#but though i know some things about other tales games. this is really the second one i'm getting into since vesperia and i'm glad to be

[oveliagirlhaditright]

I've started playing Tales of Hearts (there's sort of a long story as to why--and I won't bore you guys with all of those details--but part of the reason is because, years ago, I watched a video where someone explained what all of the titles for the "Tales of" games meant. And the person behind the video said that Tales of Hearts was actually pretty similar to Kingdom Hearts, in that Tales of Hearts deals with hearts, but not the blood pumping organ, but more the spirit/emotions of a person. And ever since then, I'd kind of wanted to check it out, in obviously being a Kingdom Hearts fan, and now I'm finally here). And it's really good so far!

[strnsvt]

vernon chwe — a twist in cupid's tale.

as you smoothly matched people, your reputation as a talented cupid increased. you were popular, known as the matchmaker at your campus.

a day took an unexpected turn when a request landed on your desk, and your heart skipped a beat — it was from mingyu, your own secret crush.

mingyu asked you to set him up with a girl. caught between the professional duty of a matchmaker(as you would call yourself) and the ache in your own heart, you reluctantly agreed — even if it meant you being left heartbroken.

in the hushed library, vernon called your name multiple times, the librarian casting disapproving glances. you looked up at him, seeing vernon approach and sit beside you, a concerned expression on his face, "what's wrong?" he asks quietly.

you don't respond. looking at the book in front of you blankly. you really wished to bang your head on the desk in front of you.

"don't do that,"

"...did i say that out loud?"

vernon was your best friend. even if you didn't say that out loud, he could've definitely guessed. "don't hurt that forehead of yours and tell me what happened,"

you sighed, the weight of the evening pressing on you. "it's mingyu," you finally confessed, your voice barely above a whisper, "he asked me to set him up with this girl, and i...i agreed, even though..."

vernon's gaze softened, understanding the unspoken pain in your words. "even though it hurts?" he finished for you, his hand gently squeezing your shoulder. a part of him feeling bad for you. but most of him was glad. well. because.

"he's always been oblivious," you admitted, a mix of frustration and sadness in your voice. "and now, i have to watch him with someone else, all in the name of being a matchmaker, and..."

"and?"

you sigh again "i invited both of them to jackson's party,"

"the one this friday?"

you nod, a sad expression still on your face. "i thought it would be the right thing to do, you know? professional and all. but now, i have to face watching mingyu with somebody other than me,"

him and you don't say anything for a moment — vernon not knowing how to comfort you, and you choosing to be quiet instead of ranting more about mingyu.

vernon clears his throat before speaking again "hey,"

"hm?"

"jackson invite me to his party,"

"me too," you say, dropping your head on the desk, "i don't wanna go,"

"why not?"

"why should i? to see my crush getting with someone that's not me?"

"right..."

"so yes, im going,"

vernon chuckles at you and you turn your head to look at him.

"you're really gonna go?" vernon questions.

"really, yes, i will go. i'll stay with you. so distract me from them,"

-

it felt like no time when friday night arrived, the thumping music and lively chatter enveloping.

"vernon..."

"yeah?"

vernon tracked your gaze, spotting mingyu with his date by the bar, engaged in laughter and conversation. catching your eye, mingyu offered a thumbs up to you, which you mirror with a sad smile. "hey, y/n," you avert your gaze from them, looking at vernon.

"vernon, i think i need some alchohol in my system,"

"no, you don't. look, there's guys over there playing truth or dare, let's join them," vernon suggested, trying to shift your focus from mingyu and the situation at hand, but failed as you chose truth and they asked you who your crush is.

you left the game, and walked up to the bar, sitting on the stool, asking for some alcohol. "y/n, no," vernon followed.

"truth or dare can be brutal, especially when the truth hits close to home,"

"alcohol won't solve anything,"

"ma'am, here is-"

"vernon, i just need a moment-," you say, taking the glass of drink from the guy in front of you.

"you can't drink, y/n," vernon snatches the glass from your hand.

"vernon, what-" you couldnt say the next words. you couldn't even process for a few seconds. its when you realize — his lips where on yours.

he pulls away, it hits you — your best friend just kissed you.

vernon looks at you, his eyes searching for a reaction. your mind races as you process what just happened. the noise of the party fades into the background, and all you can feel is the lingering warmth of his unexpected kiss.

"vernon, what...?" you manage to stammer, a mix of surprise and confusion in your voice.

he meets your gaze, his expression a blend of uncertainty and sincerity. "i couldn't stand seeing you like this, y/n. i couldn't let you drown your feelings in alcohol, i care about you too much,"

"i...i didn't expect this," you admit, your heart still racing.

"me neither," vernon replies, running a hand through his hair.

the clamor of the party gradually seeps back into your consciousness, yet the world feels subtly altered. mingyu and his date remain at the bar, but your attention has undergone a transformative shift.

[amethystarachnid]

LITTLE STAR

⤷ STEVE G. ROGERS

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Pairing: Steve G. Rogers x fem!reader

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Genre: angsty (ok, a lot of angst) romance and tiny bit of fluff

ᯓᡣ𐭩 AU: Steve is born in the 21st century and isn't a superhero, basically the world is like ours

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Story type: one shot

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Word count: 4.1 K

ᯓᡣ𐭩 TW(s): talks of death, domestic abuse, deadbeat father, a lot of angst, I know nothing about football so incorrect football things.

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Request: Hi! | have a request for a story for Steve Rogers x female character. The genre would be romance but it would be very angsty/sad but with a happy ending. (the request is longer but if I write it here it'll spoil the story)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Comment if you want to be added to the taglist (specify if you want the everything taglist or for a specific character)

ᯓᡣ𐭩 Songs & Superheroes tales — The Game (to make a request, follow the rules on the link!)

Seven years ago

“48…49…50! I’ll find you, Y/N!” Steve says as he turns around from the tree he was facing, his eyes scanning the small park, trying to find where you were hiding. You have always been good at this game, but he was always better.

“Found you!” Steve says as he sees you crunching down in the little house on the slide.

“How can you always find me?!” You sigh and sit down on the dirty wood of the Colorful House,that’s how you both called it even though with the years it had lost most of its color, leaving only some red and some blue here and there.

“I already checked your other favorite places, so the Colorful house was the only place left.” Steve explains proudly as he sits down next to you.

“Next time I’ll be the one counting and I’ll find you in less than five seconds!” You pout, but the smile comes back on your face when a certain thought crosses your mind, “Are you excited to start middle school, Stevie?”

The boy shrugs his shoulders, “it’s just school.”

“No it isn’t! It’s the big kids’ school!” You were excited, like really excited. You, who usually hate school, haven't stopped talking about middle school since the start of summer break. You have already bought all the supplies you needed and more.

“It will all be the same, study, more study and study even more!” Steve sighs, you give him a playful nudge with your elbow.

“You say that only because you’ll have less time to play football.” Football has always been Steve’s sport, he liked and he was damn good at it.

“Maybe.” Steve gave you a small smile.

Three years later

“Stevie? What’s this?” You ask, confused, as you look at the big truck in front of Steve’s house, two men are putting boxes in it.

Steve flinches when hearing his name, he didn’t want her to see this, “Y/N! I can…can explain…”

“Are you moving out? Without telling me?” Your voice is barely a whisper as you look up at your best friend, he has gotten taller over the years and his first muscles started to show thanks to his football training.

“No! I mean yes but-“ Steve sighs and takes a deep breath, “Remember my dream school?”

“Of course.” How could you forget? He always talks about it, it’s a private high school in San Francisco that’s literally connected – for lack of better terms – with a college there. Basically, after you finish high school you already have a seat ready for you in the college, which is one of the best in the country.

“Well, I got offered a sports scholarship to go there!” Steve sounds so happy about that, are you a bad friend because you aren't happy for him? Are you selfish? Probably yes, because the only thing that you can think about right now is how he’s going to leave you alone.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You can barely hear yourself now. Did he think that you would try and make him stay? Well…That’s what you want to do, but you don't want to be a shitty friend, you don't want Steve to abandon his dream for you. Because that’s the thing in your friendship: if you were to ask Steve to not go to San Francisco he would drop everything and stay with you.

“I wanted to tell you, really but…I didn’t know how to tell you without upsetting you.”

Translation: if you were upset you’d ask me to stay, I’d stay because I hate seeing you upset, but I don’t want to stay because this is my dream.

“I am upset, no point in lying, it’s just…I would’ve told you if I were in your place.” You sit down on the porch of Steve’s house.

“I know, I’m sorry…” Steve sits down next to you and, as always, you can’t bring yourself to stay mad at him.

“I already forgave you,” You smile softly as you shrug your shoulders, “so, when do you have to leave?”

“The day after tomorrow.” Now it’s Steve’s voice that’s a mere whisper. The day after tomorrow? And when was he planning on telling me? When he was already on the plane? God knows how much you want to tell him all your thoughts, but you have only a few hours left to spend together and you don't want to spend them fighting on not talking to each other.

“Then why are we sitting here?” You ask, standing up and holding out your hand towards your best friend, “Let’s spend as much time as we can together!”

Steve smiles up at you and grabs your hand, pulling himself up, “I like your plan.”

During the next day you two did everything you could think of: you skated together, had a sleepover, you even made bracelets for each other – the one Steve made for you said ‘Little star’ because that’s how he liked to call you, while the bracelet you made for him said ‘Stevie’.

“But will you come back during the holidays?” You ask, Steve stands next to his father’s car, Steve’s mom will drive her son and husband to the airport: Steve’s dad will stay with him for a few weeks until he’s gotten used to San Francisco, then Steve will move in his dorm at the school and his dad will come back.

“I promise.” Steve smiles down at you and throws his arms around your waist while you hug his neck, “take care, little star.”

“You too, Stevie, I’ll miss you.” You kiss his cheek and blink back the tears, you don’t want to cry right now, one of your last memories with Steve won’t be a sad one.

“I’ll miss you too.” And with that, Steve enters the car, before he could do something stupid like kissing you. Once in the car, though, he sees how sad you looked and he sighs, fuck it. He gets out of the car and hugs you again.

“I’ll miss you, Y/N, but I don’t want to leave with regrets.” Before you can ask him what he means he presses his lips on yours. It’s just a quick peck, an innocent kiss between thirteen years old, but you feel your heart explode. “I’ll become the best football player ever, I’ll make money and then we’ll go live together on a mountain, like you always wanted…Just, wait for me.”

You smile up at him and nod, “I’ll wait for you.”

Present day

Steve didn’t hold his promise. It was always his parents going to San Francisco for the holidays and never him coming back to Brooklyn. For three years you didn’t hear from each other, it may seem a short time for people that knew each other since birth but a lot can change in three years, even more than Steve ever thought was possible.

He gets out of the car, parking it in front of his childhood house: he was back in Brooklyn for his last year of high school.

“Y/N changed her house a lot.” He says towards his parents as he looks towards what used to be your childhood home, now a different color and without the front porch.

“Oh no, they don’t live there anymore.” His mom explains, “after Y/N’s mom died they moved into an apartment on the other side of the city.”

“What?” Steve feels like a cold water bucket has just been thrown over his head, “Y/N’s mom died?” She was young and healthy though.

“Yes, two years ago, she had a heart attack, Y/N asked us to not tell you.”

“Why?” His mom shrugs her shoulders, then puts a hand on Steve’s shoulder with a soft smile.

“It hasn’t been easy for her, but from what I know she goes to the same school you’ll go from tomorrow, try and talk to her.” She squeezes his shoulder, “You’re her best friend after all, aren’t you?”

Am I? Steve thinks, I wasn’t by her side when her mom died, I haven’t seen in three years…Are we really more than strangers?

“Why are they all staring at me?” Steve asks Bucky, one of his childhood friends, as they walk in the hallways of Brooklyn’s high school.

“Because you’re the handsome new guy.” Bucky explains as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world.

“But I’m not actually new, I’m sure I went to middle school with at least fifteen people in this hallway.”

“But you’re not the same Steve Rogers that left three years ago, you look like a fucking closet man.” Bucky chuckles, but it’s the truth, Steve had gotten taller and very muscular in only three years.

