are recent releases I will tag anything spoiler-y.

[the-fiction-witch]

IVY P9 & 10

Media: The Queens Gambit (2020)

Character: Benjamin Watts

Couple: Benny Watts X Reader

Rating: Sweet Af

Series: IVY

I sat having a sip of my apple juice as she set up IVY, making lots of little adjustments

"You ready?" she asks

"I am ready." I nodded

"Okay, white moves first"

I did my move and she slowly inputted it soon enough the little printer began to whir and out came the thin cream listing paper spat out the front she glanced at it keeping it attached to the machine and she did an opening it was slow work but we kept going playing on and on having to think quite intensely about everything, having to plan out every move I was going to make, and struggling given I can't read my opponent, I had no idea what IVY was going to do, I couldn't know what to expect of a machine, doing my best to figure out not only how to play this game but how to play against a computer how it thinks, how it plans and before I knew it-

"check. Benny... benny it's check. Isn't it?" she asks as that was the move given by IVY and...

"fuck. it's right. It's right. It's check." I muttered in disbelieve

"IVY..... IVY beat you."

"Yeah, I resign. IVY wins" I nodded laying down my king

"YES!" she smiled jumping out of her chair I jumped to give her a tight hug both of us almost crying

"I'm so proud of you pumpkin! you and IVY"

"I'm so happy, she plays. she works. she's smart enough to actually win a chess game. and she didn't blow up!" she cried

"she does she works, she plays she beat me! I've never been so happy to loose in my life"

"I've never been so happy, I can't belive it"

"I know something that could make you happier"

"what?"

"You know how we said that... we'd do when IVY was working?"

"wait... benny, you mean it?"

"I mean it. Y/n will you marry me?"

"YES!" she squealed hugging me even tighter

admittedly I never imagined I'd be here.

Or if I was then it would be either with beth holding my knife to my own neck.

Or with some poor chess girl and her father behind me with a shotgun.

But I was actually happy and excited with y/n snuggled into my arm and I couldn't stop holding her hand giving it strokes and squeezes at times as we sat waiting we would play thumb war and of course, I was winning four to three whoever one got a kiss and she beat me again making us equal again so I gave her head a kiss

"How much longer?" She asks

"No idea. they last called?"

"Sixteen"

"and we are... eighteen so not too long," I told her "did you want a real wedding?"

"Not really. no point spending all the time and money, why did you want a real wedding?"

"No. just wanted to make sure you're happy"

"I'm very happy benny"

"Okay pumpkin" I smiled giving her a little kiss "We should probably discuss the... legal stuff before we get in there"

"Like what?"

"Living situation?"

"I'm basically living with you, I'll formally move out of the dorm though"

"Okay, rents in my name so we'll stick with that."

"Good, separate finances and a join marriage account?" she offers

"Deal." I nodded "I'll set you up as what is it next of kin or is that automatic once we get married?"

"I don't know, you'll have to ask the man that"

They called for seventeen which made us jump a little the people heading off inside

"We're next then" she smiled

"Yep, we're next. Are you.... taking my last name?"

"would you like me to?"

"Its up to you pumpkin, if you want to keep your last name that's no problem"

"You could take mine"

"I could that's true. but then I'll have to change all my chess federation paperwork"

"True,"

"and my book."

"Ummm" she nods "Could always hyphen?"

"Eh sound a bit odd though"

"Yeah it would, Besides I like watts" she giggled

"Y/n watts, sounds very nice" I smirked pulling her closer

"what about IVY?"

"Humm well she can be watts too."

They called us so she gather her handbag and I got up fixing my jacket, we headed into the main part of the building and told them what we needed and we were sent over to a small office with a man behind a dusty desk

"Uhhh hello?" I spoke up

"Ahh yes?" he asks sitting up a little

"marriage right?"

"Yes yes take a seat," he says

we sat down and did the paperwork signing where we had to making all the agreements we had to make

"There you go, congratulations Mr and Mrs watts," he says handing us all our paperwork

"Thank you" she smiled widely and we headed out with our stuff

"oddly quick"

"I thought that but still all done now. Mrs Watts"

"Ummm legally" she smiled "But I need something"

"I know tomorrow we'll go out and get them from the place that did all my rings"

"Good, come on I'm going to make a pie" she smiled heading to the car

"Yes! sexy wife, who makes men pie. this is a good day"