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frogshunnedshadows · 1 month ago
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Retro Arcade Write-up IV!
Not forgotten – the continuing adventures of a middle-aged American male, in a modern-day retro arcade.
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Hey, they had Burger Time. I like the custom-shaped cabinet sides.
More machines and memories below the jump!
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Night Striker, a cool, pseudo-3D shoot-em-up game loosely similar to Space Harrier, maybe. Thanks to the free play, I managed to beat the game and earn the #1 high score.
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Gauntlet, the extremely cramped 4-player quasi-D&D game.
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They even had a Nintendo "Red Tent" 1-v-1 system, running Dr. Mario.
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Great art of this Sulu-looking horny astronaut on Gottlieb's Count-Down.
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I love a good VFD, and a good DMD. Hilarious that Williams had a 'pinball hotline' and advertised it on their machines.
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Flight 2000 by Stern, (1980?). Not working, but beautiful art.
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Slot for Susan B. Anthony dollar coins on this pinball machine, though I don't think their math adds up : /
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Some very grungy old Sega and JAMMA stickers on the back of something, and an equally grungy Atari steering wheel. God, I love stickers.
And that is the end, my friend.
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tia-amorosa · 5 months ago
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💓
Hands up, everyone who is alone on New Year's Eve! *wave*... if we could skip the fireworks, it would be heavenly here at home (I don't like loud noises). Anyway, let's slide into the new year comfortably snuggled up in a blanket. (It's still a little over three hours away here)... cheers 🍸
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twistedtummies2 · 1 year ago
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ReCount: Top 31 Portrayals of Count Dracula
The day after tomorrow is World Dracula Day. For the occasion, I’m going to do a countdown of my personal five choices for the WORST portrayals of Dracula I’ve personally encountered. However, I’ve always believed in accentuating the positive: there are, in my opinion, more good Dracula portrayals than bad ones. Even if the adaptations and reimaginings themselves aren’t totally up to par, Dracula himself usually is enjoyable to watch, and there are PLENTY of versions to choose from.
With that said, it’s time for a ReCount of one of my largest lists: “Count-Down,” a month-long Event I held in October of 2021, where I ranked my Top 31 Favorite Portrayals of Count Dracula, along with a number of Honorable Mentions. A LOT has changed since I made that list: all across the board of the Top 31, different versions of Dracula have shifted place. Some that were on the list back then are no longer present now, and some that weren’t present then have moved in since. As for those that were there then, and are here now…nearly all of them have shifted positions in the ranks, for one reason or another. Times change and people with them, and revisiting some of these versions has given me new perspective, while renditions I didn’t know about at the time (or, in some cases, didn’t even EXIST at the time) have only added to the challenge of choosing.
With that in mind, it took a while to figure out where various takes on the Count really placed for me, overall, but I THINK the results here are - at least for the time being - the most honest and fair judgments I can give. With that in mind, allow me to present ReCount: My Top 31 Favorite Draculas (plus some Honorable Mentions).
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HONORABLE MENTIONS (Left to Right, Top to Bottom)
Adam Sandler & Brian Hull, from “Hotel Transylvania.”
Sandler famously voiced Dracula for the first three films in this animated franchise. Impressionist Brian Hull took over the role in the fourth feature. I know these cartoon comedies are really popular, and I have nothing in particular AGAINST them, but I’ve weirdly never really been THAT into them.
Alan Swift, from Mad Monster Party.
This Halloweentime production by Rankin/Bass features Swift in the role of SEVERAL famous monsters, as a whole band of Gothic icons join forces to try and steal a secret formula from Dr. Frankenstein, so they can - you guessed it - take over the world. Dracula is the leader of the monster horde, fittingly enough.
The Version from “Anno Dracula.”
I absolutely love this novel series, which blends historical fiction with Gothic Horror, and has many bizarre twists and turns. The premise focuses on an alternate universe where Dracula successfully manages to take over England, turning many of the population into vampires. While his role in the series is important, Dracula HIMSELF very rarely appears, so I didn’t think it was fair to give him a place in the ranks: it’s cool when he shows up, but the books are actually more interesting for other reasons beyond him.
Count Chocula.
Ah, yes, because if draining the blood of the innocent wasn’t evil enough, we now have vampires that give you diabetes. As iconic as this cereal mascot parody of the Count is, he’s not ACTUALLY Dracula, so I didn’t feel he counted…plus there’s just not much to say about him.
