#but honestly i think it wouldn't even be a re write as much as a whole new story where only the basic foundations remain

[sapphic-woes]

For the 99th time in thinking abt rewriting old ocs....

[3hks]

How to Write an IMPACTFUL Backstory

Honestly, writing and reading about backstories is probably one of my favorite parts of a character's story! It's a strong foundation for a character's goals, motives, thoughts, and actions! Its most powerful effect, on the other hand, is its ability to change one's view on a character. So, then, how do we write such an impactful past?

For beginners, the more tragic the backstory, the better. While this does hold some truth, let me re-iterate that it's for beginners. The idea behind it is that a pure, devastatingly pitiful backstory is unique and pulls at your reader's heartstrings. Unfortunately, instead, we're left with an origin story that feels superficial, overly-dramatic, unnecessary, and shallow. However in this post, I will give you some tips on how to avoid creating such 2D backgrounds and actually bring your character's past to life!

First, your character's backstory can be made with whatever components you choose, but the key is that you must balance them out correctly. Additionally, the majority of the time, you do want their story to stick out, so I suggest trying to come up with something original! It's much harder than it sounds, but honestly, every other protagonist has dead parents at this point. Be creative, add details, and don't be afraid to let your character go through things if you feel that it's fitting!

Second, don't extend their past for too long. The point of introducing the backstory is to elaborate on a (few) certain event(s) that affected your character the most and forever changed their lives. Keep it centered around one, or at most, a couple events.

Next, most writers tend to use sadness and/or to fuel the character, but it should not be overbearing and excessive. Alternatively, it should feel GENUINE. Not dramatic, but genuine. Different genres do form different types of backstories, yes, but the core concept behind it should be something natural. It should be something that your readers will be able to understand; something authentic. They should feel some sense of relatability, even if it's just a little. This could be like family issues, broken friendships, betrayals, leaving someone, mental struggles, loneliness, etc. Complexity can surround these concepts, but the basic, fundamental ideas should still be present.

Furthermore, be sure that their backstory makes sense. Even if you're introducing it through quick, brief flashbacks, ultimately, you want the reader to have all the pieces to solve the puzzle.

Last but not least, make your backstory feel personal to your character! Build it in a sense that if it were to go to any other character, it wouldn't have an effect that's as severe. Make it targeted to its owner. While this is something that can be difficult to execute, it really provides insight to your character, and is an easy way to add some intricacy to a simple backstory! A good place to start is thinking about the things personal to your character. For instance, this could be their past before the event, people they care about, their morals, etc. Then, add it in said event so that it pushes and/or challenges your character in a way that makes them re-evaluate that value.

There you go! Here are my personal tips on how to upgrade your character's backstory and have it really impact your reader! Be creative, keep it centered around a couple things, make it genuine, and make it targeted to the character!

Happy writing~

3hks <3

[parvulous-writings]

It may come to absolutely no surprise to you but.......I have a preference to Halsin in BG3.

If you have any desire to write some fluff......If I could gift this man some honey comb in a jar with a handkerchief wrapped around the top, and there is a duck stitched on the corner of the cloth. I would. Cuz I really wanna. 💕

Words: 2.06K

Notes: Honestly, I do not blame you! Who couldn't love this big bear of a man? He's amazing! Takes place after the main game plot <3 My requests are currently open, though limited! My pinned post (found here) contains both a list of characters I write for, and a masterlist!  Original character list - please request for these too!

Halsin Silverbough - Archdruid and friend to many - was an absolute sweetheart, through and through. It was no secret that this strong hulk of a man was not only reasonable when it came to conflict, but actively sought the betterment of those around him. He sought it so actively, in fact, that he rarely ever left time for himself. He was always so ingrained or focused on what he thought needed to be done to right what wrong he could, that he gave little thought to when he may need to just take a step back, and relax. So, you took it upon yourself to give him the opportunity to.

Of course, being the lover of the Archdruid comes with some perks; one of those being that you knew everyone within the Grove. One of the younger druids, a young halfling named Barnan, had taken up beekeeping once the druids had re-settled, and that gave you the perfect idea for Halsin's little treat. "Good morning, Barnan!" You greet the shorter figure as you approach, glass jar in hand. Barnan jumps, startled by your somewhat sudden appearance. "I was wondering if you could lend me a hand.." You chuckle lightly, as Barnan recovers. "Oh, but of course-" He says quickly, patting down the apron that he so often wore over his normal plain clothes. "What is it that you need?" He asks you, a smile starting to spread over his face.

"I was hoping to get Halsin a little something... He's been practically run off of his feet again recently, and I think he deserves a treat..." You explain, not getting too into all the details, but giving the Halfling enough to know that it was important to you. He nods enthusiastically, turning to the shelves he had pitched up outside his little shack; "Let me see if I have anything that might take his fancy..." He muses, tapping gently at his chin. "Actually, I had something in mind already..." You gently tell him, and as he turns, you hold up the glass jar you had brought with you. "Halsin likes honey - I was wondering if one of your hives could spare some honeycomb for him?" Barnan blinks, then begins to nod, reaching for the jar. "Oh, but of course, of course! Let me take that for you..." He then pauses, looking at the jar for a moment, almost... Concerned. "Are you quite sure this will be enough..?" He turns his gaze back to you for a moment. You seem almost shocked - that was one of the larger jars you had found. Though, looking at it now... You supposed Barnan had a point - Halsin naturally had a large appetite. "Do you have a larger jar?" You ask after a moment's pause, and Barnan grins. "I wouldn't be a very good beekeeper if I didn't, now, would I?" He replied, making you laugh. "I'll grab one for you," He tells you as he hands you your jar back. "Wait here, I shan't be long.." You nod and move to take a seat on a stool Barnan often sits on in the morning - he loves his spot here, with a perfect view of the morning sun.

The breeze is lovely; warm and inviting, and carrying the many scents of the various wildflowers that are nearby, that grow all over the grove in fact. Branan really knew how to pick a good spot for himself to stay - and an even better for his beehives. There wasn't much that you considered 'perfect', but this place? A place so gorgeous, and the home of those you held so dear? This was perfect, without a doubt. Lost in your thoughts, you're unsure of how much time actually passes whilst Barnan retrieves some honeycomb for you. When he returns, he's carrying in incredibly large jar in his arms. "You're in luck," He pants to you, as he places the filled jar on the grass by your legs, "There was a fair deal of surplus comb in all the hives - I really should be keeping on top of them more, this far into summer... Ah well, I just suppose the days have been getting away from me!" He laughs. You chuckle along with him. "Thank you, Barnan... I really appreciate this..." You get to your feet, leaning down to pick up the jar with both hands. "Oh it's no trouble, no trouble at all... Give Master Halsin my regards!" "Of course - I wouldn't dream of neglecting to mention your help," You muse. "Have a good day, friend." You smile at him, and Barnan gives a nod, still smiling warmly. "And to you, my friend."

And with that, you start the short walk back to yours and Halsin's shared quarters, deeper in the Grove. It's always a pleasant walk - whether it's in the middle of the day, or the dead of night. During the day, you're greeted with polite 'hellos' and 'how are you's', and at night, you get to bask in the blissful sounds of nature as the world sleeps. By the time you manage to get back to your shared space, Halsin is already awake, half dressed, and lumbering out into the near midday sun. He stretches, basking in the warmth the light blesses him with, as you quickly try to hide the jar behind your back, not quite ready to give him the gift. "Good morning, my heart.." He greets you, smiling lovingly down at you. "I see you did not wake me..." He muses as he moves a bit closer. "May I ask why?" "I just thought that you deserved a bit of a rest... You haven't given much time for yourself recently, and I think you should." You reply, nodding as you spoke. Halsin starts to nod with you, humming quietly in agreement. He could find no fault in your answer. He starts to chuckle lightly; "Sometimes I feel like you know me better than even I know myself," He tells you, opening his arms and stepping forward for a hug. You quickly duck under his arm, spinning round before he can see the honey pot you're concealing with your torso. Halsin's head turns, trying to catch up with where you've flitted to, his expression portraying his almost comical bafflement. "My love..?" He starts, trailing off mid-sentence. "No you haven't done anything." You quickly clear up for him, giving him a smile of reassurance. "Then why do you dodge my embrace, hm?" "I have a surprise for you," You divulge, your tone almost cheeky. "And it'd be an awful shame to ruin it." Halsin can't help but laugh a little bit at this - he thinks himself almost foolish for so quickly jumping to the idea that you would recoil from his embrace, and your audacious tone did also amuse him so. "Alright, I shall... Let it go, this time." He teases. "I hope that the surprise will be ready before this evening, so I may embrace you at least once today..." "It will, it will... So long as you actually let me go continue preparing it.." You tease, and Halsin bows his head a bit in laughter. "As you wish, my love..." He murmurs. "I shall leave you to whatever antics you've managed to entrench yourself in today... Just don't get into trouble." He warns, only half joking. You roll your eyes playfully at him, before ducking inside, and out of his sight.

