#but mom was like ''yeah no she was dead serious and she wouldn't let me take you out of her arms''

[arrowheadedbitch]

Okay, I just spent, like over two hours talking about how a Leanna Firestone song (Tourniquet) is perfect for Shawn and I'll be damned if I don't make a post out of it so here we go, buckle up

Okay first of all, here's the song

Enjoy, it is VERY good

So let's get into this, yeah?

This includes my suicide attempt hc that I mentioned in a previous post in it

I have been listening to this song on loop and it's making me go just a touch feral

"You can get a new car, but you can't forget the way it sounds or feels to crash

High speed impact

Normally the first person I'd call was my dad"

But im imagining that hc/story we were talking about yesterday, so change the words tooooo.....🥁🥁🥁

"You can get a new car, but you can't forget the way it sounds or feels to crash

High speed impact

ALL BECAUSE THE FIRST PERSON I callED was my dad" AUDHDBJEHEJSJDJEJ

But, later on, I realised that the song ACTUALLY says "NO POLICE, the first person I called was my dad" NOT normally, which hits different in this context but doesn't actually change much

And like, him yelling it in front of everyoneeeee

Henry is THERE

They're all like....what do you mean by that...

He will not elaborate but now they know that apparently something bad happened to him because he called his dad?

"Shawn, what are you talking about"

Shawn does the dramatic "I said something I shouldn't have" hand over mouth clasp

He freezes, he stumbles over his words, then he makes a run for it

Everyone is just standing there confused as hell

It's such a not shawn thing to yell out and do tho that even Henry is slightly concerned

Or maybe just confused

Or offended at the implication that he somehow hurt shawn so bad with some random phonecall

And now there are a bunch of people needling him to tell them about wtf he was talking about

Pressuring him to tell them about this traumatic event

ESPECIALLY Gus, who would normally be in the loop about something like this so he's extremely concerned and maybe even a little hurt that Shawn won't tell him

Even Henry, who usually doesn't give a shit about this kind of thing, is trying to get it out of him

He mostly just wants to know what the hell shawn is blaming him for this time lol

But he doesn't get how serious this is

None of them do, that's why they keep trying to get it out of him

They just assume it's another one of those silly things he always has going on, not, yknow....SUICIDE

Not even his mom knows, maybe they'd try to call his mom bc he tells her pretty much everything and find out she ALSO doesn't know

Then they're like....Gus doesn't know......his mom doesn't know.....holy shit maybe this is serious

"Some people die before they're dead!

Building collapse, pressure outweighs the pain

I don't feel sad

I don't feel ANYTHING

Only will when the blood returns

But I'd rather be numb then know how bad I'm hurt"

Someone save my boy

He is emotionally constipated

His mom also might fly down to figure out what's happening after she gets that call

So now literally EVERYONE is bugging him about this

Poor Shawn, there's even a THERAPIST needling him about this traumatic event now 😭😭😭

And everybody wants to know

At this pace he's gonna become a hermit so he doesn't have to tell anyone 😭😭😭😭

"So, I'll keep the tourniquet on

I'll block it out and off

Cuz I don't need anyone

I don't need anyone

I don't need anyone at all

If I keep the tourniquet on"

I think all of this would lead to Shawn blowing up on then, maybe he'd say something that accidentally gives away more of what happened but I don't think he'll be able to bring himself to actually say out loud what happened, at least not to them

Because, well, emotional constipation, anyone?

He wouldn't talk about his feelings at gun point

"Maybe we always start

Back where we end

Don't know if I'm God

Or if I'm sisyphus"

But maybe change to

"I try to act like God

But I'm just sisyphus"

Or something similar

Now, to get into a SECOND POINT ABOUT THE SAME SONG HAHA!

So, this first part has been about Shawn saying the stuff in the song or just really good lines that he would relate to

But this next part is more of an....application for all of this

Imagine with me, if you will

Shawn does a few artsy stuff like....drawing that he doesn't really like to show off a lot, so imagine this,

/Shawn would totally be a good songwriter/

Imagine he wrote a few songs as more of like journal/vent things and he never wants them to see the light of day

This is while him and Jules are together btw

So, Juliet finds out about the songs, he tries to brush them off bc he doesn't like to think about them and he doesn't want her to see them, that kind of thing, but she reads it as insecurity

This is the same woman who went around Lassies back to plan him a birthday party and accidentally invited a bunch of criminals, so, I don't think it's that big a stretch that she would try to do something to make him feel better about his music and go behind his back a little to do it so she can *surprise* him

She grabs the first complete song she can get her hands on, maybe glances through it but makes the mistake of not reading it thoroughly and submits it to a song writing competition, if it loses, Shawn will never know, if it wins, boom! Boost in his self esteem about his songs!

A win-win plan, really

And the song she grabbed was the Shawn version of Tourniquet we've been talking about, obviously

Yeah, it's *her* turn to do something for *him* with good intentions that ends up being awful, she's not gonna be in the doghouse for this one...she's going straight to the pound

The prize for winning the contest? Well, a celebrity sings it of course!

And...well Juliet may have overlooked that it's sung.....on live television...

All classic song writing prizes, maybe you can win a record deal and a bunch of money too or whatever

Not that Shawn would care about any of that

Anyways, her and Shawn go to the place where they're announcing the winners, you know? Big party. Shawn doesn't know what it's about but he's having fun, probably solving a case here too!

But then he wins....

It's the big finale, announce the winner and sing the song on stage and on camera

"And, this song will be our grand finale! The winning song of the song writing contest will be revealed and sung!" So the singer gets on stage and Shawn is all smiles until he hears "And this song is...🥁🥁🥁 Tourniquet by Shawn Spencer!"

And Shawn is going through all the stages of grief, he turns to Jules all "What the fuck did you do" (Perhaps first time she hears him legit cuss??) [Ty Luka]

And suddenly Juliet realises that she should have read the lyrics a bit closer before submitting it

It's the first time she's seen him ANGRY because he is about to get angry

They get in an argument, Shawn storms off, she feels bad

But, the song was on LIVE TELEVISION

Everyone saw it! Everyone HEARD them attribute it to him!

And they don't know he wasn't in on it! They have no reason to believe he's upset about winning!

So, when he shows up at the station, everyone is trying to talk to him about it!

It's AWFUL

Gus is asking about it, but he stopped pretty quick when he noticed how pissed Shawn seemed about it

Henry's been calling him

He's been not answering, obviously

Juliet tries to talk it out with shawn but he's not having it right now, "Shawn, I-"

"You, shut up, you are in the /pound/!"

"*gasp* the pound?"🥺😢

"THE POUND"

And Lassie was gonna give him a hard time and ask questions but he saw that interaction and realised that he shouldn't touch this with a five foot fucking pole

The precinct feels oddly tense today because well....no one's ever seen SHAWN SPENCER so ANGRY

Or really angry at all

He really powers through solving this case and is actually pretty scary the whole time and he won't talk to Jules, they are not in speaking terms right now

Anything that he would normally go to Jules about, he goes to Carlton and acts like she's not even there while he gets Lassiter to do whatever it is he needs

No fun nicknames either, but what really hits? When he HAS to address jules.....he calls her Detective O'hara

So she REALLY knows she's in trouble

Obviously she's gonna do anything she can to make it better, we know Jules

So she asks around for advice on what she should do

Talks to anyone who will listen really, Lassie, Gus, she even goes to Henry

[Side note, I've been imagining she heard the song, like it was playing all throughout so they could hear it a little muffled from the spot they were arguing at, but she probably missed a good chunk because of the arguing and talking, though her not having heard it would be a really interesting turn to take! She doesn't know what was wrong with the song, only the aftermath, that could be interesting]

Anyway, she gets mostly the same advice, let Shawn cool down and then work it out

But, since she talked to Henry, he now knows that not only did Shawn not submit that song, he's pissed that it played at all

Which will affect the way he treats Shawn when they inevitably talk later

Instead of thinking Shawn did this to get back at him, he knows these were private thoughts that were shared against his will, so he'll be a little less defensive and accusatory

Gus doesn't know what exactly the song was about, but he gets to be the most in the know since he's the only person Shawn is really actually talking to right now

A lot of ranting to Gus about this, of course

Lassie has the least know of the situation because an angry shawn is a startlingly untalkative shawn

Shawn takes a week or two to stop being so completely pissed

He talks to Henry at some point, they probably have a moment or something, but he won't tell anyone what the song was meant to be about

Eventually he calms down enough to let Jules talk to him again and she gets to apologize profusely and work her way off the shit list

And now everyone knows about the depth to shawns character that he didn't want them to know about so he'll just have to slowly chip away at that by going back to being the town idiot as usual

Maybe he agrees to sell his songs as long as his name doesn't go on any of them, I dunno

Everything goes back to normal...eventually, but it takes...a while

So shawn ends it just as emotionally constipated as before but now everyone KNOWS he's emotionally constipated

Everyone gets to go "holy shit, this kid actually has emotional depth?!?!??"

And Henry gets to sit and wonder what he did to Shawn that was a "crash", what phone call? What did he do?

And Yeah, most of them forget probably

But also, there's that inkling of.......is he really okay?

Always in the back of his friends minds

Because

They /heard/ the song

Juliet goes over board trying to make up for it in a way that's so endearing shawn can't help but smile

And forgive her, but only after the third pineapple/hj

Gus is a little concerned but he knows Shawn doesn't want to talk about it so he let's it go

Lassie tries not to pry but he's still feeling kind of awkward about it (what is he supposed to do in this situation? Anything? Should he even care? Should be be on O'Hara's side because they're friends? Shawn's side because he was the one wronged? Anyone's side at all? Should he say something? Welp, he just won't do anything, maybe)

Buzz has no idea what's going on but did try to comfort Shawn a few times and it was sweet

Buzz never knows what's going on with the main four but we love him anyway

Henry has the song on loop trying to figure out what he did and if there's something he should do or say about it

And someone should definitely get Shawn a therapist but they don't

And the whole song is soooooo about his dad

So about his dad it hurts

Tho Gus is a little offended at the "I don't need anyone" part and he makes sure his thoughts on that are known

"I spend every night

With the TV on

I can't bear to be

Alone with my own thoughts"

And now you guys won't be able to stop thinking about this either, MUAHAHAHAHA

To the people who talked to me on discord, thank you!

@mores0 @storm-cloud-lightning

And also @j-snapdragon who joined right at the end

[yuureimajo]

.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for threatening to become a girl's step dad to troll her into blocking me and stop dragging me in a group chat ? Jenny (23F) blew up because I (24NB) said she'd be a shitty social worker bc of her specific autism symptoms + class bg. My gf (45F) said it was warranted because of how  overwhelmed i got by the wall of text with triggering details of my abuse. I never told my GF that the fight started because Jenny called me a gold digger. I also never mentioned that I ended it an hour later by posting pics of Jenny's mom in the chat, ignoring her ranting and discussing the vacancy left by her dead dad*, and how i could fill said vacancy. 😬😬😬 Might of gone too far with this one.

Backstory: I lived with Jenny when I was houseless indefinitely. She only let me stay for two weeks because it would be too "distracting" to her studies. Jenny was incredibly rich, didn't work, and her parents paid her rent for a 2 bedroom. She admitted she got rejected from every grad school she applied to except for the one her mom was in charge of. Her mom bought her a condo in the city the school was in. She kept asking me how she should decorate it, completely ignorant to how uncomfortable this made me and my other friends. Jenny was oblivious constantly to how she made others feel. She was actually the most incompetent person I've ever met in terms of comforting other, always tone deaf and completely absorbed with her own, single traumatic event. She made constant jokes about the abuser I was fleeing and even compared this stalked to a /serial killer/ documentary she watched, but never EVER showed any signs of internalizing how I almost lost my life to another person, how that might affect me or even just bum me out. Seriously, I've never met someone else who was so incapable of even being sensitive to issues that were /EXTREMELY SERIOUS/. Forget comforting, the stuff she routinely said to me and my other friends to try to cheer us up was beyond degrading. It was wearing on me a lot.

Jenny herself was neurodivergent. She often said her autism prevented her from understanding the feelings others had, reading their expressions, and tolerating crying or loud noise-- she forbid her musician roommate from doing both. None of those mean shes a worthless person, but all of those things would make someone a horrible therapist or social worker. Oh my God, literally every time I talked about my recent trauma, she would talk about herself and then blame her autism when I told her it just wasn't helping.

The final piece of this was I had a nervous breakdown and screamed at her over discord that she was a shit friend and needed to give up on social work, for like an hour. NOT MY PROUDEST, but I ALMOST DIED. I was living with her because SOMEONE WAS STALKING ME. and I would have liked to not have my abuse JOKED about. HOW DID JENNY RESPOND!? She began dragging me, through the mud, in the group chat, for, dating, an, older, woman, who, paid, for, my, air bnb, because, !!!she!!! wouldn't let me live with her for more than a week. I was HOMELESS. It became all about "OP you are such a b*tch, you are with a woman twice your age and she pays for everything now but you are still a miserable and angry person. You are so blah blah blah you are an ableist, you said I can't become a social worker bc of autism blah blah blah you have major major issues, Go back your rich granny and leech off of her you useless, fucked up little gold digger."

U_U Then, she started graphically describing how I deserved my abuse, so I shrimply began to troll. And yes, I pulled out my magnum oppus like fucking playing blue eyes white dragon, oh yeah I slipped her a pristine Jenny's mom facebook photo and said "Hey you never said your mom was so cute. Maybe, I could leech off her next and become your new dad." Yes, her dad died.* She blocked me immediately. Its OK. It was knives out for Jenny as soon as my GF gifted me a pair of $700 Isabel Marant shoes** , the most EXPENSIVE thing ive ever owned in my whole life, and Jenny saw me excited and called her mom to buy her a pair. It's, absolutely OK, if I am the asshole. I wear my crown of thorns, judas that I am, but I really, really think Jenny was being cruel. *he died 18 years ago ** the shoes are no more because i fell into my gf's rich friend's koi pond

[livepasthope]

r/Relationships

u/catholic_firefighter

I (M36) saw someone who looks like my dead wife (F26) while out with my son (M13) and my girlfriend (F40).

So, some context. I'm a single father, my wife died a few years back after she got hit by a car. We got married at 18 because she got pregnant and then I enlisted in the army. Fast forward a few years after I re-upped a few times (it's not important why), my wife abandoned me and our son. I moved to LA and met my crew and my best friend (M32). A few months into living there, I had to reach out to my wife for an application thing (it's a long story) and we ended up sleeping together. My son was so happy to see her return. Then we thought she might be pregnant again so I was planning to re-propose to her (because I love her not because of the pregnancy), so I planned this whole dinner. But at that dinner she told me she actually wanted a divorce. And that she didn't think she could be a mom to our son, let alone a new baby. Then, before we could really resolve any of that, she got hit by a car and died.

