#but also no money in the world could convince me to do any kind of science or business

[grlpartdoll]

part 2 :]

Can you imagine, after years of providing for the army — sort of old and a little bit grey — John Price, deciding to establish his own traveling agency.

He knows a lot of special spots, and knows too much about the history of the world. So he figures, after his honorable discharge from the military, that.. well, why not make money out of it?

His company grows quickly, eventually Soap and Gaz also decide that they've had enough, so they join, and the company grows again — under their careful direction.

They have an office building ten stories high now, and Ghost is the last to join after a lot of convincing (and an injury to his knee, but no one mentions that. At all.)

Price is their CEO, Gaz the marketing director, Soap the head of the client services and management teams, and Ghost becomes a Price's right hand.

Price knows he's not getting any younger, so he's steadily training Ghost to take his place, and getting Soap and Gaz used to the idea, too.

He'd asked Kyle, first, if he would like the position, to which he kindly denied and said he liked this — his own team, being able to do something that was pretty and purposeful for once.

Soap hadnt even let Price ask. He'd pointed to Ghost, during one of the meetings, and simply said ; "That' the big guy's job. Keep me outta' f'it."

So to Simon it went.

Since the transition is rough, and much more than Ghost — Simon — can handle all at once, Price makes him hire an assistant.

Comes in ; You!

Simon expects an old, cranky lady with office experience.

Instead he gets you, sunshiny, young — kind and with experience, sure, but so fucking clumsy.

You're still bright-eyed at your age, still have that sparkle in the depth of your twin stars. Ghost envies it, almost. If he didn't know what he did about the world, Simon would be glad to be like you. But unfortunately for him, he knew just how being innocent could harm someone.

Which is why he's out to break your little heart and your innocence.

Doesn't greet you back in the morning when you're all sing-songy, bidding the team that works in front of Simon's closed office a "goooood mornin'! I got donuts!"

Doesn't even look up from his pile of paperwork as you put down the tea on his desk — exactly how he likes it.

Just grunts as you go over what he needs to do on that specific day, the meetings he has, and the people he needs to call back.

But you don't let that deter you. You sit at your little desk just opposite of his, little kitten heels tip-tapping the whole way there. Maybe your hips sway a little. It's not like he was looking long enough to know, or anything.

Anyway — he's a horrible boss. Snappy. Angry. Grunt-y, and silent. He makes it known that he's disappointed in you when you make mistakes — but he always makes sure to go above and beyond what a normal boss should be. Always making sure you know that you're 'makin a mess on his carpet.' with your outside heels (you don't have the money to get inside and outside ones. So you wear yours inside and outside.) or that 'this chart is all wrong. Redo it before going home.' (you have a date tonight. It's 7pm, and you're supposed to stop working at five. Your date is at 7:30.)

It's no surprise that eventually, you start to be quieter around him — more avoidant, and certainly more skittish.

But it gets especially worse on that one day.

It was raining — you'd had the worst morning ever. Your shoes were all wet, including your socks. You'd dropped your coffee on your way in (sorry, receptionist) and you'd forgotten the report sheets you needed at home — a hour bus ride away.

Simon's knee aches worse on the pouring days, and he's more snappy, so you're usually careful around him.

But today, you've had enough, so you don't even bother greeting him, don't bother a smile. You don't even add any little joyful notes to his schedule while you rattle it off to him.

When lunchtime ticks by, you realize you forgot your lunch, so you have to order in, and you know it'll take longer, so you do extra work in the meantime, while you wait. Simon doesn't get up either.

When thirty minutes tick by and you still haven't gotten up, and your delivery person still hasn't reached the building, he looks up over the rim of his glasses, grunting.

"What're you doing."

"Pardon?" You ask, frowning.

"You usually are eating by now. Are you late in your work?"

"No—"

"Because, I've noticed you put in a notice for extra hours. 11 hours this week. And yet." He ticks his tongue at the pile of paperwork on your desk. At the mess you call your order. "Look' atcha. Right mess. And I still don't have last month's expenses chart I was supposed to get on Monday."

You lower your head. You were admittedly a bit in over your head — but that was because he refused to give your work to anyone else like Price had done it. John had always made sure the technical team handled most of what you were handed off now, and he'd also always made sure it was separated equally, so that not only one person had to shoulder all of the work.

But Simon — mister Riley, had it out for your head, and refused for his paperwork to be done by anyone but him and his assistant.

"I'm sorry, but —"

He grunts again. Removes his glasses and pinches the bridge of his nose. "That's not normal. If you're not capable of keeping up with this company, with the workload, then I suggest—"

You blink. This — this was the wave that broke the damn dam. "Oh, fuck off!"

Tears immediately began pouring from you then, fat heavy tears that you didn't even know had been waiting to be freed, rage swarming your senses as you picked up your bag from the floor beside you. You don't even feel your hands.

You stand from your chair, still with wet shoes that squeak uncomfortably under the sudden pressure and leave, slamming the door to his office behind you.

[rdr2gifs]

''the morning light, when it comes to me, it was there but I could not see''

Arthur’s life was profoundly shaped by his self-hatred, lack of self-worth and disbelief in the existence of kindness in a seemingly dark and cruel world.

I strongly disagree with the statement that Arthur only became a ‘’better’’ man after being diagnosed with tb. His struggle with his true/inner self is apparent as early as chapter one. ‘’You are not who you think you are, sir… which is lucky’’

He has lived a rough life, raised by criminals and surrounded by violence ever since he was born. It was installed in him early that his value lied within being a violent enforcer and he has lived this life since, knowing nothing else. As a highly aware person, Arthur's actions weight heavy on his soul. He accepts that his actions have consequences. He knows that a person who has caused so much suffering is not meant to have happiness in life. His way of life has caused him to believe that he is not worthy of love or redemption. He doesn’t want to believe that a person like him could be capable of any good. (a thing to note here is that imo, Arthur’s actions near his death weren’t attempts at redemption but rather a strong desire to do right and possibly be his true self.) This is why he keeps living as he does as it’s the only thing he’s ever known, it’s the thing that brings him profit, praise from the person he looks up to and he is already damned so he might as well continue living this life anyway.

The internal problem Arthur faces is that this violent, cruel way of life doesn’t align with what I’d call his true self/ideals. He is torn between the harsh reality he has known and an unconscious yearning for righteousness/love. To be able to carry on with his actions he must enforce certain ideals within himself, such as: I am bad, ugly, nasty, ignorant, mean etc. He also decides to see the dark side of reality, telling himself that the world is a grim dark place and this is just as things were meant to be. This is why he feels so uncomfortable being complimented for his good deeds, because a bad rotten person like him should not be able to do good. It breaks the image he has built for himself and he doesn’t want that happening. This can be seen a lot during the ‘’Money Lending and Other Sins’’ missions where he is unusually mean (even for his standards) to each of the debtors. Imo, he acts this way because he must truly convince himself of being a terrible man to be able to carry out a job which revolts him so badly. In the last debt collecting mission with J. John Weathers, it can be seen in his face/expressions how much he is struggling to put on a tough, uncaring, heartless act. He needs to maintain a ruthless persona to survive in the world he knows. He must convince himself of his own cruelty.

''Forgive me, but that's the problem. You don't know you.''

Contrary to Arthur’s beliefs, he is a naturally kind-hearted person who is unconsciously drawn towards kindness. And yes, even before he was diagnosed with tb. This can be seen in the people he respects the most and, in his willingness to help strangers (notice how he often does unnecessary acts of service for total strangers such as: carrying their things, holding out hands etc. even though they had already troubled him). Despite the life he has lived, Arthur does not enjoy violence, he does not enjoy hurting people. He doesn’t want to dominate over others. He thinks mostly about others and not about himself. This fact alone is very telling of his character.

He writes about Charles, a man who he truly respects: ‘’He’s a better man than me. He does not need to think to be good. It comes naturally to him, like right is deep within as opposed to this conflict between GOOD↔EVIL that rages within me.’’ A man who is not struggling with his inner self would not have written this. To me this clearly implies an inner desire to be a better man. He writes about his mentors: ‘’I love Dutch like a father, but in many ways, I love Hosea even more. He’s kind and fair and like a human being. Dutch is something else.’’ Clearly showing a preference for Hosea who is of a more gentle nature and shows genuine kindness. Unsurprisingly, these are the people who see through his dumb/though act and encourage him to drop it.

When he comes across Brother Dorkins for the first time, he writes: ‘’(he)was one of those innocent people who make you feel better about human beings and about yourself a little. Must be odd to see all that goodness in the world. Place always seemed dark and brutal to me.’’ Expressing how he does not see goodness in the world, implying lack of good examples/kindness/good experiences in his life. Yet, the monk leaves an impression and imo, this encounter (seeing genuine goodness) disrupts Arthur’s perception of what the world truly is. ‘’Just as evil begat evil your whole life long, so good may begat good’’ (what strengthens my belief in this, is the following, symbolic scene of Arthur realising the consequences of his actions right after picking up a crucifix. He was aware of them before sure, but is unable to truly ignore them now having seen it right in front of his eyes). If only Arthur was presented with more examples of goodness in his life.

''You have it in you... I can tell!''

His desire to do as much good as possible after realising he won’t live long is instant. This would not be the mindset of someone who did not already possess kindness in his heart. ‘’Know glory and forget about shame.’’ Arthur’s shame and self-loathing caused by his previous actions were what was holding him back from allowing kindness into his life. Knowing that he has limited time left has not made him into someone he wasn’t before. The diagnosis was a catalyst, allowing him to embrace that love/goodness truly does exist and accelerate the process of chipping away from the persona he has made for himself. This was a newfound understanding for him as in the past he was rejecting any notion of kindess. In himself and perhaps the whole existence of it. ‘’You keep hidden all that matters, even from yourself.’’

After being diagnosed, he writes: ‘’What kind of a man have I been? What kind of a man am I? What world is this we live in? A land of fury or a place of love? Am I being prepared for eternal damnation? Am I past any kind of saving? Is that all fairytales? Man ain’t got much good in him. I ain’t got no good in me… I don’t think and yet I see goodness. I see it. If not in me, in good folk. In Abigail and her love for Jack. In that silly monk. In Downes, I guess. Begging not for himself but for the poor, even though he was near starving himself. Maybe I don’t want salvation. Part of me has always longed for death.’’ This entry perfectly shows how deep Arthur’s self-loathing goes and just how much it has damaged him. As his journal allows a look into his true feelings, he truly does not see a single good thing about himself. He knew for a long time that the way he lives is detestable but he could not let go of it. Not because he didn’t want to, but because it’s all that he has ever known. He didn’t believe in anything else. This sudden acceptance of goodness has allowed him to see clearly, which was obscured from him before, and for the first time, enabled him to act free of past regrets for what is right.

⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪ ⊹ ࣪

Arthur’s redemption is not about becoming a good man. It is about finding the strength to change and recognise your true self despite a lifetime of self-loathing and breaking free from destructive beliefs of the past.

In Arthurian legends a stag is a symbol of the unending quest of spiritual knowledge/enligtenment

[bratzforchris]

The Joker and The Queen-J.G. ·:¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨:·

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

Summary: In which Johnnie is convinced you would be better off with a mortal boyfriend, only for you to remind him that it isn't worldly things that please you. Loosely based off The Joker and The Queen by Taylor Swift and Ed Sheeran <3

Pairing: Vampire!Johnnie x feminine human!reader

Warnings: Smut, unprotected p in v, rough sex, missionary, marking, making out, creampie, emotional scenes, no aftercare scene

Word Count: 1.4k

A/N: This is Pt. 2 to the vampire!Johnnie fic I posted a little while ago--you don't have to read Pt. 1, but I do recommend it! Also, I love this song so much. It reminds me of Johnnie so bad :')

*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧*

You had never believed in the supernatural or urban myths and legends. However, all that had changed three months ago when you’d met Johnnie. Somehow, in some strange turn of events, you’d met an actual vampire. In the world of vampires, each one had their soulmate, whether the other person be a mortal or another vampire. And so, only three months later, you and Johnnie were dating. Because of the soulmate tie, you two were much more intertwined than most couples were at this stage, but you didn’t mind it. 

Since being together, you had aided Johnnie in the repair of his once beautiful Harbordale Manor, turning it from disrepair to the glory it once was. The mansion was nowhere near as full of life and splendor as it once had been, simply due to the nature of keeping who and what Johnnie was a secret, but you didn’t mind. You were still able to attend your university classes, while living with your lover, your best friend Tara, and her boyfriend, Jake, who just happened to be a werewolf and Johnnie’s best friend. In your book, that was perfect. Though your small ‘found family’ was odd and rather creepy by societal standards, it was perfect to you. 

But even with all your confirmation of the life you were loving, Johnnie still worried about you. You were the sunshine to his darkness. He wasn’t always the good man you thought he was. His hands were stained with blood, while you were the purest soul he had ever known. 

“Y/N?” he asked as you two laid in your enormous canopy bed one evening. “Are you happy, my dear?”

“Of course I am!” You smiled. “Why do you ask?”

“I just worry for you, baby bat,” Johnnie mumbled, swiping a cold thumb across your cheek. “I’m worried you think I’m someone I’m not.”

“What do you mean?” You asked him, cocking your head. 

“You are perfect. You are innocent and kind and light. You’re what I’m not. I am a killer, Y/N.” Johnnie was beginning to grow frustrated at you not realizing who he truly was. 

“You couldn’t help it,” You insisted. “You were an innocent kid who went through an insane amount of trauma and you didn’t know any better than to feed on humans. You don’t do that now, my love. You’re perfectly okay.”

“I make you live here,” Johnnie said regretfully. “You should be out enjoying your life. You could have anyone else, blood flower. Someone that could give you everything you desire. You could have a king to your queen instead of a joker.”

Though Johnnie had lived to see modern times, he had been raised in a different time. He lived secluded, stuck in a past that wasn’t there anymore. His words were formal, but you could hear the hurt in his voice as he preached ideas he truly believed. 

“What if I don’t want that?” You asked, eyeing him. “I don’t need money, or fancy gestures, or whatever else you think a perfect man does. I need someone who shows they love me, and you do that, Johnnie. Vampire or not, I would love you either way,” You explained softly, kissing his cheek. When Johnnie didn’t respond, watching you with curious eyes, you continued. “I’ve been hurt before by men. Many times, actually. Rich human men at that.”

You moved into Johnnie’s lap, sitting so that you were facing him. You trailed a finger across his strong, clear cut jaw, feeling the smooth, cool texture that resembled stone against your own skin. Once you got to his plump lips, you planted a kiss on them before speaking. “Show me your fangs.” You commanded softly. 

Johnnie opened his mouth as asked, allowing his normally smaller fangs to grow to a healthy three inches. You went to trace the white points until your boyfriend grabbed your wrist, a dark glare in his eyes. 

“Don’t,” he bit out. “You’re playing a dangerous game.”

You and Johnnie both knew that his fangs held venom, and if you were to cut your finger by accident, there would be no choice but for him to change you or leave you for dead. “What if I wanted to be changed?” You asked. 

“I’m not doing that, baby bat. Not yet. You still have a life to live.” Johnnie seemed to soften, a regretful look on his face. 

He wanted to change you. He really, really did. But he knew that once he did so, you were bound to the immortal life, forever the age you were now. He didn’t want that for you yet. You needed to live first. You ignored his words, beginning to kiss and make out with him. Despite his cold skin, Johnnie’s mouth was warm and tasted like sin and heaven mixed together. You ran your tongue across his fangs as a soft ‘hello’, until your lover grabbed your hips, causing you to moan softly. 

“I want you to show me, Johnnie,” You said lustfully. “Show me that those other men don’t matter. That you’re the one I need,” You were beginning to grow warm with arousal as you felt Johnnie’s dick harden beneath you. “Show me I’m your queen.”

“You really want that?” he asked, raising a brow as a smirk grew on his face. “You want me to make you mine? Show you what it feels like to be fucked by a vampire?”

You nodded eagerly, smashing your lips to Johnnie’s once more as he grabbed your hips, flipping so that he was now on top of you. He used his fangs to rip your shirt off in one smooth motion, smirking hungrily at your breasts. Before you knew it, Johnnie was beginning to leave hickeys all over your body, marking every curve of your skin with his print. You moaned at the sensations alighting all over your body, making your nipples pebble into hard points. 

“Johnnie,” You whimpered, hands moving to tangle in his raven hair. “I need you.”

The vampire took that as consent for him to practically rip the small shorts and panties you were wearing off. He could smell your blood through the rhythm of your pulse, and part of him wanted to take you so bad and change you into something equally as sinful as he was. Johnnie knew he couldn’t do that yet, so he opted to flick his tongue over your pubic bone and graze his fangs across your slit. 

“You’re soaked for me, blood flower.” Johnnie grumbled, licking his lips. 

“I…” You panted, already close to climaxing and your boyfriend had barely touched you. “I need you inside of me.”

Johnnie wasted no time in taking off his pants and black, button up shirt. Without another warning for you, he immediately slammed his full length into you, pounding out a furious rhythm. You groaned with pleasure at the feeling of being suddenly so full, and you moved your hands from his hair to his back, clawing him with pleasure at the sensations you were feeling. 

“Oh my god, right there, Johnnie.” You whined and whimpered when he hit a particularly sensitive spot. 

“You gonna cum, baby bat?” Your boyfriend asked you, swiping a strand of hair from your face as his own black fringe stuck to his forehead. 

You nodded and whimpered, arching your back as you desperately tried for more. Johnnie continued to pound into you, until he gave you a look that you knew meant he was close to his own orgasm. 

“On the count of three, you’re gonna cum with me, love,” Johnnie commanded. “1, 2, 3…” 

On the last number, your boyfriend immediately released his load into you, throwing his head back with a beautiful moan at the feelings taking over his own body. You also went through your own climax, whimpering and squealing as your heat clenched.  Johnnie’s sex was unlike anything you had ever experienced before; it was rough and raw and straight up fucking, but it also held a sensual, passionate note beneath the surface. 

Johnnie pulled out of you, licking his fangs with a smirk. “Did that prove it to you? Or should I go suck the fucking life out of another man who even dares to look at you?”

Over the course of your sex, Johnnie had become dominant and possessive, taking you as his own, and showing you what he was at his core: a predator. You didn’t seem to care though, for you rolled on top of him on your sweaty sheets, peppering kisses across his face. 

“I don’t want a king, or a castle, or anything else,” You told him. “I want you, Johnnie. Forever.”

tags ♡: @aemrsy @jake-and-johnnies-slut @oobleoob @idek3000hi @melguilbert

note ♡: if you'd like to be added to my taglist, click here <3

[etheries1015]

Adult (20+) MC finally figures out how to properly make money, BESIDES working for Azul. Become not only the prefect and be a student, but an on the call designated therapist!

"Crowley, really. I'm far older than the other students, it is not my fault the mirror has brought you a full grown adult rather than another proper student! I finished all of my schooling where I am from, I do not wish to repeat it along side these....kids!" You had complained to him. Well, what was he to do? The mirror had obviously chosen you to be at that school, you had no other merits at the time to offer him, and to simply put it...without a way to go home, what else could possibly occupy your time in a world in which you know nothing about, than gather intel by throwing yourself into the most prestigious of schools? The answer seemed obvious at the time, until you realized just how bad it was.

Teenagers are still teenagers, after all. Especially a bunch of teenage boys surrounded by...well... Other teenage boys. Magic or not, they were still going through any other mental struggles as any normal human. However, putting magic into the mix had surely caused you some...extra unprecedented grief you had never needed to worry about in your world. After what, three? Four? Overblots and life endagerment exibitions, you had an epiphany. With extensive knowledge of the human brain system, life experience, and a plothera of coping mechanisms under your belt, what better way to open the door than to become none other than the designated student body therapist?

With some rather convincing techniques, you had managed to convince Crowley to, as you put it...

"Let me take this off of your plate! You are so busy being such an amazing head master running this school as perfectly as you are, I understand the durasic increase of overblots have your hands tied behind your back! As you know, I am an adult with ample experience in the field of mental health. Although I don't have the documents to prove it as much at this time seeing as they are back in my world....I just know you will not regret hiring me as a therapist."

A few more convincing lines (and perhaps a week of pestering, begging, manipulating-- I mean convincing , he had eventually hired you as the school therapist! With, of course, the expectation that you had to take an additional class to further certify you were able to properly do such a job. (You were kind of mad a bout that, seeing as you knew you were qualified, but hey. Pick and choose your battles I guess. At least you managed to get by with a couple additional classes, instead of a million years of schooling.)

You had a personal office in ramshackle, an empty dorm becoming suitable with your own personal desk, computer, book shelf, and another necessities. You had a location in the main building, the room connected to the nurses office had been refurnished as your main office. Book shelves of self care, items for fiddling with, bean bags, posters with encouraging words, and a desk full of papers, along with other needed items graciously funded by the school (you threatened Crowley at one point, accusing him of not caring of his students.) Of course, being on call meant students may drop by the dorm at any given time for your aid and expertise, so the ramshackle dorm lounge was also redecorated suited for sessions that were a bit more casual.

But of course, you also managed to juggle your studies as a student, wanting to continue to learn about magic. Working on the call was nice, keeping your phone on and excusing yourself whenever official work called for you. Unless you rather not be a student, that is fine, too. Full time therapist work may be the job for you!