You're quick to rummage through what belongings you have to find the sewing kit you keep, mainly for clothing repairs, picking out a larger needle than normal, alongside some yellow thread. You set to work carefully, threading the needle carefully through the corner of the cloth that covers the honey jar, keeping it safe from bugs and other wandering hands. The little image comes together rather quickly and with a splash of other colours - a dash of black, and orange - you've finished your little project, and before you sits a embroidered duck chick. You admire it for a moment, proud of it. You know for a fact, that Halsin will love this - even if you weren't as proud of it as you were now, he'd still love it. You push yourself to your feet after a moment or so of making sure that you're satisfied, making your way out into the sun again. You shield your eyes with one hand, cradling the jar in your arm much like a baby. It doesn't take you long to find Halsin, knife and woodblock in hand, carefully chipping away at the carving he's started. You stroll towards him, smile growing on your face as you wait for him to notice you. "Ah, my heart..." Halsin starts, his gaze still focused on the block of wood as he carves. "I thought today may be a good opportunity to finally set about making us some new utensils.." He tells you, before finally glancing up. His jaw goes a bit slack, before he starts to laugh. "This was your surprise?" He asks you, as you present the honeycomb to him. "It is indeed... Do you like it?" "Like it? My love, I'm not quite sure how to express my thanks... You really did mean it when you thought I deserved time for myself, hm?" "Oh, I wouldn't say something I don't mean... I know better than that.." You muse quietly. "Barnan also sends his regards..." You grunt softly as you move to sit beside him. He leans over to you and presses a kiss to your cheek, and you can feel the smile still on his lips. "I shall thank him when I see him next..." He tells you as he moves to take the cloth-lid off of the jar, pausing to chuckle at the embroidered duck. "And I presume this is your handiwork?" He asks you, turning the corner of the cloth slightly towards you to show you. You nod at him. "Such a small detail..." The elf muses, smiling as he ran his thumb over the stitches. "Thank you, my love. Truly." He takes off the cloth, placing it on his lap for later, and before you can say anything else to him, his hand is in the jar, grasping for some of the sweet comb inside. You can't help but laugh at the sight - but you knew there was nothing you'd be able to do to stop him. He ignores you, choosing to focus instead on crunching down on the sweet treat you'd procured for him. He practically groans as the taste hits his tongue, and your grin stretches ever wider. "Enjoying yourself, my love?" You ask him, and he nods hurriedly as he takes another mouthful of honeycomb; you start to wonder if it's even touching the sides at this point. "Slow down, you don't want to eat it all in one sitting, do you?" You tease, and at this, he does slow down a little bit. He pauses for a moment, honey dripping off of his hand and into the jar as he finishes his mouthful. He then brings his hand towards your mouth. "Open," He prompts gently, and you comply, soon tasting the same sweet honey you had gifted to your partner.

As he pulls his hand away to eat the rest of the honey stuck to it himself, you give another quiet chuckle. "I didn't think you'd want to share this treat - I wasn't expecting you to." You tell him, and he picks up another chunk of comb, handing it to you. "I know you didn't expect me to. But with you, my love, I would share all of nature's bounty... It is not for one person to hoard it to themselves, it is to be shared and revelled in.." He says, rather sagely, as you bite into the crunchy snack he had bestowed upon you. "I didn't know you felt so strongly about honeycomb." You teased him, smirking as you did. "Of course I do. And don't talk with your mouth full." He playfully chides, gently bumping his shoulder into yours. You both lapse into a comfortable silence after that, sharing the honey and gazing out on the landscape that you call home. It's a peaceful moment, and one that both you and Halsin will certainly treasure for a very, very long time.

[tonberry-yoda]

hii, loved ur zuko x reader post, it made the zuko simp out of me rise ✨️

I was wondering if u could write a zuko x fire bender! reader where they re together in the gaang and talk with the rest about how they would train together on the ship back when zuko was obsessed w catching aang and reader making fun of him along with sokka and toph,

thank you <3

OMG HI!! i am so glad you were here for that zuko writing and here for a request!! seriously, rewatching Avatar made my inner simp come out bruh (also, i love your pfp so much monster high was my CHILDHOOD lmfaoo). thank you so much for the request! this was super fun to write and i am so happy i got to write it for you <3 have a wonderful rest of your day and please stay hydrated <333

The Past - Zuko

Pairing - Zuko x reader

Warnings - none!

Word Count - 663

“Remember when you were bald?” You said through a cough, giving Zuko a sideways glance with a little smirk on your face.

“Oh come on!” Zuko exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air. “What the heck did I ever do to you, y/n? Stop making fun of my bald self.” He crossed his arms and pouted and you just giggled to yourself as Toph and Sokka were holding back laughter.

“You have to admit it’s a little funny, Zuko.”

“It’s not!”

You walked over to Zuko and put your arm around him. “Okay, okay, it’s not that funny.”

“Thank you!” Zuko turned away from you still pouting and the campfire you were around with the others went silent.

Until you spoke up, of course.

“Remember when all you wanted to do was capture the Avatar.” Everyone started laughing and Zuko’s face went as red as a tomato. It definitely didn't help that Aang, you know, the literal Avatar, was sitting right there.

Sure, Zuko was happy that the gaang took him in, but it was definitely a little embarrassing that he had once made it his whole life and every waking moment to capture him.

“I have to capture the Avatar and restore my honor.” You said in a mocking dramatic voice.

Sokka and Toph were completely out of breath laughing while Aang and Katara were trying not to laugh in respect of Zuko.

“Okay, y/n.” Zuko turned to you, his face flushing a dark crimson. “I'm serious. Stop.”

“Zuko,” you walked over to him and tucked his long hair behind his ear. “You know I'm just playing. Sure, capturing the Avatar was definitely number one on your list, but you were still just a kid.” You rubbed his arm and Zuko smiled at you.

Zuko didn't know if he could live without you or his uncle. You were both there for him through thick and thin since he was banished from the fire nation. Heck, you even decided to go back to the fire nation with him after that awful crisis in Ba Sing Se. No matter what, you were always there for him.

“Remember when we would train on the boat?” You smiled.

Everyone turned to the both of you, intrigued.

You just smiled and hugged Zuko’s arm. “You’ve always had the potential to be a great fire bender. Who cares if your sister was some prodigy since she was born? You've always put in the work, making you that much better.”

“Stop,” Zuko said with a bright red face, hugging you to him. “If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't be as good as I am.”

“Oh, come on, Zuko! I'm not that good.”

“YES YOU ARE!” You laughed at Zuko’s sudden outburst.

“Yeah, y/n!” Aang butt in, beaming at you. “You’re not only one of the best fire benders I’ve ever met, but also the nicest. No offense Zuko.”

“None taken.”

“You guys are a riot.” You said with a joking eye roll, standing up to stretch your legs.

Zuko stood up with you and wrapped his arm around you, looking at the full moon.

“You know,” Aang said, standing up and walking over to the two of you. “If it wasn't for the both of you hating my guts for that period of time, I honestly don't think that I would have any firebending teacher.”

You and Zuko smiled at Aang, pulling him in for a little group hug. Aang smiled and ran back to the rest of the group and you turned to Zuko and pulled him into his own hug, kissing the crook of his neck. “I'm so proud of you.” You whispered and looked at his bright yellow eyes with small tears of your own.

