#chronic illness written by author with relevant chronic illness | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

johannwolfgangvongoethe · 1 year

Text

Some Personal Thoughts on Disability in Enstars

disclaimer: disability is a very broad term that covers many different experiences. i will be talking about physical disabilities since i feel most comfortable doing so/have experience with them. obviously that ignores a Huge part of what disability and chronical illness is and can be. but i think it is beyond my capabilities to talk about experiences i don't know much about.

alt caption: i think ritsu is a good character and im trying to explain to myself why

this is sort of a long post, sorry.

content warnings: i talk about ableism and touch on related topics such as dehumanization and objectification and such below. individual parts of this post have their own cw's.

Enstars Writing, Beloathed

to get this out of the way; it is bad sometimes. this is discussed very often. it doesnt depend on the authors either, in my opinion, some writers will hit you with something really troublesome only to (seemingly accidentally) invent human emotion and compassion in a different story. i dont want to repeat what others have said eloquently but there is a fair amount of imperialist worldviews, xenophobia, just racism really, transphobia, ableism, and copaganda to be found in enstars. this isnt about x character being x thing, but about how it is very noticable when the author of a story holds these worldviews and they bleed into their stories.

so that is not the greatest foundation if youre looking for well-written disabilities. but i wouldnt be reading enstars if i didnt think it genuinely is really really good sometimes. in my opinion, the way disabilities are portrayed is a mixed bag overall but there are some extremely worthwhile bits that touched me quite a lot.

What I personally understand as Well-Written Disability

the way disabled people suffer often goes unnoticed, and disabled people dont have a platform to talk about oppression. a lot of life-changing issues can go unnoticed to those unnaffected by them, even if they are in broad daylight: underfounded or entirely lacking healthcare, the way many healthcare systems are marketbased and ethics are prone to suffer bc of this (even under 'welfare' capitalism), a lack of equal marriage, the inaccessibility of the most basic and necessary facilities, financing care and the dependency on family/loved ones (both a logistical and psychological problem), the huge stigma against disabled people, etc, etc, you get me....

we need to write about people who need care, to keep them in mind at all times. disabled people are not a minority in a mathematical sense but in a hierarchical sense. it is naive to think of them as "a substancial percentage" of populations. as we age, we inevitably all enter the stage of needing care at some point. SO to an extend, i want to claim its a topic that affects every single person. yet disabled people are rarely a central topic anywhere. it is not enough to acknowledge them, we need to plan and think with them in mind. and Write with them in mind, i guess.

SO when i see fiction grapple the topic, i am usually really happy, even if the portrayal isnt ideal. (critical, maybe, but generally speaking very happy) pointing out "badly" written disabled characters is obviously not as easy as calling someone out for uncritically saying "i think eugenics are a good idea!!!" through fiction. people with that sort of facist mindset exist of course but ableism does not end there.

if i were to single out things i see often: i think the most disappointing thing a story can do is to - mention a disability without it ever having an impact on people in the story (-> the disability is basically nonexistent, has no impact or relevance, outside of a theoretical mention) OR - uncritically use a disabled character as a mere plot devise, without granting them the ability to speak (-> dehumanization, a lack of understanding that disabled people are, well, People. they do shit.)

and then of course there is fetishization, both in a literal sense and in an inspiration porn sense and the problem of turning disability into a caricature for jokes (either to other disabled people for their behaviour/body or to create a sense of satisfying superiority by laughing at them) but i feel like those problems explain themselves.

to apply these to very basic examples: i think often something like a robotic sci-fi prosthetic is not a good way to represent a disability because it fails to represent what people go through irl and provides a "magic fix" without repercussions. here is a really good post about it. about the plot device issue... i think it is similar to what people often criticise as "manpain". a disabled person will never appear or speak, they are demoted to being the reason an able-bodied character acts a certain way, like a lifeless accessory. this doesnt always have to be bad, esp if its just a sideplot! but it can get tiring if the audience never gets to learn about other aspects of the unseen character in question and we are only introduced to their suffering.

all of this to talk about gacha idol boys. it is how it is. anyway, this is roughly my mental state when i tackle enstars.

disclaimer 2: i am really just a kogaP. this influences which characters i encounter when reading. there are tons of stories i just never looked at and there is SO MUCh lore i just dont know about. please lemme know if you have additions to stuff i say/understand a character better/have related story recommendations! tl;dr the sakuma bit will be long.

disclaimer 3: i genuinely adore every single character mentioned below and am always excited to learn smth new about them. if i criticize writing, that has nothing to do with that character or their fans. it is about the writers.

the most obvious example. Eichi (content warning for brief mentions of self harm and suicidal ideation)

everything eichi does, he does with the knowledge he will most likely die young. that is a truly dramatic setup.

but before i get back to that thought. it always felt to me like eichis illness(/es) lack a certain sense of conciseness? i do not think you need to put a name and diagnosis on it for it to be relatable and real to readers, tbh!! though to achieve believability, there needs to be a good amount of consistency. what i can recall off the top of my head is the following:

he breaks down/straight up blacks out frequently due to weakness and dizzyness

measures were taken to secure his safety in those situations (the infamous Eichi-kun Gauge as seen in Element)

his stamina is seriously low

he coughs a lot

we saw him cough up blood (Daydream)

he relies on long hospital stays because his health needs to be monitored and/or supported this closely

he stays inside a lot (hinting towards problems with his immune system?)

being healthy enough to eat unhealthy food is a big deal to him, so there are dietary restrictions/it was necessary to precisely control what he eats

his grandfather, who died recently, is considered an outlier for how long he lived (so it IS hereditary)

which..... could be a lot of things...? or, more likely: a culmination of many things at once. if you have headcanons on eichis health, please lemme know!

but in addition to eichis terminal illness, there is a second quality to him that separates him from most disabled people: he is extremely wealthy. and his wealth is fundamentally important to stories. usually illness and poverty go hand in hand, since income is tied to the ability to work, which worsens an already bad situation. no matter how limited eichis actions are because of his body, the possibilties offered by his wealth make him a central figure in every overarching plot. in addition to this, his family is well aware of his consitution and he is a patriarchal leading figure to them, the head to their coporate hierachy. eichi is free of the things that usually rid the chronically ill of their safety and power: society (he is an idol and popular) and money (he is the richest boy in japan). if youd ask me, i think that while being chronically ill is of course physically taxing, the worse problem is the economic state it puts you in. eichi simply overcomes this? yes, he is terminally ill, his situation is terrifying. but he has an extraordinary amount of control while he lives. more than a poor yet able-bodied person may have.

his unique circumstances enable him to be incredibly active. this is so fun to read about in my opinion. its a fascinating setup to me. without casting any sort of moral judgement on his actions and the antagonistic role he plays; he is, excuse me for my phrasing here, a disabled power fantasy. (at least to me)

this is a double-edged sword to him. because of who he is as a person (ambitious, cunning, ruthless, diligent)

he lives in relative safety but his strong ambition and financial ability to fulfill his dreams tempt him to go past his limits. because his remaining lifetime is uncertain, the need to preserve the body he is given seems uneconomical (a mindset his upbringing and education as an heir to his family would have enforced imo) he is bound to break down sooner or later anyway. i think he begins to see himself and his body as a tool to achieve his goals and neglects spending time on anything BUT working towards them. so the moment he runs out of goals (like at the end of Element), his reason to "remain" becomes futile.

it really struck with me how he appears in Blackbird - emaciated, pathetic, purposefully neglected because he chose to be neglected and weak in an act of self harm bc denying medical attention (something that couldnt have happened otherwise) wataru has to remind him that no one died and the obvious connection to make is that the eccentrics are physically unharmed and starting over, that they should not be a source of guilt to eichi. but i think this is just as much about eichi himself. he might have expected to die since he left the hospital and overexhausted himself at school and as an idol. he didnt die though. it was a real possibility and seemed likely but he didnt. the neglect and indirect self harm here point out, to me, that he saw the "role" he gave himself as fulfilled at that point and waited to die.

eichi stands over economic or social factors that could ostracize and dehumanize him but funnily enough he manages to do so himself by treating his body as a tool and his happiness as an option that got overshadowed by a need to succeed.

this vulnerability makes him, despite how vague the descriptions of his illness are and despite how unrelatable his wealth is, a very satisfying character imo. it is engaging to me. certain limits are removed for him but he created new ones, specifically because he did not see himself as something worth sustaining once he becomes useless. imo, eichi applied the idea that a lifes worth can be measured in its ability to function in an industry to himself. and spiralled over it, entirely inverting his uncanny amount of bodily autonomy. it is clear how the situation he is in worsens his mental health like that. and how his mental health in turn worsens his physical health. it is inseperable.

i cant really get into !! era eichi because i genuinely just dont... know enough. the fine tradition of having a weekly H-Day stands out, though. after all, eichi has new bigger ambitions and is, once again, inviting his own ruin through overexhaustion. so his friends (the new addition of having friends is essential) had to forcefully make him stop for at least one day a week. that is pretty big. i think.

this is true for many marginalized existences so it of course applies to disabled people: if neither your surroundings nor yourself permit you to feel human and therefore assign your person an inherent worth and lovability... sometimes you need a friend to do so!!! social circles are the best support structure for your health.

The Sakuma Family

(i will get into ritsu and rei seperately later on. there are just a few concepts i want to get out of the way that apply to both of them.)

so... to get a little theoretical; the concept of "disability" relies on the concept of a "normative" human existence. "disability" is an otherness and can therefore easily be seen as a "monstrocity" in the eyes of ignorant people, something that instils fear. (there is a reason why a lot of horror exploits disabled bodies as a source of terror and uses mental hospitals as settings) from an able-bodied point of view it seems "desirable" to be a "normative human", yet the disabled person knows that is not a possibility and knows their worth and place as a human in human spaces. at least ideally. able-bodied people sometimes lack this understanding. there is nothing to be desired about an able body or fixed about a disabled body, beyond what medical care can do for ones quality of life.

if you have read operetta, this is all very familiar;

operetta, chapter 17 and, well, here we are. vampires. a very basic truth about the sakuma family that i hate to see denied is that they are human. there is nothing supernatural about them. they are just disabled. or, to turn the idea around, if one was to assign them vampiristic traits and such... is vampirism not a disability and should be taken seriously as such? if you consider the limits a vampire has while coordinating through their life, is that not... strangely just a disabled experience? (MINUS THE KILLING PEOPLE OBVIOUSLY but much modern fiction is sympathetic towards vampires instead and does not display them as violent)

anyway, to hear it from the horses mouth (the horse is rei):

operetta, chapter 19 the sakuma family is a curious case. their condition is hereditary though the severity varies from person to person. it comes up in many stories but for the most part i am thinking about operetta, resurrection sunday, and devils right now. how did this all start? what made an entire family turn to live as vampires, with blood ceremonies and all that? what bizarre kind of generational trauma is this?

(and, while it does not play a role as important as it did for eichi, they are rich. this is important to mention. many normal experiences just dont apply to them because wealth makes them immune. ... how did the sakumas become this influential anyway.)

for an unspecified but long time, an entire family managed to mentally entirely seperate themselves from the rest of humanity because of their chronical illness. personally, i have no doubt this is the result of a world that othered them first. whether the main motivator at play here is a defensiveness towards a society that cannot understand you or an internal need to turn hardships into an identity that can be carried with pride. it takes a considerable amount of emotional strength and planning for the "hey we are human actually" declaration in operetta to occur.

they are, weirdly, what people mean when they talk about a "toxic anti-recovery mindset". (an expression i struggle with because this sort of rhetoric is often used to discriminate against disabled people who speak up for themselves or ask for accomodations. but that aside) it is an amount of pride that leads to internal self destruction.

of course, as is the case with every single character i write about in this post, a lot of it has to do with aesthetics and being chuuni to sell gacha cards. so we know the reason behind the reason. but it makes for some bizarre in-universe implications.

but in any case, the fact that their identity as false vampires is something they have always carried, that modern society sees as "mystical and sexy" has a hilarious side effect: their disability becomes marketable under the guise of vampirism. it is hard to recover from that.

so again, we have a double-edged sword: to present ones medical condition as a "persona" declares it as a performative act, something that is done to bring joy to an audience. personal detriment is not considered here, since it stops being a part of ones being and starts to become "work". the time and place of ones symptoms has to overlap with the time and place of ones performances. or people will hate you for your uncontrollable illness. however, rei and ritsu are both also able to carry their condition with a sort of playfulness. it is almost something like the act of "reclaiming" when they purposefully choose to larp a little for fun. usually, when a scene mentions their disability in the context of comic relief, they have control over the situation that unfolds and even initiate it and invite others to laugh alongside them. this can be a slippery slope to getting harrassed of course.... but i am rather baffled by the amount of dominance they have in social interactions. so it just reads as a healthy amount of dark humour to me.

this, and the consistent writing of their symptoms, and the ability to easily compare it to real existing illnesses, easly make them my favourite instance of written disabled people in the series. their illness has an impact on their behaviour and it is detrimental! and they are both very human in the way they attempt to cope. there is a certain realism to it. idek.

many people seem to headcanon them with myalgic encephalomyelitis, which is a really good explanation, and i personally want to suggest narcolepsy. the point being, there is room to accurately assign them a realistic relatable and understandable condition, even if nothing is ever named in canon. and of course they are mentioned to have an iron deficiency.

bear with this slightly "out there" theory for a moment: have you or a friend ever tried to get a compensation for your disadvantage at school or uni? it can be really hard to do, if it is possible at all, even if it is something very simple (more time, a slightly different enviroment, the ability to drink or sit, etc) yumenosaki is a school for performance arts, mainly idols. bold statement: it might genuinely be easier to get/explain an accommondation for your "idol quirk" (something that would be actively fostered), than for your disability. not that yumenosaki is very strict or asks for a lot anyway, its just something that has been on my mind.

here is another funny thing i have been thinking about: both of them crave juice, soda, and fruit - sugary yet fresh stuff. i feel like this is not uncommon for people who suffer from excessive tiredness and fatigue, the body subconsciously wishes for some sugar intake to "wake up".

Inventing a Guy to Cope. Rei

funny title aside... he... did that... ? rei is a curious example of how different mostly unrelated traumas can overlap. he had no childhood, thanks to his family that considered him "mature" at a very young age and his early status as a child star. and his bad health is a miserable addition to this. it is quite scary to image how pressured to do right he felt growing up and how that resulted in the fragmented distanced way he views himself; reinventable, and ultimately unknowable. (to others AND himself)

despite his bad health he has always been working and performing "well". he was praised for his remarkable talents but rarely had the chance to stop and patch himself up. whether this was a result of a pushy enviroment or his personality as a people pleaser who cannot show weakness and imperfection is hard to tell. maybe both.

the state he is in in Crossroad is fascinating to me. he all but directly lists the criteria of depression to keito when he attempts to explain his sorrows. he is restless, rowdy, mentions later on that he enrolled in yumenosaki against his familys wishes. he is very much searching for joy and his own identity in the middle of a health emergency. this has to do with the way he was raised, only knowing how to exist for and serve others, how he was made to sell a made-up version of himself, but i also believe it has to do with the fact he has started to exclude himself from his familys traditions and values. he started to cast away the uncertain "monstrosity" existence of his family (as well as the false idolhood others assigned him) and instead embraces humanity as a chronically ill person.

crossroad, i forgor which chapters

this of course marks a starting point of change that later results in him making up the wagahai pronouns persona - something he specifically created with the intention of looking vulnerable and weak. because he yearned to do less, to recover from years of exhaustion.

in a way, i want to say both, the ore pronouns persona and the wagahai pronouns persona, are attempts to cope with expectations he cannot handle physically or mentally. one relies on masking, on appearing stronger than he actually is and therefore invulnerable, and the other relies on exaggerating his weakness, in an attempt to finally let others recognize it. i think as a disabled person, both are performances one has to learn in order to "function" in everyday life, while remaining safe from serious harm (doing badly at ones job or classes, angering others that hold power over your life). since ones circumstances are often hard to grasp for someone who does not share the same illness, there is no choice but to simplify and exaggerate until symptoms become tangible concepts or to just brave through it, at the cost of ones health and future time.

rei in particular, for better or for worse, is incredibly capable when he needs to be and unfortunately that means others will often not take his health seriously because they saw him function just fine the other day. this is a general problem but an obvious offender in that regard is koga, who comments on reis fatigue constantly and loves to create a bit of a high expectations toxic work enviroment (and, to be fair, rei terrorizes him too. kogas hostility towards rei is sometimes ableist but not really rooted in ableism. after all koga is highly aware how performative the wagahai persona can be and is a huge motivational and inspirational factor in reis life. its a whole complex)

!! era holds some positive changes. his mental need to please other people remains a persistent source of trouble for him (and others) but he seems to really let his body recover and lives a more nocturnal life. both kuro and kaoru mention that he looks more healthy (in succession match???? i think??) since he finally stopped enforcing a normal day/night cycle on his body just to comply with social norms. you can indeed be very human even if you break human-made rules.

