#doesn’t the brain stop developing at 25? this cannot be it this cannot be who i am because i fucking Suck

[michi-chelle]

cancelled plans suck ‘cause it’s like well what am i supposed to do now?

[correctdangerousfellows]

Hi! Do you mind writing hcs about the boys playing genshin impact?

a/n: anon i am in love with you thank you so so much for requesting this

the dangerous fellows play genshin headcanons

ethan

- a VERY casual player. played up to ar 25 and when he saw he had to do something called ascension he dipped immediately

- still logs on to do commissions tho

- and forgets to collect the rewards for it every time

- has no idea how ANYTHING in genshin works. he unironically builds barbara dps and it somehow works out?? good for him!

- THE LUCKIEST PULLS. EVER. he pulled diluc, qiqi, and mona on his first ten pull on the standard banner and zion hasn’t spoken to him since

- accepts co-op requests but never talks in chat. couldn’t figure out how to use the chat function so he jumps to communicate

- he lets people raid him because he never figured out how to ascend his characters either :’)

harry

- an absolute angel

- has an emotional attachment to traveler and refuses to take them off his team no matter how many good pulls he gets

- the only person who actually doesn’t kill timmie’s birds

- if he comes across hilichurls sleeping or dancing he leaves them alone. it doesn’t matter if it’s a commission he’ll just pass it for the day

- LOVES co-oping with people who are a lower world lvl than them. he helps them do their world quests and commissions, and even sticks around to kill bosses and unlock domains

- everybody is in love with him

- lets people steal resources from his world

- a very very friendly guy in chat

- plays healers in domains

zion

- thought genshin would be lame but downloaded it anyways

- ended up developing a gambling addiction

- cannot save for the life of him. the moment he gets 160 primogems he pulls IMMEDIATELY

- didn’t know he was supposed to wish on the promotional banner until eugene clowned him for it

- buys the battle pass every time

- HAS THE WORST LUCK. he’s sitting at a c6 amber and lisa rn

- had no idea he could offer the anemoculus and geoculus to the statues until ar 35

- doesn’t have any idea on what the fuck artifacts are. he slaps on random shit on his characters and prays

- let eugene into his world once and afk’d for a bit. came back to see all his violetgrass and cor lapis was gone

eugene

- hides the fact he plays genshin

- ar 55 lookin ass

- VENTI MAIN

- all his supporting characters’ builds are absolute DOGSHIT venti is the only one he actually cares about building

- trolls people in co-op

- not in an obnoxious way tho he just screws around a lot

- says he’s a f2p but has all the bp weapons

- his venti does so much dmg u don’t understand. he one shot level 90 stormterror with a charged basic attack

- goes into worlds just to raid them, but he does still help with some stuff if the person he’s stealing from wants

- flexes his 5 star characters

lawrence

- the only smart one who knows how everything in genshin works. mid luck on both artifacts and pulls, but he saves up accordingly

- has notifications on for genshin leaks. usually gets his leaks like 2-3 days earlier bc he has his ways

- unintentionally became a very famous genshin player because his builds and commentary are absolute insane. he's hitting 1 million crit easily

- uses all his brain power to estimate his primogems and when to roll 😭 fucking nerd

- judges everyone secretly for their builds secretly. if he's feeling like an asshole that day he'll join their world and give very passive aggressive advice that’s not advice

- speaking of which he takes advantage of EVERYONE'S world. he secretly steals their resources and dips immediately afterwards after promising to help them :^)

- even though a lot of his characters, weapons, and artifacts are leveled up he still has like 15 million mora wtf

the day i stop torturing zion in my headcanons is the day i die. thank you so much once again anon! this was super fun and i'm sorry this was super late. i’m still recovering from covid so i spend around 20 hours a day just playing genshin to pass time :’)

> lychee

[lululawrence]

Wordplay 5.0 Reflections

I dunno what else to call it lmao it doesn't sound right to call this a meme, but whatever it is, here we are! lol @so-why-let-your-voice-be-tamed came up with these questions after @wordplayfics wrapped up last year and I love them so i'm gonna use them for this year as well.

I'm going to start out with listing the prompts and linking the fics i wrote for each one for everyone's reference, though I'll be linking them again through the answers as well. I'm also putting all the questions and answers beneath a read more because, as usual, I rambled lmao Alright! Here we go!

Struggle: I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right Reduce: I Love This Feeling (But I Hate This Part) Divide: He Carries The Key Rise: Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy Sketch: I Heard You Talking

How did you come up with your ideas for the fics? Can you take us through your process after first receiving the prompt?

I don't know that I have a set way I come up with my fic ideas for Wordplay. It all depends on the prompt and what fic ideas I've got on my "to write list" that might fit that prompt. If nothing on my to write list fits or can be tweaked for a prompt, then I just go through my prompts tag until something strikes me for it, or I just ruminate on the different ways the word can be used and see if something comes up.

So, when I did the random word generator for the first prompt and "struggle" was the word that came up, I immediately thought of "struggle bus". lolllll and when I went looking through my to write list, I saw the girl Payneshaw fic I wanted to write and I was like omgggggg Nick ABSOLUTELY is riding the struggle bus the ENTIRE FUCKING TIME and I knew that was my fic for the week. lmaoooo and there you have it.

What is your favorite fic you wrote for Wordplay this year?

oooohhhh this one is HARD AND MEAN lmaoooo i forgot this was a question asked. okay legitimately i cannot choose a favorite because i'm actually stupidly proud and happy with all of the fics i wrote this year.

If you’ve participated in previous years of Wordplay, what has been your favorite prompt from all years you participated in?

WELP. as the creator of this challenge, i've participated in all 5 years which means there've been 25 prompts i've written. lolllll and honestly i think my favorite prompt is STILL from the first year. it was "bloodsucker". like, how great of a prompt is that???

What was the shortest fic you wrote this year? The longest?

the shortest one this year was... I Said It Wrong, But I Meant It Right at 4381 words.

the longest one was... I Heard You Talking at 10580 words.

What fic of yours surprised you?

i think all of them surprised me in some way. that's part of the joy of writing fics, isn't it? lollll but i think the one that surprised me the most was Thou, Sun, Art Half As Happy. it was a last minute change (i'll elaborate in the answer to the next question haha) and it was a VERY different direction than i had planned. it was all based off of a photo i saw on tumblr, and there was no prompt with the photo. i got to just take in the basic idea of the sticker being placed on a bridge overlooking the city and what might make that spot a good kissing spot.

now, as an ace who doesn't actually ENJOY kissing, i... didn't think about the fact that i would be writing a lot of it. lollll i actually have a super hard time writing kisses and trying to make them varied while also relaying the emotional intimacy of the moment, and then add on top of that the fact that once i started writing the fic, both harry and louis let me know pretty much as soon as words started getting written that they were both genderqueer and that worked differently for each of them, so harry would use they/them pronouns and louis would use he/him still, it just made things more interesting. and the way the fic developed??? like, i had a very vague idea of what would happen in the fic. so the way it actually came about all surprised me.

long answer short, from the very start, this fic surprised me and i was just along for the ride. it was a BLAST and i sure do love it, even if it does have the second lowest hits of all the fics i wrote this year haha

Were there any prompts you struggled to find an idea for?

STRUGGLED HAHAHA sorry. just funny since struggle was a prompt this year. ANYWAY. the prompt i had the hardest time with was defo rise. i've had this fic idea ever since greg james tweeted with shawn mendes months ago about how shawn basically forgot his interview with greg on the breakfast show, so greg had to last minute wing a LOT OF AIR TIME AND SHOW CONTENT and he did a great job, but it brought about some funny content... anyway. that made me wanna write a triad a/b/o fic where greg is louis and harry's beta. rise was going to be used in a lot of different ways through the fic, as well. because breakfast show requires greg to rise from bed early, he gets a rise out of harry and louis with his behavior and overt flirtations with shawn, they have to rise above their jealousy, etc etc etc. i was VERY EXCITED.

except i only had three days i was able to write every week this summer, and those were really really difficult to get. if i wanted to write on tuesday or thursday, i was often curling up with my laptop in a dark room with some caffeine and candles burning to soothe me after the insanity that is my life atm, and write for as long as i could before my brain stopped functioning, which was often only around 30 min. but see, that particularly week was the worst part of my son's 18 month sleep regression, which meant instead of him sleeping and letting me write, i was driving him around or trying to rock him back to sleep or letting him play in an attempt to tire him out etc etc etc and by friday morning i had to admit to myself there was no way i could write that a/b/o fic in my one guaranteed evening to write every week (saturday, btw). so i was suddenly left with around 36 hours to find a new fic idea and develop it enough to be able to write it in one evening.

as i said in the answer to the first question, i usually go to my prompts tag to see what might inspire me with this prompt word in mind, but for this one that wasn't the first place i went. i tried looking at more definitions even though i'd done that earlier and nothing was inspiring me. so i then spoke to several friends and was still having a hard time finding any ideas that felt like something i would enjoy writing and could do so quickly.

by saturday morning, knowing i had less than 12 hours to figure out what i was writing so i could actually WRITE IT in only like 2-3 hours of writing time, i finally sat down and scrolled through my prompts tag. once i did, i saw the photo for the "good kissing spot", and i immediately thought of sunrise. so i ran with it. but i wanted to make it stylinshaw, so how would i work that in, etc etc etc. it was just very fast and very difficult trying to figure out how i would structure it so it could be a fun meet cute kind of fic, but also work into them actually building a meaningful connection etc and... well. it was a lot. haha so yeah, it was just a hard time overall that week, but i'm super proud of it in the end.

Were there any prompts you had an idea for but ended up writing something different? If so, what made you choose to change what you wrote? Do you think you’ll ever write your original idea at a later date?

HA okay well i already answered most of this above, but for the last part of this question, yes i will absolutely write my original idea at a later date. the whole reason i decided not to do it wasn't because i couldn't turn it into a fic that could be written in that one writing session, but because i had hopes for what that fic would be, and i didn't want to shorten and condense it enough to do that. i didn't want to have to lessen the dreams i have for that fic in my head, so i decided i would just put it back on my to write list and save it for later. who knows when, but that fic will absolutely get written.

What do you think was the most difficult as well as the easiest part about the Wordplay Challenge?

most difficult was 100% finding the time to write. that was insanely hard for me all summer, but by the time wordplay was going, things at home had ramped up to being very overwhelming regarding the demands on me and my time, and what i had been doing to carve out some time for myself and writing wasn't working anymore, so i had to adjust even more with the understanding that i was working on a really strict timeline too. so yeah. just finding the time was absolutely the hardest part for me.

easiest part was the actual writing. these fics really flowed from me, outside of the pack fic, that one was actually pretty difficult to make sure i was getting the dynamics exactly the way i wanted to have them turn out, but even with that aspect, it still was like it flowed from me most of the time. these fics really just took over and i was along for the ride. it was a blast.

If you participate again next year, is there anything you’ll do differently? If so, what?

lmao well assuming people still want wordplay to happen again, i'll run it again and very likely will take part. so... with the difficulty i had in finding any time to do anything this summer, i was actually ridiculously stressed when it came to the writing part, but also the modding aspect of it. so i am not sure that i'll run it during the summer again next year. i might have it go during the early fall once school is back in session so i at least have only one child at home instead of three to battle lol so that's one thing i'll hopefully be doing differently.

as for the writing aspect, i don't think so actually. i've done 5 years of this, and i'm having fun with it. haha if i ever find a fic idea i think could work for it, i would consider doing a series for it next year, but it all depends on if there's something i'd like to write that could work for that kind of set up with this challenge.

if you made it this far, thank you for reading!!! xxx

[howwelldoyouknowyourmoon]

Religious Trauma Syndrome: How Some Organized Religion Leads to Mental Health Problems

By Valerie Tarico

Marlene Winell interviewed March 25, 2013

At age sixteen I began what would be a four year struggle with bulimia. When the symptoms started, I turned in desperation to adults who knew more than I did about how to stop shameful behavior—my Bible study leader and a visiting youth minister.  “If you ask anything in faith, believing,” they said. “It will be done.” I knew they were quoting [3] the Word of God. We prayed together, and I went home confident that God had heard my prayers. But my horrible compulsions didn’t go away. By the fall of my sophomore year in college, I was desperate and depressed enough that I made a suicide attempt. The problem wasn’t just the bulimia. I was convinced by then that I was a complete spiritual failure. My college counseling department had offered to get me real help (which they later did). But to my mind, at that point, such help couldn’t fix the core problem: I was a failure in the eyes of God. It would be years before I understood that my inability to heal bulimia through the mechanisms offered by biblical Christianity was not a function of my own spiritual deficiency but deficiencies in Evangelical religion itself.  

Dr. Marlene Winell is a human development consultant in the San Francisco Area. She is also the daughter of Pentecostal missionaries. This combination has given her work an unusual focus. For the past twenty years she has counseled men and women in recovery from various forms of fundamentalist religion including the Assemblies of God denomination in which she was raised. Winell is the author of Leaving the Fold – A Guide for Former Fundamentalists and Others Leaving their Religion [4], written during her years of private practice in psychology. Over the years, Winell has provided assistance to clients whose religious experiences were even more damaging than mine. Some of them are people whose psychological symptoms weren’t just exacerbated by their religion, but actually caused by it.  

Two years ago, Winell made waves by formally labeling what she calls “Religious Trauma Syndrome” (RTS) and beginning to write and speak on the subject for professional audiences. When the British Association of Behavioral and Cognitive Psychologists published a series of articles on the topic, members of a Christian counseling association protested what they called excessive attention to a “relatively niche topic.” One commenter said, “A religion, faith or book cannot be abuse but the people interpreting can make anything abusive.”

Is toxic religion simply misinterpretation? What is religious trauma? Why does Winell believe religious trauma merits its own diagnostic label?

Let’s start this interview with the basics. What exactly is religious trauma syndrome?