“I'm proud of you too.” He leaned down to you and gave you a small, but loving kiss on the lips before the two of you cuddled in each other’s arms, watching the clouds cover the moon.

~~~~~

atla masterlist --- pinned post

@tonberry-yoda

[allmcl]

hi!! do you also write for armin (separately)? ive been craving some armin content for a while and i found your account, your writing is so amazing, and i was wondering if you'd write something where candy and armin arent back together yet in UL and, after a night in the snake room with alexy, rosa, priya and the others, armin decides to fight for her love not knowing he doesn't need to fight for it since she's head over heels for him

STILL HERE │ Armin Keenan.

When a reunion with an old love reminds Armin of everything they experienced together, he decides that after so much time, it's now or never that he should get you back.

pairing('s). armin keenan x f!reader

genre. fluff, angsty.

content wanings. mentions of breakup, alcohol consuming, cursing, kissing, suggestive themes.

author's note. MISSED THIS BOY SO MUCH DURING UL, hope you like this!! (tysm for requesting, sorry it took so long!) AND BTW, i found like a lot of lastnames and i decided for this one (not sure if is the canon one ://)

I was sure that my return to the city would be harder. After all, I couldn't blame anyone for being angry with me. If one of my friends just left, without even saying goodbye, I wouldn't be happy either. But, luckily for me, they had a much better reaction than I expected.

At the moment, I only saw Rosa and Melody. Although perhaps I didn't know how to show it at the time, having seen them after so long squeezed my heart so much that I still feel my emotions on the surface.

To tell the truth, I'm scared. Although I used to seeing eachother very often in high school, whether to go out for a drink or just to walk around the city, this is not high school anymore. And it's now, when I'm getting ready to go out, that I feel like I'm getting ready in my old room to go shopping with the them. The phone vibrates, and brings me out of my melancholic thoughts.

I look at him out of the corner of my eye, the screen glows with a notification from Alex.

Alex…

I refrain from further worries and simply read it from the preview.

"[Y/NNN]??? we are waiting for youuuu"

"Years waiting to see you, and you still late🙄​"

I smiled wistfully. I know he says it jokingly, but the guilt is real. But that's not important now, because it's once and for all my time to fix that, and to get back on track with my life here. I type a quick, “on my way,” before pocketing my phone and heading out the door to my campus room. Although the phone rings again, I don't bother checking it and I hurry to arrive on time.

I look at the time on the screen: "11:48." I curse under my breath. I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I'm lost, and that even though I've been wandering around on the same street for more than twenty minutes, I still can´t find the bar. On the other hand, who would think of inviting someone to a place and not sending the address?

When I start to stress again, I recognize a voice in the distance that I would recognize anywhere. It's Alex. I follow the sound, although I don't pay attention to what it says, none of it matters when I see it. His eyes light up and he falls silent immediately. As I expected, he almost hugged me to the ground. Rosa also briefly joined our hug, smiling as she watched us interact.

"Finally!" He screeches in my ear, and although it dazes me a little I laugh out loud. "I missed you like crazy…" He whispered to me, and I had to separate myself for a moment to not burst out crying in my place.

"I missed you, Alex.." I sighed, but he seemed to notice my mood, changing the subject slighlty.

"You´re back, all that matters." He jokes, and I smile. "I hope you're ready for the surprise then."

I raise an eyebrow. "Surprise?"

"Yes, I told you by text." He emphasized obviously, gesturing towards his phone.

Of course, the text I didn't read. I nod briefly, so he thinks I know what he's talking about. Their surprises honestly scare me. They can go from something exciting to something illegal, you never know what to expect from these two. I'm nervous yes, I assume the "surprise" is inside.

"It's not bad at all." Rosa calms me down, she seems to read my mind sometimes. "I promise you'll be happy"

Well, now I'm scared.

Alexy wastes no time in cutting off the conversation, and Rosa simply presses her hand on my back lovingly, urging me to enter the disco-bar, "Snake Room." This was definitely not there when I lived here. Well, most of the things I see now didn't used to be there. Upon entering I immediately notice the loud music, the smoke and the smell of alcohol, the lights blur my vision a little, and it is difficult for me to discern where Alex is.

Rosa guides me a little to the table near the bar, which seems to be one of the quietest places in the place. But that's when the colored lights hanging near the stage allow me to catch a glimpse of him.

"I thought it would be nice for you to see each other again." Alex says, trying to calm the tension in the air.

My breath stops for a few moments. I don't know how to feel, but my body responds on its own. I'm shaking a little, and at this point I don't know if it's the flashing lights or their presence that's making me dizzy. I can barely move to get close to greet him. He changed a lot. Of course his essence is still there, I can tell, but it's definitely different.

"Welcome back." His voice is also different, deeper I could say. It throws me off a little. Well, all of him does. I curse myself internally. I was convinced I was ready for this, but I see I'm not.

I smile at him reflexively, and sit down across from him. The silence feels quite loud now that I feel his gaze on me, even though I avoid making eye contact. Rosa clears her throat, and gestures indiscreetly at Alex. I would laugh, if it weren't for the fact that this whole situation has me totally overwhelmed. I look at him for a few seconds, but he was already looking at me. God, I don't know if I can handle this.

"I imagined you´d be happier…" He smiled with amusement, and I couldn't help but feel my heart skip a beat at his expression. He looks boyish, in a strange way. It's as if for a moment, his expression took me back to high school Armin.

"I'm surprised, that's all." I laugh nervously.

"Well, he came all the way here just to see you." Alexy clarifies, but Rosa waves him off with a glare.

I look at him with my eyes slightly open. "You´re not living here?" The question escapes me before I can think about it.

"Not quite." He clarifies, and takes a sip of beer. It's now that my throat feels a little dry, but I don't feel like drinking alcohol. I could end up doing things i´ll regret. "Although now that you're back, I'd think about it." He winks at me.

I looked to the side, and felt my cheeks burn a little. It looked like it was going to be a long night.

"I thought you were tougher." Rosa reproaches, tripping a little, but Alexy holds her steady. "Now you go to bed early and don't drink. You've become an old man." He grimaces, and a laugh escapes us.

"It's not that!" Alex complains. "I just wanted to greet [y/n] sober." He looks at me smiling, and I smile back. "I'll take care of the old drunk" Rosa exclaims a "hey!" and hits him lightly on the shoulder, but he doesn't flinch.

"Are you back on campus?" Armin asks me, and then I remember that he is, in fact, still here. He looks at me, waiting for my response but I freeze instantly. Every time he speaks I experience the same embarrassment.

"Well, I'll leave you, lovebirds." The idiot does it on purpose. But for the first time, I notice that I'm not the only one embarrassed, Armin's cheeks turn pink, and he sends a reproachful look to his twin, who smiles innocently. Some things never change, I see. "Take care of her." It sounds more like a threat than a request, to which the black-haired man rolls his eyes and nods.

I watch Alexy walk away in the opposite direction.

Silence falls between us, and it is until we see the two disappear after turning down the street that I understand that I am alone with him. I smile awkwardly at him before taking a couple steps back.

"I'll walk you back." I open my eyes a little, and look at him with surprise. He seems sure of his words, and looks at me expectantly with that smile of his that I still have to get used to. "I don't like the idea of ​​you walking alone,"

"As much of a gentleman as I remembered." I reply, a flirtatious smile escaping me and Armin simply smiles wider. "It's close, anyway"

"I insist." His expression is confident, and well, I don't mind his company either.

With a slight nod of my head, Armin understands that I agree, so we start walking towards the campus. The silence this time is not awkward, and although we don't talk about anything, it really feels like there are an infinite number of topics to touch on. Not very pleasant topics. After all, we can't ignore that we were together, and that the break-up wasn´t the most pacific thing either.

"I was also glad to see you again." I whisper, and even though my voice sounds quiet, he hears me. He always does.

"I figured you'd be mad." He confesses, and although I don't see his face I know he's looking at me.

Deep down, yes I am. But I'm not sure if that was enough of a reason to ruin the evening and Alex's surprise. It would have been nice to have mentally prepared myself so that I wouldn't have reacted like a schoolgirl to seeing him.

"Well, it's been a long time…" I clear my throat a little. "I have my reasons to be tho."

"Yeah, but I bet you forgot all of it with how good I look." He mocks, smiling widely.

I click my tongue. "You can't use your face to change the past."

"You're right, but I can use it to change things now." A lopsided smile appears on his features, and his comment takes me by surprise.

I tense up suddenly and simply look away. I hate that probably if he tried… "You're too cocky." I complain.

Deep down, I wonder if that would bother me. It's stupid. Armin didn't care that we broke up, I really wonder what his intentions are now. But, I can't deny that the memory is still alive in me. Everything about him remains in me as if he had never left, and it bothers me that I couldn't change that in this embarrassing amount of time we were apart.

"I just feel like I'm not the only one." Armin grumbles, shoving his hands into the pockets of his baggy pants. Now I also notice that his style is different. It doesn't seem like his brother intervenes as much in his clothes as before, that is, he maintains a bit of his own style more than anything. More calm and informal.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I grimace, crossing my arms before looking back at him.

"I say that because I notice the way you look at me." His words make me even more angry. Sometimes I feel like there is no one who can read me like he does. It was always like this, since we were young. One expression on my face was enough for Armin to decipher what was happening to me.

"I―no.." I stuttered and he noticed it, however, he didn't continue probing and I remained silent.

The walk to campus was getting shorter, and I wasn't sure I knew how to say goodbye. Everything was so strange. It's not that I want to see him, but knowing that he was going to leave made me feel like I couldn't just leave him like that. My heart is beating fast, I feel like even he can hear it.

And although it seems like things can't get any worse, several drops falling on my hair bring me out of my frantic thoughts. The chance of rain was quite low today, but of course it has to rain anyway.

"This weather is a bit nice." Armin points out, extending his palm to feel the raindrops on it, which slowly intensify.

"Nice? I'm soaking my clothes." I grumble, trying to cover myself a little.

"On one of these days we kissed for the first time" Armin smiles to himself, and simply lowers his gaze to look me in the eyes.

Shit. I didn't expect to have to think about this again. Less now that he´s here. Of course I remember it. I invited him to eat at the restaurant where we made that ridiculous double date that I actually still remember as one of my most precious moments.

On the way back home, rain started pouring and us, like idiots, hide nder a tree until it calmed down a bit. I wouldn´t forget something as special as that.

"You have no right Armin." I feel my eyes water at the memory, but I am relieved to know that because of the rain it is not very noticeable. "You can't say that now."

"It's not easy to pretend that I don't remember anything that happened." He frowns a little and stops in the middle of the street, forcing me to do the same.

"I'm not asking you to do it but…" I stop, feeling a sudden lump in my throat.

"And you can't pretend that the same thing doesn't happen to you."

And he is right. He always is when he talks about my feelings. He is correct, of course. Since I saw him, I knew that in fact, nothing of what I felt for him had managed to dissipate over the years. My heart still belongs to him.

"I lost you once, [y/n]. I can't let you go again…" His words hit me like a bucket of cold water. "When I knew you were coming back I―…"

