#cant wait for peter to destroy this one too

[sha-n-dowbannedlol]

Miguel O'Hara — Please Don't Say You Love Me

cw: i cant stop thinking about him, so i wrote a one shot. but i also have a love-hate relationship with him, so i made it angsty.

Miguel O'Hara.

There isn't anyone in the Spider Society who hasn't heard of him: The Big Boss. He's strict, overworked, reserved, and has a bit of a temper—not that anyone would ever say that to his face.

However, to the select few who were close to him, they knew something more about Miguel O'Hara that they could never tell anyone else.

Miguel O'Hara, Spider-Man of Earth-928B, is hopelessly in love with you.

And that alone is bad enough for Miguel. But would you like to know something even worse?

He knows you're in love with him too.

He was the first to fall, that much he knew, and he was okay with that. He simply admired you from afar, enduring the teasing glances and knowing smirks Jess and Ben would throw his way, and the unbearable teasing from Lyla and Peter B.

Slowly but surely, however, he started to notice the way your eyes would shine brightly every time you caught a glimpse of him. The way you started to have a pep in your step when you made your way to report to him. His enhanced hearing could even pick up the way your breath hitched in your throat or the way your heart skipped a beat.

Miguel then realized he had to put a stop to this......whatever might possibly develop.

From then on, he avoided you like a plague—which wasn't all that hard, but it led him to confine himself to his office more than he already did. Every communication he had with you remained professional, and he merely answered your inquiries with short quips, ending the conversation sooner than it had begun.

He was harsher with you than he was with others, overworked you. He did everything in his power to push you away from him, to make you lose interest in him, to hate him.

That didn't work, however. That much he figured out when he overheard your conversation with another Peter Parker, who pointed out his attitude towards you.

He forgot that you were a spider person; the epitome of hope, plenty stubborn, and more positive than he would have liked you to be.

"That just means he sees more potential in me and trusts in my abilities greatly, doesn't it?" You responded then, and even if Miguel couldn't see you, he could almost imagine the smile on your face.

Miguel walked away before he could even think of falling for you even more.

Both of you were never supposed to meet, never supposed to fall in love.

He reminded himself, his fists clenched, as he made his way down the halls of the Spider Society—the society that he had built himself to save the multiverse.

That's right. To save the multiverse, not to destroy it.

"But wouldn't you at least like to try?" The man was swift to put his hand up and wave Lyla away.

"No," Miguel's response was final, his brows scrunching together in annoyance, ignoring the ache in his chest.

Interweave enough universes, versions of himself fall in love with enough versions of yourself, and he might end up being the cause of the universal collapse instead of maintaining it.

His decision was final. His resolve was absolute.

Yet, he found his breath hitching in his throat when he saw you approach him, your determined gaze boring through his, your clenched fists at your sides, and he could hear your elevated heartbeat—one that he could clearly deduce was due to nervousness.

"Miguel," you called out, and he could hear the shakiness in your voice, "There's something I need to tell you."

Just like that, he already knew why you were here.

And he can't. He can't let you say those words. He already knew how you feel towards him, but if he hears it coming from you........ if he hears you say that you love him.............

He stops the thought, not even wanting to think about it.

"I'm sorry," he wasn't sorry at all, "I'm busy. Can this wait for another time?"

He turned his back toward you, pretending to focus on the number of screens before him. His eyes scanned through the information being displayed by the soft orange light, but his brain couldn't process any of it.

"It won't be long, Miguel." You pleaded, and he winced to himself. "I just wanted to tell you that I-"

"Por favor," Miguel rasped out exasperatedly, turning his head to the side as he gazed at you from the corner of his eye, "no digas que me quieres."

You didn't understand his words, that much he knew. Still, the tone of his voice must have been enough for you to back down, and he caught a glimpse of you smiling helplessly as you shook your head.

"Alright..." you spoke, "Maybe next time, then."

Miguel merely turned his head to focus back on his work, maintaining his facade until he could no longer hear your retreating footsteps. Only then did he allow his shoulders to slump over, burying his face in his hands as he repeatedly muttered 'esto es para lo mejor' to himself like a mantra.

If he repeated it over and over again, maybe it would lessen the pain in his heart.

If he repeated it over and over again, maybe one day he'll be strong enough to hear those words from you and not pull you into his arms and press his lips to yours.

If he repeated it over and over again, maybe one day he'll muster enough courage to reject your love.

If he repeated it over and over again, then maybe he would eventually fully believe that this truly was for the best.

[ohitsmelaura]

i'm currently obsessed with ttpd and chronically obsessed with red queen, so here's a list of which songs i think fit which ship more and why i think they do marecal x mareven edition

obviously, spoilers

marecal:

fortnight feat. post malone (two people who are promised to another people but had a short affair and not touching each other now is ruining their lives exatcly exactly we heard that before)

down bad (you cant say mare wasn't in a "so fuck you if i can't have us" mood in war storm)

so long, london (change london for harbor bay and there you have it, king's cage epilogue)

but daddy i love him (but grandma i love her - cal's version)

fresh out the slammer (fresh out the slammer, i know who my first Cal will be to)

guilty as sin? (honestly, if you know the lyrics, you know i dont even have to explain)

loml (i wish i could unreCal how we almost had it all and "mr steal your girl then make her cry" too)

the alchemy (be serious, cal would play football irl)

the black dog (pubs usually remember me of marecal, and "old habits die screaming" says a lot about their on and off situationship in war storm)

the albatross (that's so Cal attracted to the danger she represented in red queen, then being destroyed for chasing her and then she was his lifeline in glass sword)

the prophecy (cal in the end of war storm like "i dont want the crown i just want my lightning girl 😞")

peter (not actually what happened, but the "wait for me" theme fits war storm's ending)

mareven:

my boy only breaks his favorite toys (bruh... are you really going to read this song title and tell me it’s not about mareven?)

who's afraid of little old me? (who's afraid of little old mare? MAVEN SHOULD BE)

i can fix him (no really i can) (she can't, no one can)

the smallest man who ever lived (he was sent by elara so yeah he was ACTUALLY sent by someone who wanted her dead)

chloe or sam or sophia or marcus (me and maven have a lot of things in common, one of them is sobbing to the sound of "If you want to break my cold, cold heart/Just say 'I love you the way that you were'")

how did it end? (i almost gave it to marecal bc of the dance mention, but i think mareven fits more bc 1- mare learned to dance with cal not with him and she preferred the lessons' song than the ball's song, so yeah mareven learned the right steps to different dances 2- while marecal have an on/off thing, mareven has a really slow but certain death)

[weebannihilator]

HIHI I'VE BEEN ADDICTED TO SPIDERVERSE SINCE I WATCHED IT

MY FAVORITE CHARACTER IS GWEN AND I WOULD DIE FOR HER WHAT ABOUT YOURS?????

also I love pav!!!

ME TOO. LETS SHARE A BRAIN CELL.

GWEN.... HOLY SHIT GWEN....!!! I've always liked her but after the first movie it just leaves you like "Who is she? What's she been through?" I was always thinking about how she was so insistent she doesnt do friends and how being around Peter B seemed to make her so sad in that one scene....

This movie gave her EVERYTHING she deserved! Anyone who called her boring before have been slain and utterly destroyed. She's such a fucking sad, realistic character from the isolation to her relationship with her dad and being trans. (<- Which I 100% consider canon imo<3)

My favorite is Miguel! My guilty pleasure is morally gray "I dont always like what I have to do" antagonists/ anti-heroes<3. He's a bit goofy with how sarcastic he is but the sheer fucking intimation radiating off the character is what really had me so sucked into this film. Because I genuinely cant decide who's side is right in the conflict... you want Miles to win because we're always rooting for him but past how scary powerful he is and harsh as an enemy for Miles to fight, you can see the logic and all the work Miguel's put into the spiderverse and maintaining it for everyone's sake... fuckk... I cant wait to see more of him and what direction they plan with the character. How far is he willing to go to stop Miles...? Definitely my favorite version of spiderman 2099 in any media so far.

[mayo-advance]

What Do You Know? Pt. 3

Discription: Y/n was in love with Pietro Maximoff. But he was gone now and all that remains is a miscast imposter and Y/n is going to do everything in their power to find closure.

A/n: Oh wow is that a plot I see finally emerging on the horizen? Peter is a little less ooc this part but still dont trust me too much. I think this will be about 6-7 Parts so strap in. (also I love this gif and i hope yalls do too)

Part 2 , Part 4

“Ok and how do we do that?”

Oh god. How do you do that? You had no assurance that Peter would be able to step foot outside the hex.

Before you were in the hex you were studying with Dr. Strange in the New York sanctum. You wanted to unlock new parts of your abilities. However your studies were interrupted by news of Wanda and the hex and when you heard that Pietro was somehow there, you couldnt stay away.

You arrived in New Jersey just a day ago, and entered the hex with much difficulty. You were walking through a flat area with many roads but no houses. You had no clue how you made it through, let alone how Wanda hadnt taken notice of you. Looking for signs of the town you had failed to notice a van driving up to you.

It was a very peculiar van, how could it not be when it had been stolen from the circus?

You didnt notice the van at first, but Darcy and Vision sure had noticed you. They almost ran you over and your powers kicked in causing you to vanish.

Long story short, they apologized for almost killing you. You reintroduced yourself to Vision and Darcy introduced herself to you. They explained how to you they got there

and told you the whole story about Visions attempt to escape the hex.

You recalled a very specific phrase from Darcy, “He was created here, so without the energy from the walls holding him together, he cant survive anywhere else.”

And now as you stood under a blood red sky with Peter Maximoff, you wondered if that would happen to him too.

“Well in order to get out of here, we need to get past the hex walls, which is far easier said than done.” You looked over at him and found him looking at you. It was that same curious look he had earlier.

You liked that curious look. It was soft, and warm. It was much different then Pietros eyes and you knew it was wrong to compare Peter and Pietro but you couldnt help yourself.

“What about helping glowy lady?” Oh shit you had forgotten about Monica.

Not wanting to abandon your current task, you prayed that shed forgive you for never showing up to help. “You should refer to her as Captain Rambeau, and I think she’ll understand my need to abandon her in favor of helping you.”

You swallowed thickly. Going through the hex could destroy him if hes lying about who he is.

“Anyways a friend of mine told me that going through the walls changes your cell structure. Its not entirely safe.”

Peter gave a cocky smile, breaking the tension and the grim mood, “Well we’re both mutants anyways, whats the worse that can happen?”

Wait what?

Mutants?

You didn’t have time to unpack all of that though, because as suddenly as it darkened, the sky cleared. And even worse, the hex started moving.

“Fuck” You tried to watch your language usually, old habits put into place by Steve Rogers, but you couldn’t help yourself.

If he was like Vision, then Peter wouldn’t last much longer.

You weren’t in the mood to watch another speedster Maximoff die. (Don’t tell y/n about Tommy Maximoff)

“Hey Pete, you said your aren’t from around here-“ You started

His eyebrows raised, his smile broadening, “Pete? So we’re on a nickname basis now?”

You paused, you hadn’t noticed yourself slip in the nickname. You werent one to become that comfortable with people so quickly.

The hex drew closer and you didn’t have time to think through everything.

You broke off from your previous thought, “Peter if you aren’t from around here, where are you from?”

“Would you count my mothers basement?” You could not tell if he was joking or not.

The hex was a few blocks away at this point. Damn it moved fast.

“What if I said that didn’t count?” you looked at him, you were getting worried, and you disappearing was the last thing you needed happening right now.

Peter’s smile fell ever so slightly, “Hey, whats got your panties in a twist?”

“Peter, where are you from?”

He paused for a second. He was getting concerned because you were concerned, “Im from New York state, okay? No need to scare yourself.”

The hex was almost on top of you, “Yeah well you better make it through that electromagnetic field in one piece, you hear me Maximoff?”

Before he could respond you were both consumed by the wall of red, the last thing you saw of Wandas perfect world was Peter.

———————

And just like that you were on the other side. Your immediate reaction was to reach out and make sure Peter was still in one piece, and lucky for you, he was.

“You see? Im fine. You had nothing to worry about.” Peter threw a smug grin at you.

You punched his shoulder, now smiling yourself, “Well yay you! Because now you own me an explination!” Sarcasm was practically dripping from your voice

The speedster furrowed his brows, “For what?”

“A lot of things.” You looked down the street that you two were still standing on, and the hex was gone. Shrunk to oblivion. “Well actually, before you pour your heart out to me, we need to find my car.” From what you remember of getting to this street, your car was across town.

You start walking, not checking to see if Peter was following.

He was following, walking next to you, “Well you ‘Agent Y/n’” He made air quotes with his fingers, “Still need to tell me what you know about other dimensions.”

You looked over at him, “Well I doubt that I have the information that you need but I know a guy who does.”

[peanut-in-the-goal]

Remus is in the dorm screaming and pulling on his own hair while he cries.

“I trusted you! I fucking trusted you!! And what I hate the most is that I still love you, you asshole!” 

After the prank, and James and Peter are forced to listen to their friends’ brother’s cries at night because he cant sleep peacefully without the comforting presence of Sirius by his side. And they have to do everything they can to keep him from accidently hurting himself from fury and rage.

they dont think he’s going to make it to the next moon. A blue moon, because the fates are against him and there were 2 that month

--

Sirius hasn’t been seen much since the prank. He doesn’t come by the tower much anymore, when he does it’s for a change of clothes. No one ever sees him. One day his trunk disappears from the end of his bed.

It was getting too hard to go back every so often and hear his friends laughter as he waited outside the door for them to go to sleep.

--

James is worried. He forgave Sirius ages ago, even when he knows he shouldn’t have. But the guilt is destroying Sirius, he can see it. But he cant do anything about it. He had to pick a side and he picked Remus.

As much as he loves the werewolf as his brother, he hates to admit that he cares more for sirius. So now he’s stuck with deciding if he should stab someone in the back to save another.

He knows why Sirius did it, and his reasoning. It was reckless and stupid and cruel, but now it made sense as to why. 

--

Sirius has been staring at the wall for the past hour. He thinks it’s been an hour, time doesn’t feel very real. There’s nothing to fill it, no friends, no laughter, no people.

He’s finished his homework by now, he’s had it done hours ago. Now he just stares at the wall as the clock keeps ticking on.

The only coherent thought that circulates in his head if I fucked up. He hates me and it’s my fault.

It’s not the first night that Sirius falls asleep with tear tracks on his face. It doesn’t matter, no one knows where to find him anyways.

--

They can’t find him, Sirius.

Remus has been looking. He knows he shouldn’t he knows he should hate shim. But he can’t. Not when he’s in love with the idiot. James has started to help too, both of them scanning every room that they enter.

But they can’t find that mop of black hair anywhere. He’s not in the dorm, the dining hall, or any classes. They’ve check the astronomy tower a thousand times over but he’s just gone.

The map has disappeared a long with him. Sirius obviously doesn’t want to be found.

--

The stars seem dimmer. They have been for a while now. James sits in the quidditch stands. It’s long after curfew, but sometimes he has to escape too.

it’s hard acting like everything is okay all the time for his friends when he’s crumbling inside. He hasn’t seen his best friend in weeks, going onto a month. They’ve never gone this long without talking, much less seeing each other. 

He just wants to make sure he’s okay, and not off dead in a ditch somewhere. He knows Sirius can dig himself into a ditch when he wants. He blames himself for everything, or blows things out of proportion.

A lot.

He’s worries, so beyond worried at this point. He isn’t sure if that worry lessens or increases when he sees a thing dog gallop across the quidditch pitch in the dark.

--

Sirius doesn’t sleep much at night anymore. He doesn’t sleep much in general, not unless he can’t help it. Unless he’s exhausted and will collapse if he doesn’t sleep now. 

Sometimes at night he turns into Padfoot and just runs. He’s always hoped since he was young that if he could run fast enough, that he’d be able to leave, and escape.

But he’s never had the heart to. Not since he’s met the rest of the Marauders. They were the first people he saw as family. Real family, people who loved him and wanted to be around him.

But he fucked that up. He lost them, and they never wanted to see him again.

He had to accept it.

Sirius grew up around people who didn’t want him. He thought his family were just ignorant prats, but it turns out that maybe, it was his fault. He really is an unlovable mutt.

--

James shot up onto his feet. But the dog was already lost into the forest. At least James knew he was alive, but it wasn’t enough. Something didn’t see right, the dog was too skinny. His ribcage didn’t use to stick out that much...

--

Remus paced his dorm. He had to find Sirius. He had to find him, he had to find him, he had to find him.

James told him about what he saw that night, about the skinny, sickly looking dog. He wouldn’t let Sirius ruin himself because of him. He loved him more than he wanted to admit.

He would find him.

--

Sirius collapsed just on the edge of the forbidden forest, by Hagrid's hut. He was chased by the centaurs, again. It gave him a a thrill that he couldn’t get anymore. Made him feel alive.

Although it always left him dead tired. Sometimes it was good, it means he was able to get to sleep that night. But dawn was breaking at and the sun was rising over the trees. It wouldn’t be long before someone found him.

He barely registers the fact the he turned back to human form as his eyes drift shut.

--

Hagrid finds him that morning. This boy who is usually larger than life, with a smile that is blinding, was reduced to skin and bones, with matted hair in just a few weeks.

He lifts the all too light boy and makes his way to the Hospital Wing.

--

Sirius wakes up to white walls and bright lights.

It smells an awful lot like antiseptic and potions. He hates it because he can recognize where he is immediately. 

He’s grateful that none of his friends—no, not friends. Classmates— aren’t there. He doesn’t expect them to be, although it still kind of hurts seeing as they don’t care.

--

The others weren’t told that Sirius was in the Hospital Wing. Madam Pomphrey didn’t think they’d want to know, nor would they care. She sees the way Sirius has changed. How skinny and underweight he is.

No doubt they’re the cause for this change. They’re the ones that shunned and exiled him.

Although their responses weren’t uncalled for. She herself was reluctant to treat the boy at first, knowing how he hurt Remus.

But this was far more serious then she had originally thought.

