#but he's gotta date her as bruce wayne while protecting her as batman

[batbabydaily]

detective comics #53: viola vane

[prettyyoungandbored]

Becoming Mrs. Wayne [The Dark Knight] Three

Pairing: Christian Bale!Bruce Wayne x OC

Summary: Demetria Gallagher knew her cozy life would change the second she became engaged to Bruce Wayne. But what she doesn’t know is she’s getting more than what she agreed to. (I am trash at summaries.)

Warning: Language, Minor Panic Attack

Taglist: @dragonballluver

Previous Chapter

“We have an issue.”

Jack closed the door behind him. Jack was a college friend of Demetria and Harvey who co-ran a moving company with his brother, Max, in Gotham. He’d been there to help Demetria move in to the one bedroom so it was a no-brainer to ask him to help her move.

Demetria looked up she loaded the last box ontop of the dolly

“What broke?” She asked, the knot in her stomach tightening.

He waved his hand reassuringly “Nothing broke. Everything is secured in the truck.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

“There’s some paparazzi outside.”

She rolled her eyes and groaned. “You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me.” 

“It’s not a whole lot. Just like two, maybe three.” 

“No it’s definitely three,” Max confirmed as he glanced from out the window. 

Demetria threw her hands up as she walked over to the window, Jack trailing right behind her. The three of them watched as across the street, three men stood around with cameras in their hands.

She could think a few ways they could’ve gotten her address. One was from the Gotham Gossip, the other was someone at GCN tipped off the Gotham Times who also tipped off some other publication. 

“Should I call the cops?” Demetria asked.

“Yeah, that’s gonna go over real well,” Max snorted.

“Well, what am I supposed to do?”

“Just keep going and ignore them, I guess,” Jack shrugged. “Best you can do.”

She closed her eyes. “I thought I had more time before I had to deal with this.”

“Can you call Bruce?” Jack asked. 

She shook her head. “He’s at work.” She stepped back. “We’ve got these boxes left and then it’s over.” 

She began rolling the dolly when Max stopped her. “Let us do that.” 

“And have them catch me empty handed? Not a chance.” 

“Fair enough.” 

She quickly went into her purse, grabbing her keys and iPod with earphones wrapped around it. She shoved the iPod in her back pocket. “Here’s the plan. Jack, give the keys to Mrs. O’Neill. She’s in the room 301. Tell her I say ‘thanks for everything.’ Max, take one last look around and make sure nothing is getting left behind, alright? I’ll meet you two in the truck.”

Both men nodded their heads. She grabbed her purse and swung it over her shoulder, She rolled the dolly out into the hallway and into the elevator. 

Upon getting inside, she let out a deep sigh and rubbed her temple. She could feel her throat closing in and chest tightening, a sign she needed to do her breathing exercises. She inhaled slowly, holding it in for seven seconds before breathing out. 

She knew she would eventually have to deal with it when Bruce wouldn’t be around, but as she’d said, she thought she had time. Either way, she’d had to deal with it and it looked like today was the day to begin doing so.

She put her earbuds in as Fleetwood Mac’s “The Chains” filled her ears. 

The doors opened and she rolled the dolly out into the lobby, watching the men across the street watch her moves. She inhaled and exhaled slowly. 

“Here goes nothing,” she mumbled. 

She opened the door with one hand and pushed the the dolly with the other. The men hurried across street, their cameras flashing her as they stood on the street.

She kept her eyes on the truck and even with the pounding of Mick Fleetwood’s drums and Lindsey Buckingham and Stevie Nick’s powerful vocals, she could still hear the men yelling at her.

“Demetria, where’s Bruce?”

“Demetria are you moving in with Bruce?”

“When’s the wedding?”

“Give us a smile!”

“Demetria is it true you dated Harvey Dent prior to being with Bruce?”

She pulled her lips back, mentally reminding herself that responding to them would only make things worse.

She rolled the dolly into the back of the truck, setting her purse down before unloading the boxes. She knew they were there, watching her unloading, and photographing her from behind. While her throat really started closing in, she continued to breathe. She then put the empty dolly up against a box before grabbing her purse and going down the ramp. She kept her head down as she made her way into the driver’s area of the truck. 

Closing the door, she could still see them photographing her from in front of the car. She kept her eyes down as she pulled out her phone and began texting Bruce. 

Heading to the mansion in a bit. There’s paparazzi outside my place but everything is fine. 

She leaned her head back, continuing her breathing exercises when her phone buzzed. She looked down to find it a text from Bruce. 

Are you alright? Are you safe? 

I’m fine. I’ll see you tonight. Love you. 

Jack and Max got into the driver’s area with Jack at the wheel and Max right beside Demetria so she was in the middle. 

“Vans all closed up and everything is good,” Jack said. “Let’s move out.” 

The paparazzi moved off to the side as the van pulled forward before driving off. 

“How much do either of you want to bet that I’m going to be criticized for not wearing a seatbelt?” Demetria brought up.

 ____________________________________________________________

As they loaded boxes into the storage area of Wayne Manor, Demetria kept looking over to see the mansion. 

It was still being fixed, with certain areas built and ready, while others were covered in tarp. 

Bruce had shown her photos of what it looked like prior to the fire. For a mansion, it wasn’t overly designed, but rather cozy and the kind of place a kid would be lucky to call home. She’d hope that when it would finally be rebuilt that it would look exactly how it did. Knowing Bruce’s attachment to the house, it probably would. 

“So this is where you’ll be?” Max asked. 

“Yep,” she responded popping the “p”. “We’re moving in the second it’s ready.” 

“I remember when this place burned down,” Jack said. “Real shame. But I heard Wayne’s all cozy and whatnot in his penthouse.”

Demetria shrugged. “It’s just an apartment.” 

“Yeah with a helicopter pad,” Max snorted. 

Bruce’s wealth was a big topic of discussion that Demetria’s mother and older brother would bring up with her and it made her sick to her stomach. “It’s not that big of a deal.” 

“Demetria, can I ask you something?” Jack brought up, as he set down a box. “Are you...are you two planning on having a prenup?”  She cocked her head back. “Excuse me?” 

Jack and Max exchanged looks. “Look, I know he’s your fiancé,” Jack began, “but I mean, the guy is known for having a new girlfriend each month.” 

“Hell, sometimes it’s weekly thing,” Max chimed in. 

Demetria folded her arms across her chest, anger boiling up inside. “What’s your point?” 

Jack sighed. “Look, don’t get defensive...”

“Jack, what is your point?” 

He eyed Max. “I just wanna make sure you’re taken care of incase he hurts you or...you know...” 

“I’m fine,” she retorted. “Our relationship is fine. I’m aware of who he’s been with, but it’s not like that. If everyone stopped believing in this idea they conjured up about him based on the bullshit gossip magazines write about him, they’d see he’s actually kind and smart and thoughtful. Yea, he dated and slept around, but like you guys haven’t?” 

She turned to Max. “I couldn’t even keep up with your count after sophomore year.” 

She turned to Jack. “You know the lengths he went to to keep our relationship a secret so that not only I could keep my job, but that he would protect me from get hounded by the fucking press every night? If he wanted to leave, he could’ve. I gave him every chance to, but he refused. Thank you for you concern, but we’re gonna be just fine.” 

She walked away leaving Jack and Max alone. 

Her phone vibrated as she made her way back to the van. She pulled it out to find a text message from Bruce. 

I love you too. More than anything. I can’t wait til’ you’re all mine. 

______________________________________________________________

Hours later, Demetria entered the Wayne Enterprises building. She made her way to the front desk and by the time she opened her mouth to speak, the woman at the desk beat her to the punch. 

“He’s on the 24th floor. Top of the building. ” 

She gave the woman a nod. “Thanks.” 

She made her way into the elevator and pressed the button. She was thankful to have the elevator to herself when a man with balding, blonde hair rushed in. She gave him a friendly smile and watched as she reached over and pressed the button with ‘18′ on it. 

She could feel his eyes on her and she adjusted her purse on her shoulder, keeping her eyes in front of her. 

“You’re Bruce Wayne’s fiancé, right?” he spoke up. 

She looked over and gave him a small, but friendly smile. “Yeah, I am.” 

“Coleman Reese. I’m the mergers and acquisitions law accountant.”  “Nice to meet you.” 

She looked away but could still feel his eyes on her. She began playing with the engagement ring, hoping he’d take a hint. 

“Wayne really shelled out big ones for the ring, huh?” he spoke up. 

She laughed nervously, shrugging. “I wouldn’t know.” 

She pulled back her lips, wondering why his eyes wouldn’t leave hers. At this point she couldn’t tell if he was just weird, nosy, attempting to make a move, or just trying to make conversation. Either way, she hoped it would end soon. 

“You worked for Gotham City News, right?” he asked. 

Jesus Christ, dude, she thought to herself.

“Uh, yea, I did.” 

“Just out of curiosity, did any one there ever do some digging on the identity of the Batman?” 

She furrowed her eyebrows, holding her in her urge to ask him why the fuck he was asking her this. “I...I’m not entirely sure. I was just a junior talent booker there. I wasn’t involved with the stories reporters worked on.” 

The elevators doors then opened, her heart leaping with excitement. Coleman gave her a disappointed, but kind nod as he left. “Nice to meet you.” 

“You as well,” she responded. 

The second the doors closed, she mumbled, “The fuck was that?” 

Reaching the 24th floor, Demetria got off the elevator and wandered around looking for Bruce’s office when she heard someone say, “Miss Gallagher, I presume?” 

She turned around to see a gentleman with grey hair and a warm smile approach her. She recognized him as Lucius Fox, Wayne Enterprises’ CEO. 

“Lucius, hi! I’ve heard so much about you,” Demetria remarked, holding out her hand.

He shook it. “And I you, Miss Gallagher. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you. Bruce talks a lot about you” 

“Well hopefully he only tells you good things. Speaking of which, where’s his office?” 

Lucius laughed. “I’ll show you.” 

The two walked side by side, as Demetria’s eyes fell to the glass windows. “How do you guys get anything done with a view like this?” 

“We do our best.”

He directed her to an office with glass windows all around, her smile widening at the sight of Bruce staring at something on his desk.

Bruce’s face lit up, closing the binder on his desk.“Sweetheart, what’re you doing here?”

She wrapped her arms around Bruce’s waist. “I just wanted to drop by and say ‘Hi’, and thanks to Lucius I was able to find you.” 

Bruce smiled at Lucius. “I hope she didn’t give you much trouble.” 

Lucius grinned. “Not at all.” He eyed the binder. “Is that the full report you wanted me to look at?” 

“Yeah, I made some adjustments you’re gonna want to look over.” 

“Will do. Demetria, a pleasure.” 

“Wonderful to meet you as well, Lucius.” 

Her eyes scanned Bruce’s office, admiring the mahogany wood that shine at the touch of the sun. It was organized down to a tee, not a single paper sticking out from the stack. The decor was kept to a minimum, not a single photo album anywhere. 

“I’m glad you stopped by,” Bruce said. “I have a present for you.” 

Demetria turned to him. “Is that so?” 

“Consider it a moving in gift.” 

“I told you I didn’t need you to-.” She cut herself off when he handed her a manila folder filled with paper. She pulled her lips back, holding back laugher. “A folder and some documents. How romantic.” 

“Open it.” 

She opened the folder to find documents pertaining to Gotham's Saint Swithin's Orphanage, including contact information, funding break downs, etc. The way her eyes crinkled made Bruce’s heart melt. 

“Thank you,” she said, giving him a quick chaste kiss. “This is perfect. I can start making some calls tonight, get a meeting set up-.” 

“Yeah, you might want to wait a couple days.” 

Demetria looked up. “Why’s that?” 

Bruce smiled. “What are your thoughts on setting sail for a couple days?” 

[bluerosette23]

Maribat MASTERLIST ~ Pg1

Maribat Masterlist. (Updated: Feb 22, 2019) 

Page1 >     [Daminette December Masterlist]

by @ozmav​ Damian Wayne  ~  AO3  Damian Always Answers The Phone When Marinette Calls Damian Wayne:Most Overprotective Spouse/Father in BatFam HC  Daminette HC Finding Out  ~  AO3 Heroes and Villains  ~  AO3  Jason VS Adrien  ~  AO3  JL Reaction to Daminette  Lucky Bug & The Rogues  ~  AO3 Kagami Meets Damian  ~  AO3 MariDami Pitch  Of Sleepy Bugs & Worried Birds  ~  AO3  Phone Calls  ~  AO3 Puzzles & Luck  ~  AO3 Quality Time/Moments  ~  AO3 Question Of A Lifetime  ~  AO3 Teen Titans HC Wine Aunts AU/HC

by @18-fandoms-unite-08​ I Didn’t Know I Needed You When You Needed Me Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3  Prompts [Masterlist]  Decision ~ The Demonic Duo ~ Myself, I Will Focus On ~ A Sign ~ I’ve Missed You ~ Wounds ~ It’s Not Your Fault ~ Blood ~ Please Tell Me ~ It’s Been A While, Hasn’t It? ~ Friend Zoned, Hard Zoned ~ I’m Not The One To Blame ~ I Don’t Care, Not Anymore 

by @2sunchild2 A Guy That I’d Kinda Be Into A Pen Pal’s Advice in Butt Kicking Betrothed AU [Prompt] Bird Watching  Daminette AU:Slow Burn Daminette AU: The Disneyland Tragedy Daminette God AU  Genderbend!Daminette  Facetime Failure Happy Birthday Disaster  Hostage [Prompt] I Can Get You A Date With One of Them [Prompt] Just Watch:Daminette AU Male!MarixDamian [Prompt] Retro was Always in Style  They Just Don’t Know You Songfic Totally A Duo [Jasonette] Treasure When Karma Bites Back  

by @7701deathlyhalfbloodprincess Miracles In Gotham  ~  AO3 Prologue ~ CH1

by @a-la-la-llama​  Daminette Song Fic ~ The One Where Marinette Steals The Batmobile Aged Up Daminette Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3  Blueberry Maribat Pt1 ~ Pt2 

by @a-marlene-s​  BioDad!Bruce + Male!Mari  Jason Is Very Picky With Who’s He’s Soft For [Jasonette] Tall!Mari/Short!Damian  Futuristic Miraculous [TerRi] Pt1 ~ Pt2  Gotham Nine-Nine [Timari] (collab with ladylucina28)  Background ~ Ranks ~ Preferred Drink of Choice ~ Mari’s Thoughts on G99 CH1 ~ CH2 ~ CH3  Lady Noir And Red Robin [Timari]  Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3   I Nearly Got Ran Over By The Batmobile: Twitter AU Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 Unknown Reality [Jasonette] Preface ~ Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 

by @akalei Ladybug Young Justice Masterpost ~ Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 ~ Pt6 

by @alexiessan  Never Alone  ~  AO3 Masterlist ~ CH1 ~ CH2 ~ CH3 ~ CH4 ~ CH5 ~ CH6 ~ CH7 ~ CH8 ~ CH9 

by @ali-kitkat Audacity  ~  AO3 CH1 ~ CH2 ~ CH3 ~ CH4  Fear Toxin  ~  AO3 Hisses & Scratches CH1  Summer Gardenia (Valentine’s Special)  Pt1  The Bat’s and Bug’s Prank War Series  ~  AO3 The Beginning Of The End ~ The Plot of Revenge ~ Marinette’s Revenge  What’s A Sham? Our Childhood  ~  AO3  CH1 ~ CH2 

by @alycesaysno Beyond Miraculous  ~  AO3 CH1 ~ CH2 ~ CH3 ~ CH4 ~ CH5 ~ CH6 ~ CH7 

by @amlesi Don’t Lie ~ Trust Me

by AnonymousWriter15 Birds And Butterflies  ~  AO3 

by @aquariusrunes BatFam Meets MLB Meets Edna Mode The Superfriends AU Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt2.5 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 ~ Pt6 ~ Pt7 ~ Pt8 ~ Pt9 ~ Pt10 ~ Pt11 

by @arsaem Marinette’s Balcony Club OG Post ~ Pt1 ~ Pt2 

by @artxyra​  [MASTERLIST] Daminette AU Idea TA Marinette - DC Version  The Robin’s Angel  Thief!Marinette  Untitled Piece #1 Another DC TA Marinette Story Pt1 ~ Pt2 Daminette Twins AU Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5  ML X DCs Titans AU  Timeline ~ Prologue ~ Pt1  Lost In Paris  Pt1  Psychologist Marinette AU Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 

by @aserniccatnip Lady Light  Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3

by @autumnray Swapped Lives Pt1 ~ Pt2 

by @bannananorie  Marinette Todd AU  1 ~ 2 ~ 3 ~ 4 ~ 5 ~ 6 ~ 7 ~ 8 ~ 9 

by @bb-basbusa  BioDad!Bruce Wayne  I Want You Back (Based on miraculous-of-salt story) Pt1 ~ Pt2 

by @black-streak  Little Pistol Prologue ~ Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4  Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting [Timari] Masterlist ~ Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 ~ Pt6 ~ Pt7 ~ Pt8 ~ Pt9 ~ Pt10 ~ Pt11 ~ Pt12 ~ Pt13 ~ Pt14  Waiting For The Worms [Jasonette] Masterlist ~ Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 ~ Pt6 ~ Pt7 ~ Pt8 ~ Pt9 ~ Pt10 ~ Pt11 ~ Pt12 ~ Pt13 ~ Pt14 ~ Pt15 ~ Pt16 ~ Pt17 ~ Pt18 ~ Pt19 ~ Pt20 ~ Pt21 ~ Pt22  Prompts A Challenge for Batman ~ Animalistic Tenencies ~ Babe’s First Murder [Jasonette] ~ Birthday Worth Remembering ~ Breathe ~ Coffee Themed Akuma ~ Employee!Mari ~ Espresso ~ Guardian!Mari ~ Lasso Of Truth [Dickinette] ~ Multimouse!Mari ~ Perfectly Planned ~ Pick-up Line ~ Pregnant!Mari [Jasonette] ~ Revenge ~ Syren Incident (1 ~ 2 ~ 3) ~ Timari Proposal (1 ~ 2) ~ WalMart Shopping [Pre-Dickinette] Maribat March D1 ~ D2 ~ D3 ~ D4 ~ D5 ~ D6 ~ D7 ~ D8 ~ D9 ~ D10 ~ D11 ~ D12 ~ D13 ~ D14 ~ D15 ~ D16 ~ D17 ~ D18 ~ D19 ~ D20 ~ D21 ~ D22 ~ D23 ~ D24 ~ D25 ~ D26 ~ D27 ~ D28 ~ D29 ~ D30 ~ D31 

by @blooming-rose-writings MLB X DC Spiderverse AU Info ~ Pt1 

by @bonbonbun-luna​  Youtuber AU Alone In Paris  CH1 ~ CH2 

by @bravescribbles Power Couple Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 

by @cadenceh2o Broken Hearts And Empty Ones  Love Story Daminette  Hogwart Daminette AU CH1~ CH2 ~ CH3 ~ CH4 ~ CH5 ~ CH6 ~ CH7 ~ CH8 ~ CH9 ~ CH10  Lordbug, Robin and Kitty Noir CH1 ~ CH2 ~ CH3 ~ CH4 ~ CH5 ~ CH6 ~ CH7 ~ CH8 ~ CH9 ~ CH10 ~ CH11  MLBDC AU Pt1 ~ Pt2

by @caffeinetheory  Steph And Mari Meet [SpoilBug] Investigation Games [Timari]  CH1  Safe House AU [LadyArrow] Ideas ~ CH1 ~ CH2 ~ CH3 ~ CH4  Jasonette Prompts Everything Stays(1) ~ There’s Gotta Be A Reason(2) ~ Flower Shop AU ~ Nighttime Cuddles LadyArrow Prompts I Can’t Do This Anymore ~ Wayne Gala Timari Prompts School AU ~ Coffee Shop AU ~ Soulmate AU Timari Week  D1 ~ D2 ~ D3 ~ D4 ~ D5 ~ D6 ~ D7  Maribat Monday  1 ~ 2-Promises ~ 3-Blackout ~ 4-Celebration ~ 5-Under The Sea ~ 6-Heartfelt ~ 7-Protection 

by @calliopeia  Love Alarm Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 ~ Pt6 ~ Pt7 ~ Pt8 ~ Pt9  On The Other Side Of The Mirror  ~  AO3   Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5  Next Time You Ask A Favor, Make Sure It Won’t Kill Me [Timari]  ~  AO3 Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 

by @carrisarune Fairy Wings AU The Beginning ~ What Happens Next

by @cassiopeiathequeen A Different Kind Of Green  Frayed Edges And Forgotten Love   Girlfriend Troubles [Marijon]  I’ll Start Now [TimxChloe] If I Could Tell Her [Jasonette] Maritime Madness [Jasonette] My Secret Santa [Roy/Mari/Jay] Please Don’t Take My Sunshine Away [Wallynette]  ~  AO3  Rewrite The Stars Songfic [Jasonette] Wait, Wait, You’re My Kid? [Timari]  ~  AO3 A Pocket Knife and A Gun [Jasonette]  ~  AO3 Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 Birthday Shenanigans (Pt1 ~ Pt2  ~ AO3)   Can We Keep Him? [Jasonette]  ~  AO3  CH1 ~ CH2 ~ CH3 ~ CH4 ~ CH5 ~ CH6  Let Me Hold Your Heart [Dickinette] Pt1  Ocean Eyes And Saltwater Tears [Timari]  ~  AO3 Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 The Friendship of a Ladybug and a Zombie Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 ~ Pt6 ~ Pt7(1 ~ 2) ~ Pt8  The Thread We Share  ~  AO3  CH1(Pt1 ~ Pt2) ~ CH2 ~ CH3 

by @chocolate1721 Bunny Mobile ~ Dick Stuck In A Banana ~ Gala ~ Marinette’s Revenge 

by @chloe-bourgeois-is-big-gay Chlo’s Maribat One-Shots  ~  AO3 Pt1 ~ Pt2 ~ Pt3 ~ Pt4 ~ Pt5 ~ Pt6 ~ Pt7 ~ Pt8 ~ Pt9 Paris is Overrated Anyway  ~  AO3 Pt1 ~ Pt2 

Page1 >     [Daminette December Masterlist]

[choco-glow]

Fall Like Rain On Sunday, Pt. 9

“Asshole cop.” Jason grumbled as they walked back towards the truck, and Steph giggled wildly, her lipstick only just cleaned up from the wipes she kept in her bag, eyes dancing as they made their way through the crowded Saturday night boardwalk, said asshole cop glaring behind them. Sure, they maybe got a little too into making out on the bench, but Jason had been so thrilled by her reference, and Steph was just…absolutely in love with Jason. So. Y’know. One thing led to another and Jason’s hand had crept up her skirt while she’d straddled his lap…

And then Officer O’Grady had blown his whistle. Right in their ears.

