#edit: i fucked up the dates on this post TWICE. I am so sorry

[powpowhammer]

ecclesiastical calendar

high holy days: rosh homestuck (4/13), yom star trek (9/8), yom fullmetal alchemist (10/3, also ta'anit mean girls in some parts of the world), chag ace attorney (12/24-12/25)

standard holidays: chag pokemon (2/27), yom mario (3/10), yom star wars (5/4, sometimes also 5/5 by sect), yom digimon (8/1)

minor celebrations and fasts: ta'anit homestuck I (6/12), ta'anit homestuck II (10/25), yom destiel ha'kadashboard (syncretized bacchanalia; 11/5-9)

[yuri-is-online]

Well Maybe the Octopus was Being a Dick! (Or Tsunotarou tries to do Yu a solid but he misunderstood a joke)

A/N- I am so sorry this is my first post I swear I have real writing ON GOD- EDIT- Made a part 2 with the other guys (x)

Various x Reader

"Human courtship rituals are truly as bizarre as they are fascinating."  Tsunotarou muses as you fight with your sleep deprived brain to remember how you even got on to this topic.  Today hadn't been a good day, Grim had been in a bad mood, Trein had popped a quiz on you, and Deuce had somehow managed to land you both in detention because he screwed up a potion.  By the time you managed to drag yourself back to Ramshackle, you were so tired you were practically falling over, only to find Tsunotarou pouting outside your gate.  You didn’t really have it in you to tell him no, so you’d stumbled around the woods outside your dorm for a few moments talking about… courtship?  Apparently?  You could have sworn you were just talking about some anime Idia suggested you watch.  “I never would have expected watching fish to be such a fundamental step in one’s relationship."

“Yeah there’s a thing in my world about it too.”  you say thinking about a visual novel you’d played once (or was it thirty?) times.  “Some sort of bit about a date where you go to an aquarium and when your person points out fishes they like you jump into the tank to fight them for their affection.” You blink and Tsunotarou suddenly fills your vision, staring intensely into your eyes.”

“Child of man, are you serious about this?”  he asks, and you just blink in response.  You’re pretty sure you are missing something here.

“Uh, yeah?  It was pretty funny I guess.”  you say, extremely confused.  Tsunotarou simply nods with a look of utmost seriousness on his face.

“I see, how very interesting you are child of man.  Fear not, I will make sure you receive the courtship you deserve.”  The only response you can think to give is a blank stare, but Tsunotarou is already gone and apparently on a mission.

“Fully intends to do combat for your hand but gets too distracted”- Malleus

He really wants to do this the right way, if fighting the fish in the aquarium tank will show the extent of his devotion then beloved, you need only point at the offending article and it will be turned to cosmic dust.  But you’re just too ethereal in the aquarium lighting and he ends up completely forgetting his objective in coming here and follows you around like a love struck puppy the entire time.  Whoops, objective failed successfully.

"Claims to know it's a joke, fights anyway"-Jade, Leona

Look, he knows there's no way what Malleus is claiming is even remotely true.  Your world might not have any magic, but it sounds pretty “normal” by human standards.  Fighting fish for someone’s affection?  Un-fucking-likely.  Jade enjoys being a mild inconvenience to everyone around him and Malleus really has just given him the best excuse to be an absolute menace.  He’s responding to everyone’s complaints with a put upon sigh, lamenting what drastic lengths he has to go to for your affection.  Leona’s more the type to directly tease you about it; he shredded Azul’s contracts and left him a crying mess, that’s got to count as beating up a fish right?  He’s just waiting on your response, herbivore.  

“Shrimp heaven really is now!”- FLOYD        

Doesn’t even think twice about it.  He’s already obsessed with picking fights with strong people anyway, now you’re telling him he gets to beat people up and win shrimpy’s affection at the same time?  Floyd’s kicking up his feet and giggling a little too much for anyone’s comfort, almost like he’s misinterpreted fish to mean friends.  Please prefect, Ace is begging you, just give your eel some kisses so he knows you're already his or direct him towards some actual fish before they are fuCkING UNDER ATTACK-

“Claims to know it’s a joke, overthinks anyway”- Jack, Azul, Riddle    

Ok ok look, just hear him out on this one.  Some cultures do place a significance on ritual combat to win a prospective partner’s affection.  Sure he doesn’t THINK you come from a culture like that, but maybe you do and just haven’t mentioned it this whole time and that’s why his obvious not so obvious attempts at flirtation have gone over your head.  Because he wasn’t offering to fight fish for you.  No now that he tries to say that out loud it sounds even more ridiculous BUT WHAT IF- repeat ad nauseum until he timidly (Jack, Riddle), slyly (Azul) just asks you about it and can’t decide who he’s more embarrassed for: Malleus or himself.

“Brings you actual fish”- Trey, Rook, Ruggie      

He has enough of a head on his shoulders to realize Malleus is probably misinterpreting something that was meant to be funny, but hey, it’s given him an idea.  For Rook, the idea of hunting wild game to provide you with nourishment is an idea he’s toyed with more than once.  If Roi du Dragon deems him worthy of advice, the least he can do as an appreciator of beauty is take it.  Trey’s already a fan of puns and dad jokes, and he knows A LOT of ones about fish.  Probably invites you over to help him bake it with the excuse of prepping for an unbirthday party and shamelessly teases you the whole time.  Ruggie’s the only normal man here I’m sorry to say, he just gets the idea to take you fishing as a date.  He gets to spend time with you AND supplement his diet, it’s a win-win situation.

“COMPLETELY ignores the fish thing and rags on your sleep schedule”- Vil

He’s not mad, he’s just disappointed spudling.  Really you need to be taking better care of yourself, how else are you supposed to blossom into the beautiful flower he knows you are if you aren’t getting those full 8 hours honey?  Tells you to be thankful he isn’t being unreasonable while he’s waltzing through your dorm cursing every energy drink he can get his hands on.  He will brute force your circadian rhythm back into shape so help him GOD.

[sh4wty18]

heyyyyy i was wondering if you could make a johnnie angst fic where he forgets your bday🫶🏼

you forgot my birthday.

pairing: johnnie guilbert x reader

summary: same as request with some bestie!jake moments

cw: angst, hurt no comfort, language

word count: 1.2k + edited

---

12:00 am. A text from Jake immediately lights up your screen:

jakey: HAPPY BIRTHDAY Y/N!!!! i hope you have the best day ever! im so glad ur dating my bsf so WE could become bsfs!! ilysm go slay queen 💅

You smile and type out a response:

y/n: THANK U SO MUCH JAKE I <3 U!!!!! 

You put your phone on do not disturb for the night and roll over in bed, Johnnie hadn’t texted you for your birthday yet, but that was to be expected. He was a slow texter as it is, but he was usually busy streaming or playing music at this time anyway. There was still plenty of time for him to reach out.

10:36 am. You wake up and immediately check your texts. You’d received birthday messages from Carrington, Tara, your friends from home, been tagged in hundreds of posts on tiktok and instagram, even Matt texted you (and you’d only met him once!). But nothing from Johnnie. That’s okay. He was probably still asleep. Nothing to be worried about. 

1:48 pm. Nothing. What the fuck? All you wanted for your birthday was to spend a quiet day with your boyfriend. Unlike the other friends you’d made since moving to LA, you were less likely to choose partying over spending quality time with your loved ones. Not that there was anything wrong with partying, you just happened to be more reserved. Johnnie was more quiet and anxious as well, it was something that drew you to him in the first place. You always had someone to ditch social events with. You’d figured by this point he would have texted or called and wished you a happy birthday, then you’d hang out, watch a couple movies, order food in, birthday sex– the whole nine. But no. He'd said not a single word. You tried not to bring up your birthday often in the weeks leading up to it, so as to not annoy anyone, but you know for sure you’d mentioned your birth date at least twice since you’d been dating. He had zero excuse not to know. All the other important people in your life seemed to remember, so where was he?

5:24 pm. Nothing. 

7:58 pm. Nothing. You decide to call Jake and see if he has any insight into the situation. He picks up on the second ring.

“What’s up, birthday girl?” He asks sweetly. 

“Johnnie still hasn’t told me happy birthday. I think he forgot,” you say. Speaking the words out loud suddenly makes the situation feel way more real, and you feel a familiar lump forming in your throat.

“There’s no way. He couldn’t have. He’s been out all day, I haven’t really seen him. I think he’s doing a shoot for his next music video or something. So maybe he’ll text you when he’s done? I’m sorry, y/n, I wish I could help. If you need to be with someone, you know I’m always here.”

“Thanks, Jake, you’re a great friend. Love you.”

“Love you too, I’ll text you when he gets back.”

“Thanks. And Jake… don’t remind him when he gets back. It won’t be real unless he does it himself.” 

10:15 pm. Nothing. 

12:00 am. You type out a text to Johnnie:

y/n: you forgot my birthday

johnnie <3: It’s literally next month isn’t it?

johnnie <3: Y/n…plz tell me its next month 

y/n: i think i know my own birthday

johnnie <3: No no no no no

johnnie <3: Y/n im so sorry

johnnie <3: I know how u wanted to spend all day together on your birthday. I'm such an idiot. I promise it was an honest mistake. I really thought it was next month.

You don’t answer. At 12:43 am, you hear a knock at your door. He was the last person you wanted to see right now, but you knew he wouldn’t leave until you answered, so you reluctantly opened the door.

“Johnnie, I don’t want to see you–”

“Y/n, please. Please listen to me. I’m so so so sorry. I was busy with music video stuff and I spaced. I wasn’t on my phone all day so I swear, I didn’t see anyone’s birthday posts or anything until after you texted. You can ask Jake and Carrington, they were texting me all day and I never answered.”

“I believe you, Johnnie. And I get being busy, but… it’s just like… how do you forget your own girlfriend’s birthday? Do you know how embarrassing it is? To have all my friends, fans, and even acquaintances wish me a happy birthday, but the one person I really want to hear from doesn’t? It sucks. I felt like shit all day.” 

“I know. And being busy isn’t an excuse. There isn’t an excuse. I don’t know what else to say other than I’m so fucking sorry. If I could take it all back I would. I love you so much, y/n. I- I’m so fucking sorry,” Johnnie pleads, and his eyes start to well. 

You start to tear up as well, but you don’t want him to see you cry, don’t want to make him feel worse. You’re not angry with him, and you obviously still love him, you’re just sad. You can tell he means what he’s saying, it was definitely an honest mistake, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re hurt, and embarrassed, and had the worst birthday ever. 

“I know you are. And I love you, too. I just… I think I need some space for tonight. I’m sorry, Johnnie,” you say.

“Don’t apologize, baby. I’ll call you in the morning. I love you.” He gives you a quick kiss on the cheek and turns to leave. 

You close the door behind him and sink to the floor. You pull your knees to your chest and bury your face in them, finally letting out your soft sobs after holding back tears all day. You pull your phone out of your back pocket and tap the call button under Jake’s name. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks immediately, knowing you’d never call this late unless there was an emergency.

“I need you,” you say, choking on your words between tears. 

“I’m coming over.” He hangs up.

—

Fifteen minutes later, he’s at your apartment. You’re sitting on the couch together, with you leaning your head against his shoulder and crying softly as he rubs your back.

“I saw Johnnie on my way out… he didn’t look so hot. I’m assuming this is about him?”

You sniffle, “He forgot. I can’t believe he really forgot. Sorry I'm crying, this is so stupid, I’m just… really fucking sad about it. I know he didn’t mean to, and he’s super sorry and stuff but–”

“Y/n, you don’t have to explain yourself to me. Your emotions are completely valid. He’s your boyfriend, of course you’re gonna be upset that he forgot your birthday! It doesn’t mean he’s a bad person, we still love Johnnie! But… he made a mistake and unfortunately it made you sad.” 

“I knew you’d understand,” you give him a weak smile, and he wraps his arm around your waist and pulls you into a tight side hug, resting his head on top of yours. 

“Of course. I’m here for you, y/n. Always.”

---

first hurt/no comfort fic in the books! (i'm sad)

[i-literally-cant-with-this]

SFW version ::: Dating THE fucking Katsuki Bakugo

Part II (NSFW version ::: Dating THE fucking Katsuki Bakugo)

A/N ::: I'm absolutely feral delulu (god I hate that word but it's really all that can describe accurately how insane I am) for Katsuki right now.

C/W SFW ::: Brief language. Sweet Katsuki on date with ChubbyF!reader // you // y/n, new relationship, testing the waters, sweet Katsuki. Sorry. Had to say it twice. Soft touches here and there, sweet kisses. NSFW stuff will be posted soon.

I edited this many many many many times. So if I missed anything gross, lmk.

Thinking about a fourth date with Katsuki that goes really, really well.

He picks you up in his Black Jeep that has green and orange interior (yeah, it sure does). It's a stick, too. And the gear shifter cap is a custom made piece; a black grenade. Anyway, he gets to your house and walks up to the front door wearing those fucking sexy ankle pants that fit him just perfectly. And a long sleeved polo shirt with that little alligator on it. The collar is popped up around his neck. Not because it's cold or anything. He was told by a friend of a friend of yours that you thought it was incredibly sexy that he wears it like that. Too bad his friend was fucking with him, though. You don't think it's unsexy. But you do have a hard time taking your eyes off of it. Just wondering why he wears it like that.

He holds his arm out for you as you open the door of your place and see him standing there. Looking all sorts of frickin’ handsome. You take his arm with your much smaller hand and he stops for a second to double-check your door is locked up tight. He smiles and tells you that you can never be too sure. There's a lot of crazies nowadays. It warms your heart at how considerate he is about your safety. I mean, he IS a hero. It's kind of second nature for him to be like that. But it's still sweet, though.

You're walking to his Jeep and he opens the door for you and holds your purse while you buckle up. He makes sure your feet are inside the vehicle so he doesn't slam the door on your freshly painted toenails. He'd feel like an absolute asshole if that happened. Like, how do you come back from something like that when you're just starting out dating? Nah, he knows better. He makes his way around to the driver's side, still holding your purse. He hops in, he doesn't climb in. He's so damn tall that his legs allow him to ease his sweet, tight little ass right onto the seat. Handing you your purse, he buckles up too.

His feet get into position; on the clutch and the brake, and he starts it up. The radio was on. From what you heard, it sounded like a motivational/self-help thing. You heard the words 'believe in yourself and you can accomplish anything. You … deserve to be loved, too.' He moved to turn it off so fast that it looked like he was beating it up. 

You put your hands on him. One on his shoulder, the other on his thigh, and leaned over to give him a single, self-denying kiss on the cheek. He smiled at you and you know his eyes were screaming thank you for not saying anything about this.

On the drive to the restaurant, he asked you about your week. It was hard to catch up with him throughout the week sometimes. He has a busy schedule. Still, you appreciated him asking you about how yours was. You talked about how quickly the time went by and how happy you were about that because you were looking forward to your date with him tonight.

He looked over at you at a red light and put his right hand on your thigh and gave the fat on it a tight squeeze. Your skin filled out nicely in his hand. The light turned green and you immediately  missed his fingers digging into your flesh as soon as he put them back on the shifter. It was just nice to feel his touch after not seeing him for 5 days. Though you talked, it wasn't the same as being with him.

The restaurant he's taking you to for dinner has valet parking. He pulled up to the front and tossed his keys to the valet like some kind of cool guy. It made you giggle. You saw him slip a $20 to the kid as he pulled them in close and told them if they so much as got an extra speck of dirt on his Jeep he was going to rip them a new asshole via their belly button. The kid looked at you and all you could do was shrug your shoulders at them and flatten your lips, nodding.