So fast forward to the present, I'm still single, I mean I have that girlfriend (F40), but I'm basically single and haven't really had any serious relationships. The three of us (my gf, my son, and I) were out the other day and I saw this woman (F38) working in a shop who looks exactly like my dead wife. I was shocked, to be honest. I just couldn't stop thinking about her and my dead wife. I remembered the last time we (me and my dead wife) had sex, it was great, I talked about how happy my son would be now that his mom was back. (I was happy too, obviously, she was my wife! And we'd just had sex, which I love, sex with my wife I mean. It was the only good sex I've ever really had, haha, I mean I did marry the first girl I slept with so what can I expect. And I haven't really been having sex with my current girlfriend, but that's just because of the whole ex-nun thing.)

Anyway now I'm at this restaurant waiting for this woman from the shop (F38) to meet me for dinner, and I can't help but feel like I'm doing something wrong. I can't even tell who I'm betraying, but I know what I'm doing is wrong, I know that something about me is wrong, but I can't figure out what. Any advice?

Edit: Of course my son doesn't know anything about this, my best friend (M32) is watching him and they both think I'm out with my girlfriend.

Edit: Y'all are so kind, but I haven't been raising my son all on my own, I have the help of my best friend (M32).

Edit: Everyone saying that I'm an irresponsible father since I'm a single parent in a dangerous profession, y'all don't have the full context. I absolutely wouldn't risk leaving my son to be an orphan, that's why if anything were to happen to me, my best friend (M32) would get full custody.

Edit: I thought this would be pretty clear from context... but I'm heterosexual? Like, I made this post for advice on my relationship with my girlfriend and my dead wife's doppelganger? Dont get me wrong, I'm a huge ally! My best friend even just came out as bi and I think that's great! But yeah, I'm straight so...

Edit: Yeah the friend that came out as bi is the same friend that gets custody of my son, not really sure how that's relevant though.

[iitsfj]

You're my everything

Yandere wally × gn reader

(This story was inspired while i was chatting with an ai character loll)

Warning: in this story wally is a menace, manulptive, and a bit romantic

You were trapped, Wally has killed everyone in the neighborhood and now you’re trapped in his house, along with Home who only speaks with noises. One day you were sitting alone in the spare room Wally had for you then you hear a knock on the door “Darling? May I come in?”

With a sad and fear tone you said "yes, you may.....dear"

walks into the room with a big smile on my face, my eyes wide "Good my dear! I hope I'm not interrupting anything!" I say with a sweet tone as I walk over to a drawer, then I pull out a ring "I wanted to make this special...." He gets down on one knee, looking into your eyes with the ring box open "My dear....would you be the one to become my wife?" I say as I slowly move my hand up, a tear forming in my eye as I wait for your response

You was shocked, dont know how to respond thinking twice what would happened if you said no to him, you thought to yourself 'would he kill me if i said no?' Repeatedly echoing through your thought

It was silence for second and you have no choice

He Smiles and places the ring on your finger, then he pick you up and he hold you close to me "My dear...you've made me the happiest man in the world...." his breathing is heavy as he let you have the ring, it was a simple silver band with a blue stone on it "Now, let's prepare our selves for the wedding!"

Before you could say anything you just accept your fate, and nod at him in silent.

He Smiles softly, then he set you down "You

know I love you right?" I lean closer to you, our noses touching "We'll always be together...forever and ever my dear" he kiss your cheek "We'll be so happy together"

You wanted to look at him in the eyes but couldn't, those deep black eyes making you nervous feels like just a dead empty void wanted to suck you in

You look down with a fake smile "ye..yeah.. of course" i said with a little bit nervous tone

He Smiles at your fake smile, then he pull up your chin and say "I'm never gonna let anything hurt you my dear." He say as he kiss your forehead, as his hand reaching to wipe the sweat off your brow "I'm gonna take the best care of you my love...now come with me, my mom is making some clothes for our wedding-" he Gives you his hand as I say this

You only just nod, feeling disgusted for every word he said

Gripping your hand, as he lead you out of the room then he notice you looking disgusted.

"What's wrong my love? Why are you looking at me like that?" He Stops and says in a serious tone, his grip on your hand tightening slightly

You look at wally,you were a bit panic and trying to think of an excuse "ah- is nothing.. really im just feeling a bit dizzy and nervous you know after you propose it was shocking.. haha" you let out a nervous laugh.

He look at you suspiciously before letting go of your hand "Is that so?....maybe we should go to the doctor then?" He say.

then look at you, you felt like he was staring in to your soul "You wouldn't be lying to me right?"

You tried not to panic hiding it "ah no need for a doctor ..dear just a small dizziness ,a glass of water would be fine that's all" you smiled at him and gripping his hand softly.

He Chuckles softly, then he squeeze your hand tight "Let's get you some water then.." he said as he start to lead you down the hall "We have this wonderful wedding to prepare for! My mother told me she was making us some clothes, didn't she tell you?" Stops and asks you, his eyes dilating slightly then he smile.

"I suppose no? I didn't knew this was coming it was such a surprise dear" you look at him with a tilt head.

"Silly love!" He say in a teasing and sweet tone, he smile as my fingers fiddle with yours "Now come on, I'm sure you're dying to see the clothes my mommy made." Giggles quietly, then we arrived at the living room, wally's mom was there preparing the dresses "Ah mommy! Here's my love!" He say as wally pull you next to him then he rub the back of my neck in an awkward way "This is my soon to be wife....what do you think?" He ask her

"Isn't she pretty?"

I thought to myself just to play along then getting killed by him or worse.

"hello, ms.darling.." i smiled

Wally's mom smiled, she seemed kind and sweet. She had blue faded hair, with soft blue eyes, and she is dressed with a casual pretty dress.

Wally's mom has a soft smile on her face "Pleasure to meet you....I hope Wally has been treating you well?" She says with a quiet voice, as she takes a seat on the couch, you could see the dresses already lay out on the table with the veil too.

You nod " he has been the sweetest to me, you raised him well ms.darling"

You take a look on your wedding dress it actually looks beautiful, you face was amazed by ms.darling hand made dress.

You see Wally's eyes dilating by how happy you look, his face seems to have lit up as soon as he saw the joy in your eyes. "You like it right my dear...?" Says with a sweet tone, looking at you as you look at the dress, then he turns towards his mother with a big smile "What do you say? Are they perfect?" He says with some excitement in the room as ms.darling smiles and nods him slightly.

"Yes, perfect for her..." She says in a soft and comforting voice.

You only nod looking at wally "it's really beautiful, i loved it " you tried to smile brightly.

Wally notices your fake smile, and walks over to you, his face getting closer to yours, and he whispers into your ear, your heart pounds heavily as you hear him say "Stop making that fake smile and show me the real one......." His eyes dilate as he waits for your response.

Your hand we're shaking a bit, with a small voice you only could reply "yes.. dear" to him.

"Good, now let's try it on, you'll be so pretty..." he said it with soft and sweet tone.

You see a little smile forming on Wally's lips, his pupils dilating slightly. His mother gets up and brings you the dress and the veil in her arms "Here you go my dear..." She says with a smile "Do you need any help changing?" she asks you, her voice gentle and kind.

You were comforted by wally's mother voice, it calms you a bit "thank you,it looks perfect! And i think there's no need ms. Darling i could take care of myself" you look at her with a warm smile.

Wally's mother smiles, then she says "Alrighty then...I'll be in the kitchen if you need anything. I know how hard wedding days can be!" She says this then she leaves the room and heads to the kitchen as Wally holds out his arm "Come on honey, I'll help you change into your dress" Walks to the bedroom then he sits on the bed, waiting for you to change in the bathroom "Come on, I can't wait for the wedding day!"

You sigh in acceptance, and thinking you need a better plan to escape this place, from HIM.

You hold your the dress in your hand and look at wally "uhh, could you look back for a minute dear,I'll need to take off my clothes I'll tell you when im done putting it on" you nervously ask for a little bit privacy.

He lets out an annoyed sigh, then he stands up and walks backwards, never taking his eyes off you "Alright! I'm looking away now." A grin forms on his lips, then he sighs "Hurry up, I wanna get this day started." He says this, in a loving way. You can't help but feel a bit uncomfortable as you change for a moment, then after a little bit you speak "Alright! I'm done, you can turn around now." You say with a soft tone, waiting for Wally to turn around.

"Sooo what do you think?" You spin around in your wedding dress and stop looking at him wait on his reponse.

His jaw drops,(even though he's a puppet lol) he looks at you, his eyes dilating and his smile growing, he walks towards you "You're beautiful darling...." He says this, before he wraps his arms around you and pulls you closer, his eyes still wide open in amazement, his pupils dilating, a smile spreads across his face as he looks at you "You're my everything..." He says this before leaning in and kissing you passionately.

[dwobbitfromtheshire]

The Right Place in Time

Summary: What if Steve was in the woods with Chrissy and Eddie getting weed for his headaches?

@disrespectedgoatman @estrellami-1 @darkrose517 @panicatthediaz @mandriice @nightmareglitter

Chapter One - Chapter Two - Chapter Three - Chapter Four - Chapter Five - Chapter Six - Chapter Seven - Chapter Eight - Chapter Nine - Chapter Ten - Chapter Eleven

Chapter Twelve

Eddie's POV

Jesus H Christ! He buried his face into Chrissy's neck as they drove back to the Byers. It was completely quiet. The only sound was Steve fingers tapping against the steering wheel. Even Dustin was quiet in the back seat. Lucas chose to ride with Wayne and Max. Chrissy had her feet in Steve's lap again so that she was touching him. Eddie was pretty sure they were all shaking. He never wanted to see Red like that again. He remembered the first time he really talked to her and how she was sitting on the steps of her trailer, trying to act like she hadn't been crying. He approached cautiously, but she still looked skittish.

"Just because we listen to the same music doesn't mean that we are the same," Eddie had said and paused. "Not to speak ill of the dead or anything."

"Wouldn't have anything nice to say about him anyway. . .except for the fact that he saved my friend's life in the fire," Max said. "How do you know?"

"He brought you once to pick up his drugs. You were asleep. I thought it was shitty of him to leave you sleeping in the car without rolling down any of the windows. Didn't say anything, though. One look from that dude scared me shitless," Eddie told her and paused again. "You can still hate him for what he did, you know? One good thing doesn't necessarily erase all the bad. It would take a lot more good things to do that. Holding onto that hate, though? Means he wins, he got under your skin. If you ever decide to forgive him, it should be on your terms. . .not on his."

"Aren't you a thousand year old senior? How the hell are you so smart?" Max said, and Eddie had laughed. "My mom is snoring. I think she's asleep. She drinks a lot, I hate it when she drinks."

Eddie let her know then that they kept the door unlocked, so if she had ever wanted a place to hide out at their place, it was available, as was Granny Ecker's. After that, Wayne would walk out of the trailer for a "smoke break" whenever she did come over and would clean up her mom so she wouldn't have to. Both Max and Eddie knew immediately what he was up to. Like his uncle, apparently, Eddie was a sucker for lost sheep, and Max Mayfield was a lost sheep. He wasn't going to lose her.

"Whatcha thinking about?" Chrissy's voice broke through his thoughts.

"Max," Eddie said, his voice thick with emotion.

"Me too," Chrissy said.

"We're going to stop this bastard," Steve said, his voice thick as well.

Eddie glanced at him, and he could tell Steve was seconds away from crying. He placed his hand on the back of Steve’s neck and watched as he leaned back into his touch. Steve sighed as Eddie caressed the back of his neck. When they pulled into the driveway, Wayne was pulling in behind them, which was crazy because he had left with Max first. The explanation came when Max climbed out with Lucas, licking an ice cream cone. Eddie raised an eyebrow at his uncle.

"What? She was upset. When you're upset, you get an ice cream cone," Wayne said. "I don't make the rules, son."

"If you wanted an ice cream cone, you should have gotten possessed by an evil wizard," Max shrugged and stuck her tongue out at Eddie.

She was still shakey and pale, but Eddie could tell the ice cream was helping. He laughed and ruffled her hair before walking back into the house. Of course, Gareth opened his mouth to complain about the ice cream, but when he saw the serious look on Eddie's face, he stopped.

"Shit. What happened?" Gareth asked.

Eddie gave them the rundown on what happened, and Gareth cursed.

"You okay, Red?" Jeff asked, and Max shrugged. "Yeah, I get that."

"So, now what?" Frank asked.

"Now, we wait until the others get back," Wayne said. "Decide what we're going to do next."

They waited for them in a tense but comfortable silence. Max was finishing her ice cream while leaning against Wayne's arms. Eddie smiled softly. It was nice that Max had an adult to lean on, and Wayne was a good parental figure to have around. The secret knock came a few moments later, and the others came into the house.

"I'm just thankful I'm back in my own clothes again," Robin said.

"You definitely look a lot better," Vickie said with a grin. "Very se - oh!"

Chrissy had gotten up and thrown herself into Vickie's arms, hugging her tightly.

"What happened?" Nancy asked.

"Vecna tried to come after Max," Steve scowled. "Luckily, she had her Walkman with her."

"Yes, you were right about the music connection, Wayne," Nancy said.

"Pretty smart for a Munson," Wayne said proudly.

"Probably the smartest in the room, I'd say," Max said, and Nancy laughed.

"Hey!" Eddie exclaimed. "You're lucky you get a pass, Red."

"Vecna is definitely the one who killed Victor Creel's family. He went after Victor's trauma from World War 2, and from the way Victor described it, his family was killed exactly the way Fred was," Nancy shivered, and Vickie squeezed her shoulder.

"Why the hell is he doing this?" Frank asked.

"Do you think maybe he's trying to get into our world from the Upside Down?" Dustin asked with a frown.

"You think he's possibly using people to form gateways?" Nancy asked.

"Maybe," Dustin shrugged.

"When Barb disappeared, it was quick. I didn't even hear her scream. She was sitting by the pool, and then she was gone. He could have used her to open a gate," Nancy said. "And then a demogorgon dragged her in the Upside Down. I never wanted to look at Steve's pool after that so I didn't."

"You think he's been trying to get out since then," Dustin said.

"Wait, what about in 84? Why didn't he try to get out then too? When the sickness was spreading and the demodogs created those tunnel things?" Steve asked.

"Maybe it wasn't big enough," Dustin said.

"Shit," Nancy cursed.

"What?" Eddie asked.

"No, it's a stupid theory," Nancy said.

"There's nothing stupid here, darling," Wayne encouraged. "Go on."

"I think it's possible that he might be trying to bring the Upside Down into Hawkins," Nancy said. "Make this place his own or maybe build it for El. That's what the Mind Flayer said before. That he wanted to build it for her."

"Shit," everyone cursed, and they went silent as it sunk in.

"When exactly did he get trapped in the Upside Down?" Frank asked.

"Does it matter?" Lucas asked.

"It does!" Nancy and Dustin said together.

"El never told us how she escaped Hawkins Lab," Dustin said.

"Because she doesn't remember," Max replied.

"Exactly. She was weak and disoriented, which meant that she had already used her powers. It had to be something big," Dustin said.

"Like trapping someone in the Upside Down?" Nancy asked.

"I think. . .I think he might have been trying to use Barb and Will to open the gates, or maybe they were his first expiriments," Dustin said.

