#chapter one hundred and ninety nine

[lofan]

Happy Berlermo day everyone!

I present you a little something for the best fic I have ever laid my eyes on:

The Time Traveler’s Soulmate by @oreo-cookies-fan is wholly responsible for this. This gem of a fic left me speechless and in tears and forced me to do something. That's my only excuse.

[dreamwritesimagines]

The Eye of the Hurricane [11] - Arrogance

A.N: Here’s the new chapter my loves! ❤️ Thank you so much for your wonderful feedback, you made my day! ❤️I hope you’ll like this chapter as well and please don’t forget to tell me what you think! ❤️

Summary: Engagement period is supposed to be romantic.

Word Count: 3300

Pairing: MobBoss!Bucky Barnes x Reader

Warnings: Violence, death, guns, crime, blood, explicit language, drinking. This is an AU, friendly reminder that I don’t condone any of the actions depicted on this story and please read with care.

Series Masterlist

For the next couple of days, you barely had any time for yourself. It wasn’t as if you were naive enough to believe planning a wedding would be relaxing, but this?

This was something else.

“Can I just let you handle the whole thing?” you asked your wedding planner on the phone, leaning back on your seat while you kept your eyes on the people in the café and she let out a laugh.

“I mean don’t get me wrong, I appreciate your trust in me,” she said. “But you still need to choose among the things I send you, otherwise it’ll be like it's my wedding.”

“I don’t know, you strike me as a person who has good taste,” you said. “I might not be completely opposed to that idea.”

“Thanks but I already planned and had my wedding.”

“Right!” you said, snapping your fingers. “You said you were married to a professor, right?”

“Mm hm.”

“Was there like an open floor for discussions on your wedding?”

“Nah, more like an open bar,” she said. “And don’t try to distract me, my assistant sent you like one hundred emails.”

“I know, I know…” you muttered. “At least I decided on the place.”

“Yeah one down, ninety-nine to go,” she said. “Barnes weekend residence. We’re going there tomorrow right?”

“Yeah at 2 o’clock, it’s already on my calendar.”

“Great,” she said. “Answer my emails by then, please?”

“I will, talk to you later!” you said as you saw Ethan walk into the café and you waved at him after hanging up.

“Hey!” he said, coming to hug you when you stood up from your seat. “It’s been a while!”

“Hey yourself,” you said and pulled back from the hug to smile at him, then sat down when he did. “Yeah, sorry about that. I’ve been busy.”

“So I figured,” he said after ordering a coffee to the waiter who approached your table to take his order and you sat up straighter.

“How about you?” you said. “How is everything at the company?”

“Also pretty chaotic,” he said with a small smile. “I’ve been working overtime, a lot.”

“Is everything alright?”

“Yeah!” he said. “Yeah it’s just…it’s a really big company that wants things done in a certain way.”

“Do you want me to send someone around so that they can talk to your boss?”

His eyes widened.

“I—you—” he stammered. “I’m— I’m honored but I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

“Why not?” you asked, tilting your head. “If they’re giving you a hard time, it’s only fair if they have a hard time as well.”

He stared at you as the waiter put the cup of coffee in front of him, and then he cleared his throat.

“I’ll never get used to your lifestyle I think.”

“That’s a good thing,” you said with a small smile. “Please don’t.”

“So how about you?” he asked. “What have you been up to?”

You blinked a couple of times, nervousness churning your stomach before you took a sip of your coffee.

“That’s actually why I asked you here,” you muttered. “And I—I know it’s going to sound a bit rushed, but um…”  

He pulled his brows together, his whole attention on you.

“What is it?” he asked and you swallowed thickly, then tried to smile.

“I’m getting married.”

He gawked at you for a couple of seconds in complete silence as if he wasn’t sure if he had heard you right while you just sat there, nibbling on your lip.

“You…you what?” he asked when he could pull himself together and you shrugged your shoulders.

“Getting married,” you said. “In a month, actually.”

“I wasn’t aware you were in a relationship—”

“I wasn’t,” you cut him off and a look of realization dawned on his face, making him pull back slightly.

“This is what we talked about all those years ago, isn’t it?” he asked. “Back at college. I asked you numerous times and you said no but in your world—”

“Don’t,” you interrupted him again. “You have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“You can say no,” he insisted and you sipped your coffee, reminding yourself to not let anything show on your face.

“What makes you think I want to say no?”

“You want to get married?” he asked with a dry laugh. “And to whom, if you don’t mind me ask?”

“Bucky Barnes.”

Ethan blinked a couple of times.

“…Bucky Barnes as in the guy you hate?”

“Things change,” you said calmly and he scoffed.

“Do they?” he asked. “So it’s a love marriage? Nothing to do with your family business?”

“To repeat, you have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Your world—”

“Ethan, I don’t mean to be rude,” you said through your teeth. “But if you genuinely believe that you know anything about my world, you’re fooling yourself.”

He pressed his lips together, then took a deep breath and pushed his chair back, your bodyguards sitting up straighter as if on cue but you held up a hand, gesturing at them to sit still. Ethan looked between you and the bodyguards, then let out a somber chuckle and put some cash on the table.

“For the coffee,” he said and you rolled your eyes at him.

“Ethan…”

“If they’re forcing you to do this—”

“Nobody is forcing me,” you told him, looking him in the eye and he nodded his head slowly.

“Then I guess congratulations on the wedding,” he said with a sad smile. “I’m not going to pretend I know anything about your world Y/N, I’m just…I’m just wondering what happened to the girl who told me she’d only marry for love, that’s all.”

With that, he walked out of the café and you gritted your teeth, then pressed your palms on your eyes, slouching in your chair.

“I killed her I guess,” you muttered to yourself and lowered your hands. “Occupational hazard and all.”

                                                 *

As you knocked on the door to Becca’s apartment, you could swear your head was about to explode from the headache pounding in your temples. You heaved a sigh and rubbed at your eyes, then heard the footsteps before the door opened.

“Oh hi Y/N!” Leila said. “It's great to see you, I didn’t know you were coming!”

“Sorry to bother you,” you said, offering her a smile. “Is this a bad time?”

“Not at all, come in!”

“Is Becca here?”

“Yeah!” she said as she stepped aside so that you could go in. “We were just watching—um, are you okay?”

“Not exactly,” you grumbled and made your way to the living room to see Becca sitting on the couch with the remote in her hand.

“Hey, I didn’t know—” she started but stopped talking when you flung yourself on the other couch across from hers, letting out a groan. You could hear Leila entering the living room as well and you raised your head from the pillow with a sigh.

“Do either of you have a painkiller?”

“Oh yeah, let me get it for you,” Leila said and rushed to the kitchen while you pulled yourself up into a sitting position, then hugged a pillow over your stomach.

“What’s going on?” Becca asked and you huffed out.

“Terrible day. Do you want to go out for drinks?”

“I’d love to but I have plans,” she said apologetically. “I’ll go out in like an hour.”

“What plans?”

“Uh…therapy,” she answered as Leila came back to the living room holding a glass of water and a pill.

“Thank you so much,” you said as you took them from her and she smiled at you, then went to sit beside Becca after you swallowed the pill and put the glass on the small coffee table.

“So?” Becca said. “What happened? Is it Bucky?”

“For once, nope.”

“Congratulations on the engagement by the way!” Leila said. “To be honest, I could kind of tell something was there even when you two kept arguing that night.”

You raised your brows and stole a look at Becca who shrugged her shoulders subtly. It wasn’t that you thought she would say anything to anyone about the real reason why you and Bucky were getting married, but she had fallen so head over heels in love with Leila that it took you by surprise that she hadn’t told her either.

But on a second thought, you knew you shouldn’t have been surprised. Not only would you trust Becca with your life, but Becca was also raised with the same rules as you and Bucky were, and secrets were almost sacred in your world.

“Thanks,” you said with a small smile. “It’s a bit rushed but when you know you know.”

“That’s so true,” Leila said, holding Becca’s hand and a cute blush spread over Becca’s cheeks, making you smile despite the headache.

“So it’s not Bucky then?” Becca asked and you massaged your temples.

“Ethan.”

“Oh I liked Ethan—” Leila started, but stopped when she saw the look on your face. “Or you know, I could also hate him if we hate him now, I don’t mind.”

“No no,” you said. “He’s sweet but um…I told him the news about the wedding and he understandably did not like it.”

“You two weren’t together though?”

“Eh, there was still something,” Becca said. “He likes you, a lot.”

“He thinks I’m being forced into this,” you said and Becca shot you a smile.

“As if anyone could force you into marrying my brother.”

“I mean it’s not the nineteenth century,” Leila pointed out and Becca let out a laugh.

“So, how heartbroken was he?”

“I wouldn’t say he was heartbroken,” you muttered. “Just angry I guess. And I get it, I haven’t been completely honest with him—” You were cut off when your phone started vibrating and you took a look at the screen, then pushed yourself off the couch.

“I’ll be right back,” you said and walked to Becca’s bedroom, then took the phone to your ear.

“Yeah?”

“Hey beautiful,” Bucky’s voice reached you and you sat down on Becca’s bed, fully aware that you were pouting your lips.

“Hey.”

“How’s your day going?”

“Meh,” you said with a shrug of your shoulders. “What is it?”

“I just called to let you know we have a dinner reservation tonight,” he said. “I’ll pick you up from the hotel around 8?”

You made a face. “Why?”

“What do you mean?”

“I don’t like your presence any more than you like mine,” you stated. “And it’ll be harder for me to ignore you in a restaurant if it’s just the two of us having dinner.”

“I mean, you do realize you don’t have to ignore me—”

“I know I don’t have to, it’s more of a hobby,” you said. “So? Why are you taking me out to dinner?”

“Because if we want people to believe it’s a love marriage rather than what it actually is, we need to be seen outside as a couple,” he said and you heaved a sigh, then ran a hand over your face.

“Right.”

“So then—”

“Yeah you can pick me up at 8,” you said and he paused for a second.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” he asked. “You sound a bit…”

“Yeah I’m fine,” you said in a rush. “It’s just you know, this whole marriage thing—I’m fine. I’m great.”

“Very convincing,” he deadpanned and you scoffed a laugh.

“Just pick a nice restaurant, will you?” you asked and hung up before he could retort, then huffed out and got up from the bed to walk back to the living room to see Leila walking to the kitchen.

“So Becca has stuff to do but I figured we could drink and watch trash TV if you’d like?” she asked as soon as she saw you. “I can make mimosas.”

You blinked a couple of times and nodded fervently.

“That’d be great!” you said and she gave you a happy smile, then entered the kitchen. You smiled to yourself, then flung yourself next to Becca.

“I’ve changed my mind,” you said and Becca tilted her head.

“About what?”

“About what I said earlier,” you said. “You totally should propose and marry her, she’s amazing.”

                                           *

Even you had to admit, the restaurants in Bucky’s territory were better than the ones in your father’s territory.

It was rather annoying but considering your house with him would of course be in his territory, at least you already knew you would get good food whenever you two went out for dinner. Bucky’s palm was warm on the small of your back and if it were any other time you would have slipped out of his grasp but you let him guide you to the restaurant.

“Mr. Barnes, it’s an honor,” A man greeted you two by the entrance. “Your table is ready, please follow me.”

 You looked around the luxurious interior as you and Bucky made your way to your table, and a waiter pulled your chair for you to sit down. You took a quick look at the menu before ordering and Bucky just asked for his usual, and you watched the waiter walk away with the man.

“I don’t think I’ve been here before,” you told Bucky. “When did it open?”

“Around a year ago,” he said. “I like it here, it’s…private, mostly.”

You hummed while the waiter filled your glass with wine and you took a sip, enjoying the nice taste.

“So my dad called while I was getting ready,” you said. “Apparently he will talk to Stark sometime this week.”

“I have a pretty good guess about how that will go,” Bucky muttered and you bit inside your cheek.

“You think Stark will make things difficult?”

“I mean he’s not going to like it because two families uniting means a tremendous power in the city,” Bucky stated. “Let’s see how he reacts and plan accordingly.”

“Might have to sweettalk him,” you said. “Gift him a shipment or two. And Romanoff?”

“I’m meeting her tomorrow,” he said. “Steve will be there too, they’re old friends. Any stupid comments from Ian lately?”

“Nope. By the way I was going to ask you but I forgot—that night, when you and Ian were talking,” you said. “What did he tell you?”

Bucky scoffed before taking a sip of his wine.

“He was saying that you wanted to be an active player in the business,” he said with a small smile. “Just in case I didn’t know.”

You rolled your eyes. “Idiot.”

“But I don’t think he suspects anything.”

“No, he thinks the same as my dad,” you said with a dry laugh. “I get married and pop out a few babies and become a fucking Stepford Wife.”

Bucky shot you a grin, then his head shot up.

“Oh I almost forgot,” he said and took out a small velvet box out of his pocket, then put it on the table. You arched a brow.

“Is that the ring?”

“Yeah.”

“Nah you can take it back,” you said after sipping your wine. “I’ll go and check some jewelers tomorrow and get something pretty, they can send you the bill.”

He pulled his brows together. “You didn’t even look at it.”

“I don’t need to, I’ve seen the women you dated,” you pointed out. “Something tells me they didn’t educate you well about jewelry so there’s no need for—”

You stopped talking when he reached out to open the small box for you and your eyes fell upon the ring, the rest of your sentence getting stuck in your throat. The pear-shaped diamond on the delicate rose gold band was so pretty that for a couple of seconds you could only stare at it while it glimmered under the dim light of the restaurant, almost hypnotizing you before you remembered to pull yourself together.

It was definitely to your taste, as if…

“Becca helped you,” you managed to say as you reached out to take it into your hand and he nodded.

“Mm hm. Today.”

“Well played.”

Bucky gave you a proud smile, his piercing blue gaze almost too hot on your skin and you slipped the ring onto your finger, then held up your hand so that you could look at it better.

“It’s pretty,” you said. “I’m keeping it in the divorce by the way.”

He clutched as his chest. “Don’t be so romantic Charm, I’m going to get emotional.”

That made a laugh spill from your lips while the waiter brought your food, and you thanked him while Bucky leaned forward on his elbows as if he wasn’t even aware of anything else but you.

“Can I ask you something?”

“No.”

“How did you use to imagine it?”

You looked at him. “Imagine what?”

“Your engagement period, your wedding, you name it,” he said and you hummed, then leaned back.

“Why do you want to know?”

“Maybe we can make the wedding the way you pictured it,” he said and you scoffed a laugh.

“I doubt it,” you said. “When I pictured my wedding, I always pictured myself in love. There was this fairytale wedding, gorgeous wedding gown, we’d go to Paris for the honeymoon and he’d be reciting poetry about how much he was in love with me in bed.”

Bucky blinked a couple of times and cleared his throat.

“I’m not good with poetry.”

“Never thought you were,” you said. “Eh, maybe my second marriage will go the way I pictured it.”

That caused a shadow to cross his eyes but he recovered fast, sipping his drink.

“How about you?” you asked. “How did you use to imagine your second marriage?”

He tilted his head. “What happened to my first marriage?”

“I’m glad you asked,” you said, pointing at him with your fork. “Funny story. You knocked her up and you guys decided to keep it because you got emotional and it would be your first heir, so you two ended up getting married in a rush and named that baby your actual heir.”

An amused smile curled his lips. “Interesting. Go on.”

“But after the baby, that marriage turned into one full of resentment and then you decided it was a good idea to fuck your secretary.”

“So I live in a porn scenario?” he asked and you nodded.

“Pretty much. Then your wife left you, took away all your things—”

“I don’t have a prenup?”

You shook your head. “Nope.”

“Impossible.”

“You don’t exactly have a prenup with me.”

He winked at you. “Maybe I trust you.”

“That’s a terrible idea,” you retorted, making him chuckle. “But yeah, your first wife divorced you. Sorry you had to find out this way.”

“It was good while it lasted, I’m sure.”

“Wouldn’t be so sure, she hates you,” you said airily. “Rightfully, that is. Then you meet your second wife who definitely deserves better than you, but by some miracle she stays with you.”

“Thanks a lot, she sounds amazing.”

“Right?” you said. “There you go. Your two marriages.”

“Very creative,” he pointed out. “Do I recite poetry to her in this scenario?”

“Yes but you also have performance problems so romance makes up for it, in a way,” you stated and he smirked.

“You seem to put a lot of thought into my performance, pillow princess.”

Your jaw dropped as you gasped. “Wh—how dare—you don’t even—”

“Please,” he said. “You dream of a guy reciting poetry to you on your honeymoon.”

You could feel your cheeks burning as you glared daggers at him.

“Shut up,” you grumbled, making him smirk.

“That being said, you have nothing to worry about my performance.”

You rolled your eyes at him while you chewed on your bite, then swallowed it.

“See Bucky, this is exactly why when I divorce you, I’m keeping the ring and the weekend house,” you pointed at him with your fork, coaxing a chuckle out of him. “You’re too arrogant for your own good.”

Chapter 12

[boolittlebean]

POSER | blue lock v! x gn! reader

chapter 1: poser (pilot)

✎

Honestly, you really didn’t know why you were here. If you were to ask any of the other two hundred and ninety-nine boys in the same room as you, they could probably give you a pretty accurate answer of why they were there. You stared at the lanky man standing on the stage in front of you all, scrunching your nose in distaste.

        His hair needs some work, was the conclusion you came up with as you observed his awful bowl cut. The man kept ranting about football things you really didn’t care about—something about becoming the best striker in the world and being the last man standing. Thinking back, you remembered how you got into this situation in the first place.

        “Play for me, [name].” You stared blankly at your best friend of many years, wondering what on earth was going through his head. Your eyes drifted up and down his form, observing his body language for any sign he was joking around. He wasn’t.

        “And why exactly would I do that?” You raised a brow at him. “You know I could care less about football.” You raised your hand to your head, scratching it in a spot that had been itching for a while now.

        “Well, yeah, I know that… But, please hear me out, [name]!” [best friend] begged. Your eyes shifted to his expression, and you sighed, urging him to go on. “This… This is my dream! To become the best striker in the world, I’ve been working hard all my years of high school.” You couldn’t help but feel like he was being a bit overdramatic. “But…I can’t fulfill it anymore.” You knew why: just a day after he had gotten the letter, [best friend] had overworked himself and tore his ACL.