James Barbour, from Dracula: The Musical (2011 Studio Recording).
There have been several musical adaptations of Dracula. This one was the work of Frank Wildhorn, and is probably the most popular. None of them are all that great, in my opinion, but this one has some shining moments. Several people have played Dracula in this one, but Barbour’s performance on the 2011 Studio Recording is my favorite.
Kamran Nikhad, from V Rising.
This game only JUST came out, and I haven't played it yet (nor am I entirely certain if I ever will). As a result, I don't really feel comfortable placing its version of Dracula in the Top 31 yet. With that said, based on the lore of the game, the videos I've seen featuring the character, and Nikhad's absolutely bone-chillingly breathtaking vocal work, I see no reason why I can't give this version an Honorable Mention. In this game, Dracula is a tyrannical and highly intelligent vampire warlord, who proves a threat not only to humanity, but even to other monsters. He orchestrates things behind-the-scenes to try and regain his throne, with the player's ultimate goal being to destroy him once and for all.
King, from Kamen Rider Kiva.
This was the first Kamen Rider series I ever saw, and it’s probably my favorite (or, at least, second favorite). A Japanese superhero series inspired by classic Universal Monsters? How can I NOT love it? The main villain of the series is the mysterious King; while he’s never outright referred to as Dracula, that’s clearly who he is analogous to in this universe. Much like Count Chocula, I didn’t feel he actually counted for the main list, but he’s worth an Honorable Mention at least. He is played by Shinya Niiro.
Mark Hamill, from Mina and the Count.
Just like Count Chocula and King, this is another case of a vampire who isn’t TECHNICALLY Dracula, but is clearly a Dracula-inspired figure. There are two characters on the main countdown who are in the same vein, but generally speaking, I wanted to save the main countdown for ACTUAL versions of Dracula. In this series, Hamill plays “Count Vlad,” a vampire who ends up befriending a little mortal girl named Mina Harper. Shenanigans ensue.
Michael McCarthy, from…a completely different “Dracula: The Musical.”
Barbour’s Dracula from earlier was in the musical composed by Frank Wildhorn. McCarthy played Dracula for a PROPOSED stage musical, created by the musical trio of Evans, Orton, and Lynn. The musical had a concept album released, as well as a music video for the “big song” of the show, “Within My World,” wherein McCarthy performed in-character as the Count, costume and all. However, the show never got off the ground. Admittedly, I don’t think the musical was that great on the whole, but it’s still a shame.
Orson Welles, from the Mercury Theater Radio Production.
It’s Orson Welles as Dracula. I think that statement on its own explains why he’s so great. Weirdly enough, while I’ve gained more respect and admiration for this radio version on the whole since 2021, Welles’ Dracula has conversely dropped out of the running. He’s good, I just tend to think of many other Draculas more.
The Phantom Blot, from Disney’s Dracula, Starring Mickey Mouse.
I brought up this very weird reimagining multiple times in past lists, so you all know the basic gist of it by now. Disney has done this concept twice - first as a graphic novel, and later as a children’s storybook - and in both interpretations, the Phantom Blot plays the coveted role of the Count. I love the Blot, in general - one of Disney’s most underrated villains, in my opinion - but I think it’s more for his sake that I like his Dracula, than anything else.
Phil LaMarr, from The Grim Adventures of Billy & Mandy.
All I have to say here is…if you know, you know. XD A lot of people are probably sad I didn’t include this Dracula in the rankings, but trust me, he’s a funny one.
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CHOICES 31 - 26
31. The Count, from Sesame Street.
One of the two “not technically Draculas” I mentioned in the Honorable Mentions. To be honest, I could rank Count Von Count - my favorite Muppet character from Sesame Street - MUCH higher, if I really wanted to, because I really do love him a lot. However, I felt it was too much of a stretch placing him in the upper tiers, simply because while he’s clearly a parody of Dracula, he isn’t ACTUALLY Dracula, but more his own unique character. However, leaving him off the list completely seemed criminal, and I like him too much to just give him an Honorable Mention…so, compromises being what they are, I decided to place him on the countdown, but at the very bottom of the heap. “That’s one! One difficult problem to deal with! Ah-ah-ah!”