"No, because Will was being kept alive, remember?" Nancy said. "And then Barb was killed. He didn't need her."

"Okay, so he needed Will alive. Why?" Dustin asked.

"I don't know," Nancy said.

"Maybe he's trying to build an army," Eddie said.

"Could be. For El, maybe?" Dustin asked. "Like a weird twisted way of courting her?"

"No, I think it's her power he admires," Nancy said.

"She doesn't have any powers," Max said. "Not anymore."

"Maybe not now. Has anyone tried calling the Byers?" Nancy asked.

"Tried calling them when we were at Steve's, but I didn't get a hold of them. Joyce has that telemarketing job, so she keeps the line pretty busy," Dustin said.

"Well, we'll wait until night fall, and then we'll check out Lover's Lake," Nancy said. "Check and see if there's a gate. There are trees so it would be more secluded than the parking lot."

"How would we check for a gate in Lover's Lake?" Jeff asked.

Dustin grinned and pulled out a compass. Eddie drowned out Dustin's explanation as he went over everything in his head. If this fucker was as powerful as they said he was, how the fuck were they supposed to defeat them without superpowers? Holy shit. Has it really been only like two days since he met Steve and Chrissy in the woods. It felt like a lifetime ago. Fuck. They both took his hands in his, as if reading his mind. All of this was just happening way to his fast.

Chapter Thirteen

[alwayswritewithcoffee]

If it had been Jim who had been murdered and not Johanna, in what ways do you think Beckett's life would have changed? (I'm assuming that, professionally, she would have become a detective anyway, of course)

Oooooh, that's a good question, Anon. I'm going to assume -- but please chime in if I'm wrong -- that everything else stays the same. The murder is unsolved, the cops don't really seem that fussed about finding out who did it, etc. So one of the most interesting things to me about Beckett is that she doesn't seem to gravitate to one parent over the other in the show. Yeah, some of that is definitely because Johanna is dead and that hobbles any interaction/development and, you know, her memories of her mom are colored by the fact she's no longer around. But generally speaking, Beckett's relationship with Johanna seems less fraught with squabbles than with her dad. It truly seems like Johanna was at least understanding of some of her daughter's wilder tendencies, and was often the one trying to rein in Jim's overprotective streak. I think, over time, she and Johanna would become quite close if Jim had died. She still becomes a cop, because she won't stand for not having the murder solved or for other people being treated as they were, and Johanna is her number one cheerleader as she goes through the Academy. Where Jim and KB kind of fractured for a while due to his drinking and their grief, I think Johanna and KB would have done the opposite and drawn closer together. So you'd see Johanna involved in her life a lot more than Jim arguably is. Like to the point Johanna would be a recurring character (ala Martha) in this tv version of Castle. She'd know what Kate was working on, she'd known who she's dating, and offer her sage advice about all of it. And, yeah, I think once Kate is in the NYPD, she and Johanna generally piece together what they know about Jim's case. Johanna's a lawyer, and while I can buy that she's a bit broken and stunted by his death, she never strikes me in the show as the type of person in life to just let things lie. Johanna, like Kate, would push and push and push to try and find out what happened. In my mind, they work it together and eventually concede that they need to step back and give themselves some time before trying again. That's about the time she meets Castle and, you know, it's like a moth to a flame. I think it'd be a change in Kate's personality, too. I don't think she'd be quite as broken or as haunted as she is when the show begins. I think she'd probably have a few more friends because Johanna would push her not to lose herself in her work and to live her life. Probably would have dated a bit more, and maybe had a few serious relationships. The walls she put up wouldn't be quite so high or indestructible, and I don't think she would resist her connection with Castle quite so much, either. Not with her mother and Martha (who clearly would team up and become best friends) around to cajole and poke and steer them together. I guess the easiest way to describe it -- think of Beckett and Castle meeting when Kate's in her late season two headspace of being more open to living her life. She's still got that innate passion and sense of justice, she still gives everything to her job, but she's got a better balance of the job vs. her life. That's where I see her.

[sunnyie-eve]

7 | Dance

Series: Indispensable | Teen Wolf

Paring:  (Stiles Stilinski x OFC Martin)

