#but it doesnt make any of them less guilty

[lemonyinks]

I didn't like Mekt much but I do hate seeing him only utilized as a villain, as if Legion Worlds didn't happen.

Where is the Mekt who admitted that he was wrong to let his loneliness and jealousy dictate how he acted? Where is the Mekt that worked to be better? Where is the Mekt who welcomed Ayla home and put himself in harms way to help her save their parents farm? Where is the Mekt that delighted at the idea of seeing Garth again and was sad to hear he wasn't really coming back?

I don't know. Maybe it's just me but Mekt works so much better as a character of redemption and reconciliation than as one who stays bitter and antagonistic. He's more interesting that way

[jacqcrisis]

writing this out to work through being guilt tripped:

yesterday, my aunt from new york was visiting. to see her, i’d have to drive total of two hours round trip. i was having severe gastrointestinal issues yesterday morning, and honestly, i forgot she was coming, and she’s turned into just as much of a hyper conservative christian weirdo as my mom, so I said no to coming down as driving while nauseous and in pretty bad stomach pain only to be be interrogated over my appearance, life, and politics sounded like the worst time possible. 

my mom calls me this morning to as why i didn’t drive down. i told her the ways i was sick. what comes next is ten minutes of her saying how hurt she is me and my brother never want to see her family yet we make all this time for dad’s side, and why don’t we want to see her family and etc etc etc. So despite feeling like shit, despite not wanting to see her family at all because they’re all mostly awful, and despite not wanting to speak to her specifically, I’m still sitting here feeling guilty as fuck. 

Why? Why should I feel guilty? I don’t like these people (other than my aunt who I do but she’s said some things that have given me a familial form of the ick) and if they weren’t blood related, I wouldn’t give them the time of day, and yet just a few minutes of my mom whining about how I’m not spending time with her family and how much that ‘hurts her’ makes me feel like I kicked her dogs.

[strawberri-syrup]

taking care of my friends chickens was fun for the first 2 days and now suddenly almost half of them are dead and there is a racoon staring me down and i am oh so scared

[yandere-sins]

Ivyyyyyyyy >.< you're the worsttttt(read: BEST) oh my god the thoughts im having abt dilic with a period kink rn. Gawd and he doesn't even know it's a period kink, he thinks it's absolutely normal to do nasty things with his girl while she's bleeding out and feels proud about it that HE can take her pain away

OMG continuing the diluc saga but yan dilic thinks darling's period is the perfect opportunity to finally put his hands on darling. He knows you're in pain so he promises, he's doing this for YOU not him (lies) he'll ease it in gently and make it feel good! Soon darling will forget all about those cramps bc of him him him! He doesnt need to feel as guilty bc he's helping you out.....right? OMG PLS write something abt thissss, it can be any yandere or oc but im going crazy after what u saiddd

Hehe, you're welcome! I began writing this as just a talk, but decided mid-way through to make it a scenario!

a/n: I wrote this before my hiatus and coming back to correct it, I found so many mistakes, it doesn't even feel like I wrote this smh... I did my best to polish it a bit since I can't see myself rewriting it in the future but if you find anything oddly worded just ignore it lol I wasn't myself back then :')

[Warning: Yandere, Sexual Content]

I can just see the cock cogs turning in this idiot's head as he racks his brain about how he can help you. Clearly, you're in pain, but no matter how many more times he calls a physician to have a look, they just keep waving off his concerns. It's normal, they say. You're healthy. That's what everyone has to go through.

And yet he sees you writhing and crying in pain—it's breaking his heart!

Pillow pressed to your stomach, tears in your eyes that you can't blink away fast enough before they fall. You're especially irritable, but it hurts him more when you whine and complain; Diluc wanting to help you now more than ever. He's already gone through the usual stuff, the imported water bottles from Snezhnaya and the chocolate from Fontaine. If you utter so much as a craving, he has the servants scramble to get it to you. Nothing is too expensive or too hard to get. You could have asked for the heads of your enemies, and Diluc would have brought them to you with ribbons and glitter if that had helped with your pains.

But alas, it doesn't.

It's been three days, and his nerves are raw, the bags under his eyes dark, and the burden of your health weighs heavily on Diluc. He can't see how things will ever get better. The other times you were on your period were conveniently skipped by business trips, so this is hitting him full force.

"Exercising might help," one of the maids suggests as he forces himself to consult someone more knowledgeable than him.

"Sometimes, my wife likes a little stimulation to alleviate the pain," a vintner chuckles, winking at Diluc as the word of his helplessness spreads. And suddenly, inappropriate ideas get stuck in his head, making him blush like a young lad in love.

»»———————— ♡ ————————««

Taking a deep breath, Diluc raised his hand to knock on your bedroom door. It was terribly late, the servants asleep and only the eery flickering of his candle guiding him through the night. Most likely, you were tugged in and fighting for your well-deserved sleep, so he hesitated, fist hanging in the air before slowly dropping it to his side.

What he was about to do was not only foolish but also filled him with the same burning in his body as using his vision did. He could feel the warmth sweep over him from his head to his toes, the latter curling in his shoes while most of the heat was throbbing between his legs, aching to connect with your warmth in a less-than-innocent way.

However, these feelings were nothing compared to the agony of the last few days.

If this was what he had to do to help you alleviate the pain, he would. If it was for you, Diluc would do anything in his power, whether to protect or help you. If he had to become a mere plaything so you'd be freed of the pain, then his concerns were a small sacrifice for all the good he was going to do.

Brushing his hair back, Diluc took a deep breath, reminding himself there was nothing wrong with wanting to help. If the method the vintner suggested worked, everyone would be happy. And if not, he'd keep searching for ways to free you of the pain. Turning the key in the door lock, he pulled it out before slowly entering your room, ensuring he could give you two the privacy needed in this situation.

To his surprise, you were still awake.

You made a half-hearted attempt at a greeting, but when you noticed it was him, you only scoffed, turning away. It hurt when you gave him the cold shoulder so callously, but Diluc knew you were the one suffering at that moment, not him. He could forgive you for being dismissive of him. Your bedside lamp was still on, and he could see you clutching a pillow to your belly, his own stomach cramping up with remorse, even though, logically, he knew it wasn't his fault. He loved you as you were, the good and bad days, your misery becoming his own much too easily these days.

Setting down the candle on your table, he walked over to you. But not before locking the door from the inside, just so he could give himself a few more seconds before his approach. Every step cost him a lot of discipline, being near you never having been this hard. Even when he looked confident around you, Diluc only ever felt weak. You made him vulnerable. Desperate. Longing for your love and affection was all he was allowed to do, so even just watching your chest rise and fall set him ablaze.

Pushing off his shoes, Diluc focused on the little space you left at the edge of the bed. It was the only space he could see that was reserved for him, as he didn't deserve to share your bed, in your opinion. Yet, when he climbed in, pulling the cover over himself and snaking his arm around your waist, he was enveloped in your scent, your hair tickling his skin as he breathed in deeply. Had he known that heaven was hiding so closely to him, he might not have waited so long to come and see you.

"What are you--" you complained, pushing yourself away from him. But Diluc's hand had already wandered beneath the pillow, feeling the hot water bottle you kept secured there, only to replace it with his palm. He was just as, if not hotter than anything the servants could procure for you; his body temperature naturally elevated from his vision. It wouldn't burn you, but with his hand hugging your lower belly, it was much more effective and fitting than any appliance might be.

And you fell for it, even if just for a split second.

For a moment, you leaned into the comfort of his palm, the pain vanishing in the blink of an eye. Diluc even caught you sighing briefly before you came to your senses, jolting and pushing away from him, only to get stuck inside the blanket and pressed up against him. Diluc couldn't help but grin, having read your actions before they even occurred to you, but of course, this was a serious matter, so he quickly composed himself.

"H-Hey!" you yelled as his hand drifted lower, his face burying into the nape of your neck. He wasn't there to dilly-dally but to be of service. To help you in your time of need. By the time Diluc pressed his lips to your skin and his fingers between your legs, you understood his intentions as well, perhaps misinterpreted, but clear as day.

He was going to fuck the pain away. 

If exercise and stimulation helped others, maybe it would do the same for you. His fingers were met with warm slick, your body flinching when he moved over your clit. Perhaps his calloused hands weren't made for caressing and soft touches but for teasing and stimulating. Judging by how puffy your lower lips were, worked up from days of rubbing your legs together and your panties aggravating them mercilessly, you were in dire need of his help.

"Don't fight it. You're not alone in this," Diluc reassured you as you squirmed in his hold, biting back the salacious sounds of pleasure you were keeping from his ears. You were so mean, keeping every little taste of appreciation from Diluc, knowing how much it meant to him. But he'd endure. Even when your ass ground back against his cock, making it incredibly hard to not focus on his needs as well, he'd put you first in all of this.

When he slipped his pointer and middle finger towards your entrance, a tremor went through your body, a gasp slipping out from between your lips. Diluc never knew how easy it was to get inside another person, greeted warmly and happily by your hole clenching around his fingers.

His kisses became more fervent against your neck, teeth snapping out as he felt like he was losing himself in your scent and warmth. The pushes of his hips against your ass became faster, your cheeks fitting so well around his shaft. You yelled at him to stop, but he barely heard you through the sounds of your sloppy, wet cunt, blood mingling with eager juices to allow him more reach inside you. It was almost as if he could hear them beg for him to go deeper, which just wasn't possible with his knuckles in the way, no matter how much he tried.

Forgotten was the pain as pleasure raked its claws through both of you, and yet, Diluc still heard you whine and sob as he scissored his fingers through your inside. It wasn't enough. He opened his eyes he didn't know he had closed, staring at your expression curiously. All he saw was anger and disgust, your teeth bared and ready to snap, while he could feel your nails digging into his arm. And yet, when he found your eyes, he saw a very different version of events. Lust, desire, longing. You wanted more, and Diluc wouldn't refuse such a request.

Slipping a leg between yours, he pried them apart, spreading you open wide. You gasped, squirming and trying to cut off his access, but Diluc only had to lean back to steal your balance, your body reliant on his while he gained more space on your bed. The hardest part was freeing his cock from the restraint of his pants, the fabric soggy with both your juices as well as his own pre-cum pearling off the tip of his engorged cock.