(additional comment: "becoming human" is of course a theme for each of the eccentrics and not uniquely tied to disability, it very much has to do with the objectification one goes through as a public figure. but this is a post about disability and it really fits in well. so here we go)

Literally Just a Realistic Teenager. Ritsu

ritsu, while not really being among my favourite characters, is my favourite instance of a disabled character in enstars. partly because of his writing and partly because my personal experiences overlap with his so much it sometimes is painful - but always extremely satisfying. just had to get that out.

ritsu is perhaps the most visibly ill. he blacks out and sleeps where he stands, everywhere, without control and often requires other peoples (well, mostly maos) assistance in order to remain safe when this happens. he also repeated a year of school, specifically because of his disability.

he is painfully aware of this. that he looks ill, that he behaves ill, that he is an underachiever compared to others of the same age, even to people younger than him.

ritsu developed unique behaviours to deal with this: he is very dependent and clingy and often asks others to do things for him, unapologetically. that does not mean asking for help doesnt hurt his pride, just that it is the most viable strategy for everyday survival that he ended up with. other than that, he clings more to the vampire identity than rei does. either to defy his older brother or, and this is important imo, because it is the one safety net he has to fall back on that makes him feel "normal" and like he is a regular being. albeit not human. no matter how much others might blame him for his shortcomings or how much he is a failure in the eyes of society, he is very regular for a "vampire". under the logic developed by his family, he is just a child, and the world at large is to blame. it is an easier truth to accept than facing systematic injustice and prejudice in a human world.

the stories i mentioned in another part above aside, i really love what ensemble band does for him; ritsu gets extremely irritated with mao in the prologue, seemingly out of nowhere. his character is allowed to express this sort of anger and to take it out on others, even if it is unjust and misguided. it is not pretty and it isnt good behaviour but it is a very heartfelt emotion to me.

its obvious that he cannot compete with others and that this will always been seen as his personal fault instead of a circumstance he cannot influence. and more than that: no one appreciates the real efforts he makes. for instance, getting himself out of bed in time for classes is difficult for regular teenagers and straight up hellish for ritsu. but he manages to do so a lot later on. instead of acknowledging that this is a real accomplishment on his part and possibly really exhausting and bad for his comfort in the long run, this is seen as doing the bare minimum.

while it is not correct, the malice ritsu sometimes treats others with comes from an comprehensible place. able-bodied ignorance can appear as purposeful slights made by those more privileged than him.

yet he learns to conform. his friends are important to him. knights success is important to him. (thought mental health probably played a role here too and made things even harder prior to his third year of high school) and yet;

seven bridge, chapter 24, but its really just an example i had at hand

the remarks stay the same. his peers still cannot help but brand him as "just lazy", even if they are kind and understanding otherwise and habour no ill intent. so i would like to ask: how long can he keep this up? how hard is this on him?

i dont think i need to explain just how common and hurtful it is to be accused of "laziness". probably the single most irritating comment someone with fatigue will hear every single day.

however, on the flipside, ritsu has perhaps the most people who care for him in comparison with other characters, though they sometimes complain (communication is hard, care is hard, everyone in enstars is very young and i cannot bring myself to see those comments as malice. its a mixture of ignorance and ones own burdens) there is mao, obviously. tsumugi is a very funny example. knights, of course, in particular naru. (at least based on my humble knights readings)

quite interesting how he just decided mao is his caretaker, now and in the future. i shared a few of my thoughts on caretaking here. this is.... a huge responsibility to just put on someones shoulders, to say the least. he shouldnt be doing this but i think it speaks for itself that this is a problem that is on his mind. ITS IS A REALLY IMPORTANT TOPIC TO BRING UP, especially since, the younger you are, the harder it is to get insurance to pay for your care. yes, he is often just teasing mao, but ritsu is looking for ways to get through life. by learning to be as independent as possible, whenever possible. though often you really just find yourself at the mercy of friends and family.

Inter-Sibling Violence

apologies, i will be done with the sakumas soon. i didnt know how to fit this in at the start.

the relationship between rei and ritsu, as people with the same disability who experiences different symptoms and challenges, is worth thinking about. infighting within people of the same disability is very common since experiences can be so different, there are no universal truths or opinions. with different lifestyles come different expectations for what is "normal" and sometimes pressure and social norms can cause someone to shift blame onto others who have no achieved the same things in life.

rei and ritsu are said to have been very close as small children and likely depended on each other a lot. i can see how reis fostering nature and ritsus needy nature developed alongside each other and enforced each other.

time and time again, rei says that he is a "less severe" case, that ritsu has it worse. he jets around the world because he feels forced to do so, when ritsu just wanted emotional support from him to begin with. ritsu stayed alone at home, sheltered and likely caged by their families convictions. but! i want to suggest the following: as much as it hurt him, it was important for reis health to be away from his family, too. i dont think staying there would have been good for him. his absence and the experiences he made away from home were an important catalyst for the positive family development we see in operetta.

of course, rei means well. he cares. he is trying to have a positive impact. yet from ritsus point of view, all of this must feel terribly condescending, especially with how much rei babies him. there is just one year between them. this is barely anything when it comes to sibling inferiority complexes the brain can make up. rei, who is successful and famous and beloved and, most importantly, proclaims to have it "easier than him", is trying to find a cure for him. from ritsus point of view this must be unbearable. their lives are so different when they basically started at the very same point of origin.

more than that, rei shoulders the sketchy blood rituals himself, out of love of course, but if one was more jaded, one could assume he doesnt think ritsu would be able to stomach the responsibility.

you will always compare yourself to your siblings in unhealthy ways but ritsu is just doing this on hard mode, i fear.

HHHRAGAHHHH GHHH ghgghrhgh. Niki

nikis writing is... driving me up a wall sometimes, to say the least. dont get me wrong, i love him. to an extend i understand that his single-mindedness and shallowless has purpose to it. in fact, i adore these character traits. he really seems to be behind four mental barriers at all times, unable to let deeper thoughts touch him, lest they make him succumb to despair. (yet nikis specific flavour of menhera cannot quite shine since... well, he has to stand next to himeru all the time)

the descriptions we get of nikis illness are nonsensical, at least to my knowledge. you could imagine he has something like hyperthyroidism. this never really gets explored though. at some point ENGstars mentions he has "gastroptosis or whatever" (the "or whatever" is part of his dialogue - niki really doesnt give a fuck), which makes no sense at all. weirdly enough, it would even be strangely in character if this was just a misconception.

so, can anyone take niki to a doctor? has this happened and i just wasnt there for it? there is no excuse why no one is considering medical care when it comes to him. except that he often is the butt monkey of jokes the writers want to make and has to stay available for it. more than that; his parents just left him alone like this? as a child? did he get an allowance at least? this cannot be legal, right? i wait for the day this comes up as a topic but i fear it is in vain. (please tell me if it actually did. i dont follow niki that closely) this is an unbelievable thing to do to a healthy child, yet alone one with a severe illness. we are basically looking at denial of assistance.

so many things surrounding nikis story are designed to make him as miserable as possible. i cannot help but feel that he exists purely as comic relief, for funny bickering, and superficial drama. i dont really like that at all, his misery just gets exploited.

EVEN SO... his self-image is actually really fascinating. as rinne likes to point out again and again, niki has no self-worth. he works two jobs, one of which he hates, he constantly gets into dangerous situations, and he will do anything just for some crumbs, and quickly forgets when others treat him badly. and of course, the worst bit:

es!! main story, please dont make me go find it

to some degree, he just accepts this as something he deserves. there is no consideration for his own quality of life, somewhere along the lines it seems like he got conviced just surviving is all he gets. he internalized self-degredation to a dangerous degree and i never see anyone mention this mental affliction specifically as a comorbidity of his disability. to me, there is without a doubt a relation here. sure, maybe he would still fight with this otherwise, just because he had to witness his fathers fall from grace as a child and knows there is a stigma attached to his name now. but i think you can tell it is more than that, from the way he is ashamed to beg (even in a life or death scenario, as seen in hot limit), as if his condition was his own fault.

this circles back to the point i made earlier for eichi; how much nikis life is worth, is measured in his economical value.

of the characters i have spoken of so far, nikis is financially the most accurate to real life. there is no safety net for him, no convenient family wealth.

(at this point it feels important to mention that somehow rinne manages to be the only person entirely aware of the danger and desires to change nikis mindset, YET he is a huge strain on nikis health. i dont know how those two function.)

Just a Lamb. Tatsumi

tatsumis specific trauma is a unique one: while most other characters struggle with conditions they were born with or developed as they grew up, tatsumis injury is the result of strain and violence. those are two different pairs of shoes, though the outcome may be similar. whether it is worse to be born into circumstances you cannot escape or to have to live with having something thrust upon you unfairly is up to personal judgement. pain is not really quantifiable. its just important to keep in mind, i think. under the circumstances tatsumi grew up in, he has his own burdens. it is very easy in many ways to compare and contrast him with eichi. of course this applies to how they used their bodies too: as an expandable resource. they had ideals for their school life (and beyond) that just seemed far more important and they both ended up in hospital because of this. (+ we know tatsumis surroundings were purposefully manipulated to destroy him)

and, of course, tatsumi got attacked later on. he never really talks about it directly but his legs seem to talk for him, in ways.

the story does not quite make it clear whether his occasional weakness and pain are the result of old injuries or entirely psychosomantic, and i dont think there is a real need to know, as a reader. in fact, in a certain light, i think it can be considered good that we dont know for certain: it would be relevant for tatsumi himself, sure, since it would influence which kinds of treatments and help he can seek out. however, i think the ambiguity may foster a certain level of sympathy in readers.

often psychosomatic problems are not taken seriously enough in real life: they cannot be proven physically and they dont fit into the neat little boxes that the ICD wants you to believe exist, so they cannot be defined on paper or easily explained to doctors or insurance providers.

to foster empathy with his situation requires his character to be lovable and for the narrative to treat him with care as well. which is thankfully the case. alkaloid are dear with him and, despite the fact he cannot perform in his work enviroment all the time, he is very respected for his other skills. he is a well-rounded person.

all that aside. it is absolutely worth to mention tatsumi pre-injury, too. he came up with a form of small-scale universal income among a semi-union at school. without getting too much into all that. (obbligato really seems like required lecture in the realm of enstars stories) the entire concept strives for social equality and is extremely anti-discrimination. it fundamentally goes against the idea that someone needs to "deserve" care, and is the opposite of the mindset i described with eichi and niki above. he never had to make first-hand experiences with disability to be extremely compassionate. this seems really rare among people in real life, even those who preach altruism.

While we are Here. K.... Kaname

as mentioned, i spoke a little about kaname before. so i wont get into the complex of caregiving.

it is extremely satisfying we got to meet kaname, if only for one event story. he does not have to remain a faceless motivation behind himeru and tatsumis lives, he thankfully became humanized.

the entire conflict around kaname at the moment is a matter of bodily autonomy. how much of your person can be in anothers hand, ethically? there is no excuse for the theft of his (idol) identity through himeru but the damage is done now. ideally, you dont want any part of yourself to depend on others but the disabled reality is that this is very often impossible. especially for kaname. there simply is no one else who could be responsible for him right now and, to be fair, at least when it comes to medical care, himeru seems to behave very responsibly.

repeating what has been said in the other post but i am worried for kanames seemingly inevitable reintroduction to the story. he has been in a comatose state for a year. if he wakes (since this is fiction, it is possible to exchange 'if' for 'when', realistically it really would be an 'if' though) he would most likely be confronted with permanent neurological and physical damage and years of rehabilitation. at least logically. (not to mention the psychological shock) would this be written with compassion and a sense of realism? it makes for a compelling source of conflict and emotional hardships that could be extremely worthwhile to explore. i just cant entirely bring myself to trust the writers with this one but i would love to be convinced otherwise.

that is, of course, if they dont somehow just skip rehabilitation entirely and declare it a miracle healing.....

imo, the in-game discourse between characters is just as important as his future development. i just really hope autonomy and recovery will be large topics.

He doesnt go here, but. Adonis

so bringing him up just really feels necessary within the context of this post because of his interests. one of adonis hobbies is sign language and accessibility.

this is, i think, maybe the best thing they ever did with his "protector" persona. it just fits so well, it is a direct conversion of ideals to actions. knowing undead songs have been translated for a deaf audience in canon is extremely wholesome and uplifting, even if it is entirely inconsequential for the story and just something that gets mentioned.

(now that sandstorm is out on engstars, you can check that out too for further mentions of this! if i could wish for one thing, it would be for the stories to acknowledge that there are tons of independent sign languages and i would love to know which one adonis and rei speak... you ever think about how adonis speaks like four languages fluently. at least.)

nightless city live, chapter 3

everyone in undead loved that and supported the vision. to see koga, who is usually against anything but musical performances and wishes to express art freely, praise the idea really puts deaf identity and accessibility in a great light. it is a very positively radical forwardthinking idea.

so, i just wanted to mention that. adonis is treated horribly by the narrative a lot, it entirely fails to grasp his identity and is insensitive towards foreign cultures, but i would die for him i think.

finishing thoughts

like mentioned, please absolutely let me know if you have different related ideas or recommendations. or corrections, or worries over something i wrote!!! learning and improving is always great. i am sorry i could not get into so many other characters, the ones i wrote about are those that i feel confident enough to comment on. in the future i would love to meet maguro!! i just havent really read any mama stories at all :'''3

i feel like i barely said anything at all and barely engaged with text enough since i didnt get into any character specifically. i would love to write another post about ritsu or rei or both. a draft for it has been sitting around for ages (as did the draft for this post, lol) but i hope someone will find an interesting thought in here somewhere.

all in all, enstars is actually... surprisingly nice to read for the disability in there??? even if it is disappointing in handling many other things. of course, the writings not always ideal (i read hidden beast just the other day and the ableism in there took years off my life) but often its really nice. nothing hits quite like seeing real emotions and experiences through some metaphorical stylized anime lense, you feel.

anyway thank you for listening. i am actually for real done now.

#enstars #ensemble stars #enstarsposting #did i overreact and write too much..... ah... nay......

71 notes · View notes

misscammiedawn · 3 months

Text

Intentional, Accidental and Allegorical representation in media

CW: Suicide, stigmatizing language, homophobia/transphobia mentions.