Helping students heal one tragic back story at a time seemed perfectly fitting. (You just wanted to finally get paid and recognized for what you were already doing.)

[childrenofcain-if]

The marriage asks in particular have me thinking about the baby carriage… what WOULD the ro’s thoughts on parenthood be? Would Elias be excited to be a grandpa?

elias would be over the moon about becoming a grandfather! he’s the kind of man who, despite his big flaws, deeply values family. the prospect of grandchildren would awaken his softer side, and he would likely spoil them, enjoying the chance to pass down stories and wisdom.

he would see becoming a grandfather as a second chance to contribute to the family legacy, this time with a bit more patience and less trauma hopefully. all he asks of MC is that they do not bring a child into the world while they’re in college 🤦🏻‍♂️

when it comes to the ROs tho:

C LACROIX: C’s feelings are complex when it comes to parenthood. on one hand, they would likely feel some hesitation, perhaps even fear, given the deep scars left by their own childhood. the thought of becoming a parent brings the risk of repeating the same cycle of trauma.

a child is too fragile, too malleable, and C would never forgive themselves if they bent that child into something broken, something like them. still, there’s a small, infinitesimal part of C that would see their child—if it ever happened—as a way to prove they were better than alain. they would probably be deeply protective, albeit occasionally overbearing, but they’d channel their ambition into ensuring their child never feels the abuse or pain they did.

V NÆSHOLM: V would feel a deep, quiet fear at the mention of parenthood. their faith is a comfort, yes, but it’s also a reminder of their own failings, of how often they fall short of the ideal they cling to. what would they teach a child? how would they guide them? they’d feel the weight of moral obligation, the pressure of doing right by the child in the eyes of god. after all, their own biological parents had abandoned them and their fraternal twin on the doorsteps of an orphanage.

but there’s also a strange tenderness there, something hopeful in the way they might imagine holding a child in their arms, a child that’s half them and half the person they love. they’d worry about their own sins, but somewhere in their heart, they’d believe that raising a child could be an act of redemption and understanding.

W OSTENDORF: W is likely to approach parenthood with both fear and fascination. as a reclusive and introverted person, they feel quite overwhelmed by the responsibility that comes with raising a child. they struggle to take care of themselves sometimes—how could they possibly take care of a child? they’d doubt themselves constantly, convinced that they’d never be enough, that they’d fumble through every decision and even end up faring worse than even their neglectful parents.

but—and this is the tender part—there’s also a quiet yearning in W for family, for a place where they belong. they’d look at a child and see it as a second chance, a way to build something safe, something pure, out of the chaos of their own life. that’s their call to start a family filled with nothing but care and love. of course they’d be scared and unsure at first, but they’d try to never make their kid(s) feel abandoned in any turn of their life.

D DIACONU: D would laugh, loud and carefree, brushing off the notion of parenthood as something too serious for them. they’re the one who wants no attachment whatsoever, the one who flits from one moment to the next without a care in the world. they’d make some offhand joke about how they’re too pretty to settle down with a kid, how they’d be the worst parent in the world and even give their mother a run for her money.

but deep down—far, far down—there’s a part of D that craves a connection like that. a child would be terrifying, yes, but also intriguing. could they really do it? could they be more than their own fears, more than the mess of emotions they so often try to bury? they wouldn’t admit it, but they’d be tempted by the idea of a child who looks at them with nothing but trust, with pure love untainted by who they are and where they’re from. you will not be able to recognise the person they’d become after that.

M WHITLOCK-SINGH: there was never a question of never having kids with M. it didn’t matter if the kids were biological or adopted, their list of responsibilities included being a parent sometime in the future. there’s duty in it, a sense of tradition that’s woven into the fabric of who they are. they’d be meticulous, careful in how they planned for this future, because they know that everything they do would reflect on their child.

there’s love in it too—deep, steady, enduring love. M wouldn’t be the kind of parent who lavishes their child with expensive stuff, but they’d be the kind who makes sure that child never wants for anything, who guides them with a firm but gentle hand. they’d take it seriously because for M, parenthood would be as much about a legacy as it is about love and care. they’d feel the pressure obviously, but they’d carry it with the grace expected of them.

[tetta-kissaki]

somewhat hyper specific kinks i think each tr guy would have and why

hello everyone i have spent weeks thinking abt this and making a list so if this post does okay i might do a few more parts of this hehe. cw for most of these HGNSJFND

takemichi- starting off with some wild cards: bdsm and cbt. have u seen him in a fight? he absolutely does not back down, and he’s not much different during sex. like i know he wants to show his girl how strong he is and that he can take it.

chifuyu- autogynephilia. don’t really have an explanation for this one it just feels right JGNSJFNS

mikey- macrophilia. he’s only 5’3. he’s a little guy. i feel like the invincible mikey getting dommed by a much bigger and taller woman would absolutely rock his world LMAO

draken- everybody in all the discord servers i’m in have all unanimously agreed with this one. he’s into watersports. he just loves the feeling of his girl pissing on his cock.

baji- i feel like he’s into acarophilia, aka scratching. he’s into marking in general, but he will absolutely break the skin on your back and make you bleed. he likes receiving, too- especially if his girl is wearing acrylic nails.

mitsuya- he’s so generous. his girl is so pretty that he can’t just keep her to himself! he’s also very loyal to his friends even though they want a piece of her. so what does he do about it? he loves cuckolding. she just looks so beautiful letting his friends do whatever they want to her. who is he watching you with, though? draken, mikey, and hakkai are his favorites, but if any of his friends ask, he’ll say yes.

hakkai- hear me out- heterophilia, aka the idealization of non-straight people who are “straight acting”. weird one, i know. BUT on hakkai’s wiki it says he dislikes effeminate people so it just makes sense to me.

nahoya- pet play! he’d be the best puppy. he’s energetic and playful, loves when his handler pets his hair, looks real cute in a collar and leash, and he whimpers :)

souya- menophilia. just the smell of his girl’s period blood drives him crazy. he can slide his dick inside of her so easily when she’s on her cycle, and he loves the feeling of it. he loves the taste of it on certain days, too. he read somewhere that sex can help ease the cramps, so he’s not just doing it for his own pleasure.

taiju- do i even have to explain why i think taiju would be into chastity?

kokonoi- i bet u thought i was gonna go with some kind of money kink but nope! he has a foot fetish. he gives his girl money to get pedicures, buys her nice heels to wear, gives a mean foot massage, and loves the way they look in nylons.

inupi- knife and blood play. this one might be a bit on the nose because he’s always carrying that pocket knife around, but come on. he has a whole collection of custom knives specifically for bedroom use and you can’t convince me otherwise.

kisaki- he’s into erotic hypnotism. he loves a submissive girl and he wants her to feel as relaxed as possible and as good as possible.

hanma- autofellatio. he’s a tall, lanky dude. he could do it.

kazutora- similar to chifuyu’s, i don’t really have anything to back this one up. it just makes sense. he’s into stygiophilia, which is arousal by thoughts of hell and eternal damnation.

ran- he takes really good care of himself. he has a specific skin care routine, gets his hair done frequently, and showers twice a day. he looks good and feels good, so of course he’d wanna watch himself masturbate or fuck his girl in front of a mirror so he can see himself! he’s into katoptronophilia. he even has a mirror on his ceiling above his bed.

rindou- he’s into voyuerism and degredation and i will die on that hill. maybe his girl is a bit of an exhibitionist who likes to spice up even the most mundane activities. she’ll flash her tits at him anywhere and everywhere. god, she’s such a slut, but she’s already got her tits out in front of god and everybody, so she might as well just take her top all the way off. a delicious combination of kinks to have in my humble opinion.

sanzu- he’s unhinged and a freak. he’s into peodeiktophilia. he gets off on flashing his dick at people. frottuerism, too.

izana- primal play. he’s fast and also a little bit crazy. he would absolutely love to chase his girl in the woods.

kakucho- say it with me eveybody: mommy kink! he’s pretty dependent on his girl and she makes him feel safe and loved. this is kinda teetering on the edge of age play, but he also loves to suck on her tits.

shinichiro- that man definitely has a praise kink. giving specifically, but i’m not sure if there’s a different word for that. idk about u guys but i’d absolutely fold if i heard the words “you’re doing such a good job! i’m so proud of you!” come out of his mouth.

naoto- roleplaying with naoto would go so hard. he’s good at it! he works in the law enforcement field, so he knows how to play the role of a cop who needs to punish his naughty criminal girl. he’s got the props, too!

tags: @arlerts-angel @fountain-baby @dcsiremc @trevengersprincess @ringsofsaturnnnn @sleazymac-n-cheesy @duckykisaki @hrtsriri @reiners-milkbiddies

[sergeantbuckybarnes]

anti-heroe // billy russo

Summary: You’re assigned to eliminate Frank Castle. But how can you do it? He’s your boyfriend’s best friend. And Billy has no idea you used to kill for money.

Pairing: Billy Russo x BlackWidow!Reader

Word count: 4.3k

Warnings: soft billy, implied smut, murder, stabbing, blood, lame descriptions of fighting, angst, a bit of fluff

A/N: As always, remember English is not my first language. Thanks to @wannab-urs​ for proofreading this!

main masterlist

Karen was already in bed when the sound of frantic knocking on her door startled her. Her heart raced as the sound grew louder and more insistent with each passing moment. She turned to the alarm clock on her bed table flashing 10:30 pm.

Who could be knocking at this hour?

She slowly got up and crept toward the door. As she got closer, the knocking continued, and she heard a faint voice calling out her name.

She cautiously opened the door, her features quickly twisting into a horrified expression at the scene in front of her eyes — you, bleeding, the handle of a knife protruding from your stomach, your left arm loosely hanging on the neck of a blonde woman who had her arm wrapped around your waist to hold you steady.

“A little help here?”

48 HOURS EARLIER

The sun was rising and the birds were singing outside. A strong arm was wrapped around your waist, and his breath was hitting the back of your neck. You smiled and snuggled into his warm chest, feeling content and happy. Even though you'd only been together for a little over a year, you couldn't imagine living without the feeling of being in his arms.

Billy stirred behind you, and you felt his arm tighten around you. “Good morning, beautiful,” he murmured against your neck, leaving scorching open-mouthed kisses there. 

Those three little words were enough to make your heart flutter.

You turned to face him, and he trailed his lips toward yours. You gazed into his eyes, taking in the moment. You had never considered yourself a lucky person, but meeting Billy changed your outlook on life. Being there, nestled in his arms, made the world outside seem less twisted. Billy's embrace erased every negative memory, feeling, or thought you had. You were safe there, with him. He was home.

You knew you were in love with the ex-marine, but you were wise to refrain from saying the three words. Frank had made it a point, when you and Billy got together, to inform you that this was Billy's first serious relationship --finally choosing quality over quantity. You weren't sure if he was trying to scare you or what, but it had the opposite effect. It gave you some kind of... confidence? Because this was also your first serious relationship. Well, it was your first relationship. Period.

You didn’t want to scare him with these feelings, especially when you weren’t sure if they were reciprocated. So you preferred to keep basking in what you had. 

“Good morning, handsome,” you whispered softly against his lips. Your breath mingled with his before you crashed your lips against his, in a not-so-soft kiss.

You were soon trapped beneath him, and although having Billy Russo on top of you was very enticing, and you would have taken that road any other day, you put a palm on his chest, backing him up a little.

“I have to go to work, and so do you.”

Billy groaned in frustration.

“You don’t have to work in that dreadful place; you know you could work for me.” 

It wasn't the first time Billy had offered you a position at ANVIL so you wouldn't have to work at the coffee shop, and just like the other times, you turned the offer down.

“So everyone can gossip that I made my way there through being tangled in the boss’ sheets? Thank you, but no.”

“You know I wouldn’t let anybody shame you like that,” he said it in such a convincing and certain tone that it almost convinced you. Almost.

“You can’t control anything, Billy.”

“I sure can try.”

You wrapped your arms around his neck and bring him down toward you, minimizing the gap between the two of you. 

“I like my job.”

“No, you don’t.”

No, you didn’t. You hated how well he knew you. But the truth is, the job at the coffee shop is the best you could aspire for—You didn't even have a high school diploma; you didn’t have anything to apply for a well-paying proper job. And part of the reason you didn’t take Billy’s offer was because you didn’t want him to pity you or just give you a good position because you were his girlfriend.

“Just hear me out,” Billy said, his voice earnest. “You're smart, hardworking, and I know you would excel in a corporate setting. Plus, we could spend even more time together.”

You sighed. “Billy, I appreciate your confidence in me, but I want to earn my own success, not just have it handed to me because of our relationship."

“I’m not gonna convince you, am I?”

You shook your head, “But you’re always welcome to try.”

You closed the gap and let yourself get lost in him.

Today was a particularly busy day. You were wiping down counters and restocking coffee mugs when you saw a familiar face that made your stomach drop.

You could feel her eyes on you as you continued to wipe down the counter. You tried to complete your task quickly, hoping that you could escape to the back room before she had the chance to say anything. But before you were able to get away, she waved you over to her table.

You took a seat across from her and nervously fiddled with your apron. She seemed delighted to see you, greeting you like you were long-time friends, with a smile plastered on her face that you could tell was far from being genuine.

“What are you doing here, Valentina?” you sighed.

It was obvious she didn’t make her way to the coffee shop you worked at just because she was a coffee lover. Valentina Allegra de Fontaine never did anything without a motive.

“I have a job for you.”

You squint your eyes at the woman.

“I’m retired. Go and find someone else.”

You promised yourself when you got free that you’d never go back to that life. You couldn't undo what you'd done in the past, but you weren’t under chemical subjugation anymore, you were free, and you wanted to live a normal life — the life you never had the opportunity to have. The life Dreykov took away from you when you were barely three years old, and he decided an orphan child would be a good killing machine someday. You’d spent the last 25 years of your life being a puppet, and you refused to be one again.

“You’re going to be interested in this one. Trust me,” she insisted. 

You knew the woman well enough to know she wasn’t going to drop the subject, and you noticed the queue of people forming behind her. 

“I have a break in five minutes.”

You opened the door of the shop and a gust of wind hit your face. You were relieved to be out of the cramped, stuffy store taking a deep breath of the fresh, cool air. You started walking down the street, feeling the wind tousling your hair.

You reached a nearby alley, knowing Valentina was waiting for you. It had been about a year since you last saw the woman. You had no idea how she had found you because you thought you had done a fantastic job of remaining under her radar. You doubted Yelena had sold you out, that was not typical of her.

“Well?” You asked as you rounded the corner. Just as you had anticipated, there she was. Valentina Allegra de Fontaine's composure and elegance were nearly impossible to overlook. Though this clearly wasn't her preferred hangout, it didn't appear to bother her. She was a woman who could adapt to anything, never looking out of place even when she so clearly stood out.. 

Her appearance matched her personality; Valentina was a powerful woman who easily influenced people; fortunately for you, you knew her well enough not to fall for her ruses.

She handed you the file she was holding when she walked in the coffee shop before. “They’re offering $200,000 to take him down.” 

You glanced bewildered at the woman. That was a substantial sum of money. 

“Why me?” You inquired. 

“Because you’re the best.”

You averted your gaze from her and opened the file. The blood drained from your face when you saw the picture of the man in the file.

“Who wants him dead?”

“That I can’t tell.”

Your attention remained fixated on the photograph, as a maelstrom of emotions and thoughts raced through every inch of your body.

“Well, what do you say? Do you want to get back into business, or do you want to spend the rest of your life pouring coffee and struggling to make ends meet?”

You closed the file and tossed it to her. 

“I’m not gonna kill Frank Castle.”

“You’re too quiet,” Billy pointed. He had noticed something was worrying you. Yet he was hesitant to ask you. The last thing he wanted was to upset you more. But as the night went on your distress didn’t subside, and he started to get really worried.

You looked at him, “I’m fine,” you simply said. 

“No, you’re not,” he grabbed the book you were pretending to read, “Did something happen at work?”

You shook your head.

“What’s worrying you, love?”

You sighed. You didn’t want to lie to him, but you couldn’t tell him the truth either. “Just tired. It’s been a busy day.”

You knew he wasn't fooled by your pathetic excuse, but fortunately, he didn't press the issue.

“I can help you relax,” he said instead, pulling a strand of hair out of the way so he could kiss your neck, moving up the line of your jaw and back down your throat.. His lips moved along your skin, sending sparks of pleasure through your veins. You closed your eyes and relaxed into the sensation, feeling your body come alive with anticipation.

You needed a distraction right now, and Billy was always too good at taking your mind off problems.

“Yes, please,” your voice came as a faint whisper, just barely audible to him.

“Anything you want?”

You turned to look at him and soon you were lost in his dark eyes. His eyes held so much emotion that it felt like you could combust.

“Just make me forget my shitty day.”

A smirk lifted in his perfect features, “That I can do.” 

He easily lifted you off the couch, your legs wrapped around his waist, one arm loosely draped around his neck while your other hand gripped his jaw and you collided your lips against his in a sloppy kiss as he carried you to the bedroom.

You raised your hand and knocked on Yelena's apartment door. After a few seconds of waiting, she heard footsteps approaching. The door opened, revealing a disheveled Yelena.

“What was the emergency?” Yelena asked, as you stepped inside and glanced around the apartment. It was bigger than yours, but just as cluttered. 

“Hope, it’s not too early,” you said when you saw her yawning.

“No. Not at all. I was already up anyways,” she said, rubbing her eyes. “So what brings you here?”

You shifted uncomfortably from one foot to the other. “I need to talk to you about something.”

“Okay,” Yelena said as she headed to the kitchen. “Do you want some coffee?”

“No, thanks,” You replied as you followed Yelena. “Has Val contacted you?”

Yelena turned around, visibly surprised. “No, she hasn’t. I’m on holiday.”

“Good for you,” you muttered dryly. “She came to my workplace to offer me a job.”

“How did she find you?”

“Good question. But that’s not why I’m here. The target she offered me is my friend’s boyfriend.”

“Well, that sucks.”

Typical Yelena. Emphatic as always.

“Who do you think is going to take over?” You asked her, “Sonya? Maybe Antonia?”

Yelena shrugged, “No idea.”

“Come on, Yelena. An innocent man could die!” You exclaimed, exasperated.

Sometimes her emotional detachment drove you insane.

“If Val took the case he’s not innocent.”

“I know this dude, he’s a good man.” 

You were sure that whoever ordered this murder was someone with a vendetta against The Punisher and they didn’t want to get their hands dirty by doing the job themselves.

“And what do you want us to do?”

“Protect him.”

“You said you didn’t want to get involved in this life again!” Yelena exclaimed.

“I’m not gonna murder anyone. I'm going to stop someone from being killed." You defended yourself..

“Who is this guy anyway?”

“Frank Castle.”

“The Punisher?” Yelena's eyes widened in surprise. Oh, so she knows him. “He’s a 40-year-old man with military training, I think he’s more than capable of protecting himself.”

“Not against one of us,” you said. Yelena looked at you, “Do you think another widow is going to balk when she has to pull the trigger and put a bullet through his head with a sniper rifle?”

“Ты и твой героиновый комплекс,” she murmured under her breath.

“пожалуйста сестра,” you pleaded

“Do you have a crush on this guy or something?”

“What? No! I just told you he’s my friend’s boyfriend, and not only that but my boyfriend’s best friend.”

“You got yourself a boyfriend? Damn, girl, you livin’ the good life,” she made a brief pause, then asked, “Is he hot?” She wriggled her eyebrows and you let out a chuckle.

“He’s so fucking hot.”

You almost forgot what it was like to be on a mission —spying on someone, following their movements, watching and learning their weakness.  This time was different. For the first time, you weren’t learning the best way to kill a target. You were learning how to protect one.

You and Yelena found yourselves crouched on the rooftop of the building opposite Frank's apartment. From there you had the perfect view of his house and the street. He hadn’t left his place since you arrived a few hours ago, which made things a little easier. 

“There’s someone else there with him,” Yelena said, looking through the binoculars. 

You turned to her, “What? No one has entered the building since we arrived.”

“Maybe he was already there, just out of view.”

You took the binoculars from her hands and brought them close to your eyes. 

“Oh no.” 

Your voice betrayed you and it didn’t pass Yelena who started to swamp you with questions. “What? You know the other guy? Is he a threat? Should we intervene?” 

“What’s Billy doing here?”

It only complicated things more. God, you hated your life.

“Wait… Is that lover boy?” She took the binoculars from your hands. “Черт, он горячий. Вы точно знаете, как их выбирать.”

She then turned your attention to you. “Does he know?”

You knew exactly what she meant by that.

“No.”

“It's better that way.”

You turned to her, “Is it? Because I feel immense guilt every time I look at him. Every time he asks me about my childhood and I have to feed him lies, I feel like a horrible person. Especially when he has been nothing but honest with me.”

“If you had told him the truth he would have run out,” you looked at her, she paused briefly and then continued, “We’re not like Natasha. We’re not an Avenger. We’re not the trained killer on the cover of a magazine that kids call their hero. And you may have left this life, but this life never leaves you. The sooner you understand that, the better.”

You wanted to believe that Billy would have understood what you went through. He had to, right? Then why haven’t you told him.

“They’re leaving.”

Yelena’s voice pulled you out of your trance. Seconds later, Billy and Frank were walking out the doors of the building. Not much later, a dark figure appeared from a nearby alley and was now discreetly following the men.