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: Might be a few mistakes

| MASTERLIST |

~~~

When I got home I saw Lydia sitting on my bed hugging one of my pillows. "Where have you been?" She asks hugging my pillow tighter. 

"With a friend." I tell her but she stays quiet. "Lydia, why are you in my room?" I ask her. 

"I just wanted to see what you were doing?" She sighs and I can tell she wanted to cry or either cried earlier. 

"What's wrong Lydia?" I ask her in a serious tone. 

"Why do you ask that?" She puts my pillow back. 

"You seem upset." I take a seat on my bed. 

"Jackson broke up with me." Her voice cracks. 

"You don't need him. You're Lydia Martin." I tell her. 

"But I love him." 

I sigh, "Lydia, he treats you like shit. Especially when we were in the school that night. How do you let treat you like that? And let him flirt with Allison? Stand up for yourself." I snap at her. 

"He doesn't treat me bad." She looks down.

"How did he break up with you? Word for word?" I ask her. 

"He sent me a text saying, Lydia, please give up my spare house key at your earliest convenience. SoIasked him as if we're no longer dating to which he said he decided to drop some dead weight in his life...and I'm just about the deadest." She explains to me. 

"Lydia... that's treating you like shit!" I tell her. 

"I didn't come in here to be yelled at." She gets off my bed going to the door to leave. 

"I raised my voice because you said he doesn't treat you bad, but he didn't break up with you, he dumped you... in an asshole way. I'm just trying to tell you, you deserve better than Jackson." I tell her right before she slams my bedroom door. I sigh shaking my head flipping her off behind the door. I literally was just trying to be there for her and help her out. 

Saturday I ignore my phone going off from Stiles because I just wasn't in the mood. Last night with Lydia just pissed me off because I hate how our relationship is now. "How about you get off your ass and get out of the house. You ignored my texts and calls yesterday when we could have needed you. And your phone is still turned off." Stiles burst through my bedroom door. 

"How the hell does my mom let you in?" I groan pausing my movie. 

"She doesn't. I let myself in." He gives me a duh look. 

"We lock our doors." I raise an eyebrow. 

"I know, that's why I had a key made." He shows me the key.

"Give me that." I jump out of bed going for the key. 

"No." He holds it up high. 

"You really going to my height as an advantage?" I cross my arms. 

"You're 5'3 so yeah." He laughs making me punch his shoulder. 

"Get out and let me get dressed." I groan walking over to my closet.

"I'll be waiting in the jeep." He leaves my room. 

I get dressed then head outside getting in his jeep. "So because I ignored you yesterday you're dragging me out today?" I ask as he drives to Scott's. 

"Pretty much." He smiles over at me. 

"I regret putting myself into this spot." I sigh causing him to laugh at me. "That's funny?" I look over at him. 

"Yeah." He laughs looking at the road. 

"Explain, please." I smile since he found it so funny. 

"If you never went back to find the other half of the body, you wouldn't be in my jeep right now. But you did so now you are stuck with me and Scott." He looks over at me giving me a smile.

"It's more like I'm stuck with you. Scott doesn't have a key to my house. He doesn't drag me around. He doesn't show up whenever. He doesn't spam me with calls and texts. He doesn't-," 

Stiles cuts me off, "Okay, I get it. You're just stuck with me, not Scott." He says making me laugh. 

When we get to Scott's we see him searching his room looking for something. "Someone call my phone." He tells us as messing up his room. Stiles ends up calling it a lot but Scott has no luck and won't give up. "Call it again." Scott tells Stiles making us sigh. 

"It's not here. If it was you would've heard it by now." I explain leaning against the wall. 

"Okay, so you lost your phone. Why don't you just get a new one?" Stiles tells him.

"I can't afford a new one. And I can't do this alone. We have to find Derek." Scott keeps looking. 

"Well, A, you're not alone. You have me." I clear my throat. "... and Julia. And B, didn't you say Derek walked into gunfire? He sounds pretty dead." Stiles adds. 

"Argent's plan was to use him to get to the Alpha - they're not gonna kill him." Scott tells him. 

"All right, so then just let them do what they're planning, you know? They use Derek to get Peter - problem solved." Stiles says as Scott throws around clothes. 

"Not if Peter's going after Allison to find Derek! I can't protect her on my own. Which means we either find Derek first...just...just help me!" Scott snaps. 

"You know, you probably lost it when you two were fighting." I suggest making Stiles agree and add to it.

"You remember that, when he was trying to kill you, after you interrupted him trying to kill Jackson? Are you starting to see a pattern of violent behavior here?" I just stare at the back of his head.

"He wasn't going to kill anyone. And I'm not letting him die." Scott tells him. 

"Could you at least think about letting him die? For me?" Stiles whines so I smack him upside the head. 

"What?" I notice Scott hears something. 

"My Mom just got home from work." He says listing to her. 

"Is she okay?" I ask and he shakes his head no. 

"What's she doing?" Stiles asks. 

"Crying." He tells us before sitting down on his bed upset. 

"Scott, you can't protect everyone." Stiles tells him. 

"I have to." He looks at us. We don't stay that long at Scott's so when we head out I was surprised Stiles didn't take me straight home. 

"I don't remember telling you I wanted to come over to your place." I raise an eyebrow as we get to his place. 

"Well you don't remember you telling me you wanted me to take you home." He raises an eyebrow. We both just stare at each other for a few seconds in his parked jeep.

"I hate you and that sarcasm is your only defense." I get out of his jeep walking to the front door. 

"Hello Julia." Noah says as I walk in. 

"Your son brought me here without my consent and against my will so be basically he's kidnapping me." I say walking into the dining room. "He also lets himself into my house without us knowing." I add as I hear Stiles shut the front door. 

"Stiles." His dad calls out making him come in. 

"That's not entirely true... I say hi to your mom when I make my way up to your room. So she knows I'm there." He makes a face at me.

"To apologize for my son's actions... I'm ordering pizza for dinner, would you like to stay for dinner?" Noah asks me. 

"I'm sure she doesn't want to." Stiles speaks for me. 

"Actually I would love to. What, you drag me out of my house, say I'm stuck with you but don't want me to stay for dinner?" I cross my arms at him. 

"Huh? We would love to have you stay for dinner. I'm going to my room now." He leaves making me and his dad laugh at him. 

"Again, I'm sorry you are stuck with him as a friend now." Noah gets up patting my back. 

"He's alright at times." I smile at him then head to Stiles room. "Are you cleaning up a little?" I ask stopping in his doorway. 

"Just had some dirty clothes laying out." He snatched up a pair of boxers up and throws them in his hamper.

"I'm not Lydia so don't worry. You don't have to make anything look nice to impress me. Plus I've been in here before when it was messy with clothes and papers." I remind him but he changes the topic. 

"I can't believe you snitched on me to my dad." He sits down on his bed. 

"Well you should because I did." I sit at his computer going to put on All Time Low. 

"I regret bringing you here and not home. Now I gotta have dinner with you." He groans causing me to laugh. 

"That's what you get and I'm sorry it's not with my sister you love so much." I say the second part sarcastically. 

"Why do you do that?" He asks me. 

"What?" I turn to face him. 

"Keep saying things about Lydia. You're not Lydia, don't worry. Sorry I'm not having dinner with Lydia." He tilts his head.

"Because I can." I laugh it off. 

"Julia." He says my name in a serious tone. 

"What? I should be able to joke about things because you're in love with my sister." I continue to laugh. 

"Don't though. Not because it's embarrassing or annoying... it's because you don't need to compare yourself to her." He says making me stop. 

"I know I don't need to but I'm used to it so just ignore it when I do. When I do it I try to joke about it." I tell him truthfully. 

"Remember when I first asked you why aren't you like Lydia at Lacrosse practice?" He brings it up again. 

"Yeah, when we were thinking Scott was a werewolf. Why are you bringing it up?" I ask him. 

"Then I said at the party I didn't mean for it to come off in a bad way earlier. I meant it as, there's just something, I can't explain it... I think I'm getting close to fully understand what it is to describe." He says making me want to cry but I hold it back.

"And what would that be Stiles Stilinski?" I force a laugh. 

"I can't tell you just yet but I can say I should have been talking to you back in third grade. You're a great person to be around. Everyone should get the chance to get to know Julia Reese Martin and know her for who she is. Not just by some stupid label given to her because she happens to be Lydia Martin's sister." He says giving me a look at he really means what he was saying.

I can't help but get up and leave his room going to the bathroom locking the door to cry. I sit down on the toilet covering my face quietly crying into my hands. I've never had someone tell me that so it meant a lot to me. Especially coming from someone, who I know is obsessed with Lydia. After a few seconds I look in the mirror and make sure I don't look so red. I take a breath in and walk out to see Stiles leaning against the wall. "Can I help you?" I laugh. 

"I'm here if you need someone to talk to and you look like you really need someone right now." He sighs making me want to cry again. 

"I-I..." My voice cracks making Stiles pull me into a hug rubbing my back. 

"Let it out." He tells me so I cry into his chest. 

"What you said means a lot to me. Be-because n-n-no one has ever said that to-to me." He just continues to rub my back. 

"Well I'm glad to be the first to do so. That means you can never forget it." He says making me smile as I step back. 

"Pizza is here." Noah calls out so we head to the kitchen. Dinner was really nice with the two of them and it felt like I was part of the family.

~

The next day after school I go to the mall with Lydia and Allison so we can pick a dress for the dance. "Something wrong Allison?" I ask seeing her out of it. 

"Nothing's wrong, I just, I have a lot on my mind." She tells us. 

"You could smile, at least. Ever heard of the saying, Never frown. Someone could be falling in love with your smile. Smile, Allison. I'm buying you a dress." Lydia tells her as we go up the escalator. 

"I have to admit as far as apologies go, that's more than I expected." Allison says and I guess she found out about Lydia kissing Scott. "But not as much as I'm going to ask." Allison adds. 

"What? What's that supposed to mean?" Lydia asks as we get off. 

"It means you're going to cancel on whatever dumb, roided up jock you said yes to and you're going to go with somebody else." Allison tells her.

"Who?" She asks. 

"Him." We look over at Stiles and I start to laugh for two reasons. One; he sprayed perfume in his face. Two; he is going to lose it. "Oh...Don't frown, Lydia. Someone could be falling in love with your smile." Allison tells her as Stiles waves at us. 

"You're his friend, come on." Lydia grabs my hand pulling me over to Stiles with her. "You're taking me to the dance and Julia is going to tag along because she knows you. Now lets find me a dress." She snaps her fingers at him. 

"You heard her." I snap my fingers at him so he will follow her. As I look for a dress I like I can't help but laugh at Lydia tossing dresses at Stiles so she can try them on. "Oh okay, so are you just gonna...try these on right now? All of them? Is this a 24 hour Macy's?" He follows her so I follow them with a three dresses to try on.

At home getting ready for the dance, Lydia comes into my room. "You didn't let me see what dress you picked." I stand up to show her. "That doesn't look bad on you! Who are you trying to impress? Your friend... S-s-st-stiles." She snaps her fingers. "Do you like him?" She smiles at me. 

"What? No. I'm not trying to impress anyone. And one, he doesn't like me like that. Trust me, he's in love with someone else." I eye her. 

"Well he's dumb for not liking you. Especially after he sees you tonight." She leaves my room. Why is she being nice? Not much later our mom calls out for us saying Stiles was here to pick us up. "I'll be right there. I'm fixing up my makeup." Lydia says as I head downstairs. 

"Lydia is touching up her makeup so she'll be done in a second." I say walking down the stairs not noticing how Stiles looked at me because I was looking down while I walked. When I walk over to his side I finally look up to see him looking at me. "Don't worry. I won't be around y'all so you can be alone with her." I laugh thinking that's why he was staring at me. 

When Lydia does come done he didn't turn his head to look at her so I nudged him to look at her. Our mom wishes us to have a good time and we leave heading to the school. When we get there Stiles let's Lydia out then me. "Jackson. You look handsome." She smiles as he walks up with Allison. 

"Obviously. It's Hugo Boss." He tells her before walking off making me flip him off. 

"Asshole. I'll see you guys inside." I leave her and Stiles going in alone. I end up sitting in the bleachers alone and don't even notice Scott come up and sit behind me. 

"You're my shield." He says making realize he was here. 

"Okay." I agree as he probably scans for Allison. "Why aren't you sitting with Stiles and Lydia?" He asks me. 

"Letting him live out his dream with her." I laugh watching them from where I sat. 

"So you are going to just sit here alone all night?" He asks me. 

"That was my plan from the start." I say as I see Lydia agree to dance with Stiles. 

"You're lame." Scott laughs making me turn around to slap him. 

"McCall! I see you!" Coach shouts out from across the room making Scott get up and run away. 

"That was your fault." I shout out. I watch him run over to Danny and act like he was dancing with making Coach let him dance because he made it seem like it was wrong.

[one-piece-aus]

For Whumtober may I please also ask for Day One with Cracker and Day Four with Franky?

Yes, you may! I'll just have to take you for Franky later. Anyway, I got kinda carried away with Cracker's but I hope you enjoy it!

Whumptober Day 1

Cracker x Reader

TW: Violence, blood, addiction and overdose

"Big brother, how did you get that scar?"

"Do you really wanna know?" Cracker questioned as his normal sparky attitude faded into something serious. He sighed as he watched them nod their head. "It was a long time ago, back when I was married."

"You were married?"

"Yes, to the most beautiful pirate in all the seas."

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"I hate being weak..."

"[Y/n], you're not that weak," Cracker reassured you as he relaxed back in his chair, putting his feet up. "Unlike my little siblings."

"You don't get it." You shook your head, got out of your chair, and walked to the window. Placing a hand on the paned glass, you stare at the biscuit commanders training outside your manor. "I was a fierce pirate in Paradise but that means nothing in the New World. I can't match up to their strength."

This matter has always been eating your thoughts day and night. You fought tooth and nail to be one of the top pirates on the first side of the Grand Line, you racked up a bounty of 450 million beris, pirates quivered in their boots at the mention of your name, yet that all meant nothing when you stepped into the New World. You were slapped in the face by power you've never seen before and you fell hard. It was a miracle Big Mom took you into her crew because she some potential in you. However, you felt like you were doing jack shit and the ambition you held inside made you anxious to do something to prove yourself.

"So? What does it matter?" Cracker stood up and joined your side. 

Oh, Cracker. You were unsure about Big Mom's decision to pair you with Cracker when you met him, he acted childish. You gave him a chance though, not like you had a choice, and from your guys' daily playful banter, you come to realize there couldn't have been a better choice. The two of you have grown fond of each other and kept on top of each other health. You're still trying your best to reassure the other but are unsure how most of the time.

"You wipe out the newbies no problem when they get close to mama's territory. You're just as badass as ever." Cracker smirked at you. 

"Yeah..." You lean against the glass, giving Cracker a small smile. You did blow up Paradise pirates' dreams of taking over the New World. That's just the newbies though. A frown returns to your face. "I'm still no match for someone from Kaido's or Whitebeard's crew."

"Ah, who gives a shit about them anyway!" Cracker scowled. "They're not your problem."

"That's right, they're not my problem because I'm too weak to face them. If I was stronger then I could fight them." You bawled your fist as frustration burned in your brain.

"[Y/n]!" Cracker turned you to face him. You saw his eyes full of mixed emotion. "Mama trusted me to you, that means it is part of my duties to make sure you don't get hurt. My job as a husband is to take care of you and keep you from danger. You don't need to be stronger, mama already has plenty of strong members to take care of our rivals."

"I just... I just don't want to be dead weight." You looked down to the side.

Cracker sighed, letting go of you and placing a hand on his head, trying to think of what he could do to help you. You couldn't eat a devil fruit because you already ate one. He hasn't gotten many trainers for the Biscuit island since the majority of the guards are his biscuit soldiers, and you hold your own against them just fine so it wouldn't improve your skill. 

"I'll ask mama if there's something that'll get you stronger," Cracker offered.

"Thanks Cracker," you said, leaning your head against his shoulder.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"You're just in luck [Y/n]!" Perospero exclaimed, gesturing to the chess guards bringing a crate to you. "We just raided some marine ships and found they've been carrying cargo that holds science equipment that we believe is the source to making marines stronger in the New World."

Your eyes brighten up at the good news. It is true the marines in the 2nd half of the Grand Line have begun to grow stronger and pirates have been attempting to figure out how this has been possible. If it is through this science then that means you can be just as strong as them, if not stronger. Like a kid excited to open a present, you lift up the lid of the crate when it's placed in front of you. 

The equipment inside doesn't quite make sense to you. There were blood bags with green liquid inside, monitors, tubes, as well as other things you didn't know the purpose of. Your puzzled expression made your brother-in-law laugh.

"Kukuku, not what you expected?"

"Uh... no." You placed the lid back on as uncertainty flowed through your veins.

"Not to worry. Mama has plenty of doctors and a few scientists that will hook you up to this stuff. Of course, we'll have to test it on some subjects to make sure it's safe for yo-"

"Test it on me!" you interrupted, eagerness dripping from your tone. "I can take it. I'll be fine- I'll be better than fine. I'll be stronger."

"I don't think Cracker would want that-"

"Cracker just wants me to no longer be sad about being, with this I can get stronger and be happy. That's what he wants."

