#but in reality we just dont know that much about her so im able to make her do whatever i want bcuz im evil 😈

[all-thestories-aretrue]

I've had this for a while and idk if I'm actually going to do anything with it, so have these five sentences about Neil and Nara.

Nara presses a joint into his hand, holds him as the world slips away, as his thoughts slip away. This is why he was made, she says, shushing his frantic speech. He believes her.

She carves up his memory to extract seemingly nonsensical visions, plies him with kalif and pleasure until they blur and he remembers neither.

[ravenromanova]

I fucking hate you

Parings: Bucky x Female avenger reader

Warnings: Enemies to lovers, Mean Bucky (only for a little). SMUTTTTT DO NOT READ IF YOURE UNDER 18+! Daddy kink, Metal arm kink, Praise kink, Hate fucking, Breeding kink, Unprotected sex, Oral (m and f), Fingering. DO NOT READ IF YOU ARE UNDERAGE

Summary: When you and Bucky are forced to have a therapy session after a mission gone wrong you two find another way to let the anger out.

Kinktober masterlist - Main masterlist - Send me requests!!!!

~

The sound of the clock ticking mixed with a pen tapping against a notebook drives you insane as you stare at the wall. It’s been thirty minutes of silence with neither you or Bucky daring to speak first. In your eyes this session was pointless. He was the one who fucked up the mission and yet youre paying for it by having a therapy session with him.

The mission was a simple intel mission… or it should’ve been until Bucky went off the rails and got the both of you captured. Luckily you were able to get yourselves freed before anything bad happened. But nevertheless you were told by Fury and Maria that you two needed to fix the issues between you. Honestly you didn’t hate Bucky as much as you led on but he could be such an insufferable asshole sometimes.

He would constantly pick on you like a small child, belittle your powers and abilities, and not to mention he would constantly ditch you during missions. So since he wanted to be an asshole you decided that being a petty bitch would get him to stop… You were very wrong and that just seemed to make it worse for you.

All in all you were completely infatuated with the super soldier but it was clear he had no interest in you. So you kept up the petty bitch act and that just meant the two of you were constantly at war with one another.

“This is a waste of time, It wasnt even my fault the mission got fucked up so im not even sure why im here.” You state crossing your arms looking at Dr.Raynor.

“The reason youre here y/n is so you and James can work through whatever it is going on in hopes that you two start getting along” The older woman says with a slight shake to her head.

“I wouldn’t have a problem with him if he wasnt such a dick” Your words made Bucky whip his head to look at you with a scowl on his face.

“Oh im the asshole? What about you huh? You’re a fucking pest and not to mention the weakest one on the team” He scoffed looking back at raynor.

“THE WEAKEST ONE? The only thing special about you came from a fucking test tube” You retort feeling yourself about to explode from rage.

“Oh so that’s how we are gonna play this?” He asked cocking his head to the side with a smug smile.

“You act like youre tough shit when in all reality take off the arm and take away the serum then what are you? A amputee with a military background.. You aren’t that special” Your words hit a part of him he didn’t know existed anymore.

“Okay enough you two!” Dr.Raynor said before Bucky had the chance to respond. “This is ridiculous! Throwing insults back and forth wont help whatever is going on between you two” She continued and you and Bucky huffed.

“It definitely makes me feel better knowing miss priss over here gets knocked down a few pegs” He mumbles under his breath.

“Okay that’s it! I’m fucking done. I cant do this shit anymore. You wanna hate me? fine. Guess what? I fucking hate you too” You said standing up abruptly and slamming the door as you exit the room.

Bucky and Dr.Raynor both looked at each other and sighed. “Why cant you just be honest with her?” She asked him making him roll his eyes.

“I dont know what youre talking about” He shakes his head making the older woman groan.

“Dont play dumb James. We both know how you feel about y/n you are just to chicken shit to tell her” She retorts raising her eyebrows at the solider.

“You’re a terrible therapist” He retorts shaking his head at her comment. Yes Bucky was madly in love with you but he didn’t think you’d feel the same after his past and how he’s treated you.

Ever since Bucky had come back from being blipped he found it difficult to readjust to life yet again. So he did what he always did he threw himself into his work. Avenging became the only thing he did day in and day out. He had met you during a meeting when you were introduced as the newest Avenger. You were all bright and bubbly towards everyone even him.

Naturally he avoided you not wanting to taint the sunshine that shined from within. But despite him being a dick to you, you still smiled at him during training, said good morning whenever you saw him in the mornings. You were just always sweet to him for some reason even though he had never shown you kindness. Well that was until six months ago when one day you were just as bitchy to him as he was you.

For some reason that hurt Bucky more than he thought possible. He didn’t think he would miss your sunshiny attitude until it was gone. The two of you started fighting amend arguing over everything for the past six months. The entire team was annoyed by the sudden escalation in you and Bucky’s relationship. Normally he would just be cold to you and that was it. But now you’ve started fighting back which was a surprise to everyone since you were normally so quiet. Bucky missed the ray of sunshine you used to be but he also didn’t want to taint you with his presence.

But nevertheless Bucky kept up his whole thing of messing with you and you started being bitchy right back, which was why the two of you were forced into therapy together.

“Go tell her how you feel James, That’s youre homework for the week” Dr.Raynor said breaking Bucky out of his thoughts.

“And if i dont?” He pushed tilting his head. The woman looked at him then sighed.

“If you dont ill make sure you and Peter are assigned on the same missions for six months” She threatened and Bucky’s eyes widened at the thought of being stuck with parker on missions.

“Okay okay no need to do all that” He said standing up and putting his hands up in defeat. The older woman laughed to herself as she watched Bucky walk out her office.

Bucky had left the office to go and find you but had no luck. He had looked for you in all of your normal spots kitchen, living room, game room, your room but you weren’t there. It wasnt until he decided to check the training room that he had found you. You were at the punching bags hitting them as hard as you could to get out your anger.

“Y/n?” He said softly as he approached you carefully not wanting to startle you. You had turned around to face him with your chest heaving and your face sweaty.

“What Bucky?” Your voice dripped with venom as you spoke. Bucky had ran his hand through his hair sighing a little.

“Look i just wanted to say im sorry” He said and you looked for any hints of sarcasm or anything in his eyes but found none.

“I’m sorry im gonna need you to repeat that” You brought a hand to your ear acting like you didn’t hear him.

“I’m sorry for being an asshole. I never meant to hurt youre feelings doll” Bucky repeated but this time adding in a nickname that made your heart race.

“i-its okay” You stutter out not really fathoming the fact that Bucky is apologizing or that fact that he used a nickname to address you instead of an insult.

“No its not- i-i just dont know how to handle my emotions properly and i took it out on you when i shouldn’t have” His hands didn’t their way to your hips as he speaks. Your eyes go to his wands on your waist and then back up to him.

“It’s okay Bucky i get it” You say as your hands find their way to his shoulders. Bucky’s flesh hand moved to cup your face as he looked into your eyes making you melt. He slowly rubs his thumb against your cheek making you smile and lean into his touch.

“Why are you being so nice all of a sudden?” The question comes out shaky when you speak.

“Because it wasnt until you said that you hated me that i realized i fucked up and treated the one person who has never looked at me like a monster like shit. And i couldn’t stand the thought of you hating me.” He said honestly and for the first time you could see genuine emotion in his eyes.

“And whys that?” You ask stepping a little closer to him with a small smile.

“Because im in love with you” Bucky admits bringing you into a passionate kiss. You wrap your arms around his neck and deepen the kiss earning a small groan from him. The two of you get so wrapped up in each other you forget to come up for air.

“I-I love you too” You admit after you catch your breath making him smile. Bucky then picks you up and you wrap your legs around his waist. He then carries you out of the training room and takes you to his.

When he brings you back to his room he lays you down on the bed before getting on top of you. He slots himself between your legs as he brings you in for another heated kiss. You moan into the kiss as you feel his hands roam all over your body. Bucky’s hands find the hem of your shorts and pull them down your thighs not breaking the kiss.

“Please” You whisper against his lips feeling his metal hand graze your dripping core. He sits on his knees and takes off you shirt then bra before sucking on your nipple. You throw your head back in pleasure letting out a moan.

“Oh fuck” Bucky takes his metal hand and finds his way in your panties and starts playing with your clit. “Yes daddy” You whimper breathlessly feeling the cool metal come into contact with your heat.

“Oh you like that kotenok?’ He asks after he releases your nipple with a pop. You nod your head and whisper a ‘Yes’ and start bucking your hips against his hand.

“Please please fuck me” You beg moving your hand down to his clothed crotch.

“So needy” He mocks unbuckling his belt and drops his pants on the floor before taking off his boxers and shirt. Once he’s fully naked in front of you, you cant help but stare at his reddened cock standing at attention for you.

You sit up so you come face to face with the red tip and wrap your hand around the base of his cock. His eyes go wide and his breath catches in his throat when you lick the pre cum off his slit.

“So good” You whisper before you hollow out your cheeks and take him into your mouth. His hands instantly find their way into your hair trying to resist fucking your throat. You tap his thigh letting him know he can use you as he pleases.

Bucky then grips onto your hair tighter and starts to thrust into your throat. “Fuck kotenok” He whines feeling your tongue graze the vein of his cock. You open your throat as much as you can so you can fully take him and sink down to the base of his cock.

“Fuck- i-im gonna cum if you keep doing that” He grunts feeling your throat open and close around him. His thrusts gets sloppy as he feels himself about to finish. He abruptly stops thrusting and pulls himself out of your throat making you whine.

“As much as id love to make you swallow id much rather breed that pretty pussy” Bucky says wiping the drool off your chin making you nod your head. You quickly get on all fours in front of him and wiggle your ass making him smack it.

“Yes daddy” You moan in delight feeling his metal hand come into contact with your soft skin. Bucky smirks and smacks the other cheek making you moan happily.

“You like that baby?” He coos rubbing the red marks he’s left making you shiver.

“Mhm” You nod backing your ass up against his cock. He takes the sign and slowly eases himself into you before bottoming out.

“So tight” He groans pulling out then thrusting back in. You scream in delight feeling his thick cock stretch you out. You weren’t a virgin in the slightest but Bucky had definitely been the biggest you’d ever taken.

“S-So big daddy” The words come out broken as you feel his tip kiss your g-spot.

“You can take it baby. Take daddy’s cock be a good girl and take it so i can fill you up. Would you like that? Do you want me to breed you and make you a mommy?” He asks wrapping his metal arm around your neck bringing you up to get a new angle.

“OH FUCK YES” You scream at the new angle feeling him in a new way. The thought of Bucky breeding you makes your eyes roll back and your brain go fuzzy. “Please-please fill me up daddy” You bed as his thrusts get harder.

