#but this is the first time i ever talk to any of my crushes properly | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

aayakashii · 1 month

Text

How would they react if you received a confession from some random student?

Warning: yandere behavior, possessiveness, A LOT of manipulation etc etc you know the drill

Gasp! You received a confession! A human student fell for you and confessed that they have had a huge crush on you ever since they saw you in the admission ceremony. They even invited you on a date! You're so excited! But... wait... how will your ghouls react to that...?

Fuji Kaito

Absolutely distraught.

He knew you first! He was supposed to be your first option!

He doesn't try to hide how desperately jealous he is.

Bombards you with self-deprecating messages that do more harm than good because it gets super annoying after a while.

Stops eating properly and pays even less attention to class, which makes him take even more remedial classes.

Asks you for your help immediately. He's so insistent on you tutoring him, that you end up saying yes just so he'll stop whining.

He happily creates a schedule that eats up most of your time, so you can only see him every single day. After all, he has such a hard time learning! You gotta help him a lot 🥺 and no, Luca isn't an option.

It's almost like he planned this... but nah, that's Kaito we're talking about. He wouldn't do this, right

Right?

Lucas Errant

He doesn't really understand what he's feeling at the moment

At first, he has a positive reaction – after all, you're an amazing person! It's only obvious you'd have admirers.

But then he finds himself thinking more and more about it.

Is that person capable of protecting you? Do they possess any type of skill in combat so they can fend off anomalies? Will they pay attention to your needs? Will they hold your hand when they walk you home? Will they actually walk you home when it's late??????

He starts worrying more and more about your safety until he can't brush off his concerns any longer.

He will not approve of this relationship. He's pretty sure that person isn't capable of providing you with all you need and deserve.

At least not like he can. He knows he can protect you. So... stay with him instead, will you?

Ishibashi Tohma

Hm... Really. So you have a little admirer. How cute.

Tohma couldn't be more obvious with the disdain and contempt towards the person who confessed to you.

He always manages to spot you wherever you are, just to steal you away and drag you with him to do something 'important'.

"Why yes, you must come with me to pick up this order of tea leaves I have put on. Of course I can't do this alone, you have to learn the ropes of my work since you're my dear helper."

You better not be thinking about going on dates. Tohma will ruin all your plans by summoning you to his side as soon as you step out of your dorm.

He will control your time and your schedule until you forget entirely about that silly little person who tried to take you away from him.

And when you hear the first whispers of awful rumors about that person, Tohma already has his hands on you, permanently dragging you away from them and their terrible influence.

As if he wasn't the one that spurred the gossip in Frostheim from the very beginning.

Kamurai Jin

No. Just no.

Don't even think about it.

You just aren't allowed any distractions from your work for him. You're his servant.

Actually, sratch that. You're his, period.

The fact that someone would be so bold to try and take you away from him is unbelievable.

And you're CONSIDERING their confession? Are you insane? What do they have to offer you? How can you even begin to think of them as more important than him?

You're crazy if you think he'll just let you go and date some peasant.

Jin WILL bribe the person who confessed to you to make them go away in a heartbeat.

He's convinced that everyone will fold when they're faced with money. Everyone but himself, because he already has it all.

All except you, apparently.

Jin will offer them a life changing amount of money just to keep them away from you.

Don't worry, he'll be right there to see your little heartbroken face when you're walk back to him after all that.

He'll take his sweet time picking up your pieces and putting you back together.

Mido Alan

Alan stuffs his hands inside his pockets and scowls as soon as you let him know about someone confessing to you.

Oh, he despises that idea.

At first, he wonders whether it is because he might see you as a little sibling or... some other platonic thing... that activates his protective instinct.

But then he sees you crack a little smile as you talk about actually going on dates, and the jealousy he feels is simply undeniable.

Alan may be stoic, but he's very well acquainted with his ugliest feelings.

And this jealousy is simply the most hideous thing.

Do you know that person? Do you think they truly care about you? No. They don't. At least not like him.

Alan doesn't say all that openly, but he hangs around you for longer and longer, like a guard dog. Arms crossed and scowling, ready to pounce at anyone crazy enough to invade his space.

And obviously, you're in his space. You're the only one allowed in it. The only one he wants attached at his hip.

He eventually wins by wearing down his competition. After all, no one is brave enough to poke this lion with a short stick.

You're just not worth them risking their lives like that...

Don't worry, Alan is right by your side to pet your little head and comfort you.

He'll always be by your side.

Haizono Sho

Well, look at you. Being popular and shit. Gotta be feeling good, huh?

Kinda upsetting that the one who likes you is a loser that definitely doesn't deserve you.

Who said that.

Sho immediately bans you from eating at his food truck.

If you're gonna play these dumb games, then he has his own cards to play, too.

Even if you have zero intention of making him jealous and genuinely just want to go on a cute date, he WILL see it as a challenge.

He would rather get hit by a car than see you taking some random ass dude to HIS food truck to eat HIS food during a date. You're supposed to eat his food only if you go on dates with HIM.

He's gonna make you choose between him and your stupid new guy as soon as you tell him about the confession.

Are you going to abandon him? Are you really going to choose some dude instead of a friend? Someone who needs your support and ideas? Someone who ACTUALLY cares about you and didn't just randomly appear out of nowhere?

There is a correct answer for his ultimatum, and you better choose wisely.

Kurosagi Leo

???????????

Some people do have awful taste, huh.

Cannot fathom why someone would ever fall for you.

You're plain and boring, just a stupid NPC. That person must be just as boring as you, if not worse.

He makes sure to tell you all of this so you know your place.

But then you decide to give that person a chance and begin to ignore his messages.

How fucking dare you answer him only in the end of the day. You're supposed to be at his beck and call. You're supposed to be by his side whenever he needs you, like a good NPC.

He gets antsy. He's bouncing his legs, biting his nails and feeling his stomach flip flop inside him.

Okay he GETS it. You can stop trying to make him jealous now, god. You're so fucking desperate for his attention, aren't you?

Just... answer his fucking texts for once, okay?

Otherwise, he's gonna have to handle that rando that's been glued to your side on his own terms, and you don't want that.

Don't make him do something both of you will regret <3

Sagara Haru

Of course someone would fall for you! Who wouldn't?

You're so sweet, strong, patient, helpful, comforting, and you always do your best to spend time with him so he feels less overworked and...

Oh.

If you have a s/o, this means you won't be able to help him and spend time by his side, huh...

...

That is a problem.

Haru needs your company. He needs to know your whereabouts and what you're doing. You won't leave him hanging behind on his own, right?

He knows that you care for the animals and you wouldn't abandon them, but what about him?

Will you really leave him behind?

Haru is busy with everything in Jabberwock, so it's not like he can neglect his job to follow you around, but... Maybe he can keep an eye on you through his little gps.

Whenever he sees you out and about, he'll shoot you the cutest, most heartwrenching message about how he the animals miss you.

It never fails.

After all, you're so sweet. He knows exactly how to tug on your heartstrings until you run back to him.

Otonashi Towa

No.

You're not going to date anyone.

Towa loves romance, yes, but only if it doesn't involve you with someone else.

You're his Dandelion! You're his. You're not going to leave him, ever. Why are you even thinking about someone else? You're so silly, Dandelion.

Towa doesn't try to be subtle. He will threaten the other person and kick them out of your life immediately.

If he needs to strike them down with a dozen lightnings, he will do it. Do not doubt him whatsoever.

Don't be sad, though. If you wanted to go on dates, you should have just said so!

He will take you to every pretty place he finds in Darkwick – cave systems, flower fields, dense woods, and anywhere else you feel like going!

As long as you go with him.

He's not letting anyone steal you from him, ever.

Shiranami Ren

Whines and whines and whines and whines.

He becomes actually insufferable.

"You're actually going to become one of those disgusting people that flaunt their relationship everywhere, aren't you?"

"Ren, I don't even know if I'll accept the date..."

You don't get it, though. He thought you were different. He thought you weren't like everyone else! But you got A CONFESSION?

EUGH

That's like the most normie thing in the whole world...

And who's gonna watch B-horror movies with him now? Who's gonna play his mobile games and do his dailies with him?

You're gonna be just like those assholes that forget their friends when they start dating, aren't you?

He knew you were just too good to be true. That's on him, though. He was stupid to believe you would stick around.

Wait, no, please don't go. Please don't get mad at him.

He just doesn't want you to spend your time with someone else... but also, he would rather die than straight up tell you that.

Maybe read between the lines of all his whiny ass messages and forget about that other guy, how about it? It's almost time for a raid anyway.

Hoshibami Taiga

Oh honey. I don't know why you think you can even leave Taiga's side for long enough to receive a whole confession.

Although, if someone is crazy enough to mess with TAIGA'S little kitten, they are very brave.

Taiga may let them shoot their shot just to amuse himself and see how the dumbass would try to woo you.

But if they got even a little bit closer, his gun would fire immediately.

It would either end in someone getting terribly traumatized and/or wounded, or in death.

Getting away is just not an option if you're Taiga's.

You're always in his reach. No reason to think about silly little scenarios like "receiving a confession".

Pffft. Don't be stupid.

Romeo Lucci

Are you fucking insane? Shut up and go fetch him a face mask.

Of course he's not letting you date anyone. You're his assistant. You dont have time for shit like that.

What do you mean you don't need permission? Oh that's RICH.

Romeo isn't very patient about this whole situation.

If you try to argue too much, he just pushes you into his secret room and then inside one of his cages until you understand your place.

He's never letting you just walk away and spend your precious time with some broke asshole. Your time is HIS. YOU are his. Don't get any funny ideas.

It doesn't matter if you get mad at him. He will keep you locked up until you're sweet and compliant again. Just the way you're supposed to be.

And if that doesn't work quickly enough, he can always order his men around and beat whoever tries to get too close to you.

No one fucking steals from Romeo. Much less what is the most valuable to him.

Shinjo Ritsu

Ritsu is incredibly confused once you bring up going on dates with someone who confessed to you.

Did you forget you are legally binded to him by the terms of your partnership?

You have no time to go on dates. During working hours you have to be fulfilling your part of the contract right beside him.

It's not his fault that there's so much work to do that you end up needing to work overtime...

Yes, he IS very against unpaid overtime, obviously.

But it's not like you're not getting anything from this! You'll have the best lawyer in Japan always ready to help you.

But you'll only have this rare privilege if you stop being foolish and forget about dating that silly student.

You have to focus. Focus on your partnership.

Focus on him.

Focus on Ritsu alone.

Kusanagi Haku

Oh, so you hesitate to accept his invitations, but you're quick to go on a date with some other random person?

Ouch. Yikes.

Immediately lets you know that the person a very nasty spirit posessing them.

But you'd be a bit silly if you believed what he says because Haku is going to blatantly lie.

If that's what it takes to keep you far from anyone trying to get their hands on you, you BET Haku will try to manipulate you.

"Exorcising them? Nah, can't do it. Too strong of a spirit, you know? Better just keep your distance ;)"

He's honestly shameless. Doesn't stop following you around for a second and always manages to barge into every conversation you have with a general student, even if it's not even the person who confessed to you.

Can't be too careful, you know? After all, you're so sweet, what if more people fall for you?

He hates competition, so it's best to just cull everyone that gets too close to you. Makes things a lot easier for him.

And you know, since you're so eager to go out on a date with someone, why don't you choose him for once?

It's not like he'll ever let you have another option besides himself after all.

Kagami Subaru

Oh, he's guilt tripping you right away. All those years of acting are SHOWING.

Have you watched a kabuki play? There are some SAD ones, you know.

And you best believe Subaru is going to look like you've just ripped his heart apart as soon as you tell him about the confession.

You're the only actual friend he has besides Lyca... Do you really want to leave him in the dust like that? All for some dates? He really thought he mattered more to you than that...

It doesn't matter how much you try to reassure him you won't abandon him, he'll only stop being gloomy once you tell him word for word that you are not going to date anyone else.

And as soon as you do that, it'll be like clouds letting the sun shine again. He'll smile and cling to you like a magnet, gently feeding you the softest daifuku.

All while subtly touching you and checking your memories for the face of whoever dared to confess to you.

His good relationship with Darkwick will definitely come in handy to keep them far away from you.

Kotodama Zenji

He is having such a hard time with this!

He is more than happy to know you're appreciated! You are such a wonderful person! His lovely little human!

However... he can't help but feel awful about it all too. What if you stop talking to him?

After all, besides you, only Haku and Subaru see him. He knows you wouldn't be able to talk to him if you had someone unrelated right next to you. Much less someone who isn't even a ghoul!

His late night visits become more frequent. He stands at the foot of your bed, looking at your sleeping figure, very conflicted.

Is he allowed to be a little selfish, even though he's a spirit?

Soon enough, you stop hearing from the person who confessed to you. It's not that big of a deal, but you ARE curious as to why they up and vanished.

You'll never know how they suddenly got prophetic nightmares about how they shouldn't date you, complete with some bloodied messages on their wall...

Mizuki Rui

He's absolutely distraught. Not only he cannot touch you, now he must be tortured by the sight of you touching someone else?

Even worse: someone else touching YOU?

His days just keep on getting worse.

Will you still please visit him at his bar then? You won't completely starve him of your company, right?

Maybe he should just touch this crush of yours.

Haha, just kidding! He wouldn't do that.

He will, however, hide in the darkness for as much as he needs until he's sure that he approves of that date of yours.

Spoiler: he will never approve of anyone that isn't him.

Rui will bombard you with messages until you understand that his jealousy will never subside unless you reject that person once and for all.

And maybe, for some peace, you should. Because Rui is nothing if not insistent.

From the corner of your eyes, you see the way he lurks in the shadows of every place you visit.

Give yourself a break and mend the shinigami's heart for once, please?

Edward Hart

Oh dear. Who's going to take care of him now 😔

You're heartless, you know. Wasting your finite human time with a pointless date, instead of helping an old man when he needs you... You wound him so...

Ed is the king of emotional blackmail. He will moan and groan on and on about how weak and alone he is (even though Rui does everything for him) and how cruel you are for not spending your days in his room, tending to all his whims.

It doesn't matter if Rui can help him with this malware-riddled website. He wants YOU to help him. His plain but pretty little thing.

Didn't you learn you must respect your elders, love?

Then go lay down on his bed with him, thread your fingers through his hair, and shush him when he's tired and in pain. You're his walking balm, dear.

Don't leave him hanging. That would be so rude of you.

Lyca Colt

No no no no no no no no

NO!!!!!!!!!

You're not gonna date anyone!! You're not going to hang out with anyone else, ever!!!

Lyca is another one that's not subtle.

He'll just cling to you 24/7 and growl at the person who confessed to you until they run away.

He'll NEVER let you spend a single minute longer with some boring human. You have to spend time with him and teach him more about... well, about everything! You're his caretaker, aren't you?

The fact that he used to protest every time someone called you his babysitter does not matter anymore!

He is going to stay by your side and chase everyone away. How dare they try to do those disgusting things with HIS human!

It's overwhelming how clingy and possessive he gets – even more than before.

Lyca won't let you breathe peacefully. He'll be clinging to your arm, your hand, your neck, your shoulders, anywhere he can grab just to show everyone that you belong WITH HIM ALONE.

It's best if you just accept it. They do say it's hard to teach older dogs how to behave, don't they...

Isami Yuri

He didn't expect much from you, but to waste your time with meaningless endeavors... Disappointing!

You better never sleep then! Because he's not letting you off the hook! You're still spending more than half of your day in Mortkranken, under HIS watchful eye!

And if he sees you texting some random guy, well. He'll just have to snatch your phone away from you.

How dare you think of anything else besides your apprenticeship under him?! Him, Isami Yuri, the best doctor in Darkwick. You're so ungrateful!

Yuri will wring you dry. He's so merciless, it'll be honestly best if you just focus on him...

He wants your full attention and focus. If you go on... *retches* dates... your mind won't be into your work.

Stop this insanity, worm, and pay attention to him. Pay attention and praise him. Don't go praising some random, worthless person. They don't deserve it.

But Yuri does. Yuri deserves your praise.

Praise him.

Please.

And forget all about anyone else.

Kirisaki Jiro

Hm... will going on dates affect your health positively? Your mental health, maybe? Huh.

Jiro doesn't really understand what he feels about you spending time with someone else.

What he does know is that he likes having you around, as much as he can process how "liking something" feels.

He likes how you take care of him after he showers and how you worry about him, no matter how many times he tells you it's pointless. He likes your reactions and how you try to be helpful. He likes you.

If you spending time with someone else means he won't have you doing all this anymore, or at least not as much as he'd like, he can't say he approves it.

Jiro straight up tells you he doesn't want you to go on dates and why.

It'd be wise to listen to him. Otherwise, he'll try to get his fix of you by following you around.

Not sure you'd want the tallest and strongest man in Darkwick following you around like a shadow... but you do you.

498 notes · View notes

dreaming-tonite · 2 months

Text

The Necessity of Old-School Dating

— A relationship should start with flowers and a proper confession.

A/N: I just finished x-men 97 and my crush on Kurt when I was like 15 came back in full force. Like, you cannot tell me this man would not go to lengths trying to charm you.

Pairing: Kurt Wagner x reader

Warning: (1) German pet name in the feminine form that hopefully will not ruin this for any German speakers

Word count: ~1.5k

When Kurt Wagner was in love with you, the entire world would know.

He had a lot of love to give, knocking people off their feet (quite literally) when he made his sudden appearances and tackled his friends with full-body hugs. But with you, he was always more careful. While he made no hesitation in finding his way to you in a puff of purple smoke the second he saw you, he always landed just a step away from you.

He grinned ear to ear, glowing eyes curled into thin moons just at the sight of you. His body leaned towards you slightly, aching to be close to you but restraining himself until you reached out for him first. The heat radiating off his body tempted you to close your eyes and allow your mind to sink into his embrace when he immediately pulled you in after getting the go-ahead.

“It is good to see you.” His voice was soft in your ear, the vibrations from his chest seeping into your skin.

He made sure to tell you that every time, even though he must be aware that you already knew how often he told you that. But to him, it was important that you hear it from him.

Kurt never pulls away until you do and the lingering of his touch on your back when he does always leaves your skin tingling.

A true gentleman but with a trickster’s spirit nonetheless. Your back bumped into his anticipating tail, respectfully curved around your form. You gasped when it presented you with a bunch of flowers that he seemingly pulled out of nowhere, the end of his tail holding at the stems.

“Oh, you really shouldn’t have,” you sheepishly said, “today is not even anything special!”

“I like that they make you happy,” he mused, his gaze so soft that it made your face burn, “is that not enough of a reason?”

“They make me very happy,” you smiled and took the bouquet, his tail gently recoiling from behind you to sit neatly against its owner. You pressed the flowers against your chest, the faint scent of petals tucking at your senses, “Thank you, Kurt.”

You did not remember a moment when your room was void of flowers since the very first time he ever gave you any (in fact, you did not even have a vase before that and now it was reserved specifically for flowers he brought you). Some days it was a properly wrapped bouquet, some times it seemed he just saw a daisy on his way and plucked it when he thought of you.

It was a fluttering feeling to be treated special, to have someone show you that you were always on their mind. As much as it was a sweet gesture, it sure was a smart one too. Flowers sitting at the corner of your room reminded you of him whenever your gaze flickered towards them, and it brought a smile to your face whether you intended to or not.

("That brother of mine sure got you smitten for him, doesn't he?"

The sugar-sweet voice broke you out of your trance and you subconsciously stopped toying with the daffodil you had been twirling between your fingers. "I have no idea what you are talking about," you quipped, avoiding Anna-Marie's amused stare.

"Why, is that so?" she crossed her arms in front of her chest in fake thoughtfulness before it broke into a smirk, "Then care to explain what is so special about some little flower that it got you smiling like a fool?"

Your eyes went wide, the smile on your face that you weren't even aware was there dropping in an instant as the realisation hit you in full force.

"Sugar," she said, a loop-sided grin tucked at the corner of her lips, "I know the look of someone in love when I see one.")

They said that if their heart was in the right place then you would never doubt, and he made sure that his intentions were clear from the very moment you caught his eye.

He remembered things you said in passing, asked you to go out for dinners and subtly took note of items your eyes lingered on when you passed by store windows even before there was a proper label to your connection.

Kurt always managed to find excuses to take the long route when he walked with you back to the school. Sure, he could, and usually would, skip the unnecessary process of walking. But the minutes that were saved would be a waste of precious time he could spend with you.

The world was quiet and all was good in these rare moments when you were alone, talking about nothing and everything and all that fell between. He fell a little bit more in love every time you laughed as if his heart was not already threatening to burst out of his chest. He preened in moments like this, standing a little taller and a little closer to you until your shoulders nearly bumped with each slow stride.

And if the knuckle of your fingers happened to brush against his, then he would allow himself to be a bit bold under the disguise of the starry sky to hold your hand.

Kurt was a true believer in the importance of proper courting, putting in the effort and letting the effort be felt. But as much as he enjoyed the tip-toeing and the words that were left unsaid, there came moments when the passion was too much to bear.

It was a night much like any other. You had thought that things were going well, there was laughter and he was being his usual charming self until the two of you started heading back. Under the silver moonlight, he was... quiet. Your gaze flickered towards him in concern but seemingly, he was too deep in his thoughts to notice.

So instead of speaking, you reached for his hand and his walls came crumbling down.

"I wanted to take things slow so that you could consider if my affections, my— my love is worthy for you." He blurted out, accent thicker than usual in a moment of vulnerability. "But recently, I have been plagued by my own selfishness, that the more you have allowed me in your life, the more I crave to have you all to myself."

"Ah, entschuldige, I am rambling," he muttered under his breath, his voice trembling and guiding your hand so that he faced you properly. You reached out to hold his face and he leaned into the touch, sighing in content at the contact and all the more certain that close could never be close enough when it came to you.

"I like to think that any relationship, any romance, should start with flowers and a proper confession, and you deserve nothing less." he paused, his hand reaching up to hold yours firmly. "My heart is in your hands, mein liebe."

Time stopped, and all was still.

The thudding of your heart was the only thing in your ear as he waited for your answer with bated breath.

The first touch was so light he could barely feel it. Your body reacted before your mind could keep up and at the first brush of your cupid's bow against his lips, perhaps the bravest thing you had ever done even though you had been on literal battlefields, your reason immediately got ahold of the better of you. But before you could start to pull away, doubt and logic melted into a puddle when he crashed into you, strong arms holding you firmly as he returned the kiss with one much deeper than the one before.

He kissed you again, and again, getting light-headed when you pressed your palm flat against his chest and kissed him back every single time.

You gasped when you suddenly felt the ground disappearing from under your feet, purple smoke blurring your vision and your feet stumbling when gravity weighted you down once more. Kurt didn't seem to notice it at all, too drunk in having your body flushed against his.

Bamf, bamf, bamf. You nearly stumbled when you landed one last time, his hand finding its way to hold you by the small of your back before you could fall.

He was out of breath and if you could see under the blue fur of his cheeks you were sure he must be blushing like mad. Still heaving, he pressed his forehead against yours.

"Forgive me, I lost control of myself," he closed his eyes, the tip of his nose touching yours, "you have no idea how happy you make me."

Wrapping your arms around his neck, you decided that a proper confession deserved a proper answer.

"I love you," you said, "it would be a blessing to call you mine."

He chuckled before leaning in once more, this time soft and tender.

"And me, yours."

#can you tell that I love a dramatic romcom/regency-esque confession scene #let's bring back being dramatic fools in love #kurt wagner x reader #nightcrawler x reader #x men x reader #x-men 97 x reader #kurt wagner imagine #nightcrawler imagine

847 notes · View notes

avocado-writing · 6 months

Note

Hello! Might I ask for the lovely bg3 guys hearing tav say they're love them in the middle of an argument please? Take your time!

Astarion

Who knows what you're arguing about. It could be something sincere (his ascention) or something inane (he took your soap without asking, again) but it still slips out all the same:

"You're lucky I love you, or I'd be really angry."

The two of you stop and stare at each other for a moment, before you let out a strangled little sound and exit the conversation.

Astarion is baffled. He wasn't expecting that. Except, he sort of was? He's been trying to get you to fall for him after all, so why does it feel so... nice to hear you say it? And why does he feel so guilty?

The two of you move on like nothing's happened for a while, the tension bubbling between the two of you, until eventually he can't take it any more.

The two of you are on watch one night and he blurts out, "I love you too."

You stare at him for a long moment, he's never felt smaller. "Are you being serious?" "Yes. I am."

You look so relieved. He brings you into his arms and the two of you stay embraced for the rest of the night.

Gale

It's like you're arguing about the bomb inside him.

He's arguing it's the best solution to your problems, you're telling him that he needs to care about himself more. You're getting so frustrated that tears are starting to sting hot in your eyes.

"I wish you loved yourself like I love you, Gale."

Ah, you didn't mean to let that slip out. The two of you let the quiet sink in. You go to move away, his silence crushing, but he reaches out to grab you - not hard, but enough so that you stay.