Katsuki walked around to your side again and stuck his elbow out for you to take. You proudly took it and the two of you walked into the restaurant and were blown away by the fanciness of it. Like, ballgown/tuxedo fancy. You looked at each other and the back at the space around you. Slowly backing away, you asked him what happened. He said he didn't know. Nothing was mentioned about super dress code attire and how do you feel about getting something on the pier?

Honestly, you didn't care if you had to eat peanut butter and jelly in a back alley with a decomposing body. You really just wanted to be with him right now. Though you reconsidered the decomposing body and swapped it for a huge dumpster.

The valet brought his Jeep back. Scratch free, and you two did the whole door dance and he drove down to the water. The lights along the walk were beautiful. Soft and white. It made his usually sharp features fuzzy and warm. You couldn't stop looking at him. At his lips. You wanted him to kiss you. Just one. Nothing too heavy. 

As luck would have it, he caught you looking at him when you thought you were being sly. Without saying a word, he cupped your cheek in his hand and leaned down to give you the one, sweet kiss you had been craving since you last were together.

It left your cheeks red, blood hot, and your body dizzy. Your eyes fluttered at the gentle gesture. He let his lips hover just out of reach for a few seconds afterward. You wondered if he was testing the waters. To see if you'd lean in for more. And oh my god, you wanted to. You wanted to kiss him everywhere. But as this was only your fourth date, you managed some self-restraint. Though you'll never know how you did. He looked so sexy tonight. He looked so sexy every time you saw him. 

The two of you made you way down the walk to some vendors and he ordered for the both of you. Some noodles and toppings you've never tried before. They were so good. You enjoyed your time there with him more than you would have at some stuffy old, high maintenance restaurant. He offered to get you a dessert but you declined.

That set him off. "You not eatin' in front of me or some shit like that? Goddamn it, you're sexy as hell. EAT SOME DESSERT!" But you told him you were still full from dinner and you'd love some dessert later. He blushed at his overreaction. You blushed, too. But for an entirely different reason.

A little later into the walk, you took a chance and reached out for his hand, taking it into your own. His palm was sweaty, and he apologized for being a little nervous. He doesn't date - like, ever. Except for you and it's still so new that everything is just a bit scary. Despite his sweaty hand, you held it anyway and laid your head against his bicep as the two of you walked further down the pier to look out over the water.

You walked all the way out to the end and leaned over the railing, dropping a few pebbles into the water that you'd picked up along the way.

"Be careful, don't fall in dum- I mean, just be careful." He almost called you a dumbass but he caught himself. It's an adjustment being around you. One that he's growing to like more and more the longer this almost ruined date goes on.

"I won't fall in," you laughed. "And even if I do, I have the best hero there is to rescue me." You blew him a kiss after you said that and he started toward you, catching it.

"I think you lost something, just now, miss. Does this belong to you?" He put his arms on either side of you and leaned over to kiss your cheeks. So. Softly. You found yourself leaning into him just to get more pressure from his lips. Pulling his head back, he looked at you. Bright red eyes looked over your face to read your expression.

"I didn't lose it, I gave it to you. 'Dumbass'." Smirking, you reached up and brushed the hair away from his forehead. "You're getting a little long up here. I've never seen - um, well, I like it either way."

Tilting his head quizzically to the left he held his breath for a second. "You've never seen ... what? You've never seen my hair this long? How long you been watchin' me, woman?" Katsuki put his hands in his pockets and kicked his feet like you told him he was the most handsome, brilliant man on the planet. 

He thinks so, so why not?

It was adorable to watch him, THE Katsuki Bakugo, squirm. And no, you weren't going to let it slide.

"Yeah, ok. So what? I watch - tuh (sounds like watched but you broke the word apart so he wouldn’t hear you openly admit you had been watching him) you. I have watched you, throughout your career. Ok, ok. God! Twist my arm. I look for things about you. Updates ... and ... well, stuff. Ok? I - I've car- been interested in you for some time." You rolled your eyes. "Are you happy now? You got me to spill my g- mmm!"

Katsuki was in front of you in no time. Kissing you before his feet had even stopped moving. His hands rest gently against the deep curve of your waist. He bent at the knees so he could be a little more face-to-face with you. You're still about 6 inches shorter than he is so the kiss had you standing on your tiptoes.

It made you feel like you were in a movie; The tall handsome blonde Pro Hero bending over to kiss the shorter (hair color) haired girl in the flowing dress at the end of the pier built out over the water. The sunset behind you seemed too overkill until the rain-pregnant clouds drowned it out, if you were being honest. But this had been the perfect evening.

Even when it started to pour down rain it was like you had been caught up in a romantic monsoon. It was a full 5 minutes that you stood there. Lip locked. Hands wondering. Hands wandering. It was one of the first instances in your life that everything slowed down. Your first slow-mo moment. And you couldn't have asked for it to be with anyone else than Katsuki. 

Taglist ::: @darkstarlight82 @arlerts-angel @millennialmagicalgirl

[starsinkpop]

what do you think if theres blogs that are not only deeply obsessing with finding out ateez members exact fs but they also discussing their potential body parts. I tried telling them how weird and gross it was of them but they tell me I was taking it too far. what the fuck? am sorry but this kpop tarot thing is what is taking ppls obsession with idols fs too far. its bordering on creepy rn and its not just one blog theres like several of them that mainly focus on idols fs.

some blogs be claiming they dont dig too much but then they still think it ok to even discuss idols sexuality or some other aspect of their personal life.

i’m not really on that side of tumblr or social media so i can’t really say much about it. i have clear boundaries. im fine with certain readings about ateez’s fs but i wouldn’t do more readings than i have online right now. we already know more than enough. i keep getting a crazy amount of asks in my inbox of people trying to fit especially san’s fs aspects. i’m deleting all of them because none of those people reading my stuff and also myself will be their fs. some people really need to touch some grass. when i see certain physical traits in a reading i point them out, however i focus on personality only. what’s bothering me is how almost everyone on here in my inbox assumes that the members are straight. making their fs a girl at all times. we don’t know their sexuality and it’s quite frankly none of our business. we don’t know if their straight or part of the lgbtq+ community. this is why i keep my readings gender neutral because we don’t know shit.

now in general i don’t want to spread any negativity because life itself is already a big struggle for most of us. i want my blog to be a place where people could just entertain themselves for a bit and. so i won’t say anything about other readers because i honestly just can’t. like i said, im not on that side of tumblr. i get your point but you have to remember you’re telling me this, im a kpop (well just ateez) tarot reader myself and i’ve done reading about their fs too so 🤷‍♀️🤣 like i said, i have my boundaries with readings, won’t do any sexual readings and i don’t focus on looks. being someone who was crazily sexualized since being a child, i really hate this side of any fandom. there’s too many obsessions going on. you wanna know what happened when i saw the most recent pool pics of the members, especially san and woo? as a gym girly i was like “woah i really need to know their routine so i can shape my body like theirs” i can just admire them. viewers here are a little too delulu and have a hard time sticking to reality and form an own opinion it feels like. and I’m sure some readers feed into that. it’s giving you a ton of likes and if that’s their main purpose for posting i guess i get it. that doesn’t mean i’m okay with that but i know many people need validation like that. whenever there’s people coming up and officially date like twice’s jihyo for example i always feel really warm around my heart. gives me the feeling they can still have a bit of a normal life.

i don’t really have anything else to say and only repeat myself. i don’t know if i’m the right person to talk to about that, i do readings and did fs readings like what you just complaint about, but i have boundaries and know what’s reality. none of us will be with any of them, ever and viewers should stop honestly believing “omg XYs fs is like this and that, i’m just like that it has to be me they have to do more detailed readings so i can make it fit for myself”.

on another note, and this is in no means anything bad or hate whatsoever, i love getting asks from you but those long asks are sometimes a bit much because im not your diary, love 🤣 no hate. but it just felt like a rant and i do really like rants but my inbox is maybe not the best place for that because i don’t want to spam any of my followers page with that you know?

edit: you can still send me longer asks, but please try fitting the stuff you want to say into one ask and not three or more 💖

[romajuliettemai]

A few more SSS incorrect quotes

I haven't posted sss stuff in a while and this has been in my drafts for forever so here we go! (Some of these were edited or created by me & take place in a past timeline- also don't ask why some of the spacings are weird idk)

Silas: Do you cook?

Roma: I made a cake once.

Marshall: Yeah, it was good.

Roma: Really?

Marshall: Don’t make me lie twice, Roma.

Orion: Some people are like slinkies.

Rosalind: What?

Orion: Not really good for much but bring a smile to your face when you push them down the stairs.

Rosalind:

Rosalind: Please don't push Alisa down the stairs.

Orion, pushing Alisa down the stairs: Too late.

Benedikt: You need to stop swearing so much. Oliver: Shut the fuck up. Benedikt: Yeah, that's not how you do it. Oliver: Alright sorry. It's just that it's hard not to swear. The words just creep up on me when I least expect it. Benedikt: Now now, don't be like that. Just replace the swear words with 'beep' and you'll be fine. Oliver: Shit the beep up. Benedikt: Oliver: SHUT, DAMMIT! I MEANT SHUT!

Orion: I've never encountered a problem that can't be solved by an spontaneous musical number.

Juliette: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!

Alisa: Uh, I think I got your lunch. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘I am very proud of you. Love, Orion’* Rosalind: Oh yeah. I didn’t think this was for me. *Holds up a note that reads: ‘Be good. For the love of God, Please be good.’*

Rosalind: I owe you one.

Orion: It's ok, you can just date me and we'll call it even *winks with two eyes*

Alisa, after getting a library card: Now I know what true power feels like. *proceeds to climb on top of the bookshelves*

Roma: Guys, Orion is missing. Celia: Good.

Alisa: I tried to write ‘I'm a functional adult’ but my phone changed it to ‘fictional adult’ and i feel like that’s more accurate.

Orion: Oliver is at that very special age where a kid only has one thing on their mind. Phoebe: Girls? Oliver: Homicide.

Phoebe: Hey! Wanna hear a joke? Silas: Sure. Phoebe: Your life! Silas: Actually, my life isn’t a joke, jokes have meaning. Phoebe: Silas...no.

Orion: Now, if I may speak for good-looking people everywhere... Oliver, rolling his eyes: Only as their rodeo clown.

Benedikt: Celia, we tried things your way. Celia: No, we didn't. Benedikt: I did it in my head and it didn't work.

Roma, clearly exhausted: Did you have to stab them? Future Katherina: You weren’t there. You didn’t hear what they said to me. Roma: What did they say? Future Katherina: "What are you going to do, stab me?" Juliette, calling from the other room while sharpening her knives on a bowl: That’s fair!

Roma, rubbing his forehead, annoyed: In what world?

Alisa: I desire moisture. Oliver: Please just say "I want water" like a normal person.

Silas: You know I think my life has value. Orion: Who are you and what have you done with Silas?!

Sorry for not having posted anything Secret Shangai in a while- just been super busy. Probably not going to be as active on here just because I literally do not have the ability to be- but I'll hop on every so often and check in! Thank you to everyone doing their best to keep the fandom alive, I'll continue to try to contribute to that! <333

[haupkmn]

Copypasted from my conversation with Jolee.

Mostly me having a breakdown while ranting

I get that me saying this much probably isn't helping anything at all but ever since this callout shit started its gotten worse. I was actually out as my family, the whole situation is complicated as fuck but basically my parents don't like other gay people and don't like that I'm "committed" to being trans. I didn't want most of my IRL friends knowing I'm a system because it's fucking embarrassing and it's a fact about me I really don't like.

People have edited my skin white knowing I'm black, people have put my face on the pictures of monkeys people have posted pictures my groomer took of me that basically count as CSEM. At one point there was an kink dating account roleplaying as me and a fucking Chris Chan ass wiki.

I get that would happen in the past was wrong and I can't change that I'm trying my best to afford from it and let everyone involve who I've actually hurt heal but literally every single day I feel like they are watching me in some sort of capacity because they are friends with one of the people who groomed me.

I'm not a liar, I'm genuinely not. I just want to be left alone so I can spend one fucking day without having a paranoid episode thinking they're watching me through some camera or somehow bugging wires in my apartment which I know probably isn't real but it's terrifying because I've had people involved with this go to my parents house and throw trash around the yard or spray paint shit on the house or go to my fucking old high school and take pictures of it at night. and I just want this to end.

There was some fucking thing I got in my submit box on my 18th birthday of someone posting a a picture of them in front of my house dabbing in front of my fucking bedroom window with my parents and I weren't home.

It's been almost five years since the shift starts I've had to move twice and change my number three or four times because some people on here keep posting and there's several blogs on here with my fucking dead name on it and I just want to be left alone.

I've explained the situation with my dog dozens upon dozens of times and I understand that no one would want to believe me because I'm apparently a liar for having shit memory or bad system communication issues or generally was a shitty person in the past.

I'm so paranoid about this because I don't want to hurt anyone, I don't want to hurt children and I never have and I'm just so scared of this continuing and some people in the mod team have spoken to them before, one or two have had callouts from them.

I'm not trying to ask for pity or anything like that because I don't deserve it but please no I'm not trying to turn you against or anything, I genuinely think that you try to apologize they harass you because they've been harassing me for trying to apologize.

I've been so fucking nervous because every day I keep getting phone calls from different places where people just scream into the phone and hang up. I'm honestly at the point where if there's a fucking kiwi Farms page about me I don't want to know it and I don't want to see it because all of this has been terrifying.

I don't like adult baby shit or baby first shit I think it's all fucking disgusting because age regression as a whole is a huge fucking trigger for me that I don't want to get into with DMS with you that you're probably going to send them. My friend who calls himself a baby for just put the two words together as a term cuz it's the best definition he has at the moment and I'm sorry I can't stop shaking and crying I literally just want to be a left alone.

We'll keep saying I want to do pity but I don't. I never wanted pity. I did do bad things

I am so scared of my family finding out that I'm allegedly a pedophile or have abused my fucking dog when I haven't. I fucking haven't I will drop everything and leave work to show you the printed out texts and vet bills uncensored and a note from the police saying my mom dragged me down to the police station and made me do a lie detector test or else she was going to bash my dog's fucking skull in with a rock knowing the exact police at that station broke my fucking spine.

I want to stop thinking that they're constantly watching me somehow or that they have something going on or they're talking to literally everyone I know to the point where I can't talk to my friends anymore, I've been avoiding my boyfriend and working away from people at work because of this.

Every fucking time the phone rings at either one of my jobs I immediately freeze thinking that they got me, they're going to tell my boss about me they're going to tell my boss that I did something even though I didn't. I literally just want to fucking rest I want to be left alone so badly to the point that I dropped every single fucking convention I ever worked for and I'm coming close just asking them to blacklist me and reject all of my applications.

At any thought that moment they could be following me, they could be watching me, I don't know what they're doing or what they're planning but they're doing something that's so scary because apparently everyone I've ever known or care about might be in contact with them if they've ever used fucking Tumblr or maybe not even just used Tumblr.

Honestly if I got a fucking text from my abusive ass mother telling me that Sunny messaged her I wouldn't be surprised. I wouldn't be surprised if someone came into my job or came to my apartment or saw me on the street did literally fucking anything like recognizing my name or my face or my voice or I don't even fucking know I want to be left alone.