“I agree…sorry he got your bad side…” Jason shot her a grateful smile, and she kissed his cheek softly, all sympathy. The explosion when he was fifteen had ruptured his eardrum, and high-pitched sounds bothered the hell out of him on his left side still, which was why his helmet had specialized protective ear guards, and he wore sound-reducing plugs with his domino. It…was perhaps one of the few things that Bruce and Jason had bonded over; Bruce used similar ones for his own cowl, and had adapted Jason’s with regard to the minor hearing loss.

“Eh…At least it didn’t make my tinnitus start up. All he had to do was cough or somethin’…” Steph agreed, and rubbed his back soothingly, smiling as Jason squeezed her shoulder and kissed her temple. As much as she’d liked the idea of the Ferris Wheel…O’Grady was following, she could sense his eyes on her ass, and evidently, so could Jason; he raised his free arm to flip the cop off and hugged her a little closer, arm sliding down to wrap around her waist. Not to grope her, not that Steph would have minded…but she smiled, snuggling in close anyway. It was possessive without making her the possession.

Makes Dean look like the pervert he was. Creep. And Jason and I are what…three years apart? She made a few mental calculations and nodded to herself, satisfied; they were right at three years and two months apart, and while she and Tim were the same age…she had more in common with Jay. More shared life experience, too…

“Babe? You okay there? You look like you’re a million miles away…” Jason murmured, pausing at the entrance to the carpark, and Steph shook herself, smiling up at him.

“Yeah…sorry, was just…thinking about things.”

“…Good things? Bad things?”

“A little bad, then a little good. I promise, I’m okay…just…maybe more tired than I realized.” She winced at that, but Jason just chuckled, warm and sweet.

“I don’t doubt it, we were both up early. As fun as the bench was…how about we head back and get some rest, hmm?”

“Yes please…Um…do…you mind if I ask you to take me home?” His eyes softened at that, dark green with the night, and he kissed her softly, guiding her back over the gravel with care.

“Not at all, sweetheart; besides, I don’t put out on the first date.” Steph burst into giggles at that, and Jason snickered, helping her back up into the truck. He hopped over the hood, every inch the reckless Bat-boy, which made Steph break into more giggles. Joining her in the cab, he swooped in for a kiss that Steph gladly gave, and carefully got them out of the parking space, bitching a little about idiot tourists and shitty drivers as he made his way to the road again. “Goddamn fuckin’ cop could be over here clearing this mess out…”

“At least Penguin’s men have it well-lit again; the city didn’t do shit about that.” Steph growled out, suddenly feeling far more charitable to Cobblepot and his crew. Whatever else Oswald might have once been, fatherhood seemed to have mellowed him immensely, and his mostly-legit wealth was going into things like lighting the Mile, same with Bruce; hell, Bruce had even sent baby gifts, both has Wayne and Batman, since Cobblepot had largely dropped out of the Rogues’ with the birth of his daughter.

“Yeah, I think B thanked him for it the other day, Barb was shocked on the comms because they actually had a polite conversation; he asked about Robin, B asked about Tracey and little Eugenie.”

“Awwwww…I’ll get a purple penguin for her when I go out on patrol tomorrow.” Jason chuckled at that, and Steph relaxed into his shoulder, fine with taking the back roads home to her apartment. Here too, the little improvements had made things better for everyone, not just the wealthy Gothamites; lights brightened the once gloomy alleys, and people, feeling safer, had begun cleaning them up. Dumpsters had been moved to the backs of the buildings, and play areas built, full of beat up toys. Old sawhorses and a few semi-straight boards sporting carefully repaired flowerpots full of cheap herbs and little flowers leaned against the brownstones, painted bright with cheap acrylic and leftover housepaint.

Graffiti artists, once the bane of the neighborhoods, had been given purpose and permission to express themselves via the Wayne Urban Art grants, and now murals of every color covered the once ugly cement walls. Meanwhile the old abandoned lots, once ignored by the city, had been bought up by Wayne Industries and given to the neighborhoods as small leisure areas, with young saplings and soft grass and little free gardens, tended carefully by gardeners hired by Bruce himself.

Crime still ran rampant, of course; hell, that’s why they still had patrols.

But more and more, that crime was white-collar or supervillain; the average Joe was happy to have a good job again, and a place to call home that wasn’t covered in trash and grime. Petty criminals with a family to feed or a dangerous addiction had more avenues for help now, with flyers on every corner, and kind counselors available night and day. And the only requirement was only “if you know someone else who needs us, please bring them here.” Steph approved of that, as did Jason, and Bruce had only smiled and said “I thought of you two when we set that up.” Highest compliment he’s ever given us, I think…it…it really has made a difference. Just in my life alone…

Crystal Brown had been among the first he’d welcomed to the program, and Steph had broken down crying on Bruce’s shoulder the day her mom had come home clean. Really clean now; whatever else might have happened between them, Steph was just glad to have her mom back…and Jason had had much the same reaction, so Alfred had told her, when Roy’d gone through it too. Roy was Jay’s best friend in the whole world…she smiled a little. I’d almost be jealous, but…Cass is my best friend. And if Cass swung that way, I’d have dated her in a heartbeat, I think…I’m not mad that he and Roy were a pair. I’m just glad they’re still friends.

“Gotta say, B’s really made home feel a lot less gentrified, and more…”

“Alive.” She murmured, and Jason nodded, his voice a little tight as he pulled into her apartment’s lot.

“…I was worried, when he started this, that it’d be the Bowery all over again.” He murmured, and she squeezed his arm, taking a deep breath.

“Me too, if we’re being honest here. But…it’s not. It’s not. It’s…what we would have wanted. Hell, he even retrofitted the Starlight with green tech so that the Narrows’ best babysitter didn’t have to close down.” He laughed, soft and sweet, and kissed her forehead.

“Tell me about it, I begged him to bankroll it when I was a kid because…well, it’s the last original roller rink on the East Coast. I couldn’t bear to see it torn down. I think he started doing it after I died…kinda sweet, to be honest.”

“That’s what I would have done…Ooh. We should go skating next time.” Steph mused, and Jason’s answer was in a hot, sweet kiss, his eyes dancing in the streetlights.

“It’s a date. C’mon, I’ll walk you to your door?” He suggested, offering his hand, and Steph let him pull her out, heart as light as a feather. He was easy to lean into, not handsy in the slightest, big hands rubbing up and down her back, and already, Steph was boneless against his chest, drowsing as they rode the elevator back up. Their hands clasped, Steph swung them a little as they pulled apart, yawning widely as the elevator stopped and she could lead him back down to her apartment door, pulling out her key.

“Mmn…thank you. I love you…and I hope this is still okay?” She murmured, hopeful and more than a little nervous. Jason kissed her again, then once more, and bussed her nose with his own, the smile on his lips as clear a confirmation as the words…but she liked hearing him anyway.

“I love you too, babe, and this is so okay. Get some rest, alrighty? Tim took our patrol tonight, B sent me an apology text earlier, so we’re good till tomorrow.”

“Good. Bastard should know better than to get between me and waffles.” The roguish grin on Jason’s face made her grin back, and he stroked her hair back over her ear again, something she never let Dean or Tim do, because it felt…weird with them. It felt right with Jay.

“Goddamn right, Blondie. Sleep tight, babe, can I bring you waffles in the morning, or are you waffled out?”

“Jay, if you bring me waffles in the morning, I’ll put out, alright? Waffles are life.” She retorted, and he fell back with a snicker, shaking his head as he kissed her.

“Well hell, if it’s really that easy, babe…” She swatted his arm, still grinning, and he kissed her once more, leaning into her doorway in a gesture that should have felt intimidating…but like before, well…it was Jay. It felt right. Steph kissed him back, sighing softly, and he pulled back to kiss her in the center of her forehead. “Head to bed, babe, I’m not far off. If you need anything, call me, okay?”

“Mmn, sounds good…are you really gonna bring me waffles?” She replied, hopeful, and he grinned again, his smile as addictive as his kisses.

“Goddamn right I will, babe. What time works?”

“Probably eight, at least? I need to get up early, do housework, do homework…” She made a face, and he made a face with her.

“Ugh. Well, I can help with the former, and as for the latter, I can be a quiet boyfriend and clean my guns?”

“Deal…See you then?” Steph wanted to crash, she really did, she was yawning so much now…but she didn’t want him to go…

“See you then. Goodnight, Stephie.” He murmured, kissing her once more, then closed the door for her. She leaned against it, listening to him slip down the stairs, and smiled, stepping out of her sandals with a groan of relief (they were cute, but she was tired enough for them to start hurting finally), and made quick work of taking off the rest of her make up, hanging up her dress, changing into comfy undies and a huge tee shirt. Taking down her hair, she glanced over at her phone…and grinned to see his number light up on the screen. She swiped to answer, and leaned back against the pillows.

“Miss me already, handsome?” He chuckled, warm and low, and it didn’t matter that she’d been hearing it all night; she could hear it a million times, and never get tired of it.

“You know it, baby. Figured you’d probably have trouble getting to sleep, as tired as you were, so…I thought maybe I could read to you?” He sounded so hopeful over the line, and Steph’s breath hitched in her chest. Oh…

“…I’d really, really like that. What did you have in mind?” She could see his grin as she closed her eyes, and heard the soft sound of pages turning, the faintest creak of an old book opening.

“Well, I always loved Pride and Prejudice…”

[rory-for-short]

We are not Our Parents| Part Three

Hauntingly Beautiful

He was wearing the stupid wire. Across from Lucy's complex, Batman and Robin took watch. Tim with his laptop and coffee and Bruce with his eagle eyes and monitoring equipment. They could both hear Dick Graysons nervous shuffling and see him shifting weight from foot to foot. It was obvious from first thing in the morning his son had a date tonight. Dick had been meeting up with her without telling Bruce for the past two and a half weeks. This morning he had betrayed himself of his plans. Bruce could hear him singing "sixteen going on seventeen" in the shower. He had used the syrup on his pancakes to make the shape of a heart. It was obvious he was seeing her again. He had pulled his oldest son aside and explained to him. The classic, 'I'm not stupid, you are wearing the wire tonight no room for debate,' conversation. He could tell Nightwing was unhappy when he agreed to it.

Dick Grayson had brought sunflowers in a bouquet. She had them on her dangly earings when he last saw her. He figured she might like the real thing.

He was starting to feel really weird about this situation. How much did she know? If she knew nothing, this was as scummy as he could get and not even a million showers could get rid of the feeling. If she knew everything. He won't hesitate to do to her what he did to her mugger. It freaked him out. How could he be such a schodingers man? Simultaneously Dick Grayson and Nightwing until he knew the truth.

He knocked on Lucy's door. She was smiling brightly when it swung open. Oh God, she was wearing red lipstick. It looked so good on her, but he couldn't help think about her family who often sported the same color in the same place.

"Aww, yah got me flowers!" She squeeled in an accent identical to her mother's. Oh how obvious that she was a perfect gene splice of the two. Mabey it wasn't his PTSD giving him danger signals all this time. Mabey it was his subconscious.

"I hope you like them, and don't have any allergies or anything-" he started.

"They are absolutely perfect, here let me put them in water. Why don't you take off your shoes and stay awhile," she was floating on air, so graceful and calculated in her movments as she set the flowers in a vase.

He felt a twinge of embarrassment. Her curtains were open. Bruce and his brother had a perfect veiw of everything, plus perfect audio. How stupid must he seem right now for not figuring it out immediately. Her voice, the way she looked, she was so much like Harley. Her graceful steps and body language just like the Joker.

"So," she started towards him tilting her head, "you wanna start back where we left off last time?" She suggested in a low sultry voice, her accent less definable, as she lifted her eyebrows and began pressing herself against him. He could feel Bruce's judgment radiating through the bay window.

"Ahh, actually I wanted to talk to you about something," he explained skirting around her to sit on the couch.

"Yeah what's up?" She questioned. Furrowed brow and a slightly pouty lip. She didn't look like either of them now. Nightwing relaxed under her concerned gaze. He planned how he was going to get information from her. It was super risky. Bruce would be pissed. However, Bruce was on his shit list, so he didn't care.

"It's just that, my dad is hosting a charity event," Dick nervously scratched the back of his head. "I know its kinda early to do something like that we've only been seeing each other for a month or so-" Lucy cut in.

"You want me to go to a Charity event... and meet your family?" She laughed nervously.

"Look, it's fine if its too soon for the 'meeting the parents stuff.' I just never have a date to my dad's insufferable parties and I thought you could bring a little life to it." That was true. Plan aside, he still felt like having someone at one of those awful events could make it fun. He hoped Bruce thought he was just good at manipulating and didn't mean it. But he kinda ment it.

"I've never been to a charity event. It might be more fancy than I'm use to, but I'll donate anyway. Is it like one of those television ones?" She asked intrigued with the idea.

Holy shit. It just now donned on him that she didn't know who he was. Well, she did. She knew his name was Dick Grayson. It must have never occurred to her that her Dick Grayson was the young socialite 'Richard Wayne' as the press knew him. She said on her first date with him that she wanted to eat the rich. She might dump him before he could get any real info out of her. That was a secret relief to him.

"Mmmkay, this is going to be hard to explain. Have you ever heard of Bruce Wayne?"

She gave him a 'no shit Sherlock' kind of look and answered in a monotonous and sarcastic manner that chilled him. In that moment her expression and tone belonged to the Joker.

"Yeah. Bruce Wayne rings a bell or two," she answered.

"Well, have you ever heard of Richard Grayson Wayne?" He probed.

The look on her face. It was the look of Harley being double crossed. Of his dad cornering the Joker. It was that hereditary deer in the head lights look; and just like them, it was gone in a second and replaced with faux confidence.

"Don't tell me I've been bruising up a man worth millions," she joked with an eyebrow quriked. Suddenly, her face went back to pale and fear stricken.

"Oh god," she muttered quietly, "we hafta beak up."

Dick was confused. So was Bruce and Tim who had been listening in this whole time. It wasn't what any of them were expecting.

"Okay," Dick attempted to regain control, "I know you said 'eat the rich and all' but we give to charity and-"

"You are in the public eye. Press are probably all over you, right?" Lucy Reasoned.

Dick nodded. Batman belived he knew where this was going. Press on her = press on her father. Her father's whereabouts wouldn't be safe. She would break up with Dick to protect her family.

"Look I like you. I really, really, like you. So I'm gonna tell you that I'll be nothing but trouble. I'm no good. If they find out you are with me they will drag you and your family's name through the mud!" She warned getting more and more frantic. The adrenaline set in to both parties now.

"You aren't making any sense, what do you mean?" He was baiting of course. He knew exactly what she ment, but he had to hear her say it. She sat down next to him and began nervously scratching her inner forearm. That was an unhealthy grounding technique. Dick learned that in therapy.

"So, you know how your family is well known-" she trailed off. Dick encouraged her by nodding. "Well so is mine. But they are well known for all the wrong reasons. My mom and dad were terrorists. Famous terrorists." She sighed and gathered herself. "I'm sure you've heard of them. Uhg, it's like being related to Hitler or something!" She frustratedly palmed at her hair. Her dad did that alot. He'd get that same crazy look in his eyes doing it too.

"Just tell me what you are getting at please" Grayson earnestly pleaded while taking her hands and removing them from her hair. Her frame relaxed.

"What I'm say'n," she continued, "is I was brought into the world by Gotham's most wanted clown duo. And that if you like not having the world's largest target on your back, we gotta call this thing off." Her eyes were teary and she looked down. Once more. She didn't look like either of her parents. Her face was just Lucy.

Dick, at this point, should have kept pressing. That's interrogation 101. Instead he moved her hair behind her ear and pulled her into a hug. He soothingly held her and petted his hand through her hair.

"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay. We are not our parents. I promise" he shushed while holding her against him.

"I know," she muttered in a monotone and low voice, trying to pull it from all emotion, but he felt the tears on his shirt. He pulled back and held her shoulders. She was deflated with puffy eyes and a tired distant stare.

"Hey, I know you are dealing with alot. You don't have to got to the Charity event if it's too much. But frankly I don't give a damn if they try to drag my name through the mud," Dick swore. Lucy sniffled and gave a soft smile.

"You don't get it.. It's not just the press. My family keeps tabs on me. Arthur escaped Arkam just this month, and Harley sends me cards in the mail. You aren't safe." She gave him a look of pity. Her dad used that look on her mother right before double crossing her. Immediately, Grayson's sheilds were up.

"So they know you are here? You know where they are?" He stammered out.

"I don't know where they are. I mean I have a vague approximation of where mo- Harley is but Arthur is hypervigilint.

That's the second time she used that name. No one knew the Jokers name. Not him, not Bruce, not the FBI. Mabey it was only an allies or sydonyme, but It was the biggest lead to Jokers identity yet.

He figured Bruce was already searching every database at his disposal for any criminal named Arthur.

"Anyway, they find out I'm prancing around town with a billionaire's kid, you are as good as ransom. I can hear them now. 'Why kitten you've been holding out on us. Though you could keep the millions to yourself huh? Dontcha know you gotta pay back your old pals in show biz'" she imitated her father's cadence and did jazz hands when she said 'show biz'. Dick could hear Tim laughing over the ear peice, and a quiet 'I love her' giggled though by him in the receiver. As uncanny as the impression was, he felt a bit of comfort in that moment. She understood something not many people of the world could. Being tormented by the Joker as a child. This really fucked up situation gave them a sort of unbreakable understanding. He laughed a little suddenly before realizing how very inappropriate it was in that situation.

"Sorry," he looked down and cleared his throat, "you just caught me off gaurd there."

Lucy snorted, "It's fine. I guess luck would so have it that I developed a wicked sense of humor," she smiled rolling her eyes." She then hesitated before continuing, "I'll think about going to the Charity thing... as long as I can lay low, unless you changed your-"

"No! Of course you can come! Oh you are gonna hate my family they are insufferable sometimes!"Dick exclaimed grinning ear to ear. He could hear Tim protesting from the ear peice. He didn't care. He hugged Lucy and turned off the sound. When Lucy got ready for bed, he spoke into the wire "Hey I'm clocking out for the night. Don't wait up," he whispered into it before disconnecting it and leaving the two on the roof with radio silence.

[highly-opinionated-ramblings]

Batshipping masterpost

Sometimes asking yourself the question “what would it take for me to ship these two characters together?” helps you come up with really really good stories that you otherwise might never have thought of! 

Very fun writing exercise. Do recommend.

ANYWAY. I like Batman, so I asked myself this question about him, and these were the results! 

(Featuring: Catwoman, Riddler, Twoface, Poison Ivy, Harley Quinn, Azrael, Mr. Freeze, Clayface, Superman, Wonder Woman, Martian Manhunter, Flash, Green Lantern, Green Arrow, and Aquaman)

What would it take for me to ship Batman with that character? A few key ingredients: 

If they are/were a villain, a redemption of sorts. A slow process of coming to terms and actively deciding “yeah, that’s not who I am anymore.” 

A connection, a distinct moment where they’re able to talk to Batman as more than just an old enemy or a League ally. A spark that generates interest in developing the relationship further.

An establishment of explicit trust. This usually comes in the form of Bruce revealing his identity to the other and trusting them (maybe tentatively at first, but even so) not to give it away.

An introduction to the kids. I am one hundred percent positive that this is, for the vast majority, not a voluntary action on Batman’s part. But if you raise nine kids to be detectives, you can’t expect to keep secrets from them for long! And once they know you’ve been sleeping with that former villain, you’re going to have to justify that to them somehow.

Then the whole cycle starts again as the villain redeems themselves in the eyes of the kids and gains their trust and acceptance too. Good stuff.

Note: my interpretations of these characters are entirely my own and by no means do all of them line up with any sort of canon. I just sort of do whatever. 

Also: some of the bullet points below address some of the mental health problems in the villains, so proceed at your own discretion.