--

The only reason that James found out where Sirius was there was because he had to help bring a quidditch teammate. Their keeper blocked a shot wrong and sprained his wrist. There was an upcoming match against Slytherin this weekend, so he wasn’t taking any risks.

He saw Sirius laying unconscious in the hospital bed. Well he thought he was unconscious.

--

Sirius woke to James’ voice. He hasn’t heard that voice in so long. He misses him.

His eyes stayed shut, he wonders if he had opened them would James have stayed?

He heard James’ look curse, before heavy footsteps and the door to the Hospital Wing slamming shut. He can’t help but be disappointed that even just his appearance is enough to make someone flee.

--

Remus is seething by the time he gets down all the stair cases and reaches the hospital wing. James had rushed up to tell him that Sirius was there and he was breathing.

He wasn’t in the best of shape but he would be okay. They could help him and make him okay, even just a little bit to make him feel better.

The door to the Hospital Wing swung open as Remus and James storm in.

--

Sirius startles from where he’s trying to fall back asleep. He wasn’t being very successful anyways. 

He sits up quickly, looking towards the source of the sound. His head is pounding slightly and his vision dances before his eyes before blacking out for a moment from sitting up too fast. 

When it clears, he can finally see. And what he sees terrifies him.

Both James and Remus are storming towards him, a matching unreadable expression covering their faces.

Sirius wanted nothing more than to shrink up and melt into the Hospital bed.

--

“The hell were you thinking Black??” James’ voice was loud, he only ever yelled when he was joking or really fucking pissed. Sirius didn’t think it was the former with his luck.

He flinched away from the voice,

This was the first time he’s been addressed in a long time. The first time someone was actually trying to communicate with him in something other than glares in weeks.

But you deserve this. They hate you. They should hate you, you fucked up. You shouldn’t be here, lying in this bed. You don’t deserve it.

He tried to get the voice in his head to shut up, but it wouldn’t. It was right anyways.

--

Remus looked at his best friend. Someone he used to call his boyfriend. He wished he still did.

Sirius looked tiny in that bed. Like a spooked animal with wide eyes, frantically looking around for an escape. He merely shrugged at James’ question, eyes dropping down at his hands as to not have to look at them.

Remus’ heart broke.

I did this. He thought. I love him so much and yet this is my fault. I reduced him to-to this!

--

James didn’t know who he was more mad at. Sirius or himself.

Then again, Sirius only did what they asked. They told him to stay away, to stop talking because they didn’t want to hear it. 

Sirius really couldn’t be blamed for running.

--

They spent the rest of the day in the Hospital Wing. Making sure Sirius stayed and ate, and maybe one day he be okay.

Sirius couldn’t believe it when they said he was welcomed back. That they didn’t hate him. He cried.

He got his friends back that day, he had his family again.

Madam Pomphrey was relieved to see the gang back together again. Although she might be seeing Mr. Snape a lot more...

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (The Aftermath)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings:

a/n: y/n is about 17 or 18; i cried while writing this. sorry this is really long!!! pls forgive me 🥺

prompt: takes place from a3 to smffh

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Intense Years (3) Continued (5)

let’s start on a happy note! ahahah

so for a while, earth was calm

you, pepper, and tony got to be a family for a while

wedding planning!

of course you got to try the ben&jerry’s ice cream named after your dad: Stark Raving Hazelnuts

“it’s not fair that you got ice cream named after you and i didn’t”

“well, when you grow up to be as awesome as me, maybe you’ll get your own ice cream flavor”

developing nanotech suits together for a Bonding Experience(tm)

speechless after the first test

“dad, this is...”

“the coolest thing to ever exist?”

“yes!!”

yall ready for some shit?

the day that ebony maw invaded was pretty—what’s the word? interesting? no. well, yes, but...HORRIBLE.

it all started when you got the call from your dad

“y/n, incoming call from ‘big fat meanie’”

“god, i really have to change that. okay, JOSHIE, answer it. hey, dad? what’s up?”

“hey, kid! you know that weird ass building on bleecker street? how fast can you get here?”

“JOSH can you track FRIDAY really quick? lets see how far dad is...uh, okay, be there in five, see ya”

taking your suit for a spin and realizing how GREAT it was to be able to basically fold up your suit and put it in your back pocket

knocking on the door and it opened on its own, it was kinda cool

“is this a museum? cool.”

bruce turning around to see you after about three years and giving you an awkward smile and a wave while you stood frozen around the wizard-guys

“y/n, god, you’ve grown up!”

charging into him for a long overdue hug

“you don’t know how much i missed you. it’s been chaotic without you”

“i can...i can only imagine”

a debriefing on the situation you were about to face, and bonus! having to play the catch-up game with bruce

“just call him, dad. we need as much help as we can. steve will understand”

rushing outside to face off with some ugly-ass aliens

“oh nooo, it’s roger smith from american dad”

bruce: 👀, stephen: 👀, wong: 👀, tony: 👏👏🥰 that’s my girl

simultaneous nanosuit unveiling

“you ready for this one, pops?”

“of course! ive waited years to kick some more alien ass”

montage of you and tony getting your asses beat together (as a family <3)

peter showing up

“give me one good reason why i shouldn’t send you back to that school bus”

“because i’m good company?”

“whatever, just listen to whatever dad has to say, i forfeit my responsibilities over you”

pew pew, repulsors, pew, tiny rockets! fun! action! destroying new york again and again. good times...

until JOSHUA gave you notice that your dad was flying high

“call him. now.”

“hey! how’s it going down there?”

“dad, you know how i feel about you and space”

“i know, i know. i just...i gotta take care of this. keep pepper safe for your old man, okay?”

“i lo—l—ve y—”

“y/n? y/n?! i love you! shit!”

“we lost connection with her, sir”

trying to call peter

“call failed, y/n. should i try again?”

“i’m gonna kill them...”

walking through the rubble to find bruce, the only sensible man you know

taking him to the avengers compound asap to get to rhodey and figure out what comes next

meanwhile, tony was dealing with space and another teenager

and worrying a lot about leaving you on earth

“i mean, mr. stark, y/n’s one of the most capable people i know. she’s probably trying to fix this whole mess as we speak”

“i didn’t get to tell her i love her”

“oh...”

having a lovely meeting with thaddeus ross with rhodey, having a lovely time watching them passive-aggresively argue until your former teammates arrived

having to patiently (and professionally) wait for ross to hang up before running into them for a hug

“holy shit, you guys have no idea how bad i’ve wanted to see you. it sucks not being all together anymore”

“i know, y/n. we’ve all missed you.” -cap

“a lot” -nat added

bruce’s little entrance that was sure to bring some awkwardness

you, secretly freaking out about your dad

sam was the one that found you crying after you “stepped out” for a few minutes too long

“oh, y/n,” he was contemplating grabbing someone else to step in, but decided to sit next to you in the hallway, “i’m sorry, kiddo. i can’t promise you anything, but your dad is a fighter. a big pain in the ass. i think your odds are good”

laughing through your tears

“yeah, you’re right. thanks, sammy”

he gave you a little hug while you calmed down

getting to business, the ass-kicking kind

as the wise natasha romanoff once said to your father, you were being “uncharacteristically non-hyper verbal”

your mind did this funny thing...wandered into places it really should not go

the talk about sacrificing vision led to wakanda, where you had a swell time patrolling

“guys! we’ve got incoming. a lot of incoming”

well-deserved uncle/niece team up. who wouldve thought?

you would have nightmares about these aliens for years to come

“you get to die, and you get to die! everybody gets to die!”

“y/n, what did we talk about?” -rhodey

“using humor as a defense mechanism makes the team uncomfortable...”

covering the girls 😌 because we gotta have those all-girl teamups, uh-huh?

some more blasting

thor made his comeback and you just could not miss it

“hi, thor!”

you landed next to him and your helmet receded

“well, hello, miss y/n! good to see you again! my, you got taller...oh! meet my friends: rabbit and tree”

having a “what the actual fuck” moment upon seeing thanos for the first time

and flying at him from behind with a massive nanotech blade ready to kill this purple bastard

but he grabbed your arm and flung you into the dirt, that was gonna leave a mark

“i just had to make a suit when i was ten...no one stopped me, huh? i couldn’t be elon’s kid, he was a nice guy”

watching thanos snap his fingers and looking around to see dust floating through the air and thanos retreat

“rhodey? uncle rhodey?!”

“i’m right here, kid, don’t worry”

he grabbed your hand while you were dusting

“tell my dad i love him, promise?”

fading away and leaving rhodey with your last words

he was mad before anything else

all he could think about was a promise your dad made him take years back

“rhodey, you keep my daughter safe no matter what, promise?”

the avengers recooperating at the compound, waiting to figure out whether any of the space-crew survived

they had to let pepper know that you didn’t make it, she was a mess upon hearing that news

tony finally making his way back to earth

and stumbling out of that ship

“where’s y/n? where is she?!”

“tony, tony, calm down”

“dont tell me to calm down! where is my daughter?!”

“she made me promise to tell you thay she loves you”

tony knew the answer by now, he lost his mind over your death

it didn’t feel right not having you by his side, for the past 18 years you’ve been with him

after a long period of recovery, tony and pepper moved on, got married, built a home, had a new daughter...

tony made sure there was a spare room for you

he put all the things you left behind in it

there were so many photos of you in the house

and he’d show your sister, morgan, all of them. he wanted morgan to know her sister

“that’s y/n when she built her first robot. it snuck up on me a few times. it went ‘boo!’”

morgan loved the stories about you, but she didn’t understand why she couldn’t see you

“when do i get to meet her?”

“uh...maybe someday, sweetie”

after being unbothered for almost 5 years, the remaining avengers came back with a plan that was so tempting, he just wanted his little girl back

cracking under pressure and telling pepper that he couldn’t ignore this mission because it was his chance to get you back

“get her back, tony”

“you think so?”

“i miss her, too.”

and so it began, he made it his mission to get you back

peeking at the wallet picture of you on his shoulders when you were so little

tony travelling to 2012; loki’s invasion

and there you were, the sassy genius 12 year old that he missed so much

“we’ve got this, tony, we’ll bring her home” -scott

and then things went badly and also 2012 tony went into cardiac arrest and 2012 y/n dove onto the floor to tend to him

“dad? give us some room, would you?!”

2023 tony smiling at how much he missed you worrying about him and how reckless he was

but also...the mission kinda went bad so that sucked

push it a bit farther back and now tony was with grandpa stark! asking how to be a dad and all that!

he could barely stand still waiting for you to come back to him, god he missed you more than he thought

and after a bit of hard work, it was time to snap

just like that, you were back in wakanda, puzzled by the gap in time before one of dr. strange’s portals opened in front of you

and then you were in the ruins of the avengers compound

“JOSHUA, can you locate my dad?”

“i think you’ll be able to see him”

“wow, i cant believe i programmed your cocky artificial ass”

“i think you can”

seeing your dad flying high and patching into the comms

“miss me, old man?”

and then he hit the gas to get to you and when this man hugged you, you almost couldn’t let go

“i’m so sorry, y/n. god, i’m sorry. these last five years...i was so lost without you”

“it’s okay, dad, i’m here now”

getting shot at during your reunion

“son of a bitch...we’re having a family moment here, asshole!”

yes, im gonna say it again. of course i am! and.........father/daugher team-up

the last one

“peter, is that you? you asshole! i cant believe you went to space without me!”

“missed you too!”

rhodey!! cant forget about uncle rhodey!!

“you gave my dad the message, right?”

“it was your dying wish, of course i did!”

“great. don’t forget i love you, too, rhodey!”

“couldn’t let me forget it”

lest we forget that pepper joined the fight?

plot twist: (step)mother/daughter team-up

mother/father/daugher team up!!!! ultimate stark machine!!!!!!!

and then you left him alone for 5 minutes and he’s got the infinity stones and you know it’s the last time you’re going to see him and you cant decide what your next move is and you’re just frozen and you cant catch your breath and he snaps and your heart plummets

you have to rush to his side, the last time you can sit beside his tired body and let him know that its going to be okay

“hey dad, it’s okay, we’re gonna be fine. thank you for everything”

peter grabbing your hand as you both sobbed next to your dad, feeling robbed of your time with him

pepper brought you home where she told you all about the five years you missed

both of you just cried harder than you’ve ever cried before

“so i have a sister?”

morgan was so happy to meet you, she couldn’t contain herself, practically latched onto you

and she didn’t fully understand what happened to tony

you saw your new room for the first time and didn’t leave it for a while, occasionally pepper or morgan would pop in

morgan actually crawled into bed with you a few times

the funeral was one of the worst days of your life

the remnants of your young life pulled back together for one day

then you hid back in your room before you heard a knock

“who is it?”

“it’s happy”

“come in”

“hey, kiddo. me and morgan are gonna get some cheeseburgers, you wanna come?”

she really was a stark

after a long hibernation, you started to get back into the groove of your old life

but the press was brutal and harsh, you were bombarded with questions regarding your dad

it took everything not to explode on camera

you stayed in contact with the rest of the avengers, mourning your dead, keeping the support system, staying a family

it was all you could get...for now

[smallestclowninthecircus]

Season 3 notes popping off

due to my desire to not completely fail all my classes this year i made myself slow down significantly while listening to this season, and the fact that the other person i'm listening along with had to catch up. We've managed to convert several other people to start listening and its pretty great.

ep 81: what does it even mean to be chosen by one of them? And if he was chosen by the eye. we know Gertrude wasnt? Because she cut the eyes out of the magazines?

ep 82: elias lmao. I understand why people like him so much bahshdhdk i thought he was gonna snitch on Jon but he didnt so he's fine. Ok but how do we think he knew all that stuff. Idk probably just institute connections. I love the fact that the recorder just wants to record stuff randomly bjahsjdhd. Elias feels a lot like Michael in the sense that he knows more than he should and talks in a way that implies he just wants to wait and see how things play out for his own benefit. I understand him knowing the things that happened but his description of her emotions implies something paranormal. Maybe he's connected to one of the entities. Which one I cannot guess.

ep 83: did a file get delivered randomly to the place he's staying at? Probably elias lmao. He thinks the mannequin is related to the stranger. Idk I would believe it.

ep 84: worms? I know he says earth worms but idk. Again? Is she making gordon golems out of trash? Martin popping off. You can tell the statements get to him more that they get to Jon. How come martin is so mad about it? I want to assume he just doesnt want her to get stuck there but idk. Jude Perry. The calliope organ. Jon heard a circus in one of the last episodes

ep 89: he's talking to perry? Like jude Perry? He says ... God? Is that what it is? Lmao. The Desolation. Jon is tired of ppl being vague and not telling him stuff lmao. Oh God Jon is so confused. Compel her? Is she assuming he has some kind of power? Does he have powers? Hmm. im agreeing with jon here please jesus christ why does everyone have to be so cryptic. Just say what you mean. "maybe you get an itchy eye" bahasjkdfklsjdf girl what. Agnes saved her? Oh this is the girl from the cafe story? So theres the Cult of the Lightless Flame? They worship whatever entity this is? The Desolation? Why do they all seem like they sorta worship her then? Is Gretchen gonna die oh god. fuckin michael. a different michael aaah. i see. dont do it shes gonna burn you. sir. please. sir dont you dare do- WHAT DID I SAY what did you think was gonna happen hhh.

ep 90: try to make it less obvious you're trying to get fired big T. Elias that doesnt sound like the most healthy thing to do. oh dear is this gonna be triggering for me. uuuuuh. uuuuuuuuuh. doesnt seem like it ok gonna keep listening. Jared. hmmmmm. Ok we've seen Keay and hotner or whatever his name was.

ep 91: Michael Crew. Oh is this the lightning scar guy. Mister jon sir did you just die. No? God everyone is so fuckin cryptic. Say normal things please. They all just like to go on about pain and agony and j e s u s c h r i s t we get it you got hurted by whatever thing. So theyre avatars? question mark? Jude Perry is an avatar of The Desolation? hhhh fractals. thats a spiral thing innit. Yup. messing with your perceptions. God they all talk about feeding their god and feeding that which feeds them and. hh what does that meann. Leave big J. please. uh oh. is it daisy? how come he has the web lighter still? the tape recorder just turns on sometimes you know how it is. So he can compel people? not that he knows it obviously but. a bit wack. powers go brr i guess? If the eye just wants knowledge i guess he feeds it by getting the statements? b/c i doubt it wants him to murder ppl or whatever.

ep 92: elias you all knowing fuck what do you know. (i guess all given what i just said) Lukas. Heard of them before. Mordecai Lukas. Loneliness. The lonely even. Jonah Magnus. Elias ur sounding like a bit of a dickhead rn. lmao jon's just like "i dont care" elias what is ur deal. Why does he want to tie her in. ohh i see. lmao theyre all just like "elias why" The Unknowing lol seems very much like something the eye wouldnt like. lol elias is gettin all philosophical. what does it really mean to be human. this still doesnt answer why gertrude wanted to destroy the archives tho.

ep 93: bahsjdfh he seems so dead inside rip. awww admiral. i love him already. ghh breacon and hope. purple mold. doesnt sound like anything we've seen so far. I think the funniest explanation for breacon and hope is that they dont actually serve the stranger they just kinda happen to be a random neutral party that cart around random spooky entity related stuff. ooooh. when we hear the slight static of the tape recorder it's cuz he's compelling ppl.

ep 94: the end! listen man they were all just grayed up for 4/13.

ep 95: the end also? death but also savagery/ animalistic shit. aww martin. lmao becerra. she's just been chillin in the corner.

ep 96: return to sender. haha minecraft go brr. prediction: breacon and hope? yup there we go. jon why is there an echo. are you in a stairwell? is he gonna eat it- yup. how did i call it. unsure abt what theyre talking about but ok. they kidnapped someone? Sarah Baldwin. ooooh that guy.

ok im just putting this here so i have notes for when nicholas gets to this part. It seems like (from jon's conversation with jude perry) that the desolation and the eye are kinda at odds with eachother? like i guess not directly but it seems like they dont really vibe? so how could be with both. Cuz if he has the heat powers and shit then we know he's an avatar of the desolation. but then why does he have so much eye imagery. also he got burned intentionally? like jude did when she went on her monologue about the feeling of burning? but then why did he wear the eye pendant. it stops him from being burned all the way which seems like he's not fully accepting the fire or whatever.