I interrupted him. "Do you think it's easy for me?" I raised my tone of voice slightly, the fierce rain drowning out the noise a little. "Your lack of interest tired me out, Armin. You can't come back into my life like this and expect me to throw myself into your arms like it was nothing."

"I know I did things wrong, but I can still show you that I changed!" He raised his voice too. My heart was racing, and his blue eyes looking at me like I was the only thing in the world made me feel like a teenager again. "I'm not the same one who made mistakes. The only thing that remains of me is the love I have for you, [y/n], it's the only thing I couldn't change."

Tears are streaming down my face, and I don´t think it comes unnoticed by him anymore. He sheepishly tries to dry them, but the water keeps running down.

"Look at me," Armin approached me and forced me to look at him with a gentle movement of his hand. He pressed his fingers a little on my chin. "I love you." And now, in his bright eyes, in his warm hands and in his smile that I never thought I would see again, I see the truth.

Without being able to get the words out of my mouth, frustrated, angry, I let myself go and as if my hands knew their way, they wrapped themselves around his neck and pulled him closer to me. Our breaths merge and his arms end up around my waist. We are so close I memorize every feature of his face, every new thing my eyes notice.

"Are you going to kiss me or keep making me wait?" He murmured, and to silence him once and for all I kissed him.

I felt safe, at peace. Like I've been waiting for this forever. His lips fit perfectly on mine as always, his grip tightens and I need to hold on to him as I feel my legs shake a little. It's passionate, fierce. It's not like the way he kissed me before, so innocent and clumsy.

The butterflies that I thought were dead begin to flutter in my stomach again, and the only thing that separates me from jim is the lack of air. But even though we break the kiss, Armin doesn't let me go, he keeps me close to him and brings our foreheads together.

"This time I'll make you stay." He sighs, and kisses me again to seal his promise.

©allmcl !

[satlun]

Lust: John Constantine x fem!reader

Genre: smut, nsfw Trigger Warnings: mentioning about religion (a bit idk if I should add it but yeah), swear words, slurs; sl**t, wh**re, unprotected sex, missionary, oral (f!receiving)

You need money and he is lonely.

Author's note: my first time writing performing exorcism guyss (if you know what I mean ><) loll it's quite hard when I have to write in English lol so if it sounds weird please please please don't laugh </3 plus the problem is idk what word I shouldn’t write on tumblr idk if tumblr allows or not allow which word so if it’s weird or I can use another word pls tell me I'm scared that I might be banned lol so in this one shot I use ** to censor a lot (as much as possible I don't wanna be banned! *scream* 😭 it might not sound so smooth so sorry in advance readers!)

Credits: Gif (right) Gif (left)

“You got a lighter?” A sound of woman interrupted John while he was drinking cough suppressant outside a supermarket. He has a cough a lot lately, it doesn't surprised him at all actually since he smokes 30 cigarettes a day since he was 15. “Yeah” He finds the lighter in his suit before giving it to you. You light the cigarette that is now between your lips up. “Thanks” before handing it back to him. The way he dresses up just makes you curious. It is Saturday night and this guy is wearing a suit, full set. “How was your job interview?” Who knows? Maybe there's a company around here has an interview on Saturday. “What?” He turns to face you with confusion in his eyes. Your eyes glance down at his clothes. “A suit... with black boots.” He followed your gaze. “I didn't have an interview.” And this guy wears a suit on a daily basis? That's interesting. He's kinda odd or maybe cool. “Good for you. Companies around here are sucks.” He raised his eyebrows. “I have been interviewed by companies around here for like 13 companies and still not get a job.” Maybe it's your fault. That's what he thought. “It's not my fault.” You just slapped him by words.

He sighs and gives you a goodbye look. “Good luck then.” He said with emotionless face. Does he even have emotions? John walks to the car park nearby where he parked his car earlier. Well, that was a short conversation actually. You think to yourself. “You live around here?!” You shout and run after him with a cigarette on your hand. “Maybe you can recommend me some companies? I really need money!” He still keeps crossing the road without looking at you. “I'm not an office worker.” Yeah definitely because his life doesn't fit it. “Well, then how do you live without any money?” He stops and turns to you. You're like a stalker for him now. “What do you want?” He asked firmly with annoyance in on his face. “A job? Money?” You feel so helpless honestly. You're an unemployed woman at 30. How embarrassing you are. No job means no money and no money means your life is going to be harder. “I can't recommend you that. I'm not an office worker.” Nice sentence to end the conversation. “Too bad.” You said. John continues to walk again. He doesn't even care really. Who even are you? A completely stranger. “You have a girlfriend or something?” What kind of question is this? And to be asked by a stranger? John is confused that he needs to turn his face and look at you. “What?” The way he keeps walking way from you makes me think about him in two ways. First, he has a girlfriend and he is loyal with her so much that he doesn't even talk with other women. Second, he hasn't had a girlfriend and out of touch with women because he looks scared of you? Actually, who wouldn't be scared when a stranger keeps messing with you. “You got a girlfriend?” He answers without any shame. “No” He said as he opened the car door. “Hey wait. Just asking.” He looks at you with emotionless face again. “A man like you shouldn't spend time alone on Saturday night, you know.” What's it about Saturday night? “What do you mean?” There's a car past you both at the moment so you need to shout. “It's a shame!” It was supposed to be a joke. “I don't care.” He gets in the car and closes the door. “Don't you feel lonely sometimes?-” You said before he shutting the door on you but then you don't stop knocking on the window so he just has to roll it down. You start to speak again. “Let's think about it, it's a rainy Saturday night means tomorrow is still a weekend. You have no girlfriend, I have no boyfriend and I also need money. You have a car and maybe you live around here. I can take your loneliness away for a night.” He is about to roll the window up again but you use your hand to stop it. “And you know what, rain can really make us feel lonely. I did a research on it yesterday.” Yeah you actually did a research on it yesterday. He doesn't seem to answer you so you speak again. “You're out of touch with women.” You underestimate him. “I'm not.” He frowned at you. That's rude actually. Out of touch with women? Oh my. “Yes you're. You look at me like I'm a demon and keep walking away from me.” You tossed your cigarette on the wet ground and stomped on it. “Because you're a stranger and the fact that I don't know you at all.” You nod at him and smile sarcastically before leaning on his car. “Sure. I’m [y/n]. 30 years old. Married twice. No children. Just moved here last week and unemployed. You know me now.” Well, you really get on his nerves. “That's not-” you interrupt him immediately. “What do you want to know more about me? I can cook. I can clean. Don't have many hobbies watching movies... baking... and I love writing but most of the time I'm lazy.” You add. “And you're my type.” Well, that quite impress him. Not the fact they he's your type but the fact that you don't even give up after he ghosted you many times earlier.

“You won't give up, will you?” Now you look at him like a puppy, waiting for food. It's start to rain again. John notices the rain that's pouring down on you. “As long as you don't tell me to fuck off.” John smirks and looks away. He hesitates for a moment. It's raining now and maybe it's not that bad to have a woman in his embrace tonight. He never had a girlfriend before but he isn't out of touch with women. He sometimes sleeps with the girls he meet at bars or restaurants around here. They come to his apartment time to time but that's only for one night. He hates commitment and attachment issues. And here you're a bad little girl, standing next to his car begging him to fuck her and give her some money which that's not even a problem for him. He might not have a big house but he can afford you that. “How much?” A big smile formed on your face. “Let's talk about that later.” He didn't say anything except unlock the door as an answer for you. You get in his car and now he drives you to his apartment.

You are standing right in front of his apartment door while he is unlocking the door for you. As he opens the door, you notice there's a spell on the frame of the door. That's kind of new thing for you meanwhile it is something that a guy like him would do. John takes off his black suit and his necktie since they're now soaked with rain. You slowly walk in and observe around. It's big but it's almost like an abandoned apartment. It doesn't matter actually, you just love to observe things because they can tell what kind of person he is. Just like handwriting. Your gaze stop on the many water gallons on the floor which have a christian cross on it. “Well, I wanna know more about your job now.” You look at him while he is washing his face in the bathroom. “An excorsist.” He walks out of the bathroom with soaked face and hair. “You can leave. Most girls do. They're scared.” He says calmly, you can tell that he actually experienced that a lot. An exorcist? Interesting. “But I'm not.” You walk towards him before unbuttoning your shirt, revealing your black lace underwear. “You know... I've never met a guy like you before.” John raises his eyebrows as he keeps his gaze on your face. You’re concentrating on it. “How?” Now you slowly slide your shirt down to the floor. “A spell on the door frame, gallons with chritain cross sign on them and the fact that I've never been fucked by an exorcist.” John’s lips form into a smirk as he looks all over your beautiful body. You notice him that. “Tell me your name. So I can moan the right one...” you start to unbuttoned his white shirt, revealing his toned body. He looks hot in white shirt that is the first thought of him but when there’s nothing on him is just like he puts a spell on you. You're captivated by him. “It's John.” He looks at you while you're busy sliding his shirt down. The curiosity comes across his mind when he thinks about how a woman like you got married twice. You look too good to marry many times actually. He can feel that you’re good at things on bed or stuff like that. “Why did you marry twice?” You raise your eyebrows and answer his question. You don’t mind answering personal to strangers since this is only one night. "The first one was son of a bitch and the second one moaned the wrong name. I divorced him in the next day." He chuckled with your answer. Your sense of humor is something. "Yeah?" It is probably the reason why you asked his name earlier. Even your ex husbands are sucks, he knows that you have a lot of experience about s**x. Of course, husbands and wives thing. "You must have a lot of experience. Don’t embarrass yourself, show me." His hands move to your neck, and over to your hair before he pulls your hair gently so he can see your face clearly. He presses his lips against yours before you interrupt him. "No... I choose to be an innocent today.”

You break the kiss and crawl on to his bed. You play hard to get. It’s more fun when you act like this. Not too essay to read. “Unfortunately, she is possessed by a sinful demon.” John smirks before hovering on top of you and kissing your neck. He nibbles your soft skin gently but sometimes he nibbles harder so you can feel the pain. He loves it. Not too gentle and not too hard. “What kind of sin that is inside you now, beautiful?” He asks as he slides down your trousers away, revealing your black lace underwear. Obviously, you matched it before you going out. How sl**tty you are. “Such a wh**e” he murmurs as he goes down between your legs and spread it. “So I can perform exorcism on you correctly.” His fingers trace down on your folds gently and press it time to time on the spot while he is talking with you. You look at him through your thighs. He does the same, you both gaze locks on each other. He looks… hot that you just want him to eat all over your body right now. You already ready to give up on anything and just give him your body. “Lust” not in a second after hearing your answer, he kisses on your folds through the lace underwear once before using one finger to pull your underwear aside without taking it off. His tongue on your folds feels like heaven. He licks it gently as you moan his name sweetly. He likes hearing John… John… from your mouth. So sweet and delicate. “Did your ex husbands did this to you, huh?” You can’t even form a sentence, sadly. You just keep calling his name. He is naughty you know. After a while, you almost c**m but he doesn’t let you. When he notices that you are about to c**m, he stops. You feel like you’re gonna die, you need more, more of him. Never enough.

