#depending on whether people find me funny or not

[why-animals-do-the-thing]

Sorry if you've already covered this, but I was scrolling socials and saw that the San Antonio zoo got a large donation to expand their savanna habitat. The only thing that jarred me as I read through their expansion plans was apparently they're going to be outfitting some 'safari' vehicles so guests can be taken into the habitat to feed and interact with the animals (from within the vehicle). I was always under the impression that this kind of interaction wasn't necessarily good for either the humans or the animals-- is there a way it can be done ethically?? Anyway, I just thought it was interesting!

Ooo, okay, your question aligned with a thing I've been chewing on for a while, so let's talk ~ethics~ and ~philosophy~ aka this is gonna be a bit long. I do promise I'll answer your question, though!

The first thing I want to note is that you're really asking about two different things, which are almost always conflated these days when it comes to talking about animals: welfare (is the animal happy / healthy / safe) and ethics (is what's happening good / moral / acceptable). It's really important that we distinguish between the two, because welfare is an objective measure of physical and mental wellbeing, and ethics are a human construct that involves subjective interpretation.

A useful but highly oversimplified example of this is the bothering of cats for online videos. Pestering a cat to get a funny reaction once in a while may not impact their overall welfare. Welfare is the cumulative impact of an animal's experiences, which means that single acute moments may not weight heavily on the entire balance. If the cat is healthy, fed well, enriched, and has a good and positive bond with their humans, those momentary irritations for videos might not matter much. That doesn't mean that you or I, as viewers, might not still find bothering an animal for internet clout ethical. We can believe that humans shouldn't ever unnecessarily put their pet through negative experiences, and we can think that doing so just because it brings the human money or fame is distasteful. But! We have to recognize that as used in this example, those ethical stances aren't inherently tied to the animal's welfare state. Many people I know who dislike cat-bothering don't care if the animal has good welfare outside of that situation - they don't like that the situation occurs at all, ever.

So, back to your question. You're wanting to know if it's okay for a zoo to have a drive-through aspect of an exhibit where people get to feed the animals. You're asking if it's safe for the humans and for the animals (which is a welfare question) and if that type of interaction is ethical. I could just tell you that of course it's fine, San Antonio is an AZA zoo and their accreditation only allows them to do "good things" but that's now how it works here (nor is it the reality of accreditation).

The safety aspect is one I'm not worried about. It's actually a pretty common thing for reputable facilities to do some sort of vehicle tour in savanna habitats, whether in the guest's vehicle (safari parks) or on a hay-ride type vehicle (zoos). Many of those allow guests to feed out specific parts of their animals' diets. Offhand, I know Tampa and Fossil Rim both have feeding tours like this in a staff-driven vehicle. It's not specified from the zoo's press release, but I can guarantee you that guests will not be driving those vehicles - which means the interactions will be proctored by staff and what people are feeding out will be carefully regulated. The habitat is going to have rhino, giraffe, zebra, ostrich, and antelope/gazelle, and I'd guess that the drive-through is going to stick to those latter two and maybe additional species. Those are animals where a car is an appropriate safety barrier.

As to if it's ethical to do? It's spiny question, because it depends very directly on the ethical perspectives of the person you're asking. I think it's fine - you may not. Let's break down the different things that come into consideration on the ethical side, and my responses:

"The zoo is commercially exploiting animals by letting people pay to get closer." If the issue is that people paying to get closer to animals is using them for money, well, that's the business model of a zoo (non-profit or not, they still need revenue to operate). So IMHO it's not like it's "less ethical" than anything else the zoo is doing, using that framing.

"Zoo animals should be allowed to be wild and undisturbed by guests driving in their habitats." Zoo animals aren't wild, and their entire lives revolve around humans and the human work schedule. As long as a vehicle entering the habitat doesn't have a negative welfare impact (e.g. they're not scared of it), it's not very different from the rest of the routine of managed care.

"Feeding zoo animals will encourage people to try to feed wild animals." Thanks to obnoxiously viral content creators, people are going to try to feed wild animals no matter what. Doing it in a proctored situation where a staff member can try to do some education at the same time is probably the best possible scenario.

"People just do those tours to get close to cool animals." People are always going to want to touch the animals. If being able to pay for a tour keeps them from jumping the fence to try to pet a rhino, great.

There's one more that I want to talk about separately, because I think it's where a lot of confusion gets generated. It's this idea that "Humans shouldn't be interacting with animals at all, any interaction is unethical and bad for the animals." This is a welfare crossover, but not one actually informed by welfare science in a captive situation. And I think it's because the internet lacks nuance. Yes, it is absolutely correct to say that with wild animals, you should never ever try to feed a deer out of your car (or similar). It is incredibly harmful to those animals on both an acute and chronic timeline. But thanks to the rage-bait algorithms on social media and people endlessly justifying doing stupid, dangerous, bad things (and getting pushback for it), there's been a lot of bleed between the public's understanding of what wild animal welfare is and what captive animal welfare is. Combine that with the reality that captive animal welfare cannot be assessed or diagnosed from a single context-less clip, and that people with strong beliefs and no practical experience with the field/species/individual will pass judgement loudly to their audiences...

The result is almost a reflexive believe in many sectors of the internet that any human-animal interaction that isn't couched as a "rescue" is inherently unethical, for reasons people often can't articulate. Which is why, I think, so often people want to support certain aspects of captive animal management but feel guilty for doing so. I see this a lot in the questions the blogs gets, and I'm glad people feel comfortable asking, because it's important to think through not just the individual instances but the patterns leading us to question them.

So yes, I'd say that a staff-led experience in a vehicle chosen for safety is an ethical way to proctor an interaction between guests and certain savanna species. It will vary by facility - I'm always more wary about guests driving, although many drive-through safaris are fine - and by setup. I think what San Antonio is doing will be fine, though, and will be interested to see / hear about the setup when they start up.

If you've got a question about ethical captive management, I'm always happy to talk about it - but I'd invite you to poke around in your head a little and send me not just your question in the ask, but your thinking about why or why not something might be concerning. It's great practice for understanding why you relate to animal ethics the way you do, and where those beliefs come from.

[t00thpasteface]

i very deeply respect your mashposting and even though im not as enthusiastic about hawkahy as you are i think the content you make for them us delightful and some of the best mashposting on this godforsaken website. that being said, i wanted to know ur takes on the hawkeye & trapper dynamic, and the hawkeye & bj dynamic. Not in a shippy way, just in the World of Hawkahy what role do trapper and bj play in their relationships with hawkeye :3 this because i love that one comic u did where hawkeye is spunchbop and bj is Patrick its one of my fave pieces of mash fanart lol

(⁠๑˘❥⁠��� ˘๑⁠) first off, THANK YOU!! i'm soooo crazy about hawkahy and i really enjoy contributing to my fellow shippers, but i'm glad my art can also still appeal to people who are less interested the ship itself.

second, VERY fun question!! i wish i had definitive answers for yall, but you know me... i love to go "well idk it could go either way" ^_^;; really, it depends on what kind of tone and theme i'm looking for. i don't really write heavier stuff (because i have so much fun writing funny fic) so that kind of narrows my options, but there's a lot of potential i'd love to explore— or see someone else explore, if they're so inclined!

TRAP:

generally the trapper reading i typically default to is that he and hawkeye have a pretty casual FWB thing going on. trapper considers hawkeye a very close friend and hooks up with him at an intersection of bicuriosity and deep platonic affection, but hawkeye catches baddddd feelings and ends up genuinely heartbroken to find out their thing was lopsided. in this case, hawkahy would happen only after trapper leaves— mulcahy has a tough time trying to get noticed before that point :( but at the same time, i don't think mulcahy would pounce at the first opportunity, because i don't think an immediate rebound would be good for hawkeye nor mulcahy... but it could happen for dramaaaaa...

another version of the hawkeye-trapper rapport that i love playing with in my fics is trapper being generally very supportive but nonetheless slightly grossed out. i think there's a lotttt of comedy potential with hawkeye thinking it's okay to fuck a priest but NOT a married woman, and meanwhile trapper is pro-infidelity but anti-priestfucking (for whatever reason), and they squabble and tease each other about it the whole time.

it's also funny to think about is trapper trying to figure out whether mulcahy now gets the "one of the bros" back-slapping beer-chugging dude treatment, or if instead he's now slotted into the "go easy on 'em trap" category that protects hawkeye's ladyfriends from hearing trapper's bawdiest jokes and comments when hawkeye brings them along as a plus-one to the swamp.

trapper seems like he's pretty likely to sniff out that hawkeye and mulcahy are seeing each other even if they try their damnedest to keep it secret. i like to think hawkeye trusts trapper enough that he would go ahead and divulge it it up front pretty soon after it's official. trapper could probably even pick up hawkeye's crush beforehand... maybe even before hawkeye knows about it!

i don't see trapper as being too jealous of hawkeye spending a lot of time with mulcahy, even if it means hawkeye is now exclusive and not sleeping with trapper anymore. if anything i think he'd be pretty stoked that he's got one less guy to compete with for the nurses' attention. pretty sweet deal as far as he's concerned.

i do think there'd be some tricky navigating between how hawkeye acts with trapper and the STARK difference with how he acts around mulcahy, which you can see clear as day in the s1 finale, where hawkeye gets soooo soft and careful while talking to mulcahy. i don't think either one is disingenuous; i think hawkeye contains multitudes. hawkeye's not the type to fake sincerity. and to that end, i really don't think hawkahy should hinge on hawkeye totally giving up all the cruder parts of his personality (especially since mulcahy is really no saint either), so it could be pretty interesting to see that manifest in whether/how he's still maintaining a close friendship with trapper now that he's been seeing mulcahy regularly and trying to make a good impression.

BEEJ:

the direction bj goes in depends on whether hawkahy are already an item before he gets there. he does form that almost instantaneous trauma-bond with hawkeye on his first day, but i think if hawkeye admitted "yeah by the way the chaplain is my boyfriend" as soon it seemed safe, bj would be able to take it in stride as another weird little quirk of the mash he has to get used to. he's too hung up on dealing with all the gore to worry about who's banging who.

by contrast, i think he could potentially get pretty upset/jealous if hawkeye and mulcahy paired up a little while later. i can see him feeling really betrayed, like, "what do you normally do when i'm gone?" "wait for you to get back!!"

if bj still doesn't feel like he's really enmeshed himself into the unit— which i think on some level, he never wants to, because he's banking on dropping everything like a hot potato the second he can— then i can totally picture him just feeling completely lost and isolated when hawkeye is suddenly forgoing their boys-nite boozathons in favor of getting some priest pipe. like, at least trapper could always go find his own cuddle buddy to pass the time and had nurses lining up to volunteer; bj has basically nobody and doesn't seem inclined nor equipped to fix that. hawkeye is his liason to the rest of the camp, and bj isn't so great with people without having hawkeye there to help as both teleprompter and safety net.

basically i think bj wants to keep hawkeye within a very specific arm's-length radius— not too close, but not too far either, and hawkeye having so much private time with someone else could really get under his skin.

you could also have bj think the priestfucking is gross/bad on sheer principle like trapper did, even without the jealousy angle, and it'd probably hold a little more water coming from bj than trapper. however, it'd be funny if he's insisting it's definitely not a jealousy thing and he's being fully objective about it, but you can totally tell he's just jealous. x)

i admit i kinda love seeing bj get tormented, because he's got such obvious buttons to press and yet sternly insists that they don't even exist, similar to houlihan and frank. like, you can't just set that up and not expect me to rub my hands together and SLAM those buttons as hard as i can. ergo, bj getting jealous about hawkahy is supremely funny to me. i'm not too proud to admit that!

