#cackling like a dumbass rn | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

eldritchsun · 10 months

Text

I found my Realm Of the Elderlings opinions in my diary and I still stand by them almost 5 years later

first entry and it's already terminal :

aug 30 2018

OHHHHH my god fitzchivalry YOU ARE THE REAL FOOL

i am so fucking done with this ABSOLUTE dumbass i can’t deal. the farseer books got me fucked up. he is SO stupid sometimes!! [ranting in french] fitz you are so self absorbed!!!! you really are just furious because u love the bastard. i swear to god fitzchivalry, just square the fuck up i’m teleporting to les six duchets just to shake you a lil

sep 26 2018

My ass is losing it reading The Liveship Traders!!!

Altheaaaaaa!! Mrs Hobb I BEG you!! We’ve suffered enough with One Dumbass Teenager! Fitzchilvary growing up is enough Pure Dumbassery-driven decision making for the next ten years of my life, and that’s from someone who’s still running on dumbassery themselves!!

The worst of it is... rn I’m like Althea... hoe plz... stop... but I can feel it. This is how Fitz got me... is this a stupid teenager with Big Problems who’s gonna grow through and despite them? What is this within my heart?

And Robin Hobb bursts through my door, my beating heart in her hands, slams it on the table and bellows “ITS THE SEEDS OF LOVE”

oct 19 2018

Kennit “[wintro's french name] is beautiful” Pirate King

Hobbs recurring gay themes r so ??? To me but at the same time bring me so much joy lol

Canon nonbinary Annoyance Fool “in love with Fitzchilvary” Prophet

Althea “drag king” Vestrit and lesbian/bi girl solidarity friendship with amber.

Malta “Homophobic Queen” Havre.

And now, absolute legend kennit “surcoure do you love me” pirate king. I know one gay couple is actually endgame over the course of Hobbs books [ndlr i don't remember wtf i was talking about] and I’m thinking it might be this one. I mean, it’s not great hashtag representation but it’s great story telling!

Sweet monk Wintrow with dumbass pirate kennit? Who’s completely and irrevocably in love and admiration for him?

This idiot of a kennit is literally constantly like [french ranting about kennit etta hate and wintrow love]

Lol kennit mate come out

however the next entry doesn't make much sense but features the sentences "kennit thinks he’s so smart!! Fuck you, half a pirate!!!" (the title of the entry (oct 26 2018) is "kennit bitchass of the century" so clearly he fell out of favour)

nov 26 2018

Literally in ROTE if I was there for one of Ambers prophecies I would legit be like... ok sis... wig?

nov 30 2018

Checked the notes on that women writers rec list and several other people already wrote “this is Robin Hobb erasure” in those exact words :’)

So in honour of this hivemind I must say : I am having the time of my life with the Liveship Traders, excites rant with (huge) spoilers ahead :

I am at that point where Kennit is about to get absolutely WRECKED and I swear to god it feels so satisfying. The character arc and development for every single character in these books is pure mastery. In the case of Kennit you really go from “what a despicable man he really just has luck on his side” to “well I guess even if he did good accidentally he still did good... I almost love this Awful Imbecile” and finish straight into “OH!! NEVERMIND he really was a despicable man the whole time!!!”, a pit of disgust right on time where the whole story is setting up to absolutely destroy him. Kennit is a great example of how “does the right thing for the wrong reasons” is not equivalent in terms of ethics as “does the right thing for the right reasons”. But to quote a great thinker “they really had us in that first half I’m not gonna lie!”

What I really like in these books is that the centristTM opinions of certain main characters are not automatically & heavily presented as the right ones. I am still cackling at Hiémain’s “but they didn’t deserve to die!!” bullshit not being put on a pedestal. Ms Hobb did that! Her mind! Also the Vestrit family not being given an (entirely, let’s be real) free pass for not standing up to Kyle and letting Vivacia happen. The main characters, the actual heroes try to pass off responsibility for bad things and in most media it’s like “but they didn’t directly kill someone with their own hands so aren’t they kinda innocent?”

and then it skips to a single entry line (dec 3 2018) "reyn khuprus is a massive idiot" :')

dec 12 2018

Fitz I missed u so much

I have not seen this boy for 9 books and this hoe is worried abt being ugly, please never change boo

dec 14 2018

Fitz and the fool interacting is genuinely maddening I’m just walking along like KISS! KISS! KISS!

Fitz you are an immense idiot and the smartest one of the bunch is the goddamn wolf.

Jan 8 2019

Ohhhh my goodness gracious

I have gone full baby on Dutiful, he is the sweetest most cute drama teen since Fitzchivalry himself. I love him with the force of an exploding sun. His interactions with every other character are both precious and absolutely hilarious. He’s got a great mini-me vibe going on with Fitz, wrapped in Hobbs usual delicious irony.

Also poor Dutiful so lonely and starving for warmth, human attention!! The bit where Fitz is like all them hoes been begging me for this for MONTHS but I just can’t say no to those baby blues. I was like congrats Dutiful you just got a dad! Free dad with your meal!

And the Fool interaction like Dutiful you lucky boy you! You went from zero dads to TWO! It’s buy one get one free.

This dad was kinda mean so I had to get another one to counter balance it.

Jan 15 2019

Fitzchilvary « Homophobia » Farseer

Fitz!!!!!!!! Fitz!!!!!!!! Robin Hobb I swear to god you better gay these boys up or i will see you in court

the latest entry is apparently post "the golden fool"

Jan 29 2019

BELOVED WENT HAND TO MOUUUUUUTH!!!!!!

I am absolutely losing it! hand to mouth hand to mouth !!! Fitz called him BELOVED!!!!!! YAS MF QUEEN! Icon! legend!

and if i remember rightly (which i don't, it was five years ago, i don't remember anything) i got real upset at queerbaiting and stopped reading. i like googled "are they actually gay" the answer came back hashtag no and i stopped reading out of disgust :/

#rote #fitzchivalry farseer #well i still love these books intently but i did get really cross at the time

8 notes · View notes

chaoticstateofaffairs · 1 year

Text

If anyone were to walk into this house rn we’d be committed 💀

Cackling like 2 fucking dumbasses 💀

1 note · View note

spookbot · 3 years

Text

a really fun exercise is imagining your vampire/otherwise supernatural OCs tweaked JUST enough, tonally, to exist in the WWDITS universe

#i'm imagining ari and august rn and cackling #writing ari's dialogue already almost feels like that's where he is #he just needs that little sprinkle of dumbass #i think eremund in this context could also be VERY funny and use literal parasite landlord to its full potential #(of comedy and commentary)#jasper the ghost in the park making people wet no not like that (that's the running joke)#gethin 100% would fit in. no he is not stealing semen that is an outrageous rumour #second would ALSO fit in god why am i not writing something already tonally like wwdits

7 notes · View notes

mikumixtwix · 5 years

Text

so..........the wayfinder trio fits perfectly for a wizards of waverly place au

#i legit c a n n ot stop thinking about this now #its like perfect #except maybe aqua fits kinda more as justin cause they smart but whatever #anyways ventus as max is PERFECT and has me cackling rn #and like instead of him turning into a girl in that one ep he turns into vanitas #actually yeah terra and alex are both dumb that rlly works #chaotic dumbass terra is perfect #pay no attention to the girl behind the post #kingdom hearts

