#but then i was like 'no. anon deserves an honest answer bc writing is hard and a fucking trial which i struggled/still struggle with.'

[fluffypotatey]

any tips and tricks for getting into the writing zone?

ok so i have 2 methods and they depend on what i'm writing on: story writing and essay writing (waring: this is a mini-ramble)

with essay writing,

get mad, get super fucking mad, write that shit with spite flowing in your veins. even when i'm writing essays and stories i enjoy, i drag my feet.

i whine and complain like a toddler in my head because despite this topic being one i enjoy, putting my excited tones and rambling into coherent words always tends to feel like i'm butchering that (which is why academic papers should simply let me swear in them and use the 1st pov bc it is sO easy and my thoughts flow a lot better but noooOOOOoooooOOOOOooooo, i have to be formal and proper and-)

also, outlining. fucking godsend with essays. it's why a lot of my longer essays have headings bc i use them to outline and keep my thought on one line of thought bc i have a rambling issue (which is then easily solved with parentheses, my beloved)

with story writing (notice how this is basically a heading? good job! you've found my mini outline for this reply! have a cookie 🍪)

i find that jotting down that scene that is nagging at your brain immediately is super helpful. and do it even if you're now writing out of order. pro-tip: writing out of order is THE best, endorphins be going crazy bc you're actually not fighting with your brain with the story but writing alongside your brain-map.

personally, i find it very difficult outlining a story (how contrary) because sometimes my mind changes ideas or switches the order of scenes, and it is exhausting trying to keep up with all of that in your outline. but i guess, my "outline" with stories is simply me jotting down a very quick summary of the plot that invaded my mind in one document, never touching it again, but staying true to it because i wrote it down. therefore, it exists no longer in the recesses of mind but it a physical statement/promise to complete.

also (this advice goes for both story and essays) it is ok to take a break, step back, and not look at your writing for some hours, days, weeks, months, years--fucking whenever.

my midterm essay? a fucking nightmare. loved the topic, would write something similar about it for fun, but the reason it took me so long to complete (and why i dragged my feet) was because of the "short" timeline i had to complete it. i felt like i was on a time crunch and that led to me procrastinating, stressing over it, and taking my grand old time researching for it. however, when i was able to work on it? i allowed myself to simply do as much as i could. if i was unable to look at that stupid document, i didn't look at it. if my mind had a really good thought or example for the topic rotating in my head? immediate sit down and get that thought onto the paper. it must exist.

i have fics sitting in my folders that have been unfinished in so long, but i still consider them as wips because (and here’s another subpart-advice) i tend to work on them when i am unable to touch my current work. to be frank, working on something else helps keep you in the writing zone even if you cannot stand to look at the blank/unfinished work you wanted to complete originally. when i was incapable of writing for the Monkie Destiny Challenge, i switched to working on writing and editing my teen wolf fic (a fic i had not looked at since July) because while i still had that itch to write, something was blocking me from completing the prompts. and when i switched fics, getting into the zone was a lot easier.

so, to recap:

when jumpstarting the writing zone for writing an essay, you get passionate (can be read as mad/spiteful), and outline your thought process of the essay with headings to keep the writing flow flowing (the headings do not need to stay in the final product but they are good to have in the draft) .

when jumpstarting story writing, write! that! shit! down!!!! chronological order doesn't mean shit when you're in the planning/writing phase. your readers don't have to know that you wrote/planned a character's death before writing/planning out the beginning. they just read it in the order you publish it in!

to keep the writing zone stable and in working condition, TAKE THOSE BREAKS BOO! who cares about your personal deadlines???? if you feel exhausted before opening up a doc, then take that break, babygirl. again, your reader(s) will not need to know (nor do they need to know) how long it took you to get your writing piece done. hell, if you still feel the itch to write but the thing you wanna do is not working, then work on something else you haven't touched in a while because that itch WILL get its scratch somewhere, so help me god.

so yeah, i hope this was helpful, anon (and coherent jfc there better not be a plethora of typos T^T). happy writing, and may your weekend be a healthy dose of eventful!

[aspd-culture]

ED anon here, genuinely thank you for such a kind response, it was actually very helpful and even soothing. I've been attempting some self help shit today by writing out my thoughts and researching something called "emotional impermanence", and I think I've cooled down substantially.

Last night my flare hit a peak and I got a lot of my reactivity out by way of crying, frantic pacing, and ramming my body into hard surfaces until I collapsed from exhaustion. I may have bruised a rib bc it hurts to breathe, hoping nothing's cracked.

I did message him in my desperation (had been for a few days like the pitiful, codependent creature that I am) but thankfully it wasn't anything nasty, just extremely pathetic. Sent one more this morning telling him he doesn't need to worry, that I'm okay and making it clear that I'm giving him space (with zero expectations of an answer) and that I love him.

I'm going to do my best to use the coping strategies you listed as I feel they're very applicable to my situation. And you were spot on with your reply as he's the sweetest, kindest, funniest, most creative and dependable and lovable and loving person I've ever met and tbh I really hope he doesn't kick himself too hard when he gets back to me. The last thing he deserves is to feel like a bad friend, he's got nothing to feel guilty for but he probably will anyway. He goes through so much. He deserves the world. I'd kill and die and suffer for him. I'm going to make him gifts.

I still have a strong urge to slice the fat off my body though, so I won't take my knives out of the safe just yet. I think the most absurd thing about this relapse is that I may have been suppressing shit with weed, and it all erupted when I ran out. I think that's a sign that I ought to stay sober long enough to do some inner work.

Thanks again, I appreciate the space you've created here and all the thought and effort you put into trying to help me. Thank you.

I am so happy to hear that I've helped at least some. You are doing a great job, and it sounds like you're learning about how to decrease the risk of a relapse this intense in future which is always a good thing. I bet it's probably not as "pathetic" to a prosocial person as it seems to you. Tbh almost everything I've done that I've seen as pathetic has been referenced in the future by prosocials around me as me being open/honest/vulnerable.

I'm here if you need anything. You got this. :)

Be safe as best you can.

[faggotmox]

Thoughts on writing something where Bryan is only obsessed with Danny bc Bryan is into Yuta and is jealous that Danny and Yuta are A Thing?

ranger requests [ anon, yes i have thoughts ]

tw: obsessive compulsive disorder, bryan has ocd

It rubbed Bryan the wrong way. Most things did but this...this bothered him. For months he had been going after that asshole kid Garcia, and yes there was so much potential. That had little to do with why Bryan was obsessed with Daniel Garcia.

Instead it was the way Garcia and Wheeler interacted. In ring, in promos, backstage, in interviews. It's so obvious that it causes Bryan physical pain. Everyone else was oblivious which just fed into Bryan's obsession with Wheeler and Garcia. It started after Garcia had left that huge bite mark on Wheeler. Something in that match broke something loose in Bryan.

Bryan wanted Wheeler so bad. At first he couldn't figure out why Wheeler wasn't actually fucking Mox, then Claudio. But he wasn't. The youngest member of the stable had flirted with both but quietly, politely declined. The flirting Bryan did was Wheeler was in the ring, in training, and Wheeler never quietly, or politely declined him.

Then there was Garcia. Bryan couldn't figure it out so he obsessed over it. Normally Bryan didn't use twitter, instagram, or his phone much in general, but he made up a fake account each place to follow Garcia. Had spent many sleepless nights scrolling through every post Garcia made to find tidbits of Wheeler, to affirm this relationship. And eventually Bryan just found himself obsessed with both boys.

Bryan started going after Garcia more and more. Started shutting out Wheeler more too. If Wheeler wasn't going to be honest with Bryan then Bryan would get it out of either of them the hard way.

After the interview with Renee, Bryan thought maybe he had unlocked something as he walked back to the locker room. Wheeler was angry that Garcia was obsessed with Bryan now, and that Bryan didn't seem to pay any attention to him anymore. This was maybe Bryan's shot.

As soon as the door swung open Wheeler was on Bryan. Strong hands weaved into the blue mountings on Bryan's sweater and threw him to the hard floor, making Bryan slide into some benches from the force of him. The rest of the team scattered, shouting expletives as Bryan was put down. No one could stop Wheeler as he mounted Bryan and started reigning punches down. There was shouting from everyone. Someone got hold of Wheeler's hand which gave Bryan enough of an opening to move into a full guard before flipping them and carefully climbing off Wheeler. Everyone was quiet now.

"Fuck you, Bryan!" Wheeler shouted from the floor as Bryan spat blood onto the concrete. "What the hell is your problem?!"

Bryan didn't answer as he looked around at his mentor and friends then down at Wheeler who was slowly getting off the floor. Regal seemed to understand something that Bryan did not and ushered the others away.

"Are you kidding? They're gonna kill each other!" Mox grunted as Regal shoved him out the door.

"That's why we will be waiting just outside. If we are needed we will come back inside." Regal spoke like he had to explain this to a toddler as the door closed behind them.

"What's your fucking problem?" Wheeler was in Bryan's face. "You don't think I belong here? That he deserves it more?!" Wheeler was yelling now. "I'm better than Danny! I know he has my title, Bryan, our title, but just give me a chance! I'll get it back."

"This has nothing to do with the title." Bryan said coldly. The blood Wheeler drew trickled down into his beard from the split in his lip.

"Then what, Bryan, then what?!" Wheeler grabbed at his shirt again but this time it wasn't to throw the older man. It was desperate as Wheeler tugged. "This is driving me crazy. I don't mean in a fun way either. I can't sleep or eat, I fuckin---" Wheeler had to take a few deep breathes. "If I just understood what was wrong I could fix it."

"You can't fix it. I'm not going to ask you to break up with Garcia for me, Wheeler." Bryan admitted. It was out there now. The weight of Wheeler's despair too much for Bryan.

"What?" Wheeler stepped back a few paces.

"You heard me, Wheeler." Bryan tucked his hands into his pockets, not bothering to brush away the blood still trickling.

"Bryan." Wheeler sounded more angry than Bryan had ever heard him.

"What?" Bryan tried his best to keep his voice neutral.

"I've never once dated, fucked, or kissed Daniel Garcia." Wheeler growled out, his words sounding like gravel in a wood chipper.

"...what?" Bryan looked completely shocked. He was so sure. He knew. He...he'd seen. Something? Stuff? Bryan swallowed the lump in his throat.

"You fucking heard me." Wheeler snapped as he grabbed his things.

"You guys aren't...?" Bryan licked the blood off his lip. The copper taste grounding him.

"Nope. Never have, never would have." Wheeler shoved Bryan to get past even though there was plenty of space to walk. "Don't fucking talk to me Bryan. I don't want anything to do with you anymore."

Bryan was still staggered by Wheeler's shove when those words bounced around the empty room, and Wheeler left.

Wheeler was gone.

[shina913]

Okay so, i just finished Coquet and i am in LOVE ! the story was so good, so different with the plot and the idea, and your writing was also exquisite. I loved how stark the contrast was between “J“ and “Jungkook“. I also loved how sceptic Oc was and i think she actually portrayed all of us with this whole concept of getting to know an escort. And i have to be honest when i say that i KNEW Jk is an actual doc and that Haru and Jennie had smth. The way Jungkook answered all the questions about his shifts and how hard it gets was just SO natural and easy going i just knew from the beginning he is an actual doc. And after Oc asked Jennie at the pub if she knew smth and she got all defensive, i knew that she and Haru had smth. What i honestly didn‘t like was that Taehyung still married her. I mean whats the difference between Haru and Jennie ? Haru is his childhood best friend who slept with the love of his life. Yes that all happened when they werent even together but he still betrayed his friend. Jennie is a very close friend of theirs also since childhood and decided to sleep with the boyfriend of his ( Taehyungs ) sister. She was the one who Oc cried to for months. She was the one who acted clueless this whole time seeing Oc miserable. Jennie betrayed her close friend who happens to be the sister of the love of her life. Just bc she felt shitty abt her own love life with Tae and couldn‘t understand when hes going to confess to her, she was 50% of the reason on why Oc‘s relationship was destroyed. She destroyed another relationship bc she felt shitty for her own life. I dont understand why they dont want to talk to Haru and have no contact with him, but with Jennie its okay ? I honestly would‘ve found it better if Tae didnt marry her and Haru and Jennie would get what they deserve for cheating, backstabbing and lying. At the end, i feel happy that Oc found her true love with Jungkook and that Jungkook found someone who will accept his past, his present and his future without judging him.

- 🧚🏻

Hi, Pixie Anon!

First off, thank you so much for reading Coquet 🥰 Secondly, thank you for this ask! I'm always up for a healthy discussion when it comes to my fics so I will do my best to answer your questions and address your points below.

So, I’ll get right into the point where you’re conflicted with—the part where Taehyung still married Jennie despite everything that happened.

First, I acknowledge that I didn’t add a specific timeline or an explicit indication of the passage of time when I wrote the epilogue. I hoped that I had implied that but perhaps that didn’t come through clearly. I want to clarify that the wedding did NOT happen immediately. With that established, let’s get right into the point of contention!

To answer your question, there is no difference between Haru and Jennie. They were both at fault here. However, I wanted to highlight the conversation that OC and Taehyung had at the hospital. Both of them were conflicted, especially Taehyung because despite what Jennie did, he still loves her. With that in mind, he’s worried about how his sister would feel about that. I firmly believe that that feeling is rooted in reality. Some of us still have love for the people who caused us hurt. Many of us don’t openly admit that for fear of judgment—and Taehyung says as much in this conversation. Also, logically, you shouldn’t love the person who hurt you. It doesn’t make sense, right?

To which, OC responds—both those facts can be true. Things don’t always have to be so black and white all the time. And this is something that I constantly try to work into my fics—that we, as humans, often venture into many gray areas.

While Haru was out of the picture, Jennie didn’t get away scot-free (if that’s what you’re thinking). What she did was terrible and she was not forgiven right away. Taehyung wasn’t speaking to her, their big wedding was canceled, and she was embarrassed in front of family and friends. In that respect, I thought that she was held accountable for her actions.

And while it’s not written out, it’s implied that it took time for Taehyung and Jennie to rebuild that relationship before deciding to get married again.

Taehyung was apprehensive about patching things up with her. You’ll read traces of his apprehension through that same conversation that he and OC had at the hospital. He hasn’t returned her calls despite still having these feelings for her. OC, on the other hand, is urging him to at least try because OC recognizes that Taehyung and Jennie love each other very much and what they have is the real deal.

Granted, OC was enraged after learning the truth, you have to wonder—what benefit would she get out of casting Jennie out? Let’s say she “punishes” Jennie for the hurt that she caused. And then what? What would OC get out of that? A couple days of self-righteous gloating? And what’s next after that?

What about Taehyung? What satisfaction would OC get out of telling him to cut her out of his life just because she asked him to? In the end, Taehyung would be miserable and OC would have a hand in that, right? How is that a good ending for them both?

While I get the desire for an ‘eye for an eye,’ because when you’re hurt, you want the other person to feel the same way that you do or did (which is also a justifiable feeling), that is not the story that I want to write. When I write, I always want to show growth in my characters after I put them through some hardships/challenges. And that growth in OC is shown through letting go of the past and moving forward in her life. Did she forgive Jennie right away?