It has been five fucking years and I have lost a dozens of friends because of my paranoia and my PTSD episodes and literally got diagnosed with pocd because of this, I mean I had it before but I got the diagnosis probably 2 years ago when they started talking about me supporting ddlg shit which I fucking don't. I don't want to support something that literally made me a goddamn system I don't want to support that sort of thing, I support my friend because I care about them and don't like the shit that they do I literally just want to be left alone. That's all I've wanted this entire time. I'm pissed at the mods have some sort of stupid beef with them that they can't drop but I just want to be left alone.

Day in and day out I have a mutual come to me on a non message me and say something like hey they're talking about you again and then suddenly I got a fucking screenshot on Discord which I never wanted

I don't like hearing this, I don't like seeing this or thinking about it because what unquote drama like this really freaks me the fuck out.

That's probably sounds like some sort of I don't fucking no schizo rambling or something but it's the office fucking truth I just want to be left alone because I don't know what's going to happen next.

It wasn't great waking up on my 18th birthday and seeing that someone who's really close with my groomer found out I had a not safe at work blog as a kid and was we reblogging every single weird post on it that I made with my obscure fucking trigger as the header making fun of me for being 14. The age I made when I made that blog. The fact that these people knew about that blog for possibly years where I posted pictures of myself because my groomer made me it's so fucking scary, and that they saved them apparently and they may still have them. I don't know.

Something's word genuine mistakes. I didn't know about that one Nazi newgrounds cartoon I never on a new grounds as a kid and never saw the actual animation. A mutual made fan are a long time ago when I reblogged it and not knowing what it was.

Even the big mouth shit isn't fucking true. I was drunk on call a long time ago with some ex friends when they pointed out I used to dress like one of the characters from the show and we all started joking about kinning from the show assigned each other characters. I haven't fucking seen it I don't have a fjckkng Netflix account.

This isn't fun. I never enjoyed this. I don't want this. Literally all I want is to be left alone and be some fucking guy on the internet and not have people constantly tracking my whereabouts on my jobs or what fucking ever I don't care. I was never run off I remade because people kept posting my old phone number

I just want to be left alone

[insomnaticwriter]

you said you had some stories about your ex you really wanted to tell? (if you’re comfortable with that, ofc- feel free to ignore this)

Edit: THIS IS LONG AS FUCK IM SO SORRY- don’t read unless you want trauma(?) dumping about my ex :) this was a straight up therapy session, I broke all the “don’t trauma dump on the internet” rule. I apologize. Still posting it tho. Good luck :)

👀 which ex- the one I was talking about was my most recent, our relationship lasted a year and a half, we met online and met about 8 months or so in our relationship maybe less, I saw her twice in a matter of a year and a half, both for a week at a time I stayed at her house on whatever break I had available at the time, I think it was fall break and winter. SO NOW THAT BACKGROUND IS OVER.

She had a HUGE issue with me going to school- like any time I talked about it she was mad, any time I talked about wanting to go to college she would try and convince me not to go saying it was useless and it would be idiotic to go because education doesn’t matter because you die either way. We didn’t have many issues (at least ones that were brought up at the time we dated) but this was one of them. Just… me going to school. When I would try talking about it she said VERBATIM “don’t talk about school it makes me sad.” Because she dropped out.

Another was me working. I started worked at 16 and I’m 18 now. 17 when we broke up. I started working and applying to jobs when we were dating, this was when we started to have issues. I’d text her at work, I’d call at school but it never seemed to be enough, she needed to have all of my time or it wasn’t enough. It was getting to the point when I would literally count the minutes of the day I had alone. I still remember. 10 in the morning, 7 when I walked to work, if she didn’t call, and maybe 15 minutes before she called when I got home. This wouldn’t of been an issue but whenever I wanted to go to a school event or work an extra hour or just go out with friends it became a fight and I isolated myself so bad that my friends legitimately held a literal intervention. Sat me down and told me something had to change because I wasn’t my self anymore.

The next thing was therapy. She had.. issues which I won’t share on the internet but they were major and she needed help, something I couldn’t provide her, that I was probably too young to handle at the time, honestly anyone would be too young to handle, including her. Anyway 💅🏻 there were always two sides, I didn’t have it bad enough to need therapy and I shouldn’t go and that she needed it for years and never got it and I just got it when I asked for it OR that I was bipolar and impulsive,m and “crazy” when I did stuff like dye my hair or hang out with friends.

Lol this is long as fuck I’m sorry-

When I tried to tell her that I was gender whatever the fuck I am. Basically tried telling her I wanted to buy a binder and she told me as soon as the words left my mouth that she just couldn’t handle that and it was too much for her.

There was other things like this, like I was expected to handle everything she threw at me and basically got into trouble when I couldn’t handle her breakdowns or mental issues and tried my best but didn’t know what to do, but she always told me my depression or anxiety was nothing and there was no reason for me to have them. And when she told me I didn’t have enough trauma, and then I told her more, she said it was too upsetting to hear.

Also I’m 99% sure she cheated on me. She definitely emotionally cheated on me but I think she also slept with someone else.

WHICH IS JUST A WHOLE OTHER STORY, should I tell it? Hmmmm? Ask me if you want me to share it idc I will. No filter. Not one.

She slept with someone else 12 hours after we broke up and then called me crying about how this other girl didn’t like her and how bipolar she must be because “how can you sleep with someone but not like them.” And how much she liked her and then I asked why the hell she was talking to me about this when we had JUST broken up. We broke up, I went to bed, got to work and she called me doing this- it was weird. She also stayed at her house for two or three days before this happened 🫠

Some other stuff that didn’t bother me as much is that she smoked and did drugs, she’s actually the one who introduced me to weed. But she did it in excess, like every 30 minutes she would get high, every few hours she would smoke a cigarette, every other night she would drink. Her and her friends would get smashed. She was 16-18 when I knew her.

ALSO WE WATCHED YOUNG ROYALS TOGETHER AFTER WE BROKE UP, I WATCHED IT LIKE FIVE TIMES BEFORE THAT BUT WE LIKED IT TOGETHER AND I HATE THAT.

she also texted me 6 months after we broke up saying I was a dumb bitch.

The funny part is my first girlfriend, my other ex, WAY WORSE 🥴

I have some wild ass hookup stories too. I’m bored and willing to share everything on the internet so WHY NOT-

I feel as if you were probably looking for fun light hearted stories- sorry anon! I think I have some if I look hard enough in my file cabinet brain!

[starwriterulia]

Thoughts from the past month and a half, I guess

TW: depression, mention of loss of adoptive father.

Disconnected flow of thoughts, read at your own discretion.

Working on my book series is cathartic not just to play with my ideas but because I have an irrational fear that no woman will ever be romantically interested in me, all because my personality disorder beats me up with my own memories. Faina Laward is literally living my dream by having Karma Brestin and Ba'al Berith as her love interests. I have my own character and love interests in the books. Faina is a physically suitable heroine, I'm not.

The thoughts that kept me up until 6 AM which my quetiapine now mostly quell occasionally shit on my self-esteem whenever I can’t occupy my brain with writing, videos or games. The thoughts include my high school memories, the entire holiday season of 2019, as that was when I lost my adoptive dad, and my status as a single bisexual panromantic woman who has only ever been hit on by cishet men. I have no social life because I realized that, even online, I’m not good at it, even when I push myself to meet new people, (that’s a fucking lie, see the next paragraph). I at some point in the past two months or so realized I was stressed, overstimulated and underappreciated by my two ex-boyfriends, while my LOTRO kinship friends, who I barely talk to simply because I don’t open Discord everyday, which is definitely part of why I ghost people, oops, have shown the most love to me in the past year.

I have and can be a good, attentive friend. I know it’s probably my self-isolating schedule and lifestyle, but even as an almost always online person, non-cishet men very rarely PM me when I join a new server. A couple weeks ago, a woman needed to chat with someone as she was mentally preparing to leave her cheating and neglectful husband. We talked for maybe two days. She wasn’t overwhelmed or intimidated by my many layers. I had edited my introduction post in that server twice. After the first time, a rude INTJ cishet man who I don't think actually understood that I wasn't interested in his comics, which he didn't show me so I could compliment him, nor care about his writing group which he didn't tell me about in any further detail, and how his first message questioned the critical state I was in, that day, desperately needing to talk to someone after having socially isolated for at least a month, in a way that just urked me and made me afraid and impulsively fear him as a psychopath. All because he had allowed me to be open, as I prefer to be, without offering anything in return but words akin to "I'm sorry". Fucking bullshit. As a result, him and I had a huge disagreement, insultied each other, and blocked.

Do I just have horrible luck? My brain doesn’t help me at all, or at least that's how I remember all of my friendship attempts going. I’m so miserable, I feel abandoned and unloved by the people who make me awe and remember the good parts of humanity. And I'm become afraid of talking with them because so many of them have already been hurt in social situations. All of my K-pop Twitter friends have their own groups and are dating each other. I haven’t talked to any of those people in over a year, as a result. I desperately just want non cishet men to socialize with. It shouldn’t be this hard, but it is.

It’s almost like I have ADHD going on with my autism, yee fucking haw! 

As a Virgo INFP (I probably would be INTJ if my foster parents had given a shit, thus preventing my personality disorder), things can get really sad in my brain. I do my best to just allow myself to be sad ‘cause I’m home and in my bedroom all the time, so I can just yeet myself into bed and cuddle my Zhongli body pillow and talk to whatever character my brain says will do the trick. I should totally have a Kokomi body pillow too lol. I talk, cry if my brain and the scenario I create allows for it, and work my way towards a joke, a cute platonic or romantic moment so I can get back to writing, or take a “hippo nap” if it’s day-time or my meds half an hour early if it’s ten o’clock. I've had scenarios where I roleplayed for two hours and looked at my phone wishing it was ten or 10:30. The scenarios reboot a lot, especially if I’m trying to roleplay interacting with women or queer people to comfort myself. 

Yeah. I’m used to playing by myself. Probably to my downfall. I came out as pansexual when I was fifteen, right around the time Mom was trying to help me figure out why I was so miserable. I still adore and feel attracted everyone. I just kept looking at people and realized the masculine and feminine presenting people get me the most excited, make me blush, smile, awe and rewind to examine what they looked like. God, I love fashion, it’s so great. There’s so much to learn and unpack, and I don’t even know where to start to tell you about that!

Sigh. Oh. Oh, that helped, shit. OK, well, time to take my meds. I'm gonna go lay down and think happy thoughts, imagine myself on my magic train to the North Pole filled with singing and dancing idols, and all of that fun stuff. Y'all can ask questions and talk to me if you want. Take care everyone, bye.

[nothere-notthere-nowhere]

Oblivious

Word count: 1509

Genre: fluffy as fuck

Pairing: Wanda x Fem!Reader

Warnings: very brief mention of trauma (nonspecified), let me know if I need to add any

Summary: When Wanda goes on a date with Vision, you’re left to question your feelings while Natasha laughs at you.

A/N: Hi, this is my first piece I’m posting. I’ve been a long time reader on this hellsite but this is the first time I’m actually posting my own writing. I’m open to feedback! Forgive any mistakes, I did not edit this :)

You weren’t necessarily a jealous person. Well, you had been, but you moved past it. You learned that you didn’t, and shouldn’t, be possessive of your friends. It was hard, coming into a new place and wanting the pretty girl with long brown hair to spend all her time with you. Especially since you’d never had a friend before.

But now, you were questioning your sanity.

Wanda had announced to you that she was going on a date. Your heart sunk and something close to rage was burning through your veins. You couldn’t understand why! Wanda had talked about Vision before and you always had to remind yourself that she was friends with the other Avengers too. It had never bothered you this much.

But you had to come up with a bullshit excuse as to why you couldn’t gush about what she would wear or where they would go, because you thought your head was going to explode. You knew Wanda was upset by that, but you needed to figure this out.

“I seriously don’t understand what’s going on!” You pulled at your hair in frustration. “I mean seriously, I thought I’d worked through all the trauma and shit. Like Wanda’s not even my only friend. But she was talking about him and I got so mad, Nat, like so, so mad.”

Natasha snorted at you, watching you pace with an amused smirk.

“For real, like, am I a terrible person?” You paused your pacing to stare at her in horror. “I have no claim over her and I’m acting like a-a possessive a-and controlling piece of shit!”

“Okay, calm down.” Natasha told you. She patted the couch beside her for you to sit but you’re too busy overthinking. 

“I can’t calm down! I should be happy for her. But I’m just so angry and I don’t even know why! Vision’s not a terrible person. I mean technically he’s a robot, which is a little odd but-”

“Y/N, relax.” Natasha stands and grips your shoulders, forcing you to look at her. “You have a crush.”

“On Vision?” Your face squished up in confusion. “No, Nat, I’ve talked to him like twice.”

“No, idiot,” She sighs heavily. “On Wanda.”

“No-” You start but then your eyes widen and your jaw drops comically.

Natasha barks out a laugh at your horrified look, only gaining volume as you burn bright red. Clint walks into the living room, taking in the scene and furrowing his brows in suspicion.

“What’s going on here?” He asks, taking in the way the gears are turning in your head.

“I’m gay.” You say confusedly. 

“Yeah?” Clint looks like he’s waiting for you to continue. “Wait is this supposed to be news? I thought everyone knew.”

Natasha is overcome with another wave of laughter and you scratch your head lightly. It made sense, you supposed. You had never taken an interest in boys but you had figured that was because of your upbringing. They don’t exactly give assassins in training a lesson on feelings.

“Oh my god!” Natasha shoves your shoulder lightly. “How are you so oblivious?”

“Well, we’re friends.” You stutter out, still confused. “I thought this was normal!”

“Do you feel like that towards me? Or anyone else?” Natasha rolls her eyes.

“But you’re, like, old.” You dismiss, before squeaking out, “I mean, not old, Nat, but like, Wanda and I are the same age, you know? You’re not old! But you’re not as much a friend as like…. An older sister?”

Natasha’s eyes soften, the corners of her lips quirking up just slightly. You can see the words meant a lot to her, even if they were to cover up an insult. It was true though, Natasha had always had your back. She’d shown you the ropes, made sure you were comfortable, and she was always there for advice. Like the big sister you never had.

“Well, kid,” Clint broke the moment, “now that you’ve had your gay awakening, maybe you should tell Wanda how you feel.”

“What?” Your stomach lurched. “How’d you know-”

“The two of you are inseparable. You literally melt when she’s around.” Your cheeks burn a little at his words. “Seriously, kid. For someone who was trained as a spy, you don’t have an ounce of subtlety.”

“Well, she’s with Vision now anyway.” You can’t help the jealousy and almost sadness that twinge your stomach. “It doesn’t really matter.” 

“I wouldn’t be too sure of that.” Bucky muttered as he passed through the living room.

“Woah, how does everyone know about this but me?” You ask incredulously. Bucky shakes his head at you lightly, a small smile on his face before he leaves the room. 

“Seriously, guys,” You glare at Nat and Clint, “I just figured out I’m gay. Can we at least pretend like it wasn’t obvious.”

“If it’s any consolation, I don’t think Ms. Maximoff knows.” FRIDAY’s voice only makes you groan. 

Nat and Clint begin to laugh at the AI’s teasing but they’re cut off by Wanda storming through the living room. Her head was down, a slight red glow about her, as she passed the group standing by the couches. 

“Wanda?” You call lightly, but she doesn’t stop.

“Ms. Maximoff did not enjoy our date, it seems.” Vision slides through the wall, scaring the shit out of you.