"Kukuku, you are an eager one," Perospero chuckled. He then frowned his brows and tapped his lolistaff. "We're only giving you a small dose to start with then."

"Alright!" you cheered.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Haha! This stuff is the best!" you exclaimed to Cracker after you kicked three devil fruit users through four houses.

"Glad to see you're enjoying it," Cracker smiled with his biscuit armour before cutting down another enemy.

You felt yourself glowing as you leap over a pirate and bring your boot down to crush his skull. Adrenaline rush through your veins, and your smile grows larger at this newfound power. You side-kick the fallen man to knock five more guys. You laugh, giddy at how much you're able to do now. 

Spinning around, you catch a sword being swung at your shoulder. The man that dared to swing his blade at you pales at his mistake when he sees your eyes. You reverse the direction and have the sword slice himself down, you hear his bones cracking as they're bent in the wrong direction his cry fuels you and fill you with delight. The pirate falls to his side, shaking in agony. You put him out of his misery as you swiftly kick his head off his body.

"I think that's all of them," Cracker told you as he walked over to you. His eyes widen, noticing how much blood you're covered in. "You alright?"

"Huh? Yeah, I'm better than ever!" you laugh and pump your arm in the air.

"You should get cleaned up, you're covered in blood."

"Huh- Oh." Now looking at yourself, you see the red substance splattered all over, though you could hardly feel the difference between sweat and blood on your skin. "Yeah, let's go."

"Sure..." Cracker nodded as you strolled by him. He narrowed his non-existent brows, staring as you pridefully stride back to his boat. You were normally a clean fighter. "...she's just getting used to her new strength," Cracker told himself as he began to follow in your footsteps.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey! Peros!" you waved down the eldest Charlotte brother. Perospero waved off some chess guards he had been talking to and went over to you. You grinned and held up a flexed arm. "This green stuff is great! And I've been wielding it like a pro!"

"I'm glad to hear it has improved your fighting skills-"

"I'm ready for more!"

"[Y/n], I do not think taking more is necessary." Perospero frowned, and his tone shifted. "You already match the level of a New World pirate."

"But I can be stronger!" you stated, not catching onto Perospero's mood on the matter. Your mind only focused on thoughts of getting greater power. You felt you had it in your grasp and you lusted for it.

"You don't need anymore," Perospero told you. When you were about to argue, he pointed his lolistaff and narrowed his eyes. "And that's final. Now, if that's all you wanted to discuss with me, I'll be attending to important matters."

Perospero began walking off and you growled, "Fine!" Sour flavours sprinkled onto your face. You kicked a few gumdrops on the ground as a heavy atmosphere swarmed around your form. "Dumb candy addict. Who cares about getting more power anyway." You turned and bumped into something.

"[Y/n]?"

Or someone.

"Cracker? Hey, what are you doing here?" You smiled and swept the sourness out of your system.

"I could ask you the same."

"Just came to thank your brother for finding the stuff that made me stronger," you told your husband. You then link your arm with his. "So what business are you up to here?"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Hey, doc give me some more of this stuff." 

You had snuck into the cake hospital and began making arrangements for your next dosage. Bringing the green blood into one of the patients' rooms and now addressing one of the doctors. He hesitated, looking from you to his clipboard and back to you.

"I- I- I'm sorry Mrs. Charlotte but we currently don't have-"

"Then put this shit in needles or pills or something so I can do it myself!" you demanded and shoved the bag in the homie's face. You were done waiting around for permission so you currently weren't going to wait for there to be time.

The doctor homie began sweating under your intense stare. "I don't think we-"

"Now!" You pulled out mama's vivre card with your spare hand. "Do it now."

Pink ribbons of obligation flowed from the vivre card and circled around the homie. They tied his hands to obey if he did not wish to face mama's consequences.

"Yes ma'am!" he nodded and rushed out of the room after grabbing the blood bag.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"[Y/n], enemy behind!" Cracker warned you as he was unable to shake off the vice-admiral to get the guy for you.

You turned to deflect the attack but your reaction was late and you had a haki'd fist blow you right in the gut. You felt pain squeeze your gut and you roared in agony. You coughed and felt something spit out of your mouth. You had taken quite the hit. 

Turning the pain to rage, you swung your fist at full force and punched a hole right through the marine's chest. You pulled it out and punched again, and again. Your vision became blurry, there seemed to be a lot more green than you remembered. You felt your anger rising your adrenaline. Your breaths let out hostile sounds. Your hand became drenched, you couldn't tell by what-

"[Y/N]!" A firm hand pulled you back to reality. You blinked once, twice. Your sight began to clear and display a bloody corpse with multiple holes. You felt yourself being turned around and a hand lift your chin up.

"[Y/n], what the hell was that!?" Cracker yelled, you could hardly read his expression.

"I lost my cool, it's nothing," you stated.

"Nothing my ass! And what's that green shit on your lip?"

'Green?' You wipe your mouth and look at your hand. Sure enough, green liquid was on it but you could barely make it out from the blood covering your palm. You narrow your eyes, trying to think what it could be. 

"The guy had a weird power," you told Cracker and wiped your hand on your jacket. You turned your back Cracker, not wanting to talk right now. You felt pain still lingering in your stomach so you reached in your coat and pulled out one of the green vial injections. "Look, can we not talk in the middle of the enemy's territory right now?"

"Fine, but we're talking about this later."

Cracker went to head into the building when he caught sight of you injecting something in your body.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"PEROS!" Cracker shouted after he slammed the door open and marched inside, bringing vines of tension with him.

"I don't have time to deal with you right now," Perospero said dismissively as he shuffled his stack of papers back together.

"Like I fucking care! This is more important!" Cracker spun Perospero's chair around with his free hand. His intense cotton candy eyes were full of anger. "I want you to stop giving [Y/n] whatever it is you gave her. She's losing it out there!"

"What do you mean? I only let her have a small amount the one time."

"Then how the fuck do you explain this!?" Cracker questioned and tossed [Y/n]'s jacket on the table. A few green injection vials rolled out for Peros to see.

"I should've seen this coming," he sighed, placing a hand on his forehead as he felt a headache coming on.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN!?!" Cracker's patience for the matter is running dry. He's sick of not knowing shit.

"It means your power-hungry wife started taking it on her own and is most likely injecting it improperly or/and overdosing that the adverse effects are happening faster than they should be," the elder brother stated as he took out a newspaper from his draw.

"WHY THE FUCK DID YOU GIVE HER THIS SHIT IF THERE WERE SIDE EFFECTS?!"

"I only found out about it recently," Peros informed Cracker as he passed the newspaper to Cracker. "Here."

Cracker's eyes scanned over the article the paper was opened to. His hands began shaking and the ends of the paper started to crumble. A shadow hovered over his eyes as the room grew colder.

"Can we cure her?" Cracker quietly asked.

"We can try to treat her but there's no guarantee if she's too far gone-"

Cracker threw the paper and rushed out of the room. The paper landed next to Perospero's feet and he sighed as he read the title of the article.

『Ex-Marine-Scientist Causes Over 2000 Marines' Deaths from Drug Experiment』

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Ah-" you flinched as you injected another green vial into your arm. 

You threw the now empty tube across the hall next to the trail of other used vials laid and let your veins pump the energy into your body. You felt power wrap around you, hugging every last inch. A green hazes the corners of your eyes.

That means it's working right? It means no one can get in your way anymore right? No one can stop-

"[Y/n]?!" Cracker's voice cried behind you. You twitched your head in his direction. He stepped back, disbelief written on his face. "WhAt hapPeNed to yoU?" His voice cracked.

You tilt your head in confusion. What could he possibly be questioning? You obviously got stronger, why, you could just feel it yourself. Unbeknownst to you, you had changed in more ways than one. 

Mere strands of [h/c] hair covered your head now. Your skin has turned pale green and your inhuman muscle mass twitched under it. Your spoon-sized nails were clawing at the ground. Your heavy breathing produced green smoke. Your now green sclera eyes stared in Cracker's direction, but worst of all: Those eyes didn't register any recognition for him.

"[Y/n]..." Cracker uttered, finding it hard to look at you in such a state. He shook his head and stepped forward. "Come on, we're... we're going to cure you. Get you back to your normal self." He began to hasten towards you.

Big mistake.

You flinch at his sudden movement. Feeling as if you were about to be struck by an enemy, you dashed at him and slashed your hand at his face. He closed his eyes and tilted his head away from the hand, but it still got his right side.

=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

"What... what happened to her?"

"...She was put down."

[heavyhitterheaux]

It was around 11 pm when you had finally finished doing your hair with the help of Jack. He had seen you earlier starting to take out your knotless braids and asked how he could help the process go by faster. If he don’t help take down my hair, I DONT WANT HIM 🥹

Jack had then slipped your bonnet over top of your braids and the two of you were now laying down in a comfortable silence until you broke it. He helped TAKE IT DOWN, WASH & CONDITION ANDDDDD PUT HER BONNET ON FOR HER. WHEN THE FAWK IS IT MY TURNNNN 😭

"Shiiiit." Jack knew that your hair was probably sore and as bad as he wanted to grab it to pull you closer to him, he decided not to. He’s so coinciderete 🤭🫶🏽

"I am knee deep in my girl's pussy so why the fuck do our phones keep going off when I'm trying to make her cum?! Somebody better be dying with the amount of times you called us." I FORGOT ABT THIS 😭 imagine if it was his mom!! I know he ain’t check caller ID

"Jack, they found out she used to be an exotic dancer and they are tearing her to shreds. I wanted to warn the two of you before either of you saw it. Tell her to call Allison when she gets a chance." I CANNOT FUCKING STAND PEOPLE ON SOCIAL MEDIA!! Why the fuck it y’all business what she used to do? 🤨

"Nothing can break you or us. We've made it this far, right?" HES just so ughhhh 🥹

theshaderoom: Our beloved first black principal dancer of The American Ballet Theater, Y/N Y/L/N Harlow apparently used to be an exotic dancer at Blue Flame in Atlanta before getting her big break! Flip through for more pictures and the post by one of her former co-workers who used to dance with her! The shaderoom is so fucking messy!! MIND YO DAMN FUCKING BUSINESS 🖕🏽

balletislife: this is absolutely disgusting and makes the entire ballet world look like a joke. no one with that type of past should ever be in a position such at the principal dancer I’m sorry, what uh- WHO. THE. FUCK. ARE. YOU?? Bitch bye. Go get a fucking life.

msmelanie: just reminiscing about old times at Blue Flame. still remember how it took us days to practice this and get it right and how no matter how much we tried to give up, Y/N wouldn't let us. and that's probably why she's principal dancer now. so so incredibly proud of her and I knew from the beginning that she was going to make something of herself. it was always me, her, and Alyssa against the world when we stepped through those doors. she went to Julliard, got married to her celebrity crush and is now one of the most sought out dancers in the world. still can't get over it! I miss dancing with all my girls! This whole thing just sounds condescending as fuck! Even is she don’t mean any harm by it. Like bitch why would u put this on social media, if you really missed her why not try & reach out?! You knew what u were doin wit yo hatin ass 😐

Mom- I raised you better than that I- are you serious?? SHE TOOK OF YALL, nearly sacrificed her dream for you & that what u wanna say 🤨 besides IT WAS IN THE PAST, ITS BEEN DONE & OVER WITH, get over it 🙄 also SHES A GROWN ASS WOMAN)

"So, Jack tell me. Is the rumor going around about your wife Y/N true?" IS THIS BITCH FR?? Who tf do they think they are?? Askin outta pocket shit like that. This interview is abt JACK NOT YN! Dipshit

"Your last name is Harlow and I'm going to need for you to act like it. We only have winners in this family and that isn't changing any time soon. Now, you ready to go?" AHHHHH I LOVE THIS MAN WIT MY WHOLE HEART & COOCHIE 🤭

(PART TWO COMING 🙈)

AHHHHHH this was everything and I LIVE for your reactions lol

And yessss gimme a man like this. When is it my turn!?!?

The way he goes hard for her and protects her is top tier 🥺

Yeah and her momma was wrong. Dead wrong. But we shall see how this plays out.

Remember when she was little she was a daddy's girl and not really close to her mom. She really did it for her brothers. It's not that the two of them didn't get along. The relationship was just different.

And whew that interview was outta pocket.

Jack was like

You better not disrespect her in front of him 😤

[imagine-silk]

Things sitting in my WIPs

You know when you start something and you have like a few things for it but not all of it. I have a reasonable amount. So look at them and maybe do my job for me or send a little thing for it. I'm spread thin. (Also, yes, I am getting to the asks. Just losing writing juice.) Marvel first. Also header here.

Steve Rogers finding some blood family

Summary: Steve wants a family, that much is clear from the movies, so the idea is he finds someone in Brooklyn that is related to him.

He couldn’t get himself to knock so he stood at the door uncomfortable close. Steve has nothing from his past life, his apartment was rented out to someone, everyone he knew was dead, the air smelled different, so did the growing winter chill. But he was never one to give in so easily. He was bound to have some sort of family. And he did. He was at their doorstep. 

His mom's sister's grandson. Steve got one of the SHIELD people to get the info for him, he loved Natasha but she would have given him everything this man had ever done before and he didn't want that info. Now he was thinking maybe he should have.

Knock knock

It took fourteen heartbeats for the door to open and show a young man in a tank top scratching his head and squinting, skin tanned with freckles from the sun and two moles on his neck that made vampire bites. His squint didn't let up however. "What'cha selling. I don't want it."

"I'm not here to sell anything. I'm looking for [F.Name]."

[F.Name] stopped scratching. "I beg your pardon."

"[F.Name] [L.Name]."

"I can't see, who am I talking to?" He seemed to be one hundred percent serious about the sight thing, his eyes didn't focus on him.

"This is going to sound crazy but I'm your cousin."

"I can see color," He frowned, knitting his eyebrows in the same way his aunt would, genuinely confused but very willing to hear someone out.

"My name is Steve Rogers. My mom was your grandma's sister."

This was the part he expected to fight for, to show proof or explain further. He didn’t need to though. "Oh. Yeah. That. Come in then." [Name] stepped back and held the door from the side. So he took the invite with confusion, sat on the couch while [Name] took the other. "First things first. My mom is dead, but I guess you knew that. She said she didn't want you to see her if she couldn't recognize you. I'm guessing you've been through that too though."

Steve rubbed his hands and thought of his cousin, wondering if he could handle seeing her like that while Peggy was doing the same. "Yeah I have."

"Sorry, man. Can't imagine waking up from a nap to all of this mess. Then having to do what you do. I do not envy you."

"You knew we were related? And you never said anything."

"Why would I?"

"I've had people tell that to me before. Not all of them were kids." He was a big figure and had diplomatic immunity to a certain extent, after he saved the world last time he had it again. In short, a good person to have in your pocket.

"To be honest, I didn't think you'd want to see me."

"Why?"

"I'm 'colored'. You're from the 1930s." It made sense and he never thought about it before. To think that was what got in the way of seeing him was depressing. "I figured you wouldn't but I didn't want to risk it."

Peter B is a fucking HIMBO

Summary: Peter is very smart and not dumb at all. That being said, I just want a himbo so here we are.

It was so fucking hot. Summer was not your favorite time of year and it never will be. The beach was always crowded and so was every building, the good stuff at stores was always sold out unless you got to it early, and vendors had lines that led to the train. And here you were sitting on a bench in the park that had no shade waiting. There was shade a bit away but you told Peter you would be there and you didn’t want to risk it, even if the time was flying and baking you. 

You looked around again not actually expecting to see the man you were waiting for, even less so that he would be running. Sweating to the point his work shirt was starting to show what was underneath and disappoint you it was another shirt. He did a hard stop in front of you and struggled to catch his breath, face flushed, chest heaving. “Hey, I’m sorry I’m,” 

You swept your lust under the rug and let your panic take front. “Peter, why were you running? I thought you were taking the bus.”

“I ran to see you dingus.” He laughed and looked at you with a squinty smile that moved what was under the rug. “You won’t believe everything that’s happened but let’s go over there first.”

He all but collapsed under the tree shade and propped his arm on his knee while his thigh pushed his stomach pudge. “You should take off your shirt.” You said. “To get cooler.” You found out a long time ago he didn’t see your impure ogling. At first you thought it was something he was ignoring or thought it was weird but then you blurted out you wanted to feel his chapstick and he actually gave you his chapstick.

“Yeah.” Like always he listened and agreed before going on. “So the epic tale goes a little like this; I wasn’t supposed to go to work today but I got roped in to do a half shift so when I got out I had to come straight here. Then the buses got out of order so I took the wrong one. I ended up a few blocks down and the next bus was going to make me even more late if it even got me here. So I ran.”

"You didn't have to do all that just to meet me." You knew what he was going to say. He was a creature of habit.

"I wanted to." Kind to a fault.  ->

-> There was one thing in your way of you asking to have him. "Oh, I have new pictures of Mayday." He was married, even had a kid.

And if I die before I wake

Summary: Now, I give my characters fucked up powers to the point I think I might be sadistic. So imagine not being able to die. Also I grew up very religious so I know this prayer very well.