“I guess you’re right.” Steve can’t help the smirk forming on his lips, he reaches his locker, before he can open it though he notices a girl standing on the locker next to his. That girl is you, but he recognizes you only after you close your locker. You look the same as three years ago and another completely different person at the same time. Obviously you are older, and that shows on your features, and you are even more beautiful than the last time he saw you.

“Y/N!” He says with a bright smile on his face, your eyes widen when you recognize him but quickly you look down and walk away, completely ignoring him.

“Don’t mind her, she hasn’t been the same since her mom died.” Bucky explains, “she doesn’t speak to anyone, is always late to school and never has money for lunch, I buy it for her sometimes but I’m not even sure if she actually eats it.”

“What happened to her?” Steve whispers as he looks at you entering your next class, which, coincidentally, is the one he has next too. He walks in the class and smiles when he sees that the seat next to you is free.

“Y/N, it’s me, Steve.” He says as he sits next to you. You could ignore him, look away, hell, even change seat, but hearing his voice so close after three years made your heart swell and clench at the same time. What is he doing here? You couldn’t help but ask yourself that, shouldn’t he be doing his last year in San Francisco? Did he change his mind?

“Yeah, I know, I’ve heard the whispers, everyone’s talking about you.” You shrug your shoulders, acting like the only thing you want to do isn’t throw yourself in his arms and feel some comfort for the first time in years.

“It’s the first time we see each other in three years and that’s the first thing you say to me?”

“And who’s fault is that?”

“Listen, I’m sorry for never coming back in Brooklyn during the last years but I’m here now can’t we just-”

“Class’s starting." You interrupt him and point at the teacher who just walked in the classroom. Steve scoffs but turns his attention to the teacher.

After a while he hands you a piece of paper with ‘you know I don’t give up easily’ written on it.

Soon you feel like you have another shadow, a shadow that’s taller and bigger than you. Steve follows you everywhere he can and he’s always trying to make you open up, trying to bring your friendship back.

“Are you going to follow me home too?” You snap at Steve when the last bell rings.

“Do you want me to? I haven't seen your new house yet.” He says, putting his backpack on one shoulder.

“And you never will.” You answer harshly, showing him the small and dirty apartment where you lived would be too embarrassing.

Steve shrugs your answer off, “You’re lucky I have practice today.” He’s on the school football team and they couldn’t be happier.

“Why did you come back from San Francisco?” You can’t help but ask, why would someone ever leave that place?

“Had a fight with a boy who was harassing a girl, turns out it was the principal’s son.” Steve shakes his head, “immediate expulsion.”

Why did his answer hurt? Were you hoping he’d say something like ‘I missed you’? How stupid of you, he didn’t even call in three years. You nod and turn away, walking towards your house. The same house that was barely a home, more like a prison. It wasn’t the outside of the building the problem, and not even the small apartment itself, the problem was the man who lived with you. Your father, at least, who he should be. To you, ever since your mother’s death, it felt like living with a stranger.

“Dad, I’m home.” You shout as you open the door to the apartment on the second floor. Silence. Silence is the only thing that you can hear, and you couldn’t be happier: silence means that he isn’t at home, which also means he’s probably out drinking and will come back in the evening highly drunk. But that will be a problem for future you, for now you lay on your bed, doing your homework. You even take a small nap.

Your small time in paradise ends as you’re cooking dinner and the door opens. Your dad walks inside, crawling his feet on the ground, with an empty bottle of beer in his hand.

“Oh, you’re cooking, I see you’ve learned your lesson.” At his words your mind flies to the bruise on your stomach, but you quickly shake your head.

“Yeah, I’m cooking some soup.” You close your eyes, breaching yourself for the storm that is about to come.

“Soup? You know I hate soup!” He says as he starts getting angry, which definitely isn’t a good thing.

“I noticed that soup was the only thing we had when it was too late to go to the store.” You admit, already feeling the pain of the hit when he didn’t even hit you, yet.

“Useless as always!” He shouts and throws the empty glass bottle of beer at your legs. You damn yourself in your mind for deciding to wear shorts when you feel the glass against your bare legs, leaving cuts behind. You don’t dare to flinch or even make a little sound, though, knowing that it would only make him more mad.

“I’m sorry…” You whisper as you place two plates of soup on the table, “I’ll go grocery shopping tomorrow.”

“You better, I’m not eating this shit.” Your father throws his plate with soup on the ground, breaking it in tiny little pieces. He’s worse than a toddler. You get up from your chair and start cleaning immediately, knowing that if you didn’t he would only get worse. You ignore the pain from the fresh cuts on your legs and pick the ceramic shatters from the ground, the soup on the ground wetting your slippers.

“I can’t cook anything else for you though…” You whisper, not even scared anymore, simply resigned and used to it.

You know that he could misunderstand every word you say.

You know he could hit you anytime.

You know you don’t have a choice but endure it till you’re done with high school.

You know you have to wait another nine months for that.

“You stupid bitch! Your mom would have never done this!” Your heart clenches at his words. How dare he talk about her, when he was the cause of her death?

“Don’t talk about her, you can’t.” You glare at him as you stand up, throwing the ceramic shatters you had just collected on the ground again.

“I can’t? And why can’t I?” He walks towards you, his big frame making you feel small and vulnerable, but not in a good way.

“You killed her!” You shout at him, tears starting to blur your vision, but you blink them back: you won’t cry in front of him. It’s basically telling him that you’re scared.

And you would never admit that.

“It wasn’t me who killed her, it was you! You killed your own mother!” You know that he’s trying to manipulate and gaslight you, but at the same time you have heard that sentence so much that you were starting to believe it.

Maybe if you were a better daughter she would still be alive.

Maybe if you were more independent she would still be with you.

Maybe. Maybe. Maybe.

Maybe your mother is happier now. Wherever she is now she doesn’t have to look after an incompetent man who can’t even cook for himself, she doesn’t have to stay up until sunrise to make sure he doesn’t come to your room when drunk.

Maybe it’s for her best that she’s dead now.

“NO! You killed her because she was always so busy looking after you that she barely had time to look after herself, she never had the time to even do a check up!” You shout at him, tears rolling down your cheeks freely. “She died because you wouldn’t even pick up your own nose from the ground-” You let out a banshee-level scream as you feel the ceramic sink into your shoulder.

He stabbed you with a piece of ceramic from the plate.

Your father.

Your daddy, the same man who played princess tea party with you when you were four. The same man who checked under your bed for monsters every night for years.

You almost laugh when you realize you can’t remember any happy memories with your dad after your tenth birthday.

Two weeks later.

Luckily, the nurses believed you when you told them that you were taking a plate from a high shelf and it fell and broke on your shoulder. Steve, on the other hand…

“Tell me what happened.” Steve says as he sits next to you inside the Colorful House in the park.

“You follow me outside of school too, now?” You say annoyed.

“This was your favorite place to hide when we were kids, I see it didn’t change.” There’s a sad smile on his face, then he turns to you, “I don’t believe that a plate fell on you, tell me the truth.”

“It is the truth.” You roll your eyes, he sighs and his eyes fall on your wrist.

“You aren’t wearing your bracelet anymore.” He notices for the first time, you hide your wrist with your other hand.

“It broke.” My dad broke it. “You aren’t wearing it either.”

“I was worried it would break so I transformed it into a necklace.” He pulls down the collar of his shirt, revealing the letters that you used to make his bracelet, ‘Stevie’.

“Oh.” It’s the only thing you can say as you try to ignore the feeling of butterflies in your stomach. Neither of you has spoken about what happened before he left, but it’s time to talk about the elephant in the room.

Or literally anything but your dad.

“You kissed me before leaving and then you never came back, you never even called!” You say.

“What? I called almost every day!” You look at him confused at his words, “I knew you didn’t have a phone so I called the only number I remembered: your father’s.”

“That explains a lot of things…” You look down at your feet, Steve had called your father and he never told you anything? Why?

“He told me you didn’t want to talk to me or that you weren’t home, after a while I think he blocked my number, I didn’t have any other way to contact you and I simply thought you…didn’t want to hear from me…”

You look at him with a sad look, “He never told me about your calls.”

“What? Why?”

“Who knows what goes on in his sick mind.” Without even realizing your hand goes to the injury on your shoulder, and that’s when Steve understands.

“It was him, he gave you that scar.”

You nod, your eyes filling with tear, “Stabbed me with a piece of ceramic from a broken plate”

“Y/N that’s sick! Why didn’t you feel the truth at the hospital? Or to a teacher or…or…or to me…” His voice gets quieter towards the end of the sentence.

You shrug your shoulders, “I only have to endure it another few months, then I’ll leave and never come back.”

“How long has this been going on?” Steve gently wraps an arm around your shoulders, careful on the scar, and pulls you towards his chest. You bury your face in his broad chest and finally let go, crying against him. When was the last time you felt free to cry? At your mother’s funeral probably.

“Since my mother’s death.” You look up at him, placing your chin on his chest, comforted by his hold and the look of his eyes you decide to tell him the whole truth. “She died of a heart attack, that’s true, but you know what caused the heart attack?” You take a deep breath, “Exhaustion, overworking, call it however you like but truth is she was like my father’s slave — your heart falls in pronouncing those words — he made her work so much that in the end her heart couldn’t take it anymore.”

“Oh, Y/N…” Steve places a hand on the back of your head and cradles your head against his chest, kissing your forehead.

“And now he’s doing the same to me, I have to do everything in the house and if I don’t…” You can’t even finish the sentence as your body shakes with sobs.

“I’ll get you out of there, I promise.” Steve continues repeating soothing words to your ear and kissing your hair, you slowly calm down and look up at him, feeling like a huge weight has been lifted off your chest.

“Thank you.” You say softly.

“No need to thank me, I would do anything for you.”

“So…” A grin forms on your face as you push any thought regarding your father away, “What about that kiss?”

Steve laughs, “Well, my offer to go live on a mountain is still up if you want.”

“Like, best friends living together?”

“What if I want us to be more than best friends?” His eyes fall on your lips.

“Then I’d tell you that I want the same.” You press your lips on his, it’s a gentle and soft kiss. Just like Steve.

“I love you, damn I’ve loved you since we were kids.” You smile at his words.

“I love you too.”

Months later

There are only a few days left until graduation, until you can finally leave the hell that was supposed to be your home.

“Hello Mrs. Rogers.” You greet Steve’s mom as she opens the door. Since you and Steve started dating your presence has become almost constant at house Rogers, just like when you were a kid.

“Oh Y/N, Steve’s in his room.” She greets you with a hug. “I’m so happy that you are his girlfriend, I always knew you two would end up together.” You smile and before she can start planning your wedding you run to Steve’s room where he’s sitting on the bed.

“I know that look, you need to tell me something.” You give him a peck on the lips as a greeting.

“Yes and it’s big happy news.”

“Tell me everything big boy.” You know he hates that nickname, and that’s exactly why you keep calling him that.

“I got a call from the coach of an important Football team, I’ll spare you the details because I know you understand nothing of Football, but…” he takes your hands in his, “They want me in the team! I’m going pro on one of the best teams in the U.S.!” It’s true, you understand nothing of football but the excitement in his face and tone is hard to resist.

“This is fantastic! I’m so happy for you!” You throw your arms around his neck and hug him tightly.

“I want you to come with me.” He says as he cups your face in his hands. “Come live with me, there’s a great college near where I’ll have to stay, you can study there! It isn’t a mountain but it’ll keep you away from your dad.”

Only now you notice that you’re both crying, and for the first time in years yours are happy tears.

“I would love that.”

“Really?!” He kisses you again and again, laying you down on the bed between your laughs.

“I can’t wait to see you at my games, you’ll come see them right?”

“I won’t miss a single one.” You smile as he kisses your jaw. “I’ll be your lucky charm.” You chuckle.

“You’re better than my lucky charm, you’re my little star, the light of my life.”

You kiss him with a smile. He keeps calling you his star, but little does he know that he’s the sun of your life.

Your savior, the man who will take you away from you father.

The man you love.

Like, comments and reblogs are highly appreciated, but don’t feel forced to!