Catwoman: I really like the Gotham tv show’s dynamic between Bruce and Selina, which is to say, they were childhood friends with an early attraction to one another, but had a falling out sometime around the very beginnings of Bruce actually becoming Batman. She spends a few years as a professional thief. He sends her to prison a few times. But eventually she settles down and opens up a casino or whatever, where she deals information under the table. Alfred and the kids know her these days as an ally rather than enemy. So it’s just a matter of her realizing that her attraction to Bruce is deeper than originally assumed, and that if she wants to be with him she has to really dedicate herself to that idea, and for him to realize that she’s being serious and that he needs to prioritize spending time with her over obsessing over his work.

Bruce takes his mask off dramatically, saying something along the lines of “it’s me, Selina” and she’s like “yeah I know.” “What?” “You do this thing where you pace back and forth and nod your head up and down when you’re thinking. Never known anyone else who did that but Bruce Wayne.” “...Oh.”

Childhood friends interpretation is also great because Alfred already knows her and likes her. And she has all these embarrassing stories about 14 year old Bruce to share, which means that even the most resistant of the kids warm up to her right away.

Riddler: the first line in his Arkham file is that he has an obsessive need for attention. And Bruce KNOWS that. But it takes years for it to occur to him, incredibly sleep-deprived and staring down one of Ed’s death traps that he really, really doesn’t want to deal with today....what would happen if he just, y’know, gives it to him? The attention that he wants? And the results are instantaneous. It’s like the floodgates are open and Ed just can’t stop talking. It starts out snide and derogatory, the same way he usually talks to Batman, but the longer it goes on the more it deteriorates into something oddly helpless and vulnerable. Bruce has been so used to cocky, swaggering Ed that it never really occurred to him that this was someone suffering, who needed help. So he sits down and does his best to convince Ed that he’s not going to take him in (how many times has he been sent to Arkham? And what good has it done him, really?) and they talk. He leaves out of necessity (bank robbery in progress, says Barbara’s voice in his ear) but he goes back the next day, and again after that. Ed gets attention from Bruce without having to resort to crime to get it. Bruce gets a break from head busting and an outlet for some of the stale energy inside his head. They tell each other riddles and play strategy games and get to know each other, for real this time.

Ed stops worrying so much about proving that he’s smarter than Batman. Instead he channels all that energy into uncovering Bruce’s secret identity. It’s just another one of their games. Bruce has kept that secret for a long time and he’s confident he can keep it up, but Ed’s always alert waiting for him to slip up, to leave a clue

Option 1 for how he finds out: he sets up an elaborate trap, making it seem like he’s in danger and the only way to save him is for Bruce to take his mask off, so he does. Ed is outraged. “REALLY? BRUCE WAYNE? FUCKING REALLY?” he yells, dropping all pretense of being in danger. The robots he made for this setup drop like puppets with cut strings. Bruce gets ready to Fight.

Option 2: Some other villain reveals Bruce’s identity before he gets the chance (Arkhamverse style). Ed is outraged. “HOW DARE YOU LET ANYONE ELSE BUT ME DO THAT” he yells while Bruce tries his best to ignore him and focus on calling the JL to fix the whole situation somehow

Option 3: Bruce just tells him. Ed is outraged. “I WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE ONE TO FIGURE IT OUT YOU IDIOT”

The kids are Not Happy about Bruce dating Gotham’s Most Annoying Super Villain

Twoface: again I gotta go with the whole ‘they were friends when they were younger and Bruce had a raging crush on him’ setup. Cause that adds a whole layer to Bruce’s part of the story, watching Harvey become Twoface and assuming responsibility for locking him up every time he gets out. One day something happens in Gotham- string of murders or something, it’s not important really what it is. Bruce goes after the person responsible and his trail leads him to Harvey. So he busts into the safe house, intending to intimidate anything Harvey knows out of him, and then throw him back in Blackgate. “Ohohoho, noooooo, you got this all wrong,” Harvey says when he figures out what Batman’s getting at. “That motherfucker put a dozen of my men in the ground. This is personal. You want me to tell you what I know, you’re going to take me with you.” And Bruce agrees. Cause he knows Harvey’s got a certain moral code that he can be trusted to stick to, and it’s the most painless way of getting what he wants from him anyway. Working with Harvey is weird, though. He shoots a couple of goons going after Batman and gives him that lopsided smile, says “I’ve got your back,” and suddenly Bruce is like 20 again and Harvey is bringing him a coffee, smiling. During their chase they have a dramatic rooftop showdown with whoever it is they’re chasing. Bruce turns around just in time to see one of the thugs push Twoface over the edge. He gets caught up in the moment and practically screams, “Harvey!” Of course, he’s able to dramatically swoop in and save him, though it’s a pretty close call. When Harvey comes to he sits up and says quietly, “It’s been a long time since anyone’s called my name like that, did we have that kind of relationship?” and Bruce panics and tries to brush it off as his imagination, but Harvey shakes his head and says “once you’ve seen it, you can’t unsee it, man. It’s you under there, isn’t it, Bruce?” And it turns out that knowing Bruce’s real identity turned out to be exactly what Harvey needed. Cause he can identify some of the duality he feels about himself in Batman, now. They spend some more time together, talking some of that out, and it doesn’t take long for Bruce’s crush to return en force.

Poison Ivy: He lets her go. He knew she was at that scene, and she knows he saw her, but he lets her go, cause it wasn’t a big deal. No one died, relatively little property damage, and that jerk deserved it anyway. The next day there’s a potted plant sitting on GCPD’s doorstep and they call Batman thinking it might be dangerous, but it’s just a lovely specimen of a rare flower, which he knows is her way of saying thanks. (He doesn’t let the police know that, though. He just puts it in the back of the Batmobile and tells them it’s nothing he can’t handle). He takes it home with him and treats it well. And she knows it, can kind of sense it, distantly. They have a few more run ins over the course of the next few months and they take it easy on each other, having this sort of mutually unspoken agreement. Eventually something happens for her to need to talk to Batman, so she digs her roots in deep and finds that flower...in the garden at Wayne Manor. She leaves a message for Batman and they meet up and talk about whatever she needed. She doesn’t mention the Manor, so he asks about it. She just shrugs and mentions something about Bruce Wayne’s recent efforts in protecting the environment. “Maybe we’re not as different as I thought, after all.” They give each other more little presents from afar. One day she sees him hanging around (where she knows he knows she can see him), and drops by to talk. He offers her a ride home and ends up spending the night.

This one I think he owns up to before the kids can figure it out. Pam’s a good source of information, and if he was desperate he’d call her even with all of them watching. They’d all think he’d been bewitched, of course. It’d take a while to convince them all otherwise.

Harley Quinn: all it takes is for him to get his first glimpse of the real her and decide that Joker victims need to stick together and help other Joker victims. After the breakup and the subsequent recovery, she’s living free (albeit under Constant Surveillance) in Gotham, and he checks in every once in a while, just to make sure she’s doing ok and not reverting to her previous, Joker-driven, rocket-fueled bad habits. One day there’s an incident in her neighborhood- maybe someone was going after her and Bruce was there protecting her, or maybe it wasn’t related to her at all. Regardless, it’s her who finds him after the explosion and takes him home and gives him first aid. He’s groggy and panicky when he first wakes up in a strange place (not a hospital, not the cave) with an IV drip in his arm (he’s not in a hospital, where did that come from!). It gets worse when he realizes that his mask was blown right off his face in the blast. It gets SIGNIFICANTLY WORSE when Harley appears in his field of vision, waving around a tablet pulled up to Bruce Wayne’s wikipedia page, in full psychologist mode, ranting about how he’s been going about dealing with his childhood trauma All Wrong. But they talk, and she promises not to give his secret away. “What would I have to gain from that? You’d stop coming to visit me then!” It takes a while for the two of them to figure out exactly what’s going on between them but once they’re both sure the others’ intentions are good, they develop a good, strong relationship.

Bonus points if, at any point in the above time space, she walks up to him one day and hands him an unmarked usb drive. “What’s on this?” “My daughter.” “What.” “My daughter! Her location and everything about her.” “Is she...Joker’s?” “I dunno. Could have been him or any one of a number of other guys. Mistah J threw some really wild parties. *shrug* The only part that really matters to me is that she’s mine. And if anything ever happens to me, she’ll need someone to look out for her, y’know?” “And that’s me???” “Well, helping people in need is one of your compulsions, after all. Especially kids, or else you wouldn’t have so many of your own.” 

I usually imagine Jason as one of the ones kind of sticking up for Batman, citing how crime has all but disappeared since he started sleeping with whatever particular villain and that who are they to police who Bruce shares his bed with anyway (BONUS bonus points if he’s just entering the early stages of coming to terms with his own bisexuality and never realized that Bruce was bi, too), but that wouldn’t be the case with Harley. He’d feel pretty hurt about that, I think. On the other hand: Dick has been around since Harley’s debut on the scene, and has always thought of her as relatively harmless and even respected her to a degree, as a fellow acrobat, so he’s cool with her dating Bruce

Azrael: His JL team goes on hiatus for a little while, so he calls Bruce up like “uhhh, I don’t really have much of anywhere else to go, so can I come back to Gotham for a while?” And Bruce tells him that they’re actually experiencing a pretty calm stretch for a change, but yeah, he can come if he wants. At first he’s excited because he’s never been invited to the actual, og Batcave, but there really IS nothing going on. He meets Alfred, who offers him tea. He meets Steph and Tim, out of masks, lounging on the couch playing Street Fighter. They assure him that if literally anything happens, one of their gajillion alert systems will let them know. He goes off in search of Bruce, finds him sitting at the kitchen table making his way through a veritable mountain of paperwork. Eventually he admits that he doesn’t really know what to do with himself in the downtime. “I usually try to use time like this to do things for Bruce Wayne, instead of for Batman,” Bruce explains. “You should do something for Michael Lane, while you have the chance.” “But...but...but I’ve been Azrael full-time for years now...” “Alright, well, what did you like to do before you were Azrael?” “UHH...” Before he can short-circuit too much trying to come up with an actual answer to that question, Bruce puts aside his paperwork and takes his arm. They get in the car and Bruce takes him to like a hobby shop or something. They buy model kits and a cookbook and some yarn (”one of the kids can teach you”), and he promises that one of these days they’ll clear some space on the lawn to play football. Michael hasn’t experienced this level of anyone caring for his well-being probably ever? and all he can do is stammer something about “is there anything I can do for Bruce Wayne in return?” “You can keep me company while I file all my paperwork, I guess.” So he sits at the table across from Bruce and builds his little ATAT model kit feeling happier than he has in a long time. Bruce can tell that a little more attention would do him good, so they spend some more time hanging out which leads to having some deep conversations and building up feelings for each other, it’s all very cute

Right at the beginning of Michael developing his crush on Bruce he realizes that something’s different, but doesn’t quite realize what it is, and his mind jumps to the worst case scenario right away. He locks himself in his room, calls Bruce at work, panicking, and says he thinks his St. Dumas brainwashed obsession with Bruce might be coming back. Bruce tells him to calm down, they’ll run some tests. All the tests come back negative, but Michael is visibly shaken, so Bruce offers for him to hang around Gotham a little longer so they can monitor him, which is what leads to his extended stay in Gotham

Mr. Freeze: One day something changes. One day the realization finally, finally clicks into place. There’s a huge floating JL base in the sky and aliens living on Earth and people coming back from the dead and healing from miraculous injuries and plagues all the time. If it was going to happen to him, it would have happened by now. It’s over. Nora’s not coming back. That day he laces up his boots and loads his gun and walks over to the little diner on the corner and wrecks it. Batman gets the call, and obviously he knows that something’s different, this isn’t Vic’s MO, but he goes anyway, of course. Vic blasts away at him with his freeze gun, wildly, recklessly, screaming and ranting the whole time. Bruce dodges out of view, and Vic transfers his aggressions to the nearest object in sight: a table. He blasts that thing in half, and then in half again, and keeps going until it’s nothing but splinters and he’s just standing there, gasping for breath. “Victor,” says Bruce from behind him, “tell me what’s wrong.” “Nora’s dead,” Vic mumbles under his breath. Bruce comes around to face him and Vic is looking at him with THE SADDEST puppy dog eyes he’s ever seen. (I know what you’re thinking right now. “Mr. Freeze can’t do puppy dog eyes.” You’re WRONG, I’m telling you) “That’s the first time I’ve ever said that out loud, I think... I d-don’t...I don’t know what to do…” and Bruce is like, darn, I can’t take this fool to jail. So he brings him back to his chilly lair instead and sits him down and talks him through it a little. Leaves him with a phone number to call if it gets real bad again, but makes the first call to check up on him later anyway. This one is a sloooow burn, it takes Vic MONTHS to get over Nora, couple weeks to realize he MIGHT? be developing feelings for Bruce, couple more weeks to wrestle with the guilt of that. Learning Bruce’s identity is the thing that really brings all of it to a head. Maybe there’s an attempt on Bruce Wayne’s life and later that day Batman shows up with the same pattern of lacerations on his cheek, or broken leg, or whatever. Vic’s not an idiot. He can put two and two together. When Bruce finally takes off the helmet in front of him, it’s a huge relief. To be able to say “I know what it’s like to lose people” and for Vic to know he’s not just talking about heroing. They get closer and closer from there. Their relationship is a weird one, with a lot of compromises to make, but they do the best they can.

The kids don’t particularly mind Bruce going out with Vic. He’s not so much a villain as he is just a guy who’s been dealt a bad hand in life and done the best he could with it. But having around makes the already-cool cave soooo much colder, which isn’t so fun.

Clayface: There hasn’t been an incident with Clayface in years. He’s older, little calmer, little more mature (I like the New 52 plotline of him joining Kate’s crime busting team, but this little scenario works even without that part thrown in). Still, when Bruce hears he’s back in town, he figures he should probably pay him a visit anyway. Just in case he’s planning something. But he goes to the address he was given, some apartment building in Kingston, opens the door, and finds Basil. Not Clayface, Basil Karlo, sitting in a chair by the window reading a paper. “Haven’t seen that face on you in a while,” he says, still unsure if it’s a trick or not. “Oh,” Basil shrugs, unsure if he should be worried about being tossed in jail again or not. “Well, it’s my face. The one I’m most familiar with, takes the least amount of concentration to keep up with. I did make some changes, though, see? Few gray hairs, few lines on my face. Do I look older?” “Yes. It’s a good look.” He keeps checking in with him, cause you can never be too careful, and then because he actually starts to enjoy Basil’s company. Their relationship is one of the more light-hearted ones on this list. They get wine drunk and make out on the roof of the apartment building, very giggly.

“If I learned anything at Arkham, it’s that there are some things that you know are wrong with you, but there are also things that are wrong with you that you aren’t even aware of, and that you couldn’t identify or fix even if you tried.” “One of the psychologists told you that?” “No. I shared a cell with Tetch for a few weeks. That dude is so much more messed up than you realize.”

Superman: Clark calls him up saying something about a mystery in Metropolis that has everyone stumped, and maybe the World’s Greatest Detective wouldn’t mind helping him out? So Bruce drops by to lend him a hand. The ‘mystery’ turns out to be a group of unfamiliar aliens who’re out to get Superman (I don’t care why. Maybe they’re holding some kind of grudge, maybe they’re bounty hunters, maybe they want to sell him off into space-gladiator slavery, whatever). These antagonistic aliens have been very careful in their preparations- they’ve done all the math, and come up with special weapons specifically designed to hit Superman hard enough to knock him out. But they didn’t plan on Batman being there with him, which throws them off just enough that Superman is able to chase them off successfully. In the midst of that fight, though, Bruce takes a hit. A hit calculated for Superman. It breaks several of his ribs and punctures a lung. Clark panics, scoops him up and flies him to the nearest hospital at record speeds. They’re able to stabilize him at Metropolis, and then they send him back to the Watchtower for further treatment. When he wakes up he’s pretty disoriented and confused, but Clark (who had been listening for a change in his breathing and heartbeat from a couple rooms away) comes rushing in, ushering him back to bed and promising to explain everything. Bruce is woozy and wonky enough from whatever drugs they gave him that he lays back down and lets Clark hold his hand protectively without argument. He listens to Clark’s explanation, mumbles something about calling Alfred, and promptly falls back asleep. Clark feels so guilty about his injury that he won’t leave his side for weeks, even following him back to Gotham once he’s well enough to leave the Watchtower.

“God, when will they finally just kiss already,” Jason says, taking cover with the rest of the family in the cave. “I know, right,” says Steph while Tim, Cass, and Duke (and Alfred) all nod in agreement. “SHUT UP,” yells Damian, having a hard time adapting to the idea of his dad and his best friend’s dad getting together

Any Superbat is good Superbat but I enjoy it best in the context of ‘they’re old enough by now to be embarrassed about how angsty and competitive they were when they first met, and they both have huge extended families, and the rest of the JL has been watching them dance around each other for YEARS, JUST KISS ALREADY DAMMIT’

Wonder Woman: I don’t usually imagine Bruce as a flustered kind of guy, but Wonder Woman is everything he wants to be when he grows up and he can’t help it. She’s so effortlessly cool, calm, and collected. And she’s a natural charmer, the public loves her. She always manages to come at things with a fresh perspective that has helped unstick his too-logical train of thought numerous times. She paid him a compliment once and he sat in the batmobile in the parking lot thinking about it for like twenty minutes. One day they get assigned to a League PR thing together that turns into an assassination attempt (surprising no one), but everything turns out ok. Minor damage to the surrounding buildings, a few people injured in the mass chaos, that’s all. She goes looking for him after returning from talking to the local cops, and finds him with a toddler girl on his hip, holding hands with her six yo sister, helping them look for their parents. And she just has to stop and marvel for a minute at how soft his voice is??? How the toddler isn’t even crying??? He bends down to hug the little girl bye after returning her to her fam and Diana almost has a heart attack. “I see that the gods have blessed you with an affinity for children of all ages,” she says. By the time he straightens back up he’s Batman again. “What do you mean by that?” “I can never get kids to warm up to me like that in situations like these...I always thought it was because I was just too big and imposing. How did you do it?” “Oh. Well. You know. *gestures vaguely* You just gotta give them what they want.” “And what is that?” “Security. A promise of safety from an adult that they can trust.” She doesn’t quite get it but she watches him, and talks to his sidekicks sometimes. It amazes her how much kindness and love are hidden under that mask of his. When he smiles from the heart he could melt glaciers. So she starts to press, just a little, just to see how he’ll respond. And once she figures out exactly how flustered he can get, too, it’s all downhill from there.

Martian Manhunter: This one is literally one of the sweetest, most pure relationship dynamics I think I’ve ever written, which really caught me by surprise! The way I think of it is like this: When they first meet, Bruce is really, really uncomfortable with the idea of having J’onn in his head, so J’onn tries to keep telecommunication with him to a minimum. So when Bruce gets his attention during like a meeting or something and subtly lets him know he needs to talk, J’onn knows it must be important. So he opens up a private channel and helps Bruce deal with whatever it is (I don’t know exactly what that would be, only that it’d be some kind of sensitive topic best kept between the two of them). And over the course of that, all those one-on-one mind convos, Bruce starts to get used to talking like that with J’onn. In return, while they’re working together, he helps J’onn get used to human physical contact. It starts with small things- handshakes, little pats on the shoulder- until J’onn is comfortable returning them. One day J’onn has a bad day and it’s Bruce that comes to find him, to comfort him. He doesn’t really say anything, just puts his arms around J’onn and holds him close. Most humans- and hell, even most Martians- wouldn’t have done that for him. What else was J’onn supposed to do but fall in love with him?

I really liked the scene in JL8 where J’onn was trying to, like, share a memory with Bruce or something, and instead he ended up unintentionally stumbling into some of Bruce’s trauma memories, which freaked both of them out pretty badly. I think that little scene would fit quite nicely into this scenario. Bonus, if it happens in the really early days of the League, it doubles as the moment when J’onn first learns Bruce’s secret identity.

Flash: It’s been a longtime headcanon of mine that Barry is very active in the Central City community, not just as Flash, but as himself, too. Namely, he spends a good deal of his free time volunteering with the local homeless shelter slash food bank. I mean, come on, just by the very nature of his powers, is it any surprise that he has a vested interest in ending hunger in his community? One day he stops Bruce in the hall in the Watchtower, and clumsily explains that he needs to ask a favor. The shelter has been looking to expand their operations for some time, but right at the last second one of their backers pulled out. They’re short 7k for the payment on the property they needed to make tomorrow, and Barry didn’t know where else to turn to get that much money that quickly. He promises to pay him back, somehow, eventually. Bruce cuts him a check right there for 10k, and tells him to consider it a gift. Later he even publicly endorses the program on social media, saying he thinks Gotham should implement something similar. Barry invites him down to see the building he paid for, so Bruce rolls up his sleeves and spends the day volunteering with him. It’s a chance for both of them to see a side of the other that they’ve never seen before. Bruce watches Barry shine like a ray of sunshine, bringing light and laughter to a room full of people at their very lowest. Barry watches Bruce inspire trust and confidence in complete strangers, like magic. Not to mention, that smile- Barry tries not to use his powers out in the open if he can avoid it, but he discreetly flashes over to stop a tray or something from falling, and of course it doesn’t escape Bruce’s notice. He grins at Barry from across the room and Barry’s heart fully stops for a second.

I like to think of Bruce as a little older than Barry. Just a little, just a few years. Just enough that Barry always feels like an inexperienced, incompetent baby in the face of The Batman

This one throws the kids for such a loop once they find out about it. “THIS is what you’re attracted to, Bruce? THIS???”