[euclydya]

i may be hyping mtself up too much but the ideas i have for skills bracket 2 already are killing me it'll be soooo funny

[eggshellsareneat]

Alright, I think I like tumblr now.

A pun post crossed my dash, and I reblogged it with an equally bad pun in return. A couple of my followers find it funny, it's a good day for everyone.

That was on July 7th.

Virality on Reddit was entirely algorithmic. You could garner a couple crossposts, but the success of a post was entirely dependent on whether or not it hit r/all--the main page of Reddit. If your post does that, it's immediately exposed to 10x the number of people and immediately gets upvoted.

On my pun post, I get a couple reblogs. And those reblogs get a couple reblogs--nobody really adds any content to the post, it just gets a couple reblogs here and there.

There's a specific chain of reblogs that I'd like to focus on. The most popular post on this chain has about 25 reblogs on it. Half the posts have three reblogs or fewer. Five posts in this chain have just one reblog total.

But the reblog chain keeps going. And going. It breaches containment many times over. And finally, after a chain THIRTY SIX posts long, at 9:30 AM, July 22nd this morning, it hits a popular account.

99% percent of the people who have seen the post--virtually unchanged from how it left my dash--have seen it because it was curated by 36 different people. That's insane to me.

None of those 36 people know that they're part of this chain. They saw a post, reblogged it, and moved on. If any one of these people had not reblogged, the post would have a fraction of the impact it has.

And yet, after two weeks, the post has effectively hit the main page of tumblr. It was picked up, only because people liked it enough to show it to their followers. There were no algorithms necessary.

You really, truly, cannot get this on any other website.

[babyleostuff]

svt without their goodnight kiss | ot13

𐙚🧸ྀི choi seungcheol

this baby (29 year old man) would not be having it. he swears he needs his goodnight kiss to fall asleep, so not getting one is a big no no. at first he’d try to be all „okay, whatever, if they don’t want to give me my goodnight kiss then so be it” (stumps his feet). yeah, gives up on that after ten seconds. cheol would then try to pull you even closer to his body (as if that was possible), to gently remind you that „baby, what about my kiss?”

𐙚🧸ྀི yoon jeonghan

i think it depends on the day for hannie. if he’s having more of a „yoon menace jeonghan” day, he’s going to wake you up, and stare at you with a blank expression and pursed lips, waiting for his kiss. if he’s having more of a „hannie” day, there’s NO way he’s waking you up. the only think he does is tucks you in even better, wrapping you up in the blankets, thus making you look like a lil burrito.

𐙚🧸ྀི joshua hong

not going to lie - he’d be a bit upset about not getting his goodnight kiss. he may not be the most outwardly affectionate person out there, but he still loves getting his kisses, especially before bed. if he saw you already asleep there’s no way he’d wake you up, but if you were still kind of awake, shua would try to find a way to get his kiss after all (would probably take way to long to come up with a plan, and you’d end up falling asleep).

𐙚🧸ྀི wen junhui

please don’t forget about jun’s goodnight kiss, he turns into a sad pookie without one :(((( he cherishes your affection SO much (even though he’s not the one to actually initiate it, trust me: he loves it). and so not getting his lil kisses before sleep is a big deal for jun, because how is he supposed to fall asleep without them? in conclusion - you forgetting goodnight kisses = sad jun (and that would be a sad jun for the whole night because there is no way he’d remind you about the kisses).

𐙚🧸ྀི kwon soonyoung

worry not - soonyoung is going to smother you in kisses if you forget. sleeping or not, he will give you a kiss (ten of them) (though if you’re actually asleep, he’s much more gentle). whether he’s the one to get kissed or if he’s the one to give the kiss, hoshi has to share some of his affection before bed. he just wants you to know that he loves you (there’s a small chance he’d be a bit sulky in the morning because of the lack of his goodnight kiss)

𐙚🧸ྀི jeon wonwoo

it’s funny because whenever he forgets about giving you your goodnight kiss, and you complain about it in the morning he’s all like 🙄 BUT when it’s you not giving him his kiss he turns into a pouty babie (in sad font). wonwoo is too shy to ask you for the kiss, so if you forget he’s doomed to a sleepless night (not actually, but he likes being dramatic like that) (his goodnight kiss is really important for him).

𐙚🧸ྀི lee jihoon

our jihoon, leader of the „i hate love affection” squad. whenever people asks him how he feels about stereotypical relationship stuff, he’s kind of like :/// okay, sure - then why are you all pouty if you don’t get your goodnight kiss, woozi? thank god you’re already sleep so you can’t see his adorable pout (he wouldn’t be able to bare your teasing), but really? you forgot about the kiss? (👉🏼👈🏼). to make himself even more miserable he doesn’t wake you up (that comes more from the fact that he wants you to actually sleep, he knows that there’s no point in waking you up).

𐙚🧸ྀི lee seokmin

what do you mean no kiss??? but how is he supposed to fall asleep now??? hello??? why do you want him to suffer??? he clings to you extra tightly, so even if you are already sleep, his extra tight hug wakes you up (after that it’s not hard to figure out the reason for his extra clinginess) (as if the pout didn’t tell you everything you needed to know). seokmin feels kind of bad for waking you up, but after you kiss him (and he kisses you back), you’re able to quickly fall asleep together this time.

𐙚🧸ྀི kim mingyu

has no shame (and he really needs his goodnight kiss), so he just manhandles you so he can properly see your face, and stares at you (gyu makes those comically big eyes since it’s dark, and there is a 99% chance you can’t see them anyway), and waits till you get what he wants. if you don’t (because you’re probably too tired to understand his antics), he just plainly says „goodnight kiss”, and taps his lips.

𐙚🧸ྀི xu minghao

wouldn’t be overly dramatic about not getting the kiss, because that would just mean he’d be the one to give you one :))) (or two) (or many more). of course he adores getting his goodnight kisses from you, but i honestly think he loves it even more when he’s the one to shower you in affection. hao is not the biggest on physical touch, but something about the nighttime, and you both being in bed that makes him more expressive with his affection.

𐙚🧸ྀི boo seungkwan

huh, the audacity you have to forget about his goodnight kiss. for the first five minutes boo just lays in bed slightly angry at you that you dared to forget about it (because come on - he has to have his kiss kiss), but then a bigger problem arises. how the hell is he supposed to fall asleep without it? and so he spends the next few minutes looking up at the ceiling, and wondering how he was able to fall asleep before he met you (he came to the conclusion that it was impossible, sleep didn’t exist before you) (he managed to fall asleep anyway) (and obviously he asked you the next morning why you didn’t kiss him) (turns out you were so tired you simply forgot)

𐙚🧸ྀི vernon chwe

actually quite happy about it because it means he can give you a goodnight kiss. maybe you were too tired, maybe you just didn’t feel like kissing him that night - it didn’t matter, it was the perfect moment for vernon to be a bit clingier for once. yes, he loves your pre bedtime kisses, but being the one giving you those feels so good as well (and usually he’s just too shy to be the one to give the goodnight kiss) (he also knows how happy it makes you to kiss him goodnight so he usually doesn’t have the heart to be the one to initiate them).

𐙚🧸ྀི lee chan

very sad, very heartbroken, very much unable to sleep. chan is a lil romantic, and he loves your little routine of giving and receiving goodnight kisses, so he’s not really surprised about feeling so upset. yes, he understands that you’re tired, and probably just fell asleep before you were able to give him one, but… at least one kiss, please? but chan wouldn’t do anything about it. as much as he’s heartbroken about a kiss-less night, he would never wake you up or disturb your sleep just for a kiss (would make sure to ask for extra good morning kisses) (and would hold you extra tight that night to make up for the lack of kisses)

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[infantilebliss]

Supportive Adult Baby Talk

When it comes to ABDL, I always find it funny how it often leads towards two avenues as being generally popular for how people 'talk' to them that are under the 'caretaker' side... either degrading them for being adults that are acting and put in a position way too immature, or being just babies that need to be treated as they are with not much thought about them being adults.

For me, though I generally enjoy treating such cuties as babies, there is something absolutely alluring about having a hybridization of the two in a way that it isn't like either of the two described. Not particularly able to articulate what that is by simple description, so I'll try to show by examples through fantasies.

One such fantasy is when dressing up the cuties~ When you go about and getting outfits for them to go outside or being simply indoors, them in just their well earned pampers that are part of their being, waiting patiently in their nursery as outfits are looked at. When it comes to choosing, their caretaker doesn't simply ignore or humiliate the poor thing, instead they constantly ask questions and compliments... "What colour do you want to wear today?", "Do you feel like dressies or overalls going out?", "This outfit looks really adorable on you, it compliments your adorable face and hair so much and brings out your eyes~"... and when the little one is sucking their binky and trying to babble through their thoughts or having a cute little lisp when making little droolies down their lips, their caretaker constantly listens and tries to articulate what they desire, even if it is hard to understand what the baby is saying sometimes through their baby lips: "Ok, you don't like that blue dress? We can try this other blue dress or a different outfit.", "Yes sweetie, it is a cute outfit, and it's going to look cuter on you~", "Of course sweetie, you can wear that if you want to".

Another is to have the little cutie being able to enjoy what they love to do... whether it is drawing on their paper, or playing their video games, or doing whatever hobbies or interests that peaks their desires. Whether it compliments their 'adult' or 'baby' aspects or a general connection to both, just being there, whether it be them sitting on their lap or going down to one knee to meet their current height as such adult infants are always meant to be given so much dotting and care, being there to support and be part of their interests. Even if it is not entirely your interests as a person, a caretaker that always is there to support their other desires is something that any good relationship really needs... "Hey sweetie, what are you drawing?". "I really love the colours you chose for the sky", "How far have you gotten sweetie?", "Are you thirsty sweetie? Dada can get you a baba so you can have a full tum-tums when playing your playstation~", "Anything interesting happening in the book so far?", "You did such a wonderful job with the trainset sweetie, I'm going to take a picture of it~"...