Nooooo I lost like a bunch of my notes rip. I keep forgetting to save.

Ep 104: tim gives a coherent statement without jon even being there. Ugh. Fucking robert smirk. Dont like him. Joey. Dont recognize the name. The show must go on. Clown. The spooky circus?

ep 105: total war... shogun 2? jon is just understanding languages again. "if i understood mandarin or cantonese" are you sure you dont big man?

ep 106: havent we heard this one already? mans in space? oh no this is just another episode in space. fairchild... uuuh. cant remember. oh! this is related to that! this is one of the ppl from the other side. sounds like a Vast thing. oh he's the one that the dude saw? but that guy didnt have a face... she's sorta like jon. wanting to dismiss the statements. lmao i love the workplace gossip. ace jon for the win! oh cmon elias dont be a dick. sunny meadows or whatever. thats the place we heard about.

ep 107: oh great is it jude perry again. Third Degree. bahahsdkfj she was arrested. sorry but imagining this old british lady getting arrested is funny. she was trying to resurrect him. using the skin book. he's not feeling well. jon take a nap. i wonder if this is what happens when he uses his powers too much. He gets into The Zone when he reads statements lol. didn't we have a burning train car in anothre statement? is it julia fairchild? bahahahs "kidnapped. Again." poor jon honestly. julia... about her dad. daughter of the murder shed guy? hunting like your dad liked to hunt or normal people hunting. oh hunting vampires!

ep 108: melanie has been suffering. poor martin peter lukas why do you have to be like this. can he not just use the front door? does he have to bother the ppl doing statements?

ep 109: how come he cut her off? kinda rude tbh. its either jon's influence or there was smth he didnt want her saying. is it gerard on the table? this sounds kinda like smth from one of the university episodes. is it the closed eye on the hand? yup. he's like one of the students! if the thing listening in is elias then... he can do that without the tape recorder yknow. plus who's to say it wont just turn itself on again

110: who wants to bet its a leitner?

111: Lukas related to The Lonely. I used to not like Gerard that much but i like him more now. but i thought there were 15? ohhh thats right isnt flesh newer? gerry for the win honestly. finally telling jon things.

112: lol "again" no one ever tells any of these ppl anything. tim and basira are just out of the loop constantly. music, like the war episodes. The hunt or the slaughter? probably the hunt. so Daisy is related to the hunt right? basira likes the reading, she's doing fine at the institute. daisy's getting worried...

113: it just turned on randomly. what is it lol. explossives! oh boy. why do they always assume he turned it on intentionally. melanie youre not making me like you that much. which entity is this about i cant tell. lol he was disappointed it was just the end. The title Breathing Room made me think it was gonna be about the buried but i guess not. So many of these entities deal with death but the end is one that deals in just death. it has no need for fancy deaths, just death is enough

114: more hilltop road statements? the tree. oh boy. ok the tree has 8 arms obviously theres the spider parallels. was she taken into an alternate universe? oh no. jon tries to phrase things so he's not asking questions. thats honestly good. "sometimes i was kidnapped" oh dear. they got gertrude. daisy ur so odd lmao. who wants to bet they dont know the tape recorder's running?

115: silaca? or whatever? antique man? meat grinder... related to the meat is meat episode? oh wow. they buy antiques from him. maybe dont antagonize this creature which can kill you?

116: lol theyre all just so done with elias. music? is it like the one band that if you hear them you die or wtvr. oh its chess? i am very much confused. mmm stranger go brr. gorilla skin? oh shit the dance. woah. this is so good. this is so gender. the words are wonderful. "you can just say tim" lmao trying to fool elias never feels like a good idea.

117: except elias lmaoo. oh shit. leitner getting some use for once idk. bruuh poor melanie she has been thru so much shit. martin you can just say youre worried about jon. lol he's so accurate in his jon impression. lol who was that. was that daisy? lmaoo. oop hi tim. oh god i hope tim doesnt die. i feel like i wouldve heard about that? but im not sure. destroying the source of knowledge is gonna be hard for jon. yay jon! you did a good thing. let him rest.

118: go off martin lmao. awww poor martin. oh god the tape gets that squealy quality and its awful.

119: woah. lots of things happening. uhh. POP OFF TIM!!

120: lmao elias giving a statement about jon's dreams lol. damn jon doesnt even get his own dreams? has to stay Watching even when he's asleep? f in the chat this man goes thru so much shit. oh boy its peter. lol martin my beloved. idk i dont trust peter.

[p1nkwitch]

For the writing asks: 3, 5, 6, and 14?

3- What is that one scene that you’ve always wanted to write but can’t be arsed to write all of the set-up and context it would need? (consider this permission to write it and/or share it anyway)

Oh this- listen i have an entire universe for this whole thing with several branching timelines.

Its originally planned with an oc that i have that i ship with Elias and Peter. But im not going to put her here, cause that implies writing the entire thing with her in it and-

Well its a lot. Like its seriously a lot.

So to simplify the whole thing I'm going to omit her.

Anyways this universe in particular-

I love this verse.

Jon is having an existential crisis.

Which for him its not new, but this is taking the cake perhaps for all the wrong reasons he can think of.

His day started normal, then it got bad when Martin was gone with Peter Lukas. He had been about to confront them, talking with Elias first-

But the next thing he knew is that they were no longer there.

Elias, Peter, Martin and himself were all sprawled out in some backyard.

The noise seemed to attract attention from someone inside the house, he was about to try and defend himself saying he didn't mean to break in-

When the person that opens the door is no one else than Elias himself. A few more grey hairs along, but still absolutely him. He checks with the one next to him to confirm that yes it is a double. And not the stranger. He doesn't have-

He-

Jon would admit that he panicked, because where beholding should be, there was nothing.

Twenty minutes later has the five of them in the living room. His-

God he doesn't want to call him his Elias. So he would go for Elias and the other is just other Elias.

Is giving the older looking one an impressive glare.

“So…. When are you from exactly?” This was building up to be a nightmare.

Elias and Martin start to ask questions and the man winces before shushing them.

“Not so loud, you will wake him” That makes everyone look confusedly at him.

“Wake who?”

“My-” Steps can be heard from the stairs.

“Dad?”

Jon is really losing it.

A boy, couldn't be more than… 5? Is looking at them holding a seal plushie. There is something very familiar about him.

Black hair, pale skin, light blue eyes and freckles-

Jon slowly turns around to look at Peter and has another startling revelation.

“Its ok Simon, i have visitors and they got rowdy” The boy looks at them and seems to become smaller and smaller, he darts to the older Elias and starts to make hand signs, that he seems to get.

“I- ok, ok, yes, no. He will be back in a little bit with your sisters-”

Sisters??!!

Elias, the one he came with is looking more and more perturbed and lost. So its not only him.

“Ok, let me take you up, if you gentleman can wait without destroying the place…” He raises an eyebrow like a disappointed parent and despite being 30 years old and knowing he is a piece of shit, Jon can't help but slide back on his seat and nod.

His life is a bloody nightmare.

Other Elias picks up his-

His son

And goes up while talking to him. The child clings to his neck and hides his face there.

Other scene.

“What do you mean the powers are gone???”

“Mm, i mean that they are gone, i tried my ritual and my version of Jon just- did something and especially it cut off every last single avatar from the entities. The leading theory is that new avatars can be made, but those from before? We just cant use them anymore. Its the main reason why Peter’s family is convinced that Simon can help them bring back the lonely. The amount of times we had to keep them from kidnapping him its impressive”

“My- excuse me what???” Peter looks scandalized, his family would not-

“Peter… Do you think they would just take your kid if they thought that it would help them along with forsaken?” The other Elias gives him a tired and somewhat rueful look.

It sets something off in him so he looks to his Elias. He nods lightly and it makes him-

Angry? Being here is throwing him off.

The lonely… he can’t feel it, it's not muffling his feelings and its making him feels off.

5- What character that you’re writing do you most identify with?

I would say... Peter? I was rather lonely as a child and preteen until i met my best friend. Too weird and my siblings and i got along, but we have a 10 year age gap difference so they had their own stuff to do. That made me be on my own a lot and explore around the house. His statement just hits right with me and i love to write him because of it.

I am also very anxious with people. If i know you i will have no issue, but alone and with strangers? I would rather disappear in a cloud of smoke. Peter is cheerful despite the lonely or maybe because of it. So i get being lonely too and identify with him.

Also when i do write him? Tim. Happy and cares a lot about a small group of people that he is close with? Loves his friend but can be mean?

I adore him.

Elias or Jon because i crave knowing stuff and deal with impostor syndrome about my achievements a lot so yeah!

Still its mainly the lonely sailor.

6- What character do you have the most fun writing?

Elias, but because i get to explore a lot of things and play around with him. He is fun to put in situations that are out of his control, or perhaps make him deal with feelings that he has repressed a long time.

He is my stress ball for writing.

Also i love his reactions to some of the things i put him though, making horny Elias always cracks me up.

Peter has a similar effect when I want to deal with some family dynamics and what it means to be lonely as i said before.

Mm also i want to write some Gerry but i need to wait a little bit longer for that ;)

14-At what point in writing do you come up with a title?

Except for like 4 fics?

Its the last thing i put, i literally have to come up with one just as im about to post the story on ao3. And its usually whatever I can scrounge up from the story or a lyric line that i like and feel that fits.

I suck at naming stuff and giving summaries.

Everything i do name, is a reference to something else usually so titles are the pain of my existence.

[wreckofawriter]

Painted Books

Pairing: Young!Sirius Balck x Slytherin!reader

Word Count: 3,297 (I'm sorry I got carried away)

Warnings: Swearing, Underaged drinking, Mentions of alcohol abuse/addiction, Super long

Summary: After a prank Sirius ruins something extremely important to you, so you get pissed. While sneaking around he realizes why you were so pissed and tries to apologize

A/n: Omfg I havent been on tumblr for like a month I'm so sorry I was inactive, high school has sort of been kicking my ass. I hope this super long story makes up for it. I actually kinda like this one alot, hope you enjoy it.

Hatred filled you like air into a balloon. Your blood had been replaced by lava and it was steaming, white-hot through you. Those idiot Gryffindors were going to regret everything they have ever done in about 10 minutes you thought as you looked at your common room. Red and gold covered everything. Every couch, every chair, every table, every wall, and unfortunately for you, every book and paper on the tables. You screeched loudly.

You had simply left for 30 minutes to eat dinner before returning to your homework and now, not only was the positions essay you had almost finished been ruined but so had your charms, Defence against the dark arts and herbology essays. Along with the seven books for those classes you had bought at the begging of the year. There was no way that you would be able to clean the paint off, it was surely enchanted and now you would have to stay up all night finishing essays that would never be even half of the quality the originals were.

As the rest of the Slytherin house began to clean up the mess you had ideas of making a new one. And not of their common room but of Sirius Black's face.

You snatched your soggy papers and books off of the table and stormed out of the room. The second you saw him your anger returned like a boiling title wave. He had just ruined all of your work from the past week and now he was laughing throwing his head back as his shiny teeth flashed and his glistening black hair fell away from his precise jawline and cheekbones. You walked straight up to him and before he could even look at you, you grabbed the collar of his shirt and threw him against the wall holding him there. As you did you heard many people utter gasps of surprise and James yell something but you were defened by wrath. His eyes widened in surprise then relaxed as you saw your small frame.

“You think this is funny?” You yelled holding your paint-splattered papers and books up for him to see.

“I do find it quite amusing.” He answered with a smirk.

You screeched again, shoving your fist upward effectively throwing him back against the wall and jabbing him in the throat. You may be small but you were far from weak.

“Look if you wanted to throw me against the wall you could have just asked.” He winked, his voice coming out raspy from his throat being half closed by your hand.

“You absolute piece of shit!” you screamed, “You just ruined all of my work from this whole fucking week! I'm going to fail because of you!”

“You could just sleep with the professor again.” He sneered Your eyes widened in shock, it had been a year since the rumor of you sleeping with a teacher had ruined your social life and here was this high and mighty asshole, who had slept with half the school bringing it up again. You had had enough. You brought your knee up and as it connected with his crotch you dropped his collar and he tumbled to the ground with a scream.

“You say anything like that again I will break your nose.” You hissed down at him, throwing your ruined essays and books at him. With that, you turned on your heel and left pushing past the group of students that had gathered to watch. Before you could exit the scene a hand grabbed your wrist.

“What the hell was that for? It was just a stupid prank!” James yelled as you snatched your hand from his grasp.

“It wasn't just the prank asshole.” You growled glaring up at him.

And that was the truth it wasn't just the prank. It wasn't your homework being ruined, hell it wasn't even the fact he accused you of sleeping with a professor. All of those things were insignificant to the real problem. He had ruined your books. No, you’re not some Ravenclaw who obsessed over books, and it's not like they were signed by the author either they were simply books. But not to you. To you, they were the extra hours you worked at a stupid coffee shop. They were the late nights and early mornings you had forced yourself in to. They were the reward you got for getting stared at by men twice your age because of the stupid tiny skirt that was somehow considered as a uniform. Hell, you worked all fucking summer. Your whole summer was just dumped in paint by some pretentious brat and his even more pretentious friends.

When you reached the Slytherin common room you were close to tears and when you entered you saw the one thing that could cheer you up. Kathy. Kathy was your best friend, she was also one of your few friends, I mean you were a Slytherin half-blood, you were no Lily Evans. She was also Slytherin and was the good cop to your bad cop attitude. When she saw you she rushed you upstairs as you explained what happened.

Sirius, Remus, and Peter crept quietly (not so quietly) through the halls under the famous invisibility cloak. James stood beside them his head-boy badge shining in the light of his wand.  

“Shut up Wormtail,” James scolded, “I think I hear someone.”

They all stopped and listened. With the shuffling noises silenced they could hear something. Laughter drifted through the halls. Soon muffled voices could be heard from some hidden place.

“I think they're in the kitchen,” Remus whispered.

“I hope they’re Slytherin.” James giggled as they approached the hidden door to the kitchen. James poked the bowl of fruit, hitting the apple once and the orange twice. The door swung open into the first layer of the kitchens. They shuffled in James taking the lead they were about to continue through the next doorway when Sirius heard a voice that made him jump.

“Wait!” his whispers called to his friend.

“What?” James whispered back.

“That's Y/n,” Sirius explained.

“Hell yeah this is going to be fun,” James smiled wide happy to catch you out of bed. “Finally get the bitch back.” He began to walk toward the second room in the kitchen when Sirius stepped out from beneath the cloak and grabbed his shoulder.

“Just let me see what she's doing.” He asked.

James’s eyebrows scrunched together in confusion he opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted.

“Please.” Sirius begged his friend, “Then we can bust her.”

“Fine” he muttered

Remus handed Sirius the invisibility cloak sighing, “This better be quick.” disapprovingly

Sirius rolled his eyes throwing the cloak over him and walked into the next room what he saw made his jaw drop.

There you sat, on the kitchen floor in nothing but a deep green crop top and a pair of shimmery silver booty shorts. Your y/h/l y/h/c hair was cascading down your back like a waterfall that seemed to glow in the candlelight. Next to you sat a brunette girl in a hoodie and sweatpants that Sirius recognized as Kathy Underhill. In your right hand, you clutched a bottle of fire whiskey and in your left, you held a spoon filled with chocolate ice cream from the carton at your feet.

“You know everryboddy thiks that imma stuck up bish now right?” You slurred, clearly drunk.

“I'm sure they don't,” Kathy said clearly sober.

“Oooohhh yeahhu they do.” You continued. “They’re all wike look at that tempershmental bitch who cants take a joke, wow somebody locks her up shes crazy, she fucked a professor for an and she is sooooo stuck up.”

“Well it's not true,” Kathy said grimacing as you took another swig from the bottle.

“SOO WHAT?” You shouted, your voice suddenly rising as you did from your crossed legs dropping you spoon on the ground, “What am I gonna say, I'm not shtuck up my mom is a alchohalic that blows her money on booze and I had to work all fucking summer in a shitty Cafe where middle-aged men stared up my skirt, to afford the books that the two ashholes you call “funny” you added very dramatic air quotes on the last word. “Ruined for a stupid prank ecaus they are stuck ups dicks who shove money up their asses for fun.”

Sirius’s eyes widened, he really shouldn't be listening to this conversation.

Tears began to fall from your eyes in large drops and Kathy sighed as you started to blabber nonsense.

“Alright sweetie, let's get you off your feet before your trip and kill yourself,” Kathy said rising toward you. You continued to sob as she took the bottle from your hands and helped you to the floor where you buried your head in her lap as she stroked your hair.

“Looks like imma just like my-” You hiccuped “- my bitch of a mother.” You groaned angrily.

“Hey honey, you will never be like that woman, I promise.” Kathy soothed, “I promise.”

“Your the best. I love you” You muttered as you began to drift into sleep.

“Love you too.” Kathy sighed.

    Sirius was so caught up in the scene in front of him he almost forgot about his friends who were waiting for him. He quickly turned and walked back to the second room where he removed the cloak and looked at his three wide-eyed friends.

    “Oh shit,” James muttered as he looked at Sirius who looked on the edge of a breakdown. Without another word, Sirius thrust the cloak into his friend's hands and bolted.

    Of all the people he knew what it was like to hate your mother, to have nothing, to work your ass off for things that are ruined by someone who had so much more. Now he had caused that pain. He had ruined your books. He had destroyed your hard work. He had caused those tears that sprung from your eyes. He had become what he hated most.

Sirius may be fast but James was faster, and he caught the young boy’s wrist before he could escape to god knows where.

When Sirius world around James saw something very rare in his eyes, tears. They were glassy and full. One cascaded down his cheek leaving a shimmering river in its wake.

“Sirius it's not your fault.” He said looking at his friend quite concerned.

“I ruined her books.” he sniffed,

“We didn't know, it's not our fault her mom’s an alcoholic,” James explained.

Sirius glared at his friend ripping his hand from James's angrily, “Would you have cared?” he asked bitterly.