Nothing could have prepared him for the feeling of your wet cunt greeting his eager cock. No imagining of this situation could have come close to the throbbing heat, your walls convulsing around his fingers in eager expectation. Diluc placed his tip against his fingers, planning to slip them out and take the opening to sink into you, but with how wet the combination of blood and juices was, he felt himself slipping away, kissing your clit instead.

And for the first time, you moaned.

It was the sound of angels and everything nice, and he drew his hips back, trying again to fill you with his cock, missing it just an inch. All good things are three, and when he finally plunged it deep inside your pussy, you weren't the only one yowling in pleasure. No matter what he had imagined his first time with you to be, nothing would ever top the mess he caused between your legs, his cock ready to burst as it pulsated violently inside your equally as ready cunt.

He could feel the waves of pleasure going through you, the shudders in your limbs as he began to slowly press forward, kissing the last few inches of his reach. You remained stiff as a plank, but when he pulled out halfway before sinking in deep again, you were unable to keep your mouth shut, an elongated moan making its way to Diluc's ears, letting him know it was the right thing after all.

Immediately, any hesitation fell off him as he dragged his cock out and sunk it back into you. Fingers retreated to your clit, continuing to slip off and assault the little knob over and over while your walls clenched around his shaft, making you feel every one of his throbs and ridges, the heat between you two almost scorching.

Part of him couldn't believe it worked. That he actually managed to help you with this trick. But he'd have been a liar if he said it wasn't a pleasure for him, too. Diluc could never have dreamed about your proficiency in driving him wild, from your hot, puffy pussy wrapping around him to the improper sounds he had never heard coming from your lips before. The blood kept you so wet and loud down there; it was like you were synching your moans with your pussy, sloppy as they were.

It couldn't have been better, a shudder going through you from head to toe, your feet curling as you gurgled. Diluc wrapped his free arm around your throat, pulling you against him and burying his face in your shoulder as you came hard, juices leaking out, red dripping on the clean sheets with the blanket long discarded.

You were gasping for air as he plunged right back into you, waiting but a mere few seconds of yours before pursuing his own orgasm. Selfishly, but unable to stop. Diluc was already too deep in it, quite literally, your orgasm making your inside tight around him, but it posed no challenge with how drenched you both were.

A strained groan escaped Diluc as he buckled, feeling the first squirts of cum shoot out of him before he drew back, popping out of your cunt and covering it in his cum. His tip got stuck on your clit, as his jizz ejected under the pressure of his orgasm, making you mewl as you were once again stimulated. It would be a mess to clean, but it had been worth it.

You two collapsed, spent and dirty, but Diluc slipped his palm back over your lower stomach, rubbing the collection of juices over your soft skin, leaving a red trail. Kissing the side of your head, he was trying to collect his breath and thoughts, barely able to think straight as the feelings of happiness and his relief kept him in a chokehold.

"Better?" he asked, his voice a blissful rumble as he pulled you firmer against him.

But all he was met with was a cold glare and tears in your eyes. "I-I'm sorry," he stuttered instinctively, immediately feeling bad. What had he done to upset you again? Your teeth were biting into your lip as if you were holding back a tirade of screaming, ready to explode.

His cock twitched between your legs, bloody and so, so wet.

"I'll make it better! I promise! I will definitely make it better," he tried to reassure you, dazed with pleasure as he was, unable to see the actual problem with all of this. Your body convulsed in shock as he pressed his tip upwards again, and you gasped loudly as he sunk his inches inside you. This time, he wouldn't fail to make you feel better. And until then, he'd keep going.

All night long, if he had to.

[everybodyloveshippos]

Children of Malice

Vierna, Maya, Briza Drizzt, Nalfein, Dinin

redraw/redesign of the Do'Urden family (probably will draw Malice, Zak and Rizzen next)

design notes/headcanons under the cut

i usually just have thoughts about the character as im designing so for a few things i was like 'oh thats a thought' also yes i know children of malice is a CR thing too haha

-i wasnt originally gonna draw 'lolths embrace' since these are just my own designs not visual dictionary but like....facial markings are really cool and so i ended up looking up various spider markings (i only used those specific realworld spider designs for dinin, who i also gave darker marking as opposed to lighter) and briza

-i also prefer the idea that its not actually anything to do with lolth, its just a genetic marking that some have and some don't. also the proximity to magic/faezress theory (?) was cool so there's not a huge meaning here; though i guess im guilty bcus I didnt give them to drizzt or vierna

-maybe zak doesnt have them and neither do his kids which sorta spurs on the heretic theory when its actually just a genetic thing that has no actual bearing on lolth's favour

-the women wear more gold and the men more silver, however the men can wear gold; they just have to be wary with standing out more than their sisters. any given day could be too much and cause for a beating

-nalfein likes jewelry and decorations/makeup and is more flashy when he's away at sorcere. his ears are marked up from training with/lessons from zak, who frequently would smack his ears when he was displeased with him. they blend in with lolth's embrace and he will cover them with makeup or a glamour on occasion. i just got the sense he was somewhat insecure given how he kept challenging zak and was written off by his family as mediocre. i think he liked being at sorcere more than at the house

-drizzt takes out his braids whenever he can. he likes his hair loose

-so does dinin. i think a lot of his appearance is meant to attract attention and establish his individuality

-i've always given vierna bangs and a ponytail BUT i love her braids in the comic so I gave her those too. her hair is unruly, like drizzts. she has a couple visible scars as opposed to her sisters because she trained more with zak. he felt bad about it but a bit relived when she didnt make a big deal out of getting a bit marked up. malice was angry

-maya has markings on her ears, so she doesnt pierce them. she wears makeup but forgets its there, and sleeps in it and wipes it off by accident. since her hair is shorter she decorates with little spider gold clips

-i will die on the headpiece hill. og drizzt oldman swag

-compared to my older art of them (first fanart of the series! i knew i was in when i drew all the siblings lol) i think i changed nalfein most to be less ...square....i hit him w a yassification beam and gave him eyebrows

[mcdbutgay]

zoeymau cheebs (click for better quality + transparent pics)

some hcs below ^^ also i love how they complement each other so much GODDD

APHMAU SHALASHASKA

- aphmau shows up at phoenix drop’s doorstep pretty much half dead. no one knows where she came from, and upon waking up she doesn't remember who she is, where she's from, nothing.

- vylad carried her here because he knew that garroth was stationed in phoenix drop and he knew that the village was in dire need of help due to it being lordless; however it doesnt get revealed until way later.

- aphmau gets carried into the guard station which is where she resides for a period of time. zoey, who was visiting phoenix drop at the time (she was a wandering 'merchant' of sorts, looking for a permanent place to stay) feels a weird presence coming from her, not magical but also not normal, and decides to prolong her stay, healing aphmau back to health with garroth's supervision.

- aphmau wakes up and is sooo grateful they took care of her and decides that as payment she’s going to help make this mess of a village better (also she has no memory of anything that happened prior or why she ended up here anyway, so it’s not like she has anywhere else to go.)

- so she fixes up the roads and helps remodel some of the houses (i feel like this version of aphmau is much less princess-like and more handy than canon aph) garroth is very grateful for this

- anyway uh i dont actually have a lot of stuff for her since i find aphmau to be somewhat bland?? ig thats bc aph is meant to be jess for the majority of s1 but yeah uhh that needs to change. this aphmau is more rough around the edges, not afraid to fend for herself and those she cares for, but also very kind and compassionate. also very bubbly at times, but around those she trusts. she’s actually kind of against the idea of having guards follow her around all the time when she first becomes lord (because she believes she can do everything on her own), but later realizes that its much better to have backup bc the world is dangerous tm

- anywayz she grows closer to zoey when she moves into her house. she finds her presence weird at first but quickly gets used to her company, and she finds that waking up to the smell of tea everyday is soothing

- she is often sent out to the woods to gather whatever herbs zoey needs for her magicks. this quickly turns into aphmau trying to find pretty flowers to bring back to her pretty wife as a gesture of love friendship. sometimes she gets scolded bc she unknowingly brings back poisonous flowers or something but zoey knows that she does it with the best of intentions and thinks its kinda cute in a way.

- also aphmau brings back zoey pretty items from her travels, usually rings, necklaces, or even pretty rocks. zoey keeps them all in her room and looks at them while working on magicks stuff

- sorta angsty but i feel like aphmau definitely feels guilty for being absent for most of levin and malachi’s childhood. way in the future i feel like she and zoey would either adopt or have a biological kid of their own that they can both be present for, now that aphmau is no longer a lord and zoey is just enjoying her last lifetime with her beloved wife.

- OH AND i find it funny that they end up together since, at least in my canon, irene and zoey were a thing way back when. so like after irene left this plane or whatever and reincarnated as aphmau its like zoey and irene found themselves again in another lifetime (more on that in zoey’s section, which i actually wrote first)

- god i really don’t have much to say abt aph lol uh she’s bisexual (fem leaning, which is why she doesn’t rlly feel anything for garroth or laurence but does get flustered around guys sometimes) and demiromantic (takes a WHILE for her to feel any romantic attraction. again its why she doesn’t feel anything for G and L LMAO)

ZOEY TALTATHEIL

- was a devout follower and close friend of irene 900 years ago. zoey, although she wasn’t part of the divine warriors, was irene’s right hand woman, and would help her with decisions etc etc.

- she was kind of like a guard but not really lol. i do feel as though she began to mess around with barrier magicks as a way to protect irene, despite the fact that it got her exhiled from her home. she’d do anything to protect her.

- they were overall very close, but due to circumstances tm they had to separate. they never saw each other again sadly

- (although there are some books written by scholars that state that at some point lady irene had a certain lady friend who she lived with and shared intimate moments with. wonder who that is :P)

- ((also irene did have a family at some point, and levin is of her bloodline. he has blonde hair and blue eyes, guess who else has blonde hair and blue eyes? garroth ZOEY (and yes also garroth but thats a coincidence imo) so i think they are at least distantly related but very much so regardless))

- enough about irene. in zoey’s long 900~ year life she’s travelled to many regions, learned about many different cultures, and met many people, some who she did settle down with at some point. due to her immortality, however, she outlived all her previous partners and since then has been afraid to settle down with anyone, afraid of losing them to time

- it wasn’t until she met aphmau and levin (and later malachi) that she began to change her mind. she began to raise her children when she was away on lord duties, and she got VERY attached to them. she treated them as her own, and soon became accustomed to the idea of having a family

- she also began to see aphmau in a more romantic light at some point during s1. she didn’t know when the change from platonic to romantic feelings began but it didn’t matter. what mattered was that she had been raising another woman’s children as though they were her very own, cooking for the 4 of them like a happy family, and literally living the life she had always wanted without even realizing it.

