#but he's got an appetite for fucking your ex

[winepresswrath]

djenks does not feel like he's writing specifically for my 17 year old self the way tamsyn muir or nd stevenson do but he does fall into the category of writers i trust to mostly share my sensibilities and interests and have something interesting to say about the project of being a person. tbh while i think it is actively good and healthy to read and watch things that are not the product of people who share my sensibilities and interests there is something really enjoyable about that trust fall. call it clown to clown communication or recognition of communal experiences in art but it's nice it's good. parasocial high fives all around.

[kpop---scenarios]

Charmer (3)

Pairing: Lee Know x Reader x Surprise!

Genre: FWB, EX FWB, Semi Enemies to Lovers

Warning: Small smut & stuff.. [18+ ONLY. MINORS DO NOT READ]

Word Count: 1.6k

Taglist: @oddracha @iovecb97 @katsukis1wife @stay-tiny-things @rubytakemyhandx23 @hyunjinhoexxx @iikxstcenn @beebee18 @kissesmellow21 @skzooluvr @felixthemochicat @imperfectlyperfectprincess1 @yaorzu-blog @jisunglyricist @lunearta

@gloriajovicc @jiminssluttyminx

One | Two

“Baby.” Minho whispers as he walks into your room. You sit up in your bed, tears stained on your cheeks and shirt. “Were you crying?” He asks, placing his fingers under your chin to lift your head. You stare at him with blood shot eyes as you sniffle.

“I was.” You whisper.

“Why?” He asks.

“You didn't break up with her.” You whisper again. “You told me you did. But you looked directly at me while you announced your girlfriend.”

“Don't cry about that, Kitten.” He smiles. “I'm here now, let me take care of you.” He finishes, leaning into you, pressing his lips to yours. You should have pushed him off and told him no. But instead you melted into the kiss and pulled him onto the bed with you. He lays between your legs, his body pinning you to the bed as his hands roam down to your legs and back up. He slides his hand up your pj dress, feeling the heat radiating from your cunt.

“Always so needy for me.” He chuckles, sitting up to unbuckle his pants, pulling his cock out. “It's gonna have to be quick tonight.” He says, as he pushes himself into you. You wrap your legs around his waist as he grunts loudly, thrusting into you harder. He drops his head, kissing your shoulder and then your neck before he bites your shoulder, making you gasp, bucking your hips into his movements. “Oh fuck.” You cry out as he slams into you, breathing heavily on top of you, focusing on thrusting as hard as he can into you. Your hands move under his shirt digging your nails into his back as he cums, spilling his seed inside you. He pulls out of you, tucking himself back into his jeans before standing up, fixing his hair.

“I didn't even cum?” You say.

“I'm sorry kitten, like I said, it had to be quick. I'll call you, Kay?” He smiles, ruffling your hair as he walks out of your room and out of your apartment, slamming the door shut behind him. You roll out of bed, heading to your shower feeling even worse than you did before he had come over.

Once your shower was done, you crawled back into your bed, sobbing yourself to sleep.

The next morning you're up early and ready to go for the day. You were meeting Jeongin and Jihyo at this cute little breakfast Cafe before your first morning class. You slide into your chair as Jeongin is in the middle of a story. He glances at you and smiles, turning back to Jihyo before whipping his head back to look at you, his eyes trailing down to your bare shoulder.

“Y/N.” He says. “What is that?” He asks, pointing to your shoulder.

“I.. um.” You pause.

“You didn't.. Y/N. Please tell me you didn't.” Jihyo gasps.

“Didn't what?” You ask, trying to act like you didn't know what they were about to say.

“You let him back in, didn't you?” Jihyo asks.

Your head drops, you look down at the ground, hearing the sound of a chair scratch against the floor. You look up, only to see Jeongin standing there, glaring at you. "Why would you do that, y/n? Like come on." He sighs, walking out, leaving his uneaten breakfast sitting on the table.

Jihyo sits there, just staring at you, while you look around uncomfortably to try and make sure no one had noticed the commotion at the table.

Jihyo leans in to whisper. "You can't be that stupid, y/n?”

You can feel a lump in your throat get bigger and your nose start to sting. The breakfast you’d long lost your appetite for got blurry, until finally, tears slipped from your eyes, rolling down your cheek. "You don't understand." You cry. "He does love me.. he just needs time to say it.”

“Yn..,” Jihyo whispered back, “If he loved you, he would tell the world wouldn’t he? I’m gonna hold your hand when I say this, because I love you. But, you’re not his girlfriend. You’re not his love. People who love you want to tell others how they love you. They show it.. everyday.”

"He shows it!" You snap, ripping your hand away. "Just because you don't see when he shows it doesn't mean it's not real. He's shy, he shows me when we're alone. He's just using Jennie to make me jealous." You scoff.

“Will you listen to yourself? Do you hear what you just said? Make you jealous?” Jihyo almost yells. “Yn…. No one should ever want to make you jealous. They should want to make you secure.”

"Then why does he keep texting me at night? If he didn't love me he wouldn't want to see me at all.” You say. He loves you. You knew he did. You thought.. well you hoped he did.

“Y/N.. babe, no. That’s not true. He does it because he knows he's got you wrapped around his finger. And because it’s a game to him. He wants to see how far he can push you for his own sick pleasure.” Jihyo says, getting up from the other side of the table to scoot in next to you on your side of the booth. “He’s always testing you. And you always pass because you give him what he wants - complete access to you and your body. For how long though? What happens when he gets bored?”

"It's been over two years." You laugh. "If he was gonna get bored he would have already. Not to mention he keeps coming back to me when he has Jennie. Why's that, huh? Because he loves me. He's just afraid to show it.”

“Afraid of what?.” She asks.

"He's afraid of admitting his feelings for me.. that's all. Because when he does it becomes real.” You whisper.

“But he can admit them to Jennie and a roomful of people?” She says. “I want you to know I love you. Jeongin and I, love you. But you have got to love yourself too. This isn’t healthy. He is not healthy for you.”

"I just.. Why can't he love me? Why can't he treat me the same way he treats her? What's so wrong with me that I can't be loved by anyone?” You cry, burying your face in your hands.

“It’s not you. It's never you!” You felt Jihyo’s arms pull you into her chest as your tears break free.

“I don’t know what or who made you feel like you’re worth nothing more than your body but you are so much more than that. I promise you.” She cries with you, holding you tighter and closer to her as you sob into her.

“What do I do, Ji?” You ask, sitting up while you wipe your tears.

“First, block his number.” She begins. “Next, therapist.”

You chuckle.

“You laugh, but I'm telling you, it'll do wonders for you.” She smiles. “And when you're ready, I have the perfect person to set you up on a date with.”

You nod your head before laying it on her shoulder. You ignored the stares from the other diners as she soothes you while you try to breathe through your emotions. You knew you needed to be done with Minho. You weren't sure if you even believed the words that came out of your mouth to defend him. But he could be just so charming, and you fell for it everytime. The charmer who was the devil in disguise.

It was weird. It had been a week since you had blocked Minho's number, and you missed him beyond words. You missed everything about him, and you needed something, or someone to finally fill that void for you, which was why you were currently getting ready for a date with the guy Jihyo wanted to set you up with. She had told you he was very attractive, funny, sweet and would not treat you how Minho has. You were nervous, in the last two years a bit, you hadn't been with anyone else other than Minho, even in your off stages, you still remained faithful to him, which you're realizing was a giant mistake on your part. As you finish doing your last few touches, you leave your apartment, hailing a cab to meet him at the restaurant.

You walk in, glancing around at all the couples sitting there, enjoying their night but you have yet to see anyone sitting by themselves.

“Can I help you?” The hostess asks.

“I'm meeting someone..um my name is Y/N.” You say.

Her face perks up. “Right this way please, the other party has already arrived.” She smiles, leading you to a table by the windows, with an extremely attractive man sitting there. Your jaw almost dropped at the sight of him, Jihyo didn't tell you his face was model like?

“Y/N?” He asks, standing up to greet you.

“Hi, yes.” You smile, sitting down in the chair he offers you. “Chris, right?”

“Yeah! Or you can call me Chan. Most people do.” He chuckles.

“Well it's nice to meet you Chan.” You grin. you feel like you can't take your eyes off of him.

Holy fuck.

“It’s very nice to meet you, Y/N. I have to admit, Jihyo told me you were pretty but..” he pauses.

Your stomach drops. You're not his type, are you?

“You're absolutely stunning. She severely down-played you.” He says, his eyes beginning to redden from giving you such a compliment.

You cover your face, trying to hide your giggle and the blush that spreads across your face. “Well.” You begin. “She definitely down-played you as well.” You smile.

The rest of the night, neither of you can take your eyes off of each other, and for once, you're finally not thinking of..whatever his name is.

[v7lgar]

Mayhaps james walking in on barty eating reg out

NSFW | 658 words | tw: cheating

James knew whatever happened between Barty and Regulus, it didn't end when he and Regulus started dating.

It wasn't that he didn't trust Regulus, it was because he knew Barty. He knew Barty was addictive, he had been there.

Before Barty and Regulus, it was James and Barty.

But yeah, he couldn't blame Regulus for that, because he got it, he really did. It was hard to resist him. He wasn't even sure he properly got over Barty, that topic was more like a deep-buried subject.

So it wasn't unexpected when he walked on them.

They didn't notice him at first, they were busy enough to not notice.

Regulus was in his Quidditch uniform, and that was the only thing covering his body. His legs were spread and Barty was between his legs, and by the sound of it, he was having a delicious meal.

“Fuck— your tongue,” he heard Regulus’ loud moan, they weren't even trying to keep it secretive.

As far as he could see, Barty was eating him out, and James was familiar with what his tongue could do to a man.

“I want it, I need your fingers in me too, oh fuck—”

Regulus arched while grabbing Barty’s messy brown hair and pushed him onto his pussy. James took a step towards them, not hiding behind the door anymore.

He couldn't see if Barty did what Regulus asked, he was nearly controlling himself, he took further steps until they noticed his presence.

“Well, well,” he said in a mocking tone, “Bon appetit, Barty.”

Regulus and Barty looked at him at the same time, he could read from their expressions that they didn't even consider getting caught, and that made him laugh.

“Fuck, James—” Regulus began, but Barty cut him off, “Wanna join?” he offered to James before diving into Regulus’ pussy like what they were doing wasn't wrong.

James got closer to them and Regulus wasn't even trying to not moan, whatever Barty was doing, it was good.

James didn't answer, instead, he got on the bed right next to where Regulus was laying his head on the pillow and he started unzipping his pants.

Barty lifted his head from eating Regulus’ pussy, “Oh, so you are gonna join. Didn't see that coming.”

James didn't take his eyes off of him as he got his half-hard cock out and he stroked himself from base to the top. He was getting harder and harder just looking at his boyfriend getting eaten out by his ex-fuckbuddy and he wasn't even going to deny that what he witnessed was hot as fuck.

“Open your mouth,” James ordered and Regulus slowly parted his lips, he was ready to take him in his mouth, maybe he was as starving as Barty.

“Fuck, I'm sure I saw this exact moment in my dreams.”

James ignored Barty and shoved his cock into Regulus’ hot mouth, lips wrapping against his dick. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, he dipped his fingers in his hair to control his mouth.

Regulus grabbed him by his balls as James liked and opened his mouth wider, James was thick and even though Regulus could take him all inside, it was still a bit hard at first.

He watched how Barty was sucking his boyfriend's pretty pussy, he could see how wet he was from Barty’s mouth area. It was all over him, and he also could see clear that Barty was three fingers in him, fucking his cunt with them as he sucked him off.