"You love me?"

Tears come, inevitably.

"Of course I love you, Gale, you utter fool."

You can see he wants to argue about that but for once just takes the insult, pulling you into his arms so tightly you feel like he'll keep you there forever. Yes, he is a fool for not seeing it earlier.

"I love you too. You are the most precious thing in my life. I'm sorry for worrying you... and you're right, of course. You're always right."

You sleep in his arms that evening, and the Netherese Orb is never mentioned again.

Wyll

Oh, Wyll. Why would you be arguing with this sweet, kind man?

Maybe you're begging him to try and get out of his contract with Mizora, take back hold of his own life again. He's arguing about duty, what he owes to Baldur's Gate.

"I wish you'd think for once about what you owe to me, Wyll. To yourself! I love you!"

His mouth falls open, he's flabbergasted. When you try and escape he doesn't let you, following you into the forest where you run, calling your name.

Eventually you slow down enough for him to catch you and bring you in for a sweet kiss, then press his forehead against yours.

"I love you too. Of course I love you. I hate that I ever made you feel anything less than my absolute priority. You are always the first in my heart."

The two of you sit down and have a long, healthy conversation about talking things out as a couple. Making decisions together. At the end of if you come out stronger, united as a team.

Halsin

Halsin is probably the most laid-back on this list, it's hard to think of something you'd really argue about.

It comes down to this: you aren't taking care of yourself enough. Not eating properly, sleeping properly, sharing your burdens. You are trying to shoulder it all.

He keeps telling you that you need to be kinder to yourself - you keep snapping that he isn't in charge, he doesn't know what it's like. He tells you he cares about you too much to see you in pain.

You're angry at first - who is he to tell you what to do - and then you're just sad; burying your face in his chest.

"I love you too much to argue with you, Halsin," you whisper, and his heart melts.

"I love you too, my heart. Let me take care of you."

He cooks you dinner and makes sure you eat it all, draws you a bath and helps you wash. His fingers are magic. He lays down with you on your bedroll and lets his body warm yours, keeping you tight against him, only drifting off himself when he is sure you are sound asleep.

#gale of waterdeep x reader #Gale of waterdeep x tav #Astarion x reader #astarion x tav #halsin x reader #halsin x tav #wyll x tav #wyll x reader #wyll ravenguard x reader #my writing #Long post #bg3 imagine #gale x reader #gale x tav

719 notes · View notes

bigfootsboytoy · 1 year

Text

Part two of this story, where Robin discovers Steve’s type. A lot of people seemed interested in more, so here you go!

The conversation doesn’t go quite the way Robin is expecting it. She’s fully prepared for Steve to launch into saying how confused he is because he’s feeling weird pants feelings for Eddie, but how does that work because he likes girls? She’s been mentally preparing herself for that exact discussion since she watched Eddie Munson call her best friend ‘Big Boy’ in the middle of committing grand theft auto. So when Steve starts talking, curled up on the gross linoleum tile of Family Video, she’s taken by surprise. She doesn’t even get the chance to answer his question before he’s throwing her prepared speech out the metaphorical window.

“That’s stupid, you already told me that. Sharon Parker in the 5th grade, holding hands for Red Rover, blah blah blah, I know that. But like…Have you ever acted different around a girl, and then one day, you realize it’s because you like her? Like, you had a crush on a girl without even realizing it? Does that make any sense?”

It takes Robin a second to reboot, but the second she manages, Steve throws her even further off track.

“It’s just, Tommy H came by the other day, and he said some stuff that really has me thinking and-”

Robin can’t stop herself. As soon as she hears a name other than Eddie Munson, she has a hand out covering Steve’s mouth. He gives her a look, surprised and confused. Maybe a little annoyed. She valiantly ignores him because what he just said has her head spinning, and she needs to put a stop to it right now.

“Steve. My best friend in the whole universe. I’m here for whatever you need and whatever you might be figuring out about yourself. You know I’m going to support you 100% no matter what happens but…Please. PLEASE tell me that you didn’t just discover you have a crush on TOMMY H! He isn’t even your type, Steve! He isn’t even in the ballpark of your type! He’s so far off it’s honestly kind of laughable and-”

Now it’s Steve who puts a hand over her mouth.

“Jesus, Robin! First of all, gross. I’m not into Tommy, okay? Never gonna happen, not in a million years. And second, what the hell do you mean ‘my type?’ What the hell would you know about my type?”

Robin carefully removes his hand from her face and shakes her head. She has absolutely no clue where this conversation is going, but there’s still a chance it can work its way somewhere good. Somewhere Munson-related. And she owes it to Steve to listen to his crisis properly.

“Nevermind, forget that. What happened with Tommy?”

“Okay well, he came over, like I said. He was super wasted, and I guess he and Carol broke up? And he started talking about when we were friends, and how he always used to try and get closer to me. He said he almost asked me if I wanted to practice kissing once? And he talked about like, trying to touch me all the time, trying to make me laugh? Basically saying he had a crush on me, which was super weird.”

Robin nodded, because really, she had no idea what to say to that.

“And then he kissed me. Which was kind of gross because he tasted like whisky and he was being all sloppy, like he wanted to eat my face. But…”

“But?”

“It wasn’t as gross as I would have expected I guess.”

“I thought you said you didn’t like him!”

“I don’t! It just, wasn’t a totally horrible kiss okay? Only a little horrible.”

Robin sighed and let her head tip back against the wall.

“Okay, I’m not seeing your dilemma yet. Tommy liking you and kissing you is kind of weird sure, but it doesn’t change anything about you.”

Steve’s eyebrows furrowed, and he let out a puff of air. He looked small in this bathroom, scared in a way that Robin hated. They had faced down monsters, torture, long shifts with Keith. A conversation with his best friend should never have Steve looking that afraid, ever.

She reached out and took his hand in her, giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Hey, it’s okay Steve. Tell me what’s going on in that head.”

“It’s just…Some of what Tommy said. About how he tried to get closer to me, to touch me and make me laugh and shit? I guess I realized that I’m doing that stuff. With somebody else. And if Tommy did it because he liked me then…”

“You think it might mean you like this person. This…guy?”

“Yeah. This guy.”

There it was, the Eddie Munson of it all. Because Robin only knew of one guy that Steve spent his time with and would be trying to be touchy and close with. She had watched it happen with her own eyes, the way Steve would look for reasons to lean past Eddie, to put a hand on his shoulder, his back, once getting brave and putting a hand on his waist. She’d watched Eddie do the exact same things around Steve, too.

Part of her almost just comes out and tells Steve, that she knows who he’s talking about. Except he still looks unsure. He looks like he wants to throw up a little, and Robin has to fix that.

“You know it’s okay right? For you to like this guy?”

“I know. It’s just weird, to realize I might like him that way. Normally I can figure out when I’m into someone.”

“Well, normally you aren’t friends with the people you’re into first. That makes it confusing.”

“And I’m normally into people with boobies.”

“That too.”

Steve lets out a tiny laugh, and it makes Robin beam. Something about Steve is lighter now, like somethings been lifted off his chest, something that’s been there for a really long time without him knowing. She wants to tell him how much she’s loves him. How much she cares about him and supports him. She wants to tell him about all her research, and fully explain to him her findings when it comes to ‘his type.’

She wants to tell him that she knows the guy he likes is Eddie. That she thinks Eddie might like him too.

The ‘ring for service’ bell ruins her chance at saying any of it.

She and Steve both clamber off the floor, adjusting their vests before exiting the bathroom to greet whoever keeps ringing the stupid bell over and over again. Robin can’t decide if it’s the best luck in the world, or the worst, when it’s Eddie Munson himself standing at the counter.

She leans towards best luck when she sees the way Steve’s cheeks go red.

A few people asked to be tagged if I did a part 2, so hopefully I do that right! I’ve got a few more parts planned, so if anybody else wants to be tagged let me know and I’ll do my best!

@kaiscove @wolfstarlights @awkwardgravity1 @anonymousbandgirl @f1ct1onwh0re

#steve harrington #Robin Buckley #Platonic Stobin #Wingman Robin Buckley #Steddie #Eddie Munson #stranger things 4 #stranger things #steddie ficlet #stommy #one sided stommy #because I am a Tommy was in love with Steve Truther FIRST and a person never #Steve may have liked him once upon a time but that ship has sailed now

3K notes · View notes

kurogane2512 · 5 months

Note

Hello! I have a story idea but idk if it's thirst or not. I honestly don't know the difference between thirst and a normal fic ;-;

But here:

G!P Reader x Signora

Reader is one of the adopted children of Arlecchino. Signora visits the children with gifts from time to time and while others are afraid of her, reader is the only one seeking and looking forward to her visits. Reader would always tell her she loves her and wants to marry her in the future and Signora would laugh and just say yes thinking it was just child talk. Time skip to when the reader grows up and she starts actively pursuing Signora (Signora doesn't age and all so :3). Signora would act annoyed but on the inside she gets all flustered whenever the Reader flirts with her or gives her gifts. Signora eventually gives in and gives love another chance. Ultimately leading to a more intimate relationship.

Sorry if it's a long read. I got this idea because of that one Arlecchino voice line🕺

Idk if this is thirst worthy or not. Feel free to walk past this if it's not💙

Hii, it's okay anon I don't mind the request~

Ngl this would be.... questionable, to say the least, if it was any other situation. But as you said since Signora doesn't age, or is at least already way older than most mortals, it's honestly so sweet to think about. It's like a dream come true, imagine the random pretty lady you had a crush on in childhood and grew up to love 🥹

18+ CONTENT

Game: Genshin Impact

Characters: La Signora x g!p reader

Type: Fluff and smut

Long fic like really long, I honestly loved the scenario so I wanted to write it properly. Also note I haven't done Arlecchino's SQ so apologies if some stuff is inaccurate.

You were 10 years old when you first laid eyes on her, the most beautiful woman you had ever seen. She walked inside the mansion with her heels clinking, a big cape dragging behind her, long shining blonde hair that reached her hips with 2 rose buns tied above, a small butterfly clip on one side of her hair, a strange embroidered mask that covered her right eye and cheek, red lips and her free eye that scanned the surroundings.

You were spellbound as soon as she walked in, and so were the other children as they excitedly sprinted towards her to greet her. It wasn't every day you had such visitors; this woman gave an aura of authority and elegance as if you can't just say anything to her but the children clearly didn't catch that and were more excited to meet this new visitor. However, the woman's reaction caught everyone off guard.

"Do you teach them nothing, Knave? They don't even know the Harbingers they'll be assisting when they grow up, much less know the appropriate manners when in their presence." the woman harshly spoke with her eye squinted as she glared at each of the children in front of her, making them flinch in cowardice.

"....I know what and how to teach them plenty well, Fair Lady. You need not concern yourself with the affairs of the House." your 'Father' replied in a slightly annoyed tone.

"Hmph, such little brats will join Tsaritsa's Army? I better see them grow up to be capable Fatui soldiers, otherwise I'll take matters in my own hands once they come to me."

The woman declared then walked further inside and sat upon the sofa, draping one leg over the other with her arms crossed over her chest. The children stared at her in silence and hesitated to say anything then she looked at them again and spoke.

"Well? Am I not even going to be shown some basic hospitality?"

Your 'Father' sighed then instructed some of the children to bring over tea and snacks as prepared earlier. All this time, you were hiding behind a corner and silently observing the commotion but dared not get closer. Your 'Father' noticed you standing and called out to you.

"Y/n, go and assemble the younger ones here. I'll introduce everyone to the esteemed guest."

You nodded and went away to do as ordered, you gathered all the younger children of the house and had them assemble in the living room alongside the previous children.

"Well then, let me introduce everyone. The guest in front of you is La Signora, the Fair Lady, the 8th of the Fatui Harbingers and my colleague. You may call her Lady Signora or ma'am. Now, give your greetings to her."

"Welcome to the House of the Hearth, Lady Signora. We are honoured to be in your presence." all the children spoke together in an almost mechanical tone, this was a common greeting you all had practiced to be said whenever a guest came- which had been quite rare hence you were not used to it but still spoke flawlessly.

"Hmph, that's better now. Go on, tell me your names." Signora spoke and turned to face you all in anticipation. The children spoke out their names one by one and Signora surprisingly listened intently as if she was remembering everyone's. It was eventually your turn and you hesitated for a moment then softly spoke.

"Y-Y/n.... nice to meet you, ma'am."

"Hmm, that timidness won't do for someone your age. Have more confidence befitting a Fatui."

"Y-Yes ma'am!" you said with a bow and everyone around you chuckled at your state. You hated experiencing this, the laughing and mockery from others younger than you. Soon everyone had told their names and you all were dismissed as Signora proceeded to drink her tea and your 'Father' had to keep her company out of obligation. You had barely turned around the corner of the room when you heard the two of them talk and decided to listen in.

"What is your intention for coming here unannounced, Fair Lady?"

"My, are you also going to uphold Crucabena's rule of prohibiting us Harbingers from visiting?"

"I simply wish to know if you have been sent here by the Doctor, and if the two of you have some hidden motives. You must be aware of 'Mother's' previous dealings with him."

"Hmph, I have no connections with him. He does what he pleases and I do not barge in. My area of responsibilities is different."

"I will trust your word then. But that still doesn't answer my first question; what are you here for?"

"You have a knack for putting your nose in other people's business, don't you, Knave?"

"I believe the business here is completely connected with me and I cannot be excluded. So yes, I will question you until you answer."

You could tell your 'Father' wasn't pleased with her visit, especially since it was unannounced. You too wanted to find out more about this mysterious lady who was one of the Harbingers.

"Fine, satisfy your inhibition then. I was merely curious as to your operations, your methods. Now that you have replaced Crucabena, it seems I'm not the only one sceptical of your competency..."

Signora paused and put her tea cup down as a smirk formed on her lips, "....I'm here on behalf of Her Majesty herself. This is one of the things in my area of responsibilities. You'll do well to remember this, Knave."

"Huh, so you are here to snoop around and report to Tsaritsa if the House is still useful, is that it?

"If you wish to put it that way."

Arlecchino scoffed and stood up then excused herself out. You quickly ran away to the common hall as Arlecchino approached where you were standing and tried blending in with everyone before she could become suspicious of you. Signora left without announcing her return just as her arrival and the children finally eased out and started talking amongst themselves.

"That lady was so rude! Are all Harbingers this way?"

"She looked so pretty... but she was so mean...."

"Hey, will we have to join her unit when we grow up? I don't want to...."

Everyone showed clear disdain for her and wished she'd never come back, you too had similar thoughts but you felt she wasn't as bad as everyone thought. You remembered how she scolded you to be better, you thought you would feel hurt but instead you felt slightly motivation. You were treated as an outcast in the House, you didn't get along with other children but being one of the oldest you had to take care of them alongside Arlecchino.

You thought Signora would never visit again, but here she was just a week later. This time, she had some packets kept in the lobby and waited for the children to gather around her. Everyone looked at the packets in excitement and anticipation, expecting some kind of gifts. Arlecchino walked in with the remaining children and glared at Signora who ignored her then she picked up one box and began announcing.

"Since all of you behaved decently last time, I decided to bring over some presents. However, those who dislike me shall receive none, so it's better that you change your attitudes sooner than later."

Hearing the word 'presents' was enough to make everyone jump in joy but they held some reservations in front of Signora and acted moderately. You knew they didn't like her, but they pretended well enough in order to receive the presents. She proudly smiled and distributed boxes to everyone, now it was your chance and you walked up to her to receive yours.

"Since you are the oldest, I expect you to do well with this." she said while giving you your present.

"Thank you, ma'am." you earnestly thanked her, truly grateful for the gift, but you didn't know if she could tell that among everyone else who were simply pretending.

Your second meeting with her was different and more positive; but it seems first impressions were hard to forget so every time she came now, she brought over gifts. You, meanwhile, came to like her company a lot. While other children maintained distance from her, you got the chance to get close and talk with her. She seemed to appreciate your bravery and intelligence for choosing to interact with her over running away like everyone else.

Soon after, you no longer accepted her presents. Instead, you looked forward to her visits just to be able to see her and spend time with her. She visited once or twice a month mostly, sometimes once in two months if she was extra busy. She seemed to travel around a lot since she often brought souvenirs from other nations, but you preferred listening to her talk about what she did and saw.

"Ma'am, will you marry me when I grow up?" you suddenly questioned her one day while you escorted her to her ship. The question caught her off guard to a great extent, so much as so that she coughed and hid her blushing face before replying in her usual prideful manner.

"Such insolence.... kids these days are really unruly. Hmph, you'll have to do far better than that if you expect me to marry you, brat~"

You excitedly nodded, "I will! I promise I'll make you fall in love with me!"

Signora chuckled and patted your head in return. That was the first time she touched you in any manner, you knew she didn't take you seriously and discarded it as a child's ramblings. But you were determined to keep up your promise. For this, you knew you had to work hard and what your destination was.

"Father, may I make a request?" you went to Arlecchino one day after dinnertime to discuss with her privately.

"Hm, very well. What do you want?"

"I....I wish to train from you, combat training and anything else that's required to be in the Fatui."

"So that means you have decided to join the army once you grow up, is that correct?"

"Yes, I'm certain. Please train me, I humbly request." you spoke with a bow.

Arlecchino stared at you in silence as if she wanted to question your reasoning, but she decided against that and instead agreed to your request.

"We begin tomorrow. 5 am in the arena."

"Thank you, Father!"

Training with her was nothing short of grueling and hardcore, she didn't hold back and taught you everything as required. You learned various weapon skills in addition to strategies and tactics. Years passed as this routine continued, you were now 16 and changed significantly. Many children in the House had already left to pursue their own dreams as allowed by Arlecchino, this would have been impossible in the presence of the previous Knave.

It was time for you to choose your own path as well, which you had already decided long ago. Arlecchino called you to her office one day to discuss the same. She was, of course, aware of what you wanted. But she wanted a final answer now, and perhaps even satiate her curiosity finally.

"Thank you for all the time and energy you gave to train me, Father. I'm forever indebted to you. I will be sure to not disappoint you." you said with a bow and Arlecchino nodded.

"So, I understand your goal hasn't changed. You still want to join the army in Snezhnaya?"

"Yes, Father. I never once thought of anything else."

"Very well then, answer my question and you are free to go."

"Yes, Father."

"What is your reason for joining? You saw everyone else left to pursue a better life, you have been well aware of what constitutes being in the Fatui. So tell me, why do you still pursue this?"

You pursed your lips, you weren't surprised by the question.

"Because I want to help accomplish Her Majesty, the Tsaritsa's dream with you all. I want to walk the path of ice and destruction with my fellow Harbingers and create a new world together."

Arlecchino stayed silent for a while then let out a sigh, "A better answer than what I was expecting, you have surpassed my expectations. Very well, I shall have your name drafted right away."

"Thank you, Father. May I make one last request of you?"

"Go on, consider it your farewell gift."

"....If it is in your hands, could you assign me under Lady Signora?"

Arlecchino's eyes widened and a small smirk formed on her face before she replied, "Hm, it is not in my hands but I can recommend to the person responsible and they are more than likely to accept. However, the Fair Lady's unit may be a waste to you. She is a diplomat and engages in diplomacy related missions mostly, your skills are more suited for The Captain's unit."

"I...I appreciate that thought, Father, but I'd be grateful if I could be put under Lady Signora, please."

Arlecchino was intrigued, but not surprised. Truthfully, she always had a hunch about your true feelings for a long time. It was not hard to notice your attraction towards her colleague once she observed how much you clung to her whenever she visited, her colleague also admitted you were the best kid in the bunch and you both got along better than others.

"Alright, you are dismissed. Pack your things, you will depart tomorrow."

Just like that you were in Snezhnaya within a few days, the land of freezing landscapes and mountains under a blanket of stars and colorful lights. You were closer than ever to the promise you made years ago; perhaps it was foolish to pursue such a goal, Signora was a Harbinger, after all. You would merely become her subordinate now and from what you knew about her, she was very strict and hard to please.

Well, you had already seen some of that prideful side of hers as a child. But you also knew she cared much more than she let on. All these years when she came to the House, she presented no ulterior motive and even her previous statement to Arlecchino about being sent on Her Majesty's behalf looked like a fluke. You had sometimes caught her being happy surrounded by children, she really came just out of her heart's desire for love.

By next week, you were assigned to your unit and as you had hoped, you were in Signora's unit. She called all the new recruits to the training arena for your first brief session. You never told her that you planned to join the army, much less her own unit. You doubted Arlecchino would have disclosed it either so you assumed she may become slightly surprised seeing you. A chill flew through the hall as the door opened and your superior walked in.

"Begin with attendance right away." she ordered one of her subordinates who took out a list and began calling out names.

"Y/n Snezhevna" your name was called out after a while.

"Present!"

You looked over at Signora to see if she reacted in any manner but her face didn't shift from the cold, uncaring expression at all. She silently stood in front of you all and observed each and every one as if judging their competency right on spot, you wouldn't be surprised if she really was able to tell people's skills by just one look. After attendance, she introduced herself and gave a briefing about the Fatui's goal, Tsaritsa's noble dream.

You couldn't help but feel motivated and inspired with the way she talked about Tsaritsa's dream; you could tell she respected her a lot and worked hard to achieve the dream and she naturally expected the same from her own subordinates. You felt eager to work for her, she was as you had expected- strict, cold, relentless in work and tough to please. She paid no special heed to you; well, good thing you had prepared yourself for this.

It took lot of effort to make her open up to you- several early mornings of greeting her before anyone else, giving her flowers to start her day brighter, late nights of staying back for her and escorting her home, ranking the best in training so she'd choose you to take on missions- it took several months of all of this before she finally acted slightly more than your boss.

"Y/n, I'm going to the House next week. Come with me."

She hadn't been able to visit in a while; in fact, this was the first time she'd visit ever since you joined her unit. You agreed with no hesitation and by next week found yourself back in your home, the place you grew up in and made you into the person you are today, the place where you saw the woman you love who was currently standing beside you. You helped her carry the presents she bought along and distributed them to the children.

"There are less children here than before, did so many leave this year?" Signora questioned you.

"Yes ma'am, I'm the only one who joined the army. Others..... betrayed."

You carefully chose your words, you still had to abide by Arlecchino's rules and you couldn't disclose the truth. Signora hummed then crossed her arms over her chest, "I saw potential in some, it's a shame they left."

She paused and you nodded along then she mumbled under her breath, "Good thing you didn't...."

You didn't hear what she said and she didn't let you ask further. You departed after spending some time and were currently on the ship back to Snezhnaya. Signora called you to her cabin during the journey once, an unexpected call but you assumed she was going to brief you for the next mission. However, it was something entirely different.

"Say, Y/n, did Knave make you join the army because of your skills?"

"Ah— No, ma'am. I joined by my choice. And I didn't always have these skills, I trained after I decided I wanted to join."

"Hm.... Any particular reason you had for joining? Aside from Her Majesty's goal, a more personal reason?"

You hesitated to speak but she was adamant, "Um.... forgive me in case I overstep my boundaries with this." You walked up to her and kneeled on one knee in front of her and gazed at her affectionately, she suddenly became embarrassed at your position and remembered the silly promise you made as a child.

"It's to keep my promise to you, ma'am. To make you fall in love with me and to eventually marry you."

Signora's eye widened, she was definitely shocked to hear that you still thought of that. She had expected you to forget it after growing up, she certainly didn't think you'd take it this seriously.

"You.... you insolent child!" she lashed out and stood up with a stomp of her feet, you instinctively stepped back and bowed to her.

"That's your reason for joining?! A foolish reason like that? This is why you tried to get in my good books.... all the flattery and adulation was for this? You really expect me to fall for you and even marry you?!"

"I will try my best! I will keep trying until you grow tired of me and want to send me away! I will accept any punishment in that case, but I won't back away now! I promise!"

"You.... what did you even see in me? Do you not realize you are harboring a petty childhood crush?!"

Signora gritted her teeth at your unbelievable words. You continued bowing your head and waited for her to speak but she remained silent, you then slightly looked up at her and were caught by an unexpected expression on her face. Was she blushing? Was she blushing out of embarrassment? Did she actually become flustered at your words? You found it hard to believe, but she was unbearably adorable and you felt you had some chance.

"It's not that! I swear it's not that.... I love you, ma'am! I love you very much! I will do whatever it takes to show you!"

"You.... g-get out of my sight!" she ordered and turned away from you, showing her back to you. You smirked to yourself and retracted for now, it was better to be a little more patient. From that day on, you changed your tactics. You thought Signora would keep you away to discourage you but she made no changes to your schedule and rank. You knew she actually loved the way you treated her, the attention and praise fuelled her ego, and also nourished her needy self.

You flirted with her more from now on, in more obvious ways and sometimes even in public. People wondered why Signora tolerated you when you made her so annoyed, but you knew the truth. Just like that, a few years passed since you knew it would take a long time to win her heart and you remained steadfast. You were 21 now and determined to take things seriously. A perfect opportunity presented itself, a diplomatic gathering which Signora was invited to.