- anyways she sleeps with aphmau in her room despite having her own room. she uses her room more as a workspace for her magicks

- also (and this is less about zoey and more about elves in general) i feel as though elves start out with dark colored hair and with the years it slowly lightens up until it’s completely white (doesn’t matter what color; zoey’s just happened to be blonde which is why she has platinum blonde hair pre-timeskip. it obviously doesn’t change this fast, but zoey giving up her immortality did speed up the process by a LOT which is why the change was so drastic in such a small amount of time (for an elf))

- speaking of her immortality, i feel as though it was the main reason that drove her to, you know, actually become a thing with aphmau. they were practically married pre-timeskip but they never really mentioned it, both scared they’d ruin what they had. aphmau being trapped in the irene dimension was the thing that drove her to spend years of her life studying, trying to get her closest friend, no, her lover back; losing her immortality was the final push to make it official. losing her immortality mean that they’d both pass within each other’s lifetimes, which is something zoey had always wanted (that sounds morbid but imagine being immortal and outliving all your loved ones.. i feel as though one can only take so much pain before it turns you crazy)

- anyways enough angst. since zoey has lived so long and has been all over the place, she has countless stories to tell and levin and malachi always loved hearing them. post-timeskip she tells the same stories to the children of phoenix drop in her spare time. she loves being around children and overall just loves caring for ppl ^__^

- as for like sexuality hcs uhh i can’t imagine her as anything but a lesbian lol

[tht0nesimp]

Yandere Losers Club Headcanons

tw; kidnapping but like...less organized and only mentioned a little bit, manipulation, violence, drugging, hypochondria, forced religion,

-he is much to his dismay like his mom

-He's like a constant nurse, even when you promise your fine! Hitting your knee on a rock hurt for sure, but its not like your going to die..well hopefully not, maybe he's right? thoughts like those will become common as he worms his worries into your mind

-He's willing to share, but only with the club, he continues to promise that its what's best for you when he gives you a prescription of Cyclobenzaprine, just enough to not give you too much serotonin syndrome, but a little extra joy is normal! Not being able to get up just means he needs to get you another prescription or eight! You trust him, dont you?

-Eventually when you try to distance yourself, all the drugs hes been giving you, all the prescriptions you now dont take will come crashing down on you. Hes not going to necessarily mock you when the kidnapping happens and you go through extreme stress and withdrawl...but this wouldn't have happened if you!-

-He gets along best with stan and mike, since all three want what's best for you

-He has his problems with, surprisingly, bev. She got you hurt once and he still hasn't completely forgiven her though he will back her up when you try and vent to him about her manipulating you

-Your overreacting! hes hurt you think she would ever spread rumors about you when she was bullied herself. shame, shame, shame on you

-Manipulation to the max, she will make you want to spend time with her. There is no other option

-She's one of the more patient of the group though, when you finally start to distance yourself she will calmly help create a plan to help bring you home. You will inevitably be back after all whether its due to drug dependency or the loser club knocking you out on your way back from a party, is up to the universe

-She wouldnt hurt you to a certain point, if she believes its for the greater good then your tough out of luck. But she prefers to just make you feel guilty and dependent

-she gets along best with stan and ben, as the other two are too scared to stop her

-Hes...trying

-Its not that he doesnt want you to not be a tad scared of him, but you make it so difficult! I mean, hes the worst at hiding his tendencies about you

-He doesnt fully get why you get bothered when he curses out your crush? What could possibly be wrong?

-Dont worry, he would never hurt you EVER. Well, not on purpose, a few scrapes on an adventure is different!

-He gets along best with mike and bill, as they both enjoy going on adventures with you as well

-Eddie and him clash sometimes, mainly just because of eddies naturally overprotective nature around you getting hurt

-Mike is a bit more gentle, hes one of the few who feels guilt about what hes doing

-Hes also very jealous of the others at times, and although hed never take it out on you..sometimes he gets clingy when he thinks you might be prefering the others over him in any capacity of the sense

-It goes without saying that he wouldn't hurt you, but he cant bring himself to rat on the others when the kidnapping happens. He locks the guilt even further back in his mind at that point and refuses to acknowledge when you call them crazy

-He gets along best with eddie and bill, all three are deeply concerned for your safety just about constantly

-Pomegranate??? When he's especially feeling in debt to god for giving you to him, he encourages you to pray! before bed...when you wake up...before eating....whenever you feel like leaving him...yknow when you should be grateful for things!

-If your not super religious he's...ok with that. Sometimes he may wish you were willing to engage with that stuff but he tries not to bring it up too much

-Besides that, hes somewhat tame. But he doesn't feel guilty

-He goes with the vibe of the group so if you do something wrong or when the kidnapping comes around and they feel you need repercussions he's not going to stand up for you but he wont be cruel to you

-He gets along well with bill and mike, theyre all pretty chill with you

-You wont know hes a yandere unless they kidnap you, he's a scrawny little guy with a stutter who is barely keeping on after georgie's death...do your really think hed ever do stuff like that?!

-You help him with his stutter, your one of the big reason he tries to overcome it when hes a bit older

-Theres not much he does besides a bit of manipulation about him feeling guilty for what happened to his brother, after all, who wouldn't feel bad for this poor guy!

-He gets along best with bev, they both like each other...and you so it works out for them to share you

[yellowbluemoonshine]

Todoroki Siblings Dynamic

I would like to talk about dynamic between Todoroki siblings.

Fuyumi & Natsuo;

I think Fuyumi and Natsuo are each other’s biggest emotional support. Natsuo was abandonded by his father since birth and his mother was hard to reach because she later busy with raising and protecting Shouto but Fuyumi was there for there. She always unconditionally love him. She take care of him. She was less like big sister but most like mother figure for him. And for Fuyumi too, she was most likely more comfortable with Natsuo than she is with other members of family. Her father is out of reach, her mother is in pain, her big brother is in pain and his little brother is in pain. She feels guilty for not being able to do anything for their pain but she doesnt have to feel that way with Natsuo.

Not only Fuyumi and Natsuo shared emotional connection and they both feel guilty for not doing enough for their family and again, other members of family were out of reach. Endeavour abandonded them. Their mother was in hospital. Touya died. Shouto wasnt allowed to be close to them. This is why they only had each others for long time. And we can see how they both try to support each others. Fuyumi makes sure that Natsuo having outside life and tell him ‘he shouldnt compare his pain with others because he was in pain too’ in novel and Natsuo forces himself to join family dinners for the sake of his sister.

Fuyumi & Shouto;

Shouto wasnt allowed to interact with his siblings so he doesnt really relationship with any of them but once again, Fuyumi was a lot like mother/sister type of figure for him, just like Natsuo. (Her personality is also like Deku). Fuyumi feels guilty for not being able to protect his little brother, she feels like he is her responsibility, just like how she feels for Natsuo. As if she has to take care of them and protect them as big sister. Its her mission. She stays at home for the sake of Shouto and try to help him from certain distance. Their relationship is natural. Shouto doesnt have any negative feelings for him but he (just like Natsuo) has the youngest siblings/spoiled child energy around her. Their relationship is improving.

Touya & Natsuo;

Touya wasnt happy when Natsuo was born because he was born to replace him so he didnt like him at first but Natsuo being abandonded, just like him, most likely the reason Touya felt relate to him and of course Natsuo’s kind nature. Despite the fact that his little brother is bigger than him, instead of feeling insecure, he still felt more comfortable around him tells a lot.

It is mentioned that Touya and Natsuo were close and Touya would cry on his shoulders. They were a lot like friends but it is actually weird, if we think about it and here’s why; Touya is the oldest and Natsuo is 5 years younger than him. It is really wierd that 13 yeard old seeing 8 years old as equal which is another proof that Touya was mentally regressing. Not just his psychical condition but his mental state didnt improve so instead of his 12 years old sister, he felt more emotionally close to his 8 years old brother who most likely doesnt even udnerstand a lot of things that his big brother was talking about. The age gap is too big for them to be equal and Natsuo (despite being the younger one) has to be the one ‘emotional support’ for his big brother is actually messed up. For Natsuo, his big sister was like a mother who take care of him and his big brother is someone he most likely looks up to and he is the one who has to take care of his big brother. Once again, all of these shows how broken Touya was.

Of course, Touya’s death hit Natsuo a lot. He felt guilty for not really listening his brother and not doing something for him. This is became the reason he cant ever forgive his father, not because his father abandonded him but because what happenned to Touya. In novel, he mentioned that he was too busy for thinking his dead brother that he couldnt focus on alive ones (Shouto etc).

Note; Touya felt ignored by his family and later died and turned into Dabi. I dont think Dabi targetted Natsuo, he couldnt know that Natsupo would be there since he is rarely at home. It was concidence that Natsuo was attacked. Dabi’s mission is to destroy Endeavour, not really his family. Actually i think he is ignoring them on purpose because they ignored his pain when he was child too.

Natsuo & Shouto;

At first, Natsuo also felt jeolous of Shouto because it lead Rei to neglect her children but it mentioned in novel that he changed his perspective when Shouto got hurted by boiling water, he said he couldnt forget Shouto's screams from that night and feel guilty for not doing something for him (kinda edit). Besides that, there is not much to say about their relationship since they didnt interact much. Shouto wasnt allowed to interact  with them and also Natsuo were dealing with grief of Touya and he most likely wanted to be far away from Endeavour as much as possible which means staying away from Shouto too. Natsuo feeling guilty for not being able to protect Shouto but Shouto doesnt mind. Despite not having much interaction, they also have common thoughts about their family. They both dont blame their mother and want to help her. They both view Fuyumi as sister/mother figure and act like spoiled children aound her. They both know who to blame, Endeavour, for the pain of their family. They both dont want to do much with him and try to endure him for their mother and big sister. They both used to look up to Touya (I think Shouto kinda looked up to him too, since he is the oldest). They both kinda healthiely and childishly hate their father. They are similar about a lof ot things and they both are kind natured so they will get along well. Their relationship is improving.