From the final scene in Chapter 8:

She opened her mouth tentatively, looking like she was deciding whether she should say anything else or not. She swallowed hard. “D-does this mean that…you forgive me?” She whispered.

You softened your face. “Right now? No,” you say simply.

Her expression is pained and quite frankly, you didn’t want to twist that blade any further.

“But I won’t stay angry. That said, I think,” you paused, “…that should be enough for both of us to move on from this. I can’t tell you how things will turn out tomorrow but tonight, I can’t pretend that everything is okay.”

And back to what I previously said, what would OC get out of depriving her brother of his happiness—knowing that he might be able to find it in Jennie? While it seems as if OC is giving Taehyung an out by ‘saving’ him from another difficult decision, I don’t think that’s the case the second time around. If you’ll recall, in the beginning, when the stuff with Haru went down, OC left. She was hurt and brokenhearted and didn’t want Taehyung to make that difficult decision.

While some part of OC wanted to show up Haru by bringing JK as her date, in the end, she realizes that she and Haru were absolutely done. They were done from the moment he ended their engagement—there’s nothing left to salvage there. It was time for OC to move on. And I don’t think that’s OC giving Taehyung an out or Jennie a pass by leaving them both to find their happiness. OC decided to pursue her own happiness in the end anyway.

I hope that answers your questions? And if they didn’t, that’s perfectly fine. I am still grateful for your feedback! I am glad that you enjoyed the story and took the time to send me this ask! 💕

[kanmom51]

Hi and I want to apologies in advance for my long ass question that pretty much comes with an introduction, but I want to give some context to it.

So… for starters I´m not an “official shipper” or someone that searches jikook intentionally, if I come across the content I think “aww that’s cute” “I love how they make each other happy” and that’s pretty much it. Being a 100% honest I’m biased towards Jimin, I respect and support all of them but my love for Jimin is just something else, so much that I don’t really have a bias wrecker, I even entered the fandom after I saw that famous “7 second clip” of him. But having him as your bias inevitably leaves you coming across JK sooner or later and of course there is a soft spot in my hearth for him, because why wouldn’t I?, he clearly is someone special to Jimin, ofc I don’t know the exact nature of their bond whenever it’s as friends, brothers, lovers or whatever BUT is something that is making my bias happy, so it makes me happy. I mean… he took him on a trip, exercises with him, check’s on him at his hotel room 3 times a day, emotionally supports him ( complementing him, calling him hard worker, on the ONU speech incident, etc) I’m realizing as I write this, that I do sound like a shipper, just by knowing all of that, but you don’t even need to ship them to know those things, you don’t have to search or “plot” to know, it’s right there in your face, I know because I never miss anything related to Jimin and those things happened and they did with JK.

The reason I came across your blog was bc after looking into the hate Jimin was getting on twitter from either other ships with JK or JK solo (y/n) stans I’m trying to understand why. It’s like everyone it’s ok as long it’s not Jimin, dear lord forbids Jimin breaths near him cuz he is Begging for attention, which lead me for the first time in my life to intentionally look for jikook as maybe something more, cuz I’m from Mexico and as people in here say “si el rio suena es porque agua lleva” or “If the river sounds it’s because there must be some water on it”, so… the question is basically why for so many people it can be anyone but Jimin? all of them getting pressed and with their veins close to explode got me second guessing, because why to get angry with something that is not a threat? Another thing I’m coming across its that people treats JK as if he was the ultimate price or jackpot that no one deserves, specially not Jimin and frankly that offends me, I almost feel like a mother LOL, like what its wrong with my son? Why wouldn’t he be more than enough for your son if that was the case Karen?

Oh anon, you asked me a couple of questions and without even realising it answered them both in your own ask.

I'm happy to hear how someone that isn't a Jikook shipper or supporter per say not only recognizes the clear as day special connection those two have, but is also willing to say it out loud.

And just like you see it and recognize just how much these two are linked, where JM is there will many times be "a JK" there or following or around, others see it too, and it bugs the hell out of them.

“si el rio suena es porque agua lleva” or “If the river sounds it’s because there must be some water”

Exactly!!! I love that saying anon.  Kind of like “if it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and quacks like a duck, then it probably is a duck”.

People love to ship. They love to play pretend that two hunky idols are together, but this is as long as they aren't really queer, as long as they look good placed next to each other, but hell, they aren't really in a queer real live relationship.

It's funny how some shippers fight so hard for their ship, while these ships are unattainable, the two members are distant, and they love to play the hidden card. I wonder what would happen to the popularity of said ship if those same two idols were to exhibit the same behaviour that JM & JK do.

As you said, many perceive JK as a lottery grand prize, one they think they have chance in winning some day (someone needs to tell them what the chances to win the lottery are, lol). JK is the golden maknae. He was built up as such by the company and his band mates. He's good looking, he's multitalented, he's hunky manly, the wet dream for every girl with eyes in her head. And JM, well to these people JM is ruining him. How dare he 'turn' their manly man JK. JM is the seducer, in a way, the competition. And none of this would matter if they didn't see what we all do, that JK would rather be with JM than anyone else. That JK looks at JM like he's the most wonderful thing in the world. That JK adores JM. That JK looks at JM like these people only dream he would look at them.

JK&JM are too real. If it was only a close friendship I think people wouldn't be acting the way they are towards JM. But they have eyes, and as much as they scream blue murder that it's only queerbaiting and fanservice, they know. And because they know, that's why they are so vile and hateful towards JM. JM threatens them. He threatens their JK fantasy. JK can't be queer, and JM, well JM being there with JK, JK being there with JM, the way they are with each other, the way they look at each other, act around each other, that brings down the fantasy. It's kind of like, in their twisted way of thinking, JM is 'the other woman', but even worse, because he's 'the other man', which would, god forbid it, make JK queer, and how can that be, their masculine manly man JK queer???? Clearly, JM's to blame for that, right?

[dr3amofagame]

the amount of angst in the post-prison writing you did just gave me massive post-prison dream brainrot and i'm just. sitting here thinking about how sam dealt with the curious looks and glances and having to face what's he's done as a warden. and everyone else's reaction to everything because hey, maybe the prison WAS a torture chamber that nobody deserves to be locked in to be treated like utter trash.

(btw i love your writing and analysis! they give me so much life :DD)

thank you anon!! this universe is ,, Fun ,, im ngl -> have this continuation of it, w/ sapnap and sam!! it’s a bit messy but oh well

(edit: i added these two asks as well bc they fit and i thought it’d be a bit redundant to rewrite this scene lmao -> the implication that dream’s admissions abt exile mightve been the result of ,, torture is. uh. yikes.) 

(This one is DARK, please heed the warnings)

TW: PHYSICAL/EMOTIONAL ABUSE (heavy warning for this one), starvation, toxic relationship, manipulation, references to the prison and exile, c!sam/warden!sam critical, violence, blood, dark themes, emotional distress, child abuse, torture

“Be honest,” Sapnap starts, quiet. “What did you do?”

Sam opens his mouth - hesitates, looks away. He should’ve known that his vague words and half-explanations that had been enough to push away most of the crowd - or at least, postpone the conversation for later - wouldn’t have been nearly enough to convince the man standing in front of him, but a part of him must’ve hoped, anyway. He’s not ready to speak, not ready to admit anything to himself, never mind someone else entirely - but ‘ready’ doesn’t matter, not when Sapnap is right here, waiting.

(He ignores how ‘ready’ didn’t matter for Dream when Sam had gone in, that first time, pick in hand and nothing but questions and rage spinning in an endless cycle in his mind, whirling together into something incomprehensible, insatiable, vicious - he’s not thinking about it.

He can’t think about it.)

“Well?” Sapnap’s voice raises, impatience coloring his tone, and it’s almost enough to draw a chuckle to Sam’s lips - he’d always been a little overeager, not doing well with silence, waiting, even as a kid. It’s part of the reason why he got along with Dream so well, Dream jumping at the chance to spend time with someone that didn’t shut him down for rambling and Sapnap simply excited at the chance to have someone that would join him on his hare-brained schemes instead of dismissing him as a dumb kid- and oh. Right.

The scrunch of his face is the same, Sam realizes, absently, as the expression Sapnap had when he was little; it’s the same crease between his eyebrows, the same slight jut to his bottom lip. Even with a new scar decorating his left jaw and the shadows under his eyes and collection of faint wrinkles belying his stress, he doesn’t look all that different - still looks young, a kid playing dress up in armor too big and too war-torn to belong to him. It’s easy to forget, but even after all the wars they’ve fought, even with all of the combat experience he’s had, Sapnap’s still barely twenty - only a few weeks out of being a teenager.

(He crushes the thought of what that makes Dream - he’s not. Thinking. About. It.)

“Hello? Earth to Sam?” Sapnap snaps his fingers in front of his face, and Sam blinks away the memories, the guilt, boxing it up and filing it neatly away to deal with - later. Never, ideally.

“Are you going to answer my question?”

Only later is now, there’s no escaping this conversation, and Sam. Really doesn’t want to be talking about this, right now. Sapnap fidgets, leaning on his right foot and then his left and then rocking back again - the feeling is mutual, then, but he knows the look in the younger’s eye well enough to know that neither of them are leaving without an explanation leaving Sam’s lips.

(Netherite and iron and smoke, bloodstained pickaxe tipping up a gaunt face, hand reaching around a too-prominent jawline with bruising force - are you going to answer my question, prisoner? Or are we going to have to do this again?

He’s not-

He can’t-)

“I-,” guilt, thick and heavy, circles his throat, chokes the words rising in his mouth. What can he even say? Can words really capture the sweat-slick desperation, the bubbling lava and heat and smoke stealing away all breath and thought, leaving nothing but a humming buzz of rage burning, hissing, begging for release? Can he really describe the endless darkness and weight settling on his shoulders, the hard edges and jagged fear taking anything soft, anything kind? Words swim in the back of his throat, try to reach his teeth, fall short; bloodstained memories haunt the back of his eyelids every time he blinks; there is so much, too much, to say, and yet nothing at all.

How does he even start?

There is no sympathy on Sapnap’s face when Sam looks, but there isn’t any cruelty either, just dark, watching eyes, lips thin and pressed together, jaw clamped shut, tense. Indifference, or a pale imitation of it, meant to hide the mess of his hair, the tremble in his hands, the helpless, desperate thing growing in his pupils. Sam understands and wishes he doesn’t; regrets, and wonders if he has the right, anymore.

“It- started, as an interrogation,” Sam stumbles over his words, stares at his hands because looking at Sapnap’s face will be too much, is too much. “I was angry. The prisoner- Dream- was desperate. That cell-” he shakes his head, remembers obsidian in his hands, remembers tearing away carpet, paintings, plants, remembers leaving the box bareboned, desolate, a cage and nothing more, “It messes with you. Screws with your head. I knew it, he knew it, but I guess we didn’t realize- I guess I didn’t realize-”

(Blood and crunching bone and shrill screams - tell me what you did to him-)

“I needed information. He wasn’t talking. I got- heated, and he laughed, and something- snapped, I guess.”

(I’ll tell you I’m sorry please please sam stop please)

“All I had on me was a pickaxe. He wasn’t talking, I was desperate - angry - I needed to know. I didn’t-”

(I just knew I needed to drag him away, he was ruining everything, he was destroying everything, I just needed him to leave before he brought down the whole damn server with him - the tnt was supposed to be a one time thing)

“It was supposed to be- one time. Was never supposed to happen, at all. But I guess I got mad - for me? For Tommy? I don’t- I don’t know, and it was- easy, you know? Take away the clock, one day. Give him less potatoes the next.”

(It was easy to do it again, I guess, mess with his invitations a little, take some of his stuff. There was nobody around but me and him and he’d ruined so much, he’d messed everything up - I thought that maybe if I took away his armor enough, he wouldn’t be able to go back. He wouldn’t ruin everything.)

“He’d done- so much. He was so awful to Tommy, to everyone- I thought I could prevent that. I thought maybe if I broke him enough, he wouldn’t be able to hurt anyone again. I renamed the pickaxe Will Breaker, to remind me, to remind him, I don’t know. I-”

Sam laughs, tired, poisonous, ignoring the way Sapnap whispers, stricken, looking at his hands and seeing nothing but red. Dream’s face, bruised, bloody, but glimmering with something almost like satisfaction comes to mind - and oh. Oh.

(Bloodstained teeth twisted in a bitter smile - Sam, I thought I had to.)

He gets it now. He wishes he didn't.

“I thought- ha-” His hand comes up to his face - he’s crying. When did he start crying? ”I thought I had to.”

[heyitsyn]

Manager!Seijoh Part 2

a/n: lmao this is kinda weird for me but i think this was an interesting request so lets try it!

for more seijoh content, check this masterlist out!

lowkey kyotani kentaro typa beat but you gotta squint (??)

also warning! angst!

anon request: Hii! I just read the seijoh manager headcannon you wrote, it made me cry so much, i love those seijoh boys so much, and you are such an amazing writer! I dont know if requests are open or not but i was wondering what would happen if the boys ever find out what happened to reader cha? If requests aren’t open or if you just don’t want to write about it, I completely understand! Thank you for your wonderful writing again! Stay safe!

the stageplay was *chefs kiss* like MY MANS IWA WAS SERVING LOOKSSSS

soooooo

this might get really angsty idk so just a warning in advance

anyways

i mentioned in the earlier part that no one really knew what happened to you

so this one is when they DO find out what happened and what theyre gonna do about it

so first off, kyoken was basically the only one who saw you that day and saw how badly you looked

the thing is, at that current moment, he didnt really know the reason why and what happened

he had theories that you got jumped or you just got into an accident 

but he was prettttttyyyy sure you got beat up

so you went home and rushed to yanno, take a shower and get your wound treated and cleaned so that it would heal bc you really cannot afford to let the boys see that

they would think of the worst at the smallest sight of blood on you and you really didnt want to deal w that chaos at the moment

you cant let them get suspended from school since they were going to interhigh soon and you cant let oikawa and the boys ruin their reputations just for you

a first year girl theyve just met

it was kinda hard to rinse all of the milk from your hair but you were able to at least get the smell out and clean up your mess

then you looked in the mirror and saw faint handprints around your throat from that girl miyo and you cringed as you touched it

‘jesus christ, seriously what does she eat? bricks?’

after your clothes were in the wash, you went to bed to get homework done and also looking up how to use the concealer to hide your bruises 

you didnt really own any makeup but your mom has some so you could just use that

during dinner, you wore a turtleneck to prevent any suspicion from happening but you couldnt really hide the big gash on your face

‘y/n, what happened!’