“Oh i will kotenok dont worry” He says squeezing his hand a little around your neck. You never thought in a million years you’d have all your fantasies come true but fuck were you loving it.

“G-Gonna cum daddy… can i cum?” The question is choked out making Bucky smile.

“Yes baby cum for me im right behind you” He said and that’s when the coil in your stomach snapped and you came all over him. Feeling your warm walls clench down on him sent him over the edge, and he wrapped his flesh at around your stomach holding you close as he came. Bucky’s thrusts slowed down as he fucked his cum into you ensuring none would leak out.

“Fuck baby” He groaned in your ear giving you kisses up and down your neck and collarbone. “You did so good kotenok” Bucky praised slowly pulling out but still holding you close. Once he pulled out he laid you against the pillows and settled in between your legs again.

“T-Thank you daddy” You said in a fucked out haze trying to catch your breath. Bucky kisses from your chest down to your thighs and then settles his face in front of your pussy. He spreads your wet folds with his flesh hand before leaving a kiss on your clit.

‘Too sensitive daddy-cant-please-“ You protest trying to close your thighs but failing as he holds them apart.

“Just wanna taste you baby” He whispers giving your thigh a kiss. Not trusting your voice you opt your nodding and letting him do what he wants.

He slowly licks a stipe from your hole to clit making you whimper and cry out. Bucky groans at the way you taste and starts eating you like a man starved. His lips wrap around you clit and starts sucking lightly making you claw at his back.

“Yes yes yes” You chant feeling another orgasm about to rip through you. He picks up the pace and starts sloppily eating your pussy making you feel like never before.

“Gonna cum!” You scream arching your back off his bed and gripping the sheets as you finish on his tongue. Bucky groans in satisfaction and licks you clean before bringing you into a messy kiss.

“So fucking good” He praised after he broke the kiss. You smiled at him and feel back against the pillows in a haze. You felt the bed dip and you saw Bucky walk into the bathroom and grab a wet cloth. He came back to the bed and cleaned you up while telling you how good you did.

“You’re so perfect” He whispered in your ear laying down next to you. You crawled over to him and laid your head on his chest looking up at his pretty blue eyes.

“Not too bad yourself” Bucky laughed at your comment bringing you in for a loving kiss. “I could get used to that” You said with a cheeky grin on your face making him roll his eyes in faux annoyance.

“You better because now youre stuck with me” He said giving you a wink. The thought if being ‘stuck’ with him gave you butterflies and make you melt even more into hin.

“I think id be okay with that” You said pretending to think about it making Bucky laugh. He ran his hand through your hair and admired your beauty. In all of his 106 years on this earth he never thought he felt this way about someone. That was until you.. And he’ll be damned if he ever lets you get away again.

~The end~

I do not give permission for my work to be copied or translated on other cites

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Okay here's one. I really dont think I'm the asshole but my ex sure does.

AITA for refusing to buy my partner a jar of pickles?

So this story has like, a little background and some confounding factors i think but i really could go both ways on whether i was the asshole.

Ill start with both my ex (21nb) and i (23f) had severe mental health issues and were working on treatment when we were together. Theyd been in and out of inpatient stays throughout our three year relationship. Towards the Day of Pickles, i had my first inpatient stay where i got help i desperately needed to keep myself safe. This happened to be about a week after my 23rd birthday, but about two and a half weeks before their 21st birthday.

Anyway, at that time i had just gotten out of the hospital and started a new job at Joanns Fabrics (i outlived that retail fucker and im proud of it). I had been unemployed for the previous year and a half because of the pandemic and so the retail job was really my saving grace to have some sort of income to buy gas and groceries. My parents let me live rent free with them in their basement but i spent a LOT of time essentially squatting at my ex's dorm because my situation with my parents was not great.

Now my ex was also being financially abused by their mom so they had a monthly "allowance" of 200$ (of their own money they made at their on campus job) and no access to their bank statements. So i spent a lot of my own money on gas and groceries for both of us, and anything we wanted to do for fun, like visit the city. Without an income, this was SUPER stressful for me and i spiraled pretty hard with feelings of worthlessness and hopelessness. Supporting two people, even minimal living expenses, on an income of exactly 0$ is the WORST.

Anyway, i got out of the hospital and pretty much immediately went back to picking up as many shifts as i could at work because id been on staff for all of two weeks before hospitalization. Knowing retail, i was probably on the precipice of losing hours or being fired altogether.

My ex wanted me to take time off to celebrate their 21st birthday (they didnt celebrate my birthday that year) and travel to see their family and drink etc. I got scheduled for an inconvenient time. I would have to miss their birthday if i didnt find someone to cover. I managed to switch shifts with another coworker who was nice enough to let me have her morning shift, so i was able to at least travel separately and be a little late to dinner.

The night of their birthday my ex wanted to get drunk and so we went to the liquor store. Now im generally pretty picky about alcohol but if i get anything special i always get enough to share. Mysteriously, no one ever offers to share the expense or pay me back. So with all of 150$ in my account, i purchased enough alcohol for myself and the rest of the party, and a bottle of (cheap af) liquor for myself. I was broke af until my next paycheck and was pretty much planning on giving up meals and staying at home because the commute to work was shorter and meant less gas.

My ex picked out a jar of boozy pickles and asked if i would get it for them for their birthday. I should note that with all the stress i was under i had found a birthday present for them but hadnt actually placed the order (was waiting to get paid). I also didnt lie to them about this and had told them that i hadnt gotten their birthday present yet. They were upset by this and told me they felt like i didnt care about them, to which i snapped and raised my voice a little.

I gave them a bit of a reality check. I told them in no uncertain terms that i was under a lot of stress, from nearly killing myself to being flat broke with little to no help from my family other than a conditional roof over my head, ordering their birthday present wasnt super high on my list of things to do and that i knew what i was going to get them and that i intended to order it as soon as i had the money to do so. After years of the sole attention being focused on keeping them alive, i needed some support and acting like i didnt care completely ignored EVERYTHING i did to keep us both afloat.They cried and played the victim as they tended to do and i was too stressed to do anything but be angry.

So when they asked for the pickles i told them no. I have NOTHING left in my bank account, and anything that was in my account was already allocated for something else.

They told me i was being selfish for buying myself alcohol on THEIR birthday, not even getting them a present, yelling at them, and then refusing to buy the one thing they asked for, especially after i refused to take off work the day before to hang out with them and their family. In front of our friends.

I told them that i was purchasing the alcohol for the whole party, that the present had slipped my mind, and that they were accusing me of not caring about them when i snapped. Then i walked out.

My bff went outside to help me cool down and i told him what was going on and how stressed i was and he said that he agreed with me, it was childish to expect me to pay for everything with no help from anyone and then act like im unreasonable for having to put limits on what i can purchase.

My ex ended up getting so pissed by all of this they broke up with me two days later, saying that their birthday was the final straw for them after I'd been so codependent and relying on them too much to survive.

I think its all ridiculous given all of the stress factors i was dealing with at the time. I feel like we're all entitled to the occasional emotional outburst/bouts of forgetfulness when we're stressed. But my ex seems to think im a selfish asshole. We've been no contact for the last two years so this isnt like a pressing concern or anything but it does make me roll my eyes occasionally.

So tumblr, aita?

(Btw im also much more financially stable now that I'm fully and properly medicated and away from them.)

[zirobitches]

One Piece: Soulmate AU

Always in this twilight - Crocodile x GN!Reader

Summary: Soulmates are incapable of hurting each other. As a pirate, this leads to some tragic moments midst battles. You thought you were prepared for when it might happen to you, but damn you were wrong.

Gn! Reader, Angst no comfort, no beta we die like Roger, Reader is Croc's First Mate and a former Roger pirate (Shanks/Buggy's age) but it doesnt really matter, also former slave background, congrats you are now in the place of my self insert OC, no promises on not being cringe this is literally a /reader fic, also had to make a fake crew bc we dont know enough crocs backstory HAND IT OVER ODA

Word count: 4500+

Also first fic on tumblr, idk what im doing here, lmk ur opinions. It is now 2:03am and i have class at 10:30. Might have to skip lmao

EDITS: grammar check lol. also cross posted it on ao3 - same name as my blog

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Soulmates weren't as common as you'd might assume when you first hear about it. There's an easy way to prove someone is your soulmate, but when that method is to harm them, well, it doesn't make it easy to find that person. And society gets a bit weird when you know your soulmate is out there.

you've known that some people carry around little needles to poke into strangers hoping to find the one. But that was in decent society; among pirates you more often heard tales of bullets suddenly dropping to the ground after they hit their target, or swords stopping on someone's skin as though it just hit steel. A battlefield is a hell of a place to meet the person fate had decided for you, but for pirates it had become a norm.

Not that long ago, some genius named Vegapunk did a study on how many people meet their soulmate - 1 in a 100. And that's just how many people find them. It never accounts for how many actually happily end up together. You had chosen to live your life as a pirate, so a happy ending with your supposed soulmate wasn't something you foresaw in your future.

You were always grateful most of your current crew felt the same. There was a small group among pirates that were always on the lookout to find their soulmate and then immediately retire. Your crew however like to joke that if they found them in battle, they would move out of the way so someone else could finish them off. It was a grim reality, but it was your reality.

However, on nights like these where you drank the night away, some romantic always had to bring it up.

"C'mon, did old Roger really make you so cold hearted that you don't believe in true love?"

"Pfft, you're fucking joking right?" You scoffed back. You always argued with Tink about this, but you understood your young navigator still had hope. Too bad you were the pessimist of the crew.

"It's not that I don't believe in true love," you continued. "Soulmates are real, I don't really see another explanation for not being able to harm only one other person in the world. But why limit yourself to waiting for a person you might never meet? So many are denying themselves to fall in love with someone else and then end up dying alone because they never found their soulmate."

Tink pouted in front of you. This was a tired conversation, one that was repeated every few weeks much to the chagrin of your other crewmates. But a controversial topic was always a great topic for a group such as yourselves.

"I'm not denying myself the chance to fall in love! I'm denying ever feeling heartbroken over someone who doesn't matter!" Tink tried to argue back, but you just groaned in response.

"And if you never meet the one? You'll just live and die without ever letting yourself even get a taste of what it is you're chasing." Tink glared, knowing it was futile to keep going, but the pink of her cheeks told you that the grog in her system was trying to get her to keep fighting.

It was then that a familiar tall figure caught your eye. There was your beloved captain Crocodile, trying to sneak behind everyone's back to grab another bottle for himself.

Crocodile was never much one for festivities, at least not one 'undeserved' as he might put it. While there was no battle won to celebrate, the night sky was clear and the waters calm; in the Grand Line, shouldn't that be enough to be happy about?