Touya & Shouto;

I mentioned about their relationship in here. They both have so many common points. Literally written to be parallels. Whether they are too opposite or too similar. They were complete strangers but they already have a lot of complicated feelings about each others because of this.

Touya idolized Endeavour and view him as creator of him but this broke him and lead him to destroy him. Shouto hated his father and viewed him as monster but later seeing him ‘change’ lead him to give him a chance. Touya saw his mother as guilty too for failing him. Shouto only view her as victim, even blamed himself for her pain. Touya felt like his siblings failed him but Shouto didnt think about that before since he never really interacted with them, he didnt much thoughts about it. Touya questioned the society of heroes and system that lead Endeavour get away while Shouto only view his father as problem. They both too similar and too opposite, dealing with similar issues which is why they see theirselves in each others and they really dont know how to deal with it.

They both meant to come to and understanding so they both can heal from their traumas and be a true heroes they both always desired to be.

Touya & Fuyumi;

I think this relationship is underrated. They have kinda twin energy. (Well, Touya is like this with every sibling of him, lol).Touya and Fuyumi are polar opposite which makes sense because siblings shows similar type of behavours with opposite personalities since they need to balance each others. Touya was intense, he is the truthteller over and over, in every single moment he would have to talk about his issues while Fuyumi is peacekeeper, she is silent and run away from her issues to that she could keep the peace even it is fake. Which means she would have to ignore Touya too which is why Touya didnt feel close to her and they both didnt but i do believe that they love each others. Fuyumi is still Fuyumi-chan to him, his little sister no matter what. She would call him out to play with him so he wouldnt feel left out. Fuyumi’s relationship with Touya is different than she has with Natsuo and Shouto because she doesnt know how to reach out to him. She play the mother/big sister role for her brothers and she thinks she has to take care of them and protect them and this is the best role she knows but she cant do that with Touya since he is the oldest.

For both Touya and Fuyumi, they thought their family was normal at first. Touya thought training was normal, Fuyumi thought the way her father distance from her is normal. But Touya found out the truth after he was abandonded and he called out his parents for it. For Fuyumi who is just have to watch all of these, her closing eyes and ears is her trauma response, just like Touya who cant hold his intense emotions keep inside. They both loved Endeavour once and gave him many chances. Fuyumi wants to forgive him for her sake but for Touya, for Dabi, it is not even about forgiveness anymore, it passed that point years ago. Years later, Fuyumi wants their broken family to turn into normal ones but she is doing it without actually adressing the problems while Dabi is constantly reminding what is the problem. Well, Fuyumi cant move on if she doesnt adress the problem and Dabi cant really adress the problem and heal without eventually moving on.

And in the end, they both need to come to an understanding. Fuyumi should understand that their family will never be normal but at least she has her family and it is enough. She shouldnt force them to be the family she imagined while Dabi also eventually in the end has to respect other family members’s desire to forgive. I think they both can do that with each others and their family. Because they love each others. Once upon a time, they were the besties, before everything went worse. I cant wait to see them getting over their problems together.

They all have interesting interactions as inviduals. I hope they hang out together at the end. They deserve to be happy together.

[its-the-sa]

I'd love to hear your interpretations on those dreams at the end of artificer's campaign, the ones where you're trapped in a hallway with a scav and you have to kill them.

Personally, it's very interesting to me that in some of them, the player is the one controlling the scavenger (imagine a dream where you're someone else and it's you that's the killer, that's fucked up). I like to imagine that they began as basically arti's bloodlust carrying over to her dreams, but over time they got more complex, more detailed. Less of a violent fantasy and more of a reoccurring nightmare, maybe a symbol of her regret or a general disgust for senseless violence.

I have a headcanon where the dreams eventually make arti so sick to the stomach at the idea of violence she decides to give it up entirely, only fighting to kill something to eat. It's how I felt after finishing her campaign- I was so exhausted from the fight with the chieftain that once I won, I didn't have it in me to go around killing any more scavengers. I just felt bad for them and watched them run away from me. I couldn't do it anymore.

THIS THIS THIS!!! seriously, so many people seem to think that arti just genuinely enjoys murdering scavs, and... i mean i kinda get where theyre coming from, but to me it seems pretty clear that she is just constantly re-traumatizing herself.

like yes, she is consumed by rage, and im sure she does get satisfaction from killing them in the heat of the moment. but afterwards, i think it definitely haunts her. i imagine she tries to tell herself that 'they're all the same' and 'they deserve it', but she knows deep down that isn't true. she just keeps choosing violence because it's easier than accepting her loss. just like some people try to drown their sorrows in drugs or alcohol, arti tries to drown hers in blood. it's a self-destructive coping mechanism. as long as she is out there fighting for her life, finding enemies to hate and kill, she doesnt have to sit with her pain. but, once she goes to sleep, she cant run from her demons anymore. she has to relive her trauma and her grief, and she has to face the twisted monster she's allowed it to turn her into. theyre called 'nightmares' for a reason, after all-- they aren't fantasies about something she enjoys doing. even in the ones where she is still 'herself', she is trapped as surely as the scavenger is. theres no going back at that point. she has already dug herself into a hole where there is no choice but to keep killing.

and the ones where she is dreaming from the scav's point of view? that is like... the most perfectly brutal representation of repressed guilt i have ever seen. it shows that she on some level sympathizes and identifies with the scavengers she kills, that she's horrified at what she has become, and that she is inevitably destroying herself. all just by simply changing who the player is controlling. its freaking brilliant tbh.

anyway, i think that ultimately arti just feels guilty. she blames herself for not protecting her pups. she didnt watch them closely enough, she dropped them when she was running away, she didnt realize the blue pup got left behind at first, and she couldn't dive in the water to save the green pup. she feels like she failed them. so i think that once she took revenge on those toll scavs, the only person she had left to punish was herself. and she did it by going on to project her guilt onto every scavenger she saw. she chose to become a monster because thats what she felt she deserved to be treated like

[kingdoms-and-empires]

Hey, wanted to say I am in love with your work. Really fantastic! May I ask: Do you have any pieces of advice for inspiring CoG writers or Interactive Fiction writers? Thank you and can't wait for more.

Im absolutely welcome these types of asks as they help remind me of what ive learned myself. Im going to try and say what i think every aspiring writer should hear to help them start out. Here we go: 1) Ensure you know what how much youre writing from the very beginning and plan accordingly. If it is a smaller story, do not be super ambitious, use it as a starter game to learn the basics of choicescript and learn the social media aspect of producing a title. If it is a large story, say over 800k words long, then you NEED to have an outline for each arc to help you know A to B for the story beats. Make outlines upon outlines and you will be doing yourself a favor. ESPECIALLY when coding. 2) THIS ISNT LIKE WRITING TRADITIONAL NOVELS. Know that Interactive Fiction is frustrating to write. You can write 3k words for a choice group, and players will only see 500 words or less worth of content for that choice group. Do not feel disheartened, for it is what it is. Just know youre doing a good job providing content and playable interaction with choices! Just be aware and mindful of not injecting bad or useless content in these choices! Have it matter in some way, either to represent/flesh out the world, characters, who the MC is, consequences, relationship changes, and foreshadowing.

3) Do not get too caught up with reader interaction. Your main job is to write write write. Create a hard limit for how many asks you answer, how much time you spend interacting with readers, and know what type of questions you should answer. Simply put: Be strategic! There may be a great question, but it could be too spoilery or it could take too much of your time to answer. 4) I learned this the hard way. Do not release information about the ROs until you actually reach the part in the story we meet them. If i can go back in time, i wouldnt have announced mine so soon haha. Youre gonna be eager to share your work and talk about it, but youll only be shooting yourself in the foot with people who only seek romance from your game! Also, dont overshare about em. You could retcon something and a reader may get upset with the change. Keep it simple! 5) Set low goals. Do not overpromise. You will feel guilty for failing and it may/will affect you mentally and your willingness to write. 6) You are not perfect, and that's okay!!! I struggle with this (and honestly everything ive listed here), but reminding yourself that its okay to not be perfect will help. You're human. It's hard to remember, and take it seriously, but you have to try. 7) Choice of Games (and more specifically Hosted Games) offer amateur writers a chance to share their work with others. Though games are becoming more and more expansive and huge, don't feel like you HAVE to do the same. A Mage Reborn is widely considered to be one of the best titles to have come out in recent years, and is listed at having 160k words! Small package (160k is by no means small in any capacity, dont get it twisted) big impact! 8) Know what type of game and title youre writing. If your project is focused on romance, dont spend more than necessary on worldbuilding, action, or thematically unrelated things. Stick to what the focus is, and your strength! 9) Ask for help. Seriously. You are combining coding and writing, so there's bound to be errors and things you wont understand. The CoG forums and Twine communities are always ready to help. Reach out to the communities or other authors for help. Just remember that some may be too busy to really help, so don't feel disheartened if one doesnt have the time. There are others, and you usually only need one to say yes to help figure out what youre struggling with or why you keep getting that error message. 10) Understand that you are giving a piece of your soul out there. It sounds corny as hell, but it's the simple truth. There is literal risk involved as a creator, no matter if you write, develop, draw, sing, perform, etc. There's obviously the risk of spending too much time on a hobby or dream for too little gain, but what im referring to is the all too common story of a creative putting their heart and soul into something important to them, and receiving no attention or being told it sucks. It will damage you, and perhaps even break you. Because again, you may have given it your all. So please take care of your mental health. It's okay to retreat and stop for a while. That doesnt make you a failure. Most of us creatives do this because we love the subject, and want to share what we can with others that love the industry, hobby, or topic theyre in. Remember that love, and remember what made you fall in love enough to put yourself out there. Remember you started for the art and craft.

[gx-gameon]

I wanted to ask how does this AU deal with season 2 when Jaden goes on his solo trip into the ocean to find himself and ultimately meet the Neo Spacians!

This ask really made me realize I need to rewatch Gx again because so many things happened.

Everything in this au is fluid until I can get a true rewatch in, as things will move and shift.

But to do this we need to look back a little.

It’s Jaden’s second year and he calls Yugi on like the first day of classes. And at first Yugi is worried because Jaden just left home, he wasn’t schedualed to call until a week later. Yes he loves his son, and is so excited to hear from him, but he’s also a dad who worries for his baby boy.