30. Gerard Butler, from Dracula 2000.
I’m still not a fan of this movie, and I doubt I ever will be, but I will say I enjoy both Christopher Plummer as Van Helsing and Butler’s Dracula in the film. The movie makes an intriguing (if rather bizarre) change to Dracula’s backstory, revealing that he is actually Judas Iscariot, and his revulsion towards Holy artifacts is due to his past.
29. Hamilton Camp, from Scooby-Doo and the Reluctant Werewolf.
One of the few “Funny Draculas” on this countdown, and a personal childhood favorite of mine. In this animated special, Dracula changes Shaggy into a werewolf and forces him to participate in an annual race between all of the famous monsters. If Shaggy wins, he’ll be turned back to normal, but if he loses, he’ll remain a werewolf - and Dracula’s servant - forever. It’s basically a spooky version of Wacky Races with Dracula as Dick Dastardly.
28. Rudolf Martin, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer.
I know next to nothing about Buffy the Vampire Slayer: I’ve only seen two whole episodes of the show, along with a few assorted, scattered clips. One of the two is “Buffy vs. Dracula.” A lot of people apparently dislike this episode, which depicts Dracula as a sort of self-aware “vampire celebrity” who buys too much into his own hype, but I actually think this was a fun interpretation. Martin would later play the real-life Vlad Dracula - one of the inspirations for the fictional vampire - in the TV movie “Dark Prince: The True Story of Dracula.” I doubt this was a coincidence of casting.
27. Francis Lederer, from Return of Dracula.
This film came out the same year as Hammer’s “Horror of Dracula,” and it’s not hard to see why one is more well-remembered than the other. While much of this film is honestly rather dry and dull, Lederer really delivers as a decidedly creepy, unsettling take on the Prince of Darkness, and gets a pretty great death scene to boot.
26. The Version from “Return of Evil.”
This teen novel is the first of a series of stories where the famous Universal Monsters get “zapped” into the real world to cause havoc. While the book is overall pretty decent, and actually has some legitimately scary moments, I feel that the portrayal of Dracula HIMSELF is a bit…confused. As a result, I no longer rank this version as highly as I once did.
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CHOICES 25 - 21
25. John Carradine, from Various.
Carradine played Dracula in no less than four films, as well as onstage. While his work was always good, the actual movies he appeared in were less than stellar: in “House of Frankenstein” his Dracula is thanklessly killed off before the end of the first act. In “House of Dracula,” he plays a slightly larger role, and is shown as a more sympathetic character - seeking a cure for his bloodlust - but is still destroyed (quite anticlimactically, I should add) around two-thirds of the way through the picture. The comedy film “Nocturna” is just plain bizarre, and the infamously terrible “Billy the Kid vs. Dracula” is widely regarded as one of those classic “so bad it’s good” type of movies. Had he been given better material to work with, Carradine could have ranked much higher.
24. Vlad Garfunkel, from Phantom in the Twilight.
In this anime/manga series, Count Dracula - going by the alias “Vlad Garfunkel” - has reformed and become the leader of a group of monsters, or “Umbra,” who work to protect humanity from more evil creatures - sort of a Gothic Horror/Dark Fantasy version of the X-Men. (And no, in case you’re wondering, I don’t know why the Count would choose a name like “Garfunkel” as his pseudonym.) The franchise is interesting, but unfinished; both the manga and the anime end on cliffhangers and leave a LOT of unanswered questions behind, and this “pretty boy” Dracula is admittedly a little hard to swallow at times. Overall, however, not bad stuff.
23. Javier Botet, from The Last Voyage of the Demeter.
Described as a sort of cross between “Nosferatu” and “Alien,” this horror film focuses on the tragic misadventures of the crew aboard the Demeter - the ship Dracula takes to get from Transylvania to England. Over the course of the movie, Dracula picks off the crew one by one, killing and/or transforming them as he rations them off. While the movie is admittedly flawed, it’s not necessarily bad, and this more monstrous version of Dracula is an intriguingly frightful interpretation.
22. Richard Roxburgh, from Van Helsing.
A ludicrously over-the-top movie with an equally ludicrously over-the-top Dracula: you can’t say the style and the performance don’t match. Roxburgh’s Dracula isn’t well-regarded by many people, but I personally enjoy this version a lot, even if at times he’s unintentionally hilarious in his hamminess.