“Of course I would,” James said sincerely

“I don't think you would have,” Sirius seethed taking a step towards him. “You have always had everything, the parents, the money, the house, the smarts, the skills, the girlfriend. YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO HAVE NOTHING!” He yelled his face red with fury, “So you don't know what it's like to have the one thing you did have ripped from you.” He whispered stepping away from his friend taking a couple of steps turning and sprinting back to the common room.

The next morning Sirius woke to see a stack of books on the end of his bed with a note stuck on top.

“Your right, I'm a dick, now please go give that girl these books and essays before I feel even more like shit. P.S you owe Remus big time for the essays” Sirius lifted the note to see a stack of brand new books and on top four essays each with the name Y/n Y/l/n printed in your handwriting on top. He then glanced at the stack of paint covered books in the corner you had thrown at him, they were still there covered in paint. Confusion covered him He then remembered who he was friends with and smiled.

“James you idiotic genius.” He muttered looking at each perfectly crafted essay. His eyes were shining.

    You woke to a less pretty sight. Your head throbbed as you sat up in your bed groaning, you looked at the clock, you still had an hour till your first class but you were too hungry to pass up breakfast, even with your head about to explode. You got up stretched moaning at the pounding in your head and changed into your robes. You headed down to the grand hall after downing five Advils.

When you arrived you saw Kathy chatting with a few other girls you knew. You sat down next to her grabbing the pot of coffee of the table and dumping it into your cup as Kathy greeted you.

    “Damn Y/n you look like shit.” a girl named Emma said.

    “I feel like shit too.” You answered as you took a massive swig of the coffee.

    “You stay up late finishing your essays?” Another girl asked.

    You groaned throwing your aching head onto the table as the essays that you had forgotten about reentered your half-awake mind.

“I swear next time I see one of those four assholes I'm gonna put them six feet under.” Kathy hissed.

As if on cue Sirius Black tapped your shoulder. You spun around and were about to speak when Kathy rose, “I think she's seen enough of you Black.” she said sternly.

“Look I know I was I dick I just want to apologize,” Sirius mumbled seeming very uncomfortable as all the girls at the table glared him down.

“She doesn't need your fake apologizes, she’s had enough for a lifetime,” Kathy growled.

“It’s fine Kath.” You sighed, “I'm way too hungover to deal with him asking all day anyway.” You grumbled quietly to her.

She huffed and sat down glaring the boy down as she retracted to her seat.

You looked up at him waiting.

Sirius flashed bright red, an unusual sight, “Oh um I thought I could talk to you in private.” he asked his voice fading in the last words as he scuffed the ground with his feet.  

You sighed, “If this is another prank Black I will break you back.”

“No no no I swear it's not.” He said hurriedly.

You groaned standing from the ground and following him out of the hall, still feeling like shit.

“Look, before you break my back can you let me finish what I’m saying?” He asked nervously, You had never seen the boy so nervous.

“Depends on what you say.” You answered narrowing your eyes.

“Alright then here goes,” He sighed “So me and the rest of us were with James last night and we umm heard you and Kathy, and I just-” He was cut off by a fist hitting his jaw.

“YOU ASSHOLE!” You yelled as you realized what he must have heard. Anger once again overrode your systems and you glared at the boy in front of you, “I swear to Merlin I'm gonna drive my-”

He slapped his hand over your mouth muffling your shouts. “Please just listen,” He begged, “Please.” when you looked at him you saw something you had never seen on his face before, desperation. This made you stop nodding as he slowly removed his hand from your mouth. Today was full of new experiences.

“Look I just wanted to say I'm really sorry for ruining your books and that I was a dick and well here.” He said as he reached into his bag and took out a bundle of books and papers.

You gasped when you saw the papers were essays, in your handwriting but much better than you ever could have written, and the books were all of the ones that had been ruined in paint except they were all hardcover and pristine as if they were bought last night.

“How did you….??” Your voice trailed off as you scanned the papers and books.

“My friends may be idiots but they’re geniuses.” He chuckled nervously.

Your amazement was replaced by rage (again) when you realized what was happening and anger flashed in your eyes, “I don't want your pity, Black.” You seethed handing his books back.

“No no no, it's not pity please.” He said as you turned to go.

“What is it then?” you glowered.

“It’s empathy ok? I know what it's like to have an asshole for a mom who never did anything for you ok? I know what it's like to have nothing. I know.”

You stared at him confused, what did a pureblooded rich kid know about that?

“Look my mom kicked me out last year, I mean not out of the house but out of the family. She disowned me and I get it, it sucks. I just got lucky to have amazing friends like James whose parents are super cool.” He sighed handing you the books back, “I was a dick, I’m really truly sorry.”

Your mouth hung open eyes wide. How had you never know this? You knew his brother and him didn't exactly get along but you never knew anything like that had happened to him. And then you did the last thing you expected you would ever do. You took two steps forward and hugged him. Dropping the books and papers on the floor, you wrapped your hands around his waist and buried your head in his chest. At first, he was surprised but it only took him a second to react and he wrapped one arm around your waist to the small of your back and his other around your shoulder resting his hand on the back of your head and pulling you closer to him.

You noticed he smelt of mint and smoke as you let your tears fall from your eyes, soaking his robes.

He buried his head into your soft y/h/c locks and he smelt pomegranate and ginger with the slight tinge of vanilla linger there. His eyes filled with tears and he squeezed them shut as he felt your body shake with sobs. You don’t know how long you stayed there but you wished to forever. When you did pull away your eyes were puffy and red as were his. You were about to turn to pick up the books and papers that were scattered on the ground when Sirius spoke.

“Hey Y/n one more thing.” He said.

“Wha-” his lips collided on yours and it was your turn to be shocked. After a second you melted into the kiss and leaned back into his minty scent as you felt his toung run along your lower lip, you tipped your chin upward giving him better access to your mouth. As his hand found the side of your cheek and yours found his hair. You pulled away after a few seconds later gasping for air.

You looked up at him cheeks flaming red, “Sorry I pushed you into the wall” You paused, “And kneed you… and punched you in the face”

“You could make it up to me by got to Hogsmeade with me this weekend.” He suggested voice barely above a whisper as he stroked your cheek.

“Sound good.” You giggled just then you glanced at your watch. “Shit!” You yelled quickly gathering you new books and essays from the ground. “I've got to get to Herbology!” you turned, turned back placed a quick kiss on Sirius' cheek, “I'll see you later.” You said before dashing out the doors onto the grounds. As he watched you go he touched his flaming cheek with his hand. A few seconds later James walks up next to him.

“She a little less pissed?” he asked nervously.

“You have no idea how much I owe you right now.”

[shadedrose01]

Truth or Dare (Yes, I Double Dare You)

Ships: Parkner (Harley Keener/Peter Parker), mentioned Thompsborn (Harry Osborn/Flash Thompson)

Summary: Peter play Truth or Dare with his friends.

Tags: Febufluff, Day 8, I dare you to kiss me, Truth or Dare, Party Games, Birthday Party, They play truth or dare y'all, Peter has a crush on Harley, Harley likes him back, Thompsborn is in this too, Bisexual Peter Parker, Gay Harley Keener, Dare, Calling your crush, admitting feelings, Mutual Pining, First Kiss, Kissing, Cute, Fluff, a lot of swearing, I dont know why i made them swear so much, im sorry lol, Bad French, Poor translated french, I Tried

Day eight of Febufluff: "I dare you to... kiss me"!

--

"Hmm, I dare you to speak in a French accent for the next three rounds." Flash grins over his cup, swirling the drink in front of his mouth before taking a sip, watching the smile drop off of his boyfriend's face, an incredulous expression replacing it.

"Seriously?!?"

"Yes, seriously! And that wasn't in an accent!"

"Oui, oui, baguette." Harry deadpans, looking so entirely done with Flash's bullshit, the entire room erupting into laughter as said boy sits up, shoving his boyfriend's shoulder hard.

"No halfassed bullshit, dickwad. The real deal."

"Fine, you want the real deal?" Harry sits up straight, and Peter starts giggling like a mad man from the other side of the room, leaning against the wall to watch the scene unfold, knowing exactly what is about to happen. Harry clears his throat, holds a dramatic pause for a few seconds, before- "Tu veux un accent francaise, tu vas recevoir un accent francaise."

"Oh my god, I forgot he spoke French!" Flash moans, slowly slipping down the wall in shame.

"Oh la la, ma chérie, qu'est ce que tu as fais, eh?" Harry grins, smug, cheeky, knowing he's won this hand as his boyfriend sinks even lower, his head almost level with the ground, his face red.

"And why is it so hot?!?"

"Okay, okay, enough." Ned laughs, sitting chris cross apple sauce beside Peter, the party hat sat on the top of his head beginning to sag.

It was Ned's 17th birthday, and instead of throwing a big party full of alcohol and loud music like most people in their classes did, he decided to have a smaller party, a sleepover full of board games, video games and now party games, with his closest friends, with their friend group. So here they all were, packing into Ned's smaller sized room, Flash and Harry practically conjoined at the hip sitting against the wall, Peter and Ned sitting on top of his bed on the other side of the room, and MJ and Harley leaning against said bed, sat on the floor, playing what would hopefully be a quick game of Truth or Dare. Hopefully.

Peter had never liked this game. There was always too much risk for him in this game, of being asked to reveal one of his many secrets, or of being asked to embarrass himself for laughs. He gets the appeal of it, the adrenaline rush, the amusement of watching your friends do something stupid, it's a fun game to watch, but that doesn't mean he likes playing it. He hadnt even called on yet though, and he was hoping to keep it that way.

He shouldn't have jinxed it.

As if his thoughts manifested into reality, Harry turns to stare at him with a unknown, horrifying glint in his eyes. Oh no, this is definitely not going to end well. "Action ou Vérité?"

Peter sighs, looking up to the ceiling as he mumbles "Dare.", assuming that's what Harry asked. If he's going to go down, he may as well go down in style.

Harry's grin widens, and Peter is already regretting his decision. "Je te défie de telephoner ton béguin."

Peter blinks at him in confusion, before MJ translates, "He's daring you to call your crush."

"What?!?" Peter sputters, Harry cackling at  his flushing face while Harley speaks up for the first time in a while, his ('beautiful, gorgeous, fuck-') face turned towards MJ, scrunched up in thought.

"You know French? Since when?"

MJ just shrugs, face impartial, the only sign of her shyness being her pushing a stray hair behind her ear. "Since I got bored one day and learned it."

Harley just nods, like that makes sense, all while Peter is internal freaking the fuck out. Normally, this type of thing wouldn't be an issue. Sure, your friends will find out who your crush is, and tease you about it, and it'll be embarassing and whatever, but that's not the problem. Oh no no no no no, that would be too easy for Peter Parker. No, the problem with this question for Peter is that his crush is in the damn room, sitting directly in front of him leaning against the bed, an easy smile tilting up his thin pink lips, showing off his adorable dimples as he scans the room again with those big, stunning ocean blue eyes, hair coiffed back just right, messy, but just neat enough to be perfect, one stray blond curl falling in front of his eyes and fuck, fuck, frick fuck.

What is he going to do?!? He can't exactly call Harley when he's right in front of him, but he can't exactly say that he won't do it either, he wont be that guy. And now everybody is staring at it, expectant, waiting, shit, shit, shit-

Ned's eyes are the only ones that are sympathetic, because he knows, he knows who Peter likes and why this is such a big deal. Harley is one of Peter's best friends, they've been friends for years, and Peter is closer to Harley than he is to anybody else, he cant just throw it all away because of a game, can he? Harley definitely doesnt like him back, so if he does call him, it'll only end badly, but theres this tiny, tiny, traitorous part of him that wants to fo it, wants to tell him, if only to get it out in the open. But he cant ruin their friendship like that, he cant, but- but- oh god, oh no-

"Come on, Parker, we don't have all day." Flash complains innocently, not knowing of Peter's internal dilemma as he throws a stray piece of popcorn at him, Peter catching it subconsciously and throwing it into his mouth, just to try and get a few more seconds of peace before all hell breaks loose, before he destroys his closest friendship with his stupid ass feelings, goddamn it-

"Yeah, Pete, come on, dont keep us on the end of our seats." Harley teases, placing his head onto the blankets and looking back at him upside down, his hair surrounding his head like a halo, making him look even more angelic that he normally does, and god, why him, why? "Who's caught your eye, hm?"

Peter takes a deep, long, shaky breath, trying to prepare himself for the worst (and failing), taking his phone out of his pocket and scrolling down to Harleys contract, the black letters and two heart emojis on either side staring back at him mockingly. He hovers his thumb over the call button, noting how much its trembling, before he gulps and presses it, placing the phone to his ear, squeezing his eyes shut like a coward, unable to watch, knowing that Harleys expression was going shift, was going to turn from soft and warm, friendly, to hard and angry, to hatred and disgust and-

ACDC blares out into the room, the noise very obviously Harley's ringtone, and Peter grits his teeth, biting his tongue hard, his heart hammering in his chest.

"Wha-" Harley sounds so confused, so so confused, and Peter's squeezes his eyes shut tighter, holding back the burning tears that are threatening to spill. "Peter, why are you- wait..." He stops, pauses, and Peter digs his nails into his palm, squeezing his phone until he hears it start to crack. "...really?"

His voice is shaky, and god, Peter made him upset, he is probably so hurt, so confused, so disgusted, god stupid, you're so stupid, why would you do that, why didnt you just not do it, why why why-

He nods once, slowly, swallowing down a sob before whispering out "I'm sorry," into the now eerily silent room, his friends seemingly shocked into silence. He doesnt even want to know what they're thinking, what expressions are on their faces-

Theres another pause, another moment before he hears somebody shifting, Harley standing up, he's leaving, he's leaving- Good job, Parker, now you're forcing him to leave, you made him feel so uncomfortable that he's leaving, good fricken job, god, what is wrong with you-

A hand rubs his cheek gently, so so gently, spurring him out of his head as it brushes away a tear that had broken free, before another hand joins it on his other cheek, cradling his face. Peter blinks opens his eyes, shocked to see that its Harleys hands on his face, and that its Harley sat right in front of his face, with a wide smile and glowing eyes, face bright. "You mean it? You really mean it?"

Peter just nods again, so, so confused but also filling with a spark of hope, of joy as Harley's smile grows even more, filling his face before he launches into Peter's arms, hugging him tightly. "Oh thank god," he breathes into Peter's shoulder, and Peter is so lost, what is happening- "I thought you  were gonna call someone else, and I was gonna have to act all happy and like it didn't bother me when it totally would have and-"

"Wait, wait," Peter finally puts together the pieces, and pulls away to stare at Harley with wide eyes, the beginning of a smile twitching at his lips. "You like me back?"

"Yeah?" Harley cheeks grow a rosey hue, and he looks away bashfully. "I thought it was obvious."

Peter shakes his head wildly, eyes still wide, this cant be happening, he likes me back, he likes me- "No, no it wasn't, it really really wasn't-"

"So, what I'm hearing," MJ cuts in, tone blunt as always, but with hints of warm amusement softening the usual edge, "is that you two are oblivious idiots."

They both laugh breathless, staring into each others eyes. "Apparently." Harley murmurs, his blue eyes swirling and flickering up and down, looking down at his lips before looking back up again.

Peter gets an idea, a cheesy, cheesy idea, and grins. "Hey, it's my turn now, right?" He asks to the group, never taking his eyes off of Harley.

"Yeeup!" Ned responds enthusiastically, seemingly thrilled to see his two best friends realizing their feelings for one another.

"Well," he leans forward a bit more, watching as Harleys pupil's grow bigger. "Truth or dare, Harls."

"Dare." He responds easily, quickly, seemingly getting more and more antsy by the second. Peter can't blame him, he feels the same way.

"I dare you to kiss me." Peter doesnt even finish his sentence before Harley's lips are pressed to his, his hands moving upwards and running through his hair, fingers grabbing lightly onto the strands as Peter grabs his hips lightly, pulling him closer, both of the boys grinning into the kiss. Peter can hear MJ gagging in the background, Harry exclaiming "gross!" like he doesnt kiss Flash every two seconds, and Ned squealing like a fangirl, but he ignores it all, just focusing on Harley, focusing on this moment, his heart swelling in his chest.

[tonysiron]

"I'm pretty sure thats private property."

Miles gasps and jumps, whipping around anxiously before freezing.

"Y-You're-You're Spiderman." He drops his spray can, buckling slightly against the wall.

Peter shifts just slightly, takes a step forward, and Miles inches away. The kid looks like hes about to bolt, but Peter raises his hands cautiously.

"Hey, hey, you're not hurting nobody." He promises. "I'm not mad, I...."

His gaze shifts to the Iron Man piece behind Miles. The placement of color, and intrinsic realism that displays his hero, his father.

"I'm impressed." He says gently. Miles slowly relaxes and turns to the graffiti. He looks up at it, slowly takes a few steps back, before he's standing next to Peter.

"He saved my Dad," Miles says, swallowing thickly. "It's the least I could do.."

Peter nods slowly, just staring. A few brief moments of silence passes between them, before Miles notices Peter's shoulders beginning to shake, the way his head dips down, the way he places his hands over his face.

"M-Mr. Spiderman?" Miles asks awkwardly, placing an unsure hand on his shoulder.

Peter chokes out a laugh at that, but it dissolves into a sob, and suddenly he's on his knees, his body shaking violently as he tries to keep himself together. Miles bends down next to him, and, still unsure of what to do, decides to try and rub his back to comfort the distraught hero.

"I couldn't save him. I should have saved him, it's all my fault-It's-" Spiderman let out another heart wrenching sob into the dead of night, and all Miles could think about how weird this situation was.

You meet a superhero and you expect them to be big and stern and strong, but what he sees now is a broken man who, come to think of it, doesnt sound that much older than Miles himself.

"Hey, hey, Mr. Spiderman, it's not-it's not your fault-" He reassures, but even himself begins to feel the weight of the world crawl onto his shoulders. A heavy lump forms in his chest, and rolls up his throat, and he swallows thickly as he listens to Peter cry next to him.

Eventually the tears die down, but Miles doesnt move. They are stuck in time, in a moment he feels that shouldn't be broken.