        You gripped the letter in your hand. “Even if I agree to this, how am I supposed to get by as you?” You questioned your friend, and he grinned.

        “Well, remember how people always believed me and you were twins?”

        You narrowed your eyes. “Yeah…” [best friend] smirked at your response.

        “Well, all you need is a few touch ups, and then you’ll be me!” You deadpanned, staring at him in disbelief. It’s not that easy, you groaned at his naiveness. You hesitated, taking a step back as [best friend] noticed your expression.

        “Please, [name], this is my dream, and whether I accomplish it or not, I don’t want it to go to waste. Do it for me?” You gave in the moment you saw tears in his eyes.

        You shook off the memory, glancing around at all the boys surrounding you. Your [e/c] eyes shifted, making contact with brown ones from across the room. The boy was sitting on the ground, leaning against the wall with a video game console in his hands. You quickly shifted your eyes away, but you could still feel his stare on the back of your head.

        You decided to tune back in to the bowl-cut man standing in front of the huge doors. Man, can’t we just move on already? My legs are cramping up from standing here.

        Fortunately, your wishes were granted as the tall man—his name was Ego, how ironic—grinned at you all, announcing, “If you desire that rebellious egoism, then step through the gate!”

        Finally, you cheered to yourself before you took a step forward, and then another, until you were bolting through the crowd of people. I hope there’s somewhere to lie down when I get inside, you hummed to yourself as people jumped out of your way. You turned your head to the side, making eye contact with bright blue eyes. You sped past him, and you could faintly register his footsteps behind you as he sprinted after you.

…

        You were lost, you finally concluded, sighing at your own idiocy. After that pretty lady—what was her name again? —handed you your number, you completely zoned out, waddling around randomly. You huffed as you turned right at a corner, observing the corridor for any doors with your number labeled on them, brightening when you saw a glimpse of the letter you were looking for.

        Once you had approached the door, you tried your best to open the door quietly, only for it to screech when you opened it wide enough to step inside the room.

        Your eyes were met with a variety of different faces that all stared at you blankly. You stared back. “Well…” You glanced at the big screen with the giant egg headed man staring at you. “This is awkward.” You awkwardly shuffled to one of the lockers, opening one next to a tall boy with (emo looking) dark hair and bright green eyes. He side-eyed you for a second before stepping away.

        Am I that unpleasant to be around? You questioned your own worth as you quickly finished changing. Once you were done, you turned around with an expressionless face, only for the screen to switch slides as Ego declared, “Now, let’s play tag.” Before you knew it, a football had dropped straight onto your head.

✎

[all rights reserved to boolittlebean/theultimatebean/bxbblebxba]

[todaysdocument]

American Red Cross - Groups - Colored Auxiliary of Bakersfield Chapter, Bakersfield, California

Record Group 165: Records of the War Department General and Special StaffsSeries: American Unofficial Collection of World War I PhotographsFile Unit: American Red Cross - Groups

Original caption: NUMBER AU American Red Cross PHOTOGRAPHER 165-WW 58 A 43 REC'D 5-23-19 DESCRIPTION: COLORED AUXILIARY OF BAKERSFIELD CHAPTER,BAKERSFIELD,CALIFORNIA. ISSUED: S February the Twelfth One thousand Seven hundred and ninety three" and as in duty bound, &c. Margaret S. Gittings Witness John Hanan

This black and white photograph is mounted on a card.  It shows nine people standing in a chevron formation on steps.  Six are nurses, in long dresses and long veils of early 20th century nurses.  Two men stand in the back in suits and hats, with Red Cross armbands on their sleeves.  A woman in a dark ladies suit with a large brimmed hat stands on the top step.  Behind them you can see a large stone building.

[narrans]

My Borrowed Son | 20 | Crush(ed)

Chapter Twenty | Crush(ed)

“No! It’s because you’re a nerd and know way too much about space,” teased Selina. Both she and Parker were howling with laughter after an in-depth conversation about space and the different elements of it.

Space. Stars. Comets. Black holes. Meteors and meteorites.

Everything Selina had a question about, Parker had an answer for, which naturally led to her teasing him. They had spent the past few hours going back and forth in discussion, playfully talking and teasing one another the entire time.

And this wasn’t the first time they’d spent most of a Saturday morning talking well into the afternoon and sometimes evening. For the past few months, the two of them could be found talking to one another either on discord or through messaging apps.

For Parker, it was a good distraction from the past few weeks during his relative obsession with the mysterious drill bit and the odd shadow he thought he saw when his eyes were playing tricks on him. Just last week, he even dared to venture into the walls and explore that mysterious space between the drywall and the supporting beams that made up his home.

He didn’t find anything, not that he thought he would, but there was still some odd sensation lingering in his chest that there was something that he was missing.

“I mean, seriously!” grinned Selina as she leaned forward toward her webcam. Parker snapped back to the conversation and kept his mind from wandering any further into the unknown. “Why do you know that there are almost ten thousand satellites orbiting Earth right now?”

“Nine thousand, four hundred, ninety-four active satellites. Let’s be precise,” grinned Parker.

“Oh what-ev-er!” Selina giggled. “What I want to know is how you managed to steer the conversation into space when we were talking about our upcoming Mario Kart tournament.”

Parker, grinning from ear to ear, felt his cheeks pinken as he looked up into the camera, imagining looking into Selina’s eyes instead of the cold lens that was in front of him.

“Well, you know there are a lot of different themes and arenas to choose from when playing Mario Kart and we were trying to decide which one would be the best. I think that the space themed one would be best,” pointed out Parker.

Somehow, the room was feeling a tad warm, and Parker was feeling nervous and giddy. It was like butterflies were swirling around in his chest. What was this feeling?

“I know, but there are a dozen other designs we could go with. There’s the original and the rainbow road. I love the rainbow road!” moaned Selina playfully. Parker chuckled and shook his head.

“We always do rainbow road. We need to mix things up a bit. Come on! We need to make a decision to send out in the group text today,” said Parker. He reached up and ruffled his hair, noticing that the length was starting to get a tad long and that his mom was probably going to notice any day now.

“Oh, don’t be a spoil sport,” Selina teased. “Why don’t you come on! We need to celebrate! We just finished finals. You, as usual, were in the top three – ya’ nerd – but I wouldn’t expect anything less from you.”

Parker’s cheeks burned hot with embarrassment. It was true. The finals went off without a hitch and Parker found his scores near the top of his peers, which was significant considering he was in the advanced classes with kids who were a little bit older than himself. The scores, for Parker, were a tad bittersweet.

On one hand, being part of the top meant that Parker was on a lot of honors emails and celebrations and shout-outs. It looked really good for his transcripts, especially since he was already considering specialized high schools and college programs that accepted students who were much younger than the average student.

Parker considered himself fortunate enough that his mother wasn’t pressuring him into any particular program. She wanted him to be happy, but the one thing that would really make Parker happy came with the bitter part of the bittersweet.

A lot of those accolades and awards came with get-togethers and parties – none of which Parker could attend except virtually.

It wasn’t the same.

Parker wanted to be able to go to these parties. He wanted to see his friends in person. He had known a lot of these people for three years and he had never met them face to face. Even the upcoming Mario Kart tournament was going to be in-person at his friend Bailey’s house, but everyone but Parker would be able to show up.

“Parker?”

“Hm?... oh… yeah,” stammered Parker as he found focus back on the conversation. He remembered Selina calling him a nerd after talking about finishing finals and not expecting anything less from him. “I am a bit of a nerd.”

Selina eyed Parker through the camera and leaned forward, those hypnotic eyes capturing Parker’s attention. He squirmed under her gaze. It was like she could see straight through him. If he wasn’t sure she didn’t know about his size, he would say that she guessed it simply because of this one look.

“Parker? Are you okay?” asked Selina. It was a question Parker didn’t care for recently. He wanted to answer honestly – which was no. No, he didn’t feel okay. Everything in his body was hurting and aching randomly. He didn’t feel comfortable in his own frame, and that was coming from him and his proud nearly four inches. His dreams had been odd recently. He was so spooked because he thought he saw a shadow that he literally ventured into the walls to find out if he was crazy.

But how could he articulate it? How could he get Selina to understand?

“Bummed about not coming to the party?” Selina’s prompting question brought a whole new level to Parker’s mental scramble, so he decided to go with that being the main reason.

“Yeah, a bit,” mumbled Parker. “But it’s okay. I’ll be able to call in through Discord.”

Selina rolled her eyes, which was a classic Selina move, and shook her head.

“I still can’t believe you put up with that,” she grumbled. This comment took Parker aback just a bit, and it wasn’t like him to just leave it alone. He decided to ask for clarification.

“Put up with that?” Parker asked. Selina gave an animated shrug and flared her fingers as if to say “duh.”

“Yeah, constantly being on lockdown. You talk about you having some weird condition that makes you fragile, but you don’t seem all that fragile to me. It just doesn’t make any sense to me. Can’t you ask your mom to let you come just this once?” said Selina. Her tone took on a weird combination of whining and pleading.

The familiar disappointing sensation crept over Parker, making his chest feel tight, as he solemnly shook his head.

“Selina, I can’t. I mean, I could ask my mom, but… my condition… I don’t think it’s a good idea,” said Parker.

“But why?” insisted Selina.

“Selina…”

“What? You’ve never really given a straight answer.”

“Because not everyone would be careful with me,” said Parker, for the first time raising his voice in frustration. He hoped Selina would drop the issue, but the determined look in her eye said otherwise. In fact, she looked terse and frustrated.

“Well… I’d be careful with you….” Selina grumbled. “And what does that even mean? Careful with you? Parker, I hope you know I’d never hurt you. I… I really like you…”

Parker’s world came to a complete stop hearing Selina’s words.

Like? Like him?

As in… she had a crush on him?

It would absolutely make sense. It would explain Selina’s behavior recently. She was very complementary. She was giddy and giggling most of the time. It reminded Parker of the romantic comedies that his mom liked to watch from time to time.

Parker remembered his mom talking to him about how things would be changing and the odd question of whether or not he liked any of his classmates. Only now did the teen realize this is what she meant.

Taken aback, Parker felt himself stammer, “L-like? Me?” before he could even stop himself. Selina, now blushing a bright pink, nodded bashfully.

“Yeah. I really like you, and I was hoping you would go with me to the party as my boyfriend.”

Parker’s head swirled. His heart was going to burst out of his chest. Everything was tingling inside of him. His insides actually felt like they were filled with butterflies now.

“I… you mean it?” asked Parker. Selina glanced up at the camera and bit her lower lip, which made Parker feel his heart begin to race, as she nodded.

“Yeah. Yeah, I mean it. So? Will you be my boyfriend?” asked Selina. Parker took in a couple nervous breaths. He thought about how Selina made him feel and how he felt excited and jittery when they were talking.

Was this love?

Parker wasn’t sure, but he knew he did like Selina.

“Well… yeah. Let’s do it,” grinned Parker. Both of them couldn’t stop smiling as they continued to glance nervously at one another through the camera. The young teen felt at a loss for words, but less than a minute had passed when Selina broke the silence.

“Great! Now, as my boyfriend, you have to tell me everything about you. Do I even know your favorite color? Oh, that’s right! It’s green. Like dark green. Okay. Got that. Um… yeah! So, tell me more about your mom. No. Wait. I can ask her when I meet her. Um… let’s see… Oh! I’ve got it!

“Since you’re my boyfriend and you always have to tell the truth to whatever question I ask, tell me more about your condition. Like, what makes you fragile? And you have to ask your mom – no, tell your mom that you’re going to the party.” Selina spouted off everything so fast that Parker’s head was starting to spin.

Some of what Selina said made a bit of sense. Honesty was a good policy, according to his mom, but he had never opened up to anyone about the specifics of his condition. Parker had always been secretive simply because he knew his condition was rare and that things were odd surrounding it.

It was now that the same sensation crept over him that kept him guarded. It was the same sensation that made Parker shy away from his mom’s hand and the feeling that led him into the walls.

For one reason or another, Parker’s instinct was to keep his condition a secret – and that’s what he did.

“Um… well… I… don’t know what else there is to say about it other than what I’ve told you,” said Parker, realizing how lame he sounded after the words came out of him. The look Selina gave him only confirmed that he was in trouble.

“Parker, we’re boyfriend and girlfriend. You can trust me with this. Don’t you trust me?” Selina bristled.

Parker felt taken aback and defensive all of a sudden. He’d never come across something like this before. He felt hollow and nervous, but also a bit angry.

Why was this an issue now? She’d never wanted to know before, so why was there additional pressure now?

“Selina, I do trust you. It’s just… there’s nothing else to tell,” urged Parker. He felt the same sensation creep over him as he kept his condition a secret – and it was one of reassurance. For whatever reason, Parker knew he was doing the right thing not saying anything else other than what his mom trained him to say.

Selina tossed her hair and folded her arms before retorting, “I don’t believe you. I don’t think you’re telling me the truth. If I were Bailey, I’d bet you’d tell. You two are sooo close.”

“Bailey? What does Bailey have to do with this? And of course we’re close. We’re best friends. Why are you bringing her into this? We were just talking about the get-together,” asked Parker, meaning to ask this to himself instead of out loud, but there was no retracting his words now.

“Oh, I don’t know. What does she have to do with this? Does she know? Would you tell her more if she asked,” accused Selina.

Disbelievingly, Parker shook his head as it began to swirl. “Selina, Bailey doesn’t have anything to do with this. She knows just as much as you do, which is what all of my friends know about me. I’m just a bit fragile and different. That’s all.”

What is happening? Where is this coming from?

“Parker, I can’t accept this. If you don’t tell me, I’m breaking up with you,” threatened Selina.

Parker couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Breaking up? They were barely together? Was this how all girls were?

He knew he liked Selina, but he wasn’t sure if he liked her in the same way. Sure, he enjoyed their time together, but all of this was really sudden.

Not only that, but Parker inevitably knew that his condition was something that Selina would have to deal with. He knew the lengths his mom went to in order to help him. Was that something Selina would be up to? Did he dare disclose his condition in full to save this five minute long relationship?

A million things hit him all at once, both for the immediate situation in front of him and for a future he felt like he was too young to comprehend.

He bit his lip as he felt himself crushed under the weight of what Selina just said. It was a lot – possibly too much – for right now. As much as he liked Selina, Parker wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell her everything.

Parker made his decision.

Between his instinct of keeping his height and condition close to his chest and Selina’s sudden erratic behavior, he knew what needed to happen.

“I… I don’t know what else to say. I’m sorry, but there’s nothing else to tell,” said Parker. Selina rolled her eyes and shook her head.

“Well, I guess that’s the end of that. Goodbye Parker. Have fun telling your girlfriend Bailey the same thing and see how she reacts. Next time a girl wants you to open up, maybe you should listen.” With that, the call was cut.

Parker, dazed and confused, felt like he had been punched in the gut repeatedly. He hoped he didn’t just lose his friend, and he hoped that none of his other friends were feeling the same way Selina was. If they were just as frustrated with Parker’s lack of additional explanation about his condition as Selina was, he would be friendless by the start of the party.

Chest heavy and sad, Parker closed down his computer, slunk over to his bed, and flopped down on the squashy mattress. He stared at the ceiling for several minutes as he contemplated everything that just happened.

Curses…

Yet another thing he would never be able to do face to face…

Why?

Why him?

Why was he so different?