21. Chris Sarandon, from TMNT (2012).
This Dracula appears as the secondary antagonist of a four-part story arc, wherein the TMNT encounter several of the classic Universal Monsters. If that concept isn’t good enough, the fact Dracula is designed to have the likeness of Bela Lugosi only adds to the enjoyment factor. And if that’s STILL not enough, then the fact his voice actor is Chris Sarandon - Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King, himself! - doing a Lugosi impression should hopefully seal the deal on why he’s so great. If Dracula had been THE main antagonist of this arc, I think he could have ranked even higher.
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CHOICES 20 - 16
20. Nicolas Cage, from Renfield.
Nic Cage has long been a fan of Dracula, and the Count one of his dream roles. You can be darn sure his chance to actually play the King of the Vampires was a treat to watch. In some ways, his performance reminds me of Richard Roxburgh’s, except in this case the humor is entirely planned. At the same time, his Dracula is legitimately menacing and scary. Cage apparently studied various other past performers to help sink into the role, and it works well: you can see little dollops of other Draculas in his work, but it’s still 100% his own take on the character. I honestly feel bad for not ranking him any higher.
19. Zhang Wei-Qiang, from Dracula: Pages From a Virgin’s Diary.
Again, in this combination of surrealist/Expressionist silent film and dance movie, all of the male characters are depicted in a negative light. Dracula himself is no exception, but there is some interesting ambiguity there: in the film, the so-called “heroes” all hate Dracula less because he’s a vampire, and more for petty and repugnant reasons. One hates him because he’s richer than they are, one because he’s more sexually attractive, one because he’s a foreigner, etc. While Dracula is still the villain, the heroes aren’t exactly good people either: they’re prejudiced and perverse, which blurs the line on who the real monster of the story is.
18. The Marvel Version.
I’m specifically talking about the actual comics here, because - as a future list will show - most adaptations of Marvel’s Dracula are…well…not that great. The comic version, however, is actually a pretty interesting character, riding a fine line between villain and anti-hero, as he’s been the protagonist of stories almost as often as the antagonist. Tie this into the fact he’s faced the likes of Dr. Strange, Spider-Man, and Blade (who was actually introduced in Dracula’s title series, “The Tomb of Dracula”), and it’s pretty clear why he’s awesome. 
17. The Version from “Fate.”
In English this take is voiced by Ray Chase; in Japanese he's played by one Ryotaro Okiayu. In the Fate universe, the ties between the real-life Vlad Dracula and the fictional Count are toyed with in a very unique way. In the anime “Fate/Apocrypha,” it’s Vlad III who is summoned to participate in the Holy Grail War, but has the power to physically transform into the legendary vampire. In the game “Fate/Grand Order,” Vlad can be summoned in two different forms: one depicts him as being Count Dracula from Stoker’s novel, while the other is his true self, Vlad the Impaler. In all three of these cases, the relationship the real Vlad has with his literary counterpart, whose name and myth he helped inspire, is…complicated, to say the least.
16. Al Lewis, from The Munsters.
The highest ranking “Funny Dracula” of the bunch (since I placed The Count from Sesame Street far lower). Lewis’ Dracula - typically referred to simply as “Grandpa” - is more like a combination of a mad scientist and a kooky vaudeville magician than anything from Bram Stoker, but he’s certainly a lot of fun to watch.
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CHOICES 15 - 11
15. Christian Camargo, from Penny Dreadful.
After being teased for two seasons, Dracula pops up in the third and final season of “Penny Dreadful” as the main antagonist. In the series, Dracula is depicted as the brother of Lucifer himself, and desires the main character - Vanessa Ives - as his Bride, hoping to use her in a plan to, of course, take over the world. The show was rife with darkly Gothic melodrama, as the title implies, but Camargo’s Dracula subverts this: a subtle, sinister, manipulative villain with a silver tongue, whose understated demeanor belies intense power and menace. A surprising and intriguing interpretation.
14. Frank Langella, from the 1979 Film.
When I did this countdown back in 2021, for the first time, Langella’s Dracula ranked MUCH further down. Having revisited the film since, I sincerely have no idea WHY I maligned the movie, or his Dracula, as much as I did. While not perfect, the movie is much better than I remembered, and his Dracula much more impressive: a suave, slick, sympathetic, but still sinister take on the vampire with all the necessary gravity the role requires. I am pleased to now place him in my Top 15.