Being there for an Adult Baby and constantly being there as a support for them for being who they are is such a wonderful, tasteful thought... of course, someone like me will always treat an adult baby as a baby... but I also know that such cuties are little ones that, although they do crave and desire that sense of vulnerability, dependence, and softness in their lives, they more than likely still have other things in their hearts, still have other needs and desires that they need fulfilled and support in. Being there for the little one and acting as a constant foundation, a pillar for the little ones that are meant to be coo'd and aww'd over is always something that gives a smile in my face every time I think about it. I wish more people were like that.

To talk to them as someone so small and vulnerable, yet willing and able to meet their level and be kind to them is something that I would want to strive to be.

[kimbap-r0ll]

Hi there! Can i request TWST housewardens (seperate) finding out that their S/O likes to hold their breath everytime they cry because they dont want anyone to hear them crying and worry. (The said housewarden was trying to find them when they stumble on them crying)

You are an amazing writer and i hope you have lovely day/night! ✧⁠◝⁠(⁠⁰⁠▿⁠⁰⁠)⁠◜⁠✧

Hey, thank you for the ask and the lovely note, hope you have a great day/night too! I low-key feel like I needed some comfort headcanons so I'm glad I can write some haha. Hope everyone's doing well or things get better too

Dorm leaders finding their s/o trying to hide their crying

Riddle

He looked everywhere for you but couldn't find you — he looked at places he knew you liked to hang out, some of his own favorite places, but you were nowhere to be seen. When he was about to give up, he heard some noise in the storage closet in Ramshackle.

"Y/n? Are you in there?" no response. He assumed you would be in there even if you weren't making a sound, so he just yanks open the door. He's about to ask you (not in the nicest way) why you didn't respond to any of his texts nor did you let yourself be known when he passed by the closet fifty times, but he holds all of that back when he sees you on the floor with your hands over your mouth. You had tears in your eyes and just looked at him and the door.

Riddle probably knows what's going on since he's been through situations like this before. He just sits on the floor with you and asks if you're alright. "If you need some time alone, I can give you that, but if you want me to be here, I'll stay." Depending on what you want, he'll do just that. If you ask him to stay, he'll also let you know it's fine to cry, saying it's healthier for you to let it out.

He's extremely gentle when he hugs you, doesn't say much but keeps you close to him. He's not the best with words because he himself never got comforting phrases that often when he was a kid, so he just does what he can. Riddle also tells you not to worry about crying when he's around, he wants you to feel safe and that he'll worry more if he sees you scared of getting attention for crying

When you're a bit calmer, he might get some tea for you two and might ask if you want to talk about it. If you don't, he'll try to change the topic into something you're interested in, whether that is a new book that you two started reading together or something funny he saw that day. Riddle's not the best with comfort, but he wants you to know it's fine, no, much better if you cry since it can help you de-stress. He just wants you to feel better soon, and if you need anything from him he'll do his best to provide.

Leona

I feel like he wanted to ask you about hanging out together but forgot to and took a nap. A few hours later, he woke up and was like "...where are you?" He went looking but it seemed like no one knew where you were, not even Ruggie who usually finds people really easily. Leona was about to give up and just call you on his phone but he swore he heard some muffled sobbing from a darker section of the library.

I feel like it would be hard to hide your crying from him because his hearing's too good. Also, he does what you hoped he wouldn't — worry, alot. Leona pulls you up from the floor where you're sitting and asks you what is going on. Did someone hurt you? Does he need to go find this guy? Honestly, whatever caused you to tear up he's extremely upset about. You won't really notice him worrying because he has a very calm face. "...Did you want to talk about it? Also what are you doing here all by yourself?"

He'll notice you're trying to stay quiet. Sighing, he pulls you into a hug and pushes your face closer to his chest, he'll tell you to more or less "let it out" and that no ones around because it's like midnight. He'll just hold onto you until he can tell you've calmed down a bit. Even if you try to push him off I feel like he'll tell you "No you're clearly trying to hold all of the emotions in, that's not healthy."

Also someone who's not good at comforting others, he'll do what he can while being respectful. You two might just sit in the library in complete silence while he just keeps an arm around you, if you choose to speak to him about what upset you he'll listen 200%. After this, he might ask if you want to walk back to Ramshackle together, or if you look super tired you two might just sleep at the library

Either way, he's similar to Riddle in that he has no idea what to say to help you other than to listen to you. If it turns out someone upset you he might throw some fists but before that, he wants you to know it's fine to cry. He'll make sure you know he doesn't think it's weird to cry when he's around, and it's healthy to let some tears fall from time to time.

Azul

He cries often, so he probably knows what it's like to not want others to see you crying. He thought you might be having a bad week (he's just really good at reading people) but decided against asking you about it. However, when you went missing and the Leech twins said they have no idea where you ran off to, he starts to panic. Did he scare you away? Did someone kidnap you? Did you decide to leave Twisted Wonderland and not tell him anything?! He spirals a bit but decides to go looking for you before he goes into his octopot and de-stresses

Literally almost turns the whole school upside down but finds you in the Ramshackle closet. "Oh, darling I was worried sick about you! What are you doing—" he stops, noticing you shaking and not facing him, you were crying. Azul curses himself for complaining first thing and immediately sits down on the floor, placing a hand on your back. "...Is...is everything alright? Do you need some time by yourself?"

Extremely careful with you, honestly you might start worrying more because he seems super cautious. But if you ask him to leave, he'll say he'll be in the Ramshackle lounge in case you want to talk to him later. If you want him to stay, he'll pull you closer and stay with you. He won't tell you to cry it out since he thinks it won't do anything, but he'll at least let you know it's fine to cry and he himself cries often. He doesn't care if you want him to stay by your side for the next six hours, he'll do just that because you're the person he cares about the most

After you've calmed down a bit, he'll ask if you want to talk about it. He wants to know if there's a way to help you out with whatever situation you're in (of course no contracts are involved). If you don't want to talk about it, he's like Riddle in the sense he'll just try to switch your attention to something else. He'll try to make you something warm to drink since it's always helped him feel better. He won't leave your side no matter what though, so if he goes to the kitchen you'll be with him

Azul's actually not that bad with kind words since he's really good at talking to people. The issue is he's not sure if he's overdoing it or if he's helping you. The best thing he does is hug you because it's the right amount of pressure (he's really strong) and he tells you it's healthy to cry. "I'll be by your side, even through tears."

Kalim

He worries immediately when you can't be reached in like two hours of him looking for you. He almost goes to a different country because he's worried you might've been kidnapped (Jamil stops him from using his carpet). However, he does find you in the graveyard area of Ramshackle. Immediately, he runs over to you, shouting your name and with a big smile since he's relieved to see you, but that small drops when he sees you hiding your face and trying to stop yourself from making any sounds. You're crying.

At first he's lost, he thinks back to how Jamil used to cheer him up but has no idea how to replicate that since he's never really done it himself. I feel like Kalim might want to just ask you if you're fine and try to get you to cry it out at first but he knows that's probably not going to work. After standing there for a few seconds, he crouches down and tries to get you to look at him. If that doesn't work, he'll at least sit closer.

"H-hey, what's the matter? Are you okay?" he might seem clueless but I feel like he would be one of the best when it comes to comforting his s/o. He pulls you closer, tells you to cry it out and if it's cold outside he'll help you get back into the dorm. Will tell you variations of "it's alright, don't worry it's perfectly fine to cry" while patting your back. He doesn't let go of you until he feels your breathing come back to a calmer pattern.

He sits down with you, holding your hand and asking if you wanted to talk about it. He's a bit more pushy about it since he thinks it's much better to let it out than bundle it up, but if you don't want to then he'll understand and respect your decision. He tries to cheer you up by talking to you about something funny or turning on the tv to watch something while he gets some snacks from the kitchen. Tries to divert your attention away from whatever is stressing you out until you're ready to talk to him about it. If that never happens, that's fine too, he just wants to know what he can do to help. "Good food helps me feel better, want some?"

I think Kalim is misunderstood as someone who doesn't really know boundaries. True, he forgets about them from time to time, but when something's serious he'll take it extremely seriously, maybe even more seriously than anyone else in NRC. He wants you to know you can be safe with him, he would never judge you for crying. If you need anything, he's the type of person to drop everything and run over, no matter what time of the day it is.

Vil

He noticed you were more stressed than usual, but he didn't ask since he didn't want to overstep. However, you went missing one day and you weren't responding to his texts. He asked Rook if he saw you, and to Vil's surprise the hunter hadn't seen you in a few days. Vil low-key panics and also almost turns the whole school upside down looking for you.

He eventually finds you in the library in a quieter, less noticed section. At first, he coldly asks you what you are doing there late at night, not responding to him, and sitting on the floor. "Do you know how worried I was?" He would ask but then he senses something's off, you aren't making any noises, it's like you're holding your breath. He's seen this before, perhaps something he used to do as a kid, but whatever it is he drops his usually cold aura and gets closer to you.

He's at a loss of words at first, not knowing if he'll be able to comfort you with anything he says. Vil will ask you if you want him to stay. If you want him to leave, he'll say he'll be outside of the library or if you want him to stay then he'll pull you closer. He's extremely gentle with you too, telling you to let it out and not to worry. It pains him to see you hurt, he'll let you bury your face in his uniform and just hold you. "Don't hold it in, it's fine, I'm here for you."

When you're a bit calmer, he won't immediately ask if you want to talk to him about it. Instead, he asks if you want to go back to his room and have some tea. The two of you might have a little bit of a self-care session along with it. While you two are having tea, he'll listen to you if you choose to talk about what was causing you to cry. Vil also assures you it's perfectly healthy to cry and he's teared up multiple times himself.

I feel like what scares people around Vil is his usually stoic, cold persona but when he's with you he's extremely gentle. He wants to be someone you can go to when you need help. He's had to bottle up feelings so many times, but he doesn't want you to go through the same things. If anything, he would rather you express your emotions, tears or laughter.

Idia

Also someone who was super worried at first when you disappeared. He wondered if he creeped you out to the point where you left, but Ortho assured him that wouldn't happen. Idia runs over to Ramshackle to see if you're there, but he doesn't find you. That's where he starts to panic.

Eventually, he finds you in one of the towers of the school, a place where the stars are clear and no one would find you. "Y-y/n! I was looking for you everywhere I was so worried—" he runs over but notices you're crying but your holding it back. I feel like he would feel his heart skip a beat because the panic he's feeling doubles. Why are you crying? Did someone hurt you? Was it him? No, it wasn't time for him to worry about that, he had to make sure you were alright first.