But Jaden calls and tells him with all the excitement in the world that he just dueled Aster Phoenix! And he won! And sure it wasn’t Asters real deck, but the duel was so much fun and Jaden can’t wait to duel him again.

He’s talking a mile a minute and Yugi is doing his best to keep up. But wait, Aster Phoenix? Jaden are you sure? Because Yugi knows Aster Phoenix. He’s the duelist prodigy who has taken the Pro-leagues by storm.

Seto hates the kid because he uses Hero cards and he wanted them to be signature cards for Jaden like his Blue-eyes, or Atem’s Dark Magician, or Yugi’s Gandora/Silent Magician. Yugi had stoped him from getting Pegasus to private all the hero cards. Telling Seto Jaden already made his own Archtype and Seto sent them to space (it was before they knew Jaden. And sure Jaden doesnt remember them, but that doesn’t make Seto feel any less guilty, he’s been trying to get them back for years, but hasn’t found the pod yet)

But Yugi is excited for his son. Glad he’s having fun and being safe. But he wonders why Atser would duel Jaden. Let alone do it with a fake deck. Something doesn’t sit right with him.

Yugi, Atem, and Joey go to see Aster’s next match. They were planing to go anyway as it is Zane’s first pro-league duel and they want to see one of Jaden’s friends duel. Plus it’s always nice to check out the Pro-league to see who’s coming up.

I think the dueling community in this world has a tiered pro level. The ‘pro-league’ being in the middle. Think like professional football in England (I’ve been watching Ted Lasso) mainly because I don’t think Zane and Aster are at the same level as the DM crew yet. They would be dueling at the top level, we’ll call it the premier league for now. (But let’s be real Kaiba probably named it the Blue-eye’s League, or something like that)

And they watch Zane Lose. Badly. Joey feel bad for the kid. Knowing how he’d feel if his little sister and all of her friends watched him lose his first match on national television. That’s rough.

Atem is not a fan of Aster. The way he talks to his opponent does not sit well with him. Even less so since this is one of Jaden’s friends.

Yugi agrees with both of them. He’s planning to call Jaden after the match to check on him and how his friends are doing after watching that. And he doesn’t want to admit it, but Seto was right. It feels wrong to watch someone else duel with the cards he’s always associated with his son. Especially with the way Aster uses them.

The three are about to leave, Joey suggesting a group call with Jaden, as he misses his littlest buddy, when they hear it. They hear Aster call out Jaden on national television. Saying Jaden copied his deck and a bunch of other nasty things about their boy.

Yugi’s furious, because how dare this boy. He doesn’t even know Jaden. His son has used those cards since they came out. Far before Aster made them popular. But with one interview he’s screwed Jaden’s professional career. If Jaden goes to the pro-league right out of Duel Academy with his hero deck, all anyone will talk about is this interview. He’ll face an up hill battle to prove to everyone he isn’t copying Aster’s deck.

Plus it just isn’t true. Because Jaden loves those cards. He can communicate with their spirits. Something Yugi is pretty sure Aster cannot do.

But Yugi’s trying to keep it together. Because on his right is Atem full of righteous fury and all the holier than though energy that his life as a Pharaoh filled him with. The man’s ready to march down there and challenge Aster to a duel. And on his left is Joey ‘You mess with my friends you mess with me’ Wheeler. Joey who hands have been rated E for everyone since before Yugi and him were even friends. He’s just as likely to march himself down there and punch the kid as he is to duel him.

And as much as Yugi wants to defend his son, his first priority is Jaden’s safety. Because how could we explain why we want to challenge Aster (a 14/15 year old) to a duel? Without revealing our connection to Jaden? Nothing the Kid said should upset them. After all Jaden Yuki has no relation to Yugi Mouto or Seto Kaiba. Jaden doesn’t want people knowing who he is yet, and it’s dangerous to reveal Jaden to the world like that. How many people would try to hurt him to get to Seto? Or Yugi himself?

He’s able to reason with his two rightfully angry companions. He’s just grateful his husband didn’t come. There would have been no stopping Seto from dueling Aster into the ground for daring to say such bold faced lies about their son.

They call Jaden afterwards and he tells them that while he’s sad Zane lost and it kind sucked to have Aster call him a copy cat, he’s still excited to duel Aster again. A hero on hero fight sounds so fun. And Yugi is so proud of his son. How he’s excited to duel and become friends with Aster. Joey rolls his eyes and mutters something about Muto men and befriending rich snobs.

Yugi relaying the call to Seto is the only thing that stops Seto from ruining Aster’s life.

Now on to the main event

Aster comes and challenges Jaden to a duel and this one he wins with his Destiny hero’s. But that’s not all. Jaden can no longer see his cards. He can’t see any card.

He calls his Dad in a panic that night and tells him all about the duel and how he can’t see any cards. Even Winged Kuriboh abandoned him. And he’s in tears because this is his Dad. He can’t let his friends know how bad this is hurting him but his Dad has always been there for him. Has always been his shelter.

And Yugi’s heart breaks. He’s coming. He doesn’t care anymore he’s coming. He tells Jaden to wait it out for a day or two while he gets some things sorted out and then he’ll come get him. (He’s trying to figure out how to quietly pick up Jaden, without a Kaiba-copter) he also doesn’t want Jaden to drop out. They can figure this out together.

He tells the rest of the DM crew and they all want to come, but Yugi doesn’t want to overwhelm Jaden. He’s going to go alone. Seto wants to come to but realizes that his own anger at Aster and the situation won’t help Jaden. The best he can do right now is support Jaden and Yugi. (And dig up all the dirt he can on Aster Phoenix) if Jaden decides to drop out, he’s over hauling the school, he’s got to make those plans as well. The Slifer dorm needs some updates (wait till he finds out Crowler and Bonaparte are trying to tear down Jaden’s dorm.)

But he can’t let Yugi go completely alone. Not when Jaden needs them. So they take the yachts out. (Look me in the eyes and tell me Kaiba doesn’t have a yacht) the DM crew are all aboard. They want to be there for Jaden.

The plan is Yugi will take one of the smaller life boats to duel academy and meet up with Jaden. The two can sail out and have a talk. If Jaden feels better and wants to go back to school great! But if he wants a longer break then they can head back to the yacht and meet up with the rest of the family. Jaden will be surrounded by support while they figure this out.

So Yugi heads out to meet up with Jaden. The pick up goes great. It’s late at night, Jaden sneaks out no problem (something for Yugi to worry over later) and the two head out.

What they aren’t expecting is to get hit by a “falling star” and get transported to the duel spirit world.

Yugi is protective at first. Jaden’s going through it right now. He doesn’t even have his deck! So when they are challenged by the dueling alien-robot thing. Yugi’s ready to kick it to kingdom come for messing with his kid. He’s got a lot of pent up rage at this point from feeling helpless to protect his boy. (He’s still having problems with the fact Jaden fought the Sacred Beasts last year)

But Aquos steps in and tells them it has to be Jaden. And Yugi’s about it to tell this duel spirit to take its opinion and destiny and shove it where the sun don’t shine. He’s been in this rat race to long to be bullied by ‘destiny’ he’s changed it enough times to know it’s not set in stone. He’s protecting his son.

Or he was until Aquos point out the Kaiba Corp Satellite to them. And inside, would you believe it? It’s the cards Jaden made as a kid. The cards Seto sent to space and has been look for like a mad man ever since he and Yugi found out they were Jaden’s cards.

‘So this is why Seto never found them.’ Yugi thinks. ‘That tech of his that got him to the afterlife to battle Atem must have been in these Satellites as well. After all they shot themselves into another dimension. And while he’s trilled that Jaden has those cards again, and he can see them, and Jaden’s smiling again. He can’t help but worry about where Jaden’s other card is. If his deck ended up in this dimension. Where had his spirit protector, Yubel, ended up?

But it’s something to worry about later. Jaden duels the alien robot thing. Yugi knows this is Jaden’s true deck. If anything is going to get him back on his feet it’s this duel. So he encourages his son and supports him through the duel, the same way Yugi’s friends always supported him.

After Jaden wins the two wake up back on their boat. They’re groggy and disoriented, when they hear a voice calling out to them. They look up and the Kaiba Yacht is heading their way. (They all got worried when Yugi didn’t come back)

Jaden gets to spend some time with his family. It helps a lot. His new cards have given him the boost he needed. But it’s even nicer to have his family around. He stays with them for a few days. (Seto sends a message to the school as one Mr. Yuki. Stating that they have picked up their son for a family emergency. No one can say Jaden is skipping class. But the staff does not pass this message on to Jaden’s friends. They think Jaden ran away or is missing)

While he’s away all the other events still happen. He arrives just in time to duel Aster again. Winning with his new deck and convincing Aster that he’s not only strong, but that destiny is crap, and he should join Duel Academy (Téa is so proud of her nephew and the power of friendship he’s using on this lonely little teenager. Aster should be good friends with Jaden and cannon is a coward for not doing more with them after season 2. They’re going to be good friends by season 3 in this au)

I always thought throwing Jaden on a remote part of the island to remove him from the plot was wild. Like I get it and it’s fun, but in this Au he’s having family time and getting to know his new deck.

[slightly-depressed-sloth]

Little fandom vent; sometimes I get annoyed at the way fandom reduces Damian down to stabby child who only cares about himself and does murder. Like yeah while I get fandom almost always reduces characters down to their funniest or snappiest traits Damian's just doesn't make sense.

Like his whole character is about how much he DOESNT want to be those things.

Damian cares so so so much about other people he just struggles to express it bc it takes a lot for him to trust someone enough to believe they're not going to pull the rug out from under him or betray him somehow. If he didn't care about other people he wouldn't have spent months trying to find Martha's pearls in the sewer, risking his life bc there was a bounty on his head at this point and further ruining his image with Bruce (who thought Damian was just sneaking off and putting himself in danger). He wouldn't have denounced the league and everything he knew to protect a man he'd met less than a year ago. He wouldn't have purposely failed a timed test as Robin to get across the city as fast as possible (a test that would've allowed him to go out alone as Robin and given him more independence one of things Damian values very highly) instead he went over the allowed time by more than 10 hours BC he helped old women with their shopping and walked women home after they were robbed and he sat with a man he saw crying in his apartment for more than 2 hours just having tea with him. I could go on and on about all the genuinely kind things he does bc Damian's empathy and kindness is one of his defining traits actually.