I pray the lord my soul to take.

But you learned God didn't want you by his side. At the age fourteen you were in an accident. In the hospital you and your father were pronounced dead, but you woke up on the operating table. It was a miracle. Then you died in an alley, a mugging gone wrong. You looked out to the bustling street from the shadow and held a bleeding chest. But you did wake.

The great tale of Cain and Abel wasn't something that needed to be recited to you. It seemed to you like your father was Abel, blessed to salvation, and you were Cain, doomed to walk the earth. What was your crime? You couldn't imagine what you did as a child that warranted punishment but you did everything to repent for your sin.

At church there was a man, a broad man with posture somehow tensed and slouched praying in mumbling Spanish. He went when there were no sermons and less people, his time was for him and no one else. Just like you. So you did your best to not bother him. He seemed not to notice and it was nice for you. Together but not. You doubted he felt the same.

Then a fucking Rhino man busted into the hall and destroyed everything. You would say desecrated but you weren’t feeling particularly preachy after. Maybe that was why you were how you were. Spiderman was there to save the day and all was well for everyone else. You left through allies to succumb to your wounds, to bleed out praying it was the last time. As you stumbled you heard a person behind you. You told them you didn’t have any money or anything of value on your person. But they caught you and lowered you to the ground. They seemed to recognize nothing could be done so they just held your hand. You asked them to let you die alone and they shushed you.

You woke up to the sounds of ambulance sirens and you ran before you found out if they were for you or not. It was a traumatic event when you died but you steeled yourself first so you could get safe before you dealt with your mind. Like every time you went back to church. You followed the signs to a temporary place of worship to atone. 

The second day of your repent you saw the man and when he saw you he didn't move so you didn't notice him.

He grabs you because his knee jerk reaction is that you are still dying so he is trying to catch you before you fall

Say in Spanish you are haunting him

He is making a very big scene that he is then going to have to explain especially if he has to take a few steps

He looks you horrified and goes to you later to ask if you were okay alluding to the idea he knows you got hurt he just doesn’t know to what extent

Say in Spanish you are haunting him

He sees you but you don’t so he has time to collect himself before he goes to speak to you and you both have a half honest conversation (WINNER)

You do not admit you are repenting and it may or may not be obvious you are not praying for others

He says he was checking on you because he was there but you didn’t see him there and he may or may not have noticed exactly who you were

It's something you would never know but he did see you before he walked up. You figured as much but you never knew for sure. Unlike him you didn’t mutter your prayers but unlike him you made it very obvious how you were dealing with the prayers. He knew you were losing your mind.

He asked to sit with you before asking if you were okay. A small gesture, one you would have welcomed at any time but now, so soon after death, it was hard. He said he was checking up on you because he thought he saw you get hurt. You told him nothing of the sort happened and mentioned in passing you didn't see him there. You both were hiding, one just had a question that needed answering. ->

->You felt like you were being watched, when you were walking home from work, from church. Nueva York wasn't the safest place in the world but you had never felt like that. And it happened for a very good while before something came of it. A woman attacked you in any alley. You didn't know why but she said it was your fault. 

Spiderman swooped in and did his thing but added to the routine. He asked who you were and you panicked, rightfully so. "I'm not sure I follow."

"Most people don't get up after bleeding out. Answers, talk fast." He said walking forward. Slow, painfully slow. And you backed away even slower because you knew there was no way you would out run him.

"I don't know, it just happens." He kept walking. That wasn't enough. "I get back up and I can't explain it. Every time I think it's the end, it's not." It still wasn't enough. "I don't want to be like this. I just want to stay dead." That was enough.

Two weeks after the initial incident he finally came to you as a civilian again. Introduced himself and asked your name saying he had always seen you but never found a reason to speak. Finally a name to the face, Miguel O'hara. An overall quiet man, calm in nature and polite. He started to speak to you after that.

There was still the feeling of being watched, it must have not been the woman. You stopped and looked around. When you looked up you thought you saw something on the roof but then pigeons flew off so you brushed it off. But when the same thing happened again you thought maybe someone caught onto your living situation. Then again, maybe not.

The church was set up again and you thanked God. You didn't talk on the pews before him and he'd be the only person you would. It was pleasant, chattering whispers to not disturb like it wasn't just five people in the room spread out farther than any hearing range. The topic of jobs came up and you had an underwhelming answer. (He said he did a lot of computer work, whether it was at a computer or on you didn’t know./He said he was an engineer who worked on his time.) Not a lie.

A month went by and you acted on impulse, you asked if you could confess to him. He asked if he should be the one to hear it but you assured it wasn’t something you would be condemned for. You admitted you lied to him when you said you weren’t hurt after the church incident. You said you thought you were visited by an angel who was going to take you away but it wasn’t, it left you there.

[girl4music]

BUFFY REWATCH - S06E20 - Villains

*Willow and Tara’s room. Long shot on the tableau of Xander standing in the doorway, Buffy and Dawn holding each other, and Tara lying dead on the floor. Cut to a little later. Two men carry a gurney down the stairs, bearing Tara's body covered with a black sheet. Xander stands at the bottom of the stairs watching. He has changed out of his bloody clothes. Buffy and Dawn sit in the living room. Buffy has also changed her clothing. Xander watches in a daze as the men wheel the gurney out the front door. One of them gives him a clipboard*

CORONER: “If you could just sign this?”

XANDER: “Sure.”

*He signs the clipboard and hands it back*

CORONER: “Call this number tomorrow, we'll have more information.”

*Giving Xander a piece of paper*

XANDER: “Okay, thanks. Thank you.”

CORONER: “I'm sorry for your loss.”

*The coroner picks up a briefcase in one hand, takes the end of the gurney in the other, and he and the other (unseen) coroner exit. Xander closes the door, looking at the piece of paper. Goes into the living room*

XANDER: “So that's it.”

BUFFY: “Are the police gone too?”

XANDER: “Coming back tomorrow with more of their pretty yellow tape.”

*He sits on the coffee table. Both he and Buffy put their faces in their hands for a moment*

BUFFY:

*Sighing*

“We need to find Willow.”

XANDER: “Yeah, she's off the wagon big-time. Warren's a dead man if she finds him.”

DAWN:

*Bitterly*

“Good.”

BUFFY: “Dawn, don't say that.”

DAWN: “Why not?

*The others looking at her*

I'd do it myself if I could.”

BUFFY: “Because you don't really feel that way.”

DAWN: “Yes I do. And you should too. He killed Tara, and he nearly killed you. He needs to pay.”

XANDER: “Out of the mouths of babes.”

BUFFY: “Xander.”

XANDER: “I'm just saying he's... he's just as bad as any vampire you've sent to dustville.”

BUFFY: “Being a Slayer doesn't give me a license to kill. Warren's human.”

DAWN:

*Scoffs*

“So?”

BUFFY: “So the human world has its own rules for dealing with people like him.”

XANDER: “Yeah, we all know how well those rules work.”

BUFFY: “Sometimes they do. Sometimes they don't. We can't control the Universe. If we were supposed to... then the magic wouldn't change Willow the way it does. And... we'd be able to bring Tara back.”

DAWN:

*Very quietly*

“And Mom.”

BUFFY: “There are limits to what we can do. There should be. Willow doesn't want to believe that. And now she's messing with forces that want to hurt her. All of us.”

XANDER: “I just... I've had blood on my hands all day.

*Looks Buffy in the eye*

Blood from people I love.”

BUFFY: “I know. And now it has to stop. Warren's going to get what he deserves. I promise . But I will *not* let Willow destroy herself.”

*Beat. Xander nods, sighs*

XANDER: “Okay, where do we go? She could be anywhere.”

BUFFY:

*Sighs*

“I don't know, um... Maybe the Magic Box for some kind of locating spell.

*Quickly, to Xander*

I could go myself.”

XANDER: “No no. I'm cool. I'll go.”

BUFFY: “Dawn can't stay here by herself.”

DAWN: “Let me go with you. I want to.”

BUFFY: “No, honey, it's too dangerous.”

DAWN: “But... it's Willow. She needs us.”

BUFFY: “She does. And you'll help her. Lots. Okay, but first we have to get her home in one piece.”

DAWN: “But-“

BUFFY: “Dawn. I'm serious. You've been through enough for more than one... ever. You should be someplace where you feel safe.”

So we’ve finally got to the 3-episodic finale of Season 6 and the major theme this time around is vengeance. I have spent so much time going through this theme and the events of these 3 final episodes in my head because I wanted to explain something that I feel is very important but wanted to articulate well so it doesn’t come across as condescending in any way. And once again - I am referencing ‘Xena: Warrior Princess’ because that show deals very heavily with the theme of vengeance and a lot of what I have been taught through Xena I could easily apply to Buffy too. Now there are some subtle differences because Xena isn’t really a supernatural show so the laws of both shows regarding the themes of vengeance, violence and killing are and should be different. However - they still correlate. In Xena the characters talk extensively about what happens when you kill your first human being. There’s a phrase used: “Everything changes”. Everything changes once you cross the threshold in taking a human life away. This means you yourself are no longer as you were before and will never be able to return to that of which you were before. You’ve changed. But it also means changes in the world around you too. That’s also no longer as it was before and will never return to what it was before. Your experience has changed. Xena cleverly coins this situation as “losing your blood innocence”. You now know what it feels like to do something you can never take back. A moment in time that you cannot go back on and change. The guilt of it swallows you up and you find it extremely difficult to live with yourself over it whether the person you killed deserved to die or not.

I think we would all agree with Xander and Dawn regarding Warren. Warren deserved death for his horrific actions. Not just the killing of Tara and Katrina but the unsuccessful killing of Buffy and just the fact he is an extremely psychotic, misogynistic monster who, as Willow points out before she kills him, derives pleasure from the pain and destruction he causes. No different from your average vampire or demon who relish their kills to feed on or as a form of entertainment. He is just as bad as that as Xander said. So he did deserve death. But it was never Warren who Buffy was arguing for in this scene. It was Willow. Her best friend. She cared only about what killing Warren would do to her. It would destroy her. Later Warren himself said to Willow in a last-attempt effort to get Willow to stop torturing him that she would become just like him if she went through with the kill. That she would become a monster too - admitting that he was a monster himself. She didn’t listen to him and proceeded to magically rip his skin off his body. It was still brutal, but it was also quick. Her friends had caught up to her so she needed to be quick about it. She fully intended to torture him slowly until then as she believed that is exactly what he deserved. A slow and excruciatingly painful death at her personal hand.

The question to ask really then is how do we perceive the theme of vengeance? What does it mean to different people? Is vengeance a form of justice or a form of retribution? Is it punishment for punishment’s sake or what’s right? Sidestepping “vengeance” for a moment, I am constantly perusing and analyzing the themes of violence and killing due to watching Xena. Asking questions - (Is it right? When is it right? Why is it right? How is it right?) - and I’ve come to the answer that it never is right but sometimes it is necessary. And I’ve explained why I believe this elsewhere but the main point I want to get across here is that what compels a person to commit violence or killing is further themes: anger, hatred, fear and survival. And you can apply the first two to Willow’s situation. Thus, this is why it is revenge and not a necessity to kill Warren even though he does deserve death. It is never a moral situation to kill someone in my personal opinion, but there are times when it is a necessary situation. This isn’t one of those times. So on top of the guilt Willow would feel for killing her first human being, she’d also have the guilt that she didn’t actually have to kill him. She did it because she wanted to because she believed it to be justice for Tara. She died so he needed to die to avenge her death as he is the one who caused it in the first place. And it adds on as she then moves on to kill Rack and then she goes after Andrew and Jonathan. And this is where Buffy draws the line on the killing. At Andrew and Jonathan. They were sorry stupid sods themselves but they weren’t Warren or Rack. They weren’t monsters. Just idiots. And this is when the theme moves from vengeance to something much more sinister. To actual villainy. But I will discuss this further in my recap for ‘Two To Go’.

I will say that from a completely fictional standpoint - seeing Willow go dark was exhilarating to watch. But from a realistic standpoint - my soul yearned for her and all I had in the back of my mind was “What would Tara do?” How would she approach and handle this? Watching her lover commit all these atrocious acts in her name. What would she do to stop her and would she have prevented Dark Willow altogether? Again, these are questions to delve into and attempt to answer at another time. I merely just wanted to explain my whole thought process on what I believe it means to take a human life. Especially purposefully and in a way where the action itself isn’t warranted despite how much of a villain the person really is and wondering whether you become a villain yourself.

Perhaps you guys have your own thoughts? I’d love to read them. Leave them in the comments if you wish.

[hepaidattention]

the crazy things that have happened in One Tree Hill and I'm only in s4:

1) Brooke and Lucas got together twice. Like I'm serious that shocked me, he cheated on you honey. and then they got back together and she just lost feelings??? made no sense, the girl was very in love with him and then no love at all? confusion

2) Peyton literally trying to steal Brooke's (her best friend) boyfriend whom she loved not once, but twice

3) just the entire plot about Lucas and Nathan's dad literally just disowning Lucas despite him living in the same small town??? this baffles me like what. AND THEN the man tries to have a relationship with Lucas and Lucas literally just accepts so he can ruins his life I mean wow

4) how that man was elected mayor like how

5) Lucas's uncle literally raising him, his brother/Lucas's dad still living in the same town, and never once trying to be in Lucas's life until he was good at basketball

6) Lucas and Nathan pretending they didn't exist for like 15 years???? if I had a brother I'd say screw you dad I want a brother okay? like thank god they're close now but I would not have wasted so many years tormenting each other no ma'am

7) ummmm how about Keith being murdered by his own brother because his brother thought he tried to kill him but it was actually his ex wife

8) oh yeah right Nathan's mom attempting to murder his dad but failed cuz LUCAS saved that man's life and for what??? we all wanted him dead Lucas why do this to us

9) yes almost forgot Lucas having a heart condition that could kill him and his dad was just like 🤷🏻‍♀️ guess you're just gonna die because I won't pay for your meds anymore. and then Lucas stopped taking them so he could be better at BASKETBALL. what.

10) everyone determined that basketball will heal everything in that show and that its a supernatural gift or something

11) Peyton being an idiot and telling the world she has a brother named Derek even after seasons of her getting creepy stalker messages, and then proceeding to let a random guy into her life without any look into his history to make sure he was telling the truth, and then said guy attempting to murder her

12) lol Peyton having two dead moms and a half brother yet her adopted dad is never around for absolutely no reason??? the girl lives in that house all alone and honestly I never even see her in any other part of the house is there even furniture

13) everything with Josh like????? what? I never understood why they they wouldn't do like joint custody with the mother it made absolutely no sense and he just made life really hard for himself

14) where the hell are Brooke and Peytons parents???? this is illegal at this point like actual neglect

15) oh yeah um Nathan and Haley getting married at like 16 just because they could and Haleys parents just allowing it so they could go backpack around the world??? I'm sorry??

16) Haley getting an offer for a solo tour? at 16? with subpar music? and going on tour at 16 without even a guardian was legal somehow??? I guess once married you count as an independent but that girl was 100% still a child and how did she even get discovered in their small town with only one to two performances how

17) Nathan and Lucas have almost died too many times to count. Once you've been in not one, not two, but three car wrecks that almost killed you combined I just wouldn't drive anymore personally

18) the whole shooting that happened was crazy, especially how Peyton was technically the only one injured like the odds are pretty wild but the writers clearly hate her so

19) Brooke just teaching herself how to sew without even YouTube videos to help her, just all on her own, and then suddenly just making it big and selling clothes left and right.

that's all for now. will likely be continued because this shows on drugs I swear

[abbatoirablaze]

Down The Rabbit Hole, Chapter 7

Word Count:  4.3k

Warnings:  slight angst

"As you guys know extra credit is given to students who organize academically related events during what would otherwise be known as our 'free time,'" Chang began in an annoyed tone, "no student in any department has ever exercised this option until now."

Annie began to giggle like a madwoman, and she stood from her seat, "Tonight in the library I will be hosting a dia de los Muertos party. Dia de los Muertos, or day of the dead, is sometimes referred to as Mexican Halloween."

"Which is actually quite offensive," Chang interjected, "Some people may be familiar with Mexican Halloween as a sexual position. At any rate. If you do show up, you will get extra credit. Me, I don't even get paid. See you tonight. Hasta Noche."

"Now most of you have responded to my e-vite," Annie said as people were collecting their things, "but some of you have been e-vasive."