And would he ever find that true sense of belonging?

~~~~~^*^*^*^*^~~~~~

Continue

Previous

Beginning

[mlbigbang]

2022 Marichat Fic Rec List

It's the end of the year which means it's finally time for the ML Big Bang's yearly fic rec lists! We're really excited to bring you our contributors' favourite fics from this year to supply you with plenty of reading material while you're waiting for the Big Bang fics' publication in January.

Asking the important questions by @ultrakart 1,397 words, General, 1/1 chapter

After having returned home from Shanghai, Marinette and Chat Noir have some important questions for each other.

"Platonic Marichat shenanigans, resoundingly reminiscent of canon in the absolute best way."

final girl by @picayunearts 41,310 words, Teen, 10/10 chapters

Marinette has ninety-nine problems, and the superhero trio of Paris counts for a hundred. [AU where Marinette follows through on giving up her earrings after Stoneheart, but becomes the Guardian to protect her replacement.]

"This one floored me. Characterization is on point. I love the premise of Marinette giving up the miraculous and being guardian. Wonderfully executed in my opinion. And the writing. THE WRITING. :chefskiss:"

"Another amazing au. I love the take on "Marinette gives up on being Ladybug" and teh way it's written is chef's kiss."

Everything's Not Fine by @flightfoot 976 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

"Why’s mother down here? What- what is this?” “Still committing to the bit?” Gabriel snorted. “Really now, I thought you were smarter than that. Adrien was compelled to obey the order Nathalie gave via his amok - you would not have been.” “My WHAT?!” -------------- After the events of Risk, Adrien makes his way down to his father's secret lair. Gabriel catches him. Unfortunately, he cares even less about Felix than he does about Adrien.

"An alternative follow-up to 'Strike Back' that packs twist after twist after twist into a very short space, leaving you a little breathless as you read it and sorry that it didn't happen this way in the show."

The Dating App by leadernovaandthemacabre 14,960 words, Teen, 1/1 chapter

Chat Noir and Marinette cross paths on Paris’ newest dating app and keep crossing paths until secrets slip. - [MDC]: why are you here [OfficialChatNoir]: we matched! shall we go out for sweethearts ice cream? [MDC]: i’m blocking you [OfficialChatNoir]: wait wait marinette wait *[MDC] has blocked you*

"I loved the bonding between these too and how naturally everything flowed and how open they became with each other and aaaaa"

NSFW works

Patient is the night by @mostlymoony 72,243 words, Mature, 31/31 chapters

Beware the Cat Knight, he demands a price For this fallen prince, gold shall not suffice Fear the Cat Knight, as he trades life for life Cry pretty girls, for the cat needs a wife. When Marinette's small farming town is attacked by Hawkmoth's army of night creatures, Marinette rides for the dread Butterfly Castle, seeking aid from the mysterious Black Cat Knight and his band of masked fighters. She's determined to save her town, even if that means handing herself over to a strange man with wild, green eyes and a penchant for cat-related puns. There will be smut, and this is my first time writing smut. I'm so sorry.

"Such a good gothic romance/fairy tale vibe to it and I just found the plot/progression very enjoyable. The magic and world building is unique and vague enough to make it important but not overwhelming. They also made some great artwork for it!"

Pink Really is Your Color by @inkmousey 2,811 words, Explicit, 1/1 chapter

Marinette really hates that dumb Cat. Until he's pressing her against a wall and making her forget Adrien Agreste ever existed.

"It's amazing!!! So very amazing and it has a great dynamic that's great for Marichat!"

I’d Never Forget About You by @inkmousey 3,400 words, Explicit, 1/1 chapter

Adrien thinks everyone forgot about him on his birthday, and by everyone— he means the only person who ever remembers it anyway, Marinette.

"MariBlanc is such an interesting pairing and the fic handles them so amazingly!!!"

[batfam-fanfics]

The Sunset Left You Feeling Colder by GoldfishForHire

1 Chapter - 4994 words

Attempt Ninety Eight Unsuccessful Attempt Ninety Nine Unsuccessful

Tim promised to stop the cloning attempts.

Attempt One Hundred Twenty Unsuccessful Attempt One Hundred Twenty One Unsuccessful

 Well, he never actually said 'Promise'.

Attempt One Hundred Twenty Three Unsuccessful Attempt One Hundred Twenty Four Successful

Well. Damn.

[skinidilo]

With Wings

POV Gwayne Hightower

Word count: 550<

AN: This is a revision of my previous post. In the next chapter, Gwayne will meet a love interest, as well as learn what Larys is plotting to do with the prisoners.

Tags: First Person narrative, tension, plot

Ser Gwayne Hightower sticks out his neck in order to save the lives of the ratcatchers. In doing so he is unwittingly tied to the machinations of Lord Larys Strong, who has devised a most desperate use for them.

Chapter 1

Word came that one hundred of the Palace’s most miserable derelicts had been rounded up and shackled. King Aegon II wanted them hanged. The men in question: Visibly poor. Likely criminals. That is to say, the very aristocracy of Flea Bottom. They were the rat catchers, and they were all going to die. 

The son of King Aegon II was slain, and the ratcatchers, exactly who you’d most suspect, had a hand in that sin. The depravity occurred within the Keep’s own walls. I was still a few day's ride from the city, but that was what the peasants on the road said. 

“They’re gonna hang a hundred of ‘em!” they all cried in panic. 

“That would be unjust,” I assured them. That wasn’t the kind of justice dispensed in Oldtown. My sister, Alicent, would never raise a son capable of that. Even in his darkest hour.

I arrived far earlier than expected, having ridden hard upon hearing the gruesome plan. I sought the king out at the Red Keep. He was speaking with the loathsome Lord Larys’ Strong, perhaps more publicly than one should.

“My Lord,” I stepped forward and knelt.

“Uncle.” The king replied, not bothering to look at me. I quickly rose, snubbed. 

“I beseech you to spare the ratcatchers,” I said with little hope.

“What, you too?” The King looked annoyed. He looked to Larys, “Is he-?”. Larys slowly shook his head no.

“I and every reasonable citizen from here to Oldtown, too.” 

“Oh well, in that case, Uncle, please. I hadn’t realized you’d managed to find the reasonable fucking citizens, elusive that they are, and query them as to how I should rule my goddamn kingdom.” King Aegon glared at me now, his eyes were very red. “My son is dead, but I see who it is that has your sympathy. I’ll have Justice!”

“And we shall put those responsible to the sword,” I said, “Those responsible.” 

“I need to see those responsible hanging from the rampart,” Aegon said, “I need to see the crows pecking out their eyeballs. Now.”

“My lord,” Larys said, “We may still find some use for these souls. I will soon know the truth of what transpired, I need only a  little more time. Word travels qu-” 

“Oh, daft! Both of you!” Aegon exclaimed. “Their use is to catch rats, and they’ve outlived even that!” 

“Let me set them upon the enemies of the crown,” Larys said, “We know the assassin had but one accomplice. It’d be a waste to kill ninety-nine innocent men. Let me use them, my lord.” It struck me that this was not the first time Larys had proposed the idea to Aegon, who seemed altogether uninterested in anything other than a massacre. 

“And would you lead the ratcatchers into battle? Even the wall wouldn’t have that lot.” Aegon sneered at him. Larys shifted uncomfortably, but he did not speak on impulse. I watched him measure his words carefully. I needed to save these men and women from untoward justice, no matter what I felt for them personally. They were citizens of the crown, I couldn’t have them strung them up indiscriminately.

 I struggled to understand why Larys Strong was so invested in their wellbeing though, and so too struggled King Aegon, who looked at the man with a mix of frustration and curiosity. 

“No, my lord, I could not lead them.” Larys said eventually. “But,” he pointed a crooked finger toward me, “Ser Gwayne could.”

[nowoyas]

Koi no Yokan 2: notes on nishinoya yuu (Nishinoya Yuu/Reader)

Prev - Next - M.list - Ao3

Summary: Your suitor orbits around you like the sun. How can you help but to observe him?

Warnings and tags: none in particular for this chapter!

Word count: 4400+

Nishinoya Yuu, character trait #1: does not do anything halfway.

You knew this even before you managed to pry his name from him, of course: aside from first-meeting marriage proposals, he practices to the fullest, moves fluidly in a way that's sort of enchanting. It's a little scary watching him, the way he throws his entire body into preventing the ball from hitting the floor. His recruitment efforts are the same: full-bodied and enthusiastic.

It follows that he'd double down immediately following your official introduction. His recruitment tactics appear to be tied directly into his determination to get you to marry him. Until yesterday, you'd come to expect being immediately greeted and complimented upon your arrival in the gym, so it's hardly surprising to hear a shout of your name as you fuss with the tongue of your shoe this morning.

"Good morning, [name]-san! Please agree to marry me today!"

A startled laugh bubbles out of you. You look up to greet him as he approaches. "Morning, Nishinoya-senpai. Do you, like, mine that energy from somewhere? I could use some."

He laughs, shakes his head. "No, sorry, it's all naturally made right here." He thumps his chest. "You'll have to plug me in if you wanna steal any."

"Fine, fine, you can keep your secrets, but you're still gonna have to ask me nine-hundred and ninety-six more times."

He huffs, helps you to your feet. "I'll get there in no time, just you wait!"

"Uh-huh, sure." You roll your eyes.

"So what are you thinking so far?"

"Thinking?"

"About joining as our manager! We'll look really cool with three managers, you know. And I gotta keep you close so I can convince you to marry me!"

"Right." You snort. "One, I'm pretty sure Yachi-san hasn't agreed yet, either, which means you might still end up with just two even if I agree, but—two—I've been so caught up with just trying to figure out what to call everyone and make half a sense of what's going on when you guys play that I've got no brain space left to figure out if I actually wanna do this, sorry. No decisions yet."

"Do you have plans for lunch, then? I can teach you, so you know how awesome we are when you watch our practice match later."

Right, the club adviser had told all of you yesterday that he'd accepted a last-minute practice match. "No plans, no."

"Great! You were in 1-5, right? I'll come kidnap you."

You're not sure saying you're free necessarily counts as agreeing, but, shit, you do need the help. "Fine, fine, go warm up or whatever. I'm pretty sure you're not here to flirt with me."

"Excuse you, I was born to flirt with you!"

"Senpai," you say, firm yet playful. "Go practice."

Yachi is staring at you in awe when you greet her. "How do you have the strength of heart to actually flirt? I think my heart would explode if I even tried!"

"Flirting?" You tilt your head. "I mean, he was probably flirting. I was just—bantering or something. I dunno."

"Is… is there a difference? Ah! Not that I'm trying to argue with you or anything, just—"

You laugh, shake your head. "You're fine. I'm just giving him some time to figure himself out, and then I'm sure he'll forget I even exist. In the meantime, might as well have fun with it, right?"

~

Nishinoya Yuu, character trait #2: surprisingly helpful.

You very nearly forgot, over the course of the morning, that you had agreed to eat lunch with your suitor. (Note to self: get used to thinking of him by name before you accidentally call him "my suitor" where someone can hear you.) He's happy to remind you, chiefly by showing up at the door to your classroom and scaring you shitless by shouting your name. Between the way you visibly startle and the part where you've been sought out by name twice in the past few weeks, he's really risking letting your classmates know you're a real person and not just part of the background.

Blessedly, he does not greet you with his usual. The last thing you need right now is for your classmates to think about the two of you. Thinking about you at all is annoying enough.

You grab your lunch and meet him at the door, already sighing with a smile. "Someone didn't forget, I see."

He mocks offense as you fall into step beside him. "What did I do to make you think I could ever forget you?"

"Hm, I think it's just your general vibe?"

He huffs, crosses his arms. "I'll have to set you straight, then!"

"Looking forward to it. Where, exactly, are we going, by the way?"

"The roof! It's nice out today."

"And if I'm afraid of heights?"

"You're not, but I'll protect you, anyway!"

You laugh, let him lead you to a secluded corner of the rooftop. "You're so confident. I really could be, you know."

"You probably wouldn't bring it up like that if you were. And most people scared of heights don't spend their lunch staring out of the third floor window."

"Point taken." You settle in, spread out your bento box as he produces his own.

"Your lunch looks so good," he says. "Did you make it yourself?"

He's edging dangerously close to a raw wound, and this here is why you're so adamant on remaining detached. "Uh, yeah. Didn't feel like cooking much last night."

He notices the shift in your tone. Nods. Before he can decide to do something stupid and pry into your personal life, you redirect.

"Alright, Senpai, let's get started. I seem to recall someone was going to help me figure out what's happening in volleyball so I'm not totally lost this afternoon?"

He brightens up in an instant. "Right! I hope you brought your notebook, this one's gonna be on the test."

He laughs when you do actually pull a small notebook out of your pocket, along with a pen. "Ready."

"Perfect! Okay, so..."

To his credit, he clearly knows what he's talking about. You'd hope so, given that he's, you know, a volleyball player, but even so, he explains the sport to you in simple, easy terms. He's surprisingly patient, pauses to let you take notes as he goes over the different positions. Swells with pride as he explains his own position—libero, apparently—and takes extra time to explain it in detail. The fact that he's a libero seems to be the reason you never see him spiking in practice like everyone else—he's not allowed to when it comes to matches.

More than his explanations, you can't help but notice the way he talks about volleyball: eyes lit up, somehow even more animated than usual. Like it's something he loves, instead of just something he does.

…you can't remember the last time you felt that way about something.

"So what I'm getting from this, thanks to my very detailed notes and your very useful explanations…" You make a show of reviewing your notes before you continue. "PVP 'Don't Let the Ball Touch the Floor'. That's it."

He tosses his head back with laughter. "Please marry me."

"Give me a rundown of everyone's names so I don't have to ask and make it awkward, ask another nine hundred and ninety-five times, and sure."

He does just that—rough description, full name, year, and, just for your benefit, he lists what positions they play, too.

"Honestly, the best way to learn is gonna be to watch specific players during a match instead of just watching the ball. You'll figure it out pretty quick just by seeing how each position actually acts on the court."

You nod. "Alright, I can do that. And, uh, thanks for all your help today. I really do appreciate it."

He flashes a grin your way. "You can thank me by starting with watching the libero today. I'll play better if I know your eyes are on me."

You roll your eyes as you start packing up your lunch. "Right. I'll watch someone today, at least."

He walks you back to your classroom, waves you off with a too-loud "see you at practice later!". Leaves you standing in the hall next to your classroom door with a lingering smile on your lips.

~

Nishinoya Yuu, character trait #3: horrible for your image.

Lunch left you with a buzzy sort of anticipation for the afternoon. Shimizu has given you the rundown on what you need to do today. You and Yachi will be scorekeeping during the practice match while she keeps stats. Easy enough.

Before that, though, Shimizu asks one of you to help carry and set out the jerseys. You volunteer immediately, mostly because you feel like you'll be less likely to get inundated with guys asking you if they can help you carry things if they're not there. Yachi stays back to set out chairs.

This is how, just after the team from the other school arrives, you finish stacking jerseys on a chair and are immediately assaulted—or maybe graced?—by the sight of twelve shirtless athletes.

This is how, cheeks burning too hot, you find yourself with your face in your hands, eyes peeking through your fingers, unable to tear them away from lean, muscular torsos in every direction.

This is how Nishinoya finds an opening to laugh at you, the bastard, like you're just supposed to know where to look right now. He waggles his eyebrows, grins smugly at you.

"See anything you like, [name]-san?"

"Oh shut up," you reply, voice pitching into an embarrassing whine in reply.

He leans in close, grin widening. "I think that's a yes. You know, if you just married me, you wouldn't need to be shy about it—"

Before you can hit him, you find that one of the other guys has already beat you to the (in this case, literal) punch. Another second year, you're pretty sure—if you remember your notes from lunch correctly, the name Ennoshita comes to mind. "How many times do we have to tell you not to scare the new managers off? Quit trying to flirt and put your shirt on."

"I'm not scaring her off!" he protests even as he grabs his jersey. "Right?"

You try your best not to come across too embarrassed when you lift your head from your hands. "I dunno, you might be," you tease. "Nine hundred and ninety-four, by the way."

He pulls his shirt on at last, saving you from having to think too hard about his bare chest. Ennoshita gives him a purposeful look, and he pouts and rushes off to playfully bully a third year. (Per Nishinoya: Azumane, but everyone calls him Asahi; be harsh with him, he needs to strengthen his heart. You will not be doing that.) Before he launches into whatever he has to say to Azumane, you swear you catch him casting a worried look back you-ways.

It feels so out of place on him that you're sure you imagined it.

~

Nishinoya Yuu, character trait #4: serious (only when playing volleyball?).

The guys have a sort of aura that washes over them the moment they step onto the court. One moment: bickering, (jokingly?) threatening one another, at least three visibly anxious to the point where even you (just learned their names sort of, still checking your notes whenever you can get away with it) can tell they're anxious about the practice match. The next: silent, determined looks, a sort of dignity that leaves both you and Yachi stunned.

When the time comes, you and Yachi sit by the scoreboard with Shimizu, who sits off to the side with a notebook and pencil in hand. Your task is simple enough: if the ref signals a point for Karasuno, you flip the number up one. If he signals a point for Ougi Nishi, that's Yachi's job. The signals were not clarified to either of you so far, but Shimizu assures you that those two, at least, will be obvious, and you'll have time to pick the others up as you go.

Kageyama starts the match off the way you've traditionally assumed volleyball to be: tall guy hit ball real hard. The difference is, outside of the practices you've seen so hard, the sheer impact leaves the gym silent.

The ref raises an arm towards Karasuno's side of the court. Yeah, okay, that signal's obvious enough. You flip the score as the guys cheer. Ougi Nishi looks utterly stunned, and oh—maybe that serve was amazing even to people who are actually experienced in volleyball. Nishinoya did mention that Kageyama is pretty well-known as a good player.

Oh, right. He also told you to watch specific players to learn a bit more about the positions.

For now, you keep your eyes on Kageyama for a few points. He's a… setter, you think it was? He'll be the only one on Karasuno's side of the court playing that position if he doesn't get switched out, so it seems like a good place to start.

"E-everything's so fast," Yachi breathes. "How do you even keep track of that?"

You nod, lean over a bit. "Nishinoya-senpai suggested watching specific players at a time to get a good sense for what they're actually doing, instead of just watching the ball."

"Ohh. Then… I'll watch Hinata. Who're you watching?"

"Kageyama-san. It seemed like the easiest—"

The ball that had just left Kageyama's hands hit the ground in an instant. At some point, Hinata had entered the equation.

"…what was that? Wasn't that way faster than the other spikes?"

Shimizu laughs softly beside you. "Those two are the only ones who can pull that quick off. It's a big part of Karasuno's offense."