“We have to go down,” you said as you reached for a wire to attach to the front of the building, but your friend reached her hand, stopping you.

“Wait.”

“Wait for what?”

You didn’t want to take any chances. You pulled on your mask and night vision goggles, concealing your entire face. You secured your grappling hook on the rooftop and started repelling down to the ground. You moved quickly and gracefully, making it look easy.

“ебать,” Yelena muttered under her breath before following your actions.

You didn't exactly land quietly; as you neared the bottom, you let go of the rope and slid to the ground. And the fact that there wasn't a single soul on the street didn't help either. Billy and Frank didn't have time to acknowledge your presence before Yelena landed next to you and another three people stepped out of the shadows, blocking their path.

“What the fuck?” you muttered to yourself. 

“What the hell is this?” Frank demanded..

“You pissin’ the wrong people off again, Frankie?”

The dark figure that had come out of the alley was still behind the two men, you lifted your right arm, the Widow’s bite ready to take the aim, and in the blink of an eye, an electrical discharge hit them. One down.

At this, two of the other persons dressed in black attacked Billy and Frank. Frank threw a punch at one of them, and Billy kicked the other one. The last one standing made a move toward you, but before you could hit them with a taser disk, Yelena took them out with a bullet in their skull.

The sound of the shot bounced off the silence of the street, and it only made the other two people who were fighting Billy and Frank fight harder. One of them pulled a knife from their suit pocket, and nimbly slashed Frank across the face, followed by a kick to the chest that staggered Frank a bit. In turn, the other fighter had managed to immobilize your boyfriend, forcing him to his knees and  aiming a Heckler & Koch P30 at his head.

Rage ran through your blood, “Я бы не стал этого делать, если бы я был тобой,” you stepped closer, “держись от него подальше.”

They laughed at you in response, which only infuriated you more. You sprinted at them, and with a swift flick of your leg, you knocked the revolver out of their hand, freeing Billy from their clutches. 

You took a  swing at the masked attacker, who easily blocked it and then jumped back to avoid the next one. You moved with grace and precision, as if you had been born to fight, and in a way, you had been. They were struggling to keep up, you could sense their desperation, and took advantage of it. 

You went for the kill. You delivered a powerful kick that sent the attacker against the building’s wall. They tried to stand up, but you had already moved in for the finishing move. You grabbed their neck and twisted it sharply, breaking it in one swift move.

When you turned to see if Yelena was okay, you noticed the one Frank had been fighting lay  motionless on the ground. He reached down and removed the mask his adversary had been wearing the entire time, revealing a young dark-haired woman no older than 30 years old.

So you were correct. They all were Widows.

“You know this woman?” He asked, turning to face your boyfriend, who was approaching him.

Billy inspected the woman's face and then shook his head. Then, the two men's attention was drawn toward you and Yelena. 

“Мы должны уйти. Наша работа здесь сделана,” Yelena said when she sensed their gaze on her.

“Oh dear, no one is leaving. The fun has just begun.”

That didn't come from any of you, but rather from a newcomer to the scene —a redhead in a white suit.

Why wasn’t she wearing a mask like the others?

A gun was visible in one of her suit's front pockets, and she held a dagger in her right hand. She moved to strike Frank, but you stepped in the line of fire, your body taking the full brunt of the impact. You grunted in agony as the cold dagger pierced your stomach and the redhead twisted it inside you.

The two men were frozen at the scene that had just unfolded in front of their eyes. Yelena screamed for you. She sprang into action and charged at the redhead, punching her and deflecting every blow and kick from her, eventually knocking her to the ground. The redhead was helpless and Yelena was filled with rage, her knuckles turning white as she grasped the woman’s throat. Yelena tightened her grip and squeezed, the woman's eyes widened in shock and then she was still.

Meanwhile, you were on your knees, bleeding on the street, the dagger still piercing your stomach, your breath shallow and feeble. You felt Yelena kneel by your side.

“You’re gonna be okay,” she tried to reassure you, but it was clear from her wavering voice she needed as much convincing as you.

“Your friend needs to go to the hospital,” Frank said, concerned. Even if he had no idea who you were, you had saved his life for whatever reason. 

“Yeah? And what do we tell them?” Yelena’s voice was strained. She wasn’t a particularly  emotional person, but you also knew you were as important to her as she was to you. Yelena was fiercely protective of the people she cared about, and she was not going to let you die. 

She helped you get up on your feet, carefully. You clenched your teeth, trying not to scream from the pain. Yelena supported your weight and began walking along the street.

“Where are you going?” This time was Billy who yelled, incredulously. 

But even if you were walking at a slow pace, the men did not try to stop you.

“A little help here?”

She quickly ushered you and Yelena inside, her mind racing with questions.

“What happened?” Karen asked, struggling to keep her voice steady. “We have to get her to a hospital.”

“N-No hospitals,” you said weakly, as Yelena gently placed you on Karen’s couch

“Are you going to tell me what happened, Y/N?” Karen inquired once again.

“She saved your boyfriend’s life,” Yelena dropped the words venomously. Even if she didn’t know Karen, she couldn't help but be disgusted by her. It was your friendship with the journalist that made you jump between her boyfriend and that fucking knife. So yes, she blamed her for the whole situation you were in. 

“What? Someone tried to kill Frank?” 

So much information for Karen to comprehend all at once, and then more knocks were pounded on the door. 

“Karen, open the door!” That was Frank’s distinct voice.

“Do not open it,” Yelena snarled.

Karen turned to face you, then to the door that Frank was hammering on. She didn’t know what to do.

“Karen, open the goddamn door!”

She sighed. She didn’t have a choice; if she didn’t open the door she knew her boyfriend would break it down. 

“Are you okay?” It was the first thing he asked when Karen opened the door to welcome him into her apartment. He grabbed her face and looked at her concerned. After the incident he just experienced in the street, he thought if someone had gone after him, they might have also gone after his girlfriend. And he couldn’t let her get hurt. Not because of him. 

Then he realized there was something wrong. He withdrew his sight from his girl, and it fell on you, and on Yelena who was attempting to keep you awake. Then your gaze is drawn to your boyfriend, who is standing on the threshold. And you could tell by the look on his face that he had connected the dots. And you knew there was no going back from this point forward.

“It was you,” he said, his voice was calm but you knew him well enough to know there was anger behind those words.

“What the hell, Y/N?” Frank shouted at you, “You could have gotten yourself killed.”

“I still can.”

“You ain’t dying,” Yelena retorted.

“And who exactly are you?” 

Yelena disregarded Frank's question and turned to Karen, “I need towels, alcohol, and a needle and thread.”

Karen nodded firmly and exited the living room.

“Are you going to pull that thing out?” Your boyfriend inquired, and while he was angry, he also sounded concerned. That offered you some optimism; maybe if you made it out alive, you still had a chance to work things out with him.

“You prefer me to leave it inside?” 

“You’re going to bleed out!” Billy cried out, raking his fingers through his disheveled. hair.

Karen returned with the items and placed them next to Yelena. “Are you alright?” She knew it was a stupid question to ask, but her brain wasn't functioning properly at the moment.

“Sure,” you said faintly, waving your hand, “I’ve had it worse.”

“No, you have not.”

You disregarded Yelena's rebuke, “Pull it out.”

“This is insane!”

Yelena turned to your boyfriend, “You have any other idea, pretty boy? ‘Cause we can’t go to the hospital.”

Billy looked at your friend, then at you. You wanted to tell him so many things, but mostly you wanted to apologize. You wanted to apologize to him for keeping this portion of your life hidden from him. Because you knew how important honesty was to Billy, and you have completely broken his trust in you. He sighed and knelt alongside you on the couch, holding your hand.

“It’s going to hurt,” he warned you.

“I can take it.” 

Billy was taken aback by how confident you sounded. Yelena grasped the dagger’s handle and for a few seconds that’s all she did, then she met your gaze. Silently telling her to go for it. And the last thing you remember is feeling an excruciating pain before passing out.

[vegaseatsass]

Rewatched My Stand-In eps 2 and 3 tonight, and I'm definitely newly fascinated with Ming POV/Ming's internal concept of what was happening between him and Joe that entire time. I forgot just how much we got of Ming's home life and family in episode 2, and my brain is abuzz trying to connect all the dots. His relationship with May is so interesting. She clocks that he and Joe are together on Christmas, and is immediately careful to conceal it not just from their parents but from Tong. May and Ming have this "us against the world" vibe where they protect and cover for each other, going back to May giving herself pneumonia saving Ming from drowning. I absolutely believe there's more going on in their family than mom pressuring Ming to marry women any time he goes home - I actually suspect things about his family are being obscured for future painful reveals - but May is a safe space for him. Until Tong is added into the picture, and Ming has to flee the country for four years to get away from his big feelings. It's just kind of bonkers to me that he had this intense, safe and presumably very grounding relationship with his sister, but made his obsession with a random movie star the centerpiece of his world instead. Why did he imprint on Tong? Is it really just Joe's sexy back muscles that drew him in? Did he think if he could land a famous movie star his parents would accept him being with a man? Was it subconscious self-sabotage of his only safe relationship lol? I genuinely have no idea!! What I am stuck on though is when he told May he was working through something, and would tell her when he was ready, but he promised he'd get through it. On rewatch, it seems very obvious that what he's talking about is the torch he's carrying for Tong, so to me that's a reveal that he's deliberately trying to move on with Joe - not using him as a sex doll replacement, but throwing himself into something real. (What's messy obviously is that Ming started this for the proxyfucking, but I think overhearing Joe confess his love for Ming to Sol is when Ming started making a determined effort to choose Joe.) There's also his reaction to Joe's Christmas gift where the watch becomes a metaphor for Joe himself (vs. Tong): Ming doesn't need the "top" one, why can't he want the "normal" one?

The first time I was watching this, I assumed that Ming just has no internal awareness of how important Joe is to him, he just feels pure need and acts very very normal when his emotional support stand-in is ripped away. I assumed Ming believes he's in love with Tong and thinks he's just passing some time with Joe. It doesn't help that every time Joe presses him on anything emotional Ming shuts him down or outright negs him lolllll

But like for example, in the scene where they're shopping together and Joe gets excited about the couple mugs, first Ming snaps "What makes you think we're a couple?", then he tries to mitigate his slip by playing it off: "after living with me, you'll realize you don't want me as a boyfriend." His kneejerk impulse to shut Joe down and say cruel things is imo a defense mechanism, a really maladaptive one that helps convince Joe later on that there was never any love there, but I'm starting to think it's triggered in response to actually wanting the intimacy and primacy that Joe is pushing for, and being terrified of that.

It would make so much sense for somebody who is terrified of needing anybody else, of being vulnerable or feeling anything real, to decide they're in love with a complete asshole movie star who uses their family for money and them personally for favors, and shape their life around that. Especially now that I understand how young Ming was when he first fixated on Tong (17ish??), I just feel like that entire imprinting is your classic teenager-who-is-not-ready-to-be-in-a-real-relationship parasocial spiral. I used to do it with male celebrities too!!! (I am a lesbian. lmfaooo)

It's interesting because while there's something conceptually romantic about the back Ming first got obsessed with being Joe's all along, it ultimately doesn't really matter to me WHO the onscreen person that he fixated upon was. What matters is how ill-equipped Ming has proven to handle real feelings for a real person in front of him, and the journey he has from here to learn how to human. I can't wait. P.S. Other thing I forgot happened in episode 2: - Ming made drunk!Joe sleep on the floor of Joe's own home - BEFORE Ming moved in or had any claim to the space - AFTER Ming told Sol he would take "really really good care of Joe" as a way of trying to claim Joe in front of the competition His journey to human is going to be a loooooooooooooooooong one, methinks... 😈

[powluna]

Hello, I absolutely adore the clothing you make for children, infants, toddlers, they are so cute!

However, I am aware of the fact that you do post your CC on Curseforge in addition to your own website and Patreon and given that the company that owns Curseforge, is them is an Israeli company that did a crowdfunding campaign for the IDF which supports the ongoing genocide against Palestinians, I want to ask if you could remove your downloads from Curseforge entirely. I hope this doesn't come off as demanding or aggressive in any way, but by divesting from Curseforge, we also divest from Israel's economy completely and perhaps it seems small in comparison, but it would be a small way to show support for Palestine. Thank you for listening, and again, I hope I don't come off as impolite in any way.

Hello to anon and everyone who might have been waiting for a response from me. I want to thank you for treating me with respect and that I have not (yet) received any threatening messages or similar. It is very difficult for me to write the following message in my native language, let alone post a translated version of it. Everything I write here comes from the heart and merely describes my personal situation.

First of all, I want to express that I, personally, and my internet persona "PowLuna" in no way stand for oppression, violence, exclusion, or worse. The situation has certainly not passed me by—quite the opposite. The discourse on the topic has caused me to engage deeply with the subject, keep myself regularly updated, and talk a lot about it in my personal environment, educating others. Due to experiences I had as a teenager, I no longer express my opinions regarding a lot of topics on the internet. However, I must do so now because it is very important to me and it currently affects my daily life significantly in terms of depression and existential fears.

I want to express my sorrow for all the suffering that people in Gaza and all Palastinians endure daily. The things one encounters on the internet are cruel and heartbreaking, and denying that something terrible is happening there is wrong. I feel the same about all atrocities happening anywhere in the world, whether far away or in my neighborhood. I hope every day for peace throughout the world. A utopian wish, I know.

Now to what might be controversial: I will not participate in the boycott against CurseForge. At least not as far as requested. I no longer actively promote the links for it; that was a kind of compromise I could make. You can judge me for this or not. But let me first describe my situation. I believe that pressuring individual small creators is not the right way in this situation, as you can never guess who is behind the internet personas and what stories they carry with them.

I come from a family that has always lived in poverty. After finishing school and completing an apprenticeship, I thought about studying so that I could do more with my potential. I moved away for my studies and had to stand completely on my own feet. I had saved a little money. For the rest of the support and because a part-time job would have hindered my ability to perform well, I applied for financial aid from the state. This is possible here in Germany. I can keep half of the money, and the other half I have to pay back after my studies. All well and good. While studying, I found a great interest in creating custom content and sharing it with others. I taught myself more and more skills and gradually shared them with others because I really enjoy to help people.

In 2022, I decided to make money with what I do. So, I had to register a business. That's mandatory here. I started with Patreon, where I gathered some subscribers who believed in my potential from the start, for which I am very grateful. I always appeal to the good in people, worked "hard," uploaded more and more stuff to convince people, and get more voluntary subscribers. This didn’t work out as expected. So, I switched to an early access model, which actually brought more subscribers, but I wasn't really happy with it, so I moved away from it a few months later. I lost more and more subs over time, while still giving the same effort as before.

Shortly after, I was invited to the CurseForge project, to which I confidently agreed because I already knew CurseForge and saw a lot of potential for the Sims area. I also find the platform really good and many changes I wished for were implemented. And yes, CurseForge has given me a steady income since then, sometimes more, sometimes less, but still far from what I made with voluntary subscribers on Patreon. I felt really proud because I suddenly earned good money with something I am passionate about. And I did it all by myself!

But this income brought new obligations: I have to pay taxes. Additionally, I no longer receive financial support from the state and won't be able to get it again.

The whole discourse has shown me that self-employment always carries a risk when you rely on a platform, so I switched back to the Patreon early access model for more security. However, I still can't live off that alone. Therefore, I continue to host my creations on CurseForge. Considering their statement from a few months ago and because I believe in the good in people, I don't see a problem with it. Of course, the economic aspect plays a role, but I am also not "clean" when I pay my taxes here in Germany, which are then used for the same purpose.

To demand that I delete all my stuff means taking away my livelihood and existence. I don't think that's fair. And yes, I know this is privileged, and my fears are not comparable to the fears of people in Gaza. Never.

All this does not mean that I am indifferent. As I said, I talk to other people about the topic, I inform myself, and as soon as I am able and have saved some money, I want to support the children in the region with donations. This has always been my approach to conflicts and crises around the world.

It is important to keep talking about the topic so that hopefully, one day, it will reach the people who can put an end to the horror.

Thank you for reading. If anything is unclear, please feel free to ask.

PowLuna

[gojoidyll]

Infinity

Yandere ! Gojo Satoru x Female ! Reader

Part 6 | what doesn't belong to him

Warnings | light smut, masturbation, dirty thoughts, gojo being a pervert, gojo being possessive, sukuna being sassy, etc.

Notes | this fic will be using she/her pronouns for y/n. Also this is a reincarnation fic, so Gojo's name will not be "Satoru" in this part. And please let me know if you want to be in a taglist for this series !! ^-^

Summary | And I'd choose you; in a hundred lifetimes, in a hundred worlds, in any version of reality, I'd find you and I'd choose you.

Infinity Masterlist

GOJO SEIJI remembered his first life and how y/n was a maid during that time as well.

But this time, things were different. She was under his care instead of her parents. And he was sure to take good care of her.

Four years later as they were both twenty years old, and he kept her very close.

In their first year together, y/n was quite the jittery mess. She apologized for everything. Flinched from his touch. It took a long while to convince her that he would never hurt her.

In the second year of her being his maid, he found that she smiled more. And didn't flinch as often as she used to.

Then, when they were both nineteen years old, she finally gained enough courage to speak first and to engage in conversation. Oh how his heart soared when she started talking before him, asking questions, and talking about her day and what not.

Now, as they were twenty, it was safe to say that their relationship evolved.

With his hand wrapped around his pulsing cock, he let his head fall back into his plush pillows. His eyes screwed shut as he whimpered and moaned. His hand stroking his length, hard and fast as he imagined it be y/n's smaller hands. How he could just imagine her dainty hands trying to wrap around his length as her doe eyes would look up at him. Her lips gently kissing his pink tip.

"Y/n..."

His hips rutted into his hand. His breath becoming ragged as his free hand gripped the sheets beneath him.

"A- ah, fuck!"

His thoughts ran rampant as he imagined different scenarios with y/n beneath him, bent in different positions as he would thrust his heavy cock into her tight cunt.

In the many lives he lived, it was safe to say this was the first life he actually had such dirty thoughts of his true love. I mean, in all of his other lives, he never really had the chance too.

But maybe now..?

He moaned loudly, lewdly even when he came into his hand. His cum painting his fingers and palm. His breath heaving as he laid limp in his head.

He couldn't wait to marry her and take her properly. Maybe set up nice honeymoon, and a romantic setting too.

Smiling to himself, he got up to wash himself while also wondering where his dear little maid was at the moment.

Ah wait, I believe today is her day off. So she might be in town.

He grinned to himself.

Maybe I should go look for her and surprise her!

Chuckling to himself, he readied his own bath and thought of something to wear. He knew where she lived before coming to the estate and is well aware how both her parents are still alive and well and living in a more poverty stricken part of the city. Though, he also knows that her parents are foing quite well now, but only because y/n gives them all the money she earns while working as his maid.

Ahh, she's so nice and kind. I'll do anything to protect that innocence of hers.

Gojo hummed to himself as he walked the dirt path. Many onlookers and commoners not daring to cross his path as he walked.

Then, he saw it, her home.

I wonder how she'll react when she sees me.

Grinning, he cane upon her parents' door. Hand raising as he knocked softly.

"Coming!"

The muffled voice of her mother sounded behind the door, and soon enough, it opened for him. The soft gaze of her mother landing on him and soon her eyes widened in recognition.

"L- lord Gojo! I- I was not aware you were coming today! Did- did y/n have work today?"

Gojo shook his head, "no, no. She is off today, but I felt the need to come see her."

Her mother visibly relaxed and her smile returned, "I see, would you like to come in?"

"That would be wonderful, miss l/n."

Y/n's mother stepped to the side and ushered him in, "ah, before I forget, we .. we actually have another guest today. A childhood friend of hers."

Gojo laughed, "don't worry, thats not a problem."

Her mother nodded and went to the living room, Gojo following behind.

"Mom, who was that at the door-? Master?!"

She was quick to stand and bow and Gojo waved a dismissive hand, "at ease, y/n, I'm just here for a surprise visit is all."

Gojo's six eyes landed on the man who was standing next her. Now, who the hell is that?

Her father, who just came into the room, smiled at Gojo, "its a pleasure to have you here today. And if you're wondering, this is Ryomen Sukuna, y/n's childhood friend."

Gojo hummed to himself as he smiled at the other man. A wave of anger and possessiveness washing over him.

Sukuna merely smiled, mocking and cruel, "ah, so you're y/n's master huh? Thought you were taller."

"Sukuna," y/n hit his shoulder as she hissed at him lowly. Sukuna merely chuckling before wrapping an arm around her waist.

"Whatever, its good to meet you, I guess."

"Same here," Gojo muttered, his eyes turning to the arm around her waist, "if I may ask, you two seem a bit closer than just childhood friends."

Y/n was quick to blush and look away as Sukuna's grin widened, "yeah, about that, I actually came here today to ask for her hand in marriage. I'm sure you clan supremacists know what marriage is, right? I'm sure your own marriage will be arranged soon."

"Sukuna," y/n whined, "stop being mean to master. You know I work for him."

Sukuna shrugged, "when we're married you won't have to work ever again, so it doesn't really matter what I say to him now."

Gojo couldn't believe what was happening right now.

He couldn't believe some nobody was getting in his and y/n's way of finding true happiness.