He sits down next to you, taking one of your hands and asks if you're alright. You squeak out a little "don't worry about me" but he doesn't take it. He then pulls you into a tight hug and asks you to cry it out. It's always helped him to cry when he was stressed, though yes it wasn't with anyone around he wants you to know it's perfectly fine to cry in front of him. Hell, he might tear up a bit because he's just so worried about you.

After you (and maybe him too) calm down, he asks if you want to talk about it but doesn't pressure you. "We-we can go back and watch some movies? I have a few I wanted to watch with you," he might suggest, it's a way to divert your energy away from what is bothering you. When you two do go back to his dorm, you he'll bring a ton of blankets and the two of you can wrap yourselves in them. He'll have an arm around you, keeping you close.

He's not too confident with his own words, so he might not give out as much comforting words as others. However, he tries to show his care through his actions, either through the movies you two watch or keeping you close. He also lets you know it's better to let yourself cry and if you need anything he'll be there for you. He doesn't want to see you sad, he'll do whatever he can to help.

Malleus

The school probably saw a thunderstorm when he realized you weren't anywhere to be found that day. He tries to keep calm but there's just so much going on in his head — did you leave him without saying anything? You're the most important person to Malleus, and that's what causes him to react much larger than any of the other dorm leaders. He basically looks for you everywhere until he finds you in the woods.

He notices you crying, even if you try to hide it from him he's really good at reading people. "Y/n, is everything alright?" he ask, placing a hand on your shoulder. You're sitting on the grass with your head buried in your arms. He's seen this before with himself, he's tried to hide his tears before and it pains him to see you like this too.

Picking you up, he pulls you into his chest and tells you it's fine to cry. "You're safe with me, it's alright to cry do not worry." He hugs you tightly and doesn't let go of you until you calm down. He might kiss the top of your head a few times too while whispering to you it's going to be okay. While he might not be the best at words, he does his best to calm you down with what he's seen Lilia do with Silver, Sebek and Malleus himself

After you calm down, he might ask if you want to talk about it. If you do, he'll listen and continue to hold you close. If you don't want to talk about what's been bothering you, he'll respect that too. He'll also ask if you want to go back to Ramshackle since he doesn't want you catching a cold (he caused a thunderstorm and it was raining) or back to Diasomnia. Either way, he'll carry you back to either dorm. Until he sees you smile or at least show you're feeling much better, he won't leave your side.

Malleus cares deeply about you and will let you know it's much healthier to cry than to keep yourself from it. He wants you to feel safe with him and will drop everything and run over if you need his help, no matter how big or small the issue. You made him feel comforted first as a friend and now as a boyfriend, he wants to do the same to you.

[draconym]

Chag pesach sameach everyone, I am thirty six and I have just learned today that contrary to what I have always believed, it is not mandatory for all Jews to fast on the first day of Passover. This is partly because I am not a particularly observant Jew, but it is mostly due to the way my family handles conflict, which is to say: deception.

Let me explain.

I have two half siblings who are not Jewish, and who are about ten years older than I am. Throughout my childhood, my mother in particular was very inconsistent about referring to them as her children or as my siblings--it largely depended on her mood and whether she was fighting with my dad at the time (they were alternately "your half-siblings" or "your father's spawn").

This struck Young Me as very unfair (and frankly just mean) and I responded by referring to my brother and my sister only as My Siblings and correcting anyone who tried to call them Half Siblings, or who referred to me as an Only Child. If asked, I was the youngest child, and in no way an only child, and my siblings were whole, entire people.

Enter Ta'anit B'khorot, the Fast of the Firstborn. This is a custom in which firstborn children fast on the eve of Passover to commemorate not being killed by the tenth plague. That is to say, it is not customary for people who are not the firstborn to fast on erev Pesach.

Now, I spent most of my childhood in my Jewish grandparents' home. My mother generally left very early in the morning and came back late at night, often after I was asleep. So before the Seder, both my grandparents (each of them a firstborn child) and I would be home and all of us would be fasting together. Literally until this evening, I was under the distinct impression we were fasting because it was something that everyone did all day before the Seder. Because it was mandatory. For everyone.

And today I find out that it's not and it's because OF COURSE my wack-ass family would have gone out of their way to obscure the fact that this fast is for FIRSTBORN CHILDREN ONLY!!!

Yes, according to Halachic law, a child who is a firstborn to their mother but not their father does qualify as someone who should fast on erev Pesach. But you try explaining this to an eleven year old who has decided to die on the hill of not being their mother's only child.

No wonder I always felt like I was the hungriest person at every Passover Seder??? Probably half of the other people there had just been eating all day as normal???

I can't even be mad about my family for doing this because the drama of it all is too funny to me.

[brucewaynehater101]

As someone who is partly deaf, I love that deaf Tim stuff. But hear me out for something that could work for either of them. What if on complete accident when both the Bats and Rouges hear about Tim's disability, the Rouges are the ones who do a better job with not looking down on Tim. Yes they add things to help him, like for Deaf Tim Joker would also use ASL as he monologs to make sure that Tim can understand him or with Blind Tim Riddler makes puzzle rooms themed around telling the difference in textures or he reads all the riddles out loud.

Meanwhile the Bats are. They *tried* ok? But they keep over compensating because they worry about Tim. Unlike the Rouges who don't pull their punches, during training the Bats do start pulling punches and going a little easier on Tim. Dick keeps trying to do things for Tim that Tim knows he can do. Bruce keeps taking him off cases that involve in person investigation. Damian keeps saying things about how all tasks should be left to him because clearly he's the superior one (if it's early Damian, later on when they're on better terms he wouldn't be as assholish about it but also keeps trying to take over tasks for Tim)

I'm really really glad that you vibed with the AU.

As far as your additions, I 100% agree. Having "good intentions" for people can still be harmful and frustrating. That's why, in these AUs, Tim tries to hide his disability until he's able to prove his efficiency. It's dealer's choice whether the Bats choose to acknowledge the evidence or are still doubting his capabilities.

I think the fic from the OG post has a scene where Babs, Cass, and Tim meet up to discuss the microaggressions they face from the Bats due to their respective disabilities. The sequel definitely has cute interactions between Damian and Tim. Damian refuses for anyone to treat his "rival" as weak or incapable. Peak siblings energy.

The funny part I find about this would be the Rogues accommodating Tim's disabilities just so they can defeat him. If Joker learned ASL for Tim, he'd probably research the hell out of how to look intimidating and scary while doing it (since, depending on Tim's hearing loss, Joker can't effectively utilize the vocal tone skills he's trained to be terrifying). Riddler would treat it as another puzzle and mental exercise (his Riddles would likely increase in accessibility for multiple disabilities as time progresses. He wants to challenge folks by their thinking abilities, not by their ability to test within the constraints placed on them. Perhaps, after his research and new implementations, he even starts targeting schools that unfairly places confines on their students [from both a socioeconomic standpoint and from improper accommodations]).

Anyways, I would love a fic that highlights some of the Bats' treatment of Tim and how not to interact with folks of different disabilities. Stuff like infantilizing, doing tasks for the person without permission, assuming what someone can handle, and disregarding them. It'd be cool to watch Tim try open communication (asking boundaries and what level of assistance the person desires) with all of them. For some, that's all that's needed. They have a clear guideline of "that shit was not okay" and the lines of communication are open for them to ask clarification in the future. For others, they listen to Tim, agree to change, and still pull that shit. I personally vote for Tim getting petty.

I feel like Babs and Cass would be the ones to understand the most that Tim can do anything he sets his mind to (he's so incredibly stubborn that he'd probably even be able to steal LexCorp from Luthor if he was motivated enough. He most likely even has plans already drawn for it ready to implement at any point). Duke would probably understand how others' perceptions of Tim affect him.

I also kill for Tim utilizing WE resources to bring aid and accommodations based on more specific audiences (such as how kids in the foster system, LGBT youth, and those with disabilities [both mental and physical] disportionately make up the homeless population).

I'm rambling a bit because sociology is a passion of mine. I'd get a higher education on the subject if I had the money.

Anyways, I love considering such perspectives in fanfiction. Let me know if there's other stuff I should add to this AU!

[cosmerelists]

Would Cosmere Characters Drive the Speed Limit?

You know, if cars and speed limits existed for them. (Potentially necessary context: I am a USAmerican)

For a different but hilarious take on Stormlight Characters driving, please check out this @saffronique post, which I spent forever looking for because I vaguely remembered someone else doing a driving post and wanted to make sure I hadn't copied them! Anyway it's funny; go read it: https://www.tumblr.com/saffronique/719947907049127936/was-just-struck-by-the-overwhelming-urge-to-rate?source=share

But now for a much more limited question: just, do they go the speed limit?

1. Nale: Yes but also no

As Mr. Beholden-to-All-Laws-of-the-Realm, Nale would of course drive exactly the speed limit! Except that he would also go immediately to the local jurisdiction, get deputized or whatever, and then obtain permission to speed all the time so as to Apprehend Criminals. So he'd actually be almost exclusively speeding but, like, legally.

2. Vivenna: Only at first

Vivenna does drive the speed limit when she first gets her license, because she wants to Follow the Law and be a Good Example for Siri. But, like, everyone is always so mad, and eventually she starts going just like 5 miles over the speed limit, which isn't even breaking the law, really. It's going with traffic! And then maybe 10 miles over, just occasionally 15 but only on a highway when it's safe! 

3. Siri: No

Like, going a bit faster is not a big deal, especially if all the other cars are doing the same thing. It's actually safer to go with the flow of traffic! 

4. Elend: Depends on who's in the car

Elend drives moderately above the speed limit like most people except if his dad is in the car and then he drives under the speed limit just to piss him off.

5. Vin: No

Vroom, vroom to be honest. Vin doesn't do things slow.

6. Dalinar: Yes

As a young man, Dalinar's speed demon ways led to the deaths of many people. So now he does drive the speed limit and insists that his sons do as well, whether they're in company cars or not.

7. Kelsier: No

Kelsier? Follow a law? I don't think so. He taught Vin to drive, you know.

8. Adolin: Not anymore

When his dad was really into Car Laws, Adolin did drive the speed limit per his dad's instructions. But he's since loosened up a bit. He figures he needs to find his own way to drive!

9. Shallan: No

Shallan drives the speed she needs to drive. Veil definitely drives the fastest, and Radiant is most likely to follow the speed limit. But on average...not so much.

10. Navani: No

Adolin can still remember being in the car with his aunt for the first time and being SHOCKED that she speeds. (In my head this is related to Adolin being shocked when he sees Navani wearing a glove rather than a full sleeve. This may not make sense to anyone else but it feels right to me).