Winell: Religious trauma syndrome (RTS) is a set of symptoms and characteristics that tend to go together and which are related to harmful experiences with religion. They are the result of two things: immersion in a controlling religion and the secondary impact of leaving a religious group. The RTS label provides a name and description that affected people often recognize immediately. Many other people are surprised by the idea of RTS, because in our culture it is generally assumed that religion is benign or good for you. Just like telling kids about Santa Claus and letting them work out their beliefs later, people see no harm in teaching religion to children.

But in reality, religious teachings and practices sometimes cause serious mental health damage. The public is somewhat familiar with sexual and physical abuse in a religious context. As Journalist Janet Heimlich has documented in, Breaking Their Will, Bible-based religious groups that emphasize patriarchal authority in family structure and use harsh parenting methods can be destructive.

But the problem isn’t just physical and sexual abuse. Emotional and mental treatment in authoritarian religious groups also can be damaging because of 1) toxic teachings like eternal damnation or original sin 2) religious practices or mindset, such as punishment, black and white thinking, or sexual guilt, and 3) neglect that prevents a person from having the information or opportunities to develop normally.

Can you give me an example of RTS from your consulting practice?

Winell: I can give you many. One of the symptom clusters is around fear and anxiety. People indoctrinated into fundamentalist Christianity as small children sometimes have memories of being terrified by images of hell and apocalypse before their brains could begin to make sense of such ideas. Some survivors, who I prefer to call “reclaimers,” [8] have flashbacks, panic attacks, or nightmares in adulthood even when they intellectually no longer believe the theology. One client of mine, who during the day functioned well as a professional, struggled with intense fear many nights. She said,

“I was afraid I was going to hell. I was afraid I was doing something really wrong. I was completely out of control. I sometimes would wake up in the night and start screaming, thrashing my arms, trying to rid myself of what I was feeling. I’d walk around the house trying to think and calm myself down, in the middle of the night, trying to do some self-talk, but I felt like it was just something that – the fear and anxiety was taking over my life.” Or consider this comment, which refers to a film [9] used by evangelicals to warn about the horrors of the “end times” for nonbelievers.

“I was taken to see the film “A Thief In The Night”. WOW.  I am in shock to learn that many other people suffered the same traumas I lived with because of this film. A few days or weeks after the film viewing, I came into the house and mom wasn’t there. I stood there screaming in terror. When I stopped screaming, I began making my plan: Who my Christian neighbors were, who’s house to break into to get money and food. I was 12 years old and was preparing for Armageddon alone.”

In addition to anxiety, RTS can include depression, cognitive difficulties, and problems with social functioning. In fundamentalist Christianity, the individual is considered depraved and in need of salvation. A core message is “You are bad and wrong and deserve to die.” (The wages of sin is death [10].) This gets taught to millions of children through organizations like Child Evangelism Fellowship [11] and there is a group organized [12]  to oppose their incursion into public schools.  I’ve had clients who remember being distraught when given a vivid bloody image of Jesus paying the ultimate price for their sins. Decades later they sit telling me that they can’t manage to find any self-worth.

“After twenty-seven years of trying to live a perfect life, I failed. . . I was ashamed of myself all day long. My mind battling with itself with no relief. . . I always believed everything that I was taught but I thought that I was not approved by God. I thought that basically I, too, would die at Armageddon.

“I’ve spent literally years injuring myself, cutting and burning my arms, taking overdoses and starving myself, to punish myself so that God doesn’t have to punish me. It’s taken me years to feel deserving of anything good.”

Born-again Christianity and devout Catholicism [13] tell people they are weak and dependent, calling on phrases like “lean not unto your own understanding [14]” or “trust and obey [11].” People who internalize these messages can suffer from learned helplessness. I’ll give you an example from a client who had little decision-making ability after living his entire life devoted to following the “will of God.” The words here don’t convey the depth of his despair.

“I have an awful time making decisions in general. Like I can’t, you know, wake up in the morning, “What am I going to do today?” Like I don’t even know where to start. You know all the things I thought I might be doing are gone and I’m not sure I should even try to have a career; essentially I babysit my four-year-old all day.”

Authoritarian religious groups are subcultures where conformity is required in order to belong. Thus if you dare to leave the religion, you risk losing your entire support system as well.

“I lost all my friends. I lost my close ties to family. Now I’m losing my country. I’ve lost so much because of this malignant religion and I am angry and sad to my very core. . . I have tried hard to make new friends, but I have failed miserably. . . I am very lonely.”

Leaving a religion, after total immersion, can cause a complete upheaval of a person’s construction of reality, including the self, other people, life, and the future. People unfamiliar with this situation, including therapists, have trouble appreciating the sheer terror it can create.

“My form of religion was very strongly entrenched and anchored deeply in my heart. It is hard to describe how fully my religion informed, infused, and influenced my entire worldview. My first steps out of fundamentalism were profoundly frightening and I had frequent thoughts of suicide. Now I’m way past that but I still haven’t quite found “my place in the universe.”

Even for a person who was not so entrenched, leaving one’s religion can be a stressful and significant transition.

Many people seem to walk away from their religion easily, without really looking back. What is different about the clientele you work with?

Winell: Religious groups that are highly controlling, teach fear about the world, and keep members sheltered and ill-equipped to function in society are harder to leave easily. The difficulty seems to be greater if the person was born and raised in the religion rather than joining as an adult convert. This is because they have no frame of reference – no other “self” or way of “being in the world.” A common personality type is a person who is deeply emotional and thoughtful and who tends to throw themselves wholeheartedly into their endeavors. “True believers” who then lose their faith feel more anger and depression and grief than those who simply went to church on Sunday.

Aren’t these just people who would be depressed, anxious, or obsessive anyways?

Winell: Not at all. If my observation is correct, these are people who are intense and involved and caring. They hang on to the religion longer than those who simply “walk away” because they try to make it work even when they have doubts. Sometimes this is out of fear, but often it is out of devotion. These are people for whom ethics, integrity and compassion matter a great deal. I find that when they get better and rebuild their lives, they are wonderfully creative and energetic about new things.

In your mind, how is RTS different from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder?

Winell: RTS is a specific set of symptoms and characteristics that are connected with harmful religious experience, not just any trauma. This is crucial to understanding the condition and any kind of self-help or treatment. (More details about this can be found on my Journey Free [15] website and discussed in my talk [16] at the Texas Freethought Convention.)

Another difference is the social context, which is extremely different from other traumas or forms of abuse. When someone is recovering from domestic abuse, for example, other people understand and support the need to leave and recover. They don’t question it as a matter of interpretation, and they don’t send the person back for more. But this is exactly what happens to many former believers who seek counseling. If a provider doesn’t understand the source of the symptoms, he or she may send a client for pastoral counseling, or to AA, or even to another church. One reclaimer expressed her frustration this way:

“Include physically-abusive parents who quote “Spare the rod and spoil the child” as literally as you can imagine and you have one fucked-up soul: an unloved, rejected, traumatized toddler in the body of an adult. I’m simply a broken spirit in an empty shell. But wait...That’s not enough!? There’s also the expectation by everyone in society that we victims should celebrate this with our perpetrators every Christmas and Easter!!”

Just like disorders such as autism or bulimia, giving RTS a real name has important advantages. People who are suffering find that having a label for their experience helps them feel less alone and guilty. Some have written to me to express their relief:

“There’s actually a name for it! I was brainwashed from birth and wasted 25 years of my life serving Him! I’ve since been out of my religion for several years now, but I cannot shake the haunting fear of hell and feel absolutely doomed. I’m now socially inept, unemployable, and the only way I can have sex is to pay for it.”

Labeling RTS encourages professionals to study it more carefully, develop treatments, and offer training. Hopefully, we can even work on prevention.

What do you see as the difference between religion that causes trauma and religion that doesn’t?

Winell: Religion causes trauma when it is highly controlling and prevents people from thinking for themselves and trusting their own feelings. Groups that demand obedience and conformity produce fear, not love and growth. With constant judgment of self and others, people become alienated from themselves, each other, and the world. Religion in its worst forms causes separation.

Conversely, groups that connect people and promote self-knowledge and personal growth can be said to be healthy. The book, Healthy Religion [17], describes these traits. Such groups put high value on respecting differences, and members feel empowered as individuals.  They provide social support, a place for events and rites of passage, exchange of ideas, inspiration, opportunities for service, and connection to social causes. They encourage spiritual practices that promote health like meditation or principles for living like the golden rule. More and more, non-theists are asking [18] how they can create similar spiritual communities without the supernaturalism. An atheist congregation [19] in London launched this year and has received over 200 inquiries from people wanting to replicate their model.

Some people say that terms like “recovery from religion” and “religious trauma syndrome” are just atheist attempts to pathologize religious belief.

Winell: Mental health professionals have enough to do without going out looking for new pathology. I never set out looking for a “niche topic,” and certainly not religious trauma syndrome. I originally wrote a paper for a conference of the American Psychological Association and thought that would be the end of it. Since then, I have tried to move on to other things several times, but this work has simply grown.

In my opinion, we are simply, as a culture, becoming aware of religious trauma. More and more people are leaving religion, as seen by polls [20] showing that the “religiously unaffiliated” have increased in the last five years from just over 15% to just under 20% of all U.S. adults. It’s no wonder the internet is exploding with websites for former believers from all religions, providing forums [21] for people to support each other. The huge population of people “leaving the fold” includes a subset at risk for RTS, and more people are talking about it and seeking help.  For example, there are thousands of former Mormons [22], and I was asked to speak about RTS at an Exmormon Foundation conference.  I facilitate an international support group online called Release and Reclaim [23]  which has monthly conference calls. An organization called Recovery from Religion, [24] helps people start self-help meet-up groups

Saying that someone is trying to pathologize authoritarian religion is like saying someone pathologized eating disorders by naming them. Before that, they were healthy? No, before that we weren’t noticing. People were suffering, thought they were alone, and blamed themselves.  Professionals had no awareness or training. This is the situation of RTS today. Authoritarian religion is already pathological, and leaving a high-control group can be traumatic. People are already suffering. They need to be recognized and helped. _______________________________

Statistics update:

Numbers of American ‘nones’ continues to rise

October 18, 2019

By David Crary – Associated Press

The portion of Americans with no religious affiliation is rising significantly, in tandem with a sharp drop in the percentage that identifies as Christians, according to new data from the Pew Research Center. …

Pew says all categories of the religiously unaffiliated population – often referred to as the “nones” grew in magnitude. Self-described atheists now account for 4% of U.S. adults, up from 2% in 2009; agnostics account for 5%, up from 3% a decade ago; and 17% of Americans now describe their religion as “nothing in particular,” up from 12% in 2009.

https://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Society/2019/1018/Numbers-of-American-nones-continues-to-rise

_______________________________

Marlene Winell interviewed by Valerie Tarico on recovering from religious trauma Uploaded on January 31, 2011

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fIfABmbqSMA

24:12

On Moral Politics, a TV program with host Dr. Valerie Tarico, Marlene Winell describes the trauma that can result from harmful experiences with religious indoctrination. Dr. Winell explains that mental health issues are widespread and need to be understood just as we understand PTSD. There are steps to recovery, treatment modalities, and resources available as well. She now refers to this as RTS or Religious Trauma Syndrome. _______________________________

Links:
 
[3] https://www.biblestudyonjesuschrist.com/pog/ask1.htm 
[4] https://marlenewinell.net/leaving-fold-former 
[8] https://journeyfree.org/article/reclaimers/ 
[9] https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/A_Thief_in_the_Night_%28film%29 
[10] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Romans+6%3A23&version=KJV 
[11] https://valerietarico.com/2011/02/04/our-public-schools-their-mission-field/ 
[12] http://www.intrinsicdignity.com/ 
[13] https://www.maryjohnson.co/an-unquenchable-thirst/ 
[14] https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Proverbs+3%3A5-6&version=KJV [15] https://journeyfree.org/category/uncategorized/ [16] https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3qrE4pMBlis 
[17] https://www.amazon.com/Healthy-Religion-Psychological-Guide-Mature/dp/1425924166 [18] https://www.humanistchaplaincy.org/ [19] https://www.christianpost.com/news/london-atheist-church-model-looking-to-expand-worldwide-91516 [20] https://www.pewforum.org/2012/10/09/nones-on-the-rise/ 
[21] https://new.exchristian.net/ 
[22] https://www.exmormon.org/ 
[23] https://journeyfree.org/group-forum/ [24] https://www.recoveringfromreligion.org/

_____________________________________

Get God’s Self-Appointed Messengers Out of Your Head

Valerie Tarico Which buzz phrases from your past are stuck in your brain? “God’s messengers” were all real complicated people with biases, blind spots, favorite foods and morning breath. They were not gods and they are not you. So how can you get them out of your head or at least reduce them to muffled background noise?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElfyYA420F0

[theotherjourney7]

“I was gonna leave The Week In Tory until Friday the 2nd October but at their current rate it'll be very long by then, and I'm worried about you, mate.

It's OK to get drunk on at 5pm on Monday the 28th of September, isn't it? Well, that's my recommendation anyway. Here goes...

1. In June UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson said to Black Lives Matter protestors: “I hear you”, and acknowledged the “incontrovertible, undeniable feeling of injustice” that “we simply cannot ignore”

So obviously, 40 Tory MPs refused to take part in unconscious bias training

2. The government shut pubs an hour early, seemingly under the impression coronavirus (an inert, sub-microscopic infectious entity with no brain or nervous system) can tell the time.