I'll kill him.

Infinity taglist | @whore-for-hawks @esthelily @huicitawrites @flaming-vulpix @zeniiis @rin1802 @mrowwww

[twstwinnie]

Oh gosh I just stumbled on your writings your writing is so nice!, and I loved in a relationship with jamil and floyd they were so good 😭,im sorry if your getting a buncha these now may I request in a relationship with azul if thats ok?

✎ With You ~ Azul Ashengrotto

summary: the highly requested in a relationship with Azul! usual three categories! crushing, confession, and dating!

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, gn! reader

a/n: I adore azul— this just took me forever bc of writer’s block! but!! here he is! i’ll probably spin a wheel for who I do next, but if you’re curious, the current requested are: jack, epel, sebek, kalim, riddle, jade, and vil! so if you were looking out for them, they’re coming soon! also, i‘ve been considering making a tag list, so yeah! anyway, enjoy azul!! — winnie <3

✎ starry - eyed !

» Azul is the type to vehemently deny any feelings he may have towards you. When you first met, he assumed that his interest in you was nothing more than seeing you as a potential business prospect. He kept a close eye on you, but as time went on, his excuses became feeble in the face of what he felt.

» He’d keep insisting that your meetups are “business research,” even going as far as taking notes after every meeting in hopes to convince himself that that’s all it was. However, as time goes on, he finds that he doesn’t even think about finances or his business when he’s with you. He becomes entirely invested in conversations with you and the happenings of your life.

» Upon realizing that he isn’t doing the “research” he foolishly told himself he was doing, his avoidant tactics only increase in strength. He didn’t like you— he couldn’t.

» He wants to convince himself that it’s bad business to get emotionally involved— that there’s no room for romance in his world, but deep down, he knows it’s all an excuse. Truth be told, Azul is terrified at the prospect of liking you.

» With his history of bullying, Azul doesn’t have much of a positive self-image. The people close to him know that his confidence is fragile, and the bravado he hides behind is built on a foundation of power. However, when it comes to the romance world, Azul is playing on an even field with everyone else that may like you.

» In such a world, Azul fears that he has nothing to offer you.

» You’re kind and generous in a way no one else is. Azul’s underhanded tactics aren’t a suitable offering for you. And if power and money doesn’t appeal to you— what then? What can Azul possibly offer to you? What did he have that made him the most suitable option out of the countless people vying for your hand?

» Nothing. That’s what. That’s why Azul cannot like you. Because if he did, it’d be futile.

» There is no contract. He’d be giving his whole heart to you with no guarantee that you’d give anything in return. He’d leave himself vulnerable to being positively crushed by rejection. He could handle losing in business— such losses came with the field, but in love? Tell him— what proven strategies can be put in place to prevent pain or heartbreak? What insurance is there when your heart is tattered with the pain of rejection?

» There is none, and Azul knows this for certain. However, as time goes on, he finds himself unable to deny his feelings any longer as he spends more time with you.

» You happily listen to his business ramblings, propose event ideas for the Lounge, and you’ve even mastered the art of reigning in the Leech Twins. You fit in so perfectly into his life, but that only terrifies him more. He finds himself scared of losing you, but unable to commit himself to the idea of being infatuated by you.

» In response to this standstill, he draws away from you. This way, he becomes used to your absence instead of your presence. Then, should you learn of his feelings, the rejection won’t feel as harsh.

» What he doesn’t anticipate, however, is that you take notice. You recognize this behavior almost immediately. Not only that, you call him out on it.

» “Azul, why are you avoiding me?” you ask as you walk into the VIP room. Azul pauses, surprised at your sudden presence.

» “I— well… What gave you such an idea?” he questions, attempting to play oblivious. You roll your eyes.

» “Ashengrotto. I know you better than most. I can see through that farce of yours. I’m not mad or anything, I’m just worried,” you say as you sit in front of him. “Is it the lounge? Studying? Do you need my help with something?”

» The gentleness in your tone warms his heart. His face flushes red involuntarily. “What would you want in return?” he questions. You laugh.

» “This again? Nothing, Azul. I just want to help you because I like seeing you happy. So? Did something happen?” you ask, tilting your head curiously. Azul looks away, biting back a fond smile.

» He supposes that, if you’re offering, he might as well get clarification on his situation. Of course, he does so without telling you it’s about you.

» After he explains everything, you hum a bit.

» “Well, why are you so hung up on what you bring to the table?” you inquire. Azul halts.

» “Pardon?” Azul tilts his head.

» “Well, what I mean is that a relationship isn’t transactional, y’know? It’s not about if you can bring ‘power’ or ‘money’ to a relationship. In fact, I’d say that that’s useless,” you insist. Azul hums.

» “Then, what do you suppose is the most important quality?” he asks.

» You smile softly. “Aside from being a decent person? Whether or not the person you like likes you back. I know you don’t like things being out of your control, but that’s the truth. I mean— you like this person because you simply enjoy their company, right? Not because they bring anything to you,” you explain. Azul nods.

» “That… is correct,” he mumbles.

» “Exactly. So, who’s to say it’s any different for them? If they like your company, that’s more than enough. They won’t need power, fame, money, or any of that. In a relationship, you and your effort are enough, Azul.”

» Azul’s eyes go wide as you explain that to him. While yes, it’s a simple concept, it’s something an over thinker like him easily forgets. He can’t help but smile softly and thank you for your advice.

» It’s then and there that he decides he must confess to you. Not only did he already like you, but the way you approached his problem with a level head and a kind demeanor only solidified to him that you completed him. When he approached a situation with logic, you reminded him that sometimes, it was better to be emotional. And when he got too emotional, you grounded him with logic. Above all else, though, you support him through so much.

» And Azul is nothing if not competitive. He refused to lose to someone else. He had to show initiative and confess to you first. If he does, you’d know how serious he is about you.

» With that, he quickly starts drafting up a few ideas.

✎ say the words !

» In the journey to come up with the perfect confession to win your affections, Azul faces many obstacles. The biggest one being his competition.

» Azul tasked Jade and Floyd to keep tabs on people who also sought your companionship. This resulted in the knowledge that, apparently, you were getting confessed to on a near weekly basis. Jade mentioned a few names, but they were all faceless students that he didn’t quite remember.

» While Floyd, with a strangely giddy expression, would always report that you rejected the potential suitor, Azul still became nervous. Would the next confession be a rejection, or would you accept? How would his confession stand out amid so many others? Were you even interested in romance, or did you already have someone else in mind?

» Eventually, Azul decides that collaboration is the best way to go about it. Attempting to find an idea himself is like talking into an echo chamber— it results in no progress. Initially, he turns to the twins for assistance, but they both give him eerie smiles. Instead of helping, they insist that it’s “fun to watch him figure things out,” thus denying any assistance.

» Azul knows he won’t be able to convince them otherwise, so he seeks help elsewhere. He considers a few options: Jamil, Riddle, and Ruggie, but ultimately decides that those are people he’d rather not be open and vulnerable with. Eventually, he settles on discussing the matter with Idia during their club hours. While he was certain the other lacked romantic knowledge, he at least knew that he’d receive brutal honesty in regards to the situation.

» “Idia. I have an inquiry regarding a personal matter,” Azul starts. Idia narrows his eyes at him.

» “Uh… I have no interest in your shady dealings,” he mumbles. Azul huffs.

» “It has nothing to do with my perfectly sound business practices!” Azul shakes his head. “Actually, it has to do with romance.”

» “Huh?! Romance?! Whaaat… so even a shady antagonist can have a heart,” Idia mumbles before continuing. “Uhhh my knowledge doesn’t extend beyond video games. Why bother asking me?”

» “Because I know you’ll be impartial. Anyway, I have a… friend that I’m rather fond of,” Azul starts, but Idia quickly cuts him off.

» “Not to ruin your moment, but I know who you’re talking about. You’ve got low-tier stealth stats. It’s obvious you like them,” Idia mentions with a sigh. “I mean, they’re oblivious to it, but still. I’m guessing you want some s-rank confession to woo them?”

» Azul pauses, shutting his mouth and huffing. “Yes, I want to… ‘woo’ them. I have no idea how, though. I’ve drafted countless ideas, but all of them seem plain. During lunch hardly seems romantic, and the beach seems cliche. I’m at a loss,” Azul admits. Idia stares at him for a few moments.

» “Please tell me this is some weird joke. Are you being real right now?” Idia deadpans.

» “What? I’m hardly joking! I’m truly at a loss. Why else would I request assistance?” Azul mutters. Idia groans.

» “This is like grinding hours for a total OP secret weapon, then not even using it in the final battle,” Idia mumbles. “You have your glitzy lounge, right? Close it for a day and confess there. Seriously, I’m a newbie in romance and I could even think of that.”

» Azul goes silent as he thinks about it. He’d always viewed the Monstro Lounge as nothing more than a business prospect. Though, the atmosphere was certainly ideal. He made sure of it himself. You did quite enjoy studying there, too.

» Azul let out a long sigh. It was so obvious that he almost wanted to slap himself for not seeing it sooner.

» “That is a great idea, Idia. Thank you. I’ll close it down early Friday night, then. Now, if you’ll excuse me. I have many preparations to make. And a lifetime of embarrassment to work through for not realizing such a simple solution,” Azul insists, quickly leaving the club room.

» With that, his plan is in motion. Jade and Floyd, while not willing to help him previously, are now willing to help put his plan into motion. They ensure that the Lounge is fully closed that night and pass on the invitation to you. Floyd cooks a specialized menu Azul put together, and Jade helps decorate for the occasion.

» After everything is ready, Azul awaits your arrival nervously. Floyd and Jade keep him company, though mostly tease him for being so clearly anxious.

» “Azul. At this rate, I’m afraid you’ll break the seat with how tightly you’re gripping it,” Jade mentions. Azul straightens, pulling his hands away from the chair he’d been leaning on.

» “Eh? To be fair his nervousness could be faaaaar worse. Imagine if we told him what we saw earlier~” Floyd teases. Azul tenses.

» “Oya, Floyd. We said we wouldn’t mention that to him. Now look at him. He’s even more fearful than before.” Jade smiles simply. Floyd laughs a bit.

» “Ah, well. Too late~ You know, they got confessed to earlier. It was another random bottom feeder, but~ figured it’d be better that you knew,” Floyd sings, smirking. Jade chuckles.

» “It shouldn’t be an issue. I’m certain,” Jade says. Before Azul can pry for details, footsteps echo through the lounge. “Oh? Seems our guest of honor is here. Good luck, Azul.”

» With that, Jade leaves, Floyd following him out. Azul lets out a shaky sigh and turns to face you, putting on his usual expression as you walk over, eyes wide as you take in the decor. Dainty lights were strung overhead and gentle flowers decorated the tables.

» “Wow, this is pretty. I knew you were closing early today, but I had no idea it was for this. What’s the occasion?” you ask with a bright grin. Azul smiles, pulling out your chair for you.

» “There’s no occasion. It’s simply a gift to you,” Azul states, seating himself after you. You give him a teasing smirk.

» “What’s this? Azul Ashengrotto giving me a gift with no strings attached? Color me surprised~” you hum. Azul blushes and rolls his eyes playfully.

» “You're speaking as if this is a one-time occasion. I’ve gifted you plenty in the past, you know. Or have you forgotten my generosity already?” Azul asks, faking a pout. You laugh gently.

» “Of course I haven’t forgotten. I could never forget the generosity and kindness that rivals that of the Sea Witch. I dunno… I guess it almost makes me feel special!” you mention. Azul pauses for a moment before looking at you.

» “It’s because you are special,” he blurts out suddenly. Your eyes widen and you go speechless. For a moment, the silence weighs heavy between you both before he clears his throat.

» “Forgive me… I know you’ve already leant your ear to another for a confession today, but could you listen to one more?” Azul asks softly, vulnerability lacing his tone. You wordlessly nod, keeping your eyes on him. Azul shifts a bit under your gaze but persists.

» “I’ve felt this strong affinity for you for quite some time now. At first, I thought it was just a mutually beneficial friendship, but then… I realized it was more than that. I tried to distance myself out of fear, but you managed to stop me before I could get far. You’ve always been good at recognizing when something’s troubling me.” Azul gives you a fond smile before continuing.

» “You reminded me that relationships don’t need to be transactional. That I’m enough. I greatly enjoy your company. I know you don’t want my money or my power, but it feels wrong to confess empty-handed. So, instead, in this verbal contract, I’d like to offer you two things.

» “First, a promise. I promise to do all in my power to make you happy, and to be a suitable partner. But more importantly, I’d like to offer you my heart. I cherish you more than any other. All I ask for in return… is an answer. Will you accept my confession, and the terms of my verbal contract?” Azul looks at you with bated breath. The air is tense and you don’t say a word, but soon, a few tears slip down your cheeks. Azul’s eyes widen and he rushes to your side.

» Before he can inquire about your well-being, you wrap your arms tightly around him, nuzzling your face in his neck.

» “Do you have any idea how long I’ve been waiting for that? Great Seven, I’ve rejected so many people just hoping that you might eventually say something. Yes. Of course I’ll accept. I’d love to be with you, Azul,” you express happily. Azul lets out a relieved sigh, embracing you and reveling in the feeling.

» “I’m sorry to have kept you waiting. You have my sincerest apologies,” Azul mumbles. You shake your head, pulling back to smile at him.

» “You’ll always be worth the wait, Azul.”

✎ at last , with you !

» Unsurprisingly, given that they were eavesdropping the entire time, the Leech twins are the first to learn about you and Azul’s relationship. Now that you two are together, they reveal that they’ve known the feeling was mutual the entire time.

» Azul gapes at them, angrily asking why they hadn’t said anything sooner. Naturally, they respond that it’s far more interesting to let these things play out without interference. As irritated as he is at the notion, Azul feels grateful. He feels much more sound in his decision since he had time to truly think it over.

» However, that brings up more curious questions to him. How long have you liked him? Who else knew of your feelings? Was he the only one kept in the dark?

» With a laugh, you express that you’ve liked him for quite some time now. This shocks Azul beyond words, but it also makes him feel elated and secure in his relationship with you. He can’t help but feel just a tad cocky. All of these people were confessing to you, yet you still chose him? It’s quite the phenomenon!

» Of course, as usual, you insist that he’s the phenomenal one. You waited for him because you loved him, and that’s a fact he should never doubt. Azul knows it’ll be a struggle to get past his insecurities fully, but when he’s with you, it feels like that goal is far more manageable.

» As your relationship develops, you two eventually find a nice balance. Azul is still running a business in tandem with his studies, so he gets incredibly busy, but you have your own obligations, too. You’d think that you’d have no time to spend together, but Azul goes out of his way to make time for you.

» Whether you’re silently reading in his office while he works, or he’s going over paperwork in your room while you’re studying, you two always find ways to spend time together. Even if it’s just being together in silence while you’re both working, Azul feels at home. Being in your presence is enough to soothe him.

» However, every so often, your schedules align and you’re able to go on a proper date together. Azul plans these as far in advance as he possibly can. The moment he notices that your free time lines up, he’s planning a proper date with you.

» Azul is (secretly) a hopeless romantic, so he adores having romantic dates with you. When caught up in a cold world filled with emotionless business decisions, it feels nice for him to be able to step away into the warmth of your company. So, his dates reflect that accordingly. Whether it be a private dinner or a stroll beneath the stars, he makes sure every date is one to remember.

» You allow Azul to be himself when he’s with you. He isn’t trying to run a business, make deals, or keep his grades up. There is no facade for him to upkeep when with you. He’s the same, sensitive octomer that he's always been ever since he was young.

» At first, Azul is still weary of being vulnerable around you. After all, you’re his beloved partner! He can’t stand to show a shameless side of himself to you. He wants you to think highly of him. He wants to show you his best. He can’t imagine what you might think of him if he were to show you that younger, weaker side of himself, let alone his merform!

» This all changes after his overblot, though. You easily notice the build-up of stress and the increase in contracts, given that you’re always by Azul’s side. In the beginning, you turn a blind eye to it all, but once your friends get involved, it’s hard for you to play clueless much longer.

» You assist in the plan to take him down, fully expecting Azul to hate you for it. Azul expects much of the same. He took things too far, and he hurt you. When you tried to get him to stop on your own, he didn’t listen. Instead, he pushed himself beyond what he was capable of and showcased the ugliest parts of himself to you.

» When he wakes up, you expect him to be angry. Instead, you’re met with a look of sorrowful shame. Azul can’t meet your gaze, face flushed red and eyes glossy with tears.

» “I-I’m sorry… I’ve shown you something so unsightly and I nearly hurt you,” he mumbles. He mentally braces himself for the breakup— for you to turn away and leave him behind. The worst part about it? He’s powerless to stop you. He’s lost all of his contracts, but he doesn’t care about that anymore if it means losing you, too.

» However, he’s surprised to find that you don’t leave. You let out a relieved sigh, smiling at him warmly.

» “Azul. I’m hurt that you went that far, but I’m more hurt that you didn’t tell me you were struggling so much. I love you. All parts of you. You didn’t show me anything strange. In fact, I’m glad I saw everything,” you explain gently, leaning your head against his.

» Azul regards you with a fragile expression, eyes wide. “You… aren’t leaving? Why? Why stay?” Azul questions. You hum gently, running your fingers through his hair.

» “Because one mistake doesn’t define who you are as a person. You’re still my Azul, even with your past, present, and future mistakes. I love you as is, good and bad. I’m just glad you’re okay,” you mumble. Finally, in such an intimate moment, Azul fully lets his guard down and allows tears to slip.

» “I thought I lost you, too. I don’t care for those petty contracts if it means you’ll no longer love me,” Azul’s voice cracks as he speaks. You gently wipe his tears away, smiling as you pepper his face with gentle kisses.

» “You could never lose me, Azul. My heart is yours. Nothing will change that. Now, come on. You still need to heal, so rest. I’ll be here when you awaken again.”

» Throughout his recovery, you remain dutifully by Azul’s side. He feels incredibly grateful to you for it. You saw the things he tried so hard to erase and accepted him in his entirety. His true form, his pain, his past— none of it phased you. If anything, it gave you a better understanding of him.

» Azul gradually returns to his usual, slightly arrogant self, but you can see the change clear as day. He still uses his usual dealings and business practices, but he no longer uses it as a means of coping with his perceived weakness. Instead, when he does feel that lingering doubt, he turns to you for support.

» And when he’s resting in your arms after a hard day of managing the lounge, he knows that he has no need to hoard power for the sake of protecting himself.

» After all, his heart is in the most capable hands possible.

» He’s yours. And that’s all he’ll ever need.

— fin.

[paintingwhiteceilings]

My request is completely self-indulgent but if you want to can you write for seventeen reaction to their S/O preferably she/her pronounce but u can change it you want having a twin brother?? Also I apologize if by any chance you see this request repeated multiple times in your inbox it’s just my internet connection being slow and weak asf 👎🏽

❃Seventeen and their S/O’s siblings❃

Ahhh so sorry this took as long as it did! I had a crazy few weeks and somehow my asks ended up under a pile of notifications. I mayyy have changed the ask to a general sibling prompt. I don't really know any twins so I don't think I could successfully write that kind of sibling dynamic repeatedly and get away with it. Instead, I included a variety of different sibling dynamics (with a couple of twin brothers); I hope you don't mind!

Scoups/Seungcheol:

❀ When you finally decided to introduce Coups to your older siblings, you hadn’t really been worried about whether they would like him or not. After all, he is very responsible and mature, being in charge of his twelve younger members; it wouldn’t be too difficult for your older siblings to trust him with their youngest.

❀ What you hadn’t been expecting, however, is for them to love him and treat him as if he was their own younger brother. Being the youngest in his own family and, let’s be fair, a pouty, whiny baby in Seventeen, he easily fell into the role of the youngest once he shook off his initial shyness and your siblings ate it up.

❀ Even worse, where you often struggle to get your siblings to do anything for you, all Coups has to do is pout or act cute, and they will sacrifice the world for him. They will even offer to pay for his meals and take him out to fun family activities regardless of whether you are able to make it. You’re half convinced Coups has become the favourite because he has no problem with spending an insane amount of money on your family, and he refuses to let them pay for anything.

❀ Yeah, needless to say, you’re feeling a bit salty about the whole situation. That was until Coups took you to meet his family, and you immediately became their favourite adopted child; it felt like the universe had righted itself once more.

Jeonghan:

❀ You regret introducing Jeonghan to your twin brother; for the past few hours, during your mandatory weekly family game night, he has been whispering in your ear that you should tap into your twin bond so that you can predict your brother's strategy. Jeonghan is absolutely adamant you two have a telepathic bond; he won't listen to you repeatedly telling him that you can't read your brother's mind just because you are twins.

❀ He will definitely try to figure out how to use the twin exploit to his advantage. Jeonghan will find a way to use this newly discovered information for chaos, either to prank someone else or to get his hands on new teasing material from the person closest to you.

❀ He will absolutely try to convince his members that he just happened to stumble on your male doppelgänger if you look anything alike, exclaiming in wonder that you two have even been born on the same day. Truly, what a coincidence.

❀ Overall, he would become such good friends with your twin brother; Jeonghan has such a charming and calming personality that it is difficult not to get along with him. Jeonghan also strikes me as the type of person who would put a lot of effort into getting along with their significant other's family, spending time with them whenever he can in order to maintain a good bond. 