[silverskye13]

I'm curious- though if this is a spoiler obv feel free to not answer- but I'm curious what changed for wels between tanguish's two encounters :0 like sure he'd said he stopped (or thought he stopped anyway) tanguish from jumping off the aquaduct simply bc falling is the worst way to go, but he also didn't seem too keen on killing him regardless- and then the second time he sees tanguish it's on sight. Is it simply bc he dared show up again, or was there something else that caused the change? :0

I blinked and suddenly there was a drabble here. Whoops!

Hels was such a forgettable place, was the problem. Forgettable concept. People. Thing. Existence. It was too far away. Too abstract. {Until it wasn't, of course.}

Hels had started as just a him issue. His other half. His demon. That's what they were, really, at the end of the day: demons. And he had the first one. Or at least he had the first one on Hermitcraft. And he was a devil of a demon. It was all fun and games at first. Rap battles. Stupid little spats. Arguing the ideas of knighthood. His demon was always meant to lose. That's how demons went. They crawled out of the dark, harassed you a little, and then you vanquished them. Sure, their world was devoid of true death, permanent death, but banishing a demon to hels surely sufficed.

But his demon kept coming back.

Worse. He kept coming back stronger.

Welsknight didn't know much about demons, except that he had one, and in all the books and knights' tales they were supposed to be vanquishable, but his demon wasn't following the rules. Or his demon was making his own rules. Or all those stories lied. {Or the demon was right, and he wasn't actually a loyal, brave and true knight, but demons lied. That's what they did. So that couldn't be true. Could it?}

This was all getting rather complicated, and it really wasn't supposed to be.

Anyway the point of all this was, as was the nature of all personal calamities, Welsknight forgot other people could struggle. Forgot other demons existed. Forgot hels was a place. And places make people and people make places, and if everyone has a struggle then everyone can have a demon, he wasn't special. This wasn't a persecution just for him, just to prove he was worthy, prove he was a knight {and he wouldn't be upset about that, because that would be horrible. Imagine being the only man alive with a personal demon! There are some things that go beyond feats of chivalrous glory and straight to self flagellation and he wasn't going to do that.}

Anyway. Meeting his personal demon on the road, and finding he didn't stand there alone, had been something. Mostly it had been a reminder: hels is a place, you're not alone and that's bad.

Then he'd seen the creature again. Not his demon. The other demon. And that was very bad. Whose demon was it? What was it doing here? And more importantly: how much worse would it get? Because his demon got worse. His demon got much, much worse.

His demon had started as a soft, bitter voice in the back of his head. And then it was a loud, bitter voice. And then a compliant, living one. One that would humor his explorations into why a demon would even persecute him in the first place. One that grew tired of those games with startling rapidity. One that looked at him, a thing made to vanquish demons, and found him altogether unimpressive. More than that, it found him repulsive, but not in the way darkness is repulsed by light but in the way a tiger is repulsed by a songbird with a broken wing, something inherently beneath it, not worth its time.

What a miserable existence, that the nemesis the universe gives you finds you pathetic. Reminds you, at every turn, you're pathetic. A creature that looks like you, speaks like you, acts like you, that wishes with every fiber of its being it wasn't you. A creature made in your image to hate you. And you aren't even worth its time.

And it will only ever get worse.

He thought he had it mastered, or at least cornered. Thought he had it shelved away where it could only harm him when he dragged it out. He nearly had it vanquished and then it walked into his world again unbidden and with company.

Well, he hadn't lied the day him and his demon had met. No one threatens his home. No one threatens his friends.

The Code of Chivalry is very clear.

Thou shalt make war against your enemy without cessation or mercy, for you are the defender of Light and Good in the face of Evil.

Even his demon's tenets demand a price in blood.

At his first meeting with the creature he stayed his hand, because it seemed weak, because it insisted it was harmless. But as it parted, it struck him where his armor was weakest.

You two really are a lot alike.

Welsknight was not his demon.

But he recognized its voice. The mockery of the face. He would warn Tango. And when Tango, like he had been, was clearly beguiled by this thing that pretended to be harmless, tried to protect it. When Tango fell to the same follies Welsknight had with his own creature, believing himself invincible in the face of something even the universe only halfway believed in. When Tango disregarded his advice, spurned his concerns, and continued on his reckless course, Welsknight knew what he had to do.

No crusade is ever undertaken lightly, but some things, for the good of all, must be done.

He just prays he isn't too late.

[qhazomb]

so i got two different versions of the "leviathan au." one where it's a whole different situation from regular (not-a-game) HLVRAI, in which gordon and benry first meet when gordon is test driving an experimental exploration sub for black mesa... and another one where it follows along with the regular not-a-game AUs, and the leviathan is benry's true form. this second version also follows my headcanon that benry really was 'born' in 1994 (and is just a year younger than gordon).

benry hatched from an egg that had crashed down onto earth over a hundred years ago, and the crator its impact made turned into a small lake over time.

(the entity that laid that egg had been... dealt with by the overly territorial mr. coolatta, along with the rest of the clutch. unfortunately for mr. coolatta, he missed one egg. and said egg would prove to be a major headache source for him yeaaaars in the future.)

in the early morning of january 1st, 1994, the egg finally hatched, and a little larval space squid dragon crawled out. he remained in that lake for five years, curious about the world and other creatures beyond its shore, but always too nervous to leave the safety of his cradle.

until one day, when a smaller version of some of the beings benry had sometimes seen hanging around the lake finally spotted him. and gave him a candy bar.

this version of the AU uses the whole 'gordon and benry really DID know each other as kids' idea, and in this case, they knew each other over the course of one summer. lil six-year-old gordon and his family were spending the summer at a relative's lakeside home, and while exploring the lake beach, gordon encounters and soon befriends a 'lake monster'. (all the adults of course write the kid's tales of his new lake monster friend as a child's wild imagination, naturally.)

communication between the two of them is at first pretty one-sided, which doesn't bug gordon much cause he's pretty sure his new friend 'Sparkly' is just an animal (monsters are a kind of animal, duh) so he's not expecting sparkly to understand him. gordon is at least able to understand how 'sparkly' is feeling, though, as the weird rainbow bubbles he sings out make gordon feel things that don't feel like his feelings. which he thinks is really weird but also kinda cool and he wishes his cat missy could do that.

benry is eventually able to finally really understand what gordon's saying, once he's able to briefly make a mental connection with the human. VERY briefly. just long enough to get an understanding of the following things:

the english language (at a six-year-old's level at least).

that his new friend's species are called humans.

that humans don't think things like him exist, and would freak out if proven otherwise. this is why gordon won't let benry follow him when the bigger humans call him to come back to the big boxy shelter.

video games are a thing and apparently super fun. benry would like to try video games. pushing buttons to make a lil guy on a picture box do stuff, as if you were the little guy. sounds neat!

if benry wants to do anything outside of his lake without having to hide all the time, he needs to look less like himself and more like a human (looking like a human will also make talking like one easier. can't really form a lot of the sounds they make with just a beak.)

unfortunately, this didn't happen until like a day or two before gordon had to go back home. but gordon told benry that he'd be back next year! he'll think up a ton of new stuff for them to do until then!

...doubly unfortunately, sometime late fall of that year, black mesa finally finds benry and takes him down to their facility in new mexico. so the next year that gordon's family goes to visit at the lake in summer again, gordon gets no response when he calls out to 'sparkly,' no matter how many times he does. after a time he gives up, accepting that his lake monster friend is gone, and then eventually even forgets he ever existed, believing any memories to be imaginary friend stuff, like his mom and relatives always assumed.

benry didn't forget, though.

...but he did forget what he orginally looked like. not long after gordon's family left, benry got to work on practicing looking human. the hands were the easiest part, he already had hands like that, he just had to get rid of one finger (why humans only got five??). arms and torso were no biggie either, really. the hard part was the head and legs. legs weren't toooo hard to figure out, they were kind of like arms, sorta, but human heads and his head are SO different, like, wow. that took a while.

by the time black mesa had found him, he was looking mostly human. but not enough to trick anybody. especially not anybody with ways to detect the cosmic energy his body radiated.

black mesa never knew about benry's true form, as he never went back to it once during his captivity (and eventual employment for good behavior) at the facility, and eventually benry himself even forgot what he really looked like... which could possibly be blamed on some of the experiments conducted on him. his memory may be a bit wonk in some regards, but it's not THAT bad.

it's not until after the big beatdown in xen that he finally starts to remember... he respawns, but in that midform, rather than his usual human disguise form.

he's unable to try and shift further, as the 'containment' mr. coolatta mentioned turns out to be a whole new research facility that black mesa sold benry off to in order to secure extra funds for repairing and rebuilting their own labs.

this new place, Lancer Labs, seems to have gotten the same weird 'dampening field' that 'mesa had to keep benry's powers nerfed.

the scientists at lancer are also not as 'nice' as black mesa's, if you can believe that.

benry's stuck there for a year, being as uncooporative as he possibly can. lancer has been able to learn all they can from examining his body, but they have made like 0 progress with mental/behavioral studies, and they're starting to get real tired of benry's shit. so upon reviewing various files and reports they got from black mesa, including some recordings from during the rescas, the researchers at lancer labs get an idea for something that might finally get their prized specimen to stop being a stubborn ass.

in the middle of the night, gordon freeman is abducted from his own home.

they could tell from some of the rescas recordings, that benry seemed to be rather fond of the humans he was travelling with. lancer is going to use gordon as a barganing chip.

benry had become pretty listless and dejected during his new captivity, but seeing gordon get dragged into this shit was the kick in the pants his drive to escape needed. gordon may have been a big jerk, but he doesn't deserve being locked up in a lab for the simple crime of knowing benry.

benry just has to wait for the right moment to break outta here....

[shiny-jr]

RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH I literally cannot put into words how much I loved the latest Damnation au chapter- I was literally seconds away from putting my phone down to get back to work but as soon as I saw a glimpse of the fic, I just couldn't help but put everything on hold

I was really impressed with how you included Epel into the story in a way that just about correlated to Epel in canon (like how he was actively opposed to hit position in the castle). Like taking into consideration of the time period and the possible reasons why Epel would be relevant there in the first place despite not being in the original tale- SO WELL DONE!! Not to mention Vil going out of his way to find potential successors really emphasizes his hatred for Neige (poor guy😭) Also the way you write about Rook??? I knew he'd be creepy but gyat damn your writing only increased the feeling of it ten-fold. Especially in that scene after he climbed through the window and interrupted MC and Vil- Literally foaming at the mouth i was like 'holy crap this is it, we're gonna get exposed' cause aint no way Rook WOULDN'T know. Everything about him was unnerving yet so charming?? I really don't know how you do it but the way you just write them is just so accurate👏

As a Vil simp, every scene with him in it had be giggling and kicking my feet✨ I was pleasantly surprised with his advances towards the MC though- like hubba hubba... I ain't complaining though! The tension in those scenes were just *chefs kiss* Every moment with him just oozed authority and power, like I'd be on the edge of my metaphorical seat just waiting for the moment he calls out the MC

Like holy crap you really know how to set your scenes- like legit every time I Rook or Vil were in a scene, it genuinely felt tense. Also props to MC for looking out for #1 (themselves) even at the expense of ruining someone else

Anyway excuse my rambling lmao i'm definitely gonna be re-reading it again ^^

Sounds like another happy reader. And yes, Epel's part was difficult. Mainly because, well, Epel is based off the poisoned apple, so how is he supposed to play that role? In my mind, the poisoned apple is a tool used by the Evil Queen. So, what is similar to a tool? A person to manipulate, which is how I came up with the idea of heir. Combined with the fact that Vil obviously takes a shine to Epel, as he spends time meticulously perfecting his habits and mannerisms in-game. Which fit the scenario I was to use, of a King claiming an heir and drilling instructions and behaviors in their mind to manipulate.

Rook and Vil were easy to place into roles, due to who they're based off of. But it was difficult coming up with scenes for them, since the Huntsman and Evil Queen don't have a lot in the movies. Especially the Huntsman.