And yeah he used to kill people and he was more prone to violence than the other Robins but he was literally raised in an environment where his worth and by proxy his survival was tied to how well he did murder. I'm pretty sure if you raised any child in an environment where since they were born they were rewarded for killing and violence but punished for showing mercy and told them that it's for the greater good, that they're special and that there's nothing wrong with killing if the ends justify the means they'd end up the same.

Not to mention Damian fights so hard to not be violent bc he doesn't want to be, the people Damian admires most in the world (Dick and Jon) both based their entire personality around Superman (also it's confirmed Supes is his fav justice Leaguer in supersons). Damian wants to be like them so bad and wants to be kind and outgoing and as pacifist as you can get as a vigilante. Damian struggles so much to be that person but it's not as easy as just stopping when you've been conditioned your whole life that killing is the right move and that your worth as a person and the love of those around is dependent on you doing it. He literally keeps a sketch book where he just draws out all the intrusive violent thoughts he gets while fighting villains to get the anger and compulsion out so that he DOESN'T do those things. And Damian feels immensely guilty about all of his past murders which is shown over and over. When he kills no-body (an action he did to protect Bruce) he asks Bruce afterwards how he's supposed to make amends, how he's supposed to live with it.

Which leads me onto the other thing (and hopefully the last cause wow this is getting long) even Damian at his absolute worst only performs extreme violence out of either self defense or logic to him. He doesn't do it out of maliciousness (or at least that isn't the motivating factor). His worst actions were probably in his introduction where he 1) He accosted Alfred and stole the key to exit the batcave 2) Decapitated a villian 3) Attacked Tim

So let's get background on these events from Damian's pov. Damian has never been told who his father is and has to duel his mother every year on his birthday for the chance to find out. And then on his 10th birthday he wins and then that same night he's taken on a plane to go live with this man who he's told about on the plane ride over, then his first impression of him is Bruce fighting a bunch of manbats. His mother says she's leaving him with him indefinitely not telling him when she'll be back. And then this man who he only found out about hours beforehand takes him on another plane to a foreign country where he knows no-one and he finds out his father has other children as well. He's then locked in a small room adjoining a fucking cave full of weapons and told virtually nothing with no-one really talking to him except for them telling him that oh yeah everyone you know and trust is evil and your whole world view is wrong. And then when he yells at Bruce and has what's honestly best described as a temper tantrum (BC oh yeah he was literally 9 years old until a couple hours ago) Bruce in a bid to try and control his anger (since he's not sure how dangerous he is yet) uses league tactics on Damian telling him that he's dishonouring those who taught him. So the literal child whose spent his 10th birthday being flown around the globe to be a dumped in a foreign country with a man he's never met and only knows is a good fighter with a family consisting of an unknown amount of other allies who are similarly trained and then was locked in a room after being told his whole life is a lie might be forgiven for latching onto the only familiar thing here and going 'oh! Now I know how this works'

With the knowledge that Damian definitely decided from this conversation that the bats operate the same as the league it's pretty clear his reasoning is

1) Accosting Alfred and and stealing the key - a) I don't think you'd wanna be locked in a space by a bunch of strangers either no matter how nice the space is b) he probably assumed it was a challenge to see whether he was able to break out and a way they were testing his worth/ability

2) Decapitated a villian - once again assuming this is a test and trying to prove his worth/help his father in the mission to stop crime he was just told about

3) attacked Tim - a) Damian assumes that since Tim is home that he must be the current favourite and it's already known that in the league the way you replace someone is by killing them thus proving you were better than them. B) in the league if you were not the favourite/the best you were disposable c) the only way Damian knows how to earn/receive love is by performing violence, it's pretty reasonable that a 10 year old would try to go above and beyond to earn their new father's love (especially for a child like Damian whose always looking for that unconditional love he's been denied)

From Damian's perspective here he's being the best son anyone could want, he's doing the most past the point he'd be expected to and only being met with anger and disgust. Not to mention that from his view he's literally ensuring his safety since once again in the league Damian was one of the only people whose safety was ensured by proxy of him being the heir/favourite, we literally see them kill other leaguers as part of training.

Like this isn't to excuse what he did or say it's right but it is to point out that it WAS right from Damian's point of view and that he doesn't do what he does out of malice or blood thirst he's just a small child who quite literally didn't know any better.

(also him being mean is similarly a self defense thing, it's fairly common in abused kids. It's the logic of you can't hurt me if I hurt you first/you can't hurt me if I don't let you get close enough)

[nerves-nebula]

Sorry bout this thing but I kinda wanted to tell my thoughts about your stuff. Im kind of hoping this will get drowned in your inbox honestly, since this is just a really long unsolicited rant of mine.

Sometimes when i scroll through your account and I encounter csa, incest and mentions of suicide in your posts I get uncomfortable but then I remember that one phrase that goes something like "Art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comforted" and I just feel kinda bad bout myself.

When I was a kid my nannys bf forced me to kiss him in the lips whenever we met. I was 6. It was uncomfortable. I never did tell my nanny about it. My parents are both police people and my mother had long explained the concept of rape and how unconsensual touch is bad and you shouldnt allow that but something prevented me from telling anyone what was happening. I dont know why. I know they would immiedietly jail that guy if they did but somehow it felt like no one would believe me. I never told them until now, then when I was what, 6-8 years old? I cant even remember. Yeah somewhere around that, he molested me when my nanny was few feet away and asleep and for the next 4 years of my life i felt dirty. Desecrated. Stupid. I couldnt even look down at my naked body when i shower back then, but somehow I managed to trudge on living by trying to forget the fact it happened. Its been 8 years since Ive last seen him. Ive told anyone who I knew who doesnt care enough to be friends with me but cared enough to listen about it but my Parents are none the wiser and i plan on keeping it that way.

Also. Im a year away from being legal now. Ive thought about killing myself or just generally not wanting to exist anymore many times since then, cuz lifes equipped with motolov cocktails of "get fucked dumbass" and i somehow managed to get a coupon for at least a million of them.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

Coming back to the phrase i mentioned earlier, it feels weird whenever i feel something similar to the feeling of being triggered while looking at csa being depicted. By definition, i would be considered a victim, and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont. I see your art and it guts me. It guts me and the fact that it does also guts me, because what does that mean? I am supposed to be the comforted? Despite the fact that I was taken advantage of as a child and spent night after might thinking how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equiped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children? So i do I correspond more with those who are defined as comforted then, was i not disturbed after all? Was i victimizing myself all along? Am I a bad person for thinking i was? No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

And then it repeats.

I still go through your blog because well, i love tmnt, i love your artstyle, i love the way you tell stories, I love how you dont sugar coat csa, incest and other darker topics like body horror, erotism and sadism, i hate how much it haunts me, i love the fact i can relate, i hate how much you hurt them, i love the fact that you dont hold back, i love how you show the ugly sides of healing, i love how you depict how much people can change and struggle. Its comforting to me. Its discomforting to me. I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

And i like it. I like it somehow, like taking a nice smoke break when you have mild asthma, but like, better. Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

But yeah. Tldr. Sorry for the trauma dump and your art makes me feel complicated. Its neat 👍

lot to reply to here! also, unfortunately for you, i check my inbox obsessively and dont get nearly as many asks as you seem to believe i do.

so firstly, no snappy saying is meant to encompass all of human experience, and you certainly shouldn't judge yourself for not fitting into it. easier said than done, i know, but still. i'm gonna try to address some things here, not gonna touch on all of it, but just know that i appreciate you sitting down to write me this.

(I hope that line made you laugh if you read this).

it made me smile, but i laughed at this, because it's a very sweet look into you writing this. puts into perspective how, even though this is public, it was written TO me. like a letter in victorian times or something. that's sweet, i like that.

and id of course would be comforted by seeing similar experiences happen to people because relating to something usually induces a positive feeling. I dont.

you're making a lot of assumptions here that are kind of wild in that "this thought process was clearly designed by your mind to upset you specifically" sort of way. I mean, would you say this to literally anyone else when they feel uncomfortable or triggered about viewing media that relates to their trauma? There's really no telling what a survivor will feel comforted by and you aren't Doing It Wrong by having a different reaction.

there's a reason i tag it as "csa tw" and that's so people can AVOID it as well as search it up.

how stupid i was and why I let that happen to me even when I was equipped with the information that makes me less vulnerable than other children?

i know you recognize at the end of the thought process that this is not true, but i feel the need to reiterate: there is no such thing as being less vulnerable than other children through your own actions. you can try to equip kids with knowledge that might protect them, but that doesn't make them any less vulnerable.

my dad told me about rape and molestation all the time, but he never accounted for the kinds of scenarios i was actually the most likely to fall victim to, partly because i don't think he actually knew much about childhood sexual abuse, and partly because he was more obsessed with the idea of me being kidnapped and raped/murdered than he was about forms of sexual abuse he'd consider more "mild"

No wait, that doesnt make any sense at all. Its all wrong. Why am I so guilty about this? Why am i subjecting myself to this?

i can't answer that one, unfortunately. personally, i like to feel gutted, it's cathartic to me. might be something like that to you, based on how you go on to describe it, but you might also be doing some kinda self harm.

I stick hand into the fire knowing I would be burned, then I do.

saaaaame. i triggered myself into a breakdown in class once cuz i'd been reading fucked fanfiction before class and i got SAD lol.

Its a nice change of pace to feel so conflicted like this, its a nice change of pace to feel anything at all really.

we are shaking hands over this.

anywho, no need to apologize! i am glad, if nothing else, to provide you with a strange and upsetting experience that is not entirely bad.

I really do adore hearing how my stuff makes people feel. it's like, a solid one third of the reason i do this. i still make stuff that doesn't exist to be shown off but WOW showing shit off and getting a response feels FANTASTIC. like, i'm in your head now!! you have been CHANGED by my ART. it's maybe the best part of being alive.