‘i was dumb and accidentally fell up the stairs’

your parents shared a chuckle bc theyve actually seen you do this before so it was easy to believe the lie

‘darling, do we need to get you glasses? it seems your sight has worsened’

‘haha’

you went along with the joke but you weren’t eating and just pushed your food around

‘y/n? is the food not good?’

your mother asked but you shook your head with a convincing smile

‘its good! i just had some meat buns with the team earlier and i ate a lot so im still full’

you cursed at yourself for making it sound so rehearsed but you were relieved when your mother nodded

the next morning, you were satisfied with the reduced puffing of your face and you snuck into your parents bathroom where her makeup bag would be

as you held up the concealer, you started getting anxious because this was not the same shade as your skin and it would definitely raise suspicion if you had a different color on your neck than the rest of your body

you already planned to blame your wound as acne that you accidentally scratched but what were you going to do with the handprints?

the website you read said that it would take at least a day for them to fade

so you decided youd just wear a scarf and pretend you were cold

kunimi was confused as to why you had a scarf bundled around your neck and his eyes even widened at the sight of the bandaid on your face

‘y/n! what-!’

he shot up from his seat and your eyes widened before hissing at him to sit down

‘what happened to you?!’

he worriedly asked but you waved him off with a small smile

‘acne. this was the only available bandaid in my house so i had to work with this’

kunimi might be a lazy little shit but he was observant

and he noticed the way you said that sentence

it was like a robot

like a robot programmed to say what was written on its script

but before he could press on further, you already pointed out that the teacher was coming in and to hush so you could listen

the entire time, kunimi was awake alright, but he was too busy looking at you and a bright red thing that poked from the edge of your bandaid

kindaichi went to your classroom for lunch and you had to repeat your excuse for him but he pointed at another thing

‘why are you wearing a scarf? its like burning in here’

you didnt look at him as you just opened your bento

‘being in your period causes your temperature to fluctuate and cause unexplainable chill at even the hottest places’

okay what

they both shared a look and just shrugged, blaming it on your time of the month for the way you spoke with no emotion in your tone

this had to be the longest school day of your life

the whole time the scarf remained on and kunimi cant help but notice your flinches at the smallest of sounds

finally practice arrived and you really thought you could pull this off until oikawa barreled straight towards you and hugged you tightly

‘y/n-chan! you okay?! oikawa-senpai was so worried for you!’ 

you cringed but nodded

‘im okay, oikawa-san’

‘senpai, y/n-chan! call me senpai!’

‘im not going to feed into your kink, oikawa-san’

*cue everyone busting a lung*

‘y/n, what’s the-’

‘acne. only bandaid available in my house’

eventually, everything was fine

you were still cracking jokes w the others and you were still laughing w them so kunimi and kindaichi were at ease

but that shattered when oikawa was being oikawa and was being all touchy and bothering you about the scarf around your neck that he ended up pulling it off and he saw the marks

he was silent, just staring at them

ofc you were freaking out and you started breathing heavily

oh god he found out and he was going to hurt them

‘o-oikawa-senpai, listen, it’s not what it-’

‘y/n’

his voice made your eyes shut in fear and the others crowded around you and they all had scandalized looks on their faces

‘is this why you werent in practice yesterday?’

his voice was sharp, a complete opposite to his normally cheerful tone

you shivered and sighed

‘senpai, please dont-’

‘who is it?’

the other third years shared a look bc they were truly shook at oiks voice

‘w-why should i tell you?! its none-’

‘i am your captain and i deserve to know who is pulling you away from your managerial duties so he could just give you these damn hickeys!’

the gym turned silent

you stopped then furrowed your eyebrows

‘hickey? what-’

‘dont act like you dont know, y/n. so just be honest and tell me who’s your boyfriend’

lmao i shouldnt laugh bc this was supposed to be sad but im cackling at how dumb oikawa really is sometimes

‘i-i,,,,’

you stuttered but you knew this was the perfect opportunity

you could just blame it on this ridiculous misunderstanding 

its a difficult hole to get out of but it would be easier than the other

so you pretended to be flustered and turned around to hide your face

‘it was a one-time thing, oikawa-san. i promise it wont happen again’

HELLO WHAT

the team was leaking the feeling of RAGE

how dare someone take their manager!

she was theirs!

and it doesnt help that every player might have a little thing for you

is this really turning into a harem

oikawa kept demanding answers but iwa hit him enough to quit and they finally went back to practicing but they were still distracted

every time they looked at you, they would grow flustered and red and end up missing a block or a serve

they just cant see their baby manager like that

you noticed it quickly and irritably got on them

‘stop staring at my neck and get back to practice!’

they flinched and saluted at you

lmao this little first year girl is able to control nearly a dozen <5′10 men who are all older than her

but you were glad that they finally stopped asking about it

this was going to go by smoothly and you were going to be okay

however,,,

several days later,,,

this is an angst fanfiction so i will bring thy angst

you were taking out your class garbage since it was your group’s turn in cleaning the classroom when you were grabbed by the arm on your way back

it was still outside and after school so it wouldve been an unlikely situation that someone would help you

it was that biatch miyo again and her 2 minions behind her

then you recognized one girl from the track team who was actually a year older than you but you saw her dropping off some files in the office

if you tried to run, she could easily grab you w her fast legs

great

you were stuck

you let out a tired sigh and crossed your arms on your chest

‘what is it you want from me, again?’

she smirked

‘you really dont know how to listen, do you? i told you to stay away from oikawa but youre still flaunting around with him!’

is she serious?

this girl was borderline stalker/yandere type of girl

you gave her an incredulous look and frowned

‘girl, do you hear yourself? you damn crazy and im leaving’

but she grabbed you back and shoved you against the wall

but this time, you kicked her on the chest to make her fall on her flat booty

surprise was written on their faces and you stretched your arms in front of you to symbolize distance

‘one more step and ill beat tf out of you. i just got my nails off so id watch it if i were you’

miyo huffed and stood up, brushing herself, glaring at one of the girls who tried to help her

then she remembered what you told her

‘hmm? if you hit me, you could be kicked off of the team since you hurt another student. so, go ahead, little kouhai’

she was right

even if it was self-defense, the school’s disciplinary section sucked and just suspended or kicked off people left and right even though they didnt do anything wrong

you were stumped

you were here on a scholarship, not on tuition

your mom would KILL you if she found out you got into a fight and got a record

but you didnt show that and kept your tough facade

‘dont challenge me. i could be a crazy bitch and i dont think youd like your little face being all messed up. so watch your mouth and leave me alone’

you turned to leave but she grabbed your hair and tugged it back

lmao flashbacks to the other part

she twisted your hair into a ponytail and had a firm grip while a girl kicked you behind your knees so you would fall to the ground

oh no you were done w this

you elbowed miyo on the stomach the hardest you could and she groaned which loosened her hold and you kicked her again to the ground

some other girl hit your side and you winced before slapping her straight across the face bc you didnt want to punch her and hurt your knuckles

but they were really testing you

the last girl still had your hair but you twisted around to face her and just did the last you could think of that would hurt

hit her right between her legs

you finally escaped their hold and miyo lunged after you

‘oh my god leave me alone!’

you yelled before holding up your arms to protect your face but she scratched your arms 

obviously you were losing this bc it was just you but you were going to fight as much as you can

‘bad kouhais need to be punished! your senpais need to teach you a lesson!’

miyo screeched and you grabbed her arm before punching her straight at the boob

sorry rebecca

however, one girl was smart and did the same thing you did to her knees and made you fall to a kneeling position and eventually made you curl into a fetal position

gurl we actually fighting so hard considering we’ve never been in a fight

they continuously kicked you before miyo pulled up your head so you could sit up and kneel in front of her

ofc you tried to grab at her and punch at her

but these other girls were able to catch you and trap your arms in their hold and had their feet on your legs so you couldnt kick

great, another bathroom scene

your arms were bleeding from miyo’s scratches and your sides were hurting after their kicks

you lost and you were already bleeding in places you didnt think you would

this would be the last attempt and if he doesnt come, you’re done for

‘IIIIIIWWWWWAAAAAAAA-SAAAAAANNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!’

your scream echoed throughout the entire are

possibly could be heard in new york

and your voice became hoarse

ofc the girls were surprised and caught off guard but when there was silence and clear that no one was coming, they started laughing

‘oh, so cute! iwa-san? is that supposed to be iwaizumi-san? heh, you whoring around w him too? thats so cute-’

‘LET. GO. OF. HER. NOW.’

I GOT CHILLS

the girls holding you shrieked and dropped their hold on you before scrambling back causing you to drop to the ground

miyo’s eyes were wide and there was horror all over her face at the voice of that infamous boy

kyotani kentarou

‘WHAT THE FK ARE YOU DOING?!’

he yelled and miyo turned around to be met with his piercing eyes before screaming and running away with her minions in tow

‘YEA RUN AWAY! FKING COWARDS!’

ltr the cursing is so awkward for me to do but this is his character and im just so awkward so sorry!!

you coughed and winced at the pain on your side which caught his attention

again, he noticed you as the manager of their team and you���ve been hanging out w him, well, just him staring at you, at the alley while you feed the animals

you were actually nice and caring and definitely didnt deserve this

‘oi, y-you okay?’

you didnt look up, just closing your eyes in pain and biting your lips to not let out the crying

his eyes softened at you and he noticed you were trying to act tough and brave even though you just got beat up

normally, he wouldnt even help anyone but it seems you just did something to him

he sighed before gently picking you up, you not even bothering to stop him, and he held you tightlyin his arms as he carried you to the nurses office

he had a feeling you didnt want to be seen like this and hes been in the nurse enough to know she actually leaves the moment school ends

you let out a shaky breath as he set you down on the cot and you opened your eyes to reach your hold for him when he went away

‘n-no, don’t leave-’

but he grunted softly before holding your wrist

‘im just getting your damn medicine. chill out’

lowkey getting bakugou vibes

you nodded and went to close your eyes again

kyo returned w some pain relief medicine from his bag that he carries 

babie actually gets into fights often and he needs it sometimes

and he had alcohol medicine kind istg and bandaids for your arms

it was silent as you drank the pills and he sat down next to you so he could treat the wounds

but he let his curiosity take over him

‘why the fk did you let them do this to you’

he grunted and you scoffed with a smile

‘let? more like overpower me and grip me as they just hit me’

‘cant you fight them back?’

you glared at him

‘bruh i literally kneed some girl in their cooch but they just some superhuman typa girls that cant be hurt’

he sighed

‘maybe you just werent strong enough’

okay listen here you lil shit

you didnt want to listen to him scold you anymore so you just went back to closing your eyes

but kyo is actually lowkey nosy so he kept asking questions

‘the first time we met. was it her too?’

you flinched in surprise

‘you remembered that?’

‘ofc i did. you looked like shit. not as bad as this but still like shit’

‘gee thanks, stranger-kun’

‘kyotani,,, kentarou’

you smiled

‘nice to meet you, kyotani kentarou. im l/n y/n’

‘i know’

he mumbled but you didnt catch it

‘thanks for hearing me and coming to help’

he hummed

he wasnt going to tell you that he actually heard the scream for his idol and thought hed be there so he ran to go see him but instead saw you

kyo just respects and looks up to iwa-chan so much it warms my heart uwu-

once you were all patched up, you were finally able to stand but you still staggered

he grabbed your arm softly and sat you back down

‘what the hell are you going to tell the team?’

you paused then sighed

‘i dont know. ill figure something out’

but he knew how observant the players would be and they would catch on

after all, he was there watching at the top bleachers as oikawa yelled at you for the ‘hickey’

‘if they didnt hit your face, you could get away with it. but you have wounds all over you and theyd find out. im guessing youre doing this bc you dont want to trouble them or burden them? bc they would do something about it?’

you just stared at this guy

‘how-’

‘just a guess’

he also wasnt going to tell you that he was actually part of the team but the constant fighting got him in suspension

and the fact that his parents were donors for the school, he only got a tap on the wrist

‘so what do i do, then?’

‘tell them-’

‘no i cant do that! another plan, kyo-kun!’

‘oi, im a second year, idiot. treat me with respect’

the irony bc he totally treats oikawa like trash

‘i just,,,, oikawa-san is seen as this prince/gentleman type and i know how protective he is towards me so the slightest problem could cause him to be ballistic. miyo is popular enough to circulate rumors about him and hes already in his third year and she is too so i just have to endure one year until theyre gone’

kyo was disgusted

all this for that stupid idiot captain?

‘youre dumber than i thought’

you weakly hit him at the arm

‘so mean, kyo-san’

‘i dont think its right youre suffering for someone who isnt even worth it’

you glared and linked your fingers together

‘im the manager. i knew this would happen the moment i signed up but i didnt care. as manager, i have to keep up the team’s image and their popularity for support so i cant let all that be ruined just bc a little first year girl couldnt fight for herself’

‘just tell them, kid. less problems’

then he stood up to leave

‘kid?! im only a year younger than you! what you mean!’

but you were panicking

someone knew about you being hurt and they could easily tell the team

and it only increased when he entered the gym and later introduced himself as a player

you were so surprised that you stopped breathing

‘kyo-san,,,’ 

you muttered and he glared at you

well, more like look at you but i have a theory that kyo actually has problems w his sight so it looks like he’s glaring at you constantly but hes just actually trying to see clearly

‘yo’

oikawa was surprised at this interaction

‘eh? you know kyoken-chan?’

you nodded, still looking at the blonde

‘i-uh’

‘its none of your business’

kyotani grunted and you sighed in relief

maybe your secret would be safe

you were still uneasy about him accidentally revealing it, especially since he practically worships iwaizumi-san, but he kept his mouth shut

your caring personality at first was overbearing on him but he appreciated your efforts like volunteering on helping him with his eyeliner or asking him if he needed help with his medical tape

ngl, he also thought you were there just bc it was a team full of guys and you thought you could have that weird girl fantasy of having a harem

but you cared for them like practically a mother and continuously made it clear to oikawa that you were NOT interested in going on a date with him

you werent annoying, you were nice, and you weren’t pushy so he actually showed you respect and took a liking to you

this created a soft of protectiveness around you

sometimes, he would see you around school and he would practically glare at the girls he knew hated you

and when he wasnt there to protect you, you would call him to the nurses office where he would mumble apologies of not being there while patching you up before he would go over and threaten them to touch you again and he would bite their fingers off

aww hes so cute

ofc he still kept your secret bc it wasnt his business to tell 

until that one day

it was normal practice with you helping the boys toss the balls so they could spike it

iwaizumi spiked it really hard making you flinch and he apologized profusely after you almost fell off the chair you were standing on in surprise

‘im just angry that that damn shittykawa is the captain and is late to his own damn practice’

oikawa? late?

that was unheard of

you were about to get off the chair and look for him when the devil himself entered the gym with the devil’s mistress on his arm

miyo was holding on to his arm as he laughed at something she said and ruffled her hair

you dropped the ball and kyotani quickly moved to you so he could stand in front of you protectively

‘oi! shittykawa! youre late!’

oikawa just smiled and pointed at the girl

‘miyo-chan made us cookies, iwa-chan!’

at the mention of food, the boys ran forward but you and kyotani remained at the side at the infamous name

you got off the chair and hurriedly placed an arm in front of him

‘don’t, kyo-san’

‘the bitch-’

‘i know. but please, dont’

you begged and he huffed before aggresively wrapping an arm around your shoulder

aggressively cares for you

‘if she does something or even talks shit, i will-’

‘kyoken-chan! y/n-chan! come here!’

oikawa called but kyotani snarled at him

you smile wobbled when miyo’s eyes narrowed at you and she smirked

‘oh? your manager is so cute, oikawa-kun!’

the rest of the team was just blinking at this weird tension

kyo had his arm tightly around you and hatingly glaring at this girl, who was icily smirking at you, and you tightly holding kyo’s shirt with a worried glint in your eyes

‘you were late to your own damn practice, oikawa. stop wasting time eating this shit and go back to playing’

tbh it still shocks you at how rudely kyo talks to oikawa but you were too pre-occupied on making sure this kid wasnt going to lunge at this girl