11. Moash: No

Moash always wants to get to his destination as fast as possible. Also I just can't imagine him trying to follow the speed limit. 

12. Wax: Depends on the geographic location

Wax drives the speed limit in the Roughs but not in Polite Society (except in dense urban areas where he wishes to avoid, like, killing children).

13. Wayne: Does not have his driver's license

I feel this in my soul. 

14. Lirin: Yes

I think Lirin would argue that "getting to your destination thirty seconds faster is no reason to speed and put everyone else on the road in danger! Drive safe - arrive safe! That's what matters!" And then he would go exactly one mile under the speed limit at all times while everyone behind him honks. 

15. Kaladin: No

Kaladin spends three months driving very slowly after his dad shows him videos of horrific car crashes but eventually he just can't do it. He NEEDS to get there faster! People are DEPENDING on him! And he likes to feel the WIND in his HAIR as he cruises down the open highway! 

(Kaladin and his dad cannot drive together.)

[wilzy-woo]

Ikemen Vampire Suitors ideal type in my eyes 👀 (also sorry if it seems more aimed at girls I tried to make it GN 😭)

Starting off simple with everyone's favourite (or not) sugar daddy COMTE 😍

• Thinks confidence is really hot and he DEFINITELY likes a little bratty type

• Likes independence but LOVES it when they need help just so he gets to look all snug, he doesn't say anything (he might) but just looks at you with his smexy smirk

• Doesn't care much for looks but loves it when they get dressed up OR LIKE THE KIND OF BEFORE SHOWER MAKEUP

• I think that he NEEDS them to be honest like he would hate the "they told me not tell anyone..." Like he doesn't care he would want ALL OF IT spilt to him whether it's serious or not

Next is the love of my life (he wouldn't like me at all)

• He wants an extrovert. I don't care he NEEDS an extrovert. May think he doesn't but Ugh he just does

• Wants someone to stand up for him, he may be able to stand up for himself but he just really appreciates when someone would do that.

• Someone cleverrr I can't stress this enough he wouldn't be able to stand someone who isn't interested or knows a thing or two about science or anything for that matter. He WANTS the "erm actually" person

• Needs someone who loves snow. It's a weird thing but I can just see him loving a snowy date in his delusions

Pookie bear Vincent (am I the only one who isn't a fan of Vincents route? Like it was painfully slow 😔 I mean don't get me wrong I love him but I didn't feel very attached)

•Loves a sweet girl, needs someone to protect and love omg can you imagine someone timid meeting Vincent UGH IT WOULD BE SO CUTE

• Needs their love language to be physical touch, he just screams it

• Wouldn't mind someone bad at art so he could help them with it if they are interested but would PREFER someone who is good at it so they could do cute little dates together

• Wants a very Smiley person like someone who smiles or laughs at the stupidest thing, broken humour type of person

Now Theodore is different his route WAS SO GOOD I WAS LITERALLY SCREAMING THE WHOLE TIME even if it was a bit weird and k!nky at some points 🤨

(Why does this photo look massive)

• Chill anyways ALSO wants a bratty person, wants pretty much the opposite of Vincent he finds it such a turn on when they give him a dirty look or roll their eyes at him UGH

• I just know he likes a busty person (ass and chest for girlies) 😔 He seems like that type of person to nonchalantly slap their ass (honestly I'm not a huge fan of that but he would probably do it)

• Definitely likes the weird yappers, the ones who get distracted from one subject they were talking about and moved onto a completely different one

• Likes the observers! People who could just analyse someone easily based on the way they are sitting or talking

UGH MY HUSBAND (this might be biased towards me but I'll try 💔)

(this photo makes me do unspeakable things)

• Wants them to be independent but not TOO independent, he wants them to depend on him for things but also have that nice balance of independence

• Also loves yappers, he's the listening type so being able to listen to their voice for hours on end would be so good for him. He doesn't care what it's about just as long as he doesn't have to pitch in much he's fine with it

• LOVES when someone is indecisive and asks for HIS help with choosing something, knowing that you think he has the best decision making compared to the others is such an ego boost

• Loves someone who isn't afraid to share their opinions. Finds it such a turn on when their mouth is faster than their mind and just says stuff that doesn't even make sense

Arthur oh Arthur let down your hair...I'm not even sure if this is accurate I never finished his route I got bored halfway through 💀

•NEEDS someone humorous, CRAVES IT someone who can take a slightly rude joke and give him one back

• Needs someone with 100+ rizz...no seriously he would find it so funny if you went up to him and said some pick up line with that certain face

•Wants someone who would put him in his place when he does something wrong like overworking or doing something risky ass gambling 💀

• LOVES when their love language is acts of service, something simple like bringing him a coffee when he's writing and sitting down with him in silence, every now and then he'd ask you for ideas or something, just being helpful would make him fold.

• (EXTRA) would laugh if you failed your English GCSES

Mozzy Mosquito is that you 🤨 (I've never done his route so I have no bloody idea 💀)

•WOULD FOLD IF THEY COULD SING. Not like one of those strong voices or rapping NONONO he wants a Lana Del Rey, Alex G and the Florence type of singer , someone with a soft sleepy like voice! He would literally be in love

•CRAVES FOR CONFIDENCE he just thinks it's so attractive for someone to be confident. Like for them initiate conversation and WON'T BACK DOWN (even when he's being a bit of arsey introvert)

• Craves praise. Needs it. Needs someone who praises him and supports him all the way, someone who will get him out of music block by just being there to share ideas or sit there with him for hours telling him if it's good or bad

•Would prefer an introverted lover, he needs someone who is calm and collected and loves it if they come home from an outing and go straight to him groaning and ranting about how much they dislike people

I finished the first chapter of Jeans route I'm sorry if this is inaccurate I literally just go from what I saw of him from the other routes I've played (which isn't a lot ,😭)

•Though he's more of a listener he would also want a listener partner, to be able to sit there in comfortable silence in each others arms. However there will obviously be conversation it would be quiet and would last hours, something deep and personal to the both of them

• would love love love someone with soft slim hands. I don't know why he just seems like the type of person to be obsessed with those types of hands

• Needs someone patient and soft spoken, someone to be able to let his tough exterior break but by bit. A soft voice and reassurance looks like it would get him head over heels

I also haven't played Sebs route I'm sorry 😔

•Probably wants someone who is capable of doing what he's capable of, a helping hand and someone he can rely on without messing up

•Someone who wouldn't mind if he was busy a lot doing something for the mansion as he is the 24/7 working butler 😭 someone patient and doesn't mind sitting in silence just holding eachother after a long day

• Prefers an ambivert, definitely wants to be able to have balanced conversations where they can be bothered listener and talker

• that's all I can think of 😭

I'm going to leave it here and do the other six in another part 😭

[kupidachillea]

Nereid Achilles HCs (+ you)

🏺🐚In honour of MerMay that’s just around the corner- I’ve decided to yeet this at y’all. I know Achilles is already like half nereid or something but what if he was fully one? Plus what if he was courting you?🏺🐚

🏺-Nereid Achilles would probably act as he usually does, however I do think he’d be more calmer in some aspects.

🐚-Probably still the hotheaded, temperamental b@stard we all know but I match it up with how the sea itself acts. Can be calm and soothing or the things from nightmares.

🏺- There isn’t really a fixed ‘design’ on how a nereid would look but he’d still have his fiery golden hair and seafoam hazel eyes. You recognise them anywhere. His ears are pointed as expected and his teeth are sharp and more fang like.

🐚- His body is toned and a bit muscular too, probably from all that swimming he does and he has webbed fingers as well as pointed nails. He doesn’t exactly have scales but his skin does give off and iridescent shine to it as if to mimic the illusion of scales on parts of his body.

🏺- I’d like to think he would have those spine like fins on his back (I wish I knew what they were called), and have at least some form of bioluminescence on his body, whether it be freckles littering his body or on those fins on his back.

🐚- He keeps his hair long..sometimes it makes him look like a wet rat but sometimes it makes him look beautiful. There’s no in between.

🏺- Achilles loves hunting, anything that gets his adrenaline up. He loves the chase! From chasing food to chasing you .

🐚- If Achilles was courting you he’d probably be waiting by the shore each morning for you to show up. Nothing else catches his attention..he’s focused on waiting for you to show up.

🏺-When you do show up he’s ecstatic l a wide toothy grin on his face showing off his fangs while he smoothers you in a hug. Enjoying the feeling of your body heat while getting you soaked as well. If you get a little miffed from that he doesn’t mind. He finds it funny when you’re mad.

🐚- He often asks you to comb and braid his hair..for him it feels like a very intimate moment where you both could just chill and talk as the waves calm moves against the sand and over the rocks on the beach, he would talk about his day of swimming, hunting, and sparring while in turn listening to you and your day.

🏺- Achilles isn’t much of a ‘gift giver’ but for you, of course he is. He’d usually spend a good hour or so looking for something that would be a worthy treasure to grace his beloved with.

🐚- To your surprise he’d come back with strawberry top shells, conch shells, pearls- or on a special occasion- freaking Aquamarine. And he won’t take no for an answer so you have to take them.

🏺- When he’s not showering you with gifts he’s either being a sea pup or a lil brat sometimes- either way it just him showing how much he loves you by laying on top of you on warm sunny days and enjoying both the heat from the sun and you…he won’t let you go. I’m sorry.

🐚- On the odd occasion that he comes home with you he finds himself buried in your bed. Rolling up in a blanket like a little blanket burrito. His tail swishing slightly at the warm fabric and depending on the time when he comes over to your home..you’ll either be met with a wet blanket or a missing blanket (he has taken it with him.)

🏺- And don’t get me started on how jealous this man gets. Again..he’s not really a red flag..but..he has his moments. He doesn’t take kindly to people getting too friendly or touching with his darling. How he defines that? People talking to you for longer than 20 minutes when he’s around. In his mind- he should have all your attention. No one else.

🐚- He makes the expectation for Patroclus because he’s his therapon and friend, but like..anyone other than anyone he knows..it’s a big no no if it goes past the 20 minute and a half mark. You might want to set a few boundaries.

🏺- One odd thing he likes doing is poking your belly…why? You don’t know. He just loves to do it. Poking it and stroking it…resting his head on your belly and staring up at you with those sea foam hazel siren eyes. If you ask him why he’ll just tell you one thing. “You’re soft and I like that..”, probably due to the fact his body is a little bit more on the firmer side of things.

🪷🍵 Please consider liking, commenting and rebloging if you enjoyed it🍵🪷

[the-angels-share]

In which Xiao gets the childhood he deserves. A Grandpa Zhongli and Xiao adventure.

