#deadpool and hawkeye

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Carol: Everyone, relax. You’ve been chosen by a higher power.

Y/N: Did she just call herself God?

Yelena: I think she did.

Kate: I’d like to go home.

Carol: And I’d like the McRib to be available year round, but sometimes dreams don’t come true!!

[save-me-spiderman]

harsh bro

[iwannabealice]

clint: what do rainbows mean to you?

wade: gay rights

kate: there's money

matt: the sign of god's promise to never destroy the whole earth with a flood

peter: it is an optical phenomenon that separates sunlight into its continuous spectrum when the sun shines on raindrops

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

I don't think we should be looking to Gotham for someone to kill the Joker. Honestly, we shouldn't even be looking in that universe.

What needs to happen is Deadpool goes to his two favorite Avengers and tells them this fuck-awful CLOWN killed a BIRD TEENAGE SUPERHERO, you should be offended on SO MANY LEVELS, plops the Hawkeyes in Gotham, and lets nature take its course

[goldenvulpine]

It is scientifically proven that 99% of Marvel ships are healthier in Fan content, alternate universes and crackships than actual canon

Marvel can’t write a healthy relationship for more than Two Issues without inserting toxicity for drama. It’s the law.

[clintbartonruinedmylife]

[spider-mand]

I love that one of Deadpool's first acts as a Certified Good Guy™, a member of the shiny new Avengers Unity Squad, is a jailbreak.

Hawkeye's facing trial for killing [spoiler], so Deadpool breaks in with a getaway boat, and an envelope full of cash and forged identity documents to get him out of the country. Of course Hawkeye rejects the offer, but I love this exchange.

It's just... very Deadpool. A bizarre but sincere attempt to help and cheer up his friend.

I love that Wade's little semi-disturbing speech gets a laugh, that Clint genuinely seems cheered up by Wade's visit, that Clint understands Wade a little better now that he's also faced a "kill one to save many" crisis he couldn't find another way out of.

Basically I just forgot how much I like seeing these dumpster fire humans being bros and now I really want another Hawkeye/Deadpool teamup comic.

[oldfangirl81]

Marvel Ornaments for gifts that I've painted over the last few days.

[kodicrome-212]

Spidy and DP accommodate their peers with disabilities without question,

Be like Spidy and DP

that's a threat

[extraordinary-heroes]

Hawkeye vs. Deadpool Vol 1 #1 (Cover art by James Harren)

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Kate: If you got arrested what would be the charges?

Scott: Theft.

Sam: Disturbing the peace.

Yelena: Aggravated assault.

Bucky: Arson.

Wade: All of the above. In that order, probably.

[figures4fun]

Interviews are hard

[marvel-payformytherapy]

Natasha Romanoff: "Why did you do that?"

Clint Barton: "I panicked."

Natasha Romanoff: "You pushed a big red button labeled 'do not push'."

Clint Barton: "In my defense, I thought it would open a secret door or something."

[comicwaren]

From Death of the Venomverse #001

Art by Gerardo Sandoval and Jim Campbell

Written by Cullen Bunn

[sergeant-angels-trashcan]

Just thinking about Roy Harper meeting Kate Bishop in THEEEE stupidest ways possible like

Roy has successfully picked the lock on Jason's main safehouse but didn't have to bust through a deadbolt or chain, which is suspicious.

Also suspicious is the woman aiming a gun at his head.

"Who the fuck is stupid enough to break into the Red Hood's apartment?" She snaps at him.

"I could ask you the same thing!"

"I didn't break in, genius, I live here."

"You're not the Red Hood."

"No, I'm dating the Red Hood."

Stupidest lie ever, Roy thinks. "Joke's on you because Red Hood doesn't have a girlfriend, and if he did, he'd tell his best friend!"

"Well joke's on you because Red Hood doesn't have a best friend!"

They stare at each other. Roy feels like the silence is uncomfortable.

"That was kind of mean, wasn't it?" The woman asks, much quieter than before.

"Yeah, that's what I was thinking," Roy admits. The woman has kept the gun aimed at him the entire time. He's almost impressed.

"Wait," her forehead wrinkles. "Arsenal?"

"Yeah, how did you--wait. Not Hawkeye?"

"Oh my god! Yeah! That's me!" She's gone from threatening to Ray of Sunshine in less than half a second, bouncing over and squeezing Roy into a hug. "It's so good to meet you!"

A few minutes later, Roy has a glass of water and is watching Hawkeye tape the gun back under the table. "I thought you didn't use guns?"

She heaves a massive sigh. "I don't like guns. Doesn't mean I don't use them."

"Ah."

The front door shatters and Hawkeye heaves another sigh just as the Red Hood rounds the corner, gun up. Roy stays leaning against the wall. "Hey, Jay."

"Roy? What are--" his head whips between looking at Roy and at the table Hawkeye is crawling out from under, roll of duct tape around her wrist like some tacky bracelet. "Kate--?"

"Oh, hey babe," Hawkeye says, apparently very unbothered by the Red Hood with a gun pointed in her general direction--Roy knows Jason and he knows he's not actually aiming it at her, seems she knows this too. "You didn't tell me Arsenal was coming into town."

"Because I didn't know--" Jason is cut off by Hawkeye using his shoulder to balance as she presses up to her toes and plants a kiss on the cheek of his helmet.

"I'll let you boys catch up," she says, breezing towards the bedroom. "Jason, I'm taking your patrol tonight."

"No, you're not," he protests, which is cute. Roy can already tell he's lost the argument.

"Yes, I am," she counters, turning so she can face them as she walks away. "I'm not fixing that door. You guys can do it while you have a bro-date. Or a real date, or whatever. I don't know your life."

"Kate," Jason says, a tinge of desperation in his voice that is the only reason Roy isn't laughing his ass off right now. "You live with me."

"Oh, yeah," her voice drifts from the room she disappeared into. "I do, don't I? I like that. Hm." She says it like she actually forgot for a moment it was true.

"I see," Roy says conversationally. "So she's insane."

Jason finally flips the release on his helmet, setting it down on the kitchen table with a sigh. "Just don't mention any of your trick arrow prototypes or--"

"Trick arrows?" Hawkeye practically falls out of the room, about, from what Roy can tell, halfway in uniform. "Oh my god, yes! Finally someone who will appreciate this! Arsenal," she says, locking eyes with him. "Boomerang. Arrow."

"Why would--" it takes Roy half a second to actually process what she's said. "Oh, shit! Yeah. Yeah, that's a genius idea! Jay, we're going to need to switch safehouses, we need a workshop."

Jason sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, acting like he's so put upon, which he undermines when he says, "the apartment under this one is already set up."

[mamulgogi]

Deadpool vs Hawkeye