However tonight you weren't going to let him sneak booze and hide from the crew.

"Cap'n!" Apparently the grog was getting to you as well. "Come over here and help me crush Tink's dream of a soulmate!" You laughed as Tink gasped at your audacity. The rest of your company seemed more or less happy with how the night was going, but your captain was still less than enthused to join.

"If this is the same soulmate debate you've been going on about for the past 3 years, I will pass again. You already know my feelings on the matter." Crocodile's deep voice reverberated across the deck of the ship. Even if he wasn't giving orders, he still commanded the attention of everyone within earshot.

He gave a long drag of the bottle in his hand, and then turned to walk away. However you felt it was your duty as first mate to pester your captain into spending casual time with his crew.

"I may know your opinion, but would you be so kind and gracious to remind the rest of the crew? Perhaps?" You called out to the dark coat trying to run from the party, and saw him pause, then turn to walk back.

You could see some of the newer additions to the crew cower. You didn't blame them, Crocodile was an imposing figure, and was developing a infamous reputation as a pirate on the Grand Line. But he was your captain, and he would never hurt his crew, this you knew.

"If I ever met my soulmate," Crocodile began, "I assume it would be when I attempt to kill them." He took another sip from his bottle. This was one of the rare moments he was not puffing a cigar you suddenly realize. It made his face look younger, as though he was actually a man in his 20s as he claimed he was.

As though he knew you were thinking of him, Crocodile made eye contact with you. "When I realize I can't kill them, I'll call out for you." You felt your heart skip a beat. "Then you can finish them for me."

It was purely the grog's fault for making your face warm. The lack of a sea breeze was also suddenly apparent. But you couldn't be flustered, not when you were the one who asked for this answer.

You smiled, doing your best to brush off the tension. You were still maintaining eye contact with him after all. "Well there you have it. Not exactly the opinion I remember, but I hope I can live up to your expectations, Cap'n."

Crocodile nodded, then told you all to start to sober up or get to bed. "I don't need a crew of drunks on the Grand Line, or else we will never make it to the New World."

Your crew began to disperse and you went below deck to your cabin. You really hadn't had much to drink that night, yet your chest felt tight.

You thought you had learned your lesson, but no. Even after promising yourself you wouldn't, you became attached to your crew. Even after your last one fell apart. Even after you watched your first captain, your savior, be executed, you fucked up and dove straight into a different crew expecting it to be different.

You laid down in your bed, staring at the ceiling, the world slightly spinning. Suddenly all you can think about is when you met Croc.

-

It was little more than 3 years ago now, wasn't it? A whole 3 years since Roger died. The weight is still heavy in your chest, but not nearly as devastating as it was in Logue Town that day. You were a wreck, physically and emotionally.

After watching the execution, you were too heartbroken to join the others in pursuit of the One Piece. Your world has just officially ended, the crew was technically already disbanded, but now there was no hope of getting it back.

You ended up in some local bar. No one recognized you, and in the haze of all the excitement following Roger's death, why would they? You had just been some nobody apprentice who happened to stick on his ship after Roger saved your life.

But your sorrow did catch someone's eye.

You sat at the counter of this dive bar in Logue Town, mindlessly stirring whatever number drink sat in front of you now. You had run out of tears, and sat stuck in some frozen state of grief.

However, this sad portrait of yourself did not seem to deter someone from sitting next to you.

You paid them no mind, just staring into empty space, not enough energy to even remember you were still alive.

"You were a member of the Pirate King's crew weren't you?"

A deep voice rattled from the stranger, but it was his words that really caught your attention.

"How'd you figure?" You had paused your stirring at first, but now focused on your drink to avoid eye contact. You were a mess, you could feel your puffy eyes, and were still sniffling every so often.

"There's no reason anyone in this town should be sad that someone like him died. So, you must have known him, right?" The deep voice continued, and you could feel their eyes staring, but didn't have the strength to meet them.

"Well, you caught me. Going to take me in and see if you can get a reward? I'm afraid you won't find any posters of me though. I tended to get lost in the crowd, you could say." After that statement you finally grasped the glass in front of you and decided to knock back what was left. If this was the end of your little pirating career, so be it. It can die with Roger.

"Will you join my crew?"

Your head snapped up at that, and you finally looked up at the stranger.

Long black hair was slicked back to show all the sharp features of the man's face. A strong square jaw, a prominent, perfect nose, and pale, piercing eyes, hooded by thin black eyebrows. Undoubtedly, even in your drunken haze, you were sure sober you would agree the man was handsome.

After a moment to take in this stranger all you could manage was a "Excuse me?"

He smiled - no, smirked - and pulled a cigar out from his coat. "I could use someone with your experience on my crew." He carried on, as if you were discussing the weather outside. He lit the cigar with a lighter you hadn't noticed him pull out. Perhaps it was the booze, but looking at this guy, he almost seemed… fuzzy, around the edges.

"Having someone who once worked for the Pirate King should help me become the next Pirate King."

The stranger took a long drag from his cigar, then exhaled over the counter. You didn't know where the barkeep was now, but at the moment, it felt like you and him were the only people in the building.

You should be mad. Enraged at the audacity of someone to come up to you on the worst day of your life, and to ask you to work for them. But you felt nothing.

No. That wasn't right. You did feel something.

You chuckled. Giggled even. A small laugh that built up till you were laughing, nearly hysterically. You hadn't felt like this sort of light headed elation in a long time, and it was nice.

After taking a moment to catch your breath you finally looked back at the stranger. He didn't look upset at your reaction. He just kept smoking his cigar, waiting for an answer.

"I'm afraid I didn't catch your name."

"I am Sir Crocodile, captain of the Neverland Pirates."

"Hmmm. Well, Sir Crocodile, I can tell you now that you have no chance of being Pirate King." You smirked back at him, propping your head up on your hand as you leaned against the counter.

This response still didn't bother the man. If anything, you swore he almost seemed… satisfied by your answer. Perhaps he knows what's coming next.

"I can help you out on the Grand Line and maybe help you get to the New World, but I promise," you leaned in towards this captain, staring him down. "You will never be the man Roger was. No one will."

Yet Crocodile was unperturbed.

"So you'll join my crew?"

You leaned back and reassessed your empty glass. You cast a quick glance at the bar and then back at the other pirate.

"Sure. I don't have anything better to do anyways."

-

You thought back in Logue Town you could never feel the same way about Crocodile's crew that you felt with Roger's, but you were always the fool. Now you are attached.

Now you need a reason to leave.

You couldn't waste your time or your heart with them. You had already died once with Roger, and if you stayed any longer you know you could never leave alive. You got up from bed - still plenty tipsy you swayed over - to your dresser.

Middle drawer, back left, underneath some no longer worn t-shirts was a small box. You opened it.

There were several small scraps of paper. Vivre cards.

As a child on Roger's boat, you were ecstatic to learn about vivre cards. A simple way to know the people you loved were alive and safe, and be able to find their exact location? It was too good to be true.

When you remember the feeling of Roger's paper burning in your hands at his execution, you knew the reality of vivre cards.

Your fingertips gently sorted through the papers you had made for some of Roger's crew. Each had a tiny name written in a corner. Shanks, Buggy, Ray, Gaban, Oden, and a few others of people who had been most important to you.

Maybe you could leave this crew and seek out the others. Rayleigh had always said he would retire at Sabaody, and your crew was bound to get there soon, hopefully in a couple months. The ache in your chest; you missed your old family. This could be the excuse you needed.

With a heavy sigh you closed the box and hid it away again. Sleeping on it would be good. Sleeping away the booze would also be nice.

Maybe then the tears would stop silently slipping down your face.

-

It turns out the excuse of seeing your old crew was unneeded. The news coo was kind enough to drop a reason to leave directly in your lap.

You stared at the newspaper for a long moment. The sinking feeling in your gut still did not go away.

You walked up to the bow where Crocodile was standing. He stared at the horizon as you approached the next island, Water 7.

"Captain."

Crocodile turned to look at you, face neutral, signature cigar in his mouth.

"Morning. The news any good?"

"They want to make you a Warlord."

Your own feelings were swept under the rug as your crewmates overheard. Instantly the deck was buzzing, the news spreading and making the once sleepy, slightly hungover crew come back to life.

"This is perfect!" The helmsman Diat yelled, a grin wide on his face. "Not only do we get the Marines off our back, it's recognition that we are some of the strongest pirates on the Grand Line!"

You would have laughed at him if not for the ice in your chest. Similar celebratory remarks were made all around you, but you didn't have the strength to pretend this was good news to you.

All you could feel was an icy feeling on your back, right where you had a large scar that tore up a long faded tattoo. But time could not get rid of the mark you could never forget about, no matter how much you wanted to.

Amid the spontaneous party you finally turned back to Crocodile. Amidst it all, he was still only looking at you.

Your words were quiet compared to the raucous around you, but your captain heard you just fine.

"If you become a Warlord I'm leaving the crew."

A couple of nearby crew gasped, heads whipped in your direction and murmurs quickly took place of all the yells.

Instantly protests, people yelling your name, yelling their arguments, but it all fell on deaf ears as you stared down your captain.

Tink of all people knew it was futile to argue with you, and turned to the man of the hour. "Captain! You can't just let your first mate leave!"

Before she could continue, Crocodile interjected. "You never planned on making me King of the Pirates, right? So you never planned on staying on this ship anyways."

This evoked even more protests from the crowd. Many of them weren't sure what you two were talking about, and some had begun to yell again.

The sounds were starting to be overwhelming, and this was not a conversation that required the whole crew anyways.

"That's enough from everyone!" You yelled over the cacophony. The crew went quiet. "This is a conversation for me and the captain, the rest of you need to beat it! Do something useful, we will make a port soon."

The crowd was not placated in the least, but it was true the ship would be docked soon, and there were things that needed to be prepared beforehand.

"You heard them. Get back to work." Crocodile finished your command, and the crowd dispersed. You knew they would still be listening, but it didn't stop you.

"I refuse to be part of a crew that works alongside the Marines. If you become a Warlord you automatically become their dog - then you may as well be a dog of the celestial dragons." Your tongue burned even at the mention of the world nobles.

Crocodile took a long drag of his cigar. He looked away from you and sighed an exhale of smoke, then dragged his line of sight back to you.

"I haven't decided yet."

You bristled at this. "Are you suggesting they already offered this to you? And I had to find out through a newspaper?"

Crocodile took yet another drag, and you lost your patience with his nicotine addiction. "Answer me Crocodile."