Spoiler warnings: Mr. Robot, Deadly Premonition 1 & 2, The Missing: JJ Macfield & The Island of Memories, Star Trek DS9, Crazy Ex-Girlfriend.

So... today's essay is going to focus on less ideal bits of media representation. Some of the discussed media may have insensitive depictions of vulnerable groups. Please read with care.

One of the things I've focused on since starting Media, Myself and I was finding overt pieces of representation that I felt did a good job of taking issues of chronic dissociative disorders and putting them to screen or page.

I've covered memoirs, I've covered stories written by former social workers about generational trauma, I've covered games that explain the concept of derealization and characters diagnosed with DID.

Every entry so far has been clear and overt in their presentation of mental illness and in telling I've tried to explain the ups and downs of how the material was presented and what they got right vs wrong.

Our latest entry in the series was a memoir, written by a person diagnosed with DID. Though I cannot speak to the personal lives of the authors for Night in the Woods, The Incredible Hulk, Mr. Robot and Umineko; it is not apparent that they experience the conditions that they write about.

And that's okay. Not all fiction must be written from a personal perspective of lived experience.

The issue comes in when even well meaning creatives want to write overt representation without the proper level of experience and sensitivity reading.

As I covered in my Mr. Robot write-up, Sam Esmail wrote Elliot's DID to fit the split personality trope (in way of copying Fight Club) and needed to apply the real world condition to the plot. For the most part it is successful and deserves praise for being that rare piece of mainstream media that overtly explains part roles with the correct terms "protector" and "persecutor" and how these functions relate to the system's origins.

Then it finishes with the discussion of "The Real Elliot" and includes a heartbreaking scene where the Elliot we have known the entire show tells his sister "I love you" and that sister, Darlene, wanting her 'real' brother back, leaves the room without a word.

Many people, myself included, felt hurt and alienated by this complete misrepresentation of our condition and did not appreciate a hurtful piece of stigma being launched into the public psyche for further misunderstandings. If you hate the show because of this mishandling of the topic then I would not blame you.

On a recent rewatch, though, I saw this moment from the final episode of season 1:

When I first saw this scene I felt a deep well of comfort in seeing something true to my experience displayed in a way no fiction had ever attempted to display before. Every part is equal. We are all part of the same system. There's no part more valid than the rest. One part acting against the system will breed dysregulation.

The child part of Elliot even says that Rami Malek's character is "hurting the family" by forcing the rest of them away and denying them.

It is clear now that the show is over that this was not intended to be a piece of representation but instead a way of obfuscating the final episode twist that the Elliot we follow is actually an alter and not 'the real Elliot'. He was "hurting the family" by sealing away 'the real Elliot' not by rejecting the system.

It hurt to see a moment that resonated so strongly be overturned at a later point.

It is presently believed, though study is always ongoing, that children who experience CPTSD in their formative years do not develop the stability to create an integrated sense of self. This truth is relevant in the formation of chronic dissociative disorders and personality disorders such as Borderline Personality Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder. The root of all of these symptoms being tied up in CPTSD. There is debate in the psychological field on if personality disorders are worth diagnosing as they tend to lead to stigmatization and self-pathologizing in ways that distract from treating the root trauma, but that is a topic beyond the scope of this essay.

Without a stable sense of self the child grows up with an "disintegrated core" that shifts and changes to help gain the needs for safety and comfort based on what will work in any given environment. In DID there is a layer of shielding from PTSD triggers involved that makes it so ego/personality states can form dissociative barriers between one another which leads to the parts forming. With Borderline these fluctuations tend to be less stable and lead to Identity Disturbance, where a person feels alienated from their own identity.

BPD and DID have a lot in common and it leads to debate in the psychological field that they may be different presentations of the same condition. In my experience labels are only as effective as they serve the person who holds them and anything that can forge connection and understanding should be cherished.

But going back to the original point, Mr. Robot had accidentally provided me solid representation that I latched onto. It was not intended to be a representation of what the creators understood DID to be but it did hit something which matches the lived experience of at least one person watching.

It can be powerful when you see a piece of media reflect parts of your experience back at you. Even if it was never meant to in the first place.

Before we continue with this essay I wish to state firmly that everyone is entitled to every single message and emotion that they have ever gleaned from fiction. No one should be told that their sense of comfort and warmth is wrong to have just because it was not authorial intent. I never want my words to ever strip something that is a positive from anyone's lives. I hope that never happens.

But that's the topic of this essay. Accidental representation and Intentional representation and what the benefits and detriments are.

As we see above, intentional representation that is made by creators who does not have lived experience can lead to misinformation, misunderstanding and harm. Even the most well meaning creatives are prone to this.

In way of example, let's talk about a creator who clearly means well and has included topics of gender and sexuality in the heavy majority of his works.

SWERY 65 (Hidetaka Suehiro) is the creator of Deadly Premonition and head of White Owls studios. In 2018 SWERY's team developed The Missing: J.J Macfield and the Island of Memories. It's a short game that displays the following message each time it is booted up:

The game starts with a pair of women, JJ and Emily, on a camping trip on an island and Emily attempts to engage intimacy with JJ before being rejected. The next morning Emily is missing and JJ must find their childhood best friend and potential love interest while memories from their past appear in the way of text messages. Towards the climax of the game we understand that Emily had left clothes in JJ's room and her mother had found them and had sent her to conversion therapy. The game is fairly vague about the circumstances and it's easy to read this as JJ's mother finding out that JJ is a lesbian.

In the final chapter of the story we find out that JJ is transgender. That the entire game is a dream sequence after she attempted to take her own life during a university lecture. The game makes it clear that the JJ we play as is who she wishes she were and that in reality she has not yet begun transitioning. In the reality section of the game she speaks with her developmental voice and is not wearing a wig. We still identify her as JJ and the game even includes a New Game + mode where you can play as the JJ from the reality segment complete with every voice line read in her developmental voice.

It is a fairly good piece of representation particularly as the game and the development are Japanese and Hidetaka Suehiro does not apparently have lived experience with transition. Albeit it heavily fetishizes the suffering inherent to transition with the body mutilation gameplay mechanic feeding into the nature of the subtext.

Unfortunately, like the Mr. Robot example above, it can be easy to focus on the negative aspects of the representation and feel hurt/betrayed by the good that The Missing does when compared with other projects by the same creator.

In 2020 the same creative team released Deadly Premonition 2, a sequel to the cult classic game that itself had some slightly problematic depictions of gender and sexuality. Both games the culprit is explicitly LGBT and their motives are rooted in the abuse they received for living as their chosen identity. A topic included in The Missing also.

It's makes it difficult to accept the good representation experienced when the very next game involves a sequence that had to be patched out of the game with an apology from the creator for insensitivity.

It's up to a member of the audience to take what they like and leave what they don't but it's a good example of how overt representation can lead to missteps by even the most well meaning creator.

But let's step into accidental representation because the Deadly Premonition games can easily be read as representing CDD, even if it is not intentional. The main character of the game is Francis York Morgan. Throughout the game he seeks guidance from "Zach" who he speaks to constantly both when he is alone and when around other characters, though when people ask he informs them that it is a private matter which he does not discuss.

It is easy for those playing the game to think of Zach as the player themselves. Especially as York entrusts Zach to handle all of the combat segments of the game and we are prompted to answer questions when York asks for Zach's opinions on the investigation. It's also easy to ignore all of the comments the NPCs make about Francis Morgan's huge scar. York has a scar on his face and an odd patch of missing hair after all.

The final chapter of the game reveals that when he was young Zach witnessed the horrific death of his parents and was so traumatized that he was sheltered by an inhabitant of an extra-dimensional plane of existence who protects him from all the dangers in the world. Which sounds a lot like the formation of a protector alter to me. York fronts pretty much all of the time but keeps in constant communication with Zach and does his best to live their shared life in a way that will one day let Zach take control, which happens at the end and we get to see the protagonist as all of the NPCs saw him up until that point.

(York on left, Zach on right)

The epilogue sequence for Deadly Prem 2 even gives a heartwarming depiction of plurality in having literal IM messages from York appearing on Zach's desktop during a video call.

It's arguable over whether or not this is accidental representation or not. The circumstances of Zach and York's partnership do meet the typical standards of overt CDD depictions but there is no pathology involved in the depiction whatsoever.

Which is a big difference between Overt Representation and less overt kinds.

When Mr. Robot discusses dissociative identity disorder or Night in the Woods discusses derealization the story needs to take time to have characters explain the concepts to characters within the fiction and the audience. At the heart of all things, this form of representation is aimed at people who are not in the know about these conditions.

When it vibes with our experiences and makes us feel seen it is doing that as a side effect of presenting the experience to an audience. Generally the expectation would be that the majority of the audience do not happen to share these experiences and need help in being able to relate, particularly when the creators do not experience the condition for themselves.

In intentional representation cases where the creative team do have lived experience then the art of making an emotional connection with the audience is a matter of someone trying to convey that which they feel and experience, which makes those who resonate to have a higher chance of being and feeling seen.

Even that doesn't always seem to work out as expected though.

Crazy Ex-Girlfriend is a musical romantic comedy TV Show which holds the interesting record of managing to complete its full TV run of 4 seasons despite being consistently drawing abysmally low ratings. It is arguably one of the best intentional representations of BPD in all of media, even sitting higher than works adapted from biographies such as Girl, Interrupted.

Well... part of the argument is that it was never intended to be.

The main character, Rebecca Bunch, is a Jewish woman with a highly religious family who makes rash and impulsive decisions that lead her to live in LA County restarting a highly successful law degree so she can chase an ex-boyfriend. She is played by the show's creator, Rachel Bloom, who is a Jewish woman with a highly religious family (her cousin, a rabbi, peformed the ceremony for her wedding). She was born and raised in LA County and she has an outspoken history with mental illness including OCD, Anxiety and Depression.

Rebecca Bunch is not Rachel Bloom even if they share many elements and initials. Rachel Bloom once said she is 80% autobiographical

(2 examples that showed up when I searched the topic, top from TheWrap and bottom from Chubstr)

But Rachel Bloom does not have BPD. Rebecca Bunch didn't until Season 3. But... she always had BPD. It just... wasn't intentional.

When starting work on season 3 the creative team spoke with therapists to determine the direction of the show and it was decided that Rebecca's diagnosis based on her actions in the show and her behaviors would best fit BPD and the final 2 seasons of the show were tailored around this to show effective therapy can help benefit a person in need. It leads to a positive ending for the show.

But even when Bloom was autobiographically placing her own symptoms on the page, enough that the story about Harvey Guillen having to play a person based on himself, the narrative and drama of the story required the character take actions that lead to a depiction of BPD rather than OCD/Anxiety.

Even though the intention did not kick in to the 3rd season, which only exists via miracles and CW refusing to give up on the show, Bunch is often listed as one of the best fictional depictions of BPD in TV/Movies, alongside Anakin Skywalker, Catra and Clementine Kruczynski. None of whom are diagnosed with BPD or seen to be struggling with mental illness. But they all fit the bill remarkably well. Enough that should a therapist be introduced into the plot of Star Wars, She-Ra or Eternal Sunshine they could easily take their existing characters and make the diagnosis intentional by giving it the label.

The same can even happen with gender and sexuality. Whether it is asexual representation from Jughead and Todd Sanchez from Archie Comics and Bojack Horseman respectively; Morph being genderfluid and using they/them pronouns in X-Men '97 or Halo/Violet in Young Justice coming out non-binary having a discussion about their preferred pronouns; or Korra and Asami's bisexuality in the Avatar universe.

All of these were not part of the blueprint when the character was brought to the stage, they just seemed a natural evolution of the character as the story progressed or, with situations like Umbrella Academy's 3rd season adapting Elliot Page's real life transition into the plot, it was necessary for the fiction to meet reality.

And this is of course ignoring the more important factor.

We live in a day and an age where we can have Viktor Hargreeves as a leading man in an ensemble superhero show. We can dedicate storylines to people discovering and exploring their non-binary identities and preferred pronouns.

That wasn't always the case. Which brings us to our final type of representation.

Allegorical.

When I say "this wasn't always the case", I do not intend to imply that allegorical representation has gone anywhere. It still remains with us and is as effective today as it ever was. But in the past, particularly the 90s, it was necessary.

Where intentional representation (and accidental that becomes intentional) has the luxury of using the correct language and educating an audience, allegorical representation speaks directly to the group in question without regard for the mainstream audience.

This can also happen in intentional and accidental forms. The quintessential example for trans people is The Matrix, a story where people who reject the reality that we are sold by the dominant culture and seek to find community of those who exist outside of that system and to wake up to their true reality and their chosen names after taking a pill. To those who know the feelings that Trinity and Neo discuss in the first 20 minutes of the movie, who see the forms of intimacy displayed in their romance and acknowledge the villain deadnaming as an insult; there is no question that it is superb representation of a lived reality. To a cis individual who has never had to ask those questions and do not know the violence of being denied a name, they would not even approach the questions the movie constantly asks to anyone who can listen.

But there are numerous examples of allegorical representation that are there to allow the content to exist in spite of censors and editors.

Garnet from Steven Universe is intended to be a wlw couple but their romance could not be overtly displayed in a children's show. Famously the show creator had to trade in all of their good will and bargaining power for the show they created in order to depict the wedding of Sapphire and Ruby on the show. Until then the concept of Fusion was introduced to show soulmates intertwined and working in unison. Itself a little bit of accidental plurality representation.

Of course, symbiosis appears to be a common point for such depictions.

Anyone who lived through the 90s would know it was the wild west for representation where the allegories could be paper thin but could never be confirmed. We were simultaneously accepting as a culture and absolutely terrified to commit to the retaliation that would come from actually using the words and being positive. The 90s was a time of cowardice and cruelty. Punching down was always allowed. Friends, the most popular show of the era, included a main character whose ex-wife left for another woman as a show long punchline and they included more transphobic jokes in some episodes than BIPOC characters in the entire run of the show.

We could laugh at the gays in Will & Grace but we couldn't celebrate them by allowing Xena and Gabrielle to be overtly gay. Just heavily implied.

And transphobia was the worst at the time.

Star Trek Deep Space 9 stepped around the stigma when they introduced Jadzia Dax. Dax may not actually be trans.

But she is a trans allegory.

Dax is a trill, a symbiotic entity that needs to bond with a host to live. Up until the events of the show it had been bonded with a male host, Curzon, who was Cisco, the main character's, mentor. The show often depicts the familiarity Cisco has with Dax despite Jadzia Dax (and Ezri Dax) being different incarnations of the same entity. As shown above, Jadzia is her name now.

The people of the era certainly were aware of the allegory at play and starved of any positive depictions in media they firmly latched on. Here's a 1997 magazine with Dax on the cover, celebrating Gene Roddenbury's show going "where no trans had gone before"

Allegorical representation is important. Especially as many pieces of media are shared globally and overt representation is often banned from territories where people are still starving to see themselves reflected in media.

So... with that said. Let me sum up my beliefs on the topic.

Intentional Representation often is in dialogue with the whole audience. It often intends to speak directly to those who are not part of the populations being represented, assuming a lack of familiarity. This is not always the case but is the assumed.

Accidental Representation begins a dialogue with the populations being represented and typically do not become aware of the fact that this dialogue has begun but can come to take it and make it part of the fiction's DNA.

Allegorical Representation is in constant and meaningful discussion with the populations represented and those sympathetic to them. It knows exactly what it is doing and does not need to conform to the expectations or understandings of the broader audience.

It's why I love allegories so damned much.

For more essays like this please check out our Media, Myself and I tag, we typically focus on dissociative disorders there.