The government demanded we all follow the rules

The government exempted House Of Commons bars from the rules

3. Health Minister Helen Whately said “people who get drunk and leave the pub to keep on partying should remember their responsibility for the nation’s health”

Helen Whateley, who is *actually* responsible for the nation’s health, was sober when she said this. Presumably

4. After 6 months of world-leading “throwing apps in the bin but taking the cash anyway”, the government finally proudly released an NHS Testing App

It didn't work with NHS tests

Or on 18% of phones

Or in Scotland or Northern Ireland

And a report said only 10% of the us will use it, cos we don’t trust Dominic Cummings with our data

Nor should we: the Data Commissioner said Cummings' proposed changes to privacy law will see the UK barred from sharing global data, and cost the UK economy "up to £80bn"

5. Meanwhile the promise of 500,000 tests per day won’t be reached because, in news that should shock nobody, the government failed to order enough raw materials

So the government stopped releasing evidence of how many are being tested, cos if you don't look at it, it isn't real

6. The government, which only weeks ago was demanding we go back to work or all get sacked, now demands we all stay at home

7. Them the government said the reason the UK had the worst Covid response AND worst economy in Europe is because we are “freedom-loving”

8. And then government freedom-lovingly banned schools from using any materials that criticised capitalism

Not content with this, they also banned schools discussing “victim narratives”, which is going to make it tough to maintain their national anti-bullying strategy

9. And then a leaked report said the government was planning to freedom-lovingly deploy the military on the streets

10. Meanwhile, the government announced only 24% of businesses have done any preparation for Brexit, and only 30% of cross-channel HGVs have the correct paperwork

11. The government finally admitted what they’d been told repeatedly since 2016, and said Brexit would create 2-day queues of 7000 lorries at Channel ports

7000 lorries (at the average 16.5m each) is 1155km. That’s a queue over 70 miles long. Every day.

To solve this, the government announced a new internal border in Kent, helpfully relocating 70 miles of queues to London, Essex, Surrey and East Sussex instead

A month ago, Tory MP Sir Edward Leigh was demanding we “take back” Calais. Now we’re essentially abandoning Kent.

Because we only had 4 years to plan for this, our lovely new border will start on 1 January and be controlled by software that – and you should probably open a second bottle around now - won’t be ready until at least 4 months later

Oh, and border checks won’t be ready in Northern Ireland either

But we might not have a problem anyway: it was revealed there are just 2000 EU haulage permits for our 40,000 UK hauliers. That’s 5% of what we need, for any Govt Ministers struggling with the maths

12. And we don’t even have enough pallets for the goods we import, cos we currently rely on a supply we share with the EU, and have neither the wood nor the treatment plants, nor the required chemicals to make and treat our own

So now the government has to make a 200m border, a mechanism for policing it, an internal passport system, software, admin, buy 38,000 permits and grow enough trees for 700,000 pallets. In 3 months.

It had 5 months to add up some A-Level results, and that went swimmingly

13. I’m sure supply-and-demand won’t force prices sky high, cos it never does when you have 5% of the food the nation needs and a govt which boasts about breaking the law, but it was also announced tariffs will add £3.1bn to the nation’s food bill in Jan 2021

14. As a mark of confidence, Jim Ratcliffe, Britain’s richest man and a leading Brexiteer, buggered off to Monaco

15. And an unnamed minister was quoted: “We are stuck in a bind. If we try to cancel Brexit we destroy ourselves; if we go ahead with it we destroy the country”

16. The London School of Economics reported the long-term cost of Brexit will be 2-3 times the cost of Covid

So Rishi Sunak cancelled the budget, cos once again, if you don’t look at it, it doesn’t exist

17. JPMorgan shifted £200 billion out of the UK and into Germany calling it “a result of Brexit”.

At least 22% of our entire national economy depends on international banks based in the City of London, so when the largest one fucks off, it's a relaxing development

18. Former Prime Minister Theresa May said the government’s bill to break international law is “reckless” and “risks the integrity of the United Kingdom”

19. The Attorney General, who takes an oath to parliament, the Queen and The Bar to observe the law, said she was “very proud” to be breaking the law

The UK is a signatory and legal guarantor of the Good Friday Agreement, which brought peace to the island of Ireland after 3600 violent deaths. The Attorney General, who is sworn to maintain peace, says Brexit will break the GFA, and she is “extremely proud” of that too.

Turns out, the advisory Professor who told her she should go ahead and break the law and endanger peace in Ireland is the partner of Michael Gove’s special advisor. It’s amazing, these coincidences. Almost as if they don’t want to listen to anybody else

20. Speaking of which, UK Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s old friend and unfailingly irrumating backer (google it) Charles Moore, who has spent his life demanding the end of the BBC, and said the BBC causes "human misery worthy of Dickens" (does he mean Mrs Brown's Boys?) is in line to run the BBC

And it was reported ex Daily Mail Editor Paul Dacre, who shouts c*unt so much his meetings are called “the vagina monologues”, and whose paper is banned as a Wiki reference cos it lies so often, is going to be put in charge of Ofcom: ensuring decent and honest broadcasting

Oh yeah, and Boris Johnson tweeted “a free press is vital in holding the government to account”, which is probably why the people holding his govt to account are being replaced with his mates and cheerleaders

21. Tory MP and successful conscience-donor Andrea Jenkins got paid £25k from a thinktank that doesn’t exist

22. And because no list is complete without a disturbing nocturnal visitation from the smirking angel of death, Home Office Secretary Priti Patel was accused of incitement to racial hatred

23. Whilst Patel, Jenkyns and the Attorney General were busy redefining “the party of Law and Order” the rest of the govt took a wild swing at “the party of fiscal responsibility”, when it was revealed the government has wasted £3,895,556,000 since March.

This includes unsafe testing kits; face masks that don’t work; broken tracing systems; useless antibody tests; cancelled ventilator challenge; and inexplicable contracts to sweet manufacturers and dormant companies with no employees, to provide PPE that never arrived!

24. The government, which insisted schools and universities reopened, said it was now vital to lock down students and prevent them from mixing in large groups

And then the government said it was sanctioning class sizes of up to 60 which ... remind me, is that more or fewer than 6?

25. Health Secretary Matt Hancock said “we’re giving up to 11,000 iPads to care homes to enable residents to connect with loved ones”

“Up to” is a bit telling, but even if it’s 11,000, there are 21,700 care homes in the UK. I guess they’ll just have to share. Goodbye forever, nana!

26. And finally, if you feel all alone in despairing at this: you aren’t. Belief in Britain as a “global force for good” has fallen 10% since 2019. I, for one, am shocked to the core....”-Russ

[violethowler]

The Greater Your Shadow Becomes

A recurring pattern in the Kingdom Hearts series is how often it misleads and misdirects us. We are told that Nobodies do not have hearts only to learn several games later that this was a lie. Our knowledge of Xehanort’s backstory has changed from one game to the next. The series itself even acknowledges its dishonesty, with the Master of Masters telling Young Xehanort that “the truth is what you see with your eyes, not what you hear[1],” while explaining that anything he says about his motivation and identity should not be trusted. 

So despite Kingdom Hearts III, Back Cover, and Union X appearing to position the Master of Masters as the next main antagonist, I remain suspicious that the role the series seems to be setting him up for will ultimately be filled by another. A big part of this has to do with the patterns I have noticed among stories that follow the Heroine’s Journey. 

In a Heroine’s Journey where there is a direct antagonist whose actions must be overcome in order to resolve the story’s conflict, that antagonist has commonly been presented as a narrative foil to either the protagonist or their Animus. In storytelling, a Foil is one character who is contrasted with another in order to highlight the other’s traits[2]. Most stories will emphasize the protagonist’s noble qualities by contrasting them with a character with similar personality traits or a similar backstory but who lacks the qualities that make the protagonist heroic. More often than not, these literary foils function as Shadow figures to the protagonist, and in many cases embody the negative elements of the story’s main themes.

For example, Gaston is put on a pedestal by the people around him as a paragon of what their society considers desirable. He’s handsome, skilled, and charismatic. Yet he constantly disrespects Belle’s agency and intelligence, not caring whether she’s willing to marry him or not. This positions him as a foil to the Beast, who is rude, monstrous, and has to learn how to perform basic tasks like eating with silverware. Despite his gruff exterior, he respects Belle’s intelligence and agency, holding her to the terms of their deal while also growing to prioritize her happiness above his own desires. 

Something that the overarching antagonists of every Heroine’s Journey I know of all have in common is that the audience is made aware of their existence very early on in the story. Their motivations may change over the course of the story, and when we learn about their goals can vary, but we generally learn of their existence before the end of the first act. 

We meet Gaston in the opening musical number of Beauty and the Beast. 

Dr. Facilier from The Princess and the Frog also makes his first appearance in the opening musical number of his film. 

President Snow gets at least a mention in the background in the first book of the Hunger Games trilogy even if Katniss doesn’t meet him face to face until the second one. 

High Priestess Haggar is introduced in the first (technically second) episode of Voltron: Legendary Defender Season 1. 

Meanwhile, the Master of Masters was only introduced near the end of Act II in the overarching narrative of Kingdom Hearts. Likewise, his goals are still unclear, in contrast to other Heroine’s Journey antagonists whose objectives are given to the audience at some point during the second act. So unless he turns out to be a familiar face under the hood, I find it unlikely that the Master of Masters will be the main antagonist of the next act. He’ll certainly play an antagonistic role, and definitely a major one, but everything I know about story structure is telling me that the “Big Bad” of the next arc is ultimately going to be someone else. 

The repeated emphasis on prophecy, fate, and destiny in Act II of the series creates a strong undercurrent of defying fate being a major theme of the final arc of the Kingdom Hearts story. Sora’s ability to connect with others has enabled him to pull off feats that should be considered impossible up to the point of rewriting the fated defeat of the Guardians of Light at the Keyblade Graveyard in Kingdom Hearts III. So it stands to reason that the main antagonist of the final act will be a character who either tries to defy fate in a negative way, or a character who does things because fate dictates it be done. 

So the major antagonist of Act III will most likely be someone who expresses the themes of fate and whether to defy or accept it in a negative way. Someone who serves as a foil to Sora. And someone who was introduced to the audience during Act I - meaning the original game, Chain of Memories, or Kingdom Hearts II. Given the amount of focus he has received since his introduction and how important Kingdom Hearts III revealed him to be in the lore of the series, there’s really only one person who qualifies: 

[Image Description: Luxu stares at the camera after taking off his hood in front of the Foretellers, revealing the face of Xigbar. End Description.]

As someone noted after the release of KH3, there are many similarities between Luxu and Sora when you sit down and think about it[3]:

Back Cover portrays Luxu as a young teen curious about the world, just like Sora. 

Much like how wanting to be with his friends is shown to be one of Sora’s major motivations, Luxu’s Secret Reports in Kingdom Hearts III portray him as wanting nothing more than to be with the people he cares about[4].

Both of them take up these cosmically significant roles with no idea of what lies ahead for them - all the pain, separation, and loss. But they cannot stop or rest and go home until they finish their task because people are counting on them. 

Where the two diverge is in their circumstances and how they reacted:

While Sora stumbled onto the mantle of a Keyblade wielder by accident and chose the responsibilities that came with his mission on his own, Luxu was given his by the Master as part of a greater purpose, and he carried out that role at his mentor’s instruction. 

Both of them hide their pain and weariness under a playful façade. 

Sora has spent his journey in the company of his friends and has relied on their support. Luxu has always been alone, relying only on himself. 

Sora holds onto his connections with others even at significant cost to himself, while Luxu casts aside his bonds and puts his mission above all else.

In addition to his narrative connections to Sora, there is also his connection to Riku as well. 

The scene where he reveals his face to the audience for the first time in Kingdom Hearts II begins with Sora initially mistaking him for Riku. 

In Kingdom Hearts III, he’s paired with Dark Riku at the Skein of Severance, a combination that stands out in contrast to the obvious narrative meanings behind the choices of the other boss groupings in the Keyblade Graveyard. 

Series producer Shinji Hasmimoto has said that Sora and Riku are the core of the story[5], so it would make sense, then, if the primary antagonist of the final act is someone with already established narrative connections to both characters. 

Tetsuya Nomura had the end of the Dark Seeker Saga outlined since Kingdom Hearts II was finishing development[6]. This indicates that everything done with Xigbar across the entire series was planned with the Luxu reveal in mind. The fact that he chose to give Xigbar such a significant part and planned it that far in advance signals that our dear Number II has a major role in the overall narrative of the series. Between the implications of the reveal setting him up as a foil for Sora and the patterns exhibited by major antagonists of other Heroine’s Journeys, I’m confident that role will likely be that of the overall villain of Act III. 

There is always the possibility that I could be wrong and that the Master of Masters will be the primary antagonist of the story’s final act. His influence of others and his writing of the Book of Prophecies appear to set him up as the author of our characters’ fates, which satisfied the narrative pattern of the antagonist reflecting the negative side of one of the story’s themes. 

However, as I said, he was introduced much later in the narrative than is common for the overarching antagonist of a Heroine's Journey. I also have my doubts that it will be that obvious, as Kingdom Hearts has pulled that kind of bait and switch before. The first game initially sets up Maleficent as the main antagonist, only for Ansem to step out of the shadows and take the stage as the Big Bad for the remainder of the game after her defeat. Given how many parallels to the first game are found throughout Kingdom Hearts III, Xigbar being unmasked as Luxu and the information that came with it in the Secret Reports have the makings of an excellent parallel to that switch on a series-wide scale.

Sources:

[1] Kingdom Hearts III Re: Mind; Square Enix; 2020. 

[2] Foil (fiction) - Wikipedia.  https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Foil_(fiction)

[3] Galaxy Brain Take: Luxu and Sora Parallels; February 12, 2019. https://strangefellows.tumblr.com/post/182774246545/galaxy-brain-kh3-take-luxu-and-sora-parallels

[4] Kingdom Hearts III; Square Enix; 2019. (Secret Report #13: Observations, Excerpt 3)

[5] “How Kingdom Hearts III Will Grow Up With Its Players.” September 24, 2013 https://www.ign.com/articles/2013/09/25/how-kingdom-hearts-iii-will-grow-up-with-its-players.