Out of all the seasons, Xiao loves summer the best. Not only does he get to stay up an hour later than usual, he gets to do things he normally couldn’t the rest of the year. For example, during summer, Xiao gets to sleep in as late as 10 in morning. He can go to the beach and eat ice cream and build sandcastles without worrying about homework. He can watch TV and play outside for as long as he likes, as long as he gets inside the house by twilight. Most importantly, he gets to stay in Grandpa's house for a whole month.

Xiao's Grandpa is Zhongli. Zhongli is the Geo Archon. That means Xiao's Grandpa is the coolest, most awesome being to ever walk the planet. And Xiao gets to spend thirty (30) days with him. Just him and his Grandpa.

No one else in all of Liyue gets to experience that.

Xiao has spent a total of two days in his Grandpa’s house when he receives his first mission as a Guardian Yaksha.

The mission? Make a new friend. Location: The children’s park.

Xiao’s not gonna lie. He did not expect such a daunting task for his first ever mission. However, if there is one thing that Xiao has learned in his eight years of life, it’s that adepti assignments are to be accepted and seen to completion, whether they are given in Rex Lapis’ office or at the breakfast table over a plate of brown rice and grilled fish.

Which is how Xiao finds himself in the park two hours later, clutching his Grandpa’s slacks like his life depended on it.

Don’t misunderstand, though. Xiao is a brave boy. But sometimes, even brave boys get scared too. He’d much rather stay beside his Grandpa, where he can cling to his leg and be safe from the curious glances of the strange mortals in the sandbox.

“Don’t forget your weapon.”

Ah, yes, his weapon. Xiao wanted to bring one of his Grandpa’s many polearms, but Zhongli told him that the Primordial Jade Winged Spear is simply too long, too heavy, and too sharp for eight-year old boys to carry, even if they were adepti. So, he gave Xiao a jumbo bubble wand instead.

“Go on,” Zhongli tells him once Xiao finally let go of his leg. "Remember the plan."

Right, the plan. Xiao racks his brain for the battle strategy he made with Rex Lapis himself on their way here. Look for your target, wait for an opening, and when you’re ready, engage.

And so, Xiao does exactly that. Tightening his hold on the bubble wand, he takes a step forward and scans his surroundings. There, by the swings, stood two blonde kids around his age, blowing bubbles with their own soapy weapons. Target sighted.

Now for the rest of the plan.

Xiao turns to Zhongli. "Don't leave, okay?"

His Grandpa smiles and pats his head. "I'll be at the bench if you need me."

Xiao nods and walks ahead. Well, here goes nothing.

.

.

.

Ninety minutes later, Xiao goes home with two brand new friends, a play date plan for next week, and a gold coin for a job well done on his first ever mission as one of Liyue's Guardian Yaksha.

As Geo Archon and oldest of The Seven, it is only expected that Xiao’s Grandpa would keep a lot of treasures in his house. And, well, Xiao’s not claiming to be a treasure expert, but you know what they say.

Where there’s treasure, there’s a guardian.

That’s where Azhdy comes in.

Of all the odd things in the Geo Archon’s house, the most peculiar one is Zhongli’s pet, Azhdaha.

Xiao is not sure exactly what kind of animal Azhdaha is. His Grandpa says Azhdy is a dragon, but he looks more like a dog to Xiao. Either way, Xiao thinks Azhdy is the coolest, most awesome pet ever. (Even if his name is a little hard to spell).

Some people think Azhdy is scary, but really, he’s just a clumsy creature who’s a little too spiky and excitable. It’s true! Azhdy has funny eyes that look in opposite directions. He can’t see very well, and that’s why he always bumps into walls or people. But that’s okay, because it doesn't matter where Xiao is in the house—when Xiao says, "Azhdy, come here", the sound of heavy paws on hardwood floor will reverberate in the whole house, becoming louder and louder the closer he gets.

The sight of Azhdy running towards him never fails to make Xiao smile. Which is why he doesn’t understand why most people look just about ready to call the Millelith whenever Azhdy pounces on his little body to give him wet dog kisses.

There are days that hold a special place in Xiao's heart. For him, that day is Thursday. It's not because of any particular event or tradition. No, it's because Thursdays mean one thing: spending the most time with his super-duper amazing Grandpa.

For some reason, Thursdays seem to be the day when Zhongli spends the most time at home, away from his duties as the Geo Archon. And for Xiao, that means having his Grandpa all to himself for the day.

As the evening draws near on Thursdays, Xiao eagerly awaits the highlight of his day: bedtime. Not because it means the end of the day, but because it's the time when Zhongli sits by his bedside, tucking him in with gentle hands, a warm smile, and a pat on the head. Sometimes, Azhdy joins them too.

In those quiet moments, the world outside fades away, and it's just Xiao and Zhongli, and sometimes, Azhdy. While Zhongli spins tales of dragons, warriors, and dumplings, Xiao finds out very quickly that the crinkling of old book pages and Zhongli’s smooth baritone are much more effective sleep aides than the bedtime story itself.

Xiao never knows when he dozes off, if his Grandpa ever finishes his story before he starts dreaming. But every time, he wakes up with Zhongli and Azhdaha gone, replaced by the comforting scent of tea and breakfast in the air. It feels like a warm embrace, like he's loved and safe with Zhongli and Azhdy nearby.

Those Thursday nights (and Friday mornings) are the best.

The big building on Wangshu Street, Xiao learns, is called Wangshu Inn. Inn spelled with two (2) Ns. It means hotel, Grandpa Zhongli tells him one day.

Sometimes, when Xiao has been exceptionally good and Grandpa Zhongli feels particularly nice, they go to Wangshu Inn for a bowl of almond tofu. Xiao loves almond tofu, especially the almond tofu from Wangshu Inn.

How Xiao came to like the sweet treat is actually a funny story.

When Xiao was five, he got lost. It was Lantern Rite and he and his Grandpa were out and about on one of their holiday afternoon walks. Captivated by the vibrant sights and sounds around him, Xiao had wandered off and couldn't find his way back to where his Grandpa was.

Of course, being an adeptus, Xiao hadn't been scared. (He was terrified.) Like a brave and dependable Guardian Yaksha, he took it upon himself to look for the correct way home. (Xiao wandered aimlessly, tears welling up in his eyes.) And just as the day began to turn into night, a calming presence had enveloped him. It was Zhongli, his Grandpa!

He had found him amidst the crowd.

Xiao remembers his Grandpa picking him up from under his arms and rubbing his back to soothe him. Then, he brought them both to Wangshu Inn where they shared a bowl of almond tofu.

"You're okay now," his Grandpa had said. Xiao doesn't remember being not okay, so his Grandpa must have been talking to himself. He must've been super scared when he turned and found Xiao missing! He guesses even cool, strong, Geo Archons like his Grandpa get scared too sometimes. (So, maybe it's okay to say that he felt a little bit scared too when he couldn't see Zhongli anymore back in the harbour.)

Xiao doesn’t remember much of that day, but he does feel a surge of warmth and comfort with every spoonful of the soft sweet treat.

In the neighborhood where his Grandpa lives, there's a girl named Hu Tao. She's a bundle of energy, always running around with a mischievous twinkle in her eye. Hu Tao is Xiao's... not-friend friend, but whenever they meet, she's full of jokes and stories she's read from whatever book she was devouring that week.

She's smart, just like Grandpa Zhongli. She reads those big heavy books he sometimes sees his Grandpa read on quiet afternoons at the den. She says big, hard to say words, like quick sonic (quixotic) and disk consulate (disconsolate). Sometimes, she recites poems with rhymes and more words Xiao doesn't quite understand. It's okay, though, because when she does, she smiles, and when she smiles, Xiao smiles too.

Hu Tao has a pet bunny named Boo Tao. Boo Tao is a fluffy little creature, but too small to play with Azhdaha, so they settle for sitting together in the grass, sniffing flowers and watching the world go by.

Xiao thinks Hu Tao is pretty. He's not quite sure what "pretty" here means, but whenever she laughs, it feels like sunshine breaking through the clouds.

Sometimes, when the sky is gloomy, Grandpa Zhongli takes Xiao to the cemetery.

Xiao’s only seen pictures of Granny Guizhong but with all the stories that Grandpa has told Xiao about her, it’s as if he’s met her too.

He makes sure to water the Qinxin flowers Grandpa keeps on Granny's grave. He'll take care of the flowers so Granny does not get sad.

Next time, he'll add Glaze Lilies too.

Amidst the hustle and bustle, Xiao's hand finds Zhongli's, his small fingers entwining with his grandpa's sturdy grip. His Grandpa smiles down at him, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "Shall we see what the harbor has in store for us today, Xiao?"

Xiao nods. He'd be a dummy to say no to Rex Lapis. With a gentle lift, his Grandpa scoops Xiao up into his arms, granting him a bird's-eye view of the lively street below. From this vantage point, Xiao marvels at the vibrant tapestry unfolding before him—the dancers twirling in graceful arcs, the acrobats defying gravity with breathtaking stunts, and the musicians serenading passersby with their melodious tunes.

He thinks he can see Hu Tao and the twins there too.

As the end of summer draws near, the yard of Grandpa's house becomes a haven for crystalflies. Amidst the delicate dance of these enchanted creatures, Xiao clings tightly to Zhongli, his small form nestled in the safety of his Grandpa's embrace.

With each passing moment, the inevitability of parting weighs heavy on Xiao's heart. As his parents arrive to take him home, Xiao buries his face in the crook of Zhongli’s neck, unwilling to let go of the warmth and comfort he finds there. The air is filled with the soft whispers of crystalflies bidding farewell to the departing summer, echoing the bittersweet emotions swirling within Xiao's heart.

Summer has passed, and before Xiao knows it, it's summer again. Out of all the seasons, Xiao loves summer the best. Not only does he get to stay up an hour later than usual, he gets to do things he normally couldn’t the rest of the year. For example, during summer, Xiao can go out on walks with Azhdy while the citizens of Liyue look on with amazement at his very big, very cute pet. He can sit by the park and see if a girl with long pigtails and pretty eyes happens to pass by. Most importantly, he gets to stay in Grandpa's house for a whole month.

Xiao's Grandpa is Zhongli. Zhongli is the Geo Archon. And Xiao's most favorite thing in the whole entire world is him.