Joshua:

❀ Joshua is the prime example of the naive only child unprepared for the stuff that siblings put each other through. Sure, Joshua technically got saddled up with twelve brothers after joining Seventeen. However, he didn’t have to deal with siblings and their shenanigans for most of his childhood, leaving the concept of fighting over the last piece of cake, not because you want it yourself but because you don't want your sibling to have it, a bit foreign to him.

❀ He is trying so hard to maintain the peace when you and your younger sister get into another heated argument when you discover she has borrowed a piece of clothing of yours without asking. Your parents love him, as when he is around, they can finally take a break and let him defuse the situation.

❀ Your little sister adores him, too; Joshua has a lot of arts and crafts days with her, where he teaches her how to make bracelets and knit scarves. They even made you a bracelet together; it almost made you forget about her remarks on how Joshua is her favourite older sibling.

❀ At this point, your little sister listens more to Joshua than you. Whenever you want her to do something, and she isn't listening to you, you have now resorted to simply calling him. For some reason, his asking her in a sweet voice to let you use the bathroom seems to work without fail.

Jun:

❀ It doesn't really matter whether you have older or younger siblings; Jun is THE person to bring home. On the one hand, when it comes to younger siblings, he is their favourite playmate and the person they turn to for advice. When it comes to older siblings, on the other hand, he will be cherished and loved as if he were their youngest brother.

❀ He truly shines when it comes to younger siblings, though. Jun is shameless when he plays with your younger siblings; he will crawl over the floor as if he is a snake or meow like a cat for hours on end. His acting skills are definitely paying off, and he will fully commit to whatever role your younger siblings need him to play. In all honesty, he enjoys playing with your siblings as much as they do; he is such a kid at heart.

❀ Jun is also THE person for advice. He never judges them and he is always willing to hear them out about whatever is troubling them. It doesn't leave the room either. He will never share whatever they confided in him with you unless they specifically have told him it is okay to do so.

❀ Honestly, your siblings will be threatening you to not break his heart or break up with him. They adore him and have already begun planning your wedding; you're stuck with him now.

Hoshi/Soonyoung:

❀ Initially, you were incredibly worried about introducing this delusion tiger man to your older sister because you were sure that she would ask you whether you wanted to date a madman. You forgot, however, that Hoshi can be incredibly shy when meeting people for the first time. He is so timid, glancing over at you for assurance every so often, that your sister has to pull you aside to ask whether this man truly is the same insane one you have described in your stories.

❀ He acts shyer and younger around your older sister, reverting to his younger brother role, and she dotes on him so much. He gets a lot calmer around your sister, and quite often, he tends to sit back to watch the two of you bicker back and forth, reminding him of his older sister.

❀ In your sister's eyes, he is the perfect boyfriend for you. He always texts her whenever he wants to buy you something, double-checking with her whether you will like the gift. Their private chat consists mostly of your sister sending him gift ideas based on what you mentioned or looked at during your last shopping trip.

❀ You have repeatedly told her to stop supporting his delusional tiger agenda. Whenever she sees anything tiger-related, she makes sure to buy it to gift to Hoshi the next time you meet up with her. She even goes to the extent of scolding you when you tell him to knock it off.

❀ After he gets more comfortable and his crazy side comes out to play, she will lean over to you to ask whether you have replaced him with a clone.

Wonwoo:

❀ Wonwoo can be incredibly introverted and shy, so when you proposed introducing him to your twin brother, he had a full-on mental breakdown, pestering Mingyu constantly for advice. He knew that you were very close to your twin brother, and it would mean the world to you for the both of them to get along nicely. He couldn't afford to mess this up.

❀ Initially, the meet-up was incredibly awkward, neither saying very much and, instead, sending you countless help-me-out glances. Fortunately, you knew exactly what topic to bring up to get the two socially inept souls talking: video games. You hadn't been particularly worried about the two not getting along, knowing that both of them were enthusiastic gamers.

❀ Nevertheless, a part of you slowly started regretting bringing up video games. The two had been discussing LoL and PUBG strategies for the past hour, and even though it was interesting, you would appreciate the occasional change in topic.

❀ Even worse, after the two of them exchanged user names, you now have to share your boyfriend with your twin. At this point, Wonwoo is spending more time with your brother duoing on Valorant than taking you on dates.

Woozi/Jihoon:

❀ All the training Seventeen has given him, preparing him for the day he would get a significant other with siblings, has been for nought. He still acts like he has never seen a child before upon entering your house. He is so worried that he will mess this up that you can see his hands shaking as he stares at your younger siblings.

❀ Fortunately, Woozi has a superpower; he is loaded and doesn't care to spend it on himself. The moment he offers to buy your younger siblings food with his black card is the moment he becomes their all-time favourite person. Armed with this valuable information, he spoils them rotten; your siblings only have to mention something or point at something in a display, and he will almost trip over himself to get it.

❀ You have tried getting him to stop, as you don’t want your siblings to continuously expect expensive gifts, but Woozi refuses to listen. Just as he does with Seventeen, he treats them like his own family, ensuring that they know he treasures them by burying them underneath a pile of gifts.

❀ One of your younger brothers is convinced he is Iron Man or Batman because someone that rich surely must be a superhero. You may have accidentally let it slip and told Woozi. He has never been more determined to empty out his bank account.

DK/Seokmin:

❀ DK is one of those people that is immediately loved by your family. He is such a sweet and happy person; how can anyone not fall in love with him? DK, in addition to that, is one of those types of people who want to be close to their partner's family and dedicate a lot of time to hanging out with them.

❀ He is perfect boyfriend material when it comes to dealing with your younger sibling, spending hours and hours playing hide and seek with them. In all honesty, DK is far more energetic than your younger siblings, and after spending an afternoon running around with him, they always immediately pass out.

❀ DK is so thoughtful when it comes to older siblings. He makes sure to put reminders for their birthdays on his phone, and he always seems to remember whatever they briefly mentioned wanting for a gift during a conversation five years ago. Does your older sister like theatre? Well, guess what. DK somehow managed to get his hands on tickets for that new popular musical. He only spent the past five hours calling every actor in his contact list to ask whether they could get him in. 

❀ DK would absolutely love to have a big in-law family with many older and younger siblings to surround him. The constant chatter and energy remind him of Seventeen, and, in his opinion, nothing beats that. 

Mingyu:

❀ Hear me out. Mingyu is husband material and the dream of every mother-in-law. That being said, your siblings at first couldn't stand him. It wasn't even anything Mingyu did, but from the moment he stepped into your house and met your mother, she completely fell in love with him.

❀ She keeps comparing Mingyu to them. They can't escape her mentioning Mingyu and his amazing qualities in every other conversation, resulting in a bit of resentment. “Mingyu would cook for me.” “I wouldn’t have to ask Mingyu to put his laundry in the basket.” “Mingyu would at least offer to help me clean the house.” 

❀ They would have been able to ignore her if the guy had any flaws, but no, the guy is tall, handsome, rich, talented and intelligent. They begrudgingly admit that maybe they could be more like him, and the world would be better off for it. They also have to begrudgingly admit that they too, are completely charmed by Mingyu.

❀ Poor Mingyu thinks that he has done something wrong and that they absolutely hate his guts. However, when Mingyu reveals he had a rough week due to an insane amount of random hate comments on his Instagram, they surprise him by declaring war. They have been fuming behind their laptops, insulting anyone who dares to hate on Mingyu. It made him tear up.

The8/Minghao:

❀ He was incredibly anxious when you wanted to introduce your little sister to him; sure, he is good with children, but he never had to deal with younger siblings. Even within Seventeen, he is one of the younger ones, and he already struggles to keep up with the chaos of his twelve members, lovingly (but harshly) scolding them whenever they tired him out. What if he accidentally loses it when your little sister bounces off the walls and insults her, forever damaging her self-esteem???

❀ Well, he had nothing to worry about. Sure, it takes him a second to realize that philosophical discussions with a barely ten-year-old won’t work, but the moment he discovers that your sister likes dressing up and drawing, he knows he will do fine.

❀ He organizes an entire fashion show for her and helps her assemble the most stylish outfits. Every morning, your little sister forces you to send Minghao pictures of her outfits, and he never fails to send a heartfelt compliment back.

❀ Moreover, Minghao spends many afternoons teaching her to throw paint at canvases. One of the paintings hangs proudly in his apartment for everyone to see, and another has replaced you as his phone background. You would be upset if it wasn’t so adorable.

Seungkwan:

❀ Seungkwan fits right in with your older sisters. Maybe it is because he has two older sisters himself, but somehow, it's as if he always has been a part of your family. You feel like he broke a record as he got them to love him in less than five minutes.

❀ The three of them have a private group chat where they share the latest tea and gossip. Neither party knows any of the people the other mentions. Still, whenever anything remotely exciting happens, it will be discussed at length in the chat.

❀ Recently, they have upgraded to calling, and Sarah-from-work's not-so-subtle move on their married boss may have interrupted your date. Then again, you were quite invested in what Sarah-from-work did this time as well, making Seungkwan put them on speaker.

❀ He is so comfortable with your sisters that they have no issue roasting each other. The moment they hurl an insult at you, he has got your back, ready with an arsenal of embarrassing moments they entrusted him with. It never fails to make you love him more.

Vernon:

❀ When you told your older brother that you had a boyfriend, he was ready to give them a good talking to, intimidating them the way an older brother should. However, the moment you introduced Vernon to him, his entire game plan went out of the window. Your brother quite quickly realized that Vernon had drunk enough respect-women-juice that he would never intentionally hurt you.

❀ Moreover, the two of them connected over some obscure film that you had never heard of. They spent most of the evening discussing what they thought of its plot and how the cinematography masterfully added to the atmosphere in the scenes. You could tell that your brother was impressed by how well-articulated and well-thought-out his points were.

❀ At the end of the evening, your brother has completely forgotten about the if-you-hurt-my-sister talk he was supposed to have. The two of them even make plans to go to an indie film that is releasing in art cinemas next week.

❀ That being said, I do not think Vernon would be the type of person who needs to be best friends with your siblings. Sure, he would want to be friendly with them and would not be opposed to the occasional hang-out, but he wouldn’t go out of his way to do stuff with them one-on-one.

Dino/Chan:

❀ It doesn’t really matter whether you have younger or older siblings. Dino is used to both. He grew up with a younger brother and is fully aware of how annoying they can be and how much responsibility you feel towards them as the older one. Dino also has had to deal with twelve annoying older brothers who don’t let him breathe.

❀ Bro is ready with the quick comebacks. Do your siblings want to tease him about something potentially embarrassing he did? Good luck. His members have completely desensitized him. Do your siblings betray him in a game of Risk? He won’t get upset; his members have tried sacrificing him in games even when it wasn’t needed.

❀ Your siblings can’t help but be impressed by how witty and quick he is. When he mentions it to his members, they have the audacity to tell him that this has been part of their plan all along. He definitely believes them when they argue that all the years of teasing and borderline physical harm were for the day he would meet his partner’s sibling, easily able to remain calm regardless of whatever teasing remark was thrown his way.

❀ “What if my partner would have been an only child?” They suddenly get really quiet. The wall has become interesting.

masterlist

[sky-kenobye]

Fic idea that I've been obsessing over in the last couple of days:

TLDR: Obi-Wan gets dumped on his wedding day, Anakin suggests they get married instead to save Obi-Wan the humiliation (and money), he agrees, they get married and nobody realises the stunt they pulled (except for the few people they told), and they both realise that actually it's great to be married to each other and that they wouldn't have it any other way, and probably get their happily ever after.

(A lot more details under the cut for those who are interested!)

Obi-Wan is getting married to someone (I was thinking Satine at first but I don't want to bash on her just because she's in the way of my ship so let's say an original character 🤷), Anakin is his best man, and it's a kinda big and traditional wedding and they did the 'you can't see your bride until the ceremony' stuff, so Obi-Wan is already at the city hall(?), while the bride will be coming later, just before the start of the ceremony.

It's less than an hour before the start and some early guests are already getting there. One of the bride's guest (Padmé?) is arriving when she gets a phone call from the bride, telling her that the wedding is canceled, sorry for calling at the last minute but she had to call all the guests and she was the last one. At the same time Anakin is coming out of the building for whatever reason and Padmé is like 'wdym it's canceled? The best man is here, and I can see other guests!'. The bride kinda panicks and hangs up, and Padmé flags Anakin down to ask what's going on.

He's also baffled because Obi-Wan didn't say it was cancelled, he's ready to get married and everything and he saw him about 10 seconds ago. They try to call the bride back but she doesn't answer, then they try to call another guest of the bride that Padmé knows. She answers and they learn that apparently the bride called in the morning and said that Obi-Wan had cancelled the wedding and dumped her at the last minute and they were each calling their half of the guests to tell them not to show up (which is clearly a bunch of lies from the bride).

They go and explain all of this to Obi-Wan who's confused and angry and heartbroken. He manages to get on the phone with the bride who properly dumps him, and by that time there's very little time before the ceremony was supposed to start. Most of the (Obi-Wan's) guests are there, and it's kind of (very) humiliating to have to go in front of all these people that he knows and tell them "wedding cancelled, I've been dumped, you can go home", and on top of that it wasn't a super cheap wedding so that sucks, and the catering is already ready so he'll have to throw away a ton of food? Not a great situation.

So Anakin has an idea: what if they get married instead? It's crazy so Obi-Wan tries to argue against it:

We can't get fake married! Then let's get real married!

People will still know I've been dumped and I'm pathetically trying to save face! None of the bride's guests will be there so i doubt it.

It was still her name on the wedding announcement. Okay then, maybe she dumped you like idk a month ago and I took the opportunity to declare my secret love for you!

And we got married less than a month later? It's hard and expensive as shit to cancel a wedding on such a short notice so we took the opportunity! It's not so unrealistic for me and I could probably convince you to do it.

But then we'll be married. Yeah, so? There are worst things in the world.

Obi-Wan is skeptical but not saying no yet, and Padmé is like 'honestly coming from anybody else I'd think they lost it, but from you two? I can see it. Not even sure I'd be all that surprised tbh'.

Obi-Wan's not having a great time and getting married to Anakin sounds a thousand times better than telling people what actually happened so he says fuck it let's do it.

They form a quick battle plan: Obi-Wan will go talk to the officiant to change the bride's name to anakin's (is it legally possible in any country? Probably not but let's pretend it is and that the marriage is still valid), Anakin will find them new best men/women (probably quinlan for obi-wan and ahsoka for anakin? Or padmé since she's already in the loop) and brief them on the situation, and Padmé will find a ring that fits Anakin (she borrows one of the guest's, maybe Owen Lars'?).

Only a few minutes late, they come out in front of all the guests, do a quick speech explaining the unexpected change (with a few lies of course), and the ceremony begins. Everything goes smoothly, Obi-Wan improvises very moving (and actually 100% honest) wedding vows, Anakin is crying and forgot they needed wedding vows but manages to put a few sentences together which are equally as honest as Obi-Wan's and make people cry too (they think he forgot his vows because of the emotion). They put the rings on each other, kiss and all of that, and when they leave the building they're both beaming so wide that it doesn't occur to anybody to be suspicious, the grooms look so happy and in love!

Then it's time for the reception and everybody has a great time, the grooms have a very sweet first dance, and they're all over each other the entire evening, how adorable! And if they disappear for a little while (Obi-Wan may be happy to get married to Anakin but he still just got dumped, so he may want to have a few minutes to breath in a quiet corner and get a good hug) then everybody assumes they're making out in a closet or something. Owen laughs at them for forgetting the rings (which is what he assumes is the reason they needed his ring), and they get a lot of friendly ribbing for 'keeping their wedding a secret' from pretty much everybody.

And maybe after a few drink they do really disappear to make out and decide that marrying your best friend that you've always kind of been into without ever admitting it is pretty amazing actually.

[sunder-the-gold]

Do you think that Scott Pilgrim Takes Off was a series that was written by people who either hate the source material so much that they want to change it or love the source material so much that they want to make improvements to it?

First, I want to make it clear that I'm only strictly answering your question, and I'm not addressing the unrelated question of "Is Scott Pilgrim Takes Off any good?"

Second, a confession upfront. I haven't read Scott Pilgrim or watched the movie. I was definitely interested in watching this animated adaptation as my first introduction to the story, but I currently don't even have my own Netflix account, let alone have watched Takes Off for myself.

But I've been paying attention.

In that linked article, Grabinski, the writer for the 'adaptation', admitted that "There's a lot of ideas I did end up having that Bryan felt were wrong for Scott. Most of them end up in there..." (emphasis mine)

Have you heard about the Criterion of Embarrassment? It's the realization that historians had, that no person or nation would have a reason to record a lie about a great defeat or embarrassment. That if they passed such a story down in monuments, writing, or legends, it must be because they suffered a very real tragedy that they were desperate for their descendants to not repeat.

You may be more familiar with a modern take on the idea, through social media. "Posting your 'L's online", "telling on yourself", or "you could not have paid me to confess that".

Netflix is a corporation, and there is very little difference between a corporation and a nation. They seek profit to survive and grow stronger in a world filled with vicious rivals and would-be allies. Maintaining a strong, confident image keeps rivals from becoming too aggressive, and convinces would-be allies to continue investing support into what seems like a profitable venture.

Grabinski is a servant of Netflix, and will do his master's bidding for money.

Remember all the bullshit that Kevin Smith told the world about Revelations? Market strategy. Profit at any cost. Never admit when someone catches you with your pants down.

I'm not saying you should assume Grabinski's positive claims are lies. If a corporation tells me that grass is green and the sky is blue, I don't immediately assume everything I knew was a lie. That would be paranoid and self-defeating.

But what I will do is step outside to double-check, and see what the corporation may be lying about. The grass may currently be dead-brown, and the sky may currently be storm-green.

Grabinski admits that he asserted his vision in direct, knowing opposition that of the original creator, many times.

The same original creator who would have to sign a Non-Disclosure Agreement with Netflix that would gag him from saying anything negative about a venture into which Netflix invests a lot of money. So we also have to remain skeptical of silence and a lack of counter-claims.

But although we have to take positive claims and silence with a grain of salt, we absolutely should believe someone when they confess something that they would have EVERY REASON to not make up or confess unless it was a genuine fear and embarrassment to them.

"There's a lot of ideas I did end up having that Bryan felt were wrong for Scott. Most of them end up in there…"

"At the end of the day, if I don't feel like I've gotten away with something or like I robbed a bank and I'm not getting arrested, then I kind of feel like I fucked up when I made something anyway."

"There was a very long time where I felt like someone was gonna knock on a door and say, ‘Actually, you guys shouldn't do this.'"

A guilty conscience, by itself, isn't absolute proof of guilt. A conscience can be burdened with unworthy premises.

But this man couldn't reorient his conscience despite working with Bryan on this project for THREE YEARS, while wanting us to believe that he has Bryan's full, uncoerced blessing. And Grabinski can't stop telling on himself.

So we must use those embarrassing confessions as a fork to winnow the chaff from the grain.

"Our rule was that nothing would go on the show that either of us didn't like..." which is a positive claim that directly contradicts the embarrassing confession that Grabinski directly defied the creator "many" times to include things that "felt wrong" for Scott Pilgrim.

"If there's something Bryan didn't think was funny, it didn't go in there." But he'd already confessed to including things Bryan didn't agree with, and everyone can find something funny on its own merits without agreeing that it should be funny or that it belongs in some particular piece of art.

The Test of Love

How do you know someone truly loves something? That they seek to serve it, and not merely to use it?

Jesus of Nazareth had some things to say about love.

When asked what God's most important command was, he didn't just answer that the most important command was to love God. Because anyone could claim they loved God and that everything they did was in service to God. Madmen and monsters have done terrible things 'in God's name'.

So Jesus also told the people what the second-most important command was, because obeying this second command is how you know whether someone truly loves God.

"Love your neighbor as yourself." Because when you hurt God's other children, you are hating God.

What Am I On About?

Netflix does not love Scott Pilgrim if it disrespects Scott Pilgrim fans.

Netflix does not respect Scott Pilgrim fans when it uses False Advertising to avoid the possibility that some of them wouldn't have watched Ramona Flowers Takes Over.

Netflix does not love the fans when it is counting on hurt feelings to drive internet backlash, and for backlash to give it free marketing through Tumblr controversy.

Netflix DOES NOT LOVE. It produces and consumes. It is a corporation, designed to profit and survive.

A corporation will only sell worthwhile products as long as it fears you won't otherwise buy its products. But if you buy its products after it has blatantly lied to you, the corporation loses some of its fear.

It will lie to you again. It will try bigger and nastier lies. Because it does not love you, and you stopped making it fear you.

Netflix already did this with Masters of the Universe: Revelations.

Square-Enix did this with the Final Fantasy 7: Remake.

The corporations are all watching eagerly to see how successful this strategy is. Because none of them love you, and they are always hungry.

A final word: "Even THOSE fans? But I hate those fans!"

I don't think someone who focuses on how Scott Pilgrim is a 'bad person' is superior in any way to someone who denies Scott Pilgrim is a 'bad person'.

I think both sorts of people are myopically using Scott Pilgrim as a way to deny that they are ALSO 'bad people'.

And this meme also applies to what even the other characters of the story conclude about both Scott and Ramona!