[6] “Kingdom Hearts III Ultimania interview with Tetsuya Nomura”; March 12, 2019 https://www.khinsider.com/news/Kingdom-Hearts-3-Ultimania-Main-Nomura-Interview-Translated-14763

[goldkirk]

If no one has asked you yet, pls do elaborate on Tim's developmental issues in the Dr. Wayne setting (also that oneshot sounds... so good). I love all your commentary on neglect-related developmental delays (and also on people very caringly fixing them, it is good for the heart

THANK YOU ANON I CANNOT WAIT TO TALK ABOUT THIS MORE

Okay so to summarize what I was saying in the other ask: The human brain is super complex, it is NOT developed at birth, it has to organize and grow and make a ton of connections and mature over time, and the thing that causes it to do that is experience. Your experiences shape how your brain develops, and if you don’t get enough of what you need for it to be healthy and strong, or if you get too much of stressful arousal or harmful experiences or whatever, that affects how your brain literally hardwires itself and the size and connectivity and functioning of its physical structures. Plus your hormone levels and control of that whole system. 

So your brain has to develop, and it develops as you experience things, and it develops in whatever ways it thinks it needs to to handle the experiences you have. So if you’re a baby and you’re trying to handle overstimulation or understimulation all the time, or you’ve had a ton of medical trauma, or whatever, your brain is going to start developing in a way that is attempting to keep alert and ready for stress, which means hormone levels and neural connections will be put in place that keep you more stressed out, alert, anxious, and hypervigilant--or in the other direction, maybe they’ll make you slowed down, sleepy, having difficulty feeding, and not as interactive as you should be. 

The brain develops from the bottom up, front-to-back, from age zero to around 25. The most rapid period of time for that is age 0-3, and the MOST most rapid period is within the first several months of life. So much neural connection and growth happens so quickly during this period that it sets critical foundations for the rest of life and for all development that builds on the pillars put in place there. So it’s very important.

Anyway. Assuming Tim has parents that are neglectful emotionally and interaction-wise, a little bit emotionally abusive, and once they started traveling again when Tim was around one and a half or two, have hired and let go a rotating cast of nannies until he was "old enough” to take care of himself pretty fully, here’s a list of what I’m thinking right now:

Problem: His biological age and developmental age don’t sync up in all areas of his life--when he’s upset, he’s way younger and doesn’t know how to regulate emotions or identify them well, because no one taught him as a toddler or little kid. 

Solution: It’s going to take a lot of time and patience, but Bruce has to a) keep himself calm, and b) de-escalate and keep Tim calm too, so that he can listen and learn. Bruce has to model, over and over and over, ways to calm down, take breaks, handle big emotions well, etc. And when Tim does have problems, Bruce (or whoever is available lol) will need to do what we do with babies and toddlers and little kids and label emotions for Tim until he’s able to consistently look at, label, and analyze what he’s feeling for himself, instead of just Feeling Bad and reacting or hiding and marinating in it. They’ll get him there, he just needs time and guidance to learn. Feelings wheels will help, “stop breathe and check” reminders, etc. will probably come into play too. 

Problem: Tim keeps up with his responsibilities at school and home, but he’s an absolute chaos gremlin who doesn’t sleep well, eats at random times, and can’t make or keep a schedule to save his life. He just manages to get things done on time anyway. 

Solution: Bruce is a doctor and none of that is healthy OR helping Tim’s stress levels. Step numero uno of dealing with ANY kid, but ESPECIALLY traumatized ones, is to get them on a stable, set, completely dependable schedule and routine that gives them a sense of stability finally. If you know exactly what to expect, and what’s expected of you, you are way less stressed. If things keep staying the same and what an adult says they are/will be, you start to trust that they WILL stay that way. If your body isn’t used to getting food on a regular schedule--whether that’s three square meals, or five, or seven spread out, whatever works--you’re going to have issues with appetite, hunger signals, days where you hardly eat and days where you eat a lot, and it’s not a psychological issue like an eating disorder, it’s just that you’re not remembering or noticing or getting signals period, and your body can handle that but it does put a strain on you. You don’t want the downstream effects of that strain when you’re in your 30s, 50s, 70s. Bruce is gonna put that boy on a schedule and STRICTLY enforce bedtime--even if Tim continues to have sleep issues. Resting is better than nothing, and he has to give his brain and body a CHANCE to get used to a sleep schedule at least after so long without being forced to hold to one. It’s not that Tim was trying to be bad or whatever, it’s just that he’s young and very Busy And Focused On Stuff and eating and sleeping are inconvenient and not as big in his brain as the thing he’s working on or the game he’s just sunk twelve straight hours into. 

Problem: (This one came up in the appendix chapter with Tim, actually!) Because Tim didn’t get enough of the necessary interaction and learning experiences from a solid caregiver, OR consistent attention, one of the things he didn’t pick up well as his brain developed is an awareness of pain, and a sense of what pain is minor vs. too big, and a drive to get whatever’s wrong taken care of. His brain didn’t learn an association between “something feels bad” and “person x will always make it better”, and also had to choose between just keeping him feeling pain or helping him ignore it when nothing was done to help it, and it picked ignoring bc it let Tim function (survive) more. 

Solution: It’s gonna take time, and some embarassment, but every single time Tim has any injury or illness or issue, no matter how small, Bruce is going to have to make a big deal out of it. First of all because it might BE a big deal and Tim isn’t good at telling one way or the other, but also because Tim Has To Rewire The Brain Through Experience and it has to be memorable enough. So Bruce will sit with Tim and point out all the physical and behavioral signs Tim’s displaying that he’s in pain/discomfort and something’s wrong, and help Tim learn to check for and label them himself. And then he’ll talk about what’s actually wrong, and make a Big Deal of saying they can make it better and explaining how to fix it, and then also over-exaggerate everything he does to reduce the pain and fix whatever’s wrong. It’s gonna be kind of awkward, and make Tim uncomfortable and embarassed, and Tim’s gonna make him swear on his dead mother’s grave to not do it in public, but it WILL work after a while, and Bruce is gonna get this kid to a point where he can use a three-option pain scale and then eventually to where he’s able to use a normal pain scale as long as he thinks about it for a hot sec. 

Problem: Tim didn’t get enough physical stimulation in certain kinds of motion and stuff as a baby and toddler in the ways that were supposed to develop his vestibular system. He needed more rocking and bouncing and swaying than he got. So while he’s good enough to walk and run and do most things fine, more complicated stuff gives him trouble if you know to look for it--balancing on one leg at a time, jumping on trampolines, walking on bars or beams, etc. 

Solution: GOTTA GIVE HIS BRAIN THE STIMULATION! DEVELOP THAT BOY’S BRAINSTEM MORE! Bruce will find ways to get Tim’s activities involving rythym games or practice that don’t seem like little kid stuff lol. He might straight up try to rock Tim in a rocking chair once, which is awkward as hell for both of them but something to look back and laugh at (and kind of admit secretly to enjoying maybe). Tim is smart and driven and does exercise and do some sports stuff, so he has very good COORDINATION and strength, and good basic balance. But anything where an object or floor or surface under him suddenly moves and throws him off balance, or where he has to balance on wobbly ropes, or narrow stuff, or whatever, or is startled--those things would all actually throw him off, and he’d feel VERY off balance VERY suddenly and it would freak him out disproportionately. Because his brain can compensate up to a point but those are about at the edge of what he can handle and it SHOWS. So Bruce would focus on rythym training, swings and garden swings and PT/OT therapy swings that sway and bounce and are different shapes and textures and sizes. Some of them Bruce would sit with or behind Tim and help him control it and stay steady during the first times. Also get him a wobble board to practice on in his room at random times, but one of the ones that uses rubber ball or half-ball underneath, not one that’s all solid wood or plastic or whatever because their movements are so much sharper and more sudden/less smooth that they’d make Tim much more stressed and he’d be too uncomfortable. Also hammocks!!! Easy way to get tim to use a tablet or read a book or play a game while still getting rocking motions. THEN you add in rolling, so things like rolling down hills, doing somersaults, learning flips underwater. Then add in jumping, and oh boy guess what family is getting a new trampoline?

THEN the whole family starts doing the roll-yourself-up-in-burritos game, which is fun. They do bunny hops between rooms and feel like idiots in a conga line of teenage rabbits. They get one of the therapy swings that not only swings but bounces and take turns doing both at the same time, which makes Tim lose his balance about a thousand times until he hates the thing with a burning passion and Bruce insists he keeps going, because it IS helping. And they go to playgrounds when they aren’t busy and take turns run-hopping back and forth on those lines of toadstool/mushroom things that all bounce down and up at slightly different depths. 

Problem: Tim didn’t get enough loving, caring, physical touch as a baby and toddler, including cuddling, hugging, tickling, wrestling, etc., and while he got enough to develop his proprioception partway, he actually halfway has a hard time retaining a sense of being fully aware of being in (and controlling) every part of his body at once and knowing WHERE each part of his body is at once. He has issues with both sides of it, and again, can’t tell unless you’re looking, but he has little tells. Like walking on his toes in bare feet, or wearing tight clothes and shoes, or smashing himself up against things in as many points of contact as possible. 

Solution: SQUISH THAT CAT!!!! you gotta SQUISH that CAT! That’s oversimplifying it, but also the general principle. He’s gotta be touched, and he’s gotta touch back. He’s already seeking that awareness out by trying to increase contact with the floor on his toes, feel more of his  foot by tying laces too tight, pressing his back against a chair, his thighs and knees against his chest, and his shins against the table the chair is up against, etc. Bruce needs to give this kid as much sensory input as possible. Flop on him, squeeze him in hugs, help him rub lotion all over, teach him to do yoga (which will be hard bc he’s used to only focusing on one body zone at a time really), have him hang and swing from monkey bars and throw his whole weight around. Play wrestling, getting buried under cushions, using weighted blankets, brushing Tim down with sensory rubber brushes, stuff like that. Getting him a vibrating pen/pencil to stimulate the nerves and muscles in his hand so he doesn’t squeeze so hard and press against paper so hard just for sensory feedback. Taking Tim places where he has to full-body climb over various textures, big objects, hang from all fours on rope nets, all that jazz. 

The whole family going to the trampoline park and Bruce saying “doctor’s orders” when he tells Tim he has to jump jump jump HURL himself into the foam padding on the walls and surfaces with his arms and legs out for more contact at least ten times in the next five minutes. Getting Tim and Jason to take turns jumping on a trampoline and then on one last jump, flinging themself around a little and deadweight-drop with as much of their body on the squishy trampoline netting as possible, flat and thunking and then instantly yeeted back up with a shriek. Also spending time in the pool or places with a water current because that gives a lot of constant physical pressure on the whole body and feedback our skin is GREAT at picking up when we so much as twitch in water. 

Also, Bruce literally sitting Tim down at the table with a box of all sorts of textured objects and sensory toys and literally teaching him how to feel and play with them, while Dick shows up and joins up with Great Joy just for the hell of it, and Tim figures out that some stuff is Actually Really Enjoyable, Actually, and struggles to not actually Tell Bruce That. 

(can you imagine Bruce very seriously sitting Tim down with the contents of a bucket of sensory objects spread over their kitchen table and being like "start touching" and Tim being like "wtF bruce. wtf. i'm not--i'm not like, a three year old, what is this" and bruce just being like "Training. Start touching. Feel stuff" and Tim's just like uh. what

and Jason meanders past and is like "just do it dude"

Bruce, watching intently while Tim like SWEATS and feels like the most awkward human in the world while he half-heartedly picks stuff up and like, holds them for a sec, pokes at rubber spike balls and strokes the silicone bristles on a kitchen brush a couple times and like, rubs some ric-rac between his fingers for a sec, and then Bruce just goes "you don't know how to touch things do you?" and Tim's like OKAY HEY NOW,

and then Bruce is like "pick something up and hold it for a second. just hold it. that's it. now squeeze it. I don't care if it's 'squeezable' or not. squeeze it. okay. now move it around your hand, press it into your palm and then feel it with your fingers, rub it a bit, squeeze it and pinch it and stroke it. roll it around your fingers and across the back of your hand and fingers, too. maybe run it up your arm. how does it feel? do you like it? do you not like it? does it feel better when you touch it certain ways and not as nice with others?"

and Tim's just confused as hell bc what is HAPPENING but he's trying to follow instructions and yeah, actually, some  things are cooler than others, he likes them, and sometims he likes it on his fingers but hates it on his palm, or whatever, and he's confused and hesitant but Bruce is Very Serious and started doing it with him, and also Dick just stole like three funky ball things from the table and is squeezing and rubbing and juggling them across from him, so like????? whatever)

[nissakii]

Manga or Anime, which one is better?

How many of you did ask themselves or maybe discussed with others which one was better: the anime or manga?

And often there is a distinctive winner and at other times you just simply cannot decide.

Why is that?

Why can we sometimes not decide what is the better option?

While everyone has their preferences there are a section of three people: the ones who only watch the anime and therefore reject reading the manga (whatever the reason is), the ones reading the manga and prefer it over all costs, and last but not least the good middle who may prefer one side but also favor the other at times.

In this blogpost we will discuss the big question: Which one is better, Anime or Manga? as we delve into the topic of what makes both amazing in their own ways but also their shortcomings, seeing which one is better in the end, also considering the three types of people.

Anime

Probably most of you started their journey into the world of Anime and Manga through the former rather than the latter.

Usually it’s even the case that some people watch only anime while others who may have liked the anime so much would consider reading the Manga afterwards.

Yet what makes anime so distinctive and wonderful?

What aspects catch our eyes and would let you choose it over manga?

There are many things that you can only enjoy when you watch the visualization of a series you enjoy, whether you have been a Manga reader who waited for an animation of the so-desired series or a newcomer who never had something to do with the series yet get caught up in it.

In comparison to the Manga who may have visual aspects as well when speaking about panels, Anime gives us the ease of not having to put up together movements such as fights, escapes or other scenes by ourselves but we get to see them right in front of use without using much of our brain.