3 notes · View notes

whompwhompwah · 2 years

Text

Azul and Kalim with a Bubbly, Carefree S/O!

i prob shoulda made this 7 days ago but I am EXHAUSTED lolol

gender-neutral s/o! spoilers up to chapter 5

warning: I have no idea how to write for the tweels… also this is kinda long

////

this man honestly just saw you as a blithering dumbass

what person in your condition is so nice ?? obviously kalim is nice but that’s cuz he’s rich and all that, you’re in a shitty rundown dorm with a bunch on nuisances around you!

so in his humble and totally non-biased opinion, you are stupid

so when you team up with leona to destroy his contracts he is, for a second surprised that you have functioning brain cells. then he’s pissed.

after the whole overblot stuff, when you, the idiot trio, and the octavinelle trio are coming back from returning the school photo is when you and him truly bond.

since the walk back is mostly quiet between the two of you (if you forget about the tweels driving adeuce and grim insane in the background), you strike up a conversation!

bold for someone who literally just ruined his life’s work

but he here’s you out. you’re definitely smarter then he gave you credit for anyways.

and what you say makes his face RED. steaming, on fire, burning! someone call the fire department, you just nuked the building

“azul, I understand why you’re so keen on hiding your octo-form, especially with your background, but for the record,” you gave him a lopsided grin, leaning forward a little bit as you stop in your place.

“I think you were really cute back then, and you’re still cute now. those people back then had no idea what they were talking about!”

he stills there, speechless, before stuttering up a storm and covering his face in embarrassment.

you just hum a little, adorably, and wait for him to recover.

and THATS the moment it happened. that’s the moment you RUINED his life. that’s the moment you EMBARRASSED him completely.

he’s overreacting. he has a crush on you. briefly thinks he’s sick for a moment, or that you placed a curse on him like riddle. (he was so out of it he forgot you were magicless).

so he does what any rational person does when complimented by a cutie.

he runs.

like a loser /j

you stare blankly, blinking a few times before looking back at floyd and jade, worrying that you had offended him. you shouldn’t have brought up such a sore subject, you think.

but floyd looks amused, and jade has his gloved hand over his mouth, as if he’s trying to conceal a giggle. very out of character for him

when you ask what happened, they just smile. “little shrimpy realllyy riled up azul~ he had a funnyy lookin’ reaction tho~!” floyd cackled at his own comment, before jade beckoned him to follow azul back to the mostro lounge.

safe to say, you were fairly confused for a while. and anxious. had you offended him ????

not very carefree y/n of you, s/o

but in your defense, he had just come down from a serious overblot and you didn’t want to hurt his feelings

meanwhile, azul is straight up getting bullied by the tweels, getting pushed around and teased left and right every time he left a lingering glance at you or asked one of your acquaintances to deliver you a coupon for a free drink just to see you (you did come sometimes and he was ECSTATIC !! never talked to you tho lol)

where your and his love story really takes place is when he gets to play hero for you !!!! finally !!!!!!! a chance !!!!!!!!

his heart is absolutely going BONKERS when he saves you and grim from scarabia !!

it’s quickly crushed when you guys get absolutely launched to hell by jamil

while everyone is groaning and mumbling curses under their breath, azul turns to you apologetically. he was supposed to be your knight in shining armor !!!! he is absolutely drowning im humiliation and self depreciation rn. sad puppy eyes and everything

you softly smile at him and tell him it’s okay, no one could have done anything anyways! you’re just happy he came for you :)

he is so flattered and love struck by your words that he just-

“I love you.”

HE IS IMMEDIATELY MORTIFIED.

horrified, frantic apologies escape his mouth, but you just light up!

you say, “there’s a reason I want to keep visiting the lounge, you know? i keep hoping to see you, but I never got to! I’m so happy you feel the same way!!”

you are practically jumping up and down, while azul melts

azul can feel himself leaning closer and closer to you subconsciously, himself mesmerized by your kindness, your endless sweetness

closer and closer, and-

“will ya two get a room ?? we’ve got more important things to think about then you two!”

at grims exclamations, you both turn to the tweels + grim and kalim. the tweels are giving azul freaky grins while kalim looks absolutely delighted for you two!

looking around, you notice a filled up water source, and the tweels in their natural forms. obviously they had found a way back without you two.

you two, visibly embarrassed walk back up to the group, getting ready to leave with them. you hold onto azul while he reluctantly turns into his octopus form. his nervousness fades away when he sees how wondered and excited at seeing him!

he’s incredibly happy, for once, that someone ruined his life. because it started a better, newer one- one where he could feel happy and accepted by someone important.

he was truly a fortunate soul <3

he and mal are the only ones i can imagine that didn’t initially hate/degrade you tbh lol

this man is a sweetheart !!! he made friends with you early on!

when you had exposed leona, giving jamil and several of his fellow scarabia students “justice” per say, he was so HAPPY !! absolutely delighted !! he was incredibly grateful for what you did :)

he raided his storage room (his treasure room, that’s probably worth 800,000,000,000 madols) to look for the perfect gift for you! he remembered your little tanuki friend had a lovely black-and-white striped bow that had a gorgeous purple gemstone in the front of it, and looked desperately for something similar!

there he found, in a little chest, a short necklace with a small bow with an delicate blue gem as the centerpiece, connected by several diamonds adorning lace as the “string”.

he approaches you excitedly on a sunny day, when you are walking to the library. you are separated from adeuce and grim, which isn’t a common sight! nevertheless, he skips over to you.

presenting the gift, which is probably worth more madols than your life, he thanks you earnestly and happily for bringing peace to the spelldrive tournament! he offers a large, luxury party in your honor, which you unfortunately decline, siting that you don’t have the time, but then you offer to hang out with him tomorrow, which visibly makes him perk up in excitement!

he is unnaturally excited for this hangout! he could immediately feel you and him click and he spent the whole day gushing to jamil about it! but he is a bit dense and figures it’s because he made a new friend! always an exciting occasion!

he spent a solid 20 minutes standing at the door waiting for you. when you finally arrive, he instantly opens the door before you can even knock on it and drags you in! but you don’t mind, you actually find his excitement quite endearing

he gives you an action packed tour around his dorm, introducing you to some people, before he finally snaps out of his excitement and notices your outfit.

it’s so dirty! have you always been wearing that??

with no filter he says that straight to your face. luckily you’re aware he means this kindly, as he does not have a malicious bone in his body.

you awkwardly state that you don’t have a lot of clothes to spare since crowley (fuck that guy) barely tends to provide for you.

kalim is APPALED.

see, he was pampered his whole life, getting all the clothes he wants so he is more than a little shocked.

but then that shock turns into instant determination !! he needs to get you clothes and stat!

he tells you to wait with jamil (who is throughly annoyed and confused) and runs off to a smaller storage room for scarabia students in general, a spare uniform room. he finds one he assumes to be in your size and gives it to you!

turns out he has GREAT EYES for design and gets your size right on the dot! how lucky!

after you’re done hanging out and you have stacks upon stacks of dorm clothes, you finally leave, right as it becomes evening.

after that, scarabia pretty much becomes your second home! you hang you there every other day with kalim (sometimes grim is there but ever since kalim started feeding him crackers he’s.. been a little distant from the dorm), you’re practically a scarabia remember!

you’re just like kalim, just less dense and with better grades!

soon adeuce starts getting suspicious. clearly you two are together.. right ? i mean, you totally would’ve told them but.. I mean, you have scarabian dorm clothes that you wear to school, you and kalim are joint at the hip, jamil constantly complains to the basketball team about how you’re constantly on his nerves…

y’all gotta be together

so idiot duo decides to do some stalking, some sleuthing

takin a page outta rooks book, good for them

basically they been to ask around scarabia members whether or not you seem romantic together, which the answers are usually a resounding yes.

then they begin seeing and listening to how you two talk together. what they’ve notices is that you two stand suspiciously close.. you two don’t stop looking at each other… you two are very physically affectionate…

after thirty minutes of investigation they immediately jump to conclusion.

and confront you two both.

because they are stupid.