‘a-ah, right. oikawa-san, we have to return to practice. if you excuse us, miyo-san-’

you were about to gently grab oikawa’s arm to bring him back when she grabbed your wrist and secretly gripped it

‘oh, dont be so uptight, y/n-chan! i worked so hard-’

but kyo immediately snatched her hand away from you and squeezed it as tight as he could, making her wince

oikawa noticed the pain in miyo’s face and he was angry that kyotani was hurting a girl

‘oi! kyotani!’

he shouted and pushed him away, making the team, even iwa, worriedly look at kyo and brace themselves for the beating

iwa jumped into action and held the second year back while you jumped in front of oikawa

‘kyo-san, calm-’

‘you! be quiet’

he shouted, finger pointing at you

‘and you!’

before pointing to oikawa

‘you are a shitty captain’

‘kyotani!’

iwa was just straight out confused and hes really questioning life decisions right now

mom is stressed and confused, i repeat, MOM IS STRESSED AND CONFUSED

oikawa’s eyes narrowed but he just calmly talked

‘we’ll talk about this later’

‘miyo-san, we really need to practice so if you could see yourself out’

iwa gently smiled to the girl, who was about to protest, but makki and mattsun has already pointed to the door

she huffed then turned to leave and once she was gone, iwa let go of kyotani

‘kyotani, what the hell was that’

oikawa lowly asked and you were about to put your arms out to separate them but yahaba and watari grabbed you so you wouldnt be caught in the middle

then kyo turned to you, fire in his eyes

‘either you tell him or i will’

can we just talk about how protective kyo is?

you trembled and you roughly left yahaba and watari’s grip so you could gently place your hands on his chest

‘please, kyo. just leave it, okay? remember, it’s my busi-’

‘if i see that bitch enter this gym again, i dont give a flying fuck if shes a girl. ill beat the living daylights out of her’

‘kyotani kentarou, what-!’

oikawa shouted but your glare shut him up

‘y/n-chan, what is going on’

‘n-nothing. kyo-san is just, yknow, being him. you know? okay. now lets get back to practice, everyone!’

coach irihata and the other guy sharing that look

to say the least, miyo was pissed

and when she was pissed at you, she always did what she normally does

she corners you wherever its deserted and beat you with the help of her minions who holds you down while she slaps, hits, or kicks you

girlie you needs to tell the boys youre literally getting hit and abused and im just-!!!!!!!!!

and thats exactly what she did

only this time, she wore hard-tipped shoes

‘see, y/n-chan? i saved up and got these shoes just for you!’

the minions were just sharing looks of fear and genuine sympathy for you

they were only there bc she blackmailed them with pictures doing questionable things and if they dont help, they would be released

as usual, you didnt cry, biting your lip as you winced from the pain of her kick at your side

‘youre so pathetic. how could you do this to a person? and all this for your oikawa-san? for a boy?’

you wheezed at her causing her eyes to flare

‘HAH?! SAY THAT AGAIN!’

‘i said-’

but you were cut off when she slapped the soul out of you

her ring cut you at the lip and you cringed at the taste of blood from your lip

‘what else? we gotta hurry this up, miyo, because practice started like 5 minutes ago and im going to get yel-’

‘SHUT UP!’

kyotani entered the gym after his talk with his teacher and immediately looked around for you

his honey brown eyes scanned the area and they widened as your figure wasn’t in sight

‘oi, yahaba, wheres the manager’

the boy shrugged from the side 

‘i dont know. shes late though’

oh god

‘kindaichi! kunimi! youre in the same grade right? did you see where she went after class?’

kunimi paused to remember before answering

‘she stayed after to talk to obe-sensei for the homework, that’s all i know’

that meant she stayed behind and was probably somewhere

‘SHIT!’

he shouted before bolting out the door

ofc the boys were all worried of his outburst and started yelling after him

‘kyotani!’

‘kyoken-chan?!’

they followed him, who was running as fast as he can

the girls would probably do it outside to avoid having to clean up their mess and he almost wrenched the door open in a hurry to take a lap around the school building

it was certainly a sight to see: a boy with dyed blonde hair and two brown lines followed after an entire volleyball team who were screaming after him

‘YOU-!’

he heard that bitch voice and bolted towards the back, where the dumpster was, and found you at the same position like the first time he saw you

blood was dripping on the floor from your busted lip and a cut on your cheek while your eyes were wide at the sight of kyotani’s panting form

‘kyo-!’

‘kyotani!’

your eyes watered at the sight of the entire volleyball team behind him, also eviqualiently surprised yet fuming angry

the girls who held you dropped your arms and ran for the hills so they wouldnt get caught

kyo pushed miyo aside as he grabbed you from the floor and held you

oikawa gave miyo a look that cannot even be described in words

all it was: incredibly, super, ridiculously, heatedly, furiously, angry

now multiply that by the entire team

‘hm, my father, who is the chieftain of the police, mentioned about there being jail time for even minors who commit serious acts like assault or bullying’

mattsun seethed

‘really? i think he’d like the video as evidence against kenta miyo for assault and battery, including bullying, so how many years would that add up to? nearly a decade?’

the girl miyo squeaked as oikawa and iwaizumi roughly grabbed each wrist

‘how long’

miyo trembled at the increased pressure on her wrist

‘IM ASKING YOU A FUCKING QUESTION! HOW LONG!’

iwaizumi has never shouted at a girl before and hopefully, it would be the last

‘s-s-since l-last month’

you burrowed your head in kyotani’s shirt

‘please dont’

‘shut the fk up, y/n-chan, we’re not talking to you right now’

oikawa coldly reprimanded

‘everyone, take y/n away. iwaizumi and i can take care of this. but mattsun, makki, track down those 3 girls and find others who have even touched our manager’

‘got it, boss’

if it was in a different situation, you wouldve applauded oikawa at his ability to be a leader but you were currently in pain from the bruises and the cuts all over you

your fellow first-years were angrily punching things in the nurse’s office

rip nurse in the morning when she finds holes all over her walls

the irony is, the most agressive one, kyotani kentarou, was the calmest as he quietly cleaned your wounds and placed ointment on the bruises

‘i told you so’

he mumbled and you scoffed

‘howd you find me anyways?’

‘dumb bitch yaps really loud’

he answered

no one was yelling at you and no one was saying a word

eventually, oikawa and iwaizumi entered followed by the rest of the third years

‘why. why didnt you tell us, y/n?’

oikawa asked as he sat down on the chair beside the bed

you looked down and fiddled with your fingers

‘if i did, you wouldve hurt her. and she wouldve spread rumors about you and ruin the image and reputation of the grand king and the volleyball team. i didnt want to do that to you and thought i could just endure it one year since youre graduating anyways’

iwaizumi sucked in a harsh breath

‘you wouldn’t have known what we were going to do. you are no oracle and you dont know how we are going to handle this situation. so you were really stupid for keeping these things to yourself, y/n. you may be our manager and our caretaker but let us take care of you too’

you nodded but your tears fell

‘sorry. im really sorry. i didnt meant to trouble you’

‘stop apologizing, y/n’

‘sorry’

‘y/n!’

you bowed your head low and bit your lip in guilt

‘i shouldve told you but i didnt and now everyone is troubled-’

‘we’re a team, y/n. youre not a lone wolf anymore. you have a pack standing right beside you’

watari mumbled and he sat down to give you his favorite hug: the one arm hug

‘im super angry right now and it might seem like im snappy but i really want you to know, y/n, that i really love you and i am just hurt that you didnt trust us enough to tell us you were suffering when i trust you with my entire being. so next time youre hurting or in pain, dont you dare keep it to yourself. tell us, okay? tell your senpais and friends about it so we can share that burden’

oikawa babie you are so mature like what-

what started out as a hug from watari turned into a team hug around the tiny bed, even kyo joined, and you were so happy you found a good team that appreciated you and everything youve done and accepted you as one of their own

‘oikawa-san, what did you do to miyo?’

‘again, im mad y/n-chan, so please dont talk about her right now’

‘iwa-san?’

‘dont use those puppy eyes on me! dont you dare-- okay, we’re pressing charges’

silence

‘WHAT?!’

‘and iwa-chan slapped her!’

‘WHAT?!’

‘shut up shittykawa you did too!’

‘WHAT?!’

a/n: this hurted a bit and im sorry if this was lowkey awkward and all over the place but i didnt exactly know how to portray this situation since ive never experienced this, just bullying in general, before but for those who have, please tell someone so that you dont have to carry that burden by yourself. it doesnt have to be a your parents, but talk to a trusted adult so that this type of stuff doesnt happen to you bc you truly dont deserve that type of treatment and deserve to be happy and feel safe in an environment like school or anywhere in general

[stxleslyds]

I’ve heard a bunch of different opinions on this throughout the years, but I don’t know if you already got this question:

Do you think that Jason should be on a team/have relationships outside of the batfam? Because I’ve seen some say that his character only works when completely isolated (at least in the terms of positive relationships) while others say that it’s high time that he starts gaining actual friends and such like the rest of the Robins. Personally, I’m team friends bc I’m getting bored of all of Jason’s best stories having to pit him against basically everybody (or him being chained to rest of the bats all the time. Also I feel like Jason not having chemistry with anyone is because he’s rarely allowed to interact with other characters while remaining competent and well written)

Hi! Thank you for the ask!

I will be honest, for some reason, this question is making me go back and forth with what I want to say. So, as I am writing this, I am also telling myself the answer to this question.

First of all, I am a big fan of Jason having no interaction with the Bat-Clan in comics’ canon. This whole “Batfamily” thing isn’t really my thing or what I would like to see in Jason Todd/Red Hood books. To me, that concept doesn’t belong in comics and it’s not real, DC has made no effort in actually building a family with these characters so I would love it if Jason was “taken out” of the Batfamily narrative.

But as of now Jason has been pushed and locked away with these characters so DC can “sell” more books to people that can find that narrative for free in fanfiction.

Now, would I like Jason getting a team and/or friends if he weren’t involved with the Bat-Clan now? The answer would be no. Well, the short answer will be no and I will tell you why.

Jason Todd as the Red Hood is a character with no specific or distinguishable character traits. He has been in constant limbo, characterization-wise, ever since Lobdell stopped writing him. Me saying that is in no way me praising Lobdell for his ten years of absolute garbage writing because Lobdell was also messy when characterizing Jason. But on a certain level, his Jason followed a line or structure.

Now everything is a mess, every writer that comes by for a couple of issues either adds something that will eventually only confuse people or they recycle old stories that have long been solved. Jason has had his story re-written way too many times.

Where am I going with this, you ask? Well, adding a team or friends will only worsen things for Jason’s characterization, this has happened before, namely, with Red Hood and the Outlaws (2011). RHatO started fresh after Jason’s characterization was butchered by two or three different writers and instead of this new writer going to the original material (UtRH) he decided to start fresh, and alongside that fresh new start came the absolute character assassination of two very well-loved characters, Roy Harper and Koriand’r.

Jason’s, Roy’s, and Kory’s characterizations were all modified so much that we essentially had three new characters in our hands. And that was done so the writer could fit these characters in the story that he wanted to tell.

And that is my biggest fear right now for Jason, him being re-written/modified even more beyond recognition for him to fit with a team or something like that. And it is scary because if Jason has been in limbo for the past year, right now he is drowning in limbo, DC took his guns away, they dragged him back to Bat-Dramaland and he is “figuring himself out”.

So, giving him a team or friends wouldn’t be the best for him NOW. That’s why the answer to your question is no, I wouldn’t want to see him in a team right now.

But! If things were different and Jason had a solid characterization and his morals weren’t messed around with, I would actually like to see him have a group of people by his side. It would be something in between a team and friends.

And I have talked about this idea before, if Jason were to be a developed UtRH Jason I would love it if he actually created his own gang or group of people with people that used to work for Gotham’s baddies. Like him showing people that are working out of necessity with Black Mask that if they work with him, it will actually be better because he can offer protection against both Black Mask and Batman.

I believe that him can make Gotham’s people feel safe in a work environment because he is their boss. And as time goes by, he can become really close friends with the people that work with him.

I see Jason as an amazingly ruthless but also a kind boss that will always have your back if you are loyal to him. And the Jason that I like or that I believe should be in current comics isn’t a person that trusts easily, so working with other vigilantes would be hard for him.

Jason has very strong thoughts that can be very polarizing to people, so him connecting with other vigilantes might not be simple, but Gotham’s good people, that are trapped in bad situations, have been through a lot so I think that if they ever come across the Red Hood, they will like him because he can actually make a difference in Gotham.

So, friends or a team as he is written right now? No, first I would like to see how he is developed (or if he is developed at all) and then maybe.

Friends or a team for a Jason that will probably never exist? Yeah, if treated carefully.

Every character deserves to have their own set of friends or team but characters are also carefully written, and if a character doesn’t have a solid story to put them together then giving them friends or a team might complicate things because either you change the character that you are writing in order for them to fit in OR you might end up changing other character’s characterization to fit in with your character’s wobbly and ever-changing story.

Well, anon, there it is, a way too long answer for a simple question, I hope I didn’t confuse you with my rambling and that you have an amazing rest of the week!

[nemuitoka]

What are your favorte jshk fanfics? also where do you like reading them the most?

Hi Anon!!! today is the day I can finally answer this question😈 ahaha you know how much I enjoy making fic recs so 👀 Let’s go!!!

To answer your second question first, I like reading them on AO3 the most! Mostly because I get almost unlimited number of characters to rant in the comment section........... 😆but also the tagging system is very helpful.

Okay, now to the fun part of this ask😏

You said JSHK, but I mostly read Hananene ones so all of my favs include that pairing... as  I already did a fic rec here of my favs, this list will continue that one, so please check that one first hehe ((I apologize in advance..., I would love for people to recommend me some mitsukou ones tbh... I’m really lost when it comes to other pairings orz)) 

If I’m completely honest with you anon-san, my favorite JSHK fic right now is the one Roxanne ( @istoleyourboat )  wrote based of my art and her snippet:

Star-Crossed and Falling- Where Stars Go to Die by lilaflo

Hanako is Princess Nene’s personal knight 👀. A tale of forbidden love. They slowly fall in love as they exchange a series of gifts, one that includes a pair of matching earrings that remind them of their love when they’re apart. Also, jelly Hanako of Nene’s suitors😏... Oh, but nothing lasts forever and those sweet moments will come to an end when they have to face their cruel reality, in this world, they don’t get to choose neither their battles or the ones they love.

Now more of Roxanne, because I seriously enjoy her work so much (I’m sure everyone knows by now lmao sdkj) 

Night of the Phantom King by lilaflo 

This one is a spooky one. Nene’s regret for never realizing who she truly loves takes her to mourn her deceased friend Amane and cry on his grave in a Halloween night, then suddenly the Phantom King comes to take her away👀 & he looks suspiciously familiar... Beautiful world building btw, also the ending is just, excellent. 