"Count me in," Shirley giggled excitedly, "This is my first college party. I got some tequila and I just rented Van Wilder 2: The rise of Taj, and look!"

Shirley held out her hand, which was devoid of the ring she normally wore.

"Oh, Shirley," Britta sighed, “it-“

"Yeah," Shirley said, not entirely happy, "My husband Andre has been gone for 6 months so I think it's time for me to embrace being single."

"Message received!” Pierce smirked.  She shot Pierce a dirty look.

"Pierce, Tawney, Jeff," Annie said, looking at the three of us, "I'm still waiting to hear from you."

"I don't know," I sighed, "Parties, hooking up with people...that's not really my thing, Annie. I'm sorry.  And anyways, I think Professor Duncan told me I have to go to a function in his stead that night."

"I thought I shot you a response from this pocket phone," Pierce said annoyed.  He squinted at the screen and tried to access the voice commands, "access email."

Jeff looked at me, his brow raised, "you really don't want to go to a party or hook up with people? Do you know fun?"

"Are you going to the party?" Britta asked, taking some of the attention from me. I sighed out of relief. I didn't know what to say.

"Oh, no," Jeff laughed, "it conflicts with the enjoyment of my life."

"I cannot figure out the voice command part of this thing. It's like my mother," Pierce growled out at his phone, “stupid thing.”

'Calling mother,' his phone echoed. Pierces eyes bulged and he tried to tell it to stop.

"Speaking about enjoying life," Jeff said, looking at Britta, "I don't want to beat a dead horse here but are you sure you don't see anything non-platonic ever crystalizing between us?"

Britta laughed, "I'm sure Jeff."

"Okay good," he smiled, "because one of my professors is really hot and I wanted to give you first right of refusal."

"Hello, Pierce?" a voice asked through Pierce's cell phone

"MOM?"

'Oh how's school going sweetie? Are you popular?'

His eyes bulged again, and he muttered some lie about him going through a tunnel before pressing a bunch of buttons on his phone.

'Has that boy Jeff stopped teasing you? And how's your Canadian girlfriend? I saw your father's ghost again. He's still angry.'

I looked at Jeff and we both walked out of the Spanish room very quickly, "you need to stop bullying Pierce!" I joked.

"Well, it sounds like you need to stop dating him," he laughed. I cringed and he laughed even more, "oh come on don't you find it hilarious that out of all the girls he said he was dating you?"

"He didn't say that."

"Tawney you are the only one of us that is from Canada,"he laughed, "aww Pierce has a crush on you."

"Gosh you're so gross," I laughed, gently pushing him away from myself. While it was an awkward situation, something about how Jeff was acting with me, wouldn't let me feel socially awkward, “be serious…you have stats next, an-“

'So what's Professor Slater got in store for us today?"

"Did you really not do your assignment again Jeff?" I asked, "That class starts in 15 minutes. You don't have time to get it done."

"I did it," he said confidently, "I just wanted to see if our answers line up."

"I'm sure they don't," I replied, sticking my tongue out at him. He repeated the gesture and I mocked gasped at him. He smirked and I felt his arm snake around my waist as we continued to talk about statistics, “they never do!”

It didn't really bother me, because I knew he didn't see me in a romantic way. That was just his way of protecting me. Sort of how he would call Annie 'milady,' or share a book with Britta, or even when he gossiped with Shirley.

"You know what I think is the best about you?"

"Huh?"

"You weren't even listening, were you?"

"Sorry," I admitted, "I was off in my own little world."

"I love how honest you are," he replied, "about everything. You don't care what it is, you are just so fearless in your honesty."

"Wow," I said, taking a step from him, "who are you and what have you done with the real Jeff Winger?"

"I'm serious, Tawney," he said as we neared the door to class, "you are always honest. I can count on your opinion about anything, because you don't care enough to lie."

"Where is this coming from?"

"Do you think that me going after Professor Slater is a bad idea?"

"Yeah."

He looked taken aback, "you do?"

"I do," I admitted, "I think it's a terrible idea."

"Why's that?" he asked rather amused.

"Because you don't really want a relationship," I said with a shrug, "the chase gets you going, but the idea of commitment. You want nothing to do with that."

"I really like Professor Slater," he said slowly, “what if she’s different?”

"And you really liked Britta."

"Fine," he said simply, "you think it's a bad idea. Help me turn it into a good idea. Help me overcome my need to run away from commitment."

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"And why not?"

"Because you're my friend," I started, "and she's technically my boss."

"What if I could help you?"

"Excuse me?"

"What if I could help you out?

"With what?" I scoffed, "I've got a great GPA!"

"Guys," he said quickly. I sucked in my breath. He smiled, realizing he'd found a chink in my armor, "I can help you get guys."

"I have a boyfriend," I said, trying to recover, “I don’t need your help!”

"Oh yeah," He laughed, "I'm sure you do."

"I do," I said, feeling hurt. He looked at me for a second before realizing I wasn't joking and that he'd hurt my feelings.

"I'm sorry, Tawney," he sighed, "I didn't mean to upset you. I'm just...like I said I'm really into Professor Slater."

He stared at me for a second and I gave him the best stony face I could. He looked like he was trying to think of something to say but came up with nothing. After another moment he walked into class.

I watched him from my place at the door. The class was starting to fill up, and Professor Slater was getting her notes ready. I watched Jeff for a second. He was prepared for class, pulling out the assignment, and a notebook. He looked at her in a way and I believed what he said.

He didn't want to just be hooking up with her.

I walked into the room and sat down beside him, "I'll help you...but you've gotta help me out too."

He smiled, "deal."

"So, Jeff Winger, huh?" she asked me. I nodded, "why is he into me all of a sudden."

"I don't know," I admitted, "I mean honestly, I kind of thought he was still into Britta, but I guess he's over her."

She nodded thoughtfully and looked at her reflection. She was dressed as Robin Hood, "thank you for letting me use your dorm to get changed by the way."

"It's no problem," I admitted. I stared at my own Halloween costume, extremely unsure of my choices...but this was gonna be the way to get him to notice me again, “thanks for getting me out of going to the teacher’s party for Duncan!”

"So, you're going as catwoman?"

I nodded, "Yeah. I uhm, my boyfriend Abed Is going as Batman, and we decided on kind of like a couple costume. "

"well, that seems very outside of your comfort zone," she said, noticing how little the costume actually covered, “is that okay with you?”

"yeah,"I admitted, "I was gonna go with a more original version of her, but I really wanted my boyfriend to just lose his mind."

"I'm sure that'll do it," she laughed, "so...do you think I should give him a chance?"

"Who?" I asked, "Jeff?"

She nodded, "who else, Garrity? Chang?"

I couldn't help but laugh as she was listing people off. I took a second and thought about my deal with Jeff. If I helped him out, he'd show me how to keep a guy interested. I mean he'd already given me advice on the costume...So I guess for the time being I kind of owed him.

"He's a good guy," I admitted, "and a really good friend. I mean sure, he's kind of like a dad to the group, but that's just because he really takes care of everyone. Heck one time he just showed up here at 2 AM because he was thanking me for not telling the others I was tutoring him."

"Oh?"

"Yeah," I laughed, "he's kind of odd."

"You're tutoring him?" she asked pointedly. It took me a minute, but I gathered what she was saying.

"Oh god no," I said quickly, "nothing like that. He just showed up because he was...well I don't know why he showed up at 2. But he left after he said thank you and that was that."

"And does he say thank you at 2 AM to you very often?"

"No," I replied even quicker, "It was just that one time."

"Mhmm..." she nodded. She turned back to the mirror and finished up on her costume, then grabbed her clutch, "Thanks again for letting me get changed here. Is it okay if I pick up my regular clothes tomorrow?"

"Of course." I replied. She gave me a wave and left. I felt a wave of relief rush over me as she closed the door. I don't know why I'd gotten so nervous about talking about Jeff.  I looked at my costume one more time.

I really shouldn't have listened to his 'the skimpier the better' rule, but I didn't have much of a choice. It was either this cat woman, or a poison ivy who literally was lingerie and netting. I threw it on quickly and looked at the clock. It was almost 9.

"Damn it," I growled out at myself, "I'm late."

I hurried up and started towards the library. My heels clicked against the concrete. Soon I found myself in a rhythm. The clicking matched my breathing, quick but steady. I made it to the library as everyone began to file back in.  I found the kid who had the sign in sheet and told him my name.

"Tawney?"

I turned to see Annie looking like a skeleton in a well-fitted onesie.

"Hi."

"Oh my god," she said, covering her mouth, “you look amazing!”

"Wowww," a voice said from behind me. I turned to see Troy, "Tawney is that you?"

I nodded, too afraid to remove my mask. Troy came up to me and circled around like a vulture, "This is for real a really good costume. You came as Cat Woman."

"Yeah," I said, taking a breath, "The Halle Berry one."

He held his hand out for a high five, and I smiled. He admired the costume, “this is so cool.  And it’s authentic…is this a real cosplay?”

“Sure does feel like it!”

"Wow," a voice said quickly. I turned around to see Jeff in what looked like a cowboy get-up behind me, "you really took my advice to heart."

I nodded, "I don't look bad do i?"

"Not at all," he said, stressing every syllable. I smiled even more and pulled the play whip off my back, “you look phenomenal.”

"Oh my god," I said excitedly, showing him all the parts of my costume, "it even came with this. How cool, right? It's almost an authentic cosplay."

"That sounds so nerdy," he laughed, taking a sip from a beer, "but I can't even be upset about it."

I grinned even more, "really?"

Jeff leaned in towards me, and I shivered as his breath hit my neck. His body was so close, I could feel his body heat, "I will never say this again, because you are my friend, but you look so hot right now. If I didn't now you, I'd be all over you."

I took a shaky breath, and even shakier step away from him.

"Thanks," I said, unable to look at him, "so...when's lesson 2?"

Britta came up, looking like a squirrel, "Tawney? Is that you?"

I nodded and she looked around the room, "so many people are staring at you. You don't even look like yourself."

"Thank you?" I questioned, "hey. I uh, gotta go find someone. I'll catch you later."

"Okay," she said quickly, "bye."

I walked out of the room and looked around on the mostly empty floor. I couldn't find Abed. That is, until I looked out the window, and saw him on the ledge over the entrance. I crawled through the open window and stood on the platform.

He didn't turn to me. But I knew he knew I was there.

"What?" I asked, playing it cool. I took few steps towards him, "cat got your tongue?"

"Cat woman," he said in a gruff voice, finally turning towards me. He had a large smile on his face, and he slid his chapstick into his pocket, "it was only a matter of time until you showed up."

"From now on, we will refer to each other by our Spanish nombres," Senor Chang said loudly, "there will be, what's this? "

He stopped his speech to see Pierce throwing paper balls into Jeff's mouth. Chang smiled, and urged him to go on, "I'll allow it. It's okay. Do it."

Pierce giddly threw another ball but it missed Jeff's open mouth. Senor Chang started speaking lightly so that he kept the flow of the class going.

"Oh he's gonna get it," Troy whispered to me. I couldn't help but laugh a little bit. Chang made his way to Jeff and ducked to his height, “oh here he comes!”

"BUENOS DIAS WINGER!"

He jumped awake and Chang began to laugh.

"Alright, that's good. Everyone out. Class dismissed."

The class gathered their things and started towards the door. Jeff angrily made his way out of the classroom. Troy wrapped himself around Annie, "Hey, Shirley. Tawney, look. I'm Annie's backpack!"

"Stop it, Troy," she giggled. I shook my head, and followed out of the classroom, holding hands with Abed, “Troy!”

Ever since Halloween, he'd really started to notice me. Little, subtle things that Jeff was teaching me was making Abed more receptive.  The only downside is that we were both exhausted.

The only time we could really get together is after 11, so he'd usually come by my dorm, and I'd give him tips and tricks on how to get Professor Slater, while he would talk to me about guys and what they liked.

I thought to the notebook I had in my desk at my dorm.

Rule #1. If you are interested in a guy, put yourself out there. Nothing is sexier to a guy, then a girl who wants to be his.

"Hey, do you want me to walk with you from class?"

"Yeah," I smiled, finding my voice, "I can meet you outside of your film class."

"I can come to you," he smiled, "then we can go to the cafeteria and get some coffee? You look more tired than normal!"

I tried to ignore the last part of his comment, which sounded way too much like an insult. I'd been up most nights because Jeff was tutoring me. I cringed just thinking about it.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," I replied, "Why?"

"You just got this look on your face," he stated, matter of fact, "like something unpleasant happened."

"I was just thinking."

"Was it about how the lights in here are eerily like a horror film?" he asked, "I was thinking about that a moment ago."

I looked around, taking in the lighting. He was right. There were a few lights that were out, and one at the end of the hall that was flickering. It did feel eerie. I shivered.

"Don't worry," he smiled, full of confidence, "I'd protect you."

"You do remember that I know martial arts, right?"

"Yeah," he chuckled, "now that I think of it, that would be really comical. You would probably be saving me from an attacker."

I giggled and we stopped in front of my class. He kissed me on the forehead then walked down the hall. I couldn't help but feel on cloud nine. So much so that I hardly noticed the teacher dismissing us. Class flew by.  I all but skipped down to Abed's film class only to find the classroom empty. I walked in, but the lights were off. It looked like everyone had left much earlier.

"Hey!"

I turned around to see Abed with 2 lattes.

"Our professor let us out early," he explained, "so I walked to the café and got your favorite. I hope you don't mind."

"Aww," I cooed. He handed me the latte, and then took my free hand in his, "Abed you are so sweet."

"I just want you to know that I really appreciate you, Tawney," he replied, "you are a really great person, and I wanted you to know that I really value our relationship."

"Our relationship?" I asked, playing coy. I took a sip of my latte and smiled. Vanilla and peppermint.

Jeff Winger's rules to guys.

Rule #2. Forget about what I said with rule 1. Guys love it even more when a girl is kinda ditzy. But in a cute way. Be like a sexy Urkel. Did I do that?

Rule #3. Giggle. Guys love when a girl is flirty and giggles. Makes them feel really manly.

I couldn't help but laugh at the two next rules that Jeff had given me the other day. I looked at Abed and he was positively beaming.

"Yeah," he replied, "Our relationship. I like that you are my girlfriend."

"I like that you're my boyfriend, Abed."

I looked around. We were walking through campus. Hand in hand. Like a regular couple. I felt like I was soaring, and nothing could bring me down. He opened the door for me when we entered the library and again when we got to study room F.

"Hey guys," Annie said as we entered, “how’s it going!”

"Hey," I smiled at Annie, “how are you?”

"I tell you, before aids," Pierce grinned, "sex was like shaking hands."

"Hence aids," Abed said, sitting down. He had one of the paper fortune tellers that he was pulling from his pocket. He began playing with it and looked around the room, "what?"

"Are you playing with a paper fortune teller?" Shirley asked.

"Yeah," he nodded, showing it to her, "Tawney showed me how to make them in Spanish today. They are really interesting."

"Oh Brittles," Pierce smiled, "I forgot to tell you I went and talked to Vaughn."

I looked at Britta, my eyes wide. Her jaw dropped, "What?"

"Bad news is that I couldn't patch things up between you two," he sighed, "You really did a number on him. The good news is that I'm the new keyboardist in his band. "

"So let me get this straight," she began, "I asked you not to talk to him and you completely ignored me?"

"Hey tiny," he grumbled out, "you're missing the headline. I am in a rock band."

"Oh well I'd like to be there when the band finds out!" Jeff said, coming into the room.

"Oh, hi Jeff," Britta said, changing subject, "We were just talking about how in today's econ-"

"CARRR, You are living in your car," Shirley said, pointing a finger at him, "Boy you are living in your car. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm not good at being coy."

"I'm not living in my car," he replied. His face screwed up and I could see him looking at me out of his peripherals, "I'm just sleeping in it for a couple of days while I work on some problems with my condo. It's a very temporary issue."

"A temporary issue?"

"Yes Tawney," he said like it was the most obvious thing in the world, "I gotta pay some meaningless fees and then they'll put my locks back on the door. And that'll be that."

"How are you gonna get the money?"

"Believe me kitten," Jeff said in a fool-hearty manner, "Winger's got the moves."

"Oh Jeff," Shirley cooed, "do you need a place to stay, sweetie?"

Troy sighed, "I'd offer, but my dad is kind of racist."

"You could stay with me in the dorms," Abed offered, "My room has a bunk bed which is kind of a misnomer, because it's kind of the real deal."

"The next person that mentions charity or pity will be mentioned by name in my suicide note."

"Oh," Shirley groaned, “oh dear.”

Everyone started feeling uncomfortable and they paired off. Britta pulled Abed away, and Pierce bolted, leaving me with Jeff.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

He looked at me and shook his head, "I don't."

"Is that why you've been saying you can only come over super late?"

"I've never slept over at your place."

"No," I muttered, "but you have stayed over until we have to leave for classes."

"We're helping each other, remember?" he asked, "I'm sorry teaching you how to talk to a guy takes forever."

"You don't have to be rude, Jeff."

"Rude?" he asked, "I've been staying in my car, and teaching some pathetic 20-year-old how to talk to guys. And it's clearly never going to work. All you ever do is dress like an old librarian, and you act more innocent than Annie."

"I don't think I want to deal with you like this Jeff," I sighed, standing up. Suddenly I felt really bad about the outfit I'd picked out, "maybe you can conversate with me more when you get over whatever pity party you're throwing yourself."

"Pity party?" he asked when I got to the door. He stood up, "I'm not having a pity party for myself. You are. You're fawning over some imaginary guy. Have you ever even been kissed? I bet you haven't. You look to nervous to look a guy in the eyes, let alone kiss one."

"You don't need to personally attack me you jerk."