“hey!! s/o!!” adeuce marched up to you two, over-confidently.

“hey you two-“ you start off, before stopping, seeing their borderline hurt expressions.

“why didn’t you tell us you were datin kalim??” deuce asked. you could almost see his eyes get glossy as he begins to get emotional for no reason. “did you not trust us enough?”

“yeah! explain, now!” ace is a different story, visibly upset.

you blink at these two, as a few seconds go by.

then you and kalim both laugh at them. in their faces. they both get very defensive and upset immediately.

“h-hey !! we’re trying to confront you here! you can’t just laugh at us!” adeuce desperately tries to see what’s so funny here.

you wipe an imaginary tear from your eye as kalim says- “we’re not dating! what are you talking about?”

ace sputters for a few seconds, before saying “but the affectionate glances! the way-to-close-to-be-romantic hugs! kalim, you’ve kissed s/o on the CHEEK!”

kalim laughed light-heartedly, “that’s because they’re my best friend!” he scratched his cheek a little, visibly flustered. “not that I would mind dating them, haha!”

adeuce blinked as you both laughed. “I wouldn’t mind dating you either kalim! you’d make the perfect partner!” you say, smiling.

deuce and ace look like they’re about to go insane.

ace pulled his hair angrily, face tinting red in frustration. emulating a certain dorm-leader, aren’t you, ace?

“if you don’t mind dating each other that bad, then why don’t you just date, huh???”

that shuts you and kalim right up, as you eyed each other.

kalim was the first to break eye-contact, settling with a close eyed grin. “why not?” he began, “s/o is a lovely person, if they would want to date I wouldn’t mind!” to which you say- “I’d love to!” and interlock hands with him.

you two stupid idiots were dating the whole time.

adeuce died that day, of raw anger and disbelief while you two walked off to go on a proper date.

you are kalims diamond in the rough, and honestly anyone who didn’t see it is a dumbass <3

///

kalims was weak and I hate it :( but I hope it was okay !! have a wonderful day, remember to hydrate !!

#twisted wonderland #twst #twst kalim #twst azul #kalim al asim #azul ashengrotto #twst jade #twst floyd #twst jamil #jamil viper #floyd leech #jade leech #twisted wonderland hc #twisted wonderland headcanons #twisted wonderland headcanon

25 notes · View notes

starglow-xx · 3 years

Note

hello! may i request headcanons for chuuya having a crush on someone who's dense? like he could ask them out in the most straightforward way possible and it would still go over their head?

yes, yes of course you may!

sorry this took so long! my computer was out of commission for abt a week (or two..??)

but this is also my birthday writing piece for chuuya!! (4/29/21) i even added a small drabble thingy in addition to the hcs for the occasion hehe

from where i am, it is about fifteen minutes past midnight so it’s officially chuuya day here!!

happy birthday chuuya i love you! you deserve the whole world and everyone is willing to fight tooth and nail to ensure your happiness! we love you! 💗💗

anyways, i hope you all enjoy this! i kinda had some writer’s block but it was still a lot of fun to write! there might be some mistakes, but i’ll scan over it again later. reader is gender neutral! have fun!

chuuya having a crush on a dense! reader

nakahara chuuya x gn! reader

im cackling somebody help him

he’s frustrated bc you can’t take a hint or a thousand but he can’t even be mad bc he’s whipped

“look at you all dressed up today, wanna go out later? my treat?”

“oh really? thanks chuuya-san! you’re such a nice friend. i’ll go invite the others right now, i’ll see you later!”

“...”

fast forward to later in the evening and he finds himself at a little restaurant with the black lizard + higuchi and akutagawa

sigh

in unison all of them go, “thank you for the meal chuuya-san!” (except aku and hirotsu are quieter & and gin just a nods hehe)

“no problem” (ꐦ ´͈ ᗨ `͈ )

gin only pats him on the back in sympathy

he spends a lot of time trying to think of ways to make it absolutely and undeniably clear that he has feelings for you

he always fails

“(y/n) i like you”

“i like you too chuuya-san”

“really?”

“mhm”

“t-then will you—”

“you’re a really great friend! and superior too”

“...nevermind”

“oh were you saying something?”

“nah, just forget about it”

tachihara is laughing in the corner of the corridor

dont worry, chuuya made sure to get back at him

chuuya’s been pinning after you for years and frankly, his failed attempts to woo you has lead everyone to the breaking point

and i mean everyone

yes, even aku

hell even dazai

but dazai also thinks it’s funny, so he doesn’t mind all that much

okay bye bye dazai-san this headcanon set isn’t abt you rn

PLEASE EVERYONE FEELS SO BAD FOR HIM

they knew even if he kissed you, you still might not get it

so they decided to help him

super secret mission get chuuya and (y/n) together is a go!

they’re still working on a proper mission name, don’t mind them

they had a super secret strategy meeting!

you can bet your ass that they nearly got nothing done

akutagawa & kaiji weren’t much help, neither was higuchi, mori, or elise

tachihara nearly got killed for a thoughtless comment

“just tell them chuuya-san!”

“i already fucking did you ass!”

gin, hirotsu, and kouyou were the most helpful !!

hirotsu and kouyou both agreed on the idea that chuuya should try courting with bouquets of flowers instead of flat out asking you bc they knew you found them pretty

(even if you don’t identify as a female, flowers are for everyone no matter gender or sexuality! so let’s normalize giving flowers to everyone <33 )

gin didn’t speak but she used cards to communicate

everyone knew that you weren’t stupid (you wouldn’t have survived in the mafia if you were) but they did know that you were only stupid when it came to all this lovey dovey stuff

i mean, if chuuya gave you flowers every so often, there’s no way that you wouldn’t piece it together at some point

right...??

but kouyou assured him that even though you wouldn’t get it right away, you’d appreciate the gestures and that he’ll stand out more

she even said that if someone gave her flowers, she would appreciate it, whether or not she reciprocated their feelings

it takes guts to be so up front with your feelings after all

gin and hirotsu only nodded with her explanation

once again, this only provoked a reaction out of tachihara

“what do you know gin? i get the old man and kouyou-san, they’re grown, but you? what do you know abt courting? or flowers? what are you a girl?”

akutagawa choked on his cough, higuchi on air, and on the other side of yokohoma at the ada, dazai is cackling

yes, dazai somehow placed a listening device onto chuuya’s hat and was listening in

don’t ask how, it’s dazai

“DAZAI GET YOUR BANDAGED ASS OFF THE COUCH AND STOP LAUGHING”

anyways

the next day, chuuya did what was barely discussed and for once, things actually started to look up

until they started look to down again

at first, it actually looked like you understood his intentions after he gave you a bouquet of flowers

literally everyone was leaning against the opposite hallway you two were in and then they got excited !!