"You two deserve each other -- not in the sense that no one else is good enough for either of you, but in that both of you should be quarantined together."

Ramona doesn't deserve a free pass denied to Scott.

If Ramona Flowers can be a good character because she's a 'bad person' who selfishly hurt a lot of people and who has to go through an entire story where she confronts her flaws, makes peace with her past, and tries to improve as a person...

Then Scott Pilgrim was not a crime against humanity for getting VS The World to tell the same sort of story.

Guess what! We're ALL 'bad people' who have selfish desires, who don't fully understand other people or what we're doing to them, and who have to learn how to be better people!

You don't get to point at a main character with real, ugly, human flaws and say "I'm better than him, so he shouldn't exist!"

You don't get to ignore a main character's flaws and say, "He's perfect the way he is and so I have every right to act exactly like him without any criticism!"

Because when you deny you're another 'bad person' like the rest of us, you not only refuse to improve, you become an even WORSE person.

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

I absolutely adore your content! I was wondering if you’d like to share your thoughts on a few things I noticed in SOC and CK.

In chapter 3 of SOC, Kaz says that he is bothered by the fact that Inej can vanish so completely- not even leaving behind a scent. Why does this bother him?

In CK, after rescuing Inej from Van Eck, Kaz notices that Inej found soap to bathe with. What does it mean that he can notice her scent now?

When Van Eck is torturing her, Inej promises herself that she will cut out his heart. In the end, though, it’s Pekka Rollins’ heart she begins to cut out. Why Rollins heart? And what would Kaz do or think if he ever found out about what Inwj did to Rollins? Sorry for the long ask. Would love to hear your thoughts.

Thank you so much!! I’m really intrigued by these because they aren’t things I’ve thought about before, but I’ll absolutely have a go at tackling them!!

I think Inej’s ability to disappear, with that particular emphasis on her scent, could easily go hand in hand with the idea of everything Kaz has ever loved so easily slipping through his fingers. If Inej disappeared completely it would be as if she never existed in the first place, not even leaving behind a scent, and I think that concept terrifies Kaz because he has had to live for 8 years watching the world move on as if Jordie never existed, literally erasing him with Kaz barely clinging to life being the only thing that eventually leads Rollins to having any memory of the boys at all. When Inej goes to Rollins and the end of Crooked Kingdom, he identifies her not by her name but as “the Wraith” or “Brekker’s little Suli girl” and I think that’s once again commemorative of the way he doesn’t see people; he sees properties, money, opportunities. His immediate assumption is that Inej has not come of her own volition but has been sent by Brekker, and he also assumes that he can convince her not do it by buying her out - “Whatever he’s paying you, I’ll double it”. Although Rollins likes to glorify himself by comparing himself to Van Eck, he has failed to realise that Inej’s loyalty to Kaz transcends any cost or debt, whereas it took Van Eck all of three minutes to realise the way the pair feel towards each other - “I wonder which will prove more effective, torturing Mr Brekker or making him watch as I torture you”.

I therefore wonder whether noticing the scent of the soap is important because it cements Inej in the real world; in these moments Kaz is vulnerable because his mad pursuit of Inej has left him feeling as though the others can see exactly what he’s thinking about her, his soul laid bare if you will, that no matter how much he claims that it’s all about the job there’s no way he hasn’t heard the others talking about his reaction to losing her. In this moment, when he feels like everything could slip from his grasp and he could lose his sense of reality, it’s Inej - the very thing he’s so terrified of losing - that tethers him to the world by so genuinely and obstinately existing. That might be a bit of reach, I dunno

And then the cutting out of the heart - I love that comparison, I’d never noticed that!!!! That could absolutely be another red herring mixed in with a clever twist of foreshadowing (I made a post about red herrings and foreshadowing in these books if anyone’s interested it’s on my page). It could also link to what Inej said to Van Eck on the bridge at the hostage exchange: “You will see me once more, but only once”. They then see each other after the auction, when Dunyasha’s body is on the ground and Inej is stood on the roof watching them. I think it’s possible that these are different kinds of threats for different kinds of men; Van Eck feared Inej because he saw her as “a thug” and “a blight on this city”, his expectation of her were violence and brutality, so she instead meets him with dignity, eloquence, and grace that elevates her above her societal station and directly juxtaposes the violence and torture that he perpetuates despite his supposed status and civility. In comparison, Rollins expects that no-one can be as tough as he is, no-one is as strong or as frightening as he can be. He expects Inej to be a “little Suli girl”, an unworthy adversary who speaks in riddles of “depressing Suli wisdom” and whom, despite the talent that he does not deny her, is ultimately just “some scrap of a girl from the Menagerie”. So she meets him with violence; she proves her strength and her courage, particularly emphasised by Rollins’ realisation that he hadn’t actually felt pain for a long time, saying “No-one had dared to raise a hand against him in years”, and in doing so solidifies herself as far more than the narrow role he defines her by.

Anyway, those are all spur of the moment thoughts as I hadn’t considered these ideas before I read your question, but I absolutely loved writing it and it was so fun to think about so thank you very much, and I’m so glad you like my posts! :)))

[tobiasdrake]

Digimon Adventure 01x30 - The Digimon's Great Traversal of Tokyo / Almost Home Free

Previously on Digimon Adventure: The Chosen Children searched for the Eighth Child in Hikarigaoka's local library, where they were able to look up a copy of the OVA and remember the plot. Mammon tried to cause a ruckus when they got to the Parrotmon part but it's okay 'cause Garudamon stepped out and took care of it.

The Chosen Children and Tailmon's mercenaries have all failed to find the Eighth Child in Hikarigaoka. But the Children have learned much about how they were Chosen.

This episode comes with a trigger warning: Human adults being child predators.

We open on PicoDevimon reporting back to Vamdemon about what happened.

Vamdemon: What? Garudamon has been sighted? PicoDevimon: Yes, sir. It's been reported that the Chosen Children have arrived in this world. Vamdemon: Have you located the Eighth Child yet? PicoDevimon: We're currently raising our efforts and expanding our search perimeter.

As he speaks, we see glimpses of Tailmon and a few mercs no longer in silhouette.

Tailmon is roaming around the city, continuing her manual search from last episode.

Wizarmon is street performing at the amusement park to lure in children so he check the counterfeit Crest against a crowd.

SkullMeramon is skulking about in a trenchcoat watching children like a creep.

Gesomon is patrolling the waterways. I... guess he's looking for water children?

(Wizarmon is the stand-out smart guy of the bunch. He's letting the children come to him in an innocuous fashion. SkullMeramon, meanwhile, is likely to be reported to police by concerned onlookers. As he should; He has hostile intentions towards children.)

Vamdemon: The children must also be looking for the Eighth Child. Hurry! We cannot let the children gain the upper hand! PicoDevimon: Yes, sir!

Almost no change in the dub, with the exception of silence-breaking dialogue added to the shots of the searching Digimon.

DemiDevimon: We're looking everywhere! Air, land, and sea! We've got it covered, no problem!

I'm as confused by why the Eighth Child would be in the air as I am by why she'd be in the sea.

Then again... frame of reference. Aerial children and aquatic children are completely normal where Tailmon and PicoDevimon come from.

Meanwhile, the children make plans to leave Hikarigaoka.

Taichi: If the Eighth Child's not here in Hikarigaoka, we should hurry up and look in other places. We can't waste time here or Vamdemon will get ahead of us. Mimi: But couldn't they just be goofing off somewhere? Koushiro: No, I don't think so. The other connection between all of us is.... Sora: We all moved away from Hikarigaoka? Koushiro: Yes. Unless that is a coincidence, we should assume that the Eighth Child also moved. Taichi: So they could be in Odaiba like us? Koushiro: That is our most likely possibility. Mimi: (excited) I want to go home! Taichi: Yeah... Alright, let's head for Odaiba first!

Irony: We didn't actually need to come to Hikarigaoka and spent all that time manipulating Fujiyama for nothing. And now we have to find a way to reach Odaiba 27 miles away, because we got off our transport to Odaiba so we could come to Hikarigaoka.

The dub skips the discussion of why we're going to Odaiba. Tai is convinced right from the get-go that the Eighth Child is in Odaiba, for reasons unexplained.

Mimi: Can we get a snack before we go looking? Tai: There's no time. We've got to get to Odaiba and find that Eighth Kid before somebody else does! Mimi: How will we get there? Do you think there's any fast food places along the way? Tai: Would you knock it off about the food? Anyway, we've only got enough money for our subway tickets. Joe: Subway? Oh, wow. My parents won't let me ride the subway by myself. Tai: You're not by yourself. Now come on! Mimi: Are subways like regular trains? I mean, do they have snack cars? Tai: JUST DROP IT!!! And stick together, everybody. It can get kind of confusing down here.

They also tweak Mimi's dialogue so that Tai can yell at her. This one's a bit odd, in that it actually fits Mimi's established characterization from the original pretty well. As we know from the Kentarumon episode, Mimi's stubborn when she's hangry. So, unlike the Valley Girl bits, this bit is rooted in her original persona pretty well.

But I'm still miffed that Mimi gets three lines in this scene and they're all prompts for Tai to tell her to shut the fuck up.

Also, Joe gets one too. Pretty much the entire scene has been replaced with Tai dunking on Joe and Mimi to show how much of a boss he is. Izzy, the actual main character of this scene, doesn't even get a word in.

The Chosen Children descend into the incredibly complex Tokyo rail network.

Jou: Let's see... The fastest way to reach Odaiba is.... Mimi: (shrug) I can't tell because there's so many routes available. Koushiro: (laptop) Please wait just a minute. The fastest way to get there is... If we take the Toei #12 Line from here to Nakano-sakaue, transfer to the Marunouchi and Ginza Lines and leave from Shimbashi, the Yurikamome route will take us to Odaiba. Taichi: Okay then! (approaching ticket machine) Let's head to Nakano-sakaue first.

Glad we have Koushiro here to Computers our way through the incredibly intimidating Tokyo rail network because Jou probably would have been here all day and Mimi, I'm sorry but you are no help here.

In the dub, Joe starts us off with a quip and Mimi's still on about the food.

Joe: I just hope Myotismon has as much trouble reading this map as I do. Mimi: Okay, what do we do now!? Besides starve to death! Izzy: I'm just figuring it out. ...okay, that'll work. Now, the fastest route to Odaiba is to take the #12 train to Nagano and transfer to the Marunouchi Line. Then transfer to the Ginza and get off at Shimbashi. Mimi: ...huh? Tai: Sounds simple enough. (approaching ticket machine) Now we just have to figure out the right fare.

Surprisingly, Izzy relays Koushiro's directions for navigating the Tokyo subway system almost word for word.

He cuts Nakano-sakaue down to "Nagano". Point off for mispronouncing it, but dropping the "-sakaue" isn't necessarily wrong. Nakano-sakaue is the name of the subway station for Nakano Ward, so both ways of saying it work.

In a refreshing change of pace, this scene is completely unafraid to be in Japan. They even show us the subway map unedited, with all of its Japanese text marking the different stations intact.

While Taichi's buying tickets, the Digimon chime in.

Koromon: (hops up on the counter) Hey Taichi, what's that? Taichi: A ticket. This is what we use to ride the subway. Palmon: Subway? Patamon: What's that? Jou: Shhh! Don't talk so much in front of other people. This place isn't like your world. If anyone sees you talking, they'll cause a fuss. Sora: Listen, while you're here, you need to pretend to be stuffed animals. You can't move around, okay? I know it's going to be tough, but please bear with it. Pyokomon: Okay, I understand! I won't talk or move. It's much easier to be carried around by Sora anyway. (wiggles and sings) Hehe ~Sora~-- Sora: I just said not to move!

It's not easy being Digimon in the human world. I feel for them. I'd hate to have to pretend to be a plushie all day too.

(Oh, so that's why Mimi's so hungry. Off-model Chonky Patamon ate all the food. Now he can see through time.)

The dub follows the script until it gets to Sora and Yokomon. Pyokomon's bit is a callback to her and Sora's first episode on File Island, but the dub cut the clingy ~Sora ~Sora ~Sora conflict from the episode so the callback doesn't work here. Instead, Yokomon has an idea.

Sora: Yeah, while we're here, you've got to pretend to be toys or stuffed animals. But remember to keep still and no fidgeting. Yokomon: Here's an idea! I'll be one of those dolls you told me about. The kind where you squeeze them and they go... (wiggles and sings) ...WAHH! WAHH! WAHH! Sora: Be a doll that doesn't talk!

Once the tickets are purchased, IT'S FIGHTING TIME!!!

...wait, what?

While the Chosen Children wait for the train, Tsunomon and Koromon start chatting despite what Jou said a moment ago.

Koromon: Is this a cave? Tsunomon: It's a weird cave. Yamato: (hisses) Hey! Be quiet. Announcer: The train is arriving on time. Please remain behind the white line.

Hearing the rumbling of the approaching train, the two Baby Digimon grow concerned.

Koromon: W-What's that sound? Tsunomon: Is that a Digimon's voice!? Koromon: LOOK!!! THERE'S SOMETHING GLOWING IN THE CAVE!!! Tsunomon: That's it! It must be one of Vamdemon's minions!

Before Taichi and Yamato realize what's happening, Koromon and Tsunomon leap onto the goddamn train tracks to fight the oncoming train.

Taichi: HUH!?!? Yamato: TSUNOMON!!!

They realize their mistake once they see the train approach. It's not super clear how Koromon and Tsunomon survive this, but they're intact after it passes and seem to have pressed themselves against the back wall to avoid being hit.

Fortunately, this train is apparently not stopping here and speeds right on past. I guess that one isn't not ours.

In the dub:

Koromon: It's some kind of cave. Tsunomon: I don't like being underground. Yamato: Hey! Put a lid on it. Announcer: Attention, attention. #12 train now arriving at platform 7. Koromon: What? Where'd that voice come from. Tsunomon: You heard it!? Then it's not just inside my head! Koromon: SOMETHING'S COMING!!! Tsunomon: LOOK AT THOSE GLOWING EYES!!! IT'S ONE OF MYOTISMON'S GOONS!!! (Koromon and Tsunomon leap onto the tracks) Tai: HEY!!! Matt: Watch out!

The dub puts a commercial break right here, moments before the train threatens to splatter Koromon and Tsunomon. Which is honestly a great place for it. A+ commercial placement. Solid cliffhanger to keep the kids from changing the channel.

It also claims that this is the train we're waiting for. Which makes it odd that the train doesn't stop at our platform. Excuse you, we would like to get on, please.

The kids board the subway with their "stuffed animals".

It does not go well.

The seven Chosen Children have a row of seats to themselves on the crowded train, with their Digimon in their laps.

Taichi: (angrily) Making me worry....

Taichi punches Koromon in the head for that stunt.

In the dub, it's:

Tai: We can't take you guys anywhere!

Suddenly, they overhear a baby crying. A woman, forced to stand for lack of available seating, is trying to soothe her crying baby. Sora stands up, offering her seat to the woman.

Mother: There, there. Stop crying and be a good boy. Sora: (stands) Um, here you go. Mother: Oh! Thank you so much. (sits, patting her baby) Good boy... Good boy... Don't cry.

Suddenly, the baby stops crying. He sees Pyokomon in Sora's arms. Without warning, he reaches out and grabs her pistil.

(RUDE. In case you are not familiar with the anatomy of a flower, that orange stem sticking up from Pyokomon is her pistil. It's the female sex organ, containing her seed pod. The yellow ones are her stamens, which are male sex organs that produce pollen for germinating the pistil. Flowers have both.

This child is basically yanking Pyokomon's ovaries. Her pistil and stamen may be strictly aesthetic but it's still rude!)

The child's mother is oblivious to the yanking, having shut her eyes to enjoy a blissful moment of rest once her child stopped crying.

Sora: E-Excuse me. Mother: Huh? ...oh, I'm so sorry. Come on....

She tries to pull her child's hand off of Pyokomon's pistil, but that infuriates the boy. He starts yelling and tugging harder, as if trying to rip the pistil out.

Mochimon: ...that has to hurt....

Finally, Pyokomon reaches her breaking point and screams.

Pyokomon: THAT HURTS!!! STOP PULLING ON ME!!!

The entire train goes deathly quiet.

In the dub:

Mother: Aww, there now. Hush. Come on. Sora: (stands) Here, take my seat. Mother: Huh? Oh! Thank you! (sits) Wasn't that nice of that girl? We've been on our feet all day, haven't we? (The mom shuts her eyes and the baby starts yanking on Yokomon) Sora: Uhh! Excuse me! Mother: Huh? Oh! What are you doing now!? No... (The mother tires to pull the baby's hand away; The baby yanks harder) Mother: No no, honey! Let go now! That's the girl's toy. Come on! Honey! Motimon: Ouch, that's gotta hurt. Mother: Oh come on, honey. Let go of the girl's toy before you break it! HONEY.... Yokomon: HEY!!! WILL YOU LET GO OF ME!?!?

The mother gets some silence-breaking dialogue during the hard yanking, which comes through pretty well here. We don't really see much of the mom after that initial attempt, so the implied continued effort to control her child is good for the scene, I think.

Also, "We've been on our feet all day, haven't we?" is a lovely addition to the scene. I really like the dub's take on the mom here.

I do think the original version of Pyokomon's outburst hits harder than Yokomon's. Pyokomon breaks protocol because her pain tolerance has hit its limit and she can't take any more of this torture. Motimon tries to sell it and we do see Yokomon grimacing in pain, but Yokomon's line just sounds like she's mad that her personal space is being violated.

For a good ten seconds after Pyokomon's outburst, you can hear a pin drop. Then a kid points and shouts.

Kid: IT TALKED!!! THE DOLL TALKED!!! Sora: (lightbulb) That must have hurt! You poor thing! There, there....

Sora gently pets Pyokomon and whispers the plan to her. From here, when Pyokomon speaks, Sora covers Pyokomon's mouth with her hand and subtly moves her own lips to make it look like she's throwing her voice.

Sora: (whisper) Play along with whatever I say. Pyokomon: U-Uh-huh. Sora: (loudly) But you know, the baby only did that because he really likes you, Pyokomon! Pyokomon: Really? Sora: It's true! So forgive him for what he did, okay? Pyokomon: I'm sorry for yelling at you.

The plan works. The baby starts laughing and having a good time.

The dub starts this scene with another Good Actually silence-destroying line, with a bewildered Sora attempting to explain. Meanwhile, the pointing kid is noticeably played by Izzy's actor trying and failing to differentiate his voice by putting on a Rough Kid tone.

Sora: ...I guess my toy didn't like when you pulled on it.... Kid: Did you hear that!? That stuffed animal talked! Sora: ...AH! It worked! All that practice is paying off! Fooled 'em, didn't we? (pets Yokomon and whispers) Hush, just keep quiet and play along.

In the original, Pyokomon speaks while Sora subtly but visibly moves her lips to disguise the source of her voice. Sora holds her hand over Pyokomon's mouth to disguise the movement of Pyokomon's own mouth, so it looks like the one speaking is really Sora.

In the dub, Sora tells Yokomon to keep quiet, then she badly attempts to imitate Yokomon's voice with her subtle lip flaps.

Sora: Come on! The baby pulled your hair because he likes you, that's all! Sora-Yokomon: Oh, really? Sora: There's no reason to bite the poor thing's head off! Sora-Yokomon: Oh! I'm very sorry I shouted!

Since Sora has no experience with ventriloquism and obviously can't be throwing her voice correctly, I'm not sure why the dub ploy works. There's also no reason for her to be covering Yokomon's mouth, since Yokomon isn't saying anything.

The plan works well and the crowd buys it. In fact, the plan works too well.

Kid's Father: Oh, she's doing ventriloquism. It's really the young lady who's speaking for the doll. Isn't that amazing? Bystander 1: It's just ventriloquism. Bystander 2: I really thought it talked! Bystander 3: Obviously, it couldn't have!

The other Chosen Children, watching Sora's near-disaster with bated breath, finally exhale. Everything looks to be ov--

Kid: I want one! Dad, I want that doll! Buy it! Buy it! Buy it, Dad! Come on, buy it! Father: (gets up and approaches Sora) Excuse me, miss. Sorry to bother you, but where did you get that? Sora: W-Where...?

The other kids watch Sora with fear and horror on their faces once more. How the hell is she supposed to answer this question? Ten seconds of silence pass as Sora struggles to think of something to say.

Announcement: (bing bong) Nerima. This is Nerima. Please exit to your right. Sora: ...the... NERIMA DAIKON DEPARTMENT STORE!!! Father: Aha! Thank you!

Father, son, and every other passenger all rush out the door at once, leaving the Chosen Children alone on the train. Except the mother and baby, who wait for the rush before departing much more calmly.

Mother: (to Sora) Thank you very much. (disembarks) Pyokomon: Farewell!

At long last, we are out of the danger zone.

Over in the dub, the pointing kid manages to be even more obnoxious, and the father fills those ten seconds of silence with dialogue.