Your captain sighed through his nose this time, some of the smoke reaching you, a familiar smell after all these years. It once may have been a nice fragrance, knowing your captain was near, but now it blinded you and stoked your anger.

"We are almost to Water 7. Let's save it for there."

-

Tensions were high, especially between you and Crocodile, when your mood worsened when he disappeared while you oversaw the docking. But you docked. You got the crew into a hotel. During this time the crew began splitting into sides, which was not something you had anticipated. But you ignored it all until finally, Crocodile returned and you cornered him into in a room alone with you.

He had no cigar, and you had no drink in hand. It was a painfully sober room.

Crocodile sighed and slumped into an armchair. He dragged his eyes across the room till they met yours. You refused to look away this time, jaw set with determination to stand your ground.

"I don't want to be the Marine's dog," Croc began. "But they offered me a deal."

"The deal that our crimes are excused? Big whoop, as long as we don't get caught it's almost the same."

"No," he sighed, a large ring covered hand dragging down his face in exasperation. "A deal to help take down Whitebeard."

That got you silent. For a moment, as you recalled every time you saw Roger and Whitebeard exchange blows and fight for days on end.

"You? Take down Whitebeard?" You laughed, but it was a dry and bitter thing. "Your bounty is $81 million berries. Your devil fruit is great and all, but it is by no means fight and beat Whitebeard good. Even if Newgate was without his crew, our entire crew would be wiped off the map. You've lost it if you truly believe that this is achieveable."

Crocodile glared from across the room. Not his usual, perpetual glare, but a genuine, freeze you in your tracks ice cold glare.

He stood up, all 8 feet imposing over you as he stalked across the room. "I have let you say plenty of cruel things to me, but this may cross the line."

But you were his first mate and you couldn't fear him if you were supposed to talk sense into him. "Cross the line? I'm not the one who is making deals with the Navy so I can sail us to our deaths at the hands of Whitebeard!" You were yelling now, no, roaring at your foolish headstrong captain.

"If you take that ship and that crew as it is now to the New World to fight Whitebeard and his sons, no one will come back alive!" Your heart was on fire with rage and frozen in fear. Rage at your captain, who is very much overestimating his abilities. Fear for your crewmates who have no idea what sort of danger their captain was going to put them in.

Crocodile was now truly enraged on the same level as you. He sneered down at you as he suddenly grabbed you by the neck - much to your shock. "I wanted you there to see me become the next Pirate King. But if you can't support me for this, one of the biggest moments in my life since I've been a pirate, then I have no need for you anymore."

With his free hand he opened the door that was behind you. A group of Marines walked in with cuffs ready. "To sweeten the deal, what better than to give a former Roger pirate to the Navy?"

You felt all the blood drain from your face, as fear for your own well being finally pierced your heart. You looked up at Crocodile, and you could feel tears begin to creep at the corner of your eyes. "You never fail to surprise me, Captain."

"Well done Sir Crocodile." One of the Marines spoke, and you could tell from their uniform it was a Vice Admiral, though you didn't recognize them.

"A public execution of a Roger's pirate should be a grand way to ring in your instatement as Warlord."

You felt the world slow down around you and felt Crocodile's grip on your neck slip at the Marine's sentencing.

Crocodile began to speak, "That was not what we agreed on," But your ears had begun to ring.

Growing up on the Oro Jackson, you had picked up some neat tricks. You found out you were hopeless with the color of observation haki, but had a special knack for color of arms. Perfect against those darn logia fruit users.

In a blink of an eye you ripped Crocodile's arm away from your neck and you made a mad dash past him. And jumped straight through a window, glass and all.

You could vaguely hear a commotion behind you as Marines ran after you, but it was lost with the ringing in your ears.

You could hear and feel your heartbeat, pounding throughout your body as you ran through the endless alleys and canals of Water 7. You could feel tears pierce through the wind rushing past your face as you ran, desperately with no objective.

All you could think about was the way the heat of Crocodile's hand felt on your neck, the cold metal of the rings that had pressed against your pulse.

Have you ever really touched Crocodile before?

…

You missed him. You didn't understand why. He had just betrayed you - fucking hell, he was just handing you over to the Navy as part of his deal to become a warlord, but god. You wanted to be with him anyways. You're not sure how long you've been in love with him; his sharp eyes, the smell of his cigars, the rings on his hands, but gods above.

You had fallen in love with Crocodile.

In your realization you slowed down. Your legs and lungs burned, you were gasping for air and not just because you had been running.

Has it always been this dark? When did the day leave you behind?

You now stood in some nondescript alley, dimly lit a golden hue by windows that lined it. It was a long alley, each end blocked by canals. How you arrived there you weren't certain. But you weren't alone.

At one end sand had appeared. And from it stepped your dear, awful captain Crocodile. You both stared at each other, both of you panting for breath.

"I didn't want it to be like this." Crocodile's voice cuts through the air to you. You knew you should run. But for some reason you couldn't find the strength.

"I didn't know they would execute you. I imagined they would send you to Impel Down." Crocodile continued to speak. You just stood there and listened as he walked towards you.

As you watched him, there was a strange look on his face. You've seen it before but still didn't know what it meant.

He stopped walking ten feet in front of you. The light was still too dim to see him clearly, but it was fine. You knew his face well enough.

"I won't let the Navy kill you. Not after what the nobles did to you, it feels wrong." You had never told Crocodile what the scar on your back was. It didn't feel like it mattered anymore.

"I think I'll feel better about this if I'm the one who kills you."

You knew this was coming. The second you saw him at the end of the alley. But you agreed with him. If you had to die at someone's hands, you would pick Crocodile over anyone else. Even if it meant he didn't feel the same about you, it didn't matter anymore. You were so tired.

It would be nice to see Roger again.

But then Rayleigh's face flashed in your mind. You still had to pay him a visit. You still had to visit Wano to see Oden. You wanted to see Shanks and Buggy find the One Piece.

You couldn't see Roger just yet.

So, in a sudden scramble, you turned around and ran.

The ground where you had been standing suddenly crumbled. You felt a gasp finally escape your lungs as you realized you almost gave up. But not yet. You had to save your crew too.

Then you finally ran out of luck. The dim light hid a hole in the cobblestones and you fell to the alley ground. You quickly twisted your body just in time to see Crocodile's scythe of sand arc straight towards you.

It hits you right in the chest, and crumbles to dust.

Confused, you run your hands through the sand that has landed on your lap. You're not cut in half - instead you just have sand all over you.

Crocodile change his mind? He was letting you go? Thoughts and heart still racing, you looked up at him.

Oh.

Oh no.

The horror on his face was plain to see - that was supposed to be a killing blow.

But he didn't hurt you.

Your hand jumped to your neck from when he grabbed you earlier. But in retrospect, you had just been shocked by the action, he hadn't harmed you.

Crocodile didn't hurt you.

No.

Crocodile couldn't hurt you.

Because he was your soulmate.

It was the look on his face that hurt you the most. The disgust, anger, horror - this man did not want a soulmate. He did not want you. So why bother sticking around?

You scrambled back to your feet. Even if he couldn't hurt you, the Marines still could.

So, with blurry eyes and a heavy heart, you ran away.

Faintly, you heard a painfully familiar voice call your name, but then all that was left was the wind as you ran.

pt. 2 (if you want, but this might be better as a one shot)

[dystychiphxbia]

☆ - Gym crush! pt 2

It's a fun concept! i thought the first one would get like 5 likes and it got like...90??? IM SO THANKFUL

gn!reader

characters: anri, oliver, shidou

Teieri Anri;

you two meet at the 8am Saturday yoga class

and you just immediately get along!

Anri would complain about her work and would always lend a listening ear to you as well

quickly you realize that you are more excited about seeing Anri than the actual class

but you two just get along so well...could you really have a crush on her?

you ask her if she has any other hobbies and somehow end up agreeing on going on evening walks at least 2 times a week

she rants about Ego fresh out of work, you love seeing that side of her

she's so passionate that you actually start to learn things about football to impress her

and she IS impressed!

the thing is, she loves to spend time with you with as much as you do

she's always smiling so brightly at work before your evening walks, and Ego is so done with her

"Just admit that you like them" "What?! No! We are just friends! Totally!"

but she DOES like you

but you are just her workout buddy...right?

Oliver Aiku;

this man has been shamelessly watching since day 1

doesn't matter what you are doing, he has been watching

unless he's looking or working out with some random girl

which you find ANNOYING

man has to decide if he wants a piece of this or not

it doesn't take him long to approach you the next time he gets rejected by someone

"nice ass" "got anything better to say?"

he's actually nice to talk with sometimes but he's constantly flirting with you

definitely not ashamed to show you that you are his gym crush

asks you for your workout schedule so that he'll always be there at the same time

even if he's flirty and probably after just one thing, he has to admit that you work hard

he's so good at spotting too, you never have to worry about being crushed by the bar, he will save you every time

attempting a pr? he will hype you up like there's no tomorrow

but he's also pushing you to work harder on the days that you dont feel like it

you've started to enjoy your workouts with him...

and you are definitely seeing progress! and he's seeing it too, always making sure to compliment you

you start getting excited to see him whenever you go to the gym

and oliver has realized that he thinks less of getting into your pants, and more about you in general

"y/n said this the other day!" "is that another one of your bitches?" which eventually changes into "stop talking about y/n PLEASE"

yeah he shows you off to his teammates!

he makes sure to invite you to his next football match and he's so happy when you actually come watch

Shidou Ryusei:

he wants to impress you

probably ego lifts and thinks that you will pay more attention to him that way

but ego lifting isn't attractive. you make sure to ignore him every time

but you steal glances at him, and 99% of the time he's already staring at you

also shamelessly looks at your ass

will start fights with anyone who he thinks is looking at you inappropriately, or honestly anyone who he thinks us looking at you in general

in reality he's the only one who's actually looking at you, but NOW the whole gym is looking at you two

flirts with you

started going to the gym everyday so he could learn your schedule, because you wouldn't tell him

always asks you to spot for him even though both of you know that with his weights, you aren't gonna be able to save him

"i'll watch and let you die if you fail this." "ur cute face motivates me so much that i'll get it!"

u eventually warm up to him...he can be nice sometimes

and overall you enjoy the friendly company

maybe you catch yourself immediately looking for him when you walk to the gym...

he just waves at you, telling you to warm up quickly and join him

now if only he stopped fighting anyone and everyone at the gym!

this is not as good as the first one and i was struggling to choose the 3rd character for this 😭 will def do more cause i love thinking of these silly scenarios

[g-xix]

SIDEMEN RANKING: Which of the Sidemen would make the best boyfriend?