especially chuuya !

but then your expression sort of changed...??

and then in their heads they simultaneously went, “oh no”

they knew that expression

it was very familiar when you tended to friend zone chuuya

but boy let me tell you what you said next made them facepalm and or make their jaws drop

“ah, so you really are friend zoning me huh chuuya-san; what a shame, i really did like you”

LEMME TELL YOU WHEN I SAY THAT CHUUYA WAS DISTRESSED I MEAN HE WAS DISTRESSED

you liked him??

him of all people??

he wasn’t complaining, no of course not, but he still couldn’t believe it

but that wasn’t what he was really focusing on right now

what in any form or language did it say he was friend zoning you?!

flower language apparently

chuuya chose to buy the bouquet of yellow roses, pink carnations, and yellow carnations bc he thought you would appreciate the brighter colors, and so that you’d remember them better (because remembering them, meant remembering him)

but ooh boy

altogether, they meant the exact opposite message he wanted to send

someone help him pls

“you see chuuya-san, yellow roses mean friendship, pink carnations mean gratitude, and yellow carnations mean rejection; sooo in a nutshell, these pretty much say ‘thank you for being my friend, but im rejecting you”

no one can tell if tachihara is crying or wheezing

and dazai is having the time of his life

yes, he started listening in on him again

and chuuya is just stunned

like speechless and unmoving stunned

is he just bad at this whole courting/dating thing?? it’s only been one day and of it and somehow he was the one doing the rejecting??

“thank you for the flowers chuuya-san, i’ll be going now; i’ll make sure to let this affect our friendship. i’ll see you tomorrow!”

you passed by the not so subtle group of people

“tachihara-kun..?? are you alright?”

just for context, he was leaning his forehead against the wall using his forearm

again, it was hard to tell whether he was crying or wheezing

“i-im okay (y/n)-san...i think c-chuuya-san has it worse than me”

“...okay..?”

BACK TO CHUUYA

he’s still frozen poor baby

but it’s okay bc after like 5 more seconds he’s chasing you down the hallway you were walking in

kouyou, with a knowing smile on her face, ushers everyone away towards the opposite direction

she received some whines (ahem, tachihara and mori) but silenced them by summoning golden demon

but it’s okay

if they run fast enough, they can see what happens through the security cameras

chuuya caught up with you and tried to explain everything but he was exhausted

emotionally, physically (bc since when did you walk that fast??), and generally just tired with the whole situation

he just wanted to call you his; was that too much to ask??

as explosive as he can be, he can be calm and collected too

and he really did try to be that way as he talked with you but it was very difficult at the moment

the dumbfounded and confused look on your face his face twitch with annoyance and his heart started beating faster bc god you were cute

BUT THATS BESIDES THE POINT RIGHT NOW

thank goodness after what seemed like years, you finally somewhat understood what happened

you didn’t understand completely but it was something

The two of you stood in the middle of the unusually empty hallway facing each other, you with the bouquet still in hand. It was quiet as you and Chuuya assessed the situation.

You looked at him skeptically and he stared right back you with his gorgeous blue eyes.

“...So you do like me Chuuya-san??”

“Yes”

“And you were trying to court me just now, not friend zone me??”

“Yes”

You got most of your questions out of the way, but there was something that you’ve been wondering about for quite a while.

“...So you’re not gay for Dazai-san??”

“Yes, im not wait—GAY FOR DAZAI?? THAT MACKEREL??”

Chuuya did a double take. What in heavens name made it seem like he liked that suicidal maniac?? Why would he choose him if he had you?

Like he would choose him anyways; or ever consider him as a possible romantic partner.

“Oh, so you are?”

“NO! I SAID I LIKED YOU DIDN’T I?”

“Well yeah, but I thought you liked Dazai-san too. As annoying as he is, he can be quite charming—”

He was out of patience at this point (nope definitely not because you were talking about Dazai who told you that?) and just decided to kiss you.

You immediately melted into the kiss and kissed him back with the same amount of love and feeling.

Letting the bouquet fall to the ground, you wrapped you arms around his neck and his put his on your lower back and brought you closer to him. After a few more moments, the two of you broke apart for air.

The two of you, slightly out of breath, leaned your foreheads against each other and just basked in each others presence.

Chuuya looked into your (e/c) eyes and asked you just a little bit above a whisper, “Now do you get my intentions and feeling?”

You blinked at him before breaking out into a grin, “Hmm I’m not sure; do you wanna do that again Chuuya?”

The red head only blinked back at you before rolling his eyes, a smile present on his handsome features, his heart fluttering at you using his name with the honorific.

“Dumbass”

Smiling cheekily at him, you pressed a kiss on his cheek and started dragging him towards the lobby to take a walk around the building perimeter, knowing that the two of you can’t be too far from work.

The way down to the lobby was mostly in comfortable silence until you said something that made Chuuya want to bash his head against the wall.

“You know, you could’ve just told me you liked me Chuuya. It’s not like I would’ve said no.”

Once again, as the rest of the more power mafia members watch from security cameras, it is hard to tell whether Tachihara is crying or wheezing of laughter.

omake !!

The two of you just started making your way around the building when suddenly a very familiar voice came from Chuuya’s prized hat.

“Chuuyaaaa!! It was about time you stopped being a chicken, Chibi!”

Removing his hat from his head, he started yelling at it not knowing exactly where the listening device was planted.

“TEME! HOW DID YOU—”

“And (y/n)! I would congratulate you, but I think I would rather offer you my condolences. Why him?! He’s just a slimy slug. OOH OOH how would you like to join me in a double suicide?! A shame it won’t be a lover’s suicide but it’ll annoy Chuuya so I think it’ll be worth it! ”

“YOU—”

“And please don’t kiss while I’m listening in. You made me lose my appetite! And it was such a shame! I was eating crab using Kunikida-kun’s money! Do you know what you’ve cost me?!”

“DAZAI YOU PIECE OF—”

“Ah! Kunikida-kun is here! I have to go!”

You can hear something is the background that vaguely sounds like, “DAZAI YOU WASTE OF BANDAGES STOP USING MY MONEY”

“DAZAI DON’T YOU DARE LEAVE IM NOT DONE WITH—”

*Click!*

The click sound from the hat revealed that Dazai disconnected.

Chuuya twitched and glared furiously at his signature hat hating that the voice he hated the most came out of it.

“Aww, I didn’t get to talk to Dazai-san”

Chuuya whipped his head towards you, a look of mock (or real) betrayal showing on his features.

You laughed at him before taking the hat out of his hands and placing it on his head.

He shyly looked away before muttering a thanks making you smile wider. Just as the two of you were about to start walking, a small explosion erupted from his hat; it was likely that Dazai made the listening device self destruct.

“DAZAI YOU BASTARDD”

At the Armed Detective Agency, a certain suicidal maniac hid from the wrath of his current partner as he thought about the wrath his old one.