Kid: I want one! Daddy, give me that toy! I want that doll! If I don't get one RIGHT NOW I'LL START SCREAMING AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS!!! Father: Shhh. (gets up and approaches Sora) Excuse me, young lady. Can I ask where you bought that doll? I need one right away. Sora: Uh... Where I bought it? Father: It's not that hard a question, is it? Come on. You'll be doing me a big favor. Where did you find it? Announcement: This stop is Nerima. Please watch your step. Again, this stop is Nerima. Sora: Ohh... THE NERIMA DEPARTMENT STORE!!! Father: What? Nerima! Thanks a lot! Come on, son! (Crowd races out; Mother stands up to leave last) Mother: (to Sora) Thanks again. (disembarks) Pyokomon: Goodbye!

Nobody does pushy, entitled brats like Americans. We are the MVP of spoiled rotten children. And spoiled rotten adults, too. That the Japanese father patiently waits for Sora to come up with her answer while the American father jumps down her throat and won't let her think seems very fitting of both cultures.

Though he's actually supposed to be Japanese in both versions so... IDK.

Now that we're finally alone in the car and we've managed that crisis, the kids start to relax. Sora returns to her seat and everyone breathes a collective sigh of relief.

Sora: That was a close one. Taichi: I thought we were goners for a second there. Jou: What is the Nerima Daikon Department Store? Sora: No idea. Takeru: I'm tired.... Mimi: Now that my tension's drained, I'm starting to feel sleepy.... Yamato: Yeah, me too.... Takeru: Hey, where are we supposed to get off again? Koushiro: At Nakano-sakaue.... Takeru: Nakano... sakaue....

Coming down off the adrenaline surge and already tired from a long day, the children drift off to sleep.

In the dub:

Sora: Wow, that was a close one. Tai: Pretty weird how nuts that kid went over Yokomon. Joe: If we don't find the Eighth Child, we could go into the-- Sora: --toy business? T.K.: How much longer? Mimi: Who knows? Someone wake me when we get there. Matt: Yeah, me too. T.K.: What's the name of the stop where we're getting off again? Izzy: We get off in Nagano. T.K.: Okay... Nagano....

We lose Sora's admission that she made up the department store she just sent those people to, which is a funny punchline replaced by an awkward quip about selling toys if Myotismon kills Kari.

We also lose Mimi's exposition that coming down off the adrenaline high is why the kids are suddenly taking inappropriate naptime.

By the time the train pulls into Nakano-sakaue, the children are fast asleep.

Patamon wakes up to the announcement they've arrived.

Announcer: Nakano-sakaue. Nakano-sakaue. Please exit to your right. Patamon: Nakano...saka... Huh? Why aren't we getting off here? Palmon: Shh. Don't talk.

Patamon claps his front paws over his mouth and hushes up. The train doors close and the train continues on its way.

In the dub, an interesting thing occurs with the announcement. The sign over the door in the original has the kanji for "Nakano-sakaue" in orange lettering, with red English lettering under it that says the same.

Despite all the uncensored Japanese lettering we've seen up to this point, apparently that sign is a bridge too far. Odd place to draw the line in the sand, given that this one comes with built-in English next to it, but okay.

The dub edits it for the "Nagano" station, so that it just has large, orange English lettering. The new orange lettering spells out "Nakano-sakaue".

Announcer: This stop is Nagano. Please watch your step. Again, this stop is Nagano. Patamon: Ohh! Huh? Hey! Here's our stop! Loo-- Palmon: We're supposed to be quiet.

So chalk this up to yet another example of the people editing the animation not communicating with the scripting team, I guess. The voice saying "This stop is Nagano" plays while the Nakano-sakaue sign is front and center onscreen.

At least it's not as bad as Shogunmon.

Eventually, the children wake up to find themselves at the wrong stop.

Sora: Huh? Jou: This is... (Cut to the sign) Jou: SHINJUKU!?!? GACKKKKK!!! Taichi: WE SLEPT THROUGH OUR STOP!!! Takeru: Patamon, you were awake!? Patamon: Yes. Takeru: Why didn't you wake us up!? Patamon: Because you told us not to talk. Children: (collective heavy sigh) Jou: Should we go back to Nakano-sakaue? Koushiro: No. I think we can still transfer to the Marunouchi Line from here.

In the dub, it's Mimi that notices where they are. Tragically, she does not make angry throat noises.

Sora: Ugh... huh? Tai: Huh? Joe: Whuh? (Cut to the sign) Mimi: HOW'D WE MISS OUR STOP!?!? Patamon: All of you slept right through it. T.K.: Patamon, you were awake!? Patamon: Sure! T.K.: What's wrong with you!? Why didn't you wake us up!? Patamon: How could I? You told us not to make a sound! Children: (collective groan) Joe: What now? Go back to our stop? Izzy: No. It's out of our way, but I think we can change trains here and be okay.

With the exception of Jou's angry throat noises, this is otherwise mostly the same. The other main difference is that they give Patamon a line for T.K. to react to. In the original, Takeru just sort of... somehow knows Patamon was awake, without explanation.

So this one goes down as a rare improvement over the original.

As the kids make their way through the station, appetites begin to flare up.

Koromon: Hey, Taichi, I'm hungry.... Tsunomon: Me too.... Palmon: So am I. Taichi: Deal with it. I'm hungry too, y'know. Mimi: I want to eat a hamburger.

Yes, Mimi is actually craving a hamburger in the original. "Watashi hamburger tabetai." That is not a dub line change. The thought of a hamburger, in fact, brings the group to a halt.

Sora: A hamburger? Yamato: I haven't had that in a long time.

Then they just stop. Looking to one another with glum expressions; The weight of this simple pleasure they've been deprived for so long hanging over everybody's heads. Seven seconds of silence pass as everyone processes what they've been missing. Finally broken when Mimi offers everyone a pleasant smile to try and raise the mood.

The dub plays this straight from the start, but then breaks script at Mimi's line and extends conversation to break the silence that follows.

Koromon: How much longer? I'm getting awful hungry, Tai! Tsunomon: Yeah, I'm starving! Palmon: Famished! Tai: It can wait. Hey, I'm hungry too, y'know! Mimi: I keep visualizing cheeseburgers. And I don't even eat cheeseburgers! (Group stops, beat) Matt: It has been a long time since any of us have eaten. And our Digimon get weak when they're hungry. (beat) Tai: ...okay.... Mimi: (pleasant smile)

Tonal shift. The English scene uses the burgers to point out that the kids haven't eaten since arriving in the human world, rather than that they've been away at war for several months. This is a tactical conversation, rather than a lingering realization of mutual hardship.

Additionally, it's Tai that cheers Mimi up by agreeing to get food rather than Mimi attempting to cheer everyone else up by putting on a brave face.

Two members of our nakama, however, are suspiciously absent from this conversation.

Jou and Koushiro navigate a crowd of people, trying to find their way.

Koushiro: The Marunouchi Line.... There are a lot of stations here. Jou: (calling over the noise) LISTEN UP, EVERYONE!!! BE SURE TO STAY CLOSE BEHIND US AND.... Uh.... (beat) Jou: (meekly) Hey, Koushiro? Koushiro: What is it, Jou-san? Jou: (meekly) Everybody's gone. Koushiro: Eh!? Jou: Honestly, where did they all go!? Koushiro: Oh, right. (pulls out Digivice) If we use this, we can find where everyone is right away! (looks at it) Wait. Why isn't it reacting? It worked fine when we were in the Digimon's world. Jou: Maybe it broke when we got here. Koushiro: (shakes the Digivice) That can't be right.

Koushiro tries shaking his Digivice to rattle it into working. I see he's finally beginning to side with Taichi on the topic of percussive maintenance.

As they walk, a woman in cosplay offers Jou a free sample of something.

Woman: Here you go.

Gomamon opens his mouth and happily bites it out of her hand.

Woman: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! (beat) Jou: AHHHHHHHHHH!!! THIS IS A TOY!!! A TOY!!!

Jou very unsuspiciously runs like hell while screaming "It's a toy" over and over at the top of his lungs. We are doing such a good job of keeping a low profile. :D

In the dub, Izzy and Joe seem to have psychically predicted that we'd be going for food because they are not looking for the Marunouchi line.

Joe: This place is a zoo! And not a restaurant in sight. The first one to see someplace to eat, give a shout, okay? ...huh? (beat) Joe: Oh, uh, hey, Izzy? Izzy: What is it? You see something? Joe: The other guys. They're gone. Izzy: WHAT!?!? Joe: I can't believe this! They ditched us! (groan) Izzy: Okay, okay. Don't panic. (pulls out Digivice) As long as we have this, we can always find them. (looks at it) Huh? That's funny. Why isn't it working? You think something might have happened to it when we came back to the real world? Joe: All I know is that this is one of those days where everything goes wrong. Izzy: (shakes the Digivice) Come on!

He also has a different terrible excuse for the sample incident.

Woman: Free samples! Gomamon: (chomp) Woman: AHHHHHHHHH!!! (beat) Joe: Uh... BAD DOG BAD DOG!!! (runs like hell)

So it seems like, in the dub version, Koushiro and Jou were just offscreen during the last scene and then this one takes place chronologically after. Tai and the others ditched them once they'd all decided to go look for food.

This is particularly weird, given how Jou will react to them finding food later in the episode.

In the original, they weren't in the scene because they'd already gotten separated. Koushiro and Jou were not privy to the hamburger depression spiral.

Jou and Koushiro leave the subway to look for the rest of the group. We're treated to an ominous and tense sequence of Jou and Koushiro hurrying down the sidewalk one way while SkullMeramon in his trenchcoat comes around the other side of the building.

As they approach collision, suddenly Jou spots the other kids. Taichi and the others are eating hamburgers in an upper floor of a building across the street, visible through a window.

Jou: AAAAAAAUGH!!! There they are! Koushiro: EHHHHHH!?!?

Against all odds and reason, despite the Digivice trackers not functioning, Jou manages to find the other kids with nothing but the notion that they're probably somewhere in Shinjuku to go off of.

(This would make way more sense if the trackers still worked. Why turn them off, show? Is it because you left a Digivice at Hikari's house during Taichi's visit and then realized that her having that would completely destroy this entire Search for the Eighth Child plotline?)

I guess his Senpai Sense told him where to go. His wards are kinda misbehaving....

In the dub, Joe and Izzy's exclusion continues to be extremely rude for reasons unknown.

Joe: Huh!? LOOK!!! THEY'RE EATING WITHOUT US!!!

Fucking jerks. They'd better have a good explanation for this.

Suddenly, Jou and Koushiro get the green light to go. Miraculously, a pair of workers carrying a large painting walk by, with the painting obscuring them from SkullMeramon as they pass in front of him. Jou and Koushiro continue on their way and SkullMeramon on his, neither aware of the other's presence.

Inside the restaurant, five of seven Chosen Children enjoy the first taste of greasy Western fast food they've had in years.

Taichi: Ahhh! Delicious! Mimi: So good! Sora: I almost forgot what this tasted like! Tsunomon: This isn't fair, Yamato! You get to eat tasty stuff like this every day! Yamato: Be a little quieter while you're eating. What if the other customers see you? Mimi: No one is paying attention to us, though.

Jou and Koushiro enter and approach their table.

Mimi: Huh? Takeru: It's Jou-san and Koushiro-san! Taichi: Hey! You guys should get something to eat too! The food's amazing! Jou: (quietly fuming) You... You guys didn't use your fare money for this, did you? Mimi: (cheerful) Yeah! We used all of it!

Jou fucking drops Gomamon on the floor and hangs his head, despondently groaning and shaking.

Sora: Sorry. We just couldn't resist the temptation of hamburgers. Jou: A-All of you... (eruption) WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU ALL THINKING!?!?

Suddenly, Jou's stomach rumbles, undermining his outburst. He slowly turns beet red, then storms off to go order food.

Jou: (furiously) I'll eat. I'll eat using ALL OF THE MONEY THAT I HAVE!!!

Guys, I think we broke Senpai.

Fujiyama was right when he tried not to let us go to Hikarigaoka. Now we're stranded in Shinjuku burning our fare money on McDonalds.

In the dub:

Mimi: I feel like a new woman! Tai: Man! Tastes great! Mimi: Yum-ilicious! Sora: Boy, I sure needed this! Tsunomon: You people are lucky! Yum yum! You get to eat this stuff every day! Matt: A little louder, why don't you? There's a couple of people that aren't staring yet. Mimi: Actually, nobody noticed yet but Matt's right, you should-- (gasps, seeing Joe and Izzy enter) Ohhh! Patamon: Uh-oh. T.K.: Joe! Izzy! Well, it's about time. Tai: Hey, what are you guys waiting for? Order something! Joe: How? When you guys have got all the money? Huh? Mimi: Whoops! We went and spent it all! Joe: (drops Gomamon, hangs head, and starts shaking) Sora: See, we were all so hungry, we ordered the super duper combos. Joe: Great. You spent it all? (eruption) THAT WAS ALL THE MONEY WE HAD IN THE WORLD!!! (Joe suddenly stops for no clear reason. He slowly turns beet red, then storms off) Joe: (muttering) Of all the dumb, greedy, selfish little things. It's unbelievable. These guys are supposed to be my friends! My friends! My friends!

Completing the dub-exclusive saga of Joe and Izzy being on Team Restaurant, it turns out he's upset in this version because they spent all the money on food for themselves and didn't get him anything. After ditching him and Izzy in the subway.

This scene is super ambiguous with regard to how malicious the other kids are being. On the "This is unapologetic bullying", we have the fact that they ditched Joe and Izzy in the subway to begin with. Why did they ditch them?

Patamon even gives out a little "Uh-oh" when Joe enters, like he's realizing they're about to be caught red-handed betraying Joe and Izzy. That "Uh-oh" is peculiar if they aren't doing anything wrong.

They just. Stole away with all the money, then burned it all on themselves and let Joe and Izzy starve. Fucking assholes. Joe's usually a target for the American group's bullying but what did Izzy do to deserve this? He's been trying to help them navigate the subway! Pricks! All of them pricks!

...part of me appreciates that Mimi gets to be on this side of the bullying for once.

But on the other hand, Tai's just like, "Hey, order food!" when he sees Joe. So. Like. It's possible they just got separated, like in the original. And also Tai somehow doesn't know they inexplicably pooled their money in this version, even though one of them has the entire money pool? I guess?

Who did we trust to carry the money pool? Because that person is still a complete fucking asshole. That kid knew they were screwing Joe and Izzy, even if the others forgot somehow. That kid should have said something when they were all ordering "super duper combos".

Probably goes without saying that I like the Senpai Meltdown version better, right? Because if they really did maliciously ditch Joe and Izzy, steal all the money, and go splurge on themselves, that is unacceptable character assassination of every single kid at this table. They would not fucking do that.

They made questionable choices in the original too, but they aren't actively hurting other members of their nakama in the process. Jou and Koushiro can still eat. This slap in the face to Joe actually made me angry.

Anyways. Moving along.

While Jou is furiously ordering his own food, Koushiro checks his Digivice to find that it's showing radar blips for everyone now.

Koushiro: The Digivice is reacting. Sora: It's because everyone's here, right? Koushiro: No. I mean, when I looked at it earlier, it wasn't reacting at all. Sora: That's strange. Koushiro: Maybe it only works at short distances in this world.

You were also in the subway when you checked it, Koushiro. We should consider the possibility that you had bad phone reception.

This is the human world. We have signal limitations. You can't coast on the fabric of reality itself being made of wifi anymore.

(This makes it even weirder that the writers turned off Digivice Tracking for the Shinjuku search then turned it back on right after they miraculously found everyone.)

Mimi: Hey, more importantly, where do we go from here? Takeru: Yeah, we don't have any money so we can't ride the trains anymore. Yamato: How do we get to Odaiba for free? Taichi: Hehehehe... Leave that to me! I have a fool-proof plan. Yamato: (curiously) Do you, now?

In the dub, Izzy's chat with Sora has no changes. T.K. brings up an idea for how to get home.

Mimi: That's great but, meanwhile, what are we going to do now? T.K.: We start walking. They won't let us back on the train without any money. Matt: I'm sure not looking forward to walking all that way. Tai: Ha! I know a way that won't cost us a penny! Just leave everything to me! Matt: (sarcastic) Oh, great. You're a genius.

I like that they discuss walking in the dub, because it is a viable option. It would suck but Shinjuku is close enough to Odaiba that we can walk if we must.

The kids are about 9 miles from home right now. It would take them probably 3-4 hours to get there, but they're now well-fed and they're all at least somewhat athletic after several months of exploring the Digimon World on foot. It would be nice if an alternative means of transit could be employed, but we should at least consider walking.

It can't be worse than Etemon's desert.

The kids head outside to put Taichi's master plan into action.

Taichi holds out his thumb to hitchhike, but the cars speed right on by.

Taichi: HEY!!! SOMEONE GIVE ME A RIDE!!!

Then he tries jumping, screaming at the top of his lungs, and flailing his limbs like a wildman for attention.

Taichi: HEY HEY HEY HEY!!! COME ON!!! LET ME IN!!! Yamato: Oh, come on. Hitchhiking in this modern day and age? Koushiro: It's not as easy as it looks on TV.

A car almost hits Taichi because he's out too far in the road. They honk angrily at him while he screams back at them.

Car: HONK HONK!!! Taichi: THAT'S DANGEROUS, YOU MORON!!! Yamato: Speak for yourself. Jou: It will take three days for Taichi to get us a ride. Koushiro: Agreed. Taichi: I'd like to see you try it, then! Jou: YEEP!!! U-Us!?

The dub cuts the shots of Taichi holding out his thumb to hitchhike. We go straight to Tai jumping and flailing his limbs.

Tai: HELP!!! POLICE!!! MY CAT IS STUCK IN A TREE IN ODAIBA AND I'VE GOT TO GET THERE RIGHT AWAY SO I CAN GET HER DOWN!!! HEY!!! Matt: The police!? That's his brilliant idea!? Izzy: If the police do stop, they'll lock him up for disturbing the peace. Car: (nearly hits Tai) HONK HONK Tai: HEY!!! I've got the right of way! Matt: (sarcastic) Looking good, Tai. Joe: Good grief. At this rate, we could be sitting here all day. Izzy: And night. Tai: THEN YOU TRY AND GET US A RIDE!!! Joe: Me!? No way! Tai: How about you, Matt!? You think you're so smart!

I'm going to guess this was edited because they didn't want children to see their heroes hitchhiking and try to copy it, or something like that. The 90's were really nervous about imitable acts on children's television.

It's the reason Spider-Man could grab a crate with his webs and smash it on a bad guy's head but was forbidden from throwing a punch. Children can't grab crates with webbing but they can throw punches, and parents thought if they saw Spider-Man punch someone, they might start punching people.

So now Tai's plan to get to Odaiba is to scream at random passing cars that he wants the police. You know, they probably had a phone back in the diner. You could call the police. On the phone.

Taichi makes Jou and Koushiro try next, in retaliation for their mockery. They both awkwardly stick out their thumbs.

Jou & Koushiro: ...y...yay?

Multiple cars speed by and honk at them. Realizing this isn't working, they both exchange uncomfortable glances, then take a deep breath.

Jou & Koushiro: Ready. Set.

And then they begin screaming at the top of their lungs and flailing their limbs like wildmen.

Jou & Koushiro: YAY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY-AY-YIIIIII!!!

And it fucking works. A car pulls up to the restaurant to let them in.

It's. Uh. It's a taxi. The taxi closes its doors a moment after, presumably after being informed they do not have money, and drives away. Jou and Koushiro hang their heads in failure while the other kids laugh.

(Still better than Taichi managed.)

Yamato takes the third attempt.

It does not go well.

Yamato takes a deep breath and slowly, reluctantly, puts out his thumb. The instant his thumb is raised, a pedophile pulls up to the curb.

Yamato: (blush) Woman: (sultry) Hi~! Come in, little boy. Yamato: (blush intensifies)

Yes, she is doing graspy fingers with that hand up there. It's incredibly uncomfortable. Cut immediately to Yamato reporting to the others, still blushing and bowing his head in embarrassment.

Taichi: WHY DID YOU SAY NO!?!? Yamato: WE COULDN'T ALL FIT IN THAT CAR!!!

Taichi and Mimi both grin and giggle at Yamato, implicitly teasing him for what they all know just happened.

Asshole behavior from the both of them but in their defense, children don't know better. They don't have the perspective to understand how fucked up that was. That's why it's the responsibility of adults to protect them from shit like this. Yamato was just accosted by a legitimate Stranger Danger.

No surprise: The dub heavily edits this scene to remove the pedophile. Matt stands there for a moment, but can't even bring himself to... do whatever he would do since we aren't hitchhiking. He just turns right around to the others in failure, with a blush of embarrassment.

Tai: I'm waiting! Matt: (turns around in surrender) Tai: NOT SO EASY, IS IT, MATT!?!? Matt: WELL, AT LEAST MY CAT'S NOT STUCK IN A TREE!!

Then Tai and Mimi grin and giggle at him, presumably entertained by his snappy comeback.

The dub then puts Izzy and Joe's attempt here, moving it to third place after Matt's. Like Tai, their initial thumb-out try is cut so their attempt at hitchhiking can be disguised as something else: They're intentionally trying to hail a taxi despite being broke.

Joe & Izzy: (deep breaths, then flailing) HEY HEY TAXI TAXI OVER HERE TAXI HEY TAXI TAXI Taxi: (pulls up) You kids want a cab? Joe & Izzy: YEAH!!! Taxi: You got any money? Joe & Izzy: ...no.

This was almost as bad an idea as hailing the police. I don't know why they thought they could take a taxi for free.

