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where: the three broomsticks who: @jamesffleamont, @ofxsorcery (Rosmerta), @gideonprewettx & open
There was no great joy, then watching the way Frank's face lit up when they walked into the pub and everyone was there to surprise him, standing at the front was his wife.
He moved around the birthday boy and went to the bar. "I'll get a beer, please." He wasn't in the mood for something hard, but still wanted to indulge.
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where: three broomsticks who: @jamesffleamont, @mkmarlene, & open
Returning back to London left her in a constant state of tension. Always glancing over her shoulder, wondering if they were truly done with her. What happened to her would remain her story, a truth that only a few may ever learn. Though, that tension, being around the people that were in the Three Broomsticks, the tension seemed to wane, and her shoulders dropped.
Apolline ordered a glass of wine, turning to the person at the bar. "Is birthday wizard here?" A smile on her face.
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where: little tart bakeshop
who: @jamesffleamont
Alara was in her happy place, hands covered in cake batter, and hands stained different icing colours, working on a cake for a wedding the next day. Music played in the background, the bakery closed for the night, that when she heard the door chime, her brows furrowed. She must have not locked up after the last customer.
"I'm closed." She calls out, coming out to the front, all the lights dim, except the one coming from the back. Alara stops in her tracks at the sight of James there. It was hard over the years not to run into each other considering the friend group, but she had been good at avoiding him.
"Jae, is everything alright?" Concern etched in her tone. Something had to be wrong if he was showing up at her bakery. Her hand came up to wrap around the ring around her neck.
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where: the three broomsticks who: @jamesffleamont
It had been one of those days at work, not that he could talk about it, and despite everything else going on in his life, a stop at the closest pub was on his list before going home.
Thorfinn found a spot at bar, leaning back with a beer in hand, glancing around when a certain wizard approached. James Potter. Not one he knew personally, but one he had definitely heard about. If he remembered correctly, he played Quidditch as well, not that he cared too much for the sport.
"James, right?" He could entertain small talk.
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ok ok, so you said you wanted some ideas for a camp counselor James, so I am here to supply one! What if reader was teaching the kids lashings and knots, and when cutting the rope with a pocket knife, their hand slips and they cut themselves, so reader tells one of the kids to get the nurse (because their hand is bleeding and they can't stand from the grass) but the kid comes back with James instead (because the kid panicked and James is the first person she saw) and James helps reader get to the nurse while fretting over their hand
Thank you for requesting angel!
cw: blood
camp counselor!James x fem!reader ♡ 827 words
A hiss escapes you as the knife slices across your hand. You drop it and your fist clenches closed on instinct, but not before the kids watching you see.
“Are you okay?”
“Did you cut yourself?”
“Do we call 999?”
“No, it’s okay,” you say, keeping the pain out of your voice. “Accidents happen. This is why I’m the only one who gets to use the knife, see?” You take a second to pray it’s not bad, but when you open your hand blood spills onto the grass beneath.
You squeeze it shut again, breathing through the wave of dizziness that nearly takes you under. The only thing worse than scaring your kids by bleeding all over the place would be traumatizing them by passing out on your way to the nurse.
“Mia.” You look to the most responsible girl in your cabin with the most reassuring smile you can piece together. “Can you go get the nurse for me, please?”
She nods, eyes wide, and sets off. You spend the next couple of minutes trying to distract your kids and yourself, but when an adult-sized shadow falls over you and you look up in relief you very nearly swoon for different reasons.
“Hey.” James’ brow is puckered. It doesn’t suit him, you think, but he looks lovely anyways. He probably can’t help that. “I heard we’ve had an accident.”
“Sorry,” Mia pipes up, “I couldn’t remember where the nurse’s office was, and I—”
“It’s okay,” you tell her, making your voice slow and soothing to combat her squeakish one. “You did your best, and I appreciate it.”
James flashes her a smile about ten times more effective than your own. “You have good instincts. Really, no one’s more equipped to help your fearless leader than me.” He sets a hand on your shoulder, softening his voice as he leans down close to you. “Are you alright?”
“I’m worried I’m gonna pass out,” you admit.
“Can I have a look?”
“It’s bleeding a lot, James. I don’t want to open it.”