12 Year Romance by lilaflo

Amane meets Nene at the Tanabata festival, she’s older than him, but he falls for her instantly, fast forward, Amane is now in middle school, he’s a troublemaker, & gets constantly into fights, but he swears the new school nurse looks familiar... he then realizes it’s her and thinks it must be fate!!!... This one hits close to home bc I’ve been in this situation irl, so I can confirm all of Nene’s struggles are real (and ofc how a love with an age gap should be handled the correct way, this fic really teaches you many life lessons hahaha) 

took a sip then another sip, then you turned and said to me by chivalrousamour 

This autor has a bunch of good JSHK fics!! I recommend you check their AO3 out, bec you may find something you like for sure! But, this is my absolute fav from them. Nene is a mangaka, celebrating the finishing of her long serialized manga, while Amane is a delivery boy who happens to find her in a very questionable state in her house👀 (it’s all family friendly ofc, anon, I’m not a slimy pervert like some ghost boy)

Maid for Each Other by corologs ( @corologs )

Courtney has this amazing College AU collection series that I encourage you to check out!!! But Maid for each other is my fav!!! So it’s the Yugi twins birthday, and it’s Tsukasa’s turn to choose where they go to celebrate it... you can already tell where this is going... (let the chaos begin) & as the title said, it involves maids!!! (it has Kaicho wa maid sama vibes if you liked that anime~~)

If I Could Tell Her by corologs

What if the picture perfect arc plan was successful??? Well, this fic explores this idea, and it’s very interesting to read. I like how Amane and Hanako are two separate people here.

the horizon tries but it’s just not as kind on the eyes by sincerelyand ( @sunlightinourheadlights ) 

(Oh my sweet Karen, she writes such good fics, so go check her AO3 out as well!!) Amane and Yashiro are friends that share an apartment (& they were roommates-- OMG they were roommates), even if Amane has its complains, because Nene can be a handful sometimes (and in denial of her true feelings as always, are we even surprised at this point?) he loves her dearly anyways😭.

for real, this time by sourlemoncandy  ( @sour-lemon-candy )

Did somebody say fake dating AU?????? Because hell yeah I did asajj I loved reading this so much!! Nene and Amane are childhood friends, and Nene overhears some girls talking about Amane and how one of them plans to ask him out... but she senses these girls are up to no good so she... well, you gotta read it to find out more~~ it’s no fun If I tell ya everything hehe... so go go go!!

lemon cream by sourlemoncandy

Amane and Nene, just two good friends having a road trip and sharing donuts... what could go wrong??  😏 seriously, I loved this fic so much!! Instant fav! Also makes me wanna try some good sweet donuts...

Trip Down Memory Lane by insipidenvy ( @insipidenvy )

This fic is so sweet. I have such a huge attachment to it, because I read it when I really needed some fluff in my life hahaha. It’s sort of a collection of memories between Amane and Yashiro’s relationship over the years. So heartwarming... if you need the fluffs you’ll enjoy this very much!!

The Radish Princess and the Toilet Prince by insipidenvy

This is my favorite fic from insipidenvy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You know how I am a slut for Royalty AUs so that’s why!!!!! Also Toilet Prince!! hahahaha such a good nickname lmao. I love how they bond over their insecurities, it’s very relatable tbh. 

Between Wind and Water by WingSongHalo  ( @wingsonghalo )

My beautiful Wing always delivering the good Hananene content, as she should!! This fic is so fun to read!! I laughed so hard at Nene and Hanako being awkward with each other!!! So you know how Hanako is super clingy with Nene, he’s always touching & hugging her, but this time something weird happens and he’s so distant~~ Nene doesn’t want to admit it at first, but she misses his clingy ghost boy~~ you’ll have a good time reading this for sure!  

The Monster's Bride by Hammsters ( @uglierdaikon )

Have you heard about the myth of Cupid and Psyche? Well this fic rewrites it in a very Hananene way <3 hehe I loved it so much (as I’m a huge fan of mythology~) To sum it up, Nene is fated to marry a monster that lives in the mountains so she’s devastated... to her surprise, her husband is far from what she expected... she only had one rule to obey and well... we all know how reckless Nene is so... you go find out what happens next now!! hehehe

Morning Reflections by FalalalaLa  ( @miss-sternennacht )

So you’ve heard of Hanako watching Nene sleep, but what about Nene watching Amane sleep???!! this fic offers you this and so much more fluff <3 Also Nene remembering how they met and how their relationship evolved during the years, aww <3 

Cursed Coin by DaikonSenpai  ( @daikonsenpai )

There’s a school dance, Yashiro’s supposed to be dancing with Kou (since she can’t go with Hanako, which causes him to be jelly~~ and bitter), but she loses a coin Aoi gave her for good luck so she goes out and searches for it on the last place she saw it, the school fountain. Suddenly Hanako spots her, what’s she doing outside??? is she drunk or something?? what happens next you may find out when you read it~~~

Between Love and Hope by Baronesscmd (SweeterThanYourDarkestSin) ( @baronesscmd )

Oh to be Nene and get to sleep between the Yugi twins... God really has favorites uh... ISTG, this collection of fics is so cute. I love how Nene loves the twins so much in this AU, they have their little cute family. She ofc is in love with Amane, but their relationship with Tsukasa is so tender... it’s mostly this trio having fluffy moments together to heal your soul... if you need some, you’ll get it here for sure hahaha. 

Ghost of You (And All the Futures We've Forgotten) by Indigo_Floof  milkteamoon  ( @indigosienna , @spades-queen )

So anon you may have been wondering, well this bitch likes fluff only???? how about some angst for a change, uh? DAMN, OKAY THEN, here you have some angst to rip your soul out and wish you never sent me this ask in the 1st place, bec of the emotional damage this fic will leave you sdajjsa, also if you liked “Erased”, you’ll love this fic too! 

Hanako of the Opera by zxrstan

Finally, but not less important, me being annoying about Hanako of the Opera & POTO AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!!! This fic is based of the AU Aidairo created mostly, it’s really fun to read if you didn’t get much of what was happening during the Hanako of the Opera event, it has a nice ending also! very satisfying I must say. 

AAAAND THIS IS THE END OF MY ALL TIME FAV LIST OMG;;;; Kudos for me for searching through all my damn AO3 and Google Chrome history (from both my PC and phone, since I am a FOOL and forgot my AO3 password so I read a lot of these in the past as a guest before recovering my password LMAO, please be patient with me omg, and also if you see me bookmarking them now, you know why 😭) 

Kudos to all of my writer homies as well, I love and appreciate all of you so much!! you have no idea! 💖

I hope you find this list useful, anon!! Thank you for sending me this ask and have a wonderful day! 

Ps. Please everyone feel free to add more fics to this list if you want! this is all my personal picks, but I’m aware there are a lot more fics that I haven’t read and deserve as much recognition as the ones I listed!

[tsukidrama]

Hello hello! Pink anon here, I really need to get better at answering faster. I guess it feels more like a letter now? If you celebrate Easter/Passover/Ramadan, I hope you had a good weekend! If not, I say the same! I say this a lot, but I was very busy. I'm officially on spring break now, so I plan on answering much faster. Thank you for being so patient!

I noticed you have requests open, specifically for TRNT related Annie content, and I'd like to submit something! I live by the ocean and it's been really gorgeous lately, and whenever I look at it I imagine a beach date with Annie and the reader. Maybe Annie finally gets to let loose, build a sand castle, play in the water. Just something fluffy, maybe they could have a picnic. I've also thought a proposal fic would be cute in the TRNT universe, whatever works for you! Just some ideas I thought would be nice.

oh don't worry about that! it happens and life gets busy. i'm happy to hear from you as always though! i guess we do easter in my family but it wasn't much. i've been keeping it lowkey lately and trying to improve my mental health, etc, trying to become the best tsuki i can be.

aahh yes these are all good ideas for sure! and they all mesh well with the themes of the story -- once again also ideas I've had for the story i love how we are on the same wavelength about the soft annie dates.

✅ beach date request accepted!!! YES QUEEN ✅ already was planning a picnic at some point, agreed it's a very cute and fitting cottagecore idea! ✅ OHHHHH YEAH I MEAN,, I HAVE THOUGHTS ON PROPOSAL/WEDDING BUT I'M NOT GONNA POST THEM ON MAIN BECAUSE SPOILERS AND STUFF. AA. (BUT IF YOU ARE EVER BRAVE ENOUGH TO DM ME I WILL ABSOLUTELY TELL YOU WHATEVER YOU WANT ABOUT THE ANY FIC JUST SAYING)

> "Annie hasn't even hit rock bottom yet." I am very worried for her! I just want to make her some soup and cuddle up on the couch, that's it. She deserves it. Papa can have some too, he's trying his best. <

> I don't know if I've talked about "Please be... My alibi" yet, to be honest I have a terrible memory. However, I really enjoyed it, it is probably one of my favorites, despite the terrible pain. The ending hit very hard for me, the fact that Annie couldn't say "I love you," but she could write it down. I don't know if that counts as a trope, as I've only seen it a few times, but nonetheless I love it so much. I am truly, very satisfied with how that chapter went, and I'm very much looking forward to the finale. <

ghgjgkgh yeah.. honestly she really needs some cuddles and soup. poor thing has really been going through it lately. i'm in kind of a rut right now - normally writing TRNT clears my skin and waters my crops but this sad chapter (9) is killing me. and the thing that sucks about being the writer is that I'm sitting here rolling on the floor crying by myself bc i don't wanna spoil, and by the time i post the chapter I'll have gone through the 5 stages of grief already. TRNT IS HARD TO PROCESS ALONE 💔

YOU HAVEN'T YET SO I'VE VERY HAPPY TO HEAR A LIL REVIEW FROM YOU, THANK YOU DEAREST 💕 I LOVE YOUUU ugh... poor baby. she's so repressed that i don't think she could ever bring herself to say it out loud pre-crystal. part of the PAAAAAINN is the fact that in please be, it's meant to be a little questionable if the note is just a lie that gets reader to keep quiet. some of the thoughts that you're left with at the end about doubting Annie are intentionally there to make y'all doubt. sorry sorry sorry she loves us sooo so much in reality but i've got to give reader the emotional damage she's got by the time TRNT rolls around. SORRY!

> I agree with what you wrote about SNK being deeper than what a lot of people understand about it. You really have to consider the fact that characters don't just "do" things, they were written to do things, by someone that has their own motives and reasons. In order to really understand it, you have to dig deep. I especially agree with that "challenge as a writer" statement, having a canon like SNK really adds to the experience of writing for these characters. <

ohhh hell yes, pink anon coming up here being all philosophical and shit! this is what i like to see. i know that everybody likes to say that they know their faves better than the creator but when it comes to snk.... i tend to believe the stans. the interpretations of people who care about the characters are sooo much better whatever bullshit the loud ignorant masses like to spout on twitter or reddit or whatever crap the ending offers.

yes! completely agreed. writing for snk canon is unparalleled and so when people choose NOT to write in it,, i'm kinda just like. why? canon is so fun, maybe it's intimidating though. that's WHY it's fun! i know you get it!

> Calling Part 3 the "mother of all angst" doesn't exactly comfort me, but I feel like I'm prepared! I have my tissues and my notes app open, just in case I feel so sad I have to write some fluff. <

> On a slightly angstier note, I'd like to say that the song "Harbor" by Clairo, really reminds me of Annie and the reader in TRNT, though I hope they get a better ending than whoever the song is about. The whole album's aesthetic really fits the whole "Cottage-canon" in my opinion. <

yyyeyeeaaaaaahhhh it's going to be quite bad. unfortunately it'll probably still take me a while to write, at least another month or so. but an attempt is being made!! i think about it all the time.

awww man, that is really sad. i do see what you mean! the vibe of the song does really fit the vibe of TRNT, minus the unrequited love of course. everybody cares SO much there's just miscommunication at first. i know i'm writing slow as fuck but TRNT is going to get a lot happier in the overall story

> Happy spring, <

Pink Anon

> (P.S. Recently I've been watching this show called "The Wilds" in my free time, when I'm taking a break from school and writing, and I feel like you would really enjoy it. There are a lot of conflicted characters, and I'm really liking it so far. Just a recommendation!) <

happy spring! sorry that this took me a while to respond to, I've just been kind of overwhelmed and distracted. it's always so good to hear from you. i hope you're doing well 💕💕

ohhh i've seen that advertised! mars works a lot this week and i'm looking for new things to watch so i may take it up! you do know how i like my conflicted characters

[random-mha-thoughts]

Weirdos (LoV x Reader)

Pairing: LoV x Reader, platonic relationship

Shigaraki, Twice, Dabi, toga, Kurogiri x Reader

I’m combining two anon requests I got for this one (they were kinda similar and I have a lot of requests to go through):  “LOV x young reader (fem or genderfluid). reader just wants to be loved. Toga's like a big sister, Dabi's a big brother, Shigaraki is that one gay cousin and Kurogiri is the father figure (hey no stOp that). Shenanigans ensue” and “Hello love! I just read sleepless with the LOV gang and I was wondering if you could do a platonic LOV x teenage reader where she gets hurt in an attack from the heroes and what their reaction would be. If you’d like to add her quirk maybe something about controlling plant life? Thanks love”

Tags: @wwwwyamd​  @yuki-osaki​ @liviitehe​ @iamsoftsodonttoucheume-blog​ 

Genre: Crack I guess

Word Count: 1,260

a/n: Ugghhh this took me a long time and I’m still not that happy with it...  I’ve been slowly losing steam, it’s probably bc of finals coming up and my grades and yeah...  Still!  I hope this crackity type thing makes you guys smile.  This is kiiind of a sequel to Sleepless? It happens in the same continuity/universe/timeline, think of it that way.

Also!  I have a few more requests and more originals from myself, but I have exams this week, so I possibly won’t be posting until after Wednesday, unless I decide to write that Bakugou hc request I just got to tide you guys over.

I didn’t use it very much, but gender neutral they/them pronouns here!

As soon as I stepped into the kitchen, all their eyes were on me.  Their silence is exactly what I expected, and I wanted nothing more than to disappear.  I try tilting my hat down so they can't see my face as I place the plastic bag on the table.  "Sorry I'm late, here's food. I'm gonna wash up-"

A hand comes down on my head and I gulp.

"What happened to your face?"

Dabi's voice lowering a whole octave and a half is the scariest thing in the world, change my mind.  "N-Nothing..."

"That's also not the jacket you left with earlier," Twice adds across from me.

Damnit, when did they get so perceptive?  I haven't been staying here for too long, I didn't think they would care about me other than when I go get their food and run other errands for them.

"(Y/n)," Kurogiri crosses his arms over his chest.  "Take the jacket and the hat off.  Now."

I can't refuse them when they're all piercing me with their murderous gazes like that.  They've been nice enough to keep me here, but they're still villains, I can't say they don't scare me in the slightest.  I'm deathly afraid of what might happen if they see what happened to me.  I slowly remove my jacket first, revealing a few scrapes and bruises on my arms.  When I'm met with silence, I remove my hat too, scrunching my eyes closed and preparing for the worst.

"What. Happened?"

I flinch at Dabi's harsh question, not having the courage to look up and look him in the eyes.

"Answer me, kid."

I pick at a scratch on my palms.  "I-I got caught up in an attack w-with the heroes.  I got a little-"

"A little what?!" Twice slams a hand down on the table and I jolt.  "Your face has a giant sore!  What hit you?!"

"Or who?" Dabi asks, hands clenched as his arms cross over his chest.