Green Lantern: what I know about Hal is that he’s sassy. And what I know about Bruce is that if anyone he doesn’t have the ability to tell to go to their room is sassy with him, he gets snippy. So he and Hal butt heads a lot. One day Hal is venting to Superman in like, an elevator or something about how Bruce just Doesn’t Get It, Clark, He Doesn’t Understand Me, and Clark says, “well, Hal, can you honestly say that you understand him, either?” And suggests that maybe he should spend some more time actually getting to know Bruce before passing judgement. Hal takes that to mean ‘maybe I should go to Gotham and spy on Batman for a day’. When he spots him doing his best to hide inconspicuously on a nearby rooftop, Bruce rolls his eyes and ignores him. Dick spots him too, though, and invites him to the cave in hopes that maybe they’ll be able to settle whatever their argument was about (Jason, Tim, and Steph break out the popcorn and get themselves front row seats for the Drama). But in the end, an up-close perspective was exactly what Hal needed to realize that there was more to Batman than had been meeting his eye. He watches Bruce juggle ten different comm feeds while giving a press conference AND directing his kids’ efforts in the field at the same time, and he earns a new respect for Bruce. He gets where he’s coming from now, and why he’s always so cautious all the time. The guy has a lot to lose. So he mans up and apologizes. Bruce accepts the apology graciously, says he realizes that they’re fundamentally different people but that he values Hal as a comrade and respects his prowess with the ring, and Hal is like, ‘ah. We Are Friends Now.’ He spends more of his time on Earth with Bruce, and along the way he trips and falls headlong into a debilitating crush on him. Like, a visibly obvious crush. Bruce finds it adorable.

Green Arrow: Bruce and Ollie get invited to the same billionaire shindig one day and neither of them can think of a good enough reason to not go. Ollie’s recovering from a bad ankle sprain, and Bruce hasn’t slept in days, so instead of socializing with anyone else there they just sit in the corner and hang out with each other. Midway through the event Bruce closes his eyes and does this forceful little sigh through his nose. Ollie knows him well enough by now to know that small outward signs indicate big amounts of internal emotions with Bruce, and this is about as frustrated as he’s ever seen him out of mask. Normally his act is impenetrable. “What,” he asks, imagination running full speed ahead thinking about what might have happened, “what’s wrong?” “Firefly just broke out of prison,” Bruce growls, reaching for a refill of whatever he’s drinking. “Wh- Wait, who?” “Pyromaniac, serial arsonist in Gotham.” “How exactly did you learn this?” (read: do you have some kind of spider sense I don’t know about?) Bruce just gestures to his microscopic earpiece. Ollie offers, probably against his better judgement, to take a trip to Gotham and help catch Firefly. Bruce, barely able to see straight at that point (bad combination of sleeplessness and alcohol), accepts. So Ollie gets the full treatment, a trip to the cave and tea from Alfred and a haranguing from the kids and a trip to Blackgate with Firefly, even. In return he offers to have Bruce over in Star City sometime. Ollie is usually a little on edge around Bruce, but then he starts to see the real him and finds out that he does, in fact have a sense of humor. They have goofy adventures together and it’s all very cute

Aquaman: Arthur is hotheaded and when he gets in a Mood, the sight of Bruce and his stupid unmovable face just makes him angrier. But once during a mission, when Arthur is busy working himself into a panic, not knowing what to do, it’s Bruce that snaps him out of it. Grabs him by the shoulders and demands that he get a hold of himself. And it’s enough of a shock that it actually works- Bruce tells Arthur the plan, and Arthur does it without argument. No one is more surprised when it works than he is. He is SHOOK. Eventually he swallows his pride enough to go up to Batman and admit, “I think I’m still too emotionally invested in this, can you help me?” Bruce agrees, of course. He does his best to explain how he always keeps his emotions in check, especially when lives are on the line. It occurs to Arthur to wonder what kind of toll that takes on a person. He decides that Bruce could probably use a little vacation of sorts, and invites him to spend a day with him in Atlantis. A day in the life of a king, if you will. Bruce rolls his eyes and agrees, just to play along, but he ends up really enjoying it. Yes, there are a dozen-odd irons in the fire waiting for him when he gets home, but this time he finds that he actually has the energy to deal with them for once. Which is a good enough excuse to go back and do it again, and spend more time with Arthur in the process.

Dami is usually super resistant to Bruce dating anyone, but he would be ok with Arthur, I think. Like, “you bagged a king? Ok, respect”

Extra notes:

I feel like a lot of my thoughts about Clayface and Martian Manhunter specifically could also apply to Killer Croc, too, in a way. I mean, he’s not EVIL. He’s just never really been treated like a person, and so he embraced his image as Killer Croc instead of continuing to face that rejection. But if anyone can look past his exterior and see the needs of the man within, Bruce could. Feels a little weird to think about but maybe there’s something there.

Polyshipping is GREAT may I interest you in some ot3s??? SuperWonderBat is one of the more obvious ones, and I love it (cause Diana gets to play with TWO flustered boys) but BatLanternFlash is also top tier. And then there’s the villains! RiddleBatCat is one of my favorites! Also TwoRiddleBat and BruHarlIvy. The possibilities are endless!

I considered adding Lex and Slade to this post, but in the end I left them off. Cause it’s hard for me to see those as anything but weird, inherently unhealthy relationships. They’d make great black ships though : o

When talking about Bruce dating someone else from the JL, there’s DOUBLE the kids to embarrass. Can you imagine you’re like, Roy Harper or something, somebody’s sidekick, and you walk in and find BATMAN in bed with your mentor???? WILD

This post really got away from me, haha. Thanks for reading! Hit me up if you ever need someone to talk about Batshipping with (especially rarepairs, I got you fam)!

[thepurplebutterflythings]

Damsel in Distress (Part 4) - Jason Todd

Gif: Dxnninja on Tenor

Tagging: @awkward-28 

Word Count: 3.1K

Paring: Jason Todd (Titans) x (f)Reader

Summary: Y/N and Robin’s relationship grows and Y/N starts to wonder who is under the mask. Jason askes Y/N a hypothetical question which probably isn’t a hypothetical question at all.

Warnings: Alludes to Sex.

A/N: This is a little series I am doing about Jason Todd in Titans. I don’t know Comic!Jason very well so I’m taking all of this from the show, and at the moment he hasn’t been in very often, so please forgive any mischaracterizations.

Damsel in Distress Part 3  | Masterlist | Damsel in Distress Part 5

_______________________________________________________________

For months, Robin dropped by to visit Y/N, and they were practically a couple at that point. They would sit on her balcony, they would kiss, hold hands, hug, and Y/N would even lay on his chest and nap for a little while. The only thing was that she didn’t know who he was underneath the mask. She didn’t question it though. Obviously, Y/N understood why he didn’t tell her who he was. Batman and Robin had dangerous adversaries – Joker, Riddler, Penguin – it was a large risk for her to know.

If anything, Y/N trusted Robin more for not telling her his true identity yet for some reason. Maybe it was the fact that Robin always made sure she was safe, that he told her what he did on missions rather than keep it all under wraps. Robin, while protecting his identity, never kept secrets from her. He was honest, and Y/N respected that. She did once ask him about what he was under the mask but Robin was hesitant, although he gave her a little information.

“What are you like?” She asked him, “Under the mask?”

“Well,” Robin shifted a little, worried as if he was giving too much information away. “I’m not that different I think, I mean, I think I’m a bit more controlled without the mask, cause well, with this on,” he pointed to the black mask, “I know what I can do, and what I can get away with.”

“What have you done with the mask on?”

“I’ve kicked a few cops asses,” Robin confessed, “Batman doesn’t believe in that – hurting the cops, but… I don’t know. They treat us like crap, they beat us up almost every night and they are total shit at their job. Look at Gotham – if it weren’t for Batman, The Joker or Penguin would have taken over a long time ago. There are two types of cops – useless or dirty.” He explained.

“I get it,” Y/N nodded, “if my dad wasn’t who he was then the guy who grabbed me on the street would have walked the very next morning, and I know a few cops who are in the mobs pocket, but I also know that there are some good ones – I’ve met them. Like Dick Grayson – you know? That guy who Bruce Wayne adopted after his parents died in that circus performance?” Y/N said, “He really believed in saving this city. Then he moved to Detroit.”

Y/N sighed as she thought of Robin, wondering where he was. He wasn’t late, but she did worry from time to time. How couldn’t she? Robin could be out there fighting The Joker on a rooftop which could end with only one walking away. Y/N knew what she was signing up for though when she first kissed him, and she knew that while it was difficult to live with, she could live like it. She liked Robin too much to let what they had go.

“Hey there, Damsel,” Robin dropped from her roof and took the spot next to her.

“Hey there, Knight,” Y/N grinned as she shuffled closer. ‘Knight’ had become her pet name for Robin – her knight in red armour. Robin grinned widely at her nickname for him.

“How was your day?” He asked her as he took her legs and put them across his lap, playfully wiggling her bare toes in the process.

“Good,” she nodded, “I mean, Jason and I haven’t spoken for a while, but kind smiles are still exchanged.”

“Sorry that it got to that point,” Robin said as he wrapped an arm around Y/N and pulled her closer.

“It’s not your fault,” Y/N assured him. “Or Jason’s.”

“Or yours. Don’t blame yourself for this.” He asked of her. His brown eyes bored into Y/N’s Y/E/C ones. Y/N quickly leaned up and caught Robin’s lips with her own. Robin quickly kissed back, putting a finger under her chin to bring her closer to him. “What was that for?” Robin asked with a cough, “not that I mind of course.”

“For just being so great to me.” Y/N told him.

“You’re great too,” Robin said nuzzling his nose against hers. “One day,” he began, almost hesitantly, “I’ll take my mask off and take you on a proper date.”

“I’d like that very much,” Y/N nodded as she wrapped her arms around his neck, “but there isn’t any rush,” she assured him, “I get why you haven’t told me.”

“I want to keep you safe,” Robin said, even though both already knew it had to be said aloud, “I love you, Y/N, and I want to keep you safe,” he said stroking her cheek.

“I love you too,” Y/N told him, “and I understand. I do.”

“Thank you,” he sighed in relief, kissing her again, “for understanding.” He kissed her once more.

“I will always understand,” Y/N assured Robin. “What you do is dangerous.”

“I will always keep you safe,” Robin swore, “you mean the absolute world to me, and I will always come back safe to you.”

“Thank you,” Y/N said to him. There wasn’t much to say to that – there weren’t enough words in the English language for Y/N to express her gratitude to Robin for caring and loving her that much.

“As much as I want to stay, I gotta go.” He mumbled against her as he brought her in for a hug. “I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded as Robin stood up to leave. “Be safe, Knight.”

“Of course, Damsel.”

_______________________________________________________________

“Hey Ivory Tower,” said Jason, appearing behind Y/N in the coffee shop before class.

Y/N, who was holding a to-go cup of coffee with a mocha inside, yelped and jumped as she turned to see Jason standing there with a little smirk on his lips.

“Dear Lord!” She put her hand on her chest.

“Just Jason will do,” he teased. Y/N slapped his shoulder in a scolding yet jovial manner before gesturing for him to walk with her.

“Where did you disappear to?” Y/N asked him as Jason slowly strolled by her side. Y/N grasped her cup with both hands and walked upright, no shift in her shoulders, no sway in her hips like usual, just as stiff and as straight as a pole. Jason, however, moved like liquid with each step, with swinging feet and his weight shifting carelessly from side to side with each step. His hands were shoved in his pocket and his head down, but he still threw sideways glances at Y/N as he walked.

“I didn’t disappear anywhere,” Jason said, frowning at Y/N in confusion.

“I mean from my life,” She pouted, “you stopped sitting near me, you stopped answering my calls, my texts and it seems you actively try to avoid me. The most I hear from you is the occasional email with your part of the project for Physics attached.

“Things have been weird for me lately.”

“Me too,” Y/N snapped suddenly.

“I’ve been…” Jason sighed and gestured for Y/N to sit on a bench they were passing. Y/N rolled her eyes but sat, “I wasn’t talking about when you rejected me,” he explained.

“Oh. What then?”

“Can I ask you a hypothetical?” Jason asked Y/N, biting on his thumb. He then leaned forward and rested his elbows on his knees.

“Sure,” Y/N nodded.

“Say there was someone you really liked,” Jason began, “and you were keeping something from them, yet you wanted to tell them what you were keeping, but couldn’t and always felt like you were lying to them, what would you do?”

“Well,” Y/N clicked her tongue, “why can’t I tell them my secret?”

“There is a risk,” Jason said, “that it would put the someone you liked in danger. Something you would never want to risk because… you loved that someone.”

“I guess that I would keep the secret for the time being and wait till it was safe enough to tell them.”

“But do you think the someone would be angry at me, I mean you, for keeping the secret?”

“Would they be aware I was keeping it to protect them?”

“Yes, they 100% know that, but you still lied to them – for months, perhaps years by the time you tell them. Would it hurt them?”

“I would hope the someone I am keeping the secret from has enough faith and trust in me to know I never meant to hurt them and how badly I wanted to keep them safe,” Y/N shrugged. Jason smiled and looked at Y/N intently, as though hoping for her to realise something, but she didn’t. “Did that help?”

“Yeah,” Jason nodded, “I think it did.”

“Is this really a hypothetical?”

“It’s a long story, Ivory Tower,” Jason sighed, leaning back and pushing his hair back. “Maybe I’ll tell you one day, in a few months, maybe years.”

Y/N smiled and nodded before drinking her mocha, completely clueless. Jason watched her for a moment before standing up and gesturing for her to do the same.

“I hope whatever this is about works out for you, Jason,” Y/N said to him as they continued walking.

“Me too,” Jason sighed, “me too.” He then looked at Y/N.

_______________________________________________________________

Robin was late and now Y/N was worried. She sat on the edge of her bed and but on her thumbnail, staring at the glass doors, waiting for him to appear. She would have sat outside but it was approaching winter and was getting cold. Where was he? Was he alright? Oh God! What if something had happened to him and now he was lying in the gutter somewhere bleeding out, beaten with a wrench or something? No! Y/N pushed those thoughts backwards and refused to let them develop further.

As Y/N sat on her bed, enveloped by thoughts as to where Robin was and why he was late, Robin dropped onto her balcony, gripping his side. Y/N was in such a trance that she didn’t notice until Robin tapped on her window, snapping her awake. She leapt up and ran across to him, opening the door and grabbing him in her arms but pulling back when she heard him hiss in pain.

“What happened?” She asked him. Robin pulled back and showed her where his body armour had come undone in a fight and caused him to get caught by a knife. The gash was large but luckily wasn’t deep.

“Brutale,” Robin told her the name of his attacker, “I’m lucky really.”

“That you aren’t bleeding out,” Y/N added on as she led him to her bed and laid him down, taking his armour off.

“Aren’t you supposed to buy me dinner first?” Robin teased through gritted teeth.

“Be quiet,” Y/N huffed, “I’m going to get the first aid kit.”

“You’ve got a first aid kit?”

“Have since you rescued me,” Y/N told him, disappearing into the en suite and coming back moments later with a green case that had a white cross plastered on the front. She placed it on her bed and helped Robin sit up to take his undershirt off, dropping it on the floor next to his body armour. Carefully, Y/N laid Robin down and opened her kit to start cleaning and dressing the wound. Robin rested his head on her pillow and watched her as she wiped his side and abs where the wound was. If this was any other situation, Y/N would be blushing and very aware that Robin was lying on her bed, shirtless. She looked at the gash on his side and remembered how he winced and limped as he walked and felt her eyes water up. Y/N sniffed and wiped her eyes, hiding it behind a cough, but Robin noticed.

“Hey, hey,” Robin whispered, attempting to sit up but wincing in pain, “don’t cry. Come here.”

Y/N shifted over to him and buried her face in his neck to hide her face. Robin wrapped his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

“I’m sorry for getting upset,” she said in a muffled voice, “I was worried and imagining the worst and then you turn up injured, it was just a little overwhelming.”

“Hey, I get it,” Robin said as Y/N pulled back, “You okay now?”

“Better,” she nodded before turning her attention back to the wound, “I should go to Batman and give him a piece of my mind though. That bloody armour – it should be checked regularly.”

“As funny sight it would be to watch you go toe to toe with The Dark Knight of Gotham over little ole me, this was my fault.” Robin said, “I was in a rush and never checked my armour.” Y/N glared at him as though silently scolding him. “Which will never happen again.” He promised upon seeing the stern but concerned look on Y/N’s face.

“It better not.”

“I swear.”

“Good,” Y/N nodded, “I couldn’t bear anything happening to you.”

They remained in silence for the rest of the time Y/N cleaned and dressed Robin’s wound, and when she had finished they were still silent while she put her first aid kit away before returning and taking the spot next to Robin on the bed. She laid on her side to face him as he turned his head to look at her. Y/N gingerly let her fingers trace his mask, feeling it beneath her fingers. Robin didn’t flinch or pull away, but when her fingers nearly reached the edge to pull it away, Robin gently took her hand in his and pulled it away, pressing a kiss on each finger.

“Not tonight,” he told her. Tonight wasn’t the night to know his identity. Tonight wasn’t the night to break the spell. Tonight wasn’t the night to change everything.

“Okay,” she nodded before snuggling into his side and breathing deeply before closing her eyes and dozing off.

_______________________________________________________________

When Y/N woke up, Robin was gone, but there was a little note on the pillow next to her.

‘Damsel. I’m sorry but I had to go, Batman called. I didn’t want to wake you because you looked so peaceful. I’ll see you soon and I’ll be careful – Robin AKA Your Knight in Red Armour.’

Y/N held the note close to her chest and sighed with a smile. Robin was so lovely and kind and she was so lucky to have him in her life.

She knew that she would love whoever was under the mask.

________________________________________________________________

“Robin!” Y/N greeted him with a large hug, letting him wrap her up in his arms and twirl her around. It had been a few weeks since the knife incident and she hadn’t needed to patch Robin up again.

“Hello there Damsel.” Robin chuckled.

“I’m guessing your side isn’t in that much pain anymore.”

“Nope,” Robin confirmed. “There is a scar there though.”

Y/N took Robin’s glove hand and led him inside into her room where she had two cups of coffee waiting to warm them up in the cold winter weather. They both sat on her bed and drank from the cosy cups.

“I’m glad you’re feeling better,” Y/N told him in a soft and quiet voice. Robin smiled. “Is the scar bad?”

Robin put his cup on her bedside table and stood up. He took his body armour off and then pulled his gloves off before taking his undershirt off. Y/N blushed and looked down for a second, but then she looked up at Robin, her eyes landing on his abs where the scar was. It was still a long scar, but Y/N realized then that it wasn’t the only scar on Robin. She moved forward and traced her finger along the scar she cleaned and dressed, then she traced the other scars on him.

“What is it?” Robin asked.

“Are all these scars from being Robin?” Y/N asked glancing upwards to meet his gaze. Robin had been watching Y/N the whole time, how intently she looked at each scar and how she gently traced each one with her fingers, as though committing them to memory.

“Not all of them,” Robin shook his head. “Some are from fights as a kid and things like that,” he shrugged them off. “This one,” Robin pointed one out on his bicep, causing Y/N to stand up and inspect that specific one, “this was The Joker.” Y/N looked at Robin for permission to touch it. Robin nodded. Y/N started tracing that scar on his bicep.

“How’d it happen?”

“I thought I could apprehend him, turns out I couldn’t,” Robin stated, “Joker got away and I got an earful from Batman about recklessness.”

“Sounds about right,” Y/N teased. Robin rolled his eyes and smiled at Y/N before he leaned in and kissed her, wrapping one arm around her waist and pulling her close. Y/N rested her hands on Robin’s bare chest before snaking them around his neck. When they pulled apart they breathed heavily and gazed into each other’s eyes with longing.

“Are you sure?” Robin asked huskily.

“Yeah,” Y/N nodded before Robin kissed her again and they fell onto her bed.

______________________________________________________________

Y/N rested her head on Robin’s chest as they both caught their breath. Robin pressed a kiss to her forehead. Both were covered by Y/N’s sheets.

“Was that good?” Robin asked through pants.

“Amazing,” Y/N nodded and kissed Robin’s neck, causing him to chuckle. “What about you?”

“Incredible,” Robin said tilting his head to look at Y/N. Y/N leaned up and caught his lips in hers. They then shifted so both were lying on their sides and looking at each other. Y/N covering herself with the sheets, while Robin draped the sheets so just below his waist was covered. “I do love you, you know that?” Robin caressed Y/N’s face.

“Course I do,” Y/N smiled as she took his hand and pressed a kiss onto it, “I love you too.”

Robin pulled his hand back and moved it to his mask, ready to pull it off. Y/N shifted in eagerness to see who was behind the mask, but just before Robin could pull it off a device on his belt, which laid on the bedroom floor, started beeping wildly. Robin stopped his actions and turned to look at the device then back to Y/N, who was confused about it.

“Batman’s calling,” he told her, jumping from the bed and pulling his clothing back on. “I’m so sorry,” Robin apologised “I really want to stay, I wish I could but I’ve got to go. I’ll make it up to you, I swear.” He rambled.

“I get it,” Y/N smiled and nodded, staying in bed, covered with the sheets. “Duty calls. Gotham needs you.” Robin, who was finished getting dressed, stopped from leaving for a moment and smiled at Y/N, leaning across the bed to give Y/N a gentle goodbye kiss.

“I love you, and I’ll see you soon, Damsel. Promise.”