While in Manga one attack can stretch over several panels and even pages, we get to see that in one smooth movement on the screen and not only that is an aspect that stands out on top of that the same scene we can read silently is now connected to auditory feedback as well.

Characters having a voice, sound effects being represented with actual sound rather than writing a word to make the readers imagine the sound themselves and even background music known as OSTs do give the scene a whole atmosphere for itself.

Despite watching something absent-minded or subconsciously our brain intakes all the information we get on the screen and proceeds with voices especially the character becomes more real as he/she becomes more distinctive through voice and movement that most of the people use to distinguish between others next to facial features and appearance.

But there are always the negative aspects that come along, especially if you fall into the category of being a Manga reader that waited for the anime’s airing, usually our brain automatically fills in holes of information which means voices that didn’t exist for a reader may have been chosen differently than expected, which distorts the image of the character that was built up through reading and filling the hole.

In some cases the anime even derives from the original plot and doesn’t go along with the manga storyline anymore, for the better and in sadly most series for the worse. Also since the episode count is already determined many scenes get left out due to the lack of time that the episode has in store or some of the most relative scenes get shortened to an extent that if not for the Manga some watchers would be utterly confused about what is happening on the screen context-wise. One good example would be the latter seasons of Tokyo Ghoul.

But what if you are not necessarily someone who doesn’t know a thing about the manga and the series is completely new to you?

There are stories which take a while to unfold their full potential and become therefore much more interesting towards the middle, yet if you don’t know what motivates you to watch until that point?

If it wouldn’t be for recommendation or people who are a bit familiar with the plotline some might even drop some anime due to the frustration of a slow plot development which might be worth the wait, yet could stay unknown therefore being a Manga reader or at least knowing people who did could give you that safety net of not wasting your time on a bad plot under the condition the Anime sticks to the manga for the better.

Manga

Next to games, light novels and webtoons usually Mangas get adapted a lot, therefore they are valuable source which make it possible to derive amazing anime from it as we see that anime with no adaption source usually don’t get as much recognition or don’t have a thought-through plotline (or at least it seems like that).

Usually the Manga covers much more scenarios than the anime and is in some cases even completed while the anime is still airing or almost finished airing. Other ones are still on-going because they are much more extensive than the anime.

Now what are the perks of reading the manga?

Since the series from a reader’s perspective

starts much earlier prior the anime release it feels like you are bonding with the manga much more before the release comes out, it gives you the feeling of being early and already much familiar with the series.

Do you know the feeling of reading a manga for years and then suddenly seeing the anime adapting that very gem you are reading? The excitement and anxiety of how the studio will implement all of the details or what they might leave out?

It creates a kind of longing but also the feeling of nostalgia as you remember “ah yes that very scene, I have read it in the manga it was so good.”

With some manga even updating weekly or others with more pages but monthly, as a manga reader you have much more content you can look forward to over a certain period of time, not only that but you get a lot of details along with it.

Scenes which usually take a lot of time to understand and rewinding it many times on the screen can seem much more comprehensive in the manga when seeing the things step by step, usually we also get insight of other people’s thoughts through thought bubbles which were left out in the anime or even little details far in the background of the panel that are something like an easter egg provided by the author.

On top of that you get to see little extra comics of some of your favourite characters or a little talk from the author who might from time to time drop some old concepts or original plot ideas that were discarded for the later chapter releases.

Since the manga basically is only visuals with no voices or sounds, for people who might lack a bit of imagination it might be quite tiresome to fill the holes of not having that provided or is bland, yet for other people it gives them the advantage of imagining the characters having the voices how they want them to sound.

Unlike the anime the manga also needs a bit more attention and therefore usually we tend to be a bit more aware or focussed on other things in the manga then in the anime, of course only generally speaking since there are other anime where you are supposed to constantly think along such as Danganronpa or Steins Gate.

There also characters which are manga-only meaning that the character is either not introduced at all as if they never existed or they come in so late that many people won’t even know about them who only watched the anime, in Ouran Highschool Host Club for example we have another Love interest for one of the host boys who was never introduced in the anime but plays a role in the manga, since we are also talking about Ouran, the ending of the anime heavily derives from the manga plot as there was no such scene which means a major change occurred to get a got final episode.

On top of that many backstories and secrets let’s take the former example, we have Tamaki’s, Kyoya’s and even the twins’ story revealed. Yes, you might say, wait, the Hitachin story was revealed in the anime? but many details and a lot of scenes that are relevant as to why they have become what they are, are left out.

Usually story-wise the plot gets deeper and much more complicated, to a point that the reader just cannot stop reading but sadly the anime only covers the inception of a much bigger problem that awaits the characters, but watchers only would never know about that another two examples would be Toiletbound Hanako and Gakuen Alice.

As Gakuen Alice might even come off as a children series if you start watching the anime the manga surely refutes that impression, the anime with 25 Episodes is something like a character introduction compared to the manga where the major events happen and you later on might ask yourself if not for the title and characters: is this the same series I watched on screen? That’s crazy.

So which one is better?

Now the question we have been waiting for after establishing pros and cons on both sides: Okay, I got it but which one is better?

Plottwist:

There is no universal answer to it.

You might take it as a joke or not, but it’s a preference thing yet I encountered many people who actually favoured the Manga due to the reasons stated.

Usually when the anime ends many fans, regular readers or first timers, tend to read the manga at some point because when does the sequel come?

Or will there be a sequel?

Maybe there was a scene that seemed lacking and you heard the manga outdid it.

Whatever the reason is most people tend to have at least a look or two into the manga.

Fans of Attack on Titan, Haikyuu or Jujutsu Kaisen for example just simply couldn’t wait for a sequel and went straight to the manga even though they hate reading in general, since the tension built up just wouldn’t fade away and sometimes that results in people suddenly liking manga more and becoming a regular reader.

Yet there are people who would rather wait for the next episodes and refuse to read from the adapted source, even in the case where the anime obviously is badly adapted or even altered to a point where the story is becoming confusing due to the plot holes that come from the many changes.

It all depends which type of person you are: Watch anime only, Manga over everything or the good mix of both?

Because in the end if you hate reading then the manga surely wouldn’t give you the same experience when you are also a fanatic of amazing soundtracks, animations and so on.

Which one is your preferable source: Manga or Anime?

Which type of people did you already meet?

Meanwhile as I await your comments let me see what the tea brings.

-Makii

[silluuuu]

1, 7, 23, 24, 26, 27, 28, 30 (putting you on blast lmao), 31, 37, 38 (ill let you pick just gimme the headcanons!), 40, 41, 49, 50

aer i love u LOL thank u for this gift. my brain is very wrung-sponge this morning so will have to answer the hc questions later 2day but i will answer the rest now. LOTS OF SPOILERS AHEAD!:

1. Who is your favorite character in the show? ok i have two answers for this, and both of them feel like they’re everyone’s answer but i can’t help it, these are my feelings!!!

objectively: catra. i love her story arc SO! MUCH! i thought it was done so well and she’s been through so much and i’m so proud of her. subjectively: adora. she is my people, i identify with her so much and she is so special to me and i will elaborate on this in #7 lol.

7. Do any characters remind you of yourself? Do you share any traits with a character? adora, 100%. she is Anxious and has such high standards for herself and takes responsibility for so much when she doesn’t have to!!! she’s been taught basically since birth to please others, to shoulder blame, to rise to others’ expectations, to be infallible - yeah, that all resonates with me a lot, haha.

23. Favorite episode? Corridors, hands down. if i had 24 minutes and 7 seconds to live, that is what i would watch. i wish i were exaggerating!! special shoutout to save the cat and white out as well. i can watch those episodes at ANY TIME, in ANY LIFE.

24. Did you cry at any point watching She Ra? the first time i watched, i only cried once - when mara says “you’re worth more than what you can give to other people; you deserve love too”. it felt like she was talking to me thru the screen and i just lost it. when i re-watch, i cannot watch Promise without crying. i didn’t Understand how important that episode was the first time, and now every time i watch, i cannot deal!!

26. Are there any characters you don’t like/find annoying? listen. i literally love them all. some are definitely more fleshed out than others, but i can honestly say i love every single one of these dummies with my whole heart. well. obviously i hate shadow weaver because like, she sucks. but as a character, i enjoy her immensely.

27. Are there any characters that you didn’t like at first but now you do? YES. seahawk!!! swiftwind!!! i didn’t properly appreciate mermista until season 4 (a tru crime).

28. Does Swift Wind deserve rights? listen, swiftwind redeemed himself in my eyes from that one scene where he imitates shadow weaver. shit was hilarious!!!

30. How many times have you watched She Ra? ... LISTEN. 😂 okay, so i’ve watched the entire show, beginning to end, about 6 times. three times by myself, three times with friends. my favorite episodes, tho? i’ve probably watched corridors/save the cat more than 20 times, at this point. listen. we know i have a problem. i have accepted this about myself.

37. Do you have any unpopular thoughts/opinions about She Ra? my most unpopular opinion is probably the fact that i love every single character, LOL. 40. Why do you like She Ra? it’s just... it’s so special to me. i guess i’ll split this into objective and subjective again, haha. objectively: the way the show discusses abuse, toxic friendships, its allegories to religion and guilt, the idea that you can make mistakes over and over and still, finally, after everything you’ve done, choose to be better? *chefs kiss*. there are so many important, nuanced messages in the show that people of all ages need to hear, and it’s BEAUTIFUL. also, the representation, duh. and the characters are hilarious and layered and charming and genuinely so incredible to me. subjectively: catra in a suit, catra’s outfit in season 4, catr-- ok i’m kidding (i’m not kidding) but the show also just perfectly jives with my brand of humor - a little dumb, a little tongue-in-cheek, i don’t know how to explain it. i just feel like, every emotion when i watch it, and it makes me feel a little more alive or something. 41. What do you not like about She Ra? i wanted/needed just a little bit more of some plotlines!!! my one major letdown from the show is the resolution on catra and scorpia’s relationship (give us a proper reconciliation, you cowards!!! scorpia deserved better!!!) i would have killed for a full 25-minute epilogue episode. speaking of scorpia, where are scorpia’s moms!?!?! also what the heck is going on with entrapta’s family? we got so much great development with bow and glimmer’s families, i just want more for the rest of the princesses!!! i know there’s only so many episodes but!!!! i need more!!!

49. What character is underrated? omg, easiest answer on this list for me. perfuma!!! her growth in the show is so under the radar, but the fact that she goes from treating vulnerability as a weakness in s1 to seeing vulnerability as her biggest strength in s5???? incredible, amazing, show-stopping, spectacular-- 50. What character is overrated? i understand that this answer is a cop-out, but: i love these stupid humans (also some non-humans) so much. i am the one doing the overrating. none of them are overrated. they are all perfectly-rated and this is the hill i will die on 😂 thank u so much aer, u are the best LOL

[p-and-p-admin]

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group.

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello DeepShadows2 and welcome to Behind the Quill, I am pleased to have this chance to chat with you.

Many of our group’s members will know you as part of our Mod team but they might also know you as the author of Peculiar and of Good Night, Sweet Prince (written for our last Prompt Week of 2020!)

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? 

I grew up in the martial arts and my 'warrior name' was 'kage urufu' or Shadow Wolf.  When I was in Creative Writing in high school, someone else was writing under that pen name, and they were more popular, and I was told I 'wasn't allowed to copy her name' by our teacher. So I went back and forth between some names and finally came up with DeepShadows. It is because during karate Kamp's ninja night games I would find the darkest spots in the camp and wait to sneak attack my enemies to steal their flags. The 2 comes from the fact that my first ever FF.net account got deleted because I put up lemons there instead of AFF.net.

Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most?

Honestly, it is a mix between Severus, Draco, and Minerva. Each in their own way was in positions they would have rather not been in at one point in time, but made the best of those situations. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) Strangely enough, I am really into my 70s Feminist Sci-Fi. Like Darkover and Tanith Lee's 'Don't Bite the Sun' Series. As for Fic, I am into many scenarios and it changes according to my mood. Recently I've been into fluff slice of life.

Do you have a favourite "classic" novel?

Oof. Asking me to pick solely one is a crime. I have always loved Gone with the Wind. If I had to point at one, it would have to be it. But I honestly went over 15 titles in my head trying to decide which one would be the winner. 

At what age did you start writing?

I have been telling stories and writing them since I was young. I could read and write at age 4 because my grandmother wanted me to be ready for school. My first written story was at 5 ish and I still have my Crayola blue five-line story about a Unicorn named Pepper.

How did you get into writing fanfiction? 

I got into fanfiction when I discovered that ff.net existed. My first fanfic is still up there under this pen name, but it is miles and leagues from my current quality. Spelling is still atrocious though.

What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works?

Honestly, hard to say. I love post-war fics. I love when the narrative is close to canon, but uniquely not, so it handles like it is an extension of the world and not a separate world. 

Theme wise, I am a sucker for hard-hitting drama.

What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter?

I was into Kingsman, but not as a fic writer, but a Tumblr role-player. It's been a while, so mostly now I'm just back to being a Potterhead. It's where I began and where I always come back to.

If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? Do you have a favourite piece of fanon?

Snape lives! You cannot tell me that a POTIONS MASTER who spends ALL DAY every day keeping students from POISONING themselves and who personally makes BLOOD REPLENISHERS for the infirmary would not have been prepared for an attack from Nagini. It is not secret knowledge that Drama King Voldy likes to have her do his dirty work and Severus would have been prepared for the off chance he was discovered and attacked. He lived.

My favourite piece of Fanon.... hmm... I like a lot of Fanon.  It's hard to put my finger on just one piece that I enjoy.

Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? 

Music! Nearly all of Peculiar was written to Folklore by Taylor Swift.

What are your favourite fanfictions of all time?

Cake and a Cup of Tea by Cybelle Somewhere I belong by .... I can't remember Not Only a Granger by my friend Ferporcel

Are you a plotter or a pantser? How does that affect your writing process?