James couldn't decide which one was more arousing, seeing his exes going at it or watching them while getting sucked off by his pretty-cheating boyfriend.

Well, he had enough time to decide.

He grabbed Regulus from the roots of his hair and slammed his cock down his throat, fucking it fast.

He wanted to show them what he got, and then leave them for good.

[jjongswannabebae]

Making out with an old friend. < jay x fem!reader, suggestive 16+, mentions of food. note: don't know what this is, enjoy the word dump. not proofread >

Never had you thought you'd see your bestfriend, smug and clad in black, biting away at his breakfast first thing in the morning.

Jay. His eyes watched your groggy movements, comprehending the situation. You found his staring you up and down given your attire

"Jay?!" You exasperated, heads turn towards you, the embarassment of your shabby appearance in nothing but a tank top and shorts had you to spinning on your heel and up to your room, feeling the heat of his gaze on you.

Opting to layer a shirt over the top, you keep the shorts on, lowering them but and drawing the strings. You went down and weren't very excited to say the least. A little notice would've done you good.

After several years of his absence he showed up on the day you least expect. Just one random day of summer break where you got up awfully late, the previous night gone in alcohol and the likes, mind hazed from breaking up with your now ex.

Maybe the excitement of seeing him again brought heat to your cheeks or just naturally felt very attracted to him. The goofy kid now reminiscent in his strong image.

Your first sight down the stairs after you'd awoken with a throbbing headache was a hot guy seated beside two other familiar faces, opposite your parents.

You kept your eyes on your plate, slowly munching away at your toast. His family decided to move back and dropped by for breakfast to share the news, completely unannounced.

Well, actually, you were the only one who didn't know.

Your appetite was nonexistent, not when jay sat there, laughing and smiling war to eat at your parents, cracking little jokes. He spoke of his being till now, not sparing you a single glance. That frustrated you.

You never had any tension with him back when you both were kids. But things were different now. He's a grown man, an adult, and admittedly very appealing to eye.

Your eyes drifted to his hands, veins popping as he fiddled with his fork on the plate. Your gaze travelled up his hand to arm, fixating on his biceps, then to his chest popping out, up his neck, seeing a faint bruise to the right of his nape, interesting. Your eyes shifted up to his face, to his pink lips, holding no expression.

Wait.

You quickly looked up to his pupils only to find a hard stare looking right back at you, you own reflection visible in his own, masking a cold poker face as the parents chatted on.

Flustered you were caught devouring him up, you gulped harshly, choking on your saliva, heaving your chest up and down. Jay handed a glass of water, you gulped it down, setting it down on table a avoiding his dominating gaze.

Fuck.

He's become a problem.

You needed to handle him, needed to have him.

You picked away at your plate, determining to keep a cool face.

Breakfast passed, you went back up to your room, peeled your shirt off, layered on your tank top. You settle on your bed, pondering on jay. A little flustered you needed him so bad, so desperate.

Your thoughts broke off at a knock on your door. You assumed it was him, jay.

You swung open the door, you open hair falling behind your shoulder, exposing your front left bare by the top, observing as his eyes drifted down and up your figure scarcely as he smiled lazily at you, letting himself in your room.

"Darling," he starts, musing some nickname for you. "That's new, babe" you play back, leaning back on your door, crossing your leg over the other.

Jay made himself comfortable on your bed, chattering away on how catching up was essential. You listened to him speak, returned a few words as the words fell from your mouth naturally.

You sat side by side, your leg pressed by his as you relaxed into the conversation.

Gradually, a silence fell, and you bore our eyes at his face. Your hand reaching up to a stray hair strand obscuring his line of sight, pushing it back and cupping his face.

You palm his cheek, batting your eyes periodically. Moments lasted in utter silence. Your openly stared at him, down his neck, stopping at the bruise on the right side of his nape.

Your fingers grazed over the area, ab array of goosebumps eliciting on jays skin. He shifted closer, "curious, much," he attempted to shrug off the tension. He watched you not anticipating you to lean forward and bite on his skin, sucking a bit before it turned red, your hand gripping onto his shoulder.

Surprised, his arm shoot to your waist, steadying your weight on him. You pulled back after a few seconds, facing him innocently, like you hadn't just left a barely visible hickey on his neck.

Your eyes lustful, his eyes dragging down your heaving chest, sight down the valley of chest and back up to your face, grabbing you by the hips and mounting you kn his lap, where he fixed his mouth onto yours.

Raw emotion expressed by the aggressive meeting of your lips with his. You shook as his place his cold hand to your back, index finger up your spine. Your hand slid into his shirt, another held his hair, titling your head to the side as you made out, hungrily.

You swiveled your tongue around his, lips smacking making loud sounds, least bothered whether you'd get caught.

You pulled back, in urgent need of air.

You demounted off his lap, harshly turning the door lock to the side, practically leaping back on his lap, taking in his sluttry expression before joining your lips with his again.

No words said, just desperate.

"Saw you eyeing me up his morning," hay utters inbetween, grabbing into your thighs, pulling you closer.

"Could say the same about you," you say, feeling the heat head to your cheeks when you saw jay look you up and down your legs to your chest. "Can't blame me now, you looked so disshelved and pretty,"

You whine against his mouth lifting him his leg pressing to his core as you hoist yourself higher, kissing him from a higher angle, both hands shamelessly down his shirt.

"Enough talking," you breathe onto him, resting your weight against him, pressing your entire body onto him, one hand snaking around his bare waist, you feel the heavy tension hanging over the air and observer his swollen, pink lips jutted at you. You give him a small peck and utter, "do me."

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Carpe Noctem 7

Warnings: dark elements, noncon, age gap, gaslighting, manipulatin, other dark elements. Proceed with caution. (short!reader)

Note: Please let me know what you think as it helps me a lot with ideas and I love interacting with you all.

Part of The Club AU

You make yourself leave the bathroom, the smell of maple greeting you as Lloyd sets out the cardboard containers at the end of the bed. There's not much in the room besides the bed and television. He smirks as you elude his gaze.

"So, you a waffle girl–"

You take a container without concern for the contents and catch the plastic-wrapped cutlery as it rolls off the top. You turn your back to him and sit on the side of the bed. He sighs, his soles shifting as he slowly struts around the corner.

You flip open the box, balancing it on your lap as you open the fork and knife. You juggle awkwardly to pour the container of maple syrup over the French toast. He looms over you, a hand in the pocket of his powder blue pants.

"You put some ice on that?" He points to your cheek.

"I'm fine," you insist and cut into the eggy bread, "please, just say whatever little speech you have prepared and go."

He walks in front of you and clears his throat. He tugs on his pants before he sits beside you. You scarf down a mouthful, trying to focus on the food over him.

"You really gonna go back to a jackass who would do that to your pretty face?" He leans back on his arm, his shoulder behind yours. Too close for comfort.

"So you came to gloat?" You scoff.

"I came to repay the favour and let me make it clear, I don't do that shit. Favours, what the fuck ever. But baby, most women would left me stewing in that gin–"

"I should have," you scowl.

"But you didn't," he leans his shoulder into yours, "so the least I can do is offer you a place in your time of need."

"Uh huh, you seem like the generous type," you poke at a piece of crust.

"I brought you breakfast," he intones. You look at him sharply and he snickers, "alright, it doesn't come without some… terms."

"Terms?" You frown.

"Look, I don't do that pining bullshit. Sexual tension makes my balls ache, they fill up like pendulums and I can't walk straight–"

"You're disgusting."

"Sure am," he pulls his arm out from behind you and leans his elbows on his legs, "but I'm not gonna lie to your face then bash it in. I just want a little tit…" he looks you up and down, "for tat."

"Ew."

"Don't think of it too deep. We both got needs, even if you can't see it now but I know for a fact you haven't been fucked the way you should and I can do just that. Plus give you a nice room of your own and a place to get away from that man child you call an ex."

"Ex? We didn't–"

"Ugh, don't make me say all that sappy shit but you… don't… he doesn't… deserve… whatever. You know that old cliche."

"Wow, very moving," you close up the box, your appetite shriveled.

You get up, trying to make space between you and him. You put the box down and brace your hips.

"You got your work and life, I got mine. I'm just looking for some stress relief at the end of the day. It's nothing serious. Fuck, high five, go on our way."

You chew your lip. You don't even want to acknowledge the offer. It's gross and slimy. Just like him.

"And I'll help you get your shit from the dickless fuck before he destroys it. Make sure he doesn't go for round two on your mug."

You huff, blowing out air until your lungs thrum. You shake your head. You can't really be considering this.

You could call the twins and… they live with their parents still. Coworkers… they all have kids and families… your mother lives in a totally different city and you can barely be in the same room for more than an hour before you're ready to bawl.

Shit. Shit. Shit.

"Right," he pulls out his phone, "I'm looking at listings. Nice bachelor for, hm, 2400 a month. Good deal. Oh if you want a one bedroom that'll be another three hundred…"

"Stop. Stop," you face him, "I get it. Okay. I fucking…" you flinch and touch your cheek as it throbs, "I get it."

"Aw, baby face," he stands and nears you, surprising you as he nears and cradles your chin, "you just wait until I meet this fuckboy."

You look at him, defeated. You can't say it. You can't admit it. You're at a dead end and he's the only way out.

"Nah, you don't gotta say it… yet. But we both know the facts. So, you get your stuff, check out, and we'll do this step by step."

He spins and goes to the bed, scooping up your cell phone. You follow him as he keys into the screen and you try to take it from him. He keeps it out of your grasp and grins triumphantly.

"Alright, so my address is in there," he throws it onto the pillow, "I'll meet you there. Also, key code is on there too. Let yourself in."

"What? Where–"

"I got business, we'll debrief later," he winks at you, "in a manner of speaking."

[absolutebl]

Top 10 Best BLs on iQIYI

Love For Love's Sake

Korea 2024

This isekai KBL is about a man who must win a game by convincing a reserved teen outcast to fall in love with him. Of course, that teen represents himself and his own unhappiness. Like many queer narratives, this show is actually about self worth, trust, and found family, and it is VERY on the nose. But I don’t expect subtlety from my BL and I enjoyed it's truly lovely redemption arc and earnest performances. While I found the narrative a touch disjointed with overworked filming angles and poorer than average captions, this is certainly much better than early KBL in terms of consistency of tone, script, and immersion. Highly rewatchable and charming, which counts for a lot.

Blueming

Korea 2022

It’s a tiny bit dark and a tiny bit bittersweet, almost too honest to a university experience and first love for BL, but if you want your mind ever-so-slightly messed with and your intimacy hellishly sweet, this BL will do it for you in a coldly distant manner, while bitch slapping you with self worth issues. I wasn’t into it at first, but the leads are solid and by ep 5 it got really good, becoming a narrative about self discovery meets understanding and accepting others people’s flaws without hurting them. Ultimately we witnessed two characters maturing because of each other and their mutual affection, without that affection becoming the conflict point. Instead, tension was built around other aspects of identity, popularity, and self-worth. While production values were a touch lower than usual for Korea, Blueming included decent kisses and other forms of intimacy and a satisfying ending plus there’s judicious and very elegant use of tropes, this is a great BL.

Laws of Attraction

Thai 2023

This is a great gay suspense thriller with several solid couples, fun plot, killer characters, queer rep, and a happy ending. Charn may be my favorite lead character in all BL. However, this show is not entirely BL, more on the fringe, like Manner of Death. There are several "singing incidents" and this pair is a little weak in the chemistry arena, but it's tons of fun. All the triggers tho.