“I love you too, Knight. Be safe.”

“Always for you.”

[dcarevu]

DCAU: Beware the Gray Ghost

“When crime haunts the night, a silent crusader carries the torch of justice. Those with evil hearts beware for out of the darkness comes the Gray Ghost!”

Batman meets his influence, while simultaneously, in a way, meeting himself from another universe. How is this possible? Find out next time, same bat-time, same bat-channel! Well, okay, maybe not, you could just scroll down… So was this episode a tired, old has-been or a star worth remembering?

Episode: 18 Robin: No Writer(s): Garin Wolf (Teleplay), Tom Ruegger (Teleplay/Story), Dennis O’Flaherty (Story) Director: Boyd Kirkland Animator: Spectrum Airdate: November 4, 1992 Grade: A

Beware the Gray Ghost is a fantastic episode of Batman the Animated Series with something there to satisfy the older and newer fans, bridging the gap between them. And in fact, historically, it kinda did just that, bringing new respect to a certain actor who guest starred in this one! It is also an episode that I noticed has a very distinct feel to it, turning it into a tribute to not only the old Batman show from the 60’s, but also just old, Twilight Zone-esque noir crime shows in general. The music, the plot, some of the more subtle details, it’s all there. But instead of using these to craft some sort of parody or critique, it all ends up being a very respectful look at days past while undoubtedly still being Batman the Animated Series.

“The Graaaaaayyyyy Ghost!”

Spectrum animation is back with this one (which is odd, because apparently they shut down after bankrupting themselves with Heart of Ice… Anyone know how this all worked?), but in addition to that, my copy of Batman the Animated Series on Blu Ray just arrived! I couldn’t be happier that the first episode we watched on Blu Ray was a Spectrum episode. This created a very noticeable leap in animation quality. I’ll go more into detail at the end of this post also, giving my basic first impressions on how the Blu Ray release stacks up against the DVD one. But yeah, I’ll say it right now, it makes the show go from beautiful to breathtaking. Some of the color-usage in this episode is the best the show had done up to this point, and a variety of styles was used.

We have the scenes which are in exclusively black and white (displayed when we get a look at the original Grey Ghost tv show), we have the sepia-toned bits showing Bruce Wayne’s childhood, we have the bloody reds when explosions and fires happen (fire count!), and then we have the typical dark-deco look of the show. They all flow together seamlessly, and you can’t help but admire how realized this episode must have been before it was finished and then aired on TV. I cannot think of a single way I would improve the look of this one, aside from one or two funky-looking shots of Batman. 

One of the few funky shots of Batman...

...but they’re made up for by how awesome some of the other shots are.

The closest to a perfect episode (animation-wise) you’re gonna get. Period. Char (again, my watching-buddy, and DCAU-virgin) pointed out the animation for when Batman and Grey Ghost are hauling ass away from the exploding remote-controlled cars too. Very dynamic angles were used that only studios like Spectrum and TMS could have pulled off.

If Akom worked on this scene, it would have been such a disaster. Speaking of Akom, now I’m thinking of their version of an explosion/fire vs Spectrum’s. Just for funzies, let us compare shall we?

From The Cat and the Claw (Part 2).

These next few are from Beware the Gray Ghost.

The difference is quite clear. One makes you jump out of your seat in awe. The other makes you jump out of your seat because you’re about to upchuck your breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

When I mentioned earlier something about this episode never straying into parody-territory, well, it does not necessarily look back at the genre/Batman show and play it completely seriously either. They walked a thin line between both and decided to put Bruce Wayne into a setting that we can all relate to; sitting in front of the tv, watching your favorite show before bed.

The Gray Ghost in this story isn’t an old, retired superhero, or a superhero turned villain. He’s an actor, and one that played in a somewhat dated, silly “superhero” drama. This immediately adds a sense of seriousness and realness to it while also managing to not let the cornier aspects go. Both worlds exist in this episode. The whacky Gray Ghost show, and the noir, gothic world of Batman the Animated Series. They don’t necessarily have to merge in a typical way and clash tones, because they are able to reference and display the Gray Ghost show as fictional. The way it’s used makes it all relatable, and it gives us a look at what influenced the dark knight, along with a borderline-tragic story about the downsides of fame and being known for one thing and one thing only. Batman may seem super-powered to the many thugs that he battles in the alleyways, but he is a human just like you and I, one that did have a childhood at one point. Even if that childhood was tragically ended with a few bullets. Batman feeling the level of nostalgia that he feels in the episode is so god damn adorable, and it’s another moment, much like The Cat and the Claw, where we see him being Bruce Wayne, not Batman, but also somehow being himself. It's that middle ground between the brooding, shadowy figure and the rich, chillax playboy.

A smile we rarely get to see.

“You’ve gotta be kidding me!” Bruce acknowledges the cheesiness of the explosion causes.

While Batman is enjoying his childhood tv show, at one point almost seeming to forget why he’s watching it in the first place, we see Alfred subtly bringing that memory to life even more. Batman may no longer have a father, but Alfred is the closest thing he could ever hope for. TV superheroes clearly are not Alfred’s thing. He even mentions that fact when he says he prefers his fireplace to a black and white screen. But that’s not the point. The point is that Bruce is being transported back to feeling the warmth and protection of a father figure, while throwing out all of his worries for a bit and feeling a sense of thrill and enjoyment. Alfred seems to understand this. He knows Bruce more than anyone else could. Almost all of the flashbacks we see in this show are sad ones. And that gives the ones like this so much more power.

Alright, now, for those of you who don’t know (like all two of you), this episode has the very special guest star, Adam West. To me, this elevates the episode immensely, and strengthens the central themes and thesis tenfold. We go from a story about an actor being kind of a one-trick pony to the same story being told by someone who lived it. We go from a story where Batman gets to meet his idol to that same story featuring that very idol. And not just an idol to Batman, but an idol to many kids and adults who were around when Batman was still airing. Even those who went back and watched it later! Hell, when I was 5 or 6, I watched the shit out of Batman: The Movie, and I’m only 23. And y’know, we have things like Catman in The Fairly Oddparents, and the Fearless Ferret episode of Kim Possible. I’m not knocking on those, but damn, Adam West had to get tired of Batman goofs at some point. In fact, the team behind Batman the Animated Series was a little bit nervous that he wouldn’t wanna participate. But I’d be willing to bet that this episode made him feel good.

The Gray Ghost kinda reminds me of Arthur from The Tick. Great shot here, by the way.

The Gray Ghost is posed in the same way as Batman in the end credits. Such a cool detail that I actually missed my first time watching.

I love that despite wanting to stay far away from 60’s Batman vibes, the team wasn’t ready to dismiss it as bogus. And I get the sense that maybe Batman’s reverence in this episode is not only representative of all the Batman fans’, but also that of the crew behind Batman the Animated Series. They wanted Adam West to feel welcomed, and like the show wouldn’t exist without him (because it likely wouldn’t). So honestly, hats off to them. To further show a lack of satire, it wouldn’t surprise me if that is why Bruce Timm’s voice and image was used for the main villain.

Bruce Timm’s voice acting wasn’t the best, and I’d be willing to bet that he hated doing it, hahaha. Still a really fun nutjob of a character.

I’ll relate it to the episode of The Nostalgia Critic where he squares up against Mara Wilson. Mara Wilson, in real life, saw a Nostalgia Critic video about one of her films, and was kinda offended by it. But through a series of events, she and Doug Walker (the main creator and actor of NC) ended up cool, and he even put her in one of his videos! To make it even better, he actually had her play the antagonist, or probably more accurately, the protagonist. She basically ended up embarrassing and getting even with the Critic character in the episode. It’s still one of Doug’s favorite episodes to this day, and I have a feeling that he set the plot up like this to show her that he actually respects her quite a bit, and to soften the blow of the shit he’s thrown her way over the years. The team behind Batman the Animated Series may have done a similar thing in making Adam West’s character, along with Kevin’s Batman, defeat Bruce Timm’s character together, and if that’s the case, I love it. Not only does Adam West get the admiration of their version of Batman, but he also gets to help Bruce Timm’s character get his comeuppance. And then, of course, West’s character gets the attention he deserves at the end.

I know this is a video release, but it looks a lot like a thicker Blu Ray case. Kinda like, well, the Blu Ray release of Batman TAS!

Oh wow, never noticed this foreshadowing either. Matt Hagen will be a name that we’ll see pop up in a couple of episodes.

Garin Wolf, Tom Ruegger, and Dennis O’Flaherty obviously treaded carefully, but likely without even thinking about it. Because it is so genuine-seeming and charming. And honestly, thank you, Adam West, for being such a great sport throughout all the time you were alive. I wish there could have been another official DCAU tribute after his death, but this being the one thing we got should be more than great enough for any Batman or comic book fan out there.

This dude was pretty obviously voiced by Alfred’s voice actor. Times when having a voice with so much character takes me out of the show!

A look at some of the Gray Ghost episodes. I’d kill for a Gray Ghost animated series, following what we have shown here.

Wow, that Batmobile is awfully close to the ground.

Just a nice still. Boy does he ever look like a classic pulp costumed crimefighter. They nailed his design. 

A picture of Bruce Timm after he saw the finished product of I’ve Got Batman In My Basement.

Before I go, I’d like to, yes, mention the Blu Ray copy of the show I just received! So far, I’m mixed on it. While the visual and audio quality is mostly superior, there are a few moments of a shot being too bright or whatever. Also, I don’t know, I think that the dirtiness is part of what made the original show look so charming, and it was truly meant to be seen on the technology that was around at the time. Everything is so crisp now, and it just doesn’t look as old as it once did. On the other hand…they got rid of the spot above Batman’s lip during the theme song! Hot damn! That makes it about 10x easier to sleep at night… From what I understand, there are also some new special features and such that I can’t wait to view. All of the old ones are there too, which brings me to the pilot, The Dark Knight’s First Night. I was really, really, really hoping that they would bring in the original sound for it. On the volume 1 DVD, I was always kinda weirded out that it said the original music and sounds were lost. I mean, as far as the music goes…it’s just music from the 1989 Batman film, how hard can that be to get ahold of..? Hell, one of the versions on Youtube has the original music and sounds, so what gives? Could it be a copyright issue or something? I don’t know, but this same problem exists on the Blu Ray release too. Kind of a shame. Oh, but wait, as a plus, this complete series doesn’t just include every episode, but it also comes with Mask of the Phantasm and Subzero! I hate when complete series box sets don’t come with the movies that are just as much part of the series. This is an incredibly consistent problem across basically every tv show ever, and I get why it’s a thing, but it still annoys me. This problem doesn’t exist with Batman the Animated Series any longer. Well. Kinda. Mystery of the Batwoman is strangely…not included? I know that this one was technically released much later, and I also remember it sucking, but it’s still a part of the show! Why not include it? Personally, if I were in charge, I also would have thrown in Batman and Harley Quinn too, but believe me, I wasn’t banking on that one. I can forgive its absence. Overall, though, I’m super happy to own this, and even though I’ve seen all of Batman the Animated Series already, this gives me something new to enjoy with it. Also, even though it’s not a perfect release, I think I still consider it a step up over watching the show on DVD. At least, if we’re talking flat screen TVs (watching the entire show on VHS would be awesome, honestly). I give the Blu Ray release a B. Maybe a low A.

Char’s grade: A Fire count: 9

Next time: Prophecy of Doom Full episode list here!

[chronicbatfictioner]

Subtle - Chapter 9

"We're going where??"

"Washington. I've cleared it with BatDad and he just... I dunno, kinda smirked and said, 'have fun!' - which made me even more scared than this date itself. I mean, they're BFFs, right? It's not like I stole this jet. Penny-one even put something in that box... I think we're supposed to give some kind of gift for the host and--" Jason rattled on for nearly a minute before he caught Tim's blank glare. "Oh, hi, you there?"

"I think my brain jumped out of the plane somewhere between state lines."

They were on their way to Washington, DC, on a Saturday night because Princess Diana of Themiscyra had extended the invitation to Bruce Wayne to send his two sons, Jason Todd and Tim Drake, to join her for a dinner. Said invitation was sent by courier (i.e. The Flash because Diana has a sense of humor) - complete with receipt and everything, and was duly accepted by Alfred. Alfred promptly prepared two dress-suits for his two boys, and demanded that "Master Wayne shall loan you his jet, young masters, have fun."

Tim had not reacted obnoxiously, if at all, when Jason picked him up from his Crime Alley loft and drove him to the private jet airport near Wayne Manor. He'd only looked up quizzically once, as they drove past the Manor, and looked at the suit Jason told him to put on. But he did not ask any question, too busy with whatever crisis that was happening in his cellphone.

It was only when they finally boarded the jet, with Jason taking the pilot's seat, that he'd asked. Jason had replied, "we're going to dinner." and when Tim did not press, Jason had thought that he'd simply forgotten of the invitation. Until, well, until somewhere between takeoff and now. "We'll land in about five minutes." Jason said. It was excessive, all things considered, to take a jet. But Alfred insisted and said that it was 'improper for a gentleman to appear ruffled for a royal dinner,' - and somehow, Diana had approved and provided a landing zone.

Why, Jason didn't know, either. But hey, who was he to object to a princess? Or a loan of a private jet? Or a 30-minutes flight compared to a 3-4 hours drive?

The landing zone, true to Diana's nature, was in a military base; and they were picked up by some military people who insisted upon driving them back to 'Miss Prince' in a Hummer.

Good thing that they had listened to Alfred's advise and wore suits, not armors. It would be awkward to explain why Red Hood and Red Robin was there to meet Diana Prince; and less so in explaining why Tim Drake-Wayne would come to see Diana Prince. Tim's flustered, "she asked for us to come..." helped a lot.

At the front door, Tim still asked, "why are we here, again?"

To which Jason glibly replied, "the Princess demand our presence for dinner." Judging from a soft snicker given by one of the soldiers, it was the correct, un-suspicious answer. "Good thing we're trained on how to behave around royals." Another snicker - and Jason couldn't be assed to tell the snickerer that they, in fact, had been trained to behave around royals by the Almighty Alfred Pennyworth. Sir Alfred. Jason fleetingly thought that if Alfred hasn't been knighted by now, someone at the Buckingham Palace should have their head removed.

"Come on in, young men!" Diana greeted them. She, as per usual, looked radiant in a long, flowing gown. Silencing the little voice in his head that mentioned the fact that she could have been wearing a potato sack and would look incredible, anyway, Jason gently ushered Tim and they both kissed Diana's cheek gallantly. Alfred would have been proud. Gift was exchanged, and it turned out to be truffle chocolates. Hand-made by Alfred, to which Tim excellently presented because rich kids like him would know how to present a gift for a host. Jason would probably simply hand it over and say 'it's from Alfred.'

Dinner, as everything that was Diana, were magnificent, superb and not minuscule-sized like the food in Bruce's gala dinners. And Jason paid full attention at their taste, and how Tim reacted to them, fully taking a mental note to ask for the recipes of the ones Tim seemed to enjoy the most. The wild boar ribs might be a little tricky, but looked like it was worth catching a whole damn wild boar if Jason could find one.

"So, Timothy," Diana started.

"Yes?" Tim replied politely around the line of ribs.

"I believe just about everyone and their super-grandmothers have gone and fussed over you, yes?"

Tim chewed a little slower, and replied, "I have no idea what you mean by 'fussing'. But if you're referring to how they all have meddled and put my relationship with Jason under a microscope and proverbial and actual X-rays, yes they have. I presume you're going to do the same?"

Jason did not choke on his water, nope. He almost did, but then remembered that this was Tim, who did not fear even Superman and made Ra's Al Ghul rethinking his life choices.

Diana's smile was sweet, but laced with a little danger. "Well yes, only not for the same reason. You see, I've known Jason since he was... quite a young cub, I'd say."

"Yes, I know. I've also heard from Bruce that he's your favorite Robin," Tim grinned. "I'm just enjoying the idea that, after everyone went to Jason and put a permanent death warrant on him if he would ever hurt me, at least you're here to do the other way around."

"I am," Diana beamed. "Bruce warned me that you would be smart enough to call my bluff? But my dear Timothy, I should also remind you that I don't bluff."

"I know, I get it. He's..." Tim looked at Jason fondly, and Jason hid his blush behind a grilled rib. "I get it, though. People asked me if he's good enough for me, and no one asked if I think I'm good enough for him - and they all forgot that if evil didn't happen, he and I might have ended up like this a lot sooner. You know? I just... a lot of time I wondered if they would act the same if I'd been the Red Hood, and Jason was Red Robin, you know what I mean? If they would be so harsh on me like they are on him, forgetting everything he'd done way back then..." he shrugged. "I'm glad you're... on his side, Diana."

Diana smiled, less dangerously, this time. "A war is never won by just the soldiers, Timothy, they are won by the generals." she offered a non-sequitur. That is, non-sequitur if one's life doesn't generally revolve around wars big and small or inter-galactic like the three of them.

Jason turned a little to look at Diana, wary at the direction of the impending question.

"What are you, Timothy?"

Tim pondered the question for a moment, while Jason pretended he didn't care by stuffing his mouth with the broccoli.

"I'm sure everyone wants to be a general. I'm sure people think I'm a general... a mini-general, at least for the Titans. But what I am, really, is an experienced soldier." Tim replied, sounding a little subdued. "I don't want to be in the war, Diana. I wanted to help people. Just that. It's simple. It should be simple. But as it was, is, and will be, it's never simple. Not when help is seen as the proverbial fish, you know what I mean? --instead of the proverbial rod. What I am is a soldier. Maybe I'll eventually die in battle. Maybe - hopefully - I'll weather the war and come up on the other side, some day. But what I don't want to be is the general.

"I can think like one, sure. Like Batman. Like Luthor. Like Ra's Al Ghul. But their thoughts hurt... hurt me. There is no end of their visions. There is no happy ever after. And maybe, maybe I just want a happy ever after..."

Jason cleared his throat. "Okay, enough with the questioning, I think. The mood just turned the wine sour." he commented. He couldn't reach over the table and he wanted to, if only to wipe that solemn, forlorn look out of Tim's face.

Diana's smile was a little brighter. "I am not sure if I should give you wine or not, Jason, so that is grape juice in your glass." she remarked.

"Hey! I'm actually 21!" Jason protested.

"Ah, right. I keep seeing you as the 15-year-old boy I once knew..." she signaled someone, and a goblet and bottle of wine appeared next to Jason.

"Shouldn't you stay sober? I mean, we still gotta go back home, you know. And I don't think you can afford crashing Bruce's jet..." Tim commented.

"Live a little, Timber! Besides, you're the designated driver." Jason grinned impishly.

"That is so unfair..." Tim grumbled.

"You may have wine, too, just a sip, if you want." Diana offered. "I am amused at the American's insistence that their children should not be introduced to wine until a certain age, whilst they are not protected from violence in general. But," she shrugged. "'when in Rome...', I guess. Wine, Timothy?"

"Eh... no, thanks. I actually really rather stay sober." Tim refused politely. "Yes, Jay, I know the jet has autopilot. I just prefer to stay sober, thanks."

"One sip isn't gonna make you tipsy, Timmy. But you know what? Whatever float your boat."

The flight back home was quiet, save a few questions from Alfred in the comms of their ETA and some technical questions - like 'who was flying' and whether the pilot is sober. Diana had wondered out loud if she should let them go back home, since it was late - at 11.30-ish. They assured her that it's not late for them batkids. She'd hugged them both, whispering to Jason, "be happy, Jason."; and something else that Jason couldn't hear to Tim.

Curiosity won, and Jason decided to ask. "What did Diana tell you when she hugged you?"

Tim smirked. "What did she tell you?"

"For me to be happy. You?"

"The same, with added, 'I've been told that it is a custom to tell a young man: you hurt your lover, I'll break both your legs and arms.' - quote-unquote. Apparently, Green Arrow suggested that, thinking she would be saying that to you."

"I'm hurt. Right here. After all I've done with Roy and all..." Jason pointed to his chest mockingly. A thought suddenly crossed Jason's mind. "Hey Tim?"

"Hmm... we're ten minutes out. What?"

"We're actually a couple, aren't we?"

"If you're thinking of changing your mind now, nearly eight weeks after the first time you asked me out on a date, you're a little too late."

"I'm not gonna." Jason assured him.

Tim was quiet for a few moments as Jason adjusted the plane's instruments for landing. And then he asked, "you know, I never knew why you suddenly decided you want to date me and woo me with food..."

Jason's memories flew back to the alternate reality, and he looked at Tim. "Let's just say I was given the chance to see that being with you is a lot better option than not." he grinned toothily.

"That's really cheesy." Tim quipped.

"I should let you know that I'm the king of Cheese and I've read a lot of them Harlequin novels."

"That... ew. If you ever think of spreading rose petals on the bed for me, I should let you know right now that I'm allergic to blatant cheesiness." Tim chuckled, "Landing gear down."

"Weeell... there goes my Valentine plans!" Jason mock-gasped. "How about lining up a few blocks of Narrows with bad guys you can punch all the way to the Penthouse, and then have some big-bad in the Penthouse - also so you can punch? That be a good V-day for you?"

Tim's laughter was a little delayed as he landed the plane perfectly. But it still sounded like music to Jason. "Oh, Jay-bear, you sure know how to woo a vigilante!" Tim sing-songed.