John doesn’t let you wait for too long. He stands up before taking his trousers off, showing his d**ck. He crawls and gets on top of you afterwards. Your face is red and sweaty, you’re ready for it. John gives you a passionate kiss once again, biting your upper lip, sucking it until it’s full of his saliva. You groan softly when he kisses you. You don’t talk back you just stay still like a good little girl. “You can’t even say a word.” He said as he grabbed your chin and turn your face to his. “Should I stop again or finally fuck you now. What do you want?” He asks firmly because you look so submissive, quiet and submit. “F**ck me, John...” Your doe eyes tell everything. You want his d**ck so bad, you want to feel it inside you. You want him to fuck you until you can’t even moan. “Not enough. Beg me.” He demanded. “John… please… fuck me. Fill me.” Your hand grabs his big arm as you beg him. He slowly gets up and pull your legs, so your body can get closer to him. He put his d**ck inside you easily because you’re already wet. It’s so obvious that your black lace underwear becomes soaked and sticky. He doesn’t take your underwear off though, he loves when there are still clothes or something on your body, not too naked because it’s boring. “Fuck-” he groaned. His hip moves slow at first and slowly gets faster. He doesn’t want it to be so roughy. He loves it to be soft first and then hard later. “Oh- John…” your back arches like a cat while your hands finding something to squeeze. F**ck with an exorcist feeling like you go to heaven but on earth. “So tight.” He said. It’s like you’re still a v**rgin but the fact is that you have been f**cked by many strangers. You’re the exact definition of a sl**t. He moves faster than before, the sound of your skin being hit by his is so loud. However, that doesn’t seem to stop him, he doesn’t care if anybody is going to hear it. “Don’t pull out, John- fuck!” You moan loudly. “I am not gonna pull out. You’re so good. Fuck…” he doesn’t let go of your legs while his eyes are still on you for the whole time, the way your face starts to be sweaty and red makes him feel like he wants to f**ck you harder. And c**m inside you as well. Soon, your body starts to arch and shake a little while he fills you inside with his c**m. “Fuck-” He doesn’t take it off immediately, he just lets it stay like this for a moment while one of his hand places on your belly and presses it a little. So you could feel his d**ck inside you better. “I can feel it- fuck yes…” you muttered as you looked up at the ceiling. He leans on you and force your face to look at him. “I told you. I’m not out of touch with women. I know how to do with them.” You look at him with doe tearing eyes. It feels so good that you want to cry. You’re totally a good girl beneath him. Never talk back for the whole activity even now. “How much do you want?” You answer immediately as if you already thought about it. “22$” John raises his eyebrows because he thought you were going to ask more than that. “22$?” You nod as he grabs his wallet while his d**ick is still inside you, jiggling inside your p**ssy. He opens his wallet before counting it and then hand it to you. You starts to count. You notice that it's more than that. “28$ for being a good girl.” he leans to give you a kiss on your forehead before pulling it out of you. It’s still soaking. His c**m slowly flowing out of your pretty p**ssy. You slowly get up and kiss his lip while he’s dressing up. The money that he paid you earlier is now in your pocket. You are ready to leave, you don’t wash your p**ssy though. You just wear your underwear anyway because you love how sticky his c**m feels on your folds. It makes you feel good for hours later after this.

He watches you as you’re about to leave. You stop at his dining table and place a tiny paper on it. “What’s that?” “Call me when you feel lonely on a rainy night.” You give him a playful smirk and he does the same. John walks towards you and stands right in front of you closely. “Or crawl back to me when you need money.” He teases. You didn’t say anything just give him a goodbye look in your eyes. You left.

Tonight , rain doesn’t make him feel lonely anymore, I guess.

END

Author's note: I hope it's not cringe guys. That's all I want. 😭

© satlun, 2024 : DO NOT PLAGIARISM OR ANY OTHER WAY OF REPHRASING

[neowinestainedress]

important update

so mhh hi! i thought about this a lot, but i will go back to posting on ao3 again because this place is just not doing it for me anymore. the last two fics i posted wouldn't show up in the tags in any way, i had to delete the post (for the halloween fic) and i had to delete tags and links on "cause it's you", the community label hides posts, people don't reblog and leave little to no feedback and i put way too much energy into my stories to get angry at tumblr every two seconds.

i decided to start writing here because it felt like a community unlike ao3 but, honestly, i don't feel it anymore (and it's fine, people have lives outside of here, i don't expect everyone to interact with me but it saddens me a bit to have almost no interactions, especially when i see other writers have many asks or in general see them talk with the readers a lot, and after 4 years i just don't think i'm going to build that). i love writing, i genuinely do, but all my energy seems wasted sometimes and i need to focus on other stuff. i have many fics in mind actually, some are even finished and i was eager to post them but right now i'm not in the mood at all.

i made a twitter account (PUT YOUR AGE IN BIO OR ANYWHERE I CAN SEE IT or you won't be accepted) so if you want you can follow me there and know if and when i'll post on ao3 (might also post teasers, or write small drabbles there and post nsfw links) and talk about nct in general. i'm not leaving, i'll check the notifications and everything, i just won't be posting my writing here (still not sure if i won't post it here anymore ever again or if i will post it here a while after posting it on ao3).

in the meanwhile i'm also reposting some of my old fics on ao3 so if you want to re-read them there, you can do it! (and maybe get used to that site if you'd like to still keep up with me and my stories)

bye!

[losergames]

Since we are technically getting blackmailed into joining the crew, does that mean MC will canonically learn to love this whole business and join the crew at the end, or can they go "This has been horrible and absolutely not an honour, gentlepeople. Peace out. ✌️" once all is said and done? 'Cause let me tell you, I'm a grudge-holding bitch, and I wouldn't be able to get over that shit anytime soon, even if I keep quiet and fake about it.

that's a good question! and it's something i've been thinking about a lot re the game as a whole.

i've been asked this before, and had other similar feedback along the lines of 'my mc wouldnt do this - they wouldn't commit a crime!', and my gut reaction is always why are you playing a crime game in the first place haha.

i don't want to deep your question TOO much but honestly you've sparked something i'm always thinking about. crime is a really interesting to write about, especially in IF, because of course crimes can be influenced by social status, environment etc but a lot of criminology includes rational choice theory and how people weigh up things before engaging in illegal acts. and of course we all know IF is all about choices, so it's interesting to see how the subject of crime battles with this format. (also not every one in the world is a rational thinker, and i am in no way a criminology or sociology expert so this is a discussion for another day - highly recommend reading about it though!)

canonically i'm trying my best to give the pc options on how they feel about the whole thing, but again it bangs on the idea of 'if the mc hates it here so much why not just leave'. this gets discussed a lot in episode three, which i am working on right now! but, at the end of the day it's a crime game and we're here to steal some cool cars teehee.

i've actually weighed a lot on the idea of mc peacing out at the end and i always end up in this loop of questions like was the story not worth it? was the mc's experiences not worth it? were the relationships not worth it?? but i think that the mc's time with the gang can mean something even if it's decided they don't want to continue with that life. it might even be bittersweet to leave if they find a connection with someone in the crew and still decide to leave.

this being said, it also messes with the idea of a sequel hahaha, which is no way set in stone, but there's always possibilities! plus i can always make it that the sequel only applies to mcs who wanted to continue. i think it'd be really fun to play as an established criminal rather than someone learning the ropes.

[you-can-call-me-fangs]

Maybe some nsfw hc with angel or aki form chainsaw man? I haven’t seen you write anything for them so idk if you do write for aki and angel. Top Male reader pls.

-🧀anon

Sorry this took so long to get around to besides me just being lazy as shit it also takes me like three days to make a post after I'm done doing drafts, re-reading, finalising, etc. but whatevs enough excuses! I hope you still enjoy! 💙💙

Angel and Aki NSFW Headcannons

Contains: manhandling/borderline dub-con, belly bulging, mention of mirror sex, exhibitionism/chance of getting caught, Aki being touch starved?

° I wish I could have more nsfw headcannons for these pretty boys but I can't help but see them as vanilla as fuck, but they've still got some things that they like to do and that turn them on

° Angel likes it if his partner is bigger than him (which luckily for him is most people)

° This leads to Angel really being into being manhandled, like full on pick him up and throw him on the bed

° Angel is really into you forcing him to do things in whichever way you see fit, whether it be forcing his head up and down on your cock grabbing onto his hair while you do so, or using him as a glorified fleshlight by just holding onto his waist and forcing his body to move in any way you want on your dick

° Pretty much anything else you could think of that forces Angel to pleasure you in some way where you have all the control and there's nothing he can do about it he's probably down for it

° Angel especially loves positions where you have to pick him up and hold him in place, lifting his legs up wrapping them around your waist and fucking him like that? mmm✨delicious✨

° You can definitely expect some belly bulging with this one (maaaybe Angel wouldn't mind if you spread him out in front of a mirror so he could see the bulge you were making in his stomach too...just a thought 👀)

° Angel likes to be tied up

° I don't know why, I guess I just like the thought of Angel being tied up, whenever I think of him in shibari he's just so cute~

° Angel doesn't mind loves getting called pretty boy AND pretty girl

° I like to think that Angel, as a devil, doesn't care too much about gender or presenting as one particular gender so using either or works for him, so please don't hesitate to call him a good girl as you fuck him against the wall

° In between Angel's moans you can hear him cursing in a foreign language, probably latin

° I know I said Angel is pretty vanilla but just because of his nature as a demon I could imagine he's seen and/or is into some pretty freaky stuff that he'll want to divulge in with you in from time to time, but he doesn't want it to become a staple, Angel believes that sex should be quick and easy why complicate it with all the extra kinky stuff?

° Speaking of quick and easy I believe with my whole chest that Aki is into quickies

° Honestly just the thought of you pulling him into some unused office at work bending him over the table and taking him right there and then turns him on enough, imagine if you actually did it? He'd be over the moon

° Aki won't tell you this but he does get off on almost getting caught or being right out of sight or ear shot of someone seeing or hearing you both

° Aki's moans are pretty damn loud and noticeable he tries to hold them back but he's terrible at it, if you two did decide to do it in public somewhere it would be very ovbious what you were doing even if it was behind closed doors

° Two words (well maybe three): Househusband Aki. Need I say more

° Aki really enjoys foreplay, he likes having and knowing that all your attention is on him even if that sounds a little selfish to him

° Having your hands all over his body as you prep him, fingering him, playing with his nipples, kissing him, it doesn't matter

° Pretty much any sort of touch between the two of you is nice for Aki it's reassuring and comforting to him, he's a bit of a softie in the bedroom because of this, he doesn't like to be all rough and forced like Angel

° Aftercare with Aki is spectacular, you already know he's super sweet about it

° He gets both of you all cleaned up afterwards, taking a shower telling you how good you made him feel, rubbing, massaging, cuddling, you name it your doing it!