“Alright, you’re okay. Let’s get up.” James uses his grasp on your shoulder to pull you to his chest, holding your elbow with his other hand as he stands the both of you up. The change in altitude makes you immediately woozy, and a quick sigh escapes you as he scrambles to get a better grip, one arm banding around your waist. “Do you need me to carry you?”
“No, sorry. I think I just…sorry.”
You expect him to tease you, but maybe you should have thought better of him. “What’re you sorry for? You’re alright, lovely, just let me know if you change your mind. Or just collapse on me, and I’ll get the point.”
He starts walking you towards the nurse’s office, your unsturdy legs following behind you. James’ body is warm and solid. You can feel the flex of his bicep pressed tight to your back, and the material of his shirt is softly worn. You don’t realize you’ve dropped your cheek onto it until you register the chatter you’re leaving behind and pick your head up.
“The kids,” you murmur, making to turn around. James keeps you held to him, but stops.
“Hey, guys,” he calls back to them, “my cabin’s in arts and crafts with Charlie, do you wanna go down there and tell her I sent you?”
There’s a few excited calls of agreement, and James waits until your campers start heading in that direction before you both continue.
“You cut yourself with your knife?” he asks, peering over your head to see where you’ve tucked your injured hand tight to your chest. It’s still dripping blood as you walk, though you think slower than before. “Is it deep?”
“A little.” You sigh. The sun feels hotter than it did a few minutes ago, and yet James’ touch has the beginnings of a shiver curled up at the base of your spine. “I think I probably scarred my kids for life.”
You can feel James’ chuckle reverberate through his chest. “Don’t worry, they’ll be fine. Kids are hardy, especially these ones. One of my boys put hot sauce in another’s coke yesterday and the kid barely even flinched. Drank the whole thing.”
You feel your lips tugging upwards. “Well, my girls are better than your boys.”
He huffs a laugh. “I could so prove you wrong, but I don’t make a habit of arguing with the wounded.”
James gets you to the nurse’s office in one piece. You expect him to go then, but he insists on staying to make sure you’re okay. He keeps you tucked into his side, scrubbing his hand up and down your arm intermittently and kissing your hair when the nurse has to clean your cut. He lets you leave your cheek resting on his chest, and you still feel dizzy for a myriad of reasons, but your injury is no longer one of them.
#camp counselor!james potter#camp counselor!james potter x reader#james potter au#james potter#james potter x reader#james potter x fem!reader#james potter x y/n#james potter x you#james potter x self insert#james potter fanfiction#james potter fanfic#james potter fic#james potter hurt/comfort#james potter h/c#james potter imagine#james potter scenario#james potter drabble#james potter blurb#james potter one shot#james potter oneshot#marauders#marauders fanfiction#marauders fandom#the marauders#hp marauders#marauders era#marauders x reader
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THEYRE MY BABIES!!!!
was going to draw art donaldson as my current fav(I'm obsessed) but It felt so wrong to not include THE james potter ykyk
template by @/_ksgi on tt!!
in order of appearance + fandom
1) james potter, harry potter/marauders
2) jason grace, Percy jackson/heroes of olympus
3) jason todd, DC/batman
(don't chat to me about all the jasons/jays the list is longer then them 3)
4) tom riddle, harry potter/knights of walpurgis (he could double as guilty fav honestly but oh my king)
5) c!dream/dream, dsmp/mcyt
6) LUKE SKYWALKERRRR, star wars (my heart has beated for him since I was a WEE boy)
#fanart#art trend#artists on tumblr#art template#james potter#prongs fanart#marauders#marauders fanart#jason grace#jason supremacy#percy jackson#heroes of olympus#albino jason#jason todd#the other one#dc comics#dc fanart#red hood#batman#tom riddle#knights of walpurgis#my beloved#dream fanart#c!dream#dsmp fanart#mcyt fanart#dream stan in 2024??who??not me#luke skywalker#MY KING#star wars
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"So you were talking about that gay ship you like..."