I back away, defensive about the whole situation.  "It wasn't on purpose.  They hit the ground and something went flying at my face-"

"You could've gotten hurt worse than that!" Dabi booms at me, stepping forward.  "Why didn't you block it in time?"

I feel myself getting smaller and smaller.  "I was running, and I heard someone screaming behind me, and I wasn't paying attention, that's all."

"Aw Dabi, you don't have to be so harsh," Toga wraps an arm around my quivering shoulders.  "You're being scary again, tone it down a notch."

"Yeah, stupid, you're going too OP on the yelling, no one wants to hear your mouth," Shigaraki pipes up, seemingly unbothered by the whole thing ad choosing to focus all his attention on his handheld console.

Dabi whirls onto him.  "What'd you say, Crusty?  How about you say it with your chest?"

Shigaraki stands up and gets in his face.  "I wonder what burnt chicken ashes tastes like-"

"Enough, you two!" Kurogiri booms out.  "There are more pressing matters than your pointless bickering."

"Yeah, our poor birdie (Y/n) got hurt," Toga rubs my face.  I wince when her finger brushes over the sore spot, but I don't want to push her away for fear she might do something to me.  "That's gonna leave a huge bruise for a few weeks."

"I'm gonna destroy whichever hero it was who caused it," Dabi returns back to me.  "Who was it?  Endeavor?  Best Jeanist?  One of those UA kids?"

"I don't know.  I didn't see them clearly," I squeak.  He's really gonna kill me now.

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DIDN'T SEE IT?"  Blue flames emerge from his palms.

"Hey, hey, take it down a few notches."  Twice wraps an arm around Dabi's shoulder and pats his arm.  "No need to act all tough."

"I'm sorry I got hurt, I'll be more careful next time."  The tears build up behind my eyes, but I try to hold them back.  I don't want to see what happens if I cry in front of them.

"Aw, look what you did," Twice exasperatedly motions to my bowed head.  "This is what happens when you're a tsundere hiding your feelings all the time."

"Come here, (Y/n)."  Kurogiri motions to the seat next to Shigaraki.  "Let me take care of your wounds."

"But," I blink back to clear my vision, "I deserved it, didn't I?"  Shouldn't I be in trouble now?

"Oh, shut up, stop being an emo," Toga pushes me toward the chair.

I end up seated at the bar, still constricting myself inward.  I'm not comfortable with anything going on, not to mention how perplexed I am.

Shigaraki spares a sideways glance at me before mashing at his buttons nonchalantly.  "That's one hell of a bruise, you're gonna look worse than me for a while."

I can't judge from his tone if he's insulting me, or trying to make a joke, or failing miserably at comforting me.

Kurogiri places a first aid kit on the counter.  "I'll do your face first."  He pulls out a few cotton swabs and a bottle solution.

Twice leans his arm on the counter on my other side.  "What's with that face, (Y/n)?  You look worried."

I pause for a moment before I look down at my feet.  "I'm waiting for you guys to do something to me."

The entire room freezes again and goes silent, sending me into another heart-racing mini panic.

Twice is the first to break the silence.  Even the soft hand he places on my shoulder makes me jumpy.  "I don't know how things were before you met us, or if that's the kind of impression we give," he shoots a look at Dabi, who just crosses his arms and looks away, "But that's not how we do things.  It was an honest mistake, how could you have known that would happen?  We're just concerned about if something bad happened to you."

I perk up at his words.  "You mean, I'm not just your lackey running your errands?  I'm not just an annoying kid you found on the street?"

"You make it sound like you're a stray cat or something," Shigaraki comments.  "Though, you are quiet and require a moderate amount of attention..."

"Of course you're not just a lackey, silly!  You're one of us!"  Toga's sweater pawed hands envelop my torso in a hug.  "Dabi's just being a meanie because he doesn't know how to show affection.  He should still apologize though."

"Yes, Dabi!" Twice adds with a flourish, "Apologize to my poor child!"  He grabs my head and forcefully pushes it into his hard chest.

Dabi sighs heavily, rubbing the back of his neck as the two stare at him expectantly.  "I shouldn't've yelled at you, kid.  I didn't know you'd be scared like that."

"It's fine."  It's weird being smothered by a group of housemates who might as well be strangers, but it blooms warmth into me somehow.

"Alright, you get first bite of the grub."  Twice eagerly opens up the bags of food and rips open one of the containers and disposable chopsticks to feed me.

Kurogiri gently blots at my face with his first aid supplies.  "Toga, stop wiggling, you're moving (Y/n)!"

Her grip around my waist doesn't loosen at all, her face snuggling into my back.  "Ey, Twice, it's no fair you get to feed (Y/n) first, I wanna do it!"

It's at this moment when I feel like Dabi and Shigaraki are the most normal ones out of all of them, until they start bickering over a container of noodles and start destroying things so Kurogiri needs to reprimand them again.  Even so, among all the prodding, squeezing, pulling, bickering, and smothering, I wonder if this is what family is supposed to feel like.

A secret smile only I can see quirks at my lips.  Nah, they're just weirdos.

[anchoviesinthenightsky]

Okay real talk for a sec, loving the little mermaid au. Honestly anything I see of fandom Luca just…isn’t fun, they just flanderized him, he ends up not knowing anything and is empty headed. Idk I can’t explain it, but I’m just loving these Luca aus cause he actually feels like Luca.

First of all, thank you. I'm so glad you're enjoying the aus. I have so much fun talking with people about them. I feel like a lot of the credit goes to the anons, who come up with such interesting ideas, and who have so much passion and enthusiasm and joy for those ideas. And I'm so grateful that get to respond to that with my own thoughts.

In terms of the rest of what you mentioned, I have to say that I haven't actually noticed that from the blogs I follow. But I definitely think Luca definitely suffers from main character syndrome, where it's very easy to overlook his character and insert whatever you feel like into him.

To some degree, that makes him a really flexible character to put into aus, and you can do a lot of different things with him. But that also means it's easy to make him kind of bland.

And to be fair, sometimes Luca being empty headed can be really funny, right? Like, for a joke or a head cannon! Even thinking about the movie, there's that one scene where Giulia and Alberto are fighting. and Luca is just like o_o and it's really funny!

I could also see how that could get frustrating if that's all you're seeing out of Luca (that could also mean you might need to follow some new blogs to get some more variety!)

Switching gears a little bit here, to talk more about writing and writing Luca specifically --

to be honest with you, from the writer perspective, I found Luca to be incredibly difficult character to write. I know he doesn't really seem that way, but I had a lot of conversations with friends while I was working on my longfic, where we just talked about Luca as a character for hours, and I did several rewatches of the film where I just sort of focused in on him. How he reacts to things, what he tends to talk about, his body language etc. And it just took a while to get his character down to a place that I liked

And I also want to acknowledge that like.. I'm an older fandom person, who's taken professional writing workshops and who has writing published. I've spent the better part of the last ten years studying and thinking about writing craft. And Luca was hard to figure out!! I can totally see how other writers could look at Luca and feel like he's kind of bland and just want to use him as an audience projection kind of character, because that was how I felt for a good while too. I was really resistant in trying to understand Luca, because I just wanted to focus in on Alberto, who has some very obvious and interesting conflicts to play with.

That said, I really love writing Luca now. I feel like he's a fun, complex character to write. And, in the off chance that another writer/ creator sees this post and have felt a similar frustration with writing Luca--

These are some things that I try to keep in mind while writing him:

- Luca is incredibly curious. And he's willing to put himself at risk to pursue his curiosity (think about his first trips to the surface!)

- he's willing to do a lot for his friends, including risking his life and safety for them. He does it when he grabs Alberto from the net, and he also does it when he goes back for Giulia.

- related to that, I also feel like he's someone who's more willing to stand up for his friends than to stand up for himself.

- he's kind of impulsive (going to the surface, deciding to race alone)

- he's got a complicated relationship with his parents. They clearly love and care for him a lot, but sometimes go too far in trying to protect him. For Luca, he still loves them obviously. but I'm sure he deals with some trust issues, he might be slow to share important information with them, he might think about their reactions to something before he tells them, but also he enjoys spending time with them. their home is a place where he probably feels comfort/love/nostalgia for the most part. it's... complicated

- he experiences anxious thoughts. sometimes when I write him I give him an anxiety disorder (bc i have anxiety), but either way. Luca deals with thoughts that make him overly cautious and less confident. When I'm writing Luca, I'm also often thinking about what his inner monologue looks like. Where is he holding himself back? What incorrect assumptions has he made about others or himself? (In my fic one of those thoughts is "I don't deserve to prioritize my needs/ I can push aside my needs for others/ others needs are more important than my own." Even if I don't voice that thought out loud, you can see it in a lot of Luca's actions, like accepting to fake date two people at once even though both fake relationships put him in an awkward position)

- He gained confidence by the end of the movie, but that's likely something that fluctuates after the events of the movie

- He's someone caught between two worlds. That can cause of feeling of disconnect or like he doesn't truly belong anywhere.

Soooo yeah! I hope that list is a useful resource to some of you, and a decent answer to your ask. I know it was probably a longer response than you were expecting, but I have a lot of thoughts about Luca and writing and writing Luca lol. And I'm also really glad that you've been enjoying the aus! :)

[infinites-chaser]

are you still doing the librarian thing? Can I request hmmm#14 with Lucien please? Thank you and I love your writing!!!!

this. is SO LATE but anon I was planning one thing and then finals came and then the holidays and then Lucien’s theater date happened and I was inspired to do another thing bc Shakespeare and tragedies is my absolute JAM. this is rly just an excuse to draw parallels and analyze characters and themes from both mlqc and lear and there is so much talking. and it ended up. a little very pretentious but I'm not sorry I love shakespeare there is a Kiss tho :> and I think. that counts for SOmething

14 + Lucien/MC (Second Person POV bc it just felt more right)

‘Hear the words like it’s the first time you’ve heard them.’- If We Were Villains, M. L. Rio.

lowkey spoilers for Lucien’s Theater Date, which you can read a translation of here <3 but rly the main thing I’m absolutely capitalizing on is the fact MC/Lucien were hosts for a production of King Lear so really, spoilers for King Lear long story short it’s arguably shakespeare’s biggest tragedy Everyone is Sad and Dies awiofjklsds

“It’s interesting, really.”

Lucien’s voice, as quiet as it is, is clearly audible to you over the scattered applause from where you both linger in the wings, waiting to re-emerge and close out the show. Onstage, the actors take their last bows amidst the cheers, their characters resurrected for one final moment of glory before the curtain falls.

You pause in your clapping to cast him a sidelong look.

“What is?”

“Why King Lear, of all plays?”

“For students to choose to perform, you mean?” You frown, suddenly thoughtful. “I guess you’re right, it is strange-- it’s not exactly a crowd-pleaser, not to mention it’d be hard to find a talented actor mature enough to play Lear, and be believable as an old man, too.”

“Their Lear did great, though,” you add on hastily, as the actor steps forward into the spotlight and sweeps into a deep, dramatic bow, fake beard clutched in one hand, Lear’s crown in the other. “I didn’t expect that from a twenty-year-old at all!”

“You think so?”

“Mm. I just--” you break off. Take a breath. Try to rearrange your thoughts.

"I guess I'm a little biased,” you say. “I like Lear. A lot."

Around Lucien, it’s not often that you feel you can keep up with his seemingly endless knowledge and his quick wit, but you’d read Lear in high school English class, and the teacher had made you all go over the lines with a fine-toothed comb.

You’d wrung the meaning out of each carefully-phrased soliloquy back then, and gotten full marks on the essay you’d written on it, on Cordelia and her sisters, and what it meant to be selfless, what it meant to love. But it hadn’t been until college that you’d understood it, understood Cordelia, felt every inch of her care for her father, her devotion to him, to her ideals, to honest, true love above all else.

You’d read Lear again, after one fateful night, one call from the hospital. The nurse’s I’m sorry. Your phone, falling from numb fingers.

The funeral.

You’d read Lear again in the dark, grey days that had followed, and it’d felt frustrating, it had all felt so futile, for Cordelia to love and love in her own way and not know how to properly express it, not until it was too late, not until the very end. (It had felt human, too human-- and you’d loved every word of it, despite the tragedy. You’d vowed to never be too late ever again.)

“Ah.” Lucien’s gentle interjection brings you back out of your thoughts.

Has he been waiting this whole time for me to continue? You wonder, your cheeks heating at the thought. You open her mouth, ready to apologize, but his next words cut you off.

“Your father,” he says, dark gaze unreadable. “That’s why you like Lear.”

You nod.

“I-- I like thinking I understand Cordelia,” you mumble.

“Do you think it should’ve turned out differently, then? Did she deserve her ending?”

“I don’t know,” you admit. “I just think... She and her father get to make up and maybe they finally understand one another, but then-- she just dies. For no reason.”

“Does death need a reason?”

There’s some dark undercurrent to his voice, a cold, lurking thing that nearly gives you pause, but you answer anyway.

“Maybe it doesn’t. Maybe it never really will ever make sense, no matter how much we think about it... What we could’ve done differently. What we did wrong. But I don’t think she had to die. Not her, or Lear, either.”

“So you think it should’ve ended differently. Happier?”

“No,” you start. You falter. “I don’t know, I guess. Not really.”

He shrugs. When he speaks again, his voice is warm again, tone light, teasing.

“Speak what you feel,” he quotes, “not what you ought to say.”

You huff. He smiles and waits. After a long moment, you finally reply.

“On one hand, it’s sad. There’s much death over a misunderstanding.”

“But?” He prompts. You swallow.

“But, maybe there’s more to it than just sadness. There’s some hope in the tragedy of it all. Or, at least, I like to think there is. After all, Cordelia and Lear-- they get their feelings across to each other, before the end.”

“Hope,” he murmurs. Then, more hesitant than you’ve ever heard him: “And what about Edmund?”

“The villain,” he says, half to himself, “Edmund.”

There’s a question hidden in his question, you know. There are parallels he’s trying to draw. You reach for his hand instinctively. He lets you take it, and you hope the warmth of your interlaced fingers takes the bite out of your next words.

“Edmund betrayed his kingdom,” you say, and Lucien’s hand stiffens under yours. “He betrayed his brother.“

“A traitor,” he agrees, detached and carefully calm. “A villain.”

“A villain on necessity,” you quote as response. Then, quieter, more gentle: “Yet Edmund was beloved.”

“Was he?”

You nod. His fingers tighten around yours, and he tugs you closer, deeper into the stage curtain’s shadows, ‘til there are bare inches between you and him. His eyes seek yours in the dim light.

“Is he still?” He asks, leaning in close, voice low. You know he’s asking about himself, not Edmund, he has been all along.

“He is,” you say. “He always will be.”

Your words are all the invitation he needs to close the remaining distance between his lips and yours. It’s a hungry kiss, almost desperate. as if at any moment he’s afraid this moment will end, but you loop your arms around his neck, deepen the kiss, draw him closer, memorize the feel of his mouth on yours, one hand gripping your waist, the other tracing down your back to the butterfly brooch, the nerves of your spine a wild flutter in his fingers’ wake.

He pauses at the small of your back, his hovering hand a silent question. You whisper a yes against his lips as answer. A smile ghosts over his lips. He kisses you even harder than before.