"No," he groaned, "I'm telling you the truth. Because someone has to little timid Tawney. You need to become an adult woman. Stop hiding behind your glasses and baggy clothing, and just be a woman. Like when you were dressed up at Halloween. At least you had some substance to you. You were a hot slutty cat, instead of a boring, lame girl."

I felt a heavy rage. My breathing was shallow and ragged, and not for any reason other than I wanted to beat the shit out of the asshole in front of me.  Before I knew what I was doing my hand dragged itself through the air between us and slapped him. His head whipped so fast he probably had whiplash to accompany the dark red handprint that was forming on his face.

"Screw you, Jeff Winger. At least I have a heart."

I all but ran back to my dorm. When I got there, I collapsed on the floor and began to cry.  I know Jeff didn't mean what he said.

But why did he say that? All I ever did was try to help him?

Once I calmed down, I made it to my bed and plugged my phone in. That's when I saw a message from Abed. I clicked it.

'Not sure where you went after study group. Hope you can come to Night Under the Stars...'

I checked the time. It said 6:45. I cleaned myself up and looked in my closet.

I'll show him.

When I slipped into dress, and threw on those heels, not only did I feel sexy, but I felt confident. I pulled my hair down and put in my contacts. I checked myself out in the mirror. I looked different. Almost unrecognizable.

I practically pranced down to the cafeteria. Abed was waiting for me by the snack stand. When he saw me, a piece of popcorn he threw in his mouth fell out.

"Wow."

I felt sure of myself. I walked right up to him and kissed him.

"Hi," I said after he'd pulled away, “thanks for inviting me!”

He was speechless. It looked like he was calculating something in his mind.

"If you want to grab a spot, I can get us a drink."

He nodded and made his way into the crowd. I got us a Coke and went to find him. He was at a table with Jeff and Britta. Britta's eyes sparkled when she saw me, "Tawney you look incredible."

"Thanks," I said, sneaking a glance towards Jeff. I could see that he was practically drooling. I smiled to myself, then went to the other side of the table where Abed stood, "is coke okay?"

"Yeah," he smiled. He nervously placed an arm around me and kissed me on the cheek. I playfully took some of his popcorn, "Hey, did you know when there's a scene about a couple at a rock concert, they usually have a really good time and they kiss?"

"Is this you saying you want to kiss me?"

He chuckled and nodded. I pulled his face to mine as the music started.

Chapter 8

[imperialmask]

Homeworld Bound Vol 1 (London Calling) Chapter 1: Azure

As he woke up, Dan Peterson heard a faint whirring noise coming from somewhere in the mansion. His blue face reflecting the sunlight, he sat up and looked around, the sun has just rose. Exhausted, Dan got out of bed and towards his en-suite to get ready for the day; He put on his morning clothes and headed out of his room to find whatever thing was making that hideous noise. The culprit was in the kitchen, he found it to be his sister Athena making a smoothie to a degree of success. He walks towards her to ask her a question but fails to get any words out past the loud WHRRRRRRR of the blender. When she finally notices him, she stops blending and looks at him.

"Oh, morning." She says, weirdly cheery for 6 in the morning.

"Yeah Hi, what are you making?" He asks.

"Just a berry smoothie like Mom used to make"

"Mom's berry smoothies were red, why's your's green?"

They both look at the concoction in the blender for a second before looking at each other. Athena has the oh so classic face of realising you have failed on something not serious.

"Whatever, want breakfast?" Dan asks her.

"Depends on what it is" She answers.

"Pancakes"

"I prefer waffles but sure"

Dan sighs as he goes to make pancakes. He grabs the flower, the eggs, the sugar, the butter, the milk, the pan and sighs. He stares into the pan contemplating, thinking about his life. He's in his 20s yet he feels 50, a mid life crisis is on the way. Oh god, is he gonna be dead by 40? Wouldn't surprise him, it'd probably be a stress heart attack or stroke. Isn't that how Grandpa died?

"You ok bud?" Athena asks, noticing his lack of making anything.

Dan snaps out of it to look at Athena.

"Yeah, yeah. Fine."

Athena hops off the counter and walks over to him.

"Go sit down, i'll make breakfast" She tells him. Dan looks at her skeptically before Athena looks up at him and notices his glare.

"I wont burn the house down!" She snaps, slightly offended.

"Ok, it trust you" Dan says before walking away to the next room over which is a dining room with a small sofa to lay on when relaxing. He falls onto it back first and stares at the celling. What's up with him today? Such a weird funk.

His phone bursts to life with a jarring ring. He reaches for his pocket and looks at it, slightly reeling from the sudden exposure of light. There's a call for him from someone named "Bubby", he notices the name and his face lights up with an immediate answer.

"Hey L." Dan talks into the phone.

"Hey-yo Daniel! How we feeling today bubba?" A woman answers on the other side.

"Like shit if i'm being honest Bubby."

"Bubby?" Athena shouts from the other room.

"Keep your mouth shut!" Dan shouts back, Athena laughs in the other room.

"Athena annoying ya'?" The woman on the phone asks.

"No, i'm just tired. I've spent months trying to get this promotion and Hudson keeps passing me up on it." Dan answers.

"Bubs, how many times have i got to tell you? March into his office, slap him in the face and tell him 'I am Daniel Peterson, Son of Jones Peterson, and i demand you promote me to squad lead and let me make my own squad'."

"It's not that easy. If i even dare mention my father then it'll just be a nepotism thing all over again, Dad doesn't need that right now with the election beginning soon."

"The Peterson name has weight to it outside of your Dad, they've been protecting Salem since before anyone can remember"

"I don't wanna go through my whole life relying on my family name"

"You still should march in there and tell him what you want, you gotta stop being passive about this Dan. Take the things you want in life!"

"Ok, ok. I'll do it." Dan sighs, defeated.

"Good to hear, i'm heading into work so i'll see you later. Don't come home with a no!" She tells him.

They tell each other bye and hang up. Dan walks back into the kitchen where a plate of waffles waits. He stares at them in confusion before seeing Athena turn around with a plate of blueberry pancakes, she smiles at him and puts them infront of him.

Dan starts to eat them, as he puts a chunk with blueberry in his mouth, Athena speaks.

"Cannibal" She jokes. Dan stares at her in annoyance.

Both of them hop in Dan's car to head to work. They drive out of the clean stone drive way and onto a clean fresh asphalt road on the side of Zeqko Mountain in the Altai Heights. The road barrier is a see through material, a blue field of sorts with white and yellow metal floating above it projecting it onto the side of the road. The duo calmly descended the mountain road, passing villas and mansions for the wealthiest men in town, the gold and marble sparkling in their eyes. Altai Heights was a monument to the decadence and hubris of society but god dam if it wasn't pretty. 3 mountains dedicated purely to the ultra rich, houses and parties to rival even Gatsby in scale, wealth insultingly displayed and flaunted on their pretentious Olympus.

Then they saw it, the shining city of Salem. A metropolis of the highest order, a modern Eden with towers unmatched in scale and beauty anywhere else on Earth. Vehicles whizz and whrrr out of its many roads, ports and hangers; blocks of buildings clustered together in batches blotted the horizon, stretching out for as far as anyone could see. A city of monsters, magic and wonders, founded eons ago by Witches fleeing the old Salem Witch Trials. Hanging above was the glistening Salemonic Barrier, a fierce wall that kept the outside world away from the city. Founded by their ancestors, the mark of the Peterson family was felt by every single person within the city. A whole world for 15 miles on either side all sealed off from prying eyes.

Dan and Athena travelled into the city proper, seeing all kinds of creatures but it didn't phase them, this was just life in Salem after all. They pulled into an underground garage and parked, getting out of the car and heading towards an elevator. Dan was in his sleekest suit, grey with white linings and a burgundy shirt to compliment his blue face. Athena was in a purple jacket with a white shirt and a green skirt.

Athena spoke first, "going straight to Hudson's office then?"

"Maybe we could hold off and get settled first-"

"Boop!" Athena presses a button labelled 79 and the elevator doors close. Dan glares at her, a little angry and Athena cheekily smiles at him. The elevator shoots up, out of the underground basement and up towards the 79th floor and towards destiny.

"so, what do you want again?" Athena asks.

"I want to be a squad lead. I got passed over 3 years ago for Radcliffe and now i'm the only one of the noble kids without his own squad. I'm an advanced grade, i'm a Peterson, i'm the Azure, i need my own room to move and my own people to lead or else what's the point of any of that, you know?" Dan monologues.

"Yeah, yeah. I mean i'm Advanced Grade, i'm a Peterson, why don't i get a squad too?" Athena sarcastically asks.

"Who'd you think i wanted to be my second in command?" Dan replies back. Athena's face lights up as Dan gets out on the 79th floor.

The floor was a grand office, a modern art deco kind of thing with green walls complimenting golden yellow bars streaking across them in a pattern that seemed to go nowhere and everywhere all at once. 2 large and grand wooden doors stood proud and shut like statues guarding the entrance way to a palace, engraved on them was an intricate pattern of a coat of arms. Next to it was a grand wooden desk as large as a canoe with somebody sitting at it, somehow the inherent wealth of the room didn't seem to affect the computer which was an outdated blocky thing that looked like you couldn't even run solitaire on it.

He walks towards the receptionist at the front desk, a small lady covered in wrinkles.

"Name." She croaned.

"Daniel Peterson." Dan spouted back.

"Not got a meeting. Get out." She spouts back after a brief lookover her notebook.

"Tell him its vital."

"No."

"What do you mean no?"

"He's busy. Go back to work."

"Lady, my name is on the line here!"

"He's busy."

Suddenly, a scrawny man with glasses walks through. Dan recognises and calls out his name.

"Moesby!"

"Daniel!" The man ecstatically calls back. "Boy, oh boy am i glad to see you pal, how've ya been bud?"

"I'm good, how's Hudson?"

"He's smoking right now, let me get you in he'd love to see ya." Moesby almost quite literally drags Dan into the office, as he walks away he smugly smiles at the grouchy receptionist.

Walking in, he sees an old man with greying hair smoking a cigar. A large scar goes down the left side of his face, across his nose and onto the right cheek. An aura of authority wafts around him like the smoke from his cigar, he turns to Dan and looks him dead in the eyes.

"Jones' Boy, How'ra ya?" He exclaims with a jovial yet relaxed tone; it was old and familiar yet still serious.

"Doing fine, not here for a social catch up though." Dan responds, casually anxious.

"What'd'ya want." The man asked in a more annoyed tone. "Hudson, I want you to make me a squad lead, new squad new everything. You passed me up 3 years ago when i'm just as capable as Red, i've proven myself time and time again. Remember Rio with those bandits? or Glasgow and the Avgnis? Volvograd, Cairo, Melbourne, Boston. Last week alone, i fought off Draco in Toronto, when Red did that he got a parade but when i put my neck out for it, i get a pat on the back. How many times do i have to put my life on the line for you to realise i'm ready for a promotion?"

Hudson stares at him, unimpressed.

"Pass me your work card." He simply asks. Dan gives it to him.

He holds it infront of Dan and points at his last name.

"If i promoted the golden boy of the Petersons, there'd be outrage. I'd promote you if it was up to me, but it ain't. Red's a treasure to Salem, he got the promotion because he saved the city from the Basilisk invasion 3 years ago. Your missions are top secret out of city affairs, they're important sure but they aren't as flashy as Red's. I can't give Salem a hero they don't want." Hudson tells him.

"So what should i do?" Dan asks adamantly, unshaken by this.

"Prove your nobilitas to the people, show them why you're a Peterson."

Dan looks out the window, contemplating how best to do this. He sees Moesby waddle over to Hudson and show him something on a tablet, they both look up and out the window at the blue sky before looking down again. Dan spots something, something yellow in the sky but it's tiny. He squints to look at it, Hudson and Moesby walk over to him with Hudson putting his hand on his shoulder.

"Been tracking it for a week when we found out it was gonna hit Earth." Moesby tells him. Hudson hands him the tablet which shows a grey cylinder of some kind and some data pointing to something about to crash into Earth from space.

"Wait, is this a meteor or aliens?" Dan asks, confused and slightly worried.

"Most likely of alien origin, be prepared for a fight." Moesby explains.

"It'll land just outside the city, we've been holding this one in our back pocket for ya." Hudson tells Dan with a smile. A wide smile stretches across Dan's face.

"When will it land?" Dan asks with too much joy for being about to get into a fight.

"In an hour. Get out of here, go get ready, you got a fight to prepare for!" Hudson tells him.

Dan hands the tablet back and runs out of the room. Moesby and Hudson look out the window again.

"Are you confident in this plan, sir?" Moesby asks.

"Adonis was the greatest hero of his time, if that man could reach even a 10th of his strength then it'll all go smoothly." He responds.

As he stares at the yellow orb hurling towards them, he smiles as he realises something.

"It's moving too fast." Hudson tells Moesby.

As Dan runs down to the armoury to grab his weapons, he notices Athena getting ready for training. Practically jumping up and down with energy, she looks at him confused.

"You alright?" She asks.

"There's an alien whose gonna hit the city in an hour, gotta stop it if i want that promotion." He answers.

"Oh shit, want some help?"

"Of course."

Athena grabs her bow and Dan grabs his shield. As the 2 get ready to leave, they hear a loud fwshing noise coming from outside, almost as if a plane was flying overhead despite the fact they're in a basement level. They look up in confusion before heading a loud bang and the ground rumbling, the 2 of them head up to the ground floor immediately and see everyone in a panic. They run outside to see a hole was made around the 40th floor of the tower, following it they look into the sky to see a similarly shaped hole bleeding a dark grey into the otherwise sunny blue sky, pellets of snow trickle from the hole like blood gushing out of a wound.

Dan's earpiece starts ringing in his hand, he puts it in and answers it.

"The UFO may have been moving a bit faster than originally thought. It crashed straight through the barrier and into Peterson Tower before landing just outside of town in Wolten." Moesby tells him.

"Me and Athena are going there now, we'll handle it." Dan replies back.

"Good luck to ya!" Moesby cheers before hanging up.

The 2 of them run off towards the crash site, no idea about the change this will bring to their lives.

[impressiverunaway]

Narcissistic Mother...who would have thought that?

Welp. I couldn't tell how long it has been since my last post. But welcome back to my nightmare rollercoaster of a life. It's not all bad, really. Like I promise, it's not all bad. There is so much Good in my life, honestly. Yet, I can't exactly enjoy it all, but I pray for the day that I can come. Patience, right? Within a week, I, broke off a relationship with an asshole/narcissist/both? - after he let me move out of state to take a swim, no, to drown in his lies. Made a 20hr+ drive with a pet, alone, in a stick shift. and? Landed myself back in a home with a psychotic, narcissistic, cunt of a mother. Did I know what I was moving back to? No. Just as I did not know what I was moving out of state in to. My brain just does not work in a normal way. The move did teach me a lot. Luckily, I cut my losses to about a month of time wasted before picking my life back up again here at home. Still a lot of moving pieces to be entirely back on my feet. I learned to set boundaries, ha- I learned my boundaries. I learned my lesson, finally, as to why relationships should not be rushed. That nothing should really be rushed.

"Anyone would have fallen (for his bullshit)" My therapist said. In my mind, I added "but I did not, and I got out.

I could really see my life just...ending...by staying. Living, but so, so hollow. Oh yeah, within this said week, if you've seen my older posts, that guy I was so angry with, running circles in my mind? Yeah-he's back.

I can't believe I pushed him away before.

Looking back, I suspect that the period of time I thought I loved my ex, I was discovering I had serious feelings for him. I did not see, feel, or think that until the day of, or so- that I broke things off with my ex and was on the road in less than 24 hours.

The things I thought about, the things I felt thinking about Him, unworldly.

I'm not going to get into why my ex was a piece of shit, you're just going to have to trust me on it. Probably same with my mom, maybe in time I will share more.... but it seems like a conversation meant for my therapist's ears only.

I'm not rushing anything this time around.

I'm thinking "I'm dumb". And reminding myself that I am doing my best. I pray for the day that I skip over thinking that I am dumb and remember that I am always doing my best at all times.

She's really insane, I don't mean that in an offensive way, how much one person can affect so many people.

Discovering this piece of information for myself has uncovered so much for me.

-------------------------------------

FYI, it terrifies the shit out of me knowing this is who my mother is and always has been.

like, this shit is genetic. I'm as confident as I can be, that I don't have it myself, but what if my child has it? How the fuck would that happen and how tf could I be able to handle that. Is it even worth the risk-If I'm ever able to fully heal and be in a place safe for children.

If I do land in a healthy relationship, with children, will I loose it all because I'm not 100%? I can't put kids in that situation, I can't put myself in that situation without being sure......and how can I be sure? Therapy.

------------------------------------ I am happier when I am not around mother. That's a fact. I have set boundaries- we are now in a roommate type relationship. Strangers. As it should have always been. *snort/scoffs* A boundary, of dozens, I've tried setting in the past. Always scared to be my true self to enforce said boundary due to false consequences. I'm creative, and I've got the vocabulary of a 90's rapper. --------------------

I know I said I wouldn't get into it, but, my Mother.

My own, fucking mother. She will deny it past the days she dies but-

My mother has been calling me a "Bitch" since I was 13 years old. Today, she called me evil,

Pure-evil.

My response?

She is lucky to be my mom.

&

It's a godsend I came from her.

P.S. You're dead to me.

*mic drop* -----------

Till next time, I hope all is well with you. That you are doing better than me. That maybe this helps you in some way.

take care. xoxo