Love Tractor

Korea 2023

Most of this country-set BL had me feral for the beautiful broken city boy and his hot young farmer. Hyung romance, puppy/cat pairing, open frankness meets jaded reserve, language play, water hose frolicking, only one bed, just all my favorite tropes. This show was basically a light-weight Restart After Come Back Home and I’m not even slightly mad about that. But (and you knew there was a “but” coming) something about the cringe of the final 2 eps and the impermanence of the ending (both of which highlight the fact that ultimately these 2 are I’ll-suited: too different and too far apart) left me with the feeling that they probably won’t last as a couple. However, in this case, rare for me, I forgive it this finale for my love of the rest.

Unintentional Love Story

Korea 2023

A boy who just lost his job due to faked corruption charges accidentally discovers his ex-boss's favorite artist, now a recluse. Evil manager offers him his job back if he can convince the artist to rejoin society. Instead, they fall in love. I found the artist a bit stiff and reserved but Gongchan (maknae of B1A4) is a fucking GIFT - he carried this show (which I do not expect from the idol element). He was luminous with extraordinarily expressive eyes, just drown in the emoting abyss. The external conflict, social tension and pressure is complex and beautifully executed, plus Korea gave us legit side dishes (NOT a love triangle, hally-fucking-luya).

Bon Appetit

Korea 2023

Romance between an office worker the man from his past next door who cooks well. It was very sweet and cute tale of food as love in the All the Liquors family of KBL. I’m not wild about it, I did enjoy it, I was happy to have it show up on my dash, but ultimately it will simply become one of the KBL crowd.

My Only 12%

Thai 2022

Y-novel adaptation (author Afterday - Bad Buddy) and strong little BL romance (tailor made for SantaEarth) about holding onto first love and childhood, but it’s buried under waffling family drama and formless side characters so that it took a lot of digging to get to - still I recommend it for the killer softly domestic couple chemistry.

A Breeze of Love

Korea 2023

Tsundere insomniac grump reunited with his sunshine jock ex (human sleeping pill) who now hates him. Basketball is also involved. While the simplicity of a reunion plot makes this more cohesive than most KBLs, it is a tad stiff and slow, never managing to lift itself out of "pretty and pretty enjoyable" - I liked it but I don’t think I’m going to remember much about it.

Between Us

Thai 2023

Featuring the hugely popular side characters from 2019′s Until We Meet Again, WinTeam, adaptation of the y-novel Hemp Rope. It’s a serviceable series about hot swimmers flirting and dealing with family drama in a sweetly earnest manner, but ultimately it squanders the talent in play. I would’ve preferred a cleaner narrative arc, less angst and more plot, fewer couples, and a shorter series. That said, there’s nothing objectively wrong, sub-standard, or off-putting about this show. And it has lots of consent and other good qualities. It’s fine.

Dear Doctor I'm Coming for Your Soul

Thai 2022

This is a romance between a doctor trying to save his patients and a reaper who is both his enemy and (eventual) lover (basically the genius premise of a gay Doom at Your Service). High concept looks good on you, Thailand. It’s lovely to see KarnNat back on screen together and they are still great, and Karn is just as painfully beautiful as ever. I enjoyed this one more than it’s ending deserved, and the best I can say is that it’s not strictly HEA but if you’re okay with Life: Love on the Line, you’ll be okay with this BL.

(source)

This list updated Spring 2024, not responsible for cool stuff that aired on iQIYI (or was taken off the platform) after that date. Some stuff on iQIYI is also on other platforms and if I loved it, I listed it there not here.

This is part of a series continued here:

[imzsuzsis-blog]

I saw a blurry picture on the net of Lando and a strange man in his forties talking in front of the hotel, then kissing. It blew my fuse quite a bit. "If I meet him, I'll be sure to follow Lando Norris" I got out of the taxi in a rage. I almost didn't pay the groundhog, my mind was so different that I shouldn't miss the fucking train, I managed again last year, I hope I won't make it this year... "Ohhh fuck it, I'll kill you!!!!" He takes a picture in front of my eyes and lets the guy hug him from behind. "Fuck this is disgusting." I even covered my eyes so that I wouldn't even see this shit... "Baby, how are the Twins?" I was so shocked by the news that I accidentally pressed Siri on my phone and instead of Zac, I called Pato'o, who was shocked by the news because his ex Lando had been together for a good two years.

"Oh, Osc, come on, take it easy, he's here, my friend Loki, we've just met." I gave Osc a friendly handshake but he pulled away terrified, as if I was terrorizing him. Hello, I'm Oscar, Lando's teammate since last year. He's a cute boy if you warm up like that." ,, Osc???? Did you take a homophobic pill again? we go together, he's my boyfriend." "Not only did you shock me again, you know, I called Pato' O instead of Zak, this is the news of the twins." "Did you hear the bass? I'm sorry, it wasn't intentional, I've only known since yesterday, believe me. I that I was shocked at first by the fact that I am not five weeks old, but seven, then that I have twins, double the joy, but double everything and fucking chaos." "When will you tell me at home?" I shook my head, I didn't realize this either, maybe there are Carlos, Daniel and Max among the four godfather signs, my rivals are all bigger names with one exception, Max Fewtrell is no longer a bigger name than me, but he can easily beat me in this.

"Oh calm down Oscar, yes I am Loki and yes Lando also took his name, that's my name, I have nothing to do with the god of mythology, I'm Loki Jonosoh." "How old are you, because in the picture you looked rather young, even though you were washed." "One week ago, I was forty-one, we just celebrated that on the date and it was said that he wanted to build this piece by piece after the previous one." I started stroking Lando's back with my beautiful but already worn black nails, who vomited again, this usual breakfast was bad for him. He can't stand it, he said yesterday when he was about to leave crying, he's out of it, it's like he's settled in well, and then everything would come out, he hates it all in the morning, I comforted him. In the brain, he was lying there crouched down and crying constantly, I am worried about him, in fact, he doesn't eat anything, he is just nauseous or dizzy, even now when we get there, this is not a condition for him. ,,Do you know of another hospital in Suzuka besides the emergency hospital? Oscar is urgent please!!!!” "I'm here Loki, I'm looking at the map, I've already found one, I hope it won't end badly. Come on Lando you need to eat for a little bit.” "No, I can't even look at the food, I feel nauseous and have to throw up again." "We really need a hospital where we can be told what to do, it's not fun to watch." ,,Jesus!!!" "We don't know what's wrong with me either, Charles. We know he can't eat, if he eats everything right away, then his appetite is completely gone, we are worried and he can't handle vomiting in the morning. Loki said that he was curled up crying on the bed and didn't want to leave until he couldn't stop crying." "We are hoping that he will sleep a little on the train."

The thought came to my mind, I'm going to die right here and get the fuck out, "Water, Loki, thanks, I'm not hungry, I'm just fucking thirsty and I'm parched." "Well, at least you're taking your vitamins, aren't you?" ,,Of course, are you fooling around with chocolate milk Charles? For what?” "This or the B12, you decide, Lando." Give me the chocolate milk, is it a joke, is it also B12? Get it!!!! I don't." I watched him while he was throwing a tantrum, it's only natural that he has no appetite and that he's constantly vomiting and gnawing on certain foods like that, what's wrong with him now?" "Paprika, but I could also say radishes and vegetables like this, he can smell it and is starting to feel nauseous, but he is constantly vomiting or has nausea, I can't do anything about him, even now he is sensitive, he saw a dead cat on the street and started to cry and he would have loved it At the cemetery, when I and a couple of passers-by prevented this, he started to get hysterical and threw his shoes, because I wanted to calm him down, he started to cry again because he doesn't understand what he's doing and he's had enough of it, he wanted to fool around with me, and finally he fell down. " "This vitamin shit and this chocolate milk look like they're being drunk by school kids." I went to Loki, who kissed me and ruffled my hair, I leaned on his shoulder, tired as hell, I didn't sleep in the middle of the night, I sat on the edge of the bed and waited for the new pussy to come out of my stomach, and I cried, then I vomited, I didn't sleep at all, when I slept, I tossed and turned, it was a nightmare.

[bucky-rabbit]

Overheard today at the café I started working at (because being a sorcerer for hire isn't exactly bringing the bread (I have to decline so many offers because of how unhinged everyone is about their breakups wtf)):

Customer A: I have this friend who already has everything, but his birthday is coming up soon, and I just for the life of me can't figure out what to get.

Customer B: I think that I know who you're talking about, I think that I'll get him a buffet coupon for that one very good restaurant they also have in Metropolis.

Customer A: Not everyone has your metabolism or appetite.

Customer C: His birthday isn't for a while, why are you even thinking about it this early?

Customer A: Because he is a good friend.

Customer D: Give him a coupon that allows him to carry you around bridal style.

Customer A: I hope that you're joking.

Customer D: Hey, it'd make me very happy!

Customer A: You'll be getting a keychain and a restraining order.

Customer D: WHAT! WHY!?

Customer A: You know exactly why.

Customer B: To be fair Arrow, you do give some people the creeps with how obsessive you can be.

Customer D: AM NOT! I just thought that B and I were the bestest of friends.

Customer B: I'm pretty sure that honour goes to that one local cop.

Customer A: Gordon and I have worked together for a long time.

Customer B: SEE? His best friend is the cop.

Customer C: And you are dating his son.

Customer B: WHO TOLD YOU THAT

Customer C: The tabloids of Central City after you two were seen in a compromised position during a mission.

Customer B: I SLIPPED!!

Customer A: Unlikely, you are known to wear the best anti-slip shoes available along with you possessing the fastest speed known to man. However if you are dating Nightwing, I won't be mad, just disappointed.

Customer B: Ouch.

Customer A: This isn't helping me to come up with a good gift for Superman. Having this meet-up is a waste of time.

I looked up and the people talking were BATMAN, FLASH, GREEN ROBIN HOOD AND THE FUCKING THEMYSCRAN WARRIOR PRINCESS WHAT THE FUCK.

Anyway, I suggested that they'd get this Superman flowers since everyone should receive them at least once in their life since they have tons of different meanings and then asked them if they could not hold the line longer with their arguments about Flash's love life and whether or not green Robin Hood is a creep.

I got a 100 USD tip from that.

I still don't know what the fuck any of them were doing in Gotham safe for Batman.

My new headcanon is that Green Robin Hood is Batman's ex and this Superman is his current flame.