The butterfly falls.

[monkberries]

They dealt with all of the above. Ringo was treated as a joke for pretty much everything, especially since this was the era of prog rock. His personal life was also tabloid fodder. George was derided as being a dour spiritual nut who was out of touch. He along w/ Ringo didn't get the respect he deserved as a guitarist bc his style wasn't in at the time & people knew little about his role in The Beatles. All credit went to Lennon/McCartney. 1/2

John had the benefit of having the rebel genius image, but even he became a source of ridicule with all the stunts he pulled with Yoko and the way his career declined after Imagine. He wasn't deified to the degree he was in the 80s. I'm not trying to say Paul never had a hard time, but the way this fandom talks as if he is the only one who faced extreme criticism or disrespect just tells me they haven't looked much into the other Beatles' lives. The man is more admired than most musicians. 2/2

(IDK if this screenshotted anons were from the same person or not, but I’ll just answer them in this one since it’s all the same subject.)

Here’s what I think is valid, as I see it: Paul fans are upset by the way his music was treated by the music press, especially in the first few years of the 70s, while the music of the other three were generally given at least the benefit of the doubt. They’re not upset about the tabloid gossip, the purely personal stuff – they are upset, specifically and with good reason, at the way Paul’s music was treated and the way the music world’s personal dislike of him seeped into their music reviews. I’m gonna focus in on 1970 through the end of 1974, since this is where a lot of the complaints spawn from, and things start to shift in a big way in 74. You didn’t ask but contemporary writings about their early solo music is something I’m fascinated by anyway and you turned the wind-up toy key in my back, so. Off I go. This is gonna be so, so long.

At different points in the decade, all of them were subject to a sullying of their personal reputations. That is where I do agree with you: all of them were subjected to that by the press, to varying degrees, at varying times, and for various reasons for each of them. That is just what happens to public figures the longer they are public figures. Tabloids mess with everyone no matter how beloved they are. 

However, that’s not what I generally see Paul fans getting upset about. What I see is that they’re upset at the way the much more legitimate and widely respected music press approached Paul’s music and talent in general. It is widely received knowledge now that the critics treated Paul’s music differently than they did John’s and George’s and even Ringo’s; the trashing was not “equal.” They came at John and George with the assumption that their talent was real and ongoing outside of the Beatles, their genius unquestionable, their motives pure and well-intentioned and honest. Paul was not afforded these assumptions. Some examples to show what I mean, most of them found through wikipedia, rocksbackpages, or rollingstone.com.

John

Plastic Ono Band was Robert Christgau’s number one album of 1970 in The Village Voice. from Creem’s review: “John's record, of course, has been righteously raved over ever since its release, justifiably. It's interesting and even enlightening to see a man working out his trauma on black plastic but more than that, it's totally enthralling to see that Lennon has once again unified, to some degree, his life and his music into a truly whole statement.” From High Fidelity’s review: "a tremendously exciting listening experience, perhaps the best any Beatle has ever offered." In their Imagine review, Rolling Stone called POB “perfect.” A couple reviews in the mainstream were more mixed, put off a little by the rawness of it, but overall the rock world quickly grew to see this album as a work of genius.

Imagine was even more widely well-reviewed, despite a mixed review from Rolling Stone (John fell out with Jann Wenner around this time, curiously). Here’s a passage from rateyourmusic.com: “Imagine was actually one of the most critically acclaimed albums of the year, aside from this tepid review in Rolling Stone. Indeed, much of the rock press seemed palpably relieved that the former Beatle hadn't gone completely off the deep end. ‘It's the best album of the year, and for me it's the best album he's done, with anything, or with anyone, at any time,’ Roy Hollingworth wrote in the 10/9/71 issue of Melody Maker. ‘The album is superb,’ Alan Smith agreed in the 9/11/71 issue of NME. ‘Beautiful. One step away from the chill of his recent total self-revelation, and yet a giant leap towards commerciality without compromise...I have no criticism at all.’”

Some Time in New York City was admittedly John’s nadir, and the press was vicious about it, both personally and musically, deeming the album egotistical, lacking in energy, and devoid of sincerity. However, many maintained a reverence for the genius that came before it and hopeful encouragement for the future. Rolling Stone said that “The Lennons should be commended for their daring;” Creem said it wasn’t half bad; and even though NME’s article was scathing, it ended with a plea for John to return to form, saying, “Don't rely on cant and rigidity. Don't alienate. Stimulate. You know, like you used to.”

Mind Games, though reviews were mixed, fared far better in comparison. Again, there is a hopeful tone to the reviews, a sureness that John can do better. From Rolling Stone talks about the music being a return to POB form, but the writing is his worst yet; however, Landau qualifies this by saying the lyrics aren’t “offensive, per se, just misguided... [John Lennon’s admirers] might even be able to withstand something more challenging” and then praises John’s voice, his production, and a few individual songs. In Melody Maker, Ray Coleman says, “if you warm to the rasping voice of Lennon and, like me, regard him as the true fulcrum of much of what came from his old group, then like any new Lennon album, it will be enjoyable and even important.” Christgau is more middling but also says, “Still, the single works, and let's hope he keeps right on stepping.”

Walls and Bridges seems confusing to reviewers in retrospect. They couldn’t seem to come to a consensus on it. The musicianship was widely praised, for the most part, though Rolling Stone criticized the first side on this front; reviewers alternately said it was “the latest chapter in John Lennon’s Identity Crisis” (Creem) and “truly a superb album by any standards” (Melody Maker). Throughout the Rolling Stone review, the author is able to thoroughly critique the songs, for better or worse, with a neutral affect and without resorting to insulting John personally. He ends the review on a positive note: “When one accepts one’s childhood, one’s parenthood and the impermanence which lies between, one can begin to slog along. When John slogs, he makes progress.” Again, even though the reviews aren’t all positive, we can see, especially and most importantly in the most influential rock magazine of the time, the acknowledgment of his talent, a sense of excitement for what John will do next, and a belief that his work is authentic and honest.

George

All Things Must Pass, I mean. Apart from a couple of outliers like Christgau in The Village Voice (he called it “overblown fatuity”), it was incredibly, almost universally beloved by the music press when it came out. There was quite a bit of surprise that such a talent had been under everyone’s noses all this time, but I don’t think anon is quite correct that all the credit for the Beatles went to Lennon/McCartney. For example, Ben Gerson in Rolling Stone recognized George’s talent within the Beatles like this: “Up until now, George has been perhaps the premier studio musician among rock band guitarists. From the electronic whine which began “I Feel Fine” to the break in “Hard Day’s Night” to the crazed, sitar-influenced burst on “Taxman,” George exhibited an avant-garde imagination and a technical flawlessness, as well as the ability to stay within the bounds of a song, which has remained unparalleled.” In Melody Maker, the feeling of journalists was summed up thusly: hearing the album was “the rock equivalent of the shock felt by pre-war moviegoers when Garbo first opened her mouth in a talkie: Garbo talks! – Harrison is free!" The personal nature and honesty of the lyrics were praised as well; Time described it as an “expressive, classically executed personal statement.” Ben Gerson did call his proselytizing offensive, but in the next sentence says that George redeems himself from that with the personal plea in Hear Me Lord.

Concert for Bangla Desh - again, some cynicism from Christgau in The Village Voice (must have woke up on the wrong side of the bed that day) and of course tax issues dogged it later, but overall, for the rock press at the time, this was a crowning achievement that George pulled off. He was praised all over the press, countercultural and mainstream, for his live musical talent, the group of musicians that joined him, the lack of political motivation, the sincerity and goodwill, and George’s ability to bring back  "a brief incandescent revival of all that was best about the Sixties" (Rolling Stone). To this day he is credited with creating the model for future charity concerts. 

Living in the Material World - Nothing could have topped the one-two punch of ATMP and the Concert for Bangla Desh, but honestly, LITMW came pretty close for some journalists. Rolling Stone again praised George’s honesty and authenticity: “ Despite the occasional use of “psychedelic puns,” Harrison’s lyrics are so guileless they convey an extraordinary sincerity that transcends questions of craftsmanship. Similarly, the devotions we are called upon to share with Harrison, though they communicate no specific, private torment, do have the authenticity of overheard prayers and are therefore sacred.” Melody Maker said, "Harrison has always struck me before as simply a writer of very classy pop songs; now he stands as something more than an entertainer. Now he's being honest." The pushback against his pious attitude and lyrics picked up some steam with this album, particularly with Christgau (again) and Tony Tyler of NME, who called it “so damn holy I could scream.” However, it was far from the consensus opinion at the time, and with the biggest rock magazine in the world at your back, you can withstand quite a bit.

Dark Horse, oof. That poor man. It did get some positivity in Billboard and Melody Maker, but my god, the reviews for this album and its subsequent tour were so cruel. I suspect when these anon(s) talk about the others being treated terribly by the press as well, this, along with John’s STINYC, is one of the examples they would give, and they’re not wrong about that. This was the point where George’s piety and what they perceived as a sanctimonious attitude finally started really getting to everyone, and the album plus the tour was the perfect opportunity to dogpile on him. I guess it was to be expected; no one can ride that high forever, and the press loves to knock people over and kick them while they’re down. Rolling Stone called it “disastrous,” “shoddy,” and called his guitar work “rudimentary,” eventually declaring that George had “never been a great artist.” This from the same magazine that was practically worshipping at his feet the year before. Yowch.

Ringo

Sentimental Journey - The less that’s said about this album, the better.

Beaucoups of Blues was actually quite well-received. No one called him a genius for it, and it wasn’t a serious personal record and therefore wasn’t treated that way, but journalists seemed uniquely able to let themselves enjoy this record despite the serious/political/personal tone of most musicians at the time. Melody Maker believed Ringo had  "conviction and charm" and that because of that, the album stripped away the serious “hip posturing” and let you just enjoy the music on its own terms. The Village Voice said that Ringo was “good at making himself felt.” Although Rolling Stone’s tone was a bit more cruel than other magazines (there was a crack somewhere in there that Ringo wasn’t as smart as John), it also called him lovable and the record “a real winner” where the songs “sound terrific.”

Ringo was a total smash and I think people forget this. It’s remembered only because it’s an album that was worked on by all four Beatles, but actually, the critics fuckin loved it. Ringo was praised in Rolling Stone for his unpretentiousness, sensibility, and essentially collaborative nature: “Ringo was always the figure of conciliation within the Beatles, undoubtedly the most genial, conceivably the most sensible, and the one with the smallest musical axe to grind. His very lapses bespoke the esteem in which the others held him; had they not liked him so much, those perfectionists would never have allowed him to sing. Perhaps because as the drummer he stood outside the process of creation, he had the best perspective from which to see the Beatles as a unity. Ringo has never had any pretense of self-sufficiency. Once he had gotten his special projects out of the way (projects for which John, Paul and George's talents would have been unsuited anyway) Ringo was ready to call upon the three most obvious people to assist him with writing, singing and playing. As Starr's first "pop album," Ringo signifies a homecoming, not just of family, but in musical style as well.”

Goodnight Vienna was kind of a minor album for Ringo, but still, reviews were pretty good. Rolling Stone praised his “unalloyed sincerity which is his trademark and trump card.” Yet again, we see the theme of authenticity popping up in these reviews - if you are perceived as authentic, honest, and sincere, that takes you a long way with music reviewers in this time period, and Ringo was nothing if not wholly, completely himself.

Paul

McCartney - One of the main complaints of Paul fans is that Jann Wenner forced Langdon Winner, the author of the review for this album in Rolling Stone, to rewrite his article and put a more negative spin on it. The result is that Winner praised most of the music but totally undermined his own praise by questioning the authenticity of the tone and deriding the press release that came with the album as much as he praised the music. He ends the article like this: “I like McCartney very much. But I remember that the people of Troy also liked that wooden horse they wheeled through their gates until they discovered that it was hollow inside and full of hostile warriors.” This was a huge blow at a time when personal authenticity and substance were considered paramount. Melody Maker also questioned the legitimacy of his genius, saying “With this record, [McCartney's] debt to George Martin becomes increasingly clear.” Most other reviews weren’t any better.

Ram, I mean, Jesus Christ the reviews for this. It’s a widely respected album now, even made the RS top 500 albums of all time list last year, but at the time people were still so angry with Paul for supposedly breaking up the Beatles that they were still taking it out on his music a year later (imo). Landau in Rolling Stone called it “emotionally vacuous” and said it lacked conviction, saying also that it was “so incredibly inconsequential and so monumentally irrelevant you can’t even [hate it]; it is difficult to concentrate on, let alone dislike or even hate.” NME called it “the worst thing Paul McCartney has ever done.” Threaded through these reviews is a belief that the songs are devoid of meaning and that Paul’s happy domestic front is just a frustrating lie; Christgau in The Village Voice said he was “infuriated by the McCartneys' modern young-marrieds image” - infuriated because he clearly doesn’t believe it, rendering Paul dishonest and his music inauthentic. Once again journalists are unable to review Paul’s music without sniping about him as a person.

Wild Life - Though the situation remains largely the same - reviewers refuse to take him seriously, believe anything he says, or treat his musical talent as anything but vacuous fluff - the reviews aren’t quite as bad as they were for Ram and a bit of positivity begins to stir. It’s evident especially in the Rolling Stone review, where Mendelsohn wonders if Paul is making crappy fluff on purpose to piss John off because it will sell just as well anyway. It’s not much, and on top of the fairly strong criticism there is almost no hope for future Paul releases: “My own conviction is that we'd be foolish to expect anything much more earth-shaking than Wild Life out of McCartney for a good long while... In the meantime the reader is advised to either develop a fondness for vacuous but unpretentious pop music or look elsewhere for musical pleasure.” But it’s something.

Red Rose Speedway Paul continues to be lambasted by a lot of the press on this album for being lightweight and having no meaning behind his songs (at this point it’s just repetitive to quote the articles, just trust me that they say basically the same thing they were saying for the past three albums too), BUT I think a nuance that gets forgotten in all of this is that Rolling Stone gave it kind of a decent review. It seems like they finally quit gatekeeping and realized that songs don’t need to have some deep personal meaning to be good. Kaye is still not very nice about Paul’s lyrics but he recognizes that he doesn’t have to take Paul’s music on the same terms as he takes John and George. Paul’s music is less personal, but that doesn’t make it unworthy. He calls it “pleasant, accessible without concentration” and praises Paul’s voice and arranging skills. It feels like for this album, Rolling Stone took the stick out of its own ass when it came to Paul and finally relaxed enough to receive Paul’s music on his terms rather than theirs. Which, imo, primed the rock world for...

Band on the Run, Paul’s comeback. Even though Christgau in The Village Voice remained unconvinced (he called it “a pleasant piece of hackwork”), almost everyone else adored it. It seems weird to us now, but the general sentiment seemed to be that people were surprised by how good this album was. NME said, “The ex-Beatle least likely to re-establish his credibility and lead the field has pulled it off with a positive master-stroke”; and although Landau’s review in Rolling Stone overflowed with praise, he also said, “I'm surprised I like Band on the Run so much more than McCartney's other solo albums because, superficially, it doesn't seem so different from them.” 