Jason just grinned when Tim looped an arm across his waist, in his jacket, as they walked to their waiting car. The night was still young, for bats, but it was still quiet. He has Tim, laughing quietly in Jason's arms. And Jason thought of the rooftop frolicking he'd seen in the alternate universe some months ago.

Maybe someday he'll be able to show Tim what he'd wanted, and how he's working to get it. Maybe someday Tim would get the happy-ever-after he told Diana. Jason just hoped that he, too, would be in it - he knew that he would work hard, short of selling his soul to be there.

Maybe someday they won't have to put on so much armor to fight the bads of Gotham, or elsewhere. Tonight, Jason didn't know who started it, but a few hours later, he found himself chasing Spoiler, who was Chasing Black Bat, who was chasing Tim, while Jason was being chased by Nightwing. The night was filled with happy shrieks and indignant squawks when somebody got tagged. The shrill, child-like growl of "I shall decimate you, Nightwing!" followed with a red-yellow-and-green blur told Jason that even the grumpy new little Robin has been roped in into the game.

For the first time in a very, very long time, Jason's smile felt just right on his face.

Even if he was tagged next - mid-flight and made him nearly missed his landing - by Tim.

"I'll get you, Red!" he threatened, quickly following the happy cackle. Oooh, he'll get Tim, alright.

[kneesheee]

Did it mean anything?

WARNINGS: MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH, DEPRESSION, CANON TYPICAL VIOLENCE, REFERENCES TO UNDERAGE SEX, PROSTITUTION, IMPLIED/REFERENCE TO RAPE

Lamia Marley Wayne was many things. She was a former Gotham street rat. She was Jason Todd’s best friend. She was Bruce Wayne’s first adopted daughter. She used to secretly be the second Batgirl. She was international supermodel. She was Cyan.

She was absolutely fucking done with this family of hers. -- Her story started years ago when she met a small street rat with bright teal eyes harden by the life they live trying to pickpocket the money she had just pickpocketed from Dopey Don. She didn’t barely spared him glance except for the glance at his eyes before her fist connected to his face.

Honestly, it was the start of a beautiful friendship.

They shared more punches and kicks and curses with each other than anyone else. And if you asked, they’d always say the other started it. He tried to steal from her (with a 50% chance of succeeding) and she’d catch him (with a 50% chance of failing) and then she’d beat the shit out of him while he defended himself accordingly but only with enough punches and kicks and grabs to restrain her and make her back off.

It wasn't until Pig Head Patrick tried to make a move on her did everyone realize (and this included the two of them) that the fights between them were more friendly than antagonizing. Like a street fighting version of Catwoman and Batman without all of the sexual tension.

Patrick had caught her while she had been distracted in her scheming (one of those Uptown Gothamites ventured to far away from their castle) and she was planning on making her move on that pretty diamond bracelet on the lady’s wrist when he nabbed her.  She put up a good fight, but she was small, starving, and exhausted and he eventually overpowered her. She nearly gave up all hope until her golden brown eyes caught sight of incredibly familiar teal eyes. She gave a small, almost unnoticeable nod and her teal eyed friend came flying out of the shadows armed with Batty Bryan’s favorite bat and swung it right upside Patrick’s head. He went downwith a painful yelp that was followed by another as the two of them both aimed a hit at his private.

They escaped down the side street (with Lamia still managing to slip off with the diamond bracelet) and eventually came to a stop at one of her various hideouts. It was awkward for a couple seconds before she mumbled out a genuine thanks.

“Names Lamia, by the way,” she included as she placed the bracelet in the box with the other valuables that she played to go sell the next morning. She had turned her back to him a sign of clear trust breaking one of the number one rules of the streets. Don't trust anyone.

“Jason,” the boy replied after a while. She peeked over at him and noticed the way he was looking at Meghan. The only working girl besides Christina and Erica and Rocky that fought in their heels for their respect and own protection. She was also one of the only girls around that cared about the children running around. Always bringing food for them and making sure they had some place warm to stay during the winter months.

“I'm going to regret this,” she sighed mentally. She didn't say anything, but grabbed the bracelet and handed it over to Jason before pushing him over to Meghan. She watched with a small smirk as Meghan caught him before he fell and how her mouth dropped open in shock at the bracelet he presented her. Her smirk only grew wider at the embarrassed smile and blush that made its way to his face as Meghan kissed him on the cheek and ruffled his hair as he slip the bracelet on her wrist like a true gentleman.

When he came back with the blush still on his cheeks and mock-glare thrown her way at her amusement, they both really understood that it really was the start of a beautiful friendship.

--

After that, they played lots of schemes together and causing mayhem all across Park Row. Even to be street rats, the two of them were incredibly beautiful. But they were also pain in the asses that were hard to catch. JT and Marley were what they were called. Little shits is what they were mainly named. Bonnie and Clyde is what the working girls called them. Neither cared what they called them, so as long as they did not catch them is all that mattered.

You couldn't take on one of them without expecting the other to come out of nowhere and beat the shit out of you. It happened before plenty of times. The older kids that staked “claims” and called “dibs” on Lamia tried cornering Jason once only to get a bag full of rocks falling on their heads and faces as she stood above them on the fire escape of Grandma Perkins’ apartment building. Or the time when Jason’s female fanclub decide to mess up that pretty face of hers because she was able to used her looks to get better deals. And Jason showed up and started flirting and distracting them only for Lamia to give them all nice and pretty dates with her fists because fuck that, JT. These littles bitches have pocket knives. They were fully prepared to slice me up.

They were best friends. But they were also more than that. They were the only things they had left. His father was a deadbeat and his mother was dead. Her mother and father were both assholes that tried to sell her for drugs and end up meeting their maker when she instead hid on the fire escape under their apartment before she took off. Some nights she can still hear the gunshots ringing in her ears.

She was the one that came up with the plan to do something big to get better pay. Batman was the only logical choice. You couldn't get near any of the other big bads around Gotham that ventured into the East End without ending up in one their little games. She planned for something simple like a batarang. Jason did one better and aimed for the tires.

She had been sitting on top of the third tire calculating the worth of each one and which dealer they planned on selling them to when Jason had came back with a scowl on his face. And not too far behind was the Bat himself.

Lamia scowled herself and threw a glare over at her partner in crime, “Dude, you never suppose to lead the victim back to the hideout.”

Jason scoffed, “He followed me. He wants to me to put the tires back.”

And that just won't do.

“Alright, B-Man, the only way you're getting these tires back is if you pay for them. And I  don't care how tough you are or how quick you can get these wheels back, I’ll follow you all around Gotham until I get my payment,” she sneered. She was bluffing, but no one ever called her out on her bluffs.

“Oh,” Batman stated as if he was talking to some child.

“Yeah, oh,  you big boob. You gotta be rich considering that car is built like a freaking tank and from the glimpse I had at it earlier, you must of had to weapons built in it. Especially that taser skin that shocked the shit out of Pig Head Pete when he touched it. That’s dumb by the way. You set that up to have your wheels snatched.”

“Yeah, that was stupid,” Jason chimed in from where he was leaning on the stack of wheels by her legs.

“So what is the price for my ignorance then,” Batman inquired. And Jason and Lamia had to really stop for a moment because what the fuck? Batman can literally be doing anything else, but here he is discussing tire deals with two notorious street rats.

Then Lamia looked at Jason and she remembered the look on Jason’s face when he saw one of the working girls. The look on his face when she used her looks to play over males and sometimes females hormones to get what she wanted without giving up anything. Or when the look on his face when he saw how the older girls succumbed to system of the streets and took claim of their own corners. Then she remembered how Jason looked when one of the other kids mentioned being hungry and too tired to do anything but not trusting going to sleep because they didn't know if they’d wake back up. How one of their hideouts became a safe haven and Meghan and Christina and Erica and Rocky and Punzie and Noelle sometimes came over and taught them how to read and how to write and how to even spell their names. And suddenly, Lamia knew exactly what she wanted.

“Help. Real help. They are so many kids around her that need help. And hope and love. You’re not helping us by fighting all of those criminals. The real help comes in when all of us kids around here can sleep peacefully at night without having to worry about if it's our last night and who we’d have to steal from in the morning. Real help comes when Meghan can finally get enough money to pay for nursing school and Erica can stop working her corner because none of the desk jobs called her back. When Rocky and Cristina can open the daycare they wanted and Punzie and Noelle can bring in enough money to feed their own kids and pay their bills. That’s what you can pay us.”

Jason glanced up at her and a look was shared. She hopped off the tires and helped him as he put them back on the Batmobile.

“We might not be big and bad like you, old man,” Jason started.

“But if you show up around this end without trying to make a better chance, we’ll find a way to run you out and make you pay, she finished before the two of them walked away.

It came to a surprise to them and near full blown out breakdown from her when Bruce Wayne came around to adopt them. Punzie was the one to convince to give it a go. She was always encouraging the kids around to go to orphanages and foster homes anything to get them off the street. Jason accepted it and he refused to leave her behind. So she accepted only after she conned Bruce into giving away a couple hundreds to the working girls that had flaunted and fluttered around the two of them making them presentable. They gave away all the stuff they managed to steal and kept hidden away to Doc and extracted a promise that he kept the safehaven running with his crew. Lamia even gave them her book of schemes of that she written down from one of the notebooks Noelle slipped her with a list of who were the easiest to steal from, alleys to escape through, hideouts they had, who to avoid, and which working girls deserved their respect and which ones didn't (Jason hadn't liked that part, but Lamia had been damned if she showed them respect when they treated her gum under their heels because she lived on the streets). --

The two of them struggled to fit in with the Wayne name. Their years on the street making them brash and rude and downright snarly to anyone they didn't know. They eventually mellowed out, but they didn't lose the edge the streets gave them. Honestly, the two of them spent more time with Alfred than they did with their new dad though the two of the would later realize that it was because he was the Batman and he was busy. But he still managed to find time to spend with them. Just not a lot, but enough that they could see he was trying.

It didn't even take long before the two of them started training. Jason to be Robin and Lamia because she was used to fighting and running and she had all the excess energy and anger bottled up. So they trained and trained and took their anger and frustration out on each other before Jason was flying across Gotham as the new bird in town. And then Lamia joined him as Barbara eased away from Batgirl and focused more on being Barbara Gordon.

Gotham had two new kids in town. Kicking ass and taking names later all across her rooftops.

In the media and in the public, the two hated being Wayne kids but they played their roles well. Lamia more than Jason because he wanted to spend all of his time reading and she wanted to spend all of her time wondering which rich prick she could slipped something completely unnoticeable off of and how much it’d cost one of the kids on the streets if she dropped it off to them. (She didn't succeed most of the time. Bruce and Alfred frowned upon such behavior and were always watching to make sure she kept her hands away from the prudes’ belongings).

It was a joint and conscious decision to fuck their older brother’s life up whenever he came around. Dick was well a dick. He was incredibly rude to the two of them because the costumes and names they were sporting. Because he was treating them like unwanted kids caught in the middle of a nasty divorce he was having with their dad.

She ran him away from the manor more than his arguments with Bruce did. No one picked on Jason in that manor but her. And if he thought she was going to let some circus brat  treat her Jace like shit, then he had another thing coming. And that's what she told Bruce and Alfred after they questioned her on why she dyed Dick’s hair bright pink with orange highlights after he called Jason street trash.

The two of them flourished at Gotham Academy after they cut down on all of the fights they had been in and after Jason gave Jeremiah Sionis a breakdown of how to respect women after Jeremiah made a comment about how Lamia had probably gave her body up while they had been staying on the streets. And they flourished even more when Lamia punched Sionis in the face and broke his nose,

“Even Daddy’s money can't fix that, Jeremy. The only thing I gave away on the streets were beatdowns for comments less than that remark. Remember that the next time you mention anything about me or any of the girls down in the East End.”

She had been suspended but Janus Cosmetics ended up under Bruce’s control, so she figured it had been a win. Even after his dad went crazy and criminal and Janus Cosmetics ended up being Jeremiah's inheritance (and the weird moment when Jeremiah decided he liked her feistiness and they’d be a beautiful couple).

It wasn't long before someone noticed how insanely beautiful the two of them were. Their looks on their own rivaling with their older brother and father. Companies all over wanted a Wayne for the face of their products, but they couldn't find Richard to make the deals. Bruce Brucie declined most of them and Jason didn't even bother to reply. But Lamia took it with favor. She quickly dominated the modeling industry and became America’s Sweetheart by giving away most of her money to the betterment and rebuilding of Park Row. And it was delightful. With the drug lords too busy trying to establish their rule in high class areas of Gotham, it kept a lot of attention off the East End which made it easier to rebuild some of the buildings in the area.

Lamia got Bruce to pull some strings and she and Jason both were the ones (with a shit ton of body guards even though they didn't need them regardless of their training) to track down Rapunzel Towers and Noelle Olaf and give them the deed to their new daycare center. And that same night, they both came back and placed their tags to let people know that the daycare was under their most noticeable protection. Lamia with the standard golden batgirl symbol and Jason with the famous Robin symbol.

One thing was certain though was that one never went too far from the other. She had a modeling gig in Metropolis… guess who was coming with her? He had test to make up for fourth period because he had been out with the flu… guess who was staying with him? She had detention or he had detention after school… guess who was finding a way to get into detention with the other. They were inseparable even the kidnappers knew that. Even Gotham’s Rogues knew that… ask Penguin what happened the one time he managed to nabbed Robin. She had him dancing like Happy Feet as he tried and failed to dodged her fist and the swings from his own umbrella she managed to grabbed before Batman called her off. Or ask Scarecrow how hard Robin punched him in the face enough to knock off his hat and break off his mask when he sprayed Batgirl with his fear gas. He had the wrong bird if thought Robin was going to be afraid of him.

They could survive without the other. They weren't codependent on each other at all. They just like being in each others presence by each other’s sides.

They were teammates. They were partners in crime justice. They were best friends. They were family. -- It was after another one of Jason’s horrible visits to the Teen Titans that they came to the decisions to start their own superhero team. Modelling gigs had been slow because Bruce made sure they understood that she was still a kid and that school did exist. The two of them were the top of their classes. Jason more so than her because he had a passion for school and learning that she didn't even see when they were running around Crime Alley.

It had been the weekend before school started back after Fall Break when he returned from his visit to their dear older brother. He had scowl that matched the one he wore the first time she caught him stealing from her and she punched him. He didn't say anything to Bruce and Alfred, but she managed to draw the story out of him. They treated him as if he was invisible even though the Robin suit was brighter than all of their futures and only paid attention to him when he did something wrong. When he did something JasonRobin and not DickRobin and Lamia can admit that she was insanely protective of Jason. Of Bruce. Of Alfred. Even Barbara (she looked at Barbara with stars in her eyes. She was so cool but the stars dimmed and exploded into black holes whenever she makes a comment about Jason never being Dick Grayson. As if anybody would want to be that asshole).

“I hate going there. And worse because you're not there because even though Dickhead doesn't say anything to me when I'm there; he makes them leave me alone when you're around for some reason,” Jason muttered bitterly.

“He’s scared of Barbara and if he insults me, then I twist his words around, make it believable and tell Barbara that he insulted Batgirl in general,” Lamia shrugged. Her words didn't even bring a small smile to his face like she hoped. “Forget the Teen Titans. Who would want to be apart of thier stupid group anyway? Seriously, who's bright idea was make their headquarters a giant T? That's not suspicious at all.”

Her words brought out something that she was not expecting. She wasn't expecting at all. Her instincts were screaming at her to abort, but before she could Jason dropped a bombshell.

“Let's start our own team,” he told her as if he didn't just state that he wanted to start a team of teen partners even though there was already a group for that and neither of them liked working with anyone that didn't wear the Bat Symbol or worked in Gotham (Nightwing not included).

No, there was no way she was agreeing to that. One of the had to be the mature one and dammit if it had to be her then---  “Okay. Let's do it. I know the perfect place to have a headquarters.”

And that's how the two of them started brainstorming their own team even getting Bruce in on it because they weren't going to be like Dick and started a team out of spite and need to prove anything. One thing Bruce taught them as heroes they had to learn how to accept help even if he couldn't seem to follow that advice himself.

While Dickhead had his team in New York in their T, Lamia came up with the idea of having their team in Happy Harbor hidden in that mountain that Bruce had once used as warehouse. He didn't look shock that she knew about the location, but he did managed to look shock when Jason pulled up the schematics on the Batcomputer and the two of began outlining what they planned for it look like. And even more shock when they pulled up potential candidates for their team.

Connor Hawke-Queen Age: Fifteen Alias: Argent

Kyle Rayner Alias: Ion (Green Lantern) Age: Fourteen

Christopher Kent Alias: Superboy Age: Thirteen

Dove Lance-Queen Alias: White Siren Age: Fourteen

Artemis of Bana-Mighdall Alias: Artemis (Wonder Woman) Age: Thirteen

Bruce only chuckled. Trust his children to already be ready to start their own team and have most of the details already worked out. He also made a mental note to tighten the security around of the files he has on the members of the League. The knowledge of their new partners hadn't even went mainstream all of them still in training.

“No speedsters?” He questioned mockingly as he moved closer to help them with everything. Both of them snorted.

“Unless Barry or Wally have an aged up kid somewhere, then no. Besides, we have a White Siren. Someone trained by Black Canary which means they also learned some moves from Wildcat. Personally, it don't get no better,” Lamia stated as she expanded the size of the training room.

It didn't take long for their secret hideout to be built. It was also one of the best kept secrets of the League on Jason and Lamia’s request because they didn't want Dick to come and throw a hissyfit about it before it even started.

It took a little convincing for the other mentors to agree to the plan, but Lamia and Jason basically told them that didn't plan on being like the Titans. Spending weeks on end in their little city and barely visiting the mentors and forgetting their roots, and to make the point even more known they agreed that the Zeta Tubes that Bruce included in the blueprints were synced to the transporters in the Watchtower and Den Mothers Black Canary and Wonder Woman.

“So what's your name, kids,” Green Arrow asked as he fussed over the stupid hat that was perched on top of Connor’s head. Jason and Lamia shared a look. Definitely getting rid of that.

“We were thinking the Outlaws,” Jason commented daring anyone to argue on the name.

“Why,” Flash had questioned.

“Being vigilantes is illegal for one.  And because we didn't follow behind Nightwing and joined his little merry band of misfits and turn our backs on our mentors. Like Outlaws,” Lamia shrugged. “It's not really a good reason, but we’re not changing our minds.”

And just like that, the Outlaws were born and took on fighting crime in Happy Harbor. And it worked for everyone as if fate made the conscious decision to make sure they all spent their time there. Summer had officially started so Jason, Lamia, Dove, Connor, and Kyle had more time on their hands to spend in Happy Harbor. Especially with Lamia taking on more gigs in the area to make up for her time there and Jason never went without her.

And the friendship that between Brucie Wayne and Ollie Queen was made way for the incredible friendship between Oliver’s son and stepdaughter and Bruce’s children. In an effort to not have Artemis there by herself, Bruce paid the way for Kyle and his mother to switch to Happy Harbor which included giving Miss Rayner the job of being the live-in Den Mother of the mountain. He even paid for one Meghan Hills to be the live in nurse for their medical wing. It ended up including Chris to switch to Happy Harbor High School on a baseball scholarship which was just so Artemis still wouldn't be by herself when Kyle had to take his trips to space.

Of course, the Outlaws received a lot of backlash from the Teen Titans whenever the two teams end up meeting up in the Watchtower for diagnostics exchanges. But they all just let the insults roll off them and ignored the older kids. Though that was because the last time they gave them attention, Lamia punch Roy hard enough in the face for his comments about Connor that she dislocated his jaw.

“Argent could have caught my fist before it even got close to his face. Guess they were wrong to give you the name Speedy,” she had scoffed before she walked off and joined her teammates to go back to the Mountain.

Like the Titans, the Outlaws were a family. Unlike the Titans, the mission of being heroes and proving they were independence didn’t stop them from enjoying their lives. Outside of the hero business, they lived normal lives or as normal as they could get. Dove like her mother took on a love for flowers and she joined the gardening club at her school. Connor, despite his aloofness, took on being a playboy like his father except his relationships lasted longer. They were all good relationships but they ended whenever the girls got too comfortable and thought they had succeeded in getting a hand in Queen’s Family Fortune. Artemis ended up joining the swim team at their school. Chris did end up joining the baseball team and enjoyed it. He had more fun when practicing in the mountain with Kyle making constructs to help him with his batting and pitching.

They had scheduled movie and game nights. Sleepovers at each other houses. There was even the time when they all became each other's first time.

They were teammates. They were partners in crime justice. They were best friends. They were family. -- Lamia had been the first person that Jason told about his plan to track down his mother. She had wanted to go, but he managed to convince her to stay. She did have a big show to do that week so she stayed behind but only if he promised to let her know when he made it, when he found the woman, if he ran into any trouble, and when he was on his way back. And he made her promise to tell Bruce after three hours which gave him a better head start on him.

And three hours after he left, she told Bruce and waited patiently with Alfred for the two of them to return home. It wasn't until the fourth day of the showcase when she received the news about Jason’s death, she broke down and left in the middle of the show to rush home because she couldn't believe it.

While she was on her way home, she was desperately checking her phone for messages from Jason to say that it was some prank. Only to find out that fate decided it hated her because messages began pouring in hours late of Jason telling her how he and B had tracked down his mother. About her shady past. About how he planned to help her. About how B told him to stay behind while he chased after Harley.