[wolfstrong]

You guys probably don’t want to look under the cut just the most pathetic rant in the world holy shit spiraling spiraling

My life fucking sucks my life fucking sucks. It sucks. IT SUCKS THIS SUCKS THIS IS STUPID IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE JTS LIKE. it’s like. If you knew how much I cared about you you’d want me back. Like if you could understand and feel how I’m feeling you’d want me because it’s like. It’s like who feels this way about you you know it’s like I really really care. Don’t you want someone to care about you. Doesn’t that feel good. Don’t you want someone to understand you. Like. How could you not want that too. We could be that for each other you know. Like. You know. It just doesn’t make any sense l. It’s like it shouldn’t even be possible. We shouldn’t be created like this it’s like if you care this much there should be an understanding between the two do you and it should just work out. I KNEW THE SECOND I SAW HIM OKAY. THE SECOND HE TALK TO ME AND I TURNED AROUND AND SAW HIM OKAY. I JUST KNEW there wasn’t anything I could do and nothing else even needed to happen. I just looked into his eyes and i was already completely extremely obsessed. In that moment. It’s not like it got worse or got better it was like this from moment one. I couldn’t eat the first 2 weeks after I met him. I COULDNT EAT. he wasn’t even around we barely texted I would just think about him all the time and get so nervous I’d loose my appetite. It wasn’t real. Ouch my head hurts. It shouldn’t be like this. Why’d he ever talk to me why’d he kiss me like that why’d he reject me then hang out with me again why’d he get upset when I couldn’t see him why’d he come up to me when he saw me in public I remember he said to me if I didn’t wanna see you I would have avoided you at the club then later I tried to avoid him and he came up to see me. It’s like am I ever gonna run into you again. Why’d I stop trying to be your friend why’d I cut myself off I don’t even care that there were ups and down and you made me so depressed when you wouldn’t text and I’d think about how you probably didn’t care and about how you were too busy thinking about your exs and how I wasn’t your type it hurt so bad thinking about all those things but then you’d give me attention snd it was completely worth it it was like doing drugs it was the only thing my mood was dependent on. Holy shit. Jesus Christ. I hate this

[hellcatinnc]

Canceled Plans

Warning This includes: NSFW/SMUT (Read Tags Before Continuing)

Tags: nsfw, snuggles, mature themes, consensual, smut, Osamu Dazai, chuuya nakahara, Dazai, Bungo Stray Dogs, BSD, dazai x reader, osamu dazai x reader, chuuya x reader, chuuya x dazai x reader, cuckolding, cream pie, submissive dazai, dominant chuuya, cheating, breeding, voyeurism, kink, fetish, orgasms, cum fetish, after care, cock & ball torture, chastity, chastity cage, masturbation, cum fetish, datyecp, humiliation, thick cock, kissing, french kissing

Word Count: 2,372

Prompt List Words Used: Canceled Plans To Snuggle & Fuck, cup of hot chocolate, favorite blanket

Feature: Osamu Dazai x Chuuya x Fem! Reader

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dazai has been trying to figure out something to bring a spark to you yours and his sex life. He doesn't want for sex like you do and he knows your appetite can be insatiable so he started searching different kinks until he comes across cuckolding. He brought it up to you one night. He tells you the ins and outs of it and asks if your down for it. You agree because you do want to get fucked like a real man should fuck his woman. However Dazai takes care of you in the emotional ways he lacks the sexual side of things so you feel this might be something worth doing. Then the words you thought you would never hear from his lips. "Belladonna, name one man you want to be your bull to fuck you and breed you." You never thought you would hear something like this but the first thought that comes to your mind is his old partner Chuuya.

You have had the hots for that man for a long time. He gives you the thought that he could be aggressive in bed the way you wished Dazai could be. However you get the best of both worlds it seems you get the hard core sex from Chuuya and the aftercare from Dazai what could be better you thought. You waisted no time answering his question. "I would like to be fucked like a dirty whore from Chuuya while you watch". You had no idea what got into you saying it like that. It was like a animalistic side to you that wanted him to know that you craved to be a fuck toy to his ex partner that fight all the time. He would have to watch him deep in his girls pussy getting her pregnant and make hot cream pies. He nodded at your request and knew he now had to bring it up to Chuuya and had no idea how to approach him with it.

The next day Dazai came home and told you he had stopped by the sex shop and got a few toys including a cock and ball chastity cage for him. This was all new you had never heard of any of these things but were still curious anyways. You two always had a pretty vanilla sex life since he was no where near as sexual as you were. After he showed you his toys he still told you he hadn't taken the leap to talk to Chuuya yet, you put your hand on his. "Do you want me to ask him?" He was stunned by this but he felt it should be his job as your partner to ask plus it was the humiliation as well. He was surprised the thought of being humiliated in front of his wife and Chuuya was a bit of a turn on. He had approached you in the past with only one thing he thought that would turn him on and the was erotic asphyxiation and you just weren't down for that double suicide shit.

The next night was supposed to be dinner plans together instead Dazai came home and said he had great news to tell you. He came in poured you and him a cup of hot chocolate and told you his idea for the evening. "Belladonna, this is going to be the greatest night of your life. Chuuya is coming over to fuck you." Your chin almost dropped, this was real, it was happening. You honestly never thought Dazai would go through with it. You sipped your hot chocolate then you decide to get ready for a evening of canceled plans. You cancel the restaurant plans because tonight is about fucking, sucking, and getting owned by Chuuya then having soft snuggly cuddles with your sweet Dazai after. After getting out of the shower you place one of the sexiest lingerie's you have on that Dazai never much cared for. This was time to turn Chuuya on like Dazai never could be.

Dazai tells you that its about humiliating him, and refusing him attention and your not sure you can pull this off because you do love him but your willing to try this. By the time you come out into the bedroom there is Dazai sitting in a chair at the end of the bed he has the cock chastity on preventing him from being able to cum or get hard. It really does look like a torture device but he seems like he is comfortable then he shows you a pair of handcuffs. You put them on him from behind the chair and you know this party is getting ready to play out how only in your head it has. So many nights you would touch yourself masturbating to the thought of Chuuya fucking you. You get a knock at the door knowing this is it, showtime baby. You kiss Dazai on the lips "I do love you, my love." The last words from your lips before everything changes.

You open the door and of course Chuuya walks in like he owns the place. Already complaining under his breath. Luckily before you opened the door you had put Dazai's trench coat around you because it seems the longer you talk to Chuuya you find that Dazai didn't even tell him why he was there just he wanted him to come with his wife. What Dazai was saying was right but was Cum with his wife, not come and he never clarified with Chuuya. After you explained everything to Chuuya he walked in to the bedroom where Dazai was sitting undressed in the cock and ball torture and he walks up and smacks the hell out of him. He cusses him out for being a idiot but then something flips with Chuuya and he plainly tells Dazai he was gonna fuck his woman real good. This made you blush at the very thought that Chuuya was going to leave your pussy raw when he was done. You knew he was doing this to taunt Dazai but thats ok its the best of it all.

You walk over to Chuuya and you untie the trench coat leaving you in nothing but a sexy black and red lingerie with garter belt and crotch less panties. The look that came across his face already excited you. He started taking his gloves off and this man could make a art of this the very thought of him removing them before he fucked you like a lil cum slut was turning you on. He grabbed hold of you and kissed you hard and deep then assaulted your mouth with his tongue. The taste of alcohol on his breath with a slight smoky his smell normally would turn you off but you wanted him and you wanted him bad. His hands easily wandered your body, you could feel Dazai's eye on you both. At first it was awkward then it became pretty hot knowing he was watching couldn't change his mind or stop you two but you could be fucked while he watched.

Chuuya picked you up and threw you back on the bed spreading your thighs for you giving Dazai a good look then he rips your panties completely off exposing your perfectly pink pussy waiting to be violated. As Dazai's eye met yours Chuuya shoved 2 fingers right into your twat making you gasp and whimper at his touch. You could tell that caught Dazai off guard like he already wanted this to stop even though he didn't say the words you could see it in his eyes. Chuuya mouthed off to Dazai with a cocky sound in his voice. "How does it feel Dazai to know I'm getting ready to turn your woman into my cum slut? I'm going to breed the little bitch and your gonna watch me fill her little pussy with my hot seed." He laughed as he slammed fingers in and out of you as you squirm and moan. Every time you moaned it sickened Dazai knowing that Chuuya was doing this to you. He thought this would be fun but its not and he begs Chuuya to stop. Of course he got rejected and then he whispered into your ear to tell Dazai what you just said.

You look up at Dazai as Chuuya is still finger fucking you. You moan and aggressively tell Dazai. "Chuuya owns my pussy I want him to breed me!" He laughs as he can see the way its almost bringing tears to Dazai's eyes. He couldn't believe that you really wanted Chuuya even though you could see it was breaking him. He realized he loved you and wanted you to himself and here you were being a little cum dumpster for his ex partner. After Chuuya got your pussy all sopping wet he pulled out his massively big cock, you knew there was no comparison to Dazai his cock was way thicker. He put the head of his prick up to your entrance making sure he had you angled perfectly for Dazai see him own your pussy. The head of his cock already dripping precum and throbbing as he pushes just the head in. You can feel it stretching you already but your pussy hungers for it, you can't wait to milk that prick for every drop of cum it has in it.

Chuuya looks over at Dazai and with one swoop slammed his cock so far into you. His cock so massive you were in tears as he stretched that fuck hole of yours. As Dazai saw tears stream down your face he started cussing Chuuya out threatening to kill him after this. Of course Chuuya wasn't listening he grabbed you by the hips and slammed into you then pulled all the way out and did it again repeatedly. He made you cry, and moan until it felt so good you begged him not to stop. His pulsating member felt so good in you, he was everything more in what you hoped he would be. You worried awhile how Dazai was reacting to this now the very thought of him watching you get fucked was really turning you on. You even found Dazai being tied up and humiliated and being degraded by Chuuya as he fucks you even more of a turn on. You hungered for more you moaned and screamed as Chuuya made your cunt his.

Chuuya pushed your face down into the bed pulling your ass up into the air thrusting his cock back into that wetness. He did it so there would be a good view as he busted a nut spilling his cum deep into that fuck hole of yours. He pulled his cock out letting it drip off the sides of your pussy before pushing it back in watching it spill out more. It pure sickened Dazai what Chuuya was doing but he was really enjoying it. He slammed his cock deep almost to your cervix causing you to tremble with orgasms. He ravaged your little cunt that dripped his spunk over and over again leaving you exhausted yet still wanting to be bred more. He was determined he was going to make sure he knocked you up so he kept filling you with more and more of his hot seed. Every time he did he would make sure that Dazai could see it spilling out of you. When he was done making you his own personal cum slut, leaving your pussy violated and bruised from his cock he did something you didn't expect.

Chuuya grabbed Dazai and slammed his face into your pussy. He put his foot on his back humiliating him. Yelling at him "Lick that fuckin cream pie out of her and know its how I got her fuckin pregnant". His words were rough and cold yet somehow they made your pussy pulsate thinking about it. Dazai had tears coming from his eyes as he made him eat the cream pie right out of you. At first you were a bit disgusted but oh did it turn you on knowing the man who will have gotten you pregnant is making him lick up the mess he left. After Chuuya was done with you and you really felt like his cum slut however you were ok with that. He satisfied you like no other man even Dazai had ever done. Then you uncuffed Dazai and with all your wetness there exposed you were a bit turned on by the idea of having more than one man's cum in your tonight. You undid his chastity and it didn't take long for his prick to get hard for you.

"Dazai, I want you to fuck me!" He looked at you like he wanted you more than anything. He took his cock and started stroking it in front of you which really got you turned on again for him. He didn't last long because even though he didn't want to continue he couldn't help but know his body was so turned on watching her get owned by Chuuya. He thrusts a few times and he exploding inside of her pushing it deeper into her. Pushing Chuuya's cum deeper one of them was going to get you pregnant.

He positioned himself behind you pulling your favorite blanket over you while he spooned you thrusting his cock slowly in your now gaping hole. You had been fucked so hard that night that all you know is there is no more room for cum but doesn't mean that he didn't want to give you more. He snuggled up slowly fucking you until you two were out of energy and you both collapsed. Both of you breathing heavy after a wild night. After he picked you up and took you to the shower and washed every inch of you from top to bottom. Then carried you back to the bed where he held you the rest of the night in cuddles as you fell asleep together. Last words echoing in the night "I love you Belladonna." You smiled at him as you closed your eyes "I love you too, my love."