BITCH WHICH ONE
#the gaysssss#<3333333333#mlm ship#atsushi nakajima#akutagawa ryuunosuke#shin soukoku#c!wilbur#c!quackity#tnt duo#james potter#regulus black#jegulus#sirius black#remus lupin#wolfstar#ranpo edogawa#edgar allan poe#ranpoe#barty crouch jr#evan rosier#rosekiller#dazai osamu#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#pete maverick mitchell#tom iceman kazansky#icemav#poe dameron#finn star wars#stormpilot
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I have yapped too much about the marauders to my non-marauders stans friends, and they have started using it against me in arguments. We were fake arguing about gingers, and he said, "Go drown in the river, ginger. Like Regulus, " I genuinely don't know if I should be proud of him or feel offended. He has started saying "Regulus core" anytime I mention drowning. (I am proud of that).
#he also said#“go poof like sirius an anticlimactic death”#C#yapping#friends#i yap too much#apparently#hes learning#dead gay wizards from the 70s#regulus black#regulus core#regulus cant swim#the marauders era#regulus arcturus black#jegulus#james potter#starchaser#james fleamont potter#james x regulus#idk how to tag this
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regulus black diagnosed with c-ptsd always gets dreams and imagines a boy with messy hair and glasses. he practically lives another life when he imagines being with him. regulus is distant to him, but the boy just won't leave. regulus doesn't want him to.
but then he wakes up and realizes it's all just a dream. he snaps out of his daze and realizes it's not real. until during another therapy session, he sees the exact boy, turning out to be diagnosed with adhd.
#jegulus#regulus arcturus black#everyone is gay#regulus x james#regulus being regulus#james x regulus#starchaser#regulus black#jegulus incorrect quotes#incorrect marauders quotes#c ptsd#adhd james potter
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How involved in bullying Snape do you think Lupin was? I feel like a lot of the fandom goes with the idea that he was al Aud a reluctant bystander and felt guilty but I’m not sure I agree. With what Snape says about fighting 4 on 1 I think Lupin and Pettigrew would have to have been directly involved at least sometimes. Maybe Lupin was more involved in the early years when things were less serious like tripping each other in the hallway, the got uncomfortable as things got more vicious? And how do you think the prank/murder attempt effected this? Curious to hear your take!
thank you very much for the ask, anon!
my view - which will come up in both the war of the roses and scylla and charybdis - is that lupin and pettigrew are both involved with the physical side of the marauders' bullying of snape [and what they do to him is indistinguishable from what james and sirius do - it's not less violent etc.] as back up for james and sirius, but are never the direct instigators of this violence.
this fits lupin's belief - expressed in both prisoner of azkaban and order of the phoenix - that james only ever attacked snape when provoked. lupin clearly justifies his involvement in the physical cruelty to which snape was subjected by framing it in his own mind as defensive - a brave and necessary thing to do in the face of snape's hostility towards james [whom he understands in an extraordinarily idealised way].
and it's also clear that - when he finds himself in a situation where it's impossible for him to justify that james and sirius are acting in self-defence [that is to say, snape's worst memory], he simply goes full:
which can be used - i think - to suggest that james and sirius thought he was a bit too unreliable in terms of his willingness to start fights to be treated by them as their co-instigator.
[hence sirius saying in order of the phoenix that lupin used to make him and james feel guilty over their more egregious attacks on snape - we can parse this as him saying that lupin's struggle to pretend all of their violence was justified was obvious.]
but i also think that they were willing to make use of lupin - and to respect and encourage his participation in their violence, and to use his approval to justify the righteousness of it to themselves - whenever he was on board.
pettigrew, in contrast, would clearly love to be involved in the violence as james and sirius' co-instigator - just look at how he behaves in snape's worst memory! - but ends up relegated by james and sirius themselves to the status of follower rather than team mate.
that he resents this is obvious... given that he ends up ruining their lives.
it's clear that a significant - and indeed, in my view, the main - part of pettigrew's reasons for defecting to the death eaters is a desire to say "fuck you" to james and sirius, who - while they do clearly conceive of him as their friend [and i think takes that they don't really like him, or that they could have worked out where his true loyalties lay, are delusional] - also understand his friendship to both of them as subordinate to their friendship with each other, and enforce this hierarchy by making it known that they think he's less important, talented, cool, clever etc. than they each understand the other to be.
pettigrew is excluded from joining james and sirius' bullying of snape as an equal, because james and sirius fundamentally see the bullying as something which helps them maintain their identical images of each other. they don't see him as a cunning and charismatic ringleader, punishing a pathetic target like snape [as they see themselves]. they see him as only a few rungs of pathetic above snape himself.
and he realises this, and it festers, and it ends with him making them both pay for underestimating him.
on "the prank tm"...