“Stop doing that! And wiat, what?” You question, clutching your chest where your heart was racing. 

“She does not want to be with me.” Visions tells you simply. “She is upset. I do not know why.”

You stand there, wracking your brain for possible explanations. She had been so excited for this date. She’d talked about it for hours the day before, much to your annoyance. So, why would she have been so upset?

“Y/N,” Natasha snapped in front of your face. “Go after her.” She looked exasperated.

“Right!” You stumbled over your own feet racing after your best friend.

But you couldn’t bring yourself to knock on the door. Now that you knew you liked her, it all made sense. Of course you’d be jealous of Vision being able to take her on a real date. So, you stood at her door, trying to figure out what exactly you were going to say to make her feel better, if you even could.

“Y/N, come in already.” Wanda’s soft voice made your heart flutter. Your cheeks burned as you pushed open the door.

Wanda was sitting on her bed, leaning up against her headboard, knees pulled into her chest. She looked nice, even though her brows were furrowed the way they were when she was thinking hard about something.

“What happened?” You asked her, moving to sit on the bed. Your body was tense. Part of you was happy she wasn’t going to date Vision, but that didn’t mean you wanted to see her upset.

“We got as far as the zoo parking lot when I realized that I couldn’t do it.” Wanda fiddled with the crystal on her necklace. “It took going out with Vision to realize that I’ll never be able to feel anything for anyone else.”

“Anyone else?” You questioned. “Wanda, you’ll find someone. We’re still young! You have plenty of time to-”

“No, Y/N,” She gave a small, nearly sad, smile. “I found someone.”

“Oh,” the words startle you. Wanda had never mentioned someone else. The two of you were supposed to be best friends. She found someone and she didn’t tell you?

“It just took half a date with someone else for me to realize that what I feel for her isn’t platonic.”

“What do you mean?” Your eyes were wide as you searched hers for something, anything, readable. The only other girls she was friends with, that you knew, were Natasha and maybe Pepper. But that wouldn’t really make sense.

“I don’t want Vision. I don’t want anyone, really, except you.” You can hear a slight shake in her voice. “I don’t know why it took so long to realize this but, I don’t just have love for you as a friend. I really like you, Y/N.”

“Oh,” You nod. “I’m sorry. This is just a lot. Natasha just told me I was gay like twenty minutes ago.”

Wanda giggled at you. “I guess we’re both a little oblivious, huh?”

“Can I kiss you?” You blurt out, staring at her. “Sorry, uh, let me… It took you going on a date with Vision for me to realize I like you too, or, well, Natasha pointed it out. I was so angry. I thought about beating him up.”

“Y/N,” Wanda pulls you from your rambling. 

“Can I kiss you?” you ask again, too focused on her to be embarrassed. 

Wanda nods, fighting the big grin on her face. She cups your face gently, pulling you to her. Her lips are soft against your own and her hands are warm, her skin smooth. Your head is spinning as you lean into her touch.

Clint was right, you do melt.

[wowsoboring]

Deconstructing baseless Harry Potter arguments #1: Harmony Edition

There’s a very helpful account on instagram (this instagram page merely gathers toxic harmony shippers, they don’t ship Harmione or hate all Harmione shippers, please don’t send them hate, show them love and support) where you can essentially find stupid fucking bashers who make baseless arguments. I’m all for Harmione shippers, as long as they don’t denounce Romione, bash Ron and just peacefully co-exist. To my pleasure, such people are out there: they just dont seem to be seen as often as the ones that are not nice. Maybe all I see is the mean people and the majority is nice, but in this post, I am attacking those who make baseless claims and bash Ron/Romione/Hinny/Ginny. I don’t myself hate all Harmione shippers. On top of that, as a Romione/Ron fan, i do acknowledge Ron’s character flaws along with Hermione’s and I hold them on the same pedestal.

This is copied directly from my own instagram page, granger.weasley_ on ig.

Anyways let's get deconstructing

1)

rebuttal:

Yeah okay mf; maybe don’t compare real-life relationships with fucking fictional ones. Your relationship going wrong has nothing to do with Ron/Hermione. It has everything to do with you and your ex: the *real life* people involved in it.

2)

rebuttal:

The weird subreddits and discord servers also seem to have a lot of die-hard Harmione “non-canon” shippers. They bash Ron and Romione (along with Ginny and Hinny) with a burning passion without any objective sense of remorse. They ignore all the merits of Ron’s character and bash him to push their agenda. They can’t even do so much as fucking acknowledge any of Hermione’s character flaws but still somehow manage to fixate on that one time when 11 year old Ron just shit-talked one line while Hermione had just publicly humiliated him in front of the Charms class and practically shouted at him for doing the spell wrong just before. I personally don’t because Hermione was 11 too and wasn’t that good at social cues that early on, which is more than okay. Neither am I.

Only a few people in the Romione fandom bash Hermione. And it’s not like Harmione shippers (most, not all!) don’t bash Ron and Ginny remorselessly, right? The fucking hypocrisy.

If someone considers Ron as the best member of the trio, it is their own opinion and not a fact. I do that. If you consider Harry and Hermione as the best member of the trio or in the whole wizarding world, most people don’t give a flying fuck and probably won’t argue with you because it is simply an opinion. That will only happen when you pass that off as a fact.

Statistically speaking, most (not FUCKING all) Harmione moments are in the movies. The weird dance scene especially. The passionate kiss that happens in Ron’s vision, shit like that. Ron is pushed to the sidelines in the last set of movies while Harry and Hermione show each other endless love and support. “I’ll go with you”. The books on the other hand, describe Harry and Hermione as siblings multiple times, with very little Harmione references.

3)

rebuttal:

So you don't want us to fixate on the large majority of Harmione shippers who do the exact same thing, just kissing Hermione's and Harry's ass and hating on Ron. However you will fixate on people who are most likely not EVEN bashing or hating but pointing out a few character flaws in Hermione in a fair and unbiased way. I would know, I'm a huge fan of Hermione as an individual character (in the books). The only criticism I've seen of Hermione to this day has not been bashing. In the comment section of my own fics (shameless plug) I've seen some Hermione bashing. On an ao3 comment section. And I've seen so damn fucking many people bashing Ron, Ginny, the Weasleys etc. and garner tens and thousands of upvotes on quora.

What does Ron even need excusing for? The running away incident and Krum. What does Hermione need excusing for? Canaries, contributing to Ron's insecurities by making him jealous through Cormac and Krum even though she didn't even like them (especially not Cormac, she fucking hated him). Ron wore a locket that literally highlighted his fatal flaw (insecurity) in an echo chamber. Harry kept getting annoyed when Ron wanted to check in on his family. Harry asked Ron to leave; Ron didn't say that shit in the books about Harry's parents being dead: that was plain shock value.

And sorry for repeating myself but I have seen quite a few Harmione shippers bash Ron and Ginny and excuse every single thing Harry and Hermione have done.

4)

37 upvotes on this weird comment that makes no sense? Echo chamber alert! You know what us Romione/Ron fans all have in common? We have never experienced such an echo chamber. I made a pro Ron/Romione post on reddit and got a considerable amount of people who bashed Ron and Romione in the comments.

The amount of Hermione haters is very few compared to Ron bashers. Nobody hates Hermione for being independent, determined, etc. We dislike perfect movie Hermione who’s an unrealistic image of females and seems like some sort of agenda than a real woman. Most Romione shippers/Ron fans and book fans in general (except for you apparently) dislike movie Hermione and still are fans of realistic book Hermione. Most, not all. In general, we do not claim anyone who does the exact same thing to Harry and Hermione that these sorts of Harmione shippers do to Ron, Romione, Hinny and Ginny. I say this on the behalf of all Romione shippers and Ron fans.

Ron's not a bitchy lay-about drama causing loser. That's Steve Kloves's movie Ron. In the books Ron is realistic and simplistic and apologizes whenever he causes problems. He acts up substantially twice in a span of 7 years where he is also a hormone-fuelled teenager.

This is so contradictory and juxtaposed to the point of near delusion. First you talk about how Romione shippers bash Hermione and then you bash Ron as a Harmione shipper. Mate, fighting fire with fire will get you called a hypocrite. Fix yourself.

5)

So the movies are fine when they work according to your agenda? And yes how dare he add such a (fake) chemistry fuelled moment between Harry and Hermione while defeating the entire purpose and groundwork for Romione, the sadness caused by Ron leaving and so many more things? Those Harmione moments you mention seem friendship -esque more than anything else.

Steve Kloves's moments ruined many things while just paying fan service to the Harmione fans he'd birthed through years in the course of 6 movies where he showed Ron as a, how you so eloquently describe it, lay - about drama causing bitchy loser, Harry as one dimensional and Hermione as a zero - dimensional Mary Sue who might as well be the main titular character. Obviously Harmione fans such as yourself don't see the problem with it as it fits your narrative

6)

We do care about Harry and Hermione at large. Most Romione shippers rightfully bash Draco, Pansy, etc. not particularly Harry and Hermione, that's quite rare. Harry and Hermione can get along without Ron as friends. Ron and Harry can also get along without. Hermione as friend. So can Hermione and Ron without Harry as friends or more. I don't understand your point and how what you said is any different than Romione or Ronarry’s friendship.

7)

Constant arguing is not what they do. They bicker, they apologize, and sometimes they just do it for the heck of it. They are argumentative teenager. Opposites attract doesn't work in the sense of fire and ice, it works in the case of Brownie and ice-cream. Ron is passionate, laid back and insecure. Hermione's passionate, a workaholic and not as insecure. Ron can help her get calm and composed and get her to give herself a break. Hermione can motivate Ron and re - enforce his confidence.

It wouldn't be step incest. Harry and Ginny do not regard each other as siblings. They do not look similar whatsoever. And a Harmione shipper also bashes Hinny and Ginny along with Ron and Romione? Checks out

" that fucked up Harmony" hahaha. What?

8)

Are you literally going to date someone on the basis of what Harry Potter ships they prefer? That is so shallow end depraved. Your Harry Potter ship preferences should not be the groundwork for your dating life. Please understand that. Harry Potter is a fictional world which is not real. Hogwarts doesn't exist. Magic doesn't exist. I sound like a Dursley but that's what it is: a fictional realm with fictional character. I would personally not give a fuck if my best friend or significant other was a Harmione shipper. In the case of them being a Ron basher, I would ignore it as if it was just a minor inconvenience and something we wouldn't be discussing and that's how it should be with you. Fuck BuzzFeed, your opinion on what Harry Potter ship / character is your favorite says squat about your personality and relationship with others in a romantic or platonic context. But who cares? Live your life however you want. I'll be stoic.

9)

It's not opposites attract rubbish or high school opposites attract. Ron and Hermione aren't polar opposites like I said, they are a bit different but similar too in many ways. They have a lot more in common than Harry and Hermione. Ron and Harry have the most in common. Both Ron and Hermione are passionate, loving, argumentative, caring, etc. Your argument lacks substance. It's biased trash. And what does “obhwf " mean?

---------------------------------

at the end of the day, i’m just an annoyed teenager. I try my best to be open-minded to people but only as long as they are too. I tried to use my brain more than my feelings for this post. 

[achubbydumpling]

Consider this: slightly chubby office worker bucky and lean, muscular steve who has a huge crush on him.

They work in the same department so Steve is always sneaking him food and rubbing his belly for him. Poor bucky keeps outgrowing his shirts and his pants barely go over his ass anymore but he doesn't wanna stop.

Bucky finally has to work from home when he gets too big for his office chair and his belly is almost constantly hanging out. All thanks to steve, of course.

Hello! I'm sorry for only answering this now, buuuuut this ask made me think of a very specific scenario for some reason? So, I hope you'll enjoy reading this... imagine? ficlet? this is neither edited nor proofread, so I apologize for any mistakes

Alright, I immediately jumped to Bucky working from home because he's outgrown his office chair. Maybe he hit the weight limit, maybe he's just gotten too wide to comfortably fit between the arm rests. Maybe he’s a gainer in this? In any case, he applies to work from home, and they grant him the request (anything to facilitate the kink, right? :D)

Rating: Mature Words: 1638 Relationship: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers Additional Tags: Stuffing, Belly Kink, nicknames (pig), allusions to masturbation, mutual pining, maybe slight dub-con (Bucky doesn't know he's unmuted and Steve doesn't tell him right away)

The only requirement is that he has to be "on call" the entire workday. So, the next week on Monday Bucky sits down at his desk at home and logs in to the program his company makes him use for those calls.

And of course Steve picks up. The guy Bucky has had a not so subtle crush on since basically his first day. The blue eyed, blond haired subject of all of Bucky’s dreams, who is also the guy that Bucky has been eating his weight in junk over, because Steve keeps bringing in baked goods and Bucky can never say no to Steve.

On the other end of the call Steve is nervously chewing on his pencil until he finally hears Bucky’s warm voice say “Good morning.” A huge grin appears on his face without him wanting it to, but this is Bucky. So, of course he’s grinning like a maniac.

Bucky is just… Steve had tried to explain it to Nat once, but all he’d gotten out was a stupid “wow”, while grinning the same way he was right now. So, maybe he had a bit of an office crush, it’s normal when you spend 8h a day together, right? Bucky’s video feed is off and Steve is glad he didn’t stupidly turn his own camera on. He was debating it while he waited for Bucky’s call.

“So, do I just do my work, while I stay on this call or…?” Bucky asks when Steve didn’t respond. Steve scrambles out of his daydreams and nods. Then he remembers to actually say “Yes.”

“Alright,” was all that Bucky said and then the little red mute symbol pops up. Steve groans and rubs his hands over his face to get rid of that stupid smile.

“What’s up?” Bucky chimes back in, when Steve yelps in surprise, he adds, “you didn’t mute yourself. I could hear you… being annoyed, I think.”

“Sorry, Mondays.”

“Yeah,” Steve hears something crunching, “though my day has actually been pretty good so far.”

“Are you eating breakfast right now?” Steve looks at the clock—9:03 am.

“Nah, post-breakfast snack. I was craving something crunchy like those pig's ears you brought in on Friday.”

“That just sounds disgusting. Just call it a palm heart or a palmier.” Steve said the name of the pastry in a French accent in an effort to make Bucky laugh and when he did, his heart fluttered with a burst of warmth.

“Well, I’m having some cereal to make up for not having any pastries around.”

“Some?” Steve asked. He sobered quickly at the mention of what Bucky was actually eating, he hated how badly he was hiding his excitement at hearing what Bucky was eating. He’d been “subtly” pushing food on him since Bucky had first started working at the office. Steve doesn’t know a lot about flirting, but providing food seemed like a natural place to start.

Except he’s been stuck there for close to a year now. Every day he’d promise himself to finally ask Bucky out when he brings him one of the pastries, he brought in from that bakery on his way to the office, but when he’s actually looking at Bucky’s face, that lights up when he sees the sugary treat, Steve can never work up the courage and just slinks back to his own desk. And now Bucky wasn’t even in the office anymore.

Because you’ve fattened him up too much, a traitorous voice whispers in the back of Steve’s mind. It not like Steve was forcing Bucky to eat what he brought in, but all those treats right there in the break room surely weren’t helping with Bucky’s expanding waistline. Or those lunches they started taking together, where Steve always suggested they go out to eat instead of sharing a packed lunch in the break room. So, yeah, Steve wasn’t really at fault. Then why did he feel so goddamned proud whenever he saw Bucky’s shirts getting too small and the armrests on his chair digging into his plush sides?