[actualbird]

hi zak! I saw the tags you left on a reblogged post about Luke and suffering in relation to catholicism and that made me think. one of my classmates used to mention "the catholic guilt" (particularly about having desire), and I just thought it fits Luke so well. He felt so guilty about loving Rosa (and leaving her alone...) for so long T-T. Also, I'd love to hear more of your thoughts about catholic and filipino luke if you'd like to write about it!

irt to these deranged tags i left on this post abt suffering as salvation and luke forever ago, screencapped below for reference

hello hello! sorry this response took Ages but now im finally down to answer this so....

//steeples hands.....is luke pearce catholic coded? to Me, yes, and ive been casually throwing around this concept ever since 2021 HAHA. the filipino bit is actually just me projecting, so i wont go too much into that, but the religious bit Is something i wanna talk about. and i apologize in advanced for how long this response is gonna end up being

quick disclaimer b4 i start tho: im Not a theologian or an expert in religious theory, im just some guy who went through over a decade of catholic school and lives in the philippines, a primarily catholic country. this whole response is not saying "catholicism bad." it's more the institutions from where we experience catholicism from can twist it into something harmful, and i got to experience that first hand and how it affects one's view of themselves

ANYHOO, LET'S START FROM THE BEGINNING

like....the Beginning beginning

part 1: in the beginning, adam and eve did an oopsie so now we're all saddled with original sin (i swear this is important to luke pearce, bear with me)

quick recap on those who are unfamiliar: in the book of Genesis, god told adam and eve not to eat from the tree of knowledge. and then they did. this was the first ever sin in the history of humankind, and it is inherited by all humans through birth. so like, yay, happy entrance into the world, newly born baby child! you are guilty of sin already. this original sin is most usually absolved though through baptism, so it's not too much of a problem. but what im interested here is less of the nitty gritty semantics and more of the concept this all puts forth:

that under catholicism and similar denominations, a child, somebody who has not done any wrong at all, is inherently tainted by sin

now, the Good reaction to sin or any wrongdoing one has done is to recognize it and to atone for forgiveness. and within the "recognition" part is where guilt lies. functionally, guilt has a purpose. it makes us realize that we had done something wrong, it makes us feel remorseful, and it adds motivation to atone, to turn a new leaf, and to be better. in healthy amounts, guilt is useful and a natural part of being conscious over the things you do. and in unhealthy amounts, guilt is agonizing.

but thats for stuff you actually Did.

if the thing you are guilty for isnt actually something you were responsible over, the guilt cant do anything to make any of it better. you cant be a better person from it, because you didnt even do it. it just sits there, making you feel horrible for something that was out of your control. but because guilt is a Good thing to do, it doesnt matter if it's functional or not. it needs to stay. because it's Good, and the sin youre saddled with (whether or not you were responsible) is Bad

now let's bring in luke

luke's parents died when he was very young. this led him to living with mc's family, and a huge insecurity and fear he had from the beginning was that he felt guilty for burdening them, for stealing the love and care from mc's parents when that shouldve been for mc alone. the story SSR Shape Of You goes into this particular childhood experience extensively (and i highly reccommend it to anyone who hasnt read it yet), and tells us that his guilt was so bad that he wanted to run away and even erase himself from existence.

but luke didnt even do anything wrong

at the time, he was a child. he had no bearing whatsoever in the accident that killed his parents, he had no sway over who wouldve ended up looking after him, he had no control over the situation. like a newborn baby born under catholic doctrine, luke finds himself inherently tainted by and guilty for the circumstances that landed him to where he was.

this kind of pattern is going to follow him for the rest of his life, and the concept of inherent sin and inherent guilt begins to evolve. if luke can find himself guilty for things out of his control, then he can also find himself guilty for things that arent even sins in the first place

key example: love

like you said, luke feels immense guilt over loving mc. but why? love is the opposite of a sin, afterall.

it's just a sin when luke does it. because luke sees himself as inherently bad, and sees mc as inherently good. he sees himself as unworthy of her or someone who will just bring pain into her life, and causing pain someone you love is bad. if love is the knife he uses to hurt someone he loves, then that love is bad. that love should not be realized, and luke should feel guilty for even yearning for her.

by this point i think it's obvious that original concept has become twisted and overly punishing, even cruel. and thats because:

a lot of institutions teach catholic doctrine in an unhealthy and harmful manner. this is why many catholics and lapsed catholics experience The Catholic Guilt(TM). what was originally a pretty reasonable thing gets blown out of proportion from the places we learn these things from, and then getting exposed to this for majority of our lives lets it worm its way into our brain where it'll tend to stay

and if one's brain also has a tendency for self hatred and/or mental illness........well. it all gets worse.

it's clear in canon that luke is uhhhh not the most mentally well individual. his guilt is so overwhelming that it's the driving force in so many of his choices, stories, and experiences. which is big reason #1 for why luke just seems so catholic to me, because of the sheer intensity of his guilt and how he sees himself as inherently bad and unworthy.

but in the roadmap of sin, thats only the beginning. because the process goes:

sin (bad) -> recognition of the bad aided by guilt (good) -> atonement to become better (good)

which leads to big reason #2

part 2: suffering, pain, and misery as atonement

it's important to note that catholicism does not posit that "suffering is good", but there is a clear pattern of veneration for people who endure suffering under noble causes. many, many people in catholic history have been martyred (and many also sainted), one of the biggest examples being jesus himself.

pain is not good, but someone who chooses to take it on for good reasons (self-sacrifice, martyrdom, putting others above one's self) or stays good in spite of all the pain they experienced (unwavering faith, a heart of gold), well, THAT person is good.

however, like a lot of stuff in catholicism, things get twisted into extreme variations because of how it gets taught or experienced. it doesnt take a genius to see how "people who endured pain for good reasons were brave and devoted people" can transform into "to experience pain is inherently noble" when you take into consideration that many sins (like, of the seven deadly sins variety, pride, sloth, lust, etc etc) are variations of indulgence.

specifically over-indulgence, yes, but there's a dichotomy now. here, in the list of Good Stuff are things that feel not-so-good, and over in the list of Bad Stuff are things that do feel good

bad stuff is a sin, and from part 1, sins are things you should be guilty for

and now, to feel good is also bad, so you should be guilty for that. which reinforces the concept that to feel bad is good.

congratulations, you've unintentionally glorified suffering and demonized pleasure! //sad trumpet noises

you can see this kind of thinking pretty clearly in luke pearce. there are the big examples like the previous one i brought up, where he feels so guilty for his feelings for mc. but it appears even in smaller casual situations, like in his 1st birthday event story. this moment was seared into my brain

"can i look forward to this?" is indicative of hesitating in the face of happiness. even something as mundane as anticipating a birthday surprise is something to be approached with caution, feels too good to be true, to be allowed, because feeling good is bad and luke doesnt see himself worthy of it

but okay, we're all guilty now of the horrible sin of enjoying life. what comes next? atonement, becoming better, growing from the bad to become good, right?

and what better way to cleanse one's self from the sin of feeling good but through the nobleness of enduring pain?

luke is guilty over the sin robbing burdening mc and her family -> thats okay he's leaving for college anyway! wont be able to burden them there -> oopsie the NSB happens but hey at least this lone wolf suffering is a great way to atone for his past sin -> oh god the guilt of abandoning mc though -> oh GOD the mission that killed everybody but him -> NEW ACHIEVEMENT: SURVIVOR'S GUILT ON TOP OF THE CATHOLIC GUILT! -> oh GOD he's even guiltier now of his feelings for mc because of his illness, he'll only bring pain to her, how selfish of him to have feelings like this, bad and wrong -> the best way to handle this is to stay away from her to let her live in peace (lacking the pain that luke will bring) and deprive himself of her who brings him joy (inflicting pain of separation onto sinner as punishment) -> the path to salvation (to being good, because only in being Good is someone worthy of love) is through constant suffering and endless self-deprivation

kinda insane how luke's self-perceived sins and self-inflicted sufferings gain compound interest of misery, but his spiral into self-loathing is littered with this kind of nonsensical "because i did [THING], i should deserve pain/NOT deserve happiness"

for luke, suffering became the mode of atonement, it became the solution for sin and guilt.

part 3: conclusion

to wrap this all up, i wanna make it clear that i dont necessarily think luke is like, catholic in the story. nor is even it a headcanon i have. it's more that the intensely self-punishing thought patterns luke has in relation to guilt and suffering are very, very familiar. it resonates in a way that is horridly relatable to people who have experienced these specific catholic experience woes, but it can also resonate in completely different ways to other people as well.

but given that....yeah. based on my own experiences, all this //gestures at too-long response, is why i keep using catholic language and imagery whenever i talk about luke. it's so familiar. he's so familiar. luke would not be out of place in a filipino catholic high school crying during a 3 day retreat

thanks for the ask!!!

[mikasuxxx]

Random MW2 Headcanons

TW: Heavy angst, mentions of abuse, mentions of insecurities possibly?

This was very long but it was worth it!!!

Soap

If and whever he does settle down and gets married, he's definitely wearing a kilt at his wedding. And he's probably gonna have the wedding in the countryside of Scotland

He has a BIG family. Like half the people in his hometown are related to him

He got baby fever from being around his baby nieces and nephews, and his friends' kids too

His mother is the absolute sweetest, his father is kinda grumpy (he just needs to warm up to you

Neither of them speak english, they speak with a heavy scot accent. But they genuinely care about you as their son's spouse

He's terrible at playing the bagpipe

He's a heavy sleeper. Like he hibernates and sometimes rolls over on top of you crushing you with his weight. Which would be fine in winter but in the summer? good luck cause he aint moving for another 4 hours

It gets worse when he becomes a dad. he suddenly snores in his sleep and sneezes loud asf

he loves orange cake and angel food. idk he just seems like he'd like it

He likes metal music, esp bands like System of a Down

In the very early 2000s, when Soap was in college, there were students walking around campus with a camera interviewing students about what they want to do after college for a class project. Around the middle beginning of the video you can see young Soap, pre-mohawk, being interviewed and speaking in fluent scottish.

He said something along the lines of wanting to become a famous soccer player and winning the world cup, and his backup plan would be culinary school

The video is still out there somewhere, low quality, and was originally posted on the college website. However, the college he used to go to shut down, the website, along with the video were also gone with it.

But the website was up for a good amount of years before the school shut down, and a few people recall seeing the video before ìt shut down. Meaning there was a window of time where it could have been archived.