1. sirius tells us in prisoner of azkaban that the werewolf prank was a punishment - cooked up because he wanted to teach snape a lesson for constantly eavesdropping on the marauders. 2. this would - therefore - mean that sirius announcing his intention to lure snape to the shack would meet lupin's threshold for being something snape himself provoked/the marauders retaliating to defend themselves. 3. lupin has a tell when he's lying: he says "er" or "erm". when he describes the prank in prisoner of azkaban, in a way which heavily implies the entire thing was sirius' idea and that neither he nor james had any prior knowledge of the plan... this tell is out in force. he was clearly in on it - and so, without a doubt, was james. 4. it's really striking that pettigrew is completely irrelevant to the incident - not only in sirius and lupin's retelling, but in snape's. he clearly wasn't involved - there's no way that snape wouldn't have mentioned it if he was. 5. the prank looks, then, like the perfect encapsulation of this dynamic. - sirius and james as ringleaders - lupin allowed to ascend to their level as a co-conspirator, because he's justified the plan to himself in a way his friends know won't cause him to flake - pettigrew excluded from this trio of equal standing because his friends treat him as an afterthought - good for back-up in a hallway duel, useless when it comes to something which requires a bit of slyness and charm.
#asks answered#asenora meta#the marauders#sirius black#remus lupin#peter pettigrew#james potter#twotr answers#s&c answers
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Let get naughty ❤️🥒
#trans photographer#trans peter parker#transisbeautiful#trans c#trans poc#trans captions#trans punx#trans character#trans catgirl#trans christian#trans pride#trans femme#trans cinema#transfem#transgender#trans girl#anti trans#transmasc#bds movement#bdsmaccount#bdsmblog#bdsmbondage#bdsmdaddy#bdsmcollars#bdsmdominant#bdsmgirl#trans catholic#trans family#trans james potter#bdsmfetish
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rip lily evans you would've loved platform ugg boots!!
#the day lily evans died was the day c*nt died#fanart of this will be coming soon#lily evans#james potter#remus lupin#all the young dudes#marauders era#harry potter#sirius orion black#the marauders#wolfstar#sirius black#rip lily evans you girlbossed too close to the sun#jily
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where: little tart bakery around ten pm who: @jamesffleamont when: 4th of august, 2024
The reality of her situation was sinking in. It wasn't a nightmare that she could wake up from, the ring on her finger a constant reminder of the life she was about to lead. The emptiness that filled her felt suffocating and even more so that she had moved out of her flat above her bakery, leaving it for Greta, to move in with her fiancé; her parents pushing for her to live with him. They were proud that both of their daughters were promised to upstanding respectable families within the pureblood society.
She couldn't bring herself to return back to the townhome, not yet, stuck in her kitchen at the bakery, losing herself in her baking; yet even that wasn't going to work for her. Smoke filled the room, quickly moving to pull out the pumpkin pastries that were burnt. BURNT. Alara had never burnt anything in her life, and considering their meaning, she broken. Tears streamed from her eyes, the anger and hurt no longer able to contain and without much thought, she started to throw items that her fingers found around the room, the breaking of glass or clatter of pans hitting the floor not satisfying enough.
"This isn't fair." She yells out into the room, reaching for her standing shelves, using the strength she has to push them over, everything on them falling to the ground. Her chest heaves, fingers grabbing at the root of her hair, pulling hard, when she looks up to find a figure standing there through glossy eyes. She blinks back a few times, dropping her hands to wipe under her eyes to finally realise who was standing there.
"Jae," she whispers in shock, moving around the island in the middle of the kitchen, and without much thought, her arms wrap around him, burying her face into his chest. "I don't want to marry him." She mumbles.
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When a post I see here on tumblr mentions a James I first have to think if it's about James St. Clair or James Potter.