She usually attended these gatherings alone as the mission would become easier, she'd use her beauty to 'seduce' the host and important guests to get information from them. It was a tactic she was all too used to, even if she personally disliked doing it. You accompanied her and were ordered to remain hidden, to observe and be ready for any attacks. But you took some liberties and decided a different approach without telling her.

"Ahem, may I have this dance with the esteemed Fair Lady?" a familiar voice called out to her as she mingled with the guests, she turned around and saw a masked face, but she could make out it was you right away from your eyes. She looked at you from head to toe in surprise, you were wearing a formal suit as per the occasion giving you a very noble appearance. Signora hesitated and attempted to question you but you took her hand and pulled her to the dance area.

She looked around and saw many people staring at her with unpleasant looks, that's when it dawned on her. She decided to go with the flow, this wasn't a bad strategy either. In fact, it was more pleasant considering the person touching her now, at least it wasn't unfamiliar men with ulterior motives. You took up your positions; one hand each joined together, your other hand on her waist while hers was on your shoulder.

As the violins played, your bodies moved together in rhythm as if you had practiced several times like a couple. Signora never taught you to dance in all the time you had been with her, she was quite surprised how well you adapted to her pace and followed. Of course, you had learned from your ‘Father’. She figured it was better to know in case you ever had to do espionage missions to high-end gatherings like this. Signora actually felt impressed by you, she would have scolded you for defying orders but this was working better than she assumed.

“Is milady satisfied with my performance?~” you slyly questioned, earning a smirk from Signora.

“It’s not bad, slightly unpolished but nothing that some practice cannot fix~”

“Well, I hope to learn from the best~”

Signora smiled, “You acted against orders. You should know there will be punishment later.”

“As long as the mission is completed without hindrances, I’ll accept any punishment. After all, I already received my reward for it~”

“Oh?~ What might that be?~”

Your lips curled up from one side, you suddenly grabbed her thigh and tightened your hold around her waist before picking her up and spinning around. She instinctively held you tighter and barely registered what you just did, she was back on her feet before she knew it and heard the crowd bustling in awe at your action.

“To dance with the woman I love, the most beautiful of all. I couldn’t ask for anything better~”

Signora averted her gaze with a light blush, “You are mad.”

You leaned near her ear to whisper, “Only for you~”

Signora’s heart skipped a beat. The way you spoke that so earnestly, your eyes unwavering and determined, showing the depths of your feelings for her. Just why did you like her so much? What did she do to make you fall in love this badly? You then did another bold move; you made some distance from her then pulled her towards yourself and embraced her from behind. Her arms crossed over each other as you grasped them and caged her in your arms, holding her close in a possessive hug. You were close enough to bury your face in her neck and inhale her intoxicating scent, but you held back and gave her space.

Signora was startled as you tugged her near, a gasp threatening to escape her lips. Her surprise caved and she relaxed almost instinctively against you; the closeness of your bodies, the intimacy of your love- she could feel your heart beating against her body, it told her you were nervous but trying your best for her. She felt overwhelmed at this moment. She hadn’t let love in for so long in her life, she had closed herself off and dedicated her life to one goal. The love you touched her with was infinite and selfless, she had forgotten how it felt to bask in this kind of love.

She knew the children always pretended to like her, they only cared for the gifts. They were children, after all. She didn’t want to taint their innocence with her selfishness, she acted the way she did to satiate her own loneliness and desire for love. She never intended to make real bonds with any of them, she was content with knowing that they disliked her and would probably never think of her as someone more than who just bought expensive gifts. She was surprised the day she saw you in her unit, why did you come here? Why did you not run away when you had the chance? Now she knew the answer to that, and she didn’t know how to feel.

“Ma’am, one of our targets, Duke Cartier has been staring at us for long. He seems eager to steal you.”

Signora snapped out of her thoughts as you whispered in her ear, remembering the reason she was here and doing this in the first place.

“How do you know he’s not looking at you?”

“You were talking with him when I came, I saw him get angry when I took you away. It’s the perfect chance to get what we need from him.”

“...Fine, we’ll switch then. What are you going to do?”

“Our other target, Ms Lily, gave me a certain look some minutes ago. I suppose I’ll get to work with her.”

Signora raised her brow at that, “Can you handle it on your own? I had another strategy in mind for her.”

“It’s fine, she’ll be easy. I already got the toughest woman to dance with me, everyone else is a piece of cake~”

You softly chuckled in her ear making her smirk as well. You then turned her over and pulled her flush against your body before dipping her down and gazing at her passionately. The dancers moved in a circle and soon started switching partners, “Be careful with the Duke, he seems really unruly.”

Signora chuckled, “Don’t forget who you are talking to~”

Signora spun out of your arms and into the arms of the Duke who was one of your targets in this gathering. You looked at the way he possessively wrapped his arms around her and felt infuriated inside, but you had to hold back and focus on your mission. The other target walked up to you herself with a glass of wine in hand, you politely thanked her and engaged in a pleasant conversation. Signora danced with the Duke for some time before stopping as she was tired and started getting information out of him by trapping him in her words, she kept glancing at you every now and then and couldn’t help but feel uneasy.

The lady you were talking to was awfully touchy, it was clear as day she was flirting with you to get you in bed. Signora didn’t know why she felt this way, it was a strange feeling she never felt before. She wanted to walk up to you and take you away with her. Was this what people described to be jealousy? Was she actually feeling jealous looking at you with someone else? She noted how the lady ran her hands all over your body, feeling you up. The way she had you cornered against a wall and was covering your entire vision. She knew you wouldn’t act out of line, but she was also unaware of just how far you’d go for the mission.

What surprised her most was when she saw you walk out of the hall with the lady. So many questions ran through her mind now. Was this also part of your strategy? Were you still working for the mission? Did the lady seduce you to this extent that you’d go with her? And if you were so easy to sway, why say such heartwarming words to her and confuse her emotions? She couldn’t believe she felt this way over you now, what did suddenly happen that she had this unspeakable urge to have you? She decided to put her mind away from these thoughts and focus on her own side of the mission, this is what she was here for.

A lot of time passed when she finally pushed away the Duke from her after taking the required information and completing negotiations. She was exhausted now, she leaned against the wall and let out a sigh then picked up a glass of water while looking towards the door you had exited from. Within a few minutes, you finally came back all alone. The lady wasn’t with you, your appearance looked same as before. Your eyes met Signora’s and both of you nodded, indicating the successful mission completion then made your way out separately. You met up with her at the designated spot, happily going to her to congratulate her.

“Was everything okay, ma’am? He didn’t do anything to you, did he?” you asked with concern and checked her all over, ensuring her wellbeing.

She scanned you from head to toe as well and didn’t find anything amiss, she scoffed then turned around to walk towards the carriage and answered none of your questions.

“Mission report in the carriage.”

“Yes ma’am!”

You followed her and settled in the carriage together before it started moving. You sat on the seat in front of her and sense a strange aura around her, she refused to look at you and seemed angry but you figured she was just tired from the long night. You then started telling her what you found out from the lady, expecting some kind of input from her on the intel collected but she simply nodded and said nothing else. You knew something was definitely wrong now.

“Ma’am, are you okay? If you are feeling unwell then please tell me, I’ll bring over some medicine and anything else you need.”

“I’m fine.”

“O-Okay....”

You stayed silent for the rest of the way. You wondered if she was angry at you for defying orders, it took a lot of bravery for you to do something like that but you hoped for her to be pleased, but perhaps you took the wrong decision. The carriage reached her mansion after some time, you stepped out first and offered your hand to her as she got down. She stared at your stretched out hand and furrowed her brows then stepped out without holding your hand, you felt disheartened but tried to hide it and were about to bid her good night when she suddenly grabbed your hand and started pulling you with herself. You were confused and almost panicked, questioning her along the way but she shushed you with one gesture.

You had never been inside her mansion, this was the first time you stepped foot inside. But you were in no state to admire the house as she kept pulling you further inside, taking you upstairs and opening a door to a room. She pulled you inside the room and shut the door close then silently stood in front of you, her back turned to you while you leaned on the door and waited for her to say something. You had no idea what suddenly came over her. She wouldn’t act this way if she was angry at you for defying orders.

“....What did you do with her?” she mumbled under her breath, her words barely audible to you.

“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that, ma’am. Could you please repeat?”

Signora clicked her tongue then turned around and sprinted up to you before harshly pinning you against the door, her hands planted on either side of your head while she stared at you with an expression you had never seen before on her face.

“What did you do with that woman? Did you have sex with her?!”

Your face flushed bright red, “No! Not at all, ma’am! I would never—!”

“Then where did you go for so long and what did you do?! Do you think I was blind to the way she was touching you and being all over you?! This is how you negotiate?!”

“N-No, ma’am! Please listen to me, I did nothing of that sort! We went to the restroom and I—”

“This is how your love is? You say all those silly promises to me, pursue me for so long, and then you get swayed by a woman you just met?!”

Your eyes widened at her words and the expression on her face, she was annoyed and in distress. You didn’t expect her to feel this way, you didn’t even realize she thought this. To see her being jealous was strangely adorable, and also foolish of her since she had nothing to worry about.

“Ma’am, please listen to me. We went to the restroom and I used the truth potion on her then tranquilized her. It took me time to hide her unconscious body, that’s all. I came back as soon as I was done.”

Signora finally calmed down a little hearing your truth, “Is that all? Nothing else happened?”

You smiled at her then gently held her hand, “I swear on my ‘Father’s’ life. What I told you is the absolute truth, no more no less. I could never do something so important with a random person like that.”

Signora took a deep breath then nodded. She pulled away her hands from the door and let you rest easy. You were feeling over the moon at this reaction from her, you tried to question her back but she suddenly held your jaw and before you knew it, her soft and moist lips were placed on your own. It was a serene feeling; your mind went blank for a moment and all you could feel was the sensation of her lips moving with yours. Her hand released your jaw and instead cupped your face, her body pressed into you as she continued kissing you. It was a slow and gentle kiss; her lips were warm and tasted like strawberry with a hint of wine. It was intoxicating, addicting. You slowly felt like melting into her.

She stopped and pulled away soon, leaving you with a sense of emptiness. You gazed at each other with uneven breaths, a needy and desperate expression on her face that you couldn’t look away from. It gave you a sense of wanting to please her, pleasure her, service her, make her happy in any way. She did not know but you had long known about her past, about the fact that she witnessed the cataclysm and lost everyone, especially her lover. You knew about her legacy as the Crimson Witch of Flames, you knew everything about her pain and sacrifice and why she was so dedicated to the Tsaritsa’s goal. But none of that was the reason why you loved her. You found out all of that much later.

“I...I love you, ma’am. I love you so much. Please, let me make you happy. I promise I will do anything in my ability to make you happy. I will always be there for you, I will always support you and love you.”

You earnestly confessed to her; this was your real confession. You couldn’t put it in better words. If she refused you now, you’d probably give up but still continue to support her. Signora softly smiled at you and caressed your face before kissing your cheek.

“Do you still want me to say my answer? Was my action earlier not enough?~”

You blushed, “W-Well, it just feels good to hear it as well...”

Signora softly chuckled then leaned closer, her lips ghosting yours and you had the urge to kiss her again.

“I love you too. I’m grateful to have you here with me, I will love you back just as much as you have loved me and even more.”

Your cheeks flushed red, finding the situation slightly unbelievable. But she didn’t let your mind wander as she pressed her lips to yours again, this time she didn’t hold back. It was a needy and passionate kiss, her tongue licked your lips and swirled with your own in a heated exchange. She pressed herself even closer to you, essentially squeezing you against the door while her lips relentlessly sought yours. You slowly placed your hands around her body and held her as you kissed, she lodged her knee against your crotch and you almost gasped in surprise.

You then felt her hands rub across your chest, sliding off your coat and kissing you harder. She released the kiss and instead planted kisses on your jaw and down your neck, unbuttoning your collar for more access. Her lips imprinted on your skin, red lipstick marks forming where they touched. You threw your head back with a soft moan, she continued marking you with her lips as if to claim you as her own. You then felt her teeth graze your skin before sinking down near your collarbone, a startled mewl leaving your lips and your hands clenching her dress.

“M-Ma’am, please let me touch you....~”

“Say my name, Rosalyne. And...” she leaned near your ear to whisper in a low and seductive tone, “....Do whatever you want to~”

If that didn’t fire you up enough to take down Celestia then nothing would. You pulled her closer her grabbed her thigh up, she instinctively wrapped her arms around your neck giving you the opportunity to grab her other thigh too and carry her in your arms. She chuckled against your lips while you walked towards the bed and laid her on the edge, she roughly kissed you as you slid off her cape then dropped to your knees between her legs. She smirked and parted her legs for you, you caressed the soft skin of her legs then planted kisses up her knee and thigh. Her body trembled and breaths rose, you looked like a devout follower worshipping a goddess, and she enjoyed every bit of this treatment.

You kissed her inner thighs and looked up at her as if asking for permission to go deeper. She grasped your head in response, fingers interlacing in your hair and a slight tug to pull you closer. You wasted no time and slipped off her underwear then dove in to her inviting cunt. She intently watched as you lapped her clit, biting her lower lip and tightening her grip in your hair. You pushed her legs further apart and lapped up her outer walls now, her body arched in ecstasy feeling your tongue pleasure her, soft moans echoing in the room that were music to your ears.

“Mhm.... faster.... m-more...~”

Never in your wildest dreams did you imagine you’d actually get to do this with her, but you were going to give her the best experience possible. You wanted her to feel the greatest pleasure and happiness. You raised her legs and placed them on your shoulders as you pushed deeper, your tongue inserting inside her cunt and prodding her sensitive spots.

“Aaaah~ Yes.... right there~ Nghhh~!”

Her nails scratched your scalp as she grasped your hair tighter, your mouth wrapped around her core and sucked the bundle of nerves while your tongue scissored inside her.

“Look at me.... mmh.... eyes on me~”

She tilted your head up making your eyes meet. Her hooded eye gazed at your own hypnotized ones, an exchange of desire and hunger happening between you. She wrapped her legs around your head and caged you, her plush thighs squeezed your face as she body arched further with your ministrations.

“C-Close.... yes... keep doing that~ Aaah~ Right there!”

You braced yourself, your thumb circled her clit a few times and that did it for her. She threw her head back and came in your mouth with a loud moan, you drank up every drop of her essence while gazing at her as she released. The sight of her was incomparable, no scenery in the world could ever satisfy you this way. You parted from her cunt and felt your own erection straining against your pants, your shaft hard and throbbing to release. Rosalyne came down from her high and grabbed your collar to pull you up and rubbed her hand across your crotch, you flinched and buried your face in her neck making her chuckle and bite your earlobe.

“Hmm, is my darling eager to cum?~”

“Ngh... y-yes, please....”

“But have you earned it?~” she caressed the back of your head with her other hand, twirling your strands in her fingers.

You hissed as she pressed her hand into your crotch, “Mm, y-yes.... please....”

Her angelic voice flew in your ear making you even harder, your cock twitched against her palm and she licked her lips before grasping your hair and tugging your head back. She bit your lip then proceeded to unbuckle your pants, dropping them down with your underwear. You kicked away your undergarments as your cock stood up at full mast in front of her eyes. She wrapped her hand around your length and began to pump, intently watching as pre-cum gathered on your tip.

“Hmm, quite an impressive length and....girth~”

She slid her finger across the prominent vein on your shaft, caressing it from the base to the head then gathering the pre-cum on her thumb and spreading it across. You moaned from her movements, it was clear she wanted to take her time and tease you, all just to make you more needy for her. You were barely holding on from the way her hand rubbed, she then retracted her hand just as you were about to burst. You looked at her with a pleading look and she smirked then climbed on the bed more, discarding the rest of her clothes and presenting her naked body to you.

“Come in, I can’t wait anymore~”

Oh, how could you hold back after hearing that? You lunged forward enthusiastically, coming on top of her and rubbing your tip across her slit. Her juices and your own pre-cum mixed together, both of you softly moaning from the sensations. She wrapped her arms around your neck and pulled you as she laid down then connected your lips in a rough kiss, her ample breasts pressed against yours and you really felt like you were dreaming. You were surprised how eager she was for this right away, but you were going to give her anything she wanted.

“Aaah~ Come on, put it in.... ravage me~”

She moaned against your lips and you wasted no time to push your cock inside her. You aligned your shaft and slowly thrusted in then pushed all the way and sheathed inside, her warm and tight walls enveloped you as you moaned together at the penetration.

“S-So warm.... too warm....” you grunted.

“I-It’s my body.... mmh.... I’ll try to adjust....”

“It’s fine... aah~ It feels good....”

You had a hunch as to why her body was abnormally warm from the inside, but you really didn’t mind and it wasn’t unbearable.

“M-Move, Y/n... My love... move already~”

Did you hear that right? She really just called you that? Now you were even more motivated to pleasure her. You parted her legs more and adjusted them on your shoulders before beginning to thrust forward, she moaned and clenched the bedsheets as your bodies rocked together. Her breasts bounced in front of your eyes, you grabbed the mounds of flesh and squeezed them while continuing to thrust. Your dick rammed all the way inside, it didn’t feel as hot as before but her walls became tighter by the minute. She was clenching your cock as if to keep it inside forever and never let go.

“Aaah~ Aaah~ Y/n! So good! Aaaahn! More! Faster.... harder!~”

“You are so hot.... so pretty.... Rosa...!~”

The nickname was endearing to her. Her walls suddenly tightened around you causing you to groan and thrust more, practically pounding into her. Your thighs slapped against her hips, her moans and sounds of skin slapping ringing in your ears. The sight of her pleasured face, breasts bouncing and your cock lodged inside her- everything aroused you to no end, you could keep at this forever if she wanted.

“I love you... I love you so much, Rosalyne...” you moaned while gazing into her eyes, her heart skipped a beat once again tonight. How long had it been that somebody loved her this way? How long had she been yearning to hear these words?

She had forgotten the time now, but she wasn’t going to forget you and this moment that you gave her. Her hands held your shoulders and pulled you down into a loving embrace, her legs locking around your waist and caging you within so you won’t pull out. She moaned dirty words in your ear, the kind of words you’d never expect to hear from her in day-to-day life, her hands clenched your back and nails scratched down your skin as you drilled fast and hard into her.

“C-Cumming... I can’t hold on more.... let me pull out—ngh!~”

“No... inside... do it, aaahn~!”

You wanted to so badly, even though you were aware she likely couldn’t conceive. You just wanted your seed to be inside her, and it seems she wanted the same thing. You buried your face in her neck and kept pounding, she felt your dick twitch and finally a stream of hot liquid sprayed across her walls and filled her up. You groaned as you came deep inside her, she moaned as she also released and clenched your cock tightly, milking you of every last drop. Your cum kept pouring inside as if you had stored gallons worth, some of it dripping out from her. You panted out and rested on top of her body but your dick was still hard.

“T-That was amazing.... haah...~” you said while sweating and placed light kisses on her neck.

All of a sudden, your body was flipped over and the ceiling was in your vision before being overtaken by your lover’s face. Signora straddled you, still breathing heavily while gazing at you. Her hands cupped your face as she leaned down to passionately kiss you, your cock rubbed against her ass and she grinded back n forth on your lap. She released the kiss and stood up on her knees then held your cock up and aligned it to her slit, you eagerly watched as your cock split her open and the moment you connected with her.

The warm and tight feeling engulfed your cock once again, while your hard shaft scraped her insides in all the right ways. You both could become addicted to each other at this rate, but perhaps that was fine. She placed her hands on each side of your head and started bouncing up and down while her gaze was fixated on you, her face contracted to pure pleasure and ecstasy as her voice cried out with the way you penetrated her deepest spots. Her hips slapped against your thighs heavily, you were sure the sounds of your lovemaking could be audible in the whole mansion.

“P-Promise me... Y/n....” She suddenly spoke and clenched your jaw.

“You mean everything you said... promise me you won’t leave me....aahn~ Promise me you’ll always be here— hngh~ Promise me you’ll love me forever.... I won’t forgive you...mmh~ I won’t forgive you if you break any of them— Aaah!~”

A loud moan was pushed from her throat as you suddenly thrusted up into her and caught her off guard, she leaned forward on you and hugged your tight as both of you coordinated your movements.

“I promise....aaah....I promise....you don’t have to worry....I know everything about your life, your fear.... I won’t be like him.... I will always choose you....ngh!~”

Rosalyne’s eye widened hearing that, but somehow that’s exactly what she wanted to hear. You then sat up while holding her and rutted into her more, she held onto your shoulders and grinded back n forth too while gazing into your eyes. You pulled her in for a passionate kiss, your bodies convulsing as you rutted a few more times before cumming once again. She moaned and threw her body in a beautiful arch, your arms holding her as you bucked your hips and pulled her into you to fill her up.

She held your head close to her chest as your cum filled her up, both of you breathing heavily from the intense orgasms. She smiled in satisfaction and kissed your forehead then embraced you affectionately, she was glad she gave love another chance. She was going to do things right this time and love you to her heart’s content, just like you did all these years.

#genshin impact #genshin smut #genshin impact smut #la signora #genshin women #signora x reader #la signora x reader #genshin impact signora #genshin x reader #g!p reader

510 notes · View notes

blegh-110 · 4 months

Text

i. "we were both young when i first saw you" | Sam Monroe

Pairing: older brother's best friend!Sam x fem!reader

Summary: You never liked your older brother's friends, they were always mean to you; kicking your seat on the bus, pulling your hair, and tricking you. You made it your mission to stay away from them, expect for one who is the first to treat you nicely.

Warnings: None! Just a cute little teenage romance <3

Word count: 851

Next part

Older brother's best friend!Sam who you’ve known since you were 12 and he was 14. You remember your brother first coming home from his first day of high school talking about a really cool guy in his english and history class, someone named Sam Monroe. Of course you didn’t really care for your older brother's friends, in fact, you had a bit of a personal vendetta against all of them for the pranks and tricks they pulled on you when you were younger. Even now you try to avoid them and their attempts to give you a wet willy and a flick on the forehead. You were also at the age where boys were simply scary, especially older ones who were friends with your older brother.

So when the time came that your brother invited Sam over to hang out after school, you hid in your room for as long as possible and tried to finish your school work. But it was difficult to focus when you could just feel the presence of another boy in your home. And it wasn’t fair. It wasn’t fair that you couldn’t go out into the kitchen for a snack in fear that you would run into one of your brother’s friends. They were just so demeaning, they never missed out on the chance to remind you that you’re younger and dumber than them.

You checked the time, 11:37. Surely everyone in the house is asleep, you thought. Quietly, you stepped out of your room into the kitchen, wanting your trip for your sweet tart ropes and water to be fast. But frustration and anger very quickly took over when you couldn’t find the candy you bought with your own money.

“What’re you looking for?” A voice you didn’t recognize said behind you. In the short second before you turned around, you felt your blood run cold and mind go blank. And it became worse when you looked at him, he was the most beautiful boy you had ever seen. He was leaning against the doorway with an intense stare, and what caught your eye was the blue streak in his hair. He looked so cool. With all the courage you can muster up, you speak.

“My candy, I bought sweet tart ropes earlier and can’t… find them.” Your words are quiet, you don’t want to wake anyone up but the boy in front of you is the main reason. At your reply he stands to his full height with a frown.

“Your brother said I could have ‘em, shit, I’m sorry.” And what was strange was that he really looked like it.

“It’s okay,” It really wasn’t, you were still mad. But you just wanted the whole interaction to be over, he was too cute in your eyes to continue any sort of conversation. You wouldn’t be able to speak properly if this went on. So you went back to your room right after, setting aside your homework for tomorrow because you couldn’t get him out of your mind. Although it was only a minute with him, he had shown more kindness than any of your brother's friends, or any boy in fact. And you held on to that very small moment.

You rarely saw him for your entire seventh grade school year, of course you would. He wasn’t your friend, only someone you had a little bit of a crush on. But the times you did have together, despite it being small, were special to you.

Like when he listened to you complain about your insufferable science teacher, “That guy’s a fucking asshole.” His vulgarity is a part of him that always makes you laugh.

“Shh, Sam!” You’re smiling as you bring your pointer finger to your lips, telling him to quiet down, “my parents are in the other room.” At that his eyes widened and head turned to where you’re pointing.

“Okay, I’ll stop. But seriously, I was also in his class and he was the worst, he always picked on me”

As much as you cared for Sam, he was a troublemaker, and you asked if he did anything to warrant that treatment.

“Well, yeah but what does that have anything to do with it?” And before you can answer he poked your side, making you yelp, and ran off.

Or when you first saw him with the piercing right below his bottom lip, “you like it?” You only nodded your head before bolting to your room and shoving your face into the pillow.

And when their freshman class was having a dance, he knocked on your door that night asking if you had any black eye shadow to put on him. The application was messy, since he decided he wanted it literally at the last minute and your brother was yelling for him from the living room to hurry. When you were done and got a good look at his face you blushed. In combination with his piercing, dyed hair, makeup, and suit, you got butterflies and wanted to be the one who he took to the dance.