Steve snaps back to reality when Bucky starts talking again.

“Just a bowl-full. Well, this is my second bowl, but cereal is pretty much mostly air, right?” They talk (argue) about what’s the best cereal after that, then what Bucky had for breakfast and then they somehow spend the entire morning talking like Bucky was still in the office and not all the way across town. Bucky refills his bowl twice before lunch rolls around at noon.

“Well, I’ll see you after lunch.” Steve reluctantly leaves his desk.

“I’ll be here!” Bucky calls before Steve takes of his headphones and heads into the breakroom to scarf down his lunch. He knows Bucky will probably only get back on the call once he has to work, but some small part of Steve hopes that if he eats fast enough he’ll get to spend at least part of his break chatting with Bucky.

When he makes his way back to his desk, Steve pops his headphones back on, plops down on his chair and immediately freezes at what he’s hearing. Bucky isn’t muted. Steve is listening to Bucky eat some kind of pasta dish, a very saucy pasta dish from the noises he can hear every time Bucky takes a bite and sucks the spaghettis he missed into his mouth. This is Steve’s personal hell, he thinks, it can’t get any worse than this.

Steve is just about to tell Bucky he’s unmuted when he hears him say, unmistakably, “Fucking pig.” It can get worse.

“Such a fat fucking pig.” Bucky muffles his moan with another mouthful of food. He must be close to finishing his food Steve thinks, then he blushes at realising he knows what Bucky sounds like when he’s getting full.

Bucky’s headphones must be lying on the desk, because they pick up the slide of skin on skin perfectly and Steve leans closer to his monitor even though there isn’t an image. He presses his hands over his headphones to make sure he hears all the little sounds Bucky is making and then he jolts back when Bucky burps loudly.

Steve’s eyes scan the office to make sure no one saw him jumping around on his chair like a scaredy cat, but no one is around. No one is around to see Steve listen very intently to his co-worker eating lunch. Stuffing himself.— Brain.Steve scolds himself, but then Bucky moans again and Steve can’t help but scoot his chair closer. One, to hide his growing erection and two, because logic has left his brain and he needs to get closer to hear better apparently. Steve turns up the volume and then takes his headphones off to make sure it’s no so loud that anyone walking by could hear the sound.

“Fuck, so good,” Bucky groans and Steve can hear his cutlery cluttering onto the desk. He can hear clothes rustling and suddenly the sound of Bucky rubbing his hands over the taut skin of his belly is back. It overtakes the connection for a long moment, that and Bucky’s shallow breathing.

“Best penne and pizza? Yeah, I can believe that.” Steve can hear Bucky’s chair groaning under him. Three suffering clicks from the chair and another pained belch from Bucky.

“If you keep eating like this you’re gonna get fat, Barnes.” Bucky chuckles to himself, “well, fatter.” Bucky exhales heavily, Steve can hear him shift again and his breathing gets heavier.

“Only thing missing is dessert. That’d make a real glutton outta me, not just overeating at lunch, but eating more sugar after,” Steve hears the familiar sound of Bucky popping his button to get comfortable, but Bucky doesn’t stop there, Steve hears the zipper being pulled down too. Steve’s heart skips a beat. Is he gonna—

“Get some feeder to bring it to me, some rich chocolate cake. No, ah, those little cake pops, that— that Steve brought in.” Steve holds his breath when he hears his own name in Bucky’s voice, the emphasis Bucky puts on his name.

“Steve—” He hears a bottle cap being snapped open. Ok, nope, this is too far, Steve decides and reaches for the mouse.

“Oh, my God, Bucky. You’re unmuted!” Steve just about shouts into the microphone. He immediately hears something clatter to the floor and then Bucky swearing.

“Fuck, I’m so sorry. I was just— This isn’t what it looks like. I’m— I was— How long were you listening?” The tips of Steve’s ears are burning and the blush is working it’s way down over Steve’s face.

“A few— just a bit. You said my name.” Steve adds, hopeful, even though Bucky was probably more worried about his co-worker almost catching him jerking off. Listening to him jerk off.

“Great, are we going straight to HR or is tomorrow fine?” Bucky asked resigned.

“How about dinner?” Steve didn’t know where he plucked the courage from, but when Bucky didn’t answer right away whatever ounce of courage had possessed him left just as quickly.

“I’m sorry—"

“No. No, yeah, that’s fine. Great! That sounds good.” Bucky floundered a bit but Steve couldn’t wipe that grin of his face again.

“Tonight?” Bucky added.

“It’s a date.”

[courtney-deserved-better]

whats ur writing schedule/process like! not in a “write faster” way, but i think once you mentioned writing in script form? and i like the way you wrote ur most recent fic! just curious bc ur works are just really good :)

this is a great question!!

if its not slippery slopes, ill usually get an idea for something and periodically jot down notes when they come to me until I feel like i have enough information to start writing (or if im just motivated), that's what i did for my horror challenge rewrite. and for stuff that's like... rewrites of an episode that aren't as character-focused as slippery slopes, i usually read the episode transcripts and try to replicate that total drama style with my own writing

for shorter oneshots, i usually just get a vague idea and run with it until i find a good ending spot, then i go back and clean it up a bit so the structure works

slippery slopes is an... interesting cycle. chapters are getting long enough that i cant just write them in one sitting any more (i think ch5 was the last chapter i did that for) and instead ill agonize over the beginning (always the hardest part to write for me) but once i get going with that i usually finish the chapter within a few days. then i reread the previous chapter to make sure it flows ok (and there aren't any contradictions) and then ill give myself a break where i dont do anything total drama related before coming back to edit and post. though before I do all that I type up notes and rough dialogue bits

and then once i post it it's like... a weight off my chest? like ive been purged or something?? idk its a weird sensation but im just like i Physically Cannot Write Anything For This Right Now and i don't start on the next chapter until that goes away. and then i either start the beginning and do nothing for a week before going back and finishing the chapter or i go into a manic state and write nonstop for a few days. right now i haven't reached a point where im ready to begin writing chapter 10 but i have a lot of notes for it.

(also as soon as i finish posting a chapter i try not to go on my laptop for like 12 hours so i don't obsessively refresh my email for comments. i love reading comments so much holy shit. please comment guys it makes fic authors feel so happy we will love you for it)

as for scripts: i am working on being a writer professionally, but specifically a playwright. writing in a script format comes more naturally to me than writing prose. funnily enough, i started posting fanfic just to practice my prose (and fix stuff in cobra kai that i didnt like) but things sort of... ended up here? idk man but im enjoying it.

right, so because writing in a script format is easier when im really struggling with a section in a fic ill usually scrap whatever i had and write it like a script, then translate that into prose. i was very excited to write the family videos for chapter 9 of slippery slopes, but i was Having Issues, so i redid it as a script and then rewrote that as prose. ill put the script version under the cut if you're interested in that.

but thank you so much for the question!! i do think my writing process is a bit unconventional but hey i think things are turning out well! if you have any more questions feel free to send them in!!

ok here is the last scene of ch 9 of slippery slopes in script format:

[SIERRA]

MOM: Hi honey! Omigosh this is so exciting! I bet you’re having such a great time! Especially since Chris is there! Is Chris watching this? Hi Chris! You know, I loooved you on that ice skating show. Your hair was fantastic! Well, it always is, haha. Do you really make your own hair gel? I’ve been trying to perfect the recipe but you’re just so hard to track down! Oh, you’re such a funny guy! I laughed sooo hard when you made all those jokes about marrying Chef.

Chef: hey!

Chris: ok just for the record, I wasn’t joking, we are married, Sierra tell your mom we’re married

Sierra: …can we just turn it off please

[COURTNEY]

DAD: Courtney, sayang, I know you’ve been going through a lot right now—

MOM: So you’d BETTER make it count. You’ve made it this far before, I want to see you getting all the way to the finale this time. And winning it. Enough moping about those hideous, good-for-nothing slackers! That’s what you get for hanging around freaks like them. You’re doing this for the million, now get the million. Is that clear?

ZARINA: And kick ass!

DAD: Zarina!

Video cuts out.

Alejandro: courtney you good?

Courtney: no, she’s right. Mama didn’t raise no quitter

Alejandro: [knows she’s still upset about duncan and gwen]

[ALEJANDRO]

MOM: Hola, Alejandro. We hope you are doing well, especially in such unsavory conditions. I’m glad to see you’ve made it to the final four— we expected nothing less, of course.

DAD: You have been utilizing your skills quite well. Though I wish you hadn’t been so… blatant about it. You’ll have to work twice as hard once this is over to convince people you’re trustworthy. But surely you were aware of that going into this… odd endeavor. That’s just politics. Reputation is everything.

JOSE: [snorts] Oh, and what a reputation you have, Al. I could easily compile hours of footage of your failures, but I, unlike you, do not waste my time on the frivolities of reality television. Though you always have been lacking in taste. Especially with that bratty girlfriend of yours— oh, my mistake, aren’t you dating the whiny weakling? It’s so hard to keep track! [laughs]

Alejandro: callate!

MOM: I’m sure Alejandro is just working an angle on them.

DAD: Whatever the case is, do not disappoint us.

[NOAH]

MOM: Hi Noah, I’m sorry, I don’t have time to record a full video, but I’m proud of you! Here are your sisters!

ISWARI: A million dollars? A million [bleep] dollars? Win it, Noah! Win it!

RUTH: Dude!! This is crazy! I know you can do this— good luck! Ark misses you! [holds up Ark who barks]

MARA: Are you insane? Why aren’t you dating Alejandro already?

Noah: shut up, mara, just because you can’t keep a boyfriend—

ANYA: Don’t let ‘em trick you! No mercy! Crush their skulls if you have to— no, wait, you’re not strong enough for that. We’ll get there!

LIYA: I say this as your sister, someone who loves you but is constantly annoyed by you— for someone who is quite literally a genius, you sure can be an idiot sometimes.

BALLARI: Okay, I literally have no idea how you’ve made it this far without an athletic bone in your body— are we sure you aren’t adopted? I’m kidding

ABS: You’re stubborn as hell when it comes to me, so you better be stubborn as hell when it comes to winning! And when you do win, get me a frozen yogurt machine, will you? I promise I won’t make you rock climb again!

JAEL: If you lose this, I’ll kill you with this racket. And then use your guts to make myself a new racket. So don’t fuck it up. Again.

Noah: [frozen, ashamed]

Sierra: well that was a mess

Courtney: ok show of hands, who felt better after hearing that? [no one raises hands]

Chris: yeah I was expecting this to be a lot more heartwarming…

Chef: chris just look at them. If they had stable home lives they wouldn’t be doing reality tv

Alejandro: can we please stop talking about this. Also aren’t you supposed to be flying the plane

Chef: oh fuck

Chris: yeah sure. I think im gonna call my mom

Everyone: …

Noah: ok so that was really shitty. Why dont we all go to first class and try and ignore our problems

Everyone: yeah ok sounds good

***

Courtney: so that sucked

Alejandro: at least your dad seems ok

Courtney: true. What are your guys dads like

Noah and Sierra: bold of you to assume I know my dad. Jinx

***

Alejandro: that last girl… you mentioned a sister who does tennis and hates you

Noah: yep

Alejandro: why?

Noah: none of your business. but… it is pretty justified

[koocycle]

if not forever | jk drabble

pairing. jungkook x reader

summary. “i wanted to be with you for a long time, if not forever. you ruined that. you ruined many things.”

wc. 1.6k

warnings. none

a/n. kinda messy post break up drabble. wrote this in one go and did not (!!) proof read nor edit ahaaa my sincere apologies if this is the worst thing u ever read

masterlist

“what’s so funny?”

your voice comes out a little harsher than you had officially intended to and for some odd reason, you had hoped to throw him off guard with it. however, the same beautiful yet forced grin keeps its place on his face. the smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes yet he makes no effort into erasing it, maintaining his gaze on the plates of seafood in front of him.

“i’m sorry, i don’t mean to laugh at you,” he speaks with his mouth still stuffed with the fried shrimps you ordered earlier, showing you he kept his old habits you always told him to get rid off. “but it’s kinda funny to me.”

“i don’t know what you’re talking about.” you lie as you reposition yourself in your seat. he doesn’t need to see it, but he knows your fingers are nervously fumbling with the edge of the table cloth.

“you do, though.” the man in front of you places his chopsticks neatly back in place whilst speaking, still not making any eye contact.

“you don’t even like the dude. you’re making him look ridiculous sitting here.” he dares to state out loud, chewing on the last remains in his mouth.

the urge to roll your eyes at the man is getting stronger, and at first you decide to not give him the satisfaction of an answer. you have better things to do, you keep repeating to yourself. you don’t have time for such childish acts, you decide. that until he speaks up again.

“what even was that story about? dude keeps talking about his art galleries and shit. as if you could care less.” he snickers cockily into the warm air.

“drop it, jeongguk.”

“oh and don’t get me started on when he began to show off his paintings.” he huffs, “he was literally fishing for compliments. couldn’t be more obvious.” he continues on, taking another sip of his sparkly water. “he thinks he’s the shit because he owns a pair of designer shoes and a gucci bag.”

“excuse me, taehyung is a very fine man. thank you very much.” you snap at him, not taking his harsh words any longer.

“sure.” he holds his hands up in the air. “i’m just saying, he isn’t what you’re looking for.”

“and what am i looking for, jeongguk?” you ask almost immediately, fed up with his attitude and big ego. “since you know me so well, tell me everything about it.”

“i’m not trying to invade your life, since you decided i shouldn’t be a part of it any longer-”

you hold your finger up in the air, shushing him mid-sentence, “give me a minute to take notes, yeah?”

a beat of silence passes through the both of you, each of you way too stubborn to break the intense eye contact you are sharing. bubbles of laughter erupt on the tables beside yours, happy couples and families making the most out of their night, the tense atmosphere on the table next door going completely unnoticed by them.

and for the first time this night, you and jeongguk are actually, sincerely looking at each other. the previous hour before taehyung excused himself to the bathroom was filled with awkward small talk and tacky glances that didn’t last any longer than a second.

you didn’t plan to find your ex in this restaurant this exact night. fuck, you didn’t plan to see him ever again, you assured yourself it was better for your own mental health. and when your tinder date decided to meet up at his favorite restaurant? what would you do then? you’d go nonetheless. because what were the odds of seeing the one person you didn’t bet on seeing tonight? the chances were small, that for sure, but with your luck, you should’ve seen it coming.

and what would you do when your ex introduced himself to your new date as an old friend of yours? of course you’d sit down at his table. of course you would, because your prince charming for the night was a beautiful social butterfly. as talented as he is, as breathtaking as he looks, it wasn’t enough and he just had to be social enough to accompany this so called old friend on his table.

“i just don’t get how you can date him.” he sighs into the air, leaning back in his chair with a huff.

“he seems like a cool person to be around, whether or not he reaches your standards,” you say, slumping down your own seat now. “and we’re not dating.”

“you’re going on dates with him.” he corrects himself. “and you bring him to places i’ve been bringing you to the past three years?”

you hate the sharp edge to his tone. you hate the desperate search for answers which is evident in his voice. you hate it. you caused it, you’re aware. and the pang in your chest grows each second of taehyung’s absence.

“how could you throw us aside like that?”

his voice is booming loud and clear through your ears, and even though you had been expecting this question sooner or later tonight, you still hadn’t figured out a solid answer for him. you wish you had.