[cjsarchive]

Can you write a fic where the incubi comfort MC after her boyfriend cheated on her with her best friend? This just happened to me and I could rlly use some incubi love T_T

So sorry to hear that happened to you, hope all is better soon<3! Hope you enjoy this fic:3

(Platonic)

Me Before You-Incubi x Reader

I walked back into my house and closed the door behind me, turning to face the door and sink against it, my forehead against the door. I didn’t let myself cry. Didn’t want to give them the satisfaction of seeing me break down. I tried to convince myself it was all for the best. Tried to hold everything in. Tried to be strong. But I don’t feel strong. I feel weak. I feel broken. I feel sick to my stomach. My mind kept going back to the two of them in bed together. Two people I trusted. Two people I loved the most. Two hours ago, I was happy, everything in my life was fine. My heart wasn’t completely fucking shattered with the fact my boyfriend and my best friend were sleeping with each other behind my back. And they didn’t even seem a little fucking sorry. Didn’t seem a bit scared to lose me. What’s wrong with me? What did I do to deserve this?

My chest felt hollow as the tears finally started to pour down my face. I feel so hopeless.

“Mika?”

I quickly turned around to see Damien, standing in front me with a deep frown on his face. I couldn’t even try to deflect. I couldn’t speak. I felt like I was drowning. Damien simply opened his arms to me. I let out a loud sob as I practically ran into his arms.

“I’m so sorry.” He said softly as he rubbed my back. I couldn’t do anything but sob into his shirt. I’m so pathetic. “No you’re not. Not at all.”

“Hey, what happened?” Matthew asked as he rushed in followed by the rest of the incubi. I could hear Damien hesitate. I mentally gave him permission to tell them what happened.

“Her boyfriend cheated on her. With her best friend.” I could hear a mix between sourness and sympathy in his voice as he said it.

“Oh my goodness.” James said breathlessly.

“We’re so sorry that happened to you.” Erik said, frowning. I finally pulled away from Damien and looked towards the boys. I took a deep breath, trying to finally say something, but the lump in my throat was fighting to keep my words down. Stupid.

“You’re not stupid.” Damien said with a quarter of sterness in his voice.

“Yeah,” Sam piped in, “Those dipshits are the ones that are stupid!”

James placed a hand on my shoulder, “You are amazing, Mika. You don’t at all deserve what happened to you.” But how could that be true? Why would the two people I gave everything to completely break me if I didn’t do anything to deserve it?

“We’re here for you, okay?” Matthew told me, “Anything you need, we got you!”

I pushed down the lump in my throat and breathed some air back into my lungs. I eventually spoke up, “…I- I just wanna stop feeling like this…” I managed to quietly mumble out, and it wasn’t even well articulated. What is the matter with me?

The boys exchanged looks with each other before Damien lifted me into his arms. He brought me to the living room and sat me down on the couch.

“I could make you your favorite dessert? Would that be okay with you?” Matthew asked. I didn’t have much of an appetite, but I still nodded. Matthew smiled at me before he went off to the kitchen.

“You wanna play?” Sam asked, offering me a controller and gesturing to the paused multiplayer screen on the tv, “You can kick James’s ass at video games. That outta cheer you up.” That started to bring a smile to my face. But my mind started to drift back to my boyfriend. Ex-boyfriend.

“I’ll just watch for now.” I muttered.

“Hey, you know what happened wasn’t at all your fault right?” Erik said, sitting next to me on the couch.

“I don’t know. I just,” I swallowed. Everything was spinning around in my head, “I feel so used and…discarded. I loved him so much. I gave him everything. I helped him through so much. But obviously he didn’t give two shits about me. He dropped me for someone he found more interesting. My fucking best friend of all people,” The sinking feeling in my chest came and I began to cry again, “The person I trusted most in the world. The person I was there for through everything. The person who was there for me through everything, was nothing but a liar. I meant nothing to them.” I sighed, letting out a shaky breath, “I miss the person I was before them. The person who didn’t feel so pathetic and miserable right now.” I didn’t realize I was rambling until I looked up and everyone was sitting silently, listening. Matthew even came back into the room and I didn’t notice. I suddenly felt small.

“You’re an amazing person,” James said, softly, “Those two are idiotic for betraying the trust of someone as great as you. They obviously have sorrowful lives themselves to do something so despicable.”

“Yeah, hurt people hurt people. There is nothing wrong with you,” Erik said, putting his hand on my shoulder, “You deserve the world.”

“Those losers are the ones who are pathetic and miserable!” Matthew added.

“I oughta punch the guy in the nose.” Sam grumbled, and that made me smile a bit.

“Don’t listen to the negative thoughts in your head,” Damien told me, “This isn’t the end of your life. Soon enough, you’ll get over them and realize they were never worth it at all. Even if it doesn’t feel that way right now.” Damien scooped me up in a hug and the others followed his lead and started one big cuddle sesh.

There was a spark in my heart and I felt the hollowness go away slightly. I don’t know if they were enthralling me or what, but either way, their presence was definitely helping. They pulled away from the hug and a small smile formed on my face, “Thank you guys. So much,” I looked at each of them, “For being here with me even when I’m a mess.” I laughed slightly.

“We’ll always be here for ya, doofus. No matter what.” Sam said sincerely as he reached to ruffle my hair. James went on to massage my shoulders while Damien provided cuddles and Matthew fed me my favorite dessert. Sam got Erik to play against him on the game and to be honest, it did make me laugh seeing Erik being terrible at video games. Sam turned to look at me, “You ready to get in on this?”

“I’m sure you’ll have no problem beating me.” Erik laughed at himself.

I smiled, “Alright.” I grabbed the controller from Sam.

“Woo! You got this!” Matthew cheered me on.

The incubi spent the rest of the night by my side cheering me up. After a video game marathon, we got a bunch of snacks, loaded up with blankets and pillows, and built a big fort in the living room before turning on Disney movies.

“This is stupid,” Sam said to the tv as we were watching Disney’s Cinderella, “You’re saying no one else in that damn town has the same shoe size as her?”

“Sam, do you have to talk through the entire movie?” James sighed.

“I mean i’m just saying-“ Sam was cut off by Matthew hitting him with a pillow. Matthew laughed hysterically at Sam’s offended face. “Oh no you didn’t.” Sam said before grabbing a pillow and hurling it at Matthew. In the blink of an eye, the two got caught up on their impromptu pillow fight, tackling each other with their pillows.

“Guys come on.” Damien tried to interject. But the two weren’t listening as they got really into it. They were at least having fun, until Sam accidentally hit me in the face with his pillow. Everyone froze.

“Holy shit! Sorry!” Sam rushed to say. I paused for a moment, considering my attack. It wasn’t long before I quickly grabbed a pillow and hit Sam with enough force to knock him down. I laughed at everyone’s shocked faces.

“Yeah! Pillow fight!” Matthew shouted before practically jumping on Sam and attacking him with a pillow when his guard was down. Damien eventually joined in, followed by Erik even. I managed to step off to the side and sit with James as the rest of the boys went at it. I couldn’t help my laughter seeing them all being so playful with each other. I noticed in the corner of my eye James was smiling at me.

“What is it?” I asked, confused.

“I’m glad to see you’re smiling. I’ll take this as we were successful in making you feel better?” He asked hopefully. I didn’t realize the sinking feeling in my chest had gone. Just being around the boys and seeing them act like brothers was helpful. I giggled.

“Yeah, you guys are awesome.” I genuinely smiled. James leaned in and kissed my forehead, “That’s good. I am quite upset about the movie interruption though.” I chuckled as I had completely forgotten about the movie.

“They’ll tire out soon enough.” I leaned my head on his shoulder, relaxing into him. I was just now noticing how heavy my eyes felt. I feel comfortable. I feel safe surrounded by these boys even as they were beating each other with pillows. I feel so loved in this moment. Whatever else happened in the future, I knew I would have these guys by my side to help me through anything. And that thought comforted me as I drifted off to sleep.

[callixspod]

give me YOUR stanarrator headcanons now you cheesy bitch /silly

OKAY. BET TWINKIE. ✋

Imma give you some FUCKING HEADCANONS alright.

my STANARRATOR hcs!!!! :))))))

so Stanley has a last name! (in my hc) and his full name is Stanley Pindutan Villaveras. (Pindutan in Tagalog has two meanings! it's either 'pressing' or 'buttons' lmao)

And with that we HAVE Stanley Villaveras and Nathaniel 'Hudsons' Villaveras. hehe.

Nathan doesn't eat cos he dislikes it but whenever Stanley's in the kitchen cooking for himself he wants to help him out so that he feels less guilty about his unfavored appetite. (nice!)

Stanley is good at handling with children! (because his broke ass was DIVORCED.) so with Linney (the adventure line child) and Stanley getting along well, Nate was suprised by this sort of skill that he never really noticed before since...ever!

Stanley would talk about his past life when he starts regaining a bit of his memories, while Nate sits there and listen, with an ache in his heart that he should be out there in the real world, and not here.

They're married for 10 years. How'd they got engaged? Stanley noticed on Nate's left hand that his ring finger was missing one. So, Stanley used his old wedding ring to fill the gap. turns out that kinda made some mishaps and a discussion to be handled but now here they are! happily wed!! yippee!!

they still fight! occasionally! they like to bicker over nothing and that they find this routine very entertaining. after that whole fighting shenanigans Stanley would go: [so do you want some coffee?] "sure honey. oh, with cream please <3"

....

Stanley loves his Eldritch ink wife 🥺 and Nathan loves his boring looking husband <3

Stanley is a heavy sleeper so whenever he just dukes out and goes to sleep somewhere in the parable, Nathan would get a blanket and plomp themselves next to Stan, and just stare at him. it's beginning to become a hobby now.

I think the first time they had an intimate hug Nathan thought that feeling was 'good' or 'different'. it was all positive, and she doesn't know how to feel about it but he'd like to have that hug again. (which is why the cuddle a lot now)

from bickering married couple to a teasing husband, Stanley fits that title pretty well. Though his dark humor does need some work...

Nathan laughs at Stanley's jokes, no matter how lame or unfunny they were.

Nathan would go up behind Stanley and whisper in his ear with some sUgGesStIvE flirting as a little payback for teasing him.

They always fight to the littlest things and they go NOWHERE. but at least their pride is still intact, somehow.

Nathan would give Stanley the silent treatment but it often ends quickly. The longest time that Stanley had to survive Nate's stubborness was 20 minutes.

Stanley mentioning that he had a few exes back in his youth which made Nathan perplexed but he was just jealous dw

Since Stanley exercises Nathan would hover over to Stanley doing pushups and he swiftfully sits at Stanley's bare back, with a book or a script in her hands.

both of them are pretty familiar with tango dancing so to pass the time instead of worrying Abt the endings, they go to the starry dome and dance there. corny mfers.

their emojis are 🍂//🌗!!!

OKAY THATS IT YOU GOT YOUR PACKAGE DEAL NOW SCRAM /j /silly

I had fun tryna combine all my hcs into one post I'm sure there's gonna be more but THIS IS ALL! THANK YOUUUU AND GOOD DAY

[simmerdowndee]

uni_dayz episode twelve part six

The group is headed to dinner, but I decided to stay behind. I’m not really up for going out tonight. Theres something about your ex-boyfriend popping up on a trip for your achievements that kind of makes you lose your appetite. I’m just going to stay in my room and watch mukbang’s all night. Even though I’m upset with Theo, I kinda don’t want him to leave. He clearly is here for a reason, seeing its MY trip. So I want to know why, but he can wait until I’m ready to talk to him.

Laura: Where is Dakota?

Chloe: She’s in her room. She didn’t want to come out. She doesn’t have an appetite.

Theo: Is she sick? Maybe I should go check on her?

Noah: Maybe you should.

Laura: Maybe you shouldn’t try to force it Theo.

Theo: I just want to check on her, that’s all.

Laura: Fine. Meet us at the restaurant when you are done.

Laura: I’m serious Theo, don’t force it.

Theo: I hear you loud and clear.