[turtlecleric]

(re: the tags of your rb of that "sitting here. unkissed." textpost) can you tell us how you think they would react to you saying that? :3

Lucky you nonnie, I couldn't sleep and was able to work on this while I waited for my alarm to go off

For full context:

Dearest @yorshie tackled this with the Bayverse boys. Highly recommend reading that. I'll take a swing at the Rise boys, though I do think their reactions would heavily depend on their mood at the time, what the two of you are doing, whether other people are around, etc. I'm imagining you on the couch in the lair, with your boy sitting nearby. Also. Don't expect much, I got about 5 hours of sleep lol

Leo

As soon as you say it he's whipping his head in your direction. A little surprised, a little excited, and a lot soft - because sometimes he feels like he's too much. Sometimes he gets that little voice in the back of his head saying that you're going to get tired of him, that you'll start to find him annoying, that he's too much, too much, always too much. But here you are. Asking him - in your silly dramatic way that he loves - for his attention. So he moves to kiss you, smiling the entire time, heart so full it feels like it might burst, and when he pulls back and you smile back at him, that voice in his head is a little quieter. (It feels inevitable to me that he eventually ends up on top of you, kissing you stupid, hands eagerly roaming all over. When he smells your arousal, he's quick to suggest that you move this into his bedroom.)

Raph

I like to imagine that Raph is a little shy in front of other people. If his brothers are in the room, I could see him blushing furiously and giving you a quick peck (if anyone says anything to tease him, he'd get really defensive and it would be ADORABLE). If Splinter is around he'd give you a look of alarm - babe PLEASE my dad is RIGHT THERE. But if you're alone... he'd smile and scoop you into his arms (picking you up like it's nothing) and kiss you sweetly. If things start to get heated, he'll stop. If you whine about it, he'll timidly suggest going to his room. (And once you're truly in private he'll let himself get lost in the feeling of your lips on his. Letting you decide the pace, letting you lead, but enthusiastically giving you whatever you want.)

Donnie

"Mm. A tragedy, really. You have my pity."

When you whine his name he finally looks at you and smirks. Reaches for you and pulls you into his lap, studies your expression closely. Holds your chin and leans in to kiss you slowly, deeply. When he pulls back, seeing you flushed and a little dazed, his smirk widens.

"Better?"

You nod, and he hums. The smirk falls as he stares at your lips, and you can't help but squeak when suddenly he's carrying you to the lab. When he sits you on a table and tells Shelldon not to let anyone in, your heart does something funny in your chest. He's standing between your legs, staring, staring, staring while the lab goes into lockdown.

"Donnie, I-"

That's all you can say before he dives back in. Kissing you like he's starving for it as his hands grip your waist, your thighs. You're already wet when he pulls your pants and underwear off and kneels between your legs. When he slips his tongue inside of you and you whimper, you swear you can feel him smirking again.

Mikey

He gasps dramatically, absolutely BEAMING, and jumps on you. Presses his forehead against yours, and says, "I can fix that." Kisses you once, twice, three times on the lips. Then moves to your neck, making you giggle as he presses more quick kisses to your skin and nuzzles into you. Depending on how you react, he might just pull you into his lap to snuggle, randomly kissing the top of your head or your nose and making you giggle. Or. He might get a mischievous grin and ask if there's anything else you'd like him to fix.

[misc-obeyme]

Tbh CC, I don't think MC is still in love with the brothers after everything that's happened,,, thinking about it, it feels more and more like MC is just putting up with the brothers and taking care of them rather than loving them

Imagine MC admitting their love for the brothers died a long time ago and now they're just here to keep things in check, what do you think would happen?

Oh hey Lucifer, bringing me the angst today I see! Ouchies!

I think it probably depends on the MC involved. Generic OM MC is highly tolerant, slightly crazy, and somehow insanely resilient. They've definitely been through a lot and I think it's interesting to note that they have never once had any kind of emotional breakdown. They've had little outbursts here and there, but that's about it.

I think part of this is due to the story format. We've got a situation where MC is a character that doesn't say or do much. They're very reactionary in general.

But if we consider how this same story might go if it was a specific MC, one who was a fully fleshed out character, things can change dramatically. And there is absolutely a chance that MC could fall out of love with the brothers or even not fall in love with them to begin with.

It's kinda funny because I have a preference for the side characters in general and I think it's because they don't need MC to take care of them. The brothers are all very demanding and don't like when MC isn't with them all the time. But the side characters have their own stuff going on and are independent. They're all still hopelessly in love with MC, but they don't rely on MC the same way the brothers do.

But let's consider the scenario where one day MC has reached their limit. They don't explode or anything, but they quietly admit that their love has died and they only stick around out of obligation.

The thing about this is that I think all the brothers would have picked up on it before this moment, but some of them wouldn't know what was happening and others would. For instance, I see Lucifer and Asmo just sorta being like yeah we expected this. Whereas Mammon and Levi would be like okay we knew something was up, but we didn't think it was this!

I think at that point, the brothers would do all they could to change things. They can all be idiots and they get carried away and often cause MC more stress than anything. But I think if they knew how MC felt, that they were feeling this way, they would try to change.

It might not work. These demons are old and old people are often set in their ways. It might be hard for them to change. Then again, they were also created to live as long as they do, so perhaps they're better at adapting than humans are. Maybe they would find it isn't so hard for them to make the changes they need to in order to have MC be more comfortable again.

The problem is that even if they succeed in changing their behaviors, that doesn't mean MC will love them again. No matter what the brothers do, MC won't be able to make themselves love again. It's not impossible, but it's not something that's predictable, either.

I think part of the solution would be MC spending time away from them. Whether that's staying in the Devildom, but living somewhere else such as the castle or Purgatory Hall or going back to the human world, I think it would require some time apart.

I think a lot of times people fall out of love because they change in different directions. So if MC has changed, but the brothers haven't, that could be the cause. It could be that MC and the brothers have both changed, but differently enough that they no longer have that same chemistry from before. And sometimes you just can't fix it.

MC would have to make their choice at that point. If they all spent some time apart, then the brothers actively tried to change, but MC still finds that they aren't in love with them anymore, then MC has to decide. They have to decide if it's worth spending the rest of their life taking care of a bunch of demons who have already managed to survive a long time without them and who will likely live on far after they're gone. If MC is still mortal, they may decide they don't have time for that. Maybe they'll permanently move in to the castle or Purgatory Hall. I think that has a lot of angst potential because they'd still see the brothers a lot, but it'd be like there go my seven exes lol.

Ahhh it's such a sad scenario! And there are a lot of ways it could go, depending on the MC involved. My MC is more likely to lose their shit way before it ever got to this point so I can't even imagine it with them lol. But a quieter MC who feels the responsibility of being everything the demons expect them to be might certainly stick around long enough.

Anyway, this is getting lengthy, but I think it'd be a difficult time for all if this happened. The brothers might try to fix things, but I think in the end everybody would want MC to make the right choice for themselves.

[blackdragoness]

PICK-A-CARD READING

IF YOU WERE A DRUG, WHAT DRUG WOULD YOU BE?

WHY DO PEOPLE BECOME “ADDICTED” TO YOUR ENERGY?

Do you give off ALCOHOLIC vibes, CRACKHEAD energy, OR STONER vibes?

**THIS IS PURELY FOR ENTERTAINMENT** I am not calling any of you addicts. Its just a game to have fun so just enjoy it for what it is: ENTERTAINMENT. I am not a professional and the advice given is based off my own personal experience with these addictions. I share what helped me free myself from these vices but I strongly recommend speaking with a professional that can help you better. Without further ado....

LESSSKOOOO

PICK A CARD:

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PILE 1: ACE OF HEARTS

If you chose pile 1, the vice that best describes your personality is:

***STONER***

**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you smoke alot of pot, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I dont care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but at the same time, it’s your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****

Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:

Laid-back, chill AF – almost too laid back it can sometimes be mistaken for laziness – but at the same time, a lot of you reading this probably are lazy and already know that. Its not a roast, I’m just affirming what you already know LOL. Big couch potato energy. Very laxed. As contradictory as it sounds, this is actually why people become addicted to your energy. There isn’t a lot of people who have the chill factor that you have and being around you is like a break from the hustle and bustle of life.

The cool kid – the IT Boy/Girl. Everything you do is effortless

Iconic – does your own thing & known for not following the crowd

You guys have a mind of your own!

Unbothered – it is very hard to ruffle your feathers or get a reaction out of you. It is both an admirable and irritable trait depending on who you’re talking to. If not, you may just react to things very slowly and may find yourself hot and bothered after the fact

Very easy going and easy to talk to – you can chop it up with almost all personalities because you are very relatable and relaxed.

CLASS CLOWN VIBES - you may not take things too seriously and can find humor in anything! You say some funny shit man, and you aren’t even trying to be funny.

EFFORTLESS COMEDIAN.

Very witty and intelligent

You can hold a conversation with a variety of people. Whether its small talk or deep intellectual conversations.

People remember you for the conversations that they have with you and the energy that you bring to the conversation. You may not even realize the effect your words or energy have on people but it lingers on their mind and energy long after you have gone away. All a person needs is one “hit” of your energy.

Might be apart of the “woke” culture or many people would describe you as being “woke”

May be labeled an overthinker, borderline paranoid but also a very critical thinker. You may think about things that most people don’t think about. It may shock others how much you know about a variety of topics  

Very grounded and rooted in whatever it is that you do.

Natural beauties and very natural bodies.

“LOVE CHILD”

Hippy vibes

You have a reputation for always being in a good mood and always being happy for no reason. Its very rare that you are in a bad mood. It doesn’t mean that you don’t have those days. You just know how to guard your emotions and only let a small number of trusted people see your vulnerable side.

Y’all are A VIBE. Periodt. Point. Blank.

You can vibe with a crowd AND you can vibe all on your own. You could be both introverted and extroverted depending on your mood. Sometimes you might be in a corner on your own doing your own thing, other times you’re mingling with a variety of different people. Just depends on your mood.

You probably have lots of conversations with your self all the time. People might think you’re a little weird for that but you might find it funny

Very unique and one of a kind

You might have your own distinct smell. Maybe you have a certain perfume/cologne that you use all the time that people know you for. OR maybe you just stink and smell like body odor. It can be either one of those two extremes LOL (Smokers LOVE the smell of weed, nonsmokers tend to strongly DESPISE the smell of weed so it goes both ways. Don’t shoot the messenger HAHA)

May have a love for music or be very musically inclined

Lyricist, journalist, writer/author - may be very good at articulating your thoughts and emotions but you may mumble or speak softly.

Every moment with you is a HIGH moment – by “high”, I mean when people see you, even if the interaction is short, its most often the HIGHlight of peoples day.

Everyones BUDdy

Wall FLOWER vibes

May be looked at as slightly ditzy

ADVICE:

Tap into your creativity more. This pile has the creative abilities, if improved and mastered, can be monetized on greatly.

Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there and to stand out.

If you struggle with overthinking, it means you aren’t taking enough action. Start moving and putting your amazing thoughts into action so you can manifest the life you dream about all the time. Mistakes are inevitable and part of the growing process so don’t be afraid to make mistakes or make a fool out of yourself. That’s how you learn. The longer you sit on your ideas, the easier it is for doubtful thoughts to creep in which in turn will stop you from taking any type of action. It is time to take action and slow down the voices in your head telling you that you aren’t enough.