"It's amazing," Yachi says.

You nod in silence. Flip the score as another point comes.

"If you're even one step behind him, you can't catch up," Shimizu says. "And if you focus on him…"

Three of Ougi Nishi move to block Hinata. The one with the shaved head—Tanaka, close with Nishinoya, part of Shimizu's fan club—spikes in turn, unbothered by anyone at all.

"…then someone else on the court will punish you for it."

You glance back at her. At the smile on her lips—a little prideful, understated and overly pretty. No wonder Nishinoya and Tanaka are obsessed with her.

Karasuno takes the first set, leading by several points. For the second set, you switch targets. You did sort of promise you'd watch Nishinoya for a little bit, and it's not like that different-colored jersey doesn't make your eyes naturally draw his way anyway. For some reason, he's in an orange version of what everyone else is wearing. You're pretty sure anyone with even slightly less confidence wouldn't be able to pull it off.

"Hey, Shimizu-senpai?"

"Mm?"

"Why does Nishinoya-senpai wear a different-colored jersey, anyway?"

"Oh, that's because he's the libero. Liberos have to follow a bunch of different rules that don't apply to the other players, so he wears a different color to make it easy for the referee to catch it if he violates one of these rules."

You wince. "Ouch. So it's literally to force eyes on him?"

"Basically."

"I think I'd hate that," Yachi says.

"Kinda suits him, though."

You settle into watching and score-keeping, your eyes tracking Nishinoya as he plays. He's fluid, confident. Moves for the ball almost before you recognize that he would even need to. More than once, he's in exactly the right spot on the court, like he knew he'd need to be there. You'd noticed the bruises on his arms, correctly assumed they came from volleyball after some time watching him play, but now you fully understand exactly where they come from—the force of the spikes he picks up, the way he throws himself onto the floor with reckless abandon just to get the ball up. Every now and then, you catch sight of his expression—pure focus on nothing but the ball, nothing but the game. It's enough to make you shiver.

He's entrancing.

When the match is over, Karasuno winning two to zero, you help where you can (which isn't much—apparently, the guys are supposed to handle all the cleaning and you're supposed to sit there and look pretty) and listen to Yachi gush to Hinata. They're… slightly incomprehensible.

"That was so—so—it was like—"

"Like a feeling of whoosh, right!?"

"Exactly!"

From behind you, in a tired voice: "Am I the only one who can't understand half of anything he says?"

You stifle a laugh. This one would be Tsukishima, then. The overly tall one. He's sarcastic and kind of an asshole. He's not rude all the time, though. He's probably more your type of person than most people here. "I think it's one of those things where you just have to let the feeling carry you instead of trying to understand."

"Yeah, that's great if you can feel anything. I just feel confused. Or maybe annoyed."

"Hey, it's a feeling. That's something."

Yachi catches your eye by bowing to Hinata. "It's just that you guys are so amazing, and I'm—I mean, a townsperson B like me joining such amazing people is—"

…yeah, you get that.

"Now that you mention it, I played that role, too!"

"Eh? Y-you did?"

Kageyama snickers behind Hinata, and whatever moment Yachi had been having has already passed as the boys dissolve into their usual bickering. You guess she's just… hung up on low self-esteem? Is that all this is?

You change out with Yachi, mind wandering as you get into your school uniform. It's not like you need friends. There's a reason you're at the end of the first term and still—mostly—eating lunches alone. You don't care about all that stuff. You've got more important things to worry about. But…

She's skittish, and you kind of want to protect her like the little sister you never had. That's it.

"Hey, Yachi-san?"

She squeaks, head snapping to you like you've caught her doing something wrong. "S-sorry!"

You blink. "…for what?"

It's sort of amazing how clearly you can see her train of thought careening as she panics, trying to figure out what, exactly, you expect her to apologize for right now. She stammers something, and you laugh.

"I just wanted to ask if you wanted to walk home together. If we both decide to do this, it'll be good to actually be friends, right?"

…not that you think you'll do this.

"Oh! U-um, sure, I just think—I mean, are you okay with being friends with someone like me?"

"You realize you're just, like, a normal girl, right?" She flinches at the words, giving you a wounded look. You sigh. "That… came out wrong. I mean you're not uniquely bad or something. You're not any worse than anyone else at this school."

"Oh… I'm sorry. I guess I just…"

"Get caught up in your head, right?" You smile, tilt your head as you finish adjusting your bow. "Me too. I think my 'caught up in my head' is just a little lower-energy than yours, that's all."

"R-really? You always seem so cool!"

You laugh, slipping your bag onto your shoulder as she does the same. "Thanks. Trust me, I'm very careful to do that on purpose. I don't want people approaching me just because they feel bad, you know?"

"I mean, you do always look a little lonely at lunch and stuff, but—oh my god I'm so sorry that felt bad to say—"

"Oi. If you keep apologizing, I'm literally going to tell you not to apologize to me. Then you're going to apologize for apologizing, and I'm gonna tell you to stop apologizing, and then you're going to apologize for apologizing again, and we're going to get caught in an endless feedback loop and die in a vicious cycle of unnecessary apologies. Is that what you want?"

She pauses. Laughs. "No, I guess not."

"As for looking lonely… I didn't realize people could see that, I guess. But I'm the one to blame. I'd probably have more friends if I really tried, but, you know. Didn't feel like it, I guess."

"Is that why you agreed to try out managing?"

You shrug. "Kind of? It was more just that it's something to do. Keeps me out of the house and all that."

"Do you think you'll stay on?"

"Well…" You trail off. "I don't have a strong reason not to. I'm just not sure I have a strong reason to stick with it. Y'know?"

She nods.

"What about you? I overheard you talking with Hinata a little bit earlier. You didn't sound too convinced. Impressed, maybe, but not convinced."

She rubs the back of her neck. "I… I want to, I just…" A sigh. "I don't know if I should? Everyone's so passionate, and I'm just… here. I guess it'd be rude."

"I think it's fine to do it just because you want to."

"Do you not want to?"

"I don't not want to." And that's the issue, isn't it? "I guess that's my hangup. Too lukewarm. It's something to do, and they're kinda fun, and it's cool to watch. Is that enough reason to say yes?"

She watches the sky as she responds. "Earlier, before you got to the changing room, Shimizu-senpai was saying that she didn't really know anything about volleyball or being a manager when she joined. She said it's enough to be a little curious at the start, and the rest can come with time."

You walk the rest of the way in silence. At your turn, you stop and offer her a smile. "This is me. Thanks for walking back with me. I'll think about managing if you do."

She smiles. "Sure! It's a deal!"

~

Nishinoya Yuu, character trait #5: oddly considerate.

The shout of your name comes not long after leaving the house in the morning. You'd spent the night the usual way—cook, clean, finish homework, play video games until you can't justify waiting up any longer— so you're nice and groggy when a certain someone chases you down.

"I thought that looked like you! Have you always lived on this street?"

You raise an eyebrow. "Good morning. You're starting to graduate to stalker, you know."

He winces. "I swear I'm not. Look, I live right there. That girl leaving the house right now is my older sister." He waves at the girl in question—she's definitely way older than the both of you, dressed in work clothes instead of school clothes as she leaves a nearby house. Long, dark hair. From this distance, probably taller than Nishinoya. "Nee-san! Kaede!"

She jolts, looks up at the shouting. "It's too early in the morning for this! What do you want?"

"I'm trying to prove I'm not a stalker!"

She looks at you. Looks back at Nishinoya. Laughs. "He's totally a stalker. Please get him arrested before his six-in-the-morning shouting bothers the neighbors. Again."

…thinking back, you do recall more than one study session being interrupted by loud neighbors over the course of your life. "Oh my god you're actually my neighbor. I think you've actually woken me up before."

The thought is… honestly? A bit unsettling. What are the chances he's up-to-date on neighborhood gossip from two years ago?

He grins sheepishly. "Sorry?"

"You'd better be," you grumble. "Let me guess, this proves we're soulmates?"

"Hey, you're the one who brought up soulmates, not me. I'm sort of glad I caught you, though." He rubs the back of his neck, looks actually worried as he mulls over something. "Are you like, really okay with the whole 'marry me' thing and all that?"

You blink in surprise. "…I'm sort of surprised you're even asking, actually."

"Well, yeah, of course I'm asking. Chikara joked about it yesterday, but I don't actually want to scare you off or make you uncomfortable. I'll stop and not chase you down on the way to school and all that if you want."

…huh. Okay. Interesting. Way more thoughtful than he looks.

Not that he doesn't look thoughtful. Or that he looks un-thoughtful. Thoughtless. Just… you know what? I'm losing the thread here. Whatever. He's thoughtful, okay?

Still, you smile. Tilt your head. "I'm not uncomfortable, Senpai. Weirdly, even less uncomfortable knowing that you care enough to check."

"Of course! No real man's gonna make a lady uncomfortable if he can avoid it!"

You snort. "Somehow, I feel like that's the reverse of the usual thought process, but, sure. I'll take it."

He breaks off into a yawn before he can reply. Oddly, he's kind of cute when he—stop that.

The urge to tease him, however, is too strong to resist. "Aren't you normally the hyperactive one in the mornings? What, couldn't sleep last night? Stay up playing video games or something?"

He glares playfully. "For your information, I was studying."

"Ooh, studying. Definitely not cramming everything last-minute before final exams because you're worried about the Tokyo games, right?"

He does not reply. Got it in one.

"You realize how much less it'd suck for you if you actually studied the rest of the time?"

"How do you know I don't study the rest of the time?"

You arch a brow. "I'll be nice and say it was just because I said 'cramming' for finals. People who study the material all semester don't cram."

"I bet you don't have any trouble with studying at all," he grumbles. "My brain's been melting. It just rolls right off."

You huff. "Do you want some study tips? It's not like I can teach you the actual material, being your underclassman and all, but, like, I'm willing to bet actual money you're just rereading your notes all the times and then feeling like you're barely understanding anything. I can probably point you to a more effective approach."

His jaw drops. "What are you, psychic? I'll buy you a popsicle after practice today."

"That one's also because you're cramming last minute. Most people who study the whole time figure out all the tricks that make studying actually useful." You roll your eyes. "And you don't have to buy me anything. It's fine."

He stares at you a long, long moment. "I sort of feel like you might be judging me, but I don't care. Marry me."

"Is that a yes to the study tips, or like what?"

"Yes. Please."

You laugh. "Alright, then. If you actually listen to what I tell you and ask another nine hundred ninety-three times, I'll think about marrying you."

Tags: @deeplightgarden @idonthaveanameideayet @dusstory

[yoon-topias]

Yoontopia | Chapter 8 { Unpacking Desires }

⟡ Warnings: Strong language, depression, mental health issues, references to self harm, references to violence, references to sexual assault, manic episodes, smoking, risky behavior, jealousy, angst and Smut.

⟡ 18+ (minors DNI, some chapters have mature content)

⟡ Best friend's older brother x OC

⟡ Summary: Violet packing up her life when Yoongi gets back it turns into more than just unpacking, but unpacking their inner thoughts. letting the boundaries slip more than they have ever.

⟡ 5.6k words

Violet Pov:

As I sit here on the floor of my room clothes all around me piling up, starting with clothes everything else is pretty much staying here. I have a limit as to what I can bring. We are only using Tae's car. Necessities only is what Tae said. He also said he would come back up in the first few weeks to check in on me so he can bring some stuff up on a second run. I really appreciate that he is still in my life, but at what cost does it bring to both of us? I know he took our break up differently than I did. 

Me seeing it as a stepping stone in my soulmates path. He will always be one and we're connected on a different level than others, but he isn't THE one. Tae had the most trouble accepting it even until this point. I see the way he looks at me and I still look at him like that just with a little bit of a different gaze, his just has never changed full of admiration, longing, certainty of what I’m to him. The role I play in his life.  

Looking at the photo frame on my dresser of him and I, standing up from my pile of clothes. We are in our fuzzy bear onesies on the floor with me between his legs and messy hair, his cheeks are painted a rosy color. I wanted one cause' he is my bear, and he said "Well if I'm your bear don't I need to have one too miss?" Every Saturday night after the club or date night we needed up in those onesies on my floor playing uno and whoever won got whatever they said. In my case it was head and in his he wanted ninety-nine percent of the time sixty-nine cause' in his head we both won.  In the photo was the one time I made him put his wants first and he got head. 

I smile thinking about the times with him. What it would be like if life never came in between us. Those pink squishy cheeks I loved so much will always be a weakness of mine. 

Do I regret letting him go? It's hard cause if you ask me right off the bat I'm going to say yes, but I know if I look at the bigger picture no. If you love something, let it go. I was only ever holding him back from finding his true soulmate, but I can't let him go fully. My heart will always hold a piece of him like he holds a piece of mine. When I told him how I felt about it all he tried, god he tried to understand it but accepted what I chose and told me “I’m always by your side no one and I mean no one will come before you.” and I smiled at him and nodded my head. I knew there was no going against him; he had a determined look on his face full of certainty. Him and Scarlett really make a good team if I do say so myself, but I don't know if she is his soulmate. We never go that far into it. He always stops me and says he doesn't know because it's different from him and I, but that's how it should be different from him and I. I’ll let her take my place as long as I can have him some of the time to see that boxy smile. 

"Hey Vi, I'm back." I jump as I hear Yoongi's voice, getting lost in my mind has always been a weakness of mine but it's nice to think about those times. Me and Tae, a small smile curves my lips up. "Gosh Yoon you can't scare me like that!" setting the frame back down. I'll decide later if I'll bring it with me.  It's not like I don't have the pic in the special album labeled in my phone along with hundreds. "Looks like you made so much progress in the time I was gone." with a hint of sarcasm in his voice, Point at all the clothing in piles on the floor. "Hey! I'm doing my best to decide. I'll for sure need my work attire but then? I don't know, okay. I'm gonna be there alone."  

He steps over the pile by the door and opens my dresser drawer and takes out my kuromi pajamas. "Well for starters these will be going with you." But then what am I gonna sleep in tonight? Eh I'll just wear one of his shirts, not like I haven't before. Many nights at their house when we were younger I would stay over unplanned and he would always bring one of his shirts into the room for me to sleep in. He may be smaller than me in weight but the man truly loves oversized shirts which is much appreciated, with Tae I couldn't wear his since he wore more fitted shirts.  The small things really make girls feel like a princess. Huh? I also wanna feel like that sometimes. Not that Tae didn't though he fucking made me feel like a queen. It’s the small thing though sometimes. 

Without even asking Yoongi bends down and grabs the pile of work clothes,  starts to re-fold them since I honestly just pulled them out and tossed them in a pile not caring of making more work for myself. "Hey you don't gotta. You can just sit on the bed while I do this." 

"A peasant is really gonna make the princess do it all? Hell no." he laughs and starts to put them in the box. Looking down at the ground I have a lot to sort through. “Fine but I owe you.” he scoffs “You owe me? And what do I get?” Honestly I don't know what to offer him and then I tap my finger on my chin thinking “That's right, think all you want with that pretty mind of yours, you won't be able to give me what I want.” he lets out a small laugh folding up a pair of my black slacks “I’m thinking I’ll find something.” I walk over to the pile of clothes that's not sorted at all, drop to my knees in front of it. I'll start by looking at the sizing and seeing if it still fits and if it doesn't I'll just leave it here for safekeeping if I ever fit into it again, a terrible habit I have if I ever become small enough to fit them again… As I'm looking at the sizes there is a looming Silence over both of us but ya know when you're with someone and you don't always have to be talking to fill the void. Yeah that's me and Yoongi, we can just be near each other and be content. 

A lot of people think I'm too oblivious to most things, but in actuality I'm looking far into things to the point it consumes me. The words my father has imprinted in my mind will forever stick with me "run" and so I'm always searching for the way out of everything, with Yoongi? Yeah I decided long before it consumed me to run. Escape. I ran too quickly this time to even give it time to work out, but in my mind he never did like me just was messing with me. And me? I was never messing with him anytime we mindlessly flirted or even got close in touch. I craved it. Desired it. Ached for it. 

He on the other hand was out with girls left and right. Me? I was just waiting for him to notice me. Only me. 

When I finally decided I wasn't waiting Tae fell into my path at the right time. He got me out, went to the clubs and under the lights dancing in his arms I forgot about Min Yoongi even for a little bit.  The way our lips collided,  matched in sync I thought he was just gonna be a filler. No, Kim Taehyung isn't just filler, he is the glue that holds me together without even knowing how much he does for me. 

I wonder why Yoongi stopped his sexual escapades a while ago, after the first week of no girl rather multiple girls. His bed was a never ending revolving door as soon as he hit junior year. Can't blame him though most go through that phase, but why after those he would come to me like nothing ever changed even when I know for fact some of them turned into regulars. 

Too scared to sink into his intoxicating pull I distanced. He distanced. We both were a push and pull never ending tug of war of who will push a little further. Get a little closer. Pull the trigger. 

Neither of us pulled that trigger. Until now. 

Looking over at him almost done with his pile. "Yoon?" He hums in response, not looking up as he is working on folding a two piece suit of mine. "Why did you have all those girls? When you say I have only ever been the only one." he drops the top of the suit he was folding and looks up at me, his shaggy blonde hair tousled, wide eyes peeking through his bangs. "Huh? No, V this isn't the time for this conservation." 

"And why not?" Putting the last piece of clothing in the take pile dead eyeing him. "Cause Vi we have little time and I-I don't wanna lose any by talking about it." Why can't he just give me an answer anytime I made jokes about all the girls he got mad at and wouldn't talk to me for the day. Days even sometimes. 

"Was I not good enough to be a one nighter at least?" I scoff under my breath. 

His face contorts into disappointment. Anger. I know the look he has on his face, red is all he sees. I've seen it multiple times before when he gets like this sometimes even has blacked out from the anger and forgets what he says. We both aren't normal, I know that for a fact. . 

"Not good enough?" a deep scoff radiates from his chest. 