“did those three years mean nothing to you?” he has so many questions bottled up inside of him, so many questions he has collected over the past months, unable to form any solid answers himself - so now that you’re in front of him, he has to take his chances, no?

the sight of you not making any eye contact is irritating him, though. he doesn’t see, but he knows you’re staring at your fumbling fingers under the table, folding the edges of the napkin placed on your lap. your pretty lips are shut tight, the beautiful toothy smile he was once able to appear on your face, has disappeared. your silence is killing him.

“did they mean nothing to you?” he asks again, his voice slightly cracking halfway.

you feel his stare burning on your face, you hear the way he holds his breath for a few seconds. and it pains you. “they did. they still do.”

“then why did we stop? we were perfect together.” his voice lowers a few octaves, “we were perfect.”

“jeongguk..”

“i planned to stay with you for a long time, if not forever.” he says, unable to keep his stares away from you. he hates how you’re able to stay so silent, proving all the assumptions that had been swerving in his mind to be right. he wants to yell at you for being so calm, he wants you to know how he’s been feeling the past couple of months. like total shit.

he loves you so much. he loves you so much that it hurts. he loves you so much that he wants you to go through the pain he’s been going through. he may know it’s selfish, but the way you’re sitting there, slumped onto your seat, giving him answers filled with silence - he doesn’t care no more. doesn’t want to care.

“don’t say stuff like that, guk. you don’t mean that.” you rub your temples in a tired manner. “we both know that wasn’t going to work with the way things were going between us.”

they way his name leaves your lips in such an unfamiliar manner makes his head spin.

“you thought it wasn’t going to work.” he snaps, and loudly so, making a few heads turn in your direction. “you thought so many things and you made a rashed decision that isn’t better for neither of us.”

he continues on, “i wanted to stay with you for forever. you ruined that - you ruined many things. you ruined the beautiful things we had.” he rambles, and you can feel your heart beat against your ribcage now. “i bet you didn’t even think twice about the break up. bet you just went up and left. probably for this guy too. you didn’t care - you don’t care about those years. you’re selfish.”

“you gotta stop it, guk.”

“i have to remind myself to not be sad when i go home to an empty house when i leave work.” he says, an accusing finger pointing your way. “i loved you and you didn’t give two shits. i have to wake up and go to bed with a shit feeling whilst your out here going on dates with guys you barely know?”

you catch your breath in your throat. you want him to know how much he meant to you - how much he still means to you. how you’re going through it as well. you’re not sure if he’d still believe you, considering the circumstances you were in.

“i’m going through it as well, jeongguk. i swear i am. just as much as you.” you reach for his hands resting on the table, needy for some contact.

he pulls himself away from you, though. so your hands fall on the wooden table in defeat. “this is as hard for me as it is for you. but i had to do this. what we had wasn’t healthy.”

he nods as if he understands you. he doesn’t. his lips purse and his glossed eyes are the last thing you see before he tears his gaze away and grabs his stuff on the chair next to him.

“you don’t understand.” he mumbles, right before he goes up and leaves.

you call out for him a couple more times, but he’s not listening, so you watch him from afar, just until you hear the heavy door of the restaurant go to a shut.

and you cry.

[twoidiotwriters1]

Staring like a fool -(Bucky Barnes xGN!Reader)

A/N: It’s Bucky simping hours, might do a part two if people wants it but u have to let me know either by commenting or sending an ask -Danny

Warnings: I wrote this five minutes ago and I’m posting it without checking it twice, but Val blessed it so I won’t edit anything.

Words: 1,084

Twoidiots Masterlist

Summary: Bucky Barnes hates you. Or at least that’s what you think.

“He’s staring at you...”

“He stares at everyone,” You scoff. “Just ignore him.”

Every week you have to attend these stupid Avenger meetings even though the Avengers aren’t a thing anymore, and every week, Bucky stares at you as if you were about to combust.

You don’t know what you did to deserve this, you have no idea why he doesn’t trust you, but you can’t bring yourself to care that much anyway.

“No, I mean it, he’s not even trying to be discrete now,” Wanda frowns. “Do you want me to look into his head? See what’s his problem?”

“What’s the point, really?” You sigh. “Let’s just listen to what Wilson has to say so we can leave.”

The meeting goes on without interruption. Five minutes before it ends you start to space out, your mind moves onto your weekend plans and your eyes moves away from Sam to the window, but right next to the window, you find Bucky.

He’s definitely staring at you.

You stare at him back hoping he’ll notice he’s making you uncomfortable, however, once he notices you’re staring back his eyes move up and down your figure, he doesn’t smile, he doesn’t even look sorry about it. His eyes stay on yours for another brief moment before looking back at the front of the room.

You’re livid, you don’t know why it upsets you this much but you’re sick of it so maybe it’s time to confront him. 

Once the meeting is over you quickly exit the place and go to the parking lot where your car is. 

Maybe you should tell Wilson first, perhaps he’ll know what’s up with Barnes. Sure, you threw a few punches at him back in the day, but that was years ago! He can’t possibly be angry about that, right? Besides, why would he be angry just at you? The others were also involved in that stupid war...

Out of the corner of your eye you see some movement, Bucky reflection on your car’s window is walking towards you and that’s when you decide you’ve had enough.

“Okay, let’s get this over with,” You scowl, turning around and facing him. “What the hell is your problem?”

Bucky stops and stares at you, although this time he looks definitely confused at your attitude.

“What?” He asks.

“I asked what your problem is,” You insist. “You’re always looking at me as if I were a secret hydra agent, and I’m tired of it. Just tell me what did I do for you to hate me.”

Bucky shifts his weight from one foot to another, he frowns a bit and tilts his head, clearly he wasn’t expecting this to happen.

“Uhh...” He starts, but he really doesn’t know what to answer.

“You know what, it doesn’t matter,” You continue, feeling a bit childish about starting a fight over some awkward stares. “I don’t care if you hate me, I’m not here to make friends.”

You turn around to open your car and leave when he finally finds his voice.

“You think I hate you?”

“You’re not exactly subtle about it,” You reply, throwing your jacket to the backseat and turning around again, ready to finish this conversation. “What is it then? What did I do?”

Bucky’s frown deepens, but he doesn’t look angry. 

“Why on earth do you think I hate you?”

The question caughts you off guard. This wasn’t how you thought the conversation would go, for a moment you think he’s trying to deny it, but Bucky’s never tried to run away from a fight.

“I...” Your mouth feels dry, something in the way Bucky stares at you in bewilderment makes you feel like you’re the one who’s lost their mind. “Because you stare at me like you wanna kill me.”

Bucky looks down and his mouth opens slightly, realization hits him and without being able to stop it he blushes. You made Bucky Barnes blush.

“I’m sorry about that,” He says, still not meeting your eyes. “Won’t happen again. See ya.”

“Hey, hey— Get back here!” You call when he starts to walk away. “What the hell, Barnes? Just tell me what’s going on!”

“I rather not,” He said, his back still very much turned to you as he continues to leave.

“Okay, then I’ll just talk to Wilson!”

Bucky stops dead in his tracks and turns abruptly, but he doesn’t try to get close again.

“Don’t tell Wilson. That’s a terrible idea, he won’t help you.”

“What? Why?”

“Listen,” He closes his eyes tightly and shakes his head, trying to get rid of the embarrassment. “I was staring, yes, but it’s not what you think.”

“Then what is it?”

“Like you said, doesn’t matter,” He insists, but you can’t stop thinking about how he hasn’t looked at you for the last five minutes. “Won’t happen again, I promise.”

“Geez, Barnes I thought you were kinda weird but I never thought you were a coward,” You push.

“Oh, fuck off,” He scoffs.

“A’ight, then I’ll tell Wilson you’re acting like a creep.”

“Sam told me this would happen,” He groans, although he’s talking to himself then, he finally looks up at you. “I was checking you out, alright? I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable.”

“Che...Cheking me out?” You frowned. 

“Why’s that so surprising?”

“Because you’ve been doing that for the past three months.”

“Well it’s been a while since I tried to ask someone out.”

“So you thought it was better to just stare at me?”

“I never said I thought it was a good idea,” He retorts. “I said it’s been a while since I dated someone. Don’t give me that look.”

“I’ll give you the looks I please, Barnes, you’ve been stalking me for three months,” You retorted.

Bucky’s jaw tenses but you can tell he’s trying to hide a smile.

“That’s fair.”

A moment of silence passes, then you add:

“Well?”

Bucky shrugs lightly, he blinks.

“What?”

“You going to ask me out or do i have to do everything myself around here?”

Bucky does laugh at this, he shakes his head slowly.

“You’re too cocky for your own good, you know?”

A smug smile forms on your face, you throw your carkeys to Bucky and he catches them in midair, giving you a questioning look.

“Your date, you drive,” You reply, circling the vehicle.

Bucky grins, walking back to your car and sitting on the driver’s seat next to you.

“Pizza?”

“I was thinking pasta.”

“Sounds good.”

Taglist.

@skittles-skittles @poetryislife0715 @just-here-to-escape-from-reality​ @i-am-scared-and-useless-bisexual

[jubilantwriter]

It All Began with a Big Crash

(AO3)

Summary:  It's the one year anniversary of Boyfriend and Girlfriend's growing relationship, and Boyfriend absolutely, totally, DID NOT forget that today is that special day. And yet, that one single DID NOT FORGETTing leads to a domino effect, resulting in quite possibly one of the best nights of their lives.

After all, what's the point of a performance if no one's having fun during it?

Word Count: 7154

(A/N:  Happy 1st Anniversary of Friday Night Funkin’!  I literally wrote and edited this all in one day.  Got home at midnight, started writing, and then I posted it at 10 am, took a nap, went to work, AND NOW I’M HERE ON TUMBLR :D  Anyway, FNF has been a big comfort for me these past months, so it’s only fitting that I put myself through hell to get this little bit out.  I hope you all enjoy!)

\\\\

Now, Boyfriend isn't a forgetful man.  This thought crosses his mind as he stands up abruptly after paying for his lunch and racing for the door.

"Be-!"

"Eep!"

CRASH .

But sometimes things... slip from his mind, and while he's not one prone to panic, THIS is something worth panicking over.

"-EP.  SHIT.  SORRY!"

"My dishes!"  A blonde server kneels on the ground, surrounded by the clumsy carnage created by Boyfriend inadvertently crashing into her on his rush out.  She glares accusingly at him as the boy jogs in place.  "Again, really?!"

"Sorry, sorry!"  He waves his hands in front of him before looking over his shoulder.  "I'll pay for the dishes and shit uh, later!"  He dashes out the door as she calls out behind him.

"That's what you said LAST time!"

Well, last time he was dirt poor, but now that he's pretty famous around town, he's actually got the moolah to pay for damages!  So yeah, next time!

...Is what he meant to tell her, but he's already busting into the conveniently placed flower shop, panting as he looks around wildly for help.  The florist in question glances at him completely unbothered by his entrance.  

"Forgot an important date again?" she quips, staring back down at her phone as she drapes herself over the counter.

"BAP!" he says defensively, because he DIDN'T forget!  It just... slipped his mind a little.  In his defense, he'd gotten so used to being with Girlfriend that it felt ... normal!  Like they've been together for YEARS and being with her just felt so right, and every day was the greatest day of his life because he had her by his side.  So yeah, maybe the days slipped past him in a blissful sort of way, like when he gets super focused on his music or some arbitrary task, and the hours slip by and suddenly it's the next morning!  It's kind of like that, but with a girl who makes him smile and laugh and forget that life is supposed to be difficult and hard, and not fun and invigorating.  And to think they've only been together for a year...

...A year.

...Wait.

Shit.

SHIT.

He's doing it again!

He bustles over and slaps a fifty on the counter.  "Bop!" he announces in a rush, tapping his fingers impatiently as the florist holds it up to the light. 

With a low whistle, she puts it back on the table.  "Wow, you're really going all out this time, huh?"  Before Boyfriend can respond to her sarcasm, the florist calls out to her partner in the back.  "Flower!  Miku's lil bro is back at it again, dropping a fifty and hoping for the best."

"Again?"  A husky voice makes its way over as a familiar bush of thick hair pops out from beyond the doorway.  "Boyfriend, you should know by now that apology bouquets are at least a hundred."

"Ba- skida- AUGH!  It's not an apology bouquet!"  He stomps his foot, irritated to break out the English but knowing full well it’s a matter that needs clear communication.  So not really a waste of words, just a waste of energy on two ladies who will give him shit regardless of the noise he makes.

"Oh yeah?  What's the occasion?"  The taller florist - Lily, hilariously enough - leans forward with a smirk as Flower keeps her deadpan stare.  

"It's for my anniversary!"  He crosses his arms and harrumphs as Lily whistles again.

"Damn, and you didn't invite us to the wedding?  Harsh."

"No, not that-!  Ugh, you know what I mean."

"Do we?"  Lily and Flower exchange a look before Lily's smirk widens.  "I dunno, you don't give us the dirt anymore.  Remember when you'd come in here all the time, red in the face trying to get apology bouquets for that one boy?  What's his name-"

"Pico," he answers, a bit flustered as the memories rush through his mind before shaking his head, "and he liked them all, by the way!  But this isn't about him-"

"No, it's about your new girl, right?"  Flower cuts in, leaning against the doorway with a bored expression.  "What's her favorite color?  It's not green, is it?"

"It's red, and please can you make it quick?  I dunno when she wants us to meet up, so...!"  He flashes them two thumbs up and is about to bounce, but Lily grabs the collar of his shirt with a chuckle.

"Not so fast, dumbass."  She pulls him back to the counter as he whines pathetically.  "You really think a fifty is enough for an anniversary bouquet?"

Oh no.  He starts to sweat, feeling his wallet tremble in fear.  They're doing it again.  "What do you mean?"

"What do I mean, Flower?"  Lily turns back to the shorter florist as the other makes a thoughtful hum.

"One hundred, at least."

"Yeah, at least one hundo."  Lily holds her hand out.  "C'mon, cough it up, shorty."

This is beyond unreal, but at the same time, it is completely expected from people who teased him relentlessly since he was a kid.  "If it wasn't for Miku, you guys wouldn't even be here!"

"We're only here because of convenience, please."  Lily snorts as the boy continues to struggle.  "So you aiming for an apology bouquet or an anniversary bouquet?"

"Just cut me a deal, please?  For old time's sake?" He clasps his hands together and bats his eyelashes.  "I'm still that cute little kid who used to pretend to be like Miku!  Who could forget good ol' Mikuo?"

"One hundred."  Flower cuts off the potential reminiscing and steps up to the counter.  "Or it's an apology bouquet."

Grumbling miserably, Boyfriend digs around in his pocket and manages to snag something.  He pulls out his hand and counts out four quarters.  Quietly, he puts it on top of the fifty.

Flower and Lily both look at it silently.

"...Well," Flower begins, slowly taking the money, "I did say one hundred."

Roll with it roll with it roll with it-

"Yeah, and uh, four twenty-fives makes one hundred, right?"

"What, are we speaking French now?"  Lily asks with a sneer.

"No," Boyfriend begins, blinking slowly, "pretty sure we're speaking English." 

"Oh my god."  She slaps her hand over Flower's.  "We are not doing this."

"I gave you one hundred," he argues, sweating miserably as he turns up the confidence.  

"He did give us one hundred," Flower agrees.

"You are not giving this to him.  You know he didn't even plan this!  He's too stupid to pull a slick move like that!"

Boyfriend just smiles and gives them a double thumbs up.