For Rook, I actually considered writing a scene were MC followed him as he scoped out the meadow or the moment when Rook was to escort Neige to the meadow, but ultimately I decided against that as it would overcomplicate the plot and give more time to Neige instead of Rook. I needed a way to properly portray Rook's watchfulness and the unease it spawns, which I figured should fit the setting. A carefully worded conversation knit of lies and unsaid threats and fears is much more effective when the reader is picturing hollowed stone halls of a palace instead of a colorful meadow. At least, that was my thought process there, which is why most interactions with Rook are in settings such as those.

And finally, Vil, who I decided to write a few more interesting scenes for purely because I know a good amount of my followers love that pretty man. There were multiple concepts and scrapped ideas I've already forgotten by now, different things that never made it to my keyboard, like a tense dinner scene and back-and-forth bickering. But some of those just didn't fit the feeling I wanted, or was out of character for either the MC or others.

Anyways, now I'm rambling. Sorry. I hope the second read was just as enjoyable as the first!

[whispering-about-the-tmnt]

I know Leo is your favorite. I am curious what’s your opinion on Raph?

I love him! I actually love all the guys pretty much equally, it's just that I love Leo a tiny bit more.

The thing about Raph, though, is in some of the iterations he is reduced down to a base "angry guy" personality; and I prefer it when the writers tell us why he is angry, and show more aspects of who he is.

For example, the "why" being, as Splinter put it in my story "Something Wicked", when Raph got angry and punches things after... well, that's a spoiler:

"I am sorry if someone has hurt you in their anger," he said, placing his touch on the teen's arm. "But I swear to you that Raphael would never do so. He is first and foremost a protector, and he believes at this moment that he has failed in that charge. Would you feel any different, if one person you loved was missing, and two others unwell?"

He wants to protect people; that is his primary personality trait, not "angry guy". That is doubtless why he became Nightwatcher in the 2007 movie. It wasn't because he wanted to go out there bashing heads in (that was just a bonus), it was because he wanted to protect people, and when Leo left they stopped doing that. Interestingly, the things that Leo found distasteful about the Nightwatcher were very much the same things that Leo himself was doing in the jungle in South America, but it seems that Raph was actually more conscious of not killing anyone in the process (you can't tell me that Leo let that guy in the Jeep actually live... not with that blood-curdling scream).

But, yeah, Raph and Leo are actually very much alike in that they are protectors of others, except that Leo goes about it very differently. The jungle example notwithstanding, in most versions Leo is the big brother that goes to his younger sibling's bullies and gives them a calm warning; Raph is the big brother that goes to his younger sibling's bullies and pushes them against the wall and tells them to back the hell off or deal with him... then he goes home and smacks the younger sibling across the head.

He can be very soft when he wants to be, though, so those soft moments have much more of an impact. Like in Tales Of Leo in 2k3, when he was the only one to cry when he told his story; or in both Bayverse and MM when he confessed his love for his brothers when he thought they were all going to die; or how well he got along with little Yoshi in TMNT 3; or when, in the 2007 movie, he told Splinter about Leo getting taken; or in Batman Vs. TMNT when he lectured Batman about the importance of family. But one of the most heart-wrenching moments had to be in Same As It Never Was when he was dying and used his last ounces of strength to crawl to Leo's side.

And as I said, I love it when his other interests are put on display. Like when he is shown knitting and carving in Bayverse, or working on his bike in 2k3, or playing video games with the guys in whatever iteration. In the future world of the TMNT Archie run, he is shown to be married and runs a restaurant where he is the chef. And though it is not an interest, knowing that he is afraid of insects makes him seem more down-to-earth and less of just the tough turtle.

Some of his "traits", I must admit, are simply headcanons to me. Because of his protective nature, I like to think of him as a gifted medic (albeit one whose bedside manner could use some working on), whose medical knowledge is second only to Don's. Also, I picture him being able to speak Spanish, which he learned by hanging out with people in the Bronx (also where he picked up his distinct-in-the-family accent). Both of those things, again, I wrote into "Something Wicked", which even has a whole chapter about Raph called "The Protector".

So, yeah, I think Raph is awesome! I just wish we could see more of it onscreen, you know? I am really looking forward to how Tales Of The TMNT utilizes him!

Anyways, thank you for the ask! Sorry the answer was so long!

[halfamask]

Soft gentle life between dark signers and Grand Prix headcannons of the garage apartment boys who absolutely do not know how to live a soft, normal life. (Inspired by that one filler episode of jack trying to a get a job)

- Yusei does most of the cooking because while the other two can scrape together a meal they either put together the bare minimum for nutrition (chicken and rice with a veggie smoothie style) or go absolutely ham with sweets and expensive products and he cannot live with that. Plus he enjoys cooking because once you figure out the basics you can get creative and trial and error and It’s kind of like working on his bike.

- They really lean into the bachelor pad lifestyle thing. The most expensive things in the apartment are their duel runners and their video game console for the tv. They have a shabby beat up couch but sit on the floor half the time anyways. Jack insists on having one spot he likes on the couch be “his” spot and Crow and sometimes Yusei will run, like literally haul ass, to the couch to sit in that spot and piss him off.

- They have had physical altercations over this spot.

- They don’t bother with bed frames and just toss mattresses on the floor of their one bedroom. They tend to have their fair share of nightmares, especially Yusei dreaming about his duels with Kalin, but when one of them wakes up in a cold sweat one of the other two will undoubtedly be up out of bed making them their favorite tea (akiza put them onto tea it’s doing wonders but only jack will admit to liking it). Sometimes yusei’s nightmares will get so bad that jack and crow wil say fuck it, move their mattresses to his, and use the warmth of their bodies and the weight of their arms around his to get him to feel secure enough that he’ll finally rest, physically knowing that his friends are ok and alive and literally on him. When they wake up no one mentions that they’ve been three way spooning the whole night basically.

- Jack is such a coffee snob and will treat the boys to the best beans and a nice espresso machine which crow thinks is the hugest waste of money ever but uses more than he does (because he is perpetually tired from work)

- It takes a second for Jack and Crow to get used to Leo, Luna, and Akiza just coming over to talk to Yusei or hang out. Leo immediately closes the gap by gushing to Jack, well, about himself, and Jack’s soon regaling him with tales of his best duels and Crow’s competing by telling him about his run ins with sector security (only the PG stuff) and teaching him to build things. Jack eventually forms a connection with Luna and Akiza because he gets what it’s like to be more reserved but still be dramatic and have a rich life and eventually they’re talking about dueling or books (for some reason I headcannon jack as the biggest reader of the three but also that Luna loves to read) or things to do in new domino.

- They also have chill table top duels with Leo, Luna, and Akiza and Jack and Crow are surprised when Luna and Akiza give them a run for their money. (Sorry Leo but Luna’s the dueling prodigy).

- The three boys will have their own three way duel game nights. These inevitably end in them physically tussling around the living room.

- Yusei and Crow have to make a chore chart bc Jack never wants to do household chores (living with Goodwin’s funding made him mad spoiled) Jack will do the chores when put up to it but by god will he complain and trash talk then the whole time.

- They don’t talk about Kalin a lot. Or about those years when he was locked up and the three were living separately. It’s still obviously in the air, noticeable when Crow and Yusei go visit different groups of people in the Satellite and Jack stays with Martha basically the whole time. The days they go to visit though, they finish off with a meal at Martha’s so filling their stomachs hurt and a ride back to new domino city that’s slower than they usually ride, like they’re savoring the existence of the bridge and prolonging their time on it for as long as possible.

[darkladylumiya]

My thoughts on Tales of the Empire

I'll start with my overall thoughts - the animation is really good, though at this point the contrast between more standard Clone Wars-style models and the more realistic ones who look like they could be from a video game is a bit jarring (though this could easily be a just me thing, I've not seen anyone else talk about this), the Barriss arc was way better than the Morgan Elsbeth one, which I doubt was a surprise to anyone, though I still have some issues with both. My big thing is that, compared to Tales of the Jedi, where we get little excerpts and character moments to fill out the characters and their progression through time, here Tales of the Empire is more or less our only source for info on these characters at this point in time. We know what happens with Dooku and Ahsoka in between their episodes - we have no clue what happened to Morgan to get her from Dathomir to running a planet for example, or how Barriss went from inquisitor to hermit healer (though this example is much less extreme).

Anyway, into the arcs proper. Get excited everyone, other force witch clans are back! Like the... checks notes Mountain clan. Not Singing Mountain. Just... Mountain. Cool, thanks Filoni. A decade later you finally make other Dathomiri clans canon, but you just shave a word off a name and now it's totally your own original idea, right? And don't worry, we'll have more totally original ideas from Filoni later, but first. Okay, the first episode is kinda like... a nothing episode. We end the episode with Morgan in the same position as she was halfway through, with a strange plot where Morgan immediately tries to seduce people to the Dark Side because... I don't know, she can? And again, we have no clue how she made it off planet. Dathomir doesn't exactly get a lot of space traffic, and apparently there are droid gunships still scouring the planet looking to kill literally any Nightsister left. Surely the first episode should have dealt with her getting off-planet? And not her sowing some dissent in a clan we've never met before and never see again? Some dissent which immediately ends and goes nowhere because most of them are now dead.

Anyway, next episode, she's in charge of a planet now because she has to be for The Mandalorian to still work - surely her getting to be in charge of a planet should have been an episode? Have the first one be her family getting killed and then her getting off-planet with some scavengers or pirates or whatever, the second episode is her rise to power over this planet and then the last is her meeting Thrawn? But sure, whatever, she's in charge already, cool. She's the designer of the TIE Defender, because they love beating my boy down. I'm not even going to ask how a Nightsister who has probably never even seen a starship before her clan got murdered figured out in the however many years it's been now knows how to design one of the best starfighters out there. Let's actually address that though - how many years has it been? The Battle of Dathomir was 20 BBY. The episode starts with a shot of Coruscant, where we see six Venators before finally an Imperial-class Star Destroyer appears. This implies to me that this has to be early on in the Empire, right? The first five years or so maybe? But then in Rebels season four there's an episode where they steal a TIE Defender prototype. So it took the Empire, or I guess Thrawn more specifically, at least seven years to go from design to a single test model? That's just strange to me, but who knows, it's been forever since I've seen that Rebels episode so maybe I'm just misremembering how they talked about it there. Anyway, the thing that truly got me was Pellaeon and Rukh. Fucking Rukh. But yeah, why was Eli Vanto not here but Pellaeon was? New canon more or less replaced Pellaeon's role with Vanto, so why is he not here now but Pellaeon is? My guess - because Filoni wanted to cover all the Thrawn bases. He read a brief summary of people and things associated with Thrawn in Legends and he put them all in one episode. We have Pellaeon, we have TIE Defenders, we have fUCKINg Rukh. I genuinely do not know why the FUCK Rukh is here.

Okay, let me explain. In the original Thrawn trilogy from the 90s, Rukh is Thrawn's personal bodyguard. Rukh is a Noghri, a species who regard Darth Vader as the savior of their people because their planet got nuked during the Clone Wars (it was an accident) and Vader came in and promised to help rebuild the planet, which he did. Very slowly, so the Noghri would always be indebted to him, because as it turns out they're very good assassins and commandos. But the important thing to note is that they're sworn to Vader, and serve him. Now in the books they work for Thrawn because they're more broadly sworn to the Empire, and after Vader is dead they end up working for Thrawn once he's in charge of the Empire. But Filoni doesn't care, the Noghri are associated with Thrawn and so here Rukh is as his bodyguard testing whether Morgan can fight. As soon as she got attacked, I immediately guessed it was going to be a Noghri, but once I saw the face of her attacker I was much less sure, because the head is completely wrong for a Noghri by the way, their head looks nothing like that. But anyway I lost it when Pellaeon said Rukh's name, because I knew I was fucking right. We're just pulling out all the sick Thrawn trilogy references, but not actually using these characters in any meaningful way - Rukh is here so his character page on Wookieepedia can have a canon tab now and so Filoni can show off his cred of pretending to have read a single book in his life. Oh yes, there is another thing Rukh is famous for by the way. KILLING THRAWN. I'm sure Filoni just forgot that little detail. Or who knows, maybe he'll just recreate it word for word at some point because he cannot do anything but steal from other people's work but do it in a worse and more amateurish way. I was so upset with Rukh being here with no explanation or justification I really did not care about anything else that happened in the rest of the arc. Thrawn shows up and recruits Elsbeth and then the third episode is just her killing a diplomat and burning a forest for no reason, yeah sure whatever who cares. I simply wish at some point there would be a notable character from Legends who is just... left there, and doesn't get dragged by cowboy hat man into whatever nostalgia bait ploy or attempt to pretend he has ever read a book, because the nostalgia bait doesn't work anymore. It just doesn't - it simply pisses me off. You're reminding me of better stories while I watch your lame shows, Filoni. Is that really what you want?