#camden posting #media myself and i #domo arigato mr alderson #mr robot #bpd #did #watch me post my trauma in public #media essays #star stuff #crisp spring morning

19 notes · View notes

torque-witch · 11 months

Text

Getting Back into Witchcraft - 10/30/23 - Who Can Use Witchcraft?

Literally anyone can use witchcraft. Simple as that.

But, for the sake of (me) delving back into witchcraft, let's talk about the historical and relevant point of this idea - that witchcraft has primarily been used as a tool of the oppressed, undermined, marginalized, chronically ill, mentally ill, poor, othered, etc. This includes various cultures and indigenous practice (where referred to by these groups as such).

While it is somewhat difficult as just someone on the internet to find specific examples of this, it shouldn't be a surprise that the constant onslaught of government control, societal conservatism, religious colonialism & imperialism, the wiping out of various cultures, the entirety of the feminist and lgbtqia+ movement around the world - provokes ordinary people to disconnect from the norm in order to find peace, power and to fight back in ways that money and class can't afford them, because it often isn't accessible.

One example of course is the spell that was cast by Gerald Gardner and his group of witches in an attempt to keep Adolf Hitler at bay in the 40's. Whether you believe that it actually made a difference or not, it represents a time when people were so incensed about injustice and protecting their land, that they chose to conjure a defense mechanism built out of pure will and theory.

(Barring of course the very real criticism of Gardner, this is just an example we can use)

*And important note though in regards to this story, is that Gardner also volunteered as an air raid warden and provided some weapons as a part of tangible defense. In the same way, I think it's important to recognize that -

a) Being a witch implies that you are at odds with society, and you need to participate in activism in real life, and

b) doing so only increases the likelihood of your spells to work because you've already put energy into tangible actions

We will definitely talk about that idea more under the topic of spellcrafting, but I think it's important to recognize that being a witch is inherently political and socially at odds with the mainstream. It seems like as witchcraft becomes more acceptable and watered down, people do and will tend to ignore this for the sake of false positivity, love and light etc. But if we are using witchcraft as a tool to better ourselves or to protect ourselves from negativity, we should also be using it to do that for those around us that are disadvantaged or targeted.

Another point is that especially in the 00's, as we've learned about how dangerous covens can be, especially for women, that connection within the witchcraft community is becoming harder and harder to cultivate. People are wary, weary and there is always the looming risk of white supremacy leaking into our circles. So it is even more important to be knowledgeable about politics, dog whistles, scams, cults and about what sexual abuse can entail. At the end of the day, it is more dangerous for you to be uninformed and avoiding all negativity. Knowlege is what gives you protection and power.

On a related note - although there is still a big social implication that witches can only be women and a lot of the violence has been targeted at women, it is historically incorrect and factually incorrect that only biological females (ew) can practice witchcraft. That's not even considering that most of the original texts on witchcraft were written by men because women were either not allowed to be authors or had a very hard time accessing education or support in that sense. This contributed historically to afab people having to practice in seclusion or private and being demonized while men had an easier time sharing their own ideas. *Some people tend to think that this further justifies men being barred from being welcome in witchy spaces - and there are valid concerns - but at the end of the day that's enough proof that men, women and anyone in between can participate in occult practice and study it. I think it's also fair to say that while gender isn't a true factor in being able to cast spells, it can certainly shape your practice in an individual sense, and there are lessons to be learned from anyone who practices regardless of gender, or because of it!

Then comes the great debate -

Is "witch" a gender neutral term?

And yes, I think in 2023 we have come to the conclusion that it is - that witchcraft transcends gender - but there are always alternatives for those that may not feel comfortable with the social implications of gender that come with that term, or similarly Wizard or Warlock.

For that we can use practitioner, magician, mage, sorcerer, enchanter, occultist, (insert sect here)-mancer, etc.

I'm not sure if it's still used widely, but at one time "Wix" was also introduced as a non-binary version of Witch and is totally acceptable.

So, let's end this off with another Tarot reading!

Who can practice withcraft - The Hermit, Reversed

Personally I feel like the connection here is the idea that isolating and gatekeeping the practice of witchcraft in regards to gender is limiting and harmful to the overall potential of knowledge available to us. Becoming so bent on a single idea or belief can be harmful and limits us as a community and a resource of power, and putting yourself (or your gender) above others when it comes to access doesn't gain you any favors or special privilege. We can all walk individual paths within witchcraft, but closing off the experience as a whole is harmful.

Is being a witch inherently political - 10 of Pentacles

This makes me think about the dynamic that the oppressed and underserved are constantly at odds with - the desire and fight to have the same resources as those with generational wealth, access to healthcare, access to education, even having access to community in general. A critical point of witchcraft is to put control back into our hands where society or global power has taken away that luxury. The 10 of pentacles represents all of that, and how that wealth of knowledge and even tangible wealth spreads out to our communities when we actually foster that kind of environment. To me, witchcraft is a path for a lot of people to build safe spaces and thriving communities while under a much larger pretense of control.

What gives a witch power - The Wheel of Fortune, Reversed

The Reversed Wheel represents confusion and the inability to predict the future; it is a feeling of being out of control. So consequently, what gives a witch power is the ability to flip the card and produce clarity, bold decisions and wrangling all of the ways that the world throws you off. This could be through personal inner work, breaking generational curses. This could be through building up your own confidence and trusting your intuition. This could be through calling on various other powers and taking problems head on in unconventional ways. Just because the world is spinning in a different direction doesn't mean that you cannot find and cultivate a personal balance by tapping into your own power. Witches are path makers. Where there is none, a witch's power is to make one.

It's not a competition.

There it is. There is no point in trying to put yourself higher than others when it comes to witchcraft. It is a personal tool and experience, and people unlike you practicing it doesn't make you any less able to reach your goals. It is for everyone.

Be sure to visit Death's Head Divination for Tarot readings, pagan statuary, stickers, prints and more! Subscribe to an e-mail list here at the bottom of the page Insta | Tiktok | Blog

#torquetalks #deaths head divination #tarot community #witchcraft community #witchblr #beginner witch #baby witch #witchcraft for beginners

19 notes · View notes

thedisabilitybookarchive · 9 months

Text

Submission Guidelines

The biggest aspect of the Archive is the community involvement. If it wasn't for community support and submission, it simply would not exist. So if you would like to submit your own, here are a couple of guidelines to follow:

Submitting A Book:

If you want to submit a book, you can do so using my ask box or the google form. There are also several "Submit A Book" buttons on the website that will take you to the form. It is completely anonymous- I won't see any of your personal data, I will only see your response sheet.

If you know my main blog, do not send recommendations there. Send them here.

What To Include In A Submission:

Mandatory:

Book Title

Author(s) and/or Editor(s)

Disability Representation or Content

Fiction/Non-Fiction

Series (if relevant)

Optional:

Additional Representation (LGBTQ+, race, religion etc.)

Setting Location (just the country is fine)

Genre(s)

ISBN Number (if known)

Additional Comments (anything personal you would like added about the book, tropes it might fall into etc.)

Would Be Appreciated:

Content Warnings

Submitting An Author:

You can use my ask box, the comments on the site or the anonymous google form below. The author doesn't have to have written a book about/containing a disabled character, they just have to be disabled themself.

And yes, you can submit yourself.

What To Include In A Submission:

Author's Name

Notable Works

Website (if applicable)

Anything Else of Note

Banning Books:

9 times out of 10, every book submitted to the Archive is accepted and added on. I try not to deny any entry, but there have been a few so far that I need to review for various issues.

So long as I have found the book to have actual disability representation, it will likely be added. I do research every submission given to me, and have anonymous comments enabled on every post so that if there is an issue with a book, it can be voiced. And if a book is submitted through the asks, it also allows for community response.

What Type Of Disability Representation Can Be Submitted?

Physical disability, neurodivergence and mental health conditions, neurological conditions, autoimmune diseases, chronic and terminal illness etc. etc.

If you don't know the specifics of a character's disability but you can describe it- i.e. "some kind of neurological condition", "they have a lot of chronic pain" etc.- just tell me and I'll look into it. Sometimes I can't find the specifics either, and that's fine, but describing it will help me place it somewhere in the archive.

#the disability book archive #books #book submission #submission guidelines

2 notes · View notes

creativeera · 2 months

Text

Global Traditional Medicine: Playing Critical Role in Healthcare Worldwide

History and Evolution Traditional medicine has been practiced globally for thousands of years before modern medicine came into existence. Practices like Ayurveda from India, Traditional Chinese Medicine, Arabic Unani medicine, Japanese Kampo, African traditional medicine, and others developed independently across cultures to address communities' healthcare needs. While rooted deeply in ancient wisdoms and beliefs, its systems have evolved over time incorporating new understandings. For instance, Ayurveda's core concepts were established over 3,000 years ago based on natural philosophies but continues updating treatments using herbal and mineral sources. Similarly, Traditional Chinese Medicine's core texts like the Yellow Emperor's Inner Canon were written around 2600 BC but practices have integrated modern research findings. This mix of ancient wisdom and modernization allows traditional medicine to remain relevant for current healthcare demands. Holistic Healing Philosophies at Core of Traditional Medicines Unlike conventional medicine which focuses on specific illness diagnosis and targeted treatment, it employ holistic healing philosophies. Ayurveda, for instance, aims to balance the doshas or vital energies (vata, pitta, kapha) in the body for overall wellness. Chinese Medicine works on the idea of free flow of qi or life force energy through meridian pathways. Imbalance or obstruction in the flow causes illness. Treatments like herbal remedies, acupuncture, massage, and lifestyle & diet regimens harmonize the flow of energies in the body, mind and spirit. Global Traditional Medicine holistic approach addresses not just symptoms but underlying root causes of disease. It also acknowledges the impact of lifestyle, environment and psychological factors on health. It thus treat patients holistically rather than just symptoms. Continued Prevalence of Traditional Medicine Practices Despite widespread availability of modern biomedicine globally, it continues thriving based on cultural roots and effectiveness. The World Health Organization (WHO) estimates that around 80% of developing countries still rely on traditional & complementary medicine for primary healthcare. In developed countries too, over 40% population has used some form of traditional therapy. They are also integrated into national healthcare systems of over 160 nations. This sustained popularity is due to it addressing healthcare needs not fully met by conventional systems. They offer culturally-sensitive, low-cost treatments which are easily accessible in local communities. They are also preferred for chronic diseases and conditions like arthritis, infertility, dementia, seasonal ailments where they provide satisfactory relief. Their holistic healing philosophies also align well with changing consumer preference for natural therapies. Given this continued prevalence worldwide, development and integration of it holds huge promise. Get more insights on Global Traditional Medicine

About Author:

Ravina Pandya, Content Writer, has a strong foothold in the market research industry. She specializes in writing well-researched articles from different industries, including food and beverages, information and technology, healthcare, chemical and materials, etc. (https://www.linkedin.com/in/ravina-pandya-1a3984191)

#Global Traditional Medicine #Herbal Remedies #Alternative Medicine #Cultural Practices #Holistic Healing #Natural Medicine #Ayurveda #Traditional Chinese Medicine

1 note · View note

crispyjenkins · 4 years

Note

Can you do more of that mandalorian obiwan jangobi fic? It was so good!

(i’m very feckin attached to this obi and i’m so happy y’all want more. blood and injury warning for this one! jangobi is very soft but obi is very bad at keeping himself alive, and ruusaan is the only one with a braincell. part 1 here!

umm. this got really long. it just... kept getting longer. fills will not be this long consistently i just. i really love this obi.

**ruusaan’s name and design from this! thank you to @amillionstarsandyouchoosethisone for letting me write her, i love her dearly)

Ruusaan remembers a time before the Supercommando Codex, even if her sisters do not, and as soon as she’s old enough to follow Mereel, she crashes the Duke’s council meeting discussing the cutting of the budget for the poorer levels of Sundari. In front of every one of her father’s supporters, she recites the shuk’la buirok and leaves every Kalevalan piece of herself behind.

The Haat Mando’ade welcome her with open arms in spite of her origins, Mereel trains her to fight and helps her build her beskar’gam, and she hopes someday her sisters will grow to make their own decisions as she had.

Ruusaan walks her path alone unless Mereel calls on her, traveling the stars as Haat'ad, nameless still, but infinitely free. She has no right to Mandalore as her dar'buir believes, but she can live the Truth, and if that's good enough for her Mand'alor, then it’s good enough for her.

When she accepts the call to Melida/Daan seven years after joining Mereel, she does so with caution —she will not pull the Haat'ade into their war— but when she lands just outside the capital of Zehava, she’s greeted by a small party of children. A girl that can’t be much older than Satine approaches Ruusaan immediately, red hair greasy and in disarray, but exuding determination.

“You’re the commando?” she demands without preamble, hiding her shaking hands by forcing them into fists.

Ruusaan removes her helmet and tucks it under her arm so the kid can see her raise her eyebrow. “I am. You put out the contract?”

The girl clenches her jaw and nods. “I’m Cerasi. I need you to get someone to Coruscant.”

Immediately wary, Ruusaan looks around the girl to the other children, who stand around someone that positively hums in the Force. “Your contract said transport of goods.”

“He belongs to the Jedi,” she says, spitting the word like it’s poison. “But they aren’t answering his communications, and we— Force, we don’t know what’s wrong with him.” Her confidence falters, darting a quick look behind herself before gripping her arm. “Listen, I don’t have much, we only just won and Nield isn’t— He helped us, he’s the reason we won, no matter what the rest of the Young say. He doesn’t deserve to die here.”

“Kid, I’m not taking your money,” Ruusaan cuts in, Cerasi’s face falling before she continues, “Mandos have creeds about children, I’ll take him for free. Where is he?”

It takes Cerasi a moment to realise what all that means, but then blinks and dashes back to the little group of children. With a growing sense of foreboding, Ruusaan follows, watching the kids part to show a tiny padawan in dirty tunics laying in a makeshift litter, and Ruusaan has to close her eyes for a moment to calm herself. The Force around him wavers like a heat haze, and Ruusaan isn’t trained enough to know what that means; nothing good, if the flickering of the boy’s Force signature is anything to go by.

There’s dried blood on his lips and chin, and she can hear his breathing from here, ragged like it hurts, and it probably does. Cerasi bites her lip and moves to pick the kid up, but Ruusaan quickly steps in and kneels to check the kid’s ribs first. Nothing seems broken, he barely even seems bruised, which certainly doesn’t fill her with confidence, but at least it’s safe enough to lift him.

She puts her helmet back on before carefully scooping the kid into her arms, and he actually feels an alright weight for how thin the other children look. Ruusaan turns back towards her ship and jerks her head for Carasi to follow her.

“What’s his name?”

Cerasi quickly moves to catch up, chewing at her lip again. “Obi-Wan, but that isn’t what the Jedi he was with called him.”

Hm. “How long has he been sick?”

“He came to us like that. He would just— cough, all the time, and the Jedi didn’t know what was wrong with him.” She follows Ruusaan up the ramp into her little ship, heading for the medbay. “He— After he promised to help us, the Jedi left him here.”

Rage nearly smothers her, and Ruusaan locks it into her chest for later, after she leaves atmo; Obi-Wan twitches in her arms in response to her sudden spike of emotion, and she can’t have that. “They left him?”

“Look, I don’t— I don’t know how it all works. But Obi-Wan gave up being a padawan to help us, I think, and I think that’s why the Jedi aren’t responding.” Cerasi watches her set Obi-Wan on the far-too large bed, her lip starting to bleed under her teeth.

Ruusaan hands her a tissue, but sets aside her helmet to quickly cut the boy out of his tabards and tunics. Just as she had thought, Obi-Wan is wearing a compression shirt under it all; Cerasi looks terrified when she cuts him out of this too, and Ruusaan sends her a reassuring smile.