This one was written for my younger self who wanted an emo boyfriend. I think I might do another part simply for myself. Hopefully this reaches the hayden christensen part of tumblr. Please leave a comment, I love reading them <333 banner is by @dollywons

#hayden christensen #hayden christensen x reader #haden christensen x fem!reader #hayden christensen imagine #hayden christensen fluff #hayden christensen x you #hayden christensen fanfiction #life as a house #sam monroe #sam monroe x reader #sam monroe fluff #sam monroe x you #sam monroe imagine #sam monroe x y/n #hayden christensen x y/n

508 notes · View notes

starrynights-sunnyskies · 2 months

Text

⋆*·ﾟI heard it in your silence... misa x putellas!femreader

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

when misa watches the girl she's crushed on for years retreat into her own shadows, she knows something is wrong.

or; part of the as the flowers bloom, my heart does too universe (can be read as standalone)

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Misa’s perceptive eyes were glued to you sitting across the room as soon as your laugh reached her ears over the loud chatter and music. With your hand slapped to your mouth to hide that gorgeous smile of yours, probably out of some hidden insecurity, you leaned into your friends. You seemed to add something to one of their comments before laughter commenced again. With your eyes squeezed shut in glee and your head falling back, Misa was reminded of why she'd ever developed such a crush on you. She couldn't help but let the corners of her mouth pull into the faintest smile. Your radiant joy was contagious, if anything. And the need to be in or around your orbit was addictive to her, at best.

The little venue Alexia had rented to celebrate another year around the moon was packed with friends, family and other acquaintances and still, Misa hadn't had any trouble zeroing in on the back of your head as soon as she'd walked in. She'd recognise that very specific shade of hair colour anywhere, even in the dim lighting with overhead party lights dancing across the walls.

She had to fight to keep her expression neutral and not smile like a fool instead of focussing on the conversation going on around her. It was horrible to crush on a girl who’d never be interested in her, but what she deemed even worse, was falling for her friend’s younger sister... someone who, to make matters worse for her case, was very much taken... going by the woman glued to your side.

Y/N Putellas— youngest of the three sisters that Elí no doubt had had to reign in and keep in check throughout your childhoods. She knew some bits about you and your life, which was a surprising small amount, seeing as Alexia spoke of her sisters so often it always seemed as if they were part of the team. But perhaps Misa preferred it that way. If she'd keep you at a distance, you'd feel more like an enigma than a real person. You had always felt like someone from another world to her anyway. Someone from a world so foreign to her that she had just stuck to glances and smiles instead of starting conversations or building a friendship. She knew you wouldn't have minded. She'd watched you closely to know your face would blossom into the biggest smile when someone approached you to talk. Though your welcoming energy and open disposition made her think otherwise, Misa still felt like you were out of reach. Unattainable. Meant to admire instead of indulge with.

The first time she'd met you, properly met you, and not through passing after matches or birthday parties like these, you and Alba had tagged along to a post-season vacation with your sister. Misa’s cheeks still dusted pink at the memory of how she’d acted around you the entire week. Or rather, how she hadn't... seeing as she'd frozen up whenever you would so much as look her way, send her a smile or sit beside her during dinners to try and strike up conversation. And the fact that the heat had made you parade around in a plethora of swimwear, or without a top on to sunbathe, hadn't helped either. She’d hid the rapid beating of her heart during such occasions exceptionally well. And even if she feared that her stoicism to everything you did had turned you away from her, she hated how you would still smile at her ever so gently, as if you thought Misa was deserving of some patience to let her come out of her shell. Either that, or you were a mindreader and could see the thoughts spiralling in her head whenever you sidled by her to grab something off the kitchen counter. No, Misa knew she had hidden her crush well, otherwise she would have received a lot of teasing comments and probably a sour look or a stern talking to from Alexia.

There was part of her that felt guilty for liking a woman who wasn't available, but what was she to do? Tell her heart to shut up and pick the next best available woman to crush on instead? She knew she couldn't do that, or wouldn't, more like, even if she had full control over her emotions. Which she hadn't. Sometimes she hated that and how it meant that she couldn't spare herself from the longing. Besides, you'd never made even a single move on her showcasing you felt what she did, and she preferred to keep her ego intact instead of facing inevitable rejection by approaching a woman like you.

And even if you had been single, Misa knew she would never take her chance. If not for you being Alexia’s little sister, which should've ended her dilemma then and there, then for the fact she knew you were on a whole other level. Even with knowing you only superficially after some smalltalk and overheard conversations, she could sense you were one of a kind. There weren’t a lot of people who could look at a person with so much grace and adoration, and there sure weren't enough people who made someone feel so comfortable just by being around them. And that laughter… the giggles and the smiles. Oh, how those could brighten up anyone’s day… Misa's days, especially. Well, you were one of those few lucky people who possessed that gift, you were special, Misa was certain.

Misa had never really had a high school crush, too focused on football to spend her energy and time on losing track of her dream to get to the top. She figured this was the equivalent of that. Of fluttered stomachs after shy glances, stumbled words after locked eyes and a rapid heartbeat as she daydreamed of being near you. So, yes, a crush. She could be fine with that. Still, maybe it would have been better to have a crush on a straight girl, because then she’d know there would never be a chance and she could slowly let it go, but this was different. And even if she didn’t think about you every day, she did feel her mouth go dry and her heart beat faster each time Alexia would bring your name up, or bring you along. Maybe it would just be like that for a while, at least until Misa would properly fall in love with someone who was right for her so that her crush on you would eventually fade into the abyss.

Misa let the drink in her glass slosh around and watched how you happily chatted away with who she knew were your best friends. Alexia had talked about the four of you now and then, always with a fond smile on her face. Misa could see now why your older sister felt that way. There hadn't been a single dull moment between you, as it seemed, and no one was left out. Well, no one but one. But she wasn't part of your friend group. Not really. Maybe by association, but that was where your friends drew the line. That much was clear by the distance they'd put between them and the woman by your side.

Misa watched as you sat leaning forward, elbows on your knees and flute with champagne in your hands as you listened to one of your friends, purposefully turning your back on your girlfriend. Misa’s brows furrowed— what had she done to deserve such a treatment from you? Surely something bad, seeing as Misa was certain you'd never treat someone like that just for kicks. When she watched how your girlfriend harshly whirled you back to sit pressed against her, she clenched the glass in her hand. The conversation broke apart for a second, all eyes now on your girlfriend after what she'd pulled. One of your friends said something, quickly jumped up and playfully pulled you up, creating an easy escape from the situation, probably with the excuse to go to the restroom. Your friends that were left gave each other a look. Then, one of them turned to your girlfriend with a pointed finger and a face set in accusatory anger. Misa was eager to see what would happen next, but a hand on her shoulder pulled her out of her thoughts.

"Enjoying yourself?"

Of course, it would be your older sister disrupting her everlasting and ongoing thoughts of you. Misa nibbled on her lip in thought, then fought out a smile and nodded.

"Come, I want to introduce you to someone. I think she's just your type."

Misa made a face but let herself get pulled off the seat nonetheless. Maybe it would be for the best to finally move on from you, no matter how serious her crush. Or maybe exactly because of that.

"I'm sure you'll like her."

"Fine," She muttered, feigning annoyance as Alexia's laugh reached her ears.

"I want to at least set one of my friends up with their once-in-a-lifetime lover."

"Is that a thing you've still got on your bucketlist?"

"Something like that, I just want to see you happy with someone," Alexia shrugged absentmindedly, smiling at people as they pressed through the crowd, but Misa stilled as they passed the door to the outside area.

With a tear stricken face and your friend's arm slung around your waist, you disappeared outside behind the doors, probably for some fresh air.

Ignore it. Don't give in. Not your business. You don't even know her. Let. It. GO.

Misa felt Alexia pull at her arm, and she pushed herself to follow her friend instead of following Alexia's little sister out. She had no business checking up on you. She needed to get you out of her head. But something was wrong, and she hated how it had made your smile disappear, the one thing she had started to let dictate her days whenever you were around. Which meant her night was ruined now. She’d seen your mood get ruined before, which typically seemed to happen whenever the group had talked about relationships and love during the vacation in Ibiza. You would turn sullen and quiet, but would mask it so perfectly that even Misa wouldn’t have noticed it if she hadn’t already been staring at you to witness the change.

You had laughed along to the silly banter of insignificant relationship quarrels and would smile or awe on cue if someone told an adorable story about their girlfriend. But you had turned your head away to bask in the Ibizan sun as soon as you'd felt afraid you were going to be asked about your relationship. You knew some of your sister's friends had a knack for being direct, Jenni being one of them. Despite having built a great bond with her thanks to the time she'd been with Alexia, she didn't know the extent of your life nowadays. Let alone your love life. You knew she'd meant well but winced nonetheless when her familiar voice silenced the restaurant table by asking you that one dreaded question;

"How's your lover doing?" She'd said it with a playfulness to her voice that showcased how little she really knew about said lover, but she couldn't be blamed for what she didn't know. Or better, for what you hadn't told her. You hadn't told anyone though, for that matter. Not even your best friends, though they had puzzled the pieces together after little effort and had barely needed to pull the words out of you to have you admit how things were really going.

With a sharp inhale, you pulled on your mask, your face breaking out into a wide grin seconds after as you grabbed your wine glass and twirled it around, trying to stall the time by pretending to let its rich aroma fill your nostrils.

"Really great." Your voice rose, knowing it wouldn't work if you'd deadpanned it with the same pain in your tone as the pain you were feeling inside.

"She's clearly downplaying it to not make us jealous, no?" Alexia threw a chuckle at you, "They're spending all their time together nowadays. We can barely get a phonecall in or steal her away for an evening. I'm surprised she's even here." Though Alexia seemed amused, there was something else that shone through in her eyes. Perhaps melancholy because of the deep sense of your absence in her life.

"I don't think she is," Alba chided from across of Misa, eyes narrowed while a smirk played at her lips, "She'd rub it in our faces nonetheless. Which means-" She hummed in thought, examining her little sister, then gasped as she watched you furrow your brows in slight worry. Alba had always been the one to better read between the lines of your acts and masks, and you knew how forthright she could be to point it out. You just hoped she wouldn't bare your relationship issues to the entire table, if she even had a hunch this time. You didn't want to talk about it. Not with her, not with anyone. You would work it out together and keep it between you and your girlfriend, as she had made you promise. And perhaps, if you didn't speak about it, you could pretend nothing was wrong.

"You miss her, don't you? It's the only plausible reason you've been disappearing further and further into your seat with all this lovey dovey talk going on around here," Alba threw a quick accusatory look Patri's way, who threw up her hands at the allegation.

Misa watched the worry ebb away from your face, but it didn't disappear entirely. Something was still plaguing you.

"I do," You nodded, solemnly, bringing your glass to your lips and nipping ever so slightly, as if you didn't want to down the entire glass until it could be done as a last resort to soften whatever blow you still seemed to be waiting for.

Jenni awed, fingers pinching at your cheek, to which you couldn't help but let out a genuine squeal and giggle, "Who'd have thought little Putellas would find her one true love before any of us?"

"Hey!"

"You know we weren't meant to be, no offence," Jenni laughed at Alexia, who playfully shook her head in return, then turned back to you.

"She treating you well, honeyboo?"

You knew it was but a joke, you could see it on her face, but you couldn't help but take the question extremely serious. Your thoughts wandered to the past few months. Your jaw tensed. No, she hadn't been good to you, but in her defence, it had been entirely your doing. Well, you figured it had to be.

The fact that you waited too long to answer and how your eyes drifted to the many people walking the promenade behind Jenni, made the table quiet in an instant.

"She is treating you well, isn't she?" Alexia piped up almost immediately, ignoring the kick that Alba dealt to her ankle, silently telling her to not bring it up with a table full of her teammates.

"She is- sorry, the wine's getting to me quicker than usual in this heat." A breathy chuckle left you, and Misa watched as you tipped your glass backwards and downed the wine.

Alba eyed you, calling your bluff instantly.

"So you down it all in one go?" Claudia wondered, blinking as she teased.

"Okay, I see what kind of night this will be. I'm all for it," Leila raised her glass, "To us and our love lives. However glamorous or miserable they may be."

Misa shook her head and let out a breathy chuckle.

Jenni laughed, "And if it's non-existent, then we'll salute to getting a hot lover-" She eyed Misa momentarily before she noticed the empty glass you were playing with. She waved the nearest waitress over, "Wait- can we get a refill on her glass? We can't salute with an empty one."

"What happens if we do?"

"Seven years of bad luck, or something."

"I thought it was seven years of bad sex?"

"One and the same thing, isn't it?"

Misa watched you quietly after not having said a word in ages and using her semi-invisibility to observe you a little longer.

The waitress returned with a glass of dry white and she watched as you gave her a kind smile, feeling sympathetic after having been a waiter yourself on the weekends during university. It was where you'd met one of your best friends— Catalina. You'd been thrown to the wolves during your first shift by having to wait the tables of both a hen party and a group of college boys from some other country, all while an El Clásico was playing on the screens. They had made you run around the restaurant like a headless chicken. You'd dropped the tray of drinks you'd carefully been balancing in both your hands the second FC Barçelona had scored against Real Madrid and the terrace had roared and jumped up in pure delight. The men that had bumped into you had been too drunk or excited, or both, to notice what they'd done, but Catalina had. She'd helped you clean up and then offered to stay an hour longer after her shift to help bridge the hour before another coworker would take over from you, even if your boss should've had that covered in the first place. The rest was history. Your other two best friends, Abril and Isla, had immediately accepted her into the group. But that hadn't been too hard. Despite Catalina being older than the three of you, and definitely being labeled as the mom-friend, she had a youthful spirit to her and perfectly matched the energy of your already established silly little trio. Catalina had been a constant and unwavering source of guidance and maturity mixed with a silliness that was a surprise to you at first. But Catalina and her wise words were not here to help you out of this situation right now.

Misa had taken notice of how you had grabbed the glass and raised it to clink as soon as it had been put in front of you. But you had not touched it for the rest of the dinner afterwards, seemingly not taking the easy bait offered to you to drown your sorrows in the unsuspecting bliss of a drunken haze. She applauded you for it. Not a lot of people would've done the same.

The taxi ride home had been eventful, with Jenni roping the taxi driver into her improvised karaoke party mid-ride and the others joining in as soon as they'd noticed the driver wasn't opposed to some lighthearted fun with a group of young women in his van. But Misa had sensed something was still awry the second you had shuffled onto the last row. You'd buried yourself beneath your blazer and she knew it was more of a way to comfort yourself than to warm you up from the chilly AC. And when you had closed your eyes and tilted your head back to rest when the singing had commenced, she furrowed her brows in worry as she glanced across Leila, who sat in between you. Leila noticed Misa's line of sight, stopped singing when she saw your far-away state, and tugged at you,

"Do we need to stop?" She asked, hinting at the possibility of the wine messing with your stomach. That, together with the way the car was swirling along the mountain pass as it drove to your Airbnb at the top of the mountain.

You opened your eyes, gave Leila a tight-lipped smile and shook your head.

"I'm just tired. Sun and alcohol always put me right to sleep."

You'd excused yourself and disappeared into your room under the same guise, but Misa knew that was a lie when she heard the sniffles and muffled sobs coming from the room next to hers in the villa you'd all rented out for the week. It was your room, and unless you had suddenly decided to swap rooms with one of the other girls, it were your sobs she heard.

It tore at her conscience to lay there in her bed and have to listen to you and know she should and could do nothing about it. While you were open and approachable, you were incredibly reserved when it came to your feelings. You only showed a surface level of what was inside, the rest safely tucked away behind layers of brick walls. You'd shown so by brushing over your true state multiple times that vacation, so why would you accept Misa's comfort if she were to knock on your door?

Not being able to listen to it any longer, she made her way to the shared kitchen and filled a glass of water, gulping it down immediately as she looked through the tall glass sliding doors. The few inflatables bobbed gently in the pool and their towels and bathing suits were still drying on the edge of some chairs. She recognised your black bikini instantly. You were a beautiful woman, something that was more a fact than a personal preference, and you could wear a trash bag and make it look fashionable, but there was something about you in black that took Misa's breath away. She'd willed her eyes to look at anything but you when you'd walked out of the house with that small bikini clinging to your warm and sunkissed body. It felt wrong to stare at you and your curves and simultaneously have her mind filled with thoughts that were anything but platonic. Even if she didn't daydream about tearing the thing off of you, since she willed herself to never let her crush get to that point, it still felt weird to see you in a state of such... undress. As if she wasn't meant to see you like that. As if she was being rude to you, and to your girlfriend by extension, by staring at you nearly naked when she had this massive crush on you. It filled her with guilt. It also made her feel incredibly silly, seeing as all the girls wore close to nothing either and some even paraded through the secluded backyard in nude to work on their tan.

"I'm sorry, I was feeling ill so I took a shower and went to bed early."

Misa quickly whirled around when she heard a door open inside the house.

"I know, I'm sorry. I should've told you. I'm... feeling better now, though?"

Your soft voice muttered and approached. She could hear the stuffiness in your nose and it pained her. Quickly, she opened the sliding doors and slid outside.

"I really am sorry, baby. No, Carmen, please-"

A sudden urgency shimmered through in your tone, and Misa walked over to the edge of the backyard to sit down on a lounger, hoping she would blend in behind the greenery of the many potted plants in the dark of night. She cursed herself, however, when the sliding doors opened further and you walked out, pacing the tiles near the pool as you nibbled on your bottom lip, your figure lit up by the warm lights of the porch.

"Please, trust me. We were out on the sea all day, then went to a restaurant, had drinks, took a van back and then I went to take a shower. Then I went straight to bed."

"Because I forgot to set an alarm for our phone call- Yes, I forgot the one this morning as well. I was in the pool. Well, I didn't answer your texts because my head was killing me. I hadn't even looked at my phone. No, I wasn't ghosting you. I texted you I was ill. That wasn't some excuse. I was actually asleep before you called. I'm good, by the way."

"My sisters and her teammates. Some have girlfriends, yes, what's that to do with anything, Carmen? No, just because they're also into women doesn't mean there's a higher risk of me cheating with them, are you insane? Do you actually hear yourself?" Your voice rose, and Misa hated how she was hearing parts of your private conversation. She shouldn't be there, she didn't want to be there, she didn't even want to know what you were dealing with. That was your business, and she felt like an intruder. But she couldn't disappear back inside without having to pass you, and she also didn't want to get up and leave to give you space and then see the uneasiness on your face knowing that she'd heard some of your phonecall.

"I know we're going through a rough patch, but I wouldn't cheat. Ever. Not even if you were horrible to me and I were surrounded by groups of women who lust after me- No?! Goddamn, Carmen, it was just a rhetorical thing to- Lust is not important to me. Love is. And you- you... give me that... Listen-"

She could hear the despair in your voice, as if you were dangling above a cliff and feeling your grip loosen on the rope keeping you from falling.

"Like I said— Ale, Alba, Jenni and- No, no. God, why am I even indulging your insecurities? Especially when you're like this-"

"Why I'm having an attitude? Carmen, do you hear yourself? I'm sorry, but I can't talk to you when you're like this. It's like trying to soothe a wailing baby on a plane, it's useless."

And, immediately after, "I-I shouldn't... I shouldn't have said that."

It was quiet for a good while, and Misa hoped you had ended the call and disappeared back into your room. Then she heard the quiver in your voice.

"That's... that really hurt my feelings. Why would you say that?"

You had sounded so small, but she could hear you were trying your best to stay tough. Then it was quiet again. Misa glanced over her shoulder, watched how you'd taken a seat on the steps leading back up to the house and had wrapped an arm around yourself as if it was the only thing still keeping you from breaking down.

"Carmen, I'm going to hang up now. I fear that whatever I say will only be fuel to whatever fire you're wanting to light. You've already made your mind up. You're- We're clearly on edge and I'd rather have this conversation face to face and when we're not in our feelings or say stuff we don't mean. Are you okay with that?"

Misa hated that idea. If the girl could get you so distraught over the phone, she didn't want to imagine what it would be to have her in front of you, accusing you of whatever she thought you'd done. Though Misa had always thought of you as a strong woman, how else could you, being raised by one, you clearly were on the brink of breaking now.

"It's okay, love. It's okay. I forgive you. I'm sorry I made you feel that way. I'm so sorry. I know I shouldn't have. Yes, I promise. I know, I don't want to fight either. We'll fix things, like we said. No. I-I... love you, too. Bye, sweet dreams."

You looked down at your phone after ending the call, then buried your head in your hands, soft sobs drowning in the wind and the soothing buzz of the pool cleaner. You took a deep breath in, hating how it came out all shuddered because of your sobs. You rubbed at your forehead, then pulled at your oversized shirt, massaging the ache you felt beneath it, in your chest. But you couldn't pull yourself out of your misery by your lonesome self. You needed to, you knew that. Your heart ached harder when you realised the next few days would be filled with dread of what was to come once you'd return home.

Misa watched as you stood up, the red blob of one of Alexia's old FC Barçelona training jerseys disappearing behind the glass doors of the house. When she heard it click shut, she let out the biggest breath she'd ever held.

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

Misa remembered that week very well. How she’d hated the remainder of it and would’ve been better off taking the next flight home instead of having to look at you and know you were hurting. How obvious it was that your sudden silence wasn't because you couldn't stay away longer than a week from your girlfriend without missing her, but how much you dreaded and counted down the days until you saw her again. But perhaps she'd cheated when coming to that conclusion the second she'd overheard your phonecall. She couldn't blame your sisters for not catching onto your act when you were so good at masking. Well, not good enough to push through and smile as if nothing happened, but good enough to get the job done either way.

Misa hated having the inner dilemma with herself wether to approach you and confess of hearing the conversation, and offer you some comfort perhaps. Or if she should take her worries to the one person who would protect you with her life. But was it really her place to decide wether she should rope Alexia into your relationship issues? No, it wasn’t. It had all reminded her how bad it was to have had a crush on you in the first place. If she hadn’t had one, she wouldn’t have been attached enough to care more than she should. She would have felt bad about it a little, sympathise, and then just… let it go. Deal with her own love life, or lack thereof. But she couldn’t. She wanted to see you smile again, and not the fake ones. But wanting that, she couldn’t deny, was for a selfish reason as well. And she had been even more distant with you after the incident. Showing up beside you in silent comfort would surely raise suspicion. You were a clever and observant woman. She knew that. And she knew that you knew that her eyes flit to you more than necessary, after having been caught multiple times.

So, she decided to not go over into action beside praying every night that things would get better for you. That you would work things out with your girlfriend, with this Carmen, who you clearly loved enough despite the issues in your relationship, and to work through them with her. Even if she hated no longer hearing your laughter through the splashing of water as you'd dunk Alba below the surface or see you dance and let loose or watch you awe at the old woman making balloon figures for the kids on the boulevard. But when she’d seen you get playfully pushed between your sisters in your seat on the airplane when you’d all taken a picture to send to your mother, and that broad smile had come out which she'd assumed matched the same adorable childlike glee of your younger self, Misa had hoped it was the start of better days coming. That whatever had happened in Ibiza had just been an unfortunate course of events. And that whatever she'd seen during Alexia's birthday party had just been bad timing, as well.

So when Mapi had asked, months later, how her favourite Putellas was doing and Alexia had turned stoic and waved the subject off with a scowl, Misa knew something had gone terribly wrong. Usually, the oldest Putellas sister would speak with so much joy in her eyes whenever her little sister was brought up. The fact she refused to talk about you at all, worried them. Including Misa, who was listening from her cubby while taping her fingers.

“But she’s still going out with us after camp, right?”

Alexia rubbed at her furrowed brows, rummaging through her bag and looking anywhere but up in the eyes of her friends, “She'll be at the match, but that's all. I don’t think she's tagging along.”

Jenni perked up, looking defeated and confused at the same time, “Why not? She’s fun to have around, and I’ve missed her.”

“I don’t want her there.” Alexia’s response was blunt, harsh even, and the suddenty of it shifted the energy of the conversation.

“Okay… that’s- well, what happened?” Jenni butted in from her cubby, and Misa perked her ears, tearing the tape around her fingers in half with her teeth.

“Nothing.”

“Alexia.”

“I don’t want to talk or even think about it.”

“So instead you’ll leave us worried and let us speculate on our own?” Mapi huffed, clearly not liking how all kinds of scenarios flitted through her mind.

Alexia's face set in stone as she glared at them, eyes brimming with tears, “Not here.”

“Okay… that… that doesn’t sound good.”

“Can you at least tell us if she’s okay?”

Alexia's head hung low as she tied her cleats, and she muttered, “She isn’t, not mentally... or emotionally.”

“Then why not let her tag along? A fun night out sounds exactly like what she needs.” Jenni immediately held up her hands at the glare Alexia directed her way as soon as she'd spoken.