"It's not like anyone else is gonna be coming in to give us another job."  Flower hums and stows the money in the register, much to Lily's chagrin.  "And besides, if I get bored making it, I'll just take a nap."

"Flower-!"  Before Lily can protest even more, Flower disappears into the backroom, no doubt to either work on the bouquet or take that nap.  Lily turns back to Boyfriend and glares, jabbing a finger against his chest.  "Be back here in a few hours.  You're taking whatever the hell she makes for you, stingy little bitch."

"That's all I have on my person!"

"We accept credit and debit."

"I have bills to pay."

"You're such a little-!"  Lily makes a strangling gesture with her hands before grabbing and shaking him.  "You better give this girl a helluva anniversary."

"I'm trying!"  He backs up and shoots the tall florist finger guns before vacating the premises.  Okay, one thing down.  Next: chocolates.  Easy-peasy.  What place sells heart-shaped boxes of chocolates and other cutesy, anniversary items?

Boyfriend makes a beeline for the local grocery store and spends only a total of thirty minutes there, making the proud purchase of a box of chocolates, a little teddy bear holding a heart, and even a balloon that says, "I Love You".  Score!  Damn, he's doing great so far.  And it was such a quick purchase!  Maybe Miku's friends could learn a thing or two about making quick sales instead of harassing him over every little thing.

What's next, what's next...

A place for dinner, right!  Girlfriend loves the local bar.  Great food, a nice atmosphere, open mic nights, a server who's familiar with them...

A server that he crashed into and made her drop all those dishes to the floor... like that other time he did it to her and held up the service for a sizable amount of time...

He gulps.  Hm.  She's probably still mad at him too.  But uh, huh.  He's not sure what to do.  Maybe, maybe...

He takes out his phone and dials a familiar number.  It rings only twice before a gruff, annoyed voice answers on the other side.

"I'm busy, the fuck you want?"

Without missing a beat, he gets on his metaphorical hands and knees.  "Pico, can I ask a favor, please please pretty please?"

"Wow, English.  Must be desperate."   There's a loud crash on his end before Pico's voice yells at a pair of playful, young laughter.  "Hey- hey!  Watch it!"

"Pico, so uh, could you-?"

"Hey- give me that!"   More raucous laughter fills the line as Pico sighs.  "Sorry, Bee, don't think I can help ya today.  I was supposed to just watch these two kids 'til Lila came back, but then I got a call from a pal who needs help at her joint and- Skid, Jesus fucking Christ -"   There's some shuffling and a grunt as a playful squeal rings a little too close to the phone.  Pico continues as though nothing happened on his end.  "-and so basically I'm double booked for the night."

"Oh, okay."  He tries not to let the disappointment seep into his voice, but another sigh from Pico suggests that he heard it regardless.  

"Look, I'm real sorry, wish I could help, but a line's formin' and I can only do so much."   Pico grunts and a soft thump is heard.  Two voices chatter away distantly in the background, but Boyfriend focuses solely on Pico.  "Why?  What happened?"

"Well, today's me and Girlfriend's anniversary, and I wanted to take her out but-"

"Can't figure out a place to take her?  C'mon man, you- Jesus, you two, slow down, I'm comin'- you already know one."

"Yeah, the bar but-"

"What, ya worried about 'bout lines or somethin'?  I know it's busy and shit, but I'm sure Serv will get ya guys' a table easy.  It's just you two, you'll be fine."

"Okay, but-"

"Oh my GOD, what the HELL is THAT?!"  

A faint, childish voice answers Pico's horrified question as Boyfriend listens in.  "That's Moloch!"

"...MOLOCH?"

A roar sounds from Pico's side of the phone call.  The voice - uh, Skid, was it? - laughs excitedly.  "Yeah!  He's our friend!"

"He lives in Skid's attic!"

A demonic voice nearly blows out Boyfriend's eardrums.  "GET ME OUT OF HERE!"

"...Does your MOM know about this?!"

"Sorta!  She thinks he's a rat."

"Hey hey HEY, back OFF-!  Sorry, Bee, I'll call ya later!"  

The last thing he hears is another roar before the line hangs up.  Pico will probably be fine - he's handled worse after all, and even Boyfriend's faced off a demon or two!  Maybe three, if that Lemon Man those two kids were friends with counted as well.  Man, demons are just everywhere, huh?

...Speaking of demons.  There’s one demon he really should be focusing on.  Like getting their dinner date set up at her favorite bar in town.  Even though he’s probably on that bar’s shitlist for knocking over their number one employee again .

But Girlfriend really does love going to that bar, and if it's for her...  Fuck it, he'll suck it up and take whatever Server-chan's got against him.  He'll just challenge her to a quick rap battle, win, and THEN they can have a nice dinner!  Yeah, that's what he'll do.  Lily's words replay in his mind as he walks off to his apartment to change into something nicer.

"You better give this girl a helluva anniversary."

Fuck yeah he will.

"Damn, after all these years, you still can't tie a tie."  Lily frets over his outfit as she helps him tidy up a bit.  A colorful ribbon now decorates the box of chocolates, tying it together with the teddy bear with the balloon also tied around its wrist.  He grabs the tied together present after she rolls his sleeves up to his elbow.

"Bouquet?" he asks hopefully as Lily dusts off his shoulders for the hundredth time.  

She huffs and shakes her head, blowing a stray hair out of her face.  "You're lucky Flower didn't take a nap halfway through.  It's her best work so far!  All for the low, low cost of $51, tax not included."

"There's tax?!"  He almost falls over, but Lily grabs him by the collar of his dress shirt.

"Chill out, we'll charge it to Miku's account."

"Oh, thanks."  He swats away her hands when she tries to tuck in the other half of his shirt.  "Fuck off, it's part of my style!"

"What, being sloppy?"

"The ladies love it."

"Your lady deserves better."

"But I'm the best there is!"

"Oh, God," Lily groans as her expression falls into despair.  "Egotism really does run in the family."

"Enough about the family ego," Flower pipes up, her hands full with a large, beautiful bouquet.  "These flowers need to be appreciated."

"Holy shit."  Boyfriend takes the entire bouquet, admiring the reds, pinks, and whites.  There's a smattering of small, lavender flowers here and there, making the other colors pop.  "Roses!" he points out, the only flower he recognizes.

"Yup, and there's also lilies, alstroemeria, and-"

"Don't waste your breath," Lily cuts in, covering Flower's mouth before she can list them all out.  "He won't remember any of the names."

A disappointed sigh escapes Flower, so he gives her the biggest grin he can muster.  "Yo, I still think it's hella bomb to look at.  I really think she'll love it!"

Flower perks up a bit, a small smile forming on her usually stoic face.  "...Cool."

"Alright, get outta here."  Lily shoves him back to the door with a grin.  "You got a hot date, yeah?  Go give her the night of her life!"

"Yeah!"  He waves to the pair before leaving.  "Gonna have a great night at the bar!"

Lily's smile falters as Flower's smile immediately disappears.  "...The what?"

"See ya!"

"Wait, Boyfriend!  You're taking her out to the fucking BAR?!"  

He doesn't have the time to turn back and answer Lily, so he goes along his merry way, bouquet clutched tightly against his chest with the bear.  Hopefully the incident from earlier today has been swept away.  He really doesn't want to have a rap battle with Server-chan, but if he has to...

"Boyfriend!"  A sweet, melodic voice pulls him from his thoughts as he looks over to see his beautiful, wonderful Girlfriend.  Her iconic look now sports a sleek, black jacket reminiscent of her mother's own jacket.  It looks stunning on her, and a soft, longing "beep" escapes him as she giggles and kisses his cheek.  "Hey, hun.  Happy anniversary!"

"Happy anniversary!"  He holds out his gifts for her to take, and he delights in her unabashed joy as she takes them.

"Oh!  This teddy bear is so cute, and these flowers are lovely!"  Another giggle escapes her as she points at the bouquet.  "Roses!"

"That's what I said!"  They both share a laugh before her smile settles into something soft and relaxed.

"Now I wish I got you something too..."  Girlfriend pouts a bit, but he kisses it away with a grin.

"Hey, don't sweat it!  Lemme spoil you for the night instead."  He offers her his arm, and she happily loops hers with his.  They walk into the bar together and are met with a familiar face standing behind a podium.  Despite being the hostess, Cassette Girl keeps her iconic cap on as she notices them and greets them with a lazy smile.

"Wooow," she drawls out, giving Boyfriend a knowing grin.  "Back again so soon?  And after that huge fuss you made."

"Fuss?"  Girlfriend gives Boyfriend a curious look.  

"Uhh, beep bah."

"Didn't tell her about your mishap, huh?"  Cassette Girl raises an eyebrow and shakes her head.  "Well, if you wanted to know, Serv got it figured out.  Called in a favor last minute, and luckily he was nice enough to help out."  

"Sorry about that," he says sheepishly, and Cassette Girl merely shrugs.

"It's whatever.  Not the first time you messed her up real good.  And besides, you're not even the first person to make her crash and burn for a hot minute."  

"Is this still about the fuss you guys are talking about?"  Girlfriend looks between the two as Cassette Girl chuckles.

"Yeah, but don't worry about it.  Lemme take ya to your seats.  Bar or nah?"  

"Nah, it's our anniversary date today!"

"And you guys are spending it here?”  She pauses for a second in thought before shaking her head.  “Alright."  Cassette Girl takes it in stride and seats them near the miniature stage.

"Oh, is it open mic night tonight?"  Girlfriend sits down, already excited for the night as Cassette Girl chuckles and hands them the menus.

"Nah, originally we had a band booked tonight, but their back-up vocalist got injured, so they called it off last minute.  It's gonna be a quiet night instead."

"Aww."  The pout on Girlfriend's face lasts only a second before her smile returns.  "Oh well!  Sometimes quiet is nice too."

"Right you are.  Anyway, your waiter will be with you guys in just a sec, so take your time.  We're not too busy tonight, so feel free to cause more havoc."  She flashes a grin before walking back to her station.  

Girlfriend waves goodbye and turns back to Boyfriend with a smile.  "Cassey is so nice!  I wish we could talk to her more."  

"Maybe we'll catch her on the street one of these days."  He cracks open the menu, perusing the contents before deciding on getting his usual.

"Maybe!  Should I try something new tonight?"

"Wouldn't hurt."

"But I don't know what to get..."

"Maybe we can ask the waiter?"  He looks around for their supposed waiter, but all he sees is an unimpressed Pico standing at their table.  "Oh!  Pico!  You're dressed like a waiter!"

True to his observations, Pico is dressed similarly to Server-chan; a black long sleeved shirt replaces his usual green sweater, and a pair of black slacks replaces his usual beige cargo pants.  The only splash of color on his outfit is the bright orange apron that all servers seem to wear as per uniform, and it absolutely clashes with Pico's own bright, red hair.  

"That's because I am the waiter, dumbass."  The bite from his remark is lost from the tired slump of his shoulders, and the ginger begins to resemble Server-chan with each passing second.  "At least for tonight.  She called me in for a favor, and I agreed to help."

The conversation from earlier today pings in Boyfriend's memory.  "Is this what you meant when you said you were double booked?"

"Yeah.  Told me some blue-haired douchebag steamrolled her on his way out, and she ended up breaking a whole buncha dishes.  She went out to go replace the whole set, so I'm coverin' for the rest of her shift while she takes care of it.  Now that I think about it," Pico fixes him with a stern, knowing glare as Boyfriend shrinks under his sharp eyes, "I kinda already know about a certain blue-haired douchebag."

"I'll pay her back, I promise."  

"You fuckin' better."  Pico looks over to Girlfriend and offers her a tired grin when she waves cheerfully.  "Hey, Red, he treatin' ya well tonight?"

"Yup!  He got me chocolates, a bear, a balloon, AND a bouquet!"

"Really spoilin' ya there."

"Only the best for Gigi, right?"  He nudges Pico playfully, the earlier irritation already melting away from his expression as he rolls his eyes and ruffles Boyfriend's hair.

"Yeah yeah.  Ya guys ready to order?"

Pico takes their orders and departs quickly, the couple watching him disappear somewhere in the bar as their collective thoughts gather on one thing only.

"Mm, Pico should wear uniforms more often, huh?"

"It definitely looks flattering on him."  They both hum before taking sips from the water Pico had set down earlier while taking their orders.  With no ginger to distract them, Girlfriend's attention centers back on Boyfriend as she smiles.  "Thanks for taking me out here for dinner!  I know it's not easy for us to go out on dates since my parents still hover, so I'm really happy that we went out like you planned!"

"Oh yeah, totally."  His easy grin hides the absolute panic he had for the entire half of his day when he realized he had nothing planned.  "I wish I could treat you out for something better, but nothing else is really happening around this time of year-"

"Except for Spooky Month!"  Two voices pipe up out of nowhere as the costumed duo surprise the couple.  

"Oh, goodness, hello!"  She laughs as Skid and, uh, Pump?  Stand by their table looking curious.  "How have you two been?"

"Okay!  Mr. Pico has been babysitting us since Mom's been busy with her work stuff."  Skid bounces on his heels as Pump looks up more calmly.  "We wanted to introduce him to Moloch, but..."

"He didn't like him too much.  He said Moloch is more scary than spooky."  Pump sticks his tongue out and laughs.  "Silly Mr. Pico!  He does not understand that Moloch is our friend!"

"Moloch?"  Girlfriend hums as bobs her head in thought.  "That name sounds familiar.  There was a demon that went missing months ago by that name..."  

"Oh, weird!"

"Moloch came to us months ago too!  But now he stays in Skid's attic."

"It's like a sleepover every day!"

"That sounds like fun!"  She giggles as the kids bounce around her.

Boyfriend watches with a smile before remembering that “double booked” thing that Pico mentioned earlier.  Were these the kids he was watching when Boyfriend called…?  "So why are you guys here?  If Pico is supposed to be babysitting you guys, but is working here instead..."  Boyfriend wonders how Pico manages to balance so many jobs at once.  He himself can barely handle the one!  

"Mr. Pico said that he didn't trust Moloch and wanted us to stay somewhere safer."

"Which is weird, because Moloch is our friend!  But it made him happier, so we came here with him."

"It's boring here, so Pump and I have been teaching lots of people how to spooky dance!"

"Oh?"  Girlfriend indulges them and smiles as they crowd closer to her.  "Can you show me too?"

"You don't know the spooky dance?"

"We should show her!"

"It goes like this!"  The pair of children do a little dance for her, and a happy laugh escapes her as she watches.  Boyfriend leans back and enjoys her happiness as the kids continue to chat with her.

"That looks like fun!"

"You can do it too!"  Skid tugs on her hands, and it's enough to get her to stand up.  "Just hold out your hands like this-"

"-and then you move like this!"  The two of them demonstrate one more time before looking at Girlfriend expectantly.  It takes her a few times, but the kids are surprisingly patient and more than happy to show her as many times as she requests until she gets it right.  The sight of her having so much fun melts his heart, and he sighs as he watches her enjoy herself.  

"Damn, look at you, meltin' into the table."  

Boyfriend nearly slams his face against the table, making Pico guffaw as he puts their meals on the table.  "Dude!"

"What?  Just spittin' facts.  Hey!"  Pico's hands come to rest on his hips as he glares at the kids.  Both Girlfriend and Boyfriend exchange a look, hiding their amused grins behind their hands as Pico takes on his caretaking role.  "Skid, Pump, what did I say 'bout botherin' the customers?"

"Uhh..."  The two kids freeze in place, looking at each other before looking at Pico.  "Don't?"