Nobody knows where though. People tried to look for it, for reasons not related to soap, creating a very niche community of people looking for a lost interview video tape that is decades old

Meaning that the video of young college student soap being interviewed is considered lost media. And will remain that way until someone can find it somehow

Anyways, he has long forgotten about the video, so he's very oblivious to the fact that there are people out there looking for a video ages old that includes him

He later ended up dropping out of college and joining the military after realizing he has more brawn than brain

He's still sad that his dreams never came to fruition. Dont get him wrong, he loves his co-workers and he prefers his current job over an office job any day, but he wishes he went through with his dreams

He felt like he wasnt smart enough for anything that involved school

his grades in high school really werent the best, just barely enough to get him to graduate

His sibilings were (according to him) more accomplished, one of them being an accountant, another one being a successful lawyer, the other becoming a short story writer.

He eventually learned to accept it within himself, and he knows that the abilities he was born with are normal things to have and are still very useful, and not being booksmart doesnt necessarily make him of any less value

He's still a very important part of the 142 task force, and his co-workers are very grateful to have him on the team. (even Ghost himself said it)

Ghost

He canonically has a nephew and a sister in law, both of which hes never met

He just left his home behind and went to join the military to escape the torment and abuse of his father and brother

The only reason he even know about the existence of his SIL and nephew is through letters that his mother used to send him after he left.

His mother was the only one who ever really cared for him

In fact, he felt so guilty for leaving her behind to deal with the abuse of his dad and his brother. She would always state in her letters how happy she is that he got out

Whenever his dad would go into one of his raging fits she would always try to stop him, but to no avail

Simon was still grateful for her effort. He knew it wasnt her fault

She would mention how his nephew looks so much like him, especially when he was baby.

It made him think about what could've been. Would the kid even want to meet him, let alone want someone like himself as an uncle?

No. is what he always said to himself whenever that question came up in his mind.

Eventually his brother would move away and completely cut contact with his mom, preventing her from seeing her grandson.

She never saw them again after that

One day, he would receive a letter from his mother informing him that his dad finally passed away.

He remembers it vividly, how in that moment he felt nothing but rage. How time suddenly seemed to stop in its tracks, how he wanted nothing but to beat something or someone into a pulp.

He's not angry because he died

The fucker died in his sleep

Way too peaceful for a piece of shit like him. He's angry because the man who made him and his mother suffer for years got to go out the easy way when he should have been suffering in his final moments

it was just unfair

His mom would also send cards on holidays or his birthday

But the letters along with the cards would be sent less and less often, until eventually they stop completely

He finds out later that his mother had died due to some terminal illness.

He should have seen it coming. in the last letter she had sent, she kept stating how much she loves him and how much she wants to see him.

It was her saying goodbye, and he didnt even realize it

She never mentioned it in any of the letters because she didnt want him to worry about her

He was so lost and devastated. No tears would come out when he tried to cry

He'd become more violent and aggressive during combat on missions as a form of release

People around him were concerned, but none bothered to talk to him. He was too intimidating. Even if he wasnt he wouldn't open up to anyone about such a sensitive topic

He still misses his mom dearly every day. He mourns her every year on mother's day and her birthday

As a (much healtheir) way to cope, he'd write his feelings down and details about his day in the form of letters to his mom. Letters that will never be sent

He ended up tracking down where her gravesite was, and went to visit her.

He stayed there for a while. Just...standing at her gravestone, unable to say anything

He contemplated tracking down his brother and beating the living shit out of him since hes much stronger now. He decided it wasnt worth it and went back to base

He'd visit his mom's grave and leave flowers, sometimes He'd clean her gravestone if he finds that its dirty

At some point he just started talking to her. He found it relaxing

Alejandro

He has a little sister who is in college studying biomedical science!

His other sister is studying oncology, shes hoping to be able to discover and research more about rare cancers

His younger brother swears up and down he's gonna be a famous athlete one day

This man absolutely loves his mother and would die for her, same thing with his sibilings

He vists them as often as he can, bringing his sibilings their favorite snacks and a gift for his mom, every single time

He has vivid memories of his childhood with his sibilings

He clearly remembers walking to the store when he was little, holding his mom's hand the whole time while looking around

At the time it used to be a routine that she would buy him his favorite candy on the way out when she's done buying groceries, and she would do the same for his sibilings

Him and his younger sister (the 2nd oldest, the one who's studying oncology. Their other younger sister was always excluded because she was too young they didnt wanna babysit while they were out with their friends lol) were trouble makers

During the summers they would somehow convince their mom (after a lot of begging, ofc) to let them go out to the small convenience store by themselves to buy snacks

They would go on their bikes, which should take less time to get to there since its right new their house, but they just kept goofing around

Alejandro always ends up buying everything other than snacks

His sister is always like "Okay but if you get hungry dont expect me to share my snacks with you"

He steals them from her anways lmaooo

At the store Alejandro would buy more useless but weird toys from the front register, like sticky hands, those yo-yos with the roll of gum in em, tiny toy soldiers, and most importantly, firecrackers

Alejandro as a kid had a very weird obsession with firecrackers

Whenever he played with the neighborhood kids he'd bring the box of firecrackers with him, in the front pocket of his shorts (he will never again make the mistake of leaving them in his back pocket or the basket on his bike as they were always missing when it was time to go back home)

He'd try to get his friends to come out of their house to go play outside by throwing firecrackers outside their house

big mistake because one of them had a big ass dog chained near the backyard and he started barking loud as hell and almost jumped him.

One summer, during a dry heat, Alejandro and his sister were hanging about outside, and he was throwing firecrackers at random directions out of boredom. One of them landed on someone's dry lawn and it popped, started smoking, and eventually started a fire on their lawn

Alejandro and his sister never booked it home so fast in their lives. their legs were cramping from going so fast on their bikes

As a little kid, he was put in church choir, maybe also music lessons?

At their house, theres a framed picture of little Alejandro, around 5 or 6 years old, standing in the living room dressed up in a suit that was slightly too big for him with a big ass bowtie, as he was about to go and sing in church

Also near that photo, is an ofrenda for their father, with candles put around it which were lit occasionally by their mother

Every Dia de los Muertos they will put their late father's favorite foods on it, along with sugar skulls, tamales, pan de muerto, and some flowers.

All food that is put on his ofrenda is made by their mother from scratch with the help of the kids, every single year year.

Even to this day, even when they're adults, they all chip in to help out their mom make the food. It brings them closer together as a family

When Alejandro was a teen, he saved up some money to go buy a cassette player (im really not sure how old he is nor do i know what else besides cassette players and ipods they used to play music so bare with me for a sec) and his mom made him share it with his sibilings since they didnt have enough money to buy one for everyone

he was pretty stingy about sharing it. was absolutely pissed when his youngest sister ended up losing it

he always loved exploring random abandoned places, like abandoned asylums and whatnot, especially with his friends

He ended up seeing some spooky shit that terrified him from going back for a while

eventually his mom found out, and her absolutely HATING anything to do with spirits and ghosts, she forbid him from exploring abandoneded places. Also because shes obviously concerned for his safety

Gaz

He had a pretty good childhood on the opposite side of England that ghost used to live in

He was very out going in primary school, had lots of friends

he lost a lot of them by the time he entered middle school and high school though

He has a younger brother whom he always used to destroy at video games. like every single time he'd beat his ass in a 1v1

He'd sometimes eat his leftovers just cause

They rough house and wrestle a lot, especially when they were younger. when they got older they eventually evolved to just doing basic arm wrestling lmaoo

When Kyle was younger, when his mom was away at work his dad used to take him out to the coffee shop and he'd always, always get a juice or chocolate milk drink

Sometimes they'd go to the park and he'd take his soccer ball with him, and they'd just play soccer in the grass

Or sometimes they'd go get ice cream

When his brother was born, they did the same thing, but him also being pretty young at the time, was jealous thinking that his dad's attention was being stolen from him by a baby

Little kyle ended up absolutely loving his baby brother and would adamantly refuse to go anywhere without him

"I told you they'd get along, it was just a matter of time" Said his mom one day to his dad, while they were in the car, driving home from a restaurant. him and his younger brother were in the back, sitting their booster seats fast asleep.

"I guess you were right then. How do you do that?" replied the dad with a smile, looking over at his wife sitting next to him. "i know them like the back of my hand" she said, smiling back, looking at her sons through the rear view mirror sleeping soundly in the back

Kyle and his little brother used to be best friends, like there was a time where they became inseparable

As they grew older, as kyle became a young adult and his brother became a teen, they started growing apart

Eventually Kyle went into the military, despite protests from his parents, who were deathly afraid of something happening to him during service

He still kept in touch with them, he would occasionally set up a skype video call and they'd all talk for hours about everything

Him and his brother would play online multiplayer games together from time to time.

Their relationship isnt what it used to be, but its still there. Neither of them seems to want to address it

At some point in high school, Kyle had his first love

He loved her more than anything, she made him feel so happy and loved, and it felt like his heart was about to explode with hoe much love he harbored for her

But, he would also end up experiencing his first hearbreak, and him having no prior experience with relationships, it broke him

He spiraled into a deep depression. He thought he had done everything he could to please her and make her happy, and in the end it still wasnt enough

He wasted so many hours and days of his life wondering why, what he could have done wrong to make her leave him

He eventually learned it was a waste of time trying to find the reason why, and just accepted it as a part of life, and moved on

He still hopes that deep down that she would come back and they could have a second chance at a relationship, but in the meanwhile he's trying to focus on himself

His relationship with his family, his co-workers, working on himself, whether it was physically or mentally.

He hopes one day he will find the right person for him, someone who sees him and efforts as enough. Someone who can appreciate him and whom he can appreciate back

On another note, he always wanted to go to college to study astronomy or astrophysics, or something along those lines. He always had an avid love and fascination for space

Unfortunately, he's more english and history smart, rather than math and science smart

He's good at english and history, but he finds those subjects boring and wishes he was really good at math and science.

[carpedzem]

Share your thoughts queen!

i just hate that people are pointing fingers like stolas i my favourite character as well but then i see stolos blaming blitzo for everything like nooooo stolas is 100% guilty of putting them in this situation he was just dumb and didnt know better and it makes sense with how his life looks like but it doesnt make blitzo hurt and reaction any less valid >:(((( anyway danny motta you have one last chance if full moon reaction is shit im unsubscribing