“No, it’s not. It’s not the right environment for her.”

“Because!?” Mapi hurried out in a whisper, realising this was not a conversation to be held in a filled locker room.

“I said not now!”

Jenni and Mapi sat back, defeated, and from her side of the room, Misa felt an immense wave of worry settle in her stomach. She had the desperate need to do something... anything, but what could she do when she was confined to watch from the sidelines?

⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ⋆*·ﾟ

unnoffical first part of the 'as the flowers bloom, my heart does too' fic!! i hope you like it <3

#misa rodriguez x reader #woso x reader #misa rodriguez one shot #woso imagine

248 notes · View notes

wheredidhiseyebrowsgo · 8 months

Note

POPULAR DEREK SIMPING FOR NERD STILESSS (please <333)

Sure thing!

Come Along Because I Love Your Face by cardel

(1/1 I 1,035 I General)

Derek doesn’t mean to stare, he knows it’s rude but he can’t seem to help it. The guy has been talking to his circle of friends for the better part of the lunch period and they’re all listening, riveted, just like Derek.

Hot Nerd Alert by alisvolatpropiis

(1/1 I 4,537 I Not Rated)

Derek can't believe he's actually doing this: taking a selfie snap of the guy he’s been crushing on for weeks to prove to Danny that one, yes, he really does exist, and two, he really is that hot and thus he is totally justified in being too scared to make a move.

Or you know, even talk to the guy outside of the class they share.

In his defense, this isn’t just any guy. This THE guy. Hot Nerd. The utterly adorable but still somehow insanely sexy freshman in his twentieth century American Lit class who he’s been lusting over since the first day of the semester. If there were ever a time for him to be that person who tries to be subtle while taking snaps of other people, this is it.

Game On by stilinskisparkles

(1/1 I 6,391 I Teen)

Derek first sees him from across the quad four days into fall semester. He’s sitting on one of the long benches, a marker pen in his mouth, grinning at something the kid lounging on the bench beside him is saying. When he laughs properly he pulls the pen out and throws his head back, his neck a long, lean line Derek is entranced by. He flicks the page in his book and highlights something, tossing the cap up in the air and catching it with his teeth.

Playing Hard To Get by stereksterek

(3/3 I 6,911 I Not Rated)

“Is that your best pick-up line?”

Derek was taken aback by the blatant call-out from his clearly intelligent mate, but if anything it just made him grin.

“I can do better.”

“Then why would you start with something that wasn’t your best? Maybe you’re not really that interested in me and could go and reflect on that somewhere else?”

Before Derek could refute his mate’s doubt with all the ferocity of his wolf, Stiles turned back to the bookshelf and continued searching for the book he'd been looking for. Apparently his mate wanted to play hard to get, but that was fine with Derek. He didn’t mind a challenge.

“Trust me. No one could be more interested in you than me.”

living in a movie i've watched by thoughtsandthings

(13/13 I 20,995 I Teen)

Stiles scrambles to his feet and holds his hand over his heart like he’s about to recite the Pledge of Allegiance. “I solemnly swear I will try my damnedest to woo the crap out of Derek Hale.”

Scott laughs and tosses a couch pillow at his head. “Deal."

Stiles and Scott shake on it.

But Then What... by Stoney

(3/3 I 24,343 I Explicit)

Senior year is almost over, and all Stiles needs to do is keep his head down to survive. A teacher calls in a favor, leaving him stuck tutoring Derek Hale, one of the most popular jocks in school and a member of a group of douchecanoes who have bullied Stiles for years. He's someone Stiles totally hates. Totally. Like, doesn't like him even a little bit. DEFINITELY isn't attracted to him.

Except that is a total lie. Fuck his life, seriously.

#teen wolf #sterek #stiles stilinski #derek hale #high school au #nerd!stiles #jock!derek #anon

603 notes · View notes

itscherrylipsforme · 8 months

Text

Paper cuts and cheek kisses: Minho tmr x Med jack!fem!reader

Summary: Minho was never one to go the med jacks' cabin often. On the contrary actually, you had to drag him into it whenever he got hurt in order to patch him up. Oh girl, but things changed when you two started dating, and now he comes up with the silliest excuses just to see your face. At least being his fave med jack means some special treatment

Warnings: None, except that Minho is madly in love and reader is slightly sarcastic (got it from her mother, aka me)

Requested: yes

Words: Around 1300

Author's rambles: As someone who had the biggest crush on Minho growing up (Who I want to fool with this? I still do) and who imagined her role in the Maze would be med jack this request was so cute to write. Hope you like it!

Masterlist Characters I write for

Likes and reblogs are appreciated ღ

I do not authorize any of my works to be copied, translated or plagiarized ✗

Everyone needed to prove their worth in the maze, from the youngest and oldest boys to you, the only girl. And being honest, your passed that test with excellent marks. Living in a place full of the most stubborn and reckless shanks you have ever known (not that you remembered meeting anyone before them, but that was not the point) proving that you were strong enough wasn’t a choice, but a need. However, most of them shown them a new kind of strength they hadn’t seem until then. The strength you used to calm Chuck down when he was crying during his first night in the glazeThe strength which was necessary to always be the one who introduced first to new greenies, to do it with a sincere smile as saying “Yeah, this place is a clunk, but it’s our clunk. Our place”. The same one that helped you become a med-jack.

You loved your role, somehow you were really good at it as the girl you were before being trapped there had some knowledge about it. But you would be lying if you said it didn’t have its downsides, one of them being… Well, him.

“Minho, slinthead, go to the med-jack's cabin right now. That cut doesn’t look good” you demanded as soon as you saw him on the gardens talking with Newt after he came back from the maze.

“Nice to see you too, princess” That condescending pet names he used on you, you swear one day your eyes would fall from your face just because of the times you had rolled them. Since your first day you had to deal with his teasing (not flirting, as you had corrected Newt when he asked about it once) “And don’t worry, Clint and Jeff already saw it and told me it was fine as long as I cleaned today in the shower”

“Clint and Jeff only let you get away with no treating any of your wound properly because they are scared you will fight them if they said otherwise” You crossed your arms “Unfortunately for you, you don’t have the same effect on me. To the cabin, now. I will be the one who binds it”

“You are lucky I can’t say no to you, darling” He started following you towards the med-jack’s, not without smiling sheepishly first.

Sitting in the hammock, Minho looked at your face as you gently rubbed a cotton soaked in iodine. So focused on your work and yet so beautiful, he thought to himself. He was enjoying the view, but your words snapped him from his thoughts.

“Can I ask why the hell you never want us to see your injuries?”

“Pretty girl, you are smart, way more than me, but you don’t get me. It’s not that I don’t want you to do your job, I have my reasons for it” He smirked, if he wasn’t so stupid sometimes you would admit he looked handsome right now.

“Please, enlighten me” You turned around to look for the necessary equipment to patch him up.

“Do you know that before you arrived, I never protested when it came to the med-jacks? That Clint or Jeff would treat me, and I wouldn’t utter a word?”

“If that is your way of saying that I am bad at my job, you should be more careful. Do I have to remind you that I am the one here who has a scalpel nearby?”

You were so done with his shit, if you remembered right there was a phrase that said something like “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you” and same way he shouldn’t annoy the person who was responsible for his health. The scalpel thing was a joke, more or less, but you were starting to rethink it.

“Not really darling” He chuckled, and you found yourself liking the sound of it “Maybe I just convinced Clint and Jeff to wait to heal this because I knew you wouldn’t want me to be injured. So, you would take me then and I would get to spend some time with my favourite med-jack”

“You are unbearable” And you were completely sure you mean what you said, but you couldn’t bring yourself not to smile at his silly plan “Please, tell me you didn’t get the cut just to see me” You asked while wrapping his strong (Were you thinking about that right now? Really?) arm with the bandage.

“You shouldn’t think too low of me, y/n” He shook his head “The injury was an accident, Newt came up with the plan when he saw it on the Garden”

“I knew that you couldn’t come up with all of that on your own” You smirked and stared at him. Had his eyes always been that deep or was the light that passed through the windows what made them look like that? “By the way, the patch up is done, just be sure you don’t drench it and come her to change it every two days until it scars. I would also recommend that you take a day off running, but you would ignore me anyway, and I won’t waste my saliva”

“You look really good when you are mad at someone, has anyone ever told you that?” He blurted out, not even thinking it twice, and he was surprised when instead of telling him to fuck off you blushed. Neither of you had expected it. You needed a few seconds to recover your mind and your ability to speak.

“Whatever, you can go now” You hadn’t realized how close you had been to him until then “Come on, what are you expecting? A good job sticker or something?”

“I have a better plan in mind” Another smirk, his hands guiding yours to rest on his shoulders, his comfortably around your waist. His face coming closer to yours, threatening to close the gasp… Woah, you had to admit that this bastard was handsome. And finally, his lips on yours. Slightly nervous at first, as he was afraid you would pull away at any given moment. Then sweet turning more and more passionate by seconds.

News always flied in the glaze, you two being “a thing” now was not. an exception. By the time the next bonfire arrived, no one, not even the greenie, wasn’t aware of it. Newt was glad, Minho had been rambling about you way too long and he couldn’t stand it anymore. Alby was a little bit angry, his rules had been broken again after all, but that was something you could deal with later. Minho was over the moon. You finally assumed that the line between annoyance and love is really thin. But there were two people who weren’t so happy about it…

“Here he comes again” Clint claimed as he saw a familiar tall and dark-haired boy entering the cabin.

“What happened this time?” Jeff asked as he placed some liquids on the shelves “Did he touch some poison ivy? Or did he catch a cold?” Being honest, they were growing tired of your Minho coming over with some stupid excuse to see you.

“A paper cut thanks to the map’s room, actually” He answered as he came closer to the desk where you were writing down the inventory before the next box arrived. “Afternoon, princess”

“Afternoon you too, my lovely clumsy bastard” You joked, placing a soft kiss on his lips

“Y/n, we will be running off band-aids if you keep putting one on your boyfriend every time he wants to see you” Clint protested as Jeff faked to be throwing up because of your small gestures of affection.

“Fine, a get-well kiss will be enough I guess” Minho accepted, and you wasted no time and kissed his cheek.

The rest of the med-jacks were more than annoyed with him, but he didn’t seem to care. After all, you were his favorite med-jack, the only one whose opinion mattered to him.

#minho tmr x reader #miho x reader #the maze runner #minho x y/n #minho tmr x y/n

366 notes · View notes

ultralightpoe · 11 months

Text

Spellbound Part 2 - Geralt of Rivia

Authors Note: Sorry it took so long, I just really had no clue how to do the first part justice

Word Count: 3,876

Warnings: reader is a brothel worker

Description:Part two to the first. FIRST PART HERE

Enjoy!

There were many times in Geralt's life where he felt an undeniable rage, and there were many times that he let that rage affect him until he was forced to suffer the consequences of all his actions. He had learned over the years that there were ways of handling his rage, there were ways of dealing with sadness and pain.

He had been through so much, and yet he stood, and he always told himself that it would be worth it. Soon enough he would find something that would make it all worth it, and he had found that in you.

Your soul matched his in a way he never thought possible, and though you didn’t have the same physical scars you had both been through more than you can imagine. And he always found himself gravitating to you, the one person in the world that he felt never judged or expected anything from him.

Sure, he obviously did not know how to deal with this. He never knew how to talk to you, what to say and when to say it, and he really did not know how to seem casual just as Jaskier always could. Not to mention he was constantly worried about losing you. He felt like a flame, loving something so much and trying to engulf it into warmth only for it to burn and vanish.

You had been through so much, he never wanted you to burn and he couldn’t imagine a life without you.

So, even if he couldn’t show emotion or manage to properly show his love, he allowed Jaskier to grow close to you. Geralt made sure that you were physically safe, warm and fed. It was the least he could do.

He never wanted to leave you wanting for anything, and he desperately tried to find ways to show you yet nothing ever worked.

But then you were his, for one small moment he had you and he felt as though everything was worth it again. He would burn the world down for you, slay any monster and batter any mortal. It was all yours for the taking…

Until you burned.

How ironic, how hard he fought to keep you at arms length only to lose the battle in a split moment, and be proven right just like that.

Now you were gone.

He knew exactly where you were, had already tried to get you, only to be stopped at the door each time. Each time he was stopped he wanted to crush their skulls, storm up to wherever they were keeping you and try to explain.

He would drag you out the door himself just to make sure you never had to do this again. But there were laws, as well as contracts. He would never be allowed to see you unless he could pay the fee, and you would never be allowed to leave unless you could buy out your contract.

If he managed to get to you and help you escape there would still be the hassle of everyone hunting you down, and word spreads from town to town quickly when it comes to Witchers.

“How much?” He growls, keeping his eyes narrowed in on the older woman before him, watching her lean back on her chair and fix her dress. She was unlike any other brothel owner he had come across, the others always had a protective notion for the girls. This one seemed vindictive in every word she spoke.

“Witcher, I have told ye the last 4 times ye have been here that she is not for sale.” She laughs, reaching a foot out to kick the pouch of gold he had laid on the table in front of her. Her dress rides up exposing a very scarred leg, and his stomach tightens at the atrocities you must be going through with this hag and any man she rented you out to. “Y/n is the emerald of all brothels, before she came upon mine she was already widely known for her beauty, not to mention her time with the Witcher? Men are practically killing themselves to have a moment with her. I stand to make more keeping her than I ever would selling her back to you.”

“Her contract-”

“Has another 4 years under my roof. By the end of that I could be far far away from this continent. Don’t you understand?” She leans forward, knocking the satchels down and watching all the gold pieces fall on the ground.

That had been 4 months work, 4 months of Geralt working himself to the bone and saving up in a chance to save you. He hadn’t eaten properly or slept more than 2 hours a night in that span of time.

Images flash through his mind, him ringing this wenches neck in or slamming her head into the fire. Maybe he could slice her head off in one clean motion.

But he doesn’t, because he understands the consequences. So he bites his tongue and stands straighter. “I just want to see her-”

“Then you pay, just as everyone else.” The Madame sneers, leaning across the table. “I don’t give a fuck if you love her witcher, though I don’t believe you are even capable of that, my rules stay the same. You want to see her then you pay for her time.”

He leans forward, smirking a bit when her attitude drops in fear for a moment, before tilting his head. “Then how fucking much?”

“I really do not believe you were worth 230 gold pieces-” Lord Servail huffs, struggling to shove himself back into his trousers. You struggled not to roll your eyes as you sat up, pulling the sheet to cover yourself and looking at the floorboards of the raggedy room.

You had learned that the men of this village did not like to be watched, most of them married and most of them carrying guilt. You had merely assumed Lord Servail to be the same.

“Have you nothing to say, whore?” He bellows, walking across the room to grab at your chin. A moment of panic sinks in, one hand holding the sheet tight while the other grabs at his wrist in an attempt to free yourself.

“I do not understand what you mean, sir-”

“You are boring! You just laid there like a fucking corpse-”

“That didn’t seem to stop you from finishing within a minute-” The slap sounds out and for a second you wonder what he hit, then you open your eyes and feel the stinging on your cheek to realize it had been you.

A bitter laugh slips past your lips as you taste the iron.

Blood trails down past your lips as tears spring up in your eyes, the sheets under you stained and ripped from the past month. You think of Geralt in this moment, wishing that you were near him even if he ignored you.

There had always been a calming factor to the witcher that you never understood, maybe it was a feeling of safety or maybe you just liked that he never showed much anger. He took anything that affected him and made a rational judgment.

He was a man of trust, and he had never let anything harm you. Sure he yelled at you when he thought you stupid, and made condescending remarks, but you never felt as though he would lay a hand on you.

“Is that all?” You sniffle, reaching a hand up to stop the blood as he steps back. The man stares at you before yelling out and storming out of the room, shirt untied as well as the trousers. You hear him yelling at your Madame before he leaves and you move over to the basin in the corner to clean yourself off.

You clean your nose before moving to clean your legs, letting the tears fall freely as you hear her heels come down the hall.

“You’ve just cost yerself yer pay, I’ll tell you that much.” Madame snaps, the door swinging hard enough to make the wall shake as she marches in. “I told ye that Lord Servail was a valued client and you-”

“Smiled pretty and let him cum. He really didn’t complain much until it came time to pay.” You snark, watching her face pull up. “Have I any news? Anyone come to see me?”

It had been a month, and you had kept hoping that maybe Geralt or Jaskier would come to see you. At least try to get you back, but nothing. No letters, no visits, nothing.

“Yer Witcher isn’t comin for ya’. So I suggest you fix yerself up and get back to work.” The Madame snarls, tossing the silk robe at you before storming back out.

That lonely feeling that clung to you the day you left never seemed to fade, it folds in around you now as you pull into yourself. Knees hugged to your chest as you hide your face and cry.

Truly what did you expect? That he would come pounding on the door? Try to save you? The salty taste of the tears mixes in with the iron as you sob. You had been foolish, so very foolish.

Geralt must be at least 6 towns away by now, barely even thinking of you.

“I am terribly sorry to inform ye, Witcher, that my emerald is stacked up for the next week and a half.”

“Bullshit.”

She snarls at him, standing quickly and snatching a heavy book from the desk behind her before slamming it on the table. “Take a fucking look then.”

He doesn’t waste a moment, snapping through the pages one by one until he reaches your ledgers. Your handwriting is at the top, neat and clean from the ink, dated that day you dashed from the tavern.

The very same day he had raced over here to see you.

The day after he had you in his arms.

The memory of it flashes through him, the way he snatched you like a caveman. He tries to reason with himself that he believed it to be consensual, that he hadn’t realized you were under a spell. But it didn’t matter.

He treated you in a way he swore to himself he never would, and he made you so uncomfortable that you ran.

Bile rises in his throat as embarrassment and guilt claw through him, he snaps through your pages to see dozens of signatures on each page. “You have her seeing twelve clients each day?”

“This is a busin-”

“Is she eating enough? Sleeping enough? Are you giving her proper time to rest?”

“I’m not a fucking babysitter-”

“If you are abusing your contract then she has a right to leave!”

She stares at him, watching for a moment with wide eyes as her cheeks go red. Then she fixes herself, clearing her throat before shouting out loud. “BOYS!” He doesn’t fight it as they grab both of his arms, instead he lets them carry him to the door and throw him to the mud below.

“Guessing she didn’t take it?” Jaskier asks, watching Geralt pick himself up, checking to make sure he still had the satchel of gold. “Surprise surprise.”

All Geralt could do at this point was grunt, moving towards Roach as the barb fixes his coat.

“I have another job, heard whispers of a screaming creature in the woods not far off from here. Figured you’d want to go out and make more gold so we can do this all again over and over and over.”

“She’s overworking her, I just know it. Not enough time to eat or sleep-”

“Geralt, as much as I love Y/n, I think we need to….evaluate our current situation.”

“I NEED TO -”

“Get to her. I know. I’m not saying anything otherwise. I just want you to think about whether you want her to see you like this.”

“I want to see her safe.”

“And Y/n would want the same of you. Besides, we obviously have no power against the brothel system.”

“I have fought countless beasts-”

“And I am still your only friend. It’s time you admit it Witcher, humans aren’t your best expertise.”

If this was any other moment Geralt would ignore him, hop onto Roach and pretend the worm didn’t exist. But he was tired, so tired he truly didn’t think he could even climb onto the horse.

“Then what do you suggest?”

“First? Sleep. Then? We find an outside source.”

Two months in and winter had finally come.

You found yourself huddling together with Snae, a brothel worker that had been here a little longer than you, but hadn’t been that much older. This had been the first night you both had off this entire time, and it hadn’t been a purposeful thing.

There had been a ball in the village, apparently a beast had been slaughtered and most of the nobles and rich men left in their carriages far away. Which meant you were free to huddle close to your friend for warmth as you tried to fight off the winter air.

“I imagined this brothel warmer.” She sniffles, pressing her forehead to your arm as you shiver. “I was told this was one of the best-”

“It is….. To their guests.” You laugh, tired and aching. Honestly you could barely move, and you hadn’t managed to make it at dinner hour since you had been with a client. But Snae was nice enough to sneak you in a roll of bread.

“I want to get out of here.” She admits in a quick breath, and you can’t help but smile at the admission.

You had often imagined ways you would escape, but the truth was you had nowhere to go and no one to leave for. What would you have if you left here? Nothing.

So instead you close your eyes, and lean into her as you whisper. “Where would you go?”

“Home. To find my sister.”

“You have a family?”

“A little sister, it’s why I am here. I wanted to make sure she had something to pay for food.” Something tears at your chest, and within a moment you think of a plan.

“Then let’s get you out of here.”

It takes a mere 30 minutes to pack her a travel pack using a sheet from the bed, rushing to your room to pick up the floorboard where you keep the little pay you make, 10 silver coins. Tossing them in her satchel before tiptoeing to the attic where the largest window was.

“Shhh.” You whisper when she slips, the wood beneath her scraping under her shoe. Helping her stand before moving to the window. Unlatching it was easy, the winter air covering both of you in a moment. “You swill slide from this section to the next. Until you make it to that tree.”

“You go first.”

“I am not coming.” You laugh, clearing some of the snow from the sill.

“You must.”

“No, I have nothing. Besides, one of us needs to stay and give you time.”

“Y/n-”

“If she begins hunting you then go and find the witcher. Do you hear me?”

“He wouldn’t help someone like me.” She laughs, and you merely stare at her.

“I think you would be surprised of just how good of a person the Witcher is, though he likes to pretend he is not.”

“What should I say to him if I must find him?”

“That the Geralt I know would keep you safe. Now go.”

You help her climb up the sill and onto the roof, watching her slide down in the flimsy robe Madame forces you to wear and make sure she makes it to the tree safely before closing the window.

You allow yourself one moment to press your forehead against the cold glass of it, your breath hitting the glass to form a smudge. You imagine escaping yourself, maybe going out to find Jaskier.

But that was unrealistic.

And you were obviously unwanted.

“Please, it’s very important-” A strong female voice fills the air as Geralt breathes in the scent of roast and ale. There was also smoke from the fires but he was far too hungry to admire that scent on it’s own. “They said that he was here and-”

“First round of ale on me.” Jaskier sings out, moving to the counter as Geralt rolls his eyes. Jaskier was carrying his gold sack so truly the first round was on him.

He was six villages away from you right now, landing at a cheap tavern for the night before they set up camp. They were here to listen for jobs.

The plan, as terrible as it was, had been to travel to find Yennefer and along the way they would earn some extra gold. That way when they go they can send the witch in to make the deal, or at least pretend to make the deal as she can try to sneak you out.

It was a terrible plan……. Because it was Jaskiers plan.

“Please, I need to find the witcher.” That draws Geralt's attention away from the hearth he had been glaring into, head whipping to spot the young woman clutching the shoulders of a little girl as she begs the man once more. “If you could just tell me where he would be staying-”

“Witchers aren’t allowed in the fucking taverns here, so shut yer trap before I put it to work-.” Before Geralt could stop himself his hand is shooting out, catching the man by the back of the neck. At his movement the hood he had been wearing falls and the people around him all quiet down.

The womens eyes fall to him, widening. “You are just as Y/n described.”

Something tightens in his chest at the mention of your name, and he finds himself nodding to Jaskier to lead the girl outside. The air hits him, the warmth gone but there was nothing that would hinder him from the conversation.

“You know Y/n?” His voice is rough, the heat traveling his skin hiding him from the cold. The woman's eyes are filled with tears and the young girl is shoving her face in the smallest scrap of dress he had seen, so in one quick moment he rips his hood off to hand to them. “Is that what you wear in this cold?” “Please, I… I’m from the same brothel as Y/n and she helped me escape. All my money has gone to keeping my sister warm….. Y/n said that you would help. She said the Geralt she knew would help.”

“Where is she?” His heart is thundering through his ribcage at this point, and he can see Jaskier emerging from the tavern. “Did she make it-”

“She didn’t come.”

“Why?”

“Probably scared she wouldn’t make it out. Or might believe she is all alone and has nothing to escape for.” The feminine voice makes Geralt jump through his skin. Suddenly she is there, smelling of smoke and lavender.

“Yennefer.” Jaskier gasps, but Geralt hadn’t needed him to let him know.

“Tell me, Geralt of Rivia, about the woman who broke the witcher.”

You were no longer tired at this point, truly you were nothing.

You didn’t speak, missed more meal times than not from being stuck with clients and at this point you didn’t seem to care. You were just breathing, and that was as much energy as you can muster.

Three months into this place had truly broken you.

Yennefer thought this place smelled of urine and death, and though she respected the females brave enough to work here she had absolutely no fucking clue why any man would risk stepping in here.

One look at the young girl passing her with a bruise on her cheek told her all she needed to know. The men that came here didn’t care about anything but getting themselves wet and letting off some steam.

“I have a room upstairs, I charge 50 a month in rent, half your earnings are to the house and the rest belong to you.” A voice sounds out, drawing Yennerfers attention away from the young girl with the bruise, back to the raggedy woman sitting at the counter.