He steps over the clothes I just sorted and gets down on his knees in front of me looking me dead in the eyes, placing his hand under my chin so I can't look down, as I have a tendency of doing it. "You think I didn't wanna fuck you?" he bites his fucking lip. I don't know what to think I haven't seen him like this the way his voice rasps as he the words 'fuck you' like he's been holding it in for so long. He sounds lustful, Needy almost. He pulls my chin so his mouth meets my ear and takes a deep breath in like he is soaking me up. Fuck.  I never felt like this before and all he is doing is breathing. 

"You think I didn't see your purple panties before, love? Because I have and after I did unspeakable things in the shower holding myself back." he pulls back and looks me up and down with the most sinful eyes. Wrong time to be in just a sports bra and shorts cause' I can feel his gaze eating me without even touching me.  "Y-You saw?" he nods his head at me licking his lips. 

"Those shirts don't hide everything, sweets. As for those girls they were what I used to hold myself back from taking you, making you mine and consuming you all for myself. Don't forget it. You're one of the reasons I lose my mind." 

After saying his last words he presses a kiss on my forehead and stands up. "Now let's finishing packing we don't have a lot of time, sweets. I'ma need a fix after this. Ya know the deal."

Looking at him walking over to finish folding what he dropped and placing it in the box playing with his tongue ring between his teeth was a habit he picked up. I have no clue what to say. I guess I just read him wrong, but those repeat girls? He'll need to give me more on them even if it's been months since his last. My heart feels like it's beating out of my chest that I could have a heart attack and die at any moment. That voice I have heard before when he is stern with Hans and me. He only uses it when we're in trouble or he wants his point across. What did I bring out of him? but I  want to hear it again, no need to.

"What about the repeat customers? huh?" His eyes bolt over to me running his tongue on his inner cheek. 

"What bout’ em? cause' it's only one and she was escaping a situation-ship the same as me. Little unspoken contract Vi both escaping reality ended long ago. She worked out with hers, but will I get my own sweet escape? huh Vi?" 

I can't answer him cause in the back of my head Tae was that a sweet escape just like Jackson. He was doing exactly what I was doing escaping reality that we both were in. Maybe we aren't that different after all in some aspects. The way his voice rasped out 'my own sweet escape' runs chills through my body like a cold winter gust of wind. "We all want our own sweet escape Yoon." 

Push and pull. It's a game. Our game. 

"But will you be my sweet escape Vi?" he's never been this upfront he is pulling. No reeling me in like the largest fish in the pond wanting to just give up and let him, but it isn't fair we know if we cave now we both will blaze in hell's fire, but who doesn't get burned a little along the way?

"We'll see Yoon. Who will cave and become the sweet escape first." 

but what Violet doesn't know she already has become his sweet escape. He lost. He caved first. She has built a home. His utopia, hung up pictures, placed a rug, fuzzy blankets everywhere and those fucking stars. She already invaded his utopia and became the sweet escape. 

"You're on sweets. Ya know I love a challenge." he smirks 

He plays it off like she hasn't already ruled his life for years. The escape with the girls? nah that was just getting emotions out so his utopia wasn't clouded with fantasies. There is a reason he never looked the girls in the face one position ever. so he could zone into his fantasies even if it was just a daydream as he railed another girl. 

He just smirks and turns to my dresser starting to pack up the rest of my comfy clothes. I knew there was so much going on in his mind, I just wish I knew it all. Can't I be the one to know everything? But I know it needs to be earned, it won't be just given he’s just like me. We may have known each other for years and grown up together but we never pushed the boundary of our minds. Only one other person has been allowed in mine, Tae and it wasn't easily given at all. Just how much do I let him in? Before I leave. 

His back is faced away as he is taking out the folded pajamas of my second drawer of cozy clothes. Cozy clothes are my weakness. Clearly.  "Who is taking you there Vi?" 

Oh fuck. "Uh Taehyung." I bite down on my bottom lip. 

He doesn't just turn back, he slowly turns his gaze towards me and squints his eyes at me. raising my hands up in defense "Okay okay I know you don't love him, but it was before this." pointing my finger back and forth between him and I. 

"Also in my defense I didn't wanna take you away from the shop, and you can't move with a motorcycle Mister."  rolling my eyes at him. 

He scoffs and poking his tongue in his cheeks "Could've used Jin's or Ma's. Ya know I would've dropped everything to help. Also next time you roll your eyes at me you’ll regret it Vi."

“I guess we’ll just how bad I’ll regret it then.” 

Standing up, finishing my pile, taking the ‘not keeping’ portion just to throw it in a drawer I'll fix it when I get back. As soon as I get up he takes the clothes from me and places them in the drawer and mumbles 'I'll fix it when she's gone'  honestly I don't know what I'd do without him. He is always one step ahead of me. I wouldn't be able to make it without him. That's why I'm trying my best to not break it before it even has started.   

"I know you would've, but that's the issue I couldn't have asked you if a small part of it was running from you.  Now could I?" Placing the ‘keep clothes’ on the bed.  He grabs my wrist and pulls me around to look at him. 

"I'm a reason you are running?" His eyes show so much emotion. Pain. Guilt. Uncertainty. They shine with a million stars twinkling in them ready to fall. His emotions have always been a driving force for him. Which I love about him. He puts all of himself into everything, but it can be his weakness. 

Chewing on my bottom lip, unable to voice it to him. How do I tell him? I can't. He is staring me waiting intently under his breath he says 'fucking stop' and I don't know what that pertains to. Stop what? Yoongi lifts his hand, placing his thumb under my bottom lip and pulls it from my teeth crewing on it. "You gotta stop that. I can't take it Vi." 

"Can't take it?" his hand moves to my cheek, rubs it up and down. 

"For fucks sake please stop biting your lip, it's driving me insane. No more questions about it, just stop it Violet." afterward running his tongue ring across his teeth I can hear the metal going side to side under his teeth, a habit he got after getting it. He used my name, not just my nickname..all I can say is. "Okay." 

"Vi, I didn't mean to come off harsh I-"

"Nah I get it Yoon." I pull his hand away from my face and walk into the bathroom to start getting the things I won't use until getting to the new place. He in turn follows me of course he can never let things just be, squatting down, opening the cabinet to take out the hair tools I will not be using for the party needing to pack them up as I stand my eyes meeting him in the mirror. 

Locked eyes staring at each other he comes closer and reaches around to grab the hair tools out of my hands, setting them on the counter. "Vi." I hum in response. He hasn't taken his eyes off mine since I stood up. My heart races. Why does he make me feel this way when he talks in that low raspy voice, never did I look at it that way when I heard it before. Yeah it would make appearances in my dreams, but in real life I push all those away into my mind for later of course. 

My dreams are where I escape, learning how to lucid dream has been my only escape from this world. Besides when I’m with the three people, they can take me to solace for a little bit. Hans, Tae, and Yoongi. But sometimes I even need to escape them. 

  He steps behind me closer and I feel his chest against my back, taking a shaky deep breath trying to regulate my emotions. Hell I have looked some of the worst offenders in the eyes, but his make me crumble. It makes no sense. How can I look at people who have done the worst crimes imaginable, have a normal conversation with them but he says my name and I forget how to breathe. 

His hand runs down my arm leaving goosebumps littered on my skin as he makes his way down my forearm. "Do you know how hard it is holding in how much I want to fuck you? claim you. Make you mine." his fingers now playing with mine looking down to see his fingers skimming over mine lightly. "Look at me." 

His fingers stop and just clasps his hand around mine tightly. I lift my head and I'm met with the most intense gaze I have witnessed from him, hearing the metal scrape his teeth as he sucks in a breath. Placing my other hand on my hip as I look for some comfort in myself which only makes him pull my hand off myself, placing his hand where mine was. 

I feel insecure looking at him like this, being this close even though it's all I ever have wanted. "Want to know why I can't handle it huh?" 

"Please." Might as well be nice right? but another side of me is thinking about my black silk sheets in my dreams. The way they feel against my hand as I reach to grip them in my most unholiest of moments. 

Gripping my hip tighter and pushing me against the counter. "when you wear nothing but these-" pulling at the top of my shorts waistband letting them snap back to my body. Hand reaching up very slowly, his eyes look down at my sports bra and back up to my eyes. You think I'm gonna say no? Nah if I don't take my chance now my mind makes me think will I lose the one time I'll feel his touch like this. I'm greedy, I know another terrible habit of mine. I hear the metal again scraping, I wonder what he is thinking cause his hand has stopped at my rib cage. 

His hand on my rib cage makes it feel like they are crushing everything but also healing the heart that never has had a chance to breathe fully. The metal noise might just become my new euphoria in my dreams with the little smirk he displays.  

I feel his middle finger start to rub circles on my body and the feeling could send me to heaven and I'd get kicked out in the first five seconds from my thoughts. See you all in hell is all that i can think. 

"Your skin Vi has always been so soft, it's like those damn silk sheets. I wanna be wrapped up in you. Smothered by you, Fuck." he groans at the end of his sentence his eyes aren't trained on mine anymore but look at where his hand is. Yoongi looks like he is having a mental battle with himself. I can see it and feel it from the way he squeezes my other hand yet so gently with lightly rubbing circles on my skin. He's been easy to read for years for me. I know he has these battles. I just didn't know the extent until now. I need to give him some reassurance I don't want him going to war with himself. 

"What if I'd liked to be in your sheets with you wrapped up? Maybe I got you the black silk sheets to match mine, to make you think of me in your bed." 

He squeezes my hip, looks at me. "I've always thought of you Princess. You're getting me sidetracked from my thoughts." 

"Don't you mean pulling you into your thoughts Yoon."

He inhales harshly says "fuck it" under his breath lets go of my hip, pulls the hand where we're connected turns me around making me gasp in shock by his actions.   I automatically look up at him. I feel his knee placed between my thighs. "You're mine now,  Got it Violet?" 

"We're not official and we are not placing labels on this while I'm away." pointing my finger back and forth between him and I. As much as I want to say 'I'm yours' and get on my fucking knees for him I can't just cave and place something on this when I'm about to not even be here for a year or more. I need to be rational and not listen to my subby mind to submit to him like all I ever have wanted to do.

He places his hand on my jawline, thumb rubbing up and down on my cheek he really knows how to hit my spots. My weaknesses. It's taking everything in me not to rub up on his knee. "Baby you've always been mine since day one. We're intertwined, my little fish." 

I gulp letting out a breath that I have been holding in way too long. The air fills my lungs and I feel like I'm high. "What makes you say that?"

"Cause the moment I set my eyes on you as that dumb Immature boy you've always been the brightest thing in my life Vi, shining when everything else was dull."

His smile isn't just a small one it's his gummy smile that makes me turn into mush, taking his hand away from my face he places them both on the counter trapping me in "I need a fix VI." looking at his chest rising up and down "Well ya gotta let me out so I can go get one." tapping on his forearm. 

"You just don't get it Vi." he lets out a sigh and adjusts so his eyes are in line with mine. "You. You're the fix I need." the eyes that looked at me with so much guilt minutes ago he flips so fast and I'm not sure I can understand how he flips so quickly. Yeah I did some research on his disorder but I never looked at the way he flips so quickly in a way like that. 

He's always been Yoongi and that's how he is. I'm used to it but in this sense I don't know where to feed off of his emotions  back and forth. Do I ignore his question that started this all, wait for it to come back up? I don't know. I was always playing with fire and I didn't know it. "Please Vi, just this once. remember we're each other’s until you're gone. I need a fix before it's gone." he licks his lips. He's staring not at my eyes anymore but trained on my lips. Those eyes look like they have never been fed before aching for something. "I'm Yours unt-" he doesn't even let me finish before his lips are pressed on mine greedily taking what is his. 

My lips are moisturized as for him they are cracked and dry, can't ever get him to use damn chapstick unless I put it on for him. The pit of my stomach is turning just like those butterflies he always seems to make erupt within me. Our lips move in sync with his roughness, I can feel the need behind each movement he makes. His hands at some point find their way to my hips one is squeezing but the other? It's tapping one finger at time from his pinky to thumb.

 One. Two. Three. Four. Five. 

But somehow this feeling makes me sink in deep to my own desires of this like a damn meditation pulling me in. His tongue asks for permission and I don't think twice of it letting him, Feeling his tongue ring against my tongue it's different. I have always thought what it felt like hell I dream about it. It's just a piercing but it's him that makes it different. Euphoric. 

My chest is rising up and down,  my heart is beating so fast that you'd need a defibrillator to bring me back to life after this. Does he know what he is doing to me? I'm questioning everything I have pushed so far down. We both release for a second both taking rapid breaths he says 'fuck' under his many breath and he is still tapping on my hip over and over. Why? I don't know but I don't want it to stop it's better than the fucking squeezing at this point. 

"One more." he breathlessly says and just attaches back to my lips he doesn't ask for permission this time but just moves in sync with my lips guess he got his chapstick for today. He's taking all the moisture from my lips as he is devouring me for all that I'm worth.  We both pull away and hesitate to stop. I can feel it. I know he can also. He bites my lip and he pulls away slowly and releases it from his teeth ending with one last peck on my lips. 

Slowly opening my eyes I'm met with his head tilted up to the ceiling breathing readily. "God you're an angel and I'm just-" bringing his eyes down to look at me again "Lucifer dragging you to hell with me." 

"But what if I'm already in hell Luci. You just haven't run across me."  I blink up at him, his lips part and hear the metal scrap along his teeth. His lips curve up. 

"If that's the case, I've found you and you're not going anywhere my Lilith." he squeezes my hips with both hands this time letting go reaching my hair tools and turns to walk out the bathroom to the boxes spread out across the floor. "Y-yoon!" I rush to follow him into the bedroom and he's looking down at the box he placed them in. There is a light tent of red to his cheeks. There's my Yoon. It makes me smile a little but I can't tease him about it. "You can't just take all the packing for yourself! How will I know where's what?" 

He lifts his dead up and walks over to me with the light blush across his cheeks and bends down to my ear "Guess you're gonna have to pack me up too then." brushing against my shoulder and walking to the living room. 

"You can't pack everything Yoon!"  I rushed after him. He is already taking a picture of him and I on the wall for me to take. "Who says I can't, I know what you need, you forget I set this whole place up with Hans."He's just walking around me as I'm trying to keep up with him. 

For someone who doesn't like to move let alone can fall asleep wherever he is this is another side of him I rarely see. "Where is this Yoon all the time?" he scoffs. "Don't get used to it. I'm still the sleep deprived Yoon you know who can sleep hours and still be sleepy. I just can't waste any time with you Vi." he is grabbing the tape and tapes up a box. "Not like I don't know what you need to survive." Crossing my arms leaning on the door frame. "and what's that?" adding emphasis on every word spoken to him. 

"Your purple pajamas, cuties, fuzzy blankets, fuzzy socks for winter, silk sheets, vanilla scented bubble bath, reassurance constantly and not in a bad way, and Hans." He's forgetting one thing but do I call him out on it? hell yes. 

"You're forgetting one thing." he slowly walks up to me eyes scanning up and down my body there goes that fucking metal. I'll be hearing in my dreams for the rest of my days in my silk sheets. I'm sure I'll spend countless nights there by myself. "Oh yeah? Tell me Lils." He never was one for names but now he is making a nickname out of a nickname? Doesn't shock me at all. 

"You Yoon." biting on my bottom lip I never have been this blunt let alone to him. He steps closer and tapping my chin like when he puts my helmet on when our eyes meet his are glittered with millions of glitter shining back at me. "Good Girl. Silly me, how can I forget about me? guess I just always have wrapped you up in my silk sheets taking you everywhere with me."

"What do you mean Yoons?" I blink in confusion. 

"Another time princess. Let's get you packed so we can finish this night off right. projector and stars." he kisses my forehead but it isn't just a peck he lingers there for a second before he pulls away smiling at me. I know not to push farther; we already have pushed way too many boundaries for now. "Okays Yoons, but you can't do everything!" 

"Try and stop me sweets." he shrugs as he walks to clear out my nightstand. "Also we will be talking about why you were runnin’ from me." 

I guess he didn't forget about it, just his emotions come out in waves changing paths quickly and I need to understand it more. Maybe I can ask Jin? or maybe do more research. I just want to learn every little quirk he has and why he does it.  Some things I got to witness but others I'm seeing how he toned them down with me. It just makes me wonder why he was toning down for my sake or his own. I'm seeing different sides to the man I have been infatuated with since I was a little girl and it makes me want to learn all of them. This time away I want to learn everything I can. Start from the beginning, learning about him not just through him being my friend's protective older brother, but for Min Yoongi, the man that takes me to my own little heaven in hell.

Thank you for reading. ₊˚⊹♡

Previous | Next Chapter 8.5

All rights belong to @/Yoon-Topias. Do not copy/ translate.

[tirkdi]

For the DVD commentary:

A century in, she began to worry.

It had been some time now since anyone but the two of them had a personal memory of the Black Heretic. She had hoped that the distance would allow him to regain some of his interest, some of his intensity, but if anything, it was the opposite.

She walked the lake beside him, the noon sun hot above. The grass was summer-green and unmoving – no natural wind to stir it, no Squallers to disrupt the stillness. The Grisha who would normally be training or playing around by the water were inside the Little Palace, avoiding the heat, but heat had never bothered either her or her son. Not after spending so many, many cold years.

The two of them walked the gravel path by the lake, the Little Palace behind them, rolling hills in front. The oprichniki the Tsar had given him for protection – spies, more like – kept the perimeter at a healthy distance.

"Still no Ilya." He made the observation sound tired, rehearsed. He spoke Suli, because he knew the oprichniki did not. "I made the Shadow Fold a hundred years ago, and there’s still no Ilya. Do you think he figured out how to die?"

"I know why you’re asking."

"Are you going to answer?"

She chanced a glance up at his face, the clench of his jaw. She wouldn’t push him on this farther now. "Do I think he figured out how to die? Perhaps," she admitted. Perhaps he had been too Grisha to die, or perhaps he had been just Grisha enough. Not unnatural they way she was. The way he was. And then, because she remembered the decades when her son had asked question after question about her life, about her wants, she added: "I like to think he would have found me hadn’t."

