#destructive confessions

[artaintfartwarriors]

Sleekwhisker design pls (my apologies if it is already done since my Tumblr search is glitchy).

Oooooh fun! Idk how I haven’t done her yet!

[im-jesus]

Please don't kill yourself x 🫂

please read this poem before reading the rest of this post:

the point of me sharing this is that I want to die on a high note, and I can't do that yet. I've never kissed a boy. I've never had a cigarette. I've never had my heart broken. I've never fallen in love. I've never danced with someone in the rain. I've never met my best friends in person. I've never lived. I want to live before I die. so I'll stay alive. because to die, I have to be alive. I'm not alive yet. Never have been.

But I will be.

[moonshynecybin]

you had a fantasy au forever ago… how does marc find out vale loves him

i for one. always believe rosquez is just as horny as it is tortured and just as stupid as it is horny. i think it’s this fraught thing where after a LONG saga of trying to keep marc safe and worrying about him (marc is captain of the guard/general!!! it’s his whole job to keep VALE safe but vale thinks about any scenario where marc sacrifices his life to save him and it feels like open HEART SURGERY…) and after trying to ease him into a more bureaucratic role as “advisor” (luca voice comma dryly. pecco already does all that. you are teaching him things a consort knows. you do realize that. it’s important to me that you’ve realized that.) by involving him on strategy and policy he i think. entirely without thinking through the emotional implications wherein. decides marc needs to get married to him. truly the only way he can make marc safe the only way he can physically keep him off the battlefield the only way he can. marriage is a political and transactional enterprise to him and he SHANT fall in love anyways so whatever. get married to marc present his most cogent military mind as unequivocally allied with him and keep marc from killing himself 8000x problem solved. the small ruthless part of him also is like. marc cannot leave me and stage a coup with our neighbors to the west if he is legally bound to me :) forever :)

(i would say they have a break up in this universe because vale is a lil insecure about marc’s ability to rule slash uccio meddlings but. it all brings glory to vale here. it’s all under his banner. that’s part of what he liked about marc to begin with… now if marc came from another noble house?? late stage royal parentage reveal??? then shit would get cwazy)

and he lays this all out to our capricorn moon queen marc marquez who sees the logic here and despite KNOWING it’s a bad idea because he is ass over teakettle in love with vale he ALSO sees this as like. the ultimate way to keep vale safe. he can contribute the same way he does now and he knows he’ll never have all of vale but at least he’ll have SOME of him… be able to produce an heir… so he says yes and vale’s like cool. chill. married as work associates. cool.

it’s all this emotional distancing/repression/denial that plays out into what they THINK is a business transaction until it’s the NIGHT OF. and they have to go in there and consummate their MARRIAGE. and vale lays marc out on their fine silken marriage bed and kisses his scarred arm and asks him if it’s okay and watches the way marc’s eyes squeeze shut when he pushes inside of him and the way he shivers when vale’s presses his mouth to the junction of his shoulder and his neck. the flex of his stomach the splay of his thighs the way he’s looking at vale like he’s something new. something that no one has ever seen before… feeling things no one has ever felt before (marc marquez may very well believe valentino rossi invented the prostate orgasm here) and THATS when vale thinks. uh oh !

[1-8oo-wtfbro]

does anyone else not like when they give house a romantic subplot or romance? Honestly just feels so unsatisfying to me. let this man commit crimes in peace??

[your-fave-has-munchausen]

I am losing my whole marbles

On here you go to the tag and it's full of "trans-hausen by proxy".

On reddit, the subreddits are about "munchausen by internet", or about discussion like we're some sort of animal they're studying or something, or dedicated to "munchausen by proxy survivors".

Even the people who support us, I find, use us as an example ("people faking is okay because they could have munchausen syndrome!"*) but are nowhere to be found when we're talking about just how much ableism is focused on us.

*true btw

It's all "support survivors! stand up against ableism!" until the survivors experiencing ableism have a disorder that makes them want attention to the point of risking their health, I guess

—🍰

God you have no idea how much it grates on me Shortcake (that's your nickname now I don't make the rules). Ableism and proxy abuse nonsense aside, what really grinds my gears and upsets me to the point it triggers even worse munchies is the fucking invisibility of it all!

It's like...

People only want to engage with us as a "concept," I think? Like we're just a hypothetical to suggest in theory or something, but never actually exist as a real life being to engage with.

They don't want to really think about or consider the actual... I don't know the words. The thoughts, the experiences, the general situation that people with Munchausen actually like. Deal with on a daily basis?