I am a Pantser. I have beats and thematic key points I know I want to hit, but the characters sort of fill out the story as I go. Sometimes I surprise myself with where I end up and I love that. Example: Draco/Krum was a total accident in Peculiar, but I love everything about it. 

What is your writing genre of choice?

Hurt/Comfort and Drama/Angst

Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why?

Peculiar and Good Night, Sweet Prince.

Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it?

Oh, my goodness, the unexpected cropped up. Peculiar was only supposed to be a 25 chapter post-war, post-divorce AU that turned into this beautiful beast. Characters were created as I went, and some side characters became major plot devices or turning points. I learned that sometimes my brain knows what it is doing before I know what it is doing. There were hints and notes of what was going on that I wasn't even aware.

How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write?

There are points that are special to me.  It made it easier and harder to write.  Having experience with some subjects Hermione goes through makes it easier to translate the emotions into words, but simultaneously, some of those factors are trauma-based and I had to navigate myself through.

What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing?

I draw influence from everything I read. That is a key reason I don't read anything similar to my current work while writing because I don't want to accidentally lift from someone else. 

Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction?

Two of my roommates are readers and I get people barging into my room after a post a chapter yelling 'OH MY GOD'. I also have a typed and printed review handed in person to me by my roommate that is on my inspiration board where she says 'Fuck you, but with love'. My entire friend group knows I write fanfiction and I get some of them to read it from time to time. My mom won't read peculiar until it is finished because she doesn't want to nag me for chapters.

How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? 

YES! I started Peculiar because I couldn't find what I was looking for. I wanted a high emotion, high stakes, drama and background rich fanfiction in which Hermione has completely broken and has given up on herself. Where she has nothing and no one and has lost that spark in her. I wanted Ron bashing where he is a villain and yet isn't the same time. I wanted Severus to be indifferent to her at first and slowly discover her suffering and set out to help her for the sake of the school, and it develops into more through feelings severed early on just after the war. I wanted her to have to overcome trauma and recover for herself, not for Severus, but instead with him and that they heal from their past together while facing continuous challenges that attempt to tear them apart. Along with other factors that haven't come to be yet, so I won't want to spoil.

How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media?

I love my audience. It actually brought me here. Shout out to Geek and Tattoo for bringing me to this group’s Discord server. I answer every comment, I respond to any statements or comments I notice on social media. I'm an open person with my audience, which is why when I had to go on hiatus, I told them exactly what was going on.

What is the best advice you've received about writing?

Write what feels best. If you don't like what you are writing, no one else is going to.  If you don't want to write a certain scene but you need it, write an article or a letter about it. 

What do you do when you hit writer's block?

I cry. Then I put on the music that inspired the story/scene and I pace my room, going over the potential dialogue and basically acting out what I think should happen until it sounds right.

Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing?

Yes. Many of my OC characters are modelled after some of my real-life friends. And some other events have easily transitioned into events that Hermione and Severus have gone through.

Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser?

I am currently writing the next chapter for Peculiar. I won't give a teaser, but I will say that Hermione and Severus give Rita Skeeter a delicious taste of revenge.

Any words of encouragement to other writers?

Don't stop, but also be kind to yourself. Not every writing session is going to be your best, but you won't have better days if you give up. Also, if someone doesn't like what you write, forget them, as long as you are happy with it, that is what matters.

Thanks so much for giving us your time.

[missmentelle]

I think that I might have narcissistic personality disorder or something similar. I am extremely self-centered. I can't bring myself to share anything and I always put myself first. I genuinely do not like my current friends. I hang out with them because I have no one else but I am repulsed by them physically as I find them unattractive. I also cannot bring myself to love my family at all, and I don't know why. I think they're annoying and I am also repulsed by them. I don't know what this means

Narcissistic personality disorder is a pretty big deal, and it’s usually a good idea to consider other alternatives before jumping to this diagnosis. Believing that you have a serious personality disorder can become a self-fulfilling prophecy; if you believe you have a serious personality disorder that makes it impossible for you to have healthy relationships, you are likely to put less effort into your relationships, which tends to make them less successful, which gives you more evidence to support the idea that you have a personality disorder, and so on. That’s not to say that it’s impossible that you have a personality disorder - anything is possible - but its best to seriously consider more likely explanations, and hold off on the more serious ones until we can conclusively rule the more likely stuff out. As the saying goes, diagnosing yourself with a relatively rare disorder is like hearing hoofbeats and expecting to see a zebra. 

One of the reasons that you’re having a hard time caring about others right now could be your age. If you are in your teens or early twenties, I know that a lot of things get blamed on your age, but in this case, it happens to be true. The brain does not finish fully developing until roughly the age of 25, and the last thing to develop is your frontal cortex - this is the part of the brain that governs empathy, impulse control and complex decision-making. Your teens and early twenties are not a peak time for empathy - your focus right now is on figuring out yourself, rather than dealing with others. It’s just kind of a self-centered time to be alive. We don’t typically diagnose NPD until adulthood because it’s normal for children and teens to show narcissistic symptoms and tendencies. You haven’t finished forming neurologically, and your brain doesn’t yet have the capacity for empathy and complex bonding that it is going to have later in life; right now, everything is driven by hormones, everyone gets on your nerves, and your patience for other people is going to be razor-thin. The surly teen who rolls her eyes and stomps off to her room if other people so much as breathe in her direction is a stereotype for a reason, and it’s rooted in a grain of truth. I consider myself to be a very empathetic person, and as I get into my late 20s I have a newfound appreciation for my family, but when I was younger I just wanted everyone to fuck right off. Everything rubbed me the wrong way, everyone was annoying, and I wanted to be left alone all the time. It’s something that the vast majority of people experience, and the vast majority grow out of. 

You could also be experiencing a bout of depression. When most people think of depression, they think of sadness, but that’s not necessarily the case. Depression can also present itself as extreme irritability - sometimes depression just sucks all the joy out of life and relationships and magnifies all the irritating and negative qualities in the people around you. People who are depressed often have a hard time relating to others, are easily annoyed, and have a hard time finding happiness even in close relationships. If you’ve been experiencing other signs of depression - oversleeping or insomnia, overeating or loss of appetite, social withdrawal, thoughts of suicide, loss of interest in things you used to enjoy - it might be a good idea to talk to a professional and see if there’s something going on. 

It’s also possible that your friendships right now just aren’t very good. Sometimes we naturally grow apart from our friends, and it’s easier to blame that on something that’s wrong with them or with ourselves, rather than facing the fact that most relationships have a shelf life and that’s just kind of a sad thing we all have to experience over and over again in life. Maybe you and your friends used to have things in common but you’re changing in ways that are no longer compatible. Or maybe you never really had much in common, and your friendship is mostly based on “we went to the same school and were assigned to sit near each other in class”. If you don��t really fit in in your social circles, it’s much easier to decide that there’s something wrong with you rather than acknowledging that you just don’t have anything in common with the people around you. I never really fit in with my high school friends, and we quickly lost touch after graduating. We never had much in common beyond circumstance, and when we stopped having the same teachers and homework and gossip, we stopped having anything to talk about. My high school friendships made me feel awkward and frustrated in ways I found difficult to explain back then, but now that I’m older, when I look back I realize that I was trying to force friendships with people I just didn’t have anything in common with, and it wasn’t going to work. 

Narcissistic personality disorder is very rare and severe - it impacts absolutely every aspect of a person’s life, and makes it almost impossible for them to function normally. NPD goes far beyond a lack of empathy or annoyance with people around them - people NPD are hyper-sensitive to criticism, have constant serious mood swings and emotional episodes that they find difficult to control, have a constant need for attention, feel constant secret envy of the people around them, have a severe inability to cope with stress or change, and constantly struggle with depression that comes from failing to live up to their own impossible standards. People with NPD have major issues in relationships, and have a hard time functioning at work or school; their relationships are often volatile, and they struggle to hold a job or pass their courses. If you are experiencing these kinds of difficulties and symptoms in your life, it’s important to speak to a mental health professional right away so you can start to get to the bottom of the issue. 

Hope this helps!

Miss Mentelle

[ketoanalystpro]

Would You Like to Know Exactly What to Eat to Lose Fat and Get Healthy Without Giving Up Your Favorite Foods or Starving Yourself?

If you're serious about achieving permanent fat loss and a complete health transformation while eating your favorite foods every meal…

I invite you to read this page.

Here’s The Deal:

In my opinion, the nutrition industry is hopelessly broken. Instead of helping people improve their health and overall physical appearance, the world is filled with myths, scams, and flat-out lies.

I mean, it’s obvious the current dietary guidelines don’t work. Just look at the stats. 71.6% of American adults aged 20 and above are overweight, of which more than half are obese![1]

Now, if you’re one of the millions of people who follow all the nutrition rules outlined by health and fitness “gurus” but still carry excess fat, it is not your fault!

The Truth Is:

No matter how genetically “doomed” you may think you are, and no matter how frustrated you may feel after trying and discarding many diets, you absolutely can have the lean and alluring body of your dreams.

You see, getting into fantastic shape isn't nearly as cruel as nutrition and fitness “gurus” want you to believe. In fact, if you avoid the four most common and catastrophic diet mistakes, shaping your dream figure is actually a simple process.

Do You Make These Four Common Diet Mistakes That Sabotage Your Health and Stall Fat Loss?

Mistake #1 ( Not being in a calorie deficit )

According to some “experts,” losing weight and keeping it off is all about controlling the types of food you eat.

They say particular foods are "fattening" because they pause fat burning and cause a hormonal environment that leads to weight gain... while other foods "balance" the system and stimulate fat loss.

While that’s partially true, it doesn't give you the full picture. The reason is that if you want to lower the number on your scale, the most important thing you must do is enter a caloric deficit.

It’s simple. If you consume more calories than you burn, you’ll gain weight. And if you consume fewer calories than you burn, you’ll lose weight. That’s a scientific fact.[2]

Looking for proof? Well, dozens of studies show the vitality of calorie balance.[3-19] One of these is a case study by Mark Haub, a professor of human nutrition at Kansas State University.[20]

He carried excess pounds and, knowing the importance of calorie balance, decided to do an experiment. For two months, he only ate foods like Twinkies, Oreos, Dorito, and protein shakes while maintaining a daily energy deficit of 800 calories.

The result? In just two months, he lost 27 pounds and reduced his body fat from 33.4% to 24.9%.

Now, I don't recommend you follow such a diet, but it illustrates my point. If you want to lose fat, you must be in a calorie deficit.

Mistake #2 ( Severe calorie restriction that gives you the metabolism of a 90-year-old lady )

If an energy deficit of 250 calories a day will get you lean, a 1,000-calorie deficit will give you the results four times as fast, right?

Wrong! Many people make this mistake, and I used to do it too before I knew any better.

The truth is, severe calorie deficits screw up your physiology. That's why almost all low-calorie dieters regain the lost pounds when they stop the program... plus, most often gain some more on top of that.

You see, your body doesn't know you're trying to get ripped for the beach. Instead, because you're starving yourself, it thinks you're stranded with no food.

As a result, your body’s metabolism will plummet to prevent you from losing weight. This means that as soon as you come off your diet, your body will store as much food as possible as fat to prepare itself for the next starvation.

That’s why it’s essential to eat according to a calorie target fine-tuned for your body, your situation, and your goals.

Mistake #3 ( Thinking all calories are created equal )

Thus far, we've looked at calories. And while calories are a crucial piece of the fat loss puzzle, they're in no way the only thing that matters. You see, when most people say they want to lose weight, they actually strive to improve their health and look better.

The thing is, if you want to accomplish such feats, you shouldn’t strive for weight loss. Instead, set your sights on fat loss. That's because losing weight doesn't necessarily improve health and appearance, but losing fat does.

Now, when it comes to fat loss, calories remain a crucial element. But what is just as crucial is your macro intake. In other words, your consumption of protein, carbs, and fat is vital. How you set up your macros has a profound effect on how your body will respond to the meals you eat.

For example, if you consume too many carbs, it’ll be near impossible to lose fat even if you maintain a calorie deficit. That’s because carbs spike insulin, a hormone that blunts fat loss in two main ways.

One of these is that elevated insulin levels block the release of fat from your fat cells.[21-23] And if your cells can't release fat, your body can never burn off the excess.

Second, elevated insulin levels cause the storage of energy found in your bloodstream to morph into body fat cells.[23-25] This means the energy won’t get burned off by tissues like muscle but instead snakes its way around to places like your hips and abs.

That’s why researchers call insulin the "fat storage hormone," and that’s why carb-rich diets make it nearly impossible to lose fat.

Insulin is but one example. Optimizing your macros is crucial for many more reasons, so in a minute I’ll show you how to set up your macros to triple fat loss.

The best part? The method I’ll show you in a minute from now is effortless to follow and never leaves you hungry. In fact, this eating style is so satiating and easy to follow that you would probably forget you were on a diet if you weren’t losing fat so fast.

Mistake #4 (Following an unrealistic, overly restrictive diet )

Willpower works like a battery – you only have so much of it until it runs out. That’s why very restrictive diets deplete your willpower, increase your cravings, and lead to binging – the exact opposite of what you want when trying to build your dream body.[26-27]

I've seen it countless times before... a guy or gal who is dedicated to losing weight and getting healthy. To kick things off, they start a diet that only allows food like tilapia, asparagus, and chicken. After all, that’s what the fitness magazines recommend.

While the results are great in the beginning and the dieter loyally brings Tupperware boxes packed with "healthy" meals wherever they go, their willpower eventually runs out and that diet gets tossed out the window.

Just keep in mind that dieting itself is already hard. Don't make it even harder for yourself by enforcing all kinds of unnecessary restrictions. Otherwise, you’ll likely take on a “screw it” mentally after a few weeks or even days, wake up in a sea of Twinkie wrappers and be back to square one.