#just saw a post and thought it was dark rise james but then there was Regulus mentioned and I was like:#Ah that's James Potter my bad#dark rise#dark heir#c s pacat#james st clair#the marauders#dead gay wizards#james potter#regulus black#jegulus
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So, I have proof that the universe (or at least magnum) ships jegulus:
#im here for it#i made my mate stop in the middle of the street so i could take this#im obsessed#dangerously obsessed lmao#anywayssss#marauders#regulus black#james potter#jegulus#dead gay wizards#james x regulus#starchaser#SEE ITS CALLED STARCHASER#FUCKING C A L L E D STARTCHASER#ugh i Wish the other one was sunseeker#but still#this is fucking brilliant#sunseeker#james sunshine potter#sirius black#remus lupin#wolfstar#james fleamont potter#regulus arcturus black#marauders fandom#we're insane#all of us
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Hi! I absolutely love your writing and saw that your requests were open so I thought I’d shoot this over. If you don’t vibe with it don’t worry about skipping it. I was wondering if I could request a James x reader where they are living together and definitely love each other but they’ve kind of slipped into a roommate phase. Like they’re just living around each other and reader starts feeling insecure and scared and doesn’t know how to get back into normalcy. Maybe a little angsty with some fluff at the end
Thanks lovely!
modern au
James Potter x fem!reader ♡ 2.4k words
When James comes in the front door, his shoes squelch. You look him up and down, dripping wet and mud caked up to his knees. You wince.
“Rough practice?”
“Like you wouldn’t believe,” James says, dropping his bag by the door and heading for the kitchen.
There’s an exhausted slump to his shoulders, and his shoes leave a muddy trail of footprints, and you hate to do it, but—
“Would you mind taking off your shoes?”
“Oh.” James looks down. You see him follow the trail with his eyes. “Yeah, sorry.”
“It’s fine.”
You hate yourself as soon as it’s out of your mouth, because that’s exactly the sort of thing you’d say if it wasn’t fine. And yeah, you’re a bit peeved that he’d track mud inside after you’d mopped the floors just yesterday, but you know he wasn’t thinking about it and you’d promised yourself just this morning that you were going to be nicer to him and now he’s sitting on the floor looking like his day is getting worse instead of better.
You try again.
“Um, I made dinner.” You step over him awkwardly, setting a hand on his head to help yourself. James doesn’t shrink from the touch, but he doesn’t lean into it like you could swear he used to either. The stove turns off like it’s relieved to do it, having idled for close to a half hour while you waited for James to get home. You wanted to try and eat together tonight; you used to do it all the time, but lately you’ve been having too many couch dinners by your lonesome. “Macaroni and cheese, is that alright?”
“Yeah, thanks.” You jolt a little at James’ hand on your back as he reaches around you for a bowl, and he looks at you, lips quirking like you’re funny.
You find yourself smiling back by muscle memory, a reflex almost forgotten. It lifts your heart.
“So, how was practice?”
James glances up at you, then goes back to filling his bowl. “I’ve already told you,” he says. “Rough.”
“Oh, right.” You huff out a little laugh. He passes you the spoon, and you take it without really looking at him. “Sorry.”
His answering smile is weaker this time. More a press of his lips than anything.
“Don’t be.” He kisses you on the cheek, then goes, pulling out his chair at the table.
You take your seat, too. A lot of these base routines have begun to feel empty lately. They used to be an assurance for you, like if you always wore your same paths into the carpet you’d become so entrenched in this house, in James’ house, that neither he nor it could ever let you leave. You loved knowing that if he was back from his run when you woke up in the morning, there’d be a glass of orange juice waiting for you on the counter. That when the flowers on your kitchen table started to wilt you’d come home to a fresh bunch, and that if you called and told him you were having a bad day lunch from your favorite sandwich shop would miraculously show up at your work. Those things used to make your heart feel full to bursting, because they meant he was thinking of you.
Now you’re not sure what they mean. They seem like things James does because he’s supposed to, like part of a script, a routine. Chores.
As soon as he’s sat down, he’s digging into his dinner. James eats like a boy. Wolfing, like someone’s going to take it away from him. You hope it means he likes it.
“What’d you do today, m’love?” he asks through a mouthful.
And see, he says things like that. Calls you his love, asks about your day. It’s all started to fall flat. You know he’ll take whatever answer you give him, because you’ve begun to suspect he doesn’t really care.
“Nothing crazy,” you answer honestly. “Shayna’s baby came early, so I’m taking on a bit more at work until they can find someone to fill in for her. So that’s a bit stressful, but it’s not awful.”