Ugh. Anyway, Barriss. I have a lot less to say because it's actually pretty good. I think it's way too short and she deserved way more screentime, or at the least not having to share an equal amount with Morgan Elsbeth (who I honestly forgot was even in the Mandalorian, I genuinely thought she was made up for the Ahsoka tv show for a while she's so forgettable). Anyway, the fundamental flaw is still that Barriss's massive heel-turn change of heart came out of nowhere and makes little sense with her character as established, so while this does a decent job at building upon that, it doesn't change that her arc in The Clone Wars makes no sense and was obviously chosen so that Ahsoka could be emotionally devastated by her best friend betraying her. A different complaint I then have is like... when did Barriss, woman who killed over a dozen people in a terrorist bombing, at least one of whom was someone she knew and liked, Barriss who murdered a woman in cold blood and purposefully framed her best friend so she could get away with this bombing, Barriss who convinces a wife to make her husband into a living bomb, Barriss who kills three clones with her friend's lightsabers to set her up even further and leads her purposefully where she has stashed more of the same bomb material, and indeed Barriss who kills someone who seemed to be her friend with the same technique she used to kill the woman who was about to rat her out - you want me to believe she suddenly has an issue with killing a village full of people? I'm sorry, but you have to actually explain how she sees this as different. Because you don't actually address at any point how she might feel about her terrorism now, or even what exactly her moral compass is. Killing innocents is good when she does it bad bad when it doesn't make the political statement she wants to make? I just don't get it. Anyway, final episode is the best of the series because it does the most to actually have a moral and message and actually does something pretty interesting? Whether she dies or not (I doubt she does personally), it's still an interesting setup for something else, either another season of this or a comic or book or whatever, to come back to and follow what the hell Lyn (and probably Barriss too) does now. I'm also glad Filoni finally remembered Barriss's specialty was healing actually, and not terrorism, even though we don't actually get to see her do any healing, with the Force or otherwise. Oh also, why does she look so old? It's like she aged 50 years over the course of 10? Like Lyn looks exactly the same but Barriss looks like she's 80. Idk, that was weird. Anyway I've rambled long enough, Filoni is still a hack who's never read a book in his life, but the Barriss stuff here was pretty good, at least somewhat enjoyable throughout. If you watch anything, watch that - all the Morgan Elsbeth stuff is terribly forgettable or outright frustrating.

5/6 edit: I’ve fixed Eli’s name (sorry Eli) and while it’s been pointed out to me that Rukh is in Rebels, a fact I was unaware of, I’m going to maintain the rant as it stands with this disclaimer here at the end - Rukh was in Rebels and was not originally added in this show. However, I still think his design sucks.

[ink-flavored]

Get to Know Your Moots Writeblr Interview

This looked fun, and I love answering lists of questions

Tagging: @foxys-fantasy-tales @noblebs @ceph-the-ghost-writer @auntdarth @damageinkorporated @srjacksin @wyked-ao3 @alesseia and anyone else who wants to do it!

Blank Questions for those who join me!

-

On the Tumblr Writing Community

How long have you had your writing Tumblr/Writeblr? A fast and loose estimate is fine!

I’ve been on Tumblr since 2014, but I didn’t make this writeblr sideblog until 2019.

What led you to create it?

Mainly because I crave organization, and I felt weird posting my fanfiction to a blog where I didn’t really talk about writing. Plus, I didn’t feel like anyone on my main would have been interested in hearing me talk about my original writing either, and even if they were, it would have been drowned in everything else I reblogged. I wanted to have a place that was 100% dedicated to writing to keep my blog topics more organized.

What’s your favorite thing about the Writeblr community?

I love talking about writing, for one, but I also love how many varied ideas you see in this community. There are SO MANY incredible WIPs waiting to be discovered here, of any genre you can think of, featuring ideas that make you salivate. The world-building some of you people have going on is fucking amazing, and I’m eating it.

What’s one thing you’d like your mutuals to know about you?

I love talking about stories, including yours! Come say hello if you feel at all inclined to!

Is there anything you’d like to see more of on your dash?

More people going crazy and/or stupid about their own stuff. Be your own biggest fan, and others will follow!

The kinds of writing I always enjoy seeing more of, in general, though: poetry (literally any kind of poetry), fantasy (high & urban), sci-fi (hard & soft), crime (bonus points if set during the Prohibition), romance, erotica (bonus points if kinky), detailed world-building (bonus points for fiddly politics, more bonus points if it’s inspired by other cultures than the generic European template), and any of these things in combination with each other!

What tips/advice do you have for someone who made a Writeblr today?

Reblog other people’s work if you want them to reblog yours, always send someone an ask if you reblog an ask game from them, don’t be afraid to self-reblog no matter how annoying you think it is, but most importantly, do whatever you want forever. Have fun.

Lots more under the cut!

WIP it Good

Which Works-in-Progress (WIPs) or writing projects are you noodling about, lately?

Mainly my [currently untitled] urban fantasy anthologies and Pride & Justice. My anthologies are getting outlined for my own make-shift “write as much as you can” challenge I’m doing in parallel to NaNo this year, and I’m basically always thinking about P&J at all times whether I like it or not.

How long have you been working on them?

My anthologies are only officially around… a year or two old, probably? I had the initial impetus to start them ages ago (like, closer to 4 or 5 years ago), but didn’t start working on them as an actual project until relatively recently. Hell, I didn’t have the idea for an erotic urban fantasy anthology until December 2023!!

As for Pride & Justice, it will celebrate its second birthday on August 9th! It’s the only WIP I have such a specific date for, since it originally started as a fanfic I did for AUgust2022.

Do you remember what inspired them/what got you started?

For my anthologies, I’ve always loved urban fantasy, but pretty much all the urban fantasy I could find growing up was lacking in some way (to me). Either the fantasy elements were pasted onto our already existing world—usually “in secret” or with some other excuse to keep the “regular people” from finding out—or it was a genuine fantasy world with more advanced technology, but always a detective story. Seriously, what’s with urban fantasy and detective thrillers? They’re cool, but there’s so many of them…

I craved something closer to a “slice of life” urban fantasy—what would a fantasy world with our current level of technology and manufacturing actually look like? How would people live, what would a city be like, how would things like magic change what a sufficiently advanced culture looks like? And then, of course, the crazy magical sex????? That’s the logic I’m working from with both my anthologies, a sort of “what-if” combined with a slice-of-life peek into urban fantasy lives.

For P&J it’s a lot simpler: the fanfiction I wrote simply didn’t want to be a fanfiction. It wanted to be something bigger, more original, with more room to breathe. I gave it permission to be itself.

How much time, in your best estimation, do you spend thinking about them?

All of the time. Forever. If I am thinking about something, it’s probably my WIPs.

When someone asks the dreaded, “What do you write about,” question, what do you usually say?

I reflexively answer “fantasy, and I dabble in sci-fi and contemporary fiction.” Sometimes I clarify I write both high and urban fantasy, because most people assume high fantasy. I usually also mention I write poetry, and sometimes I’ll mention my Magnet Monday schtick.

What do you want to say (if it’s different from what you do say)?

Well, if people could get really cool about me saying “fantasy romance and erotica” that would be neat. I think we’re still a little ways off from other people’s reactions not being 1) smiling stiffly but politely before changing the subject or 2) making a rude face before changing the subject.

Let’s Rotate Blorbos

Name any characters you created.  Side characters, protagonists, antagonists, characters who’ve never been written, the first original abomination you ever pulled from your ass; whomever you’d like!

List them all? We’d be here a while.

I have an OC Roulette that I spin when I need to pick a character at random for whatever reason, so I’ll just list the ones currently on it:  Pride, Justice, Kindness, Ollie, Sofia, Dante, Honesty, Lust, Xinya, Yu-Qi, Jao, Han Lao, Sita Zhai, Asim, Mira, Cahaya, Priscilla, Henry, Yvonne, Harlan, Hayden, Lenora, Teconia, Seraph, Park, Jamie, Kiran. And the OC Roulette list will surely expand as I come up with more blorbos.

Who’s the most unhinged?

It depends on how you define unhinged, I guess? Yu-Qi could be considered unhinged because she’s a God-Dragon who does not care much what you think of her and does literally whatever she wants, whenever she wants. Priscilla enjoys violence to a suspicious degree, to the point where her husband just sighs and shrugs about it. Honesty is an Evangelical Christian angel with the one and only mission to carry out God’s Word. Take your pick, really.

Who comes the most naturally for you to write?

Can I just blanket say “the protagonists”? Generally, I use the POV characters for a reason, and it’s because I find them the most comfortable to write. I very rarely write multi-POV stories, and when I do switch POVs, it’s usually for one very significant part that the regular POV character isn’t present for or something. So—Pride, Xinya, Asim, Priscilla, etc.

Do you ever cringe at them?

Honestly, not really. Sometimes I get nervous about people accusing me of self-inserting or whatever, but then I remember that those people are stupid and lame. Of course my characters are going to be at least a little like me—I created them. Some will be more similar than others, but I put a little bit of myself into everything I write, including the characters. And even if they were self-inserts, who cares? I can do whatever I want, and don’t need to cater to pissants.

How much control do you feel you have over your characters?  AKA, do they ever “write themselves,” refuse to cooperate, or do things you didn’t expect? To what degree? Are some less cooperative than others?

They fly off the handle sometimes. The most persistent example is from The God-Dragon’s Wife, which was supposed to be about a monogamous couple, but a prominent side character started hassling me to make it a polycule so she could join in. I am now rethinking the entire plot to see if I can make it work.

In general, though, I feel like my characters exist somewhere in between “totally under my control” and “completely unrestrained.” I can drop a character into a scenario and act them through it, and there are absolutely times where I go “nah that’s out of character,” and have to change something. But for the most part, it’s like… observation. If I have a good handle on a character’s personality, arc, and motivations, I can just watch. Wow, look at ‘em go…

Do you enjoy people asking questions about your characters? And do you have a preferred means of receiving said questions? For example, as Asks, as replies, as reblogs, as tag notes, as comments on AO3, etc.

YEAH!!!!! ALWAYS AND FOREVER!!!!!!

Honestly, no preferred medium for questions. Send me an ask, reply in a post, DM me, message me on Discord (if you have it), leave a comment on my website, whatever. I love talking about my characters, and if you also want to talk to me about my characters, well that means I love you too.

On Writeblr Engagement

What makes you want to follow another Writeblr account? Do you follow ‘em as you see ‘em, or take time scoping out the blog to make sure you align with its content? Do you follow based on WIPs, or vibes?

Usually I scope out a blog and see if their WIPs are interesting enough for me to want to see regularly on my dash. Sometimes I’ll see a post from someone looking for other blogs that post [x] genre or [y] content, and if they match up with what I do, I’ll skim their intros (if they have them). I don’t like horror, so I’m not gonna follow people who only post horror stuff. I really like fantasy, so I’m more inclined to follow people who post fantasy stuff. If I see a particularly interesting WIP, I’ll follow the person even if it’s not the kind of thing I normally read. It all depends!

What makes you decide against following?

Genres I don’t like to read and my personal squicks, usually. Maybe the WIPs didn’t grab me. Some writeblr blogs are also people’s main blogs where they post a lot of other non-writing things, and I usually don’t follow those since I’m here for the writing first and foremost.

Do you interact with non-mutuals often?

Sometimes! Usually it’s my mutuals who talk to me the most, so I interact with them the most. As a general rule though, if you talk to me, I’m gonna talk to you back, no matter what our following status is.