13. Jack Palance, from the 1973 Film.
Palance’s Dracula was the first of several kinds: he’s the first Dracula to make a direct connection between the fictional vampire and the real-life Vlad the Impaler. He’s the first to be depicted as overtly romantic, seeking the reincarnation of his long-lost bride. And while he is not necessarily the first to be presented in a sympathetic light, he is the first where that sympathy is highly focused upon, making him into a more tragic figure. While not an obvious casting choice, Palance plays Count Dracula excellently, giving him both the elegance of his noble title and a warrior’s vicious ferocity.
12. Klaus Kinski, from Nosferatu the Vampyre.
As of now, there are three remakes of Nosferatu. One is still upcoming, as I type this, starring Bill Skarsgard as the vampire. Another was finished just a couple of years ago, starring Doug Jones as the Count, but has yet to be publicly released. (Perhaps if/when I see both of those, this whole countdown will change again.) The very first was “Nosferatu the Vampyre,” which featured Klaus Kinski as a more sympathetic, but still grotesque, interpretation of the undead Transylvanian. Kinski’s Dracula isn’t a romantic figure, but instead is depicted a lonely, outcast creature who is driven by urges he cannot control; he doesn’t WANT to be a monster, but he HAS to be, which makes for an interesting interpretation.
11. Willem Dafoe, from Shadow of the Vampire.
This was the other version, along with Count Von Count, who I mentioned technically doesn’t actually count (ha ha) as Dracula. However, under the circumstances, I felt this one was worthy of higher placement. In “Shadow of the Vampire,” Willem Dafoe plays “Schreck” - a real-life vampire who coincidentally shares the same name as the actor Max Schreck, and is thus cast under this pretense in the role of Count Orlok in “Nosferatu.” While the film establishes Dracula/Orlok to be a fictional creation, Dafoe is nevertheless playing that character at the end of the day, given the premise, and he does so brilliantly.
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CHOICES 10 - 6
10. Duncan Regehr, from Monster Squad.
In this 1980s cult-classic - a sort of combo of “Ghostbusters” and “The Goonies” - a group of teenaged heroes have to face Dracula and several of the other Universal Monsters, when the villains plan to - of course - take over the world. I'm not really sure WHY I love this particular Dracula so much, I just...kind of do. Regehr’s Count is just the right level of over-the-top in the film. Much like Nic Cage and Richard Roxburgh, he’s hammy, yet still manages to have menace and power, and is quite the snazzy dresser to boot!
9. Louis Jourdan, from the 1977 BBC TV Film.
Aside from his role as Dracula in this 1970s BBC production, Jourdan is probably most famous for playing the main villain of the James Bond movie “Octopussy.” So, if you ever wondered what Dracula would be like as a Bond Villain, you’ll basically get it here. Jourdan is debonair, dashing, and deviously devilish, with a coldness and an unsettling calmness that even some of the best Draculas lack.
8. David Suchet, from the 2006 BBC Radio Production.
As usual, not pictured here in costume, because this is a radio version…but I’ll safely say, in this image, one could almost believe it. ANYWAY, Suchet played both Dracula and Van Helsing within the same year, both times for the BBC. In a TV film adaptation he played the vampire hunter, while in this radio version he takes the role of the Count. This is probably one of the most book-accurate takes on Dracula I’ve ever encountered, audio-based or not. Suchet’s work is often overshadowed by Tom Hiddleston’s appearance as Jonathan Harker in this audio play; he’s definitely worthy of more praise.
7. Peter Stormare, from The Batman vs. Dracula.
Inspired by (though not directly based upon) the “Batman & Dracula” Trilogy of graphic novels, this film (set in the universe of the early 2000s animated series “The Batman”) reveals that, after being destroyed by Van Helsing and his allies, Dracula’s remains were shipped off to America, and wound up buried in the middle of Gotham City. When he’s accidentally resurrected by Penguin, Dracula begins a reign of terror, transforming various characters - including the Joker himself - into “Lost Ones”: ghoulish vampires under his command, as he plans to take over the entire city. Interestingly, Stormare would later appear as a totally different vampire, subservient to Dracula, in Netflix’s “Castlevania” animated series. It was weird to see Dracula chewing himself out there, let me tell you…
6. Gary Oldman, from the 1992 Film.
Oldman is to many people nowadays what performers like Christopher Lee and Bela Lugosi were to many audiences of yesteryear: I don’t think any version of Dracula SINCE Oldman’s has been quite as influential and almost universally enjoyed as his. While I do enjoy his performance, and the movie in general, I can’t say it’s one of the first versions that comes to my mind when I think of Dracula, so I therefore don’t feel I can rank this one in my Top 5. Sorry, Lord Shen.