“Excuse me?”

“I have a room for ye-”

“I’m not here for a room. I’m here for a girl.”

“Really?”

Yennefer slaps 2 gold coins onto the counter, a smirk crossing her face as the woman's eyes widen in greed. “I was told you had an emerald here.”

“You’re here for Y/n….only problem there is it’s double for her time.” Yennefer sighs, taking out one more coin and slapping it down. “I said double.”

“And I am willing to go and tell the town that your girls are sick.”

“What do you want with Y/n?”

“I figured you wouldn’t need me to explain how your business works but if you need a lesson in fucking then you would have to pay ME double.”

“She is in the top room. Don’t bother knocking.” And just like that Yennefer is moving, picking up her skirts to walk up the steps, trying not to breathe in the smells as she reaches your room.

Just as the brothel worker said she doesn’t bother knocking, and it was clear why when she walked in.

The beauty Geralt had described last night was still there, just one look and even Yennefer was nearly at a loss for words. But the spark, the light of you was gone. You stared at the wall before you, empty and gone.

“Y/n?” She calls, closing the door behind her. “Y/n…”

“I can’t….she said I’d have a day.” You sob, pulling into yourself.

“You’ll have more than a day, I can promise that.” Yennefer smiles, moving closer slowly. “Your witcher has sent me.”

“My witcher?” There it was, some of that spark. “He’s gonna be mad at me.”

“Now that I can swear on. Come.”

Geralt stood pacing back and forth on the pathway as he waited for Yennefers portal to open, his heart in his throat and his eyes glued to the space before him.

Jaskier waited at the inn they had found with the girl you had saved, Snae. But for now it would just be him waiting for Yennefer, far enough from the town that they would have a head start if anyone went looking for you whilst the rest would cause a stir and send them on a chase.

They had learned from Snae that Madame had sent a bounty out on her, so Geralt could only imagine what she would do to you. ‘Her emerald’.

Then it was there, forming like a cloud at first until it got bigger and bigger until it began showing like a mirror.

Then Yennefers hand came through and Geralt found himself launching forward as she stepped through, both arms wrapped around…..you.

He was there, his hands on you as soon as he could, keeping you upright as Yennefer lets go. “Y/n.”

“Please don’t be mad.” You whisper.

“What has she done to you…..”

Part 3 on October 30th

@sagelovesreading

@lashipperrubia @freyafriggafrey @cookielovesbook-akie @whatishappeninghere81 @livesinfantasyland @multiifandomhoe @amara-75 @unfxrgetwble @vlynccx @redlovett @yorkeylover @mxtokko @readinggirl29 @mollymal @fullmoonshadowwrites @rileytwenty @glasschampagne @caffieneaddictt18 @kittiowolf210 @purple-blommie @abrunettefangirlnerd @babezawa

889 notes · View notes

hotchsprincess · 1 year

Text

hi besties!!! it’s @greg-montgomery and i’m gonna be posting some of my stuff on this blog until my other blog gets fixed (if it ever happens lmfao)!!! 🥰

anyway! aaron is a clingy bitch rights!!!!!!

♡ ♡ ♡ ♡

No matter how tired someone might be, sleeping for the first time next to their crush can make their sleep come a bit slower; especially when said crush is their boss who they have never held eye contact with for more than two seconds at a time, because it gets too much.

That’s how you justify laying awake at 3 am, staring at the ceiling, while Hotch next to you has been snoring like there’s no tomorrow for hours now.

You turn to your side so you can properly look at him. He’s laying on his stomach, his pillow is squeezed by his strong arms, his mouth is slightly open, and the skin between his eyebrows is less wrinkled than usual. It makes you smile.

If one person in the world deserves a good night’s sleep, then that person is Aaron Hotchner.

The urge to reach out and trace his eyebrows with your thumb or mess with his hair overcomes the shyness you always feel around him. He’s asleep after all, so he’d never know, right? But the moment you slightly raise your hand form the mattress, Aaron shifts in his sleep and his movement makes you freeze. Just a second later, his eyes open and he stares at you confused.

You almost start talking, trying to come up with an excuse as to why you were ready to touch him, only to remember that he saw nothing. Your arm never got to be near him. So why is he staring at you like that?

“Hotch?” you whisper.

He doesn’t respond, instead he softly blinks at you before blessing you with the most beautiful sleepy smile you have ever seen. Aaron is smiling at you and you forget how to breathe.

Before you even have the time to process what is happening, his arms let go of the pillow he’s been holding and one of them is suddenly wrapped around your waist.

What?

As if that’s not enough, his whole body moves close to you – practically on top of you - and his face is buried in your chest. You can feel his smile against you.

Who knew Aaron Hotchner would be such a clingy sleeper?

You’re not sure what you’re supposed to do next; afraid to move or touch him in any way, while he’s wrapped around you like a koala.

“It’s late…” his mumbled words against your t-shirt interrupt your thoughts. “Sleep.”

“I will,” you say back.

Maybe you should do just that. Sleep.

You let one of your hands get lost in his hair as the other rests on his back. Your legs are already intertwined, thanks to him.

A quiet giggle escapes your lips. You press a sweet kiss against the top of his head and whisper to him ‘good night’ before joining him in his blissful sleep.

#aaron hotchner x reader #hotch x reader #aaron hotchner #hotch #criminal minds #hotch 🪐#< i’ll use my tags here too 💞#ask

1K notes · View notes

kitty-tea · 7 months

Text

Teaching the teacher a lesson

Remus Lupin x teacher!reader

Sorry I couldn’t come up with a better title. Also there’s straight up BDSM in this, so don’t read if you’re a minor I guess.

Summary: you get a job as a teacher where you see your old teacher crush, Remus Lupin, and you couldn’t be any happier. He, however notices how much you’ve changed.

Warnings: smut, 18+ only, nsfw, age gap, awkward sexual tension, mutual pining, teacher crush, dacryphilia kink, bdsm elements, dom/sub, teasing

Link to masterlist

The first day of school was just so (not) wonderful for Remus Lupin. He’d give anything to be able to shut himself in his classroom and not have to supervise the cafeteria during lunch.

He awkwardly shifted his weight on both legs as he scanned the room to make sure none of the students misbehaved. Instead of misbehaving students, his eyes landed on you next to a table nearby, having a conversation with the younger kids. You were kneeling down to their level, probably oblivious to how your ass was sticking out in that tight pencil skirt.

Stop it! She’s your former student! He told himself that even though you were an adult, it was still inappropriate for him to have these thoughts about you, but another part of him wouldn’t listen.

Before he transferred to working with the primary school kids, the last time he’d seen you was the year you graduated before going to university.

From what he could remember about you, you were kind of a brat. More than any student, he’d constantly go on about rules you broke whether it was sitting on top of desks (or his desk specifically,) not wearing your uniform properly, not calling him by his last name, and you even threw paper planes at him!

Remus didn’t fail to notice how much you changed after all those years. He couldn’t believe he recognized you. He could see the makeup you wore enhancing your features, and those glasses you liked to ditch were now complimenting your face shape. Instead of your long hair messily hanging past your shoulders, you had it up in a neat high bun, making you look like a sophisticated young woman. He also noticed under your skirt and blouse that you put on a little weight, filling out some curves on your body.

He hoped you did not just catch him involuntarily looking at you as you smiled and waved at him.

“Hi Remus.” Your heels clicked behind you on the polished floor as you walked over to where he was. He cringed at the sound of your voice using his first name. Oh great. You never used to smile at him unless you were in on a prank.

“I didn’t know you taught at this school.” You were standing so close to him that he was able to hear you clearly over the noise of students chattering.

“I transferred after you graduated.” He stated, not returning your smile. He turned towards the students, so that he wouldn’t have to face you.

“What year do you teach?” You asked.

“I teach the youngest students.” He answered. He hoped you’d go away soon so that he could go back to moping in his own thoughts.

“So do I!” You replied a little too happily for his liking. He grimaced at the feeling in his stomach as his eyes met yours. He did not want to think about how they went to your lips which now had lip balm on them instead of them being chapped, along with the perfume you started wearing.

He also wished that what he suspected wasn’t true, that you weren’t supervising lunchtime with him. “What are you doing here?” He asked just to confirm it.

“I’m on lunch duty with you. I feel so much more at ease knowing that I’m coworkers with my old teacher.” You said.

His heart dropped out of his chest.

For the rest of lunch, he spent his time standing in the corner staring off or staying close to the kids, so that it looked like he was busy talking to them and not trying to ignore you (he was.)

Your heart on the other hand, leapt out of your chest as your eyes landed on Mr. Lupin, or Remus as you started calling him. You had the biggest crush on him for years ever since he became your teacher. It’s not like you tried denying your inappropriate attraction towards him by acting out and misbehaving when he was around you in what you now realized was an immature way to get his attention.

You knew you’d gone too far with your antics, so you thought you could redeem yourself in his eyes by starting to act cordial with him on your first day teaching.

You understood that your crush on your former teacher turned coworker definitely didn’t go away as you felt a dull ache and a warm spot forming in your panties.

You were an adult now, it wasn’t technically illegal to flirt with older men, but it was obviously unprofessional for you to flirt with another teacher that used to teach you, and one who was much older than you.

You had known Remus for years. You weren’t clueless. You saw the way his eyes struggled to keep themselves from wandering all over your body. After years of crushing on him, it was exciting for you to see him try to hide his growing attraction towards you as an adult.

After saying goodbye to your students for the day, you went over what you’d say to Remus in your head. You wanted to sincerely apologize to him for all that you put him through in addition to proposing a new start with him, this time as coworkers not student and teacher.

It wasn’t hard for you to find his classroom since it was next to yours and it had “Mr. Lupin Room 3C” written on a card taped to the door.

It didn’t take long for a gruff voice to reply with “come in” muffled by the wood after you knocked on it.

As you opened the door, the familiar feelings of your literal school-girl crush fluttered in your chest.

“What are you doing here?” He didn’t sound angry, just tired.

“I-” your words got stuck in your throat as he looked up from where he sat hunched down behind his desk. He certainly looked older than the last time you saw him before finishing school, but he was no less handsome in your eyes in that brown suit he used to wear when you were his student. Suddenly, you felt like the same immature student again, being asked to explain yourself as you nervously played with the hem of your sleeves.

“I just wanted to say hello.” You tried speaking again.

“You already have. During lunchtime.” You saw him grinding his jaw as his eyes raked over your body. He cleared his throat before standing up to grab his satchel and walk to the door, where you happened to be.

“Okay, I just wanted to say I’m sorry, then.” Your breath hitched in your throat as you realized how close he was standing in front of you. It seemed that you weren’t the only one either. He brushed his fingers through his brown hair, making you wish you could brush your fingers through them instead.

“For what?” He asked bemusedly.

“For being so annoying and giving you a hard time in school. I thought maybe we could start over?” You said hurriedly, blushing and looking at your high heels which were almost touching his loafers.

You bit your lip as you gazed into his eyes, hopeful he’d take up in your proposal. He looked down at your hand which you extended, as if considering the possibility.

“Nice try.” Your mouth hung open at his blank words and you didn’t know what to say.

“Excuse me?” Your hopes for starting a professional and cordial relationship with him were now ruined.

“Apologies are more than just words. You of all people should know that since I was the one who taught you that. Goodbye.” You gave him the same dirty look you used to give him as he turned his back towards you, leaving you alone in his classroom.

That was the first of your interactions with him in that school year. Being two teachers who taught students of the same year, you were often assigned together for most school related activities like yard duty, supervising lunch, and the field trips… you couldn’t stop the dull aching heat between your thighs as you both would have to sit on the same bench on the bus rides.

It was even worse when you were fidgeting in your seat one time, when all the sudden, the bus ran over a huge bump causing you to tumble on top of Remus with his knee under your skirt, between your legs. You had grasped onto his shoulders for stability and he had grabbed your waist when his eyes had widened as he realized where his knee had touched you. You were too frozen to where you couldn’t stop staring at his lips that were close enough to yours that if you leaned in a millimeter more, you’d kiss him.

“Sorry.” You let out an exhale which was interrupted as you realized how good your pussy felt when you rubbed it against his thigh in an attempt to get off of him.

You were thankful that your students were young and innocent enough not to suspect anything, not to jump to conclusions if they saw you in your compromising position.

For the rest of the bus ride, you tried not to think about how your new coworker had accidentally turned you on.

It wasn’t like Remus would ever try to deny your flirting. You knew this because he never actively pushed you away. Every time you’d pass by him, you’d give his shoulder or arm a little brush where you’d catch his hungry gaze on you.

You were alone in the teachers’ lounge, the rest of the staff having gone home already.

Even in heels, you still weren’t tall enough to reach for the folders that were on the top shelf, so you did what anybody would do and positioned yourself on the table so that your knees would hold your weight up.

A shiver went up your spine as you felt a presence behind you.

“Need help?” Remus’ husky voice made its way to your ear.

You were glad your back was turned to him so that he couldn’t see how red your cheeks had gotten. You were also glad that he didn’t wait for you to answer him as he reached above your head, making his weight shift onto your ass where you could’ve sworn you felt a bulge.

“That wasn’t so bad was it?” You could’ve sworn he was smirking behind you as he set the empty folders next to you.

You turned around, hoping that he’d backed up to give you enough space to get off, but what you didn’t expect was for his hands to be on your waist, blocking you.

“What do you say?” He raised his eyebrows at you.

“Thank you.” You put your hand on his shoulder to use as leverage to get yourself down from the table.

“Wow. Seems you aren’t such a brat anymore.” He laughed.

“What does that supposed to mean?” You thought you had grown past your immature teenage self, but apparently you had let Remus get under your skin with his backhanded compliment.

“There she is.” He scoffed. “With that same fucking attitude that did no good. You’re not so high and mighty now just because you’re a teacher.”

You didn’t know if your face was red from anger, embarrassment, or something else.

“Don’t act like I haven’t been nice to you.” You countered back heatedly.

“Too nice.” His voice had gotten lower.

“Anyways,” you tried to ignore the tingling feeling in your stomach that erupted as you saw him gazing at your lips with the lack of distance between you. “I actually tried showing you how much I changed.”

He scoffed again.

“By being nice? You know flirting won’t get you anywhere.”

You realized he just admitted to you straight up that he caught onto your flirting.

“Don’t act as if you haven’t changed the way you used to look at me. I saw you checking me out on the first day of school.” This was your way of probing at him.

“What?! I-”

“It’s okay to stare. I know because I used to do it to you… Not that I stopped.” You purred, running your fingers lightly along his firm chest.

Remus grunted at the pleasurable sensation. You were driving him crazy, and not like how you used to when you were his student. Speaking of which, he kept reminding himself that what he was letting you do to him was unprofessional and inappropriate, but on the other hand, he didn’t want to stop you.

“I’ve always wondered what it’d be like to fuck the hot teacher.” Your lips were so almost touching his earlobe.

“Stop it.” He grabbed your wrists.

“Or else what? How are you gonna punish me?” You licked your lips. “Except you can’t. Because I’m the teacher.”

He realized you had a point as he let go of your wrists.

“How about this? It’s getting late, so I’ll order some food for us.” You suggested. Please say yes. You wished Remus could read your mind.

“You don’t have to do that for me.” He waved you off as he moved to grab his cardigan off the chair.

“Please. It’s the least I could do for you.” Remus felt a sliver of guilt at rejecting your proposal as you looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. “And… I want to.”

After Remus had reluctantly taken up on your offer, you had ordered take out on your phone. By the time the food arrived, you were still fighting over who was going to pay. You insisted you pay because it was your idea and you wanted to do him a favor while he didn’t really have a counterargument other than he really wanted to pay. This led to him shoving cash into the driver’s hands and shutting the door before you had a chance to do anything.

“You did all that with your hands?” You rolled your eyes and laughed while nervously twirling a strand of hair around your finger.

“I can do other things with my hands too.”

Remus was unaware of how suggestive what he said was until you looked from his eyes to his crotch while licking your lips.

“I’d love to know what other things.” You said, making Remus swallow loudly at how low and seductive your voice sounded.

You both ate across the table from each other in an awkward silence, each of you mentally coming up with topics to discuss preferably away from whatever it is you were talking about earlier. Remus needed to find a way to cool down from the sexual tension from earlier.

“How was your life after you graduated?” Remus was the first to talk.

“It was a bit boring really. All I did was study in university, and didn't really go out much.” You said before shoving an entire dumpling in your mouth with your chopsticks. Remus couldn’t control the corner of his mouth as it turned upwards. You looked silly, like a cartoon chipmunk.

“How have you been?” You asked once you had swallowed your food.

“Alright.” He shrugged.

“Really? There’s got to be more. Haven’t you gone on any dates?” Remus’ eyes widened at your inquiries of his relationship status as he felt the tip of your shoes dipping under the hem of his trouser leg.

“No, actually.” He was able to compose himself enough to draw out a steady response as he tried to ignore how much his dick was starting to ache and the fact that he noticed you had taken off your shoe making him feel the soft nylon covering your foot gliding upward.

“That’s a shame. Any woman would be lucky to have you.”

And I want that woman to be me, you thought.

While you enjoyed this little game you were playing with Remus, you didn’t like that it usually led to nowhere. You knew he wanted you as much as you wanted him. It was that obvious. You knew you were terrible at hiding your feelings for someone whenever you had a crush, but this time, with Remus you didn’t care. He wasn’t your teacher anymore, you were both adults, and you were equals. Something sparked within you every time you saw him get flustered around you. You wanted to keep that spark going. Even if it was a boring day where all the students had the day off for professional development day, leaving the school campus occupied by no one but the staff.

In addition to the staff meeting being extremely long, you could tell it was going to be extremely boring even though this was only your first year of teaching at the school.

You cursed yourself for waking up an hour later than you intended to, leaving you barely enough time to do anything other than throw on your clothes. You couldn’t prepare any breakfast for yourself or stop by a cafe, so you were left with lazily braiding your hair on the bus ride while mentally coming up with how you would apologize to everyone.

Clutching your book bag against the side of your body, you swung the door open to the staff room. Multiple eyes met yours, some glaring, others just blank, as if they were expecting you to be the type of young teacher to slack off.

“I’m so sorry I’m late!” You apologized awkwardly as you tucked some hair behind your ear, being afraid to face the older staff whom you thought would silently berate you on your tardiness with their scowls.

“Nothing to worry about.” Your boss, Dumbledore was standing in front of the table with his hands folded in front of him. “Remus was kind enough to save a seat for you.”

True to his word, Remus was sitting next to an empty seat. He was looking at you with a smirk like it was meant only for you to see. You gave him a small nod in acknowledgment as you smoothed out your skirt underneath you and sat down on the chair.

You exhaled a breath you didn’t know you were holding as the meeting resumed. You reached into your book bag and took out your notepad before absentmindedly scribbling down whatever came up that you thought would be important enough for later.

You had no idea how long you’d been writing for when you suddenly became aware of the large hand that was on your knee. You looked to your right, expecting Remus to be glancing at you, but he looked just as bored as half of the people in the room did, looking straight ahead. You had to look down again to make sure it was really the same hand that was connected to his body.

You squeezed your legs together in an attempt to sooth that dull ache that got stronger each time Remus decided to move his hand just a tad higher until you sucked in a breath as you saw it disappear under your skirt. Remus on the other hand looked unfazed as he used his impressive strength to push your legs apart with one hand. It’s not like you were resisting as he rubbed circles along the exposed skin.

You bit your lip as you felt the tip of his calloused finger trace along the lace edge of your panties. You started to squirm in the damp spot that was forming dangerously close to where his fingers were.

It was as if in that moment, every other person in the room beside you and Remus were pushed to the back of your mind. You were still aware of their presence, it’s just that you didn’t care. You still had enough self awareness to try and keep the expression on your face neutral no matter how badly you wanted to scream as you felt the blunt end of Remus’ fingernail teasing the swollen nub above the dampness of the cotton. That overwhelmingly pleasurable sensation he was imposing on you felt so wrong in a place like this and so good. Your mind was in that zone between wanting him to stop and wanting him to keep going. You wondered how the small movements of his fingers could be so precise and so impactful at the same time.

You could feel the pleasure escalating directly onto your clit as you held your breath, desperately hoping no one else at this dreadful meeting was paying attention to you except for Remus. More than anything, you changed your mind and decided you wanted him to continue pleasuring you like this to distract you. You’d have to be quiet, you told yourself.

Being quiet just got harder because you felt his fingers move inside of your panties, coating themselves along your throbbing pussy.

There was no going back for you. You kept your head down, too aware of how red your face had become, as you gripped the armrests of your chair.

Meanwhile Remus continued to rub tight circles on your clit, this time, it was like you felt the grooves of his fingerprint on the oversensitive bundle of nerves, and the experience of having someone else do it to you felt different and so much more exciting than doing it to yourself.

You could tell Remus was experienced as he knew the exact spots to touch you to make you feel like you were on the edge, but not quite over it.

You didn’t have to look at him to know that son of a bitch knew you were hating and loving this moment and what he was doing to you.

“Is she okay?” You heard some of the older teachers ask. You didn’t think they were talking about you, so you chose not to reply.

That was when Remus pulled his fingers out, and with that same hand, he set it on your shoulder. “You alright?” He asked gently. That was when you were brought out of your trance, not realizing how loudly you were panting.

You were mortified when you turned to look at him and could see your juices on his fingers, still wet and glistening under the lighting. You wished your chair would just swallow you up.

You heard Dumbledore chuckle from the front of the room. You thought he was mocking you for not paying attention, but you didn’t care. You wanted to leave, and it looked as if he answered your prayers. “Perhaps the meeting is getting a little too boring for some of us. Not to worry, there is a lunch break coming up.” He said.

Lunch? That’s right. Your stomach started to grumble when you realized you hadn’t eaten anything since waking up, nor did you bring anything to eat. That left you with drinking from the water fountain outside as your only option.

You heard footsteps behind you as you took a sip from the fountain.

“Have you got any idea how much of a compromising position you’re in?” You heard Remus’ voice and you could swear he was staring at your ass.

“Now I do.” You stood up straight as you met his eyes. “Especially after the little stunt you pulled.”

“What stunt?” He smirked. He knew what you were referring to. “Oh. Yes, the one where I embarrassed you, reminding you of the slut you are?”

You gasped. You never in a million years thought you’d hear someone who used to be in a position of power over you straight up call you a slut (except for in your fantasies) and it turned you on when he did.

“Is that what you wanted? Did you want me to finish the job too?” He said in that low, husky voice as he stepped closer to you. You weakly nodded as you looked up, only to quickly look back down at the intensity of his stare. “Use your words.” You felt the backs of his fingers brush against your heated cheek as he used them to bring your face up, forcing you to look at him.

“I… I want this… I want you.” You whispered, looking deep into his eyes hoping he’d get the point.

“Are you sure?” Now it was his turn to look shy. He was scratching his light brown stubble and shifting his weight from one foot to the other. “I don’t want you to feel like I’m taking advantage of you. We could go back to how things were before and pretend nothing between us happened.” He was lying of course. He would never be able to pretend nothing happened between you two.

“Remus, please kiss me.” You grabbed onto his shoulders. You were hopelessly turned on, and there was no going back for either of you.

He turned his head away from you, making you worried that he was rejecting you only for him to say, “We need to make sure the door to my classroom is locked first.”

As soon as the door to the classroom was locked, Remus had you pinned against it with his hands on your hips.

“My God, you’re so beautiful.” He let out an exhale as his thumb traced your bottom lip, making you shiver both at the words and physical contact.

You’d never felt more alive than when he finally crashed his lips onto yours.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” Remus asked, looking into your eyes for any sign of doubt.

You nodded. “I’m on the pill and I’m clean. Do you trust me?”

“I trust you.” You’ve been a prankster and a nuisance, but you’d never lie about something as serious as this.

Everything around you started to become a blur as Remus continued to kiss you while walking you to where his desk was until your ass was planted against it.

“Look at you.” His eyes glided up and down your body like a wolf checking out his next meal. “Is my needy slut not satisfied? Does she want more?” Fuck, he really hit the nail on the head with that one.

Remus took a seat on his chair before he patted his thigh. You took a gulp before turning around, but not before he put his hand on your lower back, stopping you. “Not so fast.”

You looked to him behind you, and raised your eyebrows in confusion.

“You don’t deserve to sit on a throne like a Princess. Bad girls like you need the right discipline.” You didn’t need for him to explain to you that you understood how this was going to work.

You were in a position of obedience. You took a deep breath as you placed yourself on his lap, chest and torso pressed against his lower body.

“That’s better.” Remus chuckled from above you as he ran his finger along the skin of your inner thigh. It then felt like only a moment before his entire hand wrapped around it with his thumb lightly tracing along your clothed pussy. You let out a soft moan as you raised your ass up in an attempt to grind against his fingers before he pulled them away.