Do your mutuals’ characters occupy space in your noodle?

If I know enough about them, yeah! I have plenty of other people’s OCs floating around in my brain from time to time, especially if they’re a regular occurrence on my dash.

[viridiave]

Spoiler-heavy thoughts about Crick and how the Game Mechanics treat Temenos’s story

So. yeah if you press ‘Keep Reading’ I should probably let you guys know that these thoughts are just a tiny bit unhinged. And again - spoiler alert! You’ve been warned!!

GAME MECHANICS AND UI

- Gonna preface THIS section by asserting that yes, not EVERY mechanic needs to be taken apart under a microscope and re-contextualized into the greater lore of the game. Not EVERYTHING has to mean something to everybody. Some of my classes in game design disagree though and honestly for the genre that Octopath Traveler is, that being a story-heavy role-playing game where the narrative is half the game, I'd say that integrating lore into the mechanics and vice-versa wouldn't hurt - in fact it ENHANCES the experience. The second game does this pretty handily through the EX Skills (the first of the skills being Divine Blessings, and the second being earned at the end of the story.) and the Latent Powers.

Okay the Latent Powers? Honestly that part's mostly for Hikari. Shadow's Hold/Light's Radiance is STILL one of the best examples of Gameplay and Story Integration that this game has

No I swear I don't have a bias for 'other selves'/'deep parts of yourself made manifest' what are you talking about -

I swear I can write an entire separate post JUST about the EX Skills. Mostly for Osvald, Castti, and mOTHERFUCKING TEMENOS AGAIN

aND THIS IS WHY I GO FUCKING BONKERS WHEN I THINK ABOUT THE DEMO VERSION OF THE GAME LIKE WHAT THE FU-

- Literally the fucking emblem for Temenos's story is a staff and a sword over the Sacred Flame like - they REALLY want you to know how important Crick is to this tale

- tHE FACT THAT CRICK IS THE ONE WHO HAS COVER. NOT EVEN HIKARI OR THE WARRIOR CLASS. IT'S CRICK - DOES THIS COUNT AS FORESHADOWING???

I'll like - write here what I should have written in the bath - and that's me being like 'oh it's because he's recklessly protective. OH SHIT IT'S BECAUSE HE'S RECKLESSLY PROTECTIVE'

I fully acknowledge that it doesn't have to be that deep. MAYBE I'm pulling stuff out of my ass. But allow me to go bonkers over Crick and his for-some-reason-worryingly-appropriate moveset

Man I wonder how bonkers I'd go over Malaya if she was allowed to throw hands. I want her to complement Castti's moveset so bad

- Also the fact that both of their kits complement each other. Crick's bulkier build was made specifically with supporting Temenos in mind.

My guy's Sacred Sword reduces the enemy's elemental defense. Wonder if that implies that the Sanctum Knights normally work with magic and/or magicians

aGAIN HE HAS FUCKING COVER which is PERFECT because early-game Temenos can and will faint if a monster blinks at him too hard

Then there's his OTHER skill Godsblade's Shield which RAISES his physical defense to SO HE CAN COVER FOR TEMENOS BETTER LIKE. AT SOME POINT I SHOULD JUST ASK WHY THEY TRIED SO HARD FOR HIM SPECIFICALLY

And I mean. It makes SENSE but I don't think any of the other helper characters really had this level of chemistry in their mechanics as these two do

Emerald and Gus both have healing moves for better survivability considering how squishy Osvald and Agnea are

And it makes sense, Temenos already has access to a healing move because he's a cleric

The thing that separates Crick from them is that neither Emerald nor Gus really have moves to further support their leads on the level that Crick does. Emerald is fast and he breaks well and Gus is clearly meant to be the DPS of Agnea's Chapter 1, but again - Crick has moves tailor-made for Temenos to go off and do his thing

You lose Pirro and Scaracci/ Rai Mei and Ritsu after the intro and none of them really complement the Throné and Hikari and vice versa as much as Crick and Temenos do with each other

The difference with them too is that they have established relationships with their lead characters prior to the story, sometimes even encountered as antagonistic forces

Pirro, Rai Mei, and Ritsu are all bosses that were once considered close comrades of Throné and Hikari

Scaracci displays mutinous traits throughout Throne's Chapter 1

Emerald subverts this by acting mutinous - which, his conflict with Osvald amounted more to a sacrifice of goodwill

He knows Osvald and how he acts even prior to the beginning of Chapter 1, so he's in this category of having an established relationship

Gus averts this completely by just being a genuinely supportive part of Agnea's life

Mechanically, you never have anything to do with these characters again past Chapter 1 - save for Rai Mei and Ritsu being bosses. Hikari's companions also play an integral narrative role in his final chapter, with Ritsu being encountered as a boss again for the final time

Crick is a subversion of all of them in that he doesn't have any direct relationship with Temenos prior to Chapter 1, and though we never use him as a helper character ever again he consistently shows up as an integral part of Temenos's story up until his death in Chapter 3: Stormhail

Weirdly Crick is also the only one out of all of them where the use of Path Actions is required more than once - Osvald has to Scrutinize Emerald at one point

AND GODDAMNIT OF COURSE THE FIRST AND LAST TANGIBLE INTERACTION WE HAVE WITH CRICK IS TO FUCKING GUIDE HIM I'M SO MAD ABOUT THIS BOOKEND IT'S SO MEAN AKSJKAS

And this in itself makes complete sense given that he has larger roles to play outside of Chapter 1 - just not in the same vein as Ritsu or Rai Mei, but the fact is that Temenos's story is VERY good at establishing and building up chemistry between its characters

bUT FOR MECHANICS WE NEVER HAVE TO USE AGAIN AFTER CHAPTER 1?? THEY WENT SO HARD AND I WANT TO KNOW WHY

- It's not as big of a deal as it looks but I also find it funny just how much fun the devs seemed to have with Crick's introduction and entry into the party - using the Path Action to fucking TROLL with him.

- ON THAT NOTE, LET ME FREAK OUT OVER GUIDE AS A PATH ACTION A LITTLE MORE

I saw a post on Reddit earlier about the 'summoning townspeople' Path Actions and it kind of shook my world a little, so I'll just put my response to it here

For a guy who makes it a point to tell people not to follow anything blindly it's INCREDIBLY hilarious to me that Temenos's Path Action is getting people to follow him blindly.

MECHANICALLY, it's because he's the designated cleric. Temenos has Guide, because Ophilia has Guide. But thematically it's interesting to think about just how antithetical it is to his central creed of doubting, and how this specifically applies to Crick.

I did go back and check and yeah - Crick's one of three individual people I was able to find over the course of the stories that has a required Path Action used on them more than once.

Malaya is one other example with Inquire, and she even one-ups him with one use of Soothe. And I'll get to HER when I get to Castti's essay - I mean infodump - because it's like. Somehow even MORE heartbreaking than this instance of Guide

While I'm here I'll also mention Roque, who also has two instances of a Path Action used on him, namely Purchase and Hire in Partitio's Chapter 5

But back to the dramatic aspect of it it's like. I really want to shake the devs because it's so mean of them to have Temenos's relationship with him begin by guiding him towards not only the cathedral but to a healthier way of thinking, and to end with Crick's fucking GHOST leading Temenos to the crucial truth that he's lost so many people to find, including Crick himself

- I won't scrutinize everything about the cleric class itself but I WILL talk about the EX Skills, because to me it's ironic just how mean they are. I'm glad that the irony isn't lost on the fanfic writers like I see you guys use these as fanfic titles - bless you all

First - Prayer for Plenty, the sequel's answer to how absolutely fucking broken Saving Grace was as a passive in the first game. Limiting it to JUST Temenos's natural moveset feels like it should be sending a message honestly - it's a way to prolong the lives of his comrades and he couldn't do that for the ones he held dear in his own story. Can't help but feel like the fact that this is the one he gets from AELFRIC'S SHRINE rubs salt in the wound - no pun intended -

Secondly is Heavenly Shine and it's like. It's a holy nuke filled with divine power that drains Temenos's magic reserves completely. He invokes Aelfric's name when he uses it to and to this day I think the reason it feels cathartic to use is because it feels like a manifestation of Temenos's wrath

Unlike Osvald's own magic kamehamehadouken nuke where he learned it out of a need to protect Elena, Temenos learns this AFTER his story - and maybe it's just my concern speaking but man I really want this to represent his sheer need to go absolutely fucking apeshit like my man is NOT in a good place after his story is done

- This is the part where I go into the tinier, 'definitely stretching this past the realm of MATTERING' details that actually have something to do with the game mechanics

Some of Temenos's class lines are reminiscent of Crick's own. We've drawn the comparison with Temenos's Sweeping Cleave line already and it's adorable

Temenos Sweeping Cleave [insert handshake emoji] Crick Sacred Slash: I'll cleave you in twain!

Reaching even further here. His lines for Lux Congerere and Sacred Effulgence also somewhat invoke Crick's declaration of 'cleaving the shadows from this world', but it's not exact and I'm just indulging

Lux Congerere: Banish the shadows from this world!

Sacred Effulgence: Aelfric, banish the shadows from this world!

I'd also be extremely remiss to NOT mention the recruitment of Ort in postgame and it physically hurts me to summon him because of the way he says 'I will avenge you, Crick!' like DUDE. Oh well at least he's grieving healthily

Sacred Slash brothers let's gooo

There's like. No way that I'll be able to fit all of this in my other thoughts about Crick that are dedicated mostly to his and Temenos's arcs so. It's like not even in a ship sense anymore even if I do think they're fruity as hell

Honestly I'm just glad to get this all out of my system EXCEPT THERE'S MORE, because Temenos's story loves to torture my brain and its themes resonate with me a bit TOO much

[blysse-and-blunder]

in lieu of a reading week

11pm, tuesday, feb 20, 2024

hello beloveds. just wrote two increasingly passionate paragraphs about what social media and my use of it over the years has done to benefit my life, and got so genuinely moved that i had to come talk to you about it.

reading really wild mix of reading material of late. surprisingly high amount of YA, because people keep recommending me things and i keep going 'sure, let's try it!' so i'll use that as an organizing principle and save discussing some of the others for a future post. in order of completion:

firekeeper's daughter, angeline boulley, read by isabella lablanc. finished in a rush, very engaged in the last three-four hours. i was never prepared for the next thing this plot threw at me, though in retrospect saw how it all made sense. i didn't know a thing about it going in, which i think actually enriched the experience a lot, but for a novel set in michigan's UP and sugar island, it resonated with a lot of things i associate with ontario after living here for five+ years. the hockey, the ojibwe /anishinaabe names and cultural connections, the murdered and missing indigenous women. but it also mixes in elements reminiscent of, like, braiding sweetgrass (and tangentially mexican gothic) and various fan fiction tropes i recognized in their shape if not their execution. highly recommend the audiobook-- they cast the audiobook's narrator very carefully, and she does a superb job juggling the mix of scientific jargon, teen narrator unreliable/dramatic narrator (loving), and Anishinaabemowin.

castle in the clouds, kerstin gier, translated by romy fursland. maybe 33% through. it's giving grand budapest hotel and somehow also the princess diaries? it's also reminding me somehow of, like, the kind of novel i wanted to write as a second or third grader, which means eva ibbotson, and a particular flavor of plucky, intelligent heroine. i was hooked by the first page+ but have yet to see a ton more of the same high action and suspense, and have let this one slip a little further onto the back burner. it's cute escapism at the moment, though that may change.

fourth wing, by rebecca yarros, read by rebecca soler (and apparently also teddy hamilton, although i haven't gotten to him yet?) about 25% through. trying desperately to give us a gritty, hardcore, new and dangerous and fun take on dragons and their human riders, while also trying to be idk divergent? the hunger games? there's a love triangle, the protagonist has naturally ombre hair, the premise of the novel is brutal training where young adults are all dying in improbable droves due to how cutthroat and brutal it is. a testament to the narrator that i am, despite myself, having a great time. there are a few too many supporting characters who want our main girl straight up dead for me to really find the threats believable, but i'm intrigued by the prospect of alternate versions of this world's history than what she has learned and a potential for discovering how their kingdom has? manipulated them? could be asking too much.