“Mm.” James nods, but doesn’t offer more than that. His mouth seems to be perpetually full.
You fork a macaroni noodle, pretending you have more appetite than you do. Truthfully, you’ve felt weird and off and vaguely nauseous all day.
Last night had been a bit of a breaking point for you. It came on rather suddenly. You’d gone to bed long after James, but you couldn’t sleep. You couldn’t seem to tear your eyes from him, the way the moonlight snuck in through the slats in your blinds to fall across his sleeping face. He was so beautiful, and you loved him so much you didn’t know what to do with it all, and then you were crying.
You’d wept silently, wishing James would wake up, but you were unwilling to rouse him and he wasn’t going to do it himself. Eventually, you’d fallen asleep with your pillowcase damp and cold under your cheek and woke to find James’ side of the bed empty as usual. Orange juice on the counter.
“I was wondering if you might want to watch a film tonight,” you say lightly. “I saw they’ve put that sci-fi one you like back on Netflix.”
“Ah, have they really?” James swallows, forks another bite. “Wish I could, but I’m supposed to meet everyone at Spoons in a few minutes here.”
Oh. The realization hits you like a dull thud, smack in the center of your chest. He’s not eating quickly because he likes your food; it’s because he wants to leave.
“Can’t you stay here?” Your voice is small. James looks at you like he’s not sure what to make of it.
“Not tonight, sweetheart.” He offers you a smile. His fork clinks in the bottom of an empty bowl, and his chair screeches as it’s pushed back. James brushes his lips across your cheek as he goes by. “We’ll have to do it this weekend, though, definitely.”
You know by now these sorts of promises aren’t meant to keep. They come written in disappearing ink.
He heads upstairs to change, and desperation grips you. It forgets he’ll be home later and puts you hot on his heels, your own dinner left on the table barely touched.
“Jamie, wait.” He pauses with his shirt half off, looking over at you in the doorway of your bedroom. “Don’t you feel like we’ve not had much time together lately?” you ask.
The plea is naked in your tone, and James’ eyes soften. He tugs his shirt off, straightens his glasses. “I haven’t had time for much of anything lately,” he says, shrugging good-naturedly.
It’s true. He’s been busy. His new coach seems to think the team has nothing but time, and as captain James is expected to commit even more than most. When he’s not at training, he’s keeping fit on his own or running errands for his mum or sleeping it all off in your bed.
“But you should come tonight,” James goes on brightly. “Dorcas and Marlene will be there, it’ll be fun.”
He tosses his clothes in the laundry bin and makes his way over to the dresser. You cross your arms, then uncross them. Parse your words. “I don’t…I just feel like you hung out with your friends last night, you know?”
“You could’ve come then, too,” he says, stepping into a pair of jeans. “They all love you, you know that.”
“I don’t want to hang out with your friends.” It comes out sharper than you intend, though not less sharp than the look James gives you. He’s finished getting dressed but doesn’t make to leave. “That’s not what I mean. I like your friends, but it’s not…the same as spending time with you. It doesn’t count, for me.” Your voice softens on the last two words, knowing that for James, it might very well count.
For him, you’ve gathered, social time is social time. So long as you’re there, he’ll feel just as connected to you as if you were curled up on the couch together having a private conversation. You wish your brain worked the same way, but it doesn’t.
He’s looking at you with something like trepidation now, so you state it plainly.
“I really miss you, Jamie.” A blockage rises in your throat. You swallow it back down. “I feel like…I don’t know what’s going on with us lately.”
“We’re the same as we have been.” He looks confused, worse when your face pinches painfully.
“And that’s all?” You try to blink them away, but tears burn in your eyes. “This is just what we do now?”
“No.” James looks appalled, but you catch the quick glance he gives to the digital clock on his nightstand. “It’s only for now, just until the season’s over and Coach mellows out. Where’s this coming from?”
You blink hard, angling your head away from him. “Nothing, sorry. I’m just being emotional.” Your breath scrapes on the way in. You pretend it doesn’t. “It’s okay if you have to go.”
He shakes his head, and when you start back towards the stairs anyway, he says, “No, come on.” In a few long strides, he’s got your elbow. He tugs you gently back into the room. “Let’s sit down, okay? What’s going on?”