Like it's hard! It's hard to talk about, because it's uncomfortable! Like what do you mean there's this rot inside you that you cannot explain, that you cannot justify, or what-have-you, and the only way to grapple with it is by being injured or ill or otherwise incapacitated? What does that mean? Isn't that just depression? Isn't that just self harm? Some other mental illness? And I'm like I WISH!

It's fucked up to think about but I genuinely wish that it was as easy as that. I wish I could just cut and be done with it. And then that sounds like I'm minimizing the gravity of self harm and I'm like that's not it! I don't know how else to say it! There are no words!

And that's scary and confusing and people don't get it and don't want to contend with the fact that at the root of it there's something deeply, deeply wrong that needs to be addressed here. Yeah, some people who fake disorders have Munchausen, okay, but what does that do? Who does that help?

People with Munchausen exist. Okay. What are you going to do about it, then?

And people's knee-jerk solution is just ignore them! Leave them to do their weird little disorder faking on their own, don't engage with it!

And lowkey I'm like... That doesn't fix the problem, y'know? We're out here hurting ourselves, faking illness, deliberately making ourselves sick, refusing treatment, or putting ourselves in dangerous situations HOPING(!?) for something TERRIBLE to happen to us. I starve myself and refuse medicine and stay out in the cold and hope and hope and hope I'll get sick, or fucking fantasize about being abused or traumatized or getting in a fucking car wreck or any number of things. That's BAD!

But the problem isn't what we're doing, it's why we're doing it! Why are we so explicitly ingrained in the idea that being disordered or injured or ill or what-the-fuck-ever will counterintuitively give us some relief?

And at least for me, it's because nobody fucking cares otherwise!

Nobody sees us, nobody really wants to engage with the deep-seeded rot in a way that actually helps. People are so focused on the solution, the expectation to improve and to heal, the end goal, that they don't really engage with the delicacy and care that we need and inadvertently downplay the vitriolic inner turmoil that's happening on the inside. We have no words, and they have no questions to try to understand. They only want the problem to go away. They don't want to see it. So what else is there to do?

Make it worse. Find something, anything, that will make what we're feeling visible. Justified. Externalized in a way that can't be ignored or written off or bypassed in favor of skipping straight to the end and being done with it.

Make them see it!

Look at us! Look at how much pain we're in! Look at us!

PLEASE! JUST LOOK AT US!

[distilledmelancholies]

Tender Thoughts

Moments full of tenderness

drip by through my fingers

like torrential downpour

that stimulates my senses

but I can never fully grasp:

right there yet so out of reach.

tempting desires;

oh how I want to touch you:

reciprocate everything you’ve gifted me

in the unforgiving passing of time

yet it evaporates in your presence

—I can never seem to get enough.

Mirrored thoughts and perspectives

some sort of paranormal experience

the way our thoughts connect:

growing in parallel planes

—the promise to never converge—

yet I saw you in between all the noise

and pollution of the world

and I still wonder if you’re real

or just another perfect concoction

brought to life by my overactive imagination

And love is scattered

and sprinkled

in thoughts of you

and an endless hunger for more:

more of you

more connection

more touch

because my soul appears to be

sown to yours somehow,

and I cannot recall what life was like

before your bright light

caught the corner of my eye,

and I hope I never have to return

to the realm full of dark matter

where my thoughts and dreams

were aborted before being born

and the only thing that was certain

was the hopelessness

that surrounded my every curve

as it was devoured by nothingness.

Spiraling.

I’m brought back by thoughts of you.

I can only hope that your light lingers.

I can only hope that my eyes never seize to look

for the next glimpse of you.

You spark magic within me.

⋆｡ ﾟ☁︎｡ ⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡ ⋆

[srubabu]

very sorry to everyone whom i stopped talking to randomly its not because i dont wanna be friends anymore, but because i have this awful urge to self-isolate for months on end and then i feel too ashamed to reach out again. and also because of the cursed amulet

[inafieldofdaisies]

Last Line Paragraph Tag | Tagged by @cassietrn and @detectivelokis ❤️

"I-I, I looked at her once. Patty. I know I shouldn't have.", Daniel Wallace said meekly. John raised an eyebrow at the poor excuse, sensing his lie from a mile away, "Now, you sure all you did was look, Daniel?", "Fine. Once. It happened once." "Just once?" Wallace groaned in pain as John pursed his lips and tapped his injured leg, compelling him to grit out, "No." "Well, I'm listening. Details, Daniel. Determining your sin requires details. And, it would be in your best interest to reconsider lying to me." A familiar look of hatred fell over the man's face, "Joseph makes ya listen to our sex stories now? You that desperate? That your only way of gettin' some?" It wasn't Wallace's voice that John heard at that moment or who he imagined was sitting in his chair. No. The frail tone was out of a sudden sounding arrogant, stronger, resembling Hartley's. Before he could stop himself, his hand drove the knife back into his leg, making Daniel release another scream that only worsened the wretched headache further. "Details. I won't repeat myself again." And sure, I don't have better things to do than listen to your pathetic love life, Daniel.