fairest, gail carson levine. finished in a long saturday morning spent reading in bed. i was such an intense and dedicated fan of the original ella enchanted novel that i couldn't read most of levine's other books (exceptions for her short stories made grudgingly) because they weren't sequels and weren't the same and wouldn't be as good. in fairness, reading this now as a much-older-than-the-intended audience, perhaps i was too harsh-- but i think little-me was right to be a little suspicious. it's a snow white retelling, and again i think largely successful in building a more detailed plot in which the elements of the retold fairy tale are embedded, but where the focus in ella was on language and obedience and free will, here we're trying to articulate things about beauty and body image, and it's harder to say that it really succeeds? i like that we gave the Wicked Queen more nuance, positive and negative qualities, moments of sympathy, a name and a precarious political position. i was not nearly as charmed by the romance (fine, fine, it's not ella and char but it couldn't be, it's fine). i still love the use of unfamiliar / fairy-tale languages and how levine puts them on the page in such fun spellings. probably aimed at the youngest audience, of the four titles here, but treats its reader as almost more intelligent than fourth wing, possibly? YA from ~twenty years ago was a different world.

listening graded like twenty quizzes today with just a mess of random panic at the disco bumping in my headphones. it's a hell of a feeling, etc. i'm halfway through this particular round of grading, and they're doing so well, so it's mainly a quick check to make sure they got the basics right and i can jam while doing so.

watching spent a very pleasant ~2 hours yesterday watching as much as we could of the film amadeus with @hematiterings, @pep-squad-lizzie, and @dimir-charmer. love a film that isn't afraid to lean into all its sensory indulgences, and to be a little heavy-handed with its symbolism (the chocolate is about repression!) and to, just generally, spend money on costumes, locations, hiring lots of extras, and so many wigs. there's a live event performance of this film with orchestra + choir being advertised all over our subway right now, so it does very much feel like we're being followed by this guy:

...but what's sticking in my head right now is the costumes.

playing 41+ hours into hollow knight. i have opened half of my stag stations! i have the dream nail, surprisingly early i think! i have saved bretta! i have somehow missed the mantis lords, i think, but have made it to the city, the resting grounds, and have now been throwing myself fruitlessly against the crystal guardian and a soul warrior in alternation. i am...not good at combat. current plan is to grind to get quick focus, and i'm close! also, @spoonierbard stepped in and gave me a much needed morale boost by winning me the final mask shard necessary to get increased lives, which has helped tremendously, and the grubs rewarded me with the grub song charm which has helped tremendously.

making many potential projects, none executed (or even really attempted). soon, hopefully. fallow section for now. does music count? music counts, right? i joined a second choir! enticed by the chance to perform mozart's requiem in full with an orchestra, and finally fulfill the broken promise of 2020. that's my hobby right now. oh i also just cleaned out a ton of storage in my phone + icloud, which felt generative in its own way. besides backing things up better than i have in a while.

working on submitted the travel money application i've been thinking and dithering about since...this time last year? no real expectation of getting it, but it did actually help me consider some next steps in the diss, so that's nice. now prepping to take my class on two fun on-campus field trips next week, one to the manuscript library and one to the medieval collection in our little hidden art museum! i need to write some notes up for the TAs and docents to use, and finish organizing my list of desired manuscripts, like, yesterday. midterm grades posted today, a little late but hopefully not too bad, still well before the drop date. the aforementioned quizzes (i have like 28 more to grade, but they're reasonably painless). plus i was going to work on my fucking dissertation this week, and prep to teach the next few lectures in advance so i'm not scrambling monday nights, plus send a bunch of emails, design a CFP poster, put in some RAship hours so i can speak intelligently in my meeting tomorrow, and....prep for the guest lecture i'm giving on the 28th! it's a reskin of the conference paper i gave this summer, freshly edited, but i need to expand the intro bits to include a useful overview, since these students aren't a conference of celticists.

weirdly at peace with how my work-life balance is balancing right now, though. it's the extra sleep and the increased sunshine, and the little cat who is being so so whiny right now. i must conclude these lines and feed Herself.

[catofadifferentcolor]

Terrible Fic Idea #82: The Chronicles of Narnia, but make it ASOIAF

@kyuremking recently asked me how I would go about combining Game of Thrones with The Chronicles of Narnia - and admittedly I was a bit baffled at first. Narnia has never been one of my go-to fandoms - I never liked how CS Lewis handled Susan, as if growing up was a crime worthy of exclusion from paradise, and the religious imagery feels quite heavy-handed considering the century in which they were published.

But I thought. And I mused. And I turned the idea over in my mind. And this is what I came up with: What if the Stark siblings fell into an Old Gods-analog of Narnia?

Just imagine it:

One day while exploring beneath the catacombs, young Arya Stark falls into Narnia. It is not quite the Narnia we know, with most of the heavy Christian symbolism of the books being replaced by the beliefs and mythology of the Old Gods.

As the religion of the Old Gods is not overly expanded upon in canon, let's imagine it here as something of a cross between shintoism and folk orthodoxy - polytheist and heavily animist with a notion of "pollution vs purity" and an un-codified moral code, but with localized cults of anthropomorphized saints which over the centuries have picked up certain aspects of certain of the New Gods. The details don't really matter so long as the two most important of these saints, which have taken on aspects of the Smith and the Mother, can be used to replicate the Narnian idea of son of Adam and daughter of Eve.

Arya falls into Narnia. Bran tentatively believes her, but the rest of her siblings think she's telling tales. This leads to some back and forth before Jon and Sansa are separately tasked to pull Bran and Arya out of the catacombs - and end up falling into Narnia after them.

Jon, Sansa, Bran, and Arya free Narnia from an endless winter at the hands of the Corpse Queen, who was trapped there by the Children of the Forest, which weakened the Others enough that the Last Hero was able win the Battle for the Dawn. They then rule Narina as Kings and Queens for forty years, eventually falling back into Winterfell while hunting the White Stag.

The exact details of the Narnia interlude are unimportant, as our story picks up literally the minute they find themselves all in a heap back in the catacombs, child-sized once more.

The rest of their family immediately notices the difference, but has no idea what to make of it. All of a sudden the four middle Stark children seem to have overcome all of their differences. They're not just acting like miniature adults, they're acting like proper lords and ladies - used to commanding and their orders being followed.

The difference is starkest with Arya - who seems have mellowed in the course of a day to warrior queen out of legend - and Sansa - who is no longer dreamy but dangerous in the way all Queens of Winter have always been. But it's there with Jon - who seems surer, steadier, and more comfortable in his own skin even as he looks at Ned with betrayal in his eyes - and Bran - who has gone from wanting to be a storybook knight to being the gallant knight he's always wanted to be.

Additionally, all four seem unspeakably close these days and can often be found whispering together - and slowly going silent when anyone else draws near. They're in and out of each other's chambers to the point where it's honestly strange to find one of them alone.

There's no time to ponder these changes, as the royal party is on their way North.

Ned will regret not paying closer attention for the rest of his life.

For while in Narnia, the Stark children learned two things: 1) That Jon is the son of Rhaegar Targaryen and his second wife, Lyanna Stark. Though it's never outright stated, it's heavily implied that while Lyanna's abduction was willing, her imprisonment in a tower was not, and by the end of it hated her husband more than anyone. Jon will never, ever be sure where his conception fell on the spectrum; and 2) that the Long Night is coming. It may be in their generation, it may be in the next, but Westeros must be strong to ensure the Dawn will come. Everything they've learned about Robert Baratheon suggests that he will not - cannot - be the king Westeros needs. And so Jon, Arya, Bran, and Sansa plot, and scheme in preparation for Jon to take the throne himself.

They're prepared to play the long game - but don't have to after Bran spies Jamie and Cersei in the First Keep. He arranges for the pair to be discovered in a way that is utterly undeniable. The twins are tried, found guilty, and beheaded in short order. Cersei's children are declared bastards - and, after Joffrey draws a sword in protest of this, Joffrey is slain as well. Myrcella and Tommen are remanded to Ned's care until they are old enough to join the Faith, enter the Citadel, or take the Black.

And then Robert does what he does best: drinks and whores, seemingly uncaring that his rule is hanging by a thread.

And so Jon acts - or rather, Jon and Sansa go to Ned so that he can act. They sit him down, explain that they know Jon is the rightful Targaryen heir, and state that if Ned does not declare for Jon now, he is dooming Westeros to a bloody civil war. It is best to act decisively now rather than wait for Robert's vices to kill him.

This conversation takes the better part of the night, but eventually Ned is convinced. When morning comes, Ned orders his guards put the few royal guards not already under watch (the majority Lannister men-at-arms having been imprisoned for rioting after Jamie and Cersei's deaths) and takes Robert hostage.

Jon is named King Jaehaerys III.

A great host marches south to King's Landing, picking up the lords of the Riverlands while fighting off Lannister forces, and takes King's Landing quickly, despite Renly's spirited defense of the city. Forces are sent to mop up Stannis at Dragonstone in echo of the Rebellion and in short order Jon is King of Westeros in truth.

What follows is a montage of Jon doing is best to strengthen the kingdom, put down rebellions, and make Westeros ready for the Long Night.

Bran marries Shireen Baratheon, who is named Lady Paramount of the Stormlands in her own right. Their marriage is one of surprising affection - and one which seems determined to restore House Baratheon to its greatest number through their own efforts. Bran is known as The Noble Wolf, and earns a reputation equal to that of the Dragonknight or Duncan the Tall.

Arya marries Robin Arryn, but it's doubtful they ever consummate the marriage. When he dies two years later, she claims the Vale by right of widowhood, and has already been doing such a good job ruling in his stead that few protest when there are no viable alternatives. No one ever quite knows who fathers her heir, but by that point the Long Night is in full swing and few take issue with it.

Robb marries Margery Tyrell, the closest the Tyrells can get to the crown. It's a successful marriage, if not one of deep affection, and ensures the North is well-fed when the Long Night comes.

Jon marries Sansa, with whom he'd had a relationship in Narnia and who he'd been dancing around after their return to adolescence. They often wonder about the children they left behind in Narnia, which causes some angst when they start having children in Westeros, but are undeniably the happiest royal couple in 200 years.

There are other efforts beyond marriage in the background, including 1) a long sequence during which Theon Greyjoy is installed as Lord Paramount of the Iron Islands after his father rebels. He proves to be remarkably loyal to the crown, marries Lyra Mormont, and turns the Ironborn from pirates into a royal navy in one generation; 2) Rickon is sent to foster in Dorne, which he takes to in a way no one could have predicted. He ends up staying in Dorne for most his life and becomes known as The Desert Wolf - a wilder, fiercer knight than his brother Bran. He never marries, but fathers a bevy of bastards to rival Oberyn Martell - at least half of them with Oberyn's daughter Loreza; and 3) Tywin being in open rebellion for years before Tyrion, in a desperate attempt to ensure a Lannister stays Lord of the Rock after they're assuredly defeated by the combined strength of the rest of Westeros, kills his father, takes his place, and swears his fidelity - just in time for the Long Night to descend.

With their preplanning, the Long Night is not half as bad as it was in canon - but it's still war. Sansa rules in King's Landing while Jon, Arya, and Bran lead the fighting to the north.

The situation goes poorly at first, with royal forces able to hold The Others off long enough for the Free Folk to to safety - but it's still a retreat, with each loss to the living strengthening the dead. The situation is starting to seem desperate by the time the Others reach the Wall.

In the darkest moment of the Battle of the Wall, the dragon Cannibal arrives at Castle Black to aid Jon, while two of his kin go to help Arya and Bran at the Shadow Tower and Eastwatch-by-the Sea. (These dragons being ice dragon cousins of the Targaryen fire dragons of the east, and thus drawn to the Stark bloodline when they bother to take riders at all.) Together they are the three heads of the dragon...

...and they start pushing the Others back. Within two years, they have won and the Night King is destroyed.

Jon goes on to rule for several more decades, beloved and capable in a way that no Targaryen ruler before him has ever been. (His few detractors are quick to point out he's more Stark than Targaryen, but Jon takes that as a compliment.) His queen, Sansa, seems less a consort and more a co-ruler, and is possibly more beloved than her husband. Their rule is one of peace and growing prosperity throughout the Seven Kingdoms and takes up an almost Arthurian place in the later history and mythology of Westeros.