Back in Dakota’s room

*Knock Knock*

Laura must have realized I wasn’t going to dinner. It’s fine. I’m okay in my room tonight.

Dakota: Laura, I know you’re worried but I’m –

Dakota: Theo.

Theo: Chloe said you weren’t feeling well. Are you okay?

Dakota: I’m fine.

Theo: Okay, I just wanted to check on you.

Dakota: Thanks, but I’m good.

Theo: Okay…

Theo: Hey… can we please talk?

He couldn’t let me have the rest of the night to process his surprise appearance. He just had to talk as soon as he got here….

Dakota: Sure.

Theo: Let’s go downstairs to the kitchen.

Dakota: K.

We head downstairs and sit at the kitchen table. On the table is my favorite bottle of wine.

Dakota: There’s no way you knew this was my favorite bottle of wine….

Theo: I brought a bottle back from Windenburg. I saw it on your story once…

Dakota: Of course, you did…

Dakota: So…

Theo: You look good. I like your hair.

Dakota: Thanks. I see you cut yours, it looks nice.

Theo: Thank you. I wanted to try something new for once.

Theo: I saw you were still wearing your necklace and bracelet…

Dakota: Conveniently I decided to wear them the day before you got here. I didn’t know they had summoning powers….

Dakota: So, what did you want to talk about?

Theo: Us. Dakota I-

Dakota: Last time I checked there was no us.

Theo: I know, but-

Dakota: But what Theo?

Dakota: You know you have some fucking nerve showing up here out of the blue.

I need to get up because I’m now starting to get angry again.

Theo: Dakota, wait. Please.

Dakota: Why are you here Theo?

Theo: Because I miss you. I miss us.

Dakota: You just randomly missed me and wanted to see me?

Theo: Truthfully, I missed you the entire time I was away. I was miserable.

Dakota: But that was supposed to be me, remember?

Theo: Dakota, is that fair?

Dakota: Tell me what is, Theo?

Theo: You didn’t miss me at all?

Dakota: Of course, I fucking missed you, I didn’t want you to leave.

Theo: Do you still love me?

Dakota: Unfortunately, yes. I do.

Theo: How is that unfortunate?

Dakota: Because you broke my fucking heart Theo.

*Dakota starts to cry*

Dakota: I spent most of my time thinking about you, wondering what I would say or do when I saw you again, hoping you would just come back because I fucking love you.

Theo: Baby, I’m sorry. I fucked up. I really did, but I want to fix it.

Theo: Please don’t cry.

Dakota: And what about your little girlfriend?

Theo: Girlfriend? What girlfriend?

Dakota: The girl from your simsta posts.

Theo: She’s just a teammate. That’s all Dakota. I don’t feel anything for her at all.

Well, that’s a relief.

Theo: I just want to be with you. I love you. I love you so much.

Dakota: How do I know you won’t just up and leave again? You just let me go. Like I meant nothing.

Theo: Baby, I swear to God, I won’t ever leave you again. You are everything to me.

Theo: Please.

Theo: I love you. I need you.

Dakota: I love you too.

Theo: I love you baby, I’m so sorry.

For a second, I didn’t know if I ever wanted to speak to him again. The minute I saw him, I became angry all over again, but also happy to see him. I couldn’t be happier than I am in this moment. All I wanted was to be with him.

I’m so happy I didn’t send him away.

Theo: Should we meet the others at the restaurant?

Dakota: No, I just wanna be with you tonight.

Theo: Let’s go upstairs then…

Later that night….

Laura: I’m going to go check on Dakota. Maybe you should go check on Theo.

Noah: Yeah, I’ll go check in…

A few seconds later

Noah: Theo is not in his room. Do you think she made him leave?

Laura: I know where he is….

Noah: I should have figured.

Laura: Is that jealously I hear?

Noah: Not at all. Her heart is back where it belongs.

[lzizzz]

What did you think when you left me this way

by Lingering_Bastard

Chapter 3: We Live On

Ok, getting broken up with? Sucks.

In between the sobbing, every inhale bringing in an icy sharp breath that burns my throat, and tears streaming down my face onto Kev’s jacket sleeves, staining them black with mascara as I painfully swipe at my eyes; I suddenly realize a strong contender to the “this sucks” hierarchy. I mean, as stupid as it sounds, that in this very moment I can be thinking of anything other than walking out of that party a single woman.

These shoes might have been perfect to wear all night for an indoor party, but now with the reckless idea of walking home executed, blisters have begun to form at the back of my heels, and they hurt like a bitch.

So, getting your heart broken sucks, but wearing the wrong shoes to the break up is just slightly more criminal.

“You’ve got to be kidding, oh fuck.” I swear out loud, noticing the burning of skin is actually becoming unbearable, and pause my walk. Through bleary eyes I look around the empty street, noticing how much I’ve managed to walk, fiercely trapped in miserable sentiments. My breath comes out in puffs of white, a dying street lamp pitying me.

‘Well screw you, your only job is to light up and you can’t even do that right’

It’s colder out in the open, though with a warmed-up body all it does is numb my face. I’m just a few blocks from my house, that distance is mocking me more than my smeared makeup. With that thought, I wipe with dirty sleaves again. Geez, these tears are unrelenting.

“God I’m an embarrassment.” I mumble, kicking at the lamppost helplessly. It only flickers meekly in response.

I’m almost content to keep standing here, no movement to ignite the pain of the blisters, no huffing in chilly air rushing to get home. My mind starts drifting to my now seemly comfortable bed, still messy with clothes I was debating on wearing this night. Wrapped dinner in the fridge I could heat up, my appetite randomly coming back to life. And I did promise myself a hot chocolate. Ugh, and I have to wash my face before sleep even if I really don’t want to… I wonder if Kevin is still at the party. It's late, maybe he got sick of it and went home? Or maybe he went back inside, with his newfound single life, and instantly start flirting with someone once I left? There were so many hot people to pick from. I can visualize it now, him smashing down a few drinks, charming his way into a group of strangers. Oh shit, there was that one girl who had the hots for him, Leo? Yeah, she looked properly high and dressed to impress. He could be balls deep in her right now, I saw the top bedroom was empty, is he even the type to fuck after a breakup heck WE didn’t even go further than over the clothes stuff-

And I'm overthinking again.

As if the universe was sick of my pathetic head ramblings, a car passes through the street ahead of me, reminding me I am still crying in the middle of a random sidewalk at midnight and not at home, a better place to spiral into insecurity. Also, that car was a little off the middle lane, sir you are lucky I’m not a cop because that’s some drunk driving. I grit my teeth, pain be damned, do a once over around me finding I’m still pleasantly alone on this walk, and take off one reluctant step at a time towards my house.

Against better judgment, and still angry at the thought that my Ex is now ~thoroughly~ enjoying the party that is surely still raging on, I decide on a shortcut through the park. It’s not much of a park as it is a few bushes and a playground, used mainly by smoking school kids ditching class.

Thank a clear sky and a bright moon, I don’t see anyone waiting to stab me in the night for, what, a piece of gum in my front pocket and a beat-up phone? What a score. I still walk as briskly as possible.

Unfortunately, my worst enemy doesn’t come in the form of a stranger in the bushes, my wild imagination conjuring up images of horned demons coming for my skin rather than a bored serial killer.

No, my enemy stays at it as always been, mother nature herself.

It’s a gravel path, how hard can it be to walk a gravel path? I’ve passed the slides and swing set and am well on my way to the freedom of the next street when I stop paying attention to the ground, looking around the familiar houses, ready for the home stretch. Too focused on the routine picket fences rotting away in this forgotten suburbia: I trip over a goddamn stick.

My feet are already clumsy from the burning pain of blisters and strained from the walk, they don’t even try to catch my balance as I lurch forward, vision going black for a moment as my forehead hits those stupid posts they put in front of parks to stop cars swerving in and such. Well, stupid cars didn’t hit them, I did. And the forehead collision is followed up with my knees smacking into the concrete sidewalk hard.

I gasp, breathless and dizzy, falling to my shoulder, then rolling onto my back with the final momentum from my trip.

I don’t immediately acknowledge the pain, the hot blood now trickling down my forehead, or look down to my scraped knees. A night in which too much has happened in such a short amount of time, my attention drifts towards the stars. The stars that have seen this whole night: A whole meltdown and a half lasting from my bedroom, through a car trip, on a balcony next to a pool. All the events that led up to this entire predicament. A night that in storybooks would have been a heart-to-heart conversation of apologies and teary-eyed kisses and “I’ll never hurt you again” promises.

Not whatever this is.

Slowly, as if figuring out the right key to play, my brain halts all function. All thoughts buzz out and narrow into one solid, sorrowful feeling. A hurt that seemed so old, too out of place for my own head, passed on from a harrowed soul and thrust into me just so I could feel it too. Now, bubbling up from deep in my chest, I burst. Still, on the cold ground, the fiery hurt spreads through my body. A trembling mess, teeth biting into my covered arms trying to muffle sounds as excruciating wails and screams leave me without permission. My legs flail and kick, the air, the ground, the fucking feeling that was so unexplainable and agonizing.

This is what he did to me.

--

The short tantrum overstays its welcome, but I have the sense to know I’m a couple of blocks from my house from where I’m bleeding on this park pavement. As soon as I get up and dust whatever I can off, I almost run home. The pain of moving my sore limbs and bleeding soles is better than crying the night out at the park entrance, alerting concerned neighbors, and maybe earning a call to my parents.

I’m limping down my driveway, rather pissed at the automatic light sensor ratting me out. I pause for a beat, looking for movement in the windows. A sigh of relief escapes me, seems the surprise spotlight didn’t get me caught. Not that I’m sneaking back in, of course, I just look like a banshee leaving a funeral.

Rounding the house into the backyard, I sit on the decking and practically rip off the offending shoes, crying in relief as I free my feet. They aren’t bad shoes, they really aren’t. I’ll just have to tape up my heels next time. Sure. I still throw them onto the shoe pile the door without a care.

One hand dabs the blood on my forehead with the now ruined sleeves of this jacket, another quietly slides open the back door. Thank fuck mum left it open for me. I patter across the house, making it successfully to my bedroom without waking anyone. I really can’t deal with a talk right now; I wouldn’t know what to tell them. I’d probably just start crying again until someone drove up to Eva’s house and dragged her son across the front lawn. I almost smile at the thought of it. It’s just a bit too soon.

But it’s not too soon to change out of my party clothes into a comfortable hoodie to drown in. I patch up my knees before I tug on some sweatpants. Then in the bathroom, I wash off the makeup and patch up the rest. It’s gonna be bad, bruised. A lot of fun explaining to do but at least saying I was clumsy isn’t far from the truth.

Then, no doubt between despair and also anger, I grab Kev’s discarded, make-up-stained, and blood-soaked jacket. I really don’t want to wake anyone up, but this has to be done, it’s all my brain can think about. Over months of self-doubt and heartache over a stupid boy, I at least deserve to give myself the closure he didn’t give me. I creep outside again. Extremely carefully. Like- giving a cat burglar a run for their money, carefully. Stepping over the creaks and placing my feet down extra lightly. I can now enjoy the crisp night air, all snuggled up. A hoodie that smells like me, one that Kev had never even seen.

Without hesitation, I throw this stupid relic, the last remnants of our bond, into the fit pit. I don’t look away even when the smoke makes my eyes water.

I keep the fire burning until dawn, sneaking in once to grab my dinner. There is an unexplainable peace I felt at devouring the heated up leftovers, and of course, a nice big cup of hot chocolate to remedy my scrapes and bruises.

Mum finds me in the dewy morning, shivering and dull-eyed, still tending to the ashes of the flames I lit. Not a scrap of Kevin remained.