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THE TOP FIVE
5. Max Schreck, from Nosferatu.
Often imitated, but never duplicated. The true “OG” Dracula. There’s really not much to say about “Count Orlok” from this silent classic: it’s one of the most iconic and influential versions of the character ever put to the screen, and almost stands in a league of its own. While the silent film itself has some elements that haven’t aged all that well (the movie IS over a full century old now, no joke), Schreck’s work as this repulsive spook is still more than laudable.
4. Alucard, from Hellsing.
I used to say Alucard was one of my Top 3 takes on Dracula, but upon revisitation, I no longer think that’s fair: I just don’t quote him, reference him, or generally think about him as often as the three I’ve placed above him in the ranks. I will, however, still contend that he is one of the scariest versions of the character out there (which is especially impressive, since he’s the main “hero” of this series), and in my opinion the single most unique Dracula of the whole lot: it’s hard to think of a version that does everything this one does, and yet STILL feels like Dracula at the end of the day. Kudos to his voice actors: Jouji Nakata in Japan, and ESPECIALLY Crispin Freeman in English dubs.
3. The Version from Castlevania.
There are no less than three separate continuities for the Castlevania series, and Dracula is a constant figure in all of them…and in all of them, he’s pretty awesome. The “Classic” era, as I like to call it, has evolved over the years, and Dracula with it: starting off as a straightforward villain but gaining more layers and complexities (perhaps a few TOO many complexities, one could argue) as the series went on. Interestingly, Crispin Freeman - Alucard, our previous pick - somewhat recently got to play this version of Dracula in remastered versions of the games “Rondo of Blood” and “Symphony of the Night,” as well as the game “Dracula X Chronicles.” In the “Lords of Shadow” reboot trilogy, Dracula is reimagined as an anti-heroic protagonist, voiced by Rumpelstiltskin himself, Robert Carlyle. My personal favorite version of him was the Animated Series, voiced by Graham McTavish…who, incidentally, appeared in the aforementioned TMNT “Universal Monsters” story arc, playing the demon Savanti Romero. I’m a huge fan of Castlevania and its take on Dracula, and I reference these games and this take on the Count pretty frequently: it didn’t take long for me to realize this version earned placement in my Top 3.
2. Bela Lugosi, from the 1931 Film and Abbott & Costello Meet Frankenstein.
Lugosi may seem somewhat “hokey” by today’s standards, but there’s no denying that he is almost inarguably the most iconic version of Dracula: anytime someone does a Dracula impression, or a Dracula parody, or dresses in a Dracula Halloween costume, it’s Lugosi they pay homage to before all others. It’s fair to say that no other Dracula is quite as recognizable, even if you haven’t seen either of his appearances onscreen, and for that reason above all others, he earns high marks for me.
1. Christopher Lee, from Various.
I could go into great detail about everything I love about Christopher Lee’s Dracula, because there’s a LOT I could say, but I’m gonna make this as short and as sweet as I can: in my opinion, Lee is the DEFINITIVE Dracula. Considering the fact he played the Prince of Darkness anywhere between ten and fourteen times, depending on how you count, with one of those occasions being (so far) the ONLY Dracula in film to resemble the character Stoker describes in the novel almost identically…yeah. I think it’s hard to argue AGAINST that fact, personally, whether he’s one’s favorite or not. Given the man’s…COMPLICATED relationship with the role, I doubt he’d necessarily be happy to hear it…but Christopher Lee is, nevertheless, My Favorite Dracula.
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hinamie · 2 months ago
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not my usual lineup
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katsinspats · 11 months ago
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Thematically appropriate comic for Make a Terrible Comic Day!!
I saw the original post this morning and it made me get out of bed to make something, so thank u Pseudonym Jones mission accomplished
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cimicherrychanga · 2 years ago
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Because i feel like i might be overestimating what the average is, i shall Conduct Research
This isn't about how many languages you speak, but how many youre able to count up to at least 10 in, since basic numbers are some of the first words you learn in a foreign language and sometimes you catch them without having studied the language at all
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jjskiaraa · 7 months ago
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You know what I cannot wait for? The day we have an election and we don’t have to say vote like your life depends on it because it does. This man has seeped into every facet of our lives for almost TEN years. Think about that. With one simple vote for Kamala Harris and Tim Walz he’s cooked-forever, and we won’t have to deal with that urgency again. We can have real policy debates and make actual progress again, once he is gone for good. So let’s do this thing one last time let’s vote like our lives depend on it and get back a better politic.