They never speak of their experiences in Narnia to anyone - save Jon and Sansa's eldest son, Robb and Margery's eldest daughter, Arya's heir, and one of Bran and Shireen's middle children, who fall into Narnia themselves while exploring the Red Keep, who help the rightful king retake his throne...

Bonuses include: 1) The relationship between Robb and Jon never quite getting back to where it was before the Narnia interlude. As a result, Robb and Theon become even closer - which may have a strong role in Theon's efforts to turn the Iron Islands away from raiding. Dealer's choice if this relationship is bromance or romance; 2) A revival of the Old Gods and their religion following in the wake of the Targaryen Restoration. They win many converts everywhere the Stark family gains a foothold and godswoods are restored throughout the Seven Kingdoms; 3) A projection of Westerosi power into the lands beyond the Wall. At first this is nominal, but as parts of Beyond The Wall start to build villages and keeps similar to those in the North, things begin to change. Within 100 years most of the area capable of being settled this way is under control of their own Lord Paramount descended from a marriage between Robb and Theon's lines. The lands further north continue their pre-War lifestyles, but are nominally part of Westeros as well; and 4) Daenerys lives a happy life with Drogo in Essos. She watches with pleasure as her son Rhaego forms the largest land empire the world of ice and fire has ever seen - and lives just long enough to see that empire collapse after his death as his heirs scrabble for power. One of her great-grandsons, however, does end up on the throne of Yi Ti. His dynasty will eventually rise to be Westeros' great eastern rivals.

And that is surprisingly more than I thought'd I'd have. @kyuremking, IDK if this is quite what you were looking for, but it's the best I could come up with. As always, feel free to adopt this bun, just link back if you do anything with it.

More Terrible Fic Ideas

[laufire]

may reading meme!

BOOKS

The Sign of Four by Arthur Conan Doyle. This one introduces Mary. I wish she'd gotten the treasure and become a rich heiress 😢

Inheritance by Devin Grayson. Loved it. I'm definitely gonna track down her other prose novels. I made a good guess on who [redacted] from very early in the book, practically from the first, and it was still quite gripping. The funniest thing, however, is how unequal each of the former sidekicks' sections are lol. Was she just going through the motions with Garth? Although, by virtue of being the one I know the least about, it did make me want to read his comics. Roy's and Dick's were more even, both with incredibly poignant, poetic flashbacks I adored, but you can tell DickAndBruce is where her heart is and their dynamic was showcased beautifully imo. Her characterization of Ollie is... surely controversial, and doesn't quite match how I see the guy, but it didn't bother me.

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov. This one is a reread, though it's been a decade since I read it for the first time. I've read it even more slowly than the first time around, pondering over practically every passage. Nabokov's prose is simply sublime, and Dolores's character is one of those that stays with you for how much you read into her.

COMICS

Beneath the Trees Where Nobody Sees. The first issue enchanted me, and the last one was a very apt ending for the story. The journey to get there let me down.

FCBD 2024: Barda Special Edition. This is a preview for an upcoming story. A young Barda is charged to break the prisoner Scott Free, as the beginning of their romance. Theirs is a ship I've been curious about for a while, and I really dig the premise, so I can't wait to read it.

Catwoman: Her Sister's Keeper. A short, gritty origin story that builds on the Selina we see in Batman: Year One, written by the same author as Lois Lane (1986). I really wish her sister was more present in Catwoman's story in general, tbh. She was featured in Selina's Knight Terror mini, which I might end up rereading.

The Bat-Man: First Knight. Three-part run set in the 40s, the original Batman setting. A tale of monsters, human experimentation, and the effects of the second world war. I enjoyed it, though not wildly, but it confirms I'd enjoy more historical settings in my comics.

War Games. Oh boy. OH BOY. My kill list grew with each page I read. The missed shot at a proper story with robin!Steph, the incredibly uncharitable way she's written... all to end in the grossest example of character assassination I've ever seen with Dr Leslie Thompkins, all to relieve Bruce of his guilt for his part in Steph's demise. I wanted to read the arc because I thought it was important for some Steph-focused storylines I want to write that build up on it (mostly by subverting or contradict him), but with few exceptions (SOME of Steph's Robin arc, the school plot, Tarantula's appearances, and the parts touching on Dick's downward spiral, for example) it was all so hateful and mean-spirited. Even the prelude to the proper arc, starting with Bruce and Cass's visit to Jason grave to use him as a cautionary tale against Steph, or that storyline about the teen mothers... death. Death to Dan DiDio for one thousand years.

Outsiders (2003). I'm including the Teen Titans crossover arcs (including both Secret Files and Origins issues, both GREAT), and the Outsiders: Five of a Kind arc where Batman is a shit xD (it also did make me wanna read the continuation in the next Batman and the Outsiders run). The art was... Mixed, by which I mean that sometimes it was fuck-ugly lol, but I loved the run. Winick gets me. I have a special place in my heart for Jason's little arc, OBVIOUSLY, but my favourite parts are, second, Dick's arc, and first, ANISSA AND GRACE. I as a lesbian owe Winick much for that one. They're the main attraction for the continuation, ngl. I also loved Shift and Indigo, btw. So damn tragic 🥲

[skarlitt]

hii !! i wanted to ask what tarot cards you use? i dont know where to get any from, i think i can get them from amazon right ? do you know if i need to charge them with incense or anything ? would making my own be an option ? if so, what do i draw onto the cards ? sorry if this is overwhelming, im fairly new but wish to use tarot to communicate w my deities hahdjsbdkndj

OooOOOOOo I love this question!!! I can finally rant about my tarot hehehee

I had decks upon decks upon DECKS on my altar for years! (I only had so many because I got new decks of cards from friends and family pretty much every year for my birthday and what not lol) but I've recently gifted and donated all of them except one, and I now just use the Rider-Waite deck.

I will say firstly: EVERYONE will tell you different things about tarot. Some will say to only buy second-hand. Some will use them as a medium to communicate to their deities, others believe the deck IS the deity. And some people even use the deck to answer yes/no questions despite them not being intended at all for that lol. It is entirely up to you how to use the deck and what you believe it is capable of. And sometimes, you have to let the deck itself teach YOU how it wants to be used.

The simplest deck to use would be Rider-Waite, it's the most widespread and probably least expensive. But any deck you connect to intuitively will do- you are essentially establishing a spiritual relationship with it, so you may as well get whatever deck you like best! Amazon is ok, but I would honestly recommend going to Indigo/Barnes and Noble or a metaphysics shop and getting a real-life feel for the cards they have. How they fit in your hands and make you feel is extremely important! (if you go to B&N or Indigo, tarot cards are in the New Age/Spiritual section!)

A great book on Tarot (if you have extra cash) is The Only Tarot Book You'll Ever Need by Skye Alexander. I read it when I was 12 and it's such a great tarot reference! If you can't buy a book or need to hide your tarot usage, go to Biddy Tarot's website. They've got all sorts of great stuff there too :)

Making your own is definitely an option but it can be expensive depending on how you do it...I've been thinking about making my own too actually! I'm honestly not sure how to answer that one yet, still trying to figure that out myself 😅

If you need to charge the cards with your intention, you can do a LOT of different things. Incense/sage is good to cleanse them (which you should absolutely do after taking them from the store!), but charging is different cuz that's essentially how you bind the cards to you. There's lots of enchantment/charging spells and rituals on Pinterest if you wanna be fancy, but honestly? You can just reach out to your deities and ask them to bless your deck, if youre using them as a medium for communication to them. A simple visualization meditation is also useful- just hold them in your hands and visualize yourself projecting your power into them. There's no wrong way to do it! Follow your heart :)

Lastly: as I mentioned before I currently just use Rider-Waite cards, but! I recently pre-ordered a copy of a fan-made Hades Game tarot deck. Only because I really love the game, and the cards feature art of the gods! Unfortunately I have yet to find a specific Greek God tarot deck though. But once I do, I am taking a copy IMMEDIATELY lmao! Some decks I've had in the past that I've loved are the Triple Goddess Tarot (my first deck, they were stolen on me and I miss them dearly), Yoshi Yoshitani's Tarot Of The Divine (100/10 my absolute favorite deck ever personally, each card reflects a fairy tale or myths from around the world), and of course the Rider-Waite deck (Classic and simple to understand, really great if you don't want any extraneous vibes from any flashy art other decks might give you). The links might be to the Canadian websites, sorry about that 😅

Hope this answers your question! Just remember to not overthink it, and follow your heart :) sending you good vibes ✨

[doberbutts]

Okay well I watched the first episode of Blood Origin and honestly my thoughts are:

I just don't understand why people are so resistant to changes/new plotlines/some lore breaking of *recent* franchises but gobble it up when it's older. People telling an untold portion of a common tale is well established in storytelling culture. The first example that springs to mind is Lancelot, who straight up does not exist in original Authorian legend and was a FRENCH invention when the myth spread. Nowadays, most casual enjoyers of King Author stuff don't bat an eye to Lancelot's presence. Lancelot, who comes to mind, because Sapkowski writes said Lancelot to be in love with Ciri, and we're totally cool with *that* but not with changes to Sapkowski's work.

It's really telling that there's such a bigoted negative reaction to this because honestly? The black people so far have been BLACK black, darker than me, darker than even my black family sometimes. I'm enjoying seeing melanin in fantasy don't mind me. And the hair on the sisters is excellent, I'm liking the costuming, and I *really* like Eile.

The accents are kind of all over the place. Both as individual characters but also as the actors themselves. Sometimes Fjall goes from generic American accent to some form of fake Irish to ????european???? and back and it's distracting and weird. HOWEVER I do like the Irish and Welsh accents in high born kingdoms, because too often those accents are for commoners and poverty only, and this sort of turns the trope on its head.

I'm not sure how much I like the pan-Asian vibe I'm getting from some of the props and architecture. Some things look vaguely Chinese while others solidly Arabic while others a weird fusion of Indian and Korean and it's just odd to me. At first I thought it was because of clan structures but then I saw that it's just sort of everywhere. I have 0% Asian in me so I'm not really a good authority to speak on it but it's a weird vibe, a little Orientalist to my eyes. I'll freely admit that I like the aesthetic since I was raised pretty pan-African but I recognize that most continentally grouped cultures don't love that and it's mainly the black diaspora that's embraced it because we don't really have much of a choice.

I STILL feel that doing away with this short-season "but the episodes are an hour long!" nonsense would help pacing so much. Literally every time I thought the episode was going to come to an end, it's been roughly at the 20-25 min mark, which a standard TV episode would have been ANYWAY. So there's not really much point to having this be 4 hour-long episodes when it could be done better as 12-15 20 minute episodes... which would be the eqivilant of a short season while 24-32 is a more "standard" season (instead of 8 hour-long episodes). It gives you more time to flesh the characters and plotlines out while also allowing you the chance to trim some of the long-and-boring content people get tired of watching.

I really do feel bitter that the witcher tags continue to be people making racist and misogynistic memes instead of a fandom happily discussing a pretty strong first episode that introduced a billion fantasy characters of color. It really sucks that black people in fantasy is received so poorly when my inner 10 year old is happy to see people who look more like me having fun with the genre. I long for the day when I can exist in a fandom space and happily discuss my favorite black characters without having to justify their existence every 2 seconds.

Oof that CGI is pretty rough though. Which surprises me because the S2 CGI was not this rough so idk what happened here. That monster in the first episode is, uh, bad. And the background in the weird magicky place is also pretty, uh, bad.

I don't understand why the first witcher being an elf would piss Geralt off except maybe because that means Jaskier knows more about witchers than Geralt does? All of Geralt's iterations- the books, the games, the show, the comics- are pretty chill with elves as long as they're pretty chill with him. He only pursues certain elves and elf-blooded mixed race people when they pose a direct threat to him or his loved ones. Same as humans. So I don't really get that line at all unless, as said, it was more a "wow Geralt's gunna be pissed that I know this story and he doesn't"