“Peace, kid, Mandalorians accept all. Has he been wearing this often?”

“All the time,” she says uncertainly, ducking forward when beckoned to help Ruusaan get Obi-Wan’s dirty clothes out from under him. “Is that what caused this?”

“It certainly didn’t help.” They fall into silence as Ruusaan gets a ventilator hooked up, Cerasi jumping in to help as instructed, but there isn’t much Ruusaan can do with her sparse medical equipment. She doesn’t even have bacta.

“Are you... Are you going to take him to the Jedi?”

Ruusaan snorts, making sure Obi-Wan’s vitals are being logged before turning to Cerasi. “Absolutely not. I would never return a child to those that abandoned them.”

Obi-Wan makes a small sound, eyelids flickering for a moment, but he doesn’t wake, and Ruusaan realises her heart is in her throat. Well, that settles that, then. “I’ll take him back to my people, decide where he best belongs,” she adds, as if the gai bal manda isn’t already burning her lips.

It seems to satisfy Cerasi enough to return to the Young, and she leaves Obi-Wan with a kiss on the forehead and a whispered apology. She races out of the ship before Ruusaan can ask her anything else, and she does not follow. Ruusaan’s contract is on the bed behind her, and you cannot save someone who does not want to be saved.

Jango doesn’t know if it’s Ruusaan or Jaster’s machinations that has him covering contracts with Obi-Wan more than any other commando, but he’d appreciate it if they stopped before Jango has an actual heart attack.

Because Obi-Wan, for all his new calm and easy demeanor, is even more reckless than when he was a child, and Jango hadn’t thought that was possible. He jumps into fights without checking escape routes, and uses his rifle in close combat as well as his fists, he doesn’t travel with a jetpack, and he removes his helmet any time they’re not in an active right.

“It’s easier to breathe without it,” Obi-Wan tells him on another mercy mission to Concordia. “Buir tried to hook an oxygen tank up to it, but they were all too heavy.” And he shrugs like it's fine, and Jango decides he has a death wish.

Ruusaan either joins them on missions, or takes contracts nearby, never too far if... anything went wrong. Luckily, things rarely do, and Jango only has to see Ruusaan restart Obi-Wan’s lungs once after that first mission back, and even then Obi-Wan had been fine within the day.

They make it a year and a half of missions together before things go wrong, stranded in a rusty hut on Yutha during a dust storm, with Ruusaan somewhere on the other side of the canyon to the North taking a different job.

Theirs had been a simple contract to retrieve some Neimoidian’s data disk that he’d left with a lover, and Jango is only there because Obi-Wan had asked him to be, and if it weren’t for the dust storm, it might have been as easy as it sounded.

Obi-Wan is at the one window, the barrel of his rifle propped on the sill as he watches the red dirt road outside for anyone trying to take advantage of the storm, though they’re pretty sure their hiding spot has been abandoned for a while. Jango had taken up leaning on the wall on the other side of the window frame, watching Obi-Wan more than he’s watching the outside, and even after almost two years back working with other Haat’ade, he has trouble contending this Obi-Wan with the fourteen year-old that had once tried to set his cape on fire.

Obi-Wan flicks his eyes to Jango with a tiny, barely-there smirk and readjusts his rifle on his shoulder before returning to his vigil. Shaking his head, Jango is almost thankful Obi-Wan had removed his helmet as soon as they’d secured the hut; how else would he have seen the Yutha sunset painted on his face?

Hm. He should probably look into that affection that’s becoming harder to ignore.

“Jango,” Obi-Wan rasps, yanking his attention away from the rising dust storm as Obi-Wan’s hand darts up to his bleeding nose.

His entire body jerks, his blaster rifle clattering to the floor, and Jango has to dive forward to catch him before he hits his head on the windowsill. He starts coughing before Jango can even get him laid out, struggling against Jango’s arms and splattering blood across his chestplate.

And these coughs are worse than the last time, shorter, harsher, and Jango has been in enough battles to recognise someone going into shock.

This is all wrong, though, it never goes this fast, where Obi-Wan is already choking on his own lungs, eyes wild as his body attempts to shake apart, and Jango’s never had to deal with this alone, and oh Force, Ruusaan “the Jedi Killer” Tra’Galar is going to lose her foundling on Jango’s watch.

The dilapidated furniture starts to rattle as if shook from below, anything left on shelves or counters levitating for a moment before crashing to the ground. Jango yanks off his helmet and has to grab Obi-Wan’s wrists to stop him from clawing at his own armour, Jango feeling him pulling the Force in around them until it’s an almost unbearable weight.

And Jango can’t get him into shock position, not with him thrashing around with far more strength than he should possess with at least one lung collapsing, if his wheezing is anything to go by. His skin is cold and clammy when Jango manages to get a free hand onto his forehead, and despite years of having to patch up vode on the battlefield, Jango can’t tear his eyes from the blood that bubbles from his nose and drips down his face, staining his hair and making something dislodge in Jango’s chest.

“Hey, hey— Kid, hey, you with me?”

Obi-Wan blinks and his face scrunches, but he can’t seem to focus on Jango as he tries to jerk himself free from Jango’s hand. Holding him down is going against everything Jaster had taught him about shock, but every commando he’s had to treat for it has been unconscious by now, and even when Obi-Wan’s strength gives out, going limp against the floor, he doesn’t pass out, instead staying aware of his own rattling wheezes.

His fingers twitch in Jango’s hand, blinking again and jerking under the palm on his forehead; somewhere behind them, a piece of furniture crashes. Jango can’t honestly remember the last time he’d seen Obi-Wan use the Force, for anything: they keep it on the downlow even around the Haat’ade, even with Ruusaan broadcasting her own sensitivity as a point of pride. And Jango has never asked, why Obi-Wan will paint his beskar’gam silver but then refuse to acknowledge his past with the Jedi.

Something else crashes and Jango winces, moving to try and loosen Obi-Wan’s chestplate one-handed. It’s halfway through the process, with Obi-Wan’s jerking chest even more obvious, that Jango realises he isn’t going to survive it, if Obi-Wan dies like this. Force, he can’t take it if he dies like this.

The faint hum of a jetpack is the only warning Jango gets before the door to the hut explodes under blasterfire, Ruusaan shouldering through the remains and looking like a vengeful goddess with charred armour and a slice on her cheek.

She drops on Obi-Wan’s other side, tossing her rifle away to put one palm over Obi-Wan’s heart, and the other on his right side over his ribs. Jango makes to pull away and let her take over, but as soon as he does, Obi-Wan starts to thrash again, and Ruusaan’s hand flies out to stop Jango.

“Keep him calm,” she orders, brooking no argument, and Jango listens, grabbing Obi-Wan’s wrists again to settle in for seven of the worst minutes of his life — where Obi-Wan stops breathing entirely on them twice, and Ruusaan growls like a rancor before she manages to inflate both of his lungs properly.

Obi-Wan gasps on the sudden ability to inhale, eyes regaining some of their clarity, but he still can’t focus on either of them.

Ruusaan is unsurprised, grabbing up her rifle to swing the strap back over his shoulder. “How far is the ship?” she demands, and Jango’s been a soldier since he was fourteen, he can fall in and defer to Ruusaan’s command, even accept her lead with relief.

“Just over the ridge,” he says, slamming his helmet back on and shouldering Obi-Wan’s blaster as Ruusaan picks him up like he weighs nothing, even in full beskar’gam. Bewildered and a little intimidated, Jango helps put both her and Obi-Wan’s helmets on as well — the dust storm clearly isn’t stopping, and they can’t stay here.

He grabs Obi-Wan’s chestplate and follows Ruusaan back to their ship, and even though Obi-Wan is unconscious by the time they reach it, Jango is all too thankful to be able to close the hatch behind them.

In the medbay, he helps strip Obi-Wan of his armour, and then works on getting the blood off his face enough for a ventilator while Ruusaan rolls Obi-Wan’s flight suit down to his waist so she can get at his ribs.

Jango can hardly look at him, at the patchwork of darkening lavender bruises and the way his chest scars stand out against his heated skin. Carefully lifting Obi-Wan’s head to slip on the ventilator mask, he wishes he could wash Obi-Wan’s face properly, there’s still so much dried and drying blood under his nose and down his cheeks, and he just wishes he understood what the kark is wrong with him.

Instead of asking, Jango moves to get the bacta vaporiser set up while Ruusaan goes about checking Obi-Wan’s ribs for breaks.

Obi-Wan stirs when Jango is hooking up the second set of tubing to his mask, blinking blearily up at Jango as he freezes above him. They just sort of stare at each other for a moment, until Obi-Wan seems to get his bearings and relaxes under Ruusaan slowly dancing Force healing across his torso.

Panic lodges in Jango’s throat as Obi-Wan makes several attempts to lift his hand, grunting in frustration. Ruusaan glares, but allows it when he can finally raise a loose fist to Jango’s chest, tapping over his beskar’ta in proxy of his own, thanking Jango like he had actually done anything, and Jango has to lean on the head of the bunk with both hands.

“K’atini,” Obi-Wan whispers, voice sounding like it’d gone through a woodchipper, and Jango thinks kriff that, this is worse than pain, and they shouldn’t have to watch this kriffing kid die because of it.

Mando’a: shuk’la buirok — lit. “broken parent bond”, made up term for the real ability for a child to “divorce” their parent, legally labeling them as dar’buir or “no longer a parent”, which i’ve based on the term for spousal divorce shuk’la riduurok. Haat Mando’ade — lit. “true children of Mandalore”, True Mandalorians (slang shortened to Haat'ad/e) beskar’gam — Armour made of beskar, “Mandalorian Iron” that was actually probably a steel alloy gai bal manda — Mando’a adoption ceremony, lit. “name and soul” buir — “parent”, gender neutral vode — “brothers, comrades, siblings”, sing. vod, technically gender neutral but used most often in fandom as “brothers” beskar’ta — “iron heart”, the elongated hex-shape common in Mandalorian armour designs (great post here comparing them to katana tsuba). also called kar’ta beskar or “heart of the iron”. K'atini — “it is only pain”, used in the context of “get up. Keep going. You can and you will survive this.”

would gffa’s advanced medicine be able to perform mastectomies without scarring? yes. obi chose to keep his.

135 notes · View notes

solarpunkmagazine · 3 years

Text

Rebuilding Tomorrow with Disabled Folks in the Lead

Published Oct. 30, 2021.

Excerpt:

“Defying Doomsday is a more apocalyptic anthology with a tone of doom and stories about basic survival. Rebuilding Tomorrow, on the other hand, while not solarpunk, has a more optimistic and hopeful tone. Like solarpunk, it focuses on marginalized people—in this case people with disabilities and chronic illness—as protagonists and community leaders. Also like solarpunk, the stories in this anthology aren’t mired in apocalypse. Rather, they take past apocalypses as their starting point, and move beyond mere survival to recreate and rebuild communities and better futures in post-apocalypse worlds […]

Many of the authors whose stories appear in this book are writing from their own experience, giving the stories a feeling of authenticity that many attempts at inclusion, no matter how well intentioned, lack when written by those without the relevant lived experience. The result is that this anthology doesn’t just put protagonists in wheelchairs, for example, and call it (token) inclusion. They are told from perspectives that are unique to people who do, in fact, have that lived experience. Many of the stories also deal with practical issues and challenges that people living with chronic illness or disability might face in rebuilding society” (Norton-Kertson).

#solarpunk #solarpunk magazine #disability #disabled writers #disabled #future #Justine Norton-Kertson

102 notes · View notes

wolfstar-in-color · 3 years

Text

July Colorful Column: Remus is a Crip, and We Can Write Him Better.

There is one thing that can get me to close a fic so voraciously I don’t even make sure I’m not closing other essential tabs in the process. It doesn’t matter how much I’m loving the fic, how well written I think it is, or how desperately I want to know how it ends. Once I read this sentence, I am done.

It’s written in a variety of different ways, but it always goes something like this: “You don’t want me,” Remus said, “I am too sick/broken/poor/old/[insert chosen self-demeaning adjective here].”

You’re familiar with the trope. The trope is canonical. And if you’ve been around the wolfstar fandom for longer than a few minutes, you’ve read the trope. Maybe you love the trope! Maybe you’ve written the trope! Maybe you’re about to stop reading this column, because the trope rings true to you and you feel a little attacked!

Now, let’s get one thing out of the way right now: I am not saying the trope is wrong. I am not saying it’s bad. I am not saying we should stop writing it. We all have things we don’t like to see in our chosen fics. Maybe you can’t stand Leather Jacket Motorbike Sirius? Maybe you think Elbow Patch Remus is overdone? Or maybe your pet peeves are based in something a little deeper - maybe you think Poor Latino Remus is an irresponsible depiction, or that PWPs are too reductive? Whatever it is, we all have our things.

Let me tell you about my thing. When I first became very ill several years ago, there were various low points in which I felt I had become inherently unlovable. This is, more or less, a normal reaction. When your body stops doing things it used to be able to do - or starts doing things you were quite alright without, thank you very much - it changes the way you relate to your body. You don’t want to hear my whole disability history, so yada yada yada, most people eventually come to accept their limitations. It’s a very painful existence, one in which you constantly tell yourself your disability has transformed you into a burdensome, unworthy member of society, and if nothing else, it’s not terribly sustainable. Being disabled takes grit! It takes power! It takes a truly absurd amount of medical self-advocacy! Hating yourself? Thinking yourself unworthy of love? No one has time for that.

Of course, I’m being hyperbolic. Plenty of disabled people struggle with these feelings many years into their disabilities, and never really get over them. But here’s the thing. We experience those stories ALL THE TIME. Remember Rain Man? Or Million Dollar Baby? Or that one with the actress from Game of Thrones and that British actor who seemed like he was going to have a promising career but then didn't? Those are all stories about sad, bitter disabled people and their sad, bitter lives, two out of three of which end in the character completing suicide because they simply couldn’t imagine having to live as a disabled person. (I mean, come on media, I get that we're less likely to enjoy a leisurely Saturday hike, but our parking is SUBLIME.) When was the last time you engaged with media that depicted a happy disabled person? A complex disabled person? A disabled person who has sex? No really, these aren’t hypothetical questions, can you please drop a rec in the notes?? Because I am desperate.

There are lots of problems with this trope, and they’ve been discussed ad nauseam by people with PhDs. I’m not actually interested in talking about how this trope leads to a more prevalent societal idea that disabled people are unworthy of love, or contributes to the kind of political thought processes that keep disabled people purposefully disenfranchised. I’m just a bitch on Tumblr, and I have a bone to pick: the thing I really hate about the trope? It’s boring. I’m bored. You know how, like, halfway through Grey’s Anatomy you realized they were just recycling the same plot points over and over again and there was just no WAY anyone working at a hospital prone to THAT MANY disasters would stay on staff? It's like that. I love a recycled trope as much as the next person (There Was Only One Bed, anyone?). But I need. Something. Else.

Remus is disabled. BOLD claim. WILD speculation. Except, not really. You simply - no matter how you flip it, slice it, puree it, or deconstruct it - cannot tell me Remus Lupin is not disabled. Most of us, by this point, are probably familiar with the way that One Canonical Author intended One Dashing Werewolf to be “a metaphor for those illnesses that carry stigma, like HIV and AIDS” [I’m sorry to link you to an outside source quoting She Who Must Not Be Named, but we’re professionals here]. Which is... a thing. It’s been discussed. And, listen, there’s no denying that this parallel is a problematic interpretation of people who have HIV/AIDS and all such similar “those illnesses” (though I’ll admit that I, too, am perennially apt to turn into a raging beast liable to harm anything that crosses my path, but that’s more linked to the at-least-once-monthly recollection that One Day At A Time got cancelled). Critiques aside, Remus Lupin is a character who - due to a condition that affects him physically, mentally, emotionally, and intellectually - is repeatedly marginalized, oppressed, denied political and social power, and ostracized due to unfounded fear that he is infectious to others. Does that sound familiar?