ik this was a tag challenge for Beta Squad last year but I thought I'd do this for the Sidemen... Gonna tag @w2soneshots @xxkatxgracexx @chemreacti0n, @anaaye7 and @inevesgf to do this next w their own opinions... but really anyone who sees this can, if you want :)

-----------

7. Tobi -Just such hard red flag vibes i cannot LIE -Sure he's a pretty face n hot n all that... -But the boys always say he's really secretive + ppl never know where he is half the time... Instantly a bit red flaggy -And then also i feel like he'd be one of those hypocritical bf's that want a woman who's completely virginal and saintly, regardless of whether he has been his entire life. 🤐

6. Harry -I said it'd be realistic and im not gna pander to the w2s girlies this time when i dont think it's true to reality 👿 -Because Harry is very much a spontaneous personality -And as a couple, or being in a relationship - it's very much sorta based in working around being partners, atl when it gets more serious -But I feel like Harry's one of them personas that gets motivation to do things very sporadically, and that just means he struggles matching to other people and working around a schedule that agrees with someone else's -And in those unmotivated phases he gets, I fear he would be so negative nancy-ish, like, wouldn't be inspiring anything within you, very demotivating to yourself... Not really a fun person to do things with or be around. Let alone date

5. Ethan -Tbf i have to respect it bc he's had a long term partner now and he's fully living w Faith n has little baby Olive, too... Very respectable, realistic, reliable. -...But. -We've all seen the Growing Paynes podcast clip where him and Faith argue about the fact that Ethan's not gna propose until Faith agrees to take his second name and drop her family surname. -So we know that he wouldn't be able to compromise. -And from SDMN sunday's, we already know he's quite stubborn. -Although, that being said - there's definitely a lot of good that comes with Ethan, iven if he doesn't carry all of the forwards thinking views -Like, he's a very familiy oriented man - which i generally don't like - but the clip that jumps out to me is seeing him tear up on the pod saying about how he gets upset and he doesn't like seeing Faith and Olive getting shittalked by fans. -The genuineness and honesty and raw emotion of that one actually got me respecting Ethan quite a bit. -Also j because he's very in touch with mental health and physical health bc of his fitness journey, I do feel like he would be a very reliable and motivating partner which is quite good from him. Bosh.

4. JJ and Vik, tied for this spot. -They both have equal number of "yeah that's quite good"s and "oh that's not-!"s -Like, one thing that contrasts these two are emotional intellect. -Because JJ I feel like is highly in touch with his emotional side - like, he's had therapy and ik his current gf is a therapist - he definitely understands emotions and would be really uplifting and helpful in times whereby emotionally you're not doing the best and need someone to be a listener or just generally be there for you. -Vik on the other hand...? I feel like Vik has the mindset of a corporate business, in the fact that emotions are really hard for him to register and deal with appropriately sometimes. -Like, i mentioned this on the Crying HC's, Vik is deffo sorta made uncomfortable or rendered a little bit shocked and helpless when confronted with big displays of emotions bc he just doesn't know how to respond n deal with them. -One issue with both of them I can pick up asw, is the fact that they'd be always travelling and busy with their work: JJ with Prime, Misfits and music tours - Vik with business and music, too... Definitely makes the relationship a bit hard when during 8 days of the week, these guys are everywhere but home with you -BUT! It is very worth mentioning that these guys have both had long term relationships which don't just appear out of nowhere. -Vik is so respectful of his wife which I have sm respect for - their wedding was beautiful + even in the SDMN roast when a joke was made about her that felt a bit disrespectful, Vik didn't laugh at it - he fully kept a straight face out of respect for her which I lowkey highkey respect, because it takes balls not to follow the crowd n laugh at that sorta thing when everyone else is -And I mean, JJ also has been dating his gf for like, 7 maybe 8 years??? I don't remember what he said in his vid... But again, clearly shows a lot of commitment to the relationship which I respect! -Only con exclusive to JJ which I can think of, is that he's kinda misogynistic which would 100% reflect in a relationship which is annoying... Liiiiike, all his try not to laughs and content atm just feels very misogyny fuelled and has rly put me off of his JJ Olatunji channel, unfortunately. -But I think overall - JJ and Vik are both relatively equal in terms of who would be better/worse to date

2. Joshuaaaa! -I reckon Josh isn't the most entertaining or handsome or funny or cool or young or funny or young of the lot -... -But I reckon he'd be a great boyfriend -I mean - reoccurring theme - but he's been in a relationship with Freya for 13+ flipping years, if you've voluntarily kept someone with you for that long, something about you has gotta be good. -And he's definitely one of the more/most chill of the boys like, I feel a lot of the other boys are more sorta guarded or sensitive about their partner... But Josh is 100% Freya's hypeman, and the same for Freya to Josh -Like, Josh as a partner would be the most easy life ever - bro always has everything planned and under control CONSTANTLY, never a day of stress with him -Just yes.

Simon miniMINTER -(idk why formatting has switched up on me at the last minute) -But honestly this guy is so much more mature than the rest of the Sidemen it's both lowking shocking and so satisfying to watch -And again, for the final time: Has had a partner for nearly/maybe even 8 years - he deffo just gets it. -Understands compromise, and even in the vlogs with Talia - you can just tell he's become so much less stubborn and accommodating in his life as he's grown and gotten married and wisened up -Speaking of Talia: He's genuinely her biggest supporter. I rmbr watching her music vid Bored, and she was getting loads of hate for it at the time - but Simon was supporting thru n thru on insta, youtube, her lives.... I love that sm for him, he's so gf-oriented, which we love to see. -And also omds he's aging like fiiiiiine wine -Bc the beard and hair atm? Omds pictures from SoccerAid had me lowkey sweating over this GUYYY -And ik that he keeps his relationship off camera quite a bit - but i feel like that is once again a show of maturity from just knowing (having done YouTube for so long) that he wants to keep work and life separate -Which also shows a lot of healthy mindset n thinking which is why I think that yah, Simon is just like, top tier bf material -Scores 100% in looks, likeability and everything else possible

[milgram-tournament]

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 2, Match 3 MAGIC vs. MEME

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for MAGIC:

MAGIC MY BELOVED MAGIC!!! Its one of the best MVs in the entire series, even including T2. Magic is visually stunning and has some fantastic art direction but also is very clever in how it conveys its themes and ideas. Magic doesn't really hide anything from you, not really. It's all symbolic but it Tells You Things. It shows you the abuse, it shows you the cat. There's a fun little relationship going on here where, In Magic. Amane's pain and suffering isn't taken seriously by the people around her and the Audience we are discouraged to take it at face value due to the fictionalized nature of Magic. It's so cool. I'm so fond of the song as well, it's one of the best in the series purely cause of the Layers in it. The implications of this Inability to be good is seeped into Magic. Amane knows this isn't reality, Magic knows it's a show, she watches it at the end. And it's so Sad to me that even in her fictionalized happy world she Cannot be a good girl. It's a standard completely out of reach for her and that idea is just conveyed so well visually.

Im not even talking about the goddamn cat yet- the cat symbolism goes Deep. That cat is HER it has the same wounds Amane has in Purge March. I- I cant talk about the intertextuality of Purge March and Magic here this is Magic propaganda only- I- there's so much good stuff to Magic. I Re watched it over and over again. It has some the Best Writing and Visual Communication in Milgram and I will Die on this Hill.

---

shoutout to magic for having pretty props AND being vague as fuck about the crime! diversity win!

seriously though amane looks SO cute in it! the mv has such a pretty and colorful style and even with that it's able to show the horrors of what amane went through.

adding onto my last point. that scene where the cat is hyperventilating and you see the camera shaking???? that scene where the mascots find amane helping the cat and they're all standing over her? CHILLS. im repeating myself but the fact that they were able to portray the awful things amane went through in a genuinely emotional way while still keeping the cute cartoon look is soo impressive

there are SO many layers to itill the entire cartoony style making it look like a tv show… utilizing the cartoony effects and bright colors to show amane downplaying her own pain… the transformation after she gets punished barely changing anything to show just how manipulated she was from the start… ueueueue

ALSO ALSO ALSO THE SCENE AT THE END WITH AMANE STARING AT THE SCENE? OHHH ITS SO GOOD it adds such a feeling of dread and reminds you on top of this whole thing that all of this is truly horrifying! something is going on here!

this song is so catchy it gets stuck in my head CONSTANTLY

"Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself?" AMANE... UEUEUUEUE

the little ding sound effects in the instrumental?????

amanes voice is ADORABLE

THE INSTRUMENTAL IN THAT PART WHERE SHES HELPING THE CAT HAS THAT GODLY TYPE SOUND YOUD TYPICALLY ASSOCIATE WITH CHURCHES AND STUFF AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT PROPERLY BUT JUST RELISTEN TO IT AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ITS SUCH A NEAT DETAIL

i could go on about this mv for days but i am not a theorist unfortunately. just. magic sweep

Propaganda for MEME:

"MeMe is fantastic because it plays off the audience’s assumptions about Mikoto as a character and tells a “double story”. There’s layers to it and it’s deliberately deceptive in the way it presents the events out of order. Even the instrumentals themselves tell a story. The shift from piano in the second chorus climax is so good - and the way they combine in the last chorus, plus the addition of a violin culminates the song perfectly."

---

"For propaganda: I love meme so much because even the music alone tells as whole story. It goes from heavy metal to calm to heavy metal to calm and that happens a few times and then there’s an epic and creepy intermission with an amazing guitar and a scary of sound of Mikoto’s heavy breathing. And then the psychedelic music and BAM the final chorus. The final chorus of meme just gives me the absolute chills. Like it’s the calmer chorus we see earlier but with epic symphonic metal and an amazing build up and climax like it’s perfectly encapsulates a story through music alone I just love it so much. Also it’s literally called meme lmao."

---

"I could go on about the motifs in MeMe - like identity loss, living and dying, dreaming etc. It's a song, more than with any other character, about the inner self and what hides from the surface. Of the fear that comes with one's identity and place in the world being challenged and crumbling. The intricate designs on the tarot cards have so much depth to them"

[honeii-puff]

So me and my friend had a debate and it made me realize how you can see which characters are favored by the creators by how much of their backstory (how the grew up, what happened before s1, their family lives) we know of them.

For this, im going to be using characters that got introduced in S1, as they have had the most time to be added onto (almost a decade), plus Max as a shoe-in.

This list would be: The Byers(+el), the Wheelers, The Hendersons, the Sinclairs, the Mayfields, and the Harringtons.

The Byers:

Joyce married Lonnie and had Jonathan and Will before separating (I don't remember explicitly why, probably because he was a piece of shit). Jonathan and Will live with Joyce with no visitation from Lonnie, and are very close. Joyce isn't the most stable parent, so Jonathan helps around, kind of co-parenting Will. El grew up in the lab, and we see all the stuff that happens when shes younger, which makes sense since she is the main face of the show, so she's kind of exempt from this list.