"He was-he was... like a father to me." Peter whispers to the ground. "He... He was all I had." He chokes just slightly, sniffles, and then turns his head.

Miles tilts his own curiously, before he freezes up as he notices Spiderman beginning to roll up his mask just slightly to wipe his nose. Miles averts his gaze, giving him his privacy.

After finishing his sniffling, Peter rolls his masks back down, and looks up at the wall.

"He saved all of us." Miles says softly. "I was... alone for so.... so long." His voice shakes. "And then one day I wake up and theyre home again..."

His mind races to the months prior to this very moment. He thinks of his mother and father, disoriented and confused, but alive.

Peter looks at him quietly, the mask hiding his own expression.

"Sometimes...... we gotta lose the people we love," Miles says quietly. "To cherish the life we have."

Peter looks away, back at the ground.

"It happened to you too." Miles says. He thinks back to the years in the streets, the loneliness, the terror. The walls he destroyed with his own feelings, not a care in the world. The anger he felt at the universe.

"You disappeared. So many people did. But he brought them all back. Isnt that worth something?"

Another silent moment passes between them. For a moment, as he looks up at the Iron Man displayed on the wall, the word "Hero" under the image, he remembers he should be in trouble.

But he isnt...

"I cant do it." Peter breathes, and Miles snaps up to look at him.

"Everyone is depending on me to-to do the right thing. Nobody is saying it, but we all know that-that its up to me, now." He says shakily.

"What if I mess up? What if I disappoint him? What if im not the man he wanted me to become?" His voice drops.

"What if I cant be better?"

Miles stares at him, gaping just slightly, and then sits up. Peter watches him go, but is shocked to see the boy spin around.

"You're freaking Spiderman!" Miles squeaks, pointing at him. "You dont have to try at all." He says softly. "You've already got it. You're the best we have-that we could ever ask for. Nobody is doubting you. The only person who doesn't see that is you." He says.

"If Iron Man, the guy who saved the universe, didnt have an ounce of faith in you, he wouldnt have bothered in the first place."

The moment the words leave his mouth, he wants to take them back. Talk about being a huge dick to a mourning hero, who could totally kick the shit out of him and make it look like an accident if he wanted to.

Spiderman stares at him for a long, brief silence, and Miles really is afraid he's going to swing at him.

But he doesnt.

Peter stands, walks forward, and then grabs the kid, pulling him into a fierce hug.

And while Miles returns it, all he can think is oh my god i am hugging spiderman right now

When Peter steps back, he chuckles wetly and clears his throat.

"You're a good kid, Miles. We should hang out some time." He says simply and thwips out a web to a nearby building.

"I-uh-Yeah! Yeah, totally!" He squeaks out, totally caught off guard.

Peter gives him a firm nod, before looking up and disappearing into the night.

Just as he disappears, Miles frowns, before looking up into the sky.

"Wait, how do you know my name!"

[certifiedskywalker]

Academic Misgivings (Part Ten) - Peter Parker

You and Peter Parker aren’t friends, but you’re not entirely enemies either. You don’t like him but he always tries to be nice to you. He has everything you’ve ever wanted and you’ll do anything to show him that you can make it on your own. But can you?

Things are looking up! The truth is out there and Y/N and Peter finally know where they stand with each other. But will this relationship last? Or will outside forces bring it crumbling down?

/ PART ONE / PART TWO / PART THREE / PART FOUR/PART FIVE / PART SIX / PART SEVEN / PART EIGHT / PART NINE

It felt like there was pure electricity in your veins. Every inch of you buzzed and hummed with a new sense of life. After Saturday, after you told Peter how you felt about him, your whole body thrummed in some Spring-like symphony. You barely registered Sunday when the Sun knocked on your windowsill. 

You only got out of bed when your phone chirped with a text alert. In a flash, your covers were thrown to the side and your cold feet hit the floor in a matter of seconds. Your phone was charging on your dresser, it’s screen illuminated and reflected in the small mirror of your vanity. The sight of yourself, oddly, made you smile. Your lips were stuck in a smile, as they had been the moment Peter grabbed your hand. Silently you hoped that you would see yourself smile more. 

Your phone chimed once more, ever impatient when it came to your attention. Although, you the alert that greeted you sent a flurry of all sorts of insects a buzz inside your stomach.

PETER: mornin :)

YOU: good morning

PETER: i told May about shopping

PETER: but she has a shift tonight so she cant 

YOU: Oh, okay. 

PETER: she can do Monday after school but we dont have to wait

You bit the inside of your cheek in a poor attempt at suppressing a grin. Eager to reply, your thumbs hovered over the keyboard of the texting app as you thought of your answer. Peter added to his last message both you could reply.

PETER: i mean it we would be getting to it late so the dresses and stuff might not be cool

PETER: but you would make any dress look cool

PETER: pretty, i mean.

PETER: sorry

PETER: i’m screwing this up

You beamed at the series of texts and shook your head. As you typed out a reply, you rocked back on forth on the heels, too happy to keep still.

YOU: You’re not screwing anything up, Pete. You’re being endearing

You waited for a beat and when Peter didn’t reply you wrote out another message.

YOU: It’s sweet and very cute 

PETER: cute?

YOU: Yes, cute. :)

PETER: your cute too

YOU: You mean *you’re and thanks Pete

A laugh slipped past your lips. Loud giggling was a sound so foreign to you it sounded fake as your laugh echoed within the walls of your room.

PETER: wow ok i see how it is

PETER: call me cute then insult my grammar

YOU: Maybe…. :) and I don’t mind waiting until Monday. I could use May’s help with finding a dress.

PETER: your mom still isn’t home?

You felt your smile fall flat, but not entirely give into a frown. You had been so consumed with what had happened the night before you hadn’t been paying attention. During the night, you thought you heard a door slam but your mind was so lost in some fantasy you felt you had imagined it. Even if your mother was home, dress shopping would not be on top of her to-do list.

YOU: No. But May is more fashionable anyway.

PETER: ok, she’ll be happy to hear that 

PETER: i gotta run, see you tomorrow?

YOU: Yes, you’ll see me tomorrow. We have school.

PETER: oh yeah :)

YOU: Go you goof 

You set your phone back on the top of the dresser and left it to charge as you padded out of your bedroom. The apartment held a chill trapped in the air. One so strong you shivered and wished you had snagged your sweatshirt for the trip to the kitchen. Dirty dishes piled up in the sink, some bowls tucked in on the top looked freshly used. The next step you took creaked and a shuffling sound to your left made you jump.

On the couch, the crumpled form of your father laid on his side. One arm was completely extended, flailing off the edge of the cushions entirely. His mouth was pressed in a line and even in sleep, his jaw moved, tensed, working through some stress that haunted his dreams. Your mother was nowhere in sight. She hadn’t been for three years.

The euphoria that Peter’s texts had given curved down, off the high. You had been pitched off a cliff and back into reality. A reality where brilliant boys like Peter Parker did not mix with girls like you. Bravely, with Peter’s words repeated in your mind like a mantra, you pushed the doubt away. He wouldn’t care about your family, about their flaws; Peter accepted everyone, helped everyone. He would stick by you.

Quietly, you back over to the couch and plucked the blanket from off the back of it. With a tenderness you remembered from your childhood, you rested the thick blanket over your father's sleeping form.

“Sorr-ry…” he whispered, his body shuddering as he spoke. You pressed your lips together to keep from making a sound. Whatever dream he was having was not a good one. It felt more and more like worst fears and nightmares ran in the family.

You remembered times of his smiling face. Trips to the zoo to marvel at dozing lions and laugh at funny the penguins looked when they waddled. His smile had faded, alongside his presence after aliens fell from the sky and destroyed the home he had built for you and your mother. Now he worked day in and day out, with Sunday and Monday mornings off every other month to make sure you both had enough to eat. When you mother had left, he barely spoke. He wouldn’t smile anymore, ask you how your day was and that was all. It was like living with a ghost sometimes, a haunted, weary soul. 

Tiptoeing, you crept back down the hall and into your room. It was best to leave him to rest. Plus, you had studying to do. Your books laid on your small oak desk with book covers taunting you as you took a seat in your rickety desk chair. A sigh passed over your lips as you grabbed The Great Gatsby. Hopefully, you could stay focused and keep your thoughts about Monday at the side.

As you ducked into the books’ pages you realized, that would simply be impossible.

Sunday had dragged with little excitement. You had spent the day studying or trying to study at the very least. Too many ideas and hypothetical scenarios about Monday swirled about you, pestered you as you moved through the day. Your father had left for work soon after you had seen him. An all-day shift at a grocery store outside of Queens took him away and left you to your own devices. Although your mind was too lost in thought too much of anything productive.

Even as you eagerly tucked yourself into bed as the Sunday sunset, your brain still worked. You thought of Peter as you and May studied fictitious dresses. His lazy smile when he would see you in a dress for the first time. Would May be able to tell that you were both something more? Had Peter already told her? 

The steady flow of worrying questions turned into a somewhat tumultuous lullaby as you drifted in and out of sleep. A hybrid of dream and nightmare gave you what you wanted only to take it away. Peter’s face with a smile then a frown as his figure faded from your sleep-vision. Needless to say, sleep did not come easy. If it did, it didn’t stay long as you woke up a few times during the night.

When you woke for the last time, with the sound of your alarm ringing in your ears. Like a ghost, the shrill haunted you as you got ready for the day. Your walk to school was one of belly aching excitements. You were going to see Peter after you told him that you liked him. He liked you too. It all felt like a dream, some horrible trick; but it was real. 

It was as real as Peter as he leaned against the lockers near your own. His lips were pressed in a line, brown eyes searching the faces of all who passed by. Peter was looking for you. The smile that spread across your features must have acted as some sort of beacon or maybe your heart was hammering louder than you thought because Peter met your gaze in an instant. A soft smile and the scent of Peter’s cologne greeted you as you walked to your locker.

“Hi,” he breathed out as if the word had been waiting for its appearance as well as your own. You felt heat rush up your neck and curl like wisps of smoke in your cheeks.

“Hi,” you returned, “you waited?” Peter’s expression shifted from relaxed to shuffling and stuttering. His arms crossed and uncrossed in record time. 

“I did but I...if you don’t like it...I thought it would be nice.” Pink kissed the tips of his ears and you smiled at the sight.

“It is nice.” You lifted a hand and brushed it against his arm. The touch shocked you, literally and metaphorically. A zap of static zipped up your fingers and you felt your heart melted into a puddle of a surprise when Peter leaned into the touch.

“Ok, I’ll do it again then,” Peter said with a calm smile on his face. You nodded before you turned your attention to the lock. As you entered your combination, Peter pressed the side of his head against the neighboring locker. When you snuck a glance at him, you saw that he was already staring at you.

“Hi,” you murmured again in the hopes of deterring your growing bashfulness

“Hi,” he repeated and you let out a shy giggle. “Oh, and should we meet here after school?”

“We can, yeah,” you said as you opened your locker. You plucked your math textbook from the dark depths before you shut the metal door with a clang. Peter’s brown eyes studied your face and you gave him a soft smile. “What?”

“Is it weird now?”

“What is it?”

“Us,” Peter admitted. “I mean, I like you and you like me so it’s not weird but it kind of feels that way, right? Maybe it’s just ‘cause I haven’t-”

“Pete,” you rested a hand on his cheek, something you had wanted to do since you realized you had feelings for him. “It’s not weird, you’re being weird.” 

He let out a laugh and you grinned at the sound. “Am I?”

“No, but I get what you’re saying,” you let your hand fall from his cheek. While the action was new, it felt right; it felt natural. “But the circumstances were weird. It’s not every day a tutor and a tutee gets together.”

“Tutee?” Peter raised a brow at you with a grin splayed out on his features.

“The person being tutored,” you explained. You paused before sighing, “you think it’s a funny word.”

“I don’t think it is a word,” Peter said through a laugh. 

“Well...it is now,” you took a step away from your locker and out into the current of the hallway. Students marched to and fro, getting ready for first period as the clock ticked down the seconds. 

“Y/N, what about proper grammar conventions?” Peter teased as he fell into step at your side. You let out a huff but your amusement was clear on your face. 

“Maybe this was a mistake,” you pondered aloud and you heard Peter stifle a laugh. 

“Our mistake, though. A good mistake.” As Peter spoke, his knuckles brushed against yours. The entire world melted away until all that remained was you and Peter. Your fingers splayed and reached for his. When you pinkie knocked against his, you curled yours around it. 

You heard Peter hum something but you were too lost in this new reality to totally hear it. Mindlessly, your feet carried you through the hall with Peter at your side. He spoke up again but your world was still so fuzzy. You kept walking until you saw a figure sulking towards you and Peter, headed straight towards you.

“Y/N? Why is MJ looking at you like that?” Peter’s questions finally broke through as the rose-colored lenses lifted from your eyes. MJ’s dark eyes were glued on you as she pushed her way through the hallway. It didn’t look as if she were angry but slightly panicked. The mild annoyance in her face was always there. 

“I-I-”

“Y/N,” MJ stopped right in front of you and Peter. 

“Hi, MJ,” Peter chirped. She sent a look his way, something entirely unreadable. 

“Peter,” she turned her gaze back to you, “I ran into Flash.”

“Oh?” You furrowed your brows in confusion. However, your befuddlement did nothing to quell the sudden and furious storm of dread brewing in your stomach. Flash.

“He asked if I had seen you or if we had a class together.” You untangled Peter’s pinkie from your own and you felt the air drop around you.

“Why?”

“I don’t know, I just told him to shut up and he told me he had a surprise for you.”

“What does that mean?” Peter asked, cutting through the conversation. You looked at him and saw his jaw was tensed. Was he jealous? He turned his gaze to you and, instead of anger, you saw concern. “What does he mean?”

“I don’t kno-”

A high pitched whine pierced through the air, out from the intercoms that lines the walls of the hallway. Students stopped shuffling at the sound, waiting for whatever early-morning announcement couldn’t wait until school had actually begun. Crackling on the end of the microphone broke the whine and someone cleared their throat. 

“Midtown High, I have a special announcement from our very own Y/N L/N. You may think that aliens are the true villains or maybe that Spiderman is the true menace, but it seems Y/N has been the darkness in our midst all along.”

“Who is that?” Someone asked but you knew. It was Flash. Whatever voice modulator he was using could not hide the goblin quality of his voice from you. You glanced in the direction of the voice that asked the question and saw a few people from your history class. With widened eyes, they stared at you, waiting for whatever villainous message Flash had planned to share.

“What does that mean?” Peter’s voice pulled you back to yourself. You grabbed his hand and his brown eyes met your gaze. It hit you all at once. Flash was going to tell them about Peter, about how you both had schemed to ruin him.

“Peter, I have to tell you something,” you gushed. You had to beat Flash to it, tell your side of the story before he got the chance. “Before this, before I got to-”

“I..want Peter off the team ...I'm...using Peter. ...leave me alone...Peter ...entitled piece of shit.” Your voice with gravel quality rang out over the speaker, but it wasn’t your voice. It was too low, too edited and pieced together. It almost sounded mechanic but the words spoken were your own. Your stomach dropped. The phone call on Saturday, Flash’s threat….

A profound silence filled the hallway as the speaker cut off. An echo, your own heartbeat pounded in your ears. With a simple audio trick, Flash had ripped a hole in the hope you had built for yourself. You felt your limbs grow cold and numb with the realization. The whole school had heard.

“Y/N, “Why didn’t you tell me?” Peter’s voice broke the glass that had gathered around you and the vacuum of silence stopped whirring in your ears. The happiness you had held, in the shape of Peter’s hand, slipped from your grasp. His brown eyes were squinted but it didn’t stop the welling tears as they threatened to spill over. “Y/N?”

“I…” You took a step back away from Peter. His brows were knitted together in confusion and you felt bile rise up in your throat.

“Y/N, is this...did you...a lie?”

“N-No, Peter, it’s not...it’s not like that.”

“But it was? This whole time?” His voice cracked and you imagined it was nothing compared to the shattered pieces of his heart.

“No…” you whimpered, your voice failing you. “No, Pete it…” Eyes. All the eyes in the vicinity were glued on you and Peter. The Shakespearean drama unfolding in the middle of the hallway had captured everyone’s attention. Your throat was closing with panic, making so you could only choke out the next few words. “I-I’m sorry.”

You turned around and ran down the hall, as far away as you could from Peter Parker.

 Your feet carried you out of the school, wove through the crowd amassing at the entrance as the bell rang. By the time you made it down the block, your chest was heaving. You hadn’t run that fast in a long time and it didn’t help that a series of silent sobs racked your form. To catch your breath, you slumped against a brick wall of a storefront for support. People, much too busy to wonder what you were doing out of school, passed you by with cups of coffee clutched tightly in their hands. 

You looked up from the passersby and across the street. The slightly yellowed lights of the coffee shop’s interior shown through the front window. The tables lining the windowsill were empty, letting the glow shine out in the still brightening sky. Golden edges of the horizon stood out against the dark blue of morning. 

A sudden hunger overwhelmed with sharp stomach pain. You hadn’t eaten breakfast, too eager to see Peter to spend a minute longer in your apartment. Now, you felt too nauseous to eat despite the pang of hunger. What you wanted was a place to be alone.

You crossed the way, barely caring to look either way down the street. A car honked as you darted along the road but you were too consumed with wiping the evidence of tears off of your face. When you felt satisfied with your effort, you pulled open the door of the coffee shop. The heat of brewing javas and the smell of freshly baked cookies welcomed you with a warmth that, in the present moment, you felt you didn’t deserve.

“Hey, you! My favorite customer!” A soft voice greeted you from behind the counter although, at first glance, you didn’t recognize the face accompanying it. At least not the hair. “Oh, yeah, changed it up a little,” the perky barista explained as she pinched a few strands of her now blue hair between her fingers. “Got tired of the pink.”

“It looks nice,” you sniffle as you speak, eyes glancing over the menu. “Any new teas?”

“We have a cinnamon apple tea,” she said with a smile, “it’s like apple cider but not as tart, ya know.” You nodded and gave her a half-hearted smile. She returned the expression, mirrored the sadness that you knew was much too readable in your red-rimmed eyes.