Tagging @clicheantagonist @direwombat @poisonedtruth @nightbloodbix @josephseedismyfather @g0dspeeed @aceghosts @euryalex @adelaidedrubman @thesingularityseries @vampireninjabunnies-blog @theelderhazelnut @clonesupport @voidika @josephslittledeputy @schoute @v0idbuggy @socially-awkward-skeleton @trench-rot @strangefable @sstewyhosseini @jacobsneed @strafethesesinners @florbelles @madparadoxum and anyone else that would like to do the tag ❤️

[interpol-anonymous]

I wish I was as hard of a worker as this other guy in my team but I can barely survive off of six hours of sleep a night let alone two 😞

[Submission received and posted]

[frameconfessions]

I don’t like how self contained The Hex and 1999 feels at the moment because it should feel so much more important to the story. Idk how much liches are gonna help with how self-contained it feels.

.

[jjk-confessions]

Even if Yuko’s and Hana’s love is unrequited, I think they should just join forces and get with each other if they ever meet. Or just be good friends and bond. I don't think they should let their feelings drag on forever, because of the pain of waiting. That shit hurts like crazy. Especially when you're a teenager. Forget that even when you're an adult too.

I'm imagining Ozawa’s facial expression now at the end of her epilogue and I think she should’ve just let her feelings out like how Hana did. But it looks like she’s not the type to confess first. And Yuji over here thinking about building Olaf from frozen. Then he went back to Tokyo to continue his life as a Jujutsu Sorcerer. Wth gege lmao.

.

[theresthesnitch]

good evening good night good morning good day welcome to an episode of snitch’s middle of the night confessions.

So I’ve been wanting to teach myself to draw. I’m absolute shit at it and it’s something I’ve always wanted to do. I spent a while with free apps and a cheap knock off pencil and then upgraded myself to an Apple Pencil and procreate and I’m a real pretend artist now. (I still suck at it, but I’m having fun)

Anyway, saw this thing a while back that said draw the same thing for a month and watch how you improve. I started that, then got away from it for a while, and now I’m back to doing it again. I’m drawing hands, and for the first time, I don’t completely hate what I drew.

It’s not good, but I’m making progress!

[beastsovrevelation]

I don't know if this has been said before. But, if it hasn't, I guess I have to do it. Jillian Salvius is like Bilbo Baggins. Only, instead of more and more dwarves barging in through her door, it's more and more nuns.

[flatoatchi]

things really are not getting better over here!

[nopecho]

I'm feeling the existential dread and have made the poor decision to overdose on wine. Wish me luck

It's my first time actually drinking

[unovasrose]

confessions of a champion — 2 / ∞  

“I have so many friends... and not one of them knows that I struggle with my mental health, though that’s entirely on me.” Well, perhaps Hilbert is the only exception at this point since she had accidentally let down her walls in his presence at some point before they’d started dating. Even then, what he witnessed was only the tip of the iceberg. “Acting like I’m okay comes second nature to me now, especially since I try to pretend like everything’s just fine and dandy all the time just so no one worries.”

Honestly, she’s been doing better more often than not these days. It’s a huge improvement from where she was before. However, it’s not always sunshine and roses.

“But sometimes the feeling is suffocating. Sometimes my chest aches desperately and I just start crying for no good reason, and I can’t stop it. Sometimes, I don’t feel like getting out of bed and I have to fabricate some sort of cover story so my Elites don’t grow suspicious or worried about me. Sometimes, I feel so uncomfortable and caged within my own skin that I have to resist the urge to claw at it in an attempt to make the feeling go away.”

When things get too overwhelming, she just sort of… up and disappears without a trace for a week or two. It happens often enough that her Elites no longer question it, as long as she leaves open some sort of avenue for communication in case something serious happens, or if a challenger manages to make it past the four of them. When she comes back, she’s usually fine.

“I know I should probably see a counselor or therapist or something, but doing so would require me to open up to someone about how I’m feeling. I can’t even do so for people I know and trust. How could I ever do that in front of someone else?”