A fish jumped in the lake beside them, shattering the reflection of light on the pond. "Are you still scared of me?" he asked.

Damn her mouth and his memory. She sighed. "I’m scared for you. You’re waiting for something we may never find."

"Never is a very long time."

"I don’t need a lecture on eternity, boy."

A hint of a smile played on his lips. "It’s a long while since I’ve been a boy, Madraya."

"Then maybe you need the reminder."

He didn’t respond, and they walked the path together in silence, the scrape of pebbles beneath their feet the only sounds. Even the oprichniki moved quietly, conserving energy in the midday heat.

"We’ll be expanding the grounds of the Little Palace," he said, gesturing to a hill beside them. "Our expeditions to find Grisha children in other countries and bring them to safety have been increasingly fruitful. We’re going to need more space."

She looked in the direction her son indicated, the leaves on the trees unmoving without a hint of breeze. "Still working on your penance," she observed.

"My what?"

"Penance," she repeated. "For the Fold." Baghra had long since realized that life was cyclical for a reason – the straight line of immortality broke too many tethers to the world, made it impossible to keep one’s center. Without the threat of death, a practice of repair was the only thing that could bring one back into alignment with others, with nature. Wasn’t that repair why she was at the Little Palace in the first place?

"Penance." He rolled the word in his mouth as if he’d never heard it before. "That’s one idea, I suppose."

I briefly futzed around with the idea of this chapter being from Aleksander's point of view, and then I realized it would be so, so boring. I did not want to write 400 years of the type of depression going on in his head and you did not want to read it. It's not like Baghra is doing great at this point, either, but at least she's got coping mechanisms (shitty ones, but still!) So here we are. Bold is my commentary. *

A century in, she began to worry. Another one for 'mom of the millennium' award. She waited a century before she started worrying. "It's just a phase," she told herself, years one through ninety-nine.

It had been some time now since anyone but the two of them had a personal memory of the Black Heretic. She had hoped that the distance would allow him to regain some of his interest, some of his intensity, but if anything, it was the opposite.

She walked the lake beside him, the noon sun hot above. The grass was summer-green and unmoving – no natural wind to stir it, no Squallers to disrupt the stillness. The Grisha who would normally be training or playing around by the water were inside the Little Palace, avoiding the heat, but heat had never bothered either her or her son. Not after spending so many, many cold years. I don't go deep into this headcanon but I definitely believe that Baghra & Aleksander are sensitive to cold but not heat. There's a reason that Baghra keeps the fire going all the time, and though I think it's partly religious/superstition, I think a lot of it is just straight up trauma.

The two of them walked the gravel path by the lake, the Little Palace behind them, rolling hills in front. The oprichniki the Tsar had given him for protection – spies, more like – kept the perimeter at a healthy distance. I deeply, genuinely believe that the oprichniki were the Tsars' attempts at spies post-Shadowfold. Why on earth would the most powerful Grisha need protection -- and why would he need otkazats'ya protection? Genya was not the first spy between the palaces!! Aleksander was just better at getting his spies to be loyal to and side with him than the Lantsovs were.

"Still no Ilya." He made the observation sound tired, rehearsed. He spoke Suli, because he knew the oprichniki did not. Spiesssssssss. "I made the Shadow Fold a hundred years ago, and there’s still no Ilya. This is the sort of thing that should bring Saints out of the woodwork, don't you think? Every disaster is an opportunity, etc. Do you think he figured out how to die?"

"I know why you’re asking." Because he wants to die, too.

"Are you going to answer?" This is almost a 'do you love me enough to help me die' question.

She chanced a glance up at his face, the clench of his jaw. She wouldn’t push him on this farther now. "Do I think he figured out how to die? Perhaps," she admitted. Perhaps he had been too Grisha to die, or perhaps he had been just Grisha enough. Not unnatural they way she was. The way he was. Here we have the beginnings of Baghra acknowledging that maybe she and her son are not Grisha at all, or were Grisha of a different type. Her powerful father might not have had the same immortality. And then, because she remembered the decades when her son had asked question after question about her life, about her wants, she added: "I like to think he would have found me hadn’t." She thinks he'll snap out of his century-long depression if she shares one (1) personal fact.

A fish jumped in the lake beside them, shattering the reflection of light on the pond. "Are you still scared of me?" he asked.

Damn her mouth and his memory. She sighed. So annoying when your son remembers that you almost said you loved him. "I’m scared for you. You’re waiting for something we may never find."

"Never is a very long time." A line he uses with both his mom and Alina.

"I don’t need a lecture on eternity, boy."

A hint of a smile played on his lips. "It’s a long while since I’ve been a boy, Madraya." Legit, can you imagine being four hundred and your mom calls you boy. You are three hundred years older than everyone else other than her and she's all "You'll always be my baby (derogatory)"

"Then maybe you need the reminder." I don't think he's forgotten what his childhood was like, Baghra, but thanks.

He didn’t respond, and they walked the path together in silence, the scrape of pebbles beneath their feet the only sounds. Even the oprichniki moved quietly, conserving energy in the midday heat.

"We’ll be expanding the grounds of the Little Palace," he said, gesturing to a hill beside them. "Our expeditions to find Grisha children in other countries and bring them to safety have been increasingly fruitful. We’re going to need more space." There's so little about the intervening years! I assume he had parties going into other countries and getting Grisha out of there on the reg.

She looked in the direction her son indicated, the leaves on the trees unmoving without a hint of breeze. "Still working on your penance," she observed.

"My what?" Penance? I don't know her.

"Penance," she repeated. "For the Fold." I was so curious in the trilogy when he says "Redemption. Salvation. Penance. My mother's quaint ideas." what their conversations about those must have been like. So here's one.

Baghra had long since realized that life was cyclical for a reason – the straight line of immortality broke too many tethers to the world, made it impossible to keep one’s center. Without the threat of death, a practice of repair was the only thing that could bring one back into alignment with others, with nature. Wasn’t that repair why she was at the Little Palace in the first place? There's a lot made of Baghra's shift in perspective from DiTW to TGT, and also what her religious beliefs really are. This is my attempt at a quick explanation for that – it's more pragmatic than religious, though it's not dissimilar to some religious practices. Here she's really trying to help her son.

"Penance." He rolled the word in his mouth as if he’d never heard it before. This guy, man. "That’s one idea, I suppose."

[istumpysk]

Operation Stumpy Re-Read

ADWD: The Iron Suitor (Victarion I) [Chapter 56]

My little dumbbell! 🥰

Nine-and-ninety ships had left the Stepstones in three proud fleets, with orders to join up again off the southern tip of the Isle of Cedars. Forty-five had now arrived on the far side of the world. Twenty-two of Victarion's own had straggled in, by threes and fours, sometimes alone; fourteen of Ralf the Limper's; only nine of those that had sailed with Red Ralf Stonehouse. Red Ralf himself was amongst the missing. To their number the fleet had added nine new prizes taken on the seas, so the sum was fifty-four … but the captured ships were cogs and fishing boats, merchantmen and slavers, not warships. In battle, they would be poor substitutes for the lost ships of the Iron Fleet.

So we can all be on the same page, our champion with the missing fleet is here:

So close! You're doing amazing, sweetie.

+.+.+

"Storms," Ralf the Limper had muttered when he came crawling to Victarion. "Three big storms, and foul winds between. Red winds out of Valyria that smelled of ash and brimstone, and black winds that drove us toward that blighted shore. This voyage was cursed from the first. The Crow's Eye fears you, my lord, why else send you so far away? He does not mean for us to return."

It's always three storms.

Not sure I agree with Ralf the Limper's conclusion, but I do question why Euron has sent Victarion to do this. Gave up that fancy horn and everything.

+.+.+

Victarion had thought the same when he met the first storm a day out of Old Volantis. The gods hate kinslayers, he brooded, elsewise Euron Crow's Eye would have died a dozen deaths by my hand. 

Here we go again.

Wait until Vicky hears R'hllor loves kinslayers.

+.+.+

"More ships will come. The storms are done for now. I will have my fleet."

A monkey on the mast above howled derision, almost as if it could taste his frustration. Filthy, noisy beast. He could send a man up after it, but the monkeys seemed to like that game and had proved themselves more agile than his crew. The howls rang in his ears, though, and made the throbbing in his hand seem worse.

The monkeys remind me of Statler and Waldorf.

+.+.+

Would that we had the Damphair with us, or some other priest. Victarion had made sacrifice before setting sail, and again in the Stepstones when he split the fleet in three, but perhaps he had said the wrong prayers. That, or the Drowned God has no power here. More and more, he had come to fear that they had sailed too far, into strange seas where even the gods were queer … but such doubts he confided only to his dusky woman, who had no tongue to repeat them.

+.+.+

"Aye. And ten days might mean ten ships, or none at all. We have squandered too many days waiting on the sight of sails. Our victory will be that much the sweeter if we win it with a smaller fleet." And I must needs reach the dragon queen before the Volantenes.

Do you see how heroic he is?

+.+.+

In Volantis he had seen the galleys taking on provisions. The whole city had seemed drunk. Sailors and soldiers and tinkers had been observed dancing in the streets with nobles and fat merchants, and in every inn and winesink cups were being raised to the new triarchs. All the talk had been of the gold and gems and slaves that would flood into Volantis once the dragon queen was dead. One day of such reports was all that Victarion Greyjoy could stomach; he paid the gold price for food and water, though it shamed him, and took his ships back out to sea.

Do you see what a feminist ally he is?

+.+.+

If the Storm God spared them, by now they could be in the Gulf of Grief. Three hundred ships, perhaps as many as five hundred. Their allies were already off Meereen: Yunkishmen and Astapors, men from New Ghis and Qarth and Tolos and the Storm God knew where else, even Meereen's own warships, the ones that fled the city before its fall. Against all that, Victarion had four-and-fifty. Three-and-fifty, less the Shark.

Do you see how fearless he is?

+.+.+

The Crow's Eye had sailed halfway across the world, reaving and plundering from Qarth to Tall Trees Town, calling at unholy ports beyond where only madmen went. Euron had even braved the Smoking Sea and lived to tell of it. And that with only one ship. If he can mock the gods, so can I.

*cough* bullshit *cough*

A smile played across Euron's blue lips. "I am the storm, my lord. The first storm, and the last. I have taken the Silence on longer voyages than this, and ones far more hazardous. Have you forgotten? I have sailed the Smoking Sea and seen Valyria."

Every man there knew that the Doom still ruled Valyria. The very sea there boiled and smoked, and the land was overrun with demons. It was said that any sailor who so much as glimpsed the fiery mountains of Valyria rising above the waves would soon die a dreadful death, yet the Crow's Eye had been there, and returned.

"Have you?" the Reader asked, so softly.

Euron's blue smile vanished. "Reader," he said into the quiet, "you would do well to keep your nose in your books." - The Reaver, AFFC

+.+.+

"Is it still to be Meereen?"

"Where else? The dragon queen awaits me in Meereen." The fairest woman in the world if my brother could be believed. Her hair is silver-gold, her eyes are amethysts.

Was it too much to hope that for once Euron had told it true? Perhaps. Like as not, the girl would prove to be some pock-faced slattern with teats slapping against her knees, her "dragons" no more than tattooed lizards from the swamps of Sothoryos. 

Correction. Her hair was silver-gold.

I hope Vicky likes the buzzcut look.

+.+.+

The Isle of Cedars. Where were these cedars? Drowned four hundred years ago, it seemed. Victarion had gone ashore a dozen times, hunting fresh meat, and had yet to see a cedar.

Even in the midst of their own doom, Valyria found a way to kill all the trees.

+.+.+

The Isle of Monkeys, that's what they should call it. There were pigs as well: the biggest, blackest boars that any of the ironborn had ever seen and plenty of squealing piglets in the brush, bold creatures that had no fear of man. They were learning, though. The larders of the Iron Fleet were filling up with smoked hams, salted pork, and bacon.

You know who loves boar? Drogon.

Look at all the treats his new step-dad is bringing him!

+.+.+

The monkeys, though … the monkeys were a plague. Victarion had forbidden his men to bring any of the demonic creatures aboard ship, yet somehow half his fleet was now infested with them, even his own Iron Victory. He could see some now, swinging from spar to spar and ship to ship. Would that I had a crossbow.

Crossbow? I'd love to believe these monkeys represent Tyrion.

+.+.+

The last time Victarion had spent a night ashore, his dreams had been dark and disturbing and when he woke his mouth was full of blood. The maester said he had bitten his own tongue in his sleep, but he took it for a sign from the Drowned God, a warning that if he lingered here too long, he would choke on his own blood.

Was it a wolf dream?

I don't think it will be blood that you choke on.

+.+.+

On the day the Doom came to Valyria, it was said, a wall of water three hundred feet high had descended on the island, drowning hundreds of thousands of men, women, and children, leaving none to tell the tale but some fisherfolk who had been at sea and a handful of Velosi spearmen posted in a stout stone tower on the island's highest hill, who had seen the hills and valleys beneath them turn into a raging sea.

Volcanoes and a tsunamis?

Mother Earth had enough of Valyrians.

+.+.+

So many drowned men, the Drowned God will be strong there, Victarion had thought when he chose the island for the three parts of his fleet to join up again. He was no priest, though. What if he had gotten it backwards? Perhaps the Drowned God had destroyed the island in his wroth. His brother Aeron might have known, but the Damphair was back on the Iron Islands, preaching against the Crow's Eye and his rule. 

+.+.+

As he eased himself into his chair, she took a soft damp cloth from the basin and laid it across his brow. "Good," he said. "Good. And now the hand."

The dusky woman made no reply. Euron had sliced her tongue out before giving her to him. Victarion did not doubt that the Crow's Eye had bedded her as well. That was his brother's way. Euron's gifts are poisoned, the captain had reminded himself the day the dusky woman came aboard. I want none of his leavings. He had decided then that he would slit her throat and toss her in the sea, a blood sacrifice to the Drowned God. Somehow, though, he had never quite gotten around to it.

Do you see how merciful he is?

+.+.+

Victarion could talk to the dusky woman. She never attempted to talk back. 

Ser Ilyn made no reply. The perfect companion for a long ride. I will enjoy his conversation. - Jaime III, AFFC

Lol.

+.+.+

The larger, heavier, slower ships made for Lys, to sell the captives taken on the Shields, the women and children of Lord Hewett's Town and other islands, along with such men who decided they would sooner yield than die. Victarion had only contempt for such weaklings. Even so, the selling left a foul taste in his mouth. Taking a man as thrall or a woman as a salt wife, that was right and proper, but men were not goats or fowl to be bought and sold for gold. He was glad to leave the selling to Ralf the Limper, who would use the coin to load his big ships with provisions for the long slow middle passage east.

It's like they're soulmates! ❤️

There's a lot of minor characters in Lys right now. Lynesse Hightower is in Lys, Humfrey Hightower is going to Lys to hire sellsails, Edric Storm is hiding in Lys, and I'm probably forgetting others.

+.+.+

"the only way to do this is to take the slavers unawares, as once I did at Lannisport. Sweep in from the sea and smash them, then take the girl and race for home before the Volantenes descend upon us." Victarion was no craven, but no more was he a fool; he could not defeat three hundred ships with fifty-four. "She'll be my wife, and you will be her maid." A maid without a tongue could never let slip any secrets.

Damn, it's like he already knows Daenerys. It's fate. ❤️

Of course the little birds would say otherwise (if they could).

+.+.+

Maesters had their uses, but Victarion had nothing but contempt for this Kerwin. With his smooth pink cheeks, soft hands, and brown curls, he looked more girlish than most girls. When first he came aboard the Iron Victory, he had a smirky little smile too, but one night off the Stepstones he had smiled at the wrong man, and Burton Humble had knocked out four of his teeth. Not long after that Kerwin had come creeping to the captain to complain that four of the crew had dragged him belowdecks and used him as a woman. "Here is how you put an end to that," Victarion had told him, slamming a dagger down on the table between them. Kerwin took the blade—too afraid to refuse it, the captain judged—but he had never used it.

Do you see how he empowers people to stand up to their bullies?

+.+.+

They had talked of this before. "If you take my hand, I will kill you. But first I will tie you over the rail and make the crew a gift of your arse. Get on with it."

"There will be pain."

"Always." Life is pain, you fool. There is no joy but in the Drowned God's watery halls. "Do it."

Soon, Vicky. Soon.

+.+.+

The boy—it was hard to think of one so soft and pink as a man—laid the edge of the dagger across the captain's palm and slashed. The pus that burst forth was thick and yellow as sour milk. The dusky woman wrinkled her nose at the smell, the maester gagged, and even Victarion himself felt his stomach churn. "Cut deeper. Get it all. Show me the blood."

Maester Kerwin pressed the dagger deep. This time it hurt, but blood welled up as well as pus, blood so dark that it looked black in the lantern light.

Eerily similar to something else.

A foul, sweet smell rose from the wound, so thick it almost choked her. The leaves were crusted with blood and pus, Drogo's breast black and glistening with corruption.

"No," Dany whispered as tears ran down her cheeks. "No, please, gods hear me, no."

Khal Drogo thrashed, fighting some unseen enemy. Black blood ran slow and thick from his open wound.

"Your khal is good as dead, Princess." - Daenerys VIII, AGOT

+.+.+

By the time he finished, the clean water in his basin had become a scummy soup. The sight alone would sicken any man. "Take that filth and go." Victarion nodded at the dusky woman. "She can bind me up."

[...]

Victarion remembered the fight as if it had been yesterday. His shield had been in shards, hanging useless from his arm, so when Serry's longsword came flashing down he had reached up and caught it. The stripling had been stronger than he looked; his blade bit through the lobstered steel of the captain's gauntlet and the padded glove beneath into the meat of his palm. A scratch from a little kitten, Victarion told himself afterward. He had washed the cut, poured some boiled vinegar over it, bound it up, and thought little more of it, trusting that the pain would fade and the hand heal itself in time.

Instead the wound had festered, until Victarion began to wonder whether Serry's blade had been poisoned. Why else would the cut refuse to heal? The thought made him rage. No true man killed with poison. At Moat Cailin the bog devils had loosed poisoned arrows at his men, but that was to be expected from such degraded creatures. Serry had been a knight, highborn. Poison was for cravens, women, and Dornishmen.