- Two Months Later-

A full house, a busy basement. A room full of smoke and sin, now a rather normal setting for me.

My eyes are dry and glassy, I giggle at the feeling as I place the bong back on the painted coffee table. I’d already spent way too long staring at the detailed cartoonish characters but whenever there was a lull in the conversation, I’d find myself drifting back to it, even when there was plenty of eye candy around the room to check out.

“Nina, thank you for being a clingy bitch.” I sigh as I sink into the plush if not kind of gross couch, smiling down at her grinning reaction.

“Nooo, thank you for being my social anxiety rock.” Nina nuzzles against my legs from her place cross-legged on the floor. She’s almost too cute in this setting, the blond curls tied up in a bun slowly falling apart, and a loud tie die tee that only she could pull off, I’m almost tempted to tell her she looked more at home here than half the people in this basement.

“I’d say get a room.” The familiar stranger next to me, a girl I think from the year above me, jokes, “But what’s a good friendship without an abundance of homoerotic subtext?”

“Mm, true. I’ll keep my intentions questionable Laura.” Nina winks, and reaches for a lighter.

Sure, I said this time I’d be sober, but that basically went straight-out the window the moment I entered Eddie’s overly familiar basement. Well, Eddie's now out of school so I suppose I’d have the right to call it his sister’s hang out now?

They both have the luxury of frequently absent parents and use that freedom, or rather misuse, for it to basically be an open house for all their friends’ mischievous endeavours. Drugs and parties mainly. It’s not always this full on, all the times I have been over it’s actually been pretty quiet. Casual movie nights eating edibles or being introduced to DnD. Any grander party was spread out to more outgoing groups.

So, it was defiantly strange to see the whole house this full.

Some of Eddie’s older friends offered as soon as I arrived, but band-tee and ripped jean wearing Laura swooped in like a mother hen and didn’t let us touch anything else but her own personal stash.

“Trust most of these sloths haven’t washed their gear since they bought it, don’t want mold in your lungs do ya?” She lectured, “And the blunts might be laced, they are collage sleezebags babe. Wouldn’t put it past them.” It felt nice to be looked after.

She said she swore she knew me from a previous night out but I swore I didn’t remember her. We’ve concluded I was just a bit to blacked on Xan’s and tequila, which seems fair. I’ve sort of been putting anything offered into my body for the past two months. It’s even felt pretty good, I can’t lie. And no one has even pretended to be worried. Any and all breakup sadness is pretty much erased in drugs, which I know know know is stupid and I have to stop before it’s, like, stealing from mum’s wallet bad. But just for today, tonight, I let myself relax against that worrisome tide of thoughts and smoke.

The next hit Nina takes is way too strong and she ends up blank faced and staring at the canopy covered ceiling, I let her head rest between my knees and lightly play with her escaping hair. Laura gets knocked closer to me and another guest squeezes themselves onto the couch.

“We are at capacity dude!” She groans over her shoulder, then smiles back to me. “This scene is fun and all but by god do I miss like, bike rides am I right?”

“I don’t even remember the last time I rode a bike.” That’s a lie, I do. It involved a certain dark-haired archer and a craving for strawberry milk. I still pass that convenience store every other day.

“I know right?” Laura gawks, eyes rolling playfully, “Free entertainment we never use. Oh, you owe me for the weed by the way.”

“Figures, I’ll pay for Nina too.” I pull out the bills I prepared beforehand from my pocket. Of course, I knew this was going to happen. Nina always ends up owing someone money. And last time she snorted coke that wasn’t hers was the last time I’d arrived at a party without what I dub ‘bail money’. “She’s broke as ever. I think her last dollar went to a parking ticket.”

“Fuck those, government cash grabs.” She accepts my cash, pulling out a twenty from the stack and handing it back without a single word. Huh, how generous.

“So,” She leans in mischievously, “Guys or girls?” Yeah, no playing around with this one, Laura has turned out to be overly comfortable with strangers.

“Uh-” I’m taken aback by her abrupt quizzing. This usually wouldn’t be the type of question to stir me at parties, but for the longest time I’d become accustomed by answering ‘taken’. The fact that I now can't use it as an option hit me, and I'm left speechless for a second..

“Shhe-” Slurred Nina, suddenly stirring to life after talk of money had passed over, “Is attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses only.”

“Doesn’t that sum it up.” I snort, thankful for the intrusion.

“Oh, stupid crush or bad break up? No don’t even answer, it’s a terrible topic to talk about when high.” Laura shakes her head, “Once on LSD I spent like an hour crying over my Ex to this random at a club. She broke up with me for, wait for it, my cousin.”

“Cunt!” I gape in playful offense, hand to my sternum as Nina and me give our “awws” in sympathy.

“I know right?” She rolls her eyes, absentmindedly rubbing her neck, “Doesn’t matter, they moved away now. Separately I might add. So, I just…don’t even have to see them anymore.”

“Did you get over it?” Nina asks without even thinking about how rude it might sound, but Laura just laughs and moves to stand up.

“Yeah actually. It’s whatever now but shit, could’ve saved me the months of dating.” Ah, she gets it. “I’m gonna pee, please save my spot?”

“Will do.” Nina agrees. They switch places in different tones, Laura having practiced balance and grace, while my stoned friend lazily crawls up to park her butt on the now vacant space on the couch, “Safe~ In exchange, please get me snacks from the kitchen, I am hungry!”

“One order of munchies on the way babe.” Our senior stalks off with a wink and a wave, then disappears up the stairs.

As she does, a familiar set of legs descend and I choke.

Fuck, now how could I forget, this isn’t just some random party. In-between the unplanned smoking and getting my heart fluttering around Laura, it slipped my mind that I was never going to come here. Not when I heard he was invited.

I’d been avoiding him at every single opportunity I could. I think he was too. Wait, no, there isn’t a “think” in that, everything Kevin does is intentional.

That’s why I’m pleased as fuck when I see the brief surprise in his eyes as he descends into the suffocating tendrils of smoke.

- Kevin –

She didn’t come to school for a week.

I was way past the phase of “beginning to worry”, because the truth was my anxiety begun the same night we parted. She should have gotten home fine in theory. Observant, strong, and a good runner, especially in a bind. No doubt she didn’t need a chaperone for the walk, yet it didn’t put my mind at ease. I wouldn’t be able to text and check if she got home safe. I wouldn’t know anything until I saw her at school again.

Every step back to my house that night was a battle, as thoughts of her ending up dead on the news, though as impossible as the odds were, invaded my rational thought. That was in between the foreign feeling of tears streaming down my face. I hoped like a computer virus this unpacking of emotions would be wiped clean after sobbing until I was an unsightly mess in the driveway, but any numbness I felt afterward was temporary.

My room felt a little emptier than before, I’d spent the weeks leading up to the break up slowly getting rid of her belongings. Little things at first, forgotten hair ties and stationery. Then books she’d gifted with the mischievous smile of harboring an inside joke, one I’d figure out if I read the damn thing. Of course I did, I read all of them. Then, with the weight of losing all those annotated pages with her scribblings, doodles, and cute messages, I promptly burned all of them.

It would have been difficult to lose her all at once, though not to delude myself, losing her at all is still painful. But now, my room barren of her traces, it weighed on me that I finally accomplished it. Cut off the last loose ends. Connection to humanity, or, something. Whatever you would call it. I wonder would I even be willing to shoot her, if I went through with it. Would she guess it, see it coming? Or is there still enough blind faith to interrupt her better judgment as I lead the sheep to their slaughter.

Oh, that’s, no, the fuck? What the fuck am I even thinking, after that messy night it’s just time to sleep and forget about the evening.

I didn’t go to sleep instantly, making a point to take a shower as if I could wash off this whole situation- I mean at least I could wash off the beer, sweat and tears. Then crawling naked under the sheets, tossing and turning under the suddenly uncomfortable sheets, failing at quelling the thoughts of her not making it home safe, a guilty portion of my brain remembers one item of hers I didn’t get rid of. One I tell myself I’m too tired to throw out, I’ll do tomorrow, I defiantly won’t forget. A stupid T-shirt tucked right in the back of my purposefully unfilled wardrobe.

I defiantly don’t fall asleep to escape that thought.

When she didn’t show up on Monday, the war of conflicting emotions begun their battle. Of course, there was immense relief from not having to face her. Who would want to see their ex so quickly after a breakup? The best medicine is forgetting, avoiding. She was probably feeling the same, maybe even sick from the cold walk home. Maybe she was avoiding the History pop quiz. Normal reasons.

But then the other side of my mind begged to differ. The panic of not being able to text and ask if she became a dead body on the weekend. If she was having a depressive spiral. Would it be good or bad if she wanted to transfer schools?

At least Tuesday brought the answer that she was sick, as I’d overheard her friends talking. But that didn’t tell me how sick. When she was coming back or…. if she was coming back.

Damn, I hated not knowing things. It certainly was a new feeling; one I really could’ve gone without.

The entire week was dragging on as she didn’t appear, day after day. Uneventful class after boring lunchtime periods. I really should have been reveling in this freedom. Time to work on the plan, time in my own head with my own thoughts. It had to be just the shock of pace changing. I could not stay like this forever.

Wait stay like what, again? Heartbroken- wait no. That’s not fucking it. I did my time, I cried, I got over it.

What’s the problem of moving on? Sure, it was a feeling I’d never experienced before. But once the initial shock and fear of all those new sensations wore out, my so-called love for her just melts into a period where I was doing unnecessary and distractive activities. I just wanted to see what the fuss was about, yeah.

Why is it so impossible to convince myself this time around? Years of confidence, following the role of a narcissistic psychopath. I’d never stumbled, not like this.

Next Monday, with immense relief of a tidal wave, she entered the classroom. Instantly shattered by noticing her physical state.

Sure, nothing seemed too out of the ordinary when she, completely ignoring me, waltzed over to her friends, reuniting with hugs and smiles. She quickly explained away the old bruising, week-old bruising I noted, on her face. A scabbing gash on her forehead that I bet could have concussed her, hidden under some sneaky hair placement and light makeup. Though that made my heart sink, I wondered, have they noticed her paling skin and darkened eye bags? Do they see how disconnected from the world her mind seemed? Because they better. I wasn’t here for her anymore, and pushed down the guilt her state caused me.

How did she get the injuries? I wanted to know what she was doing all week. It was really chewing at me. And that was unproductive. As she took her seat, I bit my tongue and forced my head down. If I was going to get better from whatever my brain wasn’t letting go of, I’d have to do what I did best. Overwork and disconnect from reality. I’d have to forget what was right in front of me. A walking, talking reminder of the past. Still alive, but dead in all sense but physical.

I’d spend the next few weeks with her ghost surrounding me. Tuning out her voice, memorizing her walking patterns to avoid clashing. Making sure we were never at the same gatherings or parties, which I’m sure she was too.

And for weeks, I swear I could still see her out of the corner of my eye as I picked up the bow, practicing for what was to come. She’d still be candidly relaxing in the grass, lying down, feet up, chin resting in her palm. She was always watching away, hyper-focused, and judging my every move.

“Hope it was worth it.” Her mouth moved but I didn’t hear the words so much as visualize them, every syllable punctuated, angry and disappointed. I had no answer for her, and instead drew back the bowstring, hitting the bullseye.

- MC -

It was earlier at school that day, he’d been chatting up the rabble and that included Eddie’s sister, being invited over for the house party.