The Wheelers:

On the outside, they're seen as the perfect suburban family, but in reality, Karen and Ted are in a loveless marriage, especially proven in s3 when Karen is having a weird relationship with Billy. The Wheeler siblings have a normal sibling dynamic of shouting and a love-hate relationship, with (this mainly applying to Nancy) the pressure of having to hold up the "perfect family" image.

The Mayfields:

Max's mom married Billy's dad when Max was young (I dont know if they mentioned what happened to her dad or if i just forgot), after Billy's mom had died. They lived in California until they were introduced in s2. Billy's dad is physically and verbally abusive, which has influenced Billy's actions towards Max. After Billy's death, we know that Billy's dad left, and that Max's mom isn't in a good mental state, leaving Max to take care of herself while also coping with her brother's death.

Now lets compare that to what we know about the Hendersons, the Sinclairs, and the Harringtons:

The Hendersons:

Dustin's dad isn't in the picture (we dont know why), and his mom likes cats.

The Sinclairs:

Lucas has both of his parents, who are in a loving relationship, and he has his sister Erica, who he has a generic sibling relationship with.

The Harringtons:

Rich background, Steve's parents are never around, but it's never expressed as to what his relationship with them is like. (Ik he wasn't meant to be a main character and he was supposed to die in s1, but its been a decade, they could have added onto it at any time)

We can also see this in how their trauma affects them

El and Will both have similar "im the freak" mindsets, which gives them the struggle of being able to make new friends and expand their circle. They also have a lot of trauma from the upside down, and El unknowingly blocked memories of what happened with 001 due to how traumatic they were.

Mike was bullied his whole life, which does reflect in his character, making him quick to react to situations rather than analysing them before responding. His trauma doesn't come from his family, but from other people he has been around. With both him and Nancy, it is shown that they both struggle with telling people that they care about "I love you" (Nancy with Steve, Mike with El), probably from seeing how "love" affected their parents.

Max's mental health had a steep decline after loosing Billy, and it is explicitly shown and a large part of her character in s4, so that one needs little explanation due to how blatantly obvious it is.

Now, Dustin, Lucas, and Steve have all been dealing with the Upside Down just as long as the others have been (besides Max), and little trauma is shown from it.

Dustin and Lucas were both bullied like Will and Mike were, yet it doesn't seem to actually affect their character like it has for Mike and Will. Both also have their share of events happening with the Upside Down.

Steve did go through a character arc, but we don't see how trauma has affected him, especially since he seems to be the shows punching bag. He got tortured by russians, almost got shot by his ex, has gotten into fight after fight for these kids, and got dragged to the bottom of the lake by his ankles and proceeded to get strangled and attacked by bats.

And none of them seemed to be affected by any of it.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

If there are any other ST characters you want an analysis on, send an ask!

[kuureii]

We all die someday dont we?…

(riko!yuu au)

Yuus 18 in my au

Warnings: Angst, Blood, Gore, No happy ending,

Side note: riko amanai does not belong to me, she belongs to gege akutami and jjk alone, i only use her as a oc claim in my au

———————————————————————

They say you never know when your going to die in life, its either two things: You can grow old or die early. Thats the cycle of life isn’t it?

I knew from the moment i was able to comprehend what my purpose was is that i was nothing but a placeholder or a vessel for someone on the jujutsu society…. Yuu Amanai…the “Star plasma vessel “ for master tengen, he has a reputation for a god-like figure on the jujutsu society.

How unfair.

Is that my true purpose in life..? Just a vessel for him?

I always wanted to see the world..i wanted to see its beauty..i want to see everything it hides.

I wanted to live the life i truly want to live…with misato by my side, gojo and sujuru too… i want to run away from the fate that waits for me..

But not every wish can be granted right?

I died young…the fate that i so wanted to run away from made its choice.

Yuu amanai..age 18.. a shot to the head is the cause of my death…killed by toji fushiguro.

Unfair.

HOW UNFAIR.

Selfish bastards from the jujutsu society rejoiced for my death. Some mourned

I know its Gojo and Suguru.

I know my death affected them.

After all, they were the ones supposed to protect me aren’t they? I dont blame them.

I never did.

They cared for me like im their sister, not a vessel or a placeholder for master tengen, they see me as yuu amanai and fulfilled my last wishes.

I wanted to run away with them

Unfair….

Its so unfair….

WHY IS IT SO UNFAIR..?!

I WANTED TO LIVE.. I WANTED TO GROW OLD..I WANT TO RUN AWAY WITH THEM. IS THIS MY FATE TRULY MEANS TO ME?! TO DIE SO YOUNG AND BE OFFERED TO SOMEONE SO POWERFUL AS A VESSEL??!! ANSWER ME GOD DAMMIT!!!

Somehow, its like the gods pitied me and gave me a chance..they placed my soul into a new world…and made me attend a new school

Night Raven College

A school that worships the villains (Great 7).. Can’t say my journey was quite unique during my time there.. waking up in a coffin and being nearly burnt to death by a raccoon. And also being known as the “magicless prefect” and the only girl in an all-boys school..

Turns out that raccoon became my familiar and soon turned into the closest family member i have in this world.. Grim..oh how i love him..

I made many friends in that school. Ace and Deuce being the closest friends i have..our friendship started rocky but in the end, im happy i met them..

I wasn’t lying when i said my journey was eventful in that world haven’t i?

Somehow people had mental issues in this school. And being the magicless prefect i am, i had no choice but to help them.

Overblot followed by another overblot

The cycle never ends. But in the end i was able to help and become friends with them along the way..

Along the journey i made,i gained a lot of male admirers from this school my friends slowly being some of them

I tried to ignore it seeing as they haven’t had any female contact for once in a while

Besides they look at me like im the prettiest girl they have ever seen

Im pretty I admit, but not that pretty

Why cant they understand that…they’re liking someone who’s originally dead..?

Months pass by as the overblots have somehow reduced in this school, i was finally able to get the rest i deserved..i was finally happy

But that happiness didn’t last long.

The final overblot happend, Much to everyone’s nightmare

The 7th overblot being Malleus draconia.

He put everyone to sleep including me, so i gotta do what i gotta do.

I have to fix it.

To my suprise, i found out a lot about malleus.His past, his secrets,his origins, his mother, everything about him.

After a while with the help of sebek and silver, i was able to snap him back to reality.. i saved someone again.

I saved everyone again. I was finally able to wake up everyone, I was finally able to wake up again.

wait….

What…?!

Why cant i..!

Why cant i wake up…!?

This is bad…did my fate caught up again..?!

Am i dead too in this world…??!

UNFAIR…!

ITS SO UNFAIR..!

JUST WHEN I THOUGHT I CAN FINALLY HAVE THE LIFE I WANTED..!!

NO..!! WAKE UP…!

I NEED TO…

I…!!

I WANT TO LIVE..!!

PLEASE..!

LET ME LIVE..!

ONCE AGAIN..! PLEASE ILL BE GOOD..! I WANT TO STAY!

My pleas went deaf to the ears of the gods.. i sobbed as the darkness finally ate my body whole..

I wasnt….able to…say goodbye…Again.

Soon enough the darkness flooded my senses, enveloping my soul whole, like a blanket of despair and sadness…my soul sinked onto the abyss once again…killing me entirely.

Yuu amanai..dead at 18 reborn onto another world as a second chance..died once again at age 19. Closed eyes like she was sleeping but this time.. She wont be waking up ever again as her soul passes away at an eternal slumber.

“Good night yuu..its time for you to rest”..a voice whispered so sweetly at her ear as she took her last final breath in the world of twisted wonderland

———————————————————————-

[mothhuuny]

hi good evening its about 11pm and im having thoughts about sinclair again so im typing them out

i think a lot of people see demian as like... the good ending/ultimate goal for sinclair, and while he is in a lot of ways, i dont think that's ultimately his role. i think there's a certain disconnect between demian and sinclair that needs to be acknowledged before either of them can really reach each other.

im pretty sure we all know about kromer's themes of nurture, with how much she wants to raise sinclair and mold him into her ideal, but i think we should talk about demian's themes of nature/absence. if kromer is an ever present figure, then demian is the opposite. he's pretty much completely absent from sinclair's story. in fact, it could be argued that there would be little loss if demian was entirely removed from sinclair's flashbacks, despite his significance to sinclair. demian wants to see sinclair blossom in his pure, unaltered state, but he fails to account for the fact that there truly is no "unaltered" state of a being. demian was one of sinclair's closest friends, and one of the people he relied upon the most, and when sinclair arguably needed him the most, he completely vanished.

i think it's because of demian's absence that dante is so important. fundamentally, sinclair's relationships between kromer and demian are unbalanced. he sees both of them as above himself on some subconscious level. however dante, someone who he was able to connect with on a more even level, does not have such an unbalanced relationship with sinclair. while yes, dante is his manager, it's still apparent that their relationship is more of a balanced one, as both are able to take and receive criticism from each other. unlike demian and kromer, dante maintains balance between nurture and nature with sinclair, comforting him while he is down, but not controlling his actions when he's up.

before sinclair and demian can truly connect with each other, a major shift needs to happen in their relationship. otherwise, sinclair will still see himself as below demian and demian will still disconnect himself from sinclair. in general, there is some form of disconnect demian has with reality. this is not to say that he's naive or prejudiced, but rather that he's definitely not as omnipotent as he comes across. much like sinclair, there is still plenty for him to learn as well. people don't just stop growing when they become adults, there is still plenty of change and movement left inside of them, just like any other plant or animal.

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

the thing is - pro prostitution activists (and people who agree with idea) usually never suggest their 'perfect system'. On average, they just scream 'it needs to be legalised and then everything will be great', sometimes you get few ideas on how to protect "sex workers". But you know what? Whenever I do see such discussions and their suggestions, I can easily come up with 3 different scenarios where their rules and laws won't work or just would/can be ignored and women would still be harmed. EVERY TIME. People did and do all kinds of shady stuff, even in highly regulated industries + cool phenomenon called 'corruption'. Do they really think men give a shit about law, especially those who don't see women as human beings (and its all of them)?