“You’ve completely soaked through your panties. Such a needy, little slut.” He said in response to how your body reacted to his touch. “Here’s what I’ll do.” He started to say as he gathered your hands behind your back. You heard the sound of fabric shuffling and you felt something smooth around your wrists, which you guessed was a necktie. “How about I teach this slut a lesson, and if she’s a good girl, I’ll give her a special reward?”

“What reward? What do you mean?” Your demanding questions came out in a way that made you sound whiny as you squirmed on his lap.

Remus knew if he continued letting you move around on his lap, his erection would only get more unbearable to the point of not being able to contain himself, and that’s not what he wanted. He needed you to understand that he was the one in control, and you were only under his mercy.

He couldn’t help admiring the plumpness of your ass that was covered by the thin material of your panties as he lifted your skirt. He could even see the damp spot on the gusset that he had been looking forward to committing to his memory.

“Ow!” You shut your eyes as you felt a sharp slap on your skin.

“That’s what you get.” He whispered in your ear. Something about his voice sounded different. Maybe feral. It only reminded you of how much you wanted to see this side of him more often, growling in your ear, making you feel like a small prey he deserved to feast on.

“Think you can be quiet?” He asked as he slid his thumb inside your panties where it found your swollen lips.

“Yes.” You bit your lip in an attempt to hold back another scream this time as he delivered a second spank to your bottom.

“I don’t think so.” He scoffed harshly as he yanked your panties down your legs and bunched up the piece of fabric soaked with your juices into a ball before quickly forcing it into your mouth. “There. I won’t have such a hard time getting you to shut up.”

This was it. You were silenced. You were nothing but a toy to him, stuffed with no way to talk back. You couldn’t be happier with how it was, you were under his control as he used your body in ways you craved to be used.

“Don’t worry, Beautiful. I’ll take good care of you.” He soothingly stroked his long fingers over your scalp, undoing your braid and making your hair fall around your face.

With his other hand, he pushed your legs apart, exposing your warm, wet cunt to the dry air. Your body stiffened at the sharp contrast. God, you so desperately wanted him to insert something into your aching hole already! You didn’t care if it was his fingers or his cock, you needed to be filled up good and full until-

Your thoughts were interrupted as another spank, this time harsher than the others, was inflicted on the raw skin you were sure already had red welts forming there. You would’ve been pleased if that were the case. You wanted to be marked as his.

Another spank landed on the other side of your ass.

In contrast to the pain on your ass, the pleasurable sensation of his fingers dragging along your folds was enough to make you moan so loudly even the make-shift gag couldn’t muffle it completely. You bucked your hips up in an attempt to get his fingers into you deeper, but he pulled them away too fast for you. You felt tears stream down your face accompanied by pathetic sobs.

“This is what you get for being a bad girl.” With each word that he growled, each slap on your ass, the ache only grew deeper inside your cunt, reminding you how much you needed him.

Just as you thought you couldn’t take it anymore, the spanking was replaced by his large hand softly rubbing circles on the raw skin. By the time he was done, your legs were shaking as much as your breaths. This was only the beginning.

You stood on shaky legs that would’ve fallen had it not been for the assistance of the desk behind your or Remus holding your hips in place.

“I just wanted to see how beautiful you look, crying, before I bend you over my desk.” He gently brushed the tears under your eyes with his thumb. If it weren’t for the situation you were in, one could mistake the look on Remus’ face as sympathetic.

As quick as he was to show his gentle side, he roughly turned you around and pushed your back forward. With your hands still tied behind your back, you weren’t able to catch yourself as the force of your chest slamming on top of the desk knocked the breath out of you.

“Aww, does my crybaby slut want it now?” He cooed into your ear as he brushed some hair back. “Has she got no more tears left in her eyes? Why don’t I check on that cunt? I’m sure it’s weeping more than your eyes have in your life.”

Why was he being such a tease? If he wanted to tease you, you would’ve rather have him tease you with his fingers not his taunting words.

Another sob ripped through your shaking body as his finger curled inside of you.

“Fucking hell, I can’t do this anymore.” You heard him whisper to himself behind you. You wanted to smirk as you heard the sound of the belt and zipper being undone.

It was as if your pussy could finally breathe in relief as the smooth tip of his cock found your entrance and soon after, the entire length was able to slide in, making not only your pussy feel full, but also your belly.

“Fuck! You’re so wet.” Remus grunted as he held onto your shoulder, pressing it against the hardwood. You didn’t mind the pain on your shoulder that was accompanied by each thrust. Pleasure was the only thing that mattered to you.

You’d gotten to the point where you realized you could no longer rely on your fingers or your toys to make you feel full and pleasured the same way Remus was making you feel. You were his dependent whore, that’s how you’d come to see it. And you loved it. You loved every thrust and every time his cock would hit the right places, the tightness inside you became stronger until you felt it explode (or it was combined with Remus spilling himself inside you,) making you sob loudly. You needed a moment to collect yourself.

“Did you also cum?” He asked as soon as he caught his breath. You nodded. “You’re so irresistible you don’t know how hard it is to keep myself from spilling inside you so fast.”

You felt him tug on the tie around your wrists, pulling your body against his chest.

“You were such a good girl. I’m so proud of you.” He smiled at you, the corners of his eyes wrinkling. Yes, this moment was the proudest you’d ever seen him being of you.

You didn’t realize how stiff your jaw had become until he took out your bunched up panties from your mouth, and put them in his back pocket.

“I haven’t got a spare… it’s so sticky down there.” Your weak protest was shut with a smirk on his lips.

“Too bad. Deal with it. Let it be a reminder of the dirty whore you are.” He said, encircling his arms around your body to untie your wrists. You brought them to your sides, bending them back and forth, relieved to be freed.

Once the two of you had fixed yourselves back to decency, you heard your stomach rumbling, reminding you of the lack of food you’d eaten.

“Would you… like to come over to my place after we’re done with the meeting? You must be starving. I can cook for you or get some takeout, whatever you want. You don’t have to. I just mean, if it’s something you’d want to do with me.”

Now it was your turn to make him shut up as you pressed your lips onto his cheek. “I’d love to.”

235 notes · View notes

kasagia · 1 year

Text

Bruises and scars

Pairing: Kaz Brekker x fem! tidemaker! reader Summary: Kaz Brekker believed he was too broken and bruised to ever count on you reciprocating his childish crush. You were a powerful Grisha, someone who wouldn't be content to be in a relationship with the human shell that he was. That's why he gives you the cold shoulder, that's why he avoids you like the water you wield so well, that's why he tried to drive you away after the day you confessed your feelings to him. Kaz Brekker couldn't love anyone. It would not be beneficial to either side. But Kaz Rietveld rises from the dead, reminding him of what it's like to feel unconditional, blind love. And he won't give up. Not until he gets his girl back... isn't it too late for that, though? Warning(s): Kaz and his trauma; violence; he's afraid of his feelings but loves the reader; generally Kazzle misses the reader; angst with fluff; I'm a sucker for happy endings, but the boy suffered WITHOUT HIS INVESTMENT; mentions of de@th and bl00d Word count: 7,4k

Counting days, counting days since my love up and got lost on me

"You're sending Jesper to do your dirty work for you? I didn't know you were afraid to talk to one of your own crows." you stormed into his office without even bothering to knock. Kaz swallowed. He really should have been better prepared for this conversation. After all, he knew you wouldn't give up so easily. "What is this?" you asked, slamming the wad of paper onto his desk.

"I thought you could read. This is your next job." he replied calmly, not looking up from the papers in his hand.

"In some snobbish fucking king's palace? Are you kidding me?"

"Nikolai isn't that bad. You'll see when you get there."

"And what makes you think that I will voluntarily leave Ketterdam, the club, my friends, and the Crows for two bloody years, Kaz?" for the first time since you walked into his office, he looked up from his papers, fixing you with a cool, impassive gaze.

"That I'm your boss, and you have to obey me. You needed a reminder, judging by the tone of voice you use when you speak to me."

"Was it because of what I said to you when I almost..."

"No!" he growled at you, stopping you from finishing your sentence. That day had already joined his nightmares anyway. He didn't have to constantly recall your almost-death. "It has nothing to do with it." he said, hoping that would put an end to your conversation and went back to writing down the numbers.

"Do not lie to me. I know when you do it, Kaz. You got scared because I said I love…"

"You can go and get ready, Y/N." he said without looking up from the paper he was holding. He had never felt her gaze so hot and intense on him before. They always glanced furtively at each other, discreetly indulging in the silly fantasy of loving each other.

Like they could ever afford to live a normal life. As if he could ever love you properly—the way you deserved.

You stared at him intently, trying to find any trace of emotion in him, any evidence that he didn't really want to send you away from Ketterdam, that he was only doing it because Dirtyhands was afraid of the growing feeling between you two.

"I can hold on like this, Kaz." your soft whisper cut through him, making him shiver. He could bear your screams, your anger, your madness, but the tenderness, the vulnerability you showed only around him… was much more dangerous to the cold Barrel Bastard. "I can go and return to you like nothing happened. I can stay near you and pretend I don't feel anything towards you. I can stop myself from wishing for your slightest touch. I can hide my true emotions around you and other people, just like I have done before… but please just prove to me that it's all worth it. That you can slowly take off pieces of your armour and let me see and be with the real you. Not the Brekker's mask you wore every time we were on Ketterdam's street. Not the Dirtyhands' cruel version of yourself that you created to survive in this town. Not the Bastard from the Barrel, who has so much power in his hands to take down his every enemy. Just the real you, Kaz. The genius-mind boss who cares about his people, not only the kruge. The man who loves his friends more than anything on this earth. The man who risked his own life and saved me from death's arms more times than I could count. Please… just give me this little piece of hope." he tried hard not to raise his gaze to meet your captivating, imploring irises that could touch Brekker's heart.

He knew that the moment he looked at your face, he would doom you both by giving in to this burning desire to be with you.

But he couldn't.

He had to keep you away from him.

"You must be foolish or delusional to think like that. I'm the Bastard from the Barrel. And I care about my crows, because they are good investments. Nothing more and nothing less, Y/L/N."

"Is this everything that we are? What am I to you? An investment?"

Kaz's mouth went dry as he felt the waters rising around him, when a familiar feeling of panic began to seep through his practised mask. He looked away, not wanting you to read his true emotions. Not wanting you to see how much he wanted to confess his true feelings to you.

No. You're my moon, my sun that illuminates me in my darkness. The reason why I'm even bothering to learn how to touch people without going under the water again. You give me hope and peace every time you're close to me. You're my greatest power and weakness. The only one in this bloody world who can change my plans. The only one I care about in the mornings, afternoons, nights, and midnights. I can't drink, eat, think, sleep, or work without thinking about you. You have the power over me. And that's terrified me.

He desperately wanted to give in to his desire.

But he couldn't.

He was too bruised and broken for you.

"Then I have my answer, Mr. Brekker." you broke the long, tense silence between you two. Kaz was too terrified to shift his gaze from the papers on his desk to the only woman who could easily crack the wall around his cold, almost dead heart with one of your smiles towards him. Too afraid to watch the tender expression on your face turn into a cold detachment, just like your tone of voice. "Sorry for taking up your precious time, boss. But I would rather be the foolish girl who falls in love too easily for her own good than a powerful man who doesn't want to feel anything. Nobody will sit around the table and tell a story about a man who loves only his kruge. No matter how great he was." your disappointed whisper lingered in his office long after you left.

He sat dazed in his chair until the candle stub burned out completely, leaving him alone in the darkness of his office. He stood up, lit a new candle, and watched the flame. He couldn't focus on anything other than replaying your conversation.

Rietveld's voice echoed in Brekker's head, somehow getting through his wall, mocking powerful Dirtyhands.

Coward.

And every breath that I’ve been taking since you left feels like a waste on me

"No way!" Jesper's loudspeaker scream snapped Kaz out of his thoughts. He sighed, rubbing his face with his hand, and got up from the desk.

He has done nothing since that fateful conversation. Absolutely nothing. He limited himself to staring blankly at the wall as his thoughts of Y/N effectively took complete control of him. He needed a distraction. Jesper's screams outside his office were perfect.

Without his cane, he walked to the door, eavesdropping on what was going on outside his office.

"Find another idiot to tell him. Or better yet, grab some suicide guy from the roof. If he wants to die anyway, he might as well act as a messenger for their one last time before Kaz rips their head off. SHIT!" the sharpshooter screamed in panic, nearly losing his balance as the door he was partially leaning against was opened by his rather worried boss. "Kaz, the fuck, since when are you sneaking around like that?!"

"Why exactly would I want to have ripped someone's heads off, Jesper?" he ignored his comment, eager to find out what they were hiding from him as soon as possible.

Maybe that would effectively occupy his head, so he could stop thinking about the tidemaker for a while. Unfortunately, neither of the two were in a hurry to answer his question.

"You know, there's always an occasion. Theft, insult, threat, frown, bad day, wedding, christening…" Jesper shut up, seeing that his attempts at a joke only infuriated an already irritated Kaz.

"Y/N is gone." Kaz unconsciously held his breath, feeling the whole world freeze around him for a moment, until anger and panic took hold of him.

"What? Did someone kidnap her? How did you look after her?!" he growled furiously, walking back to the office and limping towards his cane. His crows followed hesitantly, watching him struggle as he tried to put on his cloak in his haste.

"She runaway. I lost track of her around the harbour." a new revelation made Kaz freeze again. He stared blankly into the space between Jesper and Inej, turning his cane's crow head in his hand.

He should have anticipated that too. Had a backup plan. But he didn't. He's been acting strangely lately. He didn't recognize himself. But after all, that was what he had wanted all along - to stay away from Y/N. So why had her disappearance made him feel so much worse?

"Kaz? Should we send some people to…"

"No need, Inej. Go back to work. You too, Jesper." the gambler looked like he wanted to argue with him, but the Wraith, seeing their friend's strange behavior, grabbed his hand, and they obediently walked away from their boss.

Kaz leaned against the desk, dullly staring at the closed door.

It was supposed to be better that way. Neither you nor he will ever meet again. You won't exchange those longing glances again. You won't act like a couple of teenagers in love, and no one will ever attack or harm you to get to him again or to threaten him. Nobody was going to get hurt.

So why did he feel like he was going back under the water?

I’ve been holding on to hope That you’ll come back when you can find some peace Cause every word that I’ve heard spoken since you left feels like an hollow street

One week, two days, 10 hours, 34 minutes and 29 seconds. That's how long it's been since he last saw your face.

He was secretly hoping you'd come back to him and the crows. Fuck the crows, he just wanted you to walk through that damned door again and start arguing with him, shouting at him, cursing his name at all the saints you knew, so he could hear your voice again.

He missed you. More than he thought he would.

Irritatingly, everything around him reminded him of you.

Especially your empty seat during Crow's meetings. No one dared to occupy it, as if every one of the gathered was waiting for you to come through that door (or window) again with a malicious, characteristic smirk on your face, mumbling some insincere apology for being late.

It never happened. Though Inej prayed to her saints every day for your return. Just like the others. Although each of them experienced your departure differently. Jes stared often at the places you once occupied, imagining you were still there. Nina found herself often making too many waffles (of course, accidentally making exactly the few you were used to eating). Wylan often creates his bombs and other things in your favourite colours.

But Kaz probably took your absence the worst of them all.

If he had slept little before, fearing that nightmares about Jordie would haunt him, now he hardly slept at all. Because every time he closed his eyes, he saw your face. He heard your laugh. He smelled your perfume. He felt cursed. Cursed by you the moment your eyes looked at him full of sadness, anger, and disappointment... full of pain.

He thought that if you disappeared from his sight, he would forget about you and go back to normal. But your leaving only made him think of you more often and longer. He sat behind his desk for hours, staring blankly at the papers in front of him. Spread out plans, bills, and maps; it all stopped making sense to him. It stopped coming together, creating a perfect plan in his head.

All he could think about was you.

And Rietveld's voice, instead of being silenced and buried alive in his cold heart with your disappearance, only broke through his hard surface more and more often with the passing days without you by his side. And he wasn't holding back from taunting Dirtyhands at all.

The great Kaz Brekker fell victim to one of his own plans.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

Even Ketterdam has felt your absence.

This time of year, it usually warms up enough for people to shed their heavy winter coats. However, it was the middle of spring, and a cool, icy wind still blew through the streets, bringing occasional, small snowfalls that melted on the street, creating mud.

Kaz had never despised the city he lived in more. Even it laughed in his face at his stupidity, reminding him that it was his fault that the only spark of joy and bewitchingness in this damned city had gone.

He shuddered as a child shoved past him, running happily to the ship that had come into harbour and thrown itself into its father's waiting arms. Brekker began to take rapid, panicked breaths. He closed his eyes and leaned against the wall of one of the buildings, trying to imagine something other than Jordie.

His haphephobia got worse.

Earlier, he could bear the fleeting touch of strangers, such as being brushed up against him in a crowd. It was no problem for him to touch his crows for a few minutes (especially you and your comfortable hugs, holding your hand, or just feeling your warm skin under his bare fingertips).

But now even the slightest contact with a stranger brought him immediately under the water. And the tiny touch from his crows raised the waves he had to calm in the privacy of his office.

He was rolling down. He knew it well. But he saw it as his personal punishment for hurting your feelings in a brutal way instead of gently cutting you off. Maybe then it wouldn't hurt so much.

Kaz knew he was fooling himself. He would suffer anyway. He let you go too deep under his skin, penetrate his essence, and know his soul too well to just give up on you, and forget about you.

And what terrified him most was that, given the choice, he would let you in again. Even knowing he would be devastated after letting you go.

But it was better for you. You deserved something better than this life you would live with him.

And that one thought kept him sane. That he did it for your own good, that wherever you are now, he's sure you're better off than you were in Ketterdam.

Which didn't stop him from checking every ship that came into port in the sick hope of seeing your angelic face.

He just had to get over his grief. He did the same with Jordie.

The only difference was that he didn't dream of holding his brother back in his arms like he dreamed of you.

Maybe I, maybe I’m just being blinded By the brighter side Of what we had because it’s over Well there must be something in the tide

Kaz was on your bed, reading one of your books you accidentally left behind. It was all he could do lately. He wasn't sure how long it had been since he'd left that room for anything other than food and a change of clothes. He missed you. And he had no idea what he should do.

He inhaled your faint scent on the pillows.

In some strange way (probably because of your ability to control the water), you always smelled of the sea, even when you weren't near the harbour. Kaz hated water and hated the salty sea smell that hit him whenever he passed near the harbour. It reminded him of Jordie. But inexplicably, the smell of the sea on you brought him comfort, safety... peace.

Now it was a reminder of something else—how he let you slip through his fingers. In fact, he pushed you away from himself.

He shook his head, trying not to think about you. However, the world was always against him and never made things easy for him. The fact that the dried flower had fallen out of the book onto his chest was proof of that.

With trembling hands, he set the book aside and reached for the flower, afraid he would ruin it. However, the need to see if his eyes were deceiving him was greater than the fear of spoiling such a precious thing.

He remembered that flower. He put it in your hair himself.

"Just the two of us in a field of flowers? If I didn't know you better, I'd think it was a date, boss." he rolled his eyes as you giggled at his reaction.

"Stop it. Or they'll notice us." he muttered, trying to ignore the cool wind that somehow made its way through the high grass. He wrapped his cloak around him, enviously noting that the girl next to him didn't seem to feel that cold. He internally slapped himself for wanting to share his cloak with her.

"I highly doubt they'd want to look for us in that thicket of grass. Besides, usually when a woman is giggling at a place and situation like this, stealing some noblewoman's jewels is the last thing on her mind, Kaz. The same applies to her potential partner."

"As if I heard Jesper." he sighed, focusing on the nobles in front of them. The plan was for Jesper to distract them while he and Y/N collected what they had come for. Simple and fast, if his childish desire to be paired with Y/N did not overwhelm his senses. She distracted him more than he could afford.

"You and Jes also had a secret meeting among the wildflowers? Now, I'm jealous."

"Jes?" he asked, turning his surprised gaze on her.

"Yes, do you mind?"

"You've known him for a week." he remarked dryly.

"Yes, and what?"

"It took you two months to start calling me by my first name, let alone a nickname."

"Just because you preferred to call me tidemaker instead of using my name."

"To be honest, it might have slipped my mind then." he muttered under his breath, not realising she heard him.

"You forgot my fucking name?! Kaz Brekker you are the most ignorant person I've ever seen." Kaz knew from the anger in her eyes that only his haphephobia kept him from getting his ass kicked by Y/N.

"Well, now I remember." he tried to defend himself.

"I don't care, Brekker. Now you can even call me the fucking Easter Bunny and I won't answer you anyway."

"Don't be a child, Y/N. Y/N?" Kaz sighed in frustration when he got no response from you.

He had to come up with something; he knew this name thing wouldn't be resolved until he appeased you properly. And he didn't have time to indulge in your sulks. You had to rob these people. (It's not like his heart ached when you were mad at him.)

Fortunately, out of the corner of his eye, he saw something that might help him. Your favourite flower, growing at his fingertips. He plucked a plant and put it behind your ear without thinking. You flinched at the sudden touch, staring at him in shock as the material of his gloves brushed your cheek as he pulled his hand away.

"Maybe I forgot your name then, but now I remember and know a lot more about you than just a stupid name."

"But how… how do you know I like y/f/f?" you asked in shock, never in your wildest dreams imagining that Kaz Brekker would bother with something like your favorite flower.

"You are my tidemaker. My most important investment. It's logical that I'll know you inside out."

"Should I be afraid or appreciate this unsettling but sweet effort?"

"You should know by now that nothing I do is sweet."

"Of course, big, terrible, Dirtyhands." you replied with a small smirk, similar to the one that kept Kaz from your sight.

To her, he could be more than Kaz Brekker. He could be Kaz Rietveld. And it terrified him more than the urge to reach out his hand again and fix her windblown hair.

The mastermind has been deceived by his own heart.

I’ve been told, I’ve been told to get you off my mind But I hope I never lose the bruises that you left behind Oh my Lord, oh my Lord, I need you by my side

"Zenik. Follow me." he muttered as he finally found the woman at the bar. He headed for his office without looking back, knowing full well that she would do as she was told this time.

"Yes, Kaz?"

"You are contacting Y/N." it wasn't a question. He knew it the moment Nina sent you her first letter a month ago.

He himself tried to send you his letter a week ago. It came back unopened, and the delivery man said no such person lives at this address. A lie he recognised without even knowing that Nina and you were still writing to each other.

"I am." she replied coolly. Kaz, seeing that he did not want to voluntarily cooperate, sighed and sat down in his chair. His leg was starting to hurt more and more often - another thing that went bad with you leaving.

"How is she?"

"Happy. Relatively. She is tormented by nightmares and unwanted thoughts about you." if Nina wanted to make him feel guilty, she did it brilliantly.

He already felt terrible without her judging eyes and dry answers. She must have seen the shadows under his eyes, as he did in his mirror. He had no right to pity himself. He knew it well. That's why he put up with Nina's attitude, in his stupid desire to know how you were doing.

"So… is she better off than here?"

"No. But that's not your problem anymore."

"Did she find someone?" he asked hesitantly, afraid of an affirmative answer.

"Possibly, things are evolving."

Kaz felt the world stop around him for a moment. The idea of someone else watching how you play with water and create ice sculptures, someone listening to your beautiful voice and making you laugh, someone capable of holding you and kissing you, made him sick. A sick sense of jealousy that Kaz only experienced when he saw the wealth of others.

A rash desire to come for you overtook him. He had to have you back. Before you fall in love with someone other than him.

"Do you think if we…"

"No, Kaz." Nina cut him off before he could ask a question. "You wanted to get rid of her, so hold on to your fucking decision. You hurt her, and you knew damn well you would, by ordering her to return to Ravka. Honestly, Kaz, did you think about how it would impact her? How she would feel? If you wanna break her heart again, go on. Chase her. Let's see if she forgives you also this time."

"Then what should I do?" he asked, and the desperation and hopelessness of his tone terrified both him and the woman standing in front of his desk. Nobody had ever seen him like this. Even you. And now he was ready to open up to anyone just to have you by his side again.

"Forget about her. After all, that's what you wanted, right?" he did not answer.

She was right. He wanted to get rid of you. Now he was paying the price, and he had no right to ask you to ease his pain and return to the Kettedram. Return to him. Which doesn't mean that his stupid heart will just let him forget about you. He's learned that over the months without you. And he cursed all the saints that he didn't know it until he gave you the cold shoulder.

Kaz no longer had the right to your affection. He had to accept it. He had to accept that he had given up his chance to love you. That now you had every right to go and love someone else. Even if the very idea drove him crazy and desperate.

He must have forgotten about you. For the sake of all of you.

But Nina's slamming of his office door only brought him back to his memories of you.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

Kaz fell. He was in the most pathetic position.

He didn't care, though, as he sat like a fool on the shore of the same lake where he met you. At which he irreversibly gave you the remnants of his heart a few years ago, without even knowing it.

He told himself that Nina was right. Once he let you go, he had to persevere in that resolve. Ketterdam will only bring you pain... so why was it so hard for him to let go of his last ties to you?