“Hmmm I wonder if Chuuya would finally stop wearing his ugly hats if I blow all of them up...”

as always, reblogs and shares are appreciated! i hope you all stay safe! and just in case nobody told you they loved you today, i love you! you are enough! <3

writing belongs to me! please do not plagiarize! the reblog button is there for a reason

490 notes · View notes

limetameta · 2 years

Text

Ok but since its MC canon that kimblee returned the ph stone and then THREATENED THE SHIT out of his commanding officers I finally thought more about it

And have come to the conclusion that this happened around the same time as Roy and Riza did some unsafe fire play wink wink nudge nudge

So. Get this.

Kimblee's in the medical tent. Dr Marcoh is nowhere to be found. Dr Knox is the only one on duty. It's the end of the war they tell him, you won't have anymore medical interventions that need pain killers and anaesthetics. Just knock Kimblee out with some drugs because he's dangerous rn.

What if someone comes in that needs my medical resources more? If you want to knock kimblee out just do it mechanically.

Brain damage, they cite as the reason they can't can't that. Looking a bit oddly at the resident doctor.

It'll do him some good, Dr Knox replies.

But OK. He drugs Kimblee. Who's in those famous shackles that keep his arrays away. He's kinda like an angry chihuahua. But Dr knox isn't deterred.

Now Dr knox has no drugs left. These were his last resources. But get this. It's literally one day before they all go back home. Who the FUCK is going to get injured or maimed NOW? WHAT KIND OF DUMBASS DO YOU HAVE TO BE-

Enter Riza Hawkeye. And Roy Mustang. Who looks more ill than she does and she has burns on her back.

Dr Knox figures it out. They say some stupid shit like Heater explosion. Gas leak? One of those war type thingies that could go boom. Insert half assed explanation here. But Dr knox?? He wasn't born FUCKING YESTERDAY. HE recognises a sex thing when he sees one. And the way Mustang is utterly mortified and horrified with his actions definitely means he was involved.

(this kids is what we like to call dramatic irony at its finest moment, poor roy's never even seen riza's titties let alone had the magnificent pleasure of her company in bed)

Can you give her some drugs please, Mustang is pleading. Riza is delirious with pain. She's one more wince away from falling unconscious from the pain, actually.

Kimblee is so out of it that he hasn't even noticed they're there. Dr Knox just points at him and says that he used his last drugs to knock him out.

Mustang is so done at that point. He tries to needle Dr knox to give Riza some under the table stuff you know wink wink something he hid for himself.

Is that Roy Mustang??? Kimblee is like :D Roy Mustang, I know your voice!! My civil rights are being breached!! Roy Mustang!

Roy just sighs. Riza is in pain. This nutcase is drugged out of his right mind. Yeah Kimblee?

And then this following scene remains in his memory forever. Kimblee is trying and failing to sit up. He gives up on that. Then tries to swing his feet out of the bed but doesn't realise he's been tied to the bed so it's a struggle. It's like a beached whale trying to get back in the water. It's not working. Roy pities him. He goes over to him. Yeah Kimblee? He repeats.

Kimblee just winks at him ;)

It's not even a flirtatious wink. Kimblee's trying to make it flirtatious, that's obvious. But it more comes across as something getting in his eye. Or a spasmic twitch that he can't control because he winks multiple times and switches an eye. Then closes one. Then closes both. Mustang's just staring. He's speechless.

And then Kimblee begins giggling. It's not like a cackle or a loud laugh. It's when you want to start telling a joke but can't because u find it too funny to properly start.

So he manages to wheeze out ;) Hey good looking *insert pause for laughter and wheezes and some kicks because he's still trying and failing to get free* What's - *voiceless laugh* what's coo - what's

Roy Mustang is just horrified, standing there over this mess of a man, thinking about Riza and how he shouldn't have tried dissuading her so much from going through with this because if they'd done it earlier she might have been able to get some drugs

Hey good looking, what's cooking? - Kimblee ;))

Nothing, Kimblee, just get some rest man. - Roy :/ Mustang

Dr Knox is like trying to guerrilla salvage the situation with Riza. Kimblee is DESPERATELY trying to get Mustang's attention. Mustang's absolutely devastated with himself and how now due to his actions Riza is in unbearable agony. Commanding officers are dragging Mustang away to interrogate him about this situation because it's SUSPICIOUS.

(WHAT IS WRONG WITH OUR HUMAN WEAPONS???? HAVE THEY ALL BECOME LOOSE CANONS???

Perhaps it's because we've dehumanised them that they've decided to unionise and cause havoc????? Should we investigate this behaviour??

Maybe it's just shell shock????

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS, BUT IT HAD BETTER STOP WE CAN'T LOSE TWO OF OUR BIGGEST HITTERS IN ONE DAY - LET'S JUST FORGET TODAY EVER HAPPENED. Maybe tomorrow after they've had some rest both Kimblee and Mustang will calm down.

OK. TOTALLY COOL BY MY STANDARDS)

Riza's unconscious. Perhaps it's for the best.

#metallic crimson

7 notes · View notes

lxstfulbeans · 4 years

Note

*Busts in with a plastic bag of crack* You want some crack, kids? I’ll give it to ya! 🥸 So Y/N forgot where she placed her phone at and her crush decides to call her phone to help hear the ringtone so she can find it better. However, Y/N forgot that she uses funny ass ringtones for said crush and even has funny contact pics/names for them in her phone. Said songs are “Something about you girl” by Ice JJ Fish, “Wap” but with Carl Wheezer’s voice, “Interior Crocodile Alligator”, and the NFL theme song. I would love to see head cannons of this for Hawks, Dabi, Aizawa and Bakugo.

“Something about you girl” - Hawks. He’s saved as “KFC” and his contact pic is of him making the light skin face that sent y/n to orbit (he thought she deleted it cuz it’s cringy)

“Wap” - Dabi. He’s saved as “Patchy the Pirate” and his pic is a blurred image of him chasing Y/N.

“Interior crocodile alligator” - Aizawa. He’s saved as “Dad of 20” and his pic is of him laying face first in his sleeping bag

“NFL Theme song” - Bakugo. He’s “Boom Boom Pomeranian” and his pic is of a Pomeranian with his hair photoshopped on it.

I know they’ll give some funny reactions! They’ll look at sis confused and she’ll just go “See about that...” and book it when she takes her phone. This idea had me busting my pancreas 💀💀💀

Bruh I- 💀 I’m literally hearin these damn audios as I’m reading this ask, I’m rolling. This is the best 😂

— 3. 2. 1. ACTION!! —

HEADCANON: Y/N loses her phone and forgets that she saved crack-fuelled pictures and ringtones assigned to her crush.

KEIGO TAKAMI [HAWKS]:

You were losing your fucking mind at this point.

Where the fuck could you have misplaced your cellphone?? You had to meet your homegirls at the club for girls night, PRONTO!!

Keigo raised a brow as he walked in on you basically tearing apart your living room for your phone, almost crying from frustration. “Whoa, kid. Ya lose something?” He had the nerve to ask when it was clearly the case.

Sure, there was a whole lotta things to love about this bird-man, but that smartass attitude was gonna get slapped outta him.

“dId yOu lOsE sOmeThInG- YES FOOL MY DAYUM PHONE!!” You huff, throwing another couch cushion on the floor before you fell to the floor in exhaustion. “I got to meet the girls for girls night in twenty minutes, and I can’t find my phone!” You briefly explain.