We’re not going to argue about whether or not “Remus is canonically disabled as fuck” is a fair reading. And the reason we’re not going to argue about whether or not it’s a fair reading is because I haven’t read canon in 10-plus years and you will win the argument. Canon is only marginally relevant here. The icon of this blog is brown, curly haired Remus Lupin kissing his trans boyfriend, Sirius Black. We are obviously not too terribly invested in canon. The wolfstar fandom is now a community with over 25,000 AO3 fics, entire careers launched from drawing or writing or cosplaying this non-canonical pairing. We love to play around here with storylines and universes and races and genders and sexualities and all kinds of things, but most of the time? Remus is still disabled. He’s disabled as a werewolf in canon-compliant works, he’s disabled in the AUs where he was injured or abused or kidnapped or harmed as a child, he’s disabled in the stories that read him as chronically ill or bipolar or traumatized or blind or Deaf. I’d go so far as to say that he is one of very few characters in the Wide Wonderful World of media who is, in as close to his essence as one can be, always disabled. And that means? Don’t shoot the messenger... but we could stand to be a tiny bit more responsible with how we portray him.

Disabled people are complicated. As much as I’d like to pretend we are always level-headed, confident, and ready to assert our inherent worth, we are still just humans. We have bad days. We doubt our worth. We sometimes go out with guys who complain about our steroid-induced weight gain (it was a long time ago, Tumblr, okay??). But, we also have joy and fun and good days and sex and happiness and families and so many other things.

Remus is a disabled character, and as such, it’s only fair that he’d have those unworthy moments. But - I propose - Remus is also a crip. What is a crip? A crip - like a queer - is someone who eschews the limited boundaries placed on their bodies, who rejects a hierarchy of oppression in favor of an intersectional analysis of lived experience, who isn’t interested in being the tragic figure responsible for helping people with dominant identities realize how good they have it. Crips interpret their disabilities however they want, rethinking bodies and medicine and pleasure and pain and even time itself. Crips are political, community-minded, and in search of liberation.

Remus is a character who struggles with his disability, sure. But he’s also a character who leverages his physical condition to attempt to shift communities towards his political leanings, advocates for the rights of those who share his physical condition, and has super hot sex with his wrongfully convicted boyfriend ultimately goes on to build community and family. Having a condition that quite literally cripples you, over which you have no control, and through which you are often read as a social pariah? That’s disability. But using said condition as a means through which to build advocacy and community? Now that’s some crip shit.

Personally, I love disabled!Remus Lupin. But I love crip!Remus Lupin even more. I’d love to see more of a Remus who owns his disability, who covets what makes him unique, and who never ever again tells a potential romantic partner they are too good for him because of his disability. This trope - unlike There Was Only One Bed! - sometimes actually hurts to read. Where’s Remus who thinks a potential romantic partner isn’t good enough for him? Where’s Remus who insists his partners learn more about his condition in order to treat him properly? Where’s sexy wheelchair user Remus? Where’s Remus who uses his werewolf transformations as an excuse to travel the world? Where’s crip Remus??

We don’t have to put “you don’t want me” Remus entirely to bed. It is but one of many repeated tropes that are - in the words of The Hot Priest from Fleabag - morally a bit dubious. And let’s face it - we don’t always come to fandom for its moral superiority (as much as we sometimes like to think we do).

This is not a condemnation - it is an invitation. Able-bodied folks are all but an injury, illness, or couple decades away from being disabled. And when you get here, I sincerely hope you don’t waste your time on “you don’t want me”ing back and forth with the people you love. I’m inviting you to come to the crip side now. We have snacks, and without all the “you don’t want me” talk, we get to the juicy parts much faster.

Colorfully,

Mod Theo

#wolfstar #disability in fandom #disabled remus #crip remus #please write me some crip remus #I beg of you #fandom meta

110 notes · View notes

deadjihuam · 4 years

Text

The Long-Term Effects Of Trama (MasterPost)

((Based off my own personal research on the aftermath of torture.))

People who have been tortured can have a range of symptoms, including:

* Headaches

* Shaking or trembling muscles

* Hearing loss

* Vision problems

* Sleeping problems

* Anxiety attacks

* Nervousness

* Irritability

* Sexual problems

* Depression

* Aggression

* Suicidal thoughts

* Chronic pain

A person who has been tortured may try hard to avoid anything that reminds them of their traumatic experience. This may include:

* Keeping thoughts and feelings separate, and choosing only to think instead of feel.

* They may ‘disconnect’ from the world around them and seem to be mostly daydreaming.

* Since many torturers are medical professionals, the person may stay away from hospitals, clinics, doctors, dentists and nurses.

* They may get anxious if they see or experience something that reminds them of their trauma, even if that object or activity isn’t dangerous or threatening in itself.

* The person may try to avoid crowds, public places, authority figures and anyone who wears a uniform.

* Some may stay home as much as they can, and avoid travelling and meeting new people.

* Harmful ways of coping may include alcohol or drug abuse.

A condition known as post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) develops in some people after going through a frightening event. The symptoms of PTSD include:

* Flashbacks, intense memories and nightmares that are so vivid, it feels like the trauma is happening all over again

* Sleep problems, such as insomnia

* Withdrawal from people and situations

* Loss of interest in life

* Increased anxiety and watchfulness

* Nervousness

* Being easily frightened or startled

* Feelings of helplessness or hopelessness

* Irritability

* Aggression and anger

* Severe depression, or deadening of emotions

* Loss of full range of emotions

* Problems with concentration

* Problems with learning new skills

* Memory problems

* Feeling like they have no future

* Problems with close relationships

* Loss of appetite

* Unexplained skin rashes, headaches, stomach upsets and other complaints that don’t seem to have a physical cause

* Thoughts of suicide

Article Information

Important Take-Aways:

* The complete breaking of the “Just World Hypothesis” which is the unconscious belief that everyone naturally holds saying “I am safe in this world as long as I do good.”

* Hyper-paranoia resulting from the Just World breaking.

* Hyper-vigilance in PTSD, being extremely paranoid and always in fear.

* Intrusions in PTSD, consistently experiencing traumatic event(s) over and over again through nightmares, flashbacks, and hallucinations.

* Arousal in PTSD, having hypersensitive behavior and moods.

* The arousal point also mentions a loss of patience, recognizing even harmless things as dangerous, a constant feeling of being in danger, a shorter emotional fuse, and being generally upset all the time.

* Another thing not in the quoted section is a new feeling of helplessness. People who have been tortured had all control taken away from them and were left at the mercy of their torturer. This has left a long lasting impression of what “true helplessness” feels like.

Article:

“Psychologists sometimes talk about something called the Just World Hypothesis, which is a sort of core belief that most people have that goes something like, "I am safe in the world so long as I do good. Events in the world operate in a lawful and non-chaotic manner, and if I am a good person in the world, I can expect that the world will treat me fairly".

When a trauma comes along (any trauma will do) you have a situation where your Just World Hypothesis is suddenly contradicted by an overpowering event that says, "YOU ARE NOT SAFE. YOU ARE NOT IN CONTROL". When this happens, the Just World beliefs breaks, and what is left behind is a very nervous, very frantic, very frightened person.

Any random car accident can become cause for the Just World to break, but most of the time, after a period of shock and fear, many people climb back on the horse, so to speak, and start driving again. The Just World breaks but then reassembles itself resiliently. This reassembly is not a given, however. One way to describe what occurs in PTSD (when the situation becomes clinically relevant) is to say that in such cases, the Just World breaks and then remains broken.

I've written about PTSD before, so I won't go into it at length here. Suffice to say, classical PTSD has three clusters of symptoms: hyper-vigilance, intrusions, and arousal.

First, when you have PTSD you get hyper-vigilant for threats. Since the world has become radically unsafe, you start acting in ways that might help preserve your safety like: avoiding people; staying way from open windows; hitting the deck every time you hear a helicopter. At least these are ways that some Vietnam veterans did it. Other people think you are crazy, but, heck, you are crazy from the perspective of other people when you have PTSD. Their Just Worlds are still intact while yours has broken into bits. You see threats as real that they disregard as implausible. You know that a car accident can happen at any moment; that you could be tortured (or witness the results of torture) again. Others may know that these things are possibilities too, but they only know them intellectually, so they don't really know what they are talking about.

Second, people with PTSD suffer from intrusions. Memories of traumatic events come to them unbidden, and at the worst times. Nightmares, waking nightmares, even hallucinations in the more severe cases, each recreating the trauma in unwanted detail. If your trauma is a car accident, you replay the car accident. If your trauma is torture, you replay the torture. Think about having to live like that; having to replay a capricious and excruciatingly painful episode in your life, one where you lose everything, again and again.

Thirdly, PTSD involves arousal. Your whole body becomes hypersensitive and jumpy compared to how you used to be. Your baseline arousal rate elevates. Your threshold for perceiving danger lowers to the point where you experience false alarms that you are in danger all the time. Your emotional fuse gets shorter too. You lose a good deal of the patience you used to have. You are upset all the time.

A good number of people who are tortured for any length of time, or in any depth will go on to develop PTSD. No way around it. Torture is an effective method for creating disabling and more or less permanent emotional illness.”

((I’m working on finding this artical again. I’ll link it when that happens. Thanks for reading!))

#dejihuam #whump #whump advice #fanfic advice #writing advice #reserch #ptsd #torture #post tramatic stress disorder #fic ref #i think #possible fanfiction idea?#whump ideas #ptsd writing advice #tag abuse

40 notes · View notes

purplesunrisefanfic · 4 years

Text

Masterlist, Info & Recommendations

Talk to me here & Find me on AO3 here.

About

I’m Persephone. I’m 29, bi, and British.

I write The Last of Us fanfics, including a lot of BDSM and kink orientated fics.

I am autistic, have ADHD and am a bit of a genderfuck (they/them/theirs).

I often use the term AutDHD (and variations thereof). I made this up on a whim one day to refer to having both ADHD and autism.

Use #about to find out more about me.

I take limited requests, please read the the rules below before requesting. (Clarifying questions welcome!)

This blog contains explicit and sexually explicit (written) content throughout and contains kinks that may be triggering or offensive. Proceed with caution.

I will warn for literally any trigger if requested - no questions asked. Anon is on so please do reach out if it might help you 💛

My Fics

All my fics (except HCs et cetera) are posted on AO3 under my handle PurpleSunrise.

Note that the AO3 versions tend to be better quality as I redraft/correct my Tumblr requests before uploading. This means there may be a delay in crossposting from Tumblr.

TLOU Femslash Week 2020

Read all 7 fics on AO3 here.

🌊 Day 1 “Making Amends”: Abby/Ellie post-cannon enemies->lovers (Cali Soul Part 1, AO3)

🧿 Day 2 “Scars”: Forbidden love Scar/WLF poem with a reference to Dina/Ellie (Tumblr)

🌊 👩‍👩‍👦 Day 3 “Good Son Fluff”: Abby/Ellie try to figure out post-apocalyptic transistion options as they co-parent Lev. (Cali Soul Part 4, AO3)

💖♾🔫 Day 4 “Modern AU”: Everyone lives AU. Poly!Ellie Dina/Ellie and Ellie/Riley, focused on Ellie/Riley. Very meta with something for everyone. (AO3)

🧿 Day 5 “Apocalypse Wedding”: Dina/Ellie angst with a happy ending. (AO3)

🔫 Day 6 “Hunting Together” Ellie/Riley fluff (Tumblr)

🌊 Day 7 “Rest”: Abby/Ellie kinky date fluff (Tumblr)

My fics on Tumblr:

🌊 Abby/Ellie (alternate ending)

🌊 Abby/Ellie (angst to smut)

💪 Daddy! Abby/GN! reader (smut)

💪 Abby/GN! reader (fluff)

🤜🏻🤛🏼 Ellie & Jesse (banter)

🧿 Dina/Ellie drabble

🌊 Abby/Ellie HCs Part 1

🌊 Abby/Ellie HCs Part 2

🩺 sub!Abby/Dom!Nora HCs

💪 Abby Sexual Fantasies (Part 1?)

⚔️ Assassin’s Creed: “Stay” F!Evior/GN!reader (romance)

⚔️ Assassin’s Creed: “Just Relax” F!Eivor/GN!reader (hurt/comfort, sequel of “Stay”)

My Fics on AO3:

🎆🌅 My AO3 handle is PurpleSunrise.

🧿 Dear: I’m currently writing a multi-chapter letter/note based epilogue for Part 2 called “Dear.” It’s a long-game Dina/Ellie reconciliation fic focused on recovery and earning forgiveness.

🌊 👩‍👩‍👦 California Soul: A post cannon Abby/Ellie enemies->lovers series. Mixture of angst, hurt/comfort, fluff and smut. Direct link to Part 1 here.

🧿 Strength: My first fic was some Dina/Ellie BDSM times.

🎸 Aftermath: A part 1 Ellie & Joel hurt/comfort ficlet.

Requests:

I take requests for:

Kinky smut or angsty kinky smut: 🧿 Dina/Ellie, 🌊 Abby/Ellie, or 💪 Abby/reader.

Fluff: 🔫 Riley/Ellie, 🦈 Abby & Lev, 🏹 Ellie & Lev, 👩‍👩‍👦 Abby/Ellie & Lev, or 🎸 Ellie & Joel.

Headcannons/similar: AMA about 🌊 Abby/Ellie or 🩺 Abby/Nora or Abby, Ellie, Dina or Nora individually bc I love thinking about them!

Abby/reader requests are limited: I basically started to take them on as a ⛓ kinky referral service 😅 sometimes when @kittycat-beans gets requests outside of what she’ll write. Please request Abby/reader elsewhere first (see recommendations below) unless either:

You are sure what you want is gonna be too obscurely kinky for other writers or

You’re wanting a Gender Neutral (GN) reader fic and/or are trans/enby/intersex/et cetera and are more comfortable requesting from me for that reason.

Things I don’t do:

Choking (overly normalised in so many fics when it’s actually hella dangerous irl, and I’m just bored of it)

Vanilla sex (I just don’t find it interesting to wanna write about)

Threesomes or group sex (Too many limbs and other body parts to keep track of)

Assume people are cis, assume people have particular body parts or combos thereof, assume people are not intersex or assume people are a given gender. If you want Abby/reader smut that explicitly refers to the body parts or genitals you have, you gotta tell me what those are. Ditto with gendered language or other language you don’t like. I can keep request details private if you let me know in your ask you don’t want it to be published. You can DM me requests to avoid the ask box limits if you’re comfortable doing so or dw about sending me a ton of asks to stay anon. I’ll write whatever body/gender/lack of gender you want, regardless of whether it’s common or not.

Ship hate (And I’m sick to death of people equating fiction about fiction with actual crimes against actual humans. Just DLDR (Don’t Like, Don’t Read), it’s not that fuckin’ hard.

Kink shame. (Fuck people who do this, but in the pejorative sense, not the sexual sense. I don’t know how well I’ll do at something until I try, but I’m open to having a go with basically any kink, even the ones most writers don’t take requests for, so go for it!)

Make fun of anyone (even actual dickheads) for how they write or speak ever. Please feel absolutely free and welcome to talk to me regardless of your level of English.