That was when she could tell the messages switched from him typing on his phone to him switching to the voice command that connected with his mask that finished his messages as he put his phone back in his utility belt. And then more messages came. His mother had played on his emotions and vulnerability of wanting to know her. She had sold him out to the Joker and stood and smoke a cigarette while Joker beat him.

Lamia couldn't believe the words on the screen. Just like she couldn't believe that Jason was dead even after she was standing and crying over his body.

Jace, how could you forget the number one rule? Don't trust anybody.

Lamia lost herself. She didn't make anymore appearances. Why should she when her number one supporter was gone? Most of her time was spent huddled in Jason room or staring absently out the windows of her own room. Or she’d go to the mountain and stare at the pictures of Jason in his Robin suit that littered their walls. And damn sure putting more effort in ignoring Dick because how fucking dare he try to play big brother now!

And Batgirl? She became more frightening than Batman. And he was scaring the shit out of everyone in his anger. Her punches became harder and words became sharper and deadlier. She made more criminals run just by the cold fury in her heart. Especially when that fury got punched to an all time high when she caught word of what Joker did to Barbara.

Nothing had been more satisfying to her when she had fell off the map locked in an abandoned apartment in Old Gotham where she beat the hell out of Joker every day with a crowbar. And whenever she got tired, she remembered how pale and cold and bloody Jason had looked like on the medical table in the Batcave. How peaceful despite the way he was killed in his coffin. She remembered the despair in Barbara’s face when it became clear that she’d never walk again and she got pissed and energize all over again. And her swings only got harder every time that damned clown laughed.

Honestly, she couldn't remember much about that week but she did remember the moment when she was bringing down the crowbar for another swing and Flash… Her Uncle Barry pried the crowbar out her hands as her Uncle Hal (to Bruce’s horror) lifted the Joker away. She remembered how she broke down in her Uncle Barry’s arms as he carried her away and back to the Batcave where her dad had grabbed her and wrapped his cape around her as she cried into his arms.

Jason was her teammate. Her partner in crime justice. Her best friend. Her family.

How could she managed to live without him? -- Time passed as fickle thing to her. Days became weeks. Weeks became months. She didn't seem to notice at all.

Batgirl had retired after word got out about her beating the Joker that landed him a coma. A coma that lasted for two months before he was thrown back into Arkham. It wasn't enough. It would never be enough.

She didnt noticed anything outside of her little bubble. She moved only enough to eat, shower, and use the restroom. And the few things she did manage to concentrate on was the Outlaws as she lead them from the base because it was the only place besides the manor that she could bask in the presence of Jason and focus on the life around her. It was as if he was still by her side in his Robin uniform leaning against the console trying to look cool and inconspicuous as he stared at Kyle and Artemis with hearts in his eyes.

She didn't even notice when Tim came into the picture. In the deep part of her subconscious, she registered his presence as the Scrawny Stalker. But on the outside, it was as if she didn't even noticed he existed. And the same could be said when Cass was brought into the picture. She didn't even blink when Barbara asked her how she felt about letting Cass be the new Batgirl. Just let her do her thing.

She was completely bitter in the her mind as she subconsciously took note of how Dick doted on his newest siblings. How she wanted to go over to him and tear him apart limb by limb because he never treated her and Jason like that. He never looked at Jason liked he was precious jewel worth keeping locked up and safe. She hated him for it. Especially when he came forward with that stupid nickname Little Wing. The one he gave Jason after the two of them let their guards down and trusted Dick when his only time trying to be a good sibling produced a nickname only to ruthlessly throw their trust back in their faces when he got into another argument with Bruce and threw Jason into the crossfire. Lamia had never wanted to kill someone as bad as she had wanted to kill Dick that day. Now all of her murderous tendencies are for Joker, but the point still remained.

But that was her subconscious and she dutifully ignored it.

Her depression went deeper when Maura Rayner. She barely managed to keep up a brave face for Kyle, but she did. Her love and dedication to the young Lantern and her love for Maura was the another lapse in her depression. It didn’t stick and she fell deeper into the recess of her mind whenever Kyle wasn’t around for her to provide comfort.

Maybe it was a respect thing that Tim didn't try to hang out with the Outlaws. Though it was probably because Dick was stealing Tim and taking him on trips around the Titan’s Tower instead. That was fine with Lamia. No one from the Bat Family besides Alfred and Bruce were allowed in the Mountain anyway since before Jason died. It was under mutual agreement to make Nightwing’s life hell whenever he or his friends tried. With the exception of Donna though that was more of Jason and Artemis joint puppy dog eyes and because Lamia was also a fan of Wonder Girl even though Artemis was to take on the title whenever Donna ascended the name.

She remembered the day her subconscious caught up to her conscious and all hell broke loose. She had finally suck up the courage to go down to the Batcave only to see that horrifying memorial and Tim in a Robin suit. Lamia could feel that rage bubble over the surface especially after she caught sight of the engravement. A Good Soldier.

She didn't recall much of what happened after she released all of her anger, but she vaguely remembered cursing in every language she knew. She remembered attacking Nightwing and Tim as she aimed to attack her dad. She remember how she froze the second the name “Gem” tumbled from Dick’s lips. She remembered how all of her muscles tense with a burst of pure undisguised anger and hatred as it registered in her ears. The nickname that only Jason called her in reference to her middle name. One of the few precious treasures that she had left from Jason. How fucking dare he taint it? She vaguely remembered the punch to his gut that landed Dick flat on his ass. But she vividly remembered with she grabbed one of Nightwing’s escrima sticks and swung it as hard she could and the satisfaction she had when it cracked the glass case. She knew she didn't say much of anything else but she stormed back up into the manner, packed her clothes and belongings and some sentimental items out of Jason’s room and escaped to the Mountain throwing her key to the Manor behind her.

She was done with them.

-- It was after she had some therapy with Dinah and learn to meditate from Artemis did she managed to control her anger and finally grieve properly. It was after the encouragement of Dove and Kyle that she took up training again. So she traveled to the Middle East and tracked down Bruce’s exgirlfriend Talia. If she was going to train, then she was going to train for the best she had to offer. She trained under many people like Lady Shiva, Richard Dragon, Deathstroke even Talia herself. And even though Talia was against it, she went to train with the All Caste. She ended becoming a member, but ended up leaving to return to her friends.

She returned to the hero business, but this time she went by Cyan the color of her magical sword from the All Caste and the magical camouflage cloak that she wore.

It was Chris that encouraged her to make amends with her family and she did so reluctantly. It was around that time that she learned of all of the craziness that had happened while she spent time away. Tim became Robin. He became an orphan and then turned around and got adopted then he quit. And then his ex girlfriend who only had a couple lessons of martial arts from the kung fu dongo in Old Gotham that joined the hero business as Spoiler to stop her dad had became Robin, the girl wonder. Then she ended getting fired and died at the hands of Black Mask. (Lamia couldn't help but to wonder if that was how she would’ve ended up if she had dated Jeremiah) So Tim became Robin again and rumor has it that he plan on starting his own little hero group called Young Justice out in San Francisco since Dickhead and his Titans moved their base to New York and Dickhead permanently left Bludhaven behind. And apparently, Cass found out she was the daughter of Lady Shiva (huh, now I know who the assassin had reminded me of) with her mother proclaiming that her destiny is to one day kill her.

She was so done.

The reconcile was messy and sometimes downright violent especially whenever the cautionary tale of not being like Jason creeps into conversation. Which led Lamia snapping at the breakfast table that no one besides her, Alfred, sometimes Bruce, and the other Outlaws really fucking knew Jason and the next person that says anything out of line about him can't hold her responsible for her actions. Most of the time she and Dick were fighting especially when he tried to play big brother.

“Get the hell out of my way, Dickface. The only brother I have is Jason. So you should stop trying to squeeze into shoes that you could never fill,” she had snapped on more than one occasion.

Her anger and bitterness she had with the family led to her moving permanently out of the Manor and into an apartment in the City Hall District. She barely stayed there, but she had zeta tube built into the basement of building that she bought out and is “under construction”. The security of her home rivaled Barbara, Tim, and Bruce mainly because she spent years studying the security of the Batcave and Barbara’s Clocktower and she learned a good amount of things from the Shadows and a touch of magic though not much she learned from the All Caste kept her “family” out of her home. And she enjoyed the looks she got whenever she went to the Manor and she noticed the frustrations in their eyes and she couldn't help but wonder which annoying preppy song they ended up being forced to listen to whenever they hit one of her firewalls.

Her anger was still there dancing like fire under her skin, but she kept it under control. She ended forming a bond with her new sister and brother. She spent a lot of time with them outside of the suits. Cass and Tim hung onto her every word whenever she spoke about the trouble her and Jason used to get into. They could easily see that his death still affected her after all of this time and felt undeniably guilty for keeping the secret of his existence from her. But they said nothing and complied to Bruce’s orders to not telling her.

Her entrance back into the limelight was one that took the world by storm. It was as if she was preteen again as she quickly ascended back to the top pedestal in the modeling world and having more interviews than days of the year. She dropped the Wayne part of her name though she knew she couldn't escape the legacy, but whenever she was on the runway…. She wasn't Lamia Wayne. She was just Lamia. --

The Red Hood. She had heard many things about the crime lord and of course none of them were good. He stayed away from Happy Harbor and that was fine by her. She had heard of how he beat Tim within a inch of his life and the time he blew up Sionis’ headquarters with a rocket launcher. She heard about the headless drug dealers and many other things. She learned of how he had settled in Bludhaven as the kind of hero that she and Jason would have love when they were kids. She knew that the superhero community did not like him and were planning to take him out without damage to their reputation.

What she hadn't known was that he was her very much alive and not-dead best friend.

She had been visiting the Batcave to use the computer to cross reference information on a drug dealer showing up in in the Harbor when she saw it. Descending down the stairs, the first few things she noticed were her father and her siblings standing around the computer. Oracle was showing on one screen with the not actually dead Spoiler standing slightly behind her. And on a larger screen was:

Jason Todd Alias: Robin, Red Hood Status: Alive

She dropped the tray of drinks she had been bringing down for Alfred.

All eyes turned to her, but she paid no mind because all she could pay attention was the fact that Jason was alive.

“Mia,” Dick called out hesitantly as their father hurriedly closed the tab. Still she paid him no notice. Not even when Alfred, drawn from the sound of the crash, placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“How long,” she heard herself ask. “How long have you known?”

No one spoke for awhile. Then her father Bruce stated, “Shortly after he arrived on the scene.”

“I'm not wrong to assume you all knew,” she asked to the room as a whole. At their sheepish nods, she felt her fists clench together. “Why wasn't I made aware of this?”

“I fail to see how it concerns you,” was what Bruce stated.

“BULLSHIT!” she screeched. “Jason is MINES! I should've been the first person you told.”

Bruce paused. And Lamia faltered when she saw the sparks from her fist as her swords fought to be free. She took a deep breath and reigned in some of her anger. Just enough keep it from happening again.

“Why didn't you tell me,” she stressed. Her voice sounded broken and lost to her own ears.

“Mia,” Dick started and nearly paused when her intense gaze focused on him. “He’s not the Jason you remember.”

A snarl made its way to her face at his words, “You don't know the Jason I remember.”

Dick winced because yeah, he sought himself up for that. “I deserve that, but Mia, this Jason kills people. He tried to kill Timmy!”

She scoffed none too gently, “Dick, I tried to kill Timmy. I tried to kill you.”

Tim winced because it was true. He remember the look of pure murder in her eyes when she first saw him in the Robin suit.

“Your connection to Jason leaves clouds your judgement and compromises your safety,” Bruce stated in his Batman voice booking no argument.

“Pot meet Kettle,” she shot back. “Or did you forget about all of the scum that you put in the hospital?”

Bruce growled and glared and if she was the same girl she was years ago… if she wasn't so fuel by her anger and grief these days then she would've flinched and submitted to his every demand. But Lamia wasn't that little girl and even that little girl was defiant. She glared back at him and pulled herself up to full height. Which actually wasn't that much. She was basically the same height as Cass.

“You will stay away from the Red Hood. Thats an order,” he stated effectively ending the conversation.

“Fucking watch me,” she hissed before spinning on her heel and walked right passed Alfred on the stairs. She’d be damned if anything was going to keep her from Jason. Death itself did not managed.

What made Bruce think he could? -- Lamia pulled into Bludhaven on her bike with her cape flying dramatically out behind her. She had a dark scowl on her face that shown even through the domino mask. She looked around the streets before driving down an alley and stashing her bike. Pulling herself onto the rooftops, she put down the box of extra and new supplies and waited. Because Jason was a Bat no matter how long he and how far he flew from the Cavern. And all bats did everything in their power to kick unwanted heroes out their turfs. She pulled out her phone as she waited and noticed the very extensive list of missed calls and text messages just waiting and screaming for her attention. Scoffing, she turned her phone off and gaze out into the city.

It wasn't much. It wasn't Gotham nor Happy Harbor. It didn't hold the same beauty she had for either of her cities. She absently traced the remembrance rune with Jason’s name tatted on around that she got on impulse with the other Outlaws during Dove’s obsession with the Mortal Instruments book series.

“Who are you,” a small voice questioned shocking Lamia out of her daze. She calmly turned her head to the size to see a small girl staring up at her clutching tightly to a phone.

That's right. Jason uses a number for the kids to contact him for help.

“I'm looking for Red Hood. Do you know where I can find him?”

“No,” the girl said immediately. “You're a cape. You're just going to hurt him.” “I'm not going to hurt him,” she denied and lied immediately. She was going to kick his fucking ass. “I need to talk to him. It's important.”

“About what,” the girl inquired.

“None of your business,” Lamia snapped irritated before she took a deep breath. It would do her no good if she pissed the little girl off and that meant she’d probably have to actively search for Jason. And then she can't even promise that she wouldn't send him back to a grave if she had to do that. “Look, doll, I need you to call up Hood so that me and him can talk. And if it makes you feel any better, then you can stay here and listen. I promise not to fight him.”

The girl stared at her phone a few moments before dialing a number on the phone and walking a little further away to speak quietly to who she was guessing was Jason.  Few moments later, she hung up but she kept her distance so Lamia could only guess that Jason was on his way.

She felt nervous to what she was going to actually say to him when he showed up. She didn't really know how to feel. Relief and happiness were quite evident, but she was angry and sad and confused. And quite honestly, she was so tired of secrets.

She heard him before the acknowledgement was made. She was glad that she brought supplies because that grappling hook sound horrible.

“Izzy said you had something important to tell me, he stated after a while from behind her. She slowly turned and came domino to domino with the bestfriend she had once loss. He had ditched the red hood and the white streak in his curly hair shined brilliantly. Lazarus Pits, a voice whispered in her head that sound a lot like Talia and Ra Al Ghul. He was taller and buffer than she remembered. He had filled out nicely and it was evident that his thunder thighs he had as a child were even thicker and delicious. The stray thought of how he’d fit into the Outlaw dynamic now flittered around in her mind before she chased it away.

“Yes. First, I want to say, sorry Izzy for lying,” and before anyone could process her statement, her fist connected with his face like all of those years ago when they first met.

“How fucking dare you,” she hissed dangerously. “You left me!”

Izzy froze in her spot. Seemingly wanting to interrupt and hit her back but refraining from doing so because Jason was there and she knew he could handle himself.

“Four years and nine months, Hood. You left me for four years and nine months! Do you know how fucking lost I've been without you!”

“What the hel-”

“SHUT UP! YOU DON'T GET TO SPEAK! NOT NOW! FOUR YEARS AND NINE MONTHS I HAVE BEEN GRIEVING OVER YOU. ON THE VERGE OF LOSING MY FUCKING SANITY BECAUSE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TO LIVE WITHOUT YOU BY MY SIDE! I CRIED OVER YOU! I BEAT JOKER INTO A COMA FOR YOU! I GAVE UP MY LIFE BOTH OF THEM FOR YOU! I NEARLY KILLED ‘WING AND ROBIN FOR YOU!” Her voice rose with every word until she was screaming at the top of her lungs. She forced herself to stay rooted in her spot. She wouldn't continue to attack him. Not with the little girl on the roof that could catch the brute of it if they were careful. And if it came down to it, careful was going to be out the window.

“After everything we have been through together, why didn't you tell me? Why did I have to be last person to know? Forget everyone else. You’re my brother. You're mine. I thought we were family! But all of them knew about you before I did! I swear to the gods of Olympus that I want to kill you right now.”

“G-”

“Its Cyan now,” she snapped. She glared even harsher at him, “I have so many things I want to say to you. I had a whole speech ready when I was on my way over here. But honestly, right now I don't know what to say but to wonder if all of those years together meant anything to you? Because they meant everything to me.”

Tears were gathering in her and streaming down only to be captured by her mask. She clenched her fist together. “Be honest with me.”

“Fuck,” he growled. The two of them seemingly forgot the little girl standing on the roof with them. Jason began to pace around in agitation. “You don't think they meant anything to me? Those years with you by my side mean more to me than anything else in my life. You don’t know how hard i've been beating myself and stopping myself from traveling over to Gotham and the Harbor to come see you. Tell you that I was back.”

“Then why didn't you,” she cried out.

“Because I'm not the same person you remember!” he yelled back. “I'm not the little kid form you memories. I'm a monster now. A killer.”

“I don't care what the hell you think you are,” she spazzed. “I don't care if you’re a monster. You don't think I look myself in the face and think the same thing every time i snap and black out in anger? You're my best friend, Red. You always have been and I don't care if i have to come to say every day to stick it in your head. You are mine and I am yours. And nothing can change that.”

He shook his head and took a step away from her as if he was going to leave. She shot forward and latched onto his wrist as she looked him in lenses of his mask as if she was looking into his eyes.

“I am so fucking happy that you're alive and that you came back. I don't want to ever lose you again,” she pleaded. Her voice choked up on words and she left the sob stuck in her throat out as Jason pulled her into a tight hug. “I missed you so much and I'm just so happy you're back. Please. Please. Don't leave me again.”

She could feel him shaking as he pulled her closer and she held onto him just as tightly. “Never again, Gem. I promise.”

They stayed that way for awhile longer before the sound of a camera clicking drew their attention to the little standing to side looking sheepishly at them. “The other kids wanted to know what was going on. Im posting it on the website.”

Jason groaned softly before chuckling and pulling away from her. He looked over her shoulder to the box still sitting where she had first stood before she punched him. “You brought gifts?”

She scoffed lightly. Her whole being still overcome with emotions, “A peace offering if it came to the point of us beating the mess out of each other and throwing each other off the buildings.”

“You were prepared to lose,” he teased and she let a smile dance across her lips. “If anyone was going to lose, it was going to be you.”

He smiled at her. “Wait here, let me get Izzy back home and we can catch up.”

“I’ll like that,” she smiled back. The long suffering amount of anger that burned like fire in her veins simmered down and cooled as she finally felt true happiness in her being after so long.

Because Jason was back and everything was going to be okay. She finally had her family back and that was all that mattered.

[esculentevil]

Joking Mirrors 2: Loud Laugh

Little Laugh shares the epic news and invites even more to be told! Set after BatJokes: Special.

Lego Movie Joker: HE DIDN'T FORGET OUR FIRST DATE!!!!

Jared Leto Joker: ... Uh, what?

90's Animated Joker: Wait, what the happy did I miss?

Heath Ledger Joker: Same thing, uh, I did?

Golden Age Joker: Freudian Slip.

Lego Movie Joker: Batman! He didn't forget, after all!

Jared Leto Joker: [sighs slowly, eyes still wide] Ah... He meant first meeting...

The other Jokers: Ooooh

Europa Comics' Joker: That [giggle] is so NOT what he said.

Golden Age Joker: Hence "Freudian Slip."

Heath Ledger: [amused; sniggers]

Lego Movie Joker: Guuuuuuuuuuuys! Are you listening?!

Golden Age Joker: [while everyone else is joining Ledger's sniggers] Yes, yes; we are, Lil'Laugh. Now... [eyes the glittering Lego block he's never before seen on Little Laugh's hand-claw; points a bit suspiciously at it; is the oldest as well as the original and is, therefore, the overly protective one] What... is that?

Lego Movie Joker: [blushes as all other Jokers turn and notice what the Leading Joker did; smiles surprisingly softly] His... his mother's engagement ring...

All Other Jokers: [staring, eyes wide]

Martha Wayne Joker1: [hums; speaks softly but sternly, like a mother would] So my son—in your world, at least—has finally admitted it? He told you the words?

All Other Jokers: [confused as fungus]

Lego Movie Joker: [blushing brightly; smiling softly still] ... Yea

Jared Leto Joker: Wait... what're you two talking about?

Heath Ledger Joker: Yea...?

Martha Wayne Joker: [shakes her head] It will loose meaning if I tell any of you. [smiles slightly while leaving] You'll just have to wait your turns~

All Other Jokers: ... what the...?

Lego Movie Joker: [smiles while imagining all their faces when their world's version of this precious ring is given to them like it was to him; jolts and smiles wider as his Harley Quinn bangs on his door to let him know his Crew is ready] Well! [waits for all the remaining Jokers to look at him before grinning] I gotta go! We're throwing a party to celebrate; I just wanted to let you all know. Love you! Can't wait for you to get yours! Bye bye~! [leaves with an enthusiastic wave]

All Other Jokers: ... What...? Love you, too...

Footnotes:

1 Yes, you read that right; Martha Wayne is both Batman's/Bruce Wayne's mother and a Joker. For those that don't know, in one version of events, Bruce Wayne dies instead of his parents that faithful night at the movie theater. The result is Martha Wayne becoming the Joker after going insane and Thomas Wayne—Bruce's father—becoming Batman. Read more HERE.