You heard him chuckle, pulling out his own phone. “Okay, okay, calm down, kid. It ain’t the end of the world, y’know. I’ll just call it and we’ll listen out for the ringtone.” He says, scrolling for a bit before finding your contact, pressing the call button and..

That’s when y’all heard it.

“THERE’S SOMETHIN’ ABOUTCHA GURLL! THAT JUST MAKES MY HEAD WANNA TWIRL!!”

Your ringtone went off under the couch, making Keigo look at you with the most confused face ever, his wings puffing up as he looked at you, yet you couldn’t stop laughing as he used one of his feathers to drag the phone from under the couch.

“What the hell, kid?? I though you deleted this cringey ass selfie!” He whined, looking at the contact photo of him making that dumbass lightskin face that had you howling the other day. “And what the hell is this ringtone?? AND YOU SAVED ME AS KFC??”

“BRUH I CAN’T BREATHE SHUT UPP—“ You screech as you curl up, tears pricking your eyes as you roll on the floor. Keigo couldn’t help but snicker, rolling his eyes at you as he got you off the floor, “Okay, you got some explaining to do.”

“Well, you see, what had happened was-“ You begin, trying to hold back your laughter before snatching your phone and purse, running out of the door. “I’ll see you later, KFC!! I’m running late!”

DABI:

“Aw, damn! Where in the entire hell did I put my phone??” You groaned.

Of course, this wasn’t the first time you lost your phone and you swore it would’ve been the last. But, you were so caught up on multitasking with so much shit you wanted to get out of the way, you completely forgot about your phone.

You sighed as you now have to tear apart the lounge that you JUST straightened up, making this much worse than it had to be.

“Hey, little mouse. What’s with all the whining and hollering for?”

“I can’t find my phone, I’ve been all up in y’all raggedy-ass lair lookin’ for my shit so I can bounce!” You say with an eye roll as you placed your hands on your hips, clearly not in the mood for the bullshit right now.

“Okay, calm down. It’s just a phone, I can just call it and you can listen out for the ringtone.” He said with a sigh as he brought out his phone, dialing your number and waiting for the tone to play. The two of you went from room to room, getting more anxious everytime the phone went to voicemail. You were visibly going to cry, there was no way that you could’ve left your phone anywhere that WASN’T in the LOV Lair.

“I swear, if you start crying, I won’t let you live it down.” You hear Dabi mumble to you as you both entered the last room, dialing your number one last time until...

“NYEOW FROM THE TOP, MAKE IT DROP, THAT’S A WHAP. BRING A BUCKET AND A MOP, THAT’S WHAP”

Your phone was jamming out on a chair, Dabi looking at you like you just committed a grave sin while the ringtone played. The longer he stared at you, wanting an explanation, you can’t help but burst into laughter as you crawl to your phone, and let the tone finish.

You just hoped that your crush was still going to hang out with you after this crackhead mishap.

“MACARONI IN A POT, THAT’S A WHAP. JIMMYY”

Dabi was literally at a loss for words, (lookin’ a lil like confused bakugou rn 👀) as you wheezed in laughter. “[Y/N]... what in the fuck was that?” He asked, you can tell he was serious from how low and menacing your name was said. You were either about to run for your life or die laughing.

“And why the fuck is my name, “Patchy The Pirate”? And what the hell is this photo?” He asked again. Man, was it getting hot in there or was it just you?

“Well, you see here, uh- MOINK!” You shout, howling in laughter as you were chased around the building. Kurogiri shaking his head in disappointment.

SHŌTA AIZAWA (DADDY. ERASERHEAD):

“Oh no.”

“Oh, no...”

“Oh, no no no no no..”

This cannot be happening, this CANNOT be happening right now. Lord have mercy, please let today not be the day.

“Goddamn it, where’s my phone?!”

Yep, your phone. Your new phone that Shōta got for your birthday, who you also had a huge crush on but would never tell that to ANYONE. You promised yourself that you wouldn’t lose this phone, it was definitely the most precious thing ever.

“Fuuuuck!” You whined, already on the verge of panicking while your tore apart your room for that birthday gift. “Hey, what’s all this racket for? I’m trying to sleep.” said your friend, roommate, and crush, Shōta.

“I-I’m just lookin’ for somethin’, Shō! Sorry for all this noise..” you mumbled an apology as you continued your search, swinging your arm around underneath the bed.

“You lost your phone, didn’t you, [Y/N]?”

DAMN, he catches on quick for somebody who sleeps 25/8. Maybe it’s because you don’t really have trouble looking for stuff unless it’s something really important to you.

You sighed, the embarrassment and disappointment washing over you as you laid in defeat on the floor. “Yeah.. I can’t find it..” you mumbled.

The older man sighed, cracking his neck as he got out his phone. “Okay, just calm down. I’ll call it and we’ll just listen out for your ringtone, okay? If we can’t hear it, we’ll track it.”

God, why was he so hot when he took responsibility? You couldn’t help but sit up and nod at his words as he scrolled through his contacts until he found your name, confirming the call until..

“INTERIOR CROCODILE ALLIGATOR. I DRIVE A CHEVROLET MOVIE THEATER.”

Your phone blasted the same line over and over, as hard as you tried to contain it, you couldn’t help but screech in laughter when you looked up to see Shōta’s disturbed, confused, and concerned face as he picked up your phone from underneath your dresser.

“”Dad of 20”?? What the hell type of name is that?” He asked, the iconic sleeping bag worm as his contact photo. The joke behind it was the fact that he was a whole teacher at U.A. You always thought it was cute that he was basically a father figure to those future heroes.

Plus, you wouldn’t stop joking about them being his, “lil chilrens”.

“Aight, aight. I wanna thank you for finding my phone, I promise not to lose it again!” You quickly say, trying to creep out of the room until you were confined with his capture weapon.

“I’m not done with you yet.”

Fuck..

KATSUKI BAKUGOU:

“Hey, dumbass! Hurry up, or we’ll miss the movie!”

Damn, damn, damn!! You can’t believe you just lost your phone right now, you could’ve sworn you left it on your bed before you started fixing your hair in the bathroom.

“Shit, shit! Bakugou, can you help me find my phone real quick? Pretty please?” You call out to him, really anxious because you were really looking forward to this movie and you could not miss a second of it!

“Ugh, are you serious?? What did I tell you about keeping up with your shit!” He groaned, getting out his phone as he dialed your number and listened to the trill.

“I know, I know! I promise I’ll be more careful!” You say as you listened out for it, only to pull aside your blankets to see your vibrating phone with the ringtone on blast.

Oh yes, the NFL Theme. What made you lose your shit was Bakugou’s flabbergasted facial expression as he looked down at your contact photo and nickname for him.

You couldn’t help but cackle as you saw a vein pop out, popping hands reaching out for you. “Hey! What the fuck is this shit?? Imma show you a pomeranian!” He shouted.

“Katsu! Katsu! Relaaaxx!! You know you’re my bestie and I love you, but we got a movie to catch so let’s do this later fam.” You snicker, trying to calm yourself down as you yoinked your phone and took off out the door with your purse.

“OH, JUST WAIT UNTIL WE GET BACK HOME!”

— END SCENE —

Sorry that Bakugou’s was kinda short! But, hope you enjoyed these!