Mock any honest question whatsoever. Not sure what I mean? Perplexed by my weird British slang? Abbreviation got you like “wtf”? You can always ask. Please do.

Other things I can do:

I am open to beta reading TLOU fics: DM or send an ask and we can discuss this

Answer questions, give advice or offer feedback about writing autistic characters with sex lives, writing AutDHD characters, and/or other atypicalities that I have, DM or send an ask.

My Requests:

Requests I’ve made that were written by other wonderful writers:

Nora’s Office: Abby/Nora smut 🩺

Green-eyed: Ellie/reader smut 💚

You Can’t Keep An Eye On Me 24/7: Abby/reader bondage smut 🔐

Sweet Girl: Abby/reader hair braiding fluff 💆🏼‍♀️

Please Don’t Go: Abby, Ellie & Lev alt ending 💜

Love on the Brain: Abby/Ellie modern AU. 🧠This one wasn’t actually a request but a surprise gift 😍 that awww just all the good feels on many levels.

Other TLOU authors who I love and recommend:

Most of these writers also take requests! Make sure you check them all out and if you like them (spoiler: if you like my fics, you probably will) then please give them some love!

🐈 @kittycat-beans aka Queen Machine of Abby/reader. She has heaps of talent and heaps of fics to read. 🐈

🐇 @pinkchubbiebunnie Excellent Abby/reader author with some glorious longer reads. Writes disabled, autistic & chronically ill characters beautifully and accessibly to all. 🐇

🦸🏼‍♀️ @aka-patsywalker who is writing a unique and gripping post-cannon Dina/Ellie fic that I am loving. 🦸🏼‍♀️

👻 @hopelesslonelyghost Hot, hot, hot Ellie/reader, Dina/reader & Abby/reader stuff! 👻

📖 @f-society-arcade of Abby/librarian reader fame and excellence.📖

🧷 @punkrockmads Rightly famed for writing excellent Abby/reader modern AUs 🧷

😈 @lifeisfullofdirtysins Fellow Jesse fan who writes a huge range of glorious fluff, angst and smut for all our TLOU faves. 😈

👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩 @swatlesbian is currently working on some very exciting Abby/Ellie stuff, so watch this space! 👩‍❤️‍💋‍👩

There are probably more to add

My Tags

I journal/ramble about writing sometimes, check #journalling

You can learn more about me from random asks and other things, check #about

I use the tag #help for helpful things

I RB a lot prompts, check #writing prompts

I also RB many ask games, check #ask games

I use the tag #writing for RBs of useful stuff for writers

Main tags I use for relevant original and RBed content: #Abby Anderson #Dina #Ellie Williams #Nora Harris #Joel Miller #Riley Abel #tlou Jesse #Abby/Ellie #Dina x Ellie #Ellie x Riley #Abby x Nora

(I know there is a lack of system or logic to these tags but I’m not changing them all now)

61 notes · View notes

sensitivityreaders · 4 years

Text

sensitivity reader

name: emily

pronouns: they/them

age: 18+

reads for: queer, gay, lesbian, non-binary, genderfluid, mentally ill (depression, anxiety, adhd, past suicidal ideation), afab, kinky, poly/non-monogamous, reformed jew (white), fat (forced medical treatment for obesity at a young age), trauma survivor (social ostracism, gaslighting by peers and authority figures, forced into hostile environments/situations/interactions, and more), atypical familial structure/dynamics, raised by found family, was bullied, caretaker for a chronically ill family member

sensitivity reading:

general questions and discussion: yes in-depth discussion of plots and characters: yes partial read (relevant sections): yes full read: yes

willing to read: original work, fanfiction (fandoms available on request), erotica/nsfw/explicit scenes

unwilling to read: available on request

rates: reader: $50/5,000 words; consult: $30/hour. rates may be negotiable and are subject to additional charges depending on subject matter and depth of analysis

contact: [email protected]

additional notes: i'm a writer, specifically a playwright and a musical theater lyricist. i have a degree in theater and have studied theatrical writing extensively. i have also written and consulted on fanfiction in the past

#sensitivity reader #genderqueer #gay #lesbian #nonbinary #genderfluid #depression #anxiety #adhd and add #polyamory #jewish #fat #bullying and social trauma #chronic illness

6 notes · View notes

script-a-world · 5 years

Note

What are your five rules to new authors about world building? I struggle with this, as a minimalist author. And I would love suggestions on how to build a world in as few words as possible, while the description is still efficient and powerful.

Constablewrites:

Teach us about the world through the characters interacting with it. If your characters never interact with it, is it really relevant to your story?

Culture and society all ultimately derives from people--what they know about the world around them, how they survive in their particular environment, how they ensure the survival of future generations, and so on.

Conflict and tension come from limitations. Infinite and/or ill-defined power kills a reader’s emotional investment.

Don’t answer a question we haven’t asked. Context first, then explanation only if necessary.

Your reader will comprehend your world based on what they know of ours.

Personally, I think minimalism can be a good thing! New authors tend to err on the side of waaaaaay too much world building and explanation thereof. The best way to figure out the balance is to read closely. If you’re reading something that makes you feel really present in the scene, pay close attention to how they do that: the details the author chooses, the things they merely suggest or infer, the senses being evoked, and so on. And remember that contemporary literature has to world build just as much as genre stuff does; I’ve spent just as much time on a ranch as I have on Mars, so while I might be bringing more knowledge/assumptions to the table I’m still relying on the writer to make the world come alive.

Brainstormed:

Do you enjoy what you’re making? If not, let the idea lie fallow to be recycled, and ask yourself what would make you enjoy the worldbuilding again. Even if what you’re doing will never show up in your story, it’s still worldbuilding and therefore great. Just prioritize plot-relevant details, and make sure to have fun.

How different would the plot and/or characters be if this detail was changed? This question allows you to figure out the really vital parts of your world and its natural consequences in your story. The details that don’t affect much of your plot/characters are still good, as they add depth, but okay to parse down for a more minimalist perspective.

How far am I willing to ask my readers to suspend their disbelief? Can be asked of specific parts of your world, like magic systems or physics or geographical oddities, or of your setting in general.

Is this self evident? That is, does this part of your worldbuilding become foundational to the plot and/or setting in such a way that the reader understands and extrapolates without ever requiring the dreaded infodump? Not every detail has to be self evident, and in fact I don’t think every detail should be. There’s plenty of things about the real world that I would love to absorb infodumps about, but the way the sun in the sky affects my day to day life requires no context.

Breadth vs. depth, which is more a function of your plot and cast than setting. If your plot follows your characters wandering through a great deal of varying places/cultures/times/etc or a very diverse cast of different races/beliefs/jobs/etc, you’ll need a lot of distinct and interconnected settings with just enough detail to function and stick out as unique in the reader’s mind. Buckling down on a single world/culture/nation/etc to flesh out its complexities and variants will get far deeper into the why’s and how’s of your plot and/or characters, just be careful not to turn it into an encyclopedia instead of a story. (of course, you could do like me and create a lot of breadth and then murder yourself by trying to achieve depth with all of it)

Saphira:

Worldbuilding itself, and setting up the world, comes before the writing in my book. I find that chronic descriptors fall into two categories:

Those who know their world so well that they want to tell EVERYTHING. These I affectionately call the Gushers.

Those who are discovering their world as they write. The world is a mystery to them until the written word tells the writer where they are. These I affectionately call the Explorers.

I suspect you are concerned about being the former. In my gut, however, I suspect you may be the latter. Now there are different rules for each method.

FOR GUSHERS: Use Constablewrite's rules. Those rules underline what's important.

Worried you're still overboard? Count your paragraphs. How many has it been since something happened?

FOR EXPLORERS: Write as normal. Then go over it and look for the things Brainstorm mentions! Highlight them, or copy the stuff on another document.

When you get to rewriting your work, look at your notes and see what you feel is important! You've already explored, so now you can filter.

Worldbuilding in the scale that we know it is relatively new to novel-writing. (Thanks to Sci-Fi and Fantasy authors in the 1950's? Ish? Research it. Cool stuff.) That being said we're already getting really good at it. We've seen the wild phenomenon of cultural diving that Lord of the Rings, Star Trek and Harry Potter have had, and we want to give our readers the same experience!

Though I will note, what draws a reader into the world is the intrigue of the questions they can ask! If we can give our readers just enough information about the world to ask the coolest, deepest questions? We have succeeded.

Tex: I'm not a big fan of generalized advice, especially in regards to "new"... anything. I'm not aware of either your flaws or your strengths, though your use of "minimalist author" intrigues me - what do you consider minimalism? Is it descriptions, is it settings, is it dialogue? Is it something else?

I don't know whether this minimalism is the result of developing your writing voice or the result of underdevelopment in various writing skills, so I hesitate to give any concrete answers. In that respect, I would like to recommend @scriptstructure for the finer points of writing descriptions.

The others look to have covered about everything on this topic, but I would like to reiterate the idea that worldbuilding for the purpose of exposition is heavily dependent upon the plot. Whatever the focus of the plot is, and to some degree that of the characters, is the focus of your worldbuilding.

What's important to your story? Can you remove an element and still make sense? Those are consistently my two biggest guides when worldbuilding because everything outside the immediate needs of the plot are usually extraneous.

Feral: I don’t have rules so much as questions to provide some guidance for new writers getting into worldbuilding.

What quirk of character or plot stands out as being from a society different from my own, and what society would produce this? For a sense of verisimilitude in fantasy and sci-fi, it’s important that the characters not be reproductions of who you would expect to meet in the author’s own society especially when that society does not reflect the author’s own. Dragons, a post-singularity Earth, and a hundred other things that cast the story in a specific genre would create very distinct pressures that would lend themselves to different worldviews, economies, traditions, etc.

Would a particular feature of the world make my character or the plot more interesting? Would it create more problems than it would solve? I always advise against creating a feature of the world that solves your characters’ problems. Features of the world should either a) provide a lovely flavor or b) create obstacles for your characters to overcome or c) both. New writers, particularly those who don’t want too much superfluous flavor might look at Premise Brainstorming, or “In a World Where…” brainstorming to create world ideas that tie directly to the character and/or plot.

Am I avoiding describing something because it is not in my style or doesn’t fit the narrator’s voice? Or am I avoiding describing something because I can’t picture it in my mind or lack the confidence to execute it? This is me all the time. 2 decades of writing, and my first couple drafts are always a little lean on world details because I’m still wrapping my mind around what things really look like and how to take the image in my brain and translate it to the page. It’s ok to take your time getting the world rendered out; that’s what multiple drafts are for.

How have writers I admire and whose writing style matches what I want for myself handled the question of worldbuilding? If you’re not familiar with The City and the City by China Mieville, I strongly recommend checking it out. When I think of so-called minimalist world building, that is what I think of.

Do I know enough about my world to know what is important and what is not important to include? I recommend the Iceberg Principle for newer writers/builders: 90% of the world isn’t gonna make it into the story. So, that 10% better be enough and relevant.

#pylons #world building #rules #kt-anansi

151 notes · View notes

markcampbells · 5 years

Note

Are there genres you don’t like to read but you’ll try anyway? Were you ever pleasantly surprised by any of these exceptions?

Young adult. Look, I seriously have nothing against young adult lit. I don’t think it’s like a sign of an intellectual downgrade in our society as many adults do and I don’t judge people who like it. But I am slightly tired of the sheer prevalence of it--the online book world is almost entirely young adult-oriented, for instance. It isn’t that I hate YA lit; I just would prefer to be reading about adult characters in adult situations (not, as I was saying about OTH, teen characters in adult situations). On this note, new adult as a genre sounded perfect, except that a lot of the plot summaries SOUND like fine, true to life scenarios and then it’s like KENDRA HAS TO AUCTION OFF HER VIRGINITY TO A BILLIONAIRE and yeah. My exceptions would be if there was more college-focused YA (those characters are more within the age range I want to read about) and I don’t mind reading queer YA or YA about social issues that don’t get covered much. I just prefer to read about older characters if given the choice. (Also the history of the genre ITSELF is really interesting. Reading Paperback Crush has given me many examples of the sorts of titles I would read, that were groundbreaking when published [and may still be now], and that cover topics uncommonly broached in YA.)

Thriller. Technically I should count mystery under this but it isn’t that I don’t like to read mystery. Thriller, though... let’s say, recently I started The Stranger by Harlan Coben, because I’m interested in watching the Netflix adaptation. He’s one of the favorite authors of an acquaintance and let’s just say, if this is the usual quality of his writing I truly don’t see why. It’s a genre I can enjoy, but it needs to be written well for me to be really into it. When I was younger I absolutely loved Kay Hooper’s Bishop/Special Crimes Unit series and those are a good example of what I like.

Science fiction. Again, I don’t hate science fiction. But when the science part is too overwhelming or too difficult for me to parse through I don’t like it. The big exception to this that I’m still surprised by: the Vorkosigan Saga. I had heard the name around for years because Carrie Vaughn is a big fan, but just knowing it was sci-fi I wasn’t super keen on it. However, Courtney Milan, on her episode of the Wicked Wallflowers podcast, talked about reading A Civil Campaign as it was initially posted online and how it was like a sci-fi Jane Austen novel, and I looked more into it and was stunned. So I read the book prior to that one, Komarr, which sets up the story ACC is continuing, and I fucking loved it. In the dedication Bujold thanks Jane Austen, Charlotte Bronte, Dorothy L. Sayers, and Georgette Heyer, and the reason the book was so appealing to me was because the sci-fi elements are there, but it’s a relationship story of the sort those women would write. Ekaterin is waking up to the reality of her relationship with a controlling partner with the help of Miles, who, by the way, is pretty excellent disability and chronic illness representation, to boot. I was kicking myself the whole time I read Komarr for always being turned away by the genre and not learning sooner it’s literally just Austen/Heyer in space. I haven’t yet had the time to read further in the series but I’m really looking forward to it.

Pulitzer Prize winners. Not something I’m against on principle; I want to read more of the ones for Drama. But when it comes to fiction I usually associate Pulitzer Prize winning fiction as really dry and capital-L literary and nothing relevant to my life (because it’s usually by old white men). Last year I read both The Goldfinch and Less and loved both. The Goldfinch isn’t for everyone. It is long, Theo isn’t all that sympathetic, and it took a lot of pushing through for me to get to the end. But when you spend that much time in a world you can really come to be interested in it, and I still find myself thinking about the characters and relationships. I’d even like to read it again. And Less is a book I want everyone to read. It is very much about an older gay man and it’s absolutely informed by his being gay, and older, but it also deals with so many nuances of privilege, aging and death, intergenerational relationships, and love, and I found it really moving in addition to just being plain funny.

#ask box #malionnes #evacampbells #about me #bibliophile problems

5 notes · View notes

compo67 · 5 years

Photo

Hi there!

Have you read They Met at the Photo Op Verse?

It’s got older!celebrity Jensen and twink!small town Jared, navigating their relationship and everything that comes with it. Nathan Fillion appeared in it once and refuses to leave.

If you follow this verse, I wanted to take a moment to let y’all know that I have a Patreon. There are many tiers to pick from, and Patrons often get to see these title cards/inspiration cards/mood boards before I post them to Tumblr and AO3.

With the wedding coming up, I’m posting questions, scenarios, polls, mood boards etc. all about their wedding onto Patreon. If you’d like to be more involved in the fic and weigh in on things, and support me as an author, this is a great way to do that.

Many of your fandom authors work really hard at producing new content. We are all here to share our imaginations. I’m thrilled that I’ve been doing this since 2013 with a tremendous amount of support from fandom. If the average book has 90,000 words, and I’ve written 1.8 million words for the SPN/J2 Fandom, then I’ve written about 20 books.