The pro 'sex work' discourse is just people using fancy words to state that they don't believe misogyny exists, women are exploited, but most importantly they believe that men's pleasure and need to masturbate (with woman body) are more important than women's feeling and right to be save.

i recently had a very frustrating and saddening exchange with a woman on here who is in prostitution and kept saying the same thing (it should be legal) over and over again and when i told her it is legal in germany and it has not made things better just shifted problems and increased demand she said well but its legal that is definitely better. and you know i myself dont advocate for prostituting oneself to be illegal at all, i think its crazy that 30 % of women incarcerated in the usa where its fully criminalised are prostitutes, but it seems like usual people are only able to grasp the two extremes: full legalisation or full criminalisation. when in reality, abolishing the sex industry is a lengthy and complex process, but you have to start somewhere.

they say, „you wont stop prostitution by criminalising/outlawing it“ but think they can somehow stop the harm of prostitution through legal means, lmao (which also ignores the inherent harm of bought consent compared to freely given consent and knowingly making someone endure sexual acts for money). there has to be a cultural and legal and economic shift and thats a lot. we have to alleviate poverty from women systematically affected by it (single mothers, immigrated women, mentally ill, disabled, addicted women, and so on); this means pulling out the roots of misogyny and we all know this is not in the works. the difference between them and us is, we think a different future is possible if the effort is put in, but they dont. which is so fucking bleak and tells you a lot about how women see their own position in society, and the chances of it getting better.

even if you dont criminalise buying sex, you could still make it more difficult to buy sex. „but then it will move back to the black market“ honey its already there, even here in germany where its legal. so much prostitution is happening invisible, in apartment buildings and deserted areas. we should work towards ways how to reach women in these situations without legalising their abuse. if there was a perfect solution that immediately solved all the issues, we would advocate for it, dont you think? but there is no perfect solution and just accepting men will always use their money to coerce sex is just not something im okay with and we, as a society claiming to want gender equality should be okay with.

why not reverse what we have in germany right now? instead of prostitutes needing to register, its sex buyers who have to register. they need to do regular health checkups. they need to carry their sex buyer id with them or they will get fined. the registry is public because wives, daughters, partners and even your employer should be able to make decisions based on the knowledge that that man is coercing women into sex with his money. most sex buyers are partnered you know. „the government will never do that“ well they sure as hell wont if nobody advocates for it and instead opts for the lazy, superficial „fix“ of legalisation? and also, they say an issue under criminalisation is that prostitutes and other „sex workers“ are hassled by cops. well do tell who will enforce those sacred regulations you want? if it was for them, everybody would just „mind their own business“ and the state does not interfere with the sex industry at all and they somehow think this will protect vulnerable groups?! it doesnt make any fucking sense.

it is really frustrating to me. at the end of the day you have to ask, what is your feminism, if you want to accept, regulate, institutionalise, normalise, legitimise and legalise this form of systemic sexual abuse (because using your money to coerce sexual acts IS abuse of power) at the hands of men instead of working towards a future where we are equal? there is no equality as long as the sex industry exists and profits off and reinforces social inequality, specifically misogyny and racism.

[thegoddessseris]

I dont know if your taking any writing requests rn but from your masterlist can you possibly by chance write about one of twdg characters having an eating disorder? (clem or vi work ^^) im asking bc im currently struggle with an eating disorder (im getting better) and if you dont want to write those i will take no offense to it! Thank you sm!!

ROTTEN FLESH

a twdg one-shot.

Summary: Clementine has trouble eating when suddenly, after being bitten, what she's been through all comes back together.

TW: death, eating disorder, basic twdg stuff. I warn you that it may be difficult to read this, people can be trigged, read at your own responsibility.

World Count: 785

A/N: I tried to express and contextualize it as best I could, I'm sorry if it's not as you imagined. I hope you're fine!

How much we have taken care of our bodies! We washed it, dressed it, looked after it, shaved it, quenched it thirst, fed it. We took it to the tailor, to the doctor, to the surgeon. We identified with this pet. We suffered together with it. With it we shouted, We loved. Of it we say: it is me. And suddenly this illusion collapses. What do we care about our body! We only relegate it to the rank of servant. All it takes is for anger to become a little more evil, for love to become inflamed, for hate to spread, for fear to become a little more present, and the conviction vanishes, with the importance of our body.

Is your partner surrounded by walkers? You will save him! Nobody can stop you. Did they bite you? You don't care.

Leave those shreds of meat as a pledge to anyone who wants them. You thought you cared so much, but instead you realize that's not the case.

The pain in the leg persisted for weeks, but over time it stopped bleeding and healed.

But the pain didn't stop.

That pain remained persistent, it remained in the shadows at the corner of the room, the ghost of my leg that I still seemed to be able to move, in the nightmares that kept me awake at night, in the smell of rotten meat that every food released.

In that feeling in my stomach, like it twisted and my sense of smell screamed every time I had food in front of me. But for some reason, they didn't seem to understand it. They thought I had a medical problem, when in reality it was very clear my mind was playing tricks on me. Lee would know how to help me.

Lee.

I often dream of him, but they are not those sweet dreams in which we are together on the train, but nightmares in which I am forced to see him die repeatedly. To see his conscience abandon his body, and his flesh prepare to rot.

And I think it's because finally, after all these hectic years, At Ericson Boarding School, we stopped and had the time and the chance to catch our breath, it all hit me at once. All the losses. All the pain. All the corpses who had rot.

''you have to eat, Clem.'' Violet repeated to me softly like a mantra. But every time I looked at the plate, I thought I saw that rotten meat, and I couldn't help but want to throw up. That feeling of disgust and hatred I felt when I looked at the rabbit meat on that plate didn't go away, no matter how hard I tried. I might as well stop trying to eat, I just couldn't.

I might as well have starve to death.

A few hours had probably passed, and Violet was sitting with me on my bed, trying in every way to get me to eat something, with little success.

''Clem, what's wrong with you? If you don't eat you won't have the strength to use crutches'' she insisted, looking at me with a worried expression. I only avoided her gaze, with my arms folded on my lap. ''Clem, talk to me''

''you…don't understand'' I replied, closing my eyes. That rotten smell was bothering me, even if it wasn't real.

Maybe it was me who was rotting away, not the food.

''then let me understand!'' said the blond haired girl next to me, in a slightly higher tone of voice. ''Talk to me Clem, please.'' she said in a pleading voice.

''After I was bitten… something in me changed. I thought I would die, that my fate would be the same as… Lee's.'' I said in a small voice, opening my eyes and sighing, still avoiding her gaze which I could clearly feel on me. ''But then AJ saved me. And we had time to rest, to be at peace. And this is what I've been waiting for my whole life, but by taking a break, by stopping running… it all came back at once, and it overwhelmed me.”

''What do you mean?'' she replied in a worried tone, and when I turned to look at her, I could see the concern on her face.

''I remember them all. All the bodies of the one who I loved.. their bodies rotting.'' I said.

''We were children, and we are thrown into a war bigger than us,'' she said softly, putting down the plate she was holding and placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

''And what does that make us?'' I said. This was the only reality I fully experienced.

Not yet corpse,

still, we rot.

If you are having a hard time, or are having trouble with an eating disorder, seek help. Talk to a trusted adult or contact an appropriate helpline in your area. You are not alone.

[shiftingtomydrs]

MLB DR

Alright so same as with some other drs my personal stuff like name and everything is the same soo wont go into that a lot tbh

then backstory, i originally wanted to be like an exchange student in france but then like i cant very well be ladybug if im only there for a year so i switched it to i move to france for some reason i dont know yet and i live there with my aunt or smth bcs she lives near paris yk? then basically i just kinda take marinettes place but not completely, like shes still there and stuff but im there too yk? my love interest is adrien and marinette will get together (and stay together) with luca cos theyre cute and im not sure yet if i should script her crush on adrien out or just say it disappears at some point

changes in plot: i dont like anything after season 2, dont ask me why, i just dont like it idk why either, so im gonna script seasons 3-5 out with some exceptions (e.g. i kinda really like cat blanc so i might leave that in with some other stuff but the whole shadow moth and all that shit no) also lila isnt the next supervillain shes just a regular mean girl cos it doesnt make any frickin sense that a 15 year old is able to manipulate every single person she meets. like shell still be able to lie and manipulate people her age but not adults cos thats just stupid imo. Also i havent even watched season 5 yet so im going off spoilers i saw for the next part: none of the miraculous will have permanent holders except ladybug and chat noir (aka me and adrien) cos i like to be special :) also i wont be guardian of the miraculous until much later like college or smth cos thats a ton of pressure and it went sideways for marinette so i dont want it going sideways for me. oh and a big one: ill be taking the whole sentimonster plot out cos i hate it and i think ive never hated a plot as much as that one. like sentimonsters can exist okay but felix and adrien and kagami etc arent one. cos just no. oh and ofc i wont know adrien is chat noir haha

now a bit more about myself: idk yet if i just wanna kinda steal marinettes interests and do the whole design thing cos i am a sucker for parallels and the parallel of adriens parents and adrinette is there but then again why would i wanna be like gabriel? so i might just do what i do in 90% of my drs and be a songwriter (well ill be that anyway question is do i add the designing part on top or not?), otherwise i like baking, ill do figure skating or gymnastics or ballet prolly like all the things i wanna do here but cant for this or that reason. my nationality will be german prolly cos i like having the german passport and also i dont think i need a visa for france cos its in the eu. i wont really script much more about like me and adrien except that we end up together but in my head its kinda similar to the adrien and marinette situation cos im a sucker for slowburn and idk it just fits i think also with my issues with trusting people have good intentions and not just spend time with me bcs of a bet or shit like that.

Physical looks, i might change my hair color cos idk i think itll fit and yeah but ill still have my eye color and height and stuff just be a bit fitter cos with my endurance theres no way ill be able to be a superhero (ik theres magic and shit but still)

im not sure yet if i should leave the dr as a cartoon or do it like this reality (leaning towards this reality bcs i think cartoon would freak me out a bit for my first shift and id overcomplicate it) or maybe ill just do two drs, one cartoon and one not.

anyway, if you have any questions, id love to talk more about this dr so pls ask them <3

@ningsols here it is :)

[conanssummerchild]

i finally gave in and im making some rick and morty oc's >:))

we have:

Rick Sanchez A-26M

Morty Smith L9-DD

Summer Sanchez X-22 (she changed her surname to sanchez after escaping her dimension. maybe her jerry was abusive or something. in reality i just want her to be summer sanchez. might find a way to make morty morty sanchez too.)