The Solution to These Diet Blunders:

A Keto Meal Plan Customized to Your Body, Situation, Goals, and Taste Buds

If you want to take all the guesswork out of your diet and follow a guaranteed-to-work plan, then you'll love my brand-new custom keto meal plan service.

For the last few years, I’ve united leading nutritionists, personal trainers, and chefs to develop custom keto meal plans that are effective, convenient, cost-effective, and (most importantly) enjoyable.

And when I say "custom" meal plan, I mean it. These aren’t your run-of-the-mill, “here are some recipes pulled together from random blogs” meal plans many nutrition “gurus” sell for way too much money.

Instead, we tailor your entire meal plan to your own unique situation, needs, goals, and dietary preferences to ensure you experience optimal progress and follow a diet you enjoy.

In other words, your days of suffering on ineffective and overly-restrictive diets are finally over. It's time to start working based on a method that's best for you.

What Truly Sets These Meal Plans Apart is that They’re Based on the Keto Diet

Unless you were lost in the Himalayas for the last few years, I bet you've heard of the keto diet. In fact, you probably have a friend or family member who has transformed their body like magic with this diet.

But in case you didn’t know or just forgot, here’s a quick recap. A keto diet is an eating style where you consume almost no carbs, moderate amounts of protein, and high amounts of dietary fat. So, you’ll be eating tasty high-fat meals like ribeye steak with roasted garlic and butter.

“Why would you do that?” you may wonder. Well, a very low carb intake puts you into a state called “ketosis.” You see, under regular circumstances, your body relies for the most part on glucose (the stored form of carb).

When you minimize your carb intake, however, there's not enough glucose available for your body to fuel all its functions. And because some tissues like your brain cannot use fat for fuel, your body needs an alternative energy source to stay alive.

That’s where ketones come in. Ketones are chemicals produced in your liver when glucose is scarce. Various tissues like your brain can use these ketones for fuel when glucose is absent.[28] That's an excellent outcome because, otherwise, you would die.

Now, when your body uses primarily ketones and fatty acids for fuel, you're in a state called “ketosis.” That’s invaluable because...

Ketosis Gives You an “Unfair” Advantage on Your Fat Loss Goals

You’ll Get Your Custom Keto Meal Plan for Less Than 5% of What You Would Normally Pay

Having a personalized nutrition plan created just for you can get REALLY expensive REALLY fast.

If you go to a nutritionist, you'll pay around $100 for your initial meeting and an average of $400 per month for modifications and check-ins. So, for an 8-week nutrition plan, expect to pay around $900.

And after spending all that money, it's very likely you'll end up with the same outcome as the rest of their clients: devastated with your results and clueless about what to do next.

I know how it feels because I've been there myself... forking over thousands of dollars for no results. And I know how shattering it is to spend all that time and money and not even end up close to your ultimate goal.

I don’t want you to suffer from such an experience, and that’s why I'm offering this service. My goal is to help people transform their health and figure without going through the unnecessary struggles that often come with it.

That’s why I offer this service not for $900. In fact, the price is not even 5% of that because if you act today, you’ll get instant access for just $37.

I know, this is much less than what you would expect from such a service. But I want to make my custom meal plans available for everyone. And I want to help one million men and women around the world take charge of their health and figure. That’s why I don’t want price to be an issue.

But that’s not all. Besides this low price, I also back you with a robust and straightforward 100% satisfaction guarantee.

Try Your Custom Meal Plan Risk-Free and Judge for Yourself. If You’re Not Satisfied, You’ll Get All Your Money Back

[howtodrawyourdragon]

I’ve been watching Httyd 1 today for some good old Hicctooth therapy and I think I am personally going to ignore Dean’s last words about Toothless in that interview, about him supposedly forgetting Hiccup during the ten years they’ve been apart. The reason being that there is an entire world of difference between not recognizing someone and completely forgetting that person and the six years you spend 24/7 together.

I don’t have a problem with Toothless not immediately recognizing Hiccup, especially when believing their farewell would be the last time he’d ever see him when a whole decade passes away.

Hiccup’s hair is different, he’s older, he has a beard now, he has children, he is honestly broader now in his 30s than he was in his 20s. (I’m actually wondering if he’s taller too, since a human body doesn’t actually stop growing until the age of 24-25, though that usually means it’s the brain that has finally finished developing) It’s only natural Toothless needed to take a moment and actually hear him speak before this was Hiccup who was standing before him.

But I refuse to believe that Toothless did not sometimes look at his tail and fondly remembered Hiccup. Or that he woke up from his slumber and while still half asleep wondered where his Viking had gone off to now. Or that he never had those strange moments when you suddenly think back to people you used to know or pets you used to have.

Hiccup and Toothless separating is one thing. But to actually have one of these confirmed soulmates forget the other? That is, in my personal opinion, something I cannot accept so easily.

[nadunacreates]

NANOWRIMO 2019 • WEEK TWO

•

WIP: heroes bleed red

THIS WEEK’S WORDCOUNT: 24’034 / 11’669

TOTAL WORDCOUNT: 38’752 / 50’000

•

read on under the cut for some excerpts and other fun stuff.

•

GENERAL RANT:

i had like, such a good writing week, word count wise? and it didn't really feel like it because i was (am) constantly exhausted and procrastinating and feeling like I’m writing utter garbage that will never make it into the finished work?

but I'm also having kind of fun, mostly, so that's nice :D

•

FIRST LINE BIT I WROTE THIS WEEK:

She gets an elbow to the face for her trouble, uncannily accurate and right on her cheekbone. That’s gonna leave one ugly bruise. Moe hisses and makes a face, but it’s not like a little bit of pain has ever stopped her, not like she isn’t used to it. She just makes use of her weight, throws her body forward, pins Radiant down more effectively. “Nu uh,” she gets out, “let’s not do that.”

•

LAST LINE BIT I WROTE THIS WEEK:

“I should probably get to work,” Moe blurts out then, because she cannot stand this— this. She’s not sure what to call it, and she doesn’t know what to make of it, and sometimes even a superhero has to admit that retreat is the best strategy for the moment. Even if it makes her a coward, makes Boss look disappointed, and Farren affronted. They were the ones who said that Moe should take better care of herself, so she’s doing that right now by running away from a conversation that makes her uncomfortable, makes her question things that have gone unquestioned for so long now.

•

AN UNEXPECTED REVELATION THAT HAPPENED:

there’s dragons in my story! or at least some version of them. here’s some out of context snippets of on-the-spot world building / creature development (or however you call that) for them (with bad grammar and all these first-draft-problems, so consider yourself warned):

It’s not the first time that she’s had to go up against the Mountain Beasts, but the last time was almost a year ago, if not more, and she’s never had to do it alone.

They’re not dangerous, usually, or at least not on purpose. Amethyst thinks of them as giant stupid cows who look more like wingless dragons that actual cows, but they’re herd animals and they don’t like getting separated from the herd, although sometimes the younger ones like to wander off and find their way into the city’s limits, looking for some adventure. As long as they don’t get startled, their adventures usually aren’t dangerous or even very destructive, and it’s easy to herd them back out to the mountain range where they belong. If they do get startled, or even frightened, though, the people of Calmforth City can count themselves lucky if property damage is all they have to deal with in the aftermath.

[…]

And then she hovers in front of the Mountain Beast, suspended fifteen metres in the air, no cape billowing around her in the dramatic currents of air, because only stupid supers actually wear capes, or maybe the vain ones who’ve gotten incredibly lucky until now.

The Mountain Beast looks back at her out of one large eye, then blinks the inner eyelid down, huffs out a breath. Its large head turns to the side, reveals the dark red spots down its neck that mark it as a male, and to Amethyst’s horror, there’s also scorch marks that get revealed, as though the Beast has been shot at.

[…]

“Can you do that again?”

“I have no idea!” Amethyst yells, because the blood is pounding in her ears, and the gentle, almost curious roars of the Mountain Beast are still loud enough to shake all the buildings in their vicinity. A few windows shatter.

[…]

and the Mountain Beast lets his giant tongue loll out of the side of his mouth, reveals sharp teeth as tall as the average man, two rows of them, made for ripping out entire trees for an afternoon snack and parts of the mountains for a more sustaining meal. There’s a reason these beasts got their name, and it isn’t just because they live in the mountain range beyond the city.

•

RANDOM CHARACTER FACTS I DIDN’T KNOW BEFORE:

- as may be visible from the last bit i wrote this week, MOE struggles with self-worth issues and can be a coward sometimes

- MOE was (as of my very first character development ideas) supposed to be the one very good and innocent character who fights like hell for the Good but doesn’t actually have a tragic backstory. the only thing she’s ever truly had to ‘go through’ was her best friend’s death at the end of high school. well guess what. that changed. now she’s pretty much constantly repressing trauma and i really don’t think that’s healthy? it’s probably going to change again in later drafts but for now i just enjoy writing about all the angst that this earlier betrayal by people she thought she could trust has the potential to cause.

- on the other hand KALIOPE was supposed to be the bitter, betrayed and untrusting one, but now she’s somehow friends (“we’re not friends”) with heroes and a really really big animal lover who loves to cause mischief but never at the expense of any animal’s health.

- so yay, i guess. go me for subverting the typical hero/villain tropes?

- there’s BOSS of the coffee shop where MOE works at and he’s a retired villain gradually collecting a new family via his employees? i honestly don’t quite know what his deal is. but! he’s lost an arm during his time as a villain and he’s probably going to have a bigger impact on the story than i thought possible. we’ll see where that one goes.

- FARREN is another secondary character who’s getting much more screen time that i originally wanted for them (originally, they simply weren’t there). they’re amazing, though, so it’s not like i’m regretting it. at all.

- MOE is getting a baby named after her?

- MOE is turning 25 during the course of the story? and she was supposed to get a surprise birthday party, only it’s not really a surprise anymore because FARREN couldn’t keep their mouth shut and someone used the wrong group chat. now i just have to figure out an appropriate date to have that birthday. sometime in autumn/winter, though.

- CALMFORTH CITY is actually more of a placeholder name than anything. i’m really bad at naming things, hence the Mountain Beasts and places like the Harbour and the Ruins and co. this will be fun. i have also yet to come up with a better name for heroes/villains than just that or maybe Supers. ugh.

- i’m honestly just along for the ride and constantly getting surprises. some i like better than others. there was also one more fact i wanted to mention but i forgot what is was… 

•

FUNNIEST TYPO:

Farren steamwaltzes right over him.

-

this word appears to be a combination of german and english that my brain made up, and it’s kinda funny in the worst possible way?

here’s how it was supposed to go:

“No,” Farren answers instead. “We only just learned about that. The reason for the group chat was supposed to be a surprise.”

“Yes,” Boss says, with feeling. “A surprise.”

Farren steamrolls right over him, unconcerned. “For your birthday.”

-

“dampfwalzen” resp. “niederwalzen” is somewhat the german equivalent for "to steamroll”. i just remembered the steam part but not what came after, and i have no idea where the dancing came into play XD

•

that’s it for this week! thank you so much for sticking with me this far <3

[junctionstreet]

Mantras

1. God is real.

2. God is infinitely powerful, infinitely knowledgeable, and has infinite abilities.  

3. Judgement and knowledge of others and the spiritual realm is for God Only. To do either of these, is to commit an offense. Only God knows the reasons behind the actions and conditions of others. To think and speak like you do know, is you thinking and speaking as if you are God, when you are not. You are just a human, you are not special. You are a human among billions of others humans, and if I want to feel special, then work hard, pray hard, and stay dedicated towards one tasks until you see results, rewards, and accomplishments come from them. I said pray because God has to have mercy on you and give your permission to even let you live to see your rewards, results, and accomplishments. That is how you feel special. Not by, talking and thinking as if you are God, by thinking you know something about another person and why or how they are in their current condition or state. Therefore, judgement and knowledge of others and the spiritual realm is for God only.

4. I am responsible for reminding myself of the significance of the events that occurred. Nobody and I mean NOBODY, NOBODY, NOBODY, is going to remind you of the significance of the events that took place. This puts them at risk for being forgotten. Therefore, this is an important mantra for the significance of it’s survival. I cannot expect God to come down from heaven and teach me all these things again, or when I need him to or forget. This is my responsibility to appreciate it’s significance, and live by the lessons, wisdom, and knowledge I have learned from it. What did I learn? Don’t have my children here. Don’t go north. Don’t be afraid to speak. Speak on his behalf. Actions will be rewarded. Don’t do the things that he does not like. Do not lie. LIVE BY TRUTH AND SPEAK TRUTH SO IMPORTANT (your tongue and mouth must be pure, whether what you say is good or bad). He will restore his land. He is REAL. He is REAL. Be his servant. Do not give up, just pray. Do not conduct business on the Sabbath. Do not worship other gods. Do not light insence ever. Do not light incence for other gods. Do not fail to acknowledge him. Earth is God’s foot stool. God will be there for me when I need him. Work hard and don’t give up. Be happy and look around to appreciate God’s kingdom. Give your body good meats and foods. I am forgiven for past sins. I made an oath to God. Blessed are those who tremble at these words. 

5. I am responsible for living the way that I want to live. I can judge myself heavily for how I live because ultimately it is my life. I can judge my environment and conditions, as well as what I am willing to accept - similarly to a song playing on YouTube that I do not like, I can either complain about the song, feel trapped listening to the song, helpless and emotional, or I can get up and change the song myself and play a song that I do like, because I cannot expect God to come down from heaven, walk into my house, into the kitchen, click on my YouTube playlist of likes, hit shuffle and play. I cannot expect that and because of that I have to take responsibility for judging my environment, conditions, what I am willing to accept, and take responsibility for changing it. 