"And what are you two doin'?"

"Bothering your friends!"  Pump grins as Skid nods in agreement.  "They are not customers, right?"

A puff of a laugh escapes Girlfriend as Boyfriend nudges Pico.  "Yeah dude, we're your friends, not customers.  We should get a de-"

A glare is enough to silence Boyfriend, but Girlfriend's composure quickly falls apart as a fit of giggles escapes her.  Pico ignores her as he focuses his attention on his two charges.  "They're still customers."

"But it's boring here!"

"Yeah, it's too quiet.  You said there'd be music!"

"But there's no music, except for the soft elevator music."

"But that's boring too."

Both boys pout as Pico sighs and massages his temples.  "Look, I didn't know the band would cancel today.  After I'm done here, we can do something fun , okay?"

"Like getting candy?"

"Yeah, like gettin' candy."  The two kids cheer and run off somewhere before Pico can stop them.  "Hey-!"

"Damn, Pico, I didn't think you'd be good with kids."  Boyfriend snickers as he eats a fry, watching as Pico sighs for the umpteenth time.

"You call that bein' good with kids?"

"It's better than I'd ever expect outta you."

"Rude little bitch."  Pico snatches a few fries and chomps on them, ignoring Boyfriend's protests.  

"When do you get off, Pico?"  Girlfriend spins her fork around in her pasta before feeding the first bite to Boyfriend, keeping her eyes on Pico as the ginger hums thoughtfully.

"Technically nine, but I gotta watch the kids 'til ten.  That's when Lila comes back from her shit."

"Do you wanna come over for movie night?"  She looks over to Boyfriend who nods in agreement.  Pico laughs and shakes his head.

"Ain't this supposed to be ya guys' anniversary date?  Why the hell am I bein' invited?"

"'Cause it's more fun when you join us!"  Boyfriend pipes up, making his eyes go wide with hope, knowing how much of a sucker Pico is for his puppy dog eyes.  Like he predicts, Pico grumbles and looks away, a slight blush to his cheeks as he tries to regain his composure.

"Touchin', but nah.  It's y'all's day.  It's not my place to interrupt."  

"You wouldn't be-!"  A ringtone goes off in the middle of her sentence.  Girlfriend pauses, taking her phone out as her smile vanishes.  "Oh, just a minute."  She leaves the table quickly as she answers her phone with a faint, "Hi, Daddy..."

"Hm."  They watch her go outside before Pico turns back to Boyfriend.  "I hope you have somethin' really good planned for tonight."

"Well, I don't have anything planned, per se-"

"Oh for fuck's sake-"

"But!  Movie night is gonna be a thing!  Or, was."  Boyfriend frowns, not liking how it was her dad who called her.  Knowing him, he could be asking her to come home earlier than planned, ruining their romantic movie night.  "I was gonna play it by ear, y'know, in case something like that happens."

"Fair."  Pico crosses his arms and fixes Boyfriend with a stare.  "So how are you gonna save this night then?"

"Dunno yet."  Boyfriend bites his lip and scratches at the table.  "Like I said, I don't have much planned, so like..."  His eyes wander over to the stage.  A keyboard is the only instrument present on the stage alongside the stereos.  He blinks slowly at the sight of it, a hum low in his throat.  

"What?  Ya suddenly got an idea?"  Pico follows his gaze and whistles low.  "Gonna sing a love song?"

"What?  No."  A pause.  "Maybe.  I dunno."

"You dunno?"

"I don't really have a song lined up."  But it would be perfect.  She loves it when he sings.  Or raps.  Or does anything really.  And she did seem a little disappointed when she found out that there wasn't going to be a show tonight...

"You're a rapper," Pico supplies easily.  "Just freestyle."

"But I don't have any beats."  Which is true, unless he gets some help.  His eyes wander up to meet Pico's gaze.  "...Can I ask a favor?"

"Shoot."

"You still beatbox?"

And Pico smirks.  "Only if ya got a plan."  

Boyfriend looks around the bar, his eyes landing on the Spooky Boys and Cassette Girl.  Music flows behind his eyes as he maps out the beats and flows on the spot.  Fingers tap out the rhythm he wants to follow, and Pico taps his foot in tandem.  "I think," he says, watching as Girlfriend comes back into the bar with a gloomy look on her face, "I've got a plan."

Pico leans forward, and Boyfriend quickly whispers it to him before shooing the ginger away.  When Girlfriend takes her seat, Boyfriend takes it upon himself to buy some time for Pico as he keeps Girlfriend's attention on him.

"Something up?"

"Oh, it's just Daddy."  Her frown deepens, and Boyfriend can feel his heart drop from the sight.  She shouldn't be unhappy on their anniversary - of course her dad would ruin things for her.  "He wants me to come home early, says he doesn't want me to stay over too late since he doesn't trust you to keep your hands to yourself."

"Tch.  Your old man needs to lay off."  From the corner of his eye, he sees Cassette Girl wander to some backroom, only to reappear with a few more coworkers as one of them takes over her position by the podium.  Pico follows her next, helping her set up a couple of mics as she tests out the keyboard.  The noises catch the attention of the patrons, including Girlfriend as she turns in interest at the ruckus.

"What's going on?  Oh, is there a show happening after all?"  A small smile forms on her lips as she watches the prep.  "I wonder who they managed to get!"

"Yeah, I wonder."  Boyfriend lets her watch them for a second longer before taking her attention again.  "So how long can you stay out?"

"Mmm, at most, maybe an hour?  Daddy's imps will come and pick me up, regardless of where I am."  She puffs her cheeks out, which would normally be cute if she wasn't so distressed.  "Mommy was okay with me spending the night!  But Daddy won't even let me stay before midnight, so that ruins movie night..."

"Hey, don't worry about it.  We can always have movie night whenever."  He reaches over and takes her hand, giving it a firm, comforting squeeze.  

"But today was supposed to be our day."  She frowns again, holding onto his hand as she sighs softly.  "We were supposed to have a nice night doing whatever we wanted.  And now that's going to be ruined because my dad is being... himself again."

Random beats start playing.  It takes them both by surprise as they turn around to see Pico messing with... some kind of pad?  Is that a launchpad?  Cassette Girl shakes her head and points to some buttons before Pico nods and- ah.  So he didn't steal it from someone.  Clearly, it was Cassette Girl's own device.  

"What are they doing?"  Girlfriend watches with more interest as the two kids clamber onto the stage, Pico talking to them softly as they nod along to whatever he's saying excitedly.  He wags his finger like a metronome, and the boys both follow its movement before nodding furiously as he grins and pats the tops of their heads.  As Pico looks up from the boys, he meets Boyfriend's gaze and gives a small nod before standing up.

"They're getting a show ready for you."  Boyfriend grins when Girlfriend looks over to him bewildered.

"What do you mean, for me?"

"Heeeellloooo, everyone!"  Cassette Girl speaks into the microphone with her familiar drawl, getting the patrons to quiet down as they watch with rapt attention.  "Now, as you know, our booked gig for tonight ended up cancelling, but at the very last minute, we managed to snag another performer instead!  You may be familiar with his bright blue hair and obnoxious voice," a rumble of laughter rolls through the crowd, but he takes it all in stride as he waits for the intro to end, "but he's gotten pretty famous throughout these parts for his amazing freestyle rap!  Dedicated to his lovely Girlfriend of one year, we have Mr. Boyfriend, here to perform for one night only!"

"Boyfriend?!"  Girlfriend's eyes widen in excitement as he stands from his seat, grinning confidently as he winks to her.  It's not often he gets to perform for the sake of performing, so he wants to make this the best performance she's ever seen.

"You better give this girl a helluva anniversary."

As if he wasn't.

He takes the offered microphone from Cassette Girl as she takes her place behind the keyboard.  

"Heya, folks!"  He waves out to the crowd as the people who recognize him from his many rap battles cheer him on.  Girlfriend cheers from the crowd, for once enjoying the show as just a normal person, instead of being in the thick of it.  "Like Cassey said, this show is dedicated to my Girlfriend.  I started this whole career for her, and if it weren't for her, I never would have found this flow in my life.  I love her more than any song can convey, so I hope a show's worth of songs can get the message along.  Now are you ready to get funkin' lit?!"  

The crowd erupts into cheers as Girlfriend stands and cheers the loudest, her smile wide and bright as she pumps her fist in the air.  They wait for the crowd to calm down before Pico starts his beatboxing.  The beat begins slow, the notes sounding familiar as recognition settles on Girlfriend's features.

"Yo," he begins, holding the microphone close to his lips as he gets into the beat, "it's the remix."   Pico's beatboxing continues before Cassette Girl joins in with her keyboard.  The beat plays from the launchpad as the beatboxing ends, and that's his cue to start rapping.

"Don't look complacent, wearin' those rags, you ain't adjacent.  Lookie, I'm fly, and you look basic.  Look in her eyes, and I feel like takin' it for the win."   He meets Girlfriend's gaze with a grin as he waves his hand back and forth, pumping the crowd up as he continues to rap.

"Her dad be evil, no twin.  Skin purp' like the Sprite, sippin'.  He open his yap and you wouldn't believe it's the sound of an angel when he spittin'."   At Pico's cue, Skid and Pump join in with a chant of, "Go man go!  Go man go!"   They keep it up as Boyfriend continues to rap, the energy high and exciting as he performs for fun.

"Even though he look like a demon, hold my blue nuts as I battle for the takin'.  Of this girl, I just wanna hold her hand.  Look in our DM's and it's like candy land."   Boyfriend kneels on the stage and gestures for Girlfriend to come closer.  Without missing a beat, Girlfriend makes her way over, her head bobbing in time to the rhythm as she smiles blissfully.

"Yo, I really can't bust when her evil ass dad tryna make my ass be grass.  So I got one shot, learned to spit real hot, and it might just go like this."   As he takes her hand, he pulls her onto the stage and the Spooky Boys go quiet for his next lines.

"I don't mean no disrespect, but there's something about her I can't let go.  Baby, you know that I love you, even though my balls are blue."   The joke gets a giggle from Girlfriend, and it takes all his willpower not to stop rapping just to kiss her right there.

"I want to spend my life with her, even if her dad is evil or some shit.  Now spit it like this: we gettin' freaky on a Friday night, chyeah!"  The crowd goes wild as he scoops Girlfriend up in one arm, cradling her against his body as he continues to rap.  Her arms wrap around his neck as she leans against him, warm and happy in his embrace.

As she should be.  

The Spooky Boys return with the chant, pumping the crowd up some more as they cheer loudly with the rap.

"I just want to hold her tight, chyeah!  Her hair, her eyes, her thighs, yeah.  If I die, it'll all be worth it.  Just to get a chance to show she's worth it!"  He sways with the beat, watching as the crowd gets into the performance.  Besides him, Cassette Girl is grinning, nodding her head to the beat as she plays the mellow tunes on her keyboard.  Pico meanwhile focuses his attention alternating between beatboxing and playing the right beats on the launchpad, all while paying attention to the song and directing when the boys start and end their chant.  Despite the amount of tasks on his shoulders, he holds himself high and proud, enjoying himself with a smile as he moves with the beat.  Even the kids are enjoying themselves, bouncing on the spot and watching Pico intently for his cues.  A part of Boyfriend wonders if they're even paying attention to the lyrics or if they're too engrossed in the beats and sounds coming from the keyboard and launchpad to even care.

Not that it matters.

All that matters is that they're all having fun .  He looks out into the crowd and sees smile upon smile as they're all enjoying themselves to the music.  This.  This is what performing is all about.  The energy, the enjoyment, everyone losing themselves to the music and forgetting their woes and worries for even just a minute-

That's what makes it all so worth it.

He raps the chorus one last time before letting the beat peter out, Pico ending the song with his beatboxing increasing in tempo before ending it abruptly.  The crowd continues their cheers as Boyfriend yells into his microphone.

"You guys ready for more?!"

There's no doubt in his mind that he will absolutely be banned from the bar after this show, just with how rowdy the crowd is getting.  But it's all worth it in the end as he nods to his friends to play whatever beat that comes to mind.  He'll come up with the lyrics on the fly, all of them dedicated to Girlfriend as he sets her down and holds her tight to his side as they sway together.

He doesn't know how long they go for.  All the hype and excitement pushes him to continue, and when he looks over to see if Pico or Cassette Girl or even the boys look just a little tired, he's surprised to see them too excited to even consider taking a break.  The night is filled with raps filled with jokes and love as the clock finally strikes ten.  

Time to end the show.

"Alriiiight, everyone!"  Cassette Girl takes the microphone back from Boyfriend, panting slightly as she gestures to the crowd that grew during the performance.  "Unfortunately, that's it for this show!  Thanks for watching, hope you enjoyed your meals, and please, come back again when we host another gig or open mic!"  The crowd applauds as they all bow.  Cassette Girl pats his shoulder with a grin and turns back to help Pico clean up.  Girlfriend clings to his side, giggling and burying her face against his neck.

"Ohhh, that was so much fun!"  Her giddiness makes him laugh as he hugs her tight, covering her face in kisses as he breathes for the first time since the performance began.

"Did you enjoy yourself?"

"Are you kidding?!"  She laughs and picks him up, twirling them together in a circle before cuddling him midair.  "That was the most fun I've had in ages!"

"I'm glad," he admits, relief washing over him that their night was a success after all.  "Sucks we didn't finish our dinners though."

"I can get boxes for them."  Pico shows up next to them, both kids curled up in his arms as they cling to him.  "Or, uh, I can get Cass to get 'em for ya."

"Aww, are they tired?"  Girlfriend sets Boyfriend down to take a look at the kids.  "They did a really good job tonight!"  Skid lifts his head up, a tired but bright smile on his face as he giggles.

"That was fun!  I wanna do it again, Mr. Pico!"

"I'll think about it.  Remember what we promised before the show?"

"No repeating the bad words around mom," both boys respond, although Pump's words are muffled against Pico's shirt.  He chuckles and nods towards the couple.  

"I gotta get these kids home.  You guys get some rest too."

"We will."  Boyfriend stretches, feeling worn out from the show.  

"See ya."

"Bye, Pico!"  Girlfriend waves as Pico walks off, the two kids waving from Pico's arms.  "He really is good with kids, even if he won't admit it."

"He's always been protective of them."  They both hum, the thought sobering them a bit as they watch the ginger disappear in the crowd.  "We should visit him later and make sure he's okay too."

"Sounds like a plan."  Girlfriend smiles and takes his hand, swinging their arms between them.  A waitress comes by quickly, helping them pack their barely eaten dinners and shooing them out of the bar.  As they leave, Boyfriend passes by Server-chan, her expression still looking exhausted as their eyes meet.  But despite this, she smiles when she sees him, and he hopes she had fun too during his show.

He and Girlfriend walk for about five minutes before a limo pulls up beside them.  She sighs and turns to hug him tight, her face buried in his shoulder before she kisses him softly.

"Thanks for the lovely night," she whispers, soft and tender as the warmth from her cheek seeps through his shirt.  "It really was the best night of my life."

"I'm glad then," he whispers back, pressing a kiss to her temple.  "'Cause I'm gonna make sure I make every night the best night of your life from now on."

She giggles, pulling herself away reluctantly before climbing into the limo.  He watches as it drives away into the night, leaving him alone.

The night air is cold and brisk, but he finds himself warm regardless.  A smile wide and bright on his face as he stuffs his hands into his pockets, a tune coming out in the form of a whistle as he walks home.

What a night to remember.