° Aki for sure enjoys cuddling the most though, being able to run his hands on your body

° Aki also most definitely expects you to do the same, he wants your hands on him as much as possible, running them up and down his sides, putting your fingers in his hair, etc.

° And this doesn't just apply to aftercare but during sex too, wrapping one of your arms around his waist while you thrust into him, letting Aki hold onto your biceps or even putting his arms around your neck, it doesn't matter as long as Aki gets to touch you

° Both of them aren't very good with dirty talk, Aki isn't good at hearing dirty talk and Angel isn't good at speaking dirty

° When Angel tries to dirty talk it usually comes in the form of him trying to decribe all the dirty stuff he wants you to do to him, but it normally comes out like a confused mess, he'll hesitate once with what to say next and then it goes off the rails from there

° Ironically in the spur of the moment when Angel is half out of his mind from overstimulation he might actually say something really sexy that turns you on, he doesn't even know he's doing it, it will just start to happen naturally, guess he needed your help :)

° Aki on the other hand just gets easily flustered so hearing dirty talk will make him turn bright red almoat instantly, it would be a really nice way to tease him

° Aki's way of blushing is also super adorable, it's one of those blushes that reaches all over there face and down their neck, you can even see him get red on other parts of his body like his shoulders, chest, knuckles, all in all Aki just lights up if you can find a way to fluster him (which shouldn't be too hard)

[fangxin-guoshi]

Banana fish re-review ~

I did a rewatch of banana fish and oh my God I forgot how good this series was. Considering the original manga came out in the 80's in JAPAN, it was SO ahead of its time. One of the best depictions of gay characters I've ever seen in Japanese media, even by today's standards.

Some more silly thoughts:

Like yoshida just casually dropped a manga with an insanely progressive take on the bl genre by showing a complex queer interracial relationship with incredibly well-written characters. Honestly the fact that ash and eiji's relationship wasn't explicitly defined as romantic is a plus imo. Not being able to rely on obvious romantic gestures like kissing, hand-holding, romantic confessions, etc. actually forces the writer to develop their relationship without that crutch to lean on. That's why ash and eiji's relationship is so good, because it doesn't rely on surface-level romance to get across the fact that they love each other and instead use subtlety and little nuances in their interactions. It's obvious from the subtext and how much they're shown to care for each other.

Not to mention the great depiction of black characters (I know portraying black characters non-offensively is like, the bare minimum, but may I remind you this is the EIGHTIES in JAPAN, and there are so many CURRENT animes that have an issue with it).

I mean yea does it have its flaws? Sure. Ash's admittedly very lame "lynx" title that comes with many wildcat metaphors, eiji being a bit passive in the first half, sort of cringe portrayal of America, etc. but my God the way she handles the trauma and character dynamics is incredible.

Ok so I did have a uh... Not really a criticism but something that I noticed that got me thinking. I feel like some shows use dark subject matter as a bit of an easy way to evoke an emotional reaction from the audience. Sometimes authors give characters horrible backstories as a way to make the audience THINK the character is complex and interesting but in reality it's a bit of a lazy writing tactic. Low effort high reward kind of thing. Banana fish obviously does have brutal subject matter and ash is really put through the ringer, but I love that yoshida doesn't let that become the axis of his character. He has trauma that greatly impacts him, but he's also super developed on his own apart from that. When I think about Ash's character, I don't immediately think about the traumatic backstory parts. The balance between how significantly the trauma affects him vs making sure that's not the ONLY part of his character is extremely well-executed.

Scenes that stuck out to me (not including asheiji ones bc it goes without saying theyre all amazing)

- the interrogator playing Ash's tapes after being arrested ("later, movie star" was the most brutal line ever omg)

- max burning the photos of ash (underrated moment this was SO good),

- any and all interactions between sing and blanca (they're such an unlikely duo peak comedy right there)

- the convo between sing and yut lung in the last episode

- ash stabbing the guy in the dick with a fork

- callback to ^^^, ash stabbing the banana with a fork

- Ash's breakdown in front of dino (ep 19 I believe)

- the entirety of ash escaping from the "mental hospital" and then having to go rescue ibe and max lmaooo

- ash brutally murdering Abraham(?, the redhead guy) by blowing abt a thousand holes in him w a machine gun as payback for shorter

- ash shooting shorter

- running joke of max being Ash's dad

- everyone constantly manhandling yut lung by yanking on his hair (dude get a haircut)

- ash immediately going to shoot himself no hesitation after yut lung told him he wouldn't hurt eiji if he did so (technically asheiji but I'm keeping it since this was a yut lung and ash scene)

- "what does this picture look like?" "Your wife"

- eiji's cute stupid little outfit he wore when he went to go find shorter in Chinatown

I also have a confession:

I LOVE yut lung. Him being paralleled with ash, but instead of finding love he let hate consume him because he had no one unlike ash who had eiji was just devastating but in a good way.

So yea those are my messy thoughts after finishing it. I'd argue that it was probably one of the best pieces of queer media to exist at the time. In the world. And one of my personal favorite pieces of queer media ever.

[scarletwinterxx]

glitter pens and goodnight kisses with the Lee's - dad Mark lee scenario

hi! this one is a request and honestly I missed dad Mark too so here you goooo. hope you like it!! 💛😊

part1: day with dad mark lee

part2: another day with dad mark lee

part3: a day with the lee's

part4: (prologue) i don't know how to make eggs

part5: glitter pens and goodnight kisses with the Lee's

part6: first love and kisses

part7: naps and baby kicks

part8: then there was three

part9: just like you

if you have a request or scenario you want me to do, just send me a message I'll see what I can do😊💌

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2023 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

(gif not mine, credits to rightful owner)

It's a bit earlier than the usual time Mark drives back home. It was less hectic at the office today so he decided to call it a day and come back home to his wife and kids, surely his favorite part of the day.

When he enters your home, he can already smell something cooking in the kitchen. Probably a new batch of cookies since he knows you love baking.

Walking towards the delicious scent, he sees you standing in the middle of the kitchen with your cute red apron with hearts all over it and all over his eyes. This right here is the life he has always dreamed of, he thinks quietly to himself how he's the luckiest guy on the Earth to have married a woman like you. He must've done something so right in his past life.

Sensing another presence in the kitchen, you look over the doorway to see your husband with this animated look in his eyes. A look you've memorized through the years.

"You're home early" you tell him, he walks towards you giving you a hug from behind. Molding himself behind you, with two kids running around Mark makes sure to savor these rare moments when it's just the two of you.

"Missed you too much" he mumbles, burying his head on the crook of your neck. He then pepper kisses all over the side of your face, the shell of your ears, stopping to rest his lips against your head while he still holds you in his arms.

"Where's the kids?" he asks, the living room was empty when he entered and he knows the two kids are already done with school.

"In their playroom, I should check on them in a bit it's too quiet" you joke

"I'll do it, you finish up here. I'll go check on the kids and change" he gives you another kiss on the cheek before breaking away.

He then makes his way down the hall to where the playroom is, just when he was about to open the door he heard a scream from the inside.

In an instant, his protective instincts kick in. Throwing the door open, ready to fight whatever or whoever dared to scare his children but he only saw his two little humans in there.

"Daddy!" Minjee says the moment her eyes land on her dad, running towards him to hug his legs.

"What is going on in here?" he looks around the room, checking to see if everything's alright then looking at his oldest for an explanation.

"We were just coloring" Minjung mumbles, Mark knew that wasn't the end of the story so he asks his daughter

"Minjee?"

"Oppa broke my glitter pen" she cries

"I didn't! I wanted to use it for my drawing but she wouldn't let me use it!" the 8 year old retorts. In the middle of the commotion, Mark didn't notice you approaching.

"What's happening here?" you ask, standing behind Mark before entering the room. This time Mark leans down to pick Minjee up while Minjung turns to you,

"Minjee didn't want to share" he frowns while he tells on his sister, "Did you ask nicely before you took it?" you asked calmly

"Yes" the young boy replies, you then turn to the little girl in your husbands arm. She knew it was the only place no one would ever dare to harm her, even you. Mark is Minjee's protector.

"Minjee? Did you not want to share with your brother?" you ask

"But I wanted to use it" she grumbles

"Yes, love. I know but were you using it when Minjung asked if he could use it? He did ask you first before taking it"

"No" again the little girl mumbles, looking down on her fingers currently playing with her father's buttons

You share a look with your husband before signaling for him to put Minjee down, at first Mark was hesitant but he followed your command anyways. His kids might have him wrapped around their fingers but at the end of the day he's most scared of you.

"Minjee, come here baby. Will you say sorry to your brother? It's not nice. Minjung you apologize also for taking the pen, next time you wait until she finishes then you ask again nicely. I don't like it when you two fight" you tell the two kids, both of them looking at you with glassy eyes.

"Sorry" Minjee mumbles, looking over at her brother

"Me too, I'm sorry" the older one says, holding out the pen to her which she gladly takes. "Good, thank you to the both of you for listening to mom. Now why don't you clean up before we eat dinner? I made cookies" you smile at the two, giving them each a kiss on the head.

The youngest one already running out the room to clean, nothing gets her going more than the promise of dessert.

Meanwhile, the oldest Lee sibling stays behind catching your attention.

"Mommy, is it okay if I get glitter pens too? Dad got it for Minjee last time. I wanted some too to color my drawings" he asks you, immediately you felt bad. You didn't mean to make your son feel left out, and you're sure that wasn't Mark's intention either.

"Of course, love. We can get you some" you tell him, ruffling his hair

"And I'm sorry for being a bad brother, you always tell me to be nice to Minjee because she's my sister" he says, looking over at you then at his dad still standing by the door. This made Mark walk towards the two of you, crouching down until he was eye to eye with his son

"You're not a bad brother, siblings fight sometimes but that doesn't make you a bad one. We know you didn't mean it. And I'm sorry too, how about we go to the craft store this weekend to get you some supplies?" Mark asks him with a small smile, feeling bad and trying to make it up to his son

"Really? Can Minjee come too? She loves it there" that made the two of you smile, Minjung always taking care of his sister.

"Sure buddy, whatever you want. Now, before you go can dad have a hug?" Minjung grins before running straight to his father's arms, looking at your two boys you're sure your heart is about to burst

"Hey, don't leave me out" you tell them, the two boys turn to you before embracing you.

Once dinner was done and the two kids are tucked away in bed, Mark waits for you in the bedroom while you finish you nighttime routine. When you slide on the mattress next to him, immediately he pulls you to his side.

"Long day?" you ask him, a lazy smile on your face while you brush the few strands of hair falling on his eyes

"Kinda, and to think you do this everyday. God, you are amazing" he tells you before giving you a kiss. When the two of you broke apart, he just stares at you,

"You think Minjung's okay?" he asks

"What do you mean?"

"The thing with the pens? I really didn't think about it, I just thought Minjee would love it. I don't want him to think we have favorites" he tells your worries, nights like this are his favorites. When he gets to talk about his day with you, to say every worry every thought to his other half.