Believe in yourself more and learn to love yourself for all your flaws. Your biggest critic and your biggest competition should always be yourself so build yourself up more. Quit the negative self talk. Critique yourself towards improvement but not to the point of giving up. You’re more than you give yourself credit for.

Be more comfortable speaking your mind in the moment instead of bottling everything up all the time. You only end up beating yourself up in the end and it slows down your progress.

If you are addicted to the drug, my advice is to take a break from it for a bit so you can start being active again in your own life. You don't have to quit cold turkey. Take it one day at a time but the wheels will start moving for you soon as you make that change. Too much of anything, even if it's good for you, can eventually start to work against you. But it's your life. If you can find that balance while still keeping it in your life, more power to ya! 😊

CHANNELED SONG:

MOVING ABOUT MY WAYS by Josh Wawa White

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PILE 2: ACE OF CLUBS

If you chose pile 2, the vice that best describes your personality is:

***ALCOHOLIC***

**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you drink a lot of alcohol, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I don’t care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but at the same time, it’s your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****

Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:

BIG GOOFBALL ENERGYYYY

Very energetic and MAFANA (pronounced “mah-fah-nah” meaning “heated” in the Tongan language). You might always be MAFANA and ready to do anything at any moment. Also you might literally be MAFANA in body temperature. Might have a warmer body temperature or may always be hot even in colder temperatures. May enjoy very hot showers as well.

Extremely physically attractive. Sexy and sultry type of aesthetic

Very seductive mannerisms and voice

Very spontaneous and slightly chaotic

You might speak in slang a lot – doesn’t matter the slang, but you have your own way of speaking

People would probably describe you as being very bold and confident. You aren’t afraid to say what’s on your mind and you don’t care who hears.

True to yourself

Very genuine and authentic in all your interactions

You’re probably sociable and outgoing

Extremely outgoing – very rarely are you ever alone. You always have a crowd of people surrounding you or with you.

You have your own unique sense of style and fashion taste. People know and recognize you for your fashion sense. It’s just very……YOU.

Brutally honest but honest nonetheless – people may avoid you because of how honest you can be. But people know when they really need an honest opinion, you are the first person to come to mind.

People may describe you as having multiple personalities. It can be both a good thing or a bad thing depending on who you are talking to. One things for sure, getting to know you is NEVER a bore.

Never a dull moment when you are around

LIFE OF THE PARTY

You are the person everyone hopes to see at an event or a party because they know it will be a fun time if you are around.

Very confident – ALPHA vibes – BOSS energy

You may be everyone’s “go-to” person when they need to vent or get things off their chest. Interacting with you is like a glass of wine at the end of a really rough day. If it was a really tough day, you’re more like 3 shots of Henney instead of wine, lets be honest.

You have a “numbing” effect on people – interacting with you is like nothing else matters but the present moment. You’re a very rare type of person

You are the person to impress! Every room you walk into and every person you interact with, you are the center of attention & people will do anything to get your attention praise, & validation.

Not only are you the person to impress, you are also a very impressive person. You impress through your looks, your skills, your intellect, etc – ALL AROUND impressive

You are very expressive, blunt, and outspoken. You say whatever is at the top of your mind and react to everything based off of your emotions in the moment.

May at times be very moody

Night owls

Kareoke King/Queen

Shameless

No one ever knows what to expect with you. You keep everyone on their toes

Maybe a bit clumsy and silly but thats why people love your energy. Its giving "overgrown child" vibes and its refreshing.

You help heal alot of peoples inner child just by being yourself. You bring that young vibe to any occasion.

ADVICE:

Take more time for yourself and away from the noise and the audience. I sense that you don’t enjoy being alone because that is when the dark thoughts creep in. Maybe you dislike feeling lonely. Get more comfortable with being on your own and in your own energy. Sort out those dark thoughts. Try to figure out where the darkness originated from and learn to heal it. It will improve your social interactions greatly.

Learn to enjoy silence. A lot of positive ideas, peace, and self discovery can be found in the silence.

Your greatest strength is your outspokenness. However, by remaining silent, you can avoid a lot of regret for yourself. You can also learn a lot about others simply by listening and remaining silent. Stay outspoken, but add silence into your personality every now and then to bring more balance to your character

SLOW DOWN - in all areas! Speak slower, walk slower, think slower, react slower, develop relationships slower, etc. You may start many things very quickly and burn out just as fast. Learn to pace yourself and develop your mental/physical stamina

If you are addicted to the alcohol, my advice would be to find a healthier hobby to substitute that vice. Exercise helps with regulating your emotions as well as a healthy eating plan. Get more sleep and start journaling. Having an outlet to really pour out your emotions will keep you from pouring another cup. Take it one day at a time, but the wheels will start rolling for you once you make that change. But it's your life, do as you please! If you can find that balance in your life, more power to ya!

CHANNELED SONGS: ALCOHOLIC by COMMON KINGS

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PILE 3: ACE OF DIAMONDS

If you chose pile 1, the vice that best describes your personality is:

***CRACKHEAD***

**** DISCLAIMER: I am not insinuating that you’re a meth/coke head, even if that's true haha. I am not your doctor, pastor, therapist, parent, sibling, boss, the police, your parole officer, NONE OF THAT. So I dont care what you do on your own time. I am not condoning those actions either but its your life and you can do whatever you want with it.****

Regardless of your personal choices, this is what it says about your personality:

The most energetic of all the piles

CEO/Supervisor energy

Very focused and determined to accomplish anything you set your mind to. You are willing to start things over as many times as you need until you get it right.

You may have an addictive personality but also others may find your personality very addicting as well. Once someone has tasted your energy, its very hard to shake you.

People may become very obsessed with you. You circle peoples minds multiple times a day. They just cant figure you out. You may also be very obsessive and possessive yourself.

FOCUSED. FOCUSED. FOCUSED, Extremely focused individuals. Your focus is probably your most admirable trait.

As focused as you are, you are also probably a very great multitasker

Entrepreneurs or entrepreneurs in the making. You may be very business minded

You are usually always 10 steps ahead of the game. You see all sides and make very calculated moves based off of your observations.

Very observant individuals. You probably notice and remember the tiniest details about people and you know how to make people feel really special in every interaction with you. People don’t expect you to remember certain things they’ve mentioned or worn, but when you bring it up to them long after the fact, you really make people feel SEEN & HEARD. This makes you more trustworthy in their eyes.

May be accused of being narcissistic but that’s not necessarily a bad thing. You may have been a victim to narcissistic abuse in the past so you’ve learned the ins and outs of all the mind games being played. So when someone uses a mind game on you, you flip it back on them and then they have the audacity to call YOU the narcissist. It has become your tool for self defense but also agitates those on the receiving end of your narcissism. To put it into perspective, most super heros and world leaders are narcissistic because they need to be. If not, they would get chewed up and spit out by the world and wouldn’t last a day in their position. If they wanna call you a narcissist because you refuse to adopt their mindset or their perspective, then so be it! Accept the title and keep it pushing. Remain true to yourself.

Very self-reliant and reliable. You conquer every task and assignment thrown at you and you do an amazing job at it in a very time efficient manner. People may try to discredit you or say you couldn’t have done it all by yourself but the proof is in the pudding darling. In reality, these folks are just projecting their own insecurities on to you because we all know, if they were in your position, there is no way they could have done that on their own. No one can deny your workmanship because you prove it time and time again.

Lone wolf vibes. You may not have many friends or you may not be open to inviting new people into your circle. “NO NEW FRIENDS” vibes

You probably have a sturdy set of friends and you’ve known them for a long time.

Very secretive and private. You may enjoy your privacy and may tend to keep a lot of your life hidden from the public eye.

Very protective of your energy and your space.

May have a lot of people who constantly have an opinion on your life. You do a great job at blocking them and their noise out of the way and continuing to push along.

STRONG STAMINA – yall can last for a lonnnngggg time (however you interpret that LOL)

Great debater – if someone wants to come at you sideways, they better come prepared with their arguments because going against you isn’t easy. You know yourself, you know your facts and you know what happened. Barely nothing gets past you.

Out of all the piles, this pile has the most haters. I don’t know why and neither do you. You must be someone of significance to have this many haters. You represent PRESSURE and people feel that energy as soon as you walk into the room. This is a compliment for you but a threat to your haters. No one wants to feel pressured to improve. You don’t try to apply pressure. You just ARE pressure.

You cant be tamed. Very hard to lock down and hard to pin down.

Unbeatable

Invincible

Immunity

Misjudged and misunderstood but never stops remaining true to yourself. Let the haters do their thing but keep doing you booboo.

Diamond in the rough

Might wear a lot of jewelry or you should wear more jewelry but this is something people notice about you. Maybe you have tons of jewelry or you have a piece of jewelry that people remember you for. If not, I suggest wearing more jewelry because it looks great on you.

ADVICE

Learn to handle the pressure that comes your way. You attract what you put out there and unfortunately, this is one of those things that is out of your control. People feel pressured when you are around therefore, you may feel as though pressure is constantly being applied to you. Don’t sweat it. These experiences are to show you how strong your character truly is but you must remain true to who you are if you want it to work in your favor.

Its okay to be more open and available to others. You can still maintain your strong boundaries but you don’t have to shut the entire world out. Remain open!

Keeping an open mind may also be helpful for you. Not everything will play out the way you envisioned it in your brain so keep an open mind so you can solve your problems as they arise.

Take some time to relax. You give off very strong workaholic vibes and sometimes you can overwork yourself to exhaustion. Give your body the rest it needs through sleep. Remember to eat throughout the day and fill your body up with the nutrients it needs to keep you going and alert for your various tasks. Go outside and enjoy the outdoors. Take time to care for yourself.

 Learn to lighten up a little. Your laser focus can sometimes make you too serious to be around. Laugh a little. Smile more. Let loose. Enjoy the life in front of you. Balance out your work and play and you’ll find your life is more enjoyable that way.

If you are addicted to the drug, my advice would be to invest in yourself more. You won't have the money to spend on drugs if you throw your money into something that will benefit you more in the long run. Take a class to build on a skill you already have, sign up for a committee, give yourself responsibility and bring purpose back into your life. But start small. Learn to depend on yourself and hold yourself up before trying to overextend yourself for others. Too much responsibility is probably what got you to this point or maybe it was the lack thereof. Whatever the case be, you need to love on yourself more & know that you are more than enough. The wheels will start moving for you once you make that change and the clarity that follows will bring you immense joy.

CHANNELED SONG: WINNAH WINNAH by RIA ft SPAWNBREEZIE