#poc writers #bakugou x black reader #aizawa headcanons #bakugou headcanons #hawks headcanons #dabi headcanons #bnha x poc!reader #poc reader

241 notes · View notes

ceciliablossoms · 3 years

Note

Oooh for the event, butter tea with Kaeya? I'm craving some angst rn lol

Butter Tea: "I'm not going to leave you like this!"

TW: Mentions of blood and injury, slight angst to Fluff.

I apologise if this isn't angsty enough. I don't really pay attention to Kaeya so this is probably OOC

-------

Laughter filled the air, the Abyss Mages the two were in combat with cackling with every failure to dodge and block. There were so many of them that the duo was easily overwhelmed within no time at all. It was like cutting off the heads of Hydra, for every, they slew more would appear.

It had started as a simple commission. A small group of adventurers were injured by a "couple" of Abyss Mages while out and about on an expedition. The instructions were simple, to slay the offending monsters. However, it was more of a threat than originally thought.

When they had been asked by Katherine to handle it they had asked Kaeya to come along "just in case". He was smug about it, of course, using the opportunity to flirt along the way. It was supposed to be an easy and done commission then after the two agreed to lunch at Good Hunter. Neither of them had expected it to pan out this way.

As they arrived at the designated location, they were greeted with the two offending mages, one Hydro and one Cryo. Kaeya took the Hydro mage as his vision was suitable and they took the Cryo abyss mage.

The mages were swiftly dealt with and both they and Kaeya were patting each other on the back when two more appeared. These two mages were both Pyro. Kaeya's gaze hardened back into one of seriousness and they two made a move to dispatch the newcomers. But two Abyss Mages soon grew into four, four grew into seven and so on. Soon the two were completely and utterly overwhelmed.

They were certain that they had hypothermia with the number of times they had been frozen and they glanced over at Kaeya as he dealt with 3 Pyro Abyss Mages at once, around his waist circled three large icicles. Some of his clothes were singed but he held his ground well.

There was no end in sight. Eventually, the two ended up fighting back to back with one another. They had chunks of ice on their skin and blood dripped from the side of their head. A large burn was singed into their left forearm. Kaeya was fairing no better, sporting more burns than them both from straight fire and the boiling water of Vapourize reactions. He also sported a shoulder injury from an icicle that was sharp enough to pierce his flesh.

His face was hard set in a scowl as he struck another one down, "One of us needs to go get back up."

"Now is not the time to be a martyr, Kaeya!"

His normal laid back attitude was gone, replaced with a much more serious one. His tone seemed angry, "We are unequipped to deal with this many!"

"I'm not going to leave you like this! If we can't deal with it together, what makes you think you can deal with it alone?!"

"We don't have a choice! Go get some fucking backup! NOW!"

They flinched and with a glare, they sprinted toward the city, dodging fire and ice to the best of their abilities. As they got closer they began calling for the knights. Both Swan and Lawrence perked up at the sound of their voice. When the two saw the state they were in the Knights immediately sprung into action as soon as they explained, Swan checking to see if they were ok and Lawrence running to the headquarters to get more of the Knights.

With haste, they set out with several of the Knights in tow. When they came back most of the Abyss Mages were gone but Kaeya was still surrounded, supporting his weight on his sword but not giving up. He was bleeding

They rushed to him and when they blocked a blow with their sword, his legs finally gave out. They caught him, his blood seeping through his clothes soaking theirs. He tried to get back up but couldn't.

"You're going to get yourself killed." They supported his full weight on their shoulder. The Knights began to take on the remaining Mages as they got him away as fast as possible, setting him in the grass.

He said nothing, briefly losing consciousness. Their panic set in as they put their hands on his cheeks, calling out softly. They teared up he didn't respond. They placed their head on his chest, listening for a heartbeat as he lie motionless. They sighed in relief when his eyes cracked open as he woke back up.

"I warned you, you fucking dumbass." Their voice cracked. Using shreds of their jacket to staunch his bleeding in certain places, they gently slapped his face to prevent him from closing his tired eyes again, "Stay awake." Their voice shook and they noticed his breathing was shallow.

They as they began to field dress his injuries, making sure there were no rocks or chunks of ice in them. Most of them had been cauterized from the Pyro. "I'm sorry for dragging you into this."

"And you do this alone? Getting hurt worse than this?" He chuckled painfully, a slight slur to his words, attitude seemingly back to normal. "I don't think so (Princey/Princess)"

They said nothing until they finished their dressing, guilt obvious in their eyes. They felt horrible. If they hadn't dragged him into this to begin with he wouldn't have gotten hurt.

"Stay here." They muttered guilt turning into anger

They got up and joined the Knights in combat until the last Mage fell. The Knights were, for the most part, okay them taking the brunt of the damage so the boys wouldn't have to.

They limped back over to Kaeya, who was exactly where they left him, the Knights hot on their heels, insisting they stop straining their body. They gave him a worried once over as more Knights began to show up with medical supplies and a few of the sisters from the Church, Barbara included. She was tending to his wounds in alarm. He certainly looked better and was more alert.

They plopped down next to him, ignoring Barbara's gasp of horror, worry across their face, "Are you ok now?

His face grew smug at their concern, slinging an arm over their shoulder much to Barbara's dismay "Of course I am."

They chuckled before looking up st him, "We still on for Good Hunter?"

#mine #anon #drabble #100+ followers event #kaeya alberich #genshin kaeya #kaeya x reader #kaeya #genshin impact x reader #genshin impact #genshin x reader #gi x reader #tw mentions of injury #tw mentions of blood #slight angst

100 notes · View notes

it9chi · 4 years

Note

Hiii I don’t know if your taking request and if your not it’s fine you can totally ignore this lol :P but if you are can you do the trend of the pretty best friends with maybe Akaashi, Bokuto, and kuroo 🙈 by the way I loved the way you write the characters

how they blind react to the audio “i ain’t never seen two pretty best friends, always one of them gotta be ugly” from tiktok + find the first part here

kuroo:

man doing this to kuroo would be so funny

cs we know he lowkey prideful

so this would “”potentially”” hurt his ego

at least when it comes to you

cs this bitch hates losing to you no matter what

like he’s not like this to kenma usually

and u tell him its bc kenma is his favorite bestie

then he’s all like: noo ahaha who said i like kenma more than u? ahah who sed that cut the cameras

then proceeds to baby and pamper kenma right in front u

smh kuroo we were friends first

ANYWAY SO

just like oikawa, he likes inviting himself to your tiktoks, selfies, etc u know the drill

so roping him in your tiktok would be easy breezy

you set up ur camera and pretend you were getting ready to dance to that fishing pole reel it in tiktok

(also prior to this u told him abt wanting to do that tiktok w him)

and just like you predicted it, kuroo is now magically next to you smirking and shit at the camera

pulling a debby ryan yes king pop off

then the audio plays: “i aint never seen two pretty best friends. always one of them gotta be ugly”

KUROO NEVER LOOKED SO OFFENDED IN HIS LIFE

kuroo goes :O like you did something so scandalous in front of him

even if the camera didnt hear his voice, its still kinda obvious that he said “chibi chan~”

now its ur turn to gasp

mf smirks at your reaction and picks you up like a sack of potatoes and throws you over his shoulder

all of that caught in camera

and right when he was gonna throw you on the bed the camera stops recording

y’all blow up overnight ;)))

the comments: “they gotta be more than friends!!”