Patrons help me afford utilities, groceries, treatments, parking at my transplant hospital, car repairs, and other costs related to being a chronically ill person.

It takes work, time, and a tremendous amount of behind the scenes effort to write a novel-length fic. Patrons get to see some of that work and labor. Folks at different tiers have access to unpublished fic and can see how something develops from start to finish. Others get to request what I write next as bonus fic or what updates next.

Sharing--likes and reblogs--also helps a tremendous amount. Please continue to help your fandom authors by boosting them on social media platforms. Recommend specific works. Leave comments. Kudos. Likes.

I would absolutely love it if you, reader, visit my Patreon page. If you become a Patron--hooray! If you share the page/my work--hooray!

I’m planning this wedding, hashing out details, doing preliminary research, brainstorming, consuming relevant media/music to get in the right space... and I’m also unable to work full-time due to multiple illnesses and conditions. Being sick and disabled is an expense no one tells you about until you’re already in it. I’m doing my best, and writing keeps me grounded.

I want to keep writing. I will keep writing. I may not produce as much as often in comparison to 3 years ago, but my writing has improved and the quality of it is incredibly noticeable. I’m super grateful.

So--please visit my Patreon Page: Cal Owens is Creating Fantastic Fan Fiction and see if you’d like to support me either by becoming a Patron or sharing the link. <3

Thank you so much.

-Cal

#compo67 #j2 #j2 au #spn rps #jared/jensen #supernatural fic #fandom author #patreon #authorial rambles

42 notes · View notes

neriad13 · 5 years

Text

Best of the Best Media Consumed 2019!

This year I had a whole lot of focus on nonfiction, film and comics. Resolution for next year: read more fiction. Seriously, I read over three times more nonfiction than fiction this year. I read a little over one novel a month. But I really do love picking up a book on something I know nothing about and coming away knowing more than something. X-P

Anyway! The list!

Books - Fiction

Out of the 17 works of fiction I read this year, the best of the best is...

The Snow Queen, by Joan Vinge

The Snow Queen was one of my absolute favorite fairy tales as a child. The 2002 film adaptation of it was one of the things I watched endlessly.

It was SO MUCH FUN picking apart this sci-fi retelling and discovering which characters are meant to represent the ones from the original story (of particular interest: the character representing the reindeer is human in this...and he has a one night stand with the character representing Gerta. Yes, I’m still cracking up about this. Yes, it actually was a pretty well written scene).

But the absolute best part of it was the masterful characterization. Every single character has ulterior motives and often heartbreaking reasons for why they are the way they are - especially including the Snow Queen herself, whose final scene is horrifying, tragic and beautiful.

I always like me some solid villain characterization.

Runner Up:

Fairy Tales: Traditional Stories Retold for Gay Men

I am not a gay man...but this very much spoke to me. It was at turns heartwarming and hilarious and the turns these fairy tales took felt so natural, like they’d been told that way all along.

There are also many allusions to AIDS in the stories - sometimes as something a character is directly dealing with whether in himself, or a loved one and sometimes under the guise of a metaphor for inevitability. These ones were my favorites (aside from The Frog Prince, which was turned into a metaphor for accepting the process of aging with grace).

Books - Nonfiction

Oh boy. There’s...definitely going to be more than one here. Of the 65 works of nonfiction I read this year, my favorites were...

Smoke Gets in Your Eyes & Other Lessons From the Crematory

A memoir about the author’s time spent working as a crematory operator and her entry into the funeral business. This book was absolutely hilarious (it contains a story about the author getting absolutely soaked with corpse fat that wouldn’t stop flowing straight out of the incinerator), tragic (a 12 year old girl is cremated and her ashes are mailed back to her parents as part of a cremation mail-in program) and extremely poignant (the author talks openly about the time she was contemplating suicide).

I love Caitlin’s youtube channel and I loved this book even more.

My Age of Anxiety

Partially the memoir of a man who has battled his extreme anxiety his entire life, a historical study of famous figures who have also endured it and a scientific look into why it exists at all.

Ultimately, it offers no answers. As of the writing of the book, the author has found no treatment that helps him for longer than a few months. But what he has found over the course of his research is that he is not alone - that anxiety has historically been a factor in scientific breakthroughs and artistic accomplishments. And that perhaps most importantly, that anxiety has been a key part of human evolution from the start, which served a vital role in the survival of the species.

Mental illness or evolutionary adaptation? Is there even a line between them?

Cassell’s Encyclopedia of Queer Myth, Symbol and Spirit

This is the only book, period, devoted to queer mythology, that I have ever been able to find. But the good news is that it’s fairly extensive (though the authors themselves admit that they had trouble finding as much information about non-western mythology as they did for western mythology), is chock full of references and is extremely thorough in the information it presents.

I’ll admit that it was a slog to get through at times, but what it’s provided has been invaluable to my conception of history and my own place in it.

Also, I can now say beyond a shadow of a doubt that almost every culture on earth has at some point in their history had a tradition of transgender shamans.

Hope After Faith

This is the memoir of a charismatic Pentecostal pastor turned atheist. It follows him from teenagerhood and the beginnings of his dream to be a preacher to a little bit after his deconversion decades later.

The eventual crumbling of his faith was something that spoke to me on a deep level. The scene that I still think about months later is the one in which he finally gives up his belief in the afterlife and accepts the finality of death by saying goodbye to everyone he ever loved who has died with the words “I love you, but I’m never going to see you again.”

I was not a huge fan of the writing style at first, but this one won me over totally and completely. It touched me immensely at the time when I needed it most.

Comics - Fiction

I read 52 fictional comics this year and 46 nonfiction. I absolutely raided my library’s graphic novel section for months. It was a good time.

Beautiful Darkness

A French graphic novel wherein tiny people survive and feud over the corpse of the child they came from. It’s...hard to explain. Kind of a fairy tale Lord of the Flies, but more subtly horrifying. It’s a story about decay and collapse - of society, of the physical form, of the dreams of a child. It has no single interpretation and different people may take something very different from it. The most inventive horror story I read this year.

My Brother’s Husband

A story about microaggressions and how their buildup over time can drive a wedge between people without them even noticing. I cried. Go read it.

Mis(h)adra

A semi autobiographical account of a college student learning how to live with his epilepsy. I also cried over this one.

The art is stunning, the metaphors are amazing (the main character’s epilepsy is visually portrayed as a set of ghostly knives that follow him around) and the ending is extremely affecting if you’ve ever dealt with any kind of chronic illness.

Demon Slayer: Kimetsu no Yaiba

The absolute most fun I had reading a comic this year. Gets extremely dark and incredibly sad but never feels overwhelmingly heavy, thanks to its great sense of humor.

Edward Scissorhands: Parts Unknown + Whole Again

A series of adventures set decades after the movie, after Kim’s death, in a time when her granddaughter begins wondering if the stories about the castle on the hill are true.

It deals with such issues as the difficulties Kim had with her daughter growing up, when all she would do is tell stories about Edward rather than give her the emotional support she needed, whether removing the thing that both makes you unique and brings pain is worth it and how to stop angry villagers from burning down your house (again).

Also, seeing Edward be surrounded by a group of friends who care about him was extremely healing.

Comics - Nonfiction

My Solo Exchange Diary vol 1-2

A series of updates about the author’s continuing battle with mental illness and about how recovery is anything but a straight line.

Can’t We Talk About Something More Pleasant?

Finally, some light reading!

It’s a memoir about the decline and death of the author’s aging parents.

I found it...extremely comforting. Extreme old age, whether in one’s self or in one’s loved ones, is a scary and often obscured prospect, despite being a near-universal human experience. This book took the mystery out of aging and the fear out of taking care of aging parents. I’ve seen it done now. I’m more ready to do it myself.

The Best We Could Do

A memoir of the author’s family’s flight from Vietnam and their immigration to America, through the lens of the birth of the author’s first child. About how being a refugee changes a person in small, often unexpected ways, how trauma leaves its mark on families - and how, knowing all this, one can still keep living and raising the next generation.

Film - Fiction

I caught up on a lot of classics I’d not seen before and really got into Jidaigeki this year. Me putting only four of them on the list is a show of restraint. Of the 64 films I watched this year...

The Fall of the House of Usher

Impeccable costume and psychedelic set design. The unanswered question that bounces throughout the entire movie: is it the curse or is it the fault of human belief in the curse?

Patch your walls, dude.

A Monster With a Thousand Heads

A Mexican thriller about a woman whose husband is denied cancer treatment for seemingly no reason. The doctor gives her the runaround. No one can answer her questions. No one listens to her.

So, naturally, she and her teenage son spend a night kidnapping and holding at gunpoint every person she needs to get her husband’s cancer treatment approved. Wild and intense and timely.

Dr. Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb

I watched a couple of Kubrick movies I hadn’t seen before and of them...I died laughing at this one. The tight plotting! The inevitable buildup to disaster over something so insanely stupid!

I did not live during the Cold War, but damn do I feel for the inherent ridiculousness of it now.

Seven Samurai

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAFGFTRTRNHUKIJUHNJNHHHHHHHHHHHHYHYHYHYHYHYHYHYHYXCVVGGERDSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!

...this movie is insanely good. I watched Citizen Kane this year. This movie’s better.

It has a plot which can be described in its totality, in a single sentence - a group of samurai are hired to defend a village from bandits - but what they do with that premise is so much more than that.

This movie is three hours long. It did not lag once.

Hara Kiri

As the Tokugawas secure their grip on all of Japan, war ceases. Great houses are dissolved and their retainers, cast into the streets. The relevance of the samurai is ending and the cities are awash in starving ronin.

Once, one of these starving ronin approached a great house, asking if he might be able to end his life honorably, in front of witnesses there. So impressed was the lord with this ronin’s resolve, that he instead hired him on as one of his retainers.

Hearing this story, other ronin, having no intention of actually offing themselves, tried the same trick in the hopes of securing a job, or at the very least, a little something to eat.

It became a common scam which, in the end, fooled no one. Most houses gave the ronin a handful of cash and sent them on their way.

But one house, seeking to preserve their warlike spirit in these peaceful times, chooses to treat one beggar ronin very differently.

This is the story of vengeance taken for that death.

Yojimbo

A ronin enters a town that is being torn apart by gang warfare and decides to play both sides in order to end the conflict. It contains such comedic gems as:

- the ronin suddenly deciding not to take part in a street battle, leaving both sides evenly matched and extremely nervous about fighting each other, while he watches it all from the top of a watchtower, laughing his ass off

- the ronin is critically injured and being smuggled out of town in a coffin. A fight breaks out while this is happening and scares away one of the people carrying the coffin. A less intelligent goon of the gang he just escaped from is cheerfully recruited to carry the coffin the rest of the way

- standing up in the coffin, declaring that he’s fine and immediately fainting

Also, you should totally bring a knife to a gun fight.

Ran

A jidaigeki reimagining of King Lear.

A visually astounding, sweeping epic with amazing acting and a complex interplay of conflicting passions which might just be more bleak than the original play.

The scene in which the main character goes mad and is cast out into the wilderness is especially haunting.

Jojo Rabbit

I don’t think I’ve EVER experienced such violent mood whiplash in a movie before. One moment you’re crying-laughing from a joke that hit with absolute perfection and the next you’re...actually crying. In the same scene. Within thirty seconds. Multiple times. It is the oddest feeling to be so elated by the best joke in the entire movie while every character we’ve come to know across the course of the movie is in the process of dying violently. It’s not a feeling everyone’s going to like, but for me it was completely new and fantastic.

The best part of the movie is the main character’s relationship with Imaginary Friend Hitler. He’s wildly funny and relentlessly charming. I got excited every time he appeared in a scene and was, oddest of all, actually comforted by his presence.

He was all of these things until, in the most terrifying scene in the movie, he was not.

This movie shows you the mechanisms through which fascism becomes an appealing idea for a lonely child by putting the audience through a version of the same process. It’s so clever, so funny and so sad.

What do you do when your world is destroyed by absurdity and there is nothing left for you to return to?

You dance in the streets.

TV Series

Good Omens

Wildly hilarious comedy, fantastic costume design, multiple androgynous characters for which NO ONE bats an eye and honestly?? the best queer love story I’ve ever seen in television or film.

The Dark Crystal: Age of Resistance

I am not sure if I have ever seen a production with so much love poured into it. The dozens of painstakingly crafted sets and characters, the sheer level of artistry on display - the next thing I saw was always more amazing than the thing I’d seen before it and the amazingness just kept coming with no end in sight throughout the entirety of the show.

And the story itself! The way it deepened and played with the lore of the original movie in the most perfect and unexpected ways! It felt like I was watching the most fantastic and labor intensive piece of fanfiction ever conceived, that was written by a person with a deep passion for and knowledge of the source material.

Speaking of fantastic throwbacks...

Dororo

I’ve said a lot about this one already. While it ultimately fell kind of flat, what it did get right was phenomenal. The motherfucking FIGHT SCENES! The love between bros! The fascinating reconception of Hyakkimaru’s powers and its emphasis on a disabled character actually being portrayed as disabled! The journey of good characters going down the path of evil with good intentions!

Mwah!

Primal eps 1-5

Genndy Tartakovsky’s next big project after the completion of Samurai Jack!

It is gory. Like, extremely gory. Do you know how much gore a thing has to have before I consider it ‘extremely gory?’ It’s a lot. Like...really a lot. There’s a thirty second (or possibly longer. time lost all meaning as I watched it) sequence in which the main character punches the intestines out of a horde of hominids in loving, exacting detail. It’s like Genndy’s letting out all the pent-up gore he was forced to keep in check during the years when he was working on Samurai Jack.

But it isn’t just gore. It’s a journey about the main character’s grief over the sudden, horrific, unexpected death of his entire family. A story which is also mirrored by that of the dinosaur he joins forces with. There were parts during it in which I literally felt my heart being torn in two over the travails of these two, as well as wildly funny and completely adorable parts.

The settings, creature design and fight choreography are insanely creative, as is the decision to do it with no dialogue whatsoever.

And that cliffhanger, DAMN!! They’d better get the next five episodes out soon!

Honorable Mention:

Rick and Morty S4 eps 1-5

This one doesn’t entirely make the list proper because the latter two episodes...were rather subpar. But I can’t entirely keep it off the list because the quality of the first three episodes was off the charts. A particular shoutout to ‘The Old Man and the Seat’ and ‘One Crew Over the Crewcoo’s Morty’ - the former, which somehow managed to use toilet humor, of all things, to reach a crushingly tragic conclusion and the latter, which has a twist better than that of some of my favorite horror movies.

Games

Shogun 2

I didn’t do a whole lot of gaming at all this year. But what I did do is have a fantastic time getting into the Total War franchise. Shogun 2 was my entry point and a FANTASTIC game. The ninja animations! The tiny, exacting animations of every single person running around on a sinking ship! The way Realm Divide changes the game into something much more dangerous and the way I learned to dance on the edge of it until I was good and ready!

Plays

Love’s Labours Lost

One of two Shakespeare plays I saw this year, the other being The Tempest - which was also excellent (especially the part where it legit started raining when Ariel summoned the storm in the first scene and then that showing had to be cancelled. The second time was the charm).

Love’s Labours Lost had some excellent comedy and the usual absurd web of misunderstandings you’d expect to find in your standard Shakespeare romcom. But the thing which pushed it over the edge for me was that...it had a sad ending. It goes against the definition of comedy and has a sad ending. Because it was so unexpected, it hit unexpectedly hard and made it that much more memorable.

#jojo rabbit #akira kurosawa #rick and morty #the dark crystal: age of resistance #good omens #primal #a thought #long post

1 note · View note