Also, I must take responsibility for remembering and practicing my knowledge. I cannot expect God to come down from heaven sit down with me for every decision that I make, or come down from heaven into any new situation or environment that I am in and for him to remind me of everything I have learned, I cannot expect God to do that. God gave me a brain, I must use it. - similarly to how I cannot expect my parents to save me whenever I get absorbed into my ideas, philosophies, arguments, realizations, and enlightenments meanwhile I smell because I have not showered, I have worn the same clothes for days, I am sitting on the couch with my mouth looking weak and fragile saying “duhhhhhhhhhh”, I cannot put my parents through that because it is not fair to them, they are humans too, they have their own goals, dreams, thoughts, feelings, and mental capacity to deal with and they should not have to put aside their goals, emotions, daily living, and mental peace to rescue a grown man, middle of his twenties 25 years old going on 30 years old -So you must take responsibility for your mental well being and utilize your knowledge and wisdom to maintain it. It’s like a construction worker, who takes on a big big project, he just doesn’t run in and try to build it over night with no construction hat or gloves or a team. The construction worker does the exact opposite of that and he pulls of big major projects. Similarly to you, if you’re going to pull off big ideas, big philosophies, big realizations, big enlightenment, big arguments, big goals, big skills, big dreams, then you must go in safe and do it right by respecting/adhering to the process and adhering to the basics and starting at the bottom like everyone else. - like studying spanish, I must master chapter one, do it very solid before I move onto chapter 2 - like tackling a big idea, philosophy, or enlightenment, you can’t do it all in one day, you have to make time for it, shut it off, go rest, go play, go sleep and take care of your physical health, all while being responsible for your safety and being aware of your physical and mental state, because the truth is that no other person, is going to practice being aware of your physical and mental state for you, nor ensure that you go to sleep and put you to bed, nobody is going to put you to bed but you from now on Alex, make peace with that and accept that you are responsible. - like building a business, come up with an idea, research the market, commit, develop a business plan that identifies how many employees you will have and what they will get in return for working on your idea, also how much you will spend on marketing etc., recruit the employees and then execute the plan. - You cannot cry like a baby, just because you do not have this over night, nor can you make up other excuses as to why you cannot get it, because the truth is nobody is going to give it to you, that is your responsibility. And for you to be in denial about the fact that there’s a process to this, is very spoiled of you. And for you to be in psychological pain and distress because there are beginning stages to this that you have to complete, makes you very very weak. - so take responsibility for your knowledge. I can judge my environment/conditions I am willing to accept and take actions to create the environment. Because I am responsible for what I am willing to accept. I can judge my actions. I can judge what I am aware of because I am responsible for my actions and what I am aware of (similarly to being responsible for being aware of cars coming out of their drive way as I am riding my scooter down the street). I can judge if I am getting played because I am responsible for getting played (similarly to being equipped with business sales strategies, marketing strategies, so I don’t buy anything unnecessary and give away my financial resources. Or similarly to the 48 Laws of Powers, where it states that people with try to play on your heart (make you think they are right or you are right) and mind to get you do something without reason or thinking deeply about what is best for you and your family, Similarly to how doe doe doesn’t let anyone take advantage of him or play, he’s always observant and always a few steps ahead of the other person) I can judge if I am getting played because ultimately I am responsible for getting played. I can judge my knowledge, because I am responsible for my knowledge (ie. these rules here, my knowledge of self and principles of self, methods of what it takes to attain my goals, etc. if I know this is that way to make millions, then respect and hold yourself responsible for holding onto this knowledge and not let anyone sway you from doing something else) nobody is going to interven and say “stop stop stop! Alex your knowledge is better than this other person, don’t listen!” that is your responsibility. Be responisble for recalling, respecting, apprciating and holding onto your wisdom especially in times of decion making. Nobody is going to remind you of the right wisdom at the time you need it. It is your responsibility to have it ready and available in your mind, and the only way it will be ready and avaialble in your mind is if you practice everyday and take aciton everyday and turn it into these mantras. You are responsible for this, only you. 

Also, nobody is going to tell you how to carry yourself. Nobody is going to say, good job, you’re not coming off as overly positive, or good job you’re not coming off as inauthentic. Nobody is going to say those things. They are your responsibility to follow very strictly and without the expectation of acknowledgement or a thank you. 

Similarly to how nobody is going to thank you for completing your daily chores of picking up the poop. Because at the end of the day, that is your responsibility! You are not doing it for a thank you. You are doing it to build a work ethic. You are doing it because your father said so. You are doing it because it will teach you how to work. It will teach you about work on the days you do not feel like working or motivated, you fucking find a way to work. You find that way! It will teach you that you just go to have the will to want to learn how to work, the will to want to learn how to work through the motions (the emotions associated with not wanting to work) and this is your responsibility because nobody is going to acquire this skill but you, and nobody cares but you about your work ethic, so do your fucking chores no matter what, find a way. 

Lastly, it is your responsibility to carry yourself like a man. Nobody is going to thank you for carrying yourself like a man. Nobody is going to encourage you to carry yourself like a man. Nobody is going to tell you when you’re not carrying yourself like a man. Nobody is going to acknowledge you for carrying yourself like a man. It is your responsibility. Use your judgement hard, and take action, to act accordingly, and at the end of the day, it’s very simple, and all you must do is work on the simple stuff and follow it to a T. What is the simple stuff you ask? Use your common sense. Don’t know what common sense is? Use your common sense on how to find out. It’s all common sense. It’s all adhering to simple principles to a T without fail.  

Very important: I am also responsible for my own safety. Example: when I was plugging in the battery to the jeep. I was excited because I had just gotten a scooter. But had I been too excited, I would electrocuted myself. And that could’ve led to something serious, like my forearm or hand being amputated. Nobody can stop me and protect me in a moment like that, only I can. 

Similarly to how if a fire takes place in my house. I must be prepared. I must be responsible enough to have a fire extinguisher ready and available. I also must be responsible to have laid down a game plan. 

Similarly to how I am responsible for putting up a gate for protection, having security cameras to discourage burglers. There are all my responsibility because nobody is going to do it for me, only I can.

THIS IS VERY IMPORTANT BECAUSE you must make decisions in moments of excitement or pressure that adheres to your safety. That means you do not ride your scooter illegally without insurance or without your permit, and if a cop stops you and gives you a record and you can’t get a job, that is your your fault and your fault only. Because getting the permit and insurance was something you had to do,  nobody else, so it’s on you and your responsibility. So be wise and safe at all times, and accept that it is something you should do at all times and in all states and in all conditions. 

6. God’s Mercy, deserves thankfulness and gratitude daily. God being infinitely powerful with infinite abilities means he has the power to end it all tomorrow, similar to a human raising a finger, or brushing off an ant. God had mercy on me today for not taking my most precious mother, father, brother, uncle, grandparents, aunt, and girlfriend. God will take my mother, father, brother, uncle, grandparents, aunt, and girlfriend but when and how is up to him. I am under God’s mercy and for this I must express thankfulness. When God does take my mother, father, brother, uncle, grandparents, aunt, and girlfriend I must never question his knowledge nor his reason nor his timing, to do this would be denying his infinite knowledge, power, and abilities. God is Great. I am under God’s mercy, and I am thankful, in sickness and in health, in life and in death. 

7. It is written that God will reward me for my actions. At the end of the day, actions focused towards the acquisition of results is all that matters, and that will turn my knowledge and wisdom into wealth, riches, and truly exercise the Miracle of Mercy. Find work and work with all my might because I may not get another chance to do it. 

“Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might, for in the realm of the dead, where you are going, there is neither working nor planning nor knowledge nor wisdom” Ecclesiastes 9:10 

Also, remember that your actions are not always about you. And rewards don’t always come in riches and wealth, skill acquisition, knowledge, or wisdom. God will reward me for my actions, and that includes helping others. I may not have knowledge of what those rewards are because of my limited knowledge (spiritually) but I honor that God will reward me for my actions and that includes ALL actions. 

[eldritchsurveys]

665.

1—are you moody in the morning? >> I can be. Sometimes I wake up and my mind immediately dives into rumination mode for some reason, and that kind of ruins the morning for me. It’s like my brain goes “hey, you’re defenseless and groggy, let’s just Fuck You Up On Purpose!” Thanks. 2—have you ever behaved like a stalker? >> No. 3—do you appreciate other people’s opinions? >> I appreciate most opinions. But some opinions, while I respect that a person may have them, and respect their freedom to have them, I just don’t want to hear. 4—does baby corn freak you out? >> No. I don’t really like it, though. 5—can you lie and keep a straight face? >> Probably.

6—have you ever feared for somebody else’s life? >> Maybe a long time ago. 7—do you prefer honesty, even when it hurts? >> I do prefer it, but I also prefer that people not intentionally be hurtful when they’re being honest. There’s a such thing as tact, and I for one know that it takes a bit of practice to learn, but... at least try. 8—have you ever consulted a psychic? >> No. 9—if yes, do you consider yourself a moron? >> Well, that’s fucking rude. 10—does the opposite sex’s bo turn you on? >> No one’s body or its odour turns me on. (Inworlders, don’t interact. This ain’t about y’all.) 11—have you ever stayed in a relationship out of habit? >> Yeah. Not a romantic one, but a lot of friendships formed by circumstance rather than genuine interest. 12—have you ever deliberately not told someone that they had something in their teeth? >> I mean, maybe. I don’t always care enough to make that step. 13—what was the best decision you ever made? >> Buying this absinthe. My brain did try to shame me for it because I’m not made of money, but I refuse to let it win. Life is a fuck and this Sparks Joy, fuck off. 14—do you have a father- or mother- complex? >> Well, yeah, considering I was abandoned by one and emotionally neglected by the other. 15—if you could pick your own pet name, what would it be? >> I don’t know. Most of the pet names I’ve encountered didn’t suit me. Most of them make me feel infantilised and that’s not a comfortable or affection-generating feeling... 16—have you ever masturbated while driving? >> Regular brain: “are you fucking kidding me lmao that’s extremely unsafe” Kink brain: “man I fucking love Crash (1996) dir. David Cronenberg” 17—how do you feel when someone takes the last of something? >> If it’s something I wanted, I hate it, duh. But most of the time they didn’t know I wanted it and didn’t do it to spite me, so I have to keep that in mind. 18—how do you feel when people tell you “bless you” or “gesundheit” when you sneeze? >> I don’t really register it, tbh. I never say it myself, so it doesn’t strike me as a particularly important gesture. I still say “thanks” because that social script is built-in, of course (and because I understand that people follow that social standard to be polite, so I’m acknowledging that). 19—what are you supposed to say when somebody coughs? >> Nothing. Unless you have cough drops on you and you want to offer one, I guess. 20—do you care what’s going on in the world? >> I mean, I’m sometimes interested, but I’m not going to obsess about it. 21—do you pronounce a second “r” in “sherbet” or an “r” in wash? >> No, I don’t have that particular accent. 22—do you throw temper tantrums? >> I have meltdowns, and people who are unfamiliar with neurodivergence / complex trauma response might interpret them as “temper tantrums”. Which is fine to me, because honestly, the internal mechanisms between a toddler having a tantrum and me having a meltdown are actually pretty similar -- we are overwhelmed by things in our environment that we cannot control and we do not have the internal resources to modulate our emotional response. The difference between a toddler and me is that a toddler, raised in a healthy environment, will likely develop those resources organically, over time -- while I am responding abnormally for my age because my development was not healthy. 23—have you ever committed a violent crime because of a video game or rap song? >> No. 24—have you ever actually overheard one of your friends talking shit about you? >> Probably. 25—how many partners is too many? >> That depends on the people involved. It’s not something I should be judging on behalf of anyone else but myself. (I don’t know how many is too many for myself, for the record. Right now, one is enough because I’m still working through a lot of disordered attachment and intimacy issues.) 26—do you know what the “myspace angles” are? >> Yeah, I remember that. 27—is tom still your friend? if yes, why? >> I never kept Tom as a friend. 28—do you have a sponge frog next to your sink? >> A what? Because if this means just... a sponge shaped like a frog, we need to get one ASAP. 29—do you believe that wearing an aluminum foil hat will stop the government from reading your thoughts? >> I mean, I assume the government isn’t reading my thoughts. They don’t need to -- I’m a resident of the Internet, they can just interpret my data like they do with everyone else’s. 30—would you rather have a hook for a hand or a peg leg? >> No. 31—do you tip the carhops at sonic? >> I’ve never interacted with this element of Sonic. I’ve only been to Sonic once, and I was not in a car. I did find the overall interface there to be a bit confusing, ngl. 32—have you gotten drunk specifically to lower your inhibitions? >> Yeah, definitely. 33—how close does someone have to be for you to feel obligated to wait and hold the door for them? >> Pretty close. It’s awkward for both people when someone’s far away from the door and someone else holds the door for them. Like, neither one of us is going to die if you just let the door go and let me get there on my own time. 34—do you give “breaks” to people who don’t deserve them? (i.e. are you a sucker?) >> I used to, and now I’ve flipped to the other end of the spectrum, which isn’t great either. Trying to slide down into the middle -- not a pushover, but not cutting everyone off at the slightest perceived error either. 35—have you ever been walked in on? >> Yeah. 36—honestly, do you think you’re better than everyone? >> No, my problem is the opposite problem. 37—what do you take to a pot luck? >> I don’t know, I’ve never been to a potluck. When we went to the NYE party at Lauren’s place, Sparrow made gumbo and we brought that. My contribution was a 6-pack of pear cider... yeah, I think that’s my thing. I bring the good booze. 38—do you examine the tissue after you blow your nose? >> Yeah, man. It’s gross to me too -- you know, me, with my extreme issues with being organic -- but you can learn a lot from the consistency of the crap that comes out of your body. 39—how do you know when you are an adult? >> Well, as long as we continue to eschew traditional rites of passage, we’ll never know. 40—what is your cure for the hiccups? >> I don’t have a cure, my hiccups go away on their own pretty quickly. But now I’m reminded of that Grey’s Anatomy plot where Meredith’s half-sister’s mother died of the hiccups. (Well, there was more to it than that, but that’s the funny interpretation.)