“sis i’ll be his best friend if u don’t want to be his bestie anymore”

kodzuken: so y’all a thing now or-

bonus: what actually happened is kuroo tickled u and showed no mercy nor remorse </33

bokuto:

ahh yes bokuto

bokuto beam besties !!!!!

ft. a very very tired akaashi

you pull this shit to mess with the team

perks being the other fukurodani manager

(this is why konoha lowkey hates u but its okay queen u lowkey hate him too (as a joke))

ANYWAYS

so managers have to settle things right before practice starts right

after helping yukie and kaori, y’all had extra time

this is when u call bokuto in

“bokuto lets film a tiktok real quick!” you call out to ur bestie who was with akaashi and konoha

bokuto immediately dips on them and runs to you

“what are we dancing to today?”

we know this bitch can dance lets not lie to ourselves rn

u tell him u want to do that hit the quan remix trend on tiktok and he agrees

mf even knows the step already so uh anywayz

this is the part where brokuto gets bamboozled

you click record and bokuto starts rubbing his hands together like hes about to throw that ass back and start dancing religiously

til the audio plays

“i aint never seen two pretty best friends always one of them gotta be ugly”

so that played throughout the gym

konoha and akaashi stop talking and turned their attention to you and bokuto

the realization settles in and bokuto frowns

and everyone in the gym thinks his emo mode is about to work up and they’re all about to run to him

before bokuto lets out a big cackle

“you’re so funny sometimes, y/n” bokuto wipes a tear from his eyes from laughing so much

bokuto suddenly goes quiet til mf starts chasing you around the gym

“BOKUTO IM SORRY” you screeched as you ran for your life

“nOPE! IF I CATCH YOU IT MEANS YOURE THE UGLY BEST FRIEND” he retorts, catching up on you

in the end the video caught u guys running around the gym

konoha took this as a chance to repost your video with the caption “what a dumbass”

akaashi:

akaashi and this tiktok huh.....

do u know who u’re doing this to ??????

like akaashi???

akaashi keiji ?????????????????????????????????

this audio and akaashi just dont get along at all... like ... UGLY???

all in all im p sure this thing would backfire

and im not even joking luv xoxo

ANYWAY SO

you do this at home bc ... u dont want to embarauz urself doing this at school cs what if someone saw u calling THE akaashi ugly

so yeah u have this thing w akaashi where y’all just chill at ur respective homes for no reason at all

#bestietingz

and since akaashi is a genuinely nice guy and is a rlly rlly close friend of urs, he wont say no to ur vague requests <3

“keiji let’s do a tiktok together” you shake his arm as the mf reads a fucking book

“hmm okay” he hums, putting the book down

not forgetting to bookmark the page ! bookmark king ! knows his shit ok im getting sidetracked

you set ur phone down and angle it right

akaashi just does the bread face :] respecting ur viewers!

even if ur viewers r just the fukorodani team at best... maybe even some nekoma students bUT THATS NOT THE POINT HERE

ur trying so hard not to laugh and its so painfully obvious ur hiding something like akaashi is alr dreading cs he doesnt know what ur planning

so u press record and the audio rolls in

“i aint never seen two pretty best friends, always one of them gotta be ugly”

it turns to an awkward silence after that

cs akaashi didnt rlly know how to react

like he knows this shit is corny and just..... he cant even describe it oh god

and ur like looking at him for a reaction

hes just there like: :] ......

LIKE YOU TWO R ALREADY MAKING EYE CONTACT

AND UR LIKE COVERING UR MOUTH TRYING NOT TO LAUGH UR LIKE

“DO U GET IT??”

and akaashi is like: “yes i do :]”

AND UR LIKE: THEN WHATS UP WITH THIS REACTION

then he’s all like: “nothing. i know you’re not ugly and u shouldn’t let that meme define who you are because you are beautiful”

like a mf poet making ur heart melt

u put a closed caption thingie mabober before u post it cs u wanted to let ppl know who or how tf ur bestie acts and damn right hes right !!! ur not ugly neither is he !!!

the comments when u posted it are all asking for his contact information and the just like

“SIS I WANT HIM”

“WHATS HIS @??”

even bokuto commented like: THATS MY AKAASHI RIGHT THERE !!!!

and kuroo responds with: u cant win over him bro

and then bokuto replies again with: DUDE

#reqs #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu imagines #haikyuu headcanons #kuroo x reader #kuroo imagines #kuroo headcanons #bokuto x reader #bokuto imagines #akaashi x reader #akaashi imagines #akaashi headcanons #bokuto headcanons #ans

361 notes · View notes

gnar-slabdash · 3 years

Text

a=4.09

- lmao i love the ones that start with referencing a job we don’t get to see what a good gimmick

- oh yep there it is it’s the convention center again! every time they’re pretending to be in an airport it’s actually the convention center. i’ve been to so many cons there lol.

- god it’s fucking hilarious to look at the convention center, i’ve been there in fucking costume lmao. dammit what would be extra funny is if i’d been in costume there AS NATE but i only ever did that in seattle not at any of the portland cons. I’m so mad I lost those pictures gfdi

- lol look my dog is passed the fuck out

-”I don’t suppose you travel with handcuffs” “Nope not on this trip” LOLLLLLL nice callback to the handcuffs/whip moment in that other episode.

- FANSERVICE FTW

- Awwwww the bit where eliot uses star trek references is cute af

- OKAY LEMME ADDRESS THIS, cause I am the person who obvs needs to address this. I have seen peeps list the FtM joke in this ep as one of the times that Leverage fucked up. And I get why they see it that way but guess fucking what? I’m a trans man and I’m here to tell you that this reads to me like Exactly the way a legit, non-offensive trans joke should read. “Oh shit I have to pretend to be an FtM and make it feel like YOUR problem for misgendering me?” Fuck yeah that’s how a joke should actually work. I’m a hundred percent for this joke. From my pov it WORKS.

-ooooookay and now here’s my least favorite fucking line. “we don’t like it when you drink but we trust you when you do.” what the fuck is that supposed to mean???? it doesn’t fucking mesh with anything else in the season or the show.awfjkl;fdsaj dislike. look none of the pathos about sam makes “you should have a drink” make any more fucking sense okay? it just doesn’t.

- Lol leverage airlines 1701

- “I want him to know my name” lmaooooo

- God my neighbors can probably hear me fucking cackling WHOOPS

- lol the CincinatiMetropolitan Area that’s some bullshit ur at the Oregon Convention Center dumbasses :P

- God I wish I had the money for my Leverage Tatt.

- Hey anybody out there watched enough of How To Get Away With Murder to tell me whether it’s worth watching all the seasons up to when FuckFace McGee joins the cast? Srsly will I actually enjoy the first three seasons? Should I watch it?

- Oh FUCK i hope my neighbors are too sober to know what I’m drinking rn.

- i can’t believe my wife just knew exactly when and why to call me. WHOOOPS.

- Episode 4.09 Neighbors. U wanna know what;s up? that;s the episode u turn to. Jesus jfucking christ is my life so in tune that ep. 409 is where i should tune to?

- sorry this got a little bit tioo fucking real.

#leverage #nate ford

24 notes · View notes