"No, he doesn't think that way. We love them both just as much"

"Mhm, it's okay for our kids to have favorites but we can't" he jokes, "What are you talking about?"

"Clearly Minjung likes you now more than me, I'm starting to get jealous. We used to spend more time together"

"Silly, he loves you just as much"

"Na uh, he likes you more. He told me so when I jokingly asked him, believe me I was silent the way home" he tells you, making you laugh.

"If I'm Minjung's favorite then you're Minjee's, but what's new. She's always been a daddy's girl"

And Mark wears that badge with honor. Minjee will always be his little princess. Of course he loves both of his children equally.

"Okay then one's a mommy's boy and the other one is a daddy's girl" he says

"Yea apparently, but we love them both" you mumble, burying your head on the crook of his neck.

"Yea" he breaths out

"Years later it's still unfair how I carried them for nine months only for them to look like you, down the habits" you tell your husband.

The kids are old enough for Mark to finally stop denying it and say otherwise, his two kids are his carbon copies without a doubt. But you love it.

"You love us" he tells you, hugging you even closer until you're completely laying on top of him

"You know how we can solve that?" Mark asks with this new twinkle is his eyes, a cheeky smile on his lips

"And what do you suggest, Mr. Lee?"

You feel his arms snake around your waist before he flips the two of you over, this time he's the on top.

"What if we make another one?" he whisper, dipping his head down to kiss the shell of your ear then down the hollow of your neck. Already, you're putty under him. Like he knows just how to put you under his spell and make you do his bidding.

"And have another version of you?" you asks, voice sounding more breathy. He smirks against your skin, his mind already imagining you pregnant with his child again. This was enough to lit a fire in him.

You continued before pulling him for a kiss "Sounds like a dream to me"

[wimbledon2008]

so i just finished the captive prince series about a week ago and am rereading it now. just finished the hello lover scene and honestly im still so confused over what's going on in laurent's head lmao like??

was he previously compartmentalizing his resentment so well that real feelings developed, but now he finally has a chance to truly let his anger out, he's locking down the positive feelings?

was he being truthful about manipulating damen the whole time (highly unlikely to me)? or was the cruelty in and of itself a play, either to push damen away despite not actually wanting to, or some other convoluted reason? bc damen really would have done anything he asked, trying to outmaneuver him like that was unnecessary.

my first theory feels the most right to me, and he just needed more time to process and purge his desire for revenge but idk im a taurus and very akielon coded. i love laurent but i do not understand that man lol

okay, disclaimer, i haven't read the books in quite some time so this probably isn't the fullest or deepest analysis. i welcome any additions or corrections from those who are better at meta than me <3

so the hello lover scene is incredibly complex and nuanced, a standard of pacat's writing that makes his works so infinitely re-readable. based on my personal understanding of the scene, there are a few key things that help to explain why laurent behaves the way he does in the tent scene:

1. laurent needs damen and the akielons to win against his uncle, which he very much wants to do. charcy didn't go how he'd originally planned, and he knows damen is pissed about it and probably thinks the worst of laurent right now - that he intentionally abandoned the akielons at charcy for his own purposes. so laurent is being manipulative; he is trying to outmaneuver damen. because what damen says is true: laurent has no allies, no friends, he's ruined his reputation by aligning himself with akielos, etc. we as the readers know that damen cares deeply for laurent and wouldn't just abandon him, and if laurent simply explained what happened and asked damen to help him, damen wouldn't hesitate to stay at his side. but laurent doesn't think damen has any reason to trust him, so laurent can't trust damen either. so instead of being honest, he chooses to be cold-blooded, to assert control over the situation and force damen's hand to ensure that the alliance he worked so hard to establish stays intact. he could've just asked, but this is laurent, and there are other factors at play, such as the fact that

2. laurent is already in love with damen by the tent scene, or at least most of the way there. but laurent can no longer pretend damen is anyone other than the person who killed his brother. damen walks into that tent as prince damianos, in full akielon regalia, covered in blood, with a sword. laurent has been doing some aggressive compartmentalizing, especially in order to have allowed himself to sleep with damen. who killed his brother, which was the inciting incident that made laurent's life a living hell. laurent has not forgiven damen for auguste, and he's having to really confront that hatred and anger for maybe the first time since the first book. and laurent is also punishing himself for caring for and sleeping with damen, his brother's killer. can you even imagine? it's better not to. laurent probably hates himself as much as he hates damianos in that moment. so he shoves all those glimmering, positive feelings down because he wants to hurt damen, and himself too. and none of this is particularly rational because

3. laurent is very upset at the beginning of king's rising. this is an understatement. he's still reeling from nicaise's death, which he blames himself for, he's losing damen, the only person he trusted, he was recently stabbed, and everything is spiraling out of his tightly held control. and when laurent is upset he's cruel. he's not at his best in the tent scene. he's clinging to his own self-preservation, and he's making it up as he goes along because whatever his original plan was got blown to hell, which is clear because he's saying shit that doesn't even make sense. see, e.g., this post about him allegedly enduring damen's "fumbling attentions" to win a battle he didn't even know about at the time. while laurent is being cold and ruthless to secure his position as best he can (see no. 1), he's also acting from a place of emotion instead of strict rationality, which is how he typically operates, and how he prefers to act. he's on the defensive, he's deeply confused and unable to cope with all of his conflicting feelings about damen, and he's lashing out - protecting himself before damen can hurt him first. and then damen literally sticks his thumb in his stab wound. basically: our boy laurent's going through it in a major way.

going back and re-reading your message i realize i've essentially just reiterated everything you initially said but with a lot of extra words. so i guess the long and short of it is: you're right. honestly there are so many ways to interpret the tent scene and everything else laurent says and does, which is what makes him so fascinating! so thanks for giving me the opportunity to dive back into his psyche for a little while <3

[see-arcane]

I don't think Mina is now but a mindless plaything being led to the castle by the guy who very much does *not* want her to reach him tbh. My read is that it is her Dracula-induced senses that help her know where to go in reaching her destination, his lair, the closer they get to it. Senses she has harnessed, because she's confident instead of freaked out about it. Of course, Jonathan has written about the sharp turn on that road too, so she explains it away that way, as telling Van Helsing "don't freak out but I can do that now" would have made him think she's now pretty much turned.

Honestly, this whole scene and the premise of the coming scenes in which [SPOILERS] we meet up with the Weird Sisters is a very mixed bag ability and intention-wise. The way I break it down is:

-Mina already had something like intuitive/psychic ability prior to Dracula chomping on her. She has little blips of more than ordinary Awareness throughout the novel--and one juicy line is yet to come regarding her awareness of Jonathan 👀--that don't really tie into the Count's whole shtick. Whatever was already there might have gotten spurred into greater action by the vampirism like waking up an underused muscle, but...

-...despite Dracula's consciousness/voice being present in hers with the hypnotic trance, I doubt he really needed to be the one to have Mina point out the path with 'stolen knowledge.' Jonathan did write about the way up to the Castle! But then he also wrote about how Dracula kept driving him in circles to waste time and disorient him. All of which was happening in the dark. Maybe she gleaned enough from that entry, maybe not. But I suspect she'd have put the route together regardless and her current creepiness was what threw Van Helsing off.

-That said, I think where a lot of folks are putting their foot down as far as 'this is removing her agency/power!' or 'Dracula wouldn't want her to know how to get up there, it's a secret stealth-girlboss move!' etc etc is that it kind of overlooks a few important points.

One, Re: Dracula almost certainly threw in Dracula's consciousness being present for the "My Jonathan" line alone. It adds more horror to the scene, an extra gut punch, and provides a way to sneak in a few more lines for Karim Kronfli. It made my skin crawl to think about that smug fucker making use of the temporary trance-connection to spit that unctuous claim out. Which is the point! It makes you want to punch the bastard's fangs in even more!

Two, it's not him robbing her of anything (much as he'd like to somehow take even more from her). Their minds are mingled soup whenever the hypnosis happens. That's how she's been able to get anything out of the Count's mind in the first place. Nothing has changed in the status quo apart from the fact that she's been growing harder to get any info from.

Three, I would bet good money Dracula would genuinely be super eager to see Van Helsing and Mina mosey on up to the territory where his three weed-smoking baby-eating girlfriends are lurking around. Not just because he's still a cocky fucker when it comes to his/his thralls' power, but because here, now, he has every reason to be that cocky.

Van Helsing has never killed a vampire at this point. Arthur and Jack took the Bloofer Lady apart. The guys are all closing in on Dracula with their numbers and strength and weapons.

But him? An openly terrified old man, traveling up into the mountains that are Dracula's admitted place of power, perhaps even a genius loci, with a companion who is quickly turning into his murderer-in-potentia, specifically to confront Three Whole Vampires to hopefully catch them unawares in their coffins if he doesn't get torn to shreds or eaten first? Even having read the book, I would still hesitate to bet on the professor. If I were Dracula, I'd be brain-texting the Weird Sisters to roll out a red carpet and paint arrows on the mountains.

THIS WAY TO YOUR BIG HEROIC SCENE, OLD MAN!

NEVER MIND THE UNMARKED GRAVES OF CENTURIES' WORTH OF TRANSYLVANIAN LOCALS WHO TRIED TO BE A HERO BEFORE YOU!

WE HAVE UTMOST CONFIDENCE THAT YOU!--YOU ALONE!--WILL DEFINITELY BE THE EXCEPTION!

PLEASE WASH YOUR NECK BEFORE PROCEEDING BEYOND THIS POINT!

In short, it would make sense that Dracula wants to let Van Helsing know the route to Exsanguination Station. He has zero reason to expect that events will align in any way that's not in his favor on his own territory with his bloodthirsty thralls on alert. Perish the thought!

(If you listen close, you can almost hear Bram Stoker rubbing his hands together and snickering behind the fourth wall.)

[effervescentdragon]

Hi! I love reading fics and i love you authors, so i try to comment as much as possible... But i'm always terrified to say something that might upset people by mistake, like maybe coming off too entlited when i say smth about updates of the fics and stuff like that. So i was wondering, is anything that you, as an author, really don't like to find in the comments of your works?

This is a really nice and sweet ask honestly and I love you a bit for asking this.

First thing I can tell you is that you're on the right track. What personally gets me sad and upset every time is when people comment "when is the next update" or something in that vein without saying anything else. What did you like about my fic? Do you have a favourite part? Even just a "this was lovely" or "i like this" is more than enough and any extra details are an absolute delight. But if there's only a demand for an update, well, that's really not inspiring in any sort of way. It makes me personally feel like I am just a content-producing machine, and that's... an awful feeling. I am a writer. I am a creator. I sit down and I agonize over every word I write and I try to make it as good as possible for everyone that's reading it. So any sort of acknowledgement goes a long way. I'll never get upset over someone asking about an update in a respectful way, so long as that's not the only thing they write, because that just really comes off as entitled. You know what I mean?