So now I knew he was going, and that meant that event was off-limits to me. Later in class that day I’d been asked, within his earshot, if I was going to the event, I naturally declined, making some sort of excuse. The importance was that’s how we usually coordinated our territory. One of us declined or accepted an invite out loud so the other knew. But after two months, I was getting really sick of it. Why not just act like normal exes that can be around each other? I really didn’t have a problem going to a massive party with him in it. We wouldn’t even see each other a lot, he’s already proved to me he can disappear in a crowd.

He hears me decline, so if he shows up tonight, he’ll be in for a bit of a shock. I wonder if he’ll get the message that I don’t care, see it as a war declaration, or maybe not even notice. Probably the latter, actually. I think I forget that, he really doesn’t give a second thought about me these days. So yeah, I’m tired of playing this silly game of who owns which party and hangout.

Though, I’d be lying if I didn’t consider backing out of this plan until Nina triple texted me in a hurry, telling me she was too nervous to go by herself and get high alone, in a room full of strangers. Who could say no when she added three crying face emojis right after?

- Kevin -

It’s a miracle I didn’t miss a step and fall down the stairs, what the hell is she doing here?

My stoic mask drops just a hint as we make eye contact, she probably wasn’t planning on locking eyes either, as she quickly drops my gaze and I follow suit. Though not after noticing that she was indeed getting high which she knows I didn’t like her doing previously, but live your life it’s whatever. Apart from pissing me off by apparently deciding the rules didn’t apply anymore to not show up to the same event, why is she cuddling up so tightly with Nina? I mean they are practically lovebirds snuggling on the couch, the blonde’s leg casually linked around her ankle-

Don’t think about it. Don’t think about it. Why are you thinking about it? Shit, I came down here to talk with, who again?

I try to make the break in my stride look natural, blood pumping so vigorously I could hear my heartbeat. And to my better judgment, I don't side-eye her as I walk past the couch. This is just a new scenario, albeit unwelcome. A challenge even. We don’t actually have to talk. Just exist in each other’s presence, pretend that this isn’t becoming as daunting as a knife fight.

Now that she saw me here, I’ll have to show some face before I leave, otherwise I'll just look chicken running away. That is a bother, since I’m pretty sure the smoke in here is potent enough to get high on fumes.

- MC -

I don’t want to laugh, I should be at peace with seeing him, and maybe slightly irritated. But the look on his face was priceless and I struggle to hide a giggle into Nina’s shoulder. It’s like I finally, even if for a moment, was a step above him. Then of course the panic I’ve been dreading floods through, sinking me lower into the hold of Nina’s arms; This may have actually been a mistake.

It’s not as if I’m seeing him again for the first time, heck, I even saw him earlier in the day. But that was in the only setting I’d become used to seeing him. Hidden away in the back of a classroom, or halfway across the school campus. An unavoidable fortress of the education system, confining us together without consent.

Ok, I might have considered moving schools’ the week of the breakup. Explaining myself to my mum that morning, freezing and injured in front of a dying flame, was mildly humiliating for me, if not worrying for her. Of course, parents aren’t oblivious, they were teenagers once too; she was worried more about bullying or assault. I could have played into that, quickly changed to a high school on the other side of town. The commute may have been longer, and I would have to begin the whole cycle of making new friends again. But moving just because I was a little heartbroken seemed silly, especially since Kev still lived nearby, and we shared a few acquaintances. NO- the mess of moving school wouldn’t help anything; I’d just be dragging myself deeper into denial.

I just spent a week being depressed enough to qualify as a 18th-century poet, went on a heartbreak diet of tea and, frankly not much else, then cleaned up my act as soon as I came back to school. Apart from the more-then-occasional drug use. I was fine. I am fine.

But back to the intruder of the room, suddenly seeing Kev outside of school for the first time since, well, the night, I couldn’t say I hated it. Couldn’t say it didn’t make me feel like a caged rat either.

Nina had defiantly noticed my discomfort, my shoulders stiffened, and my back angled uncomfortably against the couch when I subconsciously slid further into it. She had been lazily smooshed against my body, almost cat-like, singing along to whatever song was playing. I hadn’t recognized most songs that came from the stereo, carelessly shoved into the corner of the basement. The lyrics slowly fade out from her as she turns at my unease.

“Hey, you alright? You’ve gone a bit stiff.” Her voice was sleepy, but still genuinely concerned.

I realize I have the opportunity to play it off as a bad trip, but I can’t; I really want to get higher. I decide to do just that and fix my position. I give her a sigh, sitting up, and reach towards my prize on the coffee table. The bowl was still packed with enough to take a few good hits without grinding up more, I don’t think Laura would appreciate me misusing her good will.

Nina is still confused as I silently pull in the smoke, throat burning and eyes watering. But I’m not going to leave her hanging. After draining whatever mystery drink I had in my cup, almost forgotten on the table, I place everything back and lean into the safety of my friend. My mouth close to her ear.

“Don’t look, but Kev just strolled in.” I whisper it, trying to move my mouth as little as possible. I mean, the basement was big and loud, but I’d rather lose a limb than let him know I was gossiping. Nina scrunches up her face, scoffing without a care of confidentiality. Ok, don’t make it obvious babe.

“No really? Ugh. Do you want to leave? We can leave if he’s making things uncomfortable.” She’s genuine about that, but I just shake my head.

“Why would he make things uncomfortable?” Could have made a better response than that, I’m still battling not to look over and check what he’s doing.

“Do you think I’m oblivious?” She rolls her eyes at me, “You were like, so depressed when you broke up with that psycho. Your face was all bashed in-“

“I fell.” I correct, as I have multiple times to many people after my injuries were questioned. Not that our relationship was a big secret, but it almost surprised me how many of my friends suspected he was becoming physically abusive and that’s why we broke up. Yeah, the emotional manipulation towards the end, that was a deep hurt for sure. But he was never even that physical when it came to candid touching.

“Yeah, well, you went a bit weird on us when you broke up. Actually, it was already sort of weird when you were dating him.” Her voice drifts off at the end a bit, touching a sore subject.

“First time I’m hearing that.” I groan, unamused.

“Yeah well, no one wanted to say anything. He’s just kind of, I don’t know. Offputting. C’mon, you’d know best! He just gives off these vibes, like he knows a secret we don't. And he's got this weird narcissistic complex. I'm not that into psychology, but I can feel when something's up.” Nina babbles on.

She wouldn’t be wrong with that one. Learning who Kevin is, habits, traits and thoughts, was like finding out an uncanny secret. Parts that shouldn’t work, a design that seemed like a flawed structure. Then, you would dig deeper and find out it was you who didn’t understand. There was a certain magic around Kev that could either pull you in so close it was suffocating, or, well push you away. In either fear or uncertainty.

Well, I shouldn’t give him much praise for that, since I have to remember the manipulation. How he sees people as malleable, either useful or not. Not wholly like a psychopath, at least what I believed, it was more how he preferred to function. Both a rebellious act to the status quo, to the privileged upbringing he resented, and also practical to his nature. Which happens to also be his downfall.

“Let’s not talk about this Nina, I was just letting you know.” I sigh in annoyance.

I don’t want to talk about him, and I haven’t. This is beyond personal, it was forbidden. When that part of my life ended, it was burned away. Literally. I know my friends want me to open up, you can’t just break up with someone and not have a good bitch session about it. But I refused to indulge them with my rants. I couldn’t say he was some asshole I dated. He was an enigma I fell in love with, and I didn’t understand him enough. Of course, he dropped me. I was boring him, right?

Ugh, no not that thought spiral. No speculating on why.

I just told everyone the relationship was over. Just like that. Putting out a flame. No dramas or cheating or infighting. Defiantly no abuse. There was just nothing left. Not enough to keep us together and too much to pull us apart.

Don’t make it any more complicated than that.

“I’m being annoying, aren’t I? I’m soorrryy.” She rubs her cheek against mine, ok defiantly cat-like, and I giggle out an apology. Just then Laura returns.

“Hey, sorry that took a while.” Instead of moving to sit down she puts a hand on her hip and points her thumb back to the stairs. “Ed is being a real brat about letting me take food down here so we might have to move this to the living room. No smoking upstairs though.”

“Checks out.” I sigh. Nina is reluctant to stand but I pull her up anyways, “C’mon. Pizza time.”

“Mmm, and maybe some fresh air too I am suffocating”

Yeah, this room may be suffocating, but for many other reasons.

[awalkoflife-arc]

Continued from ( x ) with @brxvxsoul / Harrison + Harlow !

❛ You don't owe me anything, Har. ❜ He shakes his head, letting her know that a thank you isn't necessary. They left together hand in hand, something he made sure that her ex witnessed. ❛ If he tries to contact you again, I'll knock him the fuck out. ❜ Harrison's hoping it won't come to that, but after months of watching his friend suffer, he's finally had enough. Harlow didn't deserve any of it, the threats, the harassment, the constant showing up outside of her apartment, the one just down the hall from his own. It's why he agreed to be her 'date' this evening, something he should have done a long time ago. ❛ Since we're all dressed up, you want to grab something to eat? ❜ He asks, having worked up an appetite from all of the pretending. ❛ I got fuck all to eat back at the apartment, but you wanna maybe go to that Thai place we were talking about last week? Dinner's on me since I'm technically still your date. You got me all night long, Cinderella. 'Til the clock strikes twelve --- maybe later, if you're lucky. ❜

[hisadoringkitten]

Being home this week has been incredibly hard...

I can't help but feel like something has shifted... I struggled hard with the drop after last weekend. You seemed to as well, a bit. I don't know if it's that or something else, but something feels off.

We've still talked a lot, I know there's a lot on your plate, especially with having to stay on top of the apartments while we figured out which unit is best and formulate a game plan. We finally figured it out yesterday and I worked on the application today. I'm waiting to hear back before I can continue and they've not been particularly responsive.

Yesterday was my son's birthday. We talked in the morning and throughout the day until they came home from their last day of school. I tried so hard to be active and happy and present, but he was not particularly excited about any of it. We let him open his presents before school since he got new shirts, and I figured he'd want to wear one. His responses were lackluster at best, even when he saw his new skateboard that I poured days into painting. My ex did next to nothing. He provided the parts for the board, but they're all used parts from other boards. He sanded and clear-coated the deck and assembled the board, but that's it. He didn't get him anything to open, didn't hype up any of it. We took the kids to Mr Gattis pizza and arcade, where they seemed to have fun but ran through the money on their cards very quickly.

We got home and rested a bit before doing cake and watching a movie. He was very grumpy by the end of the night and would not stop saying it was the worst birthday ever, that he had no fun and that he hates birthdays now. It's gutting, I can't even give him one last great birthday before we're not all a family in his eyes.

Today, the AC in my apartment stopped working. I hate it here. I don't know if my sanity will last another month. I just want to be done with it all.

And on top of all of that and what feels like so much to do before we're out of this place... you seem so distant with me, almost cold. I think something is wrong and I don't know what. I'm sure we'll talk about it at some point, but I'm worried I've frustrated or disappointed you. That I've fucked up somehow and you're not telling me. I'm about to change my whole life, and I need that stability to not feel like I'm in free-fall. It feels like everything has changed after spending time together. I can't help but feel like you got a look at the real me, not the version in your head, and found me lacking. My confidence is shattered, and everything feels like it's hanging by a thread. I'm scared... terrified. I can't sleep, my appetite is non-existent, and I'm having the hardest time focusing on anything. I'm doing what you ask of me... I went out, photographed the garden, had lunch with an old friend, I've kept things amicable with my ex, I've worked on job applications and work for you, I bought the book you wanted me to read and got into it, I've watched my stocks and invested more. I don't think I've dropped the ball on anything but this journal, and I'm catching up on it, too. I even tested the waters by sending you some naughty pictures, but you barely responded.

Whatever it is. I'm sorry.