Finally, Sora and Mimi take their turn.

Sora & Mimi: Take us to Odaiba! Jou: It will definitely work this time. Koushiro: Girls are better at this. Mochimon: That's right. The men will be all over them! Koromon: Is that how it works, Taichi? Taichi: Yep!

Sure enough, a blue minivan pulls over pretty quickly. We don't hear the conversation between Sora and Mimi and the occupant of the car.

Takeru: Someone stopped! (Sora and Mimi turn towards the others and give them okay signs) Jou: Yes! It's okay! Taichi: Hehe! Piece of cake! Koromon: (awestruck) So that's how it works....

Teaching Koromon very dangerous behaviors here. We have learned nothing from Yamato's attempt.

Dub Sora and Mimi don't even get to make an attempt. The driver of the minivan is reimagined completely. The car just pulls up all of a sudden, unprompted by anything. They even edited the footage to erase Sora and Mimi with their signs from the scene of him pulling up.

Driver: Sora!? Sora: It's my cousin! Hi, Duane! Duane: Need a lift? (Sora and Mimi turn towards the others and give them okay signs) Mimi: YAAAAAY!!! Sora: Alright! Mimi: GIRL POWER!!!

Mimi, how is Sora having a cousin a triumphant moment of girl power? Why are you even over at the car?

The dub then moves the scene of the boys grossly commenting on the girls' ability to lure in vehicles to after "Duane" shows up.

T.K.: Her cousin!? Joe: What are the odds of that happening? Izzy: One in 4.2 million. Motimon: Whatever! I'm just glad we have a ride! Koromon: Excuse me, but what's a cousin? Tai: Skip it.

Just like that, the hitchhiking sequence is complete and the censors can go cry themselves to sleep in a closet somewhere for how much work that was. (Wait 'til we get to Pinocchimon.)

As the minivan makes its way, the visibly unhappy driver calls out:

Driver: Those of you in the back! Everyone in the back: Yes?

Small note: He's trying to address the boys, but Japan's frequently gender-neutral language causes a small miscommunication and Sora answers with them.

Driver: You're extras that Sora-chan and Mimi-chan brought with them. Understood? Boys: (resigned) Yes, sir. We're extras. Driver: Extras better keep quiet. Otherwise, I'll dump you on the side of the highway or something. Boys: (resigned) Yes, sir. We'll be quiet.

The car pulls up to a red light.

Driver: Would you like some candy, Mimi-chan? Mimi: Yes! Driver: (gives a candy to Mimi) You too, Sora-chan. Sora: Thank you.

As the driver passes the candy back, Pyokomon's eyes follow it. She opens her mouth, wanting, but behaves herself and doesn't say anything. Sora, seeing what Pyokomon wants, quickly feeds the candy to Pyokomon rather than eating it herself.

Taichi whispers to Sora from the back.

Taichi: (whispers) What's the deal with this guy? He pisses me off. Sora: (whispers) It can't be helped. After all, he is taking us to Odaiba. Jou: (whispers) Actually, are we sure that he's taking us to Odaiba?

Senpai coming in with the real questions now that it's too late to back out. He really shouldn't have let us do this to begin with. What would Fujiyama say, Jou? He trusted you.

In another brief near-encounter with one of Tailmon's mercenaries, Wizarmon, carrying balloons, leads a group of children over the crosswalk in front of this creep's car.

Mimi, too, feeds her candy to Palmon rather than eating it herself.

In the dub, Duane lays down the same obnoxious rules. Kinda weird that Mimi's riding shotgun in Sora's cousin's vehicle, gotta say.

Duane: Okay, here's the rules. I'm gonna say this once, so listen! Everyone in the back: Yeah? Duane: You're only here 'cause Sora's my cousin. You're like her luggage. Boys: (resigned) Yeah. We're like her luggage. Duane: And luggage doesn't make a sound. You got me? Or else it's liable to get itself thrown out of the car, right? Boys: (resigned) Right. Luggage doesn't make a sound. Duane: (to Mimi) You want some gum? Sugarless. Mimi: Sure. Duane: (gives one to Mimi) How about you, Sora? Sora: Thanks, Duane. (takes the gum and feeds it to Yokomon) Tai: (whispers) Hey, Sora, I think your cousin's a major lame-o. Sora: (whispers) He's sorta the black sheep of the family. But he's giving us a lift, so be nice. Tai: (whispers) I will! But just make sure he takes us to Odaiba.

Jou's concern about Stranger Danger running off with us is a valid thing to worry about. Not sure where Tai thinks Duane is going to take us, though.

Also, the weirdness of Mimi being up front continues. Why isn't she luggage? Is it for creepy reasons? I bet it's for creepy reasons.

While Tailmon's mercenaries continue expanding their search of Tokyo, PicoDevimon rides the ferry and complains.

PicoDevimon: Vamdemon-sama's always beating and shouting at me. It won't get better unless I can achieve something soon. Where could that kid be?

Over in the dub, he's having a crisis.

DemiDevimon: How did I ever get into this!? Knocking myself out searching for some pipsqueak kid! I've got half a mind to chuck this whole lousy job! But... The master might not like that....

I feel DemiDevimon. This job sucks. Aimlessly wandering around the city hoping to stumble onto a person is the worst way to find someone. The Eighth Child is a needle in a haystack. A haystack that is hostile to discovery of your true identity.

So. Like. A haystack full of bees. And fourteen wasps.

In the car, the nameless driver blasts deafening music. Mimi tries to get his attention.

Mimi: E-Excuse me, Onii-san! Driver: (head banging to the music) Mimi: ONII-SAN!!! Driver: Eh? Did you say something? Mimi: COULD YOU PLEASE TURN DOWN THE VOLUME!!! Driver: Eh? What did you say? Mimi: VOLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUME!!! Driver: Bathroom? You need to go? Mimi: THAT IS NOT WHAT I SAAAAAAAAAAAID!!!

In Japan, it's common to use respectful familial terms like onii-san to address older people. By addressing the driver as Onii-san, Mimi is respectfully addressing him as an older man, but not so much older that otosan (father) or ojisan (grandfather) would be more appropriate.

Before this argument can continue, the driver's music is interrupted by a news broadcast.

Reporter: We interrupt this broadcast for important news. A few hours ago in the Nerima district, a bombing occurred near the housing complexes of Hikarigaoka. This may have been responsible for putting telephones, wires, and optical cables in Hikarigaoka into temporary disservice. Investigations are underway in the local area. We will bring you a news update if anything is uncovered. In other news, unconfirmed sources have insisted that an elephant and a huge bird were witnessed at the scene of the crime. Investigation into these claims is also currently underway. Driver: Whoa! An elephant! Freaky. It must have escaped the zoo! Hehe! Reporter: There is some speculation that this incident may be related to the terrorist bombing that occurred four years ago in Hikarigaoka. To those just tuning in, a few hours ago in the Nerima district, a bombing occurred near the housing complexes of Hikarigaoka....

Haha. Hahaha. Hahahahaha we are wanted fugitives that's great.

In the dub, Duane calls Mimi "babe", confirming that she's up front for creepy reasons.

Mimi: Excuse me! Do you mind? Duane: (head banging to the music) Mimi: EXCUSE ME!!! Duane: Oh, what's up, babe? Mimi: THE RADIO'S KIND OF LOUD!!! Duane: The tunes are kinda what!? Mimi: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOUD!!! Duane: The radio? It's too loud? Mimi: MAYBE JUST A LITTLE!!! (news report interrupts) Reporter: And now for a news update. Officials have yet to find a clear explanation for the devastating explosion that rocked the Highton View Terrace apartments in the Nerima district earlier today. Power in the area is still out and the injured are still being counted after the bizarre incident. While official sources have offered no further information, there are reports of several eyewitness accounts. However, these accounts have only served to further mystify investigators. The details of their accounts differ but several of these eyewitnesses agree that an elephant and something described as a giant firebird were seen in the vicinity. Duane: (laughing) A giant WHAT!?!? Firebird!? Hehe, you gotta love the crazies in this town, HAHAHA!!! Reporter: When asked about the accounts, officials would give no comment. A similar incident took place at the Highton View Terrace Apartments four years ago. It's unknown if there is any connection between the two.

Mostly the same, but of note: This is actually darker in the dub. The dub blames the electrical chaos in Hikarigaoka on Mammon which isn't entirely wrong. The original instead talks about a power outage and "still counting the injured", meaning there were a lot of human casualties from the fighting between Mammon and Birdramon/Garudamon.

According to the dub, while we were drifting in and out of OVA flashbacks, people were exploding and being crushed by debris offscreen.

You know, it's funny the driver mentions going to the bathroom because Koromon suddenly has an emergency right there in the car. Taichi manages to dodge aside just before Koromon would have shit on his lap, causing it to hit the seats instead.

Driver pulls over and everyone evacuates immediately to escape the smell.

Jou: GAAAH IT STINKS!!! Driver: (furious) ...you bastards... WHO THE HELL JUST TOOK A DUMP INSIDE MY BELOVED CAR!?!? Taichi: ...sorry, I-- Sora: ME!!! IT WAS ME!!!

Sora takes the fall for Koromon, likely realizing that the guy isn't going to treat her the way he would one of the "extras".

Her lie is terrible, of course. She was in the passenger side of the second row, while Koromon pooped in the center seat of the back row. It's actually quite impressive, given that Taichi was in the back row passenger side and jerked away towards the center, which would push Koromon towards the door. But Jou was sitting in the center seat there.

In order to make this happen, Koromon would have had to leap for it, hurdling Taichi to dive-bomb projectile-shit at Jou, who clearly scrambled out of the way as Koromon deposited right between his legs. I take it back, this is way worse than ditching Joe at lunch.

I guess he panicked and was hoping Senpai would take care of it.

In any case, Driver takes a moment to process the claim that a girl like Sora would do something so vulgar.

Sora: I'm so sorry. I'll be sure to clean up all of it! Driver: ...LIAR!!! I know you'd never do something like that, Sora-chan! The one sitting in the back was... you, right!?

The driver correctly identifies Jou as the occupant of that seat.

Jou: Eep!? Driver: Don't try and fool me with that nice guy face of yours!

The driver grabs Jou angrily by the his collar. Koushiro tries to pull him off.

Koushiro: Please stop! Driver: SHUT UP!!!

The driver backhands Koushiro away, sending him stumbling back into the barricade. Both barricade and Koushiro go over the edge, plunging off the bridge.

In a subtle moment of characterization, despite being in the clutches of this (rightfully angry but still) asshole, Jou-senpai is more concerned with Koushiro's wellbeing than his own. His eyes are on Koushiro after the backhand, and he screams when Koushiro goes over the edge.

The dub, for once, lets a poop be a poop. They don't even edit out the onscreen shot of it. I guess there was no way they were going to be able to claim it was hair gel or whatever.

Duane: WHOA!!! WHAT IS THAT!?!? Tai: Koromon, you couldn't wait!? Duane: Okay, who did it!? HUH!?!? WHICH ONE OF YOU MADE A MESS ON MY NEW SEAT COVERS!?!? Tai: ...I'm sorry, I-- Sora: RIGHT HERE!!! I'm the one! Duane: Huh? Sora: I'll clean it up. I'll even detail it for ya! Duane: ...RARGH!!! Don't try covering up for these losers! Which one of 'em was it!? (Driver looks around, then spots Joe) Duane: YOU!!! Mr. Peepers! IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT!?!? Izzy: Hey, let him go! He didn't d-- Duane: Back off! (backhand)

Sora trying to take the fall works just as well for Cousin Duane as it does with the creep who wanted to be alone with minor girls. The sentiment is pretty similar: She knows he won't lash out at her the way he would the others, so she steps up to try and de-escalate.

They did cut out the driver's reasoning for blaming Jou, though. Duane just seems to select him arbitrarily.

They also put another well-timed commercial break in right as Izzy goes over. Once again, good spot for a cliffhanger..

As Koushiro goes over the edge, Motimon suddenly evolves into Tentomon to catch him by the ankle. Trying with all his might to lift Koushiro. Unfortunately, something else is lurking in the river, which notices the Chosen Child suspended in the air.

Tentomon: (catch) Koushiro: Tentomon! (They drop a foot sharply) Tentomon: Ack! Heavy.... (Gesomon explodes from the water) Tentomon: IT'S GESOMON!!! Koushiro: Gesomon!?

Gesomon is an Adult-stage Virus-type Mollusk Digimon. Their name comes from the Japanese word gesou, which are the tentacles of a squid.

Gesomon is not a Nightmare Soldier. They're from the Deep Savers line; One of the few non-Nightmare Soldier's we'll be facing in the Tokyo sub-arc.

Narrator: Gesomon. A Mollusk-type Virus Digimon. Their special attack, Deadly Shade, paralyzes their enemies! Driver: AHHHH!!! A SQUID BAKEMONO!!! (runs away) Gomamon: I can handle ocean Digimon!

Remember bakemono, shapeshifting yokai who impersonate people, animals, and objects? The driver accuses Gesomon of being a bakemono in the guise of a squid. Which. Isn't that far off, really.

In the dub, Tentomon quips about Izzy's weight.

Tentomon: I've got you, Izzy! (catch) Izzy: WAAAAAUGH!!! Thanks, Tento! (They drop a foot sharply) Tentomon: Eugh, you had to have that extra side of chili fries, didn't you? Izzy: Hey, what's that!? (Gesomon explodes from the water) Tentomon: Yow, it's Gesomon! Izzy: It's what!? Tentomon: (rundown) Gesomon. Take a bit of everything nasty that lives underwater, stick them together, and that's him. Duane: YOU KIDS ARE ON YOUR OWN!!! (runs away) Gomamon: Good riddance! You were a lousy driver anyway!

Izzy didn't get to eat chili fries. He and Joe went hungry. I have no idea what Tentomon is talking about. Unless they were lying to Joe about spending all the money and then bought Izzy a meal after Joe left? I guess that's what happened.

Man, this dub plot point just gets worse and worse.

Gomamon hits the water and evolves into Ikkakumon.

Driver: AHHHHHHHHHH THERE'S ANOTHER ONE!!!

While creepy driver offscreen becomes the next person to shit himself, Ikkakumon attacks, bashing Gesomon back with a headbutt. Gesomon tries to slap one of their tentacles down from above. Ikkakumon sidesteps, then fires a Harpoon Vulcan point-blank through another of Gesomon's tentacles. The missile penetrates Gesomon's claw and detonates, blowing the limb to shreds.

In the dub, Duane bailed much more concretely than Driver so he doesn't get to scream and cry about Ikkakumon's arrival. What we get is a line from Tentomon while he and Izzy flutter offscreen.

Tentomon: I think we'll just get out of the way!

Like Mammon, Gesomon is one of those bestial Digimon that doesn't speak, but the dub lets him nonetheless call attacks in English. When he tries to slam his tentacle down on Ikkakumon, he calls it "Coral Crusher".

This extremely public kaiju brawl draws spectators.

A crowd gathers around the Chosen Children on the bridge.

Bystander 1: Senpai, look at that! Bystander 2: Are those kaiju!? No way! Bystander 3: Dad, get the camcorder! HURRY!!! Bystander 4: They're pretty well made. Bystander 5: Do you think they're real? Bystander 4: That's impossible. This must be some kind of event.

Meanwhile, in a nearby cafe on an upper floor of a building, three girls have a bird's-eye vantage of the kaiju brawling in the river.

Girl 1: It's so annoyi-- Girl 2: EH!?!? WHAT IS THAT!?!? Girl 3: Awww, they're so cute!

At a rest stop, one salaryman gets a drink from a vending machine while another reclines on a bench; The fight raging behind him. The first salaryman suddenly sees the fighting and stops in his tracks.

Salaryman 2: What's wrong? Salaryman 1: (sigh) I can't even. (drink)

I guess this is happening now.

XD That salaryman is the entire vibe of my generation.

In the dub, it's ads.

Bystander 1: HOLY COW!!! WHAT'S GOING ON!?!? Bystander 2: They must be advertising something! Bystander 3: Advertising something!? Get out of here! Bystander 4: Maybe they're shooting a movie! Bystander 3: I don't see any cameras! Bystander 4: Oh well. Maybe they're just rehearsing.

Bystander 3, get out of here with your naysaying. Also, Bystander 2 was ahead of his time. Modern-day Digimon would stop what they're doing every five minutes to tell you about Surfshark.

Girl 1: And so then do you know what he said? Girl 2: OH! WHAT'S THAT!?!? Girl 3: What's going on over there!?

And Zero Fucks Salaryman remains a legend.

Salaryman 1: Rough day at work, huh? Salaryman 2: Eh, you know. Same old, same old. (drink)

Finally, Ikkakumon strikes the killing blow: Stabbing Gesomon straight through the head with his horn and driving him down into the water. We're spared any shots of impalement, as Gesomon implicitly dissolves into pixel dust offscreen after being submerged.

Since Gesomon dies underwater, the bystanders are also spared from having to see that. The only confirmation of Gesomon's death is that the fight music dies down and Gesomon's counterfeit Crest is seen floating down the river.

(Another Digimerc isn't going home.)

Bystander: (disappointed) What the hell? It's already over!? Driver: ...oh, right! The kids!

Too late for him, the kids are already gone. I guess he'll have to clean Koromon's poop out of his car by himself.

(Honestly, probably for the best. I'm not saying it's good that we pooped in his car, but Mr. "You're all just Sora-chan and Mimi-chan's luggage!" did not have good intentions and was probably going to pull some dudebro shit when we got to Odaiba. So bailing on him in the chaos is a good idea.)

The dub adds a silence-breaker when Ikkakumon stabs Gesomon.

Bystander 1: My money's on the big hairy one!

Then, after Gesomon's implied disintegration:

Bystander 1: (same as the previous comment) Aww, they're gone. Too bad! Bystander 2: Man, did you guys see that? Duane: Sora? HEY, SORA!!! Where'd all those kids go!?

Dub Sora is not so lucky as original Sora, as she will most certainly get an earful from furious relatives over the poop we left in Duane's car.

With new transportation options opened up, the children tie logs to Ikkakumon and swim to Odaiba. It's Jou's Digimon so he gets the seat of honor. Sora and Mimi get to ride on Ikkakumon's back while the boys take the logs.

Sexist, but they were the ones who got us this far by putting up with being leered at by a pervert. If we'd gone with the convertible lady then maybe Yamato could be on Ikkakumon's back.

Yamato: We drew a big crowd back there.... Taichi: Couldn't be helped. Oh, well! It'll all work out. Jou: Set course to Odaiba. LAUNCH!!! Narrator: And so the Children made their way safely to Odaiba. However....

PicoDevimon: I've found you. I must inform Vamdemon-sama right away! (flies off) Narrator: Where could the Eighth Chosen Child be? Vamdemon's night draws closer.

Yeah, those skies are looking pretty sunset-y. We close on the ominous reminder that Vamdemon will be loosed upon Tokyo soon.

In the dub:

Matt: Well, so much for keeping a low profile. Tai: At least we got away from Lame Duane and we're all in one piece! Joe: Nice work, Ikkakumon. You NAAAAAAILED him! Ikkakumon: RAAARHAHAAAA!!! Tai: Anyway, wouldn't you rather travel in the fresh air than under the ground in that subway? Sora: Oh, yeah! This is great! Tai: And best of all, it's free!

Since Tai and Sora are filling space where the Narrator should be talking, they have to play a really noticeable game of "Only speak when the camera isn't on you". The camera is on Sora and Mimi for Tai's subway line. Then Sora speaks when it shifts to Tai, Matt, and T.K. And then Tai starts talking again as soon as it moves to Izzy.

DemiDevimon: Here's good news! Now that they've shown themselves, we can finally take care of them! (flies off) Tai: Next stop: HOME!!! Kids: YEAH!! WOOHOO!! WE'RE GOING HOME!!! Mimi: Does anybody have something to eat? Tai: Ugh, Mimi, not that again! Mimi: I was just asking!

The episode closes on one last Mimi gag for good measure.

Assessment: The hitchhiking portion of this episode made me feel my age. Watching these children get sexually harassed by people old enough to drive is deeply uncomfortable. But creeps like the ones these kids ran into are a genuine peril of attempting this.

The dub censored that sequence heavily because, I guess, they don't want kids to try doing what the Chosen Children were doing. But the original sequence goes to great lengths to examine the perils of what the Chosen Children were doing. Yeah, we don't want children hitchhiking, here's why.

In fact, points from me for pointing out that boys can be victimized by predatory adults too. It's not just something that happens to girls. Both Yamato and Sora/Mimi get preyed on by exactly the kind of people who would eagerly pick up isolated 11/10-year-olds off the side of the road, though Yamato gets it much more directly.

This was a terrible idea that Taichi had.

The dub, meanwhile, was very polarized. This episode's dub has high highs and low lows. Some fantastic dubbing and even a scene that's improved on the original one minute, and then total dipshittery the next.

This is the meanest episode to Joe and Mimi that the show's been yet. Mimi got it in quantity but Joe got the fucking "Ditch Joe and go eat" bit. A bit which wound up becoming a plot hole later on when Tentomon clearly mentions Izzy eating.

...wait a second, why can Dub Gomamon evolve? Shouldn't he also be starv-- Holy shit, did they feed Gomamon too? Joe did drop him in the diner before storming out. It really was just Joe that they screwed?