Beth Smith N0T (thats a zero but it is reffered to as dimension not or the not dimension or smth)

Jerry Smith N0T

and they all live on Earth dimension N0T

backstory:

ive never made an oc before literally ever in my life (let alone 5) but im working on the lore rn and maybe sometime this month i'll do character designs but im really busy rn. definitely by the end of summer tho

additional info:

rick has paranoia depression anxiety adhd and autism (but he refuses to go to therapy so most of these arent actually diagnosed, but im literally his creator so i know, with the exception of paranoia (due to his psycotic break he was briefly forced into citadel therapy or whatever) and depression. i dont think he knows about the anxiety/he refuses to acknowledge it and he self medicates his adhd. he knows about the autism) hes also still an alcoholic (like most ricks i think) his beth jerry and summer's whereabouts are unknown (at least until i think of smth better 😭)

morty's rick is dead but when he was alive he was lowkey kinda nice (if overly and unhealthily dependant on morty) so morty misses him dearly :( morty tried to help his rick recover from dianes death and stop him from destroying himself finding rick prime but he couldnt and he blames himself for ricks death, he has a lot of abandonment issues and maybe some ptsd too. hes a bit more prickly than your standard morty until he really gets close to someone, hes less immediately trusting. after his rick died he ran away from home to the citadel, trying to find another rick but after a few years and about 5 ricks he realised it was useless and he would never be able to really replace his rick. his family was assigned another morty after he split and they're fine. he hung around the morty town locos for a while until finding summer x-22

summer's whole family is alive still but she ran away from home due to her jerry being abusive, as i mentioned earlier. she stole ricks portal gun and portalled over to the citadel, but the portal gun was damaged and she couldnt go anywhere else. morty l9-dd found her crying behind the creepy morty and tried to steal her portal gun (bcs the morty town locos fw portal fluid) but she pinned him against a wall and told him she'd slit his throat out if he didnt help her so he agreed. they bonded after that and became pretty much inseparable.

summer confided that she hadnt had a good relationship with her morty bcs he always turned a blind eye to the abuse and excused jerry. morty told her he spent so much time trying to keep his rick from spiralling that he never formed much of a relationship with his summer

when they get to dimension N0T beth and jerry seem perfect but they soon find out that the rick of this dimension was dead of suicide or smth and that beth tried to commit to after his death maybe. beth here is also an alcoholic, like c-131 is and jerry is in charge of keeping up appearances, which is harder once you have 3 new people living in your broken home.

im not sure a lot of this still might change it needs a lot of work

defining traits (both personality and physical):

rick: more quiet, often zones out and seems like hes not even there, but still bitchy when he does talk. when they first get to N0T he barely leaves his room for 2 months and beth keeps panicking bcs shes worried he'll kill himself like her rick. even tho she doesnt know him he looks so much like her rick did (bcs theyre both ricks duh) and its just stirring back up some stuff for her. his hair is a little flatter than c-137. perhaps he has a fringe. maybe he wears a soft wool jumper. je has self harm scars but always wears long sleeves, so theyre not visible

morty: his tones a bit sharper, hes more skeptical of ppl than morty prime is. hates rick prime almost as much as a-26m does. darker yellow t shirt (like the mortys in mortytown) scars across his eye (I KNOW IM NOT ORIGINAL OK i didnt want to put the scar down his lip bcs i didnt want to assosciate him with evil rick and morty, he has nothing to do with them) maybe the scar is across his cheek idk

summer: always a bit on edge, carries a knife on her at all times. incredibly mistrusting of jerry N0T when they got there. still weary of him and doesnt let him get too close. jerry is too tired trying to keep up appearances to really do much to try and ease summers mistrust of him. black tank top instead of pink. hot pink belt on her jeans tho maybe. loose hair bcs a ponytail is too easy to grab, sharp nails, painted pink. bruises on her arms that start to fade in the beginning of her time on the citadel with morty

beth: often out of it or drunk, more so the more time rick morty and summer stay bcs she cares less and less about keeping how shitty shes doing from them. at the beginning she seems like a perfect housewife, or someone putting on a performance of one. looks pretty much the same if not a little more disheveled, in the beginning wears one of those fancy white frilly aprons with a red heart embroidered. drops the apron as she drops the act

jerry: tired, dark circles maybe (rick and morty also have these, summer and jerry wear makeup to cover them, beth and rick have eyebags also) starts wearing the apron when beth stops lol, defeated demeanour, kinda depressed a lot of the time. lonely

anyway a lot of this is probably gonna be changed idkkkk

ooh also how long it took for a bond to form between characters:

rick and morty: about 2-3 months. both desperately missed their old partners which sped it up a bit but morty was scared of getting attached and rick at the start was too out of it most days to really form any kind of connection also he was scared of getting attatched too but for different reasons (morty was scared he'd lose another rick, rick felt like everyone he got close to ended up worse off (diane, his prev morty))

rick and summer: like maybe 5 months, they didnt interact much at first, like i said rick was too out of it and summer didnt really trust rick and saw him as unstable, but as rick grew closer to morty, summer slowly became a little less suspicious and maybe rick helped her with smth and they bonded over that idk

rick and beth: their initial relationship was not healthy, beth trying desperately to prevent rick from killing himself and rick not being willing to work on himself healthily, causing beth great panic and anxiety, but after like 6 months or so they become drinking buddies, still not the healthiest father-daughter relationship but it eases beths mind and makes rick feel less alone

rick and jerry: even after like 10 months living at the smith house rick and jerry dont have much of a relationship, both are too caught up in their own exhaustion to make an effort to bond, may change at some point

morty and summer: started to form a relationship within the first week of meeting eachother, maybe 7 or so months before they encountered rick (i need to make a timeline) probably the strongest relationship of all of these listed

morty and beth: surprisingly quickly, within the first 1 or 2 months, morty misses his mum and he wants to try and help beth a bit

morty and jerry: mutual respect for eachother, morty helps jerry out around the house and with things, started like this after anytime between a few weeks and 2 months

summer and beth: 4 months, took a while but eventually they formed a bond, its easier for summer to relax around beth and beth likes having a daughter

summer and jerry: still distrust after 10 months, will likely take a long time for any kind of relationship to form, no matter how minor

beth and jerry: pre established relationship obviously but its not a very good or happy one, maybe after 9 months they start trying to work on it again

[stupidrant]

i'm gonna be honest here, i just want to let it out there that i don't think it's entirely fair to judge thrud so harshly for being a product of her enviroment or her mistakes :( i can also point fingers at atreus for his poor decision making and acting out, but that would be stupid to do because he is after all a 14 year old kid. thrud is approximately same age as atreus and angrboda.

and i just realized just like jotunheim was angrboda's whole life and not being able to meet people her age, that's how it was for thrud while growing up in a toxic asgardian home with weird & down right mean family members. like whatever bullshit she saw and heard, all of it was a norm to her. we might not care, but the truth is that asgard was her entire world. her dad, however broken and unstable, was her entire world and wanted him to be better. and i would have had a problem if both dealt with their problems the same way or they were the same characters who showed grace, i greatly prefer them being on different ends of the spectrums so there's more room to develop their traits and arcs.

from thrud and sif's ending dialogues when they were sitting by the fire - i am sure that this is a kid who is going to shake off the ideology and propaganda they were raised with. she has to. because asgard is gone and she has to face reality in the other realms. and i don't doubt that sif the diplomat is going to keep her in check too!

(i am very sorry for the walls of text in your askbox but i find these discussions so fascinating and healthy, anyways i hope you're having a good day and what song are you listening to these days 💙💙💙 me personally i am in love with cowboy carter these days UGH I LOVE THE SONG TYRANT)

Im sure you know this anon but to anyone who might think otherwise i dont hate thrud so pls dont think that and i dont intend to start anything 😭 i agree she isnt a product of her family and i dont really put anything against her as she's just a kid hence why i think the most likely path she'd go is a self-reflection one rather than a self-deprecating one. Having differences is how atreus became friends with her, angrboda and skjoldr so heres to hoping for her and angie to be atleast acquaintances!

some additional comments about this too: i think the responses to thrud's character isnt completely because of her per-say, but more so because of the "fandom" (outside of here) and how she has a lot of weirdos on her (which isnt her fault either, shes just a character at the end of the day and a lot of those people do too much and it comes off as very disingenuous) and i think as time goes on, more people are gonna see through this and be a little turned off on her which is unfortunate because it should never be that serious and im not gonna let those people override my liking for her, im just pointing out how i see things and how dudebros fuck everything up in their paths. (since the year started i've been listening to more slower tempo songs tbh and i dont have any current favorites atm so imma just say sade - kiss of life for now lol)

[twentysidednerd]

POTENTIAL SPOILERS FOR “I SAW THE TV GLOW”

‼️‼️‼️‼️THIS IS YOUR WARNING TO TURN BACK NOW IF YOU DONT WANT TO BE SPOILED‼️‼️‼️‼️

i’ve been thinking about “i saw the tv glow” ever since i saw it yesterday and all of the layers that were in it. especially since my brain’s been kinda blah since last night

yes, the whole movie is essentially an allegory to being trans and not being able to be yourself. and i LOVE that messaging, don’t get me wrong. i think it’s so important to have that narrative be told. that messaging is literally part of the reason why my friend and i got so emotional when we watched it lmao. i literally started thinking about the scene where owen/isabel tackles maddie/tara on the football field and runs away right before they go through with their plan at the dinner table yesterday and almost cried. how owen/isabel was so close but got too scared and ran away. that happens so much with trans people, myself included, and it just… ugh, it hit home so hard

but so much of it also reminds me of how it feels to deal with maladaptive daydreaming. how owen/isabel wants so badly to run away into the world of “the pink opaque” and be someone else, be someone he wants to be rather than what real life dictates he SHOULD be. when maddie/tara talks about time and reality feeling different and wrong when she’s in this world but feeling better or “normal” when she’s in the world of “the pink opaque”. the image of owen/isabel literally sticking his/her head into the tv screen, so close to that fantasy world, before being pulled away and forced back to this reality sticks with me to this very moment

you want to live in, and stay in, the worlds in your head so badly with MADD. i know i have an issue trying to be present and be a part of reality when the worlds in my head make me feel so much better. i have so much of an issue trying to be there for the people around me and focus on what’s happening but the second i start getting overwhelmed or just have time alone for myself, im right back into the worlds in my head and i would much rather stay there because it feels safer. i feel some semblance of control, of being someone worthwhile. the exact same way maddie/tara would rather be in, and stay in, “the pink opaque” world

that in itself is a coping mechanism for stress! a coping mechanism the stress owen/isabel finds himself/herself in when trying to be who he/she is in a world that doesn’t want him/her to be! the stress from the fear of wanting to come out and be yourself but being forced to conform to what the rest of the world wants! it’s all intertwined! and i love it! this movie just gets better the more i think about it!!

and i love that even though it doesn’t have a happy ending, there’s still a twinge of hope. because there is still time for owen/isabel, just like the chalk on the street says. there are plenty of people who transition later in life. though owen/isabel is struggling badly at the end of the movie, he/she still has time to be who he/she wants to be. who he/she is. it’s not too late. it might be bad at the moment for him/her, but it’s not too late