"Why are you coming here with me?" your gentle voice snapped him out of his thoughts as he stared spellbound at your little water show.

"Am I bothering you?" he asked, shifting in his place on the dock as he watched you float in the lake.

He wouldn't even dip his little toe in himself, but he liked to silently watch you become one with what was dear to you. And by the way, he could admire your skills and beauty as much as he wanted. He didn't have to look for any particular excuse.

"No. It's just that I've never seen you watch your other crows train."

"They're not like you." it slipped out before he could think about it. "If anyone sees you, I better get them before they announce to the world that one of the Black General's tidemakers has taken refuge with me." your smirk dropped at the mere mention of your former life. Kaz cursed in his mind. "You are also too valuable an investment. And the rest of the crows liked you. It's a big achievement. Inej doesn't let new people in so easily... me too."

"So you like me after all, boss?" you asked with that mischievous smirk on your lips that made his heart beat like crazy. Good thing water was your specialty. At least you didn't hear his heart pounding.

"You're tolerable company, and what you can do… what you can do is amazing."

"It's just little tricks." you murmured, forming different shapes out of the water. "At the king's parties, I was quite often one of the highlights." you waved your hand, freezing the water to form an ice statue. His statue. "Not every tidemaker is strong enough to freeze water." with another wave of your hand, to his silent displeasure, you melted the ice. "Not to mention turning ice into water again. Most just stop at its liquid form and don't train any more. I like to think I'm too curious to ever stop exploring my powers."

"Or stubborn." he said with a small smirk, listening to your wonderful laugh.

He must have been cursed from the start, since fate had put someone so perfect in his path... someone he could never have. But he could have been watching you. Enjoy his eyes with your beauty and his ears with the tone of your voice.

"Sometimes that's a good trait too. You taught me that yourself."

"How convenient for you to learn from me only what you want and not what you need."

"Sometimes what we want is more important than what we need and what is more rational for us."

"What for example?"

"Love." he tried to keep a poker face, but apparently his eyes betrayed more than he would have liked, as you gave him a confused, questioning look. "What? You've never been in love?"

NO. Not until he looked into your eyes and heard you laugh. Not until he got into your first argument with you and lost with a smile on his face. Not until he first saw you use your powers to outsmart the bandits who attacked you. Not until he saw how the moonlight in Ketterdam made your eyes shine even more than usual, so that you might as well have lit up all of the city with your beauty. Not until he first heard his name come out of your mouth. No, until he foolishly began to believe in Inej's saints, when he saw how tenderly and kindly you treat the orphans in the streets of Ketterdam.

"This silence means either a very powerful heartbreak, or you really only love a kruge."

"What if I really never loved anyone? What if I don't believe in love?" he whispered, looking up at you. You sneaked up to him so that you were standing in front of him. Water trickled down your hair and along your neck to the hand you held out to him. You opened your hand, handing him a small shell.

"The world is too cruel for such beliefs, Kaz. If we don't believe in love, why should we get out of bed at all? Why do we accumulate all these riches and try to survive each day?" Kaz didn't know the answer. Not one that would allow him to avoid the uncomfortable subject of his feelings for you.

He took the shell from you and, being careful not to break it, put it in his pouch. Along with the other little things you fished out of the water.

Your eyes met. You stared into the other's eyes for a moment, lost in your own dreams, which were not too different from each other... Yet neither of you had the courage to admit them out loud and risk everything you had been so carefully building between yourselves. Even if your hearts burned for more.

So he sat with you in silence, watching you play with the water and analysing what you told him. What was the reason for his existence?

Kaz from a year ago would have answered quickly and without thinking. Revenge. But now that he was looking at you, he wasn't so sure about his answer… or at least it was closer to something much different than his desire for revenge.

Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh It's your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in And I'm tired of being so exhausted

He sat behind his desk, involuntarily reminiscing about the day it all began.

The day he almost lost you. The day you almost died in his arms. The day you told him something he secretly wanted to hear but wasn't prepared for. The day he will curse forever.

This was your first assignment after returning from Ravka and the whole sun summoner thing. A childish, simple burglary. Something to warm up his crows—a return to the reality of Ketterdam without queens and kings and politics.

And so it was. You filled your pockets with valuables and were about to leave when one of the guards spotted you. They were much better armed than you (it was supposed to be a simple robbery with no witnesses and no blood spilled, so you only had daggers and knives "just in case") and strangely familiar with all the secret passages in the small mansion.

Even though you found yourself in a terrible situation, you managed to leave the property. You laid out in the finish as you and Kaz ran towards the club. One of the guards shot at you and hit you. Very accurate, almost piercing your heart with a bullet.

Kaz stared dazedly as you screamed in pain as you clutched your chest and tumbled onto the muddy, cobbled road. He reacted faster than he thought, throwing the dagger at the man who shot you and killing him instantly. Inej would have praised him for such a throw.

But that effective kill didn't matter to him now. He ran over to you in a panic and kneeled beside you, tugging at the fabric of your shirt. He hissed as he saw the blood pouring down your skin.

"Kaz..." you groaned, looking at him terrified. Kaz ripped off a piece of his shirt and wrapped it tightly around your waist, trying to stop the gushing blood. "Cold." you mumbled, shivering in his arms. Brekker didn't even notice as he placed you in his lap; he was too busy to stop the bleeding until he found bloody Zenik. Where was she when he really fucking needed her?

"Shhh…. I know. Just try to hold on a little longer, okay? Nina and Jes will be here soon." he tried to calm you down by running his hand through your sweat-soaked hair. He rocked you back and forth, not knowing who he was trying to reassure—you or himself.

"We both know they won't make it on time."

"If you're wasting your energy talking, at least say something useful instead of talking nonsense, tidemaker." he growled at you, tightening his grip on you. "You're not getting away from me that fast. I didn't invest so much in you to make you leave before…" Until I tell you how much you mean to me... "Until we fill our vault with tonnes of Kruge."

"I could have predicted that even on my deathbed you'd be talking about the fucking Kruges." you laughed, coughing up some blood, which didn't calm his already madly beating heart. Where is that damn Zenik?

"Die in my arms and I promise I'll go back to hell for you. The devil can wait for you - I signed a pact with you first." you suddenly became serious, squeezing his gloved hand tighter and staring into his eyes as if they were the only stars in your dark sky.

"Kaz… I… I have to tell you…"

"Shut up, Y/L/N. You're not dying today." he snarled a warning, squeezing you so hard that he was sure to leave bruises on your arms. Panic rose in him as he felt your body slowly go limp, your breaths becoming less and less frequent.

"Kaz… I love you." you whispered, making him freeze in a daze. You only said those words in his wildest dreams. He had secretly dreamed of it many times, but certainly not like this. Not while your soul was slowly escaping from this cruel world unworthy of you.

He doesn't remember exactly when Nina came running, or how Jesper took you out of his arms, or how he kept up with Jesper's frantic pace as he ran with you in his arms.

But he surely was shaking all the way to the Crow Club. He only breathed a few hours after Nina announced to everyone that you would live. Then he left, without even entering your room to make sure Zenik's words were true, and locked himself in his office.

Tears began to fall from his eyes as he leaned against the door.

He could have lost you. Forever. Another person close to him.

His dreams would be tormented by the sight of your bloody corpse in some dirty alley. Again, he felt like that helpless little boy who had lost his brother. He found himself with Jordie THERE again.

Kaz couldn't go through all of it again. He wouldn't get up after your death. And there was only one thing he could do...

Fuck it all.

He needed you.

He was too exhausted to pretend any longer.

He was Kaz Brekker. He didn't need a reason. But his slowly dying heart without you seemed to be enough of an excuse to see you. Even if you're going to completely break it. Even the cold Bastard from the Barrel saw it as a good deal.

"JESPER!" he shouted, jumping out of his chair with his cane in hand.

"Yes?" his friend was at his side faster than ever.

"Tell the others to pack up. We're leaving in an hour." he muttered, taking out his travel bag from the wardrobe. Even without turning around, he knew a big smile had formed on Jesper's face.

We're going to get my girl back.

"About the damn time, Kaz." he patted him on the back and ran out of his office, telling the other crows the good news.

Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Your love I'm lost in Even though I'm nothing to you now Even though I'm nothing to you now

Kaz had been afraid of a few things in his life, but walking through the threshold of your new apartment seemed to be the most terrible of all his fears.

His crows obeyed him without objection for the first time in their lives and stayed at the hotel. He came here. On trembling legs and a rapidly beating heart. With his soul on his shoulder, ready to sacrifice and do anything to get you back. And if you didn't change your mind, it would be with a mind ready to carve your image into his memory so he could enjoy seeing you one last time in his miserable life.

Before he could change his mind, he knocked on the door.

He waited patiently, hearing footsteps approaching. He held his breath as the key turned in the lock.

But you weren't the one who opened the door for him.

"What?" a well-built, dark-haired man stood in the doorway.

Kaz began to compare himself to him, concluding that, when it came to appearance, he was superior to him in everything. He didn't stand a chance against someone like that for your heart. Doubts began to flood back into him. What if Nina was right?

"Are you going to stand here for half a day or..."

"Jackson!" your voice from the depths of the apartment shook Kaz. It froze him completely, irritating the man in front of him even more. "I need your help here, you big fool. What are you doing?" a moment later, you were standing in the vestibule. Your eyes met. Kaz shivered under your gaze, cursing himself for how quickly he fell under your spell as he stood there completely dazed.

"Y/N." your name came out of his mouth reverently, like a prayer, like a song long forgotten by a wanderer. You looked exactly the same as you did a few months ago. Except for the faint shadows under his eyes, which Kaz considered his greatest enemies.

"Kaz."

"Jackson. Hello there." the man waved at him, stepping between you. Jackson looked at you, worried. Kaz felt both anger welling up in him, a feeling of envy at how close you were with this strange guy, but also relief that you had someone close to take care of you. Not that you couldn't overcome the worst hell alone. He just felt relieved that you didn't have to. "Let him in, or should I kick his ass, wave?"

Wave? Did you two have nicknames for each other?

"It's all right. You can leave us." you said as you walked past him to face Kaz. The man behind you sighed, shaking his head.

"I hope you know what you're doing."

It might as well have been directed at Kaz. For the first time in his whole new Dirtyhands' life, he didn't have a plan, an emergency exit, or another backup plan. But now he was standing in front of you, staring at you helplessly as he absorbed your form. And that damn sea smell in your hair...

"Kaz."

"Y/N." he said as he came back down to earth. He took a small, calming breath. "How are you?"

"Really? Are you here just to ask how I'm doing?" she asked incredulously, folding her arms.

Kaz wrinkled his nose at your dry, angry tone. As he could see, it would be even more difficult than he thought. He stood in front of you, twirling his cane nervously in his hands.

"I'm here for a completely different reason, but I couldn't… I couldn't not come and see you." he admitted turning his gaze back to you after lowering his head in embarrassment.

"I'm alright. My brother and I are having a great time."

"Brother?" he asked. Relief and joy washed over him. Nor could he help himself to this naive hope, which began to warm his cold heart.

"Yes... Jackson. Who did you think he was?" he did not answer. You could have guessed. He knew you saw the flicker of jealousy in his eyes after that strange man called you a wave. You were his tidemaker, his wave, his sea, and all the fucking things. For a moment, he forgot that he was the one who had deprived himself of the right to claim against you. "You saw me, you asked how I was, so you can go now. Goodbye, Kaz." you were about to close the door on him, but at the last moment he put his cane between them, preventing you from doing so. You opened your door again, giving him a questioning look.

"Come back with me." he whispered, defeated. He couldn't let you go. Not again, not after there was still the slightest chance you might still want him.

"What?" you whispered softly, pretty sure you misheard him.

"There's no other reason why I'm here... I can't eat, I can't sleep, and I can't think or function like a normal person without you next to me. I'm one step away from daydreaming about you, hallucinating, and being insane that you're still by my side, so please... I'm begging you to come back to me. I know I don't deserve you and that I hurt you. You have every right to kick me out, but please, Y/N, just come home."

"What exactly am I supposed to come back to, Kaz? A cold, surly boss who is afraid of his feelings? Who doesn't hesitate to hurt me to protect his heart?"

"I'm not... I'm not good at this. Feelings. I... I don't know what it's like to love, but I know that when I'm with you... when I'm with you, nothing else matters. Not Ketterdam, not power, not Kruge, not wealth, not profit—nothing has ever been on my pedestal. Only you. Always you. And maybe I'm terrified of it, but now I know that I'd rather fight my own demons for you than let you go. I will try my best. If you still want me." he stared at you with undisguised hope in his eyes, only now realising how close he had come to you during your conversation. He tucked a strand of hair behind your ear, cupping your cheek uncertainly. "I love you, Y/N... even if I'm nothing to you now." he murmured, risking everything and resting his forehead against yours with a sigh.

There must be something in the water Cause everyday it's getting colder And if only I could hold you You'd keep my head from going under

He inhaled your scent with his eyes closed, waiting for your move. Hope grew with him every second you continued to let him be so close to you.

"You're an idiot, Kaz Brekker." he didn't contradict or argue with you. He was a complete idiot, pushing you away and begging you to come back, all the while acting like a love-crazy fool… however, he wouldn't have it any other way if it meant you taking your place in his office again. If someday he could hold you in his arms… "You have lucky you're my idiot. With all of your bruises, scars, and everything else." you promised, hugging him tighter. You pulled away from him with serious eyes, making Kaz swallow. "But if you do that shit again, forget I'm coming back to you. Also, we need to seriously work on your communication, Brekker. Do you know how long I've had to struggle here with that other idiot who claims to be my brother?"

"I can hear all of it!" you sighed at your brother's grumbling and gave Kaz a meaningful look. Brekker smiled slightly, causing a matching goofy smirk to appear on your face.

"See? But seriously, I'm not kidding. Last chance, Kaz."

"A deal is a deal. You're never going anywhere without me again."

"A red flag!" your brother coughed from the kitchen. You rolled your eyes, grabbing the edge of Kaz's coat sleeve.

"Shut up, Jackson. I'm leaving, I'll be back in an hour! Try not to burn down the apartment, spitfire."

You didn't wait for his answer as you slammed the door behind you and stepped out with Kaz into the street. Brekker led you towards the hotel where the other crows were staying. His hand in yours, which did not escape your notice. You turned your head towards him, giving him a confused look, which made him smile slightly, shifting his gaze to the port and the sea.

At one point, he noticed that one of the waves "attacked" a trader, washing him over. He cursed so loudly that you could hear him even from this distance. Kaz shifted his gaze to you, immediately noticing the sly smirk on your face. Suddenly, the wallet fell from the sky right into your waiting hand, along with droplets of salty, cool water.

He chuckled, shaking his head in amusement as he pulled you closer to him, wrapping his arm around your shoulders. A self-satisfied smirk formed on his face after seeing your blush.

One day, he will be able to touch you without his gloves. Hold in your arms without layers of clothes on. He will do it. No matter how long it takes him to get rid of the greatest demon of his past. But something told him that you'd keep his head from going under the water again. His queen of waves. His crow. His anchor. And he will make sure that he holds you in his arms forever.

939 notes · View notes

martyfive · 7 months

Text

i lay in bed sick for two weeks straight. first there’s body temperature i never knew was possible for a human to have, then there are coughs that feel like they may be the last ones i could ever have in my life, then there’s weakness, then my five year old phone falls down from the bed ending up completely broken, then the bed sheets become something i couldn’t bear to see anymore. then i get up, go outside and unexpectedly find myself at the offer of a somewhat steady part job at this small italian restaurant we’ve been visiting every sunday sharp for the last year and a half except for these two weeks i spent lying sick in bed. we are leaving the bar for the night when R. asks me if i’d like to help her at the bar a couple hours a week.

“i have no experience or anything,” i say, feeling extremely daft. “i’m not even sure i can talk to people properly. i never really could.”

“it’s okay,” she says. “you’ll be polishing the glasses. it’s not hard. i’ll teach you everything.”

on our way home A. says, “it could be good for you, you know. being among people and trying something new,” and i feel like he’s right.

at this point this small restaurant already feels like another home i want to belong to. going there every sunday for so long totally helped with that. they have one of my works i gave them as a present for christmas on the wall. it hangs up above the table me and A. occupied the first time we ever came to eat there. the frame contains pages from a sketchbook i used to draw in while visiting italy five years ago. it feels too personal, but also somehow on it’s place. i hate to hoard the stuff i create. i want to be bolder.

regretting my life choices, i spend all what’s left from my last year’s salary on a new phone. it’s a first phone i bought without anyone’s help. it costs more than i deserve.

i can’t find any will to start drawing again after being sick for two weeks.

a couple days later i go to the restaurant to ask R. about the time i can get to work. she says, “this thursday, 6:30 pm,” and then adds, tugging on my star wars hoodie, “and put on a black shirt, if you have one”.

so i find one that looks like A. has been wearing it during his teenage years when he looked more like a stick than a human and i go for the job that for the first time in my life has nothing to do with any kind of art except the art of making cocktails i still keep messing up. a couple hours a week somehow soon turns into ten as normally as “polishing glasses” turns into “doing everything there is possible to do as quickly as possible”.

“would you like to do thirty hours a week?” R. asks one day looking hopeful as if i hadn’t broken ten of their glasses in the first five days of work.

“my back is gonna die sooner than you expect it to if i agree to that,” i answer. and it really is the only reason i don’t say yes.

i soon notice there is no time to think of anything else except the work to be done while i am behind the bar once again forgetting the difference between prosecco and chardonnay or picking the ice from the ice machine or freezing in the giant fridge while looking for the specific crate of beer everyone in this town drinks more often than water. the countless amount of crates are brought from and to the back room. the ten glasses are crushed, four of them in my own hands just from squeezing too hard on them. i cringe about every single one of them before falling asleep after coming home around midnight with my aching back and more money than i ever earned drawing pictures. i think about that one time my friend told me that once you start working in catering, there’s no way back. i haven’t talked to her in a while and i can’t ask her if she still thinks it’s true.

i still can’t draw. i guess it will pass. i still cough although i’m trying not to be loud when i’m behind the bar.

“you smoke?” R. asks. “i do. i just don’t have time.”

“i’ve been smoking since i was sixteen. but not anymore really,” i say to that. “when my mother calls me, then i smoke. but that doesn’t happen very often.”

M. laughs at that as if he understands what i’m talking about and says, “with this job, i either smoke a cigarette or kill somebody,” and i laugh with him.

M. is the chef and the restaurant is named after him. he cooks so good there is surely nothing better i’ve ever eaten in my entire life. i hear all about it from guests while picking the dishes from the tables, smiling and pretending my hands are not shaking. he and R. speak to each other in loud italian and i like how they sound even if i only understand a couple words from their dialogues.

“what’s allora?” i ask one time.

R. looks at me like i’m the only one who ever asked her a silly question like that, “huh,” she says, “i don’t know. it’s like here we go or something like that,” and she smiles.

i like talking to her. for some reason i like asking her questions and seeing the surprise on her face. she’s five years older than me but i feel like a child around her. she also has her birthday in november.

“all my family are scorpions,” she says after revealing the fact that there’s ten days between our birthdays. she names at least ten of the members of her family and all their november birthday dates in a row.

i say, “the parties must be hilarious when you all gather together.”

more often i feel like she’s my serious boss i keep disappointing with my every move but at the end of the shifts she turns into what feels more like a friend. i secretly hope i can be her friend one day even though it seems like she knows the name of every human being in this town and even some other nearby towns and doesn’t really need any more friends than she already has. but after all, i’m a part of this town now, too.

“what is your favourite thing to do here here at the bar?” i ask the other day.

she looks puzzled for a second, “maybe serving fish,” she says and this time it’s my turn to feel surprised. i saw how it’s done, and i don’t really know what she means.

“i thought it’s talking to people or something,” i say.

“nah,” she waves her hand, “it’s just my job, you know.”

i regret entering this territory but i still ask, “would you better like to do something else? some other job?”

“nah,” she says again, smiling, “i like it.”

and i like it too. horrifyingly, i like it too much. thinking about sitting at home and drawing stuff like i used to do all my life feels like a torture. it surely is one when i pick up my tablet and pencil and stare at the white canvas not knowing who i am anymore. there is nothing in my head i want to say. there is nothing my hands can do. i have no idea why. i want to go back behind the bar and ask R. what her favourite colour is.

“i’m proud of you,” A. says one night while we’re going back home from the restaurant where he got his two beers and one glass of whiskey i poured for him myself. he spent two hours sitting at the bar not far from these three teenage boys who have been drinking an enormous amount of beer and playing cards and then trying to guess where i come from according to my accent. “i’m proud that you’re doing good and you found something that you like so much.”

i buy two black shirts and jeans. i take my old black coat out of the wardrobe. i walk for two minutes from home to the bar and back looking fancier than ever. i feel happier than ever. i don’t look at my social media. i feel like this rotten sadness and loneliness that occupied my head for so long has nothing to do with my life now. i wonder if it’s just a phase. i consider finding a new therapist just to ask them if it’s okay to feel this good or i should be medicated before it’s too late. i want to go to bed at proper hour, wake up earlier, spend the day feeling good and then go to the bar and ask R. stupid questions and be stressed about the things i can control. i look at my workplace at home, at the white canvas that reflects nothingness in my head, at everything i have ever known, and i don’t know what to do.

i go back to work.

“you like it here?” M. asks almost every time. “is everything okay?”

“everything’s okay,” i say, smiling. and i mean it.

someone’s ordering an espresso at 11 pm. R. says, “tell them the coffee machine is already off,” turning it off while saying it. i laugh. i feel happy. i go home knowing there’s gonna be more work to be done tomorrow. i miss drawing stuff. i have nothing to say. i fall asleep thinking of the ten glasses i broke. in the morning, i can’t draw. i used to draw most of my stuff at the evenings and during the nights. now they are full of beer glasses and beer crates and adhd people who want an espresso before bed.

i ask myself if that really is how growing up feels like. i ask myself what i am going to do if i will not be able to draw a single piece of art ever again. i read the email of the person who wants me to draw an artwork for them. i wonder if they should know i’m an imposter who can’t draw anymore. i tell myself to shut up and stop being dramatic.

i go to work.

there’s a wedding at the restaurant. i once again bring what feels like an endless amount of bottle crates from the back room to the bar. i smile. i talk to people. i wipe the tables. i polish the glasses. i pour beer into them.

“my back hurts,” R. says.

“willkommen to the club,” i tell her, although for some reason my back doesn’t really hurt.

someone orders a beer and then changes their mind after the bottle was already opened.

“it’s yours if you want it,” R. says. “your shift is over anyway.”

and i stay. i sit at the bar as if i don’t really work there. i drink my beer, i talk to R. while she puts the new napkins on tables, makes sure everyone from the wedding paid what they had to and lets me ask her my questions. i pay for another beer, taking money from my fresh salary. R. rolls her eyes at that but allows me to pay anyway. she’s not a boss anymore. just… a friend. i tell her i don’t wanna go home.

“i can see that,” she laughs. “do you have friends here in town?” she asks.

i look at the bottom of my glass.

“no,” i say. there’s a lady on our street i sometimes walk our dogs together with. she’s as old as my mother. i always forget the names of her three kids although they’re all around my age. i wonder if i should mention her. “i have friends in other places. you know. not here.”

“i can be your friend here,” she says, smiling.

i feel like it’s the happiest day of my life. i’m also a little drunk on schwarzbier. even if my back would hurt i wouldn’t have noticed.

“if you need someone as me as a friend,” i say, “then. yeah. sure. uh. why not.”

we talk some more. the beer tests my language skills. i tell her i want a new tattoo. she says she got the first one when she was sixteen and it was a horrible butterfly.

“what is your favourite colour?” i finally ask.

she looks really baffled at that, then pulls out her phone. “i guess it’s red,” she says, showing me some of photos from her instagram where she’s younger than me now and is dressed up in red. “see, it looks good on me,” and she’s right. “but white is also good. and pink. and maybe purple. not black though. with my black hair, it doesn’t look good at all.”

we’re both dressed in black for work.

i come to the conclusion that colours are the least important thing in the world to her. that’s okay. i think about all the years i spent trying to make colours work. i wanna say something, but end up saying nothing.

she turns the lights off and locks the restaurant up. we spend a couple minutes walking in the same direction to our houses. i tell her about the name my friends from other places are calling me. i don’t tell her why it’s different from the one she saw on my id card. i’m not that drunk. she says she’s gonna use it from now on. she kisses my cheek before we part. i was at school the last time someone did that.

i go home. i sit at my workplace. i answer to the email of the person that wants me to draw an artwork for them from a new phone i spent enormous amount of money on. for a second i wonder if i should still tell them i’m an imposter and my career will be over by the morning when i wake up sober.

i think about the ten glasses i broke, then let myself forget about them. i tell myself to shut up and stop being dramatic.

i draw.

29/02/2024

#martyfive text #text post #text #diary

202 notes · View notes