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ogeneraloito · 9 months ago
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interesting how fords been surrounded by triangles his entire life. looks like ford and bill were always doomed to meet each other
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ford did seem to think that he is destined to be in gravity falls, destined to be part of greater things, and bill also thought he was "destined for so much more"
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to quote on alex, "that's ford's great flaw, is arrogance. is he believes that there's special people, and everyone else. that human attachments are actually weaknesses. and the song and dance that he’s giving dipper right now, is the song and dance that he gave mcgucket, back when they were younger… ‘you and me are different, we’re better than everyone else. we have a path that no one else can understand, and only us can do this.’"
i think at some point bill really thought ford was the one that UNDERSTOOD him (well, ford did think "why did rudolph not simply kill the other reindeer? he shouldve burned his workshop to the ground"). some of his henchmaniacs didnt seem to actually like bill at all
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quick edit for something ive found:
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this is from "dreamscaperers", and apparently ford had been dreaming about the cipher wheel for weeks before he even found the cave. enough times that he was even able to perfectly draw the wheel on the journal. bill didnt even know about ford yet.
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stil-lindigo · 2 years ago
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bite of winter.
a comic about a princess who died in the snow.
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all my other comics
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eyelovveu · 9 months ago
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Bill reading the Great Gabtsy
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I’ve never read the great Gatsby personally but I hear it’s got unrequited love…
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awearywritersworld · 2 months ago
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okay, what if the situation at moonrise towers was reversed?
the trader is a vampire and they offer you the potion to permanently increase your strength, but only if you let them feed from you.
astarion would try soooo hard not to let his emotions betray him. you haven't defined your relationship. the decision is yours to make. he's just using you, anyway...
but gods, does the thought of someone else's teeth in your neck make him sick to his stomach. no one else should be able to taste you, to hear the way your breath catches at the first draw of blood, to feel your hand grip their bicep if it gets to be too much.
you decline the offer, much to the pale elf's relief, and he finds himself in your tent that night. he joins you even before the other party members have gone to sleep for the evening.
his desperation quickly becomes apparent. he litters your neck with bites before moving to your chest, then your abdomen. he hardly even feeds, too busy marking what's his.
making his way back up your body, he laps at the blood he's spilled while the warmth of his breath fans across your delicate skin.
once he finds your lips, he leaves a lingering kiss there before pulling back. his expression is almost sheepish, though the sentiment is gone the very next moment.
he settles beside you wordlessly, opens a book, and pretends not to see the look on your face— knowing and amused.
bg3 masterlist
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tobeholyistobeempty · 3 months ago
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obsessed with the idea of soap being the long term guy friend of yours that you swear you’d never hookup with because he’s just not your type and you really just don’t see him like that - until you suddenly go through a nasty breakup and find yourself under him being absolutely worshipped and overstimmed and fucking devoured from every possible angle. soap would happily play the long game and god would he ever play it well.
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greatcometcas · 10 months ago
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If you feel it, chase it.
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zuzuzolsstuff · 4 months ago
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Coffee ☕🩷
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willgrahamscock · 6 months ago
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I’ve been on ao3 too much
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inkyrainstorms · 21 days ago
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you guys know those AUs where Stanley opens the portal after thirty years but for Ford only a few second/minutes/days have passed in the portal.
What if, in another world - by the infinite nature of multiverse - the portal was functional enough for another run right there in the portal room, that blistery cold 1982 winter day. What if, when Stanley threw enough things around and pressed enough buttons and the portal opened again (in the same spot in the Nightmare Realm it had before) (not calibrated to Ford like had been in canon) the Ford had stepped out was the one from his final confrontation with Bill. What if Ford stepped out thirty years older and wiser and angrier
What if he saw Stanley crying, relieved, and then terrified and confused and devastated. What if he, at sixty years old, saw Stanley and saw only a scared child, half his age. His brother.
What if Ford had thought his brother had left and grown up for those long thirty years, but he came back and it was his brother that saved him that very night? His brother, by sheer dumb luck? His brother, who couldn't have accounted for time dilation if he tried (not like the old Stanley did) but still tried
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