“Sorry.” Your voice is pitchy and tight. You think you hear James inhale softly before he’s drawing you into a hug. It doesn’t feel quite like it used to, but it’s still warm, still nice.
He sits you both down on the edge of your bed, arms still wrapped loosely around you. “What are you sorry for, baby?”
“I was going to try not to make your life harder today,” you laugh wetly, pulling back from him to swipe under your eyes.
“You don’t make my life harder,” James says, somewhere near to dismayed as he slides his hand to your shoulder. “Of course you don’t.”
You give him a look meant to say, Oh, come on, but you’re not sure how it comes off with your face blotchy and snot starting to run from your nose. You take in a big breath, trying to calm yourself.
“I think I’ve made it harder more than I’ve made it easier lately,” you admit, looking at your bedcover and also at nothing at all. “I didn’t even really realize until recently, but I’ve just felt so…disconnected from you lately. It’s like even when you’re here, I’m just around you and not with you, and—” Your voice catches, and you inhale again. “And I know you’re really busy, but I’m just trying to find ways to fix it.”
James’ hand drops from your shoulder, into his lap, and you lift your gaze. He looks crestfallen. “What do you want me to do?” he asks quietly, his own voice starting to sound raw. “I can’t control these things. And we live together, I see you all the time. It doesn’t seem fair to ask me not to see my mates.”
“I’m not asking you to do that.” You’re horrified. “But that’s just it, Jamie, it’s like we only live together anymore. Saying hi when you come in, waving when you go back out, those don’t count as quality time for me. And I wish I could get the same feelings from being in a big group that you do, but I can’t.”
James looks at you helplessly. You shrug, just as powerless.
“I know it’s not your fault,” you tell him, and a tear drips off your chin. “I don’t know what to do, either. I just want you to know that I’m trying, okay?”
James nods for a minute. Thoughtful, heartbroken. He lets out a big breath. Your arms come around each other at almost the same time, so in sync you can’t be sure who reaches for the other first. You’re trying not to get snot on his fresh shirt, but he palms the back of your head, pressing your face to his shoulder.
“Okay,” he says quietly. “You’re right, we should both be trying more. I think I’ve let myself get so overwhelmed that I’m not…almost not even thinking throughout the day, but that’s no excuse. I’m sorry you’ve been dealing with all of this by yourself.”
“It’s not your fault,” you repeat, and a little laugh rumbles through James’ chest. He hugs you tighter.
“It is a little bit, though, isn’t it? I haven’t been paying attention. But okay, let’s make a plan for now.” His hand splays out between your shoulder blades, and you clutch at the material of his shirt, both of you wordlessly trying to get closer as if you can make up for lost time. “Come with me tonight, please.” You go still, but James goes on, “I know it’s not a solution, but I can’t back out and I’d really feel so much better if you were there. Please, angel. And tomorrow, we’ll stay in and watch something. Not a film only I like,” he gives your back a teasing little squeeze, “but something we can both get into. Or we can just talk, or play a game, I don’t care. Tomorrow is our night, yeah?”
“Yeah,” you sniff, nodding and pulling away slightly so you can wipe your face. James joins in, pinching your nose clean for you and wiping the snot on his jeans carelessly. “Yeah, okay. I’ll try to clear my busy schedule.”
He smiles. It’s like the sun beaming through clouds. “I’d appreciate that. Really hard to get ahold of you these days.” You let out a little laugh, and his grin spreads. “Good, so that’s for now, and at training on Friday I’m going to talk to Coach about cutting down on our hours.”
You feel your eyebrows pinch. “Jamie, you don’t have to—”
“I do,” he says. “I’ve been a wuss about it, but everyone on the team is miffed and it’s really my job to handle it. He doesn’t know everything yet, so I can at least give him some advice about how we operate best.”
James palms the back of your neck, pulling you towards him and meeting you halfway. His forehead presses against yours.
“I’m really glad you said something. Thanks for being the smart one, as usual.” Your smile is small at first, but James nudges his nose against yours until it blooms in full. “We’re gonna make it better, okay?”
You swallow thickly. “Okay. Thanks, Jamie.”
“Don’t thank me.” His voice takes on a tender quality, and you push your forehead into his. He palms your cheeks in response, stamping his lips to your forehead. “Love you, sweetheart.”
“I love you, too.”
That was never up for debate.
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