I hope I’ve been able to demonstrate a general trajectory with the musical reputation of each Beatle here. John starts off on two incredible high points, crashes and burns, and then works his way back up. He DEFINITELY missed with STINYC, but even when he followed it up with Mind Games, there was still a hopeful tone to the reviews, sort of like, “Ah, well, the last two weren’t great but we’re still looking forward to what John will give us next.” Until the Dark Horse tour/album, which did sour the press on poor George, the music press adored him. It was hit after hit with him. He could not miss. Three high points, one after the other, then a monumental crash. Ringo seems to stay fairly high, even if the records aren’t serious records. All three of them start out incredibly well, and the music press was able and willing to give them the benefit of the doubt.

Paul was given none of that. Perhaps because he was out of step with the attitudes about music at the time, perhaps because journalists hated him for breaking up the Beatles, perhaps because they believed John when he painted Paul as “establishment,” perhaps a combination - whatever their issue was, Paul was given no benefit of the doubt to start with, no faith in his genius, and no belief in his authenticity. He was just a hack to the music press for the first few years of the 70s; he started at the bottom and was forced to work his way up, unlike the other three. It started, imo, when Wenner forced the journalist who wrote the McCartney review in RS to rewrite the article, and it spiraled from there. He was seen as hollow and uncool, as one of the anons said, “straight” in the parlance of the time - straight meaning “establishment.” This is kind of where I do start to roll my eyes a little bit at stans, when they get upset at people calling him “establishment” and trying to prove that actually he was so anti-establishment that people couldn’t handle it or whatever, without trying to understand what the word “anti-establishment” meant at the time. But there are also really substantive arguments you can make that say Paul’s music was not taken seriously because of a personal grudge against him.

I’m not saying that all of them didn’t have run-ins with the music press. I’m saying there is nuance here that I don’t think these anons are allowing for in the first few years of that decade. They came at George and John and Ringo with a positive, or at least neutral, slant most of the time. They came at Paul with a negative one. Case in point are the reviews of Band on the Run that were surprised at how good it was. That stuff gets people’s hackles up. The others didn’t have positive reviews rewritten to be more negative. The others didn’t have albums savaged that are now on the Rolling Stone top 500 albums of all time list. I do agree that John, at least, and George post Dark Horse, had a harder time with the music press than people generally remember or care to think about – deification is retroactive, I guess, and as Paul fans we should definitely recognize that Paul wasn’t the only one who went through a rough time with the press. But I do think Paul’s situation was made uniquely and unjustifiably difficult for those first few years.

I mean, at the same time, I cannot stress enough how much this did not affect his bottom line. Despite the horrible reviews, Ram still made a ton of money, McCartney made a ton of money, Band on the Run and Wild Life and Red Rose Speedway all made a ton of money. He had a fanbase, a huge one, that followed him loyally and faithfully through the early 70s as he was getting savaged by the press, and through the middle and late 70s when he was touring. At some point, you have to step back and go, wait. Why does any of this matter? This was 50 years ago. He was a multi-millionaire then and is a billionaire now. And you are right; whenever people over-generalize and try to make the case that Paul was always badly reviewed and the others were press darlings, I tend to get annoyed because they’re totally missing the actually interesting nuances of the situation (that can be easily found online! I found most of the music reviews through snippets on Wikipedia!) In conclusion, I guess my point is that both “Paul was vilified while everyone else wasn’t” and “everyone was equally vilified” paint the events of the early 70s with brushes that are too broad and miss the nuance that was evident in the way the press interacted with their music.

[aerltarg]

2, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 26, 27 from ask game

2. Are there any popular fandom OTPs you only BroTP?

oh, it's actually hard to answer bc pretty often my otps can work as brotps for me as well. it also means that when i can't ship some characters they don't work for me as friends either. not to mention that in asoiaf i'm open to many ships, and if i'm not very passionate about some it's not a sign i can't see them in romantic light.

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

may i say any sansa ship? 😭 as well as sansa herself lmao. idk generally i can't ship characters i don't like because i'm just not interested. and it's not to say i don't like book!sansa (show!sansa is another case 💀), i just don't find her arc as intriguing and epic as arcs of some other characters. however, it's absolutely her obnoxious fandom's fault that i don't want to touch anything about her now, pairings including. sansaery? pass. sansan? i used to have a soft spot for them in my heart but now? nah. sansa x anyone? pls have mercy, she's already a fandom bicycle.

and jonsa ofc. i would never mind some crack ship as i do this one if not for their obnoxious stans that did way too much to list there right now. but this burning desire to persuade every rock on the street that your crack ship is canon will never stop being ridiculous lmao

also braime. tbh i used to low-key like them but some of their stans weirded my away lol. i get that not all of them are like that but still. it's generally my great pain when i see braime/brienne/jaime stans who are also dany/targ antis. every time i see them i cackle and run away as fast as i can crying from disappointment lmao. it's really a pity because i'm either very neutral or like in my own way all three of them.

6. Has fandom ever made you enjoy a pairing you previously hated?

jonrya it is! i never hated them, you know, but they never were more than siblings and brotp to me. however, later i encountered the deluded crack ship fandom that shall not be named and understood that if there is any possible romance for jon with any of his sisters-cousins we all know which one it will be lmao. also their stans are very sweet and i really like many of their takes on arya and jon! i generally love relationships of jon and arya very much so it wasn't that difficult in practice to see them in a quite different light.

7. Is there anything you used to like but can't stand now?

meta culture lmao. reading different analysis and interpretations of the text used to be very interesting to me (and still is tbh but in other fandoms) though asoiaf is a different case. imo many people aren't honest in their so called theories and analyses. i get that all of us are biased but some "meta writers'" denial of their own biases influence fandom in a bad way. it looks like too many people run to them to get answers to their questions about any minor detail as if they were grrm himself. yk instead of using their own reading comprehension lmao. you see how this meta culture ruined fandom just looking at the most delusional stans and shippers who spread their agenda by writing endless text posts full of nonsense and bullshit but styled as oh so intellectual and thoughtful analysis. it's insane how many people actually buy it and don't check canon accuracy of such claims themselves. it got to the ridiculous point when random people try to argue with you with some far-fetched embarrassing "theories" as if they were canon facts or quotes straight up from a fanfic because they read somewhere some other confused soul's post and got from a context that this quote is canon (despite the fact that it wasn't written in grrm's style at all but some people can't use their brains even if their lives depended on it it seems).

anyway it's become too long and rambly already so tldr. because of such "neutral unbiased" analyses i got the habit of fact checking almost everything i see in such posts. there's only a small amount of meta writers from targ/dany/jon/arya stans that i trust because i know by practice and following them for some time that they don't pull anything out of nowhere, back up everything they say with canon quotes, don't decontextualize anything and (that is the most important thing to me) are reasonable and open to discussion unlike so many bnfs nowadays.

8. Have you received anon hate? What about?

ah, not in this fandom yet, god bless! i think i'm not loud enough for the needed amount of time to deserve it lol. but since i'm not going anywhere soon maybe one day i will 😂

9. Most disliked character(s)? Why?

robert baratheon and tywin lannister, obviously. tbh it's pretty hard for me to hate any characters because you know. they're fictional lmao. just lines on paper, they can't hurt you. and even such dudes as tywin or robert don't get real distaste from me if they're written well enough. my problem with them lies not only in their canon crimes and shitty consequences of those but in fandom's (or at least some parts of it) unwillingness to acknowledge that they're canonically written as shitty, not as stan/pity/worship material. tywin isn't as clever as some think and robert is a coward outside of battlefield, not to mention some absolutely disgusting denial of his nature from targ antis only because the man happened to be the most vocal targ hater in-universe so these folks feel like he is their main book representative and whitewash him completely lmao

10. Most disliked arc? Why?

uugh idk even. i'm either low-key interested (or used to be at least so i can stay pretty neutral for the sake of nostalgia lol) or too indifferent to really care.

11. Is there an unpopular character you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

all my faves have their own crowd of haters i'm afraid 😭 but let me say rhaegar. even among some dany/targ stans my man is so misunderstood lmao. it's not even his fault i dare say it's fanon about his half-imagined crimes that somehow got widespread to the unbelievable degree. and when i say they're half-imagined i'm being very generous actually. ofc he isn't perfect, no one in asoiaf is. and yes, he's a pre-series dead minor character but almost all little information about him is actually positive, not to mention the narrative itself that doesn't paint him as a villain or just a shitty dude. on the contrary, he's an idealized to some degree dead prince who could've been a good king (like some other historical targaryens, jacaerys, baelor breakspear, aemon son of jaehaerys, etc.), a mysterious yet tragic figure. i have much to say about why it's so popular to shit on him in fandom but yeah. his haters should send their complaints to grrm instead, no one forced the man to write him like that lol. and i mean that no one has to like him ofc. but it's misinterpretation of the text to claim he was intentionally written as a villain or smth by grrm.

12. Is there an unpopular arc that you like that the fandom doesn't? Why?

i don't know if it counts as unpopular but i would say tyrion's arc as a whole because i enjoy his character and like in my own way. i can get why some people don't like him but this man will always have his own place in my heart i must admit.

13. Unpopular opinion about XXX character?

is this unpopular tho?.. ok but renly wouldn't make a terrible king. i dare say he would be better than both robert and stannis. yes, he wasn't shown as perfect and i don't claim this. he wouldn't be the best or the most brilliant or the most just or noble. yet still better than his brothers. his flaws weren't anything other high lords didn't have, his mistakes weren't anything other lords and kings didn't do. in many ways he would make a better job than robert or stannis, too bad he died so early, even though i get why it was important for the narrative.

26. Most shippable character?

well generally for me it's the ones i love the most lol. jonerys/snowstorm is my never dying otp but i admit my sins, sometimes i just see dany with other characters (often from other fandoms pls don't @ me). however, since dany is THE fave of mine it means i would rather twist the other guy or girl to fit into the good match for her than twist her for another character in my new born crack ship lol. and i never stay for too long with the ships with which i feel they don't really fit and don't do justice for each other lol. maybe that's the reason i'm not much of a rare shipper / crack shipper afshdjdb

27. Least shippable character?

everyone i don't like? 😭 as i've said sansa for the reasons above lol. you can insert many others in her place lmao

[mental-health-advice]

Hello Pauline! I am the anon who you answered on 22/01 struggling with dating again after a toxic experience. I am so sorry I only saw your reply today, I don’t follow the blog bc it’s quite triggering to see everyone’s experiences.

I am trying journaling but to be honest I’ve genuinely forgot most of the things that happened in that bad relationship - I mainly remember he would get upset I wouldn’t want to go on dates with him (bc I felt anxious) and lash out at me due to his own anger issues. I also remember feeling very unworthy and ugly and awkward although he tried his best to give me compliments and make me feel deserving. The main thing that really set my anxiety was the fact that the first time he kissed me I wasn’t expecting it at all and sort of felt like I didn’t have the chance to give him consent - after that, I basically ran away from every chance he could get to be intimate with me, which made him even angrier.

After I sent that ask I cut out my ex from my life for good (we still talked even after the breakup) and, most importantly, I found out my family has a history of trauma. My mom got postpartum depression after she had me, and my dad grew up in an abusive household; they don’t have a healthy relationship at all, argue a lot and never discuss their feelings. This all has led me to realise I have a lot of thoughts that could be associated to a disorganised attachment style (anxious-avoidant). I feel like I understand myself more now. I am trying to do some inner child work and understand the way I feel about dating is probably influenced by how poorly I was treated as a kid. However, something else that happened is my best friend getting her first boyfriend: I now feel rushed, like I am so behind on everything and should stop isolating from the world and actually try dating someone as well, but I’m so scared to get hurt. Do you have any advice for self-esteem and inner child work? Again, thank you so much for listening.

Hey lovely,

No worries that it took you a while to see my reply! I’m glad you saw it eventually and I hope it was helpful. I’ve linked your ask, just so that it’s easier for me to find if I ever need to in the future.

Journalling doesn’t always have to be about specific bad memories from that relationship. It can be about your current dating experiences and how it’s making you feel. By journalling about that, you are discovering the connections with your previous experience. Or it can be about regular daily life and your feelings and thoughts regarding that. It doesn’t have to be about your most traumatic experiences in order for it to be helpful.

What you do remember from the relationship does sound very difficult to deal with! I can imagine that it’s had its effect on you. So know that your feelings are super valid! When you’re dealing with anxiety and someone else is dealing with anger issues, these two can make each other so much worse. You get anxious because of his anger issues, he gets angry because you're feeling anxious, it’s a vicious cycle!

Well done to you for cutting your ex out of your life! That is honestly such a brave step and I am so proud of you!! And it sounds like you’ve made some big realisations, which is amazing as well! It’s hard to figure these things out and to realise that they’ve had an effect on you. But you did that!

What I think is important to realise is that everybody does things at their own pace. The fact that your best friend is getting her first boyfriend, does not mean that you should be having a boyfriend. It’s okay if it takes you longer! I’m 26 and I’ve never had a relationship even! I don’t think you’re behind at all, I think you’re going at the pace that suits you and what matters most is that you feel comfortable with that pace.

I once did a group therapy on self image and I can share what we had to do there. I found that it was actually really helpful, but you do need to stick to it. I didn’t stick to it and now I’ve noticed that my self image has gotten worse again, so I know I need to pick it back up. Basically what you do, is you get a new notebook and that is going to be your ‘whitebook’ (this is a literal translation of what we call it in Dutch, I don’t think there’s a proper English word for it). In this whitebook you’re going to do two things:

At the front, you’re going to write down daily positive things. You can start easy, by just listing positive things in general. Then you make it harder by writing down positive things that have something to do with you. Something you said, did, thought, anything. You start small, by only writing down a few things and then you gradually increase the amount that you’re writing down every single day.

In the back, you’re going to keep a list with positive characteristics of yourself. These characteristics are derived from the daily positive things you’ve written down. So each day, you’ll look at them and ask yourself; what positive characteristics do I recognise here? Usually, multiple characteristics can be found in one positive daily thing! It can also be about how you’re able to do something. I remember that I once wrote down as a positive daily thing that I had taken a bath (which I like doing), so the therapist of the group suggested that I wrote down ‘is able to perform self-care’. I didn’t feel like it’d fit on my list, because I’m usually not very good at it, but eventually I wrote it down, because I /am/ able to! Not always, but there are times where I am. The idea is that you read over this list with positive characteristics often. This really enforced the idea in your head that you have positive characteristics and therefore builds up your self image.

For inner child work I’d recommend imagining that you’re talking to your younger self. We often have days where we’re really hard on ourselves and our head is filled with negative self talk. So imagine this, your younger self is sitting on a chair. And you are telling your younger self all that negative talk. That doesn’t feel right, doesn’t it? What would you say to your younger self instead? I bet you’d be a lot kinder!

And it isn’t only about how you talk to yourself, it’s also about listening to your needs. I know that I tend to completely go past my own needs, because I feel like it’s not important. So take a step back and think ‘if I were a child, would I treat myself like this?’ Would you go on and on, or would you take a nap, have a snack, have some play time, etc. In our hearts we are all children and we deserve to be treated with that same love. We have a bit more responsibilities than children do, but that also means that we need relaxation time as a break from those responsibilities.

I hope that this all makes sense and that this helps you! Let me know if there’s anything else I can help with. Take care!

Sometimes what seems impossible, is just hard. Love Pauline