“I’ll take one of those then.” You sniffled again as you pulled out a few dollar bills to pay. The brightly colored barista hit a few buttons on the cash register and recited the order. 

“So one apple cinnamon tea and one fresh snickerdoodle cookie,” she said pleased. She looked up at you with a smile, even as your eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“I didn’t order a-”

“You look like you need one,” she said and tipped her head at your eyes. She handed you a tissue from the counter, “and it’s on the house. Don’t worry about it.”

“Thank you, I don’t know what to say,” you gushed, overwhelmed by the kindness. You were only used to Peter being so kind. When the rest of your life had been lonely it felt like every good thing someone did for you was a treasure.

“You don’t have to say a thing. It’ll be right out.”

It felt like a mere few minutes had passed before a warm cup of tea and baked cookie were in your hands. With another series of ‘thank yous’ said to the barista, you made your way to the table tucked in the far corner. As you waited for your tea to cool down enough to drink, you picked at the snickerdoodle. You broke off pieces of it to eat, weary that if you ate it too fast it might not stay down. 

When you had worked through half of the delicious snack, you looked up. The empty seat across from you seemed to echo. If you listened hard enough, strained your ears to the point of lightheadedness, you could almost hear Peter’s laugh. It was the same laugh that he showed whenever you made an inadvertent joke or mocked the sentence structure of a decathlon practice question. That laugh was not the same as the little chuckle Peter gave you when you teased him. 

Part of you cringed at the thought. There had been a point where you had meant the words you teased him with. At some point, you had told yourself you hated Peter. How could you have done that without knowing him? Had you jealousy been that deep?

Obviously it had been, you thought to yourself bitterly. You had willing teamed up with Flash, that was how deeply your envy had been. Now, through some twisted sense of fate and Peter’s charm, all you felt was shame. Shame and sadness seemed to come hand-in-hand. With the regret came tears, tears that cascaded down your cheeks and on the napkin placed before you. 

You wanted to blame it all on Flash. He had turned green with envy whereas you had grown. Grown to like Peter, more than you ever thought was possible. Flash had ruined it, manipulated words, the only tool you had and made sure he was right in the end: Peter wouldn’t sick with you now. Only the pain in his face as your voice, but not truly yourself, spoke over the speakers and told a stale truth.

Your heart began to pound as reality set in fully. Nothing would be the same now. Whatever you and Peter had started, shared with each other, would flatline. There was no longer a pulse left in that relationship and it was your fault. All you could do was apologize, try to tell him how things had changed when you got to know him better. 

Deep in your heart, you felt like you need Peter. Through him, through learning about him you learned more about yourself. Through liking him, you learned to like yourself. Now it felt like you were free-falling. The foothold Peter had made for you both had broken under the weight of past mistakes. You couldn’t fix it, so you would have to learn to be okay on your own.

And the coffee shop didn’t feel like the right place to start. Too many memories of Peter haunted the place, times when you felt like the best person you could be. You needed to tap into that person, that version of you, without the ghost of Peter helping you. You needed to be with yourself. 

So, after you finished your cookie and tea, you thanked the barista one last time. It was noon by the time you had felt, time seemed to have sped up in your panicked state. With traffic somewhat calmed, you were able to cross the street without cars honking in distress this time. The path your house was peppered with browned leaves carried in on the breeze. Autumn’s end was near, sharp and sudden as the end of bare branches. 

It would have surprised you if snow were to fall as you unlocked the gate to your apartment building. Instead of thinking about how you and Peter had said a heartfelt ‘goodbye’ in the spot you stood in just a few days ago, you thought about the impending Winter. Maybe you could convince your parents to go to your cousin’s place for the holiday season so you weren’t locked away in your room like last Winter break. It would be an unexpected trip but you couldn’t stand the thought of being home alone for two weeks.

What was also unexpected was the sight of your father when you opened the door to the apartment. He looked just as tired as he did Sunday, but he was cleaning the kitchen. Cleared plates and shining utensils were sat out on the drying rack. When you the door closed behind you, your father looked up. 

“School?”

“I-I…” your stomach twisted, “I wasn’t feeling well. Can you...you call me in sick?” Your father’s brows scrunched together but he nodded nonetheless. 

“Y-Yeah, you...you alright?” There was a softness in his voice, the type of concern a father should have for his daughter. How long had it been since you had heard him speak like that? He had been gone off on work trips, struggling to make ends meet and all the while hoping that your mother would come back. Yet, it seemed, he had a bit of softness saved for you. And that broke your heart. 

“N-No….” Tears fell from your eyes before you had the chance to stop them. They blurred your vision until the home you had known for the past seven years was turned into muddled shapes. You relied solely on sound. So when, instead of asking about what had happened, you heard the footsteps of your father’s work boots against the floorboards, you were shocked. More so when two warm arms wrapped around you and your backpack to pull you to his chest.

Sobs racked your frame, so loud that your cries seemed to echo through the apartment. Despite the sound, you heard your father’s voice. “I wish I could fix it.”

“Y-you can’t,” you hiccuped. You felt his arms tighten around you as if holding you together was all he could do. In that moment, it was all you needed.

You didn’t remember falling asleep or how you got in bed in the first place. The note on your nightstand scrawled out in rough script from your father told you what you needed to know.

Called into the school. You should get some rest, honey. Feel better.

-Dad 

You set the note back down and sat back up against your headboard. Fresh from sleep, your eyes were still clouded lost in the haze of slumber that called out to you to return. The moment the darkness behind your eyelids welcomed you back, an image of Peter smiling entered your mind’s eye. Crinkles by his eyes and the wide grin made your heartache.

Your eyes flew open and you scrambled to your nightstand again. In a mad, groggy search, you looked for your phone. Your fingertips traced the smoothed wood of the side table and found no trace of it. With a sudden rush of mild panic, you got up from your bed. The fabric of your worn, blue backpack poked out from under your desk chair. 

With the knowledge it was the last place you had it and pure hope, you kneeled in front of your bag and rummaged through the pockets. Your hands brushed against folders and paper in your quest. The familiar feeling of earbud wires tangled between your fingers gave you a rush of relief. Pulling gently on the wires, you lifted it out of your backpack. Still plugged into the port, your earbuds suspended your phone before your eyes. 

“Shit,” you whispered to yourself as you unplugged your earbuds. The screen of your phone illuminated with text notifications. One from MJ asked where you had gone while the message from her gave you details on what you missed during English class. You had even received a message from Ned who, after telling you that it was him, told you that he hadn’t seen Peter and that he had heard about what had happened. There was nothing from Peter himself.

You finally unlocked your phone and scrolled through your contacts. It didn’t take long until you found Peter’s name littered among those of people you no longer spoke to. His contact picture was an open book, a picture you had taken during a tutoring session instead of asking for one from him. Now, looking at it, you wished you had. 

Without wasting another moment on regret you hit the dial button and pressed your phone to your ear. The dull, repetitive ringing had you biting on the inside of your cheek nervously. Pick up, please, please pick up.

“Hi, it’s Peter….” His voice, animated, almost happy, answered a twisted sense of happiness flooded through you, even if it was short-lived. You had to tell him you were sorry. 

“Pete, it’s me. I-I-”

“And I can’t get to the phone right now because uh...I’m busy? I guess? You can leave a message though. I don’t really know what else to-” A loud ‘beep’ stopped the automated message. Tears welled in your eyes at the sound before you found the courage to speak up.

“I know I’m the last person you want to hear from but I need to talk to you. I need to explain so you don’t think…” you paused and sighed. You should have written it down, planned out what you were going to say. It was too late now. “I’m sorry, Pete. You know I’m not...I’m not the best person, I sure wasn’t before we started talking. But with you, I feel like I can be a better person. I hope...I hope you can see that. I’m sorry.”

Your phone fell away from your ear as you pressed the ‘hang up’ button displayed on the screen. As you did, another text alert popped up. The number matched Ned’s and you tapped the notification. 

NED: um, I don’t want to worry you or stress you out more than you probably already are but I still can’t find Peter. 

NED: he normally tells me when he’s gonna go out but he didn’t and May doesn’t know where he is either. have you heard from him?

YOU: I gave him a call. He didn’t answer. 

NED: okay, thanks. 

NED: and, Y/N, don’t worry, he’ll come around.

You didn’t have the strength to thank Ned or ask how he even got your number. Instead, you peeked into your backpack again to find a notebook and a pen. Peter was gone, probably angry and upset. The thought filled you with worry.

 Your eyelids grew heavy at you wrote out four simple words. On shaking legs, you stood from your spot and strode over to the window of your bedroom. Carefully, you leaned the notebook against the glass so it could easily be seen:

Spiderman, I need you.

Bitterly pleased with your handy work, you strode over to you bed and collapsed once more.

The light tapping of rain against your window slowly coaxed you from your slumber. Slowly, you sat up from your bed and hit the button on your phone to catch the time. It was ten o'clock at night meaning the dance tomorrow was merely sixteen hours away. The calculations in your head made you feel sick with dread and sleep. 

The steady tap against your window pulled you out of your own mind. In the small second of peace, you let your thoughts drift again. That was, until, the pattering at your wind intensified. You shot up from your bed and you feet hit the floor. Blindly, you swung your hand towards the lamp on your nightstand and flicked it on.

Two white eyes of a familiar red mask came into the light. A gloved hand waved on the other side of the glass as you threw yourself off of your bed. Your bare feet padded against the carpet of your bedroom floor as you neared the window. You weren’t entirely sure if your lack of pure shock was from the lingering haze of sleep or the fact you had seen Spiderman before. There wasn’t much thought to give it before you opened the window. 

“You got my message,” you whisper as you poke you head out of your window. Your teeth clattered as a gust of night air swirled into your room. “Are you cold?”

“I, no, I’m okay. You’re lucky I was swinging around.” He said, his voice not as low as the last time you saw him. Something about the pitch was familiar, so familiar in fact it gave you goosebumps. Or was that just the cold?

Now was not the time to dwell. “I….I need help...”

The blank eyes of the mask stared at you in wait. Quiet oozed between you and you remember Spiderman being more talkative before. More confident, even. Perhaps it had been an off day for him too.

“His name is Peter, Peter Parker, you might know him. He works with Iron Man and he...I messed up. I don’t know where he is he won’t answer his calls and his friends can’t reach him either. Can you...do you find people?”

“That’s more of a Jessica Jones’ thing.” Your brows furrowed at the snappy tone and you opened your mouth slightly in shock. 

“But can you help?”

“Why do you want to find him?”

“Because he’s missing!” You yell in a whisper. You threw your arms up in the air but Spiderman only cocked his head to the side like a confused puppy. Or perhaps a dog too wise for his own good.

“Just because of that?” Angry bubbled up inside you, spread flames from your stomach up to your chest; but your resolve turned to ash in your mouth. All you wanted was to know Peter was okay. 

“I...I need to tell him that I’m sorry, that I-I...” The words got caught in your throat. Why were you telling a total stranger about this? A masked stranger at that. You were desperate...that was why.

“Tell him what?”

“That what I did, what I wanted, it’s different now.” Spiderman fell quiet and you felt it was due to the lack of context. But you were too tired to explain so you continued. “ I need to tell him that...well the voicemail I left him already covers most of it…”

“So he’ll call you back when he’s ready.” The superhero’s curtness was not something you had expected. Yet, despite the tone, you knew he was right. Peter would speak up when he was ready. There was no point in worrying until then. If he truly went missing, you were sure you would have felt it. With all that had happened, Peter probably ran off as you had.

“Yeah, sorry for bothering you. You’re probably busy.” Spiderman only nodded in reply and got up from his crouched position. As quiet as a shadow, you watched as he leaped on the fire escape railing and readied to jump off. When he lingered, you quirked a brow at him. Almost as if he sensed your change in expression, he craned his neck to look back at you. 

“Do you...do you care about him?”

“Yes,” you said without missing a beat. “More than anything. He’s my closest friend and I….” The words teetered on the tip of your tongue but you bit them back. If you went too far you could never make it back. Spiderman nodded; sometimes there was no need for words to explain the most complex of feelings. All you had to do was look at someone’s face and just know.

“Then you can trust him to come around, Y/N.” With that, Spiderman lept and webbed away in a matter of a few seconds. You watched as the bright reds and blues of his suit faded into the haze of the light-polluted city. With your chin balanced on your elbow, you rested your head against the frame of the window. The white paint of its surface was chipped and had flaked off due to weathering over the years. 

You too had lost parts of yourself as you had gotten older. Childhood memories felt more like an old movie now, one that you used to know the lines to but had since forgotten. When Peter asked you to tutor him, unknowingly, he had given you a chance at a starring role in a movie that promised a happy ending. So why did it feel like the reel had been cut short?

[froggy-beans]

I Remember You for the 2019 Irondad Fic Exchange

This piece was written for @imgoingtocrash with the prompts Peter Parker is Tony Stark’s Biological Child and Amensia. I love your blog and your writing and I hope you enjoy this piece :)

| 1/1 Chapters | 4,755 Words | General Audiences | No Archive Warnings Apply |

Summary: There was no reason the experiment should have gone wrong. FRIDAY ran countless simulations, each one giving good results. And yet, it does, leaving the Stark family to suffer the consequences.Prompts: Peter Parker is Tony Stark's biological son and Amnesia

link to ao3

Peter’s head pounded with the heart rate monitor, each spike a pulse of pain. The headache was nothing compared to the burns on his arms, and even that was nothing compared to the pain in his heart.

“You ready, kiddo?” His dad asked, smiling. They were working on new Spider-Man technology, Peter’s favourite thing. Except working on the Iron Man armor, of course.

Peter watched the shallow rise and fall of his dad’s chest to reaffirm the idea that he was still alive. After the accident he wasn’t sure.

“Yeah. Did FRIDAY run the final simulation?” Peter responded. His dad nodded.

The accident that was his fault.

“I hope this works,” Tony said, helping Peter set up the experiment.

Everything had been going fine until the last step.

“Can you hand me that?” Tony gestured towards a beaker on the edge of the table. Peter handed to him, careful not to drop it. While the chemical wasn’t dangerous on its own, he certainly didn’t want to risk anything. Just as Tony went to mix the chemicals, Peter felt a pit open up in his stomach.

And then it went to hell.

A loud bang echoed on the walls, deafening the pair of them. All Peter saw was a bright flash before blinding pain erupted in his hands, his arms, his torso. He fell backwards, knocking over a table on his way down. Before he truly knew what was happening the alarm started blaring and water poured from the sprinklers in the ceiling.

Peter sat up, ignoring the pain, and looked around frantically. He saw his dad on the ground several feet away. Unlike Peter, he didn’t appear to be awake. The skin on his hands was red.

Later, Peter would learn that it was from burns, not blood. Not that that was better by any stretch of the imagination.

Peter called out to him. No response. He tried again, this time forcing himself to his hands and knees. He slowly crawled over to his dad, careful to avoid the still-smoking remains of a lab coat.

“Dad?” Peter shook Tony’s arm, already crying at the pain in his own. He tried again before someone was dragging him out of the lab. He wanted to struggle, to go back and make sure Tony was okay, but he was frozen. Even the words had trouble forming.

“Please—don’t—I – he –“

“We’ve got him, okay? We’ve got him.” Replied the person who was carrying him. Peter wondered how he could sound so calm when everything was so clearly not okay.

That was twelve hours ago. Since then Peter had passed out, woken up covered in bandages, and moved from his own spot in the medbay to an uncomfortable plastic chair next to Tony. He wondered why they didn’t have better ones. Pepper had visited him a couple hours before to bring him lunch, but Peter left it untouched on the end table. The guilt in his stomach didn’t leave room for anything else. I knew something was wrong. If I had just said something--

He pretended not to see the sad look she gave him as she left, but it still made him feel worse. The security system in the lab was damaged during the explosion, so they couldn’t look at footage of what happened, but Peter knew she wouldn’t feel bad for him if she ever did see it. Then she, and the rest of the world, would know that the explosion was Peter’s fault. He could have stopped it if he’d said something when his spider-sense went off

They would know, and they would probably hate him. Peter tried to push that thought away—there were more pressing things to worry about— but it was never far. He attempted to distract himself by texting Ned until he realized his phone was destroyed by the accident too. So, instead he talked to the one person he desperately wanted to seek comfort from, even though he couldn’t hear him.

“I’m sorry, dad,” Peter whispered softly.

Peter woke from a fitful sleep around three a.m. He was in his own bed, courtesy of Pepper, and nearly had a heart attack when FRIDAY started talking.

“Sorry to have woken you, Peter, but Pepper has requested your presence in the medbay. She says its urgent.”

“Did something happen?” He asked nervously, fearing the worst. His heart was already racing before he heard the reply.

“Dr. Cho will explain when you arrive.” FRIDAY answered cryptically. The reply (somehow) made Peter more jittery than he already had been. He carelessly tossed the covers onto the floor as he jumped out of bed to run downstairs. He took the stairs instead of the elevator, glad that it was the middle of the night. There were no Stark Industries employees to run into that way.

Dr. Cho waited for Peter just outside the door to Tony’s room. She appeared tired, but still as professional as ever with a clipboard in hand. Upon hearing Peter’s footsteps, she looked up from the charts with an apologetic look. She barely had a chance to explain before Peter started asking all manner of questions, all of them some variation of “Is he okay?”

“Yes, he’s stable, at least. He woke up around twenty minutes ago, Pepper is in there with him now, but there’s something you have to understand before you go in. He appears to be suffering from retrograde amnesia. Do you know what that is?”

Peter shook his head and nervously toyed with the hem of his t-shirt.

“It means that his ability to make memories hasn’t been altered, but he can’t access past memories. We’re optimistic that he’ll make a full recovery soon, but until then, he won’t remember you.”

Peter understood what she meant, but the words must not have stuck, because it still tore his heart in two when he walked in the room and his father looked at him like a stranger. Peter stood in the doorway as if his feet were glued to the floor. He could only watch as Pepper leaned towards Tony and explained who he was.

Pepper beckoned him closer and gestured for him to sit beside her on the edge of the mattress. “How did you sleep, sweetie?”