"If not Serry, who?" he asked the dusky woman. "Could that mouse of a maester be doing this? Maesters know spells and other tricks. He might be using one to poison me, hoping I will let him cut my hand off." The more he thought on it, the more likely it seemed. "The Crow's Eye gave him to me, wretched creature that he is." 

He's paranoid like her too! ❤️

Many people believe the dusky woman is sabotaging his recovery. I don't think anyone poisoned him, I prefer the author illustrate men like Victarion and Khal Drogo aren't as invincible as they think.

I apologize for calling her dusky woman, I don't know how to work around this.

+.+.+

"If this is his revenge, he wrongs me. It was Euron who insisted he be taken, to keep him from making mischief with his birds." His brother had given him three cages of ravens too, so Kerwin could send back word of their voyaging, but Victarion had forbidden him to loose them. Let the Crow's Eye stew and wonder.

A flight from Slaver's Bay to the Shield Islands? Can a raven even do that?

People assume Euron is watching him some other way. How exactly? The fandom seriously overpowers Euron Greyjoy.

+.+.+

Longwater Pyke came pounding at the cabin door to tell him that the captain of Grief had come aboard with a prisoner. "Says he's brought us a wizard, Captain. Says he fished him from the sea."

"A wizard?" Could the Drowned God have sent a gift to him, here on the far side of the world?

Wrong god.

+.+.+

His brother Aeron would have known, but Aeron had seen the majesty of the Drowned God's watery halls below the sea before being returned to life. Victarion had a healthy fear of his god, as all men should, but put his faith in steel. 

He says this like he isn't one of the most god-fearing men in the story.

+.+.+

"Lord Captain," he said when Victarion appeared, "this is Moqorro. A gift to us from the Drowned God."

The wizard was a monster of a man, as tall as Victarion himself and twice as wide, with a belly like a boulder and a tangle of bone-white hair that grew about his face like a lion's mane. His skin was black. Not the nut brown of the Summer Islanders on their swan ships, nor the red-brown of the Dothraki horselords, nor the charcoal-and-earth color of the dusky woman's skin, but black. Blacker than coal, blacker than jet, blacker than a raven's wing. Burned, Victarion thought, like a man who has been roasted in the flames until his flesh chars and crisps and falls smoking from his bones. The fires that had charred him still danced across his cheeks and forehead, where his eyes peered out from amongst a mask of frozen flames. Slave tattoos, the captain knew. Marks of evil.

Making Victarion Greyjoy vehemently opposed to slavery is maybe the funniest thing George R. R. Martin has ever done.

What's so beautiful about it is that only a minor group of people get the joke.

+.+.+

"A demon priest," said Wulfe One-Ear. He spat.

"Might be his robes caught fire, so he jumped overboard to put them out," suggested Longwater Pyke, to general laughter. Even the monkeys were amused. They chattered overhead, and one flung down a handful of his own shit to spatter on the boards.

Victarion Greyjoy mistrusted laughter. The sound of it always left him with the uneasy feeling that he was the butt of some jape he did not understand. Euron Crow's Eye had oft made mock of him when they were boys. So had Aeron, before he had become the Damphair. Their mockery oft came disguised as praise, and sometimes Victarion had not even realized he was being mocked. Not until he heard the laughter.

+.+.+

"A storm." Moqorro crossed his arms against his chest. He did not appear frightened, though all around him men were calling for his death. Even the monkeys did not seem to like this wizard. They leapt from line to line overhead, screaming.

A bunch of monkeys are smarter than Stannis Baratheon.

+.+.+

Victarion was uncertain. He came out of the sea. Why would the Drowned God cast him up unless he meant for us to find him? His brother Euron had his pet wizards. Perhaps the Drowned God meant for Victarion to have one too.

Do you see how analytical he is?

+.+.+

"Why do you say this man is a wizard?" he asked the Vole. "I see only a ragged red priest."

"I thought the same, lord Captain … but he knows things. He knew that we made for Slaver's Bay before any man could tell him, and he knew you would be here, off this island." The small man hesitated. "Lord Captain, he told me … he told me you would surely die unless we brought him to you."

"That I would die?" Victarion snorted. Cut his throat and throw him in the sea, he was about to say, until a throb of pain in his bad hand went stabbing up his arm almost to the elbow, the agony so intense that his words turned to bile in his throat. He stumbled and seized the rail to keep from falling.

Surely die? Meaning ... death is inevitable?

+.+.+

"The sorcerer's cursed the captain," a voice said.

Other men took up the cry. "Cut his throat! Kill him before he calls his demons down on us!" Longwater Pyke was the first to draw his dirk. "NO!" Victarion bellowed. "Stand back! All of you. Pyke, put up your steel. Vole, back to your ship. Humble, take the wizard to my cabin. The rest of you, about your duties." For half a heartbeat he was not certain they would obey. They stood about muttering, half with blades to hand, each looking to the others for resolve. Monkey shit rained down around them all, splat splat splat.

This is perfect.

+.+.+

As he opened the door to the captain's cabin, the dusky woman turned toward him, silent and smiling … but when she saw the red priest at his side her lips drew back from her teeth, and she hisssssed in sudden fury, like a snake. 

How much do I love the thought of Moqorro serving Daenerys? Please author, I don't ask for much.

+.+.+

Victarion gave her the back of his good hand and knocked her to the deck. "Be quiet, woman. Wine for both of us."

Do you see how he doesn't allow religious intolerance?

(This is how a Daenerys Targaryen fan interprets the text.)

+.+.+

He turned to the black man. "Did the Vole speak true? You saw my death?"

"That, and more."

"Where? When? Will I die in battle?" His good hand opened and closed. "If you lie to me, I will split your head open like a melon and let the monkeys eat your brains."

"Your death is with us now, my lord. Give me your hand."

With us now? Meaning ... death is in motion?

+.+.+

"I have seen you in the nightfires, Victarion Greyjoy. You come striding through the flames stern and fierce, your great axe dripping blood, blind to the tentacles that grasp you at wrist and neck and ankle, the black strings that make you dance."

"Dance?" Victarion bristled. "Your nightfires lie. I was not made for dancing, and I am no man's puppet." 

Striding through flames stern and fierce might be literal.

Moqorro insinuating Euron is still in control of Vicky.

+.+.+

"Even the smallest scratch can prove mortal, lord Captain, but if you will allow me, I will heal this. I will need a blade. Silver would be best, but iron will serve. A brazier as well. I must needs light a fire. There will be pain. Terrible pain, such as you have never known. But when we are done, your hand will be returned to you."

They are all the same, these magic men. The mouse warned me of pain as well. "I am ironborn, priest. I laugh at pain. You will have what you require … but if you fail, and my hand is not healed, I will cut your throat myself and give you to the sea."

Moqorro bowed, his dark eyes shining. "So be it."

Aww Daenerys sacrificed Mirri after she failed too! ❤️

+.+.+

The iron captain was not seen again that day, but as the hours passed the crew of his Iron Victory reported hearing the sound of wild laughter coming from the captain's cabin, laughter deep and dark and mad, and when Longwater Pyke and Wulfe One-Eye tried the cabin door they found it barred. Later singing was heard, a strange high wailing song in a tongue the maester said was High Valyrian. That was when the monkeys left the ship, screeching as they leapt into the water.

The monkeys have seen enough.

Question of the day:

Did Victarion just die, and come back to life through the power of R'hllor?

Welcome to the unVictarion theory!

He wondered if this was how his brother Aeron felt when the Drowned God spoke to him. He could almost hear the god's voice welling up from the depths of the sea. You shall serve me well, my captain, the waves seemed to say. It was for this I made you.

But he would feed the red god too, Moqorro's fire god. The arm the priest had healed was hideous to look upon, pork crackling from elbow to fingertips. Sometimes when Victarion closed his hand the skin would split and smoke, yet the arm was stronger than it had ever been. "Two gods are with me now," he told the dusky woman. "No foe can stand before two gods." Then he rolled her on her back and took her once again. - Victarion I, ADWD

The first thing that stands out is for a brief moment we no longer experience the story from Victarion's point of view. The text switches from third person limited to third person omniscient. I don't believe that's ever happened before.

Also strange, after this event Victarion's name will finally be used as his chapter head.

Something has shifted.

The Iron Captain

The Reaver

The Iron Suitor

Victarion

How about that horn?

Moqorro turned the hellhorn, examining the queer letters that crawled across a second of the golden bands. "Here it says, 'No mortal man shall sound me and live.'"

Bitterly Victarion brooded on the treachery of brothers. Euron's gifts are always poisoned. "The Crow's Eye swore this horn would bind dragons to my will. But how will that serve me if the price is death?"

"Your brother did not sound the horn himself. Nor must you." Moqorro pointed to the band of steel. "Here. 'Blood for fire, fire for blood.' Who blows the hellhorn matters not. The dragons will come to the horn's master. You must claim the horn. With blood." - Victarion I, ADWD

No mortal man shall sound the horn and live. Did Victarion uncover a cheat code?

Moqorro gives no indication that Victarion might already be dead, but Moqorro is not the most forthcoming individual.

How about that vision?

A corpse stood at the prow of a ship, eyes bright in his dead face, grey lips smiling sadly. - Daenerys IV, ACOK

I thought that was Aeron Dam-phair binded to the prow of Euron's ship. Could it actually be Victarion?

How about those parallels?

Mirri wasn't a servant of the red god, but like we saw above there are a few notable similarities between Khal Drogo's "revival" and whatever happened to Victarion.

the crew of his Iron Victory reported hearing the sound of wild laughter coming from the captain's cabin, laughter deep and dark and mad [...] Later singing was heard, a strange high wailing song in a tongue the maester said was High Valyrian.

x

The firelight made his black skin shine like polished onyx, and sometimes Victarion could swear that the flames tattooed on his face were dancing too, twisting and bending, melting into one another, their colors changing with every turn of the priest's head. - Victarion I, ADWD

↓

Once I begin to sing, no one must enter this tent. My song will wake powers old and dark. The dead will dance here this night. No living man must look on them. - Daenerys VIII, AGOT

x

Mirri Maz Duur's voice rose to a high, ululating wail that sent a shiver down Dany's back. Some of the Dothraki began to mutter and back away. The tent was aglow with the light of braziers within. Through the blood-spattered sandsilk, she glimpsed shadows moving.

Mirri Maz Duur was dancing, and not alone. - Daenerys VIII, AGOT

x

The Dothraki were shouting, Mirri Maz Duur wailing inside the tent like nothing human - Daenerys VIII, AGOT

How about the obvious?

Normal, mortal human beings don't walk around with charred godhands that smoke.

This is the type of sorcery we associate with Robert Strong, Coldhands, Lady Stoneheart, and Beric Dondarrion. They're all dead.

And lastly, we can't forget those amusing words.

What is dead may never die, but rises again, harder and stronger!

Is Vicky Godhand dead? Has he become a thrall of the red god?

I can't answer that question, but it's an amazing (hilarious) theory.

+.+.+

Come sunset, as the sea turned black as ink and the swollen sun tinted the sky a deep and bloody red, Victarion came back on deck. He was naked from the waist up, his left arm blood to the elbow. As his crew gathered, whispering and trading glances, he raised a charred and blackened hand. Wisps of dark smoke rose from his fingers as he pointed at the maester. "That one. Cut his throat and throw him in the sea, and the winds will favor us all the way to Meereen." Moqorro had seen that in his fires. He had seen the wench wed too, but what of it? She would not be the first woman Victarion Greyjoy had made a widow.

VICKY GODHAND RISE UP!

Go get your girl!

Final thoughts:

Have you ever noticed this is Vicky and Euron?

-> return to menu <-

[yukipri]

The Prime Override - Chapter 48 is up!

Jango - Clone Force 99

Another late night update! The finale (?) of the Experimental Batches mini arc!

Also a heads up that this will be my last public update for this fic for at least a few weeks! March is gonna be a busy month for me irl, and I'm not sure how much I'll be able to write (especially with both TBB S2 and Mando airing simultaneously, which'll likely make me use a lot of time on art!).

I'll do my best to keep writing when I can, but I just wanted to give you due warning in case it takes a while!

This chapter: Into the age acceleration pods.

He’s standing in the corner of a cold white room filled with solid durasteel tubes. Unlike the stasis or decanting tubes, there is no transparency, no illumination from within—no, they look like vertical coffins, the doors lined with various slowly blinking lights and control panels but nothing to indicate that anything living should be inside.

Jango doesn’t need to count to know that there are exactly one hundred tubes in the room. A long chamber, with four rows of twenty-five tubes each.

Jango could never forget—and he knows Ninety-Nine can’t either.

> > Read Ch 48 on AO3

[heyifinallyhaveablog]

The Defeated

Ah! Yes! I'm borderline proud of myself for finally not being lazier than I already am, and coming down to post this, and keeping my adherence to the schedule.

AND!

HAPPY DIWALI! <3

The taglist remains :D

@chaanv @vidhurvrika @bleedinknight @ambidextrousarcher @melancholicmonody @demonkidpliz @stxrrynxghts @sambhavami @alwaysthesideofwonder, and anyone else here. Lord knows how much I've forgotten, and trying to remember.

_______________________________

Fandom: Mahabharar | Star Plus Mahabharat

Pairings: Bheema/Draupadi

Warnings: Mentions of War | PTSD | Trauma | Bloodshed

Summary: The Second Pandava deals with ghosts of the War. Alone.

Disclaimer: This is entirely a work of fiction, based on an idea I had while reading C. Rajagopalachari’s version of the Mahabharata. But I do have to say this, this has a lot to offer that is different from the Mahabharata that is actually popular. I just hope that this resonates with the readers, and you read this, and find this worth your time and your feedback. Please leave a short comment or a like, whatever you may deem fit. And as always!

THANK YOU!

Note: Whatever the character says here, comes from a deep place of depression, trauma, anxiety, and a LOT of PTSD. As someone who has been through that, it might as well bring the worst, darkest, and the angstiest parts out of someone. And this guy has been through one of the bloodiest wars of all time, so there are some things that might be a little unsettling, and even illogical, considering they've literally lost everything, and are contemplating a world without war, where they might not have lost EVERYthing.

Also, please drop in with any thoughts you may have. XX

Links: Chapter 1 and Chapter 2

_________________________________

Chapter 3

The Darkness

“I bear no remorse for the deaths of ninety-nine of the Kauravas,” the anger in his voice is palpable, and tangible to the point where she could feel it bodily.

“Nor do I feel any compassion for Karna,” this time, it is her breath that hitches in her chest, as she tries not to remember the acerbic vitriol of insults he had hurled and triggered at her, “unlike The Emperor.”

“But Vikarna, Panchaali,” she feels him breaking down, “what of him?”

He isn’t the only one who breaks into smaller pieces, with every breath he took. 

“What of those young boys? What of those soldiers? What of Uncle Salya? What of those blameless people who fought with and against us?”

This is the longest that he has spoken in what seems like an eternity. 

“Did Madhusudana tell you how Abhimanyu was slain? Did he recount how Ghatotkacha had fallen? Has he ever confided in you, of The Grandsire’s pain? His remorse?”

“Five villages, Panchaali! Five villages! Five villages! Five hamlets! And we would have forgotten, perchance, if time allowed, we would even have forgiven all!”

“When have we ever been averse to a life of hardship, Krishne?” he rallies on, thunder rumbling in his voice with every syllable. 

“We would have lived on as ascetics in those villages for all I care!” Bheemasena’s voice gives in, with a note of finality, “Varanavata, The Jatugriha, probably even The Dyuta, all those years of exile, Jayadratha, Keechaka! All of it! All of them!”

“I’d have ensured full well that Dushyasana would serve me for the rest of his life! The life that I’d deign him, with his entrails intact!”

Draupadi feels her long, lustrous hair, for the first time since the War. It didn’t reek of that fiend anymore. 

“We wouldn’t have had the blood of those hordes of people on our hands,” he fell heavily in her lap, “Hundreds of thousands of them!”

“Oh Panchaali!” he sobbed helplessly, “I feel as if I’ve killed my sons! My Ghatotkacha! My Abhimanyu!”

“I’d atleast have the luxury of having some of us survive the onslaught,” she felt warm tears grace her lap, “and then-”

- “I’d felt the strength leaving my body the day Sutasoma left us, with his brothers.”

[queerstuffonscreen]

Jane the Virgin (2014-2019)

Episode length: 39-47 min.

Country: USA

Genre: Comedy, Drama

Language: English, Spanish (stream with English subtitles)

A comedy-drama following a chaste young woman who is accidentally impregnated via artificial insemination as she struggles to inform her devoutly religious family and make the right choices concerning the child. Based on the telenovela "Juana la virgen."

Season 1

Episode 1: Chapter One

Episode 2: Chapter Two

Episode 3: Chapter Three

Episode 4: Chapter Four

Episode 5: Chapter Five

Episode 6: Chapter Six

Episode 7: Chapter Seven

Episode 8: Chapter Eight

Episode 9: Chapter Nine

Episode 10: Chapter Ten

Episode 11: Chapter Eleven

Episode 12: Chapter Twelve

Episode 13: Chapter Thirteen

Episode 14: Chapter Fourteen

Episode 15: Chapter Fifteen

Episode 16: Chapter Sixteen

Episode 17: Chapter Seventeen

Episode 18: Chapter Eighteen

Episode 19: Chapter Nineteen

Episode 20: Chapter Twenty

Episode 21: Chapter Twenty-One

Episode 22: Chapter Twenty-Two

Season 2

Episode 1: Chapter Twenty-Three

Episode 2: Chapter Twenty-Four

Episode 3: Chapter Twenty-Five

Episode 4: Chapter Twenty-Six

Episode 5: Chapter Twenty-Seventeen

Episode 6: Chapter Twenty-Eight

Episode 7: Chapter Twenty-Nine

Episode 8: Chapter Thirty

Episode 9: Chapter Thirty-One

Episode 10: Chapter Thirty-Two

Episode 11: Chapter Thirty-Three

Episode 12: Chapter Thirty-Four

Episode 13: Chapter Thirty-Five

Episode 14: Chapter Thirty-Six

Episode 15: Chapter Thirty-Seven

Episode 16: Chapter Thirty-Eight

Episode 17: Chapter Thirty-Nine

Episode 18: Chapter Forty

Episode 19: Chapter Forty-One

Episode 20: Chapter Forty-Two

Episode 21: Chapter Forty-Three

Episode 22: Chapter Forty-Four

Season 3

Episode 1: Chapter Forty-Five

Episode 2: Chapter Forty-Six

Episode 3: Chapter Forty-Seven

Episode 4: Chapter Forty-Eight

Episode 5: Chapter Forty-Nine

Episode 6: Chapter Fifty

Episode 7: Chapter Fifty-One

Episode 8: Chapter Fifty-Two

Episode 9: Chapter Fifty-Three

Episode 10: Chapter Fifty-Four

Episode 11: Chapter Fifty-Five

Episode 12: Chapter Fifty-Six

Episode 13: Chapter Fifty-Seven

Episode 14: Chapter Fifty-Eight

Episode 15: Chapter Fifty-Nine

Episode 16: Chapter Sixty

Episode 17: Chapter Sixty-One

Episode 18: Chapter Sixty-Two

Episode 19: Chapter Sixty-Three

Episode 20: Chapter Sixty-Four

Season 4

Episode 1: Chapter Sixty-Five

Episode 2: Chapter Sixty-Six

Episode 3: Chapter Sixty-Seven

Episode 4: Chapter Sixty-Eight

Episode 5: Chapter Sixty-Nine

Episode 6: Chapter Seventy

Episode 7: Chapter Seventy-One

Episode 8: Chapter Seventy-Two

Episode 9: Chapter Seventy-Three

Episode 10: Chapter Seventy-Four

Episode 11: Chapter Seventy-Five

Episode 12: Chapter Seventy-Six

Episode 13: Chapter Seventy-Seven

Episode 14: Chapter Seventy-Eight

Episode 15: Chapter Seventy-Nine

Episode 16: Chapter Eighty

Episode 17: Chapter Eighty-One

Season 5

Episode 1: Chapter Eighty-Two

Episode 2: Chapter Eighty-Three

Episode 3: Chapter Eighty-Four

Episode 4: Chapter Eighty-Five

Episode 5: Chapter Eighty-Six

Episode 6: Chapter Eighty-Seven

Episode 7: Chapter Eighty-Eight

Episode 8: Chapter Eighty-Nine

Episode 9: Chapter Ninety

Episode 10: Chapter Ninety-One

Episode 11: Chapter Ninety-Two