I think the most important thing is to be polite, always. If you wouldn't say it to a person in real life, don't say it to an author. (This doesn't completely apply to nsfw work, because I think there are ways of complimenting a well written sex scene that don't go into the teritory of creepy, but I think it's still a good rule of thumb to be mindful of the language you use at any time.)

A thing to be mindful of. I (the author) am writing this in my free time and not for profit. Comments that annoy me sometimes are those that go "would you write this for [insert different pairing]" or comments that are basically asking for another fic to be written to the specifications of the commenter. That's not a comment on my work, that's your work/idea. These kinds of comments sometimes feel like a demand and come off really entitled, which is a thing that just makes me not wanna write anything ever again.

Another thing - we authors delight in talking about our fics. We literally live for that stuff so never worry that you'll ramble or say too much, because there is genuinely not such thing as talking too much to an author about their fics/work. Like. I'd talk about my fics all the time istfg, especially if someone enjoys them as much as I do. In fact, I am more likely to take up my wips again when I get positive feedback. That doesn't mean that you have to write a novel in every comment. I had a comment the other day that just said sth like "this fucking wrecked me" and I spent half the day grinning about it. It's not the length, it's the sentiment behind it. Some of my favourite comments have been "re-reading this, love it".

I think that about covers my personal feelings as an author. If anyone has something to add, please do. And thank you, anon, for asking this. It means a lot.

[happy-mokka]

Happy birthday to me!!! 🎂

Yeah. Hi. It's me. Middle-aged Aziraphale fangirl did his next big step in the direction of the big 50.

Wahooooo! Not really…

I hate my birthdays. Always did. Even as a child.

Now as this middle-aged queerish-dude I am still having a hard time, standing in the middle of things and being cheered on by others.

I was born. Great. Get along, people, nothing to see here. Can you all just go home please?

"Well, what the f*ck are you doing here then, right now, with this post, in the middle of an internet platform in front of a bunch of strangers?!?"

some of you might ask. And rightly so, I must add.

Way more than 12 hours before - it is now past 10 pm in Germany - so this morning after I woke up to be exact, I had seriously contemplated the possibility to call in sick on my birthday, and hide myself from the world, quietly sobbing on my couch. For the first time in my working life of 24 years. I had always been to work on my birthdays. No exception.

But the past months had been hard. I never really felt in control of things, still don't. Those who know me closer, know that I like to be in control. Always a plan at hand. Always prepared…

Only that it didn't really work out…hasn't for quite a long time. I just never admitted it to myself. Always kept on going. My family was always good in repressing things.

Don't show weakness. Keep on functioning. What will the others think? People depend on you!

My family also never really considered me being "a success story" by their standards. I am unmarried. Don't have children. No big career. Ok, I've put enough on the side to live a financial solid life in a nice appartment. But the first part really nagged at them, and through them at me.

So I was already unhappy for quite some time.

Together with an ongoing above-average and ever growing work-load at the office, this feeling of unhappiness turned slowly into dread and then deep sadness, until I felt close to breaking with the beginning of today.

Now, almost 15 hours later, I am here, writing this sappy stuff and am genuinely happy for the first time in months.

"What changed?"

Well, I was thinking about this a lot in the past hour. While sitting in the bus and later while walking home.

Honestly? Nothing really changed.

I got my eyes opened and my perspective adjusted by someone very dear to me. That's what friends are for, and she is the best of them. My bestie.

She is the one who got me addicted to Good Omens last year and pushed me onto this hellsite. She brought me Doctor Who and the Tardis (yeah, I know, shame on me, coming so late to the game…). She makes me constantly re-think my opinions and keeps opening new windows to look through on things I had missed or never noticed before. She is challenging me on a daily basis to be more than I normally would go for or did for many years. She became the closest friend I have ever had in my life. Sure, I know lots of people a lot longer in years. Some since Kindergarten. But none of them digged themselves so deep into the darkest corners of my soul. Places not even my brother or my parents ever got to see. She made me, a life long rather shy introvert, open up, despite the fact that she is even more introverted than I have ever been. I still don't fully understand all of it, but here I am, writing all this to an unknown audience, as proof. A year ago, this wouldn't have been possible, not even in my wildest dreams.

"So, you didn't realize this before?"

I did. It just got pushed aside by all the negative spiralling. Sometimes you don't see, what's right in front of you.

After work, I walked her home. I like doing that. Sometimes talking all the way. Sometimes just walking in silence side by side. At her place she handed me 2 presents and just like that, it clicked. Sometimes, it doesn't take much, if it comes from the heart…

People, meet my new Michael Sheen mug!!!

So, we basically bonded over Good Omens and as faith would have it, we are exactly Aziraphale (me) and Crowley (her) coded. 100%.

It makes me beyond happy, knowing that everytime I'll sip my coffee with my beloved Sheeny, on the other end of town she will sip her hot cocoa out of her corresponding new David Tennant mug.

Good Omens was not the only thing we found out to have in common. The common ground sometimes is really breathtaking and we still regularly stumble over new things it contains. So many things that we equally love. Books, movies, music, long walks, just sitting there in silence and taking in a beautiful view… On the other hand, we are so different in so many aspects, but with the feeling of it rather complementing than dividing us.

She loves to chrochet, I can't even hammer a nail strait into a sponge. Speaking of which, meet my 2nd gift: Audrey!!!!!!!!!

We watched "Little shop of Horrors" (the 1986 version with Rick Moranis) a few weeks ago. Both for the first time. Loved it. I immediately fell for "Audrey", the flesh-eating alien plant. Didn't speak anything out loud, still it didn't go unnoticed…and, yes, it is hand-made!!!

*sigh*

"So, what am I trying to say here?"

Good qestion…

Life can be cruel. Life will be hard at times. It will make you cry, like, a lot.

Try to not go through all this alone. Sometimes those that you least expect it from, turn out to become your anchor in the stormy sea or the lighthouse showing you the way. Build your own little family of friends (even if its just one). Hold them tight, once you found them. Love them with all that's in you. You will get it back ten fold.

To quote the great Neil Gaiman:

Why?

L🥰ve!

@uncleadelheid-will-eat-your-soul , thanks for being all that for me, little introverted geeky metal edgelord office girl, and thanks for enduring my annoying love for bad jokes and even worse puns…

P.S.: Sorry btw for the storm, lighthouse, anchor metaphors with you hating all that's related to the dark blue sea…I still didn't edit them out…maybe we'll be getting there. At least I left out fishy fish…

🐟🐠🐡🦈🌊🦑

[bambi-kinos]

@yulia-k-blog

Sorry it took me a while to answer this, I wanted a short break from meta and there's more to write still. John and Yoko's relationship eh.

I think they had a genuine camaraderie and artistic connection. Yoko was doing something interesting when John was bored, frustrated, and angry. I think that her ideas genuinely excited him especially since she was using abstract thinking in her art, as well as focusing on audience participation in a way that John had never thought of before. What I noticed from reading about Yoko's exhibits and props was that she wanted to invoke reactions and emotions in the audience. Like she once constructed a box made out of plywood and stuck it full of pickles or something and the whole deal was that you were supposed to stick your hand in it. Feels creepy and gross but at least you felt something right? That's what she wanted.

Now whether Yoko's art was actually any good is a completely different question. She was not the only or first performance artist to be creating exhibits with the idea of making audience participation as the focal point. She wasn't the only or first abstract thinker to come out of Japan at that point either. John was kind of a dumbass for being so taken with her honestly because by the time November 1966 rolled around, Yoko wasn't doing anything new or even interesting. John met her at Indica because other performance artists setting up their crappy little exhibits there. Yoko's whole thing was that she came to the UK because she deduced that the British were more willing to put up with her half baked ideas. She couldn't get traction in the United States specifically because artists from France and Germany and other Western European nations had moved to New York City to GTFO out of their wartorn nations and find their fortunes overseas. So it wasn't just that Yoko was behind the curve and trying to play catch up, it's that the sophisticated international globetrotters in New York City spent a lot of time putting her in her place with regards to her art hustle lmao.

But anyway. John and Yoko, they had a genuine connection. I think that was real. John couldn't make anyone give a shit about her but hey, he was impressed with her. Can't fake that. I think Yoko had a genuine affection for him too, even if it was more like a Hollywood actress doting on her purse puppy a la Paris Hilton.

The problem is that this was manufactured lmao. Yoko pestered Paul for manuscripts in 1965 or thereabouts (yes it really was that early), he deflected her to John, and she began stalking John at his fucking house to the point he changed the phone number a few times and she sent him tampons, once jumped into his car and demanded a ride while Cynthia was also in it, and other crazy shit like that. Yoko was really, really desperate for his attention but she was also desperate for his money: she wrote up a goddamn contract with her then husband Tony Cox where they agreed to split the proceeds that they got from John Lennon 50/50. I don't know if this was before or after """meeting""" John at Indica in 1966 but Yoko's original plan was to steal everything she could from John and split it with her husband. What a nice lady looking after John's money for him like that, making sure it wouldn't get stolen, huh.

I do wonder sometimes if the Beatles thing got out of Yoko's control and if she was just as much along for the ride as Paul was. But anyway. Again, sorry, about myself, I editorialize.

Yoko wanted a patron and she decided to aim high for a Beatle. John wanted to escape the Beatles and go on a "fuck Paul" spree. They both gave each other that. And I think they both succeeded admirably in what they wanted to do. Yoko got to have her Beatle and she has never been without money ever since. John got to jump on the "fuck Paul" train and he never got off it, regardless of what his true feelings about the matter were.

It was not a phony relationship by any means. I think that John legitimately respected Yoko as an artist. He saw something there that no one else does. It's just that it was always lopsided. Yoko liked having John as her pet and he liked being her pet. It was never a relationship between equals like it was with John and Paul.

And I mean. To John's credit he did not want a relationship between equals. Multiple reports from the Dakota confirm that John actively wanted Yoko to handle everything and he resented the idea that he should take charge of his finances and his diet and his life. When Yoko fired John's lawyers so he would have no legal representation in her impending divorce plans (god that was a quagmire) he did not raise a peep as far as we know. What makes their relationship so baffling is that Yoko did so many awful things to John and the worst he would do in response is use their tarot reader Charlie Swan as a marriage counselor and vent his feelings about his wife before quietly returning to their dynamic.

How do you keep a man like John Lennon? How do you make him stay? Yoko shows us how! Ignore him! Do not speak to him for weeks on end! Insult him and call him names! Give him a limited allowance of money and unlimited drugs! Take over his legal and financial representation and absolutely do not allow him the choice to take it back!

tl;dr Cyn and Paul loved John and he ran from them. Yoko squeezed John for everything he had and he clung to her. That is their relationship.