“Not very well.” Peter answered, looking anywhere but Tony. He didn’t want to see the bandages that were there because of him or the bruises that were there because of him and he definitely didn’t want to see the confusion that was there because of him. This is all your fault.

“Sorry to wake you early, then, but I figured you would be more upset if I hadn’t.” Pepper said. Peter wondered if he truly would have been more upset if she hadn’t woken him up until later. He already felt like shit anyway, so it probably didn’t matter.

“It’s okay. I was awake when FRIDAY called me anyways.” Tony looked confused at the mention of the AI, but he didn’t say anything. Peter felt another twang of guilt.

Pepper only nodded. Neither Peter nor Tony knew what to do. Peter could feel his dad’s eyes burning a hole in the side of his head as he stared out the room’s only window. There wasn’t much to look at other than the dark sky, but thanks to his spider powers, he could hear the traffic in the city below them while he once again played with the hem of his shirt.

After several minutes of the painfully tangible tension Pepper excused herself by claiming she forgot something she needed upstairs. Peter watched her go warily. He suddenly didn’t know how to act around the only constant figure in his life. He desperately wanted the comfort that only his father could give him but couldn’t shake the feeling that he didn’t deserve it. As soon as the door shut behind Pepper the tears started flowing.

“I’m sorry,” Peter sobbed. “I should have done something—”

“What could you have done?” The words were sharper than Tony intended them to be. He wasn’t sure how to comfort this kid that he was told was his but didn’t recognize. He only knew his name and relation because Pepper had informed him before fetching Peter, hoping to soften the blow even just the slightest. It hadn’t worked.

“I don’t know. Something. Anything. I’m the one who has super healing, I should have taken more of the blast.” Peter rambled. He tried to look anywhere but at his father. This time Tony’s words were softer, closer to the way they normally were but still unusually harsh.

“There isn’t anything you could have done. We won’t know what really happened until the fire marshal gives us his report.”

Peter flinched at Tony’s tone. He’d heard his dad talk like that many times, sure, but never to him. That voice was reserved for board rooms and SHIELD agents. That voice was reserved for people Tony didn’t know. Tony sighed, leaning his head back against the pillow.

“Look, kid, I’m sorry. I’m not trying to take this out on you. I don’t know anyone who’s come in this room today even though you all very clearly know me. And I know it hurting all of you, but I don’t know how to fix it.”

“I know.” Peter said, finally looking at his dad. “Dr. Cho said there isn’t much we can do but let the memories come back naturally. I don’t want to make you feel bad about it, but I cant pretend that it doesn’t hurt. You’re the only person who’s been there for me my whole life. It’s hard to feel like a stranger.”

Tony looked sadly at the kid (his kid, he reminded himself) sitting at the edge of the bed. He looked much younger than Pepper had said he was. His small frame was practically swimming in the red sweatshirt he was wearing. They could certainly afford clothing that was the right size, so where had he gotten it?

“Where is the sweatshirt from?” He asked. Peter looked at what he was wearing like he too was only noticing it for the first time and shrugged.

“It’s yours. From college.”

“Oh.”

“You went to MIT. Graduated summa cum laude in engineering. Not that you graduating top of your class was surprising.” Peter allowed a small smile with the last sentence as if it was some sort of inside joke. Maybe it was, Tony wouldn’t know. “Uncle Rhodey—your best friend—went there, too. It’s where you met.”

“Is Rhodey short for something?” Tony couldn’t imagine that was his real name. Peter nodded.

“James Rhodes. He doesn’t like being called that, though. I’m sure he’ll be by later this morning to visit. He was in Washington for a conference, but Pepper called him after the—uh—the incident.”

“Is there anything else I should know about him before he comes?”

“You call him honey bear a lot, too. He’s a colonel in the military, and an Avenger. War Machine, actually. The government tried to change his name to Iron Patriot but it’s not anywhere near as cool.”

Peter yawned, the events of the last sixteen hours weighing on his shoulders like a ton of bricks. Even though Tony would rather keep talking, keep trying to learn about his life and maybe jog his memory, he sent him to bed. Pepper said she wouldn’t mind filling him in on what he needed to know, and supposedly FRIDAY would be able to do the same.

Peter didn’t protest, welcoming the invitation to sleep. He hadn’t been able to earlier, tossing and turning nervously, but now he could barely keep his eyes open. There was nothing he wanted to do more than crawl into bed and bury his emotions in a heap of blankets. Peter nearly fell asleep in the elevator on the way to the penthouse. Pepper was waiting for him on the other side. When she asked if he needed anything, Peter shook his head and made his way down the hall to his bedroom.

Sleep brought relief. Much needed sweet relief.

Tony, however, wasn’t so lucky. Sleep eluded him as the sun rose. He filled the time by asking FRIDAY (who he thought was fucking cool and also a little weird) questions.

“What does Pepper do? Like as a job, I mean.” He asked. FRIDAY had answered all his questions diligently and patiently. It was easier to ask her. She couldn’t be hurt by too-harsh words and empty gazes.

“She is the CEO of your company, Stark Industries.”

“I own a company?”

“Yes, sir. Stark Industries was founded by your father Howard Stark in 1940. It was primarily a weapons and tech company until you shut down the weapons division in 2008. Now the main focus is on medical research and technology development.”

“What more can you tell me about Howard Stark?”

“Howard Stark was born 15 August 1917 in Richford, New York. He worked with the U.S. military during World War II and founded Stark Industries before being briefly on the run from the government, primary the SSR for supposed war crimes. He became one of the founding members of SHIELD. He died in 1991 as the result of a car crash. His wife and your mother, Maria Stark, was also killed in the crash.”

"And what about Maria Stark?”

“Maria Stark was born Maria Carbonell in Southampton, New York to a wealthy family and became a philanthropist as well as a socialite. She married Howard Stark before having you on 29 May 1970. Died 16 December 1991.”

“What is SHIELD?”

“SHIELD, or Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division, is a government organization that focuses on espionage, law enforcement, and counter terrorism tactics. You are a member of one of their programs called the Avengers Initiative.”

FRIDAY continued without Tony even having to ask, already anticipating what he would want to know. Pepper told him that he designed FRIDAY, and maybe it was odd, but he felt a strange sense of pride at programming her so well.

“The Avengers Initiative was designed to bring together the best and most able people Earth has to offer. Their job is to defend Earth from threats, terrestrial and extraterrestrial, that are beyond the capabilities of conventional military to handle. You are one of the original six members and go by the title Iron Man.”

“Original six? How many are there now?”

“There are thirteen active members, including your son Peter.”

“I let my son be an Avenger? Is there something wrong with me?” Tony was shocked. He may not know very much right now, but it certainly seemed wrong that he let his son be a part of something so dangerous. Maybe I should fix that.

“What does he do?”

“Peter, also known as Spider-Man, does not participate in the larger scale battles. He spends most of his time on patrols in New York City, stopping small crime and helping out the little guy. For example, on his last patrol, he helped an old lady get her cat out of a tree.”

Tony couldn’t help but laugh at the last part. He could feel a memory poking at the edge of his mind, just far enough away that he couldn’t reach it. It frustrated him to no end. Dr. Cho had told him that he couldn’t force it, he had to let the memories come back naturally, but it was difficult. Tony just wanted to remember. He didn’t want to hurt everyone else, especially after making Peter cry. He didn’t want to ever do that again.

“Tell me about him.”

“Peter’s full name is Peter Anthony Stark and he was born on 10 August 2001. His mother, Mary Fitzpatrick, granted you full custody after deciding her career was hardly conducive to raising a child. Peter currently attends Midtown Science and Tech, where he maintains a 4.0 GPA and is also a member of the Academic Decathlon team. Would you like to know more?”

“Yes,” Tony answered.

“His favorite movies are the Star Wars films, and he prefers to watch them in release order instead of chronological order. He believed the experience is more authentic that way. His best friend is another student at Midtown named Ned Leeds and his favorite color is red.”

Just as FRIDAY finished talking Tony heard footsteps in the hallway outside his room. He quickly thanked FRIDAY for her help.

“That’s what I’m here for, sir.” FRIDAY replied.

Tony was released from the med bay later that day, just in time for dinner. Pepper was the one to make sure that he didn’t end up on the wrong floor. FRIDAY could have done the job just as well, but Pepper didn’t want him to feel more disconnected than he probably already did.

"Dinner is ready if you’d like to eat now,” Pepper said once they were in the elevator. The awkward silence was practically tangible in the small space with neither of them quite sure how act around the other.

Tony nodded. Even in Avengers Tower the hospital food wasn’t great, and he hadn’t eaten since he’d woken up somewhere around two thirty that morning. They reached the penthouse quickly, opening the door to Peter setting the table. Peter turned around when he heard them and greeted them with a smile that didn’t reach his eyes.

Tony returned the smile, the gesture unfamiliar to him. If it came out more like a grimace, nobody said anything to him about it. Pepper did her best to keep the conversation going during dinner but had to leave the room halfway through to answer a call from the fire department regarding the lab incident.

“The fire marshal thinks he figured out what caused the explosion,” Pepper said when she came back into the room. Peter looked up at her expectantly. “He said that the chemicals you two were using were mislabeled, and the ones you happened to mix had a volatile reaction.”

“Who would have labelled them wrong? I thought we were the only ones allowed in that lab. FRIDAY would never let anyone else in.” Peter looked to Pepper for an answer, but she shrugged her shoulders.

“We’ll have to check the security tapes. Is it possible that the interns labelled them? I know Tony has them help with some of the bigger organization projects. FRIDAY, can you work on that for me?”

“Of course,” Came FRIDAY’s quick answer. Peter felt a surge of anger. What if someone had done this on purpose? What if his dad never got his memory back and it was all because of some intern?

Peter, Tony, and Pepper were all sitting in an examination room on the medical floor. A week had passed since the explosion and Dr. Cho wanted to check up on their burns as well as Tony’s amnesia. There wasn’t much to check on Peter because of his super healing, but she still felt it necessary.

Cho walked in not long after everyone else, as serious as ever. She wasted no time in checking Peter and Tony’s various burns and bruises before moving on to the more pressing issue.

“Have you been able to recall anything, even something small?” Cho asked. Tony shook his head.

“Any headaches?”

“Not really. I had one two days ago, but it wasn’t a bad one.”

Cho nodded and checked some things off on a chart. Once her questions were finished, she took Tony for an MRI, leaving Pepper and Peter to their own devices for the time being. They avoided the elephant in the room, choosing to talk about things like the tv show they’d been watching that week.

“I found the weirdest thing ever on Netflix last night. It’s only like twelve minutes long, but its about this sheep that lives on this island in the middle of nowhere—”

Peter was cut off by the door opening and his dad and Cho coming back in. Tony took a seat beside Peter and stared towards the ground. Cho cleared her throat before speaking.

“I have some less-than-great news. While it seems that Tony’s burns and bruises are healing correctly, his brain doesn’t show many signs of recovery. That isn’t to say that it isn’t possible for him to get his memory back, but it does mean that the longer he doesn’t the less likely it is that he will.”

“Is there anything we can do?” Pepper asked, concerned. Cho informed them that there wasn’t much they could do other than wait and see what happened.

“You can keep trying to jog your memory, but it doesn’t always work that way. It might work, but it probably won’t. I’m sorry.”

“Thank you for being honest.” Tony said. Peter couldn’t do much more than stare at Cho while she delivered the news. What were they supposed to do if he never remembered?

Late one night Peter heard noise from the living room, which was odd considering everyone went to bed hours ago. There was no reason for it to be any of the Avengers since they had their own floors. Deciding to investigate, Peter pulled off the bed covers and quietly slipped down the hallway.

All the lights were off in the penthouse except for the tv, bathing the living room in a soft glow. Peter couldn’t figure out what was playing until his own face appeared on the screen, albeit a much younger version of himself. It was a video from his fifth birthday party. His dad was holding him while Rhodey and Happy stood off to the side, having just sung Happy Birthday to him. Pepper must have been taking the video because she was the only one not in it.

<,i>“I can’t believe he’s five already,” Rhodey said, shaking his head. His dad agreed with him, saying something about how they grow up too fast. Pepper could be heard laughing in the background.

“I know. Feels like just yesterday I was driving you two home from the hospital.” Happy chimed in. Tony glanced down at five-year-old Peter with the biggest grin anyone had ever seen.

“I was so scared that day. It’s a surprise we ever made it back here with how slow I made you drive.”

“Yeah, you had me driving forty on the interstate. If I hadn’t sped up right as we passed that cop, we would have been pulled over.”

“That would have been a field day for the press.” Pepper laughed from behind the camera, the video turning shaky. “Tony Stark Caught Driving Forty on The Highway with World’s Smallest Baby.”

“He was pretty tiny, wasn’t he? Can’t say he’s grown much.” Rhodey joked. Peter let out a small whimper, earning a round of laughs.

“Come on, Rhodey. Your job as an uncle is to make my kid happy, not tease him. Don’t listen to him, bambino, you’re perfect just the way you are.”

“Nah, I’m fairly sure that’s my job too. Right, Happy?”

“Of course. If we’re going to spoil him, we’ve earned the right to tease him a bit. If he’s anything like you he’ll learn to dish it right back.”

The video was over, but another one soon took its place. The next video was much more recent, being from a little over a year and a half ago. This one was of Peter’s first day of high school. Peter remembered that day all too much, in his opinion. Everyone wanted to talk to him because of who he was (he was used to it by then, but it still sucked) and he could barely find a moments peace. He had almost been late to second period by how many people stopped him in the hallway, which earned a lecture from his English teacher that boiled down to, “I don’t care who you’re father is or who you are, if you’re late again you’ll go straight to detention.” To sum it up, his first day of high school sucked.

This time it was Tony behind the camera. Peter was dressed in jeans, a nerdy science t-shirt, and glasses. He hadn’t been bit by the spider at that point and still needed them to see. His dad and Pepper always say they wished he still wore them, but Peter was glad to be rid of them. He’d broken or lost them too many times to count.

“Are you ready for your first day of high school?” Tony asked. Peter glared at him from across the dining room table.

“No. I don’t want summer vacation to be over yet.”

“It’ll be fun. You get to make new friends and see new things.”

“I’m terrible at making friends.”

You’ll be fine.”

The tv paused before the next video could start. Tony stood up from the couch, mug in hand, and started to make his way towards the kitchen. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Peter standing in the doorway. The pair stared at each other, each waiting for the other to speak first. In the end they both tried speaking at the same time.

“I’m sorry—”

“I didn’t—”

“You can go first,” Peter said, playing with the sleeve of his shirt. Tony sighed.

“I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“You didn’t. I couldn’t sleep.” Try as he might, Peter couldn’t shut his brain off long enough to even doze. He’s spent hours staring at the ceiling and thinking about what Dr. Cho had said.

“Oh. How long have you been standing there?”

“Only for the last two videos.”

“I know it won’t jog my memory.” Tony admitted, defeated. “But even if I can’t remember on my own, I don’t want to forget.”

Peter wanted to ask the impossible question, but he couldn’t form the words. What do we do if you can’t remember? What happens then?

Two weeks passed with no signs of Tony’s condition improving. He’d spent countless hours watching videos stored in FRIDAY’s servers and reading articles about things he’d done. And yet, nothing. The only things he knew were the things he had researched. How odd it felt to research one’s own life and have no recollection of any event that one learns about.

The intern who mislabeled the chemicals was identified by FRIDAY, as well. He was a college intern from NYU. He claimed to have had no intention of mislabeling the containers, but one of his friends informed the police that he had done it on purpose for no other reason than because he had the opportunity.

Tony wanted so badly to meet him in real life. To show him the true reality of his little stunt. To explain how it felt to not even know his own family, his fiancé, his son. He wanted to make him feel the same. He wanted that stupid NYU intern to know how much pain he’d caused.

It wasn’t good enough to know that he would be going to jail for attempted murder, but it would have to do. Tony had more important things to focus on anyway.

Peter woke up the next night when his door flew open. The light from the hallway hurt his eyes as they tried to adjust. He asked FRIDAY to turn on the lights and dim them. Once Peter could finally see, he saw his dad standing in the doorway.

“I love you, bambino. So, so much.” Tony breathed. Peter squinted at him inquisitively. Nobody had so much as mentioned those three words since the accident.

“I remember,” Tony elaborated. “All of it. I remember all of it.”

“Really?” Peter asked, afraid he was dreaming. His dad nodded. “Oh my god.”

Peter nearly tripped on his blankets after throwing them on the floor in his haste to get up. He stood up so quickly he almost gave himself head rush.

The two met in the middle of the room with a bone crushing hug. If both of them we’re crying, nobody had to know. There was no way any of them could go back to sleep now. So, they met Pepper in the living room for a movie night (or was it a movie morning?) complete with fuzzy blankets, ice cream, and an overabundance of cuddles.

When Rhodey came over to visit that morning, he found the three of them asleep on the couch under a shared blanket.

“It’s good to have you back, Tones,” He whispered before heading to the guest bedroom. He hadn’t had the heart to wake them up.

@irondad-fic-exchange

[the-sanders-sides]

inidan american (desi) logan

a sequel to this post because people asked for more and i decided that they shall receive (and also i love writing these)

fair warning, logans a bitter kid, and this isnt as positive and happy as romans post. ive experienced two different ways of being desi, one where i lived in fully asian and indian community and didnt even think id ever feel alone, and another where i moved to a place where i havent met another desi in like 7 years of living here in a 3 hour driving radius. in romans post i played into my first experience and how at home i felt. in the second experience, the one im in right now, i am much more bitter about who i am and not really knowing anyone who gets it anymore. so i play into that A LOT in this. so keep that in mind. (and he will get happier in a future part. m planning on making this into a series)

ok so first off. his name is logan sanders. people (mostly other indians) dont believe him when he tells them. he tells them they dont know indian history. they say they do. he tells them that the british fucked around (quite literally) in india for four centuries so of course english names would stick with that precise wording

sometimes when he’s annoyed enough and doesnt want to explain this for the millionth he defends himself with this russel peters skit (watch it, it’s hilarious) because it describes his family. to a T. 

he grew up in a community with not very many asians, and knew no indians outside his family so he felt a sort of disconnect to his culture

while his grandparents and parents would teach him about indian culture, he felt so distant from it since he knew no one outside his family who was indian, and since he didnt have any siblings or any nearby cousins to hang around with

he had visited india once but he was too young to remember it properly or too remember his cousins

the closest mandir was an hour away so that also limited the amount of indian kids/people he knew

he barely knew hindi because everyone in his family spoke english, especially in public

he felt guilty over the disconnect he felt and would always try to bridge it but would never accomplish this because it he kept losing passion since he rarely saw other people like him in the real world and in the media and he didnt see the point of trying

this all changed in eight grade when he moved next door to the Kumar family in a north indian street of some south asian blocks in an asian community

when his family first moved, the Kumar family invited the Sanders over to welcome them

it turns out the Kumar’s had a son who was the same age as logan

“hi logan! im rohan kumar! but i like going by roman instead of rohan!” 

this introduction pissed logan off 

he was seething because why would this kid who got to have an indian first AND last name change his name to an english one! why didnt he see the value of his name!

he knew right away that such a difference meant they could never be friends 

“im logan sanders, but thats all youll get to know about me because i see no use associating myself with someone as... well, ignorant, as you”

roman decides to whip out one of the swears his cousins taught him and whisper shouts “who are you calling ignorant, bhenchod?” 

 it became clear to him that this was new turf, and people on this new turf must be speaking hindi. and that he was the ignorant one if he couldnt talk in hindi. he made a vow to learn it as fast as he could to make sure this roman kid wasnt better than him

but, logan grits his teeth and says “you, and i know it must be true because you were too dumb to understand me the first time”

this evidently struck a sore spot in roman because he didnt fight back but just stalked away. logan smiled slightly, happy to have won that argument

logan asks his grandpa to teach him hindi and his grandpa gets super excited

they start lessons immediately and despite barely hearing it growing up, it’s as if his brain was made for this because he picks the language up amazingly fast and in a months time, while not able to speak back yet, he can understand most casual conversation

his first diwali in basically little india is the most magical thing ever

diwali at his old home was very quiet because there wasnt anyone around to celebrate with

everyone is so happy in this new home however. everyone is dressed up and all the houses are lit up and there are diyas everywhere and he doesnt want to admit it but the kumar’s have the best rangoli on the street and it’s because of roman and he knows roman did it because sometimes he’d stare out of his bedroom window while doing homework and have a perfect view of roman delicately working on it for two weeks

(the kumar’s front porch had been covered with tarp waiting for diwali to make sure romans precious rangoli wasnt stepped on or ruined. when it’s finally let up, everywhere where there could be art, there is. it’s insane how good at colors roman is, logan thinks)

diwali morning: 

he fights his parents because he doesnt want to miss school for diwali because americans dont have a day off for it. his parents set the clocks in the house ahead to make him think he overslept so he would skip school. (logan didnt know that his parents had submitted an excused absence form for religious reasons and that the school was very understanding. he thought it would be like his old school where he wouldnteven bother trying since he wasnt christain and the school was lkinda discriminatory)

they spend the morning in mandir and it’s nice. for once he doesnt feel different from his peers because he goes to mandir and not church or synagogue. he feels at home.

diwali afternoon:

the afternoon is spent with frantic cleaning and cooking and digging around for the diya’s that were still in boxes, packed away from when they moved

logan offered to find them all to continue with a diya science experiment he started two years prior. his theory was that the diya’s were multiplying and there were more each year despite no one buying anymore

this held true, because even though he could only find half of their diya collection, it was somehow more than the entire diya collection of two years prior. 

diwali evening:

theres a big potluck and everyone in the neighborhood is out talking to each other, looking at the decorations at everyones houses, eating samosas, and playing with sparklers. 

logan feels content

he makes a new resolve to learn more about hinduism. if this is what ti was supposed to be, then he never wanted to be away from hinduism. 

he looked at the metaphors and symbolism in everything and finally understood what his dad meant he told logan that hinduism is just science written in poetry and that string theory is written in the ancient texts

middle school in this new town is so much better than middle school in his old home. why?

a. doesnt get bullied for being a nerd

b. doesnt get called gay slurs 

c. the classes are harder 

d. much less racism

e. all of the above

soon enough, logans asking his grandpa to teach him how to cook Indian food

Logan spends the day burning dosas and making lopsided rotis

(eventually he gets the hang of it, and a he'll be cooking food for an infuriating Indian boy ;) ;) psst it's roman)

Speaking of boys

Coming out isn't an option for logan

He knows that his parents arent really religious enough to really look into hinduism and see that no, gays are not bad

But they are traditional and conservative enough to be homophobic

not homophobic as in spewing hate with the westboro baptist church at a pride parade

But homophobic as in "the gays are fine as long as they don't do it in front of me" kinda thing

So Logan stays quiet

the closet kinda sucks but i mean what can he do

it’s safer inside, and he as illogical as wishing is, he wishes that people would use their brains and realize there’s nothing wrong with gay

anyway

in school logan makes his first desi friend, who was dubbed as anxiety years ago and cant seem to get rid of the nickname and now has a whole complex about his name so logan doesnt know his name

logan and anxiety meet in the school library: logan studying and anxiety hiding

people dont like anxiety

especially non-indian kids

surprise surprise it’s an old buddy called racism, but anxiety’s story is for another time

(but even though no one really likes anxiety, whenever racist shit goes down, it has to go through roman)

so logan and anxiety become fast friends

and they make fun of roman (a+ bonding)

logan claims that roman is a hypocrite for changing his name to an english one while being so immersed in indian culture

anxiety doesnt dispute this, but says he has a past with roman

a past that involved getting stuck with the name anxiety

again, another story for another time

one day, when logan and anxiety are eating lunch they see roman destroy some homophobes who throw around the word f*g and keep calling caitlyn jenner, bruce jenner

logans chest surges

he’s all like “what?? emotions?? pride at roman?? is he better than me for being so open and standing up for what he believes in??”

gay panic basically

but logan masked it well and pushed it away

the next day roman comes to school with a pride patch on his jean jacket

logan feels like he cant breathe

logan is supremely jealous of roman.

he can be gay in peace

he can pretend not to be indian in a way that benefits him

and he’s not affected by stereotypes in the same way?? like what does this kid not have

and by stereotypes i mean

roman is the complete opposite of all indian and desi stereotypes: loud, flamboyant, theatrical

logan’s personality is exactly how the stereotypes are. he’s nerdy and likes science and math and it seems like he cant escape the stereotypes. they follow him. and he feels guilty that he likes science and math and is nerdy. 

as illogical as it is, he wishes he was different from how he is

but logan later learns that there are more than just his perspective on being desi and that every desi kid growing up faces challenges about it that are different than his, causing them to experience being desi differently

and logan will accept that, in another story at another time

for now, he’s just bitter. and as illogical as it is, he wishes the world was better

and now, i shall tag some people who asked to be tagged and some other desi’s who loved this because i feel like you guys might appreciate this too. also i love u. desi famders squad up.

@sssixeyedrunt @ultimate-queen-of-fandoms2 @caterpiller-tea @xxxbladeangelxxx @snufflesthegrim227 @cloudchaser7 @thelowlysatsuma 

[fluffyseapancakes]

Can you write a platonic Peter Parker x reader where the reader is in the Avengers facility trying to do math homework and she struggles with math, so she gets so frustrated that she starts crying? Then Peter finds her and tickles her to cheer her up and then helps her with it? Could it be the Bucky's daughter one?

I can 200% relate to those math struggles, haha. Hope you like it! 

Bucky’s daughter fics Part 1   Part 2 

________________________

You were an Avenger, you’ve been on some kick-ass missions to destroy a terrorist group, your father was Bucky Barnes, most infamously known as the Winter Soldier. Clearly your life was different from most teenage girls and you had important missions coming up, and yet why in the heck were you forced to finish your algebra homework before the meeting?

You glanced at the clock and quietly moaned when you realized you only had fifteen minutes to finish the assignment. Your father had warned that he will check the homework for completion before you even stepped foot in the meeting room. Peter was already here and of course had all of his work done.

The numbers and equations on the page started to melt together in your mind and every time you tried to solve one, it didn’t match up correctly. Your notes were completely useless with the illegible squiggles and you were starting to regret using algebra as the official nap class. The only reason you were even accepted to Midtown was because you excelled at programming and making concoctions with household chemicals. One boring afternoon, you and Peter had a competition to see who could make the strongest web fluid with only the chemicals they found in the kitchen. To Peter’s horror, you won and Tony was greatly impressed by your skills, which led to him enrolling you in the same school as Peter. All the science and technology classes were a breeze and you had fun creating your own projects, but math rolled around and you were in huge trouble. Your father had taught you enough math to get by, but it was barely enough to qualify for the lowest level math class MSHS offered. Peter was a great tutor and Tony helped out when you stayed up till midnight trying to finish homework, your father felt bad that he couldn’t help much so he made you tea and gave encouragement when you were struggling.

“Y/N you finished yet?” Peter walked into the living room and peered over your shoulder to look at the assignment. Only three questions were filled out and the answers were all wrong. He opened his mouth to point out your mistakes, but he heard you sniffle softly. You felt tears burning at the corners of your eyes and you were mortified that you were crying, but you didn’t stop the tears from falling down your cheeks and hitting the paper.

“Hey don’t cry,” Peter immediately scooped you up from the chair and carried you away from the homework, he set you down on the large sofa and held you tightly, “a little assignment isn’t worth crying over.”

“I know,” you whispered, you leaned your head against Peter’s chest and closed your eyes, listening to his heartbeat, “I just feel so freaking stupid and the meeting’s starting any minute now.”

“I’ll help you after the meeting then, but for now you need to forget about the assignment,” he rubbed your back gently.

“How?” You mumbled, “I’ve been working on it all day and my brain is crammed with algebra.”

“Will it help if you laugh?” Peter smiled.

“Maybe,” you shrugged, “but your jokes kinda suck.”

“Excuse me,” he wriggled his fingers into your sides and you bursted out into a stream of giggles, “my jokes are top notch quality thank you very much.”

You clamped your arms down as his devious fingers travelled to your belly, his hands were trapped and you screamed with laughter when he dug in a little deeper. You lifted your arms back up and he immediately dug into your underarms. Ticklish shocks shot down your spine and you desperately tried to escape from his grasp, but he held you tightly in his arms.

“S-stop!” You cackled, you felt your face burning up from laughter and attempted to push him away from you.

“Then agree to take a break,” he reached down and squeezed the tops of your knees, you bucked up and a ridiculously high pitched squeal came out of your lips.

“I’ll take a break!” Sticking to his promise, Peter immediately stopped his attack and awkwardly blotted your wet cheeks with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

“That was evil,” you panted out, trying to rub away the ticklish feelings from your body.

“That’s what best friends do,” Peter laughed and poked you in the ribs, you recoiled at the finger and hissed at him playfully.

“But now I can’t join in on the meeting because I didn’t finish,” you groaned, staring at the long abandoned piles of homework on the kitchen table.

“You can join,” Peter grinned, “I heard your dad telling Mr. Stark that he needed you to be briefed on the mission anyways, he just wanted you to get some motivation.”

You were silent as you processed the information, all those hours you frantically tried to finish your homework, all that frustration and feelings of failure, was basically useless.

“Father!” You stood up from the couch and screamed his name as it echoed throughout the tower. You and Peter, thanks to your enhanced hearing, heard Bucky’s concerned voice from a couple floors up.

“Oh shit.”

“Wait Y/N,” Peter tried to grab your arm but it was too late, you sped to the elevator in hot pursuit of your dad. Your abandoned friend walked over to the table with the homework assignments, he sighed and grabbed a pencil.

I can be a few minutes late, he thought to himself as he got started on the first problem. He made sure to clearly write down every step to solving the equation so you would be able to understand, and made some notes on why you got it wrong in the first place. Suddenly Bucky’s loud laughter echoed from the floor above him and the teenager shook his head with a smile. Ned would totally kill him if he found out Peter had skipped a meeting with the Avengers to do algebra, but he knew you were stressed out lately from school, you needed one night to not have to worry about anything and he was happy to help with that, because that is what best friends do.

[tumblunni]

Okay seriously but dr maddiman's story is SO SAD

His wife literally left him on april fools day!!! And he sat there waiting at the door and crying until midnight just in case it was a joke and she came back

AND THEN HE DIED

And we dont even know WHEN he died! His journals just slowly peter off into nothing after the depressing divorce day. Just "i need to work i need to work" and talking about how he doesnt take care of himself now he has nobody to live for and how he doesnt even remember why he's working anynore but he's scared if he stops working he'll remember that his family left him. And he doesnt know how to cook and he just makes shitty gruel out of whatever was left in the fridge after his wife left and he doesnt ever buy any more groceries and uhh.. Well.. At some point he died. He basically committed suicide by sheer denial. The goddamn diary about being unable to cook trails off into just repeating "tasty gruel" over and over in increasingly gnarled handwriting. And in japanese the word for gruel was a pun on another rather infamous depressing scienceman's last journal in resident evil. So while the dub wrote it out in full sentences instead the original was kinda like... Incoherant rambling of a guy who died mid sentence. Thats what the reference would immediately communicate to anyobe who'd played RE...

And man its just SO SAD cos even before he basically killed himself with unhealthy coping mechanisms, he ruined his own life with the same problem. He became distant from his wife and child because he loved them so much but he didnt know how to communicate it and he just ran away from all of his problems. He buried himself in his work to avoid facing the fact he was having relationship issues with his wife, which obviously just made it worse. And his whole work in the first place was from a stupid idea that he could "keep everyone i love safe if i take over the world". Like the idea of actually telling them he loved them and talking about his worries was SO IMPOSSIBLE that he jumped to an even more impossible solution as something easier! And then its so depressing cos oh man these diaries are like a constant stream of jokes about how this man is destroying himself from overwork and like seriously it was so bad that they had to censor a few of them in the dub. For example one about how he hadnt changed out of his lab coat in over two weeks so his wife mistook his laundry for nuclear waste and tried to friggin dispose of his boxers with a long stick and a flamethrower! Which the dub somehow thought was too gross even tho half of all yokai are just gross jokes lol. BUT SERIOUSLY They try and write it all comical at first but all this comical stuff causes realistic consequences of a rift between him and his family AND ALSO his health failing with every damn page you turn like holy fuckin shit. You cant blame his wife for leaving him, she didnt know he really did love her and was just running away from talking about his problems. God she must have suffered so much trying to raise the kid alone and not knowing WHY he seemed to leave her entirely and hate her more and more each day. And its implied that maddiman's research started getting all fanatical and supernatural even before he became a monster, and he wasnt even seeing regular patients at the hospital and like.. Doing his job... Receiving money of any sort. So man at some point yeah the poor lady would have to make the right choice to leave for the sake of their kid. It sounds like she tried so damn hard to get him to open up and just goddamn come home!!!

AND THE WORST PART IS THAT IT WORKED

Yknow not just in the literal sense where his shambling undead self is STILL SICK FROM HOW HE DIED and LITERALLY WEARS HIS HEART ON HIS SLEEVE NOW

Oh god i just realized that maybe his inspiriting power is "heart swap" not because literally he's an evil scientist who wants to cut you up, but because HE WISHES HE COULD HAVE SHOWN HIS HEART TO HIS FAMILY WHEN HE HAD THE CHANCE!!!!!#!!!

and okay seriously THAT PART, THAT WORST OF WORST PARTS

Is that he did!!! He did try!! He did make the right choice!! He just kept running away for so long that when he decided to step up and be a good husband and father it was already too late. :(

He did decide to abandon his fanatical nonsense and just go home and show them he loves them. He closed up work early and bought a bunch of gifts for his family and came home hoping to surprise them and... Was surprised. At an empty house. And a note saying she'd already gone. On fuckin APRIL FOOLS DAY OF ALL DAMN DAYS so he SAT THERE SURROUNDED BY THE PRESENTS CRYING FOR HOURS HOPING IT WAS JUST A JOKE

And he just fell back even harder into his self harming conflict avoidance behaviours. He didnt try and call her and apologise, he didnt even go home ever again. He probably left the same bag of presents there on the table gathering dust even when he was dead. He just went back to work and kept working so hard that he didnt notice when he fell asleep and never woke up.

And thats why in the first game he seemed so much more evil but he was confirmed redeemable in future games and got all this heart destroying heartwarming bullshit beautiful goddamn writing AND ALSO THREE BABY TURTLES TO HUG. He just fuckin ran away from his problems so hard that he forgot he was ever human!! And he was stuck so much in this 'i must complete my ultimate science at any cost' mindset that he forgot why it was even important. And he was willing to make any damn sacrifices for something he didnt know was already useless cos HIS WIFE AND KID ARE PROBABLY DEAD NOW ANYWAY *sob*

Oh and then yokai watch 3 confirmed that yes at least his kid is indeed dead anyway. You can catch his yokai form too and HE BECAME A DOCTOR JUST LIKE HIS GODDAMN DAD!!!! They made up fpr not ever letting us have a playable maddiman by giving us a new yokai scienceman and HEY WHY NOT HAVE THE SADDEST POSSIBLE EXPLANATION FOR THAT!!!! And in the quest that finaly confirms their connection HA HA WHAT WOULD BE THE WORST POSSIBLE TEASE WE COULD GIVE THE PLAYERS? Hey looks like Cliff inherited his dad's neuroses so instead of going to meet him he runs away from his problems. And thats just the end. The closest they get to reuniting is dr son guy leaving his dad a can of his favourite soda before he runs away. This was in the last set of dlc for the game and will probably never get a better conclusion unless the two of them return in a future game but the original anime series has ended now and the next game looks like its gonna be this alternate universe thing instead. Sigh!

FUCKIN HELL LEVEL-5 WHY DO YOU TORMENT ME WITH THIS GREAT PLOTLINE OF UTMOST SADS

Why is "sad science dad" always my fave character in everything ever and why is dr maddiman such the best

Im cry my heart out. Quite literally. LIKE POOR GODDAMN DR MADDIMANNNNNN