Episode 12: Chapter Ninety-Three

Episode 13: Chapter Ninety-Four

Episode 14: Chapter Ninety-Five

Episode 15: Chapter Ninety-Six

Episode 16: Chapter Ninety-Seven

Episode 17: Chapter Ninety-Eight

Episode 18: Chapter Ninety-Nine

Episode 19: Chapter One Hundred

Watch on Netflix

[rotm-channel]

RotM:MEET THE MONSTERS-Chapter II

“Are you awake Susan darling?”said a familiar voice.

“Derek!I had a nightmare, a terrible horrible nightmare that I was a hideous giantess.”

“Of course not," the voice said.”You're a very nice and handsome giantess.”

Or was it a dream?I cleared my eyes and my body was aching with pain and I saw Monger flying right in front of me in fact…“It wasn't a dream.” I realized,I felt utterly destroyed from this truth.I wanted to hide from this painful reality.

“Good News!Your time in solitary confinement is up!You're free to join the others!Oorah!”He said, hoping to cheer me up.

It was kinda relieving that I wouldn't be in one place in complete and utter solitude and finally get to talk to someone…then again that someone would be a hideous monster…And I was there,In solitary…alone,for days…at least I thought there were no clocks or skies to tell when it was day and night…time went by and I didnt have the slightest idea when was now or how long I was here.I was fed about three times a day I guess so i guess i was there about a week or so,they gave me oatmeal…I never really like it and this bulk army variation less.It was too dry and lumpy but I also got orange juice to balance it out.These were the loneliest days of my life…Id rather not even talk about them.

Monger and a trio of mini copters escorted me to the meeting room.Via the platform we went down with a level and then I was taken around the cells on my platform again.

This time I tried to look more closely. There were little people and little crates and all going about like ants in their antfill.

As we continued around, I saw many strange beings there…

I saw that buggy-scientist guy Dr…well something. At work he called out to me while playing with some toy bricks and building what looked like a toy brick variation of an atomic bomb.

“Aw Susan!You wouldn't happen to have some Uranium with you,I only need a little”I thought to myself that he must be joking no one would be that nutty.

The General did not: “Deny him his toy box privileges” he said to one of the guards.

“Yes Sir!”One of the guards replied via the walkie talkie.

Then I saw the Missing Link again. He was in his water tank lifting weights.

“Seven”

“Eight”

Then he noticed me and how I was looking at him.

“Nine Hundred Ninety Nine”

“One Thousand”

“Woah can't believe I did one thousand sets” he said trying to impress me and tossing away the weights,what was with him,did he think I didn't notice him till now?

This was some odd company I had here…but then again that should be expected.Because this place was built for monsters like- like- NO!I am not a monster, I am a normal girl who just by chance is stuck here!

We continued on…at times I looked at those strange beings despite not wanting to. They were hideous, they were odd,yet this morbid curiosity inside of me just forced me to just look at them.

Then I saw Grubzilla.

He was gigantic!Even in my view he was a giant…I shuddered in fear…just looking at him despite him not saying or doing anything scared me because after all he was a terrifying beast!All he was doing was looking at me… and then he roared and licked the glass as if he was trying to eat me!I was petrified.And to boot while I was a giant!But compared to this behemoth I was tiny…

While looking around I really started to see that the overall appearance of the prison was cold and sterile,with an eerie bluish cast from the fluorescent lights.

—------------------------------------------------------------------------------

“Well you're here you can meet your new colleagues.After all you're going to be here for quite some time,OOOrah”Monger said when escorting me into the meeting room. “Oh and one more thing Monger” added to me. “The Government wants to change your name to something new” like a name which we will address you now that you're well ...you know. ,I put in a good word for you so they gave you the chance to decide it.”

“But I don't want to change my name” I said in protest! “My name is Susan!That's it!Susan Murphy!”

“Look this is how it's gonna be…be glad you can choose your name okay?” Monger cut me off giving me a bit of a look of displeasure with my ungratefulness,but then again it was still a change nonetheless.

“Oh and breakfast has been served”Monger added

In the meeting room at first I was alone…just me…I felt alone,but then again maybe it was for the better. those freaks could be dangerous…especially Grubzilla that way he licked the glass…he must have been really craving for me.Speaking of eating I didn't feel the least bit hungry I lost my appetite along with any taste.

I went to have a closer look at the common room she saw a big chair and a big table built just for me “When some people want to really do something,they can do it really fast”I said to myself ,when realizing how hard it must have been to do it and in such a timeframe it did help to lift my spirits a bit.But then I sat there and looked around…this place was so bare,like yes the chair and table were nice but it just felt so basic and dull as if all the color was out of its life. “A carpet,a few paintings and some flowers would be nice,”I said, dreaming about it.I sat in it,It was cold and not very comfortable while I wanted to complain I realized a chair of this size must have been made from construction girders used for skyscrapers and this was a sad reality,that this was how it just is.

“Well,Good day to you Susan!”A familiar voice said.

I quickly stepped back and screamed in terror,but then promptly stopped,I really had to get used to this…

“Oh,I understand your fear.But you seem to have been getting more accustomed to here,as last time you tried to crush me,and you seem to be getting better!Good for you” .After all be taken away and locked up in a prison not allowed to even say goodbye to your family and friends.And then meet us terrifying creatures at the same time,It is no surprise you were scared." He congratulated me.

“It's so nice to see you you again,The buggman continued “maybe this time we can meet on better terms.Sorry about Link bothering you,he was just a little excited”

He seemed to be a kind and intelligent fellow.Maybe they all weren't that bad I thought to myself he was quite nice and charming.

“I think I should formally introduce myself. I am Dr. Jacques-Yves or “Cockroach” that's my new name but both work.And you are Susan we didn't meet on best terms last time so I think we can give it a go again.

While I was looking at him I noticed that my Breakfast was on the floor. “Why is it there?” I asked.

“Practicality as just having to build a system to lift it would be hard so it was decided that It would make the most sense for you to do it without assistance”.

“Yeah great!”I said in a sarcastic tone I just didn't feel like well…Susan.

The Army kinda had a point after all just building a mere chair was hard and expensive, it was the cold hard truth.

Speaking of the chair, when I wanted to move it,it stayed in place. I looked down and noticed it was bolted in place…this place really was bare-bones. I couldn't move in neared or further just sit,then I looked at the food when I put in in front of me

“Is this-” I began to say.

“Yes it's oatmeal!It is served to all personnel for breakfast.”Jacques said.

“Sigh” Oatmeal again,why did it have to be oatmeal?Just remembering how I used to have homemade marmalade and sweet tasty pancakes smothered in maple syrup and tea with sugar…ah those sweet memories.

I noticed that Link and the blob were there but that werewolf who I noticed last time wasn't.

Then Grubzilla came in and he was looking at me.I was panicking on the inside at least,I told myself internally “Surely he's fead and wouldn't eat me,right?''I looked at him with uncertainty.

I examined him,he was weird, he was bi-pedal and had some plates on what I assumed to be his tale,he was terrifyingly weird and scary.

The atmosphere was tense…

Suddenly Grubzilla reached out for me!

I was petrified in place!

His pincer arms caught me and took me!

“Oh no!NO!NO!NO!HE'S GOING TO EAT ME!!!”I screamed in terror.

He took me up and,and,and, and then he!…hugged me on his belly? I calmed down it was oddly relaxing.Quaint…he was trying to calm me.His fur was like feathers.They were so soft, I felt…lifted.I felt as If my Mother was hugging me when I was a little girl.I felt relaxed,calmed by him.It was so comforting of him.

“Just when I needed it”I said merrily.

“That means that he”likes you Link said

I rubbed his foot back and he happily stomped and then he purred,Like a cat but because of it being a creature of his size it couldn't really hear it but feel it.

I started wondering about grubbzilla and then I aksed Jacques.

“What,what even is he?”I asked,he was so odd his face kinda reminded me of a hamster. He had a tail and two big legs standing like a dinosaur,with four pincer-like arms and two antennas.

"He's a Giant mutated grub -Bombyx Mori to specify.Got Hit by radiation from Castle Bravo nuclear test in the pacific.Apart from growing he had a few other changes to his biology like the ability to shoot silk and his appearance changing quite a lot."

“He has a taste for Japanese Cities,Oh and his brain is still bug-sized" Jacques adeded sarcastically.

"Hey!Link said angrily Grubzilla wasn't actually attacking the city.He was teething on buildings since grubs don't have teeth and getting teeth was one of the side-effects."

“Wait, if he's from Japan why is he kept here?”I wondered.

“Because Dear Susan,this facility was made for such beings and it is the only real place of its type in the world!And there is an international agreement between the world governments to hide them here and assist with capturing them and denying them,which is also coupled with an agreement that other myths which do not disturbed the balance are to assistant in not being exposed.”

"How are you even like this?"I asked Dr.Jacques-Yves

“I am a brilliant scientist. While a little batty at times,I was quite normal.Until the day I tried my experiment with a machine which had the mutation enhancements of certain bug life to combine my genes and get the benefits. By test number 78 I was ready to have a go for it.It turned me into this hybrid mad genius.While it gave me the cockroaches ability to survive and the ability to walk on walls it came at a high price,I was half cockroach…and if that wasn't enough my after my transformations my mind shifted…it changed.I found myself no longer liking many things as I did before but liking things a bug would like.”

"How did you even end up here?"I asked him.

“Well I won't bore you, the change made me just lose myself,things just kinda happened.I was kind of out of control ,I tried to take over some countries the government was called in and I ended up here.”

“That over there missing Link Half-ape Half Fish.When explorers accidentally found him,scientists were sent to thaw him out.He immediately escaped and headed directly for the beaches which were his old watering home,went on a rampage,kidnapped several women and fought back and after a few actions Monger was sent and managed to bring him here.”

“That Blob is the Blob but we like to call him Bob.”

“He was created in an experiment with tomatoes and chemically altered ranch salad dressing. He is a creature of very little intellect but ,I must admit that he is by far the happiest of us. His blinding stupidity and mirthful ignorance just help him.He is a simpleton,but a happy simpleton.”

Well…this was interesting,.I thought to myself maybe they know something about this place I didn't. Any of them could tell me more about how this place goes,then an idea flew into my head!Maybe they allowed visits here…maybe I could see Mom and Dad and even Derek!

“Are there any visitors here,you know family or friends?I asked hopefully with a slight glint of hope in my eyes.”

“Family?To be truly honest Susan none of us really had any family.For instance I was always so busy and caught up in my work that I never truly had a family or even many friends. I was married to my work…yet even despite that I at times just seem to lack a certain something in my life as if I'm empty.”

“As for Link, his family and species died out many millennia ago leaving him alone in a world that moved on without him and he didn't have the best relation to women he kidnapped.He is truly a relic of a bygone era.”

"Bob is a result of an experiment so he had no real connection to anybody or anything.The closest thing he had was that he is part tomato but that's about it."

"Grubzilla never really had a family he was just hatched and left alone to his own devices, so he went on his own and had an adventure which led him here."

“But I have a Family!”I said, choking on my words “And i want to see them!”

I started to cry again

Link came up come on “Girly it isn't that bad give us a chance…and give me a chance im the tough guy after all”

“Link I think it would be best for you to Leave Susan alone,what she went through none of us did to be frank.”Jacques said to Link

“To be honest,we are the closest thing we ever had to a family.” Jacques added in.

“Any others here?”I asked, trying to get myself out of the gutter.

“Well yes but not all of them are as sociable as us…Some have been locked up for good and aren't even let into the meeting room.”

Really?Which?

“Well we have quite a few most aren't as friendly or sociable like us.That is why they usually stay permanently locked up in there cages as they would only cause trouble.We have all sorts of beings here thought to be mythical creatures A giant sea serpent,dragons,Harpies,Invisible Man.They were all caught either by Monger or governments with assistance from various other groups.”Jacques though back likely remembering the first meeting.

“There's also Beastman who is a werewolf. While he comes out he can only control himself in the day hours so his visits to the meeting room are often sporadic and limited.Hes quite charismatic and gentlemanly but can at night he is feral.He actually gave himself up to the government.”

This was so odd all these things that were supposed to be confined to imagination…they were all real and here.

“Susan dear?You wouldn't mind if I made a check on you?”

“It's fine…I guess.”

He ran some checks through his computer and other such ways. It was less embarrassing then in the lab I had to admit at least I was treated more like a person on a check-up rather than some oddity of nature that was being explored.

After a while Jacques said“This is oddly fascinating. Despite your size you seem to have abnormal strength and energy…”

“What energy?What strength?I don't feel powerful?I shouldn't even be here, I'm a normal girl”This was weird for me,and about to get weirder.

“Indeed,one of the most interesting ones I had the honor of knowing.

After re-examining his studies he looked at me.

“Hmm,your height is 15.214 meters 49 feet 11 inches,however your weight is not equal to your height.”

“My weight?”I added what was he rambling about?

“Exactly,you weigh less than twelve tons.You weigh merely 11.8 tons which is a quarter of what it should be at your proportions.You're amazingly light!”

“LIGHT!?”I screamed in shock and horror.

“I am as heavy as an elephant!”This was disgusting.Just the fact alone that I was as heavy as an elephant made me feel repulsed.

“A smidge heavier actually my dear.”He added "Remember you are far taller than an elephant.And the cube law which dictates if you increase somethings mass by a factor of two its mass increase by the cube…however in your case it seems as though your strength was cubed instead.How Lucky for you.And wait!There's more to you!Your cardiopulmonary system,your nervous system by any normal biological sense you defy all scientific logic!Whatever caused this would defy all laws of normal physics!But let's be honest you're not the only one to do that…But it is so monumentally fascinating!

“I dont get it…i was a normal girl and now im heavier that an elephant and disproportionately strong…”

“Of course you were!”He said soothingly.I looked at his odd face nervously and listened.

After a while Monger flew in?”Susan Murphy!Have you chosen your new name yet?!”Monger shouted he must have been busy,his temper was not good.

“No,I completely forgot sir.”It's just that i was just having a talk with some of the others here an-

“I get it,I can come back later and check if you got your new name,so long as you're happy with it”He said and left he is quite a busy man.

This Left me deep in thought she wanted to think of a name.

“I just need to think of a name,a name that best describes me,a name like…

Amazon Babe?Link proposed. “Big,Strong and Beautiful”he added.I layed down into a position

I shook my head. “No something else…delicate like a blossom,elegant like a ballerina.

Like bob?Bob the blob said.

“No youre bob!”Link said

“Oh yeah!I keep forgetting.Bob said rather brainlessly.

“Well you see it's not easy trying to be a woman,and a Giantess is even harder”

“I don't know” Link said “I never tried to be either”

“It's just when most imagine giants there are big and hairy monster.Dumb and masculine.”

How about Garganta,Ginormica…or……THE AMAZING COLOSSAL WOMAN!Link said

“You got that from a movie right?”I said in a lighter tone slightly chuckling to myself.

“You know it would be better if I were a Man,Men are always so strong and big and muscle bound.I need the name to be cute and delicate, while I weigh almost twelve tons and have over 20 foot long fell. It still doesn't mean i can't be gentle…”I said slowly thinking back on ideas for a name.

“So youre saying you need a name which shall be most fitting for yourself as with your form and with your personality in one.” Jacques-Yves said.

!Which would be the right name for it?MEGA-MAID?Monsterina?"

“How about Gaia?”Jacques replied he was done with his examinations of collected data and was paying me full attention.

"Well...I dont know"I said in uncertainty.

“She originates from Greek mythology.She is a giant,the personification of Earth and mother of all life.And the mother of the Titans,Cyclops and other giants”

“Gee,thanks Doc.But I think it's too vague like yeah she sounds good but the name just doesn't seem to fit me”I said after some deep thinking in my head.

Jacues-Yves went back deep into his thought and ended the silence with another well thought out suggestion.

“How about Titania?”

Now this sounded interesting, it did have that power and softness in it.It was by far the most fitting name so far.But it wasn't completely sold on it,but it sparked my interest.

That sounds interesting”

“Oh it is!”He said with a smile “It's from ancient classical Roman legend.It was the name given to the daughters of the Titans!”You might have heard of it sometime.He said looking proud of his suggestion.

No,I don't think so.Am I supposed to?I asked

The Queen of the Fairies in Shakespeare's Midsummer night's dream!So its fitting to represent both sides of you!

“That's great,...but I think it needs a bit of a change.Something just to deviate a little and make it inspired yet at the same time with a hint of familiarity Doc.”

Well let's think about it,meanwhile maybe we can talk about that Shakespearean classic!...you read it right?

“Well to be honest doc,I never read anything shakespeare.But I did see Hamlet and Romeo and Juliet with Derek.”I said abashed, my memories quickly came back.How she loved that movie and Derek did too it was such a romantic night…sigh…if only it were…if only it were.

You…never read Shakespeare?Jacques said in surprise. “I hope you don't mind me asking you this but where did you go to?”

“Well…I said, continuing to reminisce on my past. It was kinda normal standard school,not some school for gifted which you surely went to”

Actually my was fairly standard to Dr. Admitted “Not an extraordinary amount of geniuses there to be truthful”But they did force a few old classics into us students quite meticulously.

“Not by us.I think we did some Shakespeare in English,but I never was really interested in it.I remember only just something like First Folio and one thing about Fair is..well something”

Well then,First Folio is a compilation of 36 plays from Shakespeare whereas “Fair is Foul and Foul is fair”Is from Macbeth The power of unchecked ambition is the main theme of Macbeth and that sentence is one of the first in the entire book.

“Wow,you seem to know everything there is to know”I said he really was the smartest person I ever met.

“No,not at all!For instance I don't exactly how you grew to this size and how you defy so many laws of physics”

But I do seem to have quite an oddly good memory for such trivial things.

“I dont”I sighed. I had to admit I felt very ignorant dumb after that conversation with all things a bugman.

Then I remembered the name I thought about and thought about how to add that something to it.Than I came up with it!

I think I'll choose to call myself……TITANICA!

Link Chapter I : https://www.tumblr.com/rotm-channel/753657409087684608/birth-of-a-monsteroriginal-story-part-1

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