[radioleary-blog]

The Injustice League

If we had to elect a billionaire womanizer with anger issues, I wish we had elected Bruce Wayne instead. That I could get behind. Think about it, President Batman. How does that sound? Pretty damn awesome, that’s how that sounds! “Pow!” “Biff!” “Ka-Pow!”  I love those comic book sound effects that accompany a solid kick to the face or a roundhouse punch on the old Adam West Batman show. I bet “Ka-Pow!” probably hurt a hell of a lot more than “Biff!” or “Pow!”, right? There was definitely a wide range of fight sound effects, I actually did a little research to find some other real examples of superheroes hitting each other, and they weren’t all great:

“Bam!” That’s not a punch, that’s the sound of that obnoxious midget Emeril Lagasse cooking food on TV.

“Zonk!” Sounds less like a mighty blow from Thor’s hammer and more like the stoner from Doonesbury doing blow and getting hammered.

“Boom!” “Crash!” These two word show up a lot in comics, and what scares me is these are the same words they use on Wall Street every day to describe what’s happening to our retirement accounts. It doesn’t exactly fill me with confidence that fluctuations in the market are like Batman’s fist, and my 401K is the Joker’s face.  

“Crack!” “Zap!” “Crash!” That sounds like the drug you did, the police hitting you with a taser, and the sound you make as you hit the sidewalk. I would imagine the next sound effects would be “Make-Bail!” “Court-Appear!” and “Do-Time!”          “Fap!” “Fwap!” “Sock!” “Bonk!” “Bamf!” “Wank!” “Splooge!” I kid you not, these were all really used in Marvel Comics from the 1980s. But it sounds more like the soundtrack of every teenage comic book nerd discovering masturbation. The next sound effect was most likely “Ma! Don’t You Knock?!”

But I digress. President-elect Batman. The Caped Crusader-in-Chief. The Dark Knight POTUS. Sure, it’s crazy, but I think that actually sounds less insane than our reality here on Earth-Prime, with President-elect Donald J. Trump. What the hell happened? Is it just me, or does it feel a little like we somehow stepped into an alternate reality that really wasn’t supposed to happen. Like someone messed up the timestream, and we all have a residual memory of things having been better somehow in a significantly different world. We can feel it in our bones, that things were intended to go down another way. It’s kind of like The Man In the High Castle, Philip K. Dick’s dystopian novel of an alternative reality where America lost World War II. It was a book I loved as a young man and read over and over, but now I know it as that show that’s supposed to be good that I can’t see because I don’t have Amazon. I preferred the book. There are certainly parallels, Trump actually lives in a high castle. But it’s more like The Man In the Gaudy Ostentatious Gold-Plated Tower. And rather than leading an underground resistance against Nazi and Imperial Japanese rule, he just kind of causes traffic in midtown Manhattan to become a permanent unmoving cluster-fuck from MoMa to The Met.

Maybe Donald Trump is like Batman from an alternate reality where his parents don’t get killed in an alley during a robbery attempt. So rather than devote his life to seeking justice and protecting the city from evil, he instead goes on the Howard Stern show and talks to Baba Booey about third-world swimsuit models he’s banged while he and one of his three wives were “on a break��. You know, Bruce Wayne only pretended to be a shallow, rich, gropey asshole so people would never suspect he was secretly a hero. I don’t think our President is pretending, and I don’t suspect he’s secretly a hero, either. I hope he is a hero, sure, but I still hope Andy Kaufman is just faking his own death, too.

Hey! Wait a minute! This explains why Trump’s eyes are so white while the rest of his face is burnt orange! He wears a mask! Holey Moley, It’s all starting to make sense! But whereas Batman fought the Penguin, The Riddler, and Poison Ivy, Trump mostly just fought Rosie O’Donnell. And a girl in a beauty pageant. And the cast of Hamilton. And I don’t think he actually won any of those fights, either. While Batman keeps the peace in Gotham City, one time on the Celebrity Apprentice Donald Trump kept Meatloaf and Gary Busey from fist-fighting over missing art supplies. Yeah, Batman seems like the better choice to me. Although I wonder what the sound effects would be for a Batman administration? “Veto!” “Photo-Op!” “Fund-Raise!”

As I’ve been thinking about this, and taking this weak premise far too seriously, I’m beginning to realize I may have some real problems with a Batman presidency. Not so much with the hitting and the vigilante stuff. Not with the fact that he’s a lunatic who deludedly thinks he rules a major metropolitan city, and if anyone else in a costume challenges him, he locks them away in Arkham mental asylum. No, my problem is the way he treats Alfred. Batman just may be a republican after all, because he treats Alfred the way the Walton family treat Wal-Mart employees.

How come every villain in Gotham City, from Clayface to Two-Face, they all have dozens and dozens of well-trained mercenary henchmen working for them, but Batman? He’s just has Alfred. He makes Alfred do absolutely everything. Bruce Wayne is like the richest man in Gotham City, but he’s too cheap to hire any real workforce? No wonder Gotham City is constantly overrun by criminals - Bane’s got an elite squad of para-military assassins knocking off the Gotham Bank, and Batman’s got an 85 year old British guy who’s gotta finish a load of laundry before he gasses up the Batmobile.

Alfred is like, “Yeah, right away, ‘Master Bruce’, mind if I put your damn socks away before I do the pre-flight check on the Bat-Copter? ‘Cause if I don’t take them out of the dryer right now, everything is going to be wrinkled AF by the time you get back.”

“You do realize I’ve only been trained to kiss rich people’s asses and serve soup, right? You want me to set the table and get the door? No problem. You want me to load Kryptonite missiles onto the Bat-Tank? Then you better download the manual, Caped Crusader, because they didn’t cover that shit in butler school. It’s bad enough you’ve got me changing the oil in the Bat-Jet while I’m wearing a tuxedo, but then I gotta keep dinner warm all night while you brood over the city from the top of a watertower.”

“You know, you employ like 50,000 people worldwide with this Wayne Foundation and Wayne Industries, and routinely hire thousands more temporary workers and independent contractors. You know that, right? You are on the board of directors. Here’s a crazy idea, let me get back to polishing the silver and ironing your cape, and maybe you bring in some people who are actually qualified to run your advanced-weapons motor pool.”

Is it my imagination or does it look like Alfred works seven days a week? Every crisis I’ve ever seen in Gotham, Alfred is always right there. I’ve never seen him take a day off. You’d think if something happened on a weekend, Bruce Wayne would have like a part-time guy there. “Hey, Travis, is it? Can you hold off on doing those dishes and run down to the Bat-Cave and dig out my underwater Batsuit? Killer croc is starting some shit. No, I don’t know where it is exactly, Have you looked by the giant penny? Or the T-Rex? Alfred has his own system. You guys need to communicate on things like this.”

You think Alfred ever hangs out with Jarvis, the Avengers’ butler, and they just bitch about their jobs? “You just have Batman, you have it easy, Thor leaves his hammer laying around and I can’t move it, I have to vacuum around it, and I always vacuum up Ant-Man. And they ought to call her the Scarlet Bitch, let me tell you.”

But it just goes to show you how old these characters are that they have a butler. Who the hell has a butler these days? Mike Tyson had an entourage of like 50 people, but even he didn’t have a butler. A tiger-wrangler? Sure. A Maori Tattooist? Yes. No butler. Butlers are an anachronism from an antiquated class system. Batman still reflects the culture of the 1930s when he was created. Good thing Batman isn’t from like 70 years earlier than that, or it probably wouldn’t be a white guy working for him, and he probably wouldn’t have a choice. And when he said ‘Master Bruce’, he’d really mean it.

So let me see if I got the story straight here. Alfred raises Bruce from a kid after his parents were killed. And in gratitude, Bruce makes him work like thirty years past retirement age. No pension plan? So he’s just gotta keep working until he drops dead? No 401K? Bruce Wayne is one cheap bastard. No. He’s a Cheap Bat-stard.

Batman is so cheap he won’t even rent a nice place for his Batman stuff, he just lurks in an underground cave full of batshit and stagnant water. I don’t know which he’s gonna catch first, the Riddler, or dysentery. Is he gonna collar a criminal, or just get cholera. A damp cave? Really? It’s a breeding ground for mosquitos. He’ll get the zika virus before he gets the Joker. He’s basically in a subterranean pit filled with bat guano, breathing that shit in, he’ll get double-pneumonia before he gets two-face.

And they thought Howard Hughes was a crazy billionaire. At least Howard Hughes was smart enough to bang some movie stars. Batman? What’s his thought process on a Friday night? “Hmm, what to do tonight...I could date that supermodel who’s been sending me nude selfies….but on the other hand I could impale some junkie mugger with a couple of Batarangs… I gotta go with Batarangs. Hey Alfred!”

Make America and Gotham City great again.

[spiderfan22]

DAY TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-TWO - 7/25/17

“SCENES FROM THE NEW BATMAN” by DJS

And this is coming from a guy who actually LIKES Batman!!!

                       Scene one: an alley

 In which Batman beats the shit of a middle-aged white politician.  Robin enters. He is shocked at Batman’s brutality. And all that blood.

 BATMAN

           (yelling in politician’s face)

TELL ME!!!!!

                         POLITICIAN

           (whimpering)

But I don’t… I don’t know what you’re talking about, Batman!  I don’t know about any bribes!  I’m clean -- I swear I’m clean!

                         BATMAN

UN. LIKELY!!!!!!

 Batman is about to punch the politician in the face again, when Robin steps in:

 ROBIN

Batman -- Jesus Christ!! Stop!!  You can’t just, I mean it’s clear he doesn’t know what you’re talking about or he’d have told you already -- confessed.  But look at him.  You’ve knocked like a bunch of his teeth out and his eyes are swollen shut. He can’t even see anymore, Batman!

                         BATMAN

You’re the one who’s blind, Robin. This piece of shit knows the truth! And I’m getting it out of him.

                         ROBIN

But you beat him up anymore, Batman, and you might kill him!  I mean he’s gotta have suffered brain damage already.  Look he’s practically unconscious!  His tongue’s hanging out and, and… oh God.   I mean the blood alone!

                         BATMAN

Fine!

           (He releases the politician)

We’ll let Gordon and his men take the next crack at him.  But I’d bet my life -- and yours, “Boy Wonder” -- that we’ve only scratched the surface with this sonuvabitch.  

                         ROBIN

Okay.  Fine.  Just -- please?  Can we go now?

                         BATMAN

Yeah, bring the Batmobile around.

                         ROBIN

I’m 14.  I can’t drive yet.  

                         BATMAN

Oh.

 Batman considers that.  Then he slowly walks away.  Robin stands there shaking his head for a moment.  Looks down at the bloody and beaten politician.  Then he follows.

   Scene two: the Batcave

 In which Batman cyber-stalks his ex-girlfriends. Alfred arrives with a bowl of hot soup on a tray.

 ALFRED

           (seeing the computer screen)

Aw, Master Bruce.  Is that wise now, taking a trip down memory lane? Best to let sleeping dogs lie.

                         BATMAN

But this is Silver St. Cloud, Alfred.

                         ALFRED

Yes sir, I remember Miss St Cloud quite vividly.  Beautiful, charming, the life of the party.  But then she could never reconcile the man with the bat, so you quite humanely called things off, letting the young woman go on with her life.

                         BATMAN

She’s dating some politician now.

                         ALFRED

Yes, I have read the same in the society pages.

                         BATMAN

He doesn’t deserve her.  

                         ALFRED

           (he hesitates)

Perhaps -- and if I am out of line, sir, I apologize in advance -- but just perhaps, Master Bruce, that is your own jealousy speaking.

                         BATMAN

It’s not.

                         ALFRED

           (slowly)

Alright, sir.

           (pause)

Well, I’ve brought you some hot soup. Beef consommé.

                         BATMAN

I’m not hungry.

                         ALFRED

But you haven’t eaten a solid meal in over a week, sir.

                         BATMAN

And what’s beef consommé now, a “solid meal?”

                         ALFRED No sir, but it does possess the necessary vitamins--

                         BATMAN

I said I’m not hungry, Alfred.  

                         ALFRED

Yes, Master Bruce.

                         BATMAN

You should learn to listen the first time.

                         ALFRED

Of course.  I’m sorry.  Sir.

                         BATMAN

Good.  You’re excused.

 Alfred leaves with the bowl of soup.  Batman obsesses on the screen in front of him, fixating on a closeup of a smiling Silver St. Cloud in the arms of the politician from the previous scene.  He zooms in until it’s just a closeup of her cleavage.

   Scene three: the rooftop of the Gotham Police Department

 In which Batman argues with Commissioner Gordon. The Batsignal is present but not lit.

 GORDON

I can’t do it, Batman.

                         BATMAN

           (grunts)

WHY. NOT.

                         GORDON

Because it breaks about a dozen laws -- not to mention it’s completely unconstitutional.

                         BATMAN

Question: would you be throwing the Constitution in my face if this was the Joker we were talking about?

                         GORDON

Look, Batman: we’ve done some digging and as far as we’ve been able to tell so far, there’s just no immediate threat. On the contrary, in the eye of the law, the Senator is a hundred percent clean.

                         BATMAN

Impossible.

                         GORDON

NO.  The guy’s a pillar of his community.  Gives back, gives to charity.  Never even the whiff of a scandal around him.  His wife passed away a couple years back -- cervical cancer.  The incredible thing was it was an election year; he was up for reelection at the time.  But he effectively suspended his campaign so he could be at her bedside the last few months. And get this: when the story gets out that that’s what he’s been doing, his constituents come out anyway and vote the guy back into office.  For Christ sake it was a landslide, with him getting over 90 percent of the vote. Which I don’t care who you are, is unheard of.  So he’s basically a revered kind of figure.  The local boy made good.

                         BATMAN

I don’t believe it.  You need to bring him in for further questioning. Only this time I’ll be in the room too, for a little… extra intimidation.

                         GORDON

Definitely not, Batman.  

           (hesitant)

And speaking of which, while we’re on the subject:  the Senator seems to have recently suffered a number of bumps and bruises, scrapes… Hell, I don’t know why I’m mincing words here.  He’s got cracked ribs, his left arm’s busted in two places and his face looks like someone took a baseball bat to Goddamn pomegranate.

                         BATMAN

I told you, he’s connected to the mob. Which means the senator’s injuries could only be attributed to Carmine Falcone, probably some form of retaliation or warning.  I suggest the GCPD bring him in for questioning as well.  We can play them off each other.  Give new meaning to the term “hot box”.

                         GORDON

Yeah, well.  I got CCTV footage of an alley up in The Narrows that shows you quite clearly beating the Senator half to death.  That’s until Robin has the good sense to pull you away.

                         Small beat.

                         BATMAN

Enough!  There are too many people interfering in my investigation now, it’s becoming clouded.  Obviously I have to go this one alone.

                         GORDON

Yeah, uh, Batman…?  I can’t let you do that.

                         BATMAN

What?!

                         GORDON

Bruce Wayne--

                         BATMAN

How did you--?

                         GORDON

Mr. Wayne I’m placing you under arrest for the assault of Senator Martin Graham.

                         BATMAN

Preposterous!  Jim, how far back do we--

 Through a door on the roof, a bunch of police officers in Kevlar and helmets emerge and surround Batman.  Guns drawn.

 GORDON

You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law--

                         BATMAN

JIM!  THIS IS INSANE.  

                         GORDON

--if you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed to you--

                         BATMAN

Are you--?  Of course I can afford an attorney!  I’M BATMAN!!

 Batman struggles but the officers overpower him. He is forced to his knees and his hands are cuffed behind his back.  

   Scene four: Prison cell

 In which Batman has been denied bail due to being an extreme flight risk.  He shares a cell with a serial rapist.  A hulking brute of a guy covered head to toe in tattoos.  Batman is dressed in a prison orange jumpsuit, but still wears his cowl.

 RAPIST

So this is what essentially is going to happen.  This is how it’s gonna go down.    I’m horny. I mean I get horny.  And since because there ain’t no available chicks around to pound their fucking pussies, I’m forced to go with the most immediate and available wet hole.  That means your ass, Butt Man.  And I ain’t gonna be gentle neither.  What, you think we got anything nice as lube up in this bitch?  Man, you in Rikers Island!  So I’m not gonna lie, it’s going to hurt.  Bad.  So bad you probly gonna bleed.  But am I gonna give a shit?  Izzat going to make me stop?  Shit – am I gonna even pause in my stroke to check on your delicate, sensitive little lady feelings?  Fuck no. I’ma just keep ramming it home, ramming it home, till Daddy gets his nut.  Now how’s that sound, Mister Caped Crusader?

                         BATMAN

Please… don’t hurt me.  I’ll… I’ll pay you.  Whatever.  Anything. A million dollars… two million.   All you have to do is take care of me, don’t let anyone else harm me or… just while I’m in here, just until I get out.  I’ll wire the money to your account.  As much as you want.  Only please--

                         RAPIST

My account, huh?  And what account would that be?  My one in Switzerland or down in the Caymans?  You are seriously divorced from reality, you know that Batman?

                         BATMAN

I’m beginning to see that, yes.

                         RAPIST

I tell you what, let’s make us a deal. Because I gotta get my rocks off, there’s no getting around that.  But I’ll spare you ass – and protect your ass too round here – long as you keep me satisfied in the general sense.

                         BATMAN

What do you [mean] --?

                         RAPIST

Suck-jobs and handies.  That’s it.  That’s all.

 Beat.  Batman looks around the tiny cell, nowhere else to turn.

 BATMAN

What other choice do I have?

                         RAPIST

None.  And that attitude of accepting your fate and just going with the flow will serve you well behind bars.  Believe me.

 They sit there a moment, in silence, the Rapist waiting.

 RAPIST

Uh, well??

                         BATMAN

Well what?

                         RAPIST

What do you think, Dork Knight? Get to fucking sucking or the deal’s off.  

                         BATMAN

Oh.  Right now?  It has to be right now?

                         RAPIST

Right now and every evening round this time.  I like to keep my schedule regular.

                         BATMAN

Oh… okay.

(The rapist pulls down his pants.)

Uh, how should I--?

                         RAPIST

Start with the head.  But word of advice: I wouldn’t try and shove too much in your mouth to begin with, though I understand the impulse, you want to come on all professional, do a pleasing job, but for the moment just focus on the head and let your hand do the rest of the heavy lifting.  Then you can work up to deepthroating me.  

                         BATMAN

Oh my God.  I think I’m going to be sick.

                         RAPIST

Understandable.  But wait to after.  ‘Cause so help me, you get any puke on me, we gonna have a real problem.

 The rapist lies back on his bunk.  Batman stares, open mouthed, until the rapist gently pulls Batman’s head down towards his crotch.

  Scene five: Wayne Manor, several years later

 In which Batman has retired after spending a couple years locked up.  He is severely overweight now, with chronic diabetes.  He is blind and his right leg has been amputated below the knee.  In a wheelchair.  He drinks and takes pills to excess.  

 Selina Kyle has come to pay him a visit.  She is older but still quite attractive.

 BATMAN

           (sniffing the air)

Selina.

                         SELINA

Hello Bruce.

                         BATMAN

The Catwoman.

                         SELINA

It’s been a long time since anyone called me that.

                         BATMAN

Well, it suited you.  You’ve always been curious.

                         SELINA

Not to mention flexible.

                         BATMAN

Heh.

                         Pause.

                         SELINA

I must say, you don’t look too good Bruce.

                         BATMAN

I’d imagine not.  

                         SELINA

When was the, the--?

                         BATMAN

When did they amputate my leg? God it must have been… what, four years ago?

                         SELINA

I meant to come see you in the hospital.

                         BATMAN

I won’t hold it against you.

                         SELINA

Suppose you’re wondering what I’m doing here now.

                         BATMAN

Well, a healthy curiosity is something I like to think we shared.

 Selina sighs.  Pulls a gun from her purse.  Points it at Batman in his wheelchair.  Cocks it just to be sure he’s gotten the message.  Beat.

  BATMAN

I see.

                         SELINA

And I’m sorry, Bruce, but this is the only way he said I could ever be free.

                         BATMAN

Who said?  No, wait, let me guess.  Joker.

                         SELINA

‘Fraid so, Bruce.  It’s the end of the line.

                         BATMAN

It hasn’t occurred to you that I still might have a trick or two up my sleeve?

                         SELINA

It has.

                         BATMAN

And that doesn’t give you pause?

                         SELINA

I don’t know.  Maybe?  

                         BATMAN

Selina please now, we can discuss this. With our history.  There was love there once, if not a mutual respect. And--

 But Selina is already crossing the room, moving behind Batman.  She puts the gun to the back of his head.  He feels the muzzle against his scalp and freaks:

 BATMAN

Wait!  No!  Selina!! SELINA DON’T NN--

 She pulls the trigger.  The gun goes off with a loud bang.  Blood and brains and bone explode out of the front of Batman’s head and he slumps forward, falling out of his wheelchair.  Smoke wafts in the air.  Selina places the gun in the dead Batman’s hand, making it look like a suicide. It’s only now we notice she’s been wearing gloves this whole time.  She looks down at the body for another moment.  Then she goes.  

We hear her high-heeled footsteps receding through the front hall.  Then the door creaking way off and slamming shut, quietly.

 